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If She Had Stayed

Summary:

A brief look into the alternate timeline of the Caulfields not leaving for Seattle.

Notes:

TW: Minor implied suicide.

Chapter 1: BLACK DRESS | 2008

Chapter Text

Max didn't know what to say. She had an argument with her parents at the wake, and refused to leave with them. She was going to leave and go back with the Prices, and nothing they said would change her mind. It wasn't like she didn't spend any time at Chloe's - she almost spent more time there than she did her own home, which was a mere five minute walk away. All she knew was that Chloe was hurting, and she hated it.

She sat quietly in Joyce's car as they drove back to the Price household, afraid to say a word to her or her best friend, who was sitting silently next to her. Chloe seemed completely numb, unable to process anything external. She had been in a similar state since Joyce had come home that day, and Max just didn't know what to do. This wasn't the Chloe she knew.

No one spoke as the car reached the house, Joyce parking it in the driveway. They silently made their way to the door, and Chloe headed straight up the stairs, Max following mutely. She could hear Joyce's sobs as she closed the front door behind them, and Max was suddenly eager to be holed up in Chloe's room. She didn't know how to handle one person's grief, but she certainly didn't know how to handle two.

Chloe's knees seemed to give out once she had reached the safety of her room, her arms wrapping around herself as she fell, curled into the fetal position on the floor. Max closed the door behind them before sitting down next to Chloe. She reached a tentative hand out to rest on Chloe's back, feeling the blonde's body shaking. It took her a second to realize that Chloe was crying.

Chloe didn't cry often, at least not in front of Max. She could only remember three other times - the time Chloe broke her wrist after jumping off the swing on a self-imposed dare, when they were having their backyard funeral for Bongo, and three days ago. She had always been good at pushing down negative feelings, at least when she wasn't alone.

But here she was, breaking right in front of Max, and this wasn't something that Max could relate to. Bongo was the only other being she had known who had died, and that wasn't a lot to go off of. She didn't know what to do, so she kept her hand on Chloe's back, moving it ever so gently.

Chloe was the one that ended up moving first, turning over so she could rest her head on Max's lap. Chloe was still curled up, but now it was partially around Max, and one of her hands gripped Max's dress, as if afraid Max was going to leave, too.

Devoid of a back to rub, Max started gently stroking Chloe's hair. Max liked it when her mom did the same thing, and she must have done something right, as Chloe was starting to quiet down, her face gradually relaxing. The hand gripping Max's dress loosened, although there was a definite mark where it had wrinkled.

She heard Chloe whispering something, but it was far from audible. Max didn't have the heart to tell her that she had no idea what she was saying. It might not have been meant for her ears, anyways.

After what felt like an eternity, Chloe sat up, her long blonde hair hiding her face. She leaned into Max's shoulder, and it seemed like she was trying to pace her breathing with Max's.

"This sucks, Max," she finally said, her voice breaking.

"I know, Chloe. I-I don't know what to do," Max admitted.

"Just stay with me, please?" There was such pain in Chloe's voice that Max automatically nodded, carefully moving her arm so she could put it around Chloe. They sat in silence for a while - Max didn't know how long it was, but Chloe needed her to stay, and that she could do.

"I keep thinking that...this is a dream," Chloe said quietly, her voice shaking. "That at some point I'm gonna wake up, and it'll be morning, and everything is back to the way it was."

"I don't blame you, Chloe. I wish it was a dream, too."

Selfishly, she wished she could have her carefree friend back.

They sat on the floor for a little more time before Chloe slowly got to her feet. Max could see her face fully now - her eyes were red, and she looked exhausted. She moved so sluggishly that Max was momentarily afraid she might pass out, but made it over to her bed before falling down on to it, laying on her back.

Max got to her feet as well, rocking on her heels. "Do you need anything?" she asked, desperate to have something to do.

There was a brief pause. "Maybe some water," Chloe said quietly, staring up at the ceiling.

"S-sure, I'll be right back, okay?" Chloe didn't make any sign of acknowledgment, but Max was certain she had heard. The room was otherwise silent, after all.

Out in the hallway, Max exhaled heavily. If water is what Chloe wanted, Max would move heaven and earth to get her some water. As stupid as it sounded in her head, it felt good to have something to do, some sort of purpose.

As she headed down the stairs, she heard Joyce sniffling in the living room. Max wasn't sure if she could handle a second Price crying session, but her curiosity got the better of her, as it usually did. Joyce's oversized hat was sitting on the coffee table, and she was sitting on the sofa with her elbows on her knees, face buried in her hands. Max slowly walked closer, until she was in front of the sofa.

"Hi, Joyce," she said quietly, relieved when Joyce didn't jump. There was no response at all, actually. Max sat down next to her, once again at a loss of what to do. She decided to try putting her hand on Joyce's back, just like what she had done with Chloe.

"Oh, Max, you are too good to us," Joyce said quietly, wiping her eyes as she sat up, trying to compose herself. "How's Chloe?" She shook her head before Max could respond. "Never mind that, foolish question."

"It's alright, Joyce. I know you're worried about her," Max replied, watching the woman she considered a second mom carefully.

"Worried?" She almost laughed, a humorless shell of a laugh. "Hell, I'm worried about all of us right now."

For the last three days, Max had been worried about Chloe's sanity, and dealing with her own grief, but now she realized just how much this had impacted Joyce, too. William wasn't just Chloe's dad, after all. She finally took a good look at Joyce, and realized she looked like she had aged a few years in the last couple of days.

"I'm not really good at this whole...grieving thing," Max admitted, and there was the start of a genuine smile on Joyce's face. "I don't know what to say, or what to do..."

"You being here is enough, Max." Joyce patted her knee, and Max felt a little twinge of guilt that she was making Joyce comfort her on what had to be one of the worst days of her life. "For what it's worth, I'm glad you're here, for my sake and For my daughter's."

"Speaking of Chloe, I was going to grab her some water, are you-"

Joyce leaned over to pull Max into a hug. "Sweetie, I'm fine, alright? I can take care of myself."

Chloe was sitting up on the bed, facing away from the door, when Max walked back in. She was now wondering if the water was just a reason for Max to leave the room, so Chloe could be alone. But she asked me to stay.

"I got your water, Chloe." There was no verbal response, but she heard a sigh coming from the bed. Max placed the glass down on the bedside table, twisting her fingers together awkwardly as she stood by the bed. She was about to ask Chloe if she needed anything else when the blonde's neck turned, half looking at Max.

"How could he fucking do this to us?" Chloe muttered, her eyes still red, but free of tears.

Max frowned, her fingers pausing their nervous twisting. "What?"

Chloe turned to look at her fully, and Max was worried about the glint in her eyes. She seemed...angry. "My dad. How could he just...leave?"

Max opened and closed her mouth once, trying to figure out what the right thing to say was. "It was an accident, Chloe. He didn't want this."

"It's not fair." She had gotten to her feet, starting to pace in front of the window. "It's not fucking fair!" Chloe's fist came down against the wall, and Max heard her inhale sharply as the drywall dented.

"Chloe!" Those blue eyes turned on her, the anger subsiding. "You're scaring me."

Chloe seemed speechless for a moment, before the last of the anger burned out into more numbness. She fell back onto the bed, her outburst over as she stared back up at the ceiling. "You don't have to stay here if you don't want to, Max."

It felt like a test, almost a dare. Max was many things, and brave was usually not one of them, and maybe Chloe thought she would cave like normal. "No." The word came out so forcefully that Chloe actually looked over at her, confused. "I'm not going anywhere, Chloe. I promise."

The ghost of a smile formed on Chloe's face, her red eyes taking in Max's determined expression. "Okay," she muttered, patting the bed next to her. Max quickly laid down on the bed, not wanting to give Chloe the chance to take back her single word agreement.

They laid in companionable silence for a few minutes, staring up at the ceiling, before Chloe turned her head to look at her. She didn't say anything, and Max didn't want to accidentally set her off, so she kept her Own eyes on the ceiling. After a few more minutes, she glanced over, realizing that Chloe had fallen asleep.

After a day like today, sleep sounds good. Max shifted on the bed a little to get more comfortable before dozing off as well, hoping tomorrow would be a better day.

Chapter 2: HIGH | 2009

Chapter Text

"Maaaax, come on, you're such a chickenshit! Get up here already!" Chloe was leaning over the railing inside the lighthouse, watching Max pace at the bottom of the ladder. She was laughing, still full of adrenaline after having slipped on the last rungs leading to the very top. The thrill seemed to be half the enjoyment for her.

Max, on the other hand, was full of fear. She didn't mind heights, per se, but she at least wasn't throwing self preservation to the wind. "No way, I'm going to hurt myself!"

Chloe giggled, sticking her tongue out. "Psh, what a baby!" She was laying on the top floor, one of her arms dangling down next to the ladder. She still seemed quite pleased with herself. "C'mon, we've never been up this far before."

"Yeah, because they normally have the ladder guard locked," Max countered. The stairs were usually open to the public during the day, but for whatever reason, the safety mechanism keeping folks away from the very top had been unlocked when they wandered in. "If anyone comes in and catches us..."

Chloe snorted, the sound echoing down. "Max, no one's coming. Get your ass up here."

Max grumbled to herself for a moment. "Maybe I'll just leave you up there," Max called smugly.

"Oh, please, you couldn't leave me if you tried." Chloe had a point, and Max knew it. "Max, c'mon. For me?"

With a sigh, she carefully grabbed the first rung at eye level. Having watched Chloe scramble up with no fear and then have her foot slip, dangling from one hand for a few seconds, made her extra cautious. She could hear Chloe groaning about her speed, but after a minute, she finally got to the top, where Chloe smacked her back triumphantly.

"Chloe, careful! I could still fall!" Max automatically yelled, gripping the ladder tightly as if she may tip off at any second.

"I knew you had it in you, Mad Max," Chloe teased, wandering away from her. Max carefully pulled herself out of the hole, moving far enough away from it to feel slightly more secure before sitting down. "Next, we'll go cliff diving."

"The hell we will!" Max crossed her legs in front of her, her heart still pounding from the adrenaline. "Do you know how cold the ocean would be? Or how far of a drop that is?"

"Dude, that's literally the reason you do it," Chloe responded, still wandering around the surprisingly empty floor, looking disappointed. Max had expected something to be up here, but with the exception of the actual light of the lighthouse rotating well above their heads, the floor was empty. "It's boring up here. Why did we climb up?"

Max glared at her, hand to her chest. "Chloe, are you serious?"

"Dead serious." She sighed, dropping to the floor next to Max. "Here I thought there would be something exciting up here, with the locking thing and everything."

Max laid down on her back, looking up at the impressive contraption. It seemed a lot bigger this close up. "Guess they just don't want people messing with the actual light."

"Psh. That's boring." Chloe laid down too, her foot was rocking back and forth, hitting Max's every now and then. It was slightly annoying, but it was also Chloe, and Max didn't mind all that much. Chloe looked over at her, still looking very disappointed. "Want to run down to Two Whales and get Joyce to cook for us?"

Max laughed, looking up at the rotating light above them. "I'm surprised your mom hasn't made us start working there, for all the food we eat."

Chloe sat up, looking at her as if she'd grown an extra head. "You've never complained about free food before," she stated, eyebrows knitting together. "Are you sick or something?"

Max shrugged, still amused. "I'm not complaining about free food, just that it's still surprising that your mom keeps feeding us." She glanced over at Chloe, who had crossed her legs and started picking at the rubber soles of her shoes. "Is she still seeing that guy?"

Chloe made a disgruntled noise. "The army dude? Yeah." She shook her head, pulling harder on the rubber. "He called me girly the other day, who does that?"

"Apparently old army dudes," Max supplied, glad to see a smirk cross Chloe's face at the jab. "Joyce seemed excited about their date the other day. She must really like him."

"I still think she's dropping Dad way too fast," Chloe scowled, jerking her hand away from her shoes before she could actually damage them. "It's barely been a year, and she's already jumping on a new guy."

"Chloe," Max scolded. She had been very aware of how hard Joyce had taken William's death, and had also noticed how much happier she had been the last few weeks since meeting David. "She's just lonely."

"And I'm not?" Chloe's eyebrows were raised, her expression quickly turning dark.

Max winced dramatically, grinning a little bit. "Ouch. You have me, dork."

Chloe looked somewhat sheepish after that comment, her shoulders sagging a little. "Max, I had you before," she responded, the dark expression replaced with a half smile.

"I mean...yeah, but still. You have me."

It felt weaker the second time she said it, and Chloe must have noticed. She reached a hand out to rest on Max's knee, giving her a warmer smile. "I know. And I wouldn't trade you for the world." She shook Max's knee, jumping to her feet. "Now c'mon, I'm done being sappy. Let's get food."


"Girls, one of these times I'm gonna start putting you both to work on dishes," Joyce commented as she set their plates down in front of them.

"You sound just like Max," Chloe groaned, watching Max giggle from across the table.

"And you ought to be more like her," Joyce quickly countered, giving Chloe a firm stare. "I think we know who my favorite daughter is, don't we?"

"C'mon Joyce, you know I'm the fun one." The woman visibly flinched at the sound of her name - Chloe had been rebelling against calling her "Mom" since David had come into the picture. Max thought it was awfully petty, but there were some battles not worth fighting when it came to Chloe. If that was as much as she was going to "rebel", it seemed pretty harmless.

"Well, maybe have a little less fun and do a little more school work, alright?" She gave Chloe a concerned look before heading off to refill coffee. Chloe watched her go, suddenly looking drained.

"Got some bad grades or something?" Max asked, chewing on one of her slices of bacon. No matter the time of day, she would always choose breakfast food at the Two Whales.

Chloe shrugged, prodding at her own food with her finger. "School's stupid," she muttered, picking at the bun of her burger.

Max stared back at her, confused. "You love school." Chloe had always been the better student of the two of them - and not just anyone can get into Blackwell, especially on an academic scholarship. It had been one of the few things Max found herself jealous about.

"No, I tolerated school." She leaned back in the booth as she continued staring at her food. "The kids at Blackhell are shit. Wish I could just go to Arcadia High with you."

Max didn't know how to respond to that - if she could go to Blackwell, she'd be there in a heartbeat. And not just so she'd be going to school with Chloe again. "Well, if you did come back to the public school system, I might let you sit with me at lunch," she commented, smirking a little.

She snorted, grabbing her burger again. "Don't tempt me. At least there would be someone who wanted to sit with me." Chloe froze with her food halfway to her mouth, realizing what she had said. "Fuck, I- don't worry about it, okay?"

But Max was worrying about it. Chloe had a tendency to bottle things, and the last thing Max wanted was her to try it now. "Chloe, what's going on?"

"I'm fine Max, really." She sounded confident, but the way she was eagerly avoiding eye contact said otherwise.

Max crossed her arms, feeling a pout form on her face. "Really?"

"Don't look at me like that, okay?" Chloe shoved her mouth full of food, probably to give herself an excuse not to talk, but she seemed to be struggling to chew. Max sat still, watching her finally swallow. "If I tell you, will you shut up and eat your dinner?"

"Yes."

"Fine." She set her burger down again, scratching behind her ear before running a hand through her strawberry blonde locks. "A lot of the people at Blackwell are just snobs, alright? They give everyone a hard time, not just me."

Max frowned slightly. It was an answer, but she didn't like Chloe's previous comment about sitting alone at lunch. "Name one person you talk to on a regular basis there."

"Stephanie Gingrich." It was way too quick of a response to be a lie, although Max felt her eyes narrow anyways. Chloe shrugged, grabbing a french fry off her plate and waving it around. "She's a big movie buff, and burns copies of them for people who want them. Big nerd, but we get along pretty well."

Max's arms relaxed, but she was still watching Chloe carefully. "You don't have to try to hide stuff like this from me, Chloe. You know that, right?"

Chloe looked up at her, a small smile on her face. "I know Max, sorry." She dug into her plate again, and Max followed suit, hoping that Chloe wouldn't keep hiding secrets from her.

Chapter 3: BURNING RED | 2010

Chapter Text

"So, who is she?"

Chloe blinked at Max, looking dumbfounded as she closed her bedroom door. "What? Who?" Chloe's voice sounded confused, as if this was a random question, but her body language said otherwise. She was suddenly tense, looking like she was about to bolt back out the door.

Max responded with a knowing look. "Chloe, I'm not stupid, I heard your mom chewing you out a minute ago." She didn't hear nearly as much as she let on, but it took a lot to get Chloe to skip school. Sure, she'd ham it up for a sick day if she had so much as a runny nose, but she was above randomly missing class. There was only one reason she could think of that would make Chloe willingly skip school.

"Fuck you and your Vulcan hearing," Chloe grumbled, scowling at her.

"Who is she?" Max asked again, extra curious now. She leaned her head against the desk chair, watching.

"None of your business, that's who," Chloe retorted, crossing her arms. She truly seemed tempted to run out the door, possibly to go back to being yelled at by her mother.

"Chlooooe."

"Fuck off, Max!" Chloe's voice raised in volume as she snarled.

If it was anyone but Chloe, Max might have felt intimidated by the glare she was receiving. Instead, she snickered at Chloe's attempts to shut the conversation down. "Wowser, you're in deep."

Chloe was frowning, now trying not to look in her direction. "Cut it out."

"I learned persistence from the best."

"Fuck, fine," Chloe muttered, defeated. Her arms uncrossed as she shoved her hands into her pockets and walking towards her."Her name is Rachel," she muttered, leaning against the wall by the desk.

"Does Rachel have a last name?" Max teased, grinning. This was far from Chloe's first admitted crush, but so far, it had been the most exciting to try to pry out of her. Max could understand why Chloe liked teasing answers out of her so much. It certainly was fun being on the inquisitor side of things for a change.

There was a pregnant pause as Chloe grumbled to herself, before speaking up. "Amber."

It was Max's turn to frown - she knew that name, seeing as it was staked all over town for the upcoming elections. "The DA's daughter?"

"Yes, the fucking DA's daughter, what's it to you?" She seemed so upset about the whole situation, and Max really wasn't sure what to think about it.

"Why are you being so defensive?" she asked, eyebrows knitting together.

"Why are you being so nosy?" Chloe snapped back. She was gritting her teeth, trying not to look at Max.

"Chloe," Max said flatly, a little hurt. "You're my best friend. I thought this was the kind of stuff we're suppose to talk about?"

"So?" The response was so pointed, so blunt, that Max felt as if Chloe had hit her. "Jesus, Max, I don't have to tell you everything! You're such a nosy bitch!" Chloe immediately bit her lip following her outburst, looking apologetic. Max was already on her feet, turning her back to Chloe and moving towards the door. "Max, wait, I'm sorry."

Max wasn't listening though, trying to breathe as she felt tears stinging her eyes. She heard Chloe stumbling after her, still calling her name. She ran down the steps, pulling the front door open as she tried to make a break for her house.

Chloe was faster than her, though, and caught her wrist before she had even made it out of the door. "Chloe, let go of me," Max whispered, trying to pull her arm free.

"No," Chloe responded, sounding desperate.

"Let go, Chloe. You don't want me here," Max snapped, trying to keep the tears out of her eyes.

"Max, I- no, fuck no-" Chloe's eyes were frantic, wide with fear. Fear of what - Max leaving? She didn't seem keen about having Max there, though.

"Why don't you want to tell me about Rachel?" Max demanded.

"I just- you wouldn't understand." Chloe still look scared, but her guard went up at the sound of Rachel's name.

Max finally wretched her wrist out of Chloe's grasp, shaking her head. "Bye, Chloe."

Chloe didn't follow her out the door. Max wasn't sure if that made her feel better or worse.


May 7th, 2010, 5:35PM

Chloe: max

Chloe: max please answer me

Chloe: i'm sorry, i don't know what else i can say

Chloe: max?

Max: leave me alone chloe


May 8th, 2010 4:42AM

Chloe: max please answer the phone

Chloe: i know you're up

Chloe: i can see your light on

Max: why are you outside my house?

Chloe: please just let me in.

Max groaned, getting off of her desk chair and moving downstairs. She hadn't made much progress on her paper, but thankfully she had a few more days to worry about it. Her parents were probably still asleep, so she was careful to jump the creaking step on her way down the stairs. No need to have someone else involved in whatever conversation was about to happen.

She could see Chloe pacing in front of the door through the panes. She froze when Max started opening the door, stepping out onto the porch. Max crossed her arms, trying her best to fix Chloe with a death glare. "What do you want?"

It hurt to be mad at her. It hurt to try to stay mad at her. But Max was mad, and Max didn't want to just lay down and let this brush past them.

Chloe looked worse for wear. She was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, and judging by the bags under her eyes, she hadn't slept. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she seemed to be quivering. "Max, I'm so fucking sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me." She paused, as if hoping Max would step in like she always did to try to comfort her, but that wasn't happening. Not this time. "You're my best friend in the whole world, and I love you to pieces, and I hate it when you get upset with me and I'm just trying to fix it, okay? And I don't know what you want me to do."

Max almost crumpled right there. Seeing Chloe in distress was one of her weak spots, and she knew that Chloe would never purposefully hurt her. All she wanted was to pull her into a bone crushing hug and let her know that it was alright, that they were fine.

"Chloe, you were hiding shit from me, and that really hurts," Max said, trying to tighten her grip on her own arms. She felt her resolve breaking, slowly but surely.

Those clear blue eyes were starting to tear up. "I know, I know, I was wrong. I'll never do it again, I promise."

She couldn't promise that, could she? Chloe would do whatever it took to make sure that Max was happy, even if that meant omitting the truth. That's how it had always been, for as long as they had been friends. Most of the time it didn't bother her, but then there would be times like these that Max wanted to strangle her, if only for a minute.

But Chloe would also never hurt her if she could help it, and Chloe needed her right now.

"Come here," Max finally muttered, unclenching her arms. Chloe shot forward, throwing her arms around Max. "You lie to me again and I kick you to the curb, got it?" It was meant as a joke, but it fell flat, almost sounding threatening.

"I promise, Max," Chloe choked out, shaking a bit.

Max pulled away from her, letting the smile she had buried finally come out. "Now come on, get your ass inside. It's cold out here." Chloe followed her quietly, but there was a bright smile on her face again.

Chapter 4: BONFIRE | 2011

Chapter Text

"C'mon, Max, just try it!" Rachel was offering the joint, still lounging in Chloe's lap as she stretched her arm towards Max. Her eyes were pleading, and Max fully understood how Chloe had fell under her trance. Rachel knew how to get what she wanted.

"Rach, she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to," Chloe responded quickly, casting a glance over at Max, who probably looked as uncomfortable as she felt. It had been Rachel's idea to invite Max to the pregame bonfire, which might have been a sweet gesture if it didn't seem like she was trying to get Max high the whole time.

Chloe hadn't invited her, and frankly, Max was okay with it. This wasn't her crowd, and Chloe respected that.

One of the other girls - Dana, maybe? - snagged the joint from Rachel's hand, ignoring her protest. "Jesus, Rachel, stop being such a bad influence on the today's youth."

Rachel scoffed a little, wrapping one arm around Chloe's neck as she reached out with her now-empty hand to try to grab Dana. "Dana, you're the same age as Max - do you want me to stop 'influencing' you as well?"

Dana froze, the joint still in her mouth. "Does that mean no more weed?"

"Yup," Rachel replied smugly, hand still held out.

Dana shrugged, inhaling and passing the joint back. "Influence away, then."

Chloe snorted. "I thought you guys couldn't be on anything before the game. Didn't one of your hype people get kicked out a few weeks ago?"

"The term you're looking for is 'cheerleader', Chloe, and yes, Melanie was bumping some stronger stuff and passed out at practice. Big whoop." Dana seemed to be a little upset, but Max thought it was less about their missing cheerleader and more that she didn't get a taste of the "stronger stuff".

Rachel was waving the joint near Max again, looking at her with big, pleading eyes. "Are you sure you don't want to try some? I'd help you shotgun it."

Chloe laughed at that, but one of her hands possessively clamped down on Rachel's thigh. "Stop trying to make out with Max. I'm the only one you can do that shit with, anyways."

"Is that so?" Rachel commented, batting her eyelashes. Max had to look away - she was used to Chloe and Rachel being all over each other, but she still felt uncomfortable with how open they were with their PDA.

One of the guys - Trevor - came back around the fire, waving a clinking box back and forth. "Your beverages, m'ladies." He grabbed a bottle out of the box, taking a seat next to Max. He offered it politely in her direction, and she shook her head quickly.

Rachel had been adamantly trying to set Max and Trevor up, even since Max had commented that she liked skater boys. As much as Max liked Trevor as a person, she wasn't interested in him. Besides, she had caught him a couple of times staring over in Dana's direction; she couldn't blame him. To keep Rachel off their backs, though, they ended up chatting a lot more than they would have otherwise.

"You going to the game too?" Trevor asked, popping the cap off the bottle and taking a sip.

Max shook her head. "I'm not a Bigfoot yet, and it's not like I would have a ton of school spirit if I was."

"Oh yeah, I forgot, Chloe mentioned you were applying. That'd be sweet if you got in."

Max shrugged, fiddling with her camera strap. She wasn't sure why she had brought her camera along at all, other than as a security blanket. "Blackwell's photography program is pretty stellar. It'd look great on college transcripts, that's for sure."

Trevor lifted his beer in a mock toast. "Well, here's to Blackhell, may you enter its distinguished halls with disgrace."

"Did I just hear that right? Maxster is applying to Blackwell?" One of the other boys called from across the fire. He was friends with Trevor, but Max couldn't remember his name. Jake? Justin? Something with a J.

Chloe was the first one to whistle and grin. "Yep, she's gonna be the next big thing. Always has been."

Rachel stood up, walking towards Max and trying to pull her onto her feet. Thankfully, she didn't pull too hard, and Max was able to keep her seat. "C'mon, Max, you brought your camera, take a picture of me!"

Max felt her face grow hot as she was pulled into the center of attention. She gripped her camera a little uncomfortably, not sure if she wanted to have proof of the debauchery of this party.

Chloe, meanwhile, was laughing, but had a slightly reproachful look on her face. "Rach, she's not your personal photographer."

"Shut it, Price, you're just jealous that she's not taking pictures of you," Rachel teased, flipping her off playfully.

Without further thought, Max quickly lifted the camera towards Chloe, joint still in her mouth, and clicked the shutter release button before Chloe could move any further. Chloe's eyes darted over to her in surprise, but she started grinning as Rachel began complaining about how unfair it was.


Chloe dropped Rachel off first, and Max had to awkwardly stare out her window as they said their passionate farewell. Chloe climbed back in to the truck with a content look on her face, watching Rachel go into her house.

"You two are so gross."

"Dude, you're just jealous," Chloe teased, but she looked a little embarrassed at being called out. "Just make a move on Trevor already."

"You are unbelievable," Max said, swatting at her. "You just goad Rachel to keep making comments about him. You know that, right?"

"Yes, because it is hilarious watching you get all uncomfortable," Chloe teased, looking quite pleased with herself now.

Max shook her head, groaning. "You're a terrible friend," she said confidently.

"I'd say I was the best, actually." She smirked as she put the truck into drive, easing back out onto the street. "Wanna do anything before I get you home? I could eat, if you're fine pushing your curfew."

Max rolled her eyes, a little irritated by the accusation. "I do not have a curfew, Chloe."

"Tell that to your mother. She gave me the cold shoulder last time I brought you home after nine."

"You smelled strongly of weed. I think she was a bit more upset about that," Max shot back, frowning. Vanessa had acted rather harshly towards Chloe for a few weeks after that incident, and it had taken a lot of arguing for Max to get her to behave around the blue-haired girl again.

"You make a valid point." There was a moment of silence before she continued. "So, Two Whales?"

"Joyce isn't working tonight?" Max asked.

Chloe's expression darkened as she stared out the windshield. "Fuck no. Stepdouche had her take the day off. Date night and shit."

"He's really not that bad of a guy, Chloe." Although David wasn't her favorite person by any means, he had never done anything negative towards Max - he understood she was just as much part of the family as Chloe was. He was no William, but he made Joyce happy, and that made Max happy.

Chloe snorted, shaking her head. "Great. You can swap houses with me then," she quipped, shifting the ancient gears of her truck.

"You push his buttons on purpose. If you stopped-"

Chloe's foot hit the brake harder than planned, and they both jerked forward, caught by their seatbelts. "I don't want to talk about him, okay? Fuck, and this was suppose to be a good night."

"Sorry."

"It's fine, Max." She had turned her directional on, heading on a side street that definitely did not lead to the diner.

"Where are we going now?"

"Lost my appetite. Just want to smoke out somewhere," Chloe muttered, eyes still dark.

Max knew better than to say anything.


Chloe was standing dangerously close to the cliff edge, and Max kept feeling her stomach clench whenever she would sway in the breeze. To compromise, she stood just a step behind her, ready to reach out if Chloe tipped too far.

Chloe already had an unlit cigarette between her fingers, watching it intently. "Know what I wish, Max? I wish my dad was still here."

Max sighed. "Me too. Your dad was always cool."

"Cool doesn't even begin to describe him." She fumbled with her pockets for a bit, tracking down her lighter. "If I ever come across a genie, I'd hella make sure he brings my dad back."

She watched Chloe light the cigarette, slightly entranced by the flame in the darkness. "As in, back to life out of the grave, as everything is right now, or that he never died?" Max asked.

"Don't know, don't care. But he'd be alive either way." A trail of smoke escaped her lips, pulled away by the wind. "What about you, Max? If you had one wish, what would it be?"

Watching Chloe on the cliff side, a lit cigarette dangling from her lips, Max thought she knew what she would wish for. She just wished Chloe could be happy, truly happy.

"I don't know. If I only got one wish, I'd really have to think about it," she responded, not wanting to disclose her thoughts.

Chloe snorted, flicking her spent cigarette off over the cliff side. Max hadn't realized how quickly it had all turned to ash - Chloe must have been really upset. "Figured it would be something about photography, knowing you," she muttered, watching the cigarette disappear into the darkness.

Max shrugged, although Chloe couldn't see it with her back turned. "But that's easy stuff, I can do all of that on my own."

"I like your confidence, Max. You can do anything you set your mind to." Chloe froze for a second, then laughed. "Shit, that's so fucking cliche."

Max laughed as well. "You're the one that said it."

"I heard. I hate myself for it." Chloe had lifted her arms up, resting her hands behind her head. She was quite for a few minutes, staring out into the bay. "Do you ever think about how...fragile, humans are?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we're all badass and shit, and can do just about anything we want, but one wrong move and-" She brought her hands together in a single loud clap. "Just fucking crazy."

"Chloe, are you okay?" The sudden change of topic scared her, and the thought of Chloe suddenly take a step off the cliff had her taking an unconscious step closer.

"Fine, Super Max, how 'bout you?" Chloe finally turned around, and she indeed looked okay, although there was a slight glean in her eye that Max couldn't quite place.

"Let's get you home, okay? I'll drive," Max said quickly. She wasn't sure what was going through Chloe's head, but a good sleep would at least help her sober up from whatever thoughts she was having.

"Oooooo, you don't even have a driver's license, Maxine," Chloe commented, grinning as she pulled out her keys, dangling from a finger. "Let's hope Officer Barry isn't looking for little brunettes who never passed their driver's test."

"I have you as my personal chauffeur, Chloe. Why would I need to have my license?" Max teased, trying to snatch the keys out of her hand. Chloe jerked her hand back before Max could make contact, grinning.

"When I'm hella drunk, that's why," Chloe joked, climbing behind the wheel before Max could protest any further. "And I'm not doing that when I have your precious ass to haul."

Chapter 5: LIAR LIAR | 2012

Chapter Text

"Rachel can go fuck herself for all I care."

Chloe was being moody, pacing in front of the lighthouse bench, and Max was getting tired of it. She didn't know what Rachel had done this time, but it had obviously pissed Chloe off more than usual. For a couple that had been together for nearly two years, it was amazing how much they fought without breaking up. But time and time again, Rachel did something to piss Chloe off, Chloe would bitch and moan about it for a few days, and then they'd make up and everything would be fine for a few weeks.

Max had wished multiple times that they would just break up for good. She and Rachel got along fine when they were together, but she was habitually hating the blonde's guts for the shit she kept putting Chloe through.

"Max, are you even fucking listening to me?" Chloe ranted, turning on her heel and walking towards Max.

Max lifted her hands in defeat. "Chloe, you know what I'm going to say."

"No, we're not breaking up," she responded stubbornly. "No way. Rachel - Rachel just needs time, you know? I get too up in her space sometimes." And just like that, it was no longer Rachel's fault, but Chloe's, and Max hated it.

Chloe threw herself onto the bench, nearly knocking into Max off of it when their shoulders hit. "Tell me a story, Mad Max. Get my mind off my own shit."

Max shrugged a little, exhaling heavily. "Warren asked me out for the fifth time," she supplied.

Chloe laughed, but it was twisted, as if she didn't truly find it funny. "Jesus Christ, that boy is persistent. Gotta hand it to him, though, he really doesn't give up."

Max frowned, feeling slightly attacked. "That's what you said about Eliot Hampden, too," she retorted, knowing it would irritate Chloe.

"Fucking hell, Max!" She threw a punch in Max's direction, but she was grinning. "I said not to talk about my shit!"

"Is it bad I still find that whole situation funny?" Max asked, giggling a little. "He followed you around for weeks, like a lost puppy."

Chloe groaned, her head leaning back to stare up at the sky. "I mean, I guess? But you weren't the one awkwardly boning him."

Max made a retching sound automatically. "Oh my dog, Chloe, gross."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot the Virgin Maxie was in the room," she teased.

Max groaned, shaking her head. "Do you really have to make it sound like a bad thing?"

"C'mon, you know I'm just teasing you." She patted down her pockets until she found her cigarettes, pulling one out. Her eyes flicked over, slightly fearful at a lack of response. "Right, Max?"

"Yes, Chloe, I've known you long enough to know when you're just being a smartass."

"Good. You, ah, got me worried there for a sec." She fiddled with her cigarette for a second before lighting it up. "Can I, uh, say something crazy?"

"Everything that comes out of your mouth is crazy."

"Touché." A little smirk appeared at the corner of her mouth, before gradually fading into a somber expression. "Sometimes I wish I wasn't dating Rachel."

"Then break up with her," Max said immediately. As she had done many times before.

She shook her head, looking back up at the sky. "It's not that easy, Max."

"The hell it's not. Just tell her its over."

"Jeez, don't get all up on my jock, okay?" Chloe sounded annoyed, but was taking a few deep breaths to steady herself. "I said sometimes, not...all the time."

"Chloe, you know how I feel about this," Max said quietly. She really didn't want to have the same conversation over and over again. That made her no better than Rachel.

Chloe sighed, digging out a cigarette and her lighter. "I know, and it sucks. I wish I didn't have to worry about you two going at it all the time."

Max frowned, crossing her own arms. "Uh, we do not 'go at it'." They were pretty civil in person, she thought. Most people seemed to think the three of them hung out all the time.

"Not to each other's faces, you don't." Chloe shook her head, pulling her beanie off for a second to get at an itch on the top of her head. "It's hella fucking annoying sometimes. Like, I'm Switzerland, leave me out of your bullshit."

"What does she say about me, then?" Max inquired, raising an eyebrow.

Chloe stared back at her for a second, cigarette hanging from her lips. "I am not going there," she muttered as she shoved the hat back on.

"Chloe, you can't say shit like that and not expect me to want to know!"

She groaned, shaking her head as she looked off over the water. "Fine, Max. She mostly just bitches about you wanting to spend time with me, and she thinks your hipster act is bullshit."

"Neither of these things seem particularly bad." She had been expecting a lot worse, especially coming from Rachel.

"She's just really jealous, you know? And, I mean, I'm the same way sometimes, and she knows it, so she'll rub it in my face, like yesterday."

Max sighed, resigning herself to actually listen to the horrors of Rachel Amber. "What did she do this time?"

"Started flirting with Hayden. Poor guy didn't know what hit him - it was pretty funny, but that's not the point. Point is, she knows I hate it when she does that shit."

"Do you worry she's going to, you know, cheat?" Chloe was silent, puffing out smoke, and Max's jaw dropped. "Shit, she already did?"

The blue-haired girl shrugged, looking out over the bay. She dropped the spent cigarette, grinding it into the ground with her boot. "Yeah. About a year ago."

"You're just telling me this now?" Max heard her voice pitch up in frustration. "What the hell, Chloe?"

"Jesus, this is why I didn't want to tell you!" Chloe quickly lit up a second cigarette as she shook her head. "She was out of town with her parents on a cruise. She messed around with some guy while she was there." She shrugged, looking as if she had just been kicked. "She told me as soon as she got back. We had fought right before the left, she just wasn't in a good mindset, okay?"

"'A good mindset'? Chloe, fuck that, she cheated on you." She couldn't get her mind around it, how Chloe kept letting Rachel run her into the ground - did she not realize that this was fucked up? That Rachel would keep taking advantage of her?

Chloe raised a hand defensively. "Stop. Please. I don't need you beating me up about it, too. I already know I'm a piece of shit."

And that's where it stemmed, just like Max had always thought. Chloe wasn't staying out of convenience or love - she was staying because that's what she thought she deserved.

Max would never do that to her.

The thought entered her brain unwillingly, and it was now permanently stuck in her head. It felt like everything clicked into place. She wasn't harboring jealous feelings because she wanted to keep her best friend to herself, she wanted Chloe, wanted her in a way that was far from platonic. She wasn't sure when that had started, but now it was the only thing that made sense.

No way in hell would she admit that. That was something she didn't want to hang over Chloe's head. Especially knowing that Rachel was apparently already jealous of her.

She jumped when Chloe started waving her hand in front of her face. "Earth to Max?"

Max shook her head, trying to stuff those inappropriate thoughts away. "Sorry, just...sorry."

Chloe was watching her suspiciously. Moments like this made Max very glad that Chloe couldn't read her mind, regardless of what ten-year-old Chloe had once told her. "You were thinking pretty hard over there."

"Oh, yeah, just...you know, how I would kick Rachel's ass if I could," she responded, hoping that telling a partial truth would help sell her mental slip.

Chloe studied her for a second before shaking her head, groaning. "Of course you would."

"I could take her," Max pouted, poking at Chloe's stomach.

"Max, if you're trying to make me feel better, you're doing a shitty job," Chloe grumbled, but the corners of her mouth were tugging up as she tried to catch Max's invading fingers.

"I'm choosing to be selfish and only think of myself."

"Oh really?" A surprised look appeared on Chloe's face, along with a goofy smile as she thought about it. "That doesn't sound like the Max I know."

She shrugged, trying to act mysterious. "Maybe I swapped places with the Max you know. Maybe I'm her...her evil twin."

Chloe was laughing now. "How evil? Are we talking burglary, arson, murder?" She seemed suddenly cheerful, as if imaging Max doing nefarious things was something worth getting excited about.

"Wouldn't you love to know," she muttered, staring over the water in a vain attempt to calm herself down. Chloe was in a better mood, but now Max felt as if she had jumped headfirst into the ocean, full of turmoil.

Chapter 6: CLOSE | 2013

Chapter Text

The memorial was private, and Max felt very much like she shouldn't go. Everyone knew she had been on rough terms with Rachel towards the end, and she felt her appearance wouldn't be welcomed. Chloe had refused to let go of Max's hand, though, so she begrudgingly went into the funeral home with her.

She didn't know what she was going to say to either of the Ambers besides generic condolences. She still wasn't sure what to say to Chloe, and she had been crashing at the Price household for the last couple of days.

The six months Rachel had been missing had been rough on Chloe, but she had been starting to come to terms with it when the police came across Rachel's body. The ocean wasn't kind to recovered bodies, and with no witnesses, officials had come to the conclusion that she had jumped by the lighthouse.

Chloe had absolutely shut down when she heard the news. She was just a shell of herself. And to make matters worse, Max had been toying with the idea of trying to make a move on Chloe - the two were closer than ever, and she was pretty sure Chloe kept flirting with her. Now, all of that was on standby.

Chloe came first.

She only recognized the man Chloe was hugging from his ads on TV. James Amber looked quite calm, nowhere near as upset as Max would have expected him to be. Then again, his daughter had been missing for six months - he probably made his peace with the world a long time ago. Up close, he looked older than she thought he would be.

As Chloe moved to hug who she guessed was his wife, Mr. Amber reached a hand out to her in greeting. "Maxine, isn't it?"

Max felt a little awkward shaking hands with him at his daughter's funeral, but it was more comfortable than hugging a stranger. "Just Max, yeah."

He smiled as though it was his job - in some ways, it was. The light didn't quite reach his eyes, though, and Max wasn't surprised. "Ah, yes, Max. Rachel thought very highly of you. She always said you were a shining influence at Blackwell, and a good friend to Chloe."

It sounded like such bullshit - there was no way Rachel would have said those things, especially not in the last year. That wasn't the kind of thing you said about someone at their funeral, though. "Thank you, Mr. Amber."

His eyes squinted a little as he looked at her, thinking. "You and Chloe are childhood friends, correct?"

Max looked around the room for Chloe - she had moved into a corner, avoiding all eye contact as she slouched against one of the walls. "Yes, since we were really little. I don't even really remember meeting her, we were so young."

He chuckled a little, but the laugh still didn't quite reach his eyes. "Must be quite something." He clapped her shoulder in a fatherly sort of gesture that left her rather uncomfortable. "You take care of her, yes?"

"Absolutely." She had no idea what else to say to him, but thankfully he moved on to greet the next batch of people coming in. She didn't know where the woman she thought was Rachel's mom had went, so Max maneuvered through the growing crowd to get to Chloe, who was staring down at her feet.

"Hey, Max," Chloe said quietly, otherwise not moving. Her arms were crossed, as if she was trying to hold herself together. She just seemed so small, and Max hated it. "Can we get out of here?"

Max frowned a little - they had barely been in the funeral home for five minutes, and the service was far from starting. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I-I don't want to be here." Chloe sounded absolutely distraught, and Max automatically wrapped an arm around her shoulders. It was only because of how much Chloe was sagging that she was able to reach around without standing on her tiptoes.

"Sure, Chloe."

Max drove them home - she wasn't trusting Chloe's reflexes this week, license be damned. Chloe leaned her head against the window, silent. It was reminiscent of the drive home from William's funeral, and it sent a chill down Max's spine. She had to get out and open Chloe's door for her once they got back to the Price household, helping her down from the truck and wrapping a steering arm around her waist. Chloe let Max pull her into the house, up the stairs and into her room without a sound.

Max gently pushed her down onto the bed - she didn't know what Chloe wanted to do, but sleep seemed like a viable option from past experience. She pulled Chloe's boots off, but comfort didn't seem high on Chloe's list right now - she was limp, eyes half closed where she had fallen, as if any movement required more energy than she had to give.

It was killing Max to see her like this. She remembered how bad it had been when William died, but somehow this was worse. With William, there had been moments of anger, spots of happiness that poked through the grief. This nonstop numbness was harder to handle. All Max could do was sit down on the bed next to her, silently waiting for some way to help.

"Max," she finally whispered. Chloe's eyes were closed, but her hand reached out and closed around Max's wrist. "Stay with me?"

"Of course. Always." Max laid down next to her, letting Chloe rest her head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around her best friend, once again wishing she knew what to do.

"You being here is enough, Max." The echo of Joyce's words after William's funeral gave her a small boost of confidence. If it was enough then, hopefully it would be enough now.


It was a week before she saw Chloe smile again.

Max had her camera out, taking pictures of Joyce cooking, who complained as she always did. David wandered in, taking a peek at the developing stack of photos on the table. He waved them in Max's direction, grinning.

"I think it's neat that you're so invested with the 'old school' tech, Max. There's nothing quite like seeing the photo immediately. And I mean not on those little screens, you can't see anything on those."

Max smirked at him. "You know you can zoom in on the digital screens, David."

He grinned back at her, although he was crossing his arms in an attempt to look more gruff. "Not without reading glasses, I can't."

Max glanced over at Chloe, who had a ghost of a smile on her face. She wasn't quite happy today, but her mood definitely seemed more positive than normal.

"Can you kids stop staring at my photos? I'm trying to set the table!" Joyce swatted at Max and David, who both started complaining. "The term 'take a picture, it'll last longer' doesn't exist in this house anymore, alright Maxine? Lord knows you could make books out of the pictures you've taken of me over the years."

"Don't worry Max, I'll buy the first copy," David commented before yelping as Joyce threw a hand towel at him. He helped Max carefully stack the photos on the coffee table before they sat down, cowering a little under Joyce's stern glare.

Chloe still had the faintest of smiles, but Max could see a spark of life in her eyes, and it gave her hope.


Over the next month, Chloe gradually came back to life. Her smiles grew bigger, she started laughing again, and she just seemed genuinely happy.

Max was glad that she was feeling better, but felt a little strung along. Chloe had gotten into the habit of holding her hand and sitting extremely close on the couch, and Max kept reminding herself that Chloe probably didn't see it the way she did. It was just a comforting habit, one that Chloe never tried out in public, because she knew how people would take it.

Black Friday came around, and instead of shopping at the mall with Joyce and David, they hung out in the living room, watching reruns on the couch. Max wasn't really paying attention - Chloe had childishly decided to sit on her lap. Although she was very lanky, Chloe still weighed more than her, and Max's feet were gradually falling asleep.

"Damn, how much did you eat yesterday?" Max complained, pushing Chloe off so her butt was on the couch.

Chloe giggled at her, leaving her legs resting across Max's lap. Her arms were slung around Max's neck, though, keeping them close. "Not enough. I could have put away another pie if Joyce had one."

Max snorted. "No, you couldn't. I watched you trying to walk up the stairs."

"Stairs are considered a workout to some people. That was hard work." Chloe sounded disgruntled, like Max had insulted her pride.

"You're a dork, Chloe." She was well aware how close their faces were, how close they were. She could see every detail in Chloe's iris, as well as a nervous look on her face.

"But I'm your dork," Chloe murmured, and Max wasn't sure who moved first; all she knew was Chloe's lips were against hers, and her hand was in Chloe's hair, and everything was right with the world.