Archive of Our Own ^beta

He would like to wrap that red bandanna around his neck.

Dr. Phil imagined the feel of his bobbing throat against his fingers as they choked him tightly, would he enjoy that? Or underneath his manly looks would there be lying someone who fancied gentle hands. Slow and agonizing pace until they finally, finally reach the heavenly bliss they sought for almost what felt like an eternity. He was fine with both. He was fine and desperate for he sought what seemed like the impossible.

As he kept bringing up this filthy imagery in his mind he felt the pang of jealousy. He was not enough for the gorgeous man that laid before him, right now a mere patient in his eyes. He was a mere psychiatrist, a nerd, someone who Ricardo, a jock, with at least twenty percent muscle increase, would not look twice if they passed by.

That was all they shared, mutual respect between a doctor and a patient no more would they be and Dr. Phil felt jealous of the person someday that would hold Ricardo in their arms and treat him right the way he deserved to be treated.

The monologue in his head, as usual, happened during one of their bi-weekly check-up sessions. Although it was quite unethical and shameful fur that matter. DR. Found that he practically could not take his eyes from Ricardo’s defined biceps. Almost as if teasing, Ricardo kept moving his arms while he talked and carelessly flexed his muscular body. No man could resist the temptation.

“Are you okay doc’?” Ricardo asked. Phil’s eyes were unfocused and hazy. “We could end the session if you want doc’, wouldn’t want you fainting on me now.” as he said these words his palm went for another man’s shoulder. Doc’ was burning under his hands and Ricardo instantly understood something was wrong. “Hey doc’ would you mind coming a little over here for me.” he seized him up from his seat and laid him down on where he was lying down before and once again placed his gentle palm on his forehead. Dr. Phil heard a mantra almost like a chant.

No one could prepare him for what came next.

A series of images started flashing into the empty space between them. Ricardo inspected all of it thoroughly yet they flashed by so quick that Dr. Phil could not even decipher the images let alone slightly interpret their meaning.

“There’s no mistaking it doc’ you have contracted the COVID-19. I was not informed it would be this soon in the timeline. I will explain it all once I cure you of this. For now, just know that you are an important puzzle piece for most of us. For the ones that mean well.”

Phil was astonished, shocked, flabbergasted. There was not one word he could pick from his vocabulary to truly express his feeling for the current situation he was brought in. What the hell was the coronavirus..?

Ricardo did not give him the time to collect his thoughts however for the next thing he knew he was levitating and Ricardo was tracing a machine that looked like a laser to the entirety of his body.

“The shock waves will find the virus in your body and eradicate it before it takes over your body. You know with these viruses, one day they are a nationwide pandemic, and the next thing you know they mutate and eradicate the entire population of the world.”

After Ricardo stopped him from levitating, Dr. Rose to his feet and asked “Who are you, Ricardo?”,

“Oh me? I’m just an agent. You, however, are a key part of the puzzle. The grand scheme of things you know, or some shit like that… Also your husband.” he told him as he smiled warmly. “I’m from the future nice to meet you, my love.”

It almost all made perfect sense. This was beyond anything he could imagine. “Wait so all this time you were playing with me? Why?”

“Well babe coincidentally your role in history was not to be the person who would tie the know with this marvel right here,” he told as he indicated his chest muscles which were now moving.

“I came here to do what I just did. To end the pandemic that would later bring humanity to the brink of extinction.” he stopped for a second to gather his thoughts. “there is also something I must tell you first. I will now begin to disappear cuz' we’ve changed an entire timeline. I don’t belong here… We may never meet again. My plan was to ask you to make a promise. The promise that you would find me. I’m sorry babe. You just turned out to be the first person to contract and then spread this awful pandemic. You survived however 4/5 of humanity didn’t… I had to make a choice…” Dr. Hushed his blabbering and took him under his arms. He did not get what the fuck was going on but form what he got he understood that his future self SOMEHOW scored this hotty. He gave his future self a high five and said “I understand my love… and I promise…. Now can we bang one last time before you disappear?” (this quote is too fucking long lmao)

After that Ricardo was almost like under a spell and he marveled under his attention. What happened was not sex but love-making, intense and beautiful. Ricardo’s ten-inch monster cock overwhelmed Dr. Phil at first but since Ricardo, being the alpha male that he is, told him that it would be okay to not go all the way for now and that he would also savor the opportunity of spending time giving and taking pleasure in more a convenient manner.

“I... want to hold you...” told Dr. Phil with big doe eyes. “I never knew you would be the love of my life but you are also the object of my most intimate sexual fantasies.”

“What do you seek from me my dear physician.” asked Ricardo with great interest, “I will give you anything you seek my dear. You only have to ask.”

“I... Nevermind... It is yet too early to make such filthy demands from someone as kind and brave as you, my dear Ricardo. Forget I said anything.”

“But please my love, you are my soulmate my dearest, tell me for I could never judge you,” Ricardo exclaimed as he was now frustrated by not being trusted by the one he trusts the most.

“Well alright...” Dr. Phil hesitated. “I would like to... hold hands with you, Ricardo.”

Hearing this, Ricardo’s face instantly went into a frown. This was blasphemous. Holding hands? With another person who had been infected with the virus. Absolutely unacceptable. It couldn’t be the case that he actually misdiagnosed Dr. Phil and he was not infected with the coronavirus but rather something much more vile and dangerous. No way that was impossible. His blood was chilled from the sheer terror of thinking about this possibility.

“Babe can I ask you something?” the diagnosis for this disease was even easier than the other because there was no need for any tools, you did not need tools to observe permanent brain damage.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can you tell me, what do you think about being forced to wear masks in public during a pandemic lockdown?”

Dr. Phil started screaming racial slurs and started repeating the line ‘go home’ and trashing around. The instant breakdown was an obvious sign of the disease. The Karen disease.

Ricardo had to make a call to the base station. Although he was heartbroken and disappointed, he had to exterminate the target. He cursed the cruel world and his ugly fate that forced him to kill the love of his life. Yet Dr. Phil was a lost cause, he knew this, he saw it first hand, how the disease evolved. It all started by rejecting wearing masks, a common courtesy among uninfected people. Their delusions further worsened when they refuse vaccines claiming they are, in fact, a government tool to make more money and will actually get their kids to be autistic. Further down the line, they become even more damaging to the society and general welfare by claiming that the earth is actually flat and NASA is a government ploy to control the American population and them and their Facebook group that feeds on conspiracy theories and think that they are the only people who are woke and not a sheep of the government. Male Karens like Dr. Phil were rare but not impossible. This was worse than Ricardo could ever imagine.

Ricardo’s faction of scientists in the year 2075, had endured significant material damages from lawsuits and their scientific works which would save humanity from suffering further from diseases such as COVID-19 and the Karen disease. Ricardo came here, to the year 2020, to alter the path of COVID-19 not knowing it would increase the growth o

Once humanity thought their end would come from a nuclear war, nobody would think it would be the Karen disease that would halt their development more than anything in the history of our species.

Karen disease had no cure.

If Ricardo wanted to save the world like he originally intended, like the way the organization ordered him to whilst they were planning to send him for this mission, he would have to kill the love of his life once and for all. An abrupt change to the plans and he would then be celebrated by the commanding officers and loved by the entire Mars colony population which was led by Elon Musk and Grimes. Mostly Grimes. Gaining her favor would gain him everything he ever hoped for or dreamed.

Or... I could delete his memories, Ricardo thought. He would forget me, everything we built together but he would keep his sanity.

He put his plan together in about 45 minutes, being the certified genius alpha male that he is. The rest was history.

Nobody could really foresee what became of them.

***

The show was airing on its usual time and Ricardo was sitting on his couch to watch it.

‘Why isn’t he back home in 2075?’ you might ask.

That’s because he was stranded in this timeline. By deleting Dr. Phil’s memories, Ricardo altered the chain of events too much to be able to go back home. His time machine was not able to calculate and transport into 2075, back where he came from. The change was drastic, it was too much.

He had later decided upon the next course of action. He would fight with the Karen virus with the power of dank memes.

He only had his hopes and his red bandana he would find a way to save the world and go back into his timeline.

One viral video at a time.