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Chapter Text

It's eight hours into day two post-capture of their newest recruit, and Tomura is still 70% sure the kid is going to be able to be talked into joining the League of Villains. Eventually. Somehow.

It's not that he likes the brat, because he definitely doesn't.

Tomura doesn't really like anyone except maybe Sensei (not even himself, most days) so, no, that's not why he picked him.

But it's also not totally out of cruelty, either. It's niceness, maybe. Some version of kindness, like Sensei's kindness to him.

Because, yes, he's got selfish reasons for picking him, but that doesn't mean that the brat isn't being undervalued and humiliated at UA, based on what Tomura saw of the Sports Festival. Who chains a kid up on national TV and shoves a medal in their mouth like they're an animal? The LOV might murder people but at least they still treat the people they murder like they're humans, not dogs. They have standards, thank you, All Might and the rest of hero society.

Unfortunately, the brat's proving a bit harder to convince than expected.

Far from falling on his knees and weeping from gratitude at the rescue and at the out he's being offered from a life of brainwashed martyrdom:

"The fuck?" is what the brat says, accompanied by a doubtful squint, when Tomura patiently explains to him that shoving medals in people's mouths and humiliating them on national TV is a thing Decent People Don't Do, "This some good cop-bad cop shit you're trying? Cuz it ain't working. I dunno what pampered hole you spawned out of, but that shit's fuckin' normal. How else they gonna show everyone they're in charge unless they string up the people who challenge 'em and make everyone else watch and throw stones at 'em?"

"It's not normal," Tomura insists. "When you don't want to do something, you have the right to say no and have people respect that. That's the sort of society that we are going to create."

Eventually. Probably. After some good, old-fashioned revenge and murder.

"What, you mean I can say 'No, I don't wanna be a fuckin' villain or be sitting in this chair right now' and you'll let me go?" the brat asks cynically.

"Well, no," Tomura admits. "But that's different!"

The brat rolls his eyes.

Dabi, the traitor, snorts.

And OK, the 70 does drop to a 69% certainty, but Tomura is still very confident whatever brainwashing they've drilled into the brat at UA to make him think this way will be reversible. More importantly, if the top hero of his year turns villain and agrees society sucks, UA will probably have to close and All Might will be one step closer to being ruined.

This makes it worth suppressing the nagging urge to disintegrate the child and keep trying to convert him.

Tomura launches into monologue 23.

It goes about as well as its predecessors, and somehow what's supposed to be a speech for an audience of nine has become an actual audience of zero, because Dabi is nodding off, Twice and Himiko are playing cards, Mr. Compress is shielding them with Dabi’s badass longcoat which he’s appropriated through unknown means, possibly in the hope that Tomura won’t see and therefore won’t disintegrate them for this blatant disrespect, Spinner and Magne are making Kurogiri get them drinks, and the brat Tomura is trying to save from UA’s brainwashing and give an out to that’s better suited to his talents than dying-slash-hurting-his-family-and-himself just to help other, undeserving people and enable their selfish reliance on heroes is staring blankly at the floor, like counting cracks is more interesting to him than listening to the various ways heroes have ruined society and made it suck.

But Tomura is confident.

Annoyed, but confident.

He's so confident that he, well, isn't paying attention to the news, despite alarmed note that's suddenly sharpening the reporter's voice, or the way his kidnappee's eyes snap up and glue themselves to the screen over his shoulder, sharp brows drawing into a frown.

Two minutes later it happens:

One moment, Tomura is part-way through reminding the brat he's the main attraction here, thank you, not the TV behind him. The next, there’s a loud rumble, and the whole building is groaning and shaking.

It shouldn’t be a problem. This is Japan, this is obviously an earthquake, and there are earthquakes every other week. Even the non-heroes know that when earthquakes happen you lift your cups, hold onto something solid, and maybe take refuge under the doorframe if you get really concerned, and it’s just business as usual when the tremors stop.

It really shouldn’t be an issue.

Unfortunately, though, when Sensei chose this bar, it's starting to look like he didn’t pick it for its compliance with building regulations, because very, very ominous cracks are forming through those bricks, and, damn it all, Tomura likes this place, this is his home, how dare the roof be cracking over something as trivial as this?

“Don’t you dare!” Tomura commands, with a mixture of anger and dread, fixing a glare at the slow crack that’s forming on the roof above his PC, his damaged All Might poster, his favourite office chair, while his brain stutters, stuck, somewhere between What do I do if the building falls, can I disintegrate it before it kills us? and What if heroes investigate this? and What if this is widespread and Sensei’s medical gear is affected. What if Sensei dies?

The rest of the LOV are similarly alarmed. Even Dabi’s on his feet, and too distracted to mind his missing longcloak, which makes Tomura think things are worse than the bad he’s already semi-sure they are. And, okay, maybe he’s panicking. Not much, but slightly. Sue him. It’s not like Sensei’s given him a handbook for what he’s supposed to do to deal with a crisis he hasn’t caused.

"I think you should--" Magne starts.

She doesn't get to finish, because there's a deafening creaking and crashing as the roof and the floor give way at the same time, and—

Tomura loses sight of most of the League amid the debris. He’s aware of crumbling metal, loud roaring and shaking, a distant fear clawing up inside him at the knowledge that this isn’t a hero attack, whatever this is isn’t going to stop just because he’s on near-death if it gets that far, and—

And then he catches sight of Spinner, bleeding from one arm, holding onto a jutting bit of rebar is extending his—whatever his weapon thing is as the floor gives way—and Tomura grabs it, and grabs his 15-year-old recruit’s chair and—

Whoops.

He shouldn’t-- really shouldn't-- have used five fingers, grabbing either thing.

Under the panic, the hysterical laughter as dust slips through both hands and he starts to plummet down into the gaping darkness of whatever-the-hell-is-underneath-the-bar-Tomura-lives-in sliver that’s left of his sanity criticises him:

Can’t you even get this right?

Is there anything you don’t screw up?

There’s a heavy, agonizing thud as his arm strikes, something, something he can’t make out in the choking blackness (literally choking—the dust is thick enough to be caking him) and he thinks he’s also smelling sewage, but it’s hard to be sure because father’s hand is doing a good job of blocking it, and distantly he thinks he hear a second pained grunt, not his own, and his kinappee sneer, “You lot—really are—fucking—useless, aren't you?”

The rest of whatever else the brat has to say is lost in sudden pain as his head strikes something hard and sharp, father’s hand slips off his face, he can’t catch it, and his world disappears into painful, terrifying blackness, and his ears fill with the distant roar of rushing water.

His last, distant thoughts churning dully beneath the apathy are:

I want Father back.

I hope you are OK, Sensei.

I hope you find me.

And, maybe a bit late (maybe he’s concussed, because in hindsight it really should be coming first):

Fuck, I hope my kidnappee also gets knocked out by this. I don’t want to be clubbed to death by a 15-year-old with anger issues. That would be such an embarrassing way to die.

Chapter Text

Underground Sewage Network - Night - Unspecified number of hours after what is being dubbed by reporters as "The Kamino Disaster".

Everything stinks.

Truly, disgustingly, vomit-inducingly stinks.

Tomura's quirk is decay and he's killed his fair share of people, so he's not squeamish about death. He wears his clothes for weeks between washes without being bothered by it, too, and so he's always assumed he's largely immune to concerns about hygiene and germs.

It is dawning on him now, as he lies partly-submerged, waist-deep in a sluggishly-moving mixture of storm water and what smells like literal shit, that disintegration is an extremely clean method of execution. Dust doesn't leave any smell behind. Whereas this... This is-- this is akin to going swimming in a pit latrine, and Tomura finds he does, apparently, care at least a bit about hygiene, because this feels, as the liquid-- worse than liquid-- laps against him, disgusting. Tomura holds his breath until he can't, half-gags, and becomes abruptly aware as a spike of agony lances through him that he's quite literally pinned by something that's speared straight through his left arm, partly through his left side, and is attached to something heavy that feels like it's going to tear something that matters if he moves.

He'd disintegrate it, but he has no idea if that will help. If it happens to have pinned an artery--

He can't check, though, because-- another problem-- he can't see.

He can hear, though. The distant screech of rats. Water-- sewage-- trickling. His own labored breathing.

He's missing the family, too. There's fourteen parts of him that are feeling too light, too exposed, and he wants to scratch his neck or his wrists or his face until the crawling feeling of unease slithering beneath the pain goes back to being manageable again. It's a bad habit. Bit too late to change bad habits this late in the game though, isn't it?

Where are you, Sensei?

Where am I?

He tries his other arm, and it cooperates, wet and heavy, and the stink gets worse when he scratches, which means he's probably smearing literal shit over his neck right now.

Pathetic, is what it is.

If he moves, he'll tear his arm and his side open.

If he doesn't, he'll starve.

Either way, there will be ten million germs fighting it out to be the germ that infects his limbs and sends them black and rotting.

Die fast or die slow.

It feels like a naggingly familiar choice, even though he can't really remember why.

Sensei might know.

Is Sensei hurt? Sensei probably is hurt. Maybe his gear is impacted. Tomura should probably save him, if Sensei's not up to saving him.

Tomura grips the rod with four fingers and tries to stand and lets out a shallow whine as he becomes aware that not only is his arm pinned, his right leg is probably broken, and to add insult to injury he's lost his shoes and there's something that feels like a wad of toilet paper slopping against his toes, sopped and heavy.

Gross. Disgusting. Pathetic.

Funny really, that this is how he goes.

He's always pictured death coming at the hands of All Might, if it has to come at all.

What an unworthy end, after his years of plotting: Blind, pinned, and scratching himself to death in a puddle of sewage.

Ashes to ashes, and trash to trash.

Who says Fate doesn't know how to sort out the garbage?

A bitter hiccup of laughter rises.

"I hate you," he rasps.

To-- Fate, maybe?

To All Might, for creating a society where he can be swept away like this, and where nobody is going to come looking for trash like him?

To himself, for letting himself be swept away in the first place?

And then:

"Back at ya, Hands," rasps his kidnappee's voice from somewhere close to his left, and it's not until the darkness lights with the faintest traces of orange that Tomura realizes--

He's not blind.

Kid's not free, which possibly explains Tomura's un-murdered state. Brat's tangled up in chains that are holding him at an awkward angle and are loosely pinning him to what looks like a lump of rebar embedded in either metal or concete-- the other side of the same one that's also spearing Tomura (how big is the mass trapping him anyway?) and that's probably the only reason they weren't separated when the water swept them off to-- wherever this is. The light lasts seconds at most before the brat lets out a soft grunt of pain and it dies. Stupid of him, roasting his own hands inside those restraints just to try to look intimidating, is what Tomura should be thinking. He's a bit too distracted by the fact that he's apparently, well, not blind.

"Make light again," he orders.

He needs to see. If he can get a good enough look at that bar in his arm, maybe he'll be able to tell if it's spearing an artery or if it's only spearing his nerves.

"I ain't doing shit."

Perverse bastard.

Tomura hates him.

Why did he pick this brat?

Why the hell did he ever want him?

"Make it or I'll disintegrate you," Tomura hisses.

"Yeah? Good luck doing that when you can't even sit up properly to scratch your neck open," the kid scoffs. "Fuckin' loser."

"Because you're doing so amazingly sitting up yourself," Tomura sneers hatefully, scratching harder at his neck. "I don't see you being successful at getting out of your restraints either, even after I was considerate enough to disintegrate the chair you were chained up to before we landed in this cesspit."

Sullen silence greets him. Ha! Take that, brat.

"About time your minions came for you, isn't it?" the brat turns the subject, apparently not willing to 'take that' when it comes to losing conversations. "We've been here fuckin' hours. How long does it take 'em to search one shitty sewer maze? Shouldn't villains be pros at running around sewers like rats?"

Tomura wishes they were.

He doubts most of them can even find 'north' without a compass.

"They'll be on their way," he lies confidently. "Assuming no heroes are inconveniently delaying them, in their attempts to rescue you."

He can hear the brat bristling-- savours the tiny specs of light that come with anger, because he hates being blind, and he needs to work out how to make the brat keep losing it so he can keep seeing--

"Like they would," the brat is saying hotly, sounding offended, "I can handle myself and they know that, but there'll be a fucking town's worth of shitty extras busy dying after those shock-waves, in case you missed that while you were fucking monologuing. The heroes'll be busy saving the people who need saving, not rounding up a bunch of villain losers."

"Then I guess you'll be relying on villainous losers for a rescue, won't you?"

"I ain't the one needing rescuing, fucker. I ain't got four feet of rebar through my side. I'm just the one bein' nice enough to sit still and not jar it too much cuz I ain't a fucking murderer. Keep annoying me, and maybe I'll change my mind on that."

Tomura's side is agony. His arm is agony. His leg is agony. He's trapped with a disrespectful child who won't be recruited, and who won't let him have the last word in any of their arguments.

He's-- he's being threatened by his kidnappee!

Why is this happening to him?

Why can't it have been the brat who got pinned by rebar instead?

Tomura can't have built up that much bad karma in his life, surely?

He's done his research-- Bakugou was a shitty person, too, especially in middle school; that and the Sports Festival are why Tomura decided to recruit him in the first place.

It's not like he kidnapped the Midoriya kid, or Endeavor's brat.

Can't fate remember that and make things a bit fairer?

"...Why'd you base your HQ above a sewer, anyway?" the brat asks.

"What? Whining about your surroundings, are you? I'd have thought you'd have been used to sewage, seeing as you spent nearly an hour choking on it on national TV," Tomura sneers pettily, determined to have the last word at least once.

In hindsight, maybe he shouldn't've. He can't decide if he's still trying to recruit the brat or not, but he's leaning towards a definite 'no' when the brat moves like he's lunging for him, gets jerked back by his chains, and jolts the concrete lump-- the total inhumane bastard, what the hell was that tripe he'd spouted before about not wanting to murder Tomura???-- and sends a knife of agony followed by a flood of wet, treacherous blood spurting down Tomura's entire arm as the rod slips and tears.

Tomura manages to bite back most of the scream, and, ooh, when he's free, when he lives, if he lives, he's going to tear out the brat's brains and feed them to a nomu, he's going to--

Light, blessed light.

The kid's fearlessly close, close enough to disintegrate, twisted at a terrible angle that has to be killing his back, and he's squinting as Tomura's blood spatters on his face.

"Shit," is the kid's assessment, spoken clinically and devoid of even one scrap of proper empathy.

Tomura can't find it in him to disagree. How long does it take you to bleed out from a splintered artery anyway? Can he at least kill the kid before he goes?

"Oi, Hands?" kid sounds like this isn't the first time he's spoken, which on some distant level is worrying. "Said, 'm gonna need you to disintegrate the restraints."

He extends a restraint as far as it'll go in Tomura's direction while he speaks, like he's actually dumb enough to think Tomura will be doing that for him.

"Why?" Tomura laughs bitterly, weakly, as black specs spot his vision, not lifting a finger to do it. "So that you don't die in here even if I do? Like hell. Die and rot and suffer, little hero. You deserve to. It's your fault I'm dying like this."

Kid has the gall to roll his eyes.

"Look, you want first aid and that shitty mess cauterized before you bleed out? Or you wanna sit there whining like a little bitch till you bleed to death? I'm fine with either, fucker, so take your pick. Not like I'm dying regardless. I wasn't dumb enough to clunk my head on a pipe and nearly drown when the water came, so I know which way I need to go to get out. Two week walk max. One, if I don't have your broken-ass leg slowing us down. Plenty of rats to eat, and if it's boiled first, only weak losers die from drinkin' sewage water. Only difference free hands makes is if I explode the meat to death or club 'em."

120 seconds, roughly, until you bleed out from a severed artery.

The brat's wasted over half of them on not explaining soon enough that he apparently Has Survival Skills and may actually have a Way To Live that doesn't include the important prerequisites of relying on allies and Being Rescued.

Tomura wastes ten precious seconds trying to think of a better plan for his own continued survival.

Tomura wastes ten more precious seconds glaring hatefully when he can't.

40 seconds to go.

Tomura wastes ten more trying to puzzle out why the kid's even offering, brain feeling more and more fogged.

Is it some stupid hero thing?

The strong get stronger, because they make the people they help weak, dependent and pathetic?

Does the kid think he's going to turn over a new leaf if he does it and suddenly not try to disintegrate the universe anymore? That's--

"Stupid brat. 'm a villain. Always be one. Not going to--change if y'do it."

So, why not just let me die?

He's-- curious, he thinks. Curiosity killed the cat.

But-- he does want to know.

He does.

(He's wasting seconds, thinking this.)

He wastes another five asking.

Thinks maybe he laughs.

He feels more than sees the kid shift. (That's all he is, isn't he? A 15-year-old kid, and Tomura is asking why he isn't committing murder.)

"Look, honestly? I don't give a fuck if you live or not, if that's what you're asking. You wanna die, be my guest, just don't go whining to whoever exists in the afterlife that there weren't heroes who woulda saved you if you'd let 'em."

Death and the afterlife are-- concepts Tomura prefers not to think about.

He doesn't really mind dying-- accepts on some level that he will one day-- but that doesn't mean he wants to know what's waiting for him there today.

Which is, perhaps, why Tomura finally, finally lets his fingers flutter down-- the brat tenses but doesn't pull away when four of Tomura's fingers land on his forearm, and--

Quaint, heroes.

So quaint.

The brat will-- really will-- risk death to--

Roast rats instead of having to catch and club them?

Not be an accidental murderer?

Because it's in the job description?

Stupid child.

Kid's not moving away though. Not even with his fifth finger hovering over him like the grim reaper.)

(There really is no way the brat's joining him on the dark side, is there?)

Tomura wonders if he should disintegrate him on principle, for his stupidity.

In the end, though--

Twenty seconds left.

He wants to live.

He doesn't want to die.

He lets his fingers move to the kid's restraints, and activates his quirk on the lukewarm metal underneath his fingers.

"If you're lying, brat..." he slurs.

"You'll die like a loser, which you fuckin' deserve for not doing that shit eighty seconds sooner."

Repellent brat.

And then there's a burning pain-- literally burning, he can smell his own burning flesh-- followed by darkness, and--

He's going to have to do something about this fainting habit.

It's starting to be a little bit embarrassing.

Int. Warehouse - LOV Lair - Night

In their defense, the League do endure the sewage smell and look down there a bit for their absent boss. They're not totally disloyal. It's a labyrinth down there, though, and with the flooding, who knows where any bodies were swept away to? None of them have quirks that are suited to dark places or first aid, and nobody is good at swimming.

"Which means we've got a problem," Magne sums things up bluntly, looking at the rest of (what's left) of the League, where they've gathered in Dabi's preferred abandoned storage shed meeting place.

"Just the one?" Dabi sneers.

"I don't think things are too bad. We're all doomed!" Twice wails, clutching his head.

"We're not doomed yet," Magne continues, over these interruptions. "But All For One wants to make contact with Shigaraki, and if he can't, odds are high he's going to cut our funding. If he stops working with us, other villains will, too. And that's not even going into the fact that heroes are breathing down our necks looking for what's probably a bloated corpse getting feasted on by rats right now."

Everyone digests this.

Well, almost everyone.

"I like Izuku-kun," Himiko sing-songs, paying tragically little attention to the problem at hand. "I like Ochaco-chan, too."

Spinner sighs and points out that none of this would have happened if they'd just listened to him and followed Stain's principles and not gone around kidnapping schoolkids in the first place.

"We need to do something," Dabi says.

Something aside from uselessly assigning blame, that is.

"That we do. But what?" Mr. Compress wonders, deftly plucking hay out of his boots, cruelly throwing the ball straight back into Dabi's court, and looking at him expectantly.

Bastard. 

It doesn't take Dabi long to realize the rest of the LOV are also looking at him with identical expectant gazes, because apparently voicing an opinion means he's leader material, no matter how useless said opinion is. (Which is fair-- it is their only criteria for following Shigaraki after all. That and the all-important funding.) Still. Dabi finds himself thinking what a shame it is that dear old daddy never set the bar so low for being pleased with him. Maybe if he had, Dabi wouldn't have spent the last four years of his life plotting how best to roast the bastard.

"For now..." decides Dabi, after a minute or two of consideration, "Twice? You got the brat's measurements while he was in the chair, right, and of our illustrious 'leader' while he was monologuing?"

Twice allows this is indeed the case.

Two failed attempts (note to self, do not use maximum firepower on hostile clones) and one-or-two minutes of undignified dogpiling later, 'Bakugou' is safely bound and in quirk restraints (sadly, Twice cannot control his clones who retain their original personality and power with lower HP, and clone Bakugou is just as interested in blowing them up as actual Bakugou had been, and is cursing at them just as belligerently as his more durable counterpart) and Dabi is only slightly sweating when clone Shigaraki goes to report to All For One that he blacked out for a bit there, but it's situation normal with the LOV.

Fortunately, All For One seems to buy it.

So-- Dabi can only hope-- do the heroes, when a full week later, Dabi tells Hawks (their shady as fuck new contact who Dabi unfortunately finds he likes just enough to be willing to pretend he doesn't see straight through what the pro-hero's up to)-- that he's had a crisis of conscience (he hasn't) and wants to free the school kid who Shigaraki's losing his patience with.

This part is true. They've gone through three Bakugou's so far, because the little shit doesn't know how to hold his tongue, and Shigaraki's temper's never been his strong point. Dabi knows he's only a clone, but the little shit always looks so fucking shocked whenever he starts to disintegrate into mud, like he honestly believes he's invincible, and Dabi's kind of sick of it.

"...You sure you'll be OK doing that?" Hawks asks, twirling a feather thoughtfully.

"I'm not going to admit I'm doing it," Dabi rolls his eyes languidly. "Obviously. Not like our dear Leader spends every waking moment monologuing at the brat."

Not since the first time he disintegrated him, anyway. Now he just treats the clone like it's an experiment for what things will work on the real Bakugou, which is both better and also worse. Not like the clone knows it's not real.

Hawks eyes Dabi a bit longer like he's not sure if he's willing to admit his true colours, but apparently Dabi must look nicer than he is or it's the fact that the kid's a kid that does it, because Hawks agrees to make the transfer and not two days later the headlines-- the ones not talking about the damage that unexpected earthquake did, or how amazing All Might is for saving so many people from crumbled office buildings-- are flashing with headlines about the kid's safe and triumphant return thanks to a 'that's classified' operation headed by the tireless Hero Public Safety Commission.

Even when the new Dorm system is introduced, Hawks never comes chasing Dabi for the real Bakugou, so Dabi silently thanks his lucky stars that Clone!Bakugou apparently makes it a priority never to take damage. He doubts this plan would have held up three seconds if it had been the Midoriya brat he'd tried this with.

"To heroes with healthy self-preservation instincts," Dabi toasts the stars, in a peaceful, dingy abandoned warehouse, drinking alone.

Funding = secured.

Heroes = no longer breathing down his neck.

Conscience = no longer being unnecessarily triggered by kids.

Alignment = safely neutral evil.

Dabi finishes his shochu and gives himself a mental pat on the back and congratulates himself for a job well done.

Now he can get back to the real job he joined the LOV to do: revenge on daddy dearest.

Assuming Hawks stops ambushing him and distracting him with idle chit-chat and bad jokes long enough for him to plot anything, because post-freeing 'Bakugou', Hawks has taken disturbingly often to treating Dabi like he's not evil and like they're friends.

Dabi will probably have to do something about that, too. Eventually.

Chapter Text

Underground Sewage Network - Night -  5 hours post "The Kamino Disaster".

There are shitty days, and then there are days when you’re stuck fuck knows how deep in the sewers with the whiny villain you were dumb enough to be caught by who’s more useless than Deku was back when he was a deku, trying not to think about what the old hag’s gonna say when she sees these clothes, trying not to think about the nagging pain in your leg because not like there's anything here to splint it with and if shitty Deku walks on broken bones so you can you, trying not to think about how much this whole place smells like choking on sludge, and trying not to think about what it felt like ten minutes ago to be reaching into the hole you made in somebody else’s fucking body and trying to find where the fuck the tear in their artery is, trying not to think about how still they are and how you can’t really hear them breathing, because you’re 80% sure you just accidentally killed them--

Stop being a pussy.

You’re Lord Explosion Murder. He’s a fucking villain. He’s a fucking creep who stalks shitty Deku at shopping centers and hurt Sensei. Who gives a shit if he dies?

Katsuki, apparently, based on the way his hands won’t stop fucking shaking.

That doesn’t mean shit, his ego attempts to reassure him. That’s just muscle strain.

Sure. Muscle strain, Katsuki thinks back at it sourly. From sitting chilling for three hours waiting for a lame-ass villain to wake, just so you can go and tear that shitty rod straight out anyway, and, shit, they say your first kill’s the worst, right? That’s all this is, right? If he accidentally (or deliberately) kills more people as Lord Explosion Murder, it’s not gonna feel like this, right?

(Is this why Asshole-Jeanist sent him that look when he told him his hero name?)

It's not gonna feel like this because he's not gonna die.  You're amazing. You did first aid perfectly.  If he dies it'll be cuz of infection, not you. He's the one who was dumb enough to base his HQ above a sewer. Not your fault the hygiene here is shit.

Exactly.

Right.

Which means, Katsuki needs to be boiling water right now so he'll have something to drink to keep his quirk powered probably, but not detonating shit in here, because until he has access to water he can't waste his sweat, which means he needs to look for something to boil water in, not sit panicking, because panicking is useless and he isn't useless and he doesn't do that shit.

All Might wouldn't panic.

All Might would probably punch his way through a ceiling, which isn't a bad plan, but Katsuki doesn't think either UA or the Hero Public Safety Commission is going to foot the bill for public property damage if he tries that shit.

Katsuki is also not sure where this is, what systems there are that he'll maybe fuck up by bulldozing through, what damage the earthquake's already done to the sewage or drinking water systems, or what-slash-who the fuck is above them, so-- rising, limping as he wades his way through the sludge, one hand glowing at a nice, stable 150° because that's the best he can do for a torch right now-- it sucks, but it's gonna have to be the mundane way he does this shit, not the All Might way.

Exits are what he needs. Manholes or doorways; he ain't picky at this point.

And look, no, he doesn't need them because he can get himself back to the basement they crashed through. He can. But, on principle, just, fuck no. Katsuki will die before he walks straight back into the League's shitty lair willingly, because there's gotta be an option that leads to Hands--if he lives-- landing in Tartarus where he belongs, and Katsuki coming out of this fuckup looking competent, like a person who single-handedly captured the head of the League of Villains, not like a weak loser who got himself held hostage for the third time in a year and either dies or needs to be fucking rescued.

So. Exits. That, as a long-term plan, and in the short term, something he can use to boil water.

In hindsight, maybe he shoulda asked Hands not to completely disintegrate the nice, cup-sized, hygienic, metal restraints.

Yeah. That would probably have been better, wouldn't it?

Katsuki bites back a soft grunt as he steps wrong because Number One Heroes don't do shit like cry or groan, not even when they're number-one-in-training, and chalks it up as one more shitty fuckup in the clusterfuck that's been the last few days.

The only upside to this entire mess is that shitty Deku isn’t around to see it. Katsuki’s not sure he could take a worried, pitying, let-me-help-you-Kacchan Deku on top of everything else that’s gone to shit.

Really? a small voice, maybe what's left of his conscience, says snidely. Things're like this, and you're still picking on the shitty nerd?

Katsuki scowls at it, scowls at nothing, because fuck it, so what if he feels better being annoyed at an imaginary Deku who isn't even here? Being mean to Deku is as reflexive as breathing, and it's not like Deku wouldn't be doing those things if he were here, because the shitty nerd fucking would. For all Katsuki knows, the nerd's already trying to get here so he can be annoying Katsuki even now.

You saw his arms. You really think the shitty nerd’s in a condition yet to be trying to get anywhere? He's probably not even conscious yet.

Yeah, sure, Katsuki tells his conscience, but has his conscience seen shitty Deku? Deku’s a self-destructive, suicidal little shit, and if you tell Deku that there are two paths to a nice, peaceful inn where he can rest for the night, one way through a nice, peaceful forest and one way swimming through lava, shitty Deku will without hesitation and for no apparent reason, take the lava.

Case in point: The fact that he still doggedly persists in his one-sided efforts to be friends with Katsuki even though there’s now a class full of nicer, better alternatives he can befriend who didn’t bully him for the last 11 years for being a quirkless loser.

That just means he's a better person than you are.

The fuck he is. Who's side is Katsuki's conscience even on, anyway?

Katsuki's fine as a person. Kinda. Even if he's not, though, it's shitty Deku who's too nice, not Katsuki who's more than averagely horrible. That's what the old hag used to tell him at middle school, isn't it? No, Katsuki, the losers who can't score more than 70% on their tests aren't pathetic. No, Katsuki, you're not allowed to look down on other people just because you were lucky enough to be born smart and born with a good quirk. They're not pathetic, they're normal. And, no, Katsuki, the old hag isn't gonna buy you All Might toys or say 'well done' when you ace something because you only do badly when you screw up or don't try, there's nothing you can call 'doing well' when 100% is your baseline minimum. Shitty extras get rewards for doing better than 50% because 50% is their default so they actually had to work to be where they are.

Well, by that logic-- which sucks, since born awesome or not Katsuki's pretty sure he works hard plenty, but Katsuki's had to live with it, so even if it sucks it should be consistent-- then Deku was born nice and Katsuki wasn't, so it should be Katsuki who gets told 'well done' by his conscience every time he doesn't punch Deku in the face. Stupid, predictable Deku. Always happy cheering Katsuki on, eyes shining a tiny bit like they do when he's watching an All Might video, until Katsuki gets his opponents down and they start crying, and then suddenly Deku has the guts to bound forward, scared and shaking and disapproving, like he's the hero and Katsuki’s the mean one for not giving a shit if his opponents are leaking water from their eye sockets and wants to finish things properly.

Shitty nerd.

The fuck does All Might see in him anyway?

Now you're just being petty.

And, OK, that's fair, but so what if he is?

So what if--

Katsuki freezes, suddenly, jolted out of these musings because, shit, is that a skull?

Fuck, Katsuki thinks it might be.

Fuck.

Katsuki forces himself forward, inching closer, and--

It's filthy, it's been picked clean, but--

It's human.

Don't think about it.

Been dead for months, going by how clean it is.

Nothing to do with you.

So why the fuck is he picking it up?

Because it's probably some shitty extra with a family who want to find it and need to bury it, and since you don't have a phone to call it in, you need to bring it back to report because you're a fucking hero, so stop fucking shaking over a piece of shitty bone. The shitty extra who fucking died gets to be traumatized, not you.

Right.

OK.

OK.

The fuck does he carry it in? Not like he's got pockets.

Whatever.

It's whatever.

He'll find-- something. There'll be a garbage bag that was swept down a drain or something. He'll find something.

He's not gonna lose like Skull did.

Dead body germs and sewage germs. Bacteria will be having a field day over Hands' exposed cuts. His, probably, too.

The fuck don't people drop more pots down here, anyway?

Be a lot more useful than dead bodies. Is it really too much to ask for some shitty, nameless extra to have been fucking useful?

Don't panic.

Who gives a shit if he has to carry a skull around for a bit?

Not worse than lugging around Hands' dead body, which he's also gonna have to do if he botched his surgery.

So what if there's nothing to boil water in? You can live without water a few days.

Better.

You're not a loser.

You're not a fucking deku, so keep it together.

Katsuki keeps it together.

Thirty minutes of searching reveals:

• No more skulls. No more rest of the body, either.
• A few plastic takeaway containers. If he heats them carefully, water'll probably boil before the plastic melts.
• A few rubbish bags (thank fuck for villains who litter, because Katsuki knows the heroes don't).
• No pots. (Fuck that.)
• No convenient drink bottles filled with actual drinking water. (Double fuck.)

And then he strikes gold.

Well, lead, maybe.

Because there's a cluster of rats feasting on-- not a body, despite the rotting smell, just a rotting bag of rubbish, which is good because, a) He now knows where the meat is, and when he's hungry he can come back to kill it. Probably. But, b) The important thing is that, along with a lot of other things he doesn't want to think about, somebody--probably another villain, because this shit's fucking illegal--threw away their old rice cooker instead of recycling it, and right now Katsuki isn't complaining.

Not one of those cowardly rats is willing to throw hands with Katsuki for it when he pops a crackling explosion, so the old rice cooker is his.

Outside's cracked, but the lid's intact and the inner pot's removable and Katsuki's hand makes a better, faster heating pad than whatever trashy company made the rest of it anyway.

As a third benefit, the whole lot-- rubbish and rats-- are on some kind of a raised platform, maybe a walkway before the pipes burst and the flooding came, so the sewage here's only an inch or so deep which is a fuckton better than wading thigh-deep through fuck-knows-what and trying not to think about the sludge monsters that are probably living in it. Moreover, if it is a walkway, then if he follows it long enough, there'll probably be an exit, and fuck could Katsuki use a fucking exit yesterday.

Hands still isn't moving when he gets back.

Hands doesn't really move, either, when Katsuki hauls his useless ass over to the raised platform so he doesn't die of hypothermia (if he hasn't already been murdered by Katsuki, either by tearing that rebar out in the first place or by moving him like this after) because maybe the reason he's not waking up isn't that he's dead, it's just the sewage water's fucking cold.

No, Katsuki isn't doing shit like sharing body warmth or using his hand as a heat pack to stop him from dying if it is that.

Katsuki wouldn't do that shit even for Deku. He might for Shitty-hair, because Shitty-hair wouldn't make it weird or cry about it, but Shitty-hair's nearly as tough as Katsuki is and wouldn't ever need it. Hands doesn't get special treatment because Katsuki's not soft and he doesn't give a shit if Hands dies. Hands can thank his lucky stars that Katsuki's a hero and is being nice enough to move him at all, and isn't just abandoning his useless ass to rot.

Yeah.

That's better.

Katsuki draws his good knee up to his chin and rests his head on it.

Wraps the skull inside the bag and knots it up in case the rats get ideas about feeding on it, because Skull doesn't really need that on top of being dead.

I don’t give a fuck if I killed him.

I don’t give a shit.

I don’t.

Fuck introspection.

His leg hurts, this shit ain't working, and Katsuki doesn't do useless.

Katsuki gets to work boiling water.

More specifically, Katsuki gets to work rigging up a makeshift filtration system, consisting of:

1. Letting the solids settle out of the water in the plastic container.
2. Decanting into plastic container #2.
3. Filtering through a stretched piece of plastic with tiny holes poked in it to get rid of the floaters.
4. Finally boiling.

It's not ideal.

Shit, he doesn't want to drink this. Not even when he knows any bacteria in it are dead.

The fuck couldn't he have fallen into a sewer with Ponytail or Icyhot instead of a useless fucking villain?

Stop whining like a loser.

You said it right before: Only weak people will die from drinking this.

So what if it's gross?  You're gonna need it if you don't find the manhole or there isn't one anymore thanks to the earthquake.

All Might wouldn't let this stop him, and neither will you.

You're going to be Number One.

He still doesn't want to drink it.

Katsuki puts the lid back on glares at the darkness, and tries to crush the tiny part of him that wants to know what the hell's happening outside, how bad things are out there, was anyone he knows in any of the affected zones out there, because it doesn't fucking matter who's okay and who's not, there's no point stressing because until he's out of this shithole, it's not like there's anything he can fucking do.

He drifts off fuck knows how many hours later, lulled to sleep by the monotonous drip-drip-drip of distant water, and the screeching of fighting rats. They're not s'bad, rats. Remind him of the old hag, screeching like that. They're okay, right? Her and the old man will be okay. Maybe the house'll have gone, if the damage spread that far, but they'll be fine. Nothing crushes a Bakugou.

There's a brief moment when he stirs-- something's touching his hand, but--

S'just a rat, by the feel of it. Fluffy, damp and tiny, scratching claws. Probably cuz his hands are hot.

Rats aren't just like the old hag, they're also like shitty Deku because who the fuck curls up against a hand that's gonna roast 'em for breakfast tomorrow?

Dumb piece of shit.

Katsuki glares at nothing a while, and wonders what exactly he's supposed to eat if the only easily available food source is going to insist on acting like a cross between shitty Deku and his mom?

Not surprisingly, neither the darkness nor the rats bothers to reply.

Chapter Text

Underground Sewage Network - ?? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

Consciousness comes and goes in waves.

Sometimes, Tomura knows where he is: wet, itching, thirsty, hungry, feverish.

Sometimes, Tomura dreams he's back in the bar, back with Kurogiri, playing video games and pretending he's as deadly as the glass canons he plays and that the bosses he's killing are All Might. He never likes waking from those dreams.

Sometimes, Tomura is nowhere he knows surrounded by no one he recognizes, delirious and raving, flinching at shadows, scratching at his neck, and lashing out wildly to disintegrate anything that moves near him

He thinks he gets part of the walkway, once.

Remembers, vaguely, being hoisted out of deep water by the back of his shirt, what's left of it, and:

Fucking heavy, loser, you gotta stop with this shit, 'kay?

Worse than shitty Deku.

Sometimes, he's aware of being jolted, dragged on some kind of a makeshift mat of plastic by the kid who for unknown reasons has yet to abandon him to die, and he wants to destroy it, too, because he doesn't like this, doesn't trust the kid he kidnapped, doesn't know where he's being taken, the kid said he knew where the lair was, but he never actually promised he'd take them there--

And then there are times where he's half aware of being fed water, and--

Well, there are times like now.

A rare moment of lucidity, where he's propped up against a slimy wall looking down at a steaming container in front of him that he can see because his ex-kidnappee few feet away, holding up a hand as a human torch, looking bored and defiant and not at all like someone who's remotely interested in keeping Tomura alive, and--

"Soup," Tomura says, flatly.

It's not really a guess what it is, so much as just-- how?

It's in a plastic container, it's probably made with rotting vegetables or skinned rats, it should be beneath him to touch it, but--

It's warm. It's the first warm thing he's touched in days that isn't the kid's hands.

"You made soup."

"No, I boiled fucking sewage for three hours, of course it's fucking soup. Give it back if you don't want it, 'n I'll feed it to the rats. Not like I give a shit if you starve."

Which is fine, except that you don't give food to people you don't mind starving.

Right?

Tomura doesn't think that's just a villain thing. Nobody, not one person in all those crowds of people, gave him food back when--

But you're important, now.

You matter.

You made yourself-- Sensei made you-- someone who mattered.

That's why.

If the kid wasn't planning on putting him in prison, bargaining for information, or planning whatever it is he's planning--

Yes, that's it. That's all it is. He doesn't-- this isn't a him thing, it's a position thing. He doesn't owe anyone for this; doesn't owe the kid a thing.

The kid is to blame for yanking out the rebar in the first place, so if there's any debts here it should be the kid who owes him.

Yes. That's better.

Sensei wouldn't approve of him accepting food from heroes if it was anything else.

Sensei wouldn't approve of any of this anyway.

Where the hell is Sensei, anyway?

The light shifts as the kid reaches for the container impatiently, and Tomura clutches it closer to his chest with an angry snarl.

"...Fuckin' loser," the kid mutters, leaning back against the slimy wall behind him and glaring up at nothing.

Tomura ignores him.

Cautiously, he takes a sip, and--

And, well, it's not fair. Fate just isn't being fair. It gave him rebar through the side, gave him this pathetic infection with its inherent weakness, the too-heavy limbs and dull itch burning and the fogged feeling in his brain that's not safe, not any weakness that's acceptable to be showing to a hero in training who will use it against him later-- Tomura mightn't know how but he's sure the kid will-- but Fate gave the kid heat pads for hands and unfairly good cooking skills and-- well, the kid's skin's looking a bit waxy, maybe, under the grime, doesn't seem to like sleeping much when Tomura's in the same room disintegrating things maybe, but there doesn't seem to be anything else wrong with him.

Where is the justice in this?

This isn't fair.

"Is there anything you aren't good at?" Tomura complains.

He's watching the kid. Kid's an enemy he wants to recruit or maybe murder one day, of course he watches-- and it's only because he is that he spots the tiny pleased-slash-hostile look that flickers in the kid's eyes for a split second before the kid's back to his usual default of glaring.

"Convincing shitty villains there's no point in kidnapping me 'cause I ain't gonna cooperate, apparently."

Annoying brat.

Tomura needs to spend more time working out how to recruit him.

Maybe that pleased-slash-hostile look is a good place to start. Pleased with the praise, resentful of who he's getting it from, if Tomura is reading him right. Enjoys being told he's done well, like most kids, but doesn't like it coming from villains.

How the hell do you flatter people anyway?

Tomura might need to ask Sensei for tips, because Sensei flatters people all the time and Tomura really doesn't do that tripe at all.

Underground Sewage Network - ?? + ?? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

Screw recruitment drives.

Screw soup.

Screw the universe.

Everything hurts, and everything deserves to die, and Tomura hates it here in the darkness, hates the smell, hates the feverish shaking he can't stop, hates not being in control, hates that his ex-kidnappee is still sane, still moving, still knows where he's going, still has a better quirk for surviving this than he does, hates that there's no one he can disintegrate to make himself feel better, and most of all he hates that Sensei isn't here, hasn't come, because Sensei always promised nothing was more important than Tomura.

Like a barnacle on a cliff face, though, Tomura clings, stubbornly, to life, ignoring the battering waves of death.

He has plans. He's going to die of glorious starvation an unspecified number of years in the future after he's destroyed every living thing in the universe and all that's left is dust. He's not dying of a pathetic infection, not before he kills All Might and the rest of hero society. He's stronger than that. Better than that. More important than that.

"Thought you said ya were gonna rebuild society, not fuckin' nuke it," his ex-prisoner criticizes him when Tomura tries to explain this in one of the semi-lucid moments, when he hears the soft pad of feet scraping in the darkness; feels his ex-kidnappee doing something involving warm water and cloth near the itching, burning parts of his chest and bad arm that feels a lot too much like the kid might be cleaning his wound, "Anyone ever tell you ya life goals are shit?"

"My life goals--," Tomura rasps, past the burning sting as the water scrapes away-- puss? Sewage? Blood?-- "are flawless. I will go down in history as the person who ended history."

"Fat lotta use it'll be going down in history when there's no one left to read it."

"I don't need other people to define my success," Tomura sneers loftily. "As long as I know I have won, that's all that matters."

"Still a shitty life goal. Not like you ever are gonna win with All Might around and me."

Tomura musters his willpower, gathers his strength, and manages a clumsy swipe of one hand at the side of the kid's head. (His palm, not all five of his fingers.)

It's not easy; all of him aches, and his arm feels like lead. To add insult to injury, annoyingly, the kid doesn't even flinch; just rolls his eyes like being smacked in the head is somehow normal and continues whatever the hell it is that he's doing to Tomura's chest. Which could be anything, because it's not like Tomura bothered learning first-aid. That's not really a life skill you need when you're a villain. For all he knows, the kid could be dripping his nitroglycerin-like sweat inside Tomora and storing it up in there like poison or a bomb so that when the wound heals up later Tomora becomes a walking suicide bomber that he can detonate at will.

Tomura would like that to be what the kid's doing.

He could work with that.

He could recruit that.

"You're helping me anyway," he complains, because he has an awful certainty that the kid actually is. "You're helping an evil person get stronger, which is basically the same as being complicit in any of my numerous future murders. Why can't you be my minion?"

"Ya logic is shit, Hands. Go hire another nomu if ya need muscle for your shitty League. You ain't gonna get me, ever, cuz I got loftier goals in life than ending up in Tartarus getting screamed during visiting hours by the old hag or cried at by shitty Deku."

"I don't want another nomu," Tomura snaps, glaring. "Sensei is already making plenty. I want you in my party, not them. You have a good quirk, your personality is perfect, and your potential is being wasted at UA."

Kid's hands still for a split second before resuming.

"Sounds like something I should report. How many's your Sensei making?"

The. Absolute. Little. Shit.

How dare the brat?

This--

"Millions," Tomura lies spitefully. "What can being a hero give you that we can't?"

"Winning like All Might, and being number one."

"There won't be a number one position to fill once I am done remaking society, so being a hero won't get you there either."

"Seriously think ya got a snowflake's chance in hell of beating All Might? Ya can't even beat a few shitty bacteria. Where's your Sensei make your nomu, anyway?"

"Stop trying to milk me for information!" Tomura snarls. "I am being serious."

"Fine. Sure. Let's look at it being serious, 'kay?"

Tomura waits.

"I like blowing shit up, I like winning like All Might does, and I like murdering people who annoy me."

Mostly all good, villainous traits. Tomura makes an encouraging noise.

"Now, if I'm a hero, I get a stable 13 million yen per year plus commission to blow up shit, win like All Might, and murder people who annoy me. I get to work a shift, I get to train so I stay in top form, and I get access to government-funded support gear and costume upgrades."

"Stain believed strongly that heroes should not work for profit," Tomura glares.

If he had that kind of cash to splash, the first person getting a salary would be himself.

"Whereas if I'm a villain," the kid pushes on, ignoring that, "I gotta go whining to you for pay or self-fund blowing up shit, winning, and murdering people who annoy me. I'm stuck hiding from CCTV, wearing shitty B-grade gear, and instead of being able to work normal hours and stay in top condition, I get to work 24-7, no days off, and I get to be a weak loser who catches shitty infections when I get stabbed in shitty places like you are. Sounds like a fucking A+ trade off to me. Wonder why it is I'm not jumpin' up and down asking you to give that shitty contract so I can sign my life away."

Tomura bristles, glaring.

"At least we are being villains for ideals, not for profit."

"Ain't it better if heroes do do it for profit? No shame in being rescued by someone who fuckin' owes it to you cuz your fucking taxes pay their salary. Feels like shit to be rescued by someone who doesn't owe you shit and is just doing it to be nice."

Tomura glares more, because what the hell is it exactly that the brat thinks he's doing if it's not exhibit 'feels like shit'?

"I haven't paid a single yen of tax in my life," Tomura sneers.

"Yeah? Doesn't surprise me. I'll make sure I report that, too, so you can go to jail for tax evasion as well as kidnapping."

Tax evasion.

Tomura hates him.

Hates. Hates. Hates--

Tax evasion.

He's a murderer, thank you.

He's a cold-blooded, ruthless, remorseless killer, and--

Tax evasion.

Tomura, stiffly, laboriously, rolls over, giving the kid the literal cold shoulder, and comforts himself by silently imagining slowly, flake by flake, cell by cell, disintegrating the brat to death.

Underground Sewage Network - ?? + ??? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

Tomura wakes to the sound of an explosion, the smell of fresh blood, and a high pitched chitter and--

Danger.

All Tomura's senses are screaming that he needs to kill, destroy, obliterate--

He's wrapped in something sticky and restrictive, and for a moment he thinks the brat did this, got hold of duct tape or something, until there's another explosion, and in the light he can make out a spider-like, multi-armed monstrosity that's got the kid partly wrapped in webbing (is that what he's feeling?) and is using four of its upper arms to force the kid's arms down to stop the explosions so it can line up the best angle for sinking its dripping mandibles into his neck.

And, in hindsight-- of course.

Of course, in a habitable sewer, they won't be the only ones who live there.

Of course.

(Is this why the kid keeps moving them?)

(Is this not the first time they've been attacked?)

Some scientist has been very creative. The spider-thing's skin is tough as leather and doing an extremely good job against those explosions.

Its webbing isn't doing so well against Tomura's disintegrate.

Standing is a bit beyond him, but Tomura doesn't really need to stand, does he?

He's got a perfectly fine view as it is from here as the--

Animal?

Human with a spider quirk?

Some scientist's failed experiment?

--let's out ropes of webbing, sticky and strong, fighting to retie the brat, fighting to keep him still--

And, well, how embarrassing for him.

Another villain he's failed to persuade he won't make a good potential victim for.

"Stop struggling so hard, child," the thing sing-songs, crooning. "There is no point. There is no hope. Your eyes will taste so delicious, child. Red. Red. Red. Do you know how long it has been since--"

"Be longer when I've fucking murdered you, you eight-eyed piece of shit."

It doesn't seem to notice him.

It doesn't seem have even considered that his eyes are also red and just as edible as the brat's are.

It seems to have--

He's been ignored.

Overlooked.

Chosen second.

And, well, that's insulting. Tomura has always hated being insulted.

And unlike the kid, this monstrosity doesn't look like someone who can cook.

It doesn't even flinch when he shuffles forward behind it. All its attention is on the kid, and so it's really laughably easy to land five fingers on the bristling hair of the back abdomen and--

There's so much to hate.

Tomura hates everything, and five seconds later, all it is is a pile of dry, grey dust.

And then there's no sound in the darkness but the kid's ragged breathing and the distant drip- drip off water; no smell but ozone and sewage and--

"Shit," the kid mutters, eyes on the spot where the quirked up hybrid isn't.

On the dust fluttering to the ground.

"You're welcome, brat," Tomura tells him, because the kid's eyes are wide, looks high on adrenaline, is picking mechanically at the webbing that's still sticking to him, and it doesn't sound like he's going to be saying the thank you Tomura deserves any time soon.

At his words, the kid frowns and sends him a sour, offended look, and grumbles, "I ain't thanking you for shit. I had that."

And, well, sure. Tomura has this sewer, too, and doesn't owe the kid shit either, so he supposes that's fair.

Kid scoops up what he can of the dust, and ties it up in a rubbish bag.

Something about 'calling it in', when Tomura asks, and that murdering villains instead of just threatening to solely because they're trying to eat you is 'fuckin' illegal'. He sounds like he's on autopilot.

"...You're a shitty villain, y'know," the kid mutters, hours later, when Tomura is hovering on the cusp of sleep, just--

Watching him. The kid's watching him, not really hostilely, maybe just tired and like he can't really work him out.

Tomura lowers himself to flipping the brat the finger, and doesn't bother to reply.

Underground Sewage Network - ?? + ???? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

Tomura's fever passes.

He still has no clue where he is, no clue how to force the kid to tell him, which is why he's doing something he hasn't had to do since he was six.

He's settling.

He's not doing what he wants.

He's walking behind the kid instead of disintegrating him, trying to hide his limp, trying to look menacing, trying not to mind that he can quite literally shove the kid's shoulder from behind and all it gets him is an annoyed look and a 'don't fuckin' touch me, Hands,' instead of the genuine terror all sane people should feel when someone is walking near them who can disintegrate them.

Does the kid really think Tomura won't?

Does he really think he's invincible?

"...Why d'you wanna destroy society so bad anyway?" the kid asks, glancing behind him, maybe aware of the way Tomura's glaring at his shoulder.

"Because they deserve it. Society is twisted, it's restrictive, it's annoying, and no one living in it even sees the damage you heroes do. The damage All Might does."

"...It ain't that bad. He knows what he's doing. He doesn't destroy that many buildings, and he rescues the shitty extras in any that do go down."

Spoken like a true All Might fan.

Tomura disintegrates an innocent pebble, just because he can.

"I'm not talking about the structural damage. I'm talking about the fact that nobody batted an eyelid when I murdered my family when I was five because I didn't realise until I'd murdered all the ones I actually cared about that the problem was that my touch is death. No one investigated. No one arrested me. Five people and one dog died, and it didn't even make the news because there wasn't a flashy villain behind it and no victorious hero to smile for the camera."

The kid's stopped walking; is frowning a bit.

"...Sucks. But just cuz it sucks doesn't make it All Might's fault."

He doesn't understand; of course the kid doesn't.

UA has brainwashed him.

Society has brainwashed him.

Tomura is going to have to disintegrate him if he can't turn him, and, well. He's not sure he wants to. The kid would make such a good villain.

And maybe it's knowing what he'll do, what Sensei will do, to the kid if he can't make him see that makes him say it.

Or maybe it's not. Maybe he's just-- curious.

To see how a hero will react to the truth of what they're doing to society.

To see how he will try to defend his flawed reality and his precious heroes.

Whatever the reason is, Tomura speaks.

"Perhaps. Perhaps. But do you know what was even more funny? After. On the streets, when I was five and starving, they kept telling me, 'Don't worry, a hero with a suitable quirk will come. Don't worry that you're dying, a hero will turn up eventually and they'll help you.' And Society walked on by, walked on smiling, and left me to rot. I didn't need a hero. I needed one meal a day. It would have cost them less than 500 yen, and not one person stopped until Sensei. I didn't get so much as a blanket from Society, solely because somewhere, miles away, All Might and hero society existed. 'Because they save people, I don't have to. Because they're selfless, I can focus on me.' Consider what heroes made of anyone who is not one: I, a civilian, legally cannot use my quirk to defend or attack. They would throw me in prison for disintegrating a spider-hybrid about to murder a 15-year-old, because only heroes are allowed to save. That is what you heroes have reduced society into."

"Again. Sucks. Also, I wasn't about to be murdered, I had that, and, newsflash, I ain't been 15 since April."

"So, you agree society sucks," Tomura latches onto the important part, which definitely isn't his fact checking skills. (He's a villain. It's not his job to care about birthdays.)

"I agree society where you grew up sounds like it sucks, assuming you ain't lying. Doesn't mean it sucks everywhere, and doesn't mean you get to kill 'em for sucking. Not like you're out there looking out for people in shitty situations or handing out 500 yen a day to feed 'em. Are you?"

It's an insult that the kid feels the need to check.

"Of course not, I'm a villain. I am evil."

"Yeah, I got that when you sicced your shitty nomu onto All Might in USJ and set more of 'em loose in Hosu. Just saying, instead of destroying the economy disintegrating shit, a more rational solution'd be lobbying the government to have whatever shitty hero was in charge of your area's license revoked and replaced with one who actually did their job. Maybe also start up an orphanage for kids who accidentally kill their families in quirk-related accidents, and make sure they get quirk counselling early so they grow up knowing that this shit happens to other people, too, and killing someone with their quirk by accident when they're five ain't actually their fault."

There's a nagging feeling of annoyance.

These aren't the solutions he wants.

What he wants is something a little less let's be rational and a little more you're right, let's burn down the world.

Tomura scratches his neck, scratches more, because he doesn't remember Sensei mentioning that these options existed.

But that's probably just because those are terrible options. Tomura doesn't need a therapist to indoctrinate him with Society's beliefs, and starting an orphanage isn't going to change society. That's just going to make society think 'Oh, how terrible that that happened there, our heroes would never let that happen here' and nothing will change.

Society needs to be destroyed. Society needs to go.

"Not that being rational's your strong point," the kid tacks on after a while, insultingly.

"I can be rational. I am rationally working out how to destroy the world just fine," Tomura snaps.

"I'm rationally working on how to be number one. Doesn't mean I can't multitask and feed 5-year-old's in my free time if I want to. Fed you for days, didn't I? Ain't gonna stop me from being number one."

Whatever the kid can do, he can do better.

But, can he do that, Tomura wonders. Would Sensei approve?

Sensei always tells him he should do whatever he wants, but Tomura usually wants to destroy people in general and heroes in particular. He hasn't wanted to do anything that isn't objectively evil in, well, ever.

Focus. That's the sort of thing heroes do.

I am chaotic evil, Tomura reassures himself.

I am destruction.

I am a villain.

But if he's attempting to bring down a society where only heroes do this, then isn't it bringing society down if the villains do it?

No. I am chaotic evil, Tomura reassures himself.

Chaotic evil people don't help small children. And he's a fugitive anyway, without any access to funding.

Sensei helped you.

Sensei was also a fugitive.

"If you joined the League, I would let you start one and help run one," Tomura bargains.

"If you shut down your shitty League, got therapy and served your prison time, you'd be out in ten years, and you could get a fuckin' job and run it on your own," the kid returns, not even bothering to pretend that Tomura's very generous job benefits interest him.

"Because so many people will want to hire an ex-criminal they'll die from holding hands with, and entrust young, impressionable children to them."

"...Fair," the kid allows, after moment of consideration. "Fine, well, if I fail arrest you and you get back to your shitty League-- and that's a big if, cuz you better believe I'm gonna be fucking trying to get you in quirk restraints and in Tartarus where you belong the moment we're outta this shithole-- then if you find any starving 5-year-old's on the streets who need saving, you can take a photo of 'em and email it to me, and instead of tracing your IP address and arresting your ass, I will look into it and show you how this shit gets handled legally. But I doubt you're gonna find any, cuz, news flash, the HPSC has protocols for this shit and society in most places doesn't actually suck."

Tomura narrows his eyes, considering.

If he does this, and if people find out about it, will other villains accuse the League of being soft?

Will the kid be kicked out of UA for working with the League?

If he is, will he have anywhere to go that isn't the League?

Yes (a definite con), but also, yes and no respectively, surely?

"...Fine."

I am chaotic evil, Tomura reassures himself, for the second time.

I am destruction. This is an evil plan I am plotting.

This is a valid, evil recruitment effort.

Helping small children is just a side-benefit.

You can help small children and be evil, Sensei is evil and he helped me.

There's a tiny fission of-- something, though.

Something not totally like apathy.

Something, not believing, but--

Curious. He's curious.

The kid's wrong about society. Has to be, because the society he says exists is nothing like the society Tomura has experienced, and it's nothing like the society Sensei has told him about.

But he sounds so confident. So sure, that letting other humans starve just because they deserve to isn't what people do.

So sure that--

Just confident in general, that he's right and Sensei and Tomura are the ones who are wrong.

It's annoying, it's arrogant, and Tomura wants to disintegrate him for it, but he also wonders because--

Well, the kid did feed him, didn't he?

So, what if--?

Just what if.

For now, that's as far as this goes.

Maybe it's just as well Sensei isn't here right now.

He's fairly sure Sensei would not approve.

Chapter Text

Underground Sewage Network - 9(?) Days Post The Kamino Disaster

It's fuck-knows o'clock at night, Hands is curled up in the ball thing he does where he's trying to sleep without touching anything with five fingers, and Katsuki is boiling water well out of accidental-disintegration range (statistically speaking, that position only has a 50% success rate) so that he'll have something to drink tomorrow because unlike Hands, Katsuki thinks ahead.

It's boring work.

Whole sewer is, on the whole.

No Deku to look down on, no Icyhot to get annoyed at for not taking him seriously, no Shitty-hair to lean on his shoulder and tell him to be nicer to people he doesn't give a shit about, and no Sensei or All Might to impress.

Just the smell, the rats, Hands' shitty recruitment campaign, and the occasional spider-hybrid trying to eat his eyeballs.

And the minor problem that Katsuki is kind of, maybe, starting to wonder if he could be a tiny bit lost.

Whatever.

This is a sewage system. Even if he is lost, if he follows the water flow long enough, he'll find whatever decontamination system Japan has in place to deal with it, and there'll be a maintenance point for the engineers to get in that Katsuki can use to get out.

Whole thing's just like a longer version of the walk to the training camp minus the food waiting for them at the end of each day, really, and if Katsuki looks at it in that light then this whole shitty situation is just another training exercise.

UA should sign people up for this as a training camp, too. Katsuki should suggest it when he's outta here. Sensei's a sadistic fuck and UA has a disproportionate number of rich kids in it who've never had to use survival skills in their lives, so there's every chance he'll do it if Katsuki can put a good argument out there for how this made him stronger, and then Katsuki'll be the one getting to enjoy sleeping in a proper bed while everyone who isn't him has to negotiate their way through this slimy shithole.

Ha! Katsuki pities everyone who ain't paired up with Icyhot or Ponytail. Be puking their guts out by day three.

Sensei should pair those two up together, too, like the shitty end-of-terms, just to be doubly sadistic and ensure no one else gets a free pass in here and that they all actually have to think to live. Katsuki's gonna suggest that as well when he markets this idea.

"I don't see what you've got to be pleased about," Hands says sourly, uncurling enough to glare at him, apparently taking exception to the not-especially-nice grin Katsuki's sporting right now.

"You wanna blow up the universe, loser. You don't see what anyone has to be pleased about."

"On the contrary," Hands sneers venomously, still glaring at him, "I see exactly what other people have to be pleased about. They aren't shivering in a sewer. They aren't fighting with rats for rubbish so that they don't starve. They are probably well-fed, warm, and uninjured, and will be happily eating dinner or supper or whatever meal they should be eating at whatever time this is. They don't have a care in the world."

Fucker is shivering now Katsuki's looking for it.

Huh. Maybe that curled up position's not so much an 'I'm trying not to disintegrate shit' position so much as it's an 'I'm trying not to die of hypothermia' position. Explains the shitty success rate.

But if it is, then why the fuck doesn't Hands just move over to where Katsuki's sitting doing his job of doubling as the human hot-plate? Katsuki's gonna be radiating in the far IR for at least another hour and it ain't like Katsuki's gonna be a soft-hearted loser and move over to Hands if Hands does decide to be dumb enough to stay where he is.

"Sure they don't," is what Katsuki says out loud, cuz fuck if he's saying that shit out loud and double fuck if Hands gets to have the last word here just because Katsuki won't. "Cuz unlike every other earthquake ever, this one grew a conscience and decided only the shitty villain lair had to go, and all the other shitty extras two houses over didn't get so much as a rumble. No one lost their homes or their possessions in this quake. Gotta ask why none of the other natural disasters we've had in the last century decided to be this considerate."

"...I hate you," Hands mutters.

Katsuki rolls his eyes.

"So stop tryin' to recruit me, loser. No one forced you to kidnap me."

"Stop trying to talk me out of recruiting you," Hands snaps sourly, sitting up a bit to start scratching his shitty neck. "It won't work. I am the PC and this is the party and eventually you are going to join me."

Fucker is literally shivering, and he still ain't moving so much as an inch closer to the heat source.

Katsuki's incompetence-detection radar is triggering.

"If you're the PC in this shitty game, then I'm the badass named non-recruitable that everyone wishes they could pick the same face and voice as with the 'unkillable' flag set by the devs cause I'm marked 'essential' and the game ain't got a future without me. Ya ain't touching me ever, and I ain't joining your shitty party."

Hands stops scratching. Not long, maybe three seconds or so, but he stops.

"...You pay video games, too?"

"I do everything, fucker, and I do it all A+."

The poisonous look comes back with a vengeance.

"How did you even survive childhood?" Hands complains waspishly, returning to scratching with a vengeance. "My father would have beaten me to death if I had shown one half of your disrespect to my seniors. He'd have done it if I'd been as disrespectful as you are to anyone."

"I survived cuz society everywhere doesn't suck, and unlike your dad, neither of my parents is a piece of shit," Katsuki tells him bluntly, cuz wasn't Hands, what, all of five when he got his quirk, had his shitty quirk accident, and got kidnapped off the streets and probably brainwashed by the creepy loser who is now making an army of nomus for him?

Who the fuck beats up their five year old kid before they've even got their quirk to challenge 'em?

Not even the old hag does that, she might smack him sometimes when he's being a little shit or she thinks he's being a little shit or might be about to be, but that's just cuz he usually is and she's cementing her place as the person who gets to call the shots in the house, not cuz she doesn't love him or is gonna beat him to death or something, the old hag has ethics.

Even Icyhot's shitty dad was only a piece of shit in the name of training, and shitty or not, it worked didn't it? Only reason Katsuki's number one right now is because Icyhot doesn't give enough of a shit about being number one to try, and that triggers his incompetence-detection radar, too, because soon it won't be the only reason anymore, soon the reason will be because Katsuki's genuinely better, and the reason why will be that Katsuki thinks and applies and invents newer, cooler moves, but aside from a few shitty flames he won't use on Katsuki (the bastard), Icyhot's still using the same moves he used back on the first day Katsuki ever lost against shitty Deku.

Hands is scowling.

Katsuki scowls back because if Hands is making this a contest than Katsuki's not gonna be the one who breaks eye contact first.

(Loser's still shivering.)

"Heroes did that," Hands says after a solid two minutes, still not looking away, still scratching his shitty about-to-be-bleeding neck, "They were the ones who twisted Father that way. If his hero family hadn't abandoned him, if he hadn't mattered less to Grandmother than her duty, her career, her precious, faceless Society, Father wouldn't have hated her, wouldn't have hated heroes, and if he hadn't, he wouldn't have locked me out of the house for hours and beaten me until it hurt to move just for looking at pictures of her or daring to play hero or even say the word hero. Father may have been the symptom, but society is the disease. Society ruined everything."

Okay.

So that's new. Hands is descended from people who weren't all shitty human beings? Hard to picture it.

It's also TMI, and what the fuck is Katsuki supposed to say to this kind of oversharing?

They're mortal enemies, right?

Maybe there's some kind of a semi-truce thing happening for now, where Katsuki doesn't blow off Hands' pinkie fingers to neuter him while he can't defend himself because that feels too much like cheating and Katsuki plays on hardest, no reloads, thank you, and where Hands doesn't try to turn Katsuki into dust while he's asleep in return cuz Hands is a delusional idiot who still thinks he can turn Katsuki into as shitty a human being as he is, but the moment they're not in here, anything Hands says is going straight back to the police, UA and the HPSC. Hands fucking knows that, right? He's gotta know Katsuki doesn't give a shit about him.

Hands is looking fucking expectant, though, and, shit, as the hero, Katsuki is 60% sure he doesn't get to just pretend he's gone deaf from close exposure to one too many of his own explosions and act like he didn't hear that.

As the hero, Katsuki's gonna have to dredge up some kinda response.

Is this how Deku felt when Icyhot pulled him aside for no apparent reason to overshare his shitty backstory?

Katsuki feels empathy for Deku. Genuine, real, solid empathy for shitty Deku, and shit, how much worse can this whole shitty clusterfuck get?

"You played Hero when you were a kid?" is what Katsuki decides to go with, after a long, shitty, awkward pause, cuz anything else feels like it'll need a pass in Empathy 101 or a master's in Psychology, and Katsuki hasn't even got a pass in Being A Decent Human Being. "Fucking ironic, that is, given your current job. Which hero'd you play?"

Hands gives a short, bitter laugh.

"Who do you think?"

The fuck should Katsuki know? Only hero Katsuki ever bothered playing was--

"...All Might?"

A vein in Hands' temple twitches, but the shitty villain doesn't deny it.

"You're fuckin' kidding me," Katsuki says. "Cape 'n all?"

"I will murder you, brat."

Katsuki snorts. Sue him, tragic backstory or not, Hosu or not, it's hard to be intimidated by a Hands who apparently used to run around with a cape when he was five and quirkless playing at being All Might like shitty Deku.

How old even is Hands? His face is all shitty and weird so Katsuki's not really getting a read on it, but he's not really acting like a mature adult and Lord Of Darkness and Evil should act. Katsuki originally had him pegged as maybe thirty, but he's starting to wonder if the loser's even twenty.

"Society is rotten," Hands says, with warped conviction, eyes glittering with malice.

"How old are you, anyway?" Katsuki asks him.

"Older than you, brat, so treat me respectfully and listen."

"Ain't like I got much of a choice, have I? Not like I can tie you up and gag you with your quirk."

"Society," Hands ignores this loftily, "Is. Rotten. You say it's not, you say it's fine and that I just slipped though the cracks, but if I did, why is nothing different now? If your precious HPSC has rules for this that Society follows, why isn't anyone coming to help you?"

Katsuki glares at him instead of replying, cuz fuck if Katsuki knows.

Been over a week now, and UA is UA and All Might is All Might, and an earthquake this big, they'll have called in the pros. They will have finished earthquake cleanup in five, maybe six days max, and it doesn't take this long to find two people in a sewer when one of them is firing off explosions every few days. If they ain't here, they ain't looking, but why they ain't is anyone's guess. It's whatever, though. Not like it matters.

He'll ask them why when he's out, maybe, but he's got this.

He doesn't need a rescue.

Hands lets the silence string out another thirty seconds before shifting a bit, and finally (about fucking time) moving closer to Katsuki, eyes shining with the maniacal intensity of a villain who's about to launch into his next monologue cuz he thinks he's got an opening.

Pity gagging him ain't an option.

"Do you ever ask yourself if maybe the reason is that they don't care? Because you only mattered to them when you were a front page headline, the face of UA's teaching failures--"

Katsuki bristles, scowling, because he was not and is not, thank you, Katsuki will be the greatest success story UA has ever had, and Hands is fucking lucky Katsuki ain't blasting him in the face right now.

"--and now that Society has an earthquake's worth of injured children to care about, Society has forgotten you. And because Society has forgotten you, the heroes you revere and your precious, shining UA have no reason not to do the same. Why risk death fighting villains for one 16-year-old when they can earn ten times as much in ten times as little time pulling ten injured 16-year-old's from the wreckage of crumbling buildings instead?"

"You seriously asking me right now if there's any sane pro out there who ain't gonna be rescuing ten shitty extras trapped in rubble instead of rescuing one person who isn't?" Katsuki checks dubiously, because this sounds a lot like the Trolley question, and Sensei sent him the Done look last time when Katsuki scribbled out his couple of sentences and handed 'em in while Ponytail and shitty Deku were scratching out their literal pages, cuz of course he'd pull the switch and run over one person instead of five, duh, ain't like Sensei's giving him the option in the shitty question of moving the loser first or stopping the shitty trolley or pulling up a search on 'em to work out if anyone has kids or is about to die of a heart attack anyway or something.

Hands inches closer again. Props himself up on his good arm.

Probably still targeting the heat source.

Ha, like Katsuki doesn't see straight through what he's doing.

"That isn't what I'm saying, brat. I am asking, once they have finished rescuing those ten or ten thousand people from that rubble, do you really think any one of those heroes is going to be bringing your name up to the media and reminding them that Society should be throwing stones at UA for their failures instead of lauding them for their heroism? Do you think it's more likely right now that they are telling the press that they are still looking for you? Or do you think it is more likely that someone-- Midnight, perhaps, or your Eraserhead--has donned a suit, looked sombre for the cameras, and is telling them what a tragedy it was that you most likely perished in the earthquake. It's win-win for them, isn't it? If you get back, they get to say they are glad and sorry and they thought you died. They still look like heroes. If you don't get back because you annoy me and I kill you, no one ever knows they could have saved you and they still look like Heroes. You join me, you live, and it doesn't matter that they lied and never looked for you because everything is your fault for being the failure who turned evil, because once you are a villain, to them, it doesn't matter why because they no longer see you as human."

"Really getting into it, ain't ya? If you ever quit being a villain ya should apply for a teaching job posing ethical hypotheticals so you can watch a whole class of students squirm and shit themselves trying to work out how they can answer without being shitty human beings. Sensei in a suit, though. Fuck, now that shit I'd pay to see. Lightning-rod better've fuckin' recorded it if he did."

Hands makes a peeved, plaintive kind of noise and flops back to lie down again like Katsuki physically exhausts him.

"Doesn't it bother you, that you are expected to die for them if they ask you to and they aren't even looking for you?"

"It bother you your shitty League ain't looking for you?"

"Yes! They should be. I matter, I know it, and they know it, and I have a right to mind. And if you joined me, you would learn that you had a right to mind, too. We wouldn't abandon you or overlook you, we would treat you like family should treat each other. Like you mattered, too."

"I already got a family, fucker. I don't need two. And when I die, it's gonna be at 70+ of natural causes in a nice, comfy VIP ward in a hospital I own or funded, surrounded by my sidekicks and sidekicks' sidekicks telling me how much I meant to 'em all, and how shitty their lives are gonna be without me cuz they can't picture a world without me in it. Not like you. You'll be lucky if you don't bleed out alone in a shitty back alley from a knife in your back, the way you cut corners and skip out on background checks on your shitty recruitment campaigns. You got through even one shitty job interview in your life without trying to murder your recruits or them trying to murder you?"

If glares could kill, Katsuki's head'd be melting, cuz the hate Hands' gaze is burning.

Hands gropes for a pebble with four fingers and throws it at his head, which is basically the same as conceding Katsuki's won.

"Thought so," Katsuki says anyway.

Hands rolls over and pettily turns his back on him.

Cuz that's a thing you do when you're a villain stuck in the same sewer as the future number one.

Fuckin' loser.

Hard to hate him though.

The offer sucks, but it doesn't suck to be wanted this persistently by a potential employer, even one as shitty as Hands is. It's also kinda okay for a change to have someone not telling him his personality is shit and that he needs to be nicer like Deku and Shitty-hair are or comb his hair more or wear some shitty jeans if he wants them to stop looking at him like he's a disappointment or a problem who needs fixing.

He's not gonna take the shitty job offer, he ain't fucking dumb, but--

It's just not the worst, that's all.

Just sucks that the one person in Katsuki's life who doesn't seem to think his personality is shit and something they need to like him in spite of (if they like him at all) is the resident psychopath who wants to nuke the universe.

...Maybe everyone else in Katsuki's life has a point that there's some kind of problem there.

Whatever.

Hands is still going to Tartarus.

Underground Sewage Network - 10(?) Days Post The Kamino Disaster

Hands is still going to Tartarus, but as far as team-ups go, Katsuki can grudgingly allow, it's starting to look like he could do worse than being lumped with the shitty monologuing loser.

He's no Ponytail-- can't sort through rubbish without disintegrating it and his Sensei has clearly spoiled him rotten cuz Hands acts like he wouldn't know how to boil an egg without a video to talk him through it-- but:

Rubble blocking the path?

Disintegrate.

Broken glass and jagged metal in the way of anything?

Disintegrate.

Random monster wants to feast on them?

Disintegrate. (Still fucking illegal.)

Random dead bodies they can't carry and are gonna need to call in?

Glower for a bit, accept that Katsuki ain't leaving the shitty body, and, Disintegrate. (At least once Katsuki's blown off one body part like a finger or a toe for ID later, just in case the police can't actually ID dust. Not like Katsuki has a clue how Hands' shitty OP quirk works. Katsuki doesn't have a clue if the DNA gets destroyed by that shit, so it makes more sense to keep them in separate bags in one master bag with Skull, securely looped over his shoulder so he doesn't accidentally lose it while he's doing shit like cooking or climbing.)

"I don't see why we can't just leave them here," Hands complains, slouching against the wall watching Katsuki work, scratching at his neck while he waits for it to be time for his part of the job. "They are dead anyway, and their families are not going to thank you for cutting off one bit of their relatives and disintegrating the rest."

Katsuki pauses in his efforts to send Hands up a doubtful look.

Sure, Hands is the one who has actual experience with dead family members, but still.

"The fuck wouldn't they thank me? There's a 95% chance the families were gonna be cremating them and sticking them in an urn anyway. This way they don't gotta see a bloated corpse or pay funeral fees, and they can stop worrying about if their relatives are or aren't dead."

"You've never had any family members die, have you, brat?" Hands says, narrowing his eyes contemplatively.

"...So?"

"...Nothing. But when you do get out, don't blame me when your precious Society hates you for this."

Whatever. Katsuki gets back to work, because Hands is a loser who probably doesn't know what he's talking about. And look, Katsuki gets, kinda, that some people are probably sentimental about this shit, but rationally speaking, there's no one alive who'd actually prefer to be told their relative or friend's body's bloated and floating around in shit somewhere getting eaten by spiders and rats instead of neatly right in front of them in a plastic bag. Not like Katsuki's the one who killed them.

"You would make such a good villain," Hands sighs once Katsuki's done, stepping forward and disintegrating body #6. "Remember that when Society does its best to lynch you for telling these peoples' relatives things like 'but dead bodies don't matter' out loud if you do say that to them, and remember that my doors will still be open for you, so matter how much Society hates you."

Fuckin' loser.

Like Katsuki'd go to Hands if he had a problem that needed more than a tantrum thrown at it.

Katsuki sends him a look of scorn, knots up bag #6 and throws it in to join bags 1-5, and moves on.

Underground Sewage Network - 10.5(?) Days Post The Kamino Disaster 

"The fuck?" Katsuki says, most of today's goodwill forgotten.

It's justified. The Unimpressed, Done look he's stealing from Sensei and directing at Hands is 100% justified, because they're both kinda swimming right now, and five seconds ago they weren't. Five seconds ago there'd been a fucking walkway, and then Hands' sock got snagged on a bit of broken pipe, Hands' bare foot and five toes touched the ground, and--

"You can activate your quirk through your toes?"

If Katsuki sounds envious, that's because he is. Icyhot can do hands-and-feet activation, Ponytail can, and now Hands can. Even shitty Deku can.

That's four people who can do what Katsuki can't, and that's four too many cuz whatever they can do, he should be able to do better.

Fuck the lot of them.

"That's what you're getting out of this, you little shit?" Hands snarls venomously. "I am swimming in sewage right now. You are swimming in sewage. Do something useful like finding my sock before I disintegrate you because I am not hopping along behind you for however many more days it is going to take you to get around to finally leading us out of here, assuming you ever intend to get around to doing that at all."

The fuck is Katsuki supposed to know where Hands' shitty sock went?

"I can blast your pinkie toe off if you hate hopping that much. Sounds like that'd fix the problem just as nicely for you."

Katsuki dodges a well-aimed splash of sewage to the face, which is fuckin' gross.

"Take it that's a no?"

"That's a 'try it, brat, and I will reduce you to dust'."

Fuckin' loser.

Katsuki only just finished getting those wounds of his uninfected, though, and like hell is Katsuki going to waste his life or his back or ruin his leg more than it's already being ruined by being walked on broken like this hauling Hands' useless ass around twice if Hands picks up another infection. Katsuki murders shit, he doesn't score rescue points, thank you. He ain't shitty Deku, and the zero he got on his entrance exam for that category is the only zero he's ever been proud of scoring in his life.

(It's the only zero he's ever scored in his life, period.)

Katsuki gets to work finding the stupid sock.

He does find it. Eventually. Least he knows now the two holes in it are intentional, and not just (yet another) sign that Hands' shitty League doesn't have access to adequate funding.

Katsuki spends most of the next night trying to willpower his feet into heating up so he can activate his quirk through his feet, too.

Annoyingly, all he winds up with is a shitty temper and itching eyes from lack of sleep.

His stupid feet refuse to rise in temperate so much as a degree.

"If you joined me, Sensei could teach you how to do full body quirk activation, if that's the reason you're glaring at your feet right now, brat."

Katsuki redirects the glare to Hands instead.

"I only got one Sensei, fucker, so you can tell your B-grade knockoff to go eat shit and die."

He's still not giving up on getting his feet to heat up.

Chapter Text

Underground Sewage Network - ??? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

Tomura isn't sure when it happens. Not really.

Maybe it's when his ex-kidnappee makes the switch to killing rats and starts making soups from those instead of from rotting vegetable scraps. (Yes, it's a measure of how awful things are right now that this is an upgrade Tomura can be grateful for. Also an upgrade is the accompanying lack of general nausea; Tomura had mostly been putting that down to the chest wound.)

Or maybe it's not then.

Maybe it's when the kid criticizes his walking speed one too many times and Tomura finally snaps that he'd like to see him do half as well if he was the one who was stuck hobbling on one broken leg, and there's a beat of silence and a flicker of something in the kid's glaring red eyes before he sneers sullenly back that he fucking is. And then proceeds to walk on, barely limping, like the grind of bone-on-bone that has to be shooting up his nerve with every step he takes-- because it's definitely shooting up Tomura's right now-- is nothing.

Annoyed, is what Tomura eventually decides to label that feeling. Resentful, that the kid's showing him up.

Greed, perhaps, as well. He gets the same feeling when he sees the adverts for newer, better, faster GPUs than whatever the current model is Sensei has got running. If the kid was working with them, added that resilience and firepower and obstinacy to the League--

But neither greed or annoyance is quite it. There's something under both of these.

A nagging feeling of-- still annoyance, yes, but maybe not at the kid, so much as for him. Because the kid's, what, barely sixteen? And, sure, it's useful, recruitable, definitely, the near-machine-like competence, the perfection, the kid seems to demand of himself in everything he does (even heating his feet up; kid's still trying that each night and still sulking about not being able to). But what, exactly, is it that heroes do to their trainees, to instill this kind of efficiency? What kind of teachers do they have, to make them think they've somehow failed if they don't walk on broken bones like that's nothing? The kid's reflexes are good, yes, but was he born with them, or does UA hurt their students like Sensei hurts him, sometimes, to make him stronger? Do the kid's parents, for no reason at all?

(That's unlikely though. What had the kid said?

Unlike your dad, neither of my parents is a piece of shit.)

And maybe that's when it was. Maybe that's when this nagging feeling he can't really label started. When Tomura made that flippant, off-hand comment without thinking, and instead of laughing it off the kid-- Well, he'd said that.

Not, What did you do to deserve it.

Not, But you're probably lying.

Not, It's a pity he didn't beat you to death back then, because that would probably have solved one (future) nuked universe's worth of problems.

Not, But was there anything you could have done to avoid it? (Of course there was. It's not like not saying one word should have been all that hard when it was Father's only rule.)

The kid had said none of that.

Hadn't even looked like he'd wanted to.

Just-- Tomura's dad is a piece of shit, for no other reason than that when he was alive, he used to beat Tomura.

There'd been no doubt in the kid's unflinching gaze when he'd said it, either. He hadn't looked away. Hadn't sweated or fidgeted. He'd acted like he was just stating facts-- the sun is yellow, the sky is blue, and Tomura's dad sucked.

If it were someone--not Sensei, Sensei also says that and means it-- but like Sensei, who knows how to use words to make other people do what they want, Tomura might have wondered if the kid was just saying it to get on Tomura's good side. This is Bakugou though, and the brat wouldn't know what diplomacy was if it kicked him in the face.

If anything, far from milking him for extra information, the kid had seemed genuinely stuck as to what he was supposed to do when Tomura had offered that extra information.

And why did he offer it, Tomura wonders. That's the mystery, isn't it?

Because even Sensei doesn't know-- Tomura hopes Sensei doesn't know-- that Tomura used to run around with a cape with other kids saying 'I am here,' back when he'd been young and stupid and thought All Might was the coolest hero in the world, and someone who'd one day do something about Father. Before he learned that All Might was never going to come, and that Grandma picking All Might over Father and abandoning Father like trash was the reason Tomura was beaten in the first place.

So maybe that's when it started.

Or maybe not. Maybe the nagging feeling that's not quite annoyance was already there even then.

Whenever it started, it's here, now.

It's here, grating at him, in the dark when he can't see without the kid's light. In the endless tunnels and crisscrossing side passages that the kid leads them through like he has a blueprint or a compass engraved in his brain. It's there when Tomura disintegrates the garbage by accident touching it, and the kid never lets him sort through it again. It registers when Tomura limps too obviously, and a vein in the kid's temple starts twitching. When Tomura's neck starts seeping, and when the kid eyes it like it's personally offended him and starts snapping a sharp, "Stop scratching, loser," whenever Tomura's fingers twitch in his neck or wrist's general direction.

There's a common factor:

It comes whenever he can't do something the kid can, and whenever the kid drives home the fact a little harder, a little closer to home, that Tomura isn't needed, is the delaying factor here, is the extra in this party.

It's--

He wants more than to be helped.

He wants more than to be saved.

He wants more than to need the kid to be alive to live himself.

He wants--

Respect.

He has a horrible suspicion that that's what he wants.

Respect, from a student he wants to recruit precisely because said student respects no one.

But it's not his fault. It's the kid's fault, because Bakugou's the one who started this with his belligerent version of Kurogiri's much plainer "You should look after your health, young master", right from the moment he first cauterized those wounds and didn't leave Tomura to rot. And while the fact that the kid thinks he needs to look out for him isn't necessarily a bad thing (if he can get the kid used to looking out for him, maybe the kid will stick with him and agree to be his permanent bodyguard when they're out of here) Tomura has a nagging certainty that the kid won't. That maybe for the kid, this isn't personal. That while Tomura-- illogocally-- may feel like he can sleep if he knows the kid's keeping watch (because post the spider-hybrid thing, the kid doesn't let so much as a rat make it past him when he keeps lookout)-- Where Tomura, worse, has started to find that when they do fight monsters, he doesn't feel the need to look behind him if the kid's got his back because if the kid's got his back, nothing's getting through that wall-- that Tomura is, in return, possibly just being looked at as--

No one special. As just any other civilian. As just another person the kid would do this for, because the kid's been trained to do this for anyone.

It's unwelcome.

He doesn't want to be just another civilian.

He kidnapped the kid because he genuinely wanted him on his side, not just any student, and he has a horrible suspicion that he might actually sort of like the prickly, prideful brat as a person and not just a stat sheet. He wants the kid to be sticking with him because the kid sees him as more than a random person in trouble, too.

If that is what the feeling is, though, how does he kill it? Because Sensei would never, ever feel like that.

Sensei wouldn't stop him because Sensei never stops him from doing or having anything he wants, but Sensei would look into his heart and see the weakness there and Sensei would disapprove.

Tomura disapproves too.

None of it changes the nagging feeling of--

Is there a name for this feeling?

Of half hoping the kid will get attacked by something he can't beat just so Tomura can do something he'll have no choice but to appreciate?

Of wanting the kid to start taking him seriously and to stop treating him like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum?

He wants the kid to tell him why his reflexes are so good; if the kid ever wonders, like Tomura wonders, whether or not anyone on the outside is even missing them while they wander lost here.

He wants the kid to sleep properly when he's keeping watch, too-- wants the brat to ask him to keep watch, period, because it's not like he can offer, he's a villain, but he'd let himself be talked into it, and just because he isn't offering doesn't mean he's going to let anything that isn't him kill the brat. He wants the brat to get that, too, instead of doing what he's currently doing, which is working on a max of three hours sleep, propped with his back against a wall like he doesn't trust something won't try chewing on it if he leaves it exposed, starting to attention with a reflexive snarl whenever anything scrapes or splashes or slithers in the dark, hands red-white and two seconds away from blasting nothing in nothing's indifferent face.

There's no reason the kid should feel safe just because a villain has his back, it's true. But there's no reason a villain should feel safe just because a hero has his back, either, and Tomura has somehow formed that terrible habit just fine.

It's a problem, how fast it's happened.

It's a problem it's happened at all.

Maybe it's because he doesn't socialise with anyone but Sensei and Kurogiri unless he's hiring them, even then it's not like he actually hangs out with them long enough to exchange tragic backstories, or have them tell him his dad was shit. The longest he's hung out with anyone in the last ten years is the handful of days he spent with the LOV, plotting the kidnapping and monologing after.

Tomura misses the LOV, too.

Reminds him of playing in the park as a kid, the few days he'd spent with them. Maybe nobody ever gave a shit about each other, not really, but running around with other people, having them listening to you, cooperating with you--

It's different than Sensei.

With Sensei, Tomura feels special. Singled out for greatness.

With the LOV who don't listen, don't belong, were rejected by Society, too, for not being what it wanted them to be, or just because they liked killing things a bit too much and didn't have self discipline or good quirks that let them do that as heroes--

Tomura feels like an older brother with seven or eight younger siblings to look after. Tired, harassed, but also, on some level-- at least for the ones who came back from the kidnapping; who he was stuck in the same bar as for two days-- responsible for them.

He is responsible for them, isn't he?

It's not like the rest of the LOV have a plan for bringing down Society properly. Not like he does.

Even if they don't understand that they need him, even if he didn't come back from the earthquake either, he's their boss, he's the reason they're getting gear, the reason they might one day even get paychecks, and it wouldn't kill them to look for him anyway instead of abandoning him.

Even if all of this is a plan to make him stronger, it wouldn't kill Sensei to have sent even just a nomu for him.

It wouldn't--

"Stop scratching, loser," Bakugou snaps, glaring at him balefully from where he's boiling water.

Why?

It's not like it'll kill him.

It's not the kid'll let it kill him, will he?

"Make me," Tomura sneers, lifting his chin challengingly, because--

Well, why not?

Nothing else today's working. Tomura's running on maybe 1/5th HP, but the kid can't be doing that much better with a broken leg and basically no sleep.

Nothing will change if Tomura loses (kid won't do him permanent damage, not when he'll be the one stuck nursing him if he does), but if he wins, maybe the brat will finally look at Tomura with something in those red eyes that isn't perpetual indifference, scorn, or annoyance.

The nagging feeling likes that idea.

~Ten minutes later~

"I hate you," Tomura sighs, from where he's being pinned by one smugly triumphant, bratty teen who has both his wrists pinned, a piece of duct tape twisted around two of Tomura fingers on each hand, and one knee on the good side of Tomura's chest.

He wishes it was true.

He wants it to be true.

The nagging feeling is having a flare-up.

Badly.

Tomura isn't weak, not even like this, not really. He can kill most things fine. Unfortunately, Bakugou hits like a nomu and if he knows what the words 'holding back' mean, the little shit certainly doesn't show it.

He even aims for Tomura's bad leg when he propels himself forward to kick him in the shins, and Tomura's bad arm is burning. Tomura believes every rumor he's ever heard of what the kid was like in middle school.

The kid doesn't give a shit at all that he won this way, Tomura can tell. In the dull glow of light cast by the kid's hands-- the hand that's not pinning his wrists, that is hovering an inch from his face-- he can see the kid's eyes are shining, infuriatingly smug.

Can you want to kill someone and grudgingly admire someone and be plotting how you can make them like you, too, all at the same time?

Is that what this feeling is?

It's-- annoying.

Tomura's annoyed. He's also annoyed by the lack of concern he's feeling, period, about a sweaty hand coated with nitroglycerin-like fluid an inch away from his head, because while his brain has no problem pointing out the fact that the kid can probably melt his eyes at this range if he gets off a good blast, his adrenaline isn't even spiking.

If he notices, Bakugou doesn't show it or comment.

Too busy being--

Smug?

No, happy.

Kid is happy, isn't he? Genuinely happy, as much as smugly triumphant does equate to being happy.

He's got a broken leg, they're who-knows-where in a labyrinthine sewer and neither of them have washed for weeks, and the kid's happy because he got to blast another human being in the face.

(That's a lie though. The brat isn't happy because of that. He wasn't happy for the whole of the Sports Festival and he got to do that the whole way through. Kid's he's happy he won, that's literally all it takes to please him. Tomura could lose Uno and get that look, provided he didn't pull a cheap move like letting the kid win. He could lose monopoly and get that look. The kid wasn't kidding about wanting to be a hero because he enjoys winning, was he?)

"Own defeat, fucker," the kid orders.

Tomura is still working out if he can get the duct tape off, thank you, he's not quite done yet.

If the kid hadn't grown up watching All Might win, Tomura wonders-- if Society hadn't brainwashed the kid, taught him to associate heroes with victory and villains with defeat-- would the kid be less hostile to becoming a villain? Would he be agreeing to help bring down Society together now?

And, on a more shallow note: Is this why Sensei enjoys giving him presents? Did Tomura's eyes light up like that, too, when he was sixteen?

Will the kid's eyes be as apathetic as Tomura's are when the kid reaches his age, assuming nobody like Sensei or Tomura murders him before then?

Tomura feels that annoying, nagging feeling spike.

"Fine. Get off, brat," Tomura commands sulkily, giving the kid a shove, tapping out so to speak, because it's not like being pinned is helping him solve his current problem. "I will not intentionally scratch my neck for the rest of today. Tomorrow is a different story. Tomorrow if you try this again I will hold your head under in the sump pit until you choke on sewage and die."

Annoyingly, the kid just snorts.

He does stop pinning him though; rises fluidly, and limps back over to where he's cooking-- something (probably insects or rats) and pokes the sharp piece of tin he's using as a knife in Tomura's general direction.

"Accept it, loser: You ain't dying of a shitty infection till I drag your scrawny ass back to Tartarus, so stop fuckin' trying. Neither of us're dying in this shithole. You already made Wisdom and Charisma dump stats. No need to make Intelligence a dump stat too. Ain't a crime to have one mental stat in the positives."

Smug little shit.

Repellent, cussing hell-spawn.

Tomura is extremely charismatic, thank you, and his wisdom is just fine.

Still...

Neither of us're dying in this shithole.

Tomura stiffly sits up and glares at the kid for a while.

It's irrational, that he's reassured.

It's irrational, but...

Even if Sensei's not looking--

Even if the LOV have found a new figurehead--

Even if everyone died in that earthquake--

Neither of us're dying in this shithole.

"If neither of us are dying, brat," Tomura starts (annoyingly, the kid isn't even looking at him; eyes on his hands, whatever he's doing down there, casting dark flashing shadows on the walls) "then you should consider sleeping for more than two hours a day while I keep watch."

The kid's knife-thing stills, and the look that Tomura gets is pure venom.

"The fuck I should. I got this shit just fine, I don't need help from anyone, 'specially not you."

This is where niceness gets you.

No wonder Sensei doesn't like him trying it.

"I didn't say you needed it, brat," Tomura says, persisting anyway, because he's started down this dark and unrewarding road, so he might as well get to the end of it. "I'm not even going to insult you by suggesting that you want it. I'm simply informing you-- as the person who didn't make intelligence their dump stat-- that since I need you to be alive for me to make it out of here, I'm unlikely to kill you if you do try to get more than three hours of broken sleep each day. And since I am also going to recruit you, I'm not going to let anything else kill you that isn't me, either."

"Like you could watch out for shit. Villains here fuckin' creep, and you can't even see."

Galling, the condescending scorn in the kid's voice.

Like he really thinks Tomura is helpless.

"Perhaps not. But I can disintegrate you a cell-sized hole in a non-load-bearing part of the wall. I can even sit in front of the only entrance so that nothing can creep past to find you without touching and alerting me. Unless--" Tomura remembers the way the kid jerks upright out of sleep sometimes, eyes vacant, hands blazing; feels his gaze turning thoughtful, maybe a bit curious-- "you don't like enclosed spaces? Is that the problem? Some sort of trauma regarding being trapped?"

It's not impossible. They did put him in a marble to kidnap him, didn't they?

The kid's whole face is twisting with outrage, like Tomura's just thrown his pet into a fire.

"Fuck you, I could sleep in your shitty hole if I wanted to, I don't have a problem with 'enclosed spaces', and I ain't been traumatized by shit."

"If you want me to believe you, then prove it," Tomura taunts, narrowing his eyes challengingly.

There's a beat of silence.

Maybe the kid's picked up on the fact that he's being baited.

Maybe he's just trying to work out which will dent his pride less-- a villain thinking he's traumatized, or tolerating working with one. Working with one more, anyway.

Tomura wonders again, watching him, what kind of brainwashing has Society given the kid-- who in society (his teachers? Parents? The news? Or just All Might's ever-present, perpetual, smiling invincibility?) has taught the kid to think this way-- to make him so convinced that being traumatized (if he is) is a weakness and a problem, a thing to hide and mind, instead of just one more fact of life-- like needing to eat or sleep or log in at certain hours of the day to get your free points and items in the games you play-- that just needs to be worked around and accepted and allowed for because it happens to everyone.

It's a full thirty seconds before the kid resumes cutting.

"Fine. I'll prove it, loser. But you better not make me a shitty wet hole with maggots in it, you better not collapse this shitty sewer on top of us, and if you're as shitty at bein' a lookout as you are at being a villain and another villain gets you, assuming all of you ain't eaten, what's left of you's fuckin' dead."

If that did happen, being ended by you would be the least of my concerns.

That's what he should say.

That's the rational thing to say.

"Cute, brat, that you care," is what slips out instead.

In hindsight, he probably should have picked a time Bakugou wasn't disemboweling rodents to voice that bit of wishful thinking, because while he can't confirm it in this light, that 'splat' feels suspiciously like Tomura's just taken a handful rat guts to the face.

Chapter Text

Underground Sewage Network - 13(?) Days Post The Kamino Disaster

So, Katsuki can allow, he's probably a little bit tired. He was tired before he was kidnapped, he didn't get much sleep when he was stuck in that shitty chair, and he sure as fuck ain't sleeping well in this sewer.

Doesn't mean he wants to crawl into the shitty hole Hands has hollowed out for him-- small entrance, curving out to something inside that he probably, yes, could sit up in without splitting his head open (because Hands thinks he needs that, dumb fucker, Katsuki could sleep in a coffin, thank you) where the only way out is past Hands.

But, he's not a traumatized loser, so Katsuki does, after eyeballing the shitty thing for a bit, slide in.

And it's not too bad, objectively. Objectively, entrance is waist-high, so it's not wet, and it's a big enough hole that he can sleep spreadeagled, not that he needs that either. If the sewer was a hotel, this shitty hole'd be the VIP suite. All it's missing is a pillow, and, no, Hands, Katsuki ain't using the ashes of the dead as a pillow. Yes, they'd work, but they don't need being made into a pillow on top of being dead, Katsuki has standards. And anyway, unlike Hands, Katsuki's gonna have to write up a mission report for this shit and he ain't putting that down when he does. If Hands wants to make him a pillow out of ashes, Hands can go disintegrate a few more bags of rubbish and collect those ashes like regular, dead-respecting people would.

So, yeah, objectively, it's fine.

Subjectively, it's shit. He feels trapped, like he can't fly out or up if he needs to, and his chest feels weird and tight, and honestly he'd have preferred the broken sleep but fuck subjective, subjective can eat shit and die, Katsuki's fucking got this.

He doesn't do anything embarrassing.

He doesn't black out. Nothing's weird with his breathing. Doesn't blast the roof in or stick his head out like he does when he sleeps in a sleeping bag so he can hear properly and the air doesn't feel as stifling.

Maybe he doesn't sleep much, but who gives a shit? He probably got some that he's just not remembering, that's normal.

Just a normal, boring, shitty hole, to match the rest of this normal, boring, shitty sewer.

Hands kinda looks at him odd when he slides himself out four hours later and tells the loser he slept fucking peachy. Katsuki doesn't have a clue why, not really. Doesn't give a fuck either. Hard to give a fuck about anything with a headache trying to split his head in two, and a brain that feels like it's filtering all his thoughts through sludge.

Whatever.

So what if he feels like the human caterpillar looks on a regular basis? The human caterpillar deals and so will Katsuki.

Maybe he snaps a bit more than Hands probably deserves the next day, gets madder than he should at little things like the fact that the fucking loser won't stop scratching, but it's got nothing to with being tired or with that shitty hole, he just has a shitty temper, that's all. Ask Shitty-hair. Ask stupid Deku. Ask anyone in Class 1-A. Ask anyone, period. Nobody who knows Katsuki thinks he's a nice person.

They're closer to the exit.

Neither of them are dead yet.

Hands' neck doesn't look like it'll kill him.

Katsuki's headache won't kill him either.

It's fine, they are fine, it's all fucking peachy.

Hands can stop side-eyeing him like he wants to say shit and isn't cuz Katsuki's got this.

Maybe he's operating on auto-pilot a bit, spaces out a bit when he does shit like boil water or cook that's mindless and boring, but Katsuki's a well-calibrated, magnificently oiled machine and his auto-pilot trashes everyone else's manual and leaves them eating its dust.

"How far are we away from the exit?" Hands asks, around lunch time, while Katsuki's cooking stew.

"Fuck knows."

"...You're not leading us back to the lair, are you?" Hands says slowly.

"Just figured that out, did ya? Should chalk it up as a record in quick thinking. Only took six days for one logical thought to process."

"You realise that if you had led us back there, we-- yes, we, I would have ordered it for both of us, you repellent little spitfire, there's no need to look so dubious-- would be eating protein shakes and pizza right now instead of boiled sewage and rat guts?"

"Want another kick in your shitty broken leg?" Katsuki checks, glancing up from rat chunks to glare at him.

He gets a sour look and no reply, which is a shame. Katsuki's in the mood to beat up something, and Hands has an annoying habit of disintegrating the shit that attacks them before Katsuki's got the chance to fire off more than one or two measly blasts.

Later, when Hands decides they both need to rest (fuck Hands, Katsuki doesn't, he's fine), Hands doesn't suggest making a hole. He suggests camping in a corner instead. It's shitty and damp, but it's open on two sides and above, and Katsuki can already tell he'll be able to hear and feel the vibration of anything moving even in his sleep if anything does sneak up on them. And, sure, Katsuki does like the idea of it better than that shitty hole, but he isn't sure if he's pleased or offended that Hands might have noticed that.

He's leaning towards offended.

"Don't give me that look. It has nothing to do with your A+ night's sleep last night," Hands sneers, and the fact that he's saying that at all makes it a fucking lie. "We're resting because my leg is hurting, and because I disintegrated three 30m-long acid-dripping, 200-eyed slugs today, my quirk is strained and I'm not up to creating you a room."

Whiny little shit. Katsuki's leg's hurting, too, and his quirk hasn't quit aching for days cuz it doesn't like being used constantly (more of a sprinter than a marathoner, or maybe just a snob that feels it was born for a higher purpose in life than being used as a flash light) but he ain't listening to what the shitty nerves that live in his leg and his arms are trying to tell him. Ignore things that annoy you long enough, and unless their name is shitty Deku, they eventually fuck off and leave you alone.

"And since I'm not," Hands is bullshitting on, "you'll be making do with the corner."

"If your quirk's that sore, why don't you rest first, fucker? Sounds like you need that shitty corner more than I do," Katsuki scoffs, gesturing generously towards it.

Hands makes an impatient movement, like he'd like to be strangling him. Katsuki sneers more, cuz he sees straight through the loser, he can detect people being nice like Icyhot can sniff out cold soba, and it's Katsuki who's looking out for Hands' loser ass in here, thanks, it ain't Hands with his bad arm, bad neck, bad leg and bad side who has any right to be worrying about Katsuki.

"Do you actually want me to create you a second hole, brat?" Hands demands, abandoning his D- bullshitting attempts, sounding two shades off from Done.

"Why the fuck wouldn't I?"

"I don't know. It's not like you're doing what any sensible person would and telling me, is it?"

Hands sounds accusing, like it's Katsuki who's somehow being the unreasonable one in this shitty conversation.

Katsuki pops an intimidating crackle of tiny explosions, just in case Hands has forgotten Katsuki can and will wipe the floor with him.

"Cuz there's nothing to fucking tell."

"Clearly there is, and I am not making another one," Hands sneers, lip curling. "Suck it up and deal with it. If you want to sulk, sulk about it while you lie down and get some actual sleep instead of throwing a tantrum about the fact that unlike your precious UA, I don't make a habit of torturing and humiliating 16-year-olds. It's not like not liking dark holes matters, if that's your concern. Everyone has things they don't like. Sensei has nightmares about people charging at him with their entrails spilling out. I don't like dogs who frolic up to me and want me to pat them because they are too stupid to know they'll melt into chunks if I do that. I don't like seeing All Might's annoying, perpetual smile, and I don't like not having my hands on me. You don't like being trapped in dark holes that smell like sludge. It's normal not to like things. Just because you can deal with things you don't like doesn't mean you should ever have to."

Katsuki glares at Hands some more, and tries to decide if he's going to melt the loser's face in or not, cuz, tantrum? Sulking?

From Hands?

The fucking hypocrite.

Also:

"If you wanna pet puppies so much, loser, why don't you just stick on a pair of gloves?"

"I don't want to talk about it. See how easy that was to say, brat? I'm not even breaking a sweat. Corner. Now."

Katsuki glares some more.

On the one hand: Katsuki is in charge here, and tired or not, he ain't taking orders from a loser who's the head of the LOV (or maybe just the head of their HR office-- Katsuki's getting less and less sure each day about whether it's Hands or Hands' nomu breeder who's actually the one running that show.)

On the other hand: Hands is being weird. Katsuki knows for a fact that if he told Aizawa-sensei he had a problem with being trapped in dark holes, the first thing Sensei would do is trap him in a dark hole or make him sleep in a locked coffin for however long it took him to get over the shitty weakness, cuz Sensei is a tough bastard and a fucking badass and UA doesn't tolerate limits. (Look at the finals-- Katsuki ain't dumb, he fucking knows Sensei only lumped him with shitty Deku cuz Sensei knows Katsuki hates shitty Deku's guts.)

Hands, though, kinda sounds like he might be saying scoring less than 100% at life isn't a problem.

Katsuki doesn't really get it, but he supposes it makes sense if the villains set the bar lower than UA does. Explains why they always fuckin' lose.

"This isn't a negotiation, brat, so you can stop glaring at me like that will change anything. I am telling you now, I will not be making more of them, not now, not ever, so if you want to sleep, from here on out, corners are the best you are going to get. Suck it up and sleep."

Asshole.

Katsuki wants to blast his shitty face in.

Doesn't change the fact that a shitty part of him's a tiny bit relieved.

Fuck, can he just blast Hands in the face anyway for that?

No, cuz rationally, you don't blast the injured loser you're doing your best to save unless he starts the fight, and Katsuki has gotta sleep at some point to get them both out.

So-- fine.

Fine, if holes are off the table, then Katsuki will, after an appropriate number of minutes, just to make it clear he ain't taking orders here, stomp over and go lie down in the shitty corner, back to the wall, and pillow his head on his arm and try to get some sleep.

Tired's the wrong word for what he feels. He passed 'tired' and kicked it to the curb sometime days ago, and now he just feels keyed up, angry, and like he wants to blow shit up. Maybe Hands. Maybe a slime. Katsuki isn't picky right now. He needs to sleep, he does, but--

It's just fucking weird.

Whole shitty, fucked up situation is weird.

Sure, Hands has his shitty recruitment campaign going, but even if Hands wants to make himself the meat shield for this shitty corner so Katsuki won't get chomped on sleeping, it doesn't make sense that he's telling Katsuki more of his weaknesses just so Katsuki will cooperate. Doesn't make sense for anyone to say being weak is okay, period. It ain't, and if you are you hide it, you don't tell people your weaknesses, not your parents, not your allies, not your teachers, not your friends if you have any, and definitely not your enemies. Not even when you're a hero and definitely not when you're a fucking villain and the person you're telling is the future number one who's going to use it against you eventually.

Hands does know that Katsuki will, right?

"I know you're awake, brat," Hands says, sounding sour.

"...So?"

"So sleep. Nothing is going to get you while I am here."

"For someone who says he hates All Might, that shit sure sounds a lot like you're quoting him, loser," Katsuki sneers accusingly.

There's a short, stilted pause. Hands's sucking calming breaths in through his teeth, and sounding like he's trying not to lose it.

"Channelling your inner 5-year-old, are ya?" Katsuki persists.

"I will throttle you one of these days, brat."

"Ain't a no."

"That day might easily be today."

"Still ain't a no."

There's a scraping sound, like Hands is groping for a rock, and then a peeved hiss when-- based on the lack of rocks being sent in Katsuki's direction-- the he fails to find one.

Fuckin' loser. Katsuki wonders if that means that on some level-- a twisted one, and way deep down-- that there's a genetic part of Hands he got from his grandma that still wants to make other people's lives less shitty, despite his current job. Wonders if in his weird, messed-up head, Hands thinks he's saving himself, or kids like him, on some level, if he nukes the universe. No more anyone means no more anyone having to end up like him. Sort of dumb logic the fucker would use.

"I could monologue, if that would help you sleep."

"Tempting, loser, but shitty logic makes me mad, not sleepy, no matter how boring it is."

Hands makes an irritated noise. Maybe a huff.

A few more minutes tick on by.

"I could recite books or video game plots."

"...Hah?" Katsuki checks, semi-hostilely, because what the fuck?

"You heard me," Hands says, a bit defensively.

"Tell me you ain't offering to read me bedtime stories right now," Katsuki says flatly.

"Why not? Sensei used to read them to me back when I was six and having nightmares. It helps, having something to distract you."

"When you're six it does, yeah."

"You aren't acting much older right now."

"I'm acting my age just fine, fucker. You're the one being fucking weird. The fuck do you wanna be my meat shield anyway?"

"I am not," Hands snarls, sounding peeved, "your meat shield. Nothing is getting my meat because nothing can without being disintegrated. I am sitting here because you are in my party, and though it may come as a shock to you, heroes aren't the only ones who know how to look out for their parties. The League looks out for all of its members, present and future."

"Tell that shit to the 30 minions you left for dead in USJ, too?" Katsuki says cynically.

"You're very, very lucky there's nothing hard or sharp within reach I can feel to throw at you right now, brat. All the members with good quirks, skill, and an actual future, then. Happy?"

"So what you're saying is, if I had zero potential cuz an acid slime had melted off my hands today, you'd dump my ass and can your shitty job offer in the trash?" Katsuki says, deciding to be a little shit about this, just cuz he can. "You're tempting me to limp back there and see if there's any slime left for me to do that with, y'know."

"Be my guest, brat. Your precious UA will dump you in a heartbeat if you lose your quirk, so your hero career would be ruined. You'd have no choice but to come with me if you wanted to win and murder things, because it wouldn't make a difference to me. I would just source you a pair of artificial hands, and if your current quirk didn't work with them, I would get Sensei to give you a new quirk, which I'm sure-- being as diligent are you are irritating-- you would be able to train up and murder things with just as effectively as you can with your current one."

Fuck Hands for assuming that just because Katsuki's hero career bit the dust he'd lower himself to becoming a shitty villain. He'd get an MBA and take over the family fashion empire, thank you, he'd rake in millions and he'd murder society with fashion designs instead of explosions because his outfit's the coolest outfit in Class 1-A and his clothes would be the coolest clothes in Musutafu.

At the same time, Katsuki's feeling weirdly flattered here, despite Hands' shitty assumptions, because that sounds a lot like 'We want you for you not your quirk', and even shitty Deku wouldn't stick to Katsuki if Katsuki didn't have a good quirk to win with, and Deku's the most stalkery, sticky little shit Katsuki knows.

Still. Flattered or not, Katsuki kinda feels himself going a bit rigid here, because--

"You can't fuckin' give quirks," Katsuki says flatly.

Can you?

"Sensei can," Hands says, dismissively. "You think the nomu were born with multiple quirks?"

Katsuki processes that one for a bit. Churns the thought over, a bit sluggishly.

Weirdly, he's thinking of Deku again.

Shitty, not-quirkless, stupid Deku, chasing him down on the worst day of Katsuki's life-- the day Katsuki lost in front of All Might.

What had Deku said back then? Something about being given his quirk, and not being able to tell who gave it to him?

At the time, Katsuki-- understandably-- put it down to Deku bein' a wimp and a fucking liar who still wanted to be friends or something and was trying to dodge Katsuki rightfully hating him for life, cuz if Deku could get given quirks, Deku'd have got one years ago, right? Little shit used to get yelled at by Auntie Inko every other month for sneaking her credit card and ordering any and every quirk supplement he sniffed out an advert for online. Those quacks made thousands off shitty Deku, and 20% of the population is like shitty Deku. Quirklessness wouldn't be a thing if giving people quirks was a thing you could actually do, and why would you waste your life being a villain if your quirk was giving quirks? However you marketed it, that shit would make you millions.

But-- Fuck. If giving quirks is a thing (and it is, apparently, cuz, nomus) then was the shitty nerd not lying about not having treated Katsuki like an idiot by lying about his quirklessness for 11 years?

Does Katsuki need to go back to feeling bad about being an absolute bastard to the person who rushed their nerdy ass out to try-- emphasis on the try, Deku didn't actually do shit, he'd have got his nerdy ass flattened if All Might hadn't been there-- to save him from a sludge monster?

Fuck, Katsuki doesn't want to. Those last 10 months of middle school fuckin' sucked.

Finding out shitty Deku had a quirk he'd happily use to save Round-face or to score better than Katsuki did on that shitty baseball toss but didn't use to try to save Katsuki from a fucking sludge monster-- not that Katsuki needed saving, he had that, but if Deku was gonna rush out at all, why the fuck wouldn't he rush out with shit that might actually work?-- had sucked, yeah, but going back to being able to hate Deku for being an annoying little shit without his conscience giving him shit about it definitely hadn't.

Double fuck: If Deku got his quirk from someone, did he get that quirk from Hands' shitty Sensei?

Hands cornered Deku in a shopping centre, right? Asked him for life advice, like the creepy loser he is.

And Katsuki knows Deku'd have traded his dumb, nerdy soul for a quirk.

Did Hands' shitty Sensei--?

That's fucking dumb though, Katsuki reassures himself. If Deku was born with a quirk he wouldn't need one from Hands' shitty Sensei, and if he wasn't, then Deku charged a sludge monster for the asshole who bullied him for 11 years and who told him to jump off a roof because Deku was born with a natural 20 on niceness and isn't a sub-6's shitty human being. Either way, there's no way Deku made a deal with Hands' shitty Sensei for a quirk. He got it from someone else if he got it from anyone at all. Probably. Has to have.

Fuck, Katsuki doesn't want to be thinking about this, he doesn't want to be thinking about stupid Deku now or at all.

"You're being very quiet," Hands accuses him.

Katsuki's tired and he's distracted. (Deku's fault.) Not his fault he's not coming up with anything suitably snippy right now.

"What's the matter, brat? Touched, that we'd want you even without your impressive stat sheet?"

"Shut up," Katsuki mutters.

"Will that make you more or less likely to sleep?"

Fuck if Katsuki knows.

If he knew why he couldn't sleep, he'd be fucking dealing with it, wouldn't he?

Hands is quiet for maybe ten more minutes.

Then he starts monolguing. Not about how Society and All Might suck, but how the developers of whatever shitty phone app game he's hooked on at the moment suck because they make you log on four times a day if you want free quirk points to spend on battles, and they're giving the hero units better quirks and ultimates than the villains and the bosses suck, they're OP, and his rank in the PvP is arena is probably falling because Kurogiri's probably too busy looking for him to remember to log into his account to play the game for him.

It's a dick move. Katsuki ain't played whatever it is, and it's boring as hell.

Katsuki doesn't make it 15 minutes before he zones out. Feels himself drifting somewhere in the fuzzy grey-zone of about-to-conk-out and actually doing that, cuz--

It's not that Katsuki feels safe sleeping with the loser watching him.

But, well, if Hands is talking then nothing's eating him, and he ain't moved or fallen asleep, has he?

That's probably it.

That's gotta be all this is.

Fuck, Sensei is gonna give him shit for this when he has to document this later, isn't he?

Landed himself here by getting captured in the first place, and now he's picking up fun, civilian-friendly habits like insomnia, being told bedtime stories by villains, and waking up blasting whatever's unlucky enough to touch him while he does sleep in the face.

Sensei's gonna give him shit regardless, even if Katsuki doesn't document this, if he can't get out of here before holidays end, cuz if Katsuki can't, he'll fall behind in his classes, and Sensei'll be stuck giving him remedial lessons until he catches up to wherever the rest of them are currently running on ahead, and then Sensei'll get even less sleep than the too-little he currently gets now.

Shit, Katsuki thinks, with fuzzy certainty: holidays or not, Deku is probably already getting ahead. All Might is probably giving his dumb ass tips and pep talks right now, and doesn't that make something hot and angry in Katsuki's stomach twist.

Whatever.

Who gives a shit?

Not Katsuki, that's who.

If they get ahead, he'll surpass them.

If they give him shit, he'll give them shit, too. If Sensei didn't want to give him remedial lessons, Sensei shoulda fuckin' looked for him, shouldn't he, and Katsuki'd like to see shitty Deku do half as well in this shitty sewer as he's doing. He'll give shit to whoever designed this place, too. There should be more manholes in these shitty sewers. There should also be lights and the occasional exit sign. Whoever designed it's a fucking loser who was clearly never dumped in it themselves.

"...whole system is skewed," Hands is up to, now. "The meta is as boring as it is unbeatable, and the whole system was designed with the whales in mind, forgetting that the rest of us have limited funding and don't even have the luxury of being krill..."

Hands is a dick, Katsuki thinks with fuzzy certainty, feeling himself being dragged back under, lulled back into the grey zone, cuz how the fuck is anyone supposed to stay awake through this?

If he ever quits being a villain, loser should start an ASMR sleep channel.

He'd be better at that than he is at being chaotic evil.

Maybe Katsuki'll teach him how to do that when they're out. Might visit him in prison sometimes, maybe. Be a fucking disaster, probably, but not like it can be worse than trying to teach shitty Deku how to skip stones when they were four.

Katsuki mumbles something to this effect, slurring horribly, probably incomprehensibly.

He drifts off before he hears whatever Hands has to say in reply.

Chapter Text

Underground Sewage Network - ???? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

Nothing much changes over the next couple of days, post that whole 'hole' fight.

The kid still eyes Tomura like he's the enemy for giving a shit about him.

Tomura still wants to know why the kid acts like that's such a foreign concept.

There are small changes, though. The kid will let himself hiss, occasionally, if he jars his bad leg. He comments once in passing that decomposing, bloated corpses smell like shit (they're up to number 15 now, and Tomura has a sneaking suspicion he saw at least two of those bodies in Sensei's lab a few months back, but he's not going to tell the kid that), and once, when Tomura asks him if that spray of acid he's cleaning off his forearm from the latest 30m slug hurt, the kid sends him a sour look and sneers, "You should know exactly how it feels, fucker, you mess up your hands often enough touching them."

Tomura's not sure, not really, if he's reading too much into things.

Maybe it's coincidence.

But on the other hand, maybe it's not.

(The nagging feeling he still can't name wants it to not be. It wants the kid to like Tomura, to feel safe enough to voice what he does and doesn't like to Tomura, because the nagging feeling is a little shit that way, annoying like the kid is, and is refusing to be poisoned or rooted out by sensible villain emotions like hate and rage and envy.)

(Tomura isn't telling the kid, he's not telling anyone, and he's definitely not telling Sensei.)

Underground Sewage Network - ????? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

Tomura notices it two hours into monologue 53.

There is a draft blowing.

It's distant, barely more apparent than the front of him being colder than normal and colder than his back, and its existence, under normal circumstances, wouldn't be a thing that pleased Tomura. Drafts are cold, they let in rain, and people outside can listen in at them because it's not like every criminal organisation has the budget for base-wide CCTV.

In here, though, drafts = exits, that's an equation even a nomu could solve, and right now Tomura is too relieved to even hate the Universe like it deserves for making them take so long to get to it.

(Not too much anyway. Not beyond the normal baseline of simmering hate.)

For once, he's in sympathy with his future minion's impatience over his lack of speed, because if his leg would just go faster--

No matter what size the hole actually is, Tomura is melting it to human size when they get to it.

"Yeah, yeah, I said I'd get us there, didn't I?" the kid snaps, perversely ungrateful, when Tomura finally does what the brat's been nagging him to do for days and speeds up. "I can feel it, too, but we're miles from it, so quit acting like a shitty Deku who's spotted an autograph lineup and stop trying to fucking run on that leg."

As if the kid isn't also walking faster, too.

Tomura sees straight through the brat.

"You ain't got shit to look forward to anyway except for fresh air, because the moment we're outta here I'm arresting your ass," the kid adds, glancing back at him.

"Fresh air is a sufficient incentive, brat."

"...Pampered loser," the kid mutters, unimpressed, returning to looking ahead.

Tomura doesn't even throw a rock at him for that comment, that's how not-miserable he's feeling right now.

There is a draft.

They're not dying here.

Tomura is going to see light again.

He's going to see Sensei again.

(He's also not going to prison, because maybe Bakugou won when Tomura was blind, but there's not the slightest chance he will be able restrain him when Tomura can see, and even if he could, the moment he's not actively pinning Tomura, Tomura will be free. They'd have to be unlucky enough to walk straight into a city street before the brat had a chance in hell of that happening, and if they were under a city, they'd be hearing things like cars by now, and someone would probably have noticed the daily explosions.)

Underground Sewage Network - ????? Days Post The Kamino Disaster - Later

Rest is a struggle.

Tomura doesn't want to rest, he wants to walk.

He wants to be out of the smell, out of the filth, and out of the dark.

He wants to see what he's stepping on instead of treading blindly wherever the kid did and hoping he won't stub his toes on rocks.

"We ain't having this discussion, loser. It'll be there whether you sleep or don't sleep, and you ain't gonna be able to hoof it for the three days it's gonna take us to get there without rest. Lights go out in five, Hands, so fuckin' use the five to get comfortable."

"How do you know it's three?"

"Cuz this ain't the first time I crawled around in caves, dumbass. UA makes us train for this shit. Unlike you villains, we don't chill and play video games whenever we're not on the job and just hope we'll magically know what to do when villains land us in shitty situations like this."

The brat isn't being fair.

It was the earthquake, not Tomura, who landed them here.

Tomura sleeps resentfully, restlessly, and takes vindictive pleasure in turning the brat's words against him when he tries to worm his way out of his own sleep the morning after because if Tomura has to suffer through gruelling wasted hours of sleep instead of moving then so should Bakugou, and anyway they had this fight just the other day about it not being fair that the brat is the only one who gets to do any fussing in here about people's bad life choices when it comes to their health.

"The fuck I do, I ain't the one with shitty, infected wounds."

"So what? Even when I'm healthy, Kurogiri doesn't let me play games for more than 48 hours because he says that I'm statistically likely to suffer from a heart attack if I do. I'm sure the same is true for walking in sewers. If we're three days out, you are resting too, and you can be miserable as well about the fact that while you are sleeping we're getting nowhere."

The sound Bakugou lets out is satisfyingly like a snorting bull.

"I'm gonna explode your fucking face in, loser."

"As if you would. You won't even let me scratch my neck. I'm not moving until you've slept, and if you try to shift me before you've had five hours, I'm disintegrating your death bag."

The aura of menace the kid's radiating would do Sensei proud, but he has this coming for making Tomura rest, so screw what the kid wants.

"I'll even monologue for you," Tomura adds in his best 'I'm being generous' voice, mostly just to be annoying.

The brat pops a series of crackling explosions.

Tomura's sure he should find that more intimidating than he does.

(He's sure he's meant to find it intimidating, period.)

"'League of Heroes,' or 'All Might sucks'? I've got five hours in me of both, brat."

"...You nag worse than my old man, you know that?" the kid scowls, after a while, throwing himself down in a ball of resentful annoyance. "You're lucky your HP levels are shit right now, or I'd fucking flatten you. Five hours starts now: Moment they're up, we're moving, and if you monologue about either of those topics, I'll fucking murder you." 

Tomura doesn't believe him.

There's no way the kid's killing him, and if he doesn't want bedtime stories, the brat should learn to sleep without them, shouldn't he?

It's not Tomura's fault all the brat will do is glare at him until Tomura monologues in a suitable monotone about something the kid doesn't give a shit about, is it?

Today's topic is about how gankers in a Legends Online need to have their IP addresses traced, a portal opened to where they live, and be decayed because ganking people in PVP ought to be a murderable offense.

Legends Online is not as successful as League of Heroes at boring the kid. Apparently, he's played it. Far from nodding off, the little shit has the gall to snort at how Tomura's glass cannon was ruthlessly chunked and says that being ganked just means Tomura's a shitty gamer.

Tomura really does consider melting the death bag for a few moments-- it's definitely what the kid deserves-- but he has a feeling the brat would get genuinely mad at him then.

Tomura does the next best thing instead for revenge and launches into a monologue about the tragic backstory he's invented for Mon, his assassin glass canon, and waxes poetic about and the various quests he'd like to complete with Mon and can't because it wouldn't be in-character, and that he therefore has to complete with his knight tank Hana instead to get the achievement trophies.

(The brat's eyes glaze over five minutes in, but he's clearly fighting sleep.

By minute fifteen, it's light's out, and the brat's snoring.)

Tomura smirks in the darkness.

Kid never stood a chance.

Underground Sewage Network - ?????? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

Near the end of day 2, when actual sounds start drifting in along with the wind-- a distant, muted roar, maybe wind or the sea echoing through the darkness-- the relief Tomura feels is crushing.

But there are other questions that are slowly starting to take shape, nagging under the relief.

Questions like:

• Who actually is going to be kidnapping who when they get out?
• Can Tomura resist arrest without accidentally disintegrating his future minion?
• Assuming Tomura wins, is Bakugou going to take it personally if Tomura murders any members of Society they come across while they're making their way back to the Lair?
• Assuming Tomura doesn't win, is Bakugou really going to put him in prison just because he killed some people and tried to kill some others? (It seems a bit uncalled for. It's not like he killed Bakugou.)

The nagging feeling doesn't like the answers Tomura's more practical villain logic is trying to feed it.

And so Tomura, possibly, ignores logic and redoubles his efforts at recruitment instead, because just because the brat hasn't sworn fealty yet doesn't mean he won't-- everyone who likes logic knows that extrapolation is the most unwise thing you can do when it comes to prediction-- and if the brat just joined him Tomura never would have to come up with acceptable answers to any of those things. (He also wouldn't need to worry about the nagging feeling, because there's nothing wrong with not hating the other people in your faction.)

"Fuck off, loser," is the unflattering reply to today's attempt-- a logical argument that if Bakugou joined him, Tomura would teach him how to play League of Heroes so that he stopped going to sleep when the subject came up, and as a double benefit he'd also have time to play it because unlike heroes, villains actually have free time. "I can download it myself if I wanna play it, I know how to work the fucking app store."

Screw the kid.

Screw the nagging feeling, too.

"It wouldn't kill you to pretend to be interested, you know," Tomura complains.

"What, in your shitty League of Heroes game?"

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"In my extremely flattering job offer, brat," Tomura hisses acidly.

The kid raises a condescending eyebrow.

"Didn't know you had one of those going, loser."

He ducks the rock Tomura throws at his head, and that's about all that can be said for day two.

Underground Sewage Network - ??????? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

On day three, Tomura-- and it's the kid's fault again, Tomura wants to be out of here just as badly as the kid does, anybody who says differently needs to die, but the kid shouldn't just let Tomura roll over in his sleep and treat him like Tomura's own, personal radiator if he wants Tomura to like the idea that he's going to be going back to a lonely, cold bar (or warehouse, is the bar even standing now?) with no one watching (or warming) his back when he's free-- stalls.

Rests more than he strictly needs to. (His leg is aching, it's not a lie.)

Pretends to be asleep longer than he actually is.

Fights with Bakugou so that he'll sleep properly, too, because that wastes twice the time.

The brat's not happy, not at all. He stops, but he sends Tomura a dark look when they do it for the third time in as many hours, and follows it up with a muttered: "Fuck, we'd be at that shitty exit if you just fucking walked faster. Wanted to bad enough two days ago, didn't you? It's a wonder you lot've even got time to wreck shit, the amount of time you seem to spend looking after your physical and mental health."

One: Tomura is offended.

Two: So what if Tomura is walking a bit slower than he really has to right now? It wouldn't kill the kid not to call him on it. It's not like the universe won't be around to be murdered later if he takes an extra day or so to get back to doing it.

"I suppose it would look like a lot to you, seeing as you're coming at things from a standpoint of spending zero on either," Tomura snaps a bit tartly, definitely not defensively.

Bakugou lifts his chin in a way that can only be described as arrogant, leaning back a bit more comfortably against the slimy wall behind him like he's somehow been given a compliment.

"You betcha, fucker. And there's no need look at me like that about it. Not like we'd need therapy-- physical or mental-- if you lot didn't keep fuckin' kidnapping us or trying to murder us or actually murdering other people in front of us, so there's an easy solution if you actually give a shit. Ain't like we got time to wallow in how we feel about the shit you villains do when you're out there keeping on fuckin' doing it is it? If you're upset we ain't looking after ourselves, stop giving us shit to look after."

Tomura clenches his hands into fists, and slowly, slowly straightens them.

This is clearly a fruitless discussion that's going nowhere.

How the hell is he supposed to end the universe if he needs to worry about things like that?

The villains look after themselves just fine. Mostly. They deal with the scars Society gives them, because it's not like Society ever stops or changes what it does. It's not unreasonable that the heroes should be expected to deal with things, too, at least up until he murders them.

Most of them.

Is there a way in his Grand Future for it to be a 'most'?

Tomura abandons that train of thought in favor of petulantly massaging his bad leg, four-fingered.

The kid doesn't seem inclined to let it go.

Just glowers down at him resentfully, maybe a bit frustrated.

"I am not going to stop trying to kill Society just to make your life easier, brat, so you can stop looking at me like that," Tomura snaps eventually, glaring, when the kid keeps glowering at him.

"It ain't a question of easier, dumbass. It's a question of 'what's the fucking point'? Murdering heroes I get. We're the fucking best, so of course you're gonna try to fight us cuz fighting us is actually fun. What the fuck do ya get out of sending your shitty nomus out to trash cars or apartments that shitty extras with 10 HP worked twenty years for to pay off, that half of 'em won't be able to replace in their lifetimes cuz their insurance companies are going under? They ain't a challenge, and it ain't like they're out there being weepy little shits trying to pretend they're heroes and stopping you from punching up the heroes."

('Fun.' Why, why, why is the kid so set on pursuing a hero degree?)

"I'm not stepping on them because it's fun. I'm stepping on them because I hate them."

"You ain't even met them, loser, unless you get outta whatever shithole you live in a lot more often than your skin says you do."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

(He wants to scratch, is itching to, but the brat's just going to snap at him if he does.)

"I don't need to. I've seen them on the news, and I see them in the shopping malls. They're happy. They're parasites. They live their lives smiling, feeding on heroes and stepping on villains, being carried on All Might's back, and they don't give a shit that people like us suffer to keep them that way."

"Why the fuck does it matter whether or not they give shit? You don't even like 'em."

In.

Out.

In.

"You seriously trying to tell me that if they all went around being weepy shits asking you if you needed help getting out of rivers or cars or out of fucking bed in the morning and trailing after you like ducklings feeling sorry for you all the time, that'd make you wanna kill 'em less?" 

"There is a happy medium, brat, between that and complete, selfish indifference to any lives but their own," Tomura snaps.

"There's a happy medium between genocide and being a doormat who just forgives assholes for treating you like shit when you should be hating them for life for it, but I don't see you aiming for it."

"If you agree that I'm allowed to hate them for life, then why don't I get to kill them? Why do they get to be happy when I never did? Why do they get to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing and go on with their busy ant-like lives, working and retiring and dying happy deaths surrounded by loved ones, when they left me on the streets to starve cold and miserable and alone? Indifference isn't a crime, you say, but indifference was the weapon they used that nearly killed me, and not one of them is ever going to feel sorry for that unless I make them."

The kid tilts his head slightly to one side.

"It occur to you anywhere in that messed up brain of yours you that if you want people to be sorry, you gotta have people left?"

I will strangle you

I will murder you

"I'm not after that. Society isn't capable of it, I accepted that years ago. The only thing they care about is themselves, so I will make them sorry for themselves since they will never be sorry for what they did to me, and I will make them miserable and leave them all with nothing, because that's exactly what they left me."

"Or ya could go to jail, get out in ten years if you got a good lawyer, and start a demolition business or hazardous solid waste disposal empire or a non-recyclables disposal empire. They'd pay you to nuke shit, you could make millions, hire a few thousand employees, argue with unions all day, and spend your free time commissioning statues of yourself, cuz you seem like the type who would. Give it 50 years, and you'll die in a nice, warm hospital bed in a non-nuked universe, with a bunch of employees shitting themselves to make you happy so they'll be the one you leave your conglomerate to when you die and maybe some actual friends."

Tomura sucks in a calming breath, trying to quench the burning rage.

It's not really working.

His hands are itching and Tomura vision is clouding red with it.

"Geez, with choices like that, why wouldn't you go with the option that ends with you either dying cold and alone in prison or dying cold and alone of starvation in a nuked universe?"

"Shut up."

"Fucking familiar end, ain't it?"

"Shut. Up."

"Remind me again why it is you hate society so bad?"

Die

Die

Die

"Cuz I thought your whole shitty revenge bender was happening because you didn't like the fact that someone's shitty life choices left you poor, alone, and lonely, and dying with no one around who gave a shit about you."

The next two minutes are a bit confused.

Though the haze of red rage, Tomura is aware of lunging at the kid; of a flash of searing heat as the kid reacts, blasting himself backwards; the feel of slime under his fingers half a second later as his hand hits the wall. The feel of slime melting first, and then the wall under it starting to decay even as he rips his hand free and stares blindly out at the darkness trying to work out where the hell the kid went--

It's the ominous rumble from above, seconds later, that jolts Tomura back to reality; eyeing the roof, breathing harshly, hands not quite steady.

(Mercifully, the roof decides to overlook the fact that it's lost a couple of cubic metres of support and doesn't come crashing down on them. That, or it's more susceptible to death threats than Tomura's bar was, because Tomura's definitely promising it torturous ruin if it dares to squash him.)

The rumbling passes, and in the dark all Tomura can hear is his own panting.

He's is still panting lightly when the lights come back on, so to speak, and the kid deigns to rejoin him, padding towards him with a condescending sneer.

Tomura isn't sure what to say, quite.

I'm not saying sorry that I nearly murdered you, but join me anyway, the offer hasn't changed?

...Usually Kurogiri stops me before I actually murder my allies?

"...For someone who can't walk cuz his leg's killing him, you're moving pretty damn sprightly, loser," the kid says, critically. "You wanna fight?"

"No," Tomura snaps.

It was bad enough nearly killing his future radiator/minion/bodyguard once.

"...Shame. We're fighting whether you want to or not when there ain't a roof on top of us, though. I don't care how fucked your HP is right now, no one hits out at me and doesn't get flattened."

(Is the kid seriously surveying the damage right now, like the hole wasn't nearly his deathbed, and like Tomura's hands aren't two feet away from his back?)

(Tomura fears the kid might be.)

Tomura stares at the wall-- at his own hands-- and wonders:

What would it be like, to wake up in the morning not hating yourself?

What would it be like, to feel something more than nothing as the default and not the exception to the rule?

That's a lie though, because he does feel. Hate is easy. Fear, sometimes. Anger, burning into rage. Gratitude. He's grateful to Sensei. Likes people, he's capable of liking Sensei and Kurogiri. The League, perhaps. This brat, too, when he isn't telling Tomura his dreams are unreasonable or trying to be annoying and irritating and rational. Feels whatever the nagging feeling is, that still won't go away.

But--

(And he's thinking of days ago now, the way the kid's eyes shined when he had him pinned.)

(He's thinking of how the kid had looked downing Kurogiri at USJ, too.)

He doesn't remember what happy feels like. Not really.

There are spikes of it, maybe, shallow and fleeting, but whatever he feels when he is with other people, it never lasts.

In the end, when he's alone--

And he will be alone, won't he, soon?

The brat's never going to join him. When they find wherever the draft is coming from, they'll get to somewhere with a phone, and he'll be back with Sensei's monitor, with only Kurogiri, and only when Sensei doesn't need Kurogiri for something else, and like every other feeling, this nagging feeling, whatever it is, will die. He'll go back to hating himself and everything, and under it he'll feel nothing at all.

"You seriously moping right now cuz you trashed one wall?" the kid cuts into these unpleasant thoughts.

Moping.

Moping?

Tomura is brooding, thank you.

He's pondering.

He's considering.

It's also not the wall that's bothering him.

"Fuckin' loser. Stick some duct tape over your fingers if you're gonna take it this seriously. My hag of a mom wishes one wall was all I'd trash when I lose it, and so does the company credit card."

The nagging feeling, whatever it is, spikes, replacing the greyer thoughts, and Tomura sends the kid a dark look, lifting his chin menacingly.

"You know, if you weren't so annoying, I wouldn't keep nearly killing you."

(That's basically as good as sorry, right?)

"If your logic wasn't shit, you wouldn't get so annoyed at me for calling it like it is. Now, you done fucking 'resting', or do you need to destroy some more walls before your leg decides it's happy to get a fucking move on so we can get outta this shithole and have a proper faceoff?"

(That's basically also as good as 'don't worry about it', Tomura decides.

(Maybe he hasn't burnt all his bridges with the kid. Not yet.)

Underground Sewage Network - ???????? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

"Ever considered grouping up with other human beings as a viable alternative to whining to me that your shitty group dungeons are too hard for you to solo?" the kid says, part way into monologue 56, with an irritating lack of sympathy.

"...Sensei won't play," Tomura admits, peeved, because, well, yes. He has.

The kid keeps sending him the dubious look he reserves for when he thinks Tomura isn't being logical. Repellent little spitfire. Tomura senses insults coming.

Sure enough:

"You're in an MMORPG with 20-30 million other otaku, and your creepy Sensei is the only name you're coming up with when you think 'group'? Fucking pathetic, that is."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"I'm open to grouping with you."

"Not a chance, fucker," the kid says immediately, shooting him down with a brutal lack of hesitation. "I ain't joining your party in real or virtual life, ever, so you and your shitty Mon can both fuck off and die."

(Mon does that even without the kid's input, unfortunately.)

Ext. River - Afternoon  - ????????? Days Post The Kamino Disaster

For better or worse, they reach the exit the next day.

It's a crumbled pile of broken stonework and collapsed concrete, and the actual hole is only a foot or so wide and tall.

One touch of Tomura's fingers fixes that; widens it to something he can get through without crawling, and from the look of it, they're at the back of some sort of waterlogged cave, outside of which a river is running. More importantly, outside which there is actual daylight, and no, Tomura isn't running towards it, he's just limping towards it slightly faster than he usually would.

"Hey, walk behind me, loser," the kid growls, following after.

Like hell.

Tomura's getting to daylight before this cave decides to collapse and trap him, too.

And then--

Sunlight.

Warm, bright, sunlight, that makes him squint against the brightness, and air that doesn't make him want to be ill--

Usually, Tomura despises nature.

Right now, even grass is making him pleased.

There's the obligatory "You're under arrest, Hands," from Bakugou, of course, glaring holes in the Tomura's back as he picks his way out after him, but it's not said all that threateningly, and since it's followed up by a, "But first, we're gonna go upstream a bit and we're gonna fucking wash," Tomura chooses to believe the brat's just saving face and may not actually mean it.

(There's a chance the kid mightn't, right?)

"Can you swim, or do I gotta worry about your loser ass drowning while we do that?" the kid checks.

(Tomura is offended.)

(The nagging feeling is pleased.)

"I can swim," Tomura snaps. "It may come as something of a shock to you, brat, but I don't normally need help from anyone to do anything."

The look he gets is insultingly sceptical. The kid also takes the chance while Tomura's busy glaring at him to get ahead so that he's the one leading the way upstream, and Tomura's the one stuck trailing after, and it would honestly serve the brat right if Tomura decayed him in the back.

Annoying little shit.

He's going to have to decide soon, Tomura thinks, limping after the kid, if he's going to be kidnapping the kid or just abandoning him when the time comes to stop going where the kid wants and start going where Tomura wants instead.

On the one hand, all of Tomura is in agreement that he wants the kid on his side.

On the other hand, if he takes the kid back--

Sensei doesn't like heroes. (Neither does Tomura.)

Sensei very much does not like heroes who idolize All Might. (Neither does Tomura.)

The kid doesn't know how to shut up.

Sensei will--

Do nothing.

Sensei will do nothing.

Sensei is safe, Sensei believes in Tomura, and Sensei gives Tomura anything he wants.

(Tomura has never wanted anything except to destroy Society, though.)

(Is Sensei still going to give him whatever he wants if he doesn't want the same thing as Sensei?)

(Is he prepared to bet the kid's life on that?)

(The kid's going to die anyway though if Tomura does nothing; there's no place for him as-is in Tomura's dream.)

He's still debating which side of the fence to fall on there when the kid-- unfairly-- declares he's washing their clothes.

No, the kid isn't doing what Tomura was planning to do, which was submerge his clothes in the water and hope for the best.

The kid's put together some board-like contraption made from sticks and rope while Tomura's been brooding, because of course he has, and of course he knows how to do that, too, and Tomura-- getting on with the business of washing and abandoning that the annoying particulars of 'how' for now-- decides the important thing is that he is converting the brat somehow, and the kid's definitely earned the rank of lieutenant when he does because clean (even just cleanish) clothes are a luxury Tomura would kill for right now, and so he's definitely giving the brat a promotion for this.

He can spend another day trying, right?

It can't hurt to let the kid think Tomura is his prisoner for one day. It's not like Tomura knows where to lead them even if he does manage to restrain his future lieutenant. It's also not like anyone (definitely not Tomura) is going to be telling Sensei later that he's tolerating sort-of capture for a pair of cleaner clothes.

Later, post-wash, the brat hunts down some straight-ish branches and insists on splinting his leg; something about 'conventions' and 'correct treatment of prisoners.'

"I have never seen All Might doing that," Tomura says, dubiously.

"You wouldn't see me doing it in a city either, I'd be letting some shitty extra call 119 so someone who didn't drip explosives from their hands could handle this shit."

"...Is my leg going to explode if you do it?" Tomura checks suspiciously.

"Depends, you planning on sparking shit up near it or sticking your shitty leg anywhere hotter than 260 degrees anytime soon?"

"I don't see you doing this for your leg," Tomura accuses him.

A vein in the kid's jaw ticks.

"Cuz I ain't gonna broadcast I got a break to every villain we come across, shithead. Doesn't end well if villains know you got a weakness. Doesn't end well if anyone you want to respect you or be scared of you knows you got one, period. Doesn't make a difference for you cuz you got a shitty chest weeping puss and a shittier neck you can't hide anyway, and even if you didn't, you ain't gonna be fighting shit. Whether the losers we meet out here are villains, heroes or just shitty 10 HP extras out fishing, while you're in my party there's gonna be no disintegrations."

It's my party, brat.

I'm the PC here.

"What, I should just let them murder me, should I, if it comes to that?" Tomura huffs, offended.

"It ain't ever gonna, because they ain't ever gonna get past me."

The glare-off lasts maybe five minutes.

But in the end--

"Fine," Tomura concedes. 

Fine. He'll play along for now. It's not like the kid's record isn't 100% for making sure nothing stabs, digests or poisons Tomura while the kid has his back. As soon as they do find someone--

(What will he do? Kill them anyway?)

(Steal a phone and call Kurogiri and end this farce?)

(Find a good chance to destroy the phone so the kid's stuck with him a few more days?)

That's actually not a bad plan.

The nagging feeling and the villainous feelings agree there.

(No, he's not looking for excuses. He's being logical. Sensei should be proud. Sensei would be proud, this is a good plan.)

Tomura's--

Ow.

The kid does know what he's doing, doesn't he?

Because whatever he's doing hurts.

"Stop fucking moving, loser, and hold still."

"I am holding still!" still-ish, anyway. "I thought you said this was going to help."

"It's gonna stop your leg getting more fucked, not make it unfucked. I ain't the Gummy-crone so you're just gonna have to suck it up and deal with it until you get to a fucking hospital."

Tomura sucks a ragged breath in through clenched teeth.

"I am not going to a hospital. You are coming with me, back to my lair, and--"

The kid isn't even listening. Just methodically working, tuning him out, not even reacting beyond the occasional eye-twitch, like Tomura is nothing more or less than an especially pesky mosquito.

(Maybe to the kid, that's all he is.)

(He hates that idea, even more than he hates the white fire shooting up the nerves in his leg.)

Ext. River - Afternoon  - ????????? Days Post The Kamino Disaster - Later

They walk until daylight ends, upriver, because there's nothing downriver but tall cliffs and the sea.

It's all nicely remote and devoid of people, houses or pay phones-- not that they have anything to pay with; Tomura didn't have his wallet on him when the bar collapsed, and the kid wasn't carrying his when he was kidnapped. Tomura knows because Toga checked.

Evening comes, and Bakugou lights a fire-- warm, properly warm; everything is good about it but the smoke-- and Tomura questions his own better judgement a bit when he sleeps first, back to the heat, just because he's tired and the kid tells him to. (It's harder to pretend he hasn't formed bad habits when he's relaxing like this, feeling the heat sink into his back, slowly thawing aching muscles.)

He wakes hours later to the smell of roasting fish.

He's dry.

The kid hasn't taped his hands up and hog-tied him.

He's sore, maybe, but not sorer than he was back when Stain stabbed him that one time, and overall Tomura's pretty sure he's doing fine.

And it's purely habit, bad habit, that makes him say, "Your turn to rest, brat," once he's up and breakfasted, because it's not like he really should be saying it, it's not really like he should be taking it for granted still that one of those fish is meant for him, and it's not like he really expects the kid to say yes.

Except.

The kid's not immediately saying no.

He's glaring, but he always glares, and--

Is Tomura not the only one who formed these bad habits after all?

Maybe, apparently, because instead of a 'Fuck no,' Tomura gets (eventually) a scowl and a: "...Fine. But don't even try running while I'm sleeping, if that's what you're thinking of doing. You won't get far on that shitty leg and I'll break your other leg if you make me waste my time hunting you down. And if you kill any extras while I'm sleeping, I'm blowing your pinkies off. All four of 'em."

And, well...

What's he supposed to do with that, really?

Yes, Tomura started this, but even so, what's he supposed to do with the fact that his future lieutenant might-- apparently does-- trust him not to stab him or decay him in the back even without Tomura's death by starvation to hold over his head as leverage?

Sit, apparently, is what. Because he does, after a moment or two, settle himself down with a huff in front of the brat, and does keep a sullen watch over the fire and doesn't leave the kid or hog tie him or do any of the things he should be doing, and that Sensei would definitely have done in his place while the kid's guard is down.

Why it's not fair that smoke seems to follow Tomura like it's a compass and he's North is the subject of today's monologue.

Predictably, the kid snorts, settling himself more comfortably, and says that Tomura should stop sitting in front of him, shouldn't he, and instead park himself 180 across.

(Heartless brat.)

Ten minutes later, he's snoring peacefully, curled up away from the smoke.

It's the first time Tomura's actually seen the kid sleep, and when he's not glaring or cursing--

Wrong, is how the kid looks, lying like that.

Tomura could touch him with five fingers right now, and the kid wouldn't even get the chance to cuss him before he melted into dust.

Tomura feels a spike of--something. A vague, irrational urge to-- hide the kid, maybe, somewhere where Sensei will never find him, even though Sensei is one of the safest people he knows. (The kid's feet are cut and bruised, and forget shoes, the brat hasn't even got socks. Tomura knows the kid's leg's broken; he's got no idea what other injuries the kid's hiding.)

Not like the kid will actually tell him, is it?

Not like Tomura could actually do anything for the brat even if he did.

(It wouldn't kill the kid to want to tell him anyway.)

It's fine though.

It's a blip in the radar, that's all.

A blip is nothing.

He'll get back to plotting how best to burn down the world soon. This morning-- it's just for this morning-- he'll let the brat rest; will feed sticks into the fire, disintegrate the odd, adventurous poisonous centipede, glare at the kid's shoulder and silently resign himself to the fact that thanks to that annoying, nagging feeling, he's going to need to do a lot of editing when he gets back gets asked 'What happened' by any of his allies in order to make any of this sound remotely professional and properly chaotic evil for Sensei.

Chapter Text

They bump into her at around maybe 1PM or so on Day 2 after their escape from the sewer.

Hands is bitching about life as usual, Katsuki's tuning him out as usual, and they both stiffen when they hear the dull roar of an engine in the distance and the tell-tale dust-cloud that says some shitty extra has rocked up within walking distance of wherever the fuck this is.

Katsuki stills.

Hands stills, too.

"We're not," Hands says, flatly, following Katsuki's thought process with almost Deku-worthy speed.

"We fucking are."

"I thought you were supposed to be going to surpass All Might. All Might never asks people in random cars for help."

Katsuki feels his left eye twitching.

"It ain't help if I pay for it-- don't look like that, I fucking will, once I'm back at UA, IOU's still count as payment-- and this ain't a fucking road trip, loser. I get that you don't wanna go near 'em, but not all of us hate our day jobs so much that we'll sit in a sewer for two days longer than we need to just so we don't gotta get back to it-- don't even try it, you fucking did."

"What makes you think I won't kill them?"

"Pinkies, Hands," Katsuki says, meaningfully.

"You'd really make me quirkless to save one random person you don't give a shit about?" Hands says, sounding fucking peeved.

"Yup," Katsuki says callously. "No need to give me that look, you're the one who said your creepy-as-fuck Sensei gives quirks out like candies. Which, actually, why the fuck didn't you cut 'em off yourself if you hate the universe so bad for giving you that one? If he gives them to whoever you want him to, go get him to give you one that'll let you pet puppies so you can stop being a mopey bitch about accidentally nuking shit."

Hands kicks Katsuki in his bad leg, the fucking dick.

Katsuki guesses he can relate, though, to kicking shit (or Deku's face) instead of acknowledging his life choices may possibly have been shit, so Katsuki generously doesn't do more than elbow Hands in his bad side in retaliation. (It starts oozing yellow-red, but Hands is a tough little shit, that ain't gonna off him. It's septic, not necrotic. Yet.)

It ain't a bad walk, as walks go.

Katsuki wouldn't mind a few more mountains and a few more precipitous drops just to make things interesting, but he can't really complain if Fate's gonna be nice about this shit and hand out soft grass and a shaded river instead of anything that's an actual challenge.

Shitty extra 1-- Katsuki should probably call her something more distinctive, but she's alone so that'll do-- is a plump, middle-aged woman armed with a fishing rod, wet-gear, and when Katsuki finally sights her two hours later, his first thought is 'fucking finally'.

Sure, Katsuki's aware he looks kinda shitty right now. (Not nearly as shitty as Hands though, Katsuki's still beating someone.)

And, OK, sure, Katsuki can allow his old man (or Deku back when he was a deku) would probably have sweat-dropped and sidled the hell back into their car (in shitty extra 1's case, a hatchback) if someone who looked like Katsuki does right now had decided to bear down on them in a shopping centre car park or something with the intent to engage in Human Interaction, but females in Katsuki's (admittedly limited) experience (old hag; Midnight; Auntie Inko that one time she caught him blasting Deku in his stupid face when they were eight; Class 1-A) are made of tougher stuff, and Katsuki feels it's safe to assume she's hiding a mean bitch and a spine of steel somewhere under that nice exterior, and will be more likely to try to scare him off than to run screaming.

Well, Katsuki ain't scared of any females, thanks. Katsuki's not a pushover.

So yeah, Katsuki maybe draws himself up a bit straighter, looks a bit more menacing as they get nearer, just in case the shitty extra gets any ideas like the fact that he's limping (slightly, not much) and about to maybe ask favors off of her makes him a weak loser she can push around.

He'd blast towards her, to close the distance faster (and make it clear his is the better quirk) but Katsuki likes his record spotless, thank you, he's not blowing it by blasting off explosions on public property unless he's got a villain attacking him. He's already got enough trouble keeping a mental tally of all the shit he eats just in case this isn't public property and someone needs to bill him for it later.

(He's keeping a tally for Hands, too, because there's no way Hands is ever gonna fork out shit, he's one of those people, and that makes Katsuki responsible for the loser's share. Katsuki knows how this shit works. Fingers and Sharp-tooth had been the same whenever they ate out anywhere, back before the whole SMI, after which Katsuki dumped their loser asses and never invited either of them anywhere again, cuz Katsuki is a petty bastard who Does Not Forgive shit.)

Notice though, Hands, how Katsuki ain't killing them for sucking?

Hands could use Katsuki as a life lesson.

Maybe Katsuki'll point it out later; loser doesn't seem to have anyone else in his life who will.

About 500 meters from her, Shitty extra 1 finally spots them (unobservant loser; definitely not a hero) and kinda freezes, hands clenching around her fishing rod.

Yeah, take that, shitty extra.

Katsuki's the one calling the shots here, thanks.

He can already tell this bitch isn't gonna be showing her spine any time soon; she looks like she's gonna play nice and not lash out at him, cuz she's read loud and clear that Katsuki's a tough, mean, sonofabitch who won't be easy to crush. Katsuki lifts his chin and glares a bit more to show her she read that shit dead right.

Shitty extra looks behind her, gauging the distance to her car, and twists her rod.

(Nervously? Debating hitting them with it in case she changes her mind about playing nice?)

Katsuki's not sure, but he'll keep an eye on it just in case.

(They're 50 meters away now, and Katsuki can see from here that her muscle distribution's shit under the baggy clothes she's wearing. Katsuki's pretty sure that unless she's hiding a transformation quirk, he'd be able to flatten her, if flattening on public/private property without permission wasn't illegal.)

"Oi," Katsuki calls, at about 25 meters. And then, cuz Asshole Jeanist reckons people don't like being called 'bitch' and Katsuki can retain shit if he wants to, "Lady. Give us your phone."

She stiffens, twisting her rod. Katsuki keeps bearing down on her, 25, 20, 15 from her, half his attention on her, and half on Hands, cuz Hands, still trailing sourly along behind, is showing signs that he might be going to be a little shit about this despite Katsuki's threats, and since the loser can't be trusted not to disintegrate anybody except Katsuki, Katsuki's gonna have to keep him and the shitty extra in line.

(Yes, Katsuki's aware he shouldn't actually be trusting Hands not to disintegrate Katsuki.

It's a shitty life choice, he gets it.

But it's not like he can actually murder the loser (illegal, and also a waste given how much effort Katsuki's put into saving his useless ass), it's not like he's got anything to restrain him with (loser's quirk is shit to deal with; Katsuki hopes Tartarus has decay-proof cells), and it's not like Katsuki can stay awake constantly either (he tried that back in the sewer, he knows he'll nod off eventually), so it's not like he really has a choice besides either option A: trusting Hands won't murder him, or B: ditching the loser to ooze to death in a ditch somewhere or survive on metabolised spite and mass-murder his way back to his shitty villain lair.)

Option B is a shitty choice, Katsuki's a professional, thanks, nobody gets to die on Katsuki's watch, so, yeah.

Trust it is.

(Doesn't hurt the loser's ASMR monologuing puts him to sleep like clockwork, and Katsuki doesn't really hate that as much as he should.

In a weird way, the fucker's starting to remind him of a cat the old hag used to own that she called 'Tinkles' and Katsuki dubbed 'Psycho'-- yowls a lot about things no one gives a shit about, sits unmoving and stares at Katsuki creepily while he's sleeping (Katsuki knows; he woke once when the loser stopped monologuing), scratches shit he shouldn't whenever he's stressed or annoyed, and leaves weird, creepy gifts like dead birds (or rabbits) at your feet that you then have to then do something with. (In the old hag's case, bury. In Katsuki's case, cook.)

It's fucking weird, and Katsuki still can't really get a read on what the loser's hoping to get outta this (Katsuki's pretty sure he's made it clear the answer's not 'Katsuki'), but it's whatever. Katsuki's stuck with option A, and it's not like he wants Hands to be murdering him. Why the loser ain't is Hands' problem.)

"Um. Hi. C-can I help you two?" shitty extra 1 says, at range 7 meters, in an Auntie Inko-y kinda voice.

(Definitely a spine of steel hiding under there. Katsuki can't let his guard down.)

Her gaze right now isn't on him though, insultingly-- instead of being focused on the actual threat, her mouth's formed kind of a pitying 'oh' shape and her eyes are wide and seem to be glued to Hands' shitty chest, which is fair given it stinks and is leaking pus, but Katsuki imagines Hands would fucking hate it, cuz Katsuki would, and she adds to all of it two seconds later with an, "Oh my God, kid, you poor thing, what happened to your chest?"

Hands's whole diseased being puffs up in annoyance.

Katsuki can empathise there, and, look, he doesn't even blame the loser when he snarls an outraged: "'Kid'? I am an adult, thank you, he's the only kid here, and what happened to my chest is none of your concern, so you can take your 'poor thing' and choke on it," cuz Hands is doing a personal best there not decaying her, really.

Shitty extra sucks in a sharp breath, lip wobbling like Deku's would, and keeps staring at Hands' chest, like Hands' is the first wound she's ever seen. Katsuki figures it's time to get things back on track, so to speak. (He's still not letting his guard down, Deku was hiding a spine of steel under all that wimpiness, too.)

Katsuki steps in between her and Hands, so that the only thing she can stare at is him, which is all she should be worrying about anyway.

"Neither of us are kids," Katsuki says, injecting a bit more menace into his voice. "We ain't weak, and we don't need your pity, he ain't roughed up that badly. We just need to make a call, so give us your--" shitty "--phone for a bit, and we'll be outta your hair and you can go back to your--" Katsuki glances at the baits she's using-- "trout. You can bill me for it later, I ain't asking you for charity, lady."

"'Roughed up--' Did-- d-did you do that to him?" shitty extra 1 says.

"Kinda," Katsuki shrugs, cuz, yeah, he did pull the rebar out even if the neck is all Hands.

The shitty extra sucks in a shallow gasp, like that fact's horrifying.

"Phone," Katsuki prods, cuz he ain't got time for this shit.

"Oh God, you're villains, aren't you?" she whispers, and it's the same kind of dawning horror Deku used to get on those (rare) occasions when the shitty nerd got out-sniped on his snipe-bids on second-hand limited edition signed All Might merch, which, just--

"You fucking kidding me right now, bitch?" Katsuki checks flatly.

She flinches, and okay, yeah, maybe Asshole Jeanist has a point, shitty extras really don't appreciate being called that.

Not Katsuki's fault they're so fucking annoying, though, is it? He's not asking for the sun or the moon right now.

"Imma explode your face in, lady," Katsuki says when she keeps looking horrified, "we fucking ain't, he's the only villain in this party. I'm a fucking hero."

Far from looking appropriately reassured, shitty extra 1 blanches. Katsuki's not too clear on why, given he's just confirmed that he ain't a fucking villain and he's clearly the one in charge or Hands would be decaying his back right now, so she should be relieved here if it's villains she's worried about. Shitty extra. It's clear that whatever she's thinking about isn't what she should be thinking about.

"Stop freaking the fuck out, lady, and give us your fucking phone," Katsuki steers her brain back on track for her.

Tries to, anyway. Because:

"I-- don't, um-- my husband is expecting me at home in half an hour. And I have kids, two kids," is what the shitty extra blathers instead of producing said phone, which, what the fuck's that got to do with anything, and why the fuck does she think Katsuki gives a shit? Nobody gives a shit about her life story or her schedule, Katsuki just wants to make one shitty call. "They're twins. They're five. It's their birthday next month."

"I ain't asking for a party invite, lady, and I don't give a shit about your husband. I'm asking you to produce your fucking phone, what the fuck is your problem?"

Shitty extra 1 is sweat dropping, but she lifts her chin.

"I-I d-don't have it on me."

Fuck the shitty extra, who the actual fuck does not carry a phone when they're going out fishing? She's gotta be lying.

"Fine," Katsuki grits out, not calling her on it. Because he's a professional and other human beings do-- unfortunately-- have the right to not lend phones if they don't want to (but why the fuck won't she, it's one five minute call, he'll even pay her for it, the selfish bitch)-- "Then give us a lift to the nearest town, and we'll make the call there."

Shitty extra 1starts backing up.

"I'd like to help you two-- I would," he can read in her eyes though, that's a fucking lie, they're darting left and right and she's not making eye contact with either of them-- "but I really don't-- I just don't feel comfortable letting total strangers into my car. Even nice strangers. Which I'm sure both of you young men are."

Who gives a shit what she's comfortable with?

Does she think Katsuki feels comfortable asking her shitty ass for a lift?

Deku wishes Katsuki would ask him for a lift.

She should be thanking him for letting her help the future number one.

"But you two do look like you could use some help-- and not just the physical kind-- so I'll, um, call 119 and let them know there are two kids out here when I get home, and I'm sure a suitable hero will come by soon to help you."

"The fuck do you mean, 'not just physical'?," Katsuki glares.

"Call the police on us and I will hunt you and your children down and end you all. I know your plate number. I will find out where you live, whoever you are, and--" Hands starts, eyes burning, chest swelling.

"The fuck you will, loser. Like you could run a plate, you can't even find North," Katsuki rolls his eyes.

"I can, brat, and if I can't, then Kurogiri will for me, so stop interrupting me-- I will find you and I will burn your place to the ground and leave you with dust and rubble and bones!"

Katsuki kinda snorts cuz who the fuck's gonna take this shit seriously? Hands ain't gonna knowingly make 5-year-old's orphans, Hands has trauma over killing puppies. Fuckin' loser. Also, it's cute he thinks he's going anywhere but Tartarus.

Shitty extra 1, though, weirdly, is dropping her fishing rod, it's falling with a clatter to the ground, and she's shaking like a fucking jelly as she backs towards her car, mumbling:

"I'll just-- um-- go. I won't call anyone. I promise I won't call anyone--"

Wait, what?

"I'll forget all this ever happened. I promise. I won't even mention I met you."

"The fuck?" Katsuki steps forward, 'mildly annoyed' giving way to 'fucking pissed off', because is she fucking kidding him right now?

"I'm not lying, I'm really not, I don't want to get involved, I just wanted to go fishing, I promise I won't breathe a word, I promise I don't care about any yakuza or villain business--"

"No, that ain't it, you fucking botoxed retard--"

The car door closes with a snap, and the engine revs with a roar, and two seconds later, Katsuki and Hands are eating dust, so to speak.

The dust settles slowly.

Katsuki brushes it off his face.

"What did I tell you? Society sucks," Hands says, like he wasn't the one who fucking did this.

Katsuki eyes off the fishing rod and wonders if the reel'd do as a workable restraint (or noose).

Unfortunately, the law is clear on this, and stealing fishing rod reels-- even abandoned fishing rod reels-- falls squarely under the definition of 'theft'. 'Its owner was a fucking bitch' is not gonna be smiled on by a judge if the shitty extra sues. (Fucking bitch.)

"Your social skills are shit, Hands," Katsuki criticizes.

"Says the resident diplomat. America and China would be buddies if they attended a peace conference you chaired."

Katsuki knows sarcasm when he hears it.

Katsuki steps on his foot, hard, just in case the loser's forgotten who's actually in charge here, and then walks the fuck on.

The fuck's wrong with his social skills?

He didn't even call her a bitch (much). He did fucking A+.

Fucking extra.

Fucking Hands.

Katsuki kicks a rock and imagines it's the shitty extra's shitty head.

Chapter Text

Ext - River - 5:30 PM - ~19 Days (According to Bakugou) since The Kamino Disaster

According to Bakugou, once he’s calmed down a bit after that disastrous little run-in, it doesn’t matter that the random woman didn’t help them, they don’t need help, they've got this, and the important thing is that where there is a road with a car on it, there is also— 90% of the time, ~10-100 kilometres along it— a town.

Towns = people.

People = police + cameras + hospitals.

Sure, the kid concedes-- belligerently collecting sticks for firewood and stacking them-- they don't have money right now, but not everyone's a selfish bitch, so someone will definitely lend them a phone.

If the town's big enough, they can skip lending shit and go straight to a public library, log into the UA portal, and print out some paper ID before they go to the police station and/or hospital, cuz they're a bit short on the ID front, they're carrying 16 dead bodies they need to explain, and the hospital ain't gonna accept IOUs without some form of ID to know who to send the bill to later.

(Adults? Heroes? Who needs those? Those are an afterthought-- an, "and I gotta give Sensei a call, too, probably, so he can let the old hag know I'm alive if she's giving UA shit about me being missing, which she will be. Probably need to come tick the box anyway to say I was allowed to use my quirk in that shitty sewer, which he fucking better cuz he fucking did, and I don't have my license yet so someone might as well get the commission for turning your loser ass in.")

Tomura glares at the brat, because 1) he resents being labelled as the merchandise here, and 2) the kid's clearly planning on dealing directly with the police, IDless and shoeless and adultless, and all of this plan sounds terrible to Tomura.

Yes, even hospital.

It’s not like he can pay for medical treatment, he doesn’t have medical insurance. He’s not sure he’s even registered as a Japanese citizen these days, the paperwork side of things is Kurogiri’s problem. He’s never had a healer in the party before, wounds always close up on their own eventually, and who knows what any doctors would do to him under the guise of 'treating' him? They'll probably cut bits of his organs out. They might try to cut his quirk out.

The only people who get to come within wound-treating distance of Tomura without being disintegrated are Sensei, Kurogiri and the brat.

Anyway, injuries aside, how the hell’s he supposed to get the kid on his side if the kid has medical staff and police to palm him off on? Annoyingly, the kid's not really making a secret of the fact that he's only looking after Tomura in the absence of someone with a better quirk. The moment he finds someone with a healing quirk and a set of quirk restraints and some sort of position in Society that makes it their job to deal with mass murderers, the kid's going to dump him and leave him and be on the first train back to Musutafu.

Screw that! Tomura isn't going to prison, not now, not ever, and he doesn't want someone with a better quirk for healing to do something about his wounds, he wants the brat, because the brat can be trusted. Nobody's going to slit his neck open with a scalpel for killing a relative in Hosu if he turns his back on them if the kid's there, and yes, Tomura can definitely kill anyone who tries, he's got good reflexes, but killing them isn’t going to make the kid stick with his party. It's just going to make the kid bitch at him for being illegal and hypocritical and blast him in the face.

He needs to find something that will make the kid stay.

A strategy he hasn't tried yet--

Something that will make the kid's eyes shine like they do when he wins, like he's happy, but that doesn't involve Tomura losing because that makes Tomura angry because he likes winning, too, and anyway, the kid won't want to join him if the kid thinks he's weak.

A lesser villain would have given up in the face of this nasty conundrum.

Tomura is not a lesser villain.

Brainstorming, Kurogiri always used to tell him back when he home-schooled Tomura, is the key when it comes to solving problems you're stuck on. So, in the sticky mud of the riverbank, Tomura writes up a list of the strategies he has tried so far.

He even gets his future lieutenant’s help with the counterarguments side, which the kid bitches about but does anyway because the kid's almost certainly a closet nerd. (He even makes sure his dot-points have the same sized bullet point, that's how OCD the kid is, and even at writing in the mud, the kid's A+. The kid sneers at Tomura's handwriting-- currently a little lopsided and scrawling-- which is annoying, but Tomura's sure his would be A+, too, if he could hold the stick with five fingers. His future lieutenant has an unfair advantage there.)

"I ain't your future lieutenant, loser, and nothing's stopping you from putting duct tape around one finger if you don't wanna nuke shit, so your shitty handwriting's all on you."

Tomura flips the brat the finger and keeps writing, because the brat told him not ten minutes ago that he's going to arrest him and turn him in for money (heartless little shit) so the brat's not getting duct tape anywhere near Tomura's fingers until Tomura resolves that particular problem.

Ten minutes later, the results stand before him:

The kid would subscribe?

(No, Tomura, you have standards.)

But the kid would subscribe.

"I am not starting an ASMR sleep channel for you, brat," Tomura tells the kid firmly, glaring, because does have standards, villainous standards, and he's sticking to them if it kills him. "I am not going to help people get to sleep to make their lives better for them, I am not becoming a contributing member of a society as rotten as this one is, period, so you can take that particular piece of job advice and incinerate it."

"I ain't going that far, loser. Plenty of room to start a YouTube channel and still be a shitty 2/20 human being who doesn't contribute to society. Need 1000 subscribers min before you'll earn shit off of it, so you won't even have to worry about reporting shit come tax return time if you don't put ads on it or tell people it's the LOV running it."

"...Why am I two out of 20, brat?"

"You asking why you ain't a 20 or why you ain't a 0, loser?"

Tomura accidentally clenches his hands into a fist, and, well, bye-bye stick.

Kurogiri's advice leaves much to be desired, Tomura thinks sourly, glaring at the dust. This worked for essays but it's not really working for converting minions. Tomura kicks the "Failed Arguments/Strategies & Counter Arguments" table out of existence so he can stop being annoyed by it (and by that 2) and gets to work thinking more.

Remaining options Tomura has not tried:

1. Bribery. (Always reliable if he can work out what the kid wants.)
2. Threaten his friends/family (Out. It's inconvenient and annoying, but Tomura wants the kid to like him.)
3. Brainwashing/memory alteration (Also out. If all he wanted was someone who looked the same, he could feed the kid's blood to Toga.)
4. Accept defeat (for now) and part ways. (It's not an option he likes, but when they get to that town, he may--unfortunately-- have to cut his losses, because the alternatives are prison (not happening) and murdering the town (out for the same reasons as option 2. The kid mightn't mind that he's a mass murderer-- another good, unheroic trait-- but the kid will definitely take it as a personal failure if Tomura murders while they're in the same party and the kid will probably die or murder Tomura's pinkies before he lets himself lose. Neither of those options are acceptable.)

It's not like he can't keep plotting just because the kid's not watching his back or cooking fish for him.

He can keep plotting while he's back at the lair. Option 4 isn't the end-- Tomura tells himself, watching the kid setting up the fire, sending Tomura the occasional sour look whenever Tomura shifts because the kid's a hypervigilant little shit-- it's just a temporary road bump.

So, option 1 and option 4 as a backup, for now, and as the (future) senpai of the two of them, Tomura probably should make sure he parks the kid with a suitable adult before he leaves him and gets back to destroying the world if things come to that.

(He's seen the kid's social skills in action now; the brat can't be trusted to land himself anywhere but prison if getting there involves a pass in Diplomacy & Speechcraft 101.)

Who qualifies? Definitely not All Might, Tomura won't get away if he makes contact with All Might, the man's speed is unfair. (Tomura also hates All Might's guts, and All Might needs to die, so he'll probably lose his temper if he sees him.)

(He can't contact Sensei before he contacts the Suitable Adult either, because Sensei's speed is also unfair, and Tomura doesn't know what Sensei'll do to the kid if he knows Tomura has a soft spot for the brat. He'll need to contact Sensei after he escapes, and escaping is going to be a problem in and of itself because the brat is fast.)

The kid's parents, maybe? Or Eraserhead, if the LOV contacting his parents will make the kid upset? (Though, Eraserhead loses points for not looking after Tomura's future lieutenant properly. The kid won't join him (yet) because the kid likes UA better, so the least UA can do is like the kid back and not do things like muzzle him and chain him up on national TV, let him get kidnapped by Tomura, or make him stick his hands in boiling water eight hours a day in the name of 'training'. It's not like there aren't other ways you can open sweat pores (saunas, anyone?) and looking for someone who was kidnapped by villains who could be doing anything to them isn't hard. It's not like they know Tomura has a soft spot for the brat, and he definitely didn't back when he caught the kid.)

Tomura is still very far from accepting option 4 though.

Option 4 is for failures, and Tomura is, as Sensei always tells him, a success.

He's got time, they won't get to another town that quickly. (Especially if Tomura stalls.)

Tomura will think of the perfect bribe. There will be something the kid wants. Something only Tomura can provide (besides monologuing, he needs a bribe that's dignified), and something the kid will actually appreciate Tomura for giving to him. Something the kid actually values that he can't get on the good side.

Once Tomura finds that special something--

Once Tomura produces it--

And he will.

Tomura will find the perfect something and prove that Evil will make the brat happier than Good ever will.

Attempt 1: Money

"Thirteen million yen per year," Tomura lies, "Is a doable salary."

"It's plus commission, and plus equipment, plus medical insurance, and plus life insurance, and plus pension, fucker."

"...Stain felt--"

"Who gives a fuck? He's an idealist crackpot who's as bad as you are, and probably thinks shops should hand out food for free, too, just cuz people'll die without it."

"He and his silly ideals were the worst," Tomura agrees, gratified by the (rare) find of someone else who doesn't like Stain. "He stabbed me, you know. Four or five times, even though he knows I don't have any healers in my party. He had the nerve to say my dreams didn't fit in his vision, like he wasn't the one being scouted by my League."

"Sounds like your top priority should be recruiting a healer, then, don't it? Should start looking for one, instead of bitching to me about how bad your recruitment efforts suck."

(Annoying brat.)

Tomura can't afford those benefits, though.

He can't buy the kid, period.

Sadly, as a bribe, money is out.

Attempt 2: Power 

“It’s feeling, brat.”

Bakugou, busy cleaning and de-scaling two fat trout, sends Tomura a sour look and a raised eyebrow, followed by a, “…Hah?” that says he's not following Tomura's brilliance at all.

“Your feet,” Tomura nods at them. “Feeling.”

“My feet are feeling fine, fucker, you want a handful of fish guts in your face?”

Some of the elated feeling dies. Tomura sends the kid a Done look.

“Quirk activation, brat. I am offering power and advice, not fussing over the A+ condition of your feet.”

The kid glares at him a bit more, before he makes a huffing noise and goes back to his fish.

“Yeah, well. They are A+ so you better not be, and you’re a shit teacher, so I don’t want your advice. Who the fuck’d be dumb enough to believe quirk activation has shit to do with feelings? It’s a fucking science, loser, they’re like any other muscle that needs exercising, and I’ve got this shit covered just fine on my own. Did whatever senseis taught you that in school even have teaching licences?”

“…Probably,” Tomura glares.

“Betcha 500 yen they didn’t,” the kid says cynically, poking the knife at him. “Not a valid one anyway. You even graduate middle school, loser, or’d your precious Sensei skip Life Lessons while he was brainwashing you and stick you straight into Supervillainy 101? And don’t even think about throwing that at me, asshole, or I’m using your trout as the mud shield and you’ll be the one stuck eating it.”

Peeved, Tomura drops his handful of mud back into the riverbed, and resignedly (mentally) crosses ‘quirk advice’ off the list of possible bribes.

(He’s still not done, not yet. There are plenty of other things the kid might like.)

The kid’s file said he liked spicy food, if Tomura is remembering that right.

Tomura wonders if there’s anywhere around here growing chilis.

Attempt 3: Spicy Food 

There is nowhere around here growing chilis.

Attempt 4: Monologuing

"Join me, and it will not matter that I won't start your ASMR channel because I will monologue at you daily."

(Tomura is, perhaps, running out of ideas here.)

(Even he's not sure how the above's a bribe.)

"You can monologue some more at me about that if you like. Doesn't really matter what order we sleep in."

Snide little punk.

Tomura does, though, if only because the kid really isn't looking all that healthy under the grime.

There has to be something the kid wants that he can give him.

But what is there to give when the uncooperative little shit insists he wants nothing?

Attempt 5: Assassination

"Is there anyone you want dead that you can't kill yourself?" Tomura checks.

"Nope."

"Not even the Sludge Monster?"

The kid side-eyes him.

"I checked the files," Tomura persists. "He didn't kill anyone, so he'll be out in three years. Hardly fair."

"Sounds like someone in charge of files ain't doing their job, and are you seriously offering to murder shit for me right now, loser?"

"Society is filthy, and the justice it offers is unsatisfying. If you worked with us, you could get real justice."

"What I could get is arrested for collusion, loser, so fuck off. You should like the loser anyway, aren't you all about shitty villains who take what they want from whoever they think might be weaker than they are, because they think it's fine to do what they want as long as they're annoyed at Society cuz there's someone in it they wanna nuke?"

"Not when they do it to the League," Tomura snaps.

"Which I wasn't, and ain't."

"That's not the point! The point is that unlike society, we don't have laws against backdating crimes. We have your back, brat, and we'd have it better if you joined us."

"Hard pass, fucker. I don't need you to watch my back, I got that shit covered just fine myself. And if I want him dead in three years, I'll murder the loser myself, too, so I better not find you went ahead and did that shit anyway."

Tomura crosses off 'murder' off the list as well.

Pity.

Counter-strategy 1: Logic

"Why do you even want me on your shitty side anyway, loser?"

Tomura shuffles over so he's on his side, the better to glare at his future lieutenant.

The kid holds the glare.

Takes it as a personal challenge, probably.

"You gotta know you'd hate it. You wanna murder shit literally and I want to murder it metaphorically, so basically, you'd nag me to murder shitty extras, and I'd nuke any of your shitty nomu you tried to sic on shitty extras, and either you'd end up nuking me or I'd end up shoving a Howitzer up your ass. We ain't ever gonna be on the same side unless one of us changes. And I ain't changing."

It's-- annoying.

Annoying, how even the kid's gaze is.

Annoying, how not-angry he sounds.

Why does the brat have to bring logic into this?

Tomura really isn't interested in logic, he already knows the kid's right, logically, because logic shoves those arguments at him daily.

"If you're going to be annoying and logical, brat, you can do it while you clean my neck."

"You got hands, Hands. Clean your own shitty neck, you're the one who scratched it."

"I can't see and it hurts and I dissolved the last cloth."

"It hurts because you fucking scratched it raw, loser, it'll hurt whichever of us does it. Stick some duct tape on your thumbs if you don't wanna melt the cloth, you're a tough little shit, you don't need me to baby you, you can clean your shitty neck yourself."

Annoying, that the brat won't cooperate.

Annoying, that he likes being called 'a tough little shit' by a kid 4 years his junior.

Annoying, that none of Option 1 is working.

There's nothing he has to offer that the kid wants, and Tomura's soft spot is spreading across his soul like mold and the kid doesn't even care.

Life is annoying, everything is unfair, and Tomura wants the universe and everything in it to burn.

(He's still not resigned to option 4.)

Chapter Text

Fishing is one of those hobbies Natsuo has that he never admits to having, and never tells That Man, Fuyumi, or Shouto he has.

He doesn't want That Man-- if he bothers commenting at all-- to belittle the hobby. (He knows he should be doing his essays). He doesn't want Fuyumi to use it as an excuse to make conversation over the dinner table. (It's not her fault that she would. She's got a limited range of topics that don't end up leading to That Man or Natsuo storming out of the room, and she'll take almost any subject that adds to them.) And as for Shouto, Natsuo never interracts with him anyway. How can he? That Man never let them interreact even before the Dorm system came into UA and they certainly don't interact after. Natsuo doesn't even know his little brother's phone number.

Fishing is a nice, peaceful, quiet period of relaxation.

It's his time, a time when he gets to clear his head and let his mind drift and imagine being raised in a nice, alternate universe where Mom didn't get driven insane by That Man, she got a divorce instead and left him and all five of them lived (emphasis on the lived, and emphasis on the five) together and non-heroically happily ever after.

So, yes. Natsuo, maybe, lies.

He invents a nice, pretty, camera-shy (like, impossible to photograph, she's that shy) girlfriend that he met over the Internet, with a quirk that's average and uninteresting, a sassy sense of humor so that he can say "Do you know what she said today--" and not get the Look from Fuyumi, and most importantly, who lives a 1-hour train trip away from Musutafu and close to some convenient estuaries, and invites Natsuo over any time he needs to get away from That Man.

Times like now. That Man is angry. Natsuo doesn't understand why, he never does, not really, but he watches the news sometimes, and the news aired three specials on All Might rescuing people during The Kamino Disaster and That Man didn't feature except in the background and scowling heavily, so Natsuo can guess, and Natsuo hates semester breaks all the way down to his bones.

Only 5 days to go until September, though, and he can be back to Medical Welfare-- back with teachers who don't think he's worthless just because he can only use mom's quirk; back with classmates who smile at him, and back to dumping the mess that is his home life onto Fuyumi's shoulders and pretending that doing that doesn't make him feel like a cowardly failure of a human being.

When That Man breaks the TV (All Might laughs too many times), Natsuo's 'girlfriend' invites him out fishing.

As always, That Man doesn't bother to bat an eye.

Natsuo could die out fishing and That Man wouldn't check or realise until the police called him, probably.

Not like he'd know Natsuo isn't answering his phone when he never calls, is it?

Fuyumi looks at him like she sees straight through him and she also sends him a look to say You can go and I'll be fine, I've got this, and Natsuo just-- lets her, like he always does, because his big sister is stronger than he is, has got the strength to feel something more than tired hate for That Man, somehow, and he still doesn't really know how she can look at That Man that way after--

Natsuo packs a suitcase.

He's used to doing it now.

He has a bro at college he met a year back who has a holiday place he's happy to give Natsuo the keys for, so to speak, as long as Natsuo mows the lawns and takes care of the place in general, and so far it's been all win-win.

He can breathe, fishing.

He can breathe, daydreaming about the alternate universe he wishes he lived in.

His girlfriend wants him to stay for the rest of the holidays, she'll give him a lift to Uni (she's got her driver's license, another convenience); Fuyumi says That Man is fine with (he always is, why would he care?); and Natsuo's free to daydream peacefully and worry about nothing (not even those essays he hasn't started yet) until Uni starts, which is exactly what he does.

He's still daydreaming about nothing two days later when Natsuo is accosted by hobos.

Two of them, specifically.

It's impossible to tell what their hair color is when it isn't stiff with mud, or something worse than mud. Some pale shade, maybe. Right now it's matted brown. Their eyes are both red, though, so maybe they're related? Their clothes are ripped (hobo 1's shirt is ragged scraps), they're covered in grime, neither of them have shoes, they smell worse than rotting fish, and Natsuo isn't going to lie, he has to fight back the urge to puke as they get closer, and there's a cowardly part of him-- the part that came here in the first place and that left sis to cope with the mess that's his family life just because she told him to-- that has no issues doing the math for what that aura of menace emanating from both of them, their muscles, the body-sized black garbage back hobo 2 is carrying, and Natsuo's current wallet-less, car-less state could mean for him right now.

(They could dump him in the river once they were done killing him, and he'd be lucky if some hero on patrol found his body later washed out to sea. Once his body bloated, he'd probably never even be ID'd.)

The nearly-has-a-degree-in-Medical Welfare part of him is pointing out that he should also be worrying a bit about hobos 1-2, too, because menacing or not, something went through hobo 1's chest, and something scratched up his neck, and his leg's splinted.

(The rest of him's putting it down to gang violence or hero-villain-related violence. It's more than a fishing accident, whatever it is. No normal person wouldn't be phased by those wounds, and these two are not bothered at all. They're not supporting each other, which is what a normal person with two fine legs would do for someone with a broken one, and they're not calling for help. They're not even leaning on a stick, and there are plenty of those around.)

They're arguing-- he can hear them arguing in soft mutters-- as they get nearer.

"--clearly isn't interested in helping us, and we're making time to the next town just fine--" hobo 1 says.

"--fuck we are -- 5 km per day--" 

"--not like you can't use the rest either-- makes you think he'll be any different from your last two efforts?"

A scornful scoff.

"Cuz this shitty extra ain't got a car, he ain't even got a bike, this fucker's going nowhere--"

Natsuo's hand clenches instinctively around his fishing rod.

"--calling anyone, we're calling my League--"

"--fuck you are. Try it'n I'll blast your fucking face off--"

"--both your hands first, brat--"

Natsuo hopes he's hearing them wrong, but whether he is or isn't, they're intimidating and he's not just imagining they're violent, those elbow jabs they're giving each other are definitely going to bruise, and Natsuo doesn't think he can be blamed for the fact that he's surreptitiously starting to wind in his reel and pack up his gear.

"Oh, for fuck's sake--" hobo 2 says, the first to notice what he's up to, abandoning his elbowing, and stepping closer impatiently, "Look, mister, quit trying to run, you couldn't anyway and you don't fuckin' need to. I'm the future number one hero, I ain't some fucking villain--"

"Yet," interjects hobo 1, with dark promise.

"Or ever, loser," hobo 2 flashes back at him, scowling fiercely. "And you," hobo 2 turns back to Natsuo, stretching out a filthy hand that somehow manages to be imperious, despite the fact that his nails are black and his hands are grimy and stained with something red/brown that Natsuo would honestly prefer not to think about, "axe the disgusted look before I blow it off your face and give me your phone while I'm still bein' nice about it. I need to make one fucking call, and it ain't like you got a reason to mind. You ain't using it right now and with that bait in this water you were gonna be standing round doing fuck-all catching a fat lot of nothing anyway."

Natsuo makes a tiny, unhappy noise.

It's true he hasn't caught anything yet but that doesn't mean he won't.

Also, just because he isn't using it doesn't mean he wants to hand it over, it's got pictures of Touya on it. It's got pictures of Mom on it.

"I ain't asking for charity, if that's what your problem is," hobo 2 sneers, a vein in his temple twitching. "One phone call costs you, what? Fucking nothing, probably, but whatever, I will give you 500 yen as an IOU if you let me make one shitty call, so cough it up."

Natsuo swallows. He's a little bit distracted from hobo 2 by hobo 1, whose eyes are dead and icy, spearing into him and sizing him up in a way that makes Natsuo feel like he's being filleted, gutted, weighed on the Scales of Life and found wanting.

Hobo 2 glances sideways, following the direction of his gaze, rolls his eyes and kicks hobo 1 squarely in the shins. "Stop fucking scaring him, loser, I can see what you're doing there, fuck you're being a bitch about this."

Hobo 1 snarls, kicks back, and Natsuo feels--

Frightened. Cornered.

He's got 2-to-4 inches on both of these strangers, but he still feels dwarfed.

He doesn't like being sworn at, and he doesn't like seeing people hit each other, either.

He should be used to it, he sees it often enough on the news, but it's different when it's in real life. It's different when he can hear the strike of flesh on flesh; makes him think of standing outside closed doors at night, holding a glass of hot milk and listening to Mom yelling and That Man yelling back, not really understanding why, and Touya holding one arm, trying to budge him, to tell him he needs to go back to bed because the door's locked, Touya's tried it, and there's nothing either of them can do--

"Oi?" Natsuo checks back into reality as hobo 2 snaps his fingers in front of his face. "You with us, mister?"

"Is that blood?" Natsuo hears himself say.

It's rhetorical, but, "No!" hobo 1 hisses anyway, icily defensive, tugging the shredded remnants of his shirt down in a futile effort to hide it where puss and blood are mixing.

(What did this to them?)

(Who did this to them?)

"Fuckin' loser," hobo 2 says, side-eyeing it dismissively and turning back to Natsuo with an expression that says drop it. "It is, but it's fine, he's got a fuckton of HP, it ain't gonna kill him. Let me make this nice and simple for you: Do you have a fucking phone or not?"

"Do you want me to call a hospital?" Natsuo offers, slightly queasily.

Hobo 2 steps fully in the way of Hobo 1, blocking his line of sight.

"Know any freebie villain hospitals around that'll take losers like him in no questions asked and not fuck 'em over?"

"..."

"Didn't think so, Spikey-hair. I doubt you know shit about anything cuz you don't look 20, so hand the fuck over your phone if you have one and let me handle this shit, 'kay? You ain't qualified, you don't have a fucking clue what needs to be done. I do. I've got this, he's got this, so don't fucking puke like All Might's just punched you in the stomach over a little bit of puss."

(Is hobo 2 speaking from experience?)

(Is hobo 2 a villain?)

Hobo 2 doesn't look all that old, and Natsuo doesn't want to believe that All Might hits people behind closed doors, too.

"I'm not going to puke."

"Well, good, cuz I ain't cleaning your shit up if you do. Fucking extras," hobo 2 sighs, sounding Done, maybe a tiny bit relieved. "Look, I know you got a phone, everyone has a phone, so chill the fuck out and call UA for me if lending your phone's such a problem for you. They got a website if you don't know the number. UA.com. Even a baby can type it."

UA?

"UA?" Natsuo echoes stupidly.

The look hobo 2 sends him is scorching.

Natsuo feels his soul shrivelling.

"I've been missing for weeks, I got shit I gotta call in, this loser to take care of, Sensei will give me the Done Look if I gotta get catch up classes which I fucking will if we keep crawling along at snail speed like we've been doing, yes UA."

Natsuo exhales, slowly.

Classes + Sensei = students.

They don't just look not that old, hobos 1 & 2 are kids.

Not only kids, UA kids.

Okay, so Natsuo is only 19. But they are just kids. He can see it now he's looking for it. No wonder he's got whole inches on them.

And--

In light of this, he can see more things.

Like, this isn't murder either of them are radiating, is it?

They're radiating the same aura of puffed up menace Touya used to radiate when he tried to get between That Man and mom, sometimes, or That Man and Natsuo, even though That Man never did touch Natsuo, never saw him at all--

Hobo 2 is even planted physically between Natsuo and Hobo 1, and why didn't Natsuo realize sooner what that meant? He should have, he blames other people often enough for not looking and not seeing what that meant looking at Shouto and Mom, and he feels sick, thinking anyone could look at him and see the same thing he sees in That Man. With the sickness comes a flood of self-loathing for the fact that he's scared of them in the first place. They're probably Shouto's age. Maybe they're even in Shouto's classes, Natsuo wouldn't know, it's not like Natsuo ever watches the Sports Festival. (His college also has class presentations on that clash with it that he does his best for and that That Man and sis never attend, and even if he didn't, he wouldn't watch anyway because he doesn't like watching people beat each other up, and the whole thing feels too much like supporting That Man's dream of what he forced Natsuo's little brother to be.)

(Is someone making these kids go to UA and hitting them if they won't, too?)

(But if they are, it's not like there's anything he can do. He's never been able do to anything, has he?)

"You don't need to pay me," he mutters, pulling out his phone.

"The fuck I don't, loser, I don't take free shit from anyone, I'm a hero not a fucking leech," kid 2 sneers.

"I thought those two words were synonyms," kid 1 sniffs.

"You'd be the expert on leeching, wouldn't ya, Sir Tax Evasion?" kid 2 says, watching impatiently while Natsuo unlocks his phone and-- with only slight reluctance-- hands it over.

Kid 1 lunges for the phone the moment it's in reach, expression murderous. Natsuo counts grass blades to distract himself, tells himself it's somehow friendly (it is, right? Maybe? It has to be, or they wouldn't be protecting each other) and tries not to worry about his phone too much or about who's winning their tousling or why they are fighting in the first place (are they that competitive about who gets to call first? He'll let them each make a call, he's a decent person)-- and then there's a dial-tone, one of them's succeeded in calling someone, and the phone is ringing out and getting through to the factory default because whoever they're is ringing is currently busy and unavailable, and ran out of fucks to give when it came to spending the 5 minutes of their life it would have taken them to record a personalized answering machine message.

The message instructs the kid to leave a message after the beep.

"You could just not leave a message," kid 1 tries sullenly, from-- Natsuo looks up, briefly-- some variant of a partial headlock, still straining for the phone.

Natsuo looks back at the grass.

(The grass isn't helping too much; the spots where both of them are standing are redish.)

Natsuo tries the river instead.

The phone beeps, about five seconds tick by and finally, kid 2 seems to accept nobody is going to be answering today, and produces a stiff, scowling:

"Sensei? It's me. I'm calling to let you know I ain't dead, I kinda got 16 bodies plus one slightly-injured villain I need to do something about so if you wanna be backup I wouldn't say no, and I also wouldn't say no to the Gummy-crone either if she's free-- literally, cuz 'free' is about all Hands' budget stretches to these days--"

"I will throttle you, brat," kid 1 says sullenly.

"--or any day, probably. And it ain't a priority but if you're coming anyway then you can bring me shoes and some clothes, too, cuz walking without shoes sucks. And Sensei?" Kid 2's tone devolves from sullen to accusing, "I know we're on holidays right now but it wouldn't kill you to answer your phone anyway, it wouldn't kill you to answer it even during bonus class if that's what you're busy with, cuz you're the one who wasted 1/2 an hour of our lives last month telling us we needed to send you more than a fucking geo-location if we had shit we needed a pro for. And if you're ignoring my call because you're giving shitty Deku pointers right now then you're on my shitlist and I don't want your backup-- and you can forget about getting a birthday present from me either, I ain't even sending you a card," kid 2 snarls, and finally hangs up with an unnecessarily aggressive slam of one thumb.

"You send your teachers cards?"

"Shut the fuck up, Hands. Oi, you, Spikey-hair."

Natsuo looks up.

Kid 2 tosses back the phone; Natsuo catches it.

"Have fun catching nothing, Spikey-hair. I got your number memorized. When I'm back at UA I'll transfer you your 500 yen, so don't think I owe you shit for this. If Sensei calls you back, you can tell him we're headed down there, he's a fucking badass he'll be able to find us," kid 2 gestures south with authority, which is fine, there is a town there, but Natsuo knows for a fact the busses don't come up this way so it's a 20km walk they're looking at and these two kids don't even have shoes.

Kid 1 seems to be having similar reservations-- or maybe it's the words 'find us' kid 1 minds.

"Who are you both?" Natsuo asks. (They know his number; their teacher might be calling him; he should probably check.)

Kids 1 and 2 exchange a look.

"None of your business," kid 1 says, coolly.

"You been living under a rock or something these last few months?" kid 2 frowns. "I mean, I get that you don't know this loser when he's not in uniform, but I won the fucking Sports Festival for Year 1 this year, how the fuck do you not know me?"

"I don't watch it," Natsuo admits, a bit apologetically.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't know who won.

Bakugou Katsuki won, but there's no way this kid is Bakugou Katsuki.

Bakugou has blond hair, not brown, and anyway, Hawks and the HPSC rescued Bakugou weeks ago, that kid's safely in UA and, as far as Natsuo knows, studying and hopefully getting some therapy.

Kid 2 does look a bit familiar though, now he looks, so Natsuo, frowning slightly, pulls his phone out to check, just in case Bakugou managed to get himself kidnapped again and he somehow missed it, but there's just the same old headlines from weeks back.

RELIEF OVER KIDNAPPING VICTIM'S SAFE RETURN

ALIVE AND UNHARMED: STUDENT BAKUGOU RESCUED

TEEN, 16, RESCUED BY HPSC

Photo-Bakugou-- who really does look similar to this kid, except his cheeks are maybe a bit rounder, less hungry-looking, and, most importantly, his hair is much lighter, which definitely means he can't be the same person-- scowls sullenly and--

"The fuck?" kid 2 says, from somewhere a lot closer than 'the direction of that random town,' reaching past Natsuo's shoulder and jabbing a finger past him to scroll down to an article further down where there's a photo of some tired-looking man in a suit under a headline:

UA ISSUES APPOLOGY OVER KIDNAPPING: DORM SYSTEM TO BE INTRUDUCED

"What?" kid 1 says from somewhere further away.

Kid 2 sucks in a breath that's not all that steady, not answering, eyes glued to the phone screen, scrolling (he's not even backseat driving the article search, Natsuo's basically just a glorified phone holder right now, and kid 2's hands have literal steam coming off them.)

His free hand is clenching and unclenching slowly, and he looks mostly disbelieving.

"What's got you so upset, brat? Show me," kid 1 snaps, much closer now, also peering past.

"I ain't upset, and if you're going for a sneak attack right now, you're fucking dead," kid 2 says, but it's reflexive, maybe slightly--

(Confused?)

(Hurt?)

(Just angry?)

It's hard to tell, he's not easy to read and when kid 1 starts wheezing with laughter, reading him becomes impossible because any trace of anything that isn't anger gets washed away by a tidal wave of pure rage.

"Shut up, shithead."

"Admit it, brat: Society is disgusting. We would never do that."

"I said shut the fuck up or I'll snap the end off that fishing rod and spike you a new hole to match the first one I made."

Kid 1-- who is suicidal and maybe a bit mean-- keeps wheezing. (There's something in his eyes though, that says he's also angry, and Natsuo doesn't get why, not really. Sure, the HPSC PR are using a kid's kidnapping to make themselves look good, it's a PR whitewash and they're capitalizing on it, which feels like something a good person wouldn't do, but the HPSC let That Man be number 2, so Natsuo never had illusions to be disillusioned from for them. Maybe these kids did, though? Looking that alike, it's probably not the first time someone's mistaken kid 2 for Bakugou. Maybe he overidentifies; doesn't like the uncomfortable look on photo-Bakugou's face as the HPSC representative stands next to him and pats him on the shoulder, and maybe that's what's upsetting them here. Or maybe it's a false ID because they're in trouble with some authority and they're counting on mistaken identity to breeze on by and that's why they're so hung up on this and he's suddenly trying really hard not to think about what '16 bodies, Sensei' and that big, black garbage bag might mean.)

Natsuo feels--

Like he should be calling the police, maybe, because they're hiding-slash-lying about their identities, they say they're carrying dead bodies, and Natsuo's scared of both of them. But on the other hand, they're kids, and scary or not, one of them's bleeding, and both of them could use a shower, kid 2 has spiky hair that sticks out everywhere like Touya's used to, this close he can see both of them look exhausted, and maybe Natsuo's projecting, but if they trusted their parents or had adults they could depend on-- someone they could call on, somewhere safe to go-- they'd be calling them when call 1 failed instead of 'no one'.

Natsuo runs a nervous hand along his gelled spikes.

"Do you two... Um. Have another number you want me to call?"

"Yes," kid 1 says immediately, and rattles off a string of digits.

"Don't, he's a fucking villain," kid 2 snaps.

Natsuo half wonders if they both are, but there's a chance it's a decent adult, right?

There's a chance one of these kids knows someone they'll let help them, even a shady someone, and that's a chance Natsuo is willing to take.

At least the phone gets picked up this time. He gets static, and then a voice that sounds a lot like kid 1 on a bad line. "Kurogiri's busy right now, and if that's you, Giran, then yes, we do need that gaming console, that's not up for negotiation. And while we're on the subject of negotiation, next time, before you try to sell me on whatever new new members you want to introduce to the League, do a background check and e-mail it to me first so that I don't need to wreck yet another warehouse murdering them. I've got better things to do with my Saturd--"

Not-Bakugou hits the red hang-up button.

Appallingly, he's chortling, a weird, hyena-like cackle, and he doesn't sound upset at all about the fact that kid 1 knows people who murder other people on Saturdays.

(Was that somehow a metaphor? Maybe he's doing job interviews and is murdering the chances of potential candidates?)

"Looks like I ain't the only one who got fuckin' replaced, loser. 'We'd never' my foot. What'd they do, source a fucking robot to do ya job for ya?"

"Do we look we have that kind of budget, brat? I can't afford a robot, I can't even afford you. They--" kid 1 sucks in a sharp breath, eyes glittering hate, thin hands clenching and unclenching. "The bastards Twiced me. That's what they did. They dared to Twice me. Stop. Laughing. or I will decay you to dust. I am supposed to be irreplaceable. Sensei told me I am irreplaceable. How dare they replace me!"

Kid 2 keeps snickering, because kid 2 is self evidently also petty, mean, and has no self-preservation instincts.

Natsuo swallows. (He's fairly sure 'twiced' is not a word.)

What does he do next?

Call the police?

Call a hero, maybe?

Walk away?

They're two scary and horrible kids.

They know villains or very mean business owners and he's done what he can.

But.

But.

He's not calling up That Man, and the police won't give a shit about these two kids, Natsuo knows, not really. The police care about boxes, and these kids are ticking off 'dangerous' and 'illegal' and 'villainous' beautifully. They're not going to care that they're also ticking off 'wary' and 'hurt,' not if they keep glaring murder and telling people they're fine. Nobody looked into anything when Mom went mad, nobody looked into anything when Touya-- not even when he burnt himself practicing, and nobody looked into anything about Shouto, either, not even when he hid behind Mom's legs whenever he went out in public and glared at That Man like he wanted That Man dead. Natsuo-- he isn't now, not really, but Natsuo knows what it's like to be stuck where you are because you have nowhere else you can go.

Natsuo swallows bravely.

Bro, he mentally apologizes, I am so, so sorry for my bad life choices.

Sis, Mom. I'm sorry I fucked up.

Touya, if they murder me, I hope I go wherever you are.

Shouto, I'm pretty sure you won't even notice I'm not there, but... I hope you stay safe, don't kill yourself training, and eventually find a way to be happy.

"Well," Natsuo clears his throat, "it doesn't look like either of your emergency contacts wants to know you right now, so-- I mean, I have ground rules, like no hitting each other and no killing me or each other or anyone or-- or anything, and those clothes are definitely going in the incinerator, but I have some spare clothes and some ramen in the cupboard if you want to come back to my place--" Its not my place, I am so sorry, bro, "--and have a shower and have a cup of tea and a rest before you go. And I have a first aid kit."

Two identical, wary-slash-hostile looks are shot his way.

"...You're not a hero, are you?" kid 1 says the word like it's an insult, eyes narrowing.

"No. But I can call one if you have one you want?"

"I don't want you to call one. I want to know why you are being nice," kid 1 sneers, like being nice is a crime.

"...because I'm a decent human being?" Natsuo tries, not really meaning for it to come out as much of a question as it does.

"He means cuz we look like shit and he's feeling sorry for us, cuz like I keep telling ya, the majority of society don't suck. Well, thanks but no thanks, we're fucking fine and we don't need your pity, Spikey-hair, and we don't go into strange people's houses and we don't eat the shit they try to feed us cuz we ain't four or Deku, we've got fucking common sense. Fuckin' creep."

"Agreed," kid 1 nods, accepting this extremely unfair-- and contradictory; how can he both not suck and be a creep?-- translation without question, cracked, chapped lips curling. "If you think being on 60% HP means I'm a weakling who needs help, you will find you are dead wrong."

Natsuo feels--

"I'm not doing it to be creepy. I've never actually been called creepy before actually, It's just--" Natsuo trails off lamely. "Society can be shit sometimes, and you two look like you could use some help."

Kid 1 side-eyes him.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Spikey-hair," kid 2 scoffs, looking between both of them, radiating Unimpressed. "Stop encouraging him. Society's fucking fine so don't go round pretending everyone's life's shit just cuz your life is. My life is fucking A+, and I ain't got a problem with it."

Kid 2 is leaving red footprints on the ground right now, so Natsuo feels safe in sending an unimpressed look straight back.

"Fuck off, Spikey-hair," kid 2 says, eyes narrowing dangerously, "You don't get to look at me like that, you known me for ten minutes, and that sure as fuck don't make you family. Just cuz I borrowed your shitty phone and made one call does not mean you get to pity me, I ain't weak, and I don't fucking need it, so you can take your pity, buzz off and die."

It's a kind of little-big brother syndrome, probably, that stops him from backing off right then and there.

It's not that he likes being told to go die (who would?) but it's just--

That's how Touya used to sound, used to look, sometimes, before--

Just before.

When Mom used to ask him if he was OK, tell him needed to rest, to stop pushing himself, and he used to do that same I'll hurt myself if I want to, I'll do what I want, I'm not weak, I'm not, I'm fine, look at me because if you're weak, what right in That Man's house do you have to exist? And after Mom was put away by That Man-- when there was no one left to make him rest or stop him--

He was just a kid. Just a stupid kid, maybe only a few years younger than these two.

"Look, you two," Natsuo clears his throat. "Where I come from--" where he wishes he'd come from; the alternate universe he dreams of coming from-- "decent people don't let other people walk on with broken legs and bleeding chests without helping them. I'm a decent person, so even if you two don't need it I would like it if you two stayed at my place, not the streets or the woods or wherever you've been staying and once you've washed and had something to eat and I've patched you up with the first aid kit, you can think about what you want to do next. I promise--" and he means it, too-- "I won't call the police or Child Protection Services on you."

Kid 1 eyes him appraisingly, red eyes narrowing.

"Are you a villain?"

"No."

"That's what you would say if you were one, though. Why aren't you calling the police if you're not a villain?"

Natsuo hesitates.

"Mm. Do you live with anyone else?" kid 1 checks, apparently accepting silence as an answer.

(Definitely these two are in some kind of trouble with the authorities. That, or they're plotting his murder.)

Natsuo feels sweat beading on his back.

"Not here in this holiday place I don't. My family aren't really, um, interested in fishing. But they do call quite often, and they'd be worried if I didn't reply."

In his dreams they would, anyway.

Kid 1 'hmm's again, like he can see straight through him.

(Kid 1's chest is still oozing, though, and Natsuo is-- kind of, in a non-suicidal, non-dramatic, lowkey kind of way-- willing to gamble his life on getting kid 1 some proper medical help.)

Kid 1 isn't going to commit himself, Natsuo can tell, but he's at least leaning on his side of the fence. If only he can get kid 2.

Natsuo martials his forces and tries his best to look firm and reliable and unthreatening.

"I promise I am not a creepy person. If you're scared I'm going to drug you and sell you into child trafficking or something or kidnap you, I can understand that, but I promise I'm not going to do anything like that. I'm a regular, 19-year-old college student, my name is Natsuo, and I am not a villain or a horrible person. I'm just a middling student doing Medical Welfare."

"I ain't scared of shit, Spikey-hair, and I don't give a fuck about your degree. Like you could do shit to me anyway, you couldn't even lift 100 kg with those arms."

What part of 100 kg is an 'even'? Natsuo wonders.

"Then there's no reason not to accept a cup of coffee and something to eat or to say no to my first aid kit," is what Natsuo says out loud instead, though.

"Just cuz there ain't no reason not to doesn't mean I gotta. Not with some fucked-in-the-head loser who's being nice."

(He's too much like Touya.)

"You can pay me," Natsuo tries, because kid 2 was happy to accept the phone help if he could pay for it, right? "It won't be charity, if you don't want to owe me."

Kid 2 narrows his red eyes hostilely.

It's not an immediate no, so Natsuo rolls with it.

"I need the back lawns mowed, I have three days' dishes to wash, and I have some old crates out the back that need to be carted to the rubbish collection point for landfill that I can't move, and I have four essays due next week that I haven't even started on."

Kid 2 raises an unimpressed eyebrow.

"You asking me to do your homework for ya right now, Spikey-hair? Cuz that shit's fucking illegal."

"I'm not asking you to do my essays, or anything illegal. I'm just hiring you so that I have time to focus on them. I'm not going to pretend I'm not doing it to be nice, we both know that's a lie, but I was going to hire someone anyway, so there's no reason it shouldn't be you if you know how to do dishes and mow lawns. And I'd feel better if your friend got a first aid kit, and I think you'd feel better if he did, too."

"He ain't my friend, Spikey-hair."

(Kid 1 sends him a sour look, but doesn't disagree.)

That's not a categorical no, though. Not from either of them.

If they're like Touya then they won't like being told what to do, so Natsuo forebears to tell him to just start walking already and instead, patiently, unassumingly, waits. (He kind of wishes he wasn't 4 inches taller, he's sure that isn't working in his favor right now.)

"...you got antibiotics in your shitty first aid kit?" kid 2 says, after a while.

"Yes."

"Bandages?"

"Yes."

"A decent scalpel so I can cut his fingers off if he tries shit?"

(Kid 1 kicks him in the shins.)

"Please don't," Natsuo says, mildly.

"...show me your quirk," kid 2 says, after a while, glaring at him some more.

Natsuo hesitates. He shouldn't, he's not licensed, and while it's technically allowed to use your quirk for strictly recreational use on public property if you aren't hurting anyone else, you need to be very sure you aren't accidentally going to frostbite some rare, native flower before That Man won't sneer at you like you're something he'd scrape off the rug for risking it.

But That Man's not here, and it's just as clear that kid 2 is assessing if he's a threat, and if he doesn't know what Natsuo can do, kid 2 won't be coming anywhere near his home.

Natsuo bends and touches a hand to the ground and grows an unassuming, friendly snowman.

"...Huh," kid 2 says, circling it and giving it a kick with one foot, apparently convinced. (The snow smears red.) "Ain't the shittiest quirk I've seen. But we can take that quirk if you try anything, Spikey-hair, so you better not. Fair warning, before you commit yourself, though. My quirk's Explosion, so if you light up any sparks, the shit I touch will blow, so basically you're looking at a nuked lawn if you got a petrol mower. Hands' here is Decay so if he touches anything with all five fingers or toes he'll also nuke it, so don't shake hands with him. He's also a villain I've got under arrest-- fuck you, don't give me that look, you fuckin' are-- so don't tell him shit you don't want getting back to the League if he gets away, cuz the little shit wants to nuke the universe. If you still want us to stay, that's your bad life choice, it ain't on us. If you don't, you'll still be a decent human or whatever, cuz we don't need a place to stay, we're fucking fine. Ain't like it's cold out this time of year." 

Natsuo feels a stab of something.

The snow's still red.

They don't even have long sleeves.

"You can still stay," he says to both of them, slightly rougher than he means to, and he's still not sure why he's doing this, not really-- (well, he does, but doesn't really get why it's now he suddenly cares about doing something decent, it's not like he's ever stood up for people who needed it before, not successfully, anyway-- not sis with That Man; not Mom in hospital; not Shouto with hero training and UA; not Touya with--).  Just, never. "I have an electric mower. It does an OK job."

Kid 2 narrows his eyes; makes him sweat a long five minutes, before finally shrugging.

"...Fine. Whatever, loser. I will murder your lawn, it and your shitty dishes are fucking dead, and, Hands, you better not fuckin' nuke him. He ain't in the party, but he's a quest giver, and you're the one needs his bonus gear so don't go nuking the rest of his shit."

Natsuo hopes these are good things.

(There's nothing they own to collect, aside from the (maybe) body bag; kid 2 tosses a small knife up and down as he walks once Natsuo has got his gear together and is leading the way back to his shitty little holiday home that's almost definitely about to be shittier, and it doesn't take any imagination at all to read the I will kill you quirkless if you mess with me inherent there.)

Kid 2 still keeps himself firmly between Natsuo and kid 1.

They don't trust him at all, not really, and why should they?

They don't know him, he could be anyone plotting anything, and they're only going with him because neither of them has anyone else to call or anywhere else to go.

Neither of them are going to thank him for feeling sorry for them though-- neither of them, in fact, bickering behind him about who knows what this time (whether or not one of them can log into their gaming account and check their PVP status on Natsuo's phone, he thinks)-- even really seems to get that there's a reason anyone should be feeling sorry for them.

So, Natsuo crushes the feelings back down in the little box that lives inside his heart, chains the lid back down, and thinks about more useful things instead, like is there any way he can make them stay the night, and how can he get either of these two delinquents to open up to him enough to give him the number of someone who they'll actually let help them?

"Dabi..."

Dabi waits.

"Somebody called Kurogiri's number today."

Dabi waits.

"And that somebody was not Giran."

Dabi waits some more. Admires his nails.

"They know our recruiting schedule."

(They have one?)

"And they know I play games."

(That's an un-evil trait. Dabi hopes Shigaraki keeps that under wraps.)

"So, they obviously need to die."

"So kill them."

"I can't this evening. Sensei wants to meet with me to talk with me about All For One this evening."

"Well, I can't either," Dabi holds his ground. "I have a meeting with Hawks. Get someone else to do it."

"I need subtlety. They have a private number so I don't know who they are, all I know is where they are because Sensei told me. I can get nomus to do the killing part just fine, but I need someone who won't alert heroes--" bye bye Mr. Compress "--by killing the whole district--" bye bye Himiko "--and who can remember to check the call log--" bye bye Twice "--before they lose or destroy the phone--" (it was only one time Magne accidentally magnetised that phone) "--to make sure we've gotten rid of the right people." (Okay, so they need more than to just sic a nomu on the house and hope for the best.)

"Kurogiri sounds perfect."

"Kurogiri needs to be on standby in case any heroes find me or Sensei. Besides, he'll know I answered his phone if I tell him why I need them dead and he hates me doing that. And Spinner won't kill random NPCs because he likes Stain."

Dabi eyes his boss.

His boss eyes him back.

So that's the real reason he's needed, is it? Dabi can drive, and Dabi can pass his bluff checks for why he needs to be driving in the first place, and Dabi has zero problems with casual murder.

"The earliest I can schedule them in for murder is tomorrow," Dabi says grudgingly.

"Morning?"

Asshole. Clone Shigaraki knows Dabi doesn't get up before noon.

"End of day."

"..." glares Clone Shigaraki. "...Fine."

Surprisingly, kids 1 & 2 clean up okay after they shower.

They argue about who gets to wash first, whether they do/don't need to wear house slippers (who doesn't wear house slippers? where has kid 1 come from?), who's going to use the first aid kit (kid 1 won't let Natsuo anywhere near him; kid 2 insists he knows what he's doing and doesn't want Nasuo near him either, even when Nasuo reminds them again that he's one year off graduating with a Medical Welfare degree and is definitely more qualified than either of them when it comes to first aid kits); whether they're going to accept duct tape around their fingers; whether each of them can be trusted not to (if Natsuo's hearing this right) call their respective allies and/or minions; what constitutes basic guest ettiquite-- (Kid 2 is very definite that the above includes house slippers.)

But eventually, Natsuo's (friend's) house is declared to be a no PVP zone, whatever that means, and they both come back downstairs, drowning in Natsuo's T-shirt and sweatpants and no longer smelling like they are rotting, and Natsuo can admit to feeling more confident about his life choices.

Post-wash, not-Bakugou's hair is revealed to be ash-blond, and instead of muddy brown, he's got fair skin and looks a lot more Bakugou Katsuki than he did before. In fact, he sort of looks identical. If Natsuo didn't know for a fact he wasn't--

He doesn't seem too hurt, not like kid 1 does, but he's favoring one leg, and Natsuo has no idea if that's just because of a cut on his foot or anything more sinister.

Kid 1-- revealed under the dirt to be a thin, pallid teen(?) who has blue-white hair and needs to drink more, and who clearly isn't fond of the bandages he's been patched up with going by the way he keeps picking at them-- eyes the whole place with a sour air. He doesn't seem to have a clue what he's supposed to do inside a home (search it for CCTV and bugs, apparently, based on his first step; these kids are definitely in trouble with the authorities.) 

Kid 1 twitches whenever the wood creaks or the trees creak outside, eyes the kotatsu like he's never seen one in his life, and mostly seems content to trail after kid 2 sneering over kid 2's shoulder while kid 2 does things like the dishes (kid 2 is not impressed by the stuck eggs on those pans; Natsuo, kid 2 tells him bluntly, is a shit house owner); lawns (kid 1 comes out in hives from the cut grass, but luckily a few antihistamines fix him up, at least once he'll take them. For a worrying ten minutes, he just scratches absently at his exposed arm and eyes the small pack of tablets like he's never encountered one before in his life and thinks they're poison); moves the 15 crates... (They weigh 150 kg each, and yes, Natsuo did ask kid 2 to do this, but he'd kind of assumed kid 2 would, you know, unpack them a bit given he's hurt his leg but the kid's lifting two at a time--)

He's not even struggling, as far as Natsuo can tell.

(He's supposed to be doing essays. Sis would tell him he's procrastinating.)

He's worried, though, okay?

Anyone would be worried.

Kid 2's going to strain something.

Kid 1 seems to agree. They're arguing about something (they're always arguing). Kid 1 points at kid 2's leg, the crates; kid 2 puffs up like Touya always used to whenever anyone except Mom told him he should rest, and then-- a slight scuffle, but kid 1 does get a hand to those crates, touching the crates just barely-- and they crumble away to dust. Literal dust. One moment they're there, and the next there's nothing on the back lawn but dusty, bare earth and a handful of straggling, yellow weeds.

It warrants a thank you in Natsuo's book (he's definitely thankful for kid 1, even if he's 90% sure that is a fineable offense and a very terrifying quirk), but no, what it gets is yet another argument about who had that, who has who's back, and what strictly counts as the no PVP zone.

Natsuo procrastinates some more.

He looks up the Sports Festival. The rescue that splashed across the headlines two weeks ago (again). Scrolls through the images (again.)

The hair and the expression are exact.

If it's not Bakugou here, then Bakugou has a twin.

Does he have a twin?

Natsuo wishes he had Shouto's number.

Bakugou's in his class, right? Maybe he could check with the actual Bakugou if he has cousins or relatives. Cut through the red tape, so to speak.

That Man has Shouto's number, but Natsuo isn't texting him.

Maybe sis?

He'd been planning on ramen today, ramen and eggs are really all he knows how to cook, but there is rice and seaweed sheets buried in the cupboard somewhere, and today, Natsuo breaks them out. Rice is rice, right?

But no, rice is not rice, not when not-Bakugou is around, you need to rinse it, you need to use just the right amount of water, you can't just slosh it in and hope for the best, that's not how this works--

And so Natsuo sits dutifully at the table, booted out of his own kitchen, and lets his injured guest cook for him and lets kid 1 snort at him.

For what it's worth, neither of the two delinquents kills him or each other or destroys any of the furniture, during the meal or after.

He still can't get them to share a number of someone they'll let help them.

("This is a no PVP zone," kid 1 sniffs, stressing the words, when he tries, with an accusing tone in his voice like Natsuo's just suggested throwing out the recycling without sorting it.

"Fuck off, I ain't a fucking cheat," kid 2 sneers down his nose at him, too, when Natsuo suggests, you know, maybe calling their teacher back now that teaching hours are over.

Natsuo would call their teacher back anyway, because nobody who cooks rice like kid 2 does can actually be an evil villain so kid 2 is, Natsuo hopes he is, just socially awkward and isn't calling anyone creepy either, but kid 2 has deleted the call from the log; something about not giving out private numbers of pro heroes to random shitty extras, he has standards.)

(Natsuo forebears to point out he has a name.)

Getting them to stay the night is a challenge Natsuo saves until after they're both fed and his dishes are done.

If it goes poorly, they may storm out; he wants them fed before they go if they do.

(Obviously it doesn't hurt that the dishes are done, either.)

Natsuo picks a good moment, he thinks-- nobody's actively fighting, anyway-- and points out (not that both of them have dark circles like they haven't slept properly in weeks; not that there are bears in these parts and he's worried about them; not that it's going to rain tonight) but that it's rational to stay since their teacher may call him back, and this house will be easier for anyone to find than the road, and they won't make much progress anyway since they do need to sleep at some point and that kid 2 seems to be a pretty good cook so Natsuo wouldn't say no to breakfast and he'll even pay for it because he doesn't like getting charity either, all of which is 100% true.

Kid 2 narrows his eyes like he sees straight through him.

"...Do you have a computer we can use if we stay," kid 1 checks.

"Yes," Natsuo says, mentally sacrificing his backup school laptop without hesitation.

"With a good VPN?" kid 1 says.

"..."

"Never mind, of course you don't. I will install one."

"What the fuck do you need a PC for, loser?"

"For showing you my characters. Obviously."

"..."

"Don't give me that look, I know you play it too."

"You fuckin' kidding me right now, loser?"

"I'm not the one being irrational here, brat. The quest giver is giving us bonus supplies and a new quest, and he's a 10 HP NPC we can murder if he turns on us. I'm not sleeping in a ditch when I can sleep in a room without midges dying in my blood and neither are you. Stop being annoying, with a computer we can Google what's actually been happening so you're being practical and strategic, not accepting help, your annoying UA would applaud you for it if they hadn't CGI'd a fake you into the press for their PR, and my characters are worth watching so take an interest in them. Anyway, you know as well as I do that it's going to rain tonight."

"I don't give a shit about insects and I don't give a shit about a couple of raindrops, either, so you and your 'characters' can--"

Natsuo sends kid 1 an encouraging look and a thumbs up-- he's rooting for kid 1-- and leaves them to it.

(Kid 1 wins.)

Natsuo checks on them later-- around 11pm or so. Kid 1 has discovered the electric carpet, and has rejected the bed in favour of sleeping on the floor on top of it. He's curled in on himself somewhere under a nest of blankets and not-Bakugou is just-- sitting there, eyes hostile, ninety degrees from the door and the window, keeping half an eye on both while tapping away on the laptop.

What? the kid mouths, glaring at him.

Natsuo signs back a Do you need anything, (No, that sour look says, kid 2 doesn't need shit) and Natsuo doesn't really think more about it until he checks on them again around 3 am or so-- disturbed from essay-writing by low voices-- and finds they've swapped; not-Bakugou is the one sleeping, and kid 1 is awake, sitting in front of him, not gaming, not on the laptop at all, just keeping up a not-very-interesting and very one-sided discussion about how annoying scented washing powder is because some people have allergies. (He does realise kid 2's snoring, right, and isn't going to be replying?)

Whatever works for them though, Natsuo guesses.

He's just about to go when a floorboard creaks under his feet.

He doesn't even see him move.

One moment kid 1's back is to the door; the next kid 1 is twisted 180 facing him in an aggressive crouch, lips twisted into a snarl, eying him with the burning hostility of a dog unwilling to share its bone with anyone else.

(A vicious, angry pitbull dog.)

Natsuo feels an instinctive bite of fear and a spike of empathy jabbing at him underneath it because he gets it, wishes he didn't, but he does. God, but it reminds Natsuo on some painful level of taking turns with Touya trying to keep watch outside of Mom's door, because maybe if he was there, if he could somehow stop That Man and not be just brushed aside--

Of course they're scared of him, despite staying; despite the fact that he hasn't hurt them; despite the food; despite that they're talking about how easily they can kill him. He's taller than they are, and he's heavier, and he's got an OK quirk, for all that he's never honed it. He's also got the same build as That Man, and it's not like you can prove you won't be an asshole just because you haven't been yet. And Natsuo knows better than anyone even if Mom and Touya shielded him from the worst of it that you're not safe just because you're sleeping.

Drink? Natsuo signs. Coffee?

Kid 1 doesn't say yes or no, just keeps glaring. Natsuo makes him one anyway, because he's already making one for himself because he's got three assignments due in four days that he hasn't started yet, and he also-- after a moment of consideration-- decides to split the ramen he's cooking with the guy, too, and leaves both of them there before quietly slipping back to his room to wrestle with homework.

(He doesn't want to do homework. He wants to help them.)

He wants at least to ID them.

It's going to be impossible to photograph them with them keeping watch like that, Natsuo can already tell.

Even before sis texts him through Shouto's number with a lot of heart emoticons, he can tell that.

So, he's going to have to do more than text through a photo, and his palms are already sweaty and itching. Natsuo stares at the phone for a shameful while because it's stupid, anyway. Bakugou's at UA, if he has missing relatives the police or the heroes will be handling it, and if Shouto wanted to talk to him, Shouto would have shared his phone number. Shouto never has. Natsuo can take the hint. It's not like his little brother has much of a reason to want to communicate with the family rejects. That Man didn't raise him to have an interest in failures.

He does text in the end, though.

He shouldn't, but he does.

(Maybe he wants an excuse, a reason, to talk to his little brother.)

(It's not like That Man ever lets Shouto talk to him without one, is it?)

Shouto, this is Natsuo he types lamely, after ten whole minutes.

I know we don't talk much and you probably don't have my number saved. I'm sorry this is so late.

Can he retract those messages?

Is it too late?

He hasn't even said anything of what he wants or means to, he's probably just annoyed his little brother who has better things to do with his evening (like sleeping) than be spammed with messages by Natsuo.

I bumped into a couple of kids today.

They're injured, they seem homeless, but neither of them will let me call the police or a hospital.

One of them says he's Bakugou. Is Bakugou-- he shouldn't be asking this, it's just they look so alike --actually in UA right now?

If he is, can you ask him if he has any relatives who went missing in that earthquake a few weeks back?

He's got another kid with him with a decay quirk. I think-- Natsuo hesitates, eventually deciding to go with-- they're friends.

Are there any other kids missing whose Quirk lets them destroy things they touch with five fingers?

Natsuo should probably mention the decay kid knows the phone number of some unethical people rather than just the above, and also hates heroes and likes the League of Villains. But thinking back to before-- kid 1's picked the wrong side to idolize, maybe, but so have 10% of Natsuo's classmates, and Natsuo doesn't think kid 1, whoever he is, needs the police or heroes panicking and pointing fingers and being prejudiced from day one just because he is one of those anarchistic League fans who got inspired by Stain.

So, in the end, all he types is:

Thanks in advance, and sorry if I woke you.

Hope you are sleeping well.

~Natsuo

It's 3am, and Shouto should be sleeping, but thirty minutes later, mid-essay, Natsuo's phone dings.

Where are you right now?

Chapter Text

Annoyingly, Bakugou doesn't sleep as long as Tomura intends him to.

The brat wakes at 5 a.m. because 5 a.m. is when Tomura leaves the room and gets himself a glass of water because his throat's dry and tap water is a luxury they currently have. (Monologuing takes effort; the brat should be grateful for the work Tomura's putting in for him just so he'll sleep in a strange house with strange noises overseen by a random stranger who is being inexplicably, suspiciously nice. (Tomura isn't touching the stranger's ramen. It's now a congealed, greasy blob in a rejected bowl, and Tomura's not touching the stranger's coffee, either. He's not eating anything here unless he's seen what went into the food or it's the brat cooking for him.))

Tomura leaves the brat snoring for less than two minutes, and by the time he gets back with his water, the little shit's already upright, eyes bleary, and, no, he's not going back to sleep, 5 a.m. is the start of anyone's day, well maybe not lazy-ass villains' days but it's the start of his day, they have shit to get done, no he isn't going to roll over and take advantage of the fact that they're dry, indoors, and have an electric heating pad and blankets for a change to get some proper rest, Tomura can do that if he wants but the brat's going to get shit done.

(Shit like pull out the laptop and start typing at it instead of paying attention to Tomura.)

Tomura's annoyed on principle.

He doesn't like being ignored, and five shouldn't be the start of anyone's day anyway-- five is still the hours of Tomura's evening-- and 2.5 hours is not a personal best for how long he can get his future lieutenant to sleep for.

Annoyed or not though, Tomura's not going to waste his time arguing with the brat about his terrible sleeping hours. If the brat's up anyway, then Tomura's going to take advantage of that to complain to him instead about the fact that he's has been Twiced, because there is no one else to complain to right now, and there's no universe in which that fact is acceptable. Tomura is the only Tomura the universe or anyone in it has any business to be wanting or needing, thank you, and when Tomura tracks down Twice, Twice is going to be lucky if Tomura doesn't split his head open and feed his brains to a nomu because Twice (and whoever else was in on it) deserves it and Tomura is peeved, and the brat ought to be sympathetic and understand because the brat's been replaced, too.

"Jury's out on that, loser," is the kid's unsympathetic response to this, directed at his screen. "Your side replaced you, sure, so your side sucks." Tomura is mollified, slightly. At least until the brat adds a: "But my side's got shit Sense Motive, so my shitty stunt double coulda been placed by anyone. Your side probably saw All Might charging at 'em and threw a clone of me at him to distract him while they scrammed, cuz they ain't all that bright from the little I saw of 'em, and All Might probably caught it and said 'thank you' cuz he ain't all that bright, either, and if All Might said a shitty clone was me the HPSC wouldn't test it, even Deku wouldn't blink at it, not even if it started hugging the shitty nerd, and when I'm done murdering it, my side'll say 'sorry we missed that' and thank me for being alive cuz my side's only got one asshole on it and that's me."

Tomura glares down at the brat.

(The brat's fine. It's annoying that he's suggesting that he mightn't be.)

"So, what you're basically saying is that because All Might exists, nobody bothered rolling due diligence checks," Tomura sniffs out loud instead of saying that, because he's evil and he's got standards. "You could be an eyeless corpse in the body of a slime right now, and because All Might exists nobody would so much as bat an eye. That doesn't sound like the definition of 'not sucking' to me."

The brat's fingers twitch slightly where he's typing.

"Yeah, well, given it's your fault I was down there in the first place, you ain't exactly in a position to be criticizing my side for a shitty rescue effort even if it did suck."

Tomura feels another pinprick of annoyance stab at him.

(They're stabbing at him everywhere.)

"It was the earthquake, brat, not me. I wouldn't have dumped you down there. I want you as my lieutenant, I don't want you dead."

"You ain't gonna nuke the universe without killing me, loser. Even if I was your lieutenant instead of on the front lines stopping you I'd wind up dead cuz even you wind up dead in your shitty future cuz your dream fucking sucks."

All of that's annoying. So, too, is the fact that Tomura has just disintegrated his glass by accident, which he notices at around the same time that he feels his water splatter past his fingers and onto his socks.

The kid sends first the water, and then him, a sour look.

Tomura sends the kid one back, because shouldn't the brat be doing something about this?

It's the brat's fault that Tomura did that, and Kurogiri would already have new socks out for him.

"I ain't your nanny if that's what you're waiting for," the brat says, nudging one blanket forwards with a dexterous foot to serve as a the outer wall of a makeshift fort to shield his power cord and the electric carpet, ignoring the bigger picture entirely. "Clean up your own mess, loser. Towel cupboard's end of the hall. Shitty extra who owns the place is a bigger pushover than Deku, I can tell you now without asking him, he ain't gonna give a fuck if you borrow a towel. The only fuck he'll give is if you wake him up before noon."

Tomura glares at the brat.

The brat ignores him and keeps typing.

(It would serve the brat right if Tomura destroyed the floor, the blankets, the laptop, and their host.)

This is the no PVP zone, though, so Tomura just imagines doing that and stomps his way down to the cupboard, yanks out one annoying, brightly-colored beach towel, and stomps his way back.

Minionless.

That's what he is right now.

That's what this annoying condition is, where he's expected to get his own towels and spread them out on the floor himself just because he's the one who dropped the water.

There's nobody who will do what he wants them to just because he's telling them to, and it's not because they've lost him, it's because they don't want him. They're NPCs in a solo-player campaign, and they're trying to turn it into a multiplayer.

How dare they try to play the game without the PC?

Worse: How dare they succeed in playing the game without the PC? (Because Tomura surfed the dark web last night, and villain reviews of the League's efforts are glowing.)

Adding one more tier to the general annoyance is that Sensei's going along with this farce. (Sensei has to be. Sensei's known him since he was five, and Sensei knows everything. Sensei knows secrets just by looking at you. You can trick Kurogiri when you're eight by disintegrating your vegetables instead of eating them if you don't want them and you don't like Kurogiri because he's new, but Sensei knows within 10 seconds of meeting your eyes what you've done, even if you still get dessert anyway because Sensei never makes you do things you don't want and that includes eating spinach. There's no way Sensei has missed what's been done. Even if the clone is identical, the League aren't that subtle, it's Twice they're talking about, there's no way Sensei doesn't know.)

Did Tomura fail some test?

True, Tomura skipped those team bonding nights Kurogiri suggested he should hold, but-- Tomura kicks the towel pettily, drying up the last of the water-- is the lesson he's supposed to learn here really that team bonding is a necessary step if you don't want to be left for dead? (Tomura doesn't think it's necessary. It shouldn't be. The brat didn't get any team bonding games and he had no problem grasping the concept that Tomura shouldn't be left for dead.)

Tomura wants to scratch his neck.

The bandages are annoying. They make things hurt less, maybe, but they are also in the way.

Tomura's hands twitch upwards.

The kid's typing gets more aggressive.

(The kid's giving him some attention, then, it looks like, even if he's pretending not to.)

Something is better than nothing, so Tomura keeps going.

Satisfyingly, the brat looks up at him, scowling.

"Fuck those up and you're the one who's gonna be putting on the replacements. I don't give a shit if Supervillainy 101 didn't teach you how to put on a bandage, I ain't changing 'em more than once per day for you just cause your stressed ass decided to have picky fingers."

"You won't be doing anything for me anyway, soon," Tomura complains, dropping his hand sullenly, injecting some accusation into his tone. "You will dump me at a police station as soon as your precious Sensei shows, whenever that is, or once we walk to the nearest town, and then you'll go back to your training and you'll forget I ever existed."

The kid flops his head backwards and mutters something that sounds like for fuck's sake.

Tomura glares pointedly.

"You're a fucking villain, loser, this ain't a fucking picnic. Where the fuck else would I take you? I ain't gonna drop you off at your shitty lair."

The brat could if he'd just quit being a hero. That would solve most of Tomura's problems nicely, since Tomura knows for a fact the brat can take him at 30% HP, which is all Twice's clones have, and Tomura's sure between them they can handle the rest of the League, too.

The brat fails to announce any immediate intention to quit his chosen career.

"I hate you," Tomura sighs, a minute into their stare-off. "I hate life. I hate Twice."

"So give him a call and get him to cancel it if you're that upset about it. He's your minion, ain't he? You probably got his number."

To reply or not to reply?

Exposing a minion's weaknesses is, obviously, both not very wise-- even if you are planning to murder said minion-- and it's also, when it's a hero you're exposing them to, a cheap move.

But so is Twicing Tomura.

"He can't," Tomura sighs, stepping over the blanket fort (the brat's eye twitches) and nudging the brat over (a vein in the kid's temple starts twitching, too) so that Tomura can see the laptop screen, too, and get part of that electric carpet because his feet are cold. (He gets an elbow in his side and a "buzz off" for his efforts, but Tomura's not above dusting what can't be shared, and the brat does eventually make room.) "He creates clones that have identical skills and abilities and memories as the originals and last forever until they take enough damage, which is around 30% HP. There is a second me running around disintegrating things right now and he can create a new one whenever it dies. They've replaced me. Twice isn't even my minion anymore. They probably like it better."

"You seriously bitching at me about being jealous of your own body double cuz your friends don't like you anymore right now, loser?"

"It is my League," Tomura complains, choosing to ignore that. "I have worked on this for years and they have been in it for all of one measly month, and they are usurping me and trying to run it without me."

"Boo fuckin' hoo."

Tomura glares at his head, because he's after more than four syllables' worth of sympathy here, and maybe he's going to have to mentally revise how miserable he's looking right now (maybe he's looking as peeved as he feels, in fact) because the brat spares him another side-eye and rolls his eyes and adds: "I don't do pep talks, loser. It sucked when All Might decided 10 mins in from meeting both of us that he liked Shitty Deku more, too, when I'm fucking better, but you don't see me whining about him not wanting me. I just gotta find a good chance to beat things out with the shitty nerd to find out what it is All Might sees in him when Sensei ain't around to spoil it. Should do the same. Suck it up, accept that they don't like you and move on. Not like you're never gonna get the chance to find out what it is your shitty League don't see in you just cuz you're gonna be in jail. They'll be joining you there soon enough."

Is the brat trying to cheer him up?

It's a middling effort if he is, but Tomura will take the thought for the deed and allow himself to feel slightly better anyway.

Still:

"What's the point of putting me in prison when there is a clone version of me going around doing all the same things I will? You aren't going to be saving any of your precious extras. That clay-baked upstart will be able to disintegrate 10 HP NPCs just as easily as I can, and it will be happier to do it than I will because it won't have you nagging at it all the time and threatening to blow off its fingers."

"I ain't sticking you there to save shitty extras, loser. You're going to prison cuz prison's where villains go when they murder shit. You'll get a free therapist, unlimited Internet, and a shot at learning how to be a decent person, and even if you decide to mope around and learn fuck-all there, you still get to come out with a clean slate at the end. You win cuz you paid off your bounty and you don't get ganked for walking around in public anymore; the shitty extras you maimed or murdered win, cuz they get to feel like Society's gives a shit that you hurt 'em; and we win cuz we get a commission for turning you in."

"I don't want to be a decent person. I don't need to waste my time being trapped and ignored in a tiny, cold room just so I can learn how to fail due diligence checks when All Might does so I can fit in with the rest of Society."

"You fail 'em anyway, even without training."

Tomura thinks he can be excused for elbowing the brat in the side.

He's less sure the brat can be excused for elbowing him back.

"I am not replaceable," Tomura says, rubbing his side.

"Like I said, I don't do pep talks, loser. Go kidnap shitty Deku again if you're angling for that crap, cuz I ain't got shit for you beyond clearly we both are cuz they fucking did."

Tomura disintegrates his blanket on purpose, because would it really kill the brat to say 'how dare they' instead of dumping him in a bath of lemon juice when the brat knows he's covered in slit cuts?

The kid sends the dust a sour look.

"Stop nuking the extra's shit, loser. We're already down ¥20,000 between supplies and clothing yesterday. I ain't gonna have any internship pay left if you keep that shit up."

"Nobody is making you pay for it, brat," Tomura glares at him.

"I ain't owing that snowball-haired rando shit at the end of this, loser."

"You wouldn't owe him anyway, because it is me who is destroying his blankets, not you. And I don't have a problem with not paying him back for some measly, second-hand blankets."

"Fuckin' freeloader. Anyone ever tell you you're a human leech?"

Tomura glares at the brat and tries to adjust to a position that's more friendly towards drying out his wet socks.

"You, yesterday."

"Well, I ain't wrong."

"I'm chaotic evil, brat. I do worse things in life than leech."

"You're a shitty loser who probably ain't 21 who wants to save orphans and pet puppies, and you monologue instead of nuking shit at night just cuz my brain's a shitty traitor that's decided it can't get to sleep without it. You're a shit villain, loser, you don't even score a B in that category, and you're shit at being chaotic evil, too. Best you get is neutral evil, and you only get that cuz of Hosu."

"Do you know," Tomura hisses, sucking a calming breath in through clenched teeth, because he's pretty sure serial killers and child-kidnappers rate higher than mere Bs., "how easy it would be to throttle you right now?"

"Go for it, loser. Know what? I ain't even gonna dodge."

Tomura glares at him balefully.

The brat ignores him.

The brat keeps ignoring him when Tomura moves his arm closer.

The brat keeps ignoring him when four of Tomura's fingers close about his neck.

(The brat's pulse isn't even jumping.)

Tap, tap, tap, go the keys.

(The kid's writing notes. He's got a satellite map image of the area pulled up, he's copied it, and he's making notes about what towns are closest, who is in charge of them, and what hazards there are to avoid. He's also drafting some kind of report detailing the slime infestation in the sewers-- the brat's classing it as a Code C threat, whatever that means-- and he's detailing numbers, weaknesses, and terrain observations, and he's adding as a footnote the possible effect the acidic run-off may have on the coral reefs.)

Nobody just lets Tomura touch them.

Even Sensei doesn't just let Tomura touch him.

(If Tomura doesn't disintegrate the brat, is he a failed villain?)

"...You're admitting you like my bedtime stories, brat?"

The kid's eye ticks.

"Shut up, loser. My shitty brain got trained into it in 15 days. I can train it out of it in 15 days, too, and once I'm back at UA I fucking will."

Tomura eyes the brat a bit more. OK, the brat's tone is vitriolic, but the brat isn't saying he'll do it before he gets back, and that means that Tomura has tacit permission to monologue at the brat until he does.

He's wanted by someone for something.

Maybe Sensei mightn't want him to destroy the universe anymore, and the League mightn't want him to lead them in Destruction and Mayhem anymore, but at least the brat wants his monologues.

Another sliver of Tomura's soul yields to toxic rot.

Petulantly, Tomura lets his hand drop, settles himself a bit more comfortably against the wall, and steals another blanket.

(He's still evil.)

(You can be evil and not want to kill your party.)

(If the Midoriya brat or the frog brat or the ball-headed brat were here, Tomura would nuke all of them in a heartbeat.)

(The brat hates Midoriya, too, right?)

Tomura is convincing nobody least of all himself, and there's a part of him hissing that maybe this rot is why Sensei rejected him and let the League replace him with a clone in the first place.

You can buy chemicals for mold on things like curtains and walls, Tomura knows. He's never used them, it's not like mold's a problem in a villainous lair, but he's seen them when he goes past those rows in shopping centers.

Why doesn't anybody sell mold-remover for the soul?

"...You are still going to join me, brat," Tomura says, sullenly, eventually. "Whether I am an A+ villain or an F-, you are going to be joining me because I always get what I want, and what I want in my party is you."

There's a split-second where the kid's hands still, and then he keeps typing.

"Fuckin' yandere's what you are. You're worse than shitty Deku."

The brat doesn't sound all that upset though.

He never, actually, sounds all that upset when Tomura says that he's going to recruit him.

He tells Tomura he's dreaming, and he tells Tomura he's a loser for trying, and it's annoyingly clear the brat doesn't intend to say yes any time soon (or ever, according to the brat, but Tomura isn't going to accept that, even if he does need to adjust his life goals a tiny bit to create a future the brat fits into), but that slightly-bemused, slightly-done, semi-hostile look flickers behind the brat's eyes anyway, always.

It's a look that is starting to make Tomura suspect that the brat might have a weak point, and that weak point is being wanted.

It's not a look that says the brat's weak to flattery (that's a different look, because the brat's definitely weak to that, too.)

This, though, is the same look that Tomura feels on his face when people like the brat are inexplicably nice, because Tomura hasn't had life training in how to deal with niceness. He's a villain, he's evil, Society rejected him when he was five, and nobody except for Sensei and Kurogiri ever has been nice to Tomura. (Obviously Tomura can't treat other nice people the way he treats Sensei and Kurogiri. But it's not like he has another default ingrained, so Tomura is mostly flying blind and settling for aggressive recruitment because then he can stick to his defaults.)

The kid looks like he's flying blind, too.

The brat looks like he hasn't had life training in Being Wanted (unless somebody needs him to win something; Tomura's sure the brat's a popular pick for any event involving any kind of contest) and Tomura feels another sliver of annoyance mold another fraction of his soul, and a spark of anger start to smolder.

The brat's acting like being wanted is a rarity.

He's acting like it's something he needs to be suspicious of, like Tomura needs to be suspicious of niceness, because being on a side is something you shoulder your way into or pay for, not because anyone on it actually wants you there for real.

It's annoying.

It's more than annoying, it's unacceptable that the brat thinks that just because All Might didn't pick him no one will.

The brat's fine, and Tomura wants to track down whoever says he isn't and turn them into dust.

Chapter Text

Aizawa Shouta is a patient man.

Right now, though, his patience is being-- somewhat-- tested. (And not just by a certain rather worrying phone call. Aizawa has checked-- problem child 2 is safely in bed and snoring. But that does not make Aizawa feel any less worried. Even if the League of Villains is hoping to use their transformation quirks to impersonate his student, such an obvious lie as 'I am alive' is irrational given Bakugou has been rescued, and so far as he knows, the League do not have his personal phone number.)

(Aizawa's also not sure they'd know about his prospective birthday presents, since that problem student 2 apparently values-- or valued-- him enough to write him a card is news even to Aizawa himself. The kid usually clicks his pen through Aizawa's lessons and stares out the window.)

(Of course, there is, rationally, the UA traitor.)

(Villains are also not always clever.)

(There are also alternate universes.)

(There are also chances that the HPSC failed to test problem child 2 before returning him to UA, and that option Aizawa likes least, since problem child 2 has been slowly opening up to his classmates since Kamino, with Kirishima in particular, who was caught by police trying to enter a restricted earthquake-shattered zone in search of his friend (along with Midoriya, because where there is trouble there of course is Midoriya) and ended up helping them with earthquake cleanup duty. Five times. Aizawa isn't one for feelings, but he's been proud of the baby steps Bakugou has been taking towards trusting Class 1-A, and he's been proud of the way the hero-in-training has moved forward past Kamino.

Nobody knows what the League did to him; whatever it was, it was bad enough that he himself can't remember. He claims to remember being chained to a chair and being monologued at for hours on day one. The earthquake, and then six days of nothing, and then-- the chair again, and Dabi sneaking him out at midnight to where Hawks was waiting, blue eyes hooded, telling him to shut up unless he wanted to get them both killed and to make sure he looks after his health, because he's a little shit but Dabi honestly hopes he lives a long, healthy life.)

In hindsight-- in light of that phone call-- that's a concern.

But at the time, everyone is more concerned about what the League did to him in those six days he can't remember than why one of the League is suddenly in possession of a conscience, and they're mostly just happy to have him back.

It's not like the boy's been acting off. He's been his usual self, and if anything was off, Midoriya, surely, would know.

(That's a bad excuse though-- to thrust the blame onto a kid for what the pros may have missed. Aizawa doesn't want to believe anything was missed, but in the end, regardless of what types of tests the HPSC used-- and it's starting to look like the answer to that may indeed be 'we didn't' since he's still being left on 'read', which isn't what a professional should be doing when the question is a simple 'What test was used to check Bakugou was Bakugou' even if it was a Friday afternoon when Aizawa sent that message-- It's nobody's fault but UA's if this got through. It's not like Aizawa couldn't have checked this sooner.)

He wants it to be a lie.

A bad joke; a bad attempt at deception.

(Aizawa does not like the idea that behind problem child 2's face lurks a cunning stranger, and he likes the idea even less that the real problem child 2 has been, apparently, walking around for nearly a month without shoes while UA and Aizawa himself have been doing nothing.)

He's a hero, though, so these are all options that need to be considered.

But right now, what needs to be considered are the two students standing in front of Aizawa's chair.

One, of course, is Midoriya. Midoriya is a problem child, and is the source of fully half of Aizawa's headaches. To find Midoriya half-way to the gates of UA at 3:45 a.m. in shorts and a T-Shirt that says 'T-Shirt' on it, failing abysmally at sneaking, is barely enough to warrant raising an eyebrow.

To find Todoroki sneaking out alongside Midoriya is more than enough to raise two eyebrows. (Todoroki is wearing the same turtleneck he was wearing this evening, which means Todoroki has most likely not slept.)

Todoroki is looking obstinately impassive, which is a problem in itself, because all Aizawa has asked these two problem students is 'Why are you two not in bed?'

Aizawa does not miss the flickering glance of warning Todoroki sends at Midoriya.

Neither does Midoriya who sends a tiny nod back, and then sends Aizawa a very bright smile.

(Aizawa immediately senses bullshit.)

(Aizawa's sure even All Might would sense bullshit.)

"It's my. Um. Mom."

Aizawa listens impassively.

Midoriya begins to sweat, but his bright smile does not fade.

"I really, really miss her. So. I, um. Thought that I would. You know. Um. Visit her. And Todoroki-kun was worried, haha, because, you know, it's late, there's no trains, and taxi drivers are expensive, but he has his dad's credit card and. You know. Why not? My mom wouldn't mind meeting Todoroki-kun. And. Well. It's a Saturday, so there'snoclassessoIthought you know. Why not?"

"At 3:45 a.m."

Midoriya's smile is strained, but, "Yup," Midoriya offers anyway. "I, um. Know the passcode to our door, so, you know, we wouldn't wake her. But we'd get to have the whole day there when we woke, which, you know, or maybe you don't, do you have family Sensei? Haha. I don't think I remember seeing that on your fan page..."

Unless Aizawa is wrong, Midoriya's sweat is forming a small puddle. However, even under Aizawa's impassive, unimpressed stare, problem child 1 sticks to his guns, and fails to cough up the truth.

(Aizawa feels a headache developing.)

"Todoroki," Aizawa says, redirecting his attention to the more likely target.

"...I want to meet Mrs. Midoriya," Todoroki parrots.

(Problem child 1 sends him an encouraging look.)

Aizawa is Done.

"The truth. Both of you. Now."

Obstinate silence.

"If you are in trouble--"

"We're not," problem child 1 hastens to assure Aizawa. "And neither is Kacchan. And neither is Todoroki-kun. Nobody's in trouble, Sensei."

Aizawa is not, normally, a paranoid man.

But.

There was that phone call, and this is 3:45 a.m., and Aizawa is also not a man who believes in coincidences.

"What trouble, exactly, is Bakugou not in, Midoriya?"

"None, Sensei," Midoriya smiles brightly, firmly, and fakely.

"Because," Aizawa says, impassively, "I received a rather worrying phone call today from an unknown number. Perhaps you would like to hear it?"

Todoroki and Midoriya exchange a look.

Aizawa replays the message.

Midoriya goes three shades whiter. (He looks, in fact, like he's in danger of being physically ill. Aizawa keeps an eye on that, and prepares to use his capture weapon to pull a trash can closer if he needs to.)

Todoroki’s face remains blank, but his hands clench.

“Now, perhaps, you two would care to explain to me why you two are attempting to leave the grounds at 3:45 a.m., and what this does not have to do with Bakugou being potentially in trouble right now?”

“…”

“…”

“Now.”

(Ten minutes later, Aizawa is the proud possessor of:

1. The location of problem child 2, or whoever is trying to impersonate him.
2. The location of Shigaraki, or whoever is trying to impersonate him.
3. 1 x free taxi ride (he’s in agreement a taxi will be faster than a train, and Endeavor can certainly afford to pay for a 2-hour fare. Hizashi has agreed to keep an eye on Class 1-A for him tomorrow. Hizashi has also agreed to call problem child 2 into his office for a chat when he wakes to keep an eye on him.)
4. 1 bad headache
5. 1 sliver of worry.
6. 1 first aid kit.

He also, after some consideration, borrows a pair of Bakugou’s shoes.

It's not that he doesn't think problem child 2 is safely at UA.

It's just that, rationally, there is cause for concern. One of the two is fake. And while Aizawa could question problem child 2 before he leaves, he doesn't think the kid needs his identify being doubted on top of Kamino-- if he's not a fake. The least Aizawa can do is check before he casts blame in any particular direction. (Rationally, he needs to question. Emotionally, he honestly doesn't like himself for doubting his student this easily. But, there is Dabi, there is the birthday present, there is the continuing lack of HPSC replies, and there is the fact that problem child 2 is problem child 2 for a reason, and gives Aizawa nearly as many headaches as Midoriya.)

It's not like Aizawa loses anything by checking, except his Saturday.

A civilian is potentially in danger from somebody who at the very least has a dangerous quirk.

At least this way, Aizawa can keep an eye on what Midoriya is up to.

It’s a 2-hour trip there via taxi. Worrying isn't going to accomplish anything, so Aizawa instructs Todoroki (who is worrying about his sibling anyway) to instruct his sibling to inform them if either of his guests leave his home, and then Aizawa closes his eyes and gets some sleep.

(Midoriya, who is sitting in the back of the taxi with him, mumbles something about posture and car crashes and seatbelts, and offers Aizawa his rather sweaty school bag to lean against, so that Aizawa doesn't have to twist sideways to rest his head on the middle seat to sleep.)

(Aizawa, a rational human being, accepts it.)

6:00 a.m., their ETA stands.

Aizawa hopes the building will still be standing by the time he gets there.

Chapter Text

Int. Shitty extra 3's house - 6:06 AM - 24 days post The Kamino Disaster

The thing is, Katsuki has developed shit habits.

Extenuating circumstance 1:

When you're in a sewer with a glass cannon who's got a one-shot-kill move as his basic attack, it's pretty basic logic that if you have more HP and better initiative (and don't care if what you're killing dies) then you tank. Tank for someone too long, and you get into the habit of keeping an eye out for that someone's useless ass regardless of how close they happen to be to near death. (It's habit, not sentiment, and it's not just Katsuki this shit happens to.)

Extenuating circumstance 2:

Katsuki checked Raccoon-eyes' Instagram feed last night, and got to see fun shit like:

• Pics of Shitty-hair leaning on his shitty double's shoulder. (Fuckin' asshole. Katsuki's not sure which of 'em he wants to blow up more.)
• Raccoon-eyes tagging photos of it 'our blasty'. (The fuck's with the 'our'?)
• Well-wishes from Raccoon-eyes' followers, cuz Sensei has booked UA in for their Provisional Licenses in 3 days' time. (Fuck Sensei. Katsuki ain't even got an Ultimate, much less the 25 bonus days of free lessons the rest of Class 1-A got, how the fuck's he gonna catch up to Deku if he fails that shitty test? (And fail's being optimistic: At this rate he ain't even gonna get back to UA in time to take the shitty thing, let alone fail it.)
• Worst of all-- and that photo had been same day, and Katsuki had felt a strange, slithering feeling forming somewhere in his chest, climbing higher, lodging itself somewhere at the back of his throat and leaving a weird taste in his mouth-- there'd been a photo of his shitty double letting Deku help it hobble out of some training exercise just cuz it'd busted it's leg, and Deku'd been looking pleased down to the pits of his nerdy soul that the thing was letting him act as its crutch even though it had had him in a headlock. (It's not just stealing his allies, it's nuking his rep, there's even photos of it playing Uno, what kind of a shitty double is this??)

The result: Understandably, Katsuki's in a shit mood.

It's there when he sleeps, he's in a shit mood when he wakes, he's in a shit mood when he types out his report, he's in a shit mood when Hands bitches about life standing, and he's in a shit mood when the loser squeezes himself into Katsuki's personal bubble to bitch at him more comfortably after, cuz why the fuck does Hands think it's safe to do that with him?

Maybe cuz Katsuki's letting the loser stick his trigger-happy fingers on Katsuki's neck these days?

That ain't the point though. The point is that Katsuki's gonna dump the loser in prison, he's gonna use everything Hands tells him about his shitty League against the loser, he's a fucking professional, he keeps telling Hands that, and Hands still keeps looking at him like he's something Hands thinks is important, someone Hands trusts, someone Hands thinks it's worth doing shit for like waste 3-5 hours of his life per day on just to make sure Katsuki can sleep, and Katsuki still doesn't get why the loser wants to do this for him, but he's kinda close to accepting that Hands maybe actually does, and what the fuck's Katsuki supposed to do about the fact that a shitty villain serial killer likes him (Katsuki-- not Katsuki's quirk, not his stupid double-- Katsuki) better than anyone else in his life right now does except maybe his parents? (and they don't count cuz they have to like him, it's their fucking job, you don't not love your kids unless you're a piece of shit.)

Fuckin' loser.

Hands' judgement's shit.

But basically, to return to shit habits, Katsuki's in a shit mood, and when Katsuki's a shit mood what makes him feel better is (as a general rule) beating something up in a conclusive and absolute victory-- Something that puts up more of a fight than the handful of eggs he fuckin' flattens making breakfast with after he finishes writing that report. (He's hungry; Hands is hungry; rice is cooking, but Katsuki not settling for just rice when he can have rice, egg soup, and omelets. Katsuki might be stuck settling for being replaced by a shitty clone right now, but like fuck's he settling for a crappy breakfast, breakfast can prepare to be murdered cuz breakfast's fucking dead.)

And when it comes to beating up something--

Well. There's never not a time that that 'something' can't be Deku if Deku happens to be within a 20-foot radius and being annoying.

That's true even when Deku hasn't substituted Katsuki for some rip-off fake.

So, when the door gets kicked open while Katsuki's passing a plate with two (perfect, fluffy, A+) omelets to Hands and a green, Deku-shaped streak of lightning hurtles towards Hands--

And there's a rational part of Katsuki that does recognize that it probably, maybe, doesn't look good when the guy with the disintegration quirk's hand is an inch away from your wrist, but it's just Hands--

In conclusion, basically, it's not Katsuki's fault that he snags Hands by the scruff of his collar and pulls him out of the way once he cottons onto the fact the loser's rolled lower on his initiative there (Hands hisses like Psycho but Katsuki ignores that) and it's not Katsuki's fault either that he follows it up with a solid, satisfying kick in Deku's back as the nerd hurtles past that throws the nerd (who's got nothing to give him momentum in the air, fuckin' loser, Katsuki's still winning there, take that Deku) off-balance and flying straight through shitty extra 3's living room wall.

Katsuki's broken leg isn't quite as happy as the rest of him is about that kick, but it can eat shit and die, cuz the rest of Katsuki's pretty fuckin' pleased with himself.

Katsuki'd be more pleased if he could explode Deku's face, but:

1. Illegal. Katsuki hates his guts, yeah, but Deku's not a villain, and this ain't a free-Quirk usage zone. (Deku's gonna cop a fine if his nerdy ass is reported. He's lucky shitty extra 3's so fucking soft.)
2. Katsuki's sweat's floating all round this shitty house. If it sparks with a proper flame, the whole place'll blow. Katsuki'd do it in a heartbeat at UA at Ground Beta or something, he'd even do it in the Class 1-A classroom cuz everyone in it's a tough fuck with enough HP to survive a 10d6 blast even if that 10d6 comes up as 60, but shitty extra has 10 HP and he does owe the shitty extra something more than charred death in bed for letting 'em stay here. (He's not paying for that wall though. Deku was gonna go through something with that much momentum anyway.)

Still, explosions or not, Katsuki'll take what he can get in terms of a good fight right now. There's a 2% chance Deku's down, and a 98% chance Deku's bounced like he always bounces and is gonna send his nerdy ass flying straight back in again, which means if Katsuki's gonna win this--

(No, he doesn't know why they're fighting but who gives a shit, Katsuki's still not losing--)

And then:

"Problem child--" and Katsuki can almost feel his brain grinding, switching gears from 'fight Deku' to 'Sensei's fuckn' here' "--what part of 'you are not permitted to use your quirk unsupervised' was unclear?" comes Sensei's monotone from the doorway, sounding fuckin' tired, maybe a tiny bit 'why is this my life' and Katsuki kinda-- stiffens a tiny bit, still kinda itching to follow Deku out through that hole and onto the lawn--

(Can't though, not logical, not possible, Sensei's a bitch about Katsuki murdering Deku, All Might's the only one who ever lets him go for it--)

From the lawn, Deku's voice chirps back something bright and stupid like 'but technically you were supervising me, Sensei, I thought that was what you meant' that is probably giving Sensei a headache. (Would definitely have given Katsuki one back in the day before he developed an immunity to Deku-induced headaches.)

Hands let out a second, even more peeved hiss.

(Loser's quirk's probably been cancelled. Katsuki's probably has, too.)

Katsuki feels--

(Like he's gotta kick his brain back into gear but it's tough his shitty instincts just want to beat up Deku--)

Confused, maybe? (Why the fuck is Sensei here when Sensei failed his sense motive checks with some shitty double? Katsuki can't think of anything he said in that phone call that'd have triggered a reroll, he can't think of any proof he can give that he's him right now, period.)

Relieved? A tiny bit? (It's reflexive, Sensei being around usually makes shit better. Also, maybe there's a chance he's gonna make it to that test in 3 days after all, there's a chance even if he's 25 days behind shitty Deku he's not gonna be 25 days plus one test.)

Fuckin' pissed? (He was just getting into that fight, he still wants a fight with someone, the fuck does Sensei always gotta shut down his fights with shitty Deku would it have killed Sensei to turn a blind eye and walk in in ten mins instead? Fuck, would it have killed Sensei even to have just called ahead to let Katsuki know to expect him so Katsuki wasn't caught by Deku feeding Hands eggs? There's a fuckin' landline phone right there, Katsuki'd probably have answered it if it had called, and Sensei's the one who bitches to them about the importance of communication.)

Hands ain't looking all that pleased about the new development either.

If he could flatten his ears, Hands'd be doing it-- loser's freed himself from Katsuki's admittedly not all that tight hold and he's keeping Katsuki firmly between himself and the doorway, which, okay, Katsuki did kick Deku in the back but-- and Katsuki sends Hands an unimpressed look when he catches onto what the loser's up to here-- the loser does get that these are Katsuki's allies, right?

Hands sends him an obstinate look back and doesn't budge an inch.

Whatever.

Least if the loser's safe behind Katsuki he ain't gonna be dusting shitty Deku or Sensei's elbow when Sensei blinks.

Or Icyhot. Because Sensei's not alone.

That's the next thing Katsuki notices when he turns away from Hands to face the doorway behind him. Sensei's hair's levitating, so's his capture weapon, and Katsuki will think about all the things that could mean later cuz he's a bit distracted right now by the fact that Icyhot's standing right next to Sensei, composed, unruffled, not one hair of his shitty, two-toned head out of place--

And Katsuki is conscious, suddenly, of every single unit of his lost HP grating at him, can feel the pain in his leg nagging at him, can feel the acid burns itching under his sleeves, and he's in a fluffy white sweater right now, his socks have fucking little blue snowmen on them that are only partly hidden by the house slippers, and is Sensei fucking kidding him right now? Katsuki put in an order for one Gummy-crone and a pair of shoes, he didn't ask for Sensei to drag along both his arch-rivals so that they could pity him and look down on him and take him even less seriously than the little they already do.

Katsuki sends a betrayed look at Sensei.

Sensei, the sadistic fuck, doesn't so much as flinch.

(Sensei seems a bit busy glaring, actually, but he doesn't seem to be glaring at Katsuki. For some reason, Sensei's watching Hands like Hands bein' behind Katsuki's a problem. Katsuki's not too sure why, it's not like he's gonna let Hands dust anything, and it's not like Hands could even if Katsuki wasn't in the way, Sensei's a fuckin' badass. Sure, Katsuki kinda forgot to mention on that call that Hands was gonna be here, so maybe it's surprise, and he's kinda in the way of Sensei and a capture weapon attack on the loser, but Hands is gonna disintegrate Sensei's capture weapon if Sensei uses it on him and blinks anyway, the loser's a bitch to restrain properly, even quirk restraints do fuck-all with his quirk, that's why Katsuki didn't bother asking for any.)

"How badly are you injured, problem child?" Sensei asks.

At Deku, probably. Nerd's reappearing through the hole he made, brushing plaster dust from his shitty green hair.

Deku's looking expectantly at Katsuki, though, green eyes worried and earnest, cuz his stupid brain probably sees any version of Katsuki and thinks 'Kacchan' and his 20/20 niceness probably can't comprehend the fact that his dumb, suicidal life choices worry other people who aren't Katsuki. (Or maybe he's already sensed Katsuki's leg. Katsuki doesn't think he's making that obvious, though, and Katsuki sure as fuck ain't moving an inch unless Sensei breaks out his capture weapon, there's a 50% chance he's gonna accidentally limp if he moves, Katsuki's not looking weak in front of Icyhot and Deku.)

Sensei's eye starts ticking.

Katsuki helps him out.

He can be a bit nice for Sensei.

"He asked you a fuckin' question, Deku."

Deku blinks. (He's also staring at Hands.) "Oh. Um. I'm fine, Sensei, the wall is only plaster and wood and the grass is really nice outside."

Course it is, Katsuki fuckin' mowed that shit yesterday, and Deku'd better not have messed it up.

Sensei looks a touch more tired than he did 5 seconds ago. (Maybe he's thinking about UA's insurance payouts and the lawn, too.)

"Bakugou," Sensei says, calmly, tiredly, "Are you undamaged?"

"..." Katsuki drags his glare from Deku to send Sensei a suspicious look.

Sensei looks Unimpressed.

"'m fine, and what the fuck're you worrying about me for, Sensei?" Katsuki checks, coolly, cuz he saw those photos yesterday. "Haven't you got a shiny new me you're calling 'problem child' these days?"

Sensei keeps looking Unimpressed.

He's also looking at Katsuki's face a bit too closely, like he needs to, like that'll fuckin' help him and Katsuki's just--

"If you're looking for proof I'm me I ain't got shit to offer you Sensei. That thing you're all babying these days is Twiced. According to this loser, there ain't gonna be a fucking difference unless you kick both of us in the head until one of us melts."

"I would have picked the difference," Hands sneers contemptuously. "I wouldn't need to kick a child in the head to ID them, either. But it doesn't surprise me that that is what heroes do."

"It obviously ain't, loser, only I'd kick a kid in the head, that's the whole fuckin' problem, and you're the one whose ex-minion created this fuck-up in the first place so you don't get to be a judgemental bitch about this," Katsuki says firmly, keeping his attention on Sensei.

Hands makes a peeved, unconvinced kinda noise. Katsuki'd elbow him, but he can't keep an eye on the loser and on Sensei/Icyhot/Deku so Hands is just gonna have to live with the fact that his side's gonna be staying intact a while longer.

Deku's easy enough to read. Nerd's sweating, any moment now he's gonna start to mutter. Every Katsuki is Kacchan to Deku, clearly, cuz the nerd ain't looked at Katsuki like he thought he was a fake since the shitty nerd got here. Nerd could probably see ten Katsuki's in the same room and he'd call 'em all Kacchan. Fuckin' loser. He can eat shit and die, cuz Katsuki's a petty bitch who doesn't share and Katsuki can hold grudges for years. Deku'd know.

Sensei is basically unreadable. Katsuki's getting zero from his sleep-deprived face as to if he thinks Katsuki's Katsuki yet or if Katsuki is gonna be kicked in the head in the near future for ID purposes any time soon. (Katsuki'll tolerate it if it comes to that. Sensei is tougher than Katsuki is, so Sensei gets to beat him up if he needs to, and at least if Sensei does he'll have an acceptable excuse for limping.)

As for Icyhot: "...I think you are you, Bakugou," Icyhot decides, and Katsuki's getting zero reads from his shitty blank face if he's pleased or disappointed about that fact or just doesn't give a shit. He's leaning towards option 3 though, cuz: "I am going to check on my brother now, Sensei," Icyhot adds, to Sensei, and glides expressionlessly past all of them towards where shitty extra's phone's been pinging at 1 chirp per min since 5, like he really thinks any extra in this house wouldn't be 100% safe with Katsuki.

Fucking jerk.

(Also, Katsuki's feeling kinda ignored here.)

(Fuck Icyhot.)

(He's a shit rival, and Katsuki hopes he chokes and dies.)

"...You have siblings?" Katsuku calls out after him.

"Mm," Icyhot says, disappearing down the hallway in the direction of shitty extra 3's room.

Fuckin' two-toned bastard. If this is Class 1-A's version of due diligence, it's no wonder that shitty clone got through so easy in the first place.

"Um. K-Kacchan," Deku's stammering now, and Katsuki reluctantly gives the nerd a generous 15% attention-- other 85%'s still busy glaring holes into Icyhot's indifferent back and on questions like what the fuck did shitty extra 3 say his name was again, and shitty extra 3 down there had better not be the reason Deku and Icyhot are here right now, he's not getting a free pass on his snitching if he's related to Icyhot's match-tossing ass-- "Um, why are you. Um. That is to say, um, I mean it'snotthatyoucan't, but that's-- or is it, I mean, I thinkthat'smaybe Kacchan, whyareyouprotectingShigarakisan?"

"I ain't protecting shit, I don't score rescue points, Deku, that ain't what this is, and what the fuck's 'Shigarakisan'?" Katsuki checks, impatiently.

"Problem child..." Aizawa starts, slowly.

Four dry fingers land on Katsuki's neck. (Yeah, like that's a threat.)

Deku lets out a tiny, choked noise, cuz Deku's a fuckin' wimp.

Sensei twitches, too, maybe cuz Sensei's elbow doesn't like Hands (fair), or maybe just cuz now he really can't use his capture weapon without Katsuki being dusted if Sensei blinks.

"Brat..."

"What?"

"We have been travelling in the same party for 24 days. No, we've been in the same party for 25 days because technically you joined my party from day one when I kidnapped you..."

"I fuckin' didn't, kidnapping someone doesn't make 'em party, loser, and you going somewhere with this crap?"

"Oh, I'm going somewhere, brat. How do you not know my name?"

"..."

Katsuki flushes slightly. (He doesn't like not knowing shit, especially not shit that Deku knows, and given the context it wouldn't have been hard to bluff it off and pretend he did know, so fuck Deku (and Icyhot) for distracting him, too.)

"Well newsflash, loser," Katsuki fires back hotly, cuz fuck Hands as well for making him look like an idiot, "this ain't Legends Online, we don't just walk around with a convenient little chat-box bottom left of our UI and a label above our heads with our username on it just cuz we join a party, and it ain't my fault you never bothered to introduce yourself unless you buried it three foot under in one of your shitty monologues."

Hands' grip tightens slightly.

Loser should cut his fuckin' nails.

"Because I shouldn't have needed to! I attacked your school! I attacked a whole district! I kidnapped you. I am the Symbol of Fear. There are whole videos people have put up online detailing who I am, they have hundreds of thousands of views, how the hell do you not know?"

"There's whole videos people've put up on Asshole Jeanist, too, but why the fuck would I give enough of a shit to click on 'em? I got better things to do with my time than look up people I don't give a shit about. You ain't the first villain who attacked me; won't be the last. I don't know the sludge monster's name either cuz I do better things with my life like training."

Hands (Shigaraki?) lets out a strangled, outraged noise.

Fucker actually looks a bit upset.

(OK, Katsuki'd be upset to be on the same level as the sludge monster, too.)

"Back when I had the Internet, fucker," Katsuki clarifies, exasperated, turning around a bit more so he can thwack the loser upside the head. "Fuck you're sensitive. I'd Google you now, probably."

"'Probably'?" Hands glares.

Hands is pushing it. Sensei's watching. Deku's watching.

Katsuki's supposed to be busy proving his ID here, not watching Hands chuck a tantrum.

But. Hands does waste five hours of his life each night monologing for Katsuki and making sure nothing eats him, and Hands does have a 100% track record of not minding Katsuki's a 4-to-5 outta 20 human being, probably cuz that 4-to-5 still looks good to his 2.

And Katsuki has-- extenuating circumstance 1-- formed shit habits. (It's not like he's playing Uno here when he could be training he's still way better than shitty, soft, nice, Katsuki 2.0)

So:

"Fine," Katsuki concedes, despite their audience. "I would Google your loser ass now and find your shitty first name as well. But only so I know what name to ask for when I visit you in prison, cuz I doubt the prison guards are gonna accept 'Hands Shigaraki.'"

Hands loses a fraction of the glare.

"Or you could save me the trouble and just tell me."

"You should already know," Hands sniffs.

Petty bastard.

(His nails aren't digging in anymore though, so Katsuki can tell the loser's happy.)

"I could tell you, Kacchan," Deku mumbles.

"Fuck off, Deku," Katsuki turns a bit to glare murder at the nerd better. "You already got yourself a new Kacchan. Your precious new Kacchan know you're still trying to be friends with the old one, or were you planning on seeing whether or not you got to 'Kacchan' me again before you cut off ties with your new model? Assuming you're even planning on cutting off ties with it at all."

Deku looks kinda like a kicked puppy (small, hurt, and a tiny bit pissed off.)

"Kacchan, I didn't know it wasn't you."

"The fuck you didn't. It's been around for 15 days, and it's obviously taken zero damage for most of those cuz that fucked up leg I saw on Instagram dated fuckin' yesterday didn't chunk it. They die at 30% HP, it's finite no matter how many days you give it to heal, and Sensei pushes us to our limits. My limit ain't 30% and it sure as fuck ain't 2%, so why the fuck ain't it dead yet if you 'didn't know it wasn't me'?"

Deku's getting paler with every word.

"We..."

Katsuki narrows his eyes.

"...maybe..."

Deku swallows, sweating.

Katsuki wants to blast him in his stupid face.

"Spit it out, Deku, stop fuckin' choking on it. Why the fuck have you all been being so nice and considerate to that jumped-up piece of shit if it wasn't cuz you could fuckin' see it had finite HP?"

Deku swallows again.

"Wedidn'twanttohurtyou."

"Try it again without the mumbling, nerd," Katsuki says, dangerously, "cuz I am 70% sure I did not hear that shit right just now."

("Are you, brat?" Hands murmurs.

Katsuki steps on his foot. Hard.)

Deku swallows a third time.

"You-- couldn't remember-- And it's really, really uncomfortable when Shigaraki-san's hand is on your neck," (yeah, yeah, Katsuki'll get around to shrugging it off soon Deku can stop staring at it like he thinks Katsuki doesn't have this) "and Toga-san is really creepy and Uraraka-san said her knife hurts, and Dabi-- and you were gone and we couldn't help you, I couldn't help you, and we didn't know if you were even alive and you couldn't remember 6 whole days, and we didn't-- and nobodywantedtohurtyou. Pleasecanyougethishandoffyourneck Kacchan?"

Katsuki eyes Deku suspiciously.

The nerd's sweating, but he doesn't look like he's lying.

And Katsuki likes to think that now he's bothering to roll sense motive checks on Deku, he'd pick it if Deku was. Deku's not all that subtle.

Huh.

So Katsuki got left to die in a sewer cuz Class 1-A felt sorry for him and wanted to be nice.

He's sure there's a life lesson that could be learned here if Class 1-A tries hard enough.

Fuck Class 1-A.

The fuck do they wanna take things easy on Katsuki for? There's still about a third of them he can't even name, so why are they trying to be nice to him? They didn't (except fuckin' Icyhot) take it easy on him before he got kidnapped. Why the fuck are they doing that shit after?

Because they're feeling sorry for him, obviously, but fuck them for thinking they have the right to feel sorry for Katsuki.

They wouldn't have that right even if Hands had shoved a few knives in him.

He can't underestimate them though. He's clearly been taking them too lightly. It's a different brand of niceness to Deku's teary eyes, maybe (Katsuki wasn't really getting 'poor you' vibes from those photos; his stupid double kinda was looking like it was trying to not look happy, if he lets himself analyse that shit) but clearly they're a corruptive influence if niceness from them can reduce his double to Uno in just 15 days; can make it blind to the fact that not one person's taking it seriously anymore.

Katsuki's gonna have to be on his guard here, assuming he gets the same treatment. He's gonna need to say a flat out no to the shit they drag him into, and he's gonna need to do more than just assume people are shit at fighting just cuz he's wiping the floor with them--

"Kacchan, I know we-- and I'm sorry, we should have noticed, Kacchan, we-- but can you do this afterthat'soffplease--?" Deku makes a tiny gesture at Hands, still Full-Cowl twitching.

"Fuck off, nerd. I'll get his hand off when I want it off, you don't get to tell me what to do."

"Problem child," Sensei says, in a tired monotone, "why do you not want his hand off your neck?"

Cuz Deku's telling him to.

Obviously.

"I don't see what your problem is, Eraserhead," Hands sneers, lip curling, and Katsuki's kinda in agreement with Hands here, cuz the loser's grip's sorta light now and weirdly supportive for a former pissed-off death-threat grip. (Katsuki's having trouble remembering the last time, actually, that anybody who wasn't Shitty-hair touched him without it being some kind of a touch attack. Old hag, maybe, back when she used to cut his hair? All Might, on the rare occasion he's got time for Katsuki, and puts a hand on his shoulder? (Asshole Jeanist doesn't qualify. That gel counts as a touch attack. So do Deku's grabs.) Katsuki's 90% sure Hands is doing this to upset Deku, though, not to actually be supportive, so Katsuki'll tolerate it. Deku looks stressed. Deku can suffer some more. Katsuki'll sacrifice a bit of rep for that win.) "Clearly I've been taking better care of him than you have."

OK, but there are lines.

"The fuck you have, loser, you ain't taken care of shit. You can't even cook rice."

"I have a name, brat."

"So do I, asshole, but I don't see you usin' it."

"At least I know it and I've been not using it on purpose."

"Just tell yourself I've been doing the same then, what the fuck's your problem?"

"I've been doing that. It was working fine. The problem is that now I know that wasn't what it was."

Like that answers anything.

"The fuck difference does it make? It's been 25 days now I ain't been using your stupid name, get over it already."

Hands glares at him.

"No. I am not 'getting over' this, I do not 'get over' anything, and your precious allies are lucky I am not disintegrating them because they ruined my breakfast, they're trying to steal you back again when neither of them lifted a finger when it mattered, and your precious Sensei hasn't treated you as anything more than a machine since he got here."

"They ain't lucky, loser, you couldn't cuz they're fuckin' better," Katsuki corrects him bluntly, finally taking pity on said allies and shrugging off Hands' hand, rolling his eyes.

(A few lines around Sensei's eyes smooth out.)

(Deku fuckin sags, relief written all over his stupid nerdy face.)

Relief, and, annoyingly--

"Did you just--?" Deku starts slowly.

"No," Katsuki snaps, shutting that down instantly.

"You did," Deku says obstinately.

"I fucking didn't, you and Sensei together are better, that and ain't an 'and/or', you ain't got a ranged attack, you on your own would be fucking dust cuz he's a speedy little shit and his quirk's fucking better, so you can eat shit and buzz off and die."

Deku sends him a hurt look.

Hands looks kinda smug.

Sensei sighs and finally lets himself blink.

Then:

“Are his injuries life-threatening, problem child?” Sensei asks, watching Hands like Hands has maybe dropped from a ten to a nine on the threat scale.

(He's also kinda looking at Katsuki like he's not rolling sense motive checks on him anymore, like Katsuki's maybe passed whatever test it was he set, so looks like Katsuki maybe isn't gonna be getting his head kicked in any time soon. So that's nice. Sensei can have a point for that, and Katsuki will maybe let himself relax a fraction, it's not like Katsuki enjoys the idea of being kicked in the head, he's not Deku.)

"I'm not injured, hero," Hands hisses hatefully.

“You got bandages round your shitty neck, loser," Katsuki flicks 'em for emphasis. "Just cuz you can't see 'em doesn't make 'em not there. Yeah, Sensei, he's fine. He got some rebar through him when the building we were in collapsed, but I cauterised the wound. His leg’s fucked; broken. I don’t--” and it sucks that Deku’s gotta be here hearing this, but, “I dunno if I did a good enough job. He needs a professional to check it cuz his shitty wounds keep seeping, but it ain't gonna kill him.”

Sensei nods.

“Are yours? The truth, problem child.”

“…I got a few bruises,” Katsuki reluctantly concedes. “Stubbed my toe a couple of times. Was pretty dark in the sewer we fell into for a couple of weeks there. Nothing life-threatening. Nothing the gummy-crone won’t be able to fix.”

Sensei keeps looking at him. Sensei can keep looking at him as long as he wants, though, cuz Katsuki ain’t fessing up to squat when Deku's right there. (Hands doesn’t snitch on him either, even though Katsuki technically snitched on Hands, so Hands can go up to a 3/20 human being in Katsuki's book.)

Sensei grills him under The Stare for a solid 5 mins before he moves on with a, “All right, problem child. And were any of the 16 bodies you mentioned in your message killed by either of you?”

“One, maybe?”

“Maybe?” Sensei echoes, not sounding too impressed.

"How you have yet to land yourself in prison, brat, is a mystery," Hands mutters.

Katsuki ignores him.

“I dunno if it was human,” Katsuki clarifies. “It could talk, but it had eight legs and eyes, and it could see in the dark pretty well, and it wanted to—” he’s gotta keep his voice clinical here, Deku’s gonna know if Katsuki’s anything but got this, Katsuki had it then and he has it now, “—eat me, or my eyes, anyway. Fucked up piece’ve shit. Was pretty strong. Dunno if it was just a monster or if it was a person with weird food choices. Hands got it in the back, fuckin’ trigger-happy loser doesn’t get the concept of ‘arrest’, so it’s just dust. The other 15 we just found there, I dunno what killed ‘em, but I cut off a bit of ‘em for ID before Hands nuked the rest. ‘s a lotta bodies for one place. Probably worth a sweep with torches or something in case there’s more, cuz I doubt the 15 I found were all. We nuked some slimes too, but I didn’t bother collecting the dust. They weren’t humanoid, they were ~30m, and there’s still a fuckton of ‘em down there if they need to be researched at all.”

Sensei’s being kinda quiet.

Katsuki’s not really sure why.

“We didn’t find any bodies outside the sewer. Just a few shitty extras, fuckin’ assholes wouldn’t lend their stupid phones, or I’d’ve called you sooner. Hands didn't kill shit, I kept an eye on him. We didn't use our quirks on any shitty extras. ‘s basically it.”

Deku and Sensei are both being quiet.

"I typed up a mission report on it; can email it to you later if you want more details, but not you, Deku, you can fuck off and die and I better not find you snooped around and read it anyway later."

Deku makes a tiny, unhappy noise.

Katsuki ignores it.

“…I saw on Raccoon-eyes' page you got us booked in for the Provisionals in three days, Sensei. If I get back to UA today and train over the weekend, am I gonna be able to go?” Katsuki checks.

No, he's not anxious here. He's just--

Katsuki's rational, is all. He doesn't have an Ultimate yet, and the rest of Class 1-A do, and Sensei wouldn't teach it if you didn't need it.

But his reflexes for what's around him and trying to bite his back are better, it's not that he's totally stagnated, he's pretty sure his pain tolerance is higher, too, and even if he hasn't leveled up, he's still gotta be better than Inviso-girl at anything that isn't stealth, right? (Unless she's been holding back too, he can't rule that out, not now.)

“Kacchan—” Deku breaks off, choked, stupid eyes watering.

(Because of course Deku isn't just gonna let it drop.)

(And of course Deku's gonna cry, too.)

Katsuki doesn’t get it.

He’s safe, he’s alive, he clearly had that, what the fuck is there to cry about, except Deku’s stupidity in believing some shitty clone was Katsuki? But Katsuki’s never got Deku, not really. Deku cries when he loses and when he wins and when you punch him and when you walk by without punching him, and Katsuki’s gonna assume Deku’s just being weird and annoying like usual and ignore him.

Deku clears his throat about three times before his nerdy ass can spit out his stupid question.

(Sensei is still not answering.)

(Katsuki can feel that nagging, slithering feeling he got yesterday forming again.)

"Kacchan, what did you eat?"

What does Deku think he ate, it was a fuckin' sewer.

"Universe juice, Deku."

“Kacchan...”

"Go dive down there yourself a few days if your stalkery ass can't handle not knowing what I ate. I ain't stopping ya."

Deku makes a tiny, pained noise, eyes still swimming.

Katsuki ignores him.

Also, Katsuki is still waiting here, where the fuck is his answer?

"...Yes, problem child. Once you have seen Recovery Girl, and once we have--" Sensei's gaze flicks to Hands, who's looking sour, "--dealt with the fact that we have, apparently, apprehended the head of the League of Villains, and once we have worked out what to do about your double--" (fuckin' kick its head in, Katsuki'll do the honours if Sensei's feeling soft) "--you will be able to participate in the Provisionals next week."

"He ain't really their head," Katsuki feels it's fair to say. "They Twiced him, too. Loser doesn't really have a side at the moment, 's why he keeps trying to recruit me."

"It isn't," Hands sneers, glaring at him. "I'm recruiting you because I want you on my side, and I'd do it anyway. I did do it anyway. And I am my side."

Sensei looks unimpressed.

Katsuki relates.

Unlike Deku, cuz now Hands' hand isn't around Katsuki's neck, Deku's nerdy gaze is zeroing in on Hands' bandages like they're fucking bullseye's.

"They, um. Your friends-- or, no, your army?-- did that to you when-- when you were with Kacchan, and in that condition? That's tough."

"Bring that look a few feet closer, hero, and I will melt it and your skin off your face," Hands hisses.

Loser probably means it, too. It's a losing effort, though, cuz Deku's a soft, nice, 20/20 human being and Hands is currently on less than 100% HP with some bandages. Deku ain't gonna lose that look till Hands beats up someone bad enough to make 'em cry (or die), Katsuki'd know, and Hands ain't gonna get the chance to do that with Sensei and Katsuki around. (Katsuki doesn't do sorry, but if he did, he'd be tempted to give one to Hands right now. Too late for that shit now though.)

Hands kinda splits his glare between Katsuki and Deku; Deku fidgets, sweats, and keeps looking sorry for him (maybe for Katsuki, too); and Katsuki, well, kinda glares at Sensei cuz Sensei created this mess by bringing Deku so Sensei should take responsibility and fix it.

"...I am not awake enough for this," Sensei mutters.

Four weeks ago, Katsuki wouldn't've done shit about that. Extenuating circumstance 1 though: Katsuki's kinda in the (bad; shitty) habit of making breakfast for people who aren't Katsuki.

"Shitty extra 3 has coffee if you're a fan of instant shit," Katsuki offers.

Sensei sends Katsuki a Done look.

Not a 100% Done look, though.

"He's a fucking pushover, Sensei; probably won't even charge Deku for the wall, let alone you for one coffee. Can make you one if you're worried about Deku wrecking a second wall or something, I know where he keeps his shit."

("You were the one who kicked me through it, Kacchan," Deku mutters plaintively.)

Katsuki ignores that.

"Problem child..."

Katsuki waits expectantly.

Sensei looks at all of them a bit more, before he finally sighs, lets his hair drop, and his eyes stop flashing red.

"...Black, Bakugou. No sugar."

Bitter as Hands' soul, huh?

Katsuki can do that.

"You can make me one, too, if you're making them anyway," Hands sneers eying Sensei nastily.

Loser really doesn't get that he's a prisoner, but whatever. Katsuki's got no idea how he takes it, so the loser can have it like Sensei's.

"Kacchan--"

"Eat shit and die."

Chapter Text

Izuku doesn't think Aizawa gets it. Not 100%.

Kacchan doesn't do standing-in-the-way-to-protect-people.

Aizawa-sensei is amazing and cool, but Aizawa-sensei hasn't studied Kacchan for 11 years like Izuku has (and Izuku means that in a non-creepy way. It's not like he hacks Kacchan's confidential files or anything, no matter what Kacchan likes to imply. It's just that Kacchan is cool aside from his terrible personality, he's the coolest person in the world Izuku knows who isn't All Might, and Izuku's 15-year plan since he was 3 has been to be friends with Kacchan, it's right up there with 'being a hero' and it's normal to take an interest in your (future) friends.)

And this?

This thing where Kacchan's watching Aizawa like he's testing things to see what he can and can't get away with while he casually keeps Shigaraki behind him all the way to the island kitchen and starts getting water for the kettle and then kind of leans against the cupboard where the cups are after fishing two of them out, keeping half an eye on Izuku and half an eye on Aizawa and zero eyes on Shigaraki, who's basically making sure Kacchan stays between him and any potential kicks to the head?

This isn't Kacchanish behavior. It's protecting a back that isn't Kacchan's, and it's a zero flight zone.

Izuku's worried.

Izuku is pretty familiar with the Kacchan Flight Zone radius.

It's not like he's pulled out a tape measure to get it down to the nearest millimeter or anything, but prior to yesterday, if Izuku had to guestimate, he'd say that it sits at about ~3.5m for Izuku (~3.5m in Kacchan's cone of vision; ~1.5m if Izuku's behind him and not muttering), ~2m for the rest of Class 1-A and ~1m for everyone who was on his team in the Cavalry Battle except for Kirishima-kun, who also has a flight zone of ~0m and gets to do things like lean on Kacchan's shoulder because-- as far as Izuku can tell from relevant inquiries-- Kirishima lets Kacchan tutor him and once said nice things about Kacchan when Kacchan's ex-middle-school classmates said mean (but accurate) things about what Kacchan was like in middle school. (Kirishima-kun also tells Kacchan at least once a day that he's 'manly as hell' with a straight face, but for now, Izuku's hoping that's not a significant factor. Kacchan is cool, sure, but Izuku thinks he'd die of embarrassment if he tried telling Kacchan that, he'd die of embarrassment just picturing trying to say that to Kacchan's face, he's feeling embarrassed even now, you just don't say things like that when you're Izuku and Kacchan's Kacchan, Kacchan would blow him up if Izuku didn't melt from embarrassment on the spot, and if that's the prerequisite for a 0.0m flight zone that Izuku doesn't have to grab and hold onto Kacchan's arm for first, then Izuku's got years of complementing printed-out images of Kacchan's face ahead of him before he gets there, because Izuku's going to need to work his way up to the real thing.)

Izuku really, really hopes that's not the prerequisite.

Izuku's kind of been hypothesizing Kirishima-kun's Hardening is the hidden factor in why Kacchan will let him lean on his shoulder. (One For All's a very durable quirk, too, Izuku can also take blasts to the face, there's hope yet, right?) Izuku's going to need to rethink that hypothesis, though, sadly, because there's nothing about Decay that would make Shigaraki resistant to Kacchan's quirk and those kicks Kacchan's giving him look like they are hurting Shigaraki just as much as they normally hurt Izuku, so it looks like quirk compatibility and pain immunity don't affect the flight zone, there's some other criteria Kacchan judges it on.

Izuku needs his notebook, but his notebook's in his bag and Kacchan's going to kill him (and Notebook #19) if Izuku starts writing notes here.

Not that it matters.

Notebook 19 is mostly filled with observations about the wrong Kacchan. (There's no hope at all Kacchan's going to play Uno in any group containing Izuku now, not even if Izuku ambush-joins a session Kacchan's winning and tells Kacchan Izuku bets Kacchan can't beat him.) Kacchan isn't even going to stay in the same room Izuku enters unless it's class or unless Kacchan's trying to kill him in it because Izuku didn't just leave Kacchan to die, he mistook Other Kacchan for Real Kacchan.

(Izuku wants to be sick just picturing what that would have meant.

(Izuku-- he doesn't want to think about it, not when Kacchan's right there in the kitchen glaring at him like he can see into Izuku's soul and is going to take it personally if Izuku cries, but Kacchan's looking too thin, too hungry, and Kacchan's looking so tired and and Kacchan's been alone with nobody but a villain for 25 days and-- 

Izuku would be feeling worried even if Kacchan hadn't used that careful, clinical tone to talk about things, like he couldn't talk normally because then Izuku would feel sorry for him, but it makes it worse that Kacchan did.

Izuku needs to not feel sorry for Kacchan because feeling sorry for Kacchan will hurt Kacchan, Izuku knows it will, but how can he stop?

How can he stop?

How frightened and alone must Kacchan have felt-- must anyone have felt-- being trapped with no idea where he was after being kidnapped by villains, injured (because if Kacchan's admitting he's got a stubbed toe, Kacchan's got at least one broken bone Kacchan's hiding) with a collapsed building on top of him, and nobody around except a dying villain? (Because Kacchan said he cauterized a wound, which is risky and extremely illegal with Kacchan's quirk and Kacchan's zero qualifications in surgery, Kacchan knows that better than anyone, and cauterization or not, Kacchan doesn't do 'saving' of the not-murdering-villains variety unless you're literally dying  and there's nobody else in the universe around who can be bullied into letting Kacchan delegate the job to them.)

It was dark down there, Kacchan said.

Kacchan was trapped somewhere wet and cold with no light and no rescue, surrounded by monsters trying to eat him, and with nothing to eat himself that Izuku wouldn't feel sorry for him for having had to eat (because otherwise he'd have told Izuku what he ate.)

No one came for him.

Nobody ever would have.

(Did Kacchan wait a bit, at the start, like Izuku used to wait at the shopping centers whenever he got side-tracked by All Might displays and lost Mom again while grocery shopping because it's Rescue 101 that you stay where you are when you're lost because then other people who are looking for you can find you? If Kacchan did, how long was it before it slowly dawned on Kacchan that nobody was going to come for him?)

Izuku's got to stop thinking about this.

Kacchan's glaring murder and Izuku stupid eyes won't stop watering.

Kacchan won, Kacchan always wins, of course Kacchan didn't let this kill him, but Izuku still wants to cry, he'd want to cry for anybody who had to go through that, because it's not just Izuku imagining how Kacchan must have felt, or what kind of situation he would have been in. Izuku knows-- doesn't like remembering back to four weeks ago-- but Izuku knows how people look when they're trapped under crushed buildings without enough to eat or drink, speared by rebar or crushed by rubble.

Izuku's quirk hurt from lifting concrete those five days he snuck out and hopped the train to Tokyo, Kamino ward, to look for Kacchan, and he remembers the faces of the people who were lying there with crushed bones--

(Izuku knows the police kept him back from the worst of it, the worst of it was where the Heroes were handling things, but it was still bad, trying to help people delirious with pain, trying to help people who were fine but who screamed at you anyway for taking too long to find them because they were frightened and upset and they'd lost things like their phones and their computers that they needed for work; trying to follow the police's and the medical teams' directions because Izuku hadn't even covered first-aid, he didn't know what to do, he didn't want to make things worse by trying to help but he also didn't want to do nothing.)

(He didn't see it, but he heard police telling people: I'm sorry, ma'am, sir, but they didn't make it--)

(He heard police telling parents that there wasn't enough room in the morgue to take their dead kids there--)

There'd been a dog, once, too.

Izuku remembers a nice police officer making him stop for a drink Izuku didn't want because so what if his muscles were aching, there were still people who needed help and there'd been a paw sticking out of the rubble a few dozen meters away.

Izuku had cleared the rubble; tried lifting it, even though it was stiff and its brown eyes were already glassy. (It was about day three after the earthquake; Kacchan had still been missing; Izuku hadn't been all that awake at the time). There'd been a sharp, jagged lump of concrete underneath and Izuku still remembers the odd, horrible, wet feeling of his hand going straight through the grey, furry chest, because under the skin there'd been nothing solid of it left.)

(Izuku didn't tell anyone.)

(It's not like it was a person, and Izuku was supposed to be stopping anyway, and the real heroes were dealing with so many worse things than Izuku was.)

Izuku wonders if Shigaraki-- evil as he is-- had been trapped like that dog, and if he was dying with the same, glazed, helpless look in his eyes before Kacchan saved him.

(How awful must it have been for Shigaraki, too? Trapped, dying, helpless, and abandoned by his allies. Was Shigaraki frightened, too? Izuku doesn't think Shigaraki's a very seasoned villain, you don't hunt down Izukus in shopping stores and ask them why nobody thinks you're as cool a villain as Stain is if you're a seasoned villain who's comfortable with your life choices. Even if you are a seasoned villain, you can still be frightened by being trapped and pinned by rebar, though. Did Shigaraki wait for the League of Villains to come for him, too? Did he, like Kacchan, wait until hope went, and have to slowly accept the fact that he'd been abandoned?)

Izuku can't properly imagine how terrible that would be.

To not just be dying, but to have nobody care that you're dying; to have your body rot in darkness, with not one family member or friend to cry over it--

"Is he always like that?" Shigaraki says snidely to Kacchan, from the kitchen, sending Izuku an unfriendly glare.

Izuku hastily wipes a sleeve across his eyes trying to hide the evidence he's been feeling sorry for Kacchan, for both of them, because he's already hurt Kacchan so much--

"Fuckin' annoying? Yup," Kacchan says, unimpressed. "Used to to rescue worms from the sidewalk after it rained when we were little. Looked at 'em the exact same way."

"So basically," Shigaraki narrows his eyes even more meanly, "he's looking at me like I'm a dying worm right now?"

Unfairly, Kacchan doesn't even hesitate.

"Yup."

"I'm not," Izuku defends himself, inching closer.

(He's 4m away, but Kacchan's already straightening up from the cupboard and glaring.)

(Izuku inches back a step; Kacchan goes back to lounging against the cupboard, still glaring at him but kind of non-lethally.)

(~4.5m).

(It hasn't been that high since middle school.)

Izuku's not sure if it's because Shigaraki's behind Kacchan (Izuku doesn't have any reference point on how the flight zone is affected by Kacchan in guard dog mode because Kacchan doesn't do that) or if it's just because Izuku failed Kacchan when Kacchan needed him most, and it's the Sludge Monster all over again, Izuku let it go and it hurt Kacchan because Izuku didn't notice what he should have noticed and Izuku couldn't do anything but nearly die to fix it then and he probably can't do anything but nearly die to fix this now because Kacchan doesn't cry when you hurt his feelings but that doesn't mean Kacchan doesn't have feelings or that they don't get hurt, and when they do Kacchan does things like send massive blasts at you strong enough to level buildings if he can get away with it and he hunts you down obsessively and he makes you suffer until Kacchan decides the score's been settled (Izuku doesn't know what Kacchan's criteria is for that, either; Izuku doesn't even know what he did wrong in elementary school to go from 'hanger-onner' to 'mortal foe' aside from being born quirkless, Izuku's never asked and Kacchan's never told him) so Izuku's got no idea if nearly dying to even things up would even help.

But Izuku has to do something. Because when Kacchan can't do Option 1 or someone else (like Aizawa or All Might or Mom) stops him then he does worse things like clam up and leave school early and look upset and ignore you unless you chase him and do things like grab him so that he has to pay attention to you.

(Because you haven't just hurt Kacchan, which Kacchan accepts can happen but he'll still make you suffer for, you've told him that him being hurt doesn't matter, and if you're not sorry or prepared to accept revenge, Kacchan accepts that and moves on and forgets about you.)

Izuku's seen him do it before.

Kacchan never spoke to those two friends who left him to die against the Sludge Monster ever again.

They were friends and they hung out at least once a week for three years and they made the (terrible) mistake of being too ashamed of what they did to immediately face Kacchan. They avoided Kacchan after classes for one week, and Kacchan didn't get mad and ask them 'Why did you do that?', Kacchan blocked their numbers, unfriended them online, and ghosted them in real life like they didn't exist. Izuku remembers crystal clear the awkward, half-steps they'd take, the way they'd hang back a little more uncertainly in class each day, later, trying-- Izuku knows they were trying-- to say 'sorry we were frightened and ran, and sorry we didn't say sorry soon enough after', only Kacchan never stopped, Kacchan walked out the door the moment the bell rang, and they never tried to make him stop (too scared; too guilty), and Kacchan never said a word to either of them for the rest of that 10 months of middle school, or ever again.

(It's a fate worse than death, and it's a fate Izuku never wants to experience.)

Izuku envies Todoroki-kun his strategic retreat, Todoroki-kun can get away with it because he has a brother to check on and Kacchan won't ignore him until Kacchan decides Kacchan's better, but Izuku's got neither of those things going for him, Izuku's got no excuse to leave the room, and Izuku's staying firmly in the firing line and embracing Suffering, thank you.

Izuku will take death-by-stress (he knows what Kacchan was doing with Shigaraki's hand on his neck before; true, Kacchan's got a 0m flight zone, Kacchan wasn't looking like he minded that hand, but Kacchan's also not suicidal, and Kacchan knows as well as Izuku does that even if Aizawa's there, Aizawa blinks. But Kacchan is petty enough to shoot himself in the foot to make Izuku suffer, and it's working, Izuku is suffering, he feels very sorry for Shigaraki in a non-worm-y way but Izuku wants Kacchan to be nowhere near him) and Izuku will also take death-by-back-kick (but really, compared to All Might's bottom-attack, that kick was nothing) and Izuku will even accept death-by-explosion (not that he's gotten any yet) before Izuku takes death-by-being-ghosted-by-Kacchan.

Izuku shuffles another step closer.

(~4.00.)

"Fuck off, Deku. I can fuckin' see what you're doing, nerd. I already got one loser contributing fucking nothing in the kitchen, I don't need two, go fuck off back over to Sensei," Kacchan glares.

"I could contribute, Kacchan."

"I'm boiling one shitty kettle and pouring two shitty mugs of hot water on top of instant coffee, Deku, they don't even want milk, which part of the operation does your nerdy ass not think I got under control?"

"..."

Kacchan isn't being fair.

Izuku's sure he could help somehow.

(He could help by being a human shield between Kacchan and Shigaraki's neck-grabbing fingers.)

Except Izuku has a very, very horrible feeling he maybe doesn't need to, because Kacchan's got nasty levels of paranoia, and if Kacchan thinks it's safe to turn his back on someone it usually is. And this close--

4.0m is not as close as he wants to be, but it's close enough to see the way Shigaraki's watching Kacchan when Kacchan's not watching Shigaraki.

Izuku knows what that look is. It's the look of a fellow sufferer who's worked out that underneath Kacchan's horrible personality is someone who's nearly as amazing as All Might is, only unlike Izuku, who only gets 'eat shit and die', Shigaraki is getting--

It's not the look Kacchan gets when Kirishima leans on his shoulder, like Kacchan's decided he owns that arm now and is going to take it personally if that arm leans on anyone else (and probably has, poor Kirishima-kun, poor everyone), it's--

Exasperation, maybe?

A kind of Sensei-like tiredness, like Shigaraki's an exhausting person Kacchan needs to worry about a lot because he doesn't behave and can't be trusted to look after himself and not damage things, but-- and Izuku can feel a lump of dread solidifying in his chest-- there's a warmth behind it Izuku hasn't really seen on Kacchan's face since middle school, not even on Other Kacchan, because post-UA (where Kacchan stopped being the undisputed best), post the kidnapping (that Other Kacchan still thinks is his fault), post the earthquake he didn't help with (and that Izuku did, but Izuku was looking for Kacchan, Izuku didn't mean to make it a contest, and Kirishima-kun also helped there, too), the rescue where a villain let him go because he felt sorry for him (even his enemies don't take him seriously), the fights he can't start because nobody wants to hurt him so nobody kicks him back like Shigaraki is kicking him back now, Other Kacchan's eyes are usually just angry. (There have been lighter moments, especially this past week-- yesterday especially-- but as a general rule, Class 1-A needs to work to make them last.)

But Real Kacchan's looking--

And Izuku's a bit worried about his chest, it's feeling something stabbing at it, feelings-wise--

Kacchan's looking like if he had a birthday party, Shigaraki would probably get an invitation, and if Kacchan was picking teammates, Shigaraki wouldn't be left till dead last.

If Izuku feels like twisting the knife in his chest a bit more, Kacchan looks like he actually enjoys being told that it's unacceptable that he's just assuming everyone takes coffee like his precious Sensei does and not even asking how Shigaraki takes his coffee ("You got a fuckin' tongue, loser, fuckin' use it if ya got a problem instead of whining, I ain't a fuckin' mind-reader,") and that it's a murderable offence to have given Eraserhead the superior cup without the chip on it ("The fuck does it matter if there's a chip? You don't even drink from that side.")

(But it's not the chip the matters because the problem isn't the cup, it's who does Kacchan like more, Izuku gets that. Izuku sets his bar lower now (Kacchan making coffee at all for example, and Izuku doesn't even like coffee) but back when Izuku was four Izuku would have wanted the superior cup, too. Izuku doesn't know if Kacchan gets it really, Kacchan never really gets the effect he has on people when he's not being horrible to them, but it's a fight and Kacchan likes fights and probably Shigaraki could have said he wanted the cup with the chip and Kacchan would have fought him on that, too.

Shigaraki's trying to swap them; Kacchan's pointing out purely to be perverse that since the water isn't boiled it ain't gonna make a difference which side the cup's on, it's still going to Sensei if it's a better cup (Izuku really doubts Aizawa cares).

Shagaraki's glaring murder and Kacchan watches him do that like that's a victory with a tiny smirk that Izuku's not even sure Kacchan knows is there, a hint of tension behind his glare that says Kacchan's deliberately burying his head in the sand this-is-going-to-end-wise, and Izuku kind of wants to cry again just a bit because whatever dark things Kacchan went through, they're over now, there's no way Izuku can make up for not being there for Kacchan because Kacchan isn't going to tell him what he went through, Kacchan's probably not going to admit that he did go through anything, and Kacchan's already made himself happier in 25 days of being lost than Izuku and all of Class 1-A have managed to make Other Kacchan in 15 days of safety, and at some point while doing that he's decided that the evil villain who kidnapped Kacchan in the first place, who nearly killed Izuku at USJ, whose dry, papery fingers still give Izuku nightmares, is worthy of the Kacchan Respect that Izuku's been failing to get for 11 years.

(Because Kacchan said Shigaraki melted a spider and some slimes and that means Kacchan wasn't killing them himself, and that means that Shigaraki didn't just give Kacchan 10 seconds of extra breathing time, Shigaraki actually helped. Kacchan hates Izuku's guts, Izuku knows he does, but Kacchan didn't hit Izuku once for ten months because Izuku helped him against the sludge monster. (Izuku thinks it was that, anyway.) Kacchan hit him later, because apparently lying to Kacchan about your quirk for 11 years cancels out giving Kacchan 10 seconds extra breathing time against a sludge monster, but it's not like the sludge monster would have got Kacchan if Izuku hadn't made All Might drop it anyway, so it's not like Izuku has a leg to stand on ethically for feeling that's kind of unfair of Kacchan.)

If Shigaraki helped Kacchan (when Izuku wasn't there for him-- when none of them were--)

Even though Shigaraki is the reason Kacchan got kidnapped, Izuku can see how this happened.

(Izuku can see why it happened on both ends.)

(Kacchan is cool, of course people who aren't Izuku think so, too, even evil people, and especially if Kacchan's just saved them from dying, it's not like anyone wants to die, and Kacchan mightn't ever say things like thank you, but that doesn't mean Kacchan isn't.)

It sucks.

It really, really, really sucks.

It worse than sucks, it hurts.

(And not just because Izuku wishes it was him who'd fallen into that sewer and either saved or been saved by Kacchan.)

It hurts because Izuku wants Kacchan to be happy, he wants Kacchan to be happy even if Izuku isn't the reason he is, but Kacchan isn't going to be able to keep whatever weird thing it is he has going with Shigaraki, because Shigaraki needs to go to jail, Kacchan's even said he's going to put him there, and Kacchan's going to be back with Class 1-A who Kacchan won't trust, back with Izuku who he hates, and Kacchan's eyes are going to go back to being hard and unfriendly and Kacchan's not going to smile at all.

Izuku slips back off to rejoin Sensei.

Aizawa-sensei looks like he's got a headache. Izuku assumes it's Kacchan-induced.

Izuku gets to work righting the table a bit, so Kacchan has somewhere to put Sensei's coffee.

It's sort of wobbly where one leg broke, but Izuku thinks he spotted some duct tape lying out there in that shed he crashed through before, and that does an OK job of steadying it.

(Izuku keeps thinking about Kacchan in that sewer.)

(He keeps thinking about how little Kacchan must have had to eat, while Izuku's been eating katsudon six days a week.)

(Izuku keeps thinking about what Kacchan must have been through, to be looking at Shigaraki like that, and what Shigaraki must have been through, to be not running and not killing anyone even though he has to know prison's looming just so he can stay longer with Kacchan.)

(His stupid eyes keep watering.)

(Izuku can't get the duct tape right. He can't get anything right today.)

"Does he. Um. Have to go to jail?" Izuku checks.

Aizawa sends Izuku a look that's 4 different shades of Done. 

Izuku picks at his sleeve a bit.

"He helped Kacchan."

Aizawa adds a 5th shade of Doneness to his Done look.

"Technically, we don't know when he got Twiced?" Izuku tries.

"Problem child, 'he seems to have developed an unhealthy attachment towards the child he kidnapped' is not a get out of jail free card for villains who have killed as many people as he has."

Izuku knows. That's why Izuku was going for the 'Twiced' excuse. Izuku wasn't suggesting being honest.

Aizawa adds a 6th shade of Doneness to his Done look.

"If you have time on your hands to worry about this, problem child, you can Google 'Stockholm Syndrome.'"

(Izuku does.)

(The search also turns up something called 'Lima Syndrome'.)

And Izuku can see what Aizawa's going for. He can.

But in the kitchen, Shigaraki's still looking at Kacchan like Izuku does, and he's still objecting to the cup choice when it doesn't even matter.

(Kacchan's saying Shigaraki can go pick out his own cup if he can be stuffed looking through all 40 of 'em for a second one with no chip in it, cuz Kacchan can't and Kacchan doesn't give a shit, and why the fuck does the loser want him to make it for him anyway when he's two fuckin' feet away from the kettle? He's got two working hands, nobody's cut 'em off yet. Shigaraki sends Aizawa's knife a dark, toxic look and says he can't pick out his own cup because then they'll have a clear line of sight to him and they might cut his fingers off because Eraserhead specializes in sneak attacks.)

Izuku's a tiny bit horrified. Nobody is going to cut off Shigaraki's hands. Nobody cuts off any bits of villains.

Do they?

"So what if Sensei does? We'd probably join 'em back on after," Kacchan says callously. "Keep 'em on ice, and we got six hours to stick 'em back on again for ya. Could probably get you somewhere medical-related by then, assuming traffic wasn't too bad."

Shigaraki kicks Kacchan.

Kacchan kicks him back.

(Iida-kun would be making both of them apologize, but Iida-kun isn't here.)

They do bring the coffee over eventually.

They don't stay at the table to drink it, though.

Shigaraki hangs back, glaring at Kacchan until Kacchan stomps back to rejoin him (Kacchan's limping; it's more obvious when he stomps. Izuku's pretty sure Kacchan's leg's broken; Izuku tries not to look at it because Kacchan's just going to get mad if Kacchan thinks Izuku's noticed and is feeling bad about it), and then Shigaraki curls in on himself like an unhygienic spider on one of the stools in the most inaccessible corner, sitting on his good foot; bad foot dangling, glaring whenever either Izuku or Aizawa twitch and holding his coffee like he doesn't trust them not to steal it.

(Because he did get the superior cup.)

(Izuku's pretty sure the stabbing feeling in his chest might be envy.)

"Clingy little shit. You're worse than Deku, you know that, loser?" Kacchan sighs, not sounding nearly as annoyed at Shigaraki as he'd be at Izuku for doing that exact same thing. And then, louder: "Anyone called the police yet? Cuz I don't think that shitty taxi wasting someone's yen out there's gonna take six."

"I have texted UA," Aizawa says, sipping his coffee.

"Why not the police?" Shigaraki narrows his eyes. "Too many press leaks, hmm? I hope you aren't dreaming of keeping your embarrassing little mix-up a secret from the general public, hero?"

"Of course they're gonna keep it a fuckin' secret, asshole. Or they better be. Missing the fact some shitty clone's replaced your top student and having a top student who's weak enough in the first place that they can't stop 'emselves from getting kidnapped by villains as shit as you lot are's the kinda shit that makes schools close, and the only other hero school worth going to is Shiketsu. Like fuck am I wearing a stupid hat for the next three years until I graduate, and like fuck am I gonna be told 'poor you' by a bunch of shitty extras who don't give a shit about me whenever I set foot outta home to buy groceries, so you better not say shit about this either during your stupid trial or I will fuckin' murder you."

There's a lot of wrong things about that sentence, and Izuku doesn't think he's the only one who's noticed, going by the way Aizawa looks like Kacchan's aging him by 1 year per minute every time Kacchan opens his mouth.

(Izuku wants to say something that would help, but Izuku doesn't think anything from Izuku is going to make Kacchan feel better because Kacchan's brain works in weird ways and Kacchan hates Izuku's guts so even if Izuku did say the right thing, Kacchan would probably take offense anyway.)

Shigaraki sends both Aizawa and Izuku a poisonous look, before: "Don't sell yourself short, brat. Anybody can be ganked," Shigaraki says to Kacchan firmly, with the authority of experience, probably because he's evil and is usually doing the ganking.

"All Might can't be ganked."

Izuku lets out a tiny, distressed squeak when Shigaraki thwacks Kacchan like Kacchan's mom does.

(Kacchan sends him the same resentful, sour look Kacchan usually sends Mrs. Bakugou, too.)

(Izuku would feel so much better if those hands weren't so close to Kacchan's head.)

(He'd feel better if no one was smacking Kacchan in the head, period.)

"Anybody can be ganked, brat," Shigaraki-- who obviously doesn't share those feelings-- says firmly. "Even All Might. All Might was ganked. Sensei got one lung and most of his stomach before All Might got most of Sensei's brains. We'd have ganked him at USJ, too, if you brats hadn't been in our way, Kurogiri had him. Nobody is invincible, not even your precious All Might, and eventually the LOV will gank him even if it's not me leading it. Even your precious Eraserhead got ganked by my nomu. No hero class is immune to sneak attacks."

Aizawa sends Shigaraki an unimpressed look.

Izuku makes a tiny, pained noise because even if that's a pep talk, it's a very evil pep talk.

Kacchan rolls his eyes, like this kind of thing is normal.

"Whatever, loser. You won't, cuz we'll still be in your way, and we're fuckin' better than your shitty nomu and your warp gate, so you ain't ever gonna gank All Might and your ex-minions better not sic a nomu on Sensei again, either, or they're fuckin' dead. Explains a lot about your shit life choices, though, if the asshole who makes your plans for you is missing most of his brains. Your shitty party needs a healer yesterday."

"You know first aid, brat."

"You wanna stick your good leg down so I ain't kicking you in your fucked one, loser?"

"Careful, brat. You are counting on my silence to dodge Shiketsu's terrible hats."

Kacchan snorts.

(Kacchan snorts.)

And Kacchan's letting the 'it was my fault I got kidnapped' subject drop, too.

Maybe Aizawa's right, Izuku thinks, trying not to feel left out watching them, trying to ignore the stabbing pain in his chest that is definitely envy, trying to ignore the depressed lump in his chest, but if one person has Stockholm and the other person has Lima (and Izuku doesn't even know which of them has which), don't they cancel out like -1 x -1 and mean two afflicted people are basically OK, and it's OK to assume this is fine and normal and healthy and nobody traumatized each other to get to this state?

Whether they are or aren't, though, watching this hurts.

Izuku wants Kacchan to be OK.

OK-OK, not--

Not this, where someone from UA is going to come and do legal things and make Kacchan alone again.

Izuku wants All Might to come and laugh and fix things.

(Izuku wants Shigaraki to not be an evil person who's trying to kill All Might, because maybe if he wasn't, Izuku could come up with a plan to keep him out of prison-- Izuku's already come up with three-- and then Kacchan could keep looking tired and exasperated and not-hurting.)

But he can't, he's a hero, he knows what Shigaraki does to people when he's not behind Kacchan's back. Izuku knows how it feels to have Shigaraki's fingers around your neck and have him whispering threats in your ear and to wonder if you're ever going to see your mom or Kacchan or Todoroki-kun or the rest of Class 1-A again.

Nothing is OK, and it's like Izuku is back in the earthquake zone staring at his hands after he put down that dog, because all Izuku knows is that it hurts and nothing is how it should be, nothing's how he wants it to be, and Izuku has no idea what he needs to do to (or even if there is anything he can do) to make things even remotely close to being OK again.

Izuku pulls up a chair, perches on it, and rests his chin on his hands on the table he broke and sighs.

Over in the kitchen, Shigaraki says something Izuku doesn't catch.

Kacchan kicks Shigaraki in his bad leg.

Izuku sighs a second time.

(6:31 a.m., the clock says. It doesn't feel like it's been just 26 minutes ago that they got here. It feels like it's been hours.)

Izuku sighs a third time.

(Sensei sends Izuku a look that says Izuku's exhausting him, too.)

Izuku wishes Shigaraki wasn't an evil serial killer.

(Izuku wishes he could go back in time and make sure Kacchan was never kidnapped; was never in Kamino, trapped and hurt and alone, and was never left with nobody to rely on except for Shigaraki for the too long it took for Kacchan to make it out of the dark.)

((Izuku wishes Kacchan would make him coffee and kick Izuku in the shins and let Izuku tell him he's not weak and believe him, too.))

Chapter Text

Despite appearances, Tomura is only down, not out.

There are knives in these draws, and there’s a bench that would block Eraserhead’s line of sight if he ducked behind it.

The brat's sensitive about blowing up the NPC's house; he probably won't blow Tomura up while they're inside it no matter what Tomura does, and he isn't going to send an explosion outside either after if Tomura can get close enough to that taxi with its fuel tank and it's 10 HP NPC driver before he's followed out. If Tomura gets a knife at the NPC's throat, it won't matter if Eraserhead removes his quirk, he'll still have a perfectly killable hostage to drive him safely away.

(Yes, it's true that Tomura wouldn't need to think about how to dodge the brat if he just Decayed him.

The kid's in range; technically, Tomura could.

But at this point, there's not any point even in pretending he's considering it. The remnants of Tomura's heart of stone (at least where the brat's concerned) are basically cannon fodder at this point. Dignity is dead, it suffered a bruising when he-- the hardened, chaotic evil villain-- got pulled out of the way of a heroic rescue because the brat hadn't seen it as a rescue because the brat doesn't see him as a threat, and when you get thwacked by a kid who tells you you're being sensitive and you feel a sliver of pleased warmth curl somewhere in the ashes of what's left of your soul because he's admitting he gives a shit about you and is going to look up your name (that he has no business not knowing in the first place) then dignity has officially been shot in the head.)

Even Eraserhead isn't taking him seriously.

'Are his injuries life-threatening.' Like Tomura's a plus one to his horrible, annoying class and not the head of the most feared and evil band of criminals in Japan.

Tomura glares at him resentfully, because Tomura is terrifying, thank you.

He is the Symbol of Fear.

His mere existence brings terror to Japan.

"You're gonna melt your shitty cup, loser," his future lieutenant warns him, with an unimpressed look at it. "Quit stressing; prison ain't gonna be that bad."

Tomura (reluctantly) grips it a bit less tightly, and sends the brat a dark look because he's lying and he knows it. Tomura Googled 'prison' last night. Prison's going to be boring and awful, he'll need to wear what someone else tells him to, eat when they tell him to, exercise when they tell him to, it's going to be cold and the food isn't going to taste like it does when his future lieutenant or Kurogiri makes it, and if he does have cellmates the brat won't be around to make sure they don't gank him while he's sleeping and if he doesn't then there'll be nobody to talk to and Tomura will be on his own.

On top of all that awfulness, once he's sentenced, he's going to only be allowed one 2-hour visit per week, and that's a cumulative total, not per person, and while Tomura doubts that anyone but the brat's going to fight for those two hours (assuming he doesn't forget about Tomura when he gets back to UA), two hours isn't enough time to even get through one monologue before the brat's going to have to go.

Even if you do get a tablet in your cell to play games on, you have to pay to send and receive emails, you have to pay for your games, and if the guards decide you're being disrespectful, they take your games away.

(They also beat you, and not like the brat does, they're going to beat Tomura like Father used to, until his ribs hurt and he can't move because Tomura killed some people and doesn't fit their ideals of how society should be and Society hurts you for not doing that because if you aren't doing what Society wants you to, it doesn't see you as human.)

Tomura's not planning on going.

Tomura is-- possibly-- going to think of an alternative way to destroy Society to Sensei's way of destroying Society, since glorious starvation and humanicide isn't quite so appealing as a life goal when there are other people Tomura wants to live who are going to starve with him, and when Tomura maybe wants to live a bit himself. And if Tomura doesn't destroy everything, then he is-- possibly-- going to have to dedicate at least a bit of time to thinking about what rulebook it is that he wants play by and make Society follow instead of All Might's rulebook, because there needs to be someone to delegate boring matters of governance to, otherwise he's going to have to solve all of Society's problems himself and he's not going to have any free time.

(Maybe the Internet will have some ideas? Tomura can probably post a topic online and see if anybody else has any thoughts on this. Better yet, maybe the brat can help him come up with something. It's his fault Tomura needs to think about this, so the least he can do is help out here; the brat's A+ at everything, that probably includes ideas about how Society should be run.)

(Except the brat just thinks it should keep running like it is running because he likes All Might and probably won't be helpful at all--)

But anyway, the fundamentals haven't changed.

Society still needs to go.

It's annoying and oppressive, it still relies on heroes babying NPCs who think that paying taxes gives them an excuse to not care about anybody else except themselves, it still uses Rules and Laws to kill whoever it wants to and uses Rules and Laws to say other people need to go to jail for doing the same thing back, there's still no room in it for anything except what and who it decides it approves of, and if even a child of the Number 2 hero says 'Society is shit' and agrees the police and child protection services can't be trusted, then Tomura thinks it's safe to assume that it's not just the villains it wants to send to jail being biased here.

Escape won't be too hard.

Tomura will have to spend some time in a cell being hit and not being fed enough and questioned by annoying NPCs, but the Internet says he'll have the right to call a lawyer at some point in the proceedings.

He's got Sensei's number.

When the brat's not with him, it won't be a problem calling it.

The LOV might have replaced him with a clone, but Sensei is Sensei. Tomura can't imagine Sensei letting him go to prison, no matter how mad at him Sensei is and no matter how badly Tomura fails. Sensei gives him everything he wants, Sensei believes in him, and on the rare occasion Sensei doesn't agree with Tomura or needs to hurt him so Tomura can get stronger, Sensei tells Tomura what he's doing so that Tomura understands why it's happening and accepts that it needs to happen, too.

Sensei doesn't just leave him to die or lock him outside with plants that make him itch and scratch till he bleeds.

Sensei isn't Father. Sensei doesn't hurt Tomura just because other people hurt Sensei and Tomura makes a convenient target.

Sensei is better than the heroes, so if the brat's allies can accidentally miss things and still get to value him anyway then Sensei-- who is on life support thanks to All Might, and therefore might not have been involved in the swap; Sensei who also (like the brat's classmates) doesn't make a habit of hitting Tomura or letting him lose 30% HP-- is allowed to miss things and still value Tomura anyway, too.

If Sensei hasn't abandoned him intentionally, then Sensei's got Kurogiri to take him within a few miles' radius of wherever Tomura calls him from and Warping to summon Tomura to him after that, so it's not going to be hard to recover Tomura.

It's not even going to take 10 minutes.

Going to the bathroom, poaching that laptop, and just DMing Sensei's Discord would probably be all he needs to do if Tomura doesn't use the VPN. It's not cheating, it's the brat's allies who invalidated the no PvP zone first.

That's all he needs to do, but Tomura's not going to do that yet.

Tomura's going to escape after the brat parks him in his cell and gets (or lets Eraserhead get) his commission money so that it's clear to the press that it's Society's fault he got away, and not his future lieutenant's. The brat isn't going to string up his precious HPSC for not looking for him hard enough, so Tomura will string them up for him and make them suffer for this instead. He's sure they'll lose face by not managing to hold onto a criminal for even 12 hours that a 16-year-old kid has held onto for 25 days and has handed to them on a silver platter.

Tomura is famous.

(He is, no matter what the brat says.)

Tomura will let the news see him being walked into the station before he escapes.

He'll make sure they get the glory so that Society's humiliation after will be as crushing as a high nomu's fist.

And in the meantime, Tomura will drink coffee out of his superior cup, glare at Midoriya and Eraserhead, and assess if the brat's being valued properly by his side, or if Tomura needs to worry about him after Tomura's back with Sensei.

Midoriya is-- annoyingly-- still looking at both of them like they're dying worms, and sighing like he's taking it personally that they're worms who don't want him to help them, but Midoriya gets a (grudging) point for bothering to tell the brat that nobody meant to replace him with an inferior double (which is more than Endeavor's spawn or Eraserhead has so far bothered to do, and it's clear the brat believes him, too, which means the brat trusts him despite his annoyingness) and he gets 0.5 of a point for getting stressed whenever Tomura puts a hand on Bakugou because the brat's side should be stressed by that, the brat's 16 and sitting next to an evil villain, they don't know Tomura likes him.

Tomura's pretty sure they don't, anyway.

They've been here 45 minutes; he can't have made it that obvious.

Eraserhead is harder to read.

He's sipping coffee out of his (inferior) cup looking tired and deactivating Tomura's quirk when Tomura does things like kick Bakugou, but he's yet to make a serious effort (or any effort) to stop the brat from chilling over here.

Tomura isn't sure why not.

He's also not sure why the brat isn't getting a 'well done', 'we're happy you're alive' or even 'this coffee isn't bad'.

The brat likes Eraserhead, and the brat-- even more annoyingly-- respects him. The brat also likes praise, it makes him happy. Tomura worked both those facts out in week 1 of knowing him, and Tomura was on 10% HP and half-delirious with fever for most of week 1. If Eraserhead has been paying any attention at all for the three months he's had Bakugou in his class, Eraserhead should know both of the above, too.

It wouldn't cost the hero more than two seconds and one breath to say well done, and it wouldn't be a lie because the brat has done well, so why is Eraserhead withholding praise?

Sensei wouldn't be withholding praise.

Sensei would have told Tomura 'well done' the moment Sensei came into the room.

(Sensei wouldn't have given him a hug, Sensei doesn't let Tomura touch him, but Sensei would have put his hand on Tomura's head, probably, and made Tomura feel special and safe and wanted. Sensei might still do that.)

Eraserhead isn't (-1).

He's calling Bakugou a problem child, like it's the brat's fault he got kidnapped (-1), and acting like the brat's giving him a headache instead of removing one by being healthy and alive (-1).

But the brat is acting like being called problem child is a compliment (+1), and he's acting like giving his sensei a headache is a job well done on his part (+1), and Eraserhead is here at 6 in the morning, which presumably means he left at 4, and that means he values the brat more than his sleep, even if he's clearly mourning giving it up (+1).

But Eraserhead (-1) let his side tie the brat to a pillar and muzzle him and humiliate him during the Sports Festival, maybe even participated, Tomura isn't sure how schools work but he assumes the homeroom teacher's opinion is asked if he's present, and Eraserhead was vocal enough about disagreeing with the crowds booing the brat for his brutal obliteration of the Uraraka brat, so presumably if he didn't say anything, he didn't have a problem with it. (The brat doesn't have a problem with it either, but that's just because the brat thinks being strung up and humiliated by people stronger than you are is normal, not because he doesn't think he was humiliated.)

And UA is, still, stronger than the brat.

So, the score stands at -1, and as the brat's (future) Senpai, it's Tomura's job to worry about whether or not the brat's going to be muzzled and tied up to a second pole if the brat doesn't do what UA wants him to do when they want him to do it.

Tomura glares at Eraserhead some more.

Eraserhead takes another sip of coffee, not really even bothering to engage in the staring match Tomura wants, just keeping his eyes on Tomura and managing to do it in a way that suggests Tomura is making him tired instead of terrified, and Tomura can already tell he's not going to be able to outglare the competition here. (He can't out-glare someone who won't even engage.)

Tomura injects some more poison into his glare anyway.

To the side, where he's lounging against the cupboard, his future lieutenant snorts.

"You ain't gonna outstare Sensei, loser, if that's what you're going for there. Fucker does this shit professionally."

"I could if I gouged out his eyes. Why is he even here? This is supposed to be a no PvP zone."

Bakugou shrugs, because of course he doesn't care. He's not the one losing his future lieutenant.

"He's a fuckin' badass, loser. Who knows how the fuck he knows anything?"

"He isn't 'badass', brat, he is annoying."

Bakugou rolls his eyes.

"You're only saying that cuz he's gonna make you go to prison, loser, and you were gonna go to prison anyway. Quit bitching about it and be happy we're gonna get a free lift to park your ass there instead've having to walk."

"It is prison, brat," Tomura says, peeved, because it's not like the brat knows Tomura's not going to be staying there, for all the brat knows it really could be years Tomura is going to be rotting there. "They are going to beat me, they are going to try to brainwash me into thinking there is nothing wrong with Society, and by the time I get out, League of Heroes and Legends Online probably won't even exist. I will be lucky if I get Solitaire in prison, and when I get out there will be new games out that I will be years behind everybody else's levels in, and that's assuming I can even afford them. It is a miserable fate, it is not something I'm happy about getting to do four days sooner than I thought I would."

"Four days my foot, asshole, nobody walks that slow. And nobody's gonna beat you, either, that shit's illegal unless you start it first and if they try, you can tell me when I visit and I'll murder 'em for you." Tomura is mollified. Slightly. "And they ain't gonna brainwash you, they're gonna undo the brainwashing you already got from your shitty Sensei."

"I'm not the one who thinks it's fine to string up children so other people can laugh and throw rocks at them, brat," Tomura reminds his future lieutenant, unimpressed.

"Yeah, yeah, you're just the one who thinks it's fine to go out and murder 'em."

Tomura kicks the brat.

Means to, anyway. Annoyingly, the brat sidesteps, and on the stool like this, Tomura can't follow.

The brat's not even in kicking range now, and the only things in range to throw at him are the rice cooker and Tomura's cup.

Tomura eyes off the rice cooker.

"Don't even think about it, loser. It's got shit insulation, you're gonna burn your shitty hands."

Annoying, that that flame of warmth is curling in Tomura's soul again.

Annoying, that the brat isn't going to be there to nag at him when he gets back to Sensei.

Nobody is going to tell him not to throw rice cookers when he gets back to Sensei because there aren't any and even if there were Sensei lets him do whatever he wants.

Tomura takes a peeved sip of coffee, and eyes his future lieutenant resentfully.

"Look on the bright side, loser. In 10 years when you're out, you'll be able to buy support items without your ass being ganked and you can get yourself a pair of proper gloves and a puppy."

Tomura throws the cup at his head.

The brat catches it.

(He also sends his no-longer-so-white sweater a sour look, because the other half of Tomura's coffee is now decorating his chest and the floor, but the point is, Tomura's cup isn't in pieces on said floor.)

"..." Tomura eyes the damage.

"..." the brat's eye ticks.

"Have you considered the option of suitably restraining your prisoner, problem child?" Eraserhead monotones from behind his coffee mug, unimpressed.

"Got a pair of Decay-proof quirk restraints you're hiding under your capture weapon, Sensei? Cuz I ain't got shit to deal with him, he's a slippery little shit and his quirk's OP as fuck."

Apparently Eraserhead does not, because he just takes another sip of coffee.

There's the scrape of a chair from the end of the table.

"Um. Are you two--" Midoriya gestures vaguely at his own chest, "That is, can I. Um. Get you guys a towel or something, or...?"

"You don't need to do shit, Deku, he's the one who threw it, his pampered ass knows where the towel cupboard is."

A vein in Eraserhead's face twitches.

"You are destroying my reputation, brat," Tomura complains.

"I ain't doing shit, you're destroying it just fine on your own, loser. Get a fuckin' towel."

"Um. I mean, his leg is kind of. Um..." Midoriya trails off, wilting under the weight of two sets of baleful glares. "Or you can make him get them. But I don't have any broken bones right now and you-- I mean, I'm not doing anything else except sitting here, so..."

"So next time, don't fuckin' tag along with Sensei when Sensei's got shit covered just fine on his own, yeah? Nobody made you come."

Midoriya sighs and mumbles something that sounds like but I was worried about you that is loftily ignored.

There end up being hand towels in the pantry. The brat finds them when he's looking for some kind of powder and vinegar, and whatever he's doing seems to be doing an OK job of removing the coffee stains. (It would probably be easier without the sweater on, but without it it's going to be harder for the brat to hide the injuries he is concealing underneath there, so Tomura's not shocked that the brat's choosing to make life harder for himself this way.)

Tomura lets him clean up Tomura's mess for him (it's not like Tomura knows how to get rid of coffee or coffee stains, Tomura could disintegrate the sweater to remove the evidence but that's about it) and goes back to assessing the problem at hand: Namely Eraserhead, and Eraserhead's status as a Suitable Adult.

The hero is, unfortunately, a bit cool.

Tomura’s been aware of that since USJ.

You’re a bit cool if you throw yourself into a battle against 33 people with unknown levels and quirks when you’re not even a glass canon, you're just a debuffer/disabler support unit with pitiful DPS because you aren’t just All Might showing off how great you are when you do that, there’s a chance you’ll lose and you know that and you’re still doing it anyway.

You’re threateningly cool when you have a broken arm in 5 places, you’re on near death, your skull is being held by a nomu who can crush it like an egg and you still lift your head up anyway to stop Tomura from killing your students, even though doing that will let the nomu and Tomura know you’re awake and they’ll finish you.

So, yes. It's annoying, Tomura hates it, but he can see why the brat likes his Sensei.

The man qualifies as a Suitable Adult who knows what to do when there's any sort of physical danger.

The brat's not going to be endangered by incompetence if the brat leaves his party and goes back to Eraserhead's.

But on the other hand, Eraserhead still isn't saying 'well done' and he asked the brat to be honest about his injuries. Eraserhead’s known the brat three times as long as Tomura has, so he should know what the brat’s like. Tomura doubts it's a new thing.

So: Eraserhead’s cool, but-- Tomura eyes him icily-- he’s stingy with his praise.

He's cool, but Eraserhead won't call you on it when you aren't looking after yourself properly.

(Or will he?

Tomura needs to be fair here, annoying though it is to be fair to heroes. UA does have a healer, Tomura needs to remember that. It's true 2 more hours isn't going to make a difference to any of the brat's injuries, so it's possible that Eraserhead is giving the brat his pride because he, too, knows the brat sees you as the enemy if you fuss over him.

It's conceivable, too, that 'well done' and 'everyone gets ganked, don't worry about it, brat' are reserved for privacy, not for when you are two or three feet away from evil villains and making coffee for them. Just because Tomura's not seeing it doesn't necessarily mean it never happens or won't happen. It's possible that him being here measuring it is affecting the data here.)

The jury is out for now on this.

Eraserhead isn't disqualified for now, but Tomura isn't satisfied, either; can feel the smoldering anger from this morning curling inside again.

The brat isn't a problem, and he isn't a headache.

He's fine.

But if this is the level of care he gets after being missing for nearly a month, it's not really surprising the brat acts like he’s a machine.

That’s all he’s treated as, it's all he’s respected for being, and it's all he's expected to be.

If UA wants machines, though, UA should build them and let Tomura keep Bakugou.

Tomura’s sure they have the budget for it.

Tomura ups the 'resentment' in his glare to 11/10 and does his best to burn a hole through Eraserhead's indifferent head.

Chapter Text

You aren’t real.

Katsuki feels a bit sick, a bit dizzy, a bit--

You aren’t real.

That’s not how they put it, they put it better than that after they disturb him from the morning study he doesn’t admit he does (he’s a natural-born genius, he doesn’t need to study) and whisk him off to the Gummy-crone’s office for a fuckton of tests-- talking in low voices, examining charts, looking at Katsuki’s blood while Katsuki kind of sits there letting them, not really sure why the fuck this shit needs to be done at 6:26 a.m., not really sure why it’s happening at all--

You aren’t real.

It’s what it boils down to, after, when Principle Nedzu calls him to his office, looks at him like he’s about to tell Katsuki his parents have died or something or that he’s got some terminal disease Science can’t cure, and pours him a cup of tea why the fuck does he think Katsuki wants his stupid tea, Katsuki doesn’t drink caffeine shit--

You aren’t real.

Katsuki’s not real, the rat says, and again the rat puts it better, the rat spends 15 minutes putting it gently, the rat’s hiding an inner supervillain because the rat’s clearly an A+ monologuer but Katsuki can summarize, OK, Katsuki can summarize A+ as well, cuz he doesn’t exist, he’s a walking pile of mud, none of his memories are real, he’s a fake, and there’s a real Bakugou Katsuki somewhere else, and it’s bullshit, it’s total bullshit, it’s a sick joke and Katsuki doesn’t want to believe them.

He’s real, right?

He can remember shit, maybe not the 6 days of whatever the LOV did to him, fuckin’ creeps, but he can remember the rest of his life. It’s annoying no one’ll fight him, it sucks he had to be rescued, food tastes nice when he eats it, his leg hurt like a bitch yesterday when that rock fell on it, and he wipes the floor with any loser who challenges him in the Uno tournaments, Katsuki’s keeping score.

You don’t feel things if you’re not real, right?

Mud wouldn’t wanna beat up Deku for looking at him like he needs to look after himself better than he is. (He’s doing fucking fine, and even if he can’t sleep some nights, even if some days he feels angry for no reason and everything everyone does annoys him when they’re not being any different to what they always do, what the fuck does that have to do with Deku?)

If he was mud, then Shitty-hair leaning on his shoulder wouldn’t make him feel like gloating cuz Shitty-hair’s picked his shoulder to lean on and Shitty-hair’s a tough bastard and a ray of fucking sunshine who’s nearly as awesome as Katsuki is and could be leaning on anyone.

That doesn’t happen if you’re not real, right?

If he wasn’t real, he’d know it.

Right?

He’d know it, so he’s real.

But the rat keeps talking about test results, the rat keeps looking at him like Katsuki’s something small and pathetic the rat feels sorry for, like the rat’s not sure how he’ll take it, isn’t sure what to do--

Katsuki wants Sensei to tell the rat he’s being fucking dumb like Sensei did to the crowds at the Sports Festival.

But Sensei’s not here.

Deku’s not here either.

Because you aren’t real.

Katsuki kinda wants to beat the rat up, wants to make him stop looking at him like that, cuz the rat’s wrong, Katsuki’s not mud, he bleeds.

The shitty test results are staring at him though.

Katsuki’s quirk’s as strong as ever.

HP-wise, Katsuki’s basically got AIDS, because his regeneration’s a mess and he’s basically being level-drained every time he takes damage. He’s still at 100% HP, sure, but he’s not 500/500, he’s 50/50, he’s fucking pathetic, and the rat’s saying that’s gonna go to 40/40, 20/20, 1/1 and one day Katsuki’ll basically get a slit cut opening a letter and he’ll die. (Fuck, even taking the shitty test probably shaved off 1 HP.)

You aren’t real.

(And he’s a pile of mud, he’s just a human-shaped pile of walking clay, apparently, so that doesn’t matter, and why does this feel so much like shit?)

(It doesn’t feel real.)

(It feels like it’s happening to someone who isn’t him.)

What the fuck’s going to happen to him?

Does he still get to go to UA?

(Course he doesn’t, 1/1 can’t be a hero, you can’t hero with 1 HP, Katsuki's just a weak loser who’s gonna keep getting weaker and weaker day by day, and just fall further and further behind everyone else running on ahead without him, he's a waste of space in the course, and he technically never passed the entrance exam so he doesn't deserve to be here anyway.)

(None of this feels real.)

He kind of wants to be alone right now, but Present Mic’s calls him to his office after, and Present Mic grades papers and keeps up an annoying stream of chatter and Katsuki kind of sits there, tuning most of it out, staring at his hands (that aren’t real; they’re just a puddle of mud, but if he squeezes the hole where the needle went in for his blood test he still bleeds--)

He’s the same person as yesterday, right?

He’s the same person who saved the shitty civilian.

Sensei sent him the proud look yesterday.

It was Katsuki who got the power on, he’s not some shitty nothing.

(But there’s a real him and he’s the fake, he’s a puddle of mud he’s not any more real than the All Might bobbleheads that live on Deku's desk or the All Might 1/6th scale action figure that lives at the bottom of Katsuki's chest of drawers that he doesn’t admit he owns--)

He escapes under the pretext of going to the bathroom.

Locks himself in the stall for a bit.

Maybe breaks the mirror after, who gives a shit?

He’s not real, so why does it matter if his knuckles are bleeding?

He’s mud, so it’s not like he can feel pain either, right?

His reflection, distorted shattered, looks--

Like something he doesn’t want to think about, so Katsuki blows it up, cuz fuck it for looking at him like that, nobody gets to look at Katsuki that way.

(UA are rich fuckers. They can afford the property damage.)

Katsuki’s still picking glass off the floor ten minutes later when the bathroom door opens.

It’s Shitty-hair, and Shitty-hair looks like anything but a ray of sunshine at the moment, which means Shitty-hair knows.

(That Katsuki’s a walking pile of mud.)

(Everyone probably knows. Real Katsuki is coming back. Real Katsuki apparently has not only survived being swept up in an earthquake, he’s also single-handedly captured the head of the LOV, the fuckin’ hand-covered creep, who Katsuki mainly remembers loafing around in his stupid black PJs, and who used to watch Katsuki with clinical, dead-fish eyes like Katsuki wasn’t human.)

(Maybe he knew Katsuki wasn’t.)

Katsuki doesn’t have a fucking clue what to say.

“Use your quirk or use a different bathroom, Shitty-hair,” is what Katsuki decides to go with, cuz there’s still glass in the sink and on the floor, and then, cuz it sucks to watch Shitty-hair right now, Katsuki turns his back on him and gets back to work cleaning out the sink.

(His hands aren’t as steady as he wants them to be, but it doesn’t matter, because he’s just mud.)

“Bakugou…” Shitty-hair starts.

Katsuki ignores him.

Honestly speaking, if he’s mud, does he even have a name anymore?

Fuck if Katsuki knows.

Not like he’s had life experience being a pile of mud before, is it?

Katsuki should write a manual.

There’s a crunch of glass as Shitty-hair steps through it, and then an explosion of warmth on his shoulder because of course Shitty-hair’s sticking his dumb, warm hand there, why the fuck wouldn’t he, Deku hugs his All Might toys when life gets hard, Katsuki’s basically a walking Katsuki plushie right now, if Shitty-hair wants to--

(But just because he’s not real, why the fuck does he not gotta get lent on by Shitty-hair? Katsuki’s basically got cancer, he’s dying, he’s going to be expelled, his dreams are going up in smoke and he’s going to become even more of a loser than Deku, apparently, so what if he lets Shitty-hair lean on his shoulder and so what if he feels a bit less like his hands are shaking? Shitty-hair wouldn’t do it if he didn’t want to, and if Katsuki’s All Might toys had feelings, Katsuki’s sure his All Might toys would like being hugged by Katsuki when Katsuki was 5 and did things like hug toys, too--)

“You’re still my friend, dude.”

"..." Katsuki side-eyes Shitty-hair, cuz even dumbness should have limits.

“I’m a pile of mud, Shitty-hair.”

Shitty-hair’s eyes are serious and uncompromising.

“You’re a manly pile of mud, dude. You're the same person you were yesterday and yesterday you saved Mr. Random Citizen.”

(Katsuki was a pile of mud yesterday.)

Dumbness does not have limits.

Shitty-hair is hugging him.

Katsuki ain't got a hug since he was six and told the old hag he was basically a grown-up now and too old for 'em, it is fucking weird Katsuki's pretty sure you're not meant to freeze and kind of stand awkwardly like a metal pole when other people give them to you but at the same time Katsuki is probably going to die, he's never going to get an origin story book written about him because he doesn't exist, so does he really need to deny himself hugs if Shitty-hair's handing them out?

(Katsuki was born 16 days ago, and technically his dad is Twice.)

"You're fucking dumb," Katsuki tells Shitty-hair gruffly. Someone should.

"You're dumber, Bakubro. You're you, and even if there's two of you, I'm going to be friends with both of you, and I'm not going anywhere."

Huh, Katsuki thinks, still pinned in the weird, awkward hug thing. Wow, what a clusterfuck.

Well, he guesses it worked for Toy Story. There's no reason why Andy and Buzz Lightyear can't be friends if Shitty-hair wants to be.

Maybe just because Katsuki has a terminal condition and technically doesn't exist doesn't mean he needs to give up yet. He just needs to rethink his career, maybe, since unlike shitty-hair, the old hag probably isn't going to fork out shit for a pile of mud, and so Katsuki isn't going to be able to afford UA's school fees, and even if she would, Katsuki isn't going to waste a spot in the Hero course that someone with an actual future in Heroics could be using instead, Katsuki's got standards. But it's not like there aren't other careers, shitty 10 HP extras go through life without taking damage all the time. Katsuki can make sure he doesn't get any slit-cuts opening letters, Katsuki can do this, he's A+ at everything.

Shitty-hair better not be thinking of hugging Real Katsuki like this though.

Even if Katsuki's a pile of mud, he's not a pile of mud who shares.

Chapter Text

Int. Shitty extra 3's house - 8:26 AM - 24 days post The Kamino Disaster

UA sends Midnight to take Hands's ass to the station (and some random pro with a gas mask and a cape who Katsuki feels like he's seen before and should probably know) because they can think shit through when they want to and it doesn't take Deku to work out Midnight's quirk's ideal for dealing with anyone who needs to be tranquilized, hasn't got a ranged attack to end her with, and needs to breathe.

Hands doesn't have a gas mask; neither does Katsuki.

Katsuki can't say he's pleased to see her when she walks in, but he gets why they picked her. Midnight's nice enough to let 'em know what's coming so they can put their cups down before she tears her sleeve open and gasses the place, she ain't a total bitch.

She's probably tells them more so Katsuki can get clear if he wants to than so Hands can put his shitty cup down, but Katsuki stays where he is. Mainly cuz Hands is looking antsy, like he doesn't trust what they'll do to him when he's out of it, and Katsuki's shitty instincts don't want him to move. Solidarity and all that. RIP the party. Katsuki blacks out and wakes under a cozy blanket on shitty extra 3's couch ~1 hour later, feeling cranky and like shit, and weirdly deprived, like he didn't get to say goodbye or something even though Hands is his prisoner and Katsuki is not a compromised loser and Katsuki doesn't say 'goodbye' to shit.

"He's, um. Not here," Deku says, when Katsuki double checks that Hands actually is, y'know, gone.

Because of course Deku is watching him.

And of course Deku saw him look.

And of course Deku knows who he was looking for.

Deku needs to get the fuck outta Katsuki's brain, cuz Katsuki sure as fuck didn't invite him in there.

"I wasn't looking for shit, Deku," Katsuki lies anyway, and gets the fuck up, cuz fuck introspection, and fuck Deku. Fuck Sensei, too, a bit, cuz he's still here, and Katsuki was kinda hoping to have a clear shot at beating that shitty, worried, pitying look off Deku's stupid too-nice face.

'S probably why Sensei stayed.

Fuckin' asshole.

Katsuki makes a mental note to check later what Hands' loser ass was worth, cuz while he'll part with his commission for Sensei, Midnight's still on his shitlist and she's not keeping a single yen of it.

(Icyhot still hasn't re-emerged. Either he and shitty extra 3 just really like chatting to each other, or Icyhot's going out of his way to avoid Katsuki. Fucking two-toned bastard. Katsuki ain't sorry Icyhot's not out here poor-you-ing him like Deku is, but if avoiding Katsuki is his version of poor-you, Icyhot's dead anyway, avoidance ain't gonna save his blank-faced condescending ass.)

Sensei takes Katsuki to the station after to debrief.

Not the same station as Hands is in; protocol and all that shit.

(Not that Katsuki wants to go to the same station. Katsuki doesn't give a shit which station he goes to.)

Deku doesn't get to come with them, so, hah, take that, Deku.

The police meet them at the door, Sensei hands him over, and Katsuki's led off to a cozy little office with white walls, a white ceiling, and a shitty little window that's grimy with dust cuz nobody cleans shit in here and a couple of police who smile at him in a way that says they are Nice People Who Feel Sorry For Katsuki (fucking assholes) and they get him a water and tell him who they are (Katsuki files their names under 'trash') and ask him how he is, that they're happy he's OK, that they're sorry he had to go through such an awful experience at such a young age, and they sit the shitty cup next to him, probably cuz there's some kind of psychology they're trying to assess in how Katsuki treats the shitty cup.

Katsuki assumes the test is, is he a paranoid fuck like Hands is or will he drink it.

Katsuki is not a paranoid fuck, so Katsuki drinks it.

Police extra 1 jots notes down in his file; police extra 2 keeps up with the condescending bullshit.

Katsuki assumes he passed whatever test it was.

He's not sure if he passes the rest.

They ask him to tell them what went down there.

They don't act like they believe him when Katsuki tells them Hands was all right; that he helped out with the whole sewer thing and wasn't a danger to Katsuki and didn't try to nuke Katsuki or whatever cuz Katsuki kept his loser ass in line and would have ended him if he'd tried that shit for real and not just cuz he'd lost his shitty temper again, and that Hands mainly just bitched a lot about how Life and people like the police suck for not doing their fucking jobs. (Explosions fucking travel, Katsuki knows how this shit works. Even if they're underground, they travel. There has to have been at least one noise complaint from one whiny, shitty extra in the 20-ish days Katsuki was blowing shit up in that sewer that nobody could be assed to look into.)

The police don't look too impressed by this logic.

They also, apparently, think Katsuki's a weak loser who's as spineless as the slimes he nuked cuz the police go on to give him nice looks and tell him it's safe to be honest, he doesn't need to be scared, they've got things, he's safe now, and he won't be targeted if he tells the truth about what Hands really did to him, cuz they got his back.

(They're fucking police, in every way but legally they're at the very bottom of the food chain, having them at his back don't mean squat. They couldn't do shit even against one sludge monster and they had a fuckin' hour. If Katsuki's feeling threatened (and he's not) the police sure as fuck ain't who he'd go to.)

They're not impressed with this logic, either.

Annoyingly, the police say Hands' word ain't the most reliable source when Katsuki tells them they should probably look into extenuating circumstances or whatever when they're charging him, because in Katsuki's opinion, being brainwashed from 5+ by an evil supervillain who saved your life is/should be an extenuating circumstance for becoming one yourself.

'Does Katsuki realise villains lie' Katsuki's foot. Fuck them for thinking Katsuki's Sense Motive is lower than Hands' Bluff.

They also remind Katsuki that the loser sic'd his nomu on a ward.

(Yup, Katsuki knows the loser's a serial killer. The fuck do they think Katsuki handed his loser ass over to the police for, his shitty tax evasion? They can stop looking at him like Hands broke him and they need to fix him cuz Hands was fucking fine, the loser didn't even try.)

Katsuki's-- okay, a little bit overreacting here.

Sue him.

He's tired, he feels like shit, and it's his shitty instincts that are fucked right now, not the rest of him, Katsuki's not missing the loser, Katsuki's a fucking hardass, he's a fucking professional, he is, it's only his shitty instincts that are fucked, no matter how these losers are looking at him.

But at the same time, sure, Katsuki's shitty instincts aren't doing what he's telling them to right now, but it's the police who are the ones being unreasonable here.

They're the ones who keep calling Hands 'Shigaraki' with that disgusted twist in their voices whenever they do like the loser's somehow sub-human. Being a 3 on the decent human being scale doesn't make you sub-human, that's only one point lower than Katsuki is on a bad day and Katsuki's still human, anyone who says he's not can eat shit and die. How nice you are has zero to do with how human you are. Katsuki ain't talking extenuating circumstances because he's compromised or because he's traumatized, Katsuki's mentioning it cuz the police haven't yet and Katsuki doesn't have a clue why the fuck not because nobody's telling him, and it doesn't hurt to point it out when he knows Hands' loser ass is broke, because statistically speaking, broke losers don't have access to lawyers.

Yes, it sucks that those extras died/lost their homes/landed in hospital because Hands threw a tantrum, Katsuki never said it didn't, but-- and Katsuki thinks it's fair to be blunt here, cuz it's these shitty cops who are being fucking dumb about this, not Katsuki-- they ain't gonna be more maimed/homeless/dead if Hands gets a fair trial and someone looks into why he's upset about shit, are they?

Katsuki got a nomu sent at him too by Hands. (Trigger-happy bastard.)

Katsuki was the one who got fucking kidnapped, not these two shitty officers feeling sorry for him.

Katsuki ain't been maimed or killed, true, but neither have the two police being condescending bitches about this in front of him. If Katsuki can get over it, why the fuck can't they?

Fucking extras.

They scribble something down on his file.

(Probably 'fucking compromised, maybe evil' but Katsuki's fuckin' neither he's just annoyed and shit's not coming out right when he tries to put things into words.)

They ask Katsuki a lot of weird questions after that that basically boil down to, did Katsuki get fuckin' Stockholm'd down there and is he a closet villain who's taken the LOV's dumb, loser oath to join their fraternity of failure, cuz Hands wherever he's been doing his report-- the fucking bitch-- has apparently been telling them Katsuki is his future minion, and Katsuki ain't helping his case with the above.

(Nope, Katsuki's fuckin' fine, thanks, he ain't a fucking villain, villains are losers, Katsuki's a winner, he doesn't come out anywhere but on top, and if the police think he didn't, the police can take their questioning and eat shit and die.)

They get to the end eventually. They don't tell him well done-- Katsuki has a feeling he blew that sometime during the whole 'who gives a shit shitty extras died' topic.

They do tell him again they're sorry he had to go through what he did, and that he's lucky he has the quirk he does and he's lucky to be alive, very few others would be in his shoes, and they ask him if he needs any of his injuries checked, but the police can take their first-aid kits and choke on them, cuz Katsuki doesn't like them and so they don't get to give him shit. Anyway, Katsuki's had most of these injuries 10-to-25 days and lived, he's 40% sure his leg's gonna need to be re-broken and re-set, so unless they've got a kissing hag of their own on-call he'll just get everything treated with one kiss when he gets back to UA cuz he's fucking rational and not a time-waster like they are, so the sooner they're done with him, the happier he'll be, yeah? He imagines it goes both ways.

Police extra 1 mumbles something that sounds like, "Fuck they train heroes too fucking young."

Police extra 1's fucking lucky it's a criminal offense to blow up his desk.

Katsuki ain't too fucking young he's basically an adult, and he fucking aced this shit.

He aced it and he's fine, and if they think he didn't and think he's not, they can eat shit and die.

Neither of the losers would've done one tenth as well on any of it as Katsuki did.

They don't let him leave yet. Protocol apparently dictates that when you've been kidnapped 25 days and have been blowing shit up without a license in a sewer, possibly murdering humanoids (jury's still out on that), and blowing up bodies so you can carry 'em easier, there are like 20 80-page reports that need to be filled out because the police are basically glorified data entry units who have nothing better to do with their time than paperwork so of fucking course they love it.

Katsuki doesn't. 1600 pages fucking sucks, Katsuki has got a Provisional License to ace and only 2 days to train for it, he ain't got time to have his day swallowed up by this shit.

That ain't how they see it, though.

It sucks, but it's a federal offense to not do what the police tell you to when they tell you to do it, and Katsuki (unfortunately) needs his record spotless. Least they don't make him stand for it. They clear a desk, steal a chair from some poor fucker, and leave him to it and a lot of the pages turn out to be mostly white with some y/n boxes to tick off at the bottom, so it's shitty but it's not as shit as it could be. The day's salvageable. Katsuki will probably have some time left to train.

There's a water dispenser in walking distance with a sign on it that says 'PLEASE TAKE IF THIRSTY :)' so Katsuki gets himself a cup and sips it as he goes. Keeps half an eye on the room. It's an OK spot, there's windows around, Katsuki could get out if he needed to. Could be worse.

Katsuki's kinda been assuming he's already been left and that he'll get picked up later by someone-- maybe Sensei, maybe the old hag, he hasn't decided-- when this shit's finally done, cuz there's no rational reason for Sensei to hang around. Not like Sensei was let in for the debriefing. Not like Katsuki doesn't know how to fill out his incident reports, UA covered this shit two months ago, but Sensei apparently thinks different, cuz for some reason, Sensei hasn't left. Katsuki works that out around 1:30-ish when most of the police who aren't busy with shitty extras are having lunch, when Sensei materialises out of the metaphorical aether to plonk a couple of sushi rolls down at Katsuki's elbow.

(He's also eating one himself.)

Katsuki kinda eyes the rolls for a bit and then eyes Sense, cuz, OK, Katsuki's a bit hungry, Deku did ruin breakfast, Katsuki kinda never got around to eating after and he ain't got a wallet on him right now to buy shit, but Sensei doesn't buy food, Sensei's a fucking hardass, this is fucking weird.

"...How much do I owe you?" Katsuki checks.

A vein in Sensei's face kinda ticks, and he looks kinda something, but it's not really a Done look or an Unimpressed look, Katsuki ain't got a fucking clue how to read it. Whatever it is, it's turning into a Done look that's getting Done-r the longer Katsuki doesn't make any move to touch those rolls, so Katsuki keeps on not taking them cuz he feels slightly better being on familiar ground.

"Your school fees cover the cost of your meals," Sensei tells him, eventually.

Katsuki raises an eyebrow.

"That mean I'm getting a refund for August?"

Sensei looks like a man who hasn't had enough sleep for this shit.

Makes two of them.

Katsuki gets back to his paperwork, ignoring the rolls for now.

Sensei doesn't push it. He's the inverse of fucking pushing it, Sensei fucking goes to sleep underneath the waiting bench like the hobo wannabe he is, while Katsuki's still working out if his rep's gonna take a hit if he eats the shitty things or not, and Katsuki's left with shitty paperwork and a couple of B-grade sushi rolls that Katsuki could probably top cooking in his sleep but that look like they just might have chilis in them along with the fish, and Katsuki's got zero audience to watch what he does or be mad at.

Fuckin' bastard.

Katsuki's sure Sensei's doing it on purpose.

Katsuki glares at his back for a bit, but Sensei's out to the world.

Katsuki investigates the rolls a bit more.

Maybe bites into one of them.

(They're the first meal he hasn't had to cook since training camp day 1, and the first spicy thing he's had in 26 days.)

Katsuki's chest decides to feel something the rest of Katsuki doesn't want to analyze.

Katsuki eats the stupid things since UA apparently owes him them and gets the fuck back on with his paperwork.

It's going OK. He's 9 reports up by 4 p.m. and it's looking like he'll maybe be finished by 8 p.m. when the Universe decides to shit on him in the form of a greasy-looking asshole in a suit who rolls in around 4:30 p.m. and says he's from the HPSC and needs to ask questions, and Katsuki's stuck sitting through a second round of questioning cuz the HPSC extra is to lazy to read through the reports Katsuki's already filling out that already cover all of the shit he's asking.

Katsuki doesn't get a well done from the HPSC extra, either, but that could just be because the HPSC are smarter than the police, and maybe their Sense Motive is high enough to tell he's editing some things out of his report when he tells him shit.

Not important shit, not LOV-shut-down level shit, Katsuki's a fucking pro, he wouldn't keep back shit that'll help the police/HPSC save lives here, just shit that's none of their fucking business.

Like the fact that Hands has shitty allergies to mown grass. (He's not gonna have to deal with anyone mowing grass in Tartarus; Katsuki doesn't see the need to be a fucking snitch. Hands can tell 'em himself if the loser wants them to know).

Like the loser's Legends Online account. (The fucker likes his stupid characters, he's collected every event achievement the game's handed out since the shitty game's release. He doesn't use it to do anything useful, the fucker spends 10% of the time just worrying about his characters' shitty outfits and another 20% on how the furniture's arranged in their houses (does it really matter what the fuck angle the cheese is sitting on the plate of your character's house? Katsuki's characters get chests to dump their loot in and that's it, Katsuki's characters ain't pampered little shits.) That 1 hour of Katsuki's life the loser wasted showing him those shitty characters and their sub-optimal stat-sheets is about the only thing Katsuki's seen him do that the loser's actually found fun and Katsuki sees zero reasons to think the LOV's gonna kill less shitty extras or be shut down any sooner if the HPSC finds out about his shitty gaming account.)

Katsuki also withholds the fact that Hands' shitty Sensei can, maybe, hand out quirks. (Possibly relevant, but Katsuki needs to corner Deku sometime Sensei ain't around and check if/where Deku got his quirk before he reports that shit; Deku's Deku, sure, but there are unspoken rules that say Deku does not snitch on Katsuki beating him up to Auntie Inko and there are rules that say if Deku got his quirk by trading his soul for it on the black market Katsuki doesn't tell the HPSC or UA about that shit, either. It's too bad if that shit's relevant, they and the police were the ones who said first Katsuki can't just take Hands' word for shit, it's on them if they don't get to hear gossip like this because of that.)

So, yeah. The lack of HPSC well done's is fair, Katsuki can agree he ain't exactly scoring 100% on this whole thing.

Glaring at the HPSC extra the whole time probably doesn't help either.

(But the info he's asking for is literally in the reports, the guy could be reading it while Katsuki fills out new shit, it would be faster for both of them, he doesn't have the (bad) excuse of not realizing it cuz Katsuki's literally pointed it out, and instead this asshole is wasting 3 fucking hours of Katsuki's life and his own life just because he's fucking incompetent.)

Katsuki is not gonna get any training done today, and Katsuki's only got one shitty day and one shitty morning left.

The only plus side to the visit is that the HPSC extra says the commission on Hands' head is 5,000,000 yen, cuz apparently the loser was not fuckin' kidding that he's famous and considered a Menace to Society. So, apparently, Katsuki's gonna be rich. Maybe the old hag and the old man get some of it, Katsuki's kinda owes them and the company credit card a couple of TVs and couches, maybe a wall or two, for the shit he blows when he and the old hag get into it, but the rest of that money ain't earmarked for shit except whatever the fuck Katsuki feels like spending it on.

Midnight ain't getting shit.

(Katsuki'll think about Shitty extra 3's wall.)

(Katsuki'll also probably split it with Hands so that he can get himself a proper lawyer. He didn't do half the work, but he probably did a solid 25%, and that should at least be enough to get him something.)

The HPSC extra adds that Katsuki needs to remember here that Midnight gets the official credit, Katsuki's not allowed to brag about this shit, cuz Katsuki called it dead right earlier today that UA, the HPSC and the police are indeed going to form a trinity of symbiotic rep protection and unite to keep it a secret from the general public that their rescue efforts sucked.

The truth's going to be limited to the police, UA staff, and Class 1-A, and they only get to know cuz 1) Two of Class 1-A already know and both of those two are oversharers with Connections who are shit at keeping secrets from the rest of Class 1-A and 2) There's a shitty double running around that's nothing like Katsuki and so they were gonna know something was up anyway when the swap happened cuz Katsuki sure as fuck ain't gonna pretend to be it or play Uno.

(Katsuki does also get a soft threat-- one shit human being to another-- that they're not going to overlook his technically-illegal quirk usage in the sewers which can definitely be stretched to murder/property destruction if he doesn't cooperate here and smears their rep, but like Katsuki tells 'em-- also one shit human being to another-- he can see what and why they're doing this, but they're being fucking dumb threatening him like this, because 1) It wasn't illegal, Sensei's right out there and can tell the HPSC extra that if he gives enough of a shit about this to wake Sensei up and ask him, and 2) Shiketsu's stupid hats are all that's waiting for him if he runs his mouth and blabs about shit, so he wasn't gonna do it anyway. The only thing the HPSC gets by threatening him like this is making him mad about the fact that they kinda suck, because he has an ongoing argument with Hands that relies on the government Katsuki's gonna be working for one day not actually being shit.)

The HPSC extra stops threatening him after that.

He looks like he's also acknowledged their shared sub-6 status on the human being scale, cuz he sends Katsuki an approving look and says it's nice to meet a kid who understands how life works, and he hopes Katsuki does win that argument, HPSC extra's rooting for him, he seems like a bright kid and he looks forward to working with Katsuki in a (hopefully less shitty) capacity in future.

Katsuki doesn't like him, but he likes him better than the police.

At least the HPSC guy takes him seriously.

It was 10:13 a.m. when they arrived at the police station, and it's 11 p.m. by the time he's finally done, but eventually page 1600 is done and Katsuki gets to call it quits and go.

(He's tired.)

(He's so fucking tired and his day's gone, he accomplished zero today, the only training he got to do was kick shitty Deku in the back, and his brain's being shitty and keyed up and weird and it wants to check Hands got some proper medical treatment and that the loser didn't get any beatings cuz Katsuki kinda promised him the police didn't suck just like Katsuki kinda promised him he'd visit him and he doesn't even know where the loser is, and his brain wants its stupid, shitty monologue and it ain't gonna fucking get it.)

UA's 1.5 hours away; UA sends a car to pick them up with a badass chauffer who says literally nothing, ever, and Sensei buys them both takeout to eat because Sensei's a rational fuck and Sensei and Katsuki both need fuel to deal with the shitty mess that's gonna be waiting for them at UA.

Katsuki feels a little bit better seeing Sensei's using the UA company credit card to pay for it; maybe side-eyes Sensei and tries adding a few abalone-based extras to his side of the order to see if he can get away with it, not cuz he likes it (abalone's meh on its own and it ain't much different than any other meat when it's buried under a layer of chilis) but what it is is expensive, just like the premium tuna Katsuki's also adding, cuz UA fuckin' owes him for feeding his food to his fucking double these past 15 days if UA ain't gonna give him a refund.

Sensei sends him a Look but Sensei lets him.

(The weird shitty feeling in his chest doesn't go, but it gets a bit better.)

It's an average meal; Katsuki stares out of the window on the ride back to UA once he's finished eating it.

Gummy-crone's gonna be the first stop, Sensei says, then Sensei will give him a tour of the dorms he'll be living in, and then Sensei's gonna throw him to the wolves, metaphorically speaking (any wolves who are still up at 1-to-2 a.m., so basically, definitely Deku and maybe anyone else who wants to join in in poor-you-ing him or is actually happy to see him) and Katsuki'll be on his own.

Plus Ultra, yeah?

Plus Ultra.

Katsuki has got this.

He's fucking got this.

Katsuki will Plus Ultra UA's socks off.

(It's still too quiet and he still can't fucking sleep.)

(Katsuki's shitty instincts hope that wherever they've put him, Hands is getting more rest right now than Katsuki is.)

Chapter Text

Int. Dabi's Apartment - Saturday - 2:00 p.m.

There are good days, there are bad days, and then there are days when the Universe just decides to go 'Fuck Dabi' for no reason at all other than that it hates him. (Karma's a bitch who doesn't pay enough attention to the people she should or enough appreciation to Dabi for doing her job for her, and today is shaping up to be just one of those days the bitch has remembered he exists.)

Dabi wakes at 2 p.m. to a blinking phone (Dabi sets it to silent, fuck emergencies, Himiko includes him in way too many group chats to give a shit about that) to 174 missed messages (103 of them from Clone Shigaraki). So obviously some shitshow's gone down. Obviously Dabi doesn't check them yet, phones are bitches, Dabi needs plausible deniability when he reports that he didn't do anything about whatever disaster this is because he didn't know about it, Dabi thinks ahead. Dabi hasn't even had his coffee yet.

You could say, if you absolutely had to point fingers here, that it's Dabi's fault, therefore, when he's caught flat-footed in his house slippers sipping coffee by an irate Hawks who breaks down Dabi's door.

Feathery asshole.

Dabi had a hard time getting any apartment at all with his zero paycheck and forged ID.

Dabi traded murder of some lowlifes for some actual pay to get this apartment.

Dabi worked for this.

Hawks had better know how to fix that; Dabi doesn't, and his landlady is a bitch about broken doors.

She's also a bitch about corpses on the loungeroom floor, so Dabi supposes he might as well inquire into what's caused all this and see what he can do to keep shit from escalating.

"What's got ya feathers in a twist there, birdy?"

"Guess."

"...Ya found out about the betting pool we got going on whether ya got talons or feet under those boots of yours?" Dabi takes a lazy stab.

"..."

"I got 500 yen riding on talons. You're gonna empty my savings if you tell me they're fuckin' feet, so you better be hiding talons."

"Shigaraki has been arrested, Hot-stuff."

Now, Dabi is not dumb. The latest ping from Clone Shigaraki is 5 minutes ago, so if Hawks is right, it was pretty recent and Hawks should be off popping himself a congratulatory beer. There's no need to pretend to be all upset about it and go breaking down Dabi's door. But Dabi guesses Hawks is pretending to be a spy still and all that, and Dabi supposes he is meant to be pretending he doesn't see straight through the pro hero.

"We'll get his ass out, birdy, calm down," Dabi dredges up.

"Did you know?"

"You told me 10 seconds ago, birdy, of course I know."

Hawks sighs like Dabi is physically paining him, and pulls out his phone and flaps over to Dabi so Dabi can see the screen. (Everything 500g and under within 15 feet goes flying. Dabi really needs to introduce a house rule about flapping indoors.)

10 minutes is enough to bring Dabi up to speed with the current disaster at hand.

(Not just what is in the news, but also what isn't, since the HPSC aren't exactly broadcasting they got the wrong kid there.)

It's also enough time to finish that coffee.

"I've just got one question for you, Hot-stuff," Hawks says at the end, while Dabi's downing the last few bitter dregs. "Did you know you were handing over a clone to me and leaving a real kid to die when you did it?"

Wow.

Talk about ripping off the band-aid, hmm?

"I mean," Dabi admits, making sure he's leaning just so on the flighty bird, because if Hawks tries to stab him over this Dabi absolutely is up for some charcoal chicken, "in my defence, we thought they were both dead. I'd've mentioned something to you if I'd known we'd left an alive kid to die, instead of just leaving a dead kid to rot."

Maybe. Probably.

Look, the kid isn't all that high on Dabi's priority list.

Dabi looked about as much for him and his boss as any of the heroes ever looked for Dabi, and Dabi's neutral evil so he's got way less reasons to do that than the people who are actually paid to.

"I thought you weren't a total asshole," Hawks sighs, sounding a bit depressed.

That's really not Dabi's fault, is it?

He does set people on fire. Regularly.

Dabi slings an arm around the bird to cheer him up, because Dabi can be nice sometimes when he wants things.

And right now:

"So, seeing as I'm down a door and I care about shit like privacy, it looks like I'll be needing somewhere new to park till this shitshow's sorted. You did this, Feathers, and I know ya got your own place. Be a pal and invite a bestie in?"

"We are not besties, we're work colleagues, Hot-stuff."

Dabi's not seeing the distinction.

Dabi's in danger of being besties with nearly all the LOV, even Himiko's knife-happy, psycho ass.

"Oh? Who's the competition, birdy? Don't tell me it's ya handlers," Dabi checks lazily, anyway.

"Endeavor."

Wow, and not even a hint of irony.

Dabi feels his smile slip a bit; lets his arm drop.

Daddy dearest, hmm?

How annoying.

How annoying.

But that's heroes for you.

Who gives a shit if you beat up your families, right?

Who gives a shit if you beat up anyone, really.

Kill one person, save ten, and you're still nine lives up as compared with someone who did nothing and hurt no one, because in the end, to heroes, what are lives but currency you can convert into yen and spend?

"Hot-stuff?"

Dabi has been being rather quiet, hasn't he?

"Ya gotta give my heart time to recover, Feathers, when you drop that kinda shit on me. I thought the only flaming trashcan in your life was me."

"You are. The number two is only flaming."

Wow.

Ow.

Nope.

Today is truly not Dabi's day.

He'll work out how to one-up daddy some other day, though.

Right now, he's got a fake boss to murder/dodge, a real boss to ingratiate himself with, and an AFO to appease/hide from until he gets this whole mess sorted out, because there are 8 pings from Mr. Compress about a meeting in the abandoned warehouse ASAP, and Dabi already knows these lazy fucks are going to make him do their work for them.

He's swamped.

Life's tough.

Dabi hits Hawks in the neck with a syringe of sedative when the dumb bird is unwise enough to turn his feathered back on him, and then Dabi hauls the bird's ass to the couch (well, not really hauls, Hawks is really worryingly light if Dabi did worry, but Dabi left worry for others behind along with all other sentimental attachments at the tender age of 15) and plops him down there with a sticky-note on his chest that says 'Srry about that, birdy. Catch ya later next Friday when things are sorted out. Say hi to your handlers for me and maybe fix that door on the way out, yeah?' and then Dabi fixes himself a second coffee, pulls a hoodie on, hops a taxi to the LOV meeting point, and switches the fuck off his phone.

Int. UA - Medical Office - Sunday - 1:45 a.m. 

Unlike Deku, who's never made a secret of the fact that he's not planning on making it to 30 (and that's being generous, Katsuki ain't sure Deku's even planning on making it to 20), Katsuki actually looks after himself.

It's yet another thing in his life he's A+ at, and his count for Gummy-crone visits sits at an impressive 1.

The only person at UA who's ever beaten Katsuki into the ground is All Might, that's how good Katsuki is at murdering shit before it touches him, and All Might could only do it cuz Katsuki had to work with Deku. (Literally anybody else in Class 1-A would have been a better party member for that shitty exam than Deku's All Might-worshiping ass.)

The downside of this impressive statistic, though, is that Katsuki isn't actually too sure what's going to be waiting for him when he comes to the Gummy-crone's office.

He knows:

1. He will get a kiss.
2. He will, maybe, also get offered some gummy bears when he is discharged, because he was last time. (Katsuki did not take them.)

That's about it.

Sue him, it's not like he's Deku about noticing shit about other people's quirks. Katsuki was unconscious post that shitty exam. Not Katsuki's fault he remembers fuck-all between blacking out and waking up basically healed, and when he did wake, Katsuki was too busy being mad at Deku for landing him there to pay much attention to the crone or check what she'd actually done to him. (Bad back Katsuki's foot. Deku had three fucking minutes to get to that gate while Katsuki was killing his arms to buy him time and the nerd did not move one fucking inch, Deku didn't save shit, Katsuki wouldn't have been unconscious in the first place if Deku'd just fucking moved.)

Still, it's not that he's worried.

(She's like 200, he can definitely flatten her if she tries anything.)

But it's also not like he's relaxed, either.

(He doesn't like being touched by just anyone and she probably is going to try to touch him, and if she says he's got any permanent damage it's going to suck. He's a tiny bit worried about that. He knows it's a bad move to walk on a fucked-up leg as long as he did, but it's also not like it was an exploded bone or anything, Katsuki's leg isn't jelly like Deku's go, so he's pretty sure his was just a regular break and it'll be fine.)

The crone's got a shitty night net over her hair when they get in, and PJs under her lab coat; clearly, Katsuki woke her up.

Sucks for her, but Katsuki's sure she's being paid overtime for this, just like Sensei is for picking him up.

The old crone gives him a clinical once-over, tsks, and tells him to get on the bed and make himself comfortable while she fills out some charts and checks some things with Sensei and gets her shit ready to asses him.

(Those two instructions seem mutually exclusive. Katsuki'd be much happier on his feet cuz the bed's too soft, Katsuki's got air on three sides, and he doesn't like the idea of lying down when there are two other people on their feet in the room.)

But these are all just feelings. Objectively, Katsuki's in a safe spot with two pro heroes so there's no reason Katsuki shouldn't kick off his shoes, and scoot his ass onto that shitty too-soft bed, and that's exactly what he does.

It's a standard hospital bed; Katsuki locates the control unit and tilts the head of the bed up so he's at least sitting rather up than lying down and can keep an eye on shit and has something solid at his back and that's a bit better. (He didn't ask if he could but nobody said he couldn't, and he was told to make himself comfortable, so Katsuki assumes it's fine.)

The wrinkled prune hobbles over after maybe 5 mins or so and pulls the curtains and gets to work assessing. Katsuki glares at her while she does just to make it clear she doesn't get to feel sorry for him even if she is looking into all the places he's lost HP.

It turns out that she's all right, though.

She tells him what she's doing when she runs a couple of scans; pokes his arms; checks his feet; his leg. She doesn't talk down to him like he's five, she uses the full medical terms, and she tells him she remembers being as young as he was, and how much easier things like working knees and a good back made things like dusting her apartment and washing the dishes (the fuck doesn't she just buy a dishwasher?).

She also tells him about her four pet cats who all have names and do shit like sit on her desk when she's trying to type and hide under her car like suicidal shits when the car's warm and it's been raining, and who don't accept the fact that across her legs while she's sleeping instead of their cat baskets isn't actually where they get to stay even if it is warmer there. She also talks about how hard it is to be mad at them for doing shit like sleeping in the clean clothes piles again and for killing the birds that are dumb enough to land in her tiny little backyard. (Katsuki's getting more and more sure that in a previous life, Hands was a cat.) 

Sensei actually starts to take an interest in this conversation. Sensei. As in, actual expressions that aren't 'tired' are happening to his face.

Sensei is a cat person.

Katsuki's kinda fascinated, kinda gleeful.

He wonders if they sell cat-themed sleeping bags.

(Yes, Katsuki is aware it's a bitch move for a hardass of Sensei's rep. Yes, Katsuki would absolutely be that petty. He's even thinking of cat-themed wrapping paper come November.)

At some point, Katsuki kind of forgets he's supposed to be glaring at the old prune, and it seems kind of a waste to start again when he remembers. (She's older than his grandma, she's got a shit back, and she couldn't squash a spider with that syringe.)

Shit's not great but it's also not bad, is the results.

He's lost some muscle, but it's nothing he won't get back with training.

His quirk's not been damaged by the overuse he's subjected it to.

(She breaks it to him gently, but he's apparently been dreaming about being able to heat his feet up so he can activate his quirk through them like Hands can. Sadly, Katsuki ain't got an OP mutant quirk, Katsuki's dad can only heat his hands up and that's all he gave to Katsuki. So that sucks, but at least it's not Katsuki's fault he can't do it.)

Obviously he's sitting at around the 67% HP in terms of actual injuries, but none of it's anything a kiss won't cure.

Katsuki's pleased.

Once that shit's done, he's treated to the strange sight of Sensei getting a (friendly) earful from this batty old hag that Sensei could flatten in 3 seconds flat, who tells him she shoulda been the first stop, not the police station, and Katsuki kinda wishes he had a phone to record this shit cuz it ain't rational of the old prune-- it's a fucking waste of 2-to-3 hours to go to/back from the station twice, there's literally nothing to gain for those wasted hours except Katsuki not having to walk on a fucked leg and his cut-up feet for a bit and he's already been on 'em 25 days, even a support unit should know that kinda basic shit-- but it's still fucking fun to watch Sensei being ticked off and resignedly enduring being poked in the legs.

Katsuki maybe snorts.

The batty crone goes and pokes Katsuki in his good leg, then, and says he ain't off the hook either, he shoulda splinted his bad leg, she knows he knows how to, he's got a good brain and she's seen him do this shit just fine, he'd drive her grey if he were her kid and she weren't already grey, but those are all basically compliments and she's fuckin' wobbling without her stick to lean on while she pokes at him, if Katsuki were nice which he's not he'd want to grab her elbow or something to steady her, so for now, Katsuki decides she gets to nag at him and not be murdered.

Sucks a bit getting his leg re-broken, but she gives him painkillers beforehand (because she thinks he needs that shit) and tells him when he scowls at them that she hopes he won't be like some of the Class 1-B kids and childishly refuse to take them because he thinks inflicting unnecessary pain on himself is somehow cool (Katsuki ain't childish about shit, he's way better than anybody in Class 1-B, he can take his meds just fine) so he's in kind of a pleasant, floaty haze that registers the re-break as a vague 'ow' rather than 'gotta-not-scream' level pain when his bone gets snapped.

(Huh. Apparently she can squash a spider with that syringe.)

(A fat, slow spider that isn't moving, cuz she ain't fast or steady, but the point is, she's a tough old crone.)

She kisses him after she's realigned it and only sheer willpower stops Katsuki from blacking out on the spot when his stamina bar-- already under 30%-- plummets to the sub-zeros.

He feels sick, dizzy and still weirdly floaty and it's still too fucking quiet and he just wants to sleep.

Plus Ultra, though.

There's a welcome back party waiting for him.

There's banners and a cake to blow up and Class 1-A to yell at for crowding him.

Deku'll cry and Shitty-hair will tell Katsuki he's sorry he ever lent on Katsuki's double's stupid, inferior shoulder.

Plus Ultra, Katsuki's gotta stay awake for that shit.

Old crone asks him if he needs to rest.

Katsuki snarls a grin and tells her he'll rest when he's fuckin' dead.

So yeah, the whole healing process is a bit shitty, but it's not like he loses his meal or anything. That part comes later, when the old crone gives him some different medicine which she says is for deworming him. Because worms are a thing he has. Fuckin' creepy long ones, kinda twisted and coiled in there like noodle strands; she shows him the scans.

(Katsuki's been sharing meals with two sets of spineless interlopers these past weeks without realizing it, apparently.)

Fuckin' thieves.

The medicine he's got's some miracle tablet from someone's marketed quirk that will apparently murder worms and because UA is Plus Ultra, Katsuki spends most of the next 10 mins after he's swallowed the shitty thing retching into a bowl the old crone's nice enough to pass him first, which is good (faster recovery than OTC meds for this shit) but also bad (fuckin' waste of an expensive meal. Least UA was the one who payed for it. Also, being sick sucks.)

So do the worms. They're kinda pale, kinda skinny, kinda gross, and there's about 6 of 'em once he gets them up. (The medicine he ate will apparently kill the eggs, too. Katsuki checks.)

Katsuki pokes them, a tiny bit fascinated, and then his bucket is taken away because Sensei has this weird idea that it ain't healthy to poke at puked-up worms mixed into your dinner.

Hands'll probably need this shit done, too.

Katsuki makes a mental note of the brand the old crone used, cuz Katsuki'll need to look into it when he visits him. The police don't like Hands, judgmental assholes, so Katsuki doubts they'll run these kinds of checks. Not like worms will kill you, and the police don't seem like people who plan go out of their way to make Hands feel less shitty.

Katsuki's fixed, apparently-- he gets some kind of a spearmint flavoured mouthwash and a couple of alcohol-smelling wipes to clean his hands off, and then the old prune hobbles off to her desk to write this shit up.

Katsuki maybe takes a touch longer with the rinsing than he needs.

He needs his stamina bar in the positives to do shit like get up.

Eventually it ticks up over to 1%.

"So," Katsuki swings his feet outta the shitty bed; pulls his shoes on. "Dorms? And fuck surprises, Sensei, what's gonna be waiting for me? How bad of a 'welcome back' party do I gotta prep myself to blow?"

"I have been with you all day, problem child," Sensei reminds him, sounding resigned. "I have no idea what is waiting for you. Knowing your classmates, it could be anything. Strive to remember that it is against school policy to blow up the dorms. Strive to remember that it is also against school policy to explode your dorm-mates. Including Midoriya. Especially Midoriya."

Huh.

Well, that sucks.

Katsuki was kinda assuming that without Auntie Inko around--

"What's the punishment?" Katsuki checks.

Sensei fixes him with a Stare.

"Problem child, I have had 6 hours' sleep in the past 36 hours. Two of those hours were in a taxi. Two were under a chair in a noisy station. Do not go there."

Katsuki drops it for now.

There's no way it's being dropped forever, though. Katsuki's gonna be beating Deku up at some point no matter what the punishment is, and Icyhot, too, cuz how else is Katsuki gonna prove he's the best? Not like Sensei lets 'em sort things out in training, Sensei shuts down every grudge match Katsuki's tried to get. But Katsuki'll pick a good moment, he's not gonna do it tonight, he needs to be rested for this shit cuz Deku's tough these days and losing to Deku (again) would suck.

Sensei signs the papers; Katsuki's discharged.

Katsuki's still feeling weirdly nice and floaty. He's not hurting (fuck is it nice to not be hurting) he's back at UA, he's gonna track down and deworm Hands tomorrow, and he'll think about not blowing up those cakes that are probably waiting for him.

Katsuki's pretty sure as far as Plus Ultra goes, Katsuki's knocked Plus Ultra for a fucking six.

(Katsuki wonders if he'd get away with trading off dusting the old prune's apartment for her in return for her coming with him tomorrow to check on Hands.)

Int. UA - UA Class 1-A Dorm Common Room - Sunday - 2:46 a.m. 

Katsuki called it: There is a welcome party.

What he also called was that there'd be more than a 50% attendance, despite the shitty hour. (Class 1-A are a bunch of nice, social fuckers.)

And there are more than 75% when he walks in, so he's not wrong there.

The fucking problem though, that's chasing away the nice, floaty feeling of the meds and leaving a shitty, sour feeling in his stomach, is that there's 105.3% of them.

In addition to all of Class 1-A, there is his shitty, weak, Uno-loving double.

Katsuki kinda eyes it.

(It looks like him.)

(Fuck, it really--)

(It's even slouching like he slouches, and it's got a plate of spicy rice cakes at its elbow that smell like they're from the shitty little restaurant a 5-minute walk from UA that nobody's supposed to know about but Katsuki.)

"Bakugou!" Shitty-hair says brightly (from too fucking close to it).

And he shoulda picked it. In hindsight, that, right then, when Shitty-hair stayed where he was and didn't do shit like grovel and beg for the forgiveness Katsuki'd eventually have given him's when Katsuki probably shoulda picked it.

But he doesn't, not yet.

It's the fucking meds.

Even with the shitty feeling, even when he's not quite sure why that thing's even here, much less not dead, Katsuki's just kinda waiting for Shitty-hair to detach himself like he usually detaches himself from his other friends when he wants to hang out with Katsuki, and it takes longer than it should to register that Shitty-hair ain't planning on detaching himself at all.

He's spouting some bullshit-- welcome back, we really missed you, manly as hell to survive that-- but none of it's making Katsuki feel happy like it usually does cuz Shitty-hair ain't fucking moving.

Why the fuck isn't he moving?

Ain't Katsuki the main event here?

Katsuki's pretty sure he is.

He's supposed to be.

But, no.

Katsuki is not the main event.

It's a shared main event-- a combined welcome back/farewell party because Nedzu-- the fuckin' rat-- has apparently said that that shitty clone's gonna to be leaving campus tomorrow, and not in the form of dirt to be added to UA's gardens, and Shitty-hair thinks Katsuki'd like the chance to meet his shitty double so it's less weird because Clonekugo's great and manly and fucking A+ and just as real to Shitty-hair as Katsuki is.

Shitty-hair's fucking insane.

It not a guy.

It ain't an anything, it's fucking mud.

Why the fuck are they naming mud?

"The fuck?" Katsuki looks to Sensei.

Why the fuck, he means, has nobody kicked the shitty thing to death yet?

Maybe a little bit, is Sensei gonna be a bitch about it if Katsuki does UA's job for them?

Absolutely Sensei's gonna be a bitch about this, apparently, cuz Sensei says he's gonna call Nedzu and find out what the fuck's happening and meanwhile, Katsuki ain't allowed to blow up shit in the dorms.

It's fucked that he can't, but on 2% stamina Katsuki wasn't gonna be up for blowing up much of anything anyway that's gonna put up more fight than a chocolate cake, so Katsuki's stuck watching and the sour feeling's getting worse because it sucks that he can't do shit about the fact that the only friend Katsuki has in UA is standing next to a shitty, fake double when he could be standing next to Katsuki.

It sucks.

Objectively and subjectively, it sucks.

It's him in every way except that it isn't, and there's a hot, angry feeling forming that Katsuki usually gets when All Might gives pep talks to shitty Deku, cuz Deku copies Katsuki's moves and gets told well done for it when Katsuki doesn't when he's the one who came up with them in the first place (not that he needs that shit, he doesn't, but if they're handing it out anyway--) and this shitty double has copied literally everything and what the fuck does it have that he doesn't when everything about it except it's shit life choices to not fight and to play Uno are copied directly from him?

Maybe All Might gets a pass. All Might's All Might, All Might doesn't give a shit that Deku plagiarizes his moves, of course he doesn't give a shit that Deku plagiarizes Katsuki's.

But Shitty-hair? Shitty-hair's got no excuse. So what if he's never going to see the shitty mud pile after today? It's fucking mud, he's had it every day for 16-17 days--

And it's not that Katsuki doesn't get a proper welcome.

There's the shitty blank-faced crowd he never talked to before anyway and who he has no idea what to say to who tick off the usual nice person boxes, and there are people like Four-eyes and Ponytail who need to do more as the class reps and tell him shit like they're pleased to see him, they're sorry they missed that whole shitty swap, it's great he's not 6-foot under, etc., if he needs help adjusting, let them know if there's anything they can do.

Deku's nerdy ass is sweating, and he manages to avoid using 'Kacchan' to either of 'em, mainly by not talking to either of 'em, cuz Deku hasn't got a clue what to call a Katsuki-shaped human being except Kacchan and if he calls some fake clone Kacchan he's fuckin' dead.

Icyhot's blank face's there, too.

He's the only one who's ignoring the shitty clone cuz Icyhot's an expressionless bitch who ignores everyone and is just here for the cold soba, so Katsuki decides he's the one Katsuki's going to approach.

(He takes the plate of rice cakes from his shitty double's elbow on the way past. The whole plate. Who gives a shit if he's still feeling slightly queasy? Food's supposed to be good for nausea, yeah? The things shouldn't be here in the first place, that clone's got no business to be sharing where Katsuki eats at or what he likes to eat with other human beings, it's fucked enough he's gotta share Shitty-hair with the fucking parasite until Sensei gets back and gives him the OK to blow it up, nobody gets to eat these except for Katsuki.)

Icyhot's slurping his soba when Katsuki approaches.

Katsuki's shit at small talk; Icyhot is, too, so Katsuki gets straight to the point.

"The fuck ain't it dead yet, Icyhot?" Katsuki checks, stabbing at the shitty rice cakes. "Don't tell me it's cuz nobody had the spine, I know at least one person in Class 1-A has one."

Icyhot doesn't seem to need to look to know what Katsuki's talking about.

Not that he would anyway. The only things he's got eyes for are his shitty noodles.

"It was concluded that there were insufficient reasons to destroy it."

"Insufficient how, Icyhot?"

Icyhot slurps a mouthful of noodles.

(Fucking bitch.)

"On the deserves-to-die side, Bakugou: it is a walking privacy breach, it isn't you and is therefore a bit creepy, it is a case of stalker-meets-identity-theft. Helping it adapt to civilian life is unlikely to prove fruitful, since it is unlikely to live long anyway. It will most likely die within one-to-two months, since if it is a copy of you, it will probably harm itself to stop villains or save people in trouble because in its heart it will still be a good person and a hero even if it is not actually human or going to UA."

Katsuki can feel his ears going red.

(It's the rice cakes. They're fucking spicy.)

"Shut the fuck up, Icyhot, I fucking wouldn't, if that thing's me it'll live selfish and die happy at 80, I ain't good, I ain't nice, and I don't take damage for shit."

Icyhot slurps some more noodles.

"And on the deserves-to-live side?" Katsuki checks grudgingly.

"Kirishima-kun cried when Asui-san pointed out she could secrete a toxin and kill it painlessly and quietly before you got back, because you might be uncomfortable seeing it."

Katsuki digests that.

"You fuckin' kidding me?"

"No."

"...She can do that?"

"Mm."

Fuckin' tough-ass. She's definitely been holding back.

Icyhot finishes off his bowl, and helps himself to a second one.

"Yaoyorozu-san suggested cyanide as an alternative, if secretions were the cause of the discomfort. Kirishima-kun explained his objection was to the death itself, not the cause of it."

Katsuki stabs another rice cake.

"It can't 'die', it never fucking lived, it's fucking mud."

"Mm. This was pointed out. He said something about 'Cogito, ergo sum', and that he was a mud pile who had Kokoro. But the main thing was that he cried."

Katsuki stabs a third piece.

"He actually likes it?"

"Mm."

"...Even though it ain't me?"

"Mm."

And here's the thing:

Icyhot ain't lying.

Shitty-hair's smiling at that thing right now the way he's supposed to be smiling at Katsuki.

That spineless parasite's enjoying being picked by him, too, even if it's trying not to fucking show it, cuz who the fuck wouldn't enjoy being picked by Shitty-hair? He's the fucking sun.

It just sucks that the one who Shitty-hair picked wasn't Katsuki.

(Hands'd've picked Katsuki.)

(Hands'd've killed it for Katsuki.)

(Hands'd probably still kill it for Katsuki.)

(And then Shitty-hair would fucking cry, cuz he likes a shitty pile of fucking mud better than he likes Katsuki.)

(Fuck this fucking sucks.)

Katsuki ain't seen anything this sad since the day Deku held a fuckin' funeral for that All Might toy Katsuki blew the head off of when Katsuki was 5.

Whatever, though.

It's whatever.

It's like the old hag says, yeah? You don't gotta change so your friends will like you, that's being a weak, insecure bitch, but you also don't get to blame 'em for not liking you if you don't change, cuz they get to live however the fuck they want to live, too. Katsuki's happy down here at his 4-to-5 on the decent human being scale, he ain't planning on climbing up high enough on the ladder to do shit like join movie night or play Uno. So what if Shitty-hair'd apparently like him better if he did? If Shitty-hair prefers a weak loser he can have fun with and protect, who'll never fight a real fight in his shitty life again, that's Shitty-hair's problem, not Katsuki's.

"You're melting your plate," Icyhot points out.

Katsuki supposes he is.

He pitches it in the trash near the door and keeps going and gets the fuck out.

The fuck shouldn't he?

He clearly isn't needed or wanted by the only person worth enduring this shitty party for, so why the fuck should he stay?

Sensei's shown him where his room is; Katsuki heads there.

All the stuff is his stuff, except the bed which is a double of the one he's got at home. A double for a double, ain't that irony? Every single fucking thing in this room's been touched by that shitty clone, and right now it knows more about where his shit is than Katsuki does.

It's fucking creepy and it doesn't feel like home.

It's better than the sewer, objectively, when Katsuki pokes around a bit. Be nicer if it was shit at something, but it's A+ at organizing like Katsuki is, and everything's been put exactly where logic would expect it to be put, and exactly where Katsuki'd have chosen to put it himself. Any changes he made would just make shit worse, so Katsuki opens the window; sits on the balcony; admires the fucking stars.

(He can fly, who gives a shit if he's on the edge?)

He's safe.

He's back at UA.

He's fucking happy.

He is.

He's not some co-dependant shit who needs to be wanted to be happy, he can do 'happy' solo, he's a winner and he won. Everything's fine.

Later, maybe 3:30, Katsuki lies on the shitty bed that isn't his and stares at the roof and counts sheep till dawn.

(It's still too quiet and he still can't fucking sleep.)

Even the fucking sheep hate him, he keeps losing count, and the fluffy little shits don't give a single fuck about it.

Katsuki imagines exploding them till dawn instead.

The sheep don't give a fuck about that, either.

Ah well.

It just means he's not tired yet, right?

If he was tired, he'd sleep.

If he's not sleeping, he's not tired.

Everything's fine.

He's happy, shit's great, he did well, he fucking aced it, and everything is fucking fine.

Chapter Text

Ext. Police Station - Saturday Morning

The first thing Midnight does, of course, is parade Tomura in front of the press to be photographed.

Because she's a bitch, Tomura doesn't get so much as a black hoodie, he's stuck in a fluffy sweater that's too large for him and house slippers two sizes too big and all of these photos are going to be up on the internet forever.

It's annoying.

Tomura could kill them, though, because house slippers aren't hard to kick off and neither are socks and he can kill things with his feet, so it's not like he couldn't end everyone here if he wanted to.

(Maybe. If Midnight didn't gas him first.)

But then the brat wouldn't be paid and he likes money so Tomura is going to make sure the brat gets some.

(He checks who is going to be paid for his capture on the way here, of course, heroes can't be trusted.

Obviously, he's not going to endure this indignity to line some other hero's pockets.

Midnight sends him a dry look and drawls that it's obviously going to be Bakugou since the young hero did the work and has a bank account, does he really think she's Mt. Lady, kiddo, UA has ethics. Really, if it wasn't for the whole awkward situation of 1) Illegal quirk usage (not that Bakugou's usage was illegal; the issue is the copy-cats out there who will try to do it too if they see a 16-year-old on TV getting away with it). 2) Those dead bodies at least a third of whose families are going to sue someone over if it's anyone who was supposed to have ethics who treated the bodies like that. (Midnight's a bitch, she can handle the bad press there, but the kid really doesn't need that) and 3) Politics, (no, she's not going to go there with him, he doesn't have the clearance levels), the kid'd be the one with him getting to do this.)

Shame it can't be the brat. Everybody is telling Midnight she's amazing for bringing in the head of the LOV.

The brat likes being told he's amazing, and he likes the cameras pointed on him.

He'd also have been better company to talk to, he wouldn't have let those reporters blind Tomura with their incessant flashlights, and he'd probably have sourced Tomura something black to start with because the brat gets that reputation is important, too.

Midnight smiles, waves, and doesn't do shit.

The reporters buzz around Tomura like they're mosquitos and he's a blood bag.

He wants to squash them.

Spray them, maybe.

Tomura amuses himself by imagining the order he'd let them die in.

The ones who shove mics into his face and scream 'were you really the one who destroyed Hosu' can die first. Obviously it was him, do they think it was Stain? Stain is a nobody. Stain doesn't deserve a front page at all. The ones who keep blinding him by using the flash on their cameras can die next. Midnight, obviously, needs to go. The people gawking behind them muttering and staring at him like he's not human clearly have nothing better to do with their lives than die.

It would be their fault if they did die, too; they were the ones who knocked out the brat, it wouldn't have been hard to wait until he'd moved, it wouldn't have been hard to ask him to instead of just letting him collapse in a heap like that (Tomura has bruises; he assumes the brat does, too), and if they hadn't knocked him out, he'd probably have told them to put quirk restraints on Tomura's feet, because the kid's annoyingly hung-up about other people dying.

45 minutes, the whole farce lasts.

Then Tomura is put back in a car, blindfolded, and taken to a different police station.

(Cute, that they think this will stop Sensei from finding him once Tomura calls.)

(They don't let Tomura call Sensei yet, though.)

Instead, he's put in an interrogation room with a glass wall that they can probably see through from their side and that he can't, and they ask questions for 12 hours.

Tomura doesn't have a clue what the LOV are up to, but obviously he's not telling the police that.

None of the police have useful quirks like truth quirks; they don't have quirks period unless you count anthromorphic quirks, so Tomura has an amusing time inventing things the LOV are doing, and drops hints that they have connections in the police force and the HPSC and have been operating, spinning a growing web for years, and all of this is just the tip of the iceberg.

They do annoying things like shout at him and ask him how he could hurt children.

(It's the police and the heroes who are encouraging children to hold guns in their wars; they don't have the right to bitch that the villains are shooting at them.)

They tell him that hundreds died at Hosu, businesses went bankrupt, and that if it hadn't been for heroes, it would have been thousands who died.

(There's a nagging sense of annoyance. People need to die for Society to be destroyed, Sensei says so. Why are they trying to name the NPCs?)

They want to know why he's doing this.

(Because Society is broken glass and it's not fair that the people with shoes are the ones who make the rules and force everyone who wasn't born with shoes to walk through life limping on bleeding feet.)

Because they are professional police, there is a good cop, too, along with this annoying, shouting one.

He does things like offer Tomura water (he doesn't drink it.)

He tells Tomura he's sure he had a tough life. (But he doesn't actually give a shit, does he? It's in his eyes, like it's in his partner's; he doesn't think Tomura's human.)

He tells the other officer 8 hours in that they should wrap things up and let Tomura rest. (But he doesn't make his partner do it.)

Tomura sees through both of them.

Neither of them can be trusted.

They don't get to give him food, they don't get to treat his wounds, and they don't get to hear Tomura's monologues and they certainly don't get his tragic backstory. They're not worth convincing, they're not worth the air they breathe, he doesn't like them and they can trip on air and die.

(They keep showing him photos of Hosu, like Tomura is supposed to care about Society.

Do they really think he didn't think people were going to die when he sent in nomu to blow up whole streets?

People needed to die, how else was anyone going to take the LOV seriously, and dying quickly against a nomu is a perfectly humane death. It's not like they humiliate or torture people or starve them to death, nomus are really just like zombies once you set them on someone, and since the police and the HPSC still give prisoners like Moonfish the death penalty, it's not like they have a leg to stand on when it comes to arguing human life has sanctity in and of itself. Why do they get to kill whoever they want and then bitch at Tomura for doing the same? Tomura's sure the police have killed hundreds of people, too.)

(There's a disgusted look in both of their eyes, like he's something less than human.)

They tell him kids as young as five died in Hosu.

(Did they?)

Tomura tells them that in this rotten Society, kids as young as five die anyway.

They give up on 'truth' and 'remorse' eventually.

They don't beat him; the brat seems to have been telling the truth there that there are rules against that.

They do stick him to a chair, though; more or less the same style Tomura used for the brat 26 days ago.

The irony isn't lost on him.

They're not really all that comfortable. He owes the brat a present, maybe, once he's free in addition to the 5 million yen he's already basically giving the brat as a present (something the brat likes, perhaps-- what does he like?) because his shoulders are being pulled and his back's getting a crick in it, and even though nobody has done anything to him, it's an uncomfortable feeling knowing they could.

(And that's not even getting into the logistics of bathroom visits.)

Tomura glares at the ceiling.

He misses the sewer.

At least there, the one thing you never had to worry about was bathrooms.

They lead him to a car late afternoon; he's got quirk restraints on his hands and his feet now.

It's discomforting; he doesn't like it.

He doubts he's meant to, though.

Apparently, he's being transferred again.

They've asked everything they want to ask; where he's being taken now is apparently where he'll be staying till Monday, when it's business days again and people will do things like transfer money between bank accounts and drive prisoners from 'wherever this is' to Tartarus.

He'll also get to call a lawyer, so that he can do things like try not to get the death sentence for his crimes.

(Quaint, that they think he has any intention of working within their pathetic, biased, dehumanizing system.)

Tomura hopes the brat's having a better time of things where he is.

It's not like Tomura can take his future lieutenant with him, though, even if he isn't.

Tomura's got to sort things out with Sensei first before he continues his recruitment drive.

Tomura doesn't think Sensei is going to mind that he probably isn't going to get to become a Demon Lord atop a pile of burning/disintegrated skulls, but that has been Sensei's dream for as long as Tomura's known him, and so as the senpai, Tomura isn't going to let the brat anywhere near Sensei till he works out if Sensei's going to take things personally once Tomura breaks the news.

Int. No Name Station - Saturday Evening

The thing about serial killers with coordinate-based warp-gates at their disposal is that places that are supposed to be secure (like Musutafu's Tartarus Transfer Station) kind of aren't.

A combination of this and the torturous logic of hero politics that no one can follow are how a tiny no-name station-- famous only for being the place where you're demoted to if you do things like question orders, kill people while on duty, or fake your work hours on your web trackers-- ends up housing the head of the LOV inside its not-very-clean cells while paperwork is processed and things get ready for Monday, when civil servants kick into gear and drivers can do things like transport high-security prisoners to Tartarus where people actually know how to deal with powerful quirks.

Nobody who is sent here has a name.

(If they do, everyone forgets it.)

People who are sent here are the sort of people who other people squint at at high school reunions and genuinely don't recognise (which is one step worse than just pretending not to) and the most heroic and dramatic things any of the police in this sleepy little prefecture get to help solve are middle-class complaints about the odd vandalised letterbox and the occasional dispute between cantankerous neighbours who are sure that it's poison, not grubs, that is killing their cabbages.

(These events are highlights the police look forward to, that's how boring this area is.)

To say that nobody is quite sure, therefore, how to deal with their prisoner is a bit of an understatement.

(A few people mutter that given how much the HPSC are forking out for this capture, it wouldn't have killed them to also fork out some overtime rates to pay for a driver to transport the guy straight to Tartarus.)

Nobody mutters that very loudly, though.

The HPSC's left hand mightn't know what it's right hand is doing funding-wise, but both of its ears are always peeled when there's talk of dissention, and you don't need to have studied Quirk Equality in the Workplace to know that if a quirkless person loses their job-- which all the police at this station are-- nobody bats an eye.

Monday's not too far away.

For lack of better ideas, the police check their SOPs for 'villain capture' and make sure they're ticking off the boxes for 'decent prisoner management', try to ignore how creeped out they are by the fact that a serial killer is right here in the holding cell (who seriously snuffs out another human being's life like a candle flame?), and hope they won't be caught in a nomu attack if the LOV tries rescuing their leader. (More than one officer suspects the HPSC might be considering everyone here to be the expendable bait in a station-shaped LOV-capturing mouse-trap. Nobody voices this thought, though, either.)

There's some discussion in the lunchroom; it's eventually agreed that nobody with relatives who died in Hosu is allowed within reach because the police have standards. It's not fair on the relatives to have to see someone who did that and not get to beat them up and kill them, and box 2 on the SOP is 'avoid inflicting unnecessary violence on cooperative prisoners'.

It's a small station, so segregation will be hard.

It's therefore decided that those people get to take the rest of the weekend off, and also Monday.

(A few enterprising junior policemen invent dead relatives in Hosu to enjoy the long weekend; the idea spreads.)

In the end, only pushovers and ethical people who don't have dead relatives are left to man the station.

It's a bit sad, really-- in any other job, understaffing would be a problem and angry managers would guilt trap you into next week for trying to take even a day of unscheduled time off.

The police, who are basically a taxpayer-funded data-entry unit and-- more than one snide taxpayer has sourly added, a villain B&B-- barely notice.

It's a lowering reflection.

But nobody here really had any morale left to lose anyway, so they continue doing their jobs.

(There's not a lot to do-- the heroes around here are too good at their jobs, so mostly the police enter data and try not to get too distracted by the elephant in the corner so to speak that's glaring hatefully at them from where he's hobbled in his holding cell.)

They're trying, OK?

In the police's defence, they do try to treat Shigaraki Tomura humanely, even though he's a creepy serial killer.

It's not like your average person likes seeing another human being covered in bandages and obviously suffering, and even if he is the leader of the LOV (which is kind of hard to swallow, but if the heroes and the up-and-coming hotshots over at the metropolitan stations say so, it must be true). Everyone in here is over 40, and it's just hard to be properly intimidated by a delinquent emo 10+ years your junior who's threatening murder while simultaneously looking at some of the burlier, male officers like he's expecting them to beat him.

(It's not that he flinches or pulls away; it's in the rigid lines of tension in the way he stands, like he wants to pull away and is forcing himself not to because he thinks if he has a weakness they'll pounce; in the way he's hyperaware, tracking every sound whenever anybody moves; the wary look he sends every single one of them, heavy with hate and mistrust, like he doesn't believe a single thing anyone says and doesn't believe he'll get one drop of the rights they dutifully read him; in the way that after he's called his lawyer-- a smoothly-urbane-sounding slime-ball who the guy for some reason insists on coming Monday and not the weekend; maybe he's trying to delay his transfer?-- and is put in his cell, he retreats to the back of it so that the wall is behind him and glares murder (and threatens it) to anybody approaching the bars.)

Box 6 of the 'humane treatment of prisoners' checklist is treat wounds, and it's not like the police have anything better to do, so they do offer.

The guy insists they're NPCs and their hands are cold and and he doesn't want treatment from them.

(It's not their fault the air-con unit died last week, they'd like to be warmer in here, too.)

There's some discussion (do you be good? do you be lawful?), but at last it's agreed that he technically does have the right to refuse it because the police are lawful people more than they're good people, and technically its worse to unlawfully disrespect people's right to refuse medical treatment than it is to watch them ooze to death needlessly.

(They think.)

(It's a grey area.)

They also-- in their defence-- don't starve him. They leave him food. They can't take his quirk restraints off since none of them have quirks that can restrain him and so they'd be disintegrated if they did that, but they do leave him food. Box five is checked off. If he won't eat the SOP-regulation food and decides to throw a tantrum and kick his bowl over because he can't hold the spoon or chopsticks, that's on him.

It's also on him if he won't sleep. (It's a station, not a hotel, and they're not a villain B&B no matter what taxpayers like to call them. Maybe a harmless hacker might get a cup of tea or something and a chat, but this prisoner is scary and creepy and hurt kids, so even if he does look sick and miserable there glaring at them from the corner of the holding cell he's retreated into, and even if the single blanket he's got isn't doing a lot to stop him shivering, nobody is going to be the someone who gives him a second blanket or a heat pack in front of everyone else.)

He's got a blanket.

They're not a villain B&B.

People died because of him.

So, the boxes (rights, food, medical treatment, sleep) are all ticked off.

Maybe nobody quite thinks they're ticked off as well as All Might would have ticked them off, but they're ticked.

There's a few twinges of conscience (he's a serial killer, but his file says that despite his weird-looking face, he's probably not 21. What the hell put him on this path? It's a horrible thought that someone could be born evil, but it's just as horrible to think that someone could have done something to stop this; was there really nothing anyone in his life could have done?) but they're mostly ignorable.

Saturday night passes without incident.

There's no rescue attempts, and no numus arrive and start trying to punch people's heads off or fly off with them.

Mostly, the police are pretty sure things are being handled fine.

(Maybe somebody will even get a promotion out of this. They can dream.)

So when they get a phone call Sunday afternoon from the kid who he kidnapped for a week-- (there's some higher-up confidential thing going on there, but it's nothing anyone lower-down knows about-- certainly not in this neck of the woods)-- asking, though it's more ordering, really, to be told where the fuck Shigaraki is cuz he wants to visit him, it kind of seems a no-brainer to say 'he's here' and 'sure'.

If it were a regular civilian asking, they'd be worried. (It's normally not a good idea to let kidnapping victims see their kidnappers unless a psychologist has recommended it, because that can be traumatizing.)

But this is a hero-in-training, and the police kind of assume he knows what he's doing, and has gotten the necessary approvals there.

(He's that kid who went wild at the Sports Festival, they're not going to let him into the prisoner's cell, SOP box 2 exists, but shouting at a prisoner isn't a crime if it's a hero doing it.)

They're not inhuman, so they give the prisoner a head's up he's going to get a visitor, and they tell him who it is because that seems like the human thing to do so he can prepare himself. (Nobody likes being shouted at.)

He doesn't look scared.

He kind of looks pleased.

It's about the most interested he's looked in anything since he was brought in here.

(He's still very creepy though.)

He wants to know the ETA.

There's no reason not to tell him, so they let him know.

One hour is the ETA.

For the next 60 minutes, Shigaraki alternates between glaring at the police and staring at the clock on the wall.

They make a note in his file.

Excessive anticipation on receiving visitors.

V: Bakugou Katsuki.

One hour later, almost to the dot, the hero gets there.

He's not that much different to TV; anyone who watches the news knows who this kid is.

He's got a backpack (scanned; no weapons) wears a bit more black than he does on TV and he seems to be keeping an eye on where the exits are, doesn't really hide the fact that he doesn't like them, and he'd probably throw hands with a 12-year-old for eyeliner, but he's not much worse than any other emo teen. (It doesn't look like they'll need to use the tasers they've got prepped for when he goes wild just yet.)

They do a few, necessary ID tests anyway, of course, even if they do know him. Normally no one would bother, but the LOV has shapeshifters, and the SOP came through yesterday to ID all visitors properly because Some Stations have been skipping on due diligence checks.

Bakugou doesn't try to bite them or kick them. He sits through the tests like he's used to them and while his eye does start to tick when the poor medic takes two shots to get his vein for the blood test, he doesn't flinch or shout at them; he just says do they need him to do their job for them, he can stick the needle in himself if they're struggling, fucking level 1s.

The medic says that won't be necessary.

He gets the vein on the third attempt.

Bakugou stands around while they wait for the scans to check out; wanders over to the site map, glances at it; glares at the floor, bored.

The receptionist takes advantage of this to ask for his autograph for her ten-year-old.

He squints at her dubiously.

"It's her birthday next week, and she's been your fan since the Sports Festival, kid."

Bakugou doesn't look friendly, but this particular receptionist would arm-wrestle a buffalo for her offspring (and she's definitely not above telling the hero-in-training they're dying of cancer if the birthday won't do it) so she just keeps determinedly smiling.

Bakugou slouches a bit more.

"...Sure. Whatever, I guess. Not writing 'happy birthday' though, I don't do that shit."

The receptionist says that's fine. (Since the police know it's not actually her kid's birthday, that's actually a plus for her.)

Bakugou signs his name with permanent marker in neat, crisp strokes; (fuck, his writing is neat and his ears are red, he looks embarrassed like their kids do when they tell them 'I love you' in public, and the officers kind of exchange looks over the back of his head because it's slowly dawning on them that hero or not, he's just a kid. He's not even 20, he's basically a baby. Where are his teachers? Where are his parents? Why is he alone?)

The police are worried.

Belatedly, maybe, but they are.

It's becoming apparent that not nearly enough thought went into that 'here he is and sure you can come'.

It's too late to retract that now, though; they've already approved the visit, and the tests come back clear. The kid's already got the site map memorized apparently, because as soon as they tell him he can, he's off straight off in the direction of the holding cells without so much as a 'by your leave', and 5 minutes later, he's in front of the prisoner's cell.

And here's the thing: This is a (reputably) violent kid who has way more reasons than the police to hate Shigaraki, but Shigaraki doesn't look worried at all.

He's the opposite of scared.

Like an evil spider that has just spotted an entrapped a fly, he's detaching himself from the far-left corner of his cell and moving over, and he's not rigid with tension, glaring or telling the kid he's going to look up his name and his family and melt him to dust slowly (3 officers have been told that so far), he's actually relaxing, the tense lines in his shoulders are more or less melting away, and instead of twitching whenever anyone so much as drops a pen, the only person in the room he's got eyes for is the kid.

The police exchange looks.

That's not an 'I'm about to be shouted at' face.

That's an I'm-happy-to-see-you face.

He's looking at the kid like he's the latest MightPhone or something and the kid--

He's managing to both fluff up in annoyance and look soothed at the same time, and there's a kind of bruised tiredness behind his eyes that the police didn't really notice was there till it melts into a kind of prickly exasperation and the kid plops himself down outside the villain's cell like he hasn't got an audience at all.

It's worrying on a number of levels.

Not least because technically it's noted in his file that this kid is possibly villain material.

(But nobody would be dumb enough to visit a villain they were planning on joining/rescuing in broad daylight, right? So probably they're reading too much into this. They hope they are.)

Shigaraki is the first one to speak, sounding a mixture of pleased and smug.

"I thought you were going to dump me off at the nearest station and forget about me, brat. Missing my monologues already?"

The kid flips him the finger.

"Shut the fuck up, loser, my brain is the only thing missing your shitty monologues, I ain't missing shit, and I ain't here cuz I give a shit what my brain misses. I'm here cuz we need to murder some worms."

"...Those worms?" Shigaraki takes a vague stab at the officers.

(Ouch.)

"You're fuckin' lucky it's against regulation to kick prisoners in holding cells or I'd kick you in the leg. No we ain't murdering the fucking NPCs, loser, what the fuck? We're gonna murder some literal worms."

"...I'm not averse to stepping on worms, brat, obviously, but I'm not seeing any earthworms around."

"They ain't earthworms, loser, they're inside your stomach. I had 'em, so you probably do, too. UA got rid of 'em cuz UA doesn't suck. You've probably had 'em for years cuz your Sensei does suck and your party doesn't have a healer. You live above a sewer and your hygiene was shit anyway even before you kidnapped me. 's probably why your skin always looks like shit."

"My skin is fine, brat, not all of us have the budget for moisturizers," Shigaraki huffs.

Dutifully, the police make more notes.

Cannot afford moisturizers.

Possible tapeworm (?) infection.

Bakugou and Shigaraki both ignore them.

The kid's fishing out some kind of tablets and water and a bucket, and he's getting within clubbing range of the bars and feeding them to Shigaraki.

(Should they have run some kind of a test on whatever the kid's feeding the villain?

SOP Box 9 is 'don't let people with grudges murder people they have grudges against', the police don't want to fail in their duty here.)

Too late to worry about that now, though; Shigaraki has already accepted the white tablet he's being offered with little more than a dubious look and he swallows the water the kid's holding out to him, too, and then he spends the next 10 minutes being violently sick not because the kid's fed him poison, but just because the kid apparently doesn't believe in any of the (numerous) brands of deworming pills that just quietly kill worms and let them pass out the more natural way through the other end of the digestive tract.

"This sucks, brat," Shigaraki complains between retches, 5 minutes in.

"Sharing your life with parasites sucks more," the kid counters, sitting comfortably with his back to the wall behind him, half an eye on the station office, half an eye on Shigaraki, not seeming at all worried by the smell or the wholly unnecessary misery he's just inflicted on another human being. "Be done in 10 mins and you'll be able to admire the stringy fuckers and not have to worry about them after you're shipped out to Tartarus."

"I wasn't worried about them anyway," Shigaraki hisses.

True to the kid's word, the meds run their course in 10 mins.

Since Shigaraki has not been eating, there's not much in that bowl except worms and stomach acid, and the kid seems upset by this.

Legitimately upset.

He tells the police they suck, that's 36 hours the loser's been in custody, why the fuck isn't there food in that bowl?

(The food's right there, it's not their fault the prisoner isn't eating it. You don't need the spoon to drink soup.)

He also asks where the fuck their bio-hazard waste disposal setup is, because that's a normal thing for 16-year-olds to want to know.

The police tell him they'll handle things. (Nobody wants to be the one to tell this temperamental hero-in-training things like vomit and worms really just go down the toilet or into the trash.)

Finally, he wants to know why the fuck the loser's in the same bandages he was in yesterday.

The medic mumbles something about patient consent.

The kid's eye ticks again.

"I don't give a fuck if he's being a bitch about it, it's your fucking job, so fucking treat him."

"I don't want him to treat me, brat. This sweater isn't going to come off over these cuffs and I am not letting those people cut off my clothes so that they can do an inferior job of treating my wounds. They won't give me new ones. They don't give a shit about me. They won't even give me two blankets, and it's already freezing in these disgusting cells. I won't die from this, brat, and unless I'm going to die from it, nobody gets to help me with injuries except you and Kurogiri and Sensei."

Bakugou looks at him, left eye ticking, radiating Unimpressed.

Shigaraki glares back.

"You know--" the medic starts.

"Don't think I can't kill you, worm, just because I'm in quirk restraints. I could kill you with one toe with my eyes shut. I don't like you and I don't want your help."

That feels a tad personal.

A few sympathetic looks are shot the poor medic's way.

"Fuckin' spoiled's what you are, loser," Bakugou says, critically, scowling. "...The fuck won't they give you a second blanket?"

"Because children died in Hosu, apparently. Forget 'life', they're considering the death penalty, brat, of course they're not going to give me blankets."

The kid digests that.

Buries his hands a bit further in his pockets.

"Sucks. Got a lawyer?"

"Obviously, brat. Not that I need one. You don't need to be worried, if that's what that look is. Even without a lawyer, I'm not going to let them kill me."

"I ain't worried about shit, loser, and you better not. If you do, I'm gonna hunt you down in your next life and give you a kick in the shins hard enough to break your shitty legs."

Shigaraki snorts.

(Like it's not his death or dead kids being discussed here.)

(It's kind of disturbing, maybe just discomforting, how someone who's killed children can manage to look at another kid like Shigaraki is right now. It nearly makes him seem human, but what kind of human kills kids? What kind of human can snuff out hundreds of lives and then be peeved about being cold?)

(What kind of hero doesn't have a problem with this?)

This particular hero, apparently, because instead of saying things like 'do you feel bad' and 'you're a monster' like any normal person would, the kid just says, "You need a hand on your shitty legal fees?"

"I think your side would frown on you for paying for a villain's lawyer who was going to do their best to get them off scott free for murder, brat, if that's what you're thinking of doing."

"The fuck I am, it's called getting you a fair trial, loser, and they'll be fine with it. Dumb fucks won't even kill 16-day-old mud, they ain't gonna see shit wrong with helping a whole-ass human being not die. Shitty extras in society might, but who gives a fuck what they think?"

"...Mud?" there's an odd note in the villain's voice. "...They're keeping it?"

"Hats, fucker, shut up about it."

"...Your side sucks, brat."

"They don't suck, loser," the kid flashes back, glaring. "Just cuz some of them like it better doesn't mean all my side sucks. Doesn't even mean the ones that do suck, just means they give a shit about something that ain't me, it's normal, it's life, it's fucking fine, it ain't like I own them, and it ain't like I give a shit about half of them either. I know why it's winning, and I could compete with it if I wanted to, I could 'nice' the fuckers into next week and leave its Uno-loving ass in the trash. I just ain't gonna change and climb the decent human being scale to compete with mud when I'm already fucking fine."

"You are fine, brat. It doesn't need emphasis, it's a fact. Facts do not need emphasis, you are fine."

Bakugou shifts slightly.

"I just said that, didn't I? I know I am."

There's an annoyed light in Shigaraki's eyes, and a sharp edge in his voice. "You emphasised it, brat. You made it sound like it was a question and it's not. Has anyone told you well done yet?"

The kid scowls doubtfully.

"...The fuck?"

"Has anyone told you well done. I'm going to Tartarus tomorrow, brat. Even if I escape I don't have your number to reach you. I need to know if I need to worry about you after I go, because you aren't being very reassuring right now."

The doubtful look morphs into a glare.

"'m fucking fine, loser, you're the one with the maybe-death-penalty hanging over your head, worry about your own ass."

"I can multitask, brat, I'm going to be running the world one day, I can handle worrying about two people. In deference to hats, I won't spell it out, but I need to know: Has anyone told you well done for the obvious?"

"You're gonna be spending 10 years in jail getting therapy and getting taught how to get an actual job, loser. You ain't gonna be running shit."

"So they haven't."

"Fuck you're being a bitch about this, who gives a shit if they have or haven't?"

"I do, brat. You did well and when you do well other people are supposed to tell you so. It's called 'validation,' it's not a new idea or a novel concept, and you, annoyingly, don't seem to be getting any."

"The fuck it is, that's called 'being a sappy shit'."

"It's not called 'being a sappy shit', brat, it's an effort-free and expense-free way to show somebody that you value them and that they matter to you."

Worryingly, Bakugou snorts skeptically.

"The fuck it is, loser. Here's how praise works, 'kay? In Life, there's a fucking curve, and 0% is 'where the fuck did we go wrong' and 100% is 'you're where we want you to be'. The point of shit like 'well done' is to make you get closer to 100% cuz you ain't fucking there yet. You gotta be a murderer before you're praised for not killing someone, you gotta be a thief before you're praised for not stealing, and you gotta be a failure before you're praised for not failing, it ain't a hard concept. If you never fail you ain't gonna get praise that isn't just to get on your good side or flattery, it's shit but it's life, loser, it's the trade-off you get for being born A+."

"Clearly that isn't how life works, brat. I don't expect you to do shit, but that doesn't stop me from telling you you do well. Sensei doesn't expect me to do shit either, and he still tells me I do well, too."

"Yeah, well, you're a shitty villain who doesn't get how life works so of course you're fucking weird. And your shitty Sensei probably gets the scale rule fine, he's just got his axes backwards, you probably got told well done for stealing shit and stepping on worms and stabbing All Might cuz 0% ain't where you are but that's where your shitty Sensei probably wants you to be."

"I don't only get praised for being horrible, brat. I get praised for good things, too. Sensei used to say 'well done' for drawing pictures of people stabbing All Might when I was seven. He used to stick those up on the fridge. He tells me well done even when my recruitment efforts don't go well because Sensei has faith I'll do better next time because he believes in me, and he tells me well done for finding better monitors and GPUs online so that we can stea-- Shut up and stop gloating, brat. There were other things, too. He used to tell me well done for submitting my schoolwork to Kurogiri on time and for brushing my teeth, and he used to tell me well done for coming to him when I had nightmares, too, because how else was he going to know when he needed to do things like hug me and tell me bedtime stories?"

The kid's nose wrinkles dubiously.

"...So he's like your evil dad?"

Shigaraki's eye ticks.

"Yes, brat, he's my 'evil dad.' That isn't the point, though. The point is that when you do things well other people are supposed to tell you so because how else are going to know if you've done well or not? And anyway, you enjoy praise. It isn't 'shit but life', brat, not telling you you did well just because you're expected to do well is just another way of saying they don't value you and they are taking you for granted."

(Hear hear, thinks more than one member of the police.)

(Look, he's a villain, but it's not like 'well done' would be hard for their higher-ups to say, either.)

(The police may be a tiny bit more invested than they should be in all this but it's not their fault that it's more interesting than data entry.)

"They're a school, not a family, loser," Bakugou scoffs, "They ain't being paid to 'value' us, they're being paid to teach us how to kick ass and survive when we don't have backup so that when we fight villains who aren't as shit at 'evil' as you are, we don't fucking die. They're the fucking best and they do that shit A+, and if they didn't, we'd both be dead right now so be fucking grateful. They got 20 students, 8 hours in the day, and each teacher sees us for 1 hour max per day except Sensei, who sees us for maybe 2-3. That gives 'em ~3 minutes to spend on each student per day, ~6-9 for Sensei. That ain't even time to explain why you got a fucking 'B' instead of an 'A' on your essay, they ain't gonna spend time stroking one kid's ego unless that kid's having a breakdown, not when they could be taking that 3-9 minutes and making it 6-18 minutes get it through some other kid's thick head that they need to do shit like not explode their bones. ROI, loser. Time is money, you invest it cuz you want results, you don't invest it to make the thing you're investing it in feel good, it's fucking common sense."

"I don't give a shit about your classmates, brat. Just because they suck doesn't mean your three minutes get to be taken from you, and you being happy is an ROI. Egos are like cats, stroking them isn't a waste of time, they're meant to be stroked because they enjoy it and if you like someone and value them then them enjoying something means you feel happy, too. You don't ignore cats if you have pet cats. If you do, they do things like rub against your legs and stare at you. The strays Kurogiri feeds do both and they also attack his feet and claw holes in his shoes if he gets in range when he's busy and hasn't had time to feed them. You wouldn't starve a real cat, and you shouldn't wait until your ego is starving to feed it, either."

The kid side-eyes him.

"I ain't got a shitty cat living in my brain, and I ain't gonna scratch up someone's shoes if I don't get praised," the kid huffs.

"It scratches up your shoes, brat. I killed my family so I know. It scratches your chest, it keeps you awake, and it makes you do things like wonder whether you deserve to do things like eat or sleep in the first place because if you did surely somebody else would think so and tell you so, instead of watching you starve or ignoring you altogether."

"You were five, fucker, and it was a quirk accident. Of course you deserve to eat and sleep."

"Stop making it about me, brat. This isn't about me, this is about you. Praise is like birthday presents. It's free, we like it, and it's not something to be embarrassed about wanting or giving, provided you don't mind the person you're giving it to knowing you like them. You do it to show someone you give a shit about them, and if I hadn't already missed your birthday by four months and you weren't going to turn your nose up at theft I would steal you something for that, too, because you are my future lieutenant and I value you. You aren't even on my side yet and I value you. Obviously they should value you because they are the ones you chose."

The kid's very quiet.

There's an odd note in his voice when he finally speaks.

"You're a fucking pro villain, loser, you're nuking your rep with this sappy shit."

"You're worth being sappy for, brat. You're even worth nuking my rep for. If your side can't see that, they should. I have more than 3 minutes in my day for you, and as your senpai, I am telling you that you are fine, you did well, and you don't need to compete against mud to win against it. And if any of your side can't see that fact, then those members of your side suck."

(Should they be noting any of this down?)

(Nobody understands even half of what's being said, but that kind of all sounds like nice things the serial killer's saying to the kid, and for a normally mouthy kid, he's being far too quiet.)

Shigaraki keeps staring at the kid.

The kid holds his gaze for a little while, and then switches to glaring at the floor.

There's a longish kind of silence.

It's the kid who breaks it, sounding slightly tense, still glaring down at his feet.

"MightyBombingKing23."

Shigaraki's brows twitch together.

"...?"

"My handle, loser. You're gonna be transferred to Tartarus tomorrow, yeah? You got an OK brain aside from your shit planning skills and shittier dreams, so remember it. UA's gonna be a bitch about me visiting you in person cuz they think I'm fucking traumatized and hiding shit or something, but if they let you play games in there, you can ping me, and when I don't have training I will do group dungeons with your shitty-ass non-meta characters online. If your lawyer falls through, you can ping me, too. My old hag knows a few who are shit human beings that she sourced back in middle school when she was worried I'd kill someone or go villain; can get their numbers for you when I see her if you need 'em."

There's kind of a pause.

Shigaraki's looking at the kid like the kid's just given him the latest MightPhone.

The kid's looking kinda sullen, kinda glare-y, but also weirdly like their kids (who buy piercings and swear they like Stain and don't want their parents to drop them off at school, that's not cool) do when they sullenly say there's a recital on and are Mom and Dad going or do they have work again?

It's kind of disturbing, kind of endearing, and fuck, is that with spaces? Without? Should they be recording this? Or would that be somehow weirdly intrusive given the villain's apparently got a tragic backstory and is looking less and less creepy the longer he keeps staring at that kid instead of at them because it's pretty apparent that he actually likes the kid?

It's only a few seconds that either look lasts.

Then Shigaraki shifts, the kid goes back to glaring, and the moment is gone.

"...23 other people wanted that username, brat?"

The kid glares at him.

"Shut the fuck up, 'AllMightNeedsToDie' fuckin' no digits and no competition, I was eight."

Later, well after the kid's gone-- (which is seven, not six, since nobody is going to make the kid go; it's been universally agreed that the 'villain material' note on the kid's report is bullshit (they note that, too, in politer language) and they also note that there are some serious extenuating circumstances re. Shigaraki, too (like accidentally killing his family when he was 5, no wonder he went evil, how would anyone be able to live with that? Why isn't that kind of info in his file?)-- Shigaraki still hasn't retreated back into the corner of his cell.

Most of the wary tension is back, and it's pretty clear he'd bite anyone who tried to take the food stash the kid buys him from the vending machine before he goes, but he's not telling them all he's going to kill them so they decide that's a plus.

(Maybe it's the worms being gone? Or not being hungry? They're all either pop-bottle liquids you can open with your teeth or foods you can manage without chopsticks that the kid's bought, and the villain's eating them and not throwing them.)

"Is the brat going to get in trouble for this?" Shigaraki asks them around 10 p.m.

Which part, the police wonder.

Telling villains he'll play video games with them while they're in jail?

Deworming someone?

Buying them overpriced vending machine food?

Technically speaking, none of those things are illegal, but if their kids tried them with a villain, even a nice villain, their kids would be being grounded for two months because they'd be worried.

"I mean, probably?" one officer guesses, summarizing the general feeling in the room. "If it gets out? I mean, you kidnapped him, and you are a serial killer, right?"

"Of course I am," Shigaraki snaps. "I am going to end Hero Society and head the New Revolution."

More than one officer sighs.

It's true, they know it is, the staff taking the weekend off are proof of that, just--

Well. As one officer puts it later, he's not a bad kid, murder aside, and it's just a fucking shame.

(Shigaraki tells them he'll murder all of them and their families if they file the kid's visit as anything more detailed than just 'entered/exited'.)

Nobody's 100% sure anymore he would. They do what he wants regarding the kid's visit anyway, though, because he's still a bit creepy and they're also not sure he won't. (That's their excuse, anyway, and they're sticking to it. If they also don't happen to want to see either of the two get in trouble, that's not something they're about to include in their reports.)

They also give Shigaraki a second blanket and a pillow because if the kid can handle being misjudged as a possible villain and take it philosophically, they can handle being misjudged as a villain B&B. Everyone here is a professional, they are going to tick off those boxes like All Might would, nobody is being outdone by a villain or a 16-year-old kid.

(That's their excuse, anyway, and they're sticking to that, too.)

Chapter Text

Int. Train - Evening - 7:34 PM

It's 15 mins into the trip back to Musutafu and Katsuki already ain't looking forward to getting back to UA.

He has two missed calls from Sensei due to shit reception in that country station; the police tested him, therefore this visit is in the system; therefore Katsuki, who may or may not have strongly implied he was visiting his parents and not Hands when he got All Might to sign that permission slip and who definitely ain't calling back Sensei now to explain himself, is fucked.

Ah well.

He'd do it again, it's not like he regrets his life choices (and if they'd let him visit the loser-- maybe even brought it up themselves; Katsuki hasn't exactly been hiding that he's concerned about how the System's treating him-- it wouldn't've been an issue he snuck out without checking, would it? Clearly the police didn't have shit like those worms covered, they didn't even have two blankets covered, so it's not like Katsuki made the wrong call even if they don't agree with him.)

It probably won't be anything too bad. UA talk big, but they're pretty soft when it comes to punishments. Sports Festival's been about the only thing they've done so far that sucked, and that was more about entertaining the crowds and showing they were boss than about making things suck for Katsuki solely cuz they hate him or anything. Hopefully it'll just be an essay on shit judgement or something that they'll decide on here, and he can write it, turn it in, and forget about it.

Meantime, it's dead time training-wise, so that makes it a good time to think about how the fuck he's going to handle next semester.

(Fuck, though, does he wanna think about next semester? That's the question. Cuz there's a part of him that doesn't. A dumb, probably-compromised part of him that just wants to sit here feeling his brain fuckin' purring, and just think about how it felt to be looked at like he made someone's day better instead of worse by turning up in it without needing to pretend to be someone he's not. Like he's already a diamond they'd pay for instead of just a shitty diamond in the rough that needs a lot of polishing and cutting before it's saleable.)

Fuckin' instincts.

Fuckin' manky brain cat.

The fuck's it being like this anyway?

The fuck's it turning it's nose up at Katsuki's 'I'm fine' like it's grade D dried cat food and purring over Hands' like it's fuckin' sardines? Should be fuckin' obese the amount of times Katsuki's told himself 'I'm fine' since the whole SMI, why the fuck's it acting like he starves it?

(Fuckin' manipulative furball. It's probably one of those fat, huge, beady-eyed shits who gets fed plenty but still eyes off the neighbouring cats' food bowls anyway like they belong to it and kills their birds, and no matter how much it was fed or who fed it, it'd still be a bitch and purr like this cuz it's probably just as shit as Katsuki is.)

The fuck do you stroke it anyway?

Katsuki doesn't have a clue.

Not by thinking 'I'm fine', apparently, cuz he doesn't feel this weird, purring feeling warming his brain when he thinks that. When he thinks that, he usually just feels a bit empty and angry and cold.

Katsuki's not asking Sensei.

Even if Sensei's a cat person, Katsuki's not asking him this.

These words are Katsuki's words, he ain't sharing 'em or telling them to other people. They're like a little heat lamp in his heart, warming up the bits that kind of froze yesterday, or maybe earlier than yesterday, and Katsuki doesn't wanna be told that they're probably just lies being said to manipulate him or something. (They're fucking not, Hands is shit at bluff, Katsuki knows, and so people saying that will just make him mad.)

You did well, and when you do well other people are supposed to tell you so.

You are fine, brat. It doesn't need emphasis, it's a fact. Facts do not need emphasis, you are fine.

You're worth being sappy for, brat.

You're even worth nuking my rep for.

I value you.

(And there's the fluffball fucking purring again.)

How the fuck does the loser say that shit with a straight face without dying from embarrassment, anyway? Katsuki can be impressed-- reluctantly-- that it's apparently possible to be a badass with a decent stat sheet and a respectable skillset and still say that shit, but he can't imagine saying that shit outright himself, ever. Even the old hag and the old man don't get 'I value you' or 'you're A+' from Katsuki and they're his parents. Hands ain't even related to Katsuki, why the fuck doesn't the loser's throat close up and choke when he thinks about sayin' that shit to anyone with a straight face, let alone while looking at 'em like that?

Like fuck is this a thing you say cuz you're someone's (future) evil Senpai. How the fuck's that evil? Fuckin' soft's what that is, and that's a bitch move cuz Katsuki hasn't got a default, a reference point, for how to deal with 'soft'. Nobody does it so he's never had to think about it. Katsuki's a shit person and soft people pick better friends to be around-- people who don't kick 'em in the shins, for example, cuz why would you hang around Katsuki when you could be hanging around someone like Shitty-hair or Ponytail or Raccoon-eyes who's actually nice?

Doesn't suck though.

That's the rub-- it doesn't suck.

It's soft as fuck, embarrassing as shit, Deku's never hearing about this ever, but it doesn't suck.

Just, Katsuki's got no idea what the fuck you say to that shit when someone means it or how the fuck you keep your own rep intact while still conveying the fact that even if it's weird, you don't actually mind this cringy shit or the soft stroking and free sardines being handed out to the manipulative furball in your brain. Sharing his handle seemed to work; seemed to be enough and obviously facilitates future episodes of whatever this weird feeling is, cuz Katsuki thinks ahead.

It's still weird, though, even if it's not a bad weird, and Katsuki's got no idea why Hands is investing his time into doing it.

(Except he does cuz the fucking bitch ain't giving him even an inch of room to take this as anything other than the soft shit it is, and fucking told him outright it's cuz Hands likes him and values him and gets enjoyment outta seeing Katsuki feeling like this instead of feeling like shit and is therefore doing it as both an evil Senpai who wants his Kohai to feel better and as a selfish fucker in it for the second-hand kickbacks and what the fuck's Katsuki supposed to do with that, either?)

(Burry it six foot under?)

(Work out how the fuck you reciprocate that shit?)

(Just fuckin' enjoy it while it lasts cuz it's like glycerine over a burn right now and he's a selfish bitch, too?)

Whatever.

He'll work out what to do about it later.

For now, it's enough that it doesn't suck, that's the extent of sappy shit Katsuki can manage for now:

This weird, warm feeling he's got now and wouldn't mind more of doesn't suck.

Wouldn't suck even if Hands was saying it in some shitty abandoned warehouse or something.

In jail, with a death sentence hanging over his shitty, matted head, still thinking the non-existent feelings Katsuki shouldn't be feeling and therefore isn't are the priority? When Katsuki's the one who's gonna be ¥5 million richer tomorrow for putting him there?

Hands' judgment's shit, that ain't news, but it's basically just cemented what Katsuki already knew anyway, which is that there's no way the loser's getting the death sentence. Who gives a fuck if he apparently ticks off the boxes for deserving it? Katsuki didn't lug his delirious ass around nearly a week in that sewer just to let him get injected or zapped to death, that ain't happening. The loser's a tough shit who probably knows more shitty people than Katsuki does so Katsuki'll trust he indeed knows a shit lawyer who's got his ass covered just fine for now, but Katsuki'll keep an eye on things anyway. If shit goes south trial-wise, Katsuki has options. He's got a direct line to All Might and dirt on the HPSC.

If Katsuki can't utilize either of those resources to bring about a victory, Katsuki is a fucking failure.

(And Katsuki isn't. Katsuki will work with Deku before he fails, he's done it once, he can do it again, and even if All Might won't do shit for Katsuki, All Might will for the dumb nerd cuz Deku's his favourite. And Deku owes Katsuki for calling his shitty double 'Kacchan' 16 days, so if shit goes south, Katsuki will collect on that debt.)

So. Shit's sorted, Hands-wise.

(Kinda.)

(It's sorted as much as it can be for now, anyway.)

Now Katsuki needs to get a hold of himself, push his brain cat away from the heat lamp, and focus on shittier, but more immediate problems.

Specifically: What the fuck's he gonna do himself re. Class 1-A?

Does he get revenge? Or does he just chalk it up as a loss, get the fuck over it, and move on?

There's pros and cons.

Get even not mad is an OK motto; Katsuki enjoys blasting shit; obviously those are pros on the revenge side.

On the other hand, Katsuki isn't five or the boss of this class, Class 1-A are bitches about being blasted even if they do have the HP to take it and therefore shouldn't be, and final con, Shitty-hair isn't gonna feel a blast anyway with his quirk. If Katsuki can't make him them suffer what's the point? And if Sensei gets involved--

Well. There was a whole lecture on that shit last semester. Heroes aren't supposed to do revenge, Sensei doesn't want to see people doing that shit on his watch, on his watch they behave like professionals or they get grounded and he'll make 'em do boring shit like watch interviews of heroes who got sent to jail for going on revenge benders and write essays on morals. Katsuki's not wasting more training time on that shit.

So that's the revenge side.

For the 'getting the fuck over it' side, obviously there's the fact that he doesn't mind Class 1-A. 'S not just some lie he's telling himself to make himself feel better. They're mostly all right, some of them are creeps and/or wimps but the majority of them of them are tough fuckers with 60+ HP who would die to beat Class 1-B which basically is the important part. None of them are snitches or suck-ups, either. They know what they want, and most of 'em would die to get it. Katsuki can respect that.

He really doesn't hate them.

Katsuki doesn't give a shit about half of 'em, maybe, but aside from Deku's annoying ass it's not like them being within 10 feet of him and breathing annoys him, so long as they don't try to do shit like talk to him or touch him.

Sure, he's mad at most of them for picking mud over him, but if he considers this shit rationally, pretends it was a double of some other extra and not him, what else were they gonna do? They're all 10+ out of 20 niceness, they don't know how to be mean.

The haves give shit to the have-nots to create equality, it's how life works and it's how it should work no matter what Hands says cuz how else are the have-nots gonna get to have? If you've got a hundred yen to give away and A's got a million and B's got nothing, you don't give your 100 yen to A. Katsuki didn't ask not to have a terminal condition and he didn't ask to be real, but both of those things are just two more advantages he was born with, two more ways he's A+, so of course Class 1-A are gonna be nicer to the have-not cuz it's not fair Katsuki gets to be real and not be dying and get Shitty-hair as a friend.

You can have a lot, but you can't everything.

It's shit but it's life and what it basically means is revenge is out.

Katsuki's not gonna waste his time making other people's chests feel shitty even if they did start it and it would serve them right. That's whole hours of his day he'll need to spend thinking about them if he does that, and since he doesn't really hate them that ain't gonna make him feel better, it'll just be making things suck for both of 'em. Deku takes up enough time thinking mean shit about, Katsuki ain't got time to add 14 other names to the shitlist, not when he's just an afterthought to them anyway. He clearly ain't their number one, so why should they be his?

So. Revenge ain't the priority. Stopping his own chest from feeling like shit's the priority, and based on today, all he needs to do to do that is not think about 'em and not spend time with them till they stop mattering, cuz if he didn't give a shit about 'em, it wouldn't matter that they didn't pick him.

(If fuckin' Monoma had picked a clone've Katsuki over Katsuki, Katsuki'd be fuckin' laughing.)

(The fuck couldn't it have BFF'd him? Katsuki'd have shaken its hand and given it to the snake fucking gift-wrapped.)

Anyway.

Not the point.

Point is, Katsuki can do not thinking about shit he doesn't wanna.

He can do 'ignore.'

Even on Shitty-hair, Katsuki can do 'ignore'.

Who gives a shit if Shitty-hair sent him a kicked-puppy look like he was genuinely clueless why Katsuki ignored him this morning? Katsuki ain't alone in his corner of spite and horribleness. Hands says Shitty-hair sucks, too, so hah.

Katsuki is a shit person and proud of it, but what he also is is rational: you only get forgiven if you accept you're guilty and the probability of an intentional repeat offense is low, or if Katsuki likes you. (Route 2 is a small list.) Katsuki doesn't hate Shitty-hair, he's basically un-hatable, but he doesn't like him right now either and the probability of a repeat offence is high cuz Shitty-hair 1) doesn't see what he did wrong, and 2) doesn't actually like Katsuki, he likes anything that looks like him and acts like him and he likes it better the nicer it is and the more it needs him, and that sucks because Katsuki had kind of assumed--

Anyway. Point is, Katsuki's not gonna think about him cuz that feels like shit and so does hanging out with him. Katsuki didn't need him for 25 days in that sewer/road trip. Katsuki doesn't need him now, either. Katsuki's a selfish bitch who doesn't do things that makes him feel like shit unless he's being graded on it or unless someone chains him up and makes him. Maybe Class 1-A are used to dumb people like Deku who like hanging out with people who make them feel like shit, but Katsuki isn't dumb like Deku is. He doesn't have shit judgement. It's not like he kicks his brain cat around even if he doesn't feed it as much as it apparently wants to be fed, why the fuck would he do that to himself?

Not like he likes coming second. Watching that whole scene unfold was like biting into a chocolate cake only to find it was made of shit.

So, the path forward's looking pretty clear.

Katsuki's got the bare bones of his plan sorted.

Obviously, Katsuki isn't gonna tell Shitty-hair or anyone else in Class 1-A why he's doing it.

1. Katsuki has a rep. Sticks and stones. He's doing it cuz he's a petty bitch, not like losing a popularity contest with mud's gonna kill him.

2. He shouldn't need to say cuz they should already be able to see. It's not just in Katsuki's head; Hands can see too. Katsuki didn't say shit and Hands still knew cuz Hands is an evil Senpai and gives a shit about Katsuki, and if you give a shit about someone you notice when they're upset and you notice why. If they can't then they don't and so they aren't worth telling anyway. He wouldn't gain anything. He'd just sound fucking pathetic cuz while there's a 60% chance they would change shit if he said something, it'd just be to be nice. Be Deku on the log bridge all over again, them feeling sorry for him and thinking he can't make it out of ankle-deep water without them handholding him, not cuz they actually want him or would choose him if they had a choice, and so it'd still feel like shit.

Katsuki ain't anyone's pity project.

Katsuki's a have, not a have-not, and he's fucking got this.

Ignore the elementary school friends who cheated on tag and secretly ganged up behind your back to try to catch you cuz they hated that they never could? Only one who lost out was them cuz Katsuki never played tag with them or helped 'em with their homework again.

Ignore your two middle school BFFs/lackeys who left you for dead? Sucked a month or two, but Katsuki would barely feel a thing now if someone told him they'd both choked on those shitty cigarettes they used to smoke when he wasn't there to bitch at them not to, and were dead.

Katsuki doesn't even remember any of his ex-classmate's names.

The only person who's ever been immune to the 'ignoring' strategy is Deku cuz Deku's an annoying little shit and he's like a fucking pebble that thinks it lives in Katsuki's shoe or one of those shitty grass seeds you pick up if you go jogging somewhere that doesn't mow that only goes into your socks one way and just wants to keep poking into your foot instead of being pulled out and thrown somewhere it might actually grow.

No way Class 1-A are gonna be like Deku, though.

The Universe is a bitch, but it's not that much of a bitch.

Ignoring will work.

Not like it's hard to avoid 'em when you got a gym and you just have to shift your hours to sleep early and rise early to basically make your day overlap by only 2-3 hours with everyone else's outside of classes anyway.

Teachers won't step in.

Not like it's a crime to not hang out with people. (Sensei hates socializing too.)

Not like ignoring them hurts them. (Nobody's at UA to make friends.)

Not like it's gonna affect training. (It'll give Katsuki more time to train. Give them more time, too.)

Katsuki barely ever scored Shitty-hair in any training exercise even when he did want him in the party. Sensei's 'random' pair-ups always score Katsuki other extras or Deku. No reason for that to change now. Not like Katsuki's gonna blow up Shitty-hair; not like the thought of working with him about as appealing as swallowing glass or anything like it is with Deku, so it's not like Sensei's 'sadistic fuck' radar should be tripping.

He'd work with Shitty-hair if someone was gonna die if he didn't.

Anyway, that won't happen till they graduate and in three years Katsuki won't feel like shit about this so by then it won't be an issue.

In three years Katsuki'll be over it, and in the meantime, Katsuki will ignore them and train.

They win, they don't need to spend time with him, they clearly didn't want to anyway.

He wins because he doesn't feel like shit.

Plus Ultra.

Shit only touches you if you let it, yeah?

Plus Ultra.

Katsuki ain't gonna let it.

Katsuki's fine.

(Without emphasis, just for Hands.)

He's fucking fine.

Pissed, maybe, but fine.

Not like he's gonna have no one just cuz he ditches Class 1-A.

Not like he's gonna ditch all of Class 1-A anyway. He'll work with 'em when he's being graded on it, and he'll talk to the ones who didn't pick mud over him, as long as nobody who did pick mud's part of the conversation.

Who gives a shit if they still wanna be friends?

Friends is a two-way street whatever Deku thinks and Katsuki doesn't be friends with anyone he doesn't want to.

Katsuki can even not be friends with people he does want to.

Ignoring your friends stops sucking eventually. 'S not like he's exploding the path of friendship/acquaintance-ship and leaving a fucking scar, Katsuki's got a bit more finesse than he did back in elementary school. He's just gonna let the weeds grow up nice and thick and green till there ain't a path there's just some pretty scenery and then he'll be able to admire it and stop thinking about what's on the other side of that forest.

They get to do what they want; so does he.

Fair's fair.

Fair's fucking fair, and anyone who disagrees can eat shit and die.

So. Katsuki has a plan.

He knows what he's gonna do.

It's a simple, good plan, and it's going to go A+.

But because Class 1-A are annoying (even if they aren't as annoying as Deku), for it to go A+, it needs some props and those props are being bought today at the rare few shops that open late on Sundays cuz Katsuki's still not sure how much of a bitch Sensei's gonna be about him visiting Hands today and it's possible no more permission slips to let Katsuki go out are gonna be signed for a while.

The first stop: The music shop for some headphones. Nice, obvious (but still stylish) ones that won't fall off even if he jogs in them, and that can't be missed. Katsuki will take them out for class, and he'll take them out for sleeping, and he'll turn off his music if it's Ponytail or Frog-face talking to him, maybe Icyhot (in case he's finally offering that grudge match Katsuki wants) and maybe Deku (cuz Deku's a bitch about being ignored, the nerd's not above doing shit like grabbing Katsuki's arm or pulling earbuds out, annoying little shit.)

But at all other times, for all other classmates, they will be in as a nice, giant, unmistakable 'fuck off'.

The second stop: Manga shop. Katsuki spends 90% of his awake time training, and he's still going to do that, but he's going to spend the other 10% reading manga or playing video games with Hands. They've been having fun without him. Katsuki's gonna rub it in that he doesn't need them to have fun, either. He's not gonna ignore them and be miserable, he's gonna ignore them and not miss them one bit.

Third stop: Clothes store. Katsuki doesn't have a lot of those; therefore, all Katsuki's clothes have definitely, over the past 16 days, been worn by his shitty double.

It can take the lot, Katsuki'll bag it up neatly and get the rat to send 'em to wherever it is, cuz Katsuki doesn't fucking share. He doesn't share his eyeliner, either, only he gets to use that, so he gets himself another lot of that, too. Toothbrush, too. Shoes.

Everything it touched, it can keep.

Fourth stop. A lock for his door. A simple bar one you just lock from the inside.

Nobody gets to come into Katsuki's room while he's in it.

Deku'd guess a code or swipe Katsuki's prints off a glass in a heartbeat if Katsuki got one of the biometric ones, but even Deku's gonna stuggle bluffing off how he managed to accidentally break a whole-ass door down.

Katsuki packs it neatly in his backpack, buys himself some curry to eat while he waits for the next train, and he feels better once all that's done.

Feels a bit less like shit.

Bit more in control.

Who gives a shit he's got a fucking test tomorrow and he ain't had enough time this morning to perfect even one Ultimate in the 7 hours he practiced?

Who gives a shit Class 1-A kept looking at each other and exchanging looks that say they're comparing Katsuki with his shitty double who knows three Ultimates and want to give him pointers and aren't, and that they're wishing Katsuki'd made it back 3 days later so they coulda had it instead of him with them cuz it wouldn't be a liability tomorrow?

Who gives a shit that Monoma's a fucking snake and all of Class 1-A are gonna need to pass tomorrow if they wanna beat Class 1-B, cuz that bitch runs a tight ship and isn't gonna let anyone fail?

Not Katsuki that's who.

He's not gonna be a liability tomorrow.

Katsuki doesn't need an Ultimate to grind them into the dust.

He's not the only one without one.

What's Deku's Ultimate? Fuckin' nothing, the nerd's gone and sustained permanent damage on his arms (saving a 6-year-old, the Internet says, cuz of course he did, Deku likes pain and he probably found that brat just as cute for kicking him in the balls as Katsuki did), now uses his feet, and has cheated and got a support item that All Might still thinks he's cool for using. (All Might's as biased as Hands is, and Deku's brain cat's probably purring.)

Katsuki doesn't need All Might's praise though, so that doesn't matter.

What Katsuki does need to do is focus and pass tomorrow. He knows can cuz Sensei wouldn't let him take part if he couldn't. But on the other hand, the tests are different each year so Katsuki's not sure what to expect.

Ah well.

Whatever it is, he'll ace it.

Katsuki might be a month behind but he still ain't dead last in class, and at least he's not relying on some shit support item instead of actually training up an Ultimate, so take that, Deku.

Katsuki's fine, he's fucking got this and tomorrow every other school and Class 1-B are gonna be definitely and absolutely ground into the dust.

Stamped, signed off, and done.

And now that that's all sorted, he'll be nice and let his brain cat back near the heat lamp cuz he's got 20 minutes of freedom till he gets back to UA and he might as well enjoy 'em before his ass gets handed to him by Sensei.

You did well.

You are fine.

I value you.

Katsuki settles himself a bit more comfortably into the shitty seat.

Maybe relaxes a bit, and glares at nothing to make up for it just in case any shitty extras watching think he's soft.

(If he replayed those over, what the odds he can make up a monologue for himself to sleep to?

He'll find out tonight, Katsuki guesses. Katsuki needs sleep fuckin' yesterday, he's gonna give it a fighting shot.)

Chapter Text

Aizawa is not a man who enjoys talking. Nevertheless, when a student goes through what Bakugou did, it is his job to talk to them, and it’s clear-- given the fact that one of his most promising students has, according to a text from a helpful HPSC recon unit monitoring the station site for villain rescue activity-- visited a villain who Aizawa already knows is disturbingly attached to the hero, and given that the kid has ignored two phone calls so far, that he should have done it sooner.

It’s not so much the visit that’s the problem.

That is a problem, too, given that Shigaraki has genuinely tried to kill the kid in the past and left two of his classmates in a coma the night the League kidnapped him.

The bigger problem, though, is that whatever reason Bakugou had for doing it, it’s clear it’s not one the kid thinks he can tell him. Aizawa is a hero and Bakugou is a hero, too. It’s worrying if he thinks he can’t be honest, and it’s clear from the resentful way he’s glaring at the floor in front of Aizawa now that the kid knows exactly what he did wrong and is expecting to get an earful. (That’s worrying, too. The kid’s yet to explain his side to Aizawa even once; clearly, Aizawa is doing something wrong if the kid already assumes it won’t be his side in this that Aizawa takes. The kid's in his class, and Aizawa is his homeroom teacher. Even if Aizawa doesn’t support whatever reason the kid had for doing this, it shouldn’t be a foregone conclusion that he won’t.)

Aizawa waits maybe another five minutes for the kid to offer him something.

The kid glares sullenly at the floor.

(It’s clear Aizawa’s going to have to do Talking this evening. Aizawa wishes Hizashi was here for moral support because Hizashi is better at talking than Aizawa is.)

“Bakugou--” Aizawa starts, and wonders where, rationally, to go next.

Why is Bakugou worrying him like this?

Why isn’t the kid talking to him?

Why do those look like new clothes and new shoes the kid's wearing? Aizawa hasn't seen the kid wear new clothes in the whole 4 months since he came to UA, Bakugou is the type of kid who sews up his socks if he gets a hole in them instead of buying new ones.

Aizawa picks none of those.

Aizawa goes with the rational option instead.

“I am not going to go over the obvious; we both know why you are here and where you went today. Bakugou, is Shigaraki threatening you?”

It's unlikely, given the villain's behaviour during his capture, but if he is, Aizawa needs to know. (It would account for this. It's something the kid should also be telling them without needing to be asked, but Bakugou wouldn't be the first hero who didn't think he could go to other people for help about this kind of thing.)

Reassuringly, though, the kid's brow scrunches up like he's genuinely confused by the idea.

“Hands? He’s fine, Sensei. The loser’s fine, he ain’t threatening me or whatever, you fuckin’ saw him when you found us. If he was trying that shit I wouldn't be deworming him, I'd be fucking flattening him.”

Aizawa did indeed see. That is 40% of the problem. And he could ask why Bakugou is visiting villains when they aren’t threatening him, but it would be rhetorical because 1) the kid's just told him more or less why he visited, and 2) Aizawa has read through the kid’s reports, and while they’re detailed and precise, it’s the bits that are deliberately glossed over that stand out most. (The kid notes that Shigaraki spent nearly 1 week delirious and that it was hard to keep his wounds clean due to the environment. (The kid advises a residual check for bacterial infection.) The report notes that later, they took it in turns to keep watch; that the only food source for 19 days was skinned rats and whatever could be scavenged from rubbish swept away down the drains. The kid notes that there were no light sources down there, and advises that an engineer should add some. Maybe an emergency site map or an SOS button periodically.)

Bakugou’s a good hero, but in terms of saving other people, he’s no Midoriya.

The kid’s nearly allergic to kindness. Yesterday is the first time Aizawa has seen him either accept or offer it.

So far as Aizawa knows, this is the first time the kid’s saved anyone who wasn’t a classmate, and it’s certainly the first time the kid was forced to look after an injured person.

There’ll be other times he’ll need to do it in his hero career-- times the police and rescue services are delayed; times where there are too many people who need help. Times when there isn’t time to wait for someone more qualified, and he just happens to be the only person who knows what to do on the scene.

Aizawa wants to tell the kid it’ll get easier not to dream about the people you could have saved but didn’t because you weren’t strong enough or fast enough, and to remember that you aren’t responsible for doing more than saving the people you do save; what they do with their lives after is not your responsibility or your fault.

But the truth is, it doesn't. Even if you never find out the names of the people you help, it never gets easier not caring about them, any more than it gets easier each year to not care about the students you teach or easier to attend their funerals when they come up against villains who are stronger or just smarter than they are and lose. There are still people who send Aizawa emails once or twice a year, even 5 years after being rescued from fires; from being mugged or murdered in back alleys; from being helped out of wrecked cars when Aizawa happened to be the only one at the scene. There are even people Aizawa writes back to. Aizawa keeps notes of memorial dates, and once a year, he visits the graves of every student he's ever taught who didn't make it.

(He doesn't want Bakugou to be one of them.)

“You aren’t--” Aizawa decides, slowly, “--in trouble, kid.”

Bakugou keeps glaring at him, but the kid’s hands clench and there’s a surprised, resentful flash in his eyes that tells Aizawa he’s on thin ice; the kid’s going to be sensitive about this. Sure enough:

“The fuck aren’t I in trouble, Sensei?" Bakugou says, semi-hostilely. "I know what I did. I knew you wouldn’t say yes when I did it or I would’ve asked.”

Which is a whole problem in and of itself.

“If you thought it was something I would not approve of, Bakugou, why did you do it?”

The kid’s gaze drops to the floor again.

(There’s dark shadows under the kid’s eyes; they stand out more in this light when his head’s tilted like that. Is the kid even sleeping?)

(Aizawa should have talked to him this morning.)

(Too late, though, to regret that now; it's just one more for the pile; there's nothing Aizawa can do to change it now.)

"You aren't in trouble, Bakugou, but I need to know why."

The kid scuffs a boot on the carpet.

"Why?" Aizawa presses, a third time.

"I don't know. Cuz he's a shit villain who doesn't know how to look after himself? He's basically two, he doesn't eat what you give him if he doesn't like you, he won't even drink fuckin' water unless he's dying cuz he's a paranoid bitch, and I knew he wouldn't like the police cuz the ones who interviewed me yesterday were shit."

"In what way?" Aizawa frowns.

"In a 'they looked like he was shit' when they talked about him way, fuck, Sensei, they were fine, they were just nice and felt sorry for me and I just didn't like 'em."

So they did their jobs well, basically, and worried about the people who were hurt, and found it hard to sympathize with the party responsible for hurting them.

Aizawa is a rational being, but he feels a spike of sympathy for the police.

"...It ain't a crime to give a shit if villains have worms or make sure they eat, Sensei."

And it's correct. Provided they're not free, provided you're not harboring a fugitive, it's not a crime.

But Bakugou is a kid, he's not doing it to just any villain, and Aizawa doesn't buy at all that general niceness is why the kid is doing this.

“It isn't a crime," Aizawa agrees. "But as your teacher, kid, I will need you to turn in a reflective essay on telling your homeroom teacher things even when you are not sure that they will approve. Especially when you are not sure they will approve. Not because you are in trouble, but because it's a lesson you clearly haven't learned in class, and it's a lesson I want you to keep in mind for the next 3 years. Keep it in mind, and do not forget it as soon as you turn it in."

Bakugou sends him a half-resentful look that says forgetting is exactly what the kid was planning on doing.

(It's probably still what he's planning on doing.)

"As a hero, however," Aizawa adds, taking advantage of the half-resentful look to hold it, "I am telling you: You don't need to hide things like this from me or UA in future. It’s normal to feel like this when you save someone. It’s normal to be attached, Bakugou. It happens to everyone, and it doesn’t matter if they are a hero or a villain or a civilian, you will still feel like it’s your job to care about them even when they aren’t in danger because you were the one who saved them.”

“That ain’t what it is,” the kid scowls, half-resentment morphing into a full-blown glare. “He ain’t a fucking pity project, that ain’t why he’s all right to be around. He’s just--”

(All right to be around.)

(Aizawa can feel a headache coming on; that isn't just 'deworming' or caring if somebody eats.)

Still. Little as it is, it’s the most the kid’s talked about this since yesterday.

Aizawa waits, waits some more, and eventually, Bakugou continues.

“It's just it’s a fucking waste, that's all. He’s all right, Sensei. I ain’t just saying it cuz I saved him or cuz he’s a fuckin’ yandere pointing the 'dere' part at me. I know he's a villain. But he’s got a tragic backstory and he ain't met a decent person in his life since he was five when his shitty evil dad saved him cuz he ain't even been allowed to go to school. He ain't been allowed out to meet people or have friends, he thinks quirks work by feelings that's how homeschooled he is, he thinks I'm a decent person, that's how shit the people are he knows."

Should Aizawa be worried the kid's strongly implying he thinks he's not a decent person?

The kid has some work to do, personality-wise-- Aizawa isn't a fan of the kid's treatment of Midoriya, for a start.

Even so. Aizawa knows plenty of heroes who are worse people.

You don't need to be a good person to save people.

"I know it's fucked, but in his weird, messed-up way he's not actually shit," Bakugou continues, burying his hands deeper in his pockets like they're enemies who are going to betray him. "He thinks orphans shouldn't starve and five-year-olds shouldn't be beaten like he was; thinks he was saving me, too, by kidnapping me, cuz he didn’t like the Sports Festival cuz he doesn’t get that shit like that’s just life. He’s shit at execution, he ain’t got a clue how real life works, he’d probably set an egg on fire if he tried cooking it, but he doesn’t suck as a human being. I ain’t trying to own his life just cuz I saved it, he's a tough shit he doesn't need me to look after him, and it ain’t like I’m gonna take him up on his shitty job offer just cuz I don't mind him. I called it in, didn’t I? I called it in and I'd call it in again, it ain’t like I like him killing shitty extras. Even he doesn't, the fucker mopes about accidentally nuking walls when he loses his temper, he's just got a trigger temper like the old hag and when shit sets him off he doesn't think. But he’s in jail, I ain’t letting it interfere with my job, so why the fuck can’t I just like hanging out with him when he isn’t? Least he wants me around and doesn’t think mud’s better than I am.”

The last part’s barely more than a mumble, and where does he begin to start unpacking this, Aizawa wonders.

The villain isn’t completely wrong that that awards ceremony was messed up?

People Bakugou does not know are not ‘shitty extras’?

Murderous yandere are basically the definition of sucking as human beings, tragic backstories or not, especially when they attack Aizawa’s class and try to murder his students twice? (And whether you can cook an egg or not has no relation to the matter at all?)

That while Aizawa is in agreement that if he was five, it shouldn't have happened (being beaten and starving shouldn't actually happen at any age), he isn't going to be the last villain out there Bakugou is likely to come across in his career who wouldn't have turned to villainy if the System hadn't failed, and just because the system did, it doesn't actually mean he gets a get out of jail free card for kidnapping and murder? There are plenty of people who have hard lives who don't turn to villainy.

That the clone’s existence, which is clearly bothering the kid-- while unfortunate, given the kid’s opinion wasn’t asked there-- isn’t actually any different to any other person’s right to exist that the kid doesn’t approve of? Nobody is agreeing it should have been created, but the fact is it was, and objectively, if something can think like a human and feel like a human and isn't a villain trying to kill Aizawa's students, then it should be treated like a human. Liking it isn’t a crime or something that means nobody likes Bakugou himself, and killing something merely because you are annoyed that it exists is, ethically, wrong.

All of the above, in sequential order?

9:04 PM, the clock says.

Aizawa reaches into a draw and extracts one of his personal, private stash of fruit drinks and offers it to the kid and takes one himself.

It’s going to be a long night.

It is a long night.

1. Bakugou refuses to accept the Sports Festival was not normal.
   
   The kid says maybe Aizawa doesn't get how shit works either cuz he also doesn't get out much, but when tickets are 2000 yen and there's 150,000 seats and there's broadcasting rights in addition to those, that's basically 600 million yen minimum riding on keeping that crowd happy. 120 Hands' worth of yen, in case Sensei's struggling with the math. (Aizawa is not struggling with the math). Maybe Sensei missed it, the disaster in front of him informs him helpfully, but that that crowd wanted to see Katsuki suffer cuz they hated how he won cuz it doesn't fit the narrative they want for their 5yo's watching to see if the shit people get to get what they want and be happy about it. Also, Bakugou basically said he wasn't gonna do what UA wanted when he said he didn't want that medal. He didn't ask nicely if he could not get it like Tail did, he told 'em he didn't want it, wasn't gonna accept it, and they couldn't make him. Obviously, they couldn't just take that lying down.
   
   Sure, Bakugou allows, it was shit, but All Might didn't pull the chains off or say Midnight was a bitch, he laughed at him. Sensei was right up there watching and didn't say shit. Sensei doesn't need to pretend it wasn't fine just cuz Hands is being a bitch about it now. It's not a contest in sappiness. All Might isn't messed up and Sensei doesn't let messed up shit happen right in front of him either. They're both level 100s who could have stepped in any time they wanted to, so the Awards Ceremony was fine. 'Sides, he did it to other kids in middle school too, he's not some bitch who can only give it and not take it.
   
   (Aizawa needs a drink, but what can he say, really? Most of what the kid's saying is true, if twisted; it was done for ratings, and Aizawa should have stopped it and didn't because by the time he found out what was happening the damage was done and Bakugou was already chained up on the podium. Aizawa hadn't seen a good way to resolve the issue. ("Unchain him now," would have made All Might and Midnight look like villains. It would also have made Bakugou look like a victim in need of rescue instead of just a very bad-tempered victor throwing a tantrum.) He'd told himself it was only five minutes of the kid's life, and even if it wasn't fair, it wouldn't kill him. Aizawa hadn't seen any sign after that the kid was traumatized or in need of being talked to about it. He just hadn't counted that being because the kid hadn't realized there was anything to move past, and not because the kid had. Discovering his own inaction is part of the reason the kid thinks it was fine he was hurt and hurt other people isn't a good feeling as a teacher or a hero.)
   
   
2. The kid concedes this is true, but what the fuck else is he gonna call the NPCs?
3. The kid insists that a 2-3 on the decent human being scale isn't that much below his 4, and he doesn't have any tragic backstory to excuse his low score, the only excuse he's got's genetics. (There is no such thing as a 'decent human being scale'. Even if there was, Bakugou would be higher than a 4.)
4. The kid agrees. It's why he's not going to help Hands break out of jail, Sensei doesn't need to worry he's a fucking professional.
5. The kid glares at the floor and asks Aizawa if he liked it better, too. (Aizawa has never felt so much like a parent being asked which kid is his favorite. These are not his kids. One of them isn't even human. In terms of personality they're more or less identical, and in terms of who Aizawa would pick to save if either were dying, it would obviously be the real Bakugou.)

"So basically, if you could only pick one of us," the kid presses, "you'd pick me?"

One does not, typically, force another human being to pick only one person that they like.

People are allowed to like more than one person.

Lots of people like hundreds of people, many like thousands, and they don't number them from 1-1000 in terms of most-to-least-favorite.

But yes, if Aizawa was forced to pick, he would, obviously, choose the real Bakugou. Not being willing to inflict needless violence on a sentient being isn't the same as saying he doesn't value a human over a very convincing replica of said human.

(It's only when the kid finally takes the fruit drink that Aizawa wonders if Bakugou's observations about Shigaraki's selective, two-year-old eating habits also apply to Bakugou himself.)

Aizawa is-- for unknown reasons-- apparently still liked. But if this is the kind of test the kid is setting him, who is just a teacher, the kid is definitely holding grudges against his classmates. He's petty enough and competitive enough for that, and Aizawa didn't miss the cold shoulder the kid gave his classmates this morning.

Aizawa sends him an unimpressed look.

Regardless of the tough time the kid's gone through, and regardless of how valid his right to be upset about being overlooked is, if problem child 2 thinks he's going to get away with being allowed to isolate himself and use his substantial payout to charter a private boat on the weekends so he can hang out in the Tartarus visiting unit with a villain who has no qualms whatsoever about killing sentient beings just because that villain likes him and he's feeling hurt, attached, and doesn't like people being nice to his clone (when that villain was the one who kidnapped him and is the leader of the side that caused this mess in the first place) the kid has another thing coming.

Until yesterday everyone thought that clone was him.

Nobody is choosing it over him, but if he keeps this up, some of them will. It will be a spiraling cycle of negative feeling, and it is not happening in Aizawa's class.

Aizawa's going to need to put some thought into group exercises, apparently.

(The ethics & lesson reviewal committee is going to kill Aizawa for the last minute revisions they'll need to approve, but Aizawa is suffering more as the one actually making them, and they are just going to have to deal.)

Chapter Text

In the too-long period of Dabi's life between being the sad, pathetic daddy's boy he once was, who did sad, soft things like worry about his siblings and set himself on fire for proud looks, and being the carefree villain he is today, who gives no fucks about anything except possibly sleep and his landlady yelling at him, Dabi has had to do unpleasant things like pay off his medical fees, find himself somewhere to live, and get a job. It's one of the downsides of accidentally setting yourself on fire training and then running away from home:

You learn All Might and the kid's movies you watched lied, nobody actually gives a shit about anybody else, no Totoros exist in the backstreets of Tokyo, and life-saving medical treatment isn't a thing people do for free.

Nobody saves anyone for free.

If you don't have a family to pay your bills for you, the hospitals shrug and bill you directly, and the admin don't give a shit if they gotta send debt collectors after a 14-year-old.

Dabi likes to think he wasn't a bad employee.

Bit skittish, maybe, the first year; spent a bit too long looking over his shoulder waiting for Daddy to drag him back and make him roast himself training again, and hit Mom, maybe Dabi, maybe Shouto, if Dabi didn't work hard enough or do well enough before it finally dawned on him Daddy wasn't even looking. (Daddy set up a cute little memorial in Dabi's old room without even bothering to find Dabi's body; even made a show of visiting it. Climbed closer than he's ever been before to passing All Might that year.)

("I'll remember the good times we had together, and I will continue being a hero to honour his memory. My son dreamed of being a hero, too. I know that's what he would have wanted for his family," the Endeavours Agency press release said.)

("What a strong dad," the forums had said. "What a good hero.")

At the time, Dabi thinks it had hurt.

Bit embarrassing, really, but then, Touya Todoroki was a weak little bitch.

Most days, Dabi prefers to pretend he never knew that guy.

Was a year or two more before he worked out Life ran at a slower pace than Daddy likes to and it wasn't that other people were lazy, Dabi just worked too hard; was a year or two more before Dabi started to ask himself questions like why he was stuck paying interest on loans for medical fees for treatment anyway just because a random couple happened to walk past Dabi oozing to death on the ground from where he accidentally set himself on fire training, and dumped him at a hospital instead of minding their business and walking on by. (Assholes. They wanted to save him, they shoulda paid, too, instead of dumping all the responsibility on Dabi's shoulders.)

All up, it was probably five before Dabi set fire to the workplace while his boss was inside it and took photos for posterity of the guy breaking his leg jumping out of the second story to escape the flames.

What can he say? He hated that guy.

(Giran found him not too long after; gave him a loan and a bit of direction; said he had potential and put him in contact with people who needed the odd job done. Dabi started off small, setting fire to places, threatening people, and then Dabi made a bit of a name for himself and graduated to shit like murder. Dabi owes a lot to Giran, really; he never pays late, and he never pays one yen more or less than what he promises, and he never rats you out. Dabi likes the smarmy asshole about as much as Dabi likes anyone.)

But the point is, once upon a time, before he worked out how to make a living out of hiring himself out as a freelance villain, Dabi was stuck working for other people.

Dabi's had some shit bosses over the years.

There are the bosses who don't pay you when they say they will, or who use things like the fact that you're a kid and aren't using your real name and don't have an ID card to pay you under the minimum wage.

There are the bosses who scream at you if you turn up a half hour late and who don't believe you when you tell them it's due to traffic.

There's the bosses who tell you there's a line of people out there waiting to take your job if you don't want it, they can fire you at any time because you're expendable.

There's the bosses who tell you that you're basically family and family exploit each other so you should take it as a compliment if they try to exploit you, too.

And finally, there's the bosses whose daddies bought into the company who don't know shit about how to run it and who play video games during working hours and do that while telling you you've got an easy job you should be working harder at because everybody here's working hard to support the company, they're not paying you to loaf.

The League of Villains isn't that much different from any other job.

Sure, Dabi's roasting heroes, petty villains, and the odd civilian instead of packing shelves or washing dishes, but the point is that between them, AFO and Clone Shigaraki have got most of the shit boss bases covered. Dabi knows they're getting funding, but most of that funding is going to nomu creation and not to Dabi, sadly, and so it's not like the pay's what it should be. AFO gets the concept of positive reinforcement, but he's only got time for Shigaraki, who doesn't do people unless Kurogiri's making him (so basically only team bonding night) and aside from that has only got time for monologues and video games and murder, so it's not like the League get compliments from up top.

No compliments; shit pay; 100% performance expected.

The summary of a shit company and a shit boss.

It's not like it's Dabi's fault he doesn't give a shit about his day job.

Nobody would.

Dabi's in it for the connections and the rep it gets him as well as the free gear the external funding gets him to enable his side hobby of destroying daddy, and basically, the less his bosses actually need to see him and/or do anything for them, the happier Dabi is about the fact that he's working for them.

The League themselves are a slightly different matter. They're no Stains, not even Spinner is a Stain aside from the odd kid he'll stop them from murdering (Magne calls the lizard a fuckin' softie, and Magne really isn't wrong), but nobody bitches at Dabi for smoking indoors and Mr. Compress always steals enough takeout for Dabi, too, when he swings by for monopoly night, and Himiko bombards him with group chat messages about things Dabi doesn't give a shit about which gives him something to bitch about, so they keep him amused. They all make him think for them, too; they worked out the night of the whole clone thing that Dabi will do this if they look at him expectantly enough, and the little shits abuse that fact like the villains they are. (They even make him sum up their monopoly money for them because it's faster than using the calculator on their phones, the lazy fucks.)

Dabi wouldn't die for any of them or anything-- Dabi's not dying until Daddy's crushed, Dabi's invested way too much of his life into that goal now to throw it away dying-- but he'd probably kill for them, even if he'd also probably kill most of them if he had to spend more than a day or two a week in the same room as them.

But basically, when AFO Warps them all to him mid-warehouse meeting (a thing he can do, albeit not long distance; Dabi makes a mental note to hop a plane or something if he ever wants to rage quit) and gives them a Reasons You Suck speech, Dabi's already familiar enough with how these things go to know what's coming, and he's already thinking up the rest of the LOV's excuses for them. (Any excuse will do, usually. Dabi's got an arsenal, all adaptable to the circumstances. His bosses used to call him in for Reasons You Suck speeches all the time, and they've ranged over the years from 'you're late' to 'you're smoking inside' to 'you didn't wash your coffee cup again', and even the odd 'you didn't wear your scarf again, your disfigured jaw is upsetting our customers', and Dabi's never been fired over sucking yet.)

He's got time to think.

AFO is a monologuer like his heir/student; he won't say something in 15 minutes if he can say it in 1 hour instead.

This villain version basically boils down to, just because AFO has been caught in a collapsed warehouse, lost 1/2 of his nomu, and is out cold for 3-to-4 hours, and doesn't usually communicate with Shigaraki except via monitors, it doesn't mean that's a good chance to replace his minion/kid/heir, and do they feel like explaining what happened there, or do they want to skip the explanation part and move straight onto being added to his nomu collection, because AFO is flexible.

Wow, what a swell guy.

You can really tell you're valued in this company.

Dabi promises no nomufication is necessary.

1. They only did it because they didn't know AFO had Warping. (Kinda on him for not telling them there.) (Truth.)

2. The League kinda thought AFO was on life support there and not able to do shit (also his fault for letting them think that), and they spent two hours looking and none of them could find their boss. It wasn't like they wrote him off just like that. They did what they could. (Kinda half truish if you squint hard.)

3. Nobody's dead till you find their body, and sometimes they aren't dead even then. The League had 100% faith their boss would find his way back to them; in the meantime, they kept his rep up, kept the League running, because they're good evil minions and they're all about furthering the cause of evil. You can't beat All Might without good minions. Look how USJ went. (Total bullshit.)

AFO stares at Dabi an unnervingly long time for an eyeless person.

Dabi stares lazily back, confident in his three-forked defence.

Confident, too-- as a seasoned employee of more than one company that's gone belly-up under a bad manager-- that really, it's their boss who's replaceable, not them. Clone Shigaraki hasn't done shit except kill or scare off the recruits Giran wastes hours of his week sending to him and play his precious video games and monologue about how much he hates All Might. He's all right to play games with when he doesn't destroy the board or try to murder you if he can't guess your mime in Charades, but as an employer? It's the rest of them out there spreading the rep. AFO's spoiled heir can't have a kingdom to enjoy without competent employees under him to help him run it, the guy doesn't even know how to work the washing machine.

AFO's a smart evil overlord.

Dabi's confident he'll see things Dabi's way.

And AFO does. Eventually, after making a show of grilling the League over it. It's a first-time offence; AFO lets them off with a warning. Next time they try it, he tells them, they'll be turned into nomu. And if Shigaraki gets back and happens to want it, they'll still be turned into nomu.

(Wow, what a way to inspire loyalty. You can really see how his empire held together all those centuries he actually ran shit. With a guy like that leading you, why wouldn't you die for him instead of run for the hills when All Might showed up to beat you up for being shit human beings?)

Shame Hawks is still giving Dabi the cold shoulder over the whole Bakugou thing.

Dabi misses having someone to drink with.

(Dabi hopes he'll get over it soon; the birdie hasn't been replying to his texts since yesterday.)

Meanwhile though, the League all agree, back in the warehouse after, obviously that does mean they'll need to check how their real boss is feeling. Preferably before he's free. Shigaraki's got a temper, and nobody wants to be turned into a nomu.

(Poor Twice is having a meltdown in the corner there; Himiko is patting his head. Mr. Compress is pouring himself and Magne a shochu, and Spinner-- selfish fuck-- is saying some days he's really glad Gecko is a shit quirk and therefore isn't actually tempting for making nomu out of.)

Dabi lights himself a cigarette.

Kinda sad, that he's already working out what he's going to say to his real boss when he visits him to make him happy with them.

These lazy fucks (i.e., the League sans Kurogiri + fake Shigaraki) have basically got him trained.

(Sans Kurogiri, because the warp gate-- also knocked out in the quake and therefore a bit in the dark there-- seems to be taking the whole tricked-by-a-clone thing personally and sans Shigaraki because AFO is getting him to write up any notes the real him needs to know before he gets squashed by a nomu. He's made Sensei proud but there can't be two of him, he's mud so he can't fulfill the Grand Vision of inheriting All For One, so sadly he needs to go, to make AFO proud of him, because that's what's going to make the League stronger.

He wants to make AFO proud, doesn't he?)

It's kind of fascinating to watch the fear morph into a kind of trusting acceptance there on their fake boss' face.

Dabi's not sure if it's pathetic or admirable that he actually nods.

He's not a likable person, not by any means (he's a shit boss who likes to assign Dabi missions way too early and bitch about it when Dabi pushes them back, and as previously mentioned, he's not careful with the company property) but Dabi'll admit to feeling a shred of (reluctant) empathy for any kid who'll kill themselves to make their dad happy, and who's been taught to believe that if they're not the chosen heir and/or Daddy doesn't give a shit about them anymore, there's no point to them being alive.

Sure, it's a clone, but its thought patterns mirror the original; if it thinks like this, it's because their real boss was taught to think that way, too.

Ah well.

Shit dads are universal, Dabi guesses.

If AFO's an option 4 shit dad/boss, that's not Dabi's problem.

Dabi's got his own problems. Dabi's only in this for Dabi.

Not like AFO's gonna do this to his real heir anyway.

(Maybe Dabi'll pay a bit more attention during Monopoly nights or something, though, when their real boss gets back.

Listen a bit more; tune him out a bit less.

Yes, it sucks that if he gets the chance he'll monopolize the conversation and talk a lot about D&M shit nobody wants to go into and that he tends to melt the board if he's losing or thinks the dice hate him. But, like, on the plus side, Twice will be able to create new boards again once one/both of the doubles are dead, so at least it won't cost anything. Not like Dabi gives a shit if the guy'd throw himself off a cliff just because Daddy told him to, but the guy should at least get to learn by observation/oversharing that other life choices (like throwing Daddy's dreams under the bus and being a lazy, unfilial bitch who pleases nobody but yourself) do actually exist.)

Where Shigaraki is isn't hard to locate.

Dabi really just has to look for the only police station within a 10-mile radius of the tower the call to AFO came through, which seems to be a small station in the middle of nowhere. There's a 50% chance it's being monitored so Dabi can't just waltz in there via car, obviously. Dabi needs an in and he needs an out which means Dabi needs to get back into Kurogiri's good books.

Luckily, Dabi happens to know that Kurogiri's got a soft spot for stray cats.

Dabi steals him a box of the All Might-branded cat food that is the undisputed best (and that AFO has banned in the house,) and tells him he needs a lift and he's willing to trade.

Kurogiri's eyes slit.

Dabi fans it back and forth gently, smiling lazily.

He's still on the shitlist, Kurogiri tells him (in politer language) when he takes the box, which is basically just another way of saying Dabi's off of it.

It's 1 a.m. on a Monday; now's as good a time as any to visit his boss.

Kurogiri gets him in the general zone of where he needs to be. There's an officer snoozing; a syringe in the neck sees to it that he keeps right on snoozing.

Dabi fries the electrical conduits for good measure because why not, strolls on, and ten minutes later, Dabi's outside his boss' cell.

(Dabi texts Kurogiri that he's there and he'll need that portal for his location here, thanks, on standby. Obviously, Dabi wore a tracker so that Kurogiri has an accurate location for where he is now. Dabi thinks ahead. Dabi doesn't want a 10-minute walk back if he needs to run. Dabi doesn't want one even if he doesn't.)

(The text spins around for a solid 10s before alerting 'failed to send'.)

Fuckin' country reception.

Ah well. Dabi's tracker also has bugged audio; Kurogiri will just have to suck it up and monitor shit without that text.

Shigaraki's squashed into a corner glaring. Convenient, since it means Dabi doesn't have to wake him.

But also:

"Well you look like shit," Dabi observes, from the safety of this side of the bars, taking the whole thing in.

Probably not the best move given ingratiating is the point here, but Shigaraki kind of does, so. It's not like Dabi's picking on his waxy skin or the dark shadows under his eyes. Every villain's got those, heroes are a pain in the ass about letting villains rest. But Shigaraki's not just looking tired, the fucker's got more bandages than skin showing right now.

(And-- not that it matters, but--

Why the fuck's he wearing what looks a fuckton too much like Natsuo's clothes?

Specifically, the terrible sweater Mom knitted for not-so-little-anymore Natsuo two years ago, that is warm and fluffy and has a lopsided little snowman pattern in the centre that went slightly off part way through but not wrong enough to unpick?)

Dabi doesn't give a shit about Natsuo, obviously, but he stalks his blog occasionally (hence knowing the above) and little Natsuo's kind of supposed to be living happily without Dabi and getting a stupid degree somewhere nice and far away where Dabi can find him and get someone to kill him when (and only when) Endeavor's there to cry over it. In the meantime, he's supposed to not be anywhere near villains as messed up as Shigaraki is. (It's going to put a spanner in the works of Dabi's plans if Shigaraki's already gone and killed little Natsuo. Has he already gone and killed Natsuo?)

Shigaraki glares at him.

"Stop staring, Dabi. These injuries are nothing. As if you look any better, you're basically held together by staples."

(Shigaraki thinks Dabi gives a shit about Shigaraki's injuries?)

"Nice sweater, boss."

"I will feed your brain to a nomu," Shigaraki hisses.

(Yeah, Dabi should be worried about that, but--)

"Where'd you get it?"

"Get lost, Dabi. I don't want to talk to you and I don't want to be rescued yet. I don't give a shit if it's technically Monday, I told Sensei I didn't want to be rescued until late afternoon. And I don't want you to rescue me anyway. I don't like you. You all let Twice replace me with mud and you've all been running my League without me."

Fuck Shigaraki's a bitch.

Who gives a shit what he wants?

"C'mon, boss," Dabi smiles lazily. "You look fuckin' three. You're cute as fuck. You kill anyone to get that thing?"

For someone in quirk restraints, Shigaraki has mean aim with the can of juice he kicks at Dabi's face.

Dabi sidesteps it. Poor someone; that can's sailed straight across the room and is now leaking juice over some poor fucker's keyboard.

"No, I didn't kill anyone to get it," Shigaraki snaps. "You think I like looking three? It's white, Dabi. You can't be evil and wear white. A random NPC gave it to me."

Yeah, Dabi kinda knows.

Question is, an alive random NPC or a dead one?

"Sucks. Need me to kill him for ya?" Dabi offers.

"No, I don't need you to kill him for me," Shigaraki snaps, glaring. "The brat is going to bitch at me if I murder the NPCs who were nice to us, he's already going to bitch at me for breaking out of jail tomorrow and he's not going to accept my friend request if I murder his precious NPCs. And anyway, that NPC didn't suck. He gave us clothes because he didn't like us being cold and he agreed heroes shouldn't be called even if we are villains because they can't be trusted and he says Society is shit, too, so I don't want him dead anyway."

1. 'The brat'?

2. Little Natsuo (who is not dead) said that?

That's--

(Dabi should be thinking about 1, probably, since it's a bad move for Evil if your Evil Figurehead is going give a shit about what Dabi has a bad feeling might be what a temperamental hero-in-training thinks of him, but Dabi's a little bit more interested in the fact that--)

(What the fuck is it, actually? If little Natsuo's harbouring fugitives and lending them clothes? Cuz Dabi's really been assuming little Natsuo's been living the good life because in his social media posts he's always smiling and once a year he posts some shitty post like 'taken too soon' that gets less and less likes & reblogs each year when he didn't look for Dabi and went on with life just fine without him and didn't miss him at all.)

Not that Dabi gives a shit; Dabi stopped giving a shit years ago.

Dabi doesn't have a single sentimental bone left in his body.

Natsuo's going to end up in jail, though.

Then Dabi can't kill him in front of daddy and make daddy cry.

(That's the only reason he's thinking about this.)

"You seem awfully invested in that NPC, Dabi," Shigaraki observes, red eyes narrowing accusingly. "If I didn't know you were evil, I'd say you were feeling soft."

(Like Shigaraki can talk, Dabi isn't the one holding off on murder because he wants his friend request accepted by a 16-year-old.)

"Fascinated, boss, not soft. Anyone who can get you into that's worth being a bit interested in," Dabi smiles lazily, and then, smoothly (Dabi's a smooth bitch, always): "And on the note of being interested in things, we're kinda on the big man's shitlist for leaving you for dead. So if there's anything you need in there that'll make you want to turn us into nomu less when you're out, let me know, yeah? I can bring you a black hoodie or something. Mr. Compress can smuggle you in a phone or something or we can knife an officer and get Himiko in so that you'll have someone you can trust in here if anyone tries anything. 'M coming up blank on what Magne and Spinner can do for ya, boss, but they're up for it if there is."

"Sensei's going to turn you all into nomu?"

"We're hoping he isn't going to, boss," Dabi corrects his boss firmly.

Shigaraki smirks, looking pleased; Smug bitch.

"I'm not going to turn you into nomu, Dabi," Shigaraki says, (reassuringly,) still looking pleased. "I'm not even going to turn Twice into a nomu, even though I should because then you won't be able to do it again even if you do want to. You're all annoying and I don't like you but I need you all for my new Grand Vision of how we're going to collapse Society so obviously I'm not going to kill you all yet."

"...?" Dabi eyes his boss doubtfully.

1. New grand vision? (They had an old one?)

2. 'Yet'?

(That kinda looks like genuine enthusiasm, too, there as well, but the only things Clone Shigaraki's this passionate about are his Sensei and good random drops from his dailies.)

"I'm not telling you in here, Dabi. Obviously. Don't be annoying. You're already being annoying enough coming here at all as it is, they're going to see that keyboard when they come into work tomorrow andd they're going to blame me for it even though it is your fault for dodging. I'm going to tell you tomorrow. I'm going to tell Sensei tomorrow, too, so you had better take my side when I do, and you had better make sure the rest of the League do, too, because Sensei's going to be an important part of my new plan as well but I don't know if he's going to be pleased. You are in charge of peer pressure. Make sure there is some."

Dabi eyes his boss some more.

His boss still looks like shit, still looks way too small in Natsuo's clothes, and still looks like he should cut his hair or brush it.

But--

And here's the but.

Now, admittedly Dabi doesn't hang out that much with the guy, but still. Dabi's never not seen him apathetic, annoyed, or angry.

Dabi's not sure what the look is that he has got. Ambition, maybe?

Something worth getting out of bed in the morning for?

Whatever it is, it's an all right look on him.

(He doesn't look like he'd jump off a cliff if daddy told him to.)

Probably still doesn't know how to work the washing machine though.

Dabi's 80% expecting to hear their grand vision for the future is going to be writing shit reviews of anything endorsed by All Might or something equally dumb, but if it's making his usually-apathetic boss look like that-- well. Dabi'll muster up a grudging 2% interest in hearing it.

Dabi hasn't seen Shigaraki look interested in--

Well, basically anything before.

It's kinda fascinating.

(It would be even if he wasn't in Natsuo's sweater.)

Dabi promises his boss that he'll have the League on standby to endorse whatever Shigaraki suggests.

Even if it's a shit plan, they've got his back on this.

He's all that's standing between them and being turned into nomu, his evil plan for the future could be hiding scorpions in people's house slippers or Kurogiri-ing their way into birthday parties and popping kids' balloons and they'd still all endorse his genius in a heartbeat.

Shigaraki kicks another drink bottle at Dabi and glares at him and tells him he's not going to be a lieutenant, he's going to be lucky if he ever makes Private.

Keyboard #2 bites the dust.

The HPSC decide to be bitches and burst in 20 seconds later.

Dabi flips Hawks (who's here-- no wonder he's not been responding to Dabi's texts, poor guy, he's gonna get about 45 pings when he finally does get to somewhere with a decent signal) the finger just to be a bitch as he steps through Kurogiri's portal and sees it dissolve into mist behind him.

(He owes Hawks a drink though, assuming Hawks is up for it; Hawks is a fast fucker. Dabi appreciates the bird takin' 20 seconds longer than he needed to so that Dabi could stroll instead of dive for the portal to make his languid escape.)

Chapter Text

Int. UA - Class 1-A Dorms - Night - 11:26 PM

Sensei doesn't keep Katsuki long after that whole Awkward Talk thing.

They're basically at an impasse anyway; Katsuki can tell Sensei thinks he's not getting whatever it is Sensei wants him to be getting out of this, and Katsuki on his end doesn't get why Sensei's picking two months after the event to be weird about the Sports Festival.

(The 'villains are bad, be nicer to shitty extras' isn't new.)

Still. Katsuki can admit his mood, already pretty good, is still in the positives even after that shitty conversation.

What's not to be happy about?

Sensei's not making Katsuki do more than turn in one shitty essay for sneaking out and visiting Hands.

Sensei's a rational shit and a sadistic fuck. Katsuki isn't some naïve sucker like Deku, he knows how the world works and he knows it's gonna look shit for UA and for Katsuki that Katsuki doesn't mind Hands. He fucking knows he's got a compromised brain-cat chomping sardines in his brain cuz it's still chomping them. If he knows that, Sensei probably knows, and if Sensei knows you're doing something that'll tank your career and UA's rep, Sensei'll usually give you shit about it.

Katsuki decides around about the time Sensei makes it clear they're doing 'let's talk Feelings' and not 'let's talk Not Being Messed Up' that Sensei basically is accepting that he messed up teaching Katsuki's clone for 16 days without telling the difference, and is making up for it. That's the only way any of that softness makes sense; it's not that Sensei is actually soft, Sensei's still a sadistic fuck, he's just withholding the in-trouble-ness Katsuki deserves that he does control to even things out from the replaced-by-clone-ness Katsuki did not deserve that he did not control cuz Sensei thinks the Universe has been plenty sadistic enough recently already and Sensei wants shit to be fair.

He gets a pass. Katsuki grades on a curve; any effort basically puts you in the 84%+ part of the bell curve if Katsuki averages out Class 1-A's combined behavior re. this issue so far, so if Sensei's gonna be fair, Katsuki will be fair back.

'Sides, Katsuki wasn't really considering holding grudges against Sensei anyway-- least not until he said Katsuki needs to accept his double gets to have rights and be human just because it stole his memories and his brain to think with, what the fuck?

(It's weird and it sucks, Katsuki doesn't want it to be human.)

(If it's as human as he is just cuz it's got his memories, then Katsuki ain't special, he ain't unique, he's a fucking mass-produced commodity and if Twice marketed that shit than he'd be something you could buy off the shelf whenever he broke.)

Katsuki doesn't want to be mass-produced.

He ain't a fucking toy.

Maybe it's nicer than he is, but it's still the toy, not Katsuki. Katsuki'll swallow it's a dick move to blow the head off a toy somebody else likes playing with just because they're enjoying playing with it, but Katsuki won't swallow that that thing gets to be human just cuz it can think.

If it was human, Sensei wouldn't kick the shit outta it even if it was a villain. You don't beat villains to death, not even if they're killing people.

(Even the HPSC and police make you go to court before they give you the death penalty.)

Whatever though.

Katsuki doesn't wanna think about it.

It's not at UA, he can't see it, and even if Sensei does like it, Sensei likes Katsuki better cuz he says so and has just spent 120 mins solely with Katsuki trying to feed him rational deceptions Katsuki doesn't need to make him feel not-upset about shit he wasn't upset about anyway.

Sensei sucks at emotions which is probably why Sensei doesn't normally do them, but that's still 20-60 days' worth of allotted time he's spending just cuz he thinks Katsuki needs it, and if Katsuki looks at it that way rather than what Sensei's actually saying, then Katsuki can feel pleased by the fact Sensei thinks it's worth directing that much attention at him.

(Katsuki bets his stupid double didn't get 120 mins with Sensei.)

(It wouldn't have had the fucking time between its Uno matches and getting helped by Deku and stealing Shitty-hair.)

It's kinda late; other people are still up in the dorms.

Katsuki ate out, so he skips supper and heads straight to bed.

His room still feels like shit, but the window has curtains that are the good sort that don't have gaps anyone on the balcony outside can look through if you close them, and while there is a door out onto the balcony, it's one you can lock.

There's no lock on the main door, but Katsuki's got that sorted; doesn't take long to screw the lock onto the door. The wall's concrete, the screws won't go in on that side, but Katsuki bought epoxy yesterday just in case Cementoss was mostly responsible for this building, so Katsuki glues the other side to the wall with that instead which basically works just as well. Better, even. Be dry by tomorrow and it'll stick to that cement like it's fucking cement itself.

Katsuki bags his shit up and packs it neatly in a big box labelled 'to his fucking double.'

Puts his new things in place neatly, and feels a bit better after he has.

(The only thing his double doesn't get is the All Might toy. Katsuki glares at it a while, considering, but his All Might toy doesn't look like it likes the shitty double better when it looks back, it keeps smiling at Katsuki like it always does, so Katsuki decides it gets to stay. The shitty double's already got Shitty-hair, it doesn't get to have Katsuki's All Might toy, too.)

Katsuki gets changed.

Does his teeth.

Katsuki's feeling weird still anyway, so he procrastinates some more. Sorts a bit more of his shit out; burns all notes his shitty double took about the shit they went over while Katsuki was away.

(Sensei can suffer and teach Katsuki twice, Katsuki's paying to learn from Sensei, he ain't paying to learn from its notes.)

Sensei apparently is already suffering, cuz Sensei texts Katsuki to please stop burning things because he is setting off the smoke alarm alerts and robots monitoring those are asking Sensei to please type n if he wants to opt out of setting off the sprinklers.

Katsuki leaves him on read, but he does burn the rest of the notes on the balcony.

Not as good as blowing up someone, but at least he got to blow up something.

It's 12:30, Katsuki needs to be up in 5 hours, he needs to rest for his test, so Katsuki lies in bed once all that's done and all doors are locked again and tells his brain it needs to stop being a fucking bitch and let him fucking sleep.

...

...

...

The bed's too fucking soft, is the trouble.

It's too soft and it's not in a corner, that's why Hands' voice on loop ain't doing shit.

But if Katsuki doesn't sleep on it, he's never gonna break shit habits. He can't spend the rest of his life tucked into hard corners on the floor just because that happens to be the only spot his stupid brain wants to feel safe in.

UA has camps and sleepovers, people're gonna know.

He's gonna fail tomorrow if he can't sleep, Katsuki can't not sleep 2 night's running, what the fuck?

It's 1:30 a.m. when the solution hits his sleep-deprived brain:

Maybe he can't do shit about the bed being too soft, but he can about the corner. Fuck order, and fuck the layout of the room Katsuki's stupid clone wanted. Katsuki rearranges the fuck out of his room. It's an inefficient use of floor space, but once he's done, Katsuki's desk is facing the door (fuck screen glare and natural light, nobody's coming into his room while he's studying without him seeing them) and his bed's in the corner. Katsuki sits up; rests his back against the wall. It's nice and solid; not soft at all.

It's better.

Nothing's coming at him from behind.

Katsuki'll probably feel the bed shift in time to be woken up before anything makes it across it to wake him.

He's fine. His shitty instincts can quit giving him shit about this, he's fine.

He'll ease back into sleeping prone, this is better than being on the floor, this isn't victory but it's still winning.

(Katsuki still can't replicate the monologue.)

It doesn't fucking work, not even in the corner. It ain't the same as Hands being there, Katsuki can't get the fucking loop right, and Hands can't be here cuz he's in a shitty, cold cell where the loser probably still ain't sleeping cuz he hates being cold and he doesn't like the police and he's shit at looking after himself and he ain't got a single person in that station there who'll make him.

Not Katsuki's fault he did it though. Hands was the one who killed shitty extras, the fuck else was Katsuki supposed to do?

You can't let people off for murder just cuz they're shit villains and they look at you like you're special, the fuck kind of a message does that send to the shitty extras who fucking died and got sent back to level 0 and had to start leveling up in life from the ground floor just cuz Hands chucked a tantrum? If Katsuki'd died and had to restart life with some new family and some new quirk, Katsuki'd be fucking pissed, he likes his current life just fine. His old hag would be pissed, too, and his old man. He's their kid not whoever'd get him in his next life, he doesn't get to die till after they do, they don't like sharing any better than Katsuki does.

(You plagiarize the old man's designs, he will fucking sue.)

Katsuki knows all that, so why doesn't the dumb cat squashing itself up against the heat lamp in Katsuki's chest?

Katsuki explodes sheep in his head instead.

It works about as well as last night, but at least it stops him from thinking about shit.

At ~sheep #456, Katsuki drifts off into a shallow, restless sleep.

Int. UA - Class 1-A Dorms - Night ~ 3:24 AM

Sleep is weird.

Katsuki dreams about shit he doesn't remember and wakes thrashing against nothing.

It's too dark, too quiet.

Nothing smells burnt but Katsuki's hands are glowing which means it was a near miss.

(Katsuki'll need to look into shit for sound proofing, maybe fire-proofing, too, cuz the last thing he needs is setting off the smoke alarms or Shitty-hair or Deku noticing this.)

('This.')

(What the fuck even is this?)

(He'll get over this, right? This weird, jittery, feeling-- shit's too quiet, nothing's safe-- won't be forever?)

Katsuki hasn't got a fucking clue.

He feels fucking two, he wants the old hag, All Might, or Hands to hide behind so he can fucking rest, but Katsuki is not two and Katsuki ain't got shit except a dark room.

It's fine though.

He just shoulda left a lamp on, but it's fine, Katsuki'll turn it on now, and then it won't be dark and his shitty brain'll accept that Katsuki is fine, safe, in UA and not in a sewer anymore and he'll go back to sleep and not dream about anything.

Katsuki turns the lamp on. And kind of blinks, cuz there's a stocky creep staring at him who doesn't have any taste in suits (or maybe just no budget to afford any tailor-made ones) and who doesn't have hair or eyes. Or much of a face at all, actually, sans life-support mask.

Part of Katsuki wonders if it's a nightmare.

Doesn't feel like a nightmare though.

There's shit Katsuki should probably say.

Who the fuck is this, for a start.

Why the fuck's this random creep in his room?

"...the fuck happen'd to your face?" is what comes out of Katsuki mouth instead, though, cuz in terms of facial features this guy's basically Mr. Potato Head, he ain't even got hair.

The creepy stranger laughs gently at that, and there's-- something, an aura in that laugh, that says this guy has Speechcraft 1000, nothing he says can be trusted cuz he ain't got eyes to betray him if he's lying and there's an 80% chance he ain't got morals either, and if Katsuki was visualizing health bars, this guy's would stretch the width of the screen. (Katsuki kinda wants to fight him, be fun, but at the same time, if Katsuki did, Katsuki's instincts are telling him he would be flattened.)

HPSC?

Villain?

Katsuki's leaning towards villain with that much HP, that much HP is up there with All Might, and Katsuki would kill to be in something more threatening than his PJs right now.

Katsuki gropes for his phone.

(No signal.)

"No need to panic, young man. No need to panic. I didn't mean to wake you," Creepy-weirdo says, reassuringly. (Nothing about a voice with that much bluff is even vaguely reassuring though. Reassuring people also don't break into your room to stare at you while you're sleeping.)

Needless to say, Katsuki does not relax.

"Well you fucking blew it, asshole, so get lost."

Not surprisingly, the dungeon boss with 50-100x Katsuki's HP does not get lost just cuz Katsuki tells him to.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Katsuki sets his phone to video to record this shit instead, and angles himself for blasting off a good attack.

(Least with that much HP, the fight should be fun however it goes. Katsuki wins, good. If Katsuki does get flattened, well-- it's morbid, but if this creep is here to murder him and is as OP as Katsuki's reading him, Katsuki's vengeful ghost wants this perp to rot in Tartarus for life. If it happens because of his evidence, that's still him winning.)

The man scoots back a bit on the chair, making a placating gesture.

"Calm down, child, calm down." (Katsuki ain't a child. Young man he'll swallow under sufferance. Child, no.) "I am not here to hurt you. I was merely... curious, about Young Tomura's..." a delicate pause, like this creep with a gazillion speechcraft really needs time to think about how he's gonna phrase shit, "weaknesses."

Katsuki narrows his eyes suspiciously.

'Tomura' is Hands, Katsuki Googled that shit after the whole Deku incident.

Even so, you only get to call him that if you're on a first name basis with the loser.

Katsuki doesn't exactly lower his hands, but he doesn't attack this creep either.

Call it paranoia, but it's a bit too much of a coincidence that the person calling Hands 'young Tomura' is a fucking creep missing most of his face (and probably brain hence the shit life choice to come into UA and creep around Katsuki's room like this) who can't afford a decent villain outfit and wants the people Hands hangs out with to spy on him and report on the loser's weaknesses cuz he don't trust what the loser's up to behind his back but also presumably doesn't want to tell him that to his face. 

"...You Hands' evil dad?" Katsuki checks.

He could be wrong.

He's not usually, ever, but he could be.

They're few and far between, Katsuki usually avoids thinking about them, but there are times he's been wrong about shit before.

A vein is ticking somewhere in this weirdo's jaw, though.

The same one that ticks in Hands' when he says soft shit that Katsuki's brain cat likes and Katsuki asks him if he understands that doing that basically means he gets an F in evil.

Katsuki doesn't mean to, not with a boss unit with this much HP and bluff, but Katsuki can feel himself relaxing. Slightly.

(You don't blow up the parents of the people feeding your brain cat. Katsuki's pretty sure you don't, anyway. Not unless they're killing shit.)

Though, jury is still out on him killing shit.

He taught Hands to kill shit, that's basically as bad as doing it himself, and Katsuki doesn't know what this guy does on the side except breed nomu, fight All Might, maybe hand out quirks to Deku, and spoil Hands rotten.

Still.

He's not trying to kill Katsuki right now.

(Maybe.)

So, Katsuki decides he won't blast this fucker who hugged Hands when he was 5 and told him it was OK to have nightmares yet.

Katsuki will respect Hands' creepy evil dad a bit.

He'll still call him on his shitty parenting though. (It is shit. The fuck's he here being creepy and trying to get dirt on Hands when he should be off fucking saving the loser from a cold cell and a possible death sentence if he's a villain anyway with this much bluff & sneak?)

Katsuki sends Hands' evil dad a glare to make it clear he doesn't like him even if he's not blasting him.

In case the glare's not making it clear enough, Katsuki spells it out for him, too.

"You're a shit dad."

Creepy-weirdo stares at him eyelessly.

"Did Young Tomura tell you that, child?"

Fuck this guy and his one-track mind.

"1. I ain't a 'child', not to shitty villains like you, mister, and 2. Fuck no, that loser thinks you're cooler than All Might, he thinks you're A+ even though you're the one telling him it's an A+ plan to blow the world up and starve himself before he's 30." Katsuki glares accusingly. "You're still a shit dad. He's in jail and he's got a fuckin' death sentence hanging over his shitty head if shit goes south, the fuck are you here trying to dig up dirt on weaknesses?"

Hands' evil dad sighs.

He fucking sighs, like Katsuki's old man sighs when Katsuki or the old hag smash another couch or TV they're still paying off.

Kinda plaintive, kinda 'why is this my life'.

(This fucker with 5 million HP is sounding like he's the one needing sympathy here.)

"You are not wrong, child-- Yes, 'child.' Forgive an old man his foibles; when one is more than 100, the youths of your generation do start to look quite absurdly young. But you are not wrong. I have asked myself the same thing any time these past two days. Almost those exact words, even. 'Why am I indulging Young Tomura when Evil calls for her leader?' Her real leader, and not a mere figurehead made of mud. The situation is less than ideal. Alas, Young Tomura's Grand Vision includes not being rescued until later today for reasons he was reluctant to share with his," a delicate pause, "'evil dad'."

The fuck's this guy telling that to Katsuki?

Katsuki was being rhetorical, he didn't actually want to know.

This is TMI, and what the fuck is he supposed to do with it?

Report it, obviously, but who the fuck's Katsuki supposed to be actually rooting for if that happens, and fuck is that an unprofessional thought.

Is it being a lame-ass fence sitter if Katsuki hopes Hands gets free but just magically decides not to kill shit even without the ten tears of job training and therapy he'll get for that shit in jail?

Katsuki's got a bad feeling it is.

The fuck else should he hope for though?

It the loser does run then police get to shoot him, and Katsuki doesn't want him dead. Even if they recapture him without shooting him, things are going to go shit with him in court and they were already pretty shit for him as-was.

Katsuki still would not help him escape cuz Katsuki is a professional and that would not be a professional act, it would be illegal, but if Hands gets free, and isn't killed while fleeing, then Katsuki will, probably, sleep a bit better.

Maybe. So long as Hands doesn't go right back to killing people, anyway.

(Because Katsuki is a lame-ass fence sitter.)

Fuck this feeling sucks.

Katsuki ain't supposed to be being a lame-ass fence sitter, he's the future Number One.

"...What'd you do to your 'figurehead of mud'?" Katsuki asks, after a little while.

(Maybe to distract himself. Maybe cuz he's morbidly curious.)

(Maybe just cuz he wants to know if they're keeping their fake copy, too.)

"It was returned to its original state. Naturally," Hands' evil dad shrugs, like Katsuki asked a dumb question and he's just stating the fucking obvious. "Young Tomura would have been upset had it been allowed to live. I do not allow things that upset Young Tomura to live."

Katsuki eyes him a bit.

...Fuckin' yandere.

Katsuki sees that runs in the family, too; no wonder Hands grew up so fucking spoiled, and with zero grasp on what you do/don't do when you lose your temper.

He can have a point anyway though cuz Katsuki also doesn't see why Hands should have to live with being upset about his account being hacked by some shitty fake. Who gives a shit if it had feelings and could think? Hands has feelings, too, they don't matter less than its do. Nobody asked him if he was fine with there being two of him and Hands isn't. He ain't fine with the idea that he's replaceable and he shouldn't fucking have to be. You don't gotta share your account with somebody else just cuz they accidentally hacked in and liked DMing your friends and doing your dailies. They can make their own fucking account if they like playing that bad, they don't need to play yours, and if they can't cuz they're a fucking virus or a bug then you aren't the shit one for deleting them.

Katsuki doesn't buy for an instant that this fucker actually gives a shit about what upsets Hands, though.

Hands likes puppies and doesn't like himself when he murders shit. He doesn't like the heavy, weird feeling of knowing you're the reason another human died any better than Katsuki does. If he enjoyed it like Metal-tooth did that night he tried to spike Katsuki and Icyhot on his toothpick teeth, then a threat to kick him in the shins wouldn't have kept him in line. He'd be happy and free right now, and Katsuki would be dead.

What makes the loser not-upset is his shitty games. Maybe monologuing.

Maybe being an evil Senpai to Katsuki.

Probably being told 'well done' by this geezer.

Katsuki's not telling this guy that, though.

Katsuki's kinda got a read on this creep from the way shit's gone down so far; what he's said and the kinda shit he wants to know. This geezer's one of your overbearing dad types who's got his own ideas about what's gonna make his kid happy and he has his axes backwards. If Katsuki snitches that Hands doesn't like himself after he loses it and tries to murder shit and he'd probably be a pro gamer or something now and not a pro villain if that's what Loser Sr. had told him well done for doing, that'd basically be like telling the old hag Katsuki scored a sub-A on a test.

His old hag would what to know why he got that shit mark, and if the answer was cuz Katsuki was playing video games and also going off playing with villains instead of practicing/studying, she'd probably scream at him a bit, ground him for a month, and definitely ban his video games till his grades picked up cuz she wants him to be a success, not a failure, and she'd be fucking worried. (And embarrassed, cuz she has a mom and a mother-in-law to report those marks to, and friends who also own companies and in business dinners when the subject of your kids comes up, the old hag is a pro at moving the talk to schools and grades, cuz that's about the only things about Katsuki she can show off about.)

Katsuki ain't sure that's what this is, mind. But he's also not sure it's not, and he assumes hanging out with heroes is just as bad for villain kids' reps as hanging out with villains is for hero kids' reps. If Hands' dad's here to find out from a third party if his kid's been scoring more than 0% at Life recently and hanging out with people he shouldn't, he's not getting that shit from Katsuki.

"You can fucking leave," Katsuki tells him, when the creep just keeps eyelessly staring at Katsuki like if he leaves an awkward silence long enough, Katsuki'll have no choice but to fill it. (Which is exactly what he's doing. Manipulative asshole.) "You ain't getting shit from me, mister. He's fucking fine, zero weaknesses, does evil A+, he ain't done a nice thing in his fucking life, go hire some professional spies and find that shit out yourself like a normal parent would if you give that much of a shit about it. You stick around and I don't give a shit you used to hug him when he was five, I will nuke the room. I don't give a fuck if that won't touch you, what it will do is wake Sensei, and Sensei will wake All Might and sic All Might on your ass and All Might will fucking flatten you."

Katsuki barely sees him move.

Maybe cuz he doesn't-- just one moment he's got normal people-fingers, the next all five of them on his right hand are elongating into 3-meter black-and-red spikes hissing straight towards Katsuki's stomach like angry snakes.

Katsuki blasts up, back slamming against the roof (he's got OK reflexes; they're a little sharper after the sewer); the spikes embed themselves where he was a foot deep straight through the plaster and into the concrete wall behind it.

Slowly, the spikes retract, slithering back out of the wall and into fingers again.

Katsuki stays where he is.

(Corners are good for bracing against. He could stay up here for hours.)

(Not that he's any safer up here.)

(Fuck, that's solid concrete and that's just this guy's basic attack, this guy's fucking fast, has he got an attack that'd make a dent on this guy?)

Could get the life support unit, maybe?

(Is Hands gonna take it personally if Katsuki does nuke the life support unit of the guy who gave him hugs and read him bedtime stories when he was five?)

"My apologies, child," Hands' evil dad says, with a light, slightly rueful laugh. "All Might is a-- somewhat traumatic point for me. I used to run the world back in the day, you see, and I had friends I liked before he-- ah-- flattened us. We are not the best of friends, All Might and I. No hard feelings, I hope?"

(Hands' evil, unhinged, psycho dad, Katsuki's gonna have to amend that to.)

(Who also has zero issues owning to embarrassing shit like trauma.)

Fucking unnerving is what this guy is. He can turn his evil on and off like a fucking light switch. (Sanity, too.)

(Is it the partly-missing brain?)

Katsuki does drop back down though-- lightly-- onto the corner of the bed.

He can be cool about this.

He can be cool.

"Like fuck. There fucking are hard feelings, fucker. You see that shit? Maybe you don't cuz you don't have eyes, but that right there is fuckin plaster dust and concrete dust all over the sheets and maybe you don't have a nose, but this whole shitty room smells like burnt plastic now and it was already shit to sleep in even when it didn't smell like shit. You ever tried washing that shit out, or you make your minions clean up after you too like Hands does?"

(So maybe Katsuki fails a bit at cool.)

But Katsuki was nearly one-shotted, what the fuck?

Hands' psycho dad chuckles.

He fucking chuckles.

"You are an interesting child. A weakness, certainly. But not-- perhaps-- one harmful to Young Tomura. I do not think-- No. I do not think you need to die quite yet."

This fucker's the one who needs to die.

Nobody gets to say that shit to Katsuki and get away with it.

(Katsuki's no one's weakness, anyway, definitely not Hands', what the fuck? Katsuki's hiding Hands' weaknesses, he's not being one.)

Fuck respect. Hands' evil dad started it. Katsuki sends a blast straight at him; the guy's arm swells up like a fucking balloon and he blocks it like it's nothing (forget HP, that attack didn't even get though his DR, the fuck's Katsuki got that's gonna beat this guy?) and then his shimmery, purple portal forms behind him like the fucking cheat he is and he's stepping through it with an unassuming, friendly air of some urbane businessmen who's just finished up with a successful business meeting instead of finishing up with a session of being fucking creepy and how the fuck does Katsuki sleep at night if it's this easy for villains to find him?

Katsuki kinda--

Watches him, doesn't follow, not even when the guy pauses, nearly tauntingly, like he's waiting.

(The fuck's he waiting for?)

(He want Katsuki to try for another blast in the face?)

(Ranged attacks are the best he's gonna get, Katsuki wasn't born yesterday, there's no way he's doing melee with this guy, the guy would either side step or grab him and Katsuki would end up in what's probably the LOV lair.)

But no.

All Might, maybe's, what he's waiting for, nothing to do with Katsuki, cuz at that moment the door behind Katsuki is smashed in hard enough to slam off its hinges. (RIP lock. Katsuki'll need to get another one. Maybe not lock it at night if this kinda shit's gonna be normal.)

UA's response time in a crisis:

Post-blast: 50 seconds.

Response unit: All Might.

Uniform: PJs.

Hands' psycho dad doesn't stay to meet him, not even for a final taunting word.

Being seen was enough, apparently; he disappears before All Might's punch gets him, portal closing behind him, vanishing like the little tear in time and space was never there at all.

And Katsuki--

Had that, cuz he apparently passed some test of life, that fucker wasn't retaliating anyway, so he didn't need saving.

So it's not like All Might saved him for a third time or anything, it's not as embarrassing as it could've been.

(Other members of Class 1-A are kind of gathering outside, staring. Including Shitty-hair. Fuck, Katsuki's next door to Shitty-hair, isn't he?)

Katsuki yells at them to eat shit and die and fucking mind their own business.

Then he gets to work fixing his door so he can slam it.

(Salvageable. The hinges are ripped clean off the concrete, but that tube of epoxy will fix that shit.)

Cementoss can fix it properly tomorrow

He has a test tomorrow.

He needs to report.

He needs to call it in and then he needs to sleep.

(He's fucking distracted by All Might's PJs, All Might's still in the room and they're fucking fluffy, this guy loves himself enough that he's wearing his own merch.)

No wonder he loves Deku.

All Might wants to know if Katsuki's all right.

Katsuki reports he's still on 100% HP.

(He basically is, minus a couple of bruises.)

All Might eyes him a bit weirdly.

Katsuki adds to this report, since they're debriefing anyway, that even though he is fine he's wondering if he's maybe a tiny bit of a security hole or something.

(Cuz it's hard to miss the fact that USJ, Hands' forest Attack, this--)

Katsuki's been the constant.

They don't happen when he's not there, nothing's happened at UA for nearly a month while Katsuki hasn't been here, and they do happen when he is. They know where he is, villains find him like he's swallowed a fucking tracker, and he hasn't got any way to stop those guys from finding him.

It's not a problem, Katsuki can handle it, knowing where he is doesn't make it easier to get rid of him, not like you need to be safe to sleep, it's not like there aren't plenty of villains who'll be just as bad once Katsuki's graduated, villains do this shit all the time, even the fans do it, but maybe UA should make a different building for him to sleep in. Bit like the problem patients get the hospital beds closest to the nursing station. So that any AOEs at least don't get anyone else on the campus if they go off, and so nobody in the next rooms comes charging in to die like idiots which all of them probably would based on the number who got up and were staring 50 seconds after that blast. Cuz Katsuki can't actually, possibly, amazing though he is, do shit against that guy's 5 million HP, not in bed, asleep, and not in uniform. If that guy comes back and decides he's changed his mind and that Katsuki does need to die, there may not, in fact, be shit that Katsuki can do about that.

All Might puts his hand on Katsuki's shoulder.

It's fucking weird, and Katsuki pulls away; finishes with the door.

The fuck's All Might got time for him anyway?

He's handed in his incident report; he's handed in the recording on his phone. He's given his analysis of/opinion on How To Avoid Repeat Incidents.

All Might's done his job, too, they both ticked off all the boxes.

Deku wasn't involved.

Katsuki doesn't get it.

Maybe it's the epoxy drying?

All Might's not that bright though; Katsuki doubts he'd give a shit about the epoxy drying times.

Is All Might staying cuz he's feeling sorry for Katsuki, then?

He better fucking not be. Katsuki's fine, he's the future number one, that Mr. Potato Head was tame compared to some of the shit Katsuki's woken up to recently, Mr. Potato Head's lame wall attack and creepiness was nothing.

UA should do something about their security though.

Are there anti warp gate repellents you can buy?

Someone, surely, has gotta have invented an anti-theft device to counter that shit.

All Might sits down then, on the bed, not the desk chair cuz that thing's rated for a max of 200kg and would snap if All Might so much as lent on it, and he tells Katsuki he should sit, too.

Katsuki doesn't sit. He wants to blow something up, not sit, but there isn't a target he can obliterate.

So, he kind of just stands there awkwardly.

(It is awkward as fuck, he's taller than All Might and it's weird as hell cuz when All Might's standing, Katsuki doesn't even make it to All Might's shoulder. Katsuki already regrets his life choices, All Might knew what he was doing when he said that, Katsuki shoulda listened and fucking sat.)

All Might clears his throat.

And then All Might tells him the thing is, they probably do know exactly where he is, like he's swallowed a fucking tracker.

But not because it's Katsuki's fault.

(And not because it's UA's fault.)

The LOV most likely know because the night Katsuki was kidnapped, one of the Wild, Wild Pussycats randos was captured, and her quirk just so happens to be a quirk that lets you know people's locations and weaknesses of up to 100 people within a 10-mile radius. And once you know, you can keep tracking that person wherever. You could track them in the North Pole from Antarctica.

Great for rescue.

Shit for privacy.

(Deku wishes he had that quirk.)

And Hands' shitty Sensei apparently wished that too, and did more than wish. And while Katsuki was sitting in his chair in a nice, bright room, bored, getting monologued at by Hands with his shitty recruitment campaign, that lady was not being recruited by anyone, she was being strapped down in a laboratory and having her quirk stolen by that greedy, quirk-snatching asshole.

So basically, once Hands' shitty Sensei gets into any place (like UA, and he has a warp gate, and thanks to shit like Google Earth, getting geo-locations within 10 miles of anywhere is a thing a three-year-old could do in their sleep) he can then use Search and know the locations and weaknesses of everyone within a search-area-wide radius (the aforementioned ~10 miles). And once he uses that on them, he has the geo-coordinates he needs to get exactly where they are, down to the nearest meter, probably down to the nearest centimeter, and he can then either keep monitoring those 100 people whoever they are, or go to a new location and scan for new people, or mix and match with his 100 slots of what is basically one giant privacy breach.

(He knows where you are, what your weaknesses are, and he's got an un-blockable warp gate to get to you.)

Well, fuck.

It's not just Katsuki, the guy probably knows All Might's location constantly (hence his timing leaving), he probably knows Hands' location constantly (tomorrow's rescue will probably not be a failure) and he probably has 97 other people he can monitor or switch to new people cuz he's a boss monster with millions of HP and he's OP as fuck.

This is why he's chill as fuck about sitting in a desk chair while breaking into UA.

He knew exactly where every single other person was in the Class 1-A building.

They've been after the slippery fucker for years, All Might says (Katsuki's words, not All Might's), it's not just Katsuki who doesn't have a fucking clue how to handle him, and the guy's a manipulative asshole, he gets under your skin if you'll let him and his dream is to be a Demon Lord who's amazing and to be surrounded by loyal people who will kill and die for him, and who he can give and take quirks to/from to make them feel special cuz that's what he enjoys and that was his old job before All Might flattened him. (A shit, micromanaging Demon Lord, by the sound of it, cuz Katsuki + Deku = All Might, there's no way All Might coulda flattened all his side solo unless his side fell to pieces without him there to lead it and that only happens if you don't train your underlings how to do their jobs properly when you're not there to tell them what to do. The old hag knows how to delegate. She can take a holiday and the Bakugou Fashion Empire doesn't go to shit. She could die and it'd still roll on just fine, cuz she ain't a shit CEO.) 

All Might coughs and allows, possibly, but he likes to think he gets some of the credit.

Anyway, All Might says, it's not Katsuki's fault they're targeting him. (All Might isn't even sure they are-- when that guy fixates on you, he spends decades working out how he can make you happy or miserable, your descendants inherit that fixation if you accidentally die or your friends/students if you didn't have any, and most likely Katsuki's not a target, he's just someone who can either be treated okay to make Hands happy or treated like shit to make All Might miserable and Hands' psycho dad was still making up his mind on that, but in and of himself, Katsuki probably is ignorable.)

That ain't exactly a compliment.

Katsuki's pretty sure he's plenty important in and of himself.

Katsuki points this out.

(He shouldn't, it's All Might, but he's fucking tired and it sort of just slips out.)

All Might gives an awkward laugh, rakes a hand through his hair, and says he didn't mean it like that, he meant it in a good way, a maybe-Katsuki's-doesn't-need-to-be-paranoid-he's-being-targeted way, rather than a Katsuki's-not-worth-targeting way. Katsuki will definitely get targeted by plenty of villains, All Might promises him, when he's older, maybe even before he's much older since he'll be out in the field post-tomorrow and Katsuki is definitely a hero who will get in their way and who they'll want to bring down.

('Will be.' Will, not 'will be if he passes.' All Might thinks he'll pass.)

Katsuki feels a bit better.

Anyway, point is, whether he is or isn't a target, All Might says, what he needs to remember is it's never the person being target's fault they're being targeted (unless they're a villain being targeted by a hero, obviously, then it's their fault) and he made the right call talking and not fighting for most of that convo, because that boss is tough, Katsuki read his HP dead right, and All Might would struggle-- did struggle-- beating him himself, and doesn't want to see Katsuki dead.

Katsuki points out All Might doesn't wanna see anyone dead.

All Might points out that that is in no way inconsistent with what he said, which, fair.

So, on the downside, if he is a target, Katsuki could wake at any moment to see that fucker watching him like a creep, he could turn around to see that guy wherever he is, he could be ganked at any time, basically, and there's not a fucking thing he can do to stop it.

But on the plus side, Katsuki probably won't wake to that, because if the guy wanted him dead, he'd be dead. (That runs in the family, too.) And every time the guy does do this, Katsuki may, possibly, score 1:1 chats with All Might for reasons that do not include Deku, and where Deku's name does not even come up once.

It's an all right trade.

It's not like Katsuki enjoys being stalked by a psycho (Deku's bad enough and Deku doesn't stalk post-6 p.m., Auntie Inko would bitch at him if he was out later and Deku picks his battles) but it's also not like he doesn't enjoy All Might telling him All Might thinks he made a right call or thinks he'll pass either.

It's not like his brain cat's purring or anything, All Might's not looking at Katsuki like seeing him makes him happy (All Might's looking at Katsuki like Katsuki worries him) and he's not saying he's proud of him (the fuck would he be, Katsuki didn't really win, all he did was not lose) but it's also not like a bucketful of cold water's being dumped on it the way it usually feels when Katsuki loses in front of All Might which is basically all Katsuki's done so far in front of All Might.

He's still not going to sit next to All Might, All Might likes hugs so sitting in arm's reach without a block of cement behind you is basically inviting a shoulder grab and/or hug which he doesn't want, but Katsuki does-- a bit stiffly-- sit on the office chair, so he's looking up at All Might instead've down at him.

All Might asks if there's anything Katsuki wants to talk about.

Katsuki kinda eyes him doubtfully, says not really, cuz what the fuck?

(They've gone over most of the tactical shit, was there something Katsuki missed?)

They missed the part where All Might wants to know Katsuki's opinion on installing-- not a camera, cuz UA aren't creeps-- but a kind of alarm that'll trip when it stops getting signal from Katsuki's room, cuz All Might would like to get there a bit sooner next time if there's a repeat of this shit, and be alerted by something a little less immediate than explosions.

That's a good plan, if that's a thing you can do.

Katsuki's OK with that.

(Not like he likes waking up to creeps staring at him.)

All Might agrees it's never fun.

(All Might has crazy fans, so Katsuki decides to take it as empathy from experience rather than All Might patronizing him.)

They kind of wait a bit for the support guy to get there.

His response time is not 50 seconds.

But then, All Might's still in his PJs, that guy's probably getting dressed, and from the sound of All Might's end of the phone call (All Might calls the support guy and also Sensei; RIP Sensei's sleep tonight, too) All Might also broke not just Katsuki's door but two walls getting here this fast, so All Might kinda took the shortcut there.

Katsuki's-- grudgingly-- pleased.

But also, the fuck?

Katsuki coulda been blowing shit up in there for any reason.

(Like nightmares, but Katsuki doesn't add that.)

All Might seriously punched his way in just cuz of one dumb explosion?

Yup. All Might seriously did.

(That and the non-existent signal, cuz UA has A+ signal, UA does all their infrastructure A+, and so the only reason there wouldn't be signal is if somebody was blocking it, and if somebody's intentionally blocking it and Katsuki's exploding shit, then those are warning bells and All Might's up for filling out a few incident reports for Principle Nedzu on why it was he broke a few of the rat's walls even if it was a false alarm.)

All Might adds that Katsuki is a little bit of a magnet for trouble, which also swings things a little bit on the panic side when shit goes wrong when he's involved.

Katsuki kinda laughs.

(It's a weird sound. Maybe a bit too strained.)

Katsuki glares at the ground a bit.

All Might shifts a bit, and they kind of sit there waiting for that support guy to come.

All Might asks again if Katsuki's all right.

Katsuki kinda eyes him a bit odd cuz he answered that shit before and he ain't lost any extra HP in the last 5 minutes that he remembers, All Might's been right here, All Might woulda seen that, too, so the fuck kind of a question is that?

Katsuki grunts an 'I'm fine' when All Might looks like he wants to be told it anyway, and goes back to glaring at the floor.

(The explanation for this weird shit comes a couple of minutes later, when out the corner of his eye, when he doesn't think Katsuki's looking at him, Katsuki catches All Might leafing through a fat little pocket-book titled, 'A Dummies Guide to How To Offer Psychological Support.')

Huh. That's what he's going for?

Katsuki feels a bit better that he's not the only one, apparently, who's shit at that and would need a manual for it.

(Katsuki wonders if that book covers brain cats and how to feed them.)

Eventually, the guy from support comes, installs that alert thing that'll trip an alarm if creeps sneak into Katsuki's room and block the signal again. The support guy goes one step better, cuz he installs an IR scanner keyed to Katsuki's heat signature which will alert anybody with the right app installed if anybody who isn't Katsuki's in his room. They don't want to be creepy so they aren't going to monitor him 100% of the time or anything and they're not (they say) going to turn it on from their end, but Katsuki can arm it when he sleeps or any other time he wants to, and when it is armed, it'll alert them (and him) if there's any second heat signatures in the room. The app will also let him know who else has it installed, so that he knows no villains (or Deku) have got hold of it to monitor him.

Now, on the one hand, this is going to be good anti-Class-1-A shit. Katsuki won't need to lock up so much if he has what's basically a burglar alarm armed.

On the other, Katsuki's brain's pointing out that Search + warp gate + Marble-man = kidnapping, wherever he is and way before support can reach him, so no alarm or warning system will actually do shit.

He doesn't voice that thought.

Not like there's a counter. Short of sleeping in watches, there'd be no way to know when the LOV were coming, and the best and brightest of Class 1-A couldn't do shit against being ganked by the LOV even when all of them were awake and alert.

Even if they did spot him, that boss would fucking flatten them.

Maybe Sensei or All Might could do shit, but they ain't gonna want to waste 5-6 hours of their life per day just on making sure Katsuki isn't ganked when he's sleeping.

They're fucking pros, they already don't sleep enough and they've got people who can't look after themselves to save.

(Anyway, if Katsuki's thinking this, the rat who runs UA has already thought of it; if the rat hasn't got a solution with his 300+ IQ then there isn't one except being so strong and fast that knowing where you are doesn't actually do villains any good, and that shit's what Katsuki's at to UA to get anyway.)

All Might gives Katsuki's shoulder another pat (he doesn't hold it and he lets go when Katsuki stiffens, cuz the guy can take a hint that Katsuki doesn't like being touched by other people much right now, apparently) and tells Katsuki he's a text away if there's anything Katsuki needs him for, because he's been on enough missions to know that the come-down phase can be shit, and he's up for a late-night chat if Katsuki needs one, it won't be an inconvenience cuz All Might's usually up and already doesn't sleep too well at night anyway.

Maybe when All Might's done with it, Katsuki'll borrow 'A Dummies' Guide to How To Offer Psychological Support' too.

Sounds like the kinda shit Asshole Jeanist always wanted him to say to shitty extras who were being whiny bitches after being rescued, except that asshole seemed to think Katsuki should rack up enough niceness to be able to come up with this shit on his own, he didn't tell Katsuki there are books that let you cheat your way through it.

Katsuki says he'll think about it.

Katsuki nearly-- nearly-- checks if All Might asked his shitty double if it wanted these kinds of chats, too.

Nearly, but not quite.

All Might hasn't brought it up, so Katsuki can't himself without looking like an insecure bitch.

(Even if he is one, the fuck's he gotta look it?)

'Sides, he doesn't want to know.

If All Might liked it better, it'd mean Katsuki was the one who was wrong for minding that other people like it better, too.

It would also suck, in and of itself, cuz it already sucks losing to Deku in that field.

(Katsuki nearly asks what keeps All Might awake at night, too.)

(The words kind of stick in his throat, though, and nothing comes out.)

All Might's probably up answering his fan mail or something or putting off his grading till the last possible minute because in some ways All Might's a lot like Shitty-hair in terms of being a nice person who's shit at academics.

Katsuki really doubts All Might's up cuz his shitty instincts are worried about waking up entrapped in webbing or drowning in sludge cuz he's been caught by a sludge monster or Hands' loser ass has melted the walkway again. (He doubts All Might wonders if the villains he puts in jail are sleeping OK at night, either.)

All Might's All Might. He's a fucking pro. He worries about the 10 HP extras not the villains hurting them, and he doesn't dream about failing cuz All Might never fucking fails in the first place.

Int. UA - Class 1-A Dorms - Morning - 5:45 AM

In the end, Katsuki gets maybe 2 hours' sleep.

That's not a great record, Katsuki can allow, glaring murder at the dark shadows under his eyes in the mirror while he brushes the shit out of his teeth and murders any germs that thought they'd take up residence overnight, but it's better than no sleep, so Katsuki's making progress.

It took him 25 days to cement his shit sleeping habits so that means he gets 25 days to break them.

2 hours on day 2 is ahead of the curve, so Katsuki is winning.

Katsuki is going to keep winning.

(Fuck Hands' psycho dad for ruining what woulda been at least 5 hours, though.)

Whatever. It's whatever, and Search is whatever, too.

Katsuki doesn't go to any compromising places 'cept visiting Hands and he doesn't have weaknesses except maybe taking a bit to heat up in winter (which is the kind of shit you can deduce straight away from knowing what his quirk is, and Katsuki knows already they got his file cuz Hands said so) so that geezer ain't gonna find squat with his dumb, stolen quirk that he didn't have already. If he's wasting his time watching Katsuki, that's just one more good job Katsuki's doing by wasting 1/100th of those shitty slots, so hah.

Meantime, Katsuki has a life to level up in, a plan that he's going to stick to called 'Ignore the Shit Outta 15/20 of Class 1-A,' and a license to pass so he can rub that shit in Monoma's greasy point-stealing face and Katsuki's giving up on none of that just cuz Hands' dad's a stalkery psycho who's being a fucking creep.

So far, his plan is going smoothly.

Everybody hates mornings; ergo, Katsuki has the common room all to himself, and probably will until about 6:30 which is when Deku gets up.

That means Katsuki has 45 minutes to not be bothered by other people, so Katsuki enjoys it.

(Fuck, does Katsuki like having a tap with running water, and water that tastes clean and not like shit.)

Katsuki drinks about three cups just because he can.

He's not too sure who owns what in the fridge (nothing's labelled properly except for the nerdy triumvirate's, and Katsuki's immediately seeing problems with the 'ignore and avoid those fuckers' plan cuz he kind of needs to find out what the go is there), but the rice under the bench is labelled as 'Common Use' so Katsuki feels it's safe to assume it's UA-provided. Katsuki bought chili and seaweed and pickles while out yesterday, and about 30 mins later, Katsuki stretches out in front of a breakfast that doesn't taste like shit, that he didn't need to boil on his hands for an hour to cook first.

Katsuki eats the lot and cleans his shit up after, and then around 6:30, once there are signs that other people in Class 1-A are stirring, Katsuki calmly puts in his headphones and heads out for his morning jog.

(Fuck is it nice being able to walk without it hurting.)

Katsuki could make a list of things that are nice, really.

Clean clothes. Shoes. Being able to see the sun. Not smelling like rotting fish. Leveling up again. Not being speared by Hands' psycho dad.

The good thing about jogging is it takes exactly as long as you want it to.

Katsuki times his to get him back to the dorms by 8:15, which gives him 15 minutes to shower.

They need to be there by 8:50 for the bus, which basically means Four-eyes will bitch if anybody isn't there by 8:40.

Katsuki is there by 8:41.

Class 1-A pairs up on the seats; Katsuki claims the back row, usually empty, and stretches one foot out on one seat next to him, and puts his backpack on the other side and glares challengingly to make it clear nobody else gets to sit next to him.

(There's 20 other seats, Class 1-A don't need to sit near Katsuki.)

Sensei eyes him like Katsuki's giving him a headache, but Katsuki's got one too so Sensei can deal.

Sensei apparently decides nobody's three and he doesn't give a shit who they sit next to on the bus, and seats himself up front, crawls into his sleeping bag, and falls asleep.

Fuckin' caterpillar.

Katsuki's got a rep to keep up, unfortunately, or he'd be tempted to try and do the same.

Whatever, though.

It's going well. Plan Ignore is going well, Katsuki's listening to music, not whatever Class 1-A are gossiping about, maybe spacing out a tiny bit.

Shit's good until it isn't.

They stop for a refuel, Sensei gets out of the bus to take a call, and Katsuki's glaring kinda sightlessly at the ground when his backpack shifts, the seat next to him squashes and Katsuki's head snaps up right as Shitty-hair leans on his shoulder and says something dumb and inane like, "We were really worried about you last night, bro. Nobody would tell us anything, who was that guy? Are you okay?" looking earnest and sincere and like he actually gives a fuck and Katsuki--

He can feel his hands smoking where they're balled up into fists in his pockets-- could, for one white-hot moment have blown Shitty-hair's too-nice, dyed-red head off, he fucking wants to, cuz why the fuck does Shitty-hair think he gets to worry about Katsuki now?

He fucking doesn't.

He had his choice and he fucking chose, how dare he lean on Katsuki's shoulder when just Saturday he was leaning on Katsuki's stupid double's?

He thinks Katsuki needs him cuz of last night?

Katsuki doesn't need shit.

Shitty-hair's a tough fucker; he Hardens when Katsuki elbows him hard enough to split his fucking liver with a startled "bro?" and since Katsuki can't use his quirk on the bus that means he can't win.

But that doesn't mean Katsuki's losing.

Fuck Shitty-hair if he thinks he's going to get to win just because he's cornering Katsuki like this.

Katsuki stands, wrenching himself free, wrenching his backpack just as forcefully after him, and Shitty-hair--

(Looks like a puppy that doesn't know why it got kicked or something.)

"Bakugou?" Shitty-hair questions. "What's wrong?"

Katsuki wants to punch the stupid, questioning, uncertain look straight off Shitty-hair's face.

He can't, though.

You can't beat someone up for not picking you to be their friend.

(Well, you can, but it ain't gonna fix shit.)

There ain't a solution to not being picked except not giving a shit that you weren't and Katsuki's fucking trying. He's trying, it's Shitty-hair who ain't working with Plan Ignore.

And Katsuki could walk off this bus right now, take a taxi to the license center, he could, but it ain't gonna remove the problem (which is that Shitty-hair apparently does not get that there is one).

Katsuki can't be fucked taking a taxi anyway, he's got a fucking headache and Katsuki would probably just get kidnapped if he tried that because he's a villain magnet and getting the one shit cab driver in Musutafu who liked kidnapping 16-year-olds on Mondays would be just his fucking luck.

So, Katsuki is calm.

Katsuki is even.

Katsuki'll even remove one headphone.

"Don't fucking touch me, Shitty-hair," Katsuki says. "You don't get to touch me, you don't get to sit next to me, you don't get to ask shit about me, you can eat shit, fuck off, and die."

"Bro--?" Shitty-hair says, still questioningly, still like he doesn't get it, and there's a startled, hurt look on his stupid face like he stepped wrong on a staircase or something; bit sick, bit confused, and like he still doesn't have a fucking clue what's happening or why.

(Cuz he doesn't.)

(He doesn't get it and he never will.)

(The fuck would he, he's nice, he wouldn't give a shit if there were two of him, he'd be friends with himself if there were, be fucking besties, and Katsuki--)

He just doesn't like it.

He doesn't like it, he doesn't like feeling like this, and he doesn't like Shitty-hair.

"Bakugou? You're being weird, bro, you OK?" Shitty-hair says, half-standing, too, and--

Yeah, no, Katsuki's not doing this.

Not now, not later, not ever.

Frog-face is a few seats ahead. Con, she's in the window seat. Pro, the grape is next to her.

1. The grape hasn't got that strong of a spine, which makes the grape an easy target.

2. He's all right as a hero. As a person, he's a creep who likes to stare and he'll do more than stare if he gets the chance and nobody kicks him in the shins. Ergo, nobody female likes sitting next to him, ergo, nobody is going to side with him if Katsuki bullies him into moving.

Katsuki advances.

"Swap seats, Ball-head."

"Um," the grape says, clutching his seatbelt firmly, looking a tiny bit mutinous.

Clearly, he ain't liking the idea of swapping Frog-face for Shitty-hair. Sucks for him, he ain't getting a choice. He's the weakest person on the bus which makes him the easiest target, it's nothing personal. Katsuki's got two choices of people who didn't pick his clone and aren't Deku on this bus. Ponytail's next to Icyhot, she ain't an option to sit with cuz Icyhot ain't gonna budge an inch if he's bullied, he'll only shift to be nice if he's asked.

The grape still isn't reading the room, so Katsuki helps him out a bit.

"Move or I'll fucking make you," Katsuki clarifies. "I won't even explode you, Ball-head, I'll wait till the bus is moving and I'll pluck you outta the seat and throw your ass out the fuckin' window. You seriously want today to be the day you find out if you got enough HP to fuckin' bounce?"

"Bro--" Shitty-hair says, "That's..."

"Mean?" Lightning-rod helps him out.

"You can't just threaten to kill people, bro," Tape-arms says, protesting.

(Raccoon-eyes says nothing, even though she's also part of the Uno crowd and should be aligning with the rest of that group for solidarity. None of the females are saying anything about this move. Even the lawful-neutral end of the bus (like Bird-head) and the nice end of the bus (like Deku who will normally grow a spine the moment Katsuki's mean to someone who isn't him) ain't saying shit about this cuz Katsuki called this shit dead right that the grape has zero allies there.)

Course he doesn't.

Katsuki's a pro at picking victims.

(Deku could tell them that's yet another thing Katsuki does A+.)

Katsuki takes another threatening step forward, makes sure he juts his chin out menacingly, and lets his hands glow yellow-red.

The grape makes a small, pained noise, wilting, before resignedly unbuckling his seatbelt and scooting off to go sit next to Lightning-rod, who makes a sympathetic noise and pats him on the shoulder and listens sympathetically to the whining that Katsuki tunes out.

There's kind of an awkward air on the bus.

Nobody seems to quite know what to say.

Well, everyone can suck it up and deal, nobody's having fun here. Katsuki barely even knows this bitch, she's Deku's friend, the only things she's got going for her are secreting poison and being up for nuking his double. Katsuki knows fuck-all else about her except that she's friends with Lizard from Zombie-man's school, this is embarrassing and it sucks for him, too.

"...Kero?" Frog-face questions, kinda eying him doubtfully, when Katsuki seats himself.

"Got a problem sitting next to me, Frog-face?" Katsuki checks, glaring at her.

"Kero," Frog-face says neutrally, which could basically mean anything.

"Good," Katsuki decides to interpret, turning around a bit so he's glaring at Shitty-hair, too. "I don't have a problem sitting next to you, either, Frog-face, cuz you don't like some shitty, nice, fake version of me better than me, and you didn't lean on its shoulder and fucking play Uno with it and cry over it dying and call it your fucking bro."

Shitty-hair kinda looks like Katsuki's kicked him in the guts.

Message received.

Good.

Sucks a bit, there's a part of Katsuki that doesn't like that he's the reason Shitty-hair looks like that, but it'll stop sucking soon, and if Katsuki turns back around and keeps looking ahead, Katsuki won't have to see it, will he? Nobody's making him look. Katsuki imagines Shitty-hair'll get sympathy from Katsuki's double if he tells him about this. They probably got each other's numbers. That's what Katsuki'd be doing if he was mud and had to leave UA and knew Shitty-hair liked him better.

Frog-face isn't much for convo.

Neither's Katsuki, so he's basically as well off as he would have been in the back. Katsuki's free to admire the floor, ignore Shitty-hair trying to telepathically communicate by staring puppy-dog eyes into his skull (it's a decent strategy, but gaze attacks only work if you can get the target to look at you, sucks to suck, Katsuki's not looking around) relax a bit into his music, and think about fun shit like his upcoming test and to maybe worry a bit about if Hands' loser ass is/isn't going to manage to escape today.

(Maybe worry a bit, too, about the police.

They were annoying, but they weren't shit. Most of 'em had photos of kids on their desks.

Katsuki doesn't like them much, but he doesn't want them dead.)

Ah well.

That's the HPSC's problem.

They got the head's up-- they probably have it covered.

Hopefully All Might's on standby.

(But not too on standby or Hands ain't gonna get away. Katsuki doesn't want Hands dead.)

Least his evil dad's got his back. Katsuki'd back that boss over the police.

The fuck's the loser waiting till Monday, though, for his rescue?

Katsuki's still trying to work that shit out an hour later when the bus stops and they finally get to the site of their fucking test, at which point, Katsuki's got more immediate concerns like passing said test, avoiding Deku, and avoiding Shitty-hair to worry about.

(Hands is a tough-ass and All Might will look after the police.)

(Everything'll be fucking fine.)

Int. Provisional License Test Site - Morning

Because the HPSC's brains work in weird ways, Test 1 is a game of fucking dodgeball.

Because being able to dodge balls and hit small targets is, in some way, apparently correlated to how well you can save shitty extras and murder villains.

What the fuck, Katsuki wonders.

It is what it is though.

Deku, who has All Might to impress and who therefore cares nearly as much about being number one and not failing here today as Katsuki does, drops all attempts at D&M in favor of focusing the moment they walk inside the complex.

Shitty-hair, who has never given a single shit about his grades or his ranking in his life, makes it clear he still doesn't give a shit about them, and is gonna stick to Katsuki like glue if he gets half a chance, probably try to talk if Katsuki splits himself from the herd when he should be focusing on trying to fucking win.

Fucking dumbass.

Does he think UA are the only elites here?

He's gonna fail if he keeps that shit up, Katsuki didn't tell him that shit on the bus to make him fail, Katsuki just wanted him to stick to the BFF he fucking picked and leave Katsuki the fuck alone.

Whatever.

Katsuki counters Shitty-hair's intentions by not splitting off from the herd, even though the herd are a flock of sitting ducks for the other schools and even though the herd contains Deku.

The herd is split anyway when some random jerk from another school blows up the ground; Katsuki sticks to Frog-face, and that has the advantage of lumping him in the same party as Ponytail. That's none of the Uno tournament crowd and both the people who aren't Deku and do like him better than his clone. Katsuki'd abandon their asses now he's lost Shitty-hair, except that nobody in this group is DPS. Ears, Ponytail and Frog-face are all support and Octo's a tank, and obviously the people who picked Katsuki over his shitty double need to pass. It's not like they need him to pass, any more than he needs them, but you don't sign up for group dungeons with 3 support units and a tank if you can do it with 1 DPS, 3 supports and a tank.

Except.

This turns out to be not quite true.

Would be, if they were up against a tank or another DPS, maybe, but what they're up against ends up being some support unit with a mental quirk that makes her the kind of person Principle Nedzu would probably love to play chess with, but not a person you can explode buildings with.

Katsuki blows up no buildings, which sucks.

He ends up being basically a glorified heater, since about the only useful role he plays in the five of them passing is having hands that heat up when the tea lady bitch messes with the air-con and the room starts to freeze.

(Katsuki'll need to grudgingly reconsider the shit DPS assessment. Ponytail and Ears have been holding back, too; that sonic AOE wasn't terrible for an improvised attack.)

Least he's not alone on the doing-fuck-all-to-pass front. Frog-face doesn't do shit either, she's basically as bad as Hands is when it comes to how much she likes Katsuki's hands in that freezing room. She sits inside Octo's little cocoon thing and Katsuki leans against a wall and glares at the ceiling just to make sure he doesn't look soft doing this and sticks one of his hand in there to warm up her; keeps the other hand out to be a heater for the rest of 'em. It's basically on auto, he's got making heat pads outta his hands down to a science by now, he could basically do this shit in his sleep, and Frog-face kinda stops shivering, kinda curls around it like the only reason she isn't physically holding it's because she's just borderline-hypothermic, not dumb, and she knows the shit they drip's explosive. (Whatd'ya know? All that time in the sewers was useful for something. There's hope Katsuki can persuade Sensei to dump the rest of them in there as a training exercise yet.)

Katsuki's shit levels of paranoia do let him spot that one bitch who wasn't immobilized by the Ears/Ponytail stun AOE hiding behind the door as they walk out, so Katsuki gets to beat 1 person into submission, which is better than beating up nobody.

That's basically all that can be said for test 1.

Icyhot's already passed. That sucks, Katsuki wanted to pass first, but he beats Deku, so hah.

Katsuki lounges against the wall in a corner, enjoys the food, and hopes he'll get to show off more in Round 2.

A few random other trainees come over over the course of the next hour or so.

Fuckin' assholes, the fuck do they think Katsuki wants to talk to them?

He's in the corner chilling out cuz he doesn't want to talk to people, the fuck are they trying to smile and talk to him about how it went and how it wasn't what they were expecting based on what their Senpai's told them it was going to be?

It changes every year, of course it wasn't gonna be. Dumb fucks.

They tell him as his Senpais he should probably work on his attitude when he tells them so.

Who the fuck asked them?

Katsuki ain't telling them to fix their shitty wardrobe choices or their condescending asshole faces, the fuck do they want him to fix his 4/20 human being-ness?

They fuck off eventually.

The only stand-out is the dumb Shiketsu Whirlwind guy they met outside the bus on the way in who bowed so hard he split his head open and glared at Icyhot like he hated him.

He's clearly circulating, looking for a dumb fucker who'll let him monologue to them about Passion, but he ain't Hands, Katsuki doesn't give a shit about passion, and Katsuki abandons him with a grunt mid-monologue and gets himself another drink and a refill on the rice cakes.

The guy takes it in his stride and moves on to the next victim.

He looks tough; Katsuki's pretty sure he overheard someone say earlier back at the bus that this guy beat Icyhot once. Katsuki wants to fight him, not be monologued at by him or be friends with him. The guy looks like he'd be up for a fight, too, but the asshole has picked Icyhot to be rivals with not Katsuki, so Katsuki probably won't get to unless he makes him.

Sucks. Katsuki'd be up for it, but while he's not sure how this whole test thing's graded, he's pretty sure you don't get marks for beating up another hero-in-training in the anteroom.

Int. Provisional License Test - Disaster Simulation Zone - Afternoon

The explosion’s fine.

Shit happens, heroes deal, Katsuki guesses, is the theme here.

HPSC wanna see how they deal.

Flying sufficiently fast is sufficient to lose Shitty-hair when there's shitty extras around pretending they need saving to distract him, so that's what Katsuki does; heads for the mountain zone cuz that's furthest away and Four-eyes, maybe Deku, are the only other people with the speed to make the walk take 5 mins instead of 30.

(Or 2 days if you're Hands.)

Fuck is it nice to be flying and not walking.

The shitty extras pretending (badly-- they're not actually injured, Katsuki can tell they're fine, the fuck's he supposed to give a shit about their pretend injuries? Katsuki wouldn't give a shit about their real ones) are kind of expected. Obviously, in a hero exam, they're gonna test shit like how you save people, and obviously nobody is actually going to have their real leg broken just so the RPG element can feel more immersive.

Sensei's about the only person who'd stab himself in the leg to make acting out rescuing him easier.

The downside of there being no Shitty-hair here is that Katsuki's gotta interact with these fuckers himself.

Reassurance + competence, Asshole Jeanist says. (And don't call them bitches.)

Katsuki can do this.

The first two Katsuki finds are fake-acting people who can walk and are fine but are being bitches anyway about nothing, so Katsuki tells them they can quit bitching (not that they are bitches) and that they can fucking hoof it to the medical station over there where things like families can be called and cuts can be disinfected, they're fucking fine and you can hoof it even if you're not, they can pick up a stick to lean on or something, it ain't that hard walking on a sprained angle with a couple of shitty cuts for the 5-6 k's it is to the First Aid station.

Reassurance, tick.

Accurate assessment, tick.

Katsuki drips explosives, he obviously carries none of these 10 HP extras anywhere, but he tells the shitty extras he finds who are pretending to be dying how to light a flare to get help and not die or whatever. (Don't yank the rebar out of somebody's side when they're pinned by it is always a good start to not killing them. Make a pad out of your clothes, hold it firmly against the wound, don't fucking wait for a hero to get there to do that shit for you, heroes are fucking busy, if you're 10+ and not paralyzed you're responsible for saving your own life too so fucking make life easier for the people trying to save you, yeah? They got arms. Even if they're sim. rescue victims not real ones they're still pending to be IC, so the fuck aren't they doing this for themselves already? Any real person dying would.)

He ain't got a clue what the HPSC are hoping to assess with this shit, a few of them tell him his bedside manner sucks (the fucking assholes, they wouldn't give a shit about that if they were actually dying instead of just pretending to be) but he doesn't think he gets anything wrong, so whatever it is, he's pretty sure he's passed.

Then there's a fucking explosion.

(For a moment, Katsuki thinks it's USJ all over again or something; Hands escaped and came here with some nomu to monologue. Sort of thing the loser would do.)

But it ain't the LOV, Katsuki can make out Gang Orca if he squints having fun pretending to be evil and and Icyhot, Whirlwind and Deku are down there too showing off and getting all the glory fighting him. 

Fuckin' assholes.

Katsuki's envious.

If Katsuki flew fast, could he get there before Gang Orca's flattened?

(Or would that be losing marks, cuz that whale's just the Number 10 and Icyhot and Deku could probably take All Might and Whirlwind ain't bad himself, and so Katsuki would be showing shit judgement and not actually providing backup, he'd just be joining in that fight to have fun?)

Katsuki's still deciding when the air splits into purple mist and Warp-gate materializes into existence in front of him.

(Not as a gate-- as a fucking person. He's in fucking butler mode, he's even wearing a waistcoat.)

Warp-gate looks at Katsuki, Katsuki looks at Warp-gate, and Warp-gate’s fucking dumb for being here cuz Katsuki is stronger than he is and Katsuki can and will fucking flatten him.

But Warp-gate doesn't attack, he scuffs a shoe.

He scuffs his fucking leather-shooed foot in the simulation dirt and that right there makes Katsuki pause before blowing the shit outta him cuz why the fuck is Hands’ butler/tutor/minion looking awkward near Katsuki?

“I have—” Warp-gate says smoothly, into the pause. “a situation.”

Katsuki shouldn't give a fuck about his situation.

He shouldn't.

But Hands is jailbreaking today and his evil dad fucking told Katsuki and Katsuki's brain cat is a fucking compromised bitch and it doesn't like that the LOV have a 'situation.'

"Hands all right?"

Warp-gate relaxes slightly.

(Probably takes that as, he's not gonna get blasted into the next life today, the fucking asshole. He shouldn't fucking relax that option ain't off the agenda all it is is shifted down it.)

“That is indeed the situation. Young Master Tomura is— somewhat tired, post-rescue, but says he requires a heat lamp to sleep.”

(Post-rescue? Fuck, the loser did get away?

Was All Might not on standby?

Did anyone die?)

“Sounds like him,” Katsuki allows, grudgingly eying off Warp-gate. “The fuck’s the problem, your shitty evil lair out of power or something?”

“We have power. But the Young Master says,” Warp-gate sounds slightly pained here, maybe a bit like Sensei does when Deku's giving him a headache, “that the four heat lamps I have tried so far are the wrong temperature, that they are not the right shape, and I am ‘not the same.’”

Katsuki makes a tiny, strangled sound. (Maybe embarrassment.)

Katsuki’s in the middle of a fucking test.

He’s meant to be pretending to rescue people pretending to be shitty extras who need to be rescued. Cuz acting as well as dodgeball are assessable hero skills.

He's not supposed to be listening to Hands' shitty tutor reporting on how Hands' sleepy post-rescue ass is apparently missing Katsuki's hands.

“The Master said that you would possibly be able to advise us here.”

(This fucking bitch.)

(He fucking tried to spike Katsuki not even 12 hours ago, the fuck's he get to call in favours?)

“Please?” Warp-gate says, like he and Katsuki are acquaintances or something and have not tried to kill/kidnap each other the only other two times they’ve ever chatted with each other in the same room. “We would not require a long visit; merely a demonstration so that we can acquire the correct heat lamp.”

Katsuki is a hero.

He's a fucking hero.

“I ain’t walking straight into a second kidnapping, if that’s what you’re hoping for there,” Katsuki scowls.

“This isn’t a kidnapping,” Warp-gate promises. “We will return you after. No harm will come to you.”

No harm comes to Katsuki anyway from Hands.

(He’s not saying no.)

(The fuck isn’t he saying no?)

Cuz the shitty loser misses him and his side are here saying please and asking instead of just kidnapping (Katsuki kinda appreciates he can maybe say no here if he doesn't want to) and Katsuki (a little bit, not in a compromised way, not in a nuking-his-rep way) possibly misses him back. Some shit combo of the above, mainly that last point, and Katsuki’s gonna bomb this shitty test, he deserves to fail cuz what kind of hero fucking misses their evening monologue and wants to walk into an evil lair so they can be looked at like they matter and get their brain cat stroked by a villain who probably needs the gummy crone, not a fucking heat lamp?)

He should be fucking calling it in, not seriously considering this.

The fuck point is there in calling it in, though?

Rationally, what is the fucking point?

Katsuki called it in last time, and, sure, Katsuki's phone pinged an hour ago to tell him he's 5 million yen richer, so Katsuki profits if he does that, but nobody is one fucking inch safer.

(Not even Hands, cuz his side can't even get him a decent heat lamp.)

(If they aren't lying.)

They could be filming this or something. Katsuki's aware, on a practical level, it's not going to look good if this kind of shit gets out.

But, they have shapeshifters on their side and everyone knows that, so even if they are filming this, there's no way to prove this is him.

('Cept Katsuki's not that good at lying, so if they ask he'll say yes and then he'll be fucked.)

(He's fucked anyway, he wants to go is the trouble. If he didn't it wouldn't be a problem.)

"...This really ain't some shit attempt at a kidnapping?" Katsuki checks.

If it's not, is there any way Katsuki can spin this that won't end up with Katsuki in jail if he goes?

Down below, Whirlwind looks like he's fighting Icyhot instead of Gang Orca. Deku's screaming at both of them, probably cuz the nerd's worked out already what this whole shitty test is being graded on (Katsuki hasn't, but even he can see that nuking your own side instead of the villain ain't gonna get you a pass, not every teacher's as biased as All Might is and will let you get away with that shit) and he's probably taking it personally that they're nuking their grades cuz Deku's 20/20 niceness and wants everyone to be winners.

Deku's got a point even so.

You can fight anytime, Icyhot and Whirlwind both seem like rich kids who can afford to take a taxi later to get to one or other of their parents' private properties to duel on, what the fucking fuck? Even Katsuki times his fights to not be right in front of the teachers who aren't All Might, cuz All Might's the only teacher in UA who'll let you beat the shit out of other people. You can't just assume that because someone's a pro hero they won't mind if you do that, that's fucking dumb.

(It doesn't look like they'll be done with that any time soon.)

(Which means Katsuki can-- possibly-- assess shit without him being gone even being noticed.)

It's not like he's aiding and abetting or anything. He won't even know where their stupid lair is, assuming they're smart and nuke his phone's GPS, and Hands' side is pretty up on killing signals and VPNs. (Obviously he's not going to tell them that, if they're dumb and do let him know he'll obviously call it in and that'll be on them.)

That makes it okay.

Maybe?

Kinda?

Katsuki's sure he can find a lawyer who'll argue that for him, anyway, if he needs to.

Lots of shit lawyers exist. The old hag knows plenty.

(It's a shit excuse, Katsuki fucking knows what he's doing, this ain't just visiting villains in jail.)

This ain't deworming Hands cuz Katsuki's a pro.

There ain't one single thing professional about what he's considering doing.

But it's not like anyone is going to die because Hands gets a heat lamp and can sleep at night.

His shitty double was nuking shit anyway, Hands being back around will probably mean shitty extras actually end up being nuked less cuz Hands knows Katsuki doesn't like him killing shit, and the HPSC already can't hold the real Hands for even one fucking working day when he is turned in so there wasn't gonna be any justice for his victims or any job training/therapy, and his bounty wasn't gonna be being paid off anyway.

Katsuki's never gonna get to see him again if he waits till the loser stays in jail to visit him, not when the loser's got a yandere dad worse than Auntie Inko and the old hag combined for monitoring his kid's life and sticking his oar in when shit makes his kid unhappy. The fuck's Katsuki gotta not get to see him again just cuz the HPSC suck at holding onto his ass and his dad's a creep?

He's not that much of a creep.

Katsuki can deal with the occasional one shot attempt, he's got good reflexes, and it's not like anything about his life is private anyway.

Okay, the guy's a shit psycho who probably wants to monitor Katsuki's weakness status, not just get the heat lamp specs for Hands, but Katsuki's a hero, Hands is a villain and he's probably worried, and that's what you do when you're worried about your kids. It ain't like Katsuki's old hag or Auntie Inko wouldn't be doing the same if they could, they'd love it if Katsuki and Deku installed those apps that let your parents track you, and Auntie Inko probably wishes she could control who Deku hangs out with cuz if she did she'd make Deku pick better friends and make him follow Icyhot around and not Katsuki.

You can't stop your parents from being embarrassing fucks. Goes with the job description, like smearing glycerin on your burns when you're five and making you soup on your birthday and nagging you about your grades and telling you you need to not be shit to Tears or Deku or you're gonna end up in fucking jail.

"Bakugou?" Warp-gate presses.

(Fucking bitch. It's his career he's maybe jeopardizing for Hands' shit sleeping habits, Katsuki gets to think about this a bit before he just says yes. Hands is just being a bitch it's not like the loser is dying.)

They're still fighting down below.

Icyhot and Whirlwind are still fucking fighting each other.

(Fuck, Katsuki's pretty sure they just nearly nuked some shitty extra.)

Deku's got shit sorted down there though.

Probably getting a kick out of getting to actually save someone instead've just pretending to.

(Nobody's paying attention to Katsuki. The fuck would they? He's supposed to be safe to ignore, they fucking trust him to look after himself and do what he very much isn't doing right now and call it in if he's getting stalked by a Warp-gate.)

...Has the loser even slept at all since Friday?

(Probably not and he probably hasn't had his shitty injuries looked after either cuz he doesn't look after himself and his side doesn't have a healer and they probably think that wounds are just meant to ooze and scar and that the moxibustion shit people do in the old hag's dramas for their stab wounds is A+ wound treatment and that fucking sucks.)

“...Fine,” Katsuki says.

It is fine.

Probably.

Kinda.

(It's not fine, he's compromised as fuck and once Sensei catches him he's dead.)

((Shit. Does this count as a thing UA would not approve of that Katsuki should tell Sensei about even if he's not caught?))

(((Katsuki hopes not, but he's got a sinking feeling it might.)))

Chapter Text

Int. Abandoned Warehouse - Afternoon - 3:36 PM

It's an hour post rescue, and Tomura is curled into a ball of hostile misery in the corner, debating whether or not this dank pillow he's lying on and the itching blankets chafing his arms need to die or whether what scant comfort they do give him is enough to merit them a pardon when the air splits purple with a dull whoosh to say that Kurogiri is coming back with heat lamp number 5.

Forty-five minutes ago, there'd also been a bed in this room. Forty-two minutes ago, Tomura decided the bed was too soft so Tomura decayed it and now he has a hard, dusty corner to feel miserable in instead.