Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rain is something Levi has learned to embrace over the years, a natural phenomenon he didn't get to see until he was in his late twenties. When he was a child, his mother would tell him stories about the world above, and she would mention rain. For a long time, Levi doubted that the sky could be torn apart, sometimes going so far as to deny that the drops could freeze when it was cold outside. When he could see, smell, feel and hear the rain, he was fascinated. He quickly learned that grey clouds caused rain and that white clouds were just there to decorate the sky above him. He learned that rain could be beautiful and soothing, but deadly as well. The humanoid creatures they like to call Titans use this phenomenon to their advantage. Levi would know, having lost his closest friends and several comrades in the disaster.

The soldier brushes his wet locks from his face, the inky black colour looking even deeper. His steel eyes scan his surroundings as he tries to navigate the familiar fields outside Wall Maria. They used to train here before Wall Maria was invaded by the Titans. They had to give it up and lost hundreds of people in the process, something that affected Levi deeply. There was no way anyone who hadn't escaped in time could have survived the breach.
"Eld? I need you to ride ahead. Watch out for abnormals." He decides and turns to his second-in-command, letting his eyes roam over his subordinates.
"Yes Captain!" The blonde eagerly speeds up his stallion and he races away from the droop, rain and fog engulfing him at a relatively short distance. Levi doesn't like it one bit, the fact that they can be blinded so easily is dangerous.
"Green smoke signals on your left!" One of his soldiers notes, causing Levi to look in the direction where Mike's squad should be.
"Everything's going according to plan." Levi breathes out, relieved that they will soon reach Trost again. No deaths, hardly any injuries and Hange was able to study a disintegrating Titan for a few minutes. Everything was going according to plan, until it wasn't.

Levi has to force his horse to stop when he notices Eld's unoccupied one standing in the overgrown grass. A rush of panic hits him and for a moment he feels planc adrenaline rushing through his veins. For a moment, he suspects the worst and prepares to face a titan, but then he notices his dear comrade hovering in the high fields.
"Now is not the time to take a shit, Eld." Levi is quick to point out the misdeeds of his subordinates, easily dismissing them as insults.
"Uh- Captain?" Eld pipes up, pointing to the damp ground.
"What? You want me to look at your shit?" He may be short, but what humanities strongest soldier lacks in height, he makes up for in rude comebacks.
"Captain, there is a girl." Baffled, his eyebrows furrow in an unsettling frown, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced.
"There's a what now?" Surprised, he lets his body sing from his stallion's back, a 'tch' escaping his lips as he sinks into the muddy earth. If there's one thing Captain Levi hates more than Titans, it's dirt of any kind.
"On the walls." One of his soldiers mumbles as he approaches Eld, who is about to place his cape over something to protect it from the relentless rain and storm.

Levi gulps as he sees you for the first time. Your head is bruised and your clothes torn, your skin pale and wet, your hair dirty and damp. There are several scratches all over your body and it takes him a moment to regain control of the situation. It's certainly unexpected.
"She needs medical attention." He decides and gestures for Eld to step aside.
"I found her like this a few minutes ago." The second in command explains, shivering slightly as his clothes soak up the rain.
"No sign of anyone else. No Titans." Levi nods and leans down to check your pulse, to make sure you are still breathing. It's weak and your condition is most likely unstable, he needs to act quickly.
"We have to hurry. Eld will take you to Erwin's squad and I'll ride her to Trost." He decides and carefully takes you in his arms, carrying you to his horse.
"Hurry. Tell him what happened." He orders, carefully pushing you onto the back of his black steed. Your body hangs over both sides, and while it's not ideal, it's better than nothing. Many questions fill his head as he rushes back to Trost, keeping a firm grip on your unconscious body. How did you leave the walls? Did the Titans attack you? Did you even come from within the walls? By saving you, he'll find the answers to these questions, or so he believes.

Light hits your vision as you open your eyes, a blinding headache makes you whimper in pain and confusion. "Where am I?" You ask aloud, slowly trying to open your orbs to give them time to adjust to the many new influences. You notice someone to your right, a man sitting in a chair looking at you. That's when you start to notice your surroundings. You are in some sort of infirmary, a white curtain shields you from the rest of the room, and a window lets in warm rays of sunlight. The stranger is wearing a greenish uniform, obviously from a military regiment. Are you in trouble? What has happened?

His blue eyes scan you with fascination, and a pair of thick eyebrows furrow at your sight. He seems calculating and calm, studying you like a predator.
"Who...?" your voice is hoarse and you can barely get another word out. It feels like you haven't spoken for a long time, which makes you wonder how long it might have been.
"My name is Commander Erwin Smith. You're in the headquarters of the Scouts Regiment, do you remember how you got outside the walls?" While the man's voice seems serious, there is a certain edge to it, something twisted. Walls? Sounds familiar, you have heard it before. The regiment he mentioned? Not so much, it must be the military division he is from.
"No sir." You blur and run your hands over the soft blanket that has been placed over your body.
"Where are you from? I suppose from somewhere inside the Wall Rose, am I right?" The Commander demands to know, making you gulp at the realisation that you can't remember anything. Not where you lived or how you got here, not even your own name. Salty tears gather in your eyes and run down your cheek, making you feel ashamed to cry in front of this military man.
"I don't remember." He looks at you with obvious suspicion, clearly doubting that you can't remember anything.
"Are you sure?" Smith asks, a slight mockery in his deep voice. You clench your hands and glare at him in anger.

"Yes, I remember having younger siblings to play with. My parents owned a bakery." Memories of fresh bread you sold at the market and faceless sisters running away from you giggling rush before your inner eyes as you swallow the numbness that has formed in your throat. More tears stream down your face at the thought that you can't even remember what your family looked like, hell, you can't even remember what you look like.
"Anything else? Names maybe, or special events in your life?" You take a moment to collect your thoughts and try to think of something special. There is one name that dominates every corner of your mind, leaving a bitter taste on your lips and making you jump at the sudden unpleasant sensation that overwhelms your senses.
"Not that I can think of." You decide to say, lying through your teeth for the first time. Although you are sure that there could be consequences for you, the thought of saying the name scares you a little, and you don't even know why.

"All right. Do you remember who found you outside the walls?" Commander Smith shifts in his seat and crosses his arms, never once taking his intense gaze from your crouched form.
"I just remember someone carrying me to a horse, that's all." You speak truthfully and lean back into the cushions. Erwin Smith lets out a sigh, his eyes moving to something you haven't noticed yet, another man, a soldier who appeared at the entrance.
"Levi." The commander gestures for the soldier to come over, giving you enough time to study the relatively small man. His hair is neat and coal coloured, his skin pale and his eyes seemingly devoid of emotion. He looks much more intimidating than the blonde, even though he's much smaller.
"It's as you suspected. Her head injuries have taken away all her memories." Erwin speaks, a serious change in his tone that you don't like. The soldier called Levi positions himself right next to the seated Commander, both of their eyes on you now.
"Maybe you could help her remember, hm? Motivate her a little." The black-haired soldier steps forward wordlessly, his movements swift and unpredictable as his hand grips your scalp tightly, making your head throb with pain. A yelp escapes your cracked and dry lips, you struggle against his grip, tears blurring your vision.

"Honestly? I don't give a fuck about your name. What really interests me is how you oh so mysteriously appeared outside the walls." His voice is deep and harsh, the way his grip on you only seems to tighten makes you feel frightened.
"Ngh. Stop!" You beg, letting your nails sink into his wrists, but as far as you can tell, he doesn't even flinch.
"Answer my questions and I will." He demands, pulling you closer, your body tensing. You feel violated, somehow suffocated and torn from your freedom. The moment you saw the Commander, you knew something was wrong, that you must have done something bad. And the worst part is, you don't even know what. The only thing on your mind is that name, and right now you're debating with yourself whether it's wise to mention it. When you open your eyes, you see a pair of angry grey ones with shadows dancing in their dark pupils. Levi, that's his name. You have the feeling you have seen his eyes before, seen him before.
"Oi. Stupid brat, you must know something. Spit it out." He is rude and annoys you, making you consider spitting in his face.
"Look at her, Erwin. She probably lost not only her memories out there, but her brain too." You groan in anger at his comment and use the moment of his momentary ignorance to collect your saliva in your mouth.

As Levi turns his attention back to you, something warm and lubricious hits his face. Surprised, he lets go of your wounded scalp and runs his fingers over his cheek, catching the thick, clear, bubbling substance between them. Confused, he looks between you and his hand, a cheeky grin on your tired face. Levi's teeth clench together as he feels disgust rising in his gut and before he can compose himself and calm down, he clenches his hand into a fist and slams it into your cheekbone. Your head is thrown to the side and for a moment you feel nothing but a numbing sting, the heat instantly flushing your cheek red. A hand closes around your face and pulls you up sharply, squeezing your flesh tightly.
"Disgusting bitch." Levi curses and roughly applies more pressure to your cheeks. Whimpering, you grab his wrist and try to pull his strong fingers away, but he makes it difficult for you to move at all.

"Do that again and I'll cut your tongue out." He scolds you, shaking your head in his grip, making you a little dizzy, your head injury and sore cheek suffering from the assault.
"Eren Yeager." You whisper softly, black spots blurring your vision for a moment.
"What?" The black-haired man leans closer, loosening his grip on you so that you can speak more easily.
"Eren Yeager. I only remember his name." Levi and Erwin share a look, the blonde shrugging.
"I've never heard of him." He decides and Levi's attention quickly shifts back to you.
"Neither have I. Who is this supposed to be?" The soldier demands to know, taking a step away from your bed to give you some space. If you are honest, you had hoped that they would know, after all this Eren seems to be important to you. You shift in your mattress, adjusting your body to the new found freedom. Hoping that this Levi man will keep his distance, you begin to explain, trying to collect your thoughts.
"The first thing I remember is waking up under a tree. My head hurt pretty bad and I was disoriented." The situation is imprinted on your mind like a bad dream; you can't remember how it started or ended, maybe it's still going on.
"I walked for a while but collapsed again when it started to rain. I don't know how much time had passed before one of your men found me. I must have blacked out or something soon after.

Erwin seems conflicted, his beautiful blue eyes reflecting his inner anguish. On the one hand he wants to believe you, sees your serious injury as reason enough to trust your words, but on the other hand this situation is too good to be true. It has only been two years since Wall Maria fell, and his theories about human trafickers using this situation to their advantage only seem to grow. Now a young woman appears in the wild fields right inside the fallen wall. It's absurd to him. His serious expression shifts to Levi, calculating his next steps.
"There are rumours that traffickers from the underground city use routes outside Wall Rose to transport women and children. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Erwin wonders, catching Levi off guard. He's not a man to give much thought to rumours, especially as ridiculous as this one, but it could be another explanation for their sudden appearance.
"I did. Although I highly doubt it. There's no way they could survive out there." Levi says, easily dismissing the idea.
"But she did." Erwin points out, both eyes resting on you again.

You doubt that you were the victim of traffickers, and apparently Levi does too. The new situation you find yourself in still confuses you, and you begin to question whether you are from their people at all.
"What if I'm from outside your walls? I honestly don't even know what these walls are supposed to be". You confess and cross your arms, and for a moment you could have dropped a needle, and the room fell deadly silent. You may have hit a nerve, judging by the way the two men stare at you in bewilderment.
"Shit." The smaller one breathes out and puts his flat hand to his face.
"Either she's stupid or she really is from out there." He mumbles to himself and glances at his Commander, waiting for new orders and instructions. The blonde stands up, slightly towering over his soldier, looking down at you with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion, both emotions that will determine how they will treat your stay here.
"Organise a meeting with the Section Commander. I'll write to Commander Pixies." They both walk past your bed without further explanation, leaving you in the dark as to what's going to happen.
"Wait!" you demand, making Erwin stop in his tracks, while Levi continues to walk away, not interested in staying and continuing to entertain your confused self.

"What will happen to me?" You ask, worried about what they have planned for you. It's not as if they were particularly hostile towards you.
"That is up to you" With that, the Commander follows Levi's lead and leaves you alone with your thoughts, giving you time to process everything that has happened. Crying, you hide under your blanket, wondering what has happened to you and your memories.

You wonder who you are.

Chapter Text

Commander Erwin Smith places a piece of paper on the oval wooden table as he takes a seat and watches his trusted soldiers. Section Commander Mike leans against the wall, arms crossed and brow raised, as he watches Section Commander Hange Zoë madly describe her theories to Captain Levi. The small man just rolls his eyes absently and drinks his steaming hot tea.

"The girl had a dream." Erwin speaks up, attracting the attention of the high-ranking officers.
"No shit." Levi says in a monotonous voice as he leans back in his chair, dark circles under his eyes explaining his gloomy mood. He hasn't slept again.
"In her dream, Eren Yeager enlisted for military service. The cadet corps sent me a list of the newest cadets. Yeager enlisted a week ago." Erwin tells them, watching their reactions closely. While Mike looks at him thoughtfully, Hange's eyes widen in trance. Levi pauses, the rim of his mug on his lips. "So what? She's some kind of psychic now? A medium maybe?" He sneers, his tired eyes staring at the small, shredded herbs in his tea.
"Not at all. I think he played a role in her past. Perhaps he mentioned it to her at some point. What we do know is that she saw Shinganshina fall in one of those dreams." At this point, Levi noticeably leaves out a heavy point. "She's probably traumatized" he thinks, sipping at his tea before deciding to speak.
"So she's from Shiganshina." He points and puts his cup down on the table, looking at the notes in front of Erwin.
"But how did she get out?" Mike asks, taking a seat opposite his commander, his long legs accidentally bumping into Levi, who just glares at his comrade.
"She doesn't know yet." Erwin explains coldly, handing Mike his notes.
"I want you to talk to her next. Take Nanaba with you, another woman might do her some good." Section Commander Mike agrees and reads through the paper on which all her memories of the last two weeks have been collected.
"Maybe she broke out of the psychiatric hospital." Levi offers mockingly, but his comment is ignored. Hange on the other hand gets all the attention as they jump into the air.
"I want to meet her too! I have so many questions, so many theories..." Their sentence is interrupted by the Captain, a dark look in his eyes. "Tch. Good luck with that, four-eyes. The girl can't even remember her own name."

The Commander clears his throat and gives his trusted friend a disappointed look.
"Hange, you'd only overwhelm the poor thing, she's in a delicate state." Levi bursts out laughing, earning a sideways glance from Erwin and Mike. The truth is, Levi doesn't believe for a moment that you are an innocent victim of someone else's misdeeds. He has looked behind your facade and seen nothing but malice in your eyes. The moment you recover, you're likely to make a run for it.
"As I said, her condition is no longer critical, but she is still struggling to adapt to her new situation." Erwin continues, looking around the room for confirmation.
"I was thinking of giving her a name, something to call her by. It might help her with the situation, her doctors agree with me." He explains, turning to Mike.
"Give her a few options to choose from. Not too many, it shouldn't overwhelm her." The Section Commander nods and takes the paper, folding it and putting it in his pocket.
"Anything else?" He asks, getting up and preparing to leave to fetch Nanaba.
"Don't mention what happens outside the walls. It's a sensitive topic."

Your nurse has given you a history book. She hoped you would remember some of the events written in it, but it only seems to confuse you more. Apparently, humanoid creatures called Titans ate most of humanity over a hundred years ago. King Fritz built the Walls to protect his people from the Titans and it worked, protected them until two years ago. Two Titans, different and much stronger, destroyed Wall Maria and the Titans were able to spread across the lands. District of Shiganshina. You dreamed about it last night, and you'd describe it as horrible. Perhaps those dreams were memories after all? A knock at the door made you look up, your eyebrows raised in surprise. It's unusual for them to announce their presence , and after a while of hearing nothing else, you let out a shy "Yes?" The door opens and two soldiers enter, a woman with short blonde hair and a man so tall that he almost banged his head against the door frame.

"I'm Squad Leader Mike, this is my subordinate Nanaba. Do you mind if we talk a bit?" Confused, you shake your head. "Not at all." You close the book and place it on your bedside table, gesturing for them to take the seat that the Commander usually occupies. He visited you every day, eager to know if you remembered anything new. You told him about your dreams and he just smiled and assured you that you were from within the walls. It was a comfort to know that you were one of his people. Who knows what they might do to you if you weren't. Mike offers Nanaba a seat, while he himself leans against the window frame, looking at you with fascination and a small smile.
"How would you like it if we were to put a name to your face?" he asks, surprising you. You are sure you already have one, you just need to remember it.
"A new name?" You wonder and look from Mike to the woman, feeling a little happy to see one. For the last few days you thought you were the only one, apart from your nurse.
"Yes. The Commander thought it might make you feel better to have a name to call you by." The woman answers, her voice unemotional and harsher than you expected. She embodies the typical soldier for you.
"Alright." You decide and fidget with yourself, thrilled at the idea that they might call you something other than 'the girl'. You've seen a picture of yourself in the mirror, and though you look young, you're certainly no longer a girl, but a grown woman.
"What's the first name that comes to mind?" The Section Commander asks, curiosity on his face. You take a moment to think about the name and before you know it, you blur out "Ymir".

"That's an unusual name." Nanaba comments, meeting Mike's eyes.
"But I guess if that's what you want to be called..." you interrupt her and shake your head.
"No. It's just-" You shrug, confused by the name. It doesn't feel like it's yours, but someone else's. Your mother's, perhaps?
"-I don't know. Feels wrong." Your voice is low and your head is down, Mike immediately senses your inner anguish and discomfort. He can only imagine what it must feel like to be in a constant spiral of memory and identity loss.
"It's all right, don't worry about it." He assures you, and moves a little closer, hovering over the side of your bed. The wave of your scent hits his nostrils and he can't help but like it, even enjoy it.
"If you'd like, we could give you some options to choose from." He offers, relaxing his posture and looking down at you. Feeling so small compared to him, you simply agree, wondering what they might come up with. At this point you feel rather comfortable with anything, it feels strange to be referred to by a term rather than a name.
"How about Maria? That's where we found you." He suggests, making you cringe at the thought. Nothing good happened there, it feels like you are carrying a blight with you.
"Mike." The short-haired woman glances in annoyance and rolls her eyes at her leader.
"What? I thought it was good." He shrugs, crosses his arms and dares her to come up with a better solution.

"What do you think of Faye?" Nanaba asks, smiling at your positive reaction. You think it's nice, even meaningful, because it translates into loyalty or faith. It is unclear to you, even surprising, how you know this. You're grateful for her suggestion, it's definitely a nice alternative for now.
"I like it." You confess and smile at her, finding her warm aura somehow comforting.
"See, Mike? I'm good at this!" She comments cheekily and winks at you, making you blush at the gesture.
"Sure, whatever." Mike rolls his eyes and leans against your hospital bed, seemingly seeking comfort.
"Faye. Commander Erwin thought it would be nice for you to talk to some new faces." He explains, his arms still casually crossed to make you feel less tense.
"It might help you remember." Nanaba adds, eagerly leaning forward.
"Maybe." You shrug and wait patiently for her questions, hoping it won't turn into another interrogation.

"Do you remember anything from your childhood?" It is a simple question and you will find that you can talk about it more and more every day.
"My parents had a bakery in a village. I had three younger siblings and an older cousin who lived in a nearby town". You begin to explain, picking up a cup and gulping down the water. Your throat is still a bit sore and you find it hard to speak longer sentences.
"He joined the military, I think, and his parents died soon afterwards." You remember that day, you were about ten, and it disturbed you deeply to see your father crying like that. You don't know what happened, but you remember your aunt well, a beautiful woman with blonde hair and blue eyes.
"I don't remember much about the years after that. I think I left school when I was 14 to help my parents in the bakery." Mike listened to every word you said and pulles a piece of paper and a pen from his pockets.
"Do you remember your cousin's name?" The Section Commander asks, eager to find a new clue.
"No. But I'm sure it's an unusual name, something with a Z." You explain uncertainly, wondering if your mind is playing tricks on you. You can't even think of a male name that starts with the letter Z.
"We can work with that." Mike explains, glancing at the mocking clock on your wall.

"Training starts soon." He reminds his subordinate and prepares to leave, daring to sniff at your scent one last time, smiling happily as he does so. You look at him confused, uncomfortable with the sudden closeness.
"Don't mind him. It's normal." Nanaba waves him off and puts a caring hand on your shoulder.
"Have a good day, Faye. Hopefully we'll see more of you soon." With that, the two soldiers leave and are about to close the door when someone stops them.
"Oi. Is the girl in a chatty mood? I have some questions." You recognise the deep voice, even though you haven't heard it since the day you woke up. It's the rude soldier the Commander calls 'Levi'. He, humanity's strongest soldier, is being blasphemed by the nurses. You can't help thinking he's a bit short for a man of his calibre. The only thing you can make out is Mike muttering something in a low tone, which makes you sit up and lean forward a little. The sudden movement hurts your head and you immediately regret having been so curious. Just as you lean back into your fluffy cushions, the short-tempered Captain bursts into your room, the usual stoic expression on his young features. You've heard he's in his early thirties, something you didn't believe at first. His small frame and flawless skin make him look younger, perhaps in his twenties.

"Captain." You speak slowly, looking at him with nothing but disdain. He hasn't given you any reason to like or trust him, quite the opposite. The way he has treated you has given you a feeling of mistreatment.
"They say you have a name now." He says, running his finger over the window frame, disgusted at the way it leaves dust on his skin. Your nurse once complained about the Captain's obsession with cleanliness, noting that the only thing he seemed to fear was dirt.
"Nanaba gave me one. It's-" Levi immediately cuts you off, shushing you with his deep voice.
"I don't care." He spits with a roll of his eyes as he pulls a handkerchief from his pocket to clean his skin. You jump at the rude tone and stare at him uncomfortably.
"Then why are you here?" The question hangs in the air, a tense atmosphere making your blood pressure rise. Something flickers in Captain Levi's eyes, a dangerous gleam you last saw the day you woke up.

"You still don't remember how you got out." He says slowly, his grey eyes locking onto you.
"No." You are honest, nothing but emptiness clouds your head when you try to think about it.
"Highly unlikely, but human trafficking could be a possibility. Do you know how they mark their victims?" With a deep voice and a clenched jaw, Levi moves forward, brushing the blanket from your nervously shivering body. The cool air hits your skin, sending shivers down your spine. You are dressed in a simple woollen robe that covers your arms and ends at the calves of your legs. His action confuses you and he comes to a stop, staring at your legs with intensity. You blush, breath catching in your throat as he grabs the hem of your dress and pulls it up. A squeak escapes your lips and you move your legs away from his hand, complaining loudly that he is overstepping.
"Relax. I just need to check the back of your thighs for marks." He says it in a calm, even bored manner. You don't trust him, but you hold still anyway. Commander Erwin trusts him a lot, and even though neither man has ever given you a reason to belive their word, you do as they say, because it might help your case. They may treat you nicely now, but what if they decide to deem you untrustworthy?

Levi's hand feels cold against your skin and you can't help but look away, ashamed and embarrassed. You're sure that it's not proper for a man to see a woman's bare legs like this. The fabric of your dress rests in your lap, barely hiding your pelvis from his watching gaze.
"Lie down, raise your legs." He's patient, seeing how his necessary demands make you uncomfortable. You obey, shuddering as he reaches out to touch your flesh, examining it for the mark he believes to be there. At the same moment his skin touches yours, flashes of unknown memories hit you hard, taking you by surprise. The sides of your head ache, blinding you with pain as you close your eyes. Numerous images seem to flash past them, making it hard for you to take in what's happening.
"Oi. Pull yourself together." A harsh voice snaps you out of your trance, causing you to blink your eyes open in exhaustion. Whatever you just saw must have been in the past; dead soldiers and Titans.
"It's not like I want to hurt you."

After a few seconds, he lets go of your leg and takes a step back. Still shocked by your experience, you pull the robe down your trembling legs, covering them from his view.
"Well, at least you weren't trafficked." He says, crossing his arms, his sparkling eyes hiding his true feelings from you.
"Is there anything else you need?" Your voice is shaky, but it's definitely filled with malice towards the man. You still haven't forgotten how he mistreated you.
"Perhaps you would like to examine the rest of my body?" You ask boldly, with a subtle undertone of mockery, waiting for his reaction, hoping that you will provoke him. His expression darkens, the orbs flickering with something dangerous.
"Tch. Don't be stupid." The Captain scoffs and rests his body against the wall, relaxing his posture.

"I saw through your facade. Sure, there was a possibility that you were a victim. But now? I have the feeling you are hiding something." Levi confesses his thoughts, a hard expression on his stoic features. Until now you have always thought of him as an emotionless wreck of a man, but his face tells too much. He must be a lonely and bitter soldier, struggling with the loss of his comrades and the unknown. He sees your silence as a given opportunity to continue.
"Maybe you mean us harm, maybe you don't. I could care less. I just want to know why a stupid girl like you would leave the safety of the walls. My comrades fell for your safety and here you are, wounded and without memory." His words sting and confirm your suspicion that he cares deeply for the lives of his subordinates.
"Was it worth it?" The question lingers in the room, making salty tears fill your already mirroring eyes.
"I don't know." You confess, scratching the back of your head in shame.
"You must believe me, Captain. My memories are gone." The man doesn't seem convinced, but he just shrugs and prepares to leave, giving you one last hard look.

"Whatever. Get well soon. We can't have useless shits like you on our supplies without getting your services in return."
You don't know what he meant by that, but you'll find out soon enough.

Chapter Text

"Thank you for agreeing to this, Faye." Erwin Smith's voice has a sinister undertone to it, making you swallow as he and his Section Commander stare at you with intensity. You liked the name at first, thought it was pretty even, but somehow after a month you got tired of it. It doesn't really feel like it belongs to you, and the frustration of not remembering anything still haunts you. While your dreams continued with vivid images of your past, none of it was of any use to the Survey Corps. After your recovery, still with no memories or anything else, Commander Smith decided it would be best to discuss your future plans. You knew it would come to this, they would never have let you just stay with them. You sit in his office, fingers fidgeting nervously as you give him a small smile, not in the mood to talk to him any further. You've felt shy and insecure around him lately, doubting yourself for most of your stay here. Of all the other soldiers you've met, Section Commander Mike has been the nicest to you. His weird habit of sniffing you hadn't stopped yet, but you got used to it and found it a bit funny. His subordinate Nanaba, on a good day, would show you around and tell you all about the Titans she knows. Hange Zoe, another Section Commander, was nothing but a little creepy lately. They wanted to examine you after hearing from the Captain that the Titans hadn't attacked you. You like their attitude towards the cold man, though. Speaking of which, Captain Levi avoids any form of contact with you, for which you are grateful.

"We have discussed your matter. Not only in the Survey Corps, but we also spoke to General Zackly." You have heard that name before, he surely must be in a leading position.
"He thinks it would be a good idea to recruit you. We can't condemn you for something we're not even sure you've done. You have no home to return to, and so far you are in good shape." His words hit you hard, pulling you into a reality you wish you didn't have to face. You do not want to be a soldier, a puppet in the hands of these men. Erwin seems to connect the dots, furrowing his brow at your obviously desperate reaction.
"Of course we can't force you. But where are you going, Faye?" You bite your lower lip and let your eyes wander through the higher-ups. Mike gives you a thumbs up, probably to reassure you of your decision, while Hange seems giddy at the thought of you joining the regiment. Captain Levi doesn't spare you a glance, his eyes fixed on the window, a cup of tea in his hand. You notice the odd way he holds it, fingers around the rim instead of the handle. You shake your head and meet Erwin Smith's eyes again.
"I don't know." The silence is uncomfortable, you feel ashamed to be so clueless, but can they blame you?
"You can always change your mind and leave the cadet corps. Your recruitment lasts three years, after which you choose a regiment". He explains casually, making you wonder what the other regiment might be like. You nod your head and straighten your posture to appear at least a little more confident.
"I'm going to join the cadet corps."

There is a certain edge to your voice, an uncertainty that makes Levi's gaze shoot daggers at you. The truth is, he still believes you left the safety of the walls of your own accord. How you managed to get past the guards and survive out there for so long is still a mystery to him. Sure, he can see why four-eyes is so infatuated with you, or why Mike likes to look at you for longer than necessary. You're an attractive young woman who seems to have outsmarted the titans. Having you as a soldier could be of immense benefit, which is why Erwin so desperately wants you to be his obedient subordinate. Levi observes you closely, the way you behave and carry yourself. He notices how your freshly washed hair makes you look healthier, your skin still pale from lack of sunlight. You are truly beautiful, and you draw your comrades under your mysterious spell. Male and female alike. Erwin's next words quickly snap him out of his thoughts, causing him to tear his eyes from your form.
"Levi and Mike will train you. It may take another week to clear things up with Commander Shadis. You have a lot to learn." While Section Commander Mike approves the idea with a quick smile, Levi slams his favorite china onto the table, almost breaking it in half. His tea spills over the edge and burns his fingers, but he could care less.
"There's no way I'll be in charge of her training! I've got enough to teach my own troops." The small Captain complains, anger burning in his belly. You look at him and scratch awkwardly at the back of your head. Sure, you don't want him to be your teacher either, but you wouldn't dare complain about it so openly. "Levi, it's only for a few days. Why don't you let them train with your new cadet, Miss Hansen? I'm sure they'll get along fine." Erwin encourages, not noticing the black-haired, grumpy man rolling his eyes at him. You think it's the first time you've seen them interact like this. Captain Levi's lips form a thin line, obviously fighting with himself to control his next insults.
"Whatever." He spits, his teeth clenched as he crosses his arms in annoyance.
"Well, now that that's settled, we'll get you a place in the women's barracks and a uniform." He promises, a confident smile on his lips, while his deep eyes gaze at you with what looks like adoration for you. Shuddering at the thought, you look elsewhere, realizing that this was probably all he wanted from the start; you to stay close. Your case is special after all.

━━━━━━━༺ - ༻━━━━━━━

A week later, you are bruised and beaten, your skin covered in blue marks from where the Captain struck you. You've spent most of your time training with his squad, and only had the chance to learn from Mike three times in the last few days. He is a busy man, always at the Commander's side. Captain Levi's squad is not too bad, they are good individuals and you get on best with a girl called Emma Hansen. She's seventeen, graduated from the cadet corps only a month ago, and has been under Levi's command ever since. The other members are Eld, his second in command, the twins Lars and Luca and a woman called Vanessa. She's not very talkative and stares at you like Levi. Training with them wasn't so bad if it wasn't for their Captain. He has been on your back for the past few days, putting you through a hard and unforgiving process. You find the ODM manageable and learn that you seem to be good at it. Fighting, running and riding aren't for you. The faster your stallion, Sonne, gets, the more fear you feel. Sonne may be a sweetheart and seems to enjoy the way you stroke her head, but her speed is something you can't quite grasp yet. Running wasn't a problem at first but combined with countless rounds of parkour and chasing your new comrades, you'll soon be tired out. You hate combat. Wrestling with Emma isn't a bad thing, she's thoughtful and restrained, giving you tips on how to improve. Your other sparring partner, Luca, is a little harsher with his moves, but he would always help you up after your failures and motivate you to keep going. And then there is your Captain. It feels strange to call him that, to feel the pressure to show him respect. After being officially accepted into the military two days ago, thanks to Commander Erwin's connections, you've had to tone down your insults towards the dwarf. At first, you used to curse him whenever he tried to pin you down or make you run another lab. But now? You've heard that he likes to punish those who disobey and disrespect him, and you're certainly not going to play with his temper like that... or so you thought.

Today is your last day of training with the scouts, something you've been looking forward to. You need proper training, and while you've learned a lot from the Scouts, Captain Levi's way of teaching is simply unorthodox and mostly humiliating. In the cadet corps, you would at least be able to learn with other beginners. Erwin Smith made sure that you got a place in the southern trainee programme, exactly where Eren Yeager is supposed to be enlisted. The thought of meeting him makes you nervous, wondering if he might be the key to your lost memories. You have also seen him a few times in your dreams; a boy with brown hair and the greenest eyes you have ever seen.
"Is this freedom?" He would ask no one in particular, spreading his arms with a broad smile on his innocent face. Perhaps Eren is your little brother? Or maybe a family friend. You'll find out sooner or later, you can be sure of that. While sparring with Emma, you notice someone appearing behind you, clutching your hips tightly. You instantly stop your movements, stiffening at the unfamiliar touch. Just as you're about to turn to find out who's burst your bubble, the man begins to speak, causing your cheeks to blush. Section Commander Mike towers over you, a small smile on his lips, and you look up at him in amazement.
"You're moving your hips too much. Keep them steady, it will give you an advantage." He explains, his hands guiding you into his preferred position.
"Don't lean your body backwards, your opponent could easily take your balance away." With that, he moves his hands to push your back a little further forward, his touch never leaving you. This catches Levi's attention, a frown creasing his pale face.
"Oi. Stop touching her like a bitch in heat. Fucking disgusting." The captain complains and leaves Eld, his poor sparring partner, to come over to you, Mike and Emma. You glare at him, roll your eyes and mutter a "you're one to talk" under your breath. Unfortunately, the little man heard you and shoots daggers at you with his cold, stone-like orbs. Mike holds his hands up in defense, a look of annoyance on his usually calm face. "I was just trying to teach her." He shrugs and crosses his gangly arms over his chest.
"Besides, it's my duty to train her too, you know?" The Section Commander argues, but Levi is quicker to point out that he was "too busy" and had to do everything himself. "Pf. Whatever." The blonde brushes the Captain off and turns his attention back to you. "Faye, I came to tell you that I will accompany you on your way to the southern division tomorrow." Your face instantly lights up, for you believed that the Captain would accompany you. That makes the journey seem a lot less torturous.
"Thank you, Section Commander, I really appreciate it." The way you smile warms his heart a little and he hums in appreciation. Levi scoffs at the sight, glaring at both of you before clearing his throat. "Mike, don't you have a section to lead, or something?" The taller one turns his attention back to Levi, raising his eyebrows at the man. "You want to get rid of me that fast, hugh?" He jokes, grinning at the Captain. "You interrupted our training. With all due respect, get lost." Rudely, Levi turns his attention from the Section Commander back to you and his subordinate, who has been watching their discussion with parted lips and rosy cheeks. Emma feels slightly out of place.
"Of course, shorty." Mike insults, turning his attention to you and placing his big hand on your shoulder.
"I'll catch up with you at dinner," he promises, leaving you alone with the Captain. Your eyes follow him for a while, confused by his kindness. Of all the people you have had to deal with, he, Nanaba and Emma have been nothing but subtle with you.

"Tch, silly girl. Stop drooling." Levi pulls you slightly out of your trance, cold eyes nagging at you, frustrating you.
"I wasn't drooling. I was lost in thought." You bite back, imitating his sour expression. The way Levi treats his comrades is what you dislike most about him. Harsh, unforgiving and disciplinarian. Whenever you disrespect him, punishment follows. Cleaning, extra training or public humiliation is his way of "teaching" his subordinates.
"Lost in thought? Got a death wish, idiot? If you daydream outside the walls, you are not only a danger to yourself, but to your squad as well". Feeling your hands clench at his words, your features darken. “Who said I was going outside the walls?” You ask in a provocative manner, noticing how his squad falls into silence at your question.
"There are other divisions, and as a cadet I can choose my preferred division, can't I?" You feel Emma stiffen at your side as Levi approaches, stopping just in front of you. His heavy breath hits your skin and you can see that dangerous glint in his eyes, the one he has before he attacks. You know what's coming before it happens, but you're still not quick enough to move away from his outstretched hand. A yelp escapes you as he grabs your collar, pulling you closer to face him.
"Sometimes, Faye, we don't get to choose. Do you think the Commander would accept you joining the garrison, or better still the fucking MPs? You are here because you fucked up, now you have to make up for it." Spit hits your face as he hisses at you and you feel a rush of panic as he pushes you back, causing you to stumble and land on the ground, mud soaking your white trousers.
"Not that you're good enough to join the military police anyway." He comments, looking down at you with disgust. Most of the other troops have stopped their training just to look at what has happened, and you are instantly ashamed. Hot, angry tears fill your eyes as you brush them away and stand up as quickly as you can.
"Pathetic. Stop crying, soldier, and be a man." He turns and motions for his troops to follow him. You start to walk behind Emma when the Captain stops and looks over his shoulder, directly at you.
"Tch. Not you, brat. Get cleaned up, I can't stand looking at your filthy ass anymore."

Dinner is less strenuous. You've been starving for hours and are grateful for the steamed potatoes and fresh bread. Nothing special, but the food regulations make you feel lucky to get something at all. You decide to sit in your usual corner; away from the others and to yourself. You've been avoiding Levi since noon and don't feel like sitting with his troop. It would only lead to more humiliation for you, that's for sure. When Mike suddenly sits down on the bench opposite you, a shiver runs down your spine and you jump a little. You didn't expect him to be here so soon, he hasn't even eaten yet.
"Hey. I heard the Captain gave you a bit of a hard time. Don't take it personally, he's like that with literally everyone." He tries to reassure you, but you just cringe at the memory.
"He pushed me. Nothing big." You play it down, looking up from your plate to meet his eyes.
"So, about tomorrow. When and where should I meet you?" You ask, trying to change the subject so that Mike doesn't intrude any more.
"Right. At the stables at 6 am. We should arrive around noon." He stops to take a sip from his cup of water and swallows a heavy gulp.
"Make sure you pack all your things. Erwin also wants you to continue your dream journal. You should send him monthly reports." You groan and roll your eyes, not really understanding the whole dream journal thing.
"But they are useless." You remind him and cut into your potato, hoping to convince him that they are of no real help.
"They are amusing, though. I can't believe you dreamt of Levi in a wheelchair. That's hilarious." He laughs a little and takes a bite of his bread, smiling at the thought of mankind's strongest being unable to walk. If that happens, they can forget about humanity. You, on the other hand, don't laugh as you swallow at the thought of this dream. "It felt so real, though." You whisper, shaking your head in frustration, wondering what it could have meant. "Don't worry your pretty head about it. Trust me." You smile a little, blushing as he winks at you.

Mike is a flirt, attractive too. But somehow it feels like getting close to him would only bring you pain. And you were right.

Chapter Text

Dreams swallow you whole the moment you experience them. They can be quite sweet, showing you happy moments, foolish desires and moments you might have cherished from your past. But sometimes your dreams become twisted. Sometimes scenarios flash before your eyes, shameful moments you can't control. One in particular has you screaming. The dream itself began intensely, the Section Commander had you pinned against a wall, hands eagerly holding you, while his lips sucked on your neck. You can't really remember how that scene turned into a bloody and disgusting one. You've dreamed of Mike being caught between titans, his screams still haunting you and vivid images of him being torn apart and eaten won't let you go. Right now you are shivering, breathless with panic, tears streaming down your pale cheeks. The whole women's barracks has been frightened to death by your agonized cries, and it's not long before Captain Levi bursts into the barracks, closely followed by Hange.

His usually spotless shirt is half unbuttoned and hangs loosely around his heaving chest. He fell asleep on his desk an hour ago, papers under his head and nightmares haunting him. The moment he heard blood curdling screams, he knew it wasn't his demons. He was awake in seconds, grabbed his beloved knife and ran after the unbearable screams. Levi thought at first that someone had broken into the sleeping quarters of his female subordinates, but there was no stranger or fellow soldier disturbing the young women. There is only you, screaming and kicking, your back arched up, your chest rounded. Your eyes are rolled into the back of your head and there is a thin line of blood running down your face, coming from your nose. Emma gently tries to shake you awake, but it takes more than that. It's a disturbing image and Levi rushes to your side, his knife hidden in his trouser pocket.

"What happened?" He kneels at your side, the question directed at Emma, who has small tears in her eyes.
"I don't know, she just started screaming." She cries, her fists clenching your nightgown. When Levi was a child, he saw one of his mother's colleagues have a similar episode. His mother never gave it a name, but mentioned that it was a sleeping disorder. Unable to calm her down, or even wake her up, the Captain lets out a frustrated breath and pulls his arm back. With a quick movement, he swings it back and strikes your cheekbone with such force that you are instantly jolted awake. No one seems to understand why you are crying or screaming so bitterly. Hange even suggests that you are possessed by a demon, but Levi is simply frightened by the sight of you. The plague of your lost memories must have really screwed with your head, and he still doesn't know what happened to you. Your eyes are wide open and full of pain as you stare at him with your mouth open. Confusion, shock and fear are written all over your features. Then it hits you. You can't stop crying, muttering about Mike being torn to pieces, trying to convince Captain Levi and Section Commander Hange that Mike is dead.

"We should take her to the nurse." Levi mumbles and carefully urges you to stand up and leads you out of the barracks. Your skin is cold, but your whole body is covered in sweat, as if you've been drenched in freezing water.
"Can you hear me, Faye?" He asks, but doesn't get an answer. "This is new." He thinks bitterly and shakes his head in frustration. He has seen soldiers plagued by nightmares, after all, he himself is haunted by them. Some comrades even suffer from night terrors, their cries similar to yours, but they run around the headquarters disoriented and can't remember it the next day. Your incident is different. Eyes rolled back, stiff with fear, almost suffocating. Did you experience sleep paralysis? Deep in thought, he barely notices that you've stopped crying and started to speak in a raspy voice that almost crushes him.
"Mike is dead." Levi lets out a sigh and grips your shoulder tighter.
"No, he's not. He's sleeping." He promises, desperately hoping to avoid an argument, but it only seems to confuse you more.
"I heard his screams, his bones breaking and saw his flesh being torn. I smelled his blood." You swallow hard and walk weakly with him, not questioning where he is leading you.
"It was a nightmare. The nurse will give you something to calm you down." He promises and, to your surprise, gently strokes the tangled hair behind your ear. He can't help but to think that you look beautiful like this, weak and in desperate need of help. Levi gulps, giving himself mentally a slap. He certainly must be experiencing sleeplessness.
"It felt too real." He doesn't know how to answer, it wouldn't do to reassure you of the delusional night attack you've suffered. So he silently leads you through the corridors, the many possible scenarios making him anxious, and after explaining the situation to your nurse, he leaves you in her care, sitting silently by your side to watch over you. He will not let this happen again.

After hearing about your incident, Mike had to go and collect you in the hospital wing. You were still asleep, due to the medication you had been given, and at your side sat Levi, fast asleep in a chair, much to his surprise. As he entered, the black-haired soldier opened his eyes and let out a deep groan as he realized where he was.
"I didn't expect to find you here." He whispers and slowly walks over to your recumbent body, a small smile on his lips at the sight and smell of you. "I was waiting for her to have another attack." He explains simply, not bothering to speak in a hushed voice.
"What exactly happened?" The Section Commander wants to know, Hange wasn't really specific, only spoke of 'demonic possession' and Mike doubts that an angel like you would have such tendencies.
"Fuck, if I know." Levi scoffs and stretches his arms, walking past Mike to leave the hospital wing immediately.
"Make sure she doesn't fall off her horse. She's an incompetent rider." You wake up, rub your eyes and briefly notice someone leaving as you turn your attention to the other man in your room. At the sight of him, something in your chest tightens, making you sit up immediately.
"I overslept, didn't I?" You squeak, your voice hoarse and your cheek painful. Did someone hit you? As you touch your cheek, Mike gently takes your chin between his fingers and moves your head up so he can see the bruised skin.
"Levi got you good, Hugh? You must be a fast sleeper." Confused, you lock eyes with him and then the memories of last night hit you. Stiffening at his touch, your eyes widen and your lips part. "I- Section Commander, you..." unable to form a sentence without stuttering, Mike slowly steps back, giving you some space.
"Relax. You can tell me everything when we get to the Southern Division. Get dressed. We'll leave in ten minutes."

━━━━━━━༺ - ༻━━━━━━━

The journey has been tiring, and after what seems like a whole day, you can finally see the headquarters of the Cadet Corps from afar. You told him about the dream, obviously leaving out the first, more pleasant part. That would have been inappropriate, after all, he is a high-ranking Section Commander and you are just a cadet. However, he had been a bit flirtatious with you in the last few days, which even the Commander had noticed.
"Write down everything you can remember. Leave out no details. If you don't send a report, Erwin will probably send Levi to motivate you." He explains, smiling at the conflicted face you make at the mention of the Captain's name.
"And if I experience something similar to yesterday?" The thought of experiencing something similar, especially in front of strangers, frightens you. You're actually glad that the nightmare you experienced was the last night with the scouts, they'll surely forget about it in the next three years, right? "Personally, I don't think it's that important, but Erwin would want to know. He's infatuated with everything you do, it seems." Mike explains, shuddering slightly at his own observation. It's true, you think, Erwin has been strangely interested in your mere existence ever since Eld found you. He is obsessed with you. Not in a romantic or sexual way, no, he rather likes the feeling of having found a mysterious thing like you. It pushes him, urges him to find out all your hidden memories, just like Levi, although the little man is not as fascinated by you as his Commander.
At least you hope that's the case, as the Captain seems to have a sick fascination with making you suffer. You don't answer Section Commander Mike, instead you sink into your thoughts and let them consume you. Would it be a stupid idea to choose a division other than the Survey Corps? It would definitely hurt the Commander's ego, pride and hostility. Besides, it would be in your own interest to find out more about your past, and you feel that the Scouts are the only ones who can help you. You don't seem to have any chance of getting into the Military Police Regiment anyway, and the garrison is your only other alternative. To be honest, you are not even sure what they do, you have only heard about them a few times from Commander Erwin.

The closer you got to the southern training corps, the more nervous you became. Eren Yeager could be the key to your mind, and you really hope he can unlock that stupid dark hole in your head. You are greeted by a bald man with an expression that challenges Levi's. He looks from you to Mike, a deep glare in his almost angry face.
"Erwin better have a good reason." He spits and watches you, making you wonder how much he has been told about you.
"What's your name, cadet?" He asks and you instantly freeze at his tone and salute him as Levi taught you. Your right hand, clenched into a fist, moves to your chest while your left automatically rests behind your back.
"Faye, sir." He looks at you suspiciously, glancing at Mike.
"What, no last name? Don't tell me she's like Levi, I don't need two of that bloody midgets." You wonder what he means by that and furrow your brow, noticing that the Captain is only referred to by his first name. Strange indeed, has he lost his memory too?
"Engel. Her name is Faye Engel." Mike makes up his mind in seconds and puts a hand on your shoulder, patting it lightly.
"Forgive her, Commander. Levi hit her pretty hard in training. You won't regret taking her on." He promises and begins to list your skills, or lack thereof.
"She showed promising talent in the ODM, is patient and obedient. Also willing to learn, you won't have much trouble with her." Shadis nods his head in silence, finally letting you relax. "Alright. Follow me, Cadet Engel. You'll be introduced to your new comrades." Turning to Mike, you smile at him and wave goodbye. "Thanks for everything, Section Commander! I won't let you down, I promise." His thin lips form a smile and he hums in agreement.
"Don't be afraid to write to me sometime, little angel." With that, the two of you say goodbye and you follow your new commander to a wooden building, a blush on your cheeks and your heart beating against your chest. A simple crush can't hurt, can it?"

Following Shadis into the building, you are greeted by a raucous group of teenagers who make you instantly regret your decision.
"Get down!" The Commander's voice is loud and aggressive, and it's impressive to see all the young soldiers in training stiffen under the demand, their voices shut and their eyes wide open, staring at the Commander and at you.
"This is Cadet Engel. From now on she will be part of your training. Ackerman, show her around." A girl with beautiful black hair and pale skin stands up, her face emotionless, and walks in your direction. A red scarf adorns her neck, and as you get closer you notice that her eyes and nose are slightly different. You believe that her ancestors came from the eastern world, and you look at her beautiful hair with fascination.
"I am Mikasa." Stoic, cold and rather shy, she introduces herself to you, hiding her face in her scarf.
"Faye." You introduce yourself, feeling like a liar for using the made-up name. "You can join us for lunch." She offers quietly, turning quickly to one of the tables. You follow her without a word, feeling like a puppy on a list with all eyes on you. At first you thought you were the oldest here, but as you approach the row of tables where Mikasa sat just seconds ago, you notice two young men who seem to be closer to your age. The black-haired man introduces them to you as Reiner and Bertolt. Across from them are Jean and Connie. A girl with a great appetite for potatoes waves to you. "This is Sasha." Mikasa adds with a roll of the eyes. At the same table, but at a considerable distance from the others, are two girls; one with a rude expression, the other with a warm smile. Her name is Krista, while the brown-haired older girl's name, to your surprise, is Ymir.
"Armin." She points at a young, blonde haired boy with blue eyes and rosy cheeks. He appears too innocent to be enlisted in the military, much like the Krista girl. You then turn your head, meeting a pair of green eyes. Breath hitching in your throat, the boy's eyes widen at you. You recognize him from your dreams, though that joyful youthfulness in his face is gone.

"Eren?" You ask in awe as he nods his head. "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name, but I know you." He says, seemingly deep in thought.
"I'm from Shiganshina." You speak, a sinking feeling in your stomach. "Maybe we lived in the same neighborhood?" He offers, looking at Armin and Mikasa. "Right guys?" The blonde just shakes his head in confusion, wondering if he might have seen you before. Mikasa on the other hand just shrugs.
"Your- ugh father. He was my mothers doctor." You explain and take the seat Reiner offers you. It feels so easy for you to spread these beliefs, and yet you don't even know how many of the scenarios you've dreamed are actually true. You figured now would be the best idea to challenge them. He eagerly nods his head, agreeing that he might have met you that way before. If they were not to be true, Eren would ask whatever you ment. While dreams are the door to your memories, they can also inundate you with twisted images of your past. After the hour-long journey, Eren offers you a roll, insisting that you need something to eat. Finally agreeing, you reach your hand across the table, ready to gratefully take it from him. As your fingers touch, something strange happens, something that makes electricity shoot through your body and for a moment you see a strange image before your eyes. Eren, a little older than he is now, is standing on a wall, looking into the distance. Directly behind him a monstrous titan, glowing with heat, flesh burned from his body, leaving nothing but muscles. The colossal titan. Eren lets go of the roll and gulps at you, as if he had been struck by lightning. At that moment you realise that he must have seen and felt that too, whatever it was.
"Sorry." He breathes and picks up the bread as an awkward silence consumes both of you.
"It slipped." The boy tries to rush an apology and quickly puts it in your hand, grinning uncomfortably. While Connie jokes about Eren being stupidly in love, you feel someone's eyes on you, but the moment you turn your head, that feeling is gone. You had that strange feeling twice before, once with Captain Levi, the other time for a brief moment when Section Commander Hange ruffled your hair. Both times you saw images flash past your mind's eye, but the strange images you saw with Levi have stayed with you the most. It was the day he checked your legs for marks, and whatever he did to you, you didn't like it at all. Intimidating scenarios, situations over which you had no control. It was shameful, unspeakable things you saw, much worse than what you had dreamed about Mike.

You used to think it was the way he dared to touch you, but now you are sure it was something else. And it certainly wasn't lost memories.

Chapter Text

Year 849

The last two years have been hard, much harder than what you endured with Captain Levi. Shadis trained you well, exhausted you to the point where you lay sick in the barracks for a good month. But you made it, you perfected your ODM skills, you are not too bad with the blandes and you are building up muscles. You have made friends with some of the older cadets and get on well with Eren's group. Most of the time, though, you were on your own, writing reports to Commander Erwin whenever you could. He never really answered, and for the first two months you thought he had not received them, fearing he might send the Captain after you, but he never came. Your dreams are nothing but strange. Sometimes they show clear events from your past, and you can now at least remember what your parents looked like. You even remember the names of your siblings; Maria (like the wall) and Tommen. It makes you happy to put a name to their faces, though you still feel hopeless about yours. Nothing but black spots surround your brain when you try to think. In the other dreams you have, you see absurd scenes that always seem to take place in your future.
You dreamt of a decapitated blonde man, saw several of your new comrades dead or even imagined Eren turning into a titan, how absurd. Even though you still believe they are nothing more than your imagination, you kept your promise to the Commander of the Survey Corps and used your free time to write down those damn dreams. With your thoughts, you clung to a rather old, but remarkable one. Ilse Langnar, a Scout soldier, was able to communicate with a Titan that later ate her. It felt so real, as if you'd been there with her. You were even able to understand the Titan who, to your surprise, spoke of "Lady Ymir". Whether he was referring to your comrade you don't know, but it's certainly not a coincidence. Nor are your visions. You had them with Eren and Captain Levi at random times, but the trigger was always a touch. That's why you started to avoid touching others, or at least to avoid the combat training with Eren. It's confusing and unpleasant, and by now you can tell that he also has these vivid visions.
You stretch your arms out and lean your upper body against the wooden wall of the canteen. The wind rustles through your freshly cut hair and you look off into the distance, catching sight of a man riding directly in your direction. The stallion is quite fast, and you can see more cadets leaving the canteen as he gets closer. Jean stops next to you, wondering who it could be. With a shrug, you try to make out the figure. Black hair, pale complexion and a green cloak. You have a certain suspicion, but you pray you are wrong. It has been a good day so far, his presence would only ruin it. Gulping as you finally recognise the man, you let out a sound of annoyance, catching your comrades off guard.
"Do you know this guy?" Reiner asks, looking from you to the rather small man with obvious interest.
"I do." You answer matter-of-factly, noticeably tense, as the Captain's gaze falls on you while he jumps from his horse and marches straight towards you.

"Oi, stupid brat. You're coming with me." His demeanour is even more rude than you remember, and the dark circles under his eyes make him look even more terrifying. The cadets whisper, their eyes fixed on the strongest of men. "That's him." You listen to Eren chattering to Armin. "Captain Levi." The blonde boy speaks softly and gives you a suspicious look. He must have noticed the high-ranking soldier's grey eyes on you. It's strange for a cadet to be familiar with the higher ranks. Levi comes closer and holds out his hand to you.
"Are you deaf or something?" His hand wraps around your arm as you pull away, trying to gain a distance from him.
"Shit, stop struggling." The Captain demands, clearly stressed over something unknown to you. You hear the cadets talking in deafening whispers, none of them daring to interrupt your manhandling.
"You can't order me around, I'm not your subordinate!" You complain loudly and stretch out your leg to kick him in the side, but he blocks it easily.
"That's fucking hilarious, Faye." His voice stern and his eyes bored, he grabs your other arm and pins you against the wooden wall behind you.
"Now calm down. I have a few questions." But you don't calm down, you just keep wiggling in his firm grip.
"I've sent Commander Smith all my reports, what's there to talk about with you stupid..." Before you can hurl one of your height-related insults at his head, a loud voice makes everyone but Captain Levi stiffen.
"Levi. Is there a reason for your unannounced visit?" Shadi's words are sharp as he approaches the two of you. He clearly doesn't like the hard man and demands an answer.
"Erwin send me. It's a personal matter." His eyes never leave yours, and while it scares you how much control he's able to exert over you, you can't help but feel captivated by his beautiful orbs.
"Look Captain, I don't know what Erwin has planned with Engel, and frankly I don't care, but I would appreciate it if you would stop mistreating my cadets." With that, Levi lets go of you, causing you to stumble back a little out of breath.
"I need to borrow her, it won't take long." Is all the dark haired man says as he takes your wrist in his surprisingly large hand and leads you away from the group.
"Have you told anyone about the dreams? The memory loss, or how you just spawned out there?" Clearly suspicious that you have broken your promise to the Corps, Levi questions you as he walks away from the wooden building to get some distance. What he's about to discuss with you is a private matter ans should not be overheard by those damn kids.
"No. I haven't even told Shadis, apparently Commander Smith made him think I was some natural talent he found on the street or something." The Captain scoffs and shakes his head in mild amusement, remembering how Erwin had a soft spot for hopeless strays like himself.
"Good." Is all he says and stops abruptly. There's silence and for a moment the two of you just stare at each other. Levi's eyes roam over your form and he makes a mental note of how well you keep yourself together.
"17 years ago, a scout spotted a man just outside the Shiganshina district. He only remembered his name, nothing else. Grisha Yeager." He begins, crossing his arms as he looks at you.
"Three years later he got married and had a son. Eren." You swallow, your eyes wide as your heartbeat increases.
"What?" is the only thing you manage to blur out.
"It was never discovered how he ended up outside the walls. Though it's highly suspicious that the first thing you remember is the name of his only son." He points out, glaring at you. It is a strange coincidence, nothing more.
"So that's it? You are just going to throw your conspiracy theories at me again and make me feel bad about something I have no memory of?" You spit and narrow your eyes, avoiding eye contact to create a new sense of security, as looking at him only seems to break you.
"No, that was just the beginning." He slowly but noticeably draws closer, his hand fidgeting dangerously.
"A few months ago you had a vivid dream about Scout Ilse Langnar, does that ring a bell?" Raising an eyebrow, you give him a quick nod, remembering the damn dream well enough.
"Tell me, what happened in your dream?" The question seems a little off, as if he's testing you. But why? You think for a moment, closing your eyes as you try to come up with an answer.
"Ilse was separated and her ODM equipment was damaged. She ran, looking for safety in titan territory. But it was no use, one of them caught up with her." The Captain raises an eyebrow, clearly anticipating your last words, and after a pause you continue.
"It was an abnormal one. Instead of eating her, it talked. It said something about a lady called Ymir, Ilse was able to write it all down, but unfortunately the titan killed her in the end." This detailed confession leaves Levi stunned and for a while he just stares at you, his eyes wide and his body frozen. Did you say something wrong?
"Did something happen?" You ask uncertainly, uncomfortable with the way he stares at you, as if he's seen a ghost. Levi finds it hard to answer and instead grips both your shoulders tightly.
"A few days after your report reached us, we lost Ilse Langner during an expedition. No one knew what had happened to her. We thought it was strange, how could you have foreseen her possible death, right?" The grip gets harder and he bares his teeth dangerously, frightening you.
"And then yesterday we found her bloody notebook." You swallow, your eyes widening at the realisation.
"What?" You ask, seemingly out of breath, your body tensing slightly. "This can't be happening." You think, whimpering at the thought of having had a prophetic dream. What if your other vivid dreams are also coming true?
"How is that even possible?" Levi rolls his eyes at your words, his hands moving over your shoulder to grasp your collar.
"You tell me." Clear threat in his voice, you try to get some distance between you, but to no avail.
"Captain." You fold your hands, hoping to shake some sense into him. Your relationship has been rocky from the start, and while you have done your best to be polite and pleasant, he still treats you like a threat.
"Cadet." Levi may appear emotionless on the outside, but you can tell he is nothing like that on the inside. People think he's cold, doesn't care, or is just a sadist. While the latter may be true, frankly you don't know, the stoic Captain is certainly no emotionless wreck. Mike told you that Levi was the first of the higher-ups to appear in the chambers when he heard your screams on that eventful night exactly two years ago. The Captain even took you to the nurse and stayed with you the whole of the night. A careless man would not do that for his subordinate.
"You know, that scares me too." You whisper on the verge of tears, leaning into his rough touch that isn't meant to comfort you.
"How many of my dreams could come true? Why does this happen?" Sharing your thoughts with him aloud makes it even more emotional and you let the tears fall, a hiccup leaving your lips.
"I don't even know who I am." The harsh reality of your words hits Levi harder than he thought and he lets go of you immediately, as if he had burned himself. Looking at you, he notices that you look healthier, stronger, but still sleep-deprived and tear stained eyes make you look almost harmless.
"Erwin is going through all your reports, looking for clues as to what might happen next." He explains, and you notice that he has calmed down. It is a good sign, even a sure one.
"The moment he found out about the notebook and Ilse, he lost it. We didn't understand why, but then he showed us your report from months ago..." Levi stops and brushes his hair out of his face.
"Fuck. I don't even believe in that stupid prophetic shit, but this is no coincidence." You nod silently, agreeing with the Captain. It sounds so unreal, the whole ordeal, that you are responsible for the death of a soldier, it makes you feel sick.

"Captain..." You trail off nervously. Your big eyes stare down, avoiding to look at him.
"I've seen so many of our comrades die in my dreams. I can't even imagine..." His interrupting you isn't entirely new to you, after all he never respected you enough to let you finish.
"Then don't." Short and cold, his usual exterior. It's his way of showing you how it's done.
"Don't think too much about it for now, it will only lead you further down this path." Darkness covers his expression and you can see that similar nightmares haunt him. You can't even imagine how many friends and comrades he must have lost over the years.
"The reports mention that you dream about me often. What are they about?" Captain Levi demands to know, making you blush. These dreams are strangely intimate and you wouldn't even dare mention them out loud to anyone.

"Oh. Um... is it important?" While you're clearly embarrassed and feel that he's overstepping your bounds a little, the Captain doesn't seem to notice.
"It is to me. If you can predict death, I'd like to know mine." He shrugs, causing you to roll your eyes.
"I've never seen you die in my dreams." You huff, unimpressed by his attitude.
"Oh, so what do I do in your dreams, hm?" It surprises you to see him in such a playful mood, as if challenging you to say something for his own amusement.
"Ah, let me think?" You say, pretending to be deep in thought for a second.
"Hm, maybe you'll hit me or call me stupid?" Being arrogant with him hasn't helped you in the past, but it's worth it.

"Tch. And I thought I was being too gentle with you." Levi groans and moves his head to the side when he sees you laughing. It's strange, he's never seen you in this mood before; light-hearted and calm, even though the situation is serious. You are also less tense than before, seemingly getting used to him and his harsh nature.
"The training has done you good." The Captain lets his thoughts roll freely over his tongue, his eyes wandering unashamedly over your now relaxed form. "Just checking your condition," he tells himself, trying to ignore the way the belt of your equipment hugs your hips perfectly.
"I suppose. I feel healthier." You comment, cheeks flushing as you cross your hands behind your back.
"Good Cadet. Keep it up, you might even learn to ride." Levi can't help but give you a small, barely perceptible smile as he turns away, not even bothering to wave goodbye.

"Mike never stops talking about you, write to him sometime. The big bastard is getting on my nerves." And with that he leaves you standing there, confused, alone and deep in thought.

Chapter Text

Year 850

If there was one thing you did not see coming, it was being a witness at Eren Yeager's trial, which will determine whether he lives or dies. You did not actually see him turn into one of those monsters, but your dreams clearly predicted the outcome years ago. How this is possible you don't know, but a personal letter from the Commander of the Survey Corps himself made it clear that your testimony in this case is needed to help Eren. The trial starts in an hour, and you're currently waiting for Smith in front of a makeshift office, anxiously fidgeting with your fingers, a habit you've learned to adopt whenever you need to. It helps you clear bad thoughts from your already clouded mind. While you try to concentrate, you find yourself drifting off somewhere else, right into the world of your visions. Some of them have already come true, and others are just confusing you. The incident with Ile's notebook was the worst so far, the others are barely worth mentioning. Footsteps make you look up and when you see two figures, one smaller than the other, walking directly towards you, you stand up instantly and salute the men.

"Commander, Captain." You greet them, your body stiff and ready to follow their lead.
"Faye. At ease." Erwin smiles warmly and puts a hand on your shoulder, pointing to his office. The other, smaller man is Captain Levi, and you can't help but notice that he looks even more tired than the last time you saw him, which was about a year ago.
"Please, have a seat." The blonde offers, and you gladly accept, looking around with interest. The people in the inner districts must have a good life, considering how well furnished this small room is. Levi is more reserved than usual, simply keeping his arms crossed as he leans against the wall closest to the window, just behind Erwin's desk, and looks out at the farmers with disinterest.
"You look well, has the Trainee Corps treated you well, my dear?" The Commander asks, a charming smile on his attractive face. With that kind of charisma he could certainly influence his soldiers to the point of death, but you learned to be very careful with him, as he was with you.
"It was a challenge, but I managed." Short and simple, he'll be happy with that.
"Great. You're a smart young woman now. I'm sure you know why I asked you to attend Eren Yeager's trial." He's straight to the point, his smile slowly turning into a thin line.
"Yes, although I wonder how credible my testimony will be." You admit and meet the Captain's eyes, who quickly looks away, only letting out a soft sigh.

"Don't worry about it. I told Zackly about you and your talents months before the recent events. He's a bit sceptical, but he doesn't reject the idea that you're something special." You'd like throwing up, feeling the sickness overtake you.
"I'm not special." You spit a little hatefully and stare at him with a deep frown that would challenge Ymirs.
"But you are, don't you see?" You turn your attention to the Captain, frustrated by his words that seem to mock you. It would be strange to think that the great Captain Levi sees you as something special.
"No I can't Captain, why don't you enlighten me as to how I am special?" Your teasing encourages Erwin to roll his eyes as he leans back in his seat.
"Oh, I don't know, Cadet, maybe because you can fucking see death! What are you, a banshee?" He's angry at your myopic view of yourself, and clenches his hands into fists. You rise from your seat and glare at the Captain with hatred, trying to ignore the boiling rage in your gut. Remembering the last time you saw him, you feel a sickening sensation in your stomach. While he treated you with violence, the two of you eventually bonded over your shared confusion about yourself. All that seems gone now, and you wonder what the dark-haired man might think of you. He was the one who brought you to the safety of the walls, the one who cared for you after a night's attack. But Captain Levi is also the one who suspected you of being a potential threat. The chaos of his actions and thoughts makes you feel absurd and different from him.

"Faye. Why don't you sit down? And Levi, please don't provoke her, it's unnecessary." Commander Erwin speaks up, clearly demanding a peaceful conversation in his working environment. You do as he says and let yourself fall back into the wooden chair, your eyes moving from Captain Levi to the Commander.
"I wasn't aware that you felt that way. I hope you understand that you are special from our point of view." His words catch your eye, and while you don't like the idea of being seen that way, you nod your head in silent agreement.
"Now that we have discussed this matter, I would like to talk to you about the trial. The heads of the other departments have been informed of your situation." As you close your eyes, your current situation hits you. You'd been more comfortable with the fact that only the Survey Corps and a few other higher-ups knew about you. Within a few hours, everyone would know, even your fellow cadets. Would they hate you? Not trust you?
"You're the second case found outside the walls, if I were you I wouldn't mention it. Most of us didn't even know about Grisha Yeager anyway, I'm sure the others won't either". You agree, knowing it won't help your case at all.
"What if they don't trust or believe me, what if they want to execute me?" Her question lingers in the room, and it is quiet enough to hear a needle drop.
"Tch. They won't. Stop being stupid." Levi reassures you in his own way, though it should turn out that your concerns are eligible.

━━━━━━━༺ - ༻━━━━━━━

Whispers make their way through the crowd as Commander Erwin introduces you to the military, deeply suspicious looks hanging on you as you step forward, fingers trembling with nervousness.
"Cadet Faye Engel. Is it true that you predicted Eren Yeager's transformation into a Titan?" You jump at the harshness of Commander Nile Doks voice.
"I dreamed it." You neither confirm nor deny his accusation, hoping for a better outcome for both Eren and yourself. "
You documented all these dreams and sent monthly reports to Commander Smith. Did you write down every dream you had?" He asks, looking at you as if you were his prey.
"I did, the Commander told me to." You say simply, and get a strange feeling as the Commander smiles triumphantly and picks up something that one of his soldiers has given him. A diary, wrapped in a brown leather cover. Your eyes widen in recognition at the dream journal; your dream journal, to be exact. Someone must have broken into your quarters after you arrived this morning and left to have breakfast with Armin and Mikasa. Before you can ask how he got hold of your personal belongings, he begins to speak in a loud and clear voice.

"This is Cadet Engel's dream journal. We configured it and noticed that she clearly left out some of her dreams." Erwin, who is standing right next to you, gives you an angry look, clearly displeased with you. "What did she leave out?" Erwin asks, giving Nile a stern look. At the MP's next words, your face blushes a deep red.
"The death of fellow soldiers, how it looks outside the walls and sexual fantasies about your Captain and Section Commander." The room falls silent and you notice the man next to you stiffen. Captain Levi looks straight ahead, his bitter face barely showing any form of emotion.
"I could care less. And frankly, I don't see the need to humiliate a cadet in front of the entire court." You are surprised to see Erwin come to your defense, considering the way he looked at you just a few seconds ago.

"A witch!" The priest of the wall church shouts, pointing at you, completely ignoring the words of the scout commander.
"Don't you see? She has been summoned by the evil that created the Titans! Sent to lure us out with her pretty face." Your body tenses, you shrink under the eyes of all the men watching you.
"She will seduce the Captain and Section Commander. No doubt using them to stab us all in the back." You swallow, scowling at how ridiculous that sounds.
"Nice conspiracy theory you've got there." Levi simply comments, rolling his eyes at the madman of your opposite number. He seems to completely ignore the fact that you had dreamed of him in an unbecoming way. "She needs to be hanged!" Clear accusations in all their glory. You stand next to Levi, who nudges you to the side, telling you to stand tall and proud. "They'll tear you apart if you don't." He explains curtly, looking straight at Eren, whose body is crouched and tied to a pole in the middle of the cord room. "I'm not a witch." You spit and look at the pastor with a rigid gleam in your eyes, making him shut up for a second, too stunned to speak.

"I'm from the Shiganshina district, I saw it fall and people being torn in half! How dare you accuse me of such nonsense when you were in the luxurious district of Mitras while my family died out there!" You raise your voice, lean over the railing and point at Eren.
"This boy has seen things you can't even dream of. And you all call for his death as if his life meant nothing. He is human too, damn it!" A hand on your shoulder makes you gasp, and you turn your head towards the black-haired Captain, who tries to calm you down, but only gives you a small nod. You have to take a deep breath, your hands clenched into fists as you stop yourself from saying more. It would be foolish to let your emotions get the better of you, especially because of the misconceptions these men have about women. If you speak your thoughts, you're hysterical, but if a man does, he's considered rational.
"Human?" Commander Nile Dok speaks up, picking up a piece of paper to read.
"Eren Yeager and Mikasa Ackerman were nine years old when they murdered three kidnappers." A crumble breaks through the courtroom and you notice Erwin's eyebrows turn into a deep frown, clear frustration written all over his face. You didn't know that Eren and Mikasa had to go through this at the age of nine, it must have been terrible.
"You all call it justified self-defense, but I can't help but be disturbed by the fundamental lack of humanity in their actions." You winced at that, baring your teeth at the Commander from a distance. You hate that man, he's only provoking the soldiers more than necessary.

After the trial you listen to Eren's defense and even smile a little when he calls the members of the military police "cowards". He's right, and after seeing their behavior today, you'll regret ever thinking of joining them. When one of the MP's points his rifle at Eren, your smile quickly fades. You barely notice Captain Levi leaving your side, only looking up in confusion when you see him walking at a fast pace in Eren's direction. Is he going to help him? Protect him? Raising an eyebrow, you look at Erwin, whose attention is focused on the Captain, a small glimmer of hope in your eyes. The moment you look back at Eren, a gasp escapes you as the captain lifts his leg and kicks the boy right in the face. A bloodied tooth flies out of Eren's mouth and lands on the floor, but the black-haired bastard doesn't stop there. He continues to kick and punch Yeager with no remorse, causing Mikasa to lose her temper. If Armin hadn't held her back and reassured her that she should just watch, you can be sure she would have jumped into action. "You know personally, I think nothing instills discipline like pain. You don't need a good talking to. What you are in need of boy is to be taught a lesson." Eren's breath is heavy and infrequent, the Captain's booted foot on his head keeps him from moving. You can't help but to notice that Captain Levi must have held back on you all this years ago. "And you happen to be in perfect kicking position." As he continues, you look away, finding the way he mistreats his subordinates is disgusting. Surely there must be a reasoning behind his cruel acts of violence.

"Hold on Levi." Commander Dok demands, looking as shocked and scared as the others.
"What is it?" He moves away from Eren, glaring at the Commander with nothing but disdain for the man. "It's dangerous. What if he gets angry and turns into a titan?" Nile tries to reason with the harsh man, not once taking his attention from the titan shifter in fear he might miss something. Instead of stopping, Levi kicks the poor boy once more, grabbing him by the hair. His face is swollen and blood trenches his skin, it's a horrible sight.
"Don't be silly. Afterall, you guys just wanted to dissect him, don't you." Baffled you realize the reason behind his gruel beating. The Captain wants to prove a point. He makes a point at mentioning Eren's titan kill count during his transformed moment and him being an intelligent enemy. He also states to be able to take him down himself.
"How many of you can say the same? Before you torment the beast you'd better think. Can you actually kill him." The obvious answer is no and seeing it written all over their faces truly makes you think how strong the Captain really is. Erwin offers his proposition, offering to take Eren under Captain Levi's supervision and will take part in the next mission.
"What if he loses control?" Zackly, the general, asks with interest. So far he has been nothing but neutral and obedient, which you really appreciate. He even listened patiently to your testimony, though the way his old eyes lingered on you was unsettling. Levi shrugs his shoulders and offers to kill Eren if things go wrong. With this promise, Zackly decides to leave Eren Yeager in the care of the Survey Corps, and while everyone believes this unexpected outcome to be the end, everything freezes in surprise as he gives another direct order.

"Cadet Faye Engel will be transferred to the Survey Corps immediately. If she can predict the future, I want her close to Yeager as an extra security measure." You certainly didn't expect this. A little worried you move closer to the Commander, hoping that he at least knew about this possible outcome, but he seems to be as baffled as you are. "Gladly, General." Erwin speaks in a loud voice and before you know it he is pushing you out of the courtroom, not even giving you a chance to say goodbye to your friends.
"Commander, what..." the blonde ignores you and turns to his soldiers.
"Release Yeager and take him to Hanges' office. We'll meet there in five minutes." Erwin demands, his hand not even touching your shoulder as he continues to lead you forward, away from the courtyard.
"Get me Mike and Levi." You can tell he's stressed, maybe even a little exhilarated. He hadn't planned to have you under his command so soon, things would have to be rearranged now.
"Yes, sir!" The scouts drift off, running in two different directions. The tension is palpable as Erwin holds you in his tracks, moving you to his liking so that your body is facing him.
"You will be part of Mike's squad from now on. I may have to make some changes, but it's important that you stay close to Eren. Do you understand, Faye?" Nodding their heads, the two of them exchange glances and you could swear that a hint of mad fascination is growing in them.

"Don't gamble with your life. Yours may be of much more importance than we suspect at the moment." You raise an eyebrow, wondering why you of all people would be so careless with yourself, but his answer is cut short when Mike and Levi catch his attention. Only now do you notice their absurd height difference. You look at Mike, a smile on your face as the man reaches out to take your hand. A small giggle escapes you as he takes it to his hand and plants a small kiss on the back of it.
"Cadet Engel. Is it possible that you've become even more beautiful over the years?" He wonders, his voice deep and calm as he grins at your deep red face. Feeling completely nervous and overwhelmed, you stammer your words, causing Levi to roll his eyes, looking like an angry hound compared to Mike.
"She's gotten older Mike, she's probably even legal now. Your attempt to flirt with a girl is sad." The Captain mumbles to himself, catching only a frustrated side-eye from the taller soldier.
"I've been legal for a long time and a woman, not a girl. I know for a fact that I'm 23." You sass back, relying only on your dreams for the truth of that statement. "
Are you sure? Your nasty fantasies don't sound very mature to me." Flinching, you pull your hand away from Mike's to confront Levi, but Erwin immediately de-escalates the situation.
"Now, now. We are in public. You can discuss your mutual disgust or adoration for each other later." The Commander demands, turning on his heel to walk past his commanding soldiers and cadet.
"Our focus is now on Eren and Faye, I have a change of plan I would like to discuss with you all. Considering that Zackly has given me a second ace, I want to keep them both close and well protected."

Erwin Smith is a good commander, perhaps even a respectable man, but you can tell there is a dark desire deep in his heart. Wants and needs he wants to fulfill, and you may be a part of it. As you follow his lead, Mike bends down to your level and whispers something in your ear that sends a shiver down your spine.
"I don't care what they say, little cadet. I am honored to be an object of desire in your dreams."

Chapter Text

Your eyes glow green as they reflect the leaves above your head. It's a beautiful day, sunny, warm and full of life. Summer days inside the walls are always a little cooler, the height of the stone walls preventing the sun from warming certain areas. Outside it is hotter, if you are not in a deep forest that is. You are surrounded by trees, including giant ones. They challenge the height of the titans and overgrow them with ease. The 57th expedition outside the walls is unlike anything you could have imagined. It's nothing like the day the scouts found you, when it was raining and cloudy and the ground was full of mut. Today, on the other hand, is a beautiful day, and it's hard to imagine how many soldiers you've already lost. Of course you predicted this outcome, but did the Commander listen to you? Well, yes, but he didn't care.

You spent the month before this day in the old headquarters of the Scout Regiment, training with your new Squad Leader Mike to be a good soldier for your first mission. Because of your orders to stay close to Eren, Mike had to go to the old castle with you and squad Levi, the special operation squad. It is located somewhere in the countryside of wall Rose. When you first arrived, Captain Levi had you all clean it, making sure that every bit of dust was gone by the end of the week. While you shared a room with his subordinate, Petra Ral, Eren had to sleep in the basement. A cruel treatment, but the Captain's reasoning was to keep you all safe in case the brat transformed.
"With your attitude, maybe you should sleep down there, too." He informed you after you complained about having to clean his personal quarters. It was clear that he was still uncomfortable with what you had written in your diary. Understandable, but he still took his frustration out on you. He made your training and your stay at the castle a living hell.

For Section Commander Mike, the whole ordeal seemed like a holiday; when he wasn't training you, he spent most of his time relaxing under a cherry tree, causing Levi to complain that he was lazy. You found out about Mike's secret spot when you were sent to pick the cherries from said tree, a big smile on your face when you spotted him slumbering under the branches. You'd probably remember that day for a while, as it happened that you collected very little of the sweet fruit. Your squad leader insisted on helping you, even lifting you up on his shoulders so that you could reach the highest fruits. He wanted to keep things professional, which you respected and agreed to, but in the end things didn't go as planned.
It was something you didn't foresee, as he grabbed your hips and moved you against the trunk. A spark exploded in your gut, as your lips met in a heated and rushed kiss, while your hands entangled in his blonde hair. Mike being way taller than you struggled to get you closer and the both of you stumbled over and giggled at the accident. While it felt forbidden to be this close to your leader, the temptation was too big, not only for you but for Mike as well. Having his little mysterious subordinate all to himself simply irks all the right urges in him. The fact that Erwin obviously turns a blind eye to you makes things even better.
There is a catch to it though, and Erwin Smith certainly would want to know every little detail of what you share to his good friend and Section Commander. He uses Mike in hopes to control you and frankly you believe this manipulative tactic to be nothing but unfair towards his soldier. Still you enjoy the closeness and the way he makes you feel. Desired and loved, something you can't remember to have felt once in your life.

Right now, you wish the month wasn't over so soon, that you had more time with the one man who doesn't look at you with suspicion or sick fascination. The Captain has made his dislike of you abundantly clear, and this has encouraged his subordinates to dislike you as well. Except for Eld, who likes to remind you that he was the one who tripped over you out there. Apart from him, Petra is decent enough to treat you like her other comrades and Eren seems to be relieved about your presence as well. The fact that you took the trouble to defend him in court seems to have really touched him. He wasn't even upset that you kept your little secrets to yourself. All the other soldiers, even your new squad mates, seem to be careful around you, polite but clearly concerned. Nanaba is nice, but Henning didn't even say hello to you the day you were introduced. You haven't really spoken to him since. Gelgar has been nothing but polite so far, although he had a particularly negative opinion of you when he was drunk. Thomas and Lynne both tried to have at least a decent conversation with you, there is not much to say about them except that they tried to welcome you.

"Get into position." Erwin explains, making you look up in surprise. You've been in this spot for a good hour, standing on a branch in the middle of nowhere, waiting for comments. It's certainly not how you expected your first expedition to be. For a while, the action of doing nothing but waiting has been boring you, but something seems to be happening, the rumbling in the distance makes that clear. It's getting closer, and from your current position you can easily see what's making the earth shake. A titan, but this one is different. It's much taller, muscular instead of plump, and it's fast. No skin, just muscles and what appears to be blonde hair. It looks almost female. A shiver of fear runs down your spine as you notice a group of scouts riding in your direction, followed, no, hunted by the female titan. You saw her in a dream a few days ago and told Erwin about it. You hadn't imagined that she would actually appear. She must be like Eren, a human who can transform into an intelligent titan. You thought that the colossal and armoured titan must be like her too, which makes the thought of what they did even worse.

You saw them attack the Trost district a month ago and watched your comrades die. Marco Bott, a cadet in your training corps and one of the top ten, died that day. He was a ray of sunshine, always happy, always friendly. Jean and you carried his body to the pile of others, half of his face torn up and eaten. You threw up after that, even though you remembered his death as a scenario from your dreams. You swallowed, the mere thought of it making you sick. Levi called you a banshee, maybe there is some truth in that.

As the Titan approaches, you can see the soldiers' faces, a worried look on your face as you position yourself in front of the cannon, something developed by Section Commander Hange Zoë to catch Titans. A genius, a bit nuts, but definitely useful for the Corps.

"Okay, are you ready?" Lynne catches your attention as she turns her head to look at you. The kind woman has loaded the machine, making it ready to fire. Mike ordered her to stay close to you while your other squad mates are at the outskirts of the forest.
"Yeah." You exhale, nodding your head as you grip the wooden lever with your hands, a palpable fear rising in you as the titan approaches. Lynne takes the other and looks up at Erwin, waiting for his comment. You do too, feeling anxious about your task, afraid that you might mess something up. The titan is now at your level, her eyes focused on her prey below, but then they move up to you and meet yours. Hers are blue, the colour of the sea to be exact. You have seen the sea in your dreams, and you have surely been told stories about it when you were a child. When you told Reiner about it, he just laughed at you, telling you that it's ridiculous that the whole world is covered by big salty lakes. Something seemed wrong with him, he looked stressed and you almost forgot that you had had this discussion with him int the first place. How odd. Seeing those big blue eyes in front of you made you remember, for whatever reason. Your breath caught in your throat and at that moment the Commander gave his order, causing you to immediately pull the wooden lever.

Within moments, the titan is pinned to her spot, spikes with strings running through her body holding her in place as everyone stares at her; eyes wide open and mouths agape. It's nothing new for the Corps to capture a Titan, but this abnormal, intelligent one is different. It sickens you to the bone that a fellow member of the military, a traitor, is hiding in there. While you take a moment to think about who might be in there, something about her strikes you as odd, as if you should know her. The blonde hair and the way it falls over her face, covering those mysterious eyes, is similar, and even the way she runs towards you at full speed reminds you of someone. It is the ocean eyes that get you though, they look almost exactly like –

A shaky breath escapes you at the realisation as you connect the dots. It even matches a strange dream you have had. You were never able to fully understand it, but now it makes sense.
"Are you all right?" Lynne calls to you, putting a hand on your shoulder. She has always taken care of those around her. You flinch and pull away, looking at her wide-eyed.
"I think I know who's in there." The sentence is out of your mouth before you're already on your way, ODM in hand, making your way to the tree Commander Erwin is standing on in a hurry, leaving your friend stunned and at a loss for words. As you dash in his direction, something, or rather someone, almost crashes into you.

"Oi-" You would recognise that angry voice anywhere, as you notice Levi dashing by your side, skilfully landing on Erwin's branch as you almost tumble over it.
"Watch where you are going. Who gave you the green light for 3D manoeuvres anyway?" Captain Levi bites, belittling you once again. Blushing, you turn to Erwin, who seems to be deep in thought.
"Commander -" But your words are cut short as Levi speaks over you in a commanding voice.
"Looks like it's immobilised." He grunts, staring at the titan with disinterest. "It's a she. You think, rolling your eyes at the man's ignorance. Their conversation continues, making you angry at being completely ignored by the Commander when you were there first.
"I'm sorry Commander, but this is more important!" You raise your voice, drawing the attention of both Erwin and Levi. The black-haired soldiers look dark at your disrespect, furry taking over their features.

"What was that, you little..."
"I know who's in there!" You break the news, causing Levi to actually stop talking.
"What are you going to do now?" Levi asks instead as you try to find your composure.
"Her name is Cadet Annie Leonhardt. She joined the Military Police and was with me in the 104th Training Division." You are quite confident in your assumption, there are just too many coincidences.
"What makes you so sure?" Erwin asks, his full attention on you, his eyebrows raised. It's not that he doubts you, he suspects members who joined the military five years ago or less anyway.
"It's the way she ran and used that kick to knock down the soldiers. I have never seen a fighting style like that before, except from her." You look at the tall creature with narrowed eyes. "There was recognition in her eyes when she saw me in the tree." Pointing to her hair, you add. "Besides, this titan looks way too much like her." Erwin studies her for a while with an expression that even Captain Levi can't read. It's unlike anything he's ever seen.
"I'll cut her out then. Let's hope she hasn't shit her pants." Levi pulls his blade from its sheath and prepares to attack, but his friend stops him.
"Wait, Levi. An eye for an eye." He speaks loud and clear, referring to his fallen soldiers.
"Waves two and clear, fire!" He commands in a loud voice, holding up his own wendling blade and demanding that the replacements be shot. It would definitely secure them for good.

After the two waves, Erwin gestures for Mike and Levi to attack the titan, telling you to stay with him. The two of you watch as she slashes through the air with her ODMs, the blades ready to slice through the muscles of her neck, which is covered by her large hands. You notice something changing in their texture and color and watch wide-eyed as their blades shatter into a thousand little pieces.
"Was that the hardening ability you mentioned in your journal?" Erwin asks, looking from the Titans' hands down to you.
"I think so. It looks like it." You reply, watching as Mike lands on a nearby tree, shaking his head in defeat. Erwin nods, another shoulder at his side, and you recognise him as part of Erwin's squad. He tells him to prepare the explosives so they can clear her neck properly. The soldier explains that it could cause damage to her insides, making you cringe at the thought of potentially killing her. The Commander plans to blow off her wrists, hoping he won't kill her. Right now, she could be the key to all their secrets.

While they prepare the explosives, you notice Levi standing on her head, poking her with his food. You can't hear what he's saying, just see the movement of his mouth. The image is familiar, far too familiar. Eyes wide with realization, you call out to Captain Levi, telling him to stop. You know what will happen next and you must stop it.
"What..." he starts, glaring at you angrily from a distance, but it's already too late. A shrill, high-pitched scream breaks through the trees, its power making you instantly close your ears with your palms. The wave of her sound hits you, swirling the dirt and debris on the ground. Dizziness overcomes you as you slowly sink to your knees on the branch, holding your head as pain hits your temples.

This can't possibly be the sound of her scream alone, no, you've felt that before, whenever a wave of visions or hit you. But this one is different, it feels more intense, it makes your body shake while blood drips down your nose. This is not normal, not that these damned visions and premonitions were ever considered normal. Your hand reaches for Erwin's cloak as you pull on it, drawing his attention. When his eyes land on you, they instantly widen, and for a second you don't even know why. Within seconds, he's leaning forward and reaching for your hand, but he's not quick enough.
A moment ago, there was hard wood under your knees, keeping you safe and secure at altitude, but now there is nothing. Your vision blurs as you fall in what feels like slow motion. You don't notice the shocked cries of your comrades, or that you're still holding Erwin's green cloak, the one you tore from his shoulders when you lost control of your own body. Suddenly there is nothing but darkness, and the last thing you feel is a pair of hands reaching out to you, holding you.

Levi hugs your body against his chest as he lands on his side with a grunt, pain shooting through his shoulder and arm. He reacted so quickly that not even Levi himself understands how he managed to catch you in time. His wire is still tangled in the tree above him, while his controls are spread out at his sides. As his eyes sweep over yours, he catches a familiar sight. Your body is shaking in his grasp as your mouth is wide open, not a sound coming from it. Blood runs down your nose, staining your pale skin red. Your eyes are rolled back as tears stream down your cheeks. Levi stands up, holding you in his grip as Mike joins him after a few seconds, running to your side.
"What's wrong?" He asks worriedly, practically ripping you from the Captain's grasp. Levi's teeth show as he locks eyes with the Section Commander.
"It looks like the attack she had years ago. Although she was fast asleep when it happened." He explains and turns back to the female titan, looking at her with slitted eyes.
"It's almost as if that bitch triggered the attack in her." The Captain mumbles to himself, turning to face Mike as he notices the ground shaking beneath his boots.
"Take care of her. Looks like our friend here has called for reinforcements." Levi gestures at the humanoid creature that must be a cadet. Behind her still immobile body, a good docent of the Titans is running towards her, almost as if to attack her. This whole situation has become even stranger, and Levi doesn't like it one bit.

You wake up an hour later in a carriage with another injured soldier, your eyes watering as you take a deep breath. It's almost as if the air is burning your lungs as you look up at the sky, the sun blinding your teary eyes.
"Section Commander! Engel is awake!" You turn your head to Lynne and see her worried, yet relieved reaction when she sees you're awake.
"Where is the Captain?" You ask her, your voice hoarse and raspy as you sit up, much to the dismay of your squad mates.
"Faye, please stay! Don't..." But you won't listen, this is more important than your health. What you have seen will mean the difference between life and death.
You stumble out of the carriage and into the high grass, looking around, ignoring the way Section Commander Mike rushes to your side, stumbling across the open field, eyes widening as you notice the black-haired man towering over something.
"Captain!" You scream, shaking Mike's hand off as he tries to stop you from reaching the man, the strongest soldier of humanity, who saved your life. He belongs to you, you need to tell him that his squad is in danger. The man in question turns his head, his face contorted with pain and grief, and as you reach him your words die in your throat.
"I had a vision, your squad..." It feels like something is tightening around your chest, squeezing your lungs and heart as your eyes fall from him to the body in front of him. Strawberry red hair is sprawled across a white sheet, glistening in the sun. Her face, however, is lifeless, her eyes open and dead as they stare into the void. Her body is stiff and broken, while a thin line of dried blood marks the side of her face. Petra is dead, which means his other subordinates must be too.

"Yes. Dead." Captain Levi speaks coldly, his deep eyes haunting you as you lock eyes with him.
"I'm sorry." You say in a shaky voice and take a step back to give him the space he needs.
"You were right all along. I'm a useless idiot. Foreseeing fucking death is the only thing I'm good at, and yet -" He watches the tears run down your heated cheeks, not saying a word as he lets you insult yourself.
"And yet I still couldn't save them." You sob and turn to leave as your Section Commander catches up with you, placing a warm hand on your shoulder to comfort you. Captain Levi is speechless, turning to face your back as he looks from you into Petra's empty eyes.
"Even if you had awakened from your vision earlier -" he begins, covering his subordinate's face with the cloth. "None of us would have been quick enough to save her." His voice becomes strained as he takes the cloth from Petra Ral's chest, squeezing it gently in his hand as he closes his eyes for a moment.

"But maybe one day you will be fast enough. Who knows, maybe you'll save mine once, wouldn't that be ironic?" With that, he covers the rest of the cold body, stands up and leaves her side for good. You feel Mike's hand squeeze your shoulder as he gently leads you away from the line of bodies, and you can't help but wonder when your turn will come. When will you end up like them? Broken, eaten and dead.

Chapter Text

Armin Alert had the same suspicions about Annie Leonhardt as you did. Erwin couldn't ignore that: two of his soldiers, one more intelligent than the other, were accusing one of their comrades. This, and the fact that he believes in your unusual talent, has made Erwin Smith, 13th Commander of the Survey Corps, decide to plan the Assault on Stohess. The other problem is the cadets of the 104th Division. If it turns out that Cadet Leonhardt is indeed the traitor, there is a good chance that at least two other cadets are as well. Which is why he sent them to wall Rose under the supervision of none other than Section Commander Mike Zacharias. Not just to watch them, but to watch you too. Erwin wouldn't say it out loud, but he thinks you're suspicious. While he doesn't think you're lying about your memory loss and visions, after what happened to you on the expedition it would be idiotic not to.

Sure, the signs point to you being from wall Maria, maybe Shiganshina, but what if those were other visions of yours? He has reasons to believe you're not from here, it's the way you talk about certain things, like the ocean. Not many have heard of it, it's an unspoken concept that few seem to know about. Like his own father. In the end, it was that knowledge that killed him. He overheard you talking about it once with the Arlert boy, and while the Cadet's eyes were bright with hope, yours were filled with knowledge. You knew it existed, you saw it, and you don't remember it. He has more reason to believe you are from outside the walls. He remembers it clearly, it was the first time the two of you spoke, and he felt a little strange about that particular phrase at the time. "What if I'm from outside your walls?" He had soldiers with memory loss, but none of them would go so far as to lose that kind of memory. Another thing that made even Mike question you was when you said "I think I left school when I was 14". If you really were from wall Maria, there was no way you could have stayed in school until you were 14. The maximum age is 12, only kids from Sina have the luxury of staying longer. And you can't be from Sina, because if you were, someone would have reported you missing. The only others who know his thoughts are Levi, Hange and Mike, which is why he placed you in one of their squads.
He knows that using Mike to bait you is technically considered unethical, but Erwin has the greater good in the picture and if that included exploiting you for humanity to gain freedom he wouldn't care. It's as simple as that. Plus, he feels better about the fact that Mike does have an affection for you and has taken a liking to your gentle nature. Gentle not in the way you talk, you certainly speak your mind when needed, but rather how you treat yourself and others. Or the way you took care of your gear and uniform. He's surprised that Levi hasn't noticed your love for perfection, perhaps his dislike for you has blinded his sharp senses, or so he likes to believe. Erwin looks from the window of the office to Levi, their eyes meeting in the middle. The Commander can't help but to wonder if Levi truly feels nothing but disdain for you, he has seen the way his Captain looked at you, full of longing and obsession.

"What is it?" Levi asks, his arms crossed defensively, and his eyebrows raised.
"Faye told me the outcome of today's events. We're going to capture the female titan." He finally says, revealing a piece of information he hasn't shared with anyone yet.
"So that's why you were so positive." Levi looks at him with a bit of mockery, his lips curled into a tight smile.
"I know you like to gamble, but taking such a big risk just because the girl you fancy has dreamed of it is ridiculous." Erwin winces at the harsh words and gives his comrade a hard look.
"I don't fancy her." Erwin explains in a gruff voice as he frowns at the accusation.
"But Mike does. Would you turn a blind eye if I took a cadet as a plaything for myself?" Levi asks provocatively, something in his eyes glimmering with a hint of jealousy. Erwin tries to keep his composure, smiling instead of frowning at the question.
"Why? Are you interested in someone in particular?" He asks, a dark glint in his blue eyes as he sees Levi look away, ashamed, even uncomfortable.
"Tch. Don't be ridiculous." He spits in disgust, as if it wasn't natural for a human to want the affection and love of another. The conversation ends there, leaving Levi deep in thought. "Is there someone out there?" he wonders as he leaves the office, groaning in pain as he takes another step.

You giggle as Mike pulls you through the empty corridors, a grin on his own face. You've been in the small HQ outpost for two days and it's been nothing but boring. At least you had a chance to meet up with your reunited comrades from the trainee corps and chat with them about what has happened so far. Reiner, who's been most interested in your visions, has been asking you about them incessantly; you thought it was because he's afraid of a possible tragic outcome. Your Section Commander also felt a bit bored, although they all deserved a break after the expedition, and if observing them was the only condition for that, then so be it.

"But Section Commander, we-" you cry as he pulls you into his chest, hugging you against him as he leans his body against the wall.
"Quiet. You don't want them to hear us, do you?" He tilts his head, looking down at you with a mocking smile.
"No. But..." he doesn't let you finish, taking your chin between his fingers and pulls you into a heated kiss, his eyes closed while yours are still open in surprise, though you quickly melt into his touch, enjoying the intimate moment. He turns his body, changing the position to suit him as your back is pressed against the wall, his hips hungrily grinding down your torso with ease. The way Mike's lips leave yours, only to plant themselves on your neck seconds later, makes you shiver, a hot sensation consuming your stomach as you respond with a breathless sound. You are so lost in the moment of pleasure that you almost forget the whole situation. This scenario is strangely familiar, but not in a good way. "Has Mike ever touched me like this before?" You ask yourself, a frown slowly taking over your features as your senses begin to pull you back. 'Was it one of my dreams? The amusement quickly fades as a sickening realization rips you completely out of the moment and makes you push your Section Commander away.

Mike Zacharias opens his eyes in a drunken haze as he notices your frightened expression.
"Are you okay?" He asks worriedly, wondering if he has overstepped your boundaries without realizing it. But something about your expression has him in a stranglehold. The way your eyes fill with tears frightens him a little too, as he takes a step back, his heart aching at the sight of you.
"Titans." Is the only thing that leaves your lips, making him raise an eyebrow.
"Titans?" Zacharias repeats, confused as to why you thought of them now. He's patient, but still a little worried, there must be something wrong, maybe another vision.
"They will breach the walls." You both know it's true, he's learnt to trust your visions by now, that's why he pulls himself together so quickly, his face darkening at the information.
"When?" Your Section Commander demands to know, ready to die if necessary.
"Any time. But Mike..." You try to grab his hand as he turns to leave, feeling it slip from your fingers. It's almost as if his life is passing through them and you can't stop it, can't do anything about it.
"No wait..." Running after him is almost impossible, his long legs carrying him through the corridors leading up to the Watchtower. This time I'll be faster than fate,' you promise yourself, running up the stairs after him. This time I'll outrun it.

Running up the stairs, you finally catch up with him, his eyes staring into the distance as if trying to make out the shape of something. The wind blows around them as he smells it, the glare deepening.
"What is it, Mike?" Nanaba asks, curious at the sudden appearance of her Section Commander.
"Thomas, ride out of here. Take three couriers and Faye with you. Inform the districts, Wall Rose has been breached." Nanaba gasps and looks at Faye with a mixture of shock and disbelief, clearly suspecting her visions.
"The chances of Titans hiding in the 104th Cadet Corps are slim." He mumbles, clenching his hand into a fist as he turns his head towards you and stares at you in despair.
"Go with Thomas. It's not safe here." Mike's voice is harsh as he pushes you and stares at you, making you take a cautious step down.
"Mike, no, you'll get away if I don't..." He cringes as he takes your shoulders and looks down at you.
"And so will you if you stay here." His voice is hushed as his bullets move from you to your comrade.
"Take her to Erwin, guard her with your life." Thomas salutes, taking you by the wrist as he leads you to the fly, tears running down her cheeks as she catches her breath.

"Please Thomas, Mike will die if you don't let me help him." You plead with the older soldier, trying to pull your wrist from his tight grip. He stops for a second, his eyes fixed straight ahead.
"No. I have orders." He breathes, a stressed expression on his face as you both reach the stable. Even the horses seem troubled, as if they feel the presence of death approaching. You understand why Thomas is afraid, but you don't blame him. Perhaps you could trick him and turn back before he notices. You put the brown leather saddle on your horses' backs and quickly lead them out of the stable, following your comrade.
"Stay calm, Sonne." You say, stroking her white hair, hoping to calm her a little. On your first expedition, Sonne was accidentally hit by a smoke grenade. That encounter must have frightened your horse a little, seeing how she reacts to the Titans in the distance.
As you leave the wooden stables, your comrades and friends from the 104th enter, and you can see from their faces that they must have been informed of the breach.
"Faye!" Sasha cries, running to grab your shoulder and shake you.
"Please tell me I'm not going to die!" Her voice is loud and obviously frightened, her brown eyes wide as she tightens her grip. You smile reassuringly, pretty sure you haven't seen her die before.
"No, don't worry -" the next person to barricade you is Connie, pulling on your arm in panic.
"What about me?" You'd like to answer all these questions, but now is not the time. It takes both Reiner and Thomas to free you from their grasp, an overwhelming feeling in your gut at the whole situation.

As you leave the wooden stables, your comrades, and friends of the 104th enter and you can see from their faces that they must have been informed of the breach.
"Faye!" Sasha cries, running to grab your shoulder and shake you.
"Please tell me I'm not going to die!" Her voice is loud and obviously frightened, her brown eyes wide as she tightens her grip. You smile reassuringly, pretty sure you haven't seen her die before.
"No, don't worry -" the next person to barricade you is Connie, pulling on your arm in panic.
"What about me?" You'd like to answer all these questions, but now is not the time. It takes both Reiner and Thomas to free you from their grasp, an overwhelming feeling in your gut at the whole situation.

"Good luck, guys." You wave after them and hop onto Sonne's back, relying on Thomas to lead the way. It would take the two of you 12 hours to get to Stohess District, and considering you have to inform all the other districts on the way, it would probably take another hour. You'll arrive late in the evening, by which time the assault on said district will be over and Erwin will most likely face the consequences. You have to be quick; you know. But when you turn your head, you see the first abnormal titans arriving, the cadets fleeing from them while Mike distracts them. Your heart sank and you glanced at Thomas, concentrating as he rode forward, not daring to look back. The flash of images of a torn Mike makes you jump and in a heartbeat, you decide to turn around and order Sonne towards the scout outpost. Thomas notices and curses under his breath, cursing you but not following you; the lives and fates of thousands of people. As a soldier, it's his duty to weigh up whose soul is most worth saving, and for Thomas, yours or Mike's isn't worth as much as half the population, you understand.

On your way to help your Section Commander, you notice a particular Titan, one that looks like an ape, covered in brown fur. He's lanky and tall, with long arms and a bored expression. You've seen this one before in your dreams, and he's definitely not good news. He's intelligent, you know that much, but what you're not so sure about is his role in this whole ordeal, you've seen the human inside this monster, a man with blond hair and a beard, tall and arrogant. You didn't expect him to be here so soon, which surprises you a little and makes you wonder how quickly your other visions will come true. You look away from him to see a horse riding in Mike's direction, still standing on the roof, oblivious to you, his eyes fixed on the beast like a titan, worried by its sudden appearance. It's as if it had appeared out of nowhere. Noticing the Titan's long arm reaching for Mike's horse, a surprised yelp escapes your lips and you urge Sonne to ride faster.

The next thing happening is over in mere seconds, but to you it feels like an eternity. Mike's horse is lifted by the beast and thrown onto the roof, where he stands with a shocked expression on his face, his body frozen in surprise. He pulls his blade from his belt and screams something you can't make out. All you can see is his now dead horse flying in his direction, blood splattering like rain all over you. The stallion's corpse hits Mike, causing him to fall from the roof straight onto the ugly, small creature below him. You scream and grab the controls of your own gear, standing up slightly in your saddle, aiming the anchors at the house where your Section Commander and lover was standing a moment ago and swinging from Sonne, pulling your wielded blade from its sheaths to aim at the titan's neck. Mike's painful screams mingle with yours as the crippled titan bites down, breaking skin and bone.

Before you can reach it and kill it, something pulls you back by the wires of your equipment, causing you to lose control of the ODM. Wiggling in the air, you scream as you spin around to see the ape visaged titan kneeling, your wires squeezed between his fingers as he looks down at you as if you're nothing more than an insect. Adrenaline shoots through your body as you try to break free, but it's no use. Another painful scream draws your attention away from your hopeless situation and your tearful eyes land on the one man who tried to protect you.
"Mike!" You whimper as the titan bites down once more.

"They must not have heard me." At first, you don't quite understand where that strange, deep voice is coming from, but as you look carefully at the intelligent Titan, you realize that he is indeed the one speaking.
"I told you to wait." With that, he grabs the titan's abnormally large head and squeezes it with the simple pressure of his fingers. One of its eyes pops out of its socket and you feel a sickening sensation in your gut at the sight. Mike falls to the ground, legs limp as he holds his lower, bleeding abdomen. The beastly titan begins to playfully bounce you up and down on the string, which does nothing to alleviate your nausea.
"May I ask what you call your strange weapon?" You swallow and meet his eyes. While yours are tearful and filled with fear, his yellowish ones hold nothing but mockery.
"That thing at your waist that allows you to fly." He continues to explain his question.
"What the fuck?" You yell, staring at him in disbelief, as if he didn't just comment on the fact that the titan threw a fucking horse at Mike and left you hanging like a literal bug.
"That's not nice of you..." He speaks, adding a name that sounds familiar and yet so strange at the same time. Your eyes widen as you stare at him in surprise.
“That's not my name.” You blur out almost automatically, making the titan races a furry brow.
“Is it not? Well I figured you wouldn't remember it. Afterall, you did this to yourself, little dove.” Confused, you frown, wondering what he meant by that.
“That's right. You have no memories of that day.” He mocks and lays his attention back on Mike, expression unfazed at the shocked state he is in.
“I noticed you also use swords. Fascinating. Must mean you know that we reside in the nape. Did you tell them that?” The beast questions you, giving you a hard glare, like you are a traitor of some sort.

“I suppose I'll just take it back with me.” Declaring his decision, the titan reaches for Mike to take his damaged ODM from his hips, making humanity's second strongest soldier cower in fear.
“Please don't kill him.” You beg and yelp as he moves you over to the outposts roof, placing you on top of it. While you wiggle yourself free again and give him an desperate look, you take notice of Mike slowly standing up, blade in hand and furious expression plastered over his bruised face.
“You leave my Faye alone!” He screams out and points the blade at him in a demanding way. The ape looks surprised at the sudden will to fight.
“Faye? That's ironic. Tell me do you love that man?” Your eyes widen at the question, and you look from him to the soldier, nothing but pleading desire to save him in your heart.
“Yes.” You confess, your teary eyes never leaving Mike's.

“Hm. Then you leave me no choice.”

Feeling your heart stop beating, your eyes widen as four titans, that have been standing still like bystanders, start moving again, running towards Mike in a rush for blood lust. You are helplessly watching as the beast titan leaves, while his mindless puppets start ripping and biting at various parts of your Section Commander's body. Frozen in fear, soundless cries and pleads leave your lips and you close your eyes, not able to watch the gruesome death of your loved one. Your own ODM uselessly tangles around your legs, and you lean forward, covering your ears. Mike's screams are torture, a mixture of pain, fear and the realization of being completely powerless.

At some point his agonizing cries stopped and the last thing you hear is flesh being torn apart and bones being cracked in multiple pieces. Numb from pain, you turn around and await the titan’s presence closing in on you. Farley sure that the same fate will hit you, you let your eyes closed in hopes to ignore the death looming over you. A shiver runs down your spine as you make out movement behind you. “I couldn't save him.” You whisper and ball your hands into fists, preparing for your own death. But the titans simply ignore you and start wandering around freely, like you are not there.
"That's not my name." You blur almost automatically, making the titan race a furry brow.
"Isn't it? Well, I figured you wouldn't remember. After all, you did it to yourself, little dove." Confused, you frown, wondering what he meant.
"That's right. You have no memory of that day." He mocks and turns his attention back to Mike, his expression unaffected by the shocked state he is in.
"I noticed you use swords too. Fascinating. Must mean you know we live in the neck. Did you tell them that?" The beast questions you, giving you a hard look, as if you were some kind of traitor.

"I suppose I'll just take them back." Declaring his decision, the titan reaches for Mike and pulls his damaged ODM from his hips, causing humanity's second strongest soldier to cower in fear.
"Please don't kill him." You beg and scream as he moves you to the roof of the outpost and sets you on it. As you wriggle free and give him a desperate look, you notice Mike slowly standing up, blade in hand, an angry expression plastered across his bruised face.
"You leave my Faye alone!" He shouts, pointing the blade at him. The ape looks surprised at the sudden will to fight.
"Faye? That's ironic. Tell me, do you love this man?" Your eyes widen at the question, and you look from him to the soldier, nothing but a pleading desire to save him in your heart.
"Yes." You confess, your wet eyes never leaving Mike's.

"Hm. Then you leave me no choice."

Feeling your heart stop beating, your eyes widen as four titans, who had been standing still like spectators, begin to move again, running towards Mike in a frenzy of bloodlust. You watch helplessly as the Beast Titan walks away while his mindless puppets begin to tear and bite at various parts of your Section Commander's body. Frozen with fear, mute cries and pleas escape your lips and you close your eyes, unable to watch your loved one's gruesome death. Your own ODM tangles uselessly around your legs, and you lean forward to cover your ears. Mike's screams are torture, a mixture of pain, fear and the realization that he is completely powerless.
Eventually his agonising screams stop and the last thing you hear is the sound of flesh being torn apart and bones being shattered. Numb with pain, you turn around and wait for the titans to close in on you. Sure, that the same fate will befall you, you close your eyes, hoping to ignore the death looming over you. A shiver runs down your spine as you make out movement behind you. "I couldn't save him." You whisper, clenching your hands in preparation for your own death. But the titans just ignore you and start walking around freely, as if you were not there.
You'd like to scream and kill those idiotic, murderous monsters, but all you can do is numbly climb down the roof, past the bloodied titans and straight to Mike's remains. The sight catches you off guard, and you feel dizzy as you see his torn limbs splattered across the ground, covered in blood. Mike deserves a proper burial, and you'll make sure you find the most beautiful cherry tree in the area to lay him to rest.

Erwin is standing in his grant office overlooking his soldiers after the semi-successful capture of Annie Leonhardt this morning. With him are his trusted Captain and Karl, a soldier and informant from his own squad. The Commander sent for Levi to talk about his health, which he quickly dismissed. After his injury, Erwin decided it was best for him to rest and leave Mike in charge of the new cadets. "I spoke to Hange." Levi rolled his eyes absently, as if it were impossible to have a normal, successful conversation with them.
"Apparently Leonhardt isn't going to give up this shit anytime soon." The Captain explains, crossing his arms as he waits for Erwin's reaction.
"I see." He only replies by picking up his glass of golden liquor, but before he can enjoy the burning taste of whisky on his tongue, the door to his office is thrown open. He doesn't usually take well to unannounced distributions, but this time is different.

His soldier gasps at your side, standing in the doorway covered in blood. Your expression is dead, unrecognizable from the usual sparkle in your eyes.
"Wall Rose has been breached." You explain numbly, as if you were in some kind of trance, causing Levi to turn around in surprise, presumably to face you. His lips open and close at your sight, unable to recognize you under all the blood and dirt.
"The cadets of the 104th are most likely not involved, they are looking for the hole in the wall." You begin, your right hand on your heart, your left crossed behind your back.
"Thomas, the first messenger was eaten by a titan shortly after his leave and Section Commander Mike..." your cool demeanor changes as your eyes tangle with Levi's, your voice hollow as you begin to stutter.

"Section Commander Mike is dead."

Chapter Text

The last ten days have been so full of death, failure and betrayal that you almost forgot there was once peace, life and loyalty. Mike's death and the appearance of the beast titan set off a chain of events that even you couldn't have foreseen. Your entire squad was whipped out while you were in the safety of Erwin's office, mourning Mike's death with him. You were assigned as Levi's personal assistant shortly after the Commander declared you unfit to fight due to trauma. That's why you haven't been actively fighting for the last few days, instead learning how to serve Levi's tea properly. A few days later, you had a vision of Reiner transforming into the armored titan. A background check revealed that there was literally no information about his upcoming, and after Armin began to suspect your comrade and friend as well, things went downhill quickly.

Bertolt and Reiner revealed themselves as titans a few days later and kidnapped both Eren and Ymir, who appears to be a Titan as well. In total, there were five intelligent titans within the walls, and yet none of you knew how they appeared, where they came from, or why Eren had one. Surely the secret lies in the cellar of his father's house in Shiganshina. When you rescued him from the colossal giants Reiner and Bertolt, it was revealed that sweet little Krista Lenz was also hiding a terrible secret from you.

Historia Reiss, that's her real name. She hasn't given much away yet, but Commander Erwin has made sure she's in Levi's new squad. If anyone was able to get information out of her, it was him. After you and Historia were chosen, your friends quickly followed. Eren, the only remaining member of the Captain's late squad, obviously stayed under his supervision, and after a few discussions Mikasa and Jean also proved to be natural choices for him. Armin was the next obvious choice, and a good one at that. He may be weak, but he has strategic potential. You are not sure why Connie and Sasha were chosen. It's not that you hate them, on the contrary, you're glad to have their cheerful personalities around again, but are they really good enough to protect Eren and Historia from danger?

Tomorrow will be the day when the new Levi Squad will leave with the Hange Squad for the Titan-based experiments outside in Rose. The supposed breach turned out to be nothing but a false assumption, the truth is much darker. The titans that attacked you that day and killed your squad appeared right inside the walls, and to make matters worse, they were once human. How? You don't know yet, but you're confident you'll soon find out. You have been over-analysing your journals and notebooks every night, trying to read between the lines and remember your visions. All triggered by the words of that ape titan. He knows you; he made that clear, which is why you now suspect that you are from outside the walls. That's why you're standing outside Erwin's bedroom, anxiously knocking on the door, hoping not to disturb him.

Commander Erwin Smith has been in a coma for days, having lost his arm in battle. It was bloody and messy, and when he came back bleeding and on the brink of death, you wondered if your visions had deceived you. You saw his death and it was different.

"Name and business." A calm yet harsh voice demands, letting you know he's still awake.
"Cadet Faye Engel, sir. I have news." You reply, loud enough for him to hear. After a moment of silence, the Commander allows you to enter, and you nervously open the wooden door. As you enter, you find yourself facing the Commander, bedridden, unshaven and deeply affected by recent events.

"What is it, Faye?" He asks, wetting his lips with his tongue as he lets your name roll over his cracked lips.

"Captain Levi wants to inform you of the further plans for tomorrow, he has written everything down here." You show him the envelope, written in your superior's perfectly written calligraphy. He declines the offer, insisting on reading it himself, and asks you to give him the reports, which you do, your cool hands touching his, making you shiver. It's not that you're attracted to him, no, it's more the uncomfortable feeling you get when he looks at you, almost as if he knows something you don't.

"Anything else, dear?" Slightly nervous, you brush a strand of your hair behind your ear that has fallen into your face as you shift from one leg to the other.
"Yes - um." As you search for the right way to explain your theory, a nervous feeling, almost like fear, settles in your gut.
"I don't think I'm from inside the walls." You admit and take a deep breath.
"But I'm not your enemy!" You add quickly with a nervous laugh, scratching the back of your head uncomfortably.

"What makes you think that?" Erwin asks, genuinely intrigued by your confession.
"The Beast Titan. It was able to talk to me and it seemed to know me." The Commander looks at you and allows you to continue.
"It called me by a name that sounded strangely familiar. This beast said he thought I wouldn't remember it. He said I had done it to myself." You are telling the truth; Erwin can see it in your frightened eyes. He wishes you'd told him that, but for now he can see past it. The loss of his friend has taken a deeper toll on you than he expected at first.

"I figured you weren't from here." Erwin confesses after a minute of silence, his deep blue eyes boring into your soul with interest.

"But why?" You ask, deeply confused. Have you been behaving differently? Or strange?
"To be honest, I was never really sure that you were from Shiganshina. I think you lost your memories, that the head injuries were serious after all. It's impossible that you forgot the whole concept of the walls, but that's highly unlikely". He explains calmly, playing with the envelope you gave him.
"But you said something to Mike that was even more unusual." You raise an eyebrow at his statement, wondering what you might have said.
"Apparently you said that you were at school until you were fourteen. No one within the walls can stay in school that long, except for the rich heirs of nobles in the inner districts. If you were from Sina, someone would have looked for you. He says, and you think his thoughts are reasonable. There is a comfortable silence between the two of you until Commander Smith decides to lead the conversation again.

"The name he called you by." He begins, sitting up slightly, serious in tone but with a hint of gentleness in it.
"Is that how you want to be called from now on?" Seemingly taken by surprise, your frown deepens as you immediately answer with a short "No", causing the Commander to raise a bushy eyebrow.
"No?" He repeats your words, confused, as if he hadn't expected you to say that.
"I don't want to be called anything that has to do with that beast." You explain sternly and firmly, clearly rejecting the idea. The blonde just nods his head, different thoughts dancing in his head, all circling around you.
"If he knows you, do you think the other titans do too?" He wonders, asking you something you haven't had time to think about yet.
"If they know me, they certainly haven't shown up." You answer honestly, unable to think of a time when they would hint.
"I hope you realize that no one can know about this conversation." Erwin says and opens the envelope from Levi, his attention now elsewhere.
"I do." You promise with a brief nod of the head and salute him to get permission to leave. "Have a good night, Faye."

Your night had been nothing but horrible. Sharing a room with your good friends from the trainee corps had never been a problem until tonight. Historia was the first to fall asleep, followed by Mikasa, who had been injured by a titan a few days ago. Sasha and you stayed up the longest, chatting about the past few days and answering her questions about being the Captain's personal assistant. Although you had only been in this position for a few days, the man had managed to drain you of all your patience. You had to make him tea several times in a row until his words weren't "drinkable" anymore but "good", and it took you ages to proofread his files and papers, only to find that they were already perfect. Sasha would giggle at your miserable week and ask you for some advice on what it meant to be his subordinate. Soon after, you both fell asleep, leaving only the light of the moon in the darkness of your barracks.

The dreams that haunted you that night began strangely. You don't know how or when it began, but first there was Historia, standing in a white dress with a red velvet rope covering her shoulders and back, her hair pulled back in a beautiful bun, her expression deadly serious. Someone placed a golden crown on her head, and the shouts of joy from the citizens filled your ears. But the dream did not end there. Now you're going through a torturous ordeal, watching soldier after soldier fall to their deaths. You see Shiganshina, covered in moss and ivy, as if no one had cared for it for years. You walk through its streets, dried and fresh blood covering the stony streets. You see Erwin, his body motionless and lifeless, you see him on a mountain of corpses, all of them dead scouts. Erwin was once praised for his success in bringing back hundreds of soldiers alive, but now he's the cause of hundreds, if not thousands, of deaths.

You don't realize it's a nightmare, no, you think it's another nightmare you can't wake up from. You don't notice your body tensing and shaking, you don't hear your own cries and pleas. But your friends do, rushing to your side as you scream in agony. Unable to wake you and seeing blood running from your nostrils all over your face, Historia quickly runs out of the room to find help. Other scouts have woken up by now, so they open the door to see what's going on. On her way to get a nurse, Historia accidentally runs into Captain Levi, who seems to be wide awake. She tries to explain the situation to him, not knowing that he has already dealt with you like that before.

Levi is quick on his feet, rushing down the corridor to the barracks.
"Oi. Get back to bed." He spits at the inquisitive scouts, urging them back to their rooms with an angry expression on his face. Historia follows him, concern written all over her sleepy features. Entering the barracks, he pulls the panicked Blouse girl away from your form and demands to know from Mikasa how long you've been having the seizures. The gloomy brat is the only reliable one in this situation, she answers him sharply as she holds your hand and tries to comfort you. Ever since you came to defend Eren at the trial and looked after him when she couldn't, Mikasa has been nothing but loyal to you, trusting you in every way. She used to be cold and distant, much like Levi, but knowing the truth about you has helped her to understand.

"I'll take her to the nurses. Go back to bed." The Captain carefully lifts you into his arms and holds you close to his chest, trying not to get blood all over himself. Your screams stop instantly as your tearful eyes close, and you slowly begin to calm down. Almost as if he has brought you back to reality.

He carries you through the corridors, cursing the soldiers who didn't listen to him the first time and lecturing them about respect. He can't take you to the nurses though, he doesn't trust them. They're employed by the military police, and he certainly doesn't want to give them any reason to find out about your nightly seizures. Levi only told the girls this because he knew it would ease their worries a little. After all, he needs them awake for an hour-long journey tomorrow. He listens to your soft whimpering as you come to, your frightened eyes opening to meet his as he carries you up the stairs to his office.
"They're all going to die." You whisper under your breath, your body weak from the terrifying attack you have just endured.

"Don't think about that, brat." Levi tries, he really does, but comforting others has never been his forte.
"Where are you taking me?" Your confused and tired voice makes him pity you a little as he looks straight ahead, not daring to meet your eyes.
"My office." He says as he struggles to open the door without accidentally dropping you.

"Am I in trouble Captain?" Your raspy voice and troubled words make him swallow without answering. The last few days have been terrible for him, not that you've been a terrible assistant, far from it. You were perfect in every way, caring deeply about details and his opinion. Almost as if you were using your work as a way of coping with your loss. He felt more and more happy to have you around every day, and it made him feel terribly disgusted with himself. "Remember who she is." He tried to tell himself. "She could be my death one day, we know nothing about her, not even her real name." But Levi can't help himself, there is something about you that seems to draw him in, something that warms his belly with a desire he thought he had buried long ago.

From his office, he goes to his bedroom, only to put you on his bed, which he rarely uses. He tells you to stay there when he goes to the bathroom to get a wet carpet. Ever since he saved you from certain death on the last expedition, he has felt responsible for you. Levi knows that you are a grown woman, a soldier, capable of looking after yourself, but who will look after you when you can't? When you are unconscious, unable to control your own body? Looking at you in the mirror over his sink, Levi can't help but admire how stunning you look; covered in tears, with a thin line of blood that makes your pale skin stand out even more. He swallows, reminding himself that he is sick in the head for thinking that your current state is attractive. "That's why you don't have sex anymore, idiot." He tells himself, clutching the wet cloth tighter in his fist. "You only hurt your companions."

He leaves the bathroom shortly afterwards and comes to your side.

"Can you tell me what you were dreaming about?" The Captain asks as he begins to clean the blood from your face with the clothes, not as gently as you might have liked, but you don't complain.
"I saw Historia in a crown." You start to shiver at the coolness on your heated face. "But I also saw Shiganshina." He stops meeting your eyes, waiting patiently for you to continue. "The whole regiment of scouts was there, most of them riding to their deaths." You gulp at the image that has taken over your mind. "So much blood, the beast titan..." Levi silences you, placing his finger over your lip to stop you from speaking.

"We'll talk to Erwin about it in the morning." He promises and continues to clean your face so that he doesn't get any dirt on the fresh sheets. At least that's what he tells himself.

"Captain?" You speak up, tired eyes following the movement of his hand. He looks up, the darkness making you breathless.
"Why are you so kind?" The question seems to take him by surprise, as he stops his movements, his eyes widening for a second until they form into slits. It's almost as if he's realized that this behavior is unlikely for him. At least with you.
"Tch, don't be stupid. I'm not doing this to be nice."
He explains, getting up to take the flirty cloth to his bathroom. "Then why..." But Captain Levi doesn't give you room to ask another question as he tucks you into the blanket.

"You need sleep, Cadet. Tomorrow's going to be exhausting, I can't have you tossing and turning." His voice is gruff as he closes the shades and the bathroom door roughly, leaving you alone in his bedroom. His room, his bed. You only seem to notice it now, now that you are fully awake and frightened by what you have seen. It makes you blush a deep red at the realization.

"Wait Captain..." He stops at your small voice, your eyes meeting in a haze.
"Please don't leave me alone. I can't be right now." It's the truth, you'd probably just get caught up in your darkness.
"And here I thought you were 15. Apparently, you are five." Angered by his harsh and mean words, you frown and pull the blanket a little higher. Noticing that it barely smells of him, you wonder if he cleans the sheets daily or hardly uses them at all.
"I'm 23." You remind him, or at least you think you are. You notice the side of his lips move up a little, but as quickly as it appeared it's gone.

"Do you know what you are asking of me, Cadet?" He asks as he steps closer to your surprised form, his arms crossed. You notice that his shirt is partially unbuttoned, revealing his collar. His sleeves are rolled up and you think you have never seen him so comfortable.
"You ask your Captain to stay with you so you can have a better night's rest." He concludes, scowling at the assumption he's just made, daring you to walk into his trap, but you don't give him the sick satisfaction.
"This is so unbecoming of you, Captain. Bringing a barely conscious girl into your personal barracks." You sneer, your eyes twinkling as you look up at him with a daring stare that seems to take his breath away for a moment.

"Unbecoming? Hm. Why do you think I brought you here, little Cadet?" You weren't expecting him to jump at your challenge, but rather to scold you for it. Biting your lips, you fidget under the white sheets that covered your nightgown from his endearing eyes. Your fingers play with the hem as you reply in a hushed tone.
"I believe there is some sort of rule against having your subordinate in your quarters, Captain." You tease softly, a smirk on your lips as you watch him narrow his eyes at you, his body tensing. His hands clench into fists. You wait for him to say something else, but instead he looks away. You sigh in relief and pull your legs closer to your chest, curling up into a ball and closing your eyes.
"Get some sleep, Cadet." He finally says, leaving your bed and soon the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Certainly not able to sleep, you try to distract yourself, debating with yourself why the Captain took such good care of you that night.

Chapter Text

You woke up in the middle of the night, confused at first by the bedroom you found yourself in. It took you a second to remember where you were, and it made you gasp at the thought. Soon you felt far too uncomfortable to stay in your Captain's bedroom and decided to leave. If you left in the morning, who knew who might see you and get the wrong idea. Before you could go to your room, you had to pass by the Captain's office and you remembered being surprised to see him slumped over his desk in his chair, passed out with fatigue. You felt bad and embarrassed that he had given up his bed for you, so you made a beeline for your own.
It's the only thing you can think of now, while you tidy up his new bedroom in the little farmhouse where you're hiding for more titan experiments with Eren. Yesterday he took you to his room, tended to your needs and made sure you got at least a little sleep. But the conversation that followed is what really makes your cheeks turn the color of cherries. It was almost a tease, a warning, and yet there was a challenge in his eyes. What would your friends think if they knew where the Captain had really taken you?

Captain Levi is currently attending the experiment with Eren, Section Commander Hange and the others to see if he can form a crystal similar to Annie's. He insisted that you would have to do his room, as of all his subordinates you seem to be the only one who can bring it up to standard, or at least close to it. "You make sure my room is clean when I get back. Fresh sheets and all." He said before he left for the experiment, looking at you with cold eyes. You felt a little unwelcome, maybe they think you are not in the right mental state to see a titan yet. After his comment, you are now on it. First you dusted every corner and shelf you could find. Then you swept the floors and deep cleaned them with a special soap that your Captain always carried with him.
These three simple steps took more than an hour, and in between you and Mikasa took care of Eren after an experiment went wrong. It seems that he didn't transform into his full titan form, but rather into a weaker and smaller version of it. While you waited for the floors to dry, you prepared Levi's new sheets and even went to the trouble of ironing them. All to avoid confrontation and gain his trust, you have learned from your past mistakes. Normally you would care less what this man thinks of you, but since Mike's death he has kept you company, strange as it may sound. He himself is still mourning the death of his old squad, maybe he wanted it as much as you did. The two of you didn't want to be alone and Erwin took the chance to pair you up; as a captain and an assistant. It annoyed you at first, but soon you felt relieved to have some sort of distraction, something to work with. And Captain Levi gave you plenty of tasks to work on.
You are so deep in thought that you don't even notice the Captain entering the room and looking around in surprise. "You really outdid yourself." At the words you quickly turn around, startled by his sudden appearance. Clenching your fist over your heart, you greet him stiffly, apologizing for not having finished your cleaning in time.

"At ease, Soldier. No need, we are not in uniform." You look at him with wide eyes, confused that he called you a soldier. It's not your rank yet, you're still just a cadet.
"That's right." He notices your confusion, fascinated by your quick thinking. It will certainly come in handy on future missions.
"Erwin has decided that you're worthy of a promotion. That and I can't have a cadet as my second in command, now, can I?" Levi rolls his eyes at your confused expression, while you stand there speechless with your lips parted, as if you wanted to say something but the words never left your lips.
"What?" You ask instead, not sure if you heard him right. If it turns out that you did hear correctly, this will be a bittersweet ordeal.
"Yes. I want you to be my deputy. Don't be flattered. You are older and more well-behaved than these brats." You beam at him, a bright smile covering your lips.
"So you admit I'm a reliable adult!" You can't help it, obviously overwhelmed by the promotion and the new role.
"Oi. Stop being an idiot. You were the only logical choice. Besides, Erwin wants to keep you around, you're valuable, so don't fuck up." He threatens and turns his attention to a small shelf, admiring your work with a curt nod of his head.

"Thank you, Captain Levi! I promise I will not disappoint you." The man looks at you, unimpressed, his cold eyes staring into yours, filled with joy. He knows you won't let him down; Trainee Corps has trained you to be a people pleaser, maybe you were one in your life before, he'll probably never know. Three years ago he played a game with himself, obsessed with the idea of finding out your past. Now that game is coming to an end, and what he does with it is up to fate. You are so close to unlocking the secrets of the walls, and while Historia and Eren are clearly part of the mystery, you seem to be the key. Perhaps that was your role all along, the key to the truth.
Levi can tell himself that he dislikes you all he wants, but the truth is that he has been attracted to you for years. Maybe not from day one, but there has always been something about you that has made him feel sparks all over his body. Surely you don't feel that way about him, Mike captured your heart and broke it the moment he was torn apart. There is no way he will put it back together; a man like him would only shatter it more. Erwin wouldn't like that, he doesn't need a broken pawn in his game. His eyes wander over your body, lingering for a moment on your neck as he swallows hard, wondering what you would do if he closed his bare hands around it. 'Sick. You're a freak.' He says to himself as he quickly meets your face again. Levi wishes he had stayed with you last night, but there was no way he could have hidden the growing desire if he had. Levi felt like a stupid teenage boy when he left you there in his room, his trousers uncomfortably tight around his middle.
"This is so unbecoming of you, Captain. Bringing a barely conscious girl into your personal barracks." You said in a teasingly soft voice, adoration in your innocent yet tired eyes. He was clearly aroused by the thought, really into the idea of having her all to himself. It's not that he likes having sex with an unconscious woman, hell no, he's certainly not that kind of pervert, but the thought of you indulging in the idea of doing something unconventional with him in control got to him and his mind. It actually made him feel a certain dread at the moment, he would have to come up with an excuse quickly or things might get messy.

"Run me a bath." He speaks suddenly, surprising himself with the softness of his voice. Levi swallows as you eagerly comply.
"Of course, any special oils?" You ask, a blush creeping across your soft cheeks. He has never asked you before and you wonder if this is all a test, given your rocky start with humanity's strongest soldier, it would make sense for him to test your devotion.
"Don't care. Make it hot." He breathes and turns to leave the room, a pained expression on his face. Why would I ask her to do that?" he questions his own motives as he heads for the kitchen to make himself a quick cup of tea. Confused, Levi curses under his breath as flashes of your happy and flushed face hit him. He thinks he has never seen you so happy and for some reason it makes him feel a little giddy.
The small wooden tub in the Captain's room is soon filled with steaming water, and you make sure to add some lavender oil, which you like to carry with you. Mina, a cadet you used to share a bunk with, showed you. You were devastated after dreaming of her death and seeing it for yourself over a month ago. Unable to save her in time, the only thing you can do is uphold your shared tradition of using lavender oil. "You can use it for clothes, washing, bathing or just to smell nice!" She encouraged you and convinced you of its benefits. Mina Carolina was a sweet girl, and for the first time she helped you get a good night's sleep with this multifunctional product. It would certainly help the Captain to relax, he could use it anyway, you wouldn't want him to die young just because he had a stroke or something. You leave the tiny bathroom and go downstairs to tell him everything is ready.

In the kitchen, the Captain is holding a cup of tea by the rim, a strange habit you have noticed him do. You have heard that he comes from some kind of underground city, whatever that means, maybe they hold their cups like that there? You've heard a lot of rumors about his past, soldiers say he was a thug and a murderer, but you can't help but think it's bullshit. There is no way that Captain Levi was a criminal; he seems far too, well, arrogant for that to be true.

"Your bath is ready, Captain." You get his attention, hands crossed behind your back. Standing in the kitchen like this, cleaning his room and preparing his bath, you don't feel like his deputy at all, more like his personal maid. Levi just looks at you and carefully places his now empty cup on the counter.
"Bring me fresh towels from the storeroom. Then you can join the others in training." Levi demands, leaving you standing in the kitchen. Before you grab the requested towels, you look down at your choice of cloth, aware that you need to change them for training. You are wearing a loose white blouse tucked into your long, flowing skirt. It has a soft floral pattern, and you remember that it was a gift from Petra Ral, Levi's late squad member. She was the first to give you old clothes when she heard you had nothing to call your own. Even though the two of you weren't particularly close, she tried to be as welcoming as possible.

You quickly grab two towels from the cluttered room underneath the stairs and seconds later you are upstairs, following the rather narrow hallway to Levi's room. You knock on the door but there is no answer, so after a moment's wait you decide to let yourself in. He should be expecting you. His room is just as you left it; clean and tidy. Even though you never finished the window, Captain Levi didn't seem to mind. You look around and notice that the bathroom door is slightly ajar. You approach it, your steps almost silent as you step over a rug, with the aim of delivering the towels so you can start training for the day. When you are close enough to see the inside of the bathroom, you suddenly stop, your eyes widening at what you see.
Too shocked to turn around, your gaze falls on the exposed skin of your Captain's chest, wandering over his toned stomach. You gasp and close your eyes as he pulls his trousers and underwear down in one swift motion, though you have caught glimpses of his half-erect member. Feeling shame creep into your gut, you can't help but take another look at his magnificent body as you watch him sink into the wooden tub. He moans as the hot water consumes him, seemingly unaware of your presence. "What am I thinking?" You ask yourself, feeling dirty and ashamed that you have just stalked your naked Captain in his private time. "Mike would be so disappointed."

With all your courage, you knock on his bathroom door, not daring to open it as you ask where he wants the towels.
"Just bring them in." He shrugs, oblivious to the state he is in. Soldiers are used to nudity, he himself had to use communal bathrooms at one time or another, and the underground has certainly done wonders to sharpen his edges. With a heavy heart, she enters the small bathroom, his face and ears already hot and bloodshot. There's no way he won't notice your unpleasantness. You stand there in silence, looking around for a hook to hang the white towels on. There is none.
"What kind of oil is this?" Levi asks, his amused eyes fixed on your awkward form.
"Oh. Um, it's lavender Captain." You answer, deciding to simply place the cloth on the same stool where he had neatly folded his clothes.

"Tell me, Soldier. That day at the trial, Dok mentioned something about some of your sexual fantasies. Care to indulge me in what they involved?" You freeze at his words, not daring to move, your heartbeat increasing. You turn to him, your eyes wide and your expression scandalized.
"Y-You can't possibly ask me that!" Stuttering and slightly shouting, your pale expression is nothing but agitated. This behavior is uncharacteristic of your Captain, and you wonder if this is his way of leading you into a trap. You know he never liked the idea of you and Mike having a relationship outside of your roles in the Scout Regiment, so perhaps this is his way of testing your priorities as a reliable soldier. He seems a little unhinged, a twisted expression on his face.
"Perhaps I should rephrase that." Levi offers, turning his whole body towards you, wet hair sticking to his forehead.

"Were these mere fantasies of yours or prophetic visions?" Levi wonders, his skin flushed from the heat of the water. Before he officially introduces her to the people as his second, he needs to get this out of the way. People would talk, they would accuse her of sleeping with higher ups to get promotions and fame. If these dreams turn out to be visions, he will simply have to make them not come true. His position is different from Mike's, that tall bastard was only allowed to enjoy your love because the Regiment allowed it, because your identity and destiny hadn't yet been determined. Things are different now, Levi isn't there to extract information or truth from you, he's there to protect you from potential harm. He can't get close to you like the Section Commander.
Levi notices you biting your lip and fidgeting nervously under his gaze. You look attractive that way too, which only makes it harder for him.
"Is that relevant?" You ask, playing with the hem of your sleeve to distract yourself from the awkwardness in the steamy room. Not sure he wants to know; you wait patiently for further explanation.
“It is, I don't want it to affect our professional relationship.” The Captain says in a cold manner, making you bite your tongue to not remind him, that he was the one inviting you in his bathroom while he sat naked in a tub filled with clear water. Sighting, you relax your posture and stop fidgeting around, hoping to appear more collected than scared.
“Well, they certainly were visions.” He can tell you are honest, making his heart jump a little at the thought. Levi brushes his hair out of his face and leans back against the rim of the, the muscles in his hand contracting into a fist.
“Who initiated those obscenities in your prophetic dreams?” The Captain demands to know, but you seem to not quite understand what he's asking of you.
“Captain, I'm not quite sure what you want to know of me.” You speak slowly, trying to think of what he could have meant by that.
“Did I take the first step in your visions or was it you?” Levi is careful with his wording now, after all; he doesn't even know what these dreams included. Perhaps he could have a look of that diary of yours when you weren't looking.

A nervous laugh escapes you, your composure breaking at the thought of those dreams. You remember them clearly, they felt even more real than those you had about Mike. While the taller man never dared to treat you in a harsh way, Levi, at least in your prophecies, was a whole different chapter. He had you pinned down over his desk, pulling on your hair, while his mouth left bites on your neck.
"You. It was you, Captain." Cheek’s pink and lips red from being squeezed between your teeth, you look at him in a haze, flashes of your visions making your stomach tingle. Things have escalated far too quickly for you. Mike hasn't even been dead for two weeks and here you are blushing for another man.
Now it's Levi's turn to flinch, his fist losing its grip on the round wooden edge, the bone of his knuckles showing through the skin. His knees are pressed up against his torso, trying to hide the way your whole appearance and words are affecting him.
"And ugh-" Levi coughs, wondering if his next question might go too far. It's not like this whole situation wasn't already inappropriate, but that doesn't mean he can go any deeper. He should stop here, draw a thick red line that none of you can cross. The Captain decides against his next question and instead looks from you to the small gap in the wall.
"It can't happen, soldier. I promise you; these visions will not come true." Is all he says as he dismisses you, reminding you of your training. Happy to leave this intense situation, you practically run out of his room, closing the door behind you.

"Fuck." You whisper under your breath as your hands aggressively ball up your own hair, your heart almost pounding in your chest. Mixed emotions make your stomach turn as you lean back against the wall, heavy breaths leaving your lungs as you feel excited yet conflicted at the same time. What were those feelings? And why did they make you squeeze your tights so tightly? Feeling weak, you go to your room to change into something more suitable for training, an uncomfortable wetness in your panties as you wonder if this was your Captain's doing or just your imagination.

Chapter Text

It is a chilly late afternoon within the walls, although the sun has already risen above them, illuminating the landscape of wall Rose in beautiful warm colors. You have decided to go for a run, enjoying the fresh air and the blooming flowers as you jog back to the lovely cottage in the fields. You had already eaten lunch, wild berries, nothing else would do today. Just the thought of yesterday makes you sick, and the thought of your Captain alone made your heart pound. It was a strangely intimate situation, even though he hadn't touched you at all. His presence alone is enough to throw your rational thinking out the window.
As you approach the hut, you see about five additional horses grazing peacefully in the field around it. "Section Commander Hange must be back." You think nothing of it, but the moment you enter the main entrance of your little hideaway, the atmosphere is deeply stifling, almost suffocating as everyone turns to look at you. Your squad is seated around the large dining table, while Hange and her team are scattered around the room. You can guess what might happen next, you saw this scenario coming weeks ago.
"Pastor Nick is dead, isn't he?" You blurt out breathlessly, looking between your Captain and the Section Commander.

"Yes, they say he was robbed and murdered. Can you confirm that?" Levi asks, sounding almost bored, as if he already knows the answer. Frowning, you reply, "No. The MPs tortured and killed him". As if it were common knowledge.
"I thought so." Hange looks a little sad, deep in thought as well. As long as you couldn't reveal the secret of the walls, they relied on the pastor of the wall's Church to give them information. He never did.
"They tortured him. Presumably for information. Did they just want to know what exactly he'd pass on to us?” Armin offers the idea, looking to Levi for confirmation. The Captain sets his cup down on the table and agrees.
“But these are the interior MPs we are dealing with, so you can bet there is something deeper in work here.” He explains, his eyes moving from Armin to you and then to Hange.
“Now how many nails was the good Pastor missing?” That catches Hange off guard, not sure why he would want to know that.
"How many? You saw him, right?” Instead of her, it's you who answers.
"All of them. He didn't tell them anything." Their heads turn in your direction, a mixture of confusion and admiration in their eyes.

"If you knew he was going to die, why didn't you tell anyone? Freak." Jean asks aloud, glaring at you with suspicion, as if you were a traitor. The new people called you that behind your back. A 'freak' or a witch, or even better, a whore. Hearing it from him really hurts, because you thought these people were your friends. What if the others think the same?
"She did, stupid brat. Why do you think he took on another identity? Faye is your second-in-command, show her some respect." The Captain comes to your aid, glaring at the cadet who looks down in shame.
"Whatever. I'm impressed. I didn't think highly of Pastor Nick. But whatever his faults, he stuck by his beliefs until the end. Which means they have no idea we know about the Reiss family." Levi clarifies, his eyes drained of all emotion as he continues his speech.
"But the government is up to something, and we've got a target on our backs." His assumption turns out to be true, as Nifa bracks in walking up to him in a rush.
"Captain Levi, sir. I have a message from Commander Erwin. I went to tell him about Pastor Nick-” She explains as Levi opens the envelope and reads over the paper Nifa handed him.
“-but he gave me this and sent me off.”
Even from a distance you can see the Captain's eyes darken, his brows furrowed and his eyes become slits.
“Get your gears, now! We are leaving." He rises from his stool, making deep eye contact with you as he gives the order. "Make it look like we were never here." His comment sends a shiver down your spine as you urge the others to hurry.

They have traveled overnight, leaving the hut behind without a trace. Levi has a plan, a risky one, but it might work. Hiding in Trost seems stupid, but where else would they go? The inner distractions are even better guarded than the outer walls of Rose.
“Try not to walk clustered together. We’ll stand out.” Captain Levi reminds his squad, walking through the crowded streets of the city.
"Eren and Historia just act normal." Easier said than done, considering they are actually Armin and Jean. The real Historia and Eren are in a carriage, being driven away by a member of Hange's squad. It's the safest option. While Sasha and Connie talk about the anniversary of the king's coronation, a police officer catches their attention, who’s offering food rations to the folk in the name of the king.

"All this food and he's just giving it away?" Sasha asks, and you smile a little, wondering if she might actually stand in line just to get some free bread rolls.
“It's not as if he needs it all. Easier to control people when they are not starving.” Levi's choice of words catches your attention and you look at him, noticing that his voice has turned bitter. It's almost as if he knows what he's talking about. He walks past the MPs, apparently fed up with their way of manipulating the citizens.
"When do you think they will catch up with us?" You ask your Captain, eyeing Armin from the side who is dressed like Historia, taking on her identity for the plan. Originally it was you who was supposed to dress like her, but in the end Levi decided it was safer to use Armin, considering his age and resemblance to her.
"Can't be much longer..." he mumbles to himself, suddenly stopping as he turns around.
"Behind us. Look out!" To your surprise a wagon pulls around the corner, their horses riding at you with full speed as you jump out of the way, avoiding to get crasht by it. You fall to the ground, carefully covering your head with the hood of your brown tunic as dust swirls around you. As you try to get up, Mikasa holds out her hand for you to take, helping you to brush the dust from your trousers.

"Alright. Mikasa, Connie and Sasha follow them. Faye and I will stay close by on the rooftops, report back to us when they reach their hideout." Levi demands, grabbing your arm to pull you with him, away from curious eyes into a side alley where they can use their ODM without being seen.
"We have to catch up with them, hurry." He demands, using his equipment to take to the air as you follow close behind. You are by no means on his level in the omni dimension, but you are not bad at it, some would even say natural.

After a few minutes of following them without being seen, the carriage comes to a halt in front of an old warehouse belonging to the marked trait, letting you and your Captain land on its roof.
"These aren't MPs, are they?" You voice your observation, secretly wondering if they might be undercover and out of uniform.
"No. These are traders, amateurs." He speaks, sitting down to rest his leg. Levi is deep in thought, watching as they follow his disguised soldiers into the house. You also sit down cautiously and watch as Mikasa carefully swings herself to one of the large windows. She will probably report back to them soon.
"After they report back, we have to catch up with Nifa." Levi tells you, glancing at a watch on his wrist as he looks you up and down, noticing the way you avoid him. The incident happened two days ago and he hopes that this phase of shame will leave you soon, because frankly you did nothing wrong that day, it was all him. Mikasa approaches quickly as she lands close to you, kneeling down so as not to attract attention.

"How's everything going inside?" He asks, still watching the rooftops around him, seemingly searching for something in particular.
"If we wait much longer, they'll see through Armin's disguise." Mikasa explains, worried for her friend's safety.
“He's getting pawed at.” As she says it, you flinch, feeling helpless and sorry for the boy.
"I see." Levi comments, his hatred for these pigs swallowed up by his cold facade. They continue their conversation while you fall into a spiral of deep thought, wondering why the MPs are after you. Perhaps you are not as important to them as they led you to believe at the trial? Or maybe they think you are nothing more than a liability, invented by the Commander to help his cause.
"Get your ass up, Soldier, we are leaving." Captain Levi snaps you out of your thoughts, you get into a standing position, Levi glares between you and Mikasa, revealing something that makes the blood in your veins run cold.

"From now on we have to kill humans as well."
Gasping, you look at him in shock, about to question his orders, but the man is already on his way, flying through the air at high speed. It's almost impossible to keep up with him now, but you manage quite well as the two of you swing from building to building, getting closer and closer to the meeting point where Eren and Historia are supposed to be, and with a quick movement he aims for the roof of a pretty nice building, where you notice another cloaked figure. It turns out to be Nifa, the girl has found a good hiding place just behind a chimney.

"Captain!" She says in surprise, smiling slightly at you. You try to return it, but it only ends in a grimace as you look at Levi with a stressed expression on your face.
"Well?" He turns his attention to Nifa, ignoring the way your eyes are fixed on the back of his head, silently questioning and judging him.
“The road’s crowded, but I've seen nothing unusual. It's not far to Commander Pyxis from here, so I think we are good. But how's the double body mission?” She asks in her soft voice, her red bangs falling into her face as she turns to you.
"A success." His voice is gruff, his expression deadly cold.
“You don't seem very pleased about that.” Nifa notices, observant as ever. "I'm not." The Captain agrees, while you and she share a look, your soldiers just shrugging, not quite sure what his mood is.

"Captain. Wagon is almost on its move again.” The redhead declares, excited that things are moving again, but he just ignores it.
"Nifa, Faye. Have you heard of Kenny the Ripper?" While you haven't, your other companion seems to have an idea who he's talking about.
“That mass-murderer in the capital? The one who slit the throats of over a hundred MPs? Of course, but I always thought he was just an urban legend." Hearing that, you feel even more implacable and you dare to speak up, a little louder than usual.
"What is all this about, sir? You tell us we might have to kill people and now this." Furious at his lack of conversation, Nifa stares at you with wide eyes, she would never dare to speak to the Captain like that.
"The stories are all true. He is no legend." Levi continues, not answering your complaints at all. Your hands clenched into fists, you wait for a response to your accusations, but his next sentence leaves you stunned and Nifa blushing.

“I lived with him, back when I was a kid.”
“Yeah, really funny, sir. This isn't really the time to be making jokes.” She replies, clearly trying to lighten the mood, but she also seems uncomfortable. You know this wasn't a joke, he's serious.
"He's here, isn't he?" You echo his thoughts, resting your body next to his as you look up at him with pleading eyes. That's when you notice something crawling up the roof, and as you turn to look at the figure, a cold shower runs down your back as you are confronted with a golden rifle pointed directly at your head. Levi is much quicker than you could ever be, as he throws himself over you, screaming for Nifa at the same timeTwo shots ring in your ears as you are pushed behind the rocky chimney, out of reach of the bullets. Nifa wasn't so lucky and you can barely contain your worry as you see her body lying motionless on the roof. At a closer look you are able to make out the hole in her head and pool of blood covering her surroundings. She's dead. More shots ring out around the buildings and you close your eyes as more of your comrades die, something you couldn't have foreseen.

"Long time, Levi." A sinister voice taunts from behind you and steps in your direction, indicating that the attacker is closing in on you, possibly trapping you. "Stay close to me." Levi whispers as he holds you against his form, protecting you from potential harm.
“Still a runt, or have you grown some?” The stranger taunts your captain, reloading his guns and getting ready to kill. It all happens too fast, as suddenly a dozen armed MPs appear in the air, using a special kind of equipment to navigate through the narrow buildings.
"Nope. Don't look like you've changed much at all, boy.” The man appears above you, using his own ODM to get to your side of the roof much faster. Captain Levi acts quickly as he recklessly pushes you aside, pulls his blade from its sheath and throws it at the man. A loud and angry "Kenny!" comes from his mouth as he lunges at the larger man. Unfortunately, the man who appears to be the Kenny Levi spoke of moments ago is able to dodge the attack and fires a second time, narrowly missing your shoulder. You yelp as Levi throws you down on the roof with him, telling you once again to stay close. You wouldn't dare do anything else in a situation like this.

The ensuing chase through Trost leaves little time to think about anything but maneuvering through the buildings, streets and alleyways. You've never used so much gas at once in your life, fearing you might run low on it soon, but there is no way you would be able to out-trick them otherwise. It's a group of skilled men and women, all of whom seem to know your best move. Before you know it, one of them aims at you, and the drawn weapon grazes your shoulder. Shocked by the painful impact, you duck a little too far and slam your leg into a nearby wagon. You can barely feel the pain as you slow down, unable to follow Captain Levi as he maneuvers into a building to hide from Kenny the Ripper. You, on the other hand, are quickly caught by the said man, his tight grip grabbing you by the hair as he pulls you violently down in the air, crushing you to the ground. The pain leaves you breathless and for a moment you can't move, almost as if you were glued to the hard, stony road.
You're barely aware of what's happening when you're pulled up by your hair and your back is pressed against a chest, a hard metal edge against the side of your head. You feel dizzy, but the mem doesn't seem to care as he pushes you forward, making you groan in pain and almost topple over if it wasn't for the way he's holding you up so roughly.

"Now look at what we have here." The taller man speaks, leaning forward to get a better look at your face, inspecting you closely.
"Aren't you that psychic chick that was all over the papers? I bet the MPs wouldn't be too disappointed if I brought you to them as well, considering how they love to fawn over you." Kenny growls as he follows you into the pub, keeping an eye out for your Captain. He must have found a hiding place, probably behind the bar, not creative but certainly useful. The Ripper won't kill you, he's made that clear, but you're still not off the hook, and given his words, your options aren't good either. What could he mean by "they like to fawn over you"?
"What a good subordinate you have here, Levi. Obedient and naturally submissive. I bet you've ruined her already, haven't you? Heard stories of your little escapades in the underground. To tell you the truth, I never took you for that kind of man. His words shock you to the core and you tremble in his grip, not sure what he means.
"Let her go." Levi speaks from behind the bar, a certain anger in his deep yet raspy voice.
“We found something we enjoyed doing. It's just that simple. Every man needs himself a hobby, maybe the only fulfillment we'll ever find in this wretched world.” While Kenny picks up a chair with one hand, he still holds you close and speaks to Levi as only a father figure would.

"Oh, I see. Is that why you blew off my people's heads then? Because it's fulfilling?" The Captain wonders, and you notice a shift in his voice, a mixture of anger and mockery towards the man holding you hostage. You try to wriggle out of his grip, but it is no use, he seems even stronger than Captain Levi himself.
“Yep. To achieve my grand goal I'll kill as many as get in my way. And you are no different; you kill too when it benefits you.” Your captor announces, leaving you gasping at the revealed truth you suspected the moment he told his troops to kill any potential threat, even if it turned out to be human. If Levi was telling the truth about Kenny, then this man would certainly know a few things about him and had no reason to lie.
"Yes." Levi breathes and without thinking throws a loaded gun over the counter, aims it at Kenny and fires. In shock, the man blocks it with the wooden stool, but the force throws him and you back, a loud noise ringing in your ears from the impact. The lanky killer lands on the street, apparently unconscious, while you hit the ground in place, groaning as Levi rushes to your side, urging you to get up and follow him out the window.

He has tracked down the remaining members of Kenny's squad and, thanks to his equipment, is able to kill most of them. The MPs can use guns all they want, but nothing can challenge Levi and his blades. He’s fast, easily outsmarts his targets and protects you from further damage. It's hard for you to follow him now, your body still aging from the fall you took. But in that moment you realize something: Levi is loyal to his new team, but he's protective of you, keeping you close like this. And you are determined to find out why, and what Kenny meant by his bizarre words to your Captain.

Chapter Text

After the incident with Kenny, things continued to go downhill and eventually the plan ended in a disaster. Laying low is now your best option, considering that your last mission to protect Eren and Historia turned out to be a complete failure. Kenny, who turns out to be the captain of a special force’s unit within the military police regiment, was able to kidnap both of them. However, there was something positive about yesterday: they found out new information about Historia. For that they had to torture a high-ranking MP, which was their only option. You decided to follow Moblit's lead and stayed on Levi's side for possible assistance. Moblit Berner is Hange's second in command, and he has offered you his advice, which you have gratefully accepted. Though, Levi's torture of the man was a bit much, and you eventually excused yourself to vomit in front of your friends. They assured you that your reaction was normal and that you should take a break instead. While conventional torture didn't work on the MP, psychological torture did, and he ended up spilling something that had been kept from the public for decades. Rod Reiss, Historia's father, is the true King of the Walls, making Historia his heir. Your visions of her in a crown have once again proven to be a truce, earning you additional trust from the Surveyor Corps.

Now you are hiding just outside Trost district, feeling safer in the woods than in the city. You sleep in sacks made of fur, scattered under a tree in the middle of the bushes, a campfire would be far too obvious, so you have to stay close together. Levi and you decided to divide the group into sub-teams. Mikasa and Sasha would take the first watch, Levi and you the second. Jean, Connie and Armin will take the third.
There are still MPs looking for you and among them is surely Kenny. This man circles in your mind, confusing you the more you think about him. He's never appeared in your dreams, which makes you wonder what else you haven't foreseen.

Deep in thought, you glance at Captain Levi, who is sitting across from you, taking a sip from a bottle filled with water. He looks calm as his eyes meet yours in the darkness, a silent agreement between the two of you. You started your shift about half an hour ago, and while you still feel drunk with sleep, he seems wide awake as always.
Levi made you a promise a few days ago, and so far, he has kept it, but it seems that you are about to renege on the deal. He knows it too, the way you stare at him is obvious, even if he can't see the hunger for clarification in your eyes. He glances around to make sure the others are fast asleep before turning his attention back to you, leaning down to push up his torso with his elbows.
"What is it? I can see the wheels turning in your head from here." The Captain asks gruffly, relaxing against his fur. This night isn't as cold as the others, which favors their situation.
"Oh. Um..." Caught off guard, you try to formulate your next question carefully, not wanting to overstep his bounds.
"That man, Kenny. He said something about you killing people when it suits you. Is that true?" It's just one of a few things that's been nagging at your conscience, and you'd like to solve this mystery around him, hoping that it would solve your conflicted feelings as well.

Captain Levi is silent and just looks at you for a while, surely fighting the inner torment of telling you.
"I did in the past." He confesses and takes another sip from the bottle, not bothered by the revealed truth.
"If humanity would benefit from it, I'd certainly do it again." Levi adds, speaking his mind freely, knowing it could only increase the tension between you.
"So, are the rumors true? Were you a criminal in the past?" You blurt out, fascinated by the way he seems to be revealing his relentless actions to you. He smiles softly, but quickly replaces the mimic.
"Yes, I was. I got Erwin's attention, and he gave me a choice: either I die by execution or by the mouth of a titan." The more he reveals, the more you are drawn into his spell; it feels special to find glimpses of this mysterious man's past. It may also help you understand him better, making it easier to work with him in the future. At least you hope so.

"What's with all the questions?" He would like to know in return, racing a brow at your nervous state.
"I'm curious, that's all." You answer, shrugging as you smile at him. The moon is the only source of light, coloring your surroundings coldly. It makes Levi look even more seductive.
"Be careful with that." He replies simply, turning his head to peer out of the bushes. Always so professional. The Captain is right, curiosity killed the cat, and to think that your questions are unprofessional in the first place only shows that you are walking on thin ice right now. This is your captain, and just because he allows himself to ask the unspeakable once doesn't mean you can.

"I have one last question." You mention shyly, hiding the blush on your face with your green cloak, pretending to be cold. Levi clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes, staring back at you with a playfulness you have rarely seen from him.
"Go on." Levi demands, sitting up straight to lean forward and take a closer look at you, inspecting the way you flinch nervously under his gaze.
"Kenny mentioned something I didn't quite understand." You begin but are abruptly interrupted by Levi. He's not so calm anymore, shaking his head in disapproval and slight anger.
“He's talking shit, don't think too deep into it.” He brushes you off, clearly knowing what you might want to know. But he's not ready to reopen that kind of conversation with you, it would only lead him to unforgiving actions. He may be a patient man, but even Levi has clear lines, and if they are crossed, there is no holding back. You, on the other hand, seem far too comfortable with this for your own good.
"But I do. What did he mean by your escapades? What kind of man didn't he take you for and why would he ask if you ruined me -" Levi rushes forward and puts his hand over your mouth, silencing you instantly. Rude but effective, this is not something his subordinates need to hear, it would only get him in deep shit.
"Shit brat. Be quiet, this is nothing we can discuss out here, you understand?" As he moves his fingers away from your face, you immediately speak back, this time in a calmer tone.

"That's not fair. I answered your questions too." You argue, your heart pounding against your chest at the closeness he offers, his eyes narrowing into slits as his hands clench into fists at his sides, a sharp breath escaping him. Levi is a strict but fair man, he can't argue with you about this, it would only be hypocritical of him to do so.
"All right. But if you spill that shit to anyone, I'll personally see to it that you get eaten by a fucking abnormal one." Gulping, you nod your head and promise not to tell a soul. In return, you expect the same from him, knowing that he isn't cruel enough to hold this knowledge against you. Everyone in the courtroom has already seen the notes you wrote down, he would never put you through that again, considering your value to the Corps.

"By escapades, he meant the activities I indulged in years ago." Levi begins to explain in a hushed voice, a blush coloring his neck as he tries to avoid the subject.
"Like criminal activities?" You wonder, frowning if Kenny was actually referring to your Captain's juvenilities.
"Tch. No." Levi bites his tongue and stops himself from rolling his eyes. He has never talked about this with anyone, even feels conflicted about telling you of all people, but Levi knows that the two of you are far beyond such formalities.
"I have special needs, we all do. But mine are a little more controversial than others. That's what he meant." He elaborates, hinting at a sensitive subject for him.
"How so?" You ask, wincing at the sour look he gives you and looking down in shame.

"All you need to know is that I'm not the heroic man that people make me out to be." Levi huffs and puts a hand on your shoulder, inadvertently brushing over a bruise you got when you crashed into the road yesterday. A gasp escapes your mouth as you pull back, gritting your teeth in pain.
"You're hurt." Levi clarifies, giving you a sharp look as he pulls his hand back, concern written all over his expression.
"It's nothing." You brush off, lying as you feel another wave hitting the hurt muscles and bone of your upper arm.
"Bullshit. Take that shit off and let me have a look at it." Your captain demands, annoyed at the way you try to hide your wounds from him. You do as being told, carefully brushing off your tunica and shirt, leaving you only in your beige colored brassiere. For a moment, Levi's piercing grey eyes fix on the thin fabric covering you, before they moved upwards, widening at the blueish color of your skin there. The swollen area around the head of your upper arm doesn't help his shock.

"Idiot, that needs treatment." He curses and reaches to his leather back for a special cream they use to treat more serious bruises.
"This better not be a fracture. Can you move your arm and hand?"
"I can, though it hurts a bit." You admit, letting out a small yelp as he treats the front of your shoulder.
"No shit. But there's no numbness in your fingers, is there?" He asks, carefully applying pressure to the hematoma.
"No." You grimace at the uncomfortable sensation, eyes fixed on him as he treats your wounds, just as you did yesterday. The cool night air and the lotion make the hairs on your skin stand up, goosebumps covering it as your nipples harden noticeably in response to the change in temperature.

Captain Levi was also injured during the hunt through Trost and needed stitches by the end of the day. You did him a favor and tried not to be too intimidated by his bare chest, which faced you throughout the ordeal. He noticed the way you looked at his naked form, almost drooling at the sight. Levi rudely reminded you that his chest area didn't need to be examined and that his wounds were elsewhere. He seemed irritated with you, rightfully so, but as of now he's not behaving any differently. The way he looks down from your shoulder to your covered breasts makes your heart jump and you bite your lip nervously, not daring to say anything.
Somehow you relax under his hard fingers and lean back against a tree, letting him take care of the big bruise.
"Is this what Kenny meant by running me? Getting hurt in training or on missions for you?" You speak freely now, gulping at the way he stops in his tracks, a look on his lips. Levi is quiet for a moment, his hand hovering over your heart where he had just applied the suffocating medicine.
"You're naive." He just comments, meeting your eyes only to give you a small smile.
"Didn't your cadet friends talk about sex at all?" You blush at his unfiltered words and look at him wide-eyed. It only clarifies your assumptions about what this Ripper was talking about.
"Of course we did. I'm just trying to connect the dots, that's all." Pursing your lips, you defensively cross your arms over your chest and give him a challenging look, hoping he will take the bait, and to your surprise, he does.

"Amuse me. What do you assume of me now?” He asks, leaning back against the fur of his sleeping bag, daring you to play his little game. You grin proudly and raise your hands to point out what he said before.
"You have needs that would be considered controversial and you consider ruining someone in a sexual way. Combined with what Kenny said, I assume that you -" you pause and lean further back into the tree, feeling like a prey at the way your captain is looking at you.
"-that you have certain sexual fantasies that people don't even dare to think about."
Levi blinks. Once, then twice, before his eyes narrow on you, the expression on his face unreadable. The tension builds as a cool breeze reminds you of where you are and who you're with, but you don't care. All you want now is to feel his warmth and touch. You try to visualize your prophetic dreams again, desperate to know what it is he wants, and after another minute of being devoured by his roving eyes, you can think of something that might fit with what you've seen so far.

"Maybe you like control." You whisper into the darkness, smiling at the way his adam's apple pops. It encourages you to continue.
"You hate it when things are out of place, and I think you might like to put others in place as well." Your words seem to switch something in him and in the blink of an eye he's suddenly right at you, his hands gripping at your scalp harshly.
The sky is completely clear, without a cloud in sight as the moon illuminates your surroundings. You can see the Captain's face clearly now, and feel his hot breath on your cold skin. There is something unhinged in his eyes as he pinned you against the hard wood behind you, scratching your back a little. You scream in pain, but Levi doesn't seem to care.
"How about I put you in your place, hm? You seem to have-” his lips brush against the shell of your ear, as a cold shower washes over your back.
"-forgotten it." A whimper that can only be described as obscene escapes your lips as the Captain's lips brush from your ear to your neck, biting into your skin as they apply gentle pressure.
"Levi." You scream as he bites down harder and hovers over you, pinning you down with his own weight. He covers your mouth with his left hand and pulls at your hair with his right. Overwhelmed, you grind your centre against his, catching him off guard, but the man reacts positively, seeking friction himself. Your body burns, a mixture of pleasure and pain consuming your senses, numbing them from any thought of what's happening. Levi is like a storm on cold winter days; harsh and unforgiving, worshipping and tormenting you at the same time. Leaving no room for resistance, he moves you from under the tree onto the fur of his sleeping back, attacking your lips like a hungry man would his meal.

Your hands squeeze his grey shirt, pulling him close enough to suffocate, your thighs pressing his hips against yours.
"Pretty thing." Levi's heavy breathing hits your face as he brushes your hair aside, grinding his hardened bulge right into your core, making you gasp.
"This will be our little secret, okay?" He demands as he runs his hands over your chest, pulling the fabric covering your nakedness away from his eyes to reveal your breasts, which he immediately clasps like a man possessed. Excited, you close your eyes and lean into his touch. You gasp, calling out his name softly as you beg him for what you are not sure of. Believing that none of your comrades will notice, the two of you continue as Levi's hand moves to your neck, playing gently with the pressure on your windpipe. It fills you with a rush of anxiety, fearing that the loss of breath will be permanent, but the moment you feel lightheaded, Levi loosens his grip, allowing air to fill your lungs again. It's as if he knows exactly when to stop, giving him full control of your body.
While Mike was gentle with you, never daring to touch you beyond fleeting strokes over your clothed self, Levi is the exact opposite, taking what he pleases and needs. He makes you feel conflicted, yet ecstatic at experiencing something so forbidden. He's rough and unforgiving, certainly a hard lover. Captain Levi is not one to lavish you with love or affection, he will show his devotion in other ways. He'll protect you and keep you safe, but he's not afraid to push you just the right amount. Be it in training, commanding or, as of now, pleasuring you.

The cracking sound of a breaking twig instantly freezes you both and you open your eyes wide, looking away from Levi.
"What was that?" You whisper, the rush of lust you felt moments ago suddenly gone as reality seems to clear both your minds.
"It better be an animal." Levi seems a little annoyed as he rolls off you, grabs his gun and stands up. “Get decent.” Is all he says before making his way into the woods, freezing as he feels a pair of cold eyes on him, staring into the back of his head. He glances down at the ground where his subordinates are scattered, all but one fast asleep.

Coal-black orbs meet steel-grey once, a hurricane of emotions so similar meeting in the dark as Levi stares down at Mikasa Ackerman. Her expression speaks volumes, telling him she has seen and heard everything. The grip on his rifle tightens as he feels the dark urge to aim it at her, the actions of his past creeping up on him, daring him to end the life of a witness as he has done so many times before. But the girl makes a simple gesture, closing her eyes and calming her breathing as she pretends to sleep.
Levi curses himself for even considering ending the life of this brat and heads deeper into the forest to clear his head. He'd gone too far again today, but this time it wasn't all his fault, and somehow that makes things worse.

Chapter Text

13th September 850
Tomorrow will be the day we take back Shiganshina and I'm certain we will. I had the opportunity to present a possible strategy to the Commander, the Section Commanders and the Captain in a meeting today. Commander Smith decided to go with my concept and promised me a promotion if it works. The truth is, I don't think I'll need it. My visions end by tomorrow, and I have reason to believe that it will be my last day on Earth. Not only will it be mine, but so many more will die. I find the deaths of Armin and Moblit especially devastating, but I have chosen not to tell them. Their dedication is remarkable, and their loss will compensate for the lives of others.

I thought about talking to Captain Ackerman one last time. Things have been icy between us ever since what happened in the forest, especially after he found out the truth about Kenny Ackerman. Before the killer died, it was revealed that he was Levi's uncle, it must have been devastating for him. I'd be lying about my feelings if I didn't say that my heart flatters every time he looks at me, but things aren't the same anymore. I miss the days when I disliked him, when it was easier to hate him than to love him.

You put the pencil down on the desk and lean back in your seat, relaxing against the wood as you close your eyes. Your muscles ached from training and your head ached from dinner. You had eaten meat for the first time in months, and so had the rest of the scouts and guides, hungry teenagers and adults fighting over a piece of steak or chicken tenders. It was both amusing and exhausting to watch. You sat in between Hange and Marlene while you made fun of them with the other squad leaders Dirk and Klaus. Levi ate quietly and didn't bother to show any form of enjoyment, as usual. Soon after, Klaus declared that he wanted one last night out before the mission, probably expecting it to be his last. Most of the higher-ups agreed, everyone except Captain Levi. He just rolled his eyes at the idea and glared at you when you agreed to join them later that night.

That was a few minutes ago, now you are not so sure it was a good idea. You've never been close to any of the group leaders, except for Levi once. But he made it clear that you were nothing more than his second-in-command, just another squad leader under his comment. His desire for you was apparently short-lived, and now your relationship is nothing but rocky and icy. "He's a sadist." You say to yourself as you get up, grab your cardigan and walk out of your room, following the corridor to the main entrance where you agreed to meet the others. Your mind dances in circles around Captain Levi Ackerman, remembering how seriously he took his training over the past few months, trilling you to the point of exhaustion. You once fell unconscious after he held you in a chokehold for too long.
Ackerman is frustrated and you are the source of his dismay, that much is clear. Though you can't quite put into words what it was that made him angry with you in the first place, it's humiliating and overwhelming not knowing what's going on, it makes you feel like the day you woke up in the infirmary all those years ago: weak.

The walk to the bar is filled with Hange's loud, ecstatic voice and Marlene's happy laughter as the two of them reminisce about the day Levi joined the Corps.
"You should have seen him, Faye! He was so brooding and frustrated with his horse". Marlene remembers, holding back a laugh as she grins at the memory, which makes you smile at the thought. You can only imagine how impatient he was.
"So he hasn't changed much, hugh?" You wonder, turning to Hange just as she throws her arm over your shoulder and pulls you close.
"Nah. He was probably born with a frown on his face. But you must tell us your secret. How do you do that?" They speak in riddles, making you raise an eyebrow at their strange question.
"What do you mean? Do what?" Hange giggles as Marlene appears on the other side of you, her big eyes meeting yours.

"You're the only one he looks at with tenderness." She explains, grinning with excitement at her and Hange's observation. The other squad leaders roll their eyes and give each other a knowing look.
"No, he doesn't!" You argue, finding the thought of Captain Levi Ackerman looking at you like that more than ridiculous.
"Yes, he does! He's all over you." Hange cries with a wide grin as Moblit tries to calm her down, begging her to lower her voice as they pass a group of strangers. Still not believing them, they head for the nearest bar, where music and alcohol are more important than anything else at the moment.

The bar is filled with people, and in one corner musicians are playing a happy tune that seems to put them in a good mood. You know this place well, you've been here almost every weekend with other scouts, hoping to find some sort of escape from your depressing thoughts. Here and there, you have even thought of going with one of these men, just for the sake of distraction, but in the end, you have never allowed the desire for company to get the better of you.
"Nice place." Dirk says, smiling at the happiness that surrounds the place. He's a bit older than Commander Erwin and Captain Levi, something that's rarely seen among the scouts.
"Yes, let's have a drink." Hange says happily, pulling you along as they order something called a "spritzer", a mixture of white wine and sparkling water. You've never tried it before, but you're surprised at how refreshing it is.

Barely tasting the alcohol on your tongue, you order another round, underestimating how it will hit your bloodstream. You feel less exhausted after a few minutes and simply enjoy the moment, closing your eyes for a second to let the atmosphere sink in. After a third cup, Marlene leads you onto the dance floor, takes your hand and happily dances with you. Soon you are joined by the others and for the first time in a long while you feel an emotion you haven't felt for months: happiness.
You are torn from your thoughts as you bump into someone and turn to apologize to the man as your eyes widen in surprise.

"Lauda?" You ask, looking at the former member of Hange's squad in astonishment. During a mission outside the walls, he was injured and lost a leg, which led to his honorable discharge.
"Faye!" The young man shouts through the noisy crowd, smiling as he notices the others. Hange greets him with a hug, while Klaus points to his wooden leg and asks how he's been. After a little chat, Lauda turns back to you with a cheeky smile and offers you his hand.
"Would you like to dance? I may not be as agile as I used to be, but I still know how to have a good time!" He assures you, making you giggle as you take his hand and return his smile. The young man leads you into the middle of the bar, making you turn and twist to the music, while he keeps a steady hand on yours, supporting you as you dance. You start to feel tipsy and by the sixth round you feel the alcohol taking over your senses. The evening may turn out to be even more interesting than you expected.

Levi Ackerman. Rumors of his newfound surname are spreading like wildfire, and combined with the fact that shit is going down tomorrow, the Captain of the Scouts is in desperate need of something heavier than beer. That, and after accidentally overhearing a conversation between Eren and his friends, he certainly needed something strong to clear his head. "The sea." He speaks to himself as he makes his way to the cosy looking bar. Music blares from the open windows as he winces at the sight of people happily dancing in the crowd. He recognises some of the older scouts and just rolls his eyes at their childish behaviour. His thoughts drift away again, trying to imagine what this great body of water might look like. Armin Arlert wants to see the damned thing, and Levi is determined to take the brat there, even though he can't get the thought out of his head that he won't be able to.
As he enters the bar, new thoughts cross his mind as he walks to the bar and takes a seat in the corner, away from the cheering scouts. "They'll drop like flies." He thinks and averts his eyes, the chilling image of none other than himself appearing before his mind's eye. A tightening in his chest as he quickly orders a glass of whiskey, trying to suppress his brain's obsession with you. "Not just my brain." He scoffs at himself, shaking his head as he swallows the burning liquor the bartender shoved down his throat. "She got into my heart too."

As his eyes roam the crowd, Levi orders another glass and fixes them on a drunkenly dancing figure, a woman who, from behind, looks terribly like you. He continues to stare, prying eyes following the swaying hips and floating skirt.
"She's a pretty thing, comes to the bar almost every Saturday." Turning his head, Captain Levi registers the bar owner's words and gives him a dark look. He picks up the glass, turning his head just in time to see the dancing woman turn, and to his shock, it is you. His eyes widen as his throat burns from drinking too much whisky too fast. You are there, dancing with another soldier he recognises as a member of Hange's squad, Lauda. A man with dark, rather long brown hair and a slight build. He remembers him as a squad leader too, though he hasn't seen him since he was injured during a mission. His eyes fix on the prophet on his leg as he shakes his head, wondering how the brat can still move with wood instead of flesh for a foot.

"Every Saturday, you say?" Levi takes another sip, eyeing Lauda suspiciously.
"Don't get your hopes up, Captain. She never takes a man home." He blinks, noticing that the bartender obviously hasn't realised that you're a scout too.
“Plus, I believe she's a bit young, don't you think?” The comment was unnecessary, causing Levi to roll his eyes in annoyance as he swallows the last of his drinks. He takes a few coins from his pockets and places them roughly on the bar with a thud. Not bothering to register the other people in the room, he walks straight up to two trained soldiers, ignoring the way Hange yells at him for being late to the party he hadn't even planned on attending.

With a quick swirl of his hands, he grabs you by the hips and turns you to face him, away from the confused Lauda, who just stares at him with disdain. Your eyes are wide and your cheeks glow red, the smell of wine clinging to your heated body.
"Levi!" Hange's booming voice breaks the awkwardness as he approaches you with a broad smile.
"I didn't think you'd come." Klaus notes with a frown as he carefully observes the way the Captain's hands are placed around your lower abdomen. Levi lets us go when you do, cursing under his breath at the way he's handled the situation. He was far too impulsive and certainly has no right to stop you from dancing with another man, even one of your own age.
"I didn't either." He admits with a deep, frozen look on his face as he locks his eyes with yours, watching you quiver under his steely gaze.
"We need to talk about tomorrow." Levi demands, letting go of your hips to cross his arms over his toned chest.

"Alright guys, let's go get a drink and let the party boomer here scold poor Faye." Hange comments, leading the others, including Lauda, away from you and your captain. The tension is thick, suffocating even, as Levi once again enters your personal bubble to grab your arm and pull you with him.
"You're ridiculous." You insult him as you struggle against his hands on you as he leads you out of the bar into the cool night. The cardigan and the alcohol keep you warm as you feel goose bumps forming on your legs. Your skirt doesn't offer much protection and you can feel Levi's eyes on your exposed skin as a breeze ruffles the fabric. It makes you shiver, but you are not sure if it is because you are cold or because Levi is watching you.
"What did you want to talk about?" You ask quietly, looking at him with dilated pupils as your eyes try to adjust to the darkness. He pushes you into a darkened alleyway, away from prying eyes.
"You come here often?" Surprised, you raise an eyebrow at him.
"Why?" The answer seems uncertain, even hesitant, as you remember that his original reason for separating you from the group was something else.
"I thought you wanted to talk about tomorrow." Questioning Levi is something you wouldn't advise anyone to do, but you're too drunk to follow your own advice.
"Tch. Just answer the question, brat." Captain Levi Ackerman rolls his eyes and doesn't seem at all bothered by the change of subject.
"Yeah. Almost every weekend." You reply quietly, avoiding his piercingly cold gaze as you focus on the pavement beneath your feet. He sighs deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to control his temper. His grip on your hand tightens, obviously unhappy.

"Do you always let men touch you like Lauda did?" Levi demands, gripping you tightly.
"No!" you snap back before hesitating for a second and taking a deep breath. "He just held me."
"Held you? I'm sure he wanted to fuck you." You jump at his vulgar words and look at him with wide eyes.
"Are you jealous?" You ask, scowling at his hypocritical behaviour.
"Don't be ridiculous, Faye." The Captain refuses, biting the inside of his cheek angrily at the lie that has just passed his lips.
"You have no right to judge my actions!" Your voice rises slightly as you continue to argue with Levi, hoping he will leave you alone.
"I should!" He argues back. "If you were mine, I would..." You cut him off with a sneer, mocking him with a fake smile.
"You'd do what, huh? I could have been yours, but you chose to push me away." You screech in pain, the smile falling from your face as you move closer to him.

"I should have known you never really wanted me." That seems to provoke him enough.
"It doesn't matter what I want!" Levi growls at you, clutching your wrist tightly, trying not to lash out, but your words cut into his soul. You whimper at his touch, trying to suppress the urge to cry out in pure pain.
"Don't you understand? I can't let my perversion ruin you, it will only hurt you!" He bites, pulling you deeper into the alleyways, trying to bring your drunken self back to headquarters.
"Perversion, yes, that's right." You exclaim, eyebrows furrowed and flames of suppressed rage in your eyes. "Don't you just love hurting me? Like right now, are you trying to break my fucking wrist, Levi?" You point and slap his hand. To your surprise he lets go and turns to you with a weary expression.

"Yes. I want to hurt you." The truth hits you harder than the freezing air around your legs as you take a step back from him.
"But why?" You shudder, not yet fully understanding the intent behind his desires. You knew that loving him would hurt, he demonstrated as much that night in the woods. Though, you remember moments of lust too, where the pain only added to your arousal.
"I can't explain it." Levi offers honestly, shame colouring his cheeks red. The drinks he downed just a few minutes ago seem to have finally affected him.
"Then can you show me?" A bold question, especially coming from you, considering that you didn't even dare to talk to him about anything non-military for months.
"You don't know what you're asking."

Oh, but you do. Levi has been there ever since you opened your eyes and kept on growing. Even though you haven't seen him for years in the training corps, there's still something that keeps you connected, something that still urges you not to leave his side. It feels wrong to say it out loud, but you know what you are asking. You would let the strongest man in humanity touch you any way he wanted, as long as he made you feel that way again. It's shameful, yes, but somehow you can't help but be drawn to his unorthodox way of lusting after you.

"I do. I think about that night a lot." You confess as you cross your hands behind your back and look at him with your eyes wide open and your heart pounding. Levi watches you, not quite trusting your words.
"You're drunk. I'll take you back to the base." He offers to your disappointment, placing a hand on your shoulder to push you further forward.
"But it's the truth, Levi! Please, I can't stop thinking about you, I need you." It feels pathetic to admit these shameful thoughts, especially with the unreadable expression on his restless face.
"Faye-" His voice seems to be stripped of all self-control, indicating that he is beginning to give in.
"I could be dead tomorrow, please let us enjoy each other just this once."

Levi is stunned, his lips parted in surprise at your demands that seem to mirror his desires. Maybe it's the whisky, or maybe his stupid hormones are the reason for his carelessness, as Levi breaks the distance between you. In a matter of seconds, his hands are around your waist as he pulls you into his arms, his lips crushing against yours. Hot waves hit both of you and you feel his hands move slowly down to your hips, catching you off guard as he gropes your bottom and lifts you up hungrily. Your lips are still locked together, fighting for dominance as you cross your arms and legs around him as if it's second nature. Levi pushes you against a wall, the cold brick pressing into your back as his hands fiddle with the hem of your skirt, pulling it up to reveal your bare legs.
"Captain..." You whimper, breaking the kiss to get some fresh air. Levi's hands grip your thighs tightly, planting a heated kiss under your ear. His hips move into yours and you can feel his hardened member pressing against your damp panties.
"Fuck, look what you're doing to me." He moans, a deep sound escaping his throat as he presses his midsection against you. Pain follows his action as his hands scratch the inside of your leg, leaving you a whimpering mess.
"Needy thing." Levi curses as he catches the sensitive skin of your neck between his teeth, almost drawing blood. You close your eyes, welcoming the burning sensation with a moan of pain and tears. Distracted by his attack, you barely notice his fingers gliding over your clothed core, only opening your eyes in shock as he applies pressure to the area.

"Levi." Saying his name like that under your breath only emboldens him to continue as he brushes the fabric of your underwear aside. The moment his fingers touch your bare clit, a loud yelp escapes you, your mouth opening and closing like it's hard to breathe. And it is, as Levi's free hand wraps around your throat, squeezing it shut.
"You're too loud." He complains with an amused smile, looking around to make sure no one has heard your obscene screams. Captain Levi has lived a truly selfless life these past few years, he deserves this, he deserves to indulge you, Levi tells himself.

Your breath is ragged as his fingers push through your tightness, splitting you open slightly. It's hard to breathe, but with the way his fingers push into you, you don't care. Your belly burns with heat and a deceptive lust that washes over you in intense waves as Levi adds another digit to fill you even more. The hand around your neck loosens and moves quickly to your shoulder, stabilising you against the wall. You breathe in hard, still feeling dizzy from the loss of air. All you can manage is a desperate whimper as your arms squeeze tightly against him, trying to hold on to him.

Wet sounds ring in your ears as Captain Levi increases the speed of his fingers, curling and splitting them in a way that leaves you numb with pleasure. You are a mess, breathing heavily and biting your lips as you feel a tight knot forming in your stomach. You arch your back, your chest touching his as your head rolls back into your neck. You feel your muscles clench around him, your high leaving you breathless, a ragged whimper breaking through your throat as your nails dig into Levi's neck. His hand grabs your hair, pulling at it as you ride out your ecstasy.

You wish this moment could last forever, but it ends too soon as Levi quickly pulls out of you, forcing you down onto the rocky pavement. He takes his time to clean his hand from your silky release as he looks down at you, your legs shaking from the aftermath, bruises and marks covering your sweaty skin.
"You won't die tomorrow." Levi speaks in a cool voice, brushing back his dark hair.
"This was just a taste. Maybe I'll give you more when things are finally over." His words promise a possible next time, but you can't help but feel a deep step in your heart as he walks away, leaving you to sit there in the dark alley, drained and alone.

Chapter Text

Shiganshina could be so beautiful. There are wide lands, rivers and plenty of space for all the homeless refugees that currently either live in Rose, Sina or the underground city. You know it will spring back to life in just a year, you know that humanity will win today, but to what cost? Shiganshina is a forsaken hell, the souls of hundreds of soldiers will hound this district by the end of the day and yours might be part of it.

So far, everything has gone according to plan. Eren has successfully closed the outer gate and Armin has discovered something even you didn't see in your visions: Reiner and Bertolt are hiding inside the walls. A clever skit, you won't deny that. While most of the scouts check the surface of the wall, you stand at Levi's side and observe the situation.
"Tell me they will succeed." He speaks almost wearily, looking at you for the first time since last night. Your mood towards him is still sour, so you look at him sideways.
"I don't know. Though I've seen glimpses of this particular scenario. They'll attack soon." You explain, drawing the attention of Erwin, who exchanges a knowing look with Captain Levi. The smaller man nods his head curtly, watching the situation unfold before him as a smoke grenade fires into the air near him.
"Right here! This part of the wall is hollow!" The soldier closest to you shouts, catching Levi's attention as he draws his blade, ready to attack.

In a matter of seconds, everything collapses. Reiner appears out of nowhere and kills the soldier instantly. Next to you, the Captain jumps into action, using his ODM to fly down the wall. You gasp as his blade cuts into Reiner's neck and chest, causing his body to fall to the ground. But he's not dead, you don't know how, but it must be some kind of Titan ability. Levi notices too, cursing under his breath as he backs away from the spamming body on the ground. The strange situation comes to mind as you remember what's going to happen next.
"Behind us!" You scream at the same time as Commander Erwin tells his soldiers to keep their eyes open. Confused, Hange looks at you and opens her mouth to ask what you mean when golden lights blind you. Everyone turns their attention from the freshly-armoured titan in the direction of the source of the light, panic written on their faces.

You turn to face the Beast Titan and his army of what they call Abnormal Titans. There is nothing you can do but watch as the monkey grabs a large, round stone and swings it at the still-open inner gate.
"Incoming boulder! Get down!" The commander warns as his soldiers all drop to the ground except you. You know there's no need, as the beast wasn't aiming to kill, but to block the supply chains and eliminate the horses. Erwin seems to have read the idea of the intelligent titan as well, explaining to his soldiers the true purpose of his move.
"They have another intelligent titan. It's the quarterback type." Armin and Levi let out a sound of surprise at their commander's remark and looked at him with wide eyes.
"Though there may be others." He suspects as you step to his side and shake your head.

“Stop being a brat and get a grip of yourself.” Levi growls and takes your hand into his, surprising you and his Commander who is quietly watching the strange scenario unfold in front of him.
“Levi.” You say his name like it might be the last time you see him and right now you truly think it might be. Tightening your own grip on his hand you give him a small smile before you part away from him.
“I promise to bring as many of them back as possible.” You answer his first question saluting to him as sadness fills your eyes. You take a moment to observe him a last time, butterflies grazing your insides at the way he returns your longing look.
“I wish we had more time.” Is the last thing you say, as you strike into battle, using your gear to follow after your comrades.

You leave Levi feeling empty and perhaps he deserves it for doing the same thing yesterday. His eyes linger on the spot you just stood at, as he feels something strange pull on his heart. It feels like you just took a part of himself with you and he doesn't like that at all.
“I didn't know you two were involved. Honestly, I am surprised.” Erwin comments smiling at his friend warm heartedly.
“Tch. We weren't.” Is all Levi has to say before he leaves as well, into a different direction than you and he deeply hopes that you are wrong about your visions, because he won't be able to deal with another death otherwise.

Heavy breaths escape your lungs as you land on the ground, your eyes on the seemingly dead Reiner Braun. His nape is blown off and his body not moving as the thunder spears have done the trick to defeat him. You gape at the body you once thought to be a friend of yours until you predicted his betrayal to humanity. You wonder if he knew you before all of this, as he works closely with the beast titan. He might have, otherwise he would have killed you the moment he found out about your special gift. You appreciate the fact that he didn't though, which makes you now feel a little uneasy at the sight of his still armored titan. The others cheer, happy about the accomplishment of having defeated the traitor and enemy. But you know that it's not over yet, soon Bertolt will make his presence clear and as long as your visions hold truth it will take too many lives. Could you save them? Could you prevent it?

You look up into the sky, white clouds covering the endless blues as wind blows through your hair. But something breaks the picture; a round object cutting through the air at high speed, it's oddly shaped form spinning and swirly.
“What's that?” You hear a member of Hanges squad ask, perplexed as to why a barrel is thrown over Shiganshina.
“Not good.” You whisper as you notice something or rather someone crawl out of said wooden barrel, making you instantly look up to your squad which has taken its position on the rooftops.
"Hey! Go to Eren and stay with him. I don't want to see any of you running around freely.” You demand, sounding almost as harsh as Levi, but it has the desired effect as your friends quickly use their ODM to manoeuvre towards the attack titan. You, on the other hand, stay on the ground and walk towards the collapsed armoured titan. You need to make sure that Reiner is dead, because if he's not, you'll be in big trouble later on.

Hange leads her squad into the air, telling them to follow Bertolt's lead. Ignoring her, you take each step as you approach Reiner, your heart pounding. If he weren't already dead, you'd have to kill him now, and while you feel conflicted at the thought of having to face him and kill him, deep down you know it's the only way to save at least a few lives today. The moment you reach the titan's body, a yellow light colours your surroundings as your eyes widen in shock. Loud, electric thunders and explosions fill your eardrums and you twist your body at the same moment as the radius of the colossal Titan's transformation hits you, its wave whipping you back with such force that it takes your breath away.

Your body is a limb, ripped from the ground as the surrounding buildings shatter from the shockwave, its pieces colliding with your body, ripping your skin and breaking your leg as an ugly scream escapes your lips. There's barely time to register what's happening to you, yet it feels like time has been slowed down as you're hurled through the air in slow motion. Nothing is there, yet all at once your head is filled with memories of the past three years. But this time it's not a vision, no, this time it's your life passing by, showing you the last moments of your life. A few seconds later, you crash into a wall of rocks, stopping your body from spinning any further.

Your head hits the rock, and your shoulder blade and rib cage take most of the fall, fracturing them as well. It feels like the air is being forcefully squeezed out of your lungs as your body slowly slides down the wall, leaving a red trail of blood behind it. Your eyes slowly close as your head lolls forward, your limbs buckling as the right elbow of your arm sinks into a subluxation. "Is this it?" You wonder, coughing for air as the darkness swallows you into a deep hole.
"Is this the end?"

Levi is exhausted. He's covered in titan blood and he's damn tired. The hood's inhuman liquid slowly turns to smoke as he finishes off the last stupid humanoid creature that used to be human.
"Fuck." He curses as he realises that he doesn't even have time to take a break as the blonde lunatic who owns the Beast Titan has fled the scene with the help of the cart titan. With the last of his strength, he uses his equipment to climb the wall that stands between him and the last of the soldiers. He hopes at least some of them survived, after all he didn't quite have time to follow the events inside the walls.
He lands on the wall not as gracefully as he usually does, breathing heavily as he looks down at the roofs of the district, quickly noticing the strange image in front of him. There, not far from him, on one of the rooftops, are Eren Yeager and the traitor Bertolt Hoover, their bodies facing another building on which the enemy titan is hovering, carrying the bastard who killed his comrades. Exhausted, Levi lets himself slide over the edge, falling freely down the wall before activating the grapple and securing his fall on the nearest wall. His gas is low and his blades are basically useless at this point, while his body is severely weakened. He crashes to the roof where Eren is holding Bertolt, a heavy breath escaping his lungs as he turns to the boy, stressed. He could still make it.
"I've used the last of my gas. Quick, give me your equipment so I can go after him." He holds out his hand and at the same time notices another body behind Yeager. He can't make out who it is, it's badly burned and unrecognisable. But Levi doesn't have time to speculate now, his first priority is to finish off the ape like titan.
"Hurry!" He urges at the same time as a choked cough rings through the air and to his surprise the burnt body moves slightly, its chest heaving into the air as blood flies from its open mouth. Eren's eyes widen in sheer shock as he slowly turns to face the horrifying sight. The boy immediately jumps to his friend, screaming at him to keep going, to survive. The image is heartbreaking and sickening, it stinks in Levi's heart as he watches the scene, barely noticing that Mikasa has arrived at his side.

"Captain! Get the syringe!" Eren cries in panic, tears running down his cheeks in utter despair. Levi looks down, averting his eyes from his subordinate with a dark expression on his face. "Turn Armin into a titan, then we can let him eat Bertolt." He pleads with Captain Levi, clutching desperately at Hoover's unconscious body.
"Hurry up and inject him!" Ere's voice is high and full of sorrow as he can't understand why his role model isn't responding to his pleas. It takes Levi a moment to realise that the boy is right, and that Erwin would have wanted it this way, before he slips his hand under his coat and pulls out a small metal box from his inner pockets.
"Right." is all he dares to say as he offers it to Eren. He has to face the fact that there is no way he will be able to follow the wagon and the beast titan now, and it would at least be a victory if they got the colossal one in the process.

Another gasp makes the Captain pause and look to the side of the roof, where he notices a pair of hands appearing on the edge. This time, it's his turn to gulp down the body secured to Floch Forster's back.
"Levi, Captain," the new scout whispers, happiness colouring his features as he climbs up the roof with the last of his strength, the barely alive body of none other than Captain Erwin Smith slung over his shoulders.
“I finally found you. It's the Commander. He's hurt! His stomach is gouged and his insides are all torn to shreds. The blood just won't stop."
Erwin is terribly pale and there is hardly any sign of life in him. Still, Levi feels a knot in his stomach as he realises what this would mean for his dear friend and the scouts. He would be able to save the Commander, the man who has led the Scouts to greatness in recent years. It would mean that his dream would come true and that he would finally see the world out there, something he has been fighting for all these decades. He glances at Floch and the others for a moment, realising that his decision would determine their future. He needs your opinion now, otherwise this wont work out to humanities benefit.

"Where is Faye?" He asks aloud, glaring at Mikasa with a troubled look in his cold eyes.
"I need her to tell me the outcome of this." Levi immediately recognises the expression on his possible cousin's face, the way it trains from colour as she opens and closes her mouth. His heart ages at the realisation of what her silence means, and his body stiffens as another wave of sadness rises in his chest. Swallowing his inner torment and pain, Levi pulls back his still outstretched hand as he presses the box against the heavy pressure he feels on his chest. Trying to clear his mind of the outrageous images of the many ways your life could have ended, he turns his full attention to Private Forster, helping him lay Erwin down on the hard bricks of the roof.

"He's weak, but he's breathing." He announces, feeling a faint breath of air against his hand as he checks his status.
"Erwin, you are alive." Speaking the truth into the silence makes him feel the urge to seek you out, to see for himself if you're still alive. Maybe Mikasa was wrong and he could save you instead. But deep down, Levi knows that it would take too much time, and in the end, it would take away their chance to fully transform someone into the colossal titan.
"You know it has to happen. Erwin gets the shot." Levi finally says out loud what's been on everyone's mind as Eren growls in pure aggression and stands up to tower over Levi. Sadness consumes him, while Levi is filled with numbness. He lets Eren speak his mind, but doesn't break under the betrayal he's just slapped in the titan shifter's face.

"I will revive the person who can save humanity." His words cut deep, pushing Mikasa over the edge as she pulls her blade free and stares at her Captain with an emotion he's never seen before: fear.
He knew the two brats wouldn't be compliant, but he hadn't expected them to attack him in another argument about his decision. He is able to fend off Eren, hitting him on the cheek with the box as force and gravity play their part in knocking him down hard, but he isn't so lucky with Mikasa, as she throws his already strained body off and hovers over him with her blade at his blow. She cries in agony, fighting Levi with tears in her eyes that remind him far too much of the same pain he endured when he saw his friends die all those years ago. He feels their pain, but he can't help them and plays into their hands. Even now, when Eren begins to remind him of Armin Arlert's great spirit, he still can't give in, not when there is a chance to save his leader, his own friend.
But there is something Floch says that catches his attention. "If we're going to stand a chance against the Titans, we need a devil! I realised that's what Erwin is." Levi's eyes widen again at the realisation. Yes, Erwin is the devil and you were his pawn, his little ace to play when things didn't go as planned. You saw him die, Erwin knew he was going to die and yet he decided to go ahead with his plan to retake Wall Maria. Levi must accept the fact that Erwin came here to fight one last time, to bring victory to humanity at the cost of his own life. His death was written in faith, and who was Levi to question what was decided for Erwin in the first place?
With the appearance of Hange and the rest of his team, Levi is freed from the hysterical girl, now held back by his only other living friend. He prepares the syringe, looking between Armin and Erwin, teeth gnashing and a frown on his bloodied face. He blocks out Mikasa's sobs and Hange's loud, arguing voice to concentrate on his decision. His eyes dart from one to the other as he closes them for a second, trying to imagine what would happen if he used it on the wrong one. In the end, Levi makes up his mind, and much to everyone's surprise, it's not Erwin who gets the shot. It was a close call, but Levi remembered: Erwin has become the devil and led hundreds to their deaths to reach the cellar. He has chosen his own death, and Levi won't be the one to follow him back to hell.

Having discovered and secured the interior of Dr Yeager's cellar, they have decided to collect the bodies of the fallen in the hope of burying as many as possible. Hange's entire squad, including Moblit, have been decimated by the colossal titan's transformation, their bodies reduced to ashes. The majority of the dead are within Wall Maria, and they would certainly need help to bring them all back to their families.
"Mikasa. Where is her body?" Levi asks the black-haired soldier, his voice raspy and his body aching from the war. Mikasa and Jean exchange a look, as the taller one sights and gestures to the Captain to follow after him.
"She was about to kill Reiner when Bertolt transformed. The blast was too strong and she crashed into a wall. Before that she told us to stay with Eren to be safe." He informs Captain Levi, clear sadness breaking through his usually cocky voice.

After walking around the block, Levi stops and stares straight ahead, his eyes locked with a hunched figure lying in an unnatural crouch under a blood-spattered wall.
"I'll leave you alone." Jean offers in a hushed voice and slowly backs away, giving his captain the space he needs. None of his subordinates knows the nature of their relationship, although there have been quiet rumours since Eren's trial. The fact that Mikasa Ackerman saw them in the woods all those nights ago certainly didn't help their case. Levi slowly makes his way to your body, his heart pounding against his chest as he reaches you, the silence slowly becoming suffocating.

The first thing he notices is your dislocated leg and shoulder, then the many cuts and scratches all over your body. Your head and face are covered in your own blood from a severe head wound. Your skin underneath is pale and drained of all colour. He remembers how you blushed at him, making him feel even sicker. Levi slowly breaks down, falling to his knees as he closes his eyes, trying to keep the tears from breaking through his lids, but it's no use. When he opens them again, a few drops find their way out and roll down his cheeks as he finds it impossible to breathe.

Captain Levi leans down, devastated by the sight of your motionless body. You told him your visions would end today, and that you always suspected your end was near. He didn't believe you, or rather, he didn't want to. How could he?
"I'm sorry." He whispers as he leans down to hold you to him one last time. The first thing he notices is that your skin is warm, not cold like his dead mother's hand. The second thing he finds to be strange is that your fragile form has had the rigor mortis to set in just yet and it must have already been three hours since your passing.

But then he feels it, the faint breath leaving your lips, tingling his cheek and the barely perceptible rise and fall of your chest. At first Levi thought his mind was playing a morbid trick on him, but after checking again Evi is sure that's not the case.
"Faye!" He shouts, gripping your shoulder as if to shake you awake. But it's no use, because Levi is already thinking about his next move. He simply scoops you up in his arms and quickly makes his way to his comrades, a mixture of relief and a furry twist in his stomach.

Whoever confirmed your 'death' will have to face the consequences as the Captain sees fit.

Chapter Text

Year 847, Liberio

Being Eldian always came with some sort of discrimination or abuse of your genetics. You weren‘t allowed to the nicer parts of the city or were discriminated against by the officer that controlled the slums of Liberio. And being an Eldian in the military could only bring one option: death. They would use your genetics to turn you into titans, pure or intelligent ones. Now they have found a new way to abuse their power and sick fascination about your kin. Your father, Diether Fritz, is a direct descendent of King Fritz. With blood being thicker than water, you were born with the same abilities as him, his sister and your cousin Zeke.

When your dear cousin betrayed his parents and your family, he told the government about your royal heritage, forcing your father to continue producing heirs. As a child you didn’t mind, your poor mother gave birth to your siblings and in the end it killed her. The government didn’t care and would have forced him to re-marry for their little fucked up project to work, if it wasn‘t for you to cut the line right there. Your father was a mess after your mother’s death and your siblings too young to understand the severity of the situation. You agreed to take part in one of their projects, selling yourself off so you could save your family from poverty. The project included to transfer your mind into the paths and order your creator, Ymir Fritz, to lend you a part of her power: foresight. You would use it for warships and predict Marley's outcome in conflicts, allowing them to manipulate the future with it. They told you they would honor you and your family, yet you know that you would end up like your mother someday. That’s all you are good for in the end.

The procedure takes place in a medical laboratory, a stoney building connected to the main hospital of Liberio. Your heart raises as you follow after your cousin and another soldier, the corridors of the building offer no way to run, as they are not particularly spacious. The light in the room you are led into is dimmed down and there is only a single table placed in the middle of it, one that is usually used for surgeries. Your boyfriend and potential husband, Leon Klein, is actually studying in this facility. While he would never reach popularity with his science as an eldian-born, you still have fond memories of the day he was accepted to the hospital. Now you fear his studies will be the end of your life.

“It's honorable of you to offer Marley your body.” Zeke, your cousin, speaks, placing a hand on your shoulder as he smiles. You swallow, glaring at the table with fear. You are disgusted by the way Zeke has changed from an innocent boy to a narcissistic asshole. “You know I'm only doing this so my family won't end up like your parents.” You spit with hatred, pulling away from the blonde's ugly grip. He looks a lot like his mother, your auntie Dina. You always adored her, she was kind to you and a good sister to your father, who looks much like her. You have taken similarity to your mother in looks, shape and height.

Dina and her husband Grisha were part of an illegal Eldian organization that plotted after Marley. To this day you are not sure what had exactly happened to them, but you sure as hell know it was Zeke's fault. As a child you enjoyed his company, now you despise it. You haven‘t been in contact with him for a while, but he sure has changed since the last time you saw him. He no longer is that weak warrior boy that had no chance in surviving on the battlefield. He owns the beast titan now and holds a high position in the military. “

I'm well aware. Though it still benefits Marley, don’t you think? Who knows? Maybe it might benefit you too.” He tries to encourage you, but you only roll your eyes at him and follow the other soldier into the room. You don't even wish him goodbye. How could this benefit you? Seeing the future sure could be useful, but what if you only see the horrors it holds? The next hour is filled with doctors and scientists leaving and entering said room, while they examine you. Leon is not one of them. After having to remove your clothes and feeling humiliated to be stared at by all those perverted old men, you are able to redress in your original clothes; a simple blouse and a brown skirt. The gynecological checkup was the worst of them all and you know that they only did it, to check if you are fertile enough to give them more children of royal Eldian blood one day. “

We will be able to offer you access to the paths through an extract of your cousin's titan spinal fluid. We have tested it with many probands before, you won't turn into a titan.” A scientist explains to you, as you lay down on the uncomfortable table, your hands folded on your stomach as you watch the sealing. “In the paths you can call out for Ymir, the devil that has created your breed. Demand of her to give you the gift of foresight.” Your face shifts as you look at him estranged; a frown has taken over expression at the same time.
"Oh sure, led me just demand something of the founding titan herself.” You snap at the man sarcastically, feeling that his request is ridiculous and not possible to fulfill.

“You are a silly gal, Miss Fritz. If she was able to give the titans and the Ackerman’s their powers on demand, why would she gatekeep them from you? You are of royal blood and will possess parts of titan spinal fluid in you in a few minutes. She can't deny you a simple demand.” The scientist must be a crazy, old man, you decide and simply close your eyes to prepare yourself for the injection. If this won't work, you'd probably end up dead or as a titan. You hope for the later one, as you would use it to kill all of them off as a form of revenge. The injection itself stinks a little, but otherwise doesn't hurt you. The liquid spreading inside your bloodstream on the other makes you feel hot and cold at the same time, while an excruciating headache blinds your senses.

Your vision blackens, as you scream out from the pain, but the moment it takes over your head it is already gone, and you open your eyes only to be faced with a beautiful night sky. You are no longer lying on metal, instead your body is placed into the finest sand you have ever felt. It is warm and feels comfortable on your exposed legs. You sit up and look at the wide fields of eternity that are forming what is called the paths. A realm unknown to mankind that connects all the subjects of Ymir. Awe struck by its beauty you take in the sight of the paths and watch the star filled sky with admiration. “It worked.” You whisper, as you look straight ahead and take a moment to observe the numerous stars and northern lights that offer the dark sky above you a dreamily pattern. “Beautiful.” You whisper and stand up, feeling the sand fall from your back and hair onto the ground.

The moment you turn into a different direction, you notice two things: light shaped into the form of a tree and a girl standing not too far away from you. Her skin is pale, her eyes empty and her hair blonde. She wears a white tunic that must have been worn by the humans 2.000 years ago. This girl must be Ymir, you just know from looking at her.
“Are you my creator? Are you Ymir?” You softly ask into her direction, but she doesn't answer, only looks at you with silence. You decide to walk closer to her, wondering if she might not have heard you. “I'm sorry to ask this from you, but I need you to gift me the power of foresight. Help me save my family, please.” You plead, stepping closer to her as you kneel in front of the girl. You assume she's a mute, as she doesn't make any attempt to answer you.

The both of you don't dare to move and you only look into the empty stare of her sad face. Concerned, you are about to ask if she is alright, but you notice the way she slowly and carefully stretches her small hand out towards you and you decide to keep your mouth shut, not feeling like overstepping her boundaries. A flash of yellow light makes you unable to see for a moment, as you feel her finger touching your forehead. The next thing you feel is electricity running through your whole body, tingling your insides in an uncomfortable way. You open your mouth in shock and try to pull away from her, but something keeps you at the spot, luring you even closer to her as pain shots through your head. The yellow light gets more and more blinding as you close your eyes and scream out from the sudden, intense headache that seems to consume every nerve of your body. But the moment it all hits you it’s gone. And with that your memories as well. As you open your eyes again, a wave of confusion consumes you.

“Where am I?” You ask, looking around at the men dressed in white coats standing around you. Panic settles in your chest and gut, as you notice that you are cuffed against a table. What happened? “Miss you are back at the hospital, remember? Have you met your creator?” A man speaks to you, a stressed expression on his old face as he exchanges looks with his colleagues. “My creator? Who are you? Let me go!” You start pulling on the leather cuffs aggressively, stressed by the fact that these people keep you strained down and Angst about the thought that your head seems to be empty of any memories. Long story short they had to sedate you and when you wake up again you are outside of the walls, hungry and not able to recall any event of your life.

Year 851, coast region of Paradis

It has been a while since you haven woken up from your coma. A lot happened during that time, first and foremost you regained your memories of your past while Eren unlocked those of his father. The two of you were able to connect as you seem to share a family with his father and half-brother Zeke. Armin survived, much to your surprise, gained the power of the colossal titan in the process. Its proof that your visions can change. Wall Maria has been cleared of most titans and humans now repopulating the territory. There is also more food to eat now that animals and plants have space to grow again. Another thing you were surprised to learn about was your promotion to a Lieutenant, you certainly jumped a few ranks there, but Levi forced the idea on Queen Historia and Commander Hange none the less, as it was the “least they could do after letting you down”. His words, not yours.

A week ago, squad Levi and Commander Hange have started the expedition to the ocean, following Eren’s lead as he knew the direction from his father's memories. You weren't as useful as you hoped, as you were unconscious when they threw you off the wall. Apparently, they tried to turn you into a titan, but as it turns out you are incapable of doing so, since Ymir's gift has messed with your genes a little too much. You are similar to the Ackerman clan and after realizing that, they just hoped a titan would rip you into shreds and leave, but the titans never hurt you, no, it seems like they have protected you and brought you closer to the walls. A scary thought, yet it's the only plausible one, since your royal blood and gift of Ymir seem to work as a protection for yourself.

Just a few days after you found the ocean, the first thirty-two scout ships of Marley arrived at the coast. It was the first vision you had after waking up from your coma and you were happy to learn that your abilities have returned to you. To your luck there was an anti-marley movement on the first ship, helping you to overpower the warriors sent by Marley. Their leader, Yelena, a relatively tall woman with short blonde hair and her second in command, Onyankopon, have started discussing plans with the Captain and Commander, making sure to arrange potential alliances.

While Commander Hange, Connie and Jean rode back to inform the rest of the military, you and the rest of your squad, including Levi, stayed to watch the troops of Marley. You and Levi take the time to have some privacy, while Eren, Armin and Mikasa have an eye on the warriors. The Captain has asked you to walk with him and ever the obeying soldier you are you followed him. Your way has led the two of you to the coastline, where you are currently taking a break to watch the sunset and beautiful waves. You spread out your green capes on the sandy and slightly grassy underground, so Levi wouldn't get his uniform all dirty.
“At least sand won't leave stains.” He comments, brushing off the small corns off the cape with an irritated look. You just grin at his reaction, leaning back on to your elbows, while you hold your upper body up to enjoy the slowly fading rays of sun.
“Don't laugh at me.” Levi demands with a roll of his eyes, carefully letting his gaze wander over your face and body. It makes your smile instantly drop, as you feel threatened by humanity's strongest. “Why are we here Captain?” You ask in a serious tone, still wondering why he led you all this way to this quite place. It's far away from the others and you are only able to see the ships of Marley in the distance. You haven't even realized how far away he has led you, as he demanded of you to tell him stories of your past.
“You and I haven't had much time to talk about what happened before we left for Shiganshina.” He admits, his moody facial expression turning into a flustered one. There are a handful of incidents that have led you to your current situation and relationship, uncertainty playing a major part in both.

“That's true.” Is the only thing you can say, a nervous flush covering your cheeks as you think back about the last time you were alone with him. It was the night before the Survey Corps has lost the majority of its people in Maria. You remember vaguely how you and the squad leaders got drunk in a lovely bar you used to go to. And you remember vividly the way Levi has pleasured you with his rough nature. “There was a time where I promised myself to not regret the decisions I choose to make. And for a good amount of time, it worked out well for me.” He starts to explain, his stare trailing off into the distance as he appears to be deep in thought.
“Yet I find myself regretting things I have said to you.” The words cut deep, and you gulp at him, giving him room to speak his mind freely as you are only able to stare at him.
“I feel so fucked up for feeling aroused when you are vulnerable.” He admits, pain reflecting the inner conflict in his cold eyes. “But you would never force yourself onto me or seriously hurt me.” You state confidently, taking his hand into yours as you try to offer him support, trying to calm his inner torment. His expression sours at the thought and he shakes his head.

“No. Never have I even considered to do something as vile as that.” You smile at his words, squeezing his hand a little tighter to catch his attention, his gaze landing on your face as he turns to look at you. “See. You are a good man, Levi. You care for those close to you. I don't mind if you like it your way occasionally.” Trying to reassure him isn't easy, Levi is stubborn headed, and you won't be able to change his mind with only a few words.
“The night before we left for Maria you mentioned something that has been in my mind for a while.” You say in a quiet manner, not once letting go from his hand, a simple gesture the two of you haven't shared yet. Still Levi finds comfort in it, intertwining your fingers with each other. “Yeah, what was it?” He asks, glad that you engage with his concerns. Your relationship might have been full of hatred and disrespect for each other, but the two of you came a long way and after everything that has happened Levi feels happy to have you in his life. “You indicated something that included me being yours.” You pause, trying to read the expression on his face because you don't want to trigger a sensitive spot. “I guess I did.” Levi simply shrugs it off, giving his attention back to a few stronger waves that hit the shore.

“Well, I was wondering what it might include to be yours.” There: you did it, you asked a question that had been nagging on you none stop since you awoke from your coma. Your interactions with Levi have been limited to your mere roles as leader and subordinate, yet you couldn't help but exchange fleeting stares and touches. Levi blinks at you once, then twice, before he clears his throat. You notice his ears to take on a slightly red blush, as he tries to compose himself.
“I don't know to be honest.” He answers with pure honesty, scratching the back of his head as he awkwardly exchanges a look with you. “While I did have my fair share of, well, romantical exchanges, I never had the opportunity to call one of those women mine.” Levi admits, leaning back onto the coat as he thinks back to his old days. You nod your head, wondering how many women he has laid with in the past. Not that you would care, but it still interests you.

“I had a boyfriend before all of this happened.” You confess, nervously playing with a lock of your hair as you remember the young man. At that Levi noticeably stiffens, his hand tightening around yours. “His name was Leon. I never officially ended things with him.” You notice, wondering if he still thinks about you after all those years. It must have been devastating for him, knowing the same organization that he studies for has deposit of you after a failed experiment.
“Are you trying to tell me that I flirted with a taken woman?” Levi halfheartedly jokes, frowning at you with clear mixed feelings.
“Does it really matter? Sure, I loved him, but after I witnessed what Marley did, what my people did to you, I don't feel like going back to that old life.” You admit, smiling at Levi with comfort as you move closer to him, turning your body so you could face him better.

“That night back in Trost you promised me something, remember?” Your suggestive comment catches him off guard, making Levi look at you wide eyed with surprise. “I did.” He agrees, warily about the way you grin at him, excitement twinkling in your starstruck eyes.
“Don't you want to keep your promise?” You tease, cheeks red as your thoughts dance circles around the possible outcome of this. You are alone with your Captain who has awakened something deep inside of you. Something you haven't known existed or felt before. It's like a field of flowers blooming up inside of you, attracting bees to drink from your nectar. You want Levi and you will gladly take him with all his imperfections. Levi stares at you, a wild storm of emotions overtake his usual neutral expression.

“Faye.” He speaks, voice toned down as he looks around, making sure that nobody has followed you out here.
“You can't possibly ask me to take you right here.” He deadpans with a roll of his eyes, making you giggle at the way he shies away from the mere thought of it.
“Come on Captain. Wouldn't that be lovely? We finally achieved what we've been fighting for. Celebrating it would only be-” you lean in, getting close to his ear as you take a breath at the way his hair and skin smell like sea. “-natural.” At your action a cut off sound escapes him, something that awfully comes close to a whimper.

“You are playing a dangerous game.” Levi warns, turning his head to face you directly. Your lips are close to touch, while his fingers break the contact from your hand, it's dips wandering over your bare underarm. You wear a short-sleeved blouse and your standard white uniform pants, this time without your gear. Shuddering under his touch, you close your eyes in anticipation and let his hand wander over your arm up to your shoulders until he places it in the nape of your neck, applying a firm pressure on it to guide you forward.
“Tch. Aren't you a desperate little minx?” The deep groan he leaves as you yourself start to take action and start touching his covered chest, leaves you with a warm feeling in your gut. As your lips finally meet, you instantly fall into a hungry pattern, your teeth clashing together while your tongues battle for control. A hot shower washes over your body, while Levi's hands grip and grope at you, harshly taking you down with him. His hands pull at your blouse, accidentally ripping a bottom from its string, but you could care less at the moment. Levi's breath quickens and turns heavier when your middle rolls up against his pelvis in anticipation, seeking stimulation to feet that intense longing.

“Mhm. Fuck.” He groans as your lips part and your eyes open. Both of your faces are flushed, and your lips share the same bloodshot color, while his bare hands feel hot against your own warm skin. Levi helps you get rid of the fabric against your upper body and pulls the pants from your legs, leaving you in nothing but your undergarments. It's a simple bralette in an off-white color with matching panties, nothing special, but it seems to irk Levi on. He obsesses over clean fabrics and seeing you writhing underneath him in a fresh pair of cotton underwear does things to him. It reassures him in his description to have chosen you: a clean and organized young woman. After he took a minute to just look you up and down, he takes his time to open the bottoms on his dress shirt as well, teasing you in the process as he's going way too slow at it for your taste. A whine escapes your lips at the way he rolls against you while he gets rid of his shirt, revealing his bare chest for you to gawk at. There are a few old scars littered across his chest, indicating a past of pain, but he doesn't give you any more time to look at his perfectly sculptured breast. His fingers grab for your chin, lifting it up so you would be forced to look into his eyes. His usual cold eyes gleam with a fire you haven't seen before, a passion unlike anything you have ever visited. Levi leans down, leaving a trail of kisses and love bites down your neck and chest area. He pulls the breast coverage from your upper body, exposing your stiffened skin for him to see and gawk at. You feel overwhelmed by his body so close to yours, his lips all over yourself and his hands touching you greedily.

“Please-” You bring out while there is a burning desire pooling up between your legs.
“What was that? What are you pleading for?” He asks, playing confused with a cocky little smile on his lips. Skillfully his fingers wander over your abdomen, a surprising slow and loving action, making a mewl leave your lips, your eyes closing. But as quick as the sweet touch came it was gone again. You pry your lids open just the moment he lets his flat hand slap between your spread legs, a painful feeling spreading over the sensitive area as your eyes widen in shock.
“Ouch, what the hell.” You blur out, dizzy with the new sensation that makes you want to squeeze your tights together.

“Go on, plead with me to devour you.” You gasp as he pulls your panties from your legs, leaving you lying naked and bare underneath him. Your hair is spread out on the green cloak, while your skin is flushed and hot, your chest heaving as you moan. This time his flat hand lands on the side of your hip, daring another yelp from your lips.
“Beg me to fuck you.” Levi demands, voice deep with wanton for you. There is a noticeable bulge in his pants, a stiff tent that his calling for attention. You mean to touch him, but his hand pins down your wrist onto the sand, a small but confident smirk spreading over his lips.
“Beg.” He repeats, enthralled by the idea of you begging him to ruin you. And you comply, following his every word as you start entreating him to keep going. He does so gladly, overwhelming you with his digits as they softly brush over your middle. You wiggle underneath him, as his one hand is still pinning you down, not giving you the chance to touch him yourself “Levi.’” You plead, eyes closed, and lips parted.

A desperate, shameful whine escapes them, as not one, but two of his fingers enter you, easily gliding in as you are already wet and ready from anticipation.
“Hm, fuck.” He groans, swiftly pulling out again only to leave you empty and waiting. “You don't even need preparation.” He notes in a husky tone, staring down at you while he quickly rips over the buttons of his pants and pulls down his briefs. What Levi lacks in height he clearly makes up with a good and girthy length, that slaps proudly against his lower abdomen. Its dip is red and a pearl of white adores its top. You are not able to stare at him further, as he leans over you, blocking your sight with his face, a longing expression in his eyes.
“Like what you see?” Levi wonders and teasingly presses his length between your legs, his dip harshly meeting your clitoris. The hot feeling overcoming you leaves you stunt and unable to reply, but Levi doesn't need an answer. He enters you with a swift and surprising motion, making your eyes tear up and moan in pain. While he was slow and sensual with his touches in the beginning, he certainly has no intention of holding back now. Levi's left hand still holds you down, while his legs keep your hips from moving. He fills you up to the rim, leaving a burning sensation in your around the walls that clench to him. But soon you find the pain numbing and your muscles relaxing, relieve filling your chest as you start enjoying the way he fills you out.

“C-can I keep going-?” Levi asks, clearly restraining himself from moving, as it might have left damage inside of you.
“Yes please.” You whimper, your legs spreading a little wider, welcoming him to go deeper. Levi takes your consent for granted and joyfully starts to move his hips, going down on you with sick adoration in his lust struck gaze. The feeling to you is unusual and raw, but the way he hits a certain spot all over again makes you feel weak, and you can't help the breathy sounds escaping your mouth, matching Levi's ones. He rails you down with ease, his muscles flexing as his grip against your wrists tighten and leave red marks against the skin. His lips suck on your clavicle and wander down your sternum only to meet your left breast. Deep sounds escape his throat as his movements turn harsher and less controlled, while his mouth catches your nipple. His tongue turns and twirls, stimulating the sensitive pink skin. “Levi!” You cry out, eyelids fluttering at the new wave of passion that runs over your body the way he makes you feel. He's rough, unhinged even, like he promised, like he threatened. You can't seem to mind; in fact, you desire to feel more of what he's offering, and you know that he can offer more.

“This-” you think “this might as well be soft for him.” After taking a couple more of his thrusts your orgasms hits you unexpected, a wave of intense ecstasy running over your body as you feel the welcoming tingle in your lower abdomen. Levi seems to feel it too, a throaty and primitive sound comes from his bloodshot lips as he takes the strength to push into you one last time. He stills over you, letting go of your numb hands only to grab your shoulder harshly. He is quick to pull out of you, cuming the moment he pulls out, making you feel empty and sore.

The sun is already halfway past the horizon, coloring the sky and sea in orange and pinks, it's light reflecting on your glistening skin. Both you and Levi are dripping in sweat, the sea breeze feels cold against you skin as a goosebump forms on your arms and legs. You take the calm moment to come down from your high, giving your Captain time to catch his breath. His muscles are tense and his chest heaves rapidly, but he catches himself quickly, rolling from you to lie down on the gape as well, adjusting his pants the past he can with slightly shaky hands. For a moment none of you dares to speak and just when you think it's getting awkward, he turns his head to you, a serious expression taking over his resting cool face.

“Next time we do it in my quarters. It's fucking filthy here.” You can't help but to laugh and cuddle yourself to his side, touching his bare chest lightly.
“Of course, Captain, I'll even put on a cute little maid dress for you.” You tease, giggling as he ruffles your hair with a shake of his head. You stay like that for a while, laying in his embrace with a happy smile on your lips, your fingers dancing circles over your lover's chest in an affectionate way, while the sky darkens, and the stars start to shine. Levi can't help trying to imagine a world like this: peace and harmony, a world with you in it. But little did he know that he was far away from this perfect world.