Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Keith heard the knock on the door, he had to belatedly admit to the cheesy little butterflies that filled his entire being. He thought it would be Lance coming back to say some other perfectly cheesy, unbelievable thing. That he'd come back to give Keith another soft kiss that tasted like blueberries. 

He wasn't expecting Shiro with that disappointed Big Brother look on his face. It made all the butterflies drop dead. Drenched them in acid doused the remains with gasoline and a lighter. 

“Hey.” 

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “You know I'm not taking that hey for real.” Keith rolled his eyes. “Who the hell was that guy? You barely met him, and you already brought him in here to-”

“I didn't barely meet him; we met at the party last week.” 

“Oh, well since you've known him a week, yeah sure, bring him to your room,” Shiro said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

Keith grimaced and plopped back to his bed, laying back and hating but loving the way his body tingled at the leftover scent of Lance's cologne wafting up from the sheets, the smell of some sweet shampoo rising from the pillow. 

Then he remembered Shiro was there, and his light feeling faded. “What does it matter, I'm at least being safe. Condoms and everything. It's not like I'm expecting anything out of-” 

“Dammit, Keith that's the problem!” Keith sat up, eyes widening at the way Shiro’s voice rose. 

Shiro didn't yell at Keith. Not if it wasn't to call him from the living room or in the middle of a video game due to the hype. The last time Keith remembered Shiro yelling at him was the night Keith had told his parents he didn't want to get adopted. Before that, it would be reprimands telling him to get his act together in school, to stop going around with the little assholes that grouped together and liked to graffiti the sides of tattered stores and shops. Mostly stern talks that only escalated to yelling because Keith would talk back, talk over him. 

Even in light of the reckless way he flirted and fucked, Shiro had only sighed and shook his head, having the usual Adult Conversation with him. 

Now though, he seemed to have reached a limit and that made Keith feel sick to his stomach. 

“Keith, this isn't about you being safe or about the fact that you sleep around. It's not even about the fact that it's with strangers half the time. It's the fact that I know you and I know you're doing this to screw yourself over. I don't know why, I don't know what the hell happened but…. I can tell it's tearing you apart to keep doing this. And I can't stand seeing you break your heart over and over again.” 

“I'm not,” Keith insisted. Shiro fixed him with a look. “I'm not!” 

Shiro sighed and rubbed his face. “I don't even know what to ask or how to help right now,” he admitted. He looked at the door then back at Keith. “The last time you got your hopes up on someone… it didn't end well.” Keith clenched his jaw and curled into himself. He had half a mind to kick Shiro out. The only reason he didn't was because Shiro was the one person Keith truly loved and respected. “But I also don't think it's healthy for you to keep flinging yourself into these dead end hookups any time you get the chance. Even if you don't get your hopes up, I see how it bugs you.” 

“I'm fine,” Keith muttered. It was in fact a double edged sword he was playing with. 

On the one hand managing to fuck someone cute whenever he wanted felt like an ego boost, an extra fuck you after the big break up to say I never fucking needed you. On the other hand, Keith didn't like how often he came to realize the guy he snagged was just “so drunk and horny” or was already dating someone after the sex. He hated how purely hedonistic sex had become because he wasn't expecting cuddles or pillow talk, so he stopped really caring about a connection and focused more on chasing the pleasure to get rid of the person as soon as possible. 

He was tired. But he was also lonely. 

He was confused and not entirely sure what to think of Lance. It only made sense that after sex Lance would be done too. He's satiated his curiosity, his pride. But then- 

“He asked me out on a date.” Shiro furrowed his eyebrows and sat on the edge of the bed. “His name is Lance. He came to look for me today and he introduced me to his friends and kept… holding my hand.” Keith's eyebrows knit together. “It was weird, but… nice.” 

“Then you fuck him and he goes.” Shiro's voice wasn't  judgmental. He sounded sad. Like He was full of pity for Keith, and that…. Frankly, it pissed him off. 

He got up and started pacing back and forth, his arms crossed. “Actually no. He stayed. He asked me out on a date, started talking to me asking me about stuff I like and telling me about some stuff he likes and he only left because his friends called him and he asked for my number and then he left.” 

He stopped pacing and stared at Shiro who was looking back at him tiredly. “You don't think he's gonna call.” 

Keith felt something heavy come over him and he signed, sitting back down beside Shiro. “I don't know,” he whispered. “I want him to. But I don't want to want him to. It just seems like so much trouble to go through convincing me, just to take it all back, but…. He's never been with a guy before. In any sense. Never dated, kissed, much less….” He halfheartedly gestured to the bed. “Not before me.” 

“Keith, you know-”

“Yeah, I know. I do know. I told him he was just… that I didn't think he would… god but he's so weird, like….” Keith shook his head and rubbed his face tiredly. His hands smelled like Lance- cologne and sweat. He could feel the ghost of his lips on his neck. He missed the warmth that came from nuzzling against him. 

They were all dangerous emotions to have for a half stranger who had been straight all his life until happening upon Keith. 

At first the concept had been exciting. Knowing Keith was seen as attractive and rugged enough to make a straight boy waver, to make them beg to get their hands on him. It felt like being a god. 

Then he just started feeling used. Each time the guys regret what they'd done, no matter how much they'd screamed his name and begged for more in bed, it always ended with that fucking regret. It made Keith feel dirty like he'd coerced them, but he hadn't. It made him feel worthless because these guys pretended he was nobody. It made him feel stupid because he didn't know how he expected anything more. 

But Lance was… different from the start. He hadn't begged for Keith to touch him, he'd begged to touch Keith. He'd come back for him. Kissed him on front of people who knew him. Lance had told his friends about him. He'd stayed with Keith longer than he needed to and… maybe he would call. 

“Well. He was cute. Nice eyes,” Shiro offered, dropping the reprimands that were making Keith feel guilty. “What happens if he does call?” 

Keith shrugged. “I guess… I go on a date. I don't know if he'll want a second date, but I could… at least go on one. He seems sincere. Naive as hell, but… sincere.” He shrugged again and looked at Shiro. 

“And if he breaks your heart I have total permission to bash his face in?” 

Keith laughed aloud at that. “I can do that for myself, but sure, you can do that in addition to me.” Shiro smirked and nodded. “Also… how did you even know I was in here?” 

“I was trying to find you because some guy was looking for you. Said you ditched him so I didn't know if it was on purpose or if he did something or I don't know. Ran into a friend and they said you were in here. Heard some noises I don't ever wanna hear again.” Keith blushed at that, grimacing at the memory of how Lance had made him fall apart as well as the fact that his brother had heard it. “So I just sort of… stayed near the back door, checking now and then to see who came out.” 

Keith's face paled. “Did you say something to him?” 

With an embarrassed grin, Shiro nodded and said, “Just told him to stay out of the house….” 

Keith sighed and fell back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. “Cool, so he's not calling.” 

“Don't be so melodramatic,” Shiro muttered. “Alright well… people are starting to leave and stuff. Wanna order pizza and watch Stranger Things again?” 

Keith smiled and nodded. 

It was well after three in the morning by the time everyone left, nearly four by the time Shiro managed to find a 24 hour pizza place to deliver. 

They were halfway through an episode of Stranger Things when Keith's phone went off. He stared at the strange number, nearly swiping to hang up when Shiro said, “Damn, he's already calling?” 

“He? What do you- oh my God. You think it's Lance?” 

“Answer and find out, dumbass!” 

Keith scolded and answered with an anxious, “Hello?” 

Shiro smirked throwing napkins at him until Keith stood up to keep talking, his heart hammering at the sound of Lance's voice.

It wasn't a long phone call…. And yet by the time he hung up, he couldn't wipe the ridiculous smile off of his face. 

Chapter Text

It had been a couple days since the party. Lance's thumbs were speeding over his screen, half listening to Hunk and Pidge. 

“How exactly are you going to get near him if his brother told you to stay away?” Hunk asked for the millionth time. “He could call the cops for trespassing. He could file for harassment.” 

“He could beat you to a pulp,” Pidge added. 

Lance stopped texting and looked up at his friends, narrowing his eyes. “Thank you both for the insight.” He huffed and put his phone down. “Keith says he's just protective. I mean, I get that. If anyone touched Luis or Veronica, I'd go batshit too, and they're older than me. I was planning on just… talking to him.” 

His friends were quiet for a moment. Then Pidge arched an eyebrow. “By talking to him… are you saying you're gonna pull a Landon Carter and ask Shiro's permission to take his foster brother on a date?” 

“Um. I dunno who that is, and I won't be asking permission necessarily. Just letting him know I'm not trying to play around or something.” 

“Buddy, the guy saw you coming out of Keith's room. I don't think he's gonna like you very much regardless,” Hunk said. He was currently flipping through channels as Pidge sidled up beside him, using him as a personal heater. Lance was sitting on the floor, still going over everything. 

“Jeez, it's not like he was a virtuous virgin I seduced down the path of lustful temptation or something! I didn't do anything bad!” Pidge snorted and shook her head. “I just want to be able to go on a date with him.” 

Hunk sat up a little straighter and made a stopping gesture with his hand. “Okay, Lance. You're serious about this right? Completely?” 

“Of course I am!” He hid his face and groaned. “Just because no guy has ever interested me this intensely before doesn't mean I'm not serious. I-” 

“Okay, I believe you,” Hunk said calmly. He smiled and punched Lance's shoulder. “Then just be you. If you just treat this like a normal thing, they'll both see you're being sincere.”

The thing was… Keith wasn't a normal thing. Not in any sense of it. It was the first date he'd have with a guy. He couldn't- and didn't want to- pull the same plays he did with girls. Something told him Keith would elbow him in the face if he yawned to drape his arm around him. 

But another aspect was that no one had made Lance feel so… so heavily infatuated. Infatuated was the wrong word, he felt. It was more like…. God, Lance didn't even know. It was just new. Everything he felt for Keith was stronger, and if emotions had color, then they were brighter too. It was the best way Lance knew how to begin to describe it. 

So no, Lance didn't want to treat this like a “normal thing.” He didn't want it to be normal. He wanted it to be so much more. 

--

By the end of the week, Lance had a love hate relationship with Keith's texting. He loved it because they managed to hold a conversation throughout the day, and when Keith answered, he answered the way he thought. So lance would receive anywhere between 1-10 messages at once from him. 

He hated it because Keith took forever to answer in the first place. Eventually Lance settled for calling him at night. 

However, now it was Saturday, and that meant… date night. 

Lance wanted to surprise Keith. He wasn't entirely sure of what he was doing seeing as the last time he had been at Keith's place, Shiro had told him to stay away. And yet Lance was still pulling into the driveway, wearing his best shirt and the best jeans that Pidge once said made his was look like a strippers. He wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but it felt like a compliment in Pidge world. 

He took a breath and got out of his car to knock on the door. Of course with his luck, it was Shiro who answered the door. 

“Uh. Hey. Lance. I'm Lance.” He sighed and took a breath trying to calm himself down. “I'm here to see Keith.” 

Shiro gave him a once over and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I know.” He opened the door further and kitted his chin toward the living room. “You can chill there.” 

“Cool. Thanks.” 

For a moment it was silent. Just Shiro staring at Lance with a weird look on his face. Lance was sure he was plotting a murder, his to be specific. Then Shiro turned and went down the hall calling, “Keith! It's for you!” 

Lance bit his lip and waited, trying not to look so nervous. He looked around, trying to gather some more basic information from the walls around him. If anyone walked into Lance's dorm, they'd know everything they needed to. 

Lance had a photo of his family on the wall, posters of bands and movies he liked, a couple abstract art pieces that got his attention at a market, and he had a bunch of old CD sleeves hung up too. What wasn't on the wall, you could learn from the things scattered around his desk, his bed, his counter. 

But here, it didn't seem like either of the inhabitants cared much for decoration. There was a TV on a nice stand that had a stack of movies, a couch, a table, a rug, and a tall lamp in one corner. No pictures, no posters, no sign of hobbies. You wouldn't even know they were foster brothers. 

“Lance?” He jumped slightly before turning to look at Keith. The sight of him- unruly hair, indigo eyes, even the ghost of the last hickeys still fading- had Lance's heart hammering I'm his chest. He had an urge to run toward him and wrap him in his arms and kiss him over and over. As if they'd been dating for years. 

“Hey,” he finally answered, his breath leaving him in one go. He stood up and got closer to him, feeling weak kneed as Keith regarded him. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Shiro came up behind him, giving Lance a steady look before dipping into the kitchen. Keith look confused but amused as Lance tried to find words. 

“I just. I thought maybe. Since it's a date I figured, you know we could- or I could come pick you up. Yeah. If that's… cool?” 

Keith smiled, arching an eyebrow. “Yeah, okay. Um. Come here.” He took Lance's hand and led him to the kitchen. “Shiro. This is Lance. I'm pretending you guys have never met before so the tension can go away.” 

Lance grimaced. But Shiro just laughed. “Hey, Lance.” 

“This is Shiro. My older brother.” 

Lance nodded and waved. “Hey. Nice to… meet you.” Lance turned to Keith and gave him a smile. “Are you ready to go? The movie doesn't start for a while, but I like being early if that's okay.” 

“Yeah. Lemme just get a jacket. Also, I'm driving.” Lance frowned, but didn't get a chance to argue because Keith was gone. 

Behind him, Lance heard a smug chuckle. “Good luck.” Then Shiro walked back past him into his room with a bowl of cereal. 

A moment later Keith came back with a leather jacket that looked unfairly good on him. He smirked, gave him a wink, and gestured to the front door. Lance followed him out, heading to his car. “Um, so about the driving-” 

“Over here, pretty boy,” Keith said. Lance looked up to see Keith going up the driveway toward the garage. Okay, so it was his own car. 

The garage door opened and Lance started wondering what kind of car Keith would have. He could see him with a Mustang. Or if he had the money, a Lamborghini. Maybe even a large Ford truck or something. 

Except he was completely wrong. There was no fancy car in the garage. There were two motorcycles. One a resplendent white with black and gold accents. The other a deep, shiny black with red curves. 

“Motorcycles.” 

“You're riding with me. Shiro doesn't like anyone touching his bike. But you can use the helmet.” Keith held out a white helmet, holding a red one under his arm. A smirk slowly made its way across his face, sexual and teasing. “Scared?” 

“No, ‘course not.” He grabbed the helmet and and bit his lip. “I didn't know you rode motorcycles.” 

Keith swung a leg over the motorcycle, and Lance couldn't help the way his mind got away and focused on the way Keith's thighs looked straddling the thing. 

“Yeah, there's a lot you don't know about me, pretty boy.” Keith gave him a teasing smile before running a hand through his hair to put his helmet on. 

Lance was a weak man.

He put the helmet on and got on behind Keith, hesitating with his hands. Sure he'd been all over Keith a week before, but this was different. This was a date, not a hook up. There were different rules. 

Keith laughed and grabbed Lance's hands, wrapping his arms around his torso. “Who's shy now?” 

Lance felt his face heat up, but he didn't mull over it much. The scent of Keith cologne along with the scent of fruity gum filled his nose and made him pleasantly dizzy. And by the time Keith revved the engine and kicked off, Lance was holding onto him even tighter, burrowing his face in his back. 

After a moment, Lance got used to the speed and the feeling of wind pressing against him. He loosened his arms from such a vice grip to a more sensible one and rested his chin on Keith's shoulder. 

A motorcycle ride didn't allow much in the terms of conversation, but it was exhilarating. The motorcycle itself was a rush, but being wrapped around Keith and being encompassed by him completely made it even better. 

When they got to the theater, Lance's legs were shaking a bit, but he felt good. Keith tucked away their helmets in the compartment under the seat before standing in front of Lance with a raised eyebrow. 

“You good?” 

“Got to hold onto you the whole time, so hell yeah.” 

The smugness on Keith's face vanished and left behind a red-faced expression of shock for a few moments before Keith chuckled and shook his head. “Cheesy.” 

“And you like it.” 

“Mm. Debatable.” 

Lance pouted and Keith laughed. He started walking toward the ticket booth and Lance fell into step beside him. He looked down at their hands then at Keith's face. He seemed nonchalant, his hands swinging idly beside him. 

Lance caught his hand with his pinky, caressing the back of Keith's with his fingers. Keith stopped walking and froze, staring at Lance with wide, confused eyes. 

“Do you mind if I hold your hand?” He flattened his palm out against Keith's, lining up their fingers and arching his eyebrow. 

He didn't answer. He just slipped his fingers between Lance's and kept walking, a blush creeping its way up his neck and along his cheeks. 

They got their tickets and went inside with thirty minutes to spare. Keith looked at Lance and smirked. “What do you wanna do for half an hour before we have to get in there?” 

“Well… there's an arcade. I love air hockey.” 

Keith laughed and let Lance lead him to the small arcade section. Lance bought some tokens and they made their way to the air hockey table. 

Within the first few seconds, Lance mercilessly hit the puck to bounce off the side and make it through the slot, scoring with a victorious whoop. Keith had pulled his hand back, instinctively trying to save his fingers from being hit. 

He stared at Lance with wide eyes, incredulous. Lance just smirked and shrugged. “I'm kind of the best at this game.” 

Keith narrowed his eyes, his lips pulling into a smirk. “We'll see about that.” 

Suddenly all Lance was focused on was the sound of the puck being hit, sliding between them almost at the speed of lightning, the way it zigzagged and bounced and flipped because of how hard it was being hit. 

More than once, one of them hit the puck hard enough to bounce out of the ring, causing the other to duck before being hit. The game was full of laughs, and indignant profanity and teasing. 

Not only that, but Keith proved to be good competition because it took forever for one of them to score. 

Lance had never played a single game of air hockey for half an hour until Keith. And the only reason they stopped was because the movie was about to start and the lines for concessions were getting long. 

“Obviously, I won, I'm two points ahead,” Lance said. 

“Oh really?” Keith grabbed the puck and shoved it through the slot before grabbing it again and repeating it, tying their score. 

“Wh- wa- that's cheating!” 

“Come on, pretty boy, we're gonna be late to the movie. Someone else can finish our game.” 

“I call for a rematch when we get out of the movie.” Keith snorted and nodded, nudging him playfully. Lance leaned into him, which made Keith stumble a bit before Lance caught his arm. “Whoa easy. Sorry.”

“N-nah, it's cool. Just wasn't expecting… I don't know what I wasn't expecting but… yeah, it's okay.” Lance chuckled and let his hand slide back into Keith's. “This is your first date with a guy right?” Lance nodded. Keith bit his lip. As they got in line for concessions, he added, “Mine too.” 

“What?” 

Keith ran his free hand through his hair. “I mean, sort of. Like, I only sort of dated one other guy and we sort of went out places because that's just what you do when you're with someone, you go places with them. It wasn't a big deal. I've never gone on a date with someone like this. Where we don't really know each other and we're not boyfriends and it was actually planned.” 

Lance stared at him for a while, fighting the urge to pull him into a kiss. Instead, he squeezed his hand. “Well, is this a good first date?” 

Keith hesitated, like he didn't want to answer. He looked at Lance for a second, something guarded in his eyes. Lance raised his eyebrows slightly, feeling a panic grip his entire being. Then Keith's face softened and he squeezed back. “Definitely. Competitive air hockey is the best first date.” 

Lance laughed and hid his face with his free hand. Then he lifted their interlocked hands to his lips and pressed a light kiss to Keith's knuckles. “Good.” 

Keith turned bright red and looked away, shaking his head. Then, because Keith was Keith, he paid for his own snacks refusing to even let Lance offer to cover it. 

By the time they made it into the theater, Keith was practically racing up the steps to get to their seats, anxiously waiting. Lance reached him and plopped down beside him. “The movie isn't even close to starting.” 

Keith gave him a sheepish smile and shrugged. “I like the trailers. I don't know why.” 

“Oh. Well if you'd told me that, we could've ended air hockey earlier.” Keith shrugged and opened his Sour Patch packet before focusing on the screen. 

Watching Keith watch a movie was fun in a subtle way. It made Lance notice some of the smaller nuances he had. He was more expressive watching something on screen. His eyes widened, he would bite his lip or smile widely, he'd knit his eyebrows together, he'd start tapping his fingers or shaking his foot. 

And Lance gathered all of that in the time it took for trailers to finish and the first ten minutes of Bohemian Rhapsody. It was unfairly endearing. 

After a while of watching the movie, Lance was waiting for Keith to make a move. Any move. Reach for the popcorn at the same time. Brush their hands together on the armrest. Lean in to rest his head on Lance's shoulder. Hell, even the yawn-arm-around-shoulders thing. 

None of it happened. Keith remained with his hands in his lap if Lance's hand was on the armrest. He didn't move if not to lean forward for a scene or shift his legs. 

It became clear that the inexperience with dates meant Keith was never going to make a move if Lance didn't. 

So the next time Lance got the armrest to himself, he moved it up and leaned a little closer to Keith. 

Keith stiffened and tilted his head toward Lance. “This okay?” Lance asked, pulling back slightly. Keith stared at him then nodded. Lance smiled and leaned into him again, resting his head on his shoulder. 

After a few moments, Keith stretched out his hand and turned it so his palm faced up. He didn't say anything, but the way his head tilted down slightly and hesitantly told Lance it was his way of trying to initiate handholding. 

Lance slipped his hand into Keith's and chuckled softly, his nose nudging Keith's cheek before he turned to focus on the movie again. 

He didn't want the movie to end. Because while it played it gave Lance an exclusive pass to notice things about Keith he wouldn't have if he wasn't pressed up against his side. Like the way he hummed along to the songs or the way his quiet chuckles reverberated in his chest and how he tended to move his shoulders when he laughed or the way he grunted when something he didn't like was said or happened. 

They stayed in their seats until the lights came up, the last bits of credits rolling. Lance lifted his head to look at Keith, their faces close enough that if he tilted his head slightly forward, their noses would bump together. 

“You make me nervous,” Keith admitted. Then his eyes widened as if he hadn't meant to say it aloud.

Lance held back a smile and simply hummed. “Why?” Keith shrugged and looked away, breaking the trance they'd been in. “Hey.” 

Keith looked back at him, looking tired and guarded again. “Yeah?” 

He bit his lip and gave him a smile. “We have that rematch for air hockey we should get to. No cheating this time.” 

Keith smiled and nodded, getting up and gesturing for them to leave. Lance followed and they went back to the arcade. As they walked to the air hockey table, Lance noticed another game he used to play all the time with his siblings. 

“How do you feel about dancing?” he asked. Keith froze and looked at Lance uncertainty. “I’m a king at that game, so I get if you don't wanna-” 

“You're on.” 

Lance laughed, enjoying the way Keith was easily riled up by competition. It was so easy to push his buttons. 

“Besides, I know you're doing this because you know I'll beat you at air hockey,” Keith added. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “As if. We can go back there once I win here.” Keith scoffed and got on his side of Dance, Dance Revolution. 

As the game started, Keith started losing immediately. Embarrassingly so. To the point where Lance was considering losing himself so it wouldn't be so bad. 

Then, just as Keith's screen flashing red, there was a sudden shift in points. All of a sudden, Keith's score was raising exponentially and Lance risked a look over at him.

And holy shit. Holy shit. 

Keith was smirking. Moving fluidly, even his arms and torso soon completely unnecessary but fitting choreography. 

Now it was Lance who was working to keep up.

“Dude what the hell?” 

Keith only laughed in response. 

Sure enough, Keith won the game. Lance didn't even have it in him to be embarrassed. He was too awestruck. And he knew that Keith had planned it from the moment Lance made it competitive. 

“What was that? How did you do that? You dance? Holy shit!” 

Keith chuckled and shrugged, running a hand through his hair. “Another thing you didn't know about me.” Lance smiled and nodded encouragingly, waiting for Keith to keep talking. “I… I used to tell Shiro and his parents that I was staying after school for the dance team so I could go hang out with some friends. We were sort of troublemakers. When Shiro found out, he made me actually join the dance team and would call the instructor to be sure I was there and everything. Ended up doing dance for my junior and senior year of high school and joining a club in my college.” He blushed slightly and nodded. “I actually really like dancing.” 

Lance chuckled, thinking back to Keith asking him if he danced then saying he didn't only for Lance to find him the next weekend dancing away. Lance wondered what was so special about himself that it warranted Keith lying just to get alone with him. 

“That's really cool. I dance a little, but I'm not great. My brother Marco is the one who can get all our cousins and aunts to dance at parties and gets to dance with all the girls when he goes to a club. I can pass, but like I said, I'm not great.” Keith nodded. “Man, I knew you danced a bit, but I didn't think you could do that.” 

Keith laughed and nodded. “I guess I should thank Shiro for being so petty.” 

Lance nodded in agreement. Then he asked, “So what kind of trouble would you get into?” Keith raised an eyebrow. “You said you and your friends were troublemakers.” 

“Oh. Yeah. Just. Dumb stuff. Like graffiti on the side of run down gas stations. Or skipping school to daydrink at the skatepark. Stupid stuff that makes you feel grown up when it's just proving you're not.” Keith said it a level of nonchalance that made it obvious he wasn't quite so nonchalant about it. He was looking at his feet as he walked. 

“Damn. If Shiro's protective with you about me, I can imagine how he was with that especially if you were a high schooler.” 

Keith winced and rubbed his neck. “Yeah….” 

Noting the way Keith was beginning to shut down again, Lance tried to steer the conversation elsewhere. Keith had a habit of indulging in some aspects of his past like he was anxious to share them then putting his guard up twice as quickly when he seemed to regret it. Lance didn't want him feeling like he had to divulge in his past if it made him uncomfortable, as much as Lance was dying to know him. 

“Well this one time, I tried stealing some gum from the store a neighbor had built into their house. I got caught though, and my mom made me give it back. I cried for like two hours.” He looked over at Keith who was giving him an incredulous expression. “I was also about eight years old,” he added. 

Keith broke into a smile and tilted his head back as he laughed so fully it made Lance's breath catch. Something about the way it built and reached his eyes and… it was perfect. 

“Wh-why a pack- a pack of gu-” he broke off into a fit of laughter, covering his mouth. 

Lance blushed and shrugged. “I don't even know. It was like $1.99, but I was so sure my mom wouldn't buy it for me if I asked, so I just…. I took it so my mom wouldn't feel bad for not being able to get it for me. I mean, obviously it was worse when she had to take me back to return it.” 

Keith's smile remained, but it wasn't as amused and gleeful. It was more… pensive. He looked at Lance and tilted his head, staring at him inquisitively. “You're something else, Lance.” 

“Thank you, I think?” Keith chuckled and nodded. “So do you like art? Drawing?” If Keith used to do graffiti, didn't that mean he was a good artist? Lance had seen some tags and art bits around the city. They were incredible, despite their shabby locations and the fact that some were painted over or blacked out. Maybe one of them was Keith's. 

“No. I was never any good. I only ever signed one of the graffiti pieces and…. I was mostly look out and company.” Lance nodded, figuring then that he should stop trying to guess which of the ones he liked were Keith's. “So what are your hobbies? You know I dance. That I like music and movies. That I used to cause trouble. What about you?” 

The question made Lance grimace as he kicked at the carpeted floor. “Um, well… I like movies too. And reading but just some books. I don't really… have a ‘thing,’ you know?” 

Keith narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “I think you do you just don't know what it is.” Something about the way he said made Lance feel special. He prayed it was true. 

After a moment, when Lance didn't answer, Keith said, “I'm kind of hungry. Want to get food?” 

Lance smiled and nodded. If Keith wanted to keep hanging out with him, that was a good sign, right? He wouldn't have offered if he was tired of him. 

He was led back to the motorcycle, and Lance slid his arms around Keith easily. “My mom would kill me if she knew I was on a motorcycle.” 

“Out of this whole situation, that's what she'd kill you for?” 

Lance frowned. “What do you mean?” Keith shook his head, smiled, and revved the engine. They were speeding off before Lance could ask anything else. 

It didn't hit him until they got on the highway. He was on a motorcycle while on a date with a boy. A boy he'd already slept with. If Mami knew all of that, she'd have thrown both her chanclas at him and ushered him into a confessional. Mami hated the idea of sex before marriage. She hated motorcycles. 

But Lance had no idea how she felt about two boys in a relationship. There was a variety of ways she could respond. She was a religious woman, and same sex relationships hadn't been talked about in their family. He'd heard her chastise his brother Luis once for using the word “faggot” as an insult once. And she told Papa not to stare when they saw two girls holding hands on the street, obviously not sisters. But while she hadn't talked badly about anything LGBT+ related, she hadn't exactly advocated for it either. Like it didn't exist until it did for a moment, and then it stopped existing again. 

If Lance went home and said he wanted to date a boy, what would she say? 

When they got to a Denny's parking lot, Keith parked the bike and sighed, taking his helmet off. “Sorry. I know I should stop bringing up the fact that I'm your first… everything with a boy. I-”

“It's okay. I get it,” Lance said a little sadly. “I'd be suspicious too if someone said something like that to me. And I don't know the details, but I gather something's happened before.” Keith's face tightened and he looked away, past Lance and toward the diner. “Honestly, I have no idea how my parents would react when I tell them about you. And yeah, thinking about it, I'm kind of scared, but that's not going to make me change my mind about you.” 

Keith's expression had changed halfway through talking. From guilty and frustrated to something soft and surprised. But he just gave Lance a smile and said, “I guess I was kind of lucky with coming out. Shiro came out to his parents when he was fifteen. So when they took me in, it wasn't a big deal.” 

As Keith got off the motorcycle, Lance let that new piece of information sink in. Then he got off and gave Keith his helmet, waiting until they were walking to the entrance before asking, “So, what'd you tell Shiro about me?” Keith raised an eyebrow, but Lance noticed how his neck flushed. “He was ready to tear me apart when I saw him Saturday night. Today he seemed kind of indifferent.” 

Keith rolled his eyes and shook his head. “I just… told him to lay off. I can take care of myself. And the fact that you asked me on a date made you a little more favorable, I guess.” Lance hummed and let the subject drop. 

Once they got seated, they bounced between small insignificant questions like favorite colors and newest favorite song to bigger stories. Keith, while still reserved, did tell Lance a little about his childhood. Like his first fight when he was seven, or when he found out he hated sports because they made him angry, or the day Shiro and his parents threw him his first birthday party. 

Lance told Keith a little about each of his siblings and about some of his favorite memories with them like the day they all went to the beach and nobody argued or fought for once because they were too busy swimming and burying their Papa in sand, and the day Lance came home with a scraped knee and a split lip because some kid pushed him on the way home and Marco and Luis had to be held back from going out to find the kid, and the day they all came with his parents to drop him off at college for his freshman year. 

“You really love your family,” Keith noted, swirling a piece of pancake in syrup. 

“You love yours, right?” Keith’s violet eyes flickered over to him. “Shiro and his parents. They’re your family. It’s a little smaller, and it’s a lot different, but it’s a family, and it’s yours.” Keith bit his lip. “Sorry. It’s not my place to say, I know, I just…. I’d hate for anyone to feel like they don’t have a family because it isn’t conventional. Just because you’re not related by blood, or because it’s a little broken or smaller or because you found it later in life… it doesn’t make that family any less important.” 

“You’re right,” Keith said. “They are my family. And I do love them, no matter how different. Shiro kept me on a good path. He looked out for me. His parents… they love me too, and I know that.” He sighed and tugged on his gloves a bit. “It’s just… kind of complicated. But it’s not first date information. More like third or fourth maybe.” 

Lance smiled at that. “Oh? Does that mean we’re having a third or fourth date? I’m not royally fucking this all up by asking the wrong questions?” 

Keith laughed and shook his head. “No, you’re good. And… maybe. This has been a pretty great first date, so… if you want a second one-”

“Yes, absolutely, I do, please.” Lance didn’t bother hiding his excitement. Keith just laughed and blushed a bit and kept eating. 

They stayed a good while after eating, talking a little more about the movie, about the food, about the things they already knew about each other. Keith was still careful about what he said, keeping it light by simply saying, “third date,” when something was too personal. 

“Can I ask you something?” Keith asked after they paid the checks and started for the motorcycle. Lance nodded. “What made you become interested in me? At that first party I mean.” 

Lance blinked then thought back. He thought of how he had been thinking that Keith was out of reach and enticing. How he hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off of him that whole night. He looked at Keith and smiled shyly. 

“I don't know exactly. Except that when I saw you, it was like everything about you was confident and sure. I just really needed to get close to you and it was weird because I didn't know how to. Then all of a sudden you came up to me.” Lance furrowed his eyebrows. “Why did you go up to me?” 

Keith took a breath and smirked. “Honestly? I noticed you looking at me. It was like you weren’t even at the party, you were just… observing. Then I went up to you and… you weren’t super confident and flirty like I thought you would be. It was like you were waiting on me.” 

“Is that a good thing?” 

“It was different,” he admitted. “Everything about you has been different.” That soft look came over his features again and Lance fought the urge to kiss him. He wasn’t really sure why he was fighting the urge, it wasn’t like they hadn’t done way more already…. But something about how different this was made him nervous. 

Keith wasn’t acting like he did when they met and slept together. That sexual energy wasn’t there. Instead, they were both nervous, excited even, taking small steps in exploration. Lance wanted to do this right, wanted to prove to Keith he was serious about him. And maybe Keith was still exploring what it was like to be with someone who wasn’t planning on throwing him away. 

Eventually, Lance wanted to see if Keith would explain to him. He wasn’t broken. He wasn’t sad. He was just guarded. Keith seemed to want to control how close someone got and when to turn them away, and it seemed like that’s what he’d always done. Lance wondered if he was the first to fight that. He wondered what experience made Keith begin needing that level of control and distance. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Keith asked, frozen under his gaze. 

Lance blinked, tethering himself back to reality. He smiled and shook his head. “Just really excited about this. You and me.” 

Keith’s cheeks flared and he cleared his throat, shoving the helmet at Lance. “Come on.”

They rode back to Keith’s place and Keith put the motorcycle back in the garage before closing it. He kicked at the gravel of the driveway and bit his lip. “So…. did you wanna come inside?”

Lance stepped forward and took his hand. “I know we’re not really doing this the traditional way, but… I wanna do this first date right for you. And I don’t sleep with someone on the first date.” 

“Then what’s next?” Keith asked with a smile. 

“Well. First dates call for me walking you to the door.” Keith raised an eyebrow and followed him to the front door. “My Papa drilled that into my head. I don’t think it’s different with a guy.” Keith chuckled and nodded. “And then… I tell you what a great time I had with you. And how I hope to see you again. And you say the same. But only if you mean it.” 

Keith had a cute way of smiling. When it was genuine, a smile he couldn’t hold back, he’d smile with his tongue between his teeth and a slight scrunch of his nose. He gave Lance one of those smiles and nodded. “I had a great time with you today. And….” He bit his lip and Lance felt his heart speed up in his chest, pounding through his ears. Keith stared at him for a while, and Lance hoped his hectic fear wasn’t evident on his face. “And I want to see you again.” 

Lance let out a sigh of relief and laughed at himself. “Thank God.” Keith laughed and squeezed his hand. “Okay. Now… what would usually be our first kiss.” Keith snorted and leaned forward slightly. 

Lance put a hand to the side of his face, brushing his thumb along his cheekbone. Keith stared at him with wide, indigo eyes that made Lance feel like he was flying. “I’m nervous for some reason,” Keith  whispered. 

“I am too.” Keith gave him a timid smile before tilting his head. Lance licked his lips and leaned forward to press his lips against Keith’s. 

It was soft, gentle. It was a press of warm lips, hesitant and new because their previous kisses had been heated or rushed. This one was slow and tentative. 

Their lips didn’t stop touching, not quite ending the kiss but not kissing. Lance opened his eyes as Keith's fluttered open. And with that, their kiss transformed. 

Overwhelmed as he had been with their real first kiss, with the kisses shared in the confines of his bedroom, this one might have topped them all. 

He felt Keith’s hands slide along his torso, to the small of his back, bringing him closer before his hands slid to rest on his hips. His tongue licked along Lance's lips, sucking on his lip and biting gently. Lance cupped his face with both hands and pulled him nearer, losing himself in that scent of cologne and the sweetness of his lips. Part of him didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay and keep kissing Keith and keep holding him and fall asleep with him so he could wake up to him and see how that smile looked when he was just waking up. 

Keith pulled him forward, thudding against the wall behind him before maneuvering Lance’s hips so he was the one against the wall instead. Lance grunted and Keith pulled back slightly, leaving Lance to chase after his lips. 

They rested their foreheads against each other, breathing heavily, occasionally leaning forward for smaller kisses. “Are first date kisses always that intense?” 

Lance laughed and shook his head. “No. But that’s because I’ve been dying to kiss you all day.” That comment was rewarded with another relatively chaste kiss. Lance really didn’t want the night to end. “When can I see you again?” 

“You have my number and you know where I live. You can see me whenever you want.” Lance hummed and ran his thumb along Keith’s lip. “The dance club I’m in at the university is having a showcase performance Wednesday afternoon on campus. Everyone’s welcome. It’s kind of practice before the competition.” 

Lance smiled and tugged lightly on the hair at the nape of Keith’s neck. “Is this you inviting me to watch your performance?” Keith blushed, shrugged, then nodded. “I’ll be there.” He kissed Keith again then forced himself away. “Okay, I should go or else I’m going to keep you here at your door all night long.” Keith laughed and waved goodbye, watching Lance head back to his car. 

Lance stayed in his car, waiting for Keith to go inside before driving away. He couldn’t stop smiling. And the radio couldn’t stop playing love songs. 

Chapter Text

Walking into the house felt like a haze. Keith couldn’t stop touching his lips and going over the entire date in his head.

Whenever Keith felt certain of what to do, Lance would do something and change the game plan. Keith had planned on being smooth and stoic the whole time, emitting the “bad boy” persona most people seemed to attribute to him. But then Lance was so unabashedly cheesy and sweet and romantic and… honest.

So he figured he could play into it. Flirt back, be corny like the movies. Only it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel comfortable or natural. He’d done it before, but doing that with Lance on a first date just didn’t seem right.

Then he tried being honest. Which worked. Lance seemed eager to learn about him, and even when Keith panicked and regretted saying anything, Lance would ease off, patiently waiting for Keith to be okay with sharing. But being honest felt so vulnerable. It felt too trusting. And Keith didn’t want to trust Lance just yet.

But God, that had been… the best possible first date he could’ve had.

He liked the movie. And he liked the way he could always tell what Lance was thinking during it. He was pretty vocal, clipped laughs, scoffs, gasps, all of it. Keith never had to wonder what Lance thought about a certain part of the movie because Lance made it so clear. It was… cute.

And he definitely liked the arcade. Lance didn’t seem scared to challenge him, to test him. He definitely wasn’t about to let Keith win. But the look on his face when he saw Keith dance…. It was a look of pure astonishment and even joy. Like Keith had just let him in on a secret part of him, which he sort of had.

Dancing was important to Keith. It had saved him. It was something special and significant, and he enjoyed it. Even he was surprised when he told Lance about it.

The diner was fun, and that first date kiss had definitely left him weak-kneed.

But the part that was mostly standing out in Keith’s mind wasn’t in any of those places. It was in the parking lot of the diner. It was a split second. But it was the thing that had Keith entertaining the idea of… something more.

“Keith?” He heard a slight knock on his door before it opened. “How was the date?”

Keith smiled at the ceiling and sighed. “Good. Really good.” He sat up and looked at Shiro, hopeful and afraid. “I think he means it when he says he likes me.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. Keith could tell he was apprehensive, but he wanted to be supportive. It wasn’t like Keith fell for people often. Obviously something merited his level of hope. “Come to the kitchen, I was making myself a coffee. Tell me how it went.”

Keith scrambled up and went on about the date, laughing as he recounted the challenge at air hockey and the dance game. He told Shiro how Lance always asked to be sure the physical contact was okay even with something as small as hand-holding. He told him about how Lance’s eyes lit up when he talked about his siblings or about Hunk and Pidge. He told Shiro how focused he got when Keith spoke, and how his knee was always bobbing up and down no matter what if he was sitting.

“He said he hadn’t really thought about what his parents would say about him liking a boy.”

“So he’s not telling them?”

Keith smiled and bit his lip. “He said, ‘I don’t know what my parents will say when I tell them about you.’ When. Not if. I think… I think he really means it, Shiro. I mean, he said he’s still kind of scared since he thought about it, but he wants to tell them, and… if he was just experimenting or something, there’s no way he would do that. Right?”

It was quiet for a bit as Shiro sipped his coffee and thought. Keith felt like he was going to explode. He wished someone could just tell him whether this would work or not so he would know whether to get excited or not.

“I mean, it’s one thing to say he’ll do something and another to do it. But the fact that he’s going to these lengths for you… yeah, I’d say he really means it, Keith. And he’s a big step-up, so….”

Keith rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. “Am I being stupid, Shiro? I mean, I know I barely know him, but it feels different. Which is stupid to say because that's what they say in movies, and this isn't a movie-”

“Keith.” Keith stopped talking and looked at Shiro. He was smiling at him, his expression gentle maybe a little teasing. “You're 21 years old. This is the best time to be stupid. As your brother, yeah, I'm a little hesitant about this, but that's my job. You shouldn't worry. Maybe it's time you let yourself have a little fun in a healthier way. Get to know him, go on dates, don't be scared to be excited about this.”

“But… what if it goes bad? What's the point of being excited over something that ends up being a disaster?”

“What's the point of waiting for the worst in something that could be the best thing?” Shiro took a sip of his coffee through a smirk.

Keith huffed. “Now you're gonna get all philosophical.” Shiro laughed, and it eased Keith's nerves a bit. “I don't know. He's really sweet. I think he means what he says. I'm just scared that he's living in this bubble. Then once he tells his family or we argue he's gonna snap out of it and take it all back.”

“Maybe you should tell him that. Even if he says you're wrong, at least he'll know why you're holding back.” Keith shrugged. “Or maybe you can tell him what happened. About… you know… him, and Roland.”

Even with one remaining unnamed, Keith couldn’t help the roll of fury that coursed through him. Followed by the shame and heartache. He couldn’t bear the idea of Lance’s name being added to that list of people. “Lance already knows I had a crappy past with people. He doesn’t need to know specifics.”

There was a sigh that made him look up from the table. “Everyone’s gotten their heart broken. Everyone’s had someone who broke their trust. I’m sure Lance has his own stories too. But it’s the specifics that can help him and you. If you’re really as excited about this as you seem to be, then you’ve gotta talk to him.”

“Maybe later. We barely had our first date,” Keith answered. He got up and gave Shiro a smile. “Thanks for talking with me. I’m kinda tired, so I’m gonna knock out.”

“Goodnight.” Keith waved and headed back to his room.

Like clockwork, about ten minutes after Keith had gone to bed, he heard Shiro’s door click shut. He heard the distant, muffled hum of a TV.

So Keith grabbed his headphones and opened his window. He climbed out, reminiscent of his teenager days at the Shirogane household. It wasn’t that he couldn’t go out whenever he wanted or that Shiro would get upset if he left. He just didn’t want Shiro worrying, wondering where he was going when Keith didn’t want to tell him.

He started walking along the sidewalk, following a path he would know blindfolded. It was quite a walk, but if he’d grabbed his motorcycle, Shiro would’ve heard him. Still, he trekked on, like he needed to be there.

Until he reached a shabby gas station with a taco stand on one side, a smoke shop on the other. He walked to the back of the building where the dumpsters were, and knelt down to sit on his heels, balancing on the balls of his feet.

He stared up at the giant mural of a dragon and a griffin twirling around each other, roaring at each other. The griffin decorated with a golden glow and the dragon surrounded by flames. A lot of the graffiti Keith had witnessed being created were surprisingly well maintained. The hands that created them had been gifted and put a level of detail that even the biggest cynic would look at it and recognize it as art.

Just near the main highway, Keith had watched up to ten faces being sprayed throughout two weeks. A newborn baby, Marilyn Monroe, Frida Kahlo, an old friend, some famous general, an old woman with various wrinkles. A few others he didn’t know, but had been fascinated by all the same. Usually, anything graffitied by highway would get painted over. But not those faces.

Like those, this particular graffiti was also kept pristine despite the dumpsters being so near. It wasn’t as vibrant as it had been the evening it was created, but it wasn’t as faded as other graffiti and tags on other stores. Of course, no one dared to paint over it with new graffiti when they saw the signature.

Keith stared at the art, remembering the day it was made. He’d missed an exam in his AP Stats class that day, skipped lunch and AP Bio just to be there. He remembered chewing Starbursts as he sat on the ground, watching the way colors came together so easily. The way the forms of the bird and the dragon were created. He remembered playing music on his phone, listening to a soothing voice singing along and asking Keith to toss a water bottle now and then.

He hated how fond he was of those memories still.

Could he tell Lance about these memories? He was a college junior, and everything with… him had happened in high school. But even after all this time, Keith couldn’t even say his name. And then there was Roland, and that just… ruined all progress Keith had made for moving on.

Now Lance came out of nowhere, being all gentlemanly and funny and… so honest. It was like the universe was apologizing for the assholes by sending Lance. Only, he was too perfect. And that made Keith even more suspicious than if Lance had been a typical player-type.

Sometimes Keith wished he wasn't so broken. Wished he could throw himself into something without panicking and overthinking and fearing. But he also knew it was better this way. It kept him from being hurt. It helped him know what to expect, what to look out for.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and pulled it out.

Hey I just got home! I had a really great time with you today. I hope I didn't push too much or anything. And if you want to hang out without it being a date I'd be down for that too!

But like only if you want to don't feel pressured

It's cool

But I do just fyi.

Sorry, okay goodnight!

Keith chuckled as he read the messages. He tapped his phone against his chin as he looked back at the graffiti. He took a deep breath and stared at his phone screen.

I had a great time too. Thanks for a fun first date.

And yeah. I'd like that too.

Chapter Text

It was a slow process, but it was still progress nonetheless. Lance stared at the text he received from Keith and smiled, trying to use it to tether himself in light of his friends’ mini-intervention. Though intervention was a word he was using because he was bitter. Logically, he knew they were just looking out for him. 

“Lance, maybe you should slow down a bit. You haven’t dated someone seriously… in a long time. And this is moving pretty fast.” 

Hunk nodded, agreeing with Pidge. “It’s great, buddy, and I think he’s pretty cool. And I know you mean the best with him, but… we both think you should slow down if this is gonna be serious.” 

“We’re not actually dating,” Lance said, frustrated. He didn’t like how condescending this conversation felt. He hated when Hunk and Pidge ganged up on him, even if it wasn’t their intention. 

“Right you just fuck and go on dates and text all the time,” Pidge said, crossing her arms. 

“We had sex one time!” Lance ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. “This isn’t gonna be like the girls I’ve been with okay? I’m not just looking to forget. He’s actually… I like him, guys. And it’s not like we can jump into anything. He’s pretty closed off too, so….” He sighed and put his face in his hands. “It would help if you guys stopped bringing it back up. I don’t want the rest of my life defined by what happened.” 

Hunk put a hand on his shoulder and gave him one of those puppy-dog smiles that made it hard to be angry with him. “We know, Lance. That’s not what we’re trying to do. We just want to do what we can so you can be happy.” 

Pidge moved to sit beside him and poked his cheek. “You're our best friend. We wanna look out for you.” Lance nodded and leaned into her. She wrapped her arm around him and rubbed his shoulder. “We’re gonna head out, but we’re still on for a study day tomorrow right?” Lance nodded. “Cool, we’ll let you know when we’re on our way.” 

As they walked to the door with Lance, Hunk turned and hugged him. “I’m really glad your date went well, buddy. I’m sorry if we’re coming off a little harsh.” 

“I know, I know. It’s ‘cause you love me. I’m just so loveable you don’t know what to do with me.” 

Pidge and Hunk rolled their eyes. But Hunk elbowed him lightly. “We really do, Lance. See you tomorrow.” Lance smiled after them as they left. 

He grabbed his phone and smiled at that last text again as he walked to his room. 

And yeah. I’d like that too. 

Lance sighed happily and plopped down onto his bed. If he closed his eyes he could still feel Keith’s lips against his own. He could still feel the ghost of his hand intertwined with his. Still feel the way those violet eyes made him feel like he was floating. 

Maybe Hunk and Pidge were right, and he was rushing into this a little fast for someone who hadn’t had a real relationship in over a year. But he couldn’t help what he felt. And at that moment, Lance really missed Keith. 

--

The next day, Lance couldn't help himself. He messaged Keith and asked if he wanted to come over. To his pleasant surprise, Keith said yes.

He had been tidying up an already clean living room, trying to rid himself of the anxious energy he felt. When he heard a knock on the door, he nearly tore it off its hinges to open it. 

There he was. In a sweatshirt and black jeans, hair pulled into a tiny ponytail at the nape of his neck, eyes soft and curious. A small smile played on his lips as Lance looked at him. “You gonna let me in?” 

“Yeah, of course, come on.” Lance stepped aside to let Keith in. He was looking around, eyes drawn to the decorations of the room. A few kid projects from his niece and nephew hung on the walls, a family picture in the living room, one of him with Hunk and Pidge near the front door, a few acrylic paintings he'd gotten at a garage sale. 

He let Keith wander and soak it in, watching as his pretty eyes flit around. Until they rested on Lance along with a smirk. “It feels homey in here.” 

“Yeah, well, my home away from home. My parents are just an hour's drive, but still.” He shrugged and walked toward Keith, waving the remote in his hand. “Wanna watch something? What kind of series do you like?” 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and followed him to the couch. “Uh, anything funny or creepy, I guess.” Lance raised an eyebrow. Keith sat beside him as rigid as he had been at the theater, though closer. Lance scrolled through shows and movies until one caught Keith's attention and started playing it. 

Just like at the movies, Lance waited for Keith to make some kind of first move. He figured Keith might find it easier after their date. Except, like on their date nothing happened. 

So he leaned over and laid his head on Keith's shoulder. This time though, he didn't stiffen up. He seemed to relax and one hand came up to Lance's cheek, fingertips brushing his skin gently. 

“I've been expecting you to kiss me since I walked in the door,” Keith admitted. Lance pulled away and looked at him. He was red in the face, but his expression was steady. 

“You know, you can kiss me too. Sometimes I'm waiting on you to make a move so I know you're interested and not just here because I wanted you to-” 

He felt lips crashing against his own before he could finish and melted into it. Drawn to him, he followed until he was laying over him, still kissing him in a way that made Lance crave more. More intensity more ferocity. 

“I am interested,” Keith breathed out. “I'm just not good at this. It's new.” 

Lance nodded and traced a finger over Keith's lips. “I know,” he whispered. 

Then he leaned down and connected their lips again, fueled by the way Keith's hands gripped his sides. 

Keith rocked his hips up and Lance pulled away from the kiss in favor of a gasp. Undeterred, Keith leaned up to press open mouthed kisses along his neck. Lance grunted and leaned in to nuzzle against Keith, shivering at the feeling of his teeth grazing the sensitive skin of his neck. 

“A-ah, K-Keith. Keith, wait.” Lance pulled himself up with his arms and looked at Keith sheepishly. “I don’t… have anything… for us to….” 

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Fuck?” Lance choked on air and turned red, making Keith laugh. He pulled Lance back down, kissing him with a tenderness that made Lance’s heart stutter. “That’s okay. I like this too.” 

“Yeah?” he asked with a shy smile. Keith looked up at him and smiled one of those genuine smiles that made his nose wrinkle as he nodded. Lance leaned down and kissed him again, letting the peaceful sensation overwhelm him. He hadn’t felt that in so long. 

And maybe it was because Hunk and Pidge brought it up, or maybe it was because they were right, or maybe Lance’s head was just getting away from him but… remembering that last time ruined this one. 

He pulled away, brushing his lips against Keith’s, but not kissing him, trying to silence the memories, trying to quell the emotions that were trying to break through after so long. 

“Are you okay?” 

Lance opened his eyes and stared at Keith, tethering himself back to reality. A gentle thumb came up to the space between his eyebrows, smoothing out the crease. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Lance sighed. “Just… tired, I guess.” 

“Should I go-?” 

“No!” Keith chuckled and ran his hands through Lance’s hair, cupping his face. Lance shut his eyes again. “Don’t go. Could you just… stay? Please.” 

Keith nodded and Lance laid down against him, his head tucked just under Keith's chin. He brought his arms in under his body as Keith's wrapped around his waist. 

He could hear the television as it slowly became an incomprehensible hum, muted by the steady thump of Keith's heart, the sound of his breathing. 

It was quiet for a long while. After about half an episode, Keith shifted and grunted slightly. Taking a cue, Lance started to get up so he could get off, but Keith's hands pressed against his side to shift him. Keith turned slightly and pulled Lance in so he wasn't on top of him, but next to him, facing each other. 

He chuckled slightly and Lance raised an eyebrow in confusion. Keith put a leg over Lance's and moved his hand to run down his arm. “You're very long limbed.” 

“Um. Sorry?” 

Keith snorted and shook his head. “It's just funny seeing you try to accommodate.” 

Lance blushed and cleared his throat. “I'm not used to being the little spoon.” Keith's arms started to loosen, so Lance quickly added, “But I like it. Feels nice.” 

He felt Keith's arms tighten around him again and smiled. “Did you want to turn so you could see the television?” 

“Mm, no, I'm watching something way better.” 

That precious, deep red blush soaked into Keith's cheeks, making him bury his face in Lance's shoulder as he groaned. “Don't say things like that, I don't know what to say to them.” 

Lance smirked and tilted Keith's face back to look at him. “You don't have to say anything. I just love seeing how flustered you get.” Keith narrowed his eyes and grumbled, so Lance gave him a kiss. Sure enough it made Keith's expression soften and Lance smiled widely. 

He tangled himself fully around Keith and curled in further, shutting his eyes as he took in the mix of scents that always stuck with Keith. Fruity bubble gum, sweet cologne, a vague smell of grass from him riding his motorcycle, and something that gave Lance a cozy feeling, though he couldn't place it. 

After a while, Lance began to drift to sleep. He woke himself back up when he started hearing her voice. But he was suffocating under the strength of his sleepiness. He could only move slightly, to which Keith responded to by letting him go slightly so he could move before wrapping his arms back around Lance when he was done. 

He was at a state where he could only consciously recall he had been dreaming for a few seconds, only have a split coherent thought that he had to get up before he was slipping into foggy dreams again. 

Reality was distorting. “Lance, you know I don't like being the big spoon,” she giggled. 

Lance flinched, opening his eyes, seeing her for a moment before he heard Keith's voice. “Lance? You okay?” Fighting through the muggy feeling, he realized he'd woken up inside a dream, and woke up in real life feeling panicked and heavy. “Lance, hey, what is it?” 

Lance looked at Keith and shook his head. “Nightmare. Sort of.” He tapped his finger against the design of his sweatshirt.

“I used to get those a lot. When I was little. One of my foster moms did this thing where she sat with me and told me stories until I fell asleep. But she could do these cool shadow puppets so I'd watch them and listen to her until I could fall asleep again.” 

Lance smiled, tracing the outline of the logo on the sweatshirt. He liked when Keith let him in on tidbits of his past. But he also knew he had to be careful. “She sounds nice. Why did they move you from that home?” 

It was quiet for a moment and Lance wondered if he'd fucked up. Then he said, “Her husband didn't want to keep fostering. So they sent us to new homes. It kind of messed with my head and….” He shrugged, but Lance noticed the way the arm around him tightened just a bit. 

“You said you've been with Shiro’s family since high school, right?” Keith nodded. “They seem to care about you a lot. Why didn't they adopt you?” Keith pulled back a bit, leveling himself with Lance. His jaw was set, his eyes searching for something in Lance. “Sorry. If you don't wanna talk about that-” 

“It's okay. I just….” Keith sighed, and his eyes focused on the TV behind Lance. “They did want to. I didn't. It hurt them a lot when I said that, but….” He grimaced. “There’s a lot about me and my past you still don’t know. And I want to tell you, I think. Just not… now.” 

Lance tilted Keith's face back to him. He smiled and kissed him lightly. “Yeah, I get it. Take your time. I’ll be here.” 

His eyes softened. One of his hands hesitated as the back of his knuckles brushed along Lance’s cheek. The touch was soft and Lance couldn’t help but close his eyes against it, his hand fisting into his sweatshirt. 

Then in a hoarse whisper, Keith said, “If you want to sleep, I could tell you one of the stories I was told when I was little. I can't do shadow puppets, but it could keep the nightmares away.” 

Lance smiled widely and hummed. “That'd be nice.” So he snuggled in closer, and let Keith's voice wash over him as he began to spin a story together. Something about a sick dragon king and a turtle making friends with a rabbit, but needing the rabbit’s liver. Keith’s voice was becoming slower, softer, and Lance fell asleep when the rabbit went underwater with the turtle. 

It took Keith shaking him to wake up. “There’s someone at your door, and I think it’s your friends,” he said, his voice hoarse, like he’d been asleep too. “They’re-”

“ Lance answer your fucking phone! Open the door I gotta pee!” 

Yeah, that was Pidge. And the incessant knocking was doubled which meant they were both knocking. Lance grumbled and rolled off the couch and onto the floor. “Coming!” he shouted.

He went to the door and barely managed to open it before Pidge was zipping inside. “Hey, Lance.” She ran toward the corridor, shouting a “Hey, Keith!” over her shoulder before she disappeared into the bathroom. 

“Keith?” Hunk walked in and Lance went to sit beside Keith who was now sitting up, looking sheepish, with his hair all mussed and sticking out. “Oh, hey man.” 

“Hi.” Keith looked at Lance and arched an eyebrow. “Should I go…?” 

“You can stay if you want. We’re just gonna do homework.” He took his hand and gave him a smile. “Your choice.” 

Keith looked at their hands then at Lance. He nodded and squeezed his hand back. “Okay. You’re a heavy sleeper, by the way.” 

“Oh, man, trust me we know,” Hunk said, dragging Lance’s table closer to the couch. “He used to sleep through me and Pidge’s video game nights. And uh…. Pidge can get pretty loud.” 

“Why is my name coming up in conversation?” Pidge asked coming back into the room. She grabbed one of Lance’s throw pillows to kneel on the floor.

“It’s not my fault! I had to adapt to sleeping through vacuums and screaming kids and loud music for cleaning day. Hispanic parents have no respect for weekend mornings. I learned to sleep through it to survive!” He heard Keith’s muffled laughter and couldn’t help the warm fuzzy feeling bursting in his chest. 

As per usual when they arranged study sessions, they got sidetracked. Whether by the show they were watching on Netflix which they all swore wouldn’t distract them since they’d seen in before, or by the prospect of food when they all conveniently got hungry less than half an hour into the study session. 

After ordering a pizza and watching a rerun of Dr. House on Netflix, Lance and Hunk were watching eagerly as a debate bounced back and forth furiously between Keith and Pidge. Keith had made a comment about how House was still good at his job despite the lack of ethics and morality. Meanwhile Pidge was debating that just because he got the answers, it didn’t make him a good doctor due to his intentions. 

Lance heard the phrases Kantian ethics, Utilitarianism, and the Hippocratic Oath. Debating on what House’s intentions were and whether they excused his actions or not. On top of trying to dissect his personality overall by picking him apart psychologically, and whether those facts merited a say in House’s overall worth as a doctor. 

Lance enjoyed the show because of the witty sarcasm and mystery. Seeing it getting picked apart like this usually annoyed him, but that was typically was usually the only one with an extensive say. So he usually just nodded or let her talk herself out like a good friend. Hunk watched it because he liked medical shows, but even he didn’t pick it apart as much as Pidge because he figured it was all for drama and there were plenty of plotholes anyway in the medical areas. 

Now, Keith- who had apparently binged the show and then rewatched all eight seasons- was providing an entertaining moment. People didn’t usually challenge Pidge. Except for Hunk when it came to their engineering or computational classes, it just didn’t happen. And everyone knew it was best not to challenge her. If it was academic, she’d wipe the floor with what remaining dignity the person had left. If with anything else… well her blackout the week before served as proof of just how far she was willing to go to rise to a challenge. 

So this was… more than interesting. Especially when there was a lull in conversation on Pidge’s end. Lance could practically see the theories in her head, trying to pick apart Keith’s latest argument. 

Hunk leaned over and whispered, “Did he just break Pidge?” 

“I have no idea,” Lance whispered back, watching carefully. Keith was chewing pizza. Pidge was tapping her finger incessantly against her chin. 

And then suddenly she was off. She started talking a mile a minute, practically speaking an entire dissertation over… a TV show. When she finished talking, Keith smiled and said, “I think you have the outline for your ethics paper now.” 

Pidge stuttered before her eyes glazed over and widened. “Oh my God! Thank you!” She turned to her computer and began typing furiously.

After staring at Keith incredulously, he turned to them and blushed slightly. “Um. I minored in philosophy because the classes interested me.” 

“God you’re amazing,” Lance said in a low breath. Keith turned even redder and Hunk cleared his throat before turning to the homework he’d been procrastinating on. 

“So uh, Lance, how come you’re not at the same school as us?” Keith asked. 

“I got a full ride to the one I’m at. I did get accepted to yours, but it was more expensive and I’d have had to pay some out of pocket. With Vero, Marco, and Luis in their own stuff, there’s no way my parents could’ve afforded that. But it’s cool I still roomed with Hunk off campus for the first year and we’re all still close enough that we still hang out.” He shrugged and turned the page on the reading he had to do. He was sitting on the floor, just beside Keith’s legs, and he leaned his head over against his knee. After a moment, Keith’s hand began to sift through his hair and Lance smiled.

Suddenly Hunk groaned loudly, scrolling through something on his laptop. Lance nudged him with his foot and raised an eyebrow. “I hate group projects. I always get the slackers. It’s like my professor thinks I can get them to get their shit together. This one girl, Flora, she’s been ‘sick’ all weekend, which basically means she’s been hungover. Roland is doing what he always does and basically having one of us do the work he’s supposed to do while passing it off as his own. And this other guy, Blake, is just not answering anyone. This thing is a final, who in their right mind-” He broke off with another frustrated growl. 

Pidge ruffled his hair. “Easy, Hunk. Just do your part. And log all the activity and lack thereof from everyone else. I’m sure if you show your professor, they won’t count it against you.” Hunk seemed to relax a bit before shutting his computer off. “Also, Flora’s lazy, Roland’s an asshole, and Blake is usually just getting high, I have no idea how he’s managed to make it to senior year.” 

“Roland Norman?” Keith asked. 

Pidge and Hunk turned to him. “Yeah, you know him?” 

“Had him for class my sophomore year. He was a slacker then too. Good at twisting things so everyone else but him was to blame. He’s also part of the dance team.” 

Lance huffed and shook his head. “It’s so unfair how some people struggle so much to get through school, and then there’s jerks like that who can just breeze through piggybacking on other people.” 

Hunk sighed and rested his head on the table. “I’m just gonna email my professor once I cool off. I’m gonna send them all one more text to get their work done and then it’s their fault if they don’t. I’m too tired to deal with this.” 

Hunk got up and headed to Lance's kitchen, probably ready to find something to bake to cool down. Lance usually had some form of brownie, cake, or cupcake mix that Hunk would add his own flare to. Sure enough, Lance heard him rummaging in cabinets and pulling out kitchenware. 

“What's he-?” 

“Hunk likes making food desserts are his de-stresser,” Pidge said, pushing her glasses up her nose. 

Lance noticed Keith trying to catch a glimpse over the counter to the kitchen where Hunk was messing around. He tapped his arm and smiled when Keith looked down at him. “You can go help him if you want. Hunk likes company in the kitchen, and you're the only one without homework.” 

Keith hesitated, but then Hunk said, “Who's joining me? Wash your hands!” 

“Well, okay.” Keith got up and shrugged as he went to the kitchen. Lance watched him as Hunk immediately put him to work greasing down a pan and pulling out ingredients. 

Over the chatter of Hunk talking about tricks he learned from his mom and the background noise of the television, he returned to his reading. He tore off a bit of the corner as Pidge said, “He's pretty cool even outside a party setting. He's smart, I a-”

She stopped when he put the paper on her laptop. 

She's in my dreams again.

Pidge’s eyes widened slightly and she looked up at him, worry greasing her eyebrows. She pulled out her own blank sheet and scribbled onto it, giving it to him before she started talking about some movie they'd watched the month before. 

Don't go down that hole again. We didn't mean to bring it back up. You seem to really like this guy and he could be good for you.

Lance chewed on his lip before responding. 

I do like him. I just don't want to feel guilty.

When he handed that one over, Pidge dropped the facade and leaned in closer. “Lance, there's nothing to be guilty about. Don't do that to yourself.” 

“I don't wanna fuck this up,” he whispered. 

“So talk to him.” 

“It's a slow process!” 

They heard Keith laughing and turned to see Hunk pointing a batter covered spatula at him. 

“Please don't kill him, I like him,” Pidge said, easily integrating into the mood. Lance on the other hand had to take a second to pull himself back into the moment. 

Soon enough, the smell of warm chocolatey brownies filled the apartment and Hunk and Keith came back to the living room. Hunk looked much more relaxed now. As Keith moved around to sit beside Lance on the floor, Lance quickly shoved the paper with Pidge’s response into a random page in his textbook. 

Keith sat down, his side pressed against Lance’s. “Are you going home for the holidays, Lance?” Hunk asked. 

“Probably for Christmas and New Year’s. But they’re just an hour away, and they’re giving my room to my abuelitos so I don’t really wanna go back to sleep on a couch,” he said. “What about you guys?” 

“My parents are coming up. Matt is like, twenty minutes away from me, so it’s just easier to reconvene here,” Pidge said. 

“I’m going back but not until the week of New Year’s.” Hunk looked at Keith and smiled. “What about you?” 

“Uh, Shiro’s parents live here, so we just drive over whenever.” He shrugged. Lance could tell there was something he was holding back, something making him recoil a bit. But before Lance could steer the conversation, Keith said, “Are you guys going to the dance showcase?” 

“I’ve heard of it being talked about, but I wasn’t really planning on it. Are you? Wait, are you on the dance team?” Keith nodded and Hunk smiled. “Whoa that’s cool! Yeah, I’ll go.” 

Lance slipped his hand into Keith’s, and Keith only let his eyes flicker over to him for a moment before returning to the conversation.

There was a part of him that desperately wanted to curl into Keith, to wrap his arms around him and find solace in the embrace. He wanted to be kissed by him to soothe the unease in his chest, wanted to feel certain that Keith would be first to reach for him. But he knew that wouldn’t happen. Because Keith always waited on a cue. Because they weren’t even dating, they were just… in a weird space in the middle where they were pulled to each other but still too much of a stranger to the other to merit the term boyfriend.

It was so confusing because they’d already spent a party making out and holding hands in front of Hunk and Pidge. Now it felt stiffer. It felt uncertain. It felt like there were boundaries that had to be discovered slowly. 

Somewhere around midnight, Hunk and Pidge left, leaving Keith and Lance alone. After a bit of quiet TV watching, just sitting beside each other, Keith turned to Lance and touched his arm lightly. 

“Um. Are you okay? You're kinda quiet.” 

Lance looked back at him, the unease in his eyes darkening them. “Yeah, I'm okay.” Keith frowned, turning his body fully to face Lance. He looked frustrated, though Lance wasn't sure why. “What?” 

After a moment of hesitation, Keith said, “You just seemed to get a little distant after a while and I don't know why. Did I do something or are you not comfortable being around me with Hunk and Pidge-” 

“Wha- hey!” Lance sat up straighter and reached for Keith's hand. “That's not it at all. C'mon Keith, don't you at least know me a little better than that by now?” Keith's jaw clenched, his eyes narrowed. “Hunk and Pidge both know how much I like you. And who do you think I blathered to about our first date and everything else?” 

His expression eased up and he sighed, shoulders slouching. “Then what happened?” 

Lance touched his cheek lightly. “I just don't know what you're comfortable with. I mean, we aren't official, so I don't know what you want when we're around other people. You don't initiate anything, and I don't want you feeling like you have to because I do-” 

“Wait, you're confusing me,” Keith interrupted. “Initiate anything?” 

“Like… hand holding and… I don't know if I get too close sometimes or…. I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to.”

“We've already had sex, Lance-” 

“That doesn't matter!” Lance stood up and started pacing. “These are different circumstances. You still thought I was gonna ditch. I don't know what you like and what you don't like, and I don't want to always be the one that has to make a move first.” 

It was quiet for a moment. Lance stopped pacing to look at Keith. 

He was rigid, on the edge of the couch. His eyes were set on a random point on the wall, narrowed. Lance felt a wave of guilt wash over him.

Then he took a deep breath, and his eyes moved to the table. “Lance, I don't mind when you get touchy and affectionate. And I'm sorry if I'm not reciprocating it the way you want but….” His jaw clenched and his hands curled into fists on his lap. “I don't know how this works, so I am taking cues from you. There is still a part of me that thinks you don't really want this, and I'm waiting on you to realize it, so it's easier to just… mirror whatever you do.” His eyes flickered back to him, distraught. 

Again, Lance wanted to know who had left him so broken he was still messing with pieces of whatever past he'd had. What would it take for Lance to prove himself? “So… you thought my pulling away was… me starting to not want you around.” Keith shrugged then rolled his eyes and nodded. The sequence of those things made Lance wonder what he was thinking. It was like he was having a sort of conversation with himself. Maybe he was. He seemed to be picking his words carefully. 

More than anything, Lance wanted to know what was going on in his head. What was he holding back? What made him decide to say one thing, and not another? He was being more transparent than he had been in the past, and Lance wanted to know why. Keith was obviously someone who didn’t like vulnerability. And yet, he was letting Lance in a little. That meant something. 

Lance sat on the table in front of Keith and cupped his face. “Okay. So… you don’t mind if I do couple-y things around other people even if we aren’t a couple?” Keith stared at him for a second before shaking his head slowly. “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind. But can you also maybe try to… take me by surprise sometimes? I just wanna be sure you’re still into this too. Whatever it is.” 

Keith let out a huff and Lance could feel the way his jaw tensed under his hands. “Okay. I can try, but I can’t promise I’ll be good at it. I’m not used to this. I’m not used to you.” 

“I know,” he whispered. 

Violet eyes scanned his features and suddenly Keith was pulling back, pushing Lance’s hands away. “Don’t do that! Don’t feel bad for me. Pity… pisses me off. I’m fine.” Lance blinked in surprise, frozen as Keith crossed his arms, staring him down. “Whatever bullshit I dealt with made it way harder for me to get hurt now, and that’s a good thing, I think. So don’t look at me like a kicked puppy.” 

Lance smiled and started laughing. Keith looked at him like he was crazy, but Lance couldn’t stop laughing.

The guy sitting in front of him was so unpredictable, so easy to tip from one side to another. It was easy to make him blush, and Lance had no idea what things would make him start shutting down, much less what things would make him get defensive or aggressive. It was kind of fascinating seeing how many emotions Keith could feel, and how sudden they could happen. He liked that he was getting to see them. 

He liked that Keith was unafraid to show him. He liked how much this beautiful person seemed to feel.

“You’re incredible,” Lance said with a smile, moving his hands to simply take Keith’s. 

Keith raised an eyebrow at him, but Lance just kept smiling. Again, Keith pulled his hands away. But this time, he hooked a finger in the collar of Lance’s shirt, pulling him forward. When they were close enough that their noses were brushing, Lance waited, eyes falling to Keith’s lips and up to his eyes.

Finally, Keith closed the space and kissed him. Slowly at first, unsure. Then a little more confidently, his hand slipping to the nape of Lance’s neck to bring him in. Lance let himself be pulled forward until he was fumbling off the coffee table and onto his lap. He was practically draped over Keith, their kiss never stopping, but building and building. 

Keith's experienced mouth reminded him of that first kiss making him melt under the attention and the touches. His arms wrapped around Lance's torso, hugging him close as he sucked on his lower lip. 

“Keith….” Keith hummed, but Lance only returned to the kiss with more fervor, more intensity. 

His arms unwrapped themselves, hands favoring going under his shirt instead. His thumbs rubbed circles into Lance's sides, making Lance shiver. 

“Do you want to stay the night?” Lance asked on a single breath. He bit his lip and looked down at Keith who looked a little surprised. 

A small smile played on his lips as he brushed them over Lance's. “I would but I have a dance practice early in the morning. And then in the evening. I left my stuff back home.” Lance grumbled which made Keith chuckle before he groaned. “Which means I should probably go before it gets later. You're coming Wednesday, right?” 

“Yeah, absolutely. I wanna see you in your element.” Keith laughed at that, his hands pulling away from Lance's body to interlock with his. “So you gotta go?” 

“Mhm.” Except he didn't move. He kept touching his nose to Lance’s. Lance smiled at him and pecked his lips lightly. Then he leaned lower, trailing his lips along his jaw, down to his neck. He heard a soft gasp and one of his hands moved to rest on his thigh. “What are you doing, pretty boy?”

Lance smiled at the nickname, responding by sucking against the skin and swirling his tongue, biting just hard enough to make Keith grunt, his grip on one hand and his thigh tightening. “You mind?” Keith shook his head, tilting his head to give Lance space. 

The pale skin was his canvas to create bouquets of hyacinths, and Lance quickly got to work, marking him up as much as possible. He wanted to make him stay, he wanted to make Keith think of him even when he wasn’t near, he wanted the people who saw him tomorrow to know someone had done this to Keith. He wanted them to wonder, wanted to show anyone else who might have wanted him that Keith wasn’t theirs. 

And maybe Keith wasn’t his either, but he was this much closer than them. Keith was letting him do this. 

“ Lance,” Keith breathed out. Lance could feel a bulge against the inside of his thigh and he smiled. He wasn’t any better, but he liked knowing what he did to Keith. 

“So you can think of me,” Lance whispered in his ear. 

Keith chuckled and touched his face lightly. “You have no idea,” he said softly. Lance’s eyebrows rose, and Keith blushed slightly, shrugging. Lance knew that he wasn’t going to get anymore information from him. Then he squeezed his legs and said, “I really do need to leave, pretty boy.” 

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” he grumbled. He got off of him and walked him to the door. 

Keith turned to him as he stood in the hallway and bit his lip. “If you get more nightmares, you can call me. If you want.” 

A weight dropped in Lance’s stomach, but he plastered a smile on his face, fighting the guilt that began to sprout through his veins. “Yeah. Thank you.” Keith nodded and hesitantly leaned forward to kiss him one more time. 

“Goodnight, Lance.” 

“G’night,” Lance whispered. Keith smiled and started walking down the hallway. Lance shut the door and locked it, sighing as he leaned his head against the table. “I just want to move on. Please.” He walked to his room and toward his closet. 

At the top back corner, there was a battered old black and blue shoebox. He pulled it out, afraid to open it, but needing something tangible. So many memories he couldn’t bring himself to throw out were in that box. Memories he thought he’d made his peace with. Until he heard her laugh, heard his name on her lips again in a stupid dream. 

Maybe it was unhealthy to hold on to something like this. But Lance didn't know what to do with the guilt. Pidge was right, he had nothing to be guilty about. So why couldn't he shake the feeling? 

Part of him wanted to tell Keith. To explain a bit and maybe get some sort of reaffirmation from him. But then… Keith hadn't told him about his own dating history. He wanted to know Keith really trusted him before indulging his own past. 

He stared at the box for a second before putting it back in its place and retreating to his bed. 

He met a very attractive guy. They liked each other. Something good was coming out of this. Lance didn't have to keep looking back. 

Chapter Text

The night before felt like a blur. After leaving Lance’s apartment, Keith was so dazed and tired, he only knew he’d made it home and somehow managed to get to his bed to fall asleep. He was still thinking about Lance and the taste of his lips and the warmth of his hands on his face and the way his smile lit up his face. It was all he could think about, like some high schooler bitten by a love bug. 

Even as he fell asleep, he found himself already missing Lance’s warmth beside him. 

By morning, he was rushing to get to school on time, shoving his extra clothes into his gym bag and speeding down the streets. He managed to find parking that wasn’t too far from where they held their dance practices, and he ran into the building, taking the stairs two at a time. 

When he got inside, everyone was still stretching. He left his stuff by the wall and went to stretch beside Alexa. She had asked him to help her with her duet performance, and over the course of the rehearsals, he’d come to find he enjoyed her company. She was quiet and reserved, so being around her meant Keith could pretend he was more social than he was without actually being so. 

She looked up at him when he plopped beside then did a double take, a smirk playing on her face. 

“I take it you had fun last night?” 

“Huh?” 

Alexa snorted and raised her eyebrows. “The hickeys on your neck. I mean, either that, or you’re very kinky.” 

Keith felt his face turn red faster than he would appreciate as he recalled Lance kissing his neck. He hadn’t actually given himself time to look at himself in the mirror, so he’d forgotten. He pulled his phone out and used his camera to see himself. 

“ Lance!” he growled, taking in the dark splotches of purple, fuschia, and almost bluish bruises blossoming on his pale skin. They look almost painful, but… there was definitely no pain when he was receiving them.

“They match your eyes,” Alexa offered, bending forward to wrap a hand around her foot. “Who’s Lance?” 

Keith stowed his phone away and shrugged. “A friend.” Alexa snorted at that and shook her head, not bothering to press. 

She got up and bent over, touching the floor with her palms flat on the ground. “When you're done stretching get to me so we can go over the dance. We get to practice our individual ones before group today.” 

Keith nodded, and she walked away to a back corner. As he stretched his legs, he grabbed his phone and took a picture of Lance’s handiwork, sending it to him with the caption; You really went for it huh? 

He saw the instructor come in and quickly pocketed his phone. He doubted Lance was even awake yet. The guy never answered a text until nearly ten or eleven depending on the day of the week. 

Once he was done stretching, he got up to rejoin Alexa. She didn’t really speak, Keith just took his spot sitting in front of her, mirroring her position. Just like that, Alexa began counting, and Keith was working off of muscle memory, keeping up with her in the movements, scoffing at the occasional, “Don’t drop me!” 

A lot of the dance depended on him being able to hold Alexa’s weight as well as his own, and really, that was Alexa’s doing. It was part of the reason she chose Keith as her partner. He was nimble enough to make the dance as graceful as her, but strong enough to hold her up. So he wished she had a little more faith in his ability to keep her from falling to the ground. 

Sure enough they made it through the dance without losing their balance like they used to when they were first figuring it out. Before they could go over it again after talking out some rough parts and tweaks, the instructor called the whole group together. There weren’t many of them. Their dance team only consisted of 12 people. Keith supposed it was because most other dancers had outside groups or were part of the theater major. 

After a few rambles- and a keen side-eye from her- the instructor turned on the stereo and music sounded through the room. Everyone immediately took their spots and Keith narrowed his focus to the beat of the music, the automatic counting in his head, the movement of his limbs. 

It didn’t even matter that Roland was beside him in this formation. Not when he was dancing. When Keith danced, he was more in control of himself and his body than ever. Nobody could take that from him. Not even Roland. 

As the music ended, another song replaced it. Three more songs left Keith sweaty and thirsty, his muscles warm and tired. Before he could let himself rest, he went to Alexa to see if she wanted to rehearse their dance again. 

“Save it for this afternoon. I have to get back to my place for a shower before class.” She patted his shoulder and left. 

As Keith started for his duffel bag, the instructor called for him. He turned to see her with Roland to one side, and his stomach clenched. He gave Keith a hateful flat before he walked away. 

Keith reached the instructor and nodded. “Yeah, Colleen?” 

She looked him over, arching an eyebrow before saying, “How would you like to be the dance captain?” Keith's eyes widened and he looked back at the door where Roland had just walked out. “Roland has missed practices and been late to most others. He may be a good dancer, but he doesn't take it seriously. I think you would do a better job in the position.” 

Keith hesitated. He wanted the title. It would look great if he ever wanted to find another team when he was done with college. But he wasn't charismatic like Roland. Still, if Colleen thought he could do it, then why not give it a shot? 

He smiled and nodded. “I'll do my best,” he promised. “Thank you so much.” 

She smiled back at him with a proud gleam in her eyes. As he left, she called after him. He turned and she tapped her neck. “I want those covered up by performance time.” 

Keith blushed and nodded. “Yes, ma'am.” He left the practice room and started for the bathroom to change. 

Almost as soon as he opened the door, he felt a pair of hands shove him back against it, an arm at his throat  and a hand on his chest keeping him pinned. Keith knew who it was before his brain could catch up and focus. 

“Get the hell off me, Roland.” 

“Captain was my title. What the fuck did you say for her to boot me?” 

Keith wrenched his arm away and glared. “Nothing. It's not my fault she thinks your irresponsible.” Roland scowled, but Keith cutoff his reply. “You wouldn't even have had the position if it weren't for me. You fucked it up, not me. Stop blaming me for anything that goes wrong for you.” 

Roland shoved him against the wall again, hands at shirt. “You've had it out for me since I dumped your manipulative ass-” 

“Manipulative? I didn't manipulate you into anything. It's not my fault you couldn't get it up for your girl unless you were thinking about me.” 

Roland yanked him from the wall, rearing an arm back to swing but Keith ducked, hearing his shirt rip slightly from the grip Roland had on it. 

“Tearing my shirts off again, baby?” Keith teased. “And here I thought you weren't into it.” 

“Shut the fuck up!” Roland was shaking, fixing Keith with a look that could kill. “I'm not into dudes. You fucked with my head, and now you keep fucking up my life.” His eyes skimmed over Keith's neck. “Who's your newest victim? How long until he realizes you're just a fun little experiment he's gonna want to forget?” 

“Not everyone is as closeted as you,” Keith growled, trying not to let the words sink into him. 

“I'm not-!” Roland scowled, then scoffed and smirked. “It's what you're known for, Keith. You're the guy who gets straight guys drunk enough to want you to help them with blue balls. I'll admit you had me had me hooked a little longer, but I know better now. You just put out so easily-” 

Keith hadn't realized what he was doing until he had already tackled Roland to the floor and had landed a good hit that landed with a satisfying crunch. But he couldn't stop.

All of the feelings from when Roland had broken up with him resurfaced. Those feelings of being used, of being lied to, of feeling like an idiot, heartbroken and naive. All the hatred for Roland and guys like him, the ones before and all the ones that came after. That feeling of worthlessness that settled so deeply in him, he wasn't really sure he'd even gotten rid of it yet. 

It wasn't until Roland caught his hand and twisted enough to make Keith pull back that he stopped punching him. Roland had a split lip and his nose bleeding. Keith hadn't gotten that angry in a long time. 

He stayed on the ground, staring at his knuckles, smeared with blood and shaking slightly. Roland pulled himself up with the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. 

“Fucking psychopath,” he hissed, without even looking at Keith before he stumbled out of the bathroom. 

Keith yanked at the roots of his hair, trying to ground himself. He kept remembering the fascinated look in Lance's eyes the day he took him to the shed. The way he was obviously new at touching a guy, but unafraid to try. The look on his face when he'd found Keith dancing a week later, all lust and jealousy. 

How it mirrored so much of Roland when they first started. Though their first kiss had been hesitant and slow. Keith unsure if he was wanted, Roland unsure if he wanted to indulge in wanting Keith. But the same unsure touches, the same eagerness to learn. 

Only to be dropped a month later, with Roland insisting he had just been lonely, he wasn't into guys, he wasn't into Keith, and Keith had taken advantage of the fact that Roland was on rocky ground with the girlfriend he had. The one he broke up with for Keith then later left Keith for. Except he'd gotten drunk a week later and went looking for Keith, practically throwing himself at his feet, and Keith had been so pathetically in his hands, ready to have him back to forgive him and…. 

Lance swore he wasn't experimenting. But what if a month later he realized he wasn't seriously into this? Why did Keith keep falling for these guys that didn't seem to know what they wanted? 

It was no wonder Shiro wanted Keith to stop sleeping around. He did have a fucking reputation. 

Keith got up and washed his hand off, splashing his face with water. 

He pulled his phone out to check the time and saw a message from Lance. 

I mean, I can start leaving them in places people wouldn't see 🤔🤔🤔

Keith scoffed. Another message came in. 

But in all seriousness, is that okay? I realize I didn't ask and now I feel bad 😭

Keith bit his lip and looked up at the mirror. The way the hickeys bloomed across his pale skin so clearly reminded Keith of the way Lance had draped over him, working against his throat in a way that made Keith feel like he was being worshipped. He ran a finger over them, humming when one particularly dark one gave him a small burst of pain at the pressure. 

You're good. I like them. 

He put his phone away and went into a stall to change his clothes, throwing the torn shirt away. He left and started working on homework at the school cafe before his class. 

By the time he got to his class, he was struggling with staying out of that space that led to him thinking and doubting. He knew what Shiro would say. He’d say Keith should talk to Lance. To tell him what happened so Lance could understand the reason Keith became withdrawn, so he could understand the insecurities. 

Yeah, that was the logical thing. But it wasn’t that easy. Keith didn’t like the idea of laying out his insecurities to someone. He didn’t want to talk about it. Not about Roland, not about…. Keith didn’t want that past seeping into his life.

Somehow he made it through the class. He only had one other class that day, and after that, he had a good break until he had to go to his next dance practice. And with his hands still feeling a little sore from the fight, as soon as the last class was over, he found himself driving his motorcycle to the gas station. 

He went around the back and sat on the floor, staring at the graffiti again. 

His eyes went to the dragon, its jaw gaping wide, teeth sharp and gleaming. He remembered the day the piece was finished and he’d stood there beside him, staring up at it in awe. A hand had slipped into his, smeared with colors, smelling sharply of spray paint.

This one’s you because you’ve got a fire in you. You’re full of power and strength. And you’re hot, of course. 

Keith had laughed at that. And he’d looked back up at the dragon, feeling empowered. Because someone saw him that way. Someone saw him as a person who was strong. Someone saw him as a dragon. 

When he’d been with Roland, he’d felt those empowered moments again. When Roland turned to him for solace, when Keith had encouraged him to dance so he had something to do, when one of their dances became a flirtatious game until that first kiss inevitably happened. Empowered because Roland was risking everything to be with Keith, when in reality he was just ashamed of Keith. Of course, Keith didn’t know that then. 

In all honesty, Keith had no idea why he always came to see the dragon and the griffin. It was a good memory of a bad person, and he knew that. He knew that entire relationship had been unhealthy. It had strained his relationship with Shiro horribly. But then made it stronger. And it led him to dance. So maybe it that was why. Maybe he just need a reminder that something good could come from something horrible. 

His phone started buzzing, a funny picture of Shiro lighting up the screen. He answered, still staring at the wall. “Hey, Keith, are you coming home today or heading to Lance’s?” 

“Uh, home. Why?” 

“I’m making dinner and Adam’s coming over later. Just wanted to be sure on how much to make.” There was a pause before he added, “You okay? You sound off.” 

“I’m good.” 

Another pause. “Are you where I think you are? What happened?” 

“I gotta go. Dance practice is gonna start soon. Let you know when I’m on my way home.” 

There was a resigned sigh on Shiro’s end. “Okay. I love you, Keith.” 

Keith shut his eyes and smiled. “Yeah. I love you too, Shiro. Stop worrying.” 

“You’re my brother. It’s my job. Bye.” 

Keith hung up and wondered if he’d ever stop coming here. He knew that would be the smart thing to do. To stop coming back to this, to him. But looking at that dragon always made him feel stronger. Made him remember what was seen in him at some point. 

He got up and grabbed his motorcycle to head back to campus, ready to let the stress dissipate with dance. Sure enough, Alexa had him going over their dance multiple times, enough to make him unable to focus on anything but the movements, on anything but the beat in his head. Roland was there with a few butterfly stitches on his nose, his face bruised and the tear of his lip looking painful. He shrugged off any questions about what had happened, not bothering to even look in Keith’s direction. Part of Keith felt guilty. The other part, not so much. 

By the time he got home, he was exhausted and hungry. Adam was sitting at the kitchen table, smiling at him as he came in. Once Keith got close enough to greet properly, Adam whistled and tilted his chin up. “Wow. That’s… going to take forever to go away.” 

“You would know,” Keith said, playfully shoving his hand away. 

“I’m gonna pretend I don’t see those,” Shiro said coming in with plates of food. “How was your day? No bullshit.” Keith huffed and shrugged. “You went to that gas station, didn’t you?” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“Oh but I do. You would’ve said no otherwise.” 

Keith narrowed his eyes and plopped down to eat. Shiro knew Keith didn’t like lying to him. Because of it, he’d figured out all of Keith’s loopholes. Adam sat down, one eyebrow raised as he watched the interaction.

“Doesn’t matter. I just go there to think. Nothing else.”

There was a beat of silence, filled with clinking silverware before Shiro asked, “What happened to your hand?”

Keith clenched his fist and shook his head. “Don’t want to talk about it.” Shiro dropped it. Keith knew it was only being dropped because Adam was there. Keith didn’t mind talking to Shiro. Shiro had proven a long time ago that he would always be there for Keith, that he would always be honest with him, and be someone Keith trusted. While Adam was great, and his relationship with Shiro was going on to a year, Keith wasn’t fully comfortable with him yet. 

“You have your dance performance this week right?” Adam asked. That was another good thing about Adam. He knew how to maneuver conversations between the two of them better than most people. Keith nodded and just like that, the conversation became easier, filled with jokes and laughter that allowed Keith to forget the rest of the day’s events. 

Watching Adam and Shiro together gave Keith a bittersweet feeling. He loved how happy Shiro looked with him. Loved how a different, softer side of Shiro came out around Adam. The thing was, Keith wondered if he would ever reach that stage with someone. He was so terrified of trusting anyone the way these two trusted each other. He had no idea what would happen if the two of them ended up splitting up down the road. He couldn’t fathom it when he was watching them fight over chocolate covered almonds on the couch. He was both jealous of the way things were so easy for them, but also wary because his cynicism made him expect a break up and the last thing he wanted was for Shiro to feel what he had felt. 

Meanwhile, a more hopeful part of him began imagining himself fighting over chocolate covered almonds with Lance, imagined it ending in soft kisses because Lance was good at those, imagined being able to hold him and be held by him without that small voice in the back of his head telling him his time was limited. 

Then he snapped himself out of the reverie and focused on the homework in his lap, while Adam and Shiro commented on the TV show like prestigious film critics. 

A couple hours later, Adam left, promising Keith he’d be at the dance performance and giving Shiro a quick kiss before heading out. As the door shut, Shiro made his way over to the couch Keith was sprawled over and nudged his foot. 

“Hey. Can we talk?” 

Keith put his stuff aside and looked at Shiro expectantly. “About?” 

“Why your hand is messed up. Why you went to the gas station.” Keith sighed and stared at his hand. “Come on, Keith. Talk to me.” 

He looked back up at Shiro and shrugged. “I hit Roland.” Shiro's eyebrows went up in surprise. Keith and Roland had been on the same dance team for a long time now. It never led to a fight. Resigned, Keith started from the beginning, explaining why Roland cornered him in the bathroom and how it escalated. As he spoke, he could see Shiro getting upset as well. 

“Who the hell does he think he is? He makes you out to be some male succubus when he's the one who-” 

“I have the reputation for a reason, don't I? You said it yourself, Shiro, I keep doing this to myself-” 

“Hey, no! No, Keith I never meant to make you think that. You know I don't think that.” Shiro nudged him aside and squeezed into the space beside him, making Keith huff as half of his personal space was invaded. “Listen to me, Keith. You're a good person. And as much as you don't want to admit it, you love hard. It might take time for you to love someone, but when you do, you love in the most unconditional way I've ever known. That's why you got so hurt with those idiots.” 

“Yeah, well I'm done getting hurt, thank you very much.” Shiro rolled his eyes and elbowed him. “Ow-hey!” 

“Can I finish?” Keith rolled his eyes and made a dramatic gesture with his hand for Shiro to continue. “Look, I don’t know if something I said before threw you off or if that fucking jackass got in your head or if it’s the fact that you keep going to see that damn graffiti, but…. I know you don’t depend on a relationship to make you happy, right?” 

“I don’t need one,” Keith confirmed. “I learned my lesson. Depending on someone to be happy doesn’t get me anywhere.” 

“That’s the thing, Keith.” Keith looked at him with an arched eyebrow. “I mean, it’s great that you’re not at that extreme, but… now you’re on the other end of that extreme. And that’s just as unhealthy.” Keith crossed his arms and stared at Shiro in disbelief, not entirely understanding. “You’re so aware of how bad it is to feel like you need a relationship to be happy, that now you’re kind of doing the opposite and pushing the idea away completely. There’s a gray area, you know? A place where you can be open to having someone in your life without letting your life revolve around them. It’s okay for a person to make you happy, as long as they’re not the only person who can make you happy.” 

“I know that,” Keith muttered. 

He thought of that first date and how much Lance had made him laugh. Of how ridiculous it had been when they were practically trying to tear the air hockey table in two with how hard they hit the puck. How pleased Keith had been with the look on Lance’s face when he realized Keith danced. Or even just the day before how happy he’d felt sharing a pizza and playing with his hair and…. Just being near him. 

He took a deep breath and looked at Shiro. “I’m just tired of getting my hopes up only to get my heart broken. It’s too much.” 

“You’re only 21, Keith,” Shiro said gently. “That’s the thing with relationships. It’s gonna be heartbreak after heartbreak until it isn’t. It’s not going to work out until it does. That’s the point of looking for someone to be with.” Shiro raised an eyebrow and tilted Keith head up by the chin with a finger. “And I’m just saying, it looks like you had no problem with the idea yesterday.” 

Keith swatted his hand away and got up from the couch. “Dammit, Shiro! We were having a moment.” Shiro laughed and shrugged, snugly taking up the couch. “I don’t know. It’s weird with Lance. I’m away from him and I tell myself that’s it. I don’t need him, I don’t want him, I’ll stop seeing him. Then when I’m with him, or he texts me some random thing about the stars or a funny picture, I just….” Keith waved his hands around, unable to find the words. “I start to think it could work out this time. But that’s stupid!” 

“ You’re 21! You get to be stupid! Adam and I are 25 and we’re still stupid!” Keith rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. “You know what would really help both you and Lance out with this? Talking. Tell him about Roland, tell him about the graffiti, tell him that you’re feeling these things. Otherwise it really won’t work, but it’ll be because you’re the one doing the heartbreak.” 

For some reason the idea of breaking Lance’s heart made something twist painfully in Keith’s chest. He grimaced and shook his head. “Maybe. It’s too early for me to tell him, I mean…. I haven’t even told him about Mom. And that’s not even a bad thing, it’s just… complicated.” 

Before Shiro could answer, Keith felt his phone start vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out, half listening to what Shiro began to say before his heart leapt to his throat at Lance’s name on the screen. He answered, ignoring the look Shiro gave him. 

“Hey! Busy?” Lance asked. 

“No. I was just watching TV. What’s up?” Shiro raised his hands in exasperation, and Keith scoffed. 

“Nothing, it’s just been a rough day. Wanted to hear your voice.” Keith hated how that made warmth bloom in his chest. “How’s your day been?” 

“Um….” Keith looked at his knuckles and winced. “It’s a Monday.” Lance laughed aloud and agreed. Keith gave Shiro a feeble wave as he went to his room and sat by the window as he talked. “Everyone on my dance team wants to know who attacked my neck though.” 

“In my defense, I didn’t think it’d be that bad.” 

“You do realize my skin is really white, right?” 

Lance laughed again and Keith noticed a faint, transparent reflection of himself smiling widely in the window. He felt embarrassed with himself, but at the same time…. The feeling was nice, and it had been a long time since he’d felt it. The jittery nervousness of a new crush. If he couldn’t quite fight it, he wanted to at least try to enjoy it. At least for now. 

Chapter Text

He knew he was dreaming the moment he saw her sitting beside him. In those washed out jeans and that baby blue sweater with large sleeves, saying something about the birds that she was feeding remnants of churro crumbs. 

But the second he reached out to touch her, to make her look at him, Lance woke up felt the onslaught of varying emotions. 

It was Wednesday, which meant Keith would be dancing today. That wouldn't be until later. They had been talking throughout the week with occasional texts, but Lance called at night in hopes that talking to Keith would help him sleep better. And in a way it had. He just felt bad about indirectly using Keith that way.

Lance didn’t want to go to Keith’s performance with her on his mind, but he knew he’d talked Pidge and Hunk’s ears off about this before. He didn’t want to go down that road again, didn’t want to make it seem like he was back at square one. He wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t. He just needed to talk it out, just this time, not with his best friends. 

He reached for his phone and smiled a bit at the last message Keith had sent him last night, just before he’d fallen asleep. A simple, good night pretty boy that still managed to send warmth flooding his cheeks. It felt comforting. 

He took a deep breath and scrolled through his contacts until he found the name he was looking for. He swallowed down the anxiety building in him as the phone rang until one ring was cut off. 

“Lance?” a soft, worried voice answered.

Lance let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Hey, Romelle.”

“Are you alright? I haven’t heard from you… in a long time.” 

Lance laughed humorlessly at that and nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Yeah, I know. I was just… wondering if we could meet up and talk? I can pick you up, I don’t have anywhere to be until later.” 

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be near the music store and the cafe.” 

“Okay. I’ll tell you when I’m close.” She hung up and Lance pulled on some jeans and a hoodie. It was nearly an hour’s drive, but that didn’t matter at that moment. He was going to explode if he didn’t do something.

He knew confiding in Keith was another option, probably a better one. Everything was still so new with him though. The last thing Lance wanted was to drive him away with the weight of his own past, especially when it was clear Keith was dealing with his own. 

Besides, when Keith was with him, he at least felt calmer. If Lance told him about the dreams, about what happened, then that would always be between them. It was far too early in their… sort-of relationship to do that. Lance wasn’t even entirely sure what they were for each other. 

Which was why he drove for nearly an hour to find Romelle. When he was close, he let her know and she said she’d meet him at the cafe. He found her almost immediately, her long, sun-kissed hair looking like it was glowing under the sun. As soon as she saw him, she stood up, and Lance rushed forward to hug her. 

She let out a small surprised huff before hugging him back. “Are you sure you're alright?” she asked gently, pulling away and searching his face. 

He sighed and sat down, uncertain of how to start. He looked down at the table and scoffed. “I'm sorry. I know it's been a long time. It's just… I don't even know how to-” He groaned and ran his hand through his hair. Romelle touched his arm lightly and gave him a reassuring smile. “I'm sort of seeing someone.” 

“Oh?” Her eyebrow arched. She was obviously taken by surprise, not expecting this as the topic at hand. “Haven't you been seeing girls for some time now?” 

He shook his head and rubbed his temples in frustration. “Not… seriously. Just fun nights or flirty meet ups.” She hummed and he laughed softly at the disapproving tone. “This time though… it's the first time I want to be serious again since….” He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He hadn't come out really to anyone but Pidge and Hunk. He looked at her and gave a sheepish smile. “His name is Keith.”

Her eyes widened only slightly before she composed herself. She reached out to take a sip from whatever was in her lipstick stained mug and Lance could feel his heart pounding obnoxiously through his whole body. “What's different this time?” she asked, finally. “Why do you want to be serious with him after all the flings? And no offense, but why did that warrant you coming all the way here to talk to me?” 

The wind blew a little stronger and gave Lance an excuse to curl into himself. He tried to organize his thoughts but he felt like he was suffocating. So he decided to just be honest. To just spit it out and say it. 

“Because I’m dreaming of her again. Because I feel like I’m not allowed to move on even though it’s been so long. Because I’m scared she won’t leave me alone and I won’t even be able to be happy with Keith.” 

Across the table, Romelle sighed. She slid her hand across the table to get him to look at her. “What can I do?” she asked helplessly. “Give you my blessing? I’m not her, Lance. But I think I knew my cousin well enough to know she’d want you to be happy.” 

Lance ran a hand through his hair and fought past the knot in his throat. “Pidge and Hunk didn’t know Allura for that long. They didn’t know her like I did. How… how do you go through your life with her just… always being gone?” He felt himself getting agitated and he lowered his voice, not wanting to draw attention to themselves. “I thought I was fine, I mourned, I let myself laugh again, I met other people. Then out of nowhere she- she’s in my dreams, and she’s smiling at me and laughing at me and talking about birds and-” He took a sharp breath, hating the way his voice broke. Hating the way Romelle’s eyes filled with tears. “I don’t want this getting in the way of what I’m building with Keith. He means a lot to me, and I don’t want him to feel like I mean that any less.” 

Romelle chuckled and looked up to blink the tears away. “I don’t think he would take it that way.” Lance scoffed because he knew Keith. He already had his doubts about Lance. Telling him about Allura could make it so much worse. “Lance. It isn’t easy getting over a death. Of course I still feel her absence. She was like my sister. If it worries you that much, then maybe just take these slow with this boy.” 

Lance couldn’t help but laugh at that. It’s what everyone was suggesting. The thing was, even if they hadn’t been giving him that advice, Lance would have had no choice but to take things slow with Keith. Ironic as it was with the way they started. “I know that. I plan to. I just….” 

“You feel guilty for moving on.” Lance nodded and put his head in his hands. “Lance, Allura would be more than ecstatic to know you’re happy with someone. You were there for her through everything, you think she wouldn’t want you to have someone in your life?” 

Logically that made sense. Lance believed that with all his heart. He knew she would want him to be happy, because she loved him, because she would say it over and over near the end of her life, no matter how badly it made Lance cry and hold on to her. “It just feels like… if I let myself fall for someone else… it’ll somehow make what I felt for her… less?” 

She grabbed his hand between both of hers, gripping them tightly. Now a few stray tears had made their way down her cheeks, making her eyes glisten. “That is far from the truth, Lance,” she said softly, but urgently. “Believe me when I say that no one could have ever loved her the way you did. And letting yourself have a chance to fall in love with someone new wouldn’t mean you loved her any less. It just means you are loving more. And I think that having that much space in your heart for people says a lot about you. It’s part of why she loved you, I think.” 

At that point, Lance could feel the way his tears spilled freely over his cheeks, sniffing constantly, unable to even say anything more. Everything was a half-thought, a sentence he couldn’t say aloud because his body was too focused on the crying. Thoughts of love, thoughts of mourning, of hope and uncertainty, of nostalgia.

He loved Allura so much, and losing her hurt. But he wanted to open up to Keith. Wanted to be able to make space in his heart, to be able to share his love without one diminishing another in the future. If he could love his mama and papa both so much without either love overshadowing the other, if he could do the same with Hunk and Pidge, then didn’t that mean he could do that for Keith and Allura one day? Hold the love he held for her in his heart while still letting himself love someone else, however far in the future it may be, whoever that love may be for?

“It’s okay to miss her still,” Romelle murmured, handing him a napkin. “But don’t feel guilty for wanting to let someone into your life.” Lance sighed and wiped at his face, trying to keep his gaze down so others didn’t see him falling apart. “Tell me about him. Keith, right? What’s he like?” 

What was Keith like? Lance hadn't known him long, and yet he didn't know where to start. He had so much to say about him, all the things about Keith that fascinated him and made butterflies burst in his stomach. 

“He's incredible. He's so passionate and he's funny and he's unfairly attractive and his voice is so warm and it's easy to make him mad, but it's easy to bring him back, and I love talking to him because I like seeing the way his eyes light up when he's excited, the way his body starts to relax and open because he's so caught up he forgets to be on guard and the little blush when he realizes it.” 

Lance realized his heart was pounding, his cheeks burning just talking about Keith. Romelle was giving him a kind smile, encouraging and empathetic. So he kept talking. 

“He likes dancing and he's really smart. He's, like… kind of obsessed with Dr. House. And I think he's one of the most genuine people I've ever met. He doesn't put up with anyone's shit, and he's not afraid to say what he thinks… sometimes at least.” He shrugged and started cracking his knuckles just to have something to do. “I really like him.” 

She smiled and touched his cheek gently. “He sounds wonderful. And I think you should be excited to give this a chance.” Romelle pulled back and raised an eyebrow. “I do think you should tell him about… what's going on in your head. Maybe not right away, but definitely build to it. It could help both of you.” 

Lance nodded, but it was easier said than done. How exactly do you bring up the dead girlfriend to the potential boyfriend without it being… awkward? The good thing was that talking to Romelle really did help. It gave Lance a little more peace of mind. He knew she would understand because Romelle was the only one who was as close if not closer to Allura as him. Well, her uncle too, but Romelle knew Lance and Allura’s relationship better. It helped to know he wasn't the only one still missing her. Helped to hear that he was allowed to fall for someone new. 

“Okay, well, how have you been? The last thing I want is to have ruined your day in talking about this. I haven't seen you in so long, what's been going on with you?” he asked, wanting to return to normalcy. To a place where he and Romelle could laugh about radio songs and creepy commercials or joke about the fact that all the stores were stocking for Christmas when Halloween hadn't even passed yet. 

After a couple hours of much lighter conversation which worked to soothe Lance further, he thanked Romelle and promised to stay in touch more often. He wanted to be back in time to see Keith before his performance, and the drive back would be over an hour because of traffic time. 

By the time he got back and managed to get food in his system, it was half till five and the performance started at seven. 

He pulled out his phone to see if Keith was available, sending a quick text asking what he was doing. He was lounging on his couch, waiting for an answer for half an hour before his phone buzzed. 

@rehearsal sry on break now whatsup

Lance frowned and sent back another text. Where do ya usually rehearse? 

Surprisingly, this time Keith answered a little quicker. Main building third floor ballrooms. Why?

Is it cool if I come see you before you go on?

This time there was a longer pause before Lance got a response. Breaks over dunno if i’ll get a chance to talk, but you’ll be able to get closer seats. Gtg see you later. 

Maybe Lance was thinking too much into it, but the texts felt impersonal, uncaring maybe. He didn’t want to show up and be a disturbance to his practices. But he did want that front row seat. 

--

When Lance got to the college, he had to look up which one the main building was. When he saw it, he figured it made sense it was the tallest building, however small in comparison to the others. He went inside and found a help desk immediately available. Lance knew it was the third floor, but he figured he might as well ask to be sure. 

Sure enough, the girl at the desk told him to go to the third floor, but to wait in the lounge area because the space was still not open for seating. Lance thanked her and took the elevator, marveling at the sleek design of the elevator and how everything looked so shiny. It smelled like paint too, so Lance figured it must have been redone recently. 

When he got off on the third floor, he saw a hallway lined with small couches and low tables. He walked and saw a few doors to the left, all closed with empty tables outside already advertising the performance. He could hear muffled music and someone shouting the counts. Lance turned and saw the small lounge area right across from the doors and decided to splay himself across the couch in the meantime. 

He sent Hunk and Pidge a message that he was there already, and that it would be much appreciated if they kept him company so he didn’t look so awkwardly out of place. Pidge responded she’d be out of class in fifteen minutes, and while Hunk didn’t answer, Pidge said Hunk would be out in another hour. 

Lance decided to watch videos on his phone to pass the time as he hummed to the rhythm of the song playing. He heard a door open, the sound of the music flaring for a moment. He popped his head up and saw a girl in spandex leggings and sports bra leaving the ballroom and walking down the hall. A few minutes later she came back, stopped at the water fountain, then went back inside, another flare of music freed from the space. 

Lance was pulling himself up into a sitting position, checking the time when the door opened again.This time when he looked up, he saw a familiar face that made his entire body feel like it was sparking. Amethyst eyes settled on him, slightly surprised as a small smile settled on his lips. 

“You came.” He walked nearer until he was standing in front of Lance. Lance forgot how to speak. He hadn’t physically seen Keith since he was at his house, and he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed him. The feeling was so intense, it took Lance by surprise. “You okay?” 

“Yeah! Yeah, I am,” he finally said. He stood up, giving Keith a sheepish smile. His hair was in a ponytail at the nape of his neck and a black headband was keeping the rest of his hair out of his face. His skin glistened only slightly with sweat, and he was wearing sweatpants and muscle shirt with the sides cut wide. He was barefoot and his face was flushed and he just looked so ridiculously attractive in something that Lance could never dream of pulling off. “I missed you.” 

Almost immediately, Keith’s face turned bright red, blooming from the apples of his cheeks to his neck. He chuckled and shook his head. “We talked on the phone last night.” 

“Yeah, but… I can’t see you on the phone. More importantly, I can’t do this.” Lance cupped his face and pulled into a gentle kiss, moving slowly so he wouldn’t be taken too off guard, so he had time to say no if he didn’t want Lance kissing him. 

But Keith responded by kissing him back, laughing lightly through his nose. “Mm. You’re corny.” Lance rolled his eyes at that and Keith laughed again. 

“Were you going to the bathroom or something?” 

Keith shook his head. “No, but one of the dancers came in and mentioned someone was already here, and after you texted, I figured it might be you. So I said I was going to the bathroom to see if I was right.” He arched an eyebrow at Lance and smirked. “This thing isn’t starting for another like hour and a half.” 

“I wanted a good seat,” he answered with a pout. Keith laughed and looked at him with that knee-weakening smile that made his nose scrunch up. Then his eyes flickered to Lance’s lips and he hesitated for a moment. Lance was about to lean into him, but Keith beat him to the punch, wrapping his arm around him to pull him closer and kiss him. Lance felt his entire body spark. “Whoa.” 

Keith ran his thumb along Lance’s lower lip and smirked. “I should get back inside.” Lance made a hum of disapproval which made Keith’s smile widen. “I’m... really glad you came, Lance.” 

Lance responded with another kiss, hoping to keep him for a while longer. 

“Your gay is showing,” he heard a familiar voice say, making them split apart. They looked over at Pidge who was staring at them with a smug look. “Looks like you have all the company you need, buddy.” 

“Hey, Pidge,” Keith answered, blushing worse than before. “I actually have to get back inside. Thanks for being here, by the way.” Pidge smiled and nodded. Keith turned back to Lance. “I’ll see you later okay?” 

Lance nodded and Keith started to leave. But Lance reached for his hand and yanked him back, kissing him one more time, one hand at the nape of his neck, the other still holding his wrist. He pulled back and Keith stared at him with wide eyes. “Break a leg, babe.” 

Keith flushed and smiled widely, sheepish and flustered as he nodded, walking back to the ballroom with uncertain steps until he opened the door and ducked back inside. 

“God, you’re so gay and so cliche,” Pidge said with a snort as she settled on the couch. 

“Oh, shut up. Cliches are fun. Besides, I don’t think Keith has ever had someone be cliche romantic with him, he’s always kind of taken by surprise when I do it.” Pidge hummed and pulled out some homework she had. “We have a date later this week. I’m gonna make the most cliche, straight out of a teen romance novel date ever.”

Pidge laughed at that. “I don’t doubt that you’ll pull it off.” Lance kept watching videos as Pidge worked on her homework, both of them waiting on Hunk to get out of class. 

As he waited, he got a text from his sister. 

Hey flaco we haven't heard from you!!! Tf?? 😒 

He laughed and quickly typed back, sorry chaparra been busy with school and stuff I'll call mami later 

They continued to text, catching up briefly and Lance considered telling her about Keith. Veronica had always been someone Lance could turn to when he wanted serious emotional venting. He always turned to Marco for help with girls and Luis was more like a partner in crime, being the closest in age to Lance. His brothers didn't mind being serious or emotional, but that was usually in dire situations, and frankly…. He wasn't sure how they'd take the fact that Lance was seeing another guy. 

Veronica, however, had always been a little more open. A little kinder. Lance could tell her about stupid things and things he was embarrassed about and she wouldn't laugh at him. When it came to something as serious as a relationship, he was certain she wouldn't turn him away. But would she tell their parents? 

That opened a whole new set of questions. Lance had to figure out how to tell his parents and how to deal with however they dealt with it and when to tell them and…. It was rough. He could go home any day, but he didn't want it to seem like he was only visiting to tell them he was seeing a boy. And doing it during one of the holidays scared him because if they took it badly, those holidays would be ruined forever. 

He felt a shoe nudging his side and looked over at Pidge. “Stop biting your nails and tell me what you're thinking about. Unless it's sex then just say it's sex and we'll leave it at that.” 

Lance rolled his eyes and told her about the questions rummaging through his head. Her expression turned slightly more solemn, the way it did when she was ready to be serious instead of playful and teasing. 

“I think if you told Veronica not to say anything, she would respect that. And I think she would take it well. Wasn't she in GSA in high school?” 

“Yeah, but it's different saying you support the decisions of strangers and friends who've known who they are since they were like… five and saying you support your little brother who took almost 21 years to figure it out.” Pidge narrowed her eyes, lips pursing into a line. “It's always different when you're living with something than when you just see it.” 

“But she's your sister. She's always loved you a lot, and I don't think the fact that you like Keith now is gonna change that. As for your parents, they're not super typical Hispanic parents from what I know. I don't know if they'll be jumping with joy, and it might take them some time for it to settle, but ultimately, they love you too and would want you to be happy.” Lance tried not to shudder at the echo of his conversation with Romelle. “There's also the fact that you aren't obligated to tell them anything.” 

“No, I want to. I want to tell them so they can meet him and I can show Keith I'm serious about him and I can bring him to dinner for Easter or something.” 

“Wow you've thought ahead. Got a wedding date set too?” Lance glared at her and she cleared her throat, returning to her more serious tone. “Okay, well when you say you want to tell them, is it for you or is it for Keith? Because I don't think you should want to just to prove something to him.” 

At that, Lance hesitated. Was he allowed to say both? Of course he wanted to tell his parents. He didn’t want to keep secrets from them, especially about something this important. It was one thing not to tell them he’s had sex or that he drinks away from home despite being underage still. It’s another not to tell them about an actual person of importance in his life. He wanted to be able to gush about him and ask for advice like he had when he was into Allura. 

He also really wanted to show Keith that he meant what he’d said before. Show Keith that he was worth telling his parents about, that he wouldn’t be a secret. 

“I want to tell them for both of us. Maybe if I’m casual about it they can be too.” 

Pidge shrugged and smiled at him. “Maybe. I’m sure it’ll mean something that this is the first time you’re invested in someone since… you know.” 

“You can say it, Pidge. It’s not a bad omen, and it’s not some forbidden thing. Allura’s death. Yeah. If we keep skirting around it, it’s like we’re trying to make it seem like it never happened. Like she was never here.” He clenched his jaw and looked away, the tension leaving him slowly as the silence went on. 

He felt a hand on his forearm. “Hey, I’m sorry. You’re right. I just… I guess I just also don’t want you to let this relationship revolve around or in the shadow of the one you had with… Allura.” 

“I won’t. Keith is his own person, and our dynamic is already so different, it’s not like… I’m comparing them or anything. It’s just… weird because the dreams make the memory of the emotions come back up and I get confused and….” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m here for Keith. I want to focus on him right now.” 

Pidge nodded and gave a smile along with a reassuring squeeze on his forearm. She leaned back and returned to her homework. “Hunk said he’s out of class, he’ll be here soon,” she said, casually. Lance felt the awkward air around them dissipate. 

He returned to his phone, scrolling through it, when the doors to the ballroom opened and people started coming out. It wasn’t too many people, but they were all dressed in various workout clothes or some sort of stylish baggy clothes. The dancing aesthetic Lance saw from movies like Step Up or something. What he enjoyed was that their physiques weren’t what he saw in movies. 

They weren’t all workout-fifteen-hours-a-day and eat-only-a-leaf thin and built. The ones with their stomach showing didn’t exactly have toned abs or anything. It made it feel more real, in a way for Lance. Like he wasn’t about to watch movie stars, but actual people with real passion for dancing. 

And among them was Keith, pulling the elastic band from his hair, eyes flitting over to him. He gave him a slight smile and Lance waved at him, feeling his heart stutter. Keith peeled away from the group who seemed to be going into various rooms on the other end of the hallway. 

“Hey, you guys should be able to go in now. Everyone’s getting into their clothes and makeup.”

“Hunk will be here soon, so we’ll go in when he gets here,” Pidge said. 

Keith nodded and blushed slightly. “Okay, so I gotta go get changed and stuff. I’ll see you guys soon, I hope you enjoy the performances.” He started to turn away before he backtracked and kissed Lance on the cheek. He hurried away immediately after and Lance could see how red the tip of his ear was even from where he stood. 

Pidge clicked her tongue and nudged Lance. “You two are actual middle schoolers.” Lance rolled his eyes and nudged her back. 

Shortly after, Hunk was coming down the hallway and stopping at the lounge area to greet them. It was still half an hour before the show, and he’d come with drinks from the cafe and muffins for each of them. 

They went into the ballroom and saw the space lined with chairs, all turning in a sort of semi-circle to face a stage that seemed to be elevated about a foot high. It was pretty wide, reminding Lance of what his high school stage looked like, except this one was built with various pieces. 

The half hour passed quickly with Hunk and Pidge to talk to. People had begun to trickle in about ten minutes after they had claimed three front row seats in the center. Five minutes til, the seats were mostly all taken. People kept coming in, but a minute til starring the doors were closed and people couldn't come in anymore. 

A familiar face took the stage, doing a double take at the sight of them in the first row. 

“You didn't say your mom was a dance teacher,” Lance whispered. 

Pidge shrugged. “She does it on her offtime. She mostly teaches plant biology and microbiology.” 

“Alright, hello everyone! First I want to thank all of you for coming out to support this group of amazing and talented people. They’ve worked so hard to be able to perform this for you all, and if you enjoy the performance, please come out and support us in competition! We’ll be selling tickets in the booth outside the doors as well as small handmade things like handmade bracelets and necklaces for our fund. Donations are appreciated too, though.” Lance mused over buying one for his mom and sister. “Lastly, if you need to leave for the bathroom, I ask that you please wait for the time between acts. We will be opening the doors to allow late arrivals and allowing you all to go to the bathroom. This way performances can go unbothered. Of course, please keep your phone on silent or completely off. If I hear one, I will stop the performance and ask whoever it is to leave.” Lance raised an eyebrow and looked at Pidge. She nodded, her eyes comically wide to show just how serious her mom was about this. “I hope you all enjoy the performances, and without further ado, please welcome Leah and Harry!” 

There was some polite applause, and Lance quietly asked to see the program the person beside him had. There were six pairs going up, and Keith was the fourth one, along some girl named Alexa. After that they were supposed to perform as a group. 

He returned his attention to the stage after returning the program and watched as the two took their places on stage. The girl had a on a dress that fell to her shins in strips of netted cloth, low cut but simple and modest. It shimmered only slightly under the soft lights. The guy had on a normal button up and slacks. The song came on, and it was one Lance recognized from the radio immediately. 

Watching the performance was captivating. Especially being in the first row. Lance was on the edge of his seat, leg shaking to relieve the stress as he watched them move in perfect sync, twirling, spinning, jumping, their movements calculated but smooth. He watched Harry pick Leah up and twirl her around his body, watched him drag her back as she kicked, her face anguished. He watched the way the moved quickly and certainly, perfectly used to the space. He covered his mouth when Leah ran toward the edge of the stage, yanked back at the last second into an embrace that ended with her falling slack against Harry as he soothed her hair and the lights went down. 

“Holy shit,” he heard Hunk whisper as applause filled the room. The lights came up a little brighter for the two to bow and and hug each other. Lance heard the doors open and a few more people came in as the two dancers got off stage. Colleen came back on stage to announce the next pairing, this time two girls in flowing gossamer dresses. 

Lance was entranced from the start again. He didn’t know the song, but it was solemn, anguished, though upbeat, the vocals chilling. The girls moved like clones, graceful and light, their bodies open as they seemed to take up the entire stage. The next pair that went up was a girl and some guy that looked like he’d recently had some work done on his nose because of a patch on it. 

“What happened to Roland?” Pidge whispered. 

“Dunno. He was like that when I had him for class Monday. Worse actually, think he’s wearing makeup.” Hunk sped up the last bit of information because the lights were dimming again for the performance. 

Lance knew this song, and he watched, just as enraptured as before even if they had on more casual clothing. This one was a little more playful, a cute love story, touchy and full of smiles. It was only slightly broken by the sight of the patch. 

This time when the lights came up, Lance felt nerves tighten in his stomach. “Keith’s next, guys,” he whispered, moving further on the edge of the seat, even though he didn’t think it possible. His entire body felt coiled up and his heart was starting to pound. 

“Relax, Lance, you’re not the one performing,” Pidge said with a laugh. 

Lance rolled his eyes. Then the lights started dimming and he leaned his elbows on his knees, holding up on tightly interlocked hands. He saw the silhouettes moving to their spots, sitting in front of each other. 

The music started and Lance clenched his teeth hard. The girl was wearing a short, loose black dress with wide sides and an open back, a lacy bra topping it off. Keith was wearing torn black jeans, his torso totally bare. 

“God help me,” Lance muttered, and Pidge stifled a snort into her hand. 

The dance started with them mirroring each other, a lot of hand movements that slowly spread to include their legs and the rest of their bodies. Their legs intertwined before threading apart, holding on to each other to stand.

And then it got intricate. Lance watched as the girl- Alexa- twirled herself around Keith’s body until they were back to back and Keith lifted her up until she was practically on his shoulders. Her hands came down to hold his face and Keith’s eyes shut as he let her go and she slid down, her hands locked around him, sliding down with her body. A small twinge of jealousy sparked in Lance, but he ignored it, focusing on the dance.

It was fascinating to see Keith like this. He wasn’t acting it out as much as Alexa, but his face was still so concentrated, so gentle and pensive, it still gave off the vibes of the solemn song. The way his body moved so fluidy, the way his muscles flexed with each movement. He was so graceful, Lance couldn't help but sigh softly as he watched. And each time he lifted Alexa or carried both their body weight, Lance shivered a little. He knew Keith was strong, but with his lean frame, he didn't know he was that strong.  

He watched the way his hands slid along her body, certain and steady and he wished so badly it was him up there. Keith cupped her face and she shoved him away, until he was going after her to lift her up and Lance grasped the seat with his hands when Keith held her up over his head, one hand on her neck and the other on the back of her thigh. He turned in a circle, and Lance looked for any signs that he might be over exerting himself, but Keith seemed calm as ever as he let her shift her weight until she was draped over his shoulder. Keith flipped her over and Alexa let herself fall until she was in a split on the floor her arms intertwined with Keith's.

Lance put his hands to his hair, feeling his heartbeat hammer. Keith lifted her back up, spinning her as she kicked out, until suddenly she twisted and used the momentum to slam into Keith, clinging to him like a monkey. Keith staggered back in a way that was too measured to be real. It must have been part of the dance. Lance was sure it was when he stopped moving and slowly wrapped his arms around her. The music picked back up and then the most mind-blowing part. 

They began to reverse the entire choreography. It looked like someone had pressed rewind, on a VHS tape. Keith let go of her slowly, staggering forward this time until she let go and let him spin her again, the opposite way. Everything, every lift and every moment that Keith had to hold her weight on his legs or on his back was recreated backwards. 

It looked… stiffer than seeing it forward, and when Lance listened to the song, he figured that was the point. The rewind, the unease, the expressions on their faces. It seemed to all come together. Until they were back on the floor, their movements slowing from their bodies to their legs to just their hands until they ended as they started, even with the lights going down. 

The applause was deafening and Lance plopped back against his chair, feeling exhausted and awed and proud and… so many things. The lights came back up so Keith and Alexa could bow. Alexa had a small smile as she bowed. Keith’s was impassive. 

His eyes found Lance in the front and Lance could only dramatically widen his eyes and mouth the words holy shit. Keith chuckled at that, his face lighting up with his smile and Lance smiled back. He had half a mind to go up on the stage to kiss his stupidly cute face. Instead he started clapping with the others before the applause died down and watched them both go off stage. 

“Lance, buddy, they're opening the doors if you uh… need a bathroom break,” Hunk said. 

Pidge burst into laughter and Lance looked over, reaching over her to punch Hunk in the arm. He flinched back, laughing along with Pidge. “So… thoughts?” Pidge asked. 

“God, he could throw me like a ragdoll,” he muttered between his hands, just for his best friends to burst into laughter again. 

It took a while, but Lance was finally able to focus when the next performers were dancing. He was so flustered with the image of Keith on that stage, so confident and sure. He was good at what he did and he loved doing it, and Lance could tell just by watching him. 

Lance had seen Keith in a more reserved state, drawn into himself, not quite shy, just… closed off. Watching him dance was different. He had nothing to hold back, he was completely in his element, and Lance felt like he now knew some new part of him. 

When the full group was performing their two dances, Lance’s eyes were drawn to Keith, Alexa, and another guy with dark skin and incredible facial expressions the most. But mostly to Keith. Because Lance was very biased. Regardless, it was fascinating to watch a group of twelve people moving in sync, making chaos look organized, moving between and with each other like puzzle pieces. 

When the last song ended, everyone was cheering and clapping. But Lance was Hispanic, and in the front row; nobody cheered louder than him. Keith saw and heard him immediately, laughing and blushing at Lance’s volume. Alexa looked at him weirdly and then looked at Lance before nudging Keith and whispering something. Keith blushed more and nodded, which intrigued Lance. 

Colleen came back on stage, keeping the dancers in their spots for a final bow as she thanked everyone for coming out and being such a great audience. 

The doors opened and the dancers started hopping off the stage, greeting people who had arrived. Lance made a beeline for Keith despite Pidge and Hunk yelling for him to wait. 

As soon as he saw him, Lance shouted his name and put his hands against his face, pulling him into a kiss. “You were incredible.” Another kiss. Keith stammered as Lance pulled back. “I was on the edge of my seat-” another kiss, “the whole fucking time-” another kiss, “and it was fucking incredible!” Lance kissed him again, spurred on by the chuckles in between kisses and Keith smiling against his lips. 

“Um,” Keith said, pushing him back gently. “Thank you,” he said sheepishly. He turned to the people he’d been talking to and Lance realized with a flood of embarrassment that he’d just attacked Keith in front of Shiro and someone else. Shiro was staring at him with both eyebrows raised up, the other guy though was looking away awkwardly. “You know Shiro. This is Adam, Shiro’s boyfriend.” 

“Shit,” Lance said through a pained smile, greeting them. 

Adam laughed and looked at Shiro fleetingly. “I’ve heard about you. Lance, right?” Lance nodded, suddenly giddy about the fact that Keith talked about him when he wasn’t there. “It’s nice to put a face to a name.” 

“Jesus, Lance, fuck your long legs,” Pidge muttered as she came up to them with Hunk behind her. “Keith, you did such a great job!” 

“Yeah, you really did, and Lance here just about had an aneurysm,” Hunk added. Lance rolled his eyes, but Keith was just smiling like he couldn’t help it, touching his cheeks self-consciously. 

“Thank you guys so much. And thank you for coming. I gotta go get changed back to my normal clothes and help clean up the dressing rooms, but I’ll meet you guys back here in a bit.” He waved and walked away, using his hands to rub his cheeks. 

Suddenly Lance felt panicked. He wasn’t alone with Shiro, but the guy had also just watched Lance smother Keith in kisses like a touch-starved lunatic. Which yes, absolutely, but he didn’t need Shiro knowing that. 

“Oh, uh, this is Hunk and Pidge. My best friends,” Lance said. Shiro might know them, but he knew Adam didn't. “So-” 

Hunk interrupted, yelling after the guy with nose issue. He was helping take the stage apart, but he walked over when Hunk called his name. He must have had makeup on because now he looked even worse. His lip was swollen and he had a fading bruise along his cheekbone. 

Then something in his face changed at the sight of the others. He stopped walking and shrunk into himself. “Yeah?” 

“You did great up there,” Hunk said sincerely. And he was right. The guy had skill. But that wasn't what Hunk needed him for. “Dude, you gotta get me your part of the final project. You said-” 

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Roland answered, as he ducked his head, making his dirty blond hair fall in his face. “I'll get it done alright?” 

“I know that, but I don't want you halfassing either.” Lance winced, knowing that only someone really lazy could push Hunk to be so blunt. 

He turned to explain to Shiro and Adam who he was, but the words died in his throat when he saw the unbridled rage in Shiro’s expression, fixed completely on Roland. Adam was rubbing his arm subtly, but his gaze eyes were on the floor. Lance had no idea if Shiro liked him, but he prayed he never received the look he was giving Roland. 

Hunk was still talking to him, and Roland so obviously trying to get away. Lance was suddenly bursting with curiosity as to how Shiro and Roland knew each other. 

“Alright, alright, dude!” Roland finally snapped. He was red in the face and his eyes were flitting everywhere. Lance stood next to Pidge, feeling awkward and unsure. He didn't want Shiro’s anger directed at him once Roland was gone, so he hoped Keith got back soon. “I get it! I'll do the work, I'll email it tonight. I gotta go.” He didn't let Hunk respond before he was rushing off, to the far edge of the stage. 

Hunk turned back to the others and Lance risked a look at Shiro. Adam was whispering something, a stern look on his face. 

“I am,” Shiro said through grit teeth. He shut his eyes and Lance looked over at Hunk and Pidge who looked just as confused. “I'm gonna get some water.” Shiro walked away and Adam gave the others an awkward smile. 

“Does Shiro know Roland?” Pidge asked, having the guts to say what Lance couldn't. 

“Not really. It's… kind of complicated. It's fine, don't worry.” He smiled, a little more brightly this time. 

Thankfully, Keith came back then, wearing a black hoodie and dark jeans with unlaced boots. He was wiping his face and neck with a wipe, revealing the leftover shadows of hickies against his neck, relatively hidden with his hair and hoodie. 

“Alright, I'm free. Where'd Shiro go?” he said, standing near Lance, hesitantly threading their fingers together. It made Lance smile and his heart jumped. 

“He went to get some water. You coming back to the house or…?” 

Keith hesitated, and Lance quickly jumped to interfere. “We could get something to eat, if you want. If you don't have too much homework or anything.” 

Keith smiled and nodded. “That sounds good.” 

Shiro returned a second later, seemingly much calmer. “Ready to go, Keith?” 

“Uh, I'm gonna get food with these guys before I go home. Could you take my bike back for me?” 

Shiro smirked and nodded. He looked over at Lance, his gaze between something teasing and solemn. “Hope I'll actually get to know you one of these days, Lance. Keith doesn't shut up about you.” 

Hunk, Pidge, and Adam stifled laughter as Lance reeled from the levels of oh shit in that. Shiro wanted to get to know him? Soon? Keith talked about him? 

But Keith was snapping at Shiro, telling him to shut up as his face turned red. 

“Alright, we're going. Keys.” Keith scowled as he handed them over and Shiro tousled his hair playfully before taking Adam's hand and heading for the doors, waving goodbye. 

Lance turned to Keith with a smirk. But before he could say anything, Keith covered his mouth and scowled. “Don't even. Shh.” 

Lance laughed and pulled his hand away, leaning forward to kiss him instead, still smiling. 

“If we wait for them to stop smothering each other, we're gonna starve,” Hunk said, making Keith and Lance break apart. 

“Ah, shut up,” Lance said, blushing. “Okay, babe. Where do you wanna eat? You're the star tonight, it's your pick.” 

“I don't mind-” Hunk and Pidge started protesting insisting on Keith choosing a place he liked. As they talked, Lance couldn't help but search for Roland, wondering still what could've happened for Shiro to have reached the way he had. 

He saw him near the stage pieces, having stopped halfway from hauling one to a lift in favor of staring at Lance. His eyebrows narrowed, eyes skimming Lance up and down before he hefted the stage piece back up and started walking. It made Lance feel self conscious and he leaned further into Keith. 

Lance followed the guy with his eyes and saw as Roland looked back over his shoulder before leaving. He shook his head and walked out, leaving Lance unsettled. He looked at Keith who was laughing at something Pidge and Hunk had said, completely oblivious. And it clicked. 

He recalled the way Shiro had originally approached him after catching him leaving Keith’s room. With the way Roland seemed to size Lance up, the only connection was Keith. He wondered if maybe he’d figured out the ex. And if`so what had happened between them not only to make Keith so unsure about Lance, but to cause Shiro to get so angry. 

But Keith was happy right now. And he’d just finished a performance. Lance didn’t want to ruin that by trying to interrogate Keith about someone who was obviously a bad part of his past. 

“Alright, so where we headed?” 

“I’ve been craving What-A-Burger,” Keith admitted. 

“Sweet. What-A-Burger it is. We carpooling, or-?” 

“I can drive me and Hunk there. You take Keith. And please no pit stops.” 

Keith and Lance both blushed, but Lance was the one muttering to Pidge for her to shut up. They left the ballrooms and headed to the parking lot. Lance noticed that Keith’s hand was relatively loose in his own, and he seemed a bit skittish. 

He waited for Pidge and Hunk to get to her Cooper before he loosened his own hand a bit. “Do you not want me to hold your hand?” he asked, hoping his tone didn’t make Keith think he’d be offended. 

“I don’t mind…. I just don’t know if you want to or… if you’re just holding my hand because I started holding yours.” He shrugged, one eyebrow raised, but his face stoic. 

Lance chuckled and shook his head. “I got really happy when you decided to grab my hand. I don’t want to hide this. I don’t want to hide you.” Keith’s expression turned gentle, eyes focused on him fully. “I don’t know if me making out with you like a fucking maniac in front of your brother clued you in on that or not.” 

That made Keith burst into laughter and he pulled Lance closer, lips brushing against his cheek and down to his lips. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were ready to rip my clothes off then and there.” 

“Oh absolutely.” Keith laughed against his lips, playfully swiping his tongue across them. 

Suddenly they heard someone honking, making them jump. He turned to see a silver mini-cooper, the window rolled down as Hunk and Pidge looked at them with disbelief. “You guys haven’t even gotten to the car!” Pidge shouted. 

“Do we need to split you guys up?” Hunk added, his arm hanging out the window. 

“Haha, very funny. We’re going.” 

“We’re ordering whether you guys are there or not,” Pidge threatened. “You’ll have alone time when we finish eating.” Then she waved and drove off, blasting a song on the radio. 

“Are they like that with everyone?” Keith asked. Lance raised an eyebrow. “Like with everyone you like. Do they do the whole teasing thing?” 

“Oh.” Lance furrowed his eyebrows, not wanting to think about her with Keith there. Still, the memories of Hunk and Pidge’s teasing when Lance started getting invested in Allura surfaced, making him nostalgic in a bittersweet way. “Yeah. Kind of. But it doesn’t happen a lot.” Keith hummed and looked at him curiously, but didn’t say anything else. Lance wondered if he believed him. 

They walked over to Lance’s car, this time their hands a little more certain around the other’s. 

Lance gave Keith free reign of the music, unsurprised to hear Queen and other 80s rock playing. He liked hearing Keith sing along, his voice soft and raspy, easily flowing. He tapped his hands on his knees, imitating the drumbeat, and Lance couldn’t help but smile at that. 

They reached What-A-Burger, about a couple seconds after Hunk and Pidge, seeing as they were getting out of the car as Lance was parking his. Though this time, Keith didn’t move to hold his hand. He stayed near, their arms brushing, but his hand stayed in his jacket pocket. Lance told himself not to read into it. 

While they were eating, the conversation mostly consisted of Pidge and Hunk asking questions about the dances. About the routine of practice, about how they came up with the choreography, about what each dance was supposed to mean. They offered their input, Lance occasionally adding his two cents in, but mostly eating his burger and gauging Keith’s reactions. They’d been talking about each dance couple, just not in order. 

So Lance panicked when Roland was brought up, and he hoped they didn’t mention Shiro’s reaction. 

“He did pretty good, but I was kind of thrown off by the bandage. I gotta give the girl props for keeping a straight face,” Hunk mused. Keith chuckled at that, which confused Lance. It didn’t fit with his developing theory. Then again, Keith was good at expressing only the emotions he wanted to express. “I don’t know if this is too personal, but do he and Shiro-”

“So who was the girl you got paired with? Alexa? I saw her say something to you at the end to make you blush,” Lance said, stumbling over his words to drown out Hunk’s dying question. 

Keith looked uncomfortable and his eyes settled on Lance, not quite as warm as they had been before they got in the car. “Oh, yeah. She’s pretty cool. She’s been in dance about as long as me. She just asked if the guy making me laugh in the front row was the same one who made me show up to rehearsals Monday with my neck matching my eyes.” Despite the blasé tone, he was blushing, and in turn, Lance was blushing. 

Hunk chuckled and nodded. “They’re still pretty prominent, buddy.” 

“I know, but the concealer felt gross on my neck, so I wiped it off.” He shrugged. “They’ll go away soon enough.”

“Bold of you to assume Lance isn’t planning on replacing them,” Pidge snorted. Lance threw a fry at her, but she just grabbed it and stuffed it in her mouth. He didn’t say anything in response… she wasn’t wrong. 

Once they were done with their food, and had goofed off well after eating, they left. Pidge went to drop Hunk off and start homework. Meanwhile Lance took Keith back to his apartment at Keith’s request. He was a little nervous about what that meant, but he figured it would be a good time to talk a bit without Hunk and Pidge’s light teasing, and of course to make out without making a fool of himself in front of Shiro.

As they went inside, he noticed Keith looking around even though he'd seen the place before. Lance wasn't sure why his heart was beating so quickly and obnoxiously. 

“I was nervous,” Keith said suddenly. Lance cleared his throat and hummed inquisitively. “I mean, I'm always a little nervous before performing. It's a big deal. But I was… shaking when I walked up there. Knowing you were in the crowd.” Lance bit his lip and began to apologize. “Then I caught a glimpse of you. How you looked at me while I was up there.” He chuckled softly and turned around, crossing the room to stand in front of him. “I don't think anyone's ever looked at me that way before.” 

“You were hypnotizing, Keith. You're an amazing dancer, and… it means a lot to me that you invited me to watch.” Keith gave him a small smile. “Can I ask you something?” Keith tensed a bit, his eyes flickering up to look at him, his chin raising like he wanted to establish some sort of power over the moment. “Do you… like girls too? I realize I never actually asked your sexuality and I don't really fully know mine, but I sort of assumed-” 

“Wait. What?” Lance furrowed his eyebrows. “Aha. Um. No, I don't like girls. I'm gay.” Lance let out a breath of relief and Keith looked at him uncertainly. “Why?” 

Lance blushed and started messing with the laces of Keith's hoodie. “Just… the way you danced with Alexa was really touchy. Kind of intense.” He shrugged and looked off to the side. “I wasn't sure if you had a thing going there or if you guys are just that good at pretending for a dance.” 

A finger tilted Lance's face back and Keith arched an eyebrow, dark hair falling in his eyes. “You got jealous?” 

“No! No, no, no. Not jealous. Just…. Nervous I guess. I wasn't sure…. If you liked her then I thought…. I don't know.” Keith stared at him, waiting, but Lance didn't know how to voice it. 

Did he wish it had been him up there with Keith running his hands all over? Of course. But he hasn't been jealous. He just worried that if she wanted Keith too, she could get him faster because they already danced so well together and… it sounded childish, he knew. It was why he didn't want to speak much. 

He took a different route instead. “You're pretty strong, huh? Lifted her right over your head.” Keith smirked. “I don't know how she could stay so calm with you touching her like that.” 

“We're dancers. It's just part of it,” Keith whispered, partially sounding like an explanation, partially like a reassurance. Lance hummer and tilted his face toward Keith, asking for a kiss, but wanting Keith to initiate it. 

Thankfully, he took the hint and pressed a hand against Lance's face, tilting him further for a kiss. His mouth was soft, gentle due to some hesitancy rather than caution. Lance pressed further into it, parting his lips and slowly making his way past Keith's. When Lance put his hand at the nape of his neck to deepen the kiss, to taste his mouth properly and kiss him like he'd been dying to all week, Keith other hand pressed into his hip and pressed him back against the nearest wall. 

Lance grunted, only reacting by biting Keith's lower lip. He felt Keith using his body to keep him pinned as he leaned in to bite and suck at his neck. Lance gasped and ran his hands through his hair, grasping onto handfuls of soft raven locks as he tilted his head back. “Is this payback?” he moaned softly. 

Keith shushed him and let his hands travel down to Lance's thighs, hoisting him up in one go. Lance yelped and automatically wrapped his legs around him to keep from falling. Keith kept his hands under Lance's knees, holding him up. “Wanna tell me where your room is?” 

“Left door, hallway,” Lance whispered against his mouth, his head reeling. Keith didn't even stumble, didn't seem to strain himself at all as he took him to the room. Lance fumbled with the doorknob and Keith laughed as they got inside, kissing wherever their lips landed. 

Keith tossed him onto the bed and leaned over him, running his hands under Lance's shirt as he set to marking his neck. Lance squirmed and panted softly under him, wanting more than anything to be unravelled slowly by that mouth. 

Lance threaded their fingers together and brought his hand up to kiss his knuckles. When he opened his eyes, he noticed the slight discoloration and furrowed his eyebrows. “Babe, what happened?” he asked, running his thumb over the fading bruises. 

“Nothing,” Keith snapped a little too harshly, yanking his hand away for Lance believe it even a little. He smiled, but it didn't reach eyes. Didn't make his nose scrunch up or his cheeks color. “I'm fine.” 

He leaned in to kiss him again, and while Lance let him, it was hard to kiss back. Like a flash, he remembered Roland’s bruised face, his split lip, bandaged nose…. Had Keith done that? 

“Keith.” A frustrated sigh above him made the uneasy feeling in him worsen. “What happened to your hand? Who did you hit?” 

“No one. It's nothing. Are you gonna kiss me back or not?” 

Lance stared at him in shock before he pushed him away and sat up. He looked at Keith, a deep flush in his neck and face, but not from embarrassment or being flustered. This one seemed angry, especially with the expression on his face. 

He stood up and Lance blurted, “Was it you? You messed Roland’s face up?” 

“He deserved it, don't fucking worry about it.” 

“Why?” Keith scowled and started for the door, but Lance rushed forward, stopping him from getting to the door. “Keith, please. Please talk to me.” He wouldn't look at Lance. His eyes were distant, his jaw set, and he kept freeing himself of Lance's grasp.

“What do you care if I got in a fight? What does it matter?” 

“It matters because you reacted like this. Because Shiro looked furious the second he saw him. Because… it terrifies me to think of you getting so angry, you leave his face looking like that. And that's after what Hunk says has been at least two or so days of healing.” Keith sighed and shook his head. “Why won't you talk to me?” 

“I don't want to,” Keith spat. “I should go.” 

“You don't have to tell me everything, it can be a general idea, but just… please talk yo me, tell me what you're thinking, why…. Why do we keep doing this… back and forth? Like you wanna be with me one second then pull away the next?” 

His eyes finally settled on him, intense, shimmering indigo. He looked… afraid. Like he was taking Lance's image in one last time. “I just wanted to enjoy this a little longer,” he muttered. 

Something twisted in Lance's stomach. How bad was this? “Keith… what's going on? What did you do?” 

“I didn't do anything!” he shouted defensively. He ran his hand through his hair and moved to sit back down on the bed. “Fuck it. This was bound to happen,” he muttered, crossing his arms over his knees. He didn’t look at Lance as he spoke. “I… I met him when I had him for class. I ran into him once when I was going to a rehearsal, and he was… really upset. I had never seen him like that so I tried to help. He'd broken up with his girlfriend, and I had no idea what to do, so I just… invited him to practice so he could watch, have something to do.”

Lance moved slowly sitting next to him, listening raptly. Keith sighed and kept talking, telling Lance about the boy he brought into this world of dance that had saved him in hopes of helping him get saved too. About how each dance practice increased their closeness, and in turn slowly became a little flirtier. Until the day they stayed after practice was over, goofing off and still rehearsing, teasing the other until suddenly they were kissing. 

Only for Roland to beg him to keep it between them, not wanting rumors or questions or publicity. It had never been officially stated, but with the amount of kissing and touching, and shortly after the sex, Keith had assumed they were dating. And he'd respected each boundary placed, believed each time Roland said he cared about him, that Keith was different. The words he used were so similar to some of Lance's own, it made a dead weight settle in his stomach. 

And then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, Roland told Keith to stop touching him, kissing him, to stay away. Keith's hands were shaking with the anger he was holding, his voice low and sharp. “After everything he told me, he left me feeling like some kind of manipulative pervert. He said I'd taken advantage of his vulnerability and convinced him to do things he wouldn't have if I hadn't gained his trust. He said he wasn't even gay or anything, that… he still loved his ex-girlfriend and was getting her back. That I had to stay out of his life.” Keith ran a hand through his hair, his jaw clenching and unclenching. “I was a mess, Lance. I'm a fucking foster kid, and… I'd never felt so used and unwanted than I did after Roland. I wouldn't eat. I thought he was right, I thought i was a monster, I thought I….” He took a breath and scowled at his hands in his lap. “Shiro didn't know how to help me. He tried being nice and gentle, he tried being stern, he tried ignoring it, he tried staying with me all day, I just…. He hated seeing me that way. He hates Roland for what he did.” 

“Keith…. God, that's… horrible. God it makes so much sense now, why Shiro doesn't like me, why you're terrified to let me in, and I…. I don't even know how I could change that.” 

Keith looked at him, eyes solemn. “You wanted to know why I hit him. Colleen made me captain on Monday. Which was Roland’s title. A title I fucking got him to by talking to Colleen and catching him up on dances and telling him to….” Keith shook his head in frustration. “He cornered me in the bathroom after rehearsal. Said I was always fucking up his life, and then he saw the hickeys and that's….” Keith took a slow breath and looked at Lance with that same fear from the start. “He said you're gonna realize you don't like me and you'll want to forget me, just like he did. He said it's what I was good at, making straight guys want to experiment, basically. I just… got so mad. I needed him to shut up because I already think all of that myself and I didn't-” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Lance said, grabbing his hands. Keith's voice was getting panicked, and he wanted to bring him back. He recalled the way Keith had suddenly stopped coming onto him when Lance admitted he was the first guy he'd been with. The constant put down about Lance being straight and not wanting to be an experiment. How surprised he always got when Lance was affectionate in the smallest way in public. 

“Why are you crying?” Lance blinked and wiped his eyes chuckling humorlessly. “The back and forth… it's because I want to believe you. But you said it yourself, you don’t know what- and I-” 

“I know,” Lance whispered, bringing his hands to his lips, kissing the bruises, telling himself not to cry. This was Keith’s story, not his, and he knew Keith wouldn’t want his pity. “I get it. God, I understand now more than ever.” He sighed and moved his hands to cup Keith’s face, making sure he looked him in the eyes. The skin under his hands became warmer and he could feel the hesitance of Keith wanting to talk before deciding against it and clenching his jaw. 

Lance smiled and took a deep breath. “Keith, I’m not going anywhere, okay? I know it’ll take time for you to believe me, but that’s okay. I’m not in a rush.” Keith’s eyebrows knitted together, eyes wide and focused on him. “I may not know what my sexuality is, exactly, but I don’t need a label to tell me how much I like you. I like you so much, it scares me. It scares me how quickly I’ve been falling for you. How intensely I miss you without even realizing it until you’re with me, how comfortable I am with you. I like you, Keith. And that will always be true. Even if for some reason we don’t work out, I’m never going to say this wasn’t real.” 

Keith smiled and leaned into one of his hands. “I believe that you mean that right now,” he whispered. Lance sighed, but he nodded. For now, that would be enough. For Keith to know he was serious right now, even if he wasn’t sure about later. They could work on that. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. It shouldn’t be this complicated to be with someone.” 

Lance laughed and shook his head. “It’s worth it, cariño. I wouldn’t bother if I didn’t think so. And I’m a mess too. You’ll see.” Keith rolled his eyes and Lance smiled cheekily. He let the silence settle for a moment, both of their expressions getting a little more serious. Lance ran his thumb along his cheek bone, as Keith’s eyes shut. “Thank you for talking to me.” Keith hummed and smiled, keeping his eyes closed. “Did you still want to go home?” 

His eyes opened, a soft lilac color. “Actually… I’m pretty sure Adam and Shiro are… busy over there. Do you think I could stay here?” 

Lance laughed at that. “Of course. Do you need a change of clothes?” 

“Yeah. I kind of need a shower too.” Lance nodded and immediately went to get him some clothes to sleep in and a towel so he could shower. “Thanks….” 

“I’ll be in the living room. Just let me know when you’re done, yeah?” Keith nodded, and Lance started to leave, but Keith grabbed his hand and pulled him back, kissing him quickly on the lips before pulling away and ducking into the bathroom. Lance had to take a moment to get his brain to catch up and stumbled dumbly out to the living room. He decided to work on homework since he skipped class that day, but it wasn’t long before Keith came back out, wet hair pushed back, shirtless with just the shorts Lance lent him, showing off the muscle of his calves. 

The sight of him made Lance’s heart stutter. He sat down beside Lance, peeking over at his work, but not saying anything as he focused on the TV show Lance had put on in the background. Lance continued working on his homework, smiling to himself when Keith leaned against him. He ran his fingers through the wet hair, smiling. 

They watched about three episodes in comfortable silence, a silence needed for both of them after the conversation they’d had. Keith’s hair was still damp, and it was interesting to see the way it looked pushed back. Keith looked a new level of hot with it like that, and Lance suddenly wanted to see him in a suit with his hair slicked back. 

“Are you ready for bed?” Keith asked suddenly, noticing how Lance had put away his work. Lance nodded and they turned off the TV to go to the room. “You wanna be the little spoon?” Keith asked with a smirk. 

“Mm, I like being the little spoon, but if you want to, I won’t mind.” 

Keith laughed and got into the bed, opening his arms. “Come on, little spoon.” Lance rolled his eyes, but most definitely did not turn down the opportunity. He turned so his back was pressed against Keith’s torso, and stared at the way the street lights outside and the moon filtered through his thin curtain to cast silver shadows along his wall. 

He yawned and intertwined his fingers through Keith’s. “Sorry I ruined the mood earlier.” 

Keith chuckled gruffly in his ear, his nose nudging his shoulder as he bit him playfully. “It’s okay, pretty boy. Go to sleep.” Lance hummed sleepily and let the warmth of Keith’s body heat, the blankets, and his giddiness lull him to sleep. 

Chapter Text

The words kept bouncing around in his head as he stared at the shadowed wall. I don't need a label to tell me how much I like you. He looked down at the sleeping form curled up into a ball, holding Keith's arms in place around him. 

According to the clock on the bookshelf near the bed, it was a little past two in the morning. Usually it was frustrating being unable to sleep. Keith often passed the time watching YouTube or Netflix on his phone, or he'd toss around removing his clothes little by little if they aggravated him, or he got up and paced around, or he'd go to the gas station. 

But here, the insomnia wasn't totally bad. Because he was paying attention to the way Lance breathed in his sleep, his occasional sigh and a hum slipping through now and then. He was taking in the details of the room, the small posters in framed that said things like create, or Live life to the fullest because there is no take two, and the calendar pinned up, covered in bright neon sticky notes with reminders near the door. He noticed the bookshelf was full, and he was filled with curiosity about what books Lance read. 

Everything about Lance felt so new. He had come here with every intention of getting laid, wanting to get as much out of this as he could while he could. He had planned on indulging in the little moments, on enjoying the sex as much as he could, and accepted the pain that would come when whatever they had inevitably ended. 

But Lance kept taking him by surprise. Keith unconsciously tightened his arms around him and he smiled to himself. He started brushing the short locks of his hair back, positioning them to flow back along the curve of his ear. 

He heard the sharp default ringtone of his phone pierce through the silence, and he jumped, taking a sudden breath. In his arms, Lance only shifted slightly, eyebrows burrowing before he relaxed again and continued sleeping. Keith slowly moved his arms away and gently removed himself from the covers. The coldness of the room made goosebumps rise on his skin as he walked to where he'd left his phone. The phone stopped ringing as Keith searched the pockets then immediately started again. 

“Shit,” he muttered, finally finding it. Sure enough it had Shiro’s face flashing at him. “Hello?” 

“Jesus, Keith. I texted you a couple times and you didn't answer, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I'm alright. I'm at Lance's….” He hurried out of the room, though he doubted Lance would wake up from hearing him.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Keith started to apologize, but then Shiro said, “Yeah, yeah, get me my wallet. Dammit Keith, you cost me fifteen bucks.” 

Keith paused in the hallway and narrowed his eyes. “Did you make a fucking bet on me? I thought you said you were worried!” 

“I was! I made the bet before I got worried. Adam said you went home with him. I thought you'd come back since you seem so unsure of him. When I didn't hear from you after like one in the morning, proper brotherly panic set in.” 

Keith scowled at the couch. “Right. Well, I figured you and Adam would want alone time-” 

“Aw, Keith, I would thank you if I didn't know that was a bullshit excuse to stay with Lance for the night.” Keith's face flushed. He began to stammer, but Shiro cut him off. “Okay, but in all seriousness, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I'm alright. We just talked. I told him about Roland.” There was silence on the phone. He heard Shiro repeating what he said and a muffled voice responding. “I wasn't planning to, but he saw how you got when Hunk was talking to Roland, and he saw the bruises on my hands, so he asked and…. He looked really freaked out and I told him.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“Shiro, please stop asking that. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm… great. Lance is really… understanding. I dunno, I don't want to expect anything, but I can't help but feel like he means it.” It was quiet again. Keith could hear Adam saying something but he couldn't make out what. He thought of Lance's comment earlier after Keith had told him what Roland did. “He thinks you don't like him.” 

“I don't really know him,” Shiro said quietly. “All I know is he walked out of your room during one of our parties after having sex with you, he showed up again later to take you on a date, and he smothered you in kisses the second he saw you today.” Shiro took a breath and continued. “I'm wary of him. But I'd be wary of anyone with an interest in you because you're my little brother. You're telling me he's genuine and I wanna support that and believe it, but… I want to see it for myself too.” 

“I don't really know how that would happen, it's not like you can chaperone one of our dates or something.” 

“Double date!” Adam shouted. Keith felt the blood drain from his face. 

“I'm not going on a double date with my brother!” Keith groaned and rubbed his face in frustration. “Look, I'll see if he… I don't know wants to have dinner with us or something just…. Please don't make it seem like a meeting the parents kind of thing.” 

“I'll wear a tweed jacket and everything.” Keith muttered a curse under his breath and Shiro laughed. “Alright, I'll let you go. Try to get some sleep. Love you.” 

“Love you too, Shiro. And pay Adam, asshole.” Shiro grumbled and hung up. Keith shook his head and looked at his phone. 

He had four messages from Shiro over a span of a couple hours. And another message from an unknown number. 

Can we talk

Keith frowned. It had been sent about an hour ago. He answered by asking who it was, though he didn't expect a response at this hour. He went to get a bottle of water, and started walking back to Lance's room when he felt his phone buzz. 

Roland 

Keith stared at the name in confusion. He felt anger and frustration and uncertainty swirl in him and clenched his phone a little too hard. Another message came in. 

I kno it's weird but we're always around each other in dance may as well talk 

Keith scowled and deleted the messages, tossing his phone on the counter. He walked back to Lance's room and walked in, fully intending on wrapping himself around Lance. 

But as he got inside, he saw the bookcase again. He wasn't sleepy yet, so he stopped in front of it, squinting to read the titles. 

The Collected Poems of Sylvia Plath. Milk & Honey. The Essential Rumi. The Odyssey. Poetry. So many types of poetry. Some titles were in Spanish. Keith felt like he should've figured as much. Lance was such a romantic, it made sense that he liked poetry. He had a couple series too. One looked like it was about angels. He recognized the Hunger Games trilogy. And there were various books that looked like leather bound journals with papers sticking out. 

There were a few books that didn't seem to fit the rest, and also didn't seem like college textbooks. A few biographies and couple nonfiction books about moments in history. It didn't seem to fit Lance's tastes, and he was certain Lance hadn't even touched those books if the thin layer of dust on them when he touched them said anything. 

As he looked at them, he heard Lance shuffle on the bed. He looked over, smiling at the way his silhouette was outlined in silver light. 

Then he shifted again and grunted, pulling the covers closer, hand reaching out. Keith frowned, watching as he pulled himself up and stared at the empty space next to him. 

“Lance?” 

Lance flinched and turned, exhaling as he plopped back on the bed. “Jesus. I thought… you'd left.” 

Keith smiled and walked over, sitting beside him. “Nah. Shiro called to see if I was okay. You slept through it, though. It was just looking at your books.” 

“Oh.” Lance yawned and burrowed himself into his pillow. “Aren't you tired?” 

Keith smiled and reached forward to run his hand through his hair. “Not really. I usually fall asleep around five or six.” Lance's eyes widened and Keith shook his head. “It's just sometimes. My sleep schedule gets weird close to performances.” 

Lance frowned and sat up. “Well d’you want company? I can make hot chocolate.” 

Keith felt something warm bloom in his chest as he looked at Lance's sleep-ridden face, eyes blinking slowly, his hair swishing in various directions. He chuckled and shook his head. “I'm okay.” 

Lance yawned and draped himself over Keith's shoulder. “You sure? It's really good. Used to drink it all the time when I was little. Has cima-cinan-ci-” 

Keith laughed. “Cinnamon?” Lance nodded and ran his fingers through Keith's hair. “Maybe in the morning. Go back to sleep.” 

“Mm, not if you're awake,” he mumbled. 

Keith laughed again and turned to press a kiss to Lance's forehead. His pretty blue eyes opened, a little more awake and slightly surprised. “Alright then.” He stood up and crawled over to the other side of the bed, laying down, and scooping Lance back close to him. Only this time, he made sure they were facing each other. “Now will you go to sleep?” 

Lance smiled and threw an arm over Keith's middle. “Yeah. Just don't go anywhere.” 

The way he said that tugged at Keith's chest. It was so strange to have someone want him around this much, this outwardly. Keith bumped their noses together. “I'm not going anywhere, pretty boy.” 

Lance hummed again and was fast asleep within seconds. Keith couldn't help but laugh. He listened to his slow breaths as the clock continued to show the passing minutes, hours of the night. 

His mind raced with thoughts. About why Roland suddenly wanted to talk, about Shiro and his own hesitancy even when he was encouraging Keith to try, about Lance how terrifying it was to be with him while also being exciting. Keith had no idea if he would be able to be as vulnerable as a relationship required. He didn't want it to get thrown back in his face again.

Before he could lose himself in his thoughts, he pulled himself back. He just wanted to enjoy this moment. For once, he didn't want to think about the various ways things could get ruined. Instead, he tightened his grip around Lance, smiling when he heard him sigh, and let himself fall asleep. 

When he woke back up, the sun was filtering in through the blinds and Lance was half draped over his chest. Keith looked up to see the time on the clock. Nine in the morning. Keith had a class at ten thirty, so he untangled himself from Lance's embrace. 

Lance just grumbled and spread out on his stomach, wrapping his arms around the pillow and arching his back as his legs stretched out. Keith's eyes followed the way his shirt hiked up and his arm muscles flexed slightly before relaxing with a huff.  

He chuckled and leaned over to kiss his cheek lightly. Sure enough, Lance didn't even stir. 

Keith went into the bathroom to freshen up and change, thankful he had most of his stuff in his duffel bag from dance. He was done within fifteen minutes. 

He went back to the bed and shook Lance, not bothering to be gentle because that wouldn't wake him. Lance frowned and opened his eyes, looking confused. 

“I gotta get to class, Lance,” Keith whispered. “I'm gonna get a Lyft, but I wanted to let you know-” 

“But chocolate.” Keith snorted and raised an eyebrow at him. Lance rubbed his face and sat up. “I said I'd make you hot chocolate. What time is your class?” 

“I've got another hour.” Lance nodded and tossed his legs over the side, stretching up before standing. “Your class today isn't until eleven, go back to sleep.” 

“I'm already up.” Lance took his hand and pulled him closer pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Come on, it won't take long.” 

Keith smiled and followed him out to the kitchen. His phone was on the counter and he remembered the message from last night. Keith turned it on and saw he was on low battery and had three messages. One from Shiro reminding him to get to class and two from Roland that he didn't bother opening. 

Lance was humming a song under his breath while he grabbed a small pot, some milk, and a yellow box with an old woman smiling on top. Keith stood next to him, watching as he plopped a solid circle of chocolate into the milk and began stirring gently. 

“When I was little, my sister Veronica and I would always sneak into the pantry when my mom wasn't looking and eat the chocolate tablets. Even now, I do it by myself and I feel like I'm breaking some rule,” he said with a fond smile. 

Keith looked at him, fascinated with the way he made grogginess look good. His hair was a tousled mess and he had the imprint of a blanket on his cheek, his eyes still puffy with sleep. But Keith still thought he looked beautiful. With long limbs covered in light freckles and bright blue eyes that seemed to get more vibrant in the morning sunlight. And that serene smile on his face from fond childhood memories triggered by the smell of chocolate. 

His heart stuttered in his chest and he felt a new kind of nervousness just standing there beside him. Fresh giddiness like this was a new crush he was experiencing, all excitement and wonder. In a way it kind of was because he was finally letting it. He was finally accepting it. 

“What are you looking at?” Lance asked, his eyes flitting to him. Keith shook his head and smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek and then his jawline and then his neck. “Keith,” He said through a light laugh. “Don't distract me, the milk will burn.” 

Keith smiled and skimmed his lips along Lance's jawline. “Mm, sorry.” 

“You're touchy this morning,” Lance noted as he tilted his head to the side, baring his neck. There were a couple hickeys Keith managed to make the night before, but they were light. Keith decided to fix that. “ Oh,” Lance breathed out, putting his hand on the counter and the other over Keith's hand… which was slowly making its way under his shirt. “Fuck.” 

Keith pulled away and smiled at the dark purple hue of the hickey against Lance's honey brown skin. He hummed and looked up at Lance's face, the current euphoria on it as he closed his eyes and let his mouth fall open slightly. 

“You're gorgeous,” Keith whispered. 

Lance's eyes burst open as his cheeks reddened. It was immensely satisfying being the one causing the blushing instead of being made to blush. 

“Oh my God,” he mumbled, abandoning the spoon and the pot in favor of hugging Keith and burying his face in the crook of his shoulder. 

Keith laughed and tickled his sides, causing Lance to burst into laughter as he squirmed. “What happened to burning the hot chocolate?” 

“You're still distracting me!” he said, laughing into Keith's jacket. “No, no, no, stop, I can't- Keith!” He finally relented, instead wrapping his arms around his torso to bring him into a hug. “This is new,” Lance said, still chuckling slightly. 

“I'm happy.” 

Lance pulled back and tilted Keith's toward him with a finger. “Good. Me too.” He leaned in to kiss him, but stopped before their lips did more than brush against each other. “Shit, I still have morning breath-” 

Keith put a hand at the back of his neck and pulled him in all the way. He kissed him and kissed him and kissed him, elated by the way their lips moved together like a perfectly choreographed dance routine. 

“ Shit the milk!” Lance suddenly gasped against his lips. He pulled away and returned to the pot which had begun to bubble over and into the fire, sizzling. Keith couldn't help but laugh to himself as he watched Lance salvage what was still in the pot. He poured the milk into a thermos and what was left into a mug. He handed the thermos to Keith with a smile. “Don’t freak if there’s a film over it when you leave it, it does that.” Keith nodded, but before he could answer, Lance said, “Also, I can drive you to school if you want? Or to your place so you can get your motorcycle. No need for a Lyft or anything.” 

“Okay,” he said, if only to have a little more time with him. “Could you take me to campus? I like having time before class so I don’t feel super rushed.” 

“You got it, let me just get my shoes and a sweater.” Lance left his mug on the counter and disappeared into his room. He came back a little bit later in a cozy-looking hoodie with his keys in one hand. “Come on.” Keith grabbed his duffel bag, and Lance grabbed his hand when they left the apartment. “Did you sleep okay? Did you sleep at all?” 

Keith laughed and nodded. “Yeah I slept a bit. And I slept well.” They got to Lance’s car and he handed Keith the aux cord. “My phone doesn’t have too much battery.”

“You can use mine.” Lance handed his phone over and Keith scrolled through songs, adding some the queue. He took Lance’s hand, keeping his grip loose in case Lance needed both hands for turning or something. He hummed along to the music and enjoyed the sound of Lance’s low singing, still riddled with sleep and sounding beautifully hoarse. 

When they got to campus, Keith directed him toward the building his class was in. Lance parked near the curb and turned on his hazard lights. “Thanks for waking me up. Not to sound clingy, but I might have panicked if I woke up and you were gone. At least until I remembered that college classes were a thing.” 

Keith scoffed and squeezed his hand. “I told you I wouldn’t go anywhere.” Lance’s face softened. “And I really am glad we talked yesterday.”

“Me too. You seem… more sure about this.” 

Keith bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah. I feel better about this. But I also wanna let you know, I’m not sure how long it’ll last. M-my head, it gets messy and I-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Lance said, touching his face with his free hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll reassure and remind you as much as I need to.” He leaned forward and kissed him lightly. Keith caught the scent of spearmint. “We’re still on for our date Friday, right?” Keith nodded and Lance smiled brightly at him. “Good.” 

He leaned forward again and Keith kissed him. Keith had kissed plenty of people before. For a game, in drunken stupor, out of naivety, or just for the hell of it when he was bored. But no one had ever kissed him the way Lance did. Lance kissed him in this way that felt like he was being attentive to anything Keith did. It didn’t feel selfish or one sided or uneven and awkward. If Keith kissed harder, Lance responded the same way. If Keith was hesitant, Lance coaxed him into it. If Keith wanted it to last longer, Lance was slower, deliberate… like he was now. It made Keith feel like he was melting on the spot. 

“Mm, I gotta go, and if I keep kissing you, I’m not gonna want to leave.” 

“Sounds good to me,” Lance murmured, kissing the corner of his mouth. 

Keith laughed and pushed him away, but Lance wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in as he playfully pressed kisses all over his face. Keith laughed harder, cringing as Lance’s lips and breaths tickled him. “Lance!” 

Lance laughed as he finally pulled back. “Okay, okay. Go be smart and stuff. I have to get home and get ready for class too.” 

Keith kissed him one more time before finally saying goodbye. “I’ll see you later.” Lance nodded and smiled as Keith got out of the car and waved. He drove off and Keith rubbed his cheeks, simultaneously aggravated with how much they hurt while completely unable to stop smiling for longer than a second. 

When he turned around, he felt all that joy twist itself into immediate anger. Roland was standing a little further down the sidewalk. He had a strange look on his face, his cheeks a bright red and his eyebrows furrowed. Keith scowled and turned to go into his building, not sparing a glance back even when he heard Roland call his name. 

He couldn’t find it in himself to feel even slightly bad for the bandage on his nose or the split lip. Not after the things he’d said. Not after all the memories of the way he’d felt after Roland. Especially not after he level of doubt he’d managed to seep into his dynamic with Lance. 

He knew he’d have to see Roland at rehearsals, but he could ignore him there too, if he was smart about it. If he kept everyone busy, moving, if he kept his distance. Roland didn’t get to take Keith’s time up anymore. 

For the rest of the day, Keith didn't get any more messages and he didn't run into Roland. When rehearsals came around, Keith noticed Roland looking at him more. It made him uncomfortable. He didn't want to get cornered again, and he didn't want to risk another fight. 

Colleen wasn't stupid. Keith knew that she knew it had been Keith who rearranged Roland's face. But with both of them holding their tongues, she overlooked it. Keith knew she wouldn't if Roland came back looking worse. He knew it would risk his position as captain. 

Keith did his best to ignore it, texting Lance on his breaks and staying near Colleen, making pointless small talk and observations. He knew that Roland wouldn't go up to him if he stayed with her. 

Except he forgot that Colleen was Pidge's mom- something she'd told him when they were eating the night before. So she gave him a steady look and a raised eyebrow as she asked in that way that suggested he'd better not bullshit her, “If I recall correctly, I saw Lance kissing you after the performance yesterday. What's that about?” 

“Oh. Um. Yes. I don't… I don't know. We like each other-” 

“You're dating Lance? ” 

Keith gulped. “Why… did you say it like that? And no not… officially or anything….” 

Colleen pursed her lips. “Because I've known that boy since he was seven years old. And I didn't think….” She hesitated and shrugged. 

Keith rolled his eyes. “Didn't think he liked guys?” Colleen only smiled and nodded. “Yeah. He says it's new. But I think he means it.” 

“Oh I have no doubt Lance means anything and everything he tells you. I've always known him to be a sweet boy. I used to think he might end up with my Katie, but their friendship never developed into that. Then he started dating and-” She waved a hand and shrugged as if to say, oh well. “But yes. Lance is one of the most honest and genuine young men I know. And you're one of the most passionate and dedicated. So I really hope neither of you ends up with a broken heart.” 

Keith grimaced and blushed. “Yeah. Me too.” 

Colleen nodded and her chin jutted out slightly. “You wanna tell me why Roland keeps eyeing you like you stole his favorite flannel?” 

Keith might've laughed at that if the mention of Roland didn't make his body go cold. “Why do you notice everything?” 

She laughed and crossed her arms. “I'm a mother of two and a college professor. It's a requirement.” Keith scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You're not gonna let it interfere with the team, are you?” 

“No. I promise. I can separate my personal and professional life.” Colleen nodded and tapped her wrist. “Alright, break is over, everyone! Regroup!” 

For another hour, the team went over dances, focusing more on the group ones. By the time they were done, Keith’s limbs burned pleasantly with exertion and he was ready to get home and take a bath before taking a much needed nap. He started ordering a Lyft, absentmindedly complimenting those who left. 

Then he saw Roland out of the corner of his eye. He looked up from his phone and scowled, grabbing his things with every intention of leaving. But Roland said, “Wait! I need help with this step.” 

“Figure it out,” Keith spat. 

“You’re captain now, right? You’re supposed to help.” 

Keith stared at him, disbelief coating his features. Was he really pulling that card? From across the room, he saw Colleen eyeing them as she packed her things. Keith had promised to separate his personal life from his position as a captain. And even if Roland was full of shit, he had no way to prove it. He was trapped. 

“Fuck you,” Keith muttered under his breath. He crossed his arms and huffed. “Which part?” 

“I can’t get to my spot fast enough when we have to do the turn and jumps. I land wrong then forget to do the shoulder thing.” 

Keith took a deep breath and gestured to the center of the room. He counted him off so he could watch and though he wasn’t sure if it was on purpose or not, Roland really wasn’t getting to his spot on time, much less managing the next move. “Alright, keep shifting your weight and use the momentum.” He stood beside him and provided the example, calling out the steps as he did them. “As soon as you land, go into the turn and reach out at the same time.” 

Roland nodded, and Keith counted off doing it with him. It was smoother that time, but still choppy. Colleen gave him a slight wave as she left the room. As Keith counted again to watch, Roland asked, “So who was that guy you-”

“None of your fucking business. This is a dance rehearsal, not gossip hour.” Roland rolled his eyes. “Focus. You landed on the wrong foot. Kick out more. Again.” 

“I forgot how much of a perfectionist you become with this,” Roland huffed, starting over. Keith scowled. “Remember that one time you wouldn’t even let me k-”

Keith yanked his arm and gripped it tight, his eyes narrowed as anger rolled through his body. “Either you shut up and work on the dance, or I leave.” 

“That guy doesn’t look like your type.”

“What the fuck do you know about my type?” Roland scoffed, arching an eyebrow and Keith shoved him away. “We’re done here.” 

He felt Roland’s hand on his arm, stopping him. “Hey, come on, I’m just kidding.” Keith snatched away and kept walking. “What made this guy so special, huh? All this time with all your flings and the parties you and your foster brother throw, then out of nowhere you’re with this twig?” Keith stopped, feeling his body heat up so badly his skin started to itch. “And he’s met Shiro?” 

It was taking everything in Keith not to burst. He didn't like being violent. And he could still hear the subtle tremor in Lance's voice, the disbelief in his eyes when he'd asked Keith if he had been the one to hit Roland. 

No matter how much he felt this asshole deserved it, he didn't want Roland to have any hold on him anymore. 

“Is it… is it just because... he kisses you in public?” Keith clenched his jaw so hard it hurt. 

Keep walking. Just walk away. 

“Why him, Keith?” 

“What do you care?” Keith asked through clenched teeth. He didn't want to turn back around. He was barely keeping himself together. “We barely speak for almost a year and then you talk shit and now you wanna know about who I'm seeing?” 

It was quiet for a while. He heard footsteps and he tensed. If Roland laid a finger on him….

“Forget I said anything.” Roland’s whispered reply took Keith by surprise. He watched as he tugged a beanie over his dirty blond hair and left the room. 

Keith's body remained tense and frozen. He took a deep breath and grabbed his phone out of his pocket. Lance was done with class by now. 

Keith dialed and Lance picked up after a couple rings. 

“Hey, babe, what's up?” 

“You mind… giving me a ride home?” 

There was a slight pause before he answered. “Yeah, I can do that. Are you okay?” 

Keith took another breath and let it out with a sigh. “Just a long, busy day.” 

“Okay, well, I'll be there soon,” Lance promised.  “You just finished dance, so main building, right?” 

“Yeah. Thank you.” He hung up and went outside, to wait by the steps. Lance was there within fifteen minutes. Keith got into his car and smiled at him, but Lance leaned over and kissed him lightly. “Hey.” 

“Hey. Everything okay?” 

“Just tired.” 

Lance hummed and picked up something from the cup holders. “Well, I was getting boba when you called, so I brought you one. And I thought you might be hungry so I was thinking we could stop by Chick-fil-a or something-” 

Keith leaned over and hugged him tightly, feeling the tension leave his body like streams of a river. He laughed and pressed a kiss to Lance's cheek before pulling back and smiling at him. “You're pretty amazing, you know that?” 

Lance blushed and started stammering. “Oh, I mean, it's just, you know just like, it's just food, babe, I'm not doing anything major, I-” 

Keith laughed and covered his mouth. “Would you just accept the compliment?” Lance nodded, moving with Keith's hand. “Let's go before UPD gets on your ass about being in a fire lane.” 

No, it wasn't just because Lance kissed him in public. Lance was special because he was honest. He cared. He brought Keith a drink and he was attentive to his schedule, he paid attention to the little details, he gave Keith his space and waited for him to open up, he knew when Keith wanted to talk and when he wanted to change the subject, he introduced him to friends, he woke up to make him chocolate the morning, he…. 

He fought. He fought for Keith, fought to prove himself. That's what made him special. That's what made Keith hopeful, and for once, not so afraid of letting himself be. 

Chapter Text

Ever since Lance had gotten Keith to tell him about Roland, he’d become a lot touchier. Lance had gotten a chance to see him a couple times since Wednesday and each time Keith would find a way to either drape himself over Lance and attack his neck or lure Lance onto his lap and kiss him until his lips were swollen and red. Lance had taken to carrying chapstick because his lips were so overworked. 

But now it was Friday night- date night. Date number two which Lance had to make the best date Keith would ever have. 

He supposed luck was to blame for the fact that Veronica video called just as he was putting his finishing touches before heading out to pick Keith up. He answered and set the phone in front of his bathroom mirror. 

“ Ey chaparra, que paso?” 

“Wow, prieto, where are you headed off to? All dressed up.” Lance blushed and took a breath. “Lance? Oh my God are you going on a date?” 

He bit his lip and looked at the phone. “Yeah. Please don’t make a big deal out of it.” 

“What do you mean don’t make a big deal? It is a big deal! You haven’t gone on a date in a long time. This girl must be special.” Lance gulped. 

He didn’t want to correct her, but he didn’t want to hide Keith either. “Come on, Vero, just leave it alone. I can… talk to you about ‘em when I get a chance to see you. I was thinking of visiting Mami soon for Luis’ birthday.” 

“Mm, okay. Can I ask where you’re going, though?” 

“Carnival.” 

“Ah! That’s so cute! Damn, we did a good job raising you, manito. You’re such a romantic.” Lance rolled his eyes and laughed. “Alright, well I’ll let you go so you can go on your date. But  I want to hear about her! Maybe meet her if things go well?” Lance didn’t say anything. He just stared and blushed. “Can I at least know her name?” 

Lance felt something churn in his stomach. The more he avoided talking about Keith, avoided correcting Veronica, the guiltier he felt. The more terrified he got. He took a breath and smiled at her. “Tell you what. If the date goes well, I’ll call and… we can talk about it.” 

Veronica’s eyes widened, an excited smile on her face. “Sweet! Te quiero, flaco, be a gentleman and have a great time!” She blew him a kiss and waved happily. 

Lance chuckled and waved goodbye. “Love you too, chaparra.” He hung up and leaned on the counter, letting out an exhale. He was suddenly ridiculously nervous now. Of course the date would go well. Things with Keith were going great. He wasn’t shutting down as much, he was a little more vocal about his thoughts, and that was just in the last couple of days. 

Which meant Lance would have to tell his sister about him. He didn’t know how he would do that. He didn’t know if he wanted it to be on the phone or in person. Or if maybe he should tell her he liked guys on the phone then waited for her reaction to decide if he could go to her and tell her about Keith. 

He wouldn’t let his mind go to what he was supposed to do if she reacted badly….

He shook the thoughts away and tried his best to clear his head. He reached for his cologne in the mirror cabinet and suddenly faltered. It was a cologne he wore on special occasions only. A cologne he’d rarely used lately. A cologne Allura bought him one Christmas. 

“Fuck,” he grunted, hating the way his mind had so quickly gone from excitement to guilt.

The dreams with Allura hadn’t stopped. Not even the night Keith stayed with him. But they were becoming vaguer. As though the memories of her were being seen through a mesh curtain or something. Sometimes Lance wondered if he was even remembering her voice correctly, but by the time he woke up he could barely recall the sound in his dream. 

As he stared at the cologne, he remembered the Christmas she’d given it to him. It was his sophomore year of college. He had some interview with one of his professors when the semester started in order to be a TA in the fall, and it was making him so nervous he couldn’t even enjoy his break. 

It was a cologne Lance had been introduced to in a store that he’d been captivated by. But it was too expensive, so he’d simply resorted to accepting a test spray before going about his day. He refused to wash the sweater he’d sprayed until Allura had told him it was too stained to even wear in public anymore. 

So when he’d torn away the wrapping paper and recognized the bottle he was speechless. They’d seen the cologne in passing, it had been months since, and it had been ridiculously expensive. But she had gotten it for him and was giving him a wide smile. 

“Wear it the day of your interview,” she’d said. “And I know you’ll get the position.” She’d kissed him and giggled at his shell-shocked expression. “Now try and enjoy the rest of the break with me, okay?” A month later, Lance wore the cologne and got the position. 

Once Lance had recovered the ability to speak, he said, “ Mi princesa hermosa, what did I do to deserve you?” She’d blushed and given him a bright smile. “I hope you know I will only ever use this on very special occasions. Like. As in the day I propose to you and our wedding day and the day we have kids. And the interview.” 

Her laugh filled every crevice of his heart. “I’ll keep my sense of smell alert, then. You now have a very special-life changing- major events cologne.” 

He stared at the bottle he hadn’t touched since the day he went to her funeral, unsure of whether he could really ever use it again. 

A special date with Keith, the first guy to ever make Lance want to bring down the moon and stars if it’s what it took to hear his laugh, the first person Lance had felt so drawn to since losing Allura… didn’t that call for his special cologne? Absolutely. Still, his hand faltered as it tried to reach for it.  

Not this time, he thought. He couldn’t do it yet. He reached for his second favorite and sprayed that one before going to sit on his bed. 

He liked Keith. More than he’d like anyone in a long time. It just hurt that Allura was still present in so many things when he was alone. When he was with Keith, he could bring himself to live in the moment, to think of him and only him. When he was with Hunk and Pidge, he was there with them, and with his family, he was happy and he was okay. Lately, when he was alone, everything was permeated with her. How much longer until it would stop? 

“I think you’d like him,” he whispered to the empty room. “You’d like how passionate he is. He makes me happy. He makes me wanna try again.” Lance felt his eyes sting, and he stared at the ceiling in hopes of stopping the tears. “I’m sorry I slept around so much. I know you hated guys like that. But I just wanted… to pretend I was fine. That I had stopped missing you. And then Keith came along and…. I wasn’t even gonna go to that party. And now I’m head over heels for him.” He swallowed and buried his face in his hands. “That doesn’t mean everything we had isn’t important anymore…. Right? It doesn’t mean I love you less. I just… I don’t know. I don’t know!” Unable to hold them back anymore, the tears started overflowing, caught in his fingers. “I wish I could just… hear you tell me it’s okay. That it’s okay for me to want someone else. That wherever you are, you know….” Lance couldn’t finish. 

He was talking to nothing. To no one. It would be easier to write it all out, but… he didn’t want to. It kept it from being concrete. It kept the moment from being permanent. 

Romelle had said he had every right to be with someone new. To live his own life. He was young. And Veronica had sounded so excited and happy for him. Pidge and Hunk liked Keith, and they’d integrated him into their group seamlessly. Everyone else who knew even vaguely about Keith was fine. They weren’t judging Lance for moving on. So why was he? 

He wiped at his eyes and took another steadying breath. He just needed to bring himself back. He thought of the plans he had for the date, thought of how excited he was to see how many times he could make Keith smile. 

He would tell his sister about Keith and she'd be just as excited about him as if he'd been a girl. He would wear the cologne one day without having a mental breakdown. He would be okay.

He grabbed his keys and left the apartment, driving to Keith's with the radio at high volume. When he got to his house, he parked and went to knock on the door. 

A couple beats later, it opened and he saw Keith in a black long sleeved shirt with dark, torn jeans and red and black shoes. He was smiling, and it was an expression Lance loved to see. “Hey! I just gotta get my jacket and my wallet.” He turned away, leaving the door open as he ducked back into his room. 

Lance stepped in and looked around, wondering if Shiro was there. He wasn't fully sure he had the stamina to deal with the anxiety of being around Shiro who he had no clue how to read. 

Keith came back with a leather jacket and those fingerless leather gloves that fueled Lance's fantasies. He stopped short, giving Lance a once over, his smile fading. His eyebrows furrowed and Lance could see the hesitation sleeping back into his body. 

“You okay? You still… wanna do this?” 

“Yeah, of course. Why?” 

Keith shrugged and sat down on the arm of the couch. “I don't know. I just… don't want you to feel forced to go through with things if you don't really want to anymore. And I don't know if I've gotten to be too much or…. Shiro says I don't know how to be gray.” Lance frowned, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “I'm always on complete opposite ends of a scale, I never really find a balance. Like… with you, I go from… not wanting to let you in and being reserved, and now I just….” 

“Wanna kiss me every time you see me?” Lance finished with a smirk. Keith blushed but his face remained frustrated. “I don't mind that at all. I'm glad I was able to make you comfortable enough to make that change.” 

“But I know it can be a lot, and if I'm making you uncomfortable-” 

Lance closed the space between them and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Hey. It's okay, Keith. I'm not uncomfortable or upset with you.” 

Keith put a hand on his face, his thumb caressing Lance's cheek lightly. “Then why do you have that look on your face? You're not smiling wide enough for your dimple to show. That only happens if something's bothering you.” 

Lance stared at him in shock for a moment. He felt like all the air in his lungs had dissipated. 

Mi principe azul… let me see that dimpled smile. I haven't seen it in so long. 

He wasn't really a believer in spirits or ghosts or signs from beyond the grave. Not like his family. But it still gave him goosebumps to hear the similarities in Keith's words with Allura’s so soon after he'd been breaking down over her. It was chilling, and there was a part of his brain that wondered if brain was his sign. If this was Allura giving him the green light, her blessing even in the afterlife…. 

Or it was just a coincidence. And Lance's brain was seeing things it wanted to see. Keith's words were just his words, his observations. 

“Lance? What is it? What's wrong?” Keith looked concerned now. His eyes scanned Lance's face, his hand stilled against his cheek. 

“I'm okay,” Lance breathed out. He leaned forward, tilting his head for a kiss. “I'm sorry. I'm just….” He sighed and looked into those swirling eyes. Maybe he could tell him at least part of it. “My sister called. She wanted to know who I was going on a date with, and….” Keith expression changed, somehow turning shameful. “Hey, no, I wanted to tell her, I just… I think I need to make it a conversation in person,  but I told her we would talk after the date,  and I just started freaking out because I don't know what to say or how to say it or what she'll do and what I'll do about whatever she does-” 

Keith took Lance's face between his hands and shook his head. “Hey,” he said, with the gentlest voice Lance had ever heard from him. “You don't have to tell her about me if you're not ready. After what I said about Roland, I know you want to show me it's different, but I'm not expecting you to tell everyone right away. I won't be upset.” 

Lance shook his head stubbornly and leaned into Keith, resting his forehead against his shoulder. “I want to. I want to be able to tell them all about you. I don't want to hide you. It feels wrong not to tell them. I want to start with Veronica at least, and….” He took a breath and pulled back, looking Keith in the eyes. “I'm going to tell them. Because I want to be with you, and I don't want to feel like I have to hide that from certain people. It's not just to prove myself to you, I promise. It's something I wanna do for myself. I'm just… still kind of scared of how they'll react or if anyone will act different with me.” 

The corner of Keith's mouth quirked up slightly and he hooked a finger into his shirt, pulling his face closer. “I don't know what I did right for you to have come into my life, pretty boy.” Lance let out a nervous half giggle half whimper. Keith chuckled and ran his thumb over Lance's lower lip. 

Then finally, Keith's lips pressed against his and Lance felt like he could breathe again. The feeling of the leather sliding to his neck made him shiver as he parted his lips, moaning when Keith's tongue slipped into his mouth. 

“Why is this always how I find you two?” 

Lance practically jumped away from Keith at the sound of Shiro’s voice. 

“Don't exaggerate; this is the only time you've run into us like this,” Keith answered, sounding slightly annoyed. 

“Sorry. We're about to leave, we were just talking.” Keith looked at him with a quirked brow and Shiro looked at him with an amused smile. Lance felt his face heat up. 

“Right. Well, have fun.” Shiro went into the kitchen and Lance looked at Keith helplessly.

“He hates me,” Lance whispered as Keith walked to the front door. 

“Nah, he doesn't. He just doesn't like you yet.” Lance sputtered as Keith nudged him out the door. “Relax. I like you. I think that matters a little more, right?” 

Lance bit his lip and blushed. It was the first time Keith had said those words aloud, he was pretty sure. “Yeah. Just a bit.” Keith smiled and walked with him to the car. As Lance slid in he looked over and smirked. “Ready for the best, cheesiest date you will ever have in your life?”

Keith laughed and let it turn into a groan. “Alright, let's do this. I'm ready.” 

Lance smiled and held out his hand. Keith intertwined their fingers and chuckled softly as Lance drove. They made it to the carnival, a place bright with flashing neon lights, a large ferris wheel, rides with people shrieking in laughter, the smell of fried foods and cheap beer heavy in the air.

“Is it safe to assume the Ferris Wheel is one of our destinations?” Keith asked. 

Lance scoffed. “Abso-fucking-lutely. Cheesy date 101 is it has to include a Ferris Wheel.” Keith laughed and followed him to the admission booth. 

After a bit of debating, it was settled that Lance would buy their bracelets for the rides and Keith could buy any food they might want to eat. They decided to split the cost of tickets. 

As they walked through the space, trying to decide what ride was first, Lance couldn't help but marvel at the way the multicolored lights looked against Keith. The way they shone off his face, the way they reflected from his hair, splashing him in so many colors, he looked like a walking mosaic. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. 

“That one looks fun,” Keith said, pointing at a ride that whirled its passengers in circles, over and under like it was trying to make them puke. 

“Why am I not surprised?” Lance muttered. Keith snorted, tugging Lance along to get in line. The lines to each ride were pretty long, but Lance didn’t mind it at all because it gave him a chance to talk to Keith about everything and nothing. They talked about movies they liked, book adaptations they loved or hated, about the latest music and whether it was good or not in comparison to stuff that came out fifteen years ago. 

Each ride was crazy enough to leave Lance with an unsteady step, but short enough that it never got nauseating. He wondered how most of these rides were even safe with the way the jolted and spun and turned them. Keith, adrenaline junkie that he was, seemed to love it, poking fun at Lance for the way he would reach for Keith for balance once they were off the more adventurous rides. But the giddiness of being with Keith and the way the rides would drop or spin them had Lance laughing constantly, and because of it so was Keith. 

“Okay, okay, I wanna get some food, and I kind of don’t want to puke, so let’s hold off on anymore rides,” Keith said, steadying Lance as he tried to regain his bearing after the latest ride. He had always wanted to ride the flying saucer, but he’d been terrified of getting stuck on it with someone who would throw up. Keith didn’t seem to have that worry, and now Lance was holding onto his jacket, laughing as the adrenaline faded. 

Keith was looking at him with a wide smile, his cheeks flushed and his eyes shining, reflecting the lights of the carnival. “I think we’ve ridden everything except the Ferris Wheel by now.” 

“We could go into the mirror maze,” Keith suggested. “But I smell brisket and I’m starving.” 

Lance nodded and fell in step with him as they went in search of the food trucks. He carelessly threw his arm over Keith’s shoulders, leaning in to kiss his cheek quickly. A few steps later, and Keith was shrugging him off, making Lance stop. Keith was grimacing, a shy, but frustrated look on his face. 

“Do you… not want to be public right now?” Lance asked, gently, terrified that he’d done something wrong. 

“No, it’s not that,” Keith muttered. For a moment, it was like he was back to that uncomfortable, reserved demeanor he had on their first date. When he met Lance’s eyes, he bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m sorry. Don’t panic, you didn’t do anything…. I just….” 

Lance took a breath and stepped closer to him slowly. “Yeah?” 

Keith looked at him and huffed, trying to find words to explain. “I don’t like…. It feels possessive when people do that. The arm thing, I mean. And I don’t like it. I feel like I’m being controlled or something, and it’s….” He scowled and rolled his eyes. “Sorry.” 

Lance smiled and shook his head. “Don’t apologize. It’s okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“I know,” he answered with a smile. 

“So… what’s okay to do?” 

Keith smiled and wrapped his arm around Lance’s waist, his hand slipping into Lance’s back pocket. “Ever watch Sixteen Candles?” Lance furrowed his eyebrows. “My foster mom loves that movie. I watched it more times than I’d like to admit.” He had Lance mirror him, and smiled. “This okay?” 

“Perfect,” Lance said with a chuckle. “Sixteen Candles, huh?” 

“Shut up.” 

Lance laughed and they kept walking. The various food trucks created a swirl of smells- sweet, salty, fried, greasy, deliciously overpriced food. “Where to, babe?” 

“Wherever the smell of barbecue is coming from. Then where the fried sugar one is.” Lance laughed, letting Keith lead the way to one of the trucks. 

They got plates of brisket with baked beans, coleslaw, and a roll and sat down at one of the wooden tables, on the other end of a small family eating and feeding a baby. They scarfed their food down, and Lance couldn’t help but laugh because Keith had barbecue sauce smeared to his cheek. 

“Would you stay still!” Lance chided, trying to wipe it away with a napkin. Keith scrunched his nose and stuck his tongue out but couldn’t reach the smear. “You’re so gross.” Keith rolled his eyes and finally let Lance wipe it away. Without really thinking, Lance pulled him into a kiss, soft and chaste. But Keith still tensed under his hands. 

Keith kept his arms around his torso, and glanced around when Lance pulled back. Like he was waiting on something around them. Then he looked at Lance like he was waiting for Lance to say something. 

“Should I not have done that?” 

“I don’t mind. Do you?” Lance shook his head and nudged his nose against Keith’s. He sighed and took Lance’s face in his hands. “Hey. I know… this is new to you, so…. Being with me isn’t like being with a girl.” He looked around briefly again and looked at Lance. “Not everyone’s going to be okay seeing us in public. They might let the hand holding and the pocket thing slide, but kissing….” 

“Keith, I’m not an idiot. I know how it goes. But I want this to be a normal date, and if anyone says anything to us we can just walk away.” Keith bit his lip and looked at Lance nervously. “And I’m not gonna change my mind because some bigot wants to call me names for kissing you.” A smile tugged at his lips and he leaned his head forward to rest against Lance’s. “But if you’re concerned, please tell me. If anything’s happened before or something… tell me what I need to know so I can do this right with you.” 

The smile on Keith's lips broadened as he pulled back. “You've done everything perfectly,” he murmured. 

Lance smirked and heaved a dramatic sigh. “Not everything. I still need to win you a prize. Come on!” They grabbed their tickets and stopped at a couple booths. 

The first was a ring road that they both failed at so horribly, they couldn't stop laughing at each other and the guy in charge kept ducking out of the way. The second was a game to throw a baseball at a stack of pins. Lance was shit at throwing. Keith was really good. Too good. His throws held too much force and would make the balls ricochet off whatever they hit. 

Finally they got to a shooting game. Keith seemed hesitant considering how their last games went, but Lance grabbed the plastic rifle filled with plastic beads and hefted it up. He began to shoot at the paper ducks moving in the back of the booth, not counting, just shooting. When he was done, the girl at the booth looked slightly surprised. 

“Uh, pick from anything on the wall or two of the ones hung down here.” She pointed at some decently sized stuffed prizes hung up on a wall and then as smaller hand-sized ones along the bottom of the booth. 

Lance scanned the choices before his eyes drifted up higher. “What do I gotta do to get that one up there?” 

The girls eyes followed his and snorted. “You gotta hit all the ducks without refills. You were missing five.” 

“Are there enough bullets in here?” She stared at him for a moment before switching the gun out. “Sweet. So I hit all of them, and I can get the giant Stitch?” She nodded. Lance lifted the plastic rifle again and smiled to himself. “Alright then.” 

Keith moved from beside him to lean on the counter across from the girl, arms crossed as he looked at Lance and the new set of paper ducks. The girl pressed a button and Lance zeroed in on every duck, determined. He had one more left and he caught a glimpse of Keith, looking at him in a way that made butterflies burst in his stomach. 

C’mon, little duck, I got a boy to impress.

Lance refocused took the shot, whooping when the paper duck tore with the plastic pellet. Near the counter, Keith laughed and clapped. As the girl went to get his prize Lance went up to Keith and bowed dramatically. 

“You're really good at this game. Do you go to carnivals a lot?” 

Lance shook his head. “No. My siblings and I used to love to go to laser tag on our birthdays. Me and Veronica had to be on different teams because if we were on the same, Luis and Marc had no chance. I haven't gone in years though.” The girl came back with a Stitch stuffed animal almost taller than her. “And look at that!” He took it from her with a thanks and presented it to Keith. “This is yours, babe.” 

The night they slept together, Keith had mentioned one of his favorite Disney movies as a kid was Lilo and Stitch. He’d skimmed over it, not really going into details. On their first date, he’d also mentioned something about how many times he’d watched the movie, how he loved the feistiness of the two, the craziness of aliens on Hawaii. And then on the phone, Lance finally got an idea of why. Keith had briefly mentioned how much he enjoyed that Lilo and Stitch didn’t show a conventional family, how even a small and broken one was still good, and how that was his favorite line. He knew Stitch was his favorite character, knew Keith was drawn to the outcast little alien who’d found a family with a little girl who never gave up on him. 

And based on the look on Keith’s face as he grabbed the giant stuffed blue alien, Lance had chosen the perfect prize. Keith was blushing, but instead of hiding his face like he tended to do, he just looked at Lance and leaned forward to kiss him, holding his stuffed prize tightly under one arm. 

“Hey, he’s almost as big as you,” Lance noted as Keith hefted Stitch up, slinging him over his shoulders. 

“I love him. Thank you, Lance.” Lance smiled happily and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Hey, aren’t those photo booths usually in every single cheesy romance movie ever?” he asked, gesturing to where three girls were giggling as they stumbled out from behind a small curtain and grabbed their strips of photos. 

“Oh, hell yes.” Lance smirked at Keith and nudged him. “Looks like you’ve got your own romantic side.” 

“I just know movies,” Keith said with a laugh, taking his hand as he started for the booth. 

Keith managed to stuff Stitch inside, both of them sitting on one of his legs to fit. “Okay. We gotta think of poses before we start, because Hunk, Pidge and I have tried these and they were a mess.” Keith laughed at that as he mused through the frame options. “Alright we can have a normal one, a silly one, um….” 

“We’ll figure it out,” Keith said with a smile. “Ready?” Lance nodded and watched the countdown. “Silly one first?” 

“Oh shit, okay!” Lance crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out, panicked with the speed of the countdown. 

Beside him Keith laughed. God, Lance loved that sound. The raspiness of it, the way it built from somewhere in his chest, the breathiness of it. And when it was real and unreserved, it was a loud laugh that filled his cheeks with a blush and made his eyes squint.

He hadn't realized another flash had gone off. But then Keith was grabbing him, one hand at the collar of his shirt, the other at his cheek as he yanked him into a dizzying kiss. Lance melted into it, a soft moan reverberating in his throat as he felt Keith's teeth grazed his lower lip. 

He pulled away and Lance stared at him in a daze, captivated by the lovely violet eyes, looking at him so openly. He smiled and bumped their noses together, and Keith let his eyes flutter shut as Lance placed a smaller kiss against his parted lips. 

“I think cheesy movies might be my new favorite genre,” Keith joked, running his hand through Lance's hair gently. 

Lance hadn't even realized the booth had already taken all their pictures. He forgot they were even in a booth. He just knew he was with Keith. 

He leaned in to kiss him again and it was like being able to breathe for the first time in a long time. Keith’s gloved hand stayed at his cheek, his fingers curling to caress him. It felt wonderful. Lance felt wonderful. 

“We should get our pictures, pretty boy,” Keith said, smiling against his lips. Lance nodded, and forced himself out of the booth. While Keith busied himself with pulling Stitch out, Lance grabbed the strips of pictures. 

The first had Lance, a little blurry making a face at the camera next to Keith who was sticking his tongue out at him. The second had Keith laughing and Lance staring doe-eyed at him. It was kind of embarrassing that the camera had caught that look of pure adoration on Lance’s face, but he couldn’t do anything about it now. The third had Keith kissing him, the surprise of it evident in the way Lance’s eyebrows were raised. The last picture had them both smiling at each other dopily, in some space between laughter and an intense want for the other. 

Lance tore them at the perforated middle so he could give Keith his photos. Keith hauled Stitch and looked at the photos. A light red dusted over his cheeks and he bit his lip as he smiled at Lance. “How’s this for cheesy, huh?” Lance smiled back and winked. “Hey, I think they have funnel cake, you want to get one?” 

“I love funnel cake!” 

Keith snorted. “I know.” 

Lance held on to their pictures as they walked back to the food trucks. He followed the smell of confectioner’s sugar until the sweet scent of fried batter was right in front of him, making him mouth water. 

“You should see your face right now,” Keith teased, squeezing his hand. Not long after they got the funnel cake- coated in powdered sugar, glazed strawberries, and a swirl of whipped cream- Lance was tearing pieces off and stuffing his mouth, succeeding mostly in making a mess of himself. “You eat like a little kid,” Keith said, laughing as he leaned in to kiss his sugar coated lips. 

“Here, try it,” Lance said, offering his paper plate. He still had half the funnel cake left. “It may possibly be the best funnel cake I've ever had in my life.” Keith raised an eyebrow and tore a piece off, and Lance laughed when the whipped cream inevitably smeared on the corner of his mouth. “It's also the messiest.” He kissed away the smear, playfully licking at his lips, which made Keith grimace as he shoved him away playfully. 

Lance noticed a family passing by, the mother ushering the little kid in the other direction while an older girl kept glancing back at them until the dad grabbed her arm and nudged her along. Something uncomfortable twisted in his stomach. 

It wasn't the first time he got looks for being with someone. Even when he was with Allura, people would stare because she was so much darker than him, they never even suspected she was Dominican. The way people stared then made his stomach twist just as much as they did now. 

He didn't understand why people had to take such a personal offense to who he kissed. It made him feel dirty, like he'd been caught having sex in the middle of a park or something. But all he'd ever done with either Allura or Keith in public was hold their hand and kiss them. And there was nothing wrong about that. 

“Lance?” Keith reached out to smooth the furrow of his eyebrows and tilted his chin up. “What happened?” 

He shook his head and kissed him again. Partially as a reminder to himself that he could, and partially as a silent fuck you to anyone who thought their opinion mattered. “Just annoyed that I can't hold your hand while I'm eating this. Let's go find more games before we get on the ferris wheel, yeah?” 

Keith hummed, his eyes scanning his face carefully. But he nodded and fell in step with Lance. 

They walked around as Lance finished his funnel cake, during which Keith found two games. A game of darts against balloons that had Lance hiding behind Stitch and cheering when Keith popped the color Lance challenged him to, and a basketball toss that he was ridiculously good at. 

“I thought you hated sports,” Lance pointed out when Keith managed to get every ball through the hoop. 

“Because I got competitive and angry. Not because I was bad at them,” he answered with a smirk. He took the medium sized stuffed shark and waved it at Lance. “You beat me at the size of the prize, but… this one's yours.” 

Lance smiled and took the shark, hugging it to his chest as his cheeks heated up. No one had ever won him a prize before. “I love it. Thank you,” he mumbled into the shark fin. He pulled back and looked at the adorable friendly face on it. “He's cute! And he needs a name.” Lance looked at Keith and laughed. “What about Keef. He lives in the reef.” 

Keith's eyes narrowed. “I regret everything,” he said flatly. Lance protested, laughing and following after him. Despite his supposed grumpiness he could tell Keith was fighting a smile. “You're really gonna name it that?” 

Lance shrugged. “That way he reminds me of you. Unless you've got a better idea?” Keith stared at the shark and hummed. 

After a while, Lance could see the defeat in his eyes. “Keef the Shark it is,” he said, looking at Lance with a sideways smile. Lance beamed at that. 

They interlocked their hands, both holding their own gifts and started walking toward the Ferris Wheel. But as they walked, something caught Lance’s eye and he came to a stop. Before Keith could ask, Lance breathed out, “Giant lion.” 

Keith followed his gaze and saw the gigantic lion, taller than Lance, stuffed and fluffy enough that Lance imagined both he and Keith could use it as a pillow. Everyone who passed pointed at it, cooing at the adorable large eyes and sewn in smile. “Holy shit. It’s one of those high striker games.” 

“Are those even winnable?” 

Almost in response, the guy currently standing there managed to ring the bell, earning a series of cheers. But he didn’t get the giant lion. He got a large Minion stuffed prize. “I wonder what you gotta do for the lion.” Keith looked at Lance and raised an eyebrow. “How many tickets do we have left?” 

Lance pulled the small string of tickets out of his pocket, counted them, and looked at the board in front of the high striker. “Enough for one of us to play. Frankly, I think you should do it. You’re the one who lifted a grown woman over your head.” 

“Alexa isn’t that heavy,” Keith said, rolling his eyes. “Are you sure? What if I can’t win that thing?” 

Lance shrugged. “I’m sure you can think of a way to make it up to me,” he said with a wink. 

Keith blushed slightly but only smiled back. “Well now I don’t think I want to win it.” 

“Oh, if you win it, it’ll be me thinking of how to thank you.” Lance winked at him. “Depends on you, babe.” Keith turned ever redder and snatched the tickets out of his hand, making Lance laugh as they made their way to the game. 

“Uh, so what do I gotta do to win the lion?” Keith asked, studying the contraption, gauging the height before looking at the guy taking tickets. 

“You get three tries to ring the bell!” he shouted, as if he were announcing it to the whole carnival. “Ring it once, you get a prize! Ring it twice, you win a bigger one! But to get the lion, you gotta ring it all three times! Think you’re strong enough?” 

Keith eyed the game and Lance looked between the man and Keith. He watched Keith grab the mallet and test it out in his hand. “Can I test the effect of this thing on here? Without it counting?” 

The guy made a face. “That’s not-”

“I’ve got ten dollars for a test hit,” Lance said, fishing in his wallet. Keith looked at him in surprise, but Lance held out the bill. “Ten bucks, he gets a test hit, then he takes his three turns.” 

The guy’s carnivalesque image dropped and he mulled it over. “Alright, deal. Just one test hit.” He snatched the money and stuffed it into his pocket. Lance gave Keith a thumbs up and grabbed Stitch from him. He stood aside, watching, waiting. Keith took a breath and hefted the mallet, bringing it down with a grunt. The metal lever made it up halfway, and Lance noticed Keith’s frustration. “Okay, three tries, that’s it,” the carnival guy said immediately. 

Lance stepped forward and took Keith's face in his hands, pressing a quick, chaste kiss to his lips. “You got this!” 

He stepped back to hold onto the stuffed animals, watching in excitement. He didn't really care if they got the lion or not. He just liked the crease of determination between Keith's eyebrows, the way he bit his lip as he shifted his hands on the handle of the mallet, the way his eyes were so dark they looked gray as they scanned the game over. 

Keith brought the mallet down with much more force than before, eyes narrowed and a grunt of exertion making its way past his lips. The successful ring of a bell made them both smile. 

“Oh! One ring down! Two more to go, can he do it, folks?” The carnival facade was back in the guy's voice as he turned Keith into a living advertisement. 

Keith rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. He met Lance's eyes and winked, making Lance's knees go weak. Again, Keith lifted the mallet over his head and brought it down with a growl, his biceps flexing slightly. Keith's strength made Lance want to melt into a puddle. 

Another successful ring and a few cheers from some spectators had Lance gripping Keef tightly with one arm and digging his nails into one of Stitch’s hands. “Two rings down, everyone! One more and he takes the grand prize! No pressure, Mr. Muscle.” 

Keith huffed and leaned on the mallet. “Please shut up,” he muttered. Various shouts of encouragement came from the crowd, but Keith didn't react to them. He just looked at Lance again and shrugged. “Here goes nothing, pretty boy.” 

Lance bit his lip as Keith slammed the mallet down again. The bell rung for a third, final, beautiful time. The small crowd was cheering and Lance was laughing with nervous energy being released as joy. He hauled their prizes over and congratulated Keith by peppering his face with playful kisses that made him laugh. 

“Here you go,” the carnival dude said uncomfortably as he looked between the two. “Congrats!” He handed over the lion and went back to his spot to continue shouting at people. 

“Jesus, this guy is huge,” Lance said. 

“What are you naming him?” 

Lance smiled and shook one of the big paws at Keith. “Actually… what if we shared him? You did the work for him after all. And I've got Keef already.” Keith blushed at the name of the shark. “I can keep this guy a week, you can keep him the next.” 

Keith's expression softened and he reached out with his hand to fix Lance's collar. “Okay, pretty boy. But our lion still needs a name.” Lance hummed and looked at it. Keith tousled the fluffy mane and said, “How about Laith? It means lion in Arabic, I think. And… it's also a mash up of our names.” 

Lance's eyes widened as he looked at Keith and broke into a wide smile. “God, you're perfect.” 

Keith blushed and looked at Lance with an adorable smile that made his nose scrunch up as his hair fell in front of his eyes. 

The compliment made Keith’s face turn red, but he just laughed and said, “Come on, don’t we have a Ferris Wheel to ride?” Lance nodded, but as they began walking, Keith stopped and stared at their prizes. “How are we supposed to get on with these three? I don't think they'll let them on.”

“We'll have to leave them in the car. But let's hurry before the line gets too long.” They hauled the lion and Stitch and the shark over to the wide parking lot. They laid Stitch and Keef along the back seat before stuffing Laith the Lion in the trunk. 

Before they could start heading back to the ferris wheel, Keith grabbed Lance's wrist and pulled him in as he leaned against the trunk. “Hey there, pretty boy,” Keith said with a smirk as Lance leaned against him to regain his balance. 

He blushed deeply, but the night around them hid it. “Hi.” 

“I thought you'd like to know that this is the best and the cheesiest date I have ever been on.” 

Lance laughed and wrapped his arms around Keith. “Well, I've been behind your only two dates, so….” 

Keith rolled his eyes and kissed him softly. “Yeah, but still.” Lance laughed again, muffled by Keith's lips against his own.

“Well, I'm glad I could one up myself. And I'm glad you're having a good time.” Keith hummed and looked at him with eyes that seemed to be holding something back, and a smile so soft it made Lance forget to breathe. “What?” Keith shook his head. “What are you thinking?” 

He sighed and traced a finger along Lance's lips, shutting his eyes as he pressed their foreheads together. “Just that I always have a good time when I'm with you. I'm happy around you.” Keith pulled away and opened his eyes to look at Lance. “And that kind of scares me. And so does the fact that I'm admitting this to you in the first place.” 

The admission, the look of vulnerability warring in those violet eyes against fear, the way Keith held on to him…. It made Lance's heart clench. Lance took his face between his hands, and Keith sighed as if in defeat. “Hey,” Lance whispered. 

Keith looked at him with an anxious bite of his lip and Lance leaned forward to kiss him. To really kiss him. Because there in the dark of the parking lot, there was no one staring, no one making faces, no one else to worry about. There was only Keith. 

It felt impossible to stop. Keith pressed Lance closer, even when there was no space left to fill. It wasn't until Keith pulled back breathing heavily as Lance tugged on his lip and he said, “Hey, we've got a ferris wheel to ride, pretty boy.” 

“Mm. Yeah.” Lance let his hands fall from Keith's face and settled for interlocking their hands. 

They peeled themselves away from the car, taking the walk back to the carnival to cool down. Lance’s lips felt all tingly and he didn’t think he would ever get tired of kissing Keith. The line for the ferris wheel was relatively short, considering it was the main attraction for any carnival goer. It would be a bit of a wait, but Lance busied himself with braiding little sections of Keith’s hair. 

“Why are you doing that?” Keith asked with a laugh. But he didn’t seem to mind it. “How do you know how to braid?”

“Your hair is long and fluffy,” he said as if that explained it. “My mom taught me how to a long time ago. I think I was eight, and Veronica was nine or ten? My mom had broken her finger so she couldn’t do Veronica’s hair before school anymore. None of my other brothers were willing to learn, and my dad left to work too early. So she taught me and I did it until my mom got better.” He shrugged and dropped another small braid before picking up another section of hair. “I got really good at it, and it was fun to me. Pidge lets me play with her hair and A-” Lance clamped his mouth shut and felt his body spike with panicked heat. 

Keith raised an eyebrow. “And what?”

Lance collected himself and plastered a smile on his face. “A friend used to let me play with her hair a lot. So I know more than a few kind of braids.” It seemed enough explanation for Keith, and it didn’t lead to any more questions, so Lance let himself take a gulp of air to calm down. “I figured if I ever had a daughter, I’d want to know how to do her hair too.” He shrugged. “Or if I have a niece.” 

A smile tugged at Keith’s lips. “You want kids?” Lance froze, not sure if it was okay to talk about that yet. They weren’t even really dating, and it was only date two, and Keith was a guy, it wasn’t like they could have kids. Well, if it came to that, there was adoption or surrogacy, but- Keith interrupted his thoughts with a laugh and a reassuring squeeze of his hand. “Hey. I meant in general. It sounds like you’ve thought about it before.” 

And he had. Even before he met Allura. He had an amazing dad, and he’d loved children even when he was one. He used to love feeding any baby cousins, and when he grew up a little more, he quickly became the favorite cousin because he was always playing with the kids. When he met Allura, that possibility became more concrete, and they’d even discussed it. Marriage after graduation, two, maybe three children at least, and if more came along that was fine. 

Now, Lance had no idea what he expected out of his future. He hadn’t thought of it much since Allura died, and he never expected Keith to come into his life. It changed everything. 

Lance took another breath and nodded. “Yeah. I would want kids in the future. My mom likes to remind me it’ll be way, way in the future, but… yeah. One day.” Keith nodded and let his gaze wander to the ferris wheel as the line moved forward a bit. “What about you?” 

Keith grimaced and chuckled. “Ah. I keep changing my mind. I don’t know if I’d be very good with kids at all. I don’t know if I could ever be at a good enough place to have them. But after being a foster kid all my life? I do want to foster or maybe adopt. The older kids, you know? The ones that end up feeling like no one wants them because they weren’t small or young or cute enough. I’d like for them to feel wanted.” 

“Is that how you felt?” Lance asked softly. 

Keith turned to look at him and smiled. “I did at one point. Because I didn’t know why my parents had left me. And my foster parents were nice, but if they couldn’t afford it anymore, I’d have to move, or they would just… not want to adopt. I was also a bit of a trouble maker, so I didn’t really make it easy to be wanted.” 

“But… Shiro’s parents did. You said they wanted to adopt you. You just didn’t want them to.” Lance was being careful about how he asked things. He knew Keith could start shutting down at any moment, and he was already treading on thin ice. 

But Keith seemed to think his words over, like he was deciding how much information he would want to indulge. He nodded and tugged on one of the braids Lance made. 

“I did want them to, kind of. It just wouldn’t have felt right. Because I have my birth mom. I've met her.” Lance’s eyes widened, but before he could say anything, Keith kept talking. “She managed to contact me in the early months with the Shiroganes. She’d asked them to let her see me, and they did. But they wanted to place all these restrictions about when and for how long and with one of them there with me, and…. I started sneaking out to see her instead. She’s not a bad person. And she didn’t want to give me up. But she was in danger and she didn’t want me to be part of it. And she had to do a bunch of stuff to be allowed to come in contact with me. I don’t know all the details because she wouldn’t tell me, but that’s the basics of it. I have my mom, and even without me near her, she wanted the best for me. I couldn’t bring myself to be okay with being adopted. I didn’t wanna give her up.”

Lance let all of that sink in and looked at Keith for any clues of how he felt about it. If he was angry or frustrated or hateful. He wondered how he felt when he saw his mom for the first time. Or if he resented the Shiroganes for trying to control when he saw his mom. But he didn’t want to ask any of that. He didn’t want the date to get filled with sad backstories or push Keith more than he had. He already indulged in so much more than he usually did. Lance could tell by the tension in his shoulders that he was starting to get anxious with the subject. 

So Lance went for a simpler question. “Is she nice? Your mom?” 

At that, Keith’s eyes brightened. “Yeah, she's really cool. A little awkward, sometimes. I mean… well I am too. I like hanging out with her. I try to keep her company on the holidays too.” Keith shrugged and smiled up at the ferris wheel. “I think we'll get a cart this time.” 

Catching on to the subject change, Lance only smiled and peeked at the line. There were a handful of people ahead, but it seemed like there were enough of the previous passengers for them to take their spot.  

Once they got seated, Lance nearly reached over to drape his arm around Keith before snatching his arm back. Keith laughed softly and took his hand, pulling Lance closer. 

“You know what?” Keith said as the ferris wheel moved another spot to let another pair on. Lance hummed. “I've only been on this thing once before. With one of my foster dads. I think I was… twelve?” He looked out as they moved again, letting one more couple on. “So I'm kind of excited about this one with you.” 

Lance smiled and leaned into him, resting his head on his shoulder as he pulled Keith's hand to his lips. The ferris wheel started moving taking them up high enough to see the entire carnival below them. They could see the children running, other people on dates, the lines of groups of friends, and families walking with strollers. They saw the flickering lights and even father, the headlights of cars on the nearby freeway. 

When Lance looked away from the view in favor of looking at his date, his breath stopped. The wonder in his eyes and the serene look on his face made him more beautiful than he already was. It was crazy to think that Keith was here with him. That he could lean over and just kiss him. He could still remember the way his eyes used to be so distant and guarded. It wasn’t to say he didn’t get like that still. There were moments when he evaded questions and the tension would seep back into his body. Lance feared asking the wrong thing and backtracking on their progress. 

But at that moment, with the ferris wheel taking them up and down, the sights of the city and carnival reflecting in their eyes, that fear was gone. Keith’s fears were gone. Lance kissed his cheek and smiled when Keith looked at him. 

“Can I take a picture of you?” Lance asked him.

Keith’s eyebrows rose, but he smirked and nodded. “Sure. What do I do?” 

“Nothing, just keep watching the scenery.” Keith snorted but turned to stare out. There was a smile on his face now that he knew he was being watched. Still, Lance took a few “candids” before flipping the camera and leaning into Keith for some pictures together. 

When he had a few pictures, he put his phone away and curled into Keith again, staring out at the view. Keith slid his hand into his hair, scratching soothingly as the wheel kept turning. When it started slowing down, they were lucky enough to be a couple spots away from the very top. 

“You know we have to have a super romantic kiss when we're at the peak, right?” Lance asked. Keith smiled and turned to press a light kiss to his forehead. Lance looked up and saw the full moon, bright in the sky even against the carnival lights. 

They moved up another spot. “Keith?” He hummed and turned slightly his attention on their interlocked hands. “Thanks for giving me a chance. I know I'm probably the last person in the universe you'd have thought to give a second thought to, but… I'm glad you did.” 

Keith pulled away to cup his face as they moved up another spot. His eyes were as gentle as his hands as he looked at him. “Well, I'm really happy you were so stubborn. Thank you for coming back for me. And for not giving up. And being so patient.” Lance chuckled and placed his hands over Keith's as he leaned in. But Keith pulled back, grinning widely. “Wait,” he whispered. Lance frowned, but then he felt them move another spot up. 

They were at the peak now. Keith leaned back in, brushing his thumbs along Lance's cheeks. And then he was pressing his lips against Lance's softly, coaxing his lips to part with a gentle pressure. 

Lance had an urge to climb into his lap, but he settled for the uncomfortable half turn the seat allowed. He felt his heart hammering away in his chest, but he tethered himself with every point of contact with Keith. His warm fingertips, the smooth leather of his gloves, his soft, warm lips…. They were a completely different reality Lance never wanted to leave. 

Even when their seat moved again, they didn't end their kiss. It wasn't as heated as the one in the parking lot, but it was just as intense for Lance. It still left him wanting more. 

They pulled away and Keith smiled as Lance let out a shuddering breath. Keith wiped Lance's mouth with his thumb, chuckling softly at the dumbstruck look on his face. “You're ridiculously cute, you know?” 

“Oh my God, stop, I'm supposed to be the one making you blush on our cheesy date,” Lance grumbled hiding his face in Keith's jacket. 

He could feel Keith's shoulders shake as he chuckle. They got off the ferris wheel hand in hand, slowly making their way back to the car. 

“Thanks for an amazing date, Lance,” Keith said softly.

“Ah, don't thank me yet. I still gotta get you home.” 

“Actually… could I stay with you? It's a little easier dealing with a messy sleep schedule when I'm with you.”

Lance grinned and nodded, tugging Keith closer. “Of course. Do you wanna stop at your place to get anything?” Keith nodded and they made their way to the car. 

The drive was comfortably quiet. The radio played at a low volume, their hands remained interlocked over the center console, Keith looked out the window with a tiny smile tugging at his lips. When they got to his house, Keith pulled Stitch out from the back, and Lance followed him inside. 

As soon as they went inside, they saw Shiro and Adam laying on the couch, watching something on the television. Lance greeted them awkwardly as Keith made a beeline for his room.

“Damn Keith, not even a hello?” Shiro called. “What's that you got in your arms?” 

“None of your business!” he shouted back from the hallway. Lance chuckled and sat down on the loveseat in their living room. 

Adam twisted around to look at Lance. “Hey. Did you get him that?” 

“Yeah, I won it at the carnival. And he won me a shark. And then we got a lion. Keith won it, but we're sharing it.” 

“Aw that's cute,” Adam said with a smile. Lance noticed Shiro hadn't said anything and he tried not to feel like an intruder. 

“Lance, can you give me those pictures we took?” Keith called. Adam and Shiro shared a look that made Lance nervous, so he hurried to go meet Keith in his room. “I don't wanna forget them, so I wanna put them up now.” 

“Yeah, here,” he said, pulling them out of his jacket pocket. Keith took the strip of pictures and tucked it into the corner of a small corkboard covered in reminders. “Do you need any help?” 

“No, I'm just gonna throw some clothes and my toothbrush in a bag. I'll meet you out there in a minute.” Lance nodded and kissed his cheek before heading back to the living room, stifling his anxiousness. 

Shiro and Adam were mumbling, but by the time Lance sat back down, they were sitting up and looking at him. It made him feel like he was being interrogated. 

“Is Keith heading back to your place?” Shiro asked. Lance couldn't read his expression. It was far from the look he gave Roland, far from the glare Lance had received when he first met him in the hallway, but it was also far from the friendly smile on his face when Lance picked Keith up for their first date. 

“Uh, yeah. Is that… cool?” 

Shiro snorted. “I'm his brother, not his dad.” Lance nodded and tucked his hands under his thighs to keep them from fidgeting. 

Thankfully Keith came back with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. “Ready?” 

Lance started to get up, but Shiro's voice made him freeze. “Hey, I was thinking of having a cookout on Friday. You should come, Lance.” 

“Really?” 

“What are you doing?” Keith asked, stepping in front of Lance. Adam laughed quietly and Shiro shrugged. 

“Being nice.” Keith narrowed his eyes and looked back at Lance. “I'm just saying, it looks like this g- Lance is gonna be coming around a lot. I'd like to be able to do more than just say hi when he appears for five minutes.” 

Keith and Lance both blushed at that. Lance took his hand gently. “Um, I'm up for it,” he said. 

Shiro nodded and smiled. Lance wasn't sure if it was genuine but it was progress. “Alright, so we're gonna go now,” Keith said, tugging on Lance's hand. “See you tomorrow, Shiro, Adam!” 

He pulled Lance out the door, but not before they heard Shiro yell, “Use protection for any recreational activities!” 

Keith groaned and hurried them back into the car, his face a deeper red than Lance's. “I'm so sorry. God, that asshole. He's just getting back at me because I was a little shit when he brought Adam home-” 

“Keith, Keith, babe!” He grabbed his face before he could get in the car, hoping to calm him down. His eyes widened as he looked at Lance. “It's okay. Siblings always do that kind of thing. God knows I've done it to my brothers and my sister.” He smiled and kissed him softly. “It's okay.” 

Keith took a breath and nodded, leaning into Lance for a moment. Then he pulled away and kissed Lance's cheek. They got in the car and Lance turned the engine, hesitating for a moment. 

When his hand stayed unmoving on the gear shift, Keith put a hand on his shoulder. “Lance?” 

“Yeah?” Keith raised an eyebrow and Lance shut his eyes. “Oh. Uh. I was just wondering…. Do you want me to go? To the cookout.” Keith frowned as he stared at him. “I just… you seemed to want to get me out of there really fast and I know you might still think that I'll go awa-”

“Oh! No, Lance, God no.” Keith put a hand on his face and smiled sheepishly. “That's not what I…. I know Shiro has the best intentions, but I also know he can be an ass. I didn't want him teasing us and freaking you out or something. I'm glad that you wanna come over. I just hope Shiro doesn't pull more of that crap he just pulled.” Lance let out a relieved sigh and Keith laughed. “God. We're a mess, aren't we, pretty boy?” 

Lance chuckled and shrugged. “Just a bit.” He leaned over to kiss him before putting the car in reverse and starting for his apartment. 

He hauled Laith the Lion in and sat him down in the corner while Keith put his duffel bag in the room. He turned on the television and laid down on the couch as he surfed the channels. A moment later, Keith came back and wordlessly draped himself over him. 

“I'm gonna be the little spoon now,” he muttered into Lance's chest. Lance laughed and wrapped his arms around him. “What are we watching?” 

“I don't know, what do you wanna watch?” Eventually they settled on something neither of them had watched, and about twenty minutes in, Lance felt his phone start vibrating in his pocket. He shifted to pull it out and felt his stomach drop. Keith looked at him curiously. “My sister.” 

“Are you gonna answer…?” 

Lance held on a little tighter to Keith and swiped the green button. “ Que pasó, manita?” 

“ Oye, pues, you said you'd call if it went well, did it not?” Veronica asked, sounding genuinely concerned. 

“Oh! No, it went great, Vero. We had a lot of fun. We got prizes and ate food and took pictures at that booth thing.” 

“Ferris wheel,” Keith whispered. 

“And we went on the ferris wheel,” Lance added, smiling at Keith. 

“That sounds like a perfect date,” Veronica said with a laugh. 

“It was.” Keith grinned and kissed his jawline lightly. 

“So do I get her name now? Where did you meet her?” 

Keith started rubbing his hand along Lance's arm in reassurance. “Uh, I mean…. Veronica, it's kind of… complicated.” 

Keith shifted to rest his chin on Lance's chest looking at him worriedly. “What do you mean? Oh, did you meet her on Tinder? There's nothing wrong with that-” 

“No, no, no, I didn't… we didn't meet through Tinder.” Keith chuckled softly. “I just…. I mean, I wanna tell you all about it, but it's….” 

Keith put a hand on his cheek and whispered, “It's okay. You don't have to tell her yet.” Lance narrowed his eyes, but Keith only used his thumb to smooth out the furrow. 

“It's what? Is this about Allu-” 

“ No, Veronica, that's- I'm not- look it's just….” Keith frowned and pulled himself up to sit, but Lance grabbed his arm to keep him from getting up. “ Chaparra, can we talk about this in person? Please?”

“Is everything okay, Lance? What's going on?” 

“Yeah, everything's good,” he assured her. “Everything's great, actually.” He tugged on a half-undone braid that was slowly unraveling just behind Keith's ear. He brushed his thumb along the side of his face, and Keith let his eyes close as he smiled. “I'm really excited about this. And I do want to tell you, I just want to talk to you face to face.” 

Veronica stayed quiet for a moment before she sighed. “Alright. Take care, okay? I'll see if I can visit before you come over here.” 

Lance gulped and took a steadying breath. “Okay, manita. I'll see you later. I love you.” 

“I love you more. Bye.” She hung up and Lance let his phone fall to the floor as he leaned his head on the arm of the couch. Keith laid back down, pulling himself up to look at Lance. “Hey,” Lance mumbled. 

“Hey, pretty boy. You okay? You sounded pretty panicked for a moment.” Lance shook his head and wrapped his arms tightly around Keith. “I'm not offended, you know. That you didn't correct her or tell her right away. I'm not stupid; I get it. Just because it was easy for me with my foster parents doesn't mean it's easy for everyone.” 

“God, my parents are Hispanic! And religious. I mean I don't think they'd hate me, but I don't know what they're gonna say or how to even-” 

“Lance, hey, Lance, hey, hey, hey!” Keith smooshed his cheeks together with a one hand to stop Lance's rambling. He waited until Lance met his eyes to say, “It's okay. You can take your time. I know you said this is for you, not just me, but you don't need to rush into it. You're okay.” He looked at Lance with a gentle fierceness in his eyes. “Okay?” 

Lance nodded slowly. “M-kay,” he said past the awkward hold Keith's fingers had on him. “Ca- you leggo an’ kish me now?” 

Keith laughed and leaned down to oblige as Lance's hands moved to rake through his hair, tangling their legs together. Lance didn't know how he was going to explain this to his family, or what exactly his sexuality was, or how they would react. But he did know this felt right. It felt good. He knew that Keith was good for him. 

He felt Keith's lips begin to trail toward his neck, gentle and chaste. Lance hummed softly, turning his head for Keith to have better access. He felt Keith's hand run over the buttons of his shirt, hooking on the top one. “Can I get this off?” 

Lance nodded and let out a shallow breath as Keith unbuttoned his shirt, kissing the skin that was revealed. “I thought I was the one thanking you,” Lance murmured. 

“Mm, you think I don’t enjoy this?” He pushed his shirt open and Lance felt his tongue lick up his his chest with the open mouthed kisses. “I like how you start breathing faster… and the little hums you make instead of moaning. I like the way you look at me when I do this to you.” Lance shivered beneath him, the words igniting a hot desire in the pit of his stomach. Keith bit down on his shoulder gently as he pushed the shirt off slightly. 

He sat up so Keith could push off his shirt, and once his hands were freed, he pulled Keith closer against him. Keith put his legs on either side of Lance. He ran a hand through his hair and tugged his head back so he could look at him. “ Keith.” 

Keith smiled at the way Lance’s name left his lips and he rolled his hips against him. Lance’s hands fell to his thighs, his fingers digging into the denim of his jeans. “Let me know if you wanna stop, okay, pretty boy?” Lance nodded and pressed his lips to Keith’s collarbone. Keith pulled his hair gently, tilting his head back. “I need a vocal answer, Lance.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll let you know.” His hands tugged his shirt up slowly and he bit his lip as Keith’s pale skin was revealed, goosebumps spreading wherever Lance’s fingers touched. “God, I missed touching you like this.” 

“We should move,” Keith breathed out, disentangling himself. He stood up and held a hand out with a smirk. “Come on.” Lance returned the half smile and took his hand. When he stood up, Keith pulled him close and lifted him up by his thighs, making Lance gasp in surprise. “You good?”

Lance chuckled in disbelief before he hooked his legs around Keith’s waist. “Oh, hell yeah.” Keith laughed and Lance leaned in to kiss him as Keith started for the room. 

He expected to get tossed onto the bed, but instead, Keith held him tighter and got on the bed using his knees to lay Lance down slowly. He didn’t pull away either. He kissed his neck and started working on covering his neck in hickeys along with the roll of his hips to reduce Lance to a gasping mess. 

“Can I… ask you something?” Lance murmured between heavy breaths. Keith hummed, taking his earlobe between his teeth and tugging. Lance moaned and wrapped his hands around Keith's bicep. “Have you ever um, ah, y'know been on top? Not like, physically, but-” 

There was a light chuckle against his throat. “I know what you mean, Lance. Yeah I have. But… the guys I've been with didn't really… like it. Fragile masculinity and whatnot.” He pulled himself up, eyes wide. “Um,  that's not- I mean, it's cool if people don't like being bottoms, but I just meant-”

“That they were one night stands that were experimenting so they freaked?” Lance finished for him. Keith chuckled awkwardly and shrugged. “And… with Roland?” 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows. “Once or twice. He didn't like being on that end, or so he said. He said it made him feel like he was being weak.” 

Lance frowned. “Um… that's not… how that works, is it?” Keith laughed and shook his head. Lance remembered that first night in Keith's shed, the way Keith had mentioned most guys had to be drunk to wanna do anything, much less go down on him. “Well… I wouldn't mind trying it with you. If you like it.” 

Keith kissed him softly and smiled. “You don't have to do that.” Lance opened his mouth, but Keith covered it with one hand. “I know, I know, you want to for you, not to prove yourself. But… I still think you should think about it. Tonight… why don't I teach you what you wanted to learn last time? If you want.” 

Lance hummed and caressed his cheek lightly, looking at the way his long hair draped around his face. “Fine. Because tonight's your night. But I'm sure my answer will stay the same in the future.” Keith smiled, his tongue between his teeth as his nose scrunched adorably. He leaned down to kiss Lance a little more insistently. Lance bit and tugged at his lip. “Can I at least do something for you?” 

Keith smiled and raised an eyebrow. “You want to blow me again?” 

Lance blushed and pulled himself up on his elbows, making Keith sit up, straddling him. “Well that or…. I mean, so I started watching some stuff-” 

“Stuff. You mean porn?” 

Lance ignored the comment. “And I found out there's, y’know rimming. I dunno how good that would feel or how to do it right but-” 

Keith grabbed his face and kissed him harshly, a smile against Lance's surprised lips. “Fuck, you're adorable,” he said against his mouth.

“Ke- ith!” Lance complained. “I want to… make you feel good.” 

Keith thrust his hips down and shoved Lance down by the shoulders. “Trust me you do.” He smirked down at him. “If you really want to try, then okay. But if not…. If you're at all uncomfortable with that, then it's okay.” 

“I want to,” Lance answered resolutely. “I want to at least try.” 

Keith bit his lip and reached down to unbutton his jeans. “You have to relax first, pretty boy,” he said softly. Lance sighed and forced the tension to leave his body. “C’mon. Just kiss me first, okay?” 

Lance nodded and reached up to pull Keith toward him, kissing him gently at first, then harder. The kiss became needier, their bodies pressing closer. Keith moved to lay on his back, pulling Lance on top of him. 

“You want me to talk you through it?” Keith asked softly. Lance nodded, running his hands down Keith's sides. “Okay. Let's get these off first.” Lance moved to push Keith's jeans off. He kicked them off and Lance sat on his heels to run his hands along Keith's pale thighs. 

“You're beautiful, you know that?” he murmured. 

That beautiful rosy blush flooded Keith's cheeks as he turned his head away. “You always catch me off guard when you say things like that.” 

Lance smiled and lightly tugged on his boxers. “You wanna turn over for me, baby?” Keith bit his lip and rolled over as Lance pulled his boxers down, leaving Keith bare on all fours. “Tell me what feels good for you okay?” 

“I will,” Keith answered, shifted his weight on his elbows. 

With that, Lance tugged him to the edge of the bed and got onto his knees at the floor. He ran his hands lightly up Keith's legs, up to his ass and back. He traced random patterns onto the hi warm skin on the back of his thighs, and Keith arched his back subtly. 

Then Lance leaned in, pressing his lips to the light crease between Keith's ass and his thighs. He skimmed his teeth lightly along the sensitive skin, making Keith let out a small breath of surprise. He pressed soft open mouthed kisses all across his skin. He watched as the skin turned lighter when he let go, watched it turn rosy wherever he bit gently, making Keith jolt slightly. 

“Can I mark?” Keith nodded, and Lance smirked. “I'm gonna need a vocal answer.” 

Keith looked over shoulder with a scowl. “Fuck you.” 

Lance shrugged. “You didn't want to!” 

Keith laughed at that kicked at Lance playfully. “You're a smart ass, pretty boy.” Lance grinned and bit him lightly, watching his cheeks flush. “Yes, you can mark.” 

With the permission, Lance sucked and bit down on the firm flesh of his ass. He watched as Keith's thighs flexed, appreciative of the muscle he now knew came from dancing. He worked on leaving purple marks and crescent bites all along the pale skin, making him a piece of art that no one else would ever be able to see. 

He pushed his cheeks apart gently, slowly kissing closer and closer to the puckered entrance. The closer he got, the more nervous he became. Lance had watched things and read stuff, but now he was in the moment. 

“You- you can stop- hmm - if you want to. S’okay,” Keith said breathlessly, falling to his elbows and burrowing his face in the covers. 

Lance responded by sliding his tongue up slowly, his hands gripping Keith's hips as he jerked forward and shoved his hands into the covers. “I'm okay,” Lance said. 

He moved his tongue in a circle, varying in size and speed, trying to pay attention to Keith's reactions. But he'd forgotten that Keith didn't like to be loud. His reactions were muffled and controlled. 

So Lance had to be creative. He slid his hands to his thighs, gripping them tight enough to feel the way the muscle flexed. He opened his eyes and watched the graceful movement of his shoulder blades as he moved to reposition arms or changed his hold on the sheets. He watched the rise and fall of his breaths, the way his head occasionally came up only to let it fall back down with a soft grunt. 

Lance tried to work his tongue in, but Keith pulled away with a soft, “Wait.” Lance pulled away, kissing the inside of his thighs instead. “Easy, babe. Still too dry.” 

Lance smoothed his hands over his back. “Okay. Give me a moment.” He stood up to go to his desk, and grabbed the bottle of lube he'd bought after the first time they got heated at his place only to stop because Lance had nothing more than condoms. He returned, pressing kisses down Keith's spine slowly, his tongue following the ridges down.  

Right. Saliva and lubricant were important. Lance swirled his tongue around Keith's entrance again experimenting with movements of his tongue until he had Keith's legs tensing. He burrowed his face into the mattress, pushing back against Lance's face. 

“L-Lance,” Keith panted. “Okay, okay, with the lube….” Lance pulled away, pressing his fingers into the hickeys littered across his skin. Keith pulled himself up on his hands and looked over his shoulder, his hair a tousled mess falling in his face. “Use the lube to ease your finger in. Slow. I'll tell you when you can use the other.” 

Lance gulped and grabbed the lube. “What if I hurt you?” 

Keith smiled at him and shook his head. “You won't. Just take your time and I'll tell you if anything feels off. And we'll do it together.” Lance took a nervous breath and nodded. 

He felt like a virgin all over again, unsure of every movement, self-conscious. It wasn't his first time eating someone out. But it was very different to do it to a girl than to a guy. Just like this next step would be. He'd heard horror stories from friends at his college. Girls who tried anal with a guy who didn't know what he was doing, or just guys who rushed into it with other guys and learned their lesson about what a bad idea that was the hard way. 

He didn't want to be one of Keith's horror stories. Especially not when he had already had such a bad past with the people he'd slept with. 

“Warm it up a little first, okay?” Keith's voice jolted him back to reality. 

“Yeah, okay.” He squeezed more lube than was probably necessary onto his fingers, rubbing it together until it lost its chill. Then he pressed his fingers against Keith's entrance with the gentleness of someone afraid to break something. 

He heard Keith chuckle softly. “First finger is pretty easy. Relax, Lance.” 

Lance didn't respond but he pushed forward a little more, once again watching the way Keith's body responded to the slow intrusion. He had to stretch him open, so he pressed against the muscle gently every now and then the deeper he got. He leaned forward and teased along the rim with his tongue as his finger made it to the second joint. 

The sounds of Keith's heaving breaths sounded louder than they were in the silence of the room. Lance pushed in a little more, twisted his finger gently. He pulled out, then pushed back in, watching for any possible hint that Keith might be in some sort of pain.

Instead he saw Keith's body relax, sinking lower into the mattress, his back arching beautifully. Lance felt the tension leave his own body a little and began to move his finger with a little more confidence. He heard a soft hum, as Keith pushed back against him. 

There was less and less friction the more he moved, until he could easily thrust his finger in and out. Keith turned his head and murmured, “Use another. Just start slow again.” 

Lance pulled out and added more lube to his fingers. He pressed his mouth against him again, tongue swirling against him before dipping in, this time without so much resistance. This time drawing a soft, long moan out of Keith. Figuring he should work his way up, he added one finger pushing against the wall slowly to stretch him enough to add the next finger. 

He knew he was supposed to look for the prostate, but he wasn't totally sure about how. He knew he would feel it when he did find it. Knew the feeling would make Keith fall apart if he did it right. 

“Lance, I'm not fragile. You don't have to be so gentle.” 

“I know you're not fragile. But I still want to be gentle.” He slowly prodded his second finger in, and the space felt tighter. But he could feel the clench as Keith tried to hurry him along. “So impatient,” he said with a laugh. He bit down on his ass hard enough to leave the imprint of his teeth and Keith sucked in a breath as he spread his legs a little further.

He took his time getting his fingers in, biting and kissing up and down Keith's legs until they were decorated with love bites and splotches of purple. Then, at Keith's breathless command he started spreading and twisting and hooking his fingers, varying the pace and the technique. 

He watched the way his toes curled and the way his bed was slowly coming undone with the way his body squirmed and his hands tugged. He could hear the muffled whimpers into the mattress. He could feel the way Keith pushed back into his touch. 

This time, he knew without Keith having to tell him when he could add a third finger. He heard a soft curse as the third began to stretch him open, but before Lance could ask if he was okay, Keith said, “Keep going, keep... fuck Lance, you're doing so good.” 

Warm with the praise, Lance continued, less hesitant and nervous than he'd been at the beginning. Once he'd managed to get down to his knuckles, he hooked his fingers and Keith let out a louder, surprised moan. Lance knew what he'd found. And with the way Keith clenched around his fingers, he wasn't sure if he had to be gentler or keep the same pace he had. 

“Oh God, that was good, Lance. That was good,” Keith panted. 

Lance couldn't help the cheeky smirk that spread on his face. He pumped his fingers again, avoiding that sweet spot except for an occasional brush that had Keith's legs trembling in anticipation. He focused more on opening him up until the only concerning friction came from the muscle trying to pull him in. He ran his tongue around the rim and used his free hand to pull Keith closer. 

He could feel the tension of Keith’s legs under his hands. He started searching for that bundle of nerves, the hand around his waist trailing along his front. He could feel the abdomen muscles clenching under his fingertips, and he went lower until his knuckles brush along Keith’s cock. He allowed his fingers to trail the length, more at ease with this part. This was a part he knew how to do. He knew what felt good. He watched Keith’s body shiver, a desperate breath escaping him. 

When he found his sweetspot again, he pumped his hand lightly at the same time he pressed his fingertips against it. Keith let out a garbled moan, his arms lashing out to find purchase in something sturdier than bedsheets. He loved seeing that reaction. He loved the way his hole clenched and his body shivered and he couldn’t even restrain the moans he always tried so hard to muffle. 

So he did it again. And again. And again. He pushed his fingers in and out, pressing confidently against his prostate, and he ran his thumb over the head to spread the globs of precome, facilitating the handjob. Lance leaned forward and licked around his perineum- a spot he hadn’t even known could be stimulating until he decided to try and educate himself- and Keith nearly melted into the bed. 

“La-Lance, oh fuck.” And that was about the gist of Keith’s vocabulary at that moment. At least until he wanted more. “N-not gonna… last, Lance.” He growled and moved Lance’s hands away, breathing heavily. “I want you. I want to finish with you.” 

Lance had been aware of his own neglected arousal, made more intense by Keith’s sounds and the movement of his body. 

He got off his knees with a slight wince and leaned over, pushing Keith’s hair away to kiss the nape of his neck. “Are you sure?” 

Keith nodded before chuckling softly. “Yeah. I’m sure. I’m good.” Lance nodded and kissed his cheek lightly, not really sure if he should kiss his mouth anymore. 

He leaned away, grabbing the condom packet that fell to the floor and tearing it open. While he got it on Keith was already grabbing the lube and squeezing it into his hand. He coated himself again and spread his legs further, pulling himself up onto his hands. Lance took the lube spread it on himself too before lining himself up. 

He wanted to check in on Keith again, but with the way his toes and hands kept curling in, he figured Keith was reaching his limit on patience. Besides, this part Lance knew how to do. This part wouldn’t be new with Keith. He slid one hand up his back and kept the other at his hip, keeping him in place. 

Lance worked this part slowly, more to tease than a precaution. He pulled back out each time he pushed in a little deeper, until he could see the hunch of Keith’s shoulders from the tension. He’d been so focused on his pace that he forgot to watch Keith’s body and was taken completely by surprise when Keith pushed himself back, taking Lance in to the base. 

Both of them let out a needy moan. Keith’s was closer to a yelp where Lance’s was more of an animalistic groan. He draped himself over Keith, holding his hips close, their bodies feeling inseparable. 

“You’re very impatient, you know?” 

“Maybe you’re just too patient.” Lance laughed against his neck and started kissing the sensitive skin there. He held himself up with one hand, placed next to Keith’s. At least until Keith noticed and interlocked their fingers. “Please move,” he murmured. 

Lance nodded and started rocking his hips forward slowly. Keith’s back arched, his hurried breaths rushing through his nose as he bit down on his lips. “So gorgeous,” Lance whispered, wrapping his freed hand around Keith’s torso to keep him pressed close. He was still so tight despite the preparation, and the warmth made Lance feel like he was losing his mind. He hadn’t even realized he was speeding up until Keith started letting out little gasps.

Before he could even consider slowing down, he felt Keith moving his own hips, meeting him at his pace. Lance untangled their hands and stood upright, grabbing Keith’s hips before thrusting into him at a faster pace. Keith let out a low moan and let himself fall against the mattress again. 

Meanwhile, Lance watched his ass ripple with each smack of their skin, and he dug his thumbs into the flesh, drawing out a soft curse from Keith. Soft grunts filled the room, and Lance suddenly missed being able to see Keith. All he had was the view of his back, bowed over as he shoved himself into the bed. And as beautiful as the sight of tousled hair a bouncing well-rounded ass was,  he liked seeing his flushed face more. He wanted Keith’s hands on him, not on the bed. 

He pulled out, and Keith began to grumble out a protest. Lance gently nudged him onto his side until he was able to get him to turn onto his back. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, pushing himself back with his elbows as Lance got onto the bed with his knees. 

“Wanted to see your face.” Keith blushed and stifled a surprised gasp as Lance pushed his legs up. Being a dancer, he wasn’t surprised that Keith’s body had no problem folding into itself. Lance pushed into him again, watching Keith’s face go slack as his eyes rolled back. “There we go,” Lance said with a smirk. He nuzzled his face into his neck, planting soft kisses with the slow rolls of his hips.

Keith’s arms hesitantly wrapped around him, little grunts reverberating in his throat. Lance thrust into him a little harder, a little deeper and he felt Keith’s fingers grasp at him as an unreserved, “ Ah-h fuck!” slipped from his mouth. If it hadn’t been for the way his legs hooked around Lance, he would’ve thought he’d hurt him. “C’mon, Lance, please.” 

Lance hushed him gently and continued lavishing him in kisses, keeping every movement slow until Keith was panting and squirming under him, bringing his hips up and mindlessly gripping onto his shoulders. Soft, barely audible pleas were murmured into Lance’s ear. 

“God, fasterfast erfasterfas-please!” Keith moaned, as Lance obliged. He pulled himself up onto his knees, gripping Keith by his thighs. The next thrust made Keith arch his back off the bed and let out a surprisingly loud moan. 

“Oh, perfect,” Lance said with a smirk. Keith looked at him with hazy, lilac eyes that screwed shut when Lance began pistoning his hips in and out relentlessly. He was driven both by the pleasure of the tightening warmth around him, but more so by the way a scarlet flush had begun making its way down Keith’s chest, the way his teeth clenched in attempt to muffle the grunts from each thrust, the way his hands reached for Lance. They reached for Lance. Any part of him they could touch. 

A light sheen of sweat layered his forehead, the crevices of his collarbone and neck. “Fuck, Lance, you feel so good,” Keith said in a broken voice. Lance held onto him harder, repositioning his own legs for a less tiring position. 

Keith's body arched off the bed as his hands held into Lance's thighs. His hair stuck to his neck and his forehead. His eyes fluttered open and shut between gasps for breath. It was a sight Lance didn't think he would ever tire of. 

One of Keith's hands wrapped around his own length, barely managing a few tugs before he was clamping his free hand over his mouth. Lance watched, unrelenting in his movement as Keith's body tensed and shook in front of him, his face an expression of pure bliss. 

And then his eyes opened, a sliver of grayish purple so soft, so ethereal it took the breath out of Lance. 

“Don't stop,” Keith whispered, his voice tight and breathless. His arm shook as he reached for Lance. He pulled him down by the nape of his neck until Lance was draped over him again. Lance cradled his head in his arms. He could feel the cold, sweaty locks of hair, the residual shivers and gradual tension of Keith's body as he held him. “Come on, Lance,” Keith murmured. 

He felt the muscle surrounding him clench, and a searing hot tightening of his abdomen as he continued fucking into an oversensitive Keith. He felt blunt nails raking into his back and heaving breaths at the side of his face. 

Soft curses continued to slip from Keith's mouth, his voice breaking more and more until Lance allowed whatever primal instinct he was suppressing to overcome him, desperate for release. 

The bed frame thudded against the wall obnoxiously. “ Keith,” he growled. But Keith couldn't talk. He was busy biting onto Lance's shoulder in a last attempt to silence himself. A stinging bite that had Lance overcome with white hot burst of fireworks until he was collapsing over Keith, shivering, sweaty, and breathless. 

Keith's hand was scratching his head idly, their trembling breaths the only sound in the room. 

“Lance,” Keith whispered. Lance hummed, unable to pick himself up. “You did so good.” Lance tightened his arms around him, pressing kisses to the side of his neck. “Surprisingly good for a first time.” 

Lance chuckled. “I read a lotta articles.” Keith laughed at that, causing another shiver to course through Lance's body. He pulled himself off to lay beside him, basking in the leftover warmth coursing through his body as he burrowed into Keith’s side. “How do you feel?” 

There was a soft, tired hum. Then a raspy, “Good. Really good.” Keith turned and curled into Lance’s chest. Lance smiled at that. It was so different from the first time they’d slept together when Keith seemed to expect him to walk away, when he’d been so surprised at any caress. “I’m all sweaty and gross though.” 

“What a coincidence me too,” Lance said. Keith snorted. “I’ll go get the water running, hold on.” He pressed a kiss to his forehead before untangling himself and going to the bathroom. He turned the water on then turned to the sink to brush his teeth and rinse his mouth. He’d been dying to kiss Keith, but he wasn’t sure how he would feel about that. It was different kissing someone after they blew you versus what Lance had just done. At least Lance figured as much. 

He felt a pair of arms wrap around him and he looked in the mirror to see Keith resting his chin on his shoulder. His voice was low and raspy as he spoke. “You’re joining me, right?” Lance smirked and winked at him through the mirror. He felt a light pinch on his ass and yelped, nearly choking on toothpaste. “Vocal answer, pretty boy.” 

Lance rolled his eyes and rinsed his mouth out before turning around to face Keith. “Yeah, I’m joining.” Keith smiled and pulled him into a kiss. He pulled away and turned to the shower, touching the water before stepping in. It gave Lance a clear view of all the marks on his backside. “Beautiful,” he whispered to himself. 

Then he made his way toward the shower to join him. 

It was unfair how attractive Keith was. His head was tilted up towards the spray of water, making his skin glisten as the water hugged him and trailed down every crevice of his body. His hair lost its volume as the water soaked into it, making it look longer. But seeing the way it looked pushed back from his face was a sight Lance wanted engraved into his brain. 

“You’re letting cold air in,” Keith complained, using his hands to wipe some water from his face before opening his eyes. “What are you doing?” 

“Admiring.” Keith turned red, but flicked water at him in retaliation for it. Lance laughed and closed the curtain, scooting under the water where Keith made room for him. 

Keith reached for the shampoo and squeezed some into the palm of his hand before tugging Lance forward and lathering his head. He scratched and tousled until Lance's head was full of bubbles that smelled like coconut. 

“Shouldn't I be the one washing you down?”

“Are you complaining?” Keith teased. Lance shook his head, purposefully making foamy bubbles splatter around them. “Lance!” Keith laughed and shielded his face. 

When it was Lance's turn to wash Keith down, he'd had every intention of making horns and Mohawks and a Santa beard and tickling him. But one his hands were in his soft hair, all he could do was gently massage his head to draw out a soft, content hum. He used slow strokes with the loofah across his body. Trailing a hand after the bubbles that streaked his skin. 

“That tickles,” Keith said with a soft chuckle. Lance smiled and nudged him under the water, running his hands over his body to help wash the suds off. 

Lance tilted his face toward him and leaned in to kiss him. He could taste the water running down his face, feel the warmth of the water amplified by how close they were. Keith's hands wrapped around his waist and Lance gently coaxed his mouth open. 

Kissing Keith was one of the most wonderful experiences Lance had ever known. It left him breathless each time. It didn't matter if it was a soft kiss or one filled with urgent desire, those lips would leave Lance wanting more. 

“Water's getting cold,” Keith murmured against him, only to continue licking into his mouth. 

“Am I not hot enough for you?” 

That made the kiss stop as Keith burst into unreserved laughter, covering his mouth as he leaned into Lance's shoulder for support. 

Lance smiled to himself and hugged him close. 

“I like your laugh,” he said. 

Keith lifted his head and pecked his cheek. “I sometimes like your jokes.” 

“Wha-hey!” Keith reached around him to shut off the water. “That was rude.” Lance felt for the towels he had hanging up on a nearby hook and handed one to Keith.

“I'll make it up to you.” Keith ruffled the towel in his hair before wrapping it around his waist and stepping out. His hair stuck out and water drops slid down his chest and over his shoulder blades. 

Lance chuckled and stepped out of the shower to tug Keith back by his arm. “God, I can't get enough of you.” He kissed him again and felt the smile against his lips before Keith bit down on his lower lip playfully. 

He pulled away and looked at Lance with a smile, soft and dazed. “C’mon,” he said softly. “I think we left the TV on.” Lance followed after him, wrapping the towel around his waist as he went into his closet to get clothes to sleep in. 

By the time Lance got dressed, Keith was back in the living room with the towel draped around his neck. “Do you not dry your hair?” Lance asked, watching drops of water slide down his face or onto the towel. 

“It air dries.” 

Lance rolled his eyes and sat Keith down on the couch. Then he took the towel and tousled his hair with it, playfully and insistently. After a few more tousles, he pulled the towel away and took section of longer hair to dry between the towel until his hair was a damp, fluffy mess. It was still wet, but at least it wasn’t dripping water. 

“There,” Lance said, running his fingers through the dark hair. Keith chuckled and put his hands on Lance’s hips. He leaned forward to press a kiss to his bare stomach, gently licking up. “Oh, are we going for another round?” Lance asked playfully. 

Keith snorted and wrapped his arms around his waist. He rested his forehead on Lance’s torso, leaning into him. “No, not tonight, pretty boy.” He sighed and leaned back to look up at him. “Could you kiss me again?” 

There was something in Keith’s eyes. It wasn’t distant or guarded. Not quite fear, but… uncertainty maybe. Though with the way he was holding onto Lance, he knew it wasn’t about him. After their night together, he knew Keith was more comfortable with him than he had been at first. It left him wondering what that look was, or if he was reading it right. 

Without the answers to any of it, he leaned down in hopes that his kiss would be able to erase it all and just let Keith come back to him, live in that moment with him. With the way he kissed Lance back, he figured he’d succeeded. 

Chapter Text

The warmth of the body draped over him added to the heat of the water, added to the breathlessness and the sweat prickling his skin along with the steam clinging to the back of his neck. 

“La-Lance,” Keith grunted. “I gotta go, pretty boy. I can’t be late.” 

“One day, ten minutes late, they won’t kick you off the team,” Lance panted behind him. 

“I’m captain,” Keith said, his voice hitching as Lance’s hips moved perfectly. “I’ll make it up to you later, but I really gotta get dressed.”

Lance grumbled but eventually pulled away, kissing along Keith’s neck instead. 

After spending the weekend with him (and Pidge and Hunk when they stopped by on Sunday), Keith had taken to staying at Lance’s a couple more times during the week. Lance stopped by his dance practices in the evening to bring him food on Tuesday, and picked him up on Wednesday after his classes. At least Keith could say he was being a positive influence, seeing as Lance liked to wake up with Keith, however early to see if he could convince him to stay a little longer in the mornings. 

Keith stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel and dried himself off. As he finished changing, he heard Lance shut the water off. He saw him in the doorway of the bathroom, the towel wrapped low around his hips. 

He smirked and raised an eyebrow as he grabbed his jacket. “Finish yourself off, pretty boy?” 

Lance rolled his eyes and smiled back. “No.” Keith chuckled and went to kiss him before leaving. But Lance grabbed his hand and kept him in place, lips skimming his neck. “You staying tonight too?”

“I can. But I’ll come by after I get lunch with Shiro. He’s meeting with me after practice, so don’t worry about bringing me anything today.” Lance nodded and pulled back to kiss him. “You make it so hard to walk away from you.” 

“Good,” Lance said with a pleased, cocky smirk. 

Keith rolled his eyes and nudged him toward the bed. “Go back to sleep. You don’t have class for another four hours.” He kissed his cheek and inhaled that soft coconut scent that clung to his skin and hair. “I’ll see you later.” 

“I’ll see you later. Text me,” Lance said. As Keith walked down the hallway, he heard Lance’s voice again. “God, you are the epitome of hate to see you go but love to watch you leave, mi principe. ” 

Keith turned and saw Lance eyeing him from the bedroom doorway. He only winked in response and walked out the door, hoping Lance didn’t catch his blush. 

When he got to the rehearsal space, Alexa was already holding out a concealer for him. He took it wordlessly and worked on hiding the hickeys Lance left that morning and over the week. 

“That beginning stage of a relationship is the best, isn’t it,” Alexa said with a teasing smile. “Fuck after fuck. I mean you’ve been practically glowing every day.” 

“Please don’t ever say that again,” Keith said, forcing the blush in his cheeks to dissipate. So they’d been spending more time between the sheets since Friday night. It wasn’t a big deal. Sex was fun and Lance was good at it. 

Besides, it wasn't the only thing they did. They did homework, they made chocolate cake in the middle of the night, they binged Netflix, they talked about their classes or their families or about their favorite movies. And it wasn't really a relationship. They hadn't put a name to whatever they had, they were just going with it, which was working out perfectly fine.  

Once all the marks were covered, he got the group together and they started working on the choreography for a new song. It was more experimentation than actual movement for that morning, taking the opinions of everyone to see what fit best. Before they were released that day, they went over the dances they did have down and cooled down with a playful dance that had them all more awake and less moody than they had been at first. 

After Keith dismissed them, he talked to Colleen a little about the drafted choreography they got and they decided on polishing it that evening. He was still grabbing his things when she’d left, and he heard someone clear their throat. 

He didn’t have to turn to know who it was. But it was strange because Roland hadn’t spoken to him directly since the week before. “What do you want?” 

There was no response. Keith looked over his shoulder and saw him standing against the wall, head ducked so his dirty blond hair covered his face. Keith figured that was just as well. He didn’t want to talk to him any more than he had the week before. 

He started for the door and when his hands touched the door handle, he heard him call out a hoarse, “Wait!” Keith sighed and turned to him, arms crossed. “Could I… use some of the concealer?” 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and didn’t say anything. At least not until Roland looked up and he saw the deep purple bruise around his eyes and on his cheekbone. “Jesus, who did you piss off this time?” 

Roland narrowed his eyes and looked away. “I don’t wanna talk about it. Can I use it or not?” 

Keith sighed and dropped his duffel bag to look for the concealer Alexa let him use. He handed it over and stood aside watching as Roland smeared it on, haphazardly. He kept wincing, and it was obvious he didn't know how to use the thing right. 

“Alright, let me see,” Keith said with a sigh. 

“I can do it,” he snapped. “It just hurts.”

Keith took the concealer and shoved his hands away. “Maybe, but Alexa is gonna strangle me if she thinks I wasted her makeup. Let me see.” He used a finger to smear and blend the makeup, grimacing each time Roland winced and flinched back. “You know you can't keep coming here with these bruises without worrying Colleen.” 

“You were the reason behind the first ones.” Keith shrugged. “Can I ask you something?” Keith narrowed his eyes as he finished. “It's not about the ragdoll that keeps coming by at the end of our practices.”

That made Keith scowl as he wiped his finger. “His name is Lance. Insult him again and I'll be causing more of those bruises on your face.” Roland rolled his eyes. “If I didn't know any better, I'd say you sound jealous.”

“Alright, alright. I'm sorry.” Keith crossed his arms and eyed him warily. “Do you hate me?” 

The question took him by surprise. He recalled the pain he felt when Roland told him to go away, accused him of corrupting him, all the pain that came after Keith had to be at dance rehearsals with him every day, the pain that came from Roland pretending he didn't know Keith as he trailed behind his girlfriend. He thought of how much of a zombie he'd become, to the point that Shiro had no idea what to do for him, to the point that Shiro was afraid to leave him alone. All of that pain and all of that fear that came from it. 

That pain and fear was still there. If he thought really hard about those memories, he could feel that agonizing heartache again. But if he didn't think of them, they were faded emotions. And he knew that was thanks to Lance. It was thanks to that pretty boy who greeted him with a kiss no matter who was looking, who held his hand as they walked no matter how many people stared, who gushed about him to his friends so much it became a source of blackmail for Hunk and Pidge. 

Keith shook his head. “No, I don't hate you. That would be giving you way too much time of day.” Roland stared at him wordlessly for a while. “I don't know what's going on with you. You attack me in a bathroom and tell me all this shit, then all of a sudden you're trying to play nice? What are you trying to get at?” 

Roland shook his head and stood up. “My head's just messed up right now. Thanks for helping me.” He didn't spare another look at Keith before he was heading out the door.

Keith didn't give it much thought. He didn't spare Roland another thought for the rest of the day, not even when he saw him again at rehearsals that afternoon. And Roland seemed to keep his distance too. 

Just like that, it was back to the usual- pretending the other didn't exist unless the choreography stated otherwise. 

By the time Keith went out to where he’d parked his motorcycle, Shiro was waiting beside it with his own. He looked up when he heard Keith’s footsteps and smiled. “So I’ve been craving burgers.” 

“Burgers it is,” Keith answered. With that, they put on their helmets and left campus. Keith followed him until they reached a small little family-owned diner that had been put up. Adam had taken Shiro there on their first date, and it quickly became Shiro’s favorite place for a burger. It had kind service and delicious food- and was typically where he took Keith when he felt they needed to have some brotherly time together. 

They were seated outside, the cool wind welcomed in light of the stifling heat inside. Shiro looked him over, eyes lingering on his neck before he smiled. “So, how’ve you been, stranger? I hardly see you anymore.” 

Keith rolled his eyes. “Oh, c’mon. I stop at the house every day. It’s not my fault you’re just usually not there when I do.” 

“No, yeah, it’s cool. I’ve replaced you with the giant Stitch in your room. He’s quiet, doesn’t come out of there, and never answers the door when I knock. Not a big difference.” Keith balled up a napkin and threw at him with a slight scowl, which only made Shiro laugh. “No, but really how’ve you been? It just seems like there’s been a big shift with you and Lance, and I just wanted to see how you’ve been feeling about it.” 

It was something about the way Shiro said that, with a kind of hesitance that made Keith nervous to answer. He shrugged and busied himself by drinking some of his soda. “I’ve been good. We’re good.” 

Shiro nodded, and seemed to drop it for the time being. But Keith knew his brother. He knew he was saving the unpleasant stuff until after the food, when Keith had the option of storming off. 

“So, Roland's been acting weird,” Keith said, fishing for anything aside from the elephant in the room. 

It only made Shiro scowl. “Please tell me you're not talking to that piece of shit again.” 

“I'm not. Not a lot. I mean, I'm the captain now, so I sort of have to, but not…. I just meant he's been acting sort of… nice but weird ever since Lance started coming around.” Shiro grunted, taking a bite of the burger that had been placed in front of him. “Well, okay, we're not talking about Roland, we're not talking about Lance- at least not yet- so, why don't you tell me what you want to talk about before you bring up whatever it is you want to say in the first place?” he snapped. 

Shiro only fixed him with a steady, if slightly amused face. “Keith, relax. Eat.” 

He might have argued if he weren't so hungry. Instead, he ate and let Shiro fill the time with random comments about people from work, something funny Adam did, or something he saw on TV. 

Finally the last ketchup smeared get was eaten and their cups were down to ice. Shiro drummed his fingers on the table and Keith waited, feeling his stomach grow tighter by the second. 

“So this new relationship-” 

“It's not a relationship,” Keith interrupted. 

“Right,” Shiro said, voice dripping with disbelief. “So the dates and the texting and the calling and the hickeys and that giant Stitch guarding a strip of photos in your room, plus I'm assuming the sex you keep going to his place for- that's all just usual stuff you do with anyone.” 

Keith narrowed his eyes and clasped his hands together. “He has no obligations to me, and I have none to him. We don't have a label, we're not in a relationship-” 

“So if he were to be making out with someone else right now andnyou saw him, you wouldn't be upset?” Keith clenched his jaw, the displeased twitch of his face too quick for him to stop. “Or okay, you're telling me if we threw another party tomorrow, I might find you making out with some stranger by the beer keg? Since you're not under any obligation or label with Lance?” Keith stared at him silently, tampering down the uncomfortable rage that filled his chest at the thought of any of those situations. “If that's the case, why did I bother inviting this guy over to dinner tomorrow?” 

“What's your point?” Keith muttered, kicking at the leg of the table restlessly.  

Shiro sighed and crossed his arms. “My point is that this thing you have with Lance, whatever the hell you wanna call it, might be… moving really fast.” Keith rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Last week, you were terrified of moving forward in this, and now this week you're practically moved in with him, Keith. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're opening up, but I'm scared you'll get too dependent or something-” 

“I thought you said I had the right to be stupid at my age.” 

“Yeah by making impulsive choices, not by being purposefully reckless! I mean, what do you even want out of this? Do you want a relationship, because you won't even name it! Do you want a fuck buddy, because if so you're a little too invested for it-” 

“What the fuck do you care, Shiro?” Keith yelled, not caring about the other table on the other end of the patio staring at them. “You tell me to have fun be young, then you turn around and lecture me about it? What does it matter if I don't want to name it? So what if I don't want to call him my boyfriend? It just means he won't end up being an ex, that's one less label I have to worry about!” 

Shiro stared at him that frustration that had been building in his eyes gone, replaced by that immediate worry and care Keith had noticed the second he'd walked into the Shirogane household. That look that said Shiro knew he was in charge of Keith, of protecting him, that he knew he was the big brother. Sometimes it made Keith feel happy and grateful. Sometimes it made him angry. 

“I care because I'm the one who ends up picking up the pieces and putting you back together, Hippo.” Keith scoffed, but the nickname had its effect. It calmed him down, and extinguished his anger. 

“You had to use that damn name,” Keith muttered. 

When Keith had first arrived at the Shirogane household, he refused to speak. Shiro had asked him his name, but Keith refused to answer. Shiro knew it of course, but he wanted Keith to tell him. And despite his age, he always went to bed with a blanket that had discolored cartoon hippos on it because it was the only thing he had since he was a baby in the orphanage and each of his foster homes.

Which made Shiro take to calling him Hippo until Keith finally spoke to him. 

“I keep telling you, you don't know how to do things in mediation. Yeah, I want you to take risks and have fun and recover from assholes like Roland and… He Who Shall Not Be Named.” Keith rolled his eyes. “But that doesn't mean you have to jump right into it. It's like you want to rush to get as much out of it before it goes away, and… Keith, you can't live like that. Expecting everyone to go away or disappear.” 

Keith didn't say anything to that. He felt like a reprimanded five year old. Shiro let him wallow for a bit, poking at the fry bits and bread crumbs from his burger. 

There was a lot Keith wanted to say, he knew that. He felt that in his chest, words that wanted a way out. But they all became half-thought sentences that made no sense and rendered him silent. 

After a while, Shiro said, “I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. And I'm not trying to make you doubt Lance. I just want you to be careful. You're an adult, you can do whatever you want, I just…. I worry about you.” 

“I can't help but feel the way I feel, Shiro. I don't want to be scared, but that doesn't make it go away.” 

“I know,” Shiro said softly. He waited a minute before asking, “So if he's not your boyfriend I guess I don't have to embarrass you tomorrow. You're still coming, right?” 

Keith smiled a bit before nodding. “Yeah. And he's super nervous about it so be nice.” Shiro scoffed and mimed a halo around his head. “And thank you, by the way. For being there to pick me up.” 

Shiro smiled at him. “It's what brothers do.” He gathered up his trash and kept his eyes on the table. “You coming home or headed to Lance's?” 

“Lance's..,” he said hesitantly. Shiro only smirked and rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, it's cool. I've been getting way more action with you out of the house anyway.” 

“Oh! Oh God, Shiro! Fuck you, I didn't need that,” Keith groaned, throwing more padded up napkins at him. “Seriously a piece of information I could have lived without.”  

Once they got back to their motorcycles, Shiro surprised Keith by pulling him into a hug before he could grab his helmet. Keith sputtered, but eventually wrapped his arms around his brother, knowing Shiro wasn’t going to let go until Keith reciprocated. Shiro’s hugs had quickly become Keith’s favorite. They were the most sincere, most unapologetic, least hesitant. 

His mom’s were always a little too soft, like she was afraid Keith would push her away. His foster parents gave him occasional hugs, feeling that Keith would prefer his distance. Over the years, Keith had foster parents that hugged him in various ways, but none like his brother. These hugs had kept him together on heartbroken nights, had calmed down the worst of his tempers, had comforted him when he least thought he needed it. 

Just like now.

“All jokes aside, you know I’m here for you right?” Keith nodded. “Good. I love you, Hippo. Let me know when you get to his place, so I know you got there safe. And I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll text you when I start the grill.” 

“I love you too, Shiro. I’ll text you. And we’re both looking forward to those burgers. I told Lance yours are the best he’ll ever taste, so, y’know, no pressure.” Shiro laughed and playfully tousled his hair until Keith was groaning and shoving his hand away. “Bye, Shiro.” Shiro nodded and they both got onto their motorcycles before speeding off. 

He didn’t actually lose sight of Shiro until they reached the highway. By the time he got to Lance’s he was trying not to think too much about what Shiro had said. The whole relationship, and what he wanted, and doing things in mediation. He didn’t think he depended on Lance. Maybe they were moving fast, but in this day and age, didn’t most people?

He sent Shiro a text that he was at Lance’s and then tried to shake off the day’s conversation. He went to the front door and knocked, surprised when Hunk answered the door instead. 

“Hey, man!” he greeted, letting him in. Keith walked in and heard Pidge greet him from the living room. “Lance is in the bathroom,” Hunk said. 

“You nervous for tomorrow?” Pidge asked with a smile. “Lance told us about Shiro inviting him over for burgers. He made us help him find a good outfit.” 

“An outfit?” Keith asked.

“To impress him,” Hunk said. “Once we got out of class, we met him at the mall. Swear, the more important the event, the pickier he gets.” Keith laughed and relished in the warm feeling that burst in his stomach. 

Then he heard an exclamation of, “ Mi principe!” before he felt a mass crash into his side, wrapping his arms around him and pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

Keith chuckled and blushed, pretending he didn’t see Hunk and Pidge’s knowing little eye contact. “Hey, pretty boy,” Keith greeted, turning to look at him. 

Lance smiled widely and kissed him on the mouth before letting go and plopping down on the couch. “How was lunch with Shiro?” 

He hesitated for a split second before smiling. “Good. Says he replaced me with Stitch.” Lance laughed, but the way his eyes lingered told Keith he knew there was more to it. “What are you guys up to?” 

“Hunk’s gonna make cookies before he goes to the library with Pidge to write an essay,” Lance said. He patted the space beside him to get Keith to sit down. He followed and sat beside him, almost immediately sinking into Lance's side. He wrapped his arm around Keith before freezing. “Is this… okay?” 

“Huh? Yeah, why?” 

“The arm around you thing,” he said sheepishly. 

Keith smiled and leaned further into him. “You're fine. It's different when it's a hug. You're not leading me while we walk or… using it to claim me as property or something.” Lance furrowed his eyebrows, and Keith could see the questions brewing in his soft ocean eyes. “You're fine,” he assured, stopping the questions before the could start. 

Lance responded by hugging him tighter. 

“Are you gonna show Keith your outfit for tomorrow?” Pidge asked once they stopped whispering. 

“I mean it's not all that fancy or anything. It's a cookout,” Lance said. 

From the kitchen, Keith heard Hunk snort. “I wish you were that lenient about it when we were shopping!” Lance grumbled and tried to hide his blush. “Come on stop mumbling and help me make the cookies or you get none.” 

“What kind of best friend-?” Lance scoffed and kissed Keith's temple before standing up. “Why can't you just give me cookies, you do it for Pidge!” Lance kept complaining as he walked over to Hunk. 

Pidge just laughed and rolled her eyes as she skimmed through Netflix. Keith waited until he could hear Lance and Hunk laughing in the kitchen before turning to Pidge and nudging her. She looked at him over the rim of her glasses. 

“Can I ask you something?” She nodded and put on a random show Lance had already been watching. She turned to Keith with a raised eyebrow. “How come you guys never… freaked out about Lance liking me? I mean, you guys seem really chill about it, but… Lance said he'd never been with a guy before, so…. I don't know, I guess I expected a fuss.” 

Pidge smiled and shrugged. “I mean, we did flip out in the car when he told us after the party. We weren't expecting it. But after we digested the information along with nursing our hangovers, we figured it was just… Lance. He's got a big heart, and I don't know if he sees it. Maybe it's the poet in him, but he's just… always seen people for more than what's on the surface.” 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows. Poet? He knew Lance liked poetry, but he'd never seen him write anything. Never read anything he'd written. But maybe that's what the worn out journals in his bookcase were full of. Somehow that fit him. Lance the poet. 

“Lance likes to ‘go with the flow’ in life. And honestly, after, y’know his last relationship, we were just mostly relieved that he was so serious about someone again.” 

“He's never talked about any previous relationships….” 

Pidge looked at him steadily, her amber eyes calculating. “I wouldn't expect him to. He doesn't like dwelling on the past. But as friends we were worried. We were glad when you came along. Besides it's 2018, we're past the whole ‘guys can like guys, question mark’ deal.” Keith chuckled and nudged the soles of his shoes together. “You don't still think he's not serious, do you?” 

“Oh, no, that's not it. I just… I don't know.” When Keith asked him before, Lance only said something drew him to Keith. A perfect storybook love story line of inexplicable magnetism that would wither away any logical doubt. A line Keith had accepted because the way Lance said it made it sound genuine. The way Lance treated him made it sound real. Lance the poet. 

Pidge stood up and sat beside Keith. “Keith. Hunk and I haven't seen Lance like this in a really long time.” The way her voice broke at the end made him look over at her. She was smiling, but her eyes were glassy. “It's like he's more himself when he's around you. You have no idea how much I missed that.” She blinked and looked up at the ceiling. “Shit, I didn't mean to get emotional.” 

“No, it's okay,” Keith said. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened with Lance's ex to have left him so messed up. He couldn't imagine someone breaking Lance's heart that badly. But if Lance didn't like dwelling in the past, if whatever this person did to him ruined him so much that Pidge was near tears about Lance being normal, he wasn't sure he wanted to ask yet. He didn't want to make Lance tell him.

Lance had been patient with Keith. Waited until Keith was ready to talk about his own past, backed off when he noticed Keith getting uncomfortable with questions. Keith could do the same for him. 

Pidge sighed and grabbed a textbook, busying herself. Keith looked over at the kitchen and saw Lance looking over at them worriedly. Keith smiled, hoping it would reassure him. Lance smiled and was pulled by Hunk who was asking him for something. Still bent over her textbook, Pidge said, “I mean I get it. It does sound strange, and if this were anyone else, I’d be suspicious too. But Lance is an honest person.” She looked at him and smiled. “If he says he likes you, he means it.”

Keith smiled back and nodded. But Shiro’s question kept rummaging around his brain. 

What do you want? 

At the moment, Keith wanted to cuddle up next to Lance and steady himself by counting his breaths. That’s all he wanted. 

A while later,the cookies were done, Hunk and Pidge had gone to the library, and Lance had his arms around Keith as they sat on the couch. 

“You okay?” Lance murmured in his ear. 

Keith nodded and and leaned back into him. “Just a little spoon kind of day,” he said. 

Lance hummed and hugged him tighter. “What happened at lunch?” 

Keith shook his head. “Ah, you know. Shiro just fulfilling his big brother duties. Making sure I'm not pregnant or something.” 

“Keith.”

“I know, I told him it's biologically impossible but, I mean, big brothers- whatcha gonna do?” 

He felt his head get tilted until he met Lance's eyes. Soft and comforting and the kind of blue that Keith only saw in surreal paintings. 

There was a smile on his face, but a quiet steadiness in that shade of blue in his eyes. “If you don't want to tell me, you can say that too, you know?” 

He wasn't sure why that was so relieving to hear. “I… I don't want to talk about it right now.” Lance nodded and kissed him lightly. 

“We still going to the cookout tomorrow?” Keith nodded. “Cool. Because I was running around como gallina sin cabeza looking for something to wear-” 

“Wait, what?” Keith said with a laugh. “I understood the word hen and that's all.” 

Lance blushed and hid his face in Keith's shoulder. “It's a saying. Like a chicken without its head. You know, chickens kind of run around all crazy when their heads get cut off. My mom liked to say it when she would struggle to get us ready.” 

“Ooh, that's morbid.” Lance laughed softly, and Keith angled his head to force him out of hiding is face. “I like hearing you speak Spanish. It sounds like music.” 

“You should hear me singing in Spanish,” he answered with a laugh. 

Keith brightened and turned to him. “Could I?” 

Lance hesitated and laughed nervously. “I was kidding. I'm not much of a singer.” Keith hummed, swearing he'd heard him singing in the car before. “But I can teach you all the swear words.” 

Keith rolled his eyes and smirked. “What about a poem?” Lance furrowed his eyebrows, looking at him uncertainly. “You have a lot of poetry books in your bookshelf. Do you have a favorite in Spanish?” 

Lance bit his lip and thought for a moment. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. His voice was small when he spoke again. It was a whispered melody of sounds Keith didn’t understand. The sounds of the s’s overtook the letter between in the softness of his speaking. His mouth moved differently. Keith could hear the occasional lilt, the accent placed on a certain syllable, he felt the rhythm of the words the way Lance spoke them. He could imagine where each line break would go. Lance’s voice got steadier as he spoke, stronger. Keith stared at him, fascinated by the calm expression on his face, wistful even. 

There was a peacefulness in Lance’s face as he recited the poem from memory, eyebrows furrowing now and then, the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, the gentleness of his voice, like a caress. Until his voice lowered again and he opened his eyes. They were distant, longing. The smile finally stretched across his face slowly, and Keith was afraid to speak, afraid to break the spell Lance had cast. 

Then those eyes were on him, smiling fondly, chuckling at the awestruck expression on Keith’s face. “That was Pablo Neruda’s El Mar. The Sea. Neruda grew up with the ocean, and usually found a lot of inspiration there. The poem is about the beauty of it, the importance it had and the love he felt for it. I love that poem because I always felt like the words were picked from my brain.” Lance ran his hand through Keith’s hair slowly. “I haven’t recited poetry in a long time. I’m surprised I still remembered it.”

“Why haven’t you?” Keith asked softly, feeling himself melt into him again at the gentleness of his touch. No one had ever touched Keith so carefully, so softly…. 

“Just caught up in other school work. I read them when I have time, but… I haven’t really said any or written any….” He shrugged and set his chin on Keith’s shoulder, his arms wrapped around him, his legs crossed under Keith’s own. Keith was fully encased by Lance, and it was comforting. 

“Well, if you ever wanna read any to me…. I never liked poetry because I never understood it. It felt like a coded message and I never knew how the hell to decode it. But the way you read it, even in another language… it makes me feel like I can understand it.” Lance chuckled and hugged him tighter. After a moment, Keith felt a nod. “Hey, Lance?” 

“Hmm?” 

“I know we have some unfinished business from this morning, but… I think I just want to do this tonight.” 

“That sounds perfect to me.” The response made Keith smile. He knew Lance wouldn’t have gotten annoyed or upset. He knew Lance wouldn’t even have initiated anything more if Keith didn’t. Still, it was nice to be right. It was nice to know him that well. 

They channel surfed through movies until they came upon Shrek 2, which was apparently one of many of Lance’s favorites. He was even mumbling the lines under his breath along with the character, but Keith could hear it clearly at his ear. He couldn’t help but smile at that. It was cute.

Eventually, Lance laid down, bringing Keith with him, insisting he get the prime little spoon treatment. About ten minutes from the ending, Lance fell asleep, his breaths slow and tickling Keith’s neck. 

He waited until the next movie was well over halfway before turning the TV off and pulling Lance into his arms to get him to bed. Lance, heavy sleeper that he was, only grunted in response to being hoisted up and carried. Keith was still careful about laying him down, though. Once he was tucked in, he ran his hand through his silky brown hair and observed the way the faint light streaking in accented his cheekbone, his jawline….

There was a part of Keith that felt like he was on a timer. He didn’t know how long the timer would go, but it was counting down, and Keith couldn’t change that. He wondered if all these little things with Lance would one day become mere memories. Would the little spoon/big spoon switching become what the arm-over-shoulders thing had become? Would watching Shrek and quoting movies as they played become what graffiti had? Would poetry and singing in the car become what dance became- something he still enjoyed but would always have to share with someone who had made him feel robbed? 

He wondered if Lance would show Shrek 2 to someone new in the future. Wondered if he’d think of Keith if he did. It was just a movie. But sharing it with Lance made it feel like more than that, and the idea of one day losing Lance and knowing in the back of his brain that someone new would be the one watching him quote it and drum his fingers along to the music made his stomach flip. The idea of Lance discovering new movies and songs without him made Keith unable to breathe. The idea of someone else becoming his little spoon, his big spoon…. 

Shit, he fucked up. He’d been perfectly fine keeping his distance, and now, within the span of a week, he was clinging to the things that made them Keith-and-Lance. Shiro was right. He had no idea how to do things in mediation. It was either keep Lance at a distance or… fall ridiculously fast and hard for him. 

The problem was, Keith couldn’t just go back to keeping him at a distance. Not when he was in this deep. 

He laid down slowly so he could face Lance and breathed in the soft, sweet smell of his laundry detergent. Dragonfruit? He wrapped an arm around Lance and curled in closer. The knot in his throat eased when Lance tightened his hold on him. Even in his sleep, he brought Keith closer. 

Keith sighed leaned into his chest to let his heartbeat lull him to sleep. 

Please be different. It might take me a while to believe it, but please. Please stay.

Chapter Text

Poetry invaded that night. Unfinished books, late assignments, pieces of half forgotten poems. Images Lance had created with rapid smeared pen scrawled across a paper took on life. He found himself walking through forests of jewels, sinking into tear-filled oceans, surrounded by hummingbirds and phoenixes, and holding bouquets of hyacinths and snapdragons.

He laid down on indigo colored grass until it became water keeping him afloat. He ate handfuls of bite sized sweet peaches and sour mangoes. Neon lights flickered above him in pretty green, orange, yellow, red, purple, blue, spinning slowly across the sky. 

All of a sudden the water around him was filling his nose and he was struggling to pull himself out. There were no tumultuous waves or overbearing current, just water rising more each time Lance managed to gasp for breath. 

Could you write me another poem, mi amor?

“Lance, hey.”

Read it to me? 

“-ake up, Lance, pl-” 

Lance could only see the lilac water, taste it in his throat. A blinding white light took away the twinkling neon, hurting his eyes. 

Keep going, it's okay. 

“Lance!” 

He woke up with a gasp that sent dry, sharp air into his throat, causing him to start coughing and panicking more because his eyesight wasn't accommodating to the lack of light around him. He grabbed on to the first solid thing he could find, his other hand shoved away the covers. 

“Hey, hey, Lance easy, you're okay.” Lance touched his throat and tried to speak, but he kept coughing. “Hold on let me bring you some water.” Lance let him go. The light was flipped on, and Lance took in the surrounding of his room. 

Keith came back with a bottle of water and sat back down on the bed. Lance took it from him and drank enough to soothe his throat. 

“Thank you,” he croaked.

He was glad Keith had taken to spending most of the nights out of the week with him. All of them, really, aside from one since their date. It was comforting to have him near. It didn't keep the occasional dream about Allura away, but it kept him from suffocating under them. 

When the guilt of having Keith sleeping beside him while his dreams were riddled with Allura’s laugh and smile and touch started to overwhelm him, he thought of Romelle. And Pidge and Hunk. How they said he had every right to move on. 

Hunk had mentioned how glad he was that Lance was happy with someone. “You're not exactly like you were before, but at the same time you are,” he'd said. “After Allura, it was like you lost some of your light. Keith brought it back, or gave you a new one, I don't know. But it's good for you. He's good for you.” 

A conversation had in the deep recesses of shirt racks in the mall while Pidge kept one of the dressing rooms on hold for him as he scavenged for an outfit for the cookout. 

Now it wasn't guilt. It wasn't relief. It was… exhaustion. That's all Lance had in his limbs. 

He felt a light hand finger comb through his hair. “What happened?” Keith's voice was soft. Hesitant. Lance wondered if he'd ever had to deal with someone else's nightmares. A real one like this, not like ones that only jolted you awake and could be shoved in the darkest corners of your mind. Had he dealt with someone else thrashing, having to be woken up, struggling to ground themselves? 

“I was drowning.” Lance let his head fall, bringing his hands to his ears, trying to pry away that voice, those words. Keith put his hands over Lance's. 

Once he pulled them away, he kept them in his hands. “You're shaking.” Lance stared at their hands, letting that anchor him. “What can I do?” Lance furrowed his eyebrows and finally looked up at Keith. “Tell me what to do to help you calm down.” He looked nervous. Maybe a little frustrated. 

He wanted to help and he didn't know how. 

Lance sighed and pulled his hands away so he could lean over and lay his head in his lap. “I'll be okay,” Lance said. 

Keith didn't answer, but he continued running his fingers through his hair with one hand and soothingly rubbing his arm with the other. “Do you want to talk about it?” Lance shook his head. There was a long stretch of silence before Keith asked, “Was it my fault?” 

Lance turned to look up at him, but Keith's gaze was set elsewhere. “How could it possibly be your fault?” 

Dark eyebrows furrowed together, giving Keith an angry expression. “I asked you to say a poem and you told me the one about the ocean. You think it's just coincidence that you have a nightmare about drowning?” 

Oh, Keith. He was so close, but so far from it.

Lance pulled himself up and sat between Keith's legs, facing him with his legs on either side of him. “I promise that's not the case.” 

Keith didn't look convinced, but he wrapped his arms around Lance and brought him closer. The warmth from his body felt comforting to Lance. He felt the way Keith gradually started rocking him side to side. 

He heard a soft melodic murmur- closer to speaking in a rhythm than actually singing- of a broken, off tempo, off pitch song. A familiar song. 

“Are you singing to me, principe?” 

The rocking and the song stopped. “Is that okay?” Lance smiled and pressed himself closer against Keith. He kissed his cheek and nodded. 

He resumed the side to side swaying. His voice began again, low, raspy, blurring the words together. The melody was soothing. It soaked into his bones and eased the tension in his muscles. 

Once he was calmer, he picked his head up and looked at Keith with a serene smile as he kept whispering the song. Lance waited until another verse began before he joined Keith, singing just as softly. 

“ Someday I wish upon a star, wake up where the clouds are far behind me.” Keith smiled as Lance sang with him. They finished the song together, their laughter at the end louder than their voices had been. 

Then Keith cupped his face and kissed him softly. “Do you need anything, pretty boy?” 

Lance sighed happily and leaned into the touch. “Mm. Nah. I've got it all here.” Keith's cheeks turned red and ducked his head, letting his hair fall in his face. “Sorry I woke you, by the way.” 

Keith peeked up at him from between raven hair, violet eyes bright. “Don't say that. I'm glad I was here.” He looked up and flipped the hair out of his face to stroke Lance's cheek. 

A glance over at his clock told him it was nearly four in the morning. Lance bit his lip, hoping he could sleep well the rest of the night. “Let me turn off the lights. You’ve got at least another hour of sleep before you have to get up.” Keith opened his mouth, but Lance didn’t let him protest. He got up and turned the light off before collapsing onto the bed again and yanking Keith into his arms. 

Keith laughed and let Lance move him around until he could comfortable hug him. Keith wrapped himself back around him, legs thrown over Lance’s, arms wrapped around his torso, tucked into Lance’s chest. Lance chuckled and tilted his head. “What?”

“You’re a koala,” he said with a hoarse, sleepy voice. Keith laughed, Lance could almost feel him rolling his eyes. He hugged Keith tighter for a moment. “My koala.” 

Keith hummed, a contented little musing. The statement wasn’t affirmed vocally, but Keith tangled their legs together further and his arms tightened around him. He kissed the tip of Lance’s nose softly, and that was all Lance needed. 

He listened to the sound of Keith’s breaths until they became slower, deeper, rhythmic. Even then, his hold didn’t loosen. His arms remained wrapped tightly around Lance, as though even subconsciously, Keith didn’t want him to go anywhere. Frankly, that was perfectly fine with Lance. There was nowhere else he wanted to be. 

A couple hours later, Lance felt Keith shaking him awake. He opened his eyes and grumbled at the soft morning light seeping through the curtain of his window. 

“I'm about to go,” Keith whispered. “I'll meet you at my place tonight okay?” Lance yawned and nodded, turning to lazily hug Keith around the waist. Keith laughed and knelt down to be face to face. “Did you sleep okay?” Lance nodded. He couldn't remember what he'd dreamt since he fell back asleep. “You know…. It was kind of weird not having you try to jump me in the shower.”

Lance opened one eye. “Try? Excuse me, I've succeeded each time.” Keith laughed harder and shrugged in response. “You gonna leave without giving me a kiss?” 

“Why do you think I woke you up, Sleeping Beauty?” 

Lance grumbled at the nickname. “Sleeping Beauty was woken up with a kiss, not for one.” 

“If I did that, you still wouldn't wake up. Now do you want a kiss or not?” Lance nodded enthusiastically, which made Keith laugh as he leaned down. He tasted like toothpaste. His lips were soft. His hair fell around him and tickled Lance's face. 

Lance smiled as Keith pulled away, pale fingers lightly pushing Lance's hair back. “ Mi príncipe azul.” 

Keith interlocked their hands so he could kiss the back of Lance's before getting up. “I'll text you when I'm home.” Lance nodded and watched him leave. 

He heard the front door shut and sighed into his pillow happily. He switched to lay on the pillow Keith had used. He loved that his bed smelled like him. Like that soft cologne he uses and the fruity gum he liked to chew. 

Surrounded by him, he fell asleep again until he had to get to class. 

The nightmare must have exhausted him more than he thought because he kept sleeping past his alarm. He barely made it to his first class that day. At least he'd woken up to a cute selfie of a very tired Keith after dance rehearsal. 

Lance felt like his head was everywhere. He was thinking about everything all at once and he was doing it to keep from thinking too hard about going to Keith's that night. He had no idea how to get Shiro to like him, and he was terrified of making a fool of himself. He didn't have much of a filter when he was nervous, so jokes and comments that would otherwise go to his mental recycling bin would end up spilling out and make him wish he could hide under a rock.

He was trying to ignore the anxiety between classes as he sat on a bench outside, enjoying the brisk weather and watching YouTube videos when someone sat next to him. The smell of a sharp, sugary perfume was familiar. He looked over from his phone and recognized the long blonde hair and grown out brown roots of a girl he'd become friends with that semester. 

“Hey, Nyma.” 

“Hey, Lancey. Where have you been, I've hardly seen you around campus.” 

That was true. Lance usually stowed away in the library to study by now because he knew he wouldn't get much done with Keith at home. By the time he was done with classes, he didn't hang around anymore, he went to get food and see Keith after his rehearsal. 

“Ah, sorry about that, Ny.” 

“You missed my birthday party Saturday. Pool party.” 

Lance frowned. “It's almost November.” 

“As if that makes a difference in Texas. I mean look at me.” She had a point. It was still pretty hot despite being in the last week of October and she had on a pair of shorts that looked like underwear made out of jeans with frayed ends and a thin tank top. She started pulling her hair up into a bun as she huffed. “Fall here means heat with a couple gusts of wind.” Lance chuckled. “So about my birthday?” 

“I'm sorry I missed it,” he said with a smile.

She smirked and Lance felt her sandaled foot sliding up his calf. “It's okay. You can come to my place and we'll have our own party. VIP.” 

Lance gulped and tried to move his legs away subtly. 

Nyma. Beautiful, confident, and a Lit major. But that was as far as Lance's attraction to her ever went. She was a very demanding person, and expected everyone to bend to her beck and call. Lance hadn't minded it when he was willing to bend because it meant getting laid, no strings attached when he was bored. And Nyma was cool about it, agreed that they could just have fun when one or the other needed it and they settled the agreement over pizza. 

“It's been a while, hasn't it?” she murmured. 

Lance tensed as her hand slid around the back of his neck. He suddenly understood why Keith said it felt controlling. But he had to be careful. The last thing he needed was an angry girl on his case.

“Actually, Ny, I think we should-” 

“Or we can play hookie and go now.” She laid her legs across his lap, and leaned in to kiss him, but Lance turned away, and she kissed his cheek leaving a smear of lipstick on his cheek. “Are you okay?” 

Shit. He could hear the ghost of aggression creeping into her voice. He'd been careful about girls. Made sure they all knew he wasn't looking for something serious, that they were in it for the fun just as much as he was, always made sure to leave them happy because a disdained girl could be dangerous. Dangerous in many ways. 

And frankly, Nyma was the kind of charismatic, pretty, influential girl that no one wanted to piss off. 

“Yeah, I'm fine,” he said. “I'm just… not really doing that anymore.” 

Lance nearly put his hands in his lap before he pulled them back and placed them awkwardly in his pockets. Nyma stared at him and then looked down at her legs, turning red and immediately pulling away. She tugged at the ends of her shorts as if she could pull them down. 

It was awkwardly quiet for a moment. “Like. In general or with me?” There was an edge to her voice that made Lance panic. 

“No, no, no, in general. It's just…. I mean, the thing is….” He sighed as she arched her eyebrow, and he could see the way embarrassment began to shift into anger in her eyes. “I met someone.” 

Shock. That gave him time. She blinked and scoffed. “What happened to ‘I don't want anything serious, I can't handle a relationship right now’?” 

“I mean we're not… really in a relationship… yet? Besides you said the same thing.”

Nyma rolled her eyes and moved her hair to fall over one shoulder. “Yeah, and I mean it, but… I don't know I guess I figured if we ever wanted a relationship it'd be… with each other.” Lance sighed. “Wait, not in a relationship? Then… then this is like what you always do. What, does this girl have some magic pussy-” 

“ Nyma!” Lance screwed his eyes shut and shook his head.

He knew Nyma didn't like him that way. The reason she was pissed was that her booty call was no longer available and that she'd lost him in the first place. Because for some reason the prettiest girls saw everything as a competition, and when they lost, it was an insult. 

He took a breath. “It’s not like that. Look, I’m not rejecting you or anything, okay? I wasn’t expecting anything between us, and let’s be real, neither were you.” Nyma rolled her eyes and crossed her legs. “And I wasn’t expecting… to meet this person. It just sort of… happened? And it clicked? We’re not dating, but….” 

Nyma looked over at him with an analytical gaze. She looked him up and down and squinted as she looked him in the eyes. “Not a relationship, but emotionally invested. And committed it seems.” Lance nodded. Nyma sighed and stared at the pavement beneath their feet. “Alright. So who is this girl? Where’d you meet her? She pretty?” Lance looked at Nyma and saw a smile on her face. The anger in her eyes was gone. She seemed genuinely curious. 

Lance gulped and let out a shaky breath. 

Coming out- if it could even be called that- to Hunk and Pidge had been easy. They were his best friends, they loved him, in a way that was different from his family, and somehow that made it more stable. He had to do the same with Veronica soon. Maybe telling Nyma could be a step towards that. A test run, in a way. 

“Uh. His name’s Keith. I met him at a party.” 

The long stretch of silence felt even longer with the way his heart was pounding so quickly in his chest. He felt frozen. He didn’t want to look at her, and she wasn’t moving either, had she even heard him, did she understand what he meant- of course she did she wasn’t stupid, but then why wasn’t she talking, was she going to slap him or tell every single one of her friends, which Lance had not realized was a possibility until that very moment, and-

“You’re gay?” she shouted, finally. Lance jumped and waved his hands around frantically, trying to get her to lower her voice. “Lance!” 

“No! No, I’m not gay. I haven’t really thought of a label for it, I just…. I just know I really like him.” He felt like running away with the wide eyed look of… he didn't know what on Nyma's face. “Please say something.” 

Nyma turned away and opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Then finally, “So, you still like girls.” Lance nodded. “But you like this guy.” Another nod. “And you're not dating but you're not messing around with anyone else either.” Again, a nod. She let out a huff and seemed to slouch as she did. “Alright. Jesus, Lance, take a breath! I'm not gonna burn you at the stake or anything, jeez.” 

He hadn't even realized he was holding his breath. His heartbeat thudded through his skull as he took in a deep gulp of breath. “Sorry, I just. I thought you'd be mad or I don't know.” 

Nyma grunted, increasing her legs just to cross them the other way. “I mean, I'm a little frustrated our deal is off now, but I don't care that you like guys. Just, when you first said it I thought it meant… I don't know, that you lied to me or used me as a cover up?” She shook her head. “But you still like girls, so, it's whatever.” 

“Oh. Well. Cool. So… we're cool?” 

Nyma smiled and nudged him with her shoulder. “Yeah we're good. But you still owe me for missing my birthday. I want a large pizza deluxe.” Lance laughed and nodded. “So what's this guy look like? Got any pictures?”

Lance smiled and took out his phone. “He's kind of picky about photos, but I've snuck some in.” He handed his phone over after opening the gallery. 

She took it and leaned over the screen. Then she gasped and hit Lance's arm. “Holy shit, he's hot!” She swiped through, skipping pictures of food or Hunk and Pidge, stopping anytime she caught one of Keith. “How long have you known him?” 

“Um, I think about a month. But we started going on dates two weeks ago.” 

Nyma smirked and tilted the phone towards him. It was a picture of Keith laying down in Lance's bed, scrolling through his phone, wearing one of Lance's sweaters. “And since when does he stay at your place?” 

“Um. This week. He stayed over most of it.” 

Nyma laughed and shook her head. “But still not ready for a relationship.” Lance rolled his eyes. “No but seriously, the amount of candids here is getting concerning, you're like borderline stalker-” 

“Oh shut up,” he said, snatching his phone back, and she laughed loudly at his expense.

Nyma leaned back on her hands against the concrete bench and smiled widely at him. She rubbed her thumb against his cheek, wiping away the lipstick mark. “Sorry about… you know being all over you before. You're a pretty great guy, Lancey.” 

“It’s okay. And thank you. Let's hope Keith's brother thinks so,” he mumbled. “I'm meeting him officially today and I've been trying not to panic about it.” 

Nyma winced. “Yikes. Meeting siblings is hard. I met one of my old boyfriends’ sister, and she hated my guts.” Lance paled and put his face in his hands. “No, hey, I'm sure you'll be fine! It's different with girls, Lancey, don't freak out.”

He just groaned into his hands and slumped. Then his phone went off with an alarm, making him jump slightly. “Shit. I gotta get to class. I'll see you around, okay, Ny?” 

“Yeah, okay,” she answered. “I wanna meet this guy in person. Good luck today!” She waved as Lance grabbed his things and started walking toward his next class. 

It was hard to concentrate the closer it got to having to go home. Keith texted him sporadically through the day, either with reassurances that Shiro wasn't scary, or by trying to distract him with funny things he found online. 

Finally he was done with his last class, and able to go home. Although he'd had to make a u turn because he took the wrong exit and turn, already used to going to Keith's campus after his rehearsal. 

Once he was home, he tried to keep his hands from shaking too much as he got ready. He'd taken Pidge up and down the mall looking for something to wear. Usually Pidge tapped out and ditched them for the bookstore after half an hour, but this time she'd stayed with them. All three hours. Hunk, ever loyal, always stayed with him, but he usually just gave a thumbs up for everything he tried on. This time, he seemed almost as picky about the clothes as Lance. 

They knew this was important. And he knew it meant something to them too for Lance to care about someone so much. 

He looked at himself in the mirror. A royal blue, long sleeved, button up shirt, slightly wrinkled, with the sleeves rolled up which was formal enough to say he took this thing seriously, but not so fancy that it would seem out of place for a Friday night cookout. Dark washed out jeans, but no rips or frays like most of his pants were. And all black converse, well kept but still with that slight dark green tinge along the cloth from being used. 

He stared at his reflection, his hair messy in that boyband member way Lance would never admit out loud he liked. His eyes bright and nervous. Allura always said darker colors brought out his eyes. 

He waited for that pang of guilt to sweep over him, but it didn't come. Instead, he could remember her smiling face telling him he looked handsome before they went out to dance. He could imagine her saying it to him now. 

Lance took out his phone and took a picture of his reflection, sending it to his group chat with Hunk and Pidge. 

SomethingPoetic: Too much, not enough? Should I do my hair? Shirt tucked in or left out or half and half??

The responses came back in a series of insistent pings and vibrations. 

Slytherclaw: LANCE YOU ARE THE THIRD BOWL OF PORRIDGEEEEE!!!!! 👀👀

HunkyMonkey: Slayyyyyy youre gonna have Keith all over you my man 😍

Slytherclaw: GET

YO 

MAN

GET 

LAIDDDD🍆🍆🍑🍑

Preferably not at the cookout but you know 

HunkyMonkey: I like the hair. Gives you a look that says you're chill, but it's well kept. Like one of those guy from one direction 👌🏽👌🏽

That's 👏🏽 my 👏🏽 fucking 👏🏽 best 👏🏽 friend👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Slytherclaw: shirt out. Tucked in is too Meet the Parents, half and half is too douchey.

Mine 👏🏻 too 👏🏻👏🏻

Lance laughed and felt his heart swell as he read the responses. 

SomethingPoetic: I love you guys 😭 wish me luck bc Shiro can probably kill me with one punch if he doesn't like me 🙄 

HunkyMonkey: he's gonna love you just like we do, buddy. Just breathe and be yourself

Slytherclaw: if he kills you I kill him. Hunk can help me hide the body. Or bust me outta jail.

HunkyMonkey: Fine, just bc it's lance

SomethingPoetic: I. LOVE. YOU. BOTH.

Okay I gotta get going 🤞🏼 I'll keep you guys posted.

He sent Keith a text telling him he was about to leave and grabbed a jacket and his keys. He sang along to the radio to calm himself as he drove over. When he got to the house, he took a deep breath and told himself he'd be fine.

When he got out of his car, he heard music coming from the backyard. Lance texted Keith that he was there, and a few moments later, the door to the fence beside the house opened. Keith was in a black shirt and dark jeans; it was unfair how effortless it was for Keith to look so good. 

A smile danced on his lips as his eyes trailed up and down Lance's body. Lance blushed and walked toward him. As soon as he was within reach, Keith hooked a finger into one of his belt loops and yanked him closer. “Damn, pretty boy.” The low near-purr of his voice sent shivers up Lance’s spine. Before he could think of something to say, Keith kissed him softly. 

He’d expected something more intense after the comment and the way he’d looked at him, and yet the soft kiss made his heart flutter and his nervousness settle. It was comforting. It was Keith telling he’d be okay. “

“Hey,” Keith said, looking into his eyes. “Don’t be nervous. This isn’t a big deal.”

“Yes it is. He’s your brother. And I know how much you care about him, I know what he thinks or doesn’t think is important to you.” 

Keith frowned and tilted Lance’s chin toward him. “Even if by some backwards miracle he doesn’t like you, I’m not going to stop seeing you. I’m an adult and Shiro knows that. This isn’t a formal meeting asking permission to be with me, it’s just a cookout for Shiro to know who I’m always with.” He kissed him again and gave him a gentle smile. “So please, relax, pretty boy.” 

Lance took a deep breath and nodded. Meanwhile, Keith slid his hand into Lance’s and led him to the backyard. It was strange seeing it in the daytime. There were no fold out tables covers in plastic cups and bottles of beer or liquor, there was no mess on the grass of dropped items or puke, no half-dressed bodies pressed up against each other, swaying to the music. 

It was just a clean backyard with grass that seemed a week past mowing day, and two trees on opposite sides, a small shed in the back corner, and a small concrete square near the sliding doors where Adam and Shiro were working on starting the grill. It felt like a bigger difference than it had with the front yard where they’d hosted the first party. 

Keith let out a whistle that made the other two turn around. Adam had a bright, friendly smile. Shiro smiled too, but Lance didn’t know him enough to know if it was sincere. Lance also noticed he was slightly overdressed. Shiro was in a t-shirt and black shorts that reached past his knee. Adam was in light blue jeans and a yellow flannel open over a white  undershirt. 

“Uh, hi,” Lance said, resorting to his instincts and holding out his hand to shake theirs. Adam repressed an amused smile when Lance shook his hand, and Shiro raised an eyebrow at him when he shook his. It was something drilled into his head since he was a kid. Siempre saluda cuanda llegas algun lado. He could hear his mom’s voice proudly praising him for doing so well. Stupid habits. 

“Keith, could you bring the meat patties out here?” Shiro asked. Keith nodded and went inside, which made Lance panic. Was this when Shiro interrogated him? Threatened him? Shiro looked at him, and Lance braced himself. “How was your day today?” 

What. “Um, pretty good. Hard to concentrate today, but it was alright.” Adam gave him a confused look, and Lance explained. “I was nervous about coming here, so I was losing focus the later it got.” 

“Don't be nervous about Shiro. When he met my mom, he-” 

“Adam, we said we'd never talk about that!” Shiro hurried to say. Lance smiled at that. He knew a thing or two about embarrassing yourself in important circumstances. “Anyway, Lance. How do you like your burgers?” 

“Um. I usually put everything on them.” Shit, he was saying “um” way too much. 

“I meant cooked. Medium, well-done?” 

“Oh! Medium.” 

Shiro nodded. Then Adam tilted a beer bottle toward him. “Want one?” 

Lance nearly took it, more out of wanting to accept whatever they gave him, before pulling his hand back. “Oh. Actually, no I'm okay. I gotta drive back later.” Adam smiled and took the beer for himself.

Keith came back with a tray of meat patties and arched an eyebrow at Lance. “Lance, you can sit down,” he said with an endearing smile dancing on his lips.

His limbs felt like they were coiled tight as he plopped down on a chair. The force of it made the chair tip slightly, but Lance managed his balance. Adam was nice enough to pretend not to notice, and Shiro was looking away. Keith only rolled his eyes and allowed his smile to spread on his face. The way his nose scrunched made the embarrassment worth it. 

“You’re a senior too?” Adam asked Lance. 

“Uh, classified as one. Technically a junior.”

“What’s your major?” 

“English rhetoric and I’m getting a minor in education.” 

Adam perked up. “Education, really? I majored in education. Where are you from?” 

Beside him, Keith made a small grunting noise. Lance felt like he was being interviewed. Which was when it clicked. Shiro wasn’t the one who would be feeling him out; Adam was. With Adam asking, Lance wasn’t as anxious, but Shiro still got his answers. This fucking couple. 

“I’m Cuban, but my family’s about an hour out from here. I’ve been raised here most of my life.” 

He felt a hand slide into his own and squeeze lightly. “Do you need his social security information and class schedule too?” Keith asked Adam. “You said no overbearing questions.” 

“How was that overbearing?” Adam protested. “Remember all the things you asked and said to me when you first met me? You’re lucky I’m not being a dick to him.” He turned back to Lance. “Keith was a dick to me. Embarrassing questions, veiled threats, sarcastic comments.”

Lance laughed at that. “Sounds like Keith.” 

He heard a huff and then the sound of meat sizzling on the grill. When Lance looked over at Shiro, he was frowning at the food, and Lance wondered if he’d said something wrong.  

Nervously, he turned his attention back to Adam and tried to stay calm. “So… how long have you two been together?” Lance asked. 

“About four years. We also started dating in our senior-ish year of college,” Adam said. 

From the grill, Shiro added, “Don't say ‘dating’ it freaks Keith out.” From the corner of his eye, Lance saw Keith glare at his brother for a moment. A tense kind of silence settled over them. 

They'd never talked about an official term for their… dynamic. It was just like Nyma said- emotional investment. There was too much happening in the background for them and a label took on a certain pressure. Lance knew they acted like a couple. The dates, the kisses, the handholding, meeting friends and family, the sex, the spending the night, Lance taking him food after rehearsals. It was all very couple-y, and even Hunk and Pidge had questioned it. 

It was just easier unspoken. Easier without a label. At least at the moment. He wondered if Kith’s hesitance was similar to his, or something entirely different.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to make it awkward,” Adam said with an apologetic wince. 

“You didn’t,” Keith answered sharply, casting an angry look at Shiro. Lance felt himself shrink. He didn’t want to cause arguments between the two. Had he even caused that? His brain wouldn’t stop reeling. “I’m gonna change the music.” Keith got up, and Lance tensed even further. Then he felt his hand touch his shoulder gently before going to the speaker and the attached phone. 

“Lance, do you mind helping me refill the cooler? There’s a couple more soda and beer cartons inside.” Adam’s tone was friendly, but Lance could see the discomfort in his eyes. He knew going with Adam meant more than just grabbing sodas. Still, he nodded and got up to go inside with him. They made it to the kitchen before Adam spoke again. “Shiro would never ask it because Keith would give him the cold shoulder for a month, but… what exactly are you trying to get out of this thing you’ve got going with Keith?” 

It should’ve sounded threatening. It should’ve sounded like Adam expected no bullshit. Instead, he sounded genuinely curious, maybe even confused.

“I’m… not sure what you mean by getting something out of it.” 

Adam set some soda cartons on the counter and looked at Lance steadily. “What I’ve heard about you is that you met Keith at a party. Fooled around. Then started taking him on dates. According to what Shiro’s relayed to me- part of his hesitance- is that Keith’s-”

“The first guy I’ve ever been with,” Lance finished. He was tired of that being his greatest defect. It wasn’t his fault he’d only discovered this attraction to guys recently. And it wasn’t his fault that Keith had been the first to make that attraction grow into something stronger. Even with girls, he’d only seriously dated Allura.

“I don’t think it’d be a big deal if you guys weren’t tiptoeing around just saying it’s a relationship.” 

“We haven’t talk about it.” It was quiet for a moment, and Lance wondered if he was losing Adam’s favor too. “I like Keith. I like him a lot. I know this whole thing is moving fast and slow at the same time, but right now that’s working. I don’t plan on going anywhere, if that’s what you’re asking. I don’t plan on being another Roland and denying ever liking him. But we’re still figuring each other out. I know Shiro doesn’t like me-”

Adam laughed and shook his head. “He doesn’t not like you, Lance. He wants to like you. He was a big factor in encouraging Keith to open up to you. But he’s Keith’s big brother.” Adam leaned back against the counter. “I know how much they both went through to create the bond they have now. And since you mentioned Roland, I assume you know all the things he put Keith through. It tore Shiro apart to see his brother so messed up over someone. If he’s hesitant, it’s just because he wants to be sure Keith is going to be okay.” 

It made sense. And Lance understood it. Veronica was older than him, but he had always been protective of her. The one time he let his guard down too quickly… well, it still made Lance’s stomach churn with an anger so intense it dizzied him just thinking about it. He knew Shiro had a right and a reason to be wary of him. 

“I just want to be able to prove I’m being serious about being with Keith. And I don’t want them getting into fights over all of this.” 

Adam laughed again and handed Lance a couple soda cartons to take outside. “Oh, don’t worry about that. They fought a lot when he introduced me to Keith too. It’s just because they’re so protective of the other when the other doesn’t want them to be.” 

Once Adam grabbed his own cartons, he gestured toward the door. As if just like that Lance would be able to take it easy and stay calm. Despite the reassurances from Adam, Lance was still unsure. He knew it wasn't easy to break through that protective instinct, especially when someone had been hurt before. 

When they got back outside, Keith seemed to have been in the middle of a tense conversation with Shiro by the grill anyway. His violet eyes flickered over and seemed to try and gauge whether Adam taking Lance for so long had been a good or bad thing. Lance wasn't sure what his verdict was, but Keith went back over to him as he dumped the sodas into the cooler. 

“You okay?” Keith asked. Lance nodded. Keith's eyes flirted to Adam and he lowered his voice. “I'm sorry about Shiro. I feel like we should talk now, but-” 

“About the dating thing?” Adam seemed to take that as his cue to walk back to his chair with a beer. 

Lance looked at Keith and the uneasy expression on his face. It was a look that could easily be mistaken as anger, but at some point, Lance had gotten to know him well enough to differentiate between his expressions. Despite typically crossing his arms and clenching his jaw, his anger was usually notable with a flare in his nose and a point of fixation for a cold glare. When he was anxious, his eyes jumped around and he kept chewing the inside of his cheek. 

“We can talk about it if you want to later,” Lance said gently, putting a hand on his arm. He lowered his voice, grateful that the music was loud enough for Shiro not to hear him despite being about five feet away. “Right now my panic is from getting Shiro to like me and having no clue how to do that.” 

“He's just giving you a hard time because I have Adam a hard time. I mean I was 17, come on. I just… I don't want his comment to have made you felt like… like I don't… want. This?” Lance could see the impatient frustration seeping into Keith's shoulders. 

It made Lance smile a bit to know how worried Keith was about him too. How stressed this also made him despite the calm demeanor earlier. He leaned forward and kissed him lightly, reassuringly. “I know, my moody little koala.”

Keith scrunched his nose. “Oh god. Tell me that nickname isn't sticking.” 

“It is now.” Keith groaned, and Lance laughed at him, relaxing with the way Keith leaned into him. “You and Shiro good?” 

“Yeah. He says he was joking, but I told him to play nice anyway.” Keith shrugged, finding Lance's hand with his own. “C'mon, let's sit back down.” 

He used the pressure and warmth of Keith’s hand in his own as an anchor. A few moments later of the only sound coming from the burgers cooking and the music beating through the speaker, Shiro held out two bags of chips. “Want some?” he asked Lance. It felt like a sort of peace offering. Lance smiled and took the Hot Cheetos. “So what made you want to minor in education?”

“A variety of things, actually. I had some good teachers that showed me what it meant to make a difference, but I also had some bad ones that made me wish there were more who actually liked what they did and cared about students. I was always a handful in school. I talked too much, I joked too much, I got distracted easily. I was smart, but I could really annoy the teachers, and because of that some of them just branded me as dumb. I don’t want other kids to go through that. Plus, since I’ve been there, I think I could do a better job at keeping their attention or understanding why they might act that way, you know?” 

Adam chuckled and nodded. “Troublesome in school. Sounds like someone else I know.” 

Lance looked over at Keith, but Keith scoffed. “Uh, I was quiet and got my work done. It wasn’t until high school that I skipped some class, but I fixed that. He’s not talking about me.” 

Confused, Lance looked at Adam who was smirking at Shiro. Shiro rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Yeah, I was a handful too. I liked joking and pranks. I liked making the teachers talk themselves in circles. I was always getting written up for it.” 

“No way,” Lance said in disbelief. He couldn’t see this man, tall, buff, serious, reserved… being a goofball in school. 

“Dude, Shiro got voted class clown in his high school yearbook,” Keith said, stuffing chips in his mouth. 

“Really? Me too!” Lance leaned forward, sitting on the edge of his seat. “But like, teachers have this weird assumption that like… because you can’t sit still or stay quiet or if you joke too much, then you’re automatically dumb, or at least dumber than everyone else in the class, even if your grades are good. You become the problem child.” 

Shiro nodded. “Yeah, I’ve had teachers that saw it that way. But I also had some who didn’t.” 

“Right! So, the ones who see it that way- at least for me- have really lasting, bad effects on a student’s self image, and honestly it can make the student feel like they are dumb. Then the ones who see past it are the ones that help break that mindset. It wasn’t until high school that I had a teacher like that. And that’s why I want to be one too.” He laughed a little at himself, at how excited he got and how much he’d rambled. But the three of them didn’t seem to mind. “Does that… make sense?” 

“You want to make a difference. You want to be a positive force in students’ lives,” Adam said. Lance nodded. “That’s one of, if not the best, reasons to become a teacher, Lance.” 

“Plus you can do something with it, unlike Keith’s philosophy minor,” Shiro said with a teasing smile directed at Keith. Keith responded by sticking his middle finger up. 

Lance had to admit, it was interesting seeing this side of Shiro. His relationship with Keith kind of reminded Lance of his own with Luis or even Pidge. The constant teasing and poking, the insults that hid affection, the way they both managed to say something to make the other feel awkward.

He could almost forget they were adults with the way they acted. Adam seemed unfazed, rolling his eyes and smiling in response to the comments they made. He gave Lance reassuring looks to let him know it was all perfectly normal. 

In fact, though it was strange seeing this new side to both of them, it was also a relief. Somehow, it humanized Shiro. Plus, Shiro was pretty funny, and Lance knew he was gaining a couple brownie points when he laughed at something he said, even if got him a nudge or a glare from Keith. 

By the time they were stuffing their faces with incredibly tasty burgers- Lance’s had everything on it, including the chips he was eating- he felt much more at ease around Shiro. Lance actually felt that if Shiro had been in school with him, they might have been good friends and wreaked havoc among all their classes until their teachers went insane. 

“Who the hell eats Honey Bunches of Oats when they’re five?” Shiro said with a mouthful of food. 

“Uh, me!” Lance responded indignantly. “Look, I spent a lot of time with my abuelita , and she raised me on those kind of cereals. Mini-Wheats, Whole Grain Cheerios. I actually really learned to like them. Then the sugary ones became like… special occasion cereals. I still love my honey bunches.” 

“The cereal, or is that a pet name for Keith?” Adam asked. 

Both Lance and Keith started coughing, choking on whatever they had in their mouth. Keith tried to calm down by drinking from his beer, but it only made it worse, and Lance was trying to stifle his coughs. Meanwhile Adam and Shiro were doubled over in laughter, Shiro giving his boyfriend a proud high-five. 

“Oh my God, I hate you both,” Keith finally said hoarsely, his head in his hands. 

“Had to get my payback somehow,” Adam said, smirking. “Not my fault Lance set it up so well.” 

“Need- soda,” Lance choked out. Shiro laughed more and handed one to him.

Thankfully, they didn’t seem to be expecting an actual answer. Love was a topic Lance wasn’t planning on touching on anytime soon, if he was honest. But while Shiro and Adam were able to brush it off and move on to something about a new song, Lance could feel the awkward tension between Keith and himself. 

He wasn’t sure if it was because Keith wanted an answer or if it was because he didn’t. They hadn’t even talked about dating, much less what… exactly they felt for each other. Lance had no problem telling Keith how much he liked him. And he knew Keith liked him back.

He knew it because of the way Keith had let him in. He knew it in the way Keith smiled at him and asked him questions and introduced him to Shiro and…. There was still so much that wasn’t certain. Surely if they hadn’t even talked about dating, they weren’t going to talk about… love. But would that be taken as an insult by Keith? Should Lance take it as an insult himself if Keith agreed? 

He knew Mama would say every relationship was meant to grow. If it wasn’t growing, it wasn’t benefitting anyone. To her, there was no point in being in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere.

When Lance and his siblings dated, his mother had made it very clear- never bring them home unless you truly saw the relationship growing into a marriage. They could meet her, they could come to a party in the front yard, but never come inside the house as “The Girlfriend” or “The Boyfriend” if they weren’t planning on becoming “Forever.” It was all very intense and extreme to Lance. 

At least until he started dating Allura. She’d known his family well before they started dating. And after a couple years, Lance was certain she was his Forever. She would be the one to come inside the house because she was the one Lance knew in his heart he would marry. She had come into the house as “The Girlfriend.” Not for a party, not meeting for a Starbucks coffee with his mom, not to use the bathroom. Allura had entered the house as Lance’s “Forever.” 

His Mama knew he meant it the second Lance asked if he could bring her. She had smiled and nodded and kissed his cheek.

How was Lance supposed to know forever would get cut short? 

It left Lance asking himself if he could see this growing. If he could see himself dating Keith one day. If he could see himself introducing him to his parents at a coffeeshop or a party one day. If he could possibly one day fall in love with Keith. 

If he was honest, he wasn’t entirely sure at that moment. But he knew he wanted to see that. What they had was still new, still different, and Lance wanted to take his time. Wanted to see where this went, wanted to see the day he would look at Keith and think, yeah, I can see my future with you. 

“Adam, can I speak with you?” Keith managed to spit through his teeth, bringing Lance back to reality. He didn’t wait for a response before he was hauling Adam away. 

The tension thickened exponentially. 

“You know, Keith never brought anyone else to meet us,” Shiro said, his eyes on what was left of his burger. “Not even Roland. So you must be special.” His eyes finally shifted to meet Lance’s. “In case that’s what made you panic just now.” 

“Oh. Uh. No, not… that. But thank you.” Shiro raised an eyebrow. “I know we’re in a weird spot right now. At least to other people. But that’s working right now, and… when Adam said… that, I mean I know he was kidding but-”

“You love Keith?” Shiro asked, suspicion dripping in every word. 

“N-no! No, I…. I don’t, but I don’t want that to seem like a bad thing either. And it’s just showing me how much we still have to talk about, but things have been good without talking about them, and I’m scared things will get ruined if we do.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked at Shiro, feeling panic seize his heart with the analytical gaze he was being given. “I like Keith. A lot. And I know he’s gone through shit, I know Roland was an asshole, I know he might still find it hard to believe I’m sticking around, I know it’s weird that he’s the first guy I’ve felt this much for, I know. But… I really do like him. I know what it’s like to be suspicious, Shiro, I know what it’s like to find out later you should’ve never let your guard down. I won’t blame you if you never really like me or if you never fully trust me. I don’t know how this is gonna turn out. I just know I want it to be a good thing. Right now though, I don’t have all the answers.” 

Shiro stayed quiet for a moment. A very long moment. Lance half expected Keith and Adam to get back, but Keith was still sniping at him near the gate, the bickering covered by the music. 

Then Shiro said, “Keith hates pictures.” Lance furrowed his eyebrows and looked at him. Shiro just nodded and shrugged. “Always has. He never let my parents take his picture. He barely allowed one the day he graduated high school. He only sometimes takes a selfie, and it’s usually if it’s been a really good day or if he’s drunk. I have a total of ten pictures with him over the years.” 

Lance didn’t know what to say. It was such a random fact. Lance had finally blurted out all of his thoughts to him, and Shiro was… responding by talking about pictures. 

“When you guys came back from the carnival and I heard him asking about some pictures…. I couldn’t really believe it. Then you guys left and… I looked in his room. And there they were. Pictures with you. And he was smiling and laughing and….” Shiro scoffed and smiled. “You make him happy, Lance. I’ve noticed that much since you guys became a thing, whatever you want to call it. Keith’s gotten swept up in his own emotions before, but he’s never gone to these lengths. I don’t know if his wariness helped him out this time around, or if you’re just that good at getting through to him, but I know that this is the happiest I’ve seen Keith with someone. Even if he’s still careful about it. I also think you’ll find you’re similar to him in how slow you want to take this whole thing.” Shiro glanced over where Keith and Adam were walking by, still mumbling to each other. His voice lowered. “If it’s any consolation, I do like you. But like you said, I might still be wary of you.” 

Lance scoffed and smiled nervously. It was… more than he had expected, really. Keith sat back down, still not looking at Lance. Adam continued eating his burger. Shiro seemed to be trying to gauge both of them. 

Lance had no idea what Keith was thinking at that moment. He didn’t know what he’d told Adam or if there was something he wanted to hear from Lance. He did know that Keith seemed anxious with the way his shoulders hunched up and his body seemed to be trying to shrink into itself. He had that brooding expression, but Lance could see the nervousness gnawing at him in the way his eyes refused to settle on one thing. 

While Shiro tried to steer the conversation back to something normal, Lance took Keith’s hand in his own and held it tightly. The touch startled Keith at first, but with the certainty of Lance’s grasp, Keith finally looked at him. Fear swam in his eyes, and Lance could see it dissipating as a smile slowly began to tug at his lips. Slowly, his body relaxed. 

The rest of the night felt much more comfortable, and Lance knew a lot of that was thanks to Shiro talking to him. Although it seemed Keith was still upset with Adam, talking to Shiro was easier. Lance wasn’t trying to pat himself on the back, but the conversation was very much driven by Shiro and himself, and he knew that made Keith a little happy if the way he kept smiling softly at him said anything. 

Once it got darker, they cleaned up and all moved inside to watch a movie. It was a relief for Lance because movie watching was a relaxing thing, and it also gave him an excuse to cuddle up beside Keith on the couch. Keith took to running a hand through his hair and it gave Lance a wonderful, peaceful feeling in his chest. 

Shiro was with Adam on the floor, his head in Adam’s lap. They were very different when it came to watching movies. Shiro kept making snide comments, making even serious moments funny, and Adam kept trying to guess what would happen next. Keith resorted to throwing popcorn at them to shut them up more than a few times, but the way he laughed at their jokes and comments encouraged them more than the popcorn deterred them. 

The good thing was, even when Keith went to the bathroom and left Lance alone with Shiro and Adam again, he hadn't felt the tension and awkwardness he had when he first arrived. 

Lance decided to go home once the movie ended, and after a much more comfortable goodbye to Shiro and Adam, Keith walked him out. 

They stalled by his car door, quiet, smiling, nervous. Keith slowly took his hand and raised it to his lips. “Thanks for coming tonight. I'm glad you and Shiro got along. And I'm sorry for all the horribly awkward moments.” 

“Ah, what's a proper meeting-the-family moment if there's no horrible awkwardness?” Keith chuckled. “Not coming home with me tonight?” Lance asked softly. 

Keith's eyes flickered back to him. He smiled and shook his head. “Not tonight, I want to see what Shiro says once you’re out of the room.” Lance gulped, making Keith laugh. “But I’ll be there tomorrow, yeah?” 

Lance pretended to pout, ducking his head and jutting out his lower lip. “Mm. Okay.” Keith laughed again and leaned in to kiss him. “I had fun, by the way. Even during the awkward moments.” The adorable smile on Keith’s face made Lance’s heart stutter. He surged forward and kissed him again, overwhelmed with a sudden flurry of affection for him and the scrunch of his nose and the crinkles at the side of his eyes and his soft lips and the soft little gasp of surprise. 

“What was that for?” Keith asked, looking dazed and flustered. 

Lance pressed his forehead against Keith’s. “I just really fucking like you.” 

“Oh,” he answered softly. 

Lance chuckled at the speechless response and hugged him, resting his chin on Keith’s shoulder. “You should get inside; it’s getting cold.” 

“I can’t feel it.” The response should not have reduced Lance to a blushing mess, but it did, and all he could do was hide his face in the crook of Keith’s neck as he tightened his hold on him. Keith let out a breathy chuckle, his hand running through Lance’s hair. “Let me know when you get home, okay?” Lance nodded. Keith pulled back and cupped his face gently to kiss him. “Go,” he said with a smirk. 

“You make it so damn hard.” Keith winked and stepped back, keeping his hand in Lance’s until they were too far apart and their hands dropped to their sides. “You’ll tell me if he says anything bad about me, right?” Lance called after him. Keith only laughed and waved teasingly as he opened the door and ducked inside again. 

With a happy sigh, Lance got into his car and started driving back. Almost as soon as he got home, he sent Hunk and Pidge a series of messages relaying the day’s events. Despite explaining the panic and awkwardness when dating and love was brought up, however much of a joke it was, Pidge and Hunk latched to it and began to plan his wedding. Pidge sent various parody vows and Hunk sent ridiculous wedding cakes. Somewhere around the debate of who got to be Lance’s best man, he fell asleep. 

Though he felt oddly cold.  

Chapter Text

There was absolutely no reason to feel guilty. There were no doubts, no unresolved emotions, no… no reason to feel guilty about helping someone. 

The calls had come during the movie, silenced the first two times. The third made something uncomfortable lurch in Keith’s stomach and he’d answered with an excuse of going to the bathroom. 

The voice on the other end…. It didn’t sound okay. Maybe it was all bullshit, and maybe it was some kind of ploy, but Keith could wager that after doing his part as a decent human being. 

A knock on his window made him jolt. He double checked that his door was locked, then went to the window to open it. He could see Roland’s silhouette, but he wasn’t stepping closer. “You gonna stay out there or let me look at you?” he asked, still wary, but very concerned. 

Keith wasn’t stupid. He knew it was suspicious that Roland suddenly wanted his help, wanted to talk after Lance came into the picture. But surely no one could fake such a broken voice like the one he’d heard on the phone. 

A moment later, Roland stepped toward the window. The sight made Keith’s stomach churn with a mix of disgust and horror. 

His left eye was a dark, near-black purple, swollen shut. The welt reached his cheek, making his entire face asymmetrical. He had a cut that went from the side of his nose down to where his upper lip met his lower, that whole part of his mouth crusted with blood. Bruises and scrapes littered the rest of his face. It took Keith a moment to realize his clothes were crumpled and torn. 

“What the hell happened to you?” Keith asked. 

“You said you wouldn’t ask questions.” 

Keith clenched his jaw and looked him up and down. “Considering you’re asking to stay the night here and you get here looking like you got mobbed by a fucking gang and I’m your dance captain, I think I reserve the right to ask.” 

Roland scoffed and paced back and forth, his eyes constantly flitting to the side. “Look, I just need to stay tonight. My paycheck will come through tomorrow, and I’ll get a hotel and stay out of your hair, okay? I don’t have anywhere else to go right now.” Keith stared him down and Roland got closer, his voice dropping. The one open eye full of fear. “You told me you don’t hate me, Keith. Please.” 

Keith let out an exhausted sigh. He knew Roland had plenty of friends. He had a girlfriend. Keith knew he had a strained relationship with his stepfather and mother, knew his dad was entirely out of the picture. Part of him connected the bruises to the faceless asshole Keith had only heard complaints about. But it left the question- why didn’t Roland go to literally anyone else?

“Fine. But be quiet. If Shiro hears you, I can’t promise he won’t make this worse. I might not hate you, but he sure fucking does.” Roland nodded, not even miffed by the comment. With Keith’s help, he slowly made his way in through the window. Keith noticed a few more bruises, but he kept his mouth shut. “Stay here. We’ve got a first aid kit in the bathroom. Don’t make any noise.” 

Roland nodded, and Keith left the room. He could hear Shiro and Adam in the living room, deciding on what to watch next. He went into the bathroom, keeping his steps normal. If he tried to stay quiet, Shiro would catch on. If he overdid the steps, Shiro would get suspicious. 

He grabbed the first-aid kit and stuffed everything he needed into his pocket, just in case one of them happened to be passing by when he walked back to his room. He flushed the toilet, and walked out, starting down the hall. 

“Did you wash your hands?” he heard Shiro shout from the living room. 

“Nope!” he called back. He didn’t hear the next response. He went back into his room, locking it again. When he turned around, he was surprised to see Roland sitting on the floor near the window. “Why did you sit on the bed?” 

Roland looked at him with his one disbelieving eye. “I was sitting outside your window for a while, I’ve got dirt and blood on me. Didn’t think you’d appreciate that on your sheets.” Keith hummed and knelt down next to him, pulling out everything from his pocket. 

Ointment, band-aids, disinfecting wipes, cotton pads. “I’ll lend you something to sleep in. You can take the bed.”

Roland looked like he was about to protest, but then he sighed and nodded. “Thank you.” Keith grabbed one of the disinfectant wipes and tore it open, setting to work. Roland winced, but otherwise didn’t fidget. His gaze moved about the room. “What’s with the giant Stitch doll?” he asked. 

“Lance won it for me at a carnival.” 

Roland hummed. Then after a while, he asked, “Is that where the pictures are from too?” Keith glanced over and saw the strip of photo booth pictures taped up to his wall. He smiled and nodded. “You said he was over today, right?” 

“Yep. He met Adam and Shiro formally.” Keith finished wiping the blood off and grabbed the ointment. 

“Wow. Big step.” Keith didn’t answer. “Can I ask how it went?” 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows. “It went well. Some awkward moments, but it was good. They like him.” 

Roland nodded, closing his eye as Keith gently smeared the ointment on his swollen one. It made Keith wince with how fragile and rubbery it felt. He was certain Roland was in pain, but he only clenched his jaw and breathed steadily as Keith finished up. The only band-aid he could put to use was a small one over the cut above his lip. Then he taped the cotton pad over his eye to keep it from getting irritated. 

“Thanks,” Roland said. “For… making me a pirate.” 

Keith had to laugh at that. Roland finally smiled and it soothed Keith’s anxiety about the whole thing. The injuries seemed so horrible, there was part of Keith that wasn’t sure he’d smile again for a while. But it was also weird because he hadn’t smiled at Roland much less laughed with him in a long time. 

“Um, let me get you something to change into. I can bring a soda and some chips if you’re hungry.” 

After a moment of hesitation, Roland nodded and stood up. Keith walked to his dresser and pulled out a shirt and a pair of shorts for him. Then he left the room again and went into the kitchen to grab what little food he could sneak into his room. 

As he grabbed stuff from the kitchen, his phone buzzed. 

Ya llegue and missing my koala ❤️ sleep tight

Keith smiled at his phone and responded a quick good night text. It was unfair how easily Lance made butterflies burst in his stomach. Like he was some fifteen year old with a crush. He couldn’t deny what a wonderful feeling it was though. 

At the sound of the chips and the fridge shutting, Keith heard Shiro call, “Are you eating again?” 

“I’m hungry,” he answered, stopping in front of the living room with a bag of chips, dip, and a soda in his hand. “What are you guys watching?” 

“Marvel movies, wanna join?” 

Keith hummed and shook his head. “I’m kind of tired. See you guys in the morning.” 

They both called a goodnight as he went to his room. He opened the door hesitantly, not wanting to walk in on a half naked Roland. But he’d given him enough time, and honestly, it was nothing Keith hadn’t seen before. If by chance he was still changing, Keith just wouldn’t look. Besides, Shiro would be wondering why he knocked on his own bedroom door. 

Thankfully, Roland was fully dressed, sitting on the bed, staring at the floor. His head snapped up when Keith came in. Keith tossed him the chips. “Don’t make a mess on my bed.” 

Roland opened his mouth before chuckling and shutting it. “Okay. Thanks.” Once he started eating, Keith pulled out some spare blankets to lay out on the floor. Then Roland asked, “Does your boyfriend know I’m here?” 

“He’s not-” Keith sighed, deciding that he didn’t want to deal with questions and have to explain himself to yet another person, much less Roland. “No. He’s asleep.” No reason to feel guilty. “So why didn’t you go to your girlfriend’s? Or one of your other friends’ places?” 

“I don’t…. They’d ask questions. I don’t want to answer them.” Keith huffed and grabbed one of his Stitch for a pillow. “Naturally, my only other option was the ex that hated me until recently.” 

Keith shot him a glare. You said we were never dating. “You’re treading on thin ice, Roland,” he muttered. 

He blushed and lowered his gaze. “Sorry.” 

Without answering, Keith laid down and stared at his ceiling. It felt weird having Roland in his room again. The only times that happened in the past were the times Roland was with him for a fuck, sneaking over in the dead of night. Now, everything was different. 

Now, Keith had Lance. And unlike a few months prior, seeing Roland, or being near him didn’t make him self-conscious and nervous. Now he had no idea what was going through Roland’s head. This time, Roland wasn’t there with the intent he had before. The memories made Keith’s skin crawl, and he fought the urge to scratch himself clean of them. 

His eyes unconsciously drifted to Roland, only to find Roland was already looking at him, chewing slowly. “What are you thinking?” he asked. “Your face looks all… pensive.” 

Keith rolled his eyes. “It’s called a resting bitch face. Hurry and finish so I can turn off the light and sleep.” 

It was silent, so Keith started scrolling through his phone to ignore the awkwardness of it. 

He didn't have to tell Lance. Nothing was happening, it was an emergency, and it wasn't important. Besides, as he'd had to explain several times already, they weren't even dating. Even if they were, wasn't Keith entitled to some level of privacy? 

Thinking through it just made Keith wonder why he didn't want to tell Lance. He knew he didn't like Roland anymore. And he knew that if Roland tried something in the middle of the night, Keith could easily fight him off, especially in the state he was in, or furthermore, if he for some reason couldn't, Shiro was a door away.  He wasn't in danger, and he wasn't doing anything bad. 

He just didn't want to tell Lance for some reason…. 

Okay, so maybe he did have reasons. Maybe he didn't want Lance thinking he still liked Roland. Maybe he didn't want Lance to get upset with him for helping. Maybe he didn't want to feel stupid and naive for being nice to someone who had hurt him. Maybe he didn't want to have a fight with Lance because it would be their first real fight and what if that jinxed everything and marked the start of a downhill slope?

So no, he didn't want to tell Lance. It was only one night anyway. They weren't even sharing the bed. If Shiro hadn't hated him so much, he'd have sent him to the couch even. It was fine. His brain had to stop over thinking. 

“Um. I'm done.” 

Keith looked over and nodded. “Leave the chips on the desk. If you finished the dip just throw it away.” 

Roland nodded and got up to do what Keith said. Then the lights turned off. Keith unconsciously tensed during that strange moment it took his eyes to get accustomed to the change in lighting. He relaxed when he heard the shuffle of bed sheets. 

“Keith?” It was a soft whisper, but it startled Keith all the same. “You know how… I didn't let you ask me questions after… everything?” 

It was a memory had shoved in the back of his mind. But of course he remembered. Remembered how pathetic he felt when he trailed after Roland, near tears and confused, mumbling half questions until Roland shoved him away and gave him the dirtiest look Keith had ever received from anyone. 

“You're making it really hard to be nice to you.” 

“I'm sorry, I just…. You didn't have to do this. And if you wanted answers…. I'll answer them. I owe you that much.” 

Answers. To things like why the sudden change? Why make Keith feel like he was playing with his mind when it had been Roland who initiated everything? Why deny everything they had been? Why leave, why lie? 

God, Keith wanted answers. At least he'd wanted them then. 

Now, the answers didn't seem to matter. So why ask for them? He shifted, turning his back to the bed and holding onto his Stitch tighter. 

“Don't worry about it. I'm over it. Goodnight.” 

There was no response to that. Neither of them moved. All Keith could hear were measured breaths and the faint hum of whatever movie Shiro and Adam were watching. After what felt like an eternity, Keith figured Roland fell asleep. 

But then he heard him again, his voice softer than a whisper, still shattering the silence. “Keith?” Keith sighed and hummed. “This might not mean anything from me, but I’m glad someone’s doing things right with you.” 

Keith stared at the faint shadows of his wall in the dark. That only brought on a whole slew of new questions. Instead of asking, Keith just answered, “Yeah. Me too.” 

He struggled to fall asleep for a while, a result of the tension he felt being near Roland and the nervousness of the slight possibility of Shiro wanting to come into his room, and the internal debate in his head about telling Lance. When he did manage to sleep, he kept waking up due to some part of his conscious seeping into his unconscious each time he felt he was finally getting some decent sleep. 

By the time the sun shone through his window, he felt like he hadn’t slept at all. It wasn’t long before Roland started groaning as he woke up. He woke up with the slightest amount of light, and had always hated the way the sun streamed into Keith’s room. At that moment Keith had no sympathy, though. Shiro would be up soon and if Keith wasn’t out there joining him for breakfast he’d come check on him because Keith was always up early. 

As Keith folded up his blankets, Roland slowly roused himself, wincing at the sunlight and then at the injuries on his face. 

“Still a fucking early riser,” he grumbled with a raspy voice, watching Keith move around the room. “It’s a Saturday.” 

Oh how Keith knew it. Weekends had started to become his favorite days because he got a chance to wake up way before Lance and watch him sleep. At that moment, Keith should have been waking up to Lance with his hair up in tufts, a line of drool down one cheek, smiling at the way he curled into Keith because he was always cold in the mornings. He should have been running a hand through ridiculously soft, brown hair, pressing soft kisses to warm brown skin- not enough to wake him, but just make him hum in his sleep. 

Instead, he was here, sleep-deprived and anxious. “Are you leaving now or later? I need to get breakfast, but I can’t bring you anything without Shiro or Adam probably seeing me. Where are you planning on going anyway? Did you park down the street or in my driveway because-”

“Dude!” Roland sat up, hands on his head. “I walked here. I couldn’t bring my car. I’ll just walk to the nearest hotel.” 

Walked. Keith knew Roland’s house was about a five minute drive from his own. Walking, that was anywhere between 20 to 40 minutes depending on how fast you walked. The nearest hotel was about 20 minutes out by car. There was no way Keith would have felt comfortable letting him walk that, especially in his current state. 

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Look, just stay in here. Go back to sleep if you want, but you’re not walking to a hotel.” Keith took a breath and nodded. “I’ll see if I can bring you something to eat. Just stay quiet. And don’t touch anything.” 

Roland nodded, sinking back into the sheets. Keith left the room, and tried to tell himself to act normal. He went to the kitchen and put some waffles in the toaster. Just as they popped out, he heard Shiro’s door open as he shuffled into the bathroom. Another set of steps came into the kitchen. 

“Morning, Keith.” Keith nodded at Adam. “You’re not still mad at me are you?” 

“Huh?” 

“About the honey bunches thing.” 

Keith scoffed and rolled his eyes. “It’s whatever. I just didn’t sleep much, so I feel slow.” 

Adam hummed as he grabbed some cereal. Shiro came in shortly after and microwaved one of those frozen breakfast sandwiches that Keith hated the smell of. Maybe it was his paranoia, but it seemed too quiet. Like they were watching him, waiting on him to slip. Part of him felt like he was going to burst and he considered just telling them that Roland was in his room. 

Oh, but that sounded so bad, and he knew Shiro would lose it faster than Keith could explain. 

“Okay, why aren’t you asking us anything?” Shiro asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“What?” 

Shiro pointed at his plate. Keith was surprised to see his waffles were now gone, and he hadn’t even realized he ate them. “You’ve finished eating and you haven’t asked us what we think of Lance at all. Aside from snap at us for a couple jokes during his visit, you haven’t… brought it up.” 

Keith bit his lip and shrugged. “I figured you guys liked him. You talked and laughed with him a bunch. Plus, even if you didn’t, I still do. So… I dunno.” But they had good points. Had it not been for Roland’s call during the movie and the fact that as soon as Lance left, Keith had been preoccupied with helping and hiding Roland, he hadn’t actually let himself wonder or react to the fact that Shiro now officially knew Lance. He looked at Shiro and arched an eyebrow. “But… what did you think of him?” 

Shiro smirked and shrugged. “I mean if you don’t care-”

“Shiro!” 

Adam and Shiro laughed at his expense. “He seemed pretty cool,” Shiro said. He looked at Keith and his expression softened. Keith could almost see the shift going from teasing, asshat brother to serious, protective older brother. “I think you’re both good for each other right now. He obviously really likes you, and… you’re happy with him. I can see why you always want to be with him.” 

“He’s also a nervous wreck and it’s adorable,” Adam said. “He seemed to really care about what Shiro thought of him. But not to the point of pretending to be something he’s not.” 

“However-” Keith groaned internally. It was too good to be true. He clenched his jaw as Shiro spoke. “I do think it was also obvious you both have a lot to talk about. It’s weird because you guys are somehow taking it slow but also really fast. I think it would help you both to clear up some things.”

“And we’re also sorry if we made jokes that made you both uncomfortable. We didn’t mean to, but like Shiro said, it showed you guys had some stuff to discuss,” Adam added. “I don’t know if my opinion matters much since I’m not Shiro, but I really liked Lance. I hope we get to hang out with him more often. He’s funny.” Keith chuckled and nodded. 

Shiro drummed his fingers on the table and seemed to consider his next words. When he spoke, he was hesitant. “Do you think you’d want Mom and Dad to meet him too? Or your mom?” 

The question made Keith freeze. Shiro was by far the person he was closest to in the family. But his parents were important too. His foster parents had put up with so much of his attitude when he first came to live with them, and he knew they loved him. Even without an official adoption, to them, Keith was their son. And his mom… she had worked so hard to be able to come back into his life. She knew he liked guys, but she never knew about the guys Keith got involved with. It was somehow more nerve wracking to introduce Lance to them than to Shiro because…. He wasn't sure why. 

“I dunno,” he finally said. “I feel like he'd have to actually be my boyfriend for that. Like… boyfriend for six months or more, because it's just- I dunno.” 

After a few moments of silence, he looked up and saw Adam and Shiro sharing one of annoying looks of silent conversation. But it was Shiro who spoke next. 

“Why does it sound like you don't think that'll happen? You really like him. And he really likes you.” 

Keith chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. But it hasn't been long so….” 

“So… you don't want your hopes up,” Adam finished for him. Keith shrugged and swirled the syrup around the plate with his fork. “How long were you and… Roland together?” 

“Little over a month. Technically. None of my relationships have really been more than a few months. I'm trying not to think about it.” 

The mention of Roland reminded him of the stow away in his room and how he needed to get him out soon. So instead of letting the conversation get to that serious point he knew Shiro was directing it towards, he got up to put his plate in the sink. 

He heard an exasperated sigh from where they sat. “Keith-”

“I'm okay,” he assured, stuffing a Pop Tart into his back pocket. “Doing my best to stay positive and stuff.” He stopped by the table again and smiled. “I really am okay. You don't have to worry so much. Both of you.” 

He hurried back to his room and locked the door. Roland was still asleep. Keith nudged his leg a few times before he woke up grumbling. 

He tossed the Pop Tart packet at him. “Breakfast.” Roland sat up and ate the pastry slowly, like he half expected to choke on it or realize it was poisoned. 

“Have you thought of how we’re gonna get out of here without your brother noticing me?” Roland whispered, tearing off another piece. 

Keith mulled it over. Whatever he was going to do, he had to do it soon because he didn’t like the anxiety of listening for Shiro or having to explain why his door was locked. Shiro was a good person, and Keith doubted he would actually do anything to Roland in the state he was in, especially with Adam here. But he’d already kept it a secret all night, and the last thing he needed was another voice- or two, knowing Adam- insisting that he had done something wrong or needed to tell Lance. 

If it had been anyone else, Keith would’ve helped. But if it had been anyone else, Keith wouldn’t have felt he needed to hide it to begin with.  

“Why are you scowling? What did I do?” 

Keith shut his eyes and tried to come back to reality. He shook his head. “Nothing. I’m thinking. I think we should just do what we did last night. Sneak out through the window. Except this time, meet me at the end of the block, and I can get my bike and meet you there. Then I’ll drop you off where you need to go.” Keith sighed and looked at his makeshift eyepatch. “You don’t want to go to a hospital?” 

He scoffed. “For a black eye and a few scrapes? Nah. Can’t afford that.” He crumpled the wrapper in his hand. “I gotta give you your clothes back.” 

“Keep it. If all you have is one other change of clothes, you’ll need it.” Again, worry spiked in him. He had other people to go to. Why wasn’t he asking for help? Why couldn’t he go home? “Start heading out. I’ll meet you in a bit.” 

Roland nodded and walked toward the window, shoving it up. He checked outside then slowly made his way out, not looking back as he started for the sidewalk. Keith shut the window and started changing. Before he left the room, he put the anti-inflammatory ointment in his pocket. 

Shiro and Adam were still at the table when Keith grabbed his keys. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Lance’s,” he answered. Shiro rolled his eyes and smirked. “I’ll see you guys later.” They both called out a goodbye and Keith couldn’t help but wince once the door shut behind him. He hated lying to Shiro, even for small things. 

He opened the garage and grabbed his motorcycle to start heading out. 

He reached the end of the street where Roland was sitting on the curb, letting his dirty-blond hair cover the patch over his eye. He looked up when he heard Keith’s engine. He stood up and stopped just beside the motorcycle. Keith took off his helmet and handed it to him. 

“You can wear it.” Roland nodded and put it on. He messed with the clip and strap until it fit properly. Then he stood there, staring. “Did you forget how to get on a motorcycle?” Keith asked. 

“No,” he snapped. “I just… I don’t know if you’re cool with… it.” 

Keith rolled his eyes. “I gotta get you to the hotel somehow. Just hold on and no snide comments.” Roland sighed and got onto the bike, hesitantly sliding his arms around Keith. Once Keith deemed his grip final, he took off. 

He could have believed he had a statue latched onto him. During the five minutes it took them to get to the hotel, Roland didn’t move once. And the second Keith stopped in front of the hotel, Roland let go and got off. Keith rolled his eyes and cut the engine as he got off. 

“You don’t have to come in with me.” 

“Do you have money? An ID?” Roland nodded and rummaged in the jeans he had the night before. He pulled out his wallet. “Okay. Well then… keep me updated. If you need to skip out on rehearsals, it’s cool. And here.” He pulled the ointment out of his pocket and handed it to him. “Try to stop getting beat up, okay?” 

Roland gave him a humorless smile. Then he nodded and rubbed his neck nervously. “Thanks for helping me out. I know I’m the last person who should be coming to you.” 

Keith wasn't sure what to say to that. His immediate reaction was to say it wasn't true, but… after everything? It was. A sudden change of a few weeks didn't erase everything Roland said and did. 

So he shrugged and said, “Hm. Second to last.” Roland scoffed and smiled. “I'll see you later.” 

“Okay, Keith.” He nodded once and then turned to go into the hotel. 

Keith sighed and got on his motorcycle again, ready to leave. He didn't think Lance was up yet, so he figured he could catch up on some readings he had for class at a coffee shop. 

Before he actually drove off, he sent Lance a good morning text, figuring he'd ask to go over whenever Lance woke up and texted him. It didn't take him long to get the nearest Starbucks, and he immediately took a table in the corner. He didn't particularly like reading on his phone, but he didn't want to go back home and have to explain why he left his things to begin with. 

When he turned his phone on he was surprised to see a response from Lance. 

Como amaneciste, koala? 

Keith grimaced at the term, but he had to admit it made his heart flutter to know how much Lance liked the way Keith draped himself around him. He liked the way Lance texted him with a few Spanish words. Even if Keith only had the basics, it seemed like it was an important part of him, and Keith liked that Lance shared it with him. 

Keith groaned into his hands, simultaneously annoyed and flustered at how one text from Lance made him melt into a puddle. 

Pretty okay wyd up so early? Want me to go over?

Lance responded when Keith was a paragraph in for one of his readings. 

I'm actually not home babe

Um my sister came to visit me. She's annoyed I haven't told her anything about my “gf” 🙃 

Through text, Keith couldn't really tell what Lance’s tone was coming off as. Was he joking? Nervous? Unhappy? Annoyed? He knew Lance loved his sister, but he knew Lance was also afraid of telling her about him. 

Try as he might, Lance never seemed to fully believe Keith when he said he didn't mind it. He knew coming out was scary for some people. And it wasn't like Lance was hiding him from everyone. 

Is that good or bad, pretty boy? 

Chapter Text

When Lance woke up to eight missed calls from Veronica, he immediately thought the worst. Someone had died. She was in trouble. She was hurt. His mom was hurt. He was frantic and clammy and his heart had pounded so hard he felt dizzy. 

But no. Apparently she just really wanted him to open the door at eight thirty in the morning. Because she’d decided to drive an hour- “It was thirty minutes, light traffic and I drive fast,” she insisted- to see him since he hadn’t visited yet. 

Lance loved his sister, he truly did. But it took him while to stop being upset with her for freaking him out. She’d taken to simply sitting outside his door and playing on her phone until he called her back and eventually let her in. She managed to ask about his classes and Hunk and Pidge before her eyes fell to the stuffed lion in the corner of the room and the inevitable came up. 

“What’s with the giant cat?” she asked. But the lilt of her voice told Lance she already had an idea. He hated when she played dumb. 

“From my carnival date. We’re sharing it.” Veronica smiled and raised an eyebrow. Before she could talk, Lance said, “And that’s the real reason you came to see me- you want me to tell you about them and yadda, yadda.” 

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Dude, you always tell me everything. Why are you keeping so quiet about this girl? You had no problem telling me and Marco and Luis about the many chicks you banged at this party or that-”

“Veronica.” 

She stopped and sighed. “I’m sorry.” She scooted closer on the couch and turned his face to her by grabbing his chin. She regarded him for a moment, and part of Lance wondered if she could see right through him. 

He began to think loudly, as loudly as he possibly could, in hopes that she would be able to know without his having to figure out how to say it. It’s a boy. I like a boy. I’m seeing a boy. Boy, boy, boy, he’s wonderful and beautiful and I want the world to know about him. I want you to know about him. 

“Why do you look so scared, flaco?” she asked gently, her hand moving from his chin to his cheek in that way she always did when she was worried about him. “Did you….” She took a deep breath and Lance furrowed his eyebrows. “You didn’t get her pregnant, did you?” 

“What?” he practically screeched. “No! No, Veronica!” 

“Okay!” She pulled away, holding her hands up. “I’m just making sure! Jeez, you look so freaked out, can you blame me?” She crossed her arms and leaned against her knees, staring at the coffee table. “And you’re sure this isn’t about Allura?” 

Lance sighed. “No, it’s not,” he said softly. “Vero, can you just… give me some time? I promise I’ll tell you. You’ll probably be the first I tell, but just… back off a little, please.” 

Veronica let out a long breath. Then she nodded. “Okay. I’m sorry.” They stayed quiet for a moment. Then she nudged Lance’s knee. “Want some pancakes from Denny’s? I wanna make up for waking you up so early.” 

Lance scoffed and looked at her, slowly starting to smile. “Yeah. That sounds good.” She smiled back and stood up, ruffling his hair harshly as she moved toward the door. “ Ay, Vero!” 

She laughed and twirled her keys around her index fingers. “ Oye pues, párate!” she said with a lingering shit-eating grin. Lance grumbled and stood up to yank his shoes on and follow her out the door. 

There were a lot of moments between the car ride and ordering food where Veronica began to say something only to stop and reword or say something completely different. He knew she wanted information, but he also knew she was trying to remember he’d told her to give him time. Still, each time the word “she” or “girlfriend” slipped out, Lance couldn’t help but feel a tightening in his stomach. 

“We’re not dating… that way,” he finally said after another slip that Veronica brushed off by rambling about a TV show. 

Then, because Lance brought it up, Veronica seemed to mull over her words. “That way? So like… you’re dating but not officially?” 

Lance felt his cheeks heat up. “I mean we go on dates but the titles aren’t… no labels.” 

“Millennials and their labels,” she muttered. 

Lance furrowed his eyebrows. “ Pendejita, you’re a millennial too.” 

Veronica laughed and shrugged. “Okay so…. No labels. But going on dates….” Lance huffed and ran his hand through his hair. “Alright, I get it,” she said. She perked up as their food came and Lance noticed his phone light up. 

Good morning sleeping beauty

Lance tightened his lips to keep from grinning at that. Before he started eating, he responded, hoping his face was passive enough.

Como amaneciste, koala?

“You texting her?” Veronica asked. Lance grit his teeth. So he wasn't passive enough. “Just a yes or no! I'm not prying!” she insisted. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Sure.” 

As Lance began to drench his pancakes in syrup, Veronica asked, “So you haven't shown me any poems lately. Are you still writing them?” 

Lance grimaced. “No. You know I haven't written anymore. Everything I tried just…. It was always the same thing and I got tired of having nothing else to write about.” 

There was a small pause before Veronica continued. “Have you tried since?” Lance looked at her sheepishly and shook his head. “Well. This smart ass kid once told me that writing was a way to vent when things couldn't get out of your head.” Lance snorted and filled his mouth with food to keep from answering. “You said writing it all out is what finally gets it out of you and into the world, Lance. That's what you loved about it!” 

He sighed and drummed his fingers on the table. “What if I'm never done writing about her?” 

“So what, you're just never gonna write again?” Lance shrugged. “You have a gift, Lance. Don't be afraid of it because you're still hurting. And… not to pry, but… I mean is it also because of the girl you're seeing now?” 

Lance took a deep breath and noticed the LED light alerting him of a message on his phone. “Vero, I really don't want to talk about writing or Allura. How's everyone back home? How's Mami? How's school going for you?” 

Veronica sighed, but allowed the conversation to derail. As she spoke about her classes, Lance checked the message. 

Pretty okay wyd up so early? Want me to go over?

Lance chewed his cheek and sent him a response as Veronica caught him up on the latest gossip at home.

I'm actually not home babe

Um my sister came to visit me. She's annoyed I haven't told her anything about my “gf” 🙃

The nosy neighbor from next door complaining about the noise on weekends, Tia Lupe on the verge of a divorce, Papá telling his boss off and miraculously not getting fired. 

An incoming text: Is that good or bad, pretty boy?

Lance wasn't sure what to reply. Hell, he didn't even know if he wanted to come out to her yet. Part of him thought, yes because it was best to get it over with, but the other part thought, no because the simple idea of it made him have to stop eating with how anxious he got. 

Dunno yet. I'll text you soon 😙

Lance stuffed his phone back in his pocket and focused on the conversation. Veronica only raised an eyebrow, but she didn't ask anything. If Lance pushed the thoughts of dating and sort of dating and boys and gender and secrets to the back of his head, he could relax a little. He could breathe. 

By the end of breakfast, it felt normal again. No, “normal” wasn't the right word…. Whatever it was, it was calmer. 

Once the check came, Veronica stopped and looked at Lance with a smile. “You know, I don't know anything about this girl-” 

“Veroni-” 

“ But you look really happy, manito.”

She looked at him, arching an eyebrow in question. Lance nodded. “I am.” 

Veronica smiled a little wider and nodded. “Then that's good enough for me.” She reached over and tousled his hair, making Lance protest and laugh. She laughed too, then busier herself with getting her card to pay. 

Meanwhile, that floaty feeling in Lance slowly dissipated. He didn't want to have to put Keith in the back of his mind to be able to breathe around his own sister. He didn't want to have to hide and avoid topics and watch his words around someone he trusted with his life. It wasn't right. He hated the idea of feeling like he was suffocating little by little whenever he talked to Veronica. It wasn't supposed to be that way, not for them.

He tried to keep his spirits up as they got up from the table and headed for the car. Veronica was rambling about a TV show on Netflix she discovered, so she hadn’t noticed Lance’s change in behavior. As she started driving away from the parking lot and said something about British TV being so bizarre when it portrays youth culture, Lance checked his phone. 

Okay, pretty boy. Remember to breathe and enjoy her visit. You’re not obligated to say anything if you’re not ready. Let me know when you’re free ❤️

Lance smiled at the text and put his phone back in his pocket. His heartbeat felt… emphasized. He could feel each beat in every limb, heavy like it was making his whole body pulse. His head got cloudy and he struggled to take a deep breath. His mouth was dry. The words bounced in his head, never quite in the right order or with the right tone. But they were almost to his place, and he knew he’d chicken out if he didn’t say something before-

“Veronica?” 

“What? I know, I know, girl characters that are like that are super annoying-”

“Veronica.” She huffed and glanced at him fleetingly before her eyes returned to the road for an intersection. Lance was going to puke. He was going to puke all over the dashboard. He made an effort to sound calmer than he felt. “The person I’m seeing… is, um….” She looked over, wondering if he was going to keep talking. “He’s a guy,” Lance managed to spit out, staring at his hands in his lap. 

He'd expected silence. Or stuttering. Or maybe a bunch of questions. What he hadn’t expected was half-hearted laughter. 

“Yeah, very funny, Lance. God, you and Marco I swear.” 

“I’m… what? I’m not kidding.” 

Veronica laughed a little more, this time more genuinely. “Yeah, after all the girls you told us about, I’m totally gonna believe you’re suddenly dating a guy. Look, I get if you don’t want to tell me about her for some reason, but I wasn’t-”

“I’m not lying!” he said, verging towards panic. “Veronica, please.” Veronica looked over at him, and something on his face must have made the weight of the confession get through her head because her smile dropped immediately. 

She didn’t say anything. Instead, she made a very illegal U-turn to park at a gas station. She turned down the radio stared out the windshield for a moment. Then she turned to face him. Lance was fighting the urge to run out of the car and just walk home. 

“Wait. So you’re serious? You’re not fucking with me?” 

“No! I…. His name is Keith.” 

Veronica slumped in her seat and furrowed her eyebrows. “So you’re… seeing a guy. And….” She closed her eyes and scoffed. “Oh my God. Oh my God, it makes so much sense. You never even used a pronoun, you’d just avoid the topic and- oh my God, that’s why you didn’t want to tell me anything!” She ran her hands through her hair, seemingly talking herself through the whole thing while Lance sat awkwardly in the passenger seat. “Oh. Oh, God. Lance, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to- I just- I wasn’t expecting….” 

The way she stammered made him more nervous. What was she trying to say? Was she angry? Was she grossed out? Would she say it was just a phase like Lance had heard so many people say to anyone who wasn’t straight? Would she cry? Oh God, Lance wouldn’t be able to handle it if she cried. 

Then she got out of the car. Lance felt his stomach drop. But then she came around to his side and opened the door, crouching in to look at him. “Come here,” she said, unbuckling the seat belt. Lance got out of the car despite how unstable his legs felt. Veronica looked frantic. “Okay. Okay. Are you okay? God, of course you’re okay!” She wrapped him in a hug so tight Lance physically couldn’t breathe. “You’re more than okay; you’re perfect, manito.” 

Lance chuckled, sniffing as her curls tickled his nose. “You’re not mad? You’re not gonna see me different?” 

Veronica pulled away, holding his shoulders. “What? No! No, of course not! I’m angry at myself for… for pushing you, for not catching on, for making you so nervous- are you shaking or is that me? Oh, Lance, I just….” She put a hand on his cheek and smiled. “If you’re happy, that’s more than enough for me.” Lance laughed and felt the very tears he’d been afraid of sliding down his cheeks. “ Carajo, I’m trying not to cry, but if you’re gonna do it.” 

She hugged him again, her hand smoothing his hair down like she used to do to help him sleep when he was little, or just idly when they watched TV. Now, it was comforting. Even though Veronica was just a tiny bit shorter, Lance felt like a little kid, a blubbering mess in his older sister’s arms. “I hated keeping it from you, prieta, but I was so scared you’d be upset or hate me that you’d see me differently, and I wouldn’t have been able to handle that from you.” 

Veronica held him tighter and hushed him. “No, no, no, oye, calmate,” she murmured. “Lance, you’re my little brother. I love you so much, I love you more than anything in the world. Why would you think you liking a boy would change that at all? Why would I be angry? It’s okay. You’re okay.” 

Once his adrenaline subsided and he was able to calm down, Lance kissed his sister's cheek and thanked her again. “I'm sorry I dumped this on you and… made you almost kill us with the illegal U-turn.” 

Veronica laughed and wiped her eyes. “I didn't almost kill us, asshole. Oh gosh, okay. Do you wanna head home? Stop for coffee? Do you wanna talk more or just kind of leave it at this for now?” 

Lance smiled and felt his heart swell. “I'm good with going home. We can talk more. I've been wanting to catch you up.” 

Veronica nodded and ruffled his hair playfully before going back around to the driver's side. Once they were buckled in and driving again, she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. “So Keith. Tell me everything.” 

It took getting to Lance's, making coffee, and eating all of the Chips Ahoy cookies he had left in the pantry before Lance was able to give her the full story- excluding bedroom details because he was not doing that. He showed her their photo booth pictures, a recording he managed to get of a snippet of their dance rehearsal the week before, and a few of the photos he had with him. 

After everything, he felt a little weird. Like it was somehow more official now, his liking boys. It just felt different for someone in his family to know, not just his friends. 

“I'll admit something,” Veronica said, looking at the strip of carnival photos on the coffee table. “It's gonna take me a little getting used to hearing you say ‘he' and ‘him.’ I'm so used to associating you with girls. I mean you were never really flirty with guys- except for Hunk but was that ever-” 

“Oh, no, no, no. Hunk’s just my best buddy. Yeah, he's all Pidge's, though… neither of them know it but…. Yeah, it's okay. I get it. This is new. And I keep getting asked if I'm gay or bisexual or what and honestly, I have no idea. I mean I was never scared to say a guy was attractive, but like… who can look at Leo in Titanic and not acknowledge that?” Veronica laughed. “But… yeah. This thing with Keith feels… nice.” 

Veronica crossed her arms. “Speaking of the thing. Why are you just calling it a thing? Why haven't you guys talked about that?” 

“Um. I dunno. It's like. The b-word just sort of stays out of our vocabulary. And we both sort of tense at the word dating. And it's…. I mean with him, I get it, he had a bad past with guys, but… I don't know.” 

Veronica crossed her arms and hummed. “Does he know about Allura?” Lance's eyes widened and shook his head quickly. “Okay, so maybe the reason you don't wanna be the b-word is because you haven't been the b-word since you were the b-word for Allura and so now you're panicking about having a and being the b-word for someone else?” 

Lance stared at her, burrowing his eyebrows. “What?” 

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Lance. Do you want to be Keith's boyfriend? Or do you still feel hung up on… Allura?” 

Oh, no, no, no. Lance did not want to get into the more serious psychological workings of his unconscious. But the psych major was obviously going to go down that route. 

“No. I mean, I think I'll always love Allura. What I had with her got cut short, it's not like….” He sighed and shook his head. “But I don't feel bad for liking Keith now. I feel… scared, because I don't know where it's gonna go yet and because it's the first time since Allura that I've felt like this about anyone. Pidge and Hunk have already told me I don't need to feel guilty. You've told me.” 

There was a brief silence. For a second Lance felt like she was going to go Therapist Mode. Instead she just said, “Fear has never stopped you from anything before, Lance. You love taking chances. So what's the real thing keeping you from asking him out officially?” 

Lance huffed and rubbed his neck nervously. “I don’t want to ask him out without telling him about Allura. But I don’t want to tell him about her yet. I don’t want to scare him off or… I don’t know.”

She nodded and put her hand over his, squeezing reassuringly. “Okay. That’s reasonable. But you’ll have to tell him eventually.” 

“I know. I will. But we’ve only been… whatever we are for a couple weeks.” She nodded again, comforting him with a smile. “Do you think… Ma y Pa will be okay with this? If I told them whenever I do start dating Keith?” 

The smile faltered a bit. She leaned against the couch and let out a soft huff. “Honestly, huesos I don't know. I don't think they'll hate you or that they would kick you out of the house or something like that. But I don't know if they'll be angry or if they'll be okay with it.” Lance felt his heart sink, and she shook his arm. “Hey. That's why you have me, okay?” He smiled and nodded, leaning into her as she hugged him. “So when will I get to meet the wonderful Keith?” she asked. 

“Oh. Uh. I dunno. I mean… he knows you're here now, I could see if he wants to come over. I could invite Hunk and Pidge too, that way it's not too much pressure.” 

“Pressure? I'm a nice person!” Veronica protested. 

“Yeah, but I talk about you and Marco and Luis a lot. He knows how important you guys are to me.” 

She cooed and pinched his cheek, much to Lance's annoyance. “Okay, well see if they're up for it and we can order takeout or wings or something. I gotta use the bathroom.” 

Lance nodded and watched her go into the hallway as he made a groupchat with his best friends and Keith. 

Veronica is visiting me. You guys down to hang out? 

Hunk and Pidge immediately responded, excited to see Veronica again. Keith read the message but didn’t respond. A few moments later, Lance got a personal message from Keith. 

Are you sure you want me to meet your sister now?

Lance bit his lip and answered, She wants to meet you but if you want to do it another day that’s ok

There was no response for a while. Then, as Veronica came back, his phone lit up with an incoming call. He answered, but before he could get a hello out, he heard, “You told her?” 

“Um. Yes. Is that… okay?” 

“Wh-what did you… tell her?” 

Veronica gestured to the kitchen and mouthed, chips? Lance nodded and returned his focus to the call. “Well. I told her I was seeing a guy. And then I told her about meeting you and asking you on a date and…. You know, just sort of caught her up.” It was quiet for a while, and it made Lance nervous. “Keith?” 

“Oh! Uh, sorry. Just… processing. Um… okay, I’ll… be there soon then.” 

Lance smiled as a wave of relief overcame him. “Okay. See you soon.” He hung up and turned to where Veronica was shoving chips in her mouth as she stared expectantly over the counter. “They’re all coming! So wings or takeout?” 

Veronica smiled widely and held up her phone. “I got it.” 

Within the next half hour, Hunk and Pidge had shown up and greeted Veronica with hugs and loud laughter as they talked over each other. A movie played in the background on the TV as they mostly caught up and talked about their classes while waiting on their food. 

When Keith arrived, he didn’t knock on the door. Instead, Lance got a text, asking him to come out to the hallway. Confused, Lance excused himself, and left his apartment, only to find Keith pacing at the intersection of hallways. He had a small bouquet of flowers in one hand and a look of absolute terror on his face. 

“Keith? What’s wrong?” Lance asked, eyeing the bouquet and the incessant back and forth pacing. 

Keith turned to him and took a very exaggerated, deep breath. “I’ve never done this before, Lance. I’ve never been with someone who willingly had me meet someone in their family, and I’m freaking out!” Lance moved to grab him by the shoulders and keep him still. “What if she hates me? What if she thinks you could do better or that I’m the worst choice you could’ve made or maybe she secretly hates me for spiking your interest in guys-”

“Keith!” Lance cupped his face and forced Keith to look at him. “Babe, relax. Veronica likes you just from what I’ve told her about you. She wasn’t freaked out or anything when I told her. Surprised, but that’s all. She wants to meet you. She asked if she could.” He kissed Keith lightly, trying to calm him down. “And like I said, if it’s too quick for you, you don’t have to do this now. But Hunk and Pidge are in there too, so it’s not going to be a lot of pressure. Veronica’s really cool, if anything I should be worried because she loves embarrassing me.” 

Keith let out a nervous laugh. He leaned into Lance and huffed slightly. “I still can’t believe you told her. Were you okay?” 

“I was terrified. But I hate keeping things from her, and I didn’t want to hide you. But I did it for me, not to prove myself or anything, I swear.” Keith laughed, muffling the sound as he hid his face in Lance’s neck. “Hey. I know I dropped this on you really suddenly. So it’s okay if you want to back out. I’ll tell her she can meet you some other time over coffee or something.” 

Keith pulled away and looked at Lance with a soft look in his eyes, fear and adoration warring against each other. “I want to meet her too. You talk about her a lot; I know she’s important to you.” He slipped his hand into Lance’s and gave him a small smile and a nervous nod. 

Lance smiled back and led him back to his apartment. His grip on Lance’s hand tightened when he opened the door and the sound of laughter increased. Lance rubbed his thumb in circles along the back of his palm, trying to ignore the fact that his heart was beating faster too. 

“Vero?” She looked back, the remnants of a laugh still in her eyes. Then her eyebrows went up and she hurried to stand. “This is Keith. Keith, this is my older sister Veronica.” 

“H-hi,” Keith said. He held out the small bouquet and Lance watched as his cheeks turned bright red. “Lance talks about you a lot. I didn’t want to come empty-handed.” 

Veronica chuckled and took the bouquet. “Aw, thank you!” She looked at Lance and winked. “I like him already, flaco.” Keith smiled, but his grip was becoming deadly around Lance’s hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you too,” she said. “I hope you’re hungry; we ordered wings. They should be here soon.” 

Keith nodded. When Veronica turned to get a cup of water to put her flowers in, Keith let out a breath. “You never get me flowers,” Lance mumbled. Keith pinched him, making him yelp. “I’m kidding!” 

“Keith! What are we? Chopped liver?” Pidge called out from the floor. 

Lance pressed a kiss to his cheek and managed to slip his hand free. “I’ll be right back.” Keith nodded and went to sit by Hunk to say hi. Lance went to the kitchen where Veronica was cutting the stem tips. “He’s super nervous.” 

“So are you,” Veronica noted with a smile. “He’s sweet. And even more attractive in person.” She nudged him playfully and he blushed. 

There was a knock on the door, and Lance opened it to the delivery guy for wings. Almost on cue, Veronica, Hunk, and Pidge yelled, “ Wiiings!” which caused the guy to laugh awkwardly as he handed the food over. After an awkward smile exchange, Lance brought the food to the coffee table and they spread the food out as a free-for-all grabs. 

“So Keith,” Veronica started. “How’d my dorky brother rope you into being interested in him?” Keith’s face turned bright red, and he busied himself with biting a chicken wing as Lance kicked at Veronica under the table. 

“Why are you mean?” he whined pitifully. “I’m not dorky. I’m smooth and very charming, and that’s why Keith likes me. Right, babe?” 

Keith smiled, but then Pidge snorted and said, “Yeah, okay.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You forget we were at both parties when you saw Keith,” Hunk said, suppressing a smile. 

The realization as to what they were alluding to hit him fast, making him turn red and panic because he didn’t need his sister knowing any of that. Apparently Keith caught on too, because he started coughing as he choked on hot sauce while Pidge laughed beside him and pat his back. 

“Do I… do I wanna know?” Veronica asked, looking at them all suspiciously. Lance noticed Keith duck his head, but Pidge and Hunk both seemed to be relishing in the moment of terrifying discomfort they’d caused. The damn traitors. 

“No, they’re just jealous because they’re too lame to make any moves,” he answered, looking between them both. Two could totally play at this game. Sure enough, they both blushed, but Pidge was the one to flip him off.

Keith chuckled, but remained quiet, out of the line of fire for the time being as he chewed on fries. “Well, yeah. Lance is pretty charming. He told you about the carnival date, right?” 

“Oh that’s right!” Veronica said. “That was with you! Sorry, it’s all still sort of clicking in my head.” She smiled sheepishly. “He said you won the lion.” Keith nodded.

“This part is boring, when do we get to the part where you embarrass Lance with embarrassing photos and stories?” Pidge asked. 

“Oh, I have plenty of those,” Hunk said.

“You guys really wanna play that game? You had your chances when you met Keith the first time!” Lance protested. He looked at Veronica helplessly, but she was just smiling that annoyingly smug smile she always got when she had something planned. “Veroni- ca!” 

“Relax,” she said, giving him a sideways look. “Anyway, Keith, have you read any of Lance’s poetry?” 

Lance kicked at her again, frantic at this point. She shot him a warning glare and returned her attention towards Keith. 

“Uh. No, actually. But he recited one of his favorites once. A Pablo Neruda one about the sea.” He looked over at Lance for confirmation, and Lance nodded. Veronica glanced over at her brother as Hunk and Pidge kept their eyes on their food. “Have you written a lot of poetry?” 

Before Lance could muster up an answer, Veronica snorted. “Oh man, since he was a kid. I remember this one about our aunt’s big frizzy hair. He was like… six, I think, when he wrote it. But it was so funny because he didn’t even realize he was being insulting.” 

Lance blushed. “That’s not funny, tia Martha got really mad at me when she found that.” 

“You were six! All six year olds are brutally honest.” 

“I remember when you wrote one about Hunk’s sister when we were in middle school,” Pidge said with a smirk. She looked over at Keith and grimaced. “He was so infatuated with her in that like… hot babysitter kind of way. He paid me twenty bucks to never show it to Hunk.” 

“And I never wanted to know what it said,” Hunk added. Keith chuckled and continued eating, listening raptly. 

“I remember this one day after school, we were all sitting to eat dinner, and Lance just announced that he was gonna be a writer.” Veronica chuckled and threw some wing bones aside to grab more. “Our dad was ready to lose it.” 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows. “He didn't want Lance to be a writer?” 

“Still doesn't. Lance is the only one of all four of us that's making it all the way through college. I got a late start, so I'm actually following after him.” Lance blushed and ducked his head, focusing on his food. “So our dad thinks Lance wasted his time. He doesn't complain anymore though. Mami is more supportive. We've always loved Lance's writing. Plus, he's gotten farther than any of us, so that counts for something.” 

Lance looked at the TV, feeling oddly embarrassed. “My friend Nyma once wrote this script that was inspired by this show,” he said carelessly. “We had a playwriting workshop class together.” 

“Nyma's your friend now?” Hunk asked.

Taking a deep breath, Lance shot him a glare. Granted, he walked right into that one, but he needed to change the subject. “Yes, she is my friend,” he answered, aware of Keith awkwardly shifting his gaze from Hunk to Lance. 

“So aside from insulting his aunt’s hair, what else did Lance do as a kid?” Keith asked, catching on to the discomfort that was threatening the conversation. “He says he was well-behaved, but somehow I don’t believe that.” 

“You shouldn’t!” Veronica said with a snort. “God, Lance was always getting into trouble.” 

“I was not,” he protested. 

“Yes you were!” Pidge butt in. “Remember the day you convinced us to sneak into the community pool on the first day of summer even though it wasn’t open?” She turned to Hunk and gestured with a ketchup-smeared fry. “How old were we?” 

“It was summer after eighth grade,” Hunk said. “Lance took it as a personal offense that the pool was still closed and insisted we go in anyway since we had our bags of food and clothes. And so he hops the fence and starts fiddling the lock to open it for us, but I’m refusing to go in and Pidge is saying something about chlorine and infections-”

“Then we hear a siren whoop, and the cops are pulling up and telling us we’re trespassing and to go home.” Pidge rolled her eyes, but laughed at the memory. 

“They weren’t assholes about it were they?” 

Pidge and Hunk laughed and looked at Lance who rolled his eyes. “Not… at first. I’d seen this movie…. And so because it was summer and I was thirteen and felt invincible, I said ‘Fuck the police’ and cannonballed into the pool.” 

Keith burst into disbelieving laughter and covered his mouth as he looked at the others for confirmation. “Next thing we know,” Veronica finishes, “the cops have Lance, soaking wet by the arm at our door and he’s banned from the pool for the first month of opening. Then this other time-”

Lance groaned as Veronica went on a long rant between mouthfuls of wings about the many misadventures Lance had in his youth, as young as a four year old who threw a fit for candy and flopped into a mud puddle to his days in high school when he talked one of their younger cousins up a tree, but their cousin was too scared to come back down. Pidge and Hunk added their own anecdotes especially when they were involved in Lance’s mishaps. 

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter because I am Abuelita’s favorite and she would never hold it against me,” Lance said, after Veronica had jumped back to the day he’d accidentally shoved her so hard during a game of tag that she had to wear a sling. 

Keith looked amused, which made sense seeing as each time he asked a question it led to another more embarrassing story about Lance. Veronica splayed herself out on the floor where she had a decent view of everyone. 

“Keith, has Lance really not embarrassed himself in front of you? Never told you any of these stories?” 

“I mean he’s told me some funny ones from when he was in school with Hunk and Pidge, but no. He’s never done anything embarrassing with me except panic in front of my brother.” Keith wiped his hands clean and shifted to sit closer to Lance. 

Veronica scoffed. “That's actually impressive. I can't even remember how many embarrassing things he did when he wa-” She stopped herself, covering it up with a fake coughing fit that could fool anyone but Lance. 

He looked at Pidge and Hunk who seemed to catch on to what Veronica nearly said. 

“Ha, yeah, Lance is a pro at embarrassing himself,” Hunk said. Veronica nodded through her coughs and reached for a water bottle she'd been drinking. 

“Right well, right now you guys are doing it for me,” he muttered. Keith pressed his hand to Lance's, a silent offer of comfort, a small sign of affection that always managed to make Lance's heart skip a beat.  He immediately turned his hand to intertwine their fingers and took a breath. 

“You okay?” Keith asked Veronica. 

She nodded and shook her water bottle slightly. “Took a breath too quick. But anyway! Lance told me you dance.” 

“Yeah, we're actually rehearsing for a performance right before winter break.” Keith turned to Lance. “You're going, right?” 

“Of course,” Lance promised. “I'll drag all three of them to come with me too.” 

Keith smiled at him and squeezed his hand slightly. Veronica nodded enthusiastically. “I love performances of all kinds. They're fascinating to me.” 

Hunk asked something, but at that point, Lance had caught Veronica’s gaze resting on the sight of Keith's hand interlocked with his own. The teasing gleam in her eyes was gone and replaced with some kind of relief and… maybe fascination. It almost made Lance self conscious, but then her gaze lifted to meet his, and she gave him a fond smile. It was reassuring. Accepting. And Lance realized that there was truly no difference in the way his sister saw him. 

He couldn't help but smile back at that, and he leaned in closer to Keith, resting his head on his shoulder. The level of comfort and peace he felt at that moment was something he hadn't realized he was waiting for. 

Thankfully, his sister and his friends took some pity on him and ended the horrible stories of all of Lance’s screw-ups. The conversation shifted to various topics, from opinions on recent movies and netflix series to the occasional question Veronica had for Keith about his hobbies and even some stories Hunk and Pidge had about their times hanging out with Keith to tell Veronica. 

Lance noticed that Keith would try suppressing a smile when he was part of a memory or inside joke, and it made Lance happy to know he felt just as included considering the amount of stories he was new to from them. Lance was almost certain Keith was still nervous, but he didn’t show it as much as he had in the hallway. 

His hand was a little sweaty, but when Lance’s hand loosened for him to let go, Keith only held on firmer. Lance also noticed he had a habit of fiddling with his free hand subtly enough that it didn’t seem like he was anxious. Most of the night, Keith was folding and unfolding the corner of one of the brown napkins that came with their wings. He took an occasional deep breath, as if to steady himself. 

Honestly, Lance wanted nothing more than to kiss it all away. Kiss away the nervousness, the pressure. But he never really liked PDA with the exception of parties, especially in front of his sister. The urge did, however, make him realize he’d gone quite a while without kissing the sense out of Keith, and that knowledge only made the urge stronger. He tried placating it with small pecks to his cheek or shoulder or a gentle kiss to the back of his hand when the others weren’t looking right at them. 

Veronica was the first to leave around ten. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” Lance asked. 

“Nah, I have to take Papi to his doctor appointment tomorrow. And I left all my stuff.” She shrugged. “But you’ll be coming home soon, and I can come up any weekend if you invite me. You know, now that you’re not keeping Keith a secret from me.” 

Lance pouted. “He’s not- he wasn’t a secret! I just… avoided explaining.” Veronica rolled her eyes and looked at Keith with a can you believe this kid? kind of look. “Alright, yeah now I’m just kicking you out.” 

“Oh really?” she challenged, immediately catching him in a headlock. Hunk and Pidge immediately started chanting encouragements as Lance yelped and tried to tickle her, but that only resulted in her grip tightening. “Tap out! Tap out!” 

“No!” Lance shouted, writhing in her grasp. Keith was laughing from where he sat on the floor, watching. “Would you stop stomping I have downstairs neighbors!” 

“Tap. Out!” 

Lance would’ve been able to get out of the situation easier if Veronica hadn’t trapped one of his arms along with his head. “God, you’re such an asshole,” he gasped, quickly tapping her knee as his side started to cramp from being hunched over awkwardly. 

She let go and bowed as Pidge clapped for her among the laughter. As she grabbed her keys, she said, “Damn, flaco, you lost in front of Keith. Aren’t you embarrassed?” 

“Okay, time to go!” Lance said, shoving her toward the door. She laughed and Lance felt a sudden increase in the weight he pushing. “No! Veronica, no! Stop! No seas asi!” 

“Gravity’s increasing on me. I can’t help it,” she answered, letting her weight fall against Lance and throw him off balance. 

“Why are you the way that you are?” Lance complained. “I swear, I’ll let you fall.” 

“Do it and see what happens, you little shit.” 

“ Ay, pues caminale!” 

“ Que se dice?” 

Lance scowled and shoved her again, huffing against the deadweight she was purposefully adding. “Please!” 

“Okay.” She stood upright and laughed at his expense. She brought him into a hug and tousled his hair. “You should see Keith’s face right now. He’s looking at you like you’re holding the stars,” she whispered. “That’s so gay.” 

“ Veronica!” He laughed and shook his head. “God I missed you. Please drive safely, okay? Let me know when you get home and give Mami a hug for me.” 

“I will,” she promised. “ Te quiero mucho, manito. And I’m really happy for you.” She tousled his hair again and smiled. “Be good, okay? Study hard!” She stood on her toes and yelled back, “Bye guys! And it was really great meeting- wait my flowers!” She shoved Lance aside and grabbed her little bouquet of flowers. “You’re my favorite person in this room, by the way, Keith. No one else ever gave me flowers and they’ve known me since they were little. Assholes.” Keith laughed and waved as she returned to the door. 

“Bye, Veronica!”

“You know we love you,” Pidge added.

Lance waited until Veronica made it to the end of the hallway to close the door. He plopped down on the armchair and tugged on Keith’s shirt for him to get up from the floor and join him. Keith stood up and squeezed in beside him, but ended up half on his lap. 

“I don’t think we fit here, pretty boy.” 

“Well Pidge and Hunk are taking up the couch and I want cuddles.” 

“Shit, well then I guess we’re not wanted here,” Pidge said as she threw a balled up napkin at him. 

“No, you are, I just also want my cuddles.” Lance wrapped his arms around Keith and snuggled into him. His sweater smelled like freshly ground coffee beans and new books. “Were you at a cafe?” 

Keith nodded. “Studying.” Lance hummed and shifted so Keith could be more comfortable despite being used as a body pillow. 

“So… do we get to hear the story of you coming out to Veronica?” Hunk asked. “It obviously went well, but what happened?” 

“Well, I mean she knew there was someone. She knew I'd been on a date and all that, I just never told her specifics….” Keith snorted and started to trace random patterns on Lance's arm as he caught them up on everything that happened that day. When he was done, he took a moment to look at his friends and smiled. “I'm really glad telling you guys never felt that terrifying.” 

“We were drunk when you told us, so you cheated,” Pidge reminded him. 

Hunk laughed and nodded. “But we're glad it was easy with us. Honestly, looking back, I don't know how we didn't see it coming.” 

“What do you mean?” Lance asked. 

Keith just laughed and nodded. “That tends to happen. Once you realize it, a lot of other things start clicking.” He raised an eyebrow and leaned closer to Lance. “So what did you realize?” he asked Hunk. 

“Well, I remember back in high school the goalie for our soccer team- we had a great soccer team- asked Lance for help studying because he was close to failing and they'd bench him if he did.” 

Pidge laughed. “Oh my God, yeah! That was what's his name, Kendall? No, no, no we called him by his last name it sounded like Limeade.” 

Lance buried his face into Keith's side and groaned. “That was Kinkade. We had the same Algebra class.” 

“Kinkade!” they said together. “Oh that's so true! I remember how nervous you'd get any time he'd talk to you and every time you had to meet with him after school you would hyperventilate.” Keith laughed and looked at Lance for confirmation. 

“He was a huge deal! All the girls in our school liked him and he had all the cool people for friends. It was weird having him ask me for help.” Lance blushed as he recalled the very nervousness Pidge and Hunk did. In retrospect, it was very similar to the nervousness Lance felt on his first date with Keith. “Oh.” He'd been so certain it was just because Kinkade was popular. Intimidating. But…. “Oh. My. God.” 

“There it is,” Hunk said with a laugh. “You totally had a crush on him.” 

“How did I not realize that?” Lance exclaimed, hiding himself in Keith's sweater. He shook his head and grumbled. “Oh my God I was so awkward with him I think he knew and I didn't even know I-” 

“I think you're fine, Lance,” Hunk said with a chuckle. “I just thought it was funny how it all kind of clicks now.” 

Lance rolled his eyes and hummed as Keith started playing with his hair idly. “As much as I'd love to stay to remember all the obvious signs of Lance's questionable sexuality,” Pidge said with a smirk, “I really gotta get home to work on a project I have to present Monday. Are we doing anything tomorrow?” 

“We can just text me and we can decide,” Lance said. “You guys leaving together?” 

“Hunk drove.” Lance nodded and smirked, but he felt Keith pinch him before he could say anything else. 

Hunk and Pidge said their goodbyes and left the apartment, so the only sound was the TV and Keith's soft breaths as he leaned into Lance. 

They'd managed to drape themselves along the armchair comfortably enough to stay, but it was an awkward position only bearable because of the other's presence. 

“Your sister's funny. And really sweet,” Keith said when Lance started playing with his fingers. “I like how you act around her.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“It’s like you both turn into little kids again. You pick at each other, but it’s never mean. You’re kind of dorkier, but that’s a good thing.” Lance laughed at the description and nudged him, feigning offense. “It’s cute! You’re cute.” 

Lance hummed and pulled Keith to lay over him, tucking back the longer strands of hair that fell forward behind his ear. “Well she liked you too.” Keith smiled as he stared down at Lance, tracing his index finger over Lance’s lip lightly. Lance chuckled and moved to bite his finger, but Keith drew back quickly. “That tickles.” 

Keith smiled at that, only responding with a hum before he leaned down to kiss Lance softly. Lance sighed in content and responded just as softly. He liked these slower kisses, when they took all the time in the world to just memorize the other’s lips. Time felt like it froze, or it just didn’t exist at all. They could stay there forever, moving slowly to admire everything about the other. 

Like the way Keith’s hair fell forward from behind his ear when ducked his head lower to kiss Lance’s jawline and tickled Lance’s face subtly. The softness of Keith’s dark hair when Lance pushed his fingers through it. The slow movement of his tongue as he licked down his neck and left small open mouthed kisses while his free hand gently brushed against Lance’s cheek. 

Lance sighed and held him closer. “I missed you last night,” he whispered. 

Keith responded with a playful, soft bite- really just a graze of his teeth. “I missed you too.” 

“Did you want to talk about anything?” 

Keith pulled himself up, looking confused. “What? What do you mean?” 

Lance shrugged. “I don’t know if you wanted to talk about some of the comments Shiro had made. You know, about dating.” 

“Oh.” Keith pulled himself up all the way and moved to sit on the arm of the chair. “Oh. Well. If you want to.” 

“Do you want to?” 

“I do if you do.” 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Do you want me to want to?” Keith furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Lance helplessly. Lance sat up and took his hand. “Just be honest with me, babe.” 

Keith looked at him oddly for a moment then stared at his shoes as he swung his leg. “I just don't want you to feel like you have to talk about it just because I do or feel like I have to talk about it because you do. The whole dating thing- it's not a big deal to me. But that's not because it's you it's just….” Keith looked frustrated, grasping for the right words. 

The expressions on his face made it seem like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. Lance rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb gently. Keith looked at him, deflated. 

“Hey,” Lance said softly as he shifted to face Keith. “We can figure it out as we go. We're not in a rush.” He leaned forward and kissed Keith's cheek. “What do you say if right now we just… cuddle on my bed and you sing to me while I play with your hair? And lots of kissing to make up for not having you here last night too.” 

Keith chuckled and stood up to pull Lance up with him, his arms wrapping around his torso. The smile on his face soothed the frustrated expression he'd had just a moment ago. “Let me guess- you wanna be the little spoon?”

Lance smiled and leaned in to kiss him. “You know me so well, koala.” 

Keith smiled at that, but something still seemed to be bugging him because the smile didn't reach his eyes. Before Lance could ask about it, Keith kissed him and tugged him down the hallway to the bedroom. 

Lance offered him a change of clothes and laid down on the bed as Keith put them on. For a moment, Keith stopped at his bookcase, his fingers skimming the spines of each book in silent fascination. 

He went to the bed and laid down, pulling Lance into his arms. Once Lance was comfortable enough, Keith lived up to his latest nickname and encased Lance with his arms and legs, holding him closely.

Lance was close to falling asleep, aided by the warmth of Keith's body and sound of his heartbeat at his ear and the whispered song he was speaking more than singing. Then the song stopped and Keith kissed his forehead. 

“Lance?” He hummed in response, closer to succumbing to sleep than being able to use words. “Why'd you stop writing poetry?” 

Lance's eyes flew open. He tried to control his facial expression, but Keith had already caught it. He was looking at Lance with a furrowed brows and confusion in his eyes. 

“I…. What?” 

“Well… it sounded like it was a big part of you. And you have all those books and journals in your bookcase. Why did you stop writing?” 

It was too hot. Keith's arms were suddenly too heavy. But it was fine. He was fine. 

He shrugged and ducked his head so Keith couldn't see his face anymore. “I just don't have time anymore.” 

Keith took a deep breath. He didn't answer for a while. Lance figured that was all, but a few moments later, he said, “Is that girl you mentioned earlier an ex or something?” 

“What? Who?” He pulled back a bit to look at Keith. 

“The one you mentioned,” Keith answered, a bit of frustration seeping into his voice. “And Hunk asked if she was your friend now and-” 

“No, no, no, she's not my ex. She's just my friend.” 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows, and Lance wondered if he didn’t believe him. “Okay. Then who is your ex?” 

Lance felt his body go cold and stiff. He gripped Keith’s arm and scoffed. “What’s that matter?” His voice was small. Not even a whisper, and the petrified feeling soaking through his veins made it hard to even say those three words. 

Suddenly, Keith was pulling away from him to sit up. He was grabbing his shoes, and Lance felt slow to catch up. 

“What’s it matter?” Keith spat back. “Jesus, Lance.” 

“What are you- where are you going? Why are you-?” Keith walked toward the door and Lance hurried off the bed to stop him. “Keith-”

Keith turned around, snatching away from Lance’s hold. “Do you know how many people I’ve told the things I told you? About Roland, about Shiro, about my mom and my foster parents?” Lance stared at him, not understanding where such a sudden shift in mood came from. “Not even Shiro knew the full extent of what happened with Roland. I told you all of it when you asked because I trust you. I know it took me a while, and there’s still things I have to build up to telling you, but…. Lance, you don’t tell me anything.” 

“I don’t- What the hell are you talking about?” Lance exclaimed. “Yes I do! I’ve told told you about my life, about my family, and my friends-” 

“You don’t talk to me about the things that matter!” Keith gestured to the bookshelf. “Why is it I didn’t even know you wrote poetry until Pidge said it? Why didn’t you tell me about how you used to write it since you were six? Why do I have to find out from Veronica that your dad doesn’t like what you’re studying? Why didn’t I even know you had an ex until Pidge mentioned her?” 

It felt like his body had been electrocuted. “Pidge di- What did she say?” 

Keith narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists. “Nothing! She just mentioned a past relationship and then said you don’t like dwelling. That’s not the point!” Keith looked desperate at this point. He shoved the tips of his fingers into Lance’s chest. “I should have heard it from you! I should have heard about the poetry from you. I should know about… about the shitty stuff too, not just the funny stories about pranking Veronica and losing a bet with your brothers.” 

“Okay, okay, you’re right. I should’ve, and I’m sorry. I didn’t know it mattered. But you know now.” Keith scoffed and shook his head. He left the room and Lance followed, calling after him. “What else do you want me to say, Keith?” 

Keith turned back around, looking furious. “Why don’t you trust me? You were the one that kept begging me to believe you were serious about this. But you’re the one holding back.” 

“I do trust you.” Lance cupped his face, but Keith pushed his hands away. “Keith, I do! Of course I trust you. You wouldn’t have met Veronica if I didn’t.” 

Keith stared at him with his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed. “Why did you stop writing? Don’t give me that bullshit about not having time.” 

Lance stared at him wordlessly. He didn’t want to lie, even if it seemed like a small lie. It obviously wasn’t. Keith was taking this to heart. But he still couldn’t bring himself to say the truth. He gulped and tried not to wither under Keith’s glare. He couldn’t even bring himself to form a thought of an answer. It was too much. 

With a huff, Keith tried something else. “Can I see one of your journals? Some of your writing?” 

All of those journals had her. Somewhere, somehow. Lance couldn’t hand those over without it saying everything he didn’t want to say. He hadn’t even opened them since he decided he wouldn’t write again until he could write about something that wasn’t Allura. 

He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair frantically when Keith scoffed in exasperation. “No, they’re not… they’re not for people to see.”

Keith started pacing, aggravation clear in the tension of his body. Lance could tell he was struggling to stay in control of his temper. “Why didn’t you tell me about your ex?” Keith asked instead.

“I don’t… like talking about it.” 

“Do you think I liked talking about Roland?” Keith’s voice was so loud compared to the feeble responses Lance could muster. “You asked me; you begged me to tell you and I did! I tried to let you tell me on your own but you’re-” Keith growled and turned away. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I’ll see you later.” 

“Keith, please don’t walk away.” Keith hesitated at the door with hunched shoulders. Then he sighed and opened the door to leave.

Lance felt like the wind had been squeezed out of him. He opened the door to follow, to bring him back. This wasn’t right, this wasn’t how tonight was supposed to be.

Keith was already down the hall, going down the staircase before Lance could even shut his door. He was fast, and his steps were heavy- something Lance hadn’t even noticed was unlike him until it was happening. He kept calling after him, shouting for him to wait. 

He didn’t reach him until he got to his motorcycle. Lance ran to place himself in front of it, his own hands on the handles. He could feel his voice waver when he spoke. “Keith, I know it looks bad, but I promise-” 

“Don’t. Don’t promise me anything.” Keith stared at him and started the motorcycle. “Lance… don’t… don’t cry.” 

“Then stay. Please.” 

Keith took a breath and grit his teeth. “Let go. I can’t be around you right now.” 

“Keith-”

“ Let go of my bike.” 

Lance grit his teeth and held on, more resolute. “No. Not until you get off and come back inside with me. Please, baby, just-” The bike revved, startling Lance into jumping back from it. Without another word, Keith sped out of the lot. 

If it hadn’t felt so cold, Lance would’ve stayed outside, collapsed to the floor and tried to wait for Keith to snap out of it and come back. But it was cold, and he didn’t have a sweater, and he knew Keith wasn’t coming back. Not that night. He forced himself to walk back inside, slightly dazed as he made his way back up the stairs.

What happened? They were supposed to be in a good place. Keith had met Veronica. Lance had met Shiro. Keith should have been there, lulling him to sleep, kissing his forehead and his cheeks and.... He wasn’t supposed to be gone. The night wasn’t supposed to have turned into a fight. He’d come out to his sister, he’d introduced them and they liked each other. Lance should have been celebrating, not walking back to his apartment, struggling to breathe. 

When he made it back to his room, he was filled with resentment. Towards himself, towards Keith, toward Veronica and Pidge, and for a tiny split second towards Allura. He was hurt, and he was afraid. He didn’t know if this meant it was all over or if it was just an argument, and he didn’t think Keith would answer if he called. 

He should’ve seen it coming. He should’ve known it was bothering him, he should’ve caught on. He should’ve been able to give Keith something, but…. He couldn’t. Even all this time later, there was still so much he was shoving down and suffocating. Like the fucking poems. 

He turned to his bookcase and pulled out three of his journals, staring at them in anger, like it’d been their fault Keith walked out. Stupid journal with stupid poems. Stupid past that wouldn’t stay in the past. 

Without thinking, Lance started tearing out the pages in one of his journals, hoping that by destroying the words he would destroy the emotions. He yelled through clenched teeth, crumpling the pages in his fists before he let them fall to the floor. He threw the journal at the wall, letting out a loud curse as it thumped against the wall and fell to the floor. When he reached for another, he saw something slip out and froze. 

It was facedown, but he knew what it was. He’d forgotten it was there. He fell to his knees and grabbed the small photo, turning it over slowly. It was a photo of Allura, laying on a blanket in the park. Her hair was fanned out to one side, her eyes shut as she basked in the sun. It was one of the last pictures Lance had of her completely healthy. He’d taken it without her knowing because he’d thought she looked like a modern day renaissance painting of a goddess. 

Seeing her photo was like flipping a switch. Lance looked at his floor and all the torn sheets of poems, and he felt panic spike in his chest. 

“No, no, no, no,” he moaned, picking up the pages. He crawled around the floor until he had them all along with the journal. Then he grabbed the tape on his desk and sat down on his bed, spreading them out with trembling hands to soothe out the wrinkles. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” He tried his best to get them back in order, to tape any he ripped apart and to rewrite the words that had faded with a tear. 

For the better part of an hour, Lance worked on repairing his journal, sniffing and shaking and wiping away runaway tears because he was remembering everything that happened when these poems were written, because he wished Keith were there, helping him, because he wished he felt like he’d just spat on Allura’s memory by trying to erase the the muse she was for him, because he wanted Keith to come back and tell him it would be okay. 

When his journal was put back together as best as he could, he placed all of them back on the shelf as best he could. Then he went to the living room to grab the giant stuffed lion that tended to chill in the corner. He took it back to his room to use as a body pillow, as a comfort after the argument. 

Then, after shutting off the lights and telling himself he would be able to sleep, he pulled his phone out and sent Keith a text. 

I know you’re angry, but please just tell me if you got home okay

He held his phone close and waited. He could have been asleep already. He’d left an hour ago, and it was a little past two in the morning. He just wanted a response to tell him Keith wasn’t cutting him out completely. He wanted to believe they would be okay. It was just an argument. 

The phone buzzed. 

I’m home. 

Lance sighed in relief and responded, Okay. goodnight. 

He was awake for another half hour waiting for a response that didn’t come.

Chapter Text

The wind felt like a slap in the face. Going fast was dangerous, but it was late and hardly anyone was on the feeder road. What few cars were still on the road were speeding on the highway, and Keith knew where cops tended to hide out at these hours anyway. 

He couldn't go back to his house. Shiro would hear him coming in and he'd ask why he hadn't just spent the night. But he didn't want to go back to Lance's. He couldn't. It hurt too much. 

Fuck. 

This was exactly what he wanted to avoid. This pain that depended on someone else, this frantic lack of comprehension stemming from what he felt for someone else and what they didn't feel for him. 

Lance kept poetry, writing, and any bad things locked up so tightly, like he didn't want Keith to know. But Keith couldn't fathom why. He'd already shown he had his own baggage, he'd already laid out some of his own pain for Lance to know about. Hadn't he also proven that he would take Lance seriously- hadn't Lance wanted that?

He made a sharp turn, nearly losing his balance. He skidded to a stop, knowing Shiro was going to kill him for fucking up his tires but he was too pent up on anger to care. He went around the back of the gas station and began pacing in front of the graffiti. The streetlights from the street behind him allowed some light to fall on the shapes and colors, turning it into a washed out sepia. 

He was right. He was right, he was right, he was right. 

Keith scowled as he stared up at the dragon. 

No one's ever gonna love you like me, Keith. You know that right? But a lot of people in this world… they pretend. They pretend to care just to hurt you. We can only trust each other. 

No, no, no. It wasn't true, and Keith knew it. He had Shiro. He had Adam. He had his foster parents, his mom. 

But Lance was supposed to be different. Lance was the one who said he wanted Keith to let him in. Lance wasn't supposed to make Keith feel like… like everything he'd been told before was true, he shouldn't have had that power in the first place. He knew what it was like for someone to have such an effect on his emotions. He hated it. 

He hated this feeling of being vulnerable. But he only hated it now because he felt hurt. Because he felt like Lance was using it to his advantage even if he didn’t know it, and now Keith was here at this stupid graffiti wall with reminders of everything. Everything . 

Maybe it wasn’t a big deal. Lance had waited for Keith to be ready to talk, and he’d back off when he didn’t want to. Keith had tried to do the same, but….

There was something about the way he felt when he was listening to everyone talk about their past with him. He felt stupid when he was confused about the writing, and the hesitance his family had about his major. He felt like he should’ve known those things. He should’ve known since before Shiro and Adam asked him that he wanted to be a teacher, and why. 

But he hadn’t known any of it. Because Lance didn’t talk about it. Keith didn’t know why. He didn’t know if Lance just wanted to make Keith think his whole life was happy-go-lucky, or if it was because he didn’t trust him yet, or if it was just because he didn’t think it was important.

Maybe he didn’t even have the right to know. It wasn’t like Keith was his boyfriend. They both clearly didn’t want that. That was reason enough to keep things from each other…. 

Keith felt like throwing something at the stupid wall. Anything. Before he could think it through, he was back on his motorcycle and heading to the 24-hour Wal-Mart just a few blocks down. It was petty, probably stupid, and very unnecessary, he knew that much. But he needed to let himself burst.

He hadn’t let himself lose his temper toward Lance because he’d been on the receiving end of that before. He knew how terrifying it was for someone you liked to suddenly turn on you because they couldn’t handle it. And he didn’t want to let steam off by punching a cement wall coated in old spray paint. There was no way he would explain that to Shiro and no way he’d even be able to drive his motorcycle if he fucked his hand up that badly. 

By the time he was at the gas station, he had his array of weapons. A carton of eggs, a few moldy vegetables that were on clearance, and can of spray paint. 

“Six fucking years,” Keith muttered, opening the carton of eggs. He threw one at the flying griffin’s beady eye. “Six fucking years and you still have me all fucked up!” He threw another and another. “You were wrong! I always- deserved- more- than you!” Keith threw egg after egg, unable to even feel the cold in his fingertips.

He switched to the bag of old produce. Mushy tomatoes, badly bruised pears, anything he could find that he knew would be squishy enough to splatter against the wall. “You don’t own me anymore. You never fucking did.” Keith threw them at the dragon, wanting to destroy the image someone else had created for him, had tried to mold him into. “Powerful dragon my ass,” Keith hissed. More like shackled, tamed weapon. A pet to show off. 

Your foster family doesn’t get you, baby. But I do. That’s why I tell you everything. It’s you and me against the universe. 

Keith threw another fruit. It splattered open, chunks of it flying back as it bounced from the force. “He’s not.... Lance is not…. You were wrong about everyone.” So why were the words still in his head? Why did part of him still believe them? 

Lance wasn’t using him. Wasn’t trying to get information out of him just to hold it over his head. Keith knew that, he knew it in some logical part of his brain, in his heart. 

But those words were still there. That idea of inequality existing because Keith wasn’t worth it, because it was going to be used against him…. That fear was still there. 

And it hurt too. It hurt that Keith had pushed through bad memories to explain to Lance why he was so hesitant about him, had told him a little about his mom, about what it was first like with the Shirogane family…. And for it to feel like Lance wasn’t even trying to push through his own bad memories. Were they just that bad, or did he just not want Keith to know? If Keith had made the effort why wasn’t Lance? And why did it hurt so much that Lance wasn’t telling him? 

Keith growled and pulled his hand back to throw another piece of produce at the art. 

Then he heard a sound. Something wet… like chewing with your mouth open. He grabbed his phone and shined a light immediately, catching a small animal lapping at the bits of food that had fallen to the ground after Keith threw them. Before he could get a good look though, the animal dashed under the dumpster quickly. 

Was that a cat? A dog? Maybe a raccoon? 

Keith rolled a peach toward the dumpster. A small snout stuck out from under the dumpster and sniffed, but when Keith took another step, it receded. Keith shone his light underneath, lowering the brightness to keep from startling the animal. As he fell to his stomach to look, he saw the gleam of the light reflected back with wide eyes, looking like creepy laser eyes staring back at him. But the small body was crouched, shaking at the far end of the dumpster. 

“Hey,” Keith whispered, holding the peach out gingerly. It was a dog. A small dog. It looked like a tiny bear with matted fur and floppy ears. “Come here, buddy. You hungry? I got a lot of snacks.” He broke open the peach and the dog’s snout twitched with interest. “Did I scare you? I’m sorry. I won’t hurt you. Come on.” He whistled gently, but the dog stayed put, staring back. “Okay, have it your way,” he huffed. 

He sat up and stared up at the defiled art piece. He tore apart the peach as he did, leaving pieces of it scattered around him. 

Sure enough, the dog slowly crept out from under the dumpster, finding the pieces of food and eating them hungrily. Keith got a better look at it. It looked like… maybe a German Shepard. The fur was too long for that, but the color scheme was right.One of the ears had a pointy end, despite it flopping, like the dog hadn’t quite grown into them. The other looked clipped, though Keith couldn’t tell if it was from another animal or a human. 

“You look pretty beat up,” Keith said, as though the thing could understand him. “Come here.” He held out his hand, another piece of peach in his hand. “It’s okay.” The dog neared him then backed off, torn between getting its food and not trusting the human figure. “Yeah, I get it,” Keith murmured. “Here.” He tossed the piece halfway between them. The dog flinched, then slowly crept forward to eat the fruit. “Wanna do me a favor and piss on the wall over there?” Keith asked. 

The dog sat, quickly swallowing his food and falling back. Keith tore another piece off. His hands were getting sticky, but he didn’t mind. He worried giving the dog the whole peach would result in the poor thing choking on the pit. But he started tossing the peach pieces a little closer, careful not to move too much the closer the dog got. 

“Did you run away?” The dog tilted its head. Keith gave the dog a once over, shining his flashlight on it. “You’re bleeding. Did someone hurt you?” Again the dog tilted his head further. Keith chuckled. “You’re cute. I’m out of peach, but here.” He held his hand out and the dog slowly walked forward, sniffing Keith’s hand. A hesitant tiny tongue licked out, making Keith laugh. 

Finally, the pup seemed to feel a little more at ease and took to licking all the peach juice from Keith hand and fingers. Keith noticed a collar around its neck, but he couldn’t see the name on the tag. When he turned his hand to pet it, he must have moved too fast because the dog whimpered and ran back to the dumpster, holding one of its hind legs up gingerly. 

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” Keith sighed, wondering what happened to this poor dog. He dug in his bag and pulled out a box of Nilla Wafers he’d gotten for himself. “You want one of these? I won’t scare you this time.” He huffed and shook his head. “I need to stop talking to you like you understand me. I sound stupid.” 

The dog let out a little huff and stared. Keith shrugged and put a pile of the cookies where he was sitting before he stood up. “Fine. You can eat while I’m not looking at you. I gotta finish my job here.” He grabbed the spraypaint and stood up, heading toward the wall. 

Stupid art, always so well-preserved. All these years and it was better taken care of than the actual gas station. Keith scoffed and uncapped the bottle before aiming at the griffin. He sprayed in haphazard circles, zig-zags, and slashes. Then he turned to the dragon and gave it the same treatment.

Maybe now Keith could let it go. If there was no art to see, there was no reason to come back. No reason to think of him. 

But no matter how ruined the art was, Keith would always remember him. He’d remember everything he’d been told. He could still imagine the weight of the arm over his shoulders, pulling him close.

You’ll do it for me, right my love? You won’t say anything, will you baby? You’re coming with me, aren’t you, buttercup? You love me, don’t you? 

No matter how much Shiro had tried to help when Keith was finally free from that asshole, it was useless. It still was. 

Keith had tried hard all his life to never be defined by the things that happened to him. An orphan? A foster kid? It didn’t mean he had to live his life with that identifying him. Unsure of whether he was Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Korean, or something else? That was fine. It didn’t matter if he didn’t know his heritage, he could create his own path. 

When he realized he was gay, when he was brought in to different families, any time he was let down, all the struggles of changing schools, then his mom dropping in on him. It was all hard, and it was exhausting, but none of it defined him. He defined himself. His past didn’t have to determine who he was. 

But the effects that people had on him now…. The way he’d been treated, the things he’d been told…. They were burned into his memory as angry reminders. And even when things went well, when things were different, those words, those actions found their way up to the surface to tease him, to shackle him to a past he wanted to leave behind.

He hated it. He hated feeling like he may never truly break free from the grasp of someone who he hadn’t even seen in years. He hated that everything that happened with Roland felt like a reiteration, like life was laughing at him, proving his fears right. 

Keith threw the can at the wall with a shout before he knelt down, balancing himself on the balls of his feet. He pressed his hands to his face and shook his head. He wanted to get rid of that touch of those words of those memories.

Lance was nothing like him. Lance wasn’t trying to make some unbalanced power dynamic. He wasn’t trying to make Keith feel insignificant. Maybe he really just needed time. Maybe he just didn’t want Keith to feel bad for him. He looked stressed when Veronica talked about their dad’s opinion on Lance’s education. Maybe…. 

God Keith felt like he was going in circles. 

No tears. No tears, no tears. He would not cry over someone else ever again. Never. He was stronger than this. He plopped onto the ground, tired and shaking. It took everything in him to keep himself together- just barely. His body shook with the effort until he was gasping for breath. 

Why can’t I let you go? 

Something nudged against his leg, making him start. He gasped as the puppy fell back, startled by Keith’s reaction. “Oh. Hey.” There were crumbs all over the dog’s maw, and Keith raised an eyebrow. “Did you enjoy your cookies? Let me get you more.” He stood up to grab the box of wafers, surprised to see it was empty. “Did you… eat them all?” Keith looked at the puppy who tilted its head. He hadn’t moved closer, but he hadn’t moved away either. 

He huffed and shook his head. “You could’ve left me one, you know?” The puppy yipped and Keith felt his heart melt at the small sound. “Alright, I forgive you,” he said with a chuckle. He sat back down on the ground and pet the space beside him. “Come here.” 

The dog cocked its head both ways in turn before slowly limping over. It pressed a paw to Keith’s leg before deeming it sturdy enough to climb onto, laying over his lap with its bad paw dangling. “Can I pet you?” Keith asked softly. He moved slower this time, giving the puppy a chance to see what he was doing. 

This time, he was able to touch the tangled, wet fur. “You could use a bath, buddy.” He moved his fingers along to the collar to twist the tag toward himself. 

Boxer. Keith frowned. TIny, bear-like puppy like this didn’t look like a Boxer. He read the address as he scratched behind his ear. It was close by. A quick drive to the next exit on the highway. Keith knew the street because he passed it on his way to campus. 

“Your family must be worried. You look like you’ve been out on the streets for a while.” He hummed as he looked at his bike. “You’re small enough to fit with me if you don’t squirm too much. What do you say? Wanna go on a ride?” 

The puppy had no idea what Keith was saying but the more Keith scratched at his ear, the more he wagged his furry tail. Keith chuckled and gently wrapped his hand along the underside of his belly, lifting him as he stood up. “Easy, it’s okay,” Keith murmured as Boxer’s front paws wrapped around his arm tightly, like he half expected to fall. “It’s okay. I gotcha.” He unzipped his jacket and tucked the puppy in as best he could, careful of his paw. 

He started his motorcycle, driving slowly, aware of the injured puppy that could easily slip from his hold. But Boxer seemed more than happy to stay with his head turned to the wind. 

At least until they got to the street. There, Boxer started squirming, whimpering, and trying to get out of Keith’s jacket. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Keith said, grabbing him tightly. “Easy, buddy, it’s okay. I’m just taking you… home.” 

The dog was shaking. Even with Keith holding him tightly against his diaphragm, he could feel the tremors. The dog’s tail was curled in between his legs, and Keith was pretty sure he felt urine against his stomach. His ears were flat against his skull, his whimpers sounding similar to a small child’s. He was terrified. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Keith murmured, holding the puppy tightly. “You wanna come home with me?” He hushed the puppy, petting it soothingly. “You won’t go back. It’s okay.” He fiddled for the collar, unlatching it before he dropped it to the ground. “I don’t know what they did to you, but you won’t go back there. I promise.” Keith hunched over the puppy, shushing it until the whimpers quieted. He was still shaking, but he wasn’t trying to get away anymore. 

Keith revved his bike again and headed home. He didn’t want Shiro asking about anything, but he was now covered in dog piss, had an injured puppy, and nowhere else to go. When he made it home, he heard a door open, and Shiro came out, looking half asleep in a T-shirt and boxers. 

“Keith? What the hell are you doing home? It’s nearly two in the morning.” Before Keith could think of a response, Shiro added, “Why… do you have… a dog?” He sniffed the air and grimaced. “And what is that smell?” 

“Long story,” he answered. “I found him. I’m keeping him.” 

“Wh-”

“I gotta shower. And clean him up.” Keith walked past Shiro towards the bathroom. He turned on the faucet and patted the tub. “Come on, boy. Time for a bath.” But the puppy stayed put. He sat, staring at Keith for a moment, then made a move to start for the door. But Shiro appeared in the doorway, and the puppy scampered toward Keith. “Hey! Be careful, he’s really skittish. I think he was hurt by his last owner.” Keith picked him up and gently placed him in the water where he froze, but didn’t cower or whine. 

“Am I going to get any kind of explanation? About anything?” Shiro asked. “Why didn’t you stay at Lance’s if it’s so late? Where the hell did you find a dog?” 

Keith sighed and switched the water to the detachable shower head. The dog’s spine curved like a cat’s, but he stayed. His big eyes blinked up at Keith pitifully. “Found him by the dumpster.” 

“Dumpster.” Shiro leaned against the bathroom sink and waited. “Go on.” 

Keith sighed and rolled his eyes. “I got in an argument with Lance. I left-”

“To the gas station? You went back to that graffiti wall, didn’t you?” 

Keith shrugged. “It’s not so pretty anymore.” He grabbed the shampoo, making a mental note to buy one that was safer for dogs. He didn’t think one time would hurt, so long as he kept it out of the puppy’s eyes, but he knew it wasn’t the best choice either. 

“What are you- Keith, what did you do?” Shiro asked with a sigh. 

“Nothing that wasn’t called for. Right, buddy?” The pup stared at him, hunched over and soaking wet. “I tried taking him home, but as soon as we got to his street he freaked out. He started shaking and then he peed on me. He’s hurt, and I think whoever owned him did it to him.” 

“And so you’re keeping him.” Shiro sat on the toilet seat and Keith tried not to feel watched as he washed the puppy down. “What’d you and Lance argue about?” 

Keith grimaced. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He struggled to get all the soap out of the dog’s fur while being careful of the injured paw. It looked like a deep gash, but as Keith washed him, he noticed a few other gashes in different stages of healing. “Fucking assholes,” he muttered under his breath. “Can you get me a towel?” 

Shiro sighed and went to get one. When he came back, he looked at Keith with curiosity. “Did you guys break up?” 

“We're not-!” Keith blushed and shook his head. “We aren't dating. So there's no breakup. I don't know, I… I left.” 

“Left… him, or just his place?” 

Keith sighed and rubbed his face with the dry part of his arm as he helped the dog out of the tub. “Do you mind? I smell like dog pee and need to shower.” He tried to hand the dog over, but he started thrashing again. “Whoa! Okay, you stay here then.” 

Shiro backed off and shook his head. “Well… just knock on my door if you want to talk.” 

Keith nodded and waved him away. He kept the puppy wrapped in the towel as he took his own shower. He heard his phone buzz and checked the sender. Lance. 

I know you're angry, but please just tell me if you got home okay.

Keith didn't think he'd still be awake. But if he still messaged him, then maybe it wasn't a “break” of any kind. Just an argument. 

Keith wiped the water from his fingers and answered. 

I'm home. 

He turned off the sound on his phone and finished showering. He wrapped the towel around his waist and picked up the dog before going to his room to change. When he was done changing, he worked on trying to dry his new dog off gently. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed the LED light on his phone with the blue color of a received text. He unlocked it and checked the text. 

Okay. goodnight.

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and put his phone down. The dog’s big eyes flitted up toward Keith, as if in question. “Don’t look at me like that. You don’t know the details.” The puppy blinked. “I’ll talk to him eventually. He’s just… confusing me.” The eyes flitted away and his little body shook to get rid of the water on his fur. “Agh! So I know whose side you’re on.” The puppy yipped and crawled into his lap. He started licking at his hind leg and Keith gently nudged his maw away. “Don’t do that.” 

The puppy bit onto his hand, and Keith could feel the way he shook slightly as he restrained his bite to remain playful. “What do you say we give you a new name? That way you get to start over completely.” The puppy responded by biting more of Keith’s hand. “Okay, tell me which one you like.” Keith hummed as he pulled his hand back. “What about Lycan? A little on the nose, I think, but sounds cool.” No response, of course. “Hm, what about… Stitch?” The dog bit towards Keith’s hand again. “Ooh, you don’t like that. Hm. Maybe… Kosmo? With a K because I’m Keith.” The puppy pawed at his chest and yipped. “Hey! You like that one! Alright, Kosmo, let’s wrap your leg up until I can get you to a vet.” 

Keith carried him toward the bathroom again and placed him on the counter. He pulled out the gauze from the first aid kit and wrapped it around Kosmo’s hind leg. Kosmo kept trying to nip at Keith’s hand as he wrapped him up. He had to be careful about how he moved around Kosmo, because fast movements made the him flinch or whine. 

“It’s okay, boy. You’re not going back there anymore. I won’t hurt you. Come on, let’s get some sleep.” He carried him again and placed him on the bed. “You’re safe, Kosmo.” Keith pet his head gently as he stared at his ceiling, thinking of everything he’d said to Lance. 

Maybe it was just an argument, but Keith didn’t know how they were supposed to get over it. It was clear Lance wasn’t going to explain. And it wasn’t like Lance could take back Keith knowing about his writing so he could tell him himself. But Keith couldn’t just say he was fine when he wasn’t even getting explanations for why Lance hadn’t told him. He didn’t want to go see him and have it become an even bigger argument. He didn’t want to not see him and have it turn into something it didn’t have to be. 

Keith didn’t know what to do. It was driving him nuts. Kosmo nuzzled closer to him, snuggling his snout under Keith’s pillow and huffing. Keith decided to pet him to lull himself to sleep and get the thoughts out of his head. 

The next morning, he woke up to a paw clawing the blankets away. Keith blinked in confusion before he remembered that he’d taken Kosmo in. “What is it?” 

The puppy yipped again and again, nearing the edge of the bed before falling back and pawing at Keith again. He couldn’t jump off. He limped around in a circle, whining, but when Keith got up, he started wagging his tail. “Wanna go outside?” Kosmo barked and Keith laughed as he picked him up to take him to the backyard. 

By the time Keith brought him back inside, Shiro was already awake and making breakfast. Kosmo ran into the kitchen with his nose in the air. Keith followed, watching him to be sure he didn’t mark his territory inside. 

“So… did you replace Lance with a dog or something?” Shiro asked as he dropped a sausage to the floor. Kosmo pounced on it and laid on the floor to tear it up. 

“No,” Keith answered.

Shiro gave him a sidelong glance. “Well…. You seem pretty calm about it.” Keith scoffed. “Why’d you go to the gas station last night? Why didn’t you just come home?” 

“I don’t want to be interrogated, Shiro.” 

“I wouldn’t if you hadn’t come home at two in the morning with a dog, post-vandalization, and pretending everything’s okay with this argument. You could’ve gotten hurt, Keith. Or sick! It was cold and that place is disgusting. The dog could have had rabies-”

“Kosmo is fine. He’s just a runaway. I’ll take him to the vet today.” 

Shiro frowned. “Why did Lance just let you leave?” 

Since he was evidently not going to be able to avoid the topic of Lance and their argument, Keith sighed and sat down at the table. “He didn’t. I left because I wanted to. He tried to stop me, but I was angry, and I didn’t want it to make things worse.” 

“So naturally you ran off.” Keith scowled and Shiro rolled his eyes. “Sorry. But you know I’m right.” 

“Whatever.” Shiro snorted and offered him a plate of spam and eggs. Keith accepted it and began to poke at it with a fork. Kosmo seemed interested by the smell, but he paced around the table like he was scared to get too close. “It’s just…. I know we’re not in a real relationship, so I’m probably not entitled to anything. But it still sucks that I’ve told him so much and he never tells me anything. It feels like he’s hiding from me or trying to make me more vulnerable to him, and I don’t like it. Everything I find out, I find out because of someone else.” 

Shiro seemed to take some time to digest Keith’s words. “I’m not.... Entirely sure what you mean by that. I thought Lance talked to you about a lot of things.” 

“Yeah, about his siblings or his favorite teachers in middle school or… all the happy and funny things. Or his favorite movies or songs. But he doesn’t… he doesn’t tell me anything that’s, y’know, upsetting.” Shiro furrowed his eyebrows, and Keith groaned. “Okay, for example, I didn’t know he wrote poetry until one of his friends told me he did. And I figured it must not have been a big deal if he didn’t mention it. Then his sister said-”

“You met his sister?” 

“Yeah, she visited yesterday. But the point is, she said Lance had been writing since he was six. Then he just stopped, out of nowhere. There’s obviously a reason for that, right? But when I asked he lied and when I called him out on it, he just said he didn’t want to tell me.” 

Shiro chewed thoughtfully and nodded. “Okay. Well…. Maybe he just wants you to know the best parts of him. To impress you. It takes time to talk about hard stuff.” 

“I know that!” Keith snapped. “I know that better than anyone! But I-” He took a breath and put his head in his hands. “I’ve opened up to him. I’ve been vulnerable, because I figured he’s genuine and he trusts me so maybe I can trust him. But he doesn’t trust me, Shiro. And I’ve told him about Roland, and about Mom and Dad, about my mom. I’ve told him how you got me into dance. I’ve told him some of the hard stuff. Not all of it, because yeah, it takes time. But he….” 

Shiro let out a long breath and nodded. “I think… people have a right to take longer times to talk about things. I get why you feel the way you do, Keith. After all you’ve been through, I get why you’re assuming or expecting the worst.” He tapped the table until Keith looked up. From the perimeter of the table, Kosmo barked at the sound. “But Keith, after meeting him… he seems to mean everything he says. Everything he does. I think that if he didn’t tell you, he had good reason, and maybe he would’ve with time. But other people got involved. It would’ve been like… if I told Lance about Roland the day he picked you up for a date.” 

Keith sighed and let that sink in. He tried to let the logic override his pride and hurt. Shiro was right. What they had was still new. It wasn’t even official. He’d overreacted. Lance wasn’t Roland. He wasn’t… him. Lance was Lance. He’d taken Keith by surprise and proven he was different from the very start. This wasn’t some power play or secret ploy to reduce Keith to vulnerability. 

It was just bad timing.

“Look, the first fight always sucks. It’s scary. But you move past it.” Shiro crossed his arms. “In a healthy relationship, they’re gonna happen sometimes, but you don’t just run away each time they do. And you figure it out.” Keith hummed and stared at the table. After a while, Shiro asked, “So… do you have money to get dog food or a leash or… anything?” 

“I… don’t know how much all of it costs, but I was hoping Kosmo’s uncle Shiro would help me?” 

Shiro rolled his eyes and got up to grab his wallet. He handed Keith a hundred dollar bill. “You need to find a new job. That should cover all the vaccinations and the basic dog stuff. If he shits inside, you’re mopping.” 

“Yeah, okay, Dad,” Keith muttered with a roll of his eyes. 

Shiro chuckled and took out another hot dog for Kosmo to chew on along with a small plastic container for him to drink water from. Shiro sat on the couch as Keith started scrolling through nearby vets and pet stores.

He started with a pet store for food, a collar, a rope toy, and a leash. He dropped that off at home so he wouldn’t have to tote it on his bike the whole time. Then he stopped at a vet clinic that took walk-ins, hoping the vaccinations and helping the gash on Kosmo’s leg wouldn’t be too pricey. 

By the time he was at the vet’s, he knew Lance would be awake. Keith didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t replied last night, so maybe Lance was waiting to hear from him. But Keith was busy at the moment anyway. 

He waited until after Kosmo got his check up- officially caught up on vaccines and his wounds properly cleaned- before he headed back home. He didn’t like that he could only have Kosmo in his jacket while on his bike, especially since the vet said he’d grow to be a pretty decently sized dog, somewhere within the medium to large breed range. It was a guess, since they didn’t know if Kosmo was mixed or a purebreed. He made a mental note to get the car back from his foster parents. 

It wasn’t until he got home that he decided to call Lance. He answered within the first few rings. 

“Keith? Are you okay? Please tell me you’re not calling to tell me you never want to see me again-”

“Can you have dogs in your apartment?” 

“I- what?” Keith repeated the question. “Um. Probably not, but if I can sneak one up, I don’t think anyone would notice…. Why?” 

“Do you mind dogs in your car?” 

“Do you… have a dog now?” Keith tugged on the rope toy that Kosmo was growling around as he pulled back vigorously with what small amount of strength he had. “Hello?” 

“Uh. Yeah. It’s… a long story. But….” Keith sighed. “I know we should talk after… yesterday.” 

There was a brief pause before Lance answered. “Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Um, no, I don’t mind dogs in my car…. Do you want me to pick you up?” 

“Please.” 

“Okay. I’ll be there soon.” 

Keith thanked him and hung up. He pulled Kosmo closer with the toy and huffed. “There, are you proud of me?” Kosmo growled and tugged relentlessly. Keith snorted and shook his head as he continued playing, waiting for the knock on the door. 

Chapter Text

Granted, the last thing Lance expected as the first thing Keith would say to him after their argument was can you have dogs in your apartment. But he wasn't complaining at all, because he thought the next thing he would hear was I don't think this is going to work out. 

The tone in Keith's voice was drastically different from what Lance had last heard. That had to be a good sign. 

As he drove towards Keith's house, he passed behind a gas station that typically had a nice mural of two mythical creatures in flight. Lance had passed by it enough times to where its magnificence faded to the back of his brain, but it was brought back that day because now it was gone. 

Not gone, exactly. It was still there. It was just ruined by maniacal sprawls of black spray paint, sprayed so haphazardly, the ink dried in drips. 

It was disappointing. The graffiti around the city varied between wannabe gang tags, vulgar dicks or boobs, and beautiful real art like encouraging phrases, a series of faces along one of the highways, or this one with the glistening scales of the dragon and the gleam of sunlight on the feathers of the griffin. It was hard to get those details with a spraycan, and Lance had always admired those pieces for the time put into them, even if they were in tunnels or building sides. That was one less piece of genuine art. 

Lance could see the store owner furiously trying to scrub, but getting rid of the black also got rid of the art beneath.

A honk made Lance jump and turn his attention back to the street, waving apologetically as he passed the stop sign. 

A few blocks later, he pulled into the driveway and took a deep breath. Keith asked him to come. He wasn't going to be turned away. He got out of his car and went to the door. When he knocked, he heard a high pitched, maniacal yipping bark. 

A few moments later, the door opened and Lance found himself facing Keith as he held a small dog in his arms. The dog thrashed and writhed, barking at Lance with vigor, but his tail was wagging. Meanwhile Keith looked awkward and uncomfortable, uncertain. 

Lance’s instinct was to lean forward and greet him with a kiss, but they were still in the middle of an argument. It was a strange concept to think that he didn’t know how to handle Keith when he was angry. 

“Hey,” he finally said, settling for the simple greeting. 

“Hi.” Keith opened the door further. “Come in. I gotta get my shoes on.” Lance stepped inside and made his way to the couch. Keith put the dog down and grabbed his shoes. The puppy stayed by Keith, but eyed Lance curiously, his tail wagging. 

“What's uh…. What's the dog's name?” 

“Kosmo. I found him on my way home yesterday.” Lance nodded and whistled for the dog to come toward him. But Kosmo only stared with his frantic tail and giant eyes. “He's skittish. I think he was abused or something.” 

Keith stood up, swooping the dog into his arms as he did. Lance noticed a bandage on one of the home legs. Keith bit his lip and nervously walked around Lance, his face flushed. It was killing Lance. 

He reached out to grab his arm gently. “Keith? Are we…. This thing….” He sighed and shook his head. “Are you done… with me?” 

Keith's eyes flirted along Lance's face. His jaw was clenched, but his eyes were wide. He let out a soft breath and reached out to smooth out the furrow between his eyebrows. “If I was done, I wouldn't be asking you to pick me up. And if you were done with me, you wouldn't have come. Right?” 

Lance smiled and let out a relieved sigh. “Yeah. Okay. Good. I….” He bit his lip and shrugged. “Can I kiss you?” 

Keith chuckled and pulled Lance in by the nape of his neck, planting a chaste kiss on his lips. Kosmo yipped and licked at their chins, making them both laugh as they broke apart. 

There was still residual tension from their argument… but at least Lance knew Keith wasn't going to give up on him. Keith called over his shoulder that he was leaving and Lance heard Shiro call back to text him if he was coming home or not later. Then they walked out to the car. 

The ride itself was quiet. Keith busied himself by playing with Kosmo as the music on the radio played softly. Lance kept reassuring himself silently that they would be okay. Like Keith said, he wouldn't have asked for a ride if he was planning on just… breaking up with him? Leaving him? What was it even called? 

Lance shook his head and tried to calm himself down. He let out a breath as he parked and shut off the car. “I didn't think you'd call me. You were really mad yesterday,” Lance murmured. 

“I… still am, kind of. Well, no, not mad, just… hurt.” Keith looked at him, and it was like he was arguing with himself. His eyes narrowed and he kept starting to say something that he second guessed.

Lance had an urge to take his hand, but similar to his hesitancy over a kiss earlier, he wasn't sure if he should. “The way you talked about it,” Lance started, trying to alleviate Keith of the burden of finding words. “Do you feel like you're putting more into this than I am?” 

“No. No, that's a bad way to…. I know you're trying too. I mean you came out to Veronica and you asked me to meet her. It just… feels like….” Keith sighed and pulled Kosmo closer, his hands dipping into his fur. “It hurts to talk about serious things. I know that. But I still tried for you because you asked and because when it was too much you let me off the hook. Then I asked you and you… you lied. You don't want to tell me, and I don't… I dont get why. What's the big deal about telling me you wrote poetry? Or about your dad? Or your ex or-” 

“I can't explain a lot about one thing without having to explain everything, Keith. I'm not ready for that.” 

His eyes flickered over to Lance, soft and worried. “I don't need to know everything,” he said softly. “I mean… would you have told me yourself? If Pidge or Veronica hadn't?” 

“Yes! Absolutely, Keith!” Lance slumped in his seat slightly. “I'd always hoped to tell you myself. I just needed to take my time. And with my dad about my degree, I just… don't like thinking about it. It makes me feel like a disappointment, so I don't acknowledge what he thinks, then….” He shrugged and flicked the dangling keys still stuck in the ignition. “But. What do you mean I lied?” 

“You said you stopped writing because you don't have time. But that's not…. It's your major. It's what you do.” 

Lance grimaced and flicked the keys. “It wasn't a lie…. Just half of the truth.” Keith fixed him with an unamused glare and Lance rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay. You're right. I'm sorry. I didn't think a small half lie would… hurt you so much.” He hesitated before reaching for Keith's hand. 

Kosmo bit at Lance's hand when he did, but Keith pushed his snout away gently. “No, Kosmo,” he said sternly. He looked back at Lance and let out a tired sigh. “Where do we go from here, Lance? I understand not wanting to talk yet. I don’t want to make you. But I also feel like… now I know things about you that you didn’t want me to know.” 

“I don’t mind you knowing,” he whispered. “I guess I just didn’t think it was so important to know about.” He hesitated and ran his thumb along Keith’s knuckles, ignoring the nervousness building in chest. “I get that you feel like I might not open up as much as you want when it comes to serious things. But that’s not just with you, koala.” He noticed Keith’s cheeks tinge pink at the nickname. “I just don’t like for people to know about the more serious things. I don’t talk about it until I’m bursting with it. Like the thing with my dad? Hunk and Pidge didn’t even know about it until I mentioned grad school to him once and he started going off about how pointless it was because it was just writing-” He groaned and shook his head, staring out to the bushes that were planted in front of the apartment building. “I got so mad and I was… hurt, I guess. I hung up and just started ranting. Pidge and Hunk had to collectively calm me down and reassure me. But they didn’t know it was an issue. I don’t… I don’t like being serious.” He brought Keith’s hand up to his lips and took a breath. “I do want to meet you halfway with this, though.”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head, so similar to the very movement his dog did in his lap, Lance had to stifle a laugh. “Okay… how?” 

Lance kissed his hand and pulled the keys out of the ignition. “Let’s get inside, yeah?” They got out of the car and Keith followed him as they went inside and up the elevator to his apartment. When they got inside, Keith put Kosmo down, and the puppy started running around and sniffing everywhere. Keith followed Lance to his room. 

“You moved Laith,” he noted when he saw the lion plushie on the bed. 

Lance chuckled and nodded, figuring he’d leave it at that. “I wasn’t sure when it would be your turn to take him.” Keith sat down and leaned against the giant stuffed lion like a pillow. Lance took a deep breath and went to his bookshelf, grabbing one of his journals, one that wasn’t torn and taped together. 

As he turned back around, Keith’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No, Lance, you don’t- I didn’t mean you had to- It’s okay-” Lance sat beside him, one eyebrow arched. Keith sighed and put his head in his hands. “Please don’t show me that because you feel like you have to. I know what I said, but-”

“Relax,” Lance said with a smile. His heart was pounding like crazy. Holding the journal was the only thing that was keeping his hands from shaking. “I’m doing this because I want to. Because you’re right, my poetry was a big part of me. You wanted to read some, and….” He took another breath to steady himself. “I don’t want you to read them all. I’ll have to tell you which ones, and you… you have to promise not to turn the page or flip through it- I sound like a serial killer-”

Keith laughed and shook his head. “No you don’t,” he said softly, sliding his hands over Lance’s. “Are you sure about this?” Lance looked into his eyes, his resolve strengthening as Keith seemed to stare into his soul. The more Lance looked at him, the more he felt like he could breathe. He felt calmer. He nodded. Keith smiled and nodded. “Could you read to me? I’d love to hear these in your voice.” Lance gulped and nodded. “Okay. Let me just take Kosmo outside to use the bathroom so he won’t like… mess up your carpet.” Keith got up and turned to lean over and kiss Lance softly. He pressed his forehead against Lance’s and whispered, “It’s okay if you change your mind, pretty boy.” 

Keith placed another kiss on the tip of his nose before turning away and calling for Kosmo. Lance felt his heart stutter at hearing the words pretty boy fall from his lips again. He took a deep breath when he heard the front door shut. 

This was terrifying. Lance knew that once he shared these poems with Keith, they would take on a piece of Keith. Just like the poems that he wrote for Allura had her in them, the poems Lance would show Keith would always be The Poems He Showed Keith. If Keith had a favorite, it would always be Keith’s Favorite Poem. Lance was about to bare a part, however small, of his mind and his heart to Keith. 

Of course, he believed what he had with Keith was good. He didn’t think that Keith would go anywhere any time soon, but…. There were possibilities. Keith could meet someone new, someone better. He could decide it was too much to be with Lance. He could just decide they weren’t working. Or he could follow Allura’s fate…. 

He shook his head. He couldn’t think that way. He didn’t want to think that way.

It was scary to think that he would be sharing his writing with Keith, but he wanted to do it. He didn’t write these poems so they could fade away on a shelf in unopened journals. He wrote them to share them. To release some part of himself to the world. 

By the time Keith came back, Lance was sitting in his bed, leaning against the wall with a pillow propped behind his back. Keith brought Kosmo in with him and shut the door before letting Kosmo roam free and joining Lance on the bed. 

“Hey,” he greeted gently. Lance smiled and let those indigo eyes wash over him, easing his erratic heartbeat. “So you’re still sure about this?” 

Lance chuckled and nodded. “Yes, Keith. I’m sure. I want you to read some of these. Because I want to share them with you. I’m… scared, but I… I trust you.” 

Keith tilted Lance’s chin up and kissed him softly. Then he scooted closer to him, leaning into his shoulder. He shut his eyes and smiled. “Well, whenever you’re ready then. I'll keep my eyes closed.”

Lance steadied himself and opened the journal. He flipped through with shaking fingers until he found one he wanted to start with. 

This one had been inspired from a day he'd spent with Hunk and Pidge at the park back home. He had seen a mother and father with their daughter on the playground. Pidge had been rambling about fairy folklore and the girl had been throwing herself off the ledge of the platform into her dad's arms as the mom laughed. Then he'd recalled something about a fairy being born each time a baby laughed for the first time. 

It had become a fantasy poem about laughter and life and flying. Focused on the joy of innocence and imagination and seeing the fairies no one else could. 

He heard Keith hum beside him now and then, a smile on his face as he leaned into Lance's shoulder. When he finished reading that poem, Keith took a deep breath and said, “That reminds me of one of my foster homes. They had three of us and they built this really cool fort outside for us to play. It was all slaying dragons and fighting monsters and… a lot of stuff I could never come up with now.” Keith shut his eyes again and waited patiently for Lance to decide if he wanted to read another. 

He flipped the pages, skipping over certain ones quickly. He glanced down at Keith, but his eyes were still shut. He read another, this one about baby birds taking flight from two points of view- one from the baby bird, the other as the mother. 

When he finished that one, Keith asked if he could open his eyes. Lance said yes and Keith looked down at the page, covered in Lance's scribbles, messy bird silhouettes, scratched out words, arrows pointing to where the next verse was supposed to be. His fingers hovered over the ink of the pen. “When did you write this one?” 

“Uh, some point after graduating high school.” Keith hummed and nodded. “Why?” 

Keith tapped on one of the verses, repeating it. “This line made it feel really human despite the birds. It made me think of a mom who didn't want to let go of their child.” Keith looked at him with a curious gaze. “Veronica mentioned you're first generation. Did your siblings stay home?” 

Lance chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. They moved in with a girlfriend or… well, Vero moved back in with them. But they're all still there. A ten, fifteen minute drive. And I'm…. Here. It's not too far, but…. It's away from them. And I know it hurt my mom to see me go. That's why I didn't apply to NYU, even though it was my dream school. I couldn't do that to her.” 

Keith stared at him with a solemn expression. It wasn’t pity; Lance could tell that much. But there was something in that look…. Something that grounded him, that made Lance feel like… like he was okay for a bit. There was something in Keith’s expression that made Lance feel real. 

Gentle fingers pressed against his cheek, so lightly it was like they were ghosting over the skin. “You have the biggest heart I’ve ever known, Lance.” 

Lance chuckled, a little disbelieving, but mostly flustered. Keith smiled at him, and the soft expression on his face made Lance’s heart feel like a hummingbird. “Ah, okay, let me see which other one.” Keith promptly closed his eyes again, leaning against him as he waited. 

Lance read him a handful of other poems- about anxiety, about growing up, about fears like death and being forgotten. He reached one that was particularly painful to read. The form of Apollo trying to heal a girl of multiple colors, blue and black and purple. Lance remembered crying as he wrote this one, fueled by anger and hurt and fear. And love. So much love. He tried to let that love seep through every word, tried to make it strong enough to heal. 

When he finished reading that one in a small voice, Keith took a shaky breath. “Lance? Who is that one about?” 

There was a beat before Keith looked at Lance, the hurt in the poem reflected in his eyes. Lance swallowed and shrugged. “Veronica.” 

Keith’s lips parted in surprise. “Veronica? She was…?” 

Lance nodded. “That’s why she moved back. Her boyfriend was a piece of shit and… she finally managed to get away from him. But she was scared of living alone.” Lance scowled as he thought back. “He was so good at putting up a face. Seeming like this really nice guy, really…. I remember laughing with him and my brothers and how we were all just…. I didn’t notice how different Veronica was starting to behave. How scared she looked all the time. Until I noticed the bruises. She couldn’t stop crying when she told me.” Lance felt his own voice break, and he blinked back the tears that stung his eyes even though it was so long ago. 

“Lance….” 

He sniffed and smiled. “I’m okay. And she’s okay now. It just… that’s my sister you know?” 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and took his hand gently. He ran his fingers over the ridges of his knuckles and hesitated before talking. “Is that why… you were so freaked out about me hitting Roland?” 

Lance let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah. Kind of. I’d seen his face then I saw your hands and I….” Lance shrugged, suddenly unable to form words. Words were his thing, and when he needed them most, he couldn’t find them. 

Keith brought his hand up to his lips and kissed it over and over and over. “I’m sorry.” 

Lance pulled his hand away to cup Keith’s face. “Hey. It’s okay.” He smiled and kissed him softly. “It's okay.” He took a breath and let it out in a nervous chuckle. Rereading these poems had opened up a part he wasn't fully prepared to have tackled. There were a lot of emotions swirling around in him, both old and new, and he felt tired. “Last one, yeah?” 

Keith nodded, interlocking their hands. The strength in his grasp steadied Lance and he flipped to a page he had dogeared the day he wrote it. The folded corner was nearly tearing away completely. 

“There is a psychic/ in my dreams,” Lance read. “Who likes to give me/ forbidden glances of things/ I shouldn’t know about. The future/ is exciting and horrifying/ but I never know/ it’s the future when I/ see it. Not until it’s too/ late. Which defeats/ the purpose, I think.// My psychic showed me/ my father in a hospital/ waiting room a week before/ my sister came down with the flu./ They showed me my aunt/ with a ring on her finger/ five days before she/ eloped. And most painful/ the one thing I knew was a glimpse/ of what was to come/ but didn’t have the courage/ to warn anyone about/ was the night my psychic/ showed me my mother bleeding/ in the bathroom./ Three days later she woke/ me up and said/ I have to go/ to the hospital/ something’s wrong./ I knew it the moment/ she got in the car with/ my father- the baby in/ her womb would not grow/ any bigger than/ the size of a bean.” 

“Oh my God,” Keith breathed out. He opened his eyes and looked at the page. “She...?” 

Lance nodded. “I was seventeen. It happened on Thanksgiving.” He shrugged. “We’ve always just called it frijolito, because we didn’t get a chance to know what it would be. I was still letting it process that there would be a new baby. And then suddenly, there wasn’t.” He sighed shut his journal. “I keep wanting to revise it, but I don’t think anything would fully grasp what that was like for all of us.” He took a deep breath and let out a nervous laugh. “There it is. My writing, some stuff about the things my family has gone through…. Some of the way my head works….” He shrugged again and looked down at his hands. “I know that was a lot.” 

Keith laughed softly and shifted to sit in front of Lance. “Yeah. It was.” He cupped Lance’s face with gentle hands so he could look him in the eyes. “And you have no idea how happy I am that you shared it with me.” Lance smiled weakly. He shut his eyes as Keith’s thumb caressed his cheek. “Thank you for trusting me that much, pretty boy.” 

Before Lance could answer, he felt Keith’s soft lips press against his own. It stole his breath away. It was far from being a heated kiss, but it still made Lance’s heart pound like crazy. Something about the gentle way Keith was holding him and the soft, certain way he kissed him, on top of all the emotions from reopening his poetry made Lance break. He felt tears slide down his face, hot and obnoxious, but he couldn’t stop them. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Keith whispered against his lips, swiping at the wet trail the tears left on his face. “What’s wrong?” 

Lance shook his head almost imperceptibly. “Nothing. I just missed you last night. I thought.… I was scared we were done.” 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I left like that.” Keith tilted Lance’s face towards him and wiped away the remaining tears. “I overreacted-”

“No, you didn’t,” Lance interrupted. “You were right. I just didn’t know it mattered. I didn’t realize…. I understand why you felt like… like I was hiding from you. I was. I just didn’t mean for it to come off as me not trusting you.” Lance bit his lip and took a breath. He looked into Keith’s eyes, hoping Keith would grasp the true weight of his words. “I trust you. And I need you to know… this thing we have is a huge deal for me. Not because you’re a guy, but because… I haven’t felt like this in a long time.” 

Keith smiled and bumped his nose against Lance’s, back and forth in a slow eskimo kiss. “This is a huge deal for me too, pretty boy.” Keith pulled him into another kiss, his hands slid to the nape of Lance’s neck. He pulled back, his eyes completely focused on Lance. “You’re a huge deal for me, Lance.” He kissed him again, ending it with another gentle eskimo kiss that left Lance blushing. “You’re beautiful, you know that? Your soul, your heart, you. It’s incredible.” 

Lance chuckled and wrapped his arms around Keith, pushing him back against the bed with his weight. Keith laughed and wrapped his arms around him too, cocooning Lance in his arms. 

They heard a high pitched barking, and they both peeked over the bed where Kosmo was pawing at the covers, barking up at them and pacing. “He can’t jump yet,” Keith explained. “You wanna bring him up here?” 

“Yeah. He won’t bite me will he?” 

“Nah, just don’t move too fast.” Lance nodded and reached out for Kosmo slowly. 

The puppy stopped pacing, instead sniffing at Lance’s hands and debating between walking away or staying put. When Lance grabbed him, Kosmo squirmed a little, trying to bite his hand, but then he stopped when he felt the bed. His tail started wagging and he hopped, like a baby goat along the bed. 

Lance laughed and pet the space beside him for Kosmo to jump over to him. Kosmo eyed him warily, freezing for a split second before spinning in a rapid circle and hopping from Keith toward Lance, falling on his side and pawing at Lance’s leg. 

“He’s so cute, oh my God. How did you find him?” 

“He was by a dumpster. I saw him sniffing around and he didn’t come near me until I coaxed him out. He had a collar, but when I tried to take him to the address there, he freaked out, so I kept him. We went to the vet today so he’s pretty healthy.” Keith reached out to pet Kosmo’s back. Kosmo began to wriggle and writhe among the covers, twisting this way and that. 

Lance put his journal on the bedside table before laying back down beside Keith. Sure enough, Kosmo hopped toward them and plopped down between their chests. Lance pet his head and leaned over to kiss Keith. Within a few seconds, Kosmo was moving and licking at their faces, making them split apart and laugh. 

“Kosmo is never going to let us kiss again, Keith,” Lance said with a laugh as Kosmo rested his head between theirs with a huff. 

Keith hummed and looked at Kosmo curiously. Then Keith shifted to pull himself over Lance, shielding their faces as he leaned down to kiss him. But the kiss was broken by laughter that couldn’t be stifled when Kosmo pounced onto Keith and pawed at his head. 

“Oh God, you’re right,” he laughed into Lance’s neck. 

Keith turned over, laying beside Lance as Kosmo pulled himself onto their chests, licking at their faces in turn. 

“Well, I’m glad he likes me at least,” Lance said as he shut his eyes when Kosmo licked at his face playfully. “I have a lot of homework to catch up on. The weekend flew away.” 

He felt Keith take his hand and squeeze. Kosmo had settled down, fitting himself in the nonexistent space between their bodies, his snout tucked under his tail. Keith began tracing patterns on the back of his hand. 

He turned his head to face him, only to find Keith already looking at him. For some reason, that made heat rush into his cheeks. “You want to come to my place to do it? I left all my stuff, and I have homework to do too. I can try to convince Shiro to make us food. You can spend the night too.”

Lance smiled and pecked his cheek. “That sounds like a plan.”

After a few more moments of procrastinating and recharging by simply laying down together, they decided to head back to Keith's. 

Lance felt better. About Keith, about where they stood, and even about himself. It had been a while since he'd read over his poems. Especially the older ones from when he was in high school. He loved the way Keith reacted to everything as he read, the way he kept his eyes closed because Lance had asked him not to read the others, the way he asked and talked about the poems after hearing them. 

He didn't talk about them the way Lance's workshop groups would, but that was expected. They were writers; Keith was not. But Keith still commented on the content, on the significance, on the parts he liked or that stood out to him. To Lance, that meant just as much. 

He hadn't realized Keith wanted to know all those parts of him. The anxious 16 year old struggling with algebra two, or the son who felt impossibly responsible for his mother's miscarriage, the 14 year old who was terrified of high school and the 17 year old who was afraid of leaving home. But now that Keith knew them, it was somehow that much more incredible that Keith liked him. 

As they remained idle at a stop light, Lance leaned over and kissed Keith's cheek. 

“What was that for?” Keith asked with a smile as his cheeks turned that wonderful shade of red Lance loved to see. 

Lance shrugged. “I really like you. Sometimes I can't believe you like me too. Kissing you randomly is a nice reminder that it's real.” 

There was no answer. Lance looked over at him, alternating between Keith and the road. His expression was the cutest thing Lance had ever seen. Wide eyes, lips slightly parted, rosy cheeks. The surprise was evident in every inch of his face. 

Keith interlocked their hands and chuckled. “You're so fucking cheesy, pretty boy.” Lance laughed as they pulled up to his driveway. When he turned the ignition off, Keith said, “You know, I can't believe it either sometimes. That you like me.” 

Lance smiled at him, and he put a hand against his cheek. “Oh, Keith…. I would kiss you but we both know someone's going to interrupt.” 

Keith laughed aloud, the sound hoarse and lovely. “Yeah, you're right. Come on.” They got out of the car and went inside. Shiro was lounging on the sofa and he arched an eyebrow when he saw Lance walk in. 

“Hey, Lance,” he greeted. “What's up?” 

“We're gonna do homework,” Keith answered. He let Kosmo go and the pup started running all around the house with no particular direction, zipping under tables and over chairs. 

Lance went to the dining table and set his stuff out as he waited on Keith to come back. 

When he did, Keith asked, “Do you mind coming to the backyard with me? I gotta take Kosmo out.” 

“Sure,” he answered, up for anything of it meant procrastinating a little longer. They got through the sliding doors with Kosmo zipping between Keith's legs to run out. 

Lance was staring at the empty scene, and how different it was in comparison to those parties he'd come to. Then his eyes drifted back to Keith who seemed lost in his thoughts. 

Lance grabbed his hand and tilted his head inquisitively when Keith's eyes met his. “You okay, babe?” 

He nodded, but he didn't smile. “Yeah. Just…. Since we're getting the arguments out of the way….” Lance frowned, his eyebrows furrowed together in wary confusion. “I gotta tell you something.” 

“Oh...kay?” Lance shifted and came around to face Keith. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah. It's just. I know you're gonna get mad.” Keith's words were making Lance's stomach twist uncomfortably. “Um. Don't jump to conclusions, okay? It's gonna sound bad, but I swear-” 

“Keith what the hell are you trying to say? You're freaking me out.” 

Keith sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I'm sorry. It's just…. Okay. Friday night when I said I was staying home, I didn't stay because I was trying to see what Shiro thought of you. I stayed because… I got a call and a text from someone who needed help. It was an emergency.” 

“Well…. Why didn't you just tell me that? Who was it? Are they okay?” Lance asked. 

Keith clenched his jaw and looked away. “Because I didn't think you'd want me to help him….” 

Lance stared at Keith uncertainly for a while before it clicked. Keith was watching him, waiting for a reaction. Lance took a deep a breath and lowered his voice. “Was it Roland?” 

“Yeah. But-” 

“Keith, why were you even talking to him, I thought you hated him, you beat him up! What the hell was he doing talking to you, what did he even want from you?” Lance tried to reign his frustration in, but the more the information settled, the more questions popped up.

Like why did Keith wait to tell him? What did he do, and why did he do it if he thought it would upset Lance? Did he even have a right to be upset if they weren’t actually dating anyway?

“He needed a place to stay,” Keith said. Lance’s eyes went wide and Keith visibly slumped. 

“You… you let him stay over? How were you okay with that? How was Shiro?” After the way Shiro reacted to seeing Roland at Keith’s performance, he found it hard to believe they would’ve invited him into the house. 

“He doesn’t know!” Keith snapped. Lance stared, speechless. Too much of the situation was suspicious and wrong. But Keith had told him not to jump to conclusions. 

Lance took a very, very deep breath and rubbed his face with his hands. “You need to explain what the hell happened because right now my head is spinning.” 

Keith sighed and crossed his arms. “Roland called me that night. He said he needed help, that he had no one else to ask.” Lance started to interrupt, ready to say that he must have had plenty of other people besides Keith, and was Keith stupid enough to fall for a line like that, but he held his tongue. Keith gave him a tired look before continuing. “I knew Shiro would lose it if he saw him, so I told him to come around the back to my window.” 

“You… snuck him in… through your window? Like a fifteen year old with a forbidden boyfriend?” 

“Look, I’ve been the fifteen year old with the forbidden boyfriend so don’t even go there,” Keith hissed. Lance’s eyes widened in surprise. There was another one? “Yes, I snuck him in through the window. But…. Look, Lance, yes he’s an asshole, and what he did to me…. It still pisses me off when I think about it too much. But I’m also human. And so is he. And when I saw his face… it was hard not to feel bad for him Lance. And I don’t even know what happened, he didn’t want to talk, he just needed somewhere to stay.” 

“What are you talking about, what was wrong with his face?” And why the fuck is it your problem? 

“He was all beat up. Worse than anything I could’ve done. He couldn’t even open one eye, his clothes were all messed up, he was bleeding. He didn’t want to go to a hospital, and he was scared to go to anyone else because they’d ask questions.” 

“Why didn’t you?” Lance shouted.

Keith groaned and turned away. “I don’t know, Lance! Because it’s not my place. Because all I saw was someone who needed help, and I couldn’t turn him away and be okay with myself about it. I get what it’s like not to want to answer questions.” He turned back around and kicked at the ground. Kosmo had come back to dash between their legs. “All I did was try to fix what I could of his wounds and give him a place to sleep.” 

“Did he sleep with you?” 

“I’m not even sure in what sense you mean that, but no!” Keith glared at Lance, as if he had been the one harboring an ex. “He slept in my bed and I slept on my floor. He didn’t make any moves.” Keith stepped forward, reaching for Lance’s hands. “I told you it would sound really bad. And I know that. Sneaking him in, helping him, letting him sleep in my room. But nothing happened.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me this that night?” 

“I didn’t think you’d want me to help. I figured you didn’t need to know. Nothing was going happen, we’re not dating, so there was no reason to tell you.” Lance clenched his jaw and tilted his head to look at the sky. “I still wanted to tell you, though. Then…. Veronica came over, and I met her, and then you and me argued, and then we made up and you read me those poems and we talked and…. It just never seemed to be a good time.” Keith sighed and grabbed Lance’s chin with one hand to tilt his face, making Lance look at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I hid it from you.” 

The longer those violet eyes looked at him, the more Lance felt his resolve breaking. He sighed and touched Keith’s face lightly. “I wouldn’t have stopped you, you know? I wouldn’t have been happy. I probably would’ve gotten angry. But I wouldn’t have tried to tell you what to do. I know that’s not my place.” A small smile pulled at Keith’s lips. “Nothing happened?” 

Keith shook his head. Then he stopped abruptly, making Lance’s heart sink. “Actually he asked about you. He said he was happy someone was doing things right with me.” Lance arched an eyebrow, feeling relief flood through his body. “I don’t know how genuine that was, but yeah.” Lance snorted and shook his head. “So… are you still pissed at me?” 

Lance looked at him. His kind eyes, the nervous way he bit his lower lip, the way his hair fell in front of his eyes, the way the cold made the tip of his nose pink. He was beautiful. His heart was beautiful. It took a person with a big heart to be able to help someone who hurt them. Lance figured that said a lot of good things about Keith, no matter how much the situation frustrated him. Besides, Keith did tell him. Even though Lance would’ve probably never found out unless Roland said it to him or something, Keith decided to tell him the truth. That was also worth something. 

He tugged on a strand of hair that had fallen over the bridge of his nose. “Promise to tell me the next time you decide to sneak a guy in your window?”

Keith laughed and leaned forward to kiss him lightly. “I doubt it’ll ever happen again, but I promise.” 

“Okay,” Lance with a smile before he kissed him back, keeping him close. Kosmo was already jumping at their legs. He pulled back and looked at Keith curiously. “Um, so…. About that forbidden boyfriend?” 

Keith tensed and his smile became forced. “Another day, yeah?” 

Lance bit his lip and nodded, taking Keith into his arms instead. Whatever the case, Lance knew Keith didn’t have a good past with relationships. That was different now. Lance was different. He wouldn’t hide Keith, wouldn’t leave him, wouldn’t try to control him the way Keith seemed to unconsciously fear. Lance wondered if Keith even picked up on that in his own words. 

“No more arguments for the next four months,” Lance grumbled into Keith’s neck. 

“Why four?” Keith asked with a laugh, leading him back inside with Kosmo at their heels.

He shrugged and interlocked their hands. “I dunno, it was the first number I thought of.”

Before opening the sliding door, Keith regarded him with a strangely guarded expression. “You really think we'll still be with each other in four months?” 

“Of course I do.” Keith chuckled in a way an adult might when a 5 year old says they're going to marry their babysitter. Lance tugged him back and tilted his head. “You don't?” 

Keith's eyes widened as he blushed. “No, no, no don't take it that way,” he said hurriedly. “I just… haven't thought that far. I don't want to because then I'll have these hopes and plans and… I won't know what to do if….” 

“If things go wrong,” Lance finished. Keith shrugged and looked down. “Well… we've known each other for over a month. And these past few weeks with you have been amazing. I definitely see us reaching way past four months.” He tilted Keith's face up, surprised to find his eyes red and his jaw clenched so hard he could feel the tension just from where his fingers rested on his chin. “As long as we keep doing what we've been doing. Being honest and open and patient. Yeah?” 

A huff came out of Keith's nose as he blinked rapidly and nodded. “Let's take it all as it comes, okay?” His voice was low, measured. He pressed a kiss to Lance's cheek and gestured to the sliding door. “Come on. We've got homework.” 

Lance followed him inside without another word. He noticed Shiro glance over at them with a mix of curiosity and protectiveness. When his eyes caught their interlocked hands, he seemed to relax.

For a few hours, Keith and Lance went back and forth between actual homework and distractions. Then Shiro made some easy bake ribs and sat to eat with them. Lance wondered where Adam was, but he still felt like the whole dynamic between himself and Shiro was relatively new, so he didn't ask. 

Lance still had a lot of work to do after putting it off all week, and he knew Pidge would be berating him about it if she knew. Keith offered to stay up with him, but Lance knew he had early rehearsals, so he assured him it was fine. 

By midnight, Lance only had Kosmo for company and Keith was asleep on the couch, refusing to go to bed until he knew Lance would be too. Lance sat at the table, tapping his pencil against his reading with increasing indifference towards it. 

His mind drifted to Keith instead. To all those obvious leftover wounds and the resilience he embodied. Part of him wondered if he should have been offended at the fact that Keith still didn't think Lance would stick around, but that emotion just didn't register in him. Not after everything he knew about Keith. He couldn't hold it against him that he was still cautious. It wasn't like they'd been together that long as it was. 

From where he sat, he could see Keith's sleeping figure on the couch, with Kosmo curled up on the floor beside him. Snippets of phrases danced through Lance's head. He pressed his pencil to the white space on this reading, staring, thinking, words just out of reach. 

Then he sighed and put his pencil down. 

He couldn't do it. 

Instead, he gathered his things and packed them back into his backpack. He walked over to Keith, murmuring his name softly. Keith was a light sleeper, and it was easy to startle him when he was asleep, so Lance had to be careful. 

“ Principe… cariño, wake up.” Keith furrowed his eyebrows and opened his eyes, dazedly. “Let's get to bed, babe.” 

Keith pulled himself up to sit and ran his hand through his hair. “Did you finish your work?” Lance smiled and nodded. “Mkay,” he said with a yawn. He took Lance's hand and scooped Kosmo up, despite his squirming.

Lance didn't even have to ask to know he wasn't going to be the little spoon that night. Kosmo had immediately taken the spot the second Keith laid down, a little furry spiral tucked against Keith's chest.

“You're lucky you're cute,” Lance said with a smile as Keith almost immediately fell back asleep. Sleepy Keith was one of the cutest things Lance had seen and paired with a tiny, clingy puppy, it was almost too much for him. 

He laid down beside Keith, wrapping his arms around him. Without missing a beat, Keith legs intertwined with Lance's and he took Lance's hand, tucking it into his chest so Lance could feel his heartbeat and the furry warmth of Kosmo’s body. 

Lance chuckled and skimmed his lips along Keith's cheek. “Even as the little spoon, you're a koala, babe.” Keith only hummed, probably not even conscious of Lance's words. Lance kissed his cheekbone and rested against the pillow with a tired sigh, holding Keith tightly. 

“I'm not going anywhere,” he whispered before finally letting himself shut his eyes. “You'll see.” 

***

The next morning, Lance woke up to Kosmo pouncing onto his stomach. He heard Keith chiding him in a whisper-shout, but it was too late. 

“What time is it?” Lance asked mid-yawn. 

“Early. Go back to sleep.” Lance grumbled and pulled himself up onto his elbows. “You don’t have to wake up, pretty boy. Kosmo just got excited because I’m taking him out before I leave.” 

“But I want a kiss goodbye,” he complained.

Keith laughed and leaned forward to kiss him lightly. “I’ll be right back okay? You want me to bring Kosmo back to sleep with you until you leave? You’ll just have to take him to the backyard before you leave so he has space to run around with his toys.” 

Lance nodded. “I can do that.” Keith nodded and scooped Kosmo up, heading out the door. He was gone for a while, with Lance forcing himself to stay awake. He could hear Kosmo barking from the window and Keith calling for him to come back inside. When they got back to the room, Keith placed Kosmo on the bed, and Lance patted the space beside him. “Come here, boy. Come on, Kosmo.” 

Kosmo leapt toward Lance, stumbling over the blankets and falling on his face, bumping into Lance’s torso. Keith laughed at that and watched as Kosmo sniffed at Lance and sat beside him, his tail wagging excitedly. He walked toward the bed and ran his hand through Lance’s hair, making him sigh. “Let me know when you get to class, okay? I’ll see you later.” He leaned down to kiss him, and to neither of their surprise, Kosmo started nipping at their faces. Keith chuckled and pet his head before standing upright. “Be a good boy, Kosmo. Keep Lance safe.” Lance snorted at that. Keith smiled and walked out of the room. 

Lance wrapped his arm around Kosmo and pulled him closer. “You’re warm, you know?” Kosmo licked at his face. Lance laughed sleepily, petting Kosmo absentmindedly. His fingers came across a few strange patches. Frowning, he used the light from his phone to check the puppy.

There were healed scars that interrupted his fur in a few places on his back. A few more on his hind legs. Lance’s eyes fell to the wrap that was around one of his legs and he scowled. “What’d they do you, buddy?” 

Unaware, Kosmo only wagged his tail and sniffed at Lance some more. He was so small and so cute, Lance couldn’t fathom someone heartless enough to hurt him. Especially to the point of scarring him or messing his leg up. Lance hugged him a little tighter and scratched behind one of Kosmo’s floppy ears. 

“You know, you’re lucky you found Keith. Probably the best human to have come across.” Kosmo’s head tilted to nibble at Lance’s hand with playful gentleness. “He’s pretty good at fixing up damaged things, you know. And he’s got a big heart.” Kosmo stilled when he managed a decent grip on Lance’s hand. “Silly pup. Come on, go to sleep for a few more hours, yeah?” 

Kosmo licked at his hand and Lance chuckled before pulling the covers up to fall asleep. 

When he had to wake up a few hours later, he got dressed and picked Kosmo up to take him outside. When he got back inside, he saw Shiro eating a bowl of cereal on the couch. 

“Oh. Hi.” 

Shiro smirked and waved, chewing through his cereal before answering. “You can relax, I'm not going to rip your throat out for spending the night.” Lance laughed awkwardly. He hadn’t really thought this through. It completely slipped his mind that Shiro would still be home when Keith was gone. “You can help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen,” Shiro offered. 

“Oh, I’m alright. I don’t like eating breakfast during the week.” Shiro raised an eyebrow and chewed more cereal. “It just- It makes me nauseous. If I eat too early or… too- I don’t know I just end up waiting for lunch anyway.” 

Shiro laughed and shrugged. “You do you, man. Why did you leave Kosmo outside?” 

“Keith said to. He said he could run around there until he got back.” Lance scratched his head nervously, poking at the floor with his toes. 

Shiro set his bowl down on the center table and looked over at Lance, the amusement clear on his face. “You scared of me or something?” 

“Wh- no!” he shouted. Shiro’s eyebrows went up and Lance recoiled. “I mean- wait- it’s….” He sighed and gave him a shrug. “I’m not… scared of you. I just don’t… want to do anything to make you not like me. And sorry if I can’t get over the first impression I got of you where you were ready to wring me dry and throw me out of the house with a punt kick.” 

Shiro laughed and gestured to Lance. “Well, my first impression of you was you walking out of my little brother’s room with this cocky smile after-”

“Oh my God, oh my God, okay!” Lance blushed and wished he hadn’t said anything to begin with. But Shiro only chuckled with a genuine smile and a playful gleam in his eyes. 

“Look, dude. I’m not dumb. Keith’s an adult, he can make his own choices. I’m not under the naive impression that you two aren’t… y’know.” Lance groaned. “As long as you don’t break his heart, we’ll be good.” Shiro gave him a wide, cheeky smile. With a nervous nod, Lance started to walk across the living room to the hallway. Then Shiro’s voice stopped him, this time more hesitant. “And Lance….” He turned to look at him. The smugness was gone. He looked like he was debating whether he wanted to talk. “I don’t want to interfere with Keith’s relationships, and I don’t want to be the overbearing brother, but….” He let out a sigh and shrugged. “Be patient with him…. Please. The guys he’s been with before really fucked him over and messed with his head, so… he can be easy to….” 

Lance chewed his lower lip and nodded. “Easy to scare off?” 

“Something like that.” 

Lance nodded. “Yeah. I know. I mean, not everything, but… he’s told me some of it. Honestly I think he’s the one that should be more patient with me.” He laughed humorlessly as he thought of the surprise and confusion he felt when Keith got upset with him. “Things can kind of… pass over my head sometimes.” He shrugged again and met Shiro’s eyes. “But I have a good feeling about him.” 

He smiled back at Lance and nodded. “Good. I think he has a good feeling about you too.” The comment made Lance blush. He stood there for a moment, not really sure what to say. After a moment, Shiro laughed and gestured to the hall. “You can go now.” 

“Oh, thank God,” Lance breathed out. He dashed for the hall to get back to Keith's room. 

He noticed Stitch propped up in a corner. Just above was the corkboard of little mementos- movie tickets, wristbands, concert tickets… and a strip of photos from their day at the carnival. Lance smiled to himself and pulled them free of the wooden edge they were tucked into. He noticed something written on the back. 

Oct 19, 2018- second date w/ Lance, fav part: the way he kissed me in public

Lance felt his face heat up and his heart pound ridiculously fast in his chest. He wished Keith were there next to him just so he could tackle him into a kiss. Lance looked over the corkboard, tucking the photos back in place. Sure enough, he saw the ticket stub from when they’d gone to see Bohemian Rhapsody. He unpinned it and turned it around. 

Oct 13, 2018- first date ever-nervous as hell, fav part: the guy made me laugh a lot… and the word “when” 

Lance furrowed his eyebrows, not sure what that last part meant. But the little notes on the back were a little peek into Keith’s side of things, and it warmed Lance’s heart to see the way Keith treated these things. 

He wondered if he could get Keith to tell him what the rest of these things were memories of. Part of him wanted to flip all the tickets and wristbands over, but he knew that would be similar to Keith grabbing his journals and paging through them. So instead, he pinned the movie tickets back in place and turned to get dressed before he was late for his first class. 

Even as he was driving to campus, Lance felt like he’d been thrown for a loop after reading those notes. He felt like a marshmallow in human form. His heart would speed up with just the thought of Keith. Imagining him sitting to write those out, imagining him pinning them up… smiling at them when he saw them. 

He felt like a schoolkid with a crush, unable to focus in class and wanting to see him. It was one of the downsides of being at two separate college campuses. But that was fine because he’d have a chance to see Keith when he went to visit him after his dance practice. And he’d scoop him into his arms and kiss him, probably embarrassing him in front of the rest of the dancers, but that was fine, because Keith had never complained about it. He’d just laugh and blush and playfully shove Lance away before pulling him back with intertwined hands. 

God he was so completely enraptured by this guy. 

Time refused to hurry up. It felt like time had slowed down exponentially by the time Lance was through with his last class. He didn’t think Keith would answer a text since he was probably mid-rehearsal at the moment, so he figured they could eat together once Keith was out of rehearsal. He’d probably be thirsty though, so Lance picked up a bottle of iced green tea that Keith liked. 

When he reached the rehearsal space, he could hear the heavy bass of whatever song they were playing. He could hear laughter and singing. Lance opened the door and saw a bunch of the dancers in a circle, dancing to some song he’d heard on the radio on the way there. It didn’t seem to be part of their routine. 

Colleen was watching with amusement, and she waved when she saw Lance. He waved back with a bright smile and searched for Keith. 

He was standing against the wall, watching, but not watching. His eyes were fixed on the circle, but unmoving, not non-reactive. Like he was looking through them. 

Lance walked toward him, and only when Lance obstructed his view, did Keith react. “Hey, pretty boy,” he greeted, a small smile tugging at his lips. His eyes fell to the tea in Lance’s hand. “Oh thank God, I’m fucking thirsty.” 

Lance laughed and handed him the tea. “What’s up with the circle?” 

“They’re cooling off. Rehearsal’s done.” 

“And you’re not joining them? You okay, you seemed kind of out of it.” Keith hesitated, his eyes flitting away. Lance knew that habit. It was what he did when he didn’t want to talk about something. “Babe?” There had been too many revealed secrets over the weekend for a new one not to send Lance into a panic. 

“I’m okay. Just… worried.” 

“Worried? About-” Lance broke off, recalling their weekend confessions. He looked back at the group, eyes searching for that vaguely familiar head of dirty blond hair with a beanie. Lance had seen him at these rehearsals often enough to pick up on the style of clothes he used when rehearsing. 

Except he couldn’t find him. Lance returned his gaze to Keith. His face was red, his eyes on the floor. Lance noticed the clench of his jaw. 

“Roland didn’t come?” Keith’s eyes skirted along the floor. A slight shake of his head. Again, it was like he was waiting to be reprimanded. “And you’re worried about him.” There was a twitch in his cheek. 

Granted, there was a small part of Lance that felt aggravated. He didn’t understand how Keith could still care or worry about someone who had screwed him over the way Roland had. Simply recalling the things Keith had told him he said made Lance furious. But here was Keith, distracted, concerned, even guilty because of Roland. 

But the logical side of Lance, the side that knew Keith well and understood why he’d snuck the guy into his room even if he didn’t like the idea…. That part of him understood. And that part of him wanted to make sure Keith didn’t feel afraid to voice his concern. 

“We can look for him if you want,” Lance offered. 

Keith’s eyes widened, finally meeting Lance’s. “What?” Lance raised his eyebrows. “You… you’re not…?” 

“Mad?” Lance finished. He laughed and shook his head. “Keith, I’m not going to get angry with you for being a good person. Here, I know Hunk has him for class, I can ask if he’s seen him or knows anyone who has.” He pulled out his phone and sent Hunk a text. Keith stared at him, incredulous. 

“He hasn’t answered any texts. I dropped him off at a hotel, we should see if he’s still checked in there.” Lance nodded. “Are you… are you sure you’re okay with this?” 

Lance sighed and took Keith’s free hand. “ Principe. I know you’re worried. I’m not gonna let you freak out alone. Besides, it’ll be easier to look with a car. And Hunk and Pidge can help; they know him.” He tugged at Keith’s oversized shirt. “You want to go change first?” 

Keith nodded and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah. I’ll be right back.” He pressed a kiss to Lance’s cheek then hurried out the door. It wasn’t how Lance had expected to spend the evening, but even he had to admit it was concerning the way Roland had disappeared off the face of the earth.

A message from Hunk came in. 

He wasn’t in class. His group says he wasn’t responding to texts either. Everything okay?

Shit. 

Chapter Text

It was hard to think. There were too many things to think about, all with their own trails of side thoughts. Keith tried to narrow his focus to the act of removing his dance clothes in favor of the clothes he’d worn all day, but the thoughts kept running like a minimized video tab. 

Where the hell was Roland? Just how much trouble had he gotten into if he just disappeared? Why did he feel so bad for caring about what happened to him? Why was Lance being so… nice about it? Even Keith was annoyed with himself for worrying so much about Roland, and here was Lance offering to help and it just…. It was all very confusing. 

Keith got out of his stall and went to the sink, pushing his hair back as he splashed water on his face to tether himself to reality. He let out a frustrated sigh and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Disheveled and frantic. Over Roland’s disappearance? Over Lance’s unexpected reactions? Who fucking knew anymore?

He dried his face with the horribly rough paper towels the campus offered then started for the door. The sight of it made him freeze. The very same spot where Roland had cornered him, used the same harmful words that terrorized Keith’s mind every day, however quiet or loud they might be depending on the day. The very spot they’d started fighting. Roland had called him a psychopath. 

Even so, Keith couldn’t muster up the indifference he partially wished he felt.

He left the bathroom and got back to their rehearsal room. Most of them were leaving, a couple stayed behind to keep listening to music and talk or stretch. Colleen was already gone. Lance was still in the same spot he’d left him, only now Alexa was beside him. 

Lance looked worried. As soon as Keith was within hearing range, Lance said, “Hunk and Pidge haven’t seen him on campus today. Hunk says he hasn’t contacted his group in class.” 

“What’s the big deal? He’s probably just playing hookie. He’s not really known for being responsible. That’s why you ended up as captain,” Alexa told Keith. 

Keith sighed and shook his head. “He was really messed up the last time I saw him. He didn’t want to go home or to any of his friends’ places. I don’t know who left him that way, but if he’s gone M.I.A since, that’s…. I just have a bad feeling.” 

“So… you’re gonna go looking for your ex-boyfriend with your new boyfriend,” Alexa said, looking between them. “This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Can I join?” 

Keith felt his face heat up, but he decided not to comment. “This isn’t a joke, Alexa.” 

She raised her hands in mock-surrender. “Sorry. But seriously, another pair of eyes could help.” 

Lance shrugged. “My car has space. Hunk and Pidge said they were going to the bookstore to study and they’d keep an eye out too. Pidge is also asking his friends if they’ve heard from him with a pretense of having him for a homework group.” 

“I can ask his girlfriend,” Alexa offered, pulling out her phone.

“Okay. Let’s check out the hotel. I swear to God if he just slept in, I’ll wring his damn neck.” He took Lance’s hand and they left the room. When they got to the car, Alexa slid into the backseat, asking for the aux cord as Keith pulled up the directions to the hotel for Lance to drive. 

“You mind putting on your seat belt? I get nervous about that,” Lance said, connecting the car Bluetooth to her phone. Keith glanced at the backseat and saw her sitting with her back to the car door, legs splayed across the seat. She grumbled and moved to sit behind the passenger seat properly as a some alternative indie song started playing. 

Keith tried calling Roland’s phone again as Lance started driving, but it went right to voicemail. “I don’t think he has any battery. It’s sending me straight to voicemail.” 

“Or he blocked your number,” Alexa said. “Aren’t you guys like enemies after the break up?” 

“It wasn’t-! Never mind. He didn’t block it,” Keith snapped. 

Lance looked over at him. “I thought you said you guys weren’t public.” 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows as that sunk in. He turned around to face Alexa. “How did you know about me and Roland?” 

Alexa looked up with wide eyes, feigning innocence, and Keith had half a mind to kick her out of the car right there. She shrugged. “I’ve been in dance a while. I saw how dopey you got around him when you brought him into the group. Then I noticed the very obvious cold shoulder you started giving each other. And since then, I’ve noticed the way he looks like a kicked puppy around you.” 

Confusion swept over Keith, but he didn’t know how to voice it, so he just stared at her. He managed to condense it into a single word. “What?” 

She sighed and leaned forward. “It’s easy to figure out what happened between you two.” She lifted her phone. “Also, his girlfriend is apparently not even his girlfriend anymore. They broke it off a few weeks ago.”

Keith frowned. Roland hadn’t said anything when Keith brought her up the night he stayed. He turned back around in his seat and stared out the window. No one spoke until Lance had pulled into a parking spot at the hotel. 

Fighting the urge to avoid eye contact with Lance like he found himself doing earlier, Keith looked over at him to gauge his reaction to everything. He looked more serious than he usually did, but if he was angry or annoyed he wasn’t showing it. If he was rubbed the wrong way by Alexa’s little recap, he didn’t look it. Honestly, it made Keith nervous. 

“Do you know his room number?” Lance asked as they got off. 

Keith shook his head. “No. I just dropped him off.” 

“So for all we know, he could have walked in, waited for you to leave, then dipped,” Alexa said. 

“You’re not helping,” Keith said through gritted teeth. Alexa shrugged and followed them into the lobby. Lance gestured to the front desk. Keith sighed and walked up. A girl with tight bun of blonde hair and sharp cheekbones greeted him. “Um hi. I’m looking for someone who came to stay here over the weekend.” 

“Do you know their room number? I can direct you to where the room is,” she said. 

“No. No, I don’t. I know their name though-”

“I’m so sorry, sir, but I’m not allowed to divulge information on guests. If you know them personally, they can come get you or tell you their room number-”

“Yeah, I’ve tried contacting them, they’re not answering, that’s why I’m looking for them,” Keith snapped. The receptionist’s smile became a bit forced.

Keith felt a hand at his shoulder, squeezing gently. “Easy,” he heard Lance murmur. “Hi. I’m sorry, we’re just all a little worried. We haven’t seen our friend in a while, and we’re scared he might be in danger. I know you can’t give us information, but what can you do if we know his name?” 

She eyed them warily, like she didn’t trust them. “I can’t tell you names, room number, check in, or check out information.” 

“He didn’t ask what you couldn’t do he-”

“Keith,” Lance interrupted. Keith scoffed and clenched his fists. “Okay. Would you be able to tell us if he was here at all? No room number or phone or other information, just so we know if we’re in the right place?”

She hesitated before nodding. “I think so. But I can’t give you more information than that.” 

“That’s okay! We really appreciate it. His name is Roland.” 

The receptionist raised an eyebrow, waiting for the rest. Keith stammered and finished for him. “Roland Norman. If he checked in with his full name, it’s Roland Leonel Norman.” 

She typed and nodded. “Well, you’re in the right place.” 

“So.” Keith was slightly startled by Alexa coming up on his other side to lean against the counter. The receptionist looked like she was close to breaking her smiley front now faced with a third person. “You can’t give us information on him, but does that mean you can’t call up to his room to let him know we’re here? We don’t have any other way to contact him, and I don’t think it would be helpful to anyone if we just started knocking on all the room doors.” Alexa laughed, playing a small threat off as a joke. 

The receptionist’s smile was tight-lipped and a flush had made its way to her cheeks. Keith sighed and shut his eyes. “Miss, he’s been missing for a few days. We’re just worried. Could you call up to his room and tell him we’re waiting down here for him?”

She didn’t say anything. She just sighed and grabbed the black phone on the desk. Keith waited with bated breath before the receptionist hung up. “I’m sorry. There’s no answer.” 

“Okay. Um. Then whenever he comes back, could you just….” Keith grabbed a hotel business card and a pen from a cup on the counter. He wrote his number down and the words call me asap -K. “Give him this if he comes back? Please?” 

She took the card and nodded. “Sure thing.” 

“Thank you.” Keith turned away and the three of them started for Lance's car. 

Once they were buckled in again, Lance looked over at Keith with an arched eyebrow. “You're not happy.” 

Keith grimaced, staring at the dash and shrugged. “What if he hasn't been back to his room all weekend?” 

“Well, what else can we do?” Alexa asked, leaning forward to rest on the back of the passenger seat. “It's not like we can go check his house to see if he's gone there.” Keith raised an eyebrow. “Oh shit.” 

Lance let out a breath and turned the car on. “You know where his place is?” 

The discomfort in his voice made Keith cringe and panic. He didn't want to push his limits. They'd just gotten past two arguments over the weekend, he didn't want another. 

“Babe?” 

Keith looked back at him nervously. “You know what, it's okay. We can just wait to see if he calls me back or not.” Lance kept his gaze steady on him, uncertain and quiet. “Really, it's fine. Let's go back to campus so Alexa can get her car and I can get my bike.” 

Keith rubbed his face, hoping to wipe away the anxiety he could feel permeating his skin. Alexa gave his shoulder a quick squeeze before sitting back. Lance started driving. Keith tried to take a normal breath. 

When they got to campus, Alexa got out of the car and leaned down to talk to them before shutting the door. “I'll keep an ear out for any news from his friends. Let me know if you guys hear anything.” They nodded and then she turned her attention to Lance. “Nice hanging out with you. Maybe we can try again under less stressful circumstances.” She turned to Keith and winked. “He's a keeper.” 

Keith couldn't help but laugh. At the comment, at the way his own face heated up, at the way it sparked butterflies in his stomach, at the way it made things normal for a split second. 

“Bye, Alexa.” 

She waved and shut the door, heading for her own car.

“ Principe , why don't we get you some food before you get your bike? At least to go.” 

Keith shook his head. “Not hungry.” His stomach tightened in retaliation. “I have to feed Kosmo too, I should just get home.” He leaned forward to kiss Lance softly. Then he turned away to open the door, only to hear the lock click in place. A wave of panic swept over him for a split second before he remembered he was with Lance. Lance wouldn’t do anything to him. He turned to face those striking blue eyes with an annoyed scowl. “Lance, what the hell?” 

“Keith.” He arched an eyebrow in response and Lance tilted his head. Lance took a breath and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. 

“Lance, what?” Keith asked, getting more agitated by the second. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just- I’ve got a bunch of questions and I don’t know which one to ask first.” He let out a huff and then looked at Keith. “Part of me feels like if I let you go, you’re going to end up heading over to Roland’s place anyway. Am I right?” Keith stared at him wordlessly. “We said we’d be honest, Keith.” 

“I don’t know,” he answered. “I… I want to, but I don’t know if I should. Or I guess, I feel like I shouldn’t want to so I won’t, but I do want to so I might. Does that make sense?” 

Lance stared at the horn of his steering wheel. It was so rare that Lance had a solemn expression like the one he had now, that Keith couldn’t help but think of some carefully chiseled statue of mourning seeing him sitting there quietly. The sharp jawline, the long slanted down lashes the way the lowering sun accented the blue of his eyes, the smooth curve on the bridge of his nose and the high cheekbones that caught the shadows just right. He was so beautiful, it left Keith breathless when he stopped to really notice. 

“I’m gonna ask you something, and I want… I need you to be totally honest. Don’t spare my feelings, just, total honesty-”

“Lance, what the fuck?” Keith asked, short of breath as panic squeezed his chest. 

“Do you still like him?” 

It took a couple seconds for the question to fully register partially because Keith couldn’t connect the emotion of liking someone to anyone who wasn’t Lance, and partially because trying to associate Roland to the question felt bizarre. 

“No,” he answered resolutely. He narrowed his eyebrows when Lance looked at him dubiously. “Lance, I don’t like him anymore. I haven’t in a long time, okay?”

“Then why are you so jittery?” he snapped. “You don’t want to admit how freaked out you are, it’s like you’re hiding something, I just-” He tightened his grip on the steering wheel before letting it go and letting his hands drop in his lap. “Are you scared of me or something?” 

“What? No. No, Lance, not at all.” He hesitated for a second before reaching for his hand. He held it between both of his own tightly. “I’m scared of making you upset. Getting upset leads to fights and I don’t like fighting with you. I feel like I shouldn’t be so freaked out about this whole thing, and I… I’m scared that my being worried will make you mad or make you think I still like him like you just said you thought. And if I make you angry too often then….” He shrugged. 

A gentle hand tilted his face back up. “Keith… you shouldn’t be afraid of making me mad. I mean yeah, I’m a little uncomfortable with how Alexa brought it up or realizing that you know where he lives because you guys had a past, but…. Keith the guy is missing. You’d be heartless not to care. And I get that.” Lance stroked his cheeks with gentle fingertips. “So if you want to go to his house and check off all our bases, tell me that. We can go together, or you can tell me you want to go alone.”

For a moment, Keith couldn't breathe. This was unreal. Lance was unreal. Except he was right in front him. Right there with his worried eyes, the discomfort in the furrow between his eyebrows but honesty and affection in his eyes. 

No one had ever looked at Keith that way before. 

He swallowed and nodded. “Okay. Yeah. Let's go to be sure he's not there.” 

Lance nodded and pulled Keith's hands to his lips. “Okay. Just tell me where to go.” Lance shifted gears to start driving, keeping one hand in Keith's as he started guiding him. 

When they reached the house, Keith felt a wave of bittersweet nostalgia course through him. He remembered sneaking around the side of the house or stopping by two houses short to pick Roland up with his motorcycle. It was such a different time but at the same time it didn't feel so long ago. 

“Come on,” Keith murmured. They got out of the car and started for the front door.

“Is this his parents’ house?” 

Keith nodded. “Easier to live here. I'm campus housing is too expensive and he said it was closer to the school than other off campus housing.” Lance nodded and followed behind Keith as they went up to the door. Keith knocked a few times before stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

The door opened slightly, and a little boy peaked between the crack. “Can I help you?” he asked, sounding like he was getting over a cold. 

Keith smiled at the kid. He couldn't remember his name, but he knew he was Roland’s little brother. He'd met him once but only briefly when he tried following Roland one day that Keith came to pick him up, and Roland had to give him five bucks to go back and ten bucks not to say anything about the guy on the motorcycle. “Hey. Is your brother here?” 

The boy frowned and opened the door a little wider, looking back and forth between Keith and Lance. “Rolo?” 

Keith nodded, but then the boy jumped as another voice came from somewhere in the house. “Benny, why are you at the door?” The door opened wider as Benny was pulled back from view, replaced by a tall man with a striking resemblance to Roland only older with shorter, darker hair. His eyes fixed on Keith. “Who are you?” 

“Oh, I’m Keith. I’m friends with Roland, and I was-”

“Keith?” The way he repeated the name made Keith’s tense. There was venom seeping into his voice, and Keith could see the change in his face. “ You. You’ve got some nerve coming here.” Before he could back up, the man had him by the front of his shirt. 

Keith pulled Lance behind him before he could interfere. “Get your hands off of him,” he growled. Keith took his hand, squeezing it lightly to calm him down. 

“I have nothing to say to you,” Roland’s father said. “Get the fuck off my property or I’ll grab my gun. I have every right-”

“Then let me go so I can leave,” Keith answered, his voice low and steady. The man gave him one more once over, face coated in disgust before shoving Keith back. Thankfully, Lance was right behind him to stable him. “Come on,” he said, tugging Lance along with him.

They hurried back to the car wordlessly. Lance drove off, with Roland’s father staring after them until they were out of sight. As soon as Lance got to the second stop sign, he parked the car on the curb and turned to Keith, his hands cupping his face. 

“Are you okay?”

Keith scoffed and nodded. “I’m fine, pretty boy. It’s okay. Good thing you came with me, huh?” he joked. But Lance didn’t even smile.

“How did he know you? Why did he-?”

“I don’t know,” Keith interrupted. “I’ve never met him. Let’s just….” He sighed, and pulled Lance’s hands away from his face. “I should get home to Kosmo. You’re welcome to come over.”

Lance nodded, still solemn. “We’re also getting you food. I’m starving, so I know you are too.” Keith nearly protested again, but his stomach growled and shut him up. 

They got back to campus so Keith could get his motorcycle. Lance offered to pick up the food and meet him at his house. He kept checking his phone, anticipating a call. It hadn’t even been an hour since they stopped at the hotel. As soon as Keith was inside, he opened the sliding door to the backyard and called for Kosmo. 

The puppy ran at him, immediately jumping at his legs and yipping. “Kosmo, you have a bad legs, don’t do that,” Keith chided with a smile as he picked him up. “You hungry?” Kosmo started licking at his face and Keith felt a little of the pressure and worries of the day ease up. There was something so comforting about Kosmo and how carefree he seemed. “Yeah, I missed you too, buddy.” 

About ten minutes later, after Kosmo had scarfed down his food, there was a knock on the door. Kosmo started barking at the door, his tail wagging rapidly. Keith had to pick him up to keep him from zipping out the door when he opened the door. The smell of the food in Lance’s hands hit Keith immediately, and his mouth started watering. 

Keith expected a kiss on the cheek like Lance always gave him when he greeted him. Instead, Lance started petting Kosmo. “Hey buddy! Did you miss me? Somehow you’re cuter than when I left this morning.” Lance looked back at Keith. “Any news by the way?” 

Keith shook his head. “No calls. No texts. And you didn’t give me a kiss.” 

“Wh- Oh!” Lance leaned into him as he shut the door with his foot, but Keith turned away, smirking.

“Nah, I don’t want it anymore.” 

“ Keith!” Keith laughed at the pleading tone of his voice. “I brought you food,” he added in a sing-song. 

He bit his lip, looking at Lance’s cocky little smirk. With a roll of his eyes, Keith shrugged. “Okay, okay.” Lance grinned wider and pulled him into a kiss, and whether it was dizzying because it was Lance or because he was hungry, Keith wasn’t sure. But it was wonderful. 

Lance nipped at his lower lip playfully before pulling away. He lifted the Taco Cabana bag. “Come on, let’s eat before the food gets cold. Where’s Shiro? I brought him a plate too.” 

Cute, cute, cute. “He doesn’t get home for about another hour. I’ll put it in the microwave for him.”

The way Lance ate was almost amusing. He ate much faster than Keith, even if he was talking. But Keith noticed he ate in sections. He scoop up a spoon of rice, then a spoon of beans, take two bites from his tacos, and repeat the process. After about four of those, he’d reach for his drink. Keith wondered if he even noticed it. 

“What?” Lance asked when he was close to finishing, and Keith was still halfway. 

Keith shrugged and smiled. “Nothing.” Lance narrowed his eyes. “You only have one dimple. And sometimes it’ll show while you talk. Because you kind of smile while you talk. It’s cute.” Lance’s expression changed, not quite sad, but the smile was gone. “What? What’d I say?” 

The corner of Lance’s mouth quirked up. “Nothing, babe. I just always get thrown for a loop when you mention my dimple.” 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows. “Why?” 

“I don’t-” He cut himself off and shook his head, smiling. “It’s hard to explain. But I think it’s cute that you pay that much attention.” Keith blushed and lowered his gaze to his food, a small smiling tugging at his lips. 

Lance got up to throw his trash away stopping to press a kiss on the crown of Keith’s head. Blushing further, Keith curled into himself and poked at his food. 

Before Lance could sit down, Keith heard a buzzing sound. He looked over at Lance’s phone, lighting up with Pidge’s picture. “Lance, your phone.” He grabbed it and held it out for Lance as he returned to grab it and answer. 

“Hey, what’s up? Wait, what?” Lance grabbed Keith’s shoulder. “No yeah, we’ll be over in a bit. Tell him not to go anywhere.” He hung up and pulled out his keys. “Pidge and Hunk found Roland at the Starbucks by the library they study at.” 

“Is he okay?” Keith asked as he stood to follow. 

“Yeah, I think. Pidge just said he looks beat up, but you already said that. They’re with him right now. Come on, you can bring Kosmo.” 

Keith nodded and put the leash on Kosmo before following Lance back out to his car. He sent Shiro a text as Kosmo settled happily in the space at Keith’s feet and Lance started driving. 

Running errand w/ Kosmo & Lance. Food in microwave.

He put his phone and tried to tell himself he should be calm now. They’d found Roland, and he was okay. He didn’t have to be so anxious anymore. The jittery feeling in his muscles refused to leave, though, and they only worsened the closer they got to Starbucks. 

Hunk noticed them through the window when they arrived. Lance pointed at Kosmo, and Hunk gestured with a nod of his head. Roland turned, wearing the clothes Keith had let him borrow. His entire body tensed at the sight of them, but he stood when Pidge and Hunk did to come outside. Kosmo started barking at them, his tail indecisive about whether he wanted to play with the strangers or defend against them. 

“Hey, who’s this little guy?” Pidge asked, falling to her knees and holding out her hand for Kosmo to sniff at. 

“Keith rescued him. His name is Kosmo,” Lance answered. Hunk knelt down to pet him as well. Roland was standing a few feet away. Lance offered a smile and a wave. “Hey, man.” Roland gave him a terse nod. 

“What are you doing at Starbucks?” Keith asked, figuring there was no point dancing around things. He’d been worried about him since he didn’t show up to the morning practice.

“Just wanted to be out of the hotel room,” he answered, tugging at his beanie. He was looking between Keith and Lance then Pidge and Hunk who were still playing with Kosmo. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Because I was worried!” Keith snapped. Lance grabbed his arm. He took a breath and rubbed his neck. “You didn’t show up and you haven’t been answering anyone. No one knew where you were, and the last I’d seen you, you were all beat up!” Roland’s good eye widened, flitting to Lance in a momentary panic. Keith scoffed. “He knows you stayed with me.” 

Roland’s face turned bright scarlet. “I don’t have my charger. And I can’t buy a new one because the hotel is taking up all my paycheck. I don’t want anymore questions about my face at school, and I don’t want to be showing up in the same two changes of clothes. I didn’t think it’d be such a big deal.” 

Lance chuckled softly. “You went off the radar completely. Could you really blame Keith for practically arranging a manhunt?” Roland furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms. Lance cleared his throat and turned to Keith. “Hey, we’re gonna go inside, okay? You should talk to him.” Lance squeezed his hand, and ushered his friend to stand and go inside. 

Keith looked at Roland, waiting for him to say something. But he didn’t. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” 

Roland looked down at Kosmo who was sniffing his shoe. “Maybe if you explain the dog.” 

Keith scoffed and moved over to one of the outside tables to sit. “I found him near a dumpster. He was hurt and he liked me so I took him home. I've only had him for two days.” Roland chuckled. “Your turn.” 

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “What do you want to know, man? If anything I have way more questions because nothing makes any sense.” Keith frowned, and Roland shook his head as he looked away toward a random parked car. “Why are you dragging your boyfriend around to look for me? After everything-”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Keith clarified. Roland rolled his eyes. “Look, I know we’re not friends. But you think I’d be okay with the idea of you showing up dead or something?” Roland looked back him, eyes wide in confusion. “You didn’t tell me who hurt you, and then we couldn’t find you, sue me for assuming the worst.” 

“Jesus.” 

Keith shook his head and stared at him. Roland wouldn’t meet his eyes. He seemed resolute in not saying anything. “Who hit you?” Keith asked. His jaw clenched, but he only gave a half-hearted shrug. “Was it your dad?” No reaction. “What did you tell him about me?” This time, his eyebrows knitted together, but he still wasn’t looking at Keith or talking to him. “He seemed to recognize me. My name at least.” 

“ What?” Roland finally turned to him, shock clear in his eyes. “What do you mean? How did you- No. Tell me you didn’t go looking for me at my house, Keith.” 

“What was I supposed to do?” Roland stood up and turned away, his hand gripping his hair. Kosmo, startled by his sudden movement, barked at him. “Roland, why won’t you tell me what happened?” 

“Because there’s no point, Keith! Nothing’s going to change, it doesn’t matter!” Roland turned back to him, frustration clear in the tension of his body and anguish clear in his features. “It won’t change things at home, it won’t change things with me, it won’t change things with you.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Roland remained quiet as he slumped back down in his seat and covered his face with his hands. “Why do care so much?” he asked after a while, moving one hand to his forehead. “You shouldn't care.”

“I care because… I don't know. I can still remember all the good things you did too. Like the time you went to each Toys R Us in the city until you found the toy Benny wanted for his birthday. Or when you spent your last five bucks on a sub and then ended up giving it to a homeless lady under the freeway.” Roland clenched his jaw and kept his gaze on the table. It was true. Roland was kind, which was what made everything he did that much more painful and confusing for Keith. “Maybe you weren't a good person to me, but you are good, Rolo. And no one deserves to be treated the way you've been.” 

The nickname made his eyes finally meet Keith’s. He scoffed and shook his head. “Always looking for the best in people.” 

Keith winced at the comment. He hadn't been too good about that since Roland. He shifted, wrapping Kosmo’s leash around his hand to keep him closer. 

“What'd my dad say to you?” 

“That I had some nerve showing up. Then he threatened to shoot me.” Roland rolled his eyes. “Gotta love living in Texas.” 

“You shouldn't have gone there.” 

“He's the one who did this to you, isn't he?” 

He scoffed and tugged his beanie down. “Big surprise, huh? Kid gets beat up by his homophobic dad.” 

Although Keith had managed to gather the clues for this theory to be the truth, it didn’t change the shock he felt. He couldn’t imagine his foster dad hurting him or hurting Shiro for who they liked. Sure, it wasn’t ideal for them; they’d wanted their sons to take wives and have children, but…. The Shiroganes loved them. Accepted them. Supported them. And Roland was walking evidence of a horrifying alternative that Keith often forgot existed. 

“How did he even find out?” he whispered. 

Roland put his face in his hands. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you.” There was a long, silent pause. Keith wondered if Roland would even say anything. Then he took a breath and crossed his arms, keeping his eyes on Kosmo who kept sniffing at cracks in the ground. “I left my laptop on in my room. I’d left just to run a quick errand for my mom after I got home, but it took longer than….” Another brief pause. “By the time I got back, he’d seen every message. I don’t even know why he was in my fucking room, he just-” Roland sniffed and looked up, trying to keep his emotions in check. “I didn’t even get a chance to say anything he just… went for it. He didn’t even care that Benny was by the stairs….” 

Keith reached forward to place his hand on his shoulder, hoping to be some form of reassurance, but Roland twisted away. Keith pulled his hand back. 

“Don’t. I don’t deserve your sympathy.” 

“Ro-”

“The messages were about you,” he spat out. “That’s how my dad knew who you were.” Keith stared at him, confused. Roland still wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I was… I was asking Alexa about the competition coming up, but the messages we had before were about you. I was… asking for help.” 

“Help?” 

Keith could see his face turning red before he continued. “This… before you started seeing what’s-his-face. I wanted to try to talk to you again, be friends. But I knew you hated me, and since you were paired with Alexa, I figured she was my best bet in figuring out how to approach you.” 

Suddenly, it made sense that Alexa knew so much about them. Sure, their sudden dislike for each other had been obvious, but Keith had been so careful not to let others know they were a thing. He’d been careful because Roland asked him to. He told her about it. 

“She said she could try to get you to talk to me, but didn’t make any promises, and that you guys were more dance partners than friends anyway.”

Keith scoffed and tried to reign in his frustration. “If you wanted to be friends, why did you say the things you said in the bathroom?” he muttered. 

“I was being selfish. I’d heard about you with some guy at the last party you threw and…. I knew if I said…. I’m sorry, Keith. It doesn’t make it right, I know that, but… I was hurt and I was so tired.” His voice cracked and Keith watched as he covered his mouth before taking another breath. “In my head, I thought we could be friends. And then we’d graduate and I’d get to leave home and… and I could try again. Do things right with you. But you… you moved on.” Roland scoffed and gestured vaguely. “And he’s fucking perfect. The way he treats you, the way he looks at you, and now he’s helping you find me?” Roland buried his face in his hands again, his entire body tense. Keith felt a knot constricting his throat. “I knew I’d have no chance, and it hurts…. It hurts to see someone giving you what I could have if I wasn’t so….” He sighed. “I wanted to hate you, Keith. I knew if I said… the all the wrong things you’d snap. But I just felt worse and then the look on your face…. I’m sorry, Keith, I’m so sorry for everything I ever said to you-”

“So you figured fucking with my head would help you in the long run?” Keith asked with a scowl. “That’s some fucked up, twisted logic, Roland.” 

“I know,” he answered in a small, broken voice.

Part of Keith wanted to scream at him. To tell him he had no right admitting he’d wanted to be with Keith this whole time. He wanted to tell him off for everything he’d said when he left and in the bathroom. He wanted to throw every horrible thought and sleepless night spent crying over him in his face. 

But he looked so small and broken sitting there. He was curled into himself, in stained clothes that weren’t going to be enough for the weather pretty soon, and he had no place to go back to. He was already in so much shit, and after what his father had done to him…. Keith didn’t want to add to that. 

“You could have told me from the start. You could have told me what your dad would do if he knew. Told me you wanted to wait instead of telling me I tricked you-”

“I know that, Keith,” Roland answered, finally looking at him. “It didn’t feel that easy. I know you. Look at you, you’re with someone new and you’ve had everyone looking for me. What would you have done if I’d told you the real reason I couldn’t be with you? Knowing you, you’d have asked me to move in with you and Shiro or maybe just said you were fine with hiding it from everyone, but I know you wouldn’t have been.” Roland laughed humorlessly. “I mean look at you now. This guy… he does everything you always wanted. You’re happier with him than you ever were with me.” Roland shrugged and looked away again. “I’m just too late.” 

It was quiet for a while again. Keith still absorbing the information, and Roland dealing with the emotional repercussions of his confession. After a while Roland asked, “Did you see Benny? Is he okay?” 

“Yeah. He opened the door. It just sounded like he had a cold.” 

Roland nodded, tears filling his eyes. “He’s been sick since last week. We were supposed to watch Laika movies all weekend.” He wiped at his eyes, wincing when he touched the swollen one. 

Keith couldn’t help but feel his heart break further for Roland. “You could file against your dad,” he offered. “You might get custody of your brother, you’re old enough.”

Roland shook his head. “He’s not a bad man, Keith. He’s done his best ever since my mom got sick. He’s never hurt us.” Keith looked at him dubiously. “I mean it. Not until now. I couldn’t put my mom through that. Or Benny.”

“He hates gay people so much that he’d change into a completely different person because of it?” Keith asked, with distaste in every word. That look in the man’s eyes when Keith stopped by the house and said his name was heartless. Keith couldn’t believe him to be a good man. 

“You don’t get it,” Roland said. “My dad was always the prime example of what a father should be. In every aspect. He’s good, it’s just….”

Keith took a deep breath. He didn’t want to claim he knew Roland’s father better than Roland, but he found it hard to believe the man who had threatened to pull out a gun could be a prime family man example. His opinion wasn’t what Roland needed right now, though. 

“Okay. So what are you gonna do now? You can’t stay at the hotel, and you can’t go home. I can’t keep sneaking you into my house.” 

Roland shrugged. “I don’t know. All my other family is out of the city, and I can’t drop out of school when I’m so close to finishing. And I don’t want to leave Benny or my mom behind, but I don’t know how….” That seemed to be his breaking point. He hunched over and broke down, shocking Keith, and even making Kosmo perk up in concern. “I feel like I lost them,” he cried. “I don’t know how to fix any of this, and I don’t know what to do, Keith.” 

Keith immediately moved from his chair to kneel in front of him. “Hey, this isn’t your fault. And you’re not on your own, okay?” Keith glance into the cafe, noticing Lance, Hunk, and Pidge looking at them worriedly from inside. “Can I get the others to come out here?” Roland shrugged, sniffing into his sleeve. Keith motioned for them to come back, and the three of them immediately stood up. 

“What happened?” Hunk asked. 

“We need to come up with some kind of plan. Roland’s got two changes of clothes, he can’t go home, and he can’t stay at a hotel without ending up broke. Have you even eaten today?” Roland stared at Keith mutely. “Oh God.” 

“Chick-fil-A is right here,” Lance offered. “Do you want something from there?” 

“No, it’s fine,” Roland said resolutely. 

“I’ll go with you, Lance,” Pidge said. “We’ll bring you a sandwich and what, a lemonade?” 

Roland seemed to hesitate, but eventually, he nodded. “Thanks….” 

“We’ll be right back.” Lance started walking with Pidge at his heels. 

Hunk pulled a chair over from the other table and sat down. “Hey, dude. If you need a place to stay, my place is available. I’m not in there much unless Pidge or Lance are over, so you won’t be in the way or anything. I’ve got an air mattress that’s pretty cozy. Hungover Lance and Pidge can vouch for it.” 

Roland let out a small laugh at that. “Are you sure?” Hunk nodded and Roland tugged at his beanie. “Thanks…. I… really appreciate it.” Hunk offered him a kind smile, but Roland was already looking down at the ground. “I’ll, uh, look for a place of my own to stay at. I’ll have to get another job to afford it, but at least until I graduate.”

Keith wished he could help more, but there was only so much he could do at the point they were at. A few silent moments later, Lance and Pidge came back with the food. Pidge handed over the bag and the drink, and Roland couldn’t even bother to pretend to hesitate. He thanked them again and immediately started stuffing his mouth with fries. 

Meanwhile, Lance offered Keith an ice cream cone which had Kosmo pawing at his leg for a taste. “What’d we miss?” Lance asked. 

“Roland can stay with me for a while,” Hunk answered. 

“Uh. I’ve got some clothes I don’t wear much if you need it,” Lance said awkwardly. “Since you can’t go home to get your own.” 

Keith noticed Roland try to keep his face passive, but the offer even made Keith cringe. His mouth was full of food, so the tension stretched out for a while until Pidge said, “My brother has some clothes too. He’s about your size.”

Roland chewed and cleared his throat. “Thanks. Both of you.” He looked down at the ground, sandy hair shielding his bruised face. “You should find someone else to pair with Erika. If you find someone now, they can learn in time for competition.” 

Keith frowned and sat back down. “Wait. You’re leaving the group?” 

Roland looked back at him, moving for more food. “I need another job, Keith. I can’t have two and get my school work done and put enough time into dancing. I don’t have a choice.”

Keith couldn’t say much to that. The whole thing was a difficult situation. The silence settled over them. Roland worked on finishing his food. Keith stared at his hands, still thinking about everything Roland had said and everything happening now. Hunk and Pidge distracted themselves with Kosmo to keep from dealing with the awkwardness of the air around them. Meanwhile, Lance was facing it head on.

He kept shifting from foot to foot, placing his hand on the back of Keith’s before letting it awkwardly slide off. His eyes kept flitting around. Part of Keith wanted to take his hand and try to calm him down. The other part felt like that would be insensitive to Roland after everything he’d just told Keith and everything he was going through. 

Once Roland was done with his food, Hunk said, “If you want we can stop by Matt’s place to get some clothes. That way I can get you settled at my place.” Roland nodded. “We’ll bring the car around.” 

Keith zoned out as Hunk and Pidge said bye to Lance, and he was only vaguely aware of a goodbye said to him. He managed a feeble wave before they left to the other end of the parking lot. 

“You wanna get going too?” Lance asked under his breath. Keith nodded as he stood, feeling heavier and heavier the more everything looped in his head. 

“Uh, Keith?” Keith and Lance turned to look at Roland. He looked embarrassed. “Uh. I just….” Roland’s eyes drifted over to Lance. 

For a moment, Lance looked between them. Then he said, “I’ll wait for you in the car.” 

Keith nodded, watching him go. The tension was clear in his shoulders, and Keith wished he could make it disappear. He turned back to Roland, fiddling with the leash in his hands. “What is it?” 

Roland stood up and took a long, deep breath. “Thank you. For looking for me. Worrying about me. If you hadn’t, I don’t think anyone else would’ve. I know… after everything… I don’t deserve all this help you and your friends are giving me but-”

“Hey, no worries. It’s cool. Really. Just don't disappear again, alright?” 

Roland scoffed at that and shook his head. Then, before Keith could react, Roland had his arms around him, hugging him tightly. Kosmo started yipping at their legs. 

His hold was tight. His hands grasped onto the fabric of Keith’s jacket. His head fit neatly in the crook of Keith's neck, like it always had. And maybe Roland needed the hug.

But it was becoming too much for Keith. He knew in his gut that the hug had more layers to it for Roland. It didn't feel right. Not anymore. Keith had his answers now which was ironic because he didn't need them or want them anymore. He only hoped that maybe Roland could do things right for someone else. Or at least for himself. 

He pulled away from him gently and gestured with a tilt of his head. “Hunk’s pulling up. Expect a lot of messages when you charge your phone up.” He stepped back and smiled, however forced. “Bye, Roland. See you at school.” 

Roland nodded and waved feebly before heading to the car that was idle along the curb. Keith bent over to pick Kosmo up and rushed to get to the warmth of the car. That ice cream cone had only made him colder. 

As soon as he got inside, the unease was palpable.  

The car was started. The radio was on low volume. Lance wasn’t moving. He just stared out the window, like he was looking in his rearview mirror. 

“Can you say something?” Keith asked through a sigh. 

Lance looked over at him, and Keith realized just how much he hated not seeing that dimple on his right cheek. He hated the way his eyes seemed to dim when there was something wrong. Lance managed an empty smile. “So that’s the guy that broke your heart.” 

“I’m over it,” Keith insisted, knowing that his tone was verging on defensive. “Lance, I meant it when I said I don’t like him anymore.” 

“I know, I know. I believe you,” Lance answered, leaning forward to rest his head on the steering wheel. “I just…. The whole thing is fucking with my head. Now he’s staying with Hunk, and I kind of want to know what you talked about, but I don’t want to be that guy, y’know?” 

Keith smiled and reached over to run his hands through his hair before resting his hand on the nape of Lance’s neck. “Look at me, pretty boy.” Lance turned his head, and Keith urged him away from the steering wheel. He placed his other hand on his cheek and pressed a light kiss to the corner of his mouth. “He didn’t say anything that changes what’s happening between us.” He pressed a kiss to his jaw. “I’m sorry I pulled you into this.” Lance shook his head, ready to say something, but Keith stopped him by pressing a kiss against his lips. 

He wanted to reassure Lance, wanted to make sure he knew how much Keith liked him. He wanted Lance to know how happy he was with him. Even though he couldn’t figure out a way to voice it, he could show it. 

When he pulled away, he could feel Lance’s warm, uneven breaths against his lips. He skimmed the features of his face with a level of adoration he hadn’t felt in a long time. For the long lashes that fanned out considerably with his eyes shut. For the little freckle just beside his nose, barely noticeable from far away. For the way he bit his lip. And when he opened his eyes, for the pretty blue they were as they looked at him in that way that reduced Keith to a puddle. 

“God if you knew the effect you had on me, Keith,” Lance murmured softly, nudging his nose against Keith’s.

The words left Keith’s cheeks burning, and he chuckled into the crook of Lance’s neck to hide his face. He felt Lance’s fingers brushing through his hair gently, soothingly. “What do you say we go back to your apartment and watch Shrek on Netflix?” 

Lance gasped and pulled back, his whole face lighting up. “Really?” Keith nodded, laughing at his enthusiasm. “You remembered how much I like those movies?” 

Keith scoffed at that. “Babe, you know most of the script to the second movie.” Lance rolled his eyes. “Besides, I think we could both use a destressor today, yeah?” 

“Yeah. That sounds perfect.” 

Keith smiled at him and waited for him to pull out of the parking lot before taking his hand over the glove compartment in the center. 

When they got to the apartment, Keith removed Kosmo’s leash to let him roam free. He sent Shiro a text to let him know he was at Lance’s, then he went to sit on the couch as Lance scrolled through Netflix. 

Once he got the movie to start playing, Keith spread his arms. A smile spread on Lance’s face as he took his spot nestled up against Keith’s side. He could feel Lance relax as his arms wrapped around him. 

Keith had never been a fan of Shrek. He’d watched the movies and he didn’t mind when they were on, but he didn’t care for them. At least not until now. Because now, he got to see the way they made Lance laugh and he could hear the soft whispers of Lance mumbling the lines he knew or singing along to the songs on the soundtrack. He enjoyed hearing Lance say something about a particular scene or line, especially the ones he thought were romantic. Keith would watch these movies forever if it meant watching Lance react to them. 

By the end, Lance was joining in on a rendition of I’m a Believer that had Keith laughing until his stomach hurt. 

“You’re adorable,” Keith teased. Lance rolled his eyes, but the blush in his cheeks gave him away. “Hey.” Lance hummed and let his eyes drift back to him. “Thanks for today. For being so patient and… understanding about everything. And I’m sorry if some stuff made you uncomfortable….” 

“It’s not your fault,” Lance answered, just as softly. His hand came up to Keith’s cheek, his thumb brushed gently along his cheekbone. Such a soft touch Keith didn’t know he could want so badly. “I was just scared of losing you.” 

Furrowing his eyebrows, Keith stared back at him. “Losing me?” 

He nodded and shrugged. “I was just… scared that maybe you still liked him. That by him talking to you again, you were realizing it. Seeing the way he looked at you or the way he hugged you made me think….” He shook his head and shifted to face Keith better. “Keith… I haven't felt like this about someone in a long time. You're a big deal for me, you know? Just like I know he was a big deal for you-” 

Keith put a finger to his lips to stop him. “You really don't realize it?” Lance frowned, his eyes flitting down to the finger at his lips. “ You are a big deal for me, Lance. Everything about what we have has been different. I still don't fully know what to expect with you and I still panic sometimes thinking I'll do or say something that'll make you want to go away.” Lance sighed and took the hand at his mouth in his own. He turned Keith's palm toward him and kissed it softly. “What I had with Roland was a mess. What I have with you? It's been so much better and I'm not going to give it up.” 

A softness fell on his features. Keith leaned forward, kissing him hesitantly. It was hard for him. He didn’t like being so open. It had backfired before. It’d been used against him before. He gave his all to people, and often times it left him drained. Keith knew he was risking a lot by voicing what he felt to Lance. 

But that look in his eyes…. Keith needed it to disappear, needed Lance to see he was planning to stay. 

He nudged Lance back slowly until he was laying on the couch. As Lance fixed the awkward position of his legs, Keith settled over him, one hand caressing and holding Lance's face at the same time. 

There were so many things he wanted to say, he just didn't know how. There was so much he wanted to express, and he was at a loss for the right words. Part of Keith was afraid to even search for them, afraid of the vulnerability they would entail. He hoped that maybe instead he could just put it across with action.

That with every kiss Keith trailed down the side of his neck, Lance would know it was Keith's adoration. That with the way he intertwined their hands together, Lance would know it was Keith trusting him. That each impatient grind of his hips and nip of his teeth against the sensitive skin of Lance's throat was Keith's need for him. 

He hoped Lance realized how drastically different this was for Keith. Especially compared to the past year. 

Soft, warm breaths slipped past Lance's parted lips, quick and short. His free hand held Keith's side as he leaned his head to expose his neck further. 

Then suddenly there was a bark at his ear and the light scratch of a claw on his shoulder. It made them both start for a moment before dissolving into a fit of laughter. 

“What's up, buddy? You wanna give me affection too?” Lance asked. Kosmo barked and tried jumping onto the couch to no avail. He settled for pawing at them and Lance smirked up at Keith. “Apparently you've got competition, babe.” 

Keith rolled his eyes and kissed his cheek before dipping toward his ear. “You know, he can't reach the bed.” 

Lance hummed, stifling a moan as Keith bit and tugged at his earlobe. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan,” he said quickly. He nudged Keith off of him him so he could get up. 

Keith couldn't help but laugh at Lance's enthusiasm. Their legs tangled and stumbled as they walked down the hallway until they got to Lance's room. Keith laid him down again and moved to lay over him. He kissed him slowly, playfully at first. With a few nips to his lower lip and chaste kisses between fits of laughter and soft smiles. 

He felt Lance's hand come up to the side of his neck. He felt as it slid to the back of his head, his long fingers sitting through his hair gently. Their kisses intensified. Their legs tangled together, like they couldn't get close enough to each other. 

Slowly, Keith made his way back to Lance’s neck, determined to cover him in the proof of his mouth. Whenever Lance looked in a mirror he’d remember. He’d remember how much Keith wanted him, how he lavished him in touches no one else could give him. Caught up in his thoughts, he hadn’t realized he’d started biting as he sucked against the skin until he heard a gasp from Lance. 

He might have stopped if not for the way Lance’s hips lifted to press against Keith’s and the way his hands slid down the sides of his body, fingers tousling the fabric of his shirt. Keith pulled back slightly, happy with the small galaxy he’d created on the side of his neck. 

He shifted until he was straddling Lance. “Sit up for me, pretty boy,” he murmured. Lance did and Keith let his hands trail down slowly to the hem of his shirt. He lifted it, tugging it over his head and discarding it beside them. 

“You too,” Lance whispered. His eyes were bright and wide. Keith smiled and kissed him lightly before reaching back to pull his own shirt off. Lance’s warm hands were on him as soon as his skin was exposed and Keith let out a long sigh. “Exquisite,” he said, so softly Keith almost didn’t hear. He felt warm lips on his collar bone, long hands pressed into his back. Keith wrapped his arms around Lance, his body heat spiking ridiculously fast. 

He spread his hands across Lance’s shoulder blades, then let himself roam the expanse of his back as Lance littered his collarbone with kisses and flicks of his tongue. 

“Lance,” Keith breathed, nuzzling into the wavy hair. Lance hummed. “Lay down.” 

“Uh-uh,” Lance protested, holding him tighter. His kisses made their way up his neck. 

Keith bit his lip as he chuckled. He tilted Lance’s head back with a light tug of his hair. “Why are you being stubborn?” He laid a hand on his chest, nudging him back gently. Once Lance was laying down again, Keith reached for his hand and pulled it up to his lips. “Let me take care of you, pretty boy.” 

“But I wanna touch you too, and-”

Keith covered his mouth and smiled. “Let me take care of you first, then.” Lance stared at him with wide eyes, and Keith noticed his body lose some of its tension. He relaxed into the bed. Keith brought Lance’s hand back to his lips, kissing each fingertip lightly before interlocking their hands. He shifted lower so he could lean down and begin marking his chest. 

He wanted to kiss every part of Lance. He didn’t want there to be a single spot where Lance wouldn’t see evidence of Keith’s touch, his affection. He held himself up with the hand he’d intertwined with Lance’s as the other glided along the side of his body lightly. He could hear Lance’s shaky breaths in response. He let his hand slide along his arm, around his shoulder, let his fingers trace over the ridge of his collarbone, and ghosted them over his chest.

His mouth moved lower to continue a path of fuschia love bites. Lance jutted his hips up slightly and Keith chuckled. “Easy, babe.” 

Shifting his weight to his legs, he slid both hands up along Lance’s chest as he decorated his torso. He felt the quick rise and fall from his breathing. His hands continued until they were tracing the curve of his throat and Lance moaned, wrapping one leg around Keith. 

He skimmed his lips lightly along his stomach. Goosebumps rose on the warm, brown skin. His name sounded like an incantation as it fell from Lance’s lips in a whisper. Keith pulled himself up, resting on the heels of his feet as he traced his fingers teasingly along the top of Lance’s jeans. His arousal was evident in his jeans. Keith couldn’t help but smile proudly at how easily he could get Lance to that point. Meanwhile Lance was completely focused on him, a different kind of darkness in the cerulean of his eyes. 

“Wanna raise your hips for me, baby?” Keith murmured. Lance complied, almost as if he were in a trance. Keith unbuttoned his jeans and worked on tugging them off. He laughed as Lance impatiently kicked them off, ducking when the movement risked hitting him on the head. “Lance!” 

“Clothes are stupid,” he muttered. Keith shook his head, chuckling at his expense. He traced his fingers up the length of Lance’s leg slowly until Lance started laughing and pulled his legs away. “That tickles.” 

Keith smiled and lifted his leg by his calf to press a kiss to his ankle. “What about that?” 

Lance smiled and raised an eyebrow before shaking his head. Keith trailed kisses up his leg playfully, watching that smile widen until it burst into a soft laugh. “Keith!” He used his leg to wrap around Keith and topple him forward. Keith caught himself with his hands on either side of Lance’s head. Lance murmured something in Spanish, something Keith didn’t understand. 

“What’s that mean?” 

“It means you drive me crazy,” he whispered. Keith blushed, but Lance was already pulling him into another kiss, wrapping his legs tighter around him. “Why are your jeans still on?” he grumbled. 

Keith laughed into the kiss and pressed his fingers into the purple bruises along the side of his neck. “Because you don't give me the chance to take them off.” Keith ran a hand along the length of his legs, gently unhooking them from around his hips. “Do me a favor, and stay still.” Lance hummed and caressed Keith's cheek. Keith grabbed his hand and slowly pulled it away from his face to press it into the pillow by his head. “Stay still, pretty boy.”

Lance sighed and shut his eyes, briefly interlocking their fingers before relaxing and stilling his body. Keith smiled to himself as he shifted to litter Lance's stomach with kisses again, softly, slowly. 

He waited for Lance's breaths to slow back down before starting to gently bite and suck to leave more marks. He soothed each one over with a lick of his tongue and it wasn't long before Lance was breathing heavily again. 

It was extremely satisfying to watch each new mark bloom across his skin, to feel the goosebumps and shivers that happened anywhere Keith’s fingers skimmed over. He could feel Lance’s muscles tensing, fighting the urge to move. Keith worked his boxers down just enough to reveal his hip bone. Lance groaned out a curse under his breath when Keith refused to lower his single item of clothing any more. 

Keith rubbed his thumbs in circles along the highest part of his hip, he ran his tongue slowly from just under his belly button down to the waistband of his boxers. He started kissing the newly exposed skin, a hand rubbing lightly along the tent in his boxers. He could hear Lance’s breaths get more erratic, but when he glanced up, Lance had a hand clamped over his mouth. 

“Lance,” Keith said with an underlying reprimand in his voice. He lifted his head to look down at Keith. Keith tightened his grip on Lance’s hips. “Put your hand back where I put it.” He did so hesitantly, and Keith smiled then rewarded him by increasing the speed of his hand. 

It made Lance’s head fall back onto the pillow. Keith moved lower to place kisses along the inside of his thigh as he spread them apart so he had room between his legs. “Keith, you’re killing me,” Lance said with a tight voice. 

Keith didn’t respond to that, but he trailed his fingertips along the inside of his thigh as he sat up, his other hand pushing up the leg of Lance’s boxers. “So soft,” he murmured. Lance’s leg twitched as Keith’s fingers went higher. “And sensitive.” 

“This is payback isn’t it?” Lance breathed heavily. “Because I took so long rimming you last time.” 

That made Keith laugh. “No, baby. Not payback.” He let his eyes drift to Lance’s face, and he watched how his eyebrows knit together, his teeth dug into his lower lip. His eyelids fluttered, and his hands clenched and unclenched around nothing. A small smile tugged at Keith’s lips as he observed him. He moved to straddle Lance, then reached over to take his hands and pull him up. 

Lance opened his eyes and watched him carefully. He leaned in to kiss him, affection making his heart swell as Lance’s hands immediately took to caressing the sides of his face. Lance’s tongue dizzied Keith, and without meaning to, he grinded his hips down, sending shivers through both their bodies. 

Once he started, he didn’t stop. He couldn’t if he wanted to, because Lance was rolling his hips up to meet him. Before he knew it, he had his arms around Lance, holding onto him like he was a lifeline. Lance’s fingers were digging into his thighs so hard, it hurt. His mouth was at his neck, one hand tugging at the roots of his hair and the other pushing into the small of his back to control the movements of Keith’s hips. 

Lance was letting out these little hums, grunting against Keith’s skin between breaths. Meanwhile, Keith’s breath were becoming faster and louder, despite breathing through his nose. He pressed his mouth against Lance’s shoulder to stifle any possible sounds, his body trembling from exertion as well as the fact that each grind brought him closer to that wonderful high. 

He started to pull away because he didn’t want to finish yet. He wanted to build Lance up until he got so desperate, he lost control and managed to fuck Keith until they were both boneless and lightheaded. He wanted to soothe every worry, fear, and tension by making him forget about them all. He wanted Lance to be unable to focus on anything that wasn’t Keith and his kisses and his touches. 

But Lance wasn’t letting him move away. “No, don’t go anywhere,” he huffed. 

“‘M not,” Keith groaned. “Just too close. I don’t wanna come yet.” 

“It’s okay.” Lance guided his head back slightly with a gentle tug of his hair. Keith looked at him through half-lidded eyes. Lance was still rocking his hips and the tug on his hair was just a small taste of something that Keith knew would make him lose it completely. “I wanna see it happen.”

“But I wanna-” Keith gasped as Lance pulled his hips down at the same time he rocked up. “Lance,” he breathed.

The hand in his hair let go, favoring his hips instead. Both hands led him, increasing the speed along with Lance’s own movements. Keith could tell Lance was getting close too- he could hear it in the way his grunts became a little louder, the way he started adding in curses and murmurs of his name. 

“Keep going, keep going, keep going,” Lance said, as Keith surrendered to Lance’s encouragements. He was too close to an orgasm to deny it to himself. 

Keith buried his face into Lance's neck, his mouth open against his warm skin as he gasped for breath. His hands curled into fists at Lance's back. He knew Lance didn't like it, but he bit back the choked whimpers that tried to build in his throat. 

He felt Lance's hand pull the band of his boxers down and practically growled when Lance wrapped his hand around him. He'd stopped rolling his hips up to meet Keith's, but he kept leading Keith's movement with the hard press of his fingers. It wasn't like Keith needed it though; he was rocking into Lance's hand and panting against his neck almost like he was on autopilot. 

The hand at his hip pulled away to gently turn Keith's head until they were face to face. Lance's thumb traced along his lower lip as he smiled at him. Keith let his jaw fall open until he could take Lance's thumb into his mouth, and he bit down on it. 

“Let me hear you.” 

Keith chuckled 

“Let me hear you,” Lance whispered, his breath warm against Keith’s lips. 

It made Keith chuckle to hear him say that. He only responded by biting onto his thumb a little harder and licking him gently as an apology. 

Lance hummed. Then he took his hand away and snapped Keith’s boxers back in place. Keith huffed indignantly, gasping at the feeling of the elastic hitting his skin and the fabric covering him back up. “What are you doing?” Keith asked, grinding into nothing at that point. 

Lance traced his finger up Keith’s torso, up his chest, and along his collarbone. The thumb in his mouth was replaced by two fingers which pressed down gently to coax his mouth open. “Now who’s being stubborn?” he chided softly. “You I like hearing you.” Keith grunted in annoyance, but it only made Lance smile more. “You were so close.” His voice had become so low, Keith strained to hear it over his heartbeat. “So close, and I want to see that beautiful face you make.” A shiver ran after the trace of Lance’s fingertips as they followed the path of his spine. “But if I can’t hear you, then maybe I should just make it harder for you.” 

Keith’s eyes flew open. “What?” 

Lance bit his lip as he gave Keith that cocky smirk he’d had painted on his face from the moment he’d met him. That smirk could get him anything he wanted, and the killer part was that he was certain Lance had no fucking idea. Whether it was a shy smirk or a downright devilish one, it was effective. Keith already felt his cheeks heating up in embarrassment over the prospective sounds he would make. 

“How about you be a good boy for me this time?” 

Keith gulped, staring at him dumbly. Lance only leaned in to swipe his tongue up Keith’s lower lip, teasing his open mouth with it. Keith let out a shaky breath which prodded Lance to skim his teeth along his lip. His fingers pushed down in his mouth a little more, and Keith knew he was close to drooling. 

“Fuck,” he groaned in surrender, knowing he was about to give Lance what he wanted. Lance responded by using his hand to steady Keith as he grinded against him, but only once. Keith realized what his game was; for every sound, he’d get rewarded with a touch. Lance got what he wanted, and Keith would get what he wanted. 

He tested the theory with a moan, and Lance immediately latched onto his neck, placing chaste kisses along his throat. Keith let out a louder moan, and the lips at his neck parted to allow Lance to nip at his skin. Partially out of spite, and partially out of curiosity, Keith let out a high pitched whine that was louder than any sound he'd previously made in his life. 

It made Lance freeze. And then suddenly, he was laughing. He was laughing so hard, he had to stifle himself by burying his face into Keith's shoulder. 

“Oh is that not what you wanted?” Keith asked sarcastically.

Undeterred, Lance kept laughing though it was softer. His hands cupped Keith's face and he shook his head. “ Principe, I'm not asking you to let me hear you just because I get off on it. I don't expect you to sound like a porn star. I'd actually be worried if you did, because then I'd know damn well you were faking.” Keith rolled his eyes. But Lance's gentle hands soothed his frustration, his embarrassment. “Do you know why I wanna hear the sounds you hold back?” 

Keith sighed. “Because you like knowing you make me feel good.” 

The smile on Lance's face softened. “Not just that,” he murmured. Keith arched an eyebrow. “You said you don't like to make noise because it's embarrassing. But when you're with me…. I don't want you to feel like you have to hold back. I don't want you to feel embarrassed with me. I want you to feel comfortable.” Lance brushed his lips against Keith's just barely. 

Keith let his eyes shut, tilting toward Lance. Their lips chased after each other's, but never fell into a proper kiss. “It's just hard to do. I'm used to being quiet.” 

“I know, baby. I know it's hard to just break a habit.” Lance's hands slid into his hair. “Just know I'm not trying to tease you or frustrate you. I'm just trying to remind you that you're safe with me.” 

Keith let his eyes meet Lance's. For the millionth time since meeting him, he tried to detect some sort of hesitancy in his words, some telltale sign in his eyes that would betray an ounce of doubt. And for the millionth time he failed to find it. Lance meant everything he said. 

And Keith had no idea what to do about that. 

He let himself smile back at Lance a bit sheepishly. “I'm supposed to be reassuring you. Not the other way around.” 

Lance chuckled and finally kissed him firmly on the mouth. “I think we do a good job about reassuring each other.” Keith hummed, smiling a little wider as Lance leaned in for another kiss. The hands in his hair tightened slightly, making Keith's eyes shut. “Now, should we finish what we started?” 

“We're nowhere close to finished,” Keith answered with a gasp. 

As Lance rubbed him through his boxers and sucked hickeys against his throat, Keith tried to get lost in the sensations. He did feel comfortable with Lance, and he wanted him to know that. His breaths turned shallow as Lance's hands moved to his ass, pushing into the flesh to rock Keith's hips against him. He could feel Lance's moans reverberating in the places where he kissed him. 

Keith tried to move faster, feeling his breaths hitch with each press against each other. 

“Hah… La-ah! Fuck. Close,” he groaned. He heard his own breaths getting louder the closer he got to his release. Being completely wrapped up in Lance helped. With his voice whispering to Keith, enveloped in his warmth and his scent and his touches. 

He started scrambling for a better position, and Lance wrapped an arm around his torso. The other grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his head back. 

Keith's mouth fell open and an unreserved moan filled the room. “There you are,” Lance said. Keith could hear the cheeky smile in his voice. “Now just let go for me.” 

He was so close, so fucking close, and he could hear the way his moans and Lance's mingled together like a dirty song. The high hit him hard, causing his limbs to go weak as he leaned into Lance. The mess in his boxers made him wince. He tried to catch his breath as Lance trailed his hands along his body, massaging his thighs gently. 

“Shit,” Keith muttered breathlessly. “I didn't bring a change of clothes.” 

Lance laughed and kissed him over and over until Keith couldn't help but smile. “I'll lend you a change. In the meantime, should I take these off of you?” Keith smirked and nodded. 

Lance lifted him and tugged his boxers away. Keith pulled away to find the lube he knew Lance kept in the drawer of the bedside table. Meanwhile, Lance discarded his own boxers, his eyes following Keith’s body with a dark gaze. 

Keith returned, straddling him as he held the lube in one hand and let his knuckles trail Lance’s member. A shaky breath fell from his lips, and Keith swallowed it with a kiss before leaning in toward his ear. “How quickly can you get hard again if I make you come now?” he whispered. 

Lance sighed and Keith felt a slight roll of his hips in attempt for more friction. “Probably the same amount of time it would take me to stretch you.” 

Keith smirked and pressed the lube into Lance’s hand. “Perfect.” 

He didn’t waste any time in shuffling down to wrap his mouth around Lance’s cock. Lance cursed loudly above him, his hips jutting up in an automatic reaction. “Shit! Fuck, Keith- baby, a little warning next time.” 

Keith blinked up at him and swallowed around the weight in his mouth. He pressed his tongue along the side as he pulled off slowly. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked in a low voice. 

Lance stared at him. His Adam’s apple bobbe visibly, and Keith had to bite back a smirk before he wrapped his mouth around him again. Lance’s hand went into his hair, his finger ran through the thick locks over and over to help him keep them out of his face. “You make it hard to think.” 

Good. Keith figured he shouldn’t be thinking about anything but him at that moment anyway. He started bobbing his head at a faster pace. He could feel the pulsing on his tongue. His saliva dribbled around Lance from the corners of his mouth. As Keith’s jaw got used to the stretch, he took more of Lance in, which resulted in his grip tightening in his hair. 

Keith gasped when a swipe of his tongue made Lance yank him by the roots until he was staring at Lance with his head pulled back, open mouth shining with spit and gasping for breath. Something shone in Lance’s eyes. 

“You like that, don’t you?” Keith kept his gaze steady on him, an eyebrow arched. Lance’s hold loosened. His hand massaged Keith’s scalp soothingly. Lance looked at him with a soft smile, his eyes dark with lust and want and something gentle reserved only for Keith and only for moments like these.  

Keith bit his lip, waiting, but not sure for what. When Lance didn’t do anything but smirk at him, Keith lowered his head back down and continued his motions. He felt the hand in his hair move to down his back, the fingers following the ridges of his spine until Lance couldn’t reach further. As Keith worked his mouth around him, he felt Lance’s nails scratch up his back. Little grunts came from Lance’s throat, encouraging Keith. 

He sucked his cheeks in, and Lance removed his hands in favor of holding himself steady with the help of the bed. A low curse fell from his lips and Keith wanted to hear more of it. He liked the way Lance’s voice would hitch when he was overwhelmed, or the way his jaw would tense when he was gasping Keith’s name. And he absolutely adored the look on his face when Keith brought him over the edge- that furrow of his eyebrows, the way his eyes took on a hazy look, the way his mouth would fall open for a few seconds before he bit down hard on his lower lip as he caught his breath. 

“Fuck, it’s not fair how good you are at that,” Lance groaned, before brushing the back of his fingers against the side of Keith's face. 

It still took Keith a little by surprise when Lance did stuff like that. All those gentle touches that made sex feel like a little more than a fuck. All those little moments that erased Keith's fear of being kicked out or left alone after everything was done. A brush of his fingers, a kiss to his forehead, the way their hands interlocked, or their noses bumped together playfully mid kiss…. 

All those things never failed to make Keith's brain short circuit for a while as he let it sink in again. Lance wasn't just another guy. This time wasn't the last time. He wouldn't be cold and alone afterward. He was safe. He was wanted in every way he ever wanted to be wanted. 

Keith took a deep breath through his nose before taking Lance deeper into his mouth. He bobbed his head quickly, trying to work his tongue and lips while still maintaining the pace. He heard Lance’s curses and moans get faster. 

He managed to glance up at him just in time. The tension of his legs had given away how close Lance was, and Keith looked at him at the very moment Lance came. Keith pulled away as leftover spurts hit his chin, watching as Lance’s cheeks flushed and his chest heaved. His eyes were still on Keith, fighting to focus. Keith watched as Lance took his bottom lip between his teeth with little grunts still making their way through. 

Keith didn’t say anything as he leaned in closer to him, legs on either side of Lance, and kissed him. Lance moaned softly as his hand tried to wipe away the mess on his chin. Keith only pulled away to continue kissing his neck. Lance fumbled around until he found his shirt at the edge of the bed and used it to wipe Keith’s face for him. 

“What a gentleman,” Keith said sarcastically. 

Lance chuckled and cupped his hands around his ass. “Shut up and kiss me.”

Keith couldn’t help but smile at the irony before he found Lance’s lips again. They laughed into each other’s mouths as Lance turned to lay him down and shifted over him all without breaking their kiss. It led to a lot of fumbling that otherwise might have aggravated or embarrassed Keith. But there with Lance, it just eased him further. 

When Keith was settled against the pillows, Lance looked down at him with a small smirk. Keith arched an eyebrow, but Lance didn’t say anything. He just traced a finger over the shape of Keith’s lips again and again. 

Then he took Keith’s hand and lifted it to his chest. Lance flattened Keith’s palm against him; he could feel Lance’s heart pounding quickly. “How do you do that to me just by looking at me?” Lance asked him. As if Keith had a reasonable answer. 

He could feel the blush in his cheeks and shook his head. “You just orgasmed. I think that’s the real reason behind this.” 

Lance shook his head stubbornly. “No. It’s you.” He said it so certainly, with that cute smile and that precious dimple in his cheek, that Keith had to believe him. Keith did that to Lance's heart; Keith made it speed up. That's how much Lance liked him. “Hey.” Keith blinked a few times to clear his head. “You okay?” 

He nodded and pressed his hand harder against Lance's chest, against the rhythmic palpitations. “Yeah. Just surreal to think about.” He slid his hand to the nape of Lance's neck. “Now shut up and kiss me.” 

Lance laughed at having his own words turned on him. He leaned in, not quite kissing him, but so tantalizingly close. His breaths intermingled with Keith's as Lance trailed his lips over his. His tongue teased into his mouth, occasionally clashing lazily with Keith's. And that debilitating smirk never dropped from his face. 

Without meaning to, a moan fell from Keith's lips as a plea for Lance to stop teasing him. Instead, he was met with a low hum and Lance's teeth grazing his lip. Lance tugged lightly as Keith let out a shaky breath. 

A hand pushed his legs apart and brought his knee up to his chest before it ran back down his thigh. Lance was a fast learner. It hadn't taken too many times for his confidence to build when it came to fingering him open, and that confidence drove Keith crazy. Because Lance loved to drag it all out. 

He liked making Keith restless, liked watching him squirm impatiently for more without ever giving in to his wishes. 

Except he didn't do that this time. This time he was working him open steadily, but he responded to everything Keith's body did and every sound he made. The feeling of his fingers was a tease in and of itself, fulfilling that need for stimulation but nowhere near what Lance could do.

There was an urgency to Lance's motions this time. An urgency that had Keith gasping for breath and letting out meaningless mumbles and curses. Lance kissed him in an almost feral way, swallowing each sound like they were the air he needed to breathe.

“La-Lance, oh God….” 

“You make my name sound so good, principe.” Lance started kissing his neck and Keith wrapped his hands around his arms, blunt nails digging into his skin. 

After a while longer, Keith pulled away and started turning around. “Okay, okay, okay, I'm good. I'm ready.” 

Lance stopped him with a hand on his torso. “Come on, babe. You know I like looking at you.” Keith rolled his eyes but laid on his back. “Be right back,” he promised with a quick kiss on the cheek. 

Lance shuffled off him to fumble in his drawer again. Keith watched the curve of his back as he moved, counted the scatter freckles that created constellations on his shoulder blades, and reached out to lightly touch the dimples at the small of his back. 

“You're beautiful,” he whispered. 

Lance looked back at him and gave him a shy smile. Keith liked how it looked on him. When Lance was embarrassed or shy, it made him seem a little more human. A little more realistic. And it made Keith feel special knowing he could get him to react that way. 

“I didn't think you could use the word beautiful for guys until you,” Lance whispered. He leaned over and kissed him softly, slowly.

“Want some help with that?” Keith asked once Lance had pulled away. Lance hummed and pressed the condom into his palm. Keith kept his eyes on Lance’s, getting lost in how magnificent they were. Like little pools of blue and a splash of teal at the very edge of the pupil. He knew it was there but could barely see it because of how thin the iris was. 

Then Lance's eyes fluttered shut as Keith slid the condom over him and spread more lube along the length. Keith shifted, folding himself until his legs were over Lance's shoulders, his knees nearly touching his chest. 

“Tell me when you're ready,” Lance murmured, taking a moment to push Keith's hair back. He bumped his nose against Keith's in a way that made Keith smile. 

“I'm good.” 

Lance nodded and Keith felt him begin to push in. He sighed softly, tilting his head back as Lance pushed in a little deeper. He pulled back out and repeated, slowly stretching him more and more with each roll of his hips. 

Keith dug his fingernails into Lance's back, gasping his name between soft curses. He clenched around him and Lance buried his face in his neck, groaning as he shuddered. 

It was such a small thing to do, the whole going slowly. And yet, it left Keith with a flurry of butterflies and weakened limbs. People he'd slept with before had always been eager. It had always been almost animalistic until Keith convinced himself he liked it that way. He liked guys being so desperate for him, they couldn't properly take his clothes off or be patient in their movements. Keith told himself he was just so good at sex, they couldn't think about anything but the pleasure. Even Roland had been rushed in their time together, eager to be with Keith but too afraid to stop and learn how to take his time. But Keith always made excuses for Roland. 

Excuses for all of them that didn't make sense now. Because Lance was so slow, so careful. He'd been so adamant about learning the right way, about not hurting Keith. But his desperation was there. It was there in the way he trembled from holding himself back, in the press of his lips against any part of Keith he could kiss, in the heavy breaths and grunts he made in Keith's ear. 

It had angered Keith at first. He thought Lance was teasing him, drawing him out because he was cocky about his skills in bed. Now, he didn't think he could go back to those desperate fucks that hurt so much at first, that had him stumbling over jeans that hadn't even made it past his knees. 

He wished he could tell Lance all of it. He wished he could be as good with words as Lance was and be able to tell him how much he appreciated every little thing about him that was different. If he could, then maybe Lance would see why no amount of apologies and change of hearts from any previous relationship would take Keith away from him. 

Keith wasn't good at finding a gray area in the aspects of life. Shiro told him all the time, and Keith had told Lance at one point. He'd felt comfortable in the state he was in, with one night stands every weekend and keeping anyone who wasn't his family at arm's length. Even Lance charmed his way into his life, Keith had every intention of indulging it for a few weeks as he waited out the inevitable end. 

At some point, that changed. At some point Keith had gone from being totally adamant about letting Lance go when he wanted to leave to wanting to keep him, wanting to make Lance want to stay. He was totally and completely infatuated with Lance and the cute way he ate and the magic of his words and cheesy lines he said to make Keith laugh and the slow deliberate way he touched him. 

He moved Lance's head away from his shoulder, cupping his face. Lance was gradually building up speed, each thrust leaving Keith a little more breathless. “Lance?” 

“Yeah?” He slowed his movements, and ran his fingers through his hair. “What is it?” 

Keith traced his finger over Lance's lips, feeling the warmth breaths ghost over them. “I won't go anywhere if you don't either.” 

Blue eyes scanned his face for a moment before a gentle smile spread on his face, dimple and all. “I already told you I wouldn't.” 

Keith nodded. “Good.” 

Lance chuckled and leaned down to kiss him so hard, Keith felt lightheaded. Time was a distant concept as Lance built him up higher and higher, every movement so gradual and gentle that Keith felt like he was going crazy. His hands touched wherever he could, and every kiss made his heart pound harder. 

They breathless, shaking, and sweaty. The room was significantly quiet in light of their sounds just moments earlier- the bed frame, the sound of their bodies, their voices hitching on the other’s name between moans. Now it was just their panting breaths and pounding hearts. Lance was resting his head on Keith’s shoulder as Keith’s hand coursed through his hair. 

“You okay?” Lance whispered. Keith hummed in affirmation. “Lemme catch my breath and I’ll help you clean up.” Keith hummed again, sleepily as he rubbed up and down Lance’s arm which was draped over his torso. Lance chuckled and tilted his head up toward him. “D’you forget how to talk, principe?” 

Keith shook his head. “No. Just sleepy. And warm.” Lance laughed softly and hugged him tighter.

There was a lot Keith still didn’t know about Lance and their dynamic, but one thing he did know was that no one had ever made him feel as content, safe, and comfortable as Lance did. 

Chapter Text

Being home felt nostalgic. It was always that way. Even though school was only an hour away, coming back felt like being a visitor. 

“ Mi amor, what do you want for dinner tonight?” Lance's mother asked after he'd put his bags in his old room. 

“Anything as long as you make it, Mami. I've missed your cooking.” 

“ Bueno, if you came home more often, you wouldn't have to miss it, tesoro.” 

Lance sighed and gave her a smile. She touched his cheek lightly and went into the kitchen. From the couch, Veronica whistled and gestured him over. 

He sat beside her as she flipped through the guide on the TV, looking for something to catch her attention. “How's everyone over there?” she asked. It was a broad enough question to ask in front of his mom, but Lance knew what she meant. 

“Good. Hunk and Pidge aren't coming until Thanksgiving day so they can work on some papers and projects. Keith said his parents are going over to his house for dinner.” 

Veronica nodded. She hesitated before her next question. “Are you… gonna go see Coran?” 

“Of course. I already told Romelle I'd stop by tomorrow.” 

Veronica’s eyes flirted toward the kitchen before her voice dropped. “Does Keith know?” 

With a grimace, Lance shook his head. “I'm still… trying to figure out how to explain it all. But I will. Eventually.” Veronica gave him a dubious look and Lance rolled his eyes. “Ma doesn't know anything, does she? About Keith, I mean.” 

She shook her head. “I haven't said anything.” Lance nodded and gave her a grateful smile. “I think she's wondering about me though because I keep telling her about all these bisexual singers and actors. She gave me a funny look last time I mentioned Michelle Rodriguez is no. Like come on, she loves those fast and furious movies, and she can't tell?” Lance tried to stifle a laugh at that. “You think you'll tell them this week?” 

“God, no. I feel like I'll ruin Thanksgiving.” Veronica gave him a reprimanding look, but before she could protest, he said, “Look, it's that movie you like about the lovebirds with cancer.” 

Then, just as he expected, she punched his shoulder. “You can pretend to hate The Fault In Our Stars all you want, but I will always remember how much you cried the first time you watched it, flaco.” 

It was hard trying to get rid of the heavy feeling that came from being home. It wasn’t that Lance didn’t like being home; he loved it. He loved getting a chance to catch up with his siblings over a drink from Starbucks or greeting his dad when he came home from work or just getting the chance to sit with his mom on the couch while she watched recording of her favorite soap opera from the night before. He looked forward to all of it. 

He also looked forward to seeing Coran and Romelle. They were like extended family, and they were important to Lance. But there was no denying the melancholy that came from seeing them too. Each time Lance went to see Coran, there were as many tears as there were smiles and laughter. 

In short, it was usually emotionally exhausting to be home. If Lance was completely honest with himself, he was also carrying a lot of guilt about Keith. About seeing him behind his parents’ backs, about going to see Coran when he was with Keith, about not telling Keith he was going to be seeing Coran. 

He was keeping secrets from Keith, from his family, and it even felt like he was keeping a secret from Allura. The flurry of emotions made it feel like he had so much happening. He tried to remind himself to take it step by step. He just had to get through dinner that night. He could worry about everything else as it happened. 

Keith called a little after dinner. Mama was doing dishes and Papa was taking a shower. Veronica was on her computer. Lance ducked into his room and answered with a soft, “ Hola, mi koala.” 

He laughed as he heard Keith groan on the other end. “Here I thought we’d gotten rid of that nickname.” Lance rolled his eyes, even though Keith couldn’t see him. “So how’s your first night back home? Are you happy?” 

“Yeah, definitely,” he said with all the honesty in the world. “I love coming home to see my family. And it was good. It was a lot of hugs today. I still have to see my brothers, they’ll probably stop by tomorrow. How are things on your end?” 

“Well, it hasn’t even been a full day and Shiro’s already teasing me about not being with you. I’m two seconds away from hitting him over the head with a pan.” Lance laughed and shook his head. “Okay, well I just wanted to… you know, check on you.” 

“Uh-uh, what were you gonna say?” Lance asked, noting the hesitance and the way the words trailed off. 

“Nothing!” 

“Liar.” 

There was a huff on the other end before Keith answered, “I was just gonna say I wanted to hear your voice….” He said it softly, and Lance felt his cheeks heat up instantly. “Hello?” 

“Yeah! I’m here, sorry. Just flustered,” he said with a laugh. “That was… aha, that was unexpected and I’m- oh my God.” He smiled at the floor, imagining that Keith’s face might be just as red as his own. “You’re cheesy, you know that?” 

“Oh you have got to be kidding me, you are way cheesier and-” Lance started laughing too loud to hear what Keith was saying, and eventually Keith joined in. “Yeah. I guess it’s easier to be cheesy with you. But you definitely have me beat in terms of cheesiness.” 

“See, now I’m craving pizza.” 

“Didn’t you just eat?” 

“What’s your point?” 

Keith laughed, and Lance could picture him rolling his eyes. “Alright, well, I gotta sit and eat my dinner, so… I’ll talk to you later?” 

“Sounds good. Buenas noches, mi principe,” he said softly. 

He couldn’t help the smile on his face as he laid back on his bed. It was almost unbelievable the way they had changed from the first time they met. Lance still remembered how closed off and cold Keith was at first, how he seemed to be suspicious of everything and anything Lance said or did. He remembered the hesitance in each touch, the caution behind the things he said to Keith. 

Now it was so different. He was still Keith, still stubborn, impatient, temperamental at times…. But overall, he was… softer. It was the best word for it. And Lance noticed it was only ever with him. When he was with Shiro, he was a little more playful. When he was with his dance group, he was a little more stoic, still trying to figure out the right way to be their captain. 

Meanwhile Lance got to see every shy smile, the blush he stopped trying to hide, the light touches and the way he leaned into Lance’s touch now. He got to see the version of Keith that craved to touch and be touched whether with soft blankets and a movie or  under the moonlight that filtered through the window onto his mattress. 

The progression was slow, so it took moments like these in which Lance missed him and found himself smiling stupidly at nothing for him to realize how drastically different everything was. And all in a little over two months. 

“Whatcha smilin’ at?” Veronica said in a singsong voice. Lance lifted his head and saw her standing at his door. 

“Nothing, what’s up?” he asked, the smile still plastered on his face. 

Veronica eyed him suspiciously, but she didn’t pry. “Do you wanna watch a movie with me? I’ve been meaning to show you this one I think you’ll love.” 

Lance chuckled and nodded. “Sure, let me just get into more comfortable clothes.” 

“Sweet, I’ll start the popcorn.” 

---

The next day felt like a routine, despite the fact that it had been a few months since Lance had come home. He woke up to the smell of coffee, the sound of his dad leaving for work, the sound of Despierta America on the living room TV. He turned over and fell back asleep until Veronica managed to flip him off the bed to wake him up and eat breakfast. Then he caught up on a recording of a soap opera that his mami liked, mostly asking questions because he was completely lost. 

By the afternoon, though, he was in his car and driving down the familiar route to Allura’s house. Coran’s house. He parked in the driveway, staring at the large garden beside it, sectioned off by a gate. A metal long chair that had been painted white before was now rusting slightly, but remained sturdy beneath a magnolia tree in the center of the garden. Next to it was a matching cart with a netted pattern. 

Lance could almost picture Allura sitting there in her favorite tank top, her paint splattered jeans, and sandals, under the shade of the large leaves and branches. He remembered filling the cart with their books, reading some of each others’ favorites under summer sun or even in the brisk early stages of Texas winter. Glasses of iced tea or fresh limonada on the cart in the summer or mugs of chocolate Abuelita or champurrado in the winter. 

At that moment, magnolia leaves were strewn in shades of brown around the garden. The rose bushes were withered from the colder temperatures. The grass was a little overgrown. Lance walked to the gate entrance and took a deep breath. 

He went to the door and rang the doorbell, trying to balance out the mix of heaviness and lightheadedness. 

It took a few moments before the door creaked open and Lance was staring at a red-haired man dressed like he’d just been at church. 

“Lance! My boy, it’s good to see you!” Coran exclaimed, bringing Lance into a hug. He smelled like peppermints and cigars. Lance hugged him back just as tightly. For a second, he thought he felt Coran shaking, but when he pulled back a few moments later, he seemed fine. “I’d begun to wonder about you. Come in, come in!” He ushered Lance inside where flowers lined the large window sill on the wall by the door.

The place hadn’t changed at all. Each time Lance had been there, it looked the same. The one thing that changed was the TV that went from a thick version to a flat screen that was mounted on the wall. And the flowers. The flowers bloomed and sprouted in different intervals, and they were the one sign of change in the house. At that moment, Lance noticed three different pots with the same pink bromeliad flowers- Allura’s favorite. The rest blended them in, but no other flower appeared in more than one pot except those. 

Under the television was a long wooden table with a series of photos in addition to those on the walls. Pictures of Allura’s parents, Coran’s late wife, Romelle’s graduation photo, a few photos of her and Allura as kids, a framed art piece Allura had made him, and even a photo of Lance with Allura around Christmas time. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t call first,” Lance said as he took a seat on one of the couches. 

“Nonsense, you know you’re always welcome. I hate phone calls anyway.” Coran sat on the couch perpendicular to him and took out his cigar kit. 

“Romelle’s not home?” Lance knew Romelle hated when Coran smoked inside. Allura hated it too, but Lance knew Coran often smoked when he had the house to himself. 

Coran chuckled. “No, you just missed her. She went to the mall with some friends. So tell me, how’s school been? How are your friends?” 

“School’s been good. I’ve got mostly A’s, one B. Ready to graduate, I think. One more semester to go. Pidge and Hunk are good. I told them I was coming earlier and they said to tell you hi.” Coran smiled at that. “What about you, how have you been?” 

He let out a puff of smoke away from Lance, left to dissipate in the living room. “I’ve been well. Retirement is suiting me. Mostly, I just try to keep busy and tend to the garden and the flowers. Romelle keeps me company in the evenings and television never ceases to amaze me.” Lance laughed, and Coran smiled back at him. “Have you got anything new for me to read?” 

That made Lance’s smile drop. “Ah. No…. I haven’t written. Unless you want to read a paper about the efficiency of globalization through media that I did for my history class.” 

Coran raised an eyebrow, not laughing at the joke. “Nothing? Not even a haiku?” Lance shook his head sheepishly. “I thought you were starting to consider song-writing.” 

“That didn’t last. Not with… everything. I just haven’t been able to write. It’s kind of nice though, I have more time to read.” 

Coran regarded him for a while. “My boy, have you put your life on hold?” Lance furrowed his eyebrows, unsure of what he meant. “When I met you, you told me you wanted to be a writer. And you were surprised when I told you to bring me your first published copy and any drafts you wanted another set of eyes for.” It was true. Lance had nervously admitted his career plans, fully expecting to be scoffed at or brushed aside or maybe told to have another option that was more realistic like his father had told him. “If you’re not writing anymore, what are you planning to do?”

Lance sighed and looked away. His eyes landed on the pink flowers by the window. He felt a knot in his throat that made it impossible to breathe or swallow. “It’s just… hard. Once she was gone, I couldn’t write about anything that wasn’t that moment. I was stuck in the misery of losing her for months. I told myself not to write anything about it again, so I could move on-”

“But you haven’t.” Lance’s eyes flickered to Coran, filled with tears that blurred his vision. “You haven’t moved on from that moment. Because that moment is keeping you from writing.”

Lance didn’t respond to that. For a long while, it was silent. Lance didn’t want to talk until he could be certain his voice wouldn’t shake. Coran waited patiently, occasionally puffing on his cigar. It felt like everything was crashing onto him. 

He thought of how he hadn’t managed to write anything since he told himself not to write about Allura. About how refusing to write about her felt like an insult to her, but writing about her would feel like an insult to Keith. Then he began to think about those moments when something tried to string together in his brain when he was with Keith, but it never managed to form. Because he felt like it would be wrong to turn his poetry to someone new. Because he was terrified Allura would bleed into his words for Keith. 

And that spiraled into a heavy feeling of guilt for being in the house he’d spent so much time with Allura in, with their picture staring him in the face, missing her while being involved with Keith. He felt bad for not telling Keith, for not telling Coran that Keith was even in his life. He felt horrible for wishing Allura could be there, holding him, whispering assurances. 

His body shook with the effort it took for him not to fall apart. But with the few runaway tears that left wet marks on his jeans served as the breaking of the dam. A few tears turned into an incessant stream of them, and Lance was unable to fathom how his body had managed to break within one moment to the next.

Coran put his cigar away and moved to sit beside him, offering a tissue box. “How do you- how do you do it?” Lance asked between gasps for breath. “I lose Allura and I feel like I’m still trying to piece my life back together. You- you’ve lost so much more, and-” Lance buried his face in his hands. “God, everything just hurts so much.” 

“Maybe it’s a survival instinct. I don’t know. Each loss takes a part of me, Lance. You don’t stop missing them. The pain doesn’t go away. You think I don’t still cry for my wife? Or Allura? You think Romelle doesn’t?” Coran sighed and looked down at his hands. “I understand that you’re in pain. And I understand that she’s still in a lot of the things you do. But I worry about you.” Lance looked at him, trying to dry his face with his sleeves. “I worry that you might always live in this loss. You’re so young, you have so much to experience. You have words to write that no one else will ever be able to write. You have a heart that can still welcome someone new. You have so many possibilities that you otherwise close yourself off from. I know in my heart that Allura never wanted that for you.” 

“I know she wouldn’t,” Lance whispered. “But I’m… so scared that….” Lance shook his head and wiped at his eyes angrily, only for more tears to fill them. There was too much he was afraid of. He couldn’t fit it into a cohesive sentence. 

Coran didn’t say anything. He waited for Lance to figure out his words. He offered tissues when Lance’s own thoughts led to more sudden tears. 

“She was one of my best friends,” he whispered, his voice cracking at the end. “I miss her so much.” 

“I know,” Coran said. His voice shook, which helped Lance not feel so stupid. “You’re not leaving her behind by living out the rest of your life, my boy. I’m sure that even if you were my age, married, with kids… her memory would still be with you. But it won’t be so painful. It’ll be a comfort.” He placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Her memory isn’t meant to hold you back, you know?” 

“But she’s in everything,” Lance said helplessly. “I can’t write without her trying to replace the ink in my pen. Even with someone else-” Lance cut himself off, feeling like he’d said a curse word in church. He looked away and clenched his jaw, willing for Coran not to have heard it. 

It was quiet again. But Lance’s panic had taken over, keeping the tears at bay. “Have you started dating again?” 

The question sounded… hopeful. Which wasn’t what Lance was expecting. He shook his head. “Not… dating exactly….” 

Coran hummed. “But you’ve met someone?” 

A feeling of longing filled his chest as he thought of Keith and his wisteria colored eyes. He nodded slowly. “The first person I’ve wanted this badly since I lost Allura.” He let out a humorless chuckle. “When we’re together, I feel normal… okay. Everything’s bright again. I can breathe. But when we’re apart… I feel like I’m constantly holding this voice back, constantly trying to drown it out.”

“Voice?” Lance wasn’t sure how to explain it without sounding like a lunatic. “Is this voice by chance telling you that you shouldn’t be opening up to someone new?”

Lance looked at Coran with tears streaming down his face. He felt like he was collapsing in on himself, and he was only vaguely aware of Coran’s arms around him as he shook. “I loved her,” he sobbed. “I still do, and I don't think it will ever go away. I don't want it to. But I feel like I'm lying or-or hurting someone. If I still love her, how can I let this person into my life, but if I do let him become that someone who I can start over with, does that mean I'm forgetting Allura? How do I even explain, how could any of this ever get answered if she's gone, she's-” 

Clean shushed him as he cried into his sweater sleeves, finding it hard to breathe. 

“I think it's time I told you what she said to me when she was in the hospital,” Coran said with a voice that was barely a whisper. Lance felt himself shake some more. “Do you remember the day you left to bring her one of her books?”

Lance nodded. “She wanted me to read to her.” 

Coran nodded and shifted so he could face Lance better. “She also wanted you out of the room.” Lance frowned, staring at him in confusion. “That day, as soon as you’d left, she turned to me said, ‘Uncle you’ll have to help him.’” Lance started shaking his head stubbornly, his lip quivering as more tears gathered in his eyes. “She said, ‘Don’t let him be alone. Don’t let him forget-’ ah, what was it she’d said?” He thought for a second and smiled. “‘Don’t let him forget how big his heart can be.’” Coran sniffed and wiped at his eyes. “She knew you’d be conflicted the day you fell for someone new. But she said, whenever that happened, I was to tell you it was okay. Because she said anyone lucky enough to experience a taste of your love deserves the full experience. Like she had.” 

Lance couldn’t stop gasping for breath. He hadn’t cried this badly since the day of her funeral. He couldn’t even talk, and he couldn’t stop shaking his head. Coran’s calloused hand settled over his own, keeping it from shaking. 

“Your heart, and the way you feel things to the fullest is what’s made you a writer, my boy. And I know, just like Allura did, that your heart is big enough to fall in love with someone else without erasing her from it. You deserve to experience those things again, Lance. And this… person must be very special if you’re tearing yourself up this way. But you’ve done nothing wrong. You’ve done exactly what she hoped you would.” 

It was exactly the kind of thing Allura would do. She’d tried to tell him herself once, but Lance told her to stop talking like her life was over. He wouldn’t listen to her goodbyes. He refused to hear her talk about Lance being with someone else when he’d already imagined their entire life together. He needed her to believe she would walk out of the hospital too. 

But she had made one request. She’d asked Lance to check on her uncle now and then. 

“He gets lonely. I don’t want him to be lonely. I told Mellie the same thing. He likes your writing. You should send them to him when you visit home.” Lance had kissed her forehead and promised he would annoy Coran to the ends of his days and she’d giggled at him. 

So it made sense that she’d asked Coran to do the same for him. 

It took a while before he could compose himself again. A handful of tissues later, he managed to make the tears stop. Now his eyes burned and he kept sniffing, but… there was something peaceful in his heart. He’d asked for some way to know for certain that he didn’t need to feel guilty, and now he had it. In Allura’s own words. 

“Funny,” he murmured. “She still knows all the right things to say.” 

Coran laughed, and it turned into a half-sob midway. He nodded and wiped at his eyes. “Yes, it would seem so.” He let out a sigh and let the silence settle for a bit. “So what’s his name?” 

“What?” 

Coran smiled at him. “This person you’ve started to fall for.” Lance stared at Coran, speechless and slightly panicked. His body heat spiked and he tried to figure out something to say.

“H-how-?” 

“You mentioned a ‘him’ earlier. Unless I misheard?” 

Again, Lance felt like a gaping fish, his mouth opening and closing, trying to figure out what to respond. He could have easily said Coran misheard, like he'd suggested. In fact, a large part of him planned to. The words in his head were no no no, I said them not him. 

Instead what came out of his mouth was, “His name is Keith.” 

Coran hummed and raised an eyebrow. “I see. And what do you like about Keith?” 

Lance scoffed and sniffed. “Lots of things. I like how his nose scrunches up when he smiles at me. How he's a quiet movie watcher. I like how he plays with my hair sometimes. How stubborn he can be. How sweet he is. He comes off as really distant and y’know this tough guy with a hard exterior….” Lance shook his head and smiled at his hands. “But he's a softie. He likes hugs and he blushes a lot and he saved a puppy from a dumpster then named it Kosmo with a K so it would match his name.” Lance wiped his eyes as he looked across the living room to the photo of him and Allura. “But I feel like I'm still tip-toeing around him sometimes.” 

“He doesn't know about Allura?” Now Coran sounded surprised.

Lance shook his head. “I don't know how to tell him. Or when. We'd argued about it before. He didn't know about my poetry and my sister said something and it just spiraled-” 

“Well you were keeping something huge from him. You didn't tell him about a huge part of who you are. And now you're not telling him about a huge part of your life. You will always feel like you're holding back if you're not honest, Lance.” 

“I know, I know, I….” Lance laughed and put his head in his hands. “You know when I knocked on your door I wasn't expecting to come out to you. Much less for your reaction to be so calm.” He took a deep breath and tried to sit up straighter. “My parents don't even know. They don't know that I'm interested in someone. Much less that it's a boy.”

“Well, yes, coming out can be very difficult. For a number of reasons.” 

Lance furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Coran. There was something about the way he said it. About the calmness in his voice when talking to Lance about it. “Are… you…?” 

Crow’s feet appeared in the corner of Coran’s eyes. His moustache tried to hide his smile, but the lines of his face gave it away. “High school sweetheart. His name was Alexander Laurens.” 

“I- I-” Lance stammered and resorted to nervous laughter. “Oh wow. I mean- I thought….” 

“Yes, many people did when I got married. She knew about him. Romelle does too.” Lance laughed, this time more out of shock as he ran his hand through his hair. “You should know, that if anything goes wrong at home, you will always be welcomed here, my boy. But I'm fairly certain it won't come to that.” 

The words “thank you” didn’t seem like enough. Not when Coran had said everything Lance needed to hear and more. Not when his company had eased some of the heaviness in his chest from his visit home. Lance hadn’t realized how badly he needed an adult to tell him he was okay, that it was all okay, and it would all be okay. 

Instead of talking, Lance leaned over and wrapped his arms around him, finding comfort in the peppermint and cigar scent that clung to his clothes. It was a rare thing for someone to say the very words you needed in a moment. 

He was allowed to miss her. He was allowed to still love her. And think about her. But he knew she would kick his ass if he let doing those things stop him from living his life as well as he could. He could also let Keith in. He could maybe one day fall in love with him and love him as much as possible without it making his love for Allura any less. He could be happy without being guilty. 

“I don’t know how to express what this means to me,” he finally said before pulling back. 

Coran smiled at him again and nodded. “I understand. Just keep visiting me. And bring me a poem some time.” Lance chuckled and shrugged, forcing his immediate dismissive response back. Maybe. Maybe was better. “In the meantime, come join me in the kitchen. I want to have some food prepared for when Romelle comes and I’d like to hear about your classes as well as this boy.” 

He stood up and headed to the kitchen with Lance at his heels. He began taking things out of the fridge and pantry, occasionally having Lance get pans for him or other ingredients he forgot. As Lance told him about the day Veronica met Keith, he peeled potatoes for him. 

It was strangely natural talking about Keith to him. There was no faltering in Coran’s responses, no hesitation around the pronouns. He didn’t talk about Keith as much as he wanted to, though. It just didn’t feel right to him to tell Coran all of this when he still hadn’t told his parents. 

It was a terrifying idea, of course, but Lance at least wanted to give them a chance. It was nice to have adult validate him this way. To help him feel like this was just another minor detail, not some huge revelation or something to make a big fuss about. It was relaxing. A relief. 

After Lance explained the plot of the latest Netflix hit to him, Coran asked, “Are you staying to eat? You can eat now, I’m sure Romelle won’t be too much longer.” 

“No, it’s okay. My siblings and I are getting dinner together to catch up before Thanksgiving tomorrow. It’ll be a full house tomorrow.” Lance smiled at him. “And you and Romelle are still invited this year.” 

“Oh, I appreciate that, my boy, but it’s fine. Romelle and I have our own little dinner to do.” Lance nodded and started for the front door with Coran. “Give Hunk and Pidge a hug for me when you see them. And don’t forget- my home is always open to you whenever you may need it.” 

Lance smiled and and nodded. “Thank you so much. For everything. I really thought this would be the time I came over and didn’t cry.” 

Coran laughed lightly and shook his head. “No, no, it’s fine. It’s all part of healing. Have a safe drive, okay? And keep working hard in school.” 

“I will. I’ll try to stop by again before I head back, but if not I’ll be back on your doorstep when I get back for winter break.” He waved as he headed out the door. It was significantly colder outside, and he tugged his jacket tighter around himself.

He started his car and waited for it to heat up a little, staring at the garden again. He and Allura used to extend their goodbyes to the gate, smiling and kissing over the top. They always found something to linger a little longer, and Lance always tested how many more goodbye kisses he could get before she laughed and nudged him, telling him to get going before it got dark. 

“We’ll have plenty of time for kisses tomorrow,” she’d say with a smile. 

Lance smiled at that memory as he took a deep breath. He let it out slowly and shut his eyes. Then he whispered, “I still miss you. I can’t believe you’re still looking out for me, morena. ” He chuckled and pulled out of the driveway to head back home. 

The peace and quiet of the moment didn’t last. As soon as he got home, he heard Marco and Luis arguing over each other with Veronica shouting over them to argue another point. He had no idea what it was about, but the laughter between words and the smiles on their faces told him it was just another round of banter. His mother was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, watching and insisting they lower their voices, but she was also laughing at them. 

Once they realized Lance had walked in, they broke away from their argument and greeted him with shouts of, “Hey there he is!” and “ Oye, nunca cambias, flaco!” His brothers got out from around the table and engulfed him in hugs. The kind of hugs they never used to give each other unless serious things happened. The kind of hugs that become normal after Lance left for college. 

Then Marco got him into a headlock and it was like they were little kids again. “Dammit, Marco!” Lance snapped, grunting as he tried to free himself. “You have kids now, man, why are you like this?” 

“You’re still my baby brother, pende-”

“ Oye! Don’t call your brother that!” Mama snapped immediately, giving Marco a warning glare. 

“Sorry, Ma.” Marco turned his attention back to Lance, still keeping him trapped. “So? How’s life our little college boy?”

“How much you got left?” Luis asked. 

“I can probably graduate next December. I have senior standing even though I’m a junior.”

“Damn, dude. Not just first gen, but early grad too? Nice.” Luis smiled at him, and Lance noticed a hint of pride in his eyes, similar to when he’d won first place in a swim meet in middle school. Even though he only teased Lance over his speedo. 

He smiled back, but was still preoccupied with trying to get Marco to let him go. 

“Alright, let him go, I’m hungry,” Veronica said, coming to his rescue. “Anyone else craving pancakes?” A chorus of hungry yeses filled the dining room and Marco finally let go. “Alright, Mami, al rato llegamos.”

The four of them went over to kiss her cheek before heading out the door with her reminding them to have fun and call if anything happened. 

Without fail, they quickly became the loudest table at the nearest Denny’s. It was inevitable with them, laughter and arguments and years of habitual speaking mannerisms. Lance found himself continuously switching between English and Spanish quicker and more often than usual, found himself talking louder than he tended to in school, and even faster than he usually did in English. 

It was a moment of relief, of his body and mind realizing he was home.

Marco’s kids were with their maternal grandparents so they could spend all of Thanksgiving with the McClain side the next day. Marco said Nadia had a project in school about what she wanted to be when she grew up and she'd said she wanted to go to a college like her uncle Lance and aunt Vero. Lance tried not to tear up at that, but Luis teased him for the way he choked up at that anyway. 

Veronica and Lance talked about their classes and the struggle of finding a job that was flexible enough for bizarre class schedules. 

Then Luis brought up his girlfriend and how they were coming up on their one year anniversary soon. 

“I was thinking, you know…. I really love her and… I don't know. I think I wanna ask her to marry me.” The clatter of silverware stopped. Chewing stopped. The three other siblings froze, staring at Luis expectantly, waiting for a sign that he might be pulling their leg. Instead, his eyes flickered to each of them. “What? Too soon? You don't like her? What?” 

“No, no, no! We love Maya. It’s just.... You’re serious,” Veronica realized. He nodded.

“You’re getting married?” Lance asked. He would be the first. Marco still hadn’t gotten married, and while Mami had been upset about it at first especially when they started having kids, it wasn’t too big a deal. This was huge, especially since Luis was known for never wanting to get married. 

“I mean no. Not yet. Not soon. I still need to ask. But it’s… something I’ve considered.” 

“Well shit,” Marco said with a laugh as he reached over to punch Luis’ shoulder. “That’s great news, man. Have you told Mama and Papa?” 

Luis shook his head. “You guys are the first to know.” 

“ Aw!” Veronica pinched his cheek and he swatted her away. 

“Man. It’s so crazy to think that we’re all… grown up, you know? Kids, marriage, college. Shit,” Lance mused, more to himself than anything. 

“Yeah, hard to think that 10 years ago you were trying to eat raw chiles so you could grow a moustache, huh?” Luis teased. 

“That was your fault! You said it helped!” 

“ No te preocupes, manito, at least you didn’t wet the bed until you were seven,” Veronica said. Luis covered his face and threw a crumpled up napkin at Veronica. 

“You wanna play dirty? Alright, then-”

Instead of catching up, they began reminiscing. All those moments in their childhood when they argued over the remote and didn’t hug because they swore they annoyed each other and taking the last pack of Gusher gummies was the worst thing they could do to each other. Veronica recalled when Lance would braid her hair for school. Marco remembered when Luis had first come home heartbroken over a girl. Luis remembered Lance’s first poetry journal. Lance remembered waking up to Marco putting money under his pillow for his tooth and pretending to still be asleep. They remembered arguments, like when Marco had cut a chunk of Veronica’s hair or when Luis punched Marco in the face in a fight for the first and last time, or when Lance got mad at Marco for coming home late and scaring Mami. 

“God bless our parents ,” Veronica said with a smile and a shake of her head. “We were a handful.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin and stood up. “Be right back.” 

As soon as she was gone, Marco kicked his leg under the table. “Okay, you’ve got about three minutes to spill before she gets back.” 

“What?” 

“Catch us up, man. Latest parties? What happened to that Nyla chick?” 

“Nyma? What about her?” His brothers stared at him with confused expressions. “We’re friends.” 

“With benefits,” Luis snorted.

“Oh, n-n-no!” Lance shook his head and laughed nervously. “No. That- that ended a while ago.” 

Marco raised an eyebrow at him. “Did you go for someone else? Was she trying to be official or something?” 

“Wh- no? No, I just… stopped. We’re not doing that anymore, we’re just friends. Really. No new fuck buddy or anything, just….” He shrugged and gestured pointlessly with his hands. 

Marco and Luis looked at each other then at Lance. “Oh. Okay then. Cool,” Luis said. 

They were awkwardly quiet until Veronica came back a few moments later. “What’s with the weird looks?” she asked. 

“Lance has a girlfriend he’s not telling us about,” Marco supplied. Veronica choked on her water and spit it back into her cup. 

“What? No I don’t!” 

“Well someone made you want to settle down and stop all the flings, so if you’re not dating her, you’re at least very interested in her,” Marco said. Luis nodded in agreement. “So… what’s her name? Is she in your class?” 

Lance wanted to scream. He wanted to flip the fucking table. He hated the panic that infiltrated his chest the second people started throwing female pronouns around. He hated that the default expectation was that he’d be with a girl. He hated that he felt frozen under their eyes, teasing without realizing the actual fear and anxiety they just unleashed in him. 

Without another word, he stood from the table and bolted. He noticed a few other people at different tables glance over at him, and the awkward hush that had fallen over his own table. But he kept walking. The anxiety in him was manifesting as energy he needed to let out, and if that meant opening the door a little too hard, then so be it. He went outside and walked around to the side of the diner to sit on the curb. 

He put his head in his hands and tried to take a deep breath. In that moment, he wanted to talk to Keith. He wanted to hear his voice and let it wash over him and calm him down. He wanted his hugs, and that reassuring kiss he liked to give him on his forehead before using his thumb to smooth out the crease between his eyes. 

But Keith wasn’t there. That was the hard reality, and wishing for him after being too scared to tell his brothers about him felt stupid. His mind began racing with worst case scenarios. 

What if Marco kept the kids away from him? What if they cancelled on Thanksgiving dinner? What if Luis stopped talking to him and didn’t even invite him to the wedding? 

Were those things Lance could actually imagine his brothers doing? No. Not after all those laughs as the ate pancakes at eight o'clock at night. Not after all those memories and the hugs they gave him when they first saw him. But they were very real fears in his heart. He had no idea what his family thought of same-sex relationships. For all he knew, it could be the worst imaginable thing to them.

“Lance?” He tensed when he felt a hand on his shoulders. Veronica sat beside him and he could hear Luis and Marco’s steps as they stood behind them. “ Flaco,” she insisted, tugging at his shoulder gently. 

He took a breath and picked his head up. “Yeah. Yeah?” 

Veronica’s eyes held everything. The worry, the understanding, the promise of a secret. Even the apologies on behalf of their brothers because they didn’t know any better at that moment. 

“We weren’t trying to upset you, man. We were just messing around,” Marco said behind him. 

“Yeah. We didn’t even think it might have bothered you because of Allura. We didn’t know you went to see Coran until Vero told us,” Luis added. 

“That’s not-” Lance sighed and swallowed his words. He wasn’t angry with his brothers. They didn’t know. How were they supposed to? It was… everything else. Everything he didn’t want to explain to them the night before Thanksgiving. “I know. It’s cool, don’t worry about it. I didn’t mean to… barge out like that.” 

“Come on. Yeah you did,” Luis said with a smile. “You’ve always had a flair for the dramatic.” 

Lance chuckled at that and Marco sat beside him on the curb. “We’re sorry for pushing.” 

“It’s cool. It’s what siblings do,” Lance said. He felt Veronica squeeze his shoulder again. “Sorry for… ruining the mood.” 

“Ah, family gathering are never really family gatherings without an awkward moment, right?” Marco said. “Come on, let’s get back to Mami’s.”

They got off the ground and Luis threw an arm around his shoulders, jostling him playfully. “We good?” Lance smiled and nodded. “Cool. And hey, next time we’re pushing too much… just tell us, okay? We’ll stop.” 

Once again biting his tongue, Lance faked a smile and nodded. “Okay. I will. Thanks.” 

Despite the fact that his brothers apologized and had picked the banter back up in the car, Lance’s heart wasn’t in it. He was too wrapped in his own head now. He passed it off as being tired, and his brothers pretended to believe it. 

They left a little later, and Lance quickly dashed into the shower before going to bed so he could avoid anymore heart to heart talks. As he laid in bed, he checked his phone and saw a text from Keith. 

Hey pretty boy. Haven’t heard from you today you doing okay?

Lance smiled to himself, his heart fluttering. A check up text wasn’t something Keith would’ve sent when they first met. It was nice to know Lance was important to him now. 

Yeah, im good babe. Sorry. Just been all over the place today visiting people and all. How was your day?

Lance stayed up a few more hours talking with Keith. For those moments, secluded in his room with Keith keeping him company through the phone, Lance felt better. He wasn’t so focused on the anxiety of coming out to brothers and his parents. He wasn’t worried about what would happen after. He was just there, smiling at the things Keith said, and feeling flustered beyond belief. 

He started falling asleep at some point, and barely managed to send a goodnight text before his eyelids became too heavy. 

The following day, like any holiday in the McClain household, everyone was up before nine. Lance wasn’t particularly fond of it, but Veronica loved the chance to toss him onto the floor to wake him up. After eating some carnitas his dad brought home, his mama and Veronica started cleaning the house while his papa whisked him away to the yard. 

“Wanna clean out the garage or mow the lawn?” he asked as he opened the garage door. 

“I can mow,” Lance offered. His dad smiled and rolled the lawn mower out. Before Lance even managed to get it going, he saw his dad bring out a cooler. “Pa, you know Mami doesn’t like for you to drink when we’re gonna have a big dinner,” Lance shouted over the motor. 

His dad conveniently pretended not to hear him. 

After mowing the grass, Lance still had to help with what was left of the garage. But his dad also let him sneak a beer of his own while they worked. Lance listened to his father sing along with a booming voice to the Spanish music on the speaker he had. It was fun to see because his dad liked to dance in place sometimes as he cleaned, his feet skidding along to the music. Lance knew it was one of the things that swept his mom off her feet. She loved how he danced, how he could twirl and spin her to the songs that played endlessly. He’d heard her tell the story of falling in love with him.

“Pa?” His dad hummed in question before drinking more out of his beer bottle. “How’d you fall for Mami?” 

“ Como? Where did that come from?” 

Lance shrugged. “She always talks about how you’d take her dancing on dates. I’ve heard her version of how she fell in love, but I never asked yours.” 

His papa chuckled as he swept some of the mess out of the garage. “Well. I met her at a dance.” Lance knew that much. “She was in a pretty sparkly dress. You know how she loves sparkles.” Lance laughed and nodded. “Her hair though. All the girls had their hair curled, or tied up in a bun or in trenzas. Not your mom. Your mom had her hair loose, no braids, no curls. Just long, brown hair over her shoulders. I saw her and… I don’t know. I couldn’t look away. Algo de ella como que…. I just had to talk to her.” Lance looked up from the trash he was gathering to look at his father. 

There was a fond look in his eyes. A look that told Lance he was still just as in love as he had been when he was younger. A smile that made Lance long for that kind of connection. 

“So I did. I asked her to dance, and she said yes. The smile on her face each time I spun her was the most beautiful smile I’d seen in my life. We got some food from a food truck by the club we were at with the friends we went with. She kept laughing at everything I said, and I wasn’t even making jokes!” 

Lance smiled as he thought of the way his mom described the same moment. She’d said his father kept using all these flirty lines on her that she couldn’t take seriously. But she liked the way he made her laugh. 

“Her laugh was more beautiful than her smile. And I decided right then that I wanted to hear it again and again and again.” 

“You knew that fast that Mami was the one you’d marry?” Lance asked. 

“No. I knew she was the one I wanted to marry the day we had our first big fight.” Lance furrowed his eyebrows. He hadn’t heard this part. “ Me gustaba andar de mujeriego. At least until I met your mom. Well, one girl that lived a block away from me wasn’t very happy with that, and she made a big scene at my house while your mom was visiting. We’d been dating about six months. We ended up arguing that day. Really badly.” He shrugged and took a breath as he leaned against the broom handle. “I realized that even though we were mad at each other, and even though we said stupid things, I still wanted to be with her and only her. So I went to talk to her the next day and apologized. I proposed two months later.” 

Lance let out soft laugh as he stared at his father. He couldn’t believe that. He couldn’t believe the way people could make things work so fast. It was the kind of stuff that happened in TV shows, and yet it happened to his parents. “Wow. So you were a player, huh, Pa?” 

His dad laughed heartily and shook his head. “Answers vary.” 

“Oh yeah? How so?” 

“I would say yes. Your mami would say it was all talk.” Lance laughed and figured that sounded about right. “ Orale, pues, stop trying to get out of cleaning. We’re almost done, m’ijo.” 

Lance rolled his eyes, and nodded before taking the trash out to the bin. They snuck another beer in before going back inside once they were done. The smell of Fabuloso permeated the entire house. The kitchen was pristine, and there was music playing on the speaker in the living room. He could hear his mom and sister singing along to Enrique Iglesias from different parts of the house. 

Then Veronica came from the hallway with her hair up in a ponytail and pushed back with a headband. 

“How do you get sweaty from mopping?” Lance asked, noting the way her baby curls stuck to her forehead. Her eyes narrowed, and he immediately regretted speaking. “Never mind, never mind, I’m sorry!” 

“Uh-huh. Here, take this bathroom trash out.” She gave him the the bag and turned back down the hallway. Lance grimaced, but took it out quickly before getting back inside. 

With the garage, lawn, and house as clean as possible, they took turns taking a shower and getting ready. Mami and Veronica had to be first because they had to do their hair and their makeup. Lance was next because even though he didn’t use makeup, he did like to mess with his outfit and his hair. Papa was always the quickest to get ready, so he was the last. 

The turkey had been in the oven, and by the time Lance went to shower, the other side dishes were quickly made. About an hour later, Marco and his kids arrived. Then Luis with his girlfriend, Maya. Lance figured this was Luis’ way of alluding to the fact that he was thinking about marriage since he knew Mami had a rule about bringing people home. 

Nadia and Sylvio were very excited to see Lance, and they immediately tackled him onto the couch to hug him and torment him in the way six year old twins do. 

“Uncle! Uncle look! My toof fell out!” Nadia said, sliding her tongue where her canine tooth should’ve been. 

“Oh! It did! Gonna call you Chimuela now. Te trajo dinero el ratón?” he asked. Nadia nodded and held up her five fingers to show she had five dollars. “That’s awesome!” 

“Uncle Lance, look, I got Pikachu on Pokemon Go!” Sylvio said, showing him the phone he’d been given for his birthday from his mom’s side. He showed Lance the catalog of pokemon he had caught and how he named them all different things, speaking through a congested nose. 

Luis and Maya brought a green bean casserole and mofongo stuffing. Meanwhile Marco brought flan and a chocolate cake which he’d made with the kids. It was kind of funny seeing the mix of American and Hispanic foods. As the placemats were being set up and plates were taken out so people could serve themselves, and the food was arranged, Lance felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. 

He pulled it out to see Keith’s caller ID. He answered with a questioning, “Hello?” 

“Hey, pretty boy.” Oh, how Lance missed that voice. A smile immediately stretched across his face. “Busy?” 

“We’re getting ready to eat. What about you?” 

“Uncle Lance, are you gonna eat my cake?” Slyvio asked. 

“Yeah, little man of course. I just gotta eat real food. I’ll be right back, okay?” Sylvio nodded and Lance went out the front door so he could hear without the sound of his very loud family distracting him. He went to lean against the tailgate of his dad’s work truck. “Hey, sorry. Hispanic families getting ready to eat are always kind of hectic.” 

“It’s okay,” Keith answered with a light laugh. “It’s good that you’re having a good time. We actually already ate, and they’re getting ready for Black Friday.” Lance grimaced and groaned, which made Keith laugh a little more. “Yeah, I know. We’re those people. But anyway, I don’t want to keep you from your family and your food for too long, so…. Uh, I just wanted to let you know that…. Well, I know it’s not exactly the most romantic holiday or anything, but… I’m thankful for you this year. For sticking around and… you know, proving me wrong in the best ways.” Lance couldn’t think for a moment. He was rendered speechless. “I’m sorry, that was cheesy, I-”

“No, no, no, no!” Lance interrupted. “No! No, it was… it was really sweet,” Lance answered, laughing and blushing. He kicked at the ground and looked up at the dark sky. “I’m just processing it. I’m not used to you saying stuff like that. But I like it.” Lance took a deep breath and shut his eyes. “I’m thankful for you too, you know?” 

“Yeah?” Keith asked. Lance could hear the nervousness even in the laughter he used to try and cover it up. 

“Of course. I’m thankful that…. Look, you’re…. I know you don’t really know the whole story, but you’re….” He sighed and opened his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair and stared out at the street. 

He must have been quiet for too long, because Keith nervously asked, “You still there?” 

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m here. Sorry. Words haven’t been my forte lately.” He let out another shaky breath. “Listen. You don’t know the whole extent of it, but… believe me when I say you’re really important to me. Everything we have…. Keith, I never thought something like this would happen after… my last relationship. So yeah, I’m thankful for you too. And everything you don’t even know you’ve done for me.” 

There was a soft sigh on the other end. “Yeah, I know the feeling,” Keith whispered. “I… I miss you.” 

Lance smiled and felt the knot in his throat dissolving slightly. “I miss you too.” 

“Okay, okay, I don’t want to keep you. Call me if you can later tonight. Or just text me. Enjoy your food, okay?” 

“Okay I will. Bye, enjoy the Black Friday shopping.” Keith let out a groan which made Lance laugh before he said bye and hung up. Lance hung up and smiled at the sky for a second before he turned to head back up the driveway to the front door. Only to freeze when he saw Luis standing next to the truck, looking like a deer in headlights.

For a second they just stared at each other. Lance’s entire body felt like ice. Something about the look on Luis’ face told him he hadn’t just come out of the house. 

 “Luis. Wh-What are you doing? How long have you- how long-? What did you-?” Panic flared in his body, compelling him to get on the defensive. “What the hell did you hear, Luis!” 

Luis didn’t answer, his mouth opening and closing like he didn’t want to speak. Suddenly Lance couldn’t breathe. He physically couldn’t hold enough air in his lungs. His brain couldn’t think enough to process the fact that he needed to breathe, and words kept trying to tumble out, robbing him of more breath as the panic rose in him until he was stammering with tears in his eyes. 

“Whoa, hey,” Luis said, gripping his face with one hand. His fingers dug into his cheeks, and Lance still couldn’t stop hyperventilating, couldn’t stop trying to simultaneously think of a way out of this and try to figure out what Luis had heard. “Lance!” Everything was blurry and confusing and Lance was certain the ground was moving under him. He was vaguely aware of Luis’ hand gently slapping his cheek several time to get him focus. “Lance! It’s okay, hey, you’re alright, it’s okay, look at me.” Lance finally managed to shut his mouth. “You’re shaking, man.” Luis’ hand moved to grip the back of his neck, steadying him. “I got you. It’s alright, Lance.” 

“Y-You’re not supposed to eavesdrop on people, you asshole,” Lance managed to say, his words practically tumbling over each other. 

Luis brought him into hug. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I know, I’m so sorry.” Luis hugged him until he was able to regain some type of slower rhythm to his breaths. “I was just… I didn’t think….” Luis sighed and pulled away, keeping his hands firm on Lance’s shoulders. “Don’t cry, manito. I’m sorry. This should’ve been something you told me when you were ready. We thought you were hiding a girlfriend, and I was just gonna tease you, I didn’t mean to….” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Lance. I won’t say anything, I promise.” 

“Oh my God,” Lance breathed out. “Am I still invited to the wedding?” 

“What?” 

Lance shook his head. “I thought you’d be mad, or…. I don’t know, I was scared you wouldn’t invite me, or… I don’t know, Luis, I was scared-”

“ Ey, calmate. C’mon. Of course you’re invited. I need my best man there.” Lance stared at him with wide eyes. “I was… planning on asking differently, but hey. Obviously shit changes…. Partners in crime, right? Ride or die?” 

“Really?” 

Luis nodded and gave him a sad smile. “I’m not mad, man. Why would I be mad? A little… surprised. I need to… wrap my head around it, but…. It’s okay, Lance. Come on, don’t cry. You know Mami’s gonna ask questions if you do. Come on, it’s Thanksgiving, we got food we gotta eat, okay?” Lance nodded, still shaky and uncertain. “I won’t say anything. And whenever you’re ready, we’ll talk more about all of this.” Lance nodded again, and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Come on.” Luis threw an arm over his shoulder and led him back to the door. 

When they got back inside, everyone was still talking over each other, trying to get the kids food while also getting their own and figuring out the seating at the table. Luis tousled his hair lightly before blending into the chaos. He grabbed a plate and led his girlfriend to the table. Lance managed to grab a minimal amount of food since his nervousness and the fear that had coursed through him diminished his hunger significantly. 

When he sat down, everyone had to wait until everyone had their food and was seated so they could say a prayer before eating. Mami led it, of course, and once “ amen” was said, everyone immediately started eating. It seemed that Luis had mentioned Maya coming to dinner before because Mami wasn’t surprised about it. But it seemed she might have caught on a bit to what was going on because most of her focus was on Maya. 

That was fine by Lance. He was still trying to gather himself. Veronica was busy with the kids, and Marco was talking to their papa. Once most of the food was gone and all that littered the table were beer bottles and soda cans, the kids started watching a movie in the living room while the adults talked at the table. Lance busied himself by gathering the trash and arranging the dishes so they didn’t look so intimidating in the sink. Before he could decide to just go ahead and wash them to give himself more time to get over his shock, Veronica pulled him aside. 

“Hey, flaco, you okay? You barely spoke during dinner, and you hardly ate.” Lance nodded. “What’s wrong?” Her voice lowered. “Did something happen with Keith?” 

He shook his head, then looked at her. “Luis found out. About Keith. He called me earlier and Luis overheard. He’s cool with it, I’m just… still reeling from everything” 

Veronica’s eyebrows went up as her jaw fell open. “Oh shit.” She turned to look into the dining room where the others were still talking and joking loudly. “H-How do you feel?” 

“I’m fine,” Lance snapped. Then he sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m fine. I’m just trying to catch up. I wasn’t expecting it and I wasn’t expecting for this to happen today, and I wasn’t expecting the reaction.” He scratched his head nervously. “And now I keep thinking about how to tell everyone else.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I just need to distract myself.” Veronica bit her lip and hesitated. “What?” 

She winced and shrugged. “It’s just. Usually when you got anxious about something, you would write. Maybe you should try that.” 

Lance grimaced and stared at his hands. “Maybe. I think I'll check on Hunk and Pidge first. I haven't heard from them.” Veronica sighed, but pretended to believe Lance's lie. She smiled and then took the cake to the table. 

Lance went into the living room to hang out with Nadia and Sylvio as he texted his friends. He didn't want to tell them about the emotional exhaustion he was feeling. He just wanted to catch up with his friends. He wanted to hear about the scientific argument Pidge’s family had because that's what their dinner talk typically consisted of, if not about some recent study. He wanted to hear about the newest recipe Hunk learned that day because his mom and sister always had a new thing to teach him when they had holiday dinners. 

Nadia tugged on his arm at some point when the group chat was making plans to go see a movie when they got back from break. 

“Tio, can you make me a braid like Elsa? Papi didn't know how to, and I got a chongo. ” 

Lance chuckled and gestured for her to sit in front of him. “Sure thing, Chimuela.” 

As Lance work on getting Nadia's long hair into a braid, Sylvio peeked up from his phone. “Uncle Lance, how do you do that? Who taught you?” 

“Your abuelita. Wanna learn?” Sylvio hesitated before sitting next to Lance and watching. “See, you take some more hair and add it, then loop it under here, like this.” Lance went slower so Sylvio could see until he finished the braid and Nadia stroked it happily. “Maybe next time Sylvio can do it for you,” Lance said. “I used to do them for Tia Vero.” 

“I won't be able to do them like you though, Uncle Lance.” 

“That's okay,” Nadia said. “Tio, can we play the PlayStation? I wanna play Minecraft.” 

“Plants vs. Zombies is better,” Sylvio argued.

Lance stopped them before they could start arguing. “We can play both, yeah? Each one for a little bit.” They nodded and Lance set up the game for them. 

It was funny how much better these six year olds were than him. And they had no problem teasing him about it. So while his dad and brothers went to keep drinking in the garage, and his mom, sister, and future sister-in-law talked over coffee and cake, Lance distracted himself by playing with his niece and nephew. They made him laugh and kept him busy by forcing him to play the game or rambling about something that they were learning in school or TV shows they liked. 

“You're really good with kids,” he heard. Lance glanced over at Maya who was smiling at the television. 

“Ah, thanks. Mami says Luis and I never grew up.” 

“You're telling me. Luis still gets excited when the ice cream truck drives by.” Lance laughed at that shrugged. “Well hey, let me know if you want us to take them off your hands, okay? The guys are all outside.” 

“Oh, it's cool. Thanks, Maya.” 

She nodded and went into the kitchen. Lance looked at his niece and nephew. They were both leaning forward as they played. Something heavy settled in his chest. 

Fear was exhausting. When he started liking Keith, he didn't expect all of these anxieties and worries to come with it. He hadn't thought about it. Maybe that was on purpose in a way. Not thinking about having to come out and what to do if it went wrong let him focus on Keith. On getting to know him and falling for him a little more each day. 

Now though, the reality was right in his face. He imagined his mami crying, his father screaming, Nadia and Sylvio confused because they weren't allowed to see their uncle anymore. 

But he'd thought of worst case scenarios with Vero and Luis. And they didn't happen. His brother and sister accepted him, still loved him, and they would support him. Maybe with Luis and Veronica to help, he would be able to tell Marco too. And if things got more serious with Keith, he'd find a way to tell his parents. 

Distracted by looping thoughts, Lance hadn’t noticed the hours pass by. He was both hypnotized by the cycle of video games and occasional outbursts from Nadia and Sylvio and absorbed by his own thoughts and scenarios. He kept thinking of different ways to say it. To bring it up. Kept thinking of the repercussions from the very best- a party thrown in celebration which Lance knew was definitely not going to happen- to the very worst. He didn’t particularly like indulging in the worst. He tried to simply hope that if the very best scenario couldn’t happen, then the worst couldn’t either. 

It was well past midnight by the time Marco came back inside to say goodbye. He started saying goodbye to the women at the table, then he moved to the living room to get his kids. Lance spread his arms over Nadia and Sylvio’s sleeping bodies, playfully glaring up at Marco.

“You sober?” Marco rolled his eyes and nodded. “Walk a straight line with your finger on your nose.” 

“Oh my God, Lance-”

“Do it!” Marco scoffed, but a smile tugged at his lips as he walked a straight line across the living room. Then he spread his arms as if to ask, Well? Lance hummed. “How much did you drink?” 

“Lance, I’m fine,” Marco said with a laugh. “I had a beer during dinner, then two more outside. I haven’t had a beer since before midnight, and I haven’t even gotten tipsy. Dad on the other hand is already belting out his songs and talking about his childhood, so.... Gimme my kids, asshole.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Lance said. “I can help carry them.” Marco picked Nadia up and Lance took Sylvio. 

“You braided her hair?” Marco noted. Lance nodded, grimacing as he waited on the teasing. When he would braid Veronica’s, Marco always teased him for it because it was girly until their mama got him in trouble for it. Instead, Marco asked, “You think you could teach me before you go back to school? She always asks me to try and I tried YouTube, but it’s confusing as shit. I’m kind of embarrassed to ask Mami.” 

Lance smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I can show you. If you don’t mind being girly.” Marco rolled his eyes and smiled back. Nadia and Sylvio only woke up for a brief second to shift in their seats to sleep better when they strapped them in. “Alright, I’ll see you later, Marco.” 

“Bye, flaco. I’ll text when I’m home.” Lance hugged him before he got into the car and watched him drive off. 

He walked over to the garage where Luis was laughing and singing along with their dad. “ Te va pegar la cruda, Pa,” Lance said, as his father sang dramatically in response to the light chiding. 

“That’s why your mami hid another carton in the house. Tomorrow’s remedy!” He laughed and kept singing, which made Lance laugh. 

He looked at Luis, feeling a little awkward and unsure. “How drunk are you?” 

“Just a little tipsy,” he said with a smile. “Most of these are Pa’s bottles. But I might head out with Maya soon.” Lance opened his mouth, and Luis interrupted him. “Don’t worry she’s driving.” Lance chuckled and nodded. “Man, three years of college and still the same you, huh?” 

Lance smiled and sat next to him. “Shit, they showed one drunk driving video in high school and I got traumatized.” 

Luis chuckled, but before their conversation could continue, their dad belted a chorus of the song playing on the speaker. 

Then he turned to Lance and started rambling, all in Spanish like he tended to do when he was drunk. He told Lance not to give up on school, that he had so many opportunities, that he was a role model for Marco’s kids. It was the same stuff Lance was used to hearing from him anytime he drank more than he should’ve. He shared a look with Luis as they held back their laughter. 

“ De que se rien? I’m serious. I don’t know about all this writing stuff, but you’re in there. You already got more chances to do something than me and your mami.” Lance kept smiling, reminding himself that it was fine if his dad didn’t see the importance of writing. “ Nos vas a hacer muy orgullosos, m’ijo.” He continued singing under his breath, suddenly staring out at the driveway as though in contemplation. 

Lance sighed and looked down smudging a puddle of spilled beer with the toe of his shoe. Luis nudged him and furrowed his eyebrows, his head bobbing only slightly in question. Lance shook his head and gave him a fake smile. Luis didn’t seem to buy it, but he didn’t press either. 

Proud. He was gonna make his family proud. That word was suddenly a lot heavier as an LGBT first-gen Latino than it was when he was just a first-gen Latino. 

He saw Luis foot scooting closer until he was obnoxiously hitting it against Lance’s. He looked up with a quirk of his eyebrow. Luis leaned over and said, “Just so you know, you’ve already made us proud, huesos.” 

Lance clenched his jaw to get a grip on the knot building in his throat. He smiled at his brother and nodded. “Thanks, Luis.” 

Luis squeezed his shoulder then stood up to face their dad. “Pa, I gotta go, I’ll see you later, alright?” Lance got up and quickly followed after Luis as he went inside. As Luis hugged and said goodbye to Veronica and Mami, Lance worked on calming his nerves. 

Once Luis got to him, Lance interrupted before he could start saying goodbye. “Actually. I was wondering if…. Okay, so, um. I wanna tell Marco… y’know since you and Vero know-”

“Veronica knows?” he exclaimed. Lance shushed him, but thankfully Maya was occupying Mami’s attention enough to where she didn’t notice. Veronica did though.

She frowned and walked over to them. “What about me?” 

With a groan, Lance said, “Yes. Vero knows. But the point is, I was hoping… maybe you guys could be with me when I tell Marco.” 

Vero and Luis shared a look. “I mean, yeah. But what, you think you’ll need us as bodyguards or something?” Luis asked. 

“N-no. More just… for support, I guess. He’s probably coming tomorrow so… I don’t know maybe we could go somewhere or….” 

“We’ll be there,” Vero promised. “And it’s gonna be fine, flaco.” Lance winced and shrugged. Worst case scenarios. Best case scenarios. 

“Yeah, we’ll be there.” Luis hugged Lance tightly, for a little longer than their hugs usually lasted. “I love you, Lance. We all do.” Lance sighed and nodded into his shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, yeah?” Luis tousled his hair again before getting to the door with Maya.

They waved and went out the door. Lance took a breath and Veronica playfully nudged his shoulder. She smiled at him, and Lance figured that with two siblings who supported him, things would be okay. 

Their mom went outside to sit with their dad, while Lance and Veronica cleared out the trash. Tomorrow would be another cleaning day, at least in the morning. Shortly after, Lance saw his parents come back inside. They wished them goodnight and went to their room. Veronica started going into hers, but Lance stopped her. 

“Could you help me with something?” 

She raised an eyebrow. “With what?” 

He bit his lip nervously. “Could you help me search up the terms? I’ve been a little freaked out to because of the labels and… I don’t know I felt like I wasn’t allowed because Keith is the first guy I like and…. I don’t know. But I wanna figure it out so I know what to say and how to explain it.” 

Veronica smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah, let’s do our research, manito.” She gestured for him to go into her room and started her laptop up. 

--

The next day, Marco came over after he got out of work. Luis showed a little after, just in time for dinner. Lance couldn’t bring himself to eat with how nervous he felt. He kept going over what he planned on saying in his head, and even practiced his responses to each possible reaction. 

It almost felt like being a kid again. With his siblings at the table, reaching over each other for lime, salt, salsa, napkins, a refill. With his dad half watching the Discovery Channel in Spanish, half cracking jokes that no one laughed at until they did. With his mom chiding them over talking more than eating and claiming their dad was more like a kid than an adult, but still laughing at the things they said.

Meanwhile, Lance was quiet, moving his food around and occasionally eating like he used to when he was upset with his school report card. Feeling like a kid made him wonder why he never knew about this part of himself when he was a kid, but he stopped that train of thought immediately. He didn’t need another thing to have a crisis about. 

When dinner was over, Veronica suggested going for coffee. Luis offered to drive. Marco agreed only if he was in charge of music. Lance simply followed behind them, his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking. 

The car ride consisted of songs from Lance’s childhood- early 2000s pop, hip-hop, and rock that had Veronica and Luis singing along through laughter. Veronica took Lance’s hand and held it through their mini-concert until they got to the cafe. It was the same one Lance had met with Romelle at. 

It had been so much easier to tell her. Lance didn’t even think twice before telling Hunk and Pidge. Meanwhile, with his siblings, the same people who had grown up with him and knew him better than anyone…. Each time he’d had to come out to them, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

Lance waited until everyone had a coffee. They sat at a table in the far corner of the cafe. It wasn’t too busy, so it felt private enough. Luis and Veronica filled the time with idle chatter, occasionally glancing over at Lance like they wanted a cue. 

Then Marco said, “Alright, what gives? Lance you’re always talking non-stop, and I haven’t heard a word from you since you said hi to me when I got to Mami’s. And these two didn’t object to my choosing the music at all. What’s going on?” 

Veronica and Luis sat back in their chairs, exposed. Lance looked at Marco and talked himself through breathing. 

He gulped and tried sitting up straight. “I have to tell you something.” Marco frowned and crossed his arms. “I don’t know how you’ll take it, but…. I wasn’t planning on saying anything yet, but then I figured why not. I mean I’m going to at some point, so… I may as well, right?” 

Marco glanced at Luis in confusion, but Luis wasn’t looking at him. Marco’s attention returned to Lance. “Okay, what the fuck? What’s going on? Are you sick or something?” 

“No! No, I’m not….” Another deep breath. He shut his eyes and let the words settle on his tongue. He was so tired. “Marco, I’m seeing a guy.” 

When there was no response, he opened his eyes and saw Marco looking at him with narrowed eyes. His eyes slowly went to Veronica, then to Luis. Then back to Lance. Marco’s arms unfolded and he gave a slight nod. “Okay…. Is that it?” 

Lance’s eyebrows went up. Veronica let out a nervous laugh. Luis slouched in his seat. Of all the scenarios Lance thought of, he hadn’t thought of this one, as normal as it seemed to come off. 

“Wait…. What?”

Marco shrugged and gestured at Lance. “Man, culero, you got me over here thinking you murdered someone or something, this is a fucking relief.” Veronica laughed a little louder and Luis joined in. Lance was still in shock, but he was able to let himself smile. 

“So you don’t… you don’t care? Than I’m… uh… pan?” That was the first time Lance used the label out loud. It sent a funny feeling through him body.

“You’re a pan?” Marco repeated. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Pansexual. I… I looked up some stuff with Vero because I didn’t know what label to use, and… it’s the one that felt the most fitting. It just means-”

“Romantic or sexual attraction to a person regardless of gender or sex,” Luis intervened. He smiled when the three of them fixed him with a surprised look. “I wanted to make sure I didn’t ask anything stupid, so… I did some research when I got home. My guess was between bi or pan, so… I was right.”

Lance couldn’t help but break into a smile.

“Alright, but hold up,” Marco snapped. Lance looked at him nervously, expecting a lecture. “I’m the last to know? What the hell, man, I’m the oldest!” 

“I was scared you’d want to keep Nadia and Sylvio away from me or something.” 

The playfulness in Marco’s eyes melted. The laughter was gone. Marco sighed and pushed his coffee aside to lean on the table, his hands interlocked in the center. “Lance. You are my baby brother. You’re the same kid I nearly beat a 12 year old for when I was 17 because you came home with a split lip. The same brother I binged cartoons with even though I thought I was too old for them. The same brother who was so excited to see Nadia and Sylvio the day they were born, you practically ran through the whole hospital and cried when I said you were too young to be godfather.” Marco reached over and grabbed his hand. “You’re the same brother I’ve picked fights with, teased, defended, laughed with, and cried with. You are still you. You loved a girl. You like a boy. That doesn’t change the fact that I love you. And it definitely won’t make me keep the kids from you. You’re a good uncle Lance. If anything, you’re gonna be able to show my kids that they can be whoever they want, and that they can embrace it. You’re gonna teach them to take chances and how to be brave.” 

The tears streaming down Lance’s face were expected. Though Lance had expected them to be out of pain or hurt. Instead, he was crying from a mixture of relief and the emotions that came from hearing what his brother saw in him. Veronica was crying too, but she was catching each tear before they had a chance to trail down her face. Luis put a hand on Lance’s shoulder and shook him gently. 

“I told you that you already made us proud, Lance.” 

Marco nodded, clenching his jaw and squeezing Lance’s hand slightly before he pulled back and took a break. 

“Oh come on, Marco!” Veronica said, shoving him. “You know you want to cry, deja de aguantarte.” Marco scoffed, but sure enough, tears filled his eyes. 

The siblings laughed nervously, and Lance tried to get a grip on himself so he could talk. “I know we’re Latinos and we’re not supposed to have heart to hearts,” he started, earning a laugh from his siblings. “But I really can’t thank you guys enough.” He’d planned to say more, but his voice broke and he had to hold back another slew of tears. 

“Fuck it,” Marco muttered. He got up, dragging Veronica with him and came around the small table to engulf Lance in a hug. Luis stood up, and Lance was immediately surrounded by all three of his siblings’ warmth. He felt Veronica kiss his forehead, could feel Luis’ hand wrapped tightly around his arm, and Marco was holding them all together. “But seriously, nobody scare me like that again, Jesus Christ.” 

They laughed and broke apart to take their seats again. Lance wiped at his eyes, half-laughing at himself. All that worry and fear felt far away now that he could see his siblings smiling and laughing around him. 

“So, you gonna tell us his name?” Marco asked. 

“Or tell us how this happened?” Luis added. 

Veronica grabbed his arm. “ Show them a picture.” 

There were so many emotions built up in Lance’s chest, ranging from relief to love. His cheeks hurt from smiling and his breaths were shaky from the release of all the anxiety. “Alright, alright. Hold on.” Lance grabbed his phone and scrolled through the pictures on his phone. He showed them the one he managed to snap of Keith when they were on the ferris wheel. “His name is Keith. I met him at a party-”

“Well, some things never change,” Luis mumbled. Lance rolled his eyes and nudged him. “So… you just met him and were into him? No… panic about liking guys or major revelation?”

“Where exactly did you do your research?” Veronica asked with a snort. Luis made a face at her. 

“Well…. I mean, I was confused. I saw him, and I noticed I kept seeing him. Like I was looking for him without meaning to. I’d try to stop staring because that’s fucking weird, but… my eyes kept going back. He said he noticed, so he came up to me.”

“So he made the first move?” Marco asked. Lance shrugged. “Okay, okay, go on.” 

“You’re holding back,” Veronica noticed. Lance furrowed his eyebrows. “When you were telling me about it, it was like you were writing a romance novel. Now you’re trying to make it less gooey.” 

“Well first of all,” Luis said, “I think I speak for both of us when we say we’re offended this one knows everything already. And second of all- I heard that phone call. You are a fucking sap. So tell the story in your Lance way. Your poetic way.” 

Lance hesitated. It was strange to go into his feelings for this guy with his brothers. Veronica was right- it was different talking about the same thing when the people you talked to were different. He’d built up a series of frat-boy stories for his brothers, and he was scared to make them uncomfortable or something. 

“We won’t make fun of you, we promise. Look, we all know what a big deal this is for you. Honestly, we’ve been hoping for this day.” Marco gave him a reassuring smile. 

“If the smile that immediately spread on your face the second you said his name says anything…. Well, it’s a relief to see you like this, flaco,” Luis added. “So come on.” He gestured with his hand, prompting Lance to continue. 

And with that, it all flooded out. Every little thing about Keith that made his heart flutter, the things he’d been dying to say to anyone who didn’t know him all tumbled out of him without pause. 

He told them about his scrunched-nose smile, about the way he tended to pick at the skin on his fingers when he was anxious until Lance grabbed his hand, the way he’d tear up at movies but refuse to cry in serious situations. He told them about the way Keith always used a headband and a low ponytail to keep his hair back when he rehearsed, and how he’d close his eyes and listen when Lance read a poem, and how he liked to play with sugar packets when they went out to eat. He told them about how easy it was to make Keith blush even though he was blushing too as he said it.

 “God, he’s just… he’s amazing. Y’know, it’s not like- I don’t feel like I’m fixing him. He’s gone through shit, but he doesn’t feel bad for himself or anything. He was guarded and careful, yeah, but…. I don’t know. I think he’s one of the strongest, most beautiful people I’ve met.” 

“How long has this been going on?” Luis asked. 

“Since like… really late September? Early October? We’re… not dating, so we don’t have an actual timestamp…. Things just sort of fell into place.” The look on his brothers’ faces made Lance wonder if he had somehow insulted them with the fact that they weren’t official. “Look, it’s worked out that way! He had some stuff to work through, and then there was this sort of ex that made things a lot harder and then there was my poetry-”

“What?” Marco interrupted. 

Lance took a deep breath and started explaining the mess with Roland and the way that Keith had burst when Lance refused to show him his poetry at first. Veronica didn’t know about any of it either, so she’d immediately sat up straighter when Lance told them everything. Once they were up to date, Lance sighed. “It hasn’t all been perfect. Right now having no label works for us, you know?” 

Marco shared a look with Luis then looked at Lance incredulously. “Lance you gotta be shitting me.” Lance frowned. “You go through all this shit- realizing you’re pan, trying to get him to trust you, taking him on dates, handling this ridiculous ex- and you won’t even ask the guy out?” 

Beside him, Veronica nodded in agreement. “I think it’s time, manito.” 

“Ask him out. Ask him out. Ask him out,” Luis chanted. 

“No, no, no, wait-” Marco joined in on the chanting, along with beating on the table. “Guys, no, shush!” And then Veronica. “Oh my God, you assholes,” Lance said with his face in his hands. But he was smiling too. Because the moment felt normal. Because he could breathe.

Chapter Text

Holidays were always a little awkward. Keith was able to celebrate twice, but it still left him with a feeling of guilt when he spent the real holiday with his foster family. Still, his mom always looked excited when she saw him, even if it was the day after. 

She was out the door of her house the second Keith pulled up with his motorcycle. “Keith! I hope you’re hungry. I’ve got a small turkey in the oven and it’s almost ready.” She stuffed her hands in her pockets as Keith got off the motorcycle, like she was refraining from hugging him. 

“Yeah! For sure,” Keith answered with a smile. 

He stood in front of her until she gave in and wrapped her arms around him. Her hold was soft, like she didn’t want to hurt him. “I’ve missed you,” she said. “It’s been a while since you visited.” 

Keith sighed and tried his best to enjoy the hug. It was still so awkward with her, like they didn’t fully know each other. And maybe part of it was his fault for not trying to see her more often. “I know. I’m sorry,” he answered. He hugged her a little tighter in apology, and her arms tightened a little too. When she loosened her grip, Keith pulled away and shrugged. “It’s just been a little hectic at school. Senior year and all.” 

“Do you want to tell me about it?” she asked. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on.” She squeezed his arm then led the way back into the house. The creaking sound of the three wooden steps that led to the door sounded vaguely familiar from previous times he’d been there. The creak of the screen door and the hard scrape of the main door as it chipped a little more dirty white paint from the door frame it was badly hinged onto. 

Inside felt cozy. A small couch, a TV on a stand with a few movies and a cabinet with knick knacks. There were a few photos of Keith, mostly as a teen from the photos the Shiroganes shared with her. The smell of savory food filled the small space, and Keith sat down at the small round table where he could see into the kitchen. 

“What have you been up to?” Keith asked, wincing to himself. It sounded like meeting up with a distant cousin more than visiting his mom. 

“Mostly working and a few personal projects to pass the time,” she answered. She moved around the kitchen, taking out plates and dishes with small portions of food on them. Perfect for a two-person Thanksgiving the day after Thanksgiving. “Yesterday I worked on a song and I watched some movies on the TV.” 

Keith's holidays were never bad, even before the Shiroganes. Whether in the orphanage when he was small or with any of his foster parents, he always had food and someone to spend it with. Hearing the way Karina spent her holidays broke his heart and worsened his guilt. 

When Keith first met her, he demanded answers. Why she left, why she took so long to look for him, what she'd done in all those years knowing he was out there. And she had been as honest as she could be. Keith believed her when she said she'd been in danger. And with the way she shook when she talked about it, he never asked for specifics. She promised to be around more. She was- at least when Keith accepted it. 

His foster parents weren't too fond of her, not only because they worried she would hurt Keith, but because of the strain she had put on their relationship with him. But Keith knew he was all the family she had. He couldn't just let go of it. 

“Could I hear the song after dinner?” 

She smiled and nodded before putting down a plate in front of him. “Of course. But tell me about school? How have your classes been? When is your graduation? How's that dance team going for you?” 

The good thing about not seeing his biological mother for so long at a time was that when he saw her again, they always had a lot to talk about. The bad thing was Keith always held some reserves as to what he could tell her. For example… she didn't know he was gay. 

It never posed a problem before. When he was seeing someone regularly, he wasn't supposed to be, or he had to keep it secret. There was no point in telling her. Now, most of the stories he wanted to tell her about had Lance in them. Now, Lance wasn't a secret he needed to keep from the world. 

“Is everything okay?” she asked as they cleared the table together. She looked nervous. 

“Yeah. Yeah, why?” 

She hesitated before shaking her head. “Nothing. You just seem a little distracted. Did… did your foster parents want you back at a certain hour?”