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Chapter Text

Peter managed sobriety for two weeks; Lucian had to admit it was impressive and he was genuinely proud of him, despite how difficult it obviously had been for him especially with the wet bar in the apartment. The only thing that broke his longest run of staying sober was a hunting assignment gone wrong, admittedly that was Lucian’s fault. He’d been distracted when they had gone into the location, he hadn’t noticed the vampire until they’d slammed him against a nearby wall and slammed a blade into his shoulder, a blade that normally would only hurt, but this one burned badly enough to make him scream and howl in pain, teeth extending into fangs as he thrashed against the bastard who watched him gleefully.

“I fucking knew it; you are a wolf.” The vampire had said mostly to himself, dark eyes lit up with twisted delight as he twisted the silver blade that was hilt deep in him, he dragged it down.

Lucian reached up wrapping his fingers around the bastard’s throat squeezing hard as he tried to pry him off of him, the searing pain clouding his mind as he clawed and kicked against the vampire who pulled the knife from him, he hauled his arm back ready to slam the blade into Lucian’s heart, only the strike never came. He froze, eyes widening and mouth dropping open, he stumbled back looking down at himself, at the blade sticking out through his own chest. Lucian watched as the vampire was shoved to the side, Peter pressed his boot clad foot against the vampire’s back shoving it off his sword watching as it collapsed lifelessly to the floor. Blood was splattered across his shirt and his face, hair sweat soaked and eyes dark and wild as he stared down at the corpse on the floor, immense hatred in his eyes as he kicked at the body. Lucian clutched his hand against the gaping wound in his shoulder, blood spilling between his fingers, the wound would close, eventually.

A pained whimper from the lycan drew Peter’s attention back to the present and back to his bleeding partner. There was a panicked look in his eyes as he crowded against him, moving his hand so that he could look at the nasty stab wound, blood still pouring from it like a fountain.

“Blood, I need.” He managed out as he placed his bloodied hand against Peter’s chest gently pushing him back a step.

He stumbled away from him and collapsed to his knees next to the vampire, he tangled his fingers in the creature’s hair jerking its head back, he leaned down sinking his fangs into its throat ripping through soft pliable flesh, eyes paling as blood filled his mouth spilling down his chin and dripping to the floor. He could feel the muscle and tissue mending itself as he continued to drink from the corpse. He could also feel Peter watching him, he worried he was scared by this, disgusted. It wasn’t like this was the first time he’d seen him do this, seen him feed off of a vampire or kill and devour a wild animal he hunted while in his wolf form, but he still worried this disgusted him, reminded him that he was just another vicious monster like those in the stories. He stopped feeding once the burning pain gave way to a slight throbbing ache. He pulled back running the back of his arm across his mouth, he kept his eyes on the body feeling the tension in the air, he could hear Peter’s heavy breathing.

Soon there were arms wrapped around him as Peter drew him into a tight embrace, fingers digging into the fabric of his t-shirt as he clung onto him as if he’d never see him again. Peter kissed the top of his head, whispered something he could barely make out. There was a relief in knowing he wasn’t disgusted, though he felt guilty for scaring him in a different way.

“I’m okay,” he assured as he patted his arm.

“I should have been down here, I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t know he was down here either.”

“Silver, he had fucking silver.” Peter muttered frustrated as he rests his forehead against the side of his head.

He wanted to tell him now wasn’t a good time to be panicking about what had just happened, that he could do that once they were back in the comforts of their home surrounded by ancient weapons that Peter bought online. He knew though that when Peter was like this it was difficult to break him from it.

“He could have killed you, he was, if I hadn’t come down here then he was….He could have killed you, he was going to kill you.”

Lucian carefully pulled away from him just so he could turn around to face him. Peter was pale with fear, tears filled his eyes as he stared at the other man, eyes darting to the mostly healed stab wound. Peter reached out placing his hand against the fresh scar that now stood in place of where a gaping wound was two minutes ago, his hand shook.

“Peter I’m okay, you saved me, okay?” He kept his voice soft and gentle as he took hold of his wrist, fingers stroking his skin.

“He knew,” he whispered, eyes still fixed on the scar.

“It was going to happen eventually, word travels quickly through the supernatural community when there’s a lycan around.”

He’d transformed too many times on their jobs, enough times that vampires were finding out that there was a breed of wolf around, he hoped they wouldn’t learn that he was the original of the lycans. He didn’t need those old ghosts dredged up.

“What now?”

“You give me the car keys so that I can drive us back home.” He said holding out his hand to him.

Peter stared dumbly down at his open hand for a second before jamming his hand into his pockets and retrieving his keys dropping them in the other man’s open palm. Lucian got to his feet; he took hold of Peter’s hands pulling him up. He wasn’t entirely sure what to expect from him; there were multiple ways that Peter tended to deal with these things. Lucian hoped he would cry, he hoped he would talk, let him hold him, or even just lock himself away while he worked through this himself. He hoped for anything that wouldn’t end up with Peter going straight to his liquor supply the second they stepped over the threshold.

In the car he was silent, head leaning against the cool glass of the passenger window as he stared at the buildings that passed them by, the fluorescent lights of the casinos casting a ghastly glow over Peter’s blood stained face as they drove down the main strip and towards the complex he lived in. Thankfully in Vegas people didn’t question it much if they saw somebody bloodied, especially if it was Peter Vincent. Lucian had learned though long ago that humans often only saw what they wanted to see; even when a fraction of humans had found out that lycans and vampires were real it hadn’t taken long before they were finding excuses for the phenomenon, repressing what they’d learned and lulling themselves into a false reality once more.

As he pulled up to the curb outside of the complex, he reached over placing his hand on Peter’s arm giving it a firm squeeze drawing the hunter’s attention to him. Peter looked less panicked as he turned his head to face him, but his expression seemed vague, haunted.

“We’re home,” he informed him.

Peter looked back out the window towards the building nodding as he wordlessly got out of the car, Lucian followed suit walking around to join him on the sidewalk. Peter stretched groaning as bones popped as he stretched his arms up over his head, t-shirt riding up exposing his lower stomach. A couple of people passing by looked at them, one woman grimacing in disgusts at the state of them. Lucian took hold of his hand dragging him away from the public and into the building where they were less likely to get stares. He knew if they stayed outside too long then they would certainly get a question or two about why they looked like they’d just gotten out of Battle Royale.

Just like in the car Peter was quiet as they got onto the lift, choosing to stand in the corner, head leaning back against the wood paneled wall as he stared up at the white ceiling. Lucian stood by his side, watched him, waited for him to say something at all. He wondered if he should initiate conversation, but he was at a loss as to what to say. He wanted to assure him he was okay again, he wanted to lie and say that being killed was impossible, but that was cruel considering they both knew that would be a lie. He didn’t know what to say, he wanted to beg him not to run to the bar the second that he unlocked the door to their flat. It was something that he dreaded about going home; he wanted to drag Peter back to the bathroom and get them both cleaned up then just go to bed, talk things out, or just lay in silence. Instead he knew Peter would do what Peter wanted to do, what he did when he was scared this badly.

When the lift jolted to a stop and the doors slid open Peter was the first to exit the lift, he made his way towards their front door waiting for Lucian to join him so he could unlock the door. He watched the hunter out of the corner of his eye watching the way he tapped his foot against the black tiled floor, the way he rubbed at his nose, eyes shifting from Lucian to the door as if he was ready to just grab the key from him and unlock the door himself. Lucian let out a resigned sigh as he inserted the key and unlocked the door pushing the door open, Peter pushed past him and quickly entered their shared home. Lucian reluctantly followed him inside closing and locking the door behind him.

“God how I have missed you.” Peter loudly announced as he stepped around the back of the bar, he knelt grabbing out a shot glass and a bottle of absinth.

Lucian shot him a look that screamed frustrated disappointment, but Peter was too busy pouring his first shot of the night to notice or care. Lucian lingered by the bar watching him as he downed the first shot wincing and shaking his head as the liquor burned down his throat, watched as he filled a second and then a third.

“You should wash up, don’t you think?” He asked after Peter finished off his fourth shot.

Peter looked down at himself, he chuckled as he poured a fifth shot. “I should, shouldn’t I? I look like I fucking killed somebody…..Well I guess I did.”

“You did well tonight,” he complimented him, and he meant it. Peter had potential to be good at this when he was driven enough, when he could work his fear into a form of determination that drove him into trying harder at hunting.

Ever since they returned from their stay in the woods he’d noticed Peter putting more effort into his side job of hunting vampires, noticed him working out more often, eating actual meals so long as Lucian was the one who cooked them because Peter was an utter disaster at cooking. He’d been getting better a little at a time, occasionally complaining about how badly he wanted a drink but typically abstaining. That was until tonight where he poured shot after shot until he was swaying slightly as he stood behind the bar, that hazy dumb smile on his face. A small immature part of Lucian wanted to just storm off, leave for a while or just lock himself in their bedroom and make Peter sleep on the couch in his blood-stained clothes, but that wouldn’t solve anything. He knew why Peter was drinking so much and couldn’t help but be mad at himself for his own moment of unawareness.

He took Peter by the arm and dragged him away from the bar leading him towards the bedroom and into the bathroom, Peter still held the bottle of absinth in his hand occasionally drinking from it as he sat on the counter watching Lucian get the bath tub ready for them. If he scolded him or yelled at him it would solve nothing other than Peter yelling back or Peter becoming upset and quiet, that wasn’t something that Lucian wanted to happen. He focused instead on being in caretaker mode, he’d been doing this for two years now.

“Can you undress yourself or do you need my help?”

Peter smirked as he got down from the counter, he set the bottle down nearly knocking it over in the process. “Can do it myself, but if you’d like to help, I wouldn’t be against it.” He said winking at him.”

Lucian turned away from him, he began undressing himself wincing as he pulled his ruined shirt up over his head, his shoulder still aching. He’d been doing so good lately at clothes not being ruined. He started on unbuckling his belt and unfastening his jeans when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned his head to see Peter standing behind him, the hunter moved to stand before him, fingers trailing down to touch along the scar.

“It hurt?” He asked, voice soft, distant.

“Somewhat, it’s okay though, promise.”

“Sorry,”

Lucian sighed, he placed a hand on the back of his neck pulling him close, he leaned his forehead against his. “Don’t, it’s okay, don’t be sorry.”

“Love you,”

“I love you too, now get in the bath; you smell like vampire guts.” Lucian said pressing a kiss against his forehead.

Peter smiled as he pulled away from him making his way to the tub. Lucian finished undressing then joined him in the spacious tub that he found quite ridiculous. He felt that Peter only purchased it to have sex in and also because it was stupidly expensive, they of course had had sex in this tub more times than he could properly count. Tonight, though Peter was lightly drunk and still shaken up from what had happened, clingy, but not trying to have sex to forget it. Instead he leaned against him allowing Lucian to scrub the blood and dirt from his skin, turning to face him so that he could return the favor. Peter would get distracted as he washed him occasionally leaning down to press a kiss to the new and old scars on his skin, knowing the ones on his stomach and chest didn’t bother him the way the ones on his back did. He’d whisper apologies and words of love against his skin, eventually forgetting about bathing all together and instead resting his head against Lucian’s shoulder. The lycan wrapped an arm around him pulling his body closer, fingers petting through his damp hair. He knew he easily could have been killed, he wasn’t naïve to that fact, and he loathed to think what Peter would have done if that had happened.

“I don’t want to lose you, or you lose me.” Peter whispered nuzzling against his wet skin.

“That won’t happen,” he replied despite knowing how much of a lie that was.

“Why can’t I be like you?” Peter asked pulling back to look at him.

Lucian could see the hurt in his eyes. They hadn’t exactly talked about this ever since returning home, he was scared to talk about it. He didn’t even like to think about it, he’d truly hoped that Peter would drop the topic all together and realize what a horrid idea it was. He wasn’t sure Peter really wanted to be a lycan, he knew deep down Peter just feared death like most humans did, he worried he would grow bored with immortality or grow to hate him for turning him into a monster. He had countless fears in relation to this, too many to easily bring up, especially when Peter was drunk.

“Peter this, this isn’t something we should talk about when you’re drunk.”

“Why not, won’t talk about it when I’m sober. I don’t want to leave you, I don’t want you to have to see me die sooner or later, we both know the way I am that sooner is more likely than later.” He said laughing bitterly.

Lucian placed a hand against his cheek, Peter leaned into his touch. “I know you’re scared of dying, it’s perfectly normal.”

Peter smiled sadly as he nuzzled against his hand. “Wasn’t always, used to want to die so badly. I don’t want to now, but sometimes I’d like to just disappear and stop existing. Then I think about you and I don’t want to do that anymore, don’t want to leave you.” He turned his head to press a kiss against the palm of his hand then his wrist. “Nearly lost you tonight, I thought when I came in the way you were screaming that he’d gotten you.”

“I’m here, he didn’t get me, and yes he almost did. If you hadn’t came in when you did then it’s likely he could have. I won’t pretend that I didn’t almost die tonight, but you saved my life, alright? I’m alive right now, because you had incredible timing.”

He wished they could be having this conversation completely sober; he didn’t know how much of it would stick when Peter sobered up in the morning.

“I got lucky and I’m sorry, about this, the drinking.”

“I know, you’ve been doing so well, I’m still proud of you.”

“You really do love me don’t you, swear it’s like you love me no matter what I fuck up.”

Lucian kissed him gently, fingers brushing back through his hair. “I love you with everything that I am, never forget that you’re my everything.” He whispered against his lips.

Peter wrapped his arms around his neck hugging him.

It was a few minutes more before Lucian worked up to getting Peter out of the tub, dried off, and into bed. The hunter kept close against him, holding his hand tightly as they lay in bed together. Lucian knew he was still thinking about what had happened, still shaken by the fact that he could have lost him. He knew Peter still wanted to discuss the idea of becoming a lycan, he was becoming more frustrated each day with the lack of a good response. Lucian wanted to tell him yes, a part of him truly did. The thought of having Peter by his side and in his arms for a literal eternity filled him with a happiness he hadn’t dared feel since he’d last held Sonja promising her forever. Then there was the ache of guilt, the fear that it would be too good to be true, that despite being long dead Viktor would rip Peter from him the same way he’d done to her. He worried about himself, worried that he wouldn’t be able to control himself, that instead of a simple bite he’d devour him. Sometimes he didn’t understand the amount of trust that Peter placed in him, he was scared of how easily it could be broken with the wrong word or the wrong action.

Lucian wrapped an arm around his waist pulling him closer, kissed the top of his head. He smiled sadly as he felt Peter’s fingers dancing across his skin, he could feel him tugging at his necklace and knew he was tracing his fingers along the medallion he wore. Lucian rubbed his hand along his back wanting badly for neither of them to worry, he wondered if immortality could solve some of that, it would give them millions of years to work through their issues separately and together. He hated himself for being hopeful.

Chapter Text

Lucian was the first to wake, which wasn’t uncommon after Peter spent a night getting drunk. The hunter was sprawled out on the bed snoring currently, he’d be out for at least another hour. Lucian kissed his forehead before climbing out of bed and getting dressed, he made his way out of their bedroom and headed straight to the bar. He’d been considering doing this for some time now, but Peter seemed slightly more willing to give sobriety a try, so he felt safer in doing this. He began grabbing up bottles taking them to the sink, uncapping them, and pouring them down the drain. He was ten bottles in before he heard the bedroom door shut, a minute later he heard Peter’s feet against the tile floor as he ran towards the bar.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked, a slight panicked edge in his voice.

Lucian glanced at him over his shoulder, he picked up another bottle making a point of it for Peter to watch him pour the ridiculously priced vodka down the drain.

“You’ve said you want to work on getting sober and well…Getting rid of the temptation to get drunk is a good step.” He easily explained as he tossed yet another bottle into the bin next to him.

“C’mon I wasn’t serious about that,” Peter held up a hand in defense when Lucian glared at him, “okay so I mean I was, I am serious about it, but baby steps y’know. Can’t just stop.”

“You’ve been sober two weeks Peter, if we didn’t have a full bar in our home then you wouldn’t have had anything to drink last night.”

Peter groaned in frustration running his fingers back through his hair as he watched yet another bottle being poured down the drain, the stench in the apartment was rather dreadful. While Lucian was fine with drinking occasionally, he wasn’t quite sure how humans could devote so much time and money to it.

“Hey not that one, that cost me a thousand dollars.” He grabbed the bottle of scotch from Lucian’s hand cradling it against his chest as he glared at the lycan.

Lucian rolled his eyes in response; it was too early to argue with him over how moronic it was to spend so much money on booze.

“Fine, you can keep that one, but the rest have to go. Glaring and pouting isn’t going to make me change my mind on this you know.” He said not even bothering to look at his boyfriend.

Peter huffed; he sat the scotch down on the counter before walking off to go sit in the living room. A minute later the TV was on, some movie blaring on the surround sound.

Of course, Lucian knew this wasn’t it, pouring all of this down the drain wasn’t going to keep Peter from ever drinking again. He could easily pop off to the shop near their complex and buy something else, he could go to several bars and pubs to get drunk. He was a man in his thirties, he could do what he pleased, and Lucian would never physically prevent him from doing something. He liked to think this was a statement of sorts at least, a way to get him to understand that he couldn’t just grab a bottle off the shelf and drink until he was a sobbing mess. Once every bottle minus the thousand-dollar scotch was gone Lucian went to the kitchen and began work on making breakfast. Once that was finished Peter had entered the dining room still looking annoyed, but at least willing to show up for food.

They ate in silence, Peter occasionally glaring at him or banging his fork against his plate as a child might do to show their parents they were pissed off.

“Look I know that you can just buy more, and I know you can go out and get drunk, that’s fine. I don’t like it, it scares the Hell out of me when you do those things, but at least this is effort.” He tried to explain to him, voice even and kind.

Peter sighed leaning back in his chair. “Sorry, I know I’m being a twat about this. I know that….I was doing good with not drinking, you’re right, and I’m sorry about last night. Didn’t mean for that, but just seeing you like that.”

He could see the fear lingering in his eyes, the tension in his body as the memories invaded his mind. Lucian reached out placing a hand over his. “I know, but it’s over now. We just need to figure some things out, find a way for you to cope without turning to alcohol.”

He nodded in agreement, “I’ll try, I owe that to you. I owe you more than that, I’m sorry about bringing up the other thing too last night.”

“It’s fine, I just….I know that we would talk more about it, but I….It’s something that is difficult for me.”

“Why is that?”

Lucian wanted to put it off again, he wanted to tell him they could talk about it later, but he’d been doing that for days now. “It’s been some time since I turned a human, let’s just say he didn’t exactly want to become a lycan, and I didn’t do it for kind reasons.”

He’d been shot multiple times, wrong place and wrong time for Michael, it was just one of those situations that occurred sometimes in life. He could have easily killed the human, but he hadn’t. Peter didn’t immediately respond, the silence made Lucian worry.

“I want you to though, to turn me.”

Lucian pulled his hand away from him, he thought of how easily he could lose control. He knew that being bitten by a lycan or a werewolf wasn’t a pleasant feeling, there was no way to ease that pain, it was rough and it was searing to have a mouth full of sharp teeth rip into your flesh and infect you with a virus. Even the thought of making Peter cry out in pain made him sick to his stomach.

“Lucian?”

He looked up to see Peter staring at him, worry in his eyes.

“Sorry, I…Please understand that this, this is a difficult topic.”

He’d so badly wanted to create a hybrid of a vampire and a lycan years ago, as a slave he’d been forced to bite human slaves so they would become like him, he’d bitten humans in times of desperation, devoured them until there was nothing left in times of starvation. He wondered how sick Peter would feel if he knew that, if he could see the things that Lucian had done in his past, the way he’d become before his momentary death.

“No, it’s okay, hey it’s okay.” Peter scooted his chair closer to his, he pressed a kiss against the side of his head. “I’m sorry, I just….I don’t know what the fuck I’m thinking, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this. Don’t gotta do anything that upsets you.”

Lucian took hold of his hand; he stroked his thumb across one of the gaudy rings that adorned Peter’s fingers. Once upon a time he would have been willing to bite him and turn him, would have seen nothing much in it, then again at another time he might not have fallen in love with him. He worried that at the wrong point in his life he would have seen Peter as nothing more than prey. He knew that Peter wanted him, he at least thought he wanted to live forever, to be bonded with him for eternity. God how badly Lucian wanted forever with him, every time he allowed himself to slip and to think about Peter’s fragile mortality, he became frightened, the thought of losing him made him feel empty.

“We both just need time to think about this, I want to focus on getting you sober first, then we can worry about all of this.”

“We can do that; promise I’m going to try to get sober for real this time. I know I say that a lot, but I want to this time.”

He believed him, he loved him, and he felt like he had no choice other than to believe him. He turned his head to kiss him, a gentle brush of the lips that deepened into a proper kiss. He tasted like syrup and black coffee, bitter and sweet, he was beautiful and infuriating and Lucian couldn’t stand the thought of ever losing him to anything.

Chapter Text

Sobriety wasn’t too bad, so long as he didn’t think about it. The first couple of weeks, first month he could get through, just so long as he kept busy. He focused on his shows, adding new storylines, firing more actors and assistants to hire new better ones, he started going to the gym more often, taking long walks and the occasional run. He even began taking on more monster hunting jobs, though after the incident with Lucian getting stabbed left him paranoid and a bit on edge when it came to that, he worried that more wolf slaying incidents would occur, but so far nothing else. He found himself nervous when they did hunt together rarely opting to split up to cover more ground quickly, paranoia filling him at the thought of what could happen if they were apart for too long. He felt ridiculous about it, but Lucian never said anything, never told him he was being ridiculous. He couldn’t really imagine Lucian telling him he was being paranoid about anything, he seemed to always be so understanding about everything that made up Peter and his never-ending list of flaws.

The only issue they truly had was the lycan related topic. Peter could kick his own ass for bringing it up that day in the woods, but he’d had to, no he hadn’t. There was no need to bring it up. Each day that passed where they didn’t sit and properly discuss it the worse, he felt about it in a million different ways all mixed together until he felt gross about himself. This was why at six in the morning he was out talking a walk through the mostly empty strip of Vegas, the air cold, and clear until it became polluted with cigarette smoke and noise. He felt if he could just take a long walk then maybe he would feel better about it, or think about it more, too much, and when he thought about it too much he wanted to drink. He tried to push that thought to the side for now. He needed to be sober when thinking about this. He felt frustrated; he wanted them to talk about this, but he hated doing anything that made his boyfriend uncomfortable or upset. The last thing he wanted was to force him to do anything, even the thought of that turned his stomach. He just needed him to understand that he trusted him, that he knew what he was talking about, and that each day that passed by he wanted this more. The idea of dying and never seeing Lucian again filled him with an odd sort of dread, if he was dating a human then he wouldn’t be thinking about this. Him a few years ago never would consider becoming anything other than human, his greatest fear had been becoming something other than human, but now he was walking down the sidewalk thinking about it, craving it. Craving the idea of eternity with the guy that he loved even if it meant becoming something that wasn’t human at all.

He took a break from his walking long enough to pop into Starbucks and order a coffee, he sat at a table near the corner of the café and began playing on his phone to pass the time. He looked through his message alerts, schedule reminders, and checked Twitter for longer than he’d meant to. He spent a minute on google looking up information on lycans, the information was mixed; mostly false or posted by people who were probably bat shit insane. He knew Lucian would take the piss out of him if he saw him googling about supernatural creatures instead of just talking to him about it but talking to him wasn’t optional when he got so weird about it. Peter sighed as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. He stayed for awhile longer watching people passing by out the window, once he was finished with his drink he got up and left. He started on his way back to the complex knowing Lucian would already be awake, probably wondering where he’d been for the past couple of hours, or maybe he already just assumed he was out walking or at the gym. He’d been forming the habit of going often, just for something to do, to focus on.

Deep down he knew he would fall off the wagon again, he knew Lucian had to realize that too. He felt like an asshole for already mentally preparing himself for it, knew he should get professional help, but nobody could really help him. He couldn’t explain most things to a psychologist, he didn’t even consider rehab, and AA just made him annoyed. He knew Lucian was doing his best in terms of helping him, he was still miffed about him pouring out three grand worth of booze the other day, but it was admittedly something that needed to happen. If it was easily accessible then he’d be in it the second they disagreed or the second something in the world scared or angered him, it was how Peter coped, and how he’d been coping since he was fourteen. He didn’t want to be that messed up kid anymore, he was thirty-six years old, he was too old for that shit, a thought that scared him a bit. He’d never been a fan of the concept of aging; he remembered as a teenager promising himself he wouldn’t live to see twenty-five then once he’d passed that landmark he promised himself he’d die before he was thirty-five and now he was thirty-six. He wondered how many other people in the world lived their lives this way, promising themselves late at night while having an anxiety attack over their own existence that they wouldn’t live to be too old.

Now he feared the thought of dying, of aging, of dying, of all of it. Lucian knew, he understood, and he could see the pain in his eyes when the topic was broached often by Peter. He knew that maybe it was cruel and manipulative to shove his own mortality in the wolf’s face as a reason as to why he should turn him, but it was a big reason. He needed him to understand that he wanted this, he wanted to be with him for as long as the world still existed, and sure he couldn’t swear that in ten or eighty years he’d still love him or want to be with him, but he couldn’t imagine not loving him. He worried deep down that the hesitation came from Lucian’s uncertainty, that maybe he didn’t want to be with him forever, that maybe he counted on Peter’s life coming to a close at some point so he could get on with his own existence. He worried sometimes that he was holding him back from something, keeping him here in Vegas when he could be off regrouping his pack, leaving the country, and doing whatever it was he’d done in his past. Peter knew he had to be lonely without a pack, just being alone away from others like himself except for the occasions where he would pop off to help other lycans. Those moments were far and in between, sometimes Peter waited for him to return from one of those trips to tell him he was leaving him for good, that he made a mistake shacking up with a human for two years when he could have been off with other lycans and keeping them from extinction.

It was a stupid, moronic thought of course. He couldn’t imagine Lucian actually breaking up with him or just up and leaving him like that. A dark part of him wished for it to happen, a part of him that just wanted punished and left because of what a prick he always managed to end up being to the first being to ever try and care for him. The level of patience that Lucian showed him time and time again often led to him acting out like a teenager, he didn’t want to do that anymore, he was going to try and not do that anymore. Even if he was often tended to fuck up, to see how far he could push him until he lashed out at him or told him he hated him like others had done before him. He felt ashamed for thinking that, for wanting to push him away. He remembered a couple of his therapists telling him his tantrums and fits of cheating and binge drinking to upset his girlfriends and boyfriends was a way of punishing himself, of trying to show that he wasn’t worthy of love. He knew they’d been right about that, even now he couldn’t accept fully that he was loved. It still in some way frightened him how deeply Lucian cared for him, he wanted to push at that, he wanted to see how horrible he could be until he toed the breaking point.

Yet here he was desperately chasing after an eternity to be with him. He liked to think changing into something else, something other than human would give him a chance to shed his old skin, in a sense. He didn’t want to be this anymore, he wanted freedom, he wanted Lucian. He felt like such a fucking brat.

As the lift came to a stop on his floor, he pushed all doubts and anxieties to the back of his mind, at least as far back into his mind as he was capable of. It was a bitch trying to do that when he was totally sober, he wondered for a moment if smoking weed would fully count as falling off the wagon, this was after all about his addiction to alcohol which really just stemmed from a complicated and god awful childhood.

Inside his flat he found Lucian lounging on the couch reading one of the books on vampires he owned, one he’d told him time and time again was mostly bull shit, yet he kept returning to read it as if it were a joke book. Then again, the joke seemed to be that Peter wasted five grand on the damned thing. Peter shoved Lucian’s legs off the couch giving himself room to sit next to him, the lycan groaned as he pulled himself into a sitting position tossing the book onto the coffee table.

“Where have you been?” He asked, not in an accusatory way, just a casual bored way. Peter hadn’t had him accuse him of anything for a while, not since he stopped spending nights binge drinking and borderline cheating.

“Just walking, got coffee, walked more, and then came back home because I realized I’d spent all morning walking like some sort of a jackass.”

He used to make fun of people who got up every morning to go for a walk or a morning jog, occasionally wondering about sticking his leg out and tripping them, he was realizing why he had nearly no friends.

“Sounds nice, are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah course I am, been doing great. I’d tell you if I wasn’t, right?” He asked smiling at him.

“No, that’s the problem.” Lucian countered moving to lean against his side.

Peter wrapped an arm around his shoulders holding him close against him. He was trying to be more open about things, though he wasn’t sure how to even begin talking about all the thoughts that bombarded his brain all hours of the day. Most times his thoughts were mundane; food, coffee, buy more movies he’ll never watch, have sex with his gorgeous boyfriend. Then other times his thoughts were like today; they were muddled and hectic, his urges and fantasies making him feel pitiful and like a complete asshole.

“Okay, so what do you wanna know?”

“Is anything bothering you?”

“No, not particularly. Just…Thinking about things, which happens every time that I try to get sober, then I end up freaking out and going on a massive binge. I’m not going to do that though, promise.”

He meant it, he wasn’t going to, at least he was going to try not to. He could behave, he was going to do his best, he’d try and figure out how to deal with his thoughts the way normal people probably did.

Lucian took hold of his hand toying with the skull ring he wore on his middle finger. “Is it anything you want to discuss?”

“Maybe, I don’t know; I want to talk about some of it. I keep thinking about….Keep thinking about us.”

Lucian paused in twisting the ring on his finger glancing up at him, Peter could feel him tensing against him.

“Nothing like bad, well I mean sort of, but I….I still freak out when I think about us being together, this is the longest I’ve been in a mostly healthy relationship with another per-creature.” He quickly explained before his boyfriend could fully worry that this was a breakup conversation.

“Right, well I mean you’ve been doing good.”

Peter sighed, “that’s the problem, I’m not used to things being good like this. I mean okay yeah I fuck up sometimes and the other day I wanted to scream at you for trashing my booze, then of course how much of a prick I was periodically when I was still drinking and doing drugs, but….I just….I don’t know how to word it, it’s just that….I’m scared that on accident or on purpose I’m going to end up saying or doing something so fucking cruel that you won’t ever want to even look at me again.”

Lucian slipped the ring from his finger slipping it onto his own. “That won’t happen.”

“How do you know that?”

“Do you want to do or say something to me to make that happen, like deep down do you really want to?”

Peter thought about it for a moment, he couldn’t even play a scenario in his mind of saying or doing something horrendous enough to ruin things between them completely. He was incapable of even an imaginary situation where something like that happened.

“No, I don’t, can’t even think of it actually.”

“Then it won’t happen, I know that you won’t do anything that will hurt me that badly.”

“Your faith in me is astounding; if I was a fucking racehorse you would be out five hundred grand and I’d be taken out to a field and shot.”

Lucian laughed, he leaned his head against Peter’s chest as he looked at the ring on his finger that Peter now assumed just belonged to him, not that it mattered he was often rifling through Lucian’s belongings taking wrist bands that he liked.

“Have you given any thought to therapy?”

“Nope, kind of, but no I’m not going through that again. I’m scared I’ll slip up and tell them the truth and they’ll want me to be committed.”

“I’d never let that happen.” He assured placing a kiss against his hand.

Peter smiled softly; he leaned his head back against the couch closing his eyes. “You know that one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where like….This big monster thing stings her and after that she begins slipping into this other reality where she’s actually in a mental institute, her mom’s alive, her dad’s there, and the doctors keep telling her that Sunnydale and vampires and her friends aren’t real. They tell her in school she suffered a psychotic breakdown and has been committed ever since.”

“You already know the answer to that.”

He grinned, “of course, well that’s the plot and it ends with her, the her in the asylum just giving up on living so she can just live forever in a world full of monsters where her sexy vampire boyfriend and all her friends are. I think about that sometimes, like I think my life is like that sometimes. Ever since I was a teenager, I worry none of this is real, that I’m really just extremely fucked up in the head and locked away while my family worries about me.”

He felt a warm familiar weight on his lap followed by warm breath against his neck. “You aren’t insane, and you aren’t in an asylum.”

Peter opened his eyes, he looked at the lycan straddling his lap. He pet his fingers through long curling brown hair he’d touched a million times before. “Sometimes it feels that way, sometimes cause how fucked up everything is, and then other times because this feels way too good to be real.” He confessed as he stroked his fingers along his jaw, smiling softly as the way Lucian leaned into his touch bringing his own hand up to touch the back of his.

“I can tell you that we’re really here on this ridiculously expensive couch of yours and that you’re safe with me, not locked away somewhere.”

“Promise?”

Lucian kissed him slowly, hands resting against his chest, fingers curling against his shirt. “Promise”

Chapter Text

Rain pattered against the car windows; a thick tension filled the inside of the vehicle as they drove on in silence. Peter rested his head against the passenger window watching as the city disappeared behind them, they drove through vast nothingness until they reached a smaller town, the further they drove into that the more vacant and off everything started to feel. He glanced over towards Lucian; he gripped the steering wheel tightly, jaw set, and anger in his eyes. He’d been quiet for the past three hours, he radiated a type of rage that Peter hadn’t seen in some time, it was just the slightest bit unnerving. He knew the anger wasn’t aimed towards him, but still it was unsettling.

He had vague knowledge of where they were going or the reasons why, he just knew that somebody had called Lucian, and the next thing he knew they were packing up weapons and getting into the car. He felt it more likely than not had something to do with the few lycans Lucian did have connections to; from a distance he tried to discreetly help them, supply them with food, with supplies, and assistance when needed. Peter knew it frustrated him not having a real pack anymore, not properly being able to look out for lycans that resided in the states, but if he did that then he’d draw too much attention to himself. A small part of him wanted to blame himself for all of this, for him not being able to live his slightly anarchist wolf lifestyle that he’d had before momentarily dying years ago. Then he felt guilty and selfish for thinking in such a way.

The car slowed to a stop in the woods, three cabins resided so far into the wooded area that it would be near impossible for anybody to know they were here. Peter felt a chill run down his spine as he squinted out the windscreen at the buildings, their doors hung wide open nearly falling off the hinges, several windows were broken, and Peter spotted a body sprawled out on the ground between two of the cabins. Before he could say anything, Lucian was out of the car and rushing to the body on the ground. Peter got out grabbing the duffel bag from the backseat, he slowly approached the lycan, keeping his guard up as he glanced around them.

When he was close enough to properly look he noticed the less than human features of the woman on the ground, her long black hair tangled and matted with dirt and leaves, her mouth filled with rows of fangs, and her wide unseeing eyes the same pale blue that Lucian’s turned. Lucian cradled the woman’s body close to himself.

“What’s going on?” Peter asked, his voice was low and hesitant as if he were afraid to speak. He didn’t feel like he should be in this place, he was a human.

“Check that cabin there, I’m going to check the one to the left.” Lucian responded; he gently lay the body back onto the ground before rising to his feet. He didn’t look at Peter, he just turned and rushed into the cabin leaving Peter to stand int the now pouring rain staring down at the woman dead at his feet.

He realized this was the first other lycan he’d seen, he realized there had to be more than just her here. He prayed to something that the others were still alive, he could practically feel the guilt radiating off of Lucian. Peter did as he’d been instructed and entered the building, he turned the light on his phone on shining it around the darkened building. The couch was overturned, stuffing pouring out from the slashes in the fabric, the kitchen was wrecked as well. He entered the small bathroom to find the body of a man who had to be in his early twenties in the tub; he was naked, jaw hanging open, fangs missing from his bloodied mouth, one eye appeared to have been gouged out. Peter swallowed hard as he looked away from the body, he quickly exited the room and moved onto the bedroom where he found two more bodies, one still in a human form, and the other in the form of a large wolf. He held the beam of light on the wolf shaped body, its fur was a light gray, blood coated its fur matting it down, he couldn’t see any signs of life in the lycan.

“Fuck,” he whispered to himself as he exited the bedroom, he made his way back outside. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket and pulled his denim jacket tighter around himself as he glanced around at the trees that surrounded the cabins. A sudden crash from inside the cabin Lucian had entered startled him, the sound followed by a loud growl.

“Lucian!”

He broke into a run rushing into the cabin, he tripped over an overturned chair on his way towards the room in the back to the right where the sounds were coming from. He stopped in the doorway, heart dropping at the sight before him; Lucian was knelt beside a small bed, a child’s body laid atop the blood-soaked blankets. Peter slowly entered the room, legs feeling weighted like he’d collapse at any moment as he moved to stand next to the other man. Lucian was petting his fingers through the child’s dark hair, fingers shaking.

“I thought, I thought I’d get here soon enough.”

Peter lowered himself to his knees to kneel by his side, he placed a comforting hand against his back. “I’m so sorry,” he didn’t know what else to say.

He knew if Lucian was more involved with these packs and these stray lycans then they would have stood more of a chance against vampires and hunters when they were attacked.

“Jonathan, he’d called me a few times to tell me there had been hunters in the area, watching them. I-I didn’t think….I just assumed it would be fine.”

There was a long silence as Lucian continued to look at the child, Peter kept his face buried against Lucian’s shoulder to keep from looking at the body. He wanted to say that he was sickened that humans would do something like this, but people didn’t surprise him much, and he was by all technicality a hunter of monsters himself. He made money and spent his time hunting vampires, killing them believing it was the right thing to do, because maybe it was. He couldn’t imagine doing anything like this though, this just seemed unnecessarily cruel and heartless.

“Lucian, I think we should go.”

He gave a short nod but made no move to get up. Peter sighed pressing a kiss to the side of his head, he felt useless not being able to do anything for him. He wanted to have the right words to say to him, he wanted to apologize for the cruelty of human beings, he wanted to be able to tell him to go live his life by protecting others of his kind. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, what was right, or if this would have ended up differently if Lucian had been here. What if Lucian would have just ended up dead like these lycans?

Peter was pulled from his thoughts when Lucian got to his feet, he held out a hand to him helping him to his feet. He kept hold of Peter’s hand as they exited the cabin together, silence as they returned to their car and got back inside.

“I shouldn’t have brought you here, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no it’s….Don’t apologize for that, you didn’t even know if the hunters might still be here.”

“I just didn’t want to come here alone.”

Peter placed a hand on his shoulder gently squeezing, Lucian looked over at him smiling sadly.

“Were they the only ones you know in this area?”

“No, but I’ve had the most contact with them. They’d had a pack, but the pack was mostly destroyed by vampires. I helped them find a place they could stay, I thought they might be safe here, but I was wrong.” He sighed frustrated leaning his head back. “I keep losing people, my people. I’ve spent nearly a thousand years doing everything I thought was right to keep them safe, to get them a better life, to give them a life where we don’t have to hide in fear. I’ve seen so many die, I know it’s my fault.”

“It isn’t your fault, you told me it’s been a long war, and I know you’ve done everything you can. You can’t blame yourself for every death.”

It was hypocritical coming from him, he still struggled to believe his parents and Ginger’s deaths weren’t because of his own selfish weakness and cowardice. Still he didn’t want Lucian letting thousands of deaths get to him, thinking that none of them would have happened if it weren’t for him.

“I still could have done more, for all of them.” He said as he started the car, the headlights turning on and flooding over the body that lay before them.

Peter leaned his head against the car window closing his eyes, he listened to the rain as it pelted the glass. He knew that this was going to be hard for Lucian to handle, he took every death personally, harboring the guilt as if he had to. Peter wished he could tell him not to do that, to realize he did everything he could, but his words always felt grossly weak. He never felt like he was doing anything to ease his mind, he knew that Lucian still blamed himself for Sonja and their child’s deaths. He knew that this, especially this was going to hurt for a long time. He worried that it might make him distance himself at least for a while, he always worried and waited for Lucian to just up and leave. He knew it was selfish to think of himself in these times, this wasn’t about him, this was about the pain that Lucian was experiencing, the guilt of so many deaths that he had to live with for hundreds of years and would have to live with for hundreds more. He couldn’t imagine how agonizing and suffocating that was, he knew this was all so much, so much history he could never comprehend or properly empathize with.

At some point on their ride home Peter had fallen asleep, only waking when he felt Lucian gently shaking his shoulder, his voice quiet as he called his name. He groaned stretching, wincing at the pain in his neck from leaning his head against the window for so many hours, he turned in his seat to look at him through bleary eyes, offered a small smile.

“We’re home,”

Peter nodded, he got out of the car stretching again, satisfied at the popping of stiff joints after sitting so long. Lucian grabbed the bag from the back and joined him taking hold of his hand as they entered the building and made their way to the lift. The silence between them continued as they rode up to their floor, Lucian still tightly gripping his hand as if he was terrified at the thought of letting go. Peter glanced over at him to see that solemn too deep in thought look on his face; it was incredible how somebody could look so insanely young and aged all at once. He gave Lucian’s hand a gentle squeeze wanting to offer some assurance, he wasn’t even sure what sort, other than to say he was here with him.

When they entered their flat Peter almost expected to find monsters lurking in the dark corners, he turned the lights on to see no monsters, only his collection of overpriced weapons and artwork he insisted was good even if it really wasn’t. He tossed the duffle bag onto the couch, kicked off his shoes and tossed his jacket over the back of the thing before heading back to the bedroom where he changed into clothes that were more comfortable and less soaked. He flopped onto the bed crawling under the covers, a few minutes later Lucian joined him, wrapping his arms around the hunter and pulling his body close against his own. Peter sighed curling against him, face buried against his chest. He felt lips against the top of his head.

“I love you,” Lucian whispered.

“I love you too, I always will.” He rested a hand against his hip, fingers brushing up under his shirt to stroke against his skin.

He tried to push the images of the bodies out of his mind but found that he couldn’t. The idea of wanting to forget them made him feel shitty, he felt like he should remember them, he wished he’d known them.

“Things like tonight, that’s….That’s part of the reason I worry about turning you.”

Peter pulled back to look at him, “why? I know that lycans can be killed, not like a person can, but I know it can happen.”

Lucian stroked his fingers against his cheek, “not that, not entirely. I mean that, I couldn’t protect them or my pack, and I’m scared that if I turn you that I won’t be able to protect you either.”

“Look human or lycan I’m probably always going to be at some amount of risk to get killed, that isn’t your fault, or your responsibility by the way. I’m not saying that, but I am saying that it’s always a possibility. You don’t need to be some kind of savior or something, you’re you, and I get that you wanna protect me and you wanted to protect them, but you can’t always do that.”

He waited for an argument, but received none, Lucian just sighed and hid his face against his shoulder. Peter pet his fingers through his hair wondering if what he’d said had been the right thing or the wrong thing to say, it at least hadn’t been the offensive thing to say.

“Try not to punish yourself for what happened, okay?”

Lucian grunted in response; fingers tangled in Peter’s shirt. He was willing to take that as an agreement that he wouldn’t beat himself up over what happened. Tonight, did serve as confirmation that if anything happened to him that Lucian would blame himself for eternity, it was a thought that saddened him.

He continued to pet his hair, he could feel the warmth of his breath against his skin, his body relaxing as he fell into sleep. Peter continued to just lay there staring into the darkness, making sure that his sleep was as peaceful as it could get before allowing himself to fall asleep as well.

Chapter Text

They didn’t necessarily speak about what happened the other night. He knew that it was still bothering Lucian; he could tell in the way he hadn’t spoken for the most of the first day after what happened in the woods and he could tell in the way he occasionally sat and just stared out at nothing as if he was thinking about it among other things again. It was concerning to see him that way, to the point that Peter felt awkward leaving him alone in the flat for long periods of time, but Lucian assured him time and time again over the days that he was fine. He obviously wasn’t, but he obviously didn’t feel like burdening Peter with what was bothering him. It was frustrating not talking about things; he knew how often Lucian wanted him to share what he was feeling and thinking with him, but then there were so many times that Lucian was shut off to him. Times where he was reluctant to discuss his past, talk about the situation of Peter becoming a lycan which was less important at the moment, and now there was the issue of Lucian becoming distant and solemn after the massacre they witnessed. Peter had his own worries about what they’d seen; he’d spent the days following checking news sites to see if any hikers or if the authorities had found the bodies, but it seemed they hadn’t. He knew that likely the hunters had returned to the area either after the two of them had left or the following morning to dispose of the bodies or whatever else it was they might want to do with dead lycans.

A part of him was paranoid that they had been seen, that somewhere in the state there were hunters and others that knew that Lucian wasn’t a human. It wasn’t until he’d gotten on with Lucian that he realized that obviously most monster hunters didn’t discriminate against what they slay; they killed anything so long as it wasn’t a human. Peter of course had to be utter shit at his career of choice and only slayed vampires, saw no reason to kill a werewolf or a lycan; if one was murdering hapless humans then that might be different, but Lucian assured him that that family hadn’t harmed anybody. They were just hiding away looking for a new start, they’d never had a pack and had only known of each other. They’d just been a small family looking for a life of their own. In a sense it reminded him of his own family, he wondered for a moment if that’s how violent his parent’s deaths had been. Thinking of the child’s corpse he knew if he’d tried to play the hero then that would have been how he ended up.

He pulled his jacket tighter around himself as he walked down the sidewalk, he pulled his phone out of his pocket momentarily considering sending Lucian a text or calling him. He’d been in bed when he’d left this morning, not sleeping exactly, just sort of curled up on his side pretending that he was sleeping. Peter knew he should have stayed with him, but he worried that staying and hovering might just make matters worse. He was at a loss for what to do, it frustrated him deeply not knowing how to handle it. He wanted to lie and say he knew exactly what he was feeling, but he didn’t; he wasn’t a lycan, he didn’t know what it was like to be part of a species that was constantly hunted by vampires and humans. He tried desperately to think of what to say to him as he walked through the empty Vegas strip, but nothing really came to mind. A thought in the back of his head told him that if he got a bit drunk then he’d be able to think of what to say or at least ramble on like a moron until the right words came out, but realistically he knew if he got drunk then Lucian would just get angry at him. No, he wouldn’t do that, it wasn’t right, not now anyways. Even if it did sound incredibly tempting considering the stress of the situation. He’d wanted so badly to chug that bottle of scotch when they’d returned to their flat, when Lucian had finally fallen asleep and stayed that way for at least an hour. He’d wanted to drink until he absolutely forgot about the images of those bodies that haunted his mind. No matter how much he saw of it Peter could never grow adjusted or numb to seeing death.

He used to wonder how Lucian dealt with it, he just had assumed after so many wars and battles that he was numb to it. He was beginning to realize that wasn’t the truth of the matter at all, in fact he seemed alarmingly shaken up by what they’d found. Peter knew at least that he blamed himself for their deaths; that if he’d been there, if he’d gotten there quicker, if he’d gone when Jonathan first called him about seeing somebody or something lurking around their campsite that this wouldn’t have happened. Peter knew maybe that was true, but there was also the high chance that the hunters would have killed Lucian too and then Peter never would have known; he wouldn’t have been able to find him on his own, never knew about that little hide away for lycans until the other night. It filled him with an odd sense of dread thinking about that, he knew more now that it was always possible for that to happen the times that Lucian went on his own. He felt like these days he was always on the cusp of losing him for good and that scared the Hell out of him, he didn’t want to lose him, he wasn’t supposed to worry about that. He knew perhaps it was a tad bit selfish to think that way, but he didn’t want to lose him. He didn’t do well on his own.

Once he’d worked himself into enough of a paranoid anxious state he headed back to their shared flat, knowing he’d at least feel slightly less like losing his shit if he could see that Lucian was home and safe. Of course, there was still that irritating thought in his brain that showed him a million scenarios where Lucian was either dead by the hand of the hunters who killed that family or found him just gone. These thoughts and concerns plagued him as he rode the lift to their floor and as he entered their flat, his heart pounding in his chest as he opened and closed the door behind him. He removed his jacket hanging it up and fast walked his way towards the living room where he thankfully found Lucian sitting on the couch.

“Oh thank God,” He said sighing in relief as he rounded the couch to sit next to him, he wrapped an arm around him pulling him close to himself. “You’re still here.”

“Where else would I be?”

Peter hid his face against his shoulder, “started to get worried you might be dead or that you just up and left. I know, stupid.”

Now that he knew he was alive and still home he felt ridiculous. He relaxed as he felt Lucian pet his fingers through his hair, nails scratching at his scalp.

“I wouldn’t go anywhere without telling you first, that would just be cruel.”

He pulled back to look at him, he knew he was right. “Yeah, I know, you’re not that type. Are you doing okay?”

He didn’t necessarily look okay, but more times than not he looked exhausted and just lightly depressed. Except now he looked more exhausted and more depressed than he typically did, with a look that said that he’d also been crying before Peter returned home.

“Not really, I’ve been thinking about things.”

“That family?”

“Yes,”

“I’ve been thinking about them too, can’t seem to stop.” He admitted.

“It was stupid of me to take you there; I could have been putting you at risk.”

“Yeah and if they’d still been there and just you had gone then I’d never know if something happened to you. I’m glad I went with you, told you that a few times now.”

“I’ve never been good at this, I used to try so hard to be a leader, a natural born alpha, but I…..I’ve lost so many and so many of them trusted me and have been good friends.”

“You can’t blame yourself for all of that, I doubt they’d blame you.”

Lucian moved to curl up at his side, head resting against his chest. “My wife and child died in front of me because I was stupid. Young and naïve and they died because of that, so many died because of my actions and my stupidity. Viktor lived for hundreds of years because I couldn’t even kill him correctly.”

Peter pressed a kiss against the top of his head, “That’s it though you were young then, we fuck up when we’re young. It isn’t right to blame yourself all this time later for all of that.”

“It scares me that I’m going to end up losing you too. I keep becoming so happy with this, with you, and I forget how easy it would be to lose you.”

“That’s not going to happen, I trust you.”

“That’s the problem, they all trusted me too. It’s worse because you’re mortal, your life is so terribly fragile and that scares me to death. I know also that you want to be like me, but I can’t even protect my own kind. I’m scared that even being a lycan you’ll be at risk, higher risks because of hunters in the area. Christ you’re at risk being a hunter dating me especially now that more are starting to realize there’s lycans here.”

“Hey, no don’t do that to yourself. Don’t get yourself all worked up over how badly shit could go, okay? I’m here, we’re currently in my home where we are surrounded by weapons, and even if by some chance I ever get killed I’m still not going to blame you for it and don’t you dare spend eternity blaming yourself for it if I ever do get killed.”

Lucian was quiet for a while; he took hold of Peter’s hand lacing their fingers together. “I never exactly pictured you comforting me.”

Peter smiled, “am I any good at it?”

“Good enough,”

“Dick, could be nicer than that for my first time.” He chided kissing the top of his head.

Lucian nuzzled against his neck, kissing against his skin. “Sorry, you’re absolutely incredible. Better?”

“Take out the sarcasm, then yes.”

“Do you mind if I transform for a bit, I don’t exactly feel like being human right now.”

“Sure, go for it, just try not to break anything, alright?”

“Of course,” he kissed him gently before getting up from the couch stalking off to one of the few areas in the apartment that wasn’t crowded with what Lucian considered overpriced junk.

Peter glanced over for a moment to watch him transform, it got easier to watch the more times he witnessed it happen. Though he hadn’t seen him turn all that much since they returned home, he knew currently that Lucian was put off by the woods and the forestry, he was glad for that. Once he was fully transformed, he carefully returned to the couch curling up at Peter’s feet. He reached down petting his hand through the thick black fur on his head down his neck, Lucian leaned into his touch moving so he was more firmly pressed against his legs.

“Stay like this as long as you need, I got plenty of steaks in the fridge you can feed on until you feel up to being more man shaped again.” He softly assured him as he continued petting his fur.

Lucian didn’t respond, just stretched out on the floor, black eyes closing as he rested his head on his large paws. Peter still might not be completely adjusted to having a large wolf in his apartment but given a moment or two to adjust to that and he was fine. He grabbed the remote off the coffee table, flicking the TV on and leaned back against the couch as he began flipping through channels. It should bother him by just how natural and nice this felt right now.

Chapter Text

Peter had spent the past couple of weeks keeping tabs on the news and various forums looking for strange unsolved murders that might lead to the two of them getting a new job. He knew they needed out of the flat, a distraction away from what had happened to that family, and lately Peter was having a bitch of a time keeping himself from getting shit faced. He kept that urge to himself though, he didn’t want to give Lucian another thing to think about or worry over. When finally, on the third week he found five people on a forum about supernatural happenings in Nevada discussing missing children who would later be found with their throats ripped out and all blood drained from their bodies he felt a morbid relief. The events were horrifying and sickened him, but with so many people talking about it, two of them saying that they swore they’d seen two men clad in black roaming their neighborhood late at night Pete knew they had something. He managed to hit up three of the five in the forum post seeking out more details if there were any to be found. One of the women in the forum swore one of the two men was well over six foot, his frame so thin he could be mistaken from a scarecrow from far away, he’d apparently become a type of legend in the neighborhood. The area was nearby, just an hour and a half drive from Vegas, the street that seemed to be the hot spot for the vampires was filled mostly with families. It was the sort of place where kids stayed out late with little to no adult supervision, only the teenagers seemed wary of the world and the dangers that often lurked in the shadows. Peter assured those he could get into contact with that him and his hunting partner would track down the monsters and get this cleared up for them.

“Found some vampires to kill!” He proclaimed as he made his way into the bedroom where Lucian was sitting on the bed, hair pulled into a loose ponytail, Peter’s laptop on his lap. He glanced up at the human, eyebrow raised.

“I don’t believe anybody has sounded that happy about killing a vampire before.”

“C’mon we haven’t had a fucking hunt in like forever, besides this is a really good chance for us to get out of this shit hole.”

“This very expensive shit hole.” Lucian countered.

Peter flopped down on the bed moving to settle next to him, he leaned over to see what Lucian was doing. “What site you on?”

“I was just discussing something with an old friend of mine, it’s nothing.” He said clicking out of the tab and closing the laptop before Peter could get a good peak at what they’d been chatting about. “Now is this a real job or a wild goose chase?”

“First of all, how fucking dare you think I’d get us a fake job, that only happened three times and you know it. Secondly yeah, it’s a real job, I was on that forum y’know the one where people talk about supernatural shit they see in their areas.” He held up his hand the second Lucian began to tell him for the millionth time that that forum was not a good source of reliable information. “Before you interrupt like a total bastard, I chatted with three different people who saw the same thing, and I even checked news articles for the area they were talking about. There’s been…. Missing children usually found dead, drained of all blood. A few of the people I messaged described one of the men who has been lurking in their neighborhood.”

Lucian sighed setting the laptop to the side. “When do you want to go?”

Peter smiled, “sooner the better as I usually say. I think if we head out now then we should make it by sundown.”

Lucian got up from the bed, Peter watched him as he went to the closet pulling out a clean t-shirt, black like almost all the ones he wore.

“Apparently the guy hangs around the local parks and around the schools like some To Catch a Predator fucker. Witnesses I talked to said that the guy they see the most around the area is over six-foot-tall, skinny as a rail; they said he has a sort of scarecrow look to him. Not sure about his friend though, they didn’t say much about him so I’m going to give a guess here that he looks average.” Peter rambled on as Lucian got dressed, occasionally nodding or humming in acknowledgment so Peter knew he was probably listening.

“Might not be a vampire, the one they didn’t describe.”

“What the Hell would he be then?”

“Well some vampires have human servants, depending on the bloodline.” He said as he pulled the duffle bag from under the bed. “Sometimes they keep them for a slow meal, sometimes it’s just some vampire groupie, might use this person to lure in potential victims or just for housing.”

The idea made Peter’s stomach turned as he climbed off the bed following Lucian out of the room. He couldn’t imagine doing such a thing especially helping some monstrous bastard kill kids. He knew that there were plenty of people especially online who raved about vampires, acted like the risk of being drained of their blood was well worth the risk if it meant a good shag. He didn’t see the appeal, though he supposed he shouldn’t judge too harshly considering he was dating a lycan.

“So, if you’re right then what the fuck do we do with the human?” Peter asked once they were inside the lift.

Lucian shrugged, “suppose we could leave him for the police. He could of course tell the cops about the two of us, but humans who serve vampires aren’t typically that mentally stable the longer they’re under a vampire’s control. He’ll end up accused for the murders, probably happily take the fall for his master.”

It was a relief to hear, the idea of killing a person didn’t exactly appeal to him.

“I’m hoping his friend that nobody has noticed is just a very boring vampire, make things a Hell of a lot easier.” Peter said as they exited the lift and made their way out of the building and onto the sidewalk.

People were crowding the street, people already getting ready for a night out on the town or to go gamble away their life savings. Sometimes it boggled his mind how he was travelling with a nonhuman, going off to a small suburban area to murder a vampire or two and not a single person pushing past them as they climbed into their car knew that. These people just lived their lives, nearly all of them blissfully unaware that the monsters in the movies that they flocked to watch in theaters were quite real. It was a thought that plagued Peter’s sober mind quite a bit, sometimes he wished he could be that way again. When he’d been a kid he hadn’t much believed in monsters, he loved watching the old black and white monster movies on the telly, but he never really believed the damned things existed. He didn’t until one entered his home and slaughtered his family. As he drove away from Vegas and towards quieter places, he thought about becoming immortal, if he became immortal then he could spend eternity hunting and saving lives. Even if people did die, he could track down their killers and prevent them from taking any more innocent lives. He thought of mentioning this brilliant arguing point to Lucian but thought better of it. They hadn’t been talking about the whole lycan thing lately, the topic completely dropped the past couple of weeks. It hurt to think that maybe it was totally off the table, that Lucian wouldn’t want to turn him, wouldn’t want to run the risks that came with immortality. Risks Peter hadn’t exactly thought all that much about until they found that family dead in the woods.

By the time that they reached the neighborhood the sun had set, everything shrouded in darkness that on the surface was safe and comforting in a place where all the buildings were nice and clean. Peter glanced at the homes as they passed them by, driving slowly down the street until they reached the park not too far away from the rows of houses. The park looked normal, safe, and not remotely menacing as he expected it to be. He put the car into park only now realizing just how boring the whole stakeout part of things was.

“Forgot how much this part sucks.” He muttered mostly to himself.

“Patience,”

He rolled his eyes in response, he popped open the middle console pulling out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. He stuck a cigarette between his lips, eyes locked ahead of him as he lit the cigarette taking a deep breath pulling the smoke into his lungs.

“What if nobody shows though, just wait until sunup then come back again?” He complained.

He could feel Lucian watching him, “are you alright?”

“Yeah, kind of, I’ve just been feeling anxious lately y’know. Been one of those things, know how it is, I can handle not having a drink then next thing I know I feel like I’m going to kill somebody if I don’t get a drink.”

Lucian placed his hand on his leg giving a firm squeeze, Peter smiled softly.

“You’re doing good, I’m very proud of you, I know how difficult this has been.”

“Thanks, love you.” He said, voice soft and gentle as he placed his free hand on top of his, fingers brushing against the skull ring that he’d just let the lycan keep.

They sat in relative silence as they surveyed the area, Lucian having sight far more equipped for the darkness than Peter. The hunter found himself fixated on the tree line knowing that’s probably where the bastards hid in wait, dragged their victims to and then left them off wherever they pleased once they were done. It was a good three hours before Lucian tensed beside him, leaning forward as he peered out the windscreen.

“I see him,” he whispered as he climbed out of the car.

Peter got out after him, he opened the back door grabbing their weapons bag pulling out a stake and a silver blade, he handed the blade off to Lucian and kept the stake for himself. He already knew that Lucian would abandon the blade so he could transform, no that he minded, considering all the places to run and hide it would be better if Lucian could chase the bastard on four legs instead of two.

As they crossed the park and drew closer to what Lucian had spotted Peter could just make it out as well. The people he’d talked to were correct about the thing it was tall and bizarre from a distance at least. The figure was painfully thin, it stood about six-foot-eight from what he could tell, the black jacket it wore hung down past its knees keeping it wrapped in a mystery of black leather and black slacks. It froze as it heard them approaching, Peter glanced over at Lucian nodding for him to split off in the opposite direction in case the thing ran which it probably would. Peter continued to stalk towards it, his heart slamming in his chest as the thing turned, it’s long matted black hair whipping around its sallow grayish face as it turned its sights on him. Peter tightened his grip around the stake in his hand, he found himself fixated on the glossy large black eyes that stared back at him, a wide mouth filled with fangs grinned at him as the thing stalked towards him. Peter took a hesitant step back. He wondered briefly why nearly every vampire he ran across was so fucking hideous.

The crunching of twigs beneath heavy feet caught the vampire’s attention, it turned quickly in the opposite direction giving Peter full opportunity to charge at it. He grabbed it by the shoulder roughly turning it to face him, he thrust the stake towards its chest only to be stopped by a surprisingly strong hand grasping his wrist. The vampire leaned forward, face barely an inch from his own, Peter released his grip on the stake as he struggled to pull from the monster’s grasp. He reached behind him grasping the handle of the knife he kept tucked away in the waistband of his jeans, he slammed the blade into the vampire’s mouth the blade piercing through the back of its throat. Its eyes bulged as it released its grip on Peter’s wrist, its hands flying to the blade protruding from its gaping mouth as it struggled to remove it. Peter ducked down picking up the stake, he went to slam it into the vampire’s chest killing it but was stopped once more. He froze, stake barely an inch from the creature’s chest, he hissed as a sharp pain shot through his body starting at his shoulder. Instinctively he dropped the stake to the ground, he looked down at his shoulder, eyes widening as he saw the blood bubbling and pouring out of the small hole pierced through his shirt. His ears rang, hand shaking as he touched his fingers to the wound, hissing at the pain he felt as he touched it. He didn’t register it when Lucian bound out of the woods, growling as he lunged at the man who stood behind him.

Peter turned when his brain registered the shot of a gun followed by a howl of pain, he felt his stomach drop as he watched Lucian stumble nearly falling, a deep growl resonating in his throat as he stared down the man who had shot him. The man in question was no doubt human, a man somewhere in his late fifties, unshaved, and angry looking. He was aiming the gun again this time training it between Lucian’s eyes.

“No!” Peter lunged forward ignoring the searing pain in his shoulder that shot down his left arm as he dove at the man. He tackled him to the ground, the gun shooting off into the air. Peter grabbed for it, getting knocked off balance when the old man headbutted him, pain shooting through his nose as he fell backwards. When his vision cleared again, he was staring down the barrel of a gun.

“What the fucking hell is wrong with you?” Peter asked, his voice rough and angry.

“I’ve been watching you; fucking saw you go into the woods with that thing there. I’d heard about you, thought you were a monster hunter, turns out that’s just a cover for you. Do you know what mangy fucking freaks like that do to humans, they fucking kill us.” The man shouted at him pressing the cool barrel of the gun against Peter’s forehead.

A sense of dread filled him when he realized he could hear Lucian’s growls or breathing behind him, he worried he might be dead or in the process of dying. Peter grabbed the man’s wrist pressing the gun more firmly against his temple.

“Fuck you, don’t even want to be a hunter if it means being a deranged old fuck like you who goes into the woods killing families. Those lycans didn’t do anything to you, to anybody, they just wanted to raise their kid.”

The man scoffed, “is that what it told you, those bastards had killed people in the town nearby. You actually willing to die to protect that fucking animal?”

Peter tightened his grip on the man’s wrist, “yes.” He replied as he glanced up towards the trees. He smirked when he saw a familiar wolf lurking out of the trees, fangs bared as its black eyes focused on the hunter. Peter shoved the man’s arm away quickly jumping back, he scrambled backwards watching as Lucian lunged on top of the man, mouth clamping down on the arm that held the gun.

The man screamed in pain, thrashing and kicking as his body twisted trying to get away from the wolf. Peter swallowed hard as he watched the man’s arm break, bones splintering through flesh, the sound of snapping bones like twigs and ripping flesh filling the night air as the gun fell to the ground. He felt he should look away as the ravenous wolf ripped into the man’s body devouring him as if he were just some animal and maybe he was.

As soon as it all started it came to an end. Lucian shifted back into a more human form, blood soaked his skin, long hair bloodied and matted to the sides of his face and to his shoulders. Peter noticed the still healing bullet wound on his right side where his ribs were. He attempted to move to crawl to him, stopping and hissing at the throbbing pain in his own arm. Lucian was at his side in a second, he leaned in close looking at the bullet wound.

“Is this the only one?” He asked, a frightened edge to his voice as he held his arm.

“Yeah just that, you okay?” Peter asked.

“Healing, unlike you, we need to get you to the hospital.” He said as he carefully helped Peter to his feet wrapping an arm around his waist.

Peter looked down at the mangled remains of the hunter on the ground, he knew a dead vampire lay just a couple of feet away from them. “What about them?”

“I know a guy around here; I’ll text him and tell him to clean this up.”

“What about the other one, who was with the vampire?” Peter asked as he was led away from the carnage and back to the waiting car.

“I took care of him before that hunter showed up.”

“Think he’s been stalking us for long?” Peter asked as Lucian helped him into the passenger seat of the car. Peter winced as he pulled his shirt up over his head balling it up and pressing it to the wound to at least slow the bleeding.

“Possibly, I don’t know how much he knows.” He sounded worried; Peter never liked when he sounded worried.

He preferred it when Lucian knew all the answers, what to do, how to solve the problems. Now he worried that there were other hunters who knew that Lucian wasn’t human, that knew that Peter, very well-known Peter Vincent was associated with a monster. He thought about the things the hunter had said about the lycans in the woods, about lycans, about monsters. He knew it would be insensitive to even bring it up to Lucian, he doubted he could take a single word the old bastard had spoken as the gospel truth. Still he’d been watching, followed them out to this location, now he was dead, and it was likely if others knew what he knew that they’d trail this back to them.

“Peter?”

“Yeah, sorry, just….Freaking out a bit.” He said looking over at Lucian.

“It’s going to be okay; I’ll make sure of that. Right now, though we need to discuss what you’re going to tell the doctors.”

“Of course, got that handled.” Peter said leaning his head back against the head rest. “Not the first time this kind of thing has happened per say, I’ll just tell them that I was messing around with a gun of mine, accidentally fired it off and shot myself.”

“Have…. Have you done that before?”

Peter glanced out the window watching suburbs as they faded into city. “Maybe…. couple times. Look I was seriously fucking drunk when it happened, before I started dating you, I ended up in the ER like a lot of times for some seriously stupid and depressing shit.” He defended.

It was the easiest part of being a hunter for him, lying to doctors about how he’d gotten broken bones, gun shot wounds, and the occasional stab wound. He knew that they wouldn’t ask many questions, he was Peter Vincent, fake monster hunter and massive fucking moron. He did though still worry about the hunter, he worried about Lucian who was still very much naked and drenched in blood. Peter groaned thinking about how much of a pain it was going to be to clean all this blood out of the seats, the smell of it as well.

When they pulled up outside of the hospital Lucian let him out of the car promising to return to see him once he’d gotten himself and the car cleaned up. Peter already knew the deal; get stitched up, get damn good pain killers, get lectured by some Harvard asshole, and then give Lucian a call to tell him to come and see him. It wasn’t his first time and he was sure if he carried on being a human that it wasn’t going to be his last time either.

Chapter Text

Peter had a pleasant mild high by the time they got back home from the hospital, the pain in his shoulder was reduced to a dull throbbing he could easily ignore. Lucian was mostly quiet on the ride home, quiet once they got through the door and as he led him back to the bathroom getting a bath ready for him. It hadn’t taken much begging on Peter’s part to get Lucian to join him in the tub, his winning argument being that he could still see specks of blood matted in his hair from where he’d rushed getting cleaned up earlier. Peter happily settled against him in the tub careful to keep his bandage from getting absolutely soaked.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Feeling great, pills help a lot too y’know. You okay, all healed up?”

Lucian nodded; he pressed a kiss to Peter’s shoulder. “I think that there are some things we should talk about, maybe not tonight, but in the morning.”

He tried to think if there was ever a time a good thing came up the words ‘we need to talk’, at least in his experience it never ended well. He took hold of Lucian’s hand gently squeezing, the idea of voicing concerns that he was going to end things with him made him feel idiotic.

“It’s nothing bad, promise.”

“Good, not sure I could handle getting shot then being dumped.” He joked, though he was mostly serious.

Lucian nuzzled against the side of his neck, kissed along his skin. “I would never do that, I promised that I’m forever yours.” He whispered against his skin.

Peter believed him; he knew he wasn’t the type of creature to just leave. He also knew he was a man who suffered repeated intense losses throughout his long lifespan and that this night had to have scared the absolute Hell out of him. He supposed they were even now on that front, scaring each other when they were out on a hunting job. He supposed at least the problem was taken care of, the vampires slain as well as one very much human man. Peter still thought about the image of Lucian tearing into the man, bothered by how much it didn’t bother him the more he thought about it. The old bastard had it coming, stalking them, killing that family, wanting to kill Lucian on top of that. Peter couldn’t shake that from his mind even after they got out of the bath, dressed, and into bed. He kept pressed close against his boyfriend thinking about how he’d been in danger of losing him for possibly days now. He worried about the fact others knew, maybe just another crazy old man, maybe a whole network of hunters, and some vampires thrown in there as well. Peter buried his face against his chest, fingers curling in the fabric of the tank top he wore. Lucian placed a hand against his back keeping him close. They both knew, there was no need to discuss it right now, Lucian knew he was scared now that he was really thinking about what happened and what it meant, how much worse it could have been. Thinking about it made him want to drink so that he didn’t have to think about it, talking about it in this moment would just break him. It was something they would discuss in the morning, he knew they had to, they couldn’t pretend what happened in the woods to that family was a one off, that they were fine.

He fell into a fitful sleep that left him feeling twice as exhausted when he did finally wake around noon. He was nearly annoyed that Lucian had just let him sleep in instead of waking him up, but he supposed after the night they had had he earned a little over sleeping. Peter rolled onto his back staring up at the ceiling, he could faintly hear the TV in the living room, he could smell coffee and food being prepared, his stomach turned and he wasn’t sure if it was from hunger or nausea. He groaned as he pulled himself out of bed, the pain in his shoulder returned full force as he stumbled to the bathroom. He popped two pain killers, undressed, cleaned, and then re-dressed his wound. He decided that getting dressed wasn’t important unless they ended up having to leave for one reason or another, so he remained in his boxers and t-shirt as he made his way into the dining room where Lucian was setting plates and mugs of coffee down on the table. Peter noted the anxious look on his face, the way he smiled at him like he was nervous, it did nothing to calm his own nerves seeing him anxious.

He sort of hated himself for relying so heavily on Lucian to be the strong one, he worried sometimes it forced him into a position where he had to pretend that he had everything under control even when he didn’t. Peter thought about how wrecked he’d been after what happened, knowing he’d been crying, and knowing he only cried when Peter went out for walks and to the gym. He wanted him to know he could open up around him, he could handle being there for him, knowing he wasn’t always okay wasn’t going to chase him away.

Peter took a seat at the table, he began eating until he could think of something to say, if there was anything to say. Lucian had been the one who mentioned they needed to talk about something, that there were things they needed to discuss. Not that Peter was going to argue with him on that; they had a list of things they needed to discuss, a big list and he wasn’t sure what was the most important.

“Is your arm doing okay?” Lucian started, doing his best to not just stare at him.

“Fine, it still hurts, but not that badly.” It hurt less now that the pills were kicking in.

“Good, good. I think that, after last night, what happened with that…man.” He said the word ‘man’ as if it wasn’t the correct word to describe him, not that Peter was arguing with that. There was a long pause as if he was scared of whatever it was, he wanted to say.

Peter paused in his eating to look at him, his ridiculous fear of this being a breakup sort of talk flooding his mind all over again. It didn’t have to be a break up, he could simply say being close was dangerous and that he was going to go off to England or some other country and that Peter couldn’t follow him there because it would put him at risk. He didn’t like that; he didn’t like where his mind was leading him in the time that Lucian ran his fingers back through his hair looking absolutely distressed.

“I think I should turn you, soon.” He finally managed to say, the words coming out so quickly that it took Peter a moment to process them.

“Turn me, turn me into a lycan?” He asked slowly unsure if he was even hearing this correctly.

The worries of being dumped faded from his mind, he relaxed and began eating again. Lucian was still watching him as if he expected him to have an adverse reaction to this news.

“Yes, I, I think it’s a good idea. You obviously won’t be immune to death, but it’ll help you. If you can turn then you’ll be stronger, more alert. What happened last night scared me, if he’d shot you in the head then you would have died.”

He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from telling him that was typically a good way of getting killed.

“I know.”

“Do, do you still want this?”

Peter reached out placing a hand over his, “I do, I’m the one who has been driving you fucking insane about this thing.” He pointed out.

Lucian smiled, relaxing as he looked down at their hands. “Right, I recall that. I just want to know that you’re still up for this, that it’s what you want to do. I don’t want this to be something that you regret or something you grow to hate me for.”

“Told you a dozen times before that nothing could ever make me hate you. If by some bizarre act of God, I end up hating you in a few hundred years I still won’t regret this, it’s what I want. I love you.”

He couldn’t picture a future where he didn’t love him so deeply, so strongly. He could only ever picture a future where it was them and this way he knew a future with them together for eternity was more or less possible, there would always be a risk of death, but it would be lessened if he were a lycan too.

“I love you too, so incredibly much. I’m sorry that I’ve been dragging my feet about this, but it’s something that I’ve had worries and concerns about, I’m scared that you won’t survive the turning or that I’ll lose control when I bite you.”

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s a risk I’m willing to take, and besides I know you’d never kill me.”

It was nearly laughable to think of Lucian hurting him, killing him, he wasn’t the type to do those things. Peter didn’t care what the old bastard in the park had warned him about, Lucian did some questionable and insane shit years ago, but Peter knew he’d never in a million years hurt him or kill him. He could tell in the way he touched him and looked at him that he loved him, that he’d do anything for him, like turn him into a lycan after a good while of pestering.

“So when should we do this?” Peter asked.

“I think tomorrow night would be good, it’ll be a week until the next full moon. I think we could head out to the cabin when that time comes, plenty of space for your first transformation, we should bring the weapons with us this time though.”

Peter nodded in agreement, he hated they had to worry even so far away from people, but being paranoid was better than not being prepared at all.

“Okay, fuck we’re actually gonna do this.” He said smiling brightly.

Lucian smiled back at him, he brought Peter’s hand up to his lips kissing the back of it. The hunter got up from his chair moving to sit on his lap, he placed a hand against his cheek leaning in and kissing him slowly. “Love you so fucking much.” He whispered against his lips.

“I love you too, I swear that I’ll do everything I can to make this easy for you.”

Peter trusted him; he’d been given every reason in the world to trust him for about two years now. He felt like Lucian planning on turning him was another point against the crazy old man, he wasn’t something that Lucian was hunting or toying with, he was his boyfriend. Peter rested his head against his shoulder, fingers toying with the medallion the lycan wore around his neck. He felt comfortable and safe near him, he felt so many of his worries fade from his mind knowing that he’d be like him soon, it felt like a good start to something greater.

Chapter Text

For as much as he wanted this, had bitched and whined and written down near essays about the reasons why he should be turned into a lycan, Peter was still nervous. He attempted to hide his anxieties about it, but Lucian noticed, he could always read him like the world’s worst written book.

“Are you sure that you’re still sure about this?” He asked, eyeing him carefully as if looking for signs that Peter wanted to bolt.

“I’m a thousand percent positive, just y’know it’s the day, the moment, and…. It’s like cold feet before a wedding, except I swear I’m not going to run out on this. I want this, promise.”

Lucian regarded him for a moment before nodding, “I just want to be sure.”

“I know, and I’m sure, about this.” He said as he laid another towel onto the bed. The last thing he needed or wanted was blood getting on sheets that cost him two-hundred dollars.

He went over to Lucian taking him by the hand and leading him over to the bed, he sat down on the edge of the bed pulling his boyfriend closer until he stood between his legs, he pulled his hands up to his lips pressing kisses against the back of them. “I trust you and I’m certain about this, because I’m certain that I want to be with you forever.” He said as he looked up at him hoping to ease his worries about him changing his mind last second.

Lucian leaned down kissing him gently, he brought a hand up to place against Peter’s cheek as he laid him back against the bed. Peter tangled his fingers in his hair pulling him in closer, one leg hooking over his lower back as he pulled him closer, as close as he could get to him. He bit and sucked against his bottom lip as his nails scratched against his scalp.

“I love you,”

“Love you too,” he whispered kissing along his jaw.

“Are you ready?”

Peter let out a heavy sigh, he nodded, fingers still petting through his boyfriend’s hair. He of course worried, it was difficult not to worry about this. He knew Lucian was worried, worried that he wouldn’t survive the process, worried that it just wouldn’t work at all, he had his own personal worries that he wouldn’t be like Lucian, that he’d become a mindless monster. He knew that perhaps that was a moronic fear, but it was one that still plagued his mind. He did his best to shove down those worries as he relaxed back against the bed, he stared up at the ceiling focusing on evening out his breathing, thinking about the song he’d listened to on the radio that morning, thinking about shows on Netflix he wanted to check out. His eyes slipped closed when he felt Lucian’s fingers caressing the side of his neck, his touch gentle and kind, just the hint of sharpened nails against soft fragile flesh. He felt lips trailing kisses from his jaw down along the side of his neck, he knew this was difficult, for them both. He knew in a way this was Lucian hurting him, but he’d asked him to do this to him. Lucian took hold of his hand, lacing their fingers together. Peter took another deep shuddering breath when he felt familiar fangs against the side of his neck, grazing, barely there before pressing down harder than they typically did. He closed his eyes tightly, gripping his hand, he let out a small cry when he felt those rows of sharp teeth tear into his flesh, the burning pain that shot through his body, his brain screaming at him to move away from what was tearing into him, but the weight on his body kept him pinned against the bed. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he felt a wet tongue press against his neck licking up the blood that poured from the wound, soon the fangs were retreating, he could hear and feel Lucian’s heavy breathing, his breath hot and wet against his skin. Peter shivered as he felt the infection entering his body.

Lucian moved off him, he grabbed the cloth from the bedside table pressing it against the wound in Peter’s neck, the wound he could feel actively healing itself, he could feel the pull and tug of his flesh as it ever so slowly tried to mend itself back together. He kept his eyes closed, teeth chattering as the pain lingered like lava. He could feel Lucian’s hand on his cheek, the brush of his lips against his forehead, he pulled the hunter into his arms holding him closely.

“Can you hear me?”

Peter nodded, “yes,” he managed to say, voice shaky as he curled against him seeking out the heat of his body.

He felt him petting his hair, lips press against his sweat soaked forehead. “I know, I know it hurts, I’m sorry. It’ll get better, the first half hour is always the worst.” His voice was gentle, caring, it helped to soothe the panic mode his system was going into.

Everything in his body felt like it was at war with itself, he could feel it changing, feel the wound in his neck healing, the wound in his shoulder mending faster than any doctor could have mended it. It was a strange sensation feeling the stitches pushing out of his skin as the virus taking over his body rejected them, his flesh mending and growing over leaving scars that would be white and faded within the hour. He couldn’t find the strength to talk, only to keep his face hidden against Lucian’s chest focusing on the steady strong beating of his heart. He felt more aware in this moment of his body than he ever had in his life, it was strange being aware of it, being aware of something new occurring within himself, the way he changed. Maybe it was all in his head, not being something new, but the way he felt. He groaned at the occasional sharp pain that shot through his body, fingers clenching against Lucian’s t-shirt each time he felt it. Lucian rubbed a soothing hand along his bare back, told him how good he was doing, how proud he was of him. His words were comforting, his presence was comforting.

He had been right about the first half hour being the most difficult, though for Peter that extended into nearly over an hour before his body settled. He no longer felt like he was filled with molten lava, his heart beat slowed to a mostly normal rate, though his body itself still felt warmer than it normally did, there was a slight aching in his head, but other than that he began feeling fine again. There was an intense exhaustion that washed over him, if he hadn’t been sticky with sweat then he would have happily curled up in bed and slept.

“I need a bath.” He muttered against Lucian’s chest.

“I’ll run one for you.”

Peter wasn’t thrilled with being left alone while Lucian went into the bathroom to run a bath for him, but he couldn’t argue or find the strength to get up and follow him. He instead opted for just remaining on the bed curled up, nearly asleep by the time that Lucian returned to the room gently shaking his shoulder to wake up. He scooped the hunter into his arms carrying him into the bathroom, Peter managed to stand long enough to slip out of his boxers and get into the tub with him, he leaned back against Lucian sighing as he relaxed. There was something comforting in the warm water lapping against his flesh, Lucian carefully washing the sweat from his skin, the drag of the washcloth gentle over the mark on his neck.

“It’s already healed, do you want to check your shoulder?” He asked as he pressed a kiss to where the white scar from the bite lingered permanently on his neck.

Peter carefully removed the bandage from his shoulder, he looked down at the wound, the white scar that was in place of it. He pushed his index finger against the mark, smiling to himself when he noticed how it didn’t hurt in the slightest as he pressed against it.

“Guess I don’t gotta worry about hospitals anymore then.” He said mostly to himself.

“No, but I don’t advise getting hurt on purpose.”

“Course, not like I enjoy getting shot y’know, hurts like a bitch.” He leaned his head back against Lucian’s shoulder smiling up at him.

Lucian smiled back at him, seeming to ease and relax seeing Peter coming back to himself, talking, and moving. He leaned down kissing him, Peter reached up stroking his fingers against his cheek. “Thank you,”

“You don’t have to thank me; I don’t think anybody has been grateful for being turned.” He said as he wrapped his arms around his waist.

“I’m thanking you, just for everything really. I think this was the right decision considering everything.”

“I think you’re right about that, I don’t have to worry quite as intensely about you. I still will, but I know that you’re safer now.”

Peter turned around to face him, settling himself on his lap. “Much safer now that I’m a big bad wolf like you.” He said grinning.

Lucian smiled back at him, the realization truly dawning on him that he wasn’t quite as alone now as he’d been before. He rested a hand against the small of his back pulling him closer against himself, he kissed him slowly, sharpened teeth nipping against his bottom lip. “Forever, right?” He asked against his lips.

“A million years, whatever you want.” Peter wanted eternity with him, eternity that was in their hands right now.

He nuzzled against Lucian’s neck, kissing against his skin. Under the exhaustion he was excited, thrilled, and still in shock that this was really his reality now. He’d never expected for this day to come, he years ago never would have even imagined himself wanting to be anything other than a human being. It still was a strange thought to know that he was no longer a person, deep down inside his body was something else, something more that he wasn’t sure he’d be able to comprehend for some time. Still he was excited, many questions filling his mind about the what now and the what next.

For the current present once they were done with their bath they headed back to bed, Lucian telling him he needed to rest as much as possible while his body adjusted to the changes it was going through. Peter wanted to ask more questions, but the second he was curled up in their bed he found all he wanted was to hold him and sleep for a month or two, Lucian was more than happy to get in bed with him, holding him tightly and watching over him to make sure that he was still okay. They did as far as Peter was concerned had all the time in the world to figure things out, to ask all the questions that he had and work out the mechanics of being something other than human.

Chapter Text

It was nice being back out at the cabin again, Peter had honestly missed it, which was something he never thought he would think in his life. It was the sort of place he used to deem only as a place to drink and pretend he was getting away from the city. Now he actually was using it for that purpose; a makeshift place for Lucian and himself to hide from potential hunters and vampires, both still paranoid that the wrong sort of people and monsters knew where they were living. They both knew without saying though that it was always possible those same people could know about this cabin since they seemed to be stalking the woods looking for wolves without packs. He knew also that they were in a constant low-grade sense of danger, at least there was the lurking potential of danger, and that did deep down terrify him. He was newly turned, tomorrow night he would transform for the first time only because of the kickstart the full moon would give him, even transformed he doubted he’d be fully capable of properly defending himself. Even if he hid it h e did have reasonable worries and paranoid fears all the way in the middle of nowhere.

Still he was excited, it was hard not to be excited about this. Though without seeing any difference in himself outside of a heightened body temperature, heightened senses, and the scar on the side of his neck from where Lucian had bitten him it was difficult to feel like he was more than human. Well a very healthy human, something he’d never been before by any means. A silly part of his brain feared he wouldn’t even turn, that the changes he felt were all in his head, a worry he’d voiced to Lucian a couple nights ago where he was very much assured that his scent was no longer the slightest bit human. He hadn’t been quite sure if that was insulting or a compliment.

“This is exciting, still a bit nervous, but excited.” Peter said from his position sprawled out on the couch, long legs hanging over the arm of it.

Lucian was seated on the floor, leaning back against the couch. “It’s going to feel strange when you do turn, it’s always strange when it’s by the moon’s cycle and not your own will.” He informed him, he took hold of Peter’s hand, fingers stroking against his skin. “We’ll have to work on controlling yourself, your emotions have an impact on your physical changes. You don’t want your eyes shifting or just changing completely the next time somebody pisses you off.”

Peter smirked, “C’mon it’d make people respect me more. Think I won’t notice it if my eyes go all pale like yours?”

Lucian pressed a kiss to the back of his hand, “they’ve been doing that.”

He pulled his hand away from his and sat up, “what the fuck, why didn’t you tell me my eyes have been doing that?”

Lucian turned to face him, smiling at the mildly offended look on the hunter’s face. “I wasn’t going to stop us in the middle of sex just to tell you that your eyes were suddenly very off.”

“That’s so fucking embarrassing.” He groaned leaning his head back against the couch.

Lucian moved from his spot on the floor to settle himself on Peter’s lap. “It isn’t embarrassing, happens to both of us.” He whispered leaning in to lick against the white scar on his neck. Peter let out a small moan, he placed a hand against his partner’s hip.

“Guessing you’re into it.” He said looking at him again.

“Very, I haven’t had many partners who were lycans, none that I was in love with anyway.”

Peter hummed in response, his fingers pushing up under his shirt to touch along his hip, trailing along his side and over his stomach. “Like being the first human and lycan you love.”

“The only one,” he quietly reminded him, lips brushing against his neck, teeth nipping at his skin as he kissed lower.

Peter tangled his fingers in his hair pulling him up kissing him hard, Lucian pulled back long enough to remove his shirt tossing it to the side, he placed his hands against his shoulders, fingers digging in against him as he kissed him hard, teeth nipping against his bottom lip. He moaned into the kiss as he felt Lucian slide one hand down his torso, stopping at the growing bulge in the front of his jeans, he reached down grabbing his wrist stilling his hand.

“Hold on a second, I want to see it happen.”

“See what?”

“My eyes, when they change.” He gently pushed at his partner’s side; Lucian climbed off him still seeming confused as Peter got up from the couch taking him by the hand.

“Where are we going?”

“Bathroom,” Peter informed him as he dragged him back into the bathroom.

One of his favorite things about the cabin was the lovely counter setup against the wall, the long vanity mirror that hung above it, Lucian seemed to get the general idea of what he wanted the second that Peter pushed him up against the counter, knee pressed between his leg, cupping his face as he kissed him hungrily. Lucian’s hands found his hips, his grip tight. Peter could feel the graze of fangs against his bottom lip, he moaned shivering at the sensation.

“Get undressed,” Lucian ordered, nipping against his lip.

Peter backed away from him quickly stripping out of his clothes until he was left completely bare, he glanced over Lucian’s shoulder at the mirror catching a glimpse of his reflection. He moved closer to the mirror leaning over the counter to get a better look at himself, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he noticed the way his eyes looked; the pupils were either completely gone or so pale they were impossible to notice, his eyes looked like Lucian’s with their pale glazed shade of blue. He parted his lips noticing his teeth sharper, longer than they’d been a minute ago. He was pulled from his self-fascination when he felt a warm weight press against his back, lips pressing between his shoulder blades. He looked up seeing Lucian watching him in the mirror’s reflection.

“Enjoying yourself?”

“Sorry, I got distracted.” He sheepishly apologized, he hadn’t meant to get suddenly feeling sheepish and awkward.

Lucian pressed a kiss against his shoulder blade, his hands rubbing up along his sides. “It’s fine, I think it’s…nice that you’re so happy about this, I’d worried perhaps you wouldn’t like the way you look like this.”

“I like it on you, don’t I?”

“It’s different when you’re the one going through those changes, you look gorgeous.” He whispered, breath warm against his bare skin.

Peter reached up stroking his fingers through his hair, he tilted his head to the side sighing as he felt those lips trailing along his neck, fangs grazing along his skin. Peter watched them in the mirror, cock twitching at the image of the gorgeous man pressed against his back, hands roaming over his skin, nails scratching down along his stomach. He moaned low in his throat when he felt Lucian’s hand come close to his cock, fingers just barely brushing against his tip before moving away, he gave a hard tug to the lycan’s hair.

“Touch me, please.” He begged, pressing back against him, he groaned feeling Lucian’s hard cock pressing against his ass.

He lowered his head, his free hand gripping the edge of the counter as he felt his partner’s fingers trail along the underside of his cock, blunt nails teasing sensitive skin, his cock twitching in response. Lucian bit against his shoulder, his own moans muffled as he rutted against the other man. Peter let out a sigh of relief when Lucian began stroking his cock, the motion of his hand agonizingly slow, but at least some relief. He thrust into his hand, nails digging against the counter. He hissed cursing under his breath as he felt fangs piercing into his shoulder, a thumb stroking in teasing circular motions around the tip of his cock smearing pre-cum over his heated skin. Lucian stepped away from him, Peter groaned frustrated at the complete loss of contact. He looked up into the mirror seeing himself disheveled, Lucian a step behind him, eyes the same haunting color as his own. He watched as Lucian reached for the bottle of lube on the counter by the sink before stepping back behind him lowering himself to his knees. Peter hung his head again, he folded his arms on the countertop, forehead resting against his arms. He swallowed hard biting back a desperate moan as he felt lube slicked fingers running slowly down between his ass cheeks. He cursed feeling fangs press against his flesh at the same time that two fingers brushed over his hole before pressing in slowly. A firm grip on his hip kept him from thrusting back against his fingers. He curled his fingers against his arms, whimpering at the slow ease of fingers thrusting into him.

“Fuck,” he cursed frustrated as he felt Lucian’s fingers slip out of him, a moment later thrusting back in, brushing against his prostate before slipping out again. He moaned as he felt a sharp slap against his ass followed by the press of a hot wet tongue against his hole. Peter bit his own arm to muffle the sounds welling up inside him, a low growl resonating in his throat as he felt his lover’s tongue lapping into him. He felt a hand on his cock stroking him, pre-cum sliding down along the length of his aching cock and dripping onto the tiled floor below him. His thighs trembled, his moans desperate whimpers and whines as he begged him to fuck him.

All sensation left him again when Lucian pulled away from him climbing to his feet. Peter glanced up watching the mirror, he felt a hand against his hip, fingers brushing against his skin. He shivered as Lucian met his eyes in the mirror, holding his gaze as he slowly pushed his cock inside him, he pulled halfway out then slammed back into him. Peter cried out in pleasure, nails digging against the counter, Lucian kept a firm grip on his hips pulling him back as he pounded into him at a wonderfully rough pace. He leaned down, his chest pressed against Peter’s back, his lips brushing against his shoulder as he continued to thrust into him. Peter whimpered and moaned as he felt fangs biting against his skin leaving marks that would heal seconds after being made. He reached back tangling his fingers in long hair tugging him up until their lips met in a desperate kiss, he bit and sucked against his bottom lip, fangs piercing into skin, he moaned into the kiss as he tasted blood. He licked and sucked against his bottom lip, the bitter taste of copper on his tongue, in his mouth, just as intoxicating as the feeling of the cock filling and stretching him. Lucian tangled his fingers in his hair tugging hard drawing a growl from his partner, he kissed along his jaw, whispers of praise against heated skin as he wrapped his fingers around his cock stroking him in time with his increasingly frantic thrusts.

It didn’t take long until Peter was cumming over his hand and onto the floor below, his body relaxing against the counter, the cool surface cold and comforting against his hot sweaty skin. He watched himself in the mirror, quietly moaned as he felt a hand pressed against the back of his neck, Lucian’s rough thrusting inside him until he was spilling inside him. Fingers lovingly caressed the back of his neck, up through his sweat soaked hair that clung to the sides of his face and forehead. Peter rested his head against the counter, eyes closing, he smiled as he felt lips press against his cheek. Lucian slowly pulled out of him, grabbed his hips turning him to face him, he pulled the hunter into his arms holding him closely.

“Good?” He asked pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Peter nodded, “very, very good.” He answered his voice rough.

Lucian kissed his forehead again before moving away from him to run a bath for them. Peter turned his attention back to the mirror, his mind less clouded with lust and thoughts of sex, he still felt a twinge of excitement in his gut seeing his appearance. Cheeks flushed, still healing bites littered along his shoulders and neck, blood staining his lips. He pushed his fingers back through his damp hair pushing it out of his face, he smiled exposing rows of sharp curved fangs much like Lucian’s. He almost didn’t care if his face ever slipped back into a more human guise, he liked this, he never thought he would. He grew up with nightmares of seeing something supernatural in the mirror, of losing his humanity. He’d worried that just maybe this would be too much when he was really confronted with the fact of it all, the fact that he wasn’t a human being anymore. He didn’t feel scared or overwhelmed though, he felt settled, he felt like this was right.

After a relaxing bath where he apologized a few times for biting him so hard they got dressed and crawled into bed together. Peter laid close against his side, head resting against his chest. He felt safe in their shared bed far away from the city, away from a life he knew he was going to have to get sorted out once they got done out here. For now though he didn’t feel as if they had to think about all of that, he felt like as long as they were in their personal little bubble then things could be okay.

Chapter Text

Peter leaned back against the side of the cabin; gaze fixed upon the darkening sky above. There was a mild anxiety in the pit of his stomach as he stood waiting for the full moon to shine, something inside him, some primal instinct is itching for the pale light to shine over him, to drag out something hidden away within flesh and bone. He’d spent his day mostly not thinking about it, about the moon, about his body shifting and changing. Lucian had told him everything he felt that he needed to know for this night; he’d told him that there would be pain and extreme discomfort in changing, at least for the first few times, but soon he’d grow so accustomed to the changes that occurred that he’d no longer feel that pain. He supposed that was a comfort, still the thought of fully shifting into something else was hard for him to wrap his mind around, on the other hand it felt natural. His eyes could change, and his teeth could sharpen into fangs when his emotions ran high, he never took notice of it until he’d seen it in the mirror, but this was a full body change. He’d been told his mind would function differently when he was a wolf, his thoughts would become more basic, working more on instinct than in depth human thinking. He supposed that was alright, but he worried he could just go off and attack somebody. Lucian had assured him a handful of times that the likelihood of him losing control over himself and attacking a human was substantially low, but that was another reason to stay hidden away in the woods far from people, just in case.

“Nervous?” Lucian asked as he came to stand before him.

“A bit, kinda hard not to be, few minutes now.” He responded honestly, eyes flickering back to the sky waiting. “It’s just going to happen right; I don’t have to do anything?”

“Correct, it won’t be under your control when the moon’s full, at first. It won’t always be that way, but you’ll always feel different when there’s a full moon.”

“Was it like this for you, when you first changed?”

“It was, the first time I changed was when I was about thirteen, for us born as lycans it tends to begin around the time puberty hits. They enforced the rule of my being collared permanently after that first time, of course they would remove the collar when they wanted me to infect humans they’d enslaved.” He explained, there was a bitter undertone to his voice despite how casually he spoke about this.

Peter still felt odd hearing about it nonetheless, the thought of it made him sick; he knew all about the cruelties that humans committed against one another and as time wore on he was finding it more obvious the monstrous things humans did to creatures they refused to understand. Still the thought of vampires in other countries committing such acts was unsettling, he wondered how long vampires held control over towns and villages before they’d been found out and destroyed or run out of their castles.

He took hold of Lucian’s hand giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s horrible what they did, the way they treated you.”

“It’s mostly in the past now, there’s always a new horror for us to focus on.”

He was correct about that, there were potentially other hunters out there that they needed to think about. Peter still had trouble wrapping his mind around the way that they felt; he knew perhaps they felt towards lycans and werewolves the way he would always feel towards vampires, but his bias he knew kept him from feeling for the hunters. His bias stronger now that he wasn’t a human, still a thought that was odd to him.

“It’s about time.” Lucian told him as he pulled him away from the cabin and further into the maze of trees where he was certain they wouldn’t be seen.

“I don’t do anything, right?”

“Right, just don’t fight it when you feel it starting to happen. Your body knows what it’s doing, changing is a lot more painful when you try to control it on the first try. Just remember I’ll be right here with you, all night.” He assured him.

“Right, you’ll change too, won’t you?”

“I will, promise, it’ll be easier for me to keep an eye on you.” He said kissing him gently.

He tried to imagine what this would be like if he had to go through it alone, it was an impossible thing to wrap his mind around. He couldn’t fathom what it was like for other people who didn’t ask to be turned, to suddenly one night turn into a large wolf. He wondered if he was the only person to actively chase after becoming a lycan, perhaps there were others, but he found that difficult to believe. His nerves ran high as they stood there waiting, he began pacing just to give himself something to do, mind fixated on his own body. His worry of nothing happening began creeping into his mind again until he felt something, a sharp stab of pain shooting up through his spine knocking him onto the ground. He cried out in pain landing hard on his hands and knees, body shaking; he could feel it, feel something, a searing overwhelming pain as his bones shifted beneath his skin. He closed his eyes tightly pressing his forehead against the cold wet ground, each deep shuddering intake of breath bringing the heavy stench of the Earth into his nostrils. He clawed at the ground, dirt caking beneath his claws, he opened his eyes just enough to see his fingers elongating, the skin darkening to a dark leathery brown, fur pushing up through flesh covering the backs of his hands, black claws extending, tearing into the Earth. He closed his eyes again doing his best to relax, to allow his body to do what it was needing to do. It was difficult with the pain, with the piercing beeping in his ears as if his brain no longer knew how to handle what was happening with his body. He collapsed fully against the ground, his mind going blank as the pain became too much to handle.

Lucian stayed back, a decent sized distance between himself and Peter as he watched him writhing on the ground screaming out in pain as his body shifted and changed. It was of course difficult to watch the man that he loved going through something that caused him such immense agony, agony Lucian recalled feeling when he’d been young, scared out of his mind at the way his body tore and changed without his wanting it to. There was an itch to comfort him, to speak to him, or place a hand against his back, but he fought past that urge and kept his distance. Within ten minutes it was over; the creature that rested upon the ground was nowhere near human. The wolf slowly lifted itself up on long unsteady legs, it turned slowly to face him. His fur was thick and long, a dark brown that shone in the moonlight, ink black eyes stared up at him, ears perked up and alert, a low growl emitting from deep in the wolf’s throat as it regarded him.

“Of course, I’ll change, but I just wanted to ensure you were okay first.” Lucian said, hands raised as he smiled down at the wolf.

Peter sat down on the ground, waiting. It took Lucian much less time to turn, barely a minute and he was in his natural form. It wasn’t until he was turned that he noticed how his mate was smaller than him, two inches shorter, his build less broad and muscular; truthfully, he could nearly pass for a normal wolf at least from a distance. Peter rose to his feet, he pressed his muzzle against Lucian’s neck nuzzling against him, tail wagging. He backed up a step looking at Lucian, waiting for him to show him what to do, where to go. Typically, wolves did as they wished, stick to a pack or with a mate, the more brazen just going off on their own to do as they pleased. Lucian was more than happy to lead though, he walked through the woods with Peter close behind him, soon by his side. Once he was certain he was more adjusted to his new form he began to run, the smaller brown furred wolf chasing close behind him, very nearly able to catch up with him, surpass him if he tried harder.

The two wolves raced through the woods, a sense of freedom filling the two creatures at the knowledge that they were in a place where they could just be with no worries about the outside world, about humans who could harm them. It was late in the night, they were isolated far from humans or vampires, these woods belonged to them for as long as they wished them to. It was that freedom that was intoxicating to them, allowing them to race through the woods until morning neared, only settling when they exhausted themselves. Lucian curled up on the ground, Peter curled up against him, head resting on his paws, a low content sound in the wolf’s throat as he felt his mate nuzzle against the top of his head, tongue licking at the back of his ear. Peter was the first to fall into sleep, Lucian stayed awake, alert to the sounds of the woods, wanting to be completely sure that no intruders would dare approach them as they rest.

When Peter woke he was very aware of the cold hard ground beneath him and the sun shining down on him through the branches of the trees, he was also aware of the large black furred wolf curled up behind him, head propped up on his shoulder. He groaned stretching, held his dirt coated hands out in front of himself to see they were once more very much human, as was the rest of him, human and very naked. He attempted to pull away from Lucian only to have the wolf throw a leg over his side, large paw against his chest pushing him back, he growled as he nuzzled against Peter’s shoulder. He sighed placing his hand against the wolf’s large clawed paw.

“Can’t stay here all day, I smell like wet dog and dirt.”

Lucian didn’t respond more than another low growl, but he did release his hold on his boyfriend. Peter awkwardly climbed to his feet stretching and groaning at the stiffness he felt all throughout his body. He could remember the night before, he remembered the horrid pain of changing, he did remember flickers of things that had occurred after they’d become wolves. He surveyed the area they ended up in knowing they weren’t overly far from the cabin, just a short walk back, and he could get himself cleaned up. When he turned back Lucian was back to his more human form, sitting on the ground watching him, a pleased smile on his face.

“Did you enjoy last night?” He asked curiously, hopefully.

Peter chuckled, he sat down in front of him. “I did, after the whole changing part. How’d I look as a wolf by the way?”

Lucian placed his hands on his knees, he leaned forward kissing him. “Beautiful as I imagined, brown fur, very lovely, much nicer than mine.” He said before kissing him again, hand resting against the back of his neck.

“Maybe because I’m a lot younger than you.” He teased; Lucian nipped against his bottom lip drawing a small moan from him.

“I nearly forgot how nice it is, having a mate.” He whispered pressing a kiss against his jaw. “I love you so very much.”

“I love you too, now we should seriously get back to the cabin so we can wash off.” He said as he climbed to his feet, though a part of him didn’t fully hate the idea of just staying in the woods like this with him for half the day.

Lucian seemed less willing to get up and follow him, but followed along, nonetheless.

He did feel different, real different now, the morning after. He knew what he could do, what he could become, and he knew that he wasn’t crazy. He knew he really could change, that he was no longer human; it didn’t scare him in the least. He kept thinking about last night, about the feeling of being something more, something strong and free. He couldn’t correctly word the way that it had made him feel after he’d transformed other than natural, right; he was excited thinking about the times he would be able to do this at will, the times they would be able to go on hunts together in the woods, and just be. He realized there was a lot he would have to get sorted out in his life once they returned to Vegas, but for now he just wanted to enjoy his new state of being.