Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Jeongguk? You ready?”

Jeongguk checked the mirror above his dorm room dresser as he ran a hand through his hair before pulling on a ball cap.

“Yeah, I’m coming!” Jeongguk called back as he quickly pulled on a pair of Converse.

It had been a whole week since Jeongguk had moved into the dorms of Odaesan University in the seaside city of Gangneung, and he’d managed to get a room in one of the dorm suites with an upperclassman who hadn’t been able to afford to live off campus.

According to Jeongguk’s new roommate, Park Jimin, he’d rather spend his money on weed, booze, and the occasional steak dinner than live in his own apartment away from the underclassmen of their school.

“People act like it’s a fucking crime to be a senior and living on campus.” He’d said the first day Jeongguk had moved in.

“But I think they’re forgetting all the conveniences of campus life.”

Jeongguk had smiled thankfully as he listened to Jimin talk while he showed Jeongguk around the campus, giving Jeongguk some background on himself. Jeongguk finally had a roommate that was willing to talk to him and hang out, which had been the complete opposite of the roommates he had lived with in Seoul.

And it was also an icebreaker that Jimin was from Busan, just like Jeongguk, but from a different district. Regardless, Jeongguk had immediately felt as if it was fated for Jimin to be his roommate, and they became instant friends.

Jimin was two years older, a senior, and a dance major who worked part time at a dance studio in downtown Gangneung. He wore his hair in a shaggy cut, bleached blonde with crystal blue contacts that made him look like he was from somewhere a lot farther away than eastern South Korea.

He was shorter than Jeongguk and a lot more outgoing, which made it comfortable to be around him. Jeongguk didn’t have to worry about filling the silence, which put his introverted nature at ease.

“The campus cafeteria is pretty good. The pizza and spicy chicken are your best bet. But the snack machine on the second floor of the student center is where all the best shit is if you get late night munchies. By the way, you smoke?”

Jeongguk nodded.

“Yeah, sometimes, but I have to be careful because Odaesan does random drug testing.”

Jimin chuckled.

“Oh yeah, you’re a jock. Soccer, right? Yeah, they only test during the actual season. You’re good until January.”

Classes would start on Monday, but Jeongguk was glad to get his bearings at his new school before he had to dive into his Fine Arts major.

He had transferred from the community college he had been attending in Seoul once he’d gotten a soccer scholarship at Odaesan, and he was eager to play for a university versus a junior college, where the equipment and field had been seriously lacking.

Playing for a university meant major upgrades, and Odaesan had a great reputation for their athletics department. In fact, their baseball team was the best university team in all of South Korea, which was why Jimin and Jeongguk had decided to check out a casual scrimmage game that the baseball team was hosting the last Friday before classes would begin.

“The baseball team is the best because they literally hit the ground running as soon as school starts. Their season doesn’t even begin until February, but they play these casual scrimmage games up until their pre-season games in January.” Jimin was explaining as he and Jeongguk walked quickly across campus to the baseball complex.

It was early evening, not quite September, but Jeongguk could sense the change of seasons in the air. In just a few weeks, he would need a jacket on a walk like this, but for now, he was enjoying the lingering heat in the twilight hours of the day.

Before they had even reached the entrance to the ballfield, Jeongguk could hear the crowd.

“Wow, I didn’t realize so many people would be here for a scrimmage.” Jeongguk commented as he and Jimin jogged down the hill where college students and locals were already streaming through the gates for the casual game between the Odaesan Wolves and some other random, small college located within the city that Jeongguk had never heard of.

“I’m telling you man, baseball is big here. And then there’s the Kim Taehyung factor.” Jimin replied with a smirk.

Kim Taehyung. Jeongguk knew that name. Everyone who knew anything about university baseball knew that Kim Taehyung was one of the top university players in the whole country. He was a force, a gifted player unlike anyone had ever seen before, and pro baseball scouts all over South Korea were hoping to sign the college senior as soon as he graduated in the spring.

“Can’t say I’ve ever seen him play.” Jeongguk said as he and Jimin walked through the gates and over to the home team side of the complex.

“You’re in for a treat, my friend.” Jimin said as he waved to a group of guy’s sitting near the top of the bleachers.

“And I finally get a chance to introduce to the crew.”

Jeongguk smiled as Jimin introduced him to the four guys sitting together, smiling brightly as Jimin and Jeongguk joined them.

“Hyungs! I want you all to meet my new roommate, Jeon Jeongguk. He’s a sophomore, an art major, a soccer-head, and so far seems relatively normal and not a psycho.”

Jeongguk waved as he tried to not look as nervous as he felt. He definitely didn’t want to seem anything like a psycho.

“Guk, this is Jung Hoseok, also know at Hobi. He’s a grad student in dance and works with me at the studio. This is Min Yoongi, he’s a first year music prof, musical genius, and a massive overachiever. This is Kim Seokjin, former Odaesan student, owner of the studio for which Hobi and I are employed, and an assistant coach for the baseball team. And this guy here is Kim Namjoon, a grad student in music and Yoongi’s teaching assistant. He’s the other assistant coach, as well as another overachiever, if you will.”

“Nice to meet you, Jeongguk.” Namjoon said, shaking Jeongguk’s hand as the rest of the guys nodded their hellos.

“Hate to have to run, but Seokjin and I were just saving you two a couple of seats, but we gotta get down to the field.”

Jeongguk nodded.

“Nice to meet you both. I’m looking forward to watching the famous Wolves play.” He replied, sincerely.

“Yeah, man. And we’re having a little get together at Jin’s after the game, so hopefully we’ll see you there.”

Jeongguk smiled, suddenly feeling more relaxed. He had been looking forward to finally living a real college life, excited to be able to get the chance after paying his dues at the junior college for the past year.

“So where you from, Jeon?” Yoongi asked as he munched on some chips from the bag in his hand, offering some to Jeongguk as they sat looking out at the empty field.

They were all waiting anxiously for the players to begin after having finished their warm-up.

Jeongguk grabbed some chips from the bag, smiling at the palpable excitement in the air as the bleachers filled up more and more as game time grew closer.

“Busan, just like Jimin. But I spent my freshman year in Seoul.” He replied.

“What brings you to Odaesan? Did you get a scholarship?” Hoseok asked as he sat on the other side of Jimin, leaning over so he could learn all about their new companion.

Jeongguk nodded.

“Yeah, for soccer. But Odaesan also has an amazing fine arts program, so it worked out perfectly. Plus, I like the vibe here. Feels more like home. Seoul is a little too nuts for me.”

All three guys nodded, as if they totally understood.

“Well, as you heard, we’re all fine arts people, so you fell into the right group.” Yoongi said as he gave Jeongguk a pat on the back.

Suddenly, the small stadium erupted into cheers and claps as the Odaesan baseball team jogged out onto the field.

Since it wasn’t an official game, there was no announcer, the teams weren’t wearing uniforms, and the scoreboard was dark. But the crowd made it feel as if the Wolves were about to play for a championship title, and Jeongguk couldn’t help but grin widely at the energy from his fellow college students as everyone stood up when one of the players in a white baseball cap and royal blue tracksuit sauntered out to the pitcher’s mound.

“Taehyungie!” Jimin, Yoongi, and Hoseok shouted in unison, loud enough that Taehyung looked up and waved.

But the widely known Kim Taehyung quickly turned his attention back to throwing a few practice pitches to the catcher before the first batter approached home plate.

“You know him?” Jeongguk asked as he looked over at Jimin.

“Yeah, man. He’s one of our crew.”

Jeongguk chuckled, now understanding why Jimin, who didn’t seem the least bit interested in sports, would want to come to a baseball game. He was friends with the star player, and Jeongguk was touched by Jimin’s need to support his friend.

It wasn’t long before the game began, and then ended a lot sooner than Jeongguk had imagined it would. But Taehyung had a natural ability when it came to striking out just about every single player at bat. And when it was his own turn to hit, he had gotten two homeruns.

“Damn, he really is good.” Jeongguk said as the game wrapped up and the players gave each other congratulatory bows before disappearing into the dugout.

“Told you. That’s why this is the place to be whenever Tae is playing.” Jimin replied with a knowing grin as they stood up to make their way out of the stadium and to Seokjin’s party.

Yoongi agreed to give them all a ride, and Hoseok immediately rolled down the windows of the car and lit up a blunt, passing it around as they drove with music blaring into the night air.

It only took a couple hits before Jeongguk was feeling an ease he hadn’t felt in a long time.

In Seoul, he had been on his own for the first time ever, feeling free to do whatever he wanted. So he had done a lot of partying, a lot of casual dating, but he hadn’t really made any close friends. His class load, soccer, and his job at the school bookstore had left little time for him to even make a real connection with whomever he was dating at the time.

Not that it mattered. Even if Jeongguk had actually been able to make the time, there was just something off about every relationship he tried to have.

When he had first started dating in high school, it had always been with girls, but when he discovered that there was never a real spark with any of them, he thought it might have to do with the fact that he had always been interested in guys too.

So, he had dated guys, hoping that maybe it would take another male for him to finally feel the connection he had been longing to have with another person.

But still, nothing. It had been frustrating and distressing, and he always ended up hurting someone in the process.

He knew he was young, that he had plenty of time before falling in love with someone, but as each relationship ended, he felt an overwhelming need to figure out what was wrong, why things never worked out. He needed proof that there wasn’t something broken inside of him.

He hoped it could be different in Gangneung. That maybe he just hadn’t found the right person in Busan or Seoul. For now, though, he was just going to chill and enjoy making some actual friends while throwing himself into the degree he had been so happy to finally pursue now that he had gotten his general education requirements out of the way.

His class schedule was full of visual arts coursework, his drawing and painting classes being the most exciting for him to begin. And then he’d have soccer in the winter. He had already met his teammates, a group of guys that all seemed just as excited as Jeongguk was to have him joining their team, having heard of how good he was at the sport he’d been playing ever since he was a little kid.

Jeongguk wasn’t as legendary as someone like Kim Taehyung, but he hoped to be someday.

After a quick stop at a gas station for snacks and beer, it wasn’t long before Hoseok was rolling the windows up as Yoongi parked along the street in front of a one story, flat-roofed, brick house with picture windows and small lanterns lighting the pathway up to the door.

The driveway was already full of cars, and the street was filling up fast as more partygoers arrived at Seokjin’s.

“Nice place. Does he live here alone?” Jeongguk asked as the four made their way to the front door, the music already thumping as they approached.

“Yeah, but someone is always crashing in one of the guest rooms. I think Namjoon is pretty much a regular these days.” Jimin said with a mischievous grin.

Yoongi smirked.

“Joon and Jin have definitely gotten a lot closer ever since they both started coaching together.” Hoseok chimed in as the group entered the house and headed for the kitchen to drop off the beer and grab a drink.

“Sounds like some good gossip.” Jeongguk replied as he got right to work, mixing himself a cocktail of vodka and cranberry juice.

“How much of a lightweight are you, Guk? I don’t want to have to carry your ass home tonight.” Jimin said as he eyed his new roommate.

Jeongguk chuckled.

“Dude, I can handle two drinks, four shots, and six beers before I’m down for the count.” He replied, confidently.

“Fuck yeah! Sounds like our new friend Gukkie here knows how to have a good time.” Hoseok cheered, holding up Jeongguk’s wrist as if he’d won a prizefight.

“Where the fuck is Tae?” Yoongi asked as he looked around.

“He owes me money for that spliff I gave him last night.”

Jimin and Hoseok shrugged.

“He’s probably not even here yet, if he even shows up.” Jimin replied.

“You know how elusive that fucker can be.”

Jeongguk sipped his drink, not able to ignore the fact that he was getting a little bit eager to meet Taehyung, especially since he was feeling at ease from the weed and the way the vodka was already starting to make his muscles loosen up. There was something intimidating about the guy, and he hadn’t even met him yet.

“You guys talking about me?”

The deep voice coming from behind Jeongguk instantly and inexplicably made his knees turn to rubber. He turned quickly, only to be met by the most stunning human he had ever seen in his whole entire life.

There was no doubt that this was the one and only Kim Taehyung.

Jeongguk’s heart raced. He hadn’t gotten a good look at Taehyung during the game since he was so far away and wearing his baseball cap. But even at a distance, Kim Taehyung wore an unmistakable confidence that made him instantly attractive.

But now, as Jeongguk saw him up close, his eyes raking over the upperclassman, he immediately noticed Taehyung’s unusual hair color. A color that could only be described as mint green, framing a honey golden face with dark, seductive eyes and lips molded into a perfect pout. He was tall, lean, his tracksuit snug enough to show that he definitely worked out on the regular, and he carried himself with an unerring fluidity as he walked over to the fridge to grab a beer.

Jeongguk knew he was staring but he couldn’t look away, because Kim Taehyung was hot as fuck.

“Yes, we’re talking about you. What took you so long, Taehyungie?” Jimin whined as he went over and put his arms around Taehyung in a back hug that made the ball player shake his head, smiling softly.

“You know I like to take a shower after a game.” He replied casually before handing Yoongi a wad of bills, obviously remembering the money he owed.

“Oh, Tae Tae has some other plans tonight.” Hoseok said with a knowing wink as Seokjin and Namjoon entered the kitchen, both with their hair wet, as if they’d just stepped out of the shower together.

Yoongi smirked as he nudged Jeongguk, bringing him out of his Taehyung trance.

“Tae, you need to meet our new friend, and Jimin’s new roommate. This is Jeon Jeongguk.” Yoongi said as he tipped his head towards Jeongguk causing Taehyung’s gaze to finally land on him.

Jeongguk could feel his throat get tight in the way it always did when he was unexpectedly anxious, but he nodded at Taehyung, waving his hand, knowing he must have the stupidest grin on his face.

“Oh yeah, I saw you sitting with the guys at the game.” Taehyung said, the smile on his face so incredible that Jeongguk could feel his heartbeat all the way down in the tips of his toes.

Fuck.

“Uh…yeah.” Jeongguk managed to utter as he shook Taehyung’s outstretched hand.

But before he could make a decent attempt at sounding like a normal human who could make actual sentences come out of his mouth, they were interrupted by a pretty blonde sidling up against Taehyung’s tall frame.

“You said we could go after one beer.” The girl said as she looked up adoringly at Taehyung.

Jeongguk felt a wave of disappointment wash over him at the realization that Taehyung was straight. It was so ridiculously unfair.

“I got it. We can go.” Taehyung replied before dipping his hand into the back pocket of her tight jeans.

“See you guys later. Nice to meet you, Jeongguk.” Tae said with a sexy smirk and nod as he left the kitchen with the girl clinging to him as if he would evaporate into thin air if she didn’t.

“So yeah, that was Taehyung.” Jimin said with a laugh as he shook his head.

“Figures he’d leave right before I make my famous Seokjin Shot.” The eldest of them all announced as he rubbed his hands together, Namjoon watching him adoringly.

“Hell yeah, let’s do some shots!” Hoseok yelped happily before tossing back the rest of his beer.

Jeongguk would probably have smiled at the sweet way Namjoon and Seokjin leaned into each other as they began to cut limes for the shots, or laughed along with Hoseok, Yoongi and Jimin as they drank and waited for the famous drink from their hyung, but he was in another world, his thoughts inundated with Kim Taehyung.

Jeongguk couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but a feeling swept over him that he had never felt before. He didn’t know what it meant, but he wouldn’t mind finding out.

---

“Ah, the fine arts building. Welcome to your home away from home, Gukkie.” Jimin announced with his arms spread wide as the two stood outside the front doors of the large, beige, cement block building where Jeongguk would be attending most of his university classes.

They walked through the doors, Jimin giving a quick tour as they made their way down the main corridor while fine arts students filed past them on their way to their various classes. Jeongguk inhaled deeply, feeling happy and relieved to finally be in his true element.

“Visual arts are on this side of the building, but music and dance are on the other side. So you’ll have to go out of your way to visit me in between classes.” He said with a teasing wink.

Jeongguk chuckled as he peered through the window of the drawing studio. He couldn’t believe he was finally here and about to start doing the one thing he was truly passionate about.

There was an excitement in his chest at the thought of everything he would learn and everything he would get to do.  He loved every aspect of art, every type, and he hoped to someday put everything he would learn to good use, though he didn’t really know what he wanted to do quite yet.

“I gotta meet up with Hobi. You good?” Jimin asked as he checked the time on his phone.

Jeongguk nodded.

“Uh, yeah, my first class is digital photo…” Jeongguk replied as he looked at the sheet with his schedule on it.

“Ah, yes. Digital is that last door on the left. I’ll see you later. Have fun!”

Jeongguk walked down to the end of the hall, his eyes focusing on the high reaching walls that capped off with large, glass windows at the top. The architecture had definitely been intentional, knowing this building would be the home of budding artists.

In fact, the expansive walls were littered with artwork that Jeongguk imagined were done by students of the university.

He gazed at oil paintings, graphite sketches, found-object collages, but he suddenly stopped when his eyes landed on a collection of breathtaking, large-scale black and white photos.

They were all silhouettes, and mostly of people. But it was the one of a girl standing in a field, her hair blowing in the wind as a flock of birds flew around her, that immediately grabbed Jeongguk’s attention. It was somewhat alarming that he couldn’t see the girls face, couldn’t see what kind of birds they were, he didn’t know the color of her dress or the flowers bending with the breeze, but the mystery of it all was what was so compelling.

Jeongguk could have stared at the photo all day, mesmerized by it, but he had a class to get to, so he quickly jogged the rest of the way down the hall until he reached the digital photography classroom, taking note of the photo so he could go back and look at it again later.

The classroom was quiet as he entered, and lined with three rows of long tables side by side, each workstation outfitted with a brand new desktop computer. A large projection screen clung to a wall facing the tables, with Professor Lee, one of the photography professors, standing at his podium with a laptop open in front of him.

“Sit wherever you like.” He said with an easy smile as he looked up at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk nodded as he took a seat at the end of the backrow, next to a girl with a long, slick, purple ponytail and purple-rimmed glasses to match.

She smiled politely at Jeongguk as she handed him a copy of the syllabus that was being passed around.

“Am I early?” Jeongguk asked as he looked around, only seeing about a dozen other students in the room.

The girl shook her head.

“No, you’re on time. But this class is the earliest one. Most students registered for the afternoon class.”

Jeongguk grinned, noticing the girl had brought a large to-go cup of coffee with her for the early class.

“I’m Jeongguk.” He said as he held out his hand to shake hers.

She was cute, and if it wasn’t for his bad luck with relationships, he would probably consider asking her out. But she seemed really sweet and Jeongguk couldn’t bear the thought of hurting someone like her.

“I’m Joon-Yi. Nice to meet you.” She said with a beaming smile.

But before Jeongguk could ask her anything else, Professor Lee was clearing his throat, ready to start class.

“Welcome to Intro to Digital Photography, everyone. I’m Professor Lee, and I’m so glad to see you all here so early in the morning. And it’s a very special morning, because this will be the class that leads you to your future love.” He paused as everyone gave their teacher a confused look.

Jeongguk noticed Joon-Yi blushing.

“Your future love with photography, that is.” Lee said with a laugh, enjoying his own joke.

When no one else laughed, he cleared his throat again and continued.

“As you should all know, you’ll need your own digital camera for this course, and you’ll need a 128 gig SD card. So, I hope your financial aid is prepared for your supplies. You’ll also need a tripod for when we do long exposure shoots, and—“

Professor Lee stopped short when the door to the classroom suddenly flew open.

“Ah!” He exclaimed as he smiled widely, causing the whole class to turn and look.

But nothing could have prepared Jeongguk for who his eyes landed on.

“It’s my late, but very efficient teaching assistant, Kim Taehyung! Everyone, meet your Intro Digital TA.”

The class murmured hello’s as Taehyung waved.

“Hey…uh…I don’t have much to say except that my contact info is on the syllabus, so I’ll let Professor Lee get back to his introduction. Did he tell you guys the joke about your future love yet?”

The class groaned, chuckling at how Taehyung had called out their professor on his joke that he had apparently used many times before.

Jeongguk could feel the warmth in his cheeks as Taehyung smiled, his mint hair hidden under his ball cap, but still looking just as gorgeous as he did the other night.

“Hopefully he’ll keep the dad jokes to a minimum, but welcome to digital photo regardless.” Taehyung said as his eyes briefly landed on Jeongguk.

But there was no flicker of recognition, causing Jeongguk’s heart to sink to his stomach. It seemed as if Taehyung might not remember having met him at Seokjin’s party.

“Ah, that boy likes to give me a hard time.” Professor Lee said with a pleased chuckle before getting back to going over the syllabus.

“Can he be my future love?” Jeongguk heard Joon-Yi say under her breath as Taehyung waved one more time before disappearing into the glass windowed office in the back of the classroom.

Get in line, Jeongguk wanted to say, but he held back. It wouldn’t matter anyway. Joon-Yi had a lot better chance at getting Taehyung’s attention than Jeongguk did.

“Have you seen him play ball yet?” Jeongguk asked as he turned back in his seat, knowing he should be paying attention to his professor but feeling the need to gab with Joon-Yi about Taehyung.

“Yeah, on TV. I live at home off-campus and my dad watches all the games on the college sports channel. I already bought tickets for the home games. Students get first dibs and a discount.”

Jeongguk nodded, wondering what the situation was with Jimin and baseball game tickets, or did he have some kind of hookup by being friends with Taehyung. Jeongguk decided he needed to find out as soon as possible.

“Where’s he from?” Jeongguk asked Joon-Yi, finding it easy to get information from her after he had resisted the urge to quiz Jimin regarding his godlike, mint-haired friend.

“Daegu, and he was supposed to go to university there. But I heard Odaesan offered him a full ride scholarship for baseball if he would go here after he graduated from high school. He doesn’t have to pay for anything.”

Jeongguk wasn’t surprised that Taehyung was so sought after. He’d seen it with his own eyes how incredible of a player Taehyung was. But he couldn’t help but wonder how Taehyung had become a teaching assistant for an intro photography class.

Jeongguk figured the school probably let their golden boy ballplayer do whatever he wanted, take whatever classes he wanted, and he probably got straight A’s in everything so he could stay on the field winning game after game.

But before Jeongguk could ask Joon-Yi what else she might know about Kim Taehyung, Professor Lee was instructing the class to open up the Photoshop program on their computers for a quick tutorial for those who had never used it before.

When class was over, Jeongguk noticed that Taehyung was still in the office, hovering over a laptop and typing furiously, the expression on his face serious but not looking up as the photography students passed by on their way out.

Jeongguk sighed. Best not to get too invested in wanting a hot hookup with a guy who he couldn’t have, but he couldn’t shake that strange feeling he’d had at Seokjin’s party. But what could he do with a guy who was straight and didn’t seem to remember meeting him in the first place?

---

Jeongguk had made it through his first week at Odaesan University, and so far so good.

His drawing class was the one he had felt the most confident in, but he knew he had a lot to learn in his painting class and his 3-D design class. Even his photography class was a challenge as he worked hard to do well on his “pan and blur” project. His only other class was a stats course he was required to take, but since he’d always done well in math, he didn’t feel the need to stress. Nevertheless, he was more than ready for the weekend.

“What you need is a nice, cold, six-pack of the best local beer Gangneung has to offer.” Jimin said as the two walked to the bus stop so they could catch a ride to the dance studio where Jimin worked. The studio was closed, but Hoseok was still there after working his shift, readying the place to use as their hangout for the evening.

“For the longest time, Seokjin wouldn’t let us party at the studio, but he eventually gave in when Hobi and I promised to always provide him free weed the day after. Plus, it keeps us from trashing his house every weekend now that he’s getting all domestic with Namjoon.”

Jeongguk nodded, chuckling softly.

“Does that make you uncomfortable, Guk? I mean, I don’t know about you but some of us in the crew are a little on the bi or gay side.”

Jeongguk shook his head.

“Doesn’t bother me at all. I’m into both.”

Jimin smiled, his eyes shining.

“Oh, really? Hmm, well, good thing you’re not my type. It would be weird if we were roommates and fucking.”

Jeongguk nodded, agreeing.

“Yeah, well, you’re not my type either. Besides, seems like you dig black-haired, overachieving, music professors…from what I’ve witnessed.” Jeongguk said teasingly.

Jimin’s eyes widened with surprise as his mouth dropped open.

“How dare you see right through me, Jeon!” He teased as his cheeks turned pink.

“But okay, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Yoongi and I are very casual. I mean, he’s a professor and I’m a student and, you know, ethics and shit.”

Jeongguk smiled thoughtfully.

“Well, it won’t be a problem by May when you graduate.”

Jimin beamed.

“True. But enough about me, have you met anyone that’s caught your attention yet?”

Jeongguk wasn’t about to mention Kim Taehyung and how Jeongguk had sat casually watching the door of his photography class waiting to see that sinful creature enter before said sinful creature would promptly go into the office to do whatever it was sinful creatures did in there while Jeongguk was learning about f-stops and aperture settings.

“Eh, I mean, I was thinking about asking out this girl in my math class…but when the fun ends, it could get awkward…so, I don’t know...” Jeongguk said, his mind flashing to the pretty brunette with the long, wavy hair that sat in front of him in stats.

Her name was Misha and she was just the kind of leggy, svelte beauty that Jeongguk always thought he looked so right with. Too bad his heart could never quite catch up with the physical compatibility. But he wasn’t sure if dating her was a good idea when he was already pretty certain of how it would turn out.

He could already see the end goal of marriage and kids in Misha’s eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that she was looking to lock down a husband while at university, and that wasn’t what Jeongguk was looking for in the slightest.

So, Jeongguk had considered a possibly more casual fling with Migyung, the guy in his drawing class who hadn’t hesitated to let everyone know that he was very gay, very single, and very proud of it, which Jeongguk certainly had no problem with.

Migyung was also decently attractive, with blue hair and smooth, tan skin. Jeongguk tried to tell himself that his interest in his fellow classmate had nothing to do with Migyung being a poor man’s version of Kim Taehyung.

“Dude, we’re college students. It’s supposed to get awkward when you hook up with random people that you have classes with. I mean, you’re bound to end up at the same party where you’ll bond over lots of booze before sharing a mutual walk of shame the next morning.”

Jeongguk nodded. Jimin had made a good point.

“Well, I’ll let you know what I decide, if I decide.” Jeongguk said with a wink as he and Jimin jumped off the bus in front of the dance studio aptly named Magical Moves.

“I keep telling Jin to change the name to something cooler, but he’s afraid we’ll lose longtime clientele if he renames it Dance to Get Fucked, like I suggested.”

Jeongguk laughed as he and Jimin entered the dark foyer of the dance studio, the only light a neon “closed” sign in the front window, and followed the sounds of Kendrick Lamar and laughter in one of the back rooms.

When they entered, Jeongguk’s eyes took a minute to adjust to the mirrored walls and the strands of Christmas lights lining the ceiling, bouncing off the mirrors reflection. It was dim and smoky from the pipes being passed around as bodies sat and lay sprawled out on the adagio covered floor.

“It’s Jimini and Jeonggukie!” Cheered Hoseok as the two quickly found a space next to their already very high friend.

“Pass me that shit.” Jimin said as he shrugged off his denim jacket and took the pipe Hoseok had been cradling in his hands.

Jeongguk watched as Jimin took a hit before passing the pipe and lighter so that Jeongguk could get his turn.

Jeongguk inhaled deeply before slowly blowing out the smoke, clouding his view, but he suddenly noticed mint green hair swirling in his exhale. He waved his hand in front of him, wanting the smoke out of his way to see if he really saw who he thought he saw.

And hell yes, sure enough, Kim Taehyung was sitting on the floor just a few feet in front of him, his eyes closed, his mouth attached to the lips of a guy Jeongguk had never seen before while “Poetic Justice” began to play, and wasn’t that just the perfect fucking song for what this moment suddenly was.

A guy. The person Taehyung was making out with was a guy.

Almost immediately, Jeongguk could feel his cock stiffen, not just at what he was seeing, but at the realization that Taehyung was obviously one of the bi members of Jimin’s crew.

“Fuck.” Jeongguk said quietly.

“Good shit, huh?” Jimin asked as he took the pipe back from Jeongguk.

“Huh?” Jeongguk asked, barely able to drag his gaze away from the way Taehyung’s hand was splayed across the other guy’s jaw and neck.

Goddamn, that was one powerful and sexy hand. The hand that threw fastballs that didn’t give the opposing team a fucking prayer.

“The fucking hash, Guk. What else would I be talking about?” Jimin asked with a laugh, taking a hit before letting Jeongguk have the pipe back.

Jeongguk took another long hit, his eyes still watching Taehyung and the way the ballplayer’s head was pitched back while the other guy clamped his mouth onto the smooth column of Taehyung’s neck.

Taehyung’s eyes were closed as he bit his bottom lip seductively, his head turned just slightly enough to allow his date better access. It was the most erotic thing Jeongguk had ever seen in his whole life. As much as he wished he was the one giving Taehyung that level of pleasure, getting to watch it was a treat in itself.

But then, Taehyung’s eyes suddenly popped open, almost as if he knew he was being watched, and looked directly at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk knew he had stopped breathing as Taehyung smirked.

“Hey…I know you…you’re in the AM Intro Digital. Jeon Jeongguk.” Taehyung slurred, obviously drunk as hell, his eyelids lowered lazily from the mix of alcohol in his system and weed smoke in the air.

Jeongguk couldn’t speak, his name on Taehyung’s high and sexed-up lips was unreal. All Jeongguk could do was nod.

“Check your email. I sent you some feedback on your pan and blur photos.” He said before bringing his attention back to his male companion.

Taehyung put a hand on the guys shoulder, nudging him to detach himself.

“Let’s get out of here.” Taehyung said as he stood up.

“Fucking hell, Tae! You’re ditching us again?” Yoongi asked, suddenly popping up from where he’d been lying next to the stereo speaker, vibing to Kendrick and smoking one of his special made spliffs.

Taehyung shrugged.

“I’ll make it up to you guys. Sang here has some good kush back at his place.” He said as he motioned to the guy who was nuzzling Taehyung’s neck, his hands on Taehyung’s hips, trying to gently guide him toward the exit.

“I’ll bring you some next weekend.”

Yoongi scoffed, but quickly relented.

“Okay…fine. Go have fun before I lose my high and get pissed off.”

Taehyung chuckled as he glanced over at Jeongguk. And maybe it was how high Jeongguk already was but he could have sworn his photography TA had licked his lips before smiling and waving goodbye specifically to him.

“Check that email, handsome.” Taehyung said with his familiar sexy smirk.

Yep, Jeongguk hadn’t been seeing things, and he definitely wasn’t hearing things.

“Easy now, Guk. Tae flirts with everyone when he’s drunk.” Jimin said as he rolled his eyes.

But Jeongguk shook his head as he watched Taehyung leave.

Maybe Jimin was right, but there had been something in the way Taehyung had looked at him, something significant, and he wouldn’t be convinced otherwise.

To be continued…

Chapter Text

Jeon Jeongguk had lived a charmed life.

He had grown up in a sleepy beach neighborhood in Busan, with two adorning parents and an older brother, Junghyun, who had always looked out for the younger, and who Jeongguk had always admired.

Jeongguk was popular all throughout his years in school, and was even the class president his senior year in high school. And it wasn’t just being good at sports that had gotten him attention, it was the way he could do pretty much anything and be good at it. Even his music and art teachers adored him because of how well he had excelled in both subjects.

But it hadn’t all come easily. Jeongguk had worked hard, pushing himself to always give every bit of himself to the things he committed to. Being the best was something he strived for, and he couldn’t help but enjoy the benefits that came with his accomplishments.

He had the world in the palm of his hand, and complete support from his parents and brother. Even when Jeongguk’s mother and father had suggested he go into finance for his degree due to his knack for math, Jeongguk had refused.

“I know it seems like a safe, smart choice. But, I want to do something that I truly love to do.” Jeongguk had told his parents back during his senior year when he was in the throes of filling out college applications.

“What do you love to do more than anything?” Jeongguk’s dad had asked him, curious as to what his son would say when he seemed to have so many different interests.

“Draw.” Jeongguk had said simply.

And it was the truth. Jeongguk had always loved to draw. He was happiest when he had a pencil and a sketchbook, and he had exhibited a natural ability, but one that he knew he wanted to hone.

“I’ve taught you as much as a high school art teacher can teach you. But, Jeongguk, you can learn so much more at university. You can learn techniques you haven’t even begun to be able to tap into yet. You might even develop a new passion for other creative ways to express yourself.” Jeongguk’s high school art teacher had told him before he had graduated.

That had been all the convincing that Jeongguk had needed in order to pursue a fine arts degree. But in order to go to college, Jeongguk was going to need some financial assistance in the form of scholarships. So, he had gotten accepted into a junior college in Seoul, with the promise to be starting centerback for the soccer team his freshman year, something that was practically unheard of for a freshman.

And he had delivered on helping to bring his school a championship in their division while also getting all of his obligatory general education classes out of the way.

It had been a long year, though he knew he had to put in the time before he could finally get started on what he really wanted to do, on what he really wanted to learn.

But it hadn’t just been his studies and extracurricular activities that Jeongguk had been good at. He’d also been very good at attracting casual flings.

Granted, he hadn’t intended on anything ever being casual, but after one month of dating his first girlfriend, Luna, during his sophomore year of high school, Jeongguk knew something wasn’t right.

For whatever reason, he wasn’t feeling what he knew he should be feeling for the sweet, pretty cheerleader who Jeongguk had been eyeing for weeks before finally asking her out.

He had been so attracted to her, the sex had been great, and she was really good to him too. In fact, Luna was the ideal girlfriend, who had always made sure to listen to him whenever he was having problems, to encourage him. She helped him study when he was having trouble in his physics class, she would bring him homemade soup for lunch, she would cheer him on at his soccer games. Yes, Luna was a total dream.

But something just never gave him the flutters, and all those other feelings that he had read and heard about when it came to true love.

So, after things had ended with Luna, he had dated girl after girl, all different types of girls. He had wanted so much to have the whole “first love” experience that all of his friends were starting to have, but it just hadn’t happened yet.

Jeongguk wondered what was missing inside of him; what wasn’t adding up for him when it came to his heart. So, he allowed his thoughts to indulge the idea of dating guys instead, because he had never had a problem admitting that he had always been attracted to men too.

Knowing that the majority of people wouldn’t understand, Jeongguk had mostly kept those secret desires to himself, but he had never been one to let what other people thought define who he was, nor his actions.

Being bisexual or gay was still a hard pill for most South Koreans to swallow, and not as widely accepted as it was in other parts of the world. But Jeongguk wanted to find love, to find happiness with someone else, so he had decided that he would be open about who he was, and enjoy the company of whoever he wanted to spend time with, no matter what anyone else said or thought.

And his parents had been fairly understanding, as long as Jeongguk was safe, careful, and happy. All they really wanted was for both of their sons to live their lives in the best way they could, to feel fulfilled, and with as little regret as possible.

So Jeongguk’s first boyfriend, Kai-Han, had been a nice, cute, college guy that Jeongguk had met the summer after graduation while he’d been working as a lifeguard at one of the local public beaches of Busan.

Kai-Han and his friends had been playing volleyball on the beach, and it was clear that he had been closely watching Jeongguk, shamelessly checking him out while Jeongguk watched the group play.

When Jeongguk’s shift had ended, he had joined the group when they’d started a new game. He had taken a spot next to Kai-Han, allowing the two of them to “accidently” bump into each other when they would both try to hit the ball back over the net.

The game had led to Jeongguk and Kai-Han spending the rest of the day and night together, drinking and talking and making out under the stars.

It had definitely been a whole new experience for him being the boyfriend of a guy instead of a girl, but Jeongguk had learned a lot from it. Regardless, the relationship had turned out the same as all the others. After a few weeks, there was just nothing really there from Jeongguk’s side, and he’d been forced to end it, not wanting Kai-Han to get anymore invested in Jeongguk than he already had.

“Maybe being in love is just for other people. Maybe some people just aren’t made for it.” Jeongguk had told his brother one night when the two had gone out to grab a bite to eat and see a movie before Jeongguk would be flying up to Seoul to start school.

But Junghyun had shook his head no.

“I don’t believe that. I think everyone experiences being in love at least once in their life. And you’re still so young, Gukkie. You have time. You just haven’t found the right person yet. But when you do, I know it’s going to be amazing and then you’ll remember this conversation and laugh.”

Jeongguk hoped his brother was right, because he was feeling discouraged, and a whole year in Seoul had yielded nothing but a string of breakups without ever having felt that spark that would tell Jeongguk that it was different this time.

Jeongguk sighed as he sat with his laptop on his bed and opened up his university email. It was Sunday night and he still hadn’t read his email from Taehyung regarding his assignment. He had been putting it off, more than a little nervous about what the extreme hottie might have said about his work.

                Jeongguk,

      These shots are subpar at best. Your subject isn’t clear and it’s blending into your background too much. You need a slower shutter speed and to back up. Use the normal setting on your VR and try again.

      Let me know if you have any questions.

            -Taehyung

Jeongguk frowned.

“Subpar at best?” He said aloud to himself.

To say he was disappointed with Taehyung’s response would be an understatement.

Jeongguk had never gotten an email like that from anyone before when it came to schoolwork. In fact, Jeongguk had always been a straight A student, who was thorough to a fault with his work. Sure, learning how to pan and blur wasn’t something he’d done before, nor found easy, but he didn’t think his photos had been “subpar at best” by any means.

He hit reply and started to type, feeling his blood boiling and his thoughts snarky.

“Your curveball is subpar at best!” He typed, but quickly deleted it, knowing the comment was a lie. Taehyung actually threw a pretty amazing curveball.

Jeongguk sighed as he closed out the email.

“I’ll just do it again.” He gritted through his teeth as he rummaged through his bag for his photography notes.

“I will pan and blur the fuck out of this assignment.”

But as he went back over his notes, he was still fuming. What did Kim Taehyung know about photography? He was a baseball player for fuck’s sake, he wasn’t an artist.

Frustration led to Jeongguk tossing his notes to the side, jumping off his bed to work on his painting assignment instead.

He had been tasked with doing an acrylic painting based off of a photograph that had meaning to him while also adding his own personal touch to the piece. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t done before, but painting was still not as easy for him as drawing and he was determined to do well. Jeongguk did not like to fail at anything ever.

Jeongguk had gone through all kinds of photos on his phone, had Google searched, even flipped through some of his textbooks, but when it came down to it, his mind kept going back to the black and white photograph he had seen in the hallway of the fine arts building. The silhouette of a girl with the birds flying around her. It was such a haunting, beautiful image, and he wanted to see if he could replicate it on canvas.

Jeongguk decided that the mysterious girl with the birds would be the photo he would use for his piece as he shuffled through his canvases and picked out a large 30”x40” one.

Feeling some need to prove himself, he had decided to make the painting just as large as the photo.

He got to work quickly, playing music loudly to help motivate him while he primed the canvas with a layer of gesso. Once it was dry, he didn’t even need to look at a reference for his painting, he had memorized the photo, accessing it in his mind by closing his eyes before lightly sketching out the figure of the girl.

He sketched the birds, the flowers, and the blades of grass, careful to create it all just how he remembered. He had looked at that photo so many times over the past week but he still had to squeeze his eyes shut at times to remember the details.

Jeongguk worked for hours as it got darker and darker out, a cool pre-fall breeze flicking and curling the curtains of Jeongguk’s open windows. Jimin had even texted him asking if Jeongguk wanted to come by Jin’s for a “gaming session with the finest selections of weed and ale” as he liked to call it, though it was really just everyone sitting around getting drunk and high while playing Mario Kart.

Jeongguk’s heart had raced, knowing Taehyung might be there too, but he quickly shook the thought from his mind. He had decided that Kim Taehyung was a dick of a guy and not a guy whose dick Jeongguk wanted anymore.

It was a good lie to try and convince himself of.

But Jeongguk kept working as he painted slick, black acrylic paint over his silhouette figures, smudging the edges to give it an eerie look to go along with the swamp green and electric blue background colors that he had blended together. The contrast of color to the black silhouettes gave the whole painting a radioactive, apocalyptic vibe that contributed to the part where he needed to “add his personal touch” to the piece.

He sat back and gazed at his work, wondering what the photographer of the photo would think of the unsought collaboration.

Jeongguk cleaned up his paint palette and brushes, rinsing everything out in his bathroom sink before deciding to call it a night, feeling satisfied that he had accomplished something he was proud of and definitely didn’t consider to be “subpar at best.”

---

Over the next week, Jeongguk still found himself frustrated with photography.

“So much for that ‘falling in love with photography’ bullshit. I suck at this.” Jeongguk complained to Joon-Yi as the two sat out on the grassy quad behind the administration office, working on their depth of field shots for their next assignment.

Joon-Yi chuckled.

“No you don’t. You said that you redid the pan and blur assignment and got a better grade, right?”

Jeongguk nodded.

He had worked on the photo assignment again over the weekend after his email from Taehyung, and subsequently sent a whole new set of shots to his TA, grumbling to himself over it the whole time.

“Yeah, and all he said was ‘these are better. Glad you tried again.’” Jeongguk replied, rolling his eyes.

Joon-Yi shook her head as she held up her camera and peered through the viewfinder at the small fountain in front of them, her camera clicking as she took several shots before switching her aperture setting to take another round.

“What did you want him to say? That you are the best photography student that he’s ever seen in his whole life and he’d like to take you out on a hot date?”

Jeongguk blushed, chuckling softly at her response. Joon-Yi had quickly caught on to Jeongguk’s proclaimed “unwelcome lust” on their achingly sexy teaching assistant, and liked to tease him while also claiming she would not hesitate to fight him for Taehyung’s affections.

“No…not exactly…” Jeongguk replied with a bashful grin.

“But he could have been a little more encouraging and a lot less dickish.”

Joon-Yi smiled knowingly as she glanced at her fellow photo student.

“You can try and hate him all you want, Guk, but you might as well give it up and ask him out. See what he’s got going on this Saturday.”

But Jeongguk shook his head.

“No, I refuse. I will not give him the satisfaction of dumping on my hard work to then be rewarded by getting to go on a date with me. Besides, I don’t even want to date him. I’d be fine with a really satisfying one night stand.”

Joon-Yi scoffed as she went back to taking her photos.

“If that’s the case then you’re being stubborn for no reason, which will cost you a lot of fun. I bet Taehyung is a really good kisser.”

Jeongguk nodded.

“From what I’ve seen, he looks like an amazing kisser.” Jeongguk replied, recalling Taehyung and Sang’s makeout session at the dance studio.

“You two doing okay?” Came a familiar, deep voice from behind, causing Jeongguk and Joon-Yi to practically jump out of their skin.

The two looked over their shoulders to find Taehyung standing behind them, a smirk on his face.

“Uh…yeah…” The two said in unison, Joon-Yi’s face suddenly pink from embarrassment.

They could only wonder if Taehyung had heard that last part of their conversation.

“Good to hear, but if you need anything, you have my email and my number. I’m out for the day.” Taehyung said so politely that it made it even harder for Jeongguk to loathe him.

As Taehyung started to walk away, Joon-Yi quickly nudged Jeongguk in the ribs.

“Say something.” She hissed, her eyes wide with urgency.

Jeongguk’s first instinct was to shake his head no, he wanted to keep trying to hate Kim Taehyung, but something about Joon-Yi’s insistence forced him to speak. Maybe it was because she was right about him missing out if he let his pride keep controlling him.

“Tae!” Jeongguk called out, wincing at how he had just called Taehyung by the nickname that he’d only ever heard Jimin and Yoongi use.

Taehyung turned around, an eyebrow raised in question at Jeongguk.

“Uh…are you…are you going to Seokjin’s tomorrow night?” Jeongguk asked, praying to the gods he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt.

Taehyung’s perfect lips curled into his signature sexy smirk as he nodded.

“Yeah. You?”

Jeongguk gulped hard, begging for his response to come out sounding casual.

“Yeah…thinking about it.”

Taehyung’s smirk turned into a genuine smile.

“Then maybe I’ll see you there.” He replied before turning back around, heading toward the parking lot.

Jeongguk collapsed onto the grass, his heart thundering in his chest.

“Wow, very slick, Gukkie. Well done.” Joon-Yi said, clapping for her friend.

Jeongguk sighed.

“I hate you so much right now.”

But Joon-Yi laughed.

“You won’t be hating me after tomorrow night. And I demand you text me all the details.”

---

Jeongguk needed to get drunk. That was the only way he would have the nerve to talk to Taehyung without sounding like a complete doof.

This was so not like him to be this way over someone. Since when did anyone ever make Jeon Jeongguk nervous?

He sighed while checking himself in the full-length mirror from head to toe in his tight, black jeans, a casual white tee and a studded belt.

“Look at you!” Jimin said with a whistle as he walked into Jeongguk’s room just as Jeongguk was pulling on his leather moto jacket.

“Casual but sexy. Very nice. Who are we trying to impress tonight?”

Jeongguk shook his head.

“No one…just thought I should switch it up tonight. You know, since you haven’t yet had the chance to witness what a fashionista I can be.” He replied with a playful grin as he completed his look with silver rings in his ears.

“Well, I’m officially impressed with your style achievements, Guk. So, let’s get going before all the good liquor is gone.”

The two had just reached the parking lot outside of their dorm building when they suddenly heard Yoongi coming before they even saw him, his car thumping with rap music as he zoomed around the corner, screeching to a stop beside Jeongguk and Jimin.

“Hop in, motherfuckers.” He said with a deadpan look before breaking into a wide grin.

“Thanks for the ride, Professor.” Jeongguk joked, finding it pretty humorous that Yoongi was actually a part of the school’s faculty when he was the craziest one in their crew.

“You’re already high as fuck, Min.” Jimin said with a roll of his eyes as he climbed into the front seat while Jeongguk settled into the back next to Hoseok.

“What’s up, Hobi? I thought you had to work late.” Jeongguk said, glad to see their other friend.

It had only been a few weeks, but it already felt as if Jeongguk had been friends with these guys for years. It was something he hadn’t known he had needed until he had it, and he was grateful.

“Eh, Jin said fuck it and told me to just cancel the class and come on over. Guess it ain’t a Kim Seokjin party without me!” Hoseok said as he spread his arms wide, beaming with excitement.

“And look at you, looking all fly and shit. Who you after, Gukkie?” Hoseok asked, noticing the way Jeongguk was dressed, and how his cologne overpowered the scent of weed in the car.

“I bet I know...” Yoongi said with a laugh.

“I bet he’s got a major boner for Tae.”

Hoseok and Jimin let out collective “ooh’s” over Yoongi’s inference, fully enjoying this new information.

Jeongguk’s eyes widened as he started to object, but Yoongi held up his hand.

“Don’t think I didn’t see you drooling over our handsome prince, Gukkie. But it’s not like we can blame you. Tae is undeniably hot.”

Jeongguk could feel his cheeks getting warm as he looked away and out the window.

“I admit to nothing.” He replied, biting his lip, trying to hold in the embarrassed chuckle that would totally give him away.

“I should have known! Damn, I’m losing my romantic chemistry instincts.” Jimin said with a disappointed scowl.

“Then maybe you should stop smoking so much.” Yoongi said as he teasingly ruffled the back of Jimin’s hair.

“Maybe you should suck my dick.” Jimin snapped back, eliciting a chuckle from everyone else in the car.

“You’d like that.” Yoongi replied with a wink, causing Jimin to blush.

“Ugh, it’s getting too gay in here. Speed up, will ya, Yoongi?” Hoseok asked as he lit up his pipe, taking a deep drag before passing it to Jeongguk.

Yes, just what Jeongguk needed, something to take the edge off, especially when his friends now knew how interested he was in Taehyung.

“Forgive him, Guk. Hobi is the only straight one among us. He gets a little testy when we talk about our love of cock.” Jimin said with a smirk as he blew a kiss at Hoseok.

Jeongguk nearly choked on his inhale from the pipe as he passed it back to Hoseok.

“I’m sorry, Hobi. I’ll keep my love of cock to myself if it makes you feel better.” He coughed.

“We can talk about pussy, instead.” Jeongguk said as he blew out the smoke, already beginning to feel relaxed.

Jimin, Yoongi, and Hoseok suddenly burst into a fit of laughter.

“Oh, Jeongguk…it was fate that brought you to us. You fit right in.” Yoongi said as he pulled up in front of Seokjin’s house.

It made Jeongguk feel good to hear that, to know he was accepted among these guys that he already felt so connected to.

“You missed it last weekend, Guk. Tae hooked us up with the best weed I’ve had in a long time. But hey, if you two fuck, maybe he’ll give you some as a parting gift. You better share it, though.” Jimin said as the four guys walked into Seokjin’s house where the party was already loud and hyped up.

Jimin’s words sent a shiver through every nerve in Jeongguk’s body. A chance to fuck Taehyung…to be fucked by Taehyung…it was exactly what Jeongguk didn’t want to admit he wanted. But damn if he didn’t want it bad.

The thought caused him to reach for Hoseok’s pipe, needing a couple more hits along with a couple of shots before he’d be ready to make his move.

“Point me to the liquor.” He said to Namjoon as he walked into the kitchen, the countertops already coated with a slick layer of sticky from the collection of alcohol bottles scattered across it.

The whole house reeked of marijuana while music thumped. Other than the colored Christmas lights strung on anything that wasn’t moving, the house was dim and smoky, just like the room in the dance studio that they had partied in a couple weeks earlier. Seokjin definitely had a party aesthetic he liked to maintain.

Namjoon laughed as he handed Jeongguk a plastic cup.

“A Seokjin Shot made just for you, Guk.” Namjoon said with a wink.

“Tonight is a littler wilder than usual, we’re celebrating Jin’s new position as the next head coach since Coach Han is retiring after this school year. Go big, right?” Namjoon said with a laugh as he clapped Jeongguk on the back.

“Really? No one told me! Where is our new head coach anyway?” Jeongguk asked, shouting over the pulse of the music.

“Out on the back patio with Tae. Go say hi.”

Jeongguk sighed, knocking back the shot before quickly making himself another one.

He could feel the warmth flowing down into his gut as he tossed back the second shot and wiped his mouth.

Namjoon chuckled.

“Someone is needing liquid courage for something.” He surmised, cocking an eyebrow at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk grinned.

“Don’t worry, I’m not trying to steal your man.” Jeongguk replied with a laugh.

Namjoon shook his head, smiling shyly at the realization that everyone was fully aware about his new relationship with Seokjin.

“Yeah, I already pegged Taehyungie as being your type.” Namjoon replied with a sly grin.

“Good luck, Guk.”

Namjoon handed Jeongguk a beer before turning him in the direction of the screened in back porch that overlooked Seokjin’s sparkling pool.

If it had a been a little warmer, everyone would likely have been swimming, which would have made talking to Taehyung a little easier if Jeongguk was only wearing a bathing suit, letting his body do the work for him. From his experience, there was always something about being half-naked and wet that suddenly made people a lot less inhibited to hookup.

“Gukkie!”

Jeongguk turned to find Seokjin taking up residence next to a tiki bar complete with tribal masks and hibiscus flowers decorating it.

And standing next to him was sex personified in the form of Kim Taehyung.

As if Jeongguk’s body knew he needed it, the second shot began to work its magic, relaxing his body and his mind as Jeongguk made his way over to where the two stood.

“Just heard the good news, bud. Congratulations! And whatever Jimin gives you as a gift, it’s from me too.” Jeongguk said as he gave Seokjin a quick hug.

His eyes shifted to Taehyung, who was watching him with that easy smile, the same one he’d worn the night at the dance studio.

“You made it.” Taehyung said as he gave Jeongguk a nod.

Jeongguk smiled roguishly.

“I did.” He replied, allowing his eyes to shamelessly rake over Taehyung, who was dressed to kill in a pair of tight, stonewashed jeans and a black sweater with a v-neckline that showed off his collarbones. Collarbones that Jeongguk would love the chance to leave a few fresh marks on.

He had completely forgotten about not wanting to like Taehyung while he flirted with him instead, but damn it if it wasn’t just too hard to hate someone who looked that good.

“Well, you and Jimin gave me this.” Seokjin said as he held up a tightly rolled blunt.

“And I think we should smoke it. Tae, will you do the honors?”

Taehyung chuckled as he fished a lighter out of his back pocket before taking the blunt from Seokjin.

And Jeongguk did not at all miss the way Taehyung’s eyes flicked up to meet his as he held it between his lips, lighting the tip before inhaling quickly a few times until it was sufficiently lit.

It was one of the hottest things Jeongguk had ever witnessed as he felt a twitch in his pants.

“For the Wolves new coach.” Taehyung’s deep voice purred as he handed the blunt to Seokjin.

“Ah! I got here just in time!” Jimin said as he and Yoongi joined the three others while the joint was being passed around to each of them.

“Of course you did.” Tae replied with a teasing grin.

His eyes met Jeongguk’s again, but before either one of them could say anything, Jimin quickly filled the silence.

“Tae! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you about Gukkie’s painting!” Jimin said excitedly as he grabbed Jeongguk’s arm.

“You know the one, Jeongguk. The one you ditched us for last weekend.” Jimin said with a wink.

Taehyung smiled warmly, even if he wasn’t the least bit interested in Jeongguk’s work, he didn’t show it.

“Yeah? What about it?”

Jimin smiled brightly.

“Jeongguk did a painting just like your photo! You know, that picture of Hae-Won and the crows that you took last year?”

Jeongguk eyebrows shot up, unable to hide the look of shock on his face at what Jimin had just said. Had he heard that right?

“What? That photo…you took that photo?” Jeongguk asked, completely floored.

Taehyung nodded.

“Yeah, that silhouette series…it was for my independent study last year.” Taehyung said, and Jeongguk could swear he almost seemed shy to admit it.

“Those photos are incredible.” Jeongguk said without even thinking, still stunned to learn that Taehyung was the photographer of the inspiring photos that Jeongguk hadn’t been able to stop looking at.

No wonder Taehyung was the teaching assistant for his photography class. He really did know what he was talking about.

“Are you a fine arts major too?” Jeongguk asked, suddenly wanting to know everything he could know about Taehyung’s obvious talent.

Taehyung’s eyes sparkled as he smiled at Jeongguk’s eagerness.

“Indeed I am, with a concentration in photography. I…I also do some photos for the university paper. It’s really just a hobby…I guess.” He said, so endearingly humble that Jeongguk’s heart thumped.

Jeongguk knew he shouldn’t have seemed as surprised as he was, but he’d had no clue that Taehyung was a photography student, which only made him wonder what else he didn’t know about Kim Taehyung.

“You should show him the painting.” Jimin said, a cunning smile on his face as he looked back and forth between Jeongguk and Taehyung.

Jeongguk could feel his cheeks turning pink at the suggestion, and quickly shook his head.

“It’s…I don’t have a picture of it…and, it’s not really done yet.” He replied, looking away from Taehyung’s gaze.

No matter how proud he was of his painting, he wasn’t sure he would have done it if he’d known that the photo he’d used had been taken by Taehyung. He could only imagine what Taehyung’s critique might consist of, and if the word “subpar” would be used.

“Bullshit! It’s totally done. Taehyung, you gotta see it.”

Taehyung nodded, smiling softly as he looked at Jeongguk.

“I’d love to see it, but I’ll wait until Jeongguk feels it’s finished. In the meantime, I gotta get going.” Taehyung said as he handed the blunt back to Seokjin after taking one last hit before pulling out his phone to check the time.

Jeongguk could feel his heart sink to his stomach, holding back from saying the word “no” as it sat like a lump in his throat. He didn’t notice how Jimin had nudged Yoongi and motioned for Seokjin to follow him over to another part of the patio, leaving Jeongguk and Taehyung alone.

“Do you really have to go right now?” Jeongguk made himself ask as he gave Taehyung a half-lidded gaze, hoping the ballplayer might change his mind.

Taehyung shook his head as he stuck his phone in his back pocket.

“I’m supposed to meet someone. Why? Got a photography question you want to ask now that you know that I’m not some asshole who sends emails just to be a dick?” He asked with a laugh, obviously aware that Jeongguk might not have been previously convinced of Taehyung’s knowledge on the subject.

Jeongguk chuckled.

“No, but I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you somewhere more….private?”

He gave Taehyung his most alluring look, the one that always worked and never failed to get Jeongguk what he was after.

But Taehyung shook his head again, that smirk showing up for the sole purpose of making Jeongguk weak in the knees.

“You’re cute, Jeon, but I don’t date students who take classes that I’m the TA for. No matter how sexy they are, nor if they wonder how good I am at kissing.” He said, his voice low as he patted Jeongguk’s cheek.

“Goodnight, Jeongguk.” He said with a wink before walking away.

It wasn’t until Taehyung had disappeared that Jeongguk finally took a deep breath, the unfamiliar feeling of defeat washing over him like an unwanted hug from a creepy relative.

“What? Never been rejected before?” Jimin asked as he walked back over to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk scowled at his friend and roommate.

“Actually…no. And it fucking sucks.”

Jimin shook his head, clicking his tongue as he looked at Jeongguk closely.

“Well, there’s only one reason why Taehyung would turn down a beefcake like you, Guk.” He said with a chuckle.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

“Please, enlighten me.” Jeongguk said as he took a sip of the beer he was still holding.

Jimin smiled brightly.

“It means he thinks you’re worth more than a one time fuck. To be honest, Jeongguk, I think you and Taehyung just became friends.”

---

Friends. That’s not exactly what Jeongguk had been looking for when it came to Kim Taehyung.

“Don’t think of it as a bad thing, Gukkie. Tae is an awesome friend.” Jimin said later that night as the two roommates sat on their living room sofa eating bowls of ramen before calling it a night.

“I guess, but I wouldn’t really know since he’s kind of an asshole when it comes to being a TA.” Jeongguk replied, still feeling the sting of having been friend-zoned by Taehyung.

Jimin chuckled.

“No, he just takes what he does very seriously. Tae is really talented, but not many people know much about him other than baseball. It’s kind of sad, to be honest, because he’s also an amazing dancer and singer. He even plays piano, but all anyone can ever talk about is baseball.”

Jeongguk looked up at his friend, his eyes wide with surprise.

“Really? I had no idea. I mean, I hadn’t even considered the fact that Taehyung was a fine arts major. I just thought he was getting to be a TA for the hell of it.” Jeongguk admitted.

Jimin nodded.

“See? There’s a lot more to him than what most people see. And add to the fact that he and his girlfriend broke up over the summer. They had been together ever since our freshman year of college, but…it was a shitty relationship.” Jimin said, his demeanor changing as his eyebrows knitted together with unease.

“What happened?” Jeongguk asked quietly, not wanting to know for gossip reasons but out of genuine interest in learning about who Taehyung really was.

“Hae-Won and Taehyungie first met when they had a biology class together. But the relationship was constantly on and off. They would make up and break up like every couple of months. It was a co-dependency of the worst kind. She…she just wasn’t good to Tae and she wasn’t good for Tae. Hae-Won bagged on everything he did, didn’t like that he had dated guys, didn’t like that he did photography, didn’t like us as his friends. She pushed him to keep doing baseball even when he wanted to quit during our sophomore year, she pushed him to take a shitty ass job at her dad’s law office downtown, and she pushed him to do whatever she thought was best.” Jimin sighed before continuing.

“She acted like his fucking mom half the time. It was fucked up. But Taehyung finally reclaimed his balls and broke up with her when last semester ended. He didn’t want to spend his senior year being miserable. He crashed with Seokjin for a while before getting his own place off campus after Jin told the dean that their star player needed his own living space. But now, it’s just become Tae’s fuck pad. He’s become a huge slut.” Jimin said with a shake of his head.

“Why do you think that is?” Jeongguk asked, very aware of Taehyung’s reputation as a campus lothario.

Jimin shrugged.

“I don’t know exactly, Tae won’t talk about it, but I think Hae-Won did such a number on him that he’s trying to gain back some self-worth. I guess the random hookups are a boost to his shattered ego. I don’t fucking know, Guk, I’m not a psych major.”

Jeongguk sighed as he shook his head.

“No, I think you might be onto something there, Jimin. It makes sense that he’d be trying to build himself back up if his ex was so good at fucking with his self-esteem.”

He couldn’t help but feel sympathy for Taehyung, and he was glad to have a better understanding of who he was. Maybe getting a chance to be Tae’s friend was actually a much better thing than he had previously thought.

“I can’t believe you told him about my painting.” Jeongguk said with a reticent grin as he finished up his meal.

Jimin smiled deviously.

“Just trying to give you two some common ground to start with. I can’t believe you didn’t know it was his photo you were painting!”

Jeongguk chuckled.

“I had no clue. But…he’s really good. I love those silhouette photos.”

Jimin smiled knowingly.

“Well, if you think those are good, you should see some of his other work. Maybe he’ll show you someday.” He said with a wink.

Jeongguk’s pulse raced. As much as he would have liked to experience what a night with Taehyung might have been like, he was glad he had the opportunity to have more than just that with the man who was so loved by his closest friends.

A man who was a lot more than he could have ever imagined.

---

Jeongguk hadn’t seen much of Taehyung the following week.

From what Joon-Yi had found out, Taehyung was apparently busy working on a project for Professor Kang’s intro film photography class, and working in the darkroom across the hall.

In a way, Jeongguk was glad. He still hadn’t quite gotten over the embarrassment of his attempt at hitting on Taehyung at Seokjin’s party. So not having to face Taehyung yet had been a relief for his damaged pride.

“I never would have guessed that you’d strike out with Taehyung. No pun intended.” Joon-Yi had said when Jeongguk had texted her over the weekend, filling her in on what had happened with Taehyung.

Even now, she had seemed more bummed out about the rejection than Jeongguk was.

“I mean, it’s fine. I’m actually kind of flattered that he wants to be friends.” Jeongguk said as the two sat in class, taking the notes Professor Lee was writing on the whiteboard.

Joon-Yi rolled her eyes.

“I guess…but I just don’t get it. You two would be so good together. I was honestly like already thinking about the groom’s maid dress I was going to wear at your super cute, gay wedding.”

Jeongguk scoffed.

“We’re bi, not gay. And…groom’s maid?”

Joon-Yi smiled.

“I love how those are the two things you are pointing out and not the fact that I just imagined you two getting married.”

Jeongguk chuckled.

“While I get that you are wanting to make a love connection happen, I really am okay with just being friends.” He replied.

But it was true, after having talked to Jimin about Taehyung, Jeongguk understood a lot more about who he was, that Taehyung wasn’t just a baseball player with killer looks. There was a lot more to him, and Jeongguk was curious about all that he hadn’t yet learned about Kim Taehyung.

Nonetheless, it still startled him when he got to his painting class about fifteen minutes early the next day and found Taehyung in the studio walking around casually, looking like a total snack in a white Henley and snug black jeans, his mint hair flopping over a red bandana.

Jeongguk’s heart was in his throat at the sight. Why did the guy have to be so fucking beautiful?

“Hey…Taehyung…what brings you to this side of the hallway?” Jeongguk asked, trying to forget how the last conversation he’d had with Taehyung had gone.

Taehyung smiled as he stuck his hands in the back pockets of his jeans.

“I…uh…I was just curious about your painting.” He replied as he looked around the room.

“I was hoping you’d show it to me, but only if you want to.”

Jeongguk sucked in a breath, not having expected Taehyung to remember what Jimin had said about the painting he had done based on Taehyung’s photo, but beyond flattered that he had.

“Yeah, sure…it’s…over this way.” Jeongguk replied as he led Taehyung over to the wall of canvas racks where the painting students stored their work.

He carefully pulled out the large canvas and turned it around so Taehyung could see it, his pulse racing out of control, nervous about what Taehyung might think.

Typically, Jeongguk would be unapologetic about his work, not caring what others might think of what he created. But this particular painting was based on Taehyung’s original photography, which made Jeongguk unusually anxious.

He watched as Taehyung looked it over, regarding it carefully before a large grin broke across his face.

“This is really good, Jeongguk. I’m…really impressed.”

Jeongguk breathed a sigh of relief.

“The colors…they’re so unusual…and the blurred edges.” Taehyung sighed as his eyes moved around the canvas.

“You took my photo and made it…mysterious…and enchanting. I…I love it.”

Jeongguk beamed at the compliment, his heart beating so rapidly he prayed it wouldn’t give out on him. Taehyung loved the painting, and he could hardly believe it.

“Well, your photo was already mysterious and enchanting to me. It’s why I wanted to paint it when we were given this assignment.” Jeongguk replied as he put the painting back inside the rack after letting Taehyung take a picture of it with his phone.

“You have real talent, Guk.” Taehyung said quietly, his dark eyes focused on Jeongguk as he spoke.

“And I know you’ve been frustrated with photography. Jimin tells me you’re a straight-A perfectionist.”

Jeongguk swallowed hard. Jimin and Taehyung had been talking about him? He suddenly had an overwhelming need to interrogate his roommate on everything that was said.

“I am, and I can’t help it, which has made photography a huge pain in my ass.” Jeongguk replied with a chuckle.

Taehyung smiled, nodding his head.

“I noticed that you haven’t sent anything in for the depth of field assignment yet. Do you want some help with it?” He asked as he suddenly handed his phone to Jeongguk.

“Put in your number and we can set something up, if you want.”

Jeongguk took the phone in his hand, unable to stop from smiling at Taehyung’s offer.

“Yeah, that would be great…thank you.” Jeongguk replied as he typed in his number and saved it.

“Great, I look forward to it. And…thank you for showing me the painting, Jeongguk. I’m really flattered that my photo spoke to you in a way that led to something so incredible to be created from it.” Taehyung said as he glanced over at the canvas rack where the painting was safely tucked away.

“Honestly…you made my day.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widened at the soft way Taehyung had spoken, his eyes capturing Jeongguk’s in a way that made the younger’s heart pound mercilessly inside his chest.

“Well, the fact that you like it made mine too.” Jeongguk replied, doing his absolute best to not stare at Taehyung’s gorgeous mouth.

But it was impossible when Taehyung smiled that incredible smile of his.

“Well…I gotta get back to the darkroom. I’ll talk to you later.” Taehyung said with a nod, breaking the spell Jeongguk had been under.

It wasn’t until Taehyung had left the studio that Jeongguk took out his phone and sent a quick text.

 - I hope you didn’t trash my photography skills as some cheap ploy to hang out with me.

He typed quickly before pressing send, feeling much more confident to flirt via text message.

Only a few seconds ticked by before he got a response.

 - Even if that were true, handsome, I’d never tell you…

Jeongguk smiled from ear to ear at Taehyung’s reply, his heart quickening at the thought that there might be a small possibility that this new friendship might lead to the hookup Jeongguk had been after ever since he’d first met Taehyung.

 - You can’t call me handsome and then tell me you won’t go out with me.

Jeongguk shot back, smirking to himself.

 - Yes I can. I’m just stating facts while also remaining within the student and TA boundaries…not my fault you’re hot.

Jeongguk chuckled quietly as his fellow classmates began to trickle into the studio. Class would be starting soon and he needed to get set up, but not before sending one last text.

 - You won’t be able to resist me for long, Kim…just wait

Jeongguk put his phone away, unable to stop from grinning as he set up his easel. It was just harmless flirting, he could still just be friends with Taehyung despite the intense attraction.

In fact, he wanted to be friends with him. He wanted to get the chance to dive deep into the obscurity of the baseball playing photographer, and he would do it in whatever way was available to him, even if it never became more.

Because something more never seemed to work out for Jeongguk anyway. 

To be continued…

Chapter Text

“I know it can be confusing. You tend to think that if your aperture is a smaller number, like 2.8, that the amount of light coming through your lens is smaller, but it’s actually the opposite. The smaller the number of your aperture setting, the more light you’re letting in and the less depth of field you have.”

Jeongguk nodded as he listened closely to Taehyung explaining their latest photography assignment. After a week of texting back and forth, the two had finally managed to lock down a day to get together and go over it.

And even if Taehyung was only doing this out of obligation to his job as a TA, Jeongguk was still happy to be hanging out with him.

With all the text conversations the two had been having, Jeongguk had learned a lot more about Taehyung, and he could feel the connection blooming between them. He wondered if Taehyung felt it too.

 - You still seeing that Sang guy, the one with the good weed?

Jeongguk had texted earlier in the week, unable to hide his curiosity.

 - Not really. Why? You want some of it? I still have some, but I’m only sharing if you promise to get straight A’s this term.

Jeongguk had chuckled to himself, but he hadn’t really cared about the weed, just about if Taehyung was still single and available.

 - Like Jimin told you, I’m all about getting A’s. Hopefully my sexy TA will help me get an A in my photography class.

His cheeks hurt from smiling, but it was beyond his control. Flirting with Taehyung over text had become his new favorite pastime.

 - Very cute. By the way, I got you some comp’d tickets for the baseball games this coming season, if you want them.

Jeongguk’s heart skipped a beat when he’d read Taehyung’s text. He had really thought to get him free tickets and Jeongguk was humbled by the gesture.

 - Did you get me tickets for the away games too? I’d drive all over South Korea to watch you play.

It was the honest truth. The more Jeongguk got to know Taehyung, the more he wanted to be around him. He was a mystery, and one that Jeongguk wanted badly to solve.

 - You’re sweet, Guk. Jimin warned me about how charming you are. He thinks I should hookup with you.

Jeongguk’s heart was battering around inside his chest as his body tingled. Jimin was absolutely the best wingman and roommate ever. Jeongguk vowed to pay for Jimin’s next three steak dinners.

 - God bless that boy. And for what it’s worth, I completely agree with him.

The flirtation was fun, and it made Jeongguk’s heart flutter wildly when he thought about it. But Taehyung was clearly still hesitant to be anything more than friends. Nevertheless, he and Jeongguk had somehow ended up having lots of random conversations, but conversations that Jeongguk always looked forward to.

He had found out all kinds of things about Kim Taehyung he had never expected. Like the fact that Taehyung had grown up on a farm in Daegu where he learned more than anyone would ever need to know about the habits of chickens. That he had a trapdoor memory, which was how Hobi had managed to convince Taehyung to join his hip-hop dance troupe over the summer so he could help teach the choreography. That he had absolutely loathed his job at the law firm, and quit to go work at a photo studio in the nearby Hoesan-ro district.

Jeongguk learned that Taehyung liked wine more than any other alcohol but that the other guys gave him so much shit for bringing it to parties that he stopped bringing it. That Taehyung briefly quit baseball so he could play a year of soccer in 9^th grade as the goalie, but he was awful at it. That he loved to smoke weed but had to be careful about how much or he would get too lazy to workout and end up eating too many Oreos. That he loved American sitcoms, little dogs, green tea ice cream, and watching the sunrises at Jeongdongjin Beach.

 - Most people go there on New Year’s day to watch the sunrise, but it’s absolutely breathtaking almost 365 days out of the year if the weather is nice. I can’t even tell you how many photos I’ve taken of it, but I can never really capture how amazing it is. You should see it one day, Guk…if you’re willing to get up that early.

Jeongguk had replied to Taehyung that he hoped they could go watch the sunrise together someday, but Taehyung hadn’t responded.

He knew Taehyung was still getting over his relationship with his ex, Hae-Won. He could tell by some of the little things Taehyung would say.

Jeongguk knew he should be more patient and just enjoy the friendship he was building with Taehyung. He didn’t want to lose it all just because he wanted to take things a little further than the platonic level they were currently on.

But on the same token, he wanted desperately to build up Taehyung’s self-worth. Hae-Won had definitely fucked with Taehyung’s head when it came to how he saw himself, and it broke Jeongguk’s heart. From what he had discovered so far, Taehyung was extraordinary, and he didn’t deserve to feel anything less than that.

Jeongguk sighed as he brought his attention back to the task at hand, forcing himself to concentrate solely on his camera settings and his photo subject rather than on Taehyung.

Because every time Taehyung was about to speak, he would lick his lips, causing Jeongguk to get lost in all kinds of thoughts that had nothing to do with taking photos of the rock wall at Gangmun Beach, the location that Taehyung had insisted would be a great spot for taking depth of field photos.

The beach was filled with unusual sculptures, the kinds of things that would definitely make for some interesting shots. For the first time since school began, Jeongguk was looking forward to working on his photography assignment.

“So start with making your aperture small, an f-stop of 16. You’ll notice you have more depth of field, the rock wall will be in focus almost all the way to the end.”

Jeongguk crouched low, focusing on the part of the rock wall that was closest to him. He took several shots before showing them to Taehyung.

“Good. See how clear the wall is? Now change your f-stop to 5.6, and you’ll notice the difference.”

Jeongguk did as Taehyung suggested, and focused his camera again on the same spot.

“Wow, yeah…the wall is starting to lose focus. So what if I do like a 2.8? It’s going to get even more out of focus, right?”

Taehyung nodded, grinning.

“Right! Whatever you focus on will stay in focus, but everything else will get fuzzier. Give it a try.”

Jeongguk chuckled.

“Fuzzier? Is that the technical term?”

Taehyung shook his head, grinning.

“Probably not, but it just feels right. It’s a Tae term.” He replied with a laugh.

After Jeongguk had taken a sufficient amount of photos for the assignment, the two wandered the beach aimlessly, stopping every so often when they saw something that was interesting enough to take a few snaps of before moving on.

Jeongguk was in awe of Taehyung with his incredibly expensive looking camera, and how he handled it so easily while Jeongguk felt so awkward with his own simple 35mm. He watched how Taehyung would pause, regarding his subject before lining up his lens, and Jeongguk couldn’t help but take a picture of Taehyung while he was immersed in his element.

“I never really knew there was more to taking pictures then just a simple point and click.” Jeongguk said as the two walked across the pedestrian bridge to a small coffee shop overlooking the water.

They hadn’t originally planned on hanging out after being at the beach, but Jeongguk wasn’t about to say no when Taehyung had suggested getting coffee.

“I feel really ignorant about it, especially as an art student.”

Taehyung pursed his lips as he poured a packet of sugar in his large Americano once they had ordered and sat down.

“That’s the thing, Guk. Anyone can take a photo, and almost everyone in the world has at some point. But it’s another thing to take photos in an artistic way. To think about your composition and the contrasts, the movement and mood. That’s when you can make taking pictures be something a whole lot more meaningful. It’s like painting, except your lens is your brush.”

To anyone who wasn’t paying close enough attention, they might think Taehyung sounded pretentious in how he saw his art, but Jeongguk knew better. What he saw was passion, and it was inspiring.

“When did you get into photography?” He asked curiously before taking a sip of his cappuccino.

Taehyung smiled wistfully as he looked out the window next to their table, conjuring up the memory.

“When I was in 7^th grade. I was really shy, so it was hard for me to make friends. My aunt had given me her old 35mm film camera when she’d bought a new digital one. I would save up my allowance to buy film and then just walk around during lunchtime and after school, taking photos of the most random shit.”

He chuckled at the memory before continuing.

“I’d find an apple core or something and sit it on top of a garbage can with dandelions and an empty soda can, trying to be all artsy and shit. But after a while, people started asking me to take pictures of them with their friends or family, or to take pictures of them playing ball or running track. Eventually, one of my teachers asked me to take photos for the yearbook, so it just kind of became my thing. It’s also what led me to baseball.”

Jeongguk hadn’t even realized how engrossed he’d been in listening to Taehyung until he had suddenly pointed at his coffee.

“That’s going to get cold, Jeonggukie.” He said with a smile that practically melted Jeongguk’s heart.

How was this guy affecting him like this? It was the weirdest sensation in his chest, but he did his best to push it aside, ignore it.

“So, baseball? Photography got you into baseball?” Jeongguk asked, wanting Taehyung to keep telling him his story.

Taehyung nodded.

“Yeah, so…one day, I was just minding my own business, taking photos at the ballfield for a local business that was sponsoring one of the teams. Apparently, some of the players had gotten sick the night before and weren’t able to make it to their game that day.” He said with a shrug.

“The coach needed at least one person to keep from having to forfeit, so he asked me if I could fill in. I was nervous as fuck, though. I had never played any sports before. But he told me that he’d give me 50,000 won if I would play, and there was no way I was going to pass up money to buy more film. So, I said sure.”

Taehyung shook his head, smiling modestly, causing Jeongguk to smile too.

“I scored my first homerun that day, and the coach begged me to join the team. He even called my parents and asked them if I could play. They were ecstatic and said yes. And the rest is history.”

He sat back, sipping his coffee, and for a quick moment, Jeongguk thought he saw a look of anguish on Taehyung’s handsome face.

“Did you want to play?” Jeongguk asked, realizing that Taehyung hadn’t even said if he actually liked playing baseball.

“Like, did the coach and your parents even ask you if it was something you wanted to do?” Jeongguk asked carefully, not wanting to make any assumptions but curious to know what Taehyung came from.

Taehyung shook his head.

“No, and I didn’t want to make a big deal about it. I was finally good at something that my family was proud of, so I went with it. It made me happy to see them happy. I mean…don’t get me wrong, I like playing ball…it’s just…it’s not…” Taehyung’s voice trailed off, as if he wasn’t sure how to explain how he felt.

“It’s not what you love to do more than anything else.” Jeongguk finished for him.

Taehyung looked up, making Jeongguk’s heart lurch inside his chest. Just the eye contact alone caused his entire body to tremble. What the hell?

“Exactly.” Taehyung replied as his eyes stayed locked on Jeongguk’s.

“I totally get it.” Jeongguk said with a nod.

“I played sports growing up too, but it was never my passion. Soccer isn’t my passion, but it got me here whereas drawing didn’t. My parents would like to see me do something with my life that will give me security. You know, something that I’ll never have to question whether or not I’ll be set financially. But I think the most secure thing you can do is something you love, no matter how much money you make. I told them that I know that whatever I decide to do with my life, it has to be something that means something to me.”

Taehyung leaned forward in his seat, smiling at the conviction with which Jeongguk spoke.

“I admire you for that, Jeon. I wish I had the nerve to tell my parents that I’m going to do what I want to do, that I don’t want to go pro, no matter how much money I make from it. Because the reality is, I probably only have a good eight years left, maybe ten, and then what happens? I become some washed up, forgotten baseball star that no one remembers once the next great thing comes along? It just seems so…unfulfilling. And then…what have I missed out on during all those years busting my ass trying to be the best?”

Taehyung shook his head as he looked out the window again, as if the answer was out there somewhere in the East Sea.

“Fuck…I’m sorry…this conversation got way too serious, didn’t it?” Taehyung asked with a chuckle as he turned back to Jeongguk.

But Jeongguk shook his head.

“I don’t think so…I…I’ve actually really enjoyed talking to you, especially when I completely understand how you feel.”

Taehyung sighed as he gave Jeongguk a shy grin.

“You’re easy to talk to, Jeongguk. Thank you for listening. It’s been a while since I’ve talked about things like this to someone.”

Jeongguk looked at him, confused.

“What about Jimin? And the other guys? I thought you were all really close.”

Taehyung nodded adamantly.

“Oh we are, definitely. And I know they’re always there for me. But I feel as though I owe them a break. Those guys have put up with a lot of my shit over the past few years.”

Jeongguk chuckled, not wanting to tell Taehyung that he already knew some of what that shit had been.

“Well…then I guess it’s a good thing I came along, Kim.” Jeongguk replied with a genuine smile as he gazed at his newfound friend.

“Because, I don’t think I’d mind putting up with your shit.”

---

“Happy birthday, Jeonggukie!”

Jeongguk smiled shyly as Jimin held out a cake in front of him, topped with candles and carefully cut pieces of fruit glazed with sugar, looking almost too good to eat.

Jimin and Yoongi had decided to plan a bonfire party at Gyeongpo Beach to celebrate Jeongguk’s birthday, no matter how he had tried to convince them that it wasn’t a big deal, that a party wasn’t necessary. But his new friends had insisted.

“We have a perfectly good excuse to get drunk, Gukkie, so we are celebrating your birth and your entrance into our lives.” Had been Jimin’s exact words a few days earlier.

They had invited everyone, even Jeongguk’s soccer team. But there was only one guest in particular that Jeongguk was hoping would show up.

But Taehyung still hadn’t arrived.

“We would have celebrated sooner but you neglected to tell me that your birthday was weeks ago.” Jimin said with a mock scowl.

“How did you find out?” Jeongguk asked curiously as he picked a piece of kiwi off the top of the cake and popped it into his mouth.

Jimin smiled sheepishly.

“Well, when I went into your room to borrow your gray hoodie, I just happened to notice the birthday card from your mom and dad on your desk.”

Jeongguk shook his head, but he couldn’t help but laugh.

“I was wondering where my hoodie went. You better return it soon and clean too!”

Jimin nodded, chuckling.

“Just blow the candles out, asshole.”

Jeongguk did as he was told as everyone cheered.

And as slices of the cake were passed around, Jeongguk drank a beer, trying not to sulk over the fact that Taehyung wasn’t there. Even the Seokjin Shot that Seokjin had made him, and the generously rolled blunt that Yoongi had given him didn’t seem to ease the wound-up tension in his body.

He was sure Jimin would have told Taehyung about the party, but Taehyung hadn’t even mentioned it when they had been texting the night before.

Jeongguk wondered if he’d had other plans, but he hated to think about what those plans might be. As much as he didn’t want to be jealous, he was.

“I’ve never seen a birthday boy look so depressed.” Joon-Yi said as she took a seat beside Jeongguk on the beach blanket in front of the crackling bonfire.

Jeongguk shook his head as he looked around at how coupled-up all his friends looked.

Namjoon and Seokjin were discreetly holding hands while talking quietly to each other. Jimin and Yoongi were cuddled together watching the fire hiss and spark. And Hoseok was calmly smoking while bopping his head to the music coming from the Bluetooth speaker next to him as the sky grew darker.

Everyone looked so happy and peaceful. Why couldn’t he feel that way too?

“I’m not depressed. I’m having a great time.” He lied with a faint smile on his face.

Lately, Joon-Yi had been hanging out with his group of friends quite a bit, and she had fit right in. So well, in fact, that she and Hoseok had apparently gone out alone a few nights earlier, and Jeongguk had happily given them both his approval. Even now, Hoseok looked over and smiled, the spot next to him waiting for Joon-Yi to return.

“Then why do you look like your dog just died, you got fired from your job, and you lost your best friend all at the same time?”

Jeongguk shrugged as he took a sip of his beer.

“Oh…I know…a certain teaching assistant with a glorious ass and perfect jawline isn’t here to give you a birthday kiss. Is that it?” She asked with a teasing grin as she nudged Jeongguk in the side, attempting to make him laugh.

“Shut it, Joonbug.” Jeongguk said with a chuckle as he nudged her back.

But after a few minutes, Joon-Yi let out a long sigh, noticing how deep in thought Jeongguk was.

“Ya know…I think you might be in love, Guk.”

Jeongguk‘s heart jumped into his throat as he shook his head, ready to disagree.

“I don’t fall in love, Joon-Yi, you know that. It’s always like this for me. I like someone, I go out with them, then after a few weeks it’s over. I’m just not built for that kind of love. With Tae, it’s…he’s my friend…and I just…I like being around him.”

Joon-Yi nodded slowly, a look on her face as if she knew something that Jeongguk didn’t yet.

“And when you’re not around him, you’re depressed as hell.”

But before Jeongguk could respond with a denial, as weak as it would have been, a familiar white baseball cap suddenly came into view.

Taehyung.

Jeongguk’s heartbeat quickened as Taehyung got closer, his gaze finding Jeongguk, a smile appearing on his face.

Jeongguk didn’t even notice that Joon-Yi had taken her exit so the two could sit together as everyone waved their hello’s to Taehyung.

“Happy birthday, Jeonggukie! I’m sorry I’m late.” Taehyung said as he took a seat on the beach blanket where Joon-Yi had just been.

“But I was trying to find this.” He said as he handed Jeongguk a small gift bag, a shy smile covering his face.

Jeongguk couldn’t hide his disbelief.

“What? You didn’t have to get me anything!”

But Taehyung shook his head.

“It’s nothing great, just something I wanted you to have.”

Jeongguk’s heart was racing. Taehyung was sitting so close, and he smelled so good, and he looked so good, and Jeongguk wanted nothing more than to kiss the fuck out of him.

But he quickly distracted himself by pulling the tissue paper out of the bag and fishing out what was inside.

Jeongguk grinned from ear to ear when he discovered an old 35mm camera and four rolls of film.

“It’s my old camera from high school. I thought…if you wanted to learn to take film photos, you could use this one…and then I can show you how to develop them in the darkroom.” Taehyung said, his voice sounding nervous, something Jeongguk had never heard before.

“Wow…this is amazing, Tae…thank you so much.” Jeongguk replied, genuinely touched by the thoughtful gift, his pulse already out of control at the thought of being in the darkroom alone with Taehyung.

“I can show you how to load the film real quick.” Taehyung said as he reached for the camera, his warm hands brushing against Jeongguk’s as he showed him how to open the back of the camera.

Jeongguk told himself to concentrate on what Taehyung was doing and not on the way the glow of the bonfire danced across Taehyung’s unmarred, golden skin, making him look ethereal but deadly and the only human being who could make Jeongguk completely dumbfounded.

“You want to make sure the cassette snaps into place, then pull just a little bit of the film out so it will automatically roll around the take-up reel when you close the back.”

Jeongguk nodded as he watched before Taehyung grabbed another roll of the film so Jeongguk could try.

“You got it. Sweet.” Taehyung said with a broad smile once Jeongguk had successfully loaded the film roll.

Jeongguk sighed, sure that it was the best present he had ever been given in his entire life.

“Thank you again, Taehyung. You really didn’t have to do this, but…I’ll take good care of it.” Jeongguk said with a tender smile as he gazed at the camera in his hands, wondering how many photos Taehyung had taken with it, wondering what those photos had been of.

“Also, I think it’s only appropriate that the first picture I take with it is of the giver himself.”

Taehyung smiled as he covered his face with his hands.

“Ah, no. This wasn’t my vain attempt to get you to photograph me, Jeon.” Taehyung said with a self-conscious chuckle.

Jeongguk shook his head.

“I know, but I insist. It’s my birthday and you have to do what I say.” Jeongguk replied as he pulled Taehyung’s hands away from his face.

“Is that right? I have to do whatever the birthday boy wants?” Taehyung asked with that flirtatious smirk that just about ended Jeongguk every single time.

But before Jeongguk could counter with a flirty comeback, a flash of lightening followed by a crack of thunder reverberated across the beach.

“Holy shit! That came out of nowhere!” Hoseok yelped as he suddenly jumped up and pulled Joon-Yi to her feet.

It was a hectic scramble to collect blankets and beer coolers as white veins of lightening streaked across the sky above, thunder rumbling in waves right behind it.

And then the rain was on them, falling in heavy sheets as everyone scattered and ran towards the parking lot.

Jeongguk clung to the gift bag as Taehyung held the beach blanket over the two of them.

“You can ride with me! I’ll take you home!” Taehyung shouted over the thunder as the two jogged towards Taehyung’s pickup truck.

Jeongguk smiled to himself. Best birthday ever.

They laughed, panting from the clamber to escape the storm as they climbed into the cab of Taehyung’s truck.

“Sorry your birthday got ruined.” Taehyung said as he took off his hat and ran a hand through his mint locks.

Jeongguk bit his bottom lip to keep from gasping at the sight.

“It’s not ruined.” Jeongguk replied softly, causing Taehyung to pause and look at him.

His heart was louder than the thunder above as Taehyung regarded him, looking as though he wanted to ask why, but daring not to. Taehyung had a colossal amount of self-control and he clearly wasn’t going to compromise it just because they were caught in what could be an incredibly romantic moment.

Instead, he filled the silence by starting up the truck, pulling out of the parking lot to get on the main road while asking Jeongguk about Busan.

“Jimin said it’s the most laid-back city in South Korea.”

Jeongguk chuckled. It was a pretty accurate description.

“Yeah, it is. I mean, Gangneung has great beaches too, from what I’ve seen, but I think there’s just something about Busan beaches that really chills people out. Maybe it’s the culture…or maybe it’s all the spa’s.” Jeongguk explained with a laugh while Taehyung listened intently.

“But really, how can you be uptight and edgy when you live in paradise? There’s just beauty everywhere…and the art scene is really incredible. I think it’s what influenced me the most when it comes to my own art. The creative community as a whole is just mind-blowingly good. Have you ever been?”

Taehyung nodded.

“I have, but only for ball games. I never got a chance to stay and see the sites. I never even got to go to the beach there.” He replied with a regretful sigh.

Jeongguk smiled, as an idea came to him.

“Well, maybe you need someone to take you and show you around. We have the best milmyeon in all of Korea, so it’s imperative that you try it.”

Taehyung chuckled.

“I’m sold. That would actually be really nice. And I bet there’s a lot of amazing places to take photos.”

Jeongguk nodded.

“More than you can even imagine.”

The two fell silent as the windshield wipers swished back and forth, but it didn’t feel the least bit awkward. In fact, it felt strangely comfortable. Regardless, Jeongguk re-lit the blunt from Yoongi and took a deep inhale before passing it to Taehyung.

“Don’t let me have more than two hits or my driving will get sloppy.” Taehyung said with a laugh after he exhaled his first hit.

“Got it. Hey…I keep meaning to ask you, when’s the next scrimmage?” Jeongguk asked, wanting a chance to cheer Taehyung on from the stands as his friend and no longer a stranger.

Taehyung grinned, as if he already knew that Jeongguk would drop everything to be there.

“Actually, it’s next Saturday. Then there’s a party at my apartment after. You’re the first to know about it, so make sure you tell the guys.”

Jeongguk nodded, feeling proud to be let in on the exclusive information. And his pulse raced knowing he would get to be in Taehyung’s home, around Tae’s things, getting a peek into who he was even more.

The rain had stopped, and it was still early as Taehyung pulled into the parking lot of Jeongguk’s dorm.

“You want to come up?” Jeongguk asked, knowing Yoongi and Jimin would be arriving soon if they hadn’t already.

But Taehyung shook his head no.

“Uh…I can’t…I...I have somewhere I gotta be.” Taehyung replied, a guilt-ridden look on his face that told Jeongguk that Taehyung’s plans likely involved someone else.

Jeongguk could feel his cheeks getting warm as his heart sunk to his stomach.

“Oh…okay…yeah…no problem.” Jeongguk said, knowing he was smiling too big but desperate to not make Taehyung feel bad for having other plans.

After all, the two were just friends and nothing more.

That’s what he told himself, at least, as he thanked Taehyung again for the ride and for the gift and said goodnight.

“Where’s Tae?” Jimin asked once Jeongguk entered the dorm suite to find Yoongi, Namjoon, Seokjin, Hoseok, and Joon-Yi all sprawled around the living room, having resumed drinking and smoking while Hoseok continued to play birthday party DJ.

“He…uh…had some plans he had to get to.” Jeongguk said with a shrug, not wanting to look as disappointed as he felt.

“Damn it!” Yoongi shouted as he took a bill out of his back pocket and handed it to Namjoon.

“Pay up, bitches!” Namjoon said with a laugh.

Jeongguk looked around the room, totally confused.

“I was so sure they would fuck tonight! What the fuck?” Jimin yelped as he also handed Namjoon 50,000 won.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

“Really, you guys? You were actually taking bets on me and Tae hooking up? I told you that we’re just friends.”

But the room stared at him blankly, as if he was completely clueless.

“Yeah…okay…sure…” Seokjin replied slowly, a playful glint in his eyes.

Jeongguk couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You guys suck.” He said as he grabbed a beer from the cooler on the coffee table and collapsed on the couch next to Joon-Yi.

“We’re all rooting for you, Guk.” Joon-Yi said as she clinked her beer bottle against his.

“It’s just a matter of time, honestly. I haven’t seen Taehyung look at someone the way he looks at you in a really long time.” Jimin chimed in as he looked around the room for confirmation.

Yoongi nodded in agreement, but it didn’t make Jeongguk feel any more confident. He was still in the Taehyung Friend Zone as far as he was aware.

“Yeah, he’s just being a pussy after the mind fuck Hae-Won pulled on him.” Hoseok said with a scowl on his face.

Jeongguk shook his head.

“I figured he might still be dealing with all of that, since he hasn’t really talked about her.”

He sighed as he downed his beer, wishing he was close enough with Taehyung for him to confide whatever seemed to still haunt him when it came to his ex, but they weren’t there yet, though he hoped they would be soon. It was obvious Taehyung had a lot going on in his mind and heart that he was still protecting, and Jeongguk just wanted to be there for him.

“I really appreciate how invested you all are in whether or not I was getting birthday sex tonight, but…honestly…I’m good with where I’m at with Tae. We’re friends. Yes, I want to fuck the living daylights out of him, as I’m sure he’s well aware, but…I can do friendship. So, with that said, no more betting pools, okay?”

He looked around the room as everyone nodded, their heads hung in shame but also snickering at Jeongguk’s blunt confession regarding Taehyung.

“Now, who wants to play Super Smash Bros with me?”

---

Jeongguk had his camera loaded and ready as he walked around the back of the chain-link fence behind where the catcher of the opposing team was crouched while catching practice throws from the pitcher.

He looked over at where Taehyung stood, swinging his bat, warming up to start the scrimmage when Taehyung suddenly stopped and looked up.

“Check out that sky, Guk!” He called out as he pointed at how the sunset had created soft hues of orange, yellow and pink, so vibrant and stunning that Jeongguk had to blink twice so he could register its natural brilliance.

Jeongguk’s first instinct was to take a photo of the sunset, but the way Taehyung stared up at the sky, a serene smile on his face, caused Jeongguk to turn his lens on the ballplayer instead.

The unofficial baseball game went off without a hitch, with Taehyung playing to the cheers of the crowd, flawless and on point and so sexy it hurt as Jeongguk watched from the dugout. But as always, he pushed aside the invasive thoughts in his mind and ignored the heavy thud inside his chest.

“Upgrading to the VIP seats, huh Guk?” Seokjin asked with a teasing grin as he watched Taehyung strike out the opposing team’s second hitter.

Jeongguk chuckled, knowing his friends were going to give him a hard time at being able to hang in the dugout due to Taehyung’s insistence that he use the ballgame as an excuse to try out the film camera, but for whatever reason, he didn’t mind the teasing.

“Hey, you and Namjoon going to Taehyung’s party after the game?” He asked, changing the subject.

Seokjin nodded emphatically.

“Oh hell yeah. I never miss a chance to hang out at the place where the Seokjin Shot was first born.” He said with a chuckle as he looked over at Namjoon, who was smiling tenderly at his boyfriend.

There was something in the way the two looked at each other that Jeongguk couldn’t help but envy, and a nagging thought plagued his mind. Would he ever have something like that, and would he be okay if the answer to that question was a big, fat no?

He looked out at the field just as Taehyung was getting a third out for the Wolves, the stands rumbling with shouts of praise as Tae and the other players jogged over to the dugout for their turn at bat.

Jeongguk lifted his camera, taking a quick shot at the way Namjoon and Seokjin put their arms around Taehyung’s shoulders, congratulating him on another well-played inning.

“Bottom of the 9^th. We’re almost done and then we can go get drunk.” Taehyung said as he took a seat on the bench next to Jeongguk.

“Can’t wait. Especially since I’m bringing the best bottle of pinot noir with me.”

Taehyung looked at Jeongguk, cocking an eyebrow.

“You’re bringing wine?” He asked, grinning at how Jeongguk had remembered his preference when it came to drinking.

“Yep, and I don’t give a shit if anyone has a problem with it.” Jeongguk said loudly as he looked over at Namjoon and Seokjin.

“It was just like one, maybe two, times that we made fun of him for it!” Namjoon said as he threw up his arms.

“Fucking hell, Tae, you’re making us look like dicks.” Seokjin added, teasingly.

But Jeongguk still refused to share the bottle with the other guys as he poured himself and Taehyung a glass once the game was over and they were at Taehyung’s apartment.

Taehyung had given Jeongguk a quick tour of the spacious, two-bedroom condo. And Jeongguk hadn’t been at all surprised to find framed photos covering the walls in each room.

“Are all these yours?” Jeongguk asked he stared at the walls in the living room as everyone else sat around smoking, drinking, and listening to music while playing a raucous game of Uno.

Taehyung shook his head.

“No…actually. Most of my work is stored away in the spare room. I like to put other people’s work on my walls. I feel like…I don’t know…like I’m supporting all the people who enjoy what I enjoy.”

Jeongguk smiled.

“You’re surprisingly modest, you know that?”

Taehyung shrugged.

“I…I don’t know…I just…it would be easy for me to be completely full of myself, right? But, I don’t want to be that way, and I don’t want to be perceived that way.”

Jeongguk shook his head.

“Well, you’re not perceived that way. Though, when I got your first email about my pan and blur assignment, I kind of hated you.”

Taehyung laughed.

“That’s because you’re a perfectionist.” He replied as he led Jeongguk out onto his balcony, away from the loud troupe of friends that had gathered for the party.

Jeongguk scoffed.

“So are you!”

Taehyung nodded.

“Yeah, I guess I can own up to that.” He replied with a smirk.

The two sat on old, wrought iron chairs that Taehyung mentioned buying at an antique shop back in Daegu last summer, the moon shining brightly above them in the cool, night air of fall.

It was already October and Jeongguk was thankful for the reprieve from the summer heat, especially when his body was already so warm from the wine and the close proximity to Taehyung.

Their conversation covered a variety of topics as they sat and drank, but it eventually took a turn into territory that had so far gone uncharted. But Taehyung was drunk and so was Jeongguk.

“I lost count of how many people I’ve dated, to be honest.” Jeongguk was telling Taehyung after refilling their glasses with a second bottle of wine that Taehyung had found in his pantry.

“What do you like better? Guys or girls?” Taehyung asked, a lazy smile on his face as he looked at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk sighed.

“I don’t know…it really depends on the person. I like girls more depending on the girl I’m with at the time. I like guys more depending on the guy. Does that makes sense?”

Taehyung nodded.

“It does…I’ve only ever been in serious relationships…well…until recently. My longest one was with Hai-Won…but…that didn’t work out.”

Jeongguk swallowed hard, wanting to ask a million questions, but holding back.

“Jimin told me a little…but…are you okay?”

Taehyung sighed as he shut his eyes, the look on his face tranquil despite the subject matter.

“Surprisingly, yes. I mean, there are things I miss about Hae…but, I’m not the same person I was when she and I first started dating. I just got to my breaking point and had to end it. I mean, you know how it is when you go through a breakup. Parts of it are really painful.”

Jeongguk looked down at his glass, feeling anxious about what he had to confess.

“Actually…I don’t really know. I’ve never…I’ve never really felt strongly enough about anyone for it to be painful when things ended.” Jeongguk replied before taking a large sip of his wine.

“I mostly just felt relieved, but guilty.”

Taehyung looked at him curiously.

“Why is that?”

Jeongguk sighed.

“I haven’t…at least, I’m pretty sure that…I’ve never been in love.”

Taehyung eyes widened at the admission, and Jeongguk couldn’t blame him for his surprise. Jeongguk knew how strange it sounded.

“I wanted to be, and I tried to be, but those initial feelings of attraction and lust would never seem to develop into more. Once I would realize it, I would end it. Sometimes it was mutual, but sometimes it wasn’t. Hurting the people I dated…it felt awful.”

Jeongguk looked over at Taehyung, who was watching him closely.

“Does that make me a huge asshole?” He asked, hoping Taehyung didn’t look down on him for all the times he’d been the cause of a breakup.

But Taehyung shook his head.

“Not at all, Guk. You can’t help how your heart feels. And I know it sucks to hurt people you care about, but it’s commendable that you keep trying. Are you dating anyone now?” He asked, looking away casually as if he wasn’t all that interested in what Jeongguk’s answer might be.

Jeongguk shook his head.

“No.” He said as he leaned forward in his chair, bringing his face closer to Taehyung’s.

“The last person I asked out wasn’t interested.”

Taehyung smirked as he mirrored Jeongguk, now so close that just a few inches more would close the gap between them.

“Maybe they were interested, but they just didn’t know if they should be.” He replied, his voice low and seductive, making Jeongguk instantly hard.

It was so quiet as the two stared at each other, neither one sure what to do next until Jeongguk just couldn’t take it anymore and slid his hand behind Taehyung’s neck, hardly able to register the fact that he was touching the older one like this. But it was real because his heart was pounding out of control, wondering if he should dive in head first or stop himself from possibly making a huge mistake.

But thinking was overrated, because Jeongguk wanted this more than he’d wanted anything in a long time, but before he could bring Taehyung’s mouth to his own, they were suddenly interrupted.

“Yo, Tae!” Namjoon called out as he opened the sliding door to the balcony, clearly not noticing how close his two friends had been to kissing for the first time.

It was all Jeongguk could do to not whine in protest at the way Taehyung quickly jumped up.

“Sooyun is here and says she needs to talk to you.”

Taehyung nodded, glancing at Jeongguk regretfully before heading back inside the apartment.

Fuck. And who was Sooyun?

Jeongguk downed the rest of his wine, still hard at what had almost happened, and decided to call it a night and head home.

“You leaving?” Jimin asked once Jeongguk rejoined the rest of the party.

Jeongguk nodded.

“Yeah, I’m going to walk. Where’s Taehyung?”

Jimin shrugged before being distracted by the way Yoongi was nuzzling his neck as the two sat on Taehyung’s black, leather sofa.

Jeongguk walked down the hallway and noticed Taehyung’s bedroom door was closed. He approached it slowly, pressing his ear to the door, wondering if Taehyung was alone or not.

“Oh…Tae…yes…”

Nope. He wasn’t alone going by the sounds of the breathless girl moaning on the other side of the door. And she sounded like she was a having a really good time.

“’Wants to talk,’ my ass.” Jeongguk whispered to himself.

But could he blame the girl for wanting a late night hookup with Taehyung? No, he couldn’t, even though he had no idea what it might be like to be with the handsome, baseball playing photography major.

Instead, all he could do was envy Sooyun as he walked down the street towards campus, crashing onto his bed immediately once he’d arrived at his dorm.

Jeongguk hadn’t drank wine in a long time. He’d forgotten how sleepy it made him, and how vivid his dreams became.

Dreams consumed by a man who he couldn’t stop thinking about, even as he slept.

To be continued…

Chapter Text

“So are you and Hobi in love now?” Jeongguk asked playfully as he and Joon-Yi sat in class, editing photos on their computers.

Joon-Yi blushed a bright pink.

“Not in love yet…but…we did decide to be exclusive. He’s really great.” She said with a blissful sigh.

Jeongguk smiled, genuinely happy for his two friends.

“Maybe Professor Lee was right about finding love through photography. I mean, I wouldn’t have met Hoseok if I hadn’t met you, and you wouldn’t be falling super hard for Taehyung if you hadn’t taken this class.”

Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

“I’m not falling for him. And I can prove it. I went out with Migyung last night.”

Joon-Yi scrunched up her nose as she squinted at Jeongguk.

“The guy from your drawing class? Ugh, he’s so extra, Gukkie. Why on earth would you want to date him?”

Jeongguk sighed, he figured if he was going to be honest with anyone that it could be with Joon-Yi. She’d become a really good friend, someone he could confide in, and someone whose opinion he appreciated.

“To be honest…I want to keep my friendship with Taehyung intact, but it’s getting difficult because, yes, I like him a lot. And…we almost kissed at his party last weekend. So…what if we were to become more, and then it ends? What if I lose an unbelievably wonderful friendship all because I couldn’t contain how bad I want him?”

He looked around the room, making sure no one was listening in on his very personal conversation, but his classmates were solely focused on their work, not seeming to be the least bit interested in Jeongguk’s love life, or lack thereof.

“So, you are going to date other people so that being just friends with Taehyung is easier?” Joon-Yi asked, making sure she understood what Jeongguk was saying.

Jeongguk nodded.

“Exactly. Besides, Taehyung is still fucking random’s, so I can’t just sit around and hope that I’m next in line. It makes me feel pathetic.”

It was true. Jeongguk had felt like the biggest fool when he had woken up the next morning after Taehyung’s party.

The fact that Taehyung had left Jeongguk on the balcony, just as things were about to take a huge turn, only for Tae to end up fucking some girl while Jeongguk briefly listened, was enough to make Jeongguk realize that he needed to do something.

And that something was a phone call to Migyung to see if he wanted to meet up for a casual dinner sometime the following week.

A handful of days later and the two had met up at the coffee shop that was a walking distance off campus, ordering sandwiches and soup with their lattes.

It had been a decent enough date. Migyung had a lot to say so Jeongguk didn’t have to do as much of the talking.

Migyung had gone on and on about his most recent piece he had completed for his advanced painting class. How not many people would “get it” but that he was okay with that because he liked it when people came up with their own interpretations of his work.

Jeongguk nodded along, inserting comments when necessary, making sure to ask Migyung about how his drawing assignment was going and what he planned on doing after graduating.

“Oh I’m all about curating. That is the ultimate endgame goal for me. To be a gallery curator, yes.” He’d told Jeongguk, clearly passionate about his choice of future career.

Migyung was good-looking, with nice lips and a straight nose. He wore his dark blue hair just past his ears and a pair of golden rimmed glasses, an accessory “without a prescription” he’d told Jeongguk.

“It’s all about the aesthetic. How you want to be perceived.” He’d said of his overall look.

Nonetheless, Jeongguk couldn’t help but compare the art student to a certain photography TA. But there really was no comparison. Despite Migyung’s attractiveness, he didn’t even come close to touching the lethal good looks of Kim Taehyung.

Jeongguk sighed, but he forced himself to smile as Migyung droned on about Rembrandt versus Renoir, his take on Picasso being a misogynist, and how he thought Jackson Pollack was overrated.

But it had gotten late, and he knew the café would want to close up soon. So after paying for the two of them, Jeongguk had walked Migyung back to his dorm a few buildings down from Jeongguk’s, giving him a soft kiss goodnight before heading home.

“How’d it go?” Jimin had asked once he’d walked in and took a seat on the couch next to his roommate.

Jimin had been watching some old black and white movie, eating potato chips and drinking the six-pack of beer Jeongguk had just bought the night before.

“Eh.” Was all Jeongguk said as he reached for the last beer.

“Did you seriously sit here and drink five beers by yourself? Isn’t that the first sign of a serious problem, Jimin?” Jeongguk asked as he smacked Jimin playfully on the leg.

Jimin had chuckled, shaking his head.

“No. Taehyung came by earlier. In fact, he just left like 30 minutes ago.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widened as he looked at Jimin, wondering if he was just trying to be funny.

“He asked where you were.”

Jeongguk gulped.

“Did you tell him?” He had asked, his pulse racing.

He had racked his brain trying to think of all the reasons why Taehyung would just drop by like that, reasons that might not have anything to do with Jeongguk. But when it came down to it, he wanted to believe that Tae had come by to talk about the almost kiss from his party.

“Well, yeah. I don’t lie to my friends, Gukkie.” Jimin had said with a mischievous wink.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

“It’s not like he cares anyway.” Jeongguk muttered as he swigged the beer.

But Jimin shook his head.

“On the contrary, my dear Jeonggukie. Taehyung actually looked quite displeased to find out that his new bestie was out on a date when he would very much like to be the one to tap your ass.”

Jeongguk sighed, his heart doing flips at the thought of Taehyung wanting him just as much.

“I’m not trying to play games with him, Jimin. I just…I don’t know what to do.”

Jimin nodded as he put a hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder.

“Look, what harm can it do if you two become a little bit more than ‘just friends’? You said it yourself that you never fall in love, and Taehyung has sworn off falling in love. So no matter what, it doesn’t seem as if anyone is going to get hurt if you two just fuck already.”

Jeongguk chuckled. How was it possible that Jimin had just made so much sense?

“And, I told Taehyung the very same thing, so…you’re welcome.”

But Jeongguk had still been caught off guard when he’d received a text from Taehyung just as he was about to go to sleep for the night

 - Did Jimin tell you I stopped by?

Jeongguk smiled.

- Sorry I missed you.

He replied, still feeling regretful that he hadn’t gotten the chance to hangout with Taehyung.

 - It’s okay. I had just wanted to talk to you and apologize for disappearing on you the way I did.

Jeongguk’s heart filled with warmth at the apology, but it hadn’t surprised him. He wasn’t sure he had ever met a person with a kinder heart than Taehyung, which only made it sting even more knowing that he had given up on love.

 - Don’t worry about it. I was way past drunk and needed to get home anyway.

It had been partly the truth, but Jeongguk wasn’t about to tell Taehyung how jealous he had been of Sooyun.

 - I still want to make it up to you, Guk. Can we get together this week? I could show you the darkroom.

Jeongguk’s hands shook, thoughts of what Jimin had said running through his mind. Being alone with Taehyung in the campus darkroom conjured up all kinds of lascivious thoughts.

 - Can’t wait.

So when photography class ended, Jeongguk walked over to the back office where Taehyung was finishing up some work on his laptop.

“Hey, did you bring your film?” Taehyung asked as he looked up with a big smile on his face at the sight of Jeongguk.

Jeongguk nodded.

“I’ve taken two full rolls already. One is still in my camera, and I’m saving the last one for Seokjin’s Halloween party.”

Taehyung chuckled as he got up and led Jeongguk across the hall to the film photography classroom.

“Good idea. Seokjin’s annual Halloween party is legendary. We need photographic proof of it.” Taehyung said as Jeongguk followed him behind a black curtain and to a door with a light on the wall next to it.

“First thing’s first. If the light is red, someone is in there working, so you have to knock before going in. But, as you can see, when the light is off, no one is in there.”

Jeongguk nodded, his heart beating rapidly with excitement, not just at getting to learn something new and different, but also because Taehyung was the one teaching it to him.

The two entered the lab and Taehyung immediately got to work explaining what everything was in the room from the light boxes, to the trays of chemicals, to the film tanks and everything in between. Jeongguk took a mental checklist, but was sure it would take a few more visits before he had it all down.

“Before we open your canisters, I need to shut the lights off. It has to be completely dark when we unload the film. Are you okay with being in the dark?” Taehyung asked with a playful smile.

Jeongguk sighed, shaking his head.

“What? Am I five? Yes, I’m okay with the dark. Especially with you in here to protect me.” He replied, taking the opportunity to throw in some flirtation.

Taehyung chuckled as he walked over to the wall and flipped a switch, suddenly blanketing the room in total darkness.

Jeongguk’s pulse raced, his mind having trouble focusing on anything other than everything the two of them could do while in total darkness with no one else around.

“How many people have used ‘developing film’ as an excuse to fuck in here?” Jeongguk asked, causing Taehyung to laugh.

“I’m not sure. But if that’s your subtle way of asking me if I ever have, I’ll admit that I have not. Super boring, right?”

Jeongguk chuckled with relief, wondering if he could be the one to change that, but quickly shaking the thought from his mind. He was here to learn from Taehyung, not to fuck him, and mostly because he wanted badly to see how the pictures he had taken had turned out.

It was one of the hardest things to get used to when it came to taking photos on film. There was no instant gratification of seeing how the picture had turned out on the LCD screen. All he could do was wonder if what he had seen through the viewfinder was how the photo had really turned out, and he was anxious, to say the least.

So, Jeongguk listened as Taehyung explained how to open the film canister, unroll it and snip it from the plastic roller before winding the film around a metal film reel. They loaded the two reels in separate developer tanks and made sure the lids were on tightly.

“Now, I’m going to turn the lights back on so we can add the chemicals for developing.” Taehyung said as his hand brushed against Jeongguk’s, the contact causing an unexpected shiver to run up Jeongguk’s spine.

Maybe it was being unable to see in the blackness, but just that slightest of touches had sent Jeongguk into a sensory overload of desire, wanting nothing more than to grab Taehyung’s wrist and pull him into his arms.

But as always, he pushed the tempting thoughts to the back of his mind.

Taehyung showed Jeongguk how to measure the developer chemical and water, pour it into the tank, and then turn it around in their hands to agitate the film. After enough time went by, they took out the film and rinsed it before letting it hang to dry, clipped to a clothesline.

In the meantime, the two sat on the counter of the darkroom, the lighting so dim that Jeongguk couldn’t help but think about how romantic this could be if they had a couple of steaks and glasses of wine in front of them. Ugh, his brain could not stop going there.

“So if you don’t want to be a pro ballplayer, what do you want to be?” Jeongguk asked, curious about Taehyung’s plans.

Taehyung grinned at the question.

“A photojournalist.” He replied without hesitation.

“I would love to just…travel the world…taking photos of all of it.” He said with a wistful sigh.

Jeongguk immediately knew it would be the perfect career for Taehyung, and he hoped he would be able to make his dream a reality someday.

“Suits you. I could definitely see you doing something amazing like that.” Jeongguk said, his smile matching Taehyung’s.

“What about you, Gukkie? What do you think you’d like to do once you graduate?” Taehyung asked, cocking his head to the side, looking curious about what Jeongguk’s own future plans might be.

Jeongguk shook his head.

“I honestly haven’t thought as much about it as I probably should. But…I saw a posting for a teaching job at the art museum downtown. They want someone to teach a class to kids on Monday afternoons. I was thinking about applying…I think…I think I might want be an art teacher.”

Taehyung’s eyes went wide with surprise.

“That’s…that’s really cool, actually. I bet you’d be a great teacher.” Taehyung said, nodding his head at the idea.

“Well, I figured you just have to be patient and passionate about what you’re teaching. Like how you’ve been with me when it comes to teaching me about photography. No offense to Professor Lee, but I’ve learned more from you than I have from him.”

Taehyung smiled humbly as he put a hand to his chest.

“I’m honored to hear you say that. But don’t tell Lee, he’ll get so pissed at me.”

The two laughed as they spoke, enjoying each other’s company so much that they had almost forgotten about the now dry and developed film.

“So making actual prints is a whole other process, but I’ll show you how to do one from one of my rolls, and then you can make your own.” Taehyung said as he lay clips of film on a light-box and used a loupe to look at each negative.

Taehyung let Jeongguk look at the photos through the loupe as well, and Jeongguk gasped at the incredible images Taehyung had taken of the sculptures from when they had gone to Gangmun Beach. The clarity and contrast had created a mood and a feeling that Jeongguk couldn’t even describe with words.

“You are so talented.” Jeongguk said as he looked up at Taehyung, who was smiling bashfully at the compliment.

Jeongguk watched closely as Taehyung showed him how to snap the negative carrier onto the enlarger before laying out a sheet of 11x14 photo paper.

“You’ll want to make a test print, to see which aperture setting is best and then you can make a final print.”

It took making a couple of practice prints for Jeongguk to finally get the hang of it, but once he’d made his first decent print, he was fully immersed in making more, and enjoying every minute of it. No wonder Taehyung had loved photography so much. There was definitely something gratifying about the whole process.

Jeongguk had begun to appreciate photography a lot more than he had previously anticipated, and he could admit that Taehyung had almost everything to do with why.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he made prints of his favorite shots from the two film rolls, but once he had pulled each one out of the fixer and hung them to dry on the clothesline, he stood back and looked at each of them, quite satisfied with how they had turned out.

“Can I take a look?” Taehyung asked after hanging up his own prints on the other side of the darkroom.

Jeongguk nodded, though apprehensive over what Taehyung might think, and for more reasons than one.

He watched closely as Taehyung looked over each one thoroughly, not saying a word until he finally stepped back and exhaled a long breath.

“These…so many of these are of me.”

The bewildered expression on his face made Jeongguk feel as if he needed to explain himself.

“I…I know…I didn’t realize that so many of them were of you until now…but…I guess…I think you somehow became my muse.” He replied with a nervous chuckle.

Jeongguk stepped closer towards Taehyung, his eyes landing on the photo that Taehyung was currently looking at. The one where Taehyung had bent down to give a young fan the baseball he had just won the scrimmage with. It was a sweet moment that Jeongguk had been so glad to have captured.

“These are all from the game…” Taehyung uttered quietly as he looked over the photos again, his gaze still full of astonishment.

“But none of them are of me playing.”

Jeongguk shook his head.

“Yeah…I just…I wanted to capture you being you…the real you…not the baseball player that so many others only see you as.”

It was the truth, though he wondered if Taehyung was disappointed.

But when Taehyung turned to him, stepping closer, so close, his eyes searching Jeongguk’s with a look of hunger and need in his dark eyes, Jeongguk knew he had done something very right.

“Guk…” Taehyung murmured as he closed his eyes, his hands reaching out, sliding up Jeongguk’s neck, capturing Jeongguk’s sturdy jaw in his palms.

Jeongguk couldn’t speak even if he had wanted to as Taehyung tilted Jeongguk’s head to the side, holding it in place as he closed the distance.

When their lips finally touched, it was sweet and soft and better than Jeongguk had ever been able to imagine it would be. And as he opened his mouth to Taehyung, allowing the kiss to deepen, Jeongguk sank into the way Taehyung’s tongue licked inside, savoring the sweet taste, his hands gripping the sides of Taehyung’s torso as he kissed him back, matching each roll of his tongue and nip of his lips.

And the moan that escaped Jeongguk’s throat had been nothing but a completely uncontrollable response to how incredible Taehyung’s skilled mouth continued to take Jeongguk over an edge he hadn’t even known he’d been teetering on.

Down into the depths of desire Jeongguk fell at a rapid pace, his body suddenly pushed against a wall as Taehyung pressed his tall frame against Jeongguk’s.

Holy shit. Was this really happening? And how far would it go? Fuck, he didn’t want to think too much, he just wanted to live in each second, his heart set to burst from his chest at how sinfully good this felt.

But then, the sound of a phone ringing threatened to end what Jeongguk had hoped would never end. But Taehyung was pulling away, his lips leaving Jeongguk’s red and swollen and not yet satisfied.

“Fuck…it’s my work. I’m late.” Taehyung said with a breathless chuckle.

“So, quit.” Jeongguk replied, panting.

Taehyung’s laugh was low and sexy and didn’t help to quell the throbbing erection inside Jeongguk’s jeans.

“Don’t worry, Gukkie…we can pick back up where we left off later…if you’d like.”

Jeongguk’s heart was beating so fast, and he was still breathless, but he managed to reply.

“I have been holding on by a thread, Kim Taehyung. And you just lit it on fire.”

---

Jeongguk stared in the mirror as he lifted weights in Odaesan University’s athletic complex alongside his fellow soccer players.

They had started meeting up a few times a week in the evenings to begin their conditioning, prepping for the soccer season, and Jeongguk was grateful for the workout sessions that helped him get to know his teammates better.

And he found himself working his muscles a little harder, for a little longer, knowing that he might be naked with Taehyung in just a matter of days.

He didn’t want to get to too hopeful about anything, especially when the two hadn’t had the chance to hang out ever since their kiss in the darkroom, but Seokjin’s Halloween party would be a promising opportunity for the two friends to take things to the “with benefits” level.

Jeongguk had to close his eyes tightly to keep from getting hard in the middle of the gym. His workout shorts were too thin to not make it obvious, and the last thing he needed was the merciless teasing that would ensue from the other players. But whenever he thought about Taehyung, about their kiss, his whole body reacted.

So, he tried to think about his new job instead.

He had applied to the museum, having met with the director of education the day before.

“I think you’d be a great fit, Jeongguk. We’d be glad to have you on board here at the museum as one of our art teachers. This will also be great experience for you if you decide you’d like to pursue a career in teaching for the long-term.” His new boss, Mal-Chin, had said before giving Jeongguk the paperwork he would need to fill out.

After a tour of the museum classrooms and the art closet, which wasn’t so much a closet as it was an entire room full of any type of art material a young artist could possible want or need, Jeongguk took advantage of his free access to tour the museum galleries.

He’d spent hours walking around, looking at everything, reading the placards next to each piece. He wondered if Taehyung had ever been to the museum, and if not, would he like to go, and would he like to go with Jeongguk.

Taehyung. Thoughts always found their way back to Taehyung, and when Jeongguk couldn’t push the thoughts away, when he actually allowed himself to think them, he wondered if they were all due to the fact that Taehyung had been the only person to ever make Jeongguk inadvertently work for their attention and time.

Was it the challenge of Kim Taehyung that made him want him so badly? Or was it because Taehyung had become a friend he cherished, but was still so unbelievably attracted to?

Whatever it was, there was something about how he was feeling that he didn’t want to lose. It’s why he knew that getting too deeply involved with Taehyung had to be off the table. It was the committed relationship aspect that always seemed to kill the initial romance and passion that he would feel when everything was new.

He hated how immature it had sounded when he’d told Taehyung about why he had never fallen in love before, but it wasn’t as if Jeongguk hadn’t put in the time, hadn’t tried everything he could think of to make his feelings go further with all of his ex’s.

It just didn’t work, and rather than keep a relationship going any longer than it needed to when he knew it would never be satisfying for either party involved, he would end it and move on and try again.

Maybe the key was to not date anyone, to be like Taehyung and just keep everything at a one or two time hookup. Maybe a “friends with benefits” situation was as close as he would ever get to feeling something amazing for longer than a couple of months.

Jeongguk had never been in a situation like that before, and he didn’t know if Taehyung had either. He didn’t know the rules, but he was willing figure it all out, because he wanted to fuck Taehyung just as badly as he wanted to still hang out with him.

And there was no way to go backwards. Having kissed Taehyung had been too good to ever not get to experience again, and Jeongguk knew that unbelievable, sensual kisses weren’t going to sustain him enough for long.

 - What are you up to?

The text from Taehyung had popped up on his phone the following evening while Jeongguk was sitting on his bed in his dorm room, blaring music to drown out Jimin and Yoongi who were doing whatever it was they did when they were alone in Jimin’s room.

 - Working on my three point perspective drawing assignment. Painting homework is next…I’m so behind

It was the truth. Jeongguk had been incredibly lazy lately, caring a lot more about wandering around campus with the camera Taehyung had given him, taking pictures of whatever he thought might be interesting instead of doing his real homework.

 - You should give me a painting lesson. You start the teaching job on Monday, right? You can practice teaching on me.

Jeongguk’s heartrate spiked.

 - Jimin and Yoongi are here…

He held his breath while he waited for Taehyung to reply.

 - That’s okay with me, if it’s okay with you. I honestly only want a painting lesson, Guk

Jeongguk chuckled at the eight winking emoji’s Taehyung sent after the last text and realized that hanging out with Taehyung didn’t have to mean sex. It hadn’t been about that before, it didn’t have to be about that now. But regardless, he went ahead and brushed his teeth, put on clean underwear and sprayed on some cologne.

“You are such a goddamn liar, Kim.” Jeongguk was saying an hour later as the two sat side by side on Jeongguk’s bedroom floor, canvases in front of them and gobs of paint on a large palette between them.

They ate the spicy chicken and drank the bottle of merlot that Taehyung had brought with him, listening to music and talking while they painted. It almost felt like a real date, even though Jeongguk knew deep down that it wasn’t supposed to be.

“Hey, I can’t help that I have a natural talent at painting. Art is in my blood.” Taehyung replied, feigning innocence at how good his painting of Jeongguk’s Ironman action figure was turning out.

“How many painting classes have you actually taken?” Jeongguk asked, eyeing him curiously.

Taehyung smiled as he continued to paint Ironman’s helmet.

“A few, I guess…but only because I’m a huge proponent of trying out all sides of fine arts. I’m a little neurotic in that sense.”

Jeongguk chuckled.

“A little neurotic?”

Taehyung laughed.

“Okay, a lot neurotic. I can’t help it. But don’t tell me you don’t have the gift of being good at it all. You’ve already proven to be a really great photographer and Jimin says you slay at singing in the shower. I bet you play an instrument too.”

Jeongguk shook his head, smiling.

“What gave it away? The guitar that’s leaning against my dresser?”

Taehyung smirked.

“Do you ever write any songs?” Taehyung asked as he looked over at the guitar.

Jeongguk shrugged.

“Yeah, not often, but…when the mood strikes.”

The two were quiet for a minute, concentrating on their paintings until Taehyung spoke.

“Will you play a song for me?” He asked, giving Jeongguk that coy smile that made it almost impossible to say no.

“Tae…” Jeongguk said, wanting to say no but not sure he could, not when Taehyung was giving him that half-lidded gaze while biting his bottom lip.

“You really think you can seduce me into playing a song for you?”

Taehyung nodded, smiling as he licked his lips. He was actually very persuasive without even having to say a word, and Jeongguk had no idea why it had to make him so defenseless.

“Please, Gukkie…I promise I’ll thank you properly.” Taehyung pleaded as he took Jeongguk’s paintbrush from his hand and stuck it in the water cup.

Jeongguk let out a defeated sigh.

“Okay. Fine.”

He got up to grab the guitar while Taehyung put his own paintbrush in the water cup, and the two sat down on the edge of Jeongguk’s bed as Jeongguk quickly tuned his old acoustic guitar that his brother had given him for his birthday when he had turned 13.

He had taken a few lessons but had mostly learned from playing by ear and watching YouTube videos. It was rare for him to play for anyone other than himself, so playing for Taehyung gave him a whole other level of anxiety.

But he closed his eyes as the muscle memory in his fingers strummed the chords of a song he had written not long after he’d arrived at Odaesan.

Everything had felt so new and strange then, but so alive and fascinating. And he’d always had a feeling that he was going to build a life for himself in the seaside city that was so much like home but also nothing like home. Back home, there was certainly no one like Taehyung.

He sang quietly, letting his voice fill the small space of his room, not thinking much about anything other than the words he had written and memorized once he had nailed down the melody. The song was one of many he had written, but it had become the one he loved the most.

Jeongguk was singing the chorus again, the song almost over, when a hand was suddenly on his chest and lips were on his neck causing his eyes to flutter open with surprise.

His fingers stilled over the strings as his voice halted, but a quiet whisper from Taehyung urged him to finish.

“Keep going…”

But Taehyung’s mouth nipping, licking, sucking at Jeongguk’s neck so achingly slow caused Jeongguk to moan the remainder of the lyrics before letting his guitar clatter to the floor.

“I’m sorry, Guk…but that was fucking sexy...” Taehyung’s deep voice murmured in his ear as he gently pushed Jeongguk onto his back.

“The way you sing…it’s beautiful.”

Jeongguk smiled up at Taehyung as they gazed at each other, neither one knowing how far to take things but knowing that something had to give.

“Are you going to stare at me all night or are you going to kiss me?” Jeongguk asked, getting exasperated with how badly he wanted Taehyung’s lips on his again.

“Damn…I had no idea you could be so impatient, Jeonggukie. Why don’t you just kiss me?”

Jeongguk had barely let Taehyung finish his sentence before he had grabbed his waist and rolled them over so Jeongguk was now on top, sitting astride Taehyung’s hips and very aware of how hard Taehyung was through his cotton jogging pants.

Taehyung’s sexy chuckle was erotic as hell as Jeongguk leaned down, pausing for just a brief second to admire Taehyung’s alluring lips before claiming the older one’s mouth with his own in a sweltering, tongue tangling kiss that had them both gasping for air before capturing each other’s lips again and again, heads tilting to the sides, lingering briefly before going in for more.

The kiss broke for a few quick seconds as Taehyung tugged at Jeongguk’s shirt, pulling it over his back and shoulders until it was off and thrown down to the floor with the guitar. Jeongguk braced his arms on the bed, hovering over Taehyung, wanting to kiss him again, to touch him all over.

“Fuck…you’re so hot…” Taehyung sighed as his hands swept down Jeongguk’s chest and to the button of his jeans.

Jeongguk’s breathing grew more and more ragged as Taehyung undid his zipper, his hand sliding under the waistband of Jeongguk’s boxer-briefs, not hesitating for even a second to touch him.

“Oh…shit…” Jeongguk hissed as Taehyung’s hand palmed Jeongguk’s throbbing cock.

Jeongguk squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would somehow prevent him from coming at just the feel of Taehyung’s big, powerful hand gripping him, pumping just enough to elicit a groan from the younger of the two.

“Mmm…been curious about this.” Taehyung’s deep voice growled as he pumped Jeongguk a little faster.

Jeongguk wanted to touch him back, to drive him just as crazy as Taehyung was making him, but he could barely think let alone move as another groan escaped from his throat.

“Tae…oh…god…” Jeongguk panted as Taehyung slid down the bed, under the bridge of Jeongguk’s body so that his mouth could finish what his hand had started.

“Oh fuck…oh fuck…” Jeongguk groaned as Taehyung’s hands gripped his waist, his mouth needing no assistance as he took Jeongguk deep into his throat, his tongue flicking against the sensitive underside of the tip of Jeongguk’s rock hard cock.

Jeongguk hung his head so he could watch the way Taehyung worked him, his mint hair brushing against Jeongguk’s bedsheets, his long fingers digging into Jeongguk’s sides. It was the hottest thing Jeongguk had ever seen, though, everything Taehyung seemed to do was the hottest thing Jeongguk had ever seen.

And he grimaced at how good it felt, at how this was by far the best blow job he had ever been given, and how he wanted to return the favor, but he was barely able to hold himself up as it was, his muscles threatening to turn to mush at how weak Taehyung’s incredible mouth was making him.

Jeongguk would write a thousand more songs and sing them to Taehyung every hour on the hour if it meant he would get this kind of treatment again.

“Fuck! Tae...I’m going to come…I can’t…I…oh…”

There was no way he was going to finish that sentence as Jeongguk’s orgasm rocketed through his entire body, his release going straight into Taehyung’s mouth as he sucked every last drop out of Jeongguk’s sated cock.

Jeongguk sat up, his thighs encasing Taehyung’s torso as he tried to regain normal breathing.

Taehyung sat back, his elbows propping himself up on the bed, his lips red, swollen, and glistening from licking what was left of Jeongguk on them.

“Fucking hell, do you even know how gorgeous you are?” Jeongguk asked, not able to stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth.

Taehyung smirked, his lids heavy with lust as he gazed at a still shirtless Jeongguk.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Taehyung replied as he licked his lips again.

Jeongguk’s whole body seemed to ignite as Taehyung watched him, that smirk, that dark stare. It was fucking criminal.

“I think you need to get naked.” Jeongguk murmured as he began to pull down Taehyung’s pants, and not entirely surprised to find that Taehyung wore no underwear at all.

Jeongguk groaned at the realization that Taehyung had been commando the whole time, and he wondered if that was a regular thing. But he didn’t get around to asking when his eyes were busy with processing the huge cock just inches in front of Jeongguk’s face.

Holy shit, Taehyung was huge. And now it made sense to Jeongguk why Taehyung was always disappearing, why his phone was always blowing up, and why he had developed a reputation as being the best lay on campus.

Jeongguk had been so distracted by Taehyung’s insanely big cock that he had barely noticed that Taehyung was now completely naked, having taken off his shirt, revealing his lean, muscular chest and cut torso, the body of an athlete.

“You’re not real.” Jeongguk said with a chuckle as his eyes raked over Taehyung from head to cock.

Taehyung blushed, and it was so incredibly endearing that Jeongguk wanted to kiss him over and over again until the sun came up.

“Oh Guk…” Was Taehyung’s reply as his fingers dove into Jeongguk’s dark hair, fisting it into his hands as Jeongguk leaned down, his tongue licking up Taehyung’s cock, causing him to stiffen completely before Jeongguk did it once again.

He teased Taehyung with his tongue, lapping at him until Jeongguk finally took the head into his mouth and sucked hard, just once before releasing him, the air of the room hitting the slick head, causing Taehyung to hiss from the sudden sensation.

Taehyung bucked his hips, wanting Jeongguk’s mouth back on him, but Jeongguk liked teasing the guy who had kept him waiting so long for this. So instead, he slowly and gently kissed the inside of Taehyung’s tight thighs, taking his time as he got closer to the base of Taehyung’s cock.

“Fuck…Jeongguk…please…” The sounds of Taehyung begging completely annihilated Jeongguk, and he couldn’t help but want to reward the ballplayer for trying so hard to be patient.

So Jeongguk wrapped his mouth around Taehyung to the hilt, working the slick shaft in long, languid strokes before speeding up, changing the pace based on Taehyung’s groans, and at the way he undulated his hips as Jeongguk ran his hands over Taehyung’s abdomen before gripping his waist.

Jeongguk held Taehyung gently, but with enough force to keep Taehyung from moving as he sucked him off harder and faster until Taehyung was a writhing, groaning mess ready to totally fall apart as his breathing got heavier and heavier.

“Guk…oh fuck…yes…”

Jeongguk worked him even faster, the head of Taehyung’s cock getting larger in his mouth with each pull of Jeongguk’s lips.

Taehyung was about to come, so Jeongguk threw his ace and moaned around Taehyung’s cock, the vibrations sending a climatic shockwave through Taehyung’s entire body as he spilled his release into Jeongguk’s open mouth.

“Mmm…yeah…”Jeongguk purred as he swallowed, licking his lips before crawling back up the bed so he could kiss Taehyung.

Their mouths found each other’s, the lip-lock slick and salty but absolutely perfect.

“Fuck…that was so worth pretending to not know how to paint.” Taehyung whispered against Jeongguk’s lips.

Jeongguk chuckled as he peppered kisses along Taehyung’s jawline and up to his ear, nipping at the soft earlobe, his teeth hitting against the metal ring Taehyung always wore in each lobe.

“I should have known it was all a ruse. I’m so gullible.” Jeongguk replied softly in Taehyung’s ear.

Taehyung chuckled.

“No you’re not. You knew exactly what was going to happen or you wouldn’t have said anything about Jimin and Yoongi.”

Jeongguk’s hand suddenly flew to his mouth.

“Oh shit…do you think they heard us?”

Taehyung pressed his lips to Jeongguk’s in a long, sweet kiss before responding.

“Maybe, but I don’t care.”

Jeongguk smiled against Taehyung’s soft, perfect lips. God, he could lay like this in his bed with Taehyung forever if he was given the option.

“Me either.”

Jeongguk had been just about to ask Taehyung if he wanted to stay the night, to see where things could go once their bodies were ready again, but before he could say anything, Taehyung’s phone buzzed with a text.

“Shit…I gotta go, Gukkie. I’m sorry.” Taehyung said without even grabbing his phone from the floor to see who it was, which meant that he knew exactly who it was.

Jeongguk’s heart thudded to a stop as he tried hard not to frown while repeating in his head his mantra about just being friends with benefits and nothing more.

So maybe Taehyung had another hookup to get to, it wasn’t a big deal. There was no exclusivity going on between them.

“But I’ll see you at Seokjin’s party on Saturday.” Taehyung was saying as he pulled on his pants, allowing Jeongguk the opportunity to see Taehyung’s ass in all its perfect glory.

“Yeah…I’ll be there.” Jeongguk managed to mutter as he picked up his shirt from the floor and pulled it back on.

The living room of the apartment was dark and empty, Jimin’s bedroom door still closed as Jeongguk walked Taehyung to the front door to say goodbye.

“I had a really good time. You were…” Taehyung paused and bit his lip, his cheeks suddenly pink.

“Fuck, Guk, you were just as good as I thought you’d be. More so, even.”

Jeongguk could feel the warmth flood his cheeks at the compliment. It was exactly what he’d needed to hear to repair his wounded ego at Taehyung’s quick exit.

“I hope we can do it again soon.” Jeongguk replied, cocking his head to the side before leaning in for one last kiss.

Taehyung kissed him back, his hand cupping Jeongguk’s cheek before pulling away, his eyes sparkling.

“You can count on that, Jeon Jeongguk. Because I’m not done with you yet.”

To be continued…

Chapter Text

“I want to know everything.” Jimin’s voice rang out as he came out of his bedroom the next morning, a sleepy looking Yoongi trailing behind him.

Jeongguk smirked as he flipped over the eggs in the frying pan before checking on the radish kimchi boiling on the stove.

“What are you talking about?” He asked, feigning innocence as his two friends took a seat at the counter.

“Oh, I know you know what I’m talking about.” Jimin replied, squinting at Jeongguk as he pointed his finger at the youngest of their group.

Jeongguk chuckled as he plated the breakfast and placed a steaming dish in front of each of them.

“Taehyung was here last night, and I only know because I heard his name being moaned over and over again. And then I heard your name being moaned over and over again, by a very familiar deep voice.”

Jeongguk grinned from ear to ear as his face got warm, and not from the breakfast he had been cooking.

The sound of Taehyung saying Jeongguk’s name was still stuck in his mind. Best sound ever.

“I don’t think it’s appropriate to kiss and tell.” Jeongguk said in a sing-song voice that caused Jimin to scowl.

“You better start talking or we’re no longer friends.” Jimin said teasingly as Yoongi barely paid any attention while shoveling eggs into his mouth.

“Okay, okay. He just came over, and, ya know, we just…had some fun…we didn’t do, like, everything, but we definitely got to know each other…better.”

Jimin practically squealed with excitement at Jeongguk’s confession.

“Yes! Finally! I’m totally winning the pool money.”

Jeongguk gave his roommate a mock frown.

“I told you no more bets, Jiminie.”

Jimin shrugged.

“Oh come on, this has been the most titillating thing to happen to our group in a really long time. Let us have this.”

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, but smiled before taking a bite of his eggs.

“I bet it was good. Wasn’t it?” Jimin said as he eyed his roommate.

Jeongguk sighed as he gave Jimin an exasperated look.

“What? You knew I was going to ask! I just want some juicy details, Guk.”

But Jeongguk only shook his head as he smiled at his plate.

“Oh, man! Look at his face, Yoongi. It was definitely good.”

Yoongi chuckled.

“Leave him alone, Jimin. Besides, I can probably get Tae to tell me the whole story.”

Jeongguk dramatically dropped his chopsticks onto his plate and stared at Yoongi with mock hurt on his face before swallowing his bite of kimchi.

“I’m kidding, Guk! I’m not going to ask him.” Yoongi said with a teasing grin.

“Because I’m pretty sure Tae won’t tell us anything either.”

Jeongguk smiled, satisfied. As much as he wanted to divulge every little detail, to comb over every minute of his night with Taehyung and get their honest opinions about all of it, he knew it was better to keep it between himself and Taehyung. Besides, it had been a really good night, one that Jeongguk didn’t want tainted with over-analyzations.

It was bad enough that he couldn’t stop thinking about who had texted Taehyung right before he’d left so quickly.

He tried to shake it from his mind, to only think about how Taehyung’s hands had felt on his body, how his mouth felt on his skin, and damn it if he wasn’t already craving a round two.

“It’s not like I ask you two what you were doing last night.” Jeongguk said as he collected their empty plates and stuck them in the sink.

Jimin and Yoongi looked at each other, smiling smugly before bursting into laughter.

“Honestly, we were just listening to the show on the other side of our very thin walls.” Jimin replied with an impish grin.

Jeongguk tried not to laugh as he threw one of the dishtowels at Jimin, but he was in too good of a mood to be upset with the teasing.

And as he went back to his room to finish up his painting, leaving the breakfast dishes for Jimin, he couldn’t stop from being distracted at what he’d been doing just a handful of hours earlier.

He picked up his guitar from where it lay still on the floor by his bed, having no idea where the pick had gone since he didn’t even remember tossing it while Taehyung nipped his neck, saying things in Jeongguk’s ear that had made his pulse and heart both race in unison, making him dizzy with a cavernous yearning.

It was almost surreal. After so long of wondering what it would be like to be with Taehyung, it had finally happened and he had to remind himself that it had been real.

Jeongguk smiled to himself as he took Taehyung’s Ironman painting, which really was quite good, and sat it on his dresser. He would keep it until Taehyung wanted it back, but he hoped he wouldn’t, because having the painting in his possession was a reminder of an amazing night.

But Jeongguk still needed to finish his own painting before class, so he sat down on the floor and got to work, though finding himself constantly distracted to the point where he decided to take a shower. He let the hot water roll down his back as he scrubbed shampoo into his hair, trying to ignore the erection he had gotten as he thought about Taehyung’s naked body underneath him.

The image was burned into his brain, and he wondered what Taehyung was doing at that moment, if he was thinking about Jeongguk as much as Jeongguk was thinking about him.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and used his sudsy hand to palm his hardened length, panting quietly as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“Oh, Tae…” He whispered, the sound of Taehyung’s name making him come quicker and harder than he ever had before when he’d pleasured himself alone.

Jeongguk shuddered from his intense release as he braced himself against his shower wall, steadying his breathing before shutting off the faucet and grabbing his towel. Just as he was exiting the bathroom, he heard the chime of an incoming text on his phone and immediately picked it up to see who it was.

 - I had fun last night. See you at Seokjin’s

Taehyung. A grin spread across Jeongguk’s face as he read the text again.

Taehyung had thought about Jeongguk enough to text him, and it had made Jeongguk’s whole damn day.

Jeongguk got dressed and grabbed his painting, needing to get to his afternoon painting class before he ended up being late.

He wasn’t quite finished, but he didn’t care. The time he’d spent with Taehyung had been worth having a few points knocked off his grade.

He knew he couldn’t make it a regular thing, though, because nothing was worth getting kicked out of school because of bad grades. Not even unbelievably good blowjobs from the king of the school, though Jeongguk was sure he could find a way to even rationalize that, if he really thought about it.

Jeongguk had run across campus, turning the corner of the fine arts complex and entering the main hall when he almost ran smack into Migyung.

“Jeongguk! Hey!” Migyung said, his whole face brightening at the unexpected run-in.

Migyung looked to be on his way out, and Jeongguk was in a hurry, but he didn’t want to be rude, especially since he had avoided Migyung’s text the day after they’d gone out.

“I…uh…hey…Migyung. What’s up?” Jeongguk said as he checked his watch

“Just getting out of art history. Do you have class?” Migyung asked.

Jeongguk nodded.

“Yeah, uh, I have intro painting now.”

Migyung’s face fell.

“Oh…well, I guess that’s obvious by the painting under your arm.”

Jeongguk looked down at the almost finished piece he needed to turn in in less than two minutes.

“Yeah, it’s due today…so…”

Migyung nodded, understanding that Jeongguk needed to go.

“Of course, yes…well, you know, if you want to get together later…just grab some coffee or something…call me…or just text me. Are you going to Seokjin’s party tomorrow night?”

Jeongguk was completely caught off guard. He didn’t even know that Migyung knew Seokjin, much less ever been to one of his parties.

“Uh…yeah…are you?” Jeongguk asked, completely confused.

Migyung nodded.

“Yeah, I think so. Jimin invited me. He and I are in dance theory together.”

Jeongguk nodded slowly. He vaguely remembered Jimin mentioning Migyung having been transferred into one of his classes, but he hadn’t known that Jimin had invited Migyung to Seokjin’s party.

“I’m sorry! When I invited Migyung it was after you had made plans to go out with him. I thought it would be a nice gesture to include him if you two were going to start dating.” Jimin explained the next evening as they got ready for the Halloween party.

“Yeah, but then shouldn’t I be the one to invite him?” Jeongguk retorted as he tied a red bandana around his forehead.

“I didn’t think you would, though, so I took the initiative. I can’t help it, Gukkie, I love making love happen.”

Jeongguk scoffed, trying to not chuckle at Jimin who was currently pulling on a full chicken costume complete with a plastic beak.

“I don’t fall in love, Jimin. How many times have I told you that?”

But Jimin shook his head.

“Too many times. You’re like a fucking broken record. ‘I don’t fall in love. I’ll never fall in love. Blah, blah, blah.’ Well, I don’t believe that. Especially when I see the look you get on your face whenever—“

Jeongguk quickly held up his hand, stopping Jimin mid-sentence.

“Don’t even go there.”

He didn’t even have to hear the rest of what Jimin was going to say to know that it was going to be something about Taehyung.

Jimin chuckled.

“Look, I’ll do my best to entertain Migyung to keep him out of your hair, or bore him to death so he’ll leave. All you gotta do is keep a low profile. And you definitely will with that boring ass costume.”

Jeongguk looked down at what he had picked out for the party.

“What’s wrong with this?” He asked as he looked up at the critical expression on Jimin’s face.

Jimin sighed heavily.

“Jeans, Converse, and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt? What are you trying to be? A 10-year-old?” Jimin asked with disdain in his voice.

Jeongguk chuckled.

“Hey, don’t forget the red bandana and the Sai! I’m Raphael, obviously.” Jeongguk said as he held up the plastic weapon and pointed at his bandana.

But Jimin rolled his eyes.

“You’re lucky you’re cute and can get away with your lack of festive effort.”

Once they had hitched a ride with Yoongi, who had dressed up like a 1940’s mobster, and arrived at the party, Jeongguk couldn’t help but scan the crowd constantly, and not just because he was wondering if Taehyung had shown up yet, but so he could also avoid Migyung. Even still, it was hard to know who was who with so many partygoers wearing masks, costume makeup, and various wigs and hats.

Jeongguk felt terrible for wanting to be elusive to his fellow art student, but he hadn’t given much thought to their date after it had taken place. He had been sure that Migyung would have picked up on the lack of real chemistry between the two of them, but apparently he hadn’t by the interest he still seemed to have in Jeongguk.

Jeongguk wondered if he should just give the guy another shot. He wasn’t dating anyone else, after all, and he didn’t know if it was fair to write off the possibility after just one casual dinner. But dating Migyung wouldn’t be right if Jeongguk was also intent on still messing around with Taehyung, and Jeongguk didn’t have it in him to give up what had just begun with the guy his body and mind couldn’t shake.

No, dating Migyung wasn’t going to work, not when Jeongguk could hardly convince himself to date Migyung in the first place.

Jeongguk was thinking too much, and realized that he needed to loosen up. So he gathered in the kitchen with his friends and did a couple Seokjin Shots before grabbing a beer.

It was when he was walking through the living room on his way to the hallway bathroom that he noticed Migyung, dressed up as Salvador Dali, out on the patio talking animatedly to Jimin and Yoongi.

Jeongguk ducked into the hallway, noticing the line for the bathroom before heading back to Seokjin’s bedroom where he was allowed to use the master bathroom.

It wasn’t until he was walking back into the hall, wondering where Taehyung might be and wondering where he could hang out in the house without being seen by Migyung that he felt someone coming up behind him.

“Hands up against the wall, Jeon.”

Jeongguk’s heart leapt at the sound of Taehyung’s deep, sensual voice.

He smirked to himself as he did what he’d been told.

“Bet I can guess what your costume is.” Jeongguk replied as he started to turn his head.

“Face forward, legs apart. I think I’m going to have to pat you down.” Taehyung growled in Jeongguk’s ear, making him immediately hard.

“You know, make sure you’re not carrying any dangerous weapons. This cheap plastic Sai doesn’t count.”

It was all Jeongguk could do to not moan out loud as Taehyung’s hands moved from Jeongguk’s shoulders, to his waist, and around to the front of his jeans.

Jeongguk bit his lip, wincing as Taehyung’s hand palmed the growing bulge that Jeongguk had no way of hiding when his hands were still up against the hallway wall.

”Hm, this feels like a weapon I might need to confiscate later.” Taehyung said so seductively that Jeongguk strained against his tight jeans, so hard it was almost painful.

“You’re not going to tell me that I’m under arrest for being too sexy, or something cheesy like that, are you?” Jeongguk asked as he looked down at the floor while Taehyung felt along the insides of his thighs.

Taehyung’s low chuckle was the ultimate turn-on as he stood back up, the front of his body brushing against Jeongguk as Taehyung clutched his waist.

“No, but I’m going to have to cite you for not wearing a better costume.” Taehyung replied as he stepped away, laughing.

Jeongguk lowered his arms and turned around, only to find Taehyung dressed up as Harry Potter, complete with the glasses and the lightning bolt scar drawn on with brown eyeliner. It was the sexiest looking Harry Potter Jeongguk had ever seen. But that was a given.

“You asshole! You’re not even a cop!” Jeongguk yelped with a mock scowl. 

“That was my trick, Gukkie. Would you like a treat now?” Taehyung asked with a seductive grin.

Jeongguk’s cock was full on rock solid by now, and he had no doubt about the kind of treat Taehyung was referring to.

“I don’t know, Tae…I mean, I’m not sure I trust a treat from a mint-haired Harry Potter.” Jeongguk said with a shake of his head as he unabashedly looked Taehyung over from head to toe.

Taehyung’s eyes widened with surprise.

“What? You never heard of a spell going awry? Maybe my version of Harry was that he’d tried to give himself a new look but failed miserably.”

Jeongguk shook his head.

“No, he didn’t fail. I like mint hair.” Jeongguk said shyly as he stepped closer to Taehyung, wanting more than anything to kiss him in the dark hallway, forgetting about the noisy party going on around them.

“Let’s get out of here.” Taehyung said, a heated look on his face as he stared at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk nodded and followed behind Taehyung back into the living room, his heart battering around in his chest at the thought of what lay in store for the rest of his night alone with Taehyung.

But before they could make their escape, Jeongguk saw Migyung heading into the house towards the hall bathroom.

“Oh shit.” Jeongguk muttered, causing Taehyung to turn around.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he followed Jeongguk’s gaze.

“Ah, Lee Migyung. I thought you liked him.”

Jeongguk sighed.

“I…I do, but…”

Before he could say anything else, Taehyung quickly pulled Jeongguk to him, his hands cupping Jeongguk’s face, forcing him to look into Taehyung’s dark, mesmerizing eyes, making Jeongguk’s pulse race, his knees weaken, bracing himself by grabbing onto Taehyung’s biceps.

“I can get rid of that problem for you.” Taehyung said, his voice thick with lust as he slanted his mouth against Jeongguk’s.

Jeongguk sighed as he opened his mouth to allow Taehyung deeper access, their tongues sliding against each other’s in heated, desperate strokes before retreating briefly so Jeongguk could press his lips against Taehyung’s, Taehyung kissing him back, nipping Jeongguk’s bottom lip before plunging his tongue into his mouth again.

There was no way to get enough as Jeongguk kissed Taehyung eagerly, hungrily, as if his life depended on having Taehyung’s lips against his own and he would cease to exist if they ever stopped. He didn’t care who was watching, he didn’t care what anyone thought, because the only thing that mattered in that moment was getting his fill, though there was a disquiet just under the surface imparting to Jeongguk that he would never be completely satisfied, that there was no way to ever get enough of Kim Taehyung.

Jeongguk had lost all sense of time when Taehyung finally pulled away just enough so he could whisper.

“He’s gone.”

For a few brief seconds, Jeongguk was so lost in gazing at Taehyung’s gorgeous mouth that he had no idea who Taehyung was even talking about.

“Migyung. He saw me kissing you and he walked past us.” Taehyung said, noticing the confused look on Jeongguk’s face.

Jeongguk smiled sheepishly.

“Oh…did he look upset?”

Taehyung shook his head.

“No, just a little perplexed. But trust me, he won’t blame you for being with me.” Taehyung said as he took Jeongguk by the hand and led him out of Seokjin’s house and to his waiting truck.

“And why is that?” Jeongguk asked, smirking but unable to take his eyes off of the way Taehyung’s large hand gripped his own.

Taehyung shrugged.

“I can’t really answer that without sounding like a conceited asshole.”

Jeongguk laughed.

“Hey, I don’t blame you for being proud of your prowess.”

Taehyung smiled reticently, shaking his head.

“I honestly didn’t set out to be this…like…player, or whatever. I just…I think I just felt kind of empty after Hae-Won.”

He paused briefly before continuing.

“Hae-Won…she’s…she was a good girlfriend a lot of the time, but there were things that just didn’t vibe well between us. I mean, she’s a girl who knows what she wants…and sometimes…I just didn’t have the things she wanted. So…after we broke up, I felt as if I had to do something to help rebuild myself, though I realize how unconstructive I’ve been with that.”

He grimaced as he drove down the street, looking straight ahead as if he needed to think about how he wanted to explain himself.

“So, basically, she kind of…broke you down? Made you feel like you weren’t always worthy of her?” Jeongguk asked gently, remembering his conversation with Jimin in regards to Taehyung and his ex.

Taehyung nodded.

“Yeah…that’s a good way to put it. And I guess, because of that, I thought the way to feel better was to just…fuck around a lot.” He replied with a shrug.

Jeongguk smiled thoughtfully.

“Has it helped?” He asked, wondering if Taehyung’s confident nature had always been part of who he was or if it had developed from all of his many random hookups.

But Taehyung shook his head.

“No. Well…not until recently. This hot art student asked me out one night at Seokjin’s…and now he’s become a really close friend…and that’s helped me more than anything.”

Jeongguk’s heart swelled. It was obvious that Taehyung was talking about him, especially when he looked over at Jeongguk and gave him the most tender of smiles, biting his lip shyly before dragging his eyes back to the road ahead.

“He sounds like a really sexy guy.” Jeongguk said, trying not to blush while badly wanting to know what he’d done, exactly, to help Taehyung.

Taehyung chuckled.

“Oh, he is.”

Jeongguk’s heart was pounding and his cheeks were on fire and all he wanted to do was show Taehyung just how much he appreciated his sweet words, his friendship, his help, and everything else.

But once they were out of Taehyung’s truck and walking into his apartment, the only thought Jeongguk had on his mind was getting his clothes off as quickly as he could.

“Do you want anything to drink? I have water, beer, soda.” Taehyung said as he threw his keys on the kitchen counter and took off his costume robe.

Jeongguk shook his head no.

“Come here.” He commanded gruffly, surprised at how his voice sounded to his own ears.

Taehyung’s lips curled into his signature smirk as he took off the fake glasses and his shoes while Jeongguk removed his Ninja Turtles shirt, causing Taehyung to suck in a breath at the sight.

“That’s a good look for you, Gukkie. You should wear nothing but a bandana and jeans all the time.”

Jeongguk chuckled as he crooked his finger at Taehyung.

“Let’s go. You’ve kept me waiting long enough.”

Taehyung obeyed as he followed behind Jeongguk to his bedroom, the sound of clothing hitting the floor as they got closer.

“I’ve wanted you since the first moment I met you.” Jeongguk murmured between urgent kisses as Taehyung helped to remove Jeongguk’s jeans from his body.

He didn’t care how exposed the confession had made him. He wanted Taehyung to know how he felt. Something about the dark of the room, the heat between their bodies as it started to storm outside had stripped Jeongguk bare, and not just physically but emotionally.

“Me too.” Taehyung replied as he pulled Jeongguk over to the bed.

Jeongguk’s entire body practically melted.

“You did?”

Taehyung nodded before covering Jeongguk’s body with his own, his mouth claiming Jeongguk’s like a punctuation to his admission.

Jeongguk had so many questions, but he had lost his ability to speak as Taehyung’s mouth wasted no time peppering kisses down Jeongguk’s chest and to his abdomen, getting closer and closer to the place where Jeongguk wanted Taehyung’s mouth the most.

And then Taehyung’s mouth was full of Jeongguk’s cock as Jeongguk gripped the sheets, whimpering at how good it felt and how badly he already wanted to come, unable to take his eyes off of that mint hair, unable to believe that the gorgeous, talented, bold and humble Kim Taehyung was sucking him off.

“Come back.” Jeongguk whined quietly, desperate to have Taehyung’s velvet lips on his again.

Taehyung smiled as he kissed his way back up to Jeongguk’s mouth, causing soft moans to escape from his lips between breaths, Jeongguk’s hand moving to the nape of Taehyung’s neck, pulling him even closer, hungry for more.

Taehyung kept a hand on Jeongguk’s jaw while the other disappeared between their bodies, spreading Jeongguk’s thighs apart before reaching down to ready Jeongguk for what would come next.

Jeongguk mewed softly as Taehyung’s fingers worked him, stretching him, making his pulse tick rapidly knowing what was in store.

“Fuck me, Tae.” Jeongguk panted once Taehyung had lifted his mouth, staying close but searching Jeongguk’s face for confirmation that he really wanted this.

Taehyung groaned as his head collapsed onto Jeongguk’s shoulder, his teeth biting gently into Jeongguk’s skin as he eased himself inside, sheathing himself to the hilt.

Jeongguk winced at the intrusion, the initial shock of Taehyung’s massive cock filling him as he clutched Taehyung’s sides, bracing himself.

“You okay?”

Taehyung’s voice was deep, raspy with sex as he looked into Jeongguk’s eyes.

Was he okay? Hell fucking yes he was okay. So much more than okay.

“Yes…keep going…” He said with a nod as he gazed back at Taehyung.

Taehyung closed his eyes, as if he was saying a silent prayer of thanks before he leaned back and began to rock his hips, slowly at first, his steady pace increasing as Jeongguk moaned with pleasure at the unbelievable, unforgiving sensations. Finally, fucking finally.

And then, Taehyung’s hand was suddenly clasped around Jeongguk’s cock, pumping him right along with the rhythm of his hips.

“Oh fuck…” Jeongguk yelped, unable to hold back from wanting to come as the slap of Taehyung’s body against Jeongguk’s ass became louder than the thunder rumbling outside of his bedroom.

Jeongguk felt helpless against the skillful way Taehyung worked him. Unable to hold back, he finally gave in and let himself explode, his release running down the sides of Taehyung’s hand like the scorching, ooze of lava from a volcano.

His body shuddered as Taehyung lifted his hand to his mouth, licking his fingers as he smirked at Jeongguk. Confirmation that Taehyung was the devil himself.

“You don’t play fair.” Jeongguk’s raspy voice croaked as his eyes stayed locked on Taehyung.

Taehyung took that as his cue to pump his hips faster, harder, both of them crying out with pleasure as Taehyung shoved his body into Jeongguk with one last, hard thrust before yelping from his own shattering orgasm.

He fell onto the bed next to Jeongguk, panting, a sheen of sweat on his face, neck and chest as flashes of lightning lit up the room.

Jeongguk was sure he had never seen a more beautiful sight in his entire life as he rolled to his side so he could look at Taehyung closer, the older one’s chest rising and collapsing as he tried to regain his normal breathing.

“I should paint you just like this.” Jeongguk said with a dreamy sigh.

Taehyung chuckled breathlessly.

“What would you name it?” He asked as he turned his head to look at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk thought for a minute.

“Something with the word “god” in it, probably.”

Taehyung laughed as he turned onto his side so they were now face-to-face.

“Always boosting my ego, Jeon. You’re good at that, amongst many other things.”

Jeongguk sighed, blissed out and relaxed to the point of feeling completely unreserved about saying his thoughts aloud.

“You shouldn’t need me to boost your ego, Tae. I know your ex fucked with your head, but I will do whatever I can to undo that damage.”

Jeongguk reached out and took Taehyung’s chin in his hand, wanting Taehyung to understand how serious he was.

“You are too important to me to allow you to think you’re anything less than incredible.” He said firmly.

Taehyung smiled dreamily as he moved closer to Jeongguk until they were practically nose-to-nose, kissing him slow and soft, his arm wrapping around Jeongguk’s waist, bringing his body against his own.

Jeongguk’s hand palmed Taehyung’s cheek, their lips never ceasing as they both became erect in unison, their bodies clearly ready for more of each other.

“Oh…Gukkie…” Taehyung groaned against Jeongguk’s mouth as Jeongguk’s hand moved from Taehyung’s cheek to his cock, smiling at how Taehyung got even harder as Jeongguk touched him, his hand sliding over the thick heat of his sex.

Jeongguk sat up on the bed as he grabbed Taehyung’s hips, pulling him up so he was on his hands and knees.

Jeongguk ran a hand down the sinewy muscles of Taehyung’s back, to his ass, his fingers dancing across the soft, honey skin before pushing into the place he was ready to fill with his throbbing erection that bobbed with anticipation.

“Mmm…yes…” Taehyung sighed as he looked back at Jeongguk, biting his lip, making Jeongguk groan from how sinfully hot and ready Taehyung was to be fucked.

With one forceful grunt, Jeongguk pushed himself inside, the feeling of his cock encased in Taehyung’s gorgeous ass was enough to make him want to come right then, but he squeezed his eyes shut, rolling his hips slowly, every nerve in his body igniting from the pure decadence of each thrust.

Taehyung’s low, sultry moans was a sound Jeongguk never wanted to forget as he filed it away into his brain, ready to retrieve it next time he was alone in his bed or his shower. How anyone could be so fucking perfect, so hot and sweet and sexy, was something Jeongguk knew he’d never find an answer to but wondered just the same.

“Harder, Guk…fuck me harder…” Taehyung grunted as he pushed his bottom against Jeongguk, causing the younger to see stars behind his closed lids at the feeling of Taehyung forgoing any kind of gentleness. He obviously liked it rougher, and Jeongguk was beyond thrilled at the discovery.

So harder he went, pumping mercilessly as the headboard slammed against the wall. No break for recovery, no pauses, just slam after slam of Jeongguk’s hips against Taehyung’s ass. Both of them growling, crying out from the brutally erotic onslaught.

Suddenly, Jeongguk knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold back the explosion simmering inside his body. This was too good, so good, and Jeongguk didn’t have enough stamina to fight just how good.

“I’m going to fucking come!” He yelped as he reached around Taehyung’s body and grabbed Taehyung’s heavy cock in his hand, wanting the older one to come right along with him.

Taehyung whimpered at the unexpected contact, his hips undulating uncontrollably from wanting to pump himself in Jeongguk’s strong grip.

Jeongguk drove himself into Taehyung one last time, his whole weight practically lifting Taehyung off of the bed before his body stilled as the orgasm rocketed through him.

The sound of Jeongguk’s breathless moans had Taehyung coming only seconds after, his release hot and thick as it covered Jeongguk’s hand.

Taehyung’s body collapsed onto the bed, Jeongguk not far behind as his body landed on top of Taehyung before rolling himself off so he was now flat on his back, staring at the ceiling above.

“Fucking hell…” Taehyung mumbled, his face buried in his pillow.

Jeongguk sighed, so out of breath he couldn’t even speak.

The two lay in silence for a while, their bodies completely depleted of energy, but still buzzing with a contentment that couldn’t be matched by anything else.

But it wasn’t long before they were both ready for more.

Hours more of relentless sex passed by, an unyielding release of the sexual tension that had built-up between the two for the past couple of months. They were nothing but a push and pull of bodies clashing together, mouths finding each other over and over again before Jeongguk and Taehyung were so spent, so satiated, that they had no choice but to climb under the sheets and let the sound of the rain on the roof lull them to sleep.

But just before dawn, Jeongguk’s eyes opened to find Taehyung fast asleep next to him, looking so peaceful, so gorgeous that Jeongguk couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to touch Taehyung’s smooth, soft cheek.

It took a second for Jeongguk’s brain to realize what he was doing, the intimate touch a foreign gesture that he didn’t remember ever having been inclined to do before with anyone else he had ever been with.

He quickly drew his hand back, a panic in his chest rising as he sat up, his head suddenly spinning with all kinds of thoughts he couldn’t make sense of, that he wasn’t sure he wanted to make sense of.

Jeongguk grabbed his cell phone out of his crumpled jeans on Taehyung’s floor.

 - Can you pick me up at Tae’s?

He quickly typed to Joon-Yi, hoping to god she wasn’t with Hoseok so he wouldn’t have to explain to both of them why he was texting so early in the morning.

 - You’re not serious, are you?

Came Joon-Yi’s reply. Taehyung sighed with relief. She was awake.

 - As a heart attack. Please? I’ll owe you BIG

He quickly pulled on his jeans after Joon-Yi had agreed to come get him, and started to leave the bedroom, but not before taking a long look at Taehyung, still sleeping soundly, looking like an angel who had somehow been cast down and ordered to live a regular life on earth, though never quite belonging to the mortal world.

“You need to get your own car.” Joon-Yi said with a scowl as she pulled up outside Taehyung’s apartment complex to collect Jeongguk.

“Thank you, Joony. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

Joon-Yi shook her head.

“No, after Seokjin’s party, I went home to work on my project for Design II. You know I can’t rest until I finish a project.”

Jeongguk nodded, chuckling, glad for the distraction from the thoughts that were now plaguing his mind.

“But what gives, Gukkie? What’s gotten you so spooked?”

Jeongguk sighed as he looked out the window, unable to talk about what was happening to him, even to Joon-Yi.

“I…I just…I like to sleep in my own bed.” He replied weakly.

Joon-Yi nodded but he knew she didn’t believe him for one second.

“We saw you and Tae leaving the party together…and we all agreed that you two look really good together.”

Jeongguk shook his head.

“So? What if we do? I’ve told you how things always turn out for me, and Taehyung doesn’t want anything more.”

Joon-Yi pursed her lips, as she cocked her head to the side.

“But, just think about it. What if it’s different this time for you? And what if Taehyung can’t control what he thinks he wants? Wouldn’t it be worth finding out?”

Jeongguk didn’t say anything. He didn’t have any answers. All he knew was that he was feeling things he hadn’t felt before, but he didn’t know what any of it meant. Add to the fact that he had no idea what Taehyung felt. As far as he was concerned, Taehyung was only interested in keeping shit casual and nothing else.

“Look, Guk, all I’m saying is to keep your heart and mind open, or you might just miss out on the one thing you’ve been wanting more than anything else.”

---

 - You wasted perfectly good morning wood, Gukkie

 - You could have stayed

 - I would have made you breakfast

Jeongguk woke up to the sound of his phone chiming with texts from Taehyung.

He smiled as he read them while feeling guilty and regretful that he wasn’t still at Taehyung’s apartment, in Taehyung’s bed as rain continued to fall outside.

 - Gotta fuck me a few more times before I stay for breakfast, handsome

Jeongguk replied, almost wondering if it was too late to ask Taehyung to meet him somewhere for coffee and some butter scones.

 - Cute, but that also sounds like an invitation

Taehyung’s response made Jeongguk’s heart skip. Of course he wanted a repeat of last night. He wanted it so desperately that he was already hard from just thinking about it.

 - It was

Jeongguk texted back, his heart pounding hard in his chest.

The night before had been unforgettable.

Prior to leaving Seokjin’s party, Jeongguk had only had a small taste of what Taehyung was capable of when it came to sex. It was an incredible precursor to a level of passion and pleasure that Jeongguk had never even realized had existed until he had experienced it with Taehyung.

And on top of all that, there was something stirring inside Jeongguk, something that couldn’t be ignored nor pushed aside.

He could no longer deny that it wasn’t just friendship, admiration, and lust that he felt for Taehyung. It was more. The feelings he had were real and they were deep.

He dared not admit it was love. He wasn’t even sure if he knew what love was or what it might feel like. All he knew was that what he’d been feeling for Taehyung all along had been amplified by their night together, by the way Taehyung hadn’t held back, but had made Jeongguk feel good and safe and happy.

Jeongguk wondered how long this feeling would last before it faded, like his feelings always seemed to do. He imagined that once he no longer felt what he felt for Tae, the two could just go back to a regular friendship, though Jeongguk wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to give up the sex.

Taehyung was addictive as fuck, and that’s where things might get complicated.

---

Jeongguk’s bus stopped just a couple of blocks away from the museum, with SookSoo Portrait Studio right on the way.

He carried a large pizza with him, having picked it up at the pizza place right across the street from his dorm. A very convenient location for an all-night eatery that made about 90% of its revenue from university students.

The door to SookSoo chimed as he entered, but there wasn’t a soul around, and for a second he wondered if the place was actually supposed to be closed.

Jeongguk looked around the small studio space. It was fairly tidy, with one side of the room lined with rows and rows of shelves full of red and white striped boxes with “SookSoo Photo Booth Prop Rentals” printed in black, block letters on the side of each box. While the other side of the room was lined with easels holding gaudily, gold framed portraits of everything from family photos, to wedding portraits to high school class photos. On the walls were more of the same, with signs claiming that SookSoo would offer 50% discounts to any first time customer.

The backside of the studio, just behind the front desk, hung a thick, navy blue velvet curtain blocking from view the portrait studios in the back. And it was there that a tall, mint-hair Taehyung peeked out to see who had actually bothered to come by the small shop that never saw much business ever since cell phones came with cameras that were so good that no one felt the need for professional portrait studio photography anymore.

“Ah, Jeonggukie, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Taehyung asked as he came out from behind the curtain completely, his smile making Jeongguk’s heart pound hard in his chest.

“I…uh…I was just on my way to the museum, but thought I’d bring you some dinner. You said you had to work late, so…”

Taehyung’s eyebrows lifted with surprise.

“Yeah, I’m filling in for my boss…he actually got a gig at some gallery opening tonight…but, you didn’t have to go through the trouble of bringing me food, Guk.”

Jeongguk shrugged, not wanting the gesture to seem like a big deal, but he’d felt bad about leaving Taehyung’s apartment without saying anything, even though Taehyung hadn’t seemed upset about it, Jeongguk felt he’d owed him something nonetheless.

“It’s not as hot as it was, but even cold pizza is still good.” Jeongguk said with a grin as he set the pizza box down on the counter, trying to not stare at Taehyung now that he had admitted to himself that he was crushing hard on the guy.

“No worries. We have a microwave in the back office.” He replied as he opened the box and inhaled the contents.

“Ahh, best pizza at Odaesan. Thank you so much, Jeongguk. You just made my night.”

Jeongguk immediately thought of all the other ways that he’d like to make Taehyung’s night. How he’d like to drag his hands though Taehyung’s soft, mint locks, how he’d like to kiss those lips until they were flushed ruby red, how he wanted to feel the muscles of Taehyung’s back under his fingertips as they fucked each other’s brains out. But Jeongguk had a job to get to and he needed to leave soon before he ended up late on his first day.

“Are you nervous about the class?” Taehyung asked, noticing how quiet Jeongguk had suddenly gotten.

Jeongguk nodded.

“Yeah…kind of. I’ve never worked with kids before. I don’t want them to think I suck.” Jeongguk replied honestly.

As confident as he was about what he would be teaching for his first class, this was whole new territory for him. He didn’t have much experience when it came to being around kids, other than the occasional kicking around of a soccer ball at a local park, so he wasn’t sure if he would even be taken seriously by them, or if the kids would even like him in the first place.

But Taehyung shook his head.

“They won’t think you suck. I can guarantee it. Just be your naturally talented, charming, genuine self and they’ll instantly love you. Kids can smell bullshit, so just be real with them.”

Jeongguk smiled, basking in the way Taehyung had spoken about him, even if he had a hard time believing those things about himself.

“How about this, I hold onto the pizza for now, and when you’re class is over, you come back and tell me all about it while we eat.” Taehyung suggested as he put a reassuring hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder.

Jeongguk nodded, grateful for the idea, hoping he might even be able to score a ride home from Taehyung, maybe even convince him to come up and hang out in Jeongguk’s room for however long it took to get a repeat of last Saturday night.

The thought made his cock twitch, and he knew he needed to get out of there and talk himself down before showing up at his new job. There was no way he could teach a class with a full-on erection in his jeans. The thought was mortifying.

So Jeongguk agreed to return before heading out to continue his trek to the museum, his anxiety beginning to fade the less he thought about being nervous and the more he thought about how he couldn’t wait to just spend time with the guy he liked.

---

“Oh…fuck…Tae…” Jeongguk sighed as he winced from the orgasm coursing through his core, feeling it all the way down to the tips of his toes.

Fucking hell, he had never come so hard and so fast than when he was with Taehyung. It was unreal.

Taehyung’s grip on Jeongguk’s cock loosened as he yelped from his own climax, pulling out before removing the condom, tying it off to throw away in Jeongguk’s bathroom garbage.

He lay down next to Jeongguk in his bed, pulling the younger one in for a deep kiss, but as he began to pull away, Jeongguk caught his lips before he could, desperate for more.

He just couldn’t seem to get enough of Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung’s face was between Jeongguk’s hands as his body moved on top, forcing Taehyung onto his back, a captive to Jeongguk’s need to kiss him for however long he deemed necessary.

Taehyung’s body was tense at first, as if he thought there needed to be a breaking point, that stopping was a given, but it wasn’t long before he allowed his muscles to relax as he sank into Jeongguk’s touch, his kiss, forgetting any formalities their friends with benefits situation should possibly be keeping.

Jeongguk was relentless with his mouth, tongue, and lips as he kept kissing his crush. Nothing but slow, druggy, inexorable kisses that Jeongguk hoped Taehyung would never forget.

It was all actions and no words, because he couldn’t tell Taehyung how he felt, not without the potential of things getting awkward. No, he would just have to keep using this nonverbal way of letting Tae know that this all meant more for him. And that if it was okay, then Taehyung wouldn’t make him stop the onslaught of kisses and touches and sighs.

No words meant he didn’t have to confirm or deny anything, and Taehyung could decide for himself if there was any meaning behind it all.

Jeongguk tried to tell himself that it was okay if Taehyung didn’t feel the same. If his feelings were soundly fixed at friendship and attraction, with no pitter-patter in his heart when it came to Jeongguk.

But he knew Taehyung would tell him the truth if he asked. The only problem was that Jeongguk was scared of what the truth might be, especially if it didn’t end up in his favor.

And if the truth was that Taehyung was feeling something too, what would it mean if his feelings were stronger? What if it was love? Then what would Jeongguk do with that information? The potential of breaking Taehyung’s heart was something he couldn’t even bear to think about. But the thought of Taehyung feeling nothing seemed even more devastating.

No, it was better to be silent and just enjoy the moment. To enjoy the best Jeongguk had ever had of anything, and to never take one second of it for granted.

“Does it usually rain this much here in November?” Jeongguk asked as the two lay in his bed after another round of hot, tempestuous sex while the rain poured outside.

Asking about the weather seemed like the most gauche of after sex convo, but the silence had felt like a vexing taunt, challenging Jeongguk to confess to Taehyung why his heart was beating so fast even after he’d caught his breath.

“Not usually. But I think it might mean we’re going to get snow a little earlier than usual this winter.” Taehyung responded as he stared up at Jeongguk’s ceiling with his hands behind his head, stretching out his torso, Jeongguk’s bedsheet slung low around Taehyung’s hips in such an achingly sexy way that Jeongguk’s heart stuttered at the sight.

Jeongguk wanted badly to wrap his body around him, to rest his head against Taehyung’s chest and listen to his heart beating, wondering what secrets it might tell him.

But he resisted, and instead, silently hoped it would rain like this all night so Taehyung would be forced to stay.

“Hey, you never finished telling me about the project the kids made today. You did something with oil pastels?” Taehyung asked, remembering how Jeongguk had never finished telling Taehyung all about the art class after Jeongguk had gone off on some tangent about something Jeongguk couldn’t even remember anymore.

“Oh, yeah. Today is Dia de Los Muertos, a Mexican holiday that celebrates the dead. So I showed the kids how to draw a sugar skull. We did it on black paper and used white oil pastels. They turned out really good! I was impressed.” Jeongguk explained, smiling at how excited his new students had been.

His first day of teaching the art class had gone much better than he had expected, and it had been a relief.

He’d had 25 kids in the class, all between the ages of 7 and 12, and they had been so pleasantly amazed by Jeongguk when he had drawn an example of a sugar skull for them.

The whole time spent with the students had made Jeongguk feel like a rock star, and he knew he had made the right decision by applying to the position.

It had been so fun, so rewarding, to the point that when Jeongguk had finished cleaning up after all the kids had left, he’d walked out of the museum with a newfound assurance that teaching art just might be his true calling.

“I’m sure having you there to teach them how to do it was a big reason why they turned out so good. They’re lucky kids, Guk.” Taehyung replied as he turned his head and gazed at Jeongguk proudly.

It was dark in Jeongguk’s room, with nothing but the street lights outside casting a tawny, dreamy glow through his window curtains, so he knew Taehyung couldn’t see the blush in his cheeks at the compliment.

His heart thrummed in his chest as he looked back at Taehyung. Beautiful, kind, encouraging, talented, sexy, sweet, smart, humble Taehyung. The adjectives to describe this incredible human continued to stack up in Jeongguk’s mind.

“What?” Taehyung asked, a smirk on his lips as Jeongguk said nothing in return.

Jeongguk shook his head, embarrassed at being caught swooning.

“Nothing…I…uh…I was just wondering if you’d ever want to go to the museum. They have a great photography exhibit.”

Jeongguk could feel Taehyung’s eyes regarding him, attempting to dissect whatever it was that was making Jeongguk suddenly act so unusually.

“Yeah, I’d love to go, since I haven’t been there in a couple of years. I’d also love to watch you teach.”

Jeongguk chuckled.

“Only if you behave like a student and do the project too.”

Taehyung nodded.

“Oh absolutely. I wouldn’t go if I couldn’t.”

To be continued…

Chapter Text

“Be still, Joony, you’re coming out all blurred.” Jeongguk said as he looked over the portrait photos he had taken of Joon-Yi for their portrait project in photography class.

The whole class was divided up around the photography classroom, having been told to set up an area to work on their current assignment. As always, Jeongguk and Joon-Yi had chosen to work together in their corner of the room.

“How does the backdrop look? Was black a good choice?” Joon-Yi asked, nervous about how she looked in the photos after Jeongguk had suggested they make a print of one and give it to Hoseok.

“It looks great. Makes you look artsy and mysterious.” Jeongguk replied with a wink as he repositioned his tripod before taking a few more snaps of Joon-Yi, periodically repositioning her for other angles.

It wasn’t long before Professor Lee came by to see how it was going, smiling at how Jeongguk had set up one of the lights with a screen in front of it, casting a soft glow over Joon-Yi as he photographed her.

“Well done, Jeongguk. These look really nice.” Professor Lee commented as he scrolled through a few of the photos.

“I’ve been noticing how much your work has improved. Taehyung told me he’s been helping you?”

Jeongguk nodded.

“Yes, he has. He’s been…great.”

At just the mention of Taehyung, Jeongguk’s heart began to thud, his anxiousness over Professor Lee’s thoughts fading as his mind filled with the night before when he’d gone by Tae’s apartment with the sole purpose being to drop off a bracelet Taehyung had left on Jeongguk’s nightstand.

And just as he had hoped, Taehyung had offered to make the two some ramyeon, which Jeongguk could not refuse.

The dinner invitation had eventually led to Taehyung showing Jeongguk the spare bedroom, and stacks of photos Taehyung had taken over the years.

Jeongguk had looked over hundreds of the photos, getting an even clearer view of who Taehyung was. The work was natural and mysterious and romantic, just like Taehyung himself. Each photo full of intimate details, a focus on the beauty of nature and life. The work was breathtaking, to say the least, and Jeongguk was honored that he had been given a chance to see the very thing that made Taehyung happier than anything else.

The photos were still on his mind as the two sat outside on the balcony, smoking one of Yoongi’s blunts, laughing in between profound talks about life and the future.

“I really think you should do what you love, Tae. I know you’ve worked hard at baseball, but the world needs your photography more than they need your fastball.” Jeongguk had said, feeling comfortable enough to talk so openly with Taehyung.

Taehyung had nodded, a conflicted look on his face.

“I’m supposed to let Coach Han know what I plan to do before the season starts so he can let the scouts know if I’m becoming a free agent or not. I have a deadline to make a decision.”

Jeongguk had sighed, completely understanding the tough position Taehyung was in.

“What does Jin and Namjoon think?” He asked, sure that the two assistant coaches had given their friend some insight.

Taehyung smiled softly.

“They both think I should do whatever my heart is telling me to do. They said they’ll support me no matter what.”

Jeongguk had smiled too, feeling so grateful for having fallen into friendship with this particular group of guys. And even more grateful that they had led him to the otherworldly Kim Taehyung, even though Jeongguk was constantly hit with the fact that he had no claim on the baseball playing photography major, and that he had to keep himself in check.

Jeongguk knew that he just had to be patient and wait for the day that his feelings faded back into a platonic state of being, because the way he felt about Taehyung seemed to rage on at full speed as each day passed, with there being no peak in sight, and it was beginning to make him uneasy.

But then, history had repeated itself time and time again when it came to Jeongguk and his heart. He wasn’t hopeful that this time would be any different, though something kept nagging at him to just tell Taehyung how he felt, and just see what it led to. But Jeongguk always found a way to shut the thoughts down.

So, instead, the conversation out on Taehyung’s balcony had turned into Jeongguk complaining that he was cold, and could they go back inside, and could they maybe warm up in Taehyung’s bed.

“Always so subtle, Jeon.” Taehyung had teased before pulling Jeongguk to him, his mouth capturing Jeongguk’s in that sexy, possessive way that made Jeongguk completely fall apart.

It was only after their night of sweat-soaked carnality, and when Taehyung’s breathing became steady and deep as he drifted to sleep, that Jeongguk thought about all the other people who had been there before him.

How many people had laid here in Taehyung’s bed? How many people had felt what Jeongguk felt? How many of them did Taehyung sleep with more than once? Did he ever feel anything more for any of them? Did he have the kinds of conversations with them that he and Jeongguk had? But most of all, why did Jeongguk want to know all of that so much?

He sighed as he looked over at Taehyung, striking as always and to the point that it was almost unfair, and he wondered why he always ended up lying awake thinking so much.

Jeongguk just wanted to try and fall asleep as easily as Taehyung had, but realizations just kept smacking around in his head, in his chest, like a fog slowly clearing away to reveal the sunlight. What was this feeling? And why was it pestering him so mercilessly? It wasn’t necessarily bad, not always. In fact, at times it felt euphoric, but also hopeless, intense and dangerous. It made him feel alive and reckless while also grounding him and giving him a whole new perspective towards everything around him.

Looking at Taehyung made his heart swell, so full of this feeling that he thought it might burst. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, because he wasn’t an idiot, he could name what this was without ever having felt it before. He could admit it, he could own it, and he could say it out loud to himself.

“I’m in love with him.”

He’d whispered it, though he knew Taehyung wouldn’t have heard him regardless. Tae was fast asleep, holding his pillow in the way he always did when he was deep into Dreamland.

Jeongguk looked away, rolling onto his back, his heart beating so hard that his whole body had turned into one big heartbeat.

This was love. He was in love with Taehyung, plain and simple.

“You should tell him.” Joon-Yi said after Professor Lee had moved on to the next group as Taehyung was also beginning to make the rounds.

Joon-Yi had been the only person Jeongguk had told about his personal revelation. He’d had to tell someone, someone who wasn’t Tae, to test the waters on how legit his feelings might actually be, and Joon-Yi’s reaction was smug. 

“I knew that already, Guk. I was just waiting for you to realize it too.” She had said.

And now she had been insisting that Jeongguk tell Taehyung about his feelings, somehow so confident that it would lead to the one thing Jeongguk had always wanted. Unfortunately, Jeongguk didn’t share her confidence.

“I know.” Jeongguk replied as he watched Taehyung out of the corner of his eye, talking to one of his classmates about contrast and light sources.

“But you aren’t going to, are you, you big chicken shit.” Joon-Yi said as she gave Jeongguk a scrutinizing look.

Jeongguk sighed. He couldn’t even fathom what Taehyung might say if he knew how Jeongguk felt. It could fuck up everything, and Jeongguk wasn’t sure he could take that risk. Taehyung’s friendship was too important to him to ever lose it over something that might not even last.

“I’m not trying to be a chicken shit…I just…what if I fall out of love with him like, I don’t know, next week? Then I will have possibly fucked up everything for nothing.”

Joon-Yi chuckled.

“Guk, that’s not how love works. You’re not going to fall out of love next week. Admit it, you are in deep, and Taehyung has a right to know how you feel.”

Jeongguk sighed again. This was all so much easier when he’d just wanted to fuck Taehyung and nothing more.

“I’ll tell him…I promise…just…not quite yet.” Jeongguk hissed as Taehyung made his way over to where Jeongguk and Joon-Yi were working.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Taehyung asked, smiling all innocently while Jeongguk was a total, fucking mess inside.

“It’s going well, actually. In fact, Jeonggukie was just telling me some really big news.” Joon-Yi said with a smirk.

Jeongguk gave her a murderous look before turning back to Taehyung.

“Oh yeah? What’s the big news?” Taehyung asked, genuinely interested, which was so adorable that Jeongguk could barely handle it.

“Uh…um…well…I..I have my first practice game tonight. Underclassmen versus upperclassmen.” Jeongguk stammered, but beyond relieved that he had thought of something, though it wasn’t really big news at all.

Taehyung nodded.

“That’s awesome, Guk. Maybe I’ll come by and watch.”

Jeongguk smiled nervously, but couldn’t help but melt at the thought of Taehyung cheering him on from the sidelines.

“I’d love that.” Jeongguk said with a gulp, realizing what word he’d just used while eliciting a giggle from Joon-Yi.

“You suck so much.” Jeongguk said after Taehyung had left to join Professor Lee to go over some notes.

Joon-Yi chuckled.

“Ah, you only say that now because you don’t like it when I push you, but you know I’m right. And you will be thanking me someday when we are all celebrating at the Kim-Jeon wedding.”

---

“Jeon! Lead in the back! Cover!”

Jeongguk looked back at Seo-Jun, the underclassman goalie who was also a sophomore like Jeongguk but had been playing for Odaesan since his freshman year.

As one of two sweepers on the soccer team, Jeongguk knew he had to be in constant communication with his goalie, but Seo-Jun’s constant barking of orders was starting to piss Jeongguk off.

“Defend left! Left!” Seo-Jun shouted as Jeongguk quickly darted to his left to block the mid-fielder coming his way, but Jeongguk had failed to block the opposing player and the hard kick of the ball went sailing towards the underclassman goal.

Fortunately, Seo-Jun had blocked the shot.

“Great defense.” Seo-Jun snarled sarcastically.

Jeongguk shot him a look before getting back into position.

The game had not been going well at all, and it was so frustrating that it had taken every ounce of will within him to not pretend to turn his ankle so he could sit out for the rest of it.

He looked up into the mostly empty stands to see his group of friends taking seats so they could watch.

“Oh shit. Kim Taehyung is here.” The team captain, Yeonjin, mumbled as he motioned for everyone to gather around for a quick halftime talk.

He almost looked nervous about Taehyung’s presence, which made Jeongguk smirk with pride.

“Yeah, how random is that?” Chimed in Chin-Hwa, the upperclassman right fullback who had also become Jeongguk’s soccer team mentor.

“It’s because he’s fucking Jeon.” Quipped Hoonjee, the teams other goalie.

The players chuckled at the gossip as Jeongguk tried to hide his blush by pretending to wipe sweat from his face.

“Well, then that explains it.” Chin-Hwa replied with a chuckle as he winked at Jeongguk.

“I didn’t realize that my personal life was part of a fucking practice game.” Jeongguk scoffed as he scowled at his teammates.

“It’s not, so let’s get serious.” Yeonjin replied as he changed the subject by scolding everyone on what they had done wrong during the first half of their game.

“And Jeon, you need to get it together. This isn’t junior college shit. This is university soccer, so get on the ball, figuratively and literally.” Yeonjin said as he glared at the underclassman sweeper.

Jeongguk looked over at Coach Yang as he stood on the sidelines with the team’s assistant coaches and team manager. He made eye contact with Jeongguk, as if he knew exactly what Yeonjin was saying and agreed completely.

It was disheartening, to say the least.

The game continued, and without Jeongguk making much progress. His defense was lacking against the upperclassman offensive side, and he couldn’t seem to be quick enough when darting from the left to the right sides of the field. The only strength he seemed to have was his ability to kick the ball away from the goal, but he’d only managed to do that a handful of times throughout the entire game.

Finally, the game ended with the upperclassmen side winning, but they weren’t allowed to celebrate their victory until after the analysis from Coach Yang.

Jeongguk couldn’t even make eye contact with anyone as his coaches gave their feedback. He knew he had disappointed his team. He was one of two team sweepers, which meant he had a shit ton of responsibility on the field. He had to have exceptional ball control, to be fast and have a strong leg. Which were all things Jeongguk had always possessed when he played. But Yeonjin had been right. University ball was a whole other level and Jeongguk had a lot of work to do.

“Way to play!” Jimin cheered once Jeongguk had joined his friends on the bleachers.

“We were cheering for you.” Yoongi added as he clapped for their friend.

Jeongguk shook his head.

“Yeah, but I clearly sucked out there.” He replied as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, wet from sweat.

“You looked pretty badass, if you ask me.” Hoseok said as he clapped Jeongguk on the back.

“You just need to get drunk, Guk. And a few Seokjin Shots will do just the trick.” Seokjin said with a wide grin as he rubbed his hands together eagerly.

Namjoon nodded in agreement.

“It’s just one practice game, Jeonggukie. It will get better.”

Jeongguk appreciated all of the positivity from his friends, but he still felt like shit.

“Hey, it’s true.”

The sound of Taehyung’s deep, reassuring voice lifted Jeongguk’s head, and his pulse raced.

“It’s just one practice game. And this is a whole new team. But you have real talent, Guk, that was obvious to anyone watching. You’re a powerful player, and you’ll find your groove with the team as you continue to condition and practice. You can be hard on yourself if it helps, but also remember that you have a place on this team for a reason.”

Jeongguk could feel a faint smile forming on his lips at Taehyung’s helpful words and advice.

“And yeah, you really should just get completely hammered tonight.” Taehyung added, making Jeongguk laugh, his shoulders finally relaxing.

“Thanks, Tae.” Jeongguk replied, realizing he was gazing at him but not caring who noticed.

He knew he needed to tell Taehyung how he felt, and he was trying hard to gather up the courage to utter the three words he’d never said to anyone other than his parents, but it was a lot harder than he had ever thought it would be.

Maybe it would be easier once he got some alcohol in him, but just as the group began to head out to the parking lot to head over to Seokjin’s, Taehyung’s phone buzzed with a text.

“Fuck. Um…guys, I gotta go.” Taehyung said, grimacing as he read his phone before sticking it back in his pocket.

“Of course you do.” Hoseok replied, rolling his eyes.

“Traitor!” Yoongi yelped.

The other guys joined in on giving Taehyung shit while Jeongguk stayed silent, until he was unable to stop the words that tumbled from his mouth.

“Why? Who was it?” He asked quietly.

Taehyung shook his head as he sucked in a breath.

“Ah, it’s Sooyun. She’s just reminding me that I told her I’d come by.” He replied with a crooked grin, sheepish about being summoned by a girl he wasn’t even dating.

Or was he? Was it possible that Taehyung was involved with her but not quite in the same way that he was involved with Jeongguk? The thought was a punch to the gut.

“Will you come by later?” Jeongguk asked, hoping Taehyung’s plans weren’t going to take long.

Taehyung winced.

“I don’t think I can. I need to finish my assignment for my portfolio class. But you have my permission to drink my share of the Seokjin Shots.” He said with a grin as he squeezed the back of Jeongguk’s neck.

“No extra ones for Jimin.” He teased before parting ways with the group to head to his truck.

Jeongguk waved as Taehyung drove off before piling into Yoongi’s car. But he suddenly didn’t feel like partying anymore. He’d had a shitty game and now Taehyung was going off to be with someone else.

“Sooyun is having a fucking meltdown over how often Taehyung has been blowing her off for you.” Jimin said as he slunk into the backseat next to Jeongguk while Yoongi and Hobi were sharing a blunt and rapping along to the Drake song playing on the radio.

“Is he dating her?” Jeongguk asked, trying not to think about the way she’d moaned Taehyung’s name the night of Taehyung’s party. It made him feel nauseated.

Jimin chuckled.

“Fuck no, but they’ve been hooking up for a while now. Not lately, though. Seems you’re the only one he’s currently fucking. You haven’t asked him about it?”

Jeongguk shook his head.

“I haven’t wanted to.” He replied as he lay his head back against the seat, thinking maybe it actually was a good idea to spend the rest of his night getting royally shitfaced.

“What gives, Guk?” Jimin asked quietly as he eyed the group’s maknae.

Jeongguk sighed.

“What do you think?”

Jimin’s eyes widened.

“Seriously?” He asked, not taking his eyes off Jeongguk.

Jeongguk nodded.

“And if you dare say you win the betting pool, I will deck you.”

Jimin chuckled.

“Oh man, Gukkie…that’s…that’s amazing. I’m like…so proud of you.”

Jeongguk closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. Two. That was now two people who knew about his feelings for Taehyung, and Jeongguk knew who the third person needed to be.

“When are you going to tell him? Because, you know you need to tell him.”

Jeongguk shrugged.

“I’ll tell him soon…I’m just…I’m fucking terrified, Jimin. What if it’s not what he wants to hear?”

Jimin shook his head.

“Why wouldn’t he want to know that you love him? Even if he’s not sure at first, I know that you are exactly what Taehyung needs. And I’m pretty sure Taehyung knows that you are what he needs too. He just has to be given the opportunity to believe in the possibility, because homie has been going on the notion that you don’t fall in love.”

Jeongguk opened his eyes and looked at his friend and roommate.

“Just because I feel this way, that doesn’t mean this is a good thing, Jimin. I had promised him that this would be casual, that he wouldn’t have to worry about me falling for him. I feel like I’ve betrayed him. I know I should tell him…but I also know he might lose trust in me, and then what am I left with? A broken heart and no more best friend.”

Jimin sighed, knowing Jeongguk could be right, but he didn’t seem totally convinced.

“Then don’t tell him, and see where that gets you. Yes, it’s risky, Guk, but what if Taehyung surprises you? What if you find out that he feels exactly the way you do? Then it’s all happily ever after for you both. And trust me, I have no doubt that Taehyung feels the way you feel. I’ve been friends with him long enough to know. But he’s the one who feels like he has more to lose. He’s the one that has been hurt before, so you have to understand why he’ll be the one that needs the extra push.”

The two were silent for a while until the car began to slow down in front of Seokjin’s house, Yoongi and Hoseok chattering on about random shit while Jimin looked over at Jeongguk to say the rest of his peace before dropping the subject.

“He needs to know how you feel. You need to know how he feels. I’m not saying things won’t be rocky at first, but don’t miss the opportunity all because of the ‘what if’s’.”

---

Jeongguk had been lying in his bed for the past hour, drunk as hell and hoping to pass out soon, but his mind wouldn’t let him rest.

Thoughts of Taehyung wouldn’t leave him alone, and his jealous heart was making his stomach hurt, the sourness threatening to reintroduce him to all the shots, beers, and pizza he had ingested at Seokjin’s.

What was Taehyung’s deal with Sooyun? What did she look like? Was she so beautiful that Taehyung just couldn’t stay away from her? Was the sex better with her? Was Taehyung in love with her while Jeongguk sat here being in love with Taehyung?

Jimin had claimed that Sooyun had been upset with Tae because of all the time he’d been spending with Jeongguk, and Jeongguk had wanted to know more. So, after a few drinks, he’d gotten up the nerve to casually interrogate Jimin on what all he knew.

“Sooyun has been trying to get with Tae for years. She was even friends with Hae-Won until Hae-Won lost it and went off on her and Taehyungie after she found out they were fucking. It’s a ridiculous, dramatic shit storm. It got even messier when he started hooking up with you. Sooyun does not like competition.”

Jeongguk had sighed as Jimin gave him the lowdown on Taehyung’s situation with Sooyun. He’d had no idea what Tae had been dealing with.

“Why didn’t he tell me any of that?” He had asked, feeling frustrated that Taehyung hadn’t confided in him when he seemed to tell him everything else about his life.

Jimin shook his head.

“Because you’ve become his escape from the bullshit. You’re his safe place, his comfort, and he didn’t want to sully what you two have with senseless, immature drama.”

Jeongguk liked hearing that, he liked thinking that he was a haven for Taehyung, but he still wished Tae hadn’t omitted things he was going through, especially since they had become so close.

“Did he tell you that?” Jeongguk asked, wondering when it might have been that Taehyung had confided in Jimin about Sooyun.

But Jimin shook his head no.

“No, he told Seokjin. He always goes to Seokjin for grown up advice. But Seokjin had told me about it because he could see that you and Tae were getting closer. He wanted to know what I thought.”

Jeongguk chuckled.

“And what do you think, Jiminie?” He asked as he cocked an eyebrow at his roommate.

Jimin smiled.

“You want the truth, Guk?” He asked.

Jeongguk nodded. He was pretty sure he did.

“Then the truth is that I think you two are meant for each other.” He replied simply before elaborating.

“You’re so good together. We all see it, and we all think it. I wish you could have seen the way you two were at your birthday party, the way you interacted at the baseball game and Taehyung’s party, the way you kissed in front of everyone at the Halloween party. You two are in your own little world when you are together, and it’s…it’s special, Guk. It’s really something.”

“It’s really something.” Jeongguk said out loud to himself as he continued to stare at his ceiling.

He wondered if Taehyung felt that way too. That what they had with each other was something special.

Jeongguk let his mind wander to what it would be like if he was with Taehyung. If they were to both find out that they felt the same way about each other and what that would mean and how it would change their dynamic.

The thought of Taehyung introducing Jeongguk to people as his boyfriend made Jeongguk grin, his cheeks getting warm as he thought about doing all of the cute couple-y things that people who are in love do. Christmas parties, movie nights, lazy Sunday mornings in bed. It was all the things he’d wanted to experience with someone he loved, and it felt as if he was reaching out, almost able to grab hold and have it.

His mind kept drifting as he closed his eyes, ready to let sleep take him into a swirl of mint-colored dreams, but before he was able to slip into unconsciousness, his phone suddenly chirped to life.

He grabbed it quickly from his bedside table, wondering who the hell would be calling him so late instead of just texting.

And he was more than surprised to see that the call was from Taehyung.

“Hello? Tae?”

There was a muffled sound on the other end before Taehyung spoke.

“Hey, Gukkie…um…sorry to call so late…are you home?”

Jeongguk sat up at the sound of Taehyung’s slurred voice. He was drunk.

“Yeah, why? Where are you?” He asked frantically, wondering if Tae was all right.

“I’m outside your dorm. Can you let me in? I just…I can’t drive home…I’m too wasted…can I crash with you?”

Jeongguk jumped out of his bed and practically sprinted to his front door.

“Get in here.” Jeongguk said as he pulled Taehyung inside and practically dragged him to his bedroom, not wanting to wake up Jimin.

“Why are you wasted and wandering around campus at three in the morning?” Jeongguk scolded as he helped Taehyung to take off his jacket and shoes.

“Sooyun…she lives in the dorms across campus…after I left…I didn’t want to go home…so I went to the gas station across the street and bought this here bottle of super gross cabernet.” Taehyung said as he held up the open bottle of wine he’d been clutching, a lazy smile on his face.

“I mean, this shit is practically swill, Guk…try it.”

But Jeongguk shook his head as he took the bottle from Taehyung’s hand.

“No way. It smells awful.” He replied as he sniffed the musty scent of the cheap red.

“But, it was effective…it did the trick…I feel nothing…I’m good and numb.” Taehyung replied as he lay down on Jeongguk’s bed and curled up on his side.

Jeongguk sighed as he lay down next to him, face to face, his pulse racing with worry wondering exactly why Taehyung felt the need to get so drunk.

“What happened, Tae? Be honest. You can tell me anything.”

Taehyung’s eyes were closed, his breathing heavy, but he wasn’t asleep, at least, not yet.

“Sooyun is a nice girl. Too nice. I never should have slept with her. I was so stupid.” He said, talking louder than he normally would be if he were sober.

If Jimin was sleeping, he was surely awake by now and probably listening with his ear against the other side of the wall.

“What did she say?” Jeongguk asked quietly, hoping Taehyung would keep talking and not pass out yet.

“Ugh…it was bad, Gukkie…she…she told me that she’s in love with me…that she wants to be more…she wants me to stop fucking around…to stop hanging out with you so much…to try and give a relationship with her a chance. But I had to tell her no. I don’t want any of that…not with her. And I feel like an asshole for leading her on when I wasn’t even trying to.”

Taehyung opened his eyes, they looked glassy and weary as they focused on Jeongguk.

“She’s so jealous of you.” Taehyung said with a laugh.

Jeongguk chuckled.

“As she should be.” Jeongguk replied, jokingly.

“I am pretty awesome.”

Taehyung nodded, causing his mint hair to flop over his eyes. It was getting too long and Jeongguk wanted desperately to brush it out of his face so he could keep staring into those deep, dark pools, getting lost in them the way he often did when they were so close like this.

“You are…you so are…Gukkie.” Taehyung sighed.

“And you’re so hot…I told her how hot you are. And how kind you are…and how funny and talented you are. You’re just so…good and patient, and everyone likes you. You know who you are and what you want…you’re always so honest and straightforward. You’re just…you’re the best, Jeonggukie…you’re wonderful.”

Taehyung’s eyes had flitted shut as he spoke, so he didn’t see the look of complete shock on Jeongguk’s face at all he had just said.

“Tae?”

But when Taehyung didn’t respond, Jeongguk knew he had passed out. So Jeongguk took one of his extra pillows and placed it in front of Taehyung, smiling softly as Taehyung wrapped his body around it, sighing deeply as he fell deeper into slumber while Jeongguk’s heart was pounding savagely.

He wanted to etch it into his mind everything Taehyung had said. Those incredible words. His genuine, uninhibited thoughts about Jeongguk.

Jeongguk’s heart was fluttering wildly, his stomach in knots. What did that all mean?

“I don’t want any of that…not with her.”

That’s what Taehyung had said, and Jeongguk could only wonder if that meant he didn’t want any of the love and relationship stuff with anyone or just not with Sooyun. Or did he want those things with someone else? Did he want those things with Jeongguk?

It was the biggest mystery of them all, and Jeongguk had no idea what to do. Taehyung had been so torn up about Sooyun’s confession, so upset about having to deny her to the point that he had gotten wasted over it. What would be the result if Jeongguk were to confess the same thing?

It was awful seeing Taehyung like this, and the last thing Jeongguk wanted to do was cause it to happen a second time. To have Taehyung go through this kind of guilt again.

Fuck if this wasn’t an awful place to be in. Jeongguk wanted Taehyung to know the truth, because if Tae’s feelings were mutual, then the two could begin something new together. But if Taehyung didn’t feel the same, it would be devastating to both of them.

Jeongguk didn’t want to think about it anymore. He just wanted to lay there and watch Taehyung sleep until he finally went to sleep too.

That was the only plan he had. For now, it was all he could do.

---

When Jeongguk woke up the next morning, it was almost noon and Taehyung was no longer lying next to him.

For a brief moment, he wondered if Taehyung coming over the night before, saying so many lovely things, had all been a dream. But he smiled to himself knowing it hadn’t been. Still, he wished Taehyung hadn’t felt the need to leave without saying goodbye. He didn’t want Taehyung to have any regrets about having lain himself bare the way he had, not when it had meant so much to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk checked his phone. Not even a text. His heart sank.

He still had a couple of hours until his painting class so he rolled onto his stomach to try and get another hour of sleep until he heard voices coming from the kitchen.

Jeongguk got up and walked out of his room to see Taehyung and Jimin talking as Taehyung stood over the stove frying eggs while Jimin was buttering pieces of toast.

“Ah, Gukkie, you’re awake.” Taehyung greeted with a soft smile.

Jimin looked up, smiling mischievously as he handed Jeongguk the plate of toast.

“Good morning, Jeonggukie! Oh, darn, I just remembered that I told Hobi I would meet him for coffee. I better get going.” Jimin said unconvincingly before grabbing his jacket and leaving quickly.

It had been far too obvious that Jimin wanted to give the two of them privacy, but neither Taehyung nor Jeongguk mentioned it as Jeongguk took a seat at the counter and watched Taehyung flip the eggs.

“You didn’t have to make breakfast.” Jeongguk said as he took a bite of toast.

Taehyung nodded.

“Yes, I did. I owe you for last night. I feel like an asshole for showing up like that. I don’t even remember falling asleep.” He said with a sigh as he slid an egg out of the pan and onto Jeongguk’s plate.

“Which means I must have been really drunk and when I get drunk I can get way too honest sometimes. I’m sorry, Guk.”

But Jeongguk shook his head.

“It’s no big deal at all, Tae. You were having a rough night, and I’m glad I could be there for you. And I’m always here for you. I hope you know that.”

Taehyung smiled, his eyes locked on Jeongguk’s, causing that weak feeling to surge through every nerve inside Jeongguk’s body.

“I know you are…and I’m so grateful. And I’m sorry I missed out on getting to hang out with you and the guys after your game, especially when I know that your game didn’t go how you had wanted. So…I really do want to make it up to you with something more than just making breakfast.”

Jeongguk chuckled, shaking his head.

“I can’t let you do that. Honestly, breakfast is enough.”

But Taehyung didn’t let up.

“If you don’t tell me something I can do then I’ll just think of something on my own.” He said with a smirk before taking a sip of his coffee.

Jeongguk crossed his arms, eyeing the ceiling as he attempted to think of something.

“The options are limitless.” He said slyly as he tapped his chin.

Taehyung chuckled, knowing exactly the kind of things Jeongguk was thinking of.

“But, I do know something you can do. You can come to my museum class on Monday and hang out with me and the kids.”

Taehyung’s smile spread from ear to ear.

“Really? That’s what you want? I already told you I would go.”

Jeongguk nodded.

“I know, but we can talk about the rest of what you can owe me after the class is over.”

Taehyung pursed his lips, nodding his head.

“Okay. Then I’ll pick you up on Monday. But in the meantime, you need to go to class and I need to go to baseball practice.” Taehyung said as he stuck his empty breakfast plate and coffee cup in the dishwasher.

“Thank you for the breakfast, Tae. Leave the dishes for Jimin.” Jeongguk said with a laugh before walking Taehyung to the door.

“Thank you, again…for last night, Guk. You really are wonderful.” Taehyung said with a sigh as he smiled faintly, obviously still bothered by what had led him to Jeongguk’s dorm in the first place.

Jeongguk was just about to argue that it really had been no big deal, but not before Taehyung was suddenly kissing him, his lips firm but soft against Jeongguk’s.

But this was different. It wasn’t like Taehyung to kiss him so randomly. Typically, they saved all of that for when they were hooking up, leaving everything for the bedroom and nowhere else.

So this particular kiss was unusual, with a sense of urgency and need behind it as Taehyung clasped Jeongguk’s neck between his hands, the kiss deepening as Jeongguk melted into it, never able to get enough, his body tingling, greedy with wanting more.

But there was never any way to get enough, his mouth trailing after Taehyung’s even when he finally pulled away.

“I better go. I’ll text you.” Taehyung’s husky, lust-ridden voice murmured as he gave Jeongguk one last quick peck on the lips before saying goodbye.

Jeongguk was out of breath, Taehyung having kissed the air right out of him.

He had no idea what that had been, but he figured that maybe it was just Taehyung’s way of giving him something after a night of taking up half the space in Jeongguk’s bed with no sex proceeding the sleepover.

In fact, he convinced himself that was all it had been, because he couldn’t dare hope it had meant something else.

To be continued…

Chapter Text

“And who can tell me what the warm colors are?”

Jeongguk was standing in the museum classroom, in front of a cluster of round tables full of enthusiastic kids.

He loved the excitement as hands shot in the air, so many of the young art students wanting to answer.

Jeongguk hadn’t learned all of their names yet, so he called on one of the younger boys sitting up front, his hair jet black in a bowl cut just like Jeongguk had worn his own hair when he’d been about that age.

“Red, orange, and yellow!” The boy replied enthusiastically.

Jeongguk nodded.

“Perfect! Yes, the warm colors are red, orange and yellow. They make you think of warm things like fire, and the sun, and lava. So if those are the warm colors, what do you think the cool colors might be?”

Hands shot up again, but this time, Jeongguk pointed at Taehyung, who was sitting at the back table with the older kids, the ones who thought they were too cool, and Taehyung was determined to get them to lighten up.

“Ah, our new friend, Taehyungie, wants to answer.” Jeongguk said, smiling from ear to ear at how Taehyung looked around at his tablemates, asking the older kids for help.

“Mr. Jeon, the cool colors are green, blue, and violet!” Taehyung chirped as the kids all nodded their heads in agreement.

Jeongguk chuckled, nodding at Tae’s answer.

“That’s right. Good job to the back table for working together on that answer.”

It was only his second class, but Jeongguk already loved teaching it, and he was thankful that the museum had a program like this for the kids of the city who went to schools that were more STEM focused and didn’t have fine arts programs.

The fine arts were such a huge part of who Jeongguk was, and he hated the idea of young children missing out on something that he considered such a vital part of growing up, a vital part of life in general.

So he wanted to give the kids the best two hours of art that he possibly could, and he was beyond excited to have Taehyung there with him, not just for his company, but because Tae’s feedback was important to him as Jeongguk considered making teaching his future career.

“You’re a natural, Jeongguk.” Taehyung said later as the two drove back to his apartment, a stack of artwork sitting in the truck between them after several of the students had wanted to give Taehyung mementos of the project they’d done that day.

The kids had really seemed to enjoy having an adult sitting with them, learning along with them and doing the watercolor and marker project that had them getting messy but having the best time while doing so.

And a few of them had been curious, asking Taehyung if he and “Mr. Jeon” were best friends. Taehyung hadn’t even hesitated to say yes, and it had warmed Jeongguk’s heart.

“You know how to talk to them, and how to say things in a way that they’ll understand. They were so excited to make their little paper cutouts and to show you and get your approval. It was the sweetest thing I think I’ve ever seen.”

Jeongguk smiled humbly at all the positive things Taehyung had to say, making him feel a lot more confident about his decision to be an art teacher.

Knowing what he wanted to do now was a relief, and he had already looked into what courses he needed to take to get prepared.

“Honestly, watching you like that…you looked so at ease and happy. It was really sexy.” Taehyung said as he glanced over at Jeongguk and winked.

Jeongguk laughed, shaking his head bashfully.

The two opened a bottle of wine once they were back at Tae’s apartment, with Taehyung having displayed his artwork from Jeongguk’s class on his refrigerator, causing Jeongguk to smile affectionately, unable to slow how fast his heart was beating.

With each day that passed, Jeongguk wondered if the way he was feeling about Taehyung would ever start to fade away, dissipating back into the remarkable friendship they had created and nothing more. But it hadn’t faded at all. In fact, it felt as if the feelings were only growing stronger, but with nowhere to go unless Jeongguk would get up the nerve to say something.

And it was getting more and more difficult to hold back when Taehyung was doing the things he was doing with his mouth on Jeongguk’s neck, his hands clutching Jeongguk’s waist as he backed him up against his bathroom door.

“Fucking hell, Guk…you make my dick so fucking hard…” Taehyung groaned in Jeongguk’s ear as Jeongguk made quick work of unbuttoning Taehyung’s shirt.

Caged in by Taehyung’s arms, their lips finding each other before parting briefly, soft looks between them before going in for more, was making it nearly impossible to not imagine that there was so much more going on than just late nights filled with hot sex and suggestive confessions while the days were filled with long talks and good laughs.

If only Jeongguk could just read Taehyung’s mind, to know what he was thinking when he looked into Taehyung’s eyes. To be able to absorb his thoughts when his mouth traveled down Jeongguk’s chest, to his abs, all the way to his throbbing erection.

“Fuck…Tae…mmm…yes…” Jeongguk sighed as he threaded his hands into Taehyung’s hair while Taehyung took Jeongguk into his warm, eager mouth.

Holy shit this was fucking good. It was always good. It was too good to ever risk losing.

Maybe this could work. Maybe Jeongguk could just live in this limbo of friends who were more than friends but who didn’t attach any label or commitment to it. Maybe he could be satisfied to never tell Taehyung that he was in love with him, that he owned Jeongguk’s heart solely and completely.

But after hours of sex and quiet murmurs between kisses, Jeongguk found himself falling asleep in Taehyung’s arms, knowing that his heart would never be at ease until he could call this man his own.

---

Jeongguk woke up to the sound of rain on the roof of Taehyung’s bedroom.

Normally he’d be annoyed by how often it poured these days, but there was something comfortable and inviting about it. Maybe it was the way he and Taehyung were wrapped up in Tae’s sheets, the room so quiet with nothing but the sound of Taehyung’s heavy breathing and the soft patter of the rain outside, making him feel as if it was okay to be lazy and cozy for a little while. At least until he and Taehyung both needed to get up to go to their respective classes.

But when his stomach began to growl, he decided he would use that as his excuse to show off his cooking skills.

Jeongguk got up carefully, not wanting to wake up Taehyung, and pulled on his sweatpants. He ran a hand through his mussed hair as he headed into the kitchen before pulling out eggs from the refrigerator and a bag of rice and a box of guksu noodles from the cabinet.

He had never made breakfast for Taehyung before, but after a night of intense, mind-bending sex, Jeongguk figured Tae had earned a hearty meal.

And he had been just about to crack the eggs into the frying pan when he heard a soft knock on the front door.

He wasn’t sure if he should answer Taehyung’s door, especially when he was half dressed, but when the knock came again and sounded a little more urgent than the first time, Jeongguk figured he should see who it might be.

But he wasn’t prepared for who he saw on the other side.

“Uh…hey…you must be Jeongguk.” The pretty, petite brunette said with a soft smile that didn’t quite meet her dark brown eyes as she carried a small bag in her hand.

Jeongguk wasn’t sure how, because he’d never met her before, but he was almost certain that he knew who she was.

“Um…yeah…are you…are you Sooyun?”

The girl nodded, not taking her eyes off of Jeongguk, as if she was studying him, sizing up the person who had taken up so much of Taehyung’s time over the past couple of months.

“Yes, I am.” She replied simply.

Jeongguk opened the door wider and motioned for her to come in, which she readily did, not seeming to feel the least bit embarrassed that Jeongguk was shirtless and had obviously stayed the night with Taehyung, the man they both loved.

“I just came by to drop off some of Taehyung’s things that he’d left at my place.” She said as she walked into the kitchen.

“It smells good in here.” Sooyun said as she inhaled the breakfast Jeongguk was making.

“It’s the gomtang.” Jeongguk said awkwardly, not knowing what he should say to Sooyun when he noticed the look of thoughtfulness mixed with sorrow on her face from what she had walked into.

“Have you had breakfast?” He asked, compelled to be polite when he knew how fresh Taehyung’s rejection still was for her, and how Jeongguk could quite possibly be in the same boat as Sooyun eventually.

But Sooyun shook her head.

“I have an early morning study group and we usually meet up at the market diner near campus. I just…I wanted to bring this stuff by before I forgot.” She replied as she sat the bag on the kitchen counter, her eyes still looking Jeongguk over in such a penetrating way that it was almost becoming uncomfortable.

“So, did Taehyung tell you about what happened between us?” She asked bluntly, obviously wanting to address the very large elephant in the room.

Jeongguk raised his eyebrows in surprise at the unexpected question.

“Uh, well…a little bit. I didn’t really know anything about…about any of that, or about you…before.”

Sooyun nodded slowly as she pursed her lips, looking partly offended by Jeongguk’s lack of knowledge when it came to her and her situation with the highly desired baseball star.

“Well, I heard about you. A lot about you, actually. He talked about you so much that it probably should have been obvious to me that he wasn’t interested in me the way I hoped he was.” She said with a defeated chuckle.

“I guess my denial was so bad that he basically had to spell it out for me.”

Jeongguk didn’t know what to say. He had never been good at these types of conversations. Conversations about unrequited love. He had never been able to relate because he had never had his heart broken, and he felt useless to help anyone who suffered from heartache.

“But you seem really nice, Jeongguk, and just as hot as Taehyung said you were. I guess it shouldn’t at all come as a surprise to anyone that he’s in love with you.”

Jeongguk’s heart nearly stopped. If Sooyun’s goal had been to catch him completely off guard, she had succeeded, and she knew it.

“What? He hasn’t told you?” She asked, an unsettling smirk on her face.

Jeongguk gulped.

“I…um…I don’t think it’s fair to make assumptions about what Tae feels just because he didn’t feel the way you wanted him to.” Jeongguk replied coolly, now wishing he’d never invited her in.

It was obvious she had only come over to cause trouble.

“Oh, it’s not an assumption. He told me that he didn’t want to be with me because he’s in love with someone else. If it’s not you, then I can’t imagine who it could be.”

She looked at Jeongguk, a smug grin on her face at how she was attempting to upend Jeongguk’s world.

Taehyung had told Jeongguk how jealous Sooyun was of him, that she hadn’t taken things well when he’d told her the truth about how he felt.

She had to have known that Taehyung hadn’t told Jeongguk anything about how he might be feeling in regards to Jeongguk. That even if he really had told Sooyun that he was in love with someone, and even if that someone was Jeongguk, that Taehyung hadn’t been ready to say anything yet for whatever reason. And it hadn’t been her place to tell Jeongguk such things.

It was clear that she had only wanted to fuck things up because she had been scorned. And while Jeongguk was relieved that Taehyung had known better than to fall for her, he was still heartbroken that she had been so intent on hurting someone like Taehyung. Someone who was so special and kind and amazing.

But clearly, eye for an eye had been her motive and Jeongguk wasn’t having any of it.

“I don’t know, Sooyun, but I think it would be best if you leave before Taehyung wakes up.” Jeongguk said as he glared at her, wanting so badly to say a lot more, but daring not to.

Jeongguk refused to be a part of any further bullshit.

Sooyun smirked as she unfolded her arms and stuck her hands in the pockets of her jacket.

“Sure thing.” She said as she headed towards the door, Jeongguk right behind her, making sure she didn’t attempt to linger any longer than necessary.

“Nice meeting you, Jeongguk.” She said as she opened the door and walked back out into the rainy morning.

“And good luck.”

Jeongguk didn’t reply as he shut the door behind her, collapsing against it once it was closed, his pulse racing as he put a hand to his chest, attempting to calm his pounding heart.

He was more than skeptical about everything Sooyun had said, but nevertheless, he couldn’t stop his mind from entertaining the possibility that Taehyung might actually feel the way Jeongguk felt. That if they really were in love with each other, that it could change everything. That the desires of Jeongguk’s heart could actually become reality.

Jeongguk could hardly focus on the breakfast, overcooking the eggs until he had to start over, so lost in thought that he hadn’t even realized that Taehyung had come into the kitchen until his arms were suddenly circling around Jeongguk’s waist.

“Good morning.” Taehyung’s sleepy voice rasped as he kissed the back of Jeongguk’s neck.

And Jeongguk’s whole body responded to that small, sweet kiss. Fucking hell, he was completely gone for this man.

“Good morning. You got up just in time.” Jeongguk said as he turned and gave Taehyung a long, sultry kiss before pulling away to hand him a plate.

“What’s this bag?” Taehyung asked as he took a seat at the counter and peered inside.

Jeongguk cleared his throat, desperate to sound as nonchalant about Sooyun’s visit as possible.

“Oh…uh…Sooyun came by a little bit ago. She wanted to bring you some of your stuff.” Jeongguk replied, satisfied with his performance.

The last thing he needed was for Taehyung to suspect how shaken up he was by Sooyun’s unexpected visit.

Taehyung froze.

“You met her?” He asked as he looked up at Jeongguk, almost as if he was afraid of what Jeongguk might say.

Jeongguk nodded.

“Yeah…she was…nice. She said she had a study group to get to but she just wanted you to have your things before she forgot.”

Taehyung nodded as he began to look through the items in the bag, and Jeongguk breathed out a quiet sigh of relief when Taehyung didn’t ask him if she had said anything else. Jeongguk didn’t want to ever lie to Taehyung, but he certainly didn’t want to tell him what Sooyun had callously decided to divulge.

And it wasn’t just because of how complicated things could get, but also because Jeongguk was terrified that Taehyung would laugh, tell him that what she had said was ridiculous, that it wasn’t true, that he wasn’t in love with Jeongguk.

“This shit isn’t even mine.” Taehyung said with a laugh as he pulled out a pair of sunglasses, a bucket hat, a razor, two different lip balms, and a pair of socks.

“Oh wait, yeah…this Chapstick might be mine.”

Jeongguk chuckled.

“That’s gross.” He replied as he took a bite of his egg.

“Fuck yeah it is. Either she’s really confused or she was only coming over here because she thought you might be here and wanted to get a look at you. Because she knew I’d still be asleep.” Taehyung said, shaking his head.

“But I’m glad you met her. Now hopefully her curiosity is fulfilled and she won’t return.”

Jeongguk nodded, desperately hoping the very same thing.

---

“She brought a bag of things that weren’t even Tae’s?” Jimin asked, chuckling.

Jeongguk nodded his head as he sat on the floor of the dance studio with Jimin, Yoongi, Joon-Yi, and Hoseok, listening to music while they smoked.

“I mean…it was like some Fatal Attraction bullshit.” Jeongguk said before inhaling deeply from the blunt he held between his thumb and forefinger.

The group had met up at the studio right after Hoseok and Jimin’s last dance class ended, wanting a quick smoke before heading out to the latest Odaesan baseball scrimmage game against the Donghae University Jaguars.

Jeongguk had been filling the group in on what had happened with Sooyun.

“That girl is nuts. She’s as bad as Hae-Won, if not worse.” Hoseok said with a shake of his head as Jeongguk passed him the blunt.

“This is why we shouldn’t let Tae get so drunk around his groupies. He always ends up fucking stage five clingers.” Yoongi chimed in, but quickly catching himself.

“Well, except for you, Guk.” He corrected with a smirk.

Jeongguk chuckled.

“Oh, I own the fact that I’m one too.” Jeongguk said with a woeful sigh as he lay down on his back, letting his high take over, making him suddenly feel more giddy than gloomy over the conundrum his love life had become.

“You’re not a clinger, Gukkie. You’re the perfect man for our Taehyungie. If you two could just get honest with each other already.” Jimin said as he lay down next to Jeongguk.

“I want to…I just…I need the right moment, and the right moment just hasn’t happened yet.” He replied, suddenly wishing like hell that he could predict the future.

The group loaded up into Joon-Yi’s car, grateful that she had refrained from smoking so at least one of them was clearheaded enough to drive to the baseball game.

The Wolves were on the field warming up when the group had arrived, Taehyung waving from the pitcher’s mound.

Jeongguk waved back, and was just about to take a seat on the bleachers when he heard his name being called by a familiar voice.

He looked up to see Migyung sitting a few rows up, motioning for Jeongguk to come over to where he sat.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were into baseball.” Jeongguk said, noticing Migyung sitting with a couple other people from their drawing class.

Jeongguk was relieved that things between him and Migyung hadn’t been awkward after Seokjin’s Halloween party. In fact, Taehyung had been right about Migyung not blaming Jeongguk for hooking up with the baseball star.

“Taehyung is so hot, but I’ve never had the nerve to approach him. Good for you, my friend.” Migyung had told Jeongguk during class the week after the party.

Jeongguk had smiled, glad that there were no hard feelings between him and Migyung, but also remembering everything that had happened after that kiss at the party. The kiss that had led to the most incredible night back at Taehyung’s apartment.

“I’m not typically a sports fan, but since our drawing assignment is about motion, I figured I could get some good sketches at the game.” Migyung said as he held up his sketchbook.

Jeongguk nodded.

“That’s a good idea, actually.” Jeongguk said, wondering why he hadn’t thought to do the same.

“I have an extra book and pencils if you want to join us.” Migyung replied, pointing to the empty seat next to him.

Jeongguk shrugged.

“Yeah, sure. Thank you.”

There was no question about who Jeongguk focused his drawings on as he watched the ballgame, making small talk with Migyung as he drew.

Sketching Taehyung came easily to him, and not just because he had drawn his lover countless times in his sketchbooks back at his dorm. It was almost as if he had always been meant to draw Taehyung, his body, his face, seared into Jeongguk’s memory.

Once the game was over, he pulled the sheets out of the sketchbook before handing it back to Migyung and folded them into his back pocket.

“You coming to Seokjin’s?” Jimin asked once Jeongguk had rejoined his friends near the dugout.

Jeongguk nodded as Taehyung walked up, a distressed look on his handsome face even though the Odaesan Wolves had won the unofficial scrimmage.

“I can give you a ride.” Taehyung said, his gaze on Jeongguk hopeful, as if it would somehow be more rewarding than winning the game if Jeongguk rode with him to the after party.

But Taehyung was quiet in the truck as Jeongguk chattered on while they drove through the streets to Seokjin’s house.

“Is something wrong?” Jeongguk finally asked, sensing that Taehyung was bothered by something.

Taehyung shook his head.

“No…everything’s fine…I think I’m just…I’m tired.” He replied with a shrug.

“Well, you can just drop me off. You don’t have to stay.” Jeongguk said, though he really wanted Taehyung to stay.

Taehyung sighed.

“Yeah…I might have to call it a night. I’m sorry.” He said as he pulled into Seokjin’s driveway.

He looked over at Jeongguk, wincing as if he was conflicted about something.

“You sure you’re okay? You can talk to me.” Jeongguk prodded, wondering if it really was just tiredness, but still not completely convinced that it was.

“I know, Guk…but…hey, maybe tomorrow night we can work on the light painting project? We could go to Jeongdongjin Beach.”

Jeongguk’s pulse raced. A chance to be with Taehyung alone was something he could never say no to.

“Yeah, that would be great, actually.” He replied, feeling relieved.

“I’ve been kind of stressing about it ever since Professor Lee’s lecture the other day.”

Taehyung smiled for the first time since before the ball game had started, and it was like a life force to Jeongguk’s soul.

“I know it seems daunting, but I have no doubt you’ll kill it. Just bring your camera, your tripod, and a blanket and I’ll pick you up at 8pm.”

Jeongguk nodded, wanting badly to lean over and kiss Taehyung goodnight before getting out of the truck, but he held back, saying goodbye instead before heading up to Seokjin’s front door, turning to wave as Taehyung took off down the street.

But Jeongguk couldn’t help but still feel uneasy. Was Taehyung really going home to rest? Or was something else going on? Did he have other plans? Jeongguk had been pretty certain that Taehyung hadn’t been sleeping with anyone else, not for several weeks.

They had never talked about being friends with benefits exclusively, with no other people being in the mix in between their hookups. But it had seemed to be an unspoken thing that they were only sleeping with each other and no one else, because when it came down to it, Jeongguk didn’t want anyone else. He knew without a doubt that no one could ever satisfy him the way Taehyung did.

He could only hope that Taehyung felt the same.

---

“Flashlights, the key to light painting.” Taehyung said with a smile as he held up the flashlight under his chin, giving his face an eerie look from the harsh shadows.

Jeongguk sat on his blanket across from Taehyung, chuckling as he fixed his camera to his tripod.

The sun had already set and the moon was on full display in the dark sky above, spotted with bright stars, the light glinting over the waves as they crashed along the shoreline of Jeongdongjin Beach.

It wasn’t lost on Jeongguk that the whole setting was incredibly romantic, but Taehyung had explained that lots of space with few disruptive objects was needed to allow for a clean landscape for creating an interesting composition, and also to keep from having too much ambient light from ruining the photos.

Regardless, Jeongguk’s heartrate spiked at the thought of what might happen once they had gotten the assignment out of the way.

But he enjoyed every second of working on his photography with Taehyung as his own, personal teacher. And even though the light painting project seemed intimidating, Jeongguk was excited to learn how to do it while adding to his growing repertoire of photography skills.

“You can use any light source, really. You just needs something bright enough to light up your subject during the long exposure.”

Jeongguk listened as he set his camera to the manual setting before adjusting his ISO and aperture.

“I even brought these.” Taehyung said as he pulled out a bag of glow sticks from his backpack.

Jeongguk chuckled.

“Are you going to play some EDM too for our own little beach rave?”

Taehyung laughed.

“Too bad I didn’t bring any ecstasy.” He replied as he cracked one of the sticks, causing it to glow an electric blue color.

“Oh, I can give you some ecstasy.” Jeongguk said, not missing the opportunity to flirt with the man that made his heartbeat flutter continuously whenever they were together.

“Later, Gukkie…definitely later.” Taehyung’s deep, seductive voice murmured as he cracked another stick that turned a neon orange.

Jeongguk set his shutter speed for ten seconds and watched as Taehyung jumped around in front of the camera, waving the glow sticks in circles, the moonlight shining down on his mint hair like a tender caress from the heavens.

“Okay! Let’s see how it turned out.” Taehyung said a handful of seconds later, coming back over to stand next to Jeongguk as he switched to the LCD screen.

“Hmm, kind of dark. Should we try 20 seconds?” Jeongguk asked.

Taehyung nodded.

“Good call.”

The two worked for the next hour, lighting up the water with a flashlight as it rushed up the sand, leaving a foamy trail behind. Collecting seaweed and shells, lighting them with glow sticks and a cigarette lighter before waving the glow sticks around again along the beach, both of them making club music sounds while they danced along the sand, laughing at how ridiculous they probably looked to anyone that might be passing by.

“The photos really do look like paintings, but with something kind of strange about them.” Jeongguk sighed as he scrolled through each shot, amazed at how dreamy and ethereal the photos he had taken looked once he’d gotten the hang of how to control the camera settings.

“It’s pretty fun, huh? A lot more work than what you typically do with a camera, but worth it when you see how the photos turn out.” Taehyung replied, taking a seat on the blanket next to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk nodded as he put his camera down next to him and looked over at Taehyung, whose eyes were now glued to his own camera while Jeongguk watched him.

The moon was bright enough in the sky now so that Jeongguk could see the soft smile on Taehyung’s face, the way his hair fluttered lightly in the breeze, his soft skin glowing like a living statue.

Jeongguk leaned in close to him, closing his eyes as his lips met the warm skin of Taehyung’s cheek.

His lips skated along to Taehyung’s earlobe, nipping it gently before kissing the spot just below, eliciting a quiet sigh from Taehyung.

“Have you ever had sex on the beach?” Jeongguk murmured in Taehyung’s ear before peppering kisses down his neck.

Taehyung chuckled.

“No.”

In an instant, Jeongguk had Taehyung on his back, his body covering him, pinning Taehyung to his blanket as Jeongguk claimed his mouth with his own.

Jeongguk’s face was in Taehyung’s hands as Jeongguk began to unbutton Taehyung’s jeans.

The two made quick work of getting rid of their clothes before pulling Jeongguk’s blanket over them to keep out the chill of the clear November night.

The fact that it wasn’t raining for once had felt like a gift from the universe.

“Oh…Jeonggukie…” Taehyung sighed as Jeongguk’s hand palmed Taehyung’s solid cock, his mouth attached to Tae’s ridiculously sexy neck.

Jeongguk pulled back, wanting to gaze at that face he knew so well, the flush that he knew was on Taehyung’s cheeks, his red lips, his half-mast eyes.

“You’re so gorgeous…” Jeongguk sighed as Taehyung’s hand reached out and cupped the side of Jeongguk’s cheek, a groan escaping his lips as Jeongguk hesitated briefly before pushing himself inside of the man he loved more than anything else in the world.

“Come here.” Taehyung panted as Jeongguk began to rock his hips, his other hand snaking behind Jeongguk’s neck, pulling him down to his mouth.

The kiss that followed was one of those kisses that you remembered for the rest of your life, the connection forged with such totality from the warm slide of Taehyung’s devastating lips on his own, that Jeongguk knew it would be etched into his mind forever.

Jeongguk eagerly welcomed Taehyung’s tongue as it entered him again and again, kissing him back with such ferocity that Jeongguk wondered if he would even have to tell Taehyung he loved him, because this kiss could explain everything more than words ever could.

Taehyung lips brushed softly against Jeongguk’s before kissing him again, their lips lingering as they stayed pressed together, all the while Jeongguk’s hips continued to thrust and retreat like a piston, soft moans carried away by the cool, beachy breeze.

And then Jeongguk was coming hard, his eyes squeezing shut, his body stilled, grunting as his release took over. He pulled out of Taehyung and dragged his lips down his body until he’d found Taehyung’s throbbing erection, already slick with precum, and took it into his mouth, his hand gripping the base as a sharp yelp from Taehyung broke out into the night.

“Ah…fuck…” Taehyung growled, his hands suddenly fisting into Jeongguk’s hair, his thighs clenching, his pelvis rolling, his lower belly so lean that every minute shift of his torso was reflected under his taut, golden skin.

Jeongguk was breathless at the sight.

“Gukkie…please…” Taehyung groaned.

Jeongguk had been so caught up in staring at Taehyung’s incredible body that he had almost forgotten that he had a job he very much wanted to do, and do well.

He smirked, liking the desperate sounds Taehyung was making before he licked up his length, popping the head into his mouth, sucking hard, his hand working in unison until Taehyung was gripping the blanket, his hips bucking hard as he came into Jeongguk’s warm, wet mouth.

Jeongguk crawled back up to Taehyung, pressing a reverent kiss to Taehyung’s lips, the contact no heavier than the crisp, night air. It was the consummate lover’s kiss, the kind that made Jeongguk’s heart race faster than the incredible sex they’d just had.

Lying facing each other, their mouths met again gently, and then once more just like the waves that rolled, splashing against the shore in its never-ending dance.

“I’m sorry about last night.” Taehyung whispered as his eyes met Jeongguk’s.

“What for?” Jeongguk asked, confused.

“The way I left. I was tired, yes. But…I was also really…jealous, and I didn’t want to tell you.”

Jeongguk propped himself up on his elbow as he gazed at Taehyung.

“Jealous of what?” He asked, not sure what in the world could ever make someone like Tae jealous.

Taehyung let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Of the way you were sitting with Migyung at the game.”

He sighed before continuing.

“I know I’m being annoying but…I didn’t like it. I didn’t like seeing you with someone else.”

Jeongguk’s heart skipped, his pulse ticking rapidly at Taehyung’s admission.

“Why?” Jeongguk asked, silently begging for Taehyung to tell him what was going on inside his heart.

But instead of answering, Taehyung sat up, nudging Jeongguk’s thighs apart to make room for his long, lean body.

He bent down until lips like silk were suddenly kissing down the column of Jeongguk’s neck, lapping and sucking as Jeongguk moaned at the erotic pleasure of Taehyung’s mouth.

Jeongguk’s body responded immediately, his cock thickening as it stroked itself against Taehyung’s pelvis.

He could feel the blood roaring in his ears from anticipation, his heart battering around so hard inside his chest that he hoped with every ounce in his being that it wouldn’t give out on him before his next orgasm.

Nothing had ever felt this good before, and nothing likely ever would again.

“Oh…fuck!” The two shouted in unison once Taehyung plunged inside, stretching Jeongguk with a pain and possession that was intoxicatingly good.

Taehyung pumped relentlessly, deeper and deeper, faster and faster, the breath hammering out of Jeongguk as he gazed up at Taehyung, his face dark while the moonlight shone from above, his body a silhouette against the star-filled sky.

Jeongguk cupped Tae’s face in his hands, his thumb grazing Taehyung’s soft, bottom lip, his breath hot from deep, sexy groans. The sound making Jeongguk’s cock throb.

“Don’t stop, Tae…” Jeongguk sighed as his hands dropped to Taehyung’s shoulders, bucking his hips to receive more, to feel him go deeper.

“Mmhh…fuck…you feel so good, Guk…”

Jeongguk smirked, his hands sliding down the sides of Taehyung’s body until they were gripping his waist, loving every second of being filled by Taehyung.

Neither of them were the least bit worried about being heard or seen by anyone else that might be wandering the beaches. All they could focus on was each other, the undeniably daring sex, unhurried as Taehyung suddenly slowed his pace, his hips rolling like the waves of the ocean.

“Oh…damn…” Jeongguk moaned breathlessly as he grabbed Taehyung’s ass, causing a low chuckle to escape Taehyung’s throat.

“Fuck…I’m…going to come…”

Taehyung’s body shook as his orgasm shot through him, his hand on Jeongguk’s cock before pulling out and replacing his hand with his mouth.

“Oh shit…” Jeongguk hissed as Taehyung sucked him, pulling to the top, letting go and licking his lips before Jeongguk’s cock disappeared into his mouth again.

It was the most beautiful image Jeongguk had ever seen, and it was only a matter of moments before Jeongguk was coming hard, his hands in Taehyung’s hair, his back arching off the blanket.

The two lay in a breathless heap, their bodies limp, wrapped around each other, hot breath on their necks and chests, their foreheads pressed together.

Taehyung’s eyes gleamed under heavy lids as they found Jeongguk’s, his mouth curled in a smirk of satisfaction.

They gazed at each other, saying nothing, both exhausted but content.

Jeongguk turned onto his side, his back to Taehyung as Taehyung’s arm wound around his waist, kissing the back of Jeongguk’s shoulder as his body stretched out behind him.

Taehyung took a deep breath, and Jeongguk smiled to himself knowing that Taehyung would be asleep in a matter of minutes.

So Jeongguk closed his eyes too, threading his fingers through Taehyung’s, forming a seal of their hands, letting the sound of the ocean lull him to sleep, his heart screaming with all the things that he couldn’t stop from feeling.

And he dreamed of all the words that he would have to say once the sun came up.

To be continued…

Chapter Text

“Gukkie…look.”

Jeongguk stirred at the sound of Taehyung’s deep, sleepy voice.

His back ached, but he wasn’t sure if it was from the sleep on the beach or from the hours of sex the night before. Nevertheless, it was the best kind of ache as he slowly opened his eyes and saw Taehyung’s stunning profile as he sat on the blanket gazing towards the east, the dim light of dawn casting a blue glow over the bronze sand.

“The sunrise. You gotta see it.”

Jeongguk smiled as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, opening them fully just as the sun was beginning to peek out over the horizon.

Every color you could imagine blossomed, stretching outward across the skyline as the sun rose higher.

“Whoa…” Jeongguk gasped, not quite able to believe what he was seeing.

It was the most incredible sunrise imaginable, and he realized that he wasn’t sure if he had actually ever seen a sunrise before, much less one like this.

He found himself searching for his camera with his hand, not able to look away from the colors spilling out even further, in all directions, lighting up the beach, bringing morning to their little corner of the coast.

Taehyung chuckled as he handed Jeongguk’s camera to him.

“It’s a kneejerk reaction to photograph it, but it’s never the same as seeing it with your own eyes.”

Jeongguk nodded.

“I remember you saying that, but it’s like…you just can’t help it.” Jeongguk said with a laugh as he clicked a few shots.

It wasn’t long before the sun was fully up, rising higher as each minute passed. The colors still vibrant but giving way to a dazzling, blue sky.

Jeongguk and Taehyung got dressed and gathered their things before the local early risers took to their morning jogs and dog walks along the beach.

Jeongguk found himself smiling as they got in the truck, still on a high from the incredible night he had spent with Taehyung. It was a night he would never forget, and one he would play over in his mind for as long as he lived.

“I haven’t seen the sunrise at Jeongdongjin in a long time.” Taehyung said softly, a serene smile on his face as they drove back to campus.

“And I didn’t think I’d ever want to again…but seeing it with you was…” His voice trailed off as he pulled up in front of Jeongguk’s dorm, seemingly unsure if he should finish the sentence.

But it didn’t matter if he finished it or not because Jeongguk couldn’t take it anymore.

After the night they’d just had, after what Sooyun had told him, after Taehyung’s confession about being jealous, the way he had kissed Jeongguk while they had made love like he was claiming Jeongguk, possessing him in a way he never had before, it had all led to Jeongguk being unable to hold back any longer.

He had to jump, to take the risk, the cautious thoughts in his mind could no longer win out over what was going on inside his heart.

“Tae...I need…I have to tell you something.”

Taehyung put the truck in park as he looked over at Jeongguk, concern on his face at the alarm in his voice.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, turning in his seat so he was facing Jeongguk.

Jeongguk swallowed hard, his eyes fixed on Taehyung. This was it.

“Nothing’s wrong…it’s just that…there’s something that…fuck…”

For a brief moment Jeongguk wanted to back out, to forget it, to just let things be the way they were. But he was so close, so close to just saying it.

He took a deep breath and jumped.

“Taehyung, I’m in love with you.”

The words tumbled out quickly, but Jeongguk paused only long enough to take another deep breath, propelling him to keep going.

“And…maybe you already knew that, or maybe you didn’t, and maybe this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but I can’t keep trying to pretend how I feel doesn’t exist.”

Taehyung’s eyes widened as he suddenly turned and gripped the steering wheel, staring straight ahead.

“How…how could you even know that for sure? You said you’ve never been in love before.”

Jeongguk’s heart sank. Even though he had tried his best to anticipate Taehyung’s reaction, it still hurt to see how upset Tae seemed to be by the confession.

“I never have been…until now. I know how I feel, Tae. I know that I love you.”

Taehyung rubbed his face with his hands, clearly frustrated.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen, Guk. We had a deal.”

Jeongguk scoffed.

“A deal? Fuck, Tae, you act like we signed some kind of fucking contract. I know we both didn’t think this would happen, it wasn’t in the plan. But can you honestly sit there and tell me you don’t feel something too?”

Taehyung crossed his arms and sighed heavily, but he still wouldn’t look at Jeongguk.

“No, Guk…I can’t tell you that because you’re right, I do feel something, and I could never lie to you about something like that. But regardless of my feelings for you…I can’t do this. I can’t…I can’t be with you in the way you want.”

Jeongguk gulped, not wanting to cry at the pained look on Taehyung’s face, or how the worst case scenario was the actual scenario taking place at that moment.

“The only thing I wanted was to tell you how I felt, because it didn’t feel right keeping this from you. But I’m not asking you for anything, Tae.”

Taehyung nodded.

“I understand…but that doesn’t mean things can stay the same. They can’t…because the lines will get blurry, and that isn’t fair to you.”

Jeongguk shook his head, anger and sorrow filling his chest, hot tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

“The lines have been blurry for a while now. You know it just as well as I do.” He replied, his jaw clenching as he tried to not fall apart.

The last thing he wanted was to see Taehyung wear that guilt-ridden look on his face, the one that he’d had the night Sooyun had admitted her own feelings towards the mint-haired object of their affection.

“Jeongguk, you can’t tell me that you’re in love with me and then expect me to be okay with fucking you knowing that I can’t give you everything you deserve. That’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me.”

Jeongguk sighed as tears began to slide down his cheeks. He knew Taehyung was right, and if it didn’t hurt so much, he might have actually commended him for his noble integrity. But in that moment, all he wanted to do was take back everything he had said, because everything was different now, and not in the way Jeongguk had hoped.

“So, you’re not even going to think about it? About being together?” Jeongguk asked, desperate to find a way to turn this around, to somehow convince Taehyung to explore his feelings, to open up to him, to understand that he wasn’t Hae-Won, that he wouldn’t do the things she did to him.

“I’ve thought about it, Guk…I’ve thought about it a lot. And yeah, I’m fucking scared shitless. Call me a coward, but I…I just don’t think I can do it.”

Jeongguk nodded, but said nothing else as he gathered his things and got out of the truck, not looking back as he slammed the door shut.

It wasn’t until he heard the truck start up and drive off that he finally allowed the tears to fall at full force, keeping his head down until he was in the privacy of his bedroom, where he could bury his face in his pillow until he fell asleep.

---

It was early evening when Jeongguk heard a light tap on his door.

“Gukkie? I made you some ramen.”

The sound of Jimin’s voice was so comforting and kind that Jeongguk could feel the tears threatening to make another appearance.

“I’m not hungry.” Jeongguk called out, pulling his blanket back over his head.

But Jimin entered the room anyway and sat the steaming bowl on the bedside table.

“Tae called me. He’s a mess, but I refuse to make him ramen too.”

Jeongguk chuckled, thankful for Jimin’s ability to make him laugh when he needed it most.

“This fucking sucks, Jiminie.” Jeongguk groaned, smelling the soup but not wanting even one bite of it.

He had absolutely no appetite when his heart was in pieces.

Jimin sighed.

“I know, and it pisses me off. He’s being such a dumbass and all because he thinks he can protect his heart by denying it the one thing it needs most.”

Jeongguk was angry too, but for so many reasons, and not just at Taehyung, but at himself too, because now he understood what it felt like to hurt like this, which was exactly how he had made so many people in his past feel.

“He’s afraid of being hurt, and I understand that now. And I know I can’t promise him that I won’t ever hurt him, but I sure as hell would have tried my hardest not to.”

Jimin nodded.

“I know that, Gukkie. And deep down, he knows it too.”

But still, over the next week, Jeongguk heard nothing from Taehyung. He hadn’t even been in the office during photography class, but at least Professor Lee had praised Jeongguk’s light painting photos, even though looking at them now made Jeongguk sick to his stomach, the heartache he was feeling so awful that he wanted to throw-up.

“We’re not hanging out anymore. We’re not talking. It’s like…nothing between us…ever existed.” Jeongguk slurred before taking a long sip of his 5^th or 6^th soju, he wasn’t sure since he’d lost count.

“He misses you though. He said it to Hobi the other day, and Jin says he looks fucking terrible.” Joon-Yi replied as they sat on Seokjin’s couch during the party Seokjin had thrown for Jeongguk, all in an effort to cheer him up.

“Psssh...I don’t believe that for a second. Taehyungie never looks terrible. Even first thing in the morning, his hair is still so soft, and his sleepy eyes are so insanely adorable and fuck…my…life…” He groaned as he lay his head back against the sofa, wincing as he closed his eyes.

“I need another drink…something a lot fucking stronger.”

But Joon-Yi shook her head as she took the soju bottle from Jeongguk’s hand and set it on the coffee table.

“Well, I think you need some sleep. Hobi and I will take you home.”

As badly as Jeongguk wanted to drink himself into oblivion, to somehow alleviate the pain in his chest, he was thankful for the ride from Joon-Yi and Hobi once he was back in his room, ready to sleep off how blitzed he was as he lay in his bed. Hoping his dreams weren’t as dreadful as his actual life.

The following week wasn’t much better, but at least Jeongguk was beginning to get used to the constant phantom pain of something missing, and Taehyung was no longer avoiding him.

Granted, Taehyung had kept his back turned when he’d been in the photography office, but had smiled weakly at Jeongguk when he’d passed by him in the hallway on a different day.

And Jeongguk could have sworn he had seen a glimpse of mint-green hair by the end of the bleachers on the soccer field during practice on another day.

Regardless, Taehyung had kept his distance and Jeongguk was drowning his sorrows in alcohol and weed.

“Guk, you gotta stop burning through my stash so fast, man.” Yoongi said one night while he, Jimin, and Hobi sat around the dorm living room eating kimbap and playing StarCraft.

“Oh lay off, Min, can’t you see this man’s heart is in shreds?” Jimin said as he threw a piece of cucumber at his man.

“I still don’t get it. What the hell is Tae’s deal?” Hoseok asked, confusion covering his face.

Jeongguk shrugged.

“Apparently he’s scared. Scared that he’ll get hurt because of what his ex did, and scared because of my track record with losing interest. But I don’t think he understands that it’s different for me this time.” Jeongguk sighed, wishing Taehyung had trusted him more, but understanding why he hadn’t.

“I’ve felt this way about him for weeks and it’s not going away. I’m in love and miserable, and to the point that I almost want to call up every single one of my ex’s and apologize. I get it now…and it’s the fucking worst.”

Yoongi shook his head, clearly disappointed in the situation as a whole.

“I think Tae is still in shellshock from the three years of bullshit drama he put up with from Hae. And he didn’t expect to fall for you, Guk, and vice versa.” Yoongi said as he exhaled a billowy cloud of smoke.

“I understand his logic, but I also think he’s being an idiot.”

Jimin nodded in agreement.

“And the thing is, I honestly think he’s going to have a rude awakening sooner than later.”

Jeongguk didn’t know whether to believe that or not. Even knowing that Taehyung had feelings for him hadn’t been enough to quell the ache in his heart. He was in the doldrums and he had no idea if he’d ever get out.

And it didn’t help that when Friday night rolled around, Jimin gave him a solemn look when he let Jeongguk know he was heading out to go to Taehyung’s scrimmage game.

“You sure you don’t want to come along?” He asked as he leaned against the doorjamb, watching Jeongguk working on his latest painting for class.

Jeongguk shook his head. He couldn’t stand the thought of watching Taehyung playing out on that field and knowing he wouldn’t get to run his hands over those smooth, firm muscles later that night once they were alone, so hot for each other that clothes would be ripped and lips would be bitten, their bodies skin-on-skin until the early morning hours.

No, he would save himself the agony and just stay home, throwing himself into his schoolwork the way he’d been doing for the past couple of days before allowing himself a break to drink as many beers as he wanted after scarfing down a pizza.

But surprisingly, it had only taken one six-pack before Jeongguk was sufficiently drunk and lying on his bed while The 1975’s “Somebody Else” played over his Bluetooth speaker, just the sort of melancholy melody he needed to help lull him to sleep.

And when his phone suddenly buzzed with a text, he was sure it was just Jimin checking on him, so he grabbed the phone to quickly shoot a text back, until he saw who the text had actually come from.

 - I’m sorry, Gu k i’m drunk but i miss you aand im sorry

Jeongguk blinked his eyes, having difficulty reading Taehyung’s drunk text while Jeongguk was drunk himself.

 - I mis you too

Jeongguk texted back, his eyes heavy with exhaustion, the week of sorrow and regret having taken its toll on him.

 - Can we try anf be freinds?

Jeongguk’s heart slammed in his chest when he’d read Taehyung’s text. Was it really possible that he could have his friend back? He hoped like hell he could. He had never missed anyone the way he missed Kim Taehyung.

 - Yes tae.

 - I want to tryy

Jeongguk replied before finally giving into sleep, his dreams still giving him a fitful night of tossing and turning, but at least there was some hope now.

---

It hurt too much. Trying to just be friends, trying to ignore the throb of his heart as Taehyung waved at him from the photography office as Jeongguk went to take his seat for class was absolutely agonizing.

Why did he think this could work?

“You two make up?” Joon-Yi asked, noticing the exchange as Jeongguk sat down.

“Booze and texting is never a good idea. How have I not learned this before?” Jeongguk asked as he shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

Joon-Yi chuckled.

“Because you’ve never been in love and then been hurt by it before. Love makes us do crazy things, Jeonggukie.”

Jeongguk couldn’t agree more, because he had been completely thrown by Taehyung’s text, not having expected to hear from him, but elated that Taehyung had missed him.

And he had convinced himself that he could handle being just friends and nothing more and it would be fine.

“Hey, Guk.”

Jeongguk had thought he’d made a clean getaway out of his photography class once it had ended, but Taehyung had caught him right outside the doors.

“What’s up?” Jeongguk asked casually as he turned around, avoiding Taehyung’s eyes and instead concentrating on the red, neon exit sign on the wall right above his head.

“Um…how are you?” He asked nervously, his eyes hidden by the bill of his ball cap.

Jeongguk sucked in a breath, his hands in his pockets as he kept his eyes on that lifeline in the form of an exit sign.

“I’m…I’m good…just…concentrating on school and soccer and work.”

But it was a lie. He wasn’t good at all, because his heart was still broken.

“You going to the annual athlete’s banquet on Saturday?” Taehyung asked, a hopeful sound in his voice.

Jeongguk had almost forgotten about the special event held only for the athletes of Odaesan University, but he had received his invitation the day before he and Taehyung had gone to Jeongdongjin Beach, the invitation suggesting that each athlete bring a date, but Jeongguk had only had one person in mind that he had wanted to go with.

“Uh, yeah…the whole soccer team is going so…I’ll be there. You?”

Taehyung nodded.

“Same…so, I guess I’ll see you there.”

The awkwardness between them was fucking horrendous, but fortunately Jeongguk had a way out of it when he told Taehyung he’d see him later, that he had to get going or he’d be late for stats.

And he needed to get to the class quickly because he didn’t have a date for the banquet yet, and he needed to get one as soon as possible.

---

“You look great, by the way. Thank you for coming on such short notice.” Jeongguk said as he opened the passenger side door of Joon-Yi’s car for his date.

Joon-Yi had let him borrow her car so that he could attend the athletes banquet with Misha, the girl from his stats class that he had at one time considered asking out, back before he’d fallen head over heels for Taehyung.

Misha smiled graciously at the compliment.

“Thank you for asking me. It’s every girls dream to be surrounded by all those hot athletes for a whole evening.” She replied as she climbed in, straightening her dark, purple dress as Jeongguk shut the door and walked around to the other side.

Normally, a comment like that from his date would have been a red flag, but fortunately, Jeongguk wasn’t the least bit interested in pursuing anything with Misha. He’d needed a date, she was doing him a favor, and that’s all this arrangement consisted of.

The two chatted casually as they drove to the yacht club at Songjeong Beach, just like they usually did in class, with Misha telling Jeongguk more about her fashion design major and how she was the best sequin sewer in her textiles class.

She seemed perfectly content to talk about herself while Jeongguk listened, since he wasn’t as much in the mood for the chitchat, his stomach churning knowing he’d have to see Taehyung in a matter of minutes, and he’d also have to see who Taehyung had brought as his date.

Jeongguk prayed to whatever god there might be that it wouldn’t be Sooyun.

The yacht club sparkled with Christmas lights, fully decorated for the upcoming holidays, as the two exited the car and headed to the main entrance.

“Welcome! Please come in and help yourself to a complimentary glass of champagne.” One of the university administrative assistants greeted cheerily as Jeongguk and Misha made their way into the party.

It wasn’t long before Jeongguk found his teammates clustered together near a few tables that were reserved for the Odaesan soccer players.

“Jeonggukie! We have a couple seats for you over here.” His mentor, Chin-Hwa, called out as Jeongguk and Misha approached.

Jeongguk nodded, smiling as he introduced Misha, his soccer buddies nodding politely while shooting sly looks at Jeongguk for scoring such a beautiful date.

“I thought you were dating Taehyung.” Hoojee murmured quietly, out of earshot of Misha.

Jeongguk couldn’t even answer. Just the mention of Taehyung made his blood-pressure spike as he downed his glass of champagne just as another tray full of the bubbly drink passed by.

Jeongguk grabbed two, both for himself since Misha was still only halfway through her first one.

“Am I going to have to call somebody to drive your drunk ass home?”

Jeongguk turned at the sound of the familiar voice.

“Jimin? What are you doing here?” He asked, surprised but relieved to see his roommate and friend.

Jimin chuckled as he clinked his own champagne glass against Jeongguk’s, wearing a wine colored suit with a crisp, white dress shirt underneath.

“I’m Tae’s date. I’m just pissed that I wasn’t his first choice. He asked Yoongi before me. Can you believe that?”

Jeongguk sighed with relief, his body releasing the tension that had been plaguing him before he’d even arrived at the banquet. Taehyung had brought Jimin, not someone else.

“No, I can’t. How dare he.” Jeongguk replied, smiling but still with a sinking feeling in his gut knowing that Taehyung was around somewhere but not knowing how his heart would react when he saw him.

“You’re looking fucking sharp, Gukkie. I didn’t know you even owned a suit.” Jimin said as he gave Jeongguk a once over before peering at the girl standing beside him, looking impatient.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” Jeongguk stammered.

“Jimin, this is Misha. She’s in my statistics class.” Jeongguk said, realizing he had nearly forgotten about his own date.

The two shook hands and bowed, greeting each other politely just as a mint-haired god in a jet black suit walked up to where the three were standing.

Jeongguk’s heart was suddenly in his throat, his hands shaking, his knees turning to rubber.

“It’s Kim Taehyung.” Misha said with a breathy sigh, as if Jeongguk didn’t already know everything about the man, every single square inch of his striking face and delectable body.

The look on Taehyung’s face was startling, but Jeongguk knew that look. It had been the same one he’d had the night of the baseball game when Jeongguk had sat with Migyung.

Taehyung was jealous and miserable over it.

“Introduce me.” Misha seethed in Jeongguk’s ear as she nudged him in the ribs.

Jeongguk cleared his throat as he nodded at Taehyung.

“Hey.”

Taehyung nodded back.

“Hey. How are you?” He asked, his eyes staring at Jeongguk as if he could see right through him, like he knew everything Jeongguk was thinking and feeling in that moment.

“I’m good. How are you?”

Taehyung gave a crooked smile and a shrug.

“I’m okay.”

Jeongguk could hear the quiet “holy shit, you two are ridiculous” noise that Jimin made as he witnessed the tense exchange of pleasantries.

“So, Taehyung, this is Misha, Jeongguk’s date.” Jimin said as he motioned to where Misha stood, waiting for her introduction.

But Taehyung didn’t even try to fake a smile as he held out his hand and shook Misha’s, bowing only slightly.

“It’s such an honor to meet the Kim Taehyung. You’re a legend at this school.” Misha said as she gazed at Taehyung adoringly.

“Well, you know Jeonggukie here is on his way to being a legend in his own right.” Taehyung replied, not taking his eyes of off Jeongguk.

“Ha! Not if he doesn’t seriously step up his game before preseason!” Bellowed Seo-Jun, overhearing the conversation as he stood nearby.

The underclassman goalie was a constant thorn in Jeongguk’s side, and he was in no mood to deal with his bullshit when they were off the field.

“I’ve never seen a more inconsistent sweeper, not even in my days of peewee soccer!”

Jeongguk clenched his jaw, his hands forming into fists. He could tell Seo-Jun was drunk, but that didn’t make it any less annoying to hear him trash Jeongguk when they were supposed to be enjoying the banquet in their honor.

Jimin obviously sensed the tension and quickly diverted Misha away from it.

“Misha, how about I introduce you to Namjoon and Seokjin? They’re the coaches responsible for Taehyung’s killer arm.” He said as he led her over to the other side of the room where the team coaches were all busy getting plastered off the free cocktails.

Jeongguk noticed Taehyung glaring at Seo-Jun, his face like stone and scary as hell.

“How did you even get a spot on the team? Whose dick did you suck? Because we all know how much you love the cock.”

The smug look on Seo-Jun’s face before he downed the rest of his drink was enough to make Jeongguk decide to call it a night as Yeonjin, the team captain, walked up and tried to guide Seo-Jun away from the intimidating stance Taehyung held, looking as if he was ready to pounce at any second.

It was obvious all of the athletes at Odaesan had a deep, collective respect for the baseball star and didn’t want to get on his bad side. Taehyung had the power to sink any player from any of the teams if he wanted to. None of the coaches would cross him or Coach Han. All it would take was one word from Tae and an athlete’s career would be over.

“Uh…hey, Guk. Hey, Tae. I’m sorry, Seo is drunk and being an idiot. Please don’t listen to him.”

But Seo-Jun wriggled out of Yeonjin’s grasp before getting right up into Jeongguk’s face, poking him in the chest as he spoke.

“You’re just a piece of trash from Busan who sucks at playing ball while sucking Taehyung’s balls.”

That was all it had taken for Jeongguk to lose his temper as he shoved Seo-Jun, causing him to stumble backwards. And he would have fallen right there onto the floor if Taehyung hadn’t suddenly grabbed Seo-Jun by the front of his dress shirt before he could, pulling him back up so he could connect his fist to Seo-Jun’s face.

The sound of fist hitting flesh caused a sudden hush to fall over the entire banquet room. And in a flash, Seo-Jun was lying flat on the floor while several of the soccer players scrambled to help him.

Taehyung lunged forward, ready to pull the goalie back to his feet only to hit him again, but not before Seokjin and Namjoon had descended on him, pulling him back and away from the injured soccer player.

Jeongguk was so stunned by everything he had just witnessed that he didn’t even know what he should do.

“Jeon! What the hell is going on?” Coach Yang shouted from across the room.

But Yeonjin held up his hand, letting Jeongguk know he would handle everything as he quickly jogged over to their furious looking coach.

Jeongguk looked over to see Jimin, Misha, Namjoon and Seokjin practically dragging a feral looking Taehyung outside and away from the rest of the party.

Jeongguk looked down at Seo-Jun as he sat on the floor, holding his nose with a bloody handkerchief, some of his teammates congratulating Jeongguk for putting Seo-Jun in his place, though Jeongguk didn’t feel the least bit good about any of what had gone down.

Maybe Seo-Jun had deserved to be hit, but not here at the banquet and not by Taehyung. Jeongguk was pissed.

“Are you drunk? What the fuck, Tae?” Jeongguk shouted angrily once he’d joined the group outside in the parking lot, hanging out by Taehyung’s truck.

“He was being a dick to you, Guk!” Taehyung replied, eyes still wild with adrenaline, Seokjin and Namjoon still holding onto his shoulders to try and still their friend.

“Yes, to me. He was being a dick to me, so why not let me handle it?”

Taehyung opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it.

“Do you know how much trouble I’m going to be in if Seo-Jun’s nose is broken and has to sit out on practice?” Jeongguk asked, still fuming, his mind ablaze with how fucked he was going to be with the rest of his team.

“You shoved him, Guk. And he deserved it. I was just trying to help, to make sure he doesn’t ever try to fuck with you again.”

Jeongguk barely noticed as Seokjin, Namjoon, Jimin and Misha stepped away, allowing some space for Jeongguk and Taehyung to talk.

“Why? Why were you trying to help? Why was hitting him a way for you to help?” Jeongguk asked, his eyes trained on Taehyung, daring him to get honest.

Taehyung sighed as he looked up at the night sky, his hands on his hips, his breathing heavy as if he still hadn’t recovered from the scuffle inside.

“I was…I wasn’t thinking. I just…I didn’t like hearing him talk to you like that.”

Jeongguk shook his head.

“It’s just talk. It’s just how guys talk. You should know that.”

Taehyung lowered his head, his eyes suddenly on Jeongguk, those dark eyes penetrating and grave.

“No one should ever talk to you like that. Ever.” He practically growled, his tone so resolute and protective that a wave of desire lit up every single nerve in Jeongguk’s entire body.

But he had to tamper it down, ignore it, pretend it wasn’t there. This was serious, and he couldn’t allow himself to be distracted by how effortlessly hot and sweet Taehyung could always be.

“It’s really none of your business though, is it? You’re not my boyfriend, you’re barely even my friend these days.” Jeongguk shot back.

He didn’t wait for Taehyung’s reply before turning on his heel, walking directly over to where Misha was chatting with his friends, ready to just take her home and call it a night.

“And what is she to you? Is she just your friend or is it more? Have you already moved on that quickly? Was your confession in my truck just a load of shit that meant nothing?” Taehyung called out to him, each question like a punch to the gut.

Jeongguk stopped in his tracks, unable to ignore the anguish in Taehyung’s voice, but also in disbelief over what he’d just had the nerve to say.

He turned around slowly, his somber gaze landing on Taehyung, the pain in his chest rising up so rapidly that he could already feel tears stinging in his eyes.

Did Taehyung not know him at all? After all the time they had spent together? Could he really not see just how true Jeongguk’s feelings were? Could he really believe Jeongguk was that shallow and insensitive?

It was all he could do to even respond.

“You know, I’ve always thought of you as such a kind, good person, Kim Taehyung. But that…you asking me that…it’s fucking cruel.” He finally managed to reply, his voice shaky as he spoke.

“You just keep breaking my heart. Don’t you?”

Jeongguk didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he had left with Misha in tow as they headed over to where Joon-Yi’s car was parked.

Taehyung hadn’t said anything else, hadn’t tried to say he was sorry or stop Jeongguk from leaving. And the finality of it was beyond painful.

Jeongguk apologized to Misha for all the stupid boy drama, but he hadn’t even heard a word she spoke as he drove her back to her dorm, unable to forget what Taehyung had said and how he had said it. Unable to forget the way Taehyung had turned what should have been a highlight in Jeongguk’s first semester at Odaesan into a complete disaster.

Regardless, he still loved the man irrevocably.

And as he dropped Misha off, he finally listened when she looked at him, smiling softly.

“I hope you two work things out.”

Jeongguk had thanked her, had apologized again, and promised to make it up to her by helping her study for the next stats test.

But he didn’t feel any more at peace later that night as he lay down in bed, sober for the first time in weeks, hoping with all the hope he could muster that his shattered heart would begin to heal sooner than later.

---

- I’m so sorry, Guk

The handful of texts Taehyung sent to Jeongguk over the following week went unanswered.

Jeongguk wasn’t sure what Taehyung was even sorry about.

Was he sorry for punching Seo-Jun? Was he sorry about getting Jeongguk in enough trouble that Coach Yang had told him he was suspended from the team until after the holiday break? Was he sorry for assuming that Jeongguk had already moved on with Misha? Or was he sorry for acting as if Jeongguk’s admission of love was just some bullshit that meant nothing?

It didn’t matter, because things were so messed up now that Jeongguk wasn’t sure that they two of them would even be able to get a friendship back on track, let alone anything else.

But his heart still belonged to Taehyung, his dreams still haunted by that incredibly gorgeous face and mint hair, able to feel those magical hands all over his body until he would wake up with his heart battering around in his chest, his body soaked with sweat.

“You going home for Christmas?” Jimin asked as the two sat on their couch playing video games, eating popcorn and drinking sodas.

The two roommates had opted for having a sober night in, and it was just what Jeongguk had needed.

“Yeah, I’m leaving on the 20th, right after class.” Jeongguk had replied, sighing at the thought of having to go home for two weeks, the distance between him and Taehyung made even bigger by how far they would be from each other with Jeongguk in Busan and Taehyung in Daegu.

Not that it should matter, but for whatever reason, it did.

“We could rent a car together, if you want. I know it’s a few weeks away, but think about it.” Jimin suggested.

And Jeongguk liked the thought. Having Jimin with him on the ride back home actually sounded nice, and would make the trip a lot less depressing.

“No, that sounds great, man. We could totally do that.” Jeongguk replied.

“Or, you know, you could have Taehyung drive you. Maybe the ride would do you both some good.”

Jeongguk looked over at Jimin, giving him an irritated scowl.

“Not going to happen. Besides, Busan would be way out of his way.”

Jimin shook his head, smiling that sly smile.

“He would go out of his way for you, Gukkie. That boy is head over heels.” He replied as he downed the rest of his soda.

“I mean, the way he punched that soccer dude? The way he’s been blowing up my phone asking how you’re doing and if you hate him? Yeah, he is completely at your mercy.”

But Jeongguk shrugged.

“Does it really even matter if he’s not willing to even give me a chance? He basically thinks I was fucking with him when I told him that I love him.”

Jimin nodded thoughtfully.

“Yeah, I know, but you have to understand that it’s just Taehyung’s insecurities that are making him overly cautious. And yes, Taehyungie does have insecurities. We all do. But with him, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him as happy as he is when he’s with you. He’s been so worried about losing all of that, and yet didn’t seem to realize that he’s already lost it by not trusting you and pushing you away. Honestly though, I think he’s starting to finally get real with himself. The guy is not doing well.”

Jeongguk didn’t know what to think of everything Jimin had said. He couldn’t go on possibilities and theories. He couldn’t go on apologies by text and third party inquiries.

At this point, it would have to take something big to change Jeongguk’s mind. Because as far as he was concerned, Taehyung was too far out of his reach and getting further as each day passed.

---

Jeongguk skipped photography class, instead opting to finish his 3D design project, which was a small wire sculpture of a toreador riding a bull.

He’d been working on it for a few days even though it wasn’t due until right before Christmas break, but Jeongguk decided to try and finish the project while avoiding Taehyung in the process.

“He literally looked like a lost puppy.” Joon-Yi said as she collapsed onto Jeongguk’s bed.

She had come by after her classes were over to fill Jeongguk in on what he’d missed in photography, handing him the notes as she gave him a discerning look.

“It was sad, Guk.”

Jeongguk shrugged.

“Am I supposed to feel bad? He’s the one who broke my heart, don’t you remember? Total rejection in the cab of his pickup truck. And then he basically tells me that I didn’t mean any of it after fracturing the nose of my teammate which got me temporarily suspended.”

Joon-Yi rolled her eyes, sighing.

“Okay, okay, I get it. But you’re taking a lot of that completely out of context all because you’re trying to get over him.” She said, making a good point, though Jeongguk hated to admit it.

Jeongguk sighed.

“That’s…that’s probably true, yes. But what am I supposed to do, Joonie? He doesn’t want to be with me, and being just friends just doesn’t seem possible right now. Not when I’ve been with him the way I’ve been with him.”

Joon-Yi chuckled.

“Please, spare me the details.” She replied.

“But I saw the look on his face, Gukkie. He is miserable. I think…I think he just needs a little nudge to get him on the right track. I think he’s just a little lost over what to do.”

Jeongguk shook his head, not having any solutions, and not wanting to do anything to push Taehyung if he didn’t want to be pushed.

“I honestly don’t know what Taehyung needs, and I’m not going to bother him about it. And you better not either.” Jeongguk said as he pointed a finger at her, already aware that she was likely conjuring up an idea.

Joon-Yi smiled, but said nothing as she motioned to her notebook in Jeongguk’s hand.

“You can get the notes back to me next class. If you don’t decide to be a chicken and not show up.”

---

But Jeongguk was a chicken, and ended up submitting his infrared photography assignment photos through email to Professor Lee, apologizing for not being in class due to coming down with a case of the flu. He hated to lie, but he had justified it anyway.

It had been strange and sad to work on a photo assignment without Taehyung. Going alone to the lake where Jeongguk had decided to take his shots hadn’t felt right, hadn’t been as fun and exciting.

Even though Jeongguk had become fairly comfortable with his camera and his growing ability in taking photos, he also missed Taehyung’s trained eye, his knowledge, his encouragement, his way of looking at things in a different way.

And it wasn’t only that, Jeongguk missed everything about Taehyung.

He missed Taehyung’s full body laugh and his deep, seductive voice. He missed Taehyung’s long, spindly fingers that held everything they touched with such refuge and vitality, especially the way they held Jeongguk. His missed Taehyung’s smoldering gaze, the intensity in his eyes when he was turned on or serious about something, but the playful sparkle when he was happy and laughing.

Jeongguk missed all the times Taehyung would let him in, opening up the parts of himself that he kept locked up so tightly to everyone else. The way he would listen, so focused on what Jeongguk had to say before offering advice, never pushing his own motives.

He missed the way Taehyung would talk about all the things that captivated his thoughts as the two would lay in bed right before sleep took hold. The random thoughts allowing Jeongguk a peek inside Taehyung’s creative, curious mind.

Jeongguk even missed the way Taehyung would slurp his noodles when they would eat japchae. The way he would rub his cold feet against Jeongguk’s legs when they would be in bed. The way Taehyung would get too drunk and bite Jeongguk’s ear, letting him now he was ready to go somewhere more private for the remainder of the night.

Missing Taehyung would never get easier, Jeongguk had reconciled with that fact. He missed him constantly, to the point that he had somehow made amends with the empty feeling in his soul. He wasn’t sure he’d even be able to love anyone other than Kim Taehyung.

The thought was both sad and amazing, and all because Jeongguk had finally fallen in love, had finally known what it had felt like, only to not be able to experience some of the most wonderful parts of it. To have his heart feel so full only to be crushed.

He had even called his brother, Junghyun, and reminded him of their conversation not even two years earlier, when Junghyun had insisted that someday his little brother would fall in love and he would look back and laugh at the time when he’d thought he never would.

“I’m not laughing, hyung.” Jeongguk had said.

Junghyun had sighed.

“Unfortunately, Gukkie, that’s the downside of love. The torment of loving someone that you can’t have. But that doesn’t mean all is lost. The greatest thing about love is that it even exists in the first place, even if it doesn’t always go the way we might have hoped it would.”

There had been something about Junghyun’s words that had actually been comforting, and Jeongguk was grateful for it.

Maybe he would get over Taehyung someday, and maybe he wouldn’t, but whatever the outcome, Jeongguk was thankful that the first person he had fallen in love with was someone as incredible as Taehyung. Because despite what had happened at the athlete banquet, Taehyung was still the most remarkable person he had ever known, and would ever know.

---

 - Are you going to avoid me forever?

It was late at night when Jeongguk’s phone buzzed with the very coherent text from Taehyung, which meant he must be alone and not under the influence.

Jeongguk had been at a party with Misha, and although her group of friends had been nice, he’d still been bored out of his skull by them.

The two weren’t dating, not at all, but Jeongguk had been tired of sitting around his dorm room all week avoiding any possible run-in’s with Taehyung. Not just because he had decided it was easier to be mad at Taehyung than hurt by him, but also because he was trying his hand at getting over the photography TA.

But it was a futile attempt. There would be no getting over the mint-haired devil anytime soon.

Even with very persistent invites from his friends, Jeongguk hadn’t wanted to go to the scrimmage after party at Seokjin’s, nor the soccer team party at Chin-Hwa’s. Too many bad vibes he hadn’t wanted to deal with, which was how he’d ended up settling for Misha’s casual invite to the party hosted by one of her fashion design classmates.

 - No, only for as long as possible

Jeongguk texted back, trying to find some semblance of humor in the downturn of his life.

There had been a time when he couldn’t even fathom wanting to avoid Taehyung, but it was almost comical to think about how quickly things could change.

 - We really should talk, Guk. Will you meet me in the darkroom tomorrow night?

Jeongguk sighed, not even wanting to get into a conversation over text on why Taehyung wanted to meet in person and what he could possibly want to talk about. But when it came down to it, Jeongguk didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to clear the air, to get some closure, to maybe find a way to lighten the heavy load on his heart.

But he didn’t answer Taehyung right away, deciding he needed to be a little more numb before he succumbed to his curiosity.

 - Please, Guk? I have a lot I need to say to you. I know you don’t owe me a fucking thing, but I’m begging.

Jeongguk knocked back the fresh drink he’d just made for himself; the cold, liquid burn sliding down his throat, the lightheaded sensation that followed doing just the trick.

 - Well if you’re begging...

He replied with a chuckle to himself as Taehyung responding with several thankful hands emojis.

So the next night, no matter how badly he didn’t want to feel like the ball of nerves that he was, Jeongguk forced himself through the doors of the fine arts building, the halls empty from classes having ended already, the silence offering no comfort as Jeongguk pushed his feet to move forward down the corridor.

But before he had even made it to the end of the hallway to the film photography classroom that housed the universities only darkroom, something caught the corner of his eye.

Jeongguk looked up at the section of wall where Taehyung’s silhouette photos had been displayed only to find that the black and white silhouette photo of the girl and the birds suddenly had a pop of color, a whimsical, mysterious electric blue and green.

He stopped in front of it as his brain processed what he was actually looking at. That the photo was, in fact, no longer there. It had been replaced by Jeongguk’s painting instead.

It was surreal to see his work on the wall like that, wondering where the photo had gone. Was his painting really worthy to be placed so prominently with all of Taehyung’s amazing photos surrounding it?

“It deserves to be there. It’s an incredible piece.”

Jeongguk turned to see Taehyung standing in the hall, watching Jeongguk as he’d made the discovery.

“Did you do this?” Jeongguk asked, still thrown by the surprise.

Taehyung nodded.

“After permission from the department heads. But they all agreed it would be a great addition to the fine arts student collection.”

Jeongguk shook his head.

“You didn’t have to do this, Tae…but…thank you.”

He wasn’t sure if this was supposed to be a part of Taehyung’s need to talk to him, his way of putting action to his apology, but Jeongguk didn’t want his painting on the wall because of Taehyung’s guilt, no matter how honored he was to see it there.

“I know what you’re thinking, Guk. But this is a separate thing from you and me. There’s no ulterior motives behind it. What I really wanted to talk to you about involves something else that I need to show you.”

Jeongguk could hear the sincerity in Taehyung’s voice, and he knew Taehyung was never one to lie.

“In the darkroom?” Jeongguk asked, cocking a skeptical eyebrow at Taehyung.

Surely he wasn’t going to try to ask for forgiveness with sex. They were a bit beyond that tactic at this point.

“Just…just come see what I’m talking about.” Taehyung replied with an embarrassed chuckle.

It felt so good to hear that laugh, to see the bashful smile on Taehyung’s face, but a painful sting ripped through Jeongguk’s heart, realizing just how captivated he still was by it, how easily it still was to fall under Taehyung’s inexplicable spell.

Jeongguk followed Taehyung into the film photo class and to the doorway of the darkroom. He flicked the light on once they were inside, it’s dim glow casting an amber hue over the room.

He watched as Taehyung walked over to the dry line, where a series of photos were hanging, the look on Taehyung’s face thoughtful as he scanned over them.

“Looks like Joon-Yi has been quite busy. She took these photos and texted me to come by and see them.” He said as he motioned for Jeongguk to come closer.

“Honestly, Guk, I didn’t understand what she was trying to say at first, but then it all made sense.”

Jeongguk stepped closer to the row of photos, about a dozen of them clipped to the clothesline, and he gasped at what he saw.

They were all photos of Jeongguk and Taehyung. Photos of the two of them together, candidly, without having any idea they were being photographed.

His first instinct was to call Joon-Yi up and yell at her for meddling in his business after he had told her not to, but as he looked at each photo, his heart filled with affection for his friend, understanding exactly what she was trying to achieve.

There were photos of him and Taehyung at the baseball game, laughing about something Jeongguk couldn’t even remember at the moment. A photo of them sitting on the blanket next to each other at the beach while Taehyung had shown Jeongguk how to load the film in his camera. There were photos of them at Seokjin’s, talking quietly to each other, lost in their own world while chaos ensued around them. There was a photo of them smiling at each other at Jeongguk’s soccer practice and one of them with their arms around each other at Taehyung’s party.

They looked so happy by just being in each other’s company, and not only that, but they looked like two people so deeply in love and devoted to one another. The images were a reminder of all of the incredible times they had spent together, of the friendship they had formed, a friendship that had turned into so much more.

“I was looking at these last night when I texted you.” Taehyung said quietly as he stood next to Jeongguk, looking at the same photo of the two of them, the one where Taehyung had grabbed ahold of Jeongguk in a back hug, his face buried lovingly in Jeongguk’s neck.

“And Joon-Yi’s photos helped me to finally see what I had right in front of me. I saw what I could risk losing if I didn’t put aside my stupid fucking hang-ups and get honest with myself. As I stood here looking at each one, I was flooded with a feeling I couldn’t ignore any longer, a feeling I didn’t want to ignore any longer.

Jeongguk was brought out of his trance when Taehyung’s hand suddenly touched his cheek.

“Jeongguk…” His voice as so quiet it was almost a whisper as Jeongguk turned to look Taehyung in the eyes, his heart pounding mercilessly in his chest.

“I love you.”

Those three words. Just three simple words that had so much power behind them. Power to change someone’s whole world, to make things anew, to create something beautiful.

“I love you, Gukkie, and I’m done being an idiot. I’m so sorry for not telling you this sooner, but I want more than anything to be with you…I’ve wanted to be with you ever since the day you showed me your painting that is now hanging in the hallway.”

He paused, allowing his words to sink in as Jeongguk stood there dumbfounded.

“From the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew you were someone special. I saw you before you even knew that I had. The day Jimin was giving you a tour of the campus, I saw you. When I met you, I was so nervous, and you were so cute.” He chuckled at the memory before continuing, and Jeongguk knew he must have the biggest look of shock on his face as Taehyung spoke.

“I wanted to say yes that night at Seokjin’s party, the one where you asked me to go somewhere with you. I wanted to hang out with you, but I knew what it would lead to and I didn’t want you to be a one night hookup. I wanted to know you. And I thought I could just be your friend and it be nothing more, but that first time I kissed you, right here in this darkroom, I knew I was a goner for you.”

Taehyung took a cautious step closer, both hands cupping Jeongguk’s face now.

“I tried to be strong, to not be jealous, to not get too close, to keep my feelings buried, to not let you see how you were affecting me. I didn’t think I could ever do love again. I didn’t think I’d ever want to be in love again. But you’re so wonderful, Guk. You make me laugh, and you listen to me. You give me the best advice, you are thoughtful and sweet, talented with not just your art but with soccer and even with cooking. You make the best eggs.” He said with a chuckle, causing Jeongguk to smile as his eyes welled with tears.

“You listen to your heart and follow it, even if you are unsure, and I’m amazed by you for that. It makes me realize that I am desperate to not lose you to anyone else. You belong with me…and I belong with you. I love you Jeon Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk had stopped breathing, as if taking a breath would somehow bring him back to reality and cause this moment to disappear. But he needed to say something because Taehyung was staring at him, searching his eyes, looking for some ounce of hope that Jeongguk wasn’t going to tell him to fuck off, that he’d had his chance but lost it.

“I love you so much, Tae. I don’t want to lose you either.”

He had barely finished the sentence before Taehyung’s lips were suddenly on Jeongguk’s in a rapturous kiss that could devastate all others that had come before it.

Fucking hell Jeongguk had missed those lips, and he had a whole month’s worth of missing them that needed to be made up for.

“I love you.” Taehyung panted in between breaths and deep plunges of his tongue into Jeongguk’s mouth, his hands grabbing at Jeongguk’s clothes as if he planned to fuck him right then and there.

“I love you so much.”

Jeongguk knew without a doubt that he would never get tired of hearing those words coming from Taehyung’s lips. It was a symphony to his ears, and nothing would ever sound better.

For so long he had wanted to know what was in Taehyung’s heart, and now he knew it all. There was no more agony of wondering, no more anxious hoping, no more lying awake and analyzing every touch given, every word spoken.

Taehyung had finally given Jeongguk exactly what he had wanted more than anything else.

“Should we go somewhere?” Jeongguk asked with a seductive chuckle as Tae’s mouth moved to his neck, peppering hot, wet kisses along the skin.

“I don’t think I can wait, Guk…let’s just stay here.” Taehyung murmured as his hands flew down to Jeongguk’s zipper.

“Are you serious?” Jeongguk asked with wide, excited eyes as Taehyung pulled at Jeongguk’s jeans and palmed his hardened length.

“I’ve always wanted to…just hadn’t found the right person…not until you came along.” Taehyung replied as he sunk to his knees.

Jeongguk smirked, his hands sliding into Taehyung’s minty green locks, closing his eyes at the way Taehyung’s mouth worked his cock.

An exhilarating thrill rippled throughout his body at the threat of being caught, but the thrill of knowing that the man he loved, loved him too, was the most intense high he had ever felt before.

And when they were done going completely crazy on each other, the pent up tension quelling just long enough to get to Taehyung’s truck and drive to his apartment, Jeongguk smiled with a peace he hadn’t felt since the morning he’d woken up in Taehyung arms at the beach, as the sun began to rise over the East Sea.

The two made love in Taehyung’s bed, hours ticking by, lost in each other with no need to rush, both finally able to breathe easily knowing they had found what they had never known they had been looking for.

---

Epilogue

“It’s going to be fine. You got this, babe.” Jeongguk said as the two stood outside the sports complex of their university.

It was just one month later and Jeongguk and Taehyung were still going strong, their relationship having gone from “just friends” to “friends with benefits” to “full-fledged couple.” Unlike all the times before, Jeongguk’s feelings for Taehyung hadn’t changed. He was still in love and falling even deeper each day.

Kim Taehyung was Jeongguk’s smart, sexy, talented boyfriend, and he couldn’t be prouder of him. Especially when Tae was about to go to his baseball practice and tell Coach Han that he wouldn’t be pursuing a pro career and to call off any scouts that might have been making plans to visit Odaesan to watch him play and offer him a contract.

Taehyung was nervous about it, and Jeongguk completely understood why. It was a major decision that Taehyung had made, but one he had felt he needed to do.

“Plus, Seokjin and Namjoon will be there to back you up.” Jeongguk added.

Taehyung nodded as he pulled on his white ball cap, his mint hair peeking out from underneath, never failing to make Jeongguk’s pulse race.

The two had spent an amazing couple of weeks together before Christmas break, with their group of friends continuously teasing Jeongguk and Taehyung over how long it took them to finally make things official, with Jimin excitedly winning the betting pool, much to Jeongguk’s feigned annoyance.

But it had only been Joon-Yi that Tae and Guk had taken out to dinner, their way of saying thank you for taking all of those amazing photos of them, and for making it her priority to prove that the photography class would, in fact, lead to them finding love.

“I knew it from the first day of class that you two were meant to be. I just wanted to find a way for the two of you to see what the rest of us saw.” Joon-Yi had told them.

Jeongguk and Taehyung talked about anything and everything as the days passed, their relationship seeming to grow stronger by the hour. But most of their late night conversations centered around all the things they had kept from each other when they were trying their best to stay within the boundaries of their friendship.

Jeongguk had told Taehyung about the entire conversation he’d had with Sooyun, and about how he had realized he was in love with Taehyung not long after they had first slept together. That he had only left Taehyung’s apartment the night of the Halloween party because he had found himself feeling something he had never felt before, not knowing at the time that it was the beginning of how hard he was falling.

While Taehyung, on the other hand, admitted that what Sooyun had told Jeongguk had been the truth, that Tae really had told her that he was in love with someone, heavily alluding to the someone being Jeongguk.

“When I showed up at your dorm room so drunk that night, I had been planning on telling you how I felt, but I had passed out instead, and then I backed out from being too afraid of being honest with you. Too afraid that even if you felt the same, that it wouldn’t last. I couldn’t let myself believe that I could be your first real love.”

Taehyung had also told Jeongguk more about his messed up relationship with Hae-Won, and how it had led to the deep-rooted fear of not being good enough for Jeongguk, about not being sure he was what Jeongguk deserved.

That denying himself true love might be the only way to save Jeongguk from making a mistake, but that ultimately he had to stop beating himself up over things that weren’t true, and to realize that he wasn’t the person Hae-Won had made him think he was.

He wanted to see himself the way Jeongguk saw him. It had made him feel good about himself in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I was afraid of falling in love. I was afraid of being hurt the way Hae-Won hurt me. But you’re not like her, Guk. Not one bit, and that’s what made me realize the difference. That’s what made me realize that being with you would be the most amazing thing I could ever experience, especially after our night at Jeongdongjin Beach. I should have been as brave as you were when you told me how you felt, and I’ll always regret those wasted weeks after.”

Jeongguk and Taehyung’s time together had continued when Taehyung had offered to drive Jimin and Jeongguk back to Busan, while also taking Jeongguk up on his offer to show Taehyung the sights and sounds of his beachy hometown, and treating Taehyung to the best bowl of milmyeon Taehyung had ever eaten.

They had walked around the city, taking photos, holding hands, not caring about anything but each other. And Jeongguk’s family had absolutely loved Taehyung, telling him to please visit again during the summer once spring semester was over.

“See, little brother? Sometimes we get to experience the good side of love too.” Junghyun had told Jeongguk while they had decorated the Christmas tree on the last night of Tae’s visit, smiling at the way Taehyung was taking pictures of Jeongguk’s parents by the fireplace.

“And I always knew you would someday.”

Before Taehyung had left for Daegu to join his family for the holidays, he and Jeongguk had talked for hours about the future, and what it might look like. And Taehyung had come to a decision, and he was ready to face whatever came after.

“I’m going to tell my parents that I’m pursuing photography only. That this coming season of baseball will be my last time playing.”

Jeongguk had beamed with pride, knowing that Taehyung hadn’t come to the decision lightly, but glad to see how confident he seemed with it.

“Even if it’s hard for them to understand at first, I’m sure they will support you. They’ll want you to be happy.”

Taehyung had nodded in agreement, smiling shyly at how proud Jeongguk was of him.

“And I’m going to tell them about you, Guk. I can’t wait for you to meet them when they come for graduation. I know they’ll love you.”

Jeongguk could feel his cheeks blooming with warmth, excited but nervous to meet the Kim’s someday soon, but it was more than just that. It was the fact that Taehyung wanted him to meet his parents, that he was ready to take that next step in their relationship.

They even talked about plans after Taehyung graduated, with Taehyung wanting to stay in Gangneung while Jeongguk finished up his next couple years of college while still working at the museum. Taehyung was already planning on getting an internship with one of the photo agencies in the city to get his feet wet before thinking about where the two of them could put down some roots once Jeongguk got his teaching certification.

Jeongguk was aware of the fact that neither one of them knew what the future held, but for now, they were in love and happy and ready to put in the work to make their relationship last.

“Okay, I’m going in.” Taehyung sighed, checking his watch before looking back up at Jeongguk.

“I love you.” He said, giving Jeongguk a quick kiss on the lips.

“I love you too. Good luck.”

Jeongguk smiled as he watched Taehyung start to walk up towards the building while Jeongguk picked up his soccer bag to head to the field.

“Baby!” Taehyung called out, causing Jeongguk to turn back around, his heart melting at the nickname that Tae had transitioned into using more than any of Jeongguk’s other nicknames.

“I forgot to thank you.” He said with a heart-stopping smile on his handsome face.

“For what?” Jeongguk asked, curious as to what exactly Taehyung felt the need to thank him for.

Taehyung smirked that same famous smirk that had captivated Jeongguk ever since the very first time they had met.

“For everything.”

The End.