Archive of Our Own ^beta

She’s not dumb, really. She’s actually been called a genius, multiple times by very smart people. But ever since this whole gay thing got started, she’s been noticing some concerning signs. Yes, yes, she’s been seeing a therapist and that’s really helped her with the whole being honest with herself thing, but geez, being hyper self-aware is kind of the worst.

She’s really dumb around pretty women. 

That’s the issue here. Like, starkly bad ideas pop into her head and then she just sorta acts on them? Like an idiot. 

She invites Sam over for the start of Hannukah. Yes, Sam with the pretty eyes and wonderful laugh and ridiculous intelligence, that Sam. Well, technically, it's Eliza inviting Sam over through Alex, but the result is the same. 

Alex is royally fucked.

Ruby seems to know, too, which is abysmally unfortunate. "Hey, Alex, what does real mistletoe look like?" Trouble, it seems to surround her. 

Sam keeps smiling too, which is great , really because Sam has had a hard year but also not great because her heart keeps doing that annoying stuttering thing and Kara's starting to get suspicious. Sam just has nice eyes, and hair, and a face, and like amazing humor. And she's really smart. She's a good person too. There's really not much to not like about Sam. 

She's sitting outside, on the porch swing with hot cider and a blanket and contemplating the snow when Sam joins her. She's got these little freckles on her neck. Sam slips under the blanket with her and steals her cider. There's a small rollercoaster in her stomach. She doesn't say anything and they just watch the snow fall. 

Or well, she watches Sam watch the snow fall, but secretively, like an Agent. 

It’s cold out, but Sam is as warm as Kara usually is, so she’s practically got a thermal blanket. Sam’s got really nice ears too. Nice everything, but like, particularly nice ears. Biologically perfect, probably. 

Sam laces their fingers together under the blanket and there’s a whole trumpet section in her chest. That’s not good, right? She’s not a cardiovascular doctor, but that definitely seems not good. Violins would be fine, but trumpets are the harold of doom. 

Sam tugs on her hand and she’s so warm and her hand is so soft and her face is smiling. It’s such a good smile. Her eyes are the true biological miracle. There’s the meaning of life, to produce such perfect eyes that one could careen into their depths like a diver into a cave. 

The blanket slides off of them and Sam tugs again, from the porch, and there’s this niggling in the back of her head. Like, there’s food and people and schnapps in the house behind her and idiot keeps bouncing around her skull. Sam raises an eyebrow though and then she’s just vaulting into the snow.

Which is a terrible idea. Wherever Sam could possibly be leading her, with their hands clasped and sparkling snow stuck in her gorgeous hair, is bound to end badly. Their shoes crunch through the snow and it’d be absolutely silent if there wasn’t a choir of angels lounging on Sam’s shoulders.And the trumpets in her chest. They weren’t even using those silencer thingys that go in the front of the trumpet. 

Rude.

Her breathes puff out in front of her, little clouds for the dumb daydreams she’s got sprialing in her head. Sam squeezes her hand and drags her up a hill. These clouds are getting ridiculous. She’s hit a dang fog bank. Good thing Sam is so bright, even in the quickly darkening woods around them. Bad idea, #402.

They come to a clearing with lights strung between the trees. Someone's driving F-150s into her ribs. She's going to have terrible bruises.

Sam pulls her into the clearing and if she wasn't having difficulty breathing from the trudge through the snow, she's got new and dumber reasons to lose her breath. There's a whoosh above her but Sam is smiling. She glances up and oh no. Sam's smile keeps growing.

Global warming must really be active this year.

"I think you've wanted to ask me out for a while now." Sam steps forward and there's music coming through the trees. Oh god, she's started hallucinating. Her hallucination has the same scratch that Kara's speaker has too. "I kept waiting, then I thought you'd gotten cold feet."

Sam holds their clasped hands up and she's got really long fingers and really soft hands and Sam's other hand is on her hip so she must legitimately be hallucinating. She's pushed back and her feet nearly slip out from under her. The hand on her hip scoops her against Sam and yeah, she's dead. That's what's happened. That explains everything. 

"But your heart always does that when you see me." Sam's still smiling and pulls her along for a step. It's not really dancing, Sam's really doing all the work. She'd help, but unfortunately her legs are filled to the brim with gelatin. 

There's multiple curves against the outside of her jacket because Sam only has a turtleneck on. She's never hated a jacket more. Sam drags her another step and her legs start working again. Or mostly working, she steps on Sam's foot and Sam throws her head back in laughter.

So this is hell.

Sam kisses her and her legs give out. Sam follows her descent, warm knees bracketing her thighs, warm hands on her cheeks. Sam keeps laughing with little puffs blowing across her lips. It's really distracting. 

She's got, like, so much kissing to do. It's a moral imperative before this hallucination ends. Sam is soft and she stops laughing when Alex cups the back of her head and pulls them together again.

The snow continues to fall and the trumpets in her chest dull to strings to nothing. The static from the music fades out and there's just a silence washing in around them. 

Sam is warm pressed against her front but her ears are cold. She doesn't start to shiver until the snow bleeds through her pants. Then Sam pulls away, looking dazed and so, so beautiful. 

"You're so smart but you're an idiot." 

"I know, my therapist told me." 

Sam laughs again and she's going to need to keep making Sam laugh because that's a wonderful thing. "Come on, lets get you inside." 

She threads their fingers together and Sam smiles and everything's kind of looking up. Maybe the new year will be pretty good. 

"We'll have to get you out of those clothes too." 

What?

Sam winks and wow. Wowzers. Wowie. Those trumpets in her chest are back again.

"So, did it work?"

Kara shakes the snow from her shoulders and grimaces. "Uh yeah, it worked."

Ruby grins and then frowns. "What's that face for?"

Eliza laughs and pats Ruby's shoulder. "The mistletoe probably worked too well."

Kara blows out a breath and nods. 

"So," Dr. Sanchez tapped her notepad. "You made another dumb decision and almost got hypothermia."

"I mean, it was like not even mild frostbite."

"Mhmm, frostbite." She scritched something down onto her notepad.

"Seriously, my legs were only a little blue!" 

There was a smile working it's way onto her lips. "Mhmm, congratulations Alex."

Alex went beat red and Dr. Sanchez laughed. 

Sam kissed the pout off Alex's face later though, so overall the day was a win. Ruby keeps taping mistletoe to the ceiling and they don't have any ladders. They should probably talk to her about using her powers like that. Just as soon as Sam was done kissing her.