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Chapter Text

I gazed at the pale yellow flowers of the Arjun tree as I thought of his name.

It suddenly struck me. Arjun? The pure and sinless one.It seemed perfect, like him.

Arjun was my delight in the truest sense. He was my Parth.

Perfection was something he learnt very early in life. Even the first time he released his arrow. It flew straight to the centre of the mark.

I was immersed in these thoughts as he stood tugging at my saree and trying to say something. His attempts to make me move made me smile. All of a sudden he looked up at me with his mischievous grin. He’d taken up moving me as a challenge. He started tickling me and didn’t stop till I picked him up. This, apparently was what he wanted, because he seemed satisfied and went off to sleep.

He was the most cheerful of the five children.

Yudhishtir was calm, composed and intelligent. Bheem was a happy-go-lucky child who was unconcerned about the consequences of what he did. Nakul and Sahadev were little babies who replaced their brothers’ toys.

Arjun looked up as I entered the cottage.

“Mata, where has Pitashree gone?” he asked.

“To God’s house.” I replied, fearing his next question.

“But Ma, Bhrata Bheem was crying. When is Pitashree coming back? He’ll come back by tomorrow, won’t he? We’re going to start new lessons tomorrow!” He gasped for breath after he’d recited his long list of questions.

“Arjun, come have your food”

“But Ma..”

“Come have your food. Now.” I served him the food while my hands shook.

“Ma! Pitashree’s back!” Arjun squealed as Yudhishtir came in. How tall Yudhishtir looked; almost as tall as Maharaj Pandu.”Oh,it’s you, Jyeshth. I thought it was Pitashree…”

Yudhishtir threw me a look that said, “Doesn’t he know?”

“Arjun, Pitashree is not coming back” Yudhishtir said, kindly.”

“But Ma said he’s gone to God’s house. He’ll come back. Don’t worry.”

“No. No. Arjun look at me, you need to understand. Pitashree’s not coming back. He’s dead.”

“Dead? But Ma? Dead means…” Arjun said, tears welling up in his eyes.

That was the first time I saw my Arjun cry. He cried himself to sleep that night.

He would not allow any of us to go near him. He refused to eat the next day and refused to touch his weapons for several days that followed.

It reduced me to tears several times, seeing Arjun wandering off into the huge gardens and well-kept lawns of Hastinapur’s Royal Palace, alone, without his father holding his hand.

He returned with swollen eyes.

The others had got accustomed to their new life. It would take Arjun longer, he had been so close to Pandu.

***

“Arjun, come with me.” Said Bhishm, walking towards a locked part of the garden.

“Pitamaha? Wait, I’m coming.” Arjun followed Bhishm inside the garden.

“Pandu’s favorite place.” He said. Arjun turned to go, but a firm hand on his shoulder restrained him.

“No, child. Not today. I know you’re young, you don’t understand, but..”

“I do.”

“You do what?”

“I understand. Pitashree said that when I’m 5, I’m a big boy. And I’m 5 years and 8 days. So, I understand.” Arjun said, indignantly.

“I see.” Bhishm smothered a smile. “Do you know something else? Your father was very proud of you. He wrote to me about you.”

“He wrote about me?” Arjun asked, his eyes shining. He respected and adored his father, evidently.

“Yes, about you. Remember, he’s never gone. He lives with you. In you. Arjun, don’t leave your weapons. They need you, and you need them too.It might seem very dark right now, but you have enough fire in yourself to make everything bright.”

Much to Bhishm’s surprise, Arjun hugged him. “I’ll always be there for you, little Kounteya.” He said, his voice shaking.

Chapter Text

“…..Then he came and pulled out the ball using the rope of twigs he had made. It was so so long, you know Ma. I want to shoot so well, too” Finished Arjun.

Pitamaha had told me. Guru Dronacharya had come, he wanted to train the Kuru Princes. It was he who had pulled out their ball from the well using a rope of twigs that he made by shooting them one after another. Arjun was in awe of the Guru, and very excited to learn.

I heard about how Arjun had acquired various Astras by passing the tests set by Guru Drona. My eyes filled with tears of joy. I remembered everything about the baby Arjun. His bright, intelligent eyes; his dark, dusky hue; soft, curly black hair and enchanting smile. But thinking of him as a baby made me sad, because he was a young man now. It startled me. It felt like yesterday that I looked past him at my favourite flowers, those of the Arjun tree and named him.

Guru Drona asking for Ekalavya’s thumb as Gurudakshina horrified me. Arjun believed it was because of him. He had been surprised that someone was as good as him, until now, he had had no competition. He told me all this, a few days back. But Arjun was not one to ponder over useless things. It was a momentary insecurity that merely made him work harder.

But yesterday, a shaken Bheem told me about the incident. I knew what Arjun must be thinking. I went to him. Explained that he could not have been the reason for this. It was only when Guru Drona himself came and told him that he had nothing to do with the incident, that he calmed down.

Sinless. Days would turn into years, even the kindest could turn cruel, anything could happen, but my Arjun’s gentle, pure nature would never change. It would remain constant, defying the statement “Change is the only constant”.

My hands trembled as they rose in blessing. How they had changed! Yudhishtir had become more serious. Bheem, to my surprise had become mature. The twins had learnt everything they could. Arjun had become more silent.

The Kuru Tournament was declared open. Citizens flocked in to see the Princes.

Karn challenged Arjun to a duel. I was not scared for either. I knew they were capable enough to handle themselves.

Karn… I had missed him. But I had always known that he was fine, with a wonderful family.

I was sorry for abandoning him, at the same time, I could not help admire the tricks of fate. Karn, who was abandoned, was raised by loving parents and siblings. The five Pandavs, who could have had everything, lost it along with their father. Yudhishtir and Bheem had had to grow up far too fast. I would not be wrong if I said, even today Arjun cried for his father. The twins, they had lost both their parents. Yet, if the truth arose, Karn would be favoured as underprivileged. The irony of it all made me smile.

I jerked myself back to present. Pitamaha was gesturing to me to stop the duel. I did not want it, either. No, the brothers should never become enemies. I feigned unconsciousness.

The Palace at Varnavat was magnificent. But we were not to enjoy it. We were always on our guard. Yudhishtir had understood Vidur’s warning. The Palace was going to be set on fire, by Duryodhan, Shakuni, and… Karn.

Instead we dug a tunnel, set fire to the Palace a day before planned and escaped. Bheem killed several Rakshasas, including Hidimb.

We disguised ourselves as Brahmins in search of alms.We took shelter in a potter’s house in Ekachakra. Bheem freed the people from the tyranny of Bakasur by killing him. With this identity, we spent many days.