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Chapter Text

The team constantly make fun of Tony for having snacks hidden around his lab. He keeps bags of fruits and sweets laid on desks and on books, but the team never know why. They think it’s just another ‘Tony’ quirk and leave it at that.

But one day, Clint was bored and thought it would be fun to take all the treats, unbeknownst to the billionaire who was on day five of a working streak.

Steve, who had just gotten back from his week-long mission, was anxious to see his husband who he’d been super worried about. He hadn’t been allowed to contact Tony while he’d been away- Fury’s orders- and knew Tony gets extra stressed when he was gone.

Steve left his bags in the elevator in the rush to find his husband to sweep him off his feet. He frowned when he entered the common room to see all the Avengers, sans Tony, at the table eating lunch.

“Hey Steve!” Several of them greeted.

“Hey, where’s Tony?” Steve asked immediately.

“Haven’t seen the guy for several days,” Client shrugged.

“Yeah, he’s been working in the lab,” Bruce added.

“Has anyone checked on him?” Steve asked, eyes narrowed.

They all looked at each other for a second. “I did drop off some papers three days ago,” Bruce frowned.

Steve’s mouth formed a straight line before he turned to go back into the elevator.

“Workshop, Jarvis,” Steve asked.

He frowned when there was neither a response or movement from the elevator.

“Jarvis?” He called, receiving no answer.

Steve felt on edge as he pressed the manual button to bring him to the workshop.

His eyes widened when the doors opened. Papers were thrown everywhere, the bots were spinning in circles, and there was random beeping from several half-finished machines. Tony sat in the middle of it all, surrounded by papers.

“Tones?” Steve called, approaching his husband slowly.

Tony continued to mutter to himself. His face was creased firmly in thought and his mouth was moving a mile a second. As Steve got closer, he grew concerned at the thick layer of sweat on Tony’s face and his noticeable trembling.

“Baby?” Steve asked, kneeling in front of him.

Finally, Tony looked up. “Stevie! What are you doing back? I thought you were going to be gone a week, it’s only been two days.”

“No, it’s been a week, Tones,” Steve said slowly.

Tony frowned into the floor. In seconds, he lost focus and went back to muttering about power levels and electromagnetic pulses.

“Tones?” Steve called gently. He moved a bit closer to Tony and reached for his hands. He noticed they were shaking badly.

“Hmm?” Tony hummed.

Steve cupped both of his hands before smoothingly them gently.

“Are you feeling okay?” Steve looked into his eyes which were glazed and red.

“Mhmmm,” Tony hummed.

“Let’s stand up and go upstairs, okay?” Steve said softly. He stood up and reached to pull Tony up, but jumped when Tony’s knees collapsed under him. “Baby, when’s the last time you ate?” He asked, lowering Tony to the ground.

“I dunno,” Tony responded, blinking quickly.

Steve sat him up against the table when Tony swayed, almost falling over. He grabbed his phone and texted Bruce. After sending the message, he stood up and walked around looking for the snacks Tony keeps around his workshop. He frowned when he couldn’t find any.

“Tony, where are all your snacks?” He asked the man who was focusing hard on sitting up.

“I dunno, on the desk?” He answered, dazed.

“There aren’t any here. Did you eat all of them?” Steve asked.

“No.”

Steve looked around once more before giving up. The snacks had disappeared. He turned back to Tony when he heard a gagging sound.

Tony was extremely pale and now his stomach was rebelling against him. Steve empties a bucket of tools before thrusting it under Tony’s mouth just in time. Nothing came up but stomach acid, further supporting the fact that Tony hadn’t eaten all week.

Steve, noticing Tony getting less lucid, moved to sit behind him with Tony’s head on his chest. Bruce, followed by the rest of the team, came running in just as he was wiping off Tony’s mouth.

Bruce kneeled in front of them. “Here,” he said, handing Steve a chocolate chip cookie.

“Open, Tones,” Steve commanded gently, placing a piece of the cookie into Tony’s mouth. By this point, Tony’s eyes were closed and his head lolled on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve and Bruce coaxed Tony’s limp body into eating the cookie by pushing his chin to chew before rubbing his throat to help him swallow. They continuedl this until the cookie was finished and they followed it up with a glass of orange juice. After the cookie was finished, Tony’s eyes opened into slits and he reached a shaky hand up to hold the glass, but Steve gently pushed his hand down and continued feeding him.

After several minutes, Tony felt less like he was going to collapse and was able to blink himself awake.

“Tones, we discuss this all the time, you need to keep snacks down here and replace them when you’ve eaten them all,” Steve chided.

“I swear they were here a few days ago.” Tony pouted.

“That would be my fault,” Clint spoke up, wincing. “I removed all the snacks as a prank.”

“Clint,” Steve rolled his eyes, “Tony needs those snacks. He has low blood sugar and sometimes forgets to eat, so he needs to eat them or he’s blood sugar will crash- like it did today.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” Clint frowned.

“It’s okay. We shouldn’t expect much from you...I mean you are a birdbrain,” Tony smirked, gaining some color in his face.

“Hey!” Clint pouted.

The team laughed.

“You’re still in trouble too mister!” Steve chided. “You are supposed to go upstairs to eat at least two meals a day. And do not turn off Jarvis, he is supposed to be monitoring you!”

“He kept turning off my music!” Tony whined.

Steve glared.

“Fine,” Tony pouted, rolling his eyes. He recited the access code which immediately started up Jarvis’ systems.

“Not cool, sir,” Jarvis deadpanned.

The team laughed.

From then on, every member of the team had felt it their duty to make sure Tony was eating. Each would take turns going down to fetch him for meals, and they even hid their own snacks around the lab for Tony to find when he was hungry.

The team would take care of their little genius even if he forgot to take care of himself sometimes.

Chapter Text

Tony was always a picky eater. With his neglectful parents, he didn’t find out until he was older that it was not natural to throw up after every other meal. 

When he started college, his diet shifted drastically- ramen noodles and cereal were all he had time to consume. He knew he was hurting himself, but he was too distracted by all the cool toys and technology. 

Unfortunately though, when Rhodey found him passed out in his lab at MIT surrounded by his own vomit, he was rushed to the hospital. He stayed there for a week with a feed tube shoved down his nose and he fought the staff every step of the way. He hated it. 

Despite his displeasure, his discomfort had decreased significantly after his stay. The drugs they gave him made his stomach more tolerant and he was to follow a specific diet. Because he responded well to the treatment he did not need a permanent feeding tube, which Tony was happy about, but every few months he would be forced to use a temporary one when his stomach wouldn’t obey. The disorder wasn’t gone, but the medicine helped. Still he had good days and bad days. 

When he woke up feeling like someone was stabbing him in the stomach, he knew today was not going to be a good one. He couldn’t stop the tears that dripped and the small whimpers as he tried to shift in bed.

“No, baby.” He heard a sleepy voice mutter in response to his whimpers. Soon his head was pressed against a muscled chest and a hand was going through his hair. “Is it your tummy?”

Tony nodded pitifully into the warm chest. He squeezed his eyes closed and clenched the bed sheets to contrast his clenched stomach. 

“Stevie, wake up.” Tony felt shifting behind him. “Stevie!”

“I’m up, I’m up,” Steve said, jumping up. “What happened?” 

Tony turned to look at his sleepy-voiced boyfriend and couldn’t but laugh. Steve’s hair was pointing every which way, his eyes were more closed than open, and the shirt he insisted on sleeping with was almost sideways. Tony’s laughter diverted into a groan when another cramp hit him. 

“Aw, Tony baby,” Steve said, face melting. 

“I got him,” Bucky said to Steve, cuddling Tony even closer. 

Steve nodded and ran out the room.

“Need to eat, ate too much, ate something bad, or something else?” Bucky asked the common question. 

Tony shook his head. He couldn’t even comprehend the problem through the pain. It hadn’t felt this bad for several months. “I don’t know,” he cried. 

Bucky sighed and shifted Tony so he was laying in his arms. He then started massaging Tony’s tense stomach, feeling the muscles clenched tightly. Tony groaned but didn’t ask him to stop. He kept his eyes closed and focused on Bucky’s light but firm touch as he rubbed smooth circles on his stomach. 

Steve came back into the room with his arms full of pills, gatorade, heat packs, and chamomile tea. “You want a heat pack baby?” Steve asked softly. 

Tony nodded with his eyes closed. Steve handed the heat pack to Bucky who laid it across their boyfriend’s slender stomach and they both watched as Tony melted into the sheets. Steve sat down at the end of the bed, both boys watching Tony anxiously, but they let out a breath when his breaths evened out and he fell to sleep. 

“He should have taken a pill,” Bucky said. 

“You know he doesn’t like to take those until he absolutely has to because it gives him migraines,” Steve huffed. 

Bucky sighed and resumed playing with Tony’s soft hair. “He’s so little.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Steve smiled. He too loved Tony’s petiteness. It seemed he fit between them perfectly like a puzzle piece, or maybe an oreo- a super soldier oreo. They each could wrap their whole hand around Tony’s upper arm and they found it hilarious to Tony’s dismay. Even with Tony’s frequent workouts, he would never match the bulkiness of his super soldier boyfriends. 

“Can you tell Bruce that Tony isn’t feeling well? He should check up on him later,,” Bucky whispered. 

Steve pouted. “Fine, but I get Tony cuddles when he wakes up.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and pointed at the door. When the door closed he looked back down at Tony. Even in his sleep his eyebrows were creased in pain. He pulled Tony closer and let his own eyes fall closed. 

__________________________

Bucky woke to someone calling to the bundle in his arms. 

“Tones, it's lunch time. Come on baby, you gotta get up,” Steve whispered into the dark room. 

Bucky yawned before tapping Tony lightly. “Tones?”

Tony whined, curling further into Bucky. 

Bucky frowned when he felt the wetness on his chest. He pulled Tony gently away from him. Tony’s shirt was soaked with sweat and his skin was warm. “Steve, can you get him a change of clothes and text Bruce?” He asks. 

Steve stares down at Tony worriedly but nods. 

Bucky picks up the sleepy Tony and drags them both to the end of the bed. He sits them up, letting Tony’s sleepy body lean against his chest. 

“How do you feel baby? Do you feel sick?” Bucky whispered into Tony’s ear. 

Tony rubbed his eyes sleepily. “No, I'm just cold.”

“Are you hungry?” Bucky asked. 

“No, I ate a lot yesterday,” Tony said, nuzzling into Bucky’s neck. “My stomach hurts.”

Bucky melted at Tony’s whine. “Okay, lets change your clothes and get some fresh air.”

Tony was quiet while Bucky removed his clothes. He tried to curl into himself as the cold air hit him, but Steve returned and helped Bucky put the new clothes onto him. He vaguely realized he was wearing Bucky’s sweatpants and Steve’s hoodie. Both boys admired how swamped and tiny he looked in their clothes while Tony smiled at the new warmth. 

Steve grabbed Tony from Bucky’s arms and carried him bridal style into the communal room. Bruce had set up the couch with pillows and blankets so Steve laid Tony down gently. Tony, now wide awake, clenched his stomach as the cramps had started again. 

Steve kneeled next to him to massage his stomach while Bucky walked over to Bruce who stood in the kitchen. 

“I have some soup for him. I mixed in the medicine already,” Bruce said, handing Bucky a bowl. 

“He said he’s not hungry,” Bucky said, handing the bowl back. 

“I don’t care if he’s hungry or not. Jarvis said he hasn’t eaten a full meal for three days. He needs to eat or he’s going to get sick,” Bruce frowned. 

Bucky froze. “What? But Steve and I make meals for him every day.”

“Sir has been vomiting after every consumption of food for the past 72 hours,” Jarvis answered in a low volume. 

Bucky closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. After taking a breath, he snatched the bowl from Bruce and marched over to Steve and Tony on the couch. “Sit up,” he commanded Tony. 

Tony opened his eyes from where they were scrunched up in pain. He eyed the soup and his lip started wobbling. “Please, no.”

“Yes. You promised to tell us if you were having stomach issues, which you have had for the past three days, and didn’t tell us,” Bucky said angrily. 

“I didn’t want to worry you,” Tony said in a small voice. 

“Lay off, Bucky. He’s not feeling well,” Steve said softly. 

“No, he should have told us he wasn’t feeling well. Now open up,” Bucky said flatly. 

“Please, i’m not hungry,” Tony cried. 

“You have to try, open up,” Bucky said again. He scooped up a spoonful of soup and brought it to Tony’s mouth. 

Starring hard into Bucky’s steel face, Tony opened his mouth slightly, letting his upset boyfriend feed him the soup. Immediately, Tony gagged at the horrible taste, but a look from Bucky made him swallow it down. Everyone in the room heard Tony’s stomach groan. 

By the tenth spoonful, Tony was crying silently as Bucky fed him. Steve had sat on the couch next to him, holding him in his arms, but he could only focus on his hurting stomach, the horrible tasting medicine-soup, and his upset boyfriend. 

Suddenly though, his stomach gave up on its groaning and decided to revolt. There was no time to warn Bucky as vomit traveled up his throat and poured out his mouth. Steve gasped as sick covered Tony’s front and lap and Bucky’s shirt. Bucky stood frozen. 

Tony couldn’t even process their reactions as his body heaved over and over. His throat burned painfully and his stomach muscles clenched as he dry-heaved. Bruce had run over to replace Bucky who had run off and ripped off his shirt. 

“Deep breaths, Tony,” Bruce encouraged as his face turned red. 

His body was continuously heaving even though there was nothing else to bring up. It was painful and Steve’s arms around him were the only thing keeping him up. He was silently crying, but let out a loud sob as his body finished dry heaving. 

Bruce handed him some water, but Steve’s large hand had to curl over his shaky one in order to not drop the bottle. 

One sip sent his body immediately back into dry heaves. Bruce’s eyes widened and he jumped up to get his medical kit. 

Steve rubbed his back as he cried and kept a steady hand on his stomach. “It’s okay, baby. You’re okay,” he whispered. 

When Tony’s body finished its revolt, he collapsed back against Steve, exhausted and hurting. “Is B-Bucky mad a-at me?” Tony hiccuped. 

“No baby, of course not. He’s just upset at the situation. We don’t like seeing you hurting,” Steve explained. 

Tony squeezed his eyes shut and melted further into Steve’s hold. He stayed limp as Steve removed his vomit-stained hoodie. 

When Bruce came back and knelt in front of him with a long tube- Tony lost it. 

“Please, no. Please, no. Please, Brucie!” Tony cried, squirming in Steve’s hold. 

Bruce looked stricken. “I’m sorry Tones, but it’s only until the meds start working and you can eat again,” he said. “You can try the soup again tomorrow, but we’ll give your system a break for today.”

“Please,” Tony cried brokenly. 

Bruce sighed, putting on gloves. 

“Bucky!” Tony cried. “Please Bucky, i’m so sorry. Please come back.”

Bucky, who was cooling off in their bedroom, heard Tony’s cries. He was extremely frustrated at his hard-headed boyfriend, but hearing his cries made him melt. He walked back into the communal room to see Tony completely panicking as Bruce neared with the feeding tube. All his anger at Tony dispersed and now he was just sad. 

“Please, i’ll eat! I promise I'll eat. Please! Not again, not again, please!” Tony cried. 

Bucky melted, kneeling in front of Tony and grabbing his face gently. “Tones, calm down. It’s only for a little while. We’ll be right here the whole time, okay?”

“You promise you won’t leave?” Tony sniffled. 

“I promise,” Bucky said firmly. 

Bruce took that as his que and started inching towards Tony again. Tony moved as far back as he could but was stopped early on by Steve’s broad chest. When Bruce put the tube into his nose and started feeding it down to his throat, Tony was breathing heavily with his eyes squeezed shut. As it hit his throat, he couldn’t help but jump and stop Bruce’s hand. Bucky peeled his hand off of the doctor’s and held them both in place. Tony struggled a little, but froze in fear as he felt the tube go further in him. 

Tony coughed a little as Bruce finished. “All done,” he said, taking off his gloves. 

“Now was that so hard?” Steve said, smiling. 

Tony pouted and curled into himself. He ignored Bruce as he hooked up the bag of nutrients and he ignored Bucky and Steve who were trying to talk to him. Tears came to his eyes at how helpless he felt. “I hate this,” he whispered. 

Bucky placed a piece of tape onto the tube to hold it Tony’s his cheek. Steve lifted them further back onto the couch and snuggled Tony closer. When Bucky cradled his cheek and Steve rubbed his arm, both of them staring at him like lost puppies, he melted. 

“I love you,” they both said softly. 

Tony sighed, letting his anger disappear. “I love you too.”

Chapter Text

Pairing: Tony/Steve/Bucky

Tony loved Steve and Bucky, and they loved him- very much. He knew that. When the three finally announced their relationship to the world, Tony knew people would be mean and rude because that’s how the world was. But what Tony did was not prepared for was the silence. 

The world congratulated Bucky and Steve by putting them on the covers of magazines and inviting them to television interviews, but they seemed to ignore that Tony was a part of the relationship too. They didn’t even mention him at all. 

The two men told him profusely to not listen to the tabloids and that they loved him very much, and they told the internet so. They wouldn’t do any interview without Tony and they wouldn’t pose for any photoshoot with Tony standing between them- but still the internet persisted. They wanted Steve and Bucky- the two hot supersoldier boyfriends- and so they made sure they got what they wanted. They took photos of them against their will and cut Tony out. 

Soon the internet was full of ‘Bucky And Steve Go On An Ice Cream Date’, ‘Bucky And Steve Share Kisses In The Park’, and so on. People made fan art of the two and tweeted about their cuteness constantly. Still, there was no mention of Tony; and even though his boyfriends told him to ignore it- he couldn’t. 

Tony looked at himself in the mirror and finally he started to understand. Tony looked at his short pudgy body and finally saw why he couldn’t be a part of ‘The Hottest Couple of The Decade’. 

But looking at the scale, (his mind turning the 1 of 145lbs to a 3), he decided he would change things. 

So he stopped eating. 

Every time his stomach would growl in hunger, he walked to the gym instead. He would work out profusely hoping to get even half of the muscles his super soldier boyfriends carried around. 

When he finally felt his body’s last call for hunger that singled it was about to give out- he allowed himself an energy bar. 

He filled his boyfriends with excuses-

“I eat lunch in the lab.”

“Then what about breakfast? You never eat with us anymore.”

“I go to the office and eat with Pepper while we go over paperwork.”

“And dinner? You never let us take you out anymore.”

“I’m on a new diet. I eat a large lunch and no dinner.”

“Is that safe?”

“Of course, my nutritionist made a plan for me.”

He didn’t have a nutritionist. He was full of excuses, they never stopped coming. 

Even when the scale showed him a 95lbs and his clothes were literally hanging off of him, he still didn’t like what he saw. He may be slightly thinner, but he wasn’t thin enough . His muscles were still lanky and weak . He was still a disappointment . 

Two months after they revealed their relationship, The Daily Bugle published an article titled ‘Tony Stark: The Sugar Daddy of the Famous Superhero Couple’ which featured a cartoon of two tall hot men on either side of the page with their shirts off and and a dramatically tiny ‘Monopoly Man’ between them with Tony’s famous goatee and a large belly. This was the tip of the iceberg for Tony. 

He had to show his boyfriends that he was more than a sugar daddy. That he was more than a fat, weak old man. 

For two weeks he avoided his boyfriends. They tried to talk to him after the article came out but he ignored their calls and requests to enter the lab, he didn’t want to hear their laughter. He didn’t want to hear how accurate the article was. He didn’t want to hear how they wanted to leave him. 

Instead, he worked out. He built a gym in his lab so he never had to leave or face his boyfriends. He didn’t want them to see him until he was new, until he was better, until he was worthy . 

Even more pounds flew off of him and even though he was skin and bones, he still saw the flabby ‘Monopoly Man’ staring back at him.

Because he locked himself in the lab, he didn’t realize he was missing out on his energy bars and occasional salad. So it was not long before the muted Jarvis was able to let out an emergency alarm through the tower because Tony had passed out. 

The team had barely seen him over the last two months so they were shocked to see him inhumanly thin and weak. They could count his ribs and see the bones in his arms. Bucky and Steve immediately broke down in tears upon seeing him. 

Tony was put under watch for about a month after to make sure he was eating and exercising correctly. Steve and Bucky made a public statement about how hurtful the public was toward Tony and how important he is to them. Some apologized, some didn’t. 

Tony followed the instructions of his therapist and real nutritionist, but even so, he still didn’t feel worthy. People could apologize but he was still in his same body. He wouldn’t get stronger or taller, he would never look like his boyfriends. 

But every day, Steve and Bucky worked towards making him understand that that is okay. That they love him just the way he is, and that he is worthy. 

Tony doesn’t believe it now, and probably won’t tomorrow, but they won’t rest until he someday does. 

Chapter Text

Steve knew Tony was in pain just from the stiffness of his flying. 

The Avengers had completed their mission and were flying back to the tower. Tony hadn’t removed the helmet and the suit was stiffer than usual. Gone were Tony’s fluid swaying movements, the suit moved mechanically just like the robots in the movies did.

He had an idea what was wrong, but Tony refused to answer his concerning questions over the comms. 

Tony was the first one out of the jet when it landed and Steve followed quickly after it. He called Tony’s name but the suit did not stop its movements. Finally as they reached the workshop, the red and gold suit got to the middle of the room before freezing in place. Steve was just in time to dive in front of it as the suit opened up and Tony came falling out. 

“Tony!” Steve shouted, grabbing the man before he crashed to the ground. 

Steve’s heart pounded when the man didn’t make a sound in his arms, simply trembling. He shifted them both so he could see Tony’s face, finally hearing a shout of pain come from the man at the movement. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Steve cooed. 

“Back hurts,” Tony gasped. 

Steve sighed, bringing Tony’s forehead to his own chest and letting the man rest against him. 

Tony has had chronic back pain for years but ever since becoming Iron Man it has gotten worse and worse. There were many days he and Steve would lay in the bed for hours as Tony’s back surged in pain, preventing him from moving at all. He hadn’t had a flare-up in about two-weeks, so Steve should have known this mission might cause some problems. 

Steve’s brow creased in concern as he felt his shirt dampen with tears. “It’s okay, baby,” he soothed, putting a hand in Tony’s hair. “Do you want to lay down?”

Tony shook his head and a few whimpers were released from his mouth. 

Steve sighed in concern. “Jarvis, can you update Bruce?” He didn’t even listen to the AI’s response as he focused on his boyfriend. “Baby, let’s move to the couch, okay?” 

It took a few seconds but Tony nodded into Steve’s chest. Steve shifted Tony closer to his body and wrapped his arms around the man’s waist. He tried to stand with one fluid movement, but was forced to lower Tony back to the ground as the man practically screamed in pain. 

“Fuck, it hurts,” Tony cried, fisting Steve’s shirt. 

“I know, I know,” Steve said softly while placing a soft hand on the back of Tony’s neck. 

Bruce walked in as Tony’s crying started up again. He approached the pair who were sitting on the floor and placed his medical bag next to them. “Hey, Tones. I know your back hurts, but is it a numbing pain, a shooting pain, or is it cramping?”

Tony whimpered for several moments, keeping his head snuggled into his boyfriend. “Cramping, I think,” he whispered. “And shooting.”

Bruce nodded. “I’m going to have to touch your back, okay?” 

“No!” Tony cried. Bruce’s massages, while helping the pain, always hurt a lot.

“Tones, it’s okay,” Steve said gently. “Let him help, it’ll make you feel better.”

Tony sat silently, letting tears leak down his face. Bruce took Tony’s silence as his queue and started massaging Tony’s back lightly. 

Immediately Tony flinched and squirmed in pain. Steve held him tighter. “Stay still, baby.”

Bruce used his thumb to smooth out the tight muscles and tried to use a light touch. Despite his effort, Tony still whimpered at every knot. 

Tony didn’t notice Natasha had entered the workshop until she was kneeling next to him and was wiping a cool towel across his skin. “It’s okay, Antoshka,” she said softly. Tony turned his head from where it was trying to merge with Steve’s chest and looked at her. She grabbed his hand and squeezed gently, prompting him to squeeze back tightly as Bruce massaged another knot. 

Tony also didn’t notice Clint until he felt another pair of hands ice his back. The ice helped numb his back and Natasha and Steve’s soft touch helped draw his attention away from the pain. 

Several minutes later, Tony finally felt Bruce’s hands move from his back. “Does it feel any better, Tones?” Bruce asked. 

Tony nodded, eyes still shut. “No more cramping,” he muttered. 

“But it still hurts?” Bruce asked. 

Tony nodded, he hummed when he felt Steve’s hand return to his hair. 

Bruce sighed. “Take this pill and then let's walk to your room.”

Tony almost screamed at the thought of moving but he just groaned in response and swallowed the pill Bruce held out. 

Steve’s sturdy hands helped him up and he felt Bruce’s hands at his waist to steady him. Immediately his body folded as his back surged with pain but Bruce slowly encouraged him to stand straight. “I know it hurts, but it will help,” he said. 

Steve guided him towards the elevator and the team followed. Through the elevator ride he laid his head onto Steve’s chest and let his boyfriend support his weight. Bruce rubbed his shoulders in support. 

By the time they finally reached the bedroom, Tony was dizzy with pain. He could do no more than sit on the edge of the bed in Steve’s arms as the team fluttered around him. Clint removed his clothes while Natasha replaced them with pajamas, and Bruce ran to get heat packs. 

They dressed him in Steve’s sweats since they were baggy and loose on him and his favorite fuzzy socks. Steve helped him lower to the bed and shifted him until he was laying on his stomach with his head in Steve’s lap. Bruce placed the heat packs on his upper, middle, and lower back. 

Tony hummed as the heat seeped into his muscles, relaxing them gradually. He barely noticed the team grinning at his happy noises and leaving the room. 

He felt the lights dim and heard the door start to close. “Thank you,” he hummed. He was so grateful for his team. 

Chapter Text

Despite living in New York City for years, Tony had never been ice skating at Rockefeller Center. Actually, he’s never been ice skating in general. To be honest, he would have died completely content even if he had never gone ice skating in his life. But when Steve planned a trip on Christmas Eve to go see the big tree and go ice skating and the whole team agreed, he couldn’t say no. 

The tree was nothing new to Tony. It was large and colorful and pretty- but he sees it every year, so it wasn’t too exciting. Even so, he did enjoy seeing the faces of his teammates as they stood at the bottom, staring up at it in wonder. The lights reflected off of their faces and made their smiles even brighter. 

When Steve showed them the Rockefeller Center Ice Rink, right under the enormous tree, they all about peed their pants. Even Natasha who was known for containing her emotions seemed excited. Their excitement flew off them in waves and soon Tony was excited too. 

When Steve told him the plan a week ago, Tony had offered to buy out the rink so it would be just them, but Steve had refused. Tony was frustrated, he hated people . People who would stare , and laugh , and be in the way. But looking down at the beautiful skaters and children and families, he could see why Steve had refused. People were a part of the Christmas magic. Tony guessed he could suck it up for one day. 

They all put on their clunky skates, Steve having to help Tony and Bruce having to help Clint. They also added scarfs, hats, and gloves in addition to their puffy coats once they felt the huge drop in temperature around the ice. 

Steve held Tony’s hands and helped guide him unsteadily to the rink after he had the skates on. How do they expect people to walk in these things?

While Clint, Steve, Bruce, and Natasha skated out onto the rink immediately upon reaching it, Tony hung to the door and stared unmoving at the frosty ice. It was glossy but scratched and he could feel the vibrations as people skated by. Even just standing while gripping the railing, he could feel his feet start to glide in different directions. It wasn’t until Steve glided over to him he even noticed he had been standing there for several minutes. 

“You going to skate?” Steve asked, touching his shoulder. 

Tony momentarily broke his stare to glance up at Steve before returning his gaze back to the thick ice under his feet. 

Steve chuckled and started peeling Tony’s fingers from the railing.

“No!” Tony grumbled, gripping the bar harder. 

Steve moved so he was in front of Tony’s face. “Do you trust me?” 

Tony looked into Steve’s icy blue eyes. “Yes,” he finally said. 

Steve held out his hands and Tony took a second before releasing the railing. Immediately his feet slid and he was falling. He barely let out a gasp before Steve was catching and steadying him. “You’re okay,” Steve smiled. 

Steve guided Tony out towards the center of the rink where Tony noticed the slower skaters were stumbling around. “Just hold onto me,” Steve said. Tony nodded and soon they were skating slowly around the rink. 

Tony didn’t notice Steve was skating backwards in his excitement at seeing his own feet moving on the ice. I’m doing it.  

“You are,” Steve smiled. 

Tony’s head jerked up, not realizing he spoke his thoughts aloud. He let out a smile at Steve’s happy face. 

Tony looked around at the other skaters. The experienced ones were dancing on the outskirts of the rink, gracefully twirling on the ice. The less experienced ones were mixed around, kids falling awkwardly and even some adults took some tumbles. 

Tony couldn’t hold in a laugh when he noticed Clint fall ungracefully on his ass. Natasha helped him up after she finished laughing loudly at him. Bruce rolled his eyes at the pair and skated around them. 

In his distracted state, he didn’t notice Steve had let go of his hands until he noticed Steve’s voice next to him. “You’re doing great, Tony!”

Immediately he wobbled in his panic. Steve helped steady him as he was about to tumble forward. 

“You go it, bend your knees slightly,” Steve helped. “Great!” 

Tony took a breath and continued skating. He tried not to look down and instead focused on Steve’s voice who babbled about the pretty Christmas lights they had seen on their way here. 

30 minutes later, Tony felt more confident than when he started. He still stayed towards the center, but he had done several laps without wavering. Eventually Steve got dragged away by Bruce and Natasha to teach them how to skate backwards. Clint, only slightly more graceful than Tony, watched in on the lessons but had no success. Tony stayed where he was, he was only just getting the hang of skating forward !

Just when Tony was thinking about moving to the fast lanes on the outskirts, a child fell directly in front of him, causing Tony to trip and fly into the air before landing hard on the icy rink. His world went black. 

“Tony, Tony!” He heard a voice call from underwater. His vision was blurry but slowly clearing. The voices got clearer too, and soon he realized he was staring at his teammates. 

“Tony, are you okay?” Steve asked worriedly. He tried to focus on the blue-eyed man, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the public as they stared from between his teammates’ legs. 

“Is that Tony Stark?”

“Is that the Avengers?”

“Did Tony Stark fall? I can’t believe he doesn’t know how to skate!”

Just as Tony was going to cover his face with his coat-covered arm, a little boy squeezed between Steve and knelt over him. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark. I didn’t mean to make you trip! I’m so sorry, you gotta believe me!” The child cried. 

Tony coughed, trying to find his voice through his pounding headache. “It’s okay kid. Not your fault. It’s all good,” he rasped. 

“Thank you Mr. Stark. I’m sorry again. You’re not hurt right? Because if you’re hurt then you can’t save the world!” The kid rambled. 

“Not hurt kid, it’s all good,” Tony assured him. 

“Oh good, because-”

“Okay, kid-” Clitn interrupted. 

“Peter!”

“Okay Peter , go find your parents okay?” Clint said, gently pushing the kid away. 

Once the kid was away, a few tears seeped out of Tony’s eyes. “Fuck,” he cursed. 

“What hurts?” Steve said immediately. 

“Head and arm,” Tony grunted. 

Tony’s arm was on fire and he just knew it was broken. 

“Should we call an ambulance?” Steve asked Bruce.

“No!” Tony interrupted. Now that people had recognized them, he didn’t want to put on a show. Super heroes don’t get hurt- Iron Man doesn’t get hurt. He was fine. “I’ll just walk it off.”

“You can’t walk off a broken-” Bruce scoffed. 

“Can we please just...leave?” Tony grunted. 

The team looked at each other. 

“Please! Let’s not draw attention to ourselves, okay?” Tony pleaded, trying to sit up. 

Steve sighed and grabbed Tony’s good arm to help him up. 

Tony’s head pounded fiercely and his arm throbbed but he pulled away after Steve helped him stand and he put on his publicity smile. “All good!” He said to the crowd who had gathered to watch. 

The group clapped and took photos as the team slowly moved off the rink. Tony forced his arm straight while biting his lip from the pain. Once they made it to the bench and the fans had dispersed per Clint’s glares, Tony let Steve and Natasha take off his skates and put his boots back on. 

He almost passed out in relief when they noticed Happy waiting for them in a large black truck. “Thanks Jarvis,” he said to his watch, getting a comforting vibration in return. 

As soon as the doors to the truck closed and Happy started driving, Tony finally allowed himself to cradle his broken arm. 

“Breathe, Tony,” Bruce said from where he was sitting next to him. 

Tony let out a large breath he didn’t realize he was holding and squeezed his eyes shut when a few whimpers escaped his mouth as well. 

“Definitely broken,” Bruce diagnosed. “I don’t have my medical bag but just keep it still, okay?”

Tony nodded, and ignored the tears that were running down his cheeks. He felt Steve’s hand rub his shoulder and he melted into the comfort. 

His arm was broken in three places, the doctor at the emergency room told them. He had a large bulky cast on his arm all the way up to his shoulder and an ugly blue sling that wrapped around his neck. He was happy the doctor let him get the cast red, though. 

When he woke up on Christmas morning to his arm cast covered in glitter and bows- not unlike a present, he couldn’t even be mad. 

Chapter Text

Bucky woke to a loud wail. He was usually on high alert, but he and Tony had stayed up all night watching movies so he was dead tired. 

He sat up turning on the light, but ran out of the room when his realization of his boyfriend missing from the bed followed another shout. He reached the hall and followed the sounds towards the stairs. 

“Don’t move him!” Bruce shouted from where he was perched awkwardly on the stairs. 

Tony was sprawled on the last few stairs, head-first. His legs were twisted and one of his arms was between the railing. His eyes were squeezed shut but there was a steady stream of tears falling down the sides of his face. Steve and Clint were kneeling near Tony’s person but their hands were hovering, not knowing where to touch. Bucky jumped to the bottom of the stairs in panic when he noticed blood pooling under Tony’s head. 

“What happened?” Bucky grunted, placing gentle hands on Tony’s face. 

“Do not touch him!” Bruce shouted. “He might have broken his neck.”

Bucky’s heart pounded. “What happened?” He asked again, even more frantically. 

“I tripped down the stairs,” Tony cried in a soft voice. 

Bucky melted. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t cry.” He forced his hands down from where they were aching to wipe away Tony’s tears. 

Bruce moved next to Bucky and ran steady fingers down Tony’s neck. “Does anything hurt?” He asked. 

“Head,” Tony whispered. Tony moved his hand to touch his bleeding forehead but Bruce grabbed his hand gently. 

“Steve, can you get the first aid kit? Clint can you get ice?” Bruce asked. 

The pair nodded and ran off to their duties. 

“Does your neck hurt at all? Your back?” Bruce asked firmly, in complete doctor mode. 

“Back hurts. Just bruised,” Tony slurred, eyes closing. 

“Keep your eyes open baby,” Bucky said. Tony’s fluttered open and locked with Bucky’s. 

“Anything feel numb, Tony?” Bruce asked, feeling along Tony’s back. 

“No Bruce. Just bruised,” Tony mumbled, frustrated. He started fidgeting to get up. 

“Humor me, Tony,” Bruce said, forcing Tony’s shoulders down. 

When Clint and Steve got back, Bruce told them to place down their items and had them move above Tony. Bruce cradled Tony’s neck and head while the other boys grabbed his other limbs. “Gently!” He emphasized as they all shifted him. 

Tony groaned as he was moved off the bumpy steps. They placed him in a sitting position on the bottom stair but his vision started getting foggy. 

“Woah!” Bruce shouted as Tony started falling to the side. 

Bucky quickly caught him. He slid Tony off the bottom stair and into his lap on the floor. He helped Bruce guide Tony’s lolling head to his chest. “Stay awake baby,” Brucky whispered into Tony’s ear. 

“Head hurts,” Tony whined as Steve pressed a towel to his forehead to stop the bleeding. 

“I know, Tones,” Bucky said softly, rubbing Tony’s arm. 

Bruce shined a flashlight in Tony’s eyes and started stitching the cut closed while Tony fought to keep his eyes open. “He doesn’t have a concussion,” Bruce sighed gratefully. “He’s bruised badly but he’ll be fine in a few days.”

“Can I sleep now?” Tony groaned. 

“If you promise not to be so clumsy,” Bucky sighed. “Nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Promise,” Tony slurred, closing his eyes and snuggling into Bucky. 

Bucky rolled his eyes but cuddled his clumsy little monster closer. 

Chapter Text

It was a weekend and Steve was bored. It was like the world went quiet- there were no people to save, no Shield to consult with, there was nothing to do. So Steve did what anyone would do in his situation- go bother his boyfriend. 

Tony was tinkering in his workshop when Steve eventually annoyed him enough to drag him up to the training floor to do what Steve considered ‘fun’-- sparring. He hated fighting with the supersoldier since there was always a clear winner, but Steve had pouted, and immediately it caused him to melt to his boyfriend’s desires. 

Steve loved hand-to-hand combat, so after covering Tony in pounds of padding, they fought. It started slow but gradually they started having fun and they started hitting faster and faster. Soon they became so competitive the game broke the bounds of the boxing ring they were sparring in and they ran around the room, taunting each other. 

Tony was able to hide in Clint’s target room for several minutes before Steve finally noticed him and tackled him to the ground. They both laid laughing and panting on the ground. 

Gradually, Tony’s laughs turned into coughs. Steve didn’t notice as he too lay trying to catch his breath. 

Tony’s heart pounded unrelentlessly and his breaths felt thinner and thinner. “Steve-” he coughed. 

Steve jumped at the loud wheeze he heard accompany his name. He sat up and moved toward Tony. The man was laying limp except for his heaving chest that got caught on every other breath. Wheezes followed every exhale and each inhale was cut short by a pack of coughs. “Tony?” He asked worriedly. 

“Can’t breathe,” Tony gasped.

Steve panicked at his paling lips. He pulled Tony into his arms so the man was upright. “Calm your breathing baby, deep breaths.”

Tony tried to listen to him but his airway was closing up and his chest was hot with pain. 

Steve, completely forgetting about the AI that lived with them, screamed at the top of his lungs. “Help!” He jumped when the clanging of the vents produced an archer. Clint landed on the padded training floor and took in the scene. 

“He needs his inhaler,” Steve said in his mission voice. Clint nodded, but before he could race off, Natasha and Bruce burst into the room.

Bruce ran towards them holding the small contraption and Steve almost fainted in relief. “Jarvis told us what happened,” he informed. 

Steve pressed the inhaler to Tony’s lips as soon as Bruce handed it to him. “You know how it goes baby, big breath in-”

“Can’t-” Tony huffed. He was barely able to inhale anymore and his lips were turning blue. His vision was dark around the edges and his lungs were burning from the lack of air. 

“You can, I know you can,” Steve said firmly. “Inhale and hold,” Steve instructed. As soon as Tony took a short breath in, he released the medicine. Tony immediately started coughing and wheezing. “Again,” Steve commanded. 

Natasha took Tony’s shaking hand in hers and squeezed lightly. Tony took in another breath and felt the medicine pinch through his tight airway. His tense shoulders relaxed slightly when he felt a bit more air rush in. 

“There you go,” Steve said softly when he noticed Tony’s breathing getting better. He looked to Bruce when Tony’s body started sagging. Bruce took the inhaler and Steve adjusted Tony so the man was cradled in his lap. He ran his hands through Tony’s hair as Bruce helped administer the albuterol through the inhaler. 

After the seven puffs, Bruce finally pulled the inhaler away when he felt Tony’s breathing was better. “Deep breaths, Tones,” he instructed the man. 

Tony let his eyes fall closed as he focused on his breathing. His chest still hurt but he could only be grateful for the air that finally returned to his lungs. 

Steve let out his own panicked breath and let his tense body relax. He wiped the tears he didn’t realize had been flowing. 

“Thank you,” Tony huffed to the group. 

Steve smiled in relief at his boyfriend and moved to stand with Tony in his arms. Tony was always exhausted after asthma attacks so he knew the man would probably want to sleep for the rest of the day. “Nebulizer time,” he whispered to his dozing boyfriend. 

Tony groaned, but snuggled further into Steve’s arms. 

Chapter Text

Tony was taking Bucky and Steve for a ride in the city. Because of their hero status they did not get out much in fear of being mobbed by crowds, but Tony still wanted them to experience the beauty of modern day New York City.

He drove them past Times Square, Central Park, and even to Brooklyn. Just as they were driving back on the highway, music blasting as they sung their hearts out, the car in front of them suddenly screeched to a stop, causing Tony to swerve. 

Everything turned to slow motion as they crashed into the truck next to them. It was hard to see, but Steve recounts both their car and the truck tipping over and rolling down a hill. The feeling of weightlessness would have almost felt blissful if it wasn’t accompanied by the fear of death choking their throats. Somehow in the chaos, Steve’s world went black, oblivious to the final crash of them hitting the ditch. 

Steve woke to someone pleading his name. It was a desperate tone that he only recalled hearing several times in his life, each time it was in the face of emergency, or worse- death. 

“Please wake up, Steve. Please !” Steve peeled open his eyes and immediately cringed at the pain in his body. “Steve!” He slowly turned his aching head to see Bucky in the middle backseat. 

The man was gripping the shoulder that was attached to his metal arm, which Steve noticed was crushed. Bucky was gripping his teeth from the pain, but otherwise looked unharmed.

Steve took catalogue of himself. His leg hurt, which he concluded was because it was crushed under the front of the car. His head was also bleeding slightly, which explained the slowness. He looked next to him and noticed the side window was cracked and red, which means he must have smacked his head against it during the crash. He also noticed two of his fingers bent weirdly. He didn’t realize he had been staring at them for a long time until Bucky finally leant forward and smacked his arm. 

“Steve, snap out of it!” Bucky grunted, now gripping his torso. “Tony needs help.”

“Tony?” Steve slurred. The name was familiar. Steve turned towards the driver’s side and screamed. “Tony!” 

“Don’t touch him!” Bucky shouted. “Look at his back.”

Steve froze from where he was reaching out to shake the man. Tony was face down on the dash, the broken wheel digging into his chest. His body was covered in blood, most of it coming from a gash in his head. The cut was large enough that they could physically see the split in his scalp. Just like Steve, Tony’s legs were crushed under the car. 

But what Bucky was referring to was the bulge in Tony’s back. Looking closer at it, Steve had to bite his lip against the instinct to throw up. There was definitely a bone poking out of Tony’s back. “Shit!” Steve cursed. His mind suddenly defogged and his heart started pounding. 

“Tony? Tony!” He screamed. 

“No!” Bucky grunted. “Don’t wake-”

The car erupted with screams.

“Tony baby,” Bucky tried to sooth. 

“It hurts, oh god,” Tony slurred. His shoulders twitched as he tried to flail in panic. 

“Don’t move Tony,” Bucky pleaded. 

“Bucky!” Tony cried. “Stevie, help!” 

“Fuck,” Bucky cursed when Tony started panicking further. He needed to do something. He could feel his ribs slowly knitting themselves back together but they still hurt badly. Swallowing back the pain, he used his good hand to slide himself out of the car. He immediately threw up upon standing, but he quickly wiped his mouth and stumbled to Tony’s side of the car. 

His door was gone, but Tony’s was still attached and dented. With strength he didn’t know he possessed in his weaker arm, he wrenched the dented door away from the car. Once the door was off, he was hit fully with Tony’s screams. Next to him, Steve swayed as his head started to hurt from the loud noise.

“Tony, listen to me,” Bucky said firmly, kneeling next to Tony. The man was still bent over the dash but his head was turned to Bucky. Tony’s eyes finally opened upon hearing Bucky’s voice. “I need you to calm down. Deep breaths.”

Tony’s chest still heaved quickly, but he unconsciously started calming down as he stared into Bucky’s eyes. “It hurts B,” Tony whimpered. 

“I know it does, I know it does baby,” Bucky said softly, trying to will back his own tears. 

Bucky looked over to the truck driver. From the odd angle of the man’s neck, he knew he was dead. He searched his pockets for his phone and sighed realizing he left it at home. “Steve?” He called. Steve always had his phone on him.

Steve’s head turned towards him. “I need you to get your phone out of your pocket and call 911,” Bucky instructed. Steve blinked for a few seconds but nodded. 

Steve slowly searched his pockets for his phone. 

“B?” Tony whispered. Bucky turned just in time to see blood pour from Tony’s mouth. 

“Fuck!” Bucky shouted. Tony started coughing and a wheeze latched onto his exhales. 

Steve looked over and went even paler at the blood. “Steve, hurry!” Bucky shouted.

Bucky grunted as he ripped off his shirt and held it onto Tony’s head to try to stop the bleeding. Tony screamed at the pressure and squirmed. “Please baby, don’t move,” Bucky pleaded desperately. 

“Hello? We were in a car accident,” Steve said to the operator. “On the highway. I don’t know where-”

“Exit 5A,” Bucky provided. 

“Exit 5A,” Steve repeated. “Someone already called them. They’ll be here in 2 minutes,” Steve told Bucky. 

“You hear that baby? 2 Minutes. You just gotta hang on for 2 minutes,” Bucky said desperately, almost collapsing in relief.

Tony’s eyes fluttered as he coughed up more blood. “You hear me, Tones?” Bucky pleaded, holding Tony’s face. “Keep your eyes open, they’re almost here.”

“B’y? S’vie?” Tony slurred softly. 

“We are here, Tones,” Steve said, leaning closer to the pair. His pinned legs wouldn’t let him move much, but he was able to place a gentle hand onto Tony’s shoulder. 

“I love you,” Tony whispered as his eyes finally closed. 

“No goodbyes, baby,” Bucky cried. “You’re gonna be fine.” 

“Wake up, Tony,” Steve screamed as Tony’s body went limp. 

The two supersoldiers didn’t even notice the red and blue lights illuminating the dull ditch as they cried.

Chapter Text

“Greetings mighty team! I have returned from my adventures in Asgard and have brought food for us to feast on!” Thor’s voice booms as he enters the common room. 

Tony, who sits on the couch, pulls off his reading glasses and takes in the large man holding a bulging sack over his shoulder- not unsimilar to Santa Claus. “Sorry Point-break, everyone is gone on their own missions. No one is here.”

Thor frowns and drops the sack to the floor. “Well surely you and I can start the feast without them? The food must be eaten fresh.”

Tony eyes the mysterious sack. “I’m not very-”

“Please?” Thor pleads, pouting. 

Tony sighs deeply, “Fine.”

Thor lights up and starts unloading the sack onto the dining table. The multitude of food spans the whole table and Tony gets nervous at all the weird colored dishes. He swears he sees several of them move. 

As soon as the billionaire sits, Thor is shoving food into Tony’s mouth, rambling about his travels and barely giving him time to chew. Tony doesn’t know what he is eating exactly, but has to admit some of it isn’t so bad. 

He is given a break when hours later Clint comes back from his Shield mission. Thor’s eyes widen at his new victim and shoves Clint into a seat. 

Tony gives Clint a silent signal when Thor isn’t looking of what not to try as the Asgardian re-rambles everything he told Tony. 

Clint takes a few bites but when he interrupts Thor’s speech to ask about the ingredients in one of the dishes, both humans promptly spit out everything in their mouths when Thor tells them the ‘noodle worms’ are made with actual alive space worms. 

The two hold it together until Thor thanks them for sharing the feast with him and retires to his room. As soon as Jarvis tells them the man reached his floor several levels down, they both start vomiting. 

“What the fuck, Tony!” Clint says in between heaves. 

“What did I do?” Tony shouts.

“Why didn’t you tell me we were eating literal aliens!”

“I didn’t know! He didn’t tell me what was in the food! He just said that he got it from Asgard.”

“You’re a fucking dumbass,” Clint scowls, turning to leave. “It doesn’t take a genius to know they probably don’t eat twinkies in Space! You should have asked. If I die from this, I'm blaming you!”

Tony sighs and starts cleaning up the mess. “I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. You didn’t see how excited he was,” Tony mutters to Clint’s back. 

Clint ignores him as the elevator doors close. 

Halfway through cleaning, Tony’s stomach starts bubbling uncomfortably. He gives one last look at the messy table and rushes to his room. 

He doesn’t even make it to the toilet before he collapses to the floor and starts puking violently. His body slowly sags until he can’t even pick up his head and lets the vomit fall out of his mouth messily. 

He doesn’t even realize his eyes have closed until he wakes up to knocking on his bedroom door.  

“Man of Iron?” Thor’s voice booms. 

“What’s up Point-break?” Tony moans, blinking his eyes half-way. 

“Before I rest, I wanted to thank you again for this evening’s feast. I very much enjoyed it and I appreciate you embracing the culture of Asgard with me,” Thor says through the door. 

“No problem, buddy. I enjoyed it too,” Tony coughs. 

Tony could practically see Thor’s large smile. “I am glad. Good-night!” 

Tony waits until he hears Thor’s footsteps disappear to start audibly heaving again. Upon waking he realizes his stomach hurts even worse than earlier and is cramping painfully. 

Tony wants to get up to get some medicine but he can’t even think about moving. His body feels heavy and weak but at this moment he couldn’t do anything about it. He can’t even call his boyfriend because he has no idea where his phone is. It was one of the many times he cursed Steve for wanting ‘privacy’ in their bedroom and asked him to disable Jarvis in there. 

His stomach cramps were getting worse and he was forced to close his eyes from the pain. He forced himself to sleep, hoping things would be better in the morning. 

They weren’t, everything was worse. 

Tony woke up in the same spot on the floor surrounded by dry vomit and in a puddle of sweat. His clothes and hair clung to his skin and his body was trembling violently. His stomach cramps were so painful that he had to force himself not to scream. 

He could see the light from the window and figured it was mid-morning. He licked his dry lips and wished to the gods for a bottle of water. Instead, they decided to curse him by increasing the pain of his cramps, causing him to bite his lip against the escaping whimpers. 

It was hours until he finally heard a knock at his door. “Uh Tony, are you in here? Thor said you didn’t come up for breakfast,” he heard Clint’s voice say. 

Tony squeezed his eyes shut. “M’ not hungry,” he forced his voice to sound normal. 

Clint sighed. “I guess not, after yesterday.” He watched Clint’s feet linger for several silent seconds. “Guess i’ll see you later then.”

At this point Tony had his hand in his mouth to muffle the pain-filled shouts that were forcing themselves out. Clint took his silence in stride and simply walked away.  

As soon as he heard the elevator door shut he pulled his fist out of his mouth and let loose the screams of pain. He couldn’t even care that vomit was getting into his hair as his body shook violently against the cramps. 

Like a cycle, a few minutes later he was back to dry heaving. None of the food wanted to leave his body, instead it all sat at the bottom, refusing to move up or down. 

Tony knew his body was aching for water, but he didn’t know what to do. He literally couldn’t move. He decided to go to his next best plan- trying to contact Jarvis. 

“Jarvis, Jarvis,” Tony rasped, hoping to be heard through the sound-proofed door. He shouted for another three hours against his raw throat until a coughing episode rid him of his voice. After that, he knew there was nothing he could do except close his eyes. 

He should have just sucked it up and asked Clint for help. He hoped the man would come back. He would tell the truth this time, he promised. And he would apologize for making Clint upset. 

Clint did come back, hours later, with his boyfriend and other Avengers in tow. They had gotten back from their own missions and Clint had told them about Thor’s feast and how he ended up sitting on the toilet until his butt was numb. When he had told them about Tony’s absence, Steve was naturally concerned and asked Jarvis. 

“Sir has not left his bedroom since yesterday evening,” Jarvis reported. 

“Is he okay?” Steve asked, alarmed. 

“I cannot check sir’s vitals from the bedroom,” Jarvis explained. 

“I talked to him this morning, he seemed fine,” Clint shrugged. 

“You saw him?” Bruce asked. 

“No, I talked to him through the door,” Clint said. 

Steve scrunched up his face. “That doesn’t seem concerning to you?” 

“No? He was probably talking a massive shit like I was,” Clint laughed but quieted when he saw everyone’s stares. 

Steve huffed and took off for Tony’s room. He found the door to be locked. “See I tried to get in but he locked me out,” Clint said. 

“Again, concerning?!” Steve huffed. Clint moved his guilty gaze to his feet. 

“Jarvis, unlock the door please,” Steve asked. 

“Password?” Jarvis’ accented voice requested. 

“Capsicle,” Steve rolled his eyes. 

The door swung open and the group gasped. 

Tony laid in the middle of the floor curled inward on his side surrounded by several piles of vomit. He was trembling and his body was covered in a thick layer of sweat. His lips were cracked and dry and he was pale aside from his fever-red cheeks. 

Bruce was the first to take charge and kneel on Tony’s vomit-free side. He checked Tony’s vitals and grimaced at how hot his forehead was. “Natasha go run a bath, Steve help me get his clothes off. While we are doing that, Clint- run and get a cold bucket of water with cloth and some heating pads,” Bruce ordered. 

Everyone moved, Tony’s whimpers encouraging them to work faster. Soon Tony’s body was shaking from the cold air as well once his body was stripped of it’s stained clothing. 

Steve carried Tony to the bath, but decided to get in the tub with his boyfriend when he saw Tony couldn’t hold himself up. Steve cleaned Tony’s body while Bruce washed his hair and soon they were drying him off and placing him in the bed. 

“He’s dehydrated,” Bruce observed as Steve replaced Tony’s clothes. “I’m going to go get an IV.” Bruce left the room. 

Steve sat on the edge of the bed next to Tony. “Baby?” He moved Tony’s wet curls off of his forehead. “Tones?” 

Tony’s eyes fluttered as he fought to wake up. His body was exhausted and he could feel his stomach start to rumble again. 

“There’s my smart-guy,” Steve smiled as he saw Tony’s eyes peek open. 

Tony groaned in response, and tried to curl into Steve. 

“How do you feel, baby?” Steve whispered, running his fingers through Tony’s hair. 

“Hurts,” Tony rasped. 

Natasha came out from nowhere and handed Steve a water bottle. Steve thanked her and brought the bottle to Tony’s lips. Immediately Tony started gulping down water greedily. Steve had to forcibly pull the bottle from Tony’s lips. No sooner, Tony started to heave and Natasha tossed a garbage can under his chin just in time. All of the water he had consumed ended up right back in the bin. 

“I knew that was going to happen,” Bruce sighed as he stared at the sight from the doorway. He walked over to Tony’s bedside when the man finished heaving and grabbed his arm. 

Steve turned Tony’s head away from where the needle was entering, knowing the sight would just make Tony more nauseous. 

It wasn’t long before Tony’s whimpering turned into cries of pain. 

“I’m going to have to touch your stomach, okay Tones? I just need to check what’s happening,” Bruce says. 

Tony lets out a cry but doesn’t fight as Steve pulls his shirt up. Tony immediately flinches as Bruce’s cold hands land on his stomach and he lets out screams as Bruce palpates all around his abdomen. He can’t even focus as Steve whispers softly in his ear, it felt like knives were stabbing him over and over. 

Finally Bruce takes a step back. “Fortunately it looks like it’s just food poisoning, but his stomach feels really hard and tense so it might be several hours until it's out of his system.”

Steve nods as Tony curls into him. Clint returns with the bucket so Bruce places the cold cloth over Tony’s forehead and neck to bring down his fever, and places the heating pad on the man’s stomach. Before the others leave Bruce gives Tony two spoonfuls of medicine. 

When the door closes and the room is silent, Steve takes Tony into his arms and cuddles him tightly. “Baby, why did you eat that food?” Steve whispers into the silence. 

“I didn’t want to hurt Thor’s feelings,” Tony rasped back. 

Steve sighed. He both loved and hated Tony’s big heart. “You can’t please everyone, baby. If you just explained to Thor he would understand. You don’t have to practically sacrifice your life for someone else’ happiness, Tones.”

Tears leaked from Tony’s eyes. “M’ sorry,” he whimpered. 

“It’s okay, baby. Focus on getting better,” Steve said softly, running his fingers through Tony’s curls.

“And don’t be so nice next time,” Steve laughs.

Chapter Text

They should have expected it after the large party they attended last night. Tony was extremely energetic and happy, and more than once Bucky and Steve had to direct him away from the bar. While the partygoers had attributed it to him being Tony Stark , his boyfriends knew what was going on. Especially when Steve woke up to Bucky trying to coax Tony out of bed. 

Steve had gone on his morning run and typically when he woke his boyfriends would be in the kitchen, having just woken up and cooking breakfast. He would open the door to loud music and horrible dancing as the two struggled to make pancakes. He would complain about the mess before being dragged into dancing to a Katy Perry song. That was of course before the fire alarm went off due to the burning pancakes they’d forgotten about. 

Today was different though, and unfortunately, it wasn’t unfamiliar. 

“Please, baby. Just a bit of breakfast?” Bucky pleaded, kneeling in front of Tony. 

Steve walked further into the room. “Please, baby? Then you can get right back in bed, I promise.” Bucky said softly. He sounded desperate and it made Steve’s heart break. 

Steve crawled onto the bed and sat behind Tony, spooning the smaller man. He could feel Tony trembling slightly and although he couldn’t see his expression, he knew the genius was crying silently. “I’m sorry, Bucky,” he heard him whisper. 

They knew it was almost impossible to get Tony out of bed on his own during his depressive episodes. Still, they tried, and they knew Tony did too.

“It’s okay, Tones,” Steve said, pulling Tony closer to him. He watched Bucky cradle the man’s cheek. “Bucky can you get his medicine please?” Steve asked. 

Bucky nodded and stepped out of the room.

Steve pulled a hand through Tony’s hair and snuggled into the man’s neck. He felt Tony take a shuddering breath. “I know you feel really bad right now,” he whispered. “But we all love you and are here for you.” He felt Tony’s tears pick up. “I know it might be hard to believe right now but we do.” After several seconds, he felt Tony nod. 

Bucky came in with pills and he helped Tony swallow them before holding a cup of water to his mouth. Steve pet his hair through the whole exchange. “Do you want to be alone?” Steve asked. His heart hurt when Tony nodded, but he and Bucky slowly left the room. 

The two walked into the hall like lost puppies. They gave each other a sad look and walked towards the common room. Bucky cooked while Steve cleaned. They hated when Tony got like this but there was not much they could do to pull him out of it, it was upsetting but they learned to back off and let Tony lead. 

And a few hours later, Tony came stumbling out of the bedroom. His hair was messy and sticking up, his eyes were squinted, and he was sockless but as soon as they noticed him in the hallway, both of them ran over and pulled him into a big hug. 

“We missed you so much, baby,” Steve said above Tony’s head. 

“Missed you too,” Tony mumbled into Steve’s chest. 

Bucky kissed Tony on the cheek before wrapping him in a blanket and sweeping him off his feet. He carried the lethargic man to the kitchen while Steve set a plate of food down. Tony looked at it conflictedly, and two supersoldiers gave each other a look. 

Bucky picked Tony up before placing the man on his lap. Steve moved in front of them and started feeding Tony. Tony reluctantly opened his mouth and let his boyfriend feed him. After the fifth forkful though, Tony collapsed against Bucky’s chest and closed his eyes. They could tell his momentary burst of energy was over. Steve brushed the utensil against Tony’s lips but the man wouldn’t open. He curled into Bucky and shook slightly. 

“Please Tony, two more bites?” Steve asked softly. 

Tony whimpered and squeezed his eyes tighter. He curled under the blanket and tucked his head into Bucky’s neck. Both of his boyfriends sighed, but Steve moved the plate. 

Just as Bucky was settling with Tony on the couch, the other occupants of the tower walked into the common room. Bucky debated bringing Tony up to their personal floor but since the man was calm and relaxed in his arms, he thought it better to say put. 

“What’s up with him?” Clint said as he flopped down onto the couch. 

Bucky internally rolled his eyes at the question. It was almost hard to believe Clint was a secret agent with his lack of tact, his love of blurting things out before thinking about them, and his lack of sensitivity. 

“Nothing, he’s just tired,” Bucky responded, pulling Tony closer to him. 

This was one of the reasons he was opposed to having the team move in with them. Being agents, they were naturally nosy and he didn’t like the idea of people being in their business, friends or not. Clint and Natasha also were fooled by Tony’s playboy persona and he knew they would not try to see past it. His high energy and impulsive behavior was also because of his bipolar disorder- Tony couldn’t help these mania episodes. And because of that, there was no way he was telling them about Tony’s bipolar disorder- it would just be another thing they would use against him. 

“Yeah ‘tired’, okay,” Clint laughed. “More like ‘hungover’. I was at that party last night too, remember? He was drinking like he was about to have his leg chopped off!” 

Bucky tried to keep the anger off his face. While Tony had a lot of fun at the party last night, he didn’t drink at all. In fact, he had been sober for more than a year at Bucky and Steve’s request when they learned he had a drinking problem. The only thing Tony had consumed last night was ice water with lemon, but of course Clint apparently saw something else. 

“Can you not be so loud? He has a headache.” Bucky said through gritted teeth. He noticed Tony’s muscles clenching at Clint’s increasing volume. 

“Dramatic,” Clint rolled his eyes. He picked up the remote and turned the TV on. 

Bucky felt Tony pulling away suddenly. “Bathroom,” Tony whispered. Bucky looked at him sadly but nodded. Steve sat next to him just as the door to the bathroom closed. 

“You know, you could be nicer to him,” Bucky growled lowly so Tony couldn’t hear. 

“The world already bows down to him, why do I have to too?” Clint grumbled. He turned the TV up louder and leaned forward to ignore their looks. Even Bruce who was silent through the whole thing frowned at him. 

Steve gave Bucky a look to back down and they fought with facial expressions for several minutes. It was when they heard a thud from the bathroom they got worried. 

Steve frowned at Bucky and walked over to the bathroom door. “Tony?” He knocked. There was no answer. Bucky got up and walked over. “It’s locked,” Steve told him. They both knocked louder but there was still no response. It took one try before Steve had knocked the door down. 

They found Tony on the ground unconscious with an empty bottle of pills in his limp hand. His body’s shaking was gradually increasing and horrible gurgling noises erupted from his mouth. “Bruce!” Steve called as he and Bucky kneeled next to the man. Both of their hands were shaking as they hovered over Tony’s body unsure what to do. 

“Shit!” Bruce shouted as he reached the doorway. He pushed the soldiers out of the way and rubbed a fist over Tony’s sternum while calling the man’s name. The third time his knuckles rubbed uncomfortably against the man’s chest, Tony’s eyes slowly opened and he started coughing.

Bucky and Steve cried with relief. “Turn him on his side,” Bruce commanded just as Tony started vomiting. “Clint- call 911, Natasha- have Jarvis show you where the Naloxone is,” he instructed. 

“It’s okay, baby, let it out,” Steve said as Tony started crying. 

“S’rry,” Tony coughed. 

“I know you are, it’s okay, just keep breathing for us, okay?” Steve said softly while rubbing Tony’s hair. 

They knew Tony had dark thoughts during his depressive episodes but this was the first time he acted on them. Bucky wondered if it was because of Clint’s harsh words. 

Just as Bruce injected the Naloxone into Tony’s thigh, the man lost his remaining energy and went limp. His eyes fluttered as he fought to stay awake but it was a losing battle. Luckily the paramedics were seconds away from bursting through the door.

Chapter Text

It was one of the rare times Tony and Steve were home at the same time, in fact all the Avengers seemed to be home from their missions. Carter was so happy to have both of daddies home, so to celebrate Tony decided to cook his son’s favorite food- spaghetti.

As soon as the idea was mentioned, all the Avengers had wandered up from their individual floors to the family floor in anticipation of the home cooked meal. Tony’s spaghetti was extremely delicious due to his special italian spices and his grandmother’s traditional recipe. Carter was not the only one excited for the meal. Bruce decided to make baked zucchini chips and garlic bread in addition to Tony’s entree. The Avengers put a movie on in the background while they broke out a bunch of board games.

Tony set the water to boil before joining the game of Monopoly cuddled against Steve. He had Carter in his lap who was occupied with playing with the game pieces. Bucky was also on Tony’s other side and the genius was helping Bucky cheat by guiding the soldier on which properties to buy. It was not long before Carter got bored and left Tony’s lap.

It was no secret Tony was the best at monopoly, he was practically born into the game. He got really competitive and focused leading to Steve having to practically push Tony off his lap to check on the bubbling water.

Tony grumbled but finally stumbled up and walked to the kitchen. Just as he rounded the island, his heart stopped as he saw his son reaching on his tippy toes for the boiling pot’s handle. His shout made the situation worse though because the boy jumped, knocking the pot, and if not for Tony’s quick reflexes, it would have covered the small boy. Tony jumped right in time to knock Carter out of the way, letting the pot spill on himself, but effectively keeping his son out of harm’s way. But after he felt the scalding water coat almost half of his body, he knew no more.

Steve jumped up at Tony’s shout just in time to see the boiling pot of water fall over and cover his husband along. The sound of Carter’s cries and hot sizzling, the view of misty smoke, and the smell of burning flesh quickly flooded his senses as he ran over.

Tony stood frozen at the stove. The only movement was his body’s involuntary shaking and Steve was frightened to look. He reached Tony just in time for the man’s body to go limp. Steve, who’s hand was on the back of Tony’s head, carefully lowered Tony flat with the help of Bruce and Clint who were at his side. It was then he finally got a god look at his husband.

The scalding water had burned Tony’s bottom half horribly. His legs, which were exposed below his shorts, were bright red and quickly swelling. The bottom half of his shirt was wet but stuck to his stomach. The water had also splashed his hands and arms, and if Steve wasn’t sure Tony was in a lot of pain, the intricate patterns of red and pink on his arms might have been pretty.

In his intense observation of the burns, it wasn’t until he heard a grunt that his eyes wandered his husband’s face. Tony’s eyes were squeezed shut but blood was dripping from his mouth as he bit through his lip. Steve’s eyes widened and he quickly moved up to Tony’s face.

“Tony, baby, look at me, open your eyes,” Steve called frantically. He vaguely heard Bruce shouting orders to the other Avengers but he was too focused on his husband.

Steve tapped Tony’s face lightly when his eyes simply tightened and tears squeezed out. “Baby, please, look at me,” Steve pleaded.

Finally Tony’s eyes wrenched open. They were bright red and watery with tears. “There’s my genius,” Steve forced himself to smile. “Take a deep breath now, okay? I know it hurts, you can scream all you want.”

Tony’s breath hitched but he kept biting his lip and forcing down whimpers. When Steve went to ask again, Tony quickly moved his eyes to something next to them. Steve followed his gaze and saw Carter staring at them from the edge of the kitchen. The little boy’s lip was wobbling as he took in the scene and his big blue eyes were shining with tears. A multitude of emotions flooded through Steve but he quickly forced out “Clint, can you take Carter to his room, please?”

As soon as the door to the elevator closed, Tony let out a loud sob that had Steve kissing the man’s face. “It’s okay baby, I know it hurts,” Steve said softly.

Steve watched as Bruce laid a cool cloth over the burns and pulled out a first aid kit. Natasha was on the phone with the ambulance talking frantically in hushed tones.

It was then Steve noticed Bucky. The man was standing, staring at the scene with an unreadable expression. Steve connected eyes with his oldest friend and called him over with his eyes.

Bucky snapped out of his daze and walked over, kneeling next to Steve and over Tony. Without prompt, he uncurled Tony’s fingers and forced them to relax with his own hands. “Hey Tones,” Bucky said in a low voice. “Did I ever tell you about the weekend I spent in Wakanda last month for a mission?” Steve watched Tony shake his head and take another round of breaths while focusing on Bucky’s voice. In reality, Bucky did tell Tony all about the trip when he got home from it, but Steve knew Bucky’s retelling of Tony’s favorite place on Earth would help calm him down.

While Bucky talked, Steve moved towards Tony’s legs next to Bruce. “What’s happening?” He asked the doctor quietly. While the burns were still bright red, some of them had started peeling and the swelling was becoming more noticeable.

“Ambulance is coming up the elevator now. It looks like second-degree burns but I don’t know for sure,” Bruce said sadly.

Steve nodded his thanks and moved back towards Tony as the paramedics came in.

It was painful to watch the medical professionals peel Tony’s shirt from his stomach, but not as painful as listening to Tony’s screams as his burnt skin clung on tightly to the fabric. Despite Tony’s hands being burned, he squeezed Bucky’s fingers tensely as he fought the pain.

They loaded Tony onto the stretcher but before they moved him to the ambulance, the genius asked to see Carter. Tony was still in pain but Steve could see he was fighting to keep it off his face as the little boy was summoned and carried over to him.

“Did I hurt you daddy?” Carter’s bottom lip wobbled.

“Of course not, baby,” Tony smiled, pointing to his body which was covered up by blankets, not unlike bedtime. “Daddy’s going to be gone for a little bit but I want you to be good for your papa, okay?”

A few tears leaked from Carter’s eyes. “Can I come?”

“No, you have to keep your papa company, he gets lonely remember?” Carter nodded, glancing at Steve. “But i’ll be back soon, I promise.” Tony’s smile wobbled a bit but he kissed Carter on the forehead.

“What about the spaghetti?” Carter asked.

Tony let out a wet laugh. “We’ll have spaghetti when I get back, okay?” Carter nodded and waved softly as Clint carried him away from the stretcher.

Steve gave his husband a kiss and nodded at Bucky, who nodded back meaningfully before following the stretcher. He wanted to go with Tony but he knew the genius would rather him stay with their son and make sure he was okay. He trusted Bucky to look after Tony.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, the group all let out a distressed sigh. Finally, it was Carter’s voice that forced them all out of their thoughts. “Can we make shawarma for daddy?”

Chapter Text

Tony being a supergenius, Steve was used to his boyfriend experiencing headaches and migraines after long days of sciencing. But it wasn’t until one of their Avengers Friday night dinners the suspicion in the pit of his stomach started acting up. 

While they usually chose informal restaurants to eat at like Applebees and Fridays, they had decided to try something fancier and eat at a gourmet italian place a few blocks away from the tower. The Avengers were escorted up to the top floor, overlooking the bright city, and seated at a special table. Tony, Bruce, and Sam all wore black suits while he, Bucky, Clint, and Vision wore pale button up shirts and dark pants. Natasha had on a beautiful black dress that complimented her shiny red hair. 

They each ordered hard-to-pronounce entrees and red wine. While the Avengers waited for their food, they devoured the table’s breadsticks and told jokes around the table. Steve had noticed Tony, who was usually lively and the center of the party, being unusually quiet. As the dinner went on, the man’s head moved closer and closer to the table and his eyes drooped further and further. 

Steve eventually scooted his chair closer to Tony’s and moved his boyfriend’s head to his own shoulder. “Sleepy, baby?” Steve whispered as the others around them talked. 

The question seemed to wake Tony up a bit and his fist came up to rub at his eyes not unsimilar to a toddler. “Headache,” Tony muttered. Steve frowned and pulled the man closer to him. A few of the others glanced at them but continued their conversations. Steve pulled out an advil which he had taken to keeping on him since Tony had been having frequent headaches during the last month. 

But as the night came to an end, it was obvious the medicine was not helping at all. In fact, Tony’s headache seemed to be worsening with every minute. By the time the Avengers were packing up their food to go, Tony was moaning in pain and flinching at every noise. He quickly threw his credit card on the table as whispered to Steve “Can I wait in the car?” 

Steve looked at his boyfriend sadly and nodded. “Let me help you, baby,” he said when Tony moved to get up. The man was trembling and swaying slightly and Steve was worried he was going to pass out. Steve nodded at the Avengers who watched silently and helped Tony walk away from the table. They didn’t get far before Tony’s body collapsed in a seizure. 

Tony had never in his life had a seizure so Steve was immediately concerned something was wrong. People don’t just have seizures. Tony disagreed and refused to go to the doctor. Steve should have pushed then, but he didn’t. They ignored Bruce’s concerned pleading to get checked out and simply believed it would never happen again. 

Later on, he learned that wasn’t the first and only time Tony had experienced a seizure. Just two days before, they had been in Tony’s workshop when the man suddenly froze in the middle of a conversation. For 10 seconds straight he seemed to stare into space. His eyes were blinking hard and his mouth seemed to be grinding, but Steve chalked it up to him thinking about an equation or something. 10 seconds later, Tony had a split moment of confusion before he resumed the conversation. Thinking back, Steve wondered how many times he saw Tony space out it had actually been an absence seizure. 

The next week after Tony’s grand mal seizure at the restaurant, Steve had noticed his boyfriend had...changed.

He became more irritated and cranky. His quick, lighthearted wit Steve had come to love became biting and angry. In two days they had had over five arguments over silly things like putting too much syrup on pancakes. It was weird, but Steve told himself it wasn’t. 

Tony’s memory also seemed to become spotty. Simple things like forgetting to call Fury or not remembering the name of streets. Steve tried to tell himself it was normal, but he knew deep down that because of Tony’s eidetic memory, Tony always remembered things like this, and his inability to call Fury was more because he simply didn’t want to rather than forgetfulness. It wasn’t until the genius came running upstairs frightenedly inquiring about Jarvis’ whereabouts that Steve considered the idea something might be wrong. 

Tony also became way more tired than usual. The man was known to stay up for days running on only coffee and energy bars, but soon it was normal to see him sleeping on the couch in the middle of the day or going to bed before they even sat down for dinner. Steve told himself Tony was just working harder and therefore becoming more tired, but even he had trouble trying to convince himself to believe the fabrication. 

It was when Steve rushed home after a call from Clint to find Tony in the midst of his third seizure, they finally decided to force him to the doctor. 

Brain cancer, the doctor told them. 

Steve’s world shattered at the words. He could tell Tony was trying to remain strong, but after learning his mind would be leaving him and actually feeling the effects, it was becoming harder for him to stay optimistic. Tony’s brain was who he was, it’s what made him Tony Stark. Tony considered his body just a transport to carry his mind place to place and to learn he would be slowly losing the capabilities of his favorite organ, it was hard. 

Tony went through three rounds of chemotherapy before he quit. Even though Steve knew the medicine was potentially life-saving, he agreed with Tony’s decision. The three weeks of chemo Tony went through were probably the hardest three weeks of his life. Tony had horrible side effects from the medicine due to large doses he was required for his type of cancer. 

He vomited constantly, and when he wasn’t attached to the toilet, he was having intense nausea. His hair fell out, which caused a big breakdown. He had intense mouth sores. They tried ice chips and mouthwash and medicines but it didn’t help much. Because it was so painful to have anything in his mouth, Tony lost insane amounts of weight with his refusal to eat. It was until Bruce gave him the ultimatum of eating or getting a feeding tube that Tony finally forced himself to consume something. But even the protein shakes and food supplements did not help him gain the weight back. Steve hated the reminder of Tony’s sickness every time he removed his clothes to see the sickly emaciated frame. 

Tony also lost the ability to move by himself. The tumor messed with balance and the chemo made his limbs weaker and joints achy. Tony tried to hide his struggles until Steve heard him slip and fall while trying to leave the shower. Luckily he was okay, but it was opening Steve’s eyes even more on how not okay Tony was becoming. 

When Tony stopped chemo, they were able to pretend things were okay for about a month and a half. He stopped vomiting, his mouth sores disappeared, even his hair grew back a little. He was able to move around better with the medicine not draining his energy and causing him pain. They took this time to travel and simply enjoy the time they had left together. Steve was able to pretend like things were okay, things were normal. Until one day Tony couldn’t see. 

Steve was sitting on the couch watching a history documentary. All the Avengers were on their respective floors, either training, sleeping, or doing an experiment. Tony was taking a nap because even though he stopped chemo his chronic fatigue never left. Steve was right in the middle of the whiskey rebellion when he heard his name being called. Well, it was more like a scream. It was followed by a thud that had Steve racing to the bedroom. 

He found Tony on the ground seizing violently. His eyes were wide open but unmoving as his body shook tightly. It was not like his typical spasm-like seizures where his body seemed to clench and unclench rhythmically, this one looked painful the way his body was held stiff and simply shook and jerked. Tony’s mouth was frothing and his neck was thrown back as he grunted. Steve slid a pillow under Tony’s head and sat down next to the shaking man. He rubbed Tony’s hair gently, hoping the unsettling grunts would stop but it didn’t help.

Just as the seizure went into the fourth minute, Tony’s body finally started to slow it’s shaking and his limbs became less tense. Tony continued breathing heavy and even when the shaking finished, his fingers continued to twitch. “It’s okay baby, you’re okay,” Steve whispered as he waited for Tony to come out of it. 

“There’s my pretty genius,” Steve smiled as Tony finally blinked awake. He frowned when Tony started blinking frantically and his breathing picked up. 

“Can’t see,” Tony slurred. His fists came up to rub at his eyes and Steve caught them, prompting a whimper out of Tony. 

“It’s okay, baby,” Steve said calmly. “It’s probably just the seizure, take a nap and you should feel better when you wake up.” Steve's heart was in his throat but he didn’t want Tony to panic. 

He counted it as a win when Tony’s breathing slowed and he nodded. Steve pulled the man up by his armpits and frowned when Tony’s body seemed to slump like it couldn’t hold itself up. Once again he told himself it was because Tony was sleepy after the seizure, which was likely to be true. 

But when the man woke up still blind and unable to even get up out of the bed on his own, he rushed Tony to the oncologist. Luckily, the blindness was only temporary but it did mean that the brain tumor was spreading. They took the news of Tony’s cancer getting worse badly. Steve and the team were devastated and could not keep the constant sadness off their faces. Tony went through several phases of emotions but the main one seemed to be anger. Steve totally understood though. Tony had gone through hell all of his life and when he finally was able to settle down with a job he likes, a man he loves, and a family he has to lose it all. It wasn’t fair. 

Steve will never forget Tony’s only breakdown. It was about three months after Tony’s blind episode. Tony had regained his vision back about two days after but he would randomly have blind episodes often and he started having problems with his normal vision. Three months after the episode Tony required permanent glasses since his vision was so bad. All of Tony’s symptoms had returned and were getting even worse than Steve could have imagined. But this particular day was one of Tony’s bad days where all the symptoms were at their worst. 

It started when Tony woke up groaning in pain. Tony’s fatigue kept him sleeping until at least 1pm every day, so Steve was already up when he heard Tony’s cries. He rushed in to see Tony’s muscles clenched rigidly and in particular his legs seemed to be kicking out in painful spasms. Steve climbed on the bed and started massaging the tight limbs. Tony’s legs were often painful to the touch so he used a light hand to massage out the tense muscles. He knew it was going to be a bad day because even after the 30 minute massage, Tony’s legs were still hurting badly. 

Steve decided to give Tony a Epsom salt bath, hoping it would help relax his muscles. He carried the man bridal style into the bathroom and set everything up. In his painful state, Tony could not do much but shiver in Steve’s lap in the warm tub as the man helped him relax. 

Another tell that it was a bad day was Tony’s speech. While on a good day the man had a small lisp, today his slurred words were almost unintelligible. In addition, he was deep in his brain fog. While Tony’s genius mind had an incredibly large vocabulary, today he forgot simple words like ‘sleep’, ‘bath’, and ‘food’. This was nothing compared to the heartbreak Steve felt when every so often Tony’s eyes would glaze over and he would mutter “Look dad, I found Captain America. Are you proud of me now?” Steve would hold back tears and say back “I am, I am so proud of you Tony. I’ve always been.” Tony’s smile would light up the room. 

After the bath, Steve dried Tony and got him dressed. He put Tony in comfy sweatpants and his favorite AC/DC shirt that was now extremely oversized due to Tony’s immense weight loss. Tony had been having breathing problems, another sign of his body shutting down, so now after sliding on Tony’s fuzzy socks, he had to place an oxygen cannula under Tony’s nose which was attached to a large tank. Finally Steve lifted his boyfriend into his hot rod red wheelchair with gold detailing. He put the tank on the back of the chair and lifted Tony’s frail feet onto the footrest. He placed a blanket onto Tony’s lap, since the man was now easily cold, before bringing him to the common floor for lunch. 

Everyone was happy to see the genius and he gave them a large smile. Steve rolled Tony up to the table just as Bruce put two plates in front of them. There was a noticeable contrast with Tony’s plate only containing soft, easy-to-swallow food. Steve alternated between eating and feeding Tony as the group joked and laughed. Tony tried to keep up with the conversation but Steve could tell he was having trouble following with his foggy brain. 

Tony was chewing a piece of chicken when he started choking. The horrible sounds alerted the whole table and caused both Steve and Bruce to jump up. Bruce ran behind Tony and hit him on the back several times until a rain of spit and food came out his mouth. Slowly Tony’s face lost it’s red hue and he started breathing deeply again. Steve took his own deep breaths and wiped Tony’s mouth with a cloth. “He needs to see a specialist. They can put in a feeding tube,” Bruce said softly when everyone calmed down. 

Steve’s face scrunched in anger. “He doesn’t need to see a specialist, he’s fine,” he snapped. In one quick motion he unlocked Tony’s chair and wheeled him away from the table and back to their bedroom. Tony, who was starting to doze, simply let him. 

When Tony was sitting back in the bed, he grabbed the water bottle on the side table and helped Tony take a few sips. Tony whimpered as the water tried to go down his spasming throat. Steve reclined Tony and started gently rubbing his neck to help his throat relax. “It’s okay baby, you’re okay,” he whispered. 

Tony finished coughing and looked up at Steve. “It’s not,” he rasped. “It’s not okay.” Steve looked down at the man and found tears in his eyes. “I don’t wanna live like this Stevie. It hurts.” Tony choked on a sob and Steve pulled him closer. He didn’t know what to say to his boyfriend. He couldn’t lose Tony. He just couldn’t . He stayed silent as Tony’s weak fists hit his chest in anger. He stayed silent as the sickly man cried himself to sleep. 

Tony received a permanent feeding tube two days later. Hooking Tony up to his bag of food for the first time was when everything really hit him. 

Tony was curled on the bed on his side, not because he wanted to, but because his limbs were almost permanently frozen in this tense state no matter how much Steve massaged them loose. He had just had two seizures back to back before the sun had even come up and was now resting with a headache. Bruce had been the one feeding Tony the last few days so today was the first time Steve did it on his own. Tony was still resting as the food traveled to his stomach so Steve decided to forgo his own breakfast and stay with his boyfriend. He was spooned up behind Tony and had the fragile man pulled up to his chest. Tony’s wrists felt like they would break if you squeezed too hard and Steve could wrap his whole hand around Tony’s leg. 

Tony’s body was constantly trembling and Steve was so used to it he couldn’t remember a time when Tony was completely still. He learned to live with the constant rumble against his chest and the small vibrations that surged through the bed. Even in sleep, Tony’s body shook with sickness and cold. 

So when he woke up wrapped around something cold and still, he immediately screamed with grief. 

Chapter Text

Bruce could tell that by the end of the fundraiser Tony was getting tired. He hovered, following his husband subtly as he made his rounds, talking to rich investors and stockholders. Towards the end of the night, Tony’s eye twitching started to pick up and when he saw Tony’s head throw itself back in the middle of a conversation, he pulled Tony to the bathroom.

“The nights almost over, okay?” He said softly, holding onto Tony from behind as the man fixed himself in the mirror. “You can do this.” Bruce hated encouraging Tony to hide his tics, but even he knew how important it was that these powerful people do not learn of Tony’s Tourettes.

Tony was diagnosed at 16 years old and from the moment the doctor told the small family that Tony was different, Howard had forced the boy into behavioral therapy to learn to control his tics. While Tony underwent these sessions, he also learned from his father’s shouts and slaps how important it was to not make a fool of himself. Howard called him a freak every moment he could and Tony knew it would be the same if anyone else learned of his disorder.

Bruce and Rhodey are the only two who knew. Rhodey, because he literally lived with the guy for half of his life, and Bruce because he was the love of his life. Since they started dating, it was clear their relationship would be without judgement and once Tony got proof of that, he gathered the courage to tell Bruce. While Tony was almost constantly concealing his tics, it was often tiring and painful to do so. So when he returned to the comfort and privacy of his own home, he finally let them fly. It was hard to do so now that the Avengers had moved in, but Tony would gladly take the exhaustion and pain versus telling them another weakness of his.

Bruce disagreed against the secrecy, but he didn’t try to force him to tell the others. There were many times like when they were discussing Ultron and Tony started giggling. The team took it for Tony being ignorant of the situation, when in fact Bruce knew it was a tic caused by the stress he was under. He had made a sound to try to get Tony to hold it back but he could tell by everyone’s faces they were just getting more angry.

Another thing they took for Tony’s playboy attitude was when he said he didn’t want to be handed things. One of Tony’s physical tics included tossing items when they were given to him, and although he worked hard to control that one, it was less likely to occur when someone he trusted handed him something.

Tony's Tourettes mainly consisted of physical tics but on occasion he did have verbal ones. Once in a while he would cuss, and Bruce literally wanted to punch Steve every time he said ‘language’ in response, causing everyone to laugh. Tony couldn’t control these shouts but to be fair, both he and the billionaire found them to be funny when Tony would yell out random things while they worked in the lab.

Their lab was the one other place besides the privacy of their bedroom that Tony would let his Tourettes be free. It was not uncommon to see blueberries suddenly flying in the air or an uncontrollable giggle fill the room. It was why Tony created hologram games so that he could force his Tourettes throw crumpled paper instead of his tools across the room. It helped immensely but every so often Bruce would duck as a screwdriver flew over his head.

Tony was able to hold it together for the rest of the fundraiser but when they returned home, Tony rushed to the penthouse just barely holding back a tic attack until their bedroom doors finally closed and locked.

Bruce pulled the man to the bed just as his knees gave out and his body started shuddering. In no time, Tony’s whole body was jerking uncontrollably, not unsimilar to a seizure. His neck was thrown back and his body twisted as his eyes twitched and his fingers started scratching himself. Bruce grimaced at the horrible sounding grunts and cusses that erupted from Tony’s throat. With great difficulty, he helped the man out of his shirt, avoiding Tony’s jerking hands that were close to hitting him several times. “You’re okay, Tones,” he chanted softly when he saw Tony trying to fight against the tics. “Let it happen, sweetie.”

When Tony was all changed, he put on a movie and got in bed with his husband. Tony was still jerking wildly but the bed was big enough to ensure he didn’t get hit. Doctors believed tic attacks were brought on by anxiety and stress so he hoped the movie and his presence would calm and distract Tony.

Halfway through the movie, he was forced to get Tony’s helmet and mittens when the man’s tics kept throwing his head back into the headboard and both scratching and punching himself. Even with the mittens, Tony was causing bruises by hitting his body.

In the morning, Tony was absolutely exhausted as well as bruised up and in pain. His muscles hurt severely from the attack and Bruce didn’t have the heart to force him to get up for the team breakfast. Instead, he spent the morning in bed with Tony, massaging his tense muscles and checking to make sure he didn’t pull anything. He put a soft collar around Tony’s neck when he saw the man could barely turn his head without pain.

It was well into the afternoon when Steve summoned them all to a briefing downstairs. Bruce hated having to force Tony awake when he was still in pain from yesterday, but he knew the brief was important. Tony groaned as Bruce helped him to the edge of the bed, the bruises his own fists made yelling in protest. They had to pause as Tony finally stood because his legs started to tremble, exhausted from all the jerking and kicking they did.

Bruce led Tony into the bathroom where they showered together. He used warm water which would relax Tony’s muscles. And he could tell the man appreciated it because he smiled gratefully with his eyes closed in bliss as Bruce delicately washed his body.

Bruce left Tony sitting on the bed as he changed. When Bruce looked over, he frowned when Tony’s eyes were twitching badly and his hands scratched at his exposed arms. He ran over to pull Tony’s hands away from his body and looked into his husband’s face. “You’re gonna be okay, calm down,” he said softly. He knew Tony’s tics were being brought on by his anxiety at facing the team so soon after an attack. He was less able to control and conceal tics immediately after. “I’ll be there the whole time, okay?” Tony nodded, which turned into a jerking tic causing him to throw back his head again. He grunted from the pain.

By the time they were ready to go, most of Tony’s tics had calmed down except for the scratching one. Bruce forced him to wear the mittens, which they had argued over for several minutes. Eventually, Tony took in his already bright red arm with scabbed cuts on them and had given in.

They made their way downstairs and entered the conference room. Steve turned his stern gaze to them when they entered and scolded them for being late. Tony followed Bruce quietly and they sat down at the large table. Everyone eyed Tony’s mittens but didn’t comment.

The briefing was long as Steve went over their next mission which would take place in three days. From the corner of his eye, he could see Tony’s tics happening under the table but they weren’t very noticeable. That was of course until Tony shouted “Fuck!” in the middle of Steve’s speech.

“Childish, Stark,” Steve shook his head. A few Avengers chuckled, Clint being the loudest. Bruce simply cringed.

“Sorry,” Tony said, head bowed. Bruce knew he genuinely didn’t mean to interrupt, but today was not a good day, Tourettes-wise.

Even with Tony’s apology, Steve couldn’t give it a rest. “No you’re not,” Steve scowled. Bruce saw Tony’s hand punch his own leg in distress. “You think you’re so funny, Stark. We are talking about peoples’ lives, here.”

Bruce sighed when he saw Tony looking guilty. “He doesn’t think it’s funny-”

He was cut off by a round of giggles from his husband. Steve’s eyebrows raised and he crossed his arms. “Fuck!” Tony shouted.

“Yes, fuck indeed,” Bruce muttered, rubbing his forehead.

“I apologize. I don’t think it’s funny, Steve,” Tony finally said, getting his mouth under control. “I didn’t mean it.”

Steve sighed, averting his eyes from the pair and continued talking.

Bruce took Tony’s hands under the table when he saw the man getting anxious. Despite what it may seem like on the outside, he knew Tony hated getting in arguments or fights with Steve. Tony revealed to him one day that he had flashbacks of Howard every time it happened and of the man telling him how freakish Captain America would think he was because of his disorder. Every time Steve focused those angry blue eyes on him, he had to force himself not to panic.

Tony was quiet for the rest of the briefing, but right at the end when Steve handed everyone a packet the review, Tony’s tic had him tossing the paper back at Steve’s face. He’d never seen the man look so murderous. “Get out!” Steve shouted.

Tony jumped up, mind already converting Steve into Howard with his arm raised above his head ready to deliver a blow. “He’s a mean one, Mr. Grinch!” Tony involuntarily shouted out in distress. He quickly covered his hands over his mouth.

Before Tony could dart out the room, Bruce stopped him. “He can’t help it, Steve. Leave him alone.” Tony already knew what Bruce was going to reveal when he saw the man avoiding his eye. “He has Tourettes.”

Tony grimaced and waited, but frowned Steve simply said, “What’s that?”

Bruce sighed, cleaning his glasses. “It’s a neurological disorder that causes involuntary movement.” He frowned when he saw Steve was still confused. “It means his body does things and says things against his control. He didn’t mean to curse or throw the paper at you, his body did it involuntarily.”

Steve immediately looked guilty and went to apologize but Tony cut him off. “It’s fine,” he said awkwardly. Steve nodded.

“If you have any books or recommended readings about the subject, I would appreciate it,” Steve said after a moment of silence. “Me too,” the other Avengers spoke up.

Tony looked up in surprise. “I’m not being kicked off the team?”

Steve frowned, “No, of course not.”

Tony turned to Bruce to see the man smiling. Tony smiled back as his husband pulled him into a hug. “Fuck!” Tony shouted, causing them all to laugh.

Chapter Text

It was movie night and the whole team was sprawled on the couches watching Harry Potter. It was a movie that appealed to their love of action but without the multitude of gunshots and cars flipping that would start up their PTSD. 

They were halfway through the movie when Clint heard his boyfriend humming softly. Tony was sharing a loveseat with him so he was most likely the only one who heard the sound over the loud movie playing. Taking a look at the man, he quickly realized what was happening. Tony had one eye shut and was rubbing at his left ear frustratedly. 

Clint tapped him gently and signed, “Ringing?” Tony nodded and put a hand on his forehead as if trying to force away a headache. Clint sighed and pulled the slightly smaller man towards him. He rested Tony’s head on his chest and ran his fingers through the genius’ hair. 

He knew Tony wouldn’t be able to focus on the movie with his left ear ringing annoyingly, but he knew Tony would want to stay in their company anyway. And because he knew Tony wouldn’t want anyone on the team to notice his struggles, he waited until everyone left the common room after the movie ended to help Tony to their room. 

He held out his hands for the genius and carefully the man stood, leaning on Clint to keep his balance. Clint held him still for several seconds as the man swayed. “I got you, baby,” Clint said. Tony’s eyes blinked quickly as he fought away a headache. He helped the man to bed and snuggled him close as Tony fought to ignore the ringing in his ear. 

When they woke up the next morning, Tony’s hearing had gone in that ear. It was nothing new, it had happened before, but Tony still hated it. Everyone knew Clint had hearing problems so they would adjust by talking louder or making sure he could see them when they spoke, but since they did not know about Tony’s condition, he struggled with communication when he had hearing loss episodes. He knew he would be sticking close to Clint today because of this. 

Tony still had the remains of a headache when he got up but Clint would not allow him the satisfaction of sleeping in later. He forced Tony out of the bed and helped him put the hearing aid in his ear. 

Since it was team bonding day, the Avengers were all going to the mall today to shop- it was all Natasha’s idea. Tony was anxious when he learned of it, anticipating the loud noises and bustling crowds, but since he did not have a valid excuse why he couldn’t go, he stayed quiet. 

The car ride there was fun as they fought over music choices, but arriving was its own heart attack in itself. Clint was forced to pull Tony to the side when the man almost screamed when they entered the mall. The noises pierced his ear, freaking out his hearing aid as it tried to pick up everything. Clint quickly pulled out the aid and adjusted the levels as Tony fought off another headache. After the levels were tuned lower, they joined the group again and started walking. Tony still found the lack of balance between his ears daunting, but he tried to not let it show on his face. 

They went into many shops and most people ignored the group in favor of their own shopping adventure. It was towards the end of their trip that things went downhill. 

The group was in the middle of a store, following Natasha around as she looked at different outfits. Tony was wandering with Clint through the aisles when the attack hit him. 

The world spun and danced before his eyes and he couldn’t tell which way was up. It was pure luck he was able to grab onto Clint who was examining something on a rack. “Tones?” Clint asked in concern. 

Tony whimpered in response as his world tilted to the side. Clint quickly dropped what he was holding and grabbed Tony by the waist. He pulled the dizzy man toward himself and let Tony’s head rest on his shoulder. He moved the man’s arms around his neck and cradled the back of his head. “You’re okay, baby. Breathe it out,” he said softly while looking around for Bruce. 

When he spotted the man not too far from them looking at ties, he gestured him over. Bruce ran over just as Tony started groaning. “Vertigo,” Clint supplied. Tony had these episodes often because of his disease, but this was the first time it happened in public. 

Bruce nodded and went to speak just as Tony groaned louder. “Clint, I can’t- I gotta,” he panted just as his body collapsed. He was still leaning against Clint but his knees had given out. Bruce quickly put his hands on Tony’s waist to help support him. 

“Do you want to lay down, baby?” Clint asked into the man’s good ear. 

Tony’s head flopped in a nod before he grimaced. Clint nodded to Bruce and gently they lowered the genius to the floor. Clint sat himself down so that Tony’s head was placed in his lap and held steady. He knew Tony’s vertigo worsened if his head moved a lot. 

It was then Clint noticed the other Avengers surrounding them, preventing shoppers from seeing the commotion. Bruce was checking Tony’s temperature and vitals while Steve spoke to the lady who ran the store. Clint tuned them all out and focused on Tony who’s groaning was growing more pain-filled. “Relax, baby, you’re okay,” Clint said softly. 

“BB?” Tony whimpered Clint’s nickname. 

Clint looked at Tony’s rolling eyes and knew he wasn’t able to see or focus on him. “I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere,” he said reassuringly, placing a hand on Tony’s cheek. Tony whimpered and grasped Clint’s pant leg. His eyes closed and his head rolled slightly. 

Steve came over with a water bottle. “The owner cleared out the store and also gave us this,” he said, handing Clint the water. 

Clint rubbed a gentle finger over Tony’s face. “Hey Tones, you want some water?” 

Tony hummed and Steve helped lift Tony into a sitting position. Immediately he tilted to the side, unable to hold himself up. “I got you, Tones,” Clint said, settling Tony into his lap. Tony rested his head against his boyfriend’s chest and Steve helped him drink a few sips of water. Tony groaned as the water went down his throat and Clint lightly rubbed his neck. “You’re okay,” he whispered soothingly. Tony groaned and tucked his head into Clint’s chest. 

“Should we get him to the car?” Steve asked from his side. 

Tony whimpered at the idea of moving. “Another five minutes then we’ll consider it. His attacks usually last about 20 minutes,” Clint informed Steve. The supersoldier nodded and stood to talk to Bruce. 

“I feel sick,” Tony rasped into Clint’s neck, a full body shudder going through him.

Clint played with the hair at the nape of Tony’s neck. “You need to throw up?” He asked, rubbing Tony’s arm. 

He felt Tony’s frown before the man shook his head. “Can you take it out?” Tony slurred after a moment of silence, gesturing lazily to his left ear. 

Clint nodded and retrieved the hearing aid, putting it in his pocket. He then shifted Tony sideways so his legs were hanging off of Clint’s bent knees and his arms were curled into his chest. His head rested against Clint’s heart and he was able to watch Tony better this way. “How do you feel?” Clint whispered. He had to repeat the question louder when he realized Tony didn’t hear him through his one working ear. 

Tony sighed, opening his eyes. “Better,” he rasped. While his eyes were slightly less wobbly, they still didn’t focus. 

“We can wait a little longer, Tones, no rush,” Clint said, a bit pleadingly. 

Tony took a deep breath and shook his head slightly. “Wanna go home,” he said. Tony started wiggling to get out of Clint’s lap. 

Clint knew Tony didn’t feel the best still but was probably embarrassed at appearing so weak in public. Clint sighed, understanding Tony’s dilemma. “We can go home.” 

Clint called over Steve and together they helped Tony stand. Tony’s eyes drifted closed and he swayed, lightheaded. “Tell me when you’re ready, Tones,” Clint said softly into the man’s hair. 

“M’ okay,” he slurred, stepping back from Clint. Tony looked down at his feet and Clint could practically see his swimming vision as he tried to focus. 

“Take it slow, okay? Let me know if you have to throw up,” Clint said. He saw Steve’s eyes widen at the exchange but he ignored him. Tony almost always threw up during a vertigo attack and knew he was trying hard to hold it back now. 

Clint watched as Tony’s mask was put in place before he walked past the curious crowd outside the store. He walked confidently and normally but Clint felt the biting grip on his arm that said one stumble and Tony was going down. 

As soon as they got Tony into the car, Clint shoved a bag under his boyfriend’s chin as he threw up. Clint buckled him in and rubbed his back as he threw up during the majority of the bumpy ride. 

They spent the rest of the day in bed as Tony was extremely lethargic after his vision finally cleared. Clint held him close and kissed his hurts away.

Chapter Text

When the huge ship landed in their front yard and their husband came stumbling out, Steve and Bucky could not help but cry. They ran, faster than they ever had before, towards Tony as he was helped down the stairs by a blue girl. Tony’s mouth was wide as he took in huge breaths and his whole body shook horribly. Just as the pair reached him, his legs collapsed, unable to hold his weight anymore. But that was okay, because his supersoldier husbands were there to catch him. 

Tony was about 20 minutes away from death on that ship, and his body took care to make him remember. He often had moments where he would space out, his mind far from the compound, which would be followed by a severe panic attack where Steve and Bucky spend anxious minutes trying to coax Tony to breathe normally- his brain telling him the oxygen was gone from the room. In addition, Bruce brought in a CPAP machine for him to sleep with because he would be plagued by nightmares so vicious sometimes he stopped breathing during the night- the machine would force life back into him. Even so, Steve and Bucky would take shifts to watch over him while he slept. 

Last night was one of those nights where Tony was constantly in the fits of a nightmare, unconsciously fighting Thanos before dying in space. Bucky and Steve woke him up four times, but each time he would fall asleep to the same fate. In the morning, all three of them were exhausted. 

“Come on baby, time to get up,” Bucky said softly, turning off the CPAP machine. Steve was already yawning on the other side of the bed, but he could see Tony scrunching his eyes, trying to will himself back to sleep. “Tones,” he sighed. 

Steve curled into Tony and tucked his nose into his husband’s neck. “Good morning, baby,” he whispered, kissing Tony lightly. The genius yawned and opened his eyes. 

“How about a bath, yeah?” Bucky said. Tony wasn’t strong enough to stand in the shower for long so it was easier for them to wash him in the tub. Tony yawned again in response and closed his eyes. 

Bucky huffed and lifted the man off the bed bridal style, prompting a small shout from Tony and a laugh from Steve. 

All three of them ended up in the tub and they were lucky it was so large. Steve reclined with Tony on his lap while Bucky helped wash the sickly man. Steve spent his time gently shampooing their husband’s hair. It was damaged from all the time it went without washing so he made sure to massage Tony’s sensitive scalp carefully. 

The bath didn’t take very long but they did spend time just relaxing in the warm water after they were all washed. Before anyone’s fingers could get pruny, they took Tony out of the tub and dried him off. He was already tired from that small bit of activity, but tried not to let it show. Steve and Bucky helped him slip on his clothes- sweatpants and a loose t-shirt with a grey hoodie on top. They put him in some soft, warm socks and gave him his iPad to fiddle with while they got dressed. 

After Steve and Bucky put on a similar comfortable attire, they gently woke up Tony who had fallen asleep again on the bed. The iPad had tumbled to the floor, but thankfully it was not broken. Before breakfast, they decided to do Tony’s exercises so the man could rest after. 

Steve took Tony’s legs and started stretching and bending them, while Bucky took the genius’ arms and moved them around in circle motions. They were instructed by the doctor to help Tony gain back strength by doing physical therapy. His muscles had atrophied during his time in space and this would help him get closer to normal. It was a slow road, but they tried to help as much as they could. 

When they were finished, Tony was panting slightly, his body shaking from the exercise. Steve helped him move to the edge of the bed where Bucky grabbed him by his waist to help him stand. Tony’s legs could still not completely hold his body weight for long, but he was getting stronger every day. Even so, the genius frequently got upset with himself over the lack of progress. His husbands make sure to remind him how grateful they are that he is even alive, being in a wheelchair is the least of their concern. 

While Bucky encouraged Tony to take a few shaking steps forward while he held him up, Steve pushed the wheelchair over to the pair. Tony was able to take about four steps before his legs gave out. Bucky slowly lowered the small man into the chair. 

Steve ran a hand through Tony’s still-drying hair. “You okay, baby?” He cooed. Tony nodded and continued taking deep gasping breaths. Bucky lifted Tony’s limp legs onto the footrests and placed a blanket onto the man’s lap.

“How you feeling, Tones?” Bucky whispered when he saw Tony’s scrunched up eyes and his tense grip on the armrests. “Want to rest for a second?” He saw Tony nod softly, so he sat on the ground in front of the chair. 

Ever since his struggle in space, Tony had brief periods of light-headedness and dizziness. Occasionally, he would faint or get bad migraines. They tried to help him when they occurred but there was usually no warning. Tony would be fine one minute and complain of something splitting his skull open the next. Bruce figured it had something to do with the low oxygen his brain received in space. 

The three sat quietly in the room while Tony fought through his dizziness. Steve rubbed his husband’s shoulder for support and Bucky placed a strong hand on his knee to ground him. After several minutes, Bucky was nervous Tony was about to pass out when his breathing got heavy. “Stay with us, baby,” Bucky said softly. 

Tony took a sudden breath and placed his hand on top of Bucky’s. Steve kissed Tony’s cheek when his eyes slowly opened. “Glasses?” Tony muttered. Bucky jumped and grabbed the glasses from the side table. He put them onto Tony slowly and the man helped him adjust them onto his nose. Bucky leaned down and looked into the genius’ eyes. “M’okay,” Tony said, shifting in the chair. 

Bucky re-tucked the blanket and nodded. Steve took the cue and started pushing Tony out the door. Bucky walked next to them, holding Tony’s hand.

Everyone was happy to see the genius and Rhodey couldn’t help but come over to fist bump Tony as he was wheeled to the table. It was a good distraction for Steve to quickly pull out the table’s chair to make space for Tony’s wheelchair. The man got frustrated about small things like that- he would much prefer to shakingly transfer over and spend the rest of breakfast tense as he fought to not fall out of the armless chair everyone else was sat in. 

Breakfast was made by Bruce and Natasha- a large table full of pancakes, omelets, bacon, and more. Bucky could already see Tony frowning at the thought of all that food, so he made his husband’s plate for him. He put on about four spoonfuls of eggs, two pieces of bacon, and a pancake. Tony’s face was tinted green as the plate was put in front of him, but Bucky gave him a pleading look. 

Tony’s stomach had shrunk drastically during his time in space and now it was hard for him to eat normal amounts of food. Steve and Bucky had spent many hours in the bathroom, sitting with Tony as he vomited. 

Tony ate about two spoonfuls of eggs and a piece of bacon before he claimed he was full. Bucky forced him to eat half of the pancake before he was allowed to be done.

Steve noticed and leaned towards Tony. “You want to take a nap?” He said softly, entwining their fingers together. 

Tony huffed and fidgeted in the chair. “M’ not tired.” Steve knew Tony hated how weak he’d gotten and his lethargy was just another reminder. 

Steve sighed before smiling and turning to the whole table. “Anyone down for a movie?” 

The Avengers gathered on the couches and floor to watch a romantic comedy. Tony, who was snuggled in between his two husbands on the couch, sighed and allowed his eyes to slide closed. “Love you,” he murmured. 

His two husbands smiled and gave him identical kisses on each cheek. 

Chapter Text

While the Avengers worked hard on missions, they were extremely lazy in between them. They would often go months between a big city disaster and they spent it staying up all day, partying all night, and eating. They loved to eat. But when you weren’t employed and lived in a mansion with all of your friends, laziness was extremely tempting and easy to give in to. 

Tony, though, had three jobs. He was an Avenger like the rest of them, and while their job was done after they came home from a mission- Tony’s was far from it. He had to rebuild his Iron Man suit every time they came home from battle, often immediately because they never knew how soon the next threat would occur. But while he was working constantly on repairs, he was usually often recovering from the battle physically. He didn’t have expert training or supersoldier serum to help him out- he was completely human, and humans get hurt. The suit would protect him from the brunt of it, but the injuries from bouncing around in a metal suit usually included a few broken ribs, a few sprains, and lots and lots of bruises. 

His second job was SI. Just because Pepper was CEO doesn’t mean his work was just erased. He still had to attend meetings, fill out paperwork, and actually come up with the ideas. In fact, making Pepper CEO made things worse for him because people assumed he had more time to come up with products and ideas and demanded more. When he did try to take a break for himself, his stocks dropped with investors thinking he was reverting to his old, lazy ways. 

His third job was as the Avengers consultant. Fury still wanted him to do the job despite being on the team and it turned out to be the most stressful one of all three. He did more work than Fury with designing and producing Avengers weaponry, writing up debriefs, managing the finances, and handling the legal stuff Fury couldn’t be bothered with. 

Tony was very often stressed out but he tried not to make it obvious to his boyfriends. He still managed to hang out when they asked and go to bed with them on time. They didn’t need to know that he waited until they were asleep to sneak down to the lab to work. But of course, it was inevitable they would eventually find out. 

Steve and Bucky went to bed early since they were up all night previously. Tony snuggled into his large cuddly boys until 10pm when he heard snores from both sides. Like a cat, he quietly stretched over Steve, making sure to make no sounds at all. When his bare toes finally touched the carpet, he skidded out the room, rushing down to the lab. 

His emails were full and he had seventeen missed calls. He scratched his tired eyes and yawned. He had lots of work to do. 

He didn’t even realize it was morning until he had two Avengers coming down the steps to his workshop. He was in the middle of updating Karen’s code (Spider-Man’s AI) while waiting for the new StarkPhone update to load when they walked in. He didn’t break his eyes from the four computers around him but he knew it was Natasha and Clint from their soft, almost unnoticeable footsteps as they approached. 

“Hey Wonderboy, I need a new bow, this ones too stiff,” Clint said, dropping the weapon onto Tony’s desk and causing a bunch of papers to scatter. Tony jumped at the sound and broke his concentration from the screen. 

“And my widow bites are acting up, I need you to fix it ASAP. I have a SHIELD mission tomorrow morning,” Natasha added. 

Tony looked between them, the equipment, and the computer, his mind swirling. Code was still flickering in his head as he tried to comprehend what they were telling him. “You need a new bow- no Clint needs...and you. Okay, I got it, just, yeah, tomorrow,” Tony stuttered.

“Morning,” Natasha added, turning to leave. 

“Morning. Tomorrow morning. Got it,” Tony repeated. He jumped just as a loud crash lit up the workshop. He turned to see Clint and Butterfingers on the ground along with a huge pile of metal tools. 

“Sorry,” the archer said sheepishly. 

Tony blinked, clenching and unclenching his fingers. “It’s...fine. Can you just...go?” He said, not unkindly. 

Clint huffed and followed Natasha out, who cuffed him on the back of the head. 

Taking a deep breath, Tony looked at the mess and the equipment and the robot and the computer and the phone. He walked over to help up Butterfingers and picked up a few tools. 

Just as he was picking up a wrench, something beeped causing him to run over to his other workspace. The update on the phone downloaded but took up way too much space- Pepper wouldn’t like it. He ran through the coding and statistics on the phone and took notes on a stray pen and paper. He started un-downloading the update to be reconfigured. 

Running back over to Karen’s code, his mind frazzled and he couldn’t remember what digit he was on. Was it 002 or 097 or 054? Putting in the wrong code could destroy his AI. As his hands hovered over the keyboard and his mind raced to sort itself, Bruce walked in, upset. 

“Tony? Our experiment?” The man said. 

Tony paused his coding thoughts and shifted over to his to-do list. He did say he was going to help Bruce this morning in his lab. “I’m sorry, buddy. It’s just-”

“You forgot?” Bruce said sadly. 

“No, I didn’t forget. I’ll come right now, I just-” Tony pleaded. 

“No, it’s fine, Tony.” Bruce hung his head and walked out. 

Tony felt like shit. He turned back to his mess of a lab and pulled at his hair in frustration. He fought back the tears that threatened to fall and tried to calm his racing heart. The air seemed to get thinner as he tried to sort out his thoughts. 

“Goodmorning, Tones. Do you think you could look at Buck’s arm? He said it’s- What’s wrong?” Tony felt hands on his trying to remove his tight grip from his hair. “Baby, stop that, what’s going on?” Steve said softly, standing in front of him. 

Tony couldn’t meet his boyfriend’s eyes as his thoughts still raced. “Bruce needs Widow bites, and Clint has an experiment, and Nat needs to know if its 054 or 065 or 003 or-” Tony rambled, swaying. He looked a right mess with tears flowing from his bruised eyes which flickered around the room, lost. It wasn’t until Steve grabbed his forearms to steady him that he realized how dizzy he was. 

“Breathe baby, you need to breathe.” He vaguely heard Steve call for Bucky but he was too focused on the numbers circling his mind and the suffocating feeling in his lungs. It suddenly felt like he was drowning and soon even Steve’s voice sounded far as he drifted away from the shore.

Bucky arrived just as Tony’s knees gave out. Steve grabbed the genius from around the waist to hold him up and Bucky stood in front of him. “I’m fine,” Tony slurred, stumbling. He grabbed onto Bucky’s arm to help steady himself. 

Bruce and the rest came running downstairs seconds later. Steve slowly removed his arms from Tony as the man kept insisting he was fine. “What happened?” Bruce said as he reached the group. As he said it, Tony’s knees collapsed again. Steve and Bucky held the men up by his bent arms and Bruce held him from the front. “Why don’t you sit down, Tony?” 

Tony blinked slowly and looked to Bruce. “I’m fine, I got work...I got work….I’m fine,” he mumbled. “I got lots a work to do.”

“Doll, I know you’re fine, but let’s lay down alright? Let's take a break then you can work,” Bucky spoke up. His heart was racing in concern for Tony. 

“Don’t feel good,” Tony slurred, his body going weak again. He fought to keep his head from his chest but something was pulling him to the darkness. It wasn’t long before he was yanked brutally and everything around him disappeared. 

Steve gasped as Tony collapsed like a puppet. He switched his hold so that he was holding Tony around the waist again and helped lower him to the ground. The genius was pale and clammy. His hair was limp and unkept and he seemed thinner than they remembered. “Tony, baby wake up,” Steve said, grazing Tony’s cheek. 

“Come on doll,” Bucky pleaded as the rest of the team moved in. 

Bruce turned into doctor-mode and took Tony’s vitals. “His heart is racing, what happened?” 

Bucky and Steve looked at each other. “I have no idea, I just came in and he was just muttering about bows and numbers and you guys,” Steve said confused. 

“He has a fever,” Bruce said. “And he’s really dehydrated.”

Suddenly, Tony groaned and his eyes flickered. “Hey, baby,” Steve smiled, running his fingers through Tony’s hair. 

“Don’ feel good,” Tony mumbled again, his eyes dragging. Bruce tapped his cheek until his eyes fluttered open again. Steve pulled the genius up by his armpits so he was sitting upright.

Tony’s head lolled against Steve’s chest and Bruce kneeled in front of the pair. “Does anything hurt Tony?” He was satisfied when Tony’s head shook lazily. “Dizzy,” the genius supplied, closing his eyes again. 

“Okay, just rest for a second, Tones,” Bruce said to the man. “I think he’s just exhausted and overworked,” he said to Tony’s anxious boyfriends. 

“So he’s going to be okay?” Steve asked, holding Tony tighter. 

Bruce nodded. “He’ll be fine, but this is a warning for us. If he ends up so stressed and overworked so bad that he faints like this, it could be something worse next time, like a heart attack.”

Everyone’s eyes widened. “I feel bad, I asked him to fix my bow when I know he is so busy,” Clint said sadly. 

“It is not just you, Mr. Barton,” Jarvis spoke up. Suddenly a large hologram appeared in front of them. “This is Mr.Stark’s To-Do List.” The hologram scrolled, showing over 100 tasks. 

“That’s a lot for one week,” Clint huffed. 

“This is a to-do list for one day , Mr. Barton,” Jarvis corrected. 

Steve and Bucky felt tears come to their eyes at the immense guilt that filled them up. They didn’t know Tony had so much on his plate. Everyone demanded so much of him, they shouldn’t be adding to that. 

Bruce sighed. “Listen guys, we all have a lot to be guilty for, but let's not feel sorry for ourselves, let’s help Tony. I’m sure there are some things we can do to lighten the load, we should all step up.”

They all nodded firmly, determined looks on their faces. 

And that’s how Tony woke up a day later to breakfast in bed and his to-do list drastically reduced. They were a team, and they would help their own.

Chapter Text

It’s been so long. 

It’s been so long since he didn’t wear a long-sleeve under his t-shirts. 

It’s been so long since he put on shorts. 

It’s been so long since he even considered sleeping nude. 

It’s been so long since his torso and legs have seen the light. 

So when Clint came into the common room, shouting about having a team bonding session at the pool, Tony was too excited to remember.

Too excited to remember there was a reason it’s been years since he even placed his feet in the water. 

Too excited to remember there was a reason his bathing suit still had the tag on it. 

Too excited to remember why he shakes in the shower, bolting the door shut, anxious someone would burst in and see . 

See his body, see what Howard did to it. 

So when they got down to the pool, Tony didn’t even think twice. 

He watched Clint strip himself nude before jumping in, prompting everyone to groan and laugh. 

He watched Natasha jump in after him in her skin-tight bikini, dunking the archer as soon as she hit the water. 

He watched Steve and Bruce follow more sedately, pulling off their shirts so their bare, shivering torsos were revealed on top of their colourful swim shorts. 

So he didn’t think twice in joining in the smiles and pulling off his shirt. Just as he moved to cannonball into the pool, everyone gasped. 

He frowned, frozen in jump-position and followed their gazes to his torso. It was then he remembered. 

Remembered his horribly scarred body that was covered in jagged marks. 

Remembered the cigarette burns that littered up his belly and arms. 

Remembered the chemical burns that splattered his chest. 

Remembered the stitches that barely held his skin together, even after all these years. 

Remembered how horrible he looked. 

Remembered how ugly he looked. 

Remembered how freakish he looked.  

So he ran. But he was stopped. 

He didn’t realize in his shock that Steve had come dripping out the water, walking towards him, gaze on his abdomen unmoving. “What did you do to yourself?” He gasped. 

It was then Tony felt it. 

His shame turned to shock. 

His embarrassment turned to anger. 

“You think I did this to myself?” Tony managed to choke out. 

Clint nodded. “Well you are horrible at taking care of yourself. I’m not surprised you look like frankenstein,” he chuckled. 

Tony forced back the tears that ached to pour out his eyes. “You think I did this to myself?” He repeated. He took a deep breath and forced himself to stare into his teammates eyes. 

He pointed to a large scar that crossed along his lower stomach. “This one was for dropping a tool.” He pointed to a chemical burn splatter. “Howard’s experiment went wrong so he decided I should be the one to pay for it.” He found another scar that had small shadows of stitches along its length. “Howard got mad that I left my toys in the living room.”

“Tony, Howard would never-” Steve started. 

Tony continued, showing the scars on his back. “Howard pushed me into a glass table when I was in his way.” He pointed to several masses of scars. “Sometimes he would smash his beer bottle on me when he was mad.”

“Please, stop,” Bruce suddenly spoke up. Tony realized the scientist was crying just as much as he was. 

“Fuck you,” Tony said into Steve’s face, suddenly angry. He pointed at the dozens and dozens of cigarette burns all over his body. “These are for every time a search for Captain America came up empty.” He pointed to the largest scar on his abdomen. It stretched across the top of his bicep down to below his belly button. “And this is when he decided I could never live up to you. This is when he decided that he no longer wanted a son if it wasn’t Steve Rogers, his proudest achievement. This is the moment I decided I hated Captain America.” Tony turned and ran back inside. 

“Tones, please,” Bruce said, grabbing him from behind. Tony was in the middle of a panic attack in the living room. He was scratching every piece of skin he could reach and was screaming at the top of his lungs. 

He was horrible.

He was ugly. 

He was a freak . 

Bruce wrapped his arms around Tony’s back, restraining the man’s hands and lowering him to the ground. They leaned against the couch as Tony fought to get loose, screaming. “You’re okay, Tones. Let it out,” Bruce said softly, simply holding the man. 

It was minutes until Tony started calming down, going quiet and limp in Bruce’s arms. The other Avengers stood in the doorway, watching guiltily. “I hate myself, Bruce. I hate what a freak Howard made me,” Tony whispered. 

Bruce turned Tony so he was facing him. “You are not a freak, you are a survivor. We love every piece of you. Every scar, every burn, makes you, you.” Bruce ran gentle fingers along Tony’s scars. The genius closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath. No one had ever touched them before, at least not as lovingly as Bruce did. “I love you, Tony Stark,” Bruce smiled. 

Tony cried because that moment was the first time he felt like a person. 

He didn’t feel horrible, or ugly, or freakish. 

He felt loved .

Chapter Text

Thor noticed before his boyfriend did. 

Every night for bed they snuggle up as close to each other as possible. Tony is pressed into Thor’s warm chest, their legs tangled together, while Thor snuggles his face into Tony’s soft, fluffy hair. But one night, when Tony woke up at 2am for his daily night-time tinkle, Thor saw something on the pillow. 

He blinked and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up, examining it closer.

It was hair. 

Tony’s hair. 

Thor picked up the black lock and studied it, confused. But when he heard the sink turn off and the door open, he quickly threw it in the trash, not wanting to alert his boyfriend. 

This continued for several days. More and more hair would be found on the pillow, in Thor’s hands, trapped in the brush. But he stayed quiet, not wanting to alert Tony. 

A big part of their relationship was hair. 

Tony loved sitting in front of the fire, brushing and braiding Thor’s golden locks. It was a daily routine for them. They sat and talked about their day, had intimate conversations. It was a calming and relaxing technique that helped them decompress. The best part of Tony’s day was when Thor would run his muscular, yet gentle fingers through his hair and cuddle him close. 

So when Tony woke four days later to his hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes completely gone, he lost it. “Don’t come in here!” He shouted when Thor knocked on the door. 

He locked himself inside the bathroom for hours, panicking and trying to figure out what to do. He did not want Thor to see him. The Asgardian would immediately break up with him, because without the fluffy black hair Thor loved- he was ugly. 

“Please, baby, let me in,” Thor pleaded, sitting in front of the door. He had been begging for Tony to let him inside for hours, but the genius was stubborn. He could hear cries and sniffles and all he wanted was to pull Tony into a hug.

“Please go, I don’t want you to see me like this,” Tony sniffed, his voice muffled by the door. 

Thor finally sighed and stood up. “I love you,” he said softly. Tony didn’t answer. Thor dragged his feet out of the bedroom. 

It was hours before Thor came back. Tony’s tears were dried up and he was drained. He felt so dirty, so ugly, and he would rather die than see the disappointment and disgust in Thor’s eyes. 

“Please come out, Tony, I love you so much,” Thor’s tired voice said from the other side. Tony knew Thor could bust down the door with his pinkie finger, but Thor respected him too much to do that. That was what he loved about him. 

Tony sighed and wiped his face with tissues. He looked like a complete mess, a complete bald and hairless mess. He knew it was time to face Thor. He hoped he could keep it together during the break-up. 

Tony opened the door slowly and stepped out. He collapsed to his knees when he saw what was on the other side. 

Thor stood in front of him, completely bald. 

“What? Why? How did you-?” Tony gasped out, tears preventing him from speaking clearly. 

“I love you so much, Man of Iron. Nothing could make me stop loving you,” Thor smiled. He held up the bag of his golden locks, severed and dead just like Tony’s. 

Tony jumped into Thor’s arms snuggling his face into the man’s neck. “I love you too, so so much,” he whispered. 

Tony ran his fingers across Thor’s smooth head, just as the Asgardian pressed a soft kiss to his. Everything would be okay.

Chapter Text

It was two months after the accident and it was still fresh on Bucky’s mind. He was sure it was something he would never forget. The smell of burning flesh, the sticky feel of blood staining his hands, the taste of metal as he bit through his tongue, and Tony’s screams that lit the air. Every night he is plagued by nightmares. 

The moments in the hospital after the crash were the scariest part. Tony had coded three times and everyone was sure he was a goner. But he pulled through. If Bucky wasn’t so detached to life he would have laughed. Tony had been in a coma for five weeks after and again the doctors were sure he wasn’t going to wake up- but he did. 

Those five weeks were some of the worst of his life. Not because of Tony, but because of Steve. While Tony slept away, Steve dove deep into a heavy depression. In some twisted Captain America way he blamed himself for the crash and Tony’s injuries. Every time he saw Tony’s braced and bandaged body in the hospital he had a panic attack. It was stressing Bucky out immensely as he tried to care for both Steve and Tony. Eventually Bruce had the idea of bringing Steve to a therapist.

Five weeks later, Steve finally was acting more like himself. He still blamed himself but he was able to get out of that dangerous depressive mindset he had dug himself into. He still got sad every time he saw Tony, but instead of distancing himself, he began to cling to Tony. He stayed in the man’s hospital room 24/7 and was scared Tony would get hurt if he left. 

Tony was eventually moved to a bigger private room so that both of them would be able to sleep over. For five weeks they lived in Tony’s hospital room, helping the nurses care for him. 

Tony was in a bad way even five weeks later. He had a ventilator helping him breathe because of the damage he sustained to his chest. He still hadn’t shown any sign of breathing on his own and the doctors were afraid the breathing aid would become permanent. Tony also had a large metal brace around his abdomen and neck because of his spinal fracture. They wouldn’t know until he woke up if he was paralyzed or not but Bucky prayed every day that wouldn’t be the case. Even if he wasn’t paralyzed he wouldn’t be walking for awhile because of the damage the car did to his leg. While the right one was okay, just severely bruised, his left one had taken the brunt of the crash and was broken in four places. 

While Tony slept, Bucky and Steve spent their time learning from the nurses on how to care for Tony. The supersoldiers watched as they replaced Tony’s IVs and feeding bag. They learned how to sponge bathe their boyfriend and how to exercise his limp body. By the fourth week, the nurses let them take over several of the tasks. 

They were in the middle of bathing Tony when his hand started twitching. Steve shouted for a nurse and showed her the movement, but she chalked it up to a ‘spasm’. Steve didn’t argue with her but deep in his heart he knew it was more than that. 

And he was proven right when Tony fully woke up three days later. 

“Use your words, baby,” Bucky said softly to a grunting Tony. Even two months after the horrific accident, Tony couldn’t speak very well. The doctors had told them he sustained brain damage, but it was hard for Bucky to believe his once brilliant genius was inside this slow-talking man. 

“No…..b-b-baaaath,” Tony slurred, glaring at the sponge in Bucky’s hand. 

“Yes bath. You need to be clean Tony,” Brucky sighed. Tony hated bath time because of how much it pained his body. His joints constantly hurt, and his spinal fracture sent horrible pain up and down his body constantly. This paired with his atrophied muscles was not a pleasant feeling and painkillers could only help so much. 

Steve came out of the bathroom with towels and they got to work. It was like a dance how they washed Tony’s body, having so much experience with it at this point. Steve lifted and held limbs while Bucky washed and vice versa. “It’s okay, baby,” Bucky hummed when Tony started to whimper as they moved closer to his back. 

It took awhile but they finally washed and dried Tony. “That wasn’t so bad was it, Tones?” Steve asked the man as he scooted a chair closer to his bedside. 

Tony couldn’t move his head because of the cervical collar around his neck but his eyes shifted to Steve’s direction. “B-b-bad. Baaad. B-bad,” Tony repeated. His finger twitched rapidly and Steve took it into his hands. He smoothed Tony’s hand to get it to relax, he saw Tony’s eyes drift shut from the soothing action. “S-stayy, stay,” Tony said. 

“Of course, Tones,” Bucky said from Tony’s other side. 

That night was horrible. 

Tony woke up, screaming from the pain in his back. It was simultaneously throbbing and shooting pain around his body. Along his spine was extremely sensitive and felt like a raw wound. “H-h-huu-hurtsssss...huuurts,” he cried. 

“I know, baby, I know,” Bucky said softly, holding Tony’s hand tightly. 

They couldn’t turn Tony onto his side because of the damage to his spine so he was forced to endure the painful pressure. The morphine didn’t seem to be helping at all and the pain was slowly getting worse. 

Tony coughed and sputtered from all his crying. “Deep breaths, baby, I know it hurts,” Bucky encouraged. Steve had stepped out of the room minutes ago, in the midst of a panic attack. He couldn’t handle seeing Tony in so much pain and not able to do anything about it. Bucky felt just as hopeless, even more so with his two loves suffering. But he had to choose, and he knew Tony needed his presence more. 

“Huuurtsss, pl-pleeeeeaase,” Tony sobbed. He gripped Bucky’s arm tight, which with his lack of muscles wasn’t more than a loose hold. Bucky jumped just in time to place a bucket under Tony's head as he started throwing up from the pain. When Tony finished, his cries started up again as his body shook and sweated. “S-Seeeevie?” Tony asked, looking up at Bucky with dull squinted eyes. 

Bucky fought for an answer but didn’t know what to say. Finally, he jumped up, storming out the room. Steve was sitting on the ground next to the door in a ball. Hot fury grew from Bucky and he reached down, snatching Steve’s shirt in his grasp. “Listen to me,” he growled. “Tony is in there facing unimaginable pain and the least you can do is be there at his side. So man up and get in there, now!” Steve wiped his tears and replaced it with a determined nod. 

They both went inside and sat on opposite sides of Tony’s bed. It was obvious he felt slightly better with both of his boys’ presence. “Seevie,” Tony smiled, though lopsided. 

“I’m here, Tones,” Steve smiled back, placing a hand on Tony’s arm. 

“We both are, doll,” Bucky added. 

Tony let his eyes closed in an effort to sleep off the pain. It would all be better in the morning with his boys by his side.

Chapter Text

Because of the arc reactor, Tony often had bad days. Days where he would be sleepier, would be slower, would have breathing issues- and they were horrible. Every time Steve woke up to Tony’s wheezing or coughing his heart was in his throat. But he learned to live with it because these days would come more often than not, especially as they started going on more missions. 

Today was a bad day, a really bad one. 

Steve woke to Tony’s wheezing and coughs that were so bad- Tony’s face was bright red. Steve quickly sat him up to see if the coughing would ease, but it didn’t. It wasn’t until the second round of the nebulizer Tony seemed to gain back a bit of air. He collapsed against Steve on the bed, who held him close. “Want to go back to sleep?” Steve asked Tony, hands running through his hair. 

Tony shook his head and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Steve nodded and they spent a few more moments just holding each other. When they were ready, Steve helped Tony to the edge of the bed and quickly ran over to help him stand. Tony’s limbs were shaking slightly but he was able to walk while leaning on Steve. He could tell by the wincing as the reactor moved and the thin breaths that the genius wouldn’t be walking for long. “Think you can eat, baby?” Steve asked softly to the genius who was looking down at the floor as if his head was too heavy. Tony shook his head and Steve sighed. On days like this, eating took up too much energy and breath for Tony to sacrifice, so he went without. 

“Let’s move to the couch then.” Steve noticed Tony’s breaths growing heavy again and knew he wouldn’t be able to walk much farther. He helped him lower to the couch and he picked up Tony’s legs so the man was laying down, supported by the armrest. “Take a rest, i’ll be back,” Steve said softly, moving a piece of hair from Tony’s forehead. 

Steve returned with a few cubes of ice. Tony’s chest hurt more when pressure was added to it, but ice would help numb it slightly. So Steve kneeled down next to his husband and pressed the ice cubs lightly around the arc reactor. Tony still winced and whimpered, but after about an hour, it was throbbing less. Tony had fallen asleep from the brief relief of pain so Steve let him sleep and walked over to where the Avengers were congregating quietly in the kitchen. 

“Reactor?” Natasha asked when Steve walked over. He sat on a bar chair and nodded. She poured him a cup of juice as Clint took the seat next to him. 

“Do you mind if I take a look?” Bruce asked, concerned. Steve nodded and put his head in his hands. He hated days like this. Days that reminded him how hard Tony’s life was and is. Days that reminded him Tony would forever suffer from pain in his desperation to survive. 

“The area around the arc is inflamed and his lungs sound tight,” Bruce said, walking back over to them. “He should do another nebulizer treatment when he wakes up.”

Steve sighed, but jumped when Tony started coughing again. He walked over to where Tony was fidgeting and whimpering. “Hurts, Stevie,” he wheezed. 

Steve grabbed his husband’s hand and sat on the edge of the couch. “I know, just breathe okay?” Tony nodded and tried to take more breaths, but his coughing was picking up. “Bruce, inhaler?” The scientist nodded and brought it over. 

Steve helped Tony sit up a bit further and placed the inhaler to the man’s lips. He held the back of Tony’s head and encouraged him to inhale as he released the medicine. They repeated it twice more and Tony’s wheezing seemed to diminish. “Sleep for a little bit and then we’ll do another nebulizer treatment,” Steve told him. 

Tony nodded and let his eyes close. Steve watched his breaths get slightly deeper, though a light wheeze still clung on to his inhales. 

It was only a few hours later when Tony was rushed to the hospital. Steve had returned to the living room to check on his husband when he saw Tony’s blue face, unable to get in any air. They called paramedics who quickly pried Tony’s airway open and stuck a tube down it. Tony coughed and sputtered, his arms flailing and eyes wide as he searched for Steve. It was only when his eyes connected with his husband’s baby blue ones did he calm down slightly. 

At the hospital, Tony was rushed to the ICU and sedated as they put him on a ventilator. And that was how he stayed for about a week.

When he woke, they had to call Steve because the billionaire was almost thrown into a panic attack. He tried to rip the tube out of his mouth with his weak arms and the feeling of the tube down his throat brought tears to his eyes. It wasn’t until Steve stood over him, restraining his hands and pressing kisses onto his face, that he stopped panicking. “Calm down, baby, you’re going to be just fine,” Steve said softly. Tony couldn’t talk or respond, but he pulled strength from Steve’s loving eyes and calmed his racing heart. 

Weaning off the ventilator was the worst part. It simultaneously felt like drowning and snorkeling. They tried to get him to breathe for himself so they turned the ventilator down. He would try to coax his lungs to move, to breathe, and just when he was sure that he was going to die from lack of air, the ventilator kicked in and gave him a breath. It was the most horrible feeling. But having the tube removed was way worse. 

“Come on Tones, calm down,” Steve coaxed. The doctors were trying to remove the ventilator from Tony’s lungs but the genius was panicking as they prepared to yank it out. “You got this, you’re going to be fine.”

Tony’s eyes were wide as he clung to Steve’s baby blue ones. He was off the sedatives so the feeling of the large tube shoved down his throat was spectacularly unpleasant. He choked and sputtered as his lungs tried to breathe against the machine, yet he feared it’s removal. 

“On the count of three I want you to cough, and then we’ll pull it out,” the doctor instructed. 

Nothing could prepare him for the medical professionals pulling the meter long tube from his body. He coughed, he cried, he wheezed. He thought he was going to die. It wasn’t until Steve grabbed his face and their eyes connected did he start to calm down. The first breath was hard, but the rest were easier because he had Steve to keep him from drowning.

Chapter Text

Steve frowned when Jarvis asked him to come down to the workshop. 

He was the only one left besides Tony in the tower- everyone else on various missions. Even so, he and Tony stayed in their own corners. He often trained or caught up on current movies while Tony holed himself downstairs. So when Jarvis asked him to come down to the workshop, he was very confused. 

The problem became obvious when he entered the workshop. It took him a second to find the genius because he wasn’t at any of the work tables. But when he located Tony, collapsed and leaning his body against a table, he ran over. “What happened?” He asked frantically. He didn’t see any injuries or blood. But something was obviously wrong. 

Tony was sitting in a ball, curled against his work table as if it was the only thing keeping him from falling. His head was hung and it bobbed for a second when Steve answered, but did not lift. “Can you...get Clint?” Tony slurred. 

“Sure, but what hap-” Steve’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“Please?” Tony asked softly. He was extremely pale and sweating profusely. 

Steve could tell something was really wrong with the genius, but decided to follow his wishes. “Jarvis, can you-”

“Already on it, Captain,” Jarvis said. “Can you go into the draw and grab the device inside?” A drawer suddenly opened on the other side of the lab. 

Steve jumped but nodded and walked over to it. As Jarvis said, there was a small device inside with a large screen and about three buttons. He brought it back to where Tony was slumped over. If possible, the genius seemed to look even smaller in his curled form. 

Jarvis then instructed him to prick Tony’s finger and put his blood on the device. Steve immediately protested but at Jarvis’ insistence, he complied. “The number 44 popped up,” he said, just as Clint burst into the workshop. 

His eyes widened and he ran over to his boyfriend. “Baby, no,” he whined, pulling Tony into his arms. “Keep your eyes open, Tones. Let me see, good,” he encouraged, lifting Tony’s chin. He looked to Steve. “Can you run upstairs and get a chocolate bar and a glass of orange juice?” Steve nodded and took off upstairs. 

“Missed you,” Tony slurred, his head dropping again. 

Clint held onto Tony’s shaking hands and kissed them. “All this so I would leave my meeting with Fury and piss him off?” Clint joked. He could tell Tony’s levels were dropping fast by his silence. “Baby, you can’t keep doing this,” he sighed, suddenly serious. “You have to eat and watch your levels. You can’t keep scaring me like this.”

“S’rry,” Tony whimpered. 

Clint hugged him tighter and pressed a kiss into his hair. “No, baby. Eyes open. Please, Tones, look at me,” he pleaded when he saw Tony being pulled into the darkness. He huffed in relief when Tony’s eyes fluttered. Steve suddenly burst through the door. 

Steve dropped about 10 chocolate bars in front of them and a jug of orange juice. “This is all I could find.”

Clint wasted no time in ripping open a bar. He cut off a small piece of chocolate and placed it in Tony’s mouth. When the genius didn’t move, simply drooping even further, Clint lifted Tony’s head and moved his jaw up and down to chew. “It’s okay, baby, you’re okay,” Clint soothed when Tony whimpered.

He kept up the chewing motions until the chocolate was small enough to swallow. Clint gestured to Steve, who poured him a glass of the orange juice. 

Clint shifted Tony so that his head was leaning back onto his shoulder and poured in a bit of orange juice. He quickly started massaging Tony’s throat to encourage him to swallow the food and drink. They repeated this process three more times before Tony started showing signs of gaining energy. 

The genius’ eyes stayed closed but he started chewing on his own. He reached to hold the glass, but Clint still held on since Tony’s hands shook badly. “How do you feel, Tones?” 

“Tired,” He muttered, snuggling into Clint. 

“Then let’s get you to bed Tones,” Clint said, snuggling him back. His heart was finally slowing down now that Tony was on the mend. 

He wanted to have a long talk with Tony about neglecting his help, but as he held his sickly boyfriend in his arms, he just wanted to cuddle him and kiss his worries away.

Chapter Text

Clint loved wrestling, especially with so many super soldiers in the house. He loved attacking people from behind and catching them off-guard. 

So when the team were settled in the den and heard a shout from Clint and a grunt from Tony down the hall, they knew the genius must be the archer’s next victim. 

They quieted the movie they were watching to listen and make bets on the winner. There was a lot of scuffle heard, but after a large ‘Ooooof’, they heard Clint shouting in happiness. “Damn it babe!” Steve shouted, handing Natasha a $20. 

Just as they went to turn the movie back on, they heard Clint’s confused voice. “Tony? Tony?” Immediately, Steve experienced a hot flash as a horrible feeling came over him and he dove off the couch, running down the hall to Clint’s location. 

He froze in the doorway of the room and watched Clint slide off of Tony, who was faced down on the floor. Tony didn’t move. “Tony?” Clint asked again. It was then he heard it- a choked gasp. And another. 

Steve’s eyes widened and he dove over to Tony’s limp body. He quickly turned his boyfriend over like a limp rag doll. He almost fainted as Tony’s blue face and blood-shot eyes stared back at him. 

“Tony?” Bruce said, from where he appeared next to Steve. Tony’s response was another weak gasp. “He can’t breathe.”

Steve’s mind was swirling as fear froze through his body like ice. Bruce ripped open Tony’s shirt to examine the arc reactor. “He was face down,” Steve supplied, his voice detached. 

Bruce nodded and tried to catch Tony’s frantic eyes. “Look at me Tony, you need to take some deep breaths.” Tony responded with another gasp. He looked like a fish out of water and Steve could not tear his gaze from Tony’s almost still chest. Tony’s fingers reached up to scratch at the device in desperation and Steve held them back. “Come on Tony, you can do it, breathe in.” This time a tight wheeze lit up the air. “Sit him up,” Bruce said to Steve. 

Steve nodded and moved towards Tony’s head. He lifted the man up and braced him against his chest. Tony wheezed again, and this time a small bit of air whistled through. “Good job, Tones, another one,” he encouraged. His heart was slowly relaxing from its tense state when he saw Tony’s face start to lose it’s blue tinge. 

Tony took a few more breaths but they still seemed to be taken through a thin straw. “Tony, i’m going to have to take out the arc reactor for a second,” Bruce said. 

Steve took Tony’s hands in his as they fidgeted in protest. “Calm down, breathe, baby,” he said. When Tony went limp again, he ran his fingers through his husband’s hair to distract him as Bruce examined the reactor. Tony had his eyes clenched shut as he continued to wheeze.

Tony grew tense as Bruce’s fingers touched the device. “I’m right here, Tones,” Steve said firmly. He could see the anguish in Tony’s eyes as flashbacks fought to drag him under. 

Immediately as Bruce twisted the device out, Tony’s breaths started to get deeper as his lungs used the extra room to expand. His diaphragm unclenched and his breaths started to come easier. “That’s it, baby, you’re doing great,” Steve smiled. 

Just then, Clint and Natasha arrived with a nebulizer. Clint put it around Tony’s face as Natasha turned it on and the loud machine’s stream of air filled the room. Small tears dripped down Tony’s face as he was reunited with air again. 

It wasn’t long before Bruce had to replace the reactor into the genius’ chest. Tony coughed at the pain but his breaths remained steadier. His eyes drooped as the fear of dying drained out of him. 

Steve pulled Tony closer to him and lifted the man up bridal style. Tony’s hands remained limp in his own lap and his head lolled on Steve’s chest. Clint ran ahead to get the couch set up and Bruce picked up the nebulizer, making sure the mask was still secure on Tony’s face. 

Steve carried Tony to the living room, paying careful attention to his boyfriend’s steady breaths. When he lowered Tony onto the couch, Clint kneeled next to the genius, taking on of his hands. “I’m so sorry, Tony,” Clint said guiltily. 

Tony pulled the mask to his chin. “It’s okay, birdbrain,” he rasped. 

“Are we still friends?” Clint pouted. 

“Best friends,” Tony smiled lopsidedly. 

Steve waited until Clint was settled on the head of the couch before taking his spot in kneeling next to Tony. “How do you feel, baby?” He ran his fingers through Tony’s hair.

“M’ okay, just sore.” Tony ran a lazy hand over the arc. Even Steve could see it was red around the edges from where Tony’s bodyweight had pushed the machine in uncomfortably. 

Bruce helped Tony swallow some pain pills while Natasha fluffed up his pillows. “Get some rest, baby. It’ll feel better in the morning,” Steve smiled. 

Tony let out a snuffle and melted into the cushions.

Chapter Text

Clint dropped the bananas he was holding when he heard Bear’s barking from across the store. He ran down every aisle, following the series of barks until he ended up in the technology aisle (of course) to see his husband collapsed on the floor. 

Like usual, he situated Tony on his side and helped Bear in moving some of the objects around them that must have fell when Tony fainted. After that, he sat down by Tony’s legs and lifted them up so that the blood flow would return to Tony’s head. Bear took his usual spot cuddled into Tony’s arm, waiting for a sign of consciousness. 

It seemed to be one of his shorter episodes because after a minute, Tony’s arm was twitching. His eyes stayed closed but he curled further into Bear and buried his fingers into the dog’s thick fur. 

“Baby? Tones?” Clint called softly.

Tony groaned, but remained still. 

Clint started talking, hoping to help Tony attach himself to reality. After another five minutes, his husband’s eyes opened halfway. Clint lowered his feet and moved next Bear. 

He leaned his head close to Tony’s and placed a kiss on his forehead. “How are you feeling?” Clint whispered. 

“Ngghh,” Tony groaned and Clint laughed. 

“Not good i’m guessing?” Clint ran his fingers through Tony’s locks. “Want to go home?” 

Tony hummed and twitched his arms and legs, checking if they were awake. Bear moved out of the way and Clint helped Tony up. He held Tony around the waist but pulled him close as the genius swayed. He pulled Tony’s head onto his shoulder and held onto him while he tried to gain his bearings. Bear danced around their legs, whimpering happily when Tony grabbed his fur for support. 

It was another minute before Tony pulled away, his vision somewhat back to normal. Clint helped him to the car on unsteady legs and Bear climbed onto Tony’s lap for the ride home. 

_______________________

Of course, they were walking down the stairs when Tony’s heart wanted to act up. On the fifth step down, Tony froze, grabbing his chest in distress. He started to breathe heavy and Bear’s barking suddenly lit up the tower. 

Clint ran in the direction of the barking. “Tones? Tony, sit down. Tony, sit-” He reached his husband just in time, sliding under the man as he fainted backwards. He slid down the stairs with Tony in his arms, the man quiet the whole way down. 

Bruce and Steve, who had come running at the barking as well, quickly took in the scene and ran over to help. “What happened?” Bruce asked, entering doctor mode. 

“He’s okay, just another episode,” Clint informed them. 

Bruce grabbed Tony’s limp wrist to check his pulse. “Really? That’s the third one today.”

“I know, I told him to take it easy but he won’t listen to me,” Clint said. 

Bruce finished checking Tony for injuries and gestured to Steve. Steve picked up the genius bridal style and carefully carried him to the couch. 

“Are you hurt?” Bruce asked the archer. 

“No, I'm good,” Clint huffed, standing. His back hurt slightly from the slide, but it was nothing a bit of ice couldn’t fix. 

The scientist and the archer watched Bear run over to where Tony lay on the couch. The large service dog stood and laid his head onto Tony’s chest, nuzzling the genius’ hand. 

“I’m putting him on bed rest,” Bruce said to Clint. 

They heard Tony groan from the couch. 

_______________________

Clint was out taking Bear to get groomed, so Nat decided to have a pool day to teach Tony how to swim. The other Avengers were there too- playing games or lounging under the sun. Tony was extremely anxious about the pool since the waterboarding he endured several years ago, but he decided he wanted to learn to swim to make himself less fearful of drowning. 

An hour into the lesson, Nat noticed Tony acting weird. He was breathing heavy and his face tinged a bit green. His body started moving slower, almost like a machine about to crash. She didn’t know what to do, but luckily Rhodey, his long-time friend, had noticed from where he was chatting to Sam on the poolside. 

“Tones, are you okay?” Rhodey said loud and firmly. 

The billionaire slowly turned to Rhodey’s direction, closing his eyes as he shook his head. Just as Tony's body started sinking down into the water, Rhodey rushed over. Nat swam over to the genius and held him up under his arms. “Tony, Antoshka,” Nat called, hitting Tony in the face. 

“Don’t do that,” Rhodey said, “Bring him over here.” 

Nat dragged a now unresponsive Tony through the water to the edge of the pool. Once she reached it, Rhodey and Steve grabbed Tony and pulled him up out of the water. 

They laid him on a towel and Rhodey rolled him onto his side. Steve lifted the genius’ legs up while Rhodey checked his pulse. Nat quickly jumped out the pool and went to call Clint. 

It was almost three minutes before Tony’s eyes opened. “Platypus?” Tony mumbled, squinting. 

“Yes, Mr. Stank?” Rhodey smirked. 

Tony let out a lazy giggle and rolled onto his back. His friend helped him take a few sips of water. A few minutes later when the two men were helping him up, a dog came rushing past him before diving into the pool. His husband came a few seconds after, hugging him from behind and planting kisses on his neck. “You okay, baby?” Clint said softly. 

Tony nodded, smiling, before suddenly pushing Clint into the pool. 

The archer went in with a big splash, soaking them all. Just as Clint tried to climb out to grab Tony, Bear tackled the archer from behind. Tony laughed as Clint shouted at Bear, who simply licked his face.

Chapter Text

Tony and Natasha had been sent on a seemingly seemingly simple mission to examine an underground evacuated Hydra base. While the base was small and obviously abandoned, Hydra had left one last trap for any nosy visitors. Only minutes after they entered the base, the whole thing collapsed in on itself. 

Through the dust, Tony saw Natasha fall to the ground and he quickly grabbed her and protected her with the suit. For long minutes, beams and rocks came falling down, trapping them. When the dust cleared and the rocks settled, Tony examined the area, realizing they were trapped in a small air pocket. 

Natasha hadn’t moved under him and he had Jarvis confirm it was safe before laying her down in the cramped space. Her head was bleeding but she seemed to have no other injuries. Jarvis instructed Tony on how to care for her using the suit’s small amount of medical supplies. After his teammate was settled, he worked on trying to contact Shield for help. 

It was hours later when Natasha finally came to, though far from coherent. Tony had only a small amount of water from the suit’s reserves but he helped her drink as much as she wanted as she swayed dizzily against his shoulder. “Where’we?” She slurred, trying to focus her blurred eyes on their dark surrounding. 

“How do you feel?” He asked, deflecting. 

“Cold,” she huffed. Tony examined the slowly healing cut that blended with her red hair, but pulled back as she flinched. 

Tony checked the suit's energy levels- 75%. It would be enough to turn on the heater for a few hours. He retracted the suit before commanding it to wrap around Natasha. He heard her sigh gratefully as the heat warmed her body. 

Four hours later, he was forced to disappoint her as the suit's energy dropped too low. While the heater was running, the suit was also sending out help signals and Jarvis was constantly scanning for a way out. Then three hours after that, Tony was forced to turn off the suit in total to save energy. He kept the arc reactor on for light, though. “Tony?” Natasha rasped, still in a daze from her injury. 

“Yeah, Nat?” Tony responded, running fingers through her hair. 

“Where’we?” 

“Just go back to sleep, okay?” Tony deflected. 

Luckily, the spy followed his advice. He decided to follow suit. 

Tony didn’t know how much time had passed, just that his stomach was growling loudly. There was no sunlight to indicate if it had been hours, days, or weeks since they’d been buried. Tony’s stomach was used to going without food for several days, so it had to have been a fairly long time since they’d been stuck there. 

Tony checked the suit and found an emergency supply of food inside- two issues though. It was a feeding tube attached to liquid nutrients. And it was for only one person. Tony didn’t hesitate to grab the tube and start feeding it through Natasha’s nose. He knew she would fight him if she was actually coherent, but he would never let her win that argument. He watched the food go through her body almost hungrily, but settled back to comforting the red-haired agent while she slept and hoped someone was close to finding them. 

Five days later they were still trapped. Luckily, Natasha seemed to be healing without any problems using Jarvis’ medical guidance, but they still did not seem to be any closer to getting out. No one had made contact and Jarvis came up empty on how to get themselves out without being crushed completely. For Tony, this was not an option anymore anyway.

Around a week without food and less than a glass of water had hurt his body horribly. He had lost several pounds of weight and his body was obviously starting to shut down. He constantly trembled and very often he would have random moments where he blacked out. He held it together long enough until Jarvis told him Natasha was out of the clear. After that, he let himself be pulled into the darkness. 

He woke to Natasha shaking his shoulder. “Tony, please wake up,” she pleaded.

His eyes flickered open and he realized they were still trapped underground. He licked his cracked lips and tried to focus his blurred vision on Natasha. 

“-ony, Tony, can you hear me?” She repeated. 

Tony hummed, trying to fight the need to let his eyes close again. 

“Tony, what happened, where are we?” Natasha asked. 

“Hydra base...collapsed,” Tony slurred. 

Before Natasha could ask another question, Tony cried out, whimpering as another hunger cramp ripped through his stomach. There was nothing in it, but still Tony was forced to fight his body’s need to gag. 

“What’s happening?” Nat asked, concerned. Hands hovering over him.

Tony shook his head, trying to breathe as he rode out the cramp. 

“How long have we been here?” She asked. 

Tony frowned. He had no idea how long he’d been asleep for- could have been hours, days, weeks. His stomach certainly felt like it. “I dunno, more than a week,” he decided. 

“A week ?” Natasha screeched. “Why don’t I remember that? And how would we survive without food and water?” 

“Hit your head,” Tony said, eyes losing their battle. “Tube.”

Natasha frowned, but that’s when she focused on the tickling in her nose. She reached her hands up and slowly pulled out the tube. It was with a practiced ease she didn’t cough or gag. When she finished, she held up the tube in question. 

“Food,” Tony slurred, eyes completely closed. 

“Well what about you?” She asked. 

Tony was silent as his body was pulled into unconsciousness.

Though it was dark, she forced herself to take a closer look at the genius. She almost threw up in guilt when she took in his emaciated frame, sweaty body and cracked lips. She put two and two together and realized he must have given her the only food source they had. 

Before she had pulled off the suit upon awakening, she had seen on the HUD that the resources were completely drained. She looked around their small cave but found nothing that even remotely resembled food, even so, she was considering making Tony eat a rock if it would cause him to not look like he was on death’s door. All she could do was pull Tony close and hope someone would find them. 

Two days later, she became extremely worried when his heart seemed to slow dangerously. She was constantly monitoring his pulse, knowing his heart condition mixed with starvation wasn’t good. Over the last day, his pulse had been unsteady- randomly slowly down then starting up rapidly. The only good news was that she heard what sounded like rocks moving from above them, so she was praying she could get Tony some help soon. 

Tony cried out during his sleep and she could physically see his stomach muscles clenching painfully. He whimpered as his abdomen squeezed, sending out signals in its hunger. “Nat it hurts,” he cried softly. 

Natasha fought tears at not being able to soothe his pain. “I know, Antoshka. Just breathe.” She lowered Tony down so that his head was in her lap and started massaging his belly. It frightened her how bony his body was and his stomach literally felt like an empty pit. She tried to calm the muscles down and after several minutes, Tony grew quiet as his body relaxed. 

She waited until his breaths calmed and his pulse stopped its racing before she let herself calm down. She never felt more guilty in her life than right now. Her best friend, her brother, was dying because he let her consume all the food so she could live. If she would have been coherent, she was sure this whole thing would be reversed.

Fortunately, another day and a half later, they were rescued. The Avengers and a Shield rescue team had spent days digging them out, trying not to crush them in the process. 

Steve cried as the rescue team pulled out Tony. He almost didn’t recognize the small, bony man that they placed on the gurney. Tony’s eyes opened slightly, but he whimpered and squeezed them shut at the light. “It’s me baby, I missed you so much,” Steve cried, taking Tony’s thin hand. 

“S’evie,” Tony slurred through cracked lips. 

“You did so good baby, I love you so much,” Steve sobbed, peppering kisses onto his husband’s forehead. 

“Nat?” he croaked. 

“She’s fine. You saved her. She’s gonna be fine,” Steve smiled. 

Tony smiled gratefully. “Love you too.”

Chapter Text

Like every morning, Steve woke up to intense coughing. Like loud, down-to-the-lungs coughing. And like every morning, he pulled his husband closer to himself, elevating Tony’s head onto his chest. He ran his fingers through the genius’ black locks waiting for the coughing to die down.

When it didn’t, Steve wrestled himself from sleep and sat up, pulling Tony with him. He rubbed the genius’ back as the man coughed out the mucus in his lungs. When Tony stopped suddenly, Steve grabbed a cup and held it up to Tony's mouth and helped the man spit up all the phlegm that was collected through the coughing.

Tony finally slumped against Steve, and the supersoldier cradled him in his arms. “I don’t feel good, Stevie,” Tony whispered, his voice incredibly raspy.

Steve felt Tony’s forehead. “You are a bit warm, how about you rest some more?”

On cue, Bruce knocked and walked in with Tony’s pills and water. “Good morning.”

“Bruce, Tony has a bit of a fever,” Steve informed him.

Bruce’s eyes widened and he immediately entered doctor-mode. He felt Tony’s forehead and took his vitals. “It doesn’t seem too bad, but i’ll check on you later to see if you’re still feeling poorly.” Tony nodded and Bruce left.

Steve could see Tony’s eyes falling, so he shifted them so that Tony was on his lap and he was pressed against the headboard, propped up by pillows. He reclined his husband so that he was laying against his chest, though still sitting up in case he had to cough. Steve reached out and flicked the nebulizer on before holding it to Tony’s mouth. “Rest, baby, i’m right here,” Steve said softly.

It only took seconds for Tony to fall back to sleep, which was only testament to how sickly he felt. Steve turned off the nebulizer when it was finished and turned on the television with the volume low.

About two hours later, Tony’s eyes blinked open. “There’s sleeping beauty. How do you feel?” Steve smiled.

“Better,” Tony croaked.

Steve moved a piece of hair from Tony’s face. “That’s good, baby. You hungry?”

Tony nodded, yawning.

“Okay, I think Bruce was making some soup today, lets go get some before Clint eats it all,” Steve smirked. Tony’s lips turned up into a ghost of a smile, but the dark bags under his eyes contradicted the expression.

Steve and Tony got ready for the day in the bathroom. Both of them shared a nice long hot shower, the steam helping open Tony’s chest up. But by the time they were putting on their clothes, Steve could tell Tony was drained.

He dragged a tired Tony to the common area, where everyone was hanging around. As soon as Bruce saw them making their way over he poured some soup into bowls for Tony and Steve. “How are you feeling, Tones?” Bruce asked.

Tony really hated that question. He shrugged.

Steve helped him sit on the bar stool at the kitchen island. Tony immediately put his head down on the cool marble.

Steve rubbed his husband’s back. “You have to eat, baby,” he said softly.

Tony groaned, picking up his head and rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes. Even though his stomach wanted food earlier, now that he was confronted with it, he was getting nauseous from the smell. Even so, Tony opened his mouth as Steve held up a spoonful of soup to his lips.

Tony swallowed it and tried not to grimace. “See, wasn’t so bad?” Steve smiled. His phone rang and he frowned at the caller ID that read ‘Fury’. “I gotta take this, you finish that soup babe,” Steve called, walking out.

Tony groaned, forcing himself to consume another three spoonfuls. He listened to the others converse in the living room before suddenly he felt his stomach gurgle. It was only seconds before the soup ended up all over his shirt.

Bruce ran over when he heard the distinct signs of retching. By the time he reached Tony, the man’s lap was drenched in soup and it was pouring down the front of his shirt. The man’s stomach kept seizing, forcing out more of the food he had consumed.

Clint grabbed paper towels while Natasha forced a throw up bag under Tony’s chin.

Bruce rubbed Tony’s back and held him from face-planting onto the kitchen island. “Let it all out, Tones, don’t fight it,” Bruce said softly. Tony gagged for several minutes, despite all of the soup having been ejected.

Tears forced themselves out of the genius’ eyes as the vomiting triggered coughing. His body couldn’t decide what it wanted to do so for several minutes he alternated coughing and gagging.

When Tony’s face was going red from the lack of oxygen, Bruce and Clint lowered Tony from the stool and guided him to the couch. The sickly man was shaking and coughing up a storm.

Steve came rushing back into the room at the sounds. He took in the scene quickly and took out Tony’s inhaler from his pocket. He kneeled in front of his husband and pressed the device to his lips. Tony, with an air of familiarity, took in a breath just as Steve dispensed the medicine. Another two puffs and Tony’s coughing had slowed. Steve looked over at the anxiety-ridden team. “What happened?”

“He threw up the soup which triggered a coughing episode,” Bruce explained, running anxious fingers through his hair.

Steve sighed and looked back at Tony, who was regaining his strength with his eyes closed. He ran gentle fingers up the man’s arm. “How do you feel, baby?” He asked softly.

“M’ okay,” Tony sighed, entwining their fingers.

Steve smiled and pressed a kiss to Tony’s slightly warm forehead. He then gestured to Bruce, who nodded and left.

Bruce returned a minute later with an IV stand, tube, and a clear bag filled with brown liquid. Tony groaned dramatically upon noticing it. “Please?” he whined.

Steve gave him a look and Tony sighed in acceptance. The genius pulled up his shirt slightly to expose the stoma which was implanted in his stomach. Bruce set up the stand and connected Tony’s G-tube, starting up the flow of liquid food. Tony shivered, almost feeling the food entering his body.

Steve lifted Tony’s chin from where the man was staring at the tube with disdain. “How about you get some rest so we can go to the park later?” Steve said.

Tony sighed, but nodded. Steve and Bruce helped him get more comfortable on the couch while Natasha, who had retrieved a new shirt for Tony, helped him replace the vomit-stained one. It was not long before Tony was sleeping peacefully.

Hours later, Tony still felt bad, so they did not end up going to the park. The billionaire insisted they go, but Steve refused. Tony’s immune system was shot because of his illness and being exposed to outside germs when he already wasn’t feeling too great could be disastrous. He had already been to the hospital with pneumonia twice this month. Instead, they decided to lay in bed and rewatch the Harry Potter series.

They got halfway through the third movie before Steve had to pause it to check on Tony. He was used to ignoring Tony’s coughing because it happened so often, but he sounded extra congested today. It was still another two hours or so before vest therapy, so Steve called Bruce in for help.

By the time Bruce got to their room, Steve was holding Tony against his chest while the man racked with non stop coughing. “Get it out baby, good job,” Steve soothed. Tony hated coughing very much- he said it made it feel like the arc reactor was going to pop out. Tears were shining in Tony’s eyes as his lungs seized. Steve couldn’t do much besides hold a cup under his chin as he coughed up mucus.

“I can hear the congestion from here,” Bruce said as he walked in the room. “Lets start on your side today, Tones.”

Tony groaned as Steve moved him to the middle of the bed and onto his side. Completely drained, he couldn’t do anything but lay limply as Bruce beat on the side of his chest to loosen the mucus. Steve laid next to him so they were eye-to-eye and held the mucus cup under his chin.

Bruce pounded at different spots on Tony’s back and side while he coughed. He was trying to be gentle, as not to hurt the genius, but also hard enough that the pounding shook the mucus from the walls of Tony’s lungs. “Can you roll him over, Steve?” Bruce asked.

Steve nodded and helped Tony roll onto his back. Bruce started pounding on the man’s chest. Tony whimpered as Bruce pounded on the sensitive area near the reactor- unfortunately, that’s where most of the mucus buildup was.

“I’m sorry, Tones,” Bruce said guiltily.

“S’okay,” Tony whispered, bracing himself.

Steve hauled Tony up as he started choking on mucus. The genius coughed violently, spitting into the cup. After a few minutes though, he was able to breathe better. “Thanks Brucie,” Tony said.

Bruce nodded. He handed Tony several pills before he left. About an hour later, Steve loosened himself from his husband’s hold and started plugging in Tony’s percussion vest. Tony, distracted by the movie, cooperated while Steve put the jacket on him and tightened the straps. The supersoldier turned the machine on, before handing Tony his nebulizer and snuggling in next to his husband again.

The vibration of the vest as it shook against Tony, shaking the mucus from his body, was soothing to Steve; as was the cool mist from the nebulizer. Steve turned up the volume over the machines and gave Tony a loving kiss, holding the man as close as the vest would allow.

Chapter Text

Bruce woke up to banging. He woke further to realize the bed was shaking violently and loud grunting filled the room. He jumped awake to find Tony in the midst of a nightmare. “Tones, wake up, come on baby,” Bruce pleaded, shaking the genius. 

He fought to pull Tony’s body away from the headboard, where his head was throwing itself back and smashing against the wood. Tony’s arms fought against him, curling and throwing themselves unnaturally. “Jarvis, lights!” 

Light filled the room and that was when he noticed the blood covering Tony’s pillow and the headboard. “Shit, Jarvis, get Steve. Get someone, please,” Bruce said frantically.

“B-b-bruss?” Tony slurred, his eyes opening. 

“It’s okay baby, i’m here, i’m here,” Bruce said, still fighting to control Tony’s violent movements. 

“Wha’ happen?” Tony grunted. Looking at Tony’s face, Bruce noticed the bruises that were starting to form, indicating the man’s tics had him punching himself. His eye was turning blue and his cheek had a large red bruise that was quickly dulling.

“You had a nightmare, baby,” Bruce explained. He finally got himself behind Tony and was trying to restrain the genius. 

“Oh. Shitty, shitty, shit, shit!” Tony shouted involuntarily. “Language capsicle! Language! Language!” His fist broke out of Bruce’s hold and punched his face again. “Owie owie owie!”

Bruce grabbed the billionaire’s arm and hugged it to Tony’s chest. “Try to relax, baby, you’re okay.”

“Fuck you, fuck me. That’s what she said,” Tony shouted. “Language, Stark!” Suddenly, Tony threw his head back, smashing into Bruce’s face. “I’m sorry, Bruce. I’m so sorry!” Tony cried. 

Bruce fought to not shout out in pain. Luckily, several members of the team showed up at their door. “What’s happening?” Steve asked, eyes wide.

“Tic Attack,” Bruce informed, feeling a bit of blood run from his nose.

Steve approached the bed, hovering unsurely. “What should we do?”

“His head is bleeding, can someone get a towel and a med kit?” Bruce grunted.

Natasha nodded and ran off in search of the requested items. 

“Bruce, your nose is bleeding,” Clint pointed out. 

Bruce sighed. “Yes, it’s not broken, it’s just a nosebleed.” Bruce tilted his head as Tony’s head jerked back again. 

“Sorry, asshole. You’re an asshole, Stark,” Tony ranted uncontrollably. 

“It’s okay, baby, just try to relax,” Bruce said softly. “I’m right here, okay?” Tony’s fist broke free from Bruce’s grasps again and he started punching himself. “Steve!” 

Steve jumped and restrained Tony’s hands. When his legs kicked out, Bruce wrapped his own around Tony’s, pinning him down. Still, the billionaire’s body shook. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he shouted. “B-b-b-bruce,” Tony strained. 

“You gotta stop hurting yourself, baby,” Bruce said worriedly. 

“Tryna,” Tony slurred as his body jerked. 

“I know you are, I know,” the scientist sighed. Luckily, Natasha burst into the room with a towel and the med kit. “I’m gonna lay you down, okay Tones?” 

“I wanna get laid, f-f-fuck,” Tony shouted. 

Steve helped lower Tony onto the bed from his sitting position and Bruce moved from behind him. As soon as they let go of Tony’s arms, they started beating against his chest. Clint moved forward from where he was staring in shock to help pull Tony's hands away. 

When Bruce was free, he grabbed the med kit and started taking out supplies. As soon as he neared Tony with the antiseptic, the genius smacked it out of his hands. “S-s-sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Bruce said. He walked across the room and picked up the bottle. When he returned, he moved out of the way just in time for Tony to try to smack the bottle out of his hands again. “Can you guys restrain him, please?”

Steve and Clint looked conflicted. “I feel bad about pinning him down,” Steve admitted. 

Bruce sighed. “I know, but he’s hurting himself and I need to bandage the cut on his head. Please just hold him for a minute.” He was already emotionally exhausted and the day hadn’t even started. But luckily, the men followed his instructions. 

It took Bruce multiple tries to clean and examine the cut on the back of Tony’s head since the genius’ tics had him throwing his head out of reach every time the scientist got near. After almost 10 minutes though, Bruce was able to clean and bandage the cut on Tony’s head. When he finished, the two men let Tony loose. 

Now free, the billionaire’s body shook and twisted. His hands trembled, curling as far as possible, and his mouth made continuous clicking noises. His head was thrown back, thankfully on a soft pillow, and his legs kicked out not unlike a seizure. 

Bruce sighed, staring at Tony sadly. He then remembered the others in the room. “Do you guys mind leaving? I’m sure Tony would appreciate not being stared at like a zoo animal.” He didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly, but he was too burnt out to sugar coat anything. 

Luckily, the group nodded and exited the room. “Let us know if you need anything,” Steve said as he walked out. 

Bruce nodded and turned back to Tony on the bed. He ran over when he saw Tony violently scratching at his arm. “Tones,” he sighed, grabbing the billionaire's arms. 

“Sorry Mr.Potato head,” Tony said in a british accent. 

Bruce frowned, rolling his eyes. “If I let you go, will you try not to scratch yourself?” 

“S-sh-sh-shit, fuckity fuck,” Tony shouted before nodding. “I’ll try.”

Bruce let go slowly and nodded approvingly when Tony’s arms fidgeted, but did not scratch. He took the reprieve to run over to the closet and pull out a bin of Tony’s tourette’s supplies. He was able to get a padded helmet over Tony’s head after a few tries, and that alone allowed him to take a breath. 

He dug out wrist braces and strapped them onto Tony. During his tic attacks, his wrists would curl inward, making his hands useless the next day due to pain. The wrist braces acted as splints. On top of them, he put mittens on Tony’s hands in case he scratched. “How’s that baby?” Bruce asked. 

“Thank-thank-thank you Brucie,” Tony said, smiling lopsidedly with his eye twitching frantically. 

It was about an hour before Tony’s tic attack had calmed down. He laid panting in the bed, spooned by Bruce. His mitten continued to rub against his chest and his eye twitched every so often, but he was quiet in Bruce’s arms, letting the man hold him.

Chapter Text

Clint was teaching Steve how to play a video game in the common room when Jarvis’ voice rang through the ceiling.

“If I may, would you mind assisting sir in the workshop?” Jarvis asked. Steve wasn’t sure if robots could be anxious, but that’s exactly how the AI had sounded. 

“Is Tony asking for us?” Steve asked, standing. 

“No, but…” Jarvis paused worryingly. “If you could down and assist sir.” He asked again. 

“We don’t have access codes to go down to the workshop,” Clint pointed out. 

Steve frowned at the concern in Jarvis’ voice. “I think we should go see what’s going on,” he said. Clint paused the game and the two wearily made their way to the elevator. 

“Tony?” Steve asked as the doors to the workshop opened as they approached. 

The billionaire turned around swiftly from where he was bent over a table holding a sharp tool. “Jarvis,” he grunted angrily. “You went against my orders!”

“Yes, but sir-”

“No.” Tony pointed at the confused pair by the door. “You two, out. Leave.”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Clint asked. 

“It seems sir is having-”

“Mute!” Tony shouted, glaring at the ceiling. “Nothing is happening, please leave.”

It was then Clint noticed Tony’s twitching eye. Everything connected. “Are you having a tic thingy?” he asked. 

“Tic attack and no,” Tony grunted, turning away from them. Even turned around they noticed his neck being thrown back and his arm twitching oddly. 

Steve’s eyes narrowed. “You shouldn’t be operating any machinery if your Tourette’s is acting up.”

“I’m just fixing the suit. I can do it in my sleep,” Tony scoffed. 

“Well then maybe I should call Bruce,” Clint hummed. 

Tony jerked around, eyes wide. “No! Don’t call Bruce, he’s on that science trip he’s been looking forward to for months.”

“Yeah, but-”

“I said, no!” Tony shouted. “I’ll be fine. I’m not having a tic attack.”

Two were silent, staring as Tony continued to work. They watched a few seconds later as the tool Tony was holding was thrown across the room. “Fuck!” The genius shouted. 

Steve sighed. “I won’t say language because I know your Tourette’s…”

“No, that was all me,” Tony rolled his eyes. Clint giggled. 

Tony’s head was thrown back and it repeated like a broken record. Steve ran over when the man’s leg kicked out, knocking him off of the stool he was sitting on. The supersoldier caught him just in time and lowered him to the ground, away from any hard objects. 

By the time the two noticed Tony’s tics had been scratching his arm, it was already bleeding from many tiny cuts. “Fuck, Bruce is going to kill us,” Clint huffed.

“Language,” Steve said instinctively. 

“Get out the ice or you’re going to turn into a Capsical,” Tony giggled. Clint held in a laugh as Steve glared. “Sorry,” Tony said. 

“It’s fine,” Steve said, rolling his eyes. 

“Got no strings on me,” Tony shouted several times. Steve slid his body behind Tony’s and hugged him from behind. Clint already had Tony’s hands in his possession, but Steve held on loosely in case he had to restrain Tony like he had seen Bruce doing in the past. 

“How long do these last?” Clint grunted as Tony’s tics fought to be released. 

“I have no i-i-idea,” Tony slurred. “You dumbass sack of shit!”

“You’re gonna hurt my feelings, Tones,” Clint said, fake sniffling. 

Tony’s feet kicked out frantically and his eye resumed its consistent twitching. “Shut up, birdbrain.” Several bird noises followed. “Can you g-g-g-g-et mittens,” Tony forced out, gesturing to the cabinets.

Clint nodded and went through all the cabinets until he opened the one with a box with Bruce’s handwriting that said ‘Tourette’s Things’. Clint opened it up and pulled out the pair of thick mittens he had seen Tony wear. 

After he put on the mittens and Steve released Tony’s arms, they resumed their scratching but luckily this time it was harmless. “You see the n-n-neck thing? Tony asked, his head swinging back.

Clint looked into the box and pulled out a soft neck collar. He placed it on Tony with Steve’s help and noticed how less violent Tony’s head twitching looked. “Thank you. D-d-d-douchebag! Get a life! Sorry.”

With his mittens and neck collar, Tony’s tics had become harmless. “You can let go now, Steve,” Tony said to the supersoldier who was still hugging him from behind. 

“I-I think i’ll just stay here until you calm down a bit,” Steve said, wide eyed. 

“No, it’s fine. You guys can go back upstairs,” Tony told them. He was slightly embarrassed to have them around while his body was betraying him. 

Clint sat down in front of Tony, grabbing his mittened hands. “We want to stay with you,” he said firmly. 

Tony’s head tilted in confusion. “Oh, oh okay.” The pair nodded at him, worry in their eyes. 

“You sure you’re okay?” Clint asked. 

Toyn rolled his eyes which turned into more twitching. “Yes, I'm sure. What do you guys think I did before Bruce? I know how to take care of-of-of-of-of myself.”

“I know you do, but...we’ll just stay here, if you don’t mind,” Steve said. He stared concernedly at Tony’s twisting arm.

The twitching arm suddenly started repeatedly punching Tony’s chest. Even with the mittens, the punching sounded hard. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Tony grunted. 

“It’s okay, Tones. I got you,” Clint said softly, pulling Tony’s hand away. 

“Th-Th-Thank y-y-Shitty shitty bitch,” Tony shouted. He groaned when he was able to comprehend the words coming out of his mouth, “I’m sorry g-guys.”

“It’s okay, Tony, we understand,” Steve told him. 

Tony sighed, his body wriggling. It was another ten minutes before Tony’s limbs calmed down. By the end, his limbs were tingling with pins and needles so Steve wordlessly carried him bridal style upstairs to watch a movie. The men didn’t mention his tic attack to anyone and he was very grateful for them.

Chapter Text

Previously:

They both went inside and sat on opposite sides of Tony’s bed. It was obvious he felt slightly better with both of his boys’ presence. “Seevie,” Tony smiled, though lopsided. 

“I’m here, Tones,” Steve smiled back, placing a hand on Tony’s arm. 

“We both are, doll,” Bucky added. 

Tony let his eyes closed in an effort to sleep off the pain. It would all be better in the morning with his boys by his side. 

____

It wasn’t better in the morning. Tony spent the whole morning clinging to Bucky’s hand as the pain shot up and down his back and his head throbbed horribly. 

“I’m so sorry baby, I’m so sorry,” Bucky said softly, running a soft finger along Tony’s forehead. 

Tony’s eyes squeezed tighter, and his weak grip grew stronger. Outside, Bucky could hear Steve arguing with the nursing staff. “Why can’t you give him more painkillers! He’s in pain, give him something!” The man shouted hysterically. Bucky wanted to go retrieve him but he didn’t want to leave Tony’s side. 

“Steve!” He shouted. He sighed when Tony flinched at the loud noise. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“W-w-wa’er?” Tony slurred. His speech got worse when he was in pain. 

Bucky jumped up to grab a cup of water, luckily it wasn’t far because he didn’t think Tony would be able to release his grip on Bucky’s hand. 

Bucky held the cup to Tony’s shaking lips but pulled it back when Tony started to choke. The genius sputtered and coughed as his throat muscles spasmed. “Relax, baby, relax,” Bucky encouraged, running his fingers along Tony’s neck. Gradually, Tony’s coughing calmed down as he tried to calm down. 

“You want to try to take a nap, baby?” Bucky asked, worry evident in his voice. 

“C-c-can’t, it hur’s,” Tony stuttered, tears dripping down his face. 

Bucky sighed, closing his eyes. Luckily, Steve and the doctor walked in before he could say anything else. 

Steve’s face was slightly red but he melted, seeing Tony crying in pain. He ran to Tony’s side, kissing him on the cheek and wiping away his tears that would not stop falling. 

Bucky focused on the doctor. “He’s in pain, why can’t you guys do anything?” He asked sternly. 

The doctor looked slightly nervous at the supersoldiers. “We have given him pain medicine. You have to understand the extent of damage Mr. Stark’s spine had sustained. He still has three more reconstructive surgeries but we have to give his spine time to heal in between them. We are also keeping an eye on his brain damage. And on top of all of this he has heart issues. This means we have to be very specific to the amount of opioids we administer,” the doctor explained. 

Bucky huffed, closing his eyes. “Can we at least sit him up?”

The doctor looked conflicted, but finally gave in. “Yes, let me call some nurses to assist.”

A few seconds later, four nurses filled the room, surrounding Tony on the bed. The doctor held the remote to move the bed, three nurses stood at the head of the bed, and one stood to watch the monitoring machines. At the doctor's signal, the head of the bed rose. Tony screamed in pain as two of the nurses pulled him up by his armpits and the other held his neck steady. The movement seemed tortuous as they all moved Tony’s body, but gradually Tony’s cries of pain seemed to lessen as the pressure was lessened on his back. 

When he was semi-sitting up, they stopped the bed and placed a bunch of pillows behind him as support. Tony’s breaths were labored but the tears stopped flowing and his shaking lessened slightly. 

“He can stay like this only for a few hours, we’ll be back to readjust him later,” the doctor said. While he spoke, the nurses strapped a sleeve to Tony’s uncasted leg to help with the blood flow in his new position. 

“Thank you, doctor,” Bucky said as they left the room. 

Bucky and Steve immediately went to Tony’s side. “Hey, baby,” Bucky smiled. “How do you feel?”

“Be’er,” Tony hummed. “Dizzy.” Tony blindly reached out for Steve’s arm to ground himself. 

“Wanna try some ice chips?” Bucky suggested. At Tony’s hum, he spooned a chip into Tony’s mouth and waited for it to melt. “Want more?” Tony hummed and Bucky spooned a few more chips into his mouth. 

“Hey Tones, do you think you might want to see the team? They’ve been asking to visit,” Bucky asked wearily. Tony had been firm about not allowing any of his teammates to see him in such a pitiful state. He was embarrassed and even Rhodey hadn’t been allowed to see the man since he had come out of his coma. They had been receiving updates, and sneaky pictures Bucky sent, but that had been all. 

“No, no, no, no,” Tony whined. 

“Okay, okay, calm down, Tones,” Steve soothed, rubbing Tony’s arm. 

“I think you should think about it baby, they miss you very much,” Bucky said. 

Tony whined again and Steve glared at Bucky. “He said no, leave it.”

Bucky huffed but didn’t push further. 

____________________

“You’re doing so good, baby, I'm so proud of you,” Bucky smiled. 

Tony was doing physical therapy and Bucky was helping him grip a ball. Tony was having a hard time coordinating his fingers but today he was able to hold onto the soft stress ball for several seconds. “Can you squeeze it?” Tony’s brows creased in concentration and his fingers twitched. He tried to squeeze but the ball ended up falling back onto the bed. “That’s okay, you’re doing a great job, Tones. I think that’s enough for today.”

Steve rubbed a gentle thumb on Tony’s cheek. “We have a surprise for you, baby.” Tony turned his neck as far as he could towards Steve and scrunched up his brow.

Steve smiled and went outside the room, bringing in a large wheelchair. “Want to go outside?” Bucky and Steve’s eyes brightened at Tony’s lopsided smile and nod. 

They had coordinated with the doctor several days ago their plan to get Tony outside as he hadn’t left the hospital room since he’d arrived several months ago. After much insistence, the doctor had finally agreed. 

It took Steve and Bucky over 30 minutes to get Tony dressed. The nurses had to assist them in sliding sweatpants over Tony’s cast and a jacket over his hospital gown. Steve had also chosen a warm hat for Tony to wear over his shaved head. Bucky placed thick warm socks over Tony’s foot and the toes peeking out of his cast. 

A huge machine was brought in to lift Tony from the bed and lower him into the chair. Bucky arranged his limp legs more comfortably and Steve lowered the headrest to support Tony’s short stature. It took nearly two hours but Tony was finally into the chair. 

The chair was large with a full back since Tony was nowhere near supporting himself. An oxygen tank was on the back of the chair, attached to Tony’s nasal cannula, and Tony wore a face mask since a cold could essentially kill him with his bad immune system. Steve also tucked a blanket over Tony’s legs and put mittens on his hands so he wouldn’t get cold. 

“Ready to go, baby?” Bucky smiled, kneeling in front of Tony.

The billionaire was extremely pale and shaking from the whole ordeal but nodded. Bucky pressed a kiss to his cheek, thanked the staff, and led them to the small garden the hospital had. Steve walked next to them, holding Tony’s weak hand. 

Upon entering the outdoor space, they heard Tony take a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air. A few tears came to Tony’s eyes as he blinked at the sun and blue sky in joy. Bucky found a bench for them, so he pulled Tony’s chair next to it and sat down. Steve sat on the ground at Tony’s feet making Bucky roll his eyes. Steve was like a golden retriever sometimes. 

They were silent as they experienced the soft breeze and fresh air. Steve leaned his head gently on Tony’s legs and smiled when the man moved a weak hand onto his head and dug softly into his hair. Bucky took Tony’s other hand and pressed a kiss onto his bony wrist. It was the first time in the past few months things felt calm.

Chapter Text

Tony tried to keep his whimpers quiet as possible. It was 4 in the morning and he was awoken by a horrible pain in his stomach that kept getting worse with every minute. He had a high pain tolerance but even this was reducing him to whimpers. He tried as hard as he could not to wake up Rhodey, but he couldn’t resist shouting when a particularly rough bolt of pain rushed through him. 

“Tony?” Rhodey whispered into the darkness of the room. 

Tony didn’t answer, instead biting his lip against the pain. 

“Jarvis?” He heard Rhodey say and soon the lights were turned on, though a bit dim. 

“Oh Tones,” Rhodey melted, sitting up. “What’s going on?”

“M’ Sorry,” Tony cried, a few tears slipping from his eyes. 

“No, no. What’s going on, baby?” Rhodey frowned, grabbing Tony’s hand. 

“I don’t know, Rho,” Tony whimpered. “I don’t-” Tony squeaked as pain radiated through his stomach and side. He squirmed in the bed and fisted the sheets. 

Rhodey pulled Tony into his arms. “It’s okay, deep breaths, baby,” Rhodey coaxed Tony. The billionaire didn’t realize how thin the air was until Rhodey pointed out his lack of breaths. “Is it your stomach? Is it cramping?”

Tony nodded. “Is not cramps-” The genius froze again as the pain took over his body. “I’mma be sick,” he mumbled. 

Rhodey’s eyes widened and he immediately jumped up. He pulled Tony to the edge of the bed but stopped when Tony screamed in pain, grabbing his stomach. “It’s okay, baby, you’re okay,” he muttered. He pulled Tony into his arms and placed him in front of the toilet just in time. Rhodey rubbed Tony’s back as his husband cried and vomited. “Jarvis, can you get Bruce?” 

When Tony was finished, his eyes closed and he started to melt toward the floor. “Woah, hold on, baby,” Rhodey exclaimed, pulling him up and helping him lean against the tub. Rhodey moved to the sink and wet a towel before wiping Tony’s mouth. The billionaire’s face was creased with exhaustion and pain, but Rhodey didn’t know what to do. 

Luckily, a half-sleepy Bruce stumbled in. “What’s going on?” 

“I don’t know. He just woke up in pain and then he threw up-”

Bruce kneeled in front of Tony and started checking his vitals. “Where is the pain, Tony?” Tony whined in his exhausted state, lazily gesturing towards his stomach and side. “What does it feel like?”

Tony wiped the sleep out of his eyes and jumped as another bolt of pain stabbed him. “S’ burning and sharp,” he rasped. 

Bruce lifted Tony’s shirt and felt around. “Does this hurt?” The scientist asked, pressing down on Tony’s tense stomach. Tony shook his head and Bruce frowned. “It doesn’t hurt when I press?” Tony shook his head again and shouted as the pain increased. 

“Breathe, baby. Breathe,” Rhodey encouraged, massaging Tony’s hand. 

Bruce pulled Tony’s shirt back down. “It’s not appendicitis, so that’s good. But I’m not completely sure what’s wrong. I know he doesn’t want to go to hospital, so I suggest giving him painkillers and waiting to see if it gets better,” he told Rhodey. 

Rhodey nodded, though still worried. 

“Do you need help getting him back to bed?” Bruce asked awkwardly. 

Rhodey glanced at his 5’7, barely 150lbs husband. “I got him.” Bruce nodded, leaving, and Rhodey pulled Tony into his arms. He set him down on the bed and helped him get settled while Bruce fetched pain pills and water. 

Tony spent the next half hour with his face pressed into Rhodey’s side, crying from the pain, while the military man rubbed his back. Luckily, Tony was able to get a respite from the pain when he cried himself to sleep. 

Tony and Rhodey woke up exhausted the next morning. Tony’s stomach wasn’t hurting very much but he could still feel the ghost of that horrible pain in his stomach and side. Rhodey was happy he was feeling better but they both were still miffed as to what had happened. 

Tony was also miffed at the pain he experienced when he went to pee that morning. He also was concerned how pink the bowl was when he went to flush but decided not to alert Rhodey. 

The pair joined the team for breakfast in the common area. Other than the occasional glance of concern from Bruce, and Tony’s lack of appetite, they acted like everything was normal. 

That was until in the middle of a conversation, Tony scooted his chair back suddenly, causing a loud scraping sound to overtake the room. Everyone looked towards him as he stumbled out of his chair and to the elevator. “Gotta ch-check something,” he mumbled. Rhodey squeezed through the doors just as they closed. 

As soon as they were in private, Tony’s knees collapsed and the only thing that held him up was Rhodey’s firm grasp around his waist. “Same thing as last night?” Rhodey asked knowingly. 

Tony nodded. “But also my back now,” he added. When the doors opened, Tony took a deep breath and slowly shuffled his way out of the elevator, eyes scrunched in pain. He made it pretty far with Rhodey’s help until another spike of pain stabbed through him and he fell to his knees. 

Rhodey followed him down, rubbing his shoulders. “Breathe, baby. That’s it,” he said softly. “Let’s get you to the couch and i’ll fetch some medicine, okay?” Tony took a few more hitched breaths and nodded. Rhodey helped him stand and was forced to carry him to the couch when the genius’ legs wouldn’t hold himself. 

Rhodey wanted to cry at Tony’s moans of pain from the couch as he searched the cabinets for supplies. He grabbed everything he needed and made his way back over. He melted seeing Tony squirming around as his body fought the pain. “Hurts so much, Rho,” he cried. 

“I know, baby, I know,” he whispered. He helped Tony swallow pain pills and water before sliding onto the couch behind him. He reclined against the arm of the large couch and helped Tony rest against his chest. He slid a heat pack between them against the area on the side of Tony’s lower back that he said was hurting. Tony snuggled up to his husband and tried to will the pain away. Rhodey listened to his lover’s moans of pain and couldn’t do anything but rub his belly gently and whisper reassurances. 

Twenty minutes later, Tony’s head went limp as he slumped against Rhodey. “Tones?” The darker man asked. 

“I feel sick,” he slurred, eyes closed. 

Rhodey noticed the slight green tint to his face. “You’re gonna be sick?” He asked in alarm, searching for a bag or garbage can he could grab.

“No,” Tony hummed. “I jus’ feel sick.” 

Rhodey relaxed and ran a hand through his husband’s hair. “Do you want to move to the bathroom just in case?” 

Tony groaned in response and snuggled closer to Rhodey. He jumped as another sharp pain ran through him. “This sucks,” he pouted.

“I agree,” Rhodey sighed, kissing Tony’s hand. 

Suddenly, the elevator door opened and a frazzled scientist ran in. “Kidney stones!”

Both Rhodey and Tony frowned. “Excuse me?” They both said at the same time. 

“You’re passing kidney stones,” Bruce said, walking further into the room showing them a bunch of papers. 

“So what does that mean? How do we get the pain to stop?” Rhodey asked, ignoring the medical documents shoved in his face. 

“Well…you can’t,” Bruce said, slowly moving backwards at Rhodey’s changing expression.

“Why not?” Rhodey growled. 

“Because the stone has to pass on it’s own.”

“And how long will that take?” 

“Any time from 45 days to a year.”

“What?!” Rhodey and Tony both screamed.

Chapter Text

“Steve, I'm not going to the debriefing, that’s the last time I’m going to tell you,” Tony said, collapsing into his workshop chair. He grabbed his chest when it suddenly twinged in pain. 

“I don’t care, Tony. Two days now Fury’s been on my ass. Throw me a bone,” Steve said sternly, grabbing Tony’s arm. 

Tony pulled away. “I said no, Steve. Now get out, i’m working,” he huffed. 

Steve glared at Tony’s back. “Well you might as well sleep down here tonight if you’re so busy,” he grunted before stomping out. 

Tony listened to the retreating footsteps and let out a pained breath. His breaths felt short, like the air was getting thicker and his heart fluttered. 

“You should listen to him, you know.” Tony jumped at the voice. He turned to see Natasha standing where Steve had been. “Fury has been harassing him about how undevoted you seem. As your husband he’s been defending you, but Fury’s talking about benching you if you won’t get it together.” Despite her monotone words, he could tell she was mad at him. 

“You don’t understand, Nat. I-I’m not trying to be difficult,” Tony said softly. 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “When are you going to grow up Tony and start being responsible? This is a team, you can’t pick and choose when you want to be a part of it.” She started walking away.

“Nat,” Tony sighed.

The spy walked back up the stairs. 

Tony let out a breath, ignoring the wheeze that clung onto it. Despite his teammate and husband’s beliefs, he was not purposely trying to avoid team responsibilities- it was in his best interest. 

These past few days his heart’s been acting funny and since he was born with a congenital heart defect, Jarvis (human, breathing, heart-beating Jarvis) always told him to take it easy when he started to feel this way. Despite his wildness and inability to take care of himself, he actually didn’t want to die, thank you very much. And he definitely didn’t want a repeat of the heart attack he had had when he was five years old and got into a fight on the playground. 

But the last thing he wanted to do was tell Steve, or anyone on the team. He was already the weakest one being human and untrained- they would definitely bench him, or worse, kick him off the team if they knew. 

Tony grabbed the workbench as the world started to float and his body tipped with it. He caught himself just before he ended face first on the hard floor. Tony reached into the draw for his pills and opened them. His shaking hands immediately sent them all crashing onto the table before spilling and scattering on the floor. Tony picked up three of the pills that swam in his vision with shaking hands and forced them down his throat, dry. 

After much debate, he dragged himself towards the elevator- Steve’s disappointed face glued into his mind. He knew he looked like shit, but if they wanted him at the debriefing, he would be there. Afterall, he was a ‘teamplayer’. 

When Tony walked into the conference room slow and unsteady, Nick was the first to notice, but he stayed silent. 

“Late,” Clint coughed dramatically, followed by a giggle. 

If Tony was not seeing double, he would have glared at the archer, but he was too focused on finding a seat and not passing out. It took a bit longer than he would have liked but he found a chair and collapsed heavily into it. 

“As I was saying, the last mission was a success but there are still some things we can improve on….” Fury droned on. 

The words were fading in and out of Tony’s ears so he decided to ignore them in general (which is no different to what he usually did at debriefings). He turned his head to look around the room, searching for blonde hair, and eventually caught Steve’s eye. His husband didn’t smile at him but he didn’t look as angry as earlier. 

“Iron Man.” Tony whipped his head to the front of the room, causing stars to erupt his vision. He hummed in attention. “You should have waited for Steve’s orders before going into the building.”

“I disagree,” Tony frowned. There were civilians inside and he had already had Jarvis scan the building before he entered to check for explosives. 

“I don’t care if you disagree, Steve is your Captain and his orders-”

“But that doesn’t mean he knows better than-”

“Tony!” Steve shouted. Tony turned to him and noticed his reddening face. Steve hated when he argued with Fury.  

“The fact is, whether it turned out fine or not, you should have waited for my orders,” Steve started. “Soldiers should always-”

Tony jumped up, “We are not soldiers!” He shouted, his words slurring. He grabbed the table as his vision darkened and the air seemed to leave his body. 

Steve stood up. “Well maybe if you were, you would know not to risk the lives of everyone on this team by being so-”

Steve shouted in surprise as Tony collapsed on the ground, smacking his head on the table and knocking a few of the empty chairs down. The team stared wide-eyed in shock.

“Fuck, call an ambulance,” Fury said, moving towards Tony. 

“Wait, what-”

“Call a fucking ambulance,” Fury shouted. “Bruce.” The scientists needed no further indication before running over to take Tony’s pulse and help check his vitals. He ripped the shirt off of Tony, exposing his chest. “Clint, find an oxygen tank.” The archer nodded and ran out of the room to search. 

“He’s bradycardic,” Bruce said. 

Steve kneeled next to Tony’s head, shaking. “Wh-what happened to him?”

“He has a heart defect,” Fury supplied, not breaking his eyes from the pale billionaire. 

“How come I didn’t…” Steve whispered, upset. 

“He was born with it. I only know because I used to help babysit him when Howard was gone,” Fury said. “What’s the ETA on the ambulance?”

“About a minute,” Natasha supplied. 

Clint suddenly ran in with an oxygen tank attached to a mask. Bruce hurriedly placed it over Tony’s mouth to help with his breathing. 

Suddenly, Tony’s eyes started fluttering. “Where?” He whispered. He unconsciously smacked at the oxygen mask with his hand but Fury quickly removed his hand and repositioned the mask.

“Hey Tony, do you know where you are right now?” Bruce asked. 

Tony blinked, looking around with glossy eyes. “Dunno,” he rasped. “S’eve?”

“I’m right here, baby. I’m right here,” Steve said, leaning down and pressing a kiss onto his husband’s forehead. 

“Hurts,” Tony whined, dragging a weak arm to his chest. 

Fury pulled the hand away and moved into Tony’s vision. “Unc’ Nick?” He slurred. A rare smile formed on Fury’s face. 

“You’re gonna be fine, Tony. Just take deep breaths,” the one-eyed man said, uncharacteristically soft. 

Tony’s lips gradually grew less blue but his breathing still seemed troubled. “No hosp’al,” he slurred, becoming aware of his surroundings. 

“Too late,” Fury said as they heard the paramedics come down the hall. 

“S’eve’s coming,” Tony said firmly. “S’eve’s coming.”

“He can go but I want you to cooperate with the nurses. I don’t want any more complaints on my desk,” Fury said. 

Tony let out a huff of breath and Steve just stared wide-eyed at the whole exchange. He was so confused at the last few minutes, he couldn’t comprehend it all. 

He was silent until they got into the ambulance. Tony seemed to be fairing a bit better and the machines were no longer blinking red. “Tony?” Steve said softly. 

The billionaire opened his eyes from where he was resting on the stretcher. “Yeah, babe?”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t mean to cause all this. I’m so sorry,” Steve said. Tony melted at his kicked puppy look. 

“Aw Stevie. You didn’t cause this. I was born with a heart defect and sometimes my heart beats a bit slower than it’s supposed to. It just...wasn’t a good day. But this wasn’t your fault,” Tony said firmly. 

Steve nodded but still looked extremely guilty. “I wish you would have told me.”

“I didn’t want you to worry.”

“I’ll always worry about you,” Steve smiled. He pressed his forehead to Tony’s and they both sat quietly, soaking the strength from each other.

It was right before they arrived at the hospital that the machines started beeping wildly and Tony's body went limp. "Tony?!" Steve shouted. 

"He's in heart failure," the paramedic announced. The paramedic pushed Steve out of the way and started hooking his husband up to more machines. "Sir, I'm going to need you to perform CPR on him," the paramedic said, rushing around the ambulance. Steve stared in shock. "Now!" The paramedic said firmly, pushing the supersoldier's hands onto Tony. Steve pushed on his husband's chest robotically while the paramedic forced a tube into Tony's mouth. In seconds the paramedic was applying paddles onto Tony's chest. He forced Steve to move back and shouted "Clear!" before pressing a button on a machine. Steve stared in horror as Tony's body arched with the shock of the paddles. 

Luckily, the machines stopped it's frantic red beeping. The paramedic took off the paddles and fiddled with the other machines and tubes. "Is he going to be okay?" Steve asked, still in shock. 

"Honestly?" Steve nodded. "People with congenital heart defects like his don't survive incredibly long, it's a miracle he's lived to the age he is especially with his...profession. He's in desperate need of a heart transplant."

"Well how do I get him one of those?" Steve piped up, overcome with hope. 

The paramedic looked at him sadly. "He'll be placed on a long list with other people waiting for one. But with his profession and his drug history- he'll be very low or I doubt they'd place him on it at all. I'm sorry."

Steve went pale and his heart dropped to his feet. "S'eve?" he heard. 

"I'm here, Tones. I'm here."

Chapter Text

Tony’s stimming is always worse when Bruce is gone. And after almost a week of the man being away on his business trip, almost all of the training Howard forced into him went out of the window and it took everything Tony had to be seen as normal . 

Tony walked into the common kitchen and was met with the whole team, sans Bruce. He vaguely noticed his fingers repeatedly snapping at his sides as he counted the steps to the table. He forced away the counting and sat down, staring at his hands. 

“Good morning…?” Steve said. 

Tony wanted to slap himself. He forgot to go through his mental checklist. Howard would have been pissed. “Good morning. How are you guys?” People find it rude if you do not address the room when entering. 

“Could be better, I got a big ass bruise from yesterday's doombots takedown,” Clint huffed, shoving pancakes into his mouth.

Tony’s breath picked up trying to think of a response. Was Clint’s statement supposed to be funny? Was he sad about his injury? Was he angry? Tony didn’t have Bruce to help him out on this one. “I’m not surprised. You’re the clumsiest one on the team, birdbrain” he went with. 

He figured by the tightening of Clint’s face he chose the wrong response. “Fuck you, Stark.”

“That was low, Tony,” Steve said, his face twisted in what Tony recognized as disappointment . Or was it anger ? He should freshen up on his emotional cue cards. 

Howard always used to tell him that Starks never apologize. So what was he to say in this situation? “Don’t worry, I saw Sam trip on air too, yesterday. Must be the bird nicknames.” Again, his joke must have been the wrong response as more frowns were seen. 

Sam, who had just woken up, walked into the kitchen just in time to see everyone frown at him. “What?” 

Natasha relayed the conversation to him and Sam immediately approached Tony. “So you like to talk behind my back, Stark? You think you’re funny?” Tony stared at him blankly but shifted back as far as his chair would allow. He tried to force himself to stare into Sam’s narrow eyes but he couldn’t. His eyes flickered around Sam’s head and his fingers scratched at his arms. “See, you can’t even look at me,” Sam smirked. 

Tony’s eyes flickered and he tried to hold Sam’s gaze but he couldn't . He just couldn’t . “You talk so much shit, Stark, but you’re just a coward at the end of the day.”

Tony might now have been able to distinguish the emotion on Sam’s face, but he knew the words were meant to hurt. He curled in on himself and started biting his nails. 

Sam stared for a second longer before walking away to the stove. The team were silent, watching the exchange. 

Natasha rolled her eyes at the whole situation and walked over to Tony with a plate of pancakes. “Here,” she said, holding them out. 

Tony grimaced and his hands started to tremble. “I don’t like to be handed things,” he said, slightly pleading. 

Natasha rolled her eyes and forced the plate closer. “Take it, Stark.”

Tony closed his eyes over and over, panicking. His fingers snapped and his shoe tapped against the floor in tandem. He took a deep breath and looked at the area to the left of Natasha. “I don’t like...I don’t like to be handed things,” he repeated again robotically. 

Natasha huffed, annoyed, and forced the plate into his hands. Tony moved his hands away as if stung and the plate went crashing to the ground. Tony cringed, letting out a shout, and the whole kitchen started laughing at his reaction. 

Tony blinked and blinked as the sounds in the kitchen grew louder and louder. The breaking glass seemed to echo on top of the overlapping laughter. Tony forced his hands over his ears and started humming, running towards the elevator. The laughter seemed to follow him as Jarvis brought him to the workshop and encouraged him to calm down. 

Jarvis lowered the lights and televisions so that the only sound was light whirring of Tony’s machines. Tony grabbed a gauntlet from a nearby table and brought it into the small ball he was curled into on the floor. His fingers played with the sticking out wires, mentally going over the colors in his head. Red crosses with blue. Blue connects with green. Or does green connect with red? But if green connects with red, what happens with blue? And then what about yello-

“Tony?” 

Tony looked up at the sound of his name and was met with a large holographic screen showing his boyfriend. “Brucie,” he said softly. 

“What’s going on, Tones?” Bruce said worriedly. “Jarvis called me.”

“Nothings...nothings wrong,” he sighed, being calmed by the sound of Bruce’s voice. 

“Do you want me to come home?”

“No, i’m fine, Brucie. I’ll see you when you get back.”

Bruce sighed knowing Tony’s urge to be independent as possible. He knew the genius gets extra stressed when he wasn’t around but Tony rarely asks for help. “Okay, Tones. But don’t be afraid to call me for anything. I love you, baby.”

“Love you too, Brucie,” Tony gave a small smile. Tony released another breath when the screen turned off, feeling slightly better. 

When Tony made his way back to the common room, the team were setting up for a movie. They all stopped what they were doing when Tony entered the room. “I’m...sorry,” he said, looking at his shoes and the wall and the door and the couch. “I didn’t mean to upset you guys.”

The room was silent for several agonizing seconds before Clint huffed. “Whatever, Stark.” Tony was a bit confused at the statement, unsure of its meaning, but he approached the group anyway. 

A glance at the clock told him they were setting up for a movie, which they always did on weekends. They were 14 minutes early, but Tony decided to stay quiet. But he did frown when they put Jurassic Park into the DVD player. “It was Bruce’s turn to choose. He wanted Beauty and the Beast.”

“Yeah, well Bruce isn’t here, so we are watching this.”

“But,” Tony started, pulling at his jeans. “Next was Beauty and the Beast.” Last time Natasha chose, so next was Bruce’s pick. That was the order. They can’t change the order. 

“Just sit down and watch the movie,” Sam rolled his eyes. 

“We’ll watch Beauty and the Beast when Bruce gets back,” Steve compromised. But then the order would be even more messed up. 

Tony moved to sit in his normal seat, but Sam was sitting in it. The darker man just glared as Tony went to speak. Instead, the genius was forced to take the other seat between Natasha and Clint. 

Tony was uncomfortable and his ramrod straight posture showed it. He didn’t want to be touched by the two spies so he squeezed his body thin and sat on the edge of the seat. He didn’t like Jurassic Park because of all the loud sounds, but he didn’t want to mess up the routine of Saturday movie days even further. 

“Can you stop that?” Clint growled halfway through the movie. 

Tony jumped, confused. 

“The snapping, it's distracting,” Natasha emphasized. 

“Yeah, there’s no music playing, dude. You’re coo-coo brain is only imagining it,” Sam smirked. 

The group laughed and Tony shoved his hands into his shirt in distress. He swirled them around, wrinkling his shirt. 

“What is wrong with you today man? You’re like...weirder than normal,” Clint said. “And that’s a record that’s hard to beat.”

Everyone laughed harder. 

Tony curled into himself and started rocking. He closed his eyes, his hands started scratching at his arms, and he hummed under his breath. The team stared, confused. 

“Okay dude, you won,” Clint laughed.

“Tony?” Natasha said, grabbing the man’s arm. Tony jumped back, shaking. His rocking picked up and his humming grew louder. 

“What is wrong with-”

“Tony?!” The group turned just in time to see Bruce run out from the elevator doors. 

“Bruce? You’re back early. Guess now you can help figure out what’s wrong with nut job over here,” Clint huffed. 

Bruce’s face tinted green as he moved his eyes from the panicking Tony to the team. “He's autistic, you asshole.”

Everyone’s face turned pale. They watched silently as Bruce coached a silent Tony into the elevator and down to the workshop. 

“Fuck,” Clint said finally. 

“Double fuck. We are horrible people,” Sam said. 

“What’s autistic?” Steve asked.

Chapter Text

Tony’s heart stopped twice more before they were able to stabilize him in the ICU. And it was another four hours before anyone was allowed into his room. 

Steve almost collapsed on the spot when he walked into Tony’s hospital room to see his husband pale and limp on the bed, tubes and wires criss-crossing all over his body. He didn’t realize he had been staring in shock for several minutes until a hand touched his shoulder.

Steve jumped and turned to see Fury standing next to him, staring at Tony with sad eyes. “He’s a fighter,” the man said determinedly. 

Steve nodded and wiped the tears he felt dampening his cheeks. His face turned a bit red in embarrassment but Fury just sighed and gestured him to the chair beside Tony’s bed. As soon as Steve sat, he reached for Tony’s IV covered hand and shoved his face into the sheets by Tony’s hip. He heard the scrape of the chair as Fury sat on the other side of Tony, but he focused all his attention on not bursting into sobs in front of his boss. 

“He’ll pull through,” Fury said, after several agonizing minutes of silence. 

Steve pulled his head up and listened to the slow beats of the heart monitor and the whirring of the ventilator. All the tubes stuffed Tony’s body like a turkey and Steve had to wonder how there was any room left for Tony inside. “He can’t- he can’t even breathe on his own,” Steve whimpered. 

Nick didn’t answer for several minutes, his gaze locked on his honorary nephew. “Just have faith in him, Steve. He’s stronger than you think.”

Despite Fury’s words, Tony did not improve that day. Or the next. Or the next. 

And just when Steve was prepared to scream at Nick for all the false hope he had given him, one day, Tony’s fingers twitched. And then his toes. And then his eyes opened. And Steve cried. 

It was about two weeks before they were able to take Tony home. While this episode had taken a toll on Tony’s heart, it had illuminated the degressen of Tony’s heart function that had been happening for some time now. 

They gave him more medicines and prescriptions, but Nick and Tony knew that his luck was running out. When they told him he was born with a congenital heart defect, they also told him how low the survival rate was and how unlikely it would be for him to make it into adulthood. 

But he did. 

He made it. He lived his life. And he is proud of everything he accomplished. And he is proud of all the experiences he’s had and people he’s met. 

If he left Earth today, he would be not only satisfied, but okay . And he knew his last challenge would be getting Steve to the point that he was okay with it too. Okay with letting him go.

Getting home from the hospital, the whole team had immediately noticed the difference in Tony. He was slower. Not mentally, but physically he seemed to move in slow motion- probably in time with his heart’s slower beats. 

Also somehow, he was happier. He spent less time in the lab and more time with the team. They had team movie nights, team breakfasts, and they actually took the time to get to know each other as people and not as superheroes. 

Steve, on the other hand, was a mess. He tried not to show it in front of Tony, but he was depressed. He hadn’t had time to come to terms with Tony’s fate like the genius had. He was upset with Tony for not telling him, angry even, because there were so many moments he wishes he could take back. Every argument they had, every time they spent apart, he wishes he could go back and tell himself to not let that time go to waste, because in the end, in this moment now, he wishes he could savor those extra minutes he could have had with Tony in his arms. 

And he was also angry. Angry that there was nothing he could do but hold his phone in his hand, hoping, praying that someone from the hospital would call to tell him they had a solution, a treatment, a heart . But he knew how unlikely that was, and he was angry .

Another two weeks after coming home, Tony was obviously in a bad way. Besides being thin as a stick, he couldn’t move very well anymore. His laborious heart was low on energy and just the act of walking across the room was equivalent to running a 5k. He moved from a walker, to a wheelchair, to a permanent spot on the couch. 

His teammates would take turns sitting with him, letting them use him as a pillow when he could no longer hold himself up. They all eventually learned how to set up his nebulizer and check his heart rate every hour. Bruce tried to feed Tony soup, but the genius quickly lost his appetite and it became a daily struggle to get him to consume anything more than two bites of toast. 

Steve walked into the living room and stood in the doorway. He watched his husband type on the StarkPad in his lap with agonizingly slow, shaking fingers, and he just let the tears fall from his eyes. Hearing Steve’s sobs, Tony looked up slightly, his head too heavy to raise completely, and frowned. “Stevie?” His voice was raspy and painful, and it made Steve cry harder. 

Steve approached his husband and in one motion, pulled him into his arms. He carried him bridal style to their bedroom and placed him gently on the bed. The pair were silent and Tony watched through sad eyes as Steve climbed into bed next to him, running fingers through his hair and staring deep into his eyes. “I don’t want to lose you,” Steve finally whispered, his voice clogged by tears. 

“You won’t.” Tony gave him a watery smile. It wasn’t long before his eyes were begging to be closed. “I love you, Stevie.”

“I love you Tony,” Stvee whispered back. 

Tony smiled and let out a long sigh. He let his eyes close and his breath even out, cuddling up to his husband. 

Just as Steve was about to close his own eyes, he felt something vibrating in his pocket. Steve frowned, pulling it out and reading the unknown number. He answered.

“Hello Mr. Rogers-Stark, I’m calling to request you bring Tony to the hospital as soon as possible. We have found a heart for your husband.”

Chapter Text

When Bruce got Tony settled down and forced him to rest for a bit, he went back to the common room where the Avengers were all staring in shock, trying to comprehend what had happened. 

Bruce sighed, taking a seat on the couch and prepared himself for questions.

“How did we not find out sooner?” Natasha asked. Bruce knew she would be the most skeptical, having not suspected anything from when she did her SHIELD report on Tony so long ago. 

“Tony is very high functioning. Howard made sure of that,” Bruce said vaguely. He didn’t want to go too deeply into Howard’s ‘parenting’ with Steve around, and plus that was Tony’s choice to talk to the team about his childhood. “What you saw today is very rare. Tony tries very hard to imitate a neurotypical and he almost always succeeds. He was just on edge this week.”

“So all that snapping and stuff was…?” Clint asked, confused. 

“It’s called stimming, it’s how he calms himself down. Tony’s main ones are snapping, humming, and tapping.”

“But why didn’t he tell us he was…” Steve started. 

“Autistic.”

“Autistic?” Steve finished, frowning.

“Because I knew you would treat me differently. Everyone does,” Tony said, walking into the room. The team stared wide eyed at him and he took that as disgust. “See, you think i’m a freak.”

“We don’t think you’re a freak!” Steve said loudly. “I just don’t know what this means, or how to help, or what to do, or…” Steve sighed. 

“You don’t have to do anything. I got it under control-”

“Tony,” Bruce sighed. “Stop talking like that.” Tony rolled his eyes, crossing his legs. “No, listen to me. You are autistic . It isn’t something you need to get ‘under control’. It’s a part of you. I know you hate to hear that, but it’s true. You are autistic. You shouldn’t be forced to change to make us feel better. You are who you are. And we love who you are. Yes, I'm sure there are times in the past that the team was ignorant, but this is a chance to educate them.”

Tony glanced up from where he was staring hard into his lap. He was met with a team of sad, begging faces. 

“Bruce is right Tony. I’m sorry for the way we have treated you. It was ignorant and it was rude, and like he said, we want to learn from it,” Clint said. 

Tony watched them all nod and sighed. “I can’t always tell what people are feeling. I look at your faces and…” Tony waved his hands around hopelessly. “It doesn’t always click, I guess. So when I say things that are mean or rude, I’m not always trying to be. To be fair, I am really sarcastic and sometimes like to be an asshole, but I can’t always tell when I cross a line. So I guess I am apologizing in advance.”

“So this means we all need to communicate our feelings better. Verbalize them if we have to,” Bruce added. Tony nodded and so did the team. 

“Of course we can do that,” Natasha said. 

“I am not as good at social cues as I may seem. Howard prepared me how to act on camera and in front of the press, but at home behind closed doors, it doesn’t come as natural to me. So like when I leave a room without saying bye, or forget to say ‘Good morning’, again I am not purposely trying to be rude,” Tony said. 

The group nodded. “We understand.”

“But I don’t want you guys to treat me differently. I’m still a person. I’m still Tony . My mind just operates differently.”

“Well we already knew that. I can’t understand any of the machinery or math thingies in your workshop. I figured you were ‘different’ a long time ago,” Steve joked. 

Everyone laughed, including Tony. 

Tony would have liked to say things didn’t change, but they did, and for the better. The group was more tolerant than before. Tony no longer had to force down his stimming or wonder what emotions people were feeling. They were all tested though when Tony and Bruce’s first anniversary was coming up. 

Bruce was doing a consult at Shield for the day when Jarvis called the rest of the team down to the workshop. They entered the glass doors to see Tony in the middle of the workshop pacing and ripping at his hair. The group ran over wide-eyed. 

Tony’s hair was matted with sweat and he moved back and forth, shooting out his hands in fists when he wasn’t tugging on fistfuls of his hair. “Don’t, don’t know. Don’t know,” he kept repeating loudly. He couldn’t seem to finish the rest of the sentence. But they didn’t know if that was because he just couldn’t articulate what he wanted or because he was hyperventilating so badly. 

“Tony?” Natasha asked cautiously. 

Tony didn’t acknowledge her besides moving his hand from his hair to scratch furiously at his arm. Steve jumped to get him to stop but Clint pulled him back. “He doesn’t like to be touched, remember?”

“But he’s hurting himself!”

“Tony?” Natasha asked again. 

“D-d-don’t know...don’t know,” Tony forced out, flustered. 

“Maybe we should call Bruce,” Clint suggested. 

“No! No!” Tony shouted. “Don’t k-know. Don’t…” Tony’s chest heaved as he fought to breathe through thick air. 

“Tony, we don’t know how to help you,” Natasha said helplessly. 

Steve watched the man’s hitching breaths and stepped forward. “Watch me Tony. You gotta take deep breaths like this. Look.” Steve took exaggerated breaths. 

It took a few seconds, but Tony focused on him, imitating Steve’s large breaths to try to get his own under control. 

“That’s it,” Steve said softly. 

Tony snapped his fingers, his eyes racing around the room. “It’s our a-anniversary tomorrow b-b-but…”

“Come on, deep breaths,” Steve encouraged. 

Tony paused to breath. “G-gift. I-I don’t...I d-don’t.”

“You don’t know what to get Bruce as a gift for your anniversary tomorrow?” Natasha concluded. 

Tony took another few hitched breaths, nodding. His hand found its way in his hair again and ever so cautiously, Steve gently reached and removed it. “We can help you.” Tony let out another long breath, recovering from his breakdown. 

When he got his breath and mind back under control, he internally screamed, hating that they saw him freak out, but also couldn’t ignore the newfound trust he had in them. He was still their same Tony.

Chapter Text

Tony swallowed hard and tried to control his shaking. 

Jarvis had just informed him that the team was having a mandatory bonding session in the pool and Steve requested that he come down ten minutes ago. But he couldn’t move. 

He couldn’t go to the pool because he didn’t want to have to wear a bathing suit because he didn’t want the team to see his skin because his skin was ugly, it was gross, it was everything Howard loved to scream at him every time his sleeve ran up his arm or his stomach showed under his shirt. He was a freak .  

Tony has neurofibromatosis and has had it since he was a child. It was to blame for his short stature, slightly bowed legs, and weird skin. 

Tony removed his shirt and stared at his body in the bathroom mirror. He looked like a dalmatian with light brown spots freckling his body. And to make matters worse, he had a bunch of pea-sized bumps all over his skin. He was a mess. He was ugly. He was gross. He was a freak . 

He didn’t notice how thick the air got until he was sure all of it had left the room. His chest heaved as his body fought for air but his brain denied it. Sweat matted his hair and a wave of dizziness washed over him, sending him crashing to the cold tile of the bathroom. He had reached for the shower curtain for support and didn’t even notice the loud sound as it too ripped and crashed into the tub. 

Tony’s eyes swam around the room, looking for air, looking for help, looking for a cave to hide in so no one would ever have to see him or his ugly body again. 

Just as his vision started to go black from his uncontrollable breathing, he felt a hand rest lightly on his chest, and soon his blurry vision made out his husband’s blue-green eyes. 

“L-l-loki?” He choked out. 

“-nthony. Deep breaths,” he heard from underwater. 

He followed his husband’s gaze to his chest and tried to match his breathing. It took a while, but soon he was able to feel Locki’s hand running through his hair and the kisses his husband peppered onto his cheeks. “Feeling better?”

“Mmhmm,” he hummed, suddenly tired. 

“Want to tell me what's wrong?” Loki asked softly, pulled Tony into his arms. 

Tony’s breath immediately picked up and Loki stroked his cheek to get him to calm down. “P-p-pool,” he said. 

“Ah yes, I saw the dog pile splashing around downstairs. Did you not want to join them?” Loki asked, tucking Tony’s head under his chin.

“C-can’t let them see me like this,” Tony whimpered, a few tears escaping. 

Loki sighed, remembered how body-conscious his husband was. Earth was the only planet that seemed to care about appearance. On the other planets, people walked around as all different shapes, sizes, and colors and no one cared. But experiencing for himself how rude midgardians can be, he understood his husband’s anxiety. “I know you are nervous as to how the team will treat you, but you shouldn’t bother. I know for a fact they would not care as to your appearance. They are very...accepting,” Loki said. Tony took comfort in his accented words.

After a bit of silence, Loki grabbed Tony’s arm and started kissing all the little bumps he could see. Tony cried watching his husband kiss the things he hated most about himself. “You are so beautiful, Anthony,” Loki whispered as he finished. “Your deformities make you who you are. They make you special.” Loki wiped the tears from Tony’s cheeks. “Would you be more comfortable if I was to accompany you?”

Tony nodded into Loki’s neck. He jumped when Loki’s shirt suddenly disappeared and he was now wearing swim trunks. 

“Well, let’s get on then,” Loki said, pushing back his hair. He helped Tony stand and they both made their way to the elevator.

Tony’s body shook as they descended and he was very notically trembled by the time the elevator dinged at the bottom floor. Jarvis kept the door, Loki grabbed Tony’s hands, looking him in the eye. “You are beautiful. Every part of you.” Right before the doors opened, Loki took a deep breath before turning into his natural form. Tony had half a second to take in his blue husband before the elevator doors opened. 

The team froze in the middle of a game of Marco Polo. There was only a second of hesitation as they took in Loki’s blue figure and Tony’s spotted and bumpy skin before they resumed their game. “Come on over guys, water’s warm!”

“That’s ‘cause you peed in it, Barton!” Natasha snarked. 

Tony smiled, grabbing Loki’s hand and walking over. For the first time ever he thought Maybe i’m not ugly? Maybe I'm not disgusting? Maybe i’m not a freak? Maybe I am special .

Chapter Text

Tony didn’t realize how hard it was going to be to conceal his secret when he invited the Avengers team to live with him.

With people being all over his house, someone’s eyes on him at all times, there was no time in the day he could walk around without his leg on- free. When it was just himself, Rhodey, and Pepper, he didn’t mind hopping around or using crutches or a chair, but there was no way he could let the team see him so vulnerable. He would be laughed at and ridiculed, or worse, be kicked off the team totally. He couldn’t risk it. 

The first week the team moved in, he was doing okay. He still was able to relax with Rhodey at the end of the night, his stump free and nestled between Rhodey’s warm legs. But after they had an Avengers call in the middle of the night and he was several minutes late due to the time it took to slide on his sock, sleeve, socket, joint, and appendage while still half asleep, he forced himself to even wear it to bed- Rhodey was not happy with that.  

After three weeks straight of wearing the prosthesis, he was starting to consider that something was wrong. His stump was constantly pulsing with hot throbbing pain below the prosthesis and recently he started experiencing hot flashes and he is almost always sweaty. It was taking all of his strength not to limp in front of the team. 

But one day, the pain became absolutely unbearable. 

He was walking to the kitchen to join the team for breakfast. Rhodey had woken him up, but he decided to stay in bed for a little longer, feeling sick and an incredibly sharp pain in his amputated leg. After an hour of groaning into the pillow he held over his face, he finally popped a few pain pills and decided to join the team. 

He knew he had to look bad because the conversation stopped as soon as he limped into the room. His head was a bit hazy and with every step he took pain shot down his leg and up his spine. He was hunched over from his back pain and tilted to the side from his leg pain and his steps were more like small shuffles since his stump screamed every time he put pressure on it. 

He didn’t even realize how unsteady he was until he felt his husband grab his upper arms. “Tones?” Rhodey asked, concerned. He sounded like he was underwater and Tony could only focus his hazy eyes on the worried lines in his husband’s face. 

Tony stumbled, trying to move past Rhodey. 

“No, but you’re hot. I think you have a fever,” Rhodey responded, holding Tony in place. “Why don’t you sit down?” 

“No- breakfast,” Tony slurred. As soon as he went to take a step, a knife felt like it was jabbed into his stump and his legs buckled. Rhodey caught him and helped him lower to the ground. Whimpers and groans escaped Tony’s mouth as he gripped Rhodey’s shirt in pain. “H-h-hurts,” he hiccuped. 

Rhodey was confused until he noticed Tony’s right leg twitching. He immediately started pulling at the genius’ sweatpants. 

Tony felt the pull and panicked, noticing the team gathering around them. “No. no. Rho-”

In a second, Tony’s prosthesis was exposed to the group. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the disgust on their face. 

“-the. Breathe, Tony. Deep breaths,” he heard Rhodey saying. He didn’t realize he was hyperventilating until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and was met with Natasha’s dark ones. She nodded at him meaningfully, exaggerating her breaths. Tony took comfort in the understanding in her eyes and was able to follow her example and slow his breathing. 

He didn’t notice Rhodey and Bruce fidgeting with his prosthesis until someone pulled slightly and pain shot through his body. His back arched and he cried out. “I’m sorry, Tones, but we gotta get this off,” Rhodey said sadly. 

“It’s swollen pretty badly,” Bruce said, examining the prosthesis. “We are going to have to get it off though, we can’t wait.”

Tony whimpered and he felt someone wipe the sweat off his forehead and neck with a towel. He looked up and saw Clint with the cloth in the hand. The man’s eyes were wide with surprise but Tony was shocked not to find the disgust he was sure he would find. 

“Steve, can you get a few ice packs?” Bruce called to Steve who was standing frozen in the kitchen. The supersoldier was pale and watching the scene silently. He quickly snapped out of his shock with Bruce’s request and quickly ran to the kitchen. 

Tony shouted as Bruce tugged again. “I’m sorry, i’m sorry,” the scientist said quickly. While they waited for the ice, Rhodey removed Tony’s joint and appendage. Tony whimpered with every touch and movement. 

Steve ran over with several ice packs. Rhodey and Bruce quickly grabbed them up and started pressing them around Tony’s thigh where his remaining limb met the prosthesis. Tony hissed as the cold touched his skin. Clint and Natasha grabbed his hands when they saw small marks on his palm from where his nails were squeezed into fists. 

After a few minutes of ice, Bruce and Rhodey decided to try to pull off the socket again. They counted down for Tony’s sake, but still the billionaire screamed as they tugged. It was hard to get it off with the stump so swollen as well as with Tony screaming in their ears, but finally they got it off. 

Rhodey forced back tears as he listened to Tony’s cries of pain. His husband’s face was bright red and covered in snot and tears. His eyes were squeezed tightly and he was sweating all over. Clint tried to wipe away the sweat with a towel but it only took seconds for Tony to be covered again. 

Tony choked on tears as Bruce peeled back the sock and sleeve. He only felt a small bit of relief when his stump was exposed and no longer shoved into his prosthesis, but he knew something was wrong by the gasps of Bruce and Rhodey. And if that wasn’t alarming enough, he heard Bruce whisper to Steve to call an ambulance. 

“W-w-wha’ appening?” Tony slurred. 

Rhodey turned his worried face towards him. “It’s infected, Tones.” Rhodey stared down at the swollen, bruised stump. Bruce had Steve get him a clean cloth in an attempt to clean it as they waited for the paramedics. As soon as Bruce touched the bright red skin with the cloth, Tony let out an inhumane scream, his back arching off the floor. They only had seconds to turn him over before Tony was throwing up from the pain. 

Rhodey left his spot by Tony’s legs and moved next to his husband’s head. He used Clint’s cloth to wipe off Tony’s mouth and he peppered kisses onto the genius’ pale wet cheeks. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. Just hold on, okay? It’s gonna feel better soon,” he rambled over Tony’s loud sobs. 

“Hurts so much, bear,” Tony rasped to his husband. “Don’ let em’ cut it off again. Don’ let em’.” Rhodey shushed him softly and Tony buried his face into Rhodey’s shirt until the paramedics arrived.

The Avengers watched as the paramedics loaded Tony onto a stretcher and took him to the hospital. There wasn’t enough room for Rhodey so he stayed behind, intending to follow them, but the team stopped him. “What just happened?” Natasha asked. 

“His leg got infected,” Rhodey huffed, gathering supplies to take to the hospital. 

“But...but when did he get it amputated? That wasn’t in his file,” Clint asked, head tilted. 

“When he was kidnapped by the Ten Rings. It wouldn’t have been in there because Tony edited those files and deleted the medical records.”

“Why didn’t he tell us?” Steve asked, staring at Rhodey with wide, sad eyes. 

“Because he’s Tony. He didn’t want you all to treat him differently, or think he was a liability to the team,” Rhodey said. “Now excuse me, I have to check on my husband.”

The door closed and the Avengers were left to stare in shock. 

Tony came back home a few weeks later. He was rolled into the common room in a wheelchair by Rhodey and had a blanket covering his legs. Even so, the team could see the distinct gap where his missing leg should have bulged under the blanket. 

“How’d it go?” Bruce asked. 

Tony pursed his lips and fiddled with his hands on his lap. When Rhodey realized his husband wasn’t going to answer, he sighed. “He’s fine. They cleared the infection before it could do any damage, but he’s not allowed to use his prosthesis for at least three months because his stump is still really sensitive.”

The team nodded and there was an awkward silence. “I’m sorry,” Steve spoke up. Tony looked up abruptly. “I’m sorry that you felt you couldn’t tell us.”

Tony sighed, closing his eyes for a brief second. “I trust you guys, I was just...scared.”

“Well you don’t have to be,” Natasha said. “This changes nothing.”

Tony looked up, seeing the team’s smiles and nods. He let out a huge tolling breath and smiled back. This changes nothing.

Chapter Text

Bucky laid next to Tony for two hours past their alarm clock. He was spooning his husband from the back, rubbing Tony’s large pregnant stomach, and peppering kisses to Tony’s neck while the man sobbed. 

Tony was seven months pregnant and the super soldier baby growing inside him was wreaking havoc on his body. This was the fourth time this week Tony woke up unable to move from the pain of the larger and stronger than normal baby inside him and Bucky felt incredibly helpless. 

Tony’s body trembled and Bucky pressed him closer to his chest. “I’m so sorry baby, i’m so sorry,” he whispered. Tony pressed his face into the pillow to muffle his sobs and squeezed Bucky’s arm that was around his stomach. “You want to try a warm bath, maybe?” Tony didn’t answer but Bucky knew he should try to get Tony moving. “Jarvis?”

“Already on it, sir,” Jarvis answered. Immediately the sound of the bath running was heard. Bucky nodded at the ceiling in thanks. He then sighed at the task at hand. 

“Tony, baby?” Bucky ran his fingers through Tony’s hair but the genius didn’t answer. Just before the supersoldier was considering giving up on his plan to get his husband up, the door opened and Natasha walked in. 

She ignored Bucky and immediately kneeled in front of Tony. “Bednyy kotenok,” she pouted. Bucky saw Tony’s head turn towards the assassin and his sobs quieted. 

“Hurts, Nat,” he whimpered, his voice raspy. 

“I know, I know,” she said, dabbing his eyes with a cloth. She pressed a kiss to his cheek when she finished. “Let's get you a warm bath and you’ll feel better, okay?”

Tony let out a sound that was a mix between a humm and a groan, but it wasn’t a protest exactly. Bucky sat up when he saw Natasha stand. 

The supersoldier and assassin both helped pull Tony up slowly while the genius shouted in pain. When they finally got him sitting on the edge of the bed, Tony braced his hands on his knees, eyes squeezed shut. Bucky rubbed his shoulders and Natasha rubbed his arm, both trying to give him strength. 

While they waited for Tony to get his bearings, they could see bulges in his belly while the baby kicked and punched. They would have thought it was cute if not for the whimpers of pain Tony let out every time. 

After several rounds of breathing, Tony nodded and inched forward to place his feet on the ground. He groaned as pressure was put on his red, swollen appendages. He couldn’t even see them with his belly so big.

Bucky moved off the bed and kneeled in front of Tony. “Do you want me to carry you, baby?”

Tony hiccuped, wiping a few tears from his eyes. “No, i-i can do i-it,” he said. Bucky frowned but nodded.

Natasha stood at Tony’s side while Bucky stood in front of his husband. On the count of three, they pulled Tony up so he was standing. Tony practically screamed as his whole body protested and as soon as he stood he leaned against Bucky to catch his breath. Natasha moved behind him to hold onto his waist when she noticed him swaying slightly. 

Every step across the room to the bathroom was torture. Tony couldn’t lift his feet so it was slow-going to watch him shuffle his swollen legs across the floor. He was hunched over from his back and hip pain and rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder from the migraine that was developing. 

Bucky forced his husband's head up when the man suddenly froze. Tony’s head drooped, as if he couldn’t hold it up and his eyes rolled around in his head. Bucky could only give Natasha a half-second warning before Tony’s legs gave out and he melted towards the floor. 

Bucky grabbed him tightly and lifted Tony’s limp body into his arms. Natasha rubbed his husband’s cheek, trying to wake him up. 

This was not the first time Tony had fainted throughout his pregnancy. The stress the supersoldier baby was putting on the genius’ body had it frequently giving out, especially so close to his due date. They had just banned Tony from stairs after he had a fainting episode and almost fell down them headfirst. 

When Tony didn’t wake up after a minute, Bucky carried him into the bathroom and got him ready for the bath while Natasha added Epsom salt to the water. Tony woke up as the pair were lowering him into the warm water and he groaned in pleasure as his limbs started to relax. Bucky slid into the bath behind him and fitted Tony between his legs. Natasha kneeled on the side of the tub with a washcloth. 

Tony had his head back against Bucky’s chest and his eyes closed. Natasha hummed as she gently washed Tony’s swollen legs. Bucky spent most of his time rubbing the soft cloth around Tony’s large belly, feeling the baby inside kicking against his hand. Bucky smiled as Tony snuggled his face into his neck. 

They sat there long after the water grew cold and Natasha left to bother Clint. Bucky pressed soft kisses onto Tony’s skin while rubbing a light hand over his husband’s swollen belly, enjoying his time with the two most important people in his life.

Tone was the one who got them out of the bath after complaining about his pruney fingers. It was a struggle getting him to stand from such a low point, but they eventually got Tony back into the bedroom in one piece. 

After getting dressed, his pain that had been temporarily dulled by the bath came crashing back. Tony’s hips throbbed and his lower back screamed with pain, not to mention the horrible cramps he was experiencing. 

Bucky laid with him on the bed for about an hour until it was time for his mandatory therapy session. He didn’t want to leave Tony alone so he pleaded with Tony to move to the common room. He got the man to agree, if only because the memory foam mattress was hurting his back from the softness. 

Bucky helped Tony put on his hip support brace the doctor had given him in hopes the pain would abate slightly and his favorite fuzzy socks. He then helped Tony on the slow walk to the common room couch. 

Steve was the only one present when they arrived, everyone bustling around the tower doing their own things. When Bucky told him of the situation, he was more than happy to help his best friend. 

Steve helped Tony get settled on the couch with a pillow between his legs and a heat pack pressed to his back. He put on a movie for he and Tony to watch just as Bucky kissed his husband and said his goodbyes. 

Steve settled on the end of the couch, putting Tony’s legs onto his lap. He started massaging the billionaire’s aching feet, prompting moans of pleasure from the man. It wasn’t until halfway through the movie Tony’s whimpers started growing in volume as the cramps became more painful. 

Steve panicked seeing the tears in Tony’s eyes. “What’s happening, Tony? How can I help?” He asked frantically. 

“H-h-hurts,” Tony sobbed, grabbing Steve’s arm in a tight grip. 

“Can I get you some medicine?” 

“C-can’t. Might h-hur-r-t b-baby,” Tony hiccuped, squeezing his eyes tightly. 

“May I suggest having sir change positions?” Jarvis spoke up. 

Steve nodded and his free hand hovered over Tony, unsure where to touch. He was saved by Tony slowly sitting up, groaning the whole way. “Let’s see if standing helps?” Steve suggested. After receiving Tony’s nod, he helped the man to his feet. 

Tony swayed but Steve held him steady. “Hnghh,” Tony groaned, relaxing all his body weight onto Steve. The pain in his back eased up a bit despite the cramps growing more painful by the minute. 

“Does this feel better?” Steve asked, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. 

Tony hummed trying to slow his breaths. Seconds later, the pair jumped as the bottom of their legs and socks grew wet. “Did you just pee on me?” Steve asked. 

“No.”

“Then what-”

“I have contacted Mr. Barnes-Stark and Ms. Romanoff. Mr. Rogers, please help sir downstairs into the awaiting vehicle. Mr. Barnes-Stark will meet you at the hospital,” Jarvis said. 

“But what-”

“Sir’s water has broken. He is in labor.”

Steve shouted as Tony passed out, his body growing heavier. Steve wasted no time in scooping Tony up and running towards the elevator. 

When they got into the car, Natasha was waiting for them with a packed bag, and Happy was sitting in the driver’s seat. He waited no time for them to strap in before he was zooming off towards the hospital. 

Tony felt himself being lowered onto something soft as people shouted in both his ears. He felt wheels rumble under whatever he was on and the shaking made him want to throw up. When he was able to clear the fog from his senses, he realized he was in an operating room. “Bucky?” He rasped, his eyes wandering around. 

“Calm down, sir. Your husband will be here shortly,” a doctor said from behind a blanket that cut off his view of his stomach. He couldn't see what was happening, but he felt a bit of pressure on his belly despite the numbness. 

“No, I need Bucky. Don’t touch me! Where’s my husband?” Tony shouted freaking out. He started wiggling as much as he could with his lower extremities numbed, and he could tell from the doctor’s anger he was disrupting something. 

“You need to stay still! Stop moving or we will sedate you!” The doctor said. 

Tony continued wiggling, tears in his eyes. “No I-I need Bucky. I can’t do this without him. I c-can’t!” Suddenly, a soft hand was placed on his cheek. He turned to see Natasha in scrubs standing next to him. 

“Calm down, kotenok. You’re gonna be fine, okay? Bucky is on his way,” she said softly. 

Tony hiccuped, tears still falling, but nodded and took comfort in her words. Natasha gave him a rare smile and rubbed his cheek. 

The doctors sighed gratefully when Tony’s body stilled and subtly increased the sedative that paralyzed him. 

Bucky burst into the operating room a few minutes later. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m here now,” Bucky said when he reached Tony’s side. 

“S’okay,” Tony said, pulling Bucky close to kiss him. They pulled apart quickly as a baby’s cries lit up the room. “Is the baby okay? What’s happening?”

Bucky looked around the curtain that was in front of Tony’s head and smiled wide. “He’s okay.”

Tony’s eyes watered. “He?” He said, barely audible. 

Bucky nodded, a tear coming to his eye. “I’m so proud of you baby.”

“What are you going to name him?” Natasha asked. 

Bucky and Tony looked at each other. “We picked a name that represents both of us, strength and intelligence,” Tony said. 

They were interrupted when the doctor came over with the baby, placing him on Tony’s chest. Bucky gathered close, letting the baby grab his finger with his tiny hand. “Welcome to the world baby Ethan.”

Chapter Text

Clint jumped at the loud noise of the alarm going off. He rolled over and shoved his face into the pillow. A few seconds later, he noticed the lack of movement on his other side. “Tonnyyyy,” he groaned. “Turn it offffffff.” Clint frowned at the quietness behind him. 

Clint shifted the covers, turning over to see why his boyfriend was still sleeping. “Tony?” He asked, concerned when the genius didn’t move. Tony was facing away from him so Clint got out of the bed and moved to the other side. 

Clint was not prepared to see Tony staring at the wall with wide eyes and his mouth parted, silently choking. “Tony!” Clint shouted. “What’s happening, baby?”

Tony’s body didn’t move. He laid limp, staring into the corner of the room. Clint followed his gaze but saw empty space. 

Tony, on the other hand, stared in fright as Obie glared at him, holding the sonic taser tight in his hand. His body was held frozen under the device’s control and he was forced to stare into Obie’s smirking face, motionless. 

Clint was panicking, unsure what to do. He wasn’t sure if Tony was in the midst of a nightmare because he seemed unresponsive but his eyes were open. Clint was adverse to touching him because Tony always had violent reactions when awoken from a nightmare. 

“Tony, listen to me, baby. You need to take a deep breath okay? Breathe in and out. Expand your chest, then let out the air slowly,” Clint instructed loudly. 

At first, Tony showed no acknowledgement that he heard Clint. It took several moments where Tony’s face was turning blue until the man started reacting to Clint’s words. Shakily, he let out his breath and tried to expand and contract his chest. His breaths were more like gasps, but Clint was relieved to see his chest move slightly with air. 

Even with this new progress, Tony’s eyes did not stray from the corner of the room. His body trembled unconsciously but besides that, Tony didn’t so much as twitch his fingers. Clint was confused but also scared. “J-Jarvis? Can you get Bruce please?”

“Of course, Mr. Barton,” Jarvis said. “Besides a slightly elevated heart rate, sir’s vitals are stable,” he added.

“I don’t know what's wrong with him then,” Clint sighed, rubbing hands through his hair. 

Tony vaguely heard the door open but he couldn’t remove his eyes from Obadiah’s snarl. There was nothing he could do besides stare at the little device in Obie’s hand and hope someone, anyone would stop the man. 

“-ony?” Tony’s heart rate picked up as a hand landed on his shoulder and a voice broke through the fog in his mind. “Tony?”

The voice became clearer, but Tony was afraid to break away from Obie. Suddenly, Bruce appeared in his field of vision. “Tony, can you hear me?”

Tony’s eyes widened slightly and Bruce took that as a good sign. Bruce rubbed the genius’ shoulder gently. “Do you feel me, Tones?” Tony didn’t respond but the scientist noticed his eyes shifting around the room, looking for something. “Clint?” Bruce said as gestured the man forward. 

Clint stepped in front of Tony and finally the man’s eyes focused on him. “Hey, baby.” Clint watched Tony cling to his face like a life-line. 

“I think it’s sleep paralysis,” Bruce said to him softly. 

Clint nodded in realization. “Listen to me, baby. Try to move your fingers.” Tony’s eyes flickered to the wall behind them incredulously. “You can do it, Tones.” 

Tony’s breathing picked up slightly but after a few seconds, they saw his fingers start to twitch. The genius’ eyes widened in surprise. They again flickered to the wall behind them in confusion before landing back on Clint. “Good job, baby, now try your toes.”

Slowly, Tony gained control over his body and the first thing he did was launch himself into Clint’s arms, crying. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” Clint soothed. Bruce rubbed Tony’s shoulder in support. 

“Was so scary,” Tony cried and Clint hugged him tighter. 

“I know, but you’re okay. I’m right here and i’m not going to let anything hurt you.”

Chapter Text

It was Clint’s idea to challenge the man to a real, live tennis game when Tony had beaten him three times in a row in Wii Sports. The compound had a tennis court outside, which was rarely used because...well, it’s tennis . But Clint had found some rackets and invited the man outside. 

Neither one of them were good at the game since playing outside meant you actually had to move instead of standing in place while swinging a controller. Tony was slightly worse than Clint at the game since his heart condition made it harder to jump high and run as fast as he’d like. 

But they ended up playing for several hours, and Clint didn’t come to regret it until he hit the ball so hard that it bounced around the sides of court before landing in the far corner on Tony’s side. That wouldn’t have been a problem, either, if there wasn’t a huge bee hive that the ball had disturbed and was right below where Tony was fetching the ball. 

It took Clint a few seconds to recognize the hidden hive that was slowly pouring with bees, but Tony who was simultaneously focusing on the ball on the ground as well as unfamiliar with the shape of hives having grown up in the city, didn’t realize what was happening until he was getting assaulted with bees. Clint barely had a second to yell out before the bees dropped out of the hive and started stinging Tony. 

The billionaire dropped the ball and screamed in pain as the bees swarmed and stung him. Again, in his unfamiliarity with nature, he started swatting the bees to get them to go away, making them angrier. 

“Stop moving, Tony!” Clint screamed. When he saw that the genius wasn’t taking his advice, he ran to the other side of the court and started tugging Tony out of the swarm. It took a minute, but finally he was able to drag Tony to the other side of the court, away from the bees, where the man collapsed on his back, panting. 

Clint collapsed next to him, staring up at the sky. It took a few seconds, but Clint quickly sat up when he heard a mix between a gasp, choke, and wheeze. He turned to see Tony’s red face and swollen hands that scratched at his neck as he gasped for air. “Fuck!” Clint shouted, moving to kneel over the man. “Tony, Tony, what should I do?”

Tony’s eyes were glassed over and frantic. “Rho-Rho,” he wheezed. It took a second for Clint to understand the soft, slurred words, but as soon as he did, he ran to the building, sticking his head through the door and screaming at Jarvis. 

Clint ran back to where Tony was laying on the hot court, fidgeting in panic. He was sweating profusely and Clint didn’t know if it was from the stings or from the heat of the day. “Calm down, Tones, try to steady your breathing,” Clint said, eyes wide. 

When Tony didn’t react, Clint grabbed his shoulders and forced their eyes to lock. Clint took exaggerated breaths and slowly Tony’s breathing calmed down slightly, though a wheeze still was evident. There was a millisecond of Tony’s face turning green before he started vomiting. He choked before Clint turned him onto his side. 

Mid-vomit, Rhodey’s feet were heard pounding on the ground before he was kneeling over Tony, hands hovering. “Rho,” Tony cried, choking on his vomit. 

“I’m here, baby, I'm here,” Rhodey said, putting Tony’s head onto his lap. He stabbed an Epipen into Tony’s thigh but Clint didn’t notice any difference as the medicine traveled through Tony’s body. It was obvious Rhodey was in military-mode by the focused way he checked the genius’ vitals. When Tony was finished vomiting, Rhodey opened his mouth and noticed the way his tongue was swelling. “Jarvis, what’s the ETA on the ambulance?” Rhodey asked his watch.

“They are three minutes out,” Bruce said, running towards them. Before the scientist reached them, Tony started seizing. 

“Fuck,” Rhodey huffed. He cushioned Tony’s head and started a timer on his watch. Bruce kneeled next to them and winced every time Tony’s limbs smacked the hard ground.

Clint handed Rhodey a towel and he used it to wipe the billionaire’s frothing mouth. Bruce examined Tony’s swelling hives. “Epi-pen?”

Rhodey shook his head, “Too far gone.”

Bruce looked to Clint, who was staring at Tony’s spasming figure in shock. “What happened?”

Clint focused his gaze on Bruce and pointed to the corner of the court where several bees were still swarming the shaking hive. “They j-just swarmed him,” Clint relayed. 

Rhodey nodded wearily. “He’s never been stung- he must be allergic.” Finally, Tony’s twitching body started to calm and soon it was just his hand that quivered every few seconds. “Tones, can you hear me?” 

Tony didn’t respond, his eyes didn’t even flicker. Rhodey ran a finger along the billionaire’s swollen cheek. “Come on, Tones,” he said wearily. 

Suddenly, a herd of paramedics came running over and shoved them out the way. Rhodey watched them tend to his husband in fright as the adrenaline wore off. “He’s not breathing,” he heard one of them mutter. Bruce and Clint held Rhodey back as the man fought to run over. 

“Let them work, okay?” Bruce said softly. Rhodey huffed, but he still bounced on his toes anxiously. They watched the medical professionals shove tubes and attach wires all over Tony’s body and in minutes, they had the man packed up in an ambulance and driving away to the hospital. 

The trio stood in shock for several minutes. “I’m so sorry,” Clint whispered. “I was the one that convinced him to play outside with me.”

“Don’t,” Rhodey said firmly. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know about the bees or his allergies, so don’t apologize.” 

Clint sniffed and nodded slightly, still feeling guilty. 

Rhodey spent a week straight in the hospital with Tony, who spent a majority of the week with a tube up his lungs and IVs covering his arms. They were able to get him breathing in the ambulance but they continued to intubate him for several days due to his reduced lung capacity. 

After a week, Tony arrived back at the compound with a brand new medical alert bracelet and a refill of albuterol for his inhaler. Clint practically clung to his side, apologizing over and over until Tony smacked him with a magazine and told him to stop blaming himself.

Chapter Text

Tony wasn’t born with scoliosis, it was a result of years of being hunched over desks, workshop tables, and being in the Iron Man suit that caused his spine to curve. It was after weeks of constant back pain and the observation of his abnormal posture that Sam dragged him to the doctor to get an evaluation. 

In two weeks time, he was diagnosed with scoliosis, given a back brace, and scheduled for weekly physical therapy sessions. Even so, he did not inform any of the Avengers living with him. 

Sam did not support his wish to keep his medical business in secret from the team, but he was a very private person and did not want to be seen as a liability in any way. 

It wasn’t until the team planned a trip to the Six Flags amusement park that he regretted not telling them. 

The group decided to take a large van so that they could all ride together. Tony and Sam had tried to convince them an RV, or even a limo-truck would have been better, but no one cared about the extra space. 

The car ride was about two hours long, and 30 minutes into it, Tony was already feeling horrible. Every bump on the road, every turn, even just the trumble of the tires jostled his back causing pain to shoot up his spine. The van was just a bunch of rows so there was no place for him to stretch or move around, which made him far from comfortable. 

Sam tried to help by subtly sneaking him tylenol and rubbing his temples when his headache grew bad, but nothing was working. 

An hour into it, Tony was resting against Sam's chest weakly, and whimpering softly at every bump. The car ride was loud with conversation so no one noticed the pain Tony was in or saw the concern in Sam’s eyes. Finally, when a tear rolled down Tony’s face, Sam couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Can we pull over?” He shouted up to the front. 

Natasha turned down the music and looked at Sam through the mirror. “We’re almost there, can’t you wait to use the bathroom?” 

“No, I really need to go. I think there’s a rest stop coming up, can we stop there?” He asked. 

“Uh, I wouldn’t mind a bathroom break either?” Scott spoke up. 

“And a snack!” Clint said. 

“Fine,” Natasha sighed, changing the GPS. 

When they reached the rest stop, everyone jumped out the car quickly seeing that the place had McDonalds and a Cinnabon. 

Sam waited until they were all out before talking to his boyfriend. “Are you ready to get out? You should try walking a little.” Tony took in a shaky breath and nodded, wincing as the motion angered his migraine.  

Sam slid open the van door and climbed out. He reached back inside to unbuckle Tony’s seatbelt. The genius groaned as he shifted his body to the side to face the door. Sam leaned forward, bracing Tony’s body against his. Once his boyfriend’s head was over his shoulder and he had an arm wrapped around his waist, Sam dragged Tony as gently as possible out the van. 

Tony muffled his shout of pain into Sam’s shirt and pressed his face into his boyfriend’s neck. Tony vaguely heard the van door close behind him as he worked on getting his legs to hold his weight as pain from his spine shot down them. 

Sam shushed him as they stood in the parking lot, waiting for Tony’s pain to eb away enough so that he could walk. Sam ran fingers through his hair pressed kisses to his cheeks. 

Suddenly, the man realized something. “Where’s your brace?” Sam asked. 

Tony sighed, knowing he was caught. “In the trunk.”

“Tones,” Sam said, disappointed. 

“Don’t want them to see,” Tony muttered into Sam’s shoulder. 

Sam sighed. “If you put it on, i’ll give you my hoodie so that no one can tell.”

Tony thought it over- he didn’t like wearing his brace, but he really really liked Sam’s hoodie. “Fine.”

Sam nodded, and pulled away. He kept his hands on Tony’s waist and helped the man walk to the back of the van. Sam opened the trunk, and lifted Tony so he sat inside. He helped the genius remove his shirt, knowing he wasn’t able to raise his arms above his head on bad days like this, and snapped Tony’s back brace around him. 

Tony noticeably relaxed with the back brace supporting him. Tony closed his eyes, taking deep breaths as his shirt was placed back on and a hoodie was slid over his head. “Better?” Sam asked. Tony nodded and was helped out of the trunk. 

He was noticeably steadier as they walked to the bathroom, but he still walked a but slower and stiffer. 

Tony was quiet the rest of the way to the amusement park, cuddled in Sam’s arms as everyone else munched on their snacks. 

They arrived a bit later than expected with the stop, but tickets didn’t have a specified time to arrive on them. 

Sam spent the whole walk to the entrance trying to convince Tony to use one of those electric wheelchair things that the park allowed guests to rent, but Tony adamantly refused knowing he’d be all over the magazines if someone caught a photo of him in it. 

The team all gathered by the water fountain in the park and planned out the order of rides they wanted to get on. Steve, Tony, and Sam had never been on a roller coaster, so the team decided to check out the Batman ride first. Bruce had also never been on a rollercoaster but he decided to stay and sit with the belongings at the exit to make sure the Hulk wouldn’t make an appearance.

Steve was not very excited to get on the roller coaster, whereas Tony was pumped. “It’ll be just like flying,” Tony said the nervous Captain. 

“I don’t like flying,” Steve said, eyes narrowed. “I prefer to have my feet on the ground if I can help it.”

But when they got off the ride, Tony was the only one who definitely did not have fun. Again, the bad pain day made the jostling hurt way more than usual and the upside down part of the coaster had him seeing stars. Sam had to help him walk down the ramp to get off the ride and he winced with every step. 

The team saw his grimace when they gathered together. “Didn’t like the ride, Tony?” Clint smirked.

“It was...nice,” Tony said. He didn’t know if he should say that he didn’t like it so he wouldn’t be forced to get on any more, or say that he did so that he didn’t get seen as a coward. 

If his back wasn’t hurting he probably would have enjoyed the ride. Being in the air was his favorite thing he just wasn’t used to being so restrained like on the ride. His back would have been broken a long time ago if the iron man suit was as constrained as the Batman ride. He could barely breathe with all the buckles and padded bars holding him down. 

“What a wuss,” Scott laughed, high-fiving Clint. 

Tony glared but stayed silent. Sam pulled him close, levelling his own disappointed glare at Clint.

They forced him onto two more roller coasters before it was time for a snack break. Tony was dead tired by the time they walked to the snack stand. His head was spinning and his back was spasming while the group ordered. 

Tony fumbled in his pocket for his card to pay for the group’s food but his shaking hands sent his whole wallet to the floor. The group stared in confusion as Tony stared blankly at the ground, not making a move to pick it up. Tony knew if he bent down he would literally not be getting up. 

“The laziness,” Clint sang. A few of them chuckled and Tony’s cheeks blushed in embarrassment. 

Sam, who was at the stand ordering, turned at Clint’s words. The man cursed and walked over to pick up his boyfriend’s wallet from the ground. The action only made Clint roll his eyes. “Whipped,” he scoffed at Sam. 

Steve shot them his disappointed face. “Tony, Sam should not have to wait on you hand and foot.”

Something in Tony’s chest panged. He knew he was a burden to Sam, but hearing the words out loud made him want to cry. He looked up into Sam’s eyes. “Sorry,” he whispered. 

Sam pulled him close, “Tony-” Before he could finish, the genius broke out of his arms and stumbled away. “Tony!” Tony didn’t turn around, the pain visible in his gait. 

Sam turned around, a furious look on his face. “Don’t ever comment on our relationship- it’s between me and him, stay out of it.”

“But the team-”

“Fuck the team. What happens between me and Tony has nothing to do with the team,” Sam snarled. Sam gave them one more glare before turning around to walk after Tony. 

Sam caught up with the genius who had made it pretty far before he was forced to collapse on a park bench. Sam could see the pain in his tense face and the way his knuckles were white from squeezing the bench. 

Sam sat down slowly and pulled Tony’s head to his chest. He felt the tears dampening his shirt. “Sorry,” Tony whispered. 

“Don’t apologize for anything. I love you so much, baby. So much,” Sam said softly. 

His shirt got damper and he felt Tony squeeze his shirt in his fist. “It hurts,” he whimpered. 

“What kind of pain, Tones?” Sam asked, moving his hand farther away from Tony’s lower back where he knew most of the pain originated. 

“Spasms,” Tony gasped. 

Sam cursed internally. Spasms were incredibly painful to experience, often rendering Tony unable to move because they hurt so bad. 

Sam looked around trying to find a map. He didn’t know which was closer, the park’s medical center or the car. Sam felt Tony’s hot forehead and realized Tony was still wearing his sweatshirt in this hot weather. He tried to lift the hoodie off his boyfriend, but Tony started to whine. “Baby, I have to take it off or you’re gonna overheat.”

Tony whined, holding his hoodie down. Sam sighed, closing his eyes in frustration. He didn’t think he’d be able to carry Tony all the way to the car, but if the man sat in the hot sun for much longer, he would get sick. 

In the middle of his panic, shoes appeared in his vision and he looked up to see Steve staring at them guiltily. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t have judged,” Steve said. 

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have called you lazy, Tony. You do a lot for us. In fact I should be at your beck and call,” Clint chuckled awkwardly, rubbing his neck. 

Tony sniffed and nodded his thanks. His eyes met Sam’s who looked at him meaningfully. “Tell them,” his boyfriend whispered. 

Tony gulped and turned towards the team. “I have sc-scoliosis. Which means sometimes…”

“Sometimes he needs help doing things,” Sam said. “He wasn’t being lazy, he was- is in pain.” 

It wasn’t much of an explanation, but now wasn’t the time. Even so, the group nodded, looking even more guilty if possible. 

“We are going to go back home, but you guys can stay and we’ll just call a cab-”

“No, we’re ready to go too,” Steve said, and the rest nodded. 

Sam looked at Tony, “he’s not feeling very well.”

Bruce moved forward and kneeled in front of Tony. He checked his vitals and put a hand on his forehead. “You should take this hoodie off, Tones.”

Tony shared a look with Sam before giving in and nodding. Tony winced as Bruce and Sam helped him lift the hoodie over his head. He looked up, surprised, when no one gasped at his back brace. The group stared, but no one looked angry or disgusted, merely curious. Tony let out a breath. 

When Tony tried painfully to stand, Steve stepped forward and lifted him bridal style. Sam helped arrange Steve’s arms so that there was no pressure on his lower back. He could still feel the spasms of pain at every step, but he bit his lip, trying to hold in whimpers. 

The car ride was much quieter as Sam’s gentle fingers applied light pressure to Tony’s back and the man tried to go to sleep. Everyone in the group sent them concerned glances throughout the whole ride. 

The rest of the day the group spent time in the common room, watching movies with Sam and Tony. Clint made hot water bottles, Bruce kept an eye on Tony’s vitals, and Scott fluffed Tony’s pillows every few minutes. Tony rolled his eyes at the mothering, but secretly he was grateful his team was so caring.

Chapter Text

Tony did not like baseball, but Bucky did, so he was more than happy to go to the game with his boyfriend. In a New York Yankees t-shirt and hat, they both were very unrecognizable, which was another plus to attending the game in Tony’s book. 

An hour in however, Tony was not so happy with his decision to attend. He was getting insanely hot under the heat of the sun and didn’t know where the food stand was since Bucky had been the one to get their food and drinks earlier and didn’t want to get lost in the huge stadium. 

Tony took off his hat to fan himself. “How long is the game, Buck?” He asked his boyfriend, who was staring intensely at the field. 

Bucky hummed in thought, “Most games are typically 2 to 3 hours.” Tony’s eyes widened but he held in a groan. “Why, bored already?” Bucky smirked and put his arm around Tony. 

Tony sighed, leaning his head on Bucky’s shoulder. “No, I just don’t feel too good.”

“It’s probably because it’s so hot out.” Bucky took the hat from Tony’s hand and put it back on his head. He then took his own off to fan Tony. 

“Thanks, baby,” Tony muttered, closing his eyes a bit. His head was starting to pound and the sweat had his shirt clinging to his skin uncomfortably. 

Bucky kept rubbing his arm and Tony used it to ground him as his headache slowly tried to turn into a migraine. When Tony felt that familiar feeling of floating, he sat up suddenly, reaching in his bag for his medicine. He pulled out the bottle but his hands were shaking too much to open the cap. “B-Bucky?” Tony whispered, his head hurting too much to raise his voice any higher. 

Bucky looked over but couldn’t hear Tony over the shouting of the game. Tony lifted his hand gesturing to the bottle so he took it from his shaking boyfriend. “Everything okay, doll?” He asked, concerned. 

Tony shook his head, leaning back onto Bucky. Bucky could feel the worry swirling in his stomach, but he focused on the pill bottle. When Tony didn’t respond after he opened it, he rubbed a light finger onto Tony’s lip to get him to open up. 

Tony swallowed the pill, opening his eyes in narrow slits and looked around confused as if he wasn’t completely sure of where he was. Bucky grew more concerned and pulled Tony closer. “Water?” Tony rasped. 

Bucky leaned forward to grab the cup from the holder and brought the straw between Tony’s lips. Bucky frowned when half of Tony’s face seemed to sag, unmoving. The moving half of Tony’s lips grasped awkwardly at the straw. When Bucky noticed Tony’s eye twitching he understood what was happening. 

Bucky put the cup back in the cupholder and put the chips that sat on his lap onto the ground. He pulled his boyfriend closer and tried to make him as comfortable as possible in the small stadium seats. He could no longer focus on the game, and instead focused on Tony’s eyes that were growing glassier by the second. 

“Bu’y,” Tony slurred, sitting up. 

Bucky helped lower him back down onto his shoulder. “I’m right here, doll. You’re okay.”

Tony’s eyes closed and his jaw started clicking. Bucky moved a piece of hair from his face and tucked it back under his hat. “Breathe, baby.”

Suddenly, Tony turned his face into Bucky’s chest and his body tensed. Bucky held his watch out, watching the time as Tony seized. His whole face was active- eyes blinking, nose scrunching, and mouth twisting. His neck twitched, the veins visible, and his hand beat weakly against Bucky’s chest. “Relax, doll,” Bucky repeated.

The crowd shouted wildly at the game, but Bucky could only focus on his seizing boyfriend. He wiped a bit of foam and drool that escaped from Tony’s mouth and held him closer as he started to twist out of the seat. “You’re okay, Tones. You’re okay, relax.”

About a minute later, Tony’s body started to relax until it was just his mouth that was twitching and his arm occasionally hitting Bucky’s chest. Bucky massaged circles into the appendage as he whispered softly into Tony’s ear over the loud game. “That’s it doll, you’re okay. Relax, Tones, I'm right here.”

It took another fifteen minutes until Tony was able to move his head from the crook of Bucky’s neck. He blinked slowly and his body was still limp, but he watched the game with slow-moving eyes as his body fought to awareness. 

“Do you want to leave, baby?” Bucky asked softly. Tony hummed and tried to shake his head. “Okay then, just rest for a bit.” Tony nodded and settled on his boyfriend's chest. 

A half hour after the seizure, Tony was feeling more like himself and was able to sit up. Bucky waited for the guy to come around and bought some snacks and another drink for Tony. After some time, Tony was more alert. “Who’s winning?” Tony asked when his mouth was able to work right. 

“I’m not sure,” Bucky frowned, looking at the score. The last thing he’d thought about was the game. “Yankees I think.”

Tony nodded and curled further into Bucky’s side, chewing on a few pretzles. He stayed like that for the rest of the game and was pretty quiet in the car. Bucky knew Tony usually took a big nap after his seizures so the billionaire was probably ready to crash. As soon as they got into the car, Happy had seen the deep exhaustion in Tony’s features and had pieced together what had happened. 

When the car was parked in the underground garage and they stepped out, Bucky had been too focused on grabbing their bags from the game to notice Tony’s slow movements. Happy ran to Tony’s side just in time to lower him to the ground as the genius started blinking rapidly. 

Happy called him over to where he was helping Tony lean against the wall. Bucky ran over and kneeled in front of Tony. Happy had two hands holding the genius up as his body started to fold. 

“Tones?” Bucky asked, watching Tony’s glassy eyes that continued to stare at nothing. Drool was continuously falling from Tony’s lips and the genius’ sunglasses were slowly sliding from his nose. Bucky pulled them off and dabbed at the drool. 

Bucky saw Tony’s eyes flicker slightly, but he was still unresponsive. “Tones?” He called again softly. He looked at Happy, “Let’s lay him down.” Bucky and Happy slowly lowered the smaller man so that he was laying flat and put him on his side in recovery position. Tony groaned and his eyes blinked as he slowly came to awareness. 

“Hey, Tones,” Happy said gently, rubbing his friend’s arm. Tony blinked a few more times and they watched him try to focus his eyes on Happy’s face. “You know you can’t sleep here,” he smiled. 

Tony groaned again and his body started moving. Bucky helped the sleepy genius sit up. “We’ll get you to bed, alright? Then you can sleep,” he said. 

Tony wiped at his nose before patting his face in confusion. “I have your sunglasses, doll,” Bucky said. As if he didn’t hear him, Tony continued weakly patting his pockets and looking around. “Tones, baby, I have your sunglasses right here, see?” Bucky held them up and still Tony continued to pat around. 

Bucky sighed while Happy chuckled. “Lets get inside, Tony,” he said louder. He stood and started pulling on his boyfriend’s arm. Finally, Tony pulled himself up and leaned on Bucky to make his way inside. Happy followed behind with their bags. 

The Avengers were all lounging in the common room when they got back. They looked up at the group’s arrival but simply waved at the look Bucky gave them. Tony didn’t even notice as he worked on dragging his feet and not falling asleep on the spot. 

Happy lingered after the couple made their way into the bedroom and spoke to Rhodey. “Seizure?” The darker man asked. 

“Two, I believed,” Happy grimaced. 

Rhodey sighed and took the bags from Happy. “Thanks, Hap.” Happy nodded, waving to the rest of the group and left. Rhodey set the bags down on the table, seeing some of them had hot dogs and hamburgers for the team, and made his way to the bedroom. 

He found Tony sitting on the edge of the bed, staring tiredly at the floor. The bathroom door was closed, so he figured Bucky was inside. The billionaire looked up when Rhodey entered the room. “Hey, Tones,” Rhodey smiled. 

“Honey-bear,” Tony smiled back, running a hand through his messy hair. 

“How was the game?” Rhodey kneeled down in front of Tony and started unlacing the billionaire’s shoes. 

“Boring, but I think Bucky liked it.” Tony’s shaking hands worked on removing his watch. 

Rhodey frowned at the shaking. “I heard you had two seizures?” 

Tony huffed but nodded. 

“Did you remember to take your medicine?” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Yes Rhodey, I remembered to take the same pills I have been taking every morning since I was 10.”

Rhodey held his hands up in surrender. “Just worried about you, man.”

Tony sighed, guilty. “Well don’t be. I’m a grown man, platypus.” 

“You’ll always be my little brother,” Rhodey smirked, pulling lightly on Tony’s hair. Tony ducked away, reaching out to hit Rhodey before he suddenly froze. 

His hand, frozen in mid-air slowly fell to his lap and his face smoothed out, going blank. Rhodey put a hand on Tony’s cheek as the man grunted. “Tones?” The billionaire’s eyes grew glassy and he stared past Rhodey at the wall. He groaned, mouth falling open.

As his upper body started to sway, Rhodey helped him lay down. “You’re okay, Tones, relax,” he said softly, guiding the man to the bed. He vaguely heard the bathroom door open but was focused on his friend. Rhodey sat on the edge of the bed, his hand still rubbing Tony’s cheek gently. 

Suddenly, Tony’s face started twitching. His mouth twisted, his eyes blinked, and his neck bulged. “It’s okay, Tony.” The small man’s arm moved, clenching and unclenching quickly. 

Bucky approached, frowning at the grunts Tony let out. He stood in front of the pair and used a towel to remove the drool from Tony’s cheek and shirt. He noticed a growing wet stain on the front of Tony’s pants. 

As quickly as the seizure started, it was over and Tony blinked to awareness, quicker than earlier. He whimpered and curled into the pillow. Bucky put his hand on Tony’s forehead, checking for a fever. He was growing more concerned at this being the third seizure of the day. Tony had epilepsy, but he hadn’t had more than one seizure in a day in months. 

Bucky found no fever, and Tony seemed to be okay. While the billionaire dozed, Bucky and Rhodey worked on changing Tony. Bucky pulled off his boyfriend’s pants and soaked underwear while Rhodey rummaged through the drawers for pajamas and new boxers. 

Together they helped slide the clothes onto an exhausted Tony before dimming the lights. They had Jarvis keep an eye on Tony while they met the team in the common room. 

“Is it true, he had two seizures today?” Bruce asked as soon as they entered. Everyone looked up at them, worried. 

“Three, now,” Bucky sighed. “I should call his doctor.” Bucky pulled out his phone and moved toward the kitchen. 

“He okay?” Steve asked Rhodey when the man sat down. 

“He’s resting now, it was just his normal absence one,” Rhodey said. “I think Bucky’s just concerned because he had more than usual. But I’m hoping it was just because of the heat of the game or stress.”

Steve nodded just as Bucky came back out. 

“She said he should be fine, but just monitor him. She is working at the clinic right now, but if he has another one, or shows any sign of status epilepticus, then to call her back or call an ambulance- well in reverse order if it's the latter,” Bucky reported.

The team nodded. Bucky started to walk towards the bedroom but was stopped by Steve. “Bucky, I know you have to be tired. We’ll take turns watching Tony, you relax for a bit,” the super soldier said, leading his oldest friend towards the couch. 

Bucky hesitated, but finally sat down with a sigh. He gave Steve a grateful smile as the soldier made his way to the bedroom. Natasha moved towards him and pulled his legs onto the couch so that he was reclined and then placed his legs onto her lap. Clint turned on a movie and Bucky let it fade in the background of his mind as he was pulled into sleep from the day’s emotions. 

He awoke (he doesn’t know how much later) by Clint who was shoving him in the arm frantically. “It’s Tony,” the archer said, panic in his eyes. That was all it took for Bucky to wake up completely and run full speed towards the bedroom. 

Rhodey and Steve were surrounding the bed while Natasha was in the corner on the phone. Steve looked up as Bucky approached but Rhodey kept his eyes on the figure in the bed. 

Tony was in the middle of a grand mal seizure. His arms were crossed and jerking while his legs kicked out and his face was twisted toward the pillow. Every inch of Tony was moving in some way, almost rhythmically. Tony was letting out painful sounding grunts and foam and drool wouldn’t stop spewing from his mouth. “Time?” Bucky choked out. 

“Going on five minutes now. This is his second one back to back,” Rhodey said, his voice full of tension. 

Bucky kneeled by Tony’s head on the bed and placed a gentle hand on the billionaire’s cheek. “Hey doll, you’re okay,” he whispered. “I need you to calm down for me, baby.” Bucky used the towel by the bed to wipe some drool away but it wouldn’t stop. Tony moaned and Bucky prayed that Tony was not awake to feel the pain of the seizure. Tony typically is unconscious during them, but once in a while he retains consciousness, though he can’t talk, and he said the pain is absolutely horrible. 

Bucky’s heart slowed down slightly when he saw Tony’s body starting to relax. Loud whimpers erupted from Tony’s mouth as his limbs fell to the sheets. His eyes slowly opened, though they were extremely glassy. “Tony? Tony?” Bucky called. The billionaire made no move that he had heard Bucky and his body was still besides for one of his hands that continued to clench and unclench. 

Bucky pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend's cheek and went to rub his arm, when suddenly, Tony’s body tensed up and started shaking. Tony let out choking noises and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Again, the twitching started up. His body spasmed and flexed, and his neck twisted uncomfortably. “What’s the ETA on that ambulance?” Bucky asked the room. 

“2 Minutes,” Natasha provided, staring at the bed solemnly. 

When Tony started gasping for air, Bucky’s eyes widened and he searched for Bruce who was in the corner, trying to stay calm. “He needs oxygen,” Bucky said. Bruce nodded and raced out the room. 

Bruce came back into the room a half second later and placed an oxygen mask over Tony’s mouth and nose. When Tony continued to gasp, Bruce shifted the billionaire’s head from where it was flexed unnaturally into the pillow and the gasping stopped as his airway became clearer. 

Tony’s limbs completely extended, tensed up tight, and his body trembled. Rhodey and Steve helped hold him onto his side while Bucky wiped the foam away and spoke to him. “It’s okay, Tones. You’re doing great, just relax, baby.”

Tony was still seizing as the paramedics came into the room. Bucky rattled off Tony’s current medical records while Rhodey reported his past ones. As Tony calmed down from the latest seizure, they quickly strapped him onto the stretcher and brought him to the ambulance. As soon as he was inside they hooked him up to a bunch of tubes and wires, including an IV of anticonvulsants. 

Tony’s doctor, Dr. Karly, met them at the hospital. The hospital had not allowed Tony’s team into his room, but as soon as Dr. Karly arrived, she gestured them in- glaring at any of the staff who tried to stop her. 

As soon as Bucky entered the room, he ran to Tony’s side, happy to see that to see his boyfriend was no longer seizing, and pressed kisses to his cheeks. 

Tony had what looked like a thousand wires attached to his head covered in a white knit cap. One of the wires peaked out of the cap and went down to Tony’s cheek. It was crossed by an oxygen cannula that snaked under Tony’s nose. 

At Bucky’s kisses, Tony slowly became aware- his eyes opening in small slits and his fists clenching. He reached up to the oxygen cannula which tickled his nose and yanked at it. “Bu’y?” he slurred. 

“I’m here, Tones.” Bucky pulled Tony’s hand away from the cannula that was now bent. 

Dr. Karly huffed and walked over, replacing the oxygen cannula with a new one. She used pink tape to tape it onto Tony’s cheeks. “You’ve broken over twenty of these since I've known you, Tony. No more!” 

Tony used what little coordination he had to pout and rub at it half-heartedly. “Don’ like it.” The team chuckled and Tony turned his slightly glossy eyes towards the group, just noticing them. He gave them a weak wave.

Dr. Karly pulled out her chart. “We’ve done a few tests and are just waiting for the results to come in to let us know what brought you into status epilepticus. In the meantime, we have you on Lorazepam and Diazepam which seems to be working.”

“When can I get out of here?” Tony groaned dramatically. 

Dr. Karly’s lips flattened, used to Tony’s games. “As soon as the tests come in and we find out what caused the episode, you can go. So hope that it’s something simple.”

Tony gave her lopsided smile and tried to cross his fingers. With his limbs still lagged from the seizures, he couldn’t get his fingers to cross and ended up giving her a weak peace sign. Dr. Karly rolled her eyes and started walking out. “Get some sleep, Mr. Stark.”

When the door closed, the Avengers were silent until Tony’s head jumped up. “Hey Bird-Brain, can you go down to the cafeteria and buy all the muffins?” 

Clint’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. “All the muffins?”

“All the muffins,” Tony smirked. Suddenly he started patting around, looking confused. “Where’s my wallet?” He looked down at his hospital gown, shocked. “Where’s my clothes?”

Bucky rolled his eyes and reached for the bag filled with Tony’s belongings. He fetched the wallet and handed it to Clint. “Make sure you get me a chocolate one.”

Clint grabbed Natasha and raced down the hall, giggling in excitement. 

As they sat, waiting for the results of the EEG and other tests, the Avengers talked while consuming as many muffins that would fit in their stomach. 

In the middle of a conversation, Tony suddenly froze. His hand with the muffin slowly lowered and his eye started twitching. Before they even realized what was going on, Tony’s body started seizing. 

Bucky ran over to the head of the bed and with Rhodey’s help, he scraped the half-chewed muffin from Tony’s mouth so he wouldn’t choke on it. The machines started beeping and soon Tony’s doctor and two nurses came into the room. The doctor checked Tony’s vitals while the nurses turned him onto his side. The doctor then used a syringe to insert more medicine into Tony’s IV. Gradually, his twitching slowed. 

“I have the results from the test,” Dr. Karly started as the nurses helped Tony settle down. “It looks like low blood sugar caused the seizures.”

“What does that mean?” Rhodey asked. 

“It means we are going to give him an IV of glucose and see if that helps. I also want to try him on a new medication that should help regulate his blood sugar. But after we monitor him for a few days and he’s okay, then you guys are good to go.”

Bucky let out a breath, relieved. After the doctors and nurses left, he and the other Avengers made their way to the bed where Tony was sleeping. Bucky pressed a kiss onto Tony’s forehead, grateful that his doll would be okay.

Chapter Text

Seeing Tony so frail was jarring for Steve. Every time he looked at Tony so tiny in the hospital bed, his ribs on display through his cellophane skin was a reminder of his failure. It took him incredibly long to dig out Tony and Natasha and they suffered for it. 

It took a few days for Steve to understand that they couldn’t just feed Tony food to make him gain weight. 

Tony had been admitted to the hospital as soon as they recovered him and the doctor had diagnosed him with a bunch of large words Steve couldn’t understand. From the few things he was able to grasp, Tony was dehydrated, needed something called electrolytes, and had refeeding syndrome. He used his phone to look up what that meant and he didn’t like what he found. 

By the time they had let Steve see Tony, it was several hours after they had recovered him and Tony was resting. There was only one visitor allowed so Steve went to Tony’s room by himself. 

Tony was covered in a bunch of wires and tubes that snaked below the blankets and connected to the multitude of machines above his husband. Steve took the chair next to the bed and got comfortable, knowing he would be there for a while. He took Tony’s bony hand and cradled it gently, afraid it would break in his larger one. 

Steve woke up around 3 am to whimpers. Tony’s heart monitor was beeping slightly faster than usual, and Steve could see his body twitching slightly under the covers. He stood and focused on Tony’s face which was pressed into the pillow. He gently rubbed Tony’s cheek. “You okay, baby?” He asked softly. 

Tony turned to look at him and his eyes squinted in the low light. Steve noticed the sheen of sweat on the man and the pained look on his face. “Hurts,” Tony rasped. 

When Steve noticed Tony’s hands fidgeting under the blanket, he pulled it back and froze. Steve reached over Tony and pushed the nurse call button frantically before taking Tony’s hands in his, pressing shaking kisses onto them. 

Tony’s stomach was large and swollen, looking pregnant. He kept whimpering and clenching the sheets in pain. Steve only had a second to move back before Tony was throwing up all over the sheets. He vomited continuously and even when his stomach was empty of the liquid nutrients they had shoved through his nose, his body was reduced to dry heaves. 

A doctor and two nurses rushed in, taking in the scene with wide eyes. The doctor quickly pulled away the sheet and started applying pressure at different spots on Tony’s swollen stomach, causing the sickly man to grunt in pain. She pulled out a stethoscope, listening to his stomach and frowned. She turned to the nurses, “There’s a blockage in his intestines.”

That was all Steve heard before they were whisking Tony off for a bunch of tests. A few hours later, they finally rolled Tony back into the room and confirmed their diagnosis. Because of Tony’s starvation they didn’t want to treat it how they usually would- by telling patients to stop eating for 1-3 days- so they decided to try different methods. 

Steve sat on the bed sitting Tony against his chest as the doctors tried different things. First, Steve had to hold Tony down as they fed a tube through his nose and into his intestine. Tears leaked from Tony’s eyes as he fidgeted in pain. The tube took forever to get down and he could feel it touching his throat- it was horrible. Finally he had to sit still as they tried to suction his insides to help the bloating and relax pressure. 

After that, they attached patches to Tony’s lower stomach and sent electronic pulses to help stimulate movement in the intestines. 

After hours of doing different things, they finally hooked an IV of electrolytes up to Tony and let him sleep. Steve cradled him as Tony dozed, rubbing his swollen stomach softly. 

The electrolytes helped a bit and Tony’s swollen stomach did shrink, but he was still very constipated. Steve spent hours by Tony’s side as the man sat crying on the toilet. The nurses didn’t want him to move until he pooped, but besides loud gurgles, his stomach did not want to move. 

It was hours until Tony could even fart. Steve had been taught how to properly massage Tony’s stomach to encourage movement. When Tony’s backside was in pain from sitting on the toilet for so long, Steve dragged him off, pulling him into his arms, and worked his fingers around his husband’s hard tummy. Tony wailed as his insides gurgled and moaned, laying limp against Steve’s chest. 

It all came to a head that night when Steve woke to Tony’s crying. He jumped up quickly and saw his husband curled on the hospital bed covered in vomit. He seemed to have been sick for a decent amount of time because underneath the new vomit was quickly drying vomit and it was so much that it was starting to drip onto the floor. 

There was sick on Tony’s gown, and because he could barely lift his head, it was on his cheek, and a bit in his hair. Steve stared, frozen, at his husband who lay weak on the bed continuously vomiting. When Tony used a break between heaving to whisper “Stevie”, the supersoldier jumped out of his shock and pressed the nurse call button. 

He ran to Tony’s side, sitting the man up against the pillow and placing a basin underneath him. Tony was beyond throwing up all the liquid food he’d been given, and was now heaving a clear liquid. 

Just as Steve went to lift Tony out of the bed, his husband suddenly froze, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Tones-” Suddenly, Tony’s body jerked, spasming and shaking. Steve quickly lowered him down and moved away the vomit-covered sheets. Grunts escaped from Tony’s mouth and his limbs twitched wildly. 

Nurses rushed in, pushing Steve back, and turned Tony onto his side. Steve made his way back to Tony’s side and rubbed the man’s hair. “You’re okay, Tones. You’re okay,” he chanted. A nurse squeezed a liquid into Tony’s IV and his twitching slowed. When Tony’s body was still the nurses moved into action, stripping the sheets and moving Tony around. In his shock of the moment, Steve didn’t realize one of the nurses was guiding him out of the room until he was staring at the closed door. 

Steve stared sadly before making his way upstairs toward the residential part of the tower. As if knowing she was being sought out, Natasha was waiting for him on the couch. 

“How’s he doing?” Nat asked as he sat down heavily. 

Steve’s lips flattened and he kept his gaze on the blank television. Natasha took in his reaction and sighed. “I would never have let him-”

“I don’t blame you,” Steve said firmly, looking Natasha in the eye. “I just,” Steve huffed, running anxious hands through his hair. “I just wish he wasn’t a sacrificial idiot. But I know I would have done the same in his position, so I can’t be mad.”

Nat looked down at her hands and nodded in agreement. “Is there any way he can come home, I mean, up here? With us?”

Steve stared straight, dazed. He shook his head. “You should see him, Nat. I thought they could just fill him up with food and he’d be okay… If I could just take away his pain.”

He didn’t realize he was crying until Natasha wiped at his cheek and snuggled into his side. “He’ll be okay, I know it.”

Steve didn’t believe her, but two months later, Tony was out of the hospital for good. After the doctor got his refeeding syndrome under control, he was on a feeding tube 24/7. He was also given a strict diet until eventually, the feeding tube was able to come out. 

Tony had gained some weight, but was still nowhere near the size he was before the mission. Steve constantly feared he would break Tony with how thin his arms were and how prominently his ribs stuck out. 

At least twice a week Tony would be stuck in the bathroom, vomiting violently after a meal, but with his new medication, and his team looking out for him, things were finally getting better.

Chapter Text

Bucky squeezed Tony’s hand, seeing the genius begin to open his mouth. When his boyfriend looked over at him, he gestured subtly to Steve who was in the middle of a story. Bucky watched Tony deflate and start to play with the food on his plate. 

Tony hated team dinners, thus he tried to avoid them as much as he could- and Bucky couldn’t blame him. Having ADHD made life incredibly hard for Tony, more than people could even assume. His mind was constantly moving and while it was what made him so smart, 70% of the time it was a curse more than a benefit. 

The speed of Tony’s thoughts varied, but sometimes his brain would be so busy he could barely finish his sentence before moving onto a new thought. It meant he was easily distracted, forgetful, and would often misplace things. It was very overwhelming and he often got migraines from it all.  

While his personality made it pretty obvious he had this disorder, he was sure some on the team didn’t know or just didn’t care. Which is why team dinners were so frustrating. 

Tony was easily bored so it was hard to listen to one person talk before drifting off, then he would forget that person was in the middle of talking and start talking about his own thing. They called him selfish and rude, but he genuinely didn’t mean it. 

He also got really fidgety the longer he was forced to sit. Bucky advised him that he should stay until at least three quarters of the table had finished their food so that no one would think him rude for leaving early. But having a small appetite ensured he was usually the first one done and therefore had to sit and silently will his teammates to eat faster so he could continue on with his next task. 

Bucky watched with a close eye as Tony’s eyes glazed over as he retreated into his head, his eyes still flickering as his thoughts moved quickly. It only took a few seconds before the man’s eyes suddenly cleared and his head shot up, intending to talk again. Bucky squeezed his leg and gestured again to Steve who was nearing the end of the story. Tony shifted in his chair frustratedly and scratched at the table. 

Although Bucky’s mind moved at a slower pace, he could easily understand how frustrating it was for Tony. Despite the bad parts, he enjoyed going down to the lab and watching Tony in his element, fluttering around and rambling nonsense he couldn’t keep up with. 

But it was sad knowing not everyone understood how Tony’s brain worked and did not take the chance to even try to. 

Once, Bucky came inside from his morning run to see Pepper standing above Tony who was sitting tense on the couch. Pepper was practically screaming at him about the meetings he missed and the insanely long to-do list he had yet to start on. 

Bucky, fully aware of why Tony was sitting on the couch not working, rushed over to tell Pepper to back off. Pepper glared, but she left, already on the phone with her PA to reschedule Tony’s meetings he had missed. 

Tony was curled into himself, shaking slightly, so Bucky sat next to him pulling him into his arms. Not only was Tony overwhelmed at all the stuff he had to do today, he also had a package that was expected to arrive at 3:15pm. Bucky was the only one who understood that until his package came, his brain shut down, refusing to do any task just like an overheated computer. It was some sort of ADHD paralysis, and Tony hated it. 

But instead of stressing over it, Bucky turned on a movie and tried to distract Tony from his crippling thoughts on all the things he had to do. At 3:15pm he watched amused as Tony ran to the door to get his package before racing off to the workshop. 

Bucky remembered one of the first times he was face to face with Tony’s ADHD. He had woken up early one day and decided to make his way to the kitchen, intending to start on breakfast. When he reached the common kitchen, he was forced to freeze in shock at the large mess. Tony sat in the middle of it, washing off a spoon. “Oh hey, Buckeroo.”

Bucky slowly approached. “Hey baby, what’s- what’s going on?”

Tony blinked and then slowly looked around, as if only just noticing the mess. “Oh, well I wanted to make breakfast.”

“Okkayyy…..”

“So I went to get a pan, but then I realized the pan was still in the dishwasher from yesterday.”

Bucky frowned, “Okay?”

“So then I opened the dishwasher to get the pan and then I noticed my favorite mug was in there so I pulled it out, but noticed it was still a bit dirty.”

Bucky slowly nodded, his eyes squinted in confusion. 

“So I went to wash it but I ended up chipping it on the sink. So I went down to my workshop to get my tool kit and I brought it up here. Then I opened it and was looking for a hot glue gun, but then inside I saw my wrench and remembered the kitchen drawer needed to be fixed when Thor broke it the other day. So I started fixing the drawer, but as I was fixing it, I was distracted by a bird hitting the window outside and everything inside the drawer fell to the floor. As I started picking up the stuff that fell, I slipped and hit the ground. When I was on the ground, I was able to see under the counter and saw an old spoon that had fallen under there, so I grabbed it and started washing it- and then you walked in.”

They stared at each other for several moments before Bucky blinked, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll get started on breakfast while you finish washing your spoon.” Tony stared wide-eyed as Bucky put on an apron and reached for the pan, totally unfazed. A smile overtook his face and he knew at that moment that he wanted to marry the man.

Chapter Text

Rhodey didn’t know anything until his team decided to do a moment of silence during a training exercise. When he was told the news, he almost collapsed to his knees. He immediately scheduled a flight home.

He spent the whole ride calling Tony’s phone, but the genius phone went straight to voicemail, adding to his panic. 

His heart was already pounding but it just about stopped when he walked into a dark Avengers compound with no sign of Jarvis. Walking further inside, he heard the dull sound of voices. He followed the sound to the television in the common room. 

“The Avengers team have been killed in a bombing in New York City. The team was in the middle of a mission when a large bomb went off, collapsing the building and killing the Avengers inside. They are currently working to recover the bodies-”

Rhodey jumped as a glass bottle went crashing into the screen. He turned and squinted into the darkness, a hand creeping towards the gun on his hip. 

“Who’s there?”

“They’re all dead,” a voice croaked. “They’re all dead.” The voice cracked and large sobs lit up the room. 

Rhodey’s breath caught as he walked towards the voice. “Tony?”

He got a sniff in response, but as he walked further into the room, he saw a figure curled up on the ground and was able to recognize the unkept black hair. Rhodey let out a relieved breath and kneeled down, pulling the genius into his arms. “I’m so happy to see you, Tones,” Rhodey whispered, a few relieved tears escaping.

“They’re all dead,” Tony rasped again, limp against his best friend. “They’re all dead.”

Rhodey pulled back and finally noticed Tony’s glazed eyes and blank face. “Tony?”

“They’re all dead,” Tony wheezed again. 

Rhodey took in Tony’s sweaty hair, heavy breathing, and clammy skin. He quickly moved to turn on the light.

Rhodey grabbed the shocked man’s face into his hands and tried to catch his eye. “Tones, I need you to calm down for me, take some deep breaths.”

Tony responded to his words by vomiting. Tony coughed and wheezed in between heaving, Rhodey supporting the man so that he didn’t fall face first into the pile of sick. “Get it all out, Tones, you’re okay. I’m right here.”

Tony heaved for several minutes until there was nothing but stomach acid. “You feeling okay Tones?” Rhodey asked softly when the room erupted into quiet.

Finally, Tony’s gaze locked onto his. “Rhodey,” he said brokenly. “W-What am I g-going to do? They’re all g-g-g-gone.” Rhodey swallowed thickly at Tony’s vulnerable expression. 

“I-I don’t know, Tones,” he said gently, “But whatever you do, i’ll be right here at your side okay?” 

Tony’s face melted and he threw himself at Rhodey, burying his face into his best friend’s neck. Rhodey couldn’t even care that Tony was getting vomit all over his new shirt- his best friend was hurting so bad, and he didn’t know what to do to help. 

The first thing he decided he needed to do was to get them cleaned up. 

Tony was exhausted after he spent an hour sobbing into Rhodey’s neck, so the black man had to practically carry him to the bathroom. He sat the now mute man onto the closed toilet seat and pulled away his clothes. Being Tony’s roommate at MIT meant he had seen the genius naked plenty of times and it no longer phased him. 

It was hard trying to wash them both in the shower with Tony clinging to him like a koala, but he got it done while whispering as many comforting words into Tony’s ear as he could. 

It didn’t take him long to convince Tony to go to sleep, the man simply was done with the day and ready to end it. 

When Tony’s breathing got deep, Rhodey snuck out the bedroom to call Nick Fury. “Is it true?” He started. 

“You saw the news, Colonel,” the one-eyed man said flatly. 

“But is it true?” Rhodey said between a clenched jaw. Fury loved to play games, but now was not the time. 

“You are not at the clearance level to know anything else-”

“Bullshit!” Rhodey shouted into the phone. “My best friend is going out of his mind with grief and I need to know-” Rhodey paused as he heard a weird sound coming from the bedroom. 

“Colonel?” Fury asked cautiously. Rhodey listened, and upon hearing the noise again, he ran into the bedroom. 

Upon seeing the sight inside, he dropped the phone in the doorway. 

Rhodey ran over to the side of the bed, throwing himself to the floor, and shoved his fingers into Tony’s foaming mouth. He tried to scoop out as many pills as he could before pumping on Tony’s stomach. After four tries, two handfuls of pills came tumbling out of the genius’ mouth and onto the floor. “Tony, why?” Rhodey said, tears clouding his vision. 

“I c-can’t do it alone, I c-can’t,” Tony sobbed, laying limp against the side of the bed and breathing heavily. 

Rhodey crawled over to where his phone was in order to call an ambulance before hearing Nick’s voice. “Colonel? Colonel? What’s happening?” 

“He overdosed,” Rhodey said brokenly into the phone. He looked over at where Tony was slumped, pale face, with slightly blue lips. 

Nick was quiet for several long seconds. “Medical personnel are on it’s way to you,” he said quietly. 

Rhodey let out another sob before hanging up the phone. He crawled back over to Tony and held the man in his arms, praying and pleading for him to be okay. 

Just as Fury said, paramedics flooded the room only minutes later. They hooked Tony up to a bunch of machines, the genius now unconscious, before whisking him off to the hospital. 

Rhodey sat, dazed, in the middle of the room, before his phone started ringing again. He answered it numbly. 

“Colonel, I...have something to tell you,” the director said, uncharacteristically nervous. 

Rhodey, too emotionally drained, did not respond. 

“The Avengers are okay. I sent them on an undercover mission and it was necessary for the public to think-”

“What. The. Fuck,” Rhodey snarled. 

“It was necessary-”

“Necessary my ass. My best friend just overdosed because he thought his teammates were dead . Why didn’t you tell Tony about this ‘undercover mission’?”

Fury sighed heavily. “I didn’t tell Stark because...well you know how he is-” Fury paused, knowing immediately this was the wrong thing to say. 

“Fuck you. Fuck all of you,” Rhodey snarled. “You better not step foot near Tony or I’ll put you on an ‘undercover mission’.”

Chapter Text

There was a brief moment he felt calm as he flew through the air- the wind rustling his hair, the rushing in his ears. But right after that tiny moment, panic took over, and he quickly remembered that he wasn’t flying, he was falling. 

He had been so distracted talking to Loki he forgot to slide on his bracelet suit. He grabbed his wrists desperately but it was clear nothing was going to save him. The comm was in the suit, so he couldn’t talk to the team, the others were scattered around the city, and he was rapidly approaching the ground. 

He remembers flailing, he remembers closing his eyes, but he doesn’t remember splatting on the ground- thankfully. Someone caught him as he had passed out from panic. 

When he woke up next, he was in Medical with pain so bad he could barely squint his eyes open.

“Mmmmghhhh,” he groaned, squeezing the rough bedsheets.

“It’s okay baby, the nurse is bringing more medicine now,” he heard a concerned voice say before he felt hands in his hair. He squinted his eyes open to see his husband’s blue eyes and blonde hair. 

“There’s my genius,” the man smiled, pressing a kiss to Tony’s cheek. 

“Hurts,” Tony rasped. His hands shifted from his sides and he looked down in confusion when he felt hard plaster. His legs were in two large leg casts from below his belly button to his toes. By his ankles was a bar that kept his legs in place.

“I know, Tones, you got hurt pretty bad out there.” There were tears shining in Steve’s eyes. “But you’re gonna be fine, baby, you’re gonna be just fine.” Tony didn’t know which one of them Steve was trying to reassure. Tony shifted his hand until it was touching his husband’s, causing the man to smile. 

With Tony’s complaining, he only was forced to stay in Medical for another two days before he annoyed the staff enough that they released him. But going back to the compound was a new struggle he hadn’t even thought of. 

It had taken the nurses hours to go over with Steve how to care for Tony in his casts- washing, changing, moving, etc. Steve was pretty overwhelmed, but he did his best to take in and remember all the information. 

Although Tony hadn’t impacted with the ground, when the Hulk caught him by the legs, the momentum and force fractured several bones in his legs as well as his hips. Even with the cast and morphine, Tony was still in immense pain from his multiple fractures. 

Steve had brought his own clothes back from the compound to dress Tony in since they would fit looser. Tony was slightly out of it as Steve dressed him, having been subjected to several painful tests in order to be discharged. 

It was easy enough to slide the hoodie over Tony’s head, but the sweatpants were a whole different problem. The nurse had taught Steve how to remove the bar in order to slide on Tony’s pants, but every movement sent pain up Tony’s body. 

“I’m sorry, baby, almost done,” Steve said softly as he wiggled the sweats around the casts. Tony had a firm grip on his upper arms and had his eyes squeezed shut in pain. 

Tony couldn’t help but cry out when Steve had to turn him to get the pants over his bum. Pain was shooting up and down his legs, across his hips, and sparked in his lower back, it was incredibly painful. What made it worse was the unscratchable itch under his cast that he was forced to suffer through. He didn’t know how he was going to last 12 weeks with them. 

Steve pressed kisses all over Tony’s face when he was finished dressing him. “Ready to go home?” He whispered. Tony hiccuped and nodded. 

It was another two hours before they signed the discharge papers, got Tony’s medicine prescriptions, and Rhodey arrived to help. 

The hospital gave them a reclined wheelchair which they stacked with pillows. Steve carefully lifted Tony from the bed, trying not to put too much pressure on the casts, before placing the genius into the chair. Rhodey fluffed the pillows around Tony and put large fuzzy socks over his exposed toes. “Comfortable, Tones?” Rhodey asked.

Tony sighed heavily but nodded. Despite having slept a fair bit since being in Medical, he was anxious to take a long nap in his own bed. Luckily, a few hours later, his wish came true. 

Tony was deep in his slumber when he felt someone pulling at his sweatpants. “Not t’night S’evieee,” he groaned, hugging the pillow tighter. 

“Stop squirming, Tony,” Steve huffed. 

Suddenly, Tony felt air hit his crotch area. His cheeks tinted red in embarrassment. “Are you changing my diaper?” He muttered.

Steve paused for a second before going back to his task. “Yes, and I'm almost done, stop wiggling.” He removed the outer diaper that was wrapped around the outside of the casts before removing the one tucked inside the cast. 

Tony didn’t know how to respond so he sat quietly until Steve was done. 

“So I guess I really am your baby now?” Tony smirked. 

Steve hopped onto the bed and cuddled around Tony after he finished. “Always,” he smiled.

Chapter Text

Bucky sat behind Tony on the couch, the smaller man leaning against his chest. Tony’s eyes were closed as the pressure in the back of his head grew. Bucky kept an eye on him, worried, while massaging the genius’ neck that was stiff with pain. 

“Feeling any better, baby?” Bucky asked softly. 

Tony whimpered and turned in Bucky’s arms so that his head was nestled into his boyfriend’s neck. Bucky frowned at the warmth radiating from Tony’s forehead.

“Do you think it’s just a headache, or a migraine?” Bucky asked, keeping his voice low. 

Tony let out a pained breath. “S’ just a headache, m’okay.” 

Bucky frowned at Tony’s response. “Jarvis, can you lower the lights a bit more?” The room darkened even more, and Tony’s eyes unsquinted slightly. 

Bucky ran slow fingers through Tony’s fluffy hair. The room was quiet and still, the only sound being Tony’s harsh breathing. 

Bucky was about to fall asleep when he felt Tony’s hand clench and unclenching his shirt. It was almost like a muscle spasm. “Tones?” 

“‘S dark,” Tony slurred. Bucky frowned as Tony seemed to struggle to get the words out. “Turn on the lightssss.”

“Can you see me, baby?” Bucky asked, pulling Tony’s face away from the crook of his neck. 

“‘S dark,” Tony whined. 

Bucky’s eyes creased in concern. Tony’s vision went out rarely- only before severe migraines. “Okay, let’s go to the bedroom, Tones. We’ll take a nap, doll.”

Tony whimpered and his hand started smacking the side of his head. Knowing how uncontrollable Tony’s body got during a migraine, he pulled the limb away gently and tucked it against Tony’s side. “I know it hurts, Tones, but you’ll feel better after a nap.”

Tony whined in response, sagging into Bucky. The supersoldier sighed and pushed his boyfriend to stand. The genius immediately swayed and his legs shook threateningly. Bucky quickly pulled the smaller man into his arms and carried him bridal style into the bedroom. 

Tony let out a screech as he was placed onto the bed and started scratching at his arms. Bucky quickly pulled away the furry cover which allowed Tony to relax. Tony’s skin sensitivity was another sign of a bad migraine. 

The genius immediately curled up onto the bed, shoving his pounding head into the cool pillow. After running to get a cold cloth to place on Tony’s forehead, Bucky curled up behind his boyfriend, spooning him gently, and willing his pain away. 

An hour later, Tony was groaning loudly in pain and was trembling in Bucky’s arms. Bucky winced when he heard the genius dry heaving. Tony rarely threw up from a migraine, but his body liked to torture him with the thought to make his head pain even worse. 

Bucky rubbed soft circles onto Tony’s back as his body arched and curled with the heaves. “You’re okay, doll, just try to relax,” he whispered. 

When the heaving finally stopped, he felt the smaller man press himself closer into his arms, so he kissed the back of Tony’s hair. Suddenly, Tony’s arm snaked behind him, grabbing Bucky’s own arm, and threw it over his eyes. Tony hummed contently at the new darkness and his breathing started evening out. 

Three hours later, Bucky was awoken by shuffling. He opened his eyes and saw Tony sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Listening closely, he could hear soft crying. “Baby, no,” Bucky cried, jumping out of the bed and kneeling in front of his boyfriend. 

Bucky placed his large hands on Tony’s smaller knees and used his thumbs to rub soft patterns into the skin. When Tony continued to cry, he placed his head onto Tony’s lap, not unsimilar to a dog. After a few seconds, Tony’s hands removed themselves from his face and buried themselves into Bucky’s long hair. “What’s wrong, doll?” Bucky pouted. 

Tony sighed, squeezing his eyes shut for a second. “My head hurts, and I need to use the bathroom, but it hurts to move, and we were supposed to go to a date tonight but now I ruined it, and you probably hate me, and-”

“Woah, woah, slow down, Tones. I could never hate you, okay? Especially over something you can’t control. We will just go out another night, simple as that. But I'm happy as long as I get to be with you- migraine or not,” the supersoldier smiled. 

Tony sighed but returned the smile. 

“Now let's get you to the bathroom,” Bucky said, standing. He grabbed Tony by the waist and gently helped the genius stand. Tony’s legs dipped, about to give out, but Bucky held him firmly. 

“I think m’ gonna pass out,” Tony rasped, moving a hand to cradle his head. 

“You’re okay doll, I got you. Take some deep breaths, okay?” Tony nodded and copied Bucky’s breathing. Slowly they made their way to the bathroom, though Bucky had to carry his boyfriend on the way back. 

Bucky settled them both back into the bed with the lights off and the fan blowing slightly, and cuddled Tony close, kissing his pain away.

Chapter Text

There were complications during surgery. Of course there were, he’s Tony Stark- A guy who never does things the easy way. But just like Tony Stark is known for, he pulled through despite the odds.

Steve was scared to visit his husband in the ICU- too afraid that this was all a dream and his mind had tricked him that Tony was here because it was the end of his life and not the start of a new one.

But when he walked into the room to hear the loud heart monitor, steady beats he hadn’t heard in weeks , he immediately fell to his knees, sobbing in relief. The rest of the team hugged him, just as relieved. 

It took a day or so for Tony to wake up, but when they did, they decided to put him back under due to the immense pain. Tony had so much trauma to his chest area, more than any human should ever have, so they decided to give him another day or respite from that pain before he would have to face it head on. 

But when they did finally wake him up and decrease the pain medication, the team was there to support him. 

Tony’s voice was raspy from the breathing tube he had during the surgery and the day after, so he only spoke in one word sentences. The only words he could get out through the pain were ‘hurts’ when the pain became unbearable, ‘sick’ when he felt nauseous, and ‘water’ when his throat became dry. 

It was two weeks after the surgery when Tony’s physical therapist wanted to get him out of the bed for the first time with his new heart. The whole team gathered in the spacious room for support. 

The Doctor stood at Tony’s bedside next to Steve and across from two nurses. “Ready to get mobile, Mr. Rogers-Stark?” The doctor asked enthusiastically. 

Tony hesitated before nodding slightly. He was not happy at the idea of leaving the bed, knowing how aching his body was bound to be. Tony’s chest area was constantly buzzing with pain from the incision and the extra shifting of his insides they had to do due to the leftover trauma of the reactor. But even so, he wanted to be able to leave this sickly place. 

They got in position, Steve by his head, and the doctor by his feet. First Steve helped him cross his shaking arms over his chest while the doctor picked up his legs and bent them up. Already, he could feel the ghosts of pain licking at his senses. 

Steve followed the doctor’s instructions and placed a hand over Tony, touching his far shoulder. In one motion, the two nurses pushed Tony’s side towards him while he pulled. “Mmggguhh,” Tony groaned as they turned him onto his side. 

“How are you doing, Mr. Rogers-Stark?” The doctor asked.

Tony took a minute to catch his breath before nodding. “If the pain gets unbearable, please let us know.”

The doctor pulled Tony’s bent knees over the side of the bed. Then Steve and the doctor pulled Tony’s torso so he was sitting up. Tony breathing grew fast as he fought the twinges in his chest. When Tony’s eyes closed, Steve pulled the man’s head up in alarm. “Tony? Tony?”

“M’ okay,” the genius groaned, blinking his eyes open again. 

The doctor checked the monitors to confirm Tony was okay. “Ready to stand?” He asked. 

Tony sighed but nodded. 

The doctor positioned Tony so that he was leaning, with his arms still crossed, against Steve’s chest who had his arms wrapped around his husband. On the count of three, they stood- Steve pulling Tony up while the man mainly focused on not passing out. 

Tony's knees shook and Nick had to come over for extra support. “Hurts,” Tony cried as his chest twinged at the change in gravity. His whole body was aching at the change.

“You’re okay, baby. Just breathe, take your time,” Steve said softly, keeping a firm grip on his husband. 

The doctor, who now sat on a rolling chair, moved himself towards the group. He shifted everyone so that Steve now stood behind Tony, Fury to his right, and Clint came over to support Tony’s left side. 

Tony's body was shaking with exhaustion, but the doctor wanted him to take a few steps before resting. Slowly, Tony, with the help of his team, shuffled the few steps toward the doctor. It was slow, and Tony was sweating, but he did it. And while he was exhausted afterwards, he was happy to know the tiredness was coming from the strains of his body and not his heart struggling to beat. 

When Tony got back into the bed, Natasha immediately laid next to him and pulled him close. “Great job, Antoshka,” she whispered as his eyes fluttered close. 

Tony’s recovery was long and hard, but he kept at it. He was using a walker when he was first discharged, but after a month, he was able to walk unaided. It took awhile before he was able to walk long distances, but he constantly pushed himself (sometimes too much, but don’t tell Steve). 

The day he flew again in the suit was simply magical.

It was the first time in Tony’s life he was not constantly plagued with the idea his body would give up on him at any second. He actually had a life to look forward to without constantly worrying when it was going to end. 

And being given the gift of more time to spend with his family, well, that was all he ever wanted.

Chapter Text

When Steve and Bucky had been on the plane back from their mission and saw their boyfriend’s interview on the television, they wasted no time in getting to the tower as fast as possible. 

The press had spent minutes harassing Tony about the Avengers’ latest mission where he was forced to choose between saving a school of children or a bus of people. He had chosen the school and saved the lives of over 200 children, but the press did not hesitate in calling him a murder. They even started shouting his previous nickname ‘Merchant of Death’ at Tony before Pepper eventually dragged him away. 

The soldiers only caught a second of Tony's shaking hands and pale face before he was pushed off stage, but they could guess how troubled their boyfriend probably was. Especially as their phones flooded with missed calls from the group as soon as they entered the U.S. and regained an internet connection. 

The tower was quiet and duller than before they had left. Bucky and Steve walked cautiously to the elevator and made their way straight to Tony’s workshop. As soon as the elevator doors opened, he was met with a group of Avengers sitting slumped against the blackened doors.

“He’s been on total lockdown for three days now,” Natasha said as they opened their mouths to ask. 

“No one’s override codes have been working,” Bruce added, standing. 

Steve and Bucky’s faces hardened. “Jarvis, code Manchurian Candidate,” Bucky said loudly. 

“Code invalid,” Jarvis spoke back. 

“Jarvis, code Capsicle,” Steve said, anger in his tone. 

“Code invalid.”

Bucky punched the wall in anger. “Tony! I know you can hear us! Let us in!”

“We’ve been trying for three days now,” Bruce said softly. 

Bucky growled and used his metal arm to punch the door. He repeated the action over and over. Steve joined him when he noticed the glass slowly cracking. 

In less than a minute, the door and windows had splinted open. Glass rained down onto the floor but the supersoldiers wasted no time jumping past the mess and running into the workshop.

They found Tony slumped against his workshop desk, chugging on a bottle of liquor. He was surrounded by more than half a dozen empty bottles of various alcohols. When Steve reached to tug the bottle out of the delirious genius’ hand, the man woke up, tugging the bottle back and setting tired eyes on his boyfriends. “‘s mine,” he slurred. 

“Give it to me, Tony. You know you’re not supposed to be drinking,” Steve said sternly. 

“No, don’t tell me what to-” Before Tony could finish, he was vomiting all over himself. Bucky tossed a garbage can under him but still a significant amount ended up all over his shirt and lap. 

As soon as the vomiting stopped, Tony’s eyes fell closed and he slumped to the side. Steve slapped his cheek, “Tony, Tony wake up.”

Tony’s eyes fluttered open again and he looked around confused. Bruce, who had moved towards the group, reached out a hand to check Tony’s temperature. Before he could reach Tony, the genius started lashing out, screaming something about a ‘Jerico’. Bruce stumbled back as Tony’s limbs flailed, but the supersoldiers didn’t flinch as Tony’s hands connected with their body. 

“Calm down Tony, you need to calm down,” Bucky shouted over Tony’s screaming. 

Steve moved behind the genius and restrained him but Tony continued to fight and yell. Bruce managed to check his temperature and didn’t like what he found. “We should get him to bed,” he said. 

Steve opened his mouth to respond just before Tony’s body ejected more vomit. This time Bucky was quick and caught it all. 

When Tony finished he was sobbing and Bucky used a clean towel that laid on the desk to wipe his tears and mouth. 

“Let’s get you to bed, baby,” Steve said softly, his anger dissolving at Tony’s pitiful state. 

“No,” he hiccuped, “Leave me here. I should die just like they said.”

Steve pulled Tony tighter against his chest, “Never say that. Fuck those people. The only opinions that should matter are the people here in this room- and we all think you are brave, and courageous, and smart, and selfless, so don’t ever say that.”

Tony went silent at Steve's words, his eyes glazing over. “Captain ‘Merica cursed,” he slurred after a moment. 

A sad laugh tore from Steve’s mouth and he pressed his cheek against Tony’s sweaty curls, “Yes, he did. Now let’s go to bed.” Steve picked Tony up bridal style and the engineer’s eyes fell closed. 

The team shuffled into the elevator and took it up to the penthouse level. They were silent as they laid Tony onto the bed and replaced his vomit-covered clothes with pajamas. 

“You need to watch for signs of alcohol poisoning,” Bruce instructed Steve and Bucky as everyone left.

“This isn’t our first rodeo with Tony, Bruce,” Bucky said, grumpily. 

Bruce nodded solemnly and left the room. 

Bucky turned to the king size bed to see his two boyfriends snuggling. Tony’s eyes were glassy as Steve whispered into his ear from behind. The engineer looked horrible with the bags under his eyes, the pale skin, and his body’s tremors. Bucky slid onto the bed on Tony’s other side. 

He pressed a kiss onto the genius’ forehead and allowed him to snuggle into his chest. “Do you want to talk about it?” Bucky whispered. 

He felt Tony shake his head. 

Bucky sighed. “Later then.”

He felt Tony left out a deep breath but the genius left it at that.

It was about an hour later Tony practically fell out of the bed in his rush to get to the toilet. The supersoldiers who had not fallen asleep and instead spent the hour having a quiet conversation amongst themselves, ran after him.

Bucky held Tony’s sweaty hair back from his face as the genius hunched over the toilet, heaving violently. Steve ran to fetch a cup of water and a cool towel. 

It was almost an hour later Tony finally fell back, his face flushed, and his breathing heavy. His eyes were closed and his hands shook. Bucky adjusted them so that Tony was sitting on his lap and leaning against his chest. 

Steve pressed the glass up to Tony’s lips and the man sipped hungrily. Bucky took the cool cloth and laid it over Tony’s warm forehead. 

They ended up falling asleep in the same position an hour later. 

Bucky woke to Steve shaking him. He jumped awake and immediately noticed the weight missing from his lap. “Tony?” He shouted, alarmed.

He and Steve jumped up at the same time and dashed to the elevator.

They found the genius in his workshop, digging through the cabinets. Steve pulled back Tony’s shaking hands. “I need it,” Tony screamed at the top of his lungs, fighting against Steve’s hold. 

“No you don’t,” Bucky said, grabbing Tony’s kicking legs.

“I need it, I need it, I need it,” Tony chanted, his voice breaking in desperation. 

“You were doing so well, Tones,” Steve said brokenly. 

“M’ a disappointment, get used to it,” Tony muttered angrily. 

“Don’t say things like that,” Steve said. Bucky noticed tears in the corners of his eyes. 

“Let me go! Let me go!” Tony cried. Finally he swung his head back, knocking Steve in the chin, causing the supersoldier to release his hold. 

Tony scrambled away, crawling to the corner of his workshop. He curled up, crying and pulling at his hair. 

The supersoldiers approached cautiously and sat a few feet away from Tony as if he was a wounded animal. 

“I didn’t mean to be a murderer,” Tony whispered. 

“You’re not, doll. You didn’t murder anyone,” Bucky said. 

“I did, I let those people die. I couldn’t save them.”

“We are superheroes, Tony. That’s gonna happen a lot, unfortunately. I know how hard it is to have to choose between saving people, and no matter what you always feel horrible afterward, but you’re not alone. Talking about your feelings with someone can help. You shouldn’t turn to alcohol because that does the opposite of helping,” Steve said. 

“I didn’t mean to,” Tony said softly, “It was just there.”

“And we weren’t,” Bucky finished. 

Tony tucked his head further into his knees but nodded. 

“I’m so sorry for not being there for you, Tones. We will make sure something like this never happens again, okay? We will make sure you’re always able to contact us, no matter what,” Steve said. 

Tony lifted his head from his cocoon and the supersoldiers took it as their cue to give the genius a big hug. “I love you,” Tony said. 

“We love you more.”

Chapter Text

Rhodey was at the hospital cafeteria after sitting at Tony’s bedside for 36 hours straight. They had pumped his friend’s stomach but an hour later when they were debating intubating Tony because his O2 went down to dangerous levels, they found out that some of the contents of his stomach had gone into his lungs. They were swollen and Tony was on oxygen and antibiotics until they could get them to heal. 

Rhodey had literally just sat down when he heard a code blue being called for Tony’s room number. He jumped from the table, knocking over his coffee, and dashed down the halls. 

He found the Avengers standing at the foot of Tony’s bed while the genius himself was strangling himself with his IV tube. The doctors were trying to get near but Tony screamed and pulled the tube tighter the closer anyone got. 

Rhodey ran to Tony’s bedside and tried to grab the genius’ hands from around his reddening neck. “Tony, stop, you need to let go,” Rhodey said firmly. 

“No! No! I gotta go with them,” he choked out. 

“What?”

“I can see them Rhodey, they want me to go with them,” Tony said, his voice growing more strained. 

“I can see them too, dumbass, now let go!” Rhodey growled. 

The shock of the statement caused Tony’s hands to go limp. “You can see them?” Tony said softly, his voice raspy.

“Yes!” Rhodey said, unwrapping the cord from Tony’s neck.

Tony was so shocked he didn’t even notice the doctor injecting him with a sedative. “They’re not dead?” He whispered.

“No Tones, they’re not. Rest now,” Rhodey said gently, helping Tony lay back.

Tony’s eyes fluttered as his body sunk into the sheets. “If they’re gone when I-I wake up, tell ‘em I missed them,” he slurred before being dragged under. 

Rhodey used gentle fingers to smooth back Tony’s hair. “I will, I’ll tell them.” He pulled the sheets over the genius’ chest before walking towards the door, gesturing for the Avengers to follow.

When the door closed, Steve set his narrow, slightly teary eyes upon Rhodey. His hands were shaking and he seemed to be on the edges of shock from the ordeal. “What happened?” 

Rhodey sighed, rubbing his eyes. “The mission you guys were on- the public was told you guys died.”

“Yeah, but Nick told Tony it was just a cover,” Steve said, eyes narrowing further. “Right?” 

Steve grabbed Rhodey’s shoulder, angry, “Right?!”

Rhodey shook his head. “He thought you guys died. He thought he was alone. He tried to kill himself.”

Steve stumbled back with a gasp. The other Avengers stared at Rhodey in disbelief. 

“He swallowed a bottle of pills, they had to pump his stomach,” Rhodey continued in a dead voice. 

“No, no, no,” Steve muttered.

“We have to talk to him,” Natasha said.

“As soon as he wakes up you all could talk to him, he would really like that.”

The Avengers nodded solemnly, subtly wiping away tears. 

Steve sniffed and hardened his face. “First we need to have a talk with Fury.”

Rhodey didn’t go with them, and when he saw the director a few days later with a black eye and bruises, he didn’t question it.

When Tony woke up to see the Avengers he immediately started sobbing. The group gathered him in a hug, apologizing over and over. 

While a horrible situation, it strengthened their bond to see how affected their normally nonchalant friend would be in their deaths. 

Chapter Text

1.

Tony strolled into the debriefing almost 30 minutes late as per usual. He sat down at the empty chair, ignoring the stares and took out his tablet. 

Steve coughed and Tony looked up. “Oh please, continue,” the genius gestured, continuing to type onto the pad. He lifted his feet and crossed them into the table. Bruce hummed disapprovingly and tapped Tony’s leg. 

“You’re being disrespectful,” Steve said, eyes narrowed. “Put your feet down and take off those ridiculous sunglasses.” 

Tony put his feet down with an eye roll. 

“Take off the sunglasses, we’re not outside,” Steve repeated. 

Tony sighed loudly and his eyes narrowed behind the purple-tinted glasses. “Please continue the debrief, Capsicle.”

He and Steve stared at each other for a long moment before the supersoldier huffed and continued talking.

He hated Tony’s eccentricity. He understood that in front of the press Tony loved playing into the ‘playboy Stark’ persona, but Steve didn’t think he should have to tolerate it when the cameras were off. 

Tony and Pepper were on a video call in Pepper’s office discussing a potential sponsorship with Stark Industries.

They were three hours into the discussion of financials and Tony suddenly remembered why he had given away the role of CEO so quickly. It was so boring. 

“What time is it?” Pepper whispered to Tony as the other company skimmed through some paperwork.

“Jarvis, what time-“ Tony started.

“Shhh, just check your watch,” Pepper said, pointing to the expensive watch on Tony’s wrist.

Tony looked down as if just noticing the accessory. He stared down at the circular blur on his arm. He couldn't make out the clock’s hand much less the small tick marks.

Tony stared helplessly at his wrist for several seconds until finally Pepper finally rolled her eyes. “You can’t read analogue Tony, really?” She quickly dug her phone from her purse and checked the time. 

Tony tried to keep the embarrassed flush from his face. He could read analogue...he just couldn’t see it anymore.

3.

Tony had just gotten home from a long meeting across town. He was tired and ready to crash. He was dragging his feet through the common floor in an effort to grab a drink of water before bed when suddenly something jumped down from on top of the fridge and landed on top of him. 

Tony let out a scream as the person laughed and held him down before ripping the glasses off his face. Tony tried to recognize the outline of the face but luckily the AI in his ear piece told him ‘Clint Barton’. “Give them back, Clint!” Tony said, struggling.

“Woah, the famous Tony Stark glasses,” Clint said, laughing. He was about to place the orange lens on his face before Tony hit his arm, distracting him.

“I said give them-” Tony started. 

“Uh,” Clint started, growing as he inched closer to the genius’ face. “Why are your eyes so glassy?”

Tony’s mouth hung open as he started to fumble for an answer. “I’m just tired so…”

“Yeah but,” Clint leaned in closer. “They’re like, really glassy. Can you even see me?”

Tony forced the archer off of him. “Of course I can see you. As I said, I'm tired. Now give me my glasses back so I can go to bed,” he said firmly. 

Clint handed over the glasses reluctantly, still giving Tony a weird look. He watched the genius walk away towards the elevator with questions brewing in his head. 

4.

“Tony,” Bruce said sadly. “I can’t do anything else.”

Tony stood up from the workshop bench, his face upset. “What do you mean you can’t do anything else?”

“I can’t add any more prescription to your glasses, Tones. I tried,” Bruce said sadly. 

“But I can’t see,” Tony said brokenly. 

“I know,” Bruce whispered, pulling his boyfriend into his arms. “But we can get you a white cane, and we can learn braille together.”

“But I can’t see,” Tony whispered again. Reluctantly, tears leaked from his eyes. 

Tony had done everything he could to ignore the fact that he was going blind, but now he was at the point he could no longer ignore the inevitable. And it scared him. Because he needed to see to do his job, to invent, to be Tony Stark . 

5.

Natasha, the spy that she was, quickly picked up on Tony and Bruce’s change in mood. They were quiet and kept to themselves even more than usual. So Natasha thought it was extra suspicious when Bruce had come home randomly with a large dog. 

He said it was a gift for Tony, though the genius was not as happy as Nat would have thought seeing the dog. He smiled, but his eyes held a deep sadness and acceptance to them.

The dog also had Nat confused because it was no normal dog. The dog, Ana, was very quiet, rarely barked, and seemed more intelligent than any random dog. She was always at Tony’s side and always ran to him when he stood up or looked anxious about something. 

It almost seemed as if Ana was a service dog, but no, why would Tony need one of those?

6.

It was a week later they were all in for a shock. 

Tony came wandering into the kitchen, 20 minutes late to breakfast. The Avengers were quiet as the genius wandered in, Ana at his feet, and he looked right past them. 

“Hey Tony,” Steve said, looking at the man suspiciously. 

Tony nodded in their general direction and continued his trek to the counter. 

The man looked tired. His hair was a mess, his clothes hung off him, his feet dragged, and even his famous colored glasses looked too big for his sunken face. 

They all jumped as Tony’s fist slammed onto the counter. The piece of bread he held in it flattened. He froze, frowning, and Clint could see his eyes squint from behind the lenses. They watched as he moved his hand a few inches to the right. Again, his hand slammed into the counter. “Who moved the toaster?” He said in a low voice. 

Everyone was silent, looking at the genius in wild confusion.

Tony moved his hand, pounding on the counter over and over. “Who moved the toaster!” He shouted, hysterically. “Who moved the goddamned toaster?!”

Bruce came running from his room and quickly took in the scene. He ran behind Tony, restraining his arm and pressing his lips to the genius’ ear. “Calm down, baby, calm down,” whispered. 

“I just wanted some toast,” Tony said brokenly. 

“I know, Tones, I know,” Bruce said softly. He took Tony’s hand and guided it to the toaster which sat about a foot away from its usual place. 

Tony grabbed the toaster blindly, his knees going weak in Bruce’s hold. “How about I make you breakfast, okay?” Bruce said, guiding Tony towards the bedroom. Ana slid herself under Tony’s hand and followed them. “You just get some more rest and I'll wake you when the food’s ready, alright?” 

As soon as Tony was in the bed, Bruce came back to the kitchen to meet frozen-in-shock Avengers.

“What just happened?” Steve asked. 

Bruce sighed, cleaning up the mess Tony left of his mutilated bread. “He’s going blind.”

The group gasped. “But...but…” Clint sputtered. 

“Why do you think he wears glasses all the time?”

“Because he’s Tony Stark and likes to be as eccentric as possible,” Steve answered, crossing his arms. 

“Because he can’t see,” Bruce corrected. 

“The dog?” Natasha asked. 

“A seeing-eye dog.”

“He’s really going blind?” Steve asked softly. 

Bruce sighed. “Be nice to him, okay? He already is having a hard time.”

“Of course, Bruce. We’re still his teammates. We’ll get through this together.” Steve said firmly.

Chapter Text

He was in the middle of a sentence when he felt the familiar fog settle over his mind. He watched it come from a distance, traveling closer and closer until his sentence drifted off and the fog surrounded him like a hug. 

He had been through it so many times the fog no longer felt suffocating. It felt almost calm, the way the world drifted away- so far, yet so close. 

He could hear the talking around him slowly fade away and his boyfriend’s hands firmly grip his forearms. But soon, even the touch of Bucky’s solid hands seemed to fade into the fog as well. 

He saw the world tilt and felt his head being laid onto something soft before his attention shifted from reality. 

A cold settled quickly into his bones causing an invisible shiver to travel up his spine. A sharp pain stabbed his head and if he was in control of his body, he would have squirmed. The world sizzled and shifted but it didn’t take long for the familiar feeling to take over his limbs. 

His nerves fired rapidly and randomly causing his body to shake and twist and pull and stretch and squish and turn. 

He could hear his boyfriend talking but he couldn’t answer. It sounded like everything was underwater and even the sluggish way his mind struggled to think was almost enough to convince him he actually was . 

His body hurt as it twisted and pulled and shaked and twitched but he couldn’t get it to stop. His body wouldn’t respond, his mouth wouldn’t move, his brain was slow, and he couldn’t breathe . 

“You’re okay, Tones,” Bucky’s voice whispered through the fog. 

He was okay. He was okay. 

Even though his body moved and shaked and twisted and pulled-

He was okay. 

It felt like years before the fog started to thin, signalling the storm was starting to pass. 

His thoughts slowly resumed like an abandoned train starting up for the first time, and for a while he was unsure if it would have enough brainpower to start up normally.

The nerves quieted, going out like old incandescent lightbulbs- Tony unsure when they would suddenly spark up again. 

One by one his life returned to his ownership- he could feel his body, his mouth, his brain, his breaths. 

And it hurt . 

The fog left but it left destruction in its wake. 

He could hear his boyfriend pleading, “Open your eyes, Tones. You’re doing great, let me see those eyes, doll.”

But Bucky didn’t realize how rough the fog was. How hard it was just to find his way back to the clearing. How anxious he felt, hoping the lightbulbs wouldn’t spark again so soon. How exhausted his body was, being forced to twist and shake and turn and pull and stretch and move. 

So he kept his eyes closed and he left his breath even out and he slept . 

But finally, hours later, when he was sure the fog was far away. When he was sure he could move his toes and his legs and his hips and his fingers and his shoulders and his head. When he was sure his brain was his , he opened his eyes. 

Bucky, who sat awake, worry still lingering in his sad eyes, smiled. 

“M’ okay,” Tony croaked.

Chapter Text

Loki always underestimated the fragility of Midgardians. 

His boyfriend flew around in a metal suit destroying other-worldly beings, so you cannot fault him for forgetting that humans were easily breakable. 

One thing Loki could never grasp his mind around was medication- pills . 

He didn’t understand the concept of consuming small pods to maintain one’s health. He always forgot Midgardian bodies did not heal themselves and sometimes needed assistance to keep running. 

So when he took Tony on a two week-long trip to Asgard, he totally forgot his task of reminding Tony to consume his so-called ‘pills’. It was the only job Bruce had tasked him with, knowing his boyfriend’s robot would not be accompanying them, and the genius never remembered himself. 

He had noticed how tired his boyfriend had gotten, and by the end of the first week, it was rare for Tony to go a whole day without two or more naps. 

They had to cancel their plans to tour the galaxy when Tony woke up with a debilitating headache. 

Loki spent the day with the smaller man curled in his arms whimpering pitifully. Loki had closed all the curtains, limited noise, and layed a cool cloth over Tony’s forehead, but he continued to complain of pain. 

There were other abnormal Midgardian tendencies that Loki had noticed- having studied them immensely during his travels. 

Tony’s body seemed colder than normal, almost cold enough to rival his own skin. Loki covered him in as many blankets as possible, but the genius continued to shiver. His skin was paler than normal- Loki having grown fond of Tony’s olive skin. And finally, when the genius wasn’t vomiting or refusing the food the cooks brought up for him, Tony whined of a craving for dirt. 

Loki never gave in because he knew dirt was not on the list of normal consumption for Midgardians, but he was incredibly perplexed. 

It wasn’t until the billionaire fainted that Loki decided to cancel their trip and carry the sickly man back to Midgard. Even if it meant facing Bruce’s rath. 

Loki laid Tony onto the couch just as all the Avengers gathered around. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” he said worriedly. “He suddenly grew ill.”

The Avengers watched silently as Bruce moved around taking Tony’s vitals. Finally he sighed, standing back. “I’ll have to do more tests in the medical wing. Steve?” Steve nodded and lifted the billionaire. 

Loki watched sadly as they carried his boyfriend away. Sam noticed that sad sorcerer and put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “Hey man, don’t blame yourself. Tony has a lot of medical problems. So as long as you’ve followed Bruce’s suggestions, given Tony his pills, you’ve done all you can.”

Loki froze at the mention of pills. Before he could say anything Bruce’s voice came over the room’s speaker. “Hey Loki? The tests are showing Tony’s iron and B-12 levels are low. Have you been giving him his pills?” 

Loki’s face colored in a blush. “Oops,” he said quickly before disappearing from the tower.

Chapter Text

While Bucky loved Tony enough to die for him, he had to admit, it was pretty challenging living with someone who had such an unpredictable neurological condition. 

Bucky could usually guess the intensity of Tony’s symptoms by his emotions, and considering yesterday was horrible and Tony went to bed sobbing from the stress of the day, he didn’t think today was going to be too great.

Their alarm went off at 9am and when Tony didn’t move, Bucky decided to let him sleep for a little longer and get ready in the bathroom.

30 minutes later when he was clean and dressed, he wandered back into the bedroom to see Tony still laying in the same position. He kneeled on Tony’s side of the bed and pressed kisses to his boyfriend’s forehead. 

“Time to wake up doll,” he whispered, moving Tony’s hair from his face.

The genius’s eyes fluttered and set glassy eyes upon Bucky. “I don’t feel well, Buck,” he said, his voice raspy.

“I know, and that’s okay. Just tell me how I can help,” he replied softly.

Tony sighed, closing his eyes. “M’Legs are tinglin’.”

Bucky nodded and climbed onto the bed, pulling Tony’s legs into his lap. He started massaging them, hoping the paralysis wouldn’t last long.

“Are you excited for today?” Bucky asked.

“What’s today?” Tony asked, eyes still closed.

Memory problems , Bucky checklisted. “Today’s Peter’s birthday, babe. We are going to the beach with everyone to celebrate.”

“Oh yeah, Penny,” Tony yawned.

“Peter.”

“Peter.”

“How do they feel now?” Bucky asked after a long comfortable silence.

He saw Tony’s toes twitch slightly. “Better.”

Bucky nodded. “Do you think you want to go to the beach?”

“Gotta celebrate Penny’s birthday.”

“Peter.”

“Peter.”

“You don’t have to doll, if your body hurts you can sit this one out,” Bucky said, frowning.

“My body always hurts, I wanna go though,” Tony muttered. 

Bucky sighed but nodded. “Let’s get dressed then, I think everyone is eating breakfast.” 

Tony nodded. He slowly pulled his arms out from under the covers and held out his shaking hands for Bucky to take. The supersoldier pulled up his boyfriend so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Tony immediately slumped over, putting his head in his hands. 

“No, baby, come here,” Bucky whined when he heard Tony whimper. He pulled Tony’s head to his stomach and ran his fingers through the back of his boyfriend’s hair. 

“I hate this,” Tony whined softly. 

“I know, I know,” Bucky whispered. 

Tony wiped his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He grabbed Bucky’s forearms and used as much strength as he could to hail himself up. His weakened body gave out halfway through the effort and Bucky’s strength took over to help him stand. “Take your time doll.”

Tony gathered his bearings for another minute before nodding and taking a step. One of his knees was locked up so he limped slightly.

Random parts of his body ached but he tried to not let it show as he walked slowly with Bucky at his side. 

By the time they made it to the kitchen, Tony could walk relatively normal- his limp barely noticeable.

“Hey guys, we’re just packing up the sandwiches now,” Steve greeted as Bucky led Tony to a seat.

Peter, who was talking with Ned and MJ, walked over when he noticed Tony. “Hey Mr.Stark! Thank you again for inviting my friends and I to the beach! I’m so excited!” 

Tony frowned at Peter, his eyes staring hard at the boy’s mouth. He sent a helpless look to Bucky, who quickly realized the problem and walked away.

“Happy Birthday, Penny,” Tony said. “Peter,” he corrected.

Peter nodded, looking at Tony a bit strangely, before wandering back to his friends. Tony’s cheeks went bright red in shame and embarrassment and he squeezed his knee unconsciously.

The group continued to discuss the plan of the day. Bucky came back a few minutes later and subtly placed hearing aids into Tony’s ears as the team was distracted. Tony let out a deep breath in relief as the world’s volume seemed to increase like he had pressed the button on a remote.

“Can you eat breakfast?” Bucky whispered to him. 

Tony shook his head. His throat already felt tight and he didn’t want to risk choking in front of everyone. He was a mess.

“You guys ready to go?” Sam asked, interrupting the pair. 

“Yeah,” Bucky said, a bit flustered. “We leaving now?”

Sam nodded and gestured to the group by the door. 

“Okay, you guys go ahead, we’ll ride behind you,” Bucky said. 

“We gotta drive the kid right?” Tony spoke up, confused. 

“You gave him a car for his birthday last year, remember doll?” Bucky said softly. 

“Oh,” Tony said quietly. He didn’t remember.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Must be nice having so much money you can’t even remember what you do with it.”

Tony laughed uncomfortably until Sam walked away. Bucky squeezed his hand gently. 

The pair walked behind everyone out to the garage, Bucky holding their bags. Tony was feeling stronger but he rathered the genius save his strength. 

Bruce, who suddenly changed his mind at the last minute to tag along, decided to ride with Bucky and Tony. He hated the beach but he figured he could still hang out with his friends. Luckily, Bruce was the only one on the team who knew about Tony’s FND so Bucky was happy to have someone to help keep an eye on his boyfriend. 

Natasha’s car took off first, with Clint, Steve, and Sam riding along. Peter’s car followed after them with Ned riding shotgun and Michelle in the back. Then finally Bucky’s car took the end with Tony and Bruce. 

The ride was nice with a comfortable silence that was covered by fun music on the radio. Tony ended up dozing for most of the ride but was woken up when the car lit up with a call from Pepper. 

As soon as Tony answered the call, the car lit up with Pepper’s angry voice ranting about how livid she was with Tony for missing deadlines. Bucky was concerned as the genius seemed to take the yelling and criticism without response, despite Pepper’s harsh words. 

When Tony’s eyebrows grew tense and his hand found its way to his forehead in pain, Bucky quickly cut Pepper off and ended the call. Soon the car was quiet except for Tony’s quick anxious breaths. 

“You work very hard, doll,” Bucky said after spending several long moments contemplating what to say. 

Tony chucked bitterly. “But it’s never enough.” 

Bucky sighed. “What’s on your to-do list? I can help when we get back home.”

Tony sighed heavily, slumping in his chair. “I have to update the new StarkPhone, organize a presentation for our investors about the new Arc Reactor energy theory, send Fury blueprints for the Quinjet upgrades, work on Clint’s new bow and Nat’s widowbites, check on the construction for Steve’s new bike, remodel-”

“Calm down, doll,” Bucky cut in when Tony started hyperventilating, his eyes widening at his long, seemingly impossible-to-complete list. 

“Deep breaths, Tony,” Bruce spoke up from the back. Bucky looked up to the mirror and his eyes connected with the scientist’s worried ones. 

Tony pulled at his collar, feeling like the air escaped from the car. Bruce settled a hand on his shoulder but he couldn’t feel it as a fog settled over his mind. 

Bucky looked over worriedly as Tony’s features smoothed out suddenly and the man went quiet. “Tony? Tony?” Bucky shifted his eyes quickly from the passenger's seat to the road. 

“Bucky, pull over,” Bruce said, his voice nervous. 

“I can’t pull over in the middle of the high-”

“Bucky, pull over,” Bruce said firmly. As soon as Bucky moved the car over to the shoulder of the highway, Tony’s body started shifting and twisting wildly. Bruce quickly unbuckled himself, sliding outside the car and opening Tony’s door. 

Bruce reclined Tony’s seat as his boyfriend unbuckled him, noticing the seatbelt rubbing uncomfortably against his neck and chest. The genius’ head lolled back and forth on the headrest and Bruce used his body as a barrier for Tony’s limbs which went to smack against the car door. Tony grunted and shook for a minute and twenty seconds before his body started to relax.

Bucky realized he was holding his breath so he finally released it as he saw Tony’s eyelids flickering. “Mmmughhh,” Tony groaned. 

“It’s okay, doll, you can rest, you’re okay,” Bucky said softly, running fingers through the genius’ hair. 

Bruce checked his science partner's vitals before declaring him okay. He buckled Tony in, leaving the seat reclined back, and put his sweater under Tony’s head for extra cushion. Bucky grabbed Tony’s thigh with his right hand and rubbed it gently. 

They received a call from Steve just as they started driving again. “Hey Buck, where'd ya go? Peter says he doesn’t see you guys behind him anymore.”

“Oh uh, we drifted back, got stuck behind a truck. You guys keep going though, we’ll catch up soon,” Bucky said. Tony squirmed at the voices, his eyes starting to squint open. 

“Okay, see you guys in a bit,” Steve said, ending the call. 

Bucky turned his attention to his boyfriend who was rubbing his eyes sleepily. “Hey baby, how are you feeling?” He asked gently. 

“M’ okay,” Tony yawned. Bruce helped him lift his seat up again. 

“We’re almost there, then we’ll make sure you get to stretch your legs, okay doll?” Bucky assured.

Tony nodded and decided to rest his eyes for the remainder of the car ride. When they pulled up to the beach, Bucky unbuckled, letting Bruce out the car, and turned to Tony. “Are you sure you want to attend, baby? I can take you home right now if you’d like.”

Tony sighed heavily but shook his head. “No, it’s okay.”

Bucky smiled sadly and took Tony’s smaller hands in his. “I’m so, so proud of you doll.” Tony blushed and leaned to press a kiss to Bucky’s lips. Bucky gave him one more look of strength before they both got out of the car. 

Tony took another moment to get his breathing under control, willing all the pain in his joints to quiet down and the fog in his head to leave, before joining his family for a fun day.

Chapter Text

Thor didn’t know much about Midgardian creatures, but when he saw something small sitting out in the rain, he couldn’t help but pick it up and take it home. 

The creature didn’t seem threatening, and seemed to just want warmth, so Thor figured he could keep it. 

He noticed all his teammates were off to their own corners, so he brought the creature to the common room and sat it on the couch. The creature shook itself out and it’s long tail curled up. 

“Friday, daughter of Stark?” He called, staring up to the ceiling.

“Yes, Thor Odinson?” The AI responded.

“I am inquiring as to what this...Midgardian creature might be?”

A hologram popped up in front of Thor from the coffee table. “The creature is in fact a Chartreux cat.”

“A…cat? Hmmm I’ve heard of this creature before. What do you do with it, daughter of Stark?” 

“People keep them as pets,” Friday informed.

Thor’s smile widened. He took the afghan laid on the back of the couch and wrapped it around the cat. “I guess you are now my pet, dear cat.” 

Thor kept the cat on his floor of the tower, though he brought it to the common room when his teammates were gone for he didn’t want to frighten his new pet with other people. In addition, he didn’t want to get his new pet sick when he heard of the man of iron’s sudden illness.

Tony had been having flu-like symptoms for several days, which had the whole team worried- especially his boyfriend Steve. Tony’s immune system was incredibly shitty and his chest issues made everything worse. 

The team had decided to have him sleep on the couch in the common room so he was always in sight and they could take turns watching over him. 

Bruce had given him medicine but none of it seemed to be working. Tony would spend all day huddled on the couch under the afghan sneezing and coughing. The skin under his eyes was swollen and tinged blue, his nose was itchy, and several spots on his body were covered in a rash. 

Steve was getting incredibly concerned but decided to give it another few days before forcing his boyfriend to the hospital against his will. 

Instead he sat with Tony on the couch, letting the man recline against him as he shivered and coughed. Steve tucked the blanket against Tony tighter hoping that would help the shivering. 

At night time, it was Thor’s time to take watch of Tony, so when he went to the common room to find the man asleep, he decided to bring his cat to sleep with the genius and hopefully make him feel better. 

After helping the cat curl onto a sleeping Tony’s pillow, he ended up falling asleep himself. 

He woke to alarms blaring in all the rooms and alerting everyone to assistance needed in the common room. Thor looked over at Tony and frowned at hearing the genius’ breathing. 

Steve and Bruce burst into the common room at the same time at hearing the medical emergency alarm ring. 

They found a confused Thor standing in front of Tony who was wheezing horribly and gasping for air. Steve quickly ran over and sat his weak boyfriend up against the couch arm. “Breathe baby, you can do it,” Steve pleaded when Tony continued to wheeze. 

Bruce had frozen at the scene, his mind going a mile a minute as he stared. “Is that a cat?” 

“Yes, tis mine,” Thor boasted. 

“Has he been in the common room all this time?” Bruce frowned.

“Yes, tis his favorite place to nap, snuggled into the afghan just like son of Stark.”

Bruce’s eyes widened as he connected the dots. “Get that cat out of here! Steve remove the blanket and take off Tony’s clothes now .” 

Steve frowned but did as the scientist said. He vaguely noticed Thor’s confused look as he walked out of the room with the pet. 

Tony shivered weakly as the blanket was removed from him. He started whimpering as Steve and Bruce worked to remove his clothes as well.

“It’s okay, Tones, I think I know why you’re sick,” Bruce said softly. 

“S’ cold,” he whimpered, scratching at his rash. Steve caught his hands and pressed kisses to them before placing them down on Tony’s lap. 

“What’s wrong with him Bruce?” Steve asked, removing Tony’s pajama pants. 

“I think he has a pet allergy and the cat was shedding over everything Tony touched, which made him sick.”

Steve’s eyes widened before narrowing angrily. “Thor-“

“S’okay,” Tony rasped, “He didn’t know.”

“Yeah but-“ Steve was cut off as a cough took away Tony’s breath. The billionaire started hacking roughly and alternated between gasping and coughing. 

“Get the nebulizer, Steve,” Bruce ordered, sitting Tony up and trying to coach him through breaths. 

Steve ran from the room to get the familiar machine, which was frequently used by his boyfriend after missions.

By the time he got back Tony was gasping more than he was coughing and his face was bright red. Steve quickly shoved the mask around the genius’ face. 

Steve took a seat next to Tony on the couch while Bruce sat in front of Tony, still trying to coach him on breathing. Steve put a hand on Tony’s back, trying not to panic more at the stuttering he could feel from Tony’s lungs. 

It was minutes before the nebulizer worked enough for Tony to breathe somewhat normally. The genius was exhausted and couldn’t do much more than simply lean against his boyfriend. 

Thor creeped out from the bedroom sheepishly when things calmed down. “You have my sincerest apology man of iron,” he voice boomed. 

“S’ all good, Thor. Maybe no cats though?” Tony smiled weakly.

“The cat has already been returned to a pet adoption clinic,” Friday informed. 

Tony gave a weak thumbs up and snuggled further into Steve’s broad chest. 

“Go to sleep, Tones. Let the Benadryl work, you’re gonna be fine,” Bruce said softly.

Vaguely Tony felt himself being lifted into strong arms, but he was already asleep before he could feel the familiar covers being placed over him. 

Chapter Text

Being married to Tony Stark was one of the hardest things Clint ever had to face in his life, but that didn’t mean he regretted it. No, it was one of, if not the best , things he’s ever done. But it was just hard. Really hard.

Tony was the most complex person on Earth, which was one of the things Clint loved about him. Clint loved learning new things about his husband every day- getting the chance to fall in love with him over and over again. 

But that didn’t mean everything he learned was good. Like when he learned Tony had narcolepsy. 

Clint knew what the disorder was but he didn’t know how real it was until his husband opened up to him enough to let him experience his attacks. When he watched Tony’s body betray him, and the man fight tooth and nail to gain control only to succumb to an unrestful sleep in the end, he gained new protective feelings over his husband. 

Tony didn’t tell anyone on the team about his disorder and Clint could obviously tell why. It was no secret that something like that was a threat to Tony’s safety during a battle. But Clint didn’t fight Tony’s wish for secrecy, especially when the genius opened up to him about his childhood. 

Tony had narcolepsy since he was a child. Howard got wind of his defective child and forced Tony to learn how to disguise it. Instead of growing up on medication and therapy, Tony grew up learning how to disguise part of himself. Howard spent days forcing Tony to keep himself awake or he’d get beaten. So much so that Tony became afraid to sleep. 

Clint soon realized the times Tony would stay up for days straight were not because he couldn’t fall asleep, but because the action was ingrained in him. 

But the narcolepsy didn’t fade away with this training, instead it only made Tony worse. Now as an adult, he was faced with horrible sleep crashes when he fought off the narcolepsy for too long and even when he did fight it off, he had to deal with crippling migraines. The lack of sleep damaged his immune system so he was constantly getting sick, and little did he know, he was even damaging his heart. Clint tried to force Tony to sleep when he had the chance, but the billionaire could not do away with the years of training his body was forced to endure. 

It was at the Maria Stark Foundation charity dinner that Clint got to see first hand what kind of damage Tony was doing to his body. 

All the Avengers had decided to attend the dinner to show support for Tony and to hopefully gather even more investors for the cause. The night was insanely long with speeches and giveaways and so much talking, and Clint, always keeping an eye out on his husband, could see how much it was draining Tony. 

The man had spent three days straight in his workshop doing things for SI, Shield, and equipment upgrades despite Clint’s constant begging for him to get some sleep. 

When four hours into the night Clint started to see the signs of a narcolepsy attack, he stuck himself to Tony’s side much to the genius’ annoyance. “Clint, baby, I'm fine. I need to talk to these investors,” Tony whined. 

“No, you need to sit down and recharge for a bit,” Clint frowned. 

“I said I'm fine,” Tony said firmly, ripping away from the archer’s hold. 

Clint watched Tony walk away to talk to some old men in suits with a frown. He didn’t want to force the genius and make him mad, so he just hovered nearby. 

Tony was lucky he did when in between talking to an investor, he stumbled as his knees suddenly weakened. Fortunately his loving husband was there to help steady him and play it off to the confused man. Clint excused them and quickly dragged Tony away. 

“No Clint, m’fine,” Tony slurred, his eyelids starting to droop. 

“No you’re not, Tony. Just stop fighting me,” Clint sighed. 

Tony huffed, but clumsily followed Clint. He made it to the closed-off balcony just in time for his body to collapse against his will. 

Tony let out a frustrated grunt as Clint helped lower him to the ground. “You’re okay baby, don’t fight it,” Clint said softly. He watched as Tony’s eyelids trembled, trying to stay open. 

“No,” Tony whined softly as his body slowly relaxed against his husband. “Wake’up.”

“No, go to sleep, Tones,” Clint encouraged, pulling Tony into his lap. 

Neither of the pair noticed the team entering the balcony and watching the scene with wide eyes. 

Tony’s body shook as it fought the sleep that was trying to drag him under. His hands flexed against Clint’s shirt, trying to grasp onto awareness. Clint grabbed them and settled them into his lap. “Just go to sleep, baby. I’ll be right here, okay?”

Tears escaped Tony’s eyes as they continued to tremble. Clint wrapped a gentle hand around Tony’s cheek and pressed the genius into his chest, rocking him. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” He whispered until the genius’ body finally relaxed. 

When Tony’s breathing evened out, Clint looked up to see the worried faces of the Avengers. “Narcolepsy,” he whispered, clearing up their confusion. 

Bruce walked over quietly, and kneeled in front of the pair. He put a hand on Tony’s forehead and frowned. “He’s running a fever too.”

“He tries to fight it,” Clint sighed. 

“Well he’s making himself sick,” Bruce said. 

Tony’s forehead scrunched up and he let out a whine. His eyelids trembled and his hand fisted Clint’s shirt. “No, baby, go to sleep, you’re okay,” Clint whispered. It took several seconds of the archer caressing his cheek for Tony to be dragged back under. 

“Should we wrap up the dinner?” Steve whispered. 

Both Clint and Bruce nodded. “He needs to get a full night’s sleep,” Clint said. 

Steve nodded and took Natasha to help him end the event. Clint helped guide Tony into Thor’s large arms before calling Happy to come pick them up. 

Safe, and surrounded by people he loved, Tony slept for a long time.

Chapter Text

Tony would do anything for his team, not just because he literally had the money to do anything, he genuinely loved making them happy. So when Steve and Clint had the idea of having a team bonding day at the lake like Clint used to do with his kids, he couldn't say no.

Tony bought out a huge lake for the day along with an obstacle course on the water and a huge inflatable. Even though he spent the days leading up to it having mini panic attacks thinking about just how much water and danger lay in the murky water, he was happy for the team to enjoy their retreat. 

It took Bucky an hour to coax him out of the car. 

Then another half hour before Tony was willing to sit down at the picnic table several feet from the edge of the lake. 

By then the team was already playing in the water, swimming and splashing each other. Tony could see Bucky looking a bit longingly at the fun though his boyfriend sat stuck to his side. “You can go, Buck.”

Bucky looked at him in surprise. “No, i’m fi-”

“James, go have fun,” Tony said firmly. 

Bucky gave him one last look before giving the genius a kiss on the cheek and he ran towards the water. Tony watched with a smile as Bucky sat on the huge inflatable balloon and Steve jumped on the other end, catapulting the soldier into the air and splashing into the water. 

A shiver forced itself through Tony’s body as he imagined what James was feeling- the water pushing around him, clogging his ears and his nose, unable to tell up from down, wondering where the air is and if he's allowed to get any of it. No I won’t build a Jericho! 

Tony shook himself from the dark place he was traveling to just in time to see Bucky rise from the water with a bright smile on his face. “Again!” He shouted happily, swimming back to land. 

Tony rolled his eyes. My little daredevil. 

The next few hours went smoothly. Aside from the several times Clint made fun of him for not getting in the water, Tony was enjoying himself. 

Until Bucky left to use the bathroom. 

Tony could barely comprehend the moment Sam and Clint snuck behind him, grabbing his limbs and carrying him to the lake. 

Tony fought and shouted but it was all drowned out by the laughter of the goofballs carrying him. Quick flashes of Afghanistan caused his body paralyze itself in fear as he tried to dictate which was reality. 

Clint and Sam placed Tony, who was now shaking silently, onto the end of the inflatable balloon. “Go ahead, Steve!” Clint smiled.

The supersoldier looked a little hesitant. “You sure?”

“Yes,” Clint rolled his eyes, “Now jump!” 

Steve nodded and jumped up into the air as high as he could. 

Natasha, who was walking back to the lake with Wanda holding drinks, only had a second to take in the scene and yell “Wait!” Before Steve’s massive supersoldier body collided with the end of the balloon and Tony went soaring into the air. 

The group watching could pinpoint the exact moment Tony realized what was happening by the way the color drained from his face and he started flailing in the air. They heard him scream just milliseconds before he belly flopped into the water, forcing the air from his lungs. Even Sam and Clint winced. 

Natasha ran over and slapped Clint on the arm. “Why would you do that?” 

“It’s just a joke, calm down,” he huffed. 

“It’s not a joke! You know Tony is afraid of water,” Natasha said frustratedly.

“No, he’s just a wuss that’s all!” Clint scoffed.

“Guys?” Wanda said hesitantly.

“Did you even read his folder, Clint?” 

“Yes, I read some of it.”

“Some of it?” Natasha said, face almost red in anger. “Well did you miss the part-”

“Guys!” Wanda interrupted again. 

They all froze and turned to her. “He hasn’t come up,” she said, pointing to the murky water. 

Tony didn’t remember much after being launched into the air. He remembered looking down and seeing the endless vast of water below him before smacking what felt like concrete. From then on he only remembered the darkness of the cave, the yelling of the terrorists as they screamed their demands, and the feeling of them holding his head under the water. Only this time, they didn’t drag him up by the hair when his vision started turning black. 

“Tony?” Bucky said, walking back from the bathroom. He noticed the group standing by the edge of the lake so Bucky walked over, catching the end of their conversation. His eyes widened. “What did you guys do?” He growled, eyes glaring. 

When no one answered, Bucky turned angrily and dove into the water. Natasha smacked Clint again before hopping in. 

“I thought he knew how to swim at least,” Clint shrugged sheepishly. The two guilty men dove into the lake to help the search. 

Wanda helped Steve crawl off the inflatable balloon and they both looked from the top of the lake. Wanda tried to use her powers to feel for Tony in the dark water. 

Bucky popped his head up, frantic. “I can’t find him, where did you last see him?” 

“He landed somewhere over here, but I can’t see either. The water’s too murky,” Natasha answered. 

Bucky swam over to the area and started swimming around. The water was greenish brown and was extremely thick. Bucky knew the seconds were ticking to find Tony before it was too late. He swam and swam and swam but he couldn’t find his boyfriend. Bucky came up with desperate tears in his eyes. “I can’t find him.”

The other Avengers poked up empty-handed. “We gotta keep looking,” Natasha said firmly. 

“Hold on, I think I got him,” Wanda suddenly shouted. They watched the red tinges of magic flow from her hands, she sweated with the effort. “He was really deep, I can’t lift him much higher in the water,” she said, straining. 

“I can help, where is he?” Bucky said frantically. 

“About 5 feet to your right,” she gasped out. 

Bucky looked to his right and noticed small bubbles coming to the surface he quickly dove down into the water. He felt something touch his ankle and he grasped onto Tony. Wanda fell to the ground from the effort when she felt Bucky pull against her magic. 

Bucky broke the surface with Tony in his arms. The team gasped at how blue the genius looked. 

“Fuck, someone call Bruce. Bring Tony here, fast,” Steve said. 

Natasha swam over and helped Bucky swim Tony to the edge of the lake. From there, Sam and Clint helped lift Tony out of the pool and to Steve. 

Bucky could barely drag himself out of the lake from how hard he was shaking. He watched with wide eyes as Steve breathed into Tony and performed CPR. Clint and Natasha dried Tony off with towels while Sam kept feeling for a pulse. 

Bucky collapsed by Tony’s head, crying. “Come on baby, wake up. You gotta wake up, Tones,” he whispered brokenly. He ran his fingers through Tony’s wet curls and kissed his forehead. “You can’t leave me, doll, you can’t.”

Wanda tried to help by trying to guide the water out of Tony’s body with her magic, but only a few droplets would come out. 

Bucky barely noticed when Bruce arrived, but he started shouting when the scientist shocked his boyfriend’s chest with the AED, having never seen it before. Tony’s lifeless body jumped as the shock traveled through him. “You’re hurting him, you’re hurting him!” Steve had to hold his friend back as the soldier went to rip off the wires from Tony’s chest. 

Bucky was cut off when suddenly, a weak gasp erupted from Tony’s mouth. Bucky broke free from Steve’s hold and moved back to Tony’s side. He helped Bruce roll Tony over as the genius started throwing up water. “Hey doll, I'm right here, okay? You’re gonna be fine.”

Tony groaned in pain, but his finger twitched at hearing Bucky’s voice. He laid motionless as the water drained from his lungs, his face slowly gaining color. Everything was foggy and blurry but he could hear his Bucky and that was all that matters. Even if his lungs were screaming and he couldn’t move and he hated being wet and his stomach felt like he got smacked with a boulder, he still had his Bucky, so he knew things would be okay. 

“He needs to go to a hospital,” Bruce said. 

“No,” Tony whispered weakly, eyes still closed. 

“Do you know how much bacteria is in lake water? How many illnesses he can get from swallowing it?” Bruce frowned.