Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Can had not even arrived at the table yet and he could tell something was wrong. Pete's eyes were flitting from staring, worried, at Tin, to sharing a concerned glance with Ae. Their table had never been so quiet. Can sits down, as quietly as he could, next to Tin, and stares.

The usually brash, cold boy looks almost... sad. He's merely pushing around the food on his plate with his fork, seemingly subconsciously. He doesn't even register Can's arrival, stuck in his thoughts. Can opens his mouth, to say something, but hesitates.

What would he say? 

What could he say?

What should he say?

He glances over at Pete, who just smiles softly at him. And then he looks over to Ae, who looks.. almost concerned, which is saying something, considering how he feels about Tin. Can is at a loss for what to do, how to act. He's loud by nature and when that's taken away from him, there's really nothing he can do. 

It's Can's nature to comfort his friends when they're sad. But Can usually comforts with his words, and Can's not sure if Tin would even consider them friends... He sighs.

Tin's eyes widen, and he jolts a bit, dropping his fork. You wouldn't have been able to tell he moved if you weren't watching him closely. Tin's hand stays, lifted, where he had held his fork a few seconds prior. He starts to blink rapidly, and his hand starts to shake, still held awkwardly above his plate. Pete reaches out, tentative but wanting to comfort Tin. But Can beats him to it.

Can gently sets his hand on top of Tin's (It's so cold... and are those.. bruises? He'd definitely need to ask about that later...) and gently brings it down to his own lap. He gently helps Tin unclench his hand, stuck in the same position of when he was holding his fork. He picks Tin's hand up, gently, with his right hand. He puts his left hand on his thigh, palm up, and lowers Tin's hand onto his own. He interlaces their fingers and squeezes.

He looks up at Tin, who blinks, still staring down at his plate. He doesn't say anything, or look uncomfortable, so Can keeps a tight hold on his hand. Digging into his (now cold) food, acting like holding Tin's hand while he ate was a normal occurrence. He knew Tin would get uncomfortable if he made a big deal.

Pete whispered some excuse for him and Ae to leave, and Can just nodded, getting the message but not hearing what he said. 

Lunch passes by rather uneventfully, Can looking over at Tin every once in a while, though he doesn't move, not even an inch, still staring at his plate. Though, whenever he looks over, Tin squeezes his hand, and that's enough for Can. 

Can looks at his new phone (the one he still owed Tin for...) and curses when he sees the time. He has a class in a few minutes, but he really doesn't want to leave Tin-

"Go"

Can involuntarily squeezes Tin's hand when he speaks, a bit shocked. The boy's voice his hoarse and raspy, and Can would have suspected he was sick, if not for his red rimmed puffy eyes that Can didn't dare ask about. Can bites his lip, weighing his options, but when Tin looks over at him for the first time that day, eyes indescribably sad, he can only nod and squeeze Tin's hand one more time before letting go. 

Can was glad this was his last class of the day.

_________________________

Can had run to the IC building as soon as his class ended, not knowing when Tin's class ended but wanting to be there so he could catch the boy on his way out. He stood there, zoning out until he registered that a lot of students were leaving the IC building.

Pete being one of them.

He yelled the boy's name, waving his arms, and Pete came over, smiling soft as ever, if not a little sadder.

"Do you have your last class with Tin?" He asked, Pete nodded. Can thanked him, and said that was all he needed, and Pete blushed when Can said he was free to go find his boyfriend now.

Can stood there, until there were few IC students remaining outside, Tin still yet to be seen. Can sighed, and he was about ready to give up when the doors of the IC building opened once again.

It was Tin.

He smiled, but immediately stopped when he saw how.. disorientated the other seemed. He was practically tripping over his own feet, and swaying as he walked. 

He looked so tired.

Can walked up to him, and Tin didn't seem to register him until they almost ran into each other. He blinked slowly, his eyes unfocused.

"Give me your keys." Can said, ready to put up a fight if he said no. To his surprise, Tin handed over the keys with no hesitation. Only questioning him when they arrived at his car, Can's hand still around his wrist from having to practically drag the boy.

"You're obviously not fit to drive right now. Did you get any sleep last night? And you didn't even eat your lunch! And I know you rich people usually don't have breakfast even though you're rich.." He trailed off, a bit embarrassed that he scolded Tin, who obviously didn't need that right now. He sighed, trying to calm himself down. 

Tin only blinked, and nodded. So Can figured he wasn't too hurt, which was good. He walked around the car and opened the passenger door for Tin, who got in without a word. He then walked to the driver's side, getting in and starting the car.

"Tin, what's your address?" He asked, and Tin tensed. Stiff in his seat, he looked as though he was conflicted, and Can almost asked when-

"I don't wanna go home..." Tin said so quietly Can barely heard him. Can really wanted to ask, his inherent curiosity begging to be satisfied, but he knew Tin wouldn't appreciate that, at least not right now. He merely nodded, then headed towards his own house. 

Chapter Text

Can looked over at Tin as they pulled into his driveway. He thought the boy had fallen asleep since he hadn't made a sound the whole time, and had been slumped against the window for basically the entire ride. But when he looked over, he saw the boy was crying, silently. Can couldn't even tell if he knew he was crying, since he was just staring out the window with an empty look in his eye that made can uneasy.

"IC Bastard," Can said, too soft for the words to sound cruel. Tin looked over, looking dazed, "Come here.." Can grumbled, as he leaned over the middle of the car, wiping his thumbs under Tin's eyes, gently. Tin didn't move, didn't object, so Can figured this was ok. 

When the boy's tears had been wiped away, Can let his hands linger. They made eye contact, and a single tear fell from Tin's left eye. If Can didn't feel that Tin was so sad it physically hurt, he'd think he was absolutely breathtaking.

Can wiped the single tear, then retracted his hands. He got out of the car, as did Tin. They walked into Can's house, which was far too quiet. He called for his mom? then for Lay.

Silence.

Well, at least they wouldn't bother Tin, he supposed. 

"Are you hungry? You didn't have lunch..." Can asked, partially because he was concerned for Tin's health, but also because he was starting to get hungry himself. Tin shook his head so he forgot about his own hunger quite quickly.

"Do you wanna go to my room? I know my mom and Lay aren't here but I don't know when they'll be back, and I have a feeling you don't wanna see them right now..." Can trailed off, knowing there was no real reason he needed to take Tin to his room, but wanting to do so anyways. Tin nodded, and Can lead the way. He guessed Tin still didn't really feel like talking. 

Can opened the door and unceremoniously flopped onto his bed. He looked up and saw Tin standing, almost nervously, a bit unsure, in the doorway. 

"I won't bite." Was all Can said, though Can knew there was more to his hesitance than that. Tin nodded and sat at the far edge of Can's bed, almost falling off but making no effort to move. He had seated himself as far away from Can as possible, and Can tried not to let that hurt, but it did. Can knew it wasn't about himself though, and more so about Tin himself. The boy was obviously embarrassed at showing such "weakness" as he would call it. Especially in front of someone he... liked.

Can blushed at the thought. Now is not the time to think about that Can, focus!

Can sighed, trying to think if there was anything he could do to make Tin feel better. He sighed... He thought of a few things, but none of them seemed like something Tin would appreciate... He might as well give one a shot, though.

Can moved down to the edge of the bed, sitting right beside Tin. He grabbed Tin's hand, and the boy looked over at him, mouth parted a bit, as though in awe.

"Nothing that happens here leaves this room, Tin. You can cry, scream, tell me anything and it stays between us, I promise." Can held up his pinky on the hand that wasn't currently holding Tin's for emphasis, and Tin let out an incredulous, wet laugh as he linked their pinkies.

"I don't deserve you.." Tin said so quietly, Can figures he wasn't meant to hear. He's about to comment when a nasty sob is ripped from Tin's throat. There are tears streaming down his face at an almost alarming rate, and his sobs are getting more choked, and his breathing ragged, and Can's almost scared the boy will suffocate on his tears. Can gently pushes the boy's head down, right against the junction between his neck and shoulder. Can pet the boy's hair with his free hand, shushing him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Tin repeated when he could actually catch his breath enough to speak. He sounded so broken and Can wondered how many times Tin had been made to feel bad for crying for him to react like this. Can silently swore to punch whoever made Tin feel bad for crying.

"Don't ever apologize about sharing what you're feeling with me, Tin." Can said and he had never meant anything more in his life. 

"You have no idea," a sob, "how much that means to me." Tin's voice is shaking, sounding so much like a scared child rather than the arrogant bastard he tries to be. 

Can himself almost started crying when he realized Tin probably never had anyone he felt he could share his thoughts and feelings with. He squeezes the boy tighter.

Tin's sobs gradually turn into quiet tears, with the occasional shuddering breath. Can wants to ask what made him this way, but he's almost too scared to know. What could hurt Tin so thoroughly that this boy who seemed so cold, so aloof and detached, would almost breakdown in a public place?

"If.. If you don't mind me asking," Can gulped, "what has you so... out of sorts?" Can immediately regretted his choice of words, but he couldn't take it back now.

"It was..." Tin trailed off, hesitant. He but his lip and Can couldn't help but stare. "My.. My brother." He whispered the last word and Can felt his blood run cold, before it started to boil.

"That bastard!" Can yelled, and neither of them were expecting it. Tin looked at him with wide eyes, and Can calmed down a bit. "What the hell does he want from you? Why can't he just leave you alone! He already fucked up your fucking life can't he just fuck off! I swear if I ever see him I'll punch that bastard right in the nose-" Tin's eyes started to water again and Can was scared he said something to upset him.

"Thank you." Tin said, and Can was confused. 

"Why are you thanking me?" Can said, genuinely curious, and Tin stared at him as if he didn't get something so obvious.

"Because you... you're on my side." Tin said, with a small smile that broke Can's heart.

What has this boy been through?

"You shouldn't have to thank someone for being on your side, Tin... I'm your friend, of course I'd side with you over that evil bastard." Can said, and Tin smiled, a real smile. Not his smug smirk he wore after he kissed Can, not the smile he wore in front of Can's mother and Lay, but a smile Can had rarely seen.

It was lovely. He hated to make it go away so soon.

"I can't even say I'm surprised your brother pulled something but... What did he do? You seemed pretty.. um, worked up? Obviously you don't have to tell me, but if you want to I'm all ears-" Can started to ramble, nervous he had crossed a line of some sort. But Tin cut him off. 

"You really want to know why I was so worked up?" Tin asked, his seemingly permanent sly smirk now in place. Can noted the sudden change in mood, but nodded. Tin let out a humorless laugh.

"It's because he was talking badly about you."

Chapter Text

Yesterday, Medthanan Family Home;

Tin already knew something bad was going to happen when he walked through the front door of that house and saw Tul standing there. Usually Tul worked so late he wasn't present when Tin got back from school, so Tin could just lock himself up in his bedroom till he had to go to school the next day, and Tul didn't bother with him. 

'Hello, brother.' Tin grit his teeth. If you don't respond, he'll just get bored. He'll go away, just don't-

'Won't you even greet your big brother, Tin? Were you brought up in a barn?' No, Tin thought, I was raised living in your shadow. No one paid attention to me, but I'd like to think I have better manners than the likes of you.

'Ah, Tin I really don't get why you hate me. I just want what's best for you.' Tin was this close to punching him in his annoying face and just dealing with the consequences. Why do you hate me, he asks, like he didn't ruin my fucking life on purpose. Like he didn't hate me for no reason and ruin the life of a fucking child, a child-

'Ah, well I won't even try and change your mind, you've always been too stubborn for your own good. I presume school is going well? You know what happens if I suspect you're slacking off.' Tin does know what happens when he gets grades anything less than perfect, and he chooses not to think about it for a reason. He barely suppresses a wince, but apparently his brother notices.

'Do I scare you, Tin?' Tin risks a glance up from the floor and sees that smirk that makes him queasy. I think you damn well know the answer to that, since you lord that fact over me every chance you fucking get. He clenches his fists. 

'I just want you to talk to me Tin. Since you won't talk about this, let's talk about something else. Hm, what'll get you talking...' Tin's eyes widen, he wouldn't... 'I assume you know I've been ah, keeping tabs on you at school. I see you're still friends with Pete, right? That's good. Father would be pleased. But I see you hanging out with another boy that I didn't recognize. His name is Can, right?' Tin's jaw goes slack, before he clenches it. 

'Brother... You can do whatever, say whatever you want about me, but I will not let you say anything about C... my friends.' He doesn't look up, even when he sees Tul moving closer to him.

'Tin, I knew you were pathetic, but...'

Smack

'I didn't think you were a fag.' Tin blinks. His cheek stings, so he digs his fingernails into his palm to distract himself from the throbbing on the left side of his face. 

'Why are you protecting him, huh? The cold, mean, arrogant Tin Medthanan, defending someone? What, does he let you shove it up his ass, is that why?' The pain in Tin's cheek was long forgotten, he was furious. 

'I will protect those who would do the same for me. Don't disrespect his name by letting it fall from your filthy mouth.' Tin hissed. Tul blinked, almost surprised, and if Tin weren't so fucking pissed he would have laughed. 

'You sound like you're... in love with him or something,' Tul practically spits, 'You're disgusting. Do you know how ashamed father would be if he knew? He already resents you so I wonder if it'd even do anything.' Tin had to stop himself from laughing like a maniac, he hadn't cared what his father or any of his 'family' thought of him since he found out his brother ruined his life for petty gain. 

'Tell father whatever delusions you please but keep Ca- everyone else out of it. You already tried to ruin my life once, there's nothing else you can do to me.' Tin seethed, and for the first time in his life, walked away from Tul first. He felt... good.

'Tell that little fag to watch his back!' Tul yelled as Tin was walking up the stairs. Tin stopped midstep, and turned around slowly, trying to dissuade himself from throwing the antique vase near him at Tul.

'Touch him, and when I'm done with you you'll wish I just killed you instead.' Tin said, voice unwavering and dead serious. His glare so fierce he could crack stone. 

He didn't wait for Tul to respond before he stomped up the rest of the stairs and slammed his door. 

As soon as the door closed Tin collapsed against it, his knees buckling. His breathing started to become uneven and he couldn't focus his vision. He sagged to the floor, closing his eyes. He sat there for what could have been hours, or mere minutes, before the rage took place of his panic. 

How dare Tul talk about Can at all, let alone insult him. Tul doesn't even deserve to know Can, let alone speak about him-

Ow

Why... why did Tin's fist hurt? He looked down at it, blinking when he noticed his knuckles were bleeding. He slowly looked from his hand to the wall and sighed. This always happened when he got mad. He hated that he lost control to the point that he didn't even remember hitting the wall. He felt like some pre teen boy who couldn't control his emotions. 

Now that all the panic and rage had faded all he had was... disappointment. At himself. How could he be so stupid? Tul didn't need to know who Can was, let alone what he meant to Tin. But he couldn't just let Tul talk shit about him like that... He was so stupid. Why couldn't he just keep his calm? Why did he have to explode and react to Tul's childish taunting? What if Can was in danger now, because of him?

The more Tin thought of what his idiocy caused, the more the panic started to return. He bolted to the bathroom, and with shaky hands opened up all his drawers wondering where did I put it, where did I put it- 

Aha. His shoulders visibly relaxed when his hand came in contact with that little container. He opened it up and with tremblings hands grabbed one of the thin blades he'd hid after he 'accidentally' broke his razor. He pushed up the sleeve of his white school shirt, and shivered as he felt the blade, dull from use, dig into his skin. He sighed in relief when he pushed down, harder, and saw blood dripping into the sink. 

What would Can think if he finds out?

The thought came into being without his permission. He shouldn't dwell on that but... what would Can think? Would he think Tin was weak? Would he think Tin was insane for liking the pain he inflicted upon himself? Or worse, would hw get that stupidly soft look in his eyes and tell him it was ok and that he's sorry. Tin almost scoffed at the thought itself, why would he apologize for something Tin did to himself...

Tin winced as he wiped off the cut and put disinfectant on it when it stopped bleeding. He looked at the clock and somehow it was already past midnight.

(maybe he had been crumpled against the door for hours)

He knew tomorrow everything that took place today would come back to haunt him tenfold, but for now he didn't want to worry, he just wanted sleep.

So, without changing out of his school clothes, he slept.