Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hyung! Hyung, wake up!” Three members stormed into Yoongi’s room without even knocking. Yoongi blinked his eyes open and immediately shut them again.

“What do you want?” he growled. Someone sat on his bed.

“No, really, this is serious,” Jungkook said slowly and Yoongi opened his eyes.

“Okay, what is it?” he asked, not quite believing that this wasn’t some stupid prank. But Namjoon was here and he didn’t usually do things like that. It was the presence of Taekook that was making him suspicious. Namjoon took a breath.

“It’s Hoseok. He’s… missing. We haven’t seen him for five hours.” Yoongi instantly sat up.

“What?!” His sleepy brain was suddenly alert and his heart was beating like crazy. Taehyung sighed.

“He’s not in his room or anyone else’s room or on the roof either. We’ve tried his phone but it just rings out. It’s not even off or disconnected or anything. We looked outside but it’s pouring with rain so we came back in to tell you. Jimin and Jin-hyung are out but we told them to keep an eye out for him, although it’s unlikely they’ll see him.” Yoongi swung out of bed and grabbed his jacket off the back of his desk chair. Falling asleep in your clothes really was useful.

“Hyung, where are you going? It’s freezing and the rain is- “ Namjoon tried to tell him but Yoongi was not listening.

“I’m going out. I’ll call if I find him,” he told them simply before gliding out of the door and running out of the apartment. He switched on his phone and, despite knowing it was useless, called Hoseok. Just like the others had said, it rang out and went to voicemail. Yoongi stepped outside and was almost immediately soaked. It was gushing rain and Yoongi put his phone in his pocket for fear of it breaking. Once he had adjusted to the cold, he ran.

He dashed through the streets, eyes straining for any sign of life in the splashing streets. No cars were out and no one else was crazy enough to be out in this weather. Yoongi was. Panic had been rising in his chest and now he was close to bursting. But he had to keep going. Hoseok had to be somewhere. Five hours? He could be halfway across the country by now. But he wouldn’t be. Yoongi knew Hoseok, he would never stray too far from home. Even if it was serious, he was scared. And Yoongi needed to find him.

As always, Yoongi’s paranoid mind was already spiralling out of his control. Because what if Hoseok really had run away? He could have escaped and none of them would be able to find him. Yoongi didn’t know what they would do without him. How would he cope? Without his light, his battery, his euphoria, Yoongi didn’t know how he would be able to keep going day after day. Hell, he couldn’t go these twenty minutes without knowing where he was.

Yoongi was starting to understand Namjoon a little better. It felt so much better to cry in the rain. He just… what if they didn’t find Hoseok ever? It was impossible to tell where he had gone and Yoongi didn’t even know where he was anymore. Life would go on, the world would keep spinning, but Hoseok would be gone, so what was even the point. Bangtan wasn’t Bangtan without seven. The world wouldn’t function without its sun. Yoongi couldn’t live without him.

He shoved the thoughts away and kept going. Hoseok would give him hope. Yoongi knew that he would almost definitely catch a cold from this. But instead of that being the first thought in his mind, Yoongi was thinking Hoseok’s been out here longer than I have. Yoongi was still running, dashing through backstreets, alleys, side roads, anywhere he could think that Hoseok might be. He didn’t realise how far he had run until he found himself at the bridge. He stopped and caught his breath, remembering that this bridge was at least two miles away from their dorm. This is how clouded Yoongi’s mind had become, overwhelmed with the urge to just find Hoseok.

Yoongi looked up at the bridge ahead of him and sighed. Hoseok wouldn’t have gone further than this. He squinted through the rain and his heart was nearly at breaking point. A silhouette broke through the hazy light. Yoongi sprinted.

The closer he got, the surer he was that the silhouette was him, it was Hoseok. What the hell was he doing just standing in the middle of a bridge in the pouring rain? It didn’t make any sense but now was not the time for questions. He yelled out, “Hoseok-ah!” but Hoseok didn’t even flinch. Yoongi called again, “Hoseok!” jogging closer, but Hoseok wouldn’t look up. Yoongi reached him, finally, and touched his arm. Hoseok finally looked up.

Yoongi was breaking. Hoseok looked… not himself. He looked like he wanted to have been lost, like he wanted to stay forever in the rain and just disappear. It wasn’t a look that Yoongi wanted to see on Hoseok. But it was Hoseok. Yoongi gave up on saying anything and just flung his arms around Hoseok’s neck, cherishing the fact that he was real and here and not disappeared. It took a moment, but eventually, Hoseok’s arms wrapped around Yoongi’s waist and held him close.

Seconds passed and they stayed, clinging to each other in the rain. Yoongi didn’t care about catching a cold anymore. He just wanted Hoseok to be here and he wanted to be here for Hoseok. But Hoseok’s arms started to slip away and his body became heavier. And before Yoongi had a chance to react, Hoseok fell.

Yoongi was frozen in shock for a split-second. He looked at Hoseok on the floor, his clothes and hair drenched, and cracked his neck. He slid his arms under Hoseok’s knees and back and picked him up. It was taking a lot of his strength but it was worth it. Yoongi knew his body would detest him for this, but he didn’t care. They had to get home. So he ran.

It took longer. When Yoongi saw the familiar lights of their building, his heart leapt. He had almost done it; they were almost safe. He ran in and up the stairs. His arms were straining and his legs were aching but they were so close. Yoongi reached the door and took a deep breath. He kicked once, twice, thrice and the door opened on the fourth try. Jungkook and Namjoon were sitting, tense-looking, on the couch and Taehyung had clearly been pacing.

“Holy- “

“Oh my God- “

“What the fuck- “

“Can someone get the door to his room?” Yoongi asked, ignoring everyone’s shock. Jungkook sprang to his feet and ran to Hoseok’s door, opening it for Yoongi to carry Hoseok in. Yoongi was so exhausted, but a few more steps and it would be over. Taehyung noticed him shaking with cold and fatigue because he asked,

“Hyung, are you alright?” A stupid question, Yoongi thought. He had run out into the rain for half an hour and come back holding another unconscious member. Physically, he was drained. Mentally, he was struggling. He laid Hoseok down on the bed and the sheets were soaked almost immediately. Yoongi couldn’t find the strength to do anything about that now. He took off his jacket that had done nothing to protect him from the rain and threw it on the floor. He just wanted to rest.

Hoseok opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was Yoongi. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, dripping water onto the floor and holding his head in his hands. Hoseok watched as he slicked his hair back and sighed. He looked like… everything Hoseok needed right now and it felt amazing. Yoongi looked over and saw Hoseok’s eyes open and staring. He jolted into animation.

“Seok, oh my God,” he whispered. He moved up the bed and leaned over Hoseok, pushing wet hair out of his face. They were so close and Hoseok could feel the hot breath on his face, warming him. It was silent but the eye contact drowned everything out and Hoseok was suddenly absorbed into Yoongi’s soul, the worries, the relief, the heartbreak flowing into him.

“I’m okay, hyung, I promise,” Hoseok whispered, not wanting to shatter this precious moment. Yoongi’s eyes glittered with sadness and hope at the same time. Everything felt so gentle, so delicate, as if everything could fragment if Hoseok’s heart beat a fraction louder. A droplet from Yoongi’s hair fell onto Hoseok’s cheek like a stray teardrop and it felt cold against his heated skin. Yoongi lifted his hand and lightly stroked the water away. Hoseok shut his eyes and felt the soft caress of Yoongi’s touch against him.

Hoseok opened his eyes again and it was hard not to let his breath audibly hitch. Yoongi was so beautiful it hurt Hoseok’s heart to look at him, like he was some treasure that he had been granted exclusive access to. Yoongi was pure art, ethereal and graceful beauty with darkness hidden behind his eyes that captivated Hoseok to the point that no other thoughts entered his mind. Just Yoongi.

“So…” Hoseok’s mouth let out, barely audible over the swirling silence between them. he couldn’t think of anything to finish the expression with. Gorgeous didn’t cut it. This was more than perfection. It was still and wonderful and fragile and everything. Hoseok could feel his heart pumping in his chest and Yoongi’s gaze dipped to his lips. Hoseok couldn’t focus on anything but Yoongi’s eyes as they met again, almost daring the other to make a move, break the stillness. And Hoseok must have looked pretty damn incredible because Yoongi did.

It was slow at first, tentative almost, the way he leaned in. His face moved closer and Hoseok’s eyes fluttered closed. He waited, praying this wasn’t a dream. He never wanted to wake up from this. Something like this could last forever. Except it didn’t.

The door opened louder than Hoseok had ever heard a door open in his life. Yoongi sat up and looked over as Namjoon chucked a couple of towels at them and said,

“Towels,” as if they didn’t know what they were. He then left and shut the door again. It was brief, but it was enough to break the atmosphere they had accidentally created. And it was quiet again. But it wasn’t the pristine and ubiquitous silence like before; it was thick and awkward. Yoongi scratched his ear like he always did when he was embarrassed. He was so much further away now.

“Y-you should probably get changed,” he mumbled. “Otherwise you might catch a- “ And Hoseok had had enough. It was too tempting, too tantalising to resist. It might go wrong. It might not. Before he knew it, he sat up and cut off Yoongi’s sentence by keeping his face just centimetres away from Yoongi’s. He felt the puff of surprised breath against his lips and it drove him over the edge. Slowly, he let their lips touch and he felt relief wash through his body. He just wanted this forever, this moment.

For a moment, Yoongi didn’t react. He stayed frozen against Hoseok and kept the suspense running of will he pull away? The question was answered as presumably the shock melted from Yoongi’s mind and he breathed. His lips moved, pressing further into Hoseok instead of pulling back and Hoseok smiled internally. He let the kiss naturally deepen, their mouths connecting smoothly and Hoseok yearned for more.

Yoongi’s hand gained the confidence to move. It was a small twitch at first but Hoseok soon felt fingers climbing his thigh, pressing against his stomach through his rain-slick shirt. Some unbeknownst urge spoke to Hoseok’s brain, telling him how good it would feel to run his hands through Yoongi’s hair right now. And Hoseok was very inclined to listen, lifting his hand and lacing his fingers through the dark, wet tangle of hair and it did indeed feel like heaven. Especially when Yoongi let out the smallest sound, a snippet of a moan. Hoseok wanted to hear more.

He felt Yoongi’s hand creep further up his torso and knew that he’d be able to feel his heartbeat soon. It was racing but Hoseok didn’t care. He hoped Yoongi’s was doing the same. Yoongi’s lips slotted perfectly against his and it seemed a miracle that they had never tried this before. It felt too good, too perfect. Even if Namjoon walked in again now, Hoseok didn’t think they’d stop. He didn’t think they could.

Yoongi got brave. His hand splayed against Hoseok’s chest and pushed, making Hoseok fall onto his back again, the impact breaking them apart. Yoongi shuffled until he was sitting over Hoseok’s legs and lying over him. Again, they were so, so close to each other, just wordlessly admiring each other’s features. Hoseok noticed that Yoongi’s eyes were very slightly tinged red and remembered their hug in the rain. Of course Yoongi had cried over him. It was too loving to resist.

Hoseok placed one hand on Yoongi’s waist while the other wound back into his hair, pushing him down for another kiss. Yoongi’s hands ran in opposite directions, one gently brushing against Hoseok’s neck and stroking the skin under his jaw. The other remained over his heart like a reminder of what he could do to Hoseok, the effect he had. Hoseok wanted to show him everything.

He bit slightly at Yoongi’s lips, trying to get him to open his mouth more and let him push further. Yoongi complied and Hoseok tugged on his hair slightly as a silent thank you as he felt Yoongi’s hot breath mingle with his own. Hoseok had heard it said somewhere that rappers were the best kissers. He had never fully been able to appreciate the truth of that statement before now since he was used to being the only rapper in a kiss. But Yoongi knew exactly how to move his lips, exactly how to flick his tongue against Hoseok’s mouth in the most teasing way possible, prompting Hoseok to wrap both his arms around Yoongi’s neck to feel him more.

Their tongues collided and Hoseok could feel his brain melting from ecstasy. How had he ever left the dorm in the first place when Yoongi had been there with the ability to make him feel this damn good? People didn’t often give him butterflies. Right now, his entire body was tingling, dissolving under Yoongi because of his touch. His soul was burning and he felt no shame that he could feel his heartbeat under Yoongi’s hand. He hoped that was enough to prove to him that he wanted this so much.

Yoongi’s nails dragged along Hoseok’s collarbone and Hoseok sighed into Yoongi’s mouth involuntarily. Yoongi clearly liked this reaction as he let out a low growl from his throat that Hoseok would kill to hear again. After living and working with Yoongi for so long, he had heard almost every sound possible come out of his mouth. Not that one. He was already hooked on him and it had been… how long? Time seemed to slip out of the window. It was difficult to think of anything at all when Yoongi was kissing him like that.

A knock sounded on the door and neither of them reacted. If they were quiet enough, it might go away. It didn’t.

“Hyung? Either of you? Are you okay?” Jimin’s voice sounded and Hoseok couldn’t find it in his heart to want Jimin to fuck off, even if his mind was screaming that. Yoongi pulled back with a soft sound and looked at Hoseok again. His eyes were still so beautiful. He moved his hand up and touched Hoseok’s bottom lip gently with his thumb before shifting his weight and getting up. Hoseok felt empty without the weight on top of him. He watched Yoongi go and answer the door.

“Yeah, Jimin?” he asked quietly. Hoseok couldn’t see Jimin from where he was still lying but he could feel the younger’s anxiety.

“I heard what happened and I just wanted to check if you were okay and- “

“We’re fine, Minnie. Hobi’s asleep right now and I think I’ll stay with him tonight,” he interrupted and Hoseok’s heart leapt.

“Oh, okay. As long as you’re both alright. Change your clothes as well, you’ll catch a cold,” Jimin told him and Hoseok was fed up of people telling them that.

“Will do. Goodnight, Jimin,” Yoongi said.

“Night, hyung.” Yoongi watched Jimin walk away, not hearing Hoseok get up behind him. He felt arms wrap around his waist and soft lips attach themselves to his neck and let out a groan. He pushed the door shut and tilted his head to allow Hoseok to kiss him easier. It left him breathless and yearning for more in a way that he didn’t even think was possible before tonight. But Hoseok had felt so good underneath him and he already missed the feeling of his tongue against his lips.

Yoongi bit his lip and turned around, holding Hoseok’s waist and carefully pressing him against the wall. They were both panting softly against each other, drinking in the tension, the potential that this moment held. A thought flickered in Yoongi’s mind. What if this was wrong? Hoseok was his friend, his bandmate, his business partner, and this was not a thing that friends, bandmates or business partners did. It could end so badly and Yoongi would always blame himself for letting that happen.

But then Hoseok gripped the front of Yoongi’s soaked shirt and tugged it forward, pulling them into another kiss, and Yoongi forgot it all. Hoseok’s mouth felt so heavenly against his, their lips connected in just the right way. It wasn’t like any kiss Yoongi had ever had before and he didn’t think he could go back to anything else. Everything felt right: the soft, wet sounds of the kiss, the friction of their sodden clothes rubbing together, the heat of Hoseok’s skin. It was all glorious.

Yoongi moved his hands up Hoseok’s body and slid them under the younger’s jacket to push it off his shoulders. Hoseok took his weight off the wall to allow it to fall to the floor, then his hands shifted to Yoongi’s neck, cupping his face gently. Hoseok’s tongue slipped over Yoongi’s lips and Yoongi couldn’t help but kiss him deeper, addicted to his taste. He felt Hoseok’s fingers dip lower and start to unbutton his shirt, exposing more and more of his skin. Soon, Hoseok had free reign over Yoongi’s body, feeling his abdomen and scratching lightly at his back.

Hoseok took small steps forward and Yoongi let the other walk him back, towards the bed. Hoseok pushed and Yoongi fell onto the damp sheets, resting on his forearms. He watched as Hoseok slowly took off his t-shirt, peeling the wet fabric off his perfectly sculpted body. Yoongi suddenly felt very warm and hoped he wasn’t staring too hard. It wasn’t the first time he had seen Hoseok shirtless; it was the first time in this context, knowing that he could touch him, feel him all he wanted that was making him dizzy.

Hoseok stepped forward again and placed his hand on one side of Yoongi’s head, leaning low over him. Yoongi wanted one thing and one thing only and that was to feel Hoseok’s skin over his, against his. He ran his hands up Hoseok’s bare sides and felt a slight shiver, followed by a sloppy kiss to his neck. Yoongi couldn’t help but let out a small moan at the sensation and wrap his arms around Hoseok’s waist to keep him this close. He could easily whisper anything in Hoseok’s ear, how hot he was, how amazing this felt. But he held his tongue. For one, he had no idea what sounds would escape his mouth if he didn’t; his breathing was already loud enough.

But talking felt… wrong (as if that was crossing the line). All of what they had done so far could be justified as heat-of-the-moment. Talking would be acknowledging it and accepting that they were consciously doing this. They both knew that that’s definitely what they were doing, but talking at all would kill a certain something. There was also nothing to say. Yoongi couldn’t formulate a single sentence to describe what he was feeling and he wasn’t sure his tongue was functioning properly anyway.

Hoseok’s teeth lightly scraping his skin dragged Yoongi back to reality. It felt sinfully good and he moaned again, breathy and higher pitched. In a way, he wished he could shut up, not used to being this submissive in bed; but he also needed some way to tell Hoseok how mind-numbingly blissful this felt, how every part of his skin was burning, begging for Hoseok’s touch. He nipped a sensitive spot on Yoongi’s neck and Yoongi bit his lip hard, only allowing a small, low groan to escape his throat. He held Hoseok’s hips and pushed on the mattress, rolling them over so he was on top. Hoseok looked faintly surprised. But it was Yoongi’s turn now.

He kissed a line up Hoseok’s jaw and took his earlobe between his teeth, pulling it and letting it snap back. Hoseok let out a fractured breath and stroked the back of Yoongi’s neck slowly. Yoongi dipped down and kissed Hoseok’s collarbone, licking and biting up his throat. At the same time, he scraped his nails down his sides and felt him tense up. His mouth fell open as Yoongi planted a wet kiss just beneath Hoseok’s jaw and dug his nails into his skin.

“Fuck,” Hoseok growled deeply into Yoongi’s ear and yeah, that was probably the most attractive swear word Yoongi had ever heard in his life. Despite wanting to hear more of Hoseok’s sounds, he couldn’t help himself and moved back to Hoseok’s lips. Kissing him felt too good to resist and even though Yoongi’s mind kept flitting to the future (thinking what the fuck are we going to do tomorrow?), he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Hoseok was the only thing in his world and Yoongi only cared about how he could make him feel everything.

Hoseok’s hands were back in his hair. Yoongi had to admit, whenever he pulled it, tugged it, clenched his fist, he felt his whole body spark with pleasure. So when Hoseok did it again, Yoongi let go, spilling moans into Hoseok’s mouth, trying to get him to do it more, harder. It had always been a weird thing for Yoongi to adore having his hair played with; it made his heart thud and his stomach drop for some weird reason. He wasn’t even questioning it now. He just wanted it.

He felt Hoseok smile into the kiss, seemingly pleased that he had tipped Yoongi over the edge. His other hand was skimming over Yoongi’s back and dipping into his spine, forcing a shiver from him. It all felt too good and Yoongi was certain he’d burst if they kept going but he didn’t want to stop until the world ended. He pushed his tongue into Hoseok’s mouth again, craving him badly. His hand moved up and he stroked his fingers through Hoseok’s gorgeous, wet hair. He always looked so divine with wet hair and to be able to touch it like this was pretty much all Yoongi had ever wanted.

Just a little longer, Hoseok told himself, then they’d stop. It couldn’t go any further without an actual conversation, he knew, and it didn’t look like any of them wanted to start talking any time soon. Because Yoongi’s fingers were in Hoseok’s hair and their lips couldn’t resist each other’s skin. ‘A little longer’ turned into a lot longer and it had well passed midnight by the time Hoseok remembered his own name again. He couldn’t recall how, why, where they had stopped this passionate frenzy, but when Hoseok’s head finally hit the pillow with the intention of sleep, Yoongi was wrapped around his waist as if he had always belonged there. Hoseok was starting to think that was true.

Chapter Text

When Hoseok woke up, his arms were wrapped around Yoongi’s torso and their legs were intertwined. This surprised him momentarily before he remembered how last night had played out. He had left the dorm, just wanting to think and got distracted by some of the worse thoughts. He had gotten to the bridge and it started to rain but he had stayed there. Then Yoongi had run to find him and Hoseok had been so relieved to see him that he cried. Then he passed out for no reason at all and felt so bad for making Yoongi carry him back.

Then he woke up. And spent hours just with Yoongi, not thinking about anything or anyone else. God, that had been amazing. He was so delicious and responsive and kissing him had been hotter than anything else in Hoseok’s entire life. They must have fallen asleep at some point, or maybe someone had interrupted them again. But that brought them to now. And Hoseok had no idea how they were going to go on with life as if nothing had happened because everything had happened.

Hoseok’s natural reaction took over – to leave – and he slowly began extracting himself from Yoongi’s embrace, despite how much it hurt him. He somehow managed to get free and he stood up. He had no idea how they’d managed to sleep in such a wet bed but Hoseok supposed they had other things on their minds. He quietly opened his closet and took out a dry shirt to put on but as he was doing it up, he heard a quiet,

“Hoseok…” and he froze. He looked over to the bed where Yoongi was still swathed in covers and rubbing his eyes. Hoseok swallowed.

“Morning, hyung,” he said quietly, hoping that those would be the only words they would exchange that morning. He was wrong.

“Are you feeling okay? You didn’t catch a cold, did you?” he asked, the low rasp of his morning voice annoyingly attractive.

“No, I’m okay. What about you?” he asked and Yoongi hummed deeply.

“I’m not sure yet. I’m not currently dying, so that’s a win for now,” he replied and it made Hoseok laugh. Yoongi groaned as he sat up, ruffling his dark, dishevelled hair. It was silent for a minute and Hoseok was about to leave when Yoongi said, “I think we should probably talk.” Hoseok sighed and stayed where he was. He knew where this was going. Yoongi saying that can’t happen again, I don’t actually like you like that and Hoseok begrudgingly agreeing. There had been moments last night where Hoseok could sense his hesitation and he didn’t want that. “Last night- “

“Should never have happened,” Hoseok interjected. “Any of it. And we need to go on with life ignoring it anyway, so how about we just pretend it never happened in the first place?” he suggested even though his heart was splitting. Yoongi was silent.

“Uh… yeah. Good idea,” he accepted quietly. Hoseok heard him take a breath and noticed that it trembled. “I should… go get changed. Before I really do catch a cold, right?” It seemed like a vain attempt at a joke and he got up, picking his half-dried clothes off the floor and leaving without another word. Hoseok stared after him and realised that oh God, I fucked up. He had been so quick to assume that Yoongi didn’t want to accept last night and that he was about to break Hoseok’s heart. He hadn’t considered that perhaps Yoongi didn’t want to forget it at all. Hoseok recalled Yoongi’s endless moaning, the countless kisses and fleeting touches. Maybe it was the flickers of doubt that made Hoseok question his intentions but they always disappeared again.

Hoseok flopped face-first onto his bed and considered the implications of what he’d said. They would never talk about it. They would never share sly smiles from across the room as they remembered it. They would never be the same alone again. And the one that hurt the most was the fact that they would never do it again.

Yoongi walked out of his room and hoped no one would notice how broken he felt. He had spent a good ten minutes trying to get his heart rate back to normal and pushing the tears back. It hurt. Hoseok didn’t even want to talk about last night and that pained him so fucking much. It had been everything. Yoongi had felt higher than he had done in months because of Hoseok but apparently, he didn’t care. Hoseok just wanted it to disappear and because he did, Yoongi wanted to disappear as well. Everything had been new and nothing had been remotely negative but maybe it had been different for Hoseok. Maybe his heart was beating so fast out of fear, not love. Yoongi wished he could say the same.

He walked out into the kitchen to see Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok already there. Yoongi took a deep breath and tried to act normal.

“Morning, hyung!” Taehyung greeted cheerfully. Yoongi didn’t trust himself to look at Hoseok so he didn’t.

“Morning,” he replied.

“Hyung, you don’t look too good. Did you catch a cold from being out in the rain?” Jungkook asked him and Yoongi shook his head, walking over to the fridge.

“No, I’m okay. Just a little tired, that’s all,” he answered, praying no one would push further.

“Did you catch a cold from sleeping with Hobi-hyung?” Taehyung asked and Yoongi froze momentarily before realising that he probably meant ‘next to’. He needed to be more goddamn careful.

“I said I’m fine,” he repeated, taking a bottle of water from the fridge. He walked away. “I’m going to the studio,” he told them.

“Aren’t you going to eat breakfast?” Jimin called after him and Yoongi just kept walking.

“No,” he called back before shutting the door behind him. Through the wall, he could hear Jungkook say,

“I don’t think he’s okay. Should we bring him some food or something?”  to which Hoseok replied,

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.”  Yoongi ran away. It felt so stupid but he ran away to his studio, not wanting to hear Hoseok’s voice at all because of the way it made his heart race and break at the same time.

He probably stayed in his studio for a good ten hours straight and not a single idea came into his mind during that time. He just sat there, replaying moments with Hoseok and trying to figure out how in hell he could forget that existed. He had received multiple texts from the others asking how he was and if he wanted food and stuff like that. He always lied, telling them, I’m fine or no, I went out and bought food but thanks :). It was so much easier to lie over text.

Not a word from Hoseok. Not a word from the others about Hoseok. Yoongi put his head on his desk and ran his hands through his hair, but even that brought back memories of how incredible it felt when Hoseok did it. Several times, Yoongi considered picking up his phone and telling Hoseok he missed him. He could cry and guilt-trip him into coming. But it wouldn’t work. Last night had never happened. At around half 6, there was a knock on his door and Yoongi instinctively called,

“Come in.” He didn’t even turn around to see who it was. Probably Namjoon here to give him snacks or something. 

“Hyung, we need to talk,” Hoseok said and Yoongi froze. His breathing slowed and he swallowed. He didn’t turn around as he replied,

“Yeah, sure. About what?” It felt so passive-aggressive and Yoongi hated it.

“About last night,” Hoseok answered seriously. Yoongi still refused to look at him.

“What about last night?” he asked and he heard Hoseok sigh and walk closer.

“No, come on, please don’t use that against me. I didn’t mean actually forget last night,” he pleaded and Yoongi spun around in his chair.

“Yeah, well that’s what you said, isn’t it? ‘Last night shouldn’t have happened’. You’re right. You should never use someone else to distract yourself from your problems,” he spat and Hoseok sighed in frustration.

“I didn’t use you as a distraction! I swear, that’s nowhere close to what last night was,” he tried but Yoongi wasn’t having any of it. 

“Oh yeah? Then why did you want to forget it so badly?” he argued, folding his arms.

“I didn’t mean it! I panicked, okay? I needed time to think and we didn’t have that time this morning,” he confessed and Yoongi was confused.

“Then why didn’t you say that ?” he asked and Hoseok was getting increasingly hysterical.

“Because I panicked!” Yoongi just looked at his watch.

“Well, it took you ten hours to figure out that I might have been upset about that and I’m gonna go ahead and doubt you spent ten hours processing it. You’re better than that,” he told him, slightly disgusted. Hoseok laughed slightly.

“Please, it took me ten seconds and I figured out I fucked up,” he refuted and Yoongi scoffed.

“And it took you ten hours to do anything about it? Top-notch communication going on right there,” he smiled sarcastically. Hoseok sighed dejectedly.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to see me,” he admitted and Yoongi shrugged.

“I didn’t.” Hoseok looked confused.

“Then why are you so mad that I didn’t come and see you?” he asked and Yoongi had never heard a stupider question. He stood up, anger boiling in his blood.

“Because I just spent ten hours trying to figure out how to erase the best night of my life after you invalidated it like that and the very least you could have done was come here and tell me that I’m not a terrible person!” he ranted and Hoseok stood his ground.

“You aren’t a terrible person,” he said and Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“Wow, thanks for that, real comforting,” he drawled. Hoseok looked like something had just snapped in his brain.

“Look, I hate myself for saying that too! And I’m so sorry that I did because I really want to talk about last night with you and say thank you for making me feel like that and I want to- “ he cut himself off and bit his lip in annoyance. Yoongi laughed and stepped forward.

“What? Go on, say it, I dare you,” he pushed and Hoseok broke.

“I want to do it again! With you! I want to feel like that again, I want to make you feel good, I want to hear you sound like that again and I- “

“Seok, stop it,” Yoongi told him, not quite believing this. He hadn’t been expecting it at all.

“I didn’t say any of that because I knew you’d say something like that!” Hoseok defended. “I know we can’t because it’s weird and wrong but I can’t help wanting you, hyung. But I can’t have you and you’re just gonna get mad again so I’m going,” he finished and turned away. Yoongi was still. Not once had he considered that Hoseok felt like that. He walked after Hoseok and grabbed his wrist.

Before the younger could protest, Yoongi had him pinned to the wall.

“I just spent ten hours wanting you to say something like that,” he whispered. “You’d better make this worth the wait.” Hoseok swallowed.

“H-here?” he asked, still shocked. Yoongi shrugged.

“Yeah, why not? Unless you’d rather not…” he suggested and Hoseok answered by smoothly kissing him. Yoongi smiled and kissed him back, relishing in the feeling of Hoseok against him again. He stroked Hoseok’s sides gently as Hoseok hooked an arm around Yoongi’s neck to pull him closer. Yoongi slid his hands under Hoseok’s shirt and felt his bare skin and perfect muscles. He pulled back slightly to say, “Jesus, you’re breathtaking.” Talking felt a little more on the table this time. Hoseok laughed.

“Says you. I can barely think straight,” he replied. Yoongi had to admit, he did look dazed. It felt powerful to have that effect. He leaned in again and whispered,

“Then stop thinking.” Their lips crashed together again and Yoongi felt Hoseok’s curious tongue against his. He adored the softness of the kiss, how Hoseok tasted. Yoongi pressed Hoseok’s body further into the wall, trying to get as much contact, as much friction as possible. He missed the feeling of Hoseok’s skin rubbing against his; it set his nerves alight. But, as always, it couldn’t be perfect.

“Wait, wait, hold on a second,” Hoseok managed to mumble between kisses. Yoongi immediately assumed he’d done something wrong and stepped back, at which Hoseok smiled. “Not that, it’s just... there's a window right there," he pointed out and Yoongi looked around.

"So... couch?" he suggested and Hoseok was already pulling him there. They fell next to each other on the couch and just gazed at each other. Yoongi was the definition of perfection, Hoseok thought. He also thought that they should probably be talking about this but he couldn't bring himself to interrupt this again. He leaned in closer and Yoongi's lips were so close to his and before he knew it they were kissing again.

He sank into the kiss deeper and felt the worries numb. He had never taken drugs before but he guessed that Yoongi was the closest he’d get. He was good enough for Hoseok. It wasn’t far off total intoxication.

Yoongi’s hand moved to Hoseok’s neck and his thumb made small circles on his skin that felt strangely tingly. Hoseok placed his hand on Yoongi’s hip and pressed their bodies closer, keeping the heat between them. It was already so hot and Hoseok wanted more. He hooked his leg over Yoongi’s waist and kept it there, his whole body yearning to be touched. Yoongi’s hand crept down to Hoseok’s thigh and pressed his nails in gently. Hoseok could feel it through the fabric of his jeans and moaned softly in response. Yoongi pulled back and smiled,

“You’re so beautiful.” Hoseok couldn’t even think of anything to say back. He just let his lips fall back onto Yoongi’s where they belonged. He was hyperaware of everything: Yoongi’s tongue flicking against his mouth, the hand gently tugging at his shirt (as if they weren’t already close enough), the slight friction of their jeans rubbing together. It all alighted nerves in Hoseok that he had missed feeling.

He wanted more and he knew exactly how to get it. He snaked one hand up Yoongi’s neck and buried it deep in his hair. He made a fist, tugging on the locks and earned a low moan from Yoongi that he felt rather than heard. Yoongi was upset, in a way, that Hoseok would never be able to fully understand exactly how good that felt. It made him fall even further until he was completely absorbed in Hoseok, the only thing on his mind how do I make him feel like this?

So Yoongi kissed him deeper, his tongue exploring Hoseok’s mouth passionately. It was heavenly, perfection. Yoongi couldn’t remember anyone else making him feel this good, this wanted, and he doubted anyone would again. He didn’t know or care how serious this was or, again, what the hell they would do later, but right now, he wanted this so badly it was driving him crazy.

“WHAT IN GOD’S NAME-“ someone roared. Yoongi broke the kiss faster than light and turned to look.

Ah.

Jungkook.