Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

ACT I: REINCARNATION

“The heart does not know Chronos time.” - Jacqueline Winspear

Sometimes, Meiou Setsuna feels like she is living in the wrong era. The wrong Time.

It is only a feeling. Perhaps. But it is a feeling that she has had for as long as she can remember. 

To be fair ... that doesn’t really say much. After all, Setsuna cannot remember much about her past. She would be hard pressed to recall details about her life before college. She certainly recalls getting into Keio University with flying colors, but she has no close friends to reminiscence with about olden days. No matter though. She has always been a bit of a lone wolf. This isn't anything new.

She is more concerned with the now. Spring of 1993. Something feels off. Like … it isn’t the ‘now’ that she should be familiar with. It’s an odd feeling, to feel like she should know what era she should’ve been in.

When though?

There is no rhyme or reason to it. She just knows that it is a skill that she has lost, somewhere along the way. It is exactly this feeling that has compelled her into a career in spacetime physics ... where she finally meets him.

*

It starts as an innocuous question.

“Is this seat available?”

Setsuna barely looks up at the owner of that voice. Too deeply engrossed in the planetary science book that she’s just picked up at the library to care, she moves her bag off the chair next to her, without once breaking eye contact with the page that she is reading. Vaguely, she notes that the stranger has shuffled into the seat that she’s cleared out for him.

“Pluto,” she hears him say then. Something about the lilt in his voice pulls her out of her reverie. “Yes?” she asks. Her reflex surprises her. Like he’d just called her name. When she finally sees him, really sees him, though, an unfamiliar word split into her consciousness.

King.

She shudders at the intense emotions associated with that word. The respect. The longing. A word that she didn’t even think about until that moment.

King, she almost whispers.

“That’s the planet, right?” the handsome man is asking again, pointing at the caption-less glossy photo of the icy dwarf planet that is featured prominently on her opened pages. Setsuna cannot find her voice. The best she can do is nod quietly. She feels like an open book under his gaze. Like he’s known her all her life. And his deep blue eyes feel so strangely familiar, yet so wrong. His dark hair, also. The wrong color.

Your face is so close to mine.

“I was told that the heart-shaped pattern is a giveaway,” he continues to say, tracing the surface of the planet in her book. Lovingly, she thinks.

“Are you an astronomy student?” he asks, clearly invested in the subject, but surely not an expert to be questioning her on identifying planets. “I'm guessing you're a second year like me, or a third year, since you are in this advanced level class.”

She is, in fact, a freshmen. Setsuna just has a very good grasp of the subject already. She realizes then that he must also be in this elective course. The lecture hall is filling up. Class is about to begin. She’s lost track of his questioning. What was it that he was asking me?  She is too distracted by the way he is tilting his head and frowning, like he is actually concerned.

Please, don’t look at me like that.

She inhales sharply at that thought, a thought that she is suddenly 100% sure that she’s had before. Setsuna stands up, her sudden movement knocking her bag to the floor.

He looks up at her, clearly surprised.

“Excuse me,” she manages to blurt out, grabbing her belongings in a hurry.

Astrophysics be damned.

She has to leave.

Now.

Chapter Text

A long, long time ago, when Sailor Pluto, daughter of Chronos the God of Time, was given the responsibility to guard the Space-Time Door, Queen Serenity made it clear that there are three taboos to her powers: She must not travel through time, she must not abandon her post at the Door, and she must never, ever obstruct the flow of time.

Thousands of years, and Pluto had stayed as a bystander to all that had happened to the first and second Silver Millennium. She stayed true to her post, even when her queendom collapsed the first time, trusting in the higher powers to guide it all.

What is it then, that was different this time?

Pluto breathes weakly, lying on the floor, surrounded by the sailor senshi that she has long admired, but always from a distance, until now.

“I’ve always wanted to be useful to you all, to fight alongside you,” she admits with a small dry laugh, lamenting that this is her first and last time.

“… And I’ve always admired you,” Pluto whispers at Sailor Moon, who is sobbing for her, even though they barely know each other. Pluto sees a shadow of the future Neo Queen Serenity within her soul, an empathic and strong leader, who does not know yet her full potential. Pluto mourns that she will never get to know her properly.

Sometimes, I even wished that I could be you.

She has never admitted any of this, not even to herself, but now that she could feel her life draining from her, doesn’t she deserve at least some self honesty? After all, she had stopped the flow of time. She broke her worst taboo, because she has finally found friends to care about, deeply, personally. If she must be punished, at least she can acknowledge that she did it for her love of these people.

“Pluto,” she hears King Endymion say, his voice filled with remorse and frustration.

“King,” she turns to him slowly, taking in the lavender of his cloak, his eyes. He is tearing up, too. She takes it all in fully, feeling incredibly privileged to be in his presence in her last moments. Pluto keeps her tone firm, yet gentle.

“This is a crime that I must atone.”

They both know that Chronos cannot be circumvented.

King Endymion understands, he understands it all too well. Queen Serenity, Sailor Moon’s mother in another life, had good reasons to put those taboos in place, but—how is this okay?

“I’ve taken a great deal of pride in my mission,” Pluto reminds him, gazing at his helplessness, a kindness that he has always shown her. She thinks of the many times that he has visited her at the Door, wordlessly apologising for her sacrifice, her loneliness. The king took care of the senshi’s affairs. She knows that she was never special in any way, but she couldn’t help but hope. He cared.

He cares.

She is looking at me with that expression again, the king thinks to himself. A sad look that he has come to know so well. A longing that he has always assumed was due to him being one of the only people who has spoken to her in the many millennia that she has guarded the Space-Time Door. But she has friends now. All of these people surrounding her, grateful but mourning her sacrifice. So why does she still look at me like that?

“King,” Pluto whispers with some effort, her voice frail, but unshaken. He squeezes her hand, eager to do anything for her.

“I’m sorry,” he hears her say, and it pains him. “I couldn’t protect Small Lady properly. I’m … sorry.”

And Pluto slips away, whispering the endearing name that she had always called his child, before he could tell her that she’s done more than enough. That she’s done way more than anyone would’ve asked of her. For her precious friend. His crown jewel. Now an adult woman, who grew up too much, too soon, under the Black Moon.

Small Lady, Black Lady hears Sailor Pluto’s voice again, even though the latter has long taken her last breath. As Pluto begins to shimmer, tears well in her bright red eyes. Black Lady doesn’t understand why, but when she sees the senshi with long, dark green hair begin to fade away, she feels her heart shatter into a million pieces. The child within her cries out.

“ … Puu …”

Puu!!!

A devastating cry escapes her lips, the name of her best friend. The only one who saw her for who she is, instead of a lesser version of Neo Queen Serenity, her incredibly powerful and well respected mother. The ruler of Crystal Tokyo. Sailor Pluto was her only friend for so, so long. Chibiusa screams. The spell that Wiseman had cast on her is broken. She found herself again, but she’s lost Pluto.

Puu … please come back …

The king runs to comfort his grieving child, grateful that she is back in his arms again … but at what cost?

Chapter Text

Chiba Mamoru finishes wiping down the lab counter. Between cleaning and scribbling down some final notes about the procedure that he and his lab group had just worked on, he steals furtive glances at the dark-haired beauty across the room, who is washing up the lab equipment with another classmate. He remembers, earlier, when he had volunteered to wipe down, she took no time to announce that she would take up the task furthest away from him. The first time she did this, he was sure that he was imagining things. Lately, however, a pattern is emerging.

Meiou Setsuna is avoiding him, and it makes him uncomfortable.

Mamoru doesn’t understand.

Their classmates obviously have no idea, but he and Setsuna have fought side by side as Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Pluto many times now - against the Black Moon clan, and then the Death Busters. He thought they would be friends already. At least, friendly acquaintances. But after all this time, Setsuna remains aloof to him. Cold, even.

Or is he imagining things?

No one else seems to notice the awkward distance that he feels with her.

To be sure, their first meeting after Pluto’s reincarnation as Setsuna was quite a disaster. She ran away from him in the middle of class, after all. To this day, Mamoru is not sure what he had done wrong back then, but all of that should be water under the bridge by now, should it not? She has fully reawakened as Sailor Pluto, regained her memories as a senshi, and moved in with Haruka and Michiru. All of them know each other quite well as civilians, obviously, but for Pete’s sake, he and Setsuna are also classmates at the same university - they are taking a class together again this school term! Why wouldn’t she speak more than two words with him?

Their classmates are packing up. He sees Setsuna doing the same, giving a tiny emotionless nod to everyone to acknowledge that they are done. Mamoru hastily packs up his things too and follows her out into the corridor.

He calls after her.

Setsuna turns around with grim tension, as if she were bracing herself for him. It makes him take pause.

“Hey,” he says again tentatively.

She blinks once.

“Yes, Chiba-san.”

That’s the other thing. Not only does she call him by his family name, she chooses to do so with the detached honorific, even though she is only a year younger than him. Every one of her friends (except Usagi and Chibiusa) calls him Mamoru-san. Sure, he is aware that all of the outer senshi seem to prefer taking a deferential and quietly protective stance towards Usagi and him. The humble and warm distance that they maintain with them sometimes unnerves Mamoru, but even Haruka and Michiru do not call him “Chiba-san”. It feels beyond respectful. It feels cold.

Mamoru realizes that she is still waiting for him to speak.

“Sorry, I just,” he hesitates briefly when she sighs and casts her eyes, like she does not really want to be there. He watches her sweep her long dark green hair over her shoulder, and notices that she is wearing a purple dress under her now unbuttoned lab coat. She wears that color a lot. A pale lavender that she seems to be quite fond of.

“I just want to know why you are avoiding me.”

Setsuna looks up and blinks at him, like she hadn’t expected the question. Her lips tighten into a thin line. “I am not avoiding you, Chiba-san,” she says finally, and walks away.

“You’re doing it, right now,” he points out with frustration, following after her with quick steps.

Setsuna shakes her head, refusing to speak to him as she exits the building.

Mamoru almost grabs her arm to stop her.

“Mamo-chaaaan?! Who is she?!!!”

Setsuna and Mamoru look up, surprised to see Tsukino Usagi charging towards them.

*

Jealousy is written all over Usagi’s face.

“Puu!” Chibiusa squeals happily, trailing behind but quickly catching up to give Setsuna a hug around the waist. “It’s Setsuna-san, Usagi,” she taunts at the blonde girl’s blind rage. “Stop being embarrassing!”

“Oh,” Usagi pauses, blushing from head to toe. “I’m really sorry, Setsuna-san.”

“It’s alright, princess,” Setsuna comforts her warmly. “Hello there, Small Lady,” she greets Chibiusa as well, gently squeezing the young girl back. Seeing Setsuna smile like that at Usagi and Chibiusa, Mamoru feels a surge of unspeakable jealousy.

“You need to trust me more, Usako,” he reproaches his girlfriend condescendingly as he begins to walk away, perhaps sounding harsher than he had intended to. “You can’t yell like that at every woman I speak to.”

“I was yelling at you,” Usagi murmurs after him, kicking a stone grumpily. “You’re always surrounded by older, pretty women, Mamo-chan … I just got worried.”

Mamoru pretends not to hear her. Instead, he picks up Chibiusa and asks her about her day at school. Setsuna quietly frowns, watching their exchange from a distance.

“Puu? Are you coming with us?” Chibiusa yells back expectantly from on top of Mamoru’s shoulders, oblivious to the strained tension between Mamoru and Usagi. “We’re going to get ice cream!”

“We are?” Usagi asks, lightening up. She really can be easy to please sometimes.

Setsuna eases the displeasure on her face, but Mamoru notices it before it is gone. “I’m sorry, Small Lady,” she says to Chibiusa, though still making eye contact with the man holding her. “I have more work to do today.”

“Oh …”

Setsuna's face falls. She hates disappointing her.

“If you’d like, please come over tomorrow to play with Hotaru again,” she offers gently instead. “She seems to learn new words quickly when you are there.”

That makes Chibiusa smile again.

“Okay!” She waves goodbye at Setsuna. Usagi waves as well. Before they are even done saying goodbye to her, the two are already arguing which ice cream flavor is the best.

Mamoru and Setsuna exchange a wordless nod.

I am not avoiding you, Chiba-san.

They both know that it is a lie.

Chapter Text

“Chibiusa, do you go to Setsuna-san’s house often?” Mamoru asks over ice cream. Usagi perks up too, curious.

“Mmm,” Chibiusa thinks about it, licking her soft serve ice cream. “Every couple of days, I guess? It’s fun to see Hotaru-chan grow! Puu makes really good beef stew, too. Did you know that she is a good cook?” Her face brightens up when talking about Setsuna.

Both Mamoru and Usagi are surprised to hear all of this. Even though they are well aware that Chibiusa used to be very good friends with Hotaru, before Saturn was reborn as a baby, they had no idea that Chibiusa has been frequenting the outer senshi’s household so often. Usagi in particular, who lives with her, suddenly realizes that the many times Chibiusa had asked Ikuko-mama not to make dinner for her because she is going to her friend’s house, she had meant Setsuna. Meanwhile, today was probably the first time that Usagi has seen Setsuna in weeks. Mamoru eats his ice cream distractedly.

“That’s nice,” Usagi says, suddenly imagining all the many ways that she could be hanging out with Michiru and Haruka as well. “I want to go too!”

Chibiusa immediately turns her down. “No, you are noisy and annoying.”

Usagi drops her jaw indignantly. Mamoru raises an eyebrow, but pretends not to hear. He hates getting in between them.

“Puu likes to be quiet and peaceful,” Chibiusa adds, quickly finishing her ice cream. Mamoru silently nods - even he knows that much.

Usagi sticks her tongue after Chibiusa, who is trotting over to the closest waste basket to throw the paper wrappings out.

“You’re really uncute, little brat,” Usagi pouts at her, before spilling her ice cream. “Nooooooooo!” Tears form in her eyes over the pitiful sight. Her soft serve splattered at her feet. “Why???!”

Chibiusa face-palms. “Not this again.”

Mamoru sighs, too. He fishes out some cash from his wallet.

“Usako.”

She shakes her head, though now refusing to look at either of them. “I’ll use my own,” she says quietly, before running back to the ice cream stand alone.

It wasn’t the ice cream that made her cry really. Usagi just suddenly felt incredibly left out. She remembers how Chibiusa had so eagerly run up to hug Setsuna earlier. The way Setsuna had stroked her soft pink hair like she was her mother. It made her jealous, a feeling that she didn’t know she would feel over Chibiusa until then. There’s also the nagging thought that she’s had, long since she’s first learnt that Chibiusa is her future daughter.

Am I really suited to be her mother?

Chapter Text

Setsuna can tell that Chiba Mamoru is miffed by her detached courtesy towards him, especially since the day he's found out that Chibiusa spends a lot of time with her. It shouldn't have been a surprise. After all, Small Lady and Pluto both consider each other their first friend in this world. With Mamoru, it is different. He resembles the king that she knew, the king that she still admires deeply, but Mamoru is no King Endymion. Not at all.

"Mamo-chan, why won't you come to our fall festival?" Usagi mopes, fingers prickled and covered in bandages from hours of sewing a ghost costume. "Our class is doing a haunted house this year, we put a lot of effort into it!"

"I'm sorry, Usako," Setsuna hears Mamoru say, "We have a lot of work to do."

We, he'd say, roping Setsuna into his narrative, as if their lab class helps legitimize his unwillingness to participate in his girlfriend's school events. At the same time, Mamoru has made it a point to not start a conversation with her lately, which meant that he and Setsuna have barely spoken in weeks. She welcomes that change. The polite distance is most comfortable for her.

And yet, Mamoru continues to make it clear in subtle ways that he is aware of their shared experiences. Setsuna pretends not to have heard him, focusing on helping Chibiusa with her class project instead. The Juban public elementary school is also having their school festival soon.

"But it's just one afternoon ..." she hears Usagi plead.

"Look. I can't, alright?" He'd say it so calmly, too, like Usagi is being unreasonable. Setsuna has gathered that Mamoru is somewhat embarrassed about showing up at a high school to visit his girlfriend, but then why date the young woman in the first place, if the age gap bothers him?

“Puu,” Chibiusa whispers. Setsuna turns her attention to the child sitting on her lap, looking up at her like she has something important to ask.

“Yes?”

“ … Will you come to mine?” The way Chibiusa shrinks herself in the face of possible rejection is probably one of the hardest things for Setsuna to swallow.

“You can count on it,” she whispers back, squeezing Chibiusa’s shoulder with a reassuring smile.

The young girl relaxes visibly, though she still seems less animated than usual. Even while jokingly siding with Mamoru most of the time in arguments with Usagi, it is clear that Chibiusa is picking up on the tension between her future parents, and it is affecting her.

Setsuna glances across the room, where the couple are quietly sitting together, a strained energy between them as they work on their separate tasks. Sometimes, she wonders why the two are together. Usagi deserves someone who would get excited about things that she cares about, while Mamoru ... well, his motivations are a mystery. When that thought occurs to her though, Setsuna becomes overwhelmed by self-loathing. She shouldn't be contemplating the demise of the future royal couple's relationship. Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion were such a perfect match ... surely, that counts for something?

But contemplation is what Sailor Pluto does. She’s spent a lot of time alone, after all.

And Setsuna would never tell anyone, but she daydreams about him sometimes. Not Mamoru. … At least, that is what she tells herself. No, she dreams instead of that lavender cloak, a beautiful light purple, the color of twilight. His quiet support over the years. His soft gaze in the starlight, filled with tears, the day she died.

*

"Have a good evening, Princess, Small Lady."

"Nanite, Puu! Mamo-chan, too.”

"Goodnight, Chibiusa ... Usako."

Usagi takes a deep breath. She had her back turned to her boyfriend, but relents in the end. "Goodnight, Setsuna-san ... Mamo-chan."

Mamoru softens his stance as well, giving Usagi a reconciliatory hug before saying goodbye.

Setsuna would’ve walked ahead of him to avoid him again, but it would be rude for her to do so in front of the Tsukino household. Instead, she walks in silence with him, praying he wouldn’t say anything about her attitude again, and that they would bid a simple farewell at the train station. To her surprise, Mamoru does not speak either. It is as if he is deep in thought, and the silence between them sinks into a comfortable tension, until they both feel it - the first rain drops. Setsuna raises an arm to her forehead and squints at the sky.

“Shoot,” Mamoru mutters under his breath.

It is beginning to pour in earnest.

“Let’s hurry,” he suggests, taking off his jacket.

Setsuna doesn’t understand, until he’s thrown the coat over her head. When he also grabs her hand and urges her to run with him towards the station in the distance, Setsuna finds herself hastening alongside him without objection. His side profile, with the rain dripping off of his short hair, distracts her in the alternating street lights and darkness. His large, warm hand envelops hers, squeezing tentatively, but firmly, like he is trying to gauge if she were okay with this, even though he's quite made up his mind to take it in his.

Is this what it feels like to be yours?

As soon as that thought crosses her mind, Setsuna comes to a halt.

I can’t do this.

“Setsuna-san?”

He stops, too, to look at her.

She lets go of his hand wordlessly.

“Chiba-san,” she responds, after a moment of silence. Setsuna self-consciously hooks her long hair onto her ear, before reaching up to take his jacket off, but Mamoru stops her.

“Keep it,” he insists, readjusting it so that it covers her shoulders now. She’s stayed quite dry, thanks to him.

“Don’t catch a cold.”

Holding each other’s disoriented gaze, they barely realize that they have made it to the station.

“Thank you,” Setsuna says finally, resigned under Mamoru’s firm tone.

As she takes the train home that night - in the opposite direction from where Mamoru is headed - Setsuna squeezes his blazer jacket close for warmth. She stares out of the train window, watching the rain fall like a streak from the skies to the ground, a curtain over her heart. Faintly, she can smell his cologne through the fabric, a musky scent that she doesn't hate at all. It feels as if his presence is wrapping all around her, like she is the one that he is hugging this time.

And Setsuna has to admit it.

She daydreams about him, sometimes.

Chapter Text

When Mamoru doesn’t show up to lab the next day, Setsuna feels quite let down. She tells herself that her disappointment stems from him not pulling his weight for their paired lab work, but she would be lying to herself if she didn't admit that it is a lot more than that.

It is the green blazer, perfectly folded away in her briefcase and ready to be returned to its owner.

It is her expectations for how he would’ve greeted her after last night, especially after spending all morning wondering if she should be less aloof to him now.

It is his unexpected absence, and how it is actually making her wonder if he were avoiding her now, even though she’s never cared before.

One blazer jacket, and here she is, completely ruffled.

Setsuna shrugs off the paranoia. It is unlike her to be so easily unsettled, but that is the unique power he has over her. Not Mamoru, she tells herself, but the lines are beginning to blur. There is still barely a shadow of the king that he would become, but sometimes, like the night before, she would notice a gesture, a tenderness that grips her. Be still, my heart. Setsuna prays. Whatever it is that she feels, it is sacred to her, and she keeps it to herself. 

She decides to drop by for a quick check-in with their supervisor down the hall.

“I’m very sorry, Meiou-kun,” The old professor apologises profusely, as soon as she sees her. “I was so caught up over here this morning, I must have forgotten to tell you! Chiba-kun called in to take a sick leave today.”

A little disappointed, a little relieved, Setsuna leaves campus early at the professor’s advice. She looks down at the printed worksheet she gave her. “Just in case Chiba-kun is still sick by the next class,” the old lady had said. Setsuna looks down at the address that the professor had handed her as well, her cheeks a little flushed at the idea that she would be visiting him. She supposes it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle. She would be able to return his jacket, too.

*

Mamoru wakes up.

“Usako …?” he murmurs, rubbing his dreary eyes. He’s pretty sure that the sound he’s heard was the doorbell, but he has little strength to get up and check.

He hears a knock next. A clear and firm rap, but not insistent, like they were just checking to see if he really wasn’t home. Usagi does not announce herself with such restraint.

Mamoru glances at the alarm clock next to his bed. It says half past one. His curtains are drawn close, but a streak of sunlight is pouring in through the gap.

… Maybe it’s a neighbor.

Ever conscientious, he gets up. “I’m coming,” he calls wearily. His voice comes out raspier than expected. I’ll need to get a glass of water after this.

As soon as Mamoru stands up, he feels a headache set in. He almost regrets trying to be a gentleman the night before. Now he is paying for it with a fever and a cough. It better not be a salesperson, he thinks vaguely, unlatching the lock on his front door.

“—Setsuna-san.”

He cannot hide his surprise.

When Setsuna gives him a once over, he looks down, too, and feels a blush rise to his cheeks. God. He’s just greeted her in his flimsiest pyjamas. “Sorry,” he mumbles, running a hand through his hair, hoping it isn’t too messy either.

“Chiba-san,” Setsuna says quietly, handing him the worksheet from their professor.

“Oh,” Mamoru accepts the document sheepishly. “Thank you. I’m sorry about today.”

Setsuna nods, accepting his apology. She doesn’t move though. Mamoru doesn’t understand. If this was her before, she would’ve left already. Should I invite her in? When she speaks again, Mamoru is frankly taken aback.

“You look feverish. I suggest you wear more layers,” she says, observing his state of health almost clinically. “Have you taken your medicine.”

Preoccupied by the question of when was the last time that Setsuna has spoken so many words to him, Mamoru only shakes his head in response. She also always asks questions like it is a statement, which makes her sound stoic and superlicious. This time, though, her tone is also laced with a mixture of worry and concern. It's an entirely new experience for Mamoru.

He awkwardly clears his throat. “Do—do you want to come in? I can make some tea,” he offers, opening the door to make way for her. The swinging motion unexpectedly makes his head swim. Mamoru stumbles forward. To his surprise, again, Setsuna swiftly grasps him around his torso.

“I was going to refuse,” she sighs, wrapping his arm over her shoulder, “ … but it looks like you’ll need me to.”

Mamoru isn’t sure if his cheeks are burning from the fever, or from the embarrassment of having a woman (senshi or not) support his weight. He doesn’t fight her, though. After how long it has taken for Setsuna to stop avoiding him, the last thing he wants to do is push her away. Besides, he still feels dizzy, and it is nice to have some help.

As they shuffle to his bedroom, Mamoru finds himself catching a glimpse again into an unfamiliar and intimate side of her. Even as Setsuna helps him stand now, he finds himself thinking about her surprisingly tiny frame that made his jacket look heavy on her the night before. He watches her determined gaze scanning across his apartment, and remembers how she had cast her eyes, when he asked her to take the jacket with her, as if she were self-conscious - an alluring gesture that he’s never seen. As she sets him down on his bedside, her long dark hair cascades over his face. The faint fragrance of lavender in her hair distracts him—or did he imagine it? Mamoru isn’t sure. His nose is stuffy, after all—he only vaguely hears her when she speaks again.

“Rest,” Setsuna says. She removes her coat and folds it neatly against the back of his chair. She places her briefcase down, too, before leaving his bedroom momentarily. Mamoru has no idea what she is doing. As soon as she returns with a glass of water and a cup of warm tea, however, he sits up in protest. “Setsuna-san,” he insists. He couldn’t possibly ask her to take care of him any more than she already has, but she presses him back into his pillow.

“Don’t make me say it twice,” she warns pointedly.

When she disappears back into the kitchen, Mamoru cannot do anything but yield. Setsuna has always had an air of authority around her that is hard to say no to. Reaching next to him, he takes a tiny sip of the ginger lemon tea that is his favorite drink. He wonders if she somehow knew.

*

What feels like half an hour goes by. Mamoru nearly nods off, but is woken again, when Setsuna returns, carrying a tray of food and some medication with her. She’s somehow concocted a mouth-watering chicken and rice porridge from his next to bare kitchen goods. It’s only then that Mamoru realizes how hungry he’s been. He’s missed both breakfast and lunch.

“Here.” Setsuna adjusts his pillows and raises his upper body, moving about with the precision of a nurse. When she motions to feed him too, Mamoru finally stops her. “I can do this,” he insists. She doesn’t fight him.

For a while, she sits quietly by his side, watching him eat. When he finishes the last bit of porridge, Mamoru chuckles a little.  “Chibiusa was right.” He puts his empty bowl back onto the tray.

Setsuna looks at him, uncomprehending.

“You are a good cook,” he says with a smile. “Thank you.”

He wonders if he's imagined it in the low light of his room. Setsuna actually looks like she is blushing, but she does nothing to acknowledge that.

Instead, “I’ll be leaving then,” she says, reaching into her briefcase. She pulls out his blazer and places it on his bedside stand. "Thank you again for this.”

Mamoru takes it in his hands. He can see that it's been washed, pressed, and folded with care. “You didn’t have to do this,” he says. Her thoughtfulness for him still feels quite foreign to him. 

“You didn’t have to lend it to me either,” she points out in return. 

Silence befalls them, both contemplating each other’s unexpected warmth. Mamoru recalls the day they had first met and smiles to himself. They’ve come quite far in the last two days.

“You're a mystery, Setsuna-san,” he says softly. She breaks her reverie and glances at him.

“You see,” Mamoru explains, holding her gaze. Her dark red to his deep blue. “Once in a while ... I feel like you are withholding your affections from me, but what is there to withhold ... if you do not know me?”

Setsuna doesn't speak. Her face remains completely still, but he can see that her pupils have dilated, and she is squeezing her hands together a little too tightly on her lap. 

“So," he continues measuredly, "the only conclusion I can reach is that it is not about me. It's about the me you know.”

Setsuna motions to stand up and leave—her first instinct when it comes to him, really—but she freezes at his next words.

“Were you close with King Endymion?”

Setsuna stands up. “Forgive me,” she says under her breath, anger clearly brimming from her trembling lips, “but that is none of your business.” 

Mamoru does not back off, however. He knows now that he is pushing her buttons, but he’s had enough of guessing games with her. He wants it all out in the open.

“But if this is about him, then it’s also about me, is it not? I am him. Or will be, I suppose—”

“The king is a thousand times the man you are, Mamoru-san."

That shuts him up. Setsuna looks down at him coldly.

"If you really were him, you would’ve never asked something so invasive, and frankly offensive.”

Grabbing her coat and briefcase, she leaves promptly without another word.

Mamoru has noticed though, even before she’s left. Setsuna finally called him by his name.

Chapter Text

“The apron looks good on you, Haruka,” Michiru sing-songs, admiring her girlfriend’s navy blue knee-length bib from their dining table. Haruka simpers without turning around from the kitchen counter.

“I should thank the lady who picked it out for me then,” she says, between sips of tasting the curry cooking on the stove top.

“You should.” Michiru chuckles softly, placing her chin on her folded hands.

Haruka glances at her inviting lips. Lowering the flame, she turns around to plant a kiss. “Should we ditch dinner then?” Her voice drops a register conspiratorially.

Michiru hums. “We’ll have to be quiet. Hotaru just went to sleep.”

“That depends on you,” Haruka teases with a twinkle in her eye.

They hear the click of a door lock and turn around to see their roommate come through the front door.

"Setsuna?"

The dark haired beauty looks up to Haruka calling her name. Fatigue is etched between her brows. The couple glance at each other, mirroring each other's look of concern. While Setsuna places her things down at the door and takes a seat at the table, Haruka quietly goes to turn off the flame.

Michiru squeezes Setsuna’s hand gently.

" … Is it him?”

With only such a simple question, Setsuna feels the tears brimming in her orbs. She feels a strong urge to hide her face, but Haruka comes to the rescue and wraps her forearm around Setsuna’s eyes, like a shield to protect her dignity.

Trails of tears fall down her cheeks.

"It's alright,” Haruka coos, her tone both comforting and dutiful. "It's not easy, what we do to protect them."

Michiru stands up and walks to the living room. "To each our own burden," she adds softly, unlocking her violin case.

A bright classical tune begins to resound in the room. Even with Haruka’s arms still blocking her view, Setsuna can tell that Michiru is the one playing. Beautiful strings vibrate the air like waves on a peaceful sea. Her music soothes even the most sorrowful soul.

Feeling strengthened, Setsuna wipes her tears and takes a deep breath. Looking up, she finds Haruka gazing at her lovingly, arms now draped over her shoulders, reminding Setsuna that she is loved, and that she can fulfil her responsibilities with their support. Sometimes, it feels like the outer senshi are the only people who can really relate to her.

"What happened with Mamoru-san?” Haruka broaches the topic gently, pulling a seat for herself too. Michiru continues to play her tune with grace, offering some cover for Setsuna’s vulnerability.

They both saw last night that Setsuna had returned with Mamoru’s jacket, which frankly raised eyebrows, but they were also certain that Setsuna could keep her cool and do the right thing. It is unlike her to be so distressed.

Setsuna takes a moment to find her words. She shakes her head. It is too scandalous to even say out loud.

“It’s okay,” Haruka presses encouragingly.

Setsuna takes another deep breath.

“He asked me, if the king and I were ... intimate."

Michiru stops playing. Her bow makes a dissonant sound when she lifts it abruptly.

Haruka is just as shocked.

“That is … unsettling,” she muses, clenching and unclenching her fist as anger boils within. Haruka knows better than to trust men, even the future king. She glances at Michiru and sees the same grave expression. Setsuna nods in agreement, but neither Haruka nor Michiru are sure that Setsuna shares their exact concern. After all, the daughter of Chronos is too humble to believe that Mamoru may see her as a potential mate.

"Oh my," Michiru sighs with remarkable composure, putting down her violin. “Do you wish you were? Or ... are?”

"No," Setsuna responds defensively. She may have admired the king from afar, but she has never, ever dared to think of him as anything more than that. Being reborn in a time when she is literally his peer hasn't been easy for her heart, but Setsuna never lost sight of her positionality—Pluto cannot get in the way of the new Silver Millennium.

Haruka nods, reassuring her that they believe her. After all, they understand. Uranus and Neptune have sworn to give up their lives—along with any sense of morality—to protect the solar system. Setsuna is the same. Her most crucial job now as the Guardian of Time is to minimize the impact of her rebirth on the 20th century.

Michiru picks up the violin again, now playing a more somber and melancholic tune. They listen in silence for a while, each caught up in their own thoughts about their duties. Being an outer senshi can be a very lonely endeavor, but right now—Setsuna looks at her two friends—this is a cherished moment. She never thought that she could live this way. Another tear falls down her cheek, but she wipes it away immediately.

“Did you know ... " Setsuna speaks when Michiru finishes her piece, "that the God of Time has another name?”

“Chronos?” Haruka asks, coming out of her deep contemplation.

Setsuna nods. She draws an imaginary line across the air. “The time that we usually keep track of. The one that moves in a line, from the past to the present.” 

“And to the future,” Haruka extends the line with her forefinger.

“Yes,” Setsuna affirms. “What’s lesser known is that Chronos is also known by the name Kairos ... the Goddess of Timeless Time." She moves her open palm across the air, metaphorically wiping away the imaginary line that she drew before. "When she moves us, it is as if we’ve lost our sense of time. The time that we feel within, instead of outside of it. The love … that connects us to others.” She places a hand over her heart.

“Like a web,” Michiru begins to grasp what she is trying to say. “Past and future actions influencing each other … with no regards to time.”

"A web I can't get out of,” Setsuna admits.

A web that's given me this second chance.

There’s been a lot of time travel and rebirths over the centuries, between Queen Serenity giving the senshi a second life and Chibiusa travelling back to the 20th century. Each of those paths has woven a complex web of cause and effects across timelines, but none has been more difficult for the daughter of Chronos than her own rebirth in the past. As Setsuna, she is only able to access a tiny portion of her powers as Pluto. She has little to no clue of the impact that she would have on this timeline.

“Don’t beat yourself up, dear,” Michiru consoles. “You’re here now, protecting this time period with us.”

Haruka agrees. “We've kept a distance from the royal couple to maintain our independence as senshi, but you're in a difficult position. If avoiding him doesn’t work, perhaps it would be wise to tell him a partial truth ... enough to keep him from guessing any further.”

A delicate dance.

Setsuna exhales softly. She knows that they are right, but they do not know how deeply Setsuna had admired the king in her past life. To ask her to fend off Mamoru’s strong curiosity without getting worked up … it tears at her heartstrings, more so than her many centuries of solitude, standing alone at the Space-Time Door. She feels a strong pull towards him, too, even in his most thoughtless moments. Setsuna feels a blush rise to her cheeks even now, at the memory of Mamoru thanking her earlier that day.

It troubles her that it is his face, not the king's, that comes to her mind these days.

"Kairos knows no limits of time," she whispers to herself.

Knock knock.

They all perk up at that sound. Turning to look at the sliding glass doors that face their front yard, they see that Chibiusa is waving at them with a toothy smile.

"Hello, Chibiusa-chan,” Haruka lets her in. "I was just about to finish making dinner for us all."

"Were you now," Michiru says. Her smile feigns innocence, but her words are laced with meaning between the lines. Haruka coughs, recalling their earlier conversation before Setsuna returned.

"Good evening, Michiru-san, Haruka-san —— Puu!"

Chibiusa bolts into Setsuna’s lap.

"Small Lady," Setsuna greets back, giving the girl an earnest hug. It fills her heart with such warmth and relief to see her.

"Puu?" Chibiusa looks up with curiosity, tracing her best friend’s puffy eyes with her tiny hands. Setsuna gives her a tight squeeze again. "I'm fine, sweet princess," she promises, "I'll do anything for you." It is as much a promise to her, as it is to herself.

Chibiusa chuckles. "Puu, you're weird today," she says, squeezing back.

Setsuna means it though. She would break her taboos all over again to protect Small Lady Serenity. If it means killing the tiny voice in her heart to do so, she will, because she cannot imagine losing her once more.

Chapter Text

"Chibiusa wants to go to the aquarium this Saturday. Will you come with us, Mamo-chan?”

Mamoru is distracted. He’d like to pretend that it is because he is reading a really difficult book, but his mind is really elsewhere.

“Rei-chan and Minako-chan are coming too though,” Usagi twiddles her fingers together, “but maybe that way we’ll have some alone time together,” she says a little hopefully.

Mamoru hears Usagi, but doesn’t really hear her. Instead, his thoughts are wandering to the letter that Setsuna had sent him a few days ago.

He’s mulled over it so many times that he could recite every word now. Setsuna explains that nothing improper ever happened between her and King Endymion. That she's kept a distance from him because it feels inappropriate to behave like peers with the man who will inherit the throne. That it is the way of the outer senshi. 

None of it sounds like a lie, but something is amiss. "If you really were him, you would’ve never asked something so invasive, and frankly offensive,” she'd said. If her letter is true, why did Setsuna, a normally stoical person, get so defensive of his future self? It sounded like she really knew him.

“It’d be really romantic, don’t you think? Mamo-chan! Are you listening?”

Mamoru comes to. He closes his book.

“I’m sorry, Usako. … What did you say?”

Usagi pouts at first, but quickly becomes concerned. “Were you reading, or are you still not feeling well? You should wear more, you know …” Usagi looks at him meaningfully. “Where did your favorite jacket go?”

“It’s home,” Mamoru says uncomfortably. Usagi’s question reminds him of when Setsuna had showed up at his door. “I just … felt like trying something different.” He’s wearing a new sweater today.

In truth, Mamoru hasn’t worn his green blazer since Setsuna returned it. He couldn't wear it around Usagi without feeling a sense of shame either. Mamoru is not sure why. He hasn't done anything wrong after all. It just feels wrong.

“Blue looks quite good on you, Mamo-chan,” Usagi comments, tugging at his sweater.

“I thought it’s purple.”

“Sky blue, perhaps?” Usagi suggests, taking a closer look at the color.

“Or lavender,” Mamoru mutters under his breath, coming to a realization. He didn't choose it intentionally. 

“Eh?”

“ … Nothing.”

Usagi frowns in concern. Mamoru is so distracted lately. He can feel so far away sometimes, like his mind is elsewhere, but he seems to be more and more preoccupied of late, and it worries her. They have very few common topics between them as is. After all, their age gap hasn't been easy. Usagi has just started high school, while Mamoru is almost done with university. Soon, he would be working full-time. Would he still want to be with her, knowing that he could be with other women his age? 

It is like she is always chasing after him, hoping to be his equal.

“Mamo-chan?”

Mamoru turns to her.

“Say you love me?”

Mamoru’s gaze softens. “What’s wrong, Usako?”

Usagi shakes her head, lowering her gaze. “I just … want to hear you say it.”

Mamoru notices her squeezing the end of his sweater nervously. In moments like this, he feels a sad tenderness for her that he cannot fully articulate. He wonders how it is possible that this woman, so powerful in her senshi form, can feel so insecure around him. Gently holding Usagi's chin, Mamoru tilts her head so that she would look at him. He searches her eyes for the answer that he seeks, but isn't sure if he could find it. Closing his eyes, Mamoru wards off his doubts and kisses her softly. He feels Usagi slowly relax in his embrace.

“I love you, Usako."

It isn’t a lie, but Mamoru wonders why … Setsuna’s face crosses his mind.

Chapter Text

At the bar in Dead Moon Circus, the Amazon Trio are choosing their next victim over early morning cocktails.

“Oh, this one’s not bad. More of your type though, Hawk’s Eye.” Tiger’s Eye throws the polaroid across the bar table, but Fisheye intercepts it first. “Ehh, she’s a little young for his taste, don’t you think?” The blonde man shrugs nonchalantly. “Well, she’s a little old for me.”

Fisheye gags. “Has anyone ever told you that you might be bit of a pedo?”

“What did you say!?”

“Show me,” Hawk’s Eye sighs with resignation, tired of their bickering. “She is a little young for me—” “What did I say?” Fisheye interrupts smugly, blowing a raspberry at Tiger’s Eye.

“—but she exudes a strong maternal instinct,” Hawk’s Eye concludes, humming with intrigue. He narrows his eyes slyly at the woman, who is smiling at two children. Plotting how to approach her, he finishes the rest of his drink and picks up the polaroid between his fingers. “Guess it’s my turn today,” he says, standing up.

Tiger’s Eye whistles at that, while Fisheye rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the snapshots of gorgeous men that he’s sorted out from the rest. “Don’t mess up this time, birdie,” he calls lazily after their teammate with flaming pink hair.

Hawk’s Eye flips him off as he walks away.

*

That same morning, the outer senshi are taking a walk at the park near their home.

“Is it alright if we part with you here, Setsuna?” Haruka asks at the park exit, dangling her car keys. “I parked just around the corner.”

“Sure,” Setsuna takes the stroller from Haruka and Michiru. “It’s my turn with Hotaru today anyway.”

“What’s the plan?” Michiru asks.

“Taking you on a drive, I hope,” the tall blonde suggests with a wink.

“Heavens,” Michiru chuckles into her hand. “Where are we going?”

Haruka wraps an arm around her. “Where lovers go on a Saturday,” she whispers conspiratorially. Michiru chuckles again.

Setsuna looks longingly after them, admiring their banter. She couldn’t imagine having such intimate rapport with anyone, the way they do with each other. She would wish for it, but how could you wish for something that you cannot have?

Turning the corner back towards their house, she looks up with a start. Someone is watching us. Looking around with vigilance, she hears a familiar voice. “Puu!!” Setsuna turns to see that it is Chibiusa, waving and running towards her. She sighs in relief.

“Good morning, Small Lady,” she greets the young girl with a hug. “Where are you off to?”

“To see you,” Chibiusa says with a smile, huffing and puffing a little from the running. “No one was home, so I figured you were all at the park—hello, Hotaru-chan!” She gives baby Hotaru’s outreached hands a gentle squeeze. Hotaru squeals happily. Setsuna smiles at their warm interaction. “Did you want to play with her today?” she asks.

“Well, actually,” Chibiusa confesses bashfully. “I wanted to ask you again … if you would want to come to the aquarium with us today.”

Setsuna blinks. Just the other day, she had declined politely, telling the young princess that she has house duty taking care of Hotaru. In truth, Setsuna wasn’t ready to be around Mamoru yet, but she couldn’t tell Chibiusa that.

“I feel like a third wheel without you, Puu,” Chibiusa reveals, “and I thought that … maybe Hotaru-chan might like the aquarium too.”

Setsuna can tell that it is as far as Chibiusa would go with asking for a favor. The young girl tries very hard to be independent, after all. Setsuna feels for her.

“ … Is it just the three of you?”

“No, Minako-chan and Rei-chan are coming too, but, you know,” Chibiusa pouts. Setsuna smiles. She understands. Those two are practically entangled with each other as well.

“Alright then,” Setsuna says, straightening up with renewed resolve. Certainly, she can handle being around Mamoru for just half a day. She’d have to see him on campus soon anyway. “Let’s go prepare for Hotaru’s outing,” she suggests.

At that, Chibiusa beams from ear to ear. It melts Setsuna’s heart. She strokes her soft pigtails affectionately. Anything for you, my princess. As they walk back to the outer senshi’s home, Setsuna feels it again. Someone is watching them. When she turns around though, she sees no one. … She hopes she is wrong.

*

“You didn’t come with Chibiusa?”

“She said she’d meet us here,” Usagi answers, squeezing her boyfriend’s arm close to her chest. They are waiting outside the aquarium. “Don’t worry, Mamo-chan! She can take the train on her own.”

“She’s still very young, you know,” Mamoru reminds her.

“Yeah, Usagi,” Rei chimes in accusingly with her hands on her waist. “You’re her future mother. Shouldn’t you be more concerned!?”

“I can’t control her, even if I wanted to, Rei-chan!” Usagi glowers. “Don’t be so mean!”

Rei doesn’t back off. “I’m just worried for you!”

“Well, I didn’t ask you to!”

“Not to mention a new enemy,“ Mamoru mutters quietly to himself, getting more worried by the minute.

“That’s true,” Minako agrees. “We don’t know much about them still …” They all go quiet for a while, thinking about their latest predicament as sailor senshi.

“Hi everyone, I brought more friends!”

They release a collective sigh of relief to hear Chibiusa’s voice. Looking up, they see that she is approaching too with Setsuna and baby Hotaru in tow. They all say hi. Immediately, the girls all descend on Hotaru’s pram, doting on the cute baby girl. They don’t get to see her often. Mamoru tries to hide his surprise when he exchanges a courteous nod with Setsuna. After all, they haven’t seen or spoken with each other since she last stormed out of his apartment.

For a good part of the day, everyone stays with their pairs while walking through the aquarium. Usagi and Mamoru lead the way, with Rei and Minako following, while Setsuna and Chibiusa trail behind, pushing Hotaru in her stroller. Usagi soon gets distracted from her romantic plans with Mamoru, however, when Minako finds a game corner normally reserved for younger children. Chibiusa, despite rolling her eyes at their childishness, also stops by with Rei to watch the two of them duke it out over an intense whack-a-mole type game, with sand eels poking their heads in and out instead. Mamoru looks around and notices that only Setsuna is missing. Even Hotaru is with Chibiusa.

Ever the concerned guardian, (even though he is only a year older than Setsuna,) he backtracks to find her in the tropical fish room, an immersive space that is essentially a large cylindrical glass wall, reaching from the ceiling to the floor. Even from afar, he can see the deep blue waters reflecting off Setsuna’s mesmerized gaze, like she has never imagined being surrounded by such colorful and curious sea creatures before.

“Is this your first time?” Mamoru asks, a little hesitant to strike up conversation with her.

Setsuna turns, clearly a little surprised that he is speaking with her. She quietly nods and turns back to the school of manta rays that is passing over them. They stand in silence for a while, each caught up in their own thoughts.

It seems to have become a bit of a habit between them, to share a moment with each other without words.

Setsuna breaks the silence this time.

“Do you think they wonder about the greater world outside?” she asks, her tone a little sad. "I wonder if they feel safe here, or wish there was more to life."

Mamoru glances at her. Her eyes glisten with longing, like she identifies with them. He remembers then, his very first encounter with Sailor Pluto, standing solitarily at the Space-Time Door.

“Setsuna-san,” he asks. “Are you happy here, or do you … miss the 30 ^th century?”

She blinks and turns to him again, this time holding his gaze for a little longer before turning back to the deep waters. He wonders if she would tell him that it is none of his business, but Setsuna surprises him again.

“I am thankful for being given a second chance,” she replies after a while, “and the opportunity to be among the other senshi—” She inhales sharply, like she is about to say something more, but holds it in, and releases a quiet sigh instead. Mamoru wants to encourage Setsuna to speak her mind, but refrains from being pushy after remembering how their last conversation had ended.

“I’m sorry about last time,” he says instead. “I was rude and aggressive.”

Setsuna smiles a little at his apology, even as her gaze remains fixed on the fish before them. “Please forgive me too, Mamoru-san,” she says. Mamoru has to admit that he is a little stunned. She’s chosen to call him by his given name, again. He had been sure that the last time was a fluke. Setsuna finally turns her gaze to him, this time not looking away.

“I may need some time to … get used to being around you.”

Mamoru wonders if she means that she wants more space, or that she is trying to get used to him, right now. Her unusually fixed gaze unnerves him again, like it did when she had visited him when he was ill. Mamoru runs a hand through his hair and awkwardly looks away. “My future self must’ve been a jerk huh,” he jokes. “You fear him this much.”

Setsuna doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t deride him this time either. “I don’t … fear the king,” she says carefully.

It is that pause again between her words, shielding her true feelings. Mamoru turns to meet her gaze, hoping she would offer more, but she doesn’t. Staring at her now in the low lights, he isn’t sure if he’s ever seen her ruby red orbs so clearly. It is a color so familiar, yet so different from the deep blue that normally mirrors his own. But I still know this color. He realizes then, that Setsuna’s eyes are the same color as Chibiusa’s. The thought somehow makes a blush rise to his cheeks.

“I ... I better go check on Usako and the others,” Mamoru mumbles, backing away slowly, like he’s suddenly come to. “Don’t stay behind too long.”

On the way back to the game corner, Mamoru buries his face in his hand with embarrassment. God, that was an incredibly awkward exit! “What is wrong with me?” he says under his breath. He can feel his heart palpitating, an anxiety that he hasn’t felt around a woman in a long time.

“Mamo-chan?”

He looks up to see Chibiusa, pushing Hotaru’s pram towards him. “Did you see Puu?” the young girl asks. Hotaru makes a blabbering sound too that resembles Setsuna’s nickname.

“Oh, she’s, uh, in the tropical fish room,” he points behind him uneasily.

Chibiusa does not notice that he is ill at ease. “Okay.”

“Wait, where are the others?” Mamoru asks, before she continues walking in that direction. Chibiusa puts on her haughtiest look. “Rei-chan got sucked in, too,” she huffs, like she is above all of them. “If I were you, Mamo-chan, I’d come hang out with Puu, too.”

Mamoru isn’t quite so sure about that.

He watches Chibiusa turn the corner and returns with quick steps to what is now a huge commotion at the game corner. Usagi and Rei are having a ridiculous row over who gets to play the next round of whack-a-sand eel, while Minako is competing with what looks to be a group of pre-teen school kids. Mamoru chuckles bitterly. Chibiusa is right. He isn’t sure he wants to be their guardian or mediator right now.

“Probably shouldn’t let Chibiusa and Hotaru walk around in the dark on their own anyway,” he tells himself, turning around.

He isn’t even half way there, when he hears a scream.

“Chibiusa!” He rushes to where he’s left them.

*

Setsuna sighs heavily.

Placing a hand on the thick glass, she watches a pair of gorgeous red fish swim above her. She wonders if she’s said too much, even though she’s barely scratched the surface. Mamoru certainly seemed taken aback.

“Aw, honey, did he break your heart?”

“I’m sorry?” Setsuna turns around to face a tall young man who is suddenly standing very close to her. She is surprised by how she had failed to notice his approach.

“Isn’t he two-timing with you and that other woman?” The stranger asks again, with a mischievous glint in his eye. A distractingly large feathered earring flutters against his neckline as he shakes his head disapprovingly. “I wonder if she knows he's the father of those children of yours?”

Setsuna frowns. She is about to tell him to leave her alone, when she hears a familiar voice calling her name. They both turn to see Chibiusa approaching the tropical fish room with the baby stroller.

The overly familiar man sighs exasperatedly. “God, it is impossible to catch a moment alone with you!”

That comment alone is enough for Setsuna to raise a protective hand up at Chibiusa, urging her to stay back. Chibiusa stops to a halt near the entrance.

“Who are you, and what do you want with me,” Setsuna asks the man warily.

He grins, like he’s been waiting for her to ask.

“Just your dream, that’s all.”

Setsuna’s eyes widen with realization, but it is too late. Hawk’s Eye transforms before her eyes, revealing his true identity.

“Puu!” Chibiusa screams with alarm. “Tsk,” Hawk’s Eye clicks his tongue menacingly, “What a noisy child.” As soon as he pulls out his torch, Setsuna recovers from her shock and jumps right into the line of fire between him and the children. She gets hit by burning flames, straight in the gut. It sends her whirling into the air and slams her against the glass walls. Setsuna hits the back of her head squarely, and slides to the stone, cold floor.

Dazed from the impact, she vaguely hears Chibiusa crying and sees her getting snatched away. Hotaru’s pram falls to the floor with a crash, too.

“No …” Setsuna groans in pain, trying to get up. She reaches for her Pluto lip rod, but she is too late.

“One.”

A metal plank appears out of nowhere from beneath her. Setsuna feels the air rush out of her lungs as it swings her upright.

“Two.”

Her wrists and ankles are shackled to the board.

“Three.”

She screams. A bright light spills from her chest. It is so painful. So much more painful than the burnt gash in her gut. It feels like her soul is being torn from her body. Setsuna tries to breathe through the shooting pain as her dream mirror materializes. I have to fight. She can see him, the enemy, now stalking up to her with satisfaction. She fights against her shackles, but is helpless as he grabs her mirror.

No.

As soon as Hawk’s Eye shoves his head in, a different, invasive sensation fills her chest. Setsuna cries for him to stop. Her consciousness fades in and out as he violates her dream with an evil cackle that rings through her whole body. She is sure that she is going to throw up, when, suddenly, Hawk’s Eye shrieks in surprised pain. He backs out of her mirror to find a newly formed ugly gash on his neckline. His feathered earring flies off. Blood drips down his toga crop-top. Setsuna looks up weakly to see a smatter of rose petals in the air. A bright red rose stabs into the floor. “Tuxedo … Mask,” she whispers, her chest heaving with difficulty.

Instead of making his usual poetic speeches, Tuxedo darts straight into Hawk’s Eye, cane extended. He is taken by surprise, however, when Hawk’s Eye immediately teleports himself several feet away, jumping through a hoop of brown feathers.

“Look out!” Setsuna yells for him to turn around. Tuxedo dodges the handful of knives that Hawk’s Eye has thrown at him, swinging his cape in front of Setsuna to shield them both. “Are you okay,” he asks hastily. Setsuna feels his soft breath on her forehead, and tears form in her eyes as an unexpected and incredible sense of relief wash through her. She could barely answer before Hawk’s Eye teleports back again. Tuxedo turns just in time, slamming his cane against Hawk’s Eye’s two short knives.

“So, you two know each other?” the elfin man snickers.

“How dare you do this,” Tuxedo growls. Hawk’s Eye seems to enjoy his anger, especially now that he’s gotten a good look at Tuxedo Mask up close. He chuckles into Mamoru’s ear. “You look just like him in her dreams.”

Exploiting Tuxedo Mask’s moment of hesitation to that comment, Hawk’s Eye blows his torch straight into his face. Tuxedo shields himself with his cape, but just barely. “Ugh!” he groans, collapsing to the floor. His cape sizzles from the flames, and his right cheekbone and forearm are scorched. His eyesight is blurred, too. Tuxedo realizes that half of his mask is singed and falling off.

Hawk’s Eye laughs at his pathetic state. “She's no host for Pegasus, but it's really a sweet little dream. Let me show you,” he offers zealously, grabbing Tuxedo by the head.

“No,” Setsuna chokes, realizing what Hawk’s Eye is about to do. Tears fall freely down her cheeks as she struggles against her shackles. “Please, no, please.”

“Stop,” Tuxedo protests too, but to no avail. Hawk’s Eye drags him to Setsuna, and pushes his head straight through her dream mirror with force. Setsuna screams, an excruciating pain wracks through her soul, beyond what she's ever experienced.

Please, don't ... Mamoru-san!

*

Mamoru has no idea where he is.

Stretching before him is an unfamiliar landscape, an expansive, red desert. How did I get here? He looks across the horizon, and senses that Earth is far, far away. How is that possible? Turning around, he finds that he's been standing at the gates of a ceremonial complex, one that is reminiscent of the Greeks. The bleached buildings stand out on the reddish brown-landscape.

Cautiously, Mamoru walks through the estate. He passes a temple with a large statue of a two-faced god, one of a man, and the other of a woman. He does not recognize them. Beyond it, he finds a throne room, where he finally sees her - Setsuna.

Have I been looking for her?

Mamoru isn’t sure, but now that he sees her taking her place at the royal seat, he couldn’t look away.

The first thing that catches his eye is the long and luscious dress that is so perfectly hugging her figure. Thin shoulder straps covered in rhinestones show off her delicate collar bone, and the low-cut neckline emphasizes her cleavage, which, Mamoru has frankly never thought about before. Her sight makes the heat rise to his cheeks, again. Again? He tries to remember when was the last time. It doesn’t feel too long ago. What makes his heart really skip a beat though, are the long slits on each side of her dress, riding so high that they threaten to expose her crossed thighs at any moment.

Mamoru takes a minute to regain his breath. He's so distracted, that he almost misses the Pluto insignia on her forehead, and that Chibiusa, too, had been sitting in her lap, all this time. The young girl is in her moon princess dress. “My Small Lady,” he hears Setsuna, or Pluto, say.

This must be the 30^th century, he thinks, until he sees himself, this time, appearing behind them. Mamoru experiences the shock of his lifetime, when he sees his double press his lips against Pluto’s neckline. He fully expects her to evade him with disgust, but instead she lets out a small gratified sigh, and further leans her head to one side, giving him more access. Mamoru-double leaves a trail of kisses up to her temple. Except, this man isn’t quite him. This Mamoru is wearing a mask, one equal to Tuxedo’s own, but his hair is a deep purple. His cloak, too, is a brilliant lavender.

That’s King Endymion.

“Papa,” Lady Serenity calls, confirming Mamoru’s suspicions. He watches Chibiusa reach up to her father. The king chuckles, ruffling his young daughter’s hair and planting a kiss on her forehead. Pluto turns to him too, placing a hand tenderly on his chin. Mamoru feels her pulling him in, like he is suddenly in King Endymion’s position. He feels her lips graze over his, too, and it feels real, so real. As if she were really kissing him. Setsuna whispers softly against his jawline.

“Mamoru-san.”

Abruptly, Tuxedo is pulled out of the dream mirror. Entirely disoriented, he finds that he is now in the middle of a battle again, and Hawk’s Eye is distracted by Moon, Mars and Venus. Taking the opportunity, Tuxedo strikes him from behind. Mars and Venus, too, release a combo attack, sending Hawk’s Eye flying. The lemures that Hawk's Eye has brought with him hits back, and the battle is on, but there isn’t much space for this much commotion. Setsuna and her dream mirror are in grave danger.

Unshackling her in a haze, Tuxedo Mask carries her to safety. As soon as they are out of the way, he shakes his head vigorously, trying to regain his senses. He still couldn’t quite tell what is real and what isn’t, but the soft, sensual impression of dream Setsuna’s lips remains strongly on the forefront of his mind. Mamoru blushes hard.

Is this what it is like, to see someone else’s … dream? He could barely look her in the eye. When Setsuna grips onto his sleeve with urgency, however, Mamoru relents. He turns to see her, face flushed and tears streaking down her cheeks. So incredibly vulnerable, in a way that he's never seen her. Mamoru feels his heart clench at her next words. 

“Where is … Small Lady?” Her voice trembles. Even now, she's more worried about Chibiusa than herself. Holding her hand tight to reassure her, he looks up to where he had left Chibiusa and Hotaru earlier - it was him, who had grabbed them, when Setsuna shielded them from Hawk’s Eye. He finds that the two children are still hiding, holding on to each other. Chibiusa had wanted badly to join the fight, but promised Mamoru she would protect baby Hotaru. He’s grateful that she’s kept her promise.

“She’s fine,” he consoles, turning back to face Setsuna. He looks into her eyes with absolute guarantee. “They’re both fine.”

Setsuna nods. “Thank god … ” she whispers with what remains of her strength, and falls unconscious finally, relaxing her grip on his sleeve. Mamoru continues to squeeze her hand tight. In the dimly lit aquarium, he sees her fluttering eyelashes, and those lips—Mamoru drops his head in shame. 

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. He wishes he could erase it from his memory, but he couldn’t unhear it. He couldn't unfeel it.

Her sweet voice, affectionately calling his name.

Chapter Text

Defeating Dead Moon Circus was no easy task. Their big boss Queen Nehelenia even returned once, before the sailor senshi finally succeeded in defending their planet from the enemy. Chibiusa, having grown immensely as a senshi trainee, has since left for the 30th century as well. In a sense, life has returned to normal for the inner senshi girls, though normal these days feels a little strange.

"I'm gonna miss Chibiusa-chan,” Makoto confesses.

Ami looks up from her reference book and stares at the ceiling, sighing as well. “It is going to be quiet around here again ... ”

Rei nods quietly in agreement, stirring her drink. They are gathered at Fruit Parlor Crown to meet for afternoon tea, but one of five is notably missing.

"Usagi-chan must be devastated,” Minako comments between spoonfuls of her parfait. She glances at the empty seat next to Ami. “Is she really coming today?"

"I hope so,” Rei responds softly. “Luna just went home to check in on her."

They all go quiet for a while, remembering how Usagi had cried the last time Chibiusa had almost had to go home.

For all their fighting, she really does care.

This time though, Usagi just clammed up, which is almost more worrisome.

“Speaking of Chibiusa-chan,” Makoto changes the topic, hoping to lighten the mood. “I saw Setsuna-san earlier.”

“Aww," Minako sympathizes, "she must miss her too.”

Rei takes a sip of her tea. "How is she holding up?"

“Well,” Makoto pauses, realizing suddenly that perhaps what she is about to bring up isn’t exactly fun. “I only saw her from afar, actually.”

Minako chuckles. “What’s that about?”

“Well,” Makoto scratches the side of her head, a little embarrassed now. “She was with Mamoru-san, and I felt like ... I couldn’t get close to say hi.”

Rei raises an eyebrow.

Minako perks up. “They do exude an untouchable atmosphere together.”

Noticing Rei’s frown, Makoto chuckles awkwardly. “University students sure are different.”

Oblivious, Minako clicks her tongue at Makoto. “Not just any university, Mako-chan—Keio is top 3 in Japan! Imagine the children they’d have together.”

Ami looks up from her reference book again, sounding a little alarmed this time. “Surely you don’t mean to say that they’re engaged in indecency!?”

“Well-behaved, intellectual babies,” Minako fantasizes. “Probably grow up to be physicists themselves.”

“I’m sure they’re just friends!” Makoto panics when Ami covers her mouth, clearly scandalized. 

Minako laughs. “I just meant hypothetically.” She loves teasing them. “Though, remember that time when Mamoru-san saved Setsuna-san from Hawk’s Eye?” She nudges Rei slyly. “You were there too.”

Rei continues to quietly stare at her drink. Of course she remembers. After all, she was the one who had found Tuxedo Mask holding Setsuna that day. Out of everyone at the table, Rei is the one who knows Mamoru best, and she had found the tender look on his face immediately suspicious. The way he had squeezed her hand so intimately. It bothered her.

It still bothers her.

“Ah! Usagi-chan!” Ami gasps.

They all turn to see her and Luna entering the cafe.

“Everyone shut up!” Minako whispers loudly, hiding behind her monthly celebrity magazine.

“Minako-chan, you're too obvious!” Makoto whispers back, but also hides behind the zine.

Rei nervously switches the topic to their favorite new boy band. Immediately, Minako and Makoto squeal in excitement.

“Three Lights?” Luna asks as she hops onto Ami’s lap.

“Don’t you know them???” The girls ask in unison, pointing at Minako's magazine cover, which features three good-looking boys their age.

“I have to say," Minako gets into fantasy mode again. "Seiya is the one for me. He has that wild, dangerous air about him.” Makoto agrees.

“Ehh, isn’t he kinda childish?” Rei chimes in while glancing at Usagi, who doesn’t seem to be listening.

Oh dear, she’s really taking Chibiusa-chan’s departure hard.

“I prefer Yaten-kun,” Rei says a little louder, hoping Usagi would take interest. Minako and Makoto continue to discuss with enthusiasm. Ami shyly joins in, musing about the remaining Three Lights member, the "intellectual and highly refined Taiki-san."

“Yes … Wait a second, Ami-chan,” Minako comes to. “You’re a secret fan, aren’t you?!”

Flustered, Ami hides behind her book immediately. They all laugh, except for one.

“ ... How about you, Usagi-chan?” Minako asks then, hoping to cheer up their unusually quiet friend. Usagi normally loves gossiping about pretty boys. “Who interests you most?”

“Mamo-chan,” Usagi answers absently.

Mamo-chan, who is about to study abroad.

Mamo-chan, whom she might not see for the next year, if not longer.

As she discloses the news by rote to her shocked friends, Usagi barely holds back her tears. She squeezes the hem of her skirt, like she had, when Mamoru first broke the news to her.

Why did he not tell me, until he’s made his decision?

It feels so one-sided. So sudden.

She’s proud of him, certainly. After all, Harvard sounds like a top university in America. She wants to be supportive of his dreams. Their civilian life is precious, especially when putting their future as the planet's monarch in perspective. Usagi understands that he wants to make the most out of it.

Still, she cannot help but think about how far apart they will be.

Loving Mamoru is like chasing after someone who has already had a head start. He keeps getting farther and farther.

But how will she catch up ... if she can’t even see him anymore?

Chapter Text

"Setsuna—san."

Mamoru inhales sharply. He almost skipped the honorific when calling her.

Since when has her name rolled off my tongue so naturally?

It’s hard enough, what he is about to tell her. He sees Setsuna pause at the top of the staircase, glancing back at him with an unsuspecting look that makes him falter.

He can't.

A whistle in the distance fills the silence between them, signalling the arrival of their train.

"... Never mind." Mamoru shakes his head. Sorry, he says more quietly, walking ahead of her onto the platform. He doesn't explain himself.

Setsuna doesn't press him either.

It's a quality of hers that is both calming and disorienting. After all, Mamoru is more used to Usagi's loud persistence. How should he gauge Setsuna's contrasting silence?

Is she content?

Is she upset?

Does she care?

You don't have to do this, he had wanted to say to her earlier, but saying so would reveal what he knows.

Her tear-stricken face.

How she had begged to not have her heart exposed.

… Mamoru had failed her that day.

It's been months since the Hawk's Eye incident, but they haven't once spoken about it. Privately, he’s struggled to forget the invasive and surreal experience. It is a strange thing, to be affected so strongly by having experienced someone else's desires. He feels as though a part of him never left her dream mirror, like something about her has also intermingled with his soul. When he sees Setsuna now, he doesn't just see a mysteriously reserved but strong-willed woman. He feels her refrain from being too close to him. He knows why.

It scares him a little, and his difficulty in getting over the incident makes it all the more unbelievable that she behaves as if ... as if she’s forgotten.

Amnesia is the only reasonable explanation, in fact. Knowing Setsuna, she wouldn't have otherwise spoken to him ever again. The Guardian of Time is just that fastidious.

The train doors open, revealing carriages that are very nearly full. They slip in as best they can, as one does in this part of Tokyo if one wants to get anywhere. Mamoru tries, but has no chance of maintaining a respectful distance with Setsuna, not on a packed train ride towards Chuō district. He was worried about this, too, earlier, but his opportunity to bow out has long passed—back there, when he’d stopped her at the platform.

With a resigned sigh, he peers down to find that Setsuna doesn’t seem to share his consternation. Her pensive gaze is trained far beyond the train window. The subtle hint of lavender in her hair, which is only more apparent from up close, makes him feel a little short of breath, a little warm under the collar. Mamoru turns his head away.

This is too much.

He's already lost count of the times that he's found himself staring at her today. The worst of it was when they were finishing up in lab. Setsuna was redoing her hair bun, something she does habitually at the end of every lab session. Usually he'd look away, just as he is doing right now. These small gestures of hers make his heart flutter in a way that feels all too inappropriate. Today though, he found himself paying attention when she let her hair cascade down her shoulders. He found himself staring, still, when she swept it up in one fell swoop, twisting it into a neat bundle at the nape of her neck. He couldn't tear his eyes away.

What's come over me?

I'm just a little sentimental, he tells himself. Even though he hasn't told her, he knew that it was likely the last time that they would ever work in lab together. It doesn't matter why, Mamoru tells himself too. What matters is that he had let slip. He isn't supposed to. Not when he has Usagi. Thinking about his upcoming departure, Mamoru recalls how his girlfriend had stayed silent, when he broke the news. How she had acquiesced so reluctantly, that for the hundredth time, he wondered if he were making the right decision. He isn’t sure that he’d ever know, not until he’s gone for it. 

No, Mamoru mentally shakes himself. The problem isn’t that he is about to step outside his comfort zone to make his dream come true. It is that he had stared at Setsuna's neckline too intently, so much so that he can vividly remember how it had felt in her dream, to be King Endymion, leaving a sensual trail of kisses on her warm skin. He could almost feel her dangling earrings tinkle against his face. They were graceful on her.

He’d said that last part, out loud.

And Setsuna had heard it.

It was embarrassing.

When she turned around, looking quite startled with a light flush colouring her cheeks, Mamoru had to make an incoherent sound to mask his unintentional compliment. It was too late. "You—must know where to buy nice jewellery," he had added, hastily.

Naturally, her wide eyed surprise turned into a slightly suspicious frown. Mamoru never cared for jewellery, after all. What surprised him was how her face lit up, when he followed up again to explain himself. She surprised him even more by offering up a list of unfamiliar brand names, and suggesting she take him downtown.

And so, here they are, going out together to pick a ring for Usagi.

It's certainly not how he would've imagined spending the last day of school with Setsuna. Mamoru is relieved though. It's been a long journey, getting her comfortable enough to not tiptoe around him anymore—another reason why he’s avoided speaking about her dream mirror with her. He doesn’t want her to drift away again.

Apparently, Setsuna feels relieved as well, but for a very different reason.

“My mind is at ease,” she admits, when most of the passengers have gotten off. They still have another station to go. Mamoru raises a questioning eyebrow as he moves to make room finally. The train is a lot more spacious now. He can breathe easy.

"You've decided to propose to the princess," Setsuna continues to say. She is respectful as usual, but her eyes are now dancing with joyful pride.

If Mamoru hadn’t been blushing before, he is now. I'm not proposing to Usako yet, he wants to say. He means for it to be more of a promise ring, but how would he tell Setsuna that, without also explaining that he is about to study abroad? This isn't how he wanted to tell her. Lord, he should've never involved her. Mamoru covers his face in embarrassment.

“I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have dragged you along."

He wishes he could say more, but she doesn't behave as if she minds it the slightest.

"It is my honor,” Setsuna responds humbly.

The distance that she creates between them is consistently implied in her posture and her words. Mamoru doesn't get it. How does she maintain such composure, when her feelings for him go well beyond her duties to 30th century Crystal Tokyo?

He knows that he didn't fantasize what he saw.

Or perhaps ... she is a good liar after all.

"Don't you just know the future?" He probes warily. "Why would you ... worry?"

Setsuna grimaces a little. She hasn't told him about her quandary as a senshi. "My ability to see across time is limited in this form," she admits.

"Though that isn't even the point,” she adds quietly, her expression returning to its usual sombreness. "You know as I do. Time isn't static."

After all, they are both well trained in space-time physics, though Setsuna is more of the theoretician of the two. She watches as Mamoru falls into deep thought.

"Temporal paradoxes," he mutters finally.

Setsuna nods. He is on the right track.

"So, the future that you and Chibiusa came from," he postulates, "could it be different from the future that we're heading into?"

To his surprise, Setsuna openly makes a pained expression.

" ... In a sense, it already is," she answers, looking off into the horizon again. He could see her, visibly calming down, like she needs to look ahead in order to keep it together. Perhaps that was what she was thinking about too earlier, when she was staring out of the train.

“In my past, I never reincarnated after all."

Right.

"We're here,” she announces.

They've arrived at Ginza.

*

“Many of the rings here have understated but beautiful designs," Setsuna explains outside the flagship store of a famous jeweller. It was his request to not get something too flashy for Usagi, who is only just starting high school. Walking along the show windows, Mamoru leans in to inspect their ring collections. Promising, so far. There seems to be a good range for his budget.

A chicly dressed salesperson exits the store to greet them. "Good afternoon, sir," they say to Mamoru with a welcoming smile. "Are you looking for anything specific today? For your missus, perhaps?"

"Yes, uh," he sees the salesperson smiling and nodding at Setsuna, and panics a little. "No, this is not—“

"He's my future boss," Setsuna offers.

Mamoru feels complicated. He wants to correct her, to remind her how temporal paradoxes work, but he is also distracted by the salesperson, who takes it to a whole other level of misunderstanding. “We’ll be discreet then,” they whisper with a conspiratorial chuckle. “Office romances are quite common these days, you know."

Mamoru blushes profusely. "No, we're not—we’re good friends.” He glances at Setsuna, who looks just as perplexed. "She's here to help me pick a promise ring out, for my girlfriend," Mamoru finishes explaining.

"Oh dear, I'm so very sorry," the salesperson apologizes, though still chuckling as they enter the store. "You have such a magnetic chemistry about you, I misunderstood."

Now Setsuna is blushing, too. She can't even bear to check how Mamoru is reacting as she looks away, her heart palpitating. Unbelievable.

She only allows herself a peek at him again a while later, when they've all moved on to the business at hand. She had not missed what Mamoru had said earlier, that he is finding Usagi a "promise ring". It was a little disappointing to hear, but Setsuna supposes that she understands too. The princess is still quite young. There is plenty of time.

His gesture warms Setsuna’s heart regardless. As Guardian of Time, it is reassuring to know that they are steadily moving towards a familiar future, one in which she would be able to watch over the royal family from a distance once more. It is hard for her still, sometimes, to digest that Mamoru or any of the inner senshi actually considers her a friend, and a good friend at that. It is a privilege that she never imagined having.

Squinting at the kaleidoscopic lights in the store, she finds herself slightly mesmerized by how the prince is starting to resemble King Endymion with every day. Or is it my wishful thinking? Setsuna knows by now, how uncomfortable Mamoru seems to be with her knowledge of his future. She can't help it though. She's spent centuries observing others' lives, the royal family above all else. She can recognize the future king, even by his vague silhouette.

Case in point, Setsuna recalls waking up in the infirmary at the aquarium a while ago, when she was told by Mars and Venus that she'd been attacked by enemies from Dead Moon Circus. The only thing she remembers clearly from that day was Tuxedo Mask. The way his outline had cast a shadow on her. His voice, calling her name. 

But how can that be?

If only her mind would stop replaying her delusions, over and over again. Taking a deep breath, Setsuna regains her composure. She will not be caught daydreaming about a man she cannot have.

Looking around the store, she finds Mamoru again, and sees that he is overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choices provided by the salesperson. She can tell too from his polite reserve that he hasn't seen one yet that feels quite right. Sure enough, he turns to her for advice.

“What do you think, Setsuna—san?"

It would be a lie to say that she hasn’t noticed how odd he sounds when he calls for her lately. The pause that he makes between her name and the honorific, like he is thinking about something. Like he is hesitant. Setsuna doesn’t ask why though. It would be rude to point it out, especially if it doesn't mean anything.

Walking up to the showcase that he is leaning over, she sorts out a few collections with colorful accent stones that complement the center diamond. Mamoru clearly isn’t quite sold. Setsuna feels his gaze on her, like he is trying to gauge something. He does that, too, lately. Staring at her.

Now, that, Setsuna doesn’t want to ask why.

"What would you wear?" she hears him ask finally.

Setsuna realizes then that he’s been studying her jewellery. She feels a flush rise to her cheeks again. "My tastes are different," she says dismissively, turning away.

"I'd like to hear it."

He is insistent.

"You have lovely taste, missus," the salesperson offers too.

"Perhaps it will help him, knowing what you'd choose."

Eventually, Setsuna assents with a nod. It was his compliment of her earrings that has brought them here after all. Inspecting the room carefully, she walks to a different showcase, one with center pieces made of other stones, much different from what they were considering. She points at a garnet ring with a simple band. It has a large center stone in a pear shaped cut, surrounded delicately by a halo of small diamond accent stones.

"A statement piece," the salesperson compliments the choice, pulling the ring out for her.

“Oh no, that's not necessary," Setsuna quickly refuses, but Mamoru presses her as well. "Try it on," he says, picking up the ring, as if to examine it. When he turns to take her hand, Setsuna freezes.

This is not a scenario that she’s prepared herself for.

It takes her all her self control to not sigh audibly in relief, when he briefly pauses over her ring finger, but ultimately slips the ring onto her middle finger instead.

"It looks good on you," Mamoru says quietly, still holding her hand. Setsuna could hardly hear his words. All she can pay attention to is the way that he’s running his thumb over her hand while holding her gaze. Her heart is pounding in her ears. She barely notices that neither of them have looked down at the ring.

"It does," the shop attendant's voice breaks their reverie.

Setsuna quickly withdraws her hand then, a deep blush rising to her cheeks at the realization that they were being watched. Mamoru is embarrassed as well, she can tell. He’s looking away with a hand over his mouth.

"The middle finger symbolizes balance and responsibility, missus,” the salesperson continues to chimes in with a pleasant laugh. “Perfect from a future boss." Their words stir up an unexpected feeling of pride in her work, but Setsuna is more bothered by the implication that Mamoru would buy it for her.

This isn’t right.

"I don't think it would suit Usagi-san," she finally responds curtly, removing the ring and placing it on the counter. The salesperson is quick to pick up on her slight displeasure. Swiftly, they pick out several other non-diamond rings from the same show case.

“How about these then?” they ask a little nervously.

Setsuna takes a deep breath once more. Carefully putting her feelings in check, she turns back to the counter, looking over each of the options offered expertly until she comes upon several rings with a heart-shaped cut. Turning to Mamoru, who still looks a little flustered, she sees that his eyes are shining with approval as well.

He joins her at the counter and pauses to think, before picking one out that has a sweet pink color.

Yes.

“Small Lady,” Setsuna says breathlessly.

“Usako would love it,” he agrees. She’s been missing Chibiusa a lot already.

He hasn’t missed the subtle change in Setsuna’s mood either. While the shop attendant is busy with his credit card and wrapping up the gift, Mamoru takes the moment to check in on her.

“You must miss her too,” he whispers without looking at her directly. He still feels a little awkward from their earlier exchange.

To his surprise, he feels Setsuna shake her head next to him.

"We have our responsibilities,” she says quietly.

Mamoru notices then, for the first time, that Setsuna respects Chibiusa as an equal, as much as she sees her as a young friend and apprentice. Thinking over it in silence, he realizes that the pink-haired senshi is getting closer to the age when Usagi first became a senshi herself. He supposes it is only fair, if not a little austere. Setsuna always seems to have the future in mind.

"It's okay to miss her though," he nudges gently, pressing his hand against her politely placed hands on the counter. An intimate but chaste gesture. It surprises him, regardless, that Setsuna doesn't move either. When he glances at her, he catches the moment her features soften. She must be deep in thought about Chibiusa.

Inscrutable as Setsuna is, underneath that calm appearance is a disarmingly emotionally present person, one whom he barely knows, but knows too much at the same time. Her reaction to the news of him proposing to Usagi—however misinformed—makes sense now. No one means more to Setsuna than Chibiusa, who wouldn’t exist if not for his union with Usagi. Not even her private feelings for him will get in the way.

He feels as though he finally understands something about her. Why she maintains her distance with him. Why she smiles now with a hint of pride, even as she turns to him with her eyes glistening. And why he sees his reflection in the way she looks at him, plain as day. He understands something new about himself too.

Mamoru can hide his face again, look away again, but he cannot deny it.

He’s taken with her.

He's taken with Meiou Setsuna.

Chapter Text

"So, Chiba-kun, you're leaving tomorrow then?"

Mamoru bows in response, handing Professor Kusakabe, his faculty advisor, a printed copy of his senior thesis. "Thank you for your guidance."

Kusakabe sighs, receiving the finished product. 

"We're going to miss you around here,” she says regretfully. “You have been such a stellar student. An incredible role model for the lab … Are you sure you don't want to announce your departure?"

A sad smile touches Mamoru's lips.

 "I'd prefer to leave quietly."

*

No one is in the astrophysics lab, but Mamoru has expected as much. He turns the lights on and takes in his surroundings with a heavy heart as he approaches his old desk. Mamoru empties it like a careful ritual, taking his time to savor this low key but significant step in bringing closure to his years at university. He leaves some books that are too heavy to ship to America, and places them in the lab's small but well curated library across the room. It feels like he is leaving a small part of himself there.

At Setsuna's work station, he pauses to linger over her open lab notebook. Her data entry is impeccable, as usual. She would surely do well on her own thesis project in the coming school year. It's clear, too, that she's on campus right now. Her coat is hanging in the corner. A quiet afternoon like this would be Setsuna’s favorite time to work in lab, though Mamoru timed his visit well - he purposely dropped by when she would be in a teaching assistant meeting. 

Taking a deep breath, he unlatches his brief case and places a copy of his thesis on her desk. He also takes out a box wrapped in gift paper, hesitates, before placing that on her desk, too. 

Mamoru reminds himself that he's decided on this. 

He wants closure. 

It feels like closure. 

Just as he is about to leave, Mamoru hears the lab door click open. He turns to see Setsuna slide the door open with force, much more than she normally would. It hits the wall with a smack. 

"I saw ... the lights were on," she says, slightly out of breath. She must have run here. Setsuna catches his eye and quickly takes a furtive glance at his now empty desk. The look of disbelief on her face tells him everything. 

She knows.

Mamoru feels guilty. He watches her close the door behind her carefully, like she is taking her time to consider her choice of words. When Setsuna turns to face him again, arms firmly placed against her sides, he notices how her eyes convey uncertainty and sadness. A deep betrayal. Mamoru swallows in dread.

"So, it's true,” Setsuna says.

It isn't a question. As always, her questions are rarely expressed with the inflection of one. Mamoru is used to it by now. He nods in response.

"How long," she pauses, as if to gather her wits about her. It isn’t often that her voice trembles like that. “—is the program," she finishes with difficulty. Mamoru hesitates.

“One year ... at least."

"At least?" Her voice goes up an octave. It clearly surprises her as much as it does him. Setsuna immediately purses her lips tight. Mamoru knows nothing he says would help, which is precisely why he wanted to leave quietly, but he might as well come clean now.

"Depending on how well I do over there, I may consider a PhD.”

He doesn't hear her inhale sharply as much as he sees it. The way her lips part subtly in surprise, too stunned for words. A PhD degree in the US can last anywhere from four to six years, maybe more.

"I am sorry,” he approaches with regret. “I … should have told you.” It’s one thing to decide not telling her in person would be better. It’s something else to see the impact in person.

Setsuna shakes her head sternly. He does not owe her an explanation. Whatever personal feelings she has for the news of his departure, she can cast it aside to focus on her duties to the throne. This anger isn’t personal,  she tells herself. This anger bubbling within me is ... disappointment in his lack of concern for his duties, for—

She steels herself. “How does the princess feel about the PhD.” 

Mamoru does not miss the exasperation seething underneath her feigned calmness.

“I haven’t told Usako yet. She knows about Harvard, but the details ... I don't want to alarm her, in case the PhD isn’t even possible."

"But you are considering it.” 

The angry words slip out before she can stop them. Suddenly she’s making all the connections.

"Is this the reason why you picked out the ring, even though you don't plan on being here for her in the next few years, you—" Her eyes go wide with the realization of the broader implications for the timeline that he is considering. "Are you … are you going to be back in time?”

As soon as the question falls from her lips, Setsuna clasps her hand over her mouth. Mamoru can make an educated guess for her concern without her sharing the specifics. After all, Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion, who had stopped ageing nearly a millennium prior to the 30th century, do not look too much older than their present selves. Unlike him, Setsuna must know the precise year that their pink-haired princess will be born, too. It must all happen within the next half decade or so.

Mamoru runs a hand through his hair and down his neck in frustration.

"Is it … really so bad that I want to pursue something that I’m good at? To be more than just a trophy husband?”

What?

Setsuna is so shaken that she nearly forgets how to speak. She latches on to the last words he said, words that made no sense to her at all.

“The king is no trophy—where is this heresy coming from?!”  She is surely losing composure, to be yelling at the future monarch like this.

Mamoru shakes his head, like she should understand what he means. After all—“my powers clearly cannot compare to those of Sailor Moon, much less to Neo Queen Serenity." It's something everyone else seems too polite to mention, even though they are certainly all aware of it. He's been kidnapped most often out of any of them. That much should be obvious.

It surprises him a little, the way Setsuna looks at him like he’s lost his mind. 

"You underestimate yourself, Mamoru-san. You underestimate him. The golden crystal and silver crystal work in tandem to sustain Crystal Tokyo. The Neo Queen doesn’t do it alone. King Endymion is … irreplaceable.”

Mamoru watches her go from expressing disbelief to casting her eyes as her mind wanders to her past, his future. Setsuna's hand unconsciously rises to her lips, like she is remembering something. Mamoru blushes.

Is she even aware of how her expression softens when she thinks of her beloved king? Does she realize that I can see it, plain as day? For reasons that he is ashamed to admit, he feels jealous of the man that she knew he would become in another timeline. Of all people, he is jealous of King Endymion—!

God, I must leave. Now. 

Otherwise, he’s sure to make a fool of himself before the day is over. 

Mamoru turns to leave, but realizes that he’s left his briefcase at Setsuna’s desk. Awkwardly, he stalks to the back of the room to fetch it. The whole time, Setsuna watches him wordlessly from the center of the room, like she is refusing to beg him to reconsider.

" ... Is this really so important that you have to abandon your post here?”

Mamoru knows that he should just answer in the affirmative. He knows that he could also just walk away, but he cannot ignore the trembling in her voice. The honesty, but also the deceit. The way her feelings are so transparent to him, even though anyone else would single-mindedly credit her frustrations to her sense of duty. Even now, she cannot even say what she really means.

Something snaps inside him. 

Mamoru places his briefcase at the door and turns around.

*

“Setsuna—san, tell me something.”

She backs up instinctively. It’s the way he paused again, between her name and the honorific. He takes a step closer.

“Why do you deny yourself happiness?”

Eh? 

"I find it hard to believe that you really want to go back to being the solitary Guardian of Time. Is that what will be in store for you again, some years from now? Is that what you want?”

Setsuna reacts defensively. "That's not your concern. What does this have to do with anything?”

"It has everything to do with me if I'm to be your king." He is right. After all, Endymion—in the future she came from—was in charge of internal affairs, including the welfare of the senshi. “You've made all these friends, lived a normal life, pursuing dreams beyond being a senshi, and you are willing to go back to being alone? How will you, knowing you can have this?” He gestures to the room. To him, Setsuna realizes. She feels a little light headed under his intent gaze, the way he scans over her face raptly. And when has he closed in on her? Suddenly, he’s standing so close.

“I ... wouldn't allow that,” Mamoru finishes. “It would be cruel." 

She can hardly focus. She can feel his body heat radiating off of him, even though they aren't touching. Being just about half a head shorter than him, Mamoru is close enough to have to cast his eyes down on her. Setsuna looks away.

“That's ... kind of you, but I'll be fine," she reasserts. She honestly didn’t think that he would have put so much thought into her position as a senshi. It softens her accusatory stance towards him a little. Still, she's spent millennia alone. Her duty is to Time, and she will guard it with her life, just as she would guard the silver millennium throne. It is not a burden.

It cannot be.

She can sense now that Mamoru is frustrated. Taking a glimpse at him, she sees him bite his lower lip and feels a surge of warmth to her cheeks. Setsuna cannot fathom his consternation. Why does it matter to him what happens to me? She is getting a little frustrated, too, by his redirection. 

“I thought we were talking about you leaving for the US.”

“... And why does that matter to you.”

Setsuna is baffled. “Excuse me?”

“Why does it matter to you,” Mamoru repeats. Something about the way he emphasizes the last word makes her nervous. “You say that time isn't static, but you actually insist on its rigidity. Why is that.”

Setsuna suddenly wishes that she had not explained to him how time works. He hits the nail on its head, and it hurts. He is also now mirroring the tone that she uses to ask questions, which makes her feel defensive again. Setsuna folds her arms together.

“Because it’s my fault." She isn't sure anymore if she is upset at him, or herself. Seeing the growing intensity in his eyes, she looks away again. “I shouldn’t have been in this timeline to begin with.“

“It’s not your fault that we almost all died.”

She knows that. "Still." I shouldn't have been here with you.

“… I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

It takes a moment for Setsuna to process what he meant. She blushes then. Mamoru leans closer to her, his next words barely a whisper. “What would it take ... for you to admit that you don’t want me to go, because ... you don’t?”

 Setsuna’s eyes widen. No. She turns to meet him in the eye. Mamoru is biting his lower lip again, his skin now as flushed as her own. She sees the way he eyes her, really eyes her, and realizes that she isn’t imagining things.

He knows.

Setsuna wishes he wouldn’t speak anymore, but he does. Even with his eyes cast down now, words tumble out from his lips with unprecedented forwardness. "Isn't your dream proof that you can imagine a different future?”

Setsuna runs to leave the room. 

"Wait—”

She doesn't, but Mamoru is faster. He slams the door shut. Setsuna holds on, at first, but eventually lets go of the door handle in defeat. She still doesn’t turn around to face him. Setsuna has never felt so embarrassed in her life.

“Chiba Mamoru ... you are cruel, after all."

"I’m sorry,” he apologizes, even though his hand is still firmly planted on the door. Now that he’s started, he can’t stop. He can’t let her walk away like this, without knowing why he is bringing it up. “I know I shouldn't even have this knowledge about you, but I do, and … I just want us to be honest with each other, for once. Just this once, please, Setsuna.”

To her horror, she hears him say her name without the honorific, and she wants the earth to swallow her up. They've already gone too far. Way too far. “Let me go, please,” she begs. She is on the verge of tearing up. She can’t. Not in front of him. 

“Setsuna.”

Her heart breaks.  It was safe to admire the king, who was married and long betrothed to the queen, with a beautiful child no less. This here is decidedly unsafe. Setsuna cannot do this. Her hands fist up against the door panel. 

“Let. Me. Go.”

Mamoru hesitates.

Reflexively, he wants to move away. To respect her wishes. But he doesn’t want to end things like this. 

Not like this.

But.

He lets go of the door. After all, he has no right to stop her.

To her own surprise, Setsuna doesn’t move. He is doing just as she has asked, and her tears are welling already. She really needs to be alone now.

But.

She is tired of running away.

Tired of hiding. Tired of lying. Tired of pretending.

It's like he can hear her thoughts. “If you’re gonna go, at least consider the possibility that you don’t have to repress yourself.”

Setsuna doesn’t know how to respond to that. Both agreeing and denying to do so would be an admission of her feelings.

"It's natural to be scared of the unknown."

She shakes her head to that.

No, it is not natural for her. She's never not known, until now.

"Setsuna," Mamoru says again, his tone somber. Every time he says her name, it feels like a small part of her is dying, yet also coming alive. A dangerous emotion. Something she dares not even imagine. It disturbs her, too, that he's no longer trying to maintain any emotional distance from her. Mamoru has suddenly accessed a tone that she recognizes well. A tone that the king would use when something weighs heavily on his heart. “I’m scared, too,” he confesses, to her surprise. “I don't think I will ever live up to the idealized version of him you have in your head. ... I suspect ... neither will he.”

She shakes her head in denial now, reaching for the door again. The implications for his concerns frighten her. Mamoru places a hand on hers before she can slide open the door. She snaps her hand away instinctively.

"Please." His voice breaks.

"Don't act like you understand." She barely squeezes out the words.

"I'm trying.”

She turns around to face him then. Her hatred for what he is doing now is evident. And yet, she shudders with the vulnerability that he hasn't been able to forget since that day, the day he was forced into her dream mirror. The vulnerability of having her truth exposed to him. The vulnerability that she is barely able to conceal from him now.

“Don’t try,” she whispers under her breath.

Don’t try, when you can’t do anything about it.

He hears her, and knows that she is right. He should back off now. He should be the one walking away. Yet, her trembling but stiff tone reminds him that the next time he sees her, she is sure to go back to being stone-faced and cordial, or worse yet, a complete stranger to him. She’ll deny that they’ve ever talked like this. That there was ever any intimacy here between them. Even though she'd know it’s not true. Even though he knows he is asking for more than either of them can bear to give, the thought of her slipping back into calling him ‘Chiba-san’ again wrecks him. 

I’ll miss you.

Setsuna can see it in his eyes, but she dares not address it. Dares not ask herself if she feels the same. Dares not even wonder if her facial expression has betrayed her when it counts the most. And then she understands. Why he's been staring at her uncomprehensibly for months now. Why he casts his eyes around her sometimes, when he thinks she's not looking. Why his eyes trail down to her lips—he knows.

He knows how they kiss in her dream. He knows how his name can sound so natural on her lips. There’s really nowhere to hide anymore. It feels like her mind momentarily shut down. The next instant Setsuna registers what is happening, her lips are parting against his. She's dreamt of this moment so many times that she knows how it feels. She's dreamt of this so often when she is fast asleep, when she has the least control over her subconscious. It feels like a dream. It feels like the answer to all her forbidden prayers, ones that she has never even thought out loud to herself. With that thought, the tenderness of the moment dissipates as soon as it materializes. Her lips have barely grazed his, but it is already more than too much. She slaps him, hard, and wants to cry when she sees the look of hurt and embarrassment on his face.

"I despise you, Chiba-san," she hears her own voice say coldly, even as the stinging heat on her palm and her own words betray her feelings.

And she leaves.

This time, he doesn’t stop her.

Chapter Text

ACT II: SHOOTING STAR

"One cannot undo what has happened. But the inexorable march of time offers wise opportunities for redemption. I entreat you, do not escape. Stay in this world and do your karma." - Amish Tripathi

Loneliness was once a foreign concept to Sailor Star Fighter. For one is never alone, when one is born into a cosmic triad.

A karmic existence shared among three, it always starts at the origin with Star Maker. They who create the universe, and bring it to life.

On their way, Star Healer nurtures them, maintaining the balance of their reality. They who sustain the cycle, guiding it along.

At the end of each cycle, it is Star Fighter, who releases their collective energy from the status quo. They who destroy, to start anew.

Together, they are the Starlights. Each star with a duty to fulfill. Each in their own way protecting their royal sovereign on Kinmoku. The universe is only in balance, when they each play their roles properly. Three cosmic souls, moving seamlessly as one … until one unforeseen day, when their star system crumbled under Shadow Galactica’s attack.

Her highness Queen Kakyuu dissipated like dust. It all happened so quickly, yet also in slow motion, like time no longer mattered.

I can’t … feel.

Maker and Healer are screaming in grief.

Is this numbness despair?

Their queen's star seed disappears into Sailor Galaxia's firm and possessive grip.

How can she hold her highness’ soul like it is a thing to steal?

Even while disoriented, Fighter moves automatically to shield the royal heir apparent, Princess Kakyuu. Maker and Healer tightly move into formation around her as well. It is an instinct borne out of their subconscious. A readiness to die, if in exchange for her majesty's survival. For otherwise, what would there be left for them to protect? To love?

It is why what happens next defies all logic.

As Galaxia is ready to deal the final blow, a bright light appears out of nowhere, engulfing Princess Kakyuu from their amidst. Maker and Healer are desperate to get her back, but Fighter instead is drawn to the radiating light, its warm, crimson glow. A strange, yet nostalgic feeling emerges from their shared soul—a part that is Fighter’s alone, previously unknown—reaching out to the mysterious radiance, like it can be trusted.

Like Fighter can trust it with Kakyuu's life. 

"Seiya."

The foreign voice vanishes as quickly as it manifests in Fighter’s mind. And then the light is gone, taking Kakyuu with it, leaving only a hint of her majesty’s fragrance.

Sweet osmanthus. 

The emptiness that her disappearance leaves behind awakens an unfamiliar emotion.

—What have I done?

Chapter Text

“Usagi-chan, can you wash the strawberries and slice them in half?”

No response.

Makoto turns her attention away from the cake batter to find Usagi staring blankly at the TV across the room. She pats the blonde girl’s shoulder gently.

“Oh,” Usagi comes to. “What is it, Mako-chan?”

Makoto smiles and points to the recipe for the strawberry chocolate cake that they are making. “Just wondering if you can help with this step.”

“Oh,” Usagi says again, blushing a little as she reads the instructions. “Yes, strawberries ... Sorry.”

She is often distracted lately, Makoto notices - like something is bothering her.

It is not hard to imagine what is on Usagi's mind, or rather, who. Feigning casualness, Makoto tries to broach the rather delicate subject.

“So, is Mamoru-san doing well?” It has been a month since he’s left for his graduate school program, but the inner senshi girls have not heard Usagi talking about him, at all. “I hear from Ami-chan that Harvard is quite difficult to get into. He's incredible!”

“ … Yeah," Usagi answers quietly, not elaborating any further as she begins to wash the strawberries. She shows no sign of wanting to, either. Makoto is stumped. Normally, praising Mamoru guarantees that Usagi would boast about him, perhaps reveal how they have been doing. Her reticence is honestly very strange.

The truth is that Usagi has noticed, too, that she doesn’t feel like talking about Mamo-chan with her close friends lately.

Even though I told Seiya about him.

She knows that it is odd, that she had felt comfortable telling Seiya Kou. After all, she barely knows the recent transfer student, who is also always teasing her and provoking her, using nicknames without her permission. Like, just the other day—

“What a cold-hearted guy.” Seiya had said casually, after she mentioned that her boyfriend hasn’t written back, despite her letters every day. “Are you sure that he's not deceiving you, Odango?”

There were multiple things that he had said in that moment that could have upset her, but instead of yelling at him, Usagi found herself defending Mamoru quietly. “That’s not true. Mamo-chan is always thinking of me … always …” Her firm response trailed off, distracted by her own thoughts. Usagi remembers vaguely noticing Seiya’s quiet apology. He can be rude, but also honest, and gentle, never dressing up his words to her.

Maybe that is why.

She doesn't feel like she has to tip toe around him.

I'm looking too much into it, Usagi tells herself, glancing at the TV again. She just feels unusually close to Seiya, because his presence is everywhere these days - quite literally. He is a member of the famous boyband, Three Lights. Even now, their debut song is playing softly from Mako-chan’s TV.

Search for your love …

You were always shining
Your every smile a tiny star
You were precious to me
(Everlasting starlight)

That day, I couldn’t protect you
All I could do was hold back my bitter tears
The pain still remains
(I can’t forget you, sweetheart)

“Who do you think it's about?”

“Eh?” Makoto looks up from pouring the cake batter into its tins. 

“Three Lights’ song,” Usagi clarifies, nodding at the TV. The pain in the lyrics especially resonates with her today. She wonders if Mamo-chan would think of her the way she thinks of him, if he had heard the song too. 

Makoto follows Usagi's gaze and lights up when she sees the pop idols on the screen. She was so focused on cooking, she did not realize Three Lights were performing. “Oh, nobody knows for sure, actually!” Makoto is quick to shift to fan girl mode. “They’re pretty tight-lipped, when it comes to that. Taiki-san fields the questions in their interviews. Yaten-kun and Seiya-kun are usually withdrawn—”

“Seiya, withdrawn?” Usagi interrupts with a chuckle of disbelief. "If anything, he seems like he would be overly friendly."

“Oh, uh, right.” Makoto laughs, feeling a little awkward, now that she remembers Usagi isn't a massive fan of the band, like the other girls are. “You don’t like Seiya-kun too much, do you?”

"Eh?" Usagi raises her eyebrows at Mako-chan’s unexpected impression. I guess I’ve been yelling at Seiya a lot. Have I been too mean to him?

“It’s not that I don’t ... like him,” she answers hesitantly. 

On the TV, the chorus ends and Seiya’s solo fills the room. The androgynous and youthful lilt in his voice lends a tender pensiveness to the second half of the song.

Rushing across the distant night sky
I wish on the falling star now
I want to see you, I whisper
(Please tell the starlight)

As time passes by, I grow up
and I finally realize
The fragments that I cannot go without
(Please stay by my side, sweetheart)

Usagi doesn’t … dislike him. She just isn’t quite sure how to read him, especially when she hears him singing like this. Like he is an entirely different person from the playful jerk that she knows at school. Like he is serious about the person that they are singing about.

Who can it be?

“He’s just annoying,” Usagi huffs finally, shaking her doubts off. He's a casual flirt, after all. “You wouldn’t believe what he said about Mamo-chan the other day! We were on the ferris wheel—”

“You rode the ferris wheel with Seiya-kun!? Like, like a date?!”

“No!” Usagi panics. “Just … just to kill time! He wanted to go to the amusement park, I couldn’t say no. You know how Seiya is! Always doing things on a whim—”

“Usagi-chan, that’s—” Makoto falters. It's not possible that Seiya-kun has time to kill, she wants to say. He is a member of the most popular band in Asia, performing on live TV as they speak.

A prolonged silence lasts between them. Makoto readies the cake for the oven, and Usagi finishes slicing the strawberry decorations. When the cake is in, and the oven timer is set, Makoto finally asks, with caution.

“Do you like him? Seiya-kun.”

“ ... What do you mean 'like' ... I have Mamo-chan.”

Right. Makoto inhales and exhales quietly. I shouldn’t have worried.

But Usagi is averting her gaze.

And she also did not deny it, not entirely.

Chapter Text

It's another day of high school, another day of Usagi and Minako goofing off after class, while Ami and Makoto are busy with their club activities.

"And then she hears it, a loud crack!" Minako stops for dramatic effect. “The burglars have broken in through their back door, and the poor high school girl is scared. She lives alone, with no one to rely on.”

"And?? What happened?" Usagi is at the edge of her seat, listening to Minako's theatrical retelling of last night's news.

“Well, she peers out from her bedroom, but she is on the second floor and cannot see anything in the dark. So she grabs the handiest weapon she can find - a broom, and takes one step down the stairs, and another, and another. Her hands are shaking. Her whole body tense with anxiety. But, just her luck, the next step creaks and AHHHHHHHH!!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!" Usagi practically falls off the bench screaming. Her friend bursts into laughter, cackling at her successful prank.

"Minako-chaaan," Usagi whines, tears rolling off of her face. "That was so mean!”

“Aw, don't worry, Usagi,” Minako wipes off her tears of glee. “There are so many people in your family—oh, look, it's Setsuna-san!"

"Wait, but! But—I’m alone tonight," she murmurs after Minako, who has already run half way across the school grounds to the gate, where Setsuna is waiting.

That’s odd. Usagi had just seen Setsuna-san very recently, for the first time in about a month, in fact. Without Chibiusa and Mamo-chan around, there are few reasons to bump into each other. Suddenly, she is checking in on them twice in just one week.

"Hey, Odango."

Usagi frowns deeply at the familiar but unpleasant nickname. She does not have to turn around to know who the culprit is, now jogging by with the school football team.

"Seiya! I told you I don't like that name!”

The footballer falls behind to speak with her, a little short of breath. "Look, I only have a moment—"

"You're changing the topic,” Usagi huffs. 

Seiya Kou chuckles. He likes calling Usagi by her nickname, maybe a little more than he should. She has such a distinct hairstyle. Plus, her annoyance guarantees that she'd address him in return, which is worth her ire. Not that there is a lack of teenage girls calling Seiya by his name these days, but hearing it from Usagi feels special. 

"I overhear you're alone tonight?" He tilts his head questioningly.

"Oh," Usagi shrinks, remembering that her mum has left with her brother to his hockey team retreat, while her dad is working out of town. "Yeah," she admits, looking at her feet. She is frankly a little spooked by Minako's stories.

Seiya notices her concern. “Want me to be your bodyguard?"

He sees Usagi's eyes light up, but dim again immediately. Her expressions change so quickly.

“Aren't you busy though?" Usagi asks, feeling guilty for concerning the busy pop idol. Mako-chan reminded her as much, when they baked together recently.

Seiya cannot help but smile to see Usagi’s emotions play across her face so plainly though. He flicks her on the forehead for being a worrywart.

"I've got time for you, princess," he jokes, unaware of how on the nose the endearing nickname is for her. Usagi blushes.

"Besides,” he adds, eyes hooded in deep thought. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you properly.” His gaze is unwavering, worried but determined.

It's that serious look again, Usagi thinks to herself. “ ... What is it?”

"Oy, Kou!" The football captain yells loudly across the school grounds. "Stop flirting and get moving!"

Seiya and Usagi both blush then.

"Yes, captain!” Seiya calls back. “—Well? What do you say?" He asks again, winking cheekily. “It’s a once in a life time offer.”

Usagi reddens. "Um, okay ... yes! Yes, that'd be great." As soon as she agreed, she feels the weight lift off her chest. It would be a relief to not have to hold down the fort at home alone. "Thank you."

He smiles brightly in response. It makes her heart skip a beat.

"Sweet. I’ll see you tonight then.”

But, of course, he just had to pat her hair bun before heading off.

"Hey! You’re messing it up!" She shoves his hand away, but Seiya only laughs.

“Later, Odango." His fingers lightly trail through her long hair.

"You're being too familiar, Seiya!" She yells after him, though there is a hint of a smile on her lips as she watches him jog away.

A late summer breeze blows across Usagi’s cheeks, raising her long twin tails in the wind. It feels nice. It feels like him. Like Seiya, lightening up the mood of whatever he touches.

Usagi likes that about him.

Glancing at her friends, who are huddled at the school gate in serious conversation now, Usagi hesitates. Even Ami and Makoto have joined them already.

Something feels off.

Setsuna-san rarely visits them at school.

Chapter Text

Setsuna used to enjoy the privacy of working alone in the astrophysics lab on a quiet afternoon.

Lately, however, she finds the silence eerie, like something or someone should have been there. Like he should slide open those doors to greet her again any time now.

Instead, Setsuna tries to convince herself that Chiba Mamoru was never there. That they were never close.

That they never shared time together, alone. 

Sometimes, her self-hypnosis works. On those days, she breathes easy. Her experiments go smoothly, and she can think clearly about anything, but him. On other days, she would find a book in the lab that interests her, only to find Mamoru’s handwritten notes scribbled in the margins. His words would distract her for entire afternoons as she contemplates his digressive, but often insightful, comments. It reminds her of their conversations about space-time distortions and temporal paradoxes. She misses that.

She can admit that she misses that.

Other unintended mementos are harder to digest. Like the hint of his cologne on her lab coat, still faintly lingering on since their last confrontation. When she discovered it, Setsuna immediately threw the coat in the wash. It is one thing for her to ponder his mind. It is entirely something else to lust over him.

... Then there is the gift that he had actually, intentionally, left for her. Setsuna only noticed the gift-wrapped box after his departure. She does not have the heart to open it or throw it away, so she stores it away in her bottom desk drawer, keeping it out of sight, out of mind. That was what she had hoped for, but instead—

She finds that she is still haunted by their kiss that was barely a kiss.

She is ashamed of the many bittersweet dreams that she has had of him since, too. His sensual caresses—however imaginary—leave such delectable imprints on her skin at night, so visceral that it feels as if she had actually learned the contours of his body, even though they were never lovers of any substance.

The worst part of it all is realizing that her wishful thinking has her heartbroken, more than feeling guilty, or even angry. She wants him here because she misses him, not for any noble excuse that she had conjured up for herself.

I don't deserve to be a sailor senshi.

It is a heart-wrenching but now familiar sentiment for Setsuna. The first time that she felt this way was when she regained her memories of her past life as Pluto. She realized that Neo Queen Serenity had reincarnated her, but her imposter syndrome and years of solitude had her convinced that she shouldn't be able to live among the senshi. Now she feels as if her intuition at the time was only a premonition of what was to come. For how can she face Usagi, the Neo Queen to be, after having grazed the lips of her beloved prince?

There is the feeling, too, that she is failing as an outer senshi. Enemies and unfamiliar sailor scouts have been bypassing her defences, arriving in twos and threes from beyond the solar system. The mysterious child with red hair—however cute her heart-shaped hair buns are—is especially concerning. Chibi Chibi has hypnotized the Tsukino's into believing that she is Usagi's sister, just as Lady 'Chibiusa' Serenity would when she time travels to the 20th century. It stands to reason that Chibi Chibi is related to Chibiusa, but as far as Setsuna knows, Small Lady is the royal couple's only child.

So does that mean that the future has already changed beyond recognition?

What have I done?

Setsuna's disquiet has reached a tipping point. Normally, she would not bother the inner senshi with duties that are exclusive to her realm, but as Guardian of Time, she would be damned if she did not explore every avenue to understand what is happening to their timeline.

She arrives at Juban High School, just as Minako sees her, quickly joining her at the gates. "Setsuna-san! What brings you here? Do you have updates on the new enemies?"

Setsuna shakes her head gravely.

“No, I am sorry. What I have for you today is a request for your assistance.” 

She explains that she has been trying to contact Small Lady via Luna P, their personal intercom. Setsuna wanted to check in, and see how things are going in the 30th century. She was also hoping to ask about Chibi Chibi. However, an unknown source of static interference has forced her to switch to the communication system under Game Center Crown.

"When that failed too, I figured I should speak with you and recruit Artemis and Luna to test the hardware.”

Minako hums thoughtfully. “Ami-chan can probably help too,” she says, swiftly dialling her wristband intercom for their resident tech whiz. "Come to the gate when you’re done! Setsuna-san wants to speak with you." 

Knowing Ami could be in a roomful of people, Setsuna smiles at Minako’s discretion and leadership. Silly as she can be, she is reliable.

"Minako-chan. Setsuna-san."

“Mako-chan!”

Minako is surprised to see Makoto first, without having called for her. She clearly came rushing from cooking club - Makoto still hasn’t changed out of her apron. "I saw you from the home ed room," she explains, her breath a little short from running to meet up with them. "Is everything alright?" 

They are all feeling a little tense lately. Setsuna apologizes for worrying Makoto into rushing over. "I just want to make sure that we're not missing something." She refers to her concerns of Chibi Chibi.

“She really looks like Usagi-chan though," Makoto muses, while Minako's eyes light up with the chance of juicy gossip.

"Yes, even more so than Chibiusa-chan, really!"

Sensitive to Setsuna-san's concern for Chibiusa, Makoto interjects, "Well, Chibiusa-chan takes after her father, you know? I'm sure she's doing well back home." She smiles at Setsuna, who smiles back, though less convincingly. 

Ami arrives just in time for Minako's conspiracy theories about Chibi Chibi's origins.

"She must be Usagi's illegitimate child, or perhaps her half sibling from another life!"

Setsuna listens vaguely as Makoto and Ami attempt to reign Minako in. Her thoughts trail back to Chibiusa, and the man that she is trying hard not to think about.

All I wanted was to watch them from afar, make sure they are safe … why has it become so hard?

She looks for Usagi, the one Juban student missing among them, and recognizes the moon princess even from afar. Usagi's signature hair buns and twin tails are hard to miss. Setsuna is surprised, though, to see her talking to an unfamiliar boy, one that she vaguely remembers seeing somewhere. 

"Are those two close friends?"

Makoto turns to where Setsuna is looking. "Oh, ... yeah." The hesitance in her voice is telling. "That's Seiya-kun. He's a transfer student."

"And a pop idol. Isn't he gorgeous?" Minako rests her chin on Makoto's shoulder with goggly eyes. "He's frustratingly off limits though," she claims with a conspiratorial grin. It isn’t the first time Minako has brought it up, clearly, as Makoto sighs like they have heard it all before.

"You don't know that. And wasn't Seiya-kun your favorite?" 

"He was," the Goddess of Love sing-songs. "But even I know he's a hopeless case. I mean, look at them." She gestures to the way Seiya is riling Usagi up again. He really seems to know how to press her buttons. Minako waves an imaginary banner over them. "Might as well put up a sign saying they're smitten with each other."

"Minako-chan!" Ami is ever the puritan.

"What," Minako refuses to budge on her stance. "They even went on a date the other day!" 

Ami gasps scandalously. She's been so busy with her studies lately. She had not kept up with the gossip.

"But ... she has Mamoru-san, you know." Even Makoto sounds unconvinced.

"Did he give Usagi-san something, before he left?"

"Eh?" The three inner senshi respond in chorus to Setsuna's unexpected question.

"Mamoru ... san," Setsuna qualifies quietly, savoring the now odd familiarity of his name on her lips. "Did he give her something, like a gift?"

It's something that has been bothering her, since she last saw Usagi with Chibi Chibi: Usagi was not wearing the ring that Mamoru had picked out for her. 

The girls are now looking at each other uncomprehendingly. 

"Never mind." There is no way that they would be so confused by her question, if he had given it to Usagi. Receiving a ring would've been a big deal for her.

Did he not give it to the princess then? 

There is no way for Setsuna to ask without revealing that she knows it exists, and she is not ready to explain how she does.

The inner senshi go back to bickering over Seiya and Usagi, but Setsuna doesn't join in, still caught up in her thoughts about the missing ring. She pays closer attention to the boy that they call Seiya, and notices the strong aura that surrounds him. One that isn’t menacing, but unusually bright. Potent. She wonders if it is because he is a celebrity.

Regardless, he isn’t the future king.

The near automatic thought makes Setsuna self-aware of how she thinks of Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion's everlasting love as a source of comfort. That she has always been certain, beyond a doubt, that Usagi and Mamoru would always be with each other, regardless of the suitors pursuing them. That she can rely on the royal couple's intertwining destinies to bring Small Lady into being, and defend the future of their star system. 

But what does Setsuna know about destiny anymore?

She watches Usagi's lingering gaze on Seiya, long after he had jogged away. 

"It’s natural to be scared of the unknown,” Setsuna whispers.

"Eh?" Minako pauses mid-squabble. "Did you say something, Setsuna-san?"

Setsuna shakes her head.

It was a private thought.

"At least consider the possibility that you don’t have to repress yourself."

Mamoru's word of advice dislodges a feeling that is stifled within her, something as perplexing as it is alluring. She looks up at the sky, soaking in the intense summer hue that reminds her of him.

His deep blue eyes.

She still gets lost in them.

You don’t know what you are asking of me, Mamoru-san.

Chapter Text

"Is her majesty really here?"

Yaten is always the first to break the ice on topics that are silently taboo for Three Lights.

Taiki does not answer immediately, but gestures towards their studio, in case there were paparazzi listening.

“Yes,” he says quietly, once they are at their door. “I sense her aura even now.”

Annoyed and frustrated, Yaten clicks his tongue in response.

"Then why won’t she appear to us?” He lightly kicks open the door to their home. “And why, of all places, this remote star system!? Their inane social norms piss me off!”

Discarding his school uniform in the middle of the room, Yaten does not wait for the front door to close before transforming into Healer, their feminine form. Taiki ushers Seiya to get in the room quickly, while Healer saunters over to their wardrobe half-naked, in full view of anyone walking by outside. Not that there is anyone out there. Healer isn't that irresponsible. They choose a loose kimono, and snicker at Taiki's sigh of relief as soon as they drape it on, covering their modesty - but more importantly, their feminine body. Healer knows that Taiki is displeased, but also amused by Healer's desire to provoke at every opportunity.

Willing his professional side to take over, Taiki closes the door behind Seiya with a snap. "Healer," he begins to patronize.

Healer blows a raspberry in response. They are aware that they, the Sailor Starlights, have a pact to maintain strict secrecy over their identities as senshi. The three of them had agreed to stay in their masculine civilian forms on Earth too, unless absolutely necessary. “But we're home now, hm?" Healer quips, kicking off their trousers too. It feels good to remove it all after a long day of school. "Plus," they emphasize with a flick of their long silver hair. "It's not my fault that this planet has such uninspired men's wear. So drab for no reason."

"That, I agree," Taiki nods, loosening his uniform as well.

"I also look twelve in it.” 

“No, you don’t,” Taiki chuckles. It’s hard to stay mad at Healer, when they can be so endearingly blunt. He glances at Seiya, who is humming to the blaring music on his headphones as he walks by them, seemingly unaware of the bickering going on in the room. Taiki wants to have a word with him, over how preoccupied he seems of late, but Healer distracts him before he could ask.

“Easy for you to say,” they hiss, poking Taiki at the waist, which comes up to Healer's chest easily with their height difference. “You have the height to pull off the look.”

Seiya has disappeared into his room.

Taiki sighs, turning to face Healer. He notices the deep frown hiding underneath Healer's bangs and smiles, sweeping their soft hair aside and hooking it onto their ear. Indulging Healer, he also transforms into her feminine form.

“Patience, love,” Maker coos, leaning in to touch her forehead against Healer's. “This won’t last forever, and you are perfect as you are.”

Healer huffs, moving their face away from her. “Better not last forever,” they mutter under their breath, though speaking with far less venom now, especially as Maker shifts to wrap her arms around them. It’s rare for her to initiate physical intimacy. Healer snuggles in with appreciation.

“We’ll find her,” Maker says, and not for the first time. “Things will go back to as they were.”

Healer does not quite share her optimism. “I don’t know,” they say, voice trailing off.

In the grand scheme of things, Healer admits that their issues with their choice of appearance on Earth is the least of their concerns. The Starlights are here to find Princess Kakyuu. Disguising themselves as a boyband is only a means to an end.

The longer they are in their civilian identities though, the more Healer feels out of sorts. Every small nuisance is amplified, until it feels as though life is just going to be the way it is from now on. That thought is truly, truly unbearable for them.

“I just want to go home,” Healer whispers softly, not for the first time either. Maker nods, making space for their feelings, despite knowing that they cannot do as Healer wishes. The truth is that neither of them really knows what would happen, even if they were to find their princess. Sailor Galaxia is destroying every planet in her wake. It might already be too late to stop her. Regardless, Kakyuu is their last thread of hope to recover the life that they once knew. The one that Healer badly misses. The one that Maker wishes fervently to rebuild again.

“We’ll find her, I promise,” she reassures Healer, kissing their forehead. 

The gloominess between them settles down, and a soft melodic humming from across the room reaches their ears. Maker glances over to Seiya's bathroom. Healer makes a tired gesture to turn to his voice.

“He sure seems to be enjoying this … life we have here.”

Maker frowns in agreement. She lets go of Healer to check in on their raven-haired companion. “Seiya,” Maker calls, opening his bathroom door, which lets the steam roll out. “Are you off to somewhere this evening?”

The singing stops, so does the running water.

Seiya emerges with a towel loosely wrapped around his waist. He runs his fingers through his short bangs, looking slightly put off by the interruption.

“Well?” Healer coaxes from across the room with a hand on their hip. The way he is taking his sweet time to answer is starting to piss them off. Seiya refuses to take the bait. He’s learned by now that any impassioned reply would cause Healer to provoke him further, so he takes a plainspoken but calm approach instead.

“I was under the impression that we agreed to respect boundaries over how we spend our free time.” He tightens the towel on his hip.

Healer snickers. “So you can wag your tail at that common girl again?”

Seiya loses his cool before he could think about it. “What is it that you have against her!?”

“Your unbelievable obsession, that’s what!!”

Maker coughs loudly, which silences them before their back and forth escalates further. She is, for the most part, their voice of reason.

“Please, Healer. You are ... too blunt sometimes."

Healer is making a face at her now, so Maker takes up the more diplomatic role and turns to Seiya.

"Fine, you’re right," she admits. "We did agree.”

In fact, it was Maker who had suggested the rule, when she noticed how off sync the three of them have become recently. It was never difficult for them to work together, but failing their princess has torn open an unprecedented wound between them, one that requires negotiation of boundaries to maintain group morale. Having some personal space has helped prevent them from getting into fights as often.

Healer couldn’t care less though. They never liked the rule to begin with.

“You’re too lenient,” they point an accusatory finger now at Maker. “We were always three. as. one,” Healer adds with punctuation, like it should be too obvious to say out loud. "How is it that we've become okay with losing that connection?" We used to move together without even thinking!

In a fit of anger, Healer turns to Seiya and walks right up to his face, which causes him to back up instinctively. Healer is the shortest among them, but in some regards the most intimidating. Their words are biting, too.

“Perhaps, you've failed to notice," Healer continues to address Maker, even as they are glaring at Seiya. "How Fighter here seems to have forgotten our one and only duty to her majesty.”

Seiya flinches at his senshi name, and the accusation. It reminds him that something has felt different for him since they landed on Earth, but he does not have the mental capacity at the moment to pause and consider what it is. Healer is continuing to berate him mercilessly. “No surprise, I suppose."

“We don’t know what happened,” Maker reminds Healer, before they could get too personal and spiteful. 

Healer is aware that they are being unfair at this point. It is no secret that Seiya blames himself the most for Princess Kakyuu's disappearance. But they cannot stop themselves. Not without letting out some of the deep-seated bitterness for their tragic fate. Healer wants to scream. Tear everything apart. Nothing has been fair!

“Yeah, we don't know,” they say, pointing at Maker and themselves. Healer narrows their eyes at Seiya. “But I bet you know why, Fighter, and you're choosing to forget all about it. That you didn't even try to save her.”

“No,” Seiya answers.

“Uh-huh.”

“Healer,” Maker warns, the sternness in her tone finally forcing Healer to bite their tongue. 

Healer sees it then, the plain hurt in Seiya's face. An immense guilt overcomes them, but they turn away quickly to hide it.

An awkward silence befalls the room.

Slowly, Seiya takes the opportunity to dry his hair off, pack his bag, and get changed into his street clothes. He does not plan to be guilt tripped into staying, but he also notes that neither of them are trying to stop him now.

While Healer is stubbornly refusing to be the first to speak again, Maker is not stopping Seiya because she knows that the more they try, the more willful he would become. He's always been rather headstrong.

They all are.

When Seiya pauses at the door, Healer almost breaks into tears. They hold it in though, waiting for him to speak. 

“I promise you," Seiya says, turning to look at the both of them in the eye. There is no deceit in his gaze.

Healer remembers then. Fighter/Seiya isn't actually capable of lying.

“Even if I had tried to," he confesses quietly. "I wouldn't be able to forget it ... ever.”

The three share a look of mutual understanding, one in which they know that they all feel responsible for losing their princess. It feels as though another round of strong emotions is about to well up between them, but Seiya cannot bear to stay to discuss it. When he turns to leave, Healer calls out on impulse. “I’m sorry."

Seiya waits for them to continue, but Healer doesn’t say anymore. He knows that they have trouble owning up to their insecurities, but he doesn’t know how to address them right now either.

Not without confronting his own.

“I know,” he says instead, with a crestfallen smile. “I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

As soon as he is gone, Healer turns to hug Maker again, burying their face in her chest. "It's okay," Maker whispers, patting their head as they have a much needed cry. "We'll be okay."

It's not clear if she meant the two of them, or three, or all.

Even Maker isn't really sure.

Chapter Text

"Where's Kurosuke?"

"Eh?" Usagi looks up from the tray that she has brought into her room.

"Your cat," Seiya clarifies, helping her and Chibi Chibi. The young child is humming delightfully, taking one fork after the other from him and placing them around the coffee table.

"Oh, you mean Luna?" Usagi looks around, realizing suddenly that her feline companion has been absent all evening. 

That’s odd. Normally, Luna would have been pestering her about her cleaning skills, especially before a guest comes over.

"Luna," Seiya repeats. "Like the moon?" he asks, glancing out her bedroom window. Usagi turns to see his eyes trained on the silver orb that is peeking out from behind the clouds. "That's a pretty name,” Seiya says absently, like Luna’s name is reminding him of something else, something important.

Usagi finds herself staring at his long eyelashes in the moonlight. He looks so concerned. She shakes the thought off as soon as she notices it.

He’s just good at looking cool. There’s nothing to it.

"Well, yes," she scoffs, handing out cups of tea. "I mean, compared to 'Kurosuke' for a girl! You sure have a knack for mean nicknames."

Predictably, he whips his head around.

"That wasn't me! Yaten—" Seiya pauses at the thought of his silver-haired companion, who has made no secret of their loathing of Earthly beings. Except for Kurosuke, or Luna, apparently, who seems to be a therapeutic presence for them. 

"Yaten named her, not me," he finishes with a soft defensive huff. 

Usagi chuckles at that, imagining Luna's heart eyes when she is cuddling with the pretty singer. "I guess she hasn't been complaining."

Seiya raises an eyebrow. "You say that like she can speak." 

"What?” Usagi pales, suddenly realizing that she had spoken her thoughts out loud. “O ... of course not!"

"Can she?" Seiya peers into her face teasingly. "You don't have to keep secrets from me, you know."

"I ... I don't know what you're talking about.” Usagi turns away, a little too intensely, she knows, but she is not good at lying. “Cats don't ... don't speak!?" 

"I don't know." Seiya shrugs dramatically, clearly joking. "Kurosuke does seem like a mighty smart cat."

"Smart cat," Chibi Chibi repeats in agreement between sips of tea. 

Usagi’s face falls, suddenly realizing why Luna is not home.

She was probably also called upon by Setsuna-san.

Seiya would have continued egging her on, but he stops as soon as he notices her thoughts turn inward. It’s that look on her face—one that he has noticed on occasion—like there is an underlying sadness to her that threatens to spill over, whenever she isn't being distracted from it. He wishes she could feel safe and comfortable enough with him to share the burden.

" … Would you tell me, Odango?"

"Eh?" Usagi comes to at his unusually serious tone.

"If something is bothering you, would you tell me? Would you ... trust me?" 

For a moment, she forgets whatever else was on her mind. His sincere gaze leaves her at a loss for words. Seiya has a knack for catching her unawares. How does he not even flinch, saying such embarrassing things—!

Usagi laughs awkwardly in an attempt diffuse the tension. "I … I think I've been pretty up front about not liking your nicknames for me, haven't I?" She quickly moves to serve him and Chibi Chibi each a slice of chocolate cake. Usagi hands out warm, wet towels to clean their hands, too.

Seiya smiles and shakes his head. That's not what I meant. But he politely thanks her for the towel anyway, and asks if she made the delicious-looking cake.

Usagi admits that she only helped slice the strawberries and dip the decorative ones on top in dark chocolate. Most of the baking and decorating were done by Makoto.

"Her food’s delicious," she announces with pride. "I guarantee you’ll like it."

Beside Usagi, Chibi Chibi is proving her point by already digging in with gusto. “Like it,” Chibi agrees, licking the rich frosting all over her lips.

Seiya nods. Usagi always uplifts her friends, and he likes that about her. Sometimes though, he finds it concerning that she has a habit of downplaying her part in things. As if to make a point, he moves to only pick up the chocolate-covered strawberry on top of his serving.

“Looks good,” he comments, twirling it before taking a hearty bite. Seiya chews slowly, savoring the sweet, tangy flavor, mixed with the slight bitterness of the dark chocolate.

"You’re right, I do like it," he says after a while, now enjoying the earl grey tea that she had served him. Usagi does not miss the roguish smile playing at the corner of his lips, even as it disappears behind the teacup. Her cheeks flush at his obvious sweet talking.

Why does it always feel like he’s teasing me?

Even his seemingly genuine compliments feel too ticklish to be true. She refuses to be the only one made to feel this uncomfortable.

"What secrets are you hiding?” Usagi prods him back, now propping her chin on her hands and narrowing her eyes. “You must have many, you know, being a pop star and everything.”

Yes, that must be why he's so bold. 

When Seiya coughs self-consciously, Usagi thinks that she has successfully placed him under scrutiny. She has no idea that he is losing his composure because of how intently she is all of a sudden staring at him. Seiya is not used to Usagi being this focused on him. Suddenly finding it hard to make eye contact, he loosens his hoodie strings and fans himself under the collar.

Taking a deep breath, he finds the courage to finally meet her gaze. He reminds her, “I asked first.”

“No, I already told you!”

He does not back off, even in the face of her cute, scandalized expression. “That didn’t count, and you know it."

Usagi pouts. "Fine," she gives in. "What do you want to know?" 

“Well …”

She watches as Seiya looks around her room, like he is searching for something. For some reason, Usagi finds herself fidgeting with her make-up brooch in her pocket.

No, but what if—?

She had come very close to exposing her senshi identity last time, when the two of them got attacked by an enemy during their ‘date’ (that is, at least, according to Mako-chan’s definition of one). She watches nervously now, as Seiya’s eyes hover on the bookshelves behind her.

He hesitates, but finally parts his lips to ask. It is a question that has been on his mind, ever since he first surveyed her room upon entry.

"Why ... do you not have a photo of him in your room?"

"Oh.”

Usagi did not expect that question at all. She glances behind her briefly, realizing now what he was looking at. "I ... well. I don't … care for photos that much."

But Seiya saw the way that she had averted his gaze. She is lying. He can tell. After all, Usagi's bedroom is, otherwise, exactly how he had imagined it would be. Color coordinated in pastel tones, like the stationery that she brings to school. Rabbit themed decorations and pillows are on every surface—that one is obvious why. There is also a shelf in the corner, dedicated to her favorite hobbies: video game consoles, comic books, and a well-stocked stash of snacks.

The only thing that is clearly missing is any memorabilia of “Mamo-chan”, her long-distance boyfriend. Considering how much she has talked about him before to Seiya, it feels quite strange, especially because of the family portraits behind her, which includes who look to be her two siblings and her parents. Seiya doesn't get a chance to ask her to elaborate though.

"My turn," Usagi says quickly, already diverting his attention away.

Though hesitant to move on, Seiya nods in assent.

"Where are you from?" Her eyes are wide in curiosity. 

"You from?" Chibi Chibi adds, resurfacing from finishing her cake.

This question does not surprise Seiya as much. Afterall, he and the Three Lights have deliberately left their background story a mystery, even to their most hard-core fans. They certainly had to lie on their official school records. As a result, Seiya has a plausible lie at hand already. He could just recite it, he knows. Just lie to her, like she just lied to him. Seeing her genuine interest in his answer though, Seiya finds himself wanting to tell her the truth. If he wants Usagi to open up to him, wouldn’t he have to reciprocate the trust?

Most importantly, he wants to confide in her. Seiya has a strong feeling that she would understand. He sees it—even now—Usagi's unreserved warmth. It is an aura that is so familiar … so like that of hers, the senshi who always stumps them. The one who heals their enemies instead of destroying them.

Could she really be Sailor Moon?

"Before I can answer that," Seiya clears his throat, straightening his posture with a sense of resolve. "There's something else I need to tell you first."

Usagi leans forward, genuinely intrigued now. "What is it?"

"Is it?" Chibi Chibi imitates.

Seiya dithers. Their intense focus makes him feel a little shy. "I don't know. You might laugh at me. It's probably ... hard to believe."

"Believe what?"

He shoves a hand in his pocket, fingers tracing over the familiar texture of his Sailor Change Star. Should he really be exposing his companions? But Seiya has the strong urge to say something, even if it is only a partial truth.

"That I'm not from—"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence though. 

"Chibi Chibi, NO!!"

A thick splat of buttercream and chocolate sponge cake lands on Seiya's face with comical timing. Usagi desperately holds on to the wriggling child, who is whining and attempting to spread more of the mess onto him.

"No, no more!" Usagi scolds with exasperation.

Seiya laughs in defeat. "It's alright," he says. He can't be mad at a child now, can he?

"Wash haaaands!" Chibi wails then, trying to extract herself from Usagi, who finally lets her go. The young girl runs off to the upstairs bathroom on her own.

"I'm sorry," Usagi exhales ruefully. "She's usually so well behaved."

Seiya reassures her that it is fine and wipes the mess off his face with the wet towel, which quickly becomes covered in chocolate. He sees that she was barely spared, too, with splashes of the confectionary splattered across her face during the struggle with Chibi Chibi. She hasn't noticed yet though, and is instead crouched over him, busy trying to wipe off the mess on his hoodie with her clean towel. Her face is so close. It makes his heart race.

Seiya tries his best to sit still as Usagi mumbles in frustration. "This needs washing. And you have some in your hair - gosh, I'm so sorry.” The alluring smell of sweet chocolate is heavy in the air, mixing with the pleasant fragrance on her skin. She must have showered before he arrived. The thought is positively giddy making. He couldn’t help it anymore.

"You have some, too," he finally tells her, running a thumb over her cheek to wipe the frosting off. It is a tender and intimate gesture, he knows, but something about the way that she is fretting over him makes him feel closer to her.

"There," he says, absently taking a taste of the frosting on his hand as he checks that her face is clean now. He raises an eyebrow in surprise at its hidden marshmallow-like texture. "This is delicious." 

Usagi is barely listening. All she can focus on is the way that he had released his thumb with a pop and licked what's left from his fingertips. He is looking at her now from within a breath’s distance, thumb pad pressed against his lips and humming appreciatively, like he wants more. Like he would, if given the opportunity. Her breath catches in her throat.

"You … shouldn’t do that to just any girl, Seiya," Usagi finally lets out.

He doesn't take heed though. Not when she seems to still think he would do this to anyone else. Not when she is still hovering over him, with her hand on his chest. Slowly, he places his hand over hers, pressing it against his heart.

"… I did say I like it," he braves to admit. The double innuendo* is not lost on Usagi, but she cannot bring herself to even consider it possible. 

"I'll ... change," she stutters with a blush, finally removing her hand from his grasp to turn away. "You should go downstairs to clean up too."

Seiya lets go without resistance. She wants space, and he will respect it.

*

Even as Usagi is washing and rinsing Seiya’s cake-stained hoodie in the sink later, she cannot believe their earlier exchange.

What was he thinking!? And the way he took my hand and placed it over his heart, and said—no, Usagi cannot even repeat it in her mind. It was such a tender gesture.

Not even Mamo-chan has done that to me before!

The thought of Mamoru is sobering. Usagi is very aware that she had lied earlier to Seiya. She did have a photo of her prince charming in her room, once upon a time. The pitter patter of rain falling outside brings her attention to the window. The moon is nowhere to be seen now.

“Oh yeah,” she mutters to no one in particular. “The forecast did say there would be a storm tonight.” 

An unspeakable emotion surges to the surface, one that she has, by now, made it a habit to suppress. Usagi closes the window with a hard snap. Absently, she returns to the sink to continue scrubbing away. The repetitive movement is soothing, mind-numbing even, but she can only curb her intrusive thoughts for so long.

Soon, her mind wanders to a particularly rainy evening some months ago. It was after another silly fight with Mamoru. With umbrellas in hand, she had run after him and Setsuna. The two had left the Tsukino residence not too long before the sky opened up. Usagi did not want them to catch a cold—for a girl who is afraid of lightning, it was rather brave of her, if she may say so herself.

What she saw that night at the train station, however, weighs heavily on her mind, even to this day. Catching up to them, she saw Mamoru lending Setsuna his green jacket. It had surprised her so much that Usagi was frozen to the spot, standing long in the rain after the two had parted ways. It was a miracle that she did not catch a cold that night. After that evening, Usagi never saw Mamoru wearing the jacket again. She even asked him about it, as innocently as possible. When he brushed it aside, it only solidified the disquiet on her mind.

… Why?

It made her question his honesty, even their whole relationship. And now—

Is Mamo-chan … at least writing letters to her?

The thought of the person who was supposed to be the love of her life falling in love with someone else and ghosting her is unbearable. But what can she do? Mamoru wouldn’t write back, and Usagi has no courage to confront Setsuna. So much so that, lately, she finds it hard to look at her outer senshi companion in the eye. The best Usagi can do is pretend she doesn't have an inkling that something is wrong. Pretend that she is ok.

Usagi cannot think about this anymore. Every time she does, she feels sick to the stomach. Right now, she is thankful for the sound of running water in the room, and the pouring rain outside. Together, they are drowning out the sob forming in her throat, giving her some much needed privacy in her moment of vulnerability.

Wiping away her tears, Usagi gathers her wits enough to turn off the tap. She squeezes Seiya’s hoodie dry and hangs it up. That’s when she hears him – Seiya, humming next door.

Usagi closes her eyes and follows the mid-tempo song. She leans her back up against the wall. Through the thin barrier between the laundry area and the shower room, she takes in the soothingly beautiful cadence of his voice.

“In this shiny white world … there you are, with wings spread wide open … hmm—”

It’s a song that she has never heard before, even Seiya does not seem to not know all the words to it.

“I suppose two showers a day might be a little excessive,” he muses next door. Looking through the Tsukino family's eclectic assortment of shampoos and soaps, Seiya goes for a bottle that looks relatively generic and harmless. He scrunches up his nose as soon as he sniffs it. Ew! The body soap had a strong musk that does not agree with his senses. Putting it away, he experiments with a few more, until he comes across a familiar and sweet, floral scent.

"Oh.”

He puts that away, too. No, this is too intimate.

As soon as he lets go of the bottle, it drops on his head, pouring a good portion down his neckline and onto his bare chest. Panicking, Seiya picks up the bottle, puts it back in its rightful place, and immediately tries to wash the rest off, but instead ends up lathering up. To his dismay, the shower room is now filled with Usagi’s fragrance. It is as if she is everywhere and all over him. Seiya feels as if his heart would explode with all these unfamiliar feelings.

How did I become like this?

He is not used to feeling so helplessly drawn to someone. 

“… One day … you appeared in front of me,” he sings, humming between lines as he improvises. “Suddenly tearing my heart apart …”

His thoughts turn to those moments when Usagi would look downcast.

“When you’re unsure … when you’re sad, I will be there,” he adds, even though he knows that he isn’t the one that she wants by her side. “… Show me your smile, always … hmmm this must be the most inappropriate one-sided love ... in the galaxy,” he whispers the last part under his breath. An air of melancholy takes over.

Seeing his blurry outline in the fogged-up mirror, Seiya’s mind wanders to his still unfamiliar masculine body. His lean muscles. His not quite filled out shoulders. Seiya doesn’t hate it, not the way Healer does theirs. He's also not ambivalent, the way Maker is, anyway.

Truthfully, he quite likes it.

If anything, he feels the desire to fill out more.

But he understands that it is wrong to desire to stay in this form, when they are waiting for the day that they would no longer need to disguise as human—when he would no longer be Seiya—because it would also be the day that they find Kakyuu. Our beloved princess.

Seiya squints his eyes shut in frustration under the shower. 

He can't get attached.

To this body, or to Usagi.

But he wants to.

He feels at ease, with this, with her, in a way that he hasn't been able to in a long time, if ever. Still, he has to remind himself that Usagi doesn't know the other side of him. The side that isn’t Seiya. The side that feels less masculine. The side that he is not as sure about anymore.

But am I not sure because I failed my sovereign as a senshi … or because I like this body that I have now?

There is no easy answer to that.

Lost in his thoughts, Seiya doesn’t notice the passage of time, until the shower begins to run cold. Turning it off, he takes a sneak peek out of the shower and finds a large, thick towel.

“Odango?” 

He hears thunder outside. When did it start pouring?

Wiping his long hair dry and wrapping the towel around his waist, he looks around in the corridor outside. The living room looks dark, too. Usagi is nowhere in sight.

“Odango … where are you?”

Just as lightning strikes, he hears a tiny squeak. Booming thunder follows soon after.

He hears another peep. It sounded like it came from above.

Cautious not to lose his towel, Seiya walks up the stairs. He soon finds Usagi crouched outside what looks to be her brother's bedroom door, with her head buried in her arms. Chibi Chibi is standing over her, looking concerned.

“Are you okay? Does something hurt?”

Usagi shivers again at the next lightning strike, like she is bracing for the sound that is sure to follow. Realizing what is likely bothering her, he crouches down to her level. “Is it the lightning?” he asks, speaking as softly as possible, so as not to scare her.

Usagi nods weakly.

Seeing her shrink her already tiny frame, Seiya feels the urge to squeeze her tight. He has not forgotten the boundaries that she had set with him earlier, however. He places a hand on her shoulder instead, hoping that it would at least remind her that he is right there with her. Usagi does not move away.

“It’s okay,” he hushes. “It’s alright. It can’t hurt you.” He can tell that she is inconsolably scared. “I’m right here," he tells her, remembering the lyrics that he had just thought of earlier. Humming softly, he pats her back to a slower tempo than before, at a pace that he normally finds soothing when he is anxious.

“When you’re unsure, when you’re sad, I will be there,” he sings again, barely above a whisper.

There is something potent in his voice that brings Usagi back from the brink. 

 “I will be there, so … show me your smile, always.”

As she finds her bearings in his singing, the sound of thunder begins to feel farther and farther away. Seiya is blessed with an openly vulnerable voice, one that is destined to reach deep into the hearts of anyone listening. She feels it now - every word and every syllable, directed at her. It is overwhelming. It is cathartic.

Usagi takes a deep breath. And another. And another. Opening her eyes finally, she meets Seiya’s concerned but reassuring gaze. He is right there. Just like he said he would be. Usagi smiles, and he smiles back, relief washing over his features. 

“Thank you,” she says, feeling a little shy now that the feeling of danger has passed. She is about to make a self-deprecating joke about being scared of lightning at her big age, when Usagi looks down and realizes that Seiya is half-naked. 

She screams bloody murder, her voice rising a pitch.

“Why—are you not wearing anything!?”

Seiya blushes from head to toe. “I’m sorry, I don't have—” He protests. “I was just about to ask!”

Usagi remembers then why she was in her brother’s room. She picks up the shirt and pajama pants that she had acquired from Shingo’s closet and throws them in Seiya’s general direction. 

“Those should fit you!” she squeaks, quickly turning away and covering her eyes, but not moving from her spot. She is still scared and does not want to be alone.

Seiya wants to laugh at her determination to not look, despite having just been an inch from his bare chest a moment ago. Giving himself a moment to watch her squirm a little more (“Are you done yet?!”), he gets changed, before tapping her shoulder eventually.

Usagi parts her fingers, but still does not turn around.

“I’m dressed,” he promises. “Though I think your brother is a bit shorter than me.”

Usagi turns around cautiously to see that Shingo’s pants—even though he’s grown a lot since entering junior high school—really do not quite reach down to Seiya's ankles. Seiya adjusts the waistband a little to get comfortable, enough to show skin, which causes her to blush furiously again. Usagi cannot bear it anymore. She stomps down the stairs.

“You’re a perv!” Usagi yells behind her.

Seiya is baffled at her accusation.

"What did I do now?"

“You just are!”

*

At Usagi’s suggestion, the two decide to have dinner and watch TV in the living room. 

After the earlier incident, she determined that it is a safer place and activity for them, partly because they are supposed to be focused on the TV. She can now secretly work on her upsetting preoccupation with Seiya's bare chest, his toned abs, and now his height, especially after realizing that he is much taller than Shingo. 

It was easier to pretend that it is no big deal to hang out with another boy, when she grew up with her baby brother. The problem is, even though Seiya is a lot younger than Mamoru, he is, beyond a doubt, a young, single boy - a man, even. Usagi has never quite seen Seiya in that light before. Now though, she is having a hard time confronting the realization that she does, in fact, find him attractive.

It's just a physical attraction!

It doesn't mean anything!!

Usagi takes a furtive glance at him. Seiya is thoroughly fixated on the reality TV show, which is fascinating in its own right, considering how he is part of the media world. She thought he would know too much of the behind-the-scene happenings to be this captivated.

He’s an idol, she reminds herself. Of course he puts in the work to look pretty.

Seeing his eyes go wide and jaw drop at a ridiculously cliché scene though, Usagi could not help but smile at his unadulterated reactions.

He must not get many opportunities to sit down and watch things like this.

Now he is laughing with the TV cast. Usagi chuckles, more entertained by him than what's on screen. Seiya has such a sweet, child-like quality to him sometimes. She wonders if his fans are aware of this side of him, or if they are distracted by his allegedly good looks and wild stage presence. 

Why is this busy, national idol making time to watch a silly show with me, out of everyone?

He catches her off guard when their eyes meet. 

Seiya smiles, causing her cheeks to flush. “You don't like this?” he asks, nodding at the TV.

Usagi panics. "No, I do!” Feeling caught out for staring at him, she briskly turns her head back towards the screen.

Seiya watches her fidget and wonders if she had wanted to talk more. He's very much enjoying this right now, but he has to admit that he is a little down that their earlier heart-to-heart had ended before it could begin.

Would she want to spend time with me like this, if she knew—?

Sitting side by side in the dark, Seiya cannot help but notice how close she is to him on the sofa. He tilts his head to listen for the storm outside. It has calmed down a lot, though the heavy rain is still audible. Maybe she had scooted closer earlier, when she was more scared. Seiya slowly reaches over the backrest, wondering if it would be okay for him to place his arm over her shoulders. Usagi seems quietly engrossed with the TV now. He braces for her to yell at him for being too familiar, but is surprised to get no reaction. 

He falters. "Um, is this okay?"

Seiya freezes when Usagi drops her head onto his shoulder. Oh, God. 

He is not ready for this.

"So, um," he begins to confess. "I'm not sure how to say this, but I still want you to know the truth."

He waits for some response, anything.

"... Odango?"

He peers down to find that Usagi's eyes are closed. Her breathing is even, her posture relaxed. She has fallen asleep on his chest. Chibi Chibi is snoozing off on her lap, too.

Seiya chuckles, a little sad, a little relieved. He pats Chibi Chibi on the head and pulls a blanket up for both of them.

Truth be told, he is quite enjoying bodyguard duty. His days are normally swamped with Three Lights-related activities. This peace and quiet is welcoming. Seiya squeezes Usagi's shoulders closer, so her head would lie more comfortably on his chest. Usagi stirs a little, but doesn't wake. She is far off in dreamland now.

"I wish I met you sooner," Seiya whispers into her soft bangs.  

But he wouldn't have, if not for his planet's destruction. 

"Maybe it's my wishful thinking," he suggests, nudging Usagi's forehead gently with his nose, before turning back to the TV.

If you were a senshi too, maybe you’d have a better chance of understanding who I really am.

Chapter Text

"Did that work?" Artemis asks from behind the inter-temporal communication device.

"No," Luna answers with frustration, watching the quiet monitors, which normally provide visuals to the portal in 30th century Crystal Tokyo.

"Let's try the B setting again," comes Ami's voice from where Artemis is reading the device's troubleshooting guide. She fidgets with the various connecting cables. "Reroute more power from Crown to increase the amplitude too."

Luna does as she suggests, turning the relevant knobs to adjust the settings. "Setsuna-san," she asks. "Do you think we should account for distortions caused by the recent meteor shower in these settings?"

No response. The black feline turns around to find the astrophysics university student squeezing her nose ridge in distress.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm alright," Setsuna responds automatically, searching inside her book bag. "And yes, I have the relevant data here."

"Maybe you should go home to rest? I'm sure we can manage."

Setsuna shakes her head. She doesn't enjoy sleeping much lately.

"You've been at it since yesterday," Ami adds with empathy, poking her head out from the back of the machinery. "You must haven't slept a wink worrying about this."

She is right, but Setsuna hasn't been sleeping well regardless. She doesn't want to talk about it though. "I'm fine," she insists, straightening her spine.

"It's too bad Mamoru-san isn't here," Ami sighs. "He's pretty good at this stuff too."

Hearing his name pulls at Setsuna's heartstrings. It makes her feel indignant, even rueful.

Yes, he should've been here.

Her somber silence draws them in with concern. Artemis hops onto her side.

"At least get a little shut eye," he suggests with a light purr. It is soothing, and dangerously so. Setsuna's heavy eyelids betray her. She can barely keep them open.

"We'll let you know if something happens."

Luna and Ami agree. "You can rely on us."

Those words, the promise of mutual support, finally convince Setsuna to accept their kindness. 

"Just ten minutes," she says, trusting she can easily be roused, but the rush of drowsiness overcomes her as soon as she shuts her eyes. Setsuna is sound asleep in seconds.

*

She awakens to a voice calling her name.

"Artemis?" Setsuna gasps, fearful that she had missed an important development.

No answer.

The white feline is nowhere to be found.

In fact, she could not see Luna or Ami either. Even their headquarters has disappeared. For as far as Setsuna could see, there is only nothingness. She cannot even tell where her vantage point is.

Concerned by the sudden loss of all capacity to sense her surroundings, Setsuna gets up cautiously on alert. Something does not feel right. Standing in a defensive stance, she pulls out her Pluto lip rod.

"Who's there!" 

She could not even hear her own voice ringing in this endlessly dark space.

Where am I?

Her eyes should have already adjusted to the dark, but there is still nothing.

Slowly, Setsuna steadies her breathing. She even closes her eyes, listening with all of her senses. It is moments like these when she wishes that she would have better access to her second sight - the one that would allow her to see across space and time. It takes so much more concentration to find it now.

Sure enough, she feels it first, rather than hears it. Her name, spoken like a question.

Yes, it is me.

Suddenly, Setsuna recognizes that she knows that voice. The cadence in how he says her name.

Mamoru-san.

His presence becomes clearer as soon as she realizes that it is him.

"It is you," she hears him say, and Setsuna opens her eyes to see him now, standing before her, as if he had never left. But he must have, because she could feel his relief. Relief that she finally recognized him. If she were not so shocked to see Mamoru in person, she would have noticed that he is unusually bright for standing there, right before her, in the dark.

Her heart is palpitating so loudly, she wonders if he would hear it.

"I can ... feel it," he says quietly.

Oh.

Setsuna remembers then that Mamoru has always had latent psychic powers. Telepathy was certainly a walk in the park for King Endymion.

"Your ... presence, that is," Mamoru adds. He is aware of her self-consciousness. It is almost sweet, but Setsuna is simply abashed that all her thoughts are transparent to him. Mamoru clears his throat and averts his eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't know why but ... I can't seem to turn it off."

When he finally meets her gaze again, Setsuna has to steel herself, lest she finds herself staring at his lips. The ones that I had kissed that day.

It is too late. Setsuna can see his unease. "Strange ... isn't it?" he murmurs. "As Chiba Mamoru, I don't normally ... sense all of this so ... clearly."

His reluctance in admitting his powers is endearing. Setsuna softens her stance.

"I told you," she takes a deep breath to steady herself. "You underestimate yourself."

Mamoru absorbs her words in silence, and Setsuna has to remind herself that he cannot possibly be really here.

He left for the US, didn't he?

She remembers that she had fallen asleep earlier.

I must be dreaming.

It is the only logical conclusion.

"Why am I seeing you though?"

She is mad at her own subconscious for torturing her with what cannot be.

Dream Mamoru shakes his head.

"I don't know, but I've been calling out for ... I don't know how long anymore. It seems you're the only one who can hear me."

There's something familiar about this exchange, a feeling of déjà vu.

As if to confirm her suspicions, Mamoru asks, out loud.

"We've been here before, haven't we?"

His eyes are trained across the room.

Across the room?

Setsuna looks around to find them in their university lab now, with him hovering over her at her desk, pencil in hand.

"Is this the equation you're working on?"

Equation?

She looks down to find meticulous notes in her handwriting. Setsuna swears that she's never made them before. He is pointing at an unfamiliar equation, one that she surely has not created out of thin air. After all, Setsuna is only at the beginning stage of figuring out her thesis research project. Why would she have results like this before her?

"What if you tried this," Mamoru is now suggesting, scribbling notes on the margins of her lab workbook, like they've been long discussing this topic. "It should account for the space-time distortion around Earth right now."

Distortions ... right, that's what they were talking about before. Who else was talking about this though? Something doesn't click. What feels like a growing migraine suddenly hits her right in the temples, shocking her into silence.

"Setsuna?"

Blinded by the pain, she looks up at him feebly, only to be shocked that the pain went away immediately upon her laying her eyes on him again. It takes her breath away to see him like this, gazing at her warmly with a smile that would make anyone's cheeks flush.

Setsuna, he had called her.

When did I get this comfortable with him calling me without honorifics?

"Setsuna," he whispers now, close to her ear. "Come here."

Suddenly, she is falling backwards in his arms. She thinks to scream, but her breath is knocked out of her chest as soon as they land.

Reaching out around her, Setsuna finds what feels like miles and miles of soft, silky fabric. She sits up,  just barely, to see that they are now on a large, king-sized bed.

"Mamoru-san, what is—" but her words are cut off as soon as she speaks. For now his lips are pressed firmly against hers, with a familiarity that shocks her to her core. Setsuna closes her eyes. Her mind short circuits as it searches and finds an unexpectedly comfortable intimacy in how his hands roam down to her waist, and in how he reaches under the fabric of her camisole to undo her bra clasp. Her hands, too, wrap around his neck, like she's done this a hundred times before.

Like she's kissed him back before.

There is simply not enough oxygen in this world to bring her out of her daze, even when he finally lets her lips go. Setsuna is entranced by the gorgeous man on top of her, with his arm still gently but firmly wrapped around her waist, and his other hand on her chin, pulling her close to whisper against her lips.

"We've been married for decades, my love, and you still call me that. It feels a little ticklish."

Setsuna sits up abruptly, smacking her forehead into his.

"Ow!"

"We're m ... married?"

For decades?!

Mamoru chuckles. "Yes, Setsuna-san," he says sarcastically, mistaking her tone for joking. He teases her for her formality. "I don't mind role-playing though," he whispers with seduction. "If you want to act all cool, like when I proposed to you."

Setsuna inhales sharply at his suggestion, the implication. His lips graze hers ever so slightly as he slides her down to the bed, his hands slipping into hers over her head, pinning her down.

"I'd ask you all over again," he reminds her.

Oh.

Setsuna remembers then. This is not the first time that he has had to remind her.

Mamoru's eyes are fluttering shut. Setsuna knows she should speak up, now, but his tentative and gentle kiss stops her. It feels as if he is respectfully testing her boundaries. Then he plants another kiss, and another one, and another one, until Setsuna finds herself inhaling at the very instant his lips touch hers again.

The rest is a blur. When her consciousness resurfaces from his entrancing touches, Setsuna finds herself straining against his grip on her wrists. Her body is yearning for more. Kiss me. Harder. Please.

He moves like he can hear her. Like he knows her. Like he is and has been hers. Setsuna experiences a disorienting sense of strangeness and familiarity crisscrossing her mind, as his finger tips feather down her outstretched arm, down to her chest. Her mind goes blank when his hand slides down to her breast with ease. He's done this before. Many, many times. Her mind tells her that it cannot be possible, but her body tenses in anticipation. Then he pinches her nipple, hard, and Setsuna doesn't even notice the moan escaping her lips until it is too late. She bites down on her lower lip in horror, but her desire to be quiet spurs Mamoru on even more. He fondles her heavy, full breasts and kisses her, again.

"You're beautiful," he whispers. Setsuna makes an incomprehensible sound, unable to believe that she is writhing against his leg, now pressed up between hers. 

Oh—!

Suddenly, there is a knock at the door. Their door. Setsuna frantically places one hand on Mamoru's chest and the other on his mouth, preventing him from kissing her again. 

"Yes?" Her breath trembles when she speaks. Mamoru groans into her hand with dissatisfaction. The low rumble in his throat nearly undoes her. Setsuna feels the heat pool to her core.

This cannot keep going. I am going to lose my mind.

The door clicks open.

"Mama, papa, we need to get going for our spelling bee!"

The words that came out of the young boy who poked his head through the gap nearly has Setsuna fainting. She barely holds on when she sees him clearly, a 13 to 14 year-old child with beautiful eyes.

As soon as his sky blue meets her ruby red, the boy narrows his eyes and gags. "Ew, are you being all lovey dovey again?"

Setsuna realizes her state of undress and makes an uncharacteristically undignified little squeak. She quickly pulls the bed covers up to her chest. Not that there was much to see - it was just her straps, falling off her shoulders.

"Do we have to cover our eyes this time?" a younger voice asks. It is a little girl of about age 9 or 10. She enters the room, too, looking more curious than disgusted as she peeps through her fingers. Setsuna sees it then, her unmistakably ruby red eyes, looking back at her. 

"Mei," she breathes. "Soh." Their names come back to her.

Mamoru laughs, pulling the two children into bed with them, much to Soh's chagrin and Mei's joy. 

"Weeeeeee!" "You're ruining our uniforms, papa! I just ironed them!"

"Yes, my love. Our precious jewels." Mamoru kisses Setsuna on the temple, which now no longer feels painful at all. He gives both kids a slight ruffle of their hair and pushes them towards her, but Setsuna is too shocked to react. They're her children. She looks up at Mamoru.

They're our children.

"Go on," Mamoru is now saying, ushering the children out of the room. "Mom and dad need to get dressed first."

"Yeah, get dressed," their son says with a roll of his eyes.

"Soh!"

Before the pillow that his dad threw can hit him, the boy runs off with a cheeky laugh. Mei follows her brother out, too, a giggle stifled behind her palms.

Setsuna still cannot believe it. Not even when Mamoru shakes his head at her, like this happens all the time. Like it is normal for him to now lean into her again. "Find me," he whispers, kissing her neckline.

Find me?

"But you're right here," she says, drowning in his caresses. What did we say about déjà vu? She has been here before. She should not be this happy. She does not deserve this.

Find me.

His voice is getting farther away.

Where are you?

Setsu ... na ...

Wait!

"—Setsuna-san!"

Setsuna wakes up to Artemis leaning over her. A look of deep concern is written all over the white feline's face. 

Setsuna struggles to get up. There is a heavy feeling on her chest. She can feel a slick, cold sweat all over, too, and shame washes over her. Now that she is awake, Setsuna remembers that she has had dreams of Mamoru, and not just tonight either, but every single night that she can remember in the last few weeks. He haunts her at every turn, and she is exhausted by her emotions swinging from confusion, elation, mortification, to grief.

Why is this happening to me?

"Are you okay?" Luna asks gently. It is rare to see such raw emotions on Setsuna's face. She looks drained.

“We just sent Ami-chan home," Luna explains. "It was getting close to dawn—we came back to find you ... screaming.”

Setsuna nods, too tired to think. "I just had a strange dream.” 

She is still lost in the images and sensations that are now swirling in her mind. Mamoru's touch. Mamoru's voice. Their children! She is so embarrassed by her delusions that she wishes the earth would swallow her up. 

When she can finally look up to face her companions, she finds that both cats are still looking at her, and then at each other, like there is something else of concern. 

“What is it.”

Luna is the first to speak, though with hesitance. 

"Your ... forehead was glowing too.” 

“It was a deep red light, with the Pluto insignia,” Artemis adds. 

Setsuna is stunned into silence. 

"Did you have a clairvoyant vision?” Artemis asks probingly. Luna nods in agreement. That was her thought too. With all the strange phenomena occurring lately, including the arrival of new sailor senshi, it would not be so surprising if Pluto were affected by the cosmological changes in their galaxy.

Setsuna tries to gather her thoughts. She remembers something Mamoru had said to her. "He said ... there's a new space-time distortion around Earth."

"What?"

Setsuna shakes her head. "Nothing." She is starting to confuse dream with reality. "It's nothing. Just dreams."

None of it makes sense to her. She has barely retained her ability to see across space-time since her rebirth in this timeline. How can she have a vision? But her dreams … They were strange. Mamoru-san, too, always looked so incorporeal, until he—she blushes furiously at the memory of their intimacy. No. How can she possibly be experiencing alternate universes, ones in which she ends up as a couple with him?!

It cannot be.

In all her millennia of existence, she has never seen such a possibility. Endymion always ended up with Serenity. Always! There is no version of the future in which she would marry the prince instead. What she saw also implies that Small Lady would not exist. Unthinkable.

Setsuna thought she was ready to reexamine her beliefs about destiny, but she had not thought of the possibility that her visceral dreams would be anything close to reality - memories of a future that has yet to come. They feel treacherous, outlandish. 

"It was just a nightmare," Setsuna finally says, firm in her tone. “I have not been sleeping well. It is the only reasonable explanation.”

Luna and Artemis look at each other again. 

Setsuna was not there to see it. The way she cried out in anguish. The way her eyes opened and glowed along with her planet insignia on her forehead, as if she were looking far ahead into an unseen horizon. 

That was no ordinary nightmare.

Chapter Text

Usagi feels like she had a sad dream again.

She isn't sure what it was about though.

Lately, when she stirs awake, she often feels this vague sense of loss, as though something important had happened but is quickly fading.

Like sand slipping through her fingers.

In these sleepy moments, Usagi refuses to open her eyes too soon. Something about her world is shifting, she feels—but I don’t want to investigate. Not when a warm, heavy blanket is weighing down on her, like a comforting cocoon. It feels so nice, she can drift off to sleep again.

And maybe she will.

It is the weekend after all, isn't it? 

Usagi wonders if her family had come home a day early and put her to bed, because—didn't I fall asleep on the sofa? She doesn't remember covering herself in this fluffy, lush fabric.

And, right, wasn't Seiya here with her watching TV? 

The thought of him wakes her up. 

Did he go home already?

What time is it even? 

Attempting to wriggle out of the blanket, she realizes that it really is tightly wrapped around her, and something—no, someone—is holding her down. She can feel it now, the soft, steady rhythm of their breathing against the shell of her ear. Usagi's heart leaps out of her chest. There is nothing quite as disturbing as waking up to the realization that you are not alone.

Wide awake now, she waits for her eyes to adjust in the dark. Whoever it is, they are unbudgeable. Usagi hears the wind outside grow louder with her disquiet. A sliver of moonlight gradually illuminates what she now recognizes as the living room. 

I must still be on the sofa. 

Usagi sees it then. The silver crescent earring shining on his ear lobe. 

Seiya. 

His neckline is only a breath away from the tip of her nose.

Instinctively, Usagi wants to push him off of her, and she almost tries—in the most indignant, dramatic fashion, no less!—but she stops in her tracks when the moon reveals its face fully into the now clear, night sky. 

She can see now. 

Seiya is fast asleep. 

Behind him, the TV is still on, though it is mostly out of her view, and playing at a significantly softer volume than when they were watching it together. (At this late hour, there is nothing really on anyway, except for a show playing sleep-inducing, soothing music.) 

He is also outside the blanket. 

Seiya must have wrapped it around her, and just her. Usagi feels a slight sense of relief. She also feels a little bad for him. He must be cold. There is a tiny frown on his forehead, like he's registering some discomfort in his sleep. To see him like this, when she was sleeping soundly until a moment ago, not even wanting to get up from a bad dream, Usagi could not help but find him endearing, even if she would never admit it out loud.

Shuffling under him, she tries her best to adjust the blankets, even though she could barely release her arms from between them. She makes sure that at least his shoulders would be covered. 

"Do bodyguards fall asleep these days?" She whispers with jest, flicking his pretty forehead with her fingers. Seiya does not react. He sleeps like a baby, apparently.

It makes her smile. It is rare for him to drop all his defenses in front of her. Usagi wonders, for a brief fraction of a moment, if she should pull a prank, but fends off the childish urges. She finds herself contemplating his long, shiny lashes instead. The envy of all girls.

"How does anyone look this good in their sleep?" Usagi pouts.

Somehow, Seiya feels like a different person at this time of day. Under the full moon, his smooth jawline and sharp brows are unusually breathtaking, a beautiful balance of the masculine and the feminine. 

He's handsome, Usagi realizes. 

To be fair, she is far from immune to good looks. Usagi knows that about herself. In her lifetime, she has had quite a handful of handsome crushes and pursuants. Usually though, it does not take her too long to figure out how she really feels about them. Looks can only go so far.

Seiya, though, has managed to worm his way into her consciousness by confusing her. One moment he is making her the butt of the joke, next moment he is treating her with heated reverence, and now, after thinking of him as an overrated superstar for a long while, she is suddenly noticing that he is, contrary to her initial impressions, actually quite charming and genuine. It takes her off guard. Usagi wishes she could stay mad at him, or take him seriously and reject him properly. 

"It's not fair, you know," she says softly, thinking of the song he had sung to her earlier that evening as she gazes at his peaceful expression.

When you're unsure
When you're sad
I will be there

Like a meteor shower drawn to Earth, Seiya is beautifully devastating in his intensity. She feels pulled into his orbit. 

Suddenly, he squeezes her close, pressing her forehead against his chin. Her hands get trapped between his chest and her lips.

"Ah—"

"Don't cry ..."

Usagi's heart stops. Her thoughts instantly return to when she was alone in the laundry room. Had he heard me then?

"I'm not ... crying," she answers with hesitance.

Seiya does not respond. His breathing is even and calm.

Was he sleep talking? 

He sounded so ... worried. Usagi wonders what he is dreaming about.

Lying so close to his pulse point now, she can smell her fragrance on him. He must have used her shower gel earlier. The thought makes her blush. Usagi squeezes her eyes shut, trying to calm her fluttering heart. It is beating out of control against her will. 

What is happening to me?

"I have Mamo-chan," Usagi says under her breath, like a mantra that reminds her of her love, even though saying so is starting to mean less and less everyday. Her lips tremble as her voice trails off, and her thoughts turn to her goodbyes with Mamoru at the airport.

"I'm going to miss you, Mamo-chan. I'm sorry … I said I wouldn't cry."

"You're strong, Usako, and you'll only get stronger. I … " 

That pause in his last words, it haunts her. 

"Thank you, for letting me go do this."  

Even if it means being far away from each other.

Even if it means he might discover that there is a life outside of being with her.

Now she really wants to cry. 

Usagi buries her face in Seiya's chest, determined not to burst into tears. She promised herself to be strong in front of others. She promised, but all she can hear is her own pulse, pounding urgently against her temples, drowning out everything except her need to let it out.

It takes a while for Usagi to get it together, to feel Seiya's breath against the top of her head again. The slow and steady rhythm of his inhale and exhale feels like a gentle breeze passing through her hair, reminding her that he is right there with her, even while asleep. It eases her mind. 

Usagi wonders what he wanted to tell her, earlier that evening. 

"I still feel like I don't know a thing about you," she whispers against the fabric of his shirt, even though she knows he can't hear her. "I don't even know where you came from." Usagi laughs bitterly. He just appeared one day, upending her life at every turn. Why does he move her so?

It really is not fair.

" ... don't have a … home." 

Seiya's words are in fragments, punctuated by sleepy sighs.

Is he awake?  

She can't see his face now to be sure. 

"What do you mean?" 

Usagi is too scared to squirm and find out. 

Seiya doesn't answer. 

"Are you … homesick?" she asks again. Maybe he and Taiki-san and Yaten-kun don't see Tokyo as their home yet. 

Seiya remains silent.

Usagi contemplates how it would feel, to not feel like you belong. She wonders if it is why an air of melancholy surrounds Seiya whenever he thinks she isn't looking. Is he confessing how he really feels in his sleep?

The thought that he finds it difficult to talk about home breaks her heart. She wishes he'd be comfortable telling her. 

We're friends, aren't we?

And friends don't keep things from each other.

Usagi thinks of his question for her earlier again, and how he noticed that something was amiss. She wishes Seiya wasn't so observant. She feels seen, and it's weakening her resolve. 

Quietly, she admits that she had lied to him.

"I ... do have a photo of Mamo-chan. I put it away though. I don't know … I can't … look at him right now." Not with that jacket on him. 

And now that she's started to talk, Usagi can't stop. 

"I'm scared," she admits. 

"I'm starting to forget his voice. I'm starting to … I feel unsure. What if Mamo-chan doesn't see me as his one and only anymore … where does that leave … me?" 

She's wondered for a while now. What would the future look like, if Mamoru ends up with someone else? Would Crystal Tokyo even exist? 

Will she be able to do it on her own … or would her destiny end here, in the 20th century?

Will I live like a normal girl then?

And what would happen to Chibiusa?

Usagi feels her thoughts spiral out of control. Her heart is suddenly beating rapidly again, and she feels an oncoming panic attack. No, not now. I can't—

"You have me." 

Usagi inhales sharply. 

That was Seiya's voice.

He stirs, shifting his posture over her until they're now lying side by side and his forehead is pressed against hers. Usagi still couldn't believe that he had spoken, until his eyes bat open, slowly. 

"You have me," Seiya says again, gazing into her tearful orbs with half-opened eyes, his breath now softly mingling with hers. Usagi is frozen between him and the sofa's backrest, unable to comprehend the words on his lips, or the position she's found herself in. When he leans forward and grazes his nose against her cheek, Usagi finally finds her voice. 

"Ah." She presses her hands against his chest. Her lower lip quivers at her every word. "Seiya, you can't—"

Usagi loses her breath. The gentle, delicate kiss he's planted on her nose ridge leaves a lasting impression, long after he's shifted again to hold her close, resting her chin on his shoulder and squeezing her tight, like he wouldn't let her go. So many thoughts are swirling in her mind when she hears him whisper into her hairline again.

"You have many friends, too."  She can feel him falling back into slumber. His grip loosens a little, relaxing. Usagi blushes at her imaginations for running wild. 

Right. A friend.

He meant as a friend—!

But she feels its mark even now, the soft, barely there touch of his lips between her eyes, when she had closed them out of reflex. It felt intimate. It felt sacred. Usagi squeezes her eyes shut again, scared to admit—even to herself—that she is comforted by his sweet gesture, and his heavy arm wrapped around her shoulders. 

Seiya is still speaking to her, even as he is drifting off. "You ... good as you are, Odango …"

She isn't sure why, but she believes him. She believes him, even though she could barely believe in herself.

A lo-fi song is playing in the background. Vaguely, Usagi notes that it is coming from the TV behind Seiya. The mellow tune rolls over them, like a growing tide at night, lulling Usagi back to sleep.

pandemonium calms me down like an ocean
oh, an ocean
and I'm kissing pillow lips
drunk off saccharine potions
and nothing really matters

'cause everybody here is dying
dying out in slow motion
and everybody here is lying, lying
silently detonating emotions

The ominous lyrics somehow blends with the soothing mood of the night and Usagi relaxes into Seiya's arms, letting him squeeze her close, letting him fall asleep again. Right now, in this moment, being here together feels right.

The moon shines softly, watching upon them. Drifting in and out of sleep, Usagi sees Seiya's earring again out of the corner of her eye. The silver moon, reflecting the real moon's healing glow. She feels recharged, as though the tiny token is telling her that everything will be fine.

Everything will turn out ok.

With that deeply calming thought, she falls asleep once more.

*

Usagi wakes up to the soft clanging of metal against glass. She smells the pancakes long before she even opens her eyes to see Seiya at the kitchen counter. His back is turned to her, but she can tell that he is making breakfast. The coffee pot is bubbling next to him, too, filling the room with a warm and welcoming aroma. Chibi Chibi is already up, sitting at the dining table and humming to herself happily. Usagi wonders where the little girl was last night.

Sitting up on the couch, she looks at her reflection in the window and self-consciously fixes her bed head. Taking furtive glances at the reflections of the boy who had held her all night long, Usagi wonders if she had dreamt it all. In broad daylight now, the night before certainly doesn't ... feel real.

Seiya turns around from the stove top to arrange freshly made pancakes on the last plate - Usagi's. He sees that she is up now and thinks to call out to her, but he finds it hard to speak suddenly. Seeing Usagi undo her messy hair buns and comb out the wavy curls, Seiya could not help but stare. Her long blonde hair cascades down her back, all the way to the floor, framing her tiny figure in a way that makes her look positively regal in the morning light. 

A blush rises to his cheeks when their eyes meet in the window reflection. Usagi narrows her eyes at him, and Seiya immediately knows what she would say. Usagi turns around with a snap.

"You were staring."

"Uh." He would have laughed off her constant suspicions of his intentions, but she'd seen right through him this time, and it discombobulates him. 

"Perv," Usagi sneers, unrelentingly.

"Who's—who's the perv here?"

Stumbling over his words, Seiya latches on to the first thing he can think of. "You know, I woke up to you sleeping on my chest."

He knows Usagi would see red. Sure enough, she quickly points her finger back at him. 

"YOU pulled me into your chest!" 

At that accusation, Seiya raises an eyebrow. He doesn't remember doing that.

He wishes he did now.

"But you ... stayed there?" He dares to ask.

Usagi's jaw drops, like she does not know what to say. She is also blushing very hard. It warms his heart to think that, maybe, just maybe—

Swiftly picking up all three plates, Seiya moves to the dining table like an expert server. Chibi Chibi picks up her fork and knife and looks up at him expectantly. He serves her a plate.

"It seems that you like me more than you let on," he snickers without a look towards Usagi. Teasing her is something he can do, even in his sleep. 

Usagi shoots up to her feet.

"I do not!" she exclaims, stomping off to the wash room next door. Her tone is vehement, and it hurts, just a little, but Seiya is okay with it. He expects this level of rejection.

He can also breathe easier now that she's left the room. Seiya honestly had a hard time looking her straight in the eye. She looked so out of this world.

Get it together, Seiya.

To calm himself down, he arranges and rearranges the rest of the plates on each place mat, along with juice and coffee, until he is satisfied. 

A few minutes later, Usagi emerges again, looking a little less beet red, a little more bashful.

"I do not," she emphasizes once more, calmly.

"Hmm, is that so?" Seiya chuckles, gesturing to her to eat with them. He is also feeling more relaxed now. Chibi is already half done with her plate.

"It is so," Usagi returns, even as she chooses to sit next to Seiya, instead of the farthest seat away from him. He smiles knowingly.

Seiya also notices that Usagi's hair is now up in loosely tied braids.

She looks nice like this, too.

Watching her slice her pancakes with that pout still pressed firmly on her lips, he could not help but find her consternation cute. He playfully whistles at her and takes a bite off of her fork. 

"Hey!"

Mmm, delicious. I'm a genius.

"You're surprisingly a pervert then, Odango," he winks at her. "Sleeping with a guy that you don't like."

"Wha—you're the pervert here!!"

"Mmmmmm, I beg to defer."

"Look here, Seiya, you—!"

"Seiyaaah," Chibi Chibi imitates, giggling as Usagi blushes now at the spot-on impression. Seiya laughs and ruffles the child's hair. 

"Good job, Chibi-suke, you sound just like her!"

"Chibi-chaaaan, how can you betray me?!"

And then they're all laughing now, and Chibi Chibi likes it. She likes having breakfast with Usagi and Seiya.

Chapter Text

Hino Rei’s mornings as a shrine priestess usually begin with a meditative session at the sacred flame of Hikawa shrine. Housed in a dark room away from regular shrine visitors, the dancing flames had once served to ground her days. Lately, however, Rei is instead repeatedly seeing visions that haunt her - visions of a strong evil presence plagues her subconscious, alerting her to the many enemies in their vicinity.

She sees the destruction and disappearance of whole celestial bodies, worlds going out of balance. She senses mixed signals of various beings, many of those who are not of this world—of this dimension even, dwelling among them. Rei is not sure if they are malevolent, benign, or friendly. Their intentions are not easy to tease apart. Their origins are multitudinous and chaotic.

Like a perfect storm forming.

To calm her growing disquietude, Rei spends an inordinate amount of time in the sacred flame hall now, morning or not. Chanting Buddhist incantations with intense focus, she barely feels the cold sweat dripping down her bangs. Her body shivers from drawing in the celestial forces to release her questions into the supernatural realm. She asks about Chibi Chibi again. “Is she related to Chibiusa?” Rei asks. “Is she from the 30th century, too?” Instead of giving a direct answer, her visions show her three meteors flying out of an exploding star and crashing towards their Earth, an Earth that is devoid of life.

What is this?

“Our planet is falling … apart … “ she hears her own voice say, but does not fully register the words as the visions violently flash across her mind’s eye. She sees a man. "Mamoru-sa—Prince Endymion?" He turns to her. He looks sad. Confused, even. His image soon gives way to a figure that Rei does not recognize. A prideful woman with golden armor. Rei shudders instinctively at the stranger's immense hunger for power. She hears a familiar voice from afar, someone she cannot see. “Golden Crystal,” the strong but gentle voice says, trembling in mourning. “It’s … gone … gone … gone—”

“AHH–HAHAHAHAHA! WHAT IS THIS?!”

Rei’s attention is instantly broken. Her heart beats loudly in her ears as her soul descends back into her corporeal form, snapping into focus. Her hand is already firmly placed upon her Mars lip rod, when she realizes that the obnoxious laughter that she had just heard was not from some nefarious being, but just a girl giggling loudly nearby. She hears the same boisterous voice again, ringing across the Hikawa shrine grounds.

“This is so funny, Ami-chan, you have to see this!”

Rei groans in frustration. Her visions are lost now, and she cannot for the life of her remember what she just saw. Standing up angrily from her tatami mat seat, she rams the sliding door open and stomps out of the sacred flame hall to the nearby guest house. 

“Usagi!”

The blonde girl in question jumps in surprise. Fearfully peering up from behind her manga comics, Usagi cowers as the shrine priestess gives her an earful, again.

"How many times do I have to remind you that this is not your personal playground?!" Rei scolds. "People come here to our shrine to pray and heal - and you just made me lose focus!”

“I’m sorry,” Usagi mewls, wiping her tears of laughter. "It was just so funny, see?"

Rei slaps the comic away from her hand. "You should study more like Ami-chan," she admonishes, tilting her head at the short-haired girl with glasses, who is busy solving equations on her notebook at the table. Ami has been at it for a while, since at least before Rei had gone away to consult the sacred fire.

If only Usagi were half as studious!

Rei looks around at the otherwise empty room. “And why are Minako-chan and Mako-chan still not here?" They had said they'd be late, but that was over two hours ago. Now that Rei is not cocooned in the safety of her prayer space, she is feeling a little listless. It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon, the kind that always makes her wish that she were a normal high school girl, enjoying her weekend. Instead, Rei's strong sense of duty ties her to her shrine grounds. 

"I'm sure they'll be here soon," Ami answers, her tone a little apologetic, like she knows more than she lets on.

"What is it?" Rei asks, turning to her. Sometimes, she feels a little left out of their daily lives, because she is the only one among them who does not attend Juban High School. 

“Well,” Ami begins hesitantly, but Rei finds her ears honing in on Usagi's laughter once more. She turns around to find her loudly enjoying her comics again, lying on the tatami mat floor without a seeming care in the world. That the girl is eating her third ice popsicle, with plastic wrappers littered around her, is greatly adding to Rei's annoyance. She picks up a wrapper and throws it at Usagi’s head. It hits one of her hair buns. 

“Usagi, stop being such a pig!!”

“You’re so mean, Rei-chan,” Usagi murmurs, removing the sticky wrapper from her hair. She pokes her head out from behind the comics momentarily to stick her tongue out. “Don't take it out on me, just because you didn't get to see your Yaten-samaaa today."

Rei blushes then, remembering that Minako had mentioned some days ago of a TV event with Yaten. It must've been today. "I am not—I'm busy trying to find answers!" She points at the sacred flame hall, but Usagi just rolls away from her. 

"Well, I'm busy, too," Usagi chuckles, flipping to the next page of her manga. "I have five more volumes to catch up on."

"Those are my comics, you know," Rei groans. It feels pointless, sometimes, trying to lecture Usagi. She turns instead to Ami, who is mumbling to herself over her notes. "Ami-chan, say something too. What if she fails at math again?"

Usagi groans at that. “You’re so nosy!” 

"Well, someone has to around here!"

Ami chuckles softly at their banter. She takes her glasses off for a break.

"I'm actually not doing school work today."

Rei looks at Ami’s notes more closely then. It all just looks like math and more math. "Um, what is it then?" she asks sheepishly.

"Astrophysics equations we've been using lately," Ami explains, pointing to a few particular ones. "They're a little advanced for me," she admits, showing Rei the books that she is referencing. "Thankfully, Setsuna-san lent me a few readings from her lab to understand them better."

Rei nods, even though she does not understand a single word in the book titles. They all look like university-level textbooks. She flips one open and sees a red stamp on the title page, with words that she can finally recognize. Chiba Mamoru, it reads.

"This must be Mamoru-san's old book."

"Oh, yes." Ami shows her the other tomes. "Most of them are."

Rei glances at Usagi, wondering if she has any inkling of what Rei and the other girls have noticed about Setsuna and Mamoru.

"How are things at headquarters?" Rei asks Ami, though her eyes remain on Usagi, who has not moved from her spot, even after hearing Mamoru's name. Strange. "Any progress?"

Usagi does a little crunch then, clearly listening in. It's been a week since they realized their connection with 30th century Crystal Tokyo is lost. The last time Luna had reported back, the intercom was still not working. Everyone is worried. 

Ami shakes her head, confirming that there hasn't been much progress since. Usagi’s grip on her comics tightens a little, but she still doesn’t say anything. She rolls away again, burying her face in the pages.

Knowing Usagi's concerns for Chibiusa, Rei feels more empathetic towards her then. In her own way, Usagi is worried. She just deals with stress differently.

"Do you think it's … because of the new enemy?" Rei asks, sitting down next to Usagi.

Ami nods. "It's possible," her tone is somber. She's been reading a lot lately, hoping to find clues on star seeds, and why other sailor senshi would covet them. "Their presence can be affecting things, though I'm not sure how ... there are also the Starlights."

Rei remembers then the three meteors that she saw in her vision, and a lifeless Earth. The imagery disturbs her greatly.

At the mention of the mysterious trio, Usagi puts aside her comic and sits up as well. "Do you think they're really that … dangerous?" she asks. Rei observes Usagi's tentative tone. She is also staring at her feet now.

Usagi feels that the Starlights are misunderstood, and Rei can honestly agree. Despite everything going on around the three foreign senshi, their aura feels more desperate than malicious. It is hard to imagine them wanting to cause harm. 

"But we can't know for sure that they have our best interests in mind," Ami points out, repeating what Setsuna had warned them a while ago. "After all, they are not from our solar system."

Usagi purses her lips at that. "But they have saved us - many, many times! And they were happy to … until we treated them suspiciously." She recalls how Uranus and Neptune had told her off for fraternizing with Starlights, reminding her that it is their job to protect her from external enemies. "Why do we have to be so standoffish, just because they're not from here? Strangers can become friends, can't we? ... Haven't we?" 

She looks at her two friends in earnest.

"Usagi … " 

"Usagi-chan …"

Her plea moves Rei and Ami, but they do not answer. They remain diffident and cautious. After all, extraterrestrial issues remain the domain of the outer senshi.

Usagi turns away to blink off her tears. Staring into the deep blue sky, she thinks of Seiya confiding in her while half-asleep. It can be so hard to say how you really feel, to ask for companionship.

She knows that his situation is clearly not the same as the Starlights. Seiya is a civilian, after all, not a soldier fighting in an intergalactic war. But would it really have been better, if they had never tried to get to know each other? Usagi doesn't think so. She has been saved by Seiya's friendship, and she hopes that she has been able to do the same for him.

She wants to do the same for the Starlights.

And she wishes that her comrades could see what she sees, too, in the potential for reaching out. All they need to do is give Starlights a chance. Just one.

Rei nudges her out of her reverie. "What are you thinking about?"

"Eh?"

"You were smiling to yourself. Who were you thinking about?"

Usagi feels a blush creep towards her neckline. "I was just …! It's nothing."

How can she say that she was thinking about Seiya's sleepy confession, or the soft kiss he left atop her nose? For fear of being murdered by her friends, who are certified Three Lights stans, Usagi had opted to keep her night with Seiya (and Chibi Chibi! She was there too! We were not alone!!!) to herself. 

"Nothing," she emphasizes again, blushing even harder.

"Is that so?" Rei drawls, tilting her head with narrowed eyes in suspicion. She scans Usagi's sporty outfit from head to toe. "You're sure it's not because of some superstar idol that you're going to see today? One who has been taking an unusual amount of interest in you lately?"

Usagi is definitely feeling the heat now. "He's just an idiot jock!" she squeaks. "I didn't want to be dragged into practicing softball with him."

"Then why didn't you just say no?"

“I ..." Usagi stutters under Rei's critical gaze. "Seiya seemed so into it! I ... didn’t want to disappoint him."

"Uh huh."

Rei clearly does not believe her.

"Idiot jock is a little disrespectful, too, Usagi-chan," Ami sighs, putting her glasses back on to get back to her equations. "Seiya-kun is pretty good with school work, too, you know." 

Usagi groans at that. "You don't have to remind me." Even the normally romantically uninterested Ami becomes extra protective when it comes to the Three Lights! It is exhausting.

Rei knows that they have teased Usagi plenty by now, but she continues anyway. It is too entertaining to see her get flustered like this.

"And here I was worried about you being depressed without Mamoru-san."

Usagi whips around. "It's not like that! And ... I'm doing okay," she adds a little stiffly. "I'm sorry that ... I made you worry about me."

It does not escape Rei's attention that Usagi is now gripping the hem of her shirt a little too tightly - her habit when she is actually upset. Rei feels bad for bringing up what clearly is still a difficult topic for Usagi. She has gone too far.

"I'm sorry, Usagi, for teasing you," she apologizes, comforting Usagi with a pat on the back. "It's okay, we know it must be hard for you. You can talk to us, okay?"

Usagi nods wordlessly. Even if she were to tell Rei and Ami about the true extent of her concerns about Mamoru, she wouldn't know where to start. It feels futile to bring it up.

Sensing her reticence, Rei gets up to find her broom and sweep the grounds, giving Usagi some space while staying close by. Ami, too, is a little distracted. Watching Usagi's defeated posture, she doesn't feel like going through her notes again. Neither knows how to comfort her.

Usagi's next question seemingly comes out of nowhere.

"Do you think ... I'm childish?"

Ami looks up in surprise, and Rei pauses mid-sweeping to turn around. Usagi looks so uncharacteristically serious. 

Rei decides to answer first. "Yes, you are," she says, looking at Usagi straight in the eye.

Ami bites her lip. Rei can be so brutally honest. Still, she follows up with kindness, always. 

"Why do you ask?"

Usagi fidgets without immediately answering. She turns her gaze towards the horizon, where the Hikawa torii gate looks as though it is floating in mid-air; the stairs below are invisible from where they sit.

The gate looks mystical at this hour, like an entrance to another world.

" … No reason," she says eventually. 

So much left unsaid is contained in those two words.

Rei tries to trace Usagi's train of thought from Seiya-kun to Mamoru-san, to ... this. Setsuna-san comes to mind again, the epitome of an adult woman in their high school-aged eyes.

Rei wonders if Usagi knows after all. 

No one dares to ask.

"It's what's good about you, Usagi," Rei says instead.  

Usagi perks up a little at that.

"You're child-like to a fault, and open and vulnerable about it."

Usagi frowns at her then. "Is that even a compliment?"

Rei laughs dryly, sitting down with her again, squeezing the broomstick in her hands. "I'm just saying that your pureness is your greatest strength and weakness. You're good as you are, baka Usagi."

Oddly enough, even though Rei is technically still insulting her, Usagi feels ticklish. It's rare for Rei to compliment her at all. Ami is also nodding in agreement. Usagi remembers then how Seiya had said the exact same thing to her the other night.

It feels nice to have friends she can trust with her thoughts and feelings.

They enjoy each other’s presence in silence after that, each lost in their own thoughts. 

"Maybe we won't be hanging out with the other two today," Rei says with a sigh after a while. Being able to see her friends now and then, even while at work like this, is a rare treat that the shrine priestess cherishes deeply. Usagi and Ami nod quietly in agreement. 

"I should go," Usagi announces then, looking at the time. It will take her a while to get to the school grounds to get to softball practice. They say their goodbyes. Rei watches with concern as Usagi slowly walks down the stairs. 

"Does she look okay to you, Ami-chan?" she asks after Usagi is gone.

Ami ponders her question. “Usagi-chan is ... still unwilling to talk about Mamoru-san much, but she seems ... more cheerful lately, to be honest.”

Rei nods. She has noticed as well, but she hopes Usagi is happy now for the right reasons.

"She lacks self confidence, you know. Sometimes I worry that she is too dependent on Mamoru-san for her happiness."

Rei had felt that his departure would be an opportunity for Usagi to gain some independence. Now, she is concerned that it might have instead caused Usagi to seek comfort elsewhere.

"I am not very experienced in these things," Ami confesses in response. "So, I don’t know, really, but I remember when Usagi-chan first spoke to me. She was like … a warm sunshine that I didn't even know I needed." Ami smiles at the memory. Back then, she did not have a single friend at school. Usagi had changed that. Rei agrees. Usagi's empathy and friendliness are the reason why Rei knows any of them, too. Usagi is literally the glue that holds them all together.

“Do you think that’s what she is like for Seiya-kun, and the Three Lights, too?” Rei can imagine the three idols feeling socially isolated at Juban High School because of their fame. Usagi certainly does not seem to treat them any differently. Perhaps she is not wrong to be so casual with them, even if it is a source of frustration for the fans.

Ami shakes her head. "Yes, but, no, I just meant that, maybe, just maybe ... Seiya-kun is that person for her."

"What do you mean?" Rei does not understand. Usagi has us. How is it the same?

"I fear that, sometimes, she keeps things to herself," Ami speaks with some difficulty now. "When she doesn't want to … bring us down."

Rei's jaw drops. "You think she's pretending to be okay in front of us … because of us?"

Ami shakes her head quickly. "I don't know!" It is hard to imagine Usagi feeling distant from them, for sure. They have been through thick and thin together. But. "I just think … I think Seiya-kun is able to get through to her in a way that's just different. From us. Even from … Mamoru-san."

Rei sits in silence, contemplating the possible truth in Ami's words.

It is then that Minako arrives with Makoto in tow. The blonde waves excitedly as they reach the top of the stairs to the shrine. “Hiiii!”

Ami waves back, wiping away the tears forming in her eyes. A smile touches Rei's lips too at the bright smile on Minako's face.

“Seems like you had a good time," Rei teases. "You just missed Usagi though." She feels a little worn out now, a little relieved. 

Minako shrugs with a cheeky grin. Makoto seems to know what the gesture means - she rolls her eyes at the Venusian. “What is it?” Rei asks, confused.

"Oh, we just saw her catching the bus earlier,” Minako elaborates with a grin. “Her aura was—dare I say it?" She nudges Makoto in the arm.

"Not this again," Mako-chan sighs.

"Look, I can just read the mood, ok?" Minako waves her arms around expressively. "Usagi-chan definitely looked happy, and I mean about-to-go-on-a-date happy. It's good news, isn't it?"

“But she already has Mamoru-san!”

Watching Minako and Makoto bicker, Rei purses her lips with concern. Minako’s clairvoyance for romantic matters is not to be overlooked. At the same time, to imagine Usagi with anyone else is … difficult, to say the least. 

"Minako-chan,” Rei interjects. The two bickering girls stop then to listen. Despite not being the group leader, necessarily, Rei can commandeer them easily with her natural stoicism, and her tone is serious right now. “You’ve always said that Usagi and Mamoru-san are compatible because they complement each other. Is it possible that … their differences are also causing them serious … strain?”

“Well—differences can be a source of excitement and strain, for sure,” she answers, humming thoughtfully now at Rei's poignant question. They all know how cerebral Mamoru is. He is also reticent, and seems often distracted by his own thoughts. Usagi, on the other end, is incredibly social and people-focused. “Their differences can bring out the best and worst in them. It's not a one-fits-all formula.”

Ever the romantic, Makoto chimes in. "And I'm sure they'll overcome this hurdle, like they have many more times before." Ami agrees with hopefulness. "Besides, Mamoru-san will be king of Crystal Tokyo someday. It could only be a good thing that he goes to study and become an expert in the celestial sciences, no?"

And that is where Rei disagrees.

"Sure, but what about Usagi's feelings? What if he decides not to come back for another few years? Or maybe more? What then?"

"Then she can fall in love with Seiya-kun, no?"

"Minako-chan!" 

"What! All is fair in love and whatever!"

"It’s ‘love and war’," Ami interjects with a sigh. 

"Exactly what I said!” Minako exclaims. “And what's wrong with Usagi-chan falling in love with someone else? She's a healthy, attractive 16-year-old woman! Mamoru-san chose his career over being here with her, and there is only so much they can do for each other over letters. Why can't she explore her feelings for other people? If they really were meant for each other, they'll come back together, won't they? They're destined lovers." 

Makoto and Rei stand dumbfounded. For once, Minako is making too much sense. Ami, though, is deep in thought.

"That … well, that's not necessarily true."

"How so?" Makoto asks, feeling a little uneasy about the whole topic now.

"I fell into this logical fallacy too, earlier, so this might sound like I am nitpicking, but it's one thing to say we believe Usagi-san and Mamoru-san will work it out together … but 'destiny' is … complicated. We only know that they will stay together, because we've seen the future. Things can still change, significantly."

"As in the future isn't set in stone?" Rei asks, thinking about her earlier visions now. She certainly hopes the lifeless Earth she saw would not come to be.

"Yes," Ami confirms. "As it is, we are in a spacetime paradox, because of Chibiusa-chan traveling back in time, and Setsuna-san being reborn here from the future. We know things we wouldn't have known otherwise. It has consequences for our present timeline."

"So are you agreeing with me that Usagi-chan can fall in love with Seiya-kun or not!?" Minako is trying very hard to follow their train of thought. Time travel and such always goes over her head.

Ami shakes her head. "All I am saying is that knowing Usagi-chan would marry Mamoru-san and have Chibiusa-chan prevents us from imagining alternative futures. Alternative—ah!"

"What?!” “You scared me, Ami-chan!" “What is it?” 

Ami does not answer immediately. Her mind is on hyperdrive as she remembers what Luna had said to her recently. That Setsuna-san had said something strange, after Ami had gone home from trying to fix the inter-temporal communication device on the first night.

“Setsuna-san dreamt of a new space-time distortion around Earth," she begins to recall. "What if that wasn't just a dream? Pluto has the power to see across space-time ... what if she is right? What if the enemy came here through one, looking for star seeds, and they're not from this dimension?” 

Rei remembers her vision then. “Like ... another plane of existence?”

“Or another timeline,” Ami answers, thinking out loud now more than communicating with them. “Yes, what if their presence and the large number of star seeds they brought with them has completely changed the trajectory of our Earth? Something significant enough to change the future, maybe even—” Ami-chan pales at the implication that crosses her mind then.

"I must go to Crown, now." She quickly starts gathering her things.

"What. Wait, Ami-chan, why?” “What did you figure out?"

"I don't know," Ami answers in frustration, clicking through her transponder to contact Setsuna-san and Luna. "It might be nothing. It might be everything." She pauses at the door as she puts her shoes on, turning to look at her friends, her fellow inner senshi. The looks of worry on their faces break her heart, but she's not ready to drop the cataclysmic scenario that she has just conjured in her mind on them without more evidence. Her logical side would not allow it.

"I'll let you know as soon as I have more answers," she says. "Until then … don't alarm Usagi-chan," she warns, fearing what her hypothesis could mean for their moon princess. "I hope I'm wrong, because this ... it would change everything."

Chapter Text

Usagi bursts into tears. "I can’t anymore!"

"Get up, Odango!" Seiya yells fiercely from across the sports field.

"I can't!" Usagi whines, collapsing to the ground. A small sandstorm puffs up around her. "I'm not good enough. Why can't we just accept that and move on? I'm tired!"

Seiya still gestures for her to hold up her glove. "You can do it." He speaks with such certainty.

Reluctantly, Usagi gets to her feet.

"Take a deep breath," Seiya reminds her, his tone now more encouraging than commandeering.

Usagi closes her eyes slowly. A refreshing wind runs through her hair as she breathes in the evening air. She feels calmer as she wipes the sweat on her forehead off with the towel on her neck, and finds focus when she opens her eyes, gaze steadying on the ball in Seiya's hand. 

"I got you," she sees rather than hears him whisper, and she nods to signal that she is ready. 

Seiya bats, and he bats hard. Usagi runs for it, eyes staying on the ball like he had taught her. When she sees its arc start to curve downwards, she dives with all her might. A puff of sand goes up into the air again, but this time Usagi feels it when she lands on the ground - the weight of the softball on her gloved palm. 

"Did you see that?!" She jumps into the air. Her smile widened with the ball raised high. "Did you see that!"

Seiya is already running towards her. "You did it!!" He triumphantly hoists her up into the air. Usagi giggles with pure bliss as Seiya twirls her around and laughs with equal joy. They spin so hard that they almost lose balance. Usagi lets out a scream of horror, and Seiya instinctively pulls her close, crashing backwards to the ground with Usagi on top of him.

Sand.

Sand everywhere.

When the blinding adrenaline rush has passed, and her heartbeat is no longer pounding in her ears, Usagi finally opens her eyes to the realization that she has had her arms wrapped tightly around Seiya's neck. Her heart rate spikes when she pulls back just enough to see that he's staring at her, with cheeks just as flushed as hers. Usagi flails her arms in embarrassment. "Put ... put me down already!"

Seiya does as he is told, quickly turning away to clasp a hand over his reddening face. I wanted to kiss her just now, he realizes. He would have, if Usagi had not panicked.

Usagi, too, is wondering why on Earth her first thought was how soft Seiya's lips looked. She wonders why her heart feels like it is going to burst, too. It must be because I caught the ball finally. It has to be!

All fluttering feelings are quickly quelled, however, when Seiya suddenly stands up to announce that they should continue with practice. "Now get to your feet. It doesn't count unless you get it right twice in a row."

"No way!" Usagi groans, but Seiya is well back in coach mode. In fact, he is somehow even more stern than when they started. The two of them practice over and over again, until Usagi is so exhausted that she has to lie down on the bench.

"He's a demon," Usagi mutters to herself, panting unsteadily. Why did I think even for a second that he is sweet and kind?

At the cold touch of an aluminum can on her cheek, Usagi yelps and opens her eyes. It's Seiya, handing her an energy drink from the school vending machine. "Feels good, doesn't it?" he chuckles, pressing the can against her forehead next.

Usagi grumbles. "You're too much," she complains, even as she appreciates the way that he is cooling her hot forehead now.

Seiya coaxes her to sit up, placing the can now in her hand. "Drink. You'll feel better, I promise."

Usagi does as she is told. Only when she has taken the first sip does she realize how parched she really was.

"I like this feeling," she hears Seiya say.

Usagi is incredulous. "You like being tired?"

Seiya laughs at her dramatic reaction. "Well, doesn't it feel nice to know you are getting better?"

Now, Usagi can agree with that. She's done better today than in their last practice together, especially since that first catch. It feels nice to know that she can do well if she tries.

"Thank you for practicing with me, Seiya," she fidgets, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed to show him gratitude. "I know you have a busy schedule."

To her surprise, Seiya waves it off. "You don't have to thank me," he says. "Sports clears my mind. There's no time to think of unnecessary things, you know." Usagi wonders what unnecessary things he normally worries about. It is rather unlike him to be so gracious without joking around.

Sipping on energy drinks together in silence, Usagi feels her body relax. Seiya is right. Her mind feels clear. The exhaustion is stopping her from worrying about things that she cannot control. 

"The school sure feels different at night, doesn't it?" Seiya stares across the school grounds. Usagi nods. There is a stillness in the air now with no one else around. "It's like we're in a different world," she says quietly, as if not to disturb the moment.

"Parallel universes," Seiya agrees.

Usagi gives him a questioning look, but he just smiles cryptically, looking up at the skies with a sigh. Usagi looks up, too. A bright light darts across the night sky. "Oh! Look, a shooting star!"

Seiya saw it, too.

"So pretty," Usagi beams.

" ... and tragic," Seiya says quietly.

Usagi doesn't understand.

"What do you mean?"

"Ah. Well ..." Seiya pauses to wonder how he should best explain it. "All living beings in this universe have the light of a star inside them."

"The light of a star?"

Seiya nods. "It's a saying from ... a far away place. There is a light in every person. You and I, we both each have one, and when you see a shooting star, well, ... it's their last attempt at shining bright." 

He finds his thoughts wandering back to the bright light that he saw the day that the Starlights had lost their princess. Was that what we saw that day? The thought that it could've been Princess Kakyuu's dying light that he saw moments before losing her is ... unbearable.

Usagi watches Seiya fall into silence and wonders if he had learned the sad yet beautiful lore from his homeland. She wonders why his face fell, like it reminded him of someone. "Tell me more," she says empathetically.

Seiya raises a quizzical eyebrow.

"About where you are from," Usagi continues, surprising him. He is sure that he didn't mention Kinmokusei, but it seems that she has figured out that he was speaking of home regardless.

"Well, uh," Seiya fumbles, too taken aback to know what he should tell her. He does not want to lie to Usagi, but he isn't ready to share the whole truth.

"It's a place where ... we work on our shine," he finally says, thinking back on his life as Star Fighter, a personal guard and consort to the Kinmoku princess. "The stronger you shine, the brighter you are," he explains, now turning to look at the young woman who is listening to him. Her intent expression warms his heart. "And yours is especially bright," he compliments.

Predictably, her cheeks flush up.

"Is this ... is this how you always pick up girls?" 

Seiya frowns. "I am being serious."

Usagi side-eyes him with suspicion. "So you're seriously flirting with me?"

Seiya groans. Why does she always twist my words?

"Listen, I will not let us lose, because—I like your shine. I mean it."

Usagi looks away with mixed emotions. She feels shy, yet dispirited. Seiya is just being nice, she tells herself. Their competition is the ace of softball, after all. There is no way for them to win.

Seiya urges her not to give up.

"Just so you know," he points out, leaning in with all sincerity. "I don't quit easily."

It makes Usagi smile. Somehow, his words remind her of her earlier conversation with Rei-chan and Ami-chan about accepting the Starlights. She will not give up on trying to convince her outer senshi comrades to understand the foreign scouts either. Deep in her heart, she knows that they will see things differently if only they would give Starlights a chance. They can all get along. She just knows it.

Glancing at Seiya now, who has turned his gaze back to the stars, Usagi wonders how he manages to cheer her up too on things that he knows nothing about. If we are talking about one's shine ... his is surely dazzlingly bright.

"See something you like?"

It is only when Usagi registers that it was Seiya who had spoken that she notices a tiny smile playing on his lips. He isn't even looking at her.

"No—no!?" she denies, looking away quickly, but it is too late. Seiya chuckles. "It's okay, you know. You can stare all you want. I like knowing that you like me too."

"I wasn't staring," Usagi re-emphasizes firmly, still not looking at him.

"So you admit to liking me?"

"... Seiya, you're too ... casual."

"I'm serious," she hears him say, feeling a slight tug on her pigtail - the one closer to him. Usagi turns around, just in time to see him kissing her hair. She blushes hard when their eyes meet.

"I told you," Seiya looks as serious as he sounds. "I don't give up easily."

Usagi is not used to being pursued like this, at all. Mamoru is so reserved in comparison, so hard to read. Seiya is playful, which is a different kind of baffling, but he is also so, so straightforward. It takes her breath away, and she is not sure if that is a good thing or bad thing. When Seiya leans into her face, she reflexively thinks that she should slap him, but halts when he presses his forehead to hers, just like he did nights ago at her house. In the dark of the night, it feels like they are half asleep again, holding each other close.

"Don't give up on me either, Odango," he says, his soft breath grazing her face. "I promise ... I won't make you feel lonely."

Usagi's heart is beating so erratically now, she could barely hear her own voice as she speaks. "You're being weird, Seiya," she forces a laugh. "I'm not ... lonely." Her lie sounds unconvincing even to her own ears. She looks away again, shuffling a little to create some distance between them on the bench.

It upsets Seiya to see Usagi try so hard to be strong on her own. He wonders if her friends see what he sees. Do they speak up for her? Is this guy that she is waiting for really so great? Seiya isn't sure he can understand. There is only so much time given to them in this world. If you loved someone, why would you leave them here like this?

He wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her close to him again.

"Seiya!?"

He likes hearing her call his name, even when she is scandalized. "Maybe I'm the one who is lonely, you know," he jests, placing her head on his shoulder.

She fights him, but she doesn't. Not really. It feels nice to talk about her loneliness, even obliquely. "Aren't you a ... a celebrity?" she points out, unable to understand his interest in her. "You have plenty of fans you could go out with."

Seiya frowns, pulling back to have her look him in the eye. "What do you take me for?"

"A playboy," Usagi retorts quickly with sass, sticking her tongue out.

How can she be so cute, yet so frustrating at the same time? Seiya ruffles her hair.

"Ahhh, my hair bun!!" Usagi exclaims, quickly reaching up to untie the chignon that he's messed up. "Look what you've done," she groans, combing her tangled hair out with her fingers.

"I like your hair down anyway," she hears Seiya say.

"Eh?"

"Nothing." He is now looking away.

"Seiya," Usagi peers into his face with curiosity. "Are you ... pouting?"

He pouts a little more.

" .... Seiya?"

Say my name again, he wants to say. And I'm never going to be able to fall out of love with you.

Instead he turns to her, genuinely miffed. "I don't know where you get this impression of me, but I'm not interested in just anyone. When will you finally accept that?"

Usagi is not used to him being upset at her. She is not used to taking him seriously either. How can she? It would require her to face the possible reality that Seiya might actually like her, like, really like her. "I'm sorry," she apologizes sincerely, suddenly feeling downcast.

Seiya wants to stay mad, but he can't. "Do you really get it, Odango?" He ruffles her hair again, this time undoing her other hair bun intentionally.

"I ..." Usagi finds it hard to look him in the eye, when he is running his hand through her hair and watching her every expression like he is seeing something precious for the first time. Seiya is so intense in personality, so intimate in his approach, that Usagi cannot help but find her gaze wandering to his lips again. She falters. I need to get a hold of myself.

Seiya sees the look of uncertainty in her eyes as her lips part. He suddenly fears what she might say. "It's okay," he shies away then, standing up from the bench.

Usagi isn't sure what she had wanted to say, but it was not her intention to push him away.

How can she say that though?

When she looks up again, she is surprised to find Seiya extending a hand to her. 

"I'll walk you home," he says. 

When Seiya holds on to her hand, even after helping her get up from the bench, Usagi doesn't say anything. She doesn't object, either, when he taps his thumb over the back of her hand to signal wordlessly that he wants to take the long way home. Following him out through the side gates of the school grounds into Arisuga-no-miya Park, Usagi wonders why she doesn't feel the urge to take her hand back. Street lamps flicker as they walk by. Faintly, she can hear the busy streets somewhere in the distance. The sound of cars fades away as they walk further into the park.

"It really does feel like a different world tonight," Seiya mutters under his breath. They cross a bridge over a running brook that they cannot see in the dark, and the sound of water is otherworldly. So is the reality that they are holding hands, still. Usagi wonders if Seiya had read her mind. Under the twinkling starlight, with his fingers laced between hers, and her long hair flowing freely behind her, everything feels unusual. Her hand in his hand feels ...

"It feels right," she whispers back.

Usagi wonders if he's heard her. Seiya's pace slows down.

"Have you ever ... thought of going somewhere else?"

"Eh?"

"Somewhere far away," Seiya clarifies, squeezing her hand a little tighter. "Like ... somewhere you can be anyone you want to be and start over."

They walk in silence as Usagi takes a moment to think about it. In the end, she shakes her head. "No, I haven't." Even when she did not want to be a senshi anymore, she had always assumed her life would be here with her friends and Mamoru. It occurs to her then, perhaps for the first time, that maybe Mamoru has thought about it before. Maybe he has thought of going far away, like he has now.

"Is that why?" she asks. Seiya feels her grip tighten on his hand. He turns to look at her.

"Is that why you left home?" Usagi wonders out loud. Did he want to escape, to start over? "How does it feel to ... leave everything behind?"

Seiya stops walking entirely then, all the emotions welling up within him. "It feels awful," he finally admits, realizing that he hasn't even said it out loud in front of Yaten or Taiki before. He couldn't. Not when he feels like he is most responsible for their predicament.

Under the street lights, Seiya glances at Usagi and is surprised to see glistening tears on her cheeks. He anxiously reaches to her face with his free hand, wiping the tears away with his thumb pad. Usagi gasps at the contact. She quickly withdraws her hand from him and steps into the dark, drying her eyes to no avail.

"Then why did you?" she asks, her voice trembling. Seiya understands now why she is crying. He steps into the dark as well, pulling her close before she can run away. "I had to," he dares to admit, even while knowing that she is thinking about her boyfriend again. "I didn't know what I would find on the other end, but I had to, and—" he pauses, tilting her chin up so that they could see each other's faces in the dim light. 

"I'm glad I'm here."

With you.

Usagi looks up then, reminded that this is not Mamo-chan. This is Seiya Kou, comforting her while speaking his truth yet again—and oh the emotions that are contained in those few words! Usagi cannot bring herself to acknowledge them all, but Seiya already understands that. Relaxing his grip around her waist, he slides his hand into hers again. "So don't give up on me," he reminds her as he starts to guide her towards the park exit into her neighborhood. There is that cheeky smile on his lips again.

Usagi feels Seiya squeeze her hand with reassurance. She squeezes back and wonders how he does it. Even as he reminds her of Mamoru, Seiya manages to compel her to see him. Would she have fallen for him in another universe?

"Parallel universes," Usagi mutters to herself. The thought soothes her, and in that brief moment of bliss, she wholeheartedly lets the world around them melt away, right into the warmth of Seiya's hand. 

Chapter Text

When Seiya pulled out his Sailor Change Star in full view of the enemy to defend Tsukino Usagi, Taiki was sure that Seiya had lost his mind. 

When Usagi and her friends, too, transformed into sailor guardians before their eyes, it was the best and worst case scenario all at once. No one can better understand the Sailor Starlights' need for discretion on this planet. No one is also better positioned to hurt them. These high schoolers are their fans, their schoolmates, their friends. 

As soon as they drive the enemy away, Taiki, now transformed into Maker, places a firm hand on Seiya/Fighter's shoulder. "Not now," she warns. Fighter resists, but soon falters at the sight of Sailor Moon looking shell shocked.

All this time, they really knew so little of each other. 

Ever the practical one, Maker takes the initiative to check on the integrity of their plane. They are, after all, trapped on a wobbly jumbo jet over Tokyo Bay, with unconscious passengers and a knocked out flight crew. There is much to do at hand.

"I'll come with you." Mercury comes forward too, turning on her analytical visor. Maker grimaces but doesn't argue. The rest of the inner senshi self-organize to check on the crew and the passengers. Amidst it all, Fighter notices Healer moving towards the stairs alone. He reaches out with concern, but the silver-haired senshi is quick to push his hand away.

"Don't," they say, and refuse to look at Fighter in the eye, but what did Fighter expect? For Healer to accept Seiya's decision to protect his civilian crush over their oath to each other? That Tsukino Usagi turned out to be the princess of this solar system only makes the betrayal worse.

In the end, Fighter is left standing alone.

"—Sailor Moon, get down here already!"

Hearing her name brings Fighter out of his daze. Looking up, he sees that the moon princess is staring at him from atop the stairs. How long has she been standing there? Her doe eyes eat away at his resolve to keep a distance.

Don't.

Not now.

Fighter averts his gaze.

"Sailor Moon." Mars reappears from the deck below. It was her voice calling earlier. When the blonde senshi does not respond, Mars shakes her arm.

"Oh, Rei-chan ...?"

Sailor Moon's absent-minded response elicits a look of pity from Mars. "Pull yourself together, please," the Martian senshi sighs as she drags Sailor Moon down the stairs. Mars throws a concerned look over her shoulder in Fighter's direction.

Fighter does not blame her for not wanting to leave Sailor Moon alone with him.

It is one thing for Seiya to be familiar with Usagi as her classmate.

It is a whole other ball game for Fighter to covet their royal highness.

*

Down in the cargo area, Mercury badly wants to break the ice. "Taiki-san." 

"Please don't call me that right now." Maker is not ready to acknowledge their amicable relationship as civilians. 

Mercury's face falls. "I'm sorry, I just ... wanted to thank you, and I hope you can forgive us for keeping our senshi identities from you. It was a matter of safety."

Yes, indeed, as we all saw today with Tsukino-san being targeted by the enemy.

"There's no need for that," Maker says instead, impassive in her reply. "We were never going to reveal ours, if not for Fighter's troublesome attachment to Tsukino-san." 

"... You say that, like she shouldn't have protected Usagi-chan."

"He," Maker corrects Mercury. Fighter has always referred to himself by the masculine ore, in senshi form or not. Maker will make sure that everyone respects that. 

"He," Mercury repeats with a nod. "Why can't he?" 

Maker appreciates the simple acknowledgement, but the severity in her tone returns. "Because protecting you is not our duty." The anger of having to spell it out so plainly spills to the surface. "It was a mistake for us to have ever gotten close to you."

There is a moment of horrified silence.

Mercury does not hide her hurt now. "You can't mean that." 

"I really do."

"What are your duties then? What ... brought you here?" Mercury wants to understand. The Starlights are clearly not with Galaxia, so what could have brought them here? 

Maker scoffs, returning to her task of fixing the plane's misaligned front wheel. "You are very nosey," she disparages, but Mercury refuses to be deflected. "You bypassed our solar system’s defenses, just as the enemy did," she doubles down. "It is my responsibility to gather relevant data to prepare for what is to come."

"Sure, but that is none of my concern."

"You don't know that."

"Oh, but I do," Maker seethes. "There is nothing in it for us!" She refuses to give the help that her planet never received.

"Then why do you sound so disappointed?"

Maker speaks as if she expected more from Earth, from them. It is evident that Mercury has struck a nerve, for Maker's emotions suddenly burst like a dam. 

"Because! There was supposed to be an unmatched cosmic power here! A singularity! A false hope—" She drifts off in despair. There is no reason for Princess Kakyuu to be hiding here. No ally powerful enough to stop Galaxia.

That is why Maker is disappointed. 

" ... Can't we work together? Can't we be each other's hope?"

The sincerity in Mercury's voice prompts Maker to meet her gaze. She notices, then, that the blue-haired senshi is handing her the wheel alignment controls. Mercury must have found it easily with her visor.

"I am not sure your comrades would agree," Maker points out stiffly, begrudingly acknowledging that Mercury has a point, while reminding her how hostile the outer senshi were to Maker and the Starlights in the past.

Mercury nods, acknowledging that it would take work.

"Knowing how and why you came here could help," she offers tentatively. An unmatched cosmic power, Maker had said. Were the Starlights really wrong? Mercury wonders if they had deeply outdated records of Queen Serenity and the Silver Crystal. Or were they somehow aware of Sailor Moon in ultimate form? Or ...

"Is it possible that you had traveled here from a different timeline?"

There is a long pause. For a brief moment, Mercury is even hopeful for a truce, but in the end, Maker closes off again. 

"Just leave us be," the foreign senshi says in a subdued tone, like she's already given up.

But there was a look of surprise there. One that Ami had seen before when Taiki first openly recognised her as an intellectual equal. 

Maker knows more than she is willing to share.

*

Upstairs, Venus and Mars are hauling a passed out crew member to the crew rest compartment. 

"I'm still shocked, really," Venus huffs. "We were duped into thinking that we were chasing after hot idol boys. Yaten-samaa!!" She squeals mockingly, imitating how they used to fawn over the band. 

Suddenly, she feels her companion come to a halt. Mars is shaking her head vigorously from side to side. "What?" The beauty goddess frowns at Mars' unexpected reaction. "I'm not saying that they aren't still hot as hell," she concedes, adjusting her grip on the unconscious flight attendant's legs while walking backwards. "And … it was fun staying up all night, waiting for concert tickets ... together," Venus mumbles now, reminiscing on the many midnight releases that she had gone to with Rei. "But we're allowed to feel a little disappointed for being lied to, no?—okay, what is wrong?" Mars looks way too exasperated now.

"For the record, I hated being a boy band."

Venus lets out a scream of fright. Healer's voice came from right behind her. Mars groans in second-hand embarrassment. "I tried to warn you," she murmurs.

"I must admit," Healer snickers. "Ruining your superficial, little fantasy has made this awful day slightly better."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Mars is quick to defend.

"And what’s wrong with fantasies?" Venus chimes in. "I thought that's what the entertainment business is supposed to do – sell a dream." 

"Well, it wasn't meant for you," Healer snarls with sudden anger. "We chose to sing in that form,” they trail off, referring to their masculine form with some unease. "Only because of this planet's antiquated gender norms." 

Venus' eyes widen in recognition, but Mars doesn't understand. “What do you mean?”

"... It doesn’t matter," Healer sighs. Why am I even telling them this? Healer motions to leave.

“You couldn’t serenade your person here, otherwise," Venus supplies.

Healer halts, their interest piqued by her spot-on understanding of the message in their music. "So you see … how your expectations were suffocating."

Venus takes a quick glimpse at Mars. "You assume I don't relate," she says, cryptically, but Healer had noticed the small, revealing gesture. The silver-haired senshi whistles, glancing at Mars, too. “I suppose I assumed wrong." 

"Assumed what?" Mars asks, clueless.

Venus blushes a bright shade of red. "—that I am strong enough!" She announces abruptly, dropping the flight attendant's legs to the floor. "We need Jupiter here!"

"Wait!" Mars hisses, but Venus has already scurried off. Mars glares at the now chuckling Healer. "Are you not going to help me?" she demands, slumping under the dead weight of the flight attendant. 

"Nope."

Healer is way too entertained for their own good. If Mars had found Yaten attractive before, she now finds them obnoxious, but she also finds an odd sense of comfort in Healer's seeming lack of desire to walk away, like there is still a chance to connect, to bond.

"Don't be too upset at Venus," Mars asks then, lowering the flight attendant carefully to the floor. "She said all that about you only because of me."

Healer raises an eyebrow then. "How so?"

"Well," Mars confesses with the awkwardness of a self-aware fan. "I think she thought I'd be upset because I normally hate boys, but not … Yaten-kun." 

Healer smiles a little then. "Wouldn't you be relieved instead?" 

Mars blushes. "I suppose," she admits. It is validating, in a way. Mars recalls what Healer had said at the beginning. That he didn't like being a boyband. “I'm sorry that you’ve had to live as one this whole time," she sympathizes. 

A tiny suspicious frown graces Healer's pretty forehead. "As if you'd care." "I do," is Mars' instant reply, hand on her hip. "You did what you had to do, but how you feel still matters. No?" There is an intimacy in her tone that mirrors the way Venus speaks, a self assurance that is less carefree, more resolute, and just as wise beyond their years. Healer hums knowingly. "You're a match made in heaven, huh."

"What?"

"Nothing," Healer smiles privately. "Just saying that - I am happy now."

It takes Mars by surprise.

"I am," Healer doubles down, surprised too by the liberation afforded by the honest admission. "Our time in disguise is finally ending ... " Their voice drifts off into a whisper. "Perhaps I have to thank Fighter for his childish impulses after all."

Mars notices Healer's choice of pronoun for the Star Lights' leader. "Is Fighter … a boy at heart?"

Healer sighs. How does one explain gender fluidity to someone who has grown up in a rigid mindset? Healer starts with the basics.

"Where we are from, we aren't born as a boy or a girl." They think back to their childhood on Kinmokusei, where everyone receives a gender neutral birth name.

"We all can transform at will, but as we take on societal roles in life, we adopt new names and channel our energies into our roles. Maker ... Fighter, and I, when we came of age, we committed to channeling our feminine energy."

"As sailor senshi," Mars says with growing understanding.

Healer nods, looking down at their own slender body, curves that were absent in their masculine form. "How we identify is still personal, nuanced, but as a senshi, this body is sacred." 

To me, at least. 

"It's sacred," Healer intones again, eyes staring out the airplane window into the night sky, wondering if Fighter still feels the same.

*

"Thank heavens Mars is a little dense about this stuff." Venus is busy muttering to herself when she crosses into the economy cabin and bumps into Jupiter.

"—Mars is what?"

"Um, uh," Venus stutters, cheeks flushing up once more. "She needs your help!"

The taller, pony-tailed senshi chuckles knowingly, giving the flustered senshi a pat on the shoulder. It isn't the first time Venus has asked for Jupiter when she feels awkward around Mars.

"Okay, but you take care of her, alright?" Jupiter tilts her head towards their moon princess, who looks worse for wear.

"Fighter walked right by us," Jupiter explains sadly, nodding towards the back of the plane, where the tall, foreign senshi is also checking on the passengers. "Didn't even say hi," she adds with a slightly accusatory tone. 

Venus frowns. It is hard to believe that Fighter would be so cold, after risking the Star Light's civilian identities to save Usagi-chan. When Venus notices that Fighter, too, is stealing furtive glances in their direction, she hums with intrigue. 

"Sailor Moon, will you move further down?" she says, after Jupiter has gone. When Moon turns to her questioningly, Venus waves towards the back of the plane. "I can handle the ones here up front." 

Sailor Moon glances at the dimly-lit aisle towards the back of the plane, and back to Venus, who nods at her with more explicit approval. A grateful smile slowly graces Sailor Moon's sweet, angelic face. She gives Venus a tight hug.

"Thank you, V-chan," she says. Her soft gasp of gratitude is filled with hope, a tinge of worry, and so much love. It is that incredible empathy that makes Usagi both so vulnerable and so strong.

"... I'll protect your shine, princess," Venus whispers as Sailor Moon slips away.

Even if it means going against the destiny we know, I want you to follow your heart.

Then maybe, just maybe, I can follow mine.

*

The next time Fighter sneaks a peek at Sailor Moon, he is surprised to find her walking straight towards him, diffident but determined. 

Seeing Venus' not-so-subtle thumbs up behind her as encouragement, Fighter takes a deep breath to steady his nerves. He wanted this, but he doesn't know how to start.

"Sei—" When Sailor Moon parts her lips to speak, Fighter rushes forward to place a cautionary finger against her lips. Her wide-set eyes follow his stern expression as he tilts his head to remind her of their surroundings. The passengers can wake at any time now. Sailor Moon nods in quiet acknowledgment. She does not argue, either, when he leads her by the hand to the back of the plane.

Seiya, she was going to say, Fighter realizes. Her instinct was to call him by his preferred name. It makes his heart flutter in a way that he did not expect. Why is he happy that she still refers to him by that name? 

My time as Seiya is ending. 

The thought strikes him like a ton of bricks.

Fighter barely notices where he is as he guides Sailor Moon through the curtained partition into an alcove with a lavatory. He pushes the bifolding door open, and when he sees himself in senshi form, it takes him a second to realize that he is looking at his reflection in the mirror.

And Seiya is his preferred name.

Each revelation sweeps over him like a tidal wave.

Every tiny movement in this feminine body reminds him that he has failed his companions, again, and his internalized shame intensifies. 

"Seiya?" 

Hearing Sailor Moon call his name again, Fighter inhales, and exhales deeply. He had forgotten to breathe. He had forgotten that she was even there.

"Is this okay?" he asks, haltingly, averting his gaze from his reflection to focus on why they are here now, in the lavatory. Taking note of the paper ribbon laying across the toilet lid, ("sanitized for your convenience" it says,) he offers to sit down, so that Sailor Moon could stay near the now closed exit. "We can leave that unlocked, if you'd like." He gestures at the door behind her. The last thing he wants is for her to feel involuntarily trapped in here with him. 

She shrugs, like it does not bother her either way. Fighter wonders what is on her mind. What made her approach him first? The lights stay dim in the tiny space that they occupy, but he still finds it hard to look her in the eye, or think of saying anything other than that he's sorry.

How does one apologize properly for hiding one's whole other identity? What should I say?

A gentle squeeze on his hand brings Fighter back to the present; her silent way of checking in. Oh. She had never let go of his hand this whole time.

Feeling a little shy, Fighter looks up to meet Sailor Moon's gaze. He is surprised to find her orbs shining with wonder, like she is seeing him up close for the first time, and nearly lets out an audible gasp when she cups his cheek with her free hand. 

"It really is you," Sailor Moon says, breathless in her astonishment. She sees it now, his familiar and intense gaze. She wasn't dreaming after all. 

Her tender intimacy causes Fighter to feel equally sheepish and frustrated. If he were in Seiya's masculine form, she would have never touched him like this. The thought upsets him. 

Pulling her close,  Fighter places his hand on top of hers and slides her hand down his faceline. Sailor Moon's breath hitches discernibly, but Fighter does not stop there. He plants a hint of a kiss on the heel of her palm. Her velvet glove feels soft against his lips.

"It is me," he says in a low, sultry voice, as if to remind Sailor Moon/Usagi that, yes, it is him, who made no secret of his feelings for her, who feels comfortable with her in the clandestine darkness, who wonders if she feels the same about him. Sailor Moon retracts her hands then, self-conscious under Fighter's unwavering attention. Suddenly, she feels set ablaze by his charged gaze, as though she is being undressed by his eyes alone, heat pooling wherever they linger. Her cheeks flush up when Fighter's line of sight pauses exactly at her bust height. "Perv," she mutters shakily, conscious now of the heaving of her chest with every breath.

Fighter raises an eyebrow with intrigue. "For confirming that you have a dazzling star seed?" He nods at her silver crystal brooch.

Moon cannot blush harder. 

"Don't act like you weren't looking," she huffs in protest. His positively pleased smirk is infuriating. 

"I'm just happy," Fighter admits. 

When she frowns at him again, his more serious side returns. It is a subtle switch that she knows so well now: The way Seiya has always looked when his thoughts would turn inwards. It softens her. "Why?" Sailor Moon asks quietly. 

Fighter smiles a little, but doesn't answer immediately. It is hard not to notice the familiar upward curl of his lips, the same one that has been distracting her lately. His are the same lips that had kissed her forehead in his sleep, and had smiled at her when she needed encouragement. So lost in thought about her previous moments with Seiya, Sailor Moon gasps when he reaches for her again, fingers tracing the back of her now lowered hand, as if asking for permission.

"Is it wrong," Fighter asks softly. "To find your shine breathtaking?" 

Outrageous flirting, Usagi would have said of Seiya normally, but his words now have the added weight of a senshi's intent. Sailor Moon has to admit that her own gaze lingers on the star-shaped brooch resting between Fighter's breasts, too, its brilliance as striking as his skin exposure. She quickly averts her gaze. "You—you're really forward, you know," she manages to squeeze out, diverting as usual.

Fighter chuckles quietly. "You say that a lot," he reminds her. "Tell me what you really think." 

Sailor Moon feels his little finger intertwine with hers, and suddenly his every gesture—the fluttering of his long lashes, the way his elongated eyes accentuate his sharp features, the heat of his intensity, his loving gaze, his tongue-in-cheek banter, and his sincerity—they all come into focus. She vividly recalls how his tailored red suit had faded away earlier into the tight-fitting bikini top and short pants that are now molding so closely to his slender, feminine form. The certainty in which he called out to his cosmic powers to defend her. 

"You're beautiful," Sailor Moon blurts out then, blushing profusely when Fighter looks surprised. "It's not fair," she mumbles to save herself, even though it is not at all what she meant. "How are you better looking now than when you are a teen idol?"

Fighter laughs heartily then.

"You really think so?" He leans forward, enjoying how obviously flustered she is as he takes her hand fully in his, kisses it, and intertwines their fingers. "I quite like being Seiya though," he admits for the first time ever, to anyone. It feels good to say it out loud.

"Well, you do seem more ... annoyingly at ease," Sailor Moon rasps, wondering why their tangled hands feel more intimate now through their gloves. Despite the added layer of fabric, it feels as though his kiss has seared a burning impression on the back of her hand as well. Fighter's winning smile is not helping. 

"I won't deny it," he says, waggling his eyebrows. "Annoying and all." 

It makes her laugh, finally. Her eyes shine with affection, and whatever tension that was between them dissolves, if just for a moment, but Fighter is in a self-punishing mood tonight. What would be the point of pretending that everything is as it was before? Fighter needs to ask. "Does it … scare you to find out that Seiya and I are the same person?"

"—No!" 

Her immediate response startles him, and Sailor Moon blushes, too, at her repeated outbursts, but she doesn't regret her admission. He has always shared his feelings with her with such certainty, while treating hers with cautious reverence and care. It is high time that she reciprocates in kind. 

"I was surprised, yes," Sailor Moon acknowledges first, remembering how it felt to see him transform before her eyes. "But I hope you know now that you can trust me." To hold a secret so important that they kept it from each other. To protect each other in the hard times ahead. She places both her hands over his, squeezing their hands together like a prayer.

"You're not alone," she voices her promise like a mantra. "You're not, and whatever the circumstances ... I am glad that you are here, too."

She looks at him with such conviction that Fighter sees it now: This is a continuation to their conversation after softball practice. It is a declaration that she sees no inconsistency to his personhood, that Seiya is as real to her as he is to himself. 

He stands up then, closing in on her with unbridled forwardness.

"You know my comrades do not trust easily," he reminds her as he backs her up against the door, their long, exposed legs tangling together in the limited space.

"But that's only because they don't know you like I do," he breathes, pressing his forehead against hers. Their tiaras clash lightly as they lock eyes. Fighter silently seeks her consent to be this close. She doesn't yell at him, doesn't tell him off like she normally would. Instead, she is listening intently, as though she is hearing his words in their totality for the very first time. His pure, unadulterated honesty. "And I wouldn’t have regretted a single thing I did today," Fighter confesses then, grazing his thumb pad over her parted lips. He feels her sharp inhale. "Even if you didn't trust me." His tone softens with vulnerability. "Even if I had … scared you." 

Because you're still here.

The unspoken sentiment hangs in the air, and he feels rather than hears the soft "oh" of her lips, the quivering sensuality of her voiceless utterance.

You ... didn't scare ... me, he sees Sailor Moon reemphasize between erratic breaths. It tantalizes him, how she shudders at his every gesture. From the supple touch of his gloves against her lips, to their still tightly held hands, grazing just barely against her thigh. Fighter cannot pretend that he hasn't also noticed the firm pressure of his legs against hers. Because I can feel that you're still here, her whole body conveys back to him, and Fighter wonders where he is finding the strength to hold back when she looks like she would be in pieces if he pushed any harder. If I kissed her now, would she kiss me back?

A loud rap on the door brings them back to reality.

"I know you're in here with her." It is Taiki's voice. "The passengers are waking up. Please come upstairs ... before Yaten finds out."

It is disorientingly difficult now for Fighter to put on his most dutiful self. Suddenly aware again of how uncomfortable he is in his own skin, he sighs heavily but moves to do as he is told, reaching for the door. Duty calls. It is Sailor Moon, though, who stops him.

"We will talk again ... right?" she asks, her eyes conveying concern, hope, hesitance, desire. Fighter looks down at her hand, squeezing his tightly.

It is in that moment that Fighter knows he is destined to break the status quo. Even if he were to promise Healer and Maker that he would stay away from her, he will not be able to do so, as long as she cares for him, too. 

Fighter returns the squeeze and pulls Sailor Moon close once more. When he presses his lips against her ear, it is Seiya's affirmative tone that feathers against the sensitive shell of her ear, kissing her temple like he did nights ago. "I'll always fight for you ... Odango."

Suddenly, Usagi doesn't hate the nickname anymore, because it assures her that this moment was real. 

Seiya Kou is Sailor Star Fighter.

Chapter Text

Am I not enough?

It was a question that Usagi could not answer. 

Even the pouring rain could not have drowned out Seiya's soft spoken but earnest plea. The warmth of his sincere gaze stays with her long after he had saved her again, this time on the Juban High School rooftop. 

Am I not enough?

How she wishes she could have told him that he was. 

Because Usagi knows.

She is the one who regressed into an unconsolable mess at the mere suggestion of Tuxedo Mask, even though Mamoru left nothing for her to remember their love. Nothing but his aching absence when a red rose is thrown by another. 

She is the one who is not enough. 

Her self-doubt, once a faint humming in her chest, is now loud and clear, rivaling the noisy pitter patter on her umbrella as she walks through downtown Tokyo. 

Rain. 

It just won't stop.

A car speeding by screeches to a halt.

"Where are you going?"

Usagi lifts her pink umbrella to find Michiru exiting Haruka's Ferrari with Setsuna in tow. She cannot say that she is surprised. It was a matter of time that the outer senshi would come to stop her. 

"I hope you're not going to go see him," Haruka warns as she slams her car door. The tall racer flips her perfectly side swept hair when nodding at the concert hall ahead, only half a block away. 

Usagi bites her lip. "It's their final concert." She speaks softly, conscious of Haruka's barely concealed contempt for Seiya. The Three Lights are going to call out to the Light of Hope, a legendary power that their princess believes can rival Galaxia. 

"You have Mamoru-san," Michiru points out, clearly aware by now of Seiya's confession. Setsuna, who has remained quiet next to them, nods in agreement. Her deep purple umbrella tilts forward, hiding her eyes. "And Small Lady," she adds.

Usagi squeezes her hand close to her chest. "Why can't we support them?" She feels it again, the stirring of her soul, the humming in her ears, the reminder that she is defined by an overwhelming destiny. "Why can't we care for the people we love, just because they aren't from here? Why do we have to choose?" The pain in her voice is palpable.

"Because," Haruka says somberly. "We will lose everything we have left, if you don't focus on what matters."

" … What do you mean?" 

Haruka glances at the Guardian of Time. 

"Setsuna-san," Usagi's voice quivers. "What happened?"

The solitary senshi raises her umbrella then, just enough to see Usagi's tightly clasped hand. The hand that should have had a promise ring from Mamoru-san. 

"We," Setsuna reports with difficulty, referring to the communication that they had lost with 30th century Tokyo. "We came to the conclusion that the extraterrestial senshi's arrival to this timeline through a space-time distortion has caused an … unprecedented ripple effect." 

Setsuna pauses with uncharacteristic hesitation. 

"And?" Usagi presses, fearful of the gravity of Setsuna's words.

Behind her, Michiru is shaking her head. You can't tell her. Setsuna lowers her umbrella, shielding her eyes from Usagi again. "As far as we can tell," she speaks haltingly, unable to believe what she is about to say. "There is no longer a … Neo Crystal Tokyo in our future."

"What do you mean?" Usagi's mind spins with dread. Her voice breaks. "I don't—what do you mean? Is—is Chibiusa gone?!"

The mention of her friend causes Setsuna to break. She shakes her head vehemently. "I want to believe that the Small Lady we know is still out there, but—" 

"Kitten," Haruka interrupts. "N—!" Usagi chokes on her tears, startled by how Haruka's arm is suddenly wrapped around her shoulders.

"Kitten, listen. The way things are right now, in our timeline, we can never see Chibiusa-chan again. Do you understand?" 

We can never see her again. 

Usagi is unable to process. 

"I'm sorry, princess," Usagi hears Setsuna say, but the words don't sink in. She barely notices that she has dropped her umbrella. The rain crashes down on her mercilessly. 

Michiru steps in, nudging Usagi to get under her marine blue umbrella with Haruka. "This is why you have to break ties with the Starlights immediately," she re-emphasizes.

Usagi looks hollowly into the distance. 

"Are you really suggesting that by … caring for Seiya and the Starlights, we've lost her?" A strong mixture of powerful emotions bubbles from within Usagi. Anger, frustration, denial. The moon princess glares at each of the outer senshi with tear-filled eyes. "I can't accept that." She removes herself from Haruka's arms. "No." Her tone is final and resolute when Haruka and Michiru both move to stop her. "I will not leave things as they are." 

"Then you must say goodbye." Haruka's steely voice rings through the air. "Tell him that this is the last time that you will see him."

Usagi falters but does not respond to Haruka's provocation. When Usagi leaves, it is, perhaps surprisingly, Setsuna who moves first to go after her. 

Haruka grabs her by the arm. "She cannot know that Mamoru-san is gone."

Michiru agrees. "It would break her. She could lose hope, abandon her post."

"So we let her think that she alone would be to blame for continuing down this timeline, even though we know what truly has changed it." The indignity in Setsuna's voice is tangible. "How can we in good conscience—" 

"Setsu, you know that we cannot choose how we get the results we need."

"Haruka," Setsuna says with equal contempt, warning her companion for overstepping. "I agreed to keeping it a secret to shield our princess, not to isolate her." 

"Then you are letting your guilt blind you. You've already made one serious mistake, have you not?" 

The admonishment feels like a sucker punch after everything. Lost for breath, Setsuna gives in to the shame she feels, the regrets she holds. Everything she's done since that first kiss with Mamoru has been her penitence for knowing his touch, an intimacy that was not hers to have.

"I know you will always do what you feel is best for the greater good," Setsuna says to both her companions. Michiru lowers her gaze, though Haruka remains icy, defensive.

"But there is room for me to own up to my part in this mess," she offers as a compromise. "She needs to know that she will always have us." 

"That is a given," Michiru says, but neither she nor Haruka moves to stop Setsuna now. 

"We cannot choose," Haruka says again, to herself as much as to anyone else. "Even if we become the villain in our story."

Michiru nods silently, leaning into her lover's shoulder as they watch Setsuna leave.

It is a cross that they are willing to bear. 

All for the hope that their loved ones will live to see another day.

*

"Princess."

Usagi looks up in concern. 

"I am not here to stop you," Setsuna discloses before Usagi could ask. She joins Usagi under the awnings of the concert hall and closes her umbrella. Seeing how drenched Usagi is, Setsuna lowers her gaze regretfully. They had pushed her too hard.

"I want to apologize for our selfish ask," Setsuna admits. "Everything we said, it was to make up for not ... doing our due diligence. It was our responsibility, after all, to keep extraterrestrial forces out."

Usagi shakes her head. "Setsuna-san, I don't blame you."

"You should," Setsuna dares to say. 

She blames herself for not keeping her feelings from interfering with her duties. She blames herself for being so stubborn that she misinterpreted her many recent dreams about Mamoru. He had never arrived in the US. He is nowhere to be found. Instead, his soul has been attempting to help her solve the mystery of Shadow Galactica's arrival. His corporeal form is gone, only able to call in from alternative futures, from worlds that do not exist in their realm.

Setsuna blames herself. For the princess cannot know the truth.

Mamoru-san is gone. 

"I really don't," Usagi says again, smiling a little now with no knowledge of Setsuna's turmoil. "Not everything has been bad."

Seeing Setsuna frown, Usagi thinks that she disagrees.

"I know you think poorly of me for it, but I mean it. If Galaxia and the Starlights had changed our timeline,  so did Chibiusa, and you," Usagi reminds her. "We wouldn't even have known you existed otherwise, Setsuna-san. We would have never met. So how can it be all bad?"

Usagi observes the tall, humble woman before her, who suddenly looks visibly pained. Like the rest of the outer senshi, Setsuna normally maintains her stoic posture as a sailor guardian, even in civilian form. It is as if her body remembers her solitary responsibilities, and the only moments Usagi has seen her relax is around Chibiusa. She wonders why. It is as though Setsuna only finds comfort in the future that they know will lead to their sweet, precocious little friend. The future that she came from.

"This all must be hard for you too," Usagi acknowledges then. Setsuna only shakes her head in response. Usagi wonders if Mamoru saw this side of her. She wonders if he admired Setsuna because of it. She wonders if he wants to be strong because of her, as Usagi does too.

She lowers her gaze to the floor. A puddle has formed where she stands, as it has at Setsuna's heels. Usagi can see her own muddled emotions in their rippling reflections, the questions that she dare not ask. "I have envied you, Setsuna-san," she confesses instead, bending down to wring her dress out.

A confused frown forms between Setsuna's brows. 

"You are closer in age," Usagi explains as she straightens up again, her eyes trained far away. "You are incredibly smart. You have shared interests."

Realizing what she means, Setsuna's heart stops. "Princes—" "I know that these feelings are misplaced," Usagi admits before Setsuna can say anymore. She does not blame Setsuna for her fading relationship with Mamoru. "Especially now, when I see what it means for you to be here." 

Setsuna expects Usagi's reproach, the wrath for her betrayal and incompetence, but Usagi continues to surprise her.

"You believe in destiny," the moon princess points out, meeting Setsuna's uncertain gaze as she steps closer to her. "And you choose it over your heart." Setsuna's eyes well up. It feels as though Usagi is speaking straight to Setsuna's deepest regret, a déjà vu to the pain in Mamoru's eyes when she slapped him. 

Taking both of Setsuna's hands, Usagi holds them together between them. "I know that's how you, Haruka-san, and Michiru-san approach things." She thinks of all the times the outer senshi have sacrificed themselves readily for their duties.

"But I want you to believe that the heart matters," Usagi says in earnest. Her thoughts linger on Seiya again. 

Am I not enough?

Usagi holds back her tears. She will be strong. She will be enough for her senshi.

"I want you to believe that we will see Chibiusa again," Usagi beseeches. "Because we love her. Because you love her. We have to believe that."

Setsuna's eyes widen as she feels Usagi's empathetic energy flow through her. She sees in her a shadow of the Neo Queen Serenity who is to come, regal, merciful, unyieldingly self-sacrificial. She feels the power of hope, of seeing Usagi in her future form, no matter what may come. And Setsuna feels him too, for the first time beyond her tortured dreams—Chiba Mamoru's soul, calling out from the cosmic abyss, reminding her that he had said something similar to her before.

"Setsuna-san, why do you deny yourself happiness?"

Because I am not supposed to love you, she admits quietly, closing her eyes.

But you do.

"What if it is not enough?" 

"It is."

A tear runs down Setsuna's cheek.

It has to be.

Enough to linger.

Enough to hold on.

Enough to retrace this thread from the present to a future with each other.

Because I love you.

I love you, and that has to be enough. 

Setsuna feels a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

By the time that she notices its absence, she is kneeling down and crying openly. Haruka and Michiru are by her side, and Usagi is long gone, carrying the burden that Setsuna had thought that they would bear for her instead.

Chapter Text

"Have you written a song for her?"

Seiya looks up. "A song?" In the midst of reviewing the Three Lights set list, he is sure that he had misheard Princess Kakyuu, but there is an unmistakable twinkle in her eye. 

"I see the way you look at her.” 

She needs not say more. Seiya blushes a deep crimson.

"Princess—"

"I do not mind," Kakyuu interrupts knowingly.

She sits down next to him and sets down two cups of osmanthus tea, one for him, one for her. This used to be a daily ritual on their planet - tea time every afternoon - but the mundane things feel so surreal now. When she hooks her forefinger under his chin and tilts his head back, Seiya freezes.

"I don't mind," Kakyuu says again, inspecting his face closely. "Even if these lips were to touch another."

Seiya gasps in shock. "They haven't!"

"They will," Kakyuu whispers like a premonition, leaving him gaping in bewilderment until he realizes her motive finally. Seiya groans.

"You cannot do that."

"Do what, my dear?" The princess returns to sipping her tea.

"Speak like that, when you have prophetic powers!" 

Kakyuu breaks into uncontrollable giggles. "I am sorry, dear, it's just been so long." She smiles. "I missed this."

"Missed torturing me?" Seiya laughs drily in defeat. He has missed her, too. Just knowing that she is alive is a blessing. All that he has been through was not for nothing. He thinks of the bright light that took Kakyuu away. The anguish of leaving their planet for the unknown. The disguises they took on Earth. Meeting the princess of this land. Her long, flowing, honey blonde hair. The brightest smile that he has ever seen. The quivering of her soft lips when he drew close …

Kakyuu observes her senshi captain's reticence, the faraway look in his eyes, a longing for something more. "I see something changed in you," she notes pensively. "Not something new, but something closer to an epiphany. Something ... precious." She peers into Seiya's now attentive gaze. "Am I misunderstanding?" 

Seiya feels transparent under her all-seeing eyes. He clears his throat and shakes his head. "I am proud of being the Starlights by your side, princess, but I also—please don't misunderstand." He mulls over how to tell his truth. "I don't… want to stop being Seiya." He looks away. "Is it wrong of me to feel this way?" 

Kakyuu shakes her head. "Every relationship is always in flux," she reminds him, her tone wistful. "Even your relationships with yourselves." For so long, her three sailor guardians have moved as one to support her, never questioning who they are without her. "It is up to us to listen closely," she advises. 

Seiya appreciates Kakyuu's nuanced understanding, but he also cannot shake his Starlights training in absolution, the one that seems so easy for Maker and Healer to adhere to. He does not notice how tightly he is clenching his hands until Kakyuu places hers atop his white knuckles. He meets her gaze then.

Kakyuu recognizes the flame that burns brightly within him. The same fighter, but somewhere closer to his nature, someone who is finding out what he wants. She pats his now more relaxed hands and gestures to the tea. "Thank you, for sharing with me."

Sometimes, it is just enough to be heard. Kakyuu has always been a wonderful listener, and even though nothing about his fate has changed, Seiya feels a weight lift off his chest.

The princess is also ever curious. 

"So, is there a song on the set list for the moon princess?" 

Seiya almost spills his tea. Falling back into pieces, he stutters incoherently. "I … I—! I haven't shared it with … the others." Taiki and Yaten would have killed him, if they knew he had been playing around with the instrumentals.

Kakyuu hums thoughtfully. "You should record it." 

"But now is not the time, your highness." They have plans, tonight, to take a stand against Galaxia. 

The princess smiles knowingly again.

"Now is most certainly the time."

* 

When Usagi arrives at the Three Lights dressing room, she is at first disappointed to find it empty. Maybe they are rehearsing on stage ... As she turns to leave, however, something calls at her from the room within. Usagi scans the room once more. This time, she notices the recording booth in the corner, the slight movement under the dimmed lights within. 

She sees him when she gets closer - Seiya, in the booth alone. Tiptoeing to the soundproof window that separates them, she finds that the singer is completely immersed in the moment, with his eyes closed and a pair of studio headphones over his ears. Usagi stands captivated as Seiya vocalizes with ardor, singing words that she cannot hear.

He's just a celebrity, she reminds herself as she gently places her palm on the glass. 

A bright star, who has been there for her in the darkest moments. 

He's just a transfer student.

And a fighter, from literal worlds away. 

He's just Seiya. Usagi closes her eyes. Every denial is becoming harder and harder. "You must say goodbye," she hears Haruka's warning ringing in her ears. 

But I don't want to.

—Seiya hits the stop button, feeling a sense of release in his exhaustion. He should have known that he needed to let his feelings out before facing the enemy head on. Kakyuu has never been wrong about anything. Removing his headphones, Seiya exports the audio file, saving it even if no one will ever hear the track. Looking up, he is surprised to find someone standing outside the recording booth. 

Odango. 

His muse. How is she here? He cautiously approaches the thick glass between them. Placing his palm against hers, Seiya prays fervently that she is not but a figment of his imagination. Whenever he is with her, he feels as though they are living in a parallel universe where his feelings for her wouldn't be a taboo. Unreachable, but within reach … now she is on the other side.

When Usagi opens her eyes, looking just as surprised to see him standing before her, a sense of relief washes over Seiya. He quickly moves to the door and invites her in.

"... You came." 

He speaks with such open vulnerability that Usagi feels bashful as she enters what feels like his personal space, his room. Not long ago, she would have deflected everything he said, like it was all a joke. It wasn't. It isn't. She acknowledges that now. Looking around at the complex equipment and heavily padded walls with a sense of wonder, she feels the powerful silence within the booth, especially when the door closes shut behind her, sealing them off from the outside world. All she hears now is their quiet breathing, and her heartbeat thrumming in her ears.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes for interrupting.

"No, I—I'm actually done here." Seiya hastily pushes his equipment and lyrical notes to the side. It feels ticklish to see her now with more clarity. A frown forms on his forehead though when he notices the dampness of her skin, the raindrops dripping from her short bangs. His eyes grow wide as he scans further down to her strapped dress. "Are you okay?" Seiya hastily takes off his red bomber jacket, cheeks flushing.

"Oh, I'm—I'm fine, really!"

Usagi waves her hands around awkwardly as Seiya wraps his jacket over her bare shoulders. She accepts it though. The room is rather cold. "Is that for the concert?" She asks.

Seiya glances around. "Oh, no ... this is just for myself. Something to have closure." He taps the tabletop absently, a faint, plaintive smile lingering on his lips. Usagi recognizes that expression in him - the knowledge that being Seiya is temporary. Haruka's haunting words resurface.

"I don't want to believe it." 

Seiya looks up, confused.

"My friends," Usagi explains with her hands squeezed over her chest. "They said that you were not supposed to be here. That a space-time distortion brought you here." That they should go back to a reality without each other.

Ah. Seiya feels the tension leave his shoulders as things all fall into place with her one statement. It is a devastating resignation to realising why he has long felt like they are in another world, a deja vu that feels both so familiar and foreign. 

"That ... actually explains things." 

His heartache intensifies when Usagi's face falls. She did not want him to agree with her friends. Seiya has never wished for her to be sad because of him. Still, he cannot help but wish, too, that she has found a small place for him in her heart.

Would you have returned my feelings in another timeline, another universe?

He thinks to take her tightly clasped hands, but hesitates when Usagi asks him to tell her why travelling through a space-time distortion makes sense to him. Seiya slides his hands into his pockets. 

"Well, how quickly we arrived here, for one." He starts with the easiest tell. "This galaxy should have taken us aeons to get to, but we …" The Starlights had sped through many worlds on the way here, every one of them destroyed by Galaxia. All the places that started to look familiar, but weren't. A blur of violence, desolation. "... The only clear thing I remember is the Light."

"The 'Light'?"

He tells her about it all. The light that protected Kakyuu in the end. The light that called him by his name. Seiya, it had said back then. Not Fighter. It feels strange, knowing what he knows now. 

"It's like it knew me," he chuckles softly. "I started to think that it was you," he admits, a little embarrassed. "Delusional, I know. But … I felt like it wanted me to find you. I still feel that way." 

Usagi blushes under his serious gaze. Seiya knows that look. Her reflex to reject him before he can begin. So he stops her by speaking first. To tell her how he really feels about her. To be honest about how he's wanted to steal her away, to somewhere even the moonlight wouldn't reach them. To admit how he feels so strongly that he's ready to fight destiny for her. His own destiny, and hers. 

But he knows that it is not to be. "A space-time taboo." He sees it now. Was it not enough that they came from different statuses? Suddenly there is a whole new chasm between them. 

Usagi feels an inexplicable pain to see him accept their fate with the same expression that she had seen in Setsuna earlier. How can she admit that she, too, wants him to steal her away to the dark side of the moon? She has to be the strong senshi that her friends need her to be.

To stay.

She wants to stay.

Still, when Seiya looks at her like he would hold her if she gave permission, Usagi wants to cry. She feels him draw close, casting a shadow upon her. His hands are still firmly slotted in his pants pockets, like he knows he shouldn't. 

"Odango." 

How soothing it is now to hear the endearing nickname. She blinks away her brimming tears when Seiya finally yields to the moment and softly traces her cheek with the back of his hand.

"Tell me what's on your mind." There is a slight quiver in his request. 

Usagi is not sure that she can explain.

She places her hand over his, and feels Seiya freeze up when she moves his hand off her face. He thinks that she is rejecting him, again, but Usagi wants him to know the truth. A truth too scary to speak into words. "Close ... your eyes?" she asks, tiny fingers hesitantly clasping around his slender ones. 

Reluctantly, Seiya does as he is told. He tries to calm down, to not hope for more, but fails miserably when he realizes that she is placing his hand on her chest. 

"Odan—"

"I said, close your eyes!"

Blushing very hard, he does so once more. "Focus," he hears her say, voice trembling slightly. Seiya cannot help himself. "There's a lot to focus on—ow!"

She slapped him across the head.

"Focus."

Seiya takes a deep breath then, willing his mind to get past the damp fabric of her dress that is sticking so closely to her skin. He tries not to remember how translucent her clothes had looked earlier, before he gave her his bomber jacket. He gets past the softness of her breasts squeezed against his hand (which, mind you, is very hard to do), and the realization that she has wrapped his palm around her brooch (oh). He feels her erratic heartbeat (she is not as calm as she pretends to be), and tries to get past that, too, until he feels the tremendous power of—

"Your star seed." He cannot hide the awe in his voice. The immense power of her essence remains impressive, shining brighter than any star that he has ever seen. Usagi tightens her grasp on his hand in silent affirmation, but something feels off. Something that Seiya has known intuitively for a long time. The reason he first started to feel concern for her well being. He senses the violent thrashing of her essence. 

"It's struggling."

"It's lost," Usagi admits in a subdued voice. "It's—" Seiya feels her chest rise and fall sharply before she continues. "... Seeking its long-time counterpart."

Counterpart?

"The golden crystal," Usagi confesses. "The power that balances mine." 

Seiya opens his eyes then. "Your prince."

A sad smile on her lips. "My destiny."

The outer senshi would not tell Usagi, but she senses something wrong with the Earth, with Mamoru. She thinks of Setsuna's regretful apology. An absence that the Guardian of Time clearly senses as well. Something is wrong. Something has been wrong for so long.

Seeing her pained expression, Seiya starts to retract his hand out of respect, but Usagi holds it there, not budging. He doesn't understand. Seiya is surprised, again, when she reaches up to cup his cheek, like she did before, when he was Fighter. He feels breathless in their shared gaze as he feels her frantic star seed gradually calm down under his hand into a soft glow. 

Ah.

He feels it now, the pulsing resonance between her silver moon crystal and his cosmic star seed. Her soul with his soul. One not of balancing her ying to her prince's yang, but that of intertwining kindred spirits. Seiya leans into her caress. How cruel our fate is. A tear runs down his cheek as he pulls her in.

"Seiya …"

"Please," he says, tears streaming down his face. Usagi feels his trembling frame and starts to cry too, knowing that she wants nothing more in this moment than to comfort him, but she is his source of pain. 

"I'm sorry," she whimpers.

"Don't be." He strokes her face, trying to commit this moment to memory. He wipes off her growing tears with his thumb, like he once did when there was frosting on her cheeks. Like when she teared up hearing him talk about leaving home. Like when she cried just minutes ago. When has crying in front of each other become a habit? The thought makes both of them smile. 

"I love all that you love," Usagi whispers. "All that you want to protect."

Seiya nods. "All that you love," he sighs in defeat. "Even if we were never supposed to have met ..."

He closes his eyes. This is not what he selfishly wants, but it is what he wants for them. To save everyone that matters to them: Their worlds, hers and his. But how can he let her go? When he fails to speak further, he feels her stand on tiptoe to reach his face again.

"I'll always fight for you." Words that he had said to her on the plane, spoken right back at him. Seiya opens his eyes to find that Usagi is still refusing to accept their fate. "So, please," she pleads with a determined gaze. "Please don't say that we were never supposed to meet."

Seiya cannot take it anymore. He squeezes her hands tight and slides them down to his chest, holding them close to his heart. His star seed. His soul. Her soul. Caressing his nose against hers tentatively, Seiya is fearful of the quiet inhale that he expects on Usagi's lips. Instead, he feels the tightening of her grip on his chest and leans in, heart thudding in his ears as Kakyuu's premonition fades into his awareness. I know you said you don't mind, princess, but—

Grazing his lips against the moon princess's feels like betrayal and the undeniable truth all at once. Seiya shudders at the sound that escapes Usagi's throat when he leaves her hands on his chest to pull her in further by the small of her back. A sound far from resignation to his advances. A deep sigh of relief. Usagi cannot fight what she has known now for a long, long time. That this feels whole. That this feels right. That she's wanted him to kiss her many, many times before. In her heart of hearts, she has feelings for him.

She has feelings for Seiya.

Soft and sensual at first, their kissing grows increasingly hot and breathy as their lips part against each other with the desire for closeness. If they were never meant to know this feeling, why does it feel so good? Seiya doesn't understand how it is so much more than he could have hoped for, but still not enough. He glances at the softly padded wall behind Usagi and shifts his weight, never once breaking their dizzying kiss as he presses her up against the wall.

"Mmnh … !"

Seiya groans. Usagi has no idea how hot she sounds, not an inkling of the thoughts that are going through his mind. The things he would do with her if she would want to, too. Any accusation of perversion would be well deserved.

Pulling back just enough to speak, he demands her to put her arms around his neck.

Usagi blushes hard at the closeness of his voice against her lips. The way he does not wait for her to answer and returns to their kiss with urgency. Slowly, at first, she does as she is asked, sliding her hands up Seiya's neckline. As soon as she is anchored onto him though, Seiya picks her up off the floor, causing a muffled squeal of surprise to escape her lips. His jacket slides off of her shoulders, along with the straps of her sleeveless dress. Dazed in their embrace, Usagi vaguely panics over whether or not her clothing is falling off her frame entirely. Goosebumps form on her exposed shoulders as the air-conditioning hits her cold, damp skin, a discomfort that is soon forgotten when his tongue presses against hers. Usagi sinks into the feeling of need. She wants this, even if it is the only time that she will allow herself to be honest to her heart's desire. To bask in his warmth. To want him here, with her, forever.

She doesn't even know when they both opened their eyes, staring at each other as they gasp for air, just to confirm that they are still here, together. Usagi's heart palpitates when Seiya eyes her state of undress. Only then does she notice how see through her dress has become, the outline of her lacey bra visible through the soaked fabric. She is about to speak her usual protests of outrage when Seiya stops her mid-gasp with a trail of kisses down her neckline. Her breath hitches when his lips trace her shoulder with reverence. One side, and then the other. 

But he is not trying to go any further.

Carefully adjusting his hold on her, Seiya returns the dress straps to their proper positions. He lets the jacket fall to the floor though. "Is this okay?" He asks as he pulls her close again. He will cover her modesty, but does not want to let her go, because he can see it now—even as her lips are bruised from his kissing, even as she is gasping for air with her cheeks flushed—she is fading. She is going to go back to where she belongs. And he will, too. He will go back to being a senshi. He will say goodbye to all of this. Because he has to. He has to.

"Sei ... ya." Her voice conveys hesitance.

Seiya hums softly in response, mind still swirling with invasive thoughts. His eyelashes flutter when he presses his forehead against hers. "Say my name again ... please." The only name that matters.

"... Seiya."

He leans in to kiss her pulse. 

"Ah ... Seiya."

He kisses her again, knowing he would never hear that name after today. He'd never hear her sweet, intoxicating voice, calling for his true self. The one that feels right. The one that is his, and his alone. How does one live with a lie after knowing the light? 

"Seiya, we—"

He stops, dreading what she would say next, but Usagi does not finish the sentence. Does not push him away. Does not continue, either. Seiya feels crushed. He loosens his grip around her waist. It really is one sided, isn't it? It—

" ... again ..."

Seiya's heart stops. He is sure that he's misheard.

"Just," Usagi whispers, "just once more ... " Her trembling hands slide up from his shoulder blades, fingers tangled in his long hair, but Seiya still cannot process her words. Even when she pulls herself close, nose grazing his cheek, lips feathering over his lips. Until Usagi kisses him, really kisses him.

She dissolves into his arms, and the stormy winds in his heart come to a stand still, subsiding into a tranquil silence that he is not sure he has ever known.

If he dies tomorrow, it would've all been worth it.

Outside the studio, there is no sound. No one else would know her whimpers when he wraps her legs around his waistline to deepen their kiss, desperate to hold on to what is forbidden and sacred all at once. No one else would know how his belt buckle bruises her navel, or how tightly she holds on as he crushes her against the wall. No one else can know the taste of their tears as they whisper vows into each other's lips. Vows that they will share in spite of their unforgiving destiny ahead, leaving no witness but each other. With eyes only for each other.

For you are my soul, my heart, my mirror, and I will fight for you in this life and the next. Always. 

Always.

Chapter Text

ACT III: TRANSCENDING TIME

"You have found peace now. The silence, stillness, tears mе apart. I dream in color, but I wake up and the mеmory rushes back. You come rushing back." — Hayley Kiyoko

“I never wished to force immortality on anyone.” 

Neo Queen Serenity knows, as soon as the words fall out of her lips, that she should have kept the thought to herself. 

“It matters not, your majesty,” Mars sighs predictably. A millennium has passed by, and yet her nitpicking has not ceased. The tone is subdued now, however, betraying the eons that they have lived despite their ever youthful appearances. Mars continues. “There are already whispers of the Black Moon clan making steps to—"

"Please don't use that name," the queen interjects. With a finger pressed against her throbbing temple, Serenity sits back into her crystal throne and squeezes her eyes shut in frustration.

"They are already using the name," Jupiter quietly supplies.

Serenity tries not to frown even more. Despite her best efforts, the name used by their enemy in another lifetime is catching on. She wanted things to be different this time.

"The … Crystal Tokyo dissidents want to leave for the outskirts," she hears Endymion say now, continuing Mars’ report. Serenity opens her eyes but does not meet her husband’s uneasy gaze. He took heed to not use the moniker, but something about the way he is tiptoeing cautiously around her is upsetting. She looks at him then, and sees his lips tighten with remorse.

"They seek to move as far away from the Silver Crystal’s powers as possible," Endymion finishes, putting his digital tablet away. Serenity glances at his now dark screen. She should be more upset about her subjects being so opposed to her powers, but she finds herself wondering instead what else her husband has on there about "the outskirts."

"I can corroborate the King's assessment from data gathered on the dark web, your majesty," Mercury chimes in from the other side of the table, bringing Serenity's attention back to present matters. “Our comms team has been tracking forums discussing attempted illegal crossings to Pluto, even as far as Nemesis,” Mercury reports somberly. “No one seems to have succeeded so far, but we cannot be too cautious.” 

Silence descends upon them.

" … Perhaps we really cannot prevent history from moving towards its predestined end.”

“Don’t say that, Mars!”

“Thank you, V,” Serenity promptly agrees with her senshi captain.

"This is why I insist we lead an expedition to Nemesis. To destroy the Malefic Black Crystal once and for all.” Before it can feed on the growing resentment among her people. Before it can revive Chaos. She wants to know a different future is possible.

“I agree." 

Serenity raises her eyebrow at Endymion's surprising concession, but quickly frowns when he volunteers to go with Mars, the inner senshi with the strongest psychic defenses, to Pluto. The implication is clear.

"But I should go," Serenity presses.

Endymion shakes his head. “We do not know how powerful the Black Crystal is right now.”

“That is why I must, before it becomes more powerful.”

“We will feel safer if you let us go ahead first, too, Queen,” Mars insists quietly.

Serenity's grip tightens on her moon rod. She takes a deep breath, willing her turbulent personal feelings away, but her shaking hand would not let her forget that they are right to worry about her. " … I ask that you send updates regularly then, so I can decide when to be there myself."

The displeasure in her surrender does not escape Endymion's notice. He attempts at a compromise. “If it comes down to it, I will be there with you.” 

Serenity thanks him, but reminds him coldly that if she were to actually go destroy the Black Crystal, he should return to the capital. "It is unwise for the monarch and her king consort to both be off-planet in this fragile state of peace, especially when Lady Serenity is not ready."

The icy atmosphere between them could freeze the room.

“If only we had more allies,” Venus sighs exaggeratedly. Mercury coughs. Mars hisses at Venus, while Jupiter waves her arms wildly from across the table, telling her to shut up. 

The royal couple look at each other and their four inner senshi, confused. “How do you mean?” As far as they are concerned, Crystal Tokyo has no allies, not when the entire solar system is technically under its rule.

“Nothing, your highness,” Mercury deflects quickly, attempting to move to the next item on their agenda. "Speaking of Lady Serenity—” 

“It is too soon.” The King shuts it down immediately.

Serenity eyes her senshi with suspicion, but agrees to move along; it took a lot of effort to bring this next topic to the council. "Our daughter has lived nearly a millennium, Endymion.”

“But she is physically less than ten years old.”

“And she may stay that way,” Serenity responds firmly, “if she does not awaken as a senshi.”

“I must say … we do not know that with certainty,” Mercury points out with caution. 

“But how about the Amazoness Quartet?” Jupiter asks. 

“What about them?” Endymion sighs. 

“They recently became sailor senshi upon their awakening,” Mars reminds him. “And they look significantly older than before.” If they had looked like sixth graders, they now look like they are in high school. Venus snickers. “They certainly behave that way. I caught Ceres with the palace guards the other–mmmph!” Jupiter covers her mouth a second too late. Endymion’s eyes go wide, Mercury coughs, while Mars admonishes Venus for having the king imagine his only child doing grown up things. 

Serenity clears her throat, cheeks slightly flushed as well. “My point is–! It was around now when Chibiusa left for the 20th century, into our timeline.” Everyone quiets down, remembering the pink-haired girl who had suddenly arrived from a time traveling portal, all those centuries ago. “So our Small Lady should be ready to start her training as well.”

“In case you forgot," Endymion reminds her softly. "Chibiusa-chan was mortified.”

“Because she was un-trained,” Serenity retorts with a snap. “She was not prepared for what was to come. With how things are tensing up lately with the Black Moon clan, there is no better time to start than now. We may be immortal, but we are not indestructible. You said it yourself, Endymion. I may collapse one day. We need a new Sailor Moon.”

Serenity knows that she had let slip with using the Black Moon moniker, but she stays firm in her stance. She refuses to see her unhappy subjects as an identified enemy, but they remain a risk that she cannot overlook, not when she suspects that Chaos has awoken again.

“ … Fine," Endymion concedes reluctantly. "But it will be done in the safety of Elysion, and always with the Sailor Quartet, never alone.”

“That will do.” Serenity does not want to fight anymore. 

*

“Venus,” she calls for her senshi leader after adjourning the council meeting. 

Seeing the Queen's eyes trail after her husband, Venus rushes to provide comfort. "He won't be away for long, your highness. Mars will be with him, too."  

Serenity waves off her concern. "Thank you, V, but I am fine." She knows that she sounds anything but. Still, there are more important matters at hand than her marriage life. "That is not what I wish to discuss with you." She eyes Venus meaningfully. 

"Oh," the senshi captain pales, realizing what Serenity has gathered. 

“So? What allies do you speak of?”

Venus twiddles her thumbs, slightly regretting her earlier indiscretion. It wasn’t entirely a slip of tongue, however. She glances at the other senshi, who are looking on with concern from across the hall. Serenity turns around just in time to see them hide behind the marble columns at the exit. 

"Mercury," she calls, knowing that her communication and technology officer is most likely to provide straight facts. 

The blue-haired senshi comes forward. "Your majesty, we … received a message from Kinmokusei." Mercury hesitantly projects the text to the council room monitor for the group to see.

Serenity thinks that she has misheard until she sees the name of the planet on their screen. She momentarily forgets to breathe. “ ... When did we receive this?"

“Yesterday, but from context, it appears to have been sent … "

"Yes?"

"A millennium ago,” Mars finishes for Mercury, who paused out of concern for the implications for all that time passed, but Mars is not one to mince words. "The surviving senshi are unlikely to be those we know from before, but they are still potential allies. After all, we had helped save their sovereign back then."

Serenity does not speak for a long time.

“May I keep this?” She finally says.

The sailor guardians look at each other with worry. They do not object, however, when Serenity excuses herself.

“I told you she would be upset,” Mars sighs, nudging V as they watch the queen step away.

The blonde senshi captain nods quietly.

*

Serenity can only let herself examine the emotions coursing through her after she retires to her private quarters. Pastel in tone and covered in soft cushioned surfaces, the room remains crystalline in architecture, like the rest of the palace, but captures hints of her teenage years aesthetics. There is comfort in that. It is also the only room facing the secluded rose garden of the palace grounds, which provides her with relief from her busy public life, but also recently a profound loneliness.

Endymion may be waiting for her return to their chambers to hash things out, but Serenity is tired of arguing over the same issues with him, over and over again. Their star seeds work in tandem to sustain Crystal Tokyo, and yet her soul feels in opposition to his. As their royal positions took shape over the centuries, a seemingly infinite distance has grown between them. She needs space, and yet it is all that she knows now in their relationship.

Serenity feels her star seed falter and wonders if she would have a next life, after having lived so long. 

Does my soul reincarnate when I am gone? 

Or will my child inherit it, along with the Silver Crystal, along with my legacy?

What would be a legacy that she wouldn't regret?

Serenity hesitantly taps on her moon rod. The letter appears again, now projected on her wall.

She reads it slowly.

Savors every word.

It begins with “Dear Sailor Moon” and speaks of how Kakyuu and the Starlights returned safely to Kinmokusei. That they are able to rebuild their community thanks to the solar system senshi. It prays that the message will reach the right timeline, and though the letter bears the official tone of a royal court, the last line lets Serenity know who really wrote the short but bittersweet letter across space-time. 

“ … We will fight for you in this life and the next. Always.”

She cannot even say his name.

A millennium of longing. 

An artifact of a love long gone. 

She thinks to write back, but who would be there to receive it? Even if he were alive, he would not recognize her anymore. Tired, distant, and regal with responsibilities that she continues to shoulder beyond any living human could, Serenity cannot remember the girl she once was. Tsukino Usagi. The cry baby whose only ambition in life was to become a bride, to have a happy family with children to love and to hold. And yet now, she has agreed to let her only child go away to Elysion, far away from her in the core of the Earth, while her husband is going to be off planet, spending time with a woman she senses that he still has feelings for. Nothing seems wrong, but everything is.

How did it become this way?

Serenity sits down on the cushioned ledge of her moonlit balcony, her pearl white lacy dress spilling over the railings. Staring at the soft and hazy quarter moon, she is filled with sadness.

“I did not wish for this,” she says again, this time to no one.

Immortality means living eternally with your decisions, and she has lived a thousand times over. Sometimes, just sometimes, Serenity wants it all to be over. 

But would I know you in my next life? 

Would I remember you?

As she stares at the letter on her wall, Serenity is filled with fearful hope. Unconsciously, she touches her earrings - a heavy set of pearl studs, with delicate, dangling gold, and silver crescent moons that hang at their tips. If you looked closely enough, you’d see where the crescents were welded onto the rest of the jewelry. A memento from the shooting star that she once held so dear.

Sometimes, she feels him graze against her neckline. A dream. A memory.

So little of him left here, but she still could not let him go. 

Chapter Text

The Space-Time Door exists in its own realm.

Only reachable by a portal somewhere unmarked in the Crystal Palace, Princess Lady Serenity wasn't meant to know how to access it. Not when she is still a child. 

Looks can be deceiving though.

With her tiny stature, pink pigtails, and oversized hair buns, you would not guess that the princess has lived hundreds of years. Thus is the life of a child who has grown up under the silver crystal’s influence in the capital of Crystal Tokyo. Perpetual childhood leaves her feeling restless, and the royal princess is inquisitive, and stubbornly methodical to boot.

In the last century or so, she has had more than enough time to try every door, follow every senshi, and test every possible hidden contraption in the Crystal Palace, until she inevitably stumbled upon the one passage that would take her to the doorway guarded by Sailor Pluto, her new best friend. 

“Puu!”

“My lady,” the Guardian of Time sighs with only half-hearted disapproval, as the princess arrives through the portal. “It is not wise for the future monarch to skip trainings so regularly.” 

Lady Serenity pouts. “I am not skipping regularly, just occasionally. Do you not enjoy my company, Puu? Am I bothering you?”

Pluto tries not to smile. It is hard to be firm with the princess when she uses that petulant tone. Lady Serenity's slight haughtiness masks a deeply seated insecurity that pulls at Pluto's heartstrings. It makes the tall guardian want to lean down to the child's eye level, and speak heart to heart. Pluto gets down on one knee.

“Of course I do, Small Lady. You can never bother me.” 

The princess smiles, pulling Pluto into a tight hug. “You promise?” She asks breathlessly, her fingers tangled in the senshi's long hair. 

In these moments, Pluto recognizes the Chibiusa that she knew in her civilian years as Meioh Setsuna. The Chibiusa who traveled back to 20th century Tokyo had to learn to defend herself alone, in a world where the Black Moon clan had destroyed her home. This princess, however, is already in senshi training with her own sailor guardians. She has never had to face the Black Moon clan, and - if Pluto is doing her job right - she may never will. 

At that thought, Pluto allows herself to hug Small Lady back. Past and future timelines blend together into a destiny that feels comfortably familiar. There is a predictability here that makes Pluto's heart sing, though Pluto will not show it. She lets go and bows curtly before standing up again, back onto her feet.

Small Lady giggles, curtseying in return. “So formal.”

Pluto nods. “It is only appropriate,” she notes, though she lets slip a smile that feels like she is sharing a secret, rather than giving the princess a tongue-wagging. 

Most days, Pluto’s heart is full just knowing that the princess did not get erased from their timeline forever. The fight with Shadow Galactica still haunts her. You are here, that's all that matters.

“You should be in Elysion though,” Pluto reminds the princess. “The Sailor Quartet would be looking for you.”

Hearing this, Lady Serenity huffs, like she is offended. “But I'm here for an important matter on intergalactic diplomacy. My sailor guardians are not equipped with the answers as you would be, Puu.”

Pluto's interest is piqued. 

“Promise not to tell anyone though,” the pink haired princess warns, even as she is evidently bursting to share the news. Pluto has barely nodded when Lady Serenity continues, “So, this morning, Ceres was back at the Crystal Palace—” 

Pluto raises a wary eyebrow. “Your highness, the inner senshi must've warned you—”

Serenity waves her off immediately. “To only use my sailor guardian decoy in emergencies, yes! I'm only telling you because I trust you!!”

Pluto chews on her inner cheek, debating the ethics of keeping the princess’ trust versus that of the Queen herself. She should disapprove of Lady Serenity’s evident lack of discretion. Yet, how could she deny the sweet child’s desire for confidence, for friendship? Pluto reciprocates the desire, deeply. She nods in the end. The princess sighs in relief and thanks her.

“Alright, so, like I said, Ceres. She overheard V and Mercury talking to Mother on her way out, and it was about a message they received this morning. She said they were unusually tense—”

“That is understandable.” 

Small Lady looks up in surprise. “You know about the reply from Kinmokusei?” And here she thought she had the first scoop!

Pluto nods again. Of course, Mercury had sent the outer senshi a heads up, soon after the message came in. She vividly recalls learning about the first message that came from Kinmokusei, too, when the Queen had announced that she would reply and warn the faraway star of a possible Chaos revival.

It was a controversial decision at the time, with loud opposition from Neptune and Uranus in particular, but the court conceded in the end to the Queen's decision. 

That was six years ago already.

Pluto remembers exactly when. For it was around the time when Neo King Endymion and Sailor Mars first arrived together on Pluto's planet, to investigate Nemesis. So much has changed since in the solar system. Pluto lowers her gaze at the thought.

"Most had assumed that we would not hear back from Kinmokusei," she shares. "Afterall, the first message took a millennium." But the Queen did not give up. “She believed we would reach them." 

And the Queen was right. It took six years. Three in each direction. Every word in those letters is precious.

“Why is Mother worried though?” Small Lady asks, more cautiously. “Is it not ... good news that an ally from the past is sending a convoy? To help fight Chaos, and build diplomatic ties across galaxies?” 

Pluto hears the self-doubt underlying the princess’ curiosity. There is self-awareness that one day she, too, will be expected to make important judgement calls as head of state. There is also a childlike wonder in Small Lady's eyes, from having never met anyone from other star systems. The anticipation for new experiences. The princess has long heard of the legends of the Shadow Galactic war, in which sailor senshi fought against each other under the influence of Chaos. It is a cautionary tale that also gives hope in the form of the Sailor Star Lights - foreign stars who protected Sailor Moon in the absence of her comrades. 

Love will conquer darkness.

Small Lady's innocence and belief in this important lesson from the war make Pluto’s heart swell, just as much as they resurface Pluto's long buried feelings of guilt for the part she played back then. Her hand unconsciously reaches for a stray strand of pink hair that is out of place on the princess’ head. Pluto strokes it gently back in place.

“Yes, this convoy is … important to her majesty,” she says absently, her mind momentarily lost in the past. She catches herself though, and turns her gaze to her precious young friend, who is now blushing. You are here. “It is wise for us to be cautious.” You are what matters. 

Small Lady nods slowly, sharing that she has heard that the Kinmokusei convoy is estimated to be about a year away. Their arrival is imminent. 

“We should support her royal highness with everything we can,” Pluto advises with kind eyes, watching Lady Serenity's face light up at her inclusion in Pluto's dutiful expectations. “You will play a role too, as future monarch.”

“I will not disappoint,” the princess puffs her chest out proudly. Pluto smiles back.

“Pluto?” A familiar voice comes through the sailor senshi intercom. 

“—oh no, it's Mother!” Small Lady squeaks, before covering her mouth with both hands. Just in time, as Pluto has to answer the voice call promptly. 

“Yes, my Queen,” she says, while eyeing the anxious princess.

The queen gives no sign that she had noticed the presence of another voice near Pluto. She points out that Mercury is on the call as well. “I have a small request for you both. It's related to Lady Serenity.”

Small Lady stiffens next to Pluto, who places a comforting hand on the princess’ shoulder. Neo Queen Serenity explains that she wishes to create a long distance communication device for Small Lady and the Quartets. 

“Guardian Diana can only follow around her princess so much.”

“Certainly, your majesty,” Pluto answers, as the queen finishes outlining her request to the two senshi on the call. “I will coordinate with Mercury.” 

“Thank you, both of you.”

The call ends as abruptly as it started.

Pluto looks up to find Lady Serenity looking deflated. She gently pats the child on her shoulders.

“ ... Mother doesn't have high hopes for my training,” the young senshi-in-training finally says, sadly. It is only an assumption, but Small Lady has been at it for years, and her powers have remained at the trainee level. “I cannot even call for the silver crystal consistently. It looks so natural when Mother does it. Why is that? Why can't I do it right?”

Pluto worries that the princess is spending too much energy comparing herself to the most powerful being in their galaxy. The sailor guardian shakes her head empathetically at her royal highness' lack of confidence.

“Your pace is reasonable, princess. You have lived your life mostly in peace, thanks to your parents keeping Chaos in check.”

Becoming a sailor senshi is a calling, often necessitated only under a crisis.

“It is a blessing to be able to take your time," Pluto adds, caressing the child's wavy hair. She notes that Lady Serenity has, actually, grown in height since she started her training. She is starting to look more like a preteen as well. It will not surprise anyone if she suddenly had her growth spurt finally. The trigger simply remains unpredictable. Pluto sighs, knowing that the child's training is a continuing source of tension in the royal family. 

“You should be proud of yourself, my lady," Pluto concludes with comfort. "The Queen must know too that you are fiercely independent. It must be why she made the request just now.”

The tiny princess' frown turns into a shy smile as she takes in her older friend's encouragement. “You always make me feel better, Puu.”

Ah, beautiful child. A warmth spreads through Pluto's heart. “And you, me,” she admits, gently taking Lady Serenity's hand.

They walk to the portal that leads to the Crystal Palace in silence, each enjoying the other's quiet company.

“I don't like how you're here alone, Puu,” Lady Serenity says after a while. “Don't you get lonely?” 

Pluto is often surprised in these small moments, when Lady Serenity vividly reminds her of the King—in this instance, it is the question that he had asked her, back when they were both civilians.

"I find it hard to believe that you really want to go back to being the solitary Guardian of Time. ... Is that what you want?”

Pluto smiles with regal pride, even as she feels a lump grow in her throat at the ancient memory. She reminds the princess that this is her duty. “I am proud of my station.”

Lady Serenity looks at her feet as their footsteps fall in sync. “ ... I wish you would miss me though.”

Pluto squeezes the sweet child's hand tightly. 

“I do.” 

All the time.

Chapter Text

At the portal to the Crystal Palace, Sailor Pluto and Princess Lady Serenity see an unexpected pair arguing.

“Respectfully, sir. You’ve been away for months already.” 

“I am aware, Mars,” Neo King Endymion answers mildly. His back is turned to Small Lady and Pluto, but they can tell from his tone that he has heard it all before.

Sailor Mars does not let up. “Then surely you’d understand our concern for the delicate balance between the silver crystal and your gold—"

"Yet I am needed elsewhere,” the king interrupts, turning around to meet his daughter’s longing but contrite gaze. Sailor Mars pauses her retort when she, too, notices that they have company.

“Papa.” Small Lady curtsies, slightly intimidated by her father's sixth sense. The King gives his daughter a stern nod, and greets Pluto with equal restraint, thanking the senshi for keeping his daughter safe. "Mars can take her from here," he says. 

Small Lady's heart sinks. Her father is handing her off from one senshi to another, without even pausing to check in on her.

Surely he must disapprove of her playing hooky from her senshi training?

Surely he has questions about why she is with the solitary outer senshi?

Small Lady has not seen her father in so long. It hurts that he does not seem to miss her. Silently, she refuses to move from Pluto’s side.

"Your majesty can return to Earth with us," Mars suggests gently, bending down to Small Lady’s eye level. The princess lowers her gaze.

"Mars," Endymion warns, like he is tired.

"We could stop by Crystal Tokyo before heading to Elysion," Mars notes with feigned innocence. 

"You know I am on my way to look into the recent rumors on the Malefic Black Crystal."

"Baseless rumors," Mars corrects the King.

“Be as it may," the king sighs. "It is concerning that there are people who believe that it'd counter the Silver Crystal's power of immortality.”

"But trespassing on Nemesis is strictly forbidden," Mars counters in quiet exasperation. It is not like any Earthling can cross over to investigate.

Endymion gives Sailor Pluto a meaningful glance then. "I remain responsible for those who seek to be close to it, regardless."

Small Lady looks up at her friend, whose gaze falters at the King’s words. For some reason, it feels as though her father is insinuating that Pluto is at fault for the large influx of immigrants from Earth to her moons, which are the farthest habitable celestial bodies in the solar system, and thus closest to Nemesis. The young princess feels protective of her friend. Quietly, she steps in front of Pluto as the King and Mars continue to argue. Pluto notices. She shakes her head at the princess with a kind smile.

"Your majesty," the outer senshi speaks up finally. "If I may provide counsel on this matter."

The King turns to Pluto, like he had been waiting for the tall, reticent senshi's input. He gives a nod of approval.

“We cannot deny that there are those who migrate to Charon and Hydra with dissent in their hearts," Pluto begins. "Recent polling suggests, however, that many more come from impoverished backgrounds," she reports. "They are simply desperate to start afresh in a new land." Lady Serenity listens in wonder as Pluto elaborates on socio-political matters that she did not think her friend would be aware of from her isolated post at the Space-Time Door. The King, too, listens intently, nodding here and there in acknowledgement. 

"That is likely why your welfare programs on Charon have been remarkably popular, your majesty," Pluto shares earnestly. "They are giving people the tools they need to set up a new home."

Mars nods along to her fellow senshi's analysis. "I hear that the education program on the Value of Time has been receiving rave reviews," Mars adds helpfully. "That was brilliant advice on your part, Pluto."

"Mm, indeed," the King chimes in thoughtfully. Many Earthlings grew listless and self-destructive over the millennia due to their loss of appreciation for the passing years that do not age them. "We can all learn about the value of prudence from the Guardian of Time."

Small Lady notices a slight blush on her friend's cheeks at the compliments.

“I–hope all of these developments can put your mind at ease, your highness,” Pluto says with her gaze lowered. “So you can be at the Queen's side.” 

Small Lady finds the unfamiliar bashfulness in her friend’s demeanor endearing. She worries, however, at the sadness underlying the warmth in Pluto's words - a sadness that Small Lady cannot place.

“ … Will you reconsider my proposal, Pluto?”

Small Lady notices her friend tensing up at the King’s question, like she is uncertain how to reply.

Pluto takes a deep breath and slowly turns to look at the princess instead.

“My answer remains the same, your majesty.” 

Somehow, it feels as though Pluto is making her a promise. A promise that Small Lady does not understand. Endymion does not respond either. He stands as if waiting for Pluto to change her mind. The tall, graceful senshi turns her gaze back to the King with equal resolution. Something unspoken passes between them, like a silent disagreement that they have been having since time forgotten. Small Lady fidgets uncomfortably.

“Don't be mad at Puu, papa,” she finally speaks.

Pluto inhales sharply. “My dear princess,” she begins, closing in on the child to quell her worries. “There is no need to concern yourself with this!”

“But–” 

The King, too, crowds in with affection. “I am not mad, dear,” he reassures. “We are talking through … options.” He remains vague as he softly ruffles his daughter's wavy pigtails. “To imagine different futures, you see.” He looks up at Sailor Pluto then, their eyes meeting above the princess’ short stature. Small Lady is not sure if she should believe her father, when Pluto looks so uncharacteristically flustered by his words. 

“Mars,” the King calls, his eyes still remaining on the senshi before him. “Will you please escot my daughter back to her sailor guardians? I'd like to speak with Pluto, privately.”

Small Lady jolts as the outer senshi's grip tightens on her hand, briefly, before letting her go. It makes the princess feel anxious in a way that she cannot put into words. “But,” she interjects, tugging at her father’s sleeve on impulse. “Couldn't you take me back to Elysion, please?”

There is instantly a look of pity and disappointment in the King's eyes.

"Would you rather go home, child?" 

Lady Serenity freezes. She yearns to say yes, that she would love to return to her mama with him, but knows that voicing her true desires would make her sound even more petulant. She has crossed many lines today.

“No,” she answers in the end, her shoulders hanging in defeat as she lets go. “I'll work hard, papa. I promise.”

*

“Why does papa treat Puu differently?”

Small Lady voices her burning question for Sailor Mars, once they are far out of her father’s earshot. 

Mars clears her throat loudly. “Wh–why do you ask?”

Small Lady tilts her head. Despite her years of training, she still feels like she is misunderstanding something about the senshi when seeing them in action. “Well, isn't papa in charge of sailor guardian welfare?” she prods. “He says our wellbeing is important. That we should avoid solo missions, but - Puu has been alone all this time.” 

Mars sighs in apparent relief, which frustrates Small Lady. The Martian senshi even chuckles a little, like she finds the princess’ concern funny. “This is no laughing matter, Mars!” Small Lady pouts. “Puu is the only senshi who is supposed to permanently stay at her post! I don’t think I have ever seen her visit Crystal Tokyo either. Still, she gets blamed for the Black Moon clan amassing support. How is that fair?”

“I’m sorry, princess,” Mars shakes her head, apologizing as she stifles her inappropriate laughter. “It’s just–the King doesn't blame Pluto at all. He feels responsible, though.” Mars pauses, considering her words. “And, there are no rules against Sailor Pluto visiting the Crystal Palace either, but … ” 

Small Lady's understanding of the situation cannot be farther from the truth.

Still, some stories are not Mars’ to tell. She switches topics subtly. “You see, when we established the colony on Charon, the King made sure the city governor would report to Pluto. He received her counsel, too, when he was looking to establish a defensive fort on Hydra. She is very much involved, even while maintaining her post at the Space-Time Door.” 

Small Lady nods along, accepting Mars’ explanation based on everything else she has learned today. “What was papa's proposal about then? Is it a secret mission?! You were talking about papa and mama's crystals too. Is it related?”

Her enthusiasm flusters Mars. “N-no, but that is a private matter between your parents! I should not have spoken about it in front of you, or Pluto.” Mars looks away, regretting her indiscretion. 

Small Lady does not understand. “All the more reason I should know! I'm their daughter, am I not?” She puffs her cheeks out angrily, but deflates soon after. “ … Is it because I still cannot wield the silver crystal properly?”

“No!” Mars exclaims, turning back to look at the princess directly in the eye. “Dear, no. You are not the cause of your parents’ struggles with making their crystals work together. Do not for one second think that, okay?”

Small Lady lowers her gaze. “But aren't their crystals intertwined because they had me?”

That is what her parents had always told her, when she was growing up. It was such a source of love and pride for her. Now, Small Lady wonders if their love is weakened by her inability to grow. Mars wipes away the tears brimming from the princess’ eyes.

“They love you and each other, Small Lady,” Mars soothes. “Nothing will change that.”

It is so hard to believe that, when Small Lady has not seen her parents together in so, so long. The thought of them growing distant scares the princess to tears. She does not want to be seen as a cry baby though. It does not help her grow up faster. Lady Serenity tries to put on her bravest voice instead, focusing on her original question.

“So, what does papa want with Puu?”

Mars hesitates, but determines in the end that there is no harm in the princess knowing the official reason. “The King, he,” she takes a deep breath. “He is offering Pluto a path to step away from the Space-Time Door.”

Small Lady perks up with hope. “Oh?”

Mars notes with caution that Pluto's time-seeing abilities are uniquely useful with guiding those who are struggling to find meaning in a life without death. "She is the senshi most suitable to take on this new reality that we live in, to properly provide the king and the Charon governor with her counsel."

Perhaps, the King would then return to Earth more often, Mars thinks, but does not say it out loud, because what if he doubles down on his need to stay on Pluto? Mars does not want to give the lonely princess false hope.

“Puu does not want to step away from her duties though,” Small Lady notes, understanding the situation a little better now.

“I wouldn't say that she doesn't want to,” Mars notes, with a faraway look in her eyes. “It is just hard for her to imagine what life could be like, if she does choose to take the King’s offer.” 

To live among others. To not be alone. To imagine a different future.

“So … papa is trying to make Puu less lonely?”

Mars inhales at Small Lady’s question. “Yes,” she turns to look at the precocious yet still so innocent child, who looks hopeful for her new best friend. “Yes, and so are you.”

Small Lady blushes then.

*

“She's back!” 

As soon as Mars drops Small Lady off in the Elysion training grounds, they hear Ceres call out to the rest of the Sailor Quartet.

“Went to share Ceres’ palace intel with your other mama again?” Vesta chuckles as she lands next to the princess, but well out of Sailor Mars’ earshot. 

Lady Serenity pouts, murmuring as she waves Mars goodbye. “Shush, Puu is my friend! I only have one mama.”

Juno snickers, leaning into the princess's face. “Well, she is also a friend of your papa's. Isn't she?”

Pallas pokes her head out from behind her large exercise ball. “Like a special friend?” 

“That's what I hear the palace guards say,” Ceres answers in her dainty tone.

Vesta snorts. “How scandalous.”

“Stop it!” Small Lady fumes at their insolence. “I forbid you from insulting papa and Puu. The guards, too - I demand to know their names!”

The Sailor Quartet chuckle in unison, taunting her as they fly away to the training equipment hanging in the air. Small Lady whines that it is not fair. She is still not good at mid-air maneuvers. The Quartet is always messing with her. 

“You are supposed to be my aides!”

They laugh even louder.

Small Lady hates feeling so useless. She hates being teased like this, and hates the way they disrespect her best friend, her parents. 

“You're all so mean …”

She gives up on chasing after them. Small Lady stomps off instead towards the nearby Elysion shrine, where she knows she will be able to find a moment of peace. There is rarely anyone there. 

*

Sitting down cross-legged at the edge of the shrine’s courtyard, Lady Serenity gradually calms down. There is an almost eerie quietness here, a spiritual purity that urges her to self reflect. She watches the bubbling holy spring water rising from the core of the Earth, trying to sort through what she has learned today about the senshi, Pluto, and her father. 

She refuses to entertain the Sailor Quartet’s scandalous accusations, but admits that everything about her father’s interactions with Pluto felt unfamiliar. 

Small Lady has never witnessed her father give so much space to a senshi to make decisions. He is usually more directive in his approach. She has also never seen Pluto so … shy, and at the same time, so vibrant, while talking about her subjects of interest.

She wonders if her father and Pluto could be better friends.

She hopes they will be. 

Perhaps then Pluto can be invited to the quarterly senshi meetings at the Crystal Palace, and Small Lady can see her in an official capacity more often.

Looking up from her thoughts, Small Lady is surprised to see a creature standing in the middle of the courtyard. 

A winged horse, or rather, a unicorn. Pegasus. The legendary guardian of Elysion. The princess quickly hides behind the closest stone pillar. She has never seen the mythical beast before, and nearly yelps when it turns into a boy, as soon as it steps into the holy spring.

He only looks slightly older than her. 

The princess stares in awe as the young priest kneels to pray. His soft white curls move with the rising wind around him. His beautiful brows remain furrowed in concentration, long after the air settles. When he stands and turns his eyes to her, Lady Serenity instinctively straightens herself too.

“What did you pray for?” She asks quietly, stepping out into the open.

The priest speaks just as softly, his golden eyes sparkling in the sun. “For peace, my lady. For the silver and golden crystals to find balance.”

The way he addresses her so elegantly makes Lady Serenity’s heart flutter. Her chest tightens, too, at the mentioning of her parents, as well as her own star seed.

“Do they not have it now?” She asks.

Everyone seems worried these days about her mother’s health, and her father overworking, too, but would not tell her anything of importance.

“Peace is a temporary state,” the priest answers slowly. When did he move closer? Small Lady doesn't know, but he is now gazing down at her, nearly standing toe to toe. “To maintain it takes effort. Peace is Change, as much as it is Constant.” 

Small Lady feels the truth in his enigmatic words, and it scares her.

“What if we lose it?”

What if I'm not good enough to take on my parents’ responsibilities?

He takes her hands in his. Small Lady gasps softly at the touch of his hands. “Then pray,” the priest says, holding her hands together between his palms. “Still your heart, and you will find the will within you.”

His hands are so warm.

“What is your name?” Small Lady asks, breathless as she gets lost in his pale amber eyes.

The priest smiles then. A beautiful, devastating smile. 

“Helios, my lady. At your service.”