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Chapter Text

Chapter 01 

 Baz

I can't believe I agreed with this shit. I can't believe I let my father put me in the middle of this freak show. But there's nothing I can do now, so I keep my smile on and pretend to be happy, anxious even, while my father and his counsellors pick thirty-five names.

I always knew that as the heir Prince of Watford, I would have to do things I wouldn't like, but I didn't expect it would be so soon. Since my mother died, years ago, my father says that I am the future of the House Pitch and Watford and because of that, I must rule the kingdom someday and produce an heir, to keep our legacy. 

Of course the last part he used to say over and over to me. Maybe he thought that if I have heard it enough, I would stop being gay and would find it appealing to marrying a woman. I suppose that is also why, only two months after my 18º birthday, he and his counsellors made me agree to find a bride, who I shall marry soon, so I can start producing the heirs.

Until days before my birthday, I kept agreeing with my father over this, but only because I thought I was buying more time for me to come with a solution. Because I thought that eventually I would be allowed to be who I am, no matter my titles. I thought I was being smart, playing my father until someday he would have no choice but to agree with me, to give up on making me someone I’m not.

But, my father was smarter than I thought. He probably knew that I was never serious in my words about marrying a girl. 

My father is the consort king, my mother was the one with royal blood, and since she died, he tries to prove himself to everyone. Especially the old counsellors that worked for the crown. And that’s why he set up this whole situation, using the rebellion and the rebels to make me agree with him. 

Despite loving my parents, especially my mother, I recognise that not all their politics are right. And many times they forget the poor and prioritise the riches. Because of that, some years ago, before my mother’s death (ten years ago), a group of rebels started to reunite and act against the crown. 

The man who leads them is called ‘The Mage’, only people inside know his real identity. The only thing we know is that in the last years, they tried to take us out of the throne. It was also why they killed my mother, the queen. People say that it was on that night that the rebellion really started. And they try to convince people around the kingdom that they are doing these things for all of them, for the greater good. But I don’t believe it.

We don’t know who the rebels are, but we know that they are spread between them, the people, and they are increasing, even more, the tensions between us. And that’s why my father’s idea is a bit logical, and it would be good under other circumstances or involving other people.

Years ago, the crown used to make a competition called ‘The Selection’. In this competition, thirty-five girls would be chosen between the people, and they would be brought to the castle. The heir prince would live with these girls and know them better. With time the prince would send some girls home until only one was left. This one would marry the prince and become a princess, and later the queen.  

‘The Selection’ was something usual years ago, and my father brought it back. He said that with this, the people would see that we see them as equal. That even a poor and simple girl could become a queen. All the counsellors agreed with him, and I could do nothing else. They thought that this would make the people calmer, and it was always good to ensure the future of the kingdom with a marriage. 

They choose the names in front of me, and I have to pretend to like that. And even that was a political scheme because some names they just took randomly (like it should be), but most of it, it was by a political choice, girls who came from families that support us completely, or that still have their loyalty in doubt. It was also a chance to take girls of families that were against us, and use them as hostages. To remember them who was in charge here.

And I hate to be a part of this. 

I hate to be used as the face of this show, to be a pawn in their hands. 

But I know, I’ll have to keep up with this, at least until I’m the king. 

“And with that one, we have our thirty-five girls.” Lord Edwards, one of the oldest counsellors, says when they choose the last. 

“Great,” my father says. “Let's leave everything organised, so this night we can call the families, as soon as we start this better. People will like to see that we are receiving all kinds of girls here.” The men only nod to him, and some leave the room with the files in their hands. The official announcement would happen tonight.

“You should look happier, my prince,” Edwards says when he looks at me. “I’m sure that between those lovely girls, you’ll find one to be your queen.” I force a smile and see that my father is looking with more attention to me. 

“I know I will.” He makes a reverence to me and leaves the room. “If you don’t need me for anything else, I’ll be going,” I say to my father, making a reverence myself and turning my back to him.

“Basilton.” He calls, making me stop.

“Yes, father?” I turn to him, but he’s already by my side.

“You will choose any one of the girls, make an heir and ensure our lineage. After that, you can do whatever you want in your private life.” His cheeks blush at his last words. I think this was the closest in all these years he came to acknowledge my sexuality. I take a deep breath before answering.

“Don’t worry father, I will finish what you started,” the idea was his after all. “and will ensure my lineage.” My father can say what he wants, but he’s not a Pitch. I walked away before he could answer and leave the room.

I walk, nervously, to the library, my favourite place in the castle. 

I take a random book and sit close to the fireplace in the corner. The place was huge, so I usually sit in hidden places to escape from everyone else. 

My head hurts when I try to read the book, and I know that if I close my eyes, I’ll start crying again. I try to swallow the tears before it falls on my face, but that only makes my head hurt more. I’d go back to my room and cry at peace, but I wanted to hide from people, and there would be the first place they’d look for me. 

I thought I already had cried everything I had in the past days when my father told me their decision about The Selection. When I woke up this morning, I thought I was better. I thought I had accepted that and moved on, but I was wrong.

Seeing those men choosing my future and making me do something I don’t want, made my stomach flinch, and my tears come back again. 

I never was very romantic. And I always knew that as the prince, love wouldn't matter. Everything is politics.

And once I realised I was attracted to other boys, I understood I would never have what I wanted.

But as the years passed, I still hoped to find someone who would love me. I hoped that the rules would have changed and I would be able to marry for love, with a man, and not just as a strategic move. 

My mother loved my father. I don’t know why, honestly, but she did. And he loved her. I used to hear her stories when I was a child, of how they fell in love. How a poor boy conquered the heart of the heir princess and became a king beside her. 

And I wanted that love. I longed for that so much. 

I wanted a love story. I still do.

Reality is terrible. I want to crawl back to my bed and go back to sleep. To dream about things I wouldn't get in my life, not for real. 

But I couldn't. I had to prepare myself, to keep this show moving, and pretend to be the perfect prince to everyone. 

I had to forget these ideas. They weren't for someone like me. 

I am the heir prince, the future king of Watford. 

I couldn't keep dreaming and crying over lost hopes and loves. 

Simon

I've been waiting for almost two hours, and I contain myself from crossing my arms and huffing loudly. I hate waiting, especially when they told me it was urgent, and I almost ran to get here stopping everything I was doing.

But I don't want to disrespect anyone or look ungrateful. These people took me out of the streets years ago, when I was a child. So, I think the least I can do is to be a bit more patient. 

The Mummers, as they call themselves, are a group of people who don't agree with the polítics of the crown and claim for our rights. I don't exactly know what they do, but for what they told me, they fight for our rights. Fight for what is right, not using extreme ways as the noble do. 

For the stories I already heard, they're awful people. Like evil people, they lie and kill anyone who says a word against them. They have the blood of innocents in their hands. And they don't want us to do anything about it. 

There are other groups, who also fight against the royals, but the most known are the rebels. They are extremists and don't care about the deaths they leave behind. And I believe that there are always non-violent ways of dealing with things, especially with people, that's why I don't agree with them either. 

It's also why I’m glad to be here, with Davy and the group.

I have been part of this group since I was a child, but unfortunately, they never let me do anything grand. Just deliver messages and small things. And because of that, I don't know much about what they do. But I know they help people, they spread peace. 

"Simon." I hear a voice behind me, which makes me stand. "I'm sorry I made you wait so long."

"That's okay, sir." I lied. I can't tell him the truth, Davy was too good to me.

Davy was the leader of ‘The Mummers’. He was the one who found me and brought me here. Thanks to him, I was no longer a kid without a permanent roof over my head. He gave me a home, food, clothes, and a purpose for my life. Before I was just a mad kid, wanting to punch someone, wanting to blame someone for my shitty life. 

But now, I want to help people too. I wanted to free people of the oppressor crown. I studied centuries of our monarchy, and I saw how wrong our kings and queens used to rule. The House Pitch was in the power for the last five centuries, and in all the books Davy gave it to me, I read how bad they ruled all these years. How awful they were doing in it. 

The only one I never understood was the queen Natasha Grimm - Pitch. Queen Natasha, died ten years ago in an accident, some people say she killed herself, others that her husband did it. The noble says a rebel was the one who took her life. Even the years before her death, it’s a bit of a mystery to me. The books don’t say anything, and if you ask around, the answers are divided.

Some will say she was the best queen they ever saw. And some say she was terrible, like her ancestors. I wish I could know better. Now, I can suppose that, just like the ones who ruled before her, she was no good. 

“Simon, I asked you to come here because I need you to do something,” Davy says, sitting in front of me. 

"Great, what can I do?" I ask excitedly, which makes him smile a bit.

"I don't know if you already heard it, but the crown will make a Selection.” I frown.

“I didn't hear anything about that sir, what is this Selection?” 

“'The Selection' was something they used to do some years ago. They take thirty-five girls from the whole kingdom and send them to the castle so the prince can choose one of them to marry him.” He sounds disgusted, and honestly, I feel the same.

“What if the girl doesn't want to go? Or to get married?”

“It doesn't matter. What matters is what they want. What the prince wants.” I feel his eyes scanning my face. “I already told you a couple of times about the prince, right?” 

“You did, sir. You told me he’s just like his father, an elitist who doesn't care about people, not for real.” He nods.

“That’s right." He says, still nodding.

"But what does this have to do with me?" 

“With the girls there, they’ll need more security. So, I want you to go tomorrow morning to the castle and apply to be a guard.” He leans to me. “Once inside, you’d be watching everything that happens inside and would inform me.” He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Can you do this for me, Simon? For our cause?” 

“I …” Could I do this? Be a spy inside the castle? And live among those people?

“If you don't think you can do this, I can ask another person to do the job. But I thought you would want to help us, and I know you would never disappoint me.” I feel my throat closing.

“You don’t need to call someone else, I’ll do it, I can do it.” Davy smiles at me.

“I knew you were the right choice.” He stands. “Come with me. I will pass the details to you.” 

I follow him to his office where he gives me details about the castle, the royal family and about some girls that were selected. I go back to my place, still thinking about everything. I didn't want to move to the castle and live with those people.

And I would've to see the prince playing with those girls, treating them as a piece of land. And honestly, I don't understand why a prince would have to do this to have a wife. I mean, being a prince must make everything easier. It mustn't be hard for him to find someone. But I guess, just like the rest of them, he sees it as a political game. 

I look at the photos that Davy gave to me. The first ones are of the royal wedding, I see queen Natasha and her husband, smiling happily at each other. There are a bunch of pictures of them together until the prince starts to show in it too.

The next photos show the three of them while the prince is growing, and then the queen stops showing and I see a picture of the prince and his father at his mother's funeral. I don't know why they took photos of it. It was a funeral, a private moment.

The next photos show the prince and the king over the years, and I stop when I reach the last one. It's a photo of the prince and must be recent because I know we have the same age, and he looks like my age now.

I don't know why I'm staring at the photo, but I keep staring at it for a few minutes. I already saw his face before in photos and interviews, but never like this. In this photo, he isn't looking at the camera. I don't think he even saw the camera. And he seems to be thinking, looking almost sad. 

I know that Davy already said a lot of bad things about this boy in the photo, but for some seconds I couldn't believe it. He seems like a normal kid like he has problems like everyone else. 

Some things other than his look calls my attention. Like his black hair falling over his face. And how different is the colour of his eyes. I never saw someone with grey eyes. But it looks good on him.

I stop staring at the photos and remind myself that he is the enemy. He may look sad, normal, and gorgeous (more than anyone I've ever seen), but he's still the enemy. He is the heir prince, the future king of Watford, and the people are suffering because of people like him, because of his father.

So, I drop the photos and decide. I will get inside the castle and will help Davy take them down. 

Baz

I woke up with the sun on my face and a heavyweight over my shoulders. 

After days of publicity, The Selection will start today. 

The last few days have been crazy here, there are people everywhere making sure everything is nice and clean for the thirty-five girls that will arrive today. Besides that, a lot of reporters would come today to register every detail of the competition. 

And also today will be the arrival of the new guards. With the increase of people here, they have to increase security as well. Even more, because a lot of families are worried about a rebel attack inside the castle. 

My father was happier than ever. Honestly, I never had seen him smiling so much like these days, and all counsellors were the same. They all thought this was the best move they did in years. I still have my doubts. I don’t think this kind of politics will help the people. 

In fact, I think that the rebels will use this as an argument to say that we are wasting money to make entertainment when hundreds of people are starving. And I agree with that.

I keep staring at the ceiling of my room, trying to prepare myself for what it's waiting for me, but it’s too much. 

I don’t know what will happen. Or how I’m going to be able to do this, to fake the whole thing.

The counsellors told me that I have all the time I want to make my choice. But it's not really like that. For all the history, I know that a long Selection was not good. So, after all, I don't have all the time I want. 

There's a soft knock on the door before the maid comes in. She comes to let me know that the girls are already here, and my father wants to see me. 

“Okay, I’ll change my clothes and will go talk to him.”

“You’ll want help with your clothes, Your Highness?” She asks with a blush on her cheeks.

“No, I can change by myself, thank you.” She makes a reference and leaves.

She was new here, and I could see that she wasn't entirely comfortable with her position yet. Many people who worked inside the castle began that way, embarrassed for talking to someone with royal blood. I've always tried to leave them comfortable with me, but I know that many times it's not possible.

I leave my room after a few minutes, ready to start my day. Or something close to that. 

My father is in his room, waiting for me and his food. He nods for me to sit in front of him, but I can see he’s irritated for taking me too long to come.

Sometimes I would like to tell him some truths, like the fact that technically I’m the one with power here, and he’s only the consort, so I should give the orders. 

But I don’t want to fight, and I don’t feel ready to rule. Not yet, at least. So, I’ll let him enjoy his position a little while. 

“The girls arrived some minutes ago.” He tells me. “They are in their rooms now, until lunchtime. In two hours they will take them to have their first lunch in the castle. I want you to go there, introduce yourself, have lunch with them and choose one for your first date.”

“Already? I thought I would have time, more than a few hours.” He looks more irritated.

“Basilton, follow my orders. The competition is entertainment and we need to keep the people entertained.” 

“And I was thinking that it was about me choosing someone I will have to spend the rest of my life with.”

“You know what I mean.” At least, he had the decency of looking a bit embarrassed. “Do what I said. The Selection started this morning and only will finish when you choose one of them. But it would be better to give some stability to the kingdom with a new princess, so the faster, the better. And if the common people see that the things have already started, they will be calmer.” He tries to explain himself. 

“Don’t worry father, I’ll do what you asked me.” I bow my head a bit and leave before he could reply again.

I wander around the castle for a few minutes, not knowing where to go or what to do. This thing barely started, and I already wanted to be over. 

After I don’t know how long, I go back to my room and change my clothes to better ones. The girls have to meet a prince, and I would have to dress like one. People are waiting for me in my room, waiting to help me. I never understood why there were people to help me dress. It was easy enough to do it by myself.

But I didn’t want to fight today, so I just let them dress me while I kept thinking about what was waiting for me. A few minutes later, I’m ready, and they clear me to go to the dining hall. Some guards walk with me until we arrive at big doors.

I can hear whispers, different voices and giggles inside. One guard asks if I’m ready to go in, so I take a deep breath and nod to him. 

All the heads inside the hall turn to the door, all the talks end and I hear gasps when I walk inside. I look around the room, feeling all those eyes on me. I see some girls giggling and some trying to do, what I think is a sexy face, which only makes me want to laugh and roll my eyes. 

“Hello, ladies.” I greet them.

“Your Highness is a pleasure to have you here.” Sylvia, the responsible for the girls, says.

“Is a pleasure to be here as well.” I try to give my best smile and must work because I hear more gasps. “Before we can have lunch, I would like to introduce myself, officially, and to meet one by one.” They seem more excited. “I promise I won’t take much of your time and soon we can all appreciate our lunch.” I see some girls straighten their postures and smile more. “I’ll sit on that sofa, can you bring them to me?” I ask Sylvia.

“Sure, Your Highness.” She smiles and goes back to the girls. 

I walk to the sofa followed by some people that are organising The Selection, only then do I see the cameras already filming everything. Sylvia brings the first girl, and I see her name on the name tag, Samantha. It would take forever to remember all of their names.

“Hello, Samantha,” I say, smiling at her, or trying to.

“Your highness,” She bows a bit. “You’re even more handsome in person.” She tries to look embarrassed and timid, but it sounds so fake that I again have to contain myself in rolling my eyes. 

“Thank you. You also look more beautiful in person.”  

“Oh, that way, you will make me blush, your highness.” Her cheeks are perfectly normal, with no blush. And her voice is so irritating that I wonder if it would be too rude to send her home now. I decide that it might be, so I keep talking to her.

I don’t know how much time she spends with me, but I know that is more than enough. And probably, she’ll be one of the firsts to go. 

There are more girls here than I can deal with, but I try to be polite and talk to all of them.

After almost an hour, I’m close to the end. I’m already craving for my lunch, and there are five more girls for me to talk to. Mary, one of the nicest and poor girls in the competition, leaves after our talk, which gives me time to drink some water.

I see a blonde girl coming in my direction, and recognise her from the pictures. Agatha Wellbelove was one of the favourites of the rich public and of my counsellors, which also includes my father. She’s rich, beautiful, and her family is a big supporter of mine. Everything they want. 

“Hello, your highness.” She smiles and sits.

“Hello, Agatha. It's good to see you here." I say. "I believe I met your father a couple of years ago."

"Oh, yes. My family always had a good relationship with the crown." She sounds proud of that.

We talk for some minutes, and I can see that besides her smiles, she doesn’t sound like the other girls like she is trying to impress me. She looks happy, but for some reason, I don’t think she cares about me or the competition. 

After her, there were two more girls that made me want to scream, and then a short girl walks in my direction like she was walking to death. Once she is closer, I can see her name, Penelope. 

"Good morning, prince." She makes an exaggerated reverence before sitting.

"Good morning, Penelope." I try to remember what it was in her file but I can't, there were too many files. "I hope you are having a good time so far." I can see she is not very happy being here.

“The place is great, but the girls are quite ridiculous.” I contain myself from laughing and agreeing with her. “I hope it’s not a requirement to talk about you the whole time.” She crosses her arms, which makes me laugh.

“It’s not. Actually, I believe it would be very dull.” She looks a little bit less angry than before. “So, can I guess that your parents made you apply?” 

“I don’t - I didn’t mean - I’m sorry …” She starts babbling, maybe she thinks I would send her home because of that.

“I understand a couple of things about doing what our parents want,” I say in a calm voice. “But I hope your time here improves.” 

Before she could reply, Sylvia came to take her and to make me go faster. I wasted too much time at the beginning, which was a shame because I wanted to keep talking to Penelope. Maybe she is the only one besides me who doesn’t want to be here.

I talk to the last ones, and then we are all clear to take our lunch. 

"Thank you all the ladies for giving me a little of your time. And I'm sorry for delaying your lunch, but let’s all eat now." They all smile at me, and I already make a list of the ones I will send home tomorrow.

Some of them I could send away now because I know that I wouldn’t bear spending only a day with them. So the rest of my life was not an option. But I want to let all of them enjoy at least one day. So, tomorrow they're out.

I also started to make a list of the possible ones I could choose. I can't escape this, I have to choose someone, and I know this won't be a marriage with love, not romantic love, but I can choose someone I like. Someone fun, smart and loyal that I will be able to have a conversation with. A friend.

Maybe, with time I could tell the truth, she could keep my secret. 

The conversation along the hall is loud, even though I see some girls trying to be quiet, as it would be appropriate to a lady. 

I look over the seats trying to decide who I would choose for the first date. My eyes stop in Penelope. She looked miserable here. Probably as I suggested, she applied because her parents made her. She didn't even seem to like me, not romantically.

That was great. Because I think it would be better if, in the end, I choose someone who is not in love with me. She was a good option. Of course, I didn't intend to keep anyone here if they didn't want to. But I feel that we could become friends.

I walk in her direction, drawing everyone’s attention. She doesn't notice me until I'm by her side.

"Miss Bunce?" She looks up, and I can see her eyes are scared. Could it be under the possibility of going home, or going out with me? "Would you accompany me on a walk?" 

I hear whispers, angry whispers. Penelope doesn't answer at first. She seems to be thinking, probably wondering what it would be better for her to reply.

"I - Uh - " She sounds nervous. "Of course your highness, it would be an honour." She stands. 

I offer my arm to her and escort her out of the hall. We don’t talk until we reach the gardens.  

“It’s a lovely place, your highness.” She looks even more nervous than before.

“You don’t need to pretend I already expected that at least one of you wouldn’t want to be here for real, that wouldn’t want to marry me,” I say, smiling with her surprise. “It’s okay I’m not sending you away because of that. Unless you ask me to.” She sighs.

“Can I be honest with you?” 

“Yes, please.” We sat on a bench.

"I really appreciate being chosen to be here, but I only applied my name because my family asked me to."

"Your family's name is Bunce right?" She nods. "It seems familiar."

"Yeah, we have a complicated history with your family. We weren't always a big supporter of the royal family. Many years ago, my parents had friends who were part of groups who wanted you all out. My parents didn’t agree with them, but the shadow of this friendship was always in our family. My mother thought that if I didn’t apply, you and your father could think we are acting with the other groups. Which we are not." She adds the last part quickly.

“I believe in you.” She seems to relax a bit. “But why didn't you want to participate? You don’t want to be a queen?” She blushes.

“I never thought about it, but it’s just that - “ She starts to play with her dress.

“Your heart is in another place.” I complete, and she looks up. It was clear in her face that she was in love already, but not for me.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I know that all the other girls …” I cut her.

“That’s okay. You are not committing any crime, and I think it is great that you don’t feel anything for me.” 

“You do?” I nod.

“Yeah, I always wanted to have a friend, someone who won’t tell everything to my father. And I think you are perfect to be my friend. If you want to, of course.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you don’t want to be here, but I’m guessing you don’t want to disappoint your parents.” She nods. “And I kinda like you. You seem fun, sarcastic and smart.” She smiles.

“That’s me.”

“Perfect then, every time you get sick of this competition come looking for me, I’ll keep you here and bring your family back at our side, and once you get enough of here, just let me know and I’ll send you home.”

“This seems amazing, honestly. And you don’t seem as bad as I thought.” She laughs. “I always imagine that you were a lot more spoiled and a total prat. But I think I would like to be your friend.” I smile at her.

“Great. Now tell me about the one who has your heart.” She sighs, looking away.

She tells me all about the boy she was dating. Her family didn’t know, but they were super in love. He wanted her to apply for the Selection because he didn’t want her to lose the opportunity. But when her name appeared on TV as one of the selected ones, they got into a fight, and he broke up with her.  

This morning, when she was leaving her home, she saw him with another girl, laughing, hugging her. So, she didn’t want to go back yet and face him. Face them. She was still in love with him, of course, but she didn’t want to deal with it.

We talk for long minutes until I walk her to her room. We said goodbye, and I promised to call her for another walk in the next few days. It was a great conversation, and I know I made the right decision to want her as my friend.

I don’t have anything to do until dinnertime, so I decide to go to the library and hide from everyone. On my way, I see some new guards, who look nervously at me making a disastrous reverence in my direction. I only nod and keep walking.

I keep my eyes on the floor and try to walk faster, so I can be alone at the library. I’m almost there when I listen to the noise of something falling on the floor. I look up and keep still at my place.

A guard, a new guard is in front of me, some inches away. He gets down to catch his sword that he let fall, but his eyes are on me, and for some reason, I don’t look away or start to walk again.

He seems young, maybe the same age as me, and I’m sure that I never saw someone so beautiful. I don’t know what's more attractive, his bronze curls, the moles and freckles spread on his skin, his blue eyes, or the blush on his cheeks.

“Uh - I’m sorry,” I don’t really know why I’m sorry. “Didn’t mean to stay in your way.” I’m pretty sure I was not in his way. I intend to keep walking, but I don't. I keep looking at the boy, and he's still looking at me too with a weird expression on his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m the one who kept you from following your way, your highness.” He seems nervous, angry almost. 

“That’s okay.” I need to leave. “Have a nice day.” I look at the name tag on his uniform. “See you around, Snow.” I give him a short nod and finally start to walk.

Only when I’m inside the library do I take a deep breath and think about what just happened. What actually happened? I think no one ever left me so speechless like that. I don’t know what to think. 

So, I try to not think and take a book. 

But of course, it doesn’t work because the whole afternoon all I can think about is a pair of blue eyes looking at me.

Chapter Text

Chapter 02 

Simon

The prince just went away and left me standing in the corridor. I was not expecting to meet him on my first day here and when I was alone. I don't know what to think of that. I don't know what to think of him.

I was expecting a lot of things, but not him apologising to me. I mean, he didn’t do anything wrong, I was the one who dropped my sword and stopped him from following his way. He was kind of nice to me. And I couldn’t help noticing that even though he always looked great in the photos, he looked even better in person. 

I go back to my tasks, but for the rest of my day, I keep thinking about the prince. He didn’t look like someone evil or something like that. He looks a bit lost actually. Like in that picture Davy gave it to me. Thinking about the picture and Davy makes me remember what he told me about the prince and I question myself if he was right, if maybe he got his information wrong.

I shake my head, expelling these thoughts, Davy knows better, and if he says these people are all bad, then I will believe him. Maybe the prince was just pretending to be nice. Maybe it is part of his acting, because of the competition. There are a lot of cameras around the castle and maybe he was just afraid of being spotted treating someone bad.

My worries change at night. Tomorrow morning the new guards will be distributed, some will stay outside, to keep the gardens, others will be guarding the girls inside their rooms and around the corridors, and the rest will be protecting the royal family and the counsellors. For my mission, it is better if I stay inside, close to the girls, or some counsellor. It would give me better access. But, I hope they don’t put me with the king or the prince. I rather not have to face or protect them. I don’t know if I would be able to.

Either way, I just hope that I can stay in a place that will make this mission easier. Maybe if I report something important, Davy would let me go back and send someone else to stay in my place. With that, another thought comes through my mind. How will Davy correspond with me?

He didn’t tell me this detail and I forgot to ask. Maybe I can look for that tomorrow, but I know I have to be careful. If someone finds out that I’m sending messages to people outside I can be arrested, or even killed. I know that by doing this I’m helping The Mummers, but still, I don’t think I considered all the risks when I said yes. But I can’t keep whining now, I just have to be careful, and soon I’ll be out of here.

The captain of the guards leads us to our rooms. It’s not a big thing, a small room with four beds, and that’s another thing I didn’t think about, sharing the room with other guards, it’s been years since I shared a room with someone.

The other three, are also new and despite the excitement that I can see on their faces, we’re all tired enough, so luckily we just change the uniforms for pyjamas and fall on our beds. 

Some minutes pass and I keep tossing on the bed. I hear the other guards snoring, and I feel the exhaustion in my bones, but I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about this day. About how the next few days will be. And, of course, about the meeting with the prince.

I think about the expression on his face, the way his eyes were looking at me. I was right before, the grey eyes looked really good on him. After that though, I force myself to remember what Davy told me about him, about them. But something doesn’t feel right. He didn’t seem to be that person Davy described. 

I shut my eyes and shake my head. I didn't even met the prince properly, I just saw him for like two minutes. How the hell could I say what kind of person he was? Tomorrow and in the next weeks, I will see better for myself. But now, I will keep reminding myself of what I already know. Of what The Mummers say. 

It’s hard for me to sleep. But at some point, I finally drift off to my dreams.

When I wake up, a few hours later, I don’t remember what I dreamt about, but I know it had something to do with a pair of grey eyes.

I try to stop thinking about that as I put on my uniform and go with the other guards to take our breakfast. I’m a little nervous about where they will put me, but that doesn't stop me from eating everything I see in front of me. The nobles can be terrible people, but they provide really good food here. 

There are a few talks over the tables, but everyone is trying to keep the posture in front of the captains. I try not to call attention to myself and follow what others are doing.

At the end of the breakfast, Captain Mac called the new guards and took us outside. He explains that we’ll be divided into different tasks, and explain each one of them. I already knew it, because Davy told me and other guards were talking about it yesterday.

Captain Mac says some names and tells them that they will be in the gardens, helping to secure the castle. The next ones are destined to take care of the girls, I see some of them smiling and almost roll my eyes.

And only then do I realise that or I’ll be with the counsellors or the royal family. 

“Well,” Captain Mac keeps talking after clearing the other guards to their new assignment. “You, who are still here, will be designated for the harder positions. That’s because you were the ones who were better in the training.” Before coming to the castle, all the new guards passed a few days through hard training. “Because of that, you’ll be the ones to take care of the most important people. Of course, you won’t be doing it alone, another old and experienced guard will be by your side, helping you. But make no mistakes, a wrong move on your part can be fatal for someone.” 

I look around and see that the other guards are looking a bit scared just like me. Just because I don't agree with the nobles, doesn't mean I want them dead, so I should take my job seriously. 

"I will call your names and tell you where you'll be staying." He takes a list and starts saying the names. "Simon Snow." He calls me almost at the end of the list. "You'll be staying with the prince." I barely hear anything else.

What were the chances? 

The captain keeps talking but I’m not listening. Why did they put me with him? I didn’t want to keep seeing and protecting him. I guess it’s great because of my mission, but I don't want to do it. To be on the prince's side, every day.

“Snow, Soldier Matthews will take you to the prince.” He points to a guard beside him. “Soldier Weasley, who is protecting the prince now, will pass you all the information you need to know,” Captain says to me, and after already turns to the other guards, passing their orders. 

Soldier Matthews, one of the oldest Soldiers in here, leads me to the castle. The day was barely starting, but the sun was already shining, and with this lighting, the place was even more amazing, it was impossible not to be impressed with the castle. I guess it won't be so hard to live here in the next weeks. 

Matthews doesn’t say anything, just walks. After a couple of minutes, I’m already lost in the long corridors, but he must know where we are, I mean if I was here as long as he is, I would know it too.

After long minutes, we arrive at big and decorated doors.

“Soldier Snow, this is Soldier Weasley he’ll inform you of your duties.” Matthews nods to me and leaves.

“You were the one selected to protect the prince?” He asks in doubt in his eyes. I know I don’t look very strong, but I also know that I’m able to protect people.

“Yes.”

“Okay then.” He almost shrugs. “We have different shifts, you stay with the prince during the day and I’ll be with him by the night. If there’s some threat, like a rebel attack, we increase the number of guards, but usually, just the two of us is good enough. If the prince leaves the castle, you must inform me or one of the captains, so we can send more people with you.”

“Okay.” I nod.

“For starters, it is that, but if you have some doubt just ask.” I nod again.

I take my place where the other guard was, and the door opens behind me.

“Your highness.” Weasley makes a reverence. “As you know, we had to replace Soldier Price, and designated a new guard for you.” He points at me and I turn to the prince. “This will be your new guard.” 

And there he is. Looking exactly like what a prince should look like. Did he just wake up looking like that? I see a bit of surprise and recognition in his eyes when he looks at me.

“Snow, right?” I nod.

“Simon Snow,” I say because I don’t know what else to say. 

"Your highness, I'll leave you with Soldier Snow now and will come back at night." He makes another reference and leaves. 

The prince looks at me and he seems to be thinking of something to say.

“I guess you arrived yesterday with the new guards?” He asks.

“Yes, your highness,” I answer, trying to be polite. 

“I appreciate all of you doing this, with the girls here, we’re afraid that the rebels will try something, make some move.” I only nod again. He keeps looking at me, and his hands are moving around the buttons of his clothes. Is he nervous? “I guess it is hard for you to stay away from your family?”

“I don’t have a family.” It’s true, I like being part of the Mummers, and being someone that Davy trusts. But it doesn't mean they are my family. “Which makes it easier to be here.” I don’t know why I’m telling him this. But it’s true, if I had a family I think I wouldn’t have accepted the mission. I’m risking a big deal here, so at least I know that it won’t have anyone to suffer for me if anything goes wrong. 

“Oh. Good.” He looks away, before straightening his posture and looks back. “Let’s go then, I need to have breakfast with the girls.” Is it my impression or he doesn't sound even a bit happy with that?

He walks in front of me, and I leave some steps between us. We walk through some corridors until we see one of the girls.

“Shit.” I hear the prince whispering. 

“Your highness is a pleasure to meet you here.” She makes a reverence.

“Good morning, Samantha. I hope you had a good night of sleep?” The prince sounds a bit annoyed. Am I imagining things?

“I did, thank you for asking. Such a nice thing to say.” I almost rolled my eyes, he didn’t say anything special. “Are you going to breakfast? I’m going there now, and I would love to walk with you.” Okay, she is a bit annoying, her voice sounds weird like she is acting or something. 

“Actually, I have something to do before going there, but you can go, I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He’s polite, but I can see he doesn’t like her. 

“Oh, sure, I know you must have a thousand things to do.” She laughs, but I can’t see what is funny and the prince seems to think the same.

“See you soon then.” He nods to her and goes back walking before she could reply.

He turns right in the corridor and we enter a huge library.

“Uh -” He looks at me. “I have to take a book.” He says, trying to justify the change of plans. 

“That’s okay. If I were you I would be escaping from her too.” I say because honestly, that girl was annoying, and I saw her for like two minutes. For a second I worry that I went too far talking so unformal with him, but he looks relieved.

“Yeah, not that all of them are like her, but she is just … too much.” He looks at the door. “Some of them are too much, which I knew was going to happen.” He says, but he seems to be talking to himself. “I think it is safe to go now.” He says after a minute but doesn’t move.

“Do you want me to check?”

“Yes please.” 

I open the door and look at the corridor but there’s no one there.

“There’s no one, your highness.” He looks more relaxed. 

“Good, let’s go.”

We walk for a few minutes until we reach the dining hall. I can hear noises and voices, even with the door closed. I see the prince taking a deep breath and he looks tense like he’s about to do something he doesn't like or want to. 

He opens the door, and the girls go instantly quiet. He talks to them, and they talk back before he sits to eat his breakfast. I stand behind him, only a few inches from his chair. 

While everyone is eating, I look around at the girls. Some of them were looking at the prince, but most of them were entertained by the food and the other girls. They were all pretty and different from each other. And here I couldn't say who was rich and who was not, but I knew that there were people from different classes. 

They wanted to do that, to take girls from different classes, but if Davy is correct, and he always is, that was just for show. The prince would choose someone rich and from a good family. But they still could show to everyone how good they were accepting poor girls, allowing them to come here. 

When I look around, I also see one familiar girl. She doesn’t look very excited about being here, not like the other ones. She is talking to a girl besides her when she looks up and sees me. I see that she also recognises me, and it’s when I remember. She is Penelope Bunce. We were close when we were kids, right after I joined the Mummers, but then her family moved to another village and I never saw her again.

I think she was the only true friend I’ve ever had. She smiles at me, probably remembering who I was. I smile back because it was good to see her again. I missed her a lot when she moved. She nods at me and goes back to talking to the girl beside her. It wouldn't be good if someone saw her smiling at a guard. Even if it didn’t mean anything.

Breakfast happens without incidents. Samantha, the girl who stopped us in the corridor, keeps looking at the prince, trying to catch his attention, but it’s not working. The prince keeps looking at his plate, not daring to look anywhere else. 

I could hear the girls whispering, wondering which one of them would have a date with the prince. From what they were talking about, a girl already had a date yesterday. But I don’t know who it was. 

Once the breakfast is over, a woman calls the girls to their tasks and is when I spot the most pretty girl I have seen. She doesn’t look at me or the prince, she keeps talking with the girl beside her, but I can’t take my eyes from her. Her blonde hair was like melted gold, and she walked with such grace, that if I didn't know, I would say that she was a princess. She looked like one. 

I look at the prince to see if he was looking at her too, but he’s still looking at the table. Actually, he seems lost in his thoughts. But before they could leave, the prince stands to ask their attention.

“Sylvia, before you take them, I would like to have a word with some girls.” I see that they start to cheer. “I would like to talk with Samantha, Catherine, Anne, Ashley, Lydia, Elizabeth, Sarah, Lorraine, Olivia and Amy.” I knew he wasn't about to say anything nice because Samantha was included.

The other girls left the room confused. The ones who stayed were very confident. They were smiling and fixing their hair, while the prince went in their direction. I follow his steps, stopping behind him.

“Well, I didn’t think I would do this so soon, but I’m afraid that I’ll have to send you home.” I was not expecting that. And neither were they.

“What?” Samantha asks, in a very furious tone.

“I’m sorry girls, you are all amazing, but I can’t see how a marriage between me and any of you would work. We are very different, I already knew it from our brief talk yesterday, and I think it wouldn’t be fair to any of you to keep you here, raise your hopes only to crash it later. I’m really sorry, but I believe it’s better this way.”

Is just when he stops talking that half of the girls start crying, very loud, like someone in their family was about to die, or something like that. The others are just in shock, unable to say anything. 

When Davy told me about this competition, I thought the prince would play with these girls, and they wouldn't want to be here. But I guess I was wrong. At least, these ten girls here wanted to be here a lot. 

“It was a pleasure to meet you all, the guards will escort you back to your rooms, take your time packing your things.” He nods to them and leaves, with me behind him. “Why did anyone think this was a good idea?” He murmurs to himself.

Was he against the idea of the Selection? 

We walk for a while until he stops. It looked like he was about to explode.

“Are - Are you okay, your highness?” I ask, afraid that he could just collapse. 

“Yeah, I just - I hate to see people crying. I hate to make them cry. I hate -” He stops and turns to me. “I’m fine, I just wasn’t prepared for what just happened.”

“Well, if this is worth something, I think you managed it, your words were kind.” It’s true, he was nice to the girls. And I don’t know why I was trying to be nice to him. I should just keep quiet and remember, he’s the enemy. Wasn't he?

“You think so?” I nod. “I think I can’t avoid this part of the competition.” He passes his hand through his hair. “Okay, let’s go, I think I have to call another girl on a date.” And then he goes back walking.

We don’t talk anymore, which is good, because it allows me to think properly. The prince wasn't what I was expecting. He didn’t sound like evil or anything like that. Also, he seemed worried about the girls.

But, again, he could be acting. He could be faking this whole personality, only in case, a camera shows at some corner. Or he could be just pretending to be nice, so the girls can leave and say how wonderful the prince was, even when they weren’t chosen.

We go back to his room and I wait outside, some minutes later he leaves again and gives a piece of paper to one maid that was passing by.

“Please, handle this to Agatha Wellbelove.” Then, he goes back to his room.

I keep my position, guarding his door. It’s a little boring, but I guess it’s better than keep talking with him, confusing what I think about him.

Sometime later, the same maid comes back and knocks on the door. The prince opens and takes another piece of paper from her hands. 

“Thank you.” He says to her. She makes a reverence and leaves. 

He goes back inside and keeps quiet in there until a maid comes with his lunch hours later. Some minutes later, a guard took my position so I could have my lunch. But I should be back in less than an hour. 

I eat my food fast, partially because I’m hungry and partially because I want to see if the prince will have a date with some of the girls. Once I come back, I thank the other guard and wait for a few more minutes until the prince comes out of the room.

“Let’s go.” He says to me.

We walk for a couple of minutes until we reach a corridor full of doors. He stops in the middle of the way and knocks on one door. Only a couple of seconds later, I see that beautiful blonde girl opening.

“Your highness.” She smiles at him and I almost roll my eyes. Of course, she would be one of the firsts to go on a date with the prince.

I’m a bit surprised she wasn't the first. She looks like a princess, a queen. 

“Hello, Agatha. What do you want to do today?” She seems to think.

“I would like to walk, to get to know the castle better.” She shrugs. “I know it’s not exciting, but this place is huge, I would like to know it better.” The prince smiles at her and offers her his arm.

“Of course.” She takes his arm and they walk in front of me. “I grew up here, so I’m used to everything, but I know how it can be a little too much.”

They walk for long minutes, and I have to walk with them. They almost don’t talk about anything personal, just about their parents and parties. If I want to finish my mission soon, I have to start listening to better and more important conversations. Maybe I’ll accompany the prince to some meeting. That would be useful.

While that doesn’t happen, I just stay looking at the beautiful couple in front of me and wondering why I don’t like them together. They are a good couple, a very gorgeous couple. But I don’t know. Something doesn’t fit. I really don’t like them together.

And I want to find out why. 

Baz

I can’t think. I can’t think about anything with Snow walking closer to me.

The date with Agatha was not good. We barely talked about anything other than our families. I don’t feel a connection with her, any kind of bond, not even a friendship bond. We just don’t match at all. 

But I can’t care about that when Snow is just a few inches behind me. 

When I saw him yesterday, I thought he was more handsome than anyone I had seen. Now I’m sure he is.

I was so surprised to see him standing in front of my door. And part of me, the irrational part, likes that he is with me, and not with the girls, or my father. But the rational part hates it. He is a distraction. A very pretty distraction, but still.

Is already hard to keep playing the prince who is happy to marry one of the girls, but keep playing it while he’s here, it’s harder. He’s just a reminder that if I wasn’t who I am, I could have who I wanted, and not who my father and the others want. Not that I want Snow. I didn't even know him. He’s just a distraction.

I leave Agatha back in her room, and after saying goodbye, I start to think about who is the next one I’ll choose for the next date. Right now, I’m happy that I sent those girls home, I couldn't bear to spend some minutes with them on a date. But even though I didn’t like them, I didn't like sending them home either.

I hate everything about this competition. I just want this to end. 

“Your highness.” One of my father’s maids comes in my direction. “The king would like to have a word with you.” I almost sigh, but I’m aware that I’m not alone, so I just nod.

“I’ll see him, thank you.” The maid bows and leaves. 

I should start walking, my father hates waiting. But I think I know why he wants to see me. Two of the girls I sent home this morning came from big families. Families who support us. I’m sure my father is not happy with me sending them away. And I don’t want to hear him yelling at me.

I lean against the wall behind me and close my eyes. Only for a few seconds.

“Uh - Do you need something, your highness?” Snow’s voice makes me open my eyes. He’s frowning at me, and I almost forgot he was here. Almost.

“No.” I shake my head, trying to recompose myself. This was the second time I almost lost my mind in front of him, only today. “I just need a second before going, before I have to face my father.” I don’t know why I’m telling this to him. I never talk to guards like I’ve been talking to him. I don’t know why it is so easy to talk to him. “Come on.” I pass my hand through my hair. “My father hates waiting.”

We go back walking until we reach my father’s office. I take a deep breath before knocking. Some seconds later, he tells me to get in.

“You want to talk to me, father?” I ask once I close the door, leaving Snow outside. 

“I want to know what is in your head to send those girls home?” His voice is loud, which almost makes me roll my eyes.

“I thought you wanted me to finish the Selection soon. I knew I wouldn’t choose any one of those girls, so I didn’t think they should stay here.” I try to keep my voice calm enough. 

“Two of those girls are very important. Their families are -” I cut him.

“You told me to pick any one of them. I didn’t think you were caring about their social position as long as they were girls.” I see his face twisting and blushing at my words. 

“You have -” He yells and I cut him again, this time standing from the chair I was sitting on.

“I don’t have to do anything else.” I raise my voice as well. “Since you came up with this idea, I didn’t agree with it. But I let you convince me to be part of this show. So, the rest I’ll do on my way. The choices I already made and will make will be my own. I don’t want to hear a single thing from you or anyone else.” His eyes were almost falling from his face.

He was about to shout something else, but the door opens and one of the counsellors, Lord Smith walks in.

“I didn’t want to interrupt Your Majesty, Your Highness, I’m so sorry.” He bows.

“What do you want?” My father yells. Very subtle.

“A rebel attack happened close to the castle. We just heard now. The other counsellors are gathering at the meeting room so we can all know what happened.” He seemed scared. 

“Let’s not waste time then.” I nodded to him.

I don’t wait for him or my father, I just leave the room, and soon hear Snow’s steps behind me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to listen, but is it true? A rebel attack happened?” Snow asks behind me. He clearly doesn't know that the code between guards and nobles, don’t allow him to ask something like that, don’t allow him even talking to us first. But I don’t mind, it’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t afraid of talking with me. I prefer this way.

“Yes, and it was close to the castle.” I don’t see or listen to my father behind us, so I keep talking. “We’re having a meeting now to know exactly what happened and if someone got killed.” 

Snow doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the walk. A couple of minutes later, we got to the meeting room. Snow almost stays outside the room, but I tell him to come in. He looks around and sees the other guards in there.

Some years ago an attack happened during a meeting and one of the counsellors died. Since then, our guards keep us protected inside the room. 

Almost everyone was in there, except my father, who burst into the room a few minutes later.

“How did the attack happen? How close to the castle was the attack?” He is already yelling and all the counsellors start to speak, eager to please the king. 

“We still don’t have all the information my king -” One of them starts to say.

“It’s possible they got inside the castle?” He asks nervously. “We are in danger?”

They all go back to talking again, and I keep looking at my father. Something's not right. He never got so worried like this with an attack before.   

“I think you didn’t ask the most important father,” I say, making them all shut up. “Do you know if someone was killed?” I asked Lord Taylor, he seemed to be more informed. 

“Unfortunately yes, your highness. We don’t know how many yet, but we know that four people who worked inside the castle were killed.”

“Make sure that these families will keep receiving the payment and send them our regards.” He nods and writes it down. “And once you have the names of the ones who died, pass it to me.”

“I don’t see why this is important -” My father starts to say.

“Those people died because of us. Haven’t you heard, father? The rebels want us out of the throne, and for them, it will be better if we leave in coffins.” I see that he’s uncomfortable with my sarcasm. “Every bullet that hit one innocent person was meant for us. This is their main goal, and they will keep terrorizing and killing whoever comes in their way until they get it. So, I’d say that every life they take is important.” The silence after I finish fills the room. “Where exactly did the attack happen?” I ask Lord Taylor again.

“It happened in Cloisters, the village close to the south gate.”

“Our soldiers are already there?” He nods.

“Yes, Captain Clarke will bring us a report in a couple of hours.” 

“Okay, do you have some other information?”

“No, your highness, what I already told is everything we know.” 

“Then I don’t think there’s a reason for us to keep this meeting. Once Captain Clarke comes back, let us know. He’ll have the information we need, and after that, we can plan our next move and establish security measures.” They all nod, except for my father. “And try to reach your contacts outside the castle, we need to know what their next move is.” Lord Taylor nods to me and I stand. “You would like to say something else, father?” I kindly offer him the chance to end the meeting and to act like a proper king. He was acting like a scared child. 

“I think you already said enough. I’ll wait for all of you here once the Captain comes back with reports.” He stands and leaves. Still acting like a child then.

I just thank the counsellors and leave, once more with Snow behind me. I don’t stop until I reach my room. My father was honestly doing everything in his power to stress me. I need to relax, to take a book and read a bit. 

“You meant what you said?” Snow asks me once we reach my room. “Your highness.” He adds quickly.

“What I said?” I turned to him.

“About caring for the lost lives. Helping them.” He seems confused about something.

“You don’t know much about the relation between guards and nobles do you?” He looks scared. “Usually guards don’t ask questions.”

“I- Uh -” He starts to try to justify, but is too nervous for that. I raise my hand and he stops talking.

“That’s okay, I don’t care.” I shrug. “It’s nice that at least one person doesn’t get scared of talking to me. That at least treats me like a normal person.” And it’s even nicer that it is you, the most gorgeous boy I’ve ever seen, that talks to me like that. “But answering your question, yes, I meant that. So many people have already died. And it’s not that my father or the others don’t care, they just care more about other stuff. But the thing is, the people, the kingdom, they’re my people, one day I’ll be king, and one thing my mother taught me was that they should always be my number one concern. Nothing is more important than life. All lives.” I look away not wanting to think about my mother now. I don’t know why I’m telling him all of this. I think I just need to say it.

“That is - That’s nice.” He’s frowning, and then he looks away, to his feet. 

“I’ll try to sleep a bit until the meeting starts.” He nods as I walk in and close my door. But I see that he still looks a bit lost like he was thinking about something.

I lay on my bed and closed my eyes. I couldn’t believe how many things happened today. Honestly, it seemed that a whole week had passed only in those last hours. 

First, I had to deal with the handsome guard that was now my guard. Then, I had to send those girls home. After that, I went on a date with Agatha, only to later have a fight with my father and have to deal with another rebel attack. 

One thing, I know for sure, I can keep the Selection for too long. The rebel attacks are happening each time closer to the castle, and having all the girls here, would put them in danger. I would have to think about something.

I’m still not convinced that I’ll have to marry one of them. Deep down I still think I’ll be able to get rid of it. But I don’t know how. I don’t know what I could do to cancel this Selection. So, while this is still my reality, I have to keep going, to make a plan. I'll try to have a date with the other 23 girls this week. Then, by the beginning of the next week, I can send more of them home.   

I try to read a book or to sleep, but it’s impossible. I can’t stop thinking. I keep remembering my father’s words and hoping that the rebel attack was not too big. So, I really can’t stop thinking.

When I finally start to relax and think about other things, like the beautiful guard outside my door, I hear someone knocking. I stand and walk to the door.

“Yes?” I ask Snow.

“One of the counsellors passed here, the report is with them, the meeting will start in ten minutes.” He says.

“Okay, I’ll change my clothes and we’ll be going.” He nods while I close my door.

Almost ten minutes later, we reach the meeting room, and I see with some surprise that my father is not there.

“So, now that the prince is here, we can start our meeting.” Lord Edwards says.

“Wait, where is my father?”

“His maid gave us a note saying that he’s not feeling well. He permits us to do the meeting without him.” I take the note and see my father’s handwriting. 

What was happening to him? He never skipped a meeting. And I thought he would want to be here, especially because he looked very scared earlier. Could that be related? 

“Okay then. Let’s start. What does the report say?”

“The attack happened at Cloisters as we said before, the rebels destroyed a few houses. We don’t know if they were looking for something or just wanted to cause chaos. As we said before, two soldiers and two maids who worked here were killed, with them, they registered another five deaths of people who lived close by, including two children.” I close my eyes.

“They were all from the same families?” I try to steady my voice and not to think about the deaths, and the kids.

“No, the kids' families live a bit far from where the attack happened, they were playing there when everything happened. The other three people were from different families, they were all alone at their houses when the rebels came.”

“Contact all the families, give them some financial support and if there is someone in the age of working, tell them that they are welcome to work here.” Lord Taylor writes it down.

“There’s more, your highness. With the bodies of the people who worked here, it was found a note that said: ‘You’re the next.’, we think is a message …”

“To us. Me and my father.” He nods. “We have some information about where they went after the attack, or if someone has a clue where they’ll attack next?”

“No, all the people in the village seemed afraid. They just said that after the attack the rebels just vanished. But with the attack so close, and the message, we believe that the next attack will happen here.” I consider his words.

“We need to increase the security in the gardens and gates, and start to look for the past of everyone who is hired. The information of their families should be confidential, so if the rebels knew where they lived, this information must have been leaked from inside.” 

“You think we have a spy?” Lord Edwards asks, a bit scared.

“Possible more than one. If the rebels want to take us down, the smart thing would be to put someone inside, to spill our secrets and tell our agendas.” 

I see Snow moving behind me, looking uncomfortable. I ask myself if he knew someone that lives on the Cloisters. He seemed worried earlier, maybe he’s afraid for some friend.

We keep our meeting for long hours, trying to come up with better plans to avoid a rebel attack and to save more lives. Once I’m back in my room, Soldier Weasley is already there to change the shift with Snow. I just give them a good night, without energy to do anything else, not even have dinner. 

So, I lay on my bed and luckily sleep without dreaming about anything else.

Chapter Text

Chapter 03

 Simon

The days start to pass, and I get even more confused. My opinion about the nobles, especially the prince, is changing every day. And every day it changes to something better. He’s not the person I thought of before. He’s kind to everyone, cares about the people, all of them, not just the rich, treats everyone who works inside the castle the same and I can see he’ll be a better leader than his father. He already is.

I still don’t know what to think. I no longer think he’s faking it, he wouldn’t be that good. So, the information I had about him must be wrong. I don’t know if Davy said something wrong or someone told him the wrong things, all I know is that what I thought I knew was wrong all this time.

Davy always showed so much resentment against the noble, that part of me thinks that he might have exaggerated a few things. I still think he was right about the king though. The few times I saw him, made me assure that he was not a good man. And also that his son was very different from him. 

I’ve tried to find a way to communicate with Davy, but honestly, what would I report? That the king was an asshole? That his son was not what he told me? That the girls were not being kept here as hostages and all of them seemed to enjoy it? Even about the last rebel attack, I couldn’t say anything. Everyone already knew about what had happened, and the only thing I could say was that, again, the prince acted in a way that I didn’t expect.  

It’s not that now I like him or I want to be his friend. But I think I’m starting to respect him and to expect the day when he'll replace his father. 

The Selection was happening without anything too exciting to say. The prince always has at least one meal with the girls, and last week, he went on a lot of dates to get to know them all. He talks to me sometimes and asks my opinion about some of them. I don’t know if he talks like that with his other guard, but I think it is nice. 

It’s nice to talk to him. He has a nice voice and seems to care about what I have to say. Even when I talk to him like he wasn't the prince, sometimes it's easy to forget he is noble, and the future king. And he seems to like that. 

I’m waiting outside his room, a week after I came to the castle, thinking about a lot of things. I’m so lost in my thoughts that I almost jump when the door opens behind me, revealing the prince.

“Good morning, Snow.” He nods to me.

“Good morning, your highness.” He wrinkles his nose like he doesn’t like the title, or me saying the title. “I think you lost breakfast, your highness,” I say checking the time on the clock on my left.

"I already had it, before your shift started.” He says. “I have a date now with one of the girls.” He sighs.

“Something is wrong?” I ask.

“No.” He huffs. “I just have to send some girls home today. The counsellors and my father are pressuring me to do it, they say people will get bored if I don’t act soon.” He is clearly upset about it.

“I thought you were the one who decided these things about the competition.” I frown.

“Technically it is, but they like to give their opinions and say how I should do everything.” He shrugs like he doesn't care, but somehow I can see he does. 

“Even about something that will change your life?”

“Oh, especially about something that will change my life.” He sounds tired like it's something he doesn't like to talk about. But I get him. It must be tiring having someone telling you what to do and criticising every move you give.

“That sucks.” He only nods.

We could have kept talking, but we reach a door, and the prince knocks. Some seconds later, Penelope opens the door. She smiles at the prince and then at me. 

“Good morning, your highness.” The prince smiles at her. “Good morning, Simon.” She says to me, and I see the prince frowning.

“Good morning, Penelope,” I say, nodding and smiling at her.

“You both know each other?” The prince asks both of us.

“Yes, we were friends when we were kids.” She says, and I can see something in her eyes. Could she know that I’m still with the Mummers? 

“Actually, I was your shadow,” I say, remembering how it was when we were friends. “Wherever she went, I was behind.” She laughs.

“What a coincidence.” The prince says smiling too. He has a nice smile.

We start to walk, heading to the gardens. Penelope and the prince talk, and they include me in their conversation, which is nice. I see the prince looking weirdly at me, and I think that maybe he’s jealous of my relationship with Penelope.

As on the other dates, I stay behind inches away from where they sit and talk. I’m here to protect them, but I shouldn’t listen to their conversation. So, I keep my position, just seeing them, as they talk about something I don’t know.

 Baz

Penelope is talking, but I’m not listening. I’m trying to, but I keep staring at Snow, who is a few inches behind her. Away enough to not hear what we are saying. 

I still don’t know what to think of him. He’s different from the other guards, he talks to me like I’m a normal person, and hears me when I’m so stressed that I end up talking more than I intended to. I think it's nice having someone to talk to, other than the girls, even if it was dangerous for me to be friends with someone so handsome as him. 

Especially when I’m, probably, a bit attracted to him. I mean, I barely know the guy, but there’s something about him, other than his looks that attracts me. 

"Are you even listening to me?" Penelope's words take me back from my thoughts.

"What?" I look at her.

"What are you looking at?" She asks, turning and looking around. 

“I’m just thinking that it is a coincidence that you and Soldier Snow know each other.” I made an excuse.

“Yeah, it’s great to see him, I used to wonder where he was.”

“You think he’s trustworthy? Or you think he’ll tell what he hears to my father?” She looks at me again.

“Well,” I see that she is looking for the right words. “I always trusted him when we were kids. I don’t know how he is now, but I don’t think he would run to your father and tell him something.” I see a confused look on her face. “He did something that made you not trust him?”

“No.” I look at Snow, that luckily is not looking our way. “But there’s something odd about him that I don’t know what it is.”

“From my experience, I know that he’s not a bad person, he has the heart in the right place.” She is not helping me. Talking about his heart and this stuff just makes him more attractive. 

“Maybe it would be easier if he was a bad person than I wouldn't mind him being so hot.” I only realise that I said that out loud when Penelope looks at me like she solved a puzzle. “I- I didn’t-” I try to say something, but I can’t think of anything to say.

“You -” She starts and pauses like she is thinking in the right words. “Are you -” She stops again.

“Penelope. Penny.” I say the nickname she asked me to call her. I look around and when I’m sure no one is listening I start again. “Yes.” I see that she is shocked by my confirmation. “Yes, I’m gay,” I say in a low voice. “But only a few people know, like almost no one. You can’t tell anyone.” My voice is desperate. 

“Now it makes sense why you always seem so annoyed with the competition, and why you didn’t care about me not feeling anything about you, why you wanted to be friends.” She says, really solving the puzzle. 

“Penny. Please, promise me that you won’t tell anyone.” I asked her again.

"Of course, I won't tell." She sounds offended. "But, your highness -" I cut her.

"Call me Baz, Penny."

"Right, Baz. So, why do the competition if you don't have any interest in the girls?" 

“Isn’t it obvious? I have to marry a girl.” I sigh. “The idea of the competition came from my father. I always thought I would have enough time to think about something. That while the counsellors and my father were looking for princesses and girls with connections, I would find a way of doing what I wanted.” Penny is almost looking at me with pity. “My father found out about me a couple of years ago. Since then, he wanted to make me marry some girl as soon as possible.”

“Why didn't you say no to the Selection?” She’s not judging me, is just curious.

“When he first suggested it, all the counsellors agreed. They all seemed to think that it was a great idea. I felt obligated to agree too, but I thought I had a few years to dissuade them from that. But then my father said they were already making the preparations and we couldn’t walk back. So, we are here now.” She nods.

“I’m sorry. It must be hard, not being able to be who you are.”

“My father said once that our kingdom was progressive, but not enough to accept a king who is married to another man.” She takes my hand and squeezes it.

“I don’t know about that, I think that as long as you were a good king, most people wouldn’t mind who you are married with. But I’m sorry, really. I can’t understand completely, but I can imagine how bad it is.”

“Thank you.”

“So, that’s why you’re so interested in Simon?” I see that she is smirking. “You like him?”

“What? Like him? No. I don't even know him. We just talked a few times. Of course, I don’t like him. He’s just handsome, that’s all. If anything, I just find him attractive. Which doesn’t mean that I like him.” I feel my cheeks blushing and Penny smiles.

“Yeah, I completely believe in you.” Her words are pure irony.

“I’m starting to rethink my decision in having you as my friend.” She laughs, but then stops and sighs.

“What are you going to do about the competition?”

“Keep it on. I don’t have anything to do besides that. Today, I’ll send more girls home. And will start to see who will fit as my wife.” The words have a weird taste in my mouth.

“Do I need to worry?” I shake my head.

“No, if it’s okay with you, I would like to keep you here until the end. I’ll need someone to talk to, and I like your friendship.” She smiles.

“I’m okay with it. I like this friendship too. And even though it was by accident that you told me your secret, I’m happy to know it. You can trust me.” I smile at her.

“I know. Thank you.” I see that we’ve been here for a while. “We need to go back, I want to talk with the girls before lunch. Come on.” I stand and extend my hand to her. 

We walk back, with Snow behind us, and I can’t stop thinking about what Penny said. That the people, most of them at least, wouldn’t mind having a gay king. Could she be right? 

And also, her question about me liking Snow was bothering me. I don’t know him enough to like him, and I was thinking that it was just an attraction. But, could it be more?

As we walk back to the castle, the questions inside my head only get louder, and somehow I can feel Snow’s eyes on my back. I’m too aware of his presence now. 

“The girls are in the big hall on the first floor, are you going to talk to them now?” Penny asks me.

“Yes, I know that I said I don’t want the competition, but I hate this part,” I say lowering my voice. 

“Yeah, I guess I’ll miss some girls, but all of us almost celebrated when you sent Samantha home last week. On our first day here, she was already saying that she would marry you for sure.” She rolls her eyes.

“Well, if I have to marry one of you, then it’s better to choose someone I like at least a bit.” She nods agreeing with me. “I think it’s better if you walk in the hall by yourself first if we walk in together they might think that you helped me choose who will leave.”

“Okay. See you in a few minutes then.” She makes a reverence, in case someone is looking, and leaves.

“Help me with something Snow,” I say turning to him.

“Sure, your highness.” He seems nervous. 

“I’m sending another five girls home today, in a few minutes actually. I already know who four of these girls are, but the fifth I’m still not sure. I’m between one who doesn't have a single drop of personality and another that has a bit of personality but clearly just wants the crown.” I shouldn’t be talking to him, asking him for advice. But I like that, and I was still in doubt.

“Why not send both of them home?” He asks. 

“Well, the counsellors want the competition to go faster, but they think I shouldn't send home too many girls at once. I already sent ten girls home, so five now it’s good.”

“It’s weird that you don’t have control of this competition, I mean you’re the one who will get married at the end.” He frowns. 

“Yeah, but it’s not how it works.” I sigh. “I think I’ll send the one who wants the crown. The other will leave at the next elimination.” I say, and see that Snow was staring at me. “What?”

“You never seemed too much interested in the competition, actually it looks like you hate it. Before I thought you wanted this, but now I’m not sure.” His blue eyes are scanning my face.

“Yeah, well, you wouldn’t believe what I really want. And how difficult it is for me to get what I want.” I don't know why I said that. But I can’t avoid telling him what I’m thinking, and I can’t look away from him.

“I thought princes had everything they wanted.” He says, his eyes still locked in mine. 

“Almost never.” I finally look away. One person already knew my secret, I didn’t want to turn into two. “At least I don’t.” I recompose my posture. “But let’s go. I have five girls to send home.” He has a strange look, but nods and walks with me.

We reach the hall some minutes later, the girls get excited when they see me, but I also see some worried looks.

“Good morning girls.” I compliment them. “I think we are ready to have our lunch. You can go to the dining hall.” They stand. “But I'd like to talk with Susan, Caroline, Keris, Trixie and Rachel.” The girls who I called seemed to know what was going to happen.

The other ones leave the hall looking relieved, and don’t look back to the ones who stayed. 

“Well girls, I’m afraid I’ll have to send you home. I know you all wanted to stay, but I don’t think there is any chemistry between us,” And you’re not the guy behind me. I mean, any guy at all. “And I think it would be better not to raise your hopes even more.” I almost repeated the same words I said to the other girls, because honestly, what else could I say?

Three girls start to cry and the other two just stare at me, like they were waiting for me to say that it was a joke. 

“You can go pack your things and then say goodbye to the others. I’m really sorry.” I say and leave before it could get weird.

I walk out of the hall and go to the dining hall to have lunch with the others. Before we could get there, another guard comes to take place for Snow, while he goes to have his lunch. I don’t talk with the other guard like I do with Snow. I never do. I’m always polite, but he’s the only one who works here that I talk with. And I like doing it. 

I feel all the eyes on me while I walk into the dining hall and sit at my place. I don’t talk to anyone, just eat, wanting to leave this place as soon as possible. Actually, I want to leave the castle today. To just stay away for a bit. 

When I finish my lunch, I walk out of the dining hall, already knowing what I want to do this afternoon. I see that Snow is already at my door when I reach the corridor. The other guard goes away, leaving just me and Snow.

“I have plans this afternoon. Outside the castle.” I said to him.

“Okay, I’ll request more guards then.” I shake my head.

“No, there’s no need for more guards.” He looks to me like I’ve said something crazy.

“Of course you need more guards.” He argues. 

“It’s okay, I won’t take too long. There’s no danger.” I shrug.

“The rebel attacks are becoming more frequent, and if I remember right, in the meeting last week you said that they want to kill you.” He crosses his arm. “You leave the castle with only one guard, it’s the perfect opportunity for them to attack, and I won’t have your death on my hands.” He looks like he will fight me. It’s kinda hot. 

“No one will even know that I left. The rebels won’t know.” I roll my eyes.

“You will need at least a driver to get you out of the castle. What if he is a spy? You said that there are spies inside the castle. They could tell the rebels.” I roll my eyes again. “I’ll call more guards, or we’re not leaving.” He’s really stubborn. It was a new side of him.

“You know that I’m the prince right? I could just leave without you.” I say also crossing my arms.

“And as soon as you turn your back to me I’ll call all the captains and your father if I have to. But if you quit being stubborn-”

“I’m the stubborn one?” I cut him.

“If you quit being stubborn” He talks again. “I’ll talk with a captain and get only a few guards. Just to get you protected enough without calling too much attention.” I consider it. 

“Two guards,” I say.

“Five guards, and me.” Really, really stubborn.

“Three guards with you.” 

“Three guards and me.” He offers again, and the look on his face, so confident, tells me he won.

“Fine.” I huff and he almost smiles. It’s cute, and I don’t care about losing.

“I’ll talk with Captain Mac then, and meet you back here in twenty minutes, your highness.” His voice is a bit ironic, but again I don’t care. I like it.

I go inside my room and change my clothes, thinking in Snow’s words. I can’t contain a laugh, thinking about the way he was speaking to me. Never, any of my guards or maids refused to follow my orders, and of course, neither of them gave me an order. But that gave me a weird and nice feeling. It was nice that Snow treated me like a normal person. At least most of the time. 

Some minutes later, I step outside my room in time to see Snow coming back with another three guards, just like he said. He comes on my way and the others stay behind.

“It wasn't easy to convince Captain Mac to give only three guards, but a deal it’s a deal.” He says and I see a bit of amusement on his face.

“I still don’t think I need all of this, but a deal it’s a deal,” I repeat his words. “Come on.”

I walk in front of him, followed by Snow and the other three guards. When we get outside the castle, we see two cars waiting for us. 

“I’ll go with you in the second car, in case something happens, and the others will go in the first car. Unless you want more guards with you.” Snow says.

“No, only you is enough.” He nods and I turn to the driver. “I’ll be going to the orphanage in the White Chapel.” White Chapel was another village close by, and the orphanage there was the biggest one, with more kids and less money. I always liked to visit the kids, to do something for them. 

I walk into the second car and see Snow going to the front seat. 

“You have to come here,” I say pointing to the seat beside me. He doesn't have to come by my side. But I want to keep talking to him. 

“We’re going to an orphanage?” He asks when we pass the castle gates.

“Yes, I like to visit the kids, once in a while,” I say.

“Why?” I look at him and there’s something in his eyes that I couldn’t understand. He was so hard to read sometimes. 

“My mum used to take me when I was little, it helped me remember that there were too many unfortunate children around the kingdom. It helped me to see that beyond the castle gates there was too much poverty, and I was a lucky kid. Today it helps me to see the reality of my people. It helps me to understand things and makes me see that they need me. It’s a reminder that we need to do something for them.” He just looks at me for a few seconds. I see a bit of surprise in his eyes, and something close to hope. 

“I have to say, you’re very different from what I thought.” He looks away. I want to ask what he did think of me, but he keeps talking. “I think it’s nice that you do this. I bet the kids love your visits, love the glimpse of the prince.” He huffed a laugh. “It can be really rough in an orphanage, these things must make it better. A bit easier.” I can’t stop looking at him, and something in his words makes me wonder.

“Have you -” How do I ask this? “Have you lived in an orphanage?” He looks at me again, those blue eyes shining with the light.

“Yes. Until I was eleven.” He doesn’t explain more, and I don’t ask either, I don’t want to pressure him. 

“I -” I’m about to say something, ‘sorry’ or some shit close to that, but the driver cuts me, telling me that we arrived. “Let’s go then.”

Snow nods to me and leaves the car, waiting outside with the door open while I leave it too. 

Simon

The kids cheered when the prince appeared in the main room. It’s impossible not to remember my days back in an orphanage. How little used to make me happy. I never stayed in this orphanage, but it’s quite similar to the ones I’ve been to. 

I never allow myself to think too much about those days. It all ended when Davy found me, so I don’t think I need to keep remembering how those years were. How was not having anyone in my life, or enough food to eat, and nice toys to play with. 

When I heard that the prince was coming to an orphanage, and why he used to do that, I was even more impressed. It’s hard to remember what my mission is when I’m by the prince’s side. I don’t feel that it is right to spy on him and tell the Mummers about what he told me. 

I know that some things he told me could be used against him, against them, especially the fights that often happen between him and his father. But I can’t do it. I won’t be able to tell Davy that. Not what the prince confided in me, or what I heard. He is a good person. I can see that, and somehow I don’t want to betray the bit of trust he has on me. 

I watch as he talks to the kids and plays with them. He’s natural with all of them, so comfortable, just being a normal guy. Not the heir prince, not the future king. Just a guy coming to visit the kids. Something is twisting inside me, and I don’t know what it is. 

Maybe it’s because of what I thought about Davy and the Mummers, about telling them what the prince told me. 

Perhaps I could just walk away from this mission. But if I do, I would have to leave the castle too. There wouldn't be another reason for me to keep being a guard. But thinking about leaving the castle, and not being the prince’s guard anymore made me sad.

It was madness that a week ago I didn't even liked the job, the place or the guy, but now thinking about leaving it all behind was …. Well, not good. I don’t think I can just leave. I don’t know why, but I didn’t want to leave.  

A woman who works in the orphanage appears to take the kids to eat, and the prince comes to my side.

“I hope it’s okay for you to be here.” He says.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay” I shrug. “What does the king think of your visits here?” I ask.

“He doesn’t know. I never told him, and he probably would say it’s a waste of time.” He turns to me quickly. “I don’t mean that - He is not -” He sighs. “My father is complicated. My mother was the one who knew how to rule. And he won’t stay in that position for too long. Soon I’ll need to take the position.” He looks a bit scared.

“I think you are already doing a great job. I believe you’ll be a great king.” The look he gives me makes something twist again inside me and makes me feel a bit hot. 

“You think so?” 

“Just the fact that you’re asking shows that.” I smile a bit at him, it’s so easy to talk to him, to be honest. 

“Thank you.” He smiles back, and I realise that he hasn't smiled at me before, and now I want to see more.  

I want to keep talking to him. It’s nice to have a conversation with him. But before I could say another word a little kid appeared, calling the prince to show his toys. 

So, I just go back to watching him and thinking about what I should do. 

I should keep my mission, and report everything to Davy and the Mummers, I’m not ungrateful for everything they did to me. But I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to tell all those things I heard, especially the things the prince only told me. 

It was easier to do that, to promise to do that when I didn’t know him, but now that I know he’s not a bad person, it’s impossible. I don’t want to do that. 

A woman, I believe is the owner of the orphanage, stops by my side and some minutes later, the prince comes to talk to her. 

“Your highness is an honour to receive you again.” She smiles at him.

“It’s an honour being here.” He smiles back. “How are the donations? I heard that this month came less than the others.” She nods.

“Yes, unfortunately, this month we barely had enough to buy food for the kids. But we’re managing and I'm sure we’ll be able to make it work.”

“I’d love to help, but let’s talk in a private place, away from the kids.” She agrees with him and takes him to an office behind us. 

I stay in the main room, while the kids are playing. Being here, seeing these kids, just makes me remember how everything was when I was one of them. I don’t want to think about it, but it’s impossible not to. I see a kid who is apart from the big group, playing alone and I know that years ago I was that kid. Always alone, playing without the others. 

I’m still lost in my thoughts when the prince comes back to my side and talks to me.

“Everything okay?” Is his voice that brings me back to reality.

“Yes.” I look away from the kid. “Just memories.” I shake my head trying to expel the thoughts. 

“I’m sorry. If I knew before I would have brought another guard.” He seems genuinely worried. 

“No, that’s okay. It's been many years.” He nods, but I can see that he’s not fully convinced.  

“Let’s go then. I want to go to another orphanage before going back to the castle.” I nod and he starts to say goodbye to the kids, and he promises that he’ll be back soon.

“Thank you so much, your highness.” The woman that was talking with the prince before, says. “Your generous donation will help us for a good time.” He smiles at her.

“Don’t thank me, it’s the least I can do. And please, if you need something, just contact me okay?” She thanks him again and we leave.

Besides the visits, he also does donations, and not for the media or to show off. Just because he clearly cares. Every day that passes, he becomes, even more, a prince charming from the fairy tales. 

“The car is outside, on the next street, I’ll call them,” I say.

“No, we can walk, it's close.” He argues.

“I don’t think it would be wise -”

“Snow, I have the bloody three guards you wanted and yourself. I think I’m safe to walk in such a short way.” 

“Fine, but you’re staying in the middle.” Before he argues, I’m already telling two of the guards to walk in front of him, while I step back and walk with the other guard, protecting the prince’s back.

We leave the orphanage and walk for a few minutes before the prince turns to me.

“See Snow,” He says when we spot the car. “There was nothing to worry about-” Before he could finish his sentence, we heard a loud noise and then the guard beside me fell on the floor.

It takes us a few seconds to realise what is happening. I look at the guard, dead on the ground with a bullet on his head, and in the same moment, I throw myself on the prince, taking him to the ground, and pulling him behind a random car. 

People start to scream, and the two guards that were in front of us start to shoot against some people that were invading the streets, rebels, with guns in their hands. The only thing I can think of is that I have to take the prince out of here. 

I see an alley behind us and see that the guards are still in their position, shooting and protecting the prince, and me. 

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Yeah, you?” He sounds a bit scared. But well, I’m also pretty scared now. 

“I’m fine. I have to take you out of here. We need to get to the alley, okay?” I point and he nods. 

I kneel to see what’s happening now, and when I do this I see one of the rebels' faces. He looks a bit familiar, but before I could think any further, he shoots and another guard falls dead on the floor. I take off my own gun and prepare myself to shoot.

“On three, we run to the alley.” He nods again. “One. Two. Three.” 

I stand first, taking his hand and pulling him with me. I tell him to run, and let him go first. A bullet hits the wall a few inches from my head, making me look to the streets and see another rebel coming in our direction. 

I don't even think about it. I just shoot. 

When the man falls on the floor, I recognise him. 

Sebastian, one of the leaders of the Mummers. That makes me stop for a second. What was a member of the Mummers doing with a group of rebels?

I look up and see another man looking in my direction, and I also recognise him. Thomas, another member of the Mummers.

What was happening?

“What are you doing?” I hear the prince’s voice, and feel when he pulls my arm, making me turn and run again.

“Sorry,” I tell him, still not knowing what just happened. 

“What do we do now?” He’s about to freak out. 

“We need to find a car and go back to the castle as fast as we can.” I look around. “I don’t think they’re following us yet, but they will. If we follow this alley, we will leave in the street behind and then we take any car we find.” He nods again. “So, let’s run.” 

I take his hand again and pull him through the alley. I keep the gun on my other hand, ready to shoot anyone who comes in front of me. 

My head was spinning. But I couldn’t think about anything now. I just have to make sure that the prince is safe.

When we reach the street, I leave the prince behind and look both ways to see if it's safe. When I see that it’s clear, I pull him again and run, until the driver of the castle stops in front of us. 

“Thank God.” The man says when he sees the prince. “I was afraid the worst had happened, your highness, come inside, I’ll take you to the castle.” 

We don’t need to be told twice. We get inside the car, and only when the door is closed, it's that I see that my hands are shaking a bit. 

“The other guards?” The driver asks.

“All dead,” I say, thinking that I was almost dead as well. 

The driver curses but doesn't ask anything. I close my eyes for a second, and then I look to the prince beside me. He has his head leaned on the seat, and his eyes are closed. His hands were shaking pretty bad.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Yeah. Just scared.” He admits. "You?"

“Me too,” I confess, making him open his eyes. 

“They never got so close like today.” He says, and I see real fear in his eyes. “Thank you, if it weren't for you, I would be -” He stops talking and clenches his fists, trying to make the shakes stop. I put my hand on top of his.

“I never saw an attack from this close either.” His look is on our hands. “And I’ve never killed anyone before.” I didn't think about it. “It’s worse than I thought.” 

Especially because I knew him. And he knew me, I know he recognised me and yet, he was ready to shoot. 

I look outside the window and see that luckily, we’re arriving at the castle. 

“I’m sorry.” He says, and I shake my head. "I know I'm a target and -"

“It’s not your fault.” I cut him and look at him again, seeing that he’s already looking at me. “Just promise something.”

“What?” He seems curious.

“Next time, don’t argue with me. Just take the damn extra guards.” He huffs a laugh.

“I will, I promise.” Even though we just passed through a terrifying experience, I smile at him. Relieved to be alive, and to see him alive either. 

As we cross the castle gates, I allow myself to close my eyes and think.

Why were two members of the Mummers, high members, with the rebels? Trying to kill the prince and me? Killing those guards? Could they be working for the rebels all at long, hiding from Davy and the group?

The Mummers always had peaceful politics, they always told me that they were different from the rebels, so the two I saw today must be lying to the rest of them, right? It must be that. Otherwise, the only other answer was ... Well, not possible.

The other answer would imply that they all lied to me all this time. That Davy manipulated me and told me lies all these years. 

It couldn’t be that. It's just not possible, not at all. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 04

Baz  

My heart is still beating faster than ever. It was still hard to believe what had just happened. The rebels already tried to attack inside the castle sometimes, but luckily, I was never around. 

Seeing them so close, listening to the bullets hit the walls around me, and the man in front of me was madness. It was terrible. If Snow wasn't there, I would be dead by now. I was still reliving the moment when he threw himself on me, throwing me - us - on the floor. Saving my life from the next bullet that would, for sure, hit the right target.

He is still sitting on my side, inside the car. He has his eyes closed, and I know (he told me) that he also was scared with what just happened, of how close both of us were to die. 

His skin is a bit pale, and his hair is sticking to his forehead, and it almost makes me reach him and push his curls away, but I control myself. I also almost ask if he is okay, and then I remember that I already asked, so I keep my mouth shut and just look at him.

He looks even more lovely in this light, even though we just had a traumatizing experience. And I allow myself to look at him while nobody’s seeing. 

When the car reaches the front door of the castle, Snow opens his eyes and looks at me.

“I think we have to call the counsellors and my father,” I say.

“It wouldn’t be better if you passed through the hospital wing first? To check if you’re really fine.” There is a hint of concern in his voice that I like to hear.

“I’m okay Snow, it’s more important to tell them what happened.” He seems to think, but nods.

We leave the car and right after we walk into the castle, two counsellors come running in our way. 

“Your highness, we heard just now, is it true, the rebels attacked you?” Lord Smith asks. 

“Unfortunately, yes. I think it’d be better to reunite the other counsellors and my father so we can talk about it.” 

“Yes, let’s go to the meeting room. I already requested a meeting as soon as I heard about it.”

We walk with the counsellors until we reach the meeting room. All the counsellors and my father are already there.

“Basilton.” My father almost yells when he sees me and comes in my direction. “I heard just now, are you okay?” He seems genuinely worried, and that makes me think when it was the last time he was concerned about me? 

His arms are almost around me, and he’s looking for any wounds. That almost makes me tear up a bit, it is easy to forget that he loves and cares about me when he acts the way he usually does. 

“I’m fine, father. I didn’t get hurt.”

“I was so worried.” He almost whispers, but I listen. 

“I’m fine,” I repeat. “Actually, I’m fine thanks to Soldier Snow, he saved me.” My father looks behind me, where Snow is standing. 

“Thank you.” It’s his only words, but I can tell he really means it. “Now, tell us what happened.” 

We sit, Snow is put in a chair beside me, and we tell everything that happened. As I thought, it was a rebel attack. We don’t know how they knew that I was outside the castle, but that doesn't matter right now. 

They talk about increasing security again, but I’m not paying attention. 

“Go rest son, you’ve been through a lot today. Tomorrow we will tell you what we decide.” My father says and I nod, feeling that I really just need to lay down and sleep. “You too, Soldier Snow, take the rest of the day off, I’ll send another guard to stay in your position until tomorrow.”

“Thank you, your majesty,” Snow says. 

We both stand and walk out of the room. For a few minutes we don’t talk about anything, just walk in silence, until we reach my door.

“Thank you again, Snow.” He shakes his head like he doesn’t want me to say those words again.

“I’m just happy that we both came back, safe and alive.” I nod. “I’ll leave you to rest now, I think our day had too many events already. But I’m glad you’re okay, your highness.” He’s looking me in the eye, and I can’t look away.

“I’m too. Glad that you’re okay.” He smiles, but only a bit. “I’m happy that you were there with me, that you’re here in the castle.” I’ll blame what happened for the lack of filter on my words. I feel myself blushing, but if Snow notices, he doesn’t say.

“I’m happy about being here either.” It’s my time to smile, but only for a second. “Good night, or rest of day, your highness.” He bows a bit and leaves.

“Good night, Snow.”

While I watch him leave, I think again about what Penny said to me this morning. She might be right.

I might be liking him too much for my well being. 

    Simon

I walk through the corridors without knowing what to think. What happened? 

The Mummers are involved with the rebels? Did they lie to me all this time? Why send me here, if they would kill me anyway in an attack?

We told everything to the king and his counsellors, how it happened, who were the guards that died, and how many men were there.

I just didn’t tell them that I knew two of those men. How could I? If I did tell them, they would think that I am working with the rebels.

But, if my theories are right and the Mummers are working with the rebels, I’ll have to tell them eventually. To help them to find the rebels. I know that we have to find and end them. Otherwise, the next attack could be here, inside the castle, and more people could get hurt. The girls, the workers, or the prince. And next time, maybe I wouldn’t be able to save him. 

I don’t know why I care about him that much. I mean, he’s a nice guy and will be a great king, but that doesn’t explain why I care about him the way that now, I know that I do. 

I didn’t want him to face the rebels again. They missed the bullet there, but I’m not sure they will next time. Especially if they got a good chance like today.

And I had to find out if my theories were right. I don’t know how I’m gonna do it, but I have to find out. And maybe tell the prince later, even if he hates me after. And I don’t like to think about that. I don’t know why the thought of the prince hating me upsets me so much, but it does. Now that I think about it, it upsets me a lot. 

I have so many thoughts in my head that I’m not even seeing where I’m going. And it’s how I end in the middle of the gardens. I’m about to leave and go back to the right way, to keep walking until my dormitory, when someone calls me. 

“Simon.” I turn and see Penelope. “Sylvia just told the girls about the rebel attack, are you and the prince okay?” She is alone and I almost say that wouldn’t be good if someone saw us talking, but I just nod.

“We’re both okay.” I don’t look at her.

“What happened? You seem weird.” I know I’m too distracted. Too lost in my thoughts.

“Well everything that just happened, it was -” I breathe a little slower. “Seeing those other guards die, and killing someone and finding out -” I stop and she takes my hand.

“Come on, sit here.” She pulls me to a bench. “Do you wanna talk? Because I’m here to listen.” I shake my head.

We stay in silence for a while, but then I think about something.

“Penelope, why did your family leave the Mummers?” She looks a bit surprised by my question and looks around us to see if someone is listening. “I remember that one day you were there and the next one you were gone.” She sighs.

“It's a long story.” 

“I have time.” Penelope’s parents always defended life. I remember some discussion of the group and they were the ones who always were against violence and the rebels. Maybe the reason that they left is the answer to my question.

“Okay, what I'm about to tell you is really serious." I nodded to her a bit worried. "Well, my parents were part of that group for a long time. Even before I was born. They were all friends from school, they had the same ideas and they thought about forming the Mummers because they were all sick of the way Watford was ruled.”

“I didn’t know the group was this old.”

“Yeah, my mum says that it was fun at the beginning, they talked about ideals and revolutions, and how they would do that. How they would change the kingdom. But the time started to pass and Davy and some other leaders started to get more aggressive. A couple of times they suggested a more aggressive approach, but the rest of the group didn’t agree. They wanted to do things peacefully. The way that the group was founded.”

“But Davy always acted so non-aggressive with me.” He never even raised his voice at me. That is what makes everything so hard to believe.

“I’m just telling you what my mum told me.” I nod to her to keep going. “Well, they kept doing protests, peaceful ones, and they were always looking for ways to change the politics, and in the middle of it, Queen Natasha was crowned and they hoped that some things would change.” She looks away. “And things did start to change, the queen even requested a meeting with all the groups that were against the crown, including the Mummers to hear their complaints, but Davy and the others didn’t want to go. Half of the group asked them to change their minds but they were the leaders, so the meeting didn’t happen.” 

It’s hard to believe that Davy was that guy, the same man that raised me and put ideas on my mind. Was I wrong in believing in him for all this time?

“The years kept passing, and a lot of people started to leave. My parents were no longer supporting the Mummers ideas, and they tried to leave too, but Davy always pulled them back. Until one day the rebels appeared and the attacks started. The funny thing was that the attacks always happened to be in the same place that the Mummers were, and the people who were attacked were the same that the leaders criticise. My mum confronted Davy, asking if they were acting as rebels, doing the things that the rest of the group didn’t agree with, but he denied, of course.” She stops for a while.

I take that pause to process everything she’s telling me. But it’s too much. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. 

“Some months later, the queen died, and no one ever found out what happened exactly, but many people blame the rebels for it. The thing is,” she leans a bit and lowers her voice. “Davy - after the group insists a lot - agreed to meet the queen, and the accident that led to her death happened on the same day he was at the castle. There were too many coincidences. My parents were afraid for me and my brothers, and again they tried to leave, but Davy accused them of betraying the Mummers, and that they were seduced by the nobles. Said that years ago another member of the group had left too and now was living with them, spending their money, and having all the luxury of the royals.” She shrugs.

I want to talk, to ask things, but I can’t. Penelope was basically telling me that the Mummers are the rebels, at least a part of them. And that Davy is a part of this. And that he probably was part of the murder of the queen. The prince’s mum.

“Anyway, my parents knew that they had to be smart, so they waited, and it was when you showed up. Davy brought you in and my mum was afraid of what he would do with you, but he seemed to care, genuinely about you. So, believing that he wouldn’t harm you, we left in the middle of the night. My parents left a letter to Davy saying that they had files linking the Mummers to the rebels and that if anything happened with anyone of our family, that file would be sent to the castle. And just like this, we never heard of the Mummers again.” She finishes.

I take a second to find my voice again. 

“So, you’re telling me that the Mummers are the rebels? Do your parents know that for sure? Davy works for the rebels?” I’m so confused. 

“Well, the files that my mum has doesn’t prove anything, it was a bluff, but they believed in that. My mum was smart enough to gather proofs and connect the dots.” I close my eyes and lean against the wall. “We never told anyone because they could come back and hurt our family. So, we just kept quiet, especially because the things my parents had, didn’t prove too much.”

“It can’t be.” Even though everything makes sense, it can’t be true.

“Simon, what’s happening?” She sounds worried.

“Nothing, I -” I feel my breathing accelerate. 

“You can tell me anything, okay? I won’t tell anyone.” I think for a second. I could tell her, I know I can trust her. “Are you still working with the Mummers?”

“I-” Tell the truth or not? “I’m here because of them,” I say. “Davy sent me here.”

“Oh, Simon.” She sounds even more worried. “If someone finds out you’ll be in big trouble.”

“Let me explain.” She nods. “I never left the Mummers, until now. While I grew up Davy always kept telling me that the nobles were the worst people in the world and that someone needed to take them down.”

“That sounds like him.”

“Yeah, well but I believed in him. In every word. He kept telling me that the group was working for peace and that someday I’d be a big part of it. And I wanted to help. I never thought they could have something to do with the rebels. I didn’t know.” She holds my hand. “When the selection was announced, Davy called me and asked me to become a guard, to spy on the king and the prince. But in these last days, I saw that the prince was nothing like Davy said. He is good. And I believe he’ll be a good king. Nothing that Davy told me about the prince was true.”

“I know, I was a bit surprised when I met him too.”

“Today, in the attack, I recognised two men. I killed one of them. He was ready to shoot me and the prince, I didn't even think about it, I just shot.”

“You have to tell the prince. This will help them to find the rebels.”

“I know, but I’m afraid of how the prince will react. He trusts in me, at least a bit, and after this, he can decide that I’m not trustworthy anymore and send me to another part of the castle, and I don’t want to go anywhere else.” Penny smiles a bit. “Why are you smiling?” She shakes her head.

“Nothing, just remembering something. Simon, be honest with him. Tell me what you just told me. He’s good as you said and fair. He’ll listen, and will consider that you’re telling now and not some months away.” I don’t say anything. “If you want, tell him that I have the other part of the facts, and I’ll tell him what I just told you.”

“Would you risk that?”

“I think it’s time for us to take the risk. And the prince will listen and understand. But only if you tell him now and not in the next attack.” I nod. I know it’s the right thing to do. But again, the thought of having the prince hating me was just not good. At all. 

“I’ll think about this.” I look at her. “I can’t believe that I was with the rebels all this time.”

“You didn’t know.” Penny tries to comfort me.

“Yeah, but I can’t stop thinking that if it weren't for this attack, maybe I wouldn't ever find out. And I didn’t tell Davy anything yet, I didn't meet him after I came to the castle. And since I started working with the prince, I was having doubts whether I should tell Davy what the prince told me or not. But what if I wasn't put with the prince? The only thing that made me change my mind, at least a bit, was to know him and see what he’s different from what I thought.”

“Simon -”

“If I was somewhere else, perhaps I would keep working with Davy and hating the prince and all of them.”

“Simon.” I look at Penny again. “Relax okay? You had a terrible day, so just relax. Think a bit and then go talk to the prince.”

“Yeah, I think I will. But now I need to rest. I’ll talk to the prince tomorrow. ” 

“Okay, but don’t blame yourself, Simon, you didn’t know.” I nod to her, even though I am blaming myself.

If I had found this before, I could have prevented the attack that happened today. 

 Baz

I barely sleep at night.

All I can think about is the attack. And Snow, saving me. 

When I do sleep, my dreams are all about this too, and sometimes the dream changes and I see myself dying, or Snow dying, and sometimes both of us dying. 

I wake up before the sun rises and don’t sleep again. I try to read a book and to stop thinking at all, but it’s hard. Eventually, I asked my maid to bring my breakfast, and I distracted myself with the food. And with what I would do today.

Maybe I should invite another girl to date. But I couldn’t think how I would focus on anything besides my thoughts. 

I think I won't leave my room today, but staying inside looking at these walls would drive me insane. I guess I could just do nothing the whole day. Maybe stay in the cottage that was inside the castle grounds. The place was huge, we had a lot of small houses and cottages spread throughout the field. 

I put on the first clothes that I find, and then I open the door. Snow is already there, and with the sound of my door opening, he turns to me. He looks like he also didn’t sleep at night. But he’s still the most handsome person I’ve seen.

“Good morning, your highness.” I hate when he says my title, just makes me remember that the attraction I have for him, or whatever is happening, can’t happen. At all. 

“Good morning, Snow. I hope you had a good night of sleep?” I ask, even though I know he didn’t.

“Didn’t get much sleep last night.” He rubs the back of his neck and clears his throat. “I need to talk something with you, your highness. It’s important.” His words make me frown a bit.

“Something happened?” What could he say to me?

“I’ve something to tell you, I should have done it before, but I didn't know until yesterday, so ...” I’m getting even more confused. “Anyway, I need to tell you something, but it has to be somewhere anyone can’t listen.”

“I- Uh-” He’s not making any sense. “Okay, come in, no one will hear us in my room.” I enter my room and leave the door open for him. 

I see that his cheeks are red when he steps inside. For a second he just looks to my room, but then he looks at me.

“Okay.” He says, and I can see he’s nervous. 

“Here, let’s sit.” I point at the chairs close to the window. He nods and we sit.

“Okay.” He repeats. “I’m about to tell you something, but I need you to hear everything first before saying anything okay?” I nod. “Well, as I told you yesterday, I spent all my childhood in orphanages. Until one day, when I was eleven, a man saw me in the street, I was out to buy some things for the orphanage, and he picked me up. He never introduced himself as a father or anything like that, but he served as a mentor to me through these years.” I don’t know where he wants to go with this. “Anyway, in these last seven years that I stayed with him, I always heard about how much he hated the nobles and the royal family. And how we should do something to take them out. Take you out.” 

He stops for a second and as he asked, I don’t say anything. I can see he’s a bit embarrassed, but I still don’t know where he’s going with this conversation.

“This was the main conversation we always had. Both of us and the rest.”

“The rest?” I feel like I’m losing something. But he nods.

“He is one of the leaders of ‘The Mummers.” I recognise the name. “I don’t know if you ever heard of it, but it’s a group of people who are against the crown.”

“Are you part of this group?” I think I’m starting to understand.

“Yes. I mean I was.” He says quickly. “Just let me explain.” I nod to him to keep going. “Davy, the man who took me in, always said to me that it was a good group. That we were not like the rebels, and we wanted to do things peacefully.” It’s true, ‘The Mummers’ were one of the groups that were trying to work with us to get changes. “When the Selection was announced, Davy wanted to have an eye inside. He said terrible things about you, the competition, and even suggested that some girls would be here against their will. And even if you wanted to marry one of those girls, no one could do anything.” 

“Are you telling me you’re here as a spy? Is this what you’re doing?” I’m feeling my heart break a bit. 

“At first this was the idea, he said I should apply to be a guard and to come inside and tell him what was happening. I agreed because everything I heard about all of you, especially you, made me so disgusted that I wanted to help. But then, I met you, for real.” His eyes locked in mine. “And you weren't nothing like he told me. I was really surprised, and after my first day here I already started to see that maybe this whole mission was a mistake.” He shakes his head, looking away.  

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I was convincing myself to drop the mission, but a part of me didn’t want to go away. I knew that eventually, I had to tell you, or someone the truth. But I didn’t want you to lose the bit of trust that I think you have in me.” I do. I trust him. Even when I didn’t want to. “But what convinced me to tell you, was the attack yesterday.”

“What about the attack?”

“I recognised two men that were there. The one I killed was one of the leaders of the Mummers.” I see that he’s disturbed with the memory. “I thought a lot about it. About what that meant. And I met Penny in the gardens and we talked. Her parents used to be a part of the group, but they didn’t know they were working with the rebels. And they left when they started to realise the truth. She can explain this part better to you, but basically, the Mummers, at least a part of it, are working with the rebels.”

“What, are you sure?” He nods. There are some tears in his eyes.

“Penny says her mother has some proof. I believe they never said anything for fear. After everything the rebels already did it.”

“That’s insane.” I stand.

“I -” I look at Snow. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I really thought you’re a different person. And I didn’t know that the Mummers were working with the rebels, hurting people.” Some tears fell on his face. “I swear to you, I didn’t know. If I knew, I would never - Those people, they died, and you almost died, and I - I know that I was part of it, but I didn’t know-” He’s starting to talk fast. I sit again.

 “I believe in you.” I place my hand on top of his. I do believe in him. The way he is sounding, so broken, so regretful, makes my heart ache a bit.

"I didn't want to lie, actually I'm a terrible liar, but with everything I heard before, I thought I should risk it, try to do some good." He shrugs. "I didn't tell them anything yet. They didn't try to contact me and I didn't try it either." I nod to him. 

"Thank you for telling me," I say. "For trusting in me." 

"I do, I trust in you. It's funny that I've known you for like a week, but I trust in you more than anyone else now." He smiles a bit, and my heart does a flip in my chest. "I'm really sorry. And I know I broke the trust you had in me, and I'll understand if you don't want me as your guard -" 

"Simon." He shuts with the sound of his name, it's the first time I call him by his first name. "You didn't break my trust. I confess that I am surprised, and I was disappointed when you started talking, but I understand. You were manipulated, it's not your fault." He shakes his head. 

"I shouldn't have accepted this -"

"Simon, if you weren't here we wouldn't have met," I feel my cheeks blushing as he looks at me. "And if we hadn't met, I wouldn't know about the Mummers being part of the rebels. This is big information, we might have a good chance of getting them now. And that will prevent many other deaths." 

“You think so?” He looks a bit more hopeful.

“I do.”

“We should inform the counsellors, right? I can repeat everything I told you.” I shake my head.

“No. You won't tell them anything.”

“But, they need to know -” I cut him.

“And they will, but not from you. If you step there and tell them what you just told me, they will at least arrest you, but my father could execute you as a traitor, especially after the attack yesterday, and I’m not letting anyone hurt you.” I hear my own words and blush once again, but Simon is looking differently at me. “I mean, you saved my life, I won’t let them take yours.” He bites his bottom lip, and I make myself look away. 

“Okay, so what will we do?”

“I will say that I got an anonymous note, telling that the Mummers are involved with the rebels, I’ll tell them that I burned the note because it was too important to put it in a paper. And then we will start to investigate them. Because no matter how important this is, it will be just information, nothing with proof, and I won’t put you or Penny in the middle of this to prove it. But I’ll talk to her before, to gather more information.” He nods. “We should do some normal stuff today, so no one will suspect anything. You think they sent more people inside?”

“I don’t know. They never told me too many things, they used to say that I was a kid, this was the first time they asked for my real help. But Davy and the other leaders are smart. So yes, I would bet that there are more people here. I’d be careful around strangers.”

“Yeah, I think we have to keep looking over our shoulders now.” I stand. “Come on, we have to act normal enough. I’ll talk with Penny later and then tomorrow I’ll call a meeting.” Simon stands too.

“Okay, thank you for hearing me, and for understanding, your highness.” I shake my head.

“Call me Baz.” I really hated when he called me by my title. “My friends always call me Baz.” Not that I have too many friends. 

“We’re friends?” He raises his eyebrow at me, and I can’t not smile.

“Well, with everything that’s happening, I would say that we are.” He smiles too.

“Okay. Friends then.” 

I feel like we spend minutes just looking at each other, but probably it was just a few seconds. We walk out of my room and try to just follow what I would do on any other day.

I have two dates, one in the morning and the other after lunch, but I can’t concentrate, because I keep looking at Snow all the time, and he keeps looking at me too. But I don't think that we are looking at each other for the same reasons.

I mean, I can't stop looking at him, because he’s so gorgeous, and I can’t stop thinking about him, or the way he said he trusted in me and how important my opinion was to him. I don’t understand what is happening to me. It’s not that I never found anyone attractive before, I did. But I never felt the way I’m feeling now.

Lately, I feel like he’s the only thing I can think and dream about. And I want to know him more, but at the same time, I know this would be bad. I mean, I can’t fall in love with him. How am I supposed to keep the Selection happening and choose a girl if he’ll be by my side looking gorgeous as always? 

I have to keep things friendly enough. I have to think about him as a friend, like Penelope. I can’t let myself fall for him. I am trying to convince myself that he’s just a crush, and soon I’ll get over it. Soon, he’ll be only a guard, who happens to be a friend.

But then I look at him and the sun is shining on his hair, and the blue of his eyes are brighter than ever. His lips are slightly open and I imagine myself touching his lips and his skin.

Okay. Maybe it's already more than a crush.

I finish the date with this thought and walk Melanie back to her room. If someone asked me, I wouldn't be able to say a single word that she said to me.

"I think I’ll talk with Penelope now," I say to Simon, who nods.

We stop by Penny’s door and see her inside with her maids. 

“Miss Bunce, I’d like to have a word with you.” The maids look at her, probably wondering if I would send her home.

The maids leave, making a reverence, and I close the door, leaving Snow outside, to guarantee that no one would try to listen.

“I guess Simon told you then,” Penny says when the door is closed.

“He did. But before I say anything about it to anyone, I need to hear what your family knows.” She sits, looking worried. “Penny, I’m not mad with you, or with Simon. I understand that you had to keep that with you. But you can tell me now.” I sat by her side.

She still looks afraid, but she tells me everything. She tells how her parents got into the group, and the purpose of the group in the first place. Everything that her mother told her, the peaceful protests they did, the meeting where they tried to seek changes. When my mother took the throne, and how she called them for a meeting so they could talk and solve some things, and how the leaders didn’t agree. 

Penny looks tired of telling, - I suppose she already told Simon - but she keeps going. I learned about how things were to her family when she was a child. And how they wanted to leave. She even tells me her suspicion over one of the leaders - Davy, the same men who took Simon - when he came here to talk to my mother on the day she died. I can’t process everything. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, and I’ll understand if you want me to leave, and - ” I cut her.

“Penny.” She stops talking and looks at me. “I’m not sending you away. I understand that telling me all of this could have been bad for you, especially when you didn’t know me yet.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and don’t worry, I’m not telling anyone that you told me this. I’ll talk with my father and the counsellors but will leave your name and Simon’s off it.” She nods, looking relieved.

“Thank you, so much.” I squeeze her hand.

“It’s nothing. I appreciate you telling me this.” She looks at the door.

“Then, I can suppose that you’re not mad with Simon either?” I shake my head.

“Of course not, he didn’t know what was happening. Not really. And he saved my life.” I say, also looking at the door. “I wouldn’t be mad at him for this, not when he was honest with me.”

“And I think, it also counts that you like him, right?”

“I guess so.” I shrug. And then I look at Penny and see her smiling, knowing that again I told her something that I didn’t mean to. “You have to stop tricking me in telling you things.”

“I’m not tricking you, I can’t be blamed if you’re so distracted that you’re not thinking.” She laughs as I shake my head. “So,” She shoves me with her shoulder. “You really like him?”

“I -” I think in denying it, just to finish the topic. But I kind of admitted it already. And it would be nice to have someone to talk to. “Yeah, I do.” I blush as soon as the words leave my mouth. “I know that nothing can happen, but I can’t help it.” I sigh. “I know I’ll have to get it over and forget it, but -” I can finish my sentence.

“I guess everything is complicated when you’re the heir prince.” She says. “But I really think you shouldn't do what you don’t want to do. You deserve to be with someone you want. That you love.”

“In theory that’s great, but real life doesn’t work like that, unfortunately.” She opens her mouth to say something, but I stand. “I need to go, but I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Okay then. If you need someone to talk with, I’m here.” She smiles at me.

“Thank you, Penny, for everything.” She hugs me, and then I leave.

Simon is waiting for me outside, he looks at me expectantly, but before he could say something, I talk.

“I got what I needed, I believe I don’t have anything else to do for the rest of the day,” I say a bit loud. I’m a little paranoid, thinking about who could listen. Luckily, Snow understands and nods to me. 

“I’ll go with you then your highness.” 

We walked back to my room, this time side by side. We keep looking around us, wondering if everyone we see is a spy. We reach my room, and I nod to Simon to enter with me. 

“Penelope told me everything. I think I have enough information to go to the meeting tomorrow.” Snow is frowning. “What?”

“You think all the counsellors are loyal to you?”

“They’re loyal to the crown. I never had reasons to not trust any of them. They are hard people, conservative and a bit elitist, but overall they mean well.” He nods. “You think I shouldn’t tell them?”

“Honestly, I think it would be better to not tell a lot of people, the surprise move against the Mummers would be the smart thing to do. Davy and the others don’t suspect you know anything. And he will think I’m by his side until I tell him otherwise.”

“So don’t.” He frowns. “If he tries to talk with you if he tries to meet, answer him, meet him. Learn everything you can, but carefully of course. You’re right, the surprise move is the smartest one, so he can’t know you are not on his side anymore.”

“But what if Henry, the other men that were there in the attack, tells him that I saw them, that I was the one who shot Sebastian?”

“Pretend you’re not understanding, say to Davy that you think there are people inside the Mummers who are working for the rebels. Never him. Never say anything that indicates that we are suspecting him. Pretend that you’re alerting him because you’re worried about everyone, including him.” He looks away. “With you leading him in the wrong ways, I can focus on finding them.”

“I guess to make this work, you’ll have to tell them, to have their help.”

“Yeah, the counsellors have eyes and ears spread through Watford. Now, they are the best shot we have in finding the rebels.”

“I guess so. But I don’t like it.” He looks a bit concerned but doesn't say anything else about it. “I’ll go outside, in a few minutes the other guard will come to take my place.”

“Oh, right.” It’s easy to forget that he works here, for me. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, Snow.”

“See you tomorrow, Baz.” He says my name smiling, and again my heart does a flip in my chest. This boy will be my downfall.

I just come back to my mind when he closes the door, allowing me to blink and think again. 

I try to stop thinking about him and start to think about what I’m going to say tomorrow at the meeting. I think again about the attack yesterday and about the fact that maybe Davy was responsible for my mother’s death. I always knew that her death happened because of the rebels, but I never put names on those people. How will I find out if he really caused her death? Even if we get him, he’ll never confess that. 

My eyes are closed, as I try to remember that day. Remember her face and her voice. I wasn't with her when it happened. I was sleeping already when I heard noises. I tried to leave my room, but my guards didn’t let me. I went back to my bed and when I woke up again in the morning, my mother was dead.

I don’t want to keep thinking about that now. Her death hurts me even today. So, I try to think about other things, which makes my thoughts travel until Simon again. I shake my head and force myself to think about other things. 

When I see it, it’s already dinner time, and I leave my room, ready to eat and then come back and sleep. 

I’m walking with my guard - that I don’t remember the name - behind me when I see my father talking to one counsellor some steps ahead. It was Lord Edwards, one of the counsellors that most supported my father. They are walking fast, talking a bit loud, and they turn into a corridor. 

When I’m passing in the corridor, I see them entering the library, so I go there and turn to my guard.

“I’ll take a book, I won’t take too long, wait here.” He nods and stands beside the door.

I’m hoping that my father and Lord Edwards have walked farther into the library, so they won't see me. When I open the door, I see that luck is on my side. I follow their voices and hide behind a shelf. 

“They’re getting closer to us.” My father says.

“They won’t get you. Or the prince.”

“They know too much, we can’t risk it. Try to talk with them, make a deal, see what they want.” Who are ‘them’? And what deal?

“I’ll try my best Malcolm, but I can’t promise that they will listen to us.” Since when does he call my father for his name?

I want to stay and hear more, but they start talking about the Selection, and other things so I leave before they can see me. 

What the hell my father was talking about? It’s related to the fact that he looks so afraid lately?

It seems that I’ll be needing to watch him the next few days and try to figure out what was wrong with him. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 05

 Simon 

Telling the prince - Baz, as he asked me to call - about the Mummers and the whole thing was the right thing to do. I was feeling a lot lighter now, and happier too. It was nice to see that he trusts in me.

And it’s okay for me to admit now that I was liking him, I mean, it was great having him as a friend. Some days ago I would never think that I would be his friend and that I would want to be his friend. But here we are. 

I was still feeling bad about everything I found out, but I also had a new purpose. Help Baz (it’s still weird to call him like that) to take down the rebels was my new goal, and I was waiting anxiously for the day where they would fall. 

I’d love to see Davy and ask him why he did all these things. I’d always be grateful for him, I know that if it weren't for him, I’d have stayed in the orphanage until I was old enough. But he manipulated me. He made me believe in lies, and for luck, I was put in a place where I could see the truth.

Who knows what could have happened? Maybe I would never see the truth and maybe I would still help them in something bad. In the end, I could have gone to jail or worse. So, I was still processing everything and accepting the truth, but I was happy that I was on the right side. Finally. 

I still don’t agree with a lot of things that the king or the counsellors say and I do believe that many times, they’re wrong. But I also knew that Baz was the future of the kingdom, and he was trying to make things better, he would listen to the people. 

I didn't accompany Baz to the meeting the next day. I stay outside the room, and I can’t hear what they’re saying. He said it was better if the guards were outside, one of the others could be a spy, and he wanted to reduce the number of people who know about the Mummers. 

I thought it was the right thing to do, who knows, the other guards could be spies, they could be here for the same purpose I was. I don't even trust all the counsellors, but Baz needs to trust in them, he needs their help. So, we are risking telling them. If we are lucky, they are all loyal to the royal family. If we are not, then soon the Mummers will know.

The meeting lasted hours. I’m already tired when the door is open and Baz leaves the room. After him, the others start to leave too. He looks at me and I see the shadows beneath his eyes, and I can see how much he’s tired. Which doesn’t make him less handsome than he always is. 

He starts to walk without saying anything to me. Too many people around us to hear. So, we keep walking without even looking at each other. 

“So,” I say, once we are inside his room. “what were their reactions?”

“Surprised. All of them. They will see if they can get something, and they all agree we have to act with caution. Take them with surprise.” He is frowning a bit.

“What?” I ask, making him look at me. “You look worried, what happened?”

“My father is acting weird. I don't know. Maybe he’s more afraid than I thought.” He runs his hand through his hair, something I noticed he does a lot when is anxious. 

“Well, the rebels seem to be getting closer. Maybe it’s just that.” I shrug.

“Maybe.” He’s still not looking at me. Something else is wrong, it was funny how well I knew him, his expressions and all.

“There’s something else worrying you, what is it?” That makes him turn to me.

“They want to finish the Selection faster now. They’re afraid of what the rebels can do with the girls in here.”

“Oh.” Right. Sometimes it is easy to forget the competition. And that Baz will have to get married to one of those girls. Why did this thought leave me a bit upset? “You still don’t know who to choose?”

“Well, neither of them.” He says in a low voice, but I can hear. And it surprises me, I knew he didn’t like the competition, but I never imagined that he didn’t like any of the girls too. “It doesn’t matter, I have to choose and I will, eventually.” He doesn't look happy about it. 

The silence fills up the room until I see the hour on the clock behind Baz.

“I don’t want to ruin your mood even more, but you have a date with Jessica in ten minutes.” He huffs.

“Yeah, I think I do. Let’s go, Snow.” He turns to the door and leaves even before I could check if someone was in the corridor. 

I guess it was safe to say that Baz hated the competition more than anyone else. 

Baz 

Things start to get into a routine. The counsellors are looking for the Mummers, and to prove against them. And I had to go back to the competition pretending that it was still important. 

Two weeks pass and eight girls leave, which means that I’m only two girls away from the Elite. The Elite was a second level of the competition where only ten girls would stay here, and it meant that the Selection was almost in the end. Which also meant that my decision was getting closer. 

And I still didn’t know what was happening with my father. He was acting weirder now. On the day I told them about the Mummers, he almost got mad. I don’t know what was happening. I was trying to find out, but he hides it well. Besides, I have a lot going on now.

And there was Snow. He was still on my side, helping me, talking to me. And making me fall in love. I was determined to not let that happen, but so far, I was failing. Epically.

Penelope is the only one who knows about it and sees what is happening. She tries to cheer me up, but she is still convinced that I should drop the competition, and I know that is not a real option. 

“Basilton, are you even listening to me?” My father’s voice snaps me back to reality. To the table in front of us.

“I’m sorry father, what?” He gives me a look that when I was a kid would freeze me in my bones, but now it’s just normal.

“I was asking when do you intend to send the next two girls home. It would help if you didn’t keep lost in your thoughts.”

“I don’t know. I haven't decided anything yet.” He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him. “I know I have to hurry, don’t need to remind me.”

“I’m just -”

“Worried with the kingdom, I know.” My voice is colder than before. “If you excuse me, I already finished my breakfast and I have a lot of things to do now.” I stand, but my father’s hand grip my arm.

“Wait a second.” He reaches for something on a desk behind him. “Here is a list that the counsellors and I made. Is the name of the five girls we believe will be better to be your wife.” His hand is extended to me.

“Are you serious?” I take the list from his hand without looking at it. “Now you’re all choosing for me? I’m not a kid anymore, I can make my own choices.”

“Your choices may not be the best. I heard that you had a lot of dates with the Bunce girl, and I don’t know if that would be a wise choice.” My brain is trying to process his words. “And I think that maybe it would be best to choose another guard to protect you, I heard that you and Snow are too close.” I feel my cheeks heating.

“You can’t be serious, I can’t even have friends now?”

“You know that is not what I’m saying -”

“No, I don’t know. So, tell me.” He just looks at me, probably thinking about something to say. “I’m saying this for the last time, so listen well. The people I put in my life, and the choices I make, it’s up to me and no one else. If you or any of the counsellors try to control anything else in my life again, I will call the Selection off. I won’t care about what you think or what they think. I will call it off without even warning you. And it’s not just an empty threat, it’s a promise, so don’t doubt of me father.” The chair knocks on the floor when I leave.

I always thought that I couldn’t call it off, but based on my father’s reaction, I think that it wasn't as impossible as I believed. 

Before I reach the door, I throw the list of the names on the fireplace, and the paper burns until it becomes ashes, and then I storm out. 

I don’t stop, I just keep walking, almost running through the corridors and feeling tears in my eyes. I just stop when I hear Snow trying to reach me. 

“Baz, wait.” He runs to my side. “Something happened? You stormed out so furious, and your father was calling you. Yelling your name.” He sounds worried. 

“Just another discussion.” I shake my head. Snow looks around and then at me.

“Here, let’s talk in a private place.” He takes me by the elbow and pulls me a few inches, before opening a secret door. “I’ve been learning the secret hideouts in case of an emergency.” I knew about the hideouts and have been in a couple of them, but this one was new. “So, do you wanna talk?” 

“It’s nothing. Just my father being the worst. I know he’s my father, but sometimes I hate him. Sometimes I wished that he had died instead of my mother.” I don’t look at Snow. “Christ, what a terrible thing to say.” I feel Snow’s hand on my shoulder. 

“Baz -”

“No, I know I shouldn’t be saying this. He’s my father, I shouldn’t feel that way. But he still tries to control me exactly like when I was a kid. And part of me agrees with the rebels and with the other groups when they complain about how my father is ruling. I know that deep down he cares about the kingdom, but the things he does, the way he acts sometimes. I just... I can’t -” I close my eyes. “I just lose it sometimes.”

“Baz-” Simon tries again. 

“He gave me a list of five girls who he and the counsellors think would fit as my wife. He says I’m spending too much time with Penny, and she is not a good choice. He doesn't understand the concept of friendship. And they keep pressuring me to end the Selection and to choose someone. And I didn't even wanted this whole stupid competition in the first place.” I feel the tears again in my eyes. “And what is worse, is that they’re pressuring me to bond with someone that I don’t want and don’t love for the rest of my life.” I feel the tears rolling on my cheeks, and then Simon’s arms are around me. Hugging me.

“I’m sorry about all of it.” He says in my ear. “And you have all the right in the world to feel the way you’re feeling now.” He’s so warm and his arms fit so perfectly around me. That just makes me cry more. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have thrown that at you.” His arms are still firm, holding me.

“That’s okay. I mean, we are friends right?”

“Right.” I step back, the reality sinking around me. This was the only thing we could be. Friends. “Thank you for listening to me.” 

“Any time.” He says now looking at me. He’s so close. If I was braver, I could just take a step and kiss him. But I’m not, so I stay in my place.

“We should go back. I have plans for the rest of the morning.” I look away.

“Okay.” He looks away too. “Let me check if there is someone out there.” I nod and he goes to the door. “There’s no one in there, let’s go.”

We walk out of the hideout, I’m still trying to recompose myself, I couldn’t fall apart again, not in front of Simon, anyway. 

We are heading to the offices where I work with the counsellors, to try to find out something about the rebels when we receive the news.

The house of one of the girls was attacked, half the house was destroyed and worse, her little brother died. I see guilt all over Simon’s face, but I can’t help him now, I can’t talk while we have to deal with this crisis. 

“What happened?” I asked when we met the counsellors.

“We just heard now, Natalie Marshall’s house was attacked. They blew a bomb there, her parents had a few wounds but they’re fine now, unfortunately, her brother died in the explosion. We believe it was a message to end the Selection.” 

“We should end it,” I say. “What if they try to attack the others?”

“We already sent extra security to all of them.”

“And what about Natalie’s family? They just lost their son. It doesn’t make sense to keep this going if we are putting lives in danger.”

“I think you are exaggerating.” My father says, of course. “It’s a terrible thing that happened, but if we give up on the competition we are letting them win. We will be better prepared now.” Of course, he doesn't want to cancel the damn thing. “What I believe we should do is to anticipate the competition. Natalie already asked to leave, so there are only 11 girls. Maybe we can change the rules and make the elite with only 5 and then in about a month or so, we are already celebrating the end with the wedding.” I close my eyes. 

I see what he’s doing. He’s trying to manipulate the situation, so they'll agree with him, and I'll feel compelled to agree as well. As expected the counsellors do agree with him. But I’m not letting him do things his way again. If they want the competition to keep going, then it will be on my way.

“I won’t do such a thing,” I say, trying to keep my voice still. “If I have to keep the competition, I will keep it as it is. The elite will be composed of ten girls or no girl at all.” I look at my father and see that he’s furious. “The decision about the Selection is up to me and no one of you. And I don’t think that after what happened, we should be discussing that.”

There are some murmurs, and I see Snow looking at me with something in his eyes. Pity maybe? 

They all go back to talking about the attack and don’t mention the competition again. Not even my father says anything about it. I see that he’s struggling to say something, but something close to fear crosses his eyes. I think that maybe he’s starting to be afraid that I’ll take the throne from him. I could do it since I’m already legally an adult. And I should do it since I know something is odd to him, but now there are more urgent things to worry about. I'd worry about that later. 

We had a big lead on the rebels now, we knew that they were hiding behind the Mummers, but we still couldn’t find them. The situation was getting more desperate, and I was feeling so useless, powerless. Another kid died and even though I wasn’t the one who caused the death, I couldn’t help feeling extremely guilty. 

Simon

I was feeling that I had to look over my shoulder every time now. I was worried that somehow Davy had found out about me, and my new friendship with the prince. I was waiting for anyone to point a gun at me anytime now. 

I was also worried about the new attacks. It’s the fourth day in a row that someplace is attacked near the castle, or that has some connection with the royal family. On the first day the house of one of the girls was attacked, her brother died. He was only eight years old. It was hard not to feel guilty about it. 

Knowing that the man who took me in, and raised me, was capable of things like that, makes me wake up in the middle of the night. How I never saw him for who he really was? How was I so blind?

The prince wants to cancel the Selection, and not only because he hates it, but because he cares about the girls. I think that if the next attack happens here or in their houses, he will call it off, no matter what the counsellors say. And I think he should do it.

It was heartbreaking to hear him the other day, crying, being so vulnerable, not wanting to proceed with the competition. All I wanted to do was to hug him and to make sure he would be fine. I wish I could help him to get what he wanted. But I’m only a guard. I don’t know if there’s something I could do.

I wake up with the sun in my eyes, it’s my day off and technically, I don’t have to wake up so early, I could just stay in my bed all day. But I can’t do that, it’s unnerving to be the whole day without doing anything.

The other guards are leaving the room when I get up. I changed my pyjamas to my uniform, I didn’t have many clothes to use, and either way, I prefer using the uniform. When I get back to my room, I see a piece of paper that I haven’t seen before.

I feel my heart beating loudly and strong inside my chest as I pick the paper. 

It’s time for us to meet. I need some information.

Meet me at the north gate, next Saturday at midnight.

I recognise Davy’s handwriting as soon as I start to read. 

This is it then, I will have to meet him, and prepare myself to lie. Saturday was two days ahead, so I had time to come with a plan. I had to tell Baz about it. He would help me to think about something.

But it will have to wait until tomorrow, I’m not supposed to work today, and it would look weird if I went after him. People can’t know that we are friends. 

I read the note again a couple of times before burning it. I couldn’t have anything lying around that could make anyone suspect that I’m a spy. 

After that I leave the room and go have my breakfast, still thinking about the note and everything else.

I don’t know what I’ll do today, I didn’t plan anything and now I was too worried to care. So, I just wander around the castle grounds, thinking about everything. I didn’t want to think about Davy and the Mummers until I had to, so I keep trying to push my mind to other places.

I’m walking in the open field when I see Baz with one of the girls, Georgia, I think, walking in the gardens. Her hand is holding his arm and she’s talking and smiling, and he’s smiling back. The sight of them makes me feel weird, like there was a knot inside my chest, tight, making me breathe heavier. 

But then I look at them with more attention, and I see that Baz’s smile is not his real one. With all the girls, except Penny, he gives this smile, that it might look good, it might look like he means it, but I know he doesn't. During the time I have known him, I’ve learned to distinguish his smiles, his looks, every time he’s being fake with someone, or just polite. 

I don’t know why I know all of this, but being so close to him made me almost an expert. By now, I knew him more than myself. 

I keep looking at them, at him actually, while I walk back to the castle, and I almost bump into Penny.  

“Hey, Simon.” She smiles at me. “Everything okay?” She frowns, probably wondering why I had the confused face I had now.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I’m just thinking about something.” I look back where Baz was, but he wasn't there anymore. 

“Had any news on that subject?” She asks in a low voice and I shake my head.

“Not yet. But I might have it soon enough.” She nods to me, so we start to walk. “I received a note from Davy,” I whisper at her. 

“I see.” It’s her answer. “You think there will be another attack today?” She asks in a normal tone because it’s normal for her to be worried. 

“Maybe. But we hope it doesn't happen. It’s pretty soon to know it though.” She nods again. “They will be okay,” I say to her, knowing that she was thinking about her family.

“I hope so.” She sighs. “You’re not working today?”

“No, it’s my day off.”

“It’s weird to see you and not see Baz with you. I’m used to seeing you both together now.” She smiles and I don’t know what to say, so I just smile back. 

We walk in silence for some seconds until we see Baz coming in our direction. He stops, asking something to the guard, who is following him, and then the guard leaves and Baz walks to us.

“Hey,” He says to us. “I thought it was your day off,” Baz says to me, looking at my uniform.

“And it is, I’m just walking a bit.” I shrug.

“Something happened?” He looks between me and Penny.

“Sort of, but this is not a good place to talk.” He nods.

After that we all just keep silent, looking at each other. It’s kind of awkward.

“Well,” Penny breaks the silence. “I have to go to the library to search for something, but I will see you both later.” She turns her back to us and leaves.

“Come on,” Baz says. “Let’s find somewhere to talk.” 

We walk for some corridors, when we are almost close to the kitchens, we hear some loud voices coming in our direction.

“My father,” Baz says, his eyes widening for a second. He looks around and pulls me with him to a broom closet, and then closes the door before his father could see us.

Baz 

It’s safe to say that I didn’t think it through the whole thing when I pulled Simon to get inside in a broom closet with me. The closet is too small and barely has a place for one of us. So we have to squeeze ourselves to fit in. 

It’s hard to breathe or to feel anything else besides the warmth coming from Simon that is pressed against me. I shut that in a part of my brain and try to concentrate on my father’s voice, which is becoming louder. 

“I don't believe that there will be another attack today, they will wait for our answer." It's Lorde Edward's voice. Why do he and my father have so many secrets?

"You know what answer I'd like to give." My father sounds mad. "Try to contact the Mage again, tell him I still want to make a deal."

"He won't do any deal, the only thing he wants is to see you and your son dead." 

"I don't care, keep trying. I won't leave him to destroy what I fought to have. We just have to make sure he won't talk until we find where they're hiding." His voice is getting lower now.

"He won't say anything, he also has things to lose."

My father starts to reply, but they're too far now to hear.

"Who is the Mage?" Simon asks after some seconds of silence.   

"The leader of the rebels. We don't know who he is, I mean I thought we didn't know, but maybe I was wrong."

“You think your father knows him?”

“It’s what it looks like.” I shake my head. “I don’t know what is happening, but he’s hiding something. This is the second time I hear him talking about a deal. And what he’s worried that the Mage will say?” Simon shrugs, not knowing what to say.

“Well, the rebels have been attacking since we were kids, your father probably knows more than we do.” 

“Probably,” I say.

“You think this leader, ‘the Mage’ could be part of the Mummers too?”

“I don’t know. But we can look for it. We have some photos, I don’t know if one of them shows the Mage, my father never let me look at it, always said I was too young to care about these things. Maybe I could ask again, I’m already involved in everything else.”

“It would be great, I could give you names if I had pictures.”

“I’ll try to get it.” He nods. “And maybe we should look into my father’s things, I want to find out what he’s hiding.” I shake my head. “Anyway, what do you wanna talk about?” I ask.

“Oh, right. I received a note from Davy this morning. He wants to meet this Saturday at midnight. He wants information, I think we have to plan something. To give him something, so he would not have reasons to not trust me.”

“I’m surprised he waited this long to talk to you. But I’ll help you to think about something.” He nods again. “And we need to make sure you’ll be safe.”

“I don’t think he would hurt me. But then, I never thought he would hurt other people as well.” He looks sad, as he always does when he talks about it.

“He probably wouldn’t hurt you, but we won't take any chances. I’ll think about something.” He looks at me. “I won’t let you meet with him without a plan that involves your safety.”

He doesn’t answer anything, he just looks at me as the silence fills the room.

Suddenly, I become too aware of Snow’s presence, of how close he is. I’m a bit taller than him, at least three inches, so he’s looking up to meet my eyes. His shoulders are leaning into mine, and I can feel his hot breathing in my neck.

I want to say something, to not let this awkward silence go any longer, but I’m trapped in his eyes. My brain is not working at the moment, because the only thing I can think, is that he’s too close and that his lips are only a few inches away. And then I start to wonder how his lips taste, and that if I just leaned my head, I would find out. 

I didn't want him to notice that I was looking at his lips, so I looked at his freckled skin instead. I realise that I already memorised all the moles in his face and neck, and how I would love to trace it with my fingers, and then with my mouth and tongue.

The last place I look again is in his eyes. He is looking with so much intensity at me that I don’t know what to think. He swallows and it’s a whole show.

I think I might kiss him. 

I never wanted to kiss someone like I wanted to kiss him.

I never wanted anyone as I want him.

I never loved anyone as I love him.

Oh, god. What am I going to do?

Simon

I’m usually warmer than anyone else. But I’m sure that I’ll burst into flames any second now. And I don’t know why.

Baz and I are still inside the broom closet. His father and one of the counsellors were talking, but they are gone now, and we are still in the closet in silence. Just looking at each other.

Baz is a few inches taller than me, so I have to look up so I can look at his eyes. I already thought that he had extraordinary eyes, but now looking at this close, it’s even more beautiful than I thought. 

His breathing is a bit cold on my skin, but it isn't enough to make me any less hot. His eyes move, looking at my face, and it stops a few seconds more at my lips. I don’t know why but that makes me blush a bit and makes my eyes drop to his lips. I never thought too much about other people's lips, but his lips look soft. It makes me wanna touch it. 

The thought makes me freeze for a second. I look up to his nose and his perfect reddish-gold skin. Every time I saw a picture of the prince, and then every time I saw him in person, I used to think he was gorgeous, but I never thought too much about it.

If I’m being honest, there's a lot of things I don’t usually think about. I just shut inside some part of my brain. But now, I can’t stop thinking about how handsome Baz is, how I never met someone like him, and how I want to touch, to feel his lips. How he makes my heart beat faster.

I don’t know what is happening to me. I just know that I’m mesmerised by him right now.

But then, I notice that his cheeks are flushed, and his eyes widen, and he tries to step back, and opens the door, leaving me inside the closet.

A second later, I leave the closet too. Still feeling my heart beating aggressively in my chest. 

“I - I have some things to do now. But I’ll think of something for your meeting with Davy.” Baz rarely stutters.

“Yeah, I-" I cleared my throat. "I'll try to think of something too.” He nods, and swallows, looking at his feet. Is he embarrassed?

“Okay, I’ll go then. Have a good afternoon.” He looks at me, but only for brief seconds, and then leaves. 

I don’t move for a few minutes.

What the hell just happened?

From where did all those thoughts came?

Perhaps it was just something that passed through my mind because we were inside that small place, just looking at each other.

But then, if that was true, why couldn't I stop thinking about it now that I was alone? And now that I was thinking about it, I knew that some of those thoughts were in my head for a long time.

Chapter Text

Chapter 06

 Simon

I keep watching Baz as he leaves, without knowing what to think. I'm so confused.

I need to talk to someone, but the person I would like to talk with is Baz. But obviously, he doesn’t want to talk now, so I need to talk with someone else. 

And that's why I go to the library, where I know I’ll find Penny. 

She’s alone, sitting in an armchair with a book in her arms. Her guard is outside, and for I can see, there’s no one inside who could hear us.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Where’s Baz?” She asks when I sit in front of her.

“He went back to his things.” I’m still trying to figure out what was happening.

“And something happened? You seem worried.” She puts the book aside.

“More confused actually.” She raises an eyebrow. 

“Elaborate.” 

“I-” I look for the right words. “Something happened now, and I felt weird, and I can’t explain why.” She gestures for me to keep going. “Baz and I were talking, and his father was coming, so we hid inside a closet. After his father left, we were talking again but then we weren’t anymore, and we just kept looking at each other, and then Baz left. But when we were in there, in silence, I was feeling something. I can’t explain what it was.” Her expression softens.

“Well,” she says smiling. “That’s easy.” I raise my eyebrow. “You like him, Simon.”

“What do you mean?” She looks at me like I’m an idiot, what I think I am.

“I think it’s a bit obvious that you have feelings for Baz and not just friendly ones.”

“I -I” I don’t know what to say. “That’s not -”

“So tell me,” she cuts me. “How do you feel when you see him or when you’re close to him?”

“I feel okay, I mean, I feel good. I like to be close to him, talking to him. He’s a good person, and he’s really smart, so he always has great things to say.” I shrug thinking about what Penny asked. “And it’s nice that he likes to hear me too, even when I don’t have smart things to say.”

“And how do you feel about the competition?”

“When did you become a therapist?” I ask while she rolls her eyes.

“Just answer me.”

“Okay. Well, I never liked this competition, and I’m a bit mad when I see him with the girls.”

“You’re not mad.” She smiles. “You’re jealous. You don’t want him to get married to any of the girls.”

“I -” Again, I don’t have any words. 

What Penny just said, sinks on my brain. I guess I could say that I’m a bit jealous of him, the thought of seeing him marry someone was enough to make me sick. And I do like being with him, I could stay the whole day by his side, talking. And he is the most beautiful person I’ve already seen. And okay, I did think about kissing him earlier, in the closet. And maybe a couple of times before that. 

I’m starting to see that Penny might be right. That was the reason why my heart was beating so fast when we were so close. I lean into my armchair.

“Do you believe me now?” She asks with a fun tone. 

“I guess you’re right. I like Baz. Oh God, I like Baz.” My voice is a bit louder and Penny laughs.

“Congratulations, you’re the last one to know. Well, I guess not the last one, probably just both of us knows.”

“Why are you laughing? This is not a good thing, and you weren't supposed to be fighting for him or something like this?”

“First of all, I’m here as his friend, we made a deal and we’re only friends, I have someone that I like back at my village and Baz doesn't even -” She stops suddenly. “Well,” She clears her throat, I want to ask what she was going to say, but she keeps talking. “And why is this not a good thing?”

“Because he’s the prince. He’ll be the king, there’s no way that something could happen.” I stop when I see the truth in those words. And how much that makes me sad. “And besides, he’ll have to choose a wife in a few weeks. And he wouldn’t - He wouldn’t see me like this. He would never like me, not like this.” 

“How can you be sure?”

“Because I'm no one. I’m just a guard. And I know that he doesn’t like the competition or any of the girls, but in the end, this doesn't matter. He’ll marry one of them.”

“I wouldn’t put it like that.” She shrugs. “And we don’t know what is going to happen. So many things are changing. And for what Baz told me, he almost cancelled the Selection a couple of times already. We never know.”

“I just don’t believe in that. It’s hopeless.” I close my eyes. “I think I would rather not have found out about my feelings.”

“Simon,” Penny sits by my side. “Even if nothing happens, it’s good to know what we are feeling, how we are feeling. We all learn things in every experience, even the bad ones, and again, no one knows, tomorrow everything could be different.”

“I wish it was. Different, I mean. If some things were different then -” She gives me a sad smile.

“We don’t know how tomorrow will be.” She says. “Just don’t lose hope, okay?”

“I’ll try. I need to think.” I stand and leave without saying goodbye to Penny. 

What I said to Penny is true. I’m not sad for liking Baz, but nothing good could happen. I don’t see an ending where I get what I want. Who I want. 

And besides the whole thing with him being a Prince and the Selection, I also have to consider that we were on opposite sides until recently. Even if Baz wasn't supposed to marry one of the girls, and even if he liked me this way, he would be able to forget who I was? That I was a part of the group that hurt people like him?

I know Baz has a good heart, but I don’t think he would just forget something like this. Not for me anyway. And he doesn't even like me, not like this. He sees me as a friend. And I don't even know if he likes blokes. I know he doesn’t like the competition, and of the girls in here, but that doesn't mean anything.

And even if he does. He has to marry a girl. He has to make sure his lineage will pass ahead. That’s why nothing good could come from all of this. That’s why I know this is over even before something happens.

I just wish everything could be different. 

Baz

I can’t stop thinking about what just happened. 

I almost kissed Simon, for real and he probably noticed. He probably hates me or is disgusted with me right now. And he has all the right in feeling this way. I can’t believe it.

I let myself go too far on this. I did what I swore to myself that I wouldn't do. I fell in love with him. And there’s no turning back from it right now. I can’t stop feeling what I’m feeling. 

There are too many things in my head at the moment, and I don’t want to think at all. Especially not about Simon and my feelings. So, I focus on finding the pictures of the rebels that I told him earlier.

My father would leave the castle in a few hours, he said he had a meeting with the leader of a group that was our ally. And I would take that opportunity to ask the counsellors for the pictures. I’d have better luck in asking them, my father could hide and lie to me again. 

I go to the office, where I know the others will be, and keep there for the afternoon. We keep trying to track the rebels or the Mummers, trying to find any lead that could help us. But they know how to hide, and all of us are getting very frustrated. 

Hours later, when I know that my father already left, I do what I wanted since I walked in and ask for the photos. 

“Do you think it could help us in some way?” Lord Smith asks me. 

“Maybe. Now that we know that they’re infiltrated at the Mummers we could look at some photos and maybe we could recognise some of them.” I shrug.

“I don’t think we’ll, but let’s give it a shot.” He says leaving the room.

Some minutes later, he comes back with a big box and puts it on top of my desk.

“In there, are all the things, photos, notes, proofs, that we could collect in all those years.”

“Just this single box?” I was surprised.

“Yeah, we never got too many things.” Before I could reply, he turned to help another person.

I guess it was up to me then.

I take a lot of things from the box, wanting to focus on the photos only. It’s not a surprise that we didn’t find them after all these years if everything we have of them is inside this box. There is a bunch of stuff that I don’t think could help us, but I don’t stop to check it either. 

The photos are mixed with other papers, so I collect it all before really looking at it. I sit on my chair again, with something between twenty to thirty photos in my hands.

There are pictures from security cameras that almost don’t show anything. But there are photos of people that I have never seen before.

“They are all rebels?” I ask Lord Smith.

“We think so, but we never were able to recognise their faces, all systems we have didn’t recognise them.” He says.

“We have a register of the members of the Mummers?”

“They presented a list of names years ago, we had files on everyone, that’s why it is hard to believe that they hid it from us all these years.” I just nod looking back at the photos. “But now when we were looking into it, it was gone. All the files are gone.” I’m not surprised.

I see a man that is present in almost all the pictures. He looks familiar, but I don’t know why.

“Do we know who he is? Why does he show up so much?” Lord Smith looks at the photo I’m showing.

“Oh. Yes. This is the Mage, the leader of the rebels. We don’t know his real name, or anything else. I remember once we were close to finding something about him, but then it was like someone had hacked into our system and all the information just vanished.”

“So, this is the Mage,” I mutter to myself. Could my father know him?

Lord Smith turns to talk to another Lord, and I take that as an opportunity to hide the photo. I could show it to Simon later, maybe he could recognise someone.

Thinking about Simon again makes my stomach flinch. How would I look at him again after what happened in the closet? I’m sure that even he realised something was odd. That I was staring at his gorgeous lips, and that I almost kissed him. 

I try not to think about that as I leave the office and walk to my room. I’m not in the mood to do anything else for the rest of the day, so I lay on my bed and just move to eat my dinner. 

Luckily, we don’t have to deal with another rebel attack. That was another thing that was worrying me the whole day, the possibility of another attack. In the last four days, they destroyed houses, streets, cars, and hurt people. A lot of people. 

I was very worried. Who knows what will be their next move? Who will they hurt next?

I think I’ll have to finish the Selection sooner than I anticipated. I didn’t want to do it, but if it will make the attacks stop, then it’s what I have to do. Tomorrow I’ll send another girl home and the Elite will start.

.....

At night, my dreams are weird. I dream a lot with Simon, but also about the attacks, and my wedding. The day I last expected. 

When the sun is shining through my windows, I wake up. Already fearing the day ahead, and the guard outside my door. I don’t want to face Simon. Not yet. It's almost like I could hear him breathing outside like I could feel his presence so close to me. 

I know I don’t have an option, so, I try to be brave and leave my bed, changing my clothes and preparing myself to see Snow. 

Simon startles when I open the door, he looks at me and I see that his cheeks are a bit flushed, which makes me think that he did realise my intentions last night. I try to pretend that this doesn't affect me.

“Good morning, Snow.” 

“Good morning, your highness, I mean Baz.” He shakes his head, still looking embarrassed. 

“Let’s get going to the dining hall and I can fill you in about what I saw yesterday.” He nods and we start walking. “I asked the counsellors to see the pictures, there isn't a lot of it, but I kept one with me, it shows some rebels and the Mage. My father has some things to do outside the castle today, and I was thinking of going to his room to look for something.”

“That is not a bit risky? If he or someone else finds you -” he doesn’t complete.

“I’ll be careful.” I shrug.

“We will,” he looks at me. “I want to help somehow.”

“Okay, but we have to go as soon as he leaves the castle. I want to take all the time I can to look into his stuff.” 

“Okay.”

I eat my breakfast as fast as I can. I take that time to look at the girls and decide which one I’ll be sending home. There are a few of them who are nice enough to be here for now, and there are a few that I can’t stand anymore, the way they speak and behave are just not good. 

Last week one of them was yelling with one of her maids, for what Snow told me - I asked him to find out what had happened - Elise was mad because her maid understood her wrong and made a dress in a different colour. The things Elise said to the maid were so terrible that the poor woman left the room crying her eyes out. 

I was already deciding myself on sending her home, but now I was more convinced, this afternoon I would talk to her, and the Elite would officially begin. My father will be very pleased. 

After breakfast, Snow and I leave the dining hall and go to my father’s room. We keep looking at our shoulders, seeing if someone could be following us, but luckily we get to the room without meeting someone else.

“Okay,” I say once we are inside the room with the door closed. “I’ll start looking at his desk, you go check his drawers.” Snow nods and goes to do what I asked.

I see a lot of papers, but nothing that could link him to any weird stuff. I don’t know how long it passes until I find something that might be what I’ve been looking for.

“Snow,” I called him. “I think I found something.” He comes to my side.

“What is it?”

“This box was hidden in this door, behind these files,” I explain, taking the box in my hand.

“It’s locked?” He asks as I open the box. “I guess this is a no then.”

At first, I saw a necklace that belonged to my mother, I didn't know he had something of her hidden. I thought everything was gone. I take the necklace in my hands, remembering how my mother used to wear it every day. 

“What the hell?” Snow says by my side, I look at him and see that he’s looking at the box, and takes a photo that was inside.

“What is it?” I ask, trying to see the photo.

“Why does your father have a picture with Davy?” He asks to turn the photo so I can see. At the same time, I recognise both men in the photo, and I don’t fully process what Snow just asked.

“Why is my father with the Mage?” 

Simon

I take a second to think about what Baz just said.

“What do you mean with the Mage?”

“What do you mean with Davy?” He asks.

“Well, this man in the photo, besides your father, is Davy, the man who took me in. The same man I’ll see tomorrow.”

“No, no, this is the Mage. Yesterday I found some pictures, and he was in a few of them. The counsellors told me he was the Mage.” The realisation of the truth is heavy inside me.

“Davy is the Mage.” I shake my head.

“Fuck. That means that -” I cut him.

“That I’ve been raised by the leader of the rebels. The top leader.” 

“That too. I was about to say that it meant that the rebels are more infiltrated than we thought. Davy is not hiding, right? He’s not like a fugitive.” He looks at me.

“No, he was always out somewhere doing things for the Mummers, or the rebels I guess. But I never saw him hide from anything or anyone.”

“Exactly. He’s not worried that we’ll catch him. But my father must know that he is the Mage, which brings me to the most important question. What the hell is my father hiding?” He seems a bit afraid. 

“I have no idea. But for what we already found out and heard, he seems to know Davy, more than just as enemies. For the way they were standing in the photo, we could say that they were friends.”

“Well, my father knows now who he is, I’m sure of it, but maybe he didn’t know back then? Maybe Davy tricked my father to get closer to the castle?” I can see that he’s looking for any excuse.

“Maybe.” I check the hour behind him. “It’s better to go anyway, we already spent too much time here, and he could come back any time now.” He nods, still looking a bit shocked. “Are you okay?”

“Are you?” He replies, raising his eyebrow at me.

“It’s not the easiest thing to learn that your father figure is killing people, innocent people, so I guess I’m not.” He looks away.

“I don’t know what to think about my father. I’m trying to think about something but everything I can think of sounds like an excuse. I know that the truth is far worse, and I’m not sure if I want to know.” I open my mouth to say something, but he shakes his head and cuts me. “We should go.” This time I nodded to him and we put back everything we took out of place.

I go check the corridor and we leave the king’s room, with a lot of more things to think about. We don’t say a word until we reach his room.

“I’m not sure if I can meet Davy tomorrow.” Baz looks at me. “I’m a terrible liar and now I can’t pretend to agree with him, to pretend that I don’t know what we know.” Baz pulls me inside his room.

“You have to meet him, if you don’t show up he might suspect something. I’m thinking about a plan, okay? Just be there and listen to what he has to say. Tell them a bit of truth, like how the selection is going, or how the rebels' attacks are out of control.”

“I- I” I tug at my hair. “Just thinking about facing him, knowing how many lies he told me, I can’t - I won’t be able to lie.”

“Look -” He holds my shoulders, making me stay still and look at him. “Don’t think like that, think that by doing this, you’ll be helping us, he might tell you something valuable.”

“Why don't we just set up some traps for him? If we catch the leader then the rest of the group could stop.” I say, trying to find a solution. 

“Or they will hide so much better that we won't ever find them again. I’m sorry, I don’t like this either, but right now is the only kind of clue that we have.” He does look a bit worried too. But it’s the bit of hope in his eyes that makes me nod.

“I’ll do it. Which doesn’t mean that I will be able to lie, but I’ll try.” Especially if he starts to say bad things about Baz.

“Okay, I’m thinking of something, I’m just waiting for some answers.” I nod again.

“I have to go back to the corridor.” This time he nods. When I turn my back to him, he speaks again.

“After lunch, I’ll have to talk with Elise.” That catches my attention.

“Are you sending her home?” He nods, not looking very excited about it. “So, it means that the Elite will start right?”

“Yeah. The counsellors and my father are pressuring me a lot, and maybe if I finish this soon, the attacks will stop.”

“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say, especially now that I was aware of my feelings. Each day that passes Baz is closer to his wedding with one of the eleven - well, now ten - girls that were inside this castle. And there is nothing that I could do to stop it. “I will leave you then, I should be back to my post.” He nods to me.

I leave his room, and stay in my position still thinking about everything. About the Mage, the leader of the rebels being the man I always trusted. And also about the fact that the prince in the room behind me would get married soon, and my heart hurts just thinking about it. 

I don't want to think about any of that, but I don’t think I can’t stop the flow of thoughts that are making my head hurt. 

Later, when I escort the prince to Elise’s room, I have this weird feeling of loss. Every time he sends a girl home is a step closer to his future, and away from me. Not that he was close to me, not like that anyway, it’s just that I know that with all the competition, I don’t have any chances with him, and I won’t ever have.

His talk with Elise is fast, and when we’re leaving her room, we hear her crying. And just like that, the Elite started. And I knew that the selection would not take too long to end. 

..... 

Baz only tells me his plan an hour before the meeting, he sends his guard of the night shift to take something for him leaving his room without any extra eyes. Inside his room, I see two blokes dressed as guards.

“Snow, these two are Dev and Niall, they have been my friends since I was a kid.” He introduces me to them.

“Hey.” I greet them.

“They were owing me a favour, and they also don’t like too much of my father-”

“Understatement of the year,” Dev says, rolling his eyes.

“So,” Baz keeps talking like Dev didn’t interrupt him. “They agreed to help us. I told them what was happening and asked them to pretend to be guards, so they can keep an eye on you.”

“How will we trick Davy so he won’t mind them being in there?”

“You will say that they are sympathizers with the anti-royalty groups, that working together made you bond, say that you were afraid that someone could see you both talking and having them with you would look less suspicious. And if he tries something, like to hurt or to take you they will blow these whistles,” He shows me two silver whistles. “what will draw more guards to that place, you won’t take any because he might inspect you.”

“Okay. There’s something that I can’t talk about? Besides everything involving the Mummers and the rebels?”

“Just don’t say anything about my relationship with my father, he could see it as a weakness.”

“Alright.” I look at the hour. “We should go, I don’t want to be late.” Dev and Niall nod to me. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I tell Baz.

“What? No, after you finish, come here and tell me everything.” I shake my head.

“If someone sees, especially someone working for Davy, it will look suspicious. After the meeting, I’ll go straight to my room, and I’ll tell you everything tomorrow morning.” He doesn’t look happy, but nods.

“You’re right. Okay then, good luck.” He says looking at me, and for some seconds I feel locked inside his eyes. We just keep looking at each other, until someone, I think Niall, clears his throat.

“We should be going.” I look away, feeling my cheeks warmer.

“Yeah, let’s go.” I look quickly at Baz again, and then we leave.

We walk in silence for some minutes, trying to reach the outside of the castle. Dev and Niall start to mumble something behind me.

“Why did you owe Baz a favour?” I ask with curiosity.

“He helped us,” Niall says.

“With what?” I look at them.

“He helped us to get together,” Dev says looking at Niall as they smiled at each other.

It was cute. And I hated it. At the moment I was hating everything that could look romantic or something like that. It was just a reminder of what I couldn’t have.

“That’s nice.” It’s the only thing I can say without sounding too jealous.

After that, I don’t try to say anything else. I just walk.

We got to the place of the meeting a few minutes earlier. I get more nervous every second that passes. I still don’t know how I’ll lie to him. How I’ll have to pretend to hate the prince.

“Simon.” I hear a familiar voice coming through the shadows.  

“Davy?” He’s coming closer now, so I can see a bit of his face. He looks confused when he sees Dev and Niall behind me.

“I didn’t know you would bring friends.”

“Oh, don’t worry. After this time working together, I saw that they weren’t big fans of the crown. I brought them so they could keep an eye around, and in case someone shows up, they will let us know.” I step closer to him and whisper. “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell them about the group, I just told them that we are working to help people. What isn’t a lie. Right?”

Only then he steps fully into the light and I can see his face. It was hard to pretend to be happy, relieved in seeing him, when I was so angry, mad that he tricked me. But I swallow my anger and somehow smile at him.

“It’s good to see you, sir.” I see a bit of tension leaving his shoulders. Maybe he was suspicious of me. 

“It’s good to see you too, Simon.” He pats my shoulder and pulls me closer, some steps away from Dev and Niall. “But let’s not waste time. Tell me what you found out.” This was the time for lying then.

“I- I” I clear my throat. “I’m sorry sir, unfortunately, there isn’t much to say. The Selection will be soon at the end, but lately, everyone is more worried about the rebel attacks.” I say, hoping that he would react somehow, but his face remains emotionless. “Which reminds me, sir, some time ago, I was escorting the prince outside, when the rebels attacked us. I - I don’t know how to say this to you, but I recognised one man, it was Sebastian sir, he was with the rebels.” His eyes flinch for a second, but I do as Baz told me some days ago. “I think you have to be careful sir, he was infiltrated in our group, but there might be more. And they might be planning something, and you can’t let it happen, you have to protect the group and yourself.”

“Thank you for the warning, Simon. Unfortunately, I was already aware of that, on the day of the shooting a member of the group was passing there and saw. It was a terrible thing, of course.”

“I imagine how awful it must be finding out that someone you trusted is not what you think.” My words seem to make Davy mute for a moment. 

“Yeah, it was terrible.” He looks at everything in me before saying. “But let’s go back to the important topic. I heard that you are the prince’s guard, you must have listened to something important. Someone told me that the guards are allowed to be inside the meetings.” He looks a bit suspicious now. Something in his voice makes me see that he was testing me.

“We are allowed, but since the attacks got more frequent in the last days, we were banned. They just trust in their people. And before most meetings were about the Selection, to discuss the girls and see which one is the better option.”

“I see.” He doesn’t say anything for a second. “And what about the prince? You didn’t hear anything while walking behind him all day?”

“He’s a private person, sir. All his meetings and talks are usually in closed rooms.” He nods.

“Funny thing is that I heard you and the prince were friends.” I feel myself sweating. 

“I tried to make conversation a couple of times, yes, and he did talk with me, but I wouldn’t call it friendship.” No, I was just having the biggest crush on him. 

“Good to know.” He smiles. “I was a bit worried, but I knew that you, Simon, my Simon, wouldn’t be friends with someone as the prince, right?” He looks a bit scary. “You would never be friends with someone so selfish, and arrogant. Someone who doesn’t care about anything but his position. Am I right?” He steps closer, and I step back.

“I - I-”

“Tell me, Simon, how the prince is? I think it would be really good if we have a word from an inside person to spread through the people. It would be great if they could know how their future king is in reality, I could make you talk with some magazine to give an exclusive to them. Anonymous obviously.” He had a maniac smile on his face. “So, tell me.”

“I - I really don’t know.” If I lied and agreed with him, he could tell people that someone who knew the prince told him that their future king was a terrible person. But if I told him the truth, it would blow my cover. “As I told you, sir, I don’t know him very well, Baz is a private person.” When his smile gets wider, I realise my mistake.

“Baz? You know, it’s weird that you and the prince are not friends and yet, you call him by his nickname.”

I don’t know what to say. There is no lie that I could say to fix the mistake I made. 

I keep stepping back, and Davy steps closer. I listen to Dev and Niall behind me, his steps closer, and I know they are a second away from blowing the whistle. 

"I'm so disappointed with you, Simon -" He would keep talking, but something makes him stop.

I hear some steps a bit away and that must be what Davy heard it too because he stopped walking. He looks around, probably trying to recognise the source of the sound. He steps back, and only then looks at me.

“You will see me again, Simon.” And then he runs, leaving the castle grounds.

I hear Dev and Niall walking to me and I turn to them.

“Do we send a guard after him?” I shake my head.

“No, Baz doesn't want to arrest him yet.” Some seconds later five guards appear. 

“What are you three doing here?”

“We thought we heard something and came to check, but we will go back to our post now,” Dev says and starts to walk back to the castle.

I don’t wait for an answer and go too, with Niall by my side. 

This was useless. I didn’t have anything to tell Baz tomorrow. It didn’t help anything and now, I ruined my cover. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 07

 Baz

I don’t sleep all night. I know that if something really bad had happened, Dev, Niall or even Simon would have come to tell me. But that doesn’t leave me very calm. Actually, it just makes me more nervous.

Eventually, I do fall asleep, more for exhaustion than anything else, and only wake up with the sunlight in my eyes. I look at the clock on my wall and see that I slept a little more than I should. I don’t even bother changing my clothes, before opening the door and pulling Snow inside my room. 

He jumps with the sound of my door, and I can see that he was not waiting to be pulled to my room without even a ‘Good morning’. He looks at my pyjamas for a moment, and he looks a bit embarrassed, but I don’t have time to be embarrassed myself.

“So, what happened?” My question makes his eyes flick back to mine. 

“Well, I suppose that I can say that it was bad.” He seems worried.

“Why?”

“He found out that I’m not with him anymore.” He sighs. “I was trying to do what you told me, to look worried about him, but he asked me about you. He heard from someone that we were friends, and he wanted to know more about it. I tried to deny it, but then I accidentally called you Baz. He was suspecting already, I think I was convincing him, but when I called you by name-” He tugs his curls. “I’m sorry, it was automatic, I just said your name.” That’s a bit endearing. 

“Well, it was not the plan, but it’s not your fault.” He keeps pulling his hair, but I pull his arms down, which makes him look at me again. “We knew that meeting Davy had risks, he probably has other spies in here, so as you said he already knew that you were not on his side, he just wanted confirmation.”

“What I gave it to him.” He sounds frustrated.

“It’s not your fault.” I say again. “How did you get away from him anyway? After he found out.”

“Some guards were getting closer, he got scared with the noise and left. Said I would see him again.” He shakes his head. “This whole thing was useless, he didn’t tell me anything and now he knows the truth.”

“That’s okay, it was a long shot anyway. What matters is that you’re okay and now you don’t need to lie anymore.”

“I guess.”

A knock on the door makes both of us jump and look scared to each other. A maid comes in and Simon just starts talking.

“Are you sure you are okay, Your Highness? It was just a nightmare?” I almost laugh, but just keep my face neutral.

“Yes, thank you for the concern, Soldier Snow, but it was just a nightmare.” 

“I’m sorry to interrupt Your Highness,” The maid seems confused. “but Your Majesty would like to speak with you.” My mood dropped. 

“Oh, okay. I’ll just change my clothes and then I’ll be going.” She bows and leaves. “I would like it if they started to wait for me to say that they can come in, before coming in. I think I’ll start locking the door.” I sigh. “Wait for me outside, I’ll change my clothes and then we go. My father hates to keep waiting.”

“Okay.” He looks at me, like he’s about to say something else, but gives up and leaves the room.

I felt this weird need of opening the door and asking him what he was about to say. To look at his face again, touch his hair and feel his skin against mine. I shake my head, trying to expel this thought, but of course, it doesn't work. 

The more I think that I have to stop thinking about Simon, the more I do think about him. I know that it does me no good, but I can’t help it. It’s like he’s the sun, pulling me closer, and then making me burn. 

He’s waiting for me when I open the door. We walked without saying a word, I guess we both were afraid of someone listening to whatever we had to say. Simon gives me a look that I interpreted as his way of giving me good luck before I enter my father’s room. 

My father is waiting for me sitting behind his desk. He looks up when I open the door, and I can see that he’s not looking furious or anything like that. If anything, I would say that he looks scared, and a bit sad. 

“Good morning, father.”

“Basilton.” He greets me.

“Is everything okay?” I sat in front of him.

“Yes, just the rebel attacks.” He shakes his head. “But I didn’t call you here to talk about that. Now that the Elite has started, we should give a ball to celebrate the ten girls that are still here, especially because one of them will be the future queen.” I nod, not wanting to talk about that. I hated to talk about it. “The ball will be on Friday, Sylvia is already talking to the girls, they will help to organise it. It will serve also as a task for them, so we can see who deals better with it.”

“Okay. Is that all?” If I already hated talking about the competition with anyone, it was worse with my father.

“Yes, well -” He clears his throat. “I know you don’t want us to choose anything for you, but we can’t let this keep going further. We decided that the Selection will have to end in a month. And before you say anything else, let me just tell you that the main thing that the rebels are using against us is the Selection. If we want the attacks to stop, then we have to finish it soon enough.”

“What? You can’t make this - You can’t pressure me like this - I- ” I couldn’t believe this.

“Basilton.” My father calls my name and it’s his tone, like he was tired, sad even, that made me stop talking. “I know that we had our differences, and you may not believe me, but I’m doing this to prevent the rebel attacks from happening all over our kingdom.” He stops for a second. “I know you hate this competition, and you hate me for putting you in this position, but it’s the only way, the only thing we can do to help. I really wished that you could do things as you wanted to, follow your own heart. But you can’t. You’re the heir prince, and you have duties with your crown.”

I don’t know what to say. I never heard him talk like that. He stands from his chair and comes to my side. 

“You should go to do your tasks, I have a meeting with a few people this morning.” I nod and stand from my chair too. When we reach the door, he puts his hand on my shoulder. “I’m really sorry that things have to be this way.” I nod again because I don’t know what else to do. “Do you want to say something?”

I had so many things to say, but looking at the exhausted face of my father I just shook my head.

“No, I’ll do what you said. The Selection will end in a month.” I saw a bit of relief in his eyes.

 Simon

Baz was talking to his father for some minutes now. I saw the concern on his face when the maid told him that his father wanted to see him. I know how much he hates these conversations, the pressure that his father always puts on him

Unfortunately, I couldn't do anything to help, to cheer him even a bit. He was already worried about what had happened yesterday. I won’t lie, it was good to see that he was worried and relieved this morning when he saw that nothing serious had happened. I know that probably it wasn't about me, not entirely at least, but it was good to see it. 

I hear some steps inside the room behind me, and when they are close to the door, I can hear what they’re saying. 

“I’m really sorry that things have to be this way.” The king says, and for once he doesn’t sound angry. He just sounds tired. “Do you want to say something?” 

I expect Baz to say something, to yell, to curse his father like I already heard him doing it. But instead of that, he just says.

“No, I’ll do what you said.” Baz sounds defeated, as he had given up hope. “The Selection will end in a month.” My heart could easily be broken by now. 

I already knew that this was Baz’s future. End the Selection, marry one of the girls and be a king. 

But it doesn’t mean that it doesn't hurt to know that in one month he will make his choice. That he will give his heart to someone else. Someone that it's not me.

I don’t know what surprises me more. The fact that thinking about this hurts, a lot, like my heart, was being crushed, broken. 

Or the fact that it took me so long to realise that my feelings are deeper than I previously thought. 

Of course, it isn't just a crush. Of course, it’s not something that I’ll easily forget and move on. It’s so much bigger than that. Much more intense. Having Baz by my side was like drinking hot chocolate on a cold day. It gives me this warm feeling of being at home.

And all of that is because I love him. I love him more than I ever loved anyone.  

And now, thinking that in a month he will be with someone else, and I won't even be able to tell him how I feel, it’s terrible. Like the worst pain that I could imagine.   

“Are you okay?” He asks me when his father closes the door.

“What?” 

“You’re making a face, something happened?” I shake my head.

“No, I was just thinking. It was nothing.” I didn’t want to talk about it in front of him. “So, is everything okay in there?” I point to the door.

“Yeah.” Baz can’t lie very well. Despite wanting to put a facade to people, when he is upset, he is like an open book. I don’t know if everyone realises, or if it is just me, who observes him a lot. “This week we will have a ball to celebrate the elite. He just wanted me to know it.”

“You seem upset.” I try to get something from him.

“It’s nothing.” He shakes his head. “I have to choose some girl as my favourite, and well, I don’t have favourites, not to marry anyway.” He shrugs. 

“They want you to choose someone?”

“No, it’s just that at this level of the competition, it’s good if the people start to see the real possibilities. Who are the girls more likely to be chosen.” He’s not looking at my eyes. “Probably, I’ll put Penny as my favourite, I’ll not marry her, but while I don’t make a real choice, it’ll be good.”

I look around and see that there is no one around, so I stop and put my hand on his shoulder making him stop either.

“Baz.” He looks down at me, and I see that his eyes are a bit red. “By now I know you enough to know when you’re upset with something.” I didn’t want to tell him that I heard part of the conversation. I’ll let him tell me if he wants to. If he feels comfortable doing it. “You don’t need to tell me anything, but I just wanted to tell you that if you need to talk, I’ll be here to listen. No judgments or pressure. I’ll just listen.” His eyes tear up a bit and he looks away.

“It’s nothing.” He clears his throat. “Just the normal pressures that my father always puts on me. I’m just tired of the competition and the attacks. I just wanted a day to not think about anything.”

“Do you want to take a day off?” I can see exactly the minute where he changes. He straightened his posture and built his facade again, to something different, someone different, and I don't know why.

“No, I’m okay. Now let’s go, I have a meeting with the counsellors in a few minutes.”

He doesn’t wait for my answer, just turns and goes. I don't even have time to say that he had to take his breakfast first. So, I just ran after him, worried about what the conversation with his father made with him. 

Baz keeps himself busy the rest of the day and I barely have time to talk to him. Not that would make a difference. Every time I tried to talk to him he just gave me simple answers or ignored me.

When the night guard comes to replace me, I leave with a feeling that I’m missing something. That it’s not just the date to end the selection that it’s making him like that, so hopeless, and not knowing leaves me mad. 

I go to sleep waiting that the next day will bring me answers, or at least a happier Baz, but it’s all empty hopes. Again, he doesn’t talk to me, not really. It’s like our friendship stopped existing, and I don’t know what to do. 

If I talk to him, he ignores me completely, so eventually, I just stop talking at all. I feel this barrier growing between us and I don’t know what I did to Baz starts to act like that. I must have done something to upset him. It’s the only thing I can think of. 

And all of it just made me see that my heart could be even more broken. That even not having Baz in the way I truly wanted, was better than not having him at all. Seeing that he closed himself so much hurts me. A lot. 

“Simon.” Penny stops me when I’m going back to my room. “What happened? I know that something happened because you and Baz look depressed, honestly, it’s sad looking at you both.” I don’t know what to say, because I didn’t know what happened as well.

“I don’t know Penny. Seriously, I don’t know. He just stopped talking with me.”

“What? Why?” 

“It’s what I’m telling you, I don’t know.” She frowns.

“Then tell me what you know.”

So, I told her about his conversation with his father, what I heard. She makes some faces when I tell, but doesn’t interrupt me. 

“And that’s it. I don’t know what could have happened. I don’t know if I did something that made him mad.”

“I think I’ll have a conversation with him.” 

“Do you know anything about it?”

“Probably, but I’ll talk to him first.” And then she leaves. Making me more confused than before.

When I lay down on my pillow that night, I remember him telling his father that the Selection would end in a month. And tried to connect with the fact that he’s not talking with me anymore. 

I don’t come to any solution, and that just makes me fall asleep thinking about Baz. 

 Baz

My days become boring, I keep doing my duties with the girls and with the crown, but my head it's not on it. I can’t find a way to stop thinking about what my father said to me, to stop thinking about my choice. And that the day of my decision it’s coming closer. 

I barely talk to anyone, and worst of all, I also stopped talking to Simon. I didn’t mean to, not at first, but then I realised that maybe it would be easier to focus on the competition, on my choice, if I stopped talking to him. 

The better solution was to stop thinking about him, to stop having feelings for him, but I know that’s impossible, so I tried the next best thing. I can’t think about my wedding with him by my side. I can’t look at him knowing that I will never have him. It’s just making my heartbreak more and more.

I know that Simon is confused about my behaviour, sad even, but I can’t let him in again. I can’t allow myself to be friends with him, knowing that it will only hurt me more. So, I pushed him away. It’s better, for both of us.

I’m lying on my bed, thinking about the bad luck I have, when a knock on the door makes me jump. For a second I thought that it’s Simon, but it passed the time of his shift. When I open the door, I see Penny on the other side looking a bit angry.

“Your highness, I would like to talk to you for a minute.” I nod to the guard, who lets her in. I just close the door and she punches my arm.

“Ouch, what is that for?” I ask, a little scared of her.

“What the hell are you doing? Why did you stop talking with Simon?”

“Look, this has nothing to do with you okay? It’s too complicated.”

“It has everything to do with me, you both are my friends. And you two look miserable. And I know about what your father said to you, Simon heard it and told me. He knows that you are mad about ending the competition, but he has no idea of what this has to do with him.”

“If you know all of it, then you know why I have to stop talking to him.”

“No, it still doesn't make any sense.” She rolls her eyes. “Why did you stop talking to him?”

“Because I love him.” She looks shocked by my answer. “I love him, Pen, and I can’t keep doing this to myself. I can’t keep trying to have him somehow, while I walk to the aisle.” I felt a few tears in my eyes. “I wanted to find a way to stop the competition, to just follow my heart. But I can’t. And it’s killing me, I know how I’m sounding, but it’s true. Every time I see him, when I talk to him, I fall in love even more.” The tears are rolling down my cheeks. 

Penny comes closer and hugs me. I cry for a while on her shoulders.

“I always wanted a happy ending, I always wanted to find someone and fall in love. But I never thought it would be like this, that I would have to get married, while I loved someone else.”

“Baz.” Her voice is kind now. “I’m really sorry for all of it. Believe me, if I could, I would find a way to help you and him. But -” She shrugs. “I don’t even know what to say. I didn’t know your feelings were so deep.” I just shake my head, I don’t know what else to say. “I just don't think that stopping talking with Simon will fix this. Because it’s just hurting you and him. He thinks it is his fault that he did something wrong.” That breaks my heart even more. 

“I didn't know he would care so much.”

“Of course he cares. He is your friend and he likes you Baz, more than you think.” There is something in her eyes that I can’t understand completely. I almost don’t think about her words. “I have to go now, but promise me that you will think about what I said?” 

“Okay. I’ll think about it.” I say, not paying much attention.

She says some things that I don’t listen to and leaves. I go back to my bed, and lie down, looking at the ceiling, trying to put my thoughts in order. 

Some things of what Penny said to me, and what I said to her keep replaying in my head. I never had admitted out loud that I loved Simon. That was a recent discovery and one that I was keeping inside my head. But it was true, it was useless trying to deny it. 

I loved Simon. And I never loved anyone, not like that. I didn’t know that loving someone could be so good and so terrible at the same time. Sometimes, I wished that this feeling would go away, that I could stop loving him. But almost all the time I think that knowing him, falling in love with him, was one of the best things that happened to me. And I wouldn't trade that for anything. 

The next few days are excruciating. Seeing Simon, feel his presence so close to me, makes me almost lose my mind. I almost apologise and tell him everything. But I don’t, because this is the easiest way. Even if I have to hurt both of us, and I hate to think that I’m hurting him somehow. 

Almost all the girls are insane with the ball, and I spend most of my time with Penny because she is the only one who understands what is going on with me. And also because she lets me just stay in silence during our dates. 

The counsellors, and my father, are not happy with the amount of time I spend with Penelope. They wanted me with Agatha, for them she is the best choice, but I can’t see that happening. She is a nice and decent girl, but she doesn’t want this, she doesn't want to marry me. I can see that in her eyes, and I would never choose someone who doesn’t want to be chosen. 

I still don’t know who I’ll choose. I didn’t want to choose, but I knew I didn’t have many options. And that is all that I think about. Especially now that the rebels gave us a break in their attacks and we are not even a bit close to finding them. 

Whenever I go, I feel everyone’s eyes on me, following me, questioning what happened. Why I’m acting this way, why I’m not talking and why - more than never - I look so lost.

I try, for a good number of times, to disconnect my mind, to just stop thinking about the wedding, the Selection, Simon, but nothing works. Not even reading help, it’s like all the books got boring, and all I see are blank pages in front of me. 

And just to make everything better, the fact that the rebels are quiet for a while, made our searches even harder. If it was hard to find them before, now it’s impossible. I don’t know if they are planning something if knowing that Simon is not on their side, made them change their plans, or whatever. We just know that they are quiet, and I don’t think this is a good thing. 

The security around the castle got bigger, but that doesn't make me feel safe, because I don’t know how many of our guards are loyal to us. My father wants to increase my guard, but I still refuse it. I don’t trust anyone now. Well, except for Simon, of course. 

 *****

The morning of the ball is unnerving. Most of the girls are excited about it and it’s a bit annoying. They don’t stop talking for one second during breakfast, which gives me a headache. I give them fake smiles and pretend to be happy as well, so they can just stop asking things to me. 

I give an excuse and leave earlier to do my tasks for the day, but the counsellors say that I should rest for the ball. So, in the end, I go back to my room, where I stay for the rest of the day. 

Some hours later a group of people comes to dress me. I hate having someone help me to dress, but I just want this day to end, so I don’t complain, I just let them dress me. I leave my room when I’m ready, and Simon is not at my door anymore, his shift has already ended, which makes me sad and happy. At least I wouldn't have to see him. 

The ballroom is beautifully decorated, the girls are talking between themselves, all of them are dressed properly for a formal ball. They stop talking when they see me, and I have to put on a happy mask and smile at them. 

There are some guards too because I couldn't dance with all the girls at the same time. I'm thinking if Simon will be here when I see his bronze curls in a corner. I force myself to look away and walk to the girls.

A couple of minutes later, my father walks in, and the ball officially starts. My first dance is with Penny, making her my favourite. The other girls dance with the guards and I see Simon dancing with Agatha. They look good together, and that makes me a bit jealous.

"You want to know what I think?" Penny asks, making me look at her. 

"You will tell me anyway." I shrug and she rolls her eyes.

"I think that you should tell him how you feel." Her voice is low, but I still look around us to see if someone is listening. 

"You can't be serious." 

"Of course I am. I thought a lot about it, and I believe that telling him would be the best thing to do." I'm a bit shocked to say anything. "You may be surprised by what could happen." She smiles and the song ends.

I'm still thinking about the meaning of her words when she leaves and another song starts.

 Simon

I can’t take my eyes from Baz. Not for too long. Not when he is looking more gorgeous than I thought it was possible. He, on the other hand, is not looking at me. Since he walked into the ballroom, he didn’t look at me once. Not that I have seen it anyway.

He already danced with all the girls, and now is dancing with Penelope again. I think he did what he told me, and put Penny as his favourite. But his father doesn’t seem happy about it. 

The king is dancing with Agatha, and she is not looking very thrilled but is smiling politely at him. When the song ends, he stops by Baz’s side, and I’m close enough to hear what he says.

“I think I didn’t have the honour of dancing with Miss Bunce yet. So, let’s exchange.” He’s smiling, but he’s the only one. Baz is frowning but takes Agatha's hands.

They dance, but I can see that neither of them is happy. I also see that the king is talking with Penny. I’m too far to listen, but I can see his lips moving, and Penny frowning, looking a bit scared actually. He must be threatening her. 

I know that he doesn’t want Penny as Baz’s wife, so he must be telling her something. I step closer to them, and when the song ends I stop by their side.

“Your majesty.” I greet him. “Miss Bunce, I believe we haven't danced yet.” She nods but still looks a bit frightened.

“Of course.” She tries to smile.

“I will leave you both then.” The king smiles, but I can’t see any truth in it.

“What happened? What did he say to you?” I ask when we start to dance, but she shakes her head.

“Not now Simon.” 

“He threatened you?” I ask in a low voice.

“I - I can’t talk about it.” 

I don’t know what to say, so I just look around to see if the king is looking at us, but I find Baz watching us. He seems worried. I see that he’s almost coming to where we are, but I shake my head and look to his father, who is talking with some counsellors that joined the ball some minutes ago. 

Baz is looking at his father when I look at him again, but when our eyes meet, he nods, still looking worried.

“Do you wanna go somewhere to talk?” She shakes her head again.

“I’m fine, I was just surprised.” I was about to ask what he was saying when she cut me. “I’ll tell you later. Not here, with so many eyes and ears.” I nod, still curious about it. 

Some songs later, I’m watching the couples dance while I walk through the ballroom. I’m close to the king and the counsellors, and I can hear what they’re saying.

“As I already had told you before, Agatha is the best choice. She will be an excellent queen.” The king says.

When I look around, I see that this time Baz was close too, and probably heard it. He stops the dance with one of the girls and turns to his father. 

“Father, I wished to have a word with you.” His tone is calm, but I can see in his eyes that he’s furious.

His father nods, a bit embarrassed for being heard. They leave to a corner where they talk. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but I can see that Baz is gesturing a lot. His father says something, also looking furious, and then Baz turns and leaves. 

No one seems to have noticed what just happened, just me. I see that Baz is heading to the gardens, and I don’t even think twice. I go after him.

It takes some time to find him because he went to the middle of the huge garden. Far away from the castle. He’s sitting on a bench when I reach the place. At first, he doesn’t see me but looks up when I walk on a branch.

“Hey,” I say. He turns away, trying to hide his tears from me. “I know that you don’t want to talk to me, but I noticed that you are not looking really good, and I saw your fight with your father. And you know, if you want to talk, I’m still here.” I wait for a few seconds, but he doesn’t reply. I’m almost turning away when he says something.

“Why are you still being nice to me?” He looks at me. “I’ve been terrible to you, and yet you are here. Why?” How could I answer without telling the truth? 

Baz

Simon sighs and sits on the bench beside me. After some seconds of silence, he says.

“Because I care about you, and I know that whatever happened, made you sad.” I look away. Looking into his eyes was hypnotizing. 

“Nothing happened, not anything that I didn’t know anyway.” I shrug. 

“Baz.” I look at him again. “I know that you never were a big fan of this competition, but you always knew that eventually, you would have to choose, so something happened. Something changed, and that's making you sad.”

“I - It’s just - It’s complicated, you wouldn't get it.” I never had so much trouble talking.

“Try me.” He challenges me. “I know that you never liked this idea, and you hate how everyone pressures you. And I know that you don't like these girls -” I take this chance to cut him and tell the truth.

“I don’t like girls. At all. Not only these girls.” I stop for a second, but then I don’t want to give him a chance to talk, so I close my eyes and tell him what was going through my mind. “I always thought that when I was older they would find some foreign princess for me to get married or something, so when my father came with the idea of the Selection was terrible. But even then, I thought I had more time, that they would wait for me to get older, and then I would find a way out. So, when they told me that the competition would start now, I almost freaked out, but I couldn't cancel, because everyone thought it was a good idea. It was my father’s idea anyway, and he knows about me. That’s why he wants me to get married to a girl.”

“You don’t like girls, that means you like boys? Because I know that there are people who don’t like either boys or girls, and that's okay, I just-” He is just talking nervously now. 

“Snow.” I stopped him. “I do like boys. And my father thinks it’s terrible because people would hate to have a gay king. Penelope found out, and she thinks he’s wrong that as long as I’m a good king, no one would care about who I’m married to.”

“I think she is right. I came from the common people, and I grew up with a group that hates all of you. And not even once I heard them talking about the love life of anyone inside the royalty. Even in the streets, they don’t want to know who you love, or who you’ll get married to. They want to know if you’ll help to end poverty or if they will have what to eat tomorrow or if you will listen to their voices.” His voice has so much conviction that I believe in him. “Really, I don’t think they would mind with you being gay.” And then he smiles.

“Why are you smiling?” That makes him smile even more. 

“I just -” He shakes his head and stands. “Dance with me.” I look surprised at him.

“What?”

“Dance with me.” He’s still smiling. “We’re far away from the castle, and it’s just the two of us here. And it’s supposed to be a ball, so I want to dance. Come on. Dance with me.” I keep looking at him for a few seconds, but then I smile too and I stand to dance with him. 

There is no music, but we make it work in the same way. The sky above us is full of stars, and there is no one around. It’s just the two of us, dancing. 

We are so close, that I can feel his breathing. I can almost feel his heartbeat. My own heart's beating so fast that I’m afraid that he’ll notice.

After some minutes, he looks up, still smiling, and says.

“I have to confess something.” His cheeks are a bit red. 

“Okay.” My voice is almost a whisper. I’m afraid that if I talk too loud, this moment will end.

“I want to kiss you.” His words make me blush, and my heart beats even faster. 

“I have to confess something either,” I repeat his sentence, and he smiles.

“Okay.” 

“I want you to kiss me.” His smile gets even bigger.

And then he leans in my direction, his eyes closing. When he is close enough I lean in his direction too, closing the distance between us. 

I feel that I’m dreaming when I feel his lips against mine. His mouth is hot, just like his skin. I don’t know very well what to do, I’ve only kissed one person one time, a couple of years ago, and it wasn't good. But Simon seems to know what to do, so I let him lead us. 

His lips taste exactly like I thought they would, but a thousand times better. Because this is real. He's real.  

Simon

When I followed Baz to the gardens, I was not thinking about kissing him. I mean, lately, all that I do is think about kissing him, but that was not why I followed him.

But when he told me the things he did, I felt lighter. It was like the pieces of the puzzle were fitting. So, I asked him to dance with me, because I wanted to feel him close. But when he was close to me, the only thing I could think of was how his lips would taste. 

And now, I was kissing him.

I don’t have much experience with kisses. I dated a girl a few years ago, but it was nothing serious, we barely kissed. And definitely, it was nothing like now. 

Baz lips are a bit cold, but it doesn't matter because I always feel too hot, so it’s perfect. I feel his tongue against mine, and I’m sure that any second now I’ll wake up and see that this is a dream.

But luckily that doesn’t happen. 

I feel Baz’s hands on my lower back, thankfully holding me because otherwise, I’m sure I would fall. I have both hands on his hair, which feels more amazing than it looks, but I want to touch his skin so I cup his cheek, brushing his skin. 

I don’t know how long it passes. I don’t really care, but eventually, we do break apart. I lean my forehead to touch his. 

I’m not sure if I should tell him my real feelings. I don’t know if I would scare him if I said that I love him. But I feel that I need to say. 

“I have to confess another thing.” I start, my voice is so low that I’m not sure he listened. “I- Well, I -” I’m having some trouble speaking now. 

“I have something to confess either, so let me go first.” I nod because I have to think in a way to tell him what I want to say. “I’m sorry I pushed you away. I thought it was the only way, that if I had to keep the Selection going and choose one of them, I would have to keep you away.”

“Why?” I ask, still confused.

“Because -” He sighs, and takes a deep breath. “Because I’m in love with you. And if I could choose, I would choose you. Thinking about marrying someone else hurts. It hurts like hell. So, I thought that if I had already stopped talking with you, maybe it would make things easier.” I can’t believe it. My brain's still trying to understand everything he said.

He’s in love with me. 

That’s far more than I ever thought it was possible.  

Baz

When I stop talking, I look at Simon again, and he has this weird look in his eyes. He clears his throat and starts talking.

“When I think about you getting married to someone else, it hurts like hell too. All the times that I remember why I’m here, why all the girls are here, I feel sick, I feel like someone stabbed me.” His blue eyes are locked on mine. “I hate to think that you will get married, I hate to think that this is your future. Because I’m in love with you too, and I-” I don’t wait for him to finish. 

I crash my lips against his. 

Simon Snow is in love with me.  

For a minute, I don’t care about the Selection, the wedding, my father or anything else. I just care about Simon. And the only thing I can think is how he fits in my arms and how to kiss him is better than I’ve ever imagined. 

When we break apart again, I start to think that I don’t want to let him go. Not tonight. I must be making a face because Simon says.

“Don’t think about anything, just give us this moment.” He whispers.

“I’m not, I’m just thinking that I don’t want this moment to end,” I confess. “I have an idea. It’s almost midnight, the ball is close to the end. There’s someone who checks if you’re in your room at night?” I ask him already tracing a plan.

“No, we just have to present ourselves when the shift ends. I already did it today.”

“Okay, I need to pass in my room then, I need to leave a note.”

“Are you thinking about running away?” He asks a bit scared, which makes me laugh.

“No. Well, not really. Inside the grounds of the castle, we have some properties. I want to go to a cottage we have. It’s small and quiet, and there’s no one in there, and we could be together.” I blush at my words. “I mean, it was just an idea if you don’t want it -” This time he cuts me, pressing his lips on mine.

“I think it is a great idea.” He smiles, blushing too.

“Let’s go then.” I take his hand and it feels great.

We walk together through empty places. I know everything about this castle, so I know all the routes to my room. I take the corridors that most likely will be empty. We don’t see anyone else, which is really lucky. 

When we reach my room, I close the door and ask Simon to wait, while I change my clothes to something more simple. When I’m finished, I leave a note on top of my bed. 

I need some time to think. 

Don’t worry, I’m fine.

 I’m still in the castle, and I took guards with me. 

Baz.

“Done. This way my father won’t freak out.” I say. “Now come on, before someone shows up.” He takes my hand this time and we leave.  

Simon

Somehow, no one sees us. Which makes it a lot easier, leave the castle and go to the cottage that Baz mentioned.

I was really surprised when he suggested it. I thought he would act as nothing happened, but I’m glad he didn’t. Now that I know how is to kiss him, to be held by him, I don’t know how I’ll let it go. Let him go.

I expel these thoughts when we get to the cottage.

“You don’t think someone will find us here?” I ask once we are inside. 

“We have some places like this one, spread on the grounds. And if you already noticed, the castle grounds are pretty huge. And there are a lot of hideouts inside the castle and closed wings that no one uses. If my father decides to look for me, he’ll have some trouble.” I turn to him and he steps closer. “But now I don’t wanna talk about my father.” I see a hint of blush on his cheeks, but the place is dark, so I’m not sure.

“What do you wanna talk about then?” I ask stepping even closer.

“For now? I don’t think I wanna talk at all.” He smirks and before I could reply, he was already kissing me.

Honestly, if thinking about kissing Baz was nice, really kissing him was amazing. Not that it surprises me, he’s perfect in everything he does. 

One of his hands is at my neck and the other at my waist, and the way he’s holding me, the way he’s in control, makes me a bit weak. He likes having control of all the situations, I don’t see why this would be different. And besides, I like that he is the one in control.

We step back a bit, trying to catch our breath again. 

“Why did you wanna come here?” I ask.

“Because I can’t think in there.” He nods to the castle. “And I didn’t want to let you go, and if we were in there, you would have to leave, and at least today I would like to sleep with you by my side.” His eyes are locked on mine.

“Good then, I want you by my side too.” I lean against him and feel his arms around me. 

“Simon?” I look at him again. “What we - I don’t know how we’re going to -”

“Shhh.” I cut him. “Let’s not think about anything else tonight.” I cup his cheek. “Let’s just think about us.” He smiles at me.

“Okay, then.”

His lips find mine again, and even though we have a lot of things to worry about, right now nothing else matters. Tonight all I care about is Baz and me.

Chapter Text

Chapter 08

 Baz

I’m at my wedding. 

It’s the first thing I notice.

I’m a bit confused about how I got here, but I see myself on the aisle and hundreds of faces looking at me. My father is looking proud and a bit emotional and that makes me afraid of who I chose. Which one of the girls will be walking to the aisle in a few minutes?

I’ve feared this day so much for so long, and I know that from now on I will have to live a fake life. I’ll have to pretend to be someone I’m not. All I want to do is scream and run away, to give away my crown. But then a song starts to play and the most amazing thing happens.

I see Simon walking to me. He’s smiling and looking so fucking beautiful. He is wearing a grey suit, and I realise that I’ve never seen him in other clothes than his uniform. And he looks incredible in this suit, and I thought this was impossible. 

Everyone is watching Simon too, and everyone seems happy just like we are. Simon is a bit embarrassed for all the attention, but I can see that above everything else, he’s happy. There are tears in his eyes, but I know that it's happy tears. And that makes me realise the truth. 

I’m getting married to Simon. 

Suddenly all the fear leaves me, and all I can do is smile like I never did before, like I never allowed myself before. I can’t believe that after all, I’m getting married to him. I can’t believe that we will be together forever.

Simon is almost reaching me when I feel something change. It's like the air gets heavier. And I barely have time to think before a man appears behind Simon. I know that it’s Davy, the man who raised Simon. The man who we know as the Mage, the leader of the rebels. He looks at me and gives a cruel smile. And before I could open my mouth to say anything, to pull Simon to me, or do anything else, he pulls a gun and shoots at Simon.

A bullet right through his head.

I feel his blood on my face, and then Simon’s body is falling on top of me, and it’s only then that I can scream and cry. I yell for help, but no one comes. And when I look up, I see that everyone is gone and I’m alone with Simon’s lifeless body.

And then, I open my eyes. 

I breathe relieved to see that it was only a nightmare. I close my eyes again, trying to breathe slower. To calm my heartbeats and convince myself that this is real, that whatever I dreamed is just that, a dream, a nightmare. 

Then, when my heart is beating slower and my breathing is calmer, I open my eyes again and notice that the sky it’s still dark and the sun hasn't come out yet. The second thing I notice is that I'm much warmer than I usually am. It takes me a second to feel Simon's arm around my waist and his warm body behind me. 

And then I smile, knowing that this is real. What happened yesterday is real and not what I just dreamed of. I smile again remembering the taste of his lips and the way he told me that he was in love with me. This is real.

Carefully, I turn to face Simon. He's still asleep, and he looks so peaceful and so handsome that I press my lips on his cheeks, feeling the urge to touch him somehow, to feel that he’s alive and here, with me. And no one can hurt him now. 

All I want to do is keep looking at him and make sure that this will last, but then other things start to pass through my mind. Another thought that makes me afraid. 

I don't know how things will be from now on, but I can't picture my life without Simon anymore. If it was already hard to think of being without him before, now was impossible. Now, I know how is to kiss him, how is to love him and being loved by him. And thanks to my nightmare, I also know how it would feel to lose him. 

The words of my father about my duties with my crown were still loud in my head, but Simon's words to me were loud too. What he said about people being okay with me being gay. And about how thinking about me getting married hurt him.

I had to think about it. Now, it wasn't only my feelings to consider. 

"Hey." I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't notice that Simon woke up until he talks to me. "It's too early for you to be thinking this hard." He is already smiling brightly at me. And I’m so happy to see his blue eyes, so full of life and happiness. 

"I wasn't thinking. I was admiring you." Partially true. The look on his face - like he knew that I was lying - makes me smile too. "Good morning." 

"Good morning." He leans a bit in my direction until his lips are almost touching mine. "Why are you awake this early?" 

"I don't know, I just woke up." I don’t want to tell him about the nightmare. We already had other things to worry about.

"But we can stay here, right? Just laying on the bed." Since last night, Simon is less shy with the things he says. But I feel my cheeks heating. 

"I don't see why not." Then he smiles, and his lips are on mine in a second. 

This was a dream coming true, a really good one. Wake up in Simon’s arms, and being kissed by him first thing in the morning, seeing his goofy and sleepy smile at me. I could easily get used to that, which is terrible because I don’t know if I should get used to that.

And that makes me think that royalty is a bit weird, because my mother and my father had different rooms, just like other kings and queens, but I always thought that it was a ridiculous tradition. I used to think that when I got married, I would want to share the room with the other person. Until I found out that I was supposed to get married to a girl. Then I was thankful for the tradition that would help me in not sleeping in the same room as my wife. 

But now, I can't stop thinking that if I got married to Simon, I would never want him to have another room. I would want him all night and all mornings with me. I would never get sick of this feeling, actually, I would always want more of him. 

But thinking about that also makes me sad because it was a 'what if' situation, I still didn’t know how I would make it turn that into reality. And thinking about the wedding just makes me remember the dream. So, I try to stop thinking about all those sad things and focus on the boy on top of me. 

Which becomes easier with his mouth on my jaw, ear, neck, touching my skin and making me crave for more, he was really good at doing that. 

"So, tell me,” Simon says after we calm ourselves. “Before last night, you had kissed someone?" He sounds curious.

"Once, only one guy," I say. "A couple of years ago, I was starting to be more comfortable with my sexuality, not enough to tell someone other than my friends, but enough to admit to myself who I was. And to notice other boys." I stop for a minute remembering that day. "I was visiting another kingdom with my father, and the other prince was responsible for showing me the castle, but he didn't seem interested in doing that, so his cousin took me and showed me around." Simon is paying total attention to me. "We flirted a bit, and when we were away from everyone, he kissed me. But my father saw it. It was how he found out about me." 

"I'm sorry." He says. "I bet this was not the best way to come out to your father." I shrug.

"Yeah, but I don't know if I'd have the courage to tell him in another moment." Before he could say anything else, I asked. "What about you? Have you kissed anyone?" 

"Yeah, when I was fifteen, I dated a girl for like two months and we kissed sometimes, but it was terrible. Nothing like this." He smiles and kisses me again. 

"So, you like girls too?" I ask, curious. I wanted to know everything about him, and last night we didn't have time to talk, so now it seems like a good moment. 

"Yes, actually until recently I thought I only liked girls." He smiles.

"What made you realise that you liked boys too?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Not what, who." He grins. "For a couple of months, I realised that I found some blokes attractive, but it was only after I met you that I really understood what it meant." It's my time to smile. I'm not gonna lie, it was good to hear this. 

"So, you put your eyes on me and realised that you were not straight?" I tease him, making him laugh and roll his eyes.

"Not exactly. When I saw you for the first time, I hated you, remember?" He's still smiling. "But I thought that you were the most handsome prat I've ever seen." That makes me laugh, and blush a bit. "Seriously," He's laughing too. "I thought: Davy is right, he is a posh twat, but damn he is hot." 

"This was your thought when you saw me for the first time?" I ask him, still laughing.

“Yes. I totally wanted to hate you, to believe in what Davy told me, but something about you made me think twice, made me pay more attention to you. Of course, your beautiful face also helped with that.” I laugh again. “What about you, what did you think when you saw me for the first time?” 

I think for a second, remembering that day where we almost bumped into each other.

“I thought you seemed very young to be a guard. And that you were the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” My words make him give a shy smile to me, and his cheeks blush. It’s adorable and makes me want to kiss him again. “That day, after we met, I spent the whole afternoon trying to think about something else other than you, but I failed. Everything I could think about was your blue eyes.” He stays quiet for a second, and I’m afraid I said something wrong, but when he looks at me again, I see that he was smiling.

“I love you.” He says, still smiling, and I feel my heart missing a beat with his words. “I know that all this situation is not ideal, but I just can’t -” He shakes his head. “I can’t help it. I love you.” 

I crash my lips against his. I really thought he couldn't return my feelings, and here we are. Every time he says something like that to me, I fall even more for him.

"I love you," I say. "I can't help it either." He smiles and comes back to kiss me again.

Simon

We spent almost the entire morning at the bed, snogging, exploring each other, for hours. We don’t have a plan for the day, or the next few days, as a matter of fact, but I don’t think we need to think about that today. Today we just want to stay together.

I also don’t want to think about it now, because I’m afraid that in the end, Baz will just do as people expect. He’ll marry one of the girls from the Selection, and every word we said yesterday and today, every kiss, every touch, will be only a memory that I’ll hold onto. 

It's not that I don’t believe when he says that he loves me, because as incredible as that sounds, I believe in him, I can feel the truth in his words. But I also know that he wants the best for his kingdom, and if the best means to get married to someone else, then he’ll do it. I know he’ll, even if we both get our hearts broken. 

But I put all these thoughts away and focus only on Baz, and in his mouth sucking my earlobe, which is amazing. But then my stomach growls, which makes Baz stop what he was doing, and look at me, his eyebrow arched.

"I'm sorry to cut the moment, I really am," I say, making him laugh. "But I am hungry too." 

“Come on then, I think we can take a break to eat.” He pulls me by my hand.

The sun is shining in the sky, and I realise that everything today looks more beautiful. Like being here with Baz made me see the world with other eyes. Cheesy I know, but true. 

“Why is there food here?” I ask when Baz starts to take some things out of the kitchen.

“We stock all places with supplies, we use these other houses as hideouts as well, so if something happens, the person who stays here will be stocked.” He shrugs.

“Great for us then.” I smile at him. 

We eat in silence, but after some minutes I look at Baz and see that he’s looking outside the windows, and for his face, I know that he’s thinking about something bad. He’s frowning a bit, and I see concern all over his face. So, I reach for his hand across the table, making him look at me.

“What happened?” He shakes his head, and I squeeze his hand. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” He nods.

“I know. But it’s nothing.” He looks away again.

“Baz, I can see that you are worried. You have your ‘thinking face’ and I know that you’re thinking about something you don’t like.” He shakes his head again, and I think he won't say anything, but after some seconds he looks at me and sighs.

“I just -” He stops and closes his eyes, when he opens it again I see the sadness he’s feeling. “I don’t know what to do now. Before this week I was certain that I had to keep my word and go until the end with the selection, marry one of the girls, and at the same time I was trying to figure a way out.” This time he squeezes my hand. “Then, this week, after what my father said, I gave up, I was ready to make the choice and go on with the wedding and everything else.”

He seems so tired, so sad. I think this is a lot to leave on the shoulders of an eighteen years old boy. Prince or not. 

“But now, after last night I just can’t - I can’t think about it. I can’t just give my back to you and pretend that this,” He points to both of us. “didn’t happen. That everything we said and did was nothing because to me it was everything.” His eyes are full of tears. “I know I have a duty with my crown, but -” He looks up and shakes his head again. “I can’t leave you.” He looks at me again and tears are falling on his face.

“Baz.” I feel my throat closing and my eyes burning. I stand from my chair and go to his side. “I don’t want to tell you how you should do all these things, and I don’t want to be responsible for something so big. I don’t want to make you do something you could regret later. But, everything that happened meant everything to me either. You mean everything to me. So, I have to say, I know you, and I know that if you do what they want, what your father wants, you’ll be so miserable, and I would hate to see you less than happy.”

“Simon -” He’s crying now. 

“If I thought that you would be happy doing what they want, then I would leave, I would let you follow what they want without interfering because your happiness is important. But I know how much you hate all of this. Since the first day I was here, I saw how much you hated everything about this competition. And I know that if you marry one of those girls if you try to be someone you are not, you won't be happy, you will hate to have to pretend for the rest of your life.” I feel my own tears falling.

Baz hugs me so tight, that for a moment, I think I won’t be able to breathe. But it's comfortable, it’s like being at home. For some seconds, the only sound in the room is us, crying.

“I’m not saying that your happiness is only at my side,” I say. “Christ, I’m not that arrogant.” Baz makes a sound that I think it's a laugh. “But I think you should end the Selection, even if we don’t stay together.” Even if it hurts to think like that. Baz steps back and looks at me. 

“Simon, I want a future with you.” I can see that he blushes a bit. “I don’t know a lot of things about my life and about what I should do, but I know this. I know that I want you. I don’t think I would be happy without you, not now, not after everything.” He rests his forehead against mine. My heart flips inside my chest. Hearing everything he was saying still seems like a dream.

“Hey,” I say. “I love you, and of course I want to be with you. But we don’t need to talk about it now. I know that there are other things you need to think about, so no pressure, okay? Let’s take a day off. Let’s not think about anything else while we are here.”

“Okay.” He looks at me. “I think it’s a good plan.” He gives me a half-smile.

“Come on then,” I say pulling him by his hand.

“Where are we going?”

“Back to bed.” I smile. “We can do nothing and not think about anything else besides us.” I turn to face him and kiss him.

“I like your plans.” This time he smiles brightly at me. 

 Baz

Simon guides us back to the main room while I still think about what he said. I didn’t want to keep thinking about my decisions and everything else, but I had to tell him what was in my head. And he was incredible as always, telling me exactly the right thing I needed to hear. 

I was still thinking about all the decisions I’ll have to make, but I knew that I wanted Simon in my life, with me. And I don’t care about the rest, not at this moment, not after I felt how it would be to lose him, even if it wasn’t real.  

"I know that we don't have to talk about it today," I say when he pulls me to bed. "But I want you to know that, regardless of what I'm going to do, how I'm going to do it, regardless of the mess that my life is now," I look at his eyes. “I want you. There is a lot that I don’t know, but I'm sure of one thing, you. I want you in my life, with me." He smiles. 

“I want to be in your life. I want you too.”

“Before, my confusion, and doubts, I -” I take a deep breath and look at him. “My doubts were not about you, that’s what I’m trying to say. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I’m not letting you go.” 

“Are you sure? I mean, I want this too, but I want to be sure that you won’t regret it.”

“How could I possibly regret being with you? I love you. You're everything I’ve always wanted.” I push his curls away and give a kiss on his forehead. “When we met you told me you didn’t have a family.” He nods. “I want to be your family, Simon.” He smiles again, but I can see that his eyes are tearing up. 

“I’d love to have you as my family.” His head is on my chest, hearing my heartbeats. He takes my hand and interlaces our fingers, kissing my knuckles after.

“You know, when I was a kid, I was used to seeing my father and my mother together and everything I wanted was a love like that.” Simon frowns. “I know what you are thinking, my father is a terrible person, but before my mother’s death, he was great. And they were in love, like a lot.” I pull Simon even closer to me. “My father was not a noble, he was just a normal man that my mother fell in love with and she fought a lot of people to get married to him. I thought that that was the kind of relationship I wanted to have when I was older, someone it would be worth fighting for.”

“And what about now? You still want that?” I shake my head.

“After I grew up I realised that I wouldn’t have that. And I was right, I am having something a thousand times better, and I have someone that is definitely worth fighting for.” He lifts his head and kisses me. 

“I didn’t expect you to be so romantic.” He laughs.

“And what about you?” 

“I never thought I could have this.” He puts our hands above my heart. “I thought I would be a soldier, and I never let myself think about anything else. I always thought that I didn’t deserve anything like this.”

"That's ridiculous. Of course, you deserve it."

"Well, for the last few years I was always listening about revolutions and all, Davy taught me that. I never heard him talking about love, and never saw it inside the Mummers. And Davy never got married or anything like that, so I thought I had to follow his steps." The mention of Davy's name makes me remember the dream. “What? You’re frowning.” He asks and I shake my head.

“Nothing, it was just a dream I had with him.” I didn’t want to talk about it. 

“What happened in the dream?”

“I - It’s nothing.” He squeezes my hand. “Well, in the dream we were getting married.” I feel my cheeks heating and Simon smiles. 

“That doesn’t sound bad.” He’s still smiling.

“And it’s not. That part was amazing.” I don’t want to remember the other part, but I tell him. “When you were close to me, Davy appeared behind you and shot you. You died in front of me.” I almost tremble with that memory.

“Okay, that’s bad.” I raise my eyebrow at him.

“Bad? It was terrible, not being able to do anything, to save you. I can’t even - I can’t think about that.” He kisses me.

“It was just a dream Baz.” 

“Yeah, but the rebels are still out there and what if they hurt you to get to me? If you still didn’t realise, I don’t want to lose you.” He laughs a bit.

“You don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself, and I don’t think that Davy would hurt me. Not like this anyway.” I must be doing a face because he says. “Stop thinking and worrying about everything. We’ll be fine.”

“I’ll try, I promise.” He kisses me again.

“Good. Now come here, I want to snog you again.” I smile at him.

“And who am I to deny this to you?” He laughs and then his lips are on mine again.

 Simon 

We barely leave the bed for the rest of the day. There is no better thing to do than lay down with Baz and kiss him like the world was about to end, and I think he agrees with me. 

This day has been a dream. And part of me it’s afraid that once we leave this place, everything will end. I know that Baz already said a couple of times that he wants me in his life, but what if something happens? What if his father forces him to marry one of the girls? After spending this day with Baz, I don’t know if I would be able to see him getting married to someone else. 

The sun is almost setting when we start to collect our things to go back to the castle. We wanted to stay for another day, but the King and the counsellors would be worried. And Baz has to deal with the Selection and the girls.

Thinking about the girls makes me remember last night when Baz’s father was dancing with Penny and said something that scared her. I still didn’t know what he had said to her, and now I was feeling guilty because I was so locked inside this bubble that Baz and I are, that I forgot about Penny.

“Hey,” I say to Baz before we leave the cottage. “Yesterday, your father said something to Penny during their dance, and she was scared. Do you know what he said?”

“Unfortunately I do.” He huffs. “When I heard him talk with the counsellors last night about Agatha, I called him and we had a discussion. I said I wouldn’t choose Agatha and he said I couldn't choose Penny because her family was associated with the rebels, so I guess he tried to scare her with that information.”

“What? How did he find out?” I ask, scared about Penny.

“I don’t know, he didn’t want to tell me, so I just said to him that it was probably a lie and he didn’t have permission to send Penny home because of a rumour.”

“You don’t think he would do it right? That he would ignore your orders.”

“I don’t think so, but it doesn't matter anyway, I’ll talk to them tomorrow and the Selection will be cancelled.” That makes me smile. “And I will dismiss all the rumours about Penny’s family.”

“That would be great.” He rubs his neck and I see that he’s nervous about something. “What?”

“I was thinking that maybe it’s time to stop stalling and take on my crown. I think my father already ruled enough. I don’t know if I’m ready, but-” I kiss him, cutting the end of his sentence.

“You’re more than ready. You’re already a leader, a really good one, and you’d be incredible as a King. Well, you already are incredible.” He smiles a bit shy.

“You think so?”

“I’m sure.” This time his smile is brighter.

“Then let’s go, I think I have to make some preparations.”

We leave the cottage and start to walk back to the castle. It's a long walk, but we don’t see or hear anything. When we are close enough to the castle, I drop Baz’s hand. I didn’t want anyone to see us together before he could talk to his father and the counsellors. I look at him and see a weird expression on his face.

“What?”

“There is something wrong. Where are the guards? And why is everything so quiet?” I look around and don’t see anyone.

“Okay, it’s strange.”

Before we could think, before we could even look at each other, we saw dozens of people running in our direction. They were hidden inside the castle, the gardens, the woods behind us. I step in Baz’s direction, but I can’t reach him in time. Two men grab his arms making him kneel.

“No,” I yell. “Let him go.” 

But before I could try to go to him, two men grabbed my arm as well. And it’s when I see that we are surrounded, and I recognise some faces.

“I have to say,” I listen to a familiar voice behind me. “It was a bit easy to catch you both,” Davy says looking at me now. “Hello Simon, I told you that you would see me again.” He smiles and I think that for the first time I see him, for real.

“What have you done?”

“Oh, my spies, the ones who know how to do their jobs, informed me about the ball last night, with everyone inside a single place, it was easier to execute my plan, to invade the castle.” 

“You killed someone?” I ask scared.

“Not who I want to.” He looks at Baz and turns in his direction. “Hello, your Highness.”

“Stay away from him,” I yell, but one of Davy’s men hits me in the head with something that I don’t recognise, and I fall.

“Simon.” I hear Baz yelling.

“I must say, I’m a bit disappointed with you Simon. A part of me knew that you would like the prince, that your soft heart would ruin everything and you would be friends with him.” Davy looks at Baz with a look of disgust. “But I didn’t think you would fall in love with him or that he would fall in love with you too.” He laughs like a madman. I don’t know how he knows about Baz and me, but right now I don’t care. “Let’s go.”

His men, the rebels, grab me making me stand, and I see they are doing the same with Baz.  

“Where is my father, did you kill him?” Baz asks and I see that he’s worried.

“Not yet, but we are halfway there.” Davy makes a sign to his men and we start to walk. “Don’t worry I’m taking you to your father.” He smiles again and one of his men hit Baz on his head and it’s so strong that Baz passes out. 

“No! Baz -” I try to free myself from the rebels who were grabbing my arm.

But before I could do anything else, they hit me too and all I remember is falling into the darkness around me.

Chapter Text

Chapter 09

 Baz

I wake up with a terrible headache, and I barely can open my eyes. When I open them, I see that I'm in a dark room that I don’t recognise, I don't even know if I’m still inside the castle. I think I’m, but I’ve never seen this room before, and I thought I knew everything about this place. 

I stand up a bit dizzy and try to remember what happened. 

The Mage and his men came for us, they were waiting for us. And if what they said was right, they had attacked the castle last night, while the ball was happening. I was really worried about the girls, the people there, and my father of course.

This was terrible, I never thought that something like this could happen. But they haven't killed me yet, so I guess this is good, at least good enough for now. I spin around trying to look for a way out, I need to get out of here, I need to find Simon. 

Thinking about Simon makes me even more worried, I didn’t want to think that something bad could have happened to him. He thinks Davy wouldn’t hurt him, but he didn’t know this other side of his former mentor, so anything can happen. 

No, I can’t think like this. He has to be okay. 

A door in a dark corner of the room makes a terrible noise while it is open. I try to prepare myself, to try to fight them if I have to, but they only throw someone inside the room, and then the door is closed again. It takes me a second to recognise who they put inside the room, but when I do, I run to him.

“Simon,” I call his name and kneel beside him.

“Baz.” His voice is low, but I’m so relieved to see him that I don’t pay attention to anything else. 

“Are you okay? Where were you?” I ask, pulling him to the other corner of the room, where it had a bit more light. He was gasping and I didn’t understand why.

Until I saw his face. He was bleeding, and his face was full of cuts and bruises, one of his eyes was a bit puffy and he looked in pain. A lot of pain. 

At the same time, I remember him falling against me, a bullet through his head. 

“Simon -” I start to talk, but I’m terrified. What had they done with him? “Love, what happened?” 

“They wanted to ask some questions about you, your father, and the secrets of the castle.” He leans against the wall behind him and gasps again putting his hand against his side. “I think they broke my ribs.”

“Let me see.” 

He lifts his shirt until I can see it and when I do, I almost gasp in horror. The side of his body was bruised so bad that I was sure they had broken something. I almost touch it, but Simon trembles and I pull my hand back, not wanting to hurt him even more.

“I didn’t tell them anything.” He says, making me look at his eyes again.

“You could have told them everything for all that I care, you should have told them if it would prevent them from hurting you like this.” I brush his cheek and he leans against my hand. 

“I don’t think it would help. Davy just wanted an excuse. He wanted to punish me for betraying him.” 

Listening to his words makes me feel guilty and I almost cry. I know it’s stupid, but I bet he punished Simon even more for being with me. He’s hurt partially because of me.

“Stop that.” He says. “I know this look, and this is not your fault.” 

“I just -” I shake my head. “I can’t stop thinking about the dream I had. You said that you thought Davy wouldn’t hurt you, not like that, but he did hurt you, and I’m really scared now. They are all here, and we don’t know how many people they killed, we don’t know what is happening, or if we both will be alive at the end of the day.” 

“Don’t think like that. We will be fine. We will think of something and escape here.” He says, but I can see he doesn't believe it.

“Davy seems angry with my father for some reason, and I think that before he kills my father he -”

“Don’t say it.” He cuts me.

“He will kill me in front of my father, you and I know this.” My voice breaks a little at the end of the sentence. “I know this will happen since they took us earlier.”

“I won’t -” Tears start to fall on his face. “I won’t let that happen okay? I won’t, I promise.” I feel tears on my cheeks.

“Love,” I say, sitting by his side. “I don’t think neither of us can do anything.”

He leans his head laying on my shoulder. We stay quiet for a few seconds, and his silence tells me that he knows that what I was saying was true. 

“I can’t believe that only a couple of hours ago we were living a dream and we were so happy.” He says quietly, his voice breaking at the end. 

“I can’t believe either.” I take his hand on mine and squeeze it. “I’m happy that at least, we had this time. It was good to know how everything could be.”

“I love you.” He says. 

“I love you, too.” 

I touch my lips on his lips, slowly, carefully so I won’t hurt him even more. 

“You know, I’d have loved to be with you for the rest of my days,” I tell him. “I’d have loved to marry you and be a king with you by my side. I think we would be really happy.” 

“I’d love that too, it would be perfect,” Simon says, his eyes with tears. “But we are not dead yet and we can’t lose hope.”

I look into his eyes and I see he means it. He still has hope, a bit of it. He’s scared like me, but he’s hopeful that we will have a chance of living the life I just described. I wish I could think like him, but I’m more realistic. For some reason, Davy hates my father, and I know that killing me in front of him would break him. 

He changed a lot after my mother’s death, and even though my father and I don’t have the best relationship, I know he loves me and wants the best for me. Killing me would break him for sure. And I’m also sure that after that, Davy will kill my father too. And I don’t see how I could escape that.  

Simon

Baz thinks he is going to die. I’m trying to be hopeful, optimistic, but I can’t say that this possibility didn’t cross my mind. Now that I know this new side of Davy, I know very well what he’s capable of, and I know how much he hates the royalty, especially the king. So, yes I know that Baz is probably right. Davy wants to kill him. 

And knowing this, that Baz may die in the next hours, hurts more than all the bruises, cuts and broken bones in my body, hurts like I never thought it would. And worse of all, I know that if Davy really kills Baz, he will leave me alive as punishment. He’ll let me live knowing that Baz is dead and I couldn’t do anything to save him. 

It’s hard not to cry. Especially thinking that this will be all that we will ever have, only a few hours together. That every plan, and every dream we shared, will be only that, dreams. That we won’t get our happily ever after.

I don’t want to think like this, I want to imagine that somehow everything will end well for us. And I’m attached to this hope that in the end, we will be fine. I have to believe in that.

“I know it is hard to be optimistic now, but we have to try it. We can’t just accept this without doing nothing, I won’t just sit and watch him kill you.” I say. “I will fight him if I have to. I won’t let you go.”

“You can’t put yourself at risk.” He says, shaking his head.

“Of course, I can. First of all, I’m still your bloody guard, it is literally my job to make sure you will live.” I see he wants to argue, but I keep talking. “And second of all, I love you.” He closes his mouth. “And I can’t let him do this. I can’t let him take you from me and not do something to prevent that.” He looks away, and then when he looks back at me, I see he’s smiling a bit. “What?”

“You’re really stubborn when you want to protect me, you know that?” I smile too.

“Well, I really want you to be safe.”

He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me - with a lot of care - to him. I don't even care about the wounds, I ignore what is hurting and lay against him, my nose against his neck.  

“I’m worried about Penny,” Baz says. “If her parents were against Davy, he can use her to get revenge.”

“I haven't thought about that.” I can’t help but feel guilty again. I was thinking only about my problems, our problems and didn’t remember her. “With luck, he didn’t recognise her. I don’t think they would kill the girls, their target is you, your father and the lords.”

“I hope you’re right. I don’t want to marry any of them, but they’re nice girls, they don’t deserve to die.” I nod.

We go back to the silence. Our breathing is the only thing we can hear now. Baz gives a kiss on my forehead and stays there. His mouth against my skin. His arms holding me. We are once again in our bubble, but then the door opens, making us go back to reality. 

“Come on.” A harsh voice says. “We will take you to see your father now.” I don’t recognise who is speaking.

If they want to take him to see the king, it means that Davy will want to act now. Baz looks at me and I see that he’s scared. He’s probably thinking the same thing.

“I’m going too,” I say before Baz could stand. 

“My order is to take only the prince.” The guy says in a boring tone. 

“I don’t care. Unless you’re gonna shoot me, I’m going.” I stand, with Baz’s help. 

The guy only shrugs and turns away. I try to walk, but everything hurts, so Baz puts my arm around his shoulders and holds me by the waist. 

“Maybe you should stay here.” He says in a low voice.

“I’m not leaving you alone.” He nods but doesn't seem convinced. 

We walk in the same corridors they brought me before. It was dark now, and I knew we were in one of the abandoned wings of the castle, but I haven’t any idea where exactly we were or what time it was. 

My whole body hurts, I feel like a truck passed through me. But I’m doing my best to not let Baz know, otherwise he would insist once more, on leaving me behind and go alone. Which I certainly won’t let him do, I’ll stay right beside him.

We don’t see anyone or hear anything in the corridors. It was like we were the only ones here, but I’m sure we are not. I have this feeling that someone is watching us. And I know that probably some rebels are hiding, keeping an eye on us. 

After some minutes, the rebels who are leading us, stop in front of a door and the same man who talked to us before turns and says. 

“Your father is inside this room, I’ll let you both in, but don’t be stupid and try to do something. The Mage will be here in a few minutes to talk to you.” He doesn't even look at me, all his words are direct to Baz.

I have a terrible feeling that it will happen exactly what Baz said. Davy will come here to torture the king, by killing Baz in front of him. I can’t let that happen.

They open the doors and almost throw us inside, and if it weren't for Baz’s balance, I’d have fallen for sure. I trip on my own feet, and Baz tightens his arm around me, which makes me gasp because accidentally he squeezed my ribs. 

“I’m so sorry.” He says a bit scared and probably feeling guilty.

“That’s okay, it’s not your fault,” I say.

“Basilton?” I recognise the king’s voice. 

“Father?” Baz turns us until we are facing the king.

The man who I usually saw giving orders and wearing an angry expression has nothing to do with the man in front of us. He was sitting in a chair, with chains around his ankles and arms. He had some cuts on his face but overall didn’t seem to be badly hurt. Was his expression that was different though, like he was defeated and had lost hope.

“Oh, thank god you’re alive.” He says, clearly relieved. Only then he looks at me. “Christ, what happened to you boy?”

“They wanted to make him tell them things about the castle and us.” Baz helps me to sit on the floor.

“And also wanted to punish me.” I look at Baz and I see that he’s worried about me telling his father about my past. But I’m not afraid. 

“Punish for what?”

“For betraying them,” I say. “Davy, the leader, practically raised me. I thought he was just one of the leaders of The Mummers, it’s his cover to other people, so he sent me here to be his spy, but I found out the truth and told Baz." The king has a weird look, and then I realise that I did it again, I call Baz by his name and not his title.

I’m thinking of something to say, to cover the truth. I know that Baz didn’t want to tell his father like this.

“He was also being punished for another reason.” I look at Baz and I see what he wants to do. He stands and turns to the king. “I know you want me to finish the Selection and marry a girl, but -”

“You’re in love with him.” The king completes, making both of us shocked. “And he is in love with you.” He looks at me.

“How did you -” Baz tries to ask and then clears his throat. “How did you know?”

“Because I know you. And I know how it is to be in love.” He sounds sad. 

“You are not mad?” Baz asks.

“No, my son.” The king shakes his head. “I always knew who you were and I always loved you. I know you always thought I didn’t agree with who you are or didn’t like it, but I was just trying to think about the kingdom. I hated to force you to do something you didn’t want to, but I felt pressured, and I was so scared about the rebels, about what they could do.” He looks at me again and then looks at Baz. “But that doesn't matter now. I don’t know how this will end, but if things work out for us, for you, then I think it’s time for you to follow your heart.”

“I - Father, I -” Whatever was that Baz wanted to say, is cut by the door being open. 

Baz

I was still processing my father’s words when we heard the door open behind us, but I couldn't look away from him. After so much time, I finally heard what I always wanted to hear. My father really loves me, and if I by any chance come out of this alive, he’ll let me do what I want to.

“I hope you’re all comfortable together.” I hear Davy coming in. “I thought it would be nice to give you a chance to talk before we end this.” He smiles at us. 

“You have me here already Davy, let my son out of this.” My father says.

“Why the hell would I do that? The best part is yet to come. Or you already told your son the whole truth about you?” I don’t know what he’s talking about, but when I look at my father, I see that he is hiding something, probably the same thing that made him so afraid in the last weeks. 

They are staring at each other, so I go to Simon’s side before someone could hold me. I wanted to be by his side now. Especially if it were my last moments. 

“For your expression, I think that’s a no. So, shall we tell him? Shall we let him know who his father is?” He looks at me now and sees Simon for the first time since he walked in the room. “Oh, you’re here.” He looks to be thinking about something but then shrugs. “I guess it would be good for you to hear it as well.”

Simon doesn't answer anything and Davy just looks away, I think he has more important things to deal with now.

“I’m sure that you already asked yourself how your father and I know each other.” I don’t say anything, so he keeps going. “Would you believe me if I told you that we were friends? Like best friends, almost brothers.” The look he gives at my father is pure hate. “We grew up together, we were neighbours since we were born, and after we finished our studies we started to reunite with other people to complain about the government and we formed a group.” He looks at me again. “Sounds familiar?”

“The Mummers,” Simon says beside me. 

“Exactly,” Davy says. “That was the beginning of The Mummers, but I'm sure you probably already figured that out." He keeps looking between me and my father. "But I have more to tell, don’t worry.” His smile is cruel. “The group started to grow and our goals started to grow, but while half of the group was happy in doing things peacefully, the other half thought we should be more radical, start to do more than just protest. I guess we can say that it was the beginning of what you call the rebellion, and your father made part of it.”

“Davy -” My father tries to say something, but Davy cuts him.

“No, no Malcolm, I’m starting the best part now.” He turns to me. “We start to meet in secret from the others and to make a plan to take the nobles down. And your dear father came with the best idea.”

“Davy.” My father says again.

“He told us about this plan he had, to seduce the princess, get inside the castle and destroy them inside out.” I can’t believe that. “Unfortunately, it's true my dear prince. The sweet love story that all the kingdom believed is a lie. Your mother fell in love with a liar and a rebel.”

I look at my father, still not believing in what Davy said, but the look on my father’s face is all the confirmation I need.

“Father?” I ask, still wanting him to deny it all.

“It’s true what he said, but things changed, I fell in love with your mother, for real, that wasn't a lie. And that’s why I left all behind, why I never proceeded with the plan or went back to the rebels.” 

“That might be true, but I think you left out the part where you were guilty of her death,” Davy says and I feel Simon squeezing my hand. 

“That’s a lie, you coward, you were the one who killed her.” My father yells. “You came here pretending to want peace, you came hidden in a white flag. You asked to be alone with both of us, and when we denied it, you threatened to kill our son.” My father closes his eyes and shakes his head like he didn’t want to remember that. “You pointed a gun and pulled the trigger.”

“That bullet was meant to your head,” Davy replies. “You were a coward and allowed your wife to step in front of you and received that bullet in your place.” He steps closer to my father. “On that day, I didn’t care about the rebellion or your wife, I just wanted revenge. I wanted you dead.”

“Then kill me and get over with that.” Davy smiles again.

“Oh no. You really don’t believe that it will be this easy, right?” He turns to me. “I didn’t bring your son here only to tell him a story. You know why he is here.” He steps closer to me, to us.

“No.” Simon almost yells by my side and tries to stand. “All those years you kept telling me about how awful the nobles were, and how corrupt they were and you are even worse.” He stands even without my help and I stand too. Ready to defend him if I have to. “You killed so many innocent people all over these years. And lied to everyone.”

“Simon, I don’t think -” Davy’s tone shows that he’s furious with Simon.

“I don’t care what you think. All over these years when I asked you about the rebels, you lied. You used to tell me that you just wanted peace.” He shakes his head. “I remember that after a rebel attack in our village, the people were mourning their dead and crying over the destruction you all made. And then you would just show up comforting them, with your mask of a good guy. Blaming other people and promising changes.”

“You don’t know half of the things, Simon, so don’t act as you know.” He steps closer, and I hold Simon’s arm. “And what about that gratitude you had before? What about those beautiful words to the man who saved you, the poor kid, from the orphanage? Have you forgotten that?”

“No, sir, I didn’t forget that. But it doesn’t mean that I have to close my eyes and pretend that nothing happened or that you didn't do anything wrong.” Davy looks furious now. “And you don’t have to pretend that you even care about me or about what I think. When you saw me in that street, you saw only an opportunity to raise a soldier who would follow exactly your thoughts and steps.”

Davy was about to say something, but we heard a loud noise coming from outside, making us all turn to the door.

“What’s happening?” Davy asks to one of his men. “Go see what it is and come tell me.” The man leaves and Davy turns to us again. "Don’t worry, I’m sure that nothing will disturb us.” He smiles again, but he doesn’t seem so confident anymore. “Where were we?” He thinks for a second and then says. “Oh, yes, my ungrateful son was making a speech.” Simon rolls his eyes.

“Oh, please, you never saw me like a son. You didn’t adopt me to take care of me or anything like that, you just took me out of the streets to be another pawn in your game.” Davy shrugs.

“Maybe. Or maybe not. You never thought that it was too easy to take you? You never wondered why the orphanage never came after you? Or never pressed charges over a missing boy?”

Simon is frowning, confused with what Davy is saying, and so am I. What he’s trying to tell? 

Simon

I’m not understanding what Davy wants to say. I know that he is just trying to confuse us, but I think he’s also wanting to say something important.

“So, Simon, these thoughts never occur to you?” He looks at me waiting for my answer.

“I don’t - I -” I don’t know what to say.

“Well, so let me tell you a secret. The orphanage never cared that you went missing because you weren't missing at all, I took you out legally.” I frown, still not knowing where he’s going with this. “I wasn't going to tell you this, but it seems that now is the moment for truths so, why not?” I feel Baz’s hand on mine, and it gives me a bit of comfort. “There are two ways to take out a kid from an orphanage, legally I mean. You can adopt the kid and they open a huge process which can take months, years even. Or the biological parents show up to take back the kid.” 

“No,” Baz says on my side, probably he understood what Davy said, but I’m still finding trouble in understanding his words.

“What? I don’t -” I’m trying to put the pieces together but it's hard. I look at Baz and he seems surprised.

“He is your father, Simon,” Baz says in a sad tone.

I look at Davy, wanting him to deny it, but he doesn't. He just stares at me with his cruel smile and I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing that I was pretty shaken with that, but I didn’t know how to build a facade, how to pretend that I didn’t care about it.

I remember once when I was a child and was still living in the orphanage, and I started to ask questions about my past and my parents to the people who worked there. The woman in charge answered me, after I asked a hundred times, that my father was the one who left me there, and they didn’t know anything else. Only that, and my name. 

And remember that, somehow makes the fact that Davy is my father, even worse. He dropped me there, and years later came back for me? And not because he regretted it, not because he wanted to raise me as his son or something like that. He just wanted a soldier in his army. And it is very likely that he wouldn't tell me this if we weren't here.

“You-You're.” I can’t even say it. The idea of him being my father just makes me want to cry. “Is it true?” I look at him again.

“Yes.” That is his only answer. 

He seems to be ready to give another speech, but a man comes running inside and closes the door. 

“The soldiers of the king are here, they found us.” He yells, scared.

“Thank god.” I hear the king muttering. 

“How many soldiers?” Davy asks calmly, but I can see he’s nervous. 

“Too many.” The man answers. 

“We are doing this now then.” He turns to us again. “I wanted this moment to last longer, but we can’t have everything.” He nods to his men. “Hold him.” Two of them come in our direction and take me by my arms, taking me away from Baz. 

“No,” I yell. 

I couldn't let them take me away from him. Davy will kill him. I can’t let him do it. 

But their grip in my arm is strong and now I’m away enough and I won't be able to save him. Davy pulls his gun and points at Baz.

The king and I start to yell and beg Davy not to do it. I feel tears on my cheeks and I don’t care about anything else. I don’t care about what I just found out, I don’t care if the soldiers will appear. I just want to take Baz from here and let him be safe. 

“I want you to remember everything you did Malcolm and know that this is your fault.”  

Baz

I already knew that this was how it would end for me. But I’m a little scared.

I can hear my father and Simon screaming, but I’m not looking at them. I’m looking at Davy pointing a gun at me. The leader of the rebels, and Simon’s father. The man who wanted us all dead. He has this creepy smile like he knows that he won, that he is doing the right move by killing me. 

I wish we were in another place, I didn’t want to die, of course, but at least I wanted him to do it away from my father and Simon. I didn’t want that the last memory they will have of me is this. Me being shot in front of them. But I guess I can’t choose. 

Davy tells my father that this is his fault, but I don’t blame him. He made bad choices in his life, but he fell in love with my mother and after that, he tried to do things right. And even with all our differences, I know that he just wanted me to be happy and a better person, a better king. 

I look at Simon one last time because I want him to be the last thing I’ll see. There are tears over his face, and he’s trying to get free from the men who are holding him. With the strength that they are gripping his arms, I can’t help but think that he must be in pain with all his injuries. I look at his face for some seconds trying to absorb it all. 

After that, I closed my eyes. Ready to face the end. 

I still can hear the screams, but I just focus on Simon's face on my head. His beautiful blue eyes, his soft bronze curls that I love to touch. His warm skin, full of freckles and moles. His lips, who are responsible for the best kisses in the world. 

Thinking about him calms me down a bit, and I feel relaxed. At least I knew how it was to be with him, even if it was for a short time.

I’m ready for the pain, the impact of the bullet, but before I could feel that, I felt myself being pushed away and heard the noise of the gun being shot. 

At the same moment, I open my eyes and see Davy extremely angry. Then, I look at my side and see Simon on the floor. 

No, it can’t be. He can’t be - He can’t.

The most terrible things cross my mind, but I rush to him and see that thankfully he’s alive. When I touch his face, he opens his eyes and I see that he’s relieved that I was alive too. But I feel something wet on his arm and it’s only then that I see that he got shot on the shoulder. He got shot for me, protecting me.

“Are you okay?” I ask him.

“Yeah.” He’s a bit out of breath. “You?” I only nod at him.

The noises of fighting are getting louder like it's getting closer to us. Davy is getting a bit scared now, he sends more of his men outside, leaving only him and another guy in the room with us. 

“Pathetic,” Davy says. “You didn’t prevent anything.” He’s looking at Simon. “You got hurt for nothing.”

He points the gun at me for the second time and I do the stupidest thing ever. I throw myself on him.

I try to put away his gun by pushing his arm to the ceiling, the floor, anywhere away from myself. Davy pulls the trigger a couple of times, but I don’t see where these bullets go.

Baz.” I hear Simon yell.

And then I feel something sharp against my skin and pain like I never felt before. I look down and see Davy holding a knife in his hand full of blood. My blood. I put my hand on my belly and feel suddenly dizzy. 

And then I fall on the floor.  

Simon

My shoulder is hurting like hell, but I don’t care because that bullet was meant to kill Baz. It wasn’t a hard choice to push him out of the way, to put myself in front of the gun. Actually, it was as easy as breathing. 

But I didn’t predict that Baz would throw himself on Davy. I try to stand and help, but the pain is all over my body and the only thing I can think is that it would be really lucky if the soldiers got in now. But they don’t come.

Baz and Davy are fighting. Baz is trying to pull away the gun and Davy shoots some times, luckily missing Baz. I keep trying to move, to stand and do something, but I feel dizzy and a bit light-headed, I guess losing blood didn't help with the other wounds. 

After some seconds, I’m able to kneel and I’m almost standing when I see something shiny in Davy’s hand. It takes me a second to recognise what it is and to scream Baz’s name, but it’s too late. Davy stabs him and then pulls away and I see blood on the knife. 

Baz is falling and I can’t reach him. I can’t run to catch him. So, he hits the floor with closed eyes and doesn't stand anymore. 

I freeze for a second, just looking in shock at Baz laying on the floor. I feel the tears in my eyes and anger inside me.

“You see,” Davy starts but I don’t let him finish.

I reunite all the strength I have left and do the same thing Baz did. I throw myself on Davy, but I hit his hand and with the surprise, he let the knife fall on the floor. I push him against a wall and I hear noises around us and the only man who is still inside the room tries to escape the room. 

I hold Davy’s hand - the one he is holding the gun - and push away just like Baz was doing, but Davy is stronger than it seems. His finger is on the trigger and he pulls it, the bullet misses me by little, and somehow I’m able to twist his wrist turning the gun to his own body.

He doesn’t seem to realise and pulls the trigger again. And then he looks in shock at me. 

“Simon.” He mutters.

I can’t help feeling bad. I didn’t want to kill him, I just wanted to make him stop. He was my father, and he raised me. For a long time, he was the only one I had. But I needed to make him stop. I wanted him to stop hurting me. 

He slides on the floor, still looking at me. And I step away, right when the door is open, making me get back to my mind and to what matters. 

I turn myself and see Baz, still on the floor, his eyes closed, and I run to him. 

The soldiers are getting inside the room, but I don’t care because I have to help Baz, I have to save him. He can’t be dead. I won’t accept that. I won’t.

“Please,” I say, putting his head on my lap. “Please wake up, love. Wake up.” I look around, but my eyes are blurry with tears, somehow I see the Soldiers are a bit confused with everything that happened. “Call someone, he needs help,” I yell, and two men run away from the room, luckily to call a doctor. 

“Oh, my -” One of the soldiers says in a shocked tone, looking beyond me, and the others start to mutter.

When I look behind to see what they were looking at and I gasp too. The king was still sitting on the chair, locked with the chains on his arms and ankles. His eyes were open and looking at us, but they weren't moving. Blood was soaking his clothes and two marks where the bullets hit him on the chest were visible to us. 

“The king is dead,” I say.

Not one soldier moves to check. I look back at them and recognise some faces. I want to scream again and ask for a doctor, ask for help to save Baz, but I feel myself slipping away. My head is getting heavier, and the pain is higher. I’ve no strength left on me, I feel myself falling forward and my eyes closing.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10 

 Simon

My eyes burn when I try to open them. After a few seconds I try again, and the strong light around me starts to fade and I start to recognise where I am. I don’t know exactly where, but I know I am in one of the rooms of the castle.

I’m lying on a comfortable bed, and my dirty and torn clothes were replaced by clean and new ones. I try to sit but I feel pain in my ribs and my shoulder, luckily I was not bleeding anymore and my wounds seem to have been taken care of, but the pain it’s the same. 

The last moments that I remember come once in my head, and at the same moment, I want to stand and leave this room. I want to find Baz, I had to find him. If I was okay, he should be okay too. But before I could stand, the door opens and Penelope walks in, she looks at me, smiles, and comes running to hug me. 

“Thank god.” She hugs me carefully. “I was really worried.” She does seem worried. “Are you okay?”

“Okay enough I think.” My voice sounds raspy. 

“What happened, Simon?”

“What happened to you, are you okay?” I was really relieved to see her here, alive and apparently unharmed.

“Yes, the girls and I are okay. But what happened? The soldiers didn’t know how to explain what they saw.”

“I will talk to you later Penny, I need to find Baz. Do you know where he is? He’s okay right?” I try to stand, but Penny makes me sit again.

“Baz is fine.” I breathe relieved. “He’s in his room, but is sleeping now, I just left there, so we can talk now.”

I still want to leave and go see Baz, but I take a deep breath and start talking.

“At the ball, Baz and his father had a discussion and he left and went to the gardens, no one saw, so I went behind him, to see if he was okay. We talked, he apologised for being distant and we danced, and then we kissed.” Penny smiles. “He told me he was in love with me, and I told him I was in love with him too.”

“Finally,” Penny says, still smiling. 

“You knew?” I ask, curious.

“Of course, but keep talking.” I shake my head.

“Okay, so we didn’t want to say goodbye, and Baz suggested that we should go to one of the cottages inside the castle grounds to stay together, away from everyone.” The look Penny gives me, makes me blush. “Anyway, he left a note telling his father that he had to think and we went to the cottage and stayed there at night and the other day. It was almost night when we left there, when we were close to the castle, Davy and his people surrounded us and took us. They threw Baz in a room and took me to another and Davy asked me about the castle and things that I could know, and when I didn't tell him, he started to punish me.” I point at my face.

“That son of a bitch.” Penny mutters.

“After he got tired of that, they put me in the same room as Baz and after some minutes they came to take him to see his father. Baz thought that Davy would kill him in front of the king, so I wasn't letting him go alone and we went together. We talked to his father and Davy appeared, he told us how he and the king knew each other.” A lean a bit in her direction, not wanting to say too loud. “The king was a rebel too, years ago.”

“No.” Penny gasps, shocked.

“Yes, and he started to get closer to queen Natasha because of a plan that he had, but he fell in love for real and left the rebels behind. Which didn’t leave Davy happy you know, he got angrier with the royalty, more than he already was.” I shake my head, still mad with everything. “They told us that Davy killed the queen, but the bullet was meant for the king.”

“I always knew that Davy was involved with that.”

“After that, he wanted to kill Baz, and I stood for him, so Davy told us another thing.” I look away. I still hadn't thought about it. 

“What?” She takes my hand and squeezes it. 

“Davy was my father Penny.” Penny looks even more shocked. “He left me in the orphanage and went back for me, but only because he wanted someone to follow his steps.” I shake my head. “Anyway, we started listening to noises and a rebel told us that the soldiers were coming closer. Davy got scared and wanted to finish things, so his men held me and he pointed a gun at Baz’s head. I was able to get out of their hands and pushed Baz away, and got shot.” I point at my shoulder.

“Simon -” She starts to talk but I cut her.

“This was nothing.” I shrug or try to. “After that Baz went straight to Davy and they fought. Baz was trying to take off his gun, but didn’t see the knife in his hand.” My voice breaks at the end, remembering how terrible it was to see that. “Baz fell on the floor and I reacted. I jumped on Davy and we fought too, I could hear the soldiers getting closer, but I just wanted to stop him. I was trying to turn his gun away, but he was strong so I turned his gun to himself for a second, he didn’t see it and pulled the trigger. The king was killed with some bullet that Davy was shooting.” Penny squeezes my hand again and we stay in silence for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all that.” She says breaking the silence.

“But what happened to you?” I changed the subject not wanting to talk more about what had happened.

“They broke into the ball and took us to a room. They didn’t pay much attention to us, so we were just basically locked in there, fearing for our lives, but nothing happened. The soldiers helped us almost a day later, I was leaving the room when I saw them passing with you and Baz, you both unconscious. So, I ran after you and they got a bit confused if they should tell me something or let me help. Everyone thinks I’m Baz’s favourite, but they saw you both together, so -”

“They were confused.” I complete and she nods. “How long have I been out?”

“Almost twenty-four hours.” 

“What?” I ask, shocked, it seemed that only a few hours had passed. “Did you stay with us all the time?”

“Yes, I have been running through your and Baz’s room.” She looks tired now that I’m looking at her. 

“You should rest.” She shrugs. “Did Baz wake up at some moment after we came back here?”

“Only for a few minutes. He asked about you, and when I told him you were okay, he went back to sleep.” That makes me calmer.

“He doesn't know about his father?”

“I didn’t tell him, but he might imagine, everyone was treating him differently.” I nod. 

“He is the king now,” I say, and some thoughts come to my mind. Could that fact change something? Penny must see something in my eyes because she says.

“He loves you, Simon. Nothing will change that.” 

“I need to see him.” She nods.

“Yeah, I know I can’t hold you here for too long.” She stands. “Come on.”

Penny helps me stand, my whole body hurts, but I ignore the pain and just walk. Nothing would stop me from seeing Baz now. 

Thankfully I was only one door away from Baz, so the walk is short. The guard in front of his door recognises me and opens the door and I feel a bit guilty because I don't even remember his name. 

Penny just gives me a smile and leaves. I take a deep breath and walk into Baz’s room. He is alone, lying on his bed and looking at his window and I’m very relieved to see him awake. Alive.

I close the door behind me, and the noise makes him look at me. And the smile he gives me fills my heart with the best feeling.  

Baz

I have been waking up and sleeping for hours. I still didn’t manage to stay awake for too long, and also all the voices and noises inside my room just make me want to close my eyes and shut the rest of the world out. 

The only concern I had was about Simon, but Penny told me he was okay, alive and resting in a room close to mine. After knowing that it was easier to sleep.

When I open my eyes again, I see that I am alone which is great, because I had so many things to think about, so many things happened. But my head was hurting and I didn’t want to deal with anything else today. I just wanted to stay here in my bed, preferably with Simon by my side. 

I’m looking at the sky outside my window when I hear the door closing. I’m preparing myself to tell the person to go away, but when I look to see who it is, I see Simon. And he’s standing, and looking okay. Well, okay enough after what happened. 

I allowed myself to smile at him because some hours ago I was so afraid that I would never see him again, that it was the end. And now he was here, and I was here, and somehow we were both alive and fine. The smile he gives in return tells me that he is thinking the same.

“Hey,” I say, still smiling.

“Hi, I was so worried.” He says and comes limping to my side. 

“Me too, are you okay?” I ask when he sits in front of me. 

“I’m fine, what about you?” I can see the concern in his eyes. 

“I’m fine too. I’m just tired.” He takes my hand.

“I really thought that I wouldn’t see you again.” He shakes his head.

“I thought that too. But I’m glad we were wrong. I’m really happy to see you again” He gives me a sad smile and looks down. “What?” I ask when I see something change in his face.

“I don’t know if someone already told you, and I didn’t want to be the person who tells you, but -” He looks at me.

“My father is dead, isn’t he?” He nods. “For the way that everyone is speaking and avoiding talking about him, I figured it out.” It's true, it was one of the first things I noticed. And I still didn’t know how to feel about that.

“I’m so sorry.” He says, with tears in his eyes. 

“That’s okay. I mean not okay, but -” I shake my head. “I already knew it would end in something like this.” I look at Simon and he’s not looking at me. “What?” I ask again, squeezing his hand.

“It’s all my fault.” He says in a low voice.

“What? Are you insane? This is Davy’s fault.” He shakes his head and I try to sit. “Simon -”

“He was angrier now because I betrayed him. If I hadn’t agreed to come here maybe -”

“Simon, if you hadn't come here, he would have found another person to do the job and maybe he would cause more damage.” He was still shaking his head, and now he had tears all over his face. I’m about to say something else when he speaks.

“He was my father.” Oh. “I just can’t believe he was this terrible person.” I pull his hand making him look at me.

“Come here.” He sits beside me and I put my arm around his shoulders. “Love, we don’t get to choose our parents. You didn’t know that he was your father, and even if you did, you are not him and you can’t blame yourself for his mistakes. My father did a lot of wrong things, things I’m not proud of, but I’m not him and I know I’ll try to do better, just like you will too. You are not defined by any of that.” I kiss his hair. “And if you hadn't come here, I would never have met you.” He looks up.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” He says with a weak smile and then looks down again. “That means that you still love me?” He sounds embarrassed. 

“Are you insane? Of course, I love you. You risked your life, you took a bullet for me. You saved my life, not just yesterday, but when you came to this castle. You saved me. How could I not love you?” I wiped away a few tears on his cheeks.

“I love you.” He says, with his eyes still shining with tears and then he yawns, making me laugh. 

“Come on, let's sleep a bit, I’m really tired.” I lay down again bringing him with me.

“What if someone shows up?” He asks, glancing at the door.

“I don’t care, but no one will come here. I told them not to disturb me or to enter my room, unless it was you, of course. Now that I’m king, they have to obey me.” He smiles.

“I like that.” He lies down with his head on my shoulder.

With Simon here, it's much easier to sleep and to see that even though terrible things happened, everything will be fine. 

 *****

A couple of days pass while Simon and I recover from our injuries. Not once the counsellors came bothering me, they were all worried, but they respected my time to mourn and recover. But three days later I’m already exhausted from staying in my room, so I called a meeting with them.

We have to organise a funeral for my father and my coronation. And I had to talk to them to end the Selection. Simon was by my side almost the entire time, but he was still worried that someone could appear and that could harm us somehow. So, I wanted to make everything official.

The counsellors were all waiting for me, all but one - Lord Edwards - that died at the night of the ball when the rebels broke in. When I enter the room they stand and come to pay their respects for my father and to compliment me for my new position. 

“Thank you all for coming here today. I’m sorry that it took a bit of time, but I needed to process everything that happened in the last few days.”

“Please, your Majesty, don’t apologise.” It was still weird to hear the new title. “We understand the situation and we apologise for everything.” Lord Taylor says.

“Thank you, but there’s no need to apologise.” I sit on the chair that belonged to my father and try not to think too much about it. “I called this meeting because we have to discuss four different topics. The first one is my father’s funeral.” They nod. “I know that my father wasn’t the most beloved king, but I want to give a chance to everyone to pay their respect and give their goodbyes before officially taking the position.”

“We already started to organise everything, your Majesty, we didn’t want you to worry about that. The funeral will happen two days from now. Later we can show you what we already provided, so you can approve.” I nod.

“Okay, thank you. The next thing to organise is the coronation. Officially after the death of a king, we have to wait seven days until a new coronation, so we can set the date for a week after the funeral. But I don’t want a party or anything like that, just the ceremony. And we don’t need to empty our vaults to do that, so let’s not waste money on this, just a simple ceremony will do.” 

I thought they would protest, but they just nodded again and Lord Smith wrote down what I said. My father had the terrible habit of using too much of the crown money to do the parties and everything else. I intend to use this money to do better things.

“I will start to organise it and will bring everything to you first, your Majesty.”

Then they start to make suggestions and we pass through the ceremony, to know what we would need to do. I already studied these ceremonies, but I’ve never seen one, so it was all new to me. They also tell me the names of the people who should be invited, including the royal families from close kingdoms. 

“Great, we will keep seeing these details in the next few days,” I say, ending the subject. “The third thing I wanted to talk about is the rebels.”

With that we initiated a long conversation talking about the origins of the rebels, giving names to the ones who were killed, and to those who escaped. We also talk about what to expect now that their leader is dead. 

I don’t tell them that my father used to be part of their group, I suspect that Lord Edwards was the only one who knew, but he was dead too. So, I wouldn’t tell them and make them remember my father as a traitor or something like that. He may not have been the best king of all, but he was trying to be better. He regretted it and in the end, I believe he was a good man.

I also don’t tell them that Davy or the Mage was Simon’s father. I didn’t want them to think that Simon was a rebel or that he was using me to get the crown, I know they would say that and I don’t have the patience to listen to all that shit. They also don’t know Simon, not as I do, and they don’t know he was the greatest person I’ve ever met. They would just judge him and I couldn't possibly stand that. 

“We will have to wait to see then,” I say after an hour of conversation. “But please, let me be informed of everything you hear.” They nod. “At last, I wanted to talk to you about the Selection.” They look at each other. “I am officially ending the competition.” They look at me. “I know you all thought it was a great plan, but I never agreed with it, and at the end, before he died, my father told me to do what I wanted. To follow my heart. And I already know who I want to marry and it’s none of the participants of the competition.”

“Your Majesty, if you allow us to ask something,” I nod. “It’s true then, the rumours?” I didn’t know what rumour they heard, but it probably has something to do with the boy who was practically locked inside my room for the last few days. 

“I don’t know what is the rumour that you heard, but if it is about Simon Snow, then yes. The rumours are right.” They seem a bit uncomfortable, but that is not a shock, they are mostly all old and rigid. 

“So, you will marry him?”

“If he says yes, then, of course, I will.” My words are followed by some seconds of silence. Until Lord Taylor clears his throat.

“Very well, then. We will officially make a pronouncement cancelling the competition. And when you both get engaged we will make new celebrations and set a date for the wedding.” Surprisingly, no one says anything against that. They just nod agreeing with what was said. 

“Okay, I’ll let you know.” I look at the clock and see that it’s been almost two hours since I came here. “I think it’s all for today, thank you for coming.” I stand and they stand with me. 

They thank me for my attention and promise me that they will show me the details of my father’s funeral and my coronation. After that, I say goodbye and leave the room.  

Simon

The king’s funeral is sad. I mean, I know that it’s what is expected from a funeral but is sadder than I thought. Especially because there aren't a lot of people at the funeral, and the people on the streets don't seem to care too much about the fact that the king is dead. 

Either way, Baz doesn't seem to notice. He stays beside the closed coffin the whole funeral. He doesn't talk to anyone, he doesn't even look at anyone. And he doesn't cry. He just keeps there, standing and staring at something, probably too lost in guilt and grief to feel something else. To do something else.

I just want to go there and hold him. To tell him it's okay to feel whatever he’s feeling, that he can show me what he’s feeling. But I don’t do that. I know that the kingdom and the other kingdoms had to see him as a stronger person, and because most people believe that crying is a weakness, he’s better the way he is now, so I don’t interfere. 

Thankfully, hours later the funeral finally ends and Baz meets me in his room. I open my arms to him and he comes to me. I feel him relaxing when I hug him, it’s like he has been wanting and waiting for this the whole day. We lay down on his bed, Baz still in my arms when he finally starts to cry. 

I don’t know how long we stay that way. But Baz doesn't say anything, he doesn't need to. He just clenches his fist at my shirt, pulling me closer, with his head on my shoulder, his nose at my neck, and cries. I hold him tighter, and brush his hair, telling him lots of times different versions of ‘That’s okay’, ‘You’ll be okay’ and ‘I’m here’.

After I don’t know how many hours later, he sleeps. And only when I’m sure that he’s sleeping peacefully, I allow myself to close my eyes and sleep too.

The next day, I woke up when he’s not in the room anymore. He left me a note telling me that he had some things to do, but that he would meet me for dinner. 

I sigh when I read it. I’m missing Baz, I wish we could at least wake up together. But I knew that he had a lot of things to solve and now as a king, everything was on him. And I knew that if it was up to him, he would want to have more time with me too. So, I just had to be a bit patient. 

I go for a walk through the castle when I see Penny and she comes to talk to me.

“Hey, did you hear it?” She asks.

“Hear what?” She holds my arm.

“Our new king just talked with us and ended the Selection.” I stop walking and look at her.

“Really?”

“Yeah, he didn’t tell you?” I shake my head.

The last days have been hard, he has to do so many things and to be present in so many meetings, that we almost don’t see each other, we barely have time to talk. And with so many important things to deal with, I didn’t want to ask him about the competition, and to pressure him to do something.

“Well, he came to talk to us half an hour ago and told us that it was a decision he took and that the counsellors already had approved. Most girls seemed relieved actually, and after what happened I don’t think I can blame them.” I nod in agreement. 

“That means that you’re leaving?” I’m a bit sad about that. Penny has been a great friend. 

“Not entirely.” She smiles. “I’ll be going home at the end of the day, but Baz offered me a position here. To stay close to both of you and to represent the groups of people who want changes in the government.”

“That sounds great.” I smile at her.

“It is, I’m really happy, I didn’t want to go back to living in my village with my ex there, probably with his new girlfriend.” She looks at me. “What about you, how are you dealing with everything?”

“I don’t know. I’m trying not to think too much about anything, now with everything that is happening, the funeral, Baz’s coronation, I guess it’s just too much.”

“Yeah, I get it. You both have been through a lot, but you should talk to Baz, you were together when everything happened, and you will understand each other.”

“I guess so.” I shrug.

“I have to go and finish packing, but I’ll be back to Baz’s coronation, okay?” I nod. “But you can call me if something happens, or if you want to talk.”

“Thanks, Pen.” She hugs me. 

Then she turns away and goes to a flight of stairs behind me, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I wanted to talk with Baz, I mean, it’s not like we don’t talk, but with everything that is happening, we enjoy taking the time we have together doing other things. And I wanted to ask how the counsellors reacted when he cancelled the competition if he talked about us with them.

The hours move slowly through the day. In the middle of the afternoon, Penny comes to say goodbye to me again, and when she leaves I go to the corridor and see the girls leaving the castle in different cars. The Selection was over then. 

I hadn't expected that it would actually end without Baz marrying one of them, but I’m glad I was wrong. Who would guess that the prince wouldn’t choose any of the girls, but a guard instead? I definitely wouldn't guess that, and definitely wouldn't guess that I would be the guard he would choose. 

I’m in my room for hours as I do most days. When we came back alive from the encounter with the rebels and it was clear that something was happening with me and Baz, they put me in a room beside his. It was huge, much bigger than any room I had ever had, and it was extremely comfortable. And of course, it was close to Baz.

I spent a lot of time here, reading, watching movies, and waiting for Baz. The only thing I didn't do here was sleep. Every night Baz takes me to his room, so we can sleep together. And I can’t complain about that, I know that I sleep far better when he’s with me. 

The stars are already shining in the sky when Baz knocks on my door. I pause the movie I was watching to go open the door, and he is there, looking tired, but still extremely gorgeous. 

“Hey,” He kisses me on the cheek. “I missed you.”

“You did?” I smile.

“Yeah, I spent the day surrounded by the most boring people of the kingdom. Every time I looked at them I had to remember something better and exciting, only to stay awake, and of course that the only person I could think of was you.” That makes me smile even more. 

“I missed you too,” I say. “Penny came to say goodbye before leaving and told me you offered her a position on the court.” He nods. “Why didn't you tell me about that? Or the end of the competition? And did you talk with the counsellors about us?” 

“Okay, one question at a time.” He smiles. “I didn’t tell you before, because I wanted to be sure that the Selection would really end before telling you something, I was a bit afraid that they would do something to not cancel. And yes, I told them about us, they didn’t make a party because of that, but they also weren’t against it, so I guess we are good. And I didn’t tell you about Penny because I wanted her to be here to be a surprise to you.” He sits on my bed. “I know that I’m leaving you alone all these days -”

“Baz,” I say, going to him. “You are the king, of course you have a lot to do. You don’t need to explain that to me. I’m not gonna lie and say that I don’t miss you, or that I’m a bit lonely during the day, but I understand. I’m not complaining.” He pulls me by my hips, leaving me higher than him. 

“I know that. But I thought that having Penny here would help. She could stay with you when I can’t, and she wants to work here, to help, which is a plus.”

“I want that too,” I say, brushing his hair out of his forehead. “I want to work, to do something. I know that you can’t be with me the whole day, and I can’t be here laying down on the bed. I want to do something.”

“I was already expecting you to say something like that.” He smiles. “I’m seeing where I can put you, okay? I mean it’s not like you will be working as a guard anymore, so I’ll find a place for you.” It’s my time to smile.

“Thank you.” I bend a bit so I can kiss him.

“No problem. Now come on, let’s have our dinner.” He stands and pulls me by my hand. 

We walk to his room, and I look at him, trying to raise my eyebrow like he always does.

“We are having dinner in your room?” I ask, confused.

“Yes.” He looks at me and the smirk on his face makes me want to kiss him again. So, I do exactly that. “See why I wanted to have dinner here? We have privacy.” He smirks again. “Now come, let’s have dinner before you push me to the bed.”

He leads me to the corner of his room, where I see a door that I’ve never seen before. He opens it and I see a small balcony. 

“I didn’t know you had a balcony in your room.” He shrugs.

“I don’t come here very often. But I want to have dinner with you in a private place and under the stars.” I look up and see that he’s right. We are under a sky full of stars. 

“The sky is beautiful tonight.” He smiles, looking pleased that I liked it. 

We sit at the table at the corner of the balcony and I see that the food is already in there. Baz pulls my chair for me to sit, and I have to say, I’m loving this romantic side of him. 

We eat, stopping a few times to talk, but for most of the dinner, I just stare at Baz, seeing that even though he’s happy (I can see that in his eyes), he’s tired and a bit sad. The funeral of his father was yesterday and we didn’t talk about that last night.

“Are you okay?” I ask, reaching for his hand over the table. “We didn’t have a chance to talk about your father.” He gives me a sad smile.

“I’m okay, love. It’s not that I’m not sad or that I don’t miss him. Yesterday was hard to say goodbye for real, but I already accepted that he’s gone. And I can’t do anything to bring him back, so I‘m going to do what he wanted. I’m going to be happy.” He squeezes my hand. 

“I want to help you with that.” His smile is more amazing than ever.

“I want that too. That’s the other reason why I wanted to have this private dinner with you.” I’m about to say that I didn’t understand, when he says. “Simon, you know that I love you, right?” I nod. “Meeting you was the best thing that happened in my life, if we hadn't bumped into each other on your first day here, and if you weren't my guard, my life would be pretty different and sadder now. I know that we don’t know each other for too long, and we have been together for like a week, but I never, in a thousand years would imagine that I would find this.” He points to both of us. “What we have is rare and beautiful, and incredible. You know me better than anyone and I feel that I know you better than anyone.” 

“You do.” I agree, feeling the tears starting to burn my eyes. Baz squeezes my hand. 

“Since the Selection started, I knew that my chances of finding love and being happy were over. I thought that it was over. And when I met you I knew that it would be harder to marry one of them, having you by my side. Seeing your beautiful face every day was torture but also, it was the best part of my day. I started to fall in love with you, I fell a bit every day. Every time I talked to you, every time I knew you a little more, every time you trusted in me, I fell in love with you. And with everything that happened, when I thought it was impossible, I fell for you even more.” 

“Baz -” I try to talk but I feel my throat closing. I almost can’t see because of the tears in my eyes. 

“Love, I can’t promise you that it will be easy, or that we won’t have to face challenges. But I can promise you that I'll try to make you the happiest person alive and that I’ll always love you, each day a little more than the day before.” He squeezes my hand before releasing it, and before I could think of something to say, or to think, he pushes his chair away, comes to my side and kneels taking a little box from his pocket. “Simon Snow, I love you more than I thought it was possible and I can’t imagine my life without you anymore, so would you give me the extreme honour of being my husband?”

I’m blind with my tears, and I’m so shocked and so amazed that I just threw myself on him, making him lose his balance and fall on the floor with me.

“Yes, of course, I do. I love you so much.” He smiles, looking a bit relieved before crashing his lips against mine. 

We kissed for minutes and I understand why he wanted a private place to do that. Here in his room, meant no guard around us, securing him and keeping an eye on us.

“I can’t believe it - I don’t know what to say.” My hands are trembling when he shows me the ring. A beautiful and simple golden ring. “Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, you don’t want to wait or -”

“Simon,” He cuts me. “I’ve never been so sure of something in my life. And technically it’s better when the king is married, they think it brings stability. But I wouldn't be doing this if I didn’t want to. Being with you for the rest of my life is a dream coming true. Of course, I’m sure.” I breathe a bit relieved. “Here.” He takes my hand and puts the ring on my finger.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to stop smiling now.” I laugh and he laughs with me. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you so much too.” The smile on his face could be a reflection of my own. 

“So, this was your plan then. Bringing me here, under the stars, away from everyone and ask me the most important question I’ve ever heard?” 

“Yes, this was exactly my plan.” 

“I think it’s time for my plan then.” He raises his eyebrow. I stand and pull him by his hand. “Now it’s time for us to use the privilege of privacy.” I pull him back to his room and push him on the bed.

“I already told you that I really like your plans?” He asks, smirking at me. 

“You can tell me all night long,” I smirk back.

Baz pulls me to him, making me fall on his bed, and crash my lips against his once again. I think we have a lot to celebrate tonight.  

Baz

I could say something cliche like the sun was shining brighter than ever, or that everything seemed more colourful, but I won’t. What I will say is that I never thought I could be this happy. I never imagined that I would be able to get married to a man, a man that I truly loved. 

Simon and I decided to keep the engagement quiet until the coronation. We would wait a couple of days after the ceremony and then we would announce our relationship to everyone. When I told this decision to the counsellors they all agreed that it was better to wait. So, we don’t tell anyone else about the engagement and keep celebrating only the two of us. 

With the coronation each day closer, I feel a bit anxious. I was already the king, but the ceremony would make it official, and people would start looking at me as their leader. I have been getting ready for this, my entire life, but it’s hard. In theory, everything looked much better and easier.

I spend my days divided between locked in a room full of people to resolve things, or locked in my room with Simon. It doesn’t need to think too much about it to know which one I like best.

I realise that I start to miss Penny, she is a great friend and always knows what to say to me and Simon. Especially in situations where I’m really nervous. But she would be at the ceremony, so I just had to wait.

It helped that Simon was always close now. It was so good to be able to be with him, to be able to walk around holding his hand, or him and not need to hide from anyone. Of course, some people inside the castle still looked weirdly at us, especially the older workers and unfortunately some of the guards as well. 

And that, I knew, made Simon a bit upset. It’s not like he was their friend, but they were colleagues, they worked together and the fact that some of them don’t even look us in the eye for being who we are is a bit hurtful. But I know that not everyone is progressive and open-minded, and I know that I will have to listen to mean commentaries and even aggressions when we tell everyone. 

Unfortunately, that’s a reality we can’t escape. But, honestly, I don’t mind. I spent too much time of my life listening to my father say that I should worry about what others will say, and I’m tired of that. My private life and relationships are only up to me and the people I’m involved with, and my commitment to my people wouldn’t change because of that. I wouldn't be a bad king because of that. 

And having Simon by my side made all that much easier. And makes everything worth it.  

*****

On the morning of the coronation, I woke up with Simon’s mouth on my neck. It was a great way to wake up. 

“Good morning, my king,” Simon says when he notices that I woke up.

“Good morning,” I say, already smiling at him.

“Nervous?” 

“A little, I’m not gonna lie.” He kisses me.

“A kiss for good luck.” Simon looks extremely gorgeous in the morning light. Well, in all the lights.

“I think I need more.” He laughs. 

“I would gladly do as you wish, but I think you have to start the preparations.” He nods to the door. “One of your maids already left our breakfast and said that the counsellors are waiting for you in an hour.” I sigh. 

“They’re always waiting for me, they can wait a little longer,” I say, pulling him to me and kissing him again.

Twenty minutes later, we leave the bed and go eat our breakfast. I’m still eating when someone knocks on my door with my clothes for the day. I knew that later I would have a group of people surrounding me to help me to dress. 

Simon goes to his room, gives me another kiss, and leaves me alone to change my clothes and go meet the counsellors. We pass again through the details of the ceremony and the guests that would be here, along with the other royal families from the other kingdoms. I was extra nervous because of that, I had to pass an image of a strong leader. 

The hours seem to fly as I walk around the castle, talking to a lot of people who were organising the ceremony. Everyone insists that I should go back to my room and rest, but I can’t stay still and I even see Simon helping at something in the organisation, which is always a plus. 

But three hours before the ceremony, they almost obliged me to go away to my room to rest a bit and get ready. I do as they told me, and try to take a nap, but I can’t stop thinking. So, I keep laying on my bed with my mind accelerated. 

When it’s time for me to get dressed, I almost thank the people who came to help, even though I hate their help. My clothes are simple and without too many details. Because later they would put the cape around my shoulders and the crown on my head, and both objects were already too much. 

I walked out of my room surrounded by a special guard that was selected to protect me. It’s silly, but I would feel safer with Simon here. But of course, nothing will happen today, it’s just precautions. And if something would happen I would be glad that he was not in danger. 

We stop outside the ballroom, not the one we used for the last ball, but the one we use for important celebrations. I hear voices behind the door, and then silence. The guards in front of me open the doors and I lift my head, not wanting them to see me with my head down. 

The ballroom is full of people, which I have to say, I don’t know half of it. But I see some familiar faces smiling at me, so I put on my best confident look and walk inside the room. There’s a song in the background, but I can’t hear anything besides my thoughts inside my head, remembering all the time to do everything right.

I see Simon at the first line smiling brightly at me with Penny by his side. I just want to smile at him, at them, but I don’t change my expression. I just walk until I’m with my back to everyone and kneel in front of the priest responsible for celebrating the coronation.

He makes an introduction with a speech that was already a tradition, and then he speaks to me.

“Tyrannus Basilton Grimm Pitch, son of the beloved queen Natasha Pitch and king Malcolm Grimm, do you promise to always be loyal to your crown?”

“I do.”

“Do you promise to always cherish the lives of your people?”

“I do.”

“Do you promise to always aim for the well being of the kingdom?

“I do.”

“Will you always be loyal to your kingdom and your people?” 

“I will.”

“Will you always respect the vows you are making today?”

“I will.”

The priest then comes with the cape and puts it on my shoulders, I stand and turn to the audience, then I step back and sit on my throne. The priest gives an extra speech but I’m not paying attention, I only start to listen again when I see the crown on his hand.

“We gave goodbye to our king last week and now we say hello to our new one. A new era is starting today, an era that will bring prosperity.” 

Then he kneels in front of me and stands again putting the crown on my head. It was heavier than it looked. After that I stand again, now facing everyone for real, looking at their faces and seeing how everyone is reacting. 

“Salute our King. Your royal Majesty Tyrannus Basilton Grimm Pitch. May he have a long life.”

“Long live the king.” The crowd answers and applauds.

And it’s over. I’m officially the king of Watford. 

I won’t lie and say that I’m not scared, because I am. 

But then I look at Simon and see him smiling brightly at me and suddenly I know that there’s nothing to worry about.

Chapter Text

Epilogue

Six months later ...

 Simon

I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. The whole week I’ve barely had enough time to eat, sleep, or do anything besides finishing planning the wedding. But thankfully after months of preparation, Baz and I will finally get married tomorrow and initiate a new phase of our lives. So, of course, I was extremely anxious. 

The last months have been weird and also great. It was difficult for me to adapt to my new life, but it was worth it. And I thought it would be a hundred times worse. Of course that I still get disgusted looks thrown at me, and I never know if it is because I’m the male fiancee of the king or because I’m not noble, but I’m getting used to it. And most people seem to like me and seem to don’t care about the fact that I am a man.

Baz and I were really surprised when we started to see the reaction of people after we announced our engagement. The number of people who didn’t like or agree with our wedding was lower than expected. And the counsellors were also a big surprise. Baz always thought that they were close-minded, but they actually showed a lot of support after the initial shock. 

Anyway, things weren’t difficult. Not as I thought it would be, especially now that I had something to do, other than just waiting for Baz. 

When I was not planning the wedding, I was working with Penny. We both keep in contact with the group anti-royalty and we try to make everything better for both sides. We hear their complaints and talk to the counsellors and with Baz to offer solutions, making a connection between the people and the king.

And I loved doing that. I got to spend time with Penny and to help the people and the kingdom. Also, it was great to have contact with people that didn’t live in a castle. 

When my official duties were over, I was helping to plan the wedding. Baz helped too, a lot actually, but on most days he doesn’t have time, so it was usually just me, Penny and the team that we hired. The team was doing most of the organisation, but Baz wanted us to stay closer to the planning, so we could do something royal enough, but that still had our faces. It was our wedding after all. 

And I have to confess, it was fun to plan the whole thing. Made me closer to the celebration and helped me to calm down. I knew exactly how the wedding would be, I knew that it wouldn't be extremely fancy or extravagant. It would be a lovely and royal ceremony, but on the way that Baz and I liked. Without any exaggeration.

And, of course, on top of everything else, what was better in being here and doing all those things, was having Baz. He makes everything easier. 

These last months gave us the chance of getting to know each other even more, and if I thought that I was already in love before, now it was somehow more intense like time made it better. 

And the fact that we spend a lot of time apart from each other was great actually. It made the moments we are together even more special. 

I’m laying on my bed, reliving the moments we spent together yesterday when a knock on the door makes me jump. I run to the door expecting to see Baz on the other side, but I’m surprised when I see Penny.

“Don’t look so disappointed.” She laughs and walks in.

“I always love to see you Pen, but I was expecting to see Baz.” I shrug. “I only saw him this morning, for like five minutes.”

“Then I’m sorry to disappoint you even more, but you won’t be seeing him until tomorrow at the aisle.” 

“What?” 

“Traditions.” It’s her time to shrug. “Before the wedding, the grooms can’t see each other.”

“That’s a stupid tradition.” I cross my arms while she rolls her eyes. 

“It’s just a day Simon.” I know it sounds stupid, but since we got together, I never slept without Baz. 

“I know.” I huff. “Did you come here only to tell me that?”

“No. Our wedding team wanted me to come here to talk to you and later with Baz to go over the details of the ceremony one last time.” 

“Okay.” I don’t know why we need to do that again, but I know that it’s better to just do it. 

We sit on my bed, and for the next few minutes, Penny goes over all the little details of the ceremony, including our clothes and what we would say. Because of the traditions of the crown, we wouldn’t have to say our vows to each other, but I still wrote it so I could say to Baz later when we were alone. 

I can’t stop myself from thinking about how everything will be from now on. How anxious I am for the future, for having Baz by my side for the rest of our days. 

Penny has to call me a couple of times to make me pay attention to her again. And I try to keep my focus only on her, but it’s impossible to stop thinking about everything else, in how my life changed so much in the last months.

And how it will change even more from now on. I know that Baz and I are already together, but getting married makes everything official. It means that nothing could break us apart, that no one will try to take him from me. 

“Simon,” Penny calls me again. “I know that tomorrow is your wedding, but we have to go through this once again, and then I’ll let you rest, okay?” 

“Fine, sorry, I’ll try to listen to you this time.” I laugh. 

She keeps talking for another ten minutes, making sure that I’d do everything right. I don’t know why she was worried that I could forget or do something wrong, I helped plan the wedding, I knew everything about it. 

“Okay, that’s it.” She says when we finish the final item of the list. 

“Great.”

“Should we go through everything once again to make sure -” I roll my eyes.

“Penny, I already know everything on this list. I was there helping to plan the whole thing, wasn't I?”

“Fine, fine.” She stands. “I’ll let you rest then.” 

I stand and walk with her to the door. I’m already planning to wait for some minutes and escape to see Baz, but Penny must see that on my face because she says.

“And you don’t even think of leaving your room to go see Baz. The guards on your doors are already warned to not let you both leave.”

“Am I a prisoner?” She rolls her eyes.

“Don’t be dramatic. It’s only for a few hours.”

“I didn’t agree with that.” I cross my arms. 

“Go complain to your wedding team.” She shrugs. “Anyway, I have to talk to Baz now. Go rest, tomorrow we have many things to do.” She smiles and hugs me. “Have a good night.”

“You too.” 

When she leaves, reality sinks in my head. Tomorrow I’ll get married. It’s impossible to stop smiling after that. 

Baz

I know Lord Taylor is saying something important, but I don’t know what it is, I’m not paying attention. I can‘t pay attention to anything. All I can think is that tomorrow I’ll get married. And I’ll get married to Simon. 

I always thought that I’d hate this day, that I’d fear and would want to escape and find a way out. I didn’t think that I’d be anxious, that I would want the wedding to happen. And that I would be happy. 

The counsellors start to see that my mind is not at the meeting and they finish it, a bit amused, saying that it is normal to be nervous before the wedding. But I’m not nervous, not really. I just want to get married to Simon soon. I can’t wait to be his husband.

While I walk back to my room, I pass through the corridor where I met Simon, and I can’t contain a smile. Some months ago we were complete strangers, he was just a clumsy cute guard that I instantly had a crush on. And now, he was about to become my husband. It was a dream coming true.

There are a couple of guards on my door, just like there are a couple of guards on Simon’s door, in the room beside mine. Since I became king and since the attack some months ago we have increased the security inside the castle. 

I almost stopped at Simon’s room, but I went to mine first. I wanted to have a shower before I could see him, and I wanted to see him. With my functions as a king and Simon’s new assignments with the meetings with the groups, and with the wedding, lately, we barely had time to see each other, and today I’ve only seen him in the morning for a few minutes. 

My bed seems to be calling for me once I open the door. I really just want to shower and then lay down, with Simon by my side. But of course, I rarely have what I want, because just a second after I closed my door, someone knocked it. 

Part of me was expecting to see Simon, so I’m more than disappointed when I see Penny on the other side of the door. 

“You and Simon are perfect for each other.” She says when she sees my face. “He also was very disappointed in opening the door and seeing me.” I let her walk in.

“Sorry, I just came back from a long meeting and was hoping to see Simon.” She rolls her eyes.

“You both know that it’s okay to be a few hours apart right?” It's time to roll my eyes.

“I know that, and I’m okay with that. But I was expecting to see him today, considering we will get married tomorrow.”

“Yeah, that’s why I came. First, we need to go through the ceremony once again, to see if everything is alright. I just did it with Simon, but he didn’t seem really interested.” She laughs.

“Why didn't you show us together?” 

“Yeah, that’s the second thing I came to say. In case you forgot, your Majesty, by tradition the grooms can’t see each other at the night before the wedding.” I feel almost my jaw-dropping. What a stupid tradition was this? “You will see him tomorrow at the wedding.”

“Are you saying that I can’t see my future husband because of an old tradition?” Penny rolls her eyes once again, but I can see that she is smiling. 

“God, you and Simon are so dramatic.” She says. “Yes, that’s exactly what I am saying, and don’t even try to sneak out your room later, your guards and his guards are aware and won’t let you leave.”

“I am the king, I can order them to leave.” I cross my arms. I wouldn’t do it, and I’ll respect the traditions, but I like to provoke Penny. 

“I already gave the orders, and they are more afraid of me than of you.” She smirks.

“You’re probably right.” I laugh. “Come on, let’s see what you came to show. I’m exhausted and I need to sleep.”  

Penny stays for almost a half-hour, explaining all the details of the ceremony. When she finally leaves - after seeing me yawn for like ten times - I go to my desk to check my vows again. I wanted to say the vows in front of everyone, but it was another tradition that we had to follow. 

In the past years, most weddings on the court were arranged so many couples weren’t in love, it was mostly political games, so they didn’t feel it was necessary to have the part of the vows. But I wanted to tell Simon what I was feeling, how happy he makes me and a lot of other things, so I wrote the vows to tell him after the ceremony. I hope he likes it. 

After that, I take a shower and eat something, and try to calm myself, try to think that only some hours from now Simon and I will belong - officially - to each other.  

Simon

If someone asked me later how the morning of the wedding was, I honestly wouldn't remember anything. I was so anxious and so nervous that I barely paid attention to anything else around me. 

I know that Penny came in and talked to me, trying to let me calmer. And I know that I heard lots of people walking and making noise in the corridor. I also know that they brought me food for breakfast and later for lunch, but I couldn’t eat because I was extremely anxious. 

I remember when they brought me my clothes and helped me get dressed. And I remember thinking the whole time that I was about to get married to Baz, and I couldn’t stop smiling. I still can't. 

And now I started to wonder if Baz was as anxious as me. If he also couldn’t wait to see me and to say the words that would bond us together. 

“You look so handsome,” Penny says after the team helped me to get dressed. 

“Thanks, Pen. Have you seen Baz?” I'm eager for some kind of information. 

“Not yet, but I’m going to his room in a few minutes.” She laughs with my anxiety. “Calm down Si, just a few more minutes and you’ll get to see him.”

“I know. I just can’t stop thinking and being nervous.” She laughs again.

“It’s okay to be nervous. It’s normal to be nervous before your wedding.”

“Yeah, I just can’t wait for what comes next, you know. Actually being married.” Her smile becomes soft.

“I know, and I’m sure you both will be very happy. You’re the cutest and adorable couple that I’ve already seen.” I smile at her and try to relax.

But not even a minute later, Gregory, from our wedding plan team knocks on the door.

“Are you ready?” He asks.

God, if I am ready? 

Of fucking course. 

“Yes.” That's all I can say.

“Then let’s go, it’s your time.” 

I take a deep breath and look at Penny, who just smiles and pats my shoulder. Then I walk out of my room, and briefly look at Baz’s door, just wanting to see him, and thinking if he’s as happy as I am. 

They took me to the ballroom, the one where Baz was crowned, that was big enough to fit all the guests that we had to call. That Baz had to call, like the King he had to invite lots of people. 

I’m outside, the doors are still closed, but I can hear the talks inside. Part of the wedding team is here with me, setting the last details and telling me once again what would happen. They fix the medals on my clothes, and once again I ask myself if what I’m wearing is good enough. 

They put me in clothes similar to the guards uniform, but everything was more royal, more appropriated for the husband of a king. They put me in a blue jacket, the colour was stronger than the one in the uniforms, almost a navy blue, with golden details that matched the medals - that they gave me for bravery after the rebel attacks - and the pants were black, also with some small details in gold. I don’t know if it will be enough to match Baz - I didn’t see his clothes - but I’m hoping it is.

“You look great.” Penny is once again on my side. “Don’t worry, you’re gorgeous and you both will look lovely together.” 

“You saw him?” She nods. 

“I did, and he is coming, so that means that it’s your time to get in.” She nods to the doors. 

“Okay.” I'm really nervous now.

I hear music and more noise inside behind the doors and then the team opens the doors and hundreds of eyes fall on me, watching me. I try to relax, but I know I’m too anxious and nervous, so I just think that Baz is coming too, that soon we will be together and then it is easier to just walk down the aisle and smile. 

Baz 

I was pacing around my room, trying to be less anxious, trying to not leave my room and walk to the room beside mine, when Penny walks in.

“You look gorgeous.” She smiles.

“Thanks,” I say, barely looking at her.

“Something wrong?” 

“What? No, I’m just -”

“Nervous?” She raises her eyebrow while I nod. “Don’t worry, Simon is also very nervous. I think if he was alone he would already have come here to see you.”

“Same.” I shrug. “I just want this to get over soon. I love that I’m getting married to him, but being under so many eyes is unnerving. I know that lots of the guests will judge us, and Simon, the fact that he’s not a woman or noble. I don’t care about any of that, but I know Simon doesn't like to be the centre of attention. And I don’t want him to be upset.” 

“Baz, don’t worry, okay? Simon has barely stopped smiling since he woke up, I doubt he will pay attention to anything or anyone besides you.” That makes me smile a bit. “And the ceremony will be over soon, then you will just need to endure a few hours of the party and it’s over, it will be just you two.” I nod. 

“Yeah, I know.” She offers me a glass of water that I gladly drink. 

“Ready?” 

“Of course, I am ready for this for ages.” 

I look at myself in the mirror once again, seeing if everything is in place. As a tradition, I had to use the colours of the House Pitch, red and black. So, I had a red jacket with golden buttons and golden details at the sleeve and the collar. The jacket also had a strip going from my left shoulder to the right side of my hip in blue. I could have chosen another colour, but I knew that Simon was wearing blue, so I want us to match somehow. My pants were plain black with a small detail in golden at the sides. 

“You are amazing, stop looking at the mirror and let's go, we are almost late,” Penny says, pulling my arm.

“Okay, I just need to see if everything is alright.” 

We leave my room surrounded by guards and Penny asks for us to wait while she goes to talk to Simon and give the signal for him to get in. I almost start to bite my thumb, but I’m able to control myself.

I hear music getting louder and some seconds later, Penny comes back saying that Simon is already walking down the aisle and taking me to the doors of the ballroom. She waits until someone confirms to her that Simon is already in his place, and then she squeezes my arm and smiles at me and they open the doors. 

If at my coronation, I wanted to show strength, today I want to show how happy I am. So, I just look around until my eyes find Simon’s and smile. He looks even more gorgeous in blue, it’s like it makes the blue of his eyes shine even more.  

Simon

Baz is walking to me, and his eyes don’t leave mine even for a second. He’s wearing red, which somehow makes him even more handsome than always. I don’t look at anyone else, I just look at him, walking to me, a huge smile on his face, that could be a reflection of my own. Honestly, at the end of the day, my cheeks will be hurting from all this smile. 

“Hey,” I say to him, once he reaches the aisle.

“Hey yourself Snow.” I smile hearing the name that he still calls me sometimes. 

He smiles too and I take his hand. It’s always amazing to feel his skin against mine, I think I will never be over this feeling. We climb the few steps until we are in front of the priest that also celebrated Baz’s coronation.

He makes a speech welcoming everyone and talking about the importance of love and of other things that I’m honestly not paying attention to. Baz and I are looking at each other, so I’m too lost in his grey eyes to mind anything else.  

Baz

Simon is looking brighter than ever and if I had any doubts about his feelings for me, just by seeing him all of the doubts would fade. I can feel how happy he is, I can see the love in his eyes, and it’s a bit unbelievable that it’s all to me. It’s all because of me. 

His thumb is brushing the back of my hand and he's smiling, and I see that I didn't have to worry about him being uncomfortable being the centre of attention. Actually, he doesn't seem to care about the others. I know I don’t. 

I think I never smiled so much, but I can’t pretend that this isn’t the most important day of my life. The happiest day of my life. 

The priest is talking, but I honestly can’t pay attention to him. I only can look into Simon Snow’s eyes and smile, knowing that from now on he is mine and I’m his. It’s impossible not to think about everything we went through, all the times I thought that being with him was just a dream, that I would never have him. 

I start to pay attention to the priest when he comes closer to us, I have no idea what he was saying but I know that now comes the part where we need to say something, so he looks at me and asks.

“Do you, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, take this man, Simon Snow, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”

“I do.” Simon squeezes my hand and I can see a few tears in his eyes.

“And do you, Simon Snow, take this man, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?” 

“I do.” If it was hard for me to stop smiling before, now is impossible.  

Simon

The priest holds our rings and delivers the first one to Baz and then to me.

“Say after me.” He says to Baz and starts to recite a few words that Baz repeats.

“I, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, give you Simon Snow this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you.” He takes the delicate ring and puts it on my finger. It’s like it was made to stay there. 

“Now you say after me.” The priest tells me the same words he said to Baz. 

“Simon Snow, give you Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you.” I place the ring, which is exactly like mine, on his finger and when I look up, I see Baz smiling like never I saw it before.

The priest starts another speech, but I’m just waiting for him to end the ceremony and to tell us to kiss. 

“I now pronounce you married. You may now kiss.”

I’m still smiling when Baz pulls my hand, the one that he was holding, and then I feel his lips on mine. Neither of us is comfortable showing affection in front of other people, but today we don’t mind. 

But even so, our kiss is faster than I wanted, faster than I needed. But I don’t care too much. I have the rest of our lives to kiss him. And I definitely would kiss him later, once we were alone.  

Baz

We leave the ballroom under applause and cheers, but the only thing I can focus on is my husband holding my hand and smiling brightly by my side.

We follow the team who organised the wedding through the corridor, neither of us says anything, we just walk until we reach one of our meeting rooms. They open the door for us and let us be alone, while the guests are guided to another ballroom where the dinner will be served.

“Hello, husband,” Simon says when we are alone. 

“Hello, husband.” I pull him by his waist and he puts his arms around my neck.

“I can’t believe we are married.” He smiles.

“Me neither. I'm really happy.” I lean my forehead against his.

“Me too.” He pulls his lips between his teeth. “I love you.” 

Listening to those words is still magical, and makes me crash my lips against his. Here, alone, we can kiss without worrying about anyone else. And it’s what we do. We kiss for long minutes until we need to break apart to breathe.

“I love you too, Mr Pitch.” He smiles with his new name.

“I like that.”

Before I could say something, our team knocked on the door wanting to take us to dinner, where our guests were already waiting for us. 

“If I could I certainly would skip this dinner and party and would take us directly to our wedding night,” I say in Simon's ear.

“I’m hungry, so I’m looking forward to dinner, but your idea sounds so much better.” He smirks at me. 

The guests cheer us again, once we enter the ballroom, and just stop when we sit at our table, which allows them to sit as well. 

Because this was a royal wedding a lot of the traditional things that people did at their wedding weren't allowed, like the toasts that were usually made by someone of the family or friends. So, we skip directly to dinner, which is served first to us, and then to the guests. 

“Now that I already ate, I wouldn't mind skipping the rest of this party,” Simon says, making me smile. 

“Unfortunately, I think we have to stay.” He shrugs and kisses my cheek.

“That’s okay, I’ll have you for the rest of our lives.” He whispers in my ear, making me smile.

“I like how that sounds.” He smiles too. 

Simon

The dinner and party were nice, but I was looking forward to being alone with Baz, so I wanted everyone to be gone so we could leave too. Luckily, the time seems to fly, the dinner is delicious and the guests seem to be having fun.

We have our first dance in the centre of the room, with everyone looking at us. And that doesn't make me as uncomfortable as I thought, it’s kinda nice actually. 

After that, another song starts to play and other people start to join us, which we take as our cue to go back to our table. We agreed to stay for another half hour, where we went back to dance with the others and to talk with a few people. 

When the thirty minutes passed, we saw that everyone’s attention was not on us anymore and they were now enjoying the song and the drinks. We talked to our team, to let them know that we were leaving and then we were escorted back to Baz’s room, which was now our room. 

“Finally alone,” Baz says once he closes the door of the room. 

“Finally.” I agree, throwing my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. 

“So, I know that we couldn’t say our vows at the ceremony, but I wanted to, so I wrote the vows anyway and I wanted to read them to you.” I step back and look at him amazed.

“Are you serious?” He looks confused.

“Yes.” I laugh, which makes him even more confused. 

“I think we were thinking the same then.” I take a piece of paper from inside my jacket. “I wrote the vows too.” He smiles.

“We match.” He leans forward touching my lips with his. “Okay,” He says once we break apart. “I’ll start then.” 

We sit on the bed, facing each other, then he takes my hand and starts reading.

“Simon, love, I admit that writing this was a bit harder than I thought. I have so many things to tell you that it was impossible to decide what to tell you first, what was more important for you to know. So, I decided to start with something easy to say: I love you. I don’t think I ever valued those words and this feeling so much until I met you, until I heard you saying it to me, until I felt it, in such an intense way that I thought it would break me.” He looks at me. “I can’t describe how I feel every time I hear you saying those words to me, but that just makes me love you even more if that is somehow possible.”

I’m already feeling my eyes starting to burn with tears, and then Baz starts to brush his thumb against the back of my hand. 

“I don’t think I thank you enough for walking in my life, for saving me from a life that I would hate, for being by my side and for loving me when I know that many others wouldn’t. I don’t think I thank you enough for making me the happiest person alive, and I don’t think that I would ever be able to show that completely to you, but I wanted you to know that. I wanted you to know how thankful I am for having you in my life.” I feel tears running down my cheeks.

Baz looks up and smiles leaning a bit to brush away my tears.

“Simon, I have to say that I don’t remember exactly how I fell in love with you, I don’t think I had just one single moment when I realised. I think it was slow, with little gestures, like every time you smiled, and when you were so worried about me that day outside the orphanage. With our conversations, and how you hated the competition as much as I did. I fell in love when you told me the truth about you and when you said you trusted me. I fell in love every time you were there helping me and saying nice things after a fight with my father. I fell in love when you hugged me the first time and definitely fell in love when we danced under the stars.”

I’m still crying, hearing him say those beautiful words that make my heart beat even faster.  

“Love, I can’t promise you that we will be this happy every day of our lives, but I can promise you this, I will always try to make you the happiest person in all kingdoms, I will always love you every day a little more than the day before. I will always tell you and show you how much you mean to me, and won’t ever let you think that something else is more important than you. I would promise you the world if I could, but I promise that I will do whatever I can for your happiness.” He puts the paper aside and takes my other hand. “I love you so much and I never thought that I could love someone like this and I never thought someone would love me like this, so today, I just want to thank you for being this amazing person, for loving me the way you do and for accepting to spend the rest of your life with me. Thank you for giving me the honour of being my husband, I won’t ever be able to thank you enough for that. I love you more than you think.”

I’m not quite sure if he ended his vows, but I just threw myself on him, making him lose his balance and fall on the mattress. I take his lips on mine, wanting to express how I feel after hearing all these amazing things he just said. I never doubted his feelings, but it is wonderful to hear him saying it. It makes me believe that we both love each other in the same way. 

I really never expected to have someone loving me the way Baz does, and repeating a few of his words, I don’t think I will ever be thankful enough for whoever made our paths crossed months ago.  

Baz

Simon is on top of me, kissing me like the world is about to end. What I think it means, that he liked my vows. Every time we kiss, it's like the first time. That night months ago, under the stars, after weeks thinking that I would never be able to be with him. When I thought hope was lost.

Everything is different now, but the kiss is still the same. The love between us is bigger, our relationship is better, but the kiss still tastes the same way, it’s like the excitement of the first kiss is still present. We kiss like this was our first kiss and also the last, we let our feelings flow through our kiss, wanting to show each other how much we are feeling. 

“You liked it then?” I ask when Simon sits back.

“Of course I did. Baz, I never -” He shakes his head. “I know you love me, but hearing it, all the things you said, it’s wonderful.”

“I feel the same.”

“Great, because now it’s my time.” He shakes the paper in front of my eyes. “I don’t have the ability to write such beautiful words as you do -” I kiss him, cutting his words.

“I will love whatever you write, I’d love it even if you hadn’t written anything.” He looks happy with that. 

“Okay then.” He sits back in the position we were in before. “Baz, I never had anyone to call family and I don't think that after growing up I even wanted that, but everything changed when we met. Of course, I didn’t think that at that first moment, but we know that everything started there, when we saw each other for the first time in the corridor. I won’t ever forget how you looked that day and how I wanted to hate you, and how I failed in doing that. I don’t think I tell you enough, but you are an amazing person, and I started realising that on my first day as your guard.” He laughs and looks at me. “I have to say, I was really confused, but everything started to make sense once I allowed myself to see the real you.”

He takes my hand as I did with him, and enlaces our fingers.

“I do remember the moment where I realised that I was in love with you. But in reality, I did fall for you every day, a little more every time I got to know you better. And I still do. Every time I saw how much you cared for your kingdom and your people, when I found out about your visits to the orphanages and how you were doing something you hated because you thought it was right. Every time you looked at me with those beautiful grey eyes and every time you smiled at me, I fell in love.”

His words are doing a great job in making my eyes tear up.

“But even though you were getting a place in my heart every day a little more, the first time I noticed that it could be something else was when we got together inside that broom closet, remember?”

“How could I forget?” He laughs and I laugh with him. 

“After that, I realised that something else was happening, because yes you were a good person and I liked to be your friend, but I didn’t want to kiss every good person I knew, not in the way I wanted to kiss you. It took me a few moments and a conversation with Penny to realise, but my heart was already yours. And then a few days later I heard you and your father talking about ending the Selection and I felt so broken like someone had ripped my heart. I knew you were getting married to one of those girls, but a part of me was hoping that something could change. But when I heard you, it was like all the hope was gone. And then you stopped talking to me and it was when I realised that I was in love with you. That I couldn't live without you and certainly couldn't see you getting married to another person.”

He had some tears in his eyes, like remembering that was still too sad. That makes me cry, the possibility of everything being different.

“Luckily we sorted us out, and I loved you, even more, when we were together at the cottage, and if possible, I loved you even more in the following hours, when I thought I could lose you. Even though I had the Mummers, I never had anyone to care about and thinking about the possibility of losing you was worse than anything that I already had passed through it. I knew that I couldn't lose you. You were the family I didn’t even know that I wanted. You were - You are - the love of my life and thinking of losing you was something that I never want to think about again, not until we are very old. And maybe not even then.” My tears don’t stop falling. “I never again want to think about how different our lives could be now. I almost lost you to different things too many times, and now I just want to appreciate the life we have. I just want to appreciate you.”

He is still crying, probably remembering our hours of terrors. But I’m just too emotional over his sweet words. 

“You made me a lot of promises, so let me do mine. Love, I promise to be by your side no matter when no matter where. I promise to always tell you how amazing you are, especially when you don’t believe me. I promise to always take care of you, even when you don’t think you need to. I promise to be here to hold you if you fall and to pull you back every time you need. I promise to love you every day of my life, more and more. I promise to try to make you as happy as you make me.” He’s smiling between his tears, and I start to smile too. “Thank you for being who you are, thank you for allowing me to know you and for loving me the way you do. I love you so fucking much.”

When I see that he finishes the vows, I copy his movement and throw myself on him. I already had heard some of these words through our months together, but listening now, knowing that he really means all of it, it’s wonderful. 

I kiss him with everything I have, his lips are so familiar by now, that kissing him is like coming back home. He is my home. I never felt this comfortable with anyone. I never even wanted that until I met him.

“This means that you liked it?” Simon asks.

“What do you think?” I raise my eyebrow at him.

“I’m not good with guessing. I have to hear you say.” He smiles.

“Okay, Simon, I loved it. Every single thing you said, I loved it all.” I kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He kisses me.

“Now, if you agree, I’d like to start the wedding night part,” I smirk at him. 

“I’m totally okay with that. Have I already told you that you have great plans?” This time he smirks at me.

I close the small distance between us once again, kissing his gorgeous lips. I still can’t believe that we are really married, that he is mine and I’m his. It’s a dream coming true, I’ve no better words to describe it. 

Simon and I have been through difficult things, we have come a long way. From that day where we saw each other in the corridor, until now at our wedding, so many things have happened. And not only good things, I mean we have been through things that I never expected. But now, looking back, I don’t think I would do something different.

Everything that happened taught me something, made me grow. And brought the most incredible person to my life. I wouldn’t do anything different, not if it means that I could lose what I have now. If it means that I would lose Simon. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, and he is mine. 

And that is all that I truly need.