Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?"

You turned to glare at Finn, stuffing your books into your bag. Finn shifted his weight on your bed, flinging his legs over the edge, raising his eyebrows as he stares at you.

"I'm not being dramatic," you sighed, standing upright, throwing the bag over your shoulder. "If I don't pass this class, I'll get behind and I won't get to graduate on time!"

Finn laughed, the high sound ringing out around your room. "So? Not everyone graduates when they're supposed to."

The bag felt like a ton of bricks on your shoulder, the weight almost as heavy as the anxiety brewing in your mind. You couldn't help but be a little jealous of Finn--school has always come easy for him. He's never had to study, doesn't really have to try at all, really. He's naturally book smart, a talent you weren't blessed with in the genetics lotto. Unfortunately, he wasn't so great at the teaching other people part, hence why his degree was in engineering.

"I wanna graduate with you and Poe," you said softly, leaning against the door to your room, biting at the skin on your lips. "It won't be the same if we don't graduate together."

Finn's eyes softened at the mention of his boyfriend's name. "You will be fine. I promise. We'll figure something out."

Your lips pursed and you exhaled sharply through your nose. "Okay, fine. Whatever. I trust you." Opening the door, you looked back at him. "Be out of my room when I get back, 'kay?"

You saw the brief flash of his smirk before you closed the door, starting your route to your Calculus class.

As you exited your dorm building, cold air hit you and you shivered, zipping up your jacket as you briskly walked across the quad. Finn was right, you were being dramatic. Failing Calculus wouldn't be the end of the world, would it? Maybe you could ask the professor for his help. You groaned internally--asking for help was not your strong suit. You would much rather suffer in silence than admit you were having difficulties. You shook your head, trying to fill it with other thoughts, focusing instead on the crunch of the leaves under your boots as you walked.

As usual, you were ten minutes early to your class. Walking in, you spot your professor leaning against the chalkboard, scanning his lesson plans. Your eyes drifted to the other students in the class, landing on one sitting in the back corner.

Kylo Ren.

Everyone on campus knew of Kylo, but no one really knew Kylo. He was the college's loner kid--kept to himself, didn't talk in class, never asked questions. No one even knew how old he was. There he was, his tall frame dwarfing the desk he sat in. Dressed in all black, as usual, his clothes matching the wavy head of hair that fell to his shoulders. He had his headphones in, leaning against the back of the seat, eyes cast down to his notebook on the desk. A part of you had always been intrigued by Kylo Ren--who was he? A small fraction of your brain wanted to know.

As if he heard you, Kylo's eyes shifted up to meet yours, and you quickly cast your gaze to the floor, cheeks burning. Why the hell were you embarrassed? You felt his gaze follow you as you walked over to your professor, who greeted you with a smile.

"What can I do for you today?"

Cheeks still burning, you fumbled over your words. "I-I know I'm failing this class."

He raised an eyebrow, nodding. "Yes, I know that."

Between the feeling of Kylo's gaze burning into the back of your head and the embarrassment of the confession to your professor, your anxiety spiked. "I was wondering if there was anyone who could help me. Y'know. Understand calculus."

A hint of a smile played on the edge of your professor's lips. "Actually, there is someone who is doing surprisingly well in this class."

Your eyes lit up, a sliver of hope easing the crushing weight of anxiety in your chest. "Really? Who?"

Your professor's gaze shifted behind you, motioning for someone to come to him. You turned around and your heart fell into your ass as you watched Kylo Ren walk toward you, his stony gaze unsettling. Your professor's next words were muffled as you looked up at Kylo, towering over your short frame. Kylo Ren, the loner, had the best grade in calculus? Your heart was beating in your ears, you cheeks undeniably red as you turned to look at your professor.

"...sure he won't have any problem tutoring you."

"T-tutoring me?" Eyes wide, you looked up at Kylo's face.

A hint of a smile played on the edge of his lips as he fixed his dark gaze on you. "How long would I have to do it?" His voice was deep, much deeper than you were expecting.

Your professor shrugged. "As long as it takes to make her understand, to get an C, at least."

Kylo frowned, looking back at the professor, obviously not happy with the idea. He was silent for a moment. "Fine."

"Fine?" you said, a hint of anger bubbling in your voice. "If I'm being an inconvenience then you can just forge--"

"Do you have another class after this?" He cut you off.

Your nostrils flared, your embarrassment turning to anger. Who did this asshole think he was?

And there it was again, the hint of a smirk on the edge of his lips, as if he heard what you had thought. He raised one eyebrow, waiting on an answer to his question.

You shook your head. "No, I don't."

He gave a sharp nod. "Great. See you after class."

With that, he turned around and went back to his seat.

What the hell just happened?

Chapter Text

After calculus, you stood in the hallway, waiting for Kylo to make his appearance. Were you going to his dorm? To yours? The library? You were so lost in thought you didn’t realize he was standing right in front of you, looking down at you, his face blank.

“Are you going to stand there like an idiot or are you going to show me to your room?” His deep voice echoed out around you and your anxiety quickly turned into anger.

Without a word, you spun around and started off in the direction of your dorm room, not checking to see if he was behind you. The thud of his boots hitting the pavement was the only evidence he was following you. You opened the door to your dorm and climbed the three flights of stairs to your room, the silence between the two of you thick. Kylo Ren was obviously a man of few words. Turning the key into your door, you opened it, a split second of embarrassment passing through you as you realized your room probably was a mess—after all, you weren’t expecting anyone else to be in here besides Finn and Poe.

Kylo glanced around your room and you wondered what was going through his head as his eyes scanned your belongings. Your eyes ran over his face, noticing how his nose seemed slightly bent. How had that happened?

You heard Kylo clear his throat and your eyes snapped up to his, finding them fixed on your face. You felt hot as you gestured over to the small wooden desk.

“Let’s get started.”

If someone had told you this is how you were ending your day—with loner Kylo Ren sitting at your desk in your dorm room, you would’ve told them they were crazy. But, somehow, there he was, sitting next to you at your desk; leaning back against the hard, wooden chair the college supplied you.

The two of you had been going over basic functions of a unit circle for half an hour, and somehow you were more frustrated now than you were when you started.

“I just don’t get it!” You exclaimed, your head dropping onto the notebook in front of you, the page sprawled with different drawings of the unit circle.

“What don’t you get?” Kylo asked, lazily resting his head in his left hand, twiddling with his pencil in the other.

You looked up at him, exhaling deeply, trying to curb your annoyance with how easily he understood the pile of numbers and figures in front of you. “I sort of understand degrees to pi, but I definitely don’t understand turning pi into radians.”

Kylo breathed out a sigh, obviously annoyed with your inability to grasp the concept. He turned the pages of the textbook until he found a figure and pointed at it, trying to explain sine and cosine to you. Your brain physically hurt and you groaned internally, not wanting to point out how the numbers seemed to bleed together.

“Maybe we should stop for today,” he suggested, closing his textbook. “You clearly need time to think over the lesson.”

You tilted your head, eyes narrowing. “What do you mean by that?”

Kylo shrugged. “I can’t teach you if your brain can’t grasp the concept.”

“Are you calling me stupid?” You bite at the skin on your lip, a nervous habit, and not a very good one either.

Kylo was silent, looking down at the textbook in front of him. Clearly that was a yes.

“Do you know my major is psychology?” You asked him, setting your pencil down in front of you.

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Why do you think I care about—“

“What’s yours?”

There it was again, the silence. His eyes flicked up to your face and you rested your head in your hands, elbows on the desk in front of you.

“I’m guessing undecided.” You studied his face. “Probably because you’re trying to do the opposite of what your parents want, is that right?”

You could tell you were right by his reaction, fists balling by his sides, his gaze sweeping to the other side of the desk.

“Is Kylo Ren even your actual name?” You tilted your body closer to him, trying to get a reaction out of him. “Somehow I don’t think it is. It seems impersonal, not something a parent would name their child.”

Kylo stood up abruptly, grabbing his textbook and walking over to his bag, avoiding the question. His face was blank as he bent down to pick up his bag.

You stood, following him, leaning against the wall next to your bed. “I’m guessing you changed it. You changed it because you don’t like your parents—most likely your dad. You avoid answering personal questions because you don’t want people to figure you out. That’s what most people with emotional trauma do. I’m guessing that’s also linked back to your parents.”

Kylo turned to you, a kind of quiet hot rage seething beneath his skin. “Why are you—“

“I’m not stupid,” you simply said, crossing your arms. “I’m not stupid, so why don’t you quit being a jackass, leave your personal daddy issues at your own dorm, and—“

You words were cut short when you felt a force push you back against the wall, your arms straight against your sides. Your blood ran cold, anxiety washing over you as Kylo stepped in front of you.

“You don’t know me.” His voice was barely a whisper, his body inches from yours.

You looked up at him, straining against the force pushing onto you. You were sure he could hear your heart pounding against your rib cage. “What the fu—“

“Shut up,” he growled, resting his arms on either side of you. “You think you’re so clever. That you have me figured out. That you know me. Everyone thinks they know me. They don’t.”

His breath was warm against your skin, and your eyes searched his as he towered over you, your stomach fluttering as you realized how close the two of you were.

“I-I’m sorry.” Your words were barely a whisper, not breaking the eye contact between the two of you.

Kylo was silent for a moment before leaning down, his lips brushing your ear, causing your stomach to flutter again. “I don’t think you really mean that.”

You were silent, breath catching in your throat before he moved away, grabbing his bag.

“You don’t know me,” he said again, pausing at the threshold of the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Same time.”

As he left, the force released its hold on you, your body collapsing on the ground. Trying to catch your breath, your brain could only produce a single thought:

Kylo Ren was a force user.

Holy shit.

Chapter Text

“The fuck do you mean he’s a Force user?”

You sighed, crossing your legs as you leaned back against the wall by your bed. “I mean, he’s a fucking Force user. He is a user of the Force. The Force is—“

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Poe said, leaning back on his arms, one of his hands touching Finn’s. “How did you find out?”

You bite your lip, conflicted. Should you tell them the truth? That Kylo Ren flung you against the wall, basically turned you on, then left? Fuck.

“He got angry at me on Tuesday and flung a book off the desk. Without touching it.” Hopefully that lie should suffice, although you did feel a little guilty. Usually, you tell Finn and Poe everything—they were your confidants.

Finn’s eyes widened. “Shit. I’ve never met a Force user before.”

You shook your head, looking up at your ceiling. “Not many people have.”

Force users were…special. The Force was something very few people possessed anymore. The bloodline traced back to thousands of years ago. You had grown up with stories about the past, about how Force users used to make up a large portion of the population. Most of them were wealthy; they could hold better jobs than most because of their skills. No one really knows how it started, or why, but eventually they started to die off—slowly. Now finding someone with the Force was like picking a needle out of a haystack. Somehow, you had met one. Kylo fucking Ren.

“What are you gonna do this weekend?” Poe broke the silence.

“I was thinking about going to Sam’s party,” you smirked.

It wasn’t often you went out and partied, but after what felt like the longest week in the world, a little drinking and dancing was exactly what you needed.

“We’re definitely going,” Finn said, grinning at Poe. “I’ll DD; I’m not in the mood for drinking anyway. I’d rather people watch.”

“Are you sure? I could drive if you wanted me to.” Poe looked up at his boyfriend with a soft smile.

“I can do it, babe,” Finn said, patting Poe’s arm comfortingly.

You rolled your eyes but smiled at your two best friends. “Alright, alright. Enough of that. What time do you two wanna leave?”

“Don’t you have one more tutoring session with Kylo tonight?” Finn stood up, grabbing his bag.

You nodded. “Yeah, but it should only last about an hour. I say we leave at 10, show up a little late.”

“We’ll meet you here?”

“Sounds good.” You grinned and the two of them left, leaving you alone with your thoughts until it was tutoring time.

Your thoughts drifted to Kylo, your brain replaying the memory of his lips at your ear over and over again. Your stomach fluttered at the memory, heat flashing between your legs as you thought of all the things that could have happened that night. Shaking out of your daydream, you got up, ignoring the ache between your legs and instead focusing on what you were going to wear tonight.

Rifling through your closet, you opted for a tight red dress. It covered up just enough to be classy, but showed enough of your figure to be sexy. You smiled to yourself as you set it out on your bed, thoughts flashing again to Kylo. If only he could see you in something as sexy—

“No,” you whispered to yourself. “Quit fucking thinking about him.”

A sharp knock at your door pulled you out of your head and you walked to your door, opening it to find Kylo holding his books. He waltzed in without saying a word, setting his bag down by your bed, his eyes grazing over the dress that was laying there.

You wondered if he could hear them—your thoughts. Shit, could he have heard what you were thinking earlier?

“And what were you thinking earlier?” He said, sitting down at your desk, looking up at you expectedly.

Your cheeks burned as you gathered your notebook and sat down next to him. “N-nothing.”

“Hm.” He looked into your eyes and leaned a bit closer, his piercing gaze seeming to look right through you.

Your mind flashed to the other day—pinned against your wall, his lips at your ear, the flutter in your stomach. You could tell he heard by the slight raise of his eyebrows, but he said nothing.

“Let’s go over logs and inverse functions today.”

You breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, diving into your lesson with him. He was a good teacher—you could admit as much. But there was still this reluctance when it came to him. He didn’t want to be there with you, he definitely didn’t want to be teaching you. He probably had a million other things he could be doing than trying to make the dumb girl understand math.

“You’re not dumb,” he suddenly said, pencil hovering over a log you had just done.

“W-wha, huh?” You stared at him.

He said nothing else as he checked over your logs and functions, writing down notes and ways you could improve. After the hour was up, he stood, going to gather his belongings off your floor.

“Do you ever go out?” You blurted out, mentally smacking yourself in the face.

“What?” He turned toward you, his eyebrows laced together.

“You know, t-to parties and stuff?” Words were somehow failing you.

Kylo was silent as he stared at you.

“Because my friend Sam is having a party and, um, everyone is invited. You should come. It’s at the big house down the street from here. You can’t miss it.”

Kylo stared at you a minute longer before walking to the door. “I don’t do parties.”

The door closed behind him and you sat on the edge of your bed, dumbfounded. Had you really just tried to invite Kylo Ren, THE loner, to a party? You mentally kicked yourself for being so stupid.

Trying to forget the last five minutes ever happened, you got ready. You opted for light makeup—mascara and some lipstick. Pulling on the dress, you admired yourself in the mirror, slipping on a pair of black heels to complete the look.

“God, I’m a catch,” you said to yourself in the mirror.

You grabbed a black jacket from your closet as a knock sounded at your door. Finn and Poe. Perfect.

As the three of you headed to the party, all you could think about was Kylo. He was an enigma. Half of you wanted to figure him out, but the other half of you said fuck him, he’s an asshole. You took a deep breath. Alright, no more thinking about Kylo tonight. Tonight is all about drinking and dancing.

The party was in full swing when the three of you walked into the house, deep bass shaking the walls, people scattered all over the house. You immediately went for the kitchen, mixing yourself a rum and coke. A strong rum and coke.

A squeal behind you cut through the noise and you turned to see Sam, one of your classmates, run up to you.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” She said, obviously already drunk. “It’s been too long.”

You grinned at her, looking at all the faces around you. “It has. You always throw a rager, Sam.”

She giggled. “If you need anything find me. Mingle! Have fun!”

You nodded and walked out to the living room, where people had made a makeshift dance floor. Leaning against the wall, you sipped your drink, looking around the room. Finn and Poe had sat down with some friends, a drink in Poe’s hand. You smiled softly and looked around the room, trying to find any familiar faces. You quickly finished your drink and made another, which turned into three, which turned into four.

You were definitely tipsy now.

As you resumed standing in your spot against the wall, you noticed someone you hadn’t noticed before. Your heart raced as you walked over to him, trying not to stumble over your heels.

“I thought you said you didn’t do parties.”

Kylo Ren looked down at you, his lips twitching like he was trying not to smile. “I’m full of surprises.”

You nodded, sipping your drink. “Do you want to dance?”

“I don’t dance.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Your loss.”

Setting your cup down, you made your way out to the dance floor, letting your body sway to the beat of the song. You went up to the first boy you saw—a cute brunette. He looked familiar; you probably had him in one of your classes before. You grinned as you felt his hands on your hips, lightly grinding against him. Part of you was wishing it was Kylo you were grinding on—you would kill to see him unravel. You could feel Kylo’s gaze burn into you, which made you smirk. His loss. As the song ended, you went into the kitchen, making another drink when you felt him behind you.

“Come with me.”
His large hand gripped your arm and you followed him down the hallway and into one of the bathrooms. He released you and you rubbed your arm.

“What the hell?” You asked, setting your cup down on the counter.

Kylo turned toward you, walking toward you slowly until your back was pressed against the wall. His body was inches from yours. Your mind flashed back to Tuesday when the two of you were in this exact same position.

You looked up at his face and he looked into your eyes, using his right hand to run up your left arm slowly, tracing over the curve of your shoulder and neck, running his thumb across your jaw. Your heart was racing. What the fuck was happening right now?

“You were trying to tease me,” he murmured, pressing his body against yours.

You felt his bulge press against you and you gasped at the contact. Kylo Ren was turned on…because of you.

“It worked.” He slowly used his first finger to trace around your lips. Out of instinct, you opened your mouth, tongue flicking out to swirl around his finger.

Surprisingly, he let out a soft groan, his bulge twitching against you. You took his finger in your mouth and sucked slowly, trying to grind your hips against his. The heat between your legs was too much—you needed him.

He added another finger to your mouth, his dark eyes flicking from your mouth to your eyes. His left hand traced down your chest and stomach to rest at the hem of your dress, running his hand across the top of your thighs. You moaned against his fingers, the wetness in your panties probably prominent by now. He smirked smugly as his fingers teased your inner thighs, barely touching the black panties you had on.

His teasing drew out another moan from you and he chuckled deeply.

“Such an eager little slut, hm?” He whispered, his words causing the walls of your pussy to clench.

You nodded, still sucking his fingers as he slowly traced one finger up your clothed pussy, your hips bucking in response to his touch. Suddenly, your hips were held down by the Force, and you groaned, wanting so badly for him to fuck you.

“What was that?” He asked, bringing his lips to the corner of your jaw, slowly kissing down to your neck, biting softly at the flesh.

“F-fuck, Kylo,” you whimpered, his fingers still teasing your aching pussy.

He sucked harder at your neck and moved your panties to the side, slowly running his large fingers up your slit, barely brushing against your clit.

Your hands went to grip the back of his head but he stopped you with the Force, your wrists bound above you by an invisible weight. You groaned, your clit aching to be touched, your pussy dripping.

“So wet for me,” he said against your neck, suddenly shoving two fingers inside of your pussy.

You moaned loudly, knowing if you weren’t pinned down by the Force your back would arch. His fingers were big, stretching out the tight walls of your pussy as he fucked you with them.

“Is this what the slut wants? For me to fuck her?” His mouth moved down to your collarbones and he started sucking again.

All you could manage was a whimper as you felt the pressure building. You needed him to touch your clit—you wanted him to touch it.

His fingers left your mouth and twisted them in your hair, yanking back harshly. You moaned out as he continued finger fucking you.

“Answer me.” His pace got faster as he looked into your eyes.

“Y-yes, fuck, Kylo, I want you to fuck me!” You cried out, the orgasm building inside of you.

“You’ve wanted this since I had you up against the wall the first time, hm?”

“Yes,” was all you could manage through your pleasure.

He smirked and set a faster pace, his other hand leaving your hair to reach down and rub your clit in fast circles. You cried out as your pussy clenched, on the brink of release.

“Cum for me. Cum on my fingers like a good slut.”

His words tipped you over the edge and you moaned out as your pussy clenched his fingers, white spots dancing in your vision, your legs shaking as you rode out your orgasm. Breathing heavily, you felt the Force leave you, hands grasping at his shoulders to keep you upright.

Kylo’s face was unreadable as you both stood there, catching your breath. He brought his fingers to your mouth and you sucked your cum off them, swirling your tongue around them.
“Your friends are probably wondering where you are,” he said, removing his fingers from your mouth.

“Don’t you want—“

“Another time,” Kylo simply said.

You pursed your lips, nodding before leaving him in the bathroom and going to find Finn and Poe.

The whole ride home, your head was filled with thoughts of Kylo. Out of all the things that could have happened tonight, that was the last thing you ever expected to happen. Kylo Ren had actually finger fucked you in a bathroom.

And you had liked it.

Chapter Text

After what had happened at the party, the rest of your weekend seemed like a dull affair in comparison. You passed the time by watching Netflix and trying to find a way to cover up the purple hickeys on your neck—unfortunately no amount of cover up could make the large circles disappear. Your thoughts drifted back to Kylo—his mouth at your neck, fingers in your pussy, his bulge pressed against you. Your core ached for him but you pushed the thought away quickly. Kylo Ren was an asshole. He was a loner who didn’t need anyone but himself, he’d already proven that to you.

But what had he meant—another time? Did he want to do shit with you again? Keep your around just to fuck around with? Use you as some sort of sex…thing? The thought gave you butterflies, but you ignored them. Kylo Ren doesn’t need anyone but himself.

But some small part of you really wanted that to be false.

After Monday’s classes, you dropped your bag in your room, groaning internally. If Calculus didn’t kill you, Behavioral Psychology just might. You glanced at yourself in the mirror, the marks on your neck fading, but not fading fast enough. Rather than sit and do homework and most likely think about Kylo rather than B.F. Skinner or John Watson, you opted for a run around campus. Donning a turtleneck and a pair of athletic leggings, you started your run around campus.

Fortunately, your college campus was pretty big, so you could get a good run in and clear your head of any distractions—aka, being fingered in your friend's bathroom at her party by the biggest loner at school. You focused instead on your breathing, the cold air stinging your lungs, the impact of your shoes on the pavement. Gasping for breath, you stopped outside of Palm Hall, another dorm building on campus. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears as you tried to steady your breathing, leaning over to put your hands on your knees.

“It’s a little cold to be running, isn’t it?”

The familiar voice startled you and you turned around, spotting the loner himself leaning against a tree by the building’s door.

“I needed to distract myself,” you said, standing up straight.

Kylo sauntered toward you, smiling softly. It was the first time you had ever seen him smile…and he was kind of beautiful.

“You shouldn’t think things like that,” he muttered, stopping in front of you. He zipped up his black jacket, tilting his head as he looked down at you.

You crossed your arms. “I can’t help it if you can read my thoughts. That’s your problem, not mine.”

“Who said it was a problem?” Kylo questioned, his hand reaching out to trace your jaw, pushing the collar of your turtleneck down. “I wish you wouldn’t hide these.”

His touch sent a shiver down your spine and you inhaled sharply, ignoring the urge to move away from him. Instead, you looked into his dark eyes. “Why?”

He gave a half smile. “I want people to know I marked you. Even though they don’t know it’s me.”

His words made your cheeks burn, and you looked down, suddenly embarrassed. Kylo moved his fingers to your chin, making you look up at him.

“Why are you embarrassed?” He murmured.

You make me nervous, you thought, your voice failing you.

Kylo ran his fingers across your cheek, a gentle gesture for someone who didn’t seem to feel anything besides lust and anger. His eyes searched yours and his fingers seemed to burn into you. His eyes moved to your mouth and you resisted to urge to lean into him.

“Do you live here?” Your voice was quiet, trying to break the silence between the two of you.

Kylo nodded, his eyes still fixed on your lips. His hand traced down the curve of your neck, your shoulder, your elbow. Gripping your arm, he pulled you to him, a gasp rushing from your throat as he pushed his body to yours.

“Kylo,” you squirmed, “anyone could see us.”

“Most people are in class,” he muttered, his hand resting on the small of your back.

“You are so confusing,” you murmured back, looking up at him.

“Why do you say that?” His steely gaze was fixed on you.

You bit your lip, choosing your next words carefully. “You don’t need anyone. You’ve made that pretty clear—you don’t date, you don’t go out. You don’t need anyone, so why do you want me?”

“And who says I want you?” Kylo retorted, annoyance flashing in his eyes.

“You just…I…” you stuttered, a hot wave of embarrassment washing over you that quickly turned to irritation. “Are you serious?”

The question was rhetorical and Kylo knew that. Still, he was silent, removing his hand from your back but not moving away from you. You exhaled sharply through your nose, looking up at him, your gaze like ice.

“And if I said I wanted to get on my knees and take your dick in my mouth right now?” You questioned. “What about then?”

Desire flashed through Kylo’s eyes and you smirked, knowing you were right. You closed the space between the two of you, your bodies pressed together. You twisted your fingers in his shirt, pulling him down to your height.

“What if I said I wanted to feel your hands in my hair, keeping my head in place while you shoved your dick down my throat, hm?” Your lips were at his ear, feeling smug when you heard him inhale quietly. “If I said I wanted to you to face fuck me until I couldn’t breathe, you wouldn’t want me then?” You grinned as you felt his bulge against your stomach and his breathing quicken. “What if I wanted to taste your cum when you—"

“Enough,” Kylo snarled, standing up straight, his body still against yours. His eyes were black, fists balled at his sides. He was as angry as he was turned on, that much was evident.

“Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, you turned away from him, jogging back to your dorm, leaving him standing in the middle of the sidewalk with a boner. You knew you’d pay for that later, that it was a petty thing to do, but in this moment, you didn’t care. You knew he wanted you—he could lie all he wanted.

When you got back to your dorm room, you stretched, cooling down before hopping in the shower. The hot water felt amazing against your skin, helping soothe your aching muscles. You washed your body and your hair, the scent of your shampoo easing the anxiety you’ve had lately.

After drying off, you donned your usual pajamas—a pair of shorts and a tank top. Lying in your bed, you pulled up Netflix and decided on re-watching Parks and Rec when there was a knock on your door.

“It’s a little late for Finn or Poe to come around,” you muttered, climbing off your bed and opening the door.

You were surprised to see Kylo Ren standing in front of you, his breathing heavy like he had run the whole way to your dorm. He pushed past you and you closed the door, confusion written across your face.

He turned around, facing you, desire in his black eyes.

“Get on your knees.” His voice was raspy. “Now.”

Chapter Text

Your body was frozen, back still against the door.

“W-what?”

Kylo took two long strides before he was in front of you, one hand snaking around to the back of your head, tugging at your hair, a sharp gasp escaping your lips. The other hand went around your neck, squeezing softly. His dark eyes bore into you and your stomach flipped as he regarded you.

“Get. On. Your. Knees.” He accentuated every word, his skin seeming to crawl with a hot rage.

Not breaking eye contact, you sunk to your knees, his grip on your hair staying just as tight as your face became level with his bulge. Your hand traced up his thigh, lightly tracing over the tent in his pants, watching it twitch slightly.

“No teasing,” he growled, his voice deep. “Not when you’ve been teasing me all fucking day.”

Your fingers fumbled with the button on his pants, unzipping them and shoving them and his boxers down to his ankles. His dick sprang free from its restraint and you gasped softly as you took in its size. Kylo Ren was big. Really big. You wrapped your hand around the base of it, looking up to meet his eyes as you slowly licked up his shaft, swirling your tongue around the tip.

The moan that escaped from Kylo’s mouth was heavenly—you wanted to record it, keep it trapped in your mind so you could listen to it on repeat forever. He looked down at you, eyes full of lust as you slowly took his dick deeper in your mouth, your name at his lips as his fingers tightened in your hair.

“You’re such an eager slut for me, aren’t you?” His voice was breathy, his hips moving to meet your mouth.

Unable to speak, you moaned onto his dick as he moved deeper inside of your mouth. You gripped his thighs as he began to face fuck you faster, the grip he had on your hair holding your head in place. You opened your mouth wider, your jaw already aching from his size.

“Good girl, that’s right,” he groaned out as you gagged softly. “This is what you do to me.”

Your pussy clenched at his words, your clit aching to be touched. Your thoughts flashed to Kylo’s fingers on your clit and in your pussy, you moaning out his name as you cum on his fingers. Kylo smirked at you, your thoughts invading his as he began to face fuck you faster.

“The slut wants release, hm?” He asked, his voice teasing. “I don’t know if you deserve it.”

Spit was dripping down your chin now, his hips moving faster against you. Your eyes were watering—but you liked it. Your tongue brushed the underside of his shaft, causing a moan from Kylo as his cock twitched in your mouth. You looked up at him, eyes searching his. You thought of his cum shooting down your throat and swallowing all of it, the wetness between your thighs growing.

“F-fuck.” His voice was strained as he held your head in place, cock buried in your throat as you felt his warm cum shoot down your throat, his cock pulsing in your mouth.

He pulled his cock free from your mouth and you stayed on your knees, your chest heaving as you swallowed his cum. Kylo looked down at you, smirking softly as he pulled his boxers and pants up, tucking his cock back in them. You knew what he saw—a girl with a tear streaked face, lips and cheeks red, still on her knees for a man who had just used her. Did you even matter to Kylo?

“This look agrees with you,” he said softly, eyes sweeping over your body.

He bent down, his hand going to grip your chin, pulling you up to a standing position. He towered over you, his fingers leaving your chin to trace your jaw around to the back of your neck. Slowly, he brought his lips to your neck. The soft kisses he left across your neck and jaw contrasted greatly to what had just happened between you two. His lips moved from your jaw to your mouth and he kissed you for the first time.

His hand moved to your hair, lightly gripping the back of your head as his lips moved against yours. You kissed him back, your hands reaching up to grasp his shoulders. You were making out with Kylo Ren in the middle of your dorm room. He was being…gentle. Gentle in comparison to the angry man who had stormed into your room less than ten minutes ago.

His hands moved from your hair to rest against the small of your back. He pushed you against him and your arms wrapped around his neck, hands twisting in his wavy black hair. He moved your body to rest against your bed, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

Breaking the kiss, he lifted you up on your bed, eyes searching yours as his hands ran down across your thighs. You inhaled sharply at his touch. Your hands were still in his hair and you pulled his head to yours, hesitantly touching your lips to his. He smiled softly, kissing you back. He tugged at the waistband of your shorts, pulling them and your panties down.

There was urgency to his movements, but it wasn’t like before. This Kylo Ren wasn’t angry. It’s like the anger had left his body completely—he was a different person. This Kylo Ren was gentle, full of desire instead of rage.

He bit your bottom lip softly as he spread your legs, his cold fingers running up your slit. You groaned into his mouth as his fingers caught your clit, rubbing it in slow circles. Your grip on his hair tightened.

“Do you like that?” He whispered, gazing into your eyes.

You nodded, pulling his lips to yours again, your kiss becoming more heated as he slowly pushed his middle and ring finger into you. His fingers curled inside you, a shudder running down your spine as you moaned. His tongue slipped into your mouth as his fingers began pumping into you.

Pure pleasure—that’s what you were feeling. As Kylo’s fingers picked up speed, his lips roamed to your neck, his teeth grazing the hickeys he had left a few days prior. He kissed them softly, his forehead resting in the crook of your neck as you gripped the back of your head. You moaned louder as his fingers went deeper.

“Kylo,” you whispered, a small whimper escaping you.

“That’s right, baby, say my name.” His breath was hot against your skin.

His words sent a jolt of electricity through you and your pussy clenched, moaning louder as he fingered you faster. His name tumbled out of your mouth as you felt your orgasm build, your stomach tightening.

“K-Kylo, I’m gonna—“ You moaned out, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Cum for me, baby.” He bit your shoulder softly as his other hand went to your clit, rubbing it in slow circles as his fingers pumped faster.

His name left your lips again and again as you felt white heat behind your eyes, your body shaking as your pussy clenched against his fingers. This orgasm was different from the one at the party—it seemed more personal. You seemed to see stars as your body came down from the pleasure, your breathing heavy. Kylo’s mouth traced up to yours again, kissing you softly as he removed his fingers from your pussy. He broke the kiss, his fingers going into his mouth, sucking your cum off of them. After a moment, he bent down to pull your panties and shorts back up. He was silent for a moment before meeting your eyes.

“That is what you do to me.”

Then he turned and left.

Your head still spinning, you leaned back on your hands. What the actual fuck had just happened? Did Kylo Ren have feelings for you? Why did it seem like he was two different people?

No, that was impossible. Kylo Ren didn’t have feelings for anybody. But for some reason, you felt like that wasn’t quite true. There was something different about him…like he cared about you.

You fell asleep that night, drowning your mind with thoughts of Kylo Ren.

Chapter Text

“You and Kylo?”

You grimace, resting your elbows on your inner thighs, sitting criss cross. You, Finn, and Poe were sitting in your bed before your Calculus class. The words had just slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them. You needed to tell someone. Thoughts of Kylo had been eating away at your mind for the past day. Plus, you knew you could trust Finn and Poe.

“When did it start?” Finn asked. His tone wasn’t angry or accusing—just curious.

You chewed on your lip. “The night of Sam’s party.”

Poe’s eyes went wide. “That was the guy who gave you those hickeys?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Oh, and the reason I found out he was a force user was because he kind of…pushed me against my wall with the Force.” The looks on your two best friend’s faces were priceless. “He kinda turned me on…and then left.”

Finn grinned. “Holy shit. Why didn’t you tell us?”

You stared down at your bedspread, eyebrows knit together. How could you have told them about your feelings for Kylo when you didn’t even know what you were feeling?

“I don’t know how I feel about him.” You shrugged. “It’s…he’s complicated.”

A wave of confusion washed over you as you thought about the past 24 hours. Words couldn’t seem to explain how you felt about Kylo. Your head was saying what it always said—don’t trust anyone, don’t trust him, don’t fall for him. You’ll only get hurt. But your heart? That was a different story. Part of you wanted to be near him all the time. You wanted to feel his lips on yours, have him put his arms around you, have him make you feel as good as he did last night.

You sighed, ignoring the ache in your chest. “You guys aren’t mad at me?”

Poe smiled softly at you. “We could never be mad at you, doofus.”

You exhaled, chuckling as you threw your legs over the side of you bed. It was time for Calculus. You threw on a pair of yoga pants and a hoodie over your t-shirt, not feeling like putting any effort into your looks today. You didn’t need to show off for Kylo.

The thought of his name made your stomach turn, butterflies seeming to swirl around inside of you. You grabbed your bag, pausing to walk over to Finn and Poe, dragging them into a three-way hug. Your friends clutched you tightly and you felt your worry disappear for a moment.

“You guys are the best,” you whispered, releasing them as you walked to your door.

“Anytime, buddy,” you heard Finn say as you closed the door behind you.

Your walk to Calculus was like any other day, but you felt your anxiety rise with every step closer to the classroom. You inhaled sharply before entering the room, finding Kylo sitting in his normal spot in the back corner. Your professor smiled and nodded at you as you took your seat in the front of the class. You swallowed, feeling Kylo’s eyes in the back of your head, resisting the urge to turn around and look at him. To turn around and see his dark eyes, his hair falling in waves around his shoulders, to watch his mouth turn up a little at the corners as he spoke.

The sound of a chair scraping against the floor caused you to snap out of your daydream, your thoughts coming back to reality. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched a black clothed figure pull the chair out next to yours before sitting down, tapping his pencil against the desk.

“You shouldn’t think so loud,” Kylo murmured.

You turned your head, taking in the features of his side profile, your face hot. “Maybe you should learn to block me out.”

“No,” he simply said, turning his head slightly to look at you. “I like when you think about me.”

You couldn’t seem to form words. Kylo seemed to have that affect on you; you realized that more and more. Class passed slowly. You were hyper-aware of Kylo’s body next to yours, glancing over occasionally to watch him scribble in his notebook. Your eyes fixed on his long fingers, your mind racing as you remember how those fingers felt inside you yesterday.

Kylo cleared his throat and your eyes snapped to his face. You recognized that look in his eyes—annoyance mixed with a little lust. He raised his eyebrow and you grinned sheepishly, turning your attention back to the professor.

After class, you gathered your things slowly, walking to the hallway to meet Kylo. He was waiting for you, leaning nonchalantly against the wall. Saying nothing, you walked past him and he followed. His long strides quickly caught up with yours and he ended up by your side, arm brushing yours as you walked. The touch sent electricity down your spine and you shuddered slightly, catching his small smirk. He knew the affect he had on you.

The two of you walked up the stairs to your room in silence, the tension hanging thick in the air. You unlocked your door, pushing it open and tossing your bag on the ground. You bent down to grab your notebook, lazily walking over to one of the chairs, sitting down and leaning back. Kylo hadn’t even taken his bag off yet.

“Kylo?” You questioned. “You still have to teach me.”

He walked over to the chair beside you, plopping down beside you. “I know.”

He pulled out his notebook and the two of you began going over what the professor was talking about in class. To be honest, you couldn’t remember half of what you went over in class because you were too hyper-aware of Kylo’s body next to yours.

“You should pay attention more,” Kylo muttered.

“It’s hard to pay attention with you sitting next to me,” you retorted.

He smirked slightly, not saying anything else. After giving you a few problems to do, he leaned back in his chair. He was staring at you, you could feel it.

“Enjoying the view?” You mumbled, trying hard to concentrate on the problems in front of you.

“It’s hard for me to not stare,” Kylo said.

You rolled your eyes, a small laugh escaping you. You had never been self-conscious of your looks, but no one had ever made it a point to stare. You didn’t think of yourself as beautiful—

“You should.”

Kylo’s voice brought you out of your thoughts and you turned to him, your face turning red. “Excuse me?”

“You should think of yourself as beautiful.” His eyes searched your face, surprisingly gentle. “You are.”

Your heart leapt in your chest, his words making the butterflies in your stomach explode. No man had ever said anything like that to you before, not even your ex. Sure, you’d gotten pretty or cute—but never beautiful. In your shock, you stood up, heart racing.

“What are you—“

You cut Kylo off, crashing your lips against his, straddling him in his chair. You rested your weight on his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck. You could feel his surprise, hesitating before gently wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You kissed him slowly and felt him respond, gripping the back of your shirt tightly. Your hands laced in his hair, pulling his head back gently. He grunted softly as your lips traced across his jaw and down his neck. You took the skin on his neck in your mouth and sucked gently, a moan escaping his lips. You pulled away, kissing the newly formed hickey delicately, admiring your work. You grinned and traced your mouth back up his neck and across his jaw, stopping at his mouth.

Your eyes searched his and he smiled at you, bringing his lips back to yours. You could stay like this forever—kissing Kylo while he held you, marking him like he was yours—

Kylo pulled away abruptly and released you. You fell backward off him, catching yourself on the desk.

“W-what is it?” You asked, ignoring the hurt you felt.

“I have to go.” He stood up, shoving his notebook in his bag.

You grabbed his arm, a lump forming in your throat. “I-is this about what I was thinking? I’m sorry—“

He tore his arm from your grip, picking up his bag before walking out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

You stared at the door, trying to process what had just happened. Within five seconds, the atmosphere had changed from gentle to cold. You sunk to your knees, leaning against your bed, not even trying to stop the tears that fell. You were right all along.

Kylo Ren apparently really didn’t need anyone.

Chapter Text

The rest of the week was an uneventful one, seeing as Kylo was avoiding you. Not only did he cancel your tutoring sessions for the rest of the week, he didn’t so much as glance at you in class together. It was like whatever happened between the two of you never existed—you were strangers.

You couldn’t deny how much he had hurt you. Not even Finn and Poe could make you feel better. Most of your time was spent lying in bed trying not to cry to the thought of Kylo. Which was stupid—you didn’t love him, you didn’t even know what you felt for him. But you know you felt something.

Part of you wanted to curse yourself for being an idiot—the man could hear your thoughts, after all. Not to mention he was emotionally closed off. As much as you hated it, no amount of psychology classes could seem to make you understand why Kylo Ren is the way that he is. The closest you could guess was emotional childhood trauma and a fear of trusting people. But your diagnosis of Kylo didn’t matter; you would never understand him no matter how badly you wanted to.

Saturday night, in the midst of a Gilmore Girls marathon, your phone rang and you groaned, not wanting to talk to anyone. Lifting the phone to the ear, you took in a shaky breath.

“Hey, Finn.”

“Hey, you,” Finn said. “I’m just checking in on you. I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

You were silent, biting your lip. “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” He questioned. “You don’t sound okay.”

The lump in your throat felt like it was choking you. “I’m okay. A little sad, but I’m okay. I promise.” Your voice was thick, betraying your words.

“Okay…well, if you need me or Poe, we’re just having a chill weekend, so you can always come over and we can sit in our pajamas and eat ice cream and watch movies.”

“Thanks for the offer,” you said, a small laugh escaping you. Even if you did feel sad, you could always count on your friends to try to help you feel better. “I might take you up on that offer. Tomorrow, maybe?”

“Tomorrow it is,” Finn said, a smile in his voice. “I love you, ‘kay? Poe does, too.”

“I love you guys, too.”

You threw your phone to the side and exhaled slowly, leaning back on your pillows. You loved your friends, but right now? You wanted to be alone. And you wanted to get drunk. You wanted to forget this week ever happened, erase it from your memory completely. Lucky for you, you had a fake ID, since you were just two months shy of being 21.

Sitting up, you stretched out your arms and hobbled to your bathroom. After a quick shower, you threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater, letting your hair hang loosely around your face. Your thoughts flashed to Kylo’s hands in your hair and your chest felt heavy. No, you thought. No thinking of Kylo tonight.

Grabbing your purse and phone, you headed out to the closest bar to campus. You walked—it was only a block or two away from campus. Passing Kylo’s dorm, you glanced at it, wondering if Kylo was inside. He probably wasn’t even thinking about you. The thought made your stomach turn and you turned away, continuing the short walk to the bar.

The Anchor Point was popular among college students—and it seemed to prove itself with how packed it was right now. It had a warm atmosphere, very woody and bright. A couple pool tables lined the back wall next to a small stage where people embarrassed themselves doing karaoke on Thursday nights. A space cleared for dancing. The air always seemed to smell like wings no matter what time you came in.

Taking a seat at the crowded bar, you caught the bartender’s eye.

“What’ll it be?” He asked, pushing his beanie down on his head.

“Double shot of rum and a double rum and coke,” you said, pulling out your ID. Tonight, you didn’t care about being careful. You wanted to forget.

He nodded and fixed your drinks. You pulled out some cash and handed it to him, letting him keep the change. You took the shot and chased it with a sip of your rum and coke, leaning your elbows against the bar. You looked around at the jumble of college students in the bar. A couple of frat guys playing pool in the corner. A girl and a guy leaning against the wall next to the entrance, laughing at each other. People dancing together, not seeming to have a care in the world. You envied them.

Trying to shake your thoughts away, you downed your drink, asking the bartender for another round. You don’t know how much you drank before the aching in your chest seemed to leave and the thoughts of Kylo started to fade, but you were pleased when they did. You took another shot, feeling fuzzy. Numb.

You felt someone standing next to you and you looked up to find one of the boys who was playing pool earlier smiling down at you.

“Let me buy you a drink,” he said, leaning against the bar.

You shook your head, smiling softly. “No, thanks.”

“Come on,” the guy said, his arm bumping yours. “Can’t a guy buy a pretty girl a drink?”

There it was again. Pretty.

“I’m good, thanks.” You stood up, surprised at how wobbly you felt, trying to ignore the thumping of your heart.

The guy opened his mouth to say something when he heard his friend yelling from across the bar, turning his head to respond. You quickly walked away from him, weaving your way through the crowd of people. You pushed the door to the bar open, letting the thumping of the music fade as it shut. You leaned your back against the wall, the cold air stinging your cheeks. Taking deep breaths, you tried to ease the pounding of your heart. You were drunker than you thought.

You heard the door open, a low chuckle coming from the person who had pushed it open.

“There was no need to run, pretty girl.”

You turned to see the guy from the bar waltz outside, a sly smile on his face. He came closer to you and you backed away with every step he took toward you. There was a look in his eyes you couldn’t place, one that made your blood run cold.

“I just want to have some fun,” he said, your back coming into contact with the far wall of the outside of the bar.

“No,” you said, gritting your teeth, trying to push past him.

He pushed you against the wall, the back of your head firmly hitting the brick. You cried out, the world seeming to spin underneath you, a wave of nausea washing over you. He flipped you around, your cheek pressed against the cold brick, tears starting to run down your face. His hands ran down your sides, pushing himself against you, trapping you. You were tired. Too tired and too drunk to fight back.

“I’m gonna have some fun with you,” he whispered in your ear, the smell of vodka evident in his breath.

You squirmed beneath him, a sob escaping your throat. For some reason, your mind flashed to Kylo. The man’s hands went to the base of your sweater, his fingers brushing underneath for the briefest of seconds before the weight of his body was taken off of you.

“What the fu—“

The sound of blow after blow rang out and you turned around, pressing your back to the wall as you sank to the ground. The guy was on the ground, a tall figure in black standing over him. Kylo was destroying your attacker, kicking him over and over again, a look of pure rage on his face.

“K-Kylo,” you stammered, knees drawn to your chest.

It seemed to take Kylo a second to register your voice before his actions slowed, his gaze fixing on you. He glanced one last time on your attacker before slowly walking over to you, bending down in front of you. Tears were still spilling down your cheeks as you searched his face. He grabbed underneath your arms, helping you up on shaky legs. Another wave of nausea crashed into you, feeling light-headed.

“H-how are you here?” You murmured before almost collapsing again.

Kylo scooped you into his arms, your head resting on his shoulder as he began walking away from the bar.

“I heard you,” was his simple answer, quiet and monotone.

His voice was the last thing you heard before blacking out.

Chapter Text

You woke groggily, the haze of earlier still fresh on your mind. It took you a few moments to gather your surroundings—on a bed with a black comforter, shelves with books piled on them, a desk with a slim laptop on it. Kylo’s dorm, you realized. It then only took a split second for the pounding headache to register.

“Ow,” you groaned, sitting up slightly.

“Be careful.”

The deep voice came from the door, and you turned your head slightly to see Kylo leaning against it. He was more casual than you’d seen him before—grey sweatpants, a plain black short-sleeve short. He moved to the bed, sitting on the edge, never taking his eyes off you.

“My head is killing me,” you said, squinting your eyes shut.

You felt the weight shift on the bed, the sound of a faucet running, the rattle of pills in a bottle. You felt Kylo sit again.

“Here.”

You opened your eyes and saw him offering you a glass of water and a couple of pills. You eyed them carefully.

“It’s just ibuprofen,” he laughed softly. “You hit your head pretty hard.”

“Well, thank you,” you said, swallowing the pills, waiting for the ache in your head to soften.

The two of you were silent, a million questions running through your pounding head. Kylo’s eyes were downcast, a look you couldn’t quite place in them. Worry? Regret? Pain?

“How did you find me?” You asked hesitantly, sitting up more in the bed, resting your arms on the top of your legs.

Kylo’s gaze turned to look at you. “I heard you, earlier. When you were in front of my dorm. I was listening.”

“You were listening?”

“I’m always listening.”

The admission came as a shock to you. “Have you been listening the whole week?”

Kylo took in a deep breath. “Yes.”

You were silent. That means every single thought you’ve had about him this week, he’s probably heard. Not only that, but he knew you had been hurt, spending your days wallowing over him. Stupid.

“You’re not stupid,” he said quietly. After a moment of silence, he looked into your eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” You asked, your tone pointed. “Sorry for storming out on me and making me feel stupid or sorry for hurting me? Or sorry for ignoring me all week?” Your voice broke. “You don’t know me, Kylo. You don’t know what kind of shit I’ve gone through emotionally.” Images flashed through your mind—the taste of blood in the back of your mouth, the sting of a slap to your cheek, the feeling of the wind being knocked out of you, him standing over you.

You knew he could see the hurt in your eyes and you swallowed the lump in your throat, casting your eyes down to the black comforter, trying to push the past out of your mind.

“Someone hurt you,” Kylo stated, his voice delicate.

You said nothing, keeping your eyes down, the tears threatening to spill over.

“I’m sorry for everything.” His voice was so low you almost couldn’t understand him. “But earlier...you were…you were screaming in my head.” He paused, taking in a shaky breath. “You would’ve died, he would have killed you, and I don’t know what—“ He stopped himself and you dragged your eyes from the bed to his face. “I would have killed him, then.”

His eyes flashed to yours and you reached your hand out to find his. He caught your hand, lacing your fingers with his.

“Thank you, for saving me,” your voice was like glass, close to shattering.

“I don’t think I could have forgiven myself if I let him hurt you.” He squeezed your hand, his eyes softening slightly as his looked at you.

You realized you had never seen Kylo like this—soft, casual, vulnerable. You tugged on his hand and he shifted his weight on the bed, setting his head in the crook of your neck. You used your hand not occupied by his to slowly run your fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry I left before,” he said, his warm breath against your shoulder. “I don’t…I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. Kylo had never been like this in front of you. You were seeing a new side to him—this outstandingly human side, nothing like the cold exterior you had seen before. You slowly lifted his head up, making him look at you.

A small smile played on your lips. “Do you have feelings for me, Kylo?”

His eyes searched yours, a moment’s hesitation running through him. “I’m scared to.”

“You don’t have to be scared with me,” you muttered, your thumb running over his cheek softly.

He closed his eyes. “I...I know I have feelings for you. I-I know I don’t show them very well, but—“

You cut him off by bringing your lips to his, kissing him softly. His hands went to rest softly on your arms, yours cupping his face. This kiss was different from the ones you two had before—there was something more between you and him. The kiss was electric and sweet. Kylo’s hands moved to your back, pressing you closer to him as yours moved to behind his head, your fingers softly weaving through his hair. His hands moved up and down your back slowly, carefully.

A sharp pain in your head caused you to pull back and you gasped, black spots seeming to dance in your vision. Kylo continued to rub your back, a comforting gesture.

“Okay, you need to rest,” he said quietly, a soft smile on his lips.

“Can…can I stay—“

“Of course you can.”

Kylo removed his hands from his back, starting to get up, but you caught his arm and he turned to you, surprised.

“Stay with me.” Your voice was pleading, staring into his eyes.

He hesitated a moment before nodding slightly. You moved over in his small bed, turning on your side, facing the wall. You felt the bed shift as Kylo climbed in, his body against yours. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer, lacing his fingers in yours. He was so tall; he could rest his chin on top of your head.

And here, with him holding you, you felt safe.

That was the last thing you felt before you fell asleep.

Chapter Text

You woke the next morning, groggy. Rubbing your eyes, you rolled over to find Kylo sleeping on his back. You admired his face—peaceful, dreamlike. The tension was gone, his eyes and mouth relaxed. Staying on your stomach, you moved closer to him, using your finger to trace down his cheek and across his jaw. You rested your head on his shoulder, yawning softly. He shifted beneath you, pulling his arm from under you and putting it around you, pulling you closer to him. Smiling, you rested your hand on his chest, tracing random patters over his t-shirt.

“That tickles,” he grumbled, his voice raspy from sleep, his eyes still closed.

“Sorry,” you giggled, going to pull your hand away.

He grabbed your hand in his, keeping it pressed to his chest. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

His other hand rubbed circles in your back and he opened his eyes to look at you. They were soft, kind. He gave you a small smile, releasing your hand to push the hair back from your face.

“Thanks for letting me stay,” you whispered.

“I wanted you to stay,” he responded.

“What time is it?” You asked, your finger tracing down Kylo’s stomach.

He checked his phone, laughing softly. “One PM.”

You slowly sat up on the bed, stretching out your arms. Kylo watched you, his eyes travelling over your body. You climbed over him, planting a small kiss on his cheek before your feet hit the floor.

“You’re leaving,” he stated, sitting up.

“I promised Finn and Poe a movie and ice cream day.” You looked around until you saw your purse and phone sitting on Kylo’s desk. Checking your phone, you grimaced, seeing missed texts from both your best friends.

You felt Kylo’s arm wrap around your waist and you smiled as he pressed his body against yours.

“Stay,” he murmured into your hair, squeezing you.

You close your eyes, tilting your head to the side. “I want to.”

“Then stay.”

Kylo bent down to kiss your neck, his hands running up and down your stomach. You exhaled slowly, tilting your head more to give him better access. He sucked on the skin at your neck, leaving small hickeys down the side all the way down to your shoulder. As he bit your shoulder softly, a small moan escaped you.

You felt Kylo’s smirk as his hands traveled down to the waistband of your pants, unbuttoning them. Pushing them down, Kylo ran his fingers over your clothed slit, your hips bucking slightly.

“Fuck, Kylo, please,” you whimpered.

“What do you want?” He whispered in your ear, his fingers pushing your panties aside teasingly.

“Your fingers inside of me,” you moan out, pressing your ass against him.

He groaned in your ear as your ass pressed against his bulge, one of his fingers slowly running up your bare slit.

“You’re already so wet for me, slut.” His words made your pussy clench and he placed one hand on your hip, holding you in place.

His pointer finger caught on your clit, rubbing it agonizingly slow. You moan softly, eyes fluttering shut. Kylo’s hand left your hip and went to your chin, tilting your head up to look at him. His eyes burned with lust, dark and hungry.

“F-Fuck, please go faster,” you begged, your nails digging into his arm.

His speed on your clit increased and you moan out again. His lips come down on yours and you moan into his mouth as his fingers leave your clit and tease the aching entrance to your pussy.

Breaking the kiss, Kylo’s hand went to your neck. “Does the needy slut want my fingers in her pussy?”

You choke on your moan, nodding. “Yes, please.”

“Say it,” Kylo whispered, teasing you with the end of his finger.

“P-Please put your fingers in my pussy,” you cry out, the need for him building in your chest.

“Good girl.”

He plunges two fingers inside of you, curling them as your knees almost buckle. He chuckles as the Force takes hold of your legs, keeping you upright for him. You forgot how good his fingers felt pumping in and out of your aching pussy. Your head fell back against his shoulder as his other hand traveled down to find your clit, rubbing it at a faster pace than before.

“Do I make you feel good, baby?” Kylo asked teasingly, knowing the effect he had on you.

You nod, a string of moans escaping your throat as he increased his pace, your brain not seeming to form a coherent thought.

“Answer me, slut,” he growled in your ear, thrusting deeper into you.

“Y—fuck—yes!” You cried out, feeling your orgasm building in the pit of your stomach.

“That’s right; I know you love when I fuck your tight pussy.”

His words made your pussy clench, your breathing becoming erratic as his fingers hit the right spot over and over inside of you.

“K-Kylo, I’m gonna—“

The words were barely out of you before your orgasm slammed into you, white spots dancing in your vision. If it wasn’t for the Force, your legs would’ve collapsed underneath you. Your pussy throbbed as Kylo kept his fingers inside, nipping at your neck. After a moment, he removed his fingers, bringing them up to your mouth. You swirled your tongue around them, sucking on them slowly. You felt Kylo’s bulge twitch and he groaned into your ear. Smirking, you removed them from your mouth.

“Get on the bed,” you demanded, still trying to catch your breath from your orgasm.

Your tone was unexpected, surprise flashing in his eyes before lying on his back. You climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. As your ass pressed against his bulge, a moan escaped Kylo’s throat. You grabbed his face, bending down to kiss him as you slowly moved back and forth on his bulge, catching another one of his moans in your mouth.

You lifted the bottom of Kylo’s shirt, pushing it up. He let you take it off and you kissed his neck, sucking the skin softly, leaving hickeys all the way down to his chest. His hands twisted in your hair, a deep groan coming from him. Your nails dragged down his stomach, digging into the skin. His cock twitched and you smirked, knowing exactly what you were doing to him. You sat up, meeting his eyes as you moved to rest in between his legs on your knees, coming face to face with the tent in his sweatpants.

You pulled down the waistband, his dick slapping against his stomach. Looking up at him, you wrapped your hand around the base of his shaft, licking all the way up to the tip, swirling your tongue around it slowly.

“Fuck,” you heard him groan, his grip on your hair tightening.

You slowly took the tip in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it, teasing him the same way he teased you. Keeping your eyes locked, you slowly took him deeper in your mouth. Kylo threw his head back and you loved the way his eyes rolled back into his head.

Taking his dick out of your mouth, you squeezed his shaft. “Eyes on me.”

He lifted his head, a smirk on his lips as he looked into your eyes. You took his dick back in your mouth, going deeper this time. You gagged as he hit the back of your throat, but started bobbing your head at a steady pace. You moved up and down on his dick, the small moans and whimpers escaping Kylo’s mouth seeming to fuel your need to make him cum.

Taking a deep breath, you took him as deep as you could, the majority of his dick disappearing into your mouth.

“Holy fucking shit,” you heard Kylo moan, the sound going straight to your pussy, causing it to clench

You moaned against him as you came back up and started bobbing your head again, occasionally going down farther and farther. As Kylo’s moans got louder, his breathing more erratic, you went faster.

“I’m gonna fucking cum,” he moaned out, his cock twitching in your mouth.

His grip on your hair tightened as he came down your throat, still moving your mouth up and down his dick slowly. After a minute, you swallowed, popping his dick out of your mouth. He pulled your hair, guiding you to him, kissing you softly.

Pulling away, you groaned. “I really do have to go, Kylo.”

“I know,” he sighed, running his fingers through your hair.

You kissed him again, biting his lip softly.

“Be careful,” he whispered against your lips. “That’s dangerous.”

“You can pay me back next time,” you grinned, pulling at his lip again.

He laughed softly as he slapped your ass playfully. You climbed off him, pulling your shoes on. Grabbing your phone and purse, you shot a quick text to Finn and Poe, telling them you were find and you were on your way to their place.

“So, I’ll…see you Tuesday?” Kylo said, walking over to you.

“I’ll see you Tuesday,” you confirmed, lifting yourself up on your tippy toes to kiss him.

He kissed you back softly. “I’ll be thinking of you.”

“I know,” you smirked, opening his door.

Saying bye again, Kylo closed the door after you. The smile plastered to your face was stupid big. Kylo was starting to unravel.

And you really liked who he seemed to be.

Chapter Text

“So are you two dating now, or what?”

Finn’s question made you bite your lip, an unsure answer playing on your lips. “I’m not sure, Finn.”

It had been a week since the incident at the bar, and ever since, you and Kylo had spent a lot of time together. Tutoring sessions, time in each other’s dorm rooms, late night phone calls. It seemed like the two of you were dating…but Kylo never put a label on it. You had spent a lot of time talking to Finn and Poe about it, but not even their wise advice could seem to make any sense of the situation.

“Well, do you want to be dating him?” Poe asked, shoving a cookie into his mouth.

“I…I don’t know,” you said truthfully, biting your lip. “You guys know about my last boyfriend.”

The boys nodded, avoiding your gaze. You sighed, your thoughts racing as you thought of Kylo. Would you like to date him? Truth be told, you didn’t even know anything about Kylo other than the fact that he wears a shit ton of black and liked to be dominant in bed. But you didn’t really know Kylo.

“I’m gonna go,” you said, standing up. You yawned, stretching your arms out before grabbing your bag. “I told him I’d meet him in his dorm tonight. Maybe we can talk then?”

“Just talk?” Finn said suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows.

You slapped his chest lightly. “Shut up.”

Waving goodbye to your friends, you left their dorm and walked over to Kylo’s, wrapping your jacket tighter around your body. It was cold, soft snowflakes falling to the ground slowly. You were grateful for the rush of heat as you entered Kylo’s dorm, climbing the stairs to his room.

You didn’t even have to knock—Kylo knew you were here. Opening the door, your eyes landed on his face, smiling softly as he greeted you.

“Well, hello,” you said, dropping your purse on his floor as he shut the door behind you. You jumped on his bed, sitting on the edge of it.

Kylo didn’t say anything as he walked over to you, body hovering over yours as he placed his hands on your thighs. His dark eyes searched yours and you met his gaze, unwavering.

“What is it?” You asked, catching his hands in yours.

“You wanted to ask me something?” He questioned, his deep voice low.

“I’m pretty sure you already know what I want to ask.”

Kylo sighed, removing his hands from yours and moving to lay down behind you, your back to him. “I don’t know.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, turning your head to look back at him. “You don’t know what I want to ask or is that the answer to my question?”

Kylo was silent, a deep sigh emitting from him. You rolled over onto your stomach, your right leg wrapping around his lower half. He wrapped his arms around you, fingers running up your back slowly.

“I don’t know if I want to be your boyfriend.”

Ouch. His words stung and you immediately tried to pull away from him, the rejection going straight to your heart. He stopped you, keeping you in place as he looked down at you, the look in his eyes unreadable.

“It’s not because I don’t like you…” he said, his other hand reaching up to your face, thumb running across your cheek slowly. “I just…I’ve never…”

“You’ve never been with anyone before,” you finished for him, your voice a whisper.

His lack of response confirmed you were correct, and you braced yourself on your elbow, face hovering over his. Your eyes traced from his to his lips and back up.

“I don’t trust easily, Kylo,” you said, your right hand resting on his chest. “Someone hurt me. Before I came here, to school. I trusted him, and he hurt me in more ways than just emotional.” Your voice shook, the lump forming quickly in your throat. “You saved me. I don’t know your past. You might think you’re a monster, or a loner, or don’t deserve love, but I know that’s not true.” You smiled softly down at him, his hand resting on your lower back. “Everyone deserves love.”

“You don’t know who I am,” Kylo replied, voice barely above a whisper.

“Then let me see you.”

Kylo hesitated, eyes searching yours. Bringing your lips down to his, you kissed him softly. This kiss wasn’t like any of the kisses you two had shared before—it was almost innocent. It was soft. Shifting your weight on top of him, you brought your hands to cup his face, pulling back to look in his dark eyes. His hand traveled down your back, stopping right above the curve of your ass. There was a look in his eyes that you’d never seen before—a kind of vulnerability you don’t think he’s ever shown anyone.

Sitting up, you took off your shirt, revealing your pink lacy bra. You didn’t own a lot of nice bras, but this was definitely one of them. His hands traced up your stomach to your bra, his thumbs brushing underneath the wire softly, barely touching the bottom of your boobs. Your hands pushed his shirt up, exposing the soft skin of his chest and abdomen. He took it off and you immediately leaned down to kiss him again, his nails softly dragging up and down your back slowly.

Your lips left his and traveled across his jaw to his neck, sucking softly at the skin. A soft groan slipped past his lips and you felt the bulge in his pants push against you, his fingers working to undo your bra. One of your hands twisted in his hair as you sucked down his neck, leaving a small trail of hickeys across his skin.

Shaking the bra off, you tossed it to the floor and moaned out as Kylo’s lips immediately closed around one of your nipples, your back arching.

“Kylo,” you breathed out softly, his eyes flicking up to meet yours as his tongue swirled around your nipple, biting it softly.

You bit your lip as he switched to the other side, eyes fluttering shut as he flicked his tongue over your hard buds, his fingers still running up and down your back. After a moment, your grip in his hair tightened and you pulled his hair, forcing him to look up at you, a grunt escaping him. You leaned down, pulling him in for another soft kiss as you began grinding on the bulge he was pressing against you.

A deep moan left his lips as he gripped your hips, lips pushing harder against yours as you teased his erection. You broke the kiss, laughing softly as you looked into his eyes. You kissed across his jaw to his ear, biting his earlobe softly.

“Do you wanna fuck me?” You asked him softly, your hips still moving slowly, pushing against him.

Kylo made a sound that sounded like it was a half grunt/half whine and you chuckled, pushing yourself off him so you could take off your pants and underwear. Kylo did the same, his thick erection springing free as he tossed his clothes to the floor. Before you knew what was happening, you were on your back, Kylo’s mouth leaving a trail of kisses down your stomach as he spread your legs open.

In truth, it had been a long time since anyone had put their face anywhere near your pussy and you immediately became defensive, instinctively trying to close your legs, body shaking slightly.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kylo said softly, his hands rubbing your outer thighs. “Trust me.”

You met his eyes and swallowed before nodding; letting him part your legs again, body still trembling as he placed soft kisses on your inner thighs. His dark eyes never left yours as he slowly licked up your pussy, his tongue immediately finding your clit.

You let out a soft cry as he took your clit into his mouth, back arching softly. His tongue flicked against your sensitive nub and a moan left you, your hands going to twist in his hair. After a moment, his tongue ran down to your throbbing entrance, pushing in slowly, his thumb swirling soft circles around your clit.

“K-Kylo…” you cried out softly, grip tightening in his hair as you felt his tongue enter you.

He let out a small moan as your grip tightened, the sound sending vibrations through your core and you moaned again, feeling his tongue push in and out of you slowly. The pressure on your clit increased and your head tilted back, pure ecstasy running through you as Kylo Ren ate you out.

After a moment, his mouth ventured back up to your clit, sucking and flicking it fast and hard as he pushed two fingers inside of you, curling them to hit your sweet spot repeatedly.

“Fuck!” You moaned out as he drove you closer to your orgasm, pussy clenching around his fingers tightly.

Lifting up his face, he looked into your eyes, searching them. “Cum for me, baby girl.”

That was all the permission you needed, his tongue returning to your clit as your orgasm washed over you. Your body trembled as you came, knuckles white with how hard you were gripping onto Kylo’s hair. White spots danced in your vision for a moment before you released his head, panting softly.

Kylo’s mouth ran up your body to your lips, kissing you again. This kiss was more heated, more intense. Your arms wrapped around his neck and you shifted your position, sitting in his lap and wrapping your legs around his torso.

You pulled back from the kiss, your forehead pressed to his as you felt him line his cock up with your entrance, eyes never leaving his as you sunk down on his thick member. A loud moan left your lips as your lips parted, his thickness stretching you out as you took him inside of you completely. Kylo let out a slow breath, mouth agape as he pushed inside of you for the first time.

You didn’t move for a moment, getting used to his size as his arms wrapped around your lower back. Your arms wrapped around his neck, fingers twisting in his black hair. After a moment, you kissed him again softly, beginning to ride him slowly.

Kylo groaned into your mouth as you moved up and down on his cock, your bodies flush as the kiss intensified. All you could feel right now was pure passion as the two of you moved as one, his tight grip on your body helping you move his cock in and out of you.

You pulled back, looking deep into his eyes as you began to ride him faster, grunts of pleasure leaving Kylo’s mouth. Your name flew past his lips as his moans got louder, your head tilting back in pleasure.

“God, Kylo, you feel so good,” you groaned out as his lips pressed against your neck, beginning to fuck him faster as you felt your second orgasm approaching.

Kylo didn’t say anything—he didn’t have to. You met his eyes again and you realized this was something he had never done before. Not the sex—but the emotional part of it. He had never been vulnerable with anyone before, not like this. It had always been about a quick fuck for him—but you were different. This was different.

Kylo’s grip tightened around you as you kissed him again, moaning into his mouth as you teetered on the brink of your orgasm. Holding you in place, Kylo began thrusting up into you at a faster pace, pushing you over the edge.

“Cum for me!” He said, feeling your pussy clench around his member. His breath was coming in pants now, eyes meeting yours.

You cried out as his words sent you over the edge, body shaking as you finished on his cock, your grip tight in his hair. Your eyes never left his though, riding out your orgasm as he continued to fuck you. You knew he was on the edge, his breathing erratic.

“I-I want you to cum,” you whispered, pulling him even closer to you as you began moving up and down his cock again.

Kylo groaned, the look in his eyes vulnerable as he grew closer to his orgasm. You smiled softly at him, reassuring him as you felt his cock twitch inside of you.

“Cum for me, baby,” you commanded softly, your words seeming to send him over the edge.

Kylo cried out softly, thrusting up inside of you once more as you felt him finish inside of you. His nails dug into your back, his eyes never leaving yours as he became unraveled in front of you.

After a moment, his body relaxed and you kissed him softly, laying him down on his back before rolling over, both of you panting softly. You almost couldn’t comprehend what had just happened between you and Kylo Ren. That wasn’t just a fuck. It was something more.

“I felt it, too,” Kylo mumbled, looking over at you.

You turned your surprised gaze to him. “You did?”

Kylo nodded, smiling softly. “I did.”

You were silent for a moment before pulling him to you, letting him wrap his arms around you. You felt the heavy chains of sleep begin to pull you under.

As you drifted off, Kylo’s deep voice rang out around you.

“I let you see me.”

Chapter Text

“I’m dragging you out tonight.”

Kylo’s dark gaze turned toward you, raising his eyebrows skeptically. “Is that right?”

You grin, walking behind the chair he was sitting in, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He was studying for an upcoming chemistry test in your room, his notebooks scrawled all over your desk. Leaning over, you planted a kiss on the top of his head. “Yes. You, me, Poe, and Finn are all going out to a club tonight.”

Kylo leaned back into your touch, leaning his head against you. He looked up, eyes meeting yours. “Do I have to?”

You looked down at him, resting your hands on either side of his face. “Please? I want you to get to know Finn and Poe. I think you’ll really like them.” You leaned down to kiss his forehead.

“You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?” He mused, his eyes closing as you kissed his forehead.

A giggle escaped you and you moved to his side, leaning down to kiss down to his cheek. “Absolutely not.”

A rare grin spread across Kylo’s face and he turned his face to kiss you softly. “Fine. But I won’t enjoy a second of it.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled as you released Kylo. Things had been good between the two of you the past few days, and you felt like a real couple. Your mood had changed, your feelings toward Kylo changed, and to top it off, your grade in calculus had gone up, teetering on the edge of a 70.

Going to your closet, you decided to look for something to wear tonight. You hadn’t dressed up since Sam’s party, and you decided you wanted to look exceptionally stunning tonight.

You pulled out a tight black dress that left little to the imagination and a low cut blue dress. Looking over them both, you turned to Kylo, holding them up.

“Which one?” You asked, tilting your head to the side.

Kylo stood, looking over the two dresses. “I’d prefer to see you in nothing at all.”

You snorted, rolling your eyes. “Smooth.”

Pulling the dresses out of your hands, he threw them on the bed. A small smirk played on his lips as he wrapped his arms around you, his hands moving down to rest on your ass. Dragging his lips up your neck, he kissed softly. You close your eyes, pictures flashing through your mind of his fingers between your thighs, his lips biting at your neck, his thick cock down your throat.

He groaned in your ear and you felt his bulge press against you. “Your thoughts are so loud.”

“Don’t act like you don’t love it,” you whispered, a memory of his cock pushing inside of you enough to make him grip your hair tightly.

“Such a slut for me, hm?” Kylo questioned, his hands drifting to rest between your legs.

His words made you moan and you gripped his hair, pulling enough to force his head back, your lips going to his neck. He groaned and you sucked hard on his neck, leaving a dark trail of hickeys.

“It’s cute that you think you’re in control of this situation,” Kylo growled, rubbing your clothed pussy through your pants.

His touch made your moan and you pulled away, out of breath as you looked at Kylo.

“W-we can’t, it’ll make us late,” you stuttered as his long fingers kept teasing you.

“It’ll be quick,” Kylo murmured, his fingers running through your hair.

It took all of your willpower to pull away from him, looking him in the eyes. “You can fuck me like the slut I am later, we have to get ready.”

The dangerous glint in Kylo’s eyes said it all and he sighed, his nostrils flaring. “Fine. But you’re in for it later, baby girl.”

You smirk and give Kylo a small kiss before going to the bed and looking at the dresses.

“Black,” Kylo said, gathering his stuff.

“Meet me back here after you change,” you said, holding up the black dress.

After giving you a small kiss, he was on his way out the door.

You got ready, slipping on the tight black dress and admiring yourself in the mirror. It hugged all of your curves, and you chose not to wear a bra or panties, feeling a little scandalous for the night. Slapping on some red lipstick and mascara, you left your hair hanging loose around your face before slipping on a pair of black strappy heels.

A knock sounded at your door and you opened it to find Finn and Poe, looking as dashing as ever. They hugged you, looking excited to see you.

“I’m so glad we’re going out!” You exclaimed, leaning against your bed.

“It’s been too long since we’ve gotten fucked up,” Poe said, grinning at Finn.

“Seriously, it’s time to let loose,” Finn said. “We’re getting a Lyft tonight, right?”

You nodded. ‘Kylo should be here in a minute.”

Poe’s eyes widened. “So he is coming?”

“He is definitely coming,” you replied, crossing your arms.

“Well he’s in for a sight,” Finn said, motioning to your body. “You look HOT.”

You laughed and there was another knock at your door. You opened it to find Kylo’s tall frame hovering outside.

He always looked handsome, but tonight…he looked downright beautiful. He was wearing a black button up and a pair of black dress pants with black Vans. A light grey wool coat completed the look, coming about mid thigh. His hair hung around his face and he grinned as he looked over you.

“You look beautiful,” he said, leaning down to give you a kiss on the forehead.

“I was going to say the same about you,” you marveled, pulling him inside.

The short silence was awkward as Kylo looked at Finn and Poe.

“Uh, this is Finn and his boyfriend Poe,” you said, introducing them. “We’ve been friends since before we were even in college.”

“Nice to finally meet you,” Poe said, grinning at Kylo.

Be nice, you thought, smiling up at Kylo.

“I-It’s good to meet you, too,” he responded, a small smile on his face. “I’ve heard a lot about you. All good things.”

Soon the four of you were talking like you had been friends for years. Kylo was a bit quieter, but he was attempting, to say the least. After a few moments, the Lyft had arrived and the four of you piled into the car. Kylo gripped your hand and you rubbed his hand with your thumb, trying to comfort him. You knew he didn’t go out much, but you never knew why—but you weren’t going to leave his side all night.

Hearing that thought, you felt him relax and you looked up at him and smiled, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

“PDA you two,” Finn teased, and you rolled your eyes.

The Lyft arrived at the club; the group filed out and immediately went inside, the heavy bass of the music greeting them. Jeez, you almost forgot how fucking loud clubs were. Pulling out your fake, you went to the bar and ordered a rum and coke for you.

“What do you want?” You asked Kylo, realizing you’d never seen him drink before.

“Vodka sprite,” he replied, and you laughed. “What?” His tone was defensive.

“Big manly Kylo Ren drinking a vodka sprite?” You teased, the bartender pushing the two drinks in front of you.

“Shut up,” he said, grasping the drink and taking a sip.

You giggled and took a sip of your drink, watching Finn and Poe start to dance on the club floor. You glanced at Kylo and he laughed, leaning into your ear.

“You’re going to have to get me a lot drunker if you want me to dance,” he said, his breath tickling your ear.

“Challenge accepted,” you said back, biting your lip as you downed your rum and coke. “Drink.”

Kylo grinned and downed his drink as well. You ordered another round and two shots to go along with it. You were thankful for Kylo’s low tolerance—he was already pretty tipsy after two drinks and a shot. Grabbing his hand, you dragged him to the dance floor, wrapping your arms around his neck.

His arms wrapped around your waist and he put his forehead on yours, gazing into your eyes as you both moved to the beat of the song. He pulled you close to him, his hands travelling down to your ass, squeezing softly. Your smirk was prominent on your face, your fingers twisting in his hair.

You leaned in, lips brushing his ear. “Is it the alcohol that’s making you so touchy and confident?”

You could feel his smile and he laughed. “No, it’s you looking how you look right now.”

You returned his laugh and pulled him even closer, looking deep into his eyes. You could feel the hard bulge press against your stomach and you grinned, tugging on his hair slightly. You turned around, ass pressed against him as he kept his arms around your waist. The moan that left his mouth was heavenly, right by your ear. You could feel him getting impatient and your thoughts flashed to earlier, when he said how he’d fuck you later.

“Such dirty thoughts in a public place,” he whispered into your ear, his hands traveling further down your body, almost to the hem of your dress.

“It’s your fault,” you whined, biting your lip as you felt his hands creep down your body.

Kylo turned you around quickly, his lips hovering over yours for a moment before kissing you, the kiss hot and needy. He tasted like vodka. He bit your lip before kissing you again, his tongue pushing inside of your mouth. His hands traveled to your ass, squeezing it hard, a moan escaping your mouth.

“Bathroom, now,” you urged him, and he didn’t hesitate as he took your hand, pulling you off to the side hallway where the bathrooms were.

The two of you rushed into the women’s bathroom, locking the door behind you. Kylo wasted no time, pushing you against the bathroom wall, lifting you up by your ass. You wrapped your legs around him, causing your dress to ride up your thighs. His lips slammed into yours, your fingers twisting in his hair. His hands traveled to the inside of your thighs, moving up your already wet slit slowly.

“No panties tonight?” He whispered, groaning. “God, you’re such a whore.”

“I wanted to make it easy for you, daddy,” you said, grinning. It wasn’t often you called him that, but he seemed to be in an extra dominant mood tonight.

Another small groan left him and he suddenly plunged two fingers into your tight pussy, a loud moan flying past your lips. His thumb rubbed your clit and his left a trail of hickeys down the front of your chest, visible to the public eye.

“I want everyone here to know you’re you’re mine.

“Fuck! Yes, daddy!” You cried out, moaning as he hit that sweet spot. You were close, Kylo somehow being able to bring you to your orgasm quickly.

“Does the good girl wanna cum?” He asked, looking up into your eyes, managing to pump his fingers faster.

“P-please, Kylo,” you whispered, back arching as he inched you closer to your orgasm.

“Good girl, go ahead and cum for daddy,” he said, a devilish smirk on his face.

You cried out as you finished on his fingers, feeling a sensation you had never felt before. As Kylo finger fucked you through your orgasm, your body shuddered and spurts of clear liquid squirt out of your pussy, emitting a groan from Kylo.

“Mmm, you’ve never squirt for me before, baby girl,” he said, removing his fingers and licking up your pussy slowly.

“F-fuck, is that what that was?” You stuttered, trying to catch your breath as Kylo stood up, hovering over you. “That’s never happened before in my life.”

“I’m the only one who’s made you do that?” Kylo mused, eyes looking into yours.

You nodded, taking his fingers and sticking them in your mouth, sucking on them. A guttural moan escaped him and he used his other hand to unbutton his pants and pull his cock out, quickly lining it up with your slick entrance. He pushed in with ease, your moan stifled by his fingers in your mouth.

“I’m the only one who can make you feel this good.” It was a statement, not a question. Just a fact.

You nodded, pushing his fingers deeper in down your throat, causing you to gag. You felt Kylo’s cock twitch inside you and he groaned, starting to fuck you faster. His other hand came to wrap around your neck, squeezing softly as he looked into your eyes.

“Say it, baby girl. Say you’re mine. Say I’m the only one,” he groaned, taking his fingers from your mouth and kissing across your jaw, eyes looking deep into yours. It wasn’t all just mad lust inside of them—something more, something soft that Kylo had rarely shown you.

“Fuck, Kylo, you’re mine. Only mine. You’re the only one who can make me feel this good,” you moan out, your pussy clenching tightly around his cock.

A look of pride shone in Kylo’s eyes and his thrusts became erratic; you knew he was going to cum soon.

“You’re mine, baby.”

Baby? Kylo had never called you baby before. It felt personal…much more personal than any other pet name he’d called you.

“I’m yours,” you said, never taking your eyes off his.

After a few more thrusts, he groaned, legs shaking as he emptied his cum inside of you. He stayed like that for a moment, panting, and his forehead on your neck. He held you close to him, trying to steady his breathing as you felt his cock soften inside of you. You moved your hands to his face, moving it so you could look at him. His dark eyes looked into yours, full of happiness and pride, and another emotion you couldn’t place.

Oh, god.

I love him, you thought. I love Kylo Ren.

You felt him stiffen, obviously having heard your thoughts. He didn’t say anything as he lowered you to the ground, pulling up his pants and buttoning them again. He walked over to the stall, grabbing some toilet paper and walking back over to you, bending down to wipe the cum off your inner thighs that had dripped down. His eyes never left yours, a strange kind of innocence in them as he stood back up.

He didn’t say it, but you knew he loved you, too.

He kissed you softly before grabbing your hand. “Come on, I know your friends are missing us.”

“Give me a second, I’ll be there in a minute,” you said, knowing you needed to tidy up yourself before you saw your friends.

Kylo nodded and kissed you again before exiting the bathroom. You looked in the mirror, smoothing out your hair, fixing your lipstick, trying to attempt to cover the dark hickeys Kylo had placed on your neck and chest. After a moment, you knew it was hopeless and you sighed, giving yourself another once over before exiting the bathroom.

As the door shut behind you, you jumped as a laugh rang out behind you

Your blood ran cold—you knew that laugh. You’ve heard that laugh many times before; right before he slapped you, kicked you, forced you into his submission. You felt lightheaded as you began to turn around.

Kylo, please help me, you thought, your eyes landing on the redhead in front of you.

“Nice to see you again,” the British voice said, his tone light. “It’s been too long.”

“Hux,” you said, voice shaking. “How the fuck did you find me?"

Chapter Text

Your heart was pounding in your ears, a sort of dizzy feeling washing over you as you looked at the man you tried to forget every day standing in front of you. His red hair was as it always was—slicked back just a little to keep it out of his eyes. His tall frame was leaning against the wall next to the bathroom, green eyes on your face. His lips were twisted into a smug smirk. He was dressed strikingly similar to Kylo—black button up, black pants. You instinctively backed away from Hux, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“You think you’re so clever,” he sneered, standing upright. “Did you really think you could just…leave me? And start over?”

Hux made you feel small. That’s what he was good at—manipulating the situation to make him look like the victim. But you remembered the sting of skin right after he hit you, the inability to catch your breath after one of his blows landed, the tingling of your scalp as he gripped your hair.

“I left you because you’re a manipulative piece of shit,” you spat back, trying to keep your voice from wavering.

Hux’s eyes narrowed and he flared his nostrils. “You manipulated me. You made me think you were never going to leave me and then…you just disappear.”

He was inching closer to you and fear pumped through your veins. The last thing you ever wanted was to see him again. You felt tears well up in your eyes, threatening to spill over as he advanced toward you.

“P-please just leave,” you whispered, surprised at how small your voice was. “I don’t want to see you.”

“No,” Hux replied, cocking his head.

“She said leave.”

You almost sobbed when you heard Kylo’s voice behind you, and you turned toward him. He walked over to you, putting a hand to your cheek. His gentle eyes searched yours to make sure you were alright. You nodded, reaching up to twist your fingers in his, holding his hand tightly—like if you let go he might disappear. His gaze turned to Hux, the gentleness replaced with hatred—a dangerous look.

“Oh, does she have a bodyguard now?” Hux joked, eyes flicking to you and Kylo’s entwined hands.

“No.” Kylo’s voice was cold. “She doesn’t have to explain herself to you.”

“The hell she does!” Hux exclaimed, his voice rising. “She left me. Not even a proper goodbye either…just up and left.”

Kylo cocked his head, the look in his eyes unchanging. “You hurt her.” He took a step toward Hux and you saw your old boyfriend almost back up—almost. “If you come near her or hurt her again, I’ll kill you.” It was almost scary how calm Kylo’s voice was. You knew the threat was real, too—you’d already seen how ruthless Kylo could be when someone was hurting you.

Hux was speechless, his mouth opening but no sound escaping. Kylo tugged on your hand gently, rubbing his thumb over your hand.

“Let’s go,” Kylo said, his hand leaving yours. He wrapped his arm around you protectively. “I’m sick of this club.”

Still shaken, he led you out to the main floor. The music sounded like it was miles away, Kylo leading a dazed you through the crowd. The two of you found Finn and Poe, concern immediately entering their faces as they saw your state.

“We’ll explain later,” Kylo told them reassuringly. “I need to get her out of here.”

Finn and Poe nodded and they ordered two separate Lyfts—one for them, and one for you and Kylo. They were pretty smart at sensing when something was wrong. They also knew your past—so they knew it was going to be a difficult conversation for you, hence the separate Lyfts. Kylo opened the door for you and gently made sure you got into the Lyft before shutting the door and going around to the other side.

He slid in the middle, buckling in and wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you close to him. You rested your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling.

“I…I—“

“Shhhh,” Kylo said, running his fingers through your hair. “We can talk at the dorm.”

The ride was short, and Kylo paid the driver. He laced his fingers through yours as you silently walked back to his room. After closing the door to his room, he said nothing as he unbuckled your shoes, pulling them off your feet and setting them by the door. Your dress was next, leaving you naked in his dorm room. He pulled a black shirt out of his dresser and slipped it over your head before pulling a pair of his sweatpants up your legs. You moved to sit on the edge of his bed and watched him change into a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt.

He sat beside you and grasped your hand. “Are you okay?”

You looked into his eyes and sniffed, trying not to cry. “I can’t believe he found me.”

“Will you tell me about it?” He asked gently. “Please?”

Biting your lip, you swallowed. “Hux is my ex-boyfriend. He…he wasn’t always the way he is now. Everything started out so sweet at first—cute dates, flowers, words of affirmation. But the closer we got…the worse he acted.” Your grip on Kylo’s hand tightened. “He started…getting physical. It started light. A slap here and there. A tug of my hair or a really tight grip on my arm. He always said he was sorry and he would never do it again.” Your voice was thick, trying to hold back tears.

“But it didn’t stop,” Kylo stated, not accusingly. It was just a statement—a fact.

You nodded, pushing your hair behind your ears. “It escalated pretty quickly. He…he would punch me in the stomach, or kick me when I was on the ground. I-it got so bad; he forced me to have sex with him one time.” You let the dam break, the tears streaming down your cheeks. “S-so I left. I went to Finn and Poe. They were the only ones who knew about it.”

“They didn’t try to stop it?” Kylo asked, concern flashing through his eyes.

“I told them not to,” you told him. “I feel stupid every day that I told them not to help me. I thought…I thought I could handle things by myself.” Kylo wiped the tears from your cheeks and you gave him a small smile. “They helped me get into school and I never looked back. They’ve been my rocks ever since. And I promised myself I would never let anyone make me feel the way Hux made me feel.”

Kylo was silent for a moment. “Do you remember that night? When that guy was going to hurt you and I told you that you were screaming in my head?”

You nodded, looking into his brown eyes. “Yes.”

“Tonight, you were screaming ten times louder.” Kylo swallowed, breaking his gaze from yours and looking down at the ground. “I…I don’t know what I would have done if he had hurt you.” His voice broke slightly and you placed your fingers under his chin, making him look at you.

“He didn’t hurt me. You were there,” you said softly. “Every time I need you, you’re always there.”

Kylo looked into your eyes and leaned in, kissing you softly. You kissed him back, your right hand cupping his face. The kiss was hesitant and sweet. You pulled back, resting your forehead on Kylo’s.

“Kylo…” you whispered, looking into his eyes.

“Ben.”

You pulled back slightly, confusion in your face. “What?”

“My name…my real name,” he said, his cheeks becoming red. Was Kylo Ren embarrassed? “My real name is Ben Solo.”

“Ben…” you smiled, running your fingers gently through his hair. “Wait, are you related to Leia Organa?”

“She’s my mom,” he said, biting his lip. He was nervous.

You were silent for a moment. “She’s one of the most powerful Force users in the world.” You rubbed his cheek with your thumb. “Which would you rather me call you?”

“What?” He asked, putting his hand on yours.

“Ben or Kylo?”

He bit the inside of his cheek, thinking. “I’d prefer Kylo. I…I just wanted you to know who I really am.”

That statement filled you with a happiness you hadn’t felt in a long time. Your lips found his again and you kissed him passionately. His hands went to your hair, twisting his fingers in it gently.

He doesn’t want to hurt me, you realized.

You pulled away, panting softly from the intensity of the kiss. “Can we…just lay here? I’m so tired.”

“Of course,” he whispered, kissing your forehead. “We can do whatever you want.”

He lay back against his bed and you followed suit, resting your head on his chest. His arms wrapped around you, his fingers running up and down your back gently. Your fingers ran lazy circles around his chest, his chin resting on the top of your head. You felt so safe in his arms; it was like you belonged there.

“You do,” Kylo said, your thoughts protruding his once again.

Laughing, you leaned up to kiss his neck softly. He gave a small chuckle, grip tightening around you. Your arm snaked to his head, playing with his hair softly.

I love you, you thought. I love you, I love you, I love you.

A part of you couldn’t say it out loud—but you knew why. He knew why, too.

“I love you, too,” he whispered back. “You don’t have to say it until you’re ready.”

And that was enough for you. Right now, being wrapped in the arms of the man you loved was enough.

Chapter Text

Kylo’s arms around you were the first thing you felt the next morning. Your bodies had shifted in the night—his chest rest against your back, his hands resting on your stomach. His right cheek presses against the side of your head, mouth slightly agape. You shift your weight, his hardness—completely unaware to him—pressing against your ass.

He mumbles in his sleep before inhaling sharply, his body jolting awake. His grip around you tightens, his hips pushing against you, further pushing his hard length against your backside.

“Well, good morning to you, too,” you mumble, a soft laugh leaving you.

“I’m sorry,” he groans, kissing your cheek.

You roll over, your hands resting on either side of his neck. Your right leg wraps around his hips, moving your core closer to his clothed length. His dark eyes flick to yours, his hands gripping your back tightly.

“Don’t be sorry,” you say, kissing across his sharp jaw. “I’m pretty fucking horny.”

His laugh vibrates his chest, his hands moving down your back and under your shirt. His fingers trace up your back slowly, and you shiver. His lips crash into yours, the kiss scorching. He flips you onto your back, your hands moving to twist in his thick hair.

Breaking the kiss, you bite his bottom lip. Desire flashes through Kylo’s eyes. “Fuck me, Kylo.”

Darkness enters Kylo’s eyes and he smirks, his lips moving to your jaw. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You tilt your head, grip tightening in his hair. “P-please, Kylo.”

“How bad do you want me, slut?” His breath tickles your ear, biting your earlobe gently.

You suppress a moan as his lips move to your neck. “I want you so bad, Kylo.”

You feel his smirk against your neck, his hands moving to take off your shirt. He immediately attaches his lips to one of your nipples, causing your back to arch. His tongue flicks over your nipple and a tingle runs down your spine, going straight to your core. You feel the wetness gather between your thighs, his covered cock pressing into you making you squirm even more.

Kylo’s right hand snakes up around your neck, squeezing lightly. You gasp, eyes fluttering shut. Kylo’s teeth bite your nipple and he pulls, a soft cry coming out of you.

“Eyes on me, little girl,” Kylo demands.

Opening your eyes, they land on his face. He removes his hand from your neck and sits up, tossing his shirt over his head, revealing his soft, sculpted chest. Your nails rake softly down his chest and abdomen and he shivers, a small moan flying past his lips. You press down a little harder, leaving red marks down his stomach, emitting a small growl from Kylo.

He hooks his fingers under the waistband of the pair of sweatpants and panties, pulling both of them down simultaneously. You watch him, his long fingers running up your wet slit.

“It’s almost sad how wet I can make you by barely even touching you,” he muses, eyes flicking up to yours.

His fingers flick over your clit quickly and you squirm, hips bucking. Heaviness keeps them in place and you groan. He was using the Force.

You bastard, you thought.

The big grin on his face made you know he heard you, and he inserts a finger into your core, a long moan leaving you. The Force holds your hips down, groaning when he began thrusting his finger in and out of your pussy.

“God, you’re so wet,” he coos, planting a kiss on your lower stomach.

Your pussy clenches around his finger, his thumb moving to your clit, brushing over it softly. You whine, the sound high pitched.

“Use your words, little girl,” he chuckles, his finger curling inside of you.

“F-fuck, Kylo, please stop teasing me!” You beg, your words causing another chuckle to leave him.

He obliges, his thumb rubbing quick circles around your clit. You moan out, feeling him add another one of his fingers into you. You start to feel yourself unravel, on the brink of release.

“I-I’m so close,” you groan out, knowing that if the Force wasn’t holding down your hips, you’d be squirming.

Suddenly, his fingers disappear and you let out a strangled whine. “Kylo!”

His shit-eating grin fills you with frustration and you watch as he pulls down his sweatpants, his thick cock springing free. He says nothing as he rubs his member up and down your wet slit, brushing your clit.

“Kylo…” you whine, his right hand snaking up to rest around your neck again.

“Ask me nicely,” he commands, his tip right by your entrance.

You take in a shaky breath, meeting his eyes. “P-please fuck me, Kylo.”

He grunts as he pushes his cock into you, a long moan escaping you. His grip tightens on your throat slightly, just enough to make it a little difficult to breathe. His face hovers over yours, dark eyes burning into you.

“You’re so tight for me, little girl,” he says, groaning softly.

He thrusts into you harder, picking up the pace. A string of moans leave your mouth, the sound muffled by Kylo’s lips pressing onto yours. His grip tightens around your throat as he fucks you mercilessly, his thick cock moving in and out of you, pushing you closer to your ever-impending orgasm.

He pulls his head back, panting softly. Your vision begins to blur at the edges and you tap his hand, his grip loosening a little. You inhale sharply, eyes searching his as his left hand reaches down to rub your clit.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” He whispers, his thrusts remaining steady.

You nod, feeling your orgasm bubbling in your lower stomach. His fingers halt on your clit, his dick buried inside of you as he stops. You let out a whine, longing for your release.

“Use your words,” Kylo says, his thumb resting on the edge of your lips.

“Yes, fuck, I’m going to be a good girl!” You cry out, wanting release.

Kylo smirks and he resumes fucking you, his fingers working quickly on your clit. Moaning, you arch your back, your hips still held down by the Force. Your orgasm slams into you like a train, legs shaking as your pussy throbs erratically around his cock.

“Good girl,” he praises, his fingers leaving your clit as you finish.

Your breathing comes in pants as he tightens his grip on your neck again, his thrusts becoming faster. You could tell he was close and he looked into your eyes.

“You absolutely ruin me, you know that, little girl?” He says, his voice soft and strained. “You’ve ruined me.”

Your hands reach up to cup his face, brushing the hair out of his eyes. His thrusts become irregular, his cock twitching inside of you.

“Cum inside me,” you whisper, almost begging.

Your sentence pushes Kylo over the edge and he plants his head in the crook of your neck, releasing his hand and moaning softly as you feel him finish inside of you. You feel him panting against your neck, his cock twitching softly inside of you. His hands move to your hair, running his fingers through it gently.

“You’ve ruined me, too,” you whisper, your own hands running up and down his back.

He laughs breathlessly, lifting his head up. His eyes search yours and he kisses you softly before pulling out of you. You feel empty as he leaves you, a grunt coming out of you. He stands up, naked, opening his top dresser drawer. He pulls out a black graphic tee, slipping it on over his head. As he’s getting dressed, you pull the sweatpants you were wearing back up, sitting up and putting Kylo’s shirt on.

You sit on the edge of his bed, watching him run his fingers through his hair. He looks at you, a soft smile on his lips. He walks over to you, resting his hands on either side of your thighs. He plants a soft kiss on your lips, pulling back.

“Let me walk you to your dorm,” he says, pulling you to a standing position.

He grabs a hoodie from his closet, pushing it over your head. You recognize it—he wears it often. It smells like cedar and cinnamon…like Kylo. He laces his fingers through yours, leaving your clothes from last night in his room. The cold air hits you as Kylo opens the front door for you and you shiver, thankful for the warmth from his hoodie. The two of you walk in silence, still glowing from your post-sex high.

You enter your room, tossing your purse on the ground. You yawn, looking at Kylo standing awkwardly by your door. As many times as he’s been here, he still seems to hold an air of uncertainty.

“I’m going to take a shower,” you say, taking his hoodie off and laying it on the bed. “You can join me if you want.”

You strip down, feeling Kylo’s unmoving gaze bore into you, his eyes tracing over every curve of your body. Grabbing a towel, you slip into the bathroom, turning the water almost on the highest setting, the steam filling the room. After a moment, you step into the shower, the water relaxing your tired muscles. Closing your eyes, you lean your head back, letting the water wash over your hair.

A couple minutes pass when you hear the door open. A smile grows on your face, keeping your eyes close. The shower door opens and you feel Kylo behind you. His hands trace up your sides, the grin on your face growing wider.

He grabs the soap, running it over his hands before slowly bringing his hands to your stomach. He washes your body gently and you tilt your head, letting his chin rest in the crook of your neck.

You didn’t want sex—this was about comfort. After washing your body, he turns you around, looking down at you. He squirts some shampoo into his hand before running it through your hair, making sure to massage your scalp gently. You smile at him and close your eyes as your put your head under the spray of water, Kylo’s hands making sure all the shampoo is out. He repeats this step with the conditioner, his hands resting on your neck after he’s done.

You decide to reciprocate, first gathering the soap in your hands before running them up and down his body, massaging his muscles. You twist him around so he’s under the water, making sure to wash all the soap off him. You run your fingers through his hair, getting it wet enough so you can shampoo it. You repeat the steps he did on you, washing his hair and making sure it gets cleaned completely.

Kylo’s skin glistens as he wraps his arms around you. “That felt nice.”

You laugh softly, your hands on his neck. “Thank you for that.”

He leans down to kiss your forehead. “Anything for you.”

“Come on, we’re wasting water,” you say, turning off the water.

The two of you step out and dry off. You pull on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, Kylo pulling his clothes back on. The two of you sit on your bed and he brushes your hair, making sure to be gentle in case of knots.

“I’d like to propose something.” His deep voice breaking the silence.

“And what would that be?” You ask, closing your eyes as he brushes your hair.

“A date,” he says, putting the brush down next to you.

You turn around and face him, picking up the brush and running it through his hair. “I’d like that.”

His eyes brighten. “Really?”

“Of course, dummy,” you reply, running your fingers through his wet hair.

“Tonight?” He cups your cheek with his hand, running his thumb across it.

“Yes,” you say, grinning.

His stupid grin lights up his face and you laugh. He leans in and kisses you before getting up.

“Where are you going?” You ask him, your legs dangling over the bed.

“I have to get the date ready,” he says, opening your door. He turns back to look at you, the smile still on his face. “I’ll see you tonight; I’ll be here at seven.”

He closes the door and you’re left on your bed, a dumb smile on your face. Kylo Ren was taking you on a date—and he was excited for it.

Seven couldn’t come soon enough.

Chapter Text

What do you wear on a date when you had no idea where you were going?

You sigh, flipping through the clothes in your closet for the fourth time. You want to look nice for tonight’s date—even though you had known Kylo for a couple months, tonight was your first official date with him. And of course, Kylo being Kylo, hadn’t given you any idea where the two of you were going.

You finally opt for a more upscale casual look. A pair of high waist black pants, a red flowy blouse that had three-quarter sleeves and a low neckline, and a pair of chunky heels. You decide to keep your face natural, only applying a highlight to your cheekbones and nose and a little mascara. Your hair fell around your shoulders, loose and natural.

“I hope this looks okay…” you mutter, looking at yourself in the mirror.

You were nervous—thought you didn’t really know why. Maybe it had to do with the fear of the unknown, or maybe it was because you and Kylo were crossing over into a new part of your relationship with each other. The two of you have had sex, yes, but this was something completely different. This was about emotions and feelings—about care and trust for one another.

A knock at the door jolts you out of your thoughts and you grab the cold doorknob, taking a deep breath as you open the door.

Kylo wore a black button up with a pair of denim jeans, and a pair of black Converse. You exhale slowly at his casual look, knowing you were probably dressed correctly for the occasion. You eyes ran up to his face, a small smile playing on his lips. His hair was loose, slightly wavy. His dark eyes were light, meeting yours.

“You are so beautiful,” he says, leaning down to give you a kiss.

Heat flushes your cheeks and you smile sheepishly. “Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

He offers you his hand. “Shall we?”

Taking his hand, you close the door behind you and begin walking with Kylo out of your building. His hand grips yours lightly, a little sweaty.

“Sorry, I’m a little nervous,” he chuckles, side eyeing you.

You laugh, squeezing his hand. “I’m also nervous, so honestly it’s probably just a mix of both of us.”

He smiles and leads you to his car, opening the door for you. You climb in and he does the same, starting the car.

“Do I get any hints as to where you’re taking me?” You ask, fingers tapping on your knee.

“We are going to Dagobah Park.” He begins driving, the radio at a low volume.

“Oh my gosh, are we going on a picnic?” You ask, your face lighting up.

His lips twitch like he’s going to smile, but he never answers. You take that as a yes, giggling as you reach over and take his right hand. He runs his thumb over your hand as he drives. You look over at him, taking in the sight of his side profile. Your eyes trace from his forehead, to his eyes (accentuated by his thick eyelashes—boys don’t understand how easy they have it), to his straight nose, his plump lips, his jaw line.

“You know, I can see you staring,” he mutters.

“And?” You retort, eyes not leaving his face. “Can I not look?”

“Looking and staring are different.”

You’re just beautiful, you think to him, the words feeling too dumb to say it out loud.

“I’m not beautiful,” he scoffs.

“Are, too,” you argue back, tone playful.

He shakes his head, eyes staying on the road, but the grip on your hand tightens. After a few minutes, you arrive at the park. He parks and you unbuckle your seatbelt, pushing the door open. You close the door forcefully and turn around to see Kylo holding a little picnic basket and light blue blanket. He has a sheepish grin on his face, a small blush on his cheeks.

“This is too cute,” you say, walking over to him.

“Come on,” he says, leading the way to a little clearing in the park.

The sun was setting, a pink and orange hue coloring the sky. Kylo found the spot—a little clearing with a good view of the sunset—and spread the blanket out. He took a seat and pats the spot next to him.

“Come here,” he beckons, the picnic basket in front of him.

You sit next to him, crossing your legs, your right knee touching his left leg. He starts unpacking the picnic—little turkey sandwiches, sliced apples, barbeque chips. He places the items neatly on the blanket, pulling out a bottle of champagne and two plastic glasses last. You look at the picnic before you, a smile spreading across your face. You turn toward him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“This looks…perfect, Kylo, it’s perfect.”

He exhales a breath you knew he’d been holding in. “Really?”

You nod. “Really. This is amazing.”

“Well…let’s eat then,” he says, a rare grin spreading across his face.

The two of you begin eating, taking rotating bites of sandwiches, apples, and chips. A soft breeze acted up on occasion—ruffling you and Kylo’s hair, lifting up the edges of the blanket. The food looked homemade and you finished off a sandwich, looking at Kylo.

“Did you make all of this yourself?” You asked, grabbing an apple slice.

Kylo nodded, chewing on some chips. He swallowed, leaning back on his hands. “I did. Except the chips, of course. Those are from Kroger.”

A small chuckle leaves you. “I’m still impressed, nonetheless. This is…this is so sweet.”

He grabs the champagne, expertly popping open the bottle like he’s done it a thousand times. Pouring a little in a glass, he hands it to you.

“You deserve good things,” his voice was soft. “After all of the bad, you deserve something good.”

You were speechless, eyes meeting his. Your mouth hangs open, unable to form words as you grip the champagne glass. No one has ever said anything like that to you before—and you realize he’s right. You do deserve good. Kylo realizes that. You clear your throat, taking a small sip of champagne, the bubbles exploding in your mouth.

“Thank you,” you say, the response not as climactic or romantic as you had hoped.

Kylo inches closer to you, the sides of your bodies now flush. He reaches over and laces his fingers in yours, letting your entwined hands fall on his lap. The two of you drink your champagne, the sun quickly setting behind the horizon. Soon, the dark sky was full of stars, bright and shiny against the black backdrop.

You set your glass down, scooting down to lay on your back so you could look up at the sky. You pull Kylo down with you, grinning as he grunts.

“Look at the stars,” you say, your hand squeezing his.

The bright dots in the sky comforted you—you had always liked the stars. Your eyes traced constellations, trying to make out what was what. You felt Kylo’s gaze shift from the sky to your face, his head turning slightly.

Without taking your eyes off the sky, you say, “You’re not looking at the stars.”

“How am I supposed to look at the stars when I have something three times as beautiful laying next to me?”

You had never heard Kylo compliment you like that, and your head turns to him, eyes landing on his. They were warm and inviting, a smile on his face. Your left hand reaches over to cup his cheek, rubbing your thumb over it slowly. He closes his eyes, taking in the feeling of your touch. Tears well in your eyes—but not sad tears; these tears were happy. You were in the presence of a man who loves you and trusts you—a man who views you as beautiful, as precious.

“I love you.”

It was the first time you had spoken those words out loud, and Kylo’s eyes flew open. Your hand moved to his hair, running your fingers through it slowly. Kylo smiled, wiping away a stray tear that had managed to escape.

“I love you, too.”

He leans in, capturing your lips with his, the kiss soft. He pulls away, a little breathless chuckle escaping him. He kisses your nose, then your forehead, then the top of your head before resting his forehead against yours. You grin, looking into his warm eyes.

“You are beautiful, you know,” you tell him, still playing with his hair.

“If you say so,” he says, giving you another kiss.

You pull away, laughing at him. He grins and the two of you sit up. You shift positions, sitting in between his legs, both of his arms wrapping around you. You lead your head back onto his chest, his chin resting on the top of your head. The two of you stay like that for a while, not speaking, just soaking in each others’ presence.

“Kylo?” You ask after a while.

“Yes, baby?” He responds, voice a little raspy.

“I’m sleepy, can we go?”

He laughs and kisses your cheek before untangling himself from you. “Come on.”

He helps you up and gathers the picnic stuff, putting it all into the basket. You pick up the blanket, folding it neatly before grabbing his hand and walking back to his car. He puts the items in his trunk while you open the passenger door, climbing in and buckling up. As he drives, he keeps his hand on your knee, fingers tracing small patterns in it absent-mindedly.

The walk back to your dorm was quiet, Kylo’s arm wrapped around you as you walk. You unlock your door and you both enter, the silence cut by a deep yawn coming out of you.

“God, I’m tired,” you say, immediately taking off your clothes.

Kylo eyes you, a small grin on his face as you put on a t-shirt. You decide on no pants and climb into your bed, looking over at Kylo.

“Are you gonna come here or not?” You ask, grinning playfully. “You don’t have to wear your pants if you wanna be comfy.”

Kylo laughs and kicks off his shoes and pants, unbuttoning his shirt as well before climbing into bed behind you. He wraps his arms around you, squeezing you tightly as you lay there.

“I really did have fun tonight,” you tell him, voice sleepy.

“I did, too,” he replies, his thumb rubbing over your stomach.

You smile, closing your eyes. “I do love you.”

“I know,” he says, kissing the top of your head.

After a moment, Kylo begins humming a song that was on the radio earlier. His voice was soothing, the vibrations from his chest transferring to your back. The sound eventually soothes you to sleep, Kylo’s voice the last thing you hear as you drifted off.