Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rey lets her hand fall safely out the passenger side window, allowing wind to slip and slide between her fingers. 

It’s almost as if she’s flying.  

Daring to go further, Rey leans her head partially outside too, causing her hair to blow wildly against her face. This. This is something she missed. Riding in a car without a care in the world, breeze running through her hair. She closes her eyes and just lets herself be.      

Her mom says something Rey can’t make out through the sound of the wind roaring in her ears, so she reluctantly leans back into her seat and rolls up the window.   

“Hmm?”

“I said, It’s surreal that you’re sitting here right now. You’ve been gone for so long, I keep having to look at you to remember that you’re home. That you’re actually here.”

Rey smiles, reaching over to grab her mother’s right hand and giving it a tight squeeze.

Without the breeze from the open window, the temperature of the car starts to get unbearably hot. Rey ties her hair up into a messy bun and angles the air conditioning vents directly in front of her, attempting to cool herself down. 

“Sorry,” her mom apologizes, tilting her own air vents in Rey’s direction as well. “I know. It’s so bad. We’re about to get the car looked at. Along with the vents, the brake has been stopping weird.” 

Rey looks over at her mom, who’s just beginning to turn off the main highway. They’ll be home soon.

Home, she thinks, looking out at the familiar scenery. Finally.

Rey would never admit it — not with the huge fuss she made about getting out of here and moving up north for college — but she misses her small town life. 

She misses people holding the door open for her when she goes to the supermarket. She misses going for runs in her neighborhood. Misses waving at the dog walkers and cars that pass by. Misses having them wave back. She even misses the little mundane tidbits of life that aren’t significant enough to fit into the twenty minute weekly phone calls with her parents. The car needs to go to the shop. She would never have known.     

“Speaking of, uh, heat,” her mom begins, taking her eyes off the road to focus on Rey. She narrows in on the gland that rests on the back of her daughter’s neck. “How, um. How are you feeling? Are the suppressants strong enough?”

Oof. This she does not miss. It is sweet, the way that both her beta parents try to understand. The way they care.

But it’s so awkward.

“I’m fine, mom,” Rey says quickly, ready for the subject to change. “I have a few alpha friends and they can hardly even smell me. You don’t have to worry.”

Mom quirks one of her eyebrows.

“Alpha friends?”

Rey’s face turns bright red. 

“Yes. Friends. Alphas and omegas can be friends.” 

“Okay, okay. I get it. No secret college boyfriend, then?”

“No secret college boyfriend,” she says to her mom, who’s demeanor not-so-subtly deflates a bit at the confirmation. 

And who could blame her, as alphas and omegas are so rare these days. The woman eventually wants grandkids, a fact she’s made abundantly clear over the years. Rey was never interested in any of the guys from her hometown, no matter their designation, so it’s sort of expected of her to find someone at school. Too bad. There’s been no time, with her heavy course load and her swim practices. 

“Well,” her mom begins, attempting to change the subject. “Maybe some of your friends can come and visit over the summer. Didn’t you say Kaydel lives a couple hours north of here?”

Rey nods, thinking about how much she already misses her roommate.  

“Finn’s close too. And I think Poe’s not too far. He’s on the east coast, at least. Yeah, mom. Wow. That would be fun.”

“We’ll have to plan for it.”

Just then Rey’s neighborhood comes into view, and she almost sighs from relief. The manicured lawns and white picket fences bring her a level of comfort she’d never have expected before leaving. The many rows of standard brick houses used to make her cringe. Out of what, she’s not sure. Maybe their uniformity? But now, well. Now Rey looks around, and all she feels is comfort. These are the streets where she learned to ride a bike. Where she had her first kiss. Where she broke her first bone. 

This is home. 

She doesn’t want to even think about having to leave when summer ends. That’s her future. This is her now. She is home, and she should enjoy it. Worrying is for later.

Her mom pulls into the driveway, and Rey’s already out the door before her mom puts the car in park.

She runs into her front yard, immediately falling into the plush grass and rolling around like a child. It reminds her of the early autumns of her childhood, when her dad would rake up leaf piles for her to jump in. It reminds her of the late winters, when she’d make angels in the freshly fallen snow.

It’s obviously been a few weeks since anyone’s mowed the lawn. Rey flips onto her stomach, kicking her shoes off and feeling the long blades of grass between her toes. The sun shines down on her as she lays there, breeze blowing swiftly, without a care in the world.  

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you are nearly twenty, correct? As in, old enough to carry in your own luggage?” 

Rey looks back over her shoulder to find her mother beginning to unload her suitcases out of the trunk. 

“Be there in a sec,” she yells, taking another look around the yard. She spots a group of wild dandelions, and before she knows it, she’s reached over and plucked one from the ground. 

Rey doesn’t have to think about it at all. She knows what she wants.  

I wish for a life-changing summer, she silently pronounces to the universe, eyes squeezed tightly shut, before blowing the seeds into the air. She watches them fly away, imagines they are tiny helicopters tasked with fulfilling all her dreams and desires.

There’s another significant breeze that makes Rey’s skin prickle goosebumps. But it’s more than that, somehow. She can feel it all around her, feel it stronger than she could even begin to understand. Her wish will come true. She knows it.

Rey sits alone on the front porch, book in hand. Her chilled glass of lemonade rests next to her, the condensation leaving temporary rings on the surface of the wooden table. 

Fully engrossed in the story she’s reading, Rey flips to the next page. She’d been too busy over the course of the school year to read for fun, and has a full stack of titles she will attempt to devour over the next few months.

This one's a mystery novel. Rey’s tense, reading about how the novel’s main character is about to sneak into the suspect’s house, when, out of nowhere, a loud sputtering sound rings through the air. 

Rey jumps out of her seat, knocking over the glass of lemonade in the process. She looks around, trying to uncover what the noise could’ve been. 

Oh. It’s her neighbor’s sprinklers. Shhh-chk-chk-chk, she hears again, as another set springs to life.

For a few moments, Rey returns to her book, undeterred. But after another minute she stills, racing back inside to where her mother stands in the kitchen.

“Didn’t the Robertsons’ move?” Rey asks, puzzled. “Because I just saw the sprinklers go off in front of their old house. Somebody’s gotta fix that.”

Her mom nods as she slices up a bell pepper. 

“Yeah, they moved. But we have new neighbors already.” 

This is news to Rey.

“We do?”

“Just got in last week. A single dad and his son. The man’s a professor at Chandrila University. He’s nice. I invited him over for dinner tonight.” 

“You did what?!”

Her mom sighs. 

“Rey, the man’s raising a kid all by himself. He just moved into a new house. This is the least we can do. I know it’s your first night home, but this was the only time Mr. Solo said he was free. I think most nights he’s teaching summer classes at the university or something.”

Rey’s not mad, she just wishes she could’ve had more of a heads up. She looks down at the comfortable clothes she’s wearing, and realizes she should probably make more of an effort than sweatpants. 

“I’ll go get ready, then.”

Her mom smiles, heading over to set the table, as Rey bounds up the staircase two steps at a time, beelining for the shower. She needs to wash the airplane smell off of her anyway. 

As she undresses, Rey allows her eyes to wander over her body in the bathroom mirror. Her narrow shoulders, slim waist. Tiny breasts. 

She brings her hands up to lightly trace her mating gland. It throbs under her touch, proudly jutting out from her skin. Rey shivers, closing her eyes as she lightly presses down. 

If it feels this good when she touches it, she can’t imagine what it will feel like whenever somebody else finally does. 

She sighs before moving the shower curtain out of the way and stepping underneath the steady stream, watching her reflection disappear as heat fogs up the mirror.   

Rey’s making her way down the stairs when she hears the doorbell ring.

“Can you get that sweetie?” her mom yells from the kitchen. “We’re finishing up in here.” 

“Got it,” she responds, smoothing down her sundress and fixing her hair.

Rey opens the door, and, oh.

She finds herself standing in front of the most handsome man she’s ever seen — the most delicious smelling alpha she’s ever encountered in her life. Her knees begin to wobble, and she has to steady herself against the doorframe in fear of falling over. 

The man’s holding a baby in one hand and a high chair in the other. Mr. Solo, she remembers. Single dad. College professor. Alpha.   

Rey is — she’s broken. She must be. She can’t hear or see anything that isn’t this man. She’s never smelled anything like him. She wants to drown in it. In him. She’s never wanted anything more. Rey’s in a daze. A trance. Drunk on his scent.

But the baby boy in his arms seems to be oblivious to whatever’s just conspired. He giggles, knocking Rey back into reality, and forcing her to perform as a regularly functioning human. She suddenly remembers where she is, and just how long she’s been staring at this man without saying anything. Fuck. How embarrassing.

The man in question is looking at her like a deer looks into headlights, his pupils heavily dilated as he subtly sniffs the air. He’s looking at her like she’s the answer to a question he didn’t even know he was asking.

“Hi. I’m Rey,” she finds the strength to say.

The man blinks a few times, tearing his gaze away from her neck and back up to her eyes. 

“Ben,” he says in a deep voice, one she could listen to for hours. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” 

She moves out of the way and ushers him inside, stomach fluttering from only this one interaction alone. How will she make it through dinner? 

“Ben!” Rey’s dad announces as he makes his way over. “Great to meet you, man!” He holds out his hand to shake, before noticing that both of Ben’s are already full. Ben frantically sets the high chair down before returning the gesture. 

“Thanks for having me. Hope it’s not a problem that I brought Benji along. I tried to get a sitter, but she canceled on me last minute.”

“Nonsense. We’re thrilled! Isn’t that right, Rey?”

Ben’s eyes center in on her as she finds the courage to nod her head yes.

“Splendid! Now, let’s head into the dining room. Amy made her famous casserole, and you’re going to love how—” 

Rey watches Ben and her father make their way through the house before she races up the stairs. She sprints into her bathroom and grabs the bottle of suppressants that she keeps on the top shelf of her cabinet. 

As she unscrews the lid, Rey takes a deep sigh. She’s not really supposed to take more than one a day, but this is an emergency. Rey pops another in her mouth, swallowing it back with a handful of sink water from the faucet. Here’s hoping, she prays to whoever’s listening.

“How are you liking the neighborhood?”

Ben smiles while feeding his son a spoonful of what looks to be pureed peas.

“It’s nice. Quaint. Perfect place for Benji to grow up. It’s why I moved over here, actually.” 

Benji begins to clap, causing everyone at the table to laugh. He then looks right at Rey and waves. Rey smiles, laughs again, and waves back.

“He’s adorable, Ben,” Rey’s mother says.

“Aw, thanks. I happen to think so too.”

“Is he enrolled in daycare? I know that you’re busy teaching summer classes.”

Ben sets down the baby spoon and shakes his head. 

“I tried, but the wait list is years long. Basically, if I wanted to have him in daycare, I should’ve put him on the list before I even knew he existed. It’s ridiculous.”

Rey watches as Benji picks up the tiny spoon and begins to suck on it. She smiles. The kid is really cute.

“So where does Benji go when you’re at work?”

Ben lets out a deep sigh. “Right now I’ve been cycling between a group of sitters. It’s not ideal, as their schedules change every week, but somehow I’ve been able to make it work. It’s been stressful, though. Both responsibilities. I not only have to care for and worry about this little one, but I also have to make sure I’m teaching my students to the best of my ability.” 

It’s not fair, Rey thinks, watching Ben talk to her parents. His students are so lucky. None of her professors look anything like Ben. Maybe if they did she’d pay more attention. Who am I kidding, she thinks. He’d be a distraction more than anything. God, he smells so good. Even after the extra suppressant she took. Ben teaches at Chandrila University, a school that Rey was accepted to but eventually decided against attending. What if she had gone there? What if she’d been in his class? Rey drifts off into the fantasy, completely losing track of the conversation at the dinner table. 

“Isn’t that right, Rey?”

She snaps out of her reverie to find everyone’s eyes on her.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sure.” 

Rey hadn’t been paying attention, but figures that she couldn’t have missed much.

“Yay! Now, I’ll be right back. Time for dessert!”

Mom leaves the dining room in a hurry, when, out of nowhere, Benji starts to wail.

“Oh no,” Ben sighs as he maneuvers his son against his chest, starting to lightly burp him. “Sorry. It’s past his bedtime.” Ben moves to stand just as Benji decides to throw up all over his dad’s nice button-up shirt. 

“Well. I suppose I was asking for that, huh?”

Rey isn’t sure what to do, so she just laughs. 

“Here,” she finally says, getting up from the table and making her way over to him. “Let me have Benji. There’s a bathroom right at the top of the stairs. You can clean up there.” 

Ben wordlessly transfers his crying son into Rey’s arms, brushing his hands against hers in the process. A spike of pheromones lights up in the air between them, and Rey blushes.

“Thank you,” he says, meeting her eyes in a way that makes her heart melt, before heading in the direction she pointed out.   

“Alright, let’s go buddy.” 

Rey holds Benji tight, moving into the living room to sit on the couch. She nestles the child against her chest, bringing her hand up and down his back in an attempt to soothe him. She expects this to take a while, with everything she’s heard about babies, but it works almost instantly. In fact, Benji even begins to coo pleasantly. It can’t be this easy, she thinks, dumbfounded. This has to be a fluke. Right? Benji calmly lays his head against her shoulder. Something inside Rey’s heart swoons. She leans down and presses a gentle kiss atop his head.

“You’re a sweet one, aren’t you?” She whispers against him.

“He really is.”

Rey looks up to find Ben standing in the doorway. 

“Do you have some kind of magic touch?” He asks, moving closer to where Rey sits with Benji on the couch. “It usually takes me an hour to calm him down.”

 Rey shrugs nervously. 

“All I did was hold him.” 

Ben sits down next to Rey, close enough for his leg to accidentally brush up against her own. 

“Were you being serious earlier?” he asks softly. 

Rey racks her brain to try and figure out what he’s alluding to, but she comes up short. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, are you serious about becoming Benji’s full-time babysitter? Because I’m serious about wanting you to be. Look at him. Benji’s never this calm.”

Rey chokes on nothing. This must have been what she missed at the dinner table. Well, shit. 

She clears her throat, attempting to come up with some sort of answer. There’s no way she can say yes, right? With the way she’s attracted to him, the magical way he smells. It’s unprofessional. 

But Rey looks over at Ben — looks over at the big, strong alpha who needs her, who wants her — and everything in her body compels her to please him. 

She wouldn’t be able to say no if she tried.

Chapter Text

Ben stands in front of his living room window, looking out as the sun breaks through the early morning sky and paints his new neighborhood in a dusty peach glow. The softest shades of orange and pink. 

He nestles his son against his chest, holding him securely with one hand and using the other to sip on his coffee. Benji stays relatively still against him, quiet yet alert as he grabs onto his dad’s knit sweater.

It feels as though they are the only living things awake. If it weren’t for the birds he hears chirping, he might even believe it to be true.

Everything is calm and still and serene until it isn’t anymore.  

Ben hears the distinct sound of footsteps crunching on gravel from the next yard over. He tilts his head to find none other than her. The girl. 

The one who haunted his dreams last night. The one who smells better than any other omega he’s ever encountered in his life. The one he just hired to be Benji’s full-time babysitter.  

Rey.

She walks to the front of her driveway, stopping right as she gets to the mailbox, before bending over to touch her toes. Dressed in nothing but a sports bra and spandex shorts, it’s evident that she’s headed out for a run.   

Ben takes a deep breath. He may not be able to smell her through the window, but the memory of her scent alone is enough to send his head spinning. 

It’s torturous, the way she lunges. The way she stretches. So flexible. With all that skin on display. Her little waist would fit so perfectly in his hands. Ben has to set his coffee mug down on the side table and hold onto the chair in front of him, feeling faint all of the sudden. 

Rey’s hair is pulled up and out of her face. It’s almost too far away to make out, but if he squints, Ben can see the gland on the back of her neck.

She’s perfect. So tiny and supple. Beautiful. Everything he’s ever wanted. The omega of his dreams.

It’s the most particular kind of pain, isn’t it? To be just in reach of everything you could ever want, but unable to make it yours.   

Ben has no problem with their age difference. It’s not even all that taboo. Certainly not for alpha-omega couples. 

He wishes they met somewhere else. 

At an art museum. The gym. Standing in line at a cafe. Hell, even if she’d been his student.

But no. She’s his nineteen-year-old neighbor who lives with her parents and is now the caretaker of his child.

He couldn’t possibly. 

Ben sighs, watching Rey take off on her run and disappear from his view. She’s coming over around lunchtime to talk about the logistics of her new job, and then her first day will be Monday. 

This is a dangerous game he’s playing. He knows this. 

Having her in his house all the time. Around his kid. It’ll almost be too good to be true. The closest thing he can get to her being his omega without pursuing her, without throwing all caution into the wind and biting down hard on her mating gland. Binding her to him forever.  

But he won’t scare her away. He can’t. It’s the hardest balance to find. He needs her in his life, but he refuses to let her think he’s a creep.  

As much as it’ll hurt to keep his distance, it’s what he has to do.

She can play house all day, and he will learn to live with only getting this much of her. 

He will. 

It will be fine. He’ll keep it professional. He has to. It just wasn’t meant to be. 

Still, he thinks, walking back into the kitchen to pour himself another cup of coffee. Nothing has ever smelled as good as she does. 

That has to mean something.              

Rey jumps atop her bed, not even caring about all the sweat she’ll leave behind on her sheets. Right now all she cares about is catching her breath.

She needed to let out some steam. A run seemed like the most practical outlet.

Now she realizes that there may be no easy cure to the way that she’s feeling. 

Rey’s had crushes before. Infatuations. Even derived extensive fantasies. But she’s never experienced anything like the way her body is responding to Ben Solo. 

He hasn’t left her mind since the moment she first saw him. It’s like he’s rooted his way inside of her. Taken up permanent residence.  

Her mind is telling her...crazy things. She doesn’t believe any of them — she isn’t going to follow through with any of them — but there’s no way for her to stop them.

Give in, she hears a voice plead through the back of her mind. Give yourself to him. Everything. Give everything to him, and never look back. 

Rey shudders, again picturing the two of them together in a huge, plush bed. They’re mated, of course. He’s locked inside of her, holding her as close as he can. 

This is what she dreamed about all night long. 

Frustrated beyond belief, Rey finally inches a couple of her fingers down into her underwear.

This is it, she tells herself, circling her clit in the way she likes. Feeling slick drip out of her and onto her messy sheets. This is the last time.  

Rey sighs. It’s useless to lie to herself in this way.  

She wants him. Rey has never wanted anything more.  

But there’s no way Ben could ever feel the same. He probably sees her as some little kid. It’s embarrassing to even think about, knowing how impossible it is. Being his mate. 

Rey needs to get a grip. As soon as she finishes up here, she’s going to take two more suppressants and then call her doctor. Maybe, if she explains what’s going on, they’ll prescribe a stronger dose. That’ll fix everything. 

It will have to.     

Rey shakes away all her nerves before pressing down on the doorbell. 

She’s freshly showered, and even though she told herself it doesn’t matter what she wears around Ben, she found herself throwing on one of her nicest sundresses anyway. 

She really needs to get a grip.

Rey takes a deep breath as the door opens, bearing herself, trying to prepare, but it’s no use. She’s already drowning in him again.

“Good afternoon, Rey,” Ben says in that perfect voice she’ll never get over. “Come on in. Benji’s in the living room.”

“Thanks, Mr. Solo. Good afternoon to you too.” 

Rey remembers the layout of the house from when she’d come over to have dinner with the Robertson family, so she finds Benji rather quickly. He’s sitting inside a colorful playpen on the floor, chewing on the tail of what looks to be a stuffed whale. 

Ben enters the room from behind her and clears his throat. 

“Have you had lunch? I was just about to make a grilled cheese sandwich. I could make you one too, if you’d like.”

Rey smiles politely, but shakes her head.

“Oh, no thank you. I’m alright. I’ll probably just make a Hot Pocket or something when I get home.”

“Nonsense,” Ben says, sternly but not unkindly. “It would be no trouble at all.”

Rey pauses, looking over at Benji who instinctively reaches for her. She picks him up and holds the child close to her chest before answering. 

“Okay then. I’d love a grilled cheese. Thanks, Mr. Solo.”

She sees the tips of his ears go pink. “Please,” he insists. “Call me Ben.”

Rey nods, on the verge of a blush herself. “Right. Okay. Ben. Thank you.”

Before he heads into the kitchen, Ben focuses his gaze on the way Rey’s slowly bouncing his baby, on the way she holds Benji so carefully.

“No, Rey,” he says. “Thank you.” 

“I only have two conflicts.”

Rey puts the sandwich wedge back down on her plate, attempting to finish chewing before she finishes her thought. “This is delicious, by the way.”

Ben smiles as he feeds his son a spoonful of what looks to be either mashed sweet potatoes or carrots. Maybe both. 

“It’s the pepper jack. Life-changing, really.”

“No kidding.”

Ben chuckles, bringing his napkin to his face to wipe away the bread crumbs left over on his upper lip. “Also — you’re gonna be babysitting just about every weekday. Of course I’d expect a few conflicts. Do you have any idea when they’ll be so I can plan for them?”

Rey swallows.

“I have some friends coming to visit me in a little over a month, so I won’t be able to work for three days in late June.” 

Ben nods. 

“Easy enough. I’m sure I’ll be able to find somebody to cover for you. What else?”

Rey squirms in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable. This is the last thing she wants to bring up. The last thing she wants to say out loud. But he has to know. There’s no way she’ll be able to work through it.

“I, um. I will need the second week of August off. For my—it’s the, well. That’s when I’m scheduled to get my next heat.”

The room goes completely silent. 

Ben looks—unwell. It could be just her brain tricking her, but Rey’s fairly certain his pupils have dilated. He’s not speaking. He doesn’t even seem to be breathing, actually. You could hear a pin drop. 

Rey looks down at the napkin in her lap and wrings her hands with it, wishing she could disappear. Fuck. Why couldn’t she have lied, given any other excuse?  

“Right,” Ben says after many moments. “Of course. That will be fine.”

Rey exhales. 

“Oh. Good.”

She’s no longer hungry. Now, all Rey can think about is her upcoming heat. How she’ll have to suffer through it all alone, locked inside her bedroom. How much better it would be with this most perfect alpha. He would treat you so good, her inner voice insists. He would take such good care of you.

Ben swallows, the air surrounding them turning thick. He wisely chooses to change the subject. 

“How about I finish giving you a tour?”  

A pause. She tucks a couple pieces of hair behind her ear before scooting out of her chair. 

“I’d like that.” 

So he shows her around the downstairs area, introducing her to all of Benji’s favorite toys. He makes sure Rey understands the importance of Walter the stuffed whale — Benji’s best friend, she learns.

Ben then guides her up the stairs, directly turning the corner as they reach the top step. He stops in front of a door that’s halfway open.  

“This is the nursery.”

Rey peaks inside to find a fairly sparse room with a crib, a dresser, and a rocking chair. Ben ushers her in, showing her where the diapers are kept and exactly which books Benji prefers to have read at bedtime. 

“Goodnight Moon is a classic, but I’m partial to The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog.”

Rey laughs, causing Benji to imitate her. She’s holding him tightly in her arms, the boy giggling sweetly as he pulls on her hair. It would be cute if it weren’t so painful. He has a much tighter grip than she would have ever guessed. Pony tails from now on, she decides.      

“I haven’t gotten around to decorating just yet,” Ben continues. “I was thinking of painting something fun on the walls. I dunno.”

Rey grins, starting to nod her head profusely. 

“Ahhh! You have to! That sounds like so much fun. I’d love to help!”

“Yeah?” he asks, amused by her excitement. 

“Yes! Just imagine! There could be a rainbow right over here—” 

Rey points to the space above Benji’s circular window. 

“And we could paint the walls a pale blue color. It would be just like the sky. Ooo, with big, fluffy clouds all over, especially around his crib! What do you think?” 

Ben looks at Rey with an expression she isn’t even gonna attempt to decipher. All she knows is that it’s intense.

“I think,” he says, moving closer, “that sounds perfect. I love it. We’ll get to it right away.”

Rey beams.

“I can’t wait.”

And, Ben, well. He does this crooked sort of smile that leaves her weak in the knees. 

“Me either.” 

Benji cries for hours after Rey leaves.

Ben tries everything he can to calm his son down. A bottle. Swaddling. Playtime with Walter. But nothing works. 

Night eventually falls. He decides to put Benji down in the crib, and though it takes a while, sleep does finally take him. 

Wow. So. Benji’s already super attached to Rey. That was quick. But can he really blame him? Ben’s sorta going through the same thing, albeit less dramatically.

There’s nothing he wants more than for Rey to stay forever. Seeing her hold Benji, seeing her walk around inside his house — it felt so right. 

Ben scratches at his chin, feeling a teensy bit of stubble, and sighs. He should just go to sleep. This is all too much to deal with right now.   

He walks inside his room and slumps down on top of his bed. Shit. Even this feels bad. The master bedroom is so lonely with one person. Rey would fit perfectly beside him. There’s just the right amount of space for her.

Ben lays there for a few minutes before he notices something out of the corner of his eye. The blinds in his window are rolled up, and there’s a fairly distinct glow coming from the house next door. He shrugs himself up off the bed and moves to close the blinds — but stops fully in his tracks.

The light is coming from the window directly across from his own. There are no blinds in that window, however. Nope. Only thin, white curtains surrounded by dainty fairy lights. It’s ethereal. Enchanting. 

Could that be...Rey’s bedroom?

The thought hits him right before he sees her silhouette. Yes. It has to be, then. She’s still wearing the sundress from earlier. He can see her so clearly even through the curtain.

Ben moves closer to his window and places a steadying hand against the wall. Rey’s at her dresser, combing through her hair with a brush. She starts from the bottom and works her way up to the roots, detangling until her hair is silky smooth. 

Once finished, Rey places her brush back down on top of her dresser, lightly running her fingers through her hair, seemingly satisfied. 

She then opens up one of her drawers, pulling out a couple items of clothing he can’t make out, and places them down on her bed. 

Ben holds his breath. She’s getting ready for bed. He knows what is to come.

As if on cue, Rey reaches down to the bottom of her dress and pulls it up and over her head, leaving her in nothing but a tiny bralette and panties. 

Ben nearly comes on the spot. 

He’s so worked up, his cock throbbing against the seam of his pants. He quickly unzips them and pulls himself out of his boxer shorts, thinking of nothing but Rey’s perfect body. Rey’s perfect smell. Her laugh. 

Ben tries his hardest to focus on not popping a knot, but it’s likely a losing battle. It’s bound to happen. He’s gonna come, and he’s gonna pop a knot. Here, all alone. He continues to palm himself, careful to not even blink in fear of missing anything. 

Rey reaches both hands behind her back and unclasps her tiny little bra. Ben sees her nipples for the first time, and, oh. It’s euphoric. The choked sound he makes, the precum that leaks out of his tip. It must be cold in her room, with the way they protrude like that. Or maybe she’s horny. Fuck. 

He wants nothing more than to circle them with his fingers, to suck them into his mouth.    

He wants nothing more than to have all of her.

Rey bends a bit and steps out of her panties, throwing them in what he guesses is her dirty clothes basket. 

She’s now completely naked. 

Ben melts. He’s dizzy from lust, lost in her. He’s pumping his cock tirelessly now, manic, desperate for release. 

Rey walks over to the bed to pick up her sleep clothes, little perky breasts bouncing up and down, and he loses it. Ben comes harder than he ever has before, feeling his knot enlarge and pulse around nothing.

Rey walks to the other side of her room, now completely out of sight, before her lights turn off.

Ben lets out a long breath before falling against his bed. He’s never been with an omega before.

And now the most perfect one of all lives right next door.

He wants to be strong. He does.

But she’s making it so hard.

Chapter Text

Rey taps her fingers against the examination table. She fidgets nervously, feeling the uncomfortable way her legs stick to the thin paper. 

“So,” Doctor Kanata begins as she looks over Rey’s chart. “It says here that you feel as though you need a higher dose of suppressants. Any specific reason as to why? What you’re currently on is standard for omegas of your specific age and weight group.”

Rey gulps.

“I don’t think they’re working anymore,” she says. “I take them every morning, but I can still smell him. So clearly.” 

Doctor Kanata raises an eyebrow. 

“Him?”

“Oh, yes. Sorry. My new boss. He is an alpha.” 

“Ah.” 

Doctor Kanata swivels her chair closer to where Rey sits on the table. “And is this the first alpha you’ve ever been in contact with?” 

Rey shakes her head. “A couple of my friends are alphas, and it’s never been like this. I can smell them, sure, but it’s far more subdued. Normal. This, this is...like nothing else I’ve ever experienced.” 

There’s a pause as Doctor Kanata processes this. 

“And your boss. He’s on blockers, I assume. Right?”

Rey just about answers of course, because why wouldn’t he be, before she hesitates. Oh god. She has no idea.  

“I’ve actually never asked him,” Rey admits.

“Well,” her doctor says. “That may be a good thing to find out.”

Rey nods, face flushed. 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Doctor Kanata insists. “I get it. It’s an awkward conversation to have. Especially in a work environment. Most everyone’s on suppressants and blockers these days, so thankfully you never really have to have that conversation anymore. Well, unless...”

Rey finishes the sentence for her.

“Unless you have to.” 

Doctor Kanata nods sympathetically.

“Right. Unless you have to.”

Rey sighs. She already knows how awkward this is going to be. Ben was disgusted by her bringing up her heat. She can’t even imagine how he will respond to this. 

“So...what do I do now?” she asks. 

“Well, first you find out if he is on blockers or not. If he isn’t, then he will need to get on them. Pronto. If he is, well. Maybe then we can revisit the idea of me prescribing you a stronger dose.”  

Rey nods, and Doctor Kanata continues.

“I really am sorry, Rey. What an unfortunate situation. And with your boss. So unprofessional. What does he think is gonna happen?” The woman scoffs, turning away to write something down in Rey’s chart. 

Rey gives a half hearted laugh, but on the inside she’s dying. Because, well. She knows exactly what she wants to happen. She wants Ben to be hers in every single way. Mind, body, soul. 

But Ben doesn’t want that. Will never want that.  

So Rey plays along.

“Yes,” she manages to mutter. “Right. So unprofessional. That’s what it is. Mhm.”

She hopes it’s convincing, though Rey’s never been a good liar. So maybe she should just stop talking altogether. 

“Good morning,” Ben whispers as he opens the door, ushering Rey into the house. “I hope you slept well.”

No, actually, she thinks. I didn’t. Too busy worrying about how to ask if you — a thirty-year-old (ish) man whose profession quite literally requires him to be on the highest dose of blockers possible — even take them at all. Because, to me, it smells like you’ve never taken one a day in your life. No. I did not sleep well.  

“Yes,” Rey says instead. “Very well.” 

Ben smiles, oblivious to everything she’s juggling around in her brain. Rey smiles back, entranced.  

Because even though she wants to be frustrated, wants to be annoyed at the way he’s likely forcing her body to respond to him — she can’t seem to feel that way at all. He is just too handsome. Effortlessly. His hair is a mess, he could use a couple more hours of sleep, and his glasses are a bit crooked against his nose. The look shouldn’t be working for him, but it is. 

Rey just simply looks at him — and, of course, smells him, she can’t seem to stop smelling him — and everything else fades away instantly.   

She’s never been more attracted to a person. Ever.

“Good,” Ben finally says. He scratches the back of his head. “I, uh, made some coffee. It’s in the pot on the kitchen counter.” 

Rey nods, beginning to set her belongings down on the couch in the living room. “Is Benji still asleep?”

“Yeah. Should be up any minute. Before he wakes, though...” 

Ben gestures for her to meet him in the foyer. “I do have a few last minute things to show you.”

Rey follows him over to the front of his house and sees him point to a large box that’s resting against the wall. 

“It’s a car seat. I don’t think you’ll need it, but I figured in case of an emergency. You have a car, right?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Oh, good. Sometime soon we should install this in the backseat.”

“Sure.”

Ben leads her to the door that exits into the garage, opening it up just a crack and letting her peak inside. It’s the cleanest garage she’s ever seen in her life. His car takes up most of the space, but there’s also a couple shelves filled with tools.   

“Here’s where I keep the strollers. There’s also a wagon you can pull him around in, if you’re feeling up to that.”

Rey hums contently. 

“Maybe we’ll go for a walk later.”

Ben smiles, and dimples poke through his cheeks. 

“Benji would love that.”

He closes the door to the garage, shuffling her into the kitchen. 

“I left my number on the fridge. There’s an extra set of keys on the counter. Today is my 8am, but I also have meetings and office hours, so it’s likely I’ll be home around five. I bought groceries yesterday, so all of Benji’s favorites are fully stocked. You’re also welcome to help yourself to lunch.” He clears his throat. “Encouraged, actually.”  

Rey’s face flushes, but she nods her head in understanding. 

“Okay. What about dinner?”

Ben shrugs his briefcase over his shoulder, moves to pour some coffee into a to-go mug. 

“Oh. I’m making us dinner,” he says nonchalantly. Like this is something he does every night. 

“I’m sorry?”

“I—I mean, you don’t have to stay for dinner, I guess. But I hope you will. I’m gonna make something nice. As a thank you.”  

Rey’s speechless. She was asking for Benji. Not for her. She was just gonna heat up a frozen burrito when she got home. 

“Oh.” Her face flushes even more. 

“Oh?”

“I just wasn’t expecting that, is all. Thank you. That sounds lovely.”

Ben works his mouth in a funny way, like he’s trying to formulate a response. 

“Of course,” he says after a few moments. “Anytime. It’s my pleasure.”

And then they just stare at each other from across the kitchen island. It’s intense, the way he’s looking at her. Time stops. Rey has to remind herself to breathe.

“So,” Ben whispers, not breaking eye contact. “Do you have any questions? Anything at all? Even if it’s silly. There’s no such thing as a stupid question.” 

And Rey wants to die, because, actually, she does have a question. And it is stupid. And humiliating. And maybe, instead of asking it, she should just quit now. While she’s ahead. 

Ben notices her hesitation and begins to prompt her.

“No, really. I mean it. What’s on your mind, Rey?”

She exhales. Well. It does need to be addressed. The longer she avoids it, the more of a problem it will become. She can do this. Here goes nothing.

“OK. There is this one thing. I—”

Rey’s immediately cut off by the sound of someone screaming at the top of their lungs. She jumps, temporarily shaken and fearing the worst, before she realizes what has happened. 

It’s Benji. He’s just woken up. 

“Impressive, huh?” Ben jokes. “My guess is he’ll become an opera singer with that kind of breath support.”

Rey can’t even laugh at the lame joke. Her heart is beating out of her chest. She almost asked Ben if he’s on blockers. Out of nowhere. Holy fuck.  

“Well,” she manages to say, thankful that Benji interrupted her. “I guess we should go see him, huh?” 

Ben and Rey trek the short distance up the staircase and into the nursery. Benji’s sitting up in his crib, still screaming his head off. His cries were unbearable downstairs, and this close they’re even worse. But when Benji sees Rey enter his room — the screaming instantly ceases. The boy rubs at his eyes, and looks up at her with wonder. He even lets out a giggle as he reaches out his arms for her.  

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ben says, as Rey picks up his son and holds him close. 

“Good morning, sweetheart,” she whispers before she kisses the top of Benji’s head. Rey moves to set him down on the padded top of the dresser so she can change his diaper, and Ben follows her over there. 

“Anyway,” he starts, watching Rey and Benji interact with each other with a dazed kind of look on his face. “What was it that you were going to say? You know, before my son blew out our eardrums?” 

Rey throws the dirty diaper away, pretending to look deep in thought. Like she can’t be bothered to remember what it was she was about to say only a minute earlier. 

“Hmm.”

She dusts baby powder onto Benji’s lower half, trying her hardest to sell this farce. 

“Oh! I know.”

She turns to look at Ben now.

“I just wanted to wish you a good day. So. This is me doing that. I hope you have a good day, Ben.” 

She smiles, trying to make it look convincing, before itching the tip of her nose and returning to Benji. 

“That’s all?” Ben asks, moving closer to where she stands at the dresser. Her shoulder brushes up against his arm. 

“Well. Thank you.” 

He’s standing so close. He hasn’t been this close to her...maybe ever. Pheromones spark in the air between them. The tension is unbearable. 

Ever so slowly, Ben begins to move his hand delicately towards her face. Rey stops breathing. She’s not sure what he’s doing — maybe attempting to cradle her cheek in his palm, or trying to lovingly brush some hair out of her eyes, or something. 

Is this a moment? Are they having a moment? She waits with bated breath as his hand inches closer and closer, anticipation steadily growing, only for Ben to quickly wipe his thumb across her nose and instantly move his hand away. 

Oh. What? 

“You, uh. Had some baby powder right there,” he says. 

She blinks, coming back to herself. 

“Right. Thanks.”

Ben then leans down and kisses Benji on the cheek, before straightening the briefcase strap on his shoulder and making his way towards the nursery’s door. 

“Well, I really have to go. Can’t be late. I’ll see you both tonight. Have fun.”

He takes one last look at them before waving goodbye. 

A moment later she hears the garage door open and the sound of his car driving away.

“Well, Benji. I dunno about you,” she starts, finishing up his diaper. “But I think I deserve a Daytime Emmy for that performance. Wow.” 

And, even though it’s not possible he understands anything she’s just said, Benji claps. 

It’s a bit humid out, but Rey’s hardly bothered.

She’s decided to take Benji for a stroll around the neighborhood. They’re making their way around the block, with plans to stop and relax once they get to the duck pond at the end of the street. 

She’s pushing Benji in his bougiest stroller, a device that may even have more features than her car. There’s an adjustable handlebar. A UV 50+ canopy. High impact tires. And, Rey’s personal favorite feature, cupholders. So. Many. Cupholders.  

Benji’s living a life of luxury in this thing, snuggled up with a blanket and his best pal Walter the whale.

“How ya doin’ down there, kid?” she asks, moving her sunglasses out of the way to peer down at him.

He squeals happily, staring back up at her. 

“That’s what I like to hear.” 

She turns the stroller off the road and into the grassy area by the pond. Rey parks the device next to the picnic tables, before bending down to unbuckle Benji from his seat. 

“You wanna go see the ducks?”

Benji babbles something incoherently, drool dripping out the side of his mouth. 

“I’m going to take that as a yes. C’mon.” 

She picks Benji up and holds him close. Her hair is up in a ponytail, having learned her lesson from last time, but the boy still finds a way to tug on a few flyaway strands. Rey walks over the edge of the pond before she plops down in the grass, maneuvering Benji to sit inside her lap.

“Now,” she says, pointing out into the pond. “Do you see that, Benji? That big bird way over there isn’t a duck. That one is a goose. We stay away from them. They make mean noises when you get too close.” 

Benji looks up in awe at the way Rey points to the waterfowl. 

“But this guy, this little one right here,” She points to the tiny bird swimming close to where they sit. “This one is a duck. In fact, he’s a little baby. Just like you. A duckling.”

Benji blinks, looking back and forth between Rey and the little bird.

“Isn’t he cute?” she whispers.  

Benji, in imitation of Rey, extends his pointer finger out toward the little duckling, babbling nonsense. Rey nods her head, pretending to understand him. 

“Oh yes. Definitely. You know, his mama can’t be that far off. I doubt she’d let her little duck go off too far without her.” 

Rey kisses the top of Benji’s head. 

“Look, there she is now. Swimming over to him.” 

Benji giggles, continuing to point to the birds in delight. 

A faint breeze blows against the two of them, swaying the tall grass and leaving behind ripples in the water. It’s mid-afternoon. Perhaps they’ll sit here together for a few minutes more before heading back home. 

The sun hangs high, and there isn’t a single cloud in sight. Rey looks down at the baby in her lap, and for the first time in a couple days, feels perfectly at peace. 

Rey and Benji are playing in the front lawn of Ben’s house, sitting on a large picnic blanket, when Ben finally gets home.

Rey’s heart flutters the moment she sees his car pull up the driveway. Her and Benji wave as he drives by and parks his car inside the garage. 

“Look, Benji,” Rey says, as Ben walks over to where they sit together. “Daddy’s home.” 

Ben stutters in his movements when he hears that — blinking down at the pair of them. 

“Mmhm,” he says, reaching down to pick Benji up and plant a kiss against his cheek. “Thank god.”

Rey pulls her legs to her chest, gesturing for Ben to sit down with her on the grass. “How was your day?” she asks. 

Ben groans. 

“Busy. Tiring. Glad it’s over.” 

Rey nods understandingly. 

“What is it that you teach again?”

“A few different classes. Today was American Literature. We’re reading Sula right now. Daisy Miller is next.” 

Rey nods, impressed. 

“Both classics. Both not read nearly enough.” 

Ben smiles. 

“That’s the point. I’m tired of teaching Gatsby and Scarlet Letter. They’re overdone. Everyone read them in high school, anyway.” Ben draws out a sigh, continuing on with his rant. “It’s summer. That means all my students are either trying to get ahead, or have fallen behind. The disparity between them is fascinating. One person came to class on the first day having already read everything on the syllabus. Another had no idea who Toni Morrison was.”

Rey reacts.

“A crime, truly.”

Ben agrees, nodding his head. 

“Enough about me. What did you two do today?”

“Well, we played for a long time. Then we had lunch. Benji napped. Afterwards we went for a walk around the neighborhood. And then we came back here and played some more! That was our day. Benji loved getting to see the little ducklings at the pond. He kept giggling and pointing at them.”

Ben hesitates. 

“He pointed at them?!”

Confused, Rey nods. 

“He did. What’s so weird about—” 

“I’ve never seen Benji point before,” Ben interrupts. “At anything. He learned something new today. Good job, buddy!”

Rey watches Ben congratulate his son, watches him hold him, watches him bounce him up and down in an excited manner. And, not for the first time, Rey thinks about how great of a dad he is. 

Minutes later they’re sitting together on the grass, trying to get Benji to point again, when it happens. It’s the same sound she heard the first time — a weird rhythmic sputter — but it still manages to catch her off guard for a second. But only for a second. Because soon Rey is completely drenched in water, feeling it from every possible angle, and she knows what has happened. 

The sprinklers have just gone off.

“Shit,” Ben curses, frantically pulling Rey off the ground and gathering up Benji’s toys. “I mean — shoot. We don’t say shit, Benji. It’s a bad word. Oh, fuck. I did it again. SHOOT. I meant shoot. And fork. Fuck. ”

Rey quickly grabs Benji and races inside the house, not even caring about the wet footprints she’s without a doubt tracking onto the floor. Benji’s a bit shaken, letting out a couple substantial wails. It’s not at tantrum-level yet, but she definitely senses some crying in the near future.

Ben follows close behind them, holding the wet picnic blanket in one arm and all of Benji’s toys against his chest.

Rey and Ben both stand there in the foyer, soaking wet and dripping everywhere, before they catch each other’s eyes. 

Ben lets out a deep breath.

“Well,” he says. “That was unexpected.”

And Rey can’t keep it inside anymore. She bursts out with laughter, clutching her chest and feeling tears leak out of her eyes. Ben follows along with her, and soon all three of them are laughing like mad.    

“I should’ve known better,” Rey says, coming back to herself.

Ben shrugs.

“It’s no big deal. We just got a little wet, is all.” 

“A little?!” Rey gestures to her fully soaked-through romper, and Ben follows her movements. His eyes do this funny flicker as they make their way across her body, as they see the way her clothes stick tightly against her skin. “I should probably just go home so I can change,” she says. 

Ben swallows.

“No.”

Rey raises an eyebrow. 

“No?”

Ben looks sheepish.

“It’s just. I—I was going to make you dinner. Remember?”

Rey hesitates, not sure how she should respond. 

“Wait here.” Ben takes to the staircase, racing upstairs and into his bedroom. He returns seconds later with an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of gym shorts in hand.

“These could work, right?”

Rey looks down at the garments he’s offering, and then back up to meet his eyes. There’s no way she should put these clothes on. She should go home, get changed into clothes of her own, and then she can come right back over for dinner. There’s no reason for her to accept this, especially when she lives right next door. This is crazy. Rey knows this.

But.

Rey thinks about how amazing it would feel to be wrapped up in his clothes. How much she would smell like him. How much she wants to smell like him. 

So she takes the sweatshirt and shorts that he’s offered. 

“Thank you,” she whispers.

Rey passes Benji over to Ben before she makes her way up the stairs to change in the bathroom.

It’s not until she’s closing the door behind her that she hears him mutter, “Of course.” 

Rey looks at herself in the mirror as she shrugs the romper off her body, feeling the cool air hit her naked skin. It leaves goosebumps behind, makes her nipples pebble up and show through the thin cups of her bralette. She looks at herself in her soaking wet bra and underwear, and decides she really can’t stand the feeling of them against her skin either. So she takes them off as well. 

Rey reaches for Ben’s gym shorts next. She pulls them up her naked body, and oh. Yeah. They’re way too big for her. Even when she rolls them up a couple times — they completely engulf her. But it’s not unbearable, and it does cover up everything, so she leaves it be. 

Rey then focuses her attention on the sweatshirt. Now that she’s alone, she brings it up to her face and breathes it in, and sure enough, it smells exactly like Ben. Perfect. She wastes no time in sliding it overtop her body, in allowing it to make her smell just like Ben too. 

She looks at herself in the mirror again, and something inside of her purrs. She’s wearing Ben’s clothes. Without any underwear. 

How intimate.

She squeezes her thighs together as she stands there, before she reaches up to take her hair out of her ponytail. It’ll dry funny if she doesn’t brush it out soon. Maybe Ben has a comb in his cabinet or something, Rey thinks, opening it up and giving it a quick glance. 

Hmm. No comb. But wait. Is that?

Rey gasps, standing on her tiptoes in order to reach the orange bottle on the top shelf.

It’s half empty. The label reads: BENJAMIN O. SOLO, DESIGNATION BLOCKER 100MG CAPSULES. TAKE TWICE DAILY BY MOUTH.

And everything inside of Rey sorta explodes.

Because if Ben’s already on blockers, if he’s been taking them for what looks to be awhile now, then why can she smell him like this?

She drops the bottle in shock. It makes a loud, jarring noise as it lands in the sink, but thankfully the lid stays on. God. What if she accidentally sent all of Ben’s blockers down the drain? Just imagine. 

Rey quickly places the medicine back in its place on the top shelf before shutting the cabinet and letting out a deep breath.

Whatever is happening here...between her and Ben...it isn’t normal. It isn’t normal, it isn’t going to be easy, and it’s probably going to change her life. 

Ben is on blockers, she repeats over and over in her head. And yet. Nothing has ever smelled as perfect as he does.  

After dinner, Rey makes the short journey back over to her house. 

Both her parents work late, so her house is dark and empty as she enters.

Ben made delicious chicken enchiladas for dinner. She’s so full. All she wants to do is head directly to bed. 

So Rey walks upstairs to her bedroom, stuck in some sort of daze. 

Maybe it’s the clothes she’s wearing, or maybe it’s the many hours she’s spent around Ben, but she’s in a trance. Dizzy. Drunk, almost. 

Rey giggles as she turns on her fairy lights, loving the beautiful way they illuminate her bedroom. She slides Ben’s shorts off her legs, feeling the way slick drips out of her and runs down her thigh.

It’s too hot all of a sudden. She can’t stand having a single piece of clothing on her body anymore. So she rips Ben’s sweatshirt off in one fail swoop.  

Ah. That’s better. 

Rey jumps atop her bed, nuzzling into the covers. It’s so soft. Almost perfect. It would be perfect if Ben was here. 

Rey whines, sits back up, and crawls over to where she tossed Ben’s sweatshirt on the floor. She’s changed her mind. She needs it. It has his smell. It has him. Ben. Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben.     

It can’t be described as a moment of clarity, but for one tiny second, Rey thinks about how she’s dreamed of nothing but Ben every night since she met him. Her dreams always feel so real. Almost as if they’re visions. Within reach, somehow.

But then the moment is over. Rey wraps Ben’s sweatshirt around her neck, rubbing it against her throbbing gland, breathing in his scent. She’s squirming, back atop her bed, working three of her fingers all the way inside her cunt. 

She’s lost. Drowning. 

It never occurs to Rey, Ben realizes, as she packs up to leave after dinner is finished, that she’s left her romper upstairs inside his bathroom. 

Rey seems to have forgotten that fact altogether.

But Ben did not forget.

He also does not remind her. No.

Instead, he waves goodbye to Rey, puts a wailing Benji down to sleep, and goes into his bathroom to retrieve the garment that Rey has left. 

And, oh. 

What a blessing. 

It’s not just her romper. Rey has left both her little bra and her soaked-through panties on the floor of his bathroom as well. 

Ben’s hard as a rail as he bends down to pick them up, as he holds them under his nose and inhales deeply.

He races to his bedroom, ripping all of his clothes off, and jumps on top of his bed. 

He lays his head against his pillow, bringing Rey’s panties up to rest on his face. He mouths at them, tasting what could only ever be her slick, and just about comes on the spot.

He pumps himself, imagining it is her hand around him, imagining that she is his mate. His omega. His wife. His. 

And, in that moment, Ben does not feel a smidge of guilt. 

Because he believes it to be true, now. It is going to happen.

He will court her. He will make Rey his. 

In every possible way.

Chapter Text

Something isn’t right.

Rey knows this the second she wakes. Her body is hot and flushed in a way that only ever happens in the week leading up to her heat.

Her mating gland is throbbing against her neck. Her skin is hot to the touch. She feels dizzy. Drained. The only missing symptom is the cramps. Oh, and the ever-constant need for an alpha to be inside her, for an alpha to make it all better.

She had no idea this could even happen. It shouldn’t be happening. It should be impossible. And yet.

It is. 

Rey’s not going into heat today, but she is close. Very close. 

She groans, shrugging Ben’s sweatshirt off from its place around her neck. Time to counteract this. Fast.  

Rey races to her bathroom, grabs the suppressants she keeps on the top shelf of her cabinet, and swallows down three. 

There. That should help. 

She’ll call Doctor Kanata later. Right now, though, Rey needs to cool off. 

Ben stands at the kitchen sink, looking out the wide window that stretches above the countertop. 

He’s just finished putting Benji down for a nap. It’s five past eleven, and Rey’s not set to come by for a couple more hours.  

He’s rinsing out his coffee cup from this morning. From where he stands, he can see the entirety of Rey’s backyard through his kitchen window. The porch. The vegetable garden. The swimming pool. 

It looks so peaceful all empty like this. A suburban dream. 

The peace he feels all but instantly evaporates as he hears a sliding glass door slam shut. Curious, he glances over to see what caused the noise.

And holy shit.  

He immediately drops the mug he’s holding, shattering it into a million pieces on the ground. His eyes bug out of his head.  

It’s Rey. 

She looks like something out of his dreams, headed to the swimming pool in nothing but a revealing little bikini. Ben’s aroused in an instant, head spinning with lust. He grips the kitchen counter so hard his knuckles turn white. 

Rey reaches the edge of the pool before diving cleanly into the deep end. The movement is so skilled that she doesn’t even make a splash.  

Her dive transitions into a graceful breaststroke as she crosses the length of the pool. She reaches the other end in no time, immediately flipping and turning around to repeat the lap.

Ben is transfixed. Lost in her movements. Lost in her.

After a couple minutes of swimming laps, Rey collapses against the steel ladder in the pool’s deep end. She catches her breath before laying her head back against the water and pushing off the side of the wall. 

She floats to the center of the pool, eyes closed.

Ben lets out the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. He wants nothing more than to jump in that pool with her, than to hold her close, than to push down her tiny little bikini bottoms and take her right there.

But he can’t.  

It’s excruciating.  

Ben sighs. I need to pull myself together, he thinks as sinks to the floor and begins to pick up the largest pieces of the broken mug that the vacuum won’t be able to suck up. 

There’s no way Rey would respond to that. Not yet, anyway. 

He doesn’t want to come on too strong. That would surely scare her away. 

So he will be patient. He will slowly begin to come onto her, will show her how much she means to him.

And, when the time comes, she will be his.

When Ben finally gets home from work the sun has long set. He walks the illuminated path up to his front door and turns the key in the lock with a tired sigh. 

The house is about twenty degrees cooler inside than it is outside, and for that Ben is grateful. He shuts the door behind him before turning the corner to find Rey relaxing on his couch. She’s engrossed in a book. It must be really good, because she hasn’t even noticed him walk in. 

“Whatcha reading?”

Rey jumps at the sound of his voice before smiling and setting her book down on the coffee table.   

“Oh. Hi. It’s called Every Day. How was work?”

Ben shrugs as he makes his way over to her. 

“Fine. Is Benji asleep?”

“Yeah, put him down about an hour ago.” 

Ben stops breathing. He’s just picked up on Rey’s scent. She smells like she always does—perfect, impossible—but tonight it’s ten times stronger than usual. He actually might pass out. 

But he can’t let it show. 

So he simply nods his head in understanding. As he approaches, he bends down to pick up Rey’s book. He thumbs through a couple pages before he reads the blurb on the front cover. 

“Every day a different body. Every day a different life. Every day in love with the same girl.” Ben flips to the back cover and starts skimming the description. “It’s a fantasy novel?”

Rey bites her lip.

“Yeah, technically I think it is. But the story, the romance. It all feels so real.”

Ben looks up to find Rey’s cheeks dusted with the most beautiful shade of pink. 

“Romance?” 

“Yeah. The love story. It’s beautiful. And tragic. I’m almost done and I have no idea what’s going to happen next.”

Ben moves closer to where Rey sits, joining her on the opposite end of the couch.

“Well, what do you want to happen?”  

Rey hesitates before answering. 

“What I want to happen and what I think is going to happen are two different things,” she finally says.

Ben’s intrigued. 

“What do you think is going to happen?” he manages to ask. 

Rey sighs.

“I don’t think they’re going to end up together.”

Ben takes a steadying breath.

“And, what do you want to happen?”

Rey looks down into her lap, gives a soft smile.

“I want them to make it work,” she says quietly. “I think they deserve the opportunity to be together.” 

Ben stares at her, and keeps staring at her, and he knows that they’re only talking about the novel, but he can’t help but make it about them.  

“Well, I think that’s beautiful,” he says after many moments. “I hope they get that chance.” 

Rey finally looks up at him, then. 

“Yeah. Me too.” 

Ben collects himself, swallowing before he changes the subject. 

“So you like to read?”

Rey smiles. 

“Love it. I have a huge stack of novels that I haven’t had the time to read over the course of the school year. I told myself I’d finish them over the summer.”

“Ah. Had a busy couple semesters?”

“The busiest. From my schoolwork, to swim team, to just hanging out with my friends. No time to just be.” 

Ben takes this opportunity to ask a question he’s been wondering. 

“Where is it that you go to school again?”

“Oh, I go to Coruscant University. It’s pretty far from here.”

Ben’s stomach plummets.

“How far, would you say?”

“It depends. By plane it’s a few hours away. By car...probably ten hours? That’s on a good day with no traffic.” 

Everything inside Ben immediately crumbles. Ten hours away. Rey goes to school ten hours away.

He’s gutted, but determined not to let it show. 

“Wow. That is far,” he says carefully.  

Rey shrugs. 

“I chose it because of the special programs they have for people with rare designations. I’ve never been surrounded by so many alphas and omegas before in my life. ”

Ben immediately sees red. It’s all he can think about, now. 

Rey. Surrounded. By other alphas.

He doesn’t trust himself to respond to her, so he just nods stiltedly. She continues speaking.

“I also liked the idea of getting out of this town. I’ve never lived anywhere else, and I was ready to experience something new. It was fun, at first. But now…” 

Rey plays with her fingers nervously.

“Now I’m not so sure. Being home has made me realize how much I love it here. It’s nice to be back.”

Ben perks at those words. 

“Really?”

Rey exhales.

“Yeah. Really. Lately I’ve been thinking about what it means to be home, what it means to have one. And I am pretty sure this is it. Home. The place where I want to spend the rest of my life. As soon as I finish school, anyway.”  

A million images blossom in Ben’s mind at her words. They all revolve around the same thing. Mating with Rey. Living with her, here. Forever. 

Ben gulps.

“You really mean that?”

Her blush deepens as she nods softly. 

And Ben, he doesn’t know what to say. So he just smiles.

He knows he told himself he’d take his time, that he’d gradually court her, but if he doesn’t hurry up and make a move she’s definitely heading back to Coruscant University come September.

He will have to show her that this can be her home. 

That she could be happy here. With him. 

“Oh, honey,” Doctor Kanata says the moment she walks into the examination room. “I feared this would happen.”

Rey adjusts her hospital gown and gulps.

“Is there any way to stop it?”

Doctor Kanata sighs as she washes her hands and slips on rubber gloves.

“Partially. I can give you a vaccination that will delay it, but it won’t stop it from coming far sooner than previously planned. You’ll have a couple weeks to make arrangements.” 

Rey lowers her head at the confirmation.

“So I’m going into heat early.”

Doctor Kanata gives her a sympathetic look.

“I’m afraid so.” 

 Rey tries to wrap her head around this as Doctor Kanata prepares the vaccine. 

“I had no idea this was even possible,” Rey lets out. “I take my suppressants every morning. I’ve never missed a day. How?”

Doctor Kanata hesitates before she answers.

“Sometimes,” she says, “if two people are extremely compatible with each other, any attempt to stifle designation fails. When the pheromones mingle, they become too strong to be suppressed. It used to be called having a soulmate, though that terminology is rather outdated now. All it means is that the connection is amplified to immeasurable amounts of pleasure between the two individuals.” 

Rey is speechless. 

“I—I remember the stories. About soulmates. I thought they were myths.”

Doctor Kanata nods.

“Well, they pretty much are. Those stories are romanticized so much that there’s not even the slightest bit of truth left in them. But the connection...the extreme compatibility...it’s real. Rare, but real.”

Rey takes in a deep breath.

“I can’t believe it.”

Doctor Kanata gives her a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. 

“I know. It’s a lot to take in. But Rey, I want you to know that you have options. I’m going to give you the vaccine, and then I’m going to prescribe the highest possible dose of suppressants that I can. Biological compatibility means nothing if you don’t feel comfortable in your situation.”

Doctor Kanata clears her throat.

“Now, um, Rey. If you don’t mind me asking. This all had to have been triggered by close proximity to an alpha. Is your boss the only alpha you have been in contact with?” 

There’s a lengthy pause before Rey answers. 

“Yes.”

Doctor Kanata shakes her head in pity. 

“That is what I feared. Oh, Rey. I am so sorry. Well. Here’s hoping the stronger meds work. The last thing you want is to be tied to your boss forever. You have your whole life ahead of you, after all.”

“Right,” Rey manages. “My whole life. Mhm.”

She’s stopped trying to sound convincing. It’s useless.

Rey wants Ben more than anything. Her upcoming heat is going to be torturous. 

Knowing that he’s just next door. Knowing that he was made specifically to bring her pleasure. Knowing that he could make her feel so good. 

But he won’t. He wouldn’t.   

She’s just his kid’s babysitter. If he wanted her in that way, he would’ve made a move by now. Right? He’s shown no sign of feeling anything for her. At all.

She’s going to spend her heat all alone. Again. 

How dreadful. 

Rey sighs as Doctor Kanata inserts the vaccine inside her upper thigh. It hurts, but she’s too bummed to show it. 

Ben is my soulmate, she thinks to herself. But he doesn’t want me at all. 

How pathetic is that?  

He didn’t think it could be possible, but with every interaction Ben falls even harder for Rey. It is so easy to think of her as his already.

She’s always around.

Benji seems to love her just as much as he does. In fact, now his son will only go to sleep if Rey is the one who puts him down in the crib.

One afternoon Ben’s checking over his lesson plans at the kitchen table when Rey comes over. She doesn’t need to ring the doorbell anymore. Ben has given her a key.  

Benji’s seated in his highchair, making a mess with his strawberry apple cereal puffs. He coos the moment he sees Rey walk into the room, clapping in her direction.

“Hi sweetheart,” she whispers as she kisses Benji on the head. “Oh, you’re making a mess, aren’t you?” 

Ben smiles.

“It seems he’s decided to throw them all on the floor. This happens every time, and yet I always buy a new container of puffs when I go to the store. Will I ever learn?”  

Rey shakes her head as she wipes Benji’s face and hands clean. 

“Only time will tell.”

Ben laughs before clearing his throat, encouraged by their easy banter. There’s something he’s been wanting to ask her.  

“Do you remember when we talked about painting Benji’s nursery?”

Rey tilts her head.

“Yes, of course. Why?”

“Uh—I. Well. I was thinking we could get started on it. We could all go to Home Depot tomorrow and pick out some paint samples, if you’d like.” 

Rey smiles as she reaches down to pluck Benji out of the highchair. 

“Yeah? Wow. I’d love that. Let’s do it!” 

So they do.

Rey meets the Solo boys the next morning around ten in their front yard. She takes Benji from Ben’s grasp, fastens him securely in his car seat before getting in the passenger seat alongside Ben. 

“This is gonna be so much fun!” she says with a wide smile as she fastens her own seatbelt.

Ben watches her out of the corner of his eye, then looks up in his rearview mirror to catch a glimpse of Benji. His son is babbling nonsense and holding on tight to his best pal Walter. He smiles. Ben has everything he could ever care about right here in the car with him. He is the luckiest man in the world. It is almost perfect.

Ben turns his head to focus in on Rey again, on the gland he can see poke halfway out of her blouse.  

It would be perfect if she was his mate. 

Soon, he thinks as he watches her sort through the many nursery song CDs in order to find one that Benji will love. Soon she will be his. He will make sure of it.   

“What do you think?” Rey asks, holding two different paint swatches next to each other. “Rhubarb Red or Candy Apple?”

Ben rubs his chin, pretending to really ponder the question.

“Hmm.”

He turns his body to face the wall of paint chips once more, plucking a deeper shade from the display case before holding it out to her. 

“I see your Rhubarb Red and your Candy Apple, and I raise you one Chili Pepper.” 

Rey laughs, playfully shoves at his arm. 

“I’m serious, Ben.” 

Rey plucks the Chili Pepper card from his hand with the intention of placing it back on the display, before she hesitates. 

“Look I know you were joking, but maybe this is the one. What do you think, Benji?” 

The boy is wrapped up against Rey’s body in a device called the Comfy Cocoon. It’s a baby sling carrier that Ben usually wears when he’s out doing errands, but Rey wanted to give a try this time. She holds the paint chip in front of Benji’s face and he grabs it from her instantly, immediately shoving it in his mouth.

“I think he likes it,” Ben says. 

Rey carefully extracts the paint chip from Benji’s mouth, laughing as she holds it between two fingers and drops it in a trash can over by the customer service desk. 

“Welp. Back to the drawing board. Maybe there are more options on the other side.”

Ben nods, smiling at the sight of Rey fluttering off to the next aisle over. They’ve picked out almost every other color, but can’t seem to come to a conclusion on the perfect shade of red for the rainbow. 

It’s taking a while.

But Ben doesn’t mind. Rey’s perfectionism is adorable. Well, actually. Everything about her is adorable. 

After waiting a few moments, Ben walks over to find Rey in the next aisle. He sees her at the other end talking to a Home Depot employee dressed in an orange-colored apron. He’s an older man with a scruffy grey beard. Rey is showing him the first two red paint options. They haven’t noticed Ben approaching yet, but he’s close enough to overhear the tail-end of their conversation as he makes his way down the long aisle.  

“I’d go with Candy Apple,” the employee states, passing both paint chips back over to Rey. “A perfect shade of red.”

Rey smiles. 

“You know what, you’re right. It’s what I was thinking too, just had to hear someone else say it. It’s decided. Candy Apple.”

The older man grins. “So glad I could help ya out.” He bends down to wave at Benji. “Boy, ain’t your son a cutie pie,” he says to Rey, whose face turns as red as the paint chip.

“Oh, uh. Actually. He’s not—”

“Thank you,” Ben says, cutting Rey off as he approaches. He places one of his hands against the small of her back. “He really is.”

“Ah!” The older man exclaims, straightening up to meet Ben’s eyes. “You must be the dad. He has your ears.”

Ben grimaces.

“I am. And, he does. Unfortunately.”

Rey looks up at Ben with a glazed-over sort of look in her eyes, a look that leaves Ben weak in the knees. A look that terrifies him just as much as it fills him with hope. He finds the courage to meet her gaze head on. Because this, this. It finally feels like progress. Like something is finally happening. 

“I like your ears,” Rey says softly, just for him, and Ben stops breathing. He tightens his hold on her ever-so-slightly, forgetting where they are for a moment.

“Well, you better,” the employee says, intruding on their reverie. “Right?”

Rey doesn’t even break away from Ben’s gaze as she replies, shyly, “Right. I better.”

Ben exhales at her words.

“Take care, y'all.” The employee walks away, leaving Ben and Rey in their own little world. Together.   

“We will,” Ben whispers, though the employee is long gone. 

Rey doesn’t know how he’ll respond.

She needs to tell him. She does. It’s going to take him a while to get someone to cover for her. 

But she’s scared of bringing it up.

It almost felt as though something changed this afternoon, like a switch finally went off. It almost felt like they were having a moment. 

But sooner rather than later they were back at the house, and Ben had to head off to work. There was no time to talk about it. Any of it.

And now it’s like the moment has passed before it even really began.

She hears the garage door close as the familiar jingle of Ben’s keys rings throughout the house. 

He’s home. 

Rey takes a steadying breath as his heavy footsteps make their way throughout the house, until he finally enters the kitchen. Rey’s seated at one of the barstools. 

“Hi,” he says as he shrugs off his tweed sports jacket, loosens his tie. “How was your night?”

“Fine.” She forces a smile. Ben picks up on her mood and tenses.

“Is everything okay?” 

Rey jumps down from her place on the barstool.

“I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Well, actually. I guess it could be better. There’s something I need to tell you.”

Ben shortens the distance between them.

“You’re scaring me.”

“You don’t need to be afraid. It’s nothing, really. Benji’s fine. I’m fine. It’s just—” 

She pauses, collects her thoughts before continuing. 

“I’m gonna get my heat earlier than I previously thought. Much earlier.” 

Ben swallows. His eyes turn black. One of them twitches. This obviously wasn’t what he was expecting.

“Your heat?” 

Rey nods.

“It’s gonna happen next week. A freak occurrence. My doctor said so.” 

Ben doesn’t seem to be breathing. Rey moves closer to him.

“I’m telling you so you can find someone to watch Benji. I won’t be able to. I’ll—”

Rey lets the sentence drag off. He seems to have a pretty good idea of where she’ll be. Of what she will be doing.  

Ben’s deep voice is quiet as ever when he finally speaks. 

“Is anybody going to help you?” 

Rey shakes her head, and Ben moves even closer to her. She has to tilt her head up all the way to look at him now. 

“No,” Rey says. “I’m doing it like I always do. Alone.”

“But that’s…” Ben closes his eyes and takes a breath before responding. “That’s gotta be so painful, Rey.”

She looks down at her shoes. 

“It always is.”

It almost happens in slow motion. Ben leans down, grazes his nose against her neck. Rubs. Smells.

“It doesn’t have to be,” he whispers, pulling her blouse down a bit and pressing a kiss against her gland. “Painful, that is.”

Euphoria.

Instant bliss. She collapses against him, feels slick build up and drip down her thighs. Nothing has ever felt as good as this. She looks up at Ben, sees the way he’s looking down at her, and knows that he feels it too. 

The connection. 

She pants, breathing quickly now. This is a serious decision. She’s never even had sex before, and now Ben is offering to help see her through her heat. God. What is going on? Yesterday she thought Ben saw her as some little kid. But now…

Rey looks up at him again, as he continues his ministrations against her neck. Lightly nipping. Kissing. 

And she knows she was wrong. Could he actually be feeling everything that she is feeling for him? 

It’s too much. Rey quickly shrugs away from Ben, moving back over to the counter to gather her things.

“I need to think about it,” she says, dazed. “I mean, Ben, I want to. But please. Let me think about it first, okay?”

He’s breathing ragged, looks to be holding himself back from her. 

It looks like he is about to pounce.

But Ben doesn’t do that. He nods, eyes closed. 

“Of course, Rey. Of course.”

She leaves without another word. 

Ben stumbles inside his bedroom.

The room spins as he rips off all his clothes, as he finally frees his cock and squeezes it tight. 

He was so close.

So close. 

He could’ve bitten her. Right there. It would’ve fixed everything.

But he didn’t. 

He couldn’t.  

He will only do that when he knows Rey wants it as much as he does. 

Ben reaches for the panties he keeps underneath his pillow, bringing the little bit of cloth to his face and inhaling deeply. Smelling the perfect scent of his Rey. 

He kissed her gland.

It felt like nothing he’s ever experienced before. He’s enraptured. Intoxicated by her. 

Ben looks up as he notices the new beam of light streaming into his dark bedroom. 

Rey’s window.

He rushes over to his own window and pulls the blinds up in a rush, desperate to see her. Desperate to get as much of her as he can. 

And, oh. 

She’s already naked.

Ben can see her silhouette perfectly. Her slim waist, her perfect ass. Her perky breasts. All of it. He huffs as he pumps himself, as he imagines what it would be like to help her through her heat.

He’s not even trying to be subtle as he stands against the window, watching her intently. She could turn and notice him in an instant. 

Ben finds that he doesn’t even care. 

He’s drunk on her. Needs her. Needs as much as he can get.

Rey stands in front of her dresser. She brings something up to her face and inhales deeply. Ben squints, trying to make it out, when he puts it all together. 

Rey is smelling the sweatshirt he gave her. Rey is about to get off to his scent. 

Ben comes instantly, overwhelmed by the idea of Rey needing him as much as he needs her. 

In an instant his cock begins to harden again. It should be impossible. He wouldn’t believe it, if it weren’t for the way Rey is circling her nipples with her fingertips. If it weren’t for the way Rey rubs her clit between her fingers, the way she’s trying to get herself off. 

Yeah. 

Ben’s hard as a rail.

He whines, slamming his other hand against the window in an attempt to steady himself. The movement makes a loud noise that reverberates around him. Rey seems to have heard the slam, jumping where she stands in her bedroom.  

She turns her head quickly in his direction, and oh. It’s too late to move out of the way, isn’t it. 

Rey moves her flimsy white curtain aside and gasps as she sees him — naked, panting, and touching himself. 

She’s unmoving—speechless. 

Ben can see her body perfectly now that the curtain has moved. She is a vision. An angel. 

He is afraid of what she’s going to do, embarrassed to have been caught but also more turned on than he’s ever been. He continues to pump his cock and groans as she stares at him.

Slowly, without breaking eye contact, Rey reaches down to touch herself. She cups the entirety of her cunt in her palm, before she parts her folds and sticks a couple fingers inside. 

Ben moans. He melts. They’re touching themselves. And looking at each other. Separated only by these walls. By their respective houses.

By societal convention. 

Ben wants to run over to her, to take her in his arms and have his way with her all night long, but he doesn’t want to miss this. He can’t miss this beautiful show she is giving him. This is...this is everything.  

Besides. 

Rey already told him that she needed to think about it. He has to allow her that opportunity. 

Right now...right now Ben is going to stand here, jerk off, and watch the way Rey squirms as she finds her pleasure. Watch the way her hair falls perfectly against her face, watch the way her tiny breasts bounce as she moves.

Ben has never felt closer to everything he has ever wanted.

It’s within reach.

He feels it, knows it to be true.  

Not much longer, now. Not much longer at all.

Chapter Text

Rey wakes on top of her covers, naked and confused. 

The sun beams through her bedroom’s open curtains, bathing her in the softest morning glow. For a moment she simply lies against her messy sheets, slowly coming back to herself, before she’s jolted by the memory of last night’s events. 

Rey shivers, remembering the way Ben studied her with hooded eyes. The way his left palm spread against his window. The way his other pumped his massive cock. 

She’s never felt more desire — more desired — in her life. 

Rey finally rises from her bed and takes her newly-prescribed heavy dose of suppressants before dressing simply in shorts and a tank top. 

It’s her day off, so that means she’ll finally get the chance to clear her head and think about exactly what it is that she wants. 

Although Rey likes Ben, she’s worried about starting any kind of relationship with him. What will happen after she leaves for school in the fall? Will Ben lose interest in her if he isn’t able to see her every day? 

More than that, what makes Rey think that Ben would even want that? A relationship. Ben is a man. He has a job, a life. A child. How could a girl like her fit into that equation? She’s still figuring the whole life thing out herself. 

It’s a lot to think about. 

Rey leaves her room quickly, ready for an ample distraction. She’s about to head downstairs when she’s jolted by the unmistakable sound of a lawn mower springing to life. 

“Mom?” Rey questions, hearing noise from the kitchen and knowing her mother is making breakfast. 

“Morning honey!”

“Why is dad mowing the lawn? I thought he had to work—” 

The rest of Rey’s sentence dies in the back of her throat as she enters the kitchen. Because there Benji sits, propped up in his yellow highchair. The boy is close to where Rey’s mom stands as she cracks an egg into a bowl. As soon as Benji sees Rey approach, he squeals with delight and makes grabby hands in her direction.  

“Dad is at work,” Rey’s mom explains, pouring the egg mixture in a skillet. “Mr. Solo offered to mow our lawn this morning.” 

Rey’s brain short circuits. 

“What?”

Her mom nods, pointing towards the window that looks out into the expansive front yard. Rey quickly moves over to see, and oh. God.

There’s Ben. Mowing the grass. Shirtless. 

Rey blushes, watching how his muscles flex as he grips the handle, as he methodically moves up and down the lawn to trim the overgrown blades and weeds.  

Rey’s so lost in him that she doesn’t even hear her mother come stand beside her. 

“Isn’t he something. Wow. Look at that.” 

Her mom wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, and Rey wants to die. 

“Mom.”

“Hey, I’m just saying. You can’t tell me that’s not a pretty sight.” 

Rey bites her lip as she turns her head to look at Ben again. He’s stopped to take a break, breathing heavy as he wipes sweat off his brow with his upper arm. The movement shows off his perfect chest, and Rey swoons internally. 

She refuses to answer her mom though. Too weird. 

The woman smiles knowingly as she makes her way back over to the kitchen counter. 

“Now wash up, breakfast is almost ready. I haven’t seen much of you lately, busy working girl. I wanna catch up.”

Rey blinks as she watches Ben pull the lawn mower’s cord to restart the machine again. Sweaty hair falls in his eyes, his muscles prominent as he exerts himself.

Fuck. 

Rey quickly moves away from the window. There’s no way she can get this horny in front of her mom. So she shakes the quickly-encroaching explicit thoughts away in favor of eating breakfast. She kisses Benji on the forehead before pouring herself a glass of orange juice and meeting her mom at the kitchen table. 

“Actually,” Rey starts, unsure of how to begin this conversation. “There is something I need to talk to you about. I went to Doctor Kanata’s office the other day, and she told me that my next heat is coming as early as next week.” 

Rey’s mom pauses mid-bite, hovering her fork right outside her mouth before fully comprehending what Rey has just said. 

“Are you okay? Is that normal? I thought your next heat was scheduled for August?” 

Rey nods, feigning composure. 

“Perfectly normal. We just miscalculated before, is all.” 

Rey doesn’t lie to her mom often. Rarely ever. But telling her that their uber-hot neighbor sent her into heat early is just too embarrassing to admit. Plus, it’s an added bonus that both her beta parents are clueless enough to believe anything she says about her designation. 

“Well. I guess I’ll make a hotel reservation for me and your father for next week.” 

Rey swallows down a bite of her breakfast.

“I don’t want to force you two out of the house. I can stay at the hotel if it’s easier.” 

Mom shakes her head.

“No. I’ll feel better knowing you’re safely locked up in your bedroom.”

Rey shrugs, fine with either option. 

“Alright. Sounds good to me.”

Mom grabs Rey’s hand from across the table and squeezes comfortingly, smiling. 

“Then it’s settled. I’m really sorry, honey. I know how much you hate your heat.” 

Rey tries not to think about how quickly that could all change as she returns her mother’s loving gesture. She gulps, remembering the way Ben looked as he pushed the lawn mower up and down the front yard.

Almost as if on cue, the front door creaks open. 

“Morning everyone.”

It’s Ben. He saunters into the kitchen, still shirtless though he’s thrown a towel around his neck to help absorb the sweat. Somehow his hair looks perfect, even all damp and tousled like it is. Rey freezes as his eyes meet her own. 

The way he looks at her is brand new. Sort of like they’re both in on a joke that nobody else understands. He smiles cheekily before he bends down to kiss his son on the head. 

“Can I get you anything, Ben?” Rey’s mom questions, scooting up and out of her chair.  “Some water? Breakfast?” 

Ben’s eyes never leave Rey’s as he responds. 

“Now that you mention it, I am pretty thirsty.” 

Rey blushes, and Ben smirks. She looks down at her plate, embarrassed and aroused.  

“One glass of ice water coming right up. Why don’t you sit down at the table and I’ll make you a plate.” 

Rey eyes Ben’s body in the most subtle way she can as she continues to eat her breakfast. He sits down right next to her, close enough to brush his leg against her own. 

“Hi,” he whispers, low enough to go unnoticed by her mom. 

Rey smiles softly, nervously meeting his eyes. 

“Hi.” 

Ben returns the smile as he slides his arm against the back of her chair. Now that he’s so close, Rey’s picking up on the details that she had missed before.  

Ben is super dirty. Little flecks of yard debris scatter along his chest. Rey’s surprised her mom even allowed him in the house. It must be a testament to how much she likes him. 

He smells like the color green. Like freshly cut grass. Like he’s been outside for too long.

It shouldn’t make her feel some type of way. It shouldn’t make her want to jump his bones. 

But it does. 

Because it doesn’t mask his normal perfect scent. Somehow, it adds to it. Makes him more irresistible than ever. Manly. It’s nothing but pure alpha. 

“Here you go, Ben.”

Rey’s mom sets down a plate full of bacon and eggs, accompanied by a large glass filled with ice water. 

“Thank you,” he says as he picks up the cup and takes a generous gulp. Rey watches the way his throat bobs as he drinks, watches the way his lips curl against the edge of the glass.  

After a few moments of this, she forces herself to look away and return to her own food. 

“I should be thanking you,” Rey’s mom says as she rejoins her seat at the table. “Our yard really needed that.”

Ben sets the glass back down, having chugged almost all the water in one gulp. He looks over at Rey’s mom, who is seated across the table from the two of them.  

“It was nothing,” Ben says genuinely. 

“It was not nothing! Rey, I didn’t even ask him to do it. How generous is that?” 

Rey hesitates, hyper-aware of the way Ben is now staring at her. 

“So generous,” she whispers, looking at her mom and not the man at her side. God. This is so awkward. She wants to die. 

Ben gives a dismissive wave of his hand before lowering it down to rest in his lap.

“Nonsense. With everything Rey has done for me, this is just my way of saying thank you. Benji and I are so lucky to have her in our lives.”

Rey’s mom presses her hand against her chest. “That is so sweet of you to say, Ben. Isn’t it, Rey?”

Rey’s about to respond when out of nowhere, she feels a hand slip onto her thigh. She exhales, careful to not react in a way that would make her mom aware of what’s going on. 

“Right,” Rey manages to get out. “So sweet.” 

For a second, Ben's hand just rests on top of Rey’s upper thigh. Steady and firm. Comforting. 

Until he squeezes. Tight.

It feels...it feels like nothing she’s ever known. Ben’s hand is big enough to grasp the entirety of her thigh in his palm. If he squeezed really hard, he could easily touch his thumb together with his pinky. In fact, he’s not far off from that now. 

The thought is overwhelming, knowing that he’s big enough to hold all of her. Knowing that she fits perfectly against him.  

His hands are so much larger than her own, with veins that protrude slightly underneath his skin. She wants him to touch her everywhere with them. Wants him to dig his fingers into her waist, her stomach. Her throat, even. She wants him to leave marks. Wants to remember that he has touched her, wants proof.  

She closes her eyes and moves to take a sip of her orange juice, picturing the way it would feel to have Ben wrap his hands around her throat, his hands fully encapsulating and squeezing against her most sensitive area. Her gland.   

As the minutes go by Ben slowly softens his grasp, walking his fingers up and down her thigh with a featherlight touch that drives her crazy. It’s too much and simultaneously not enough. Every new touch from Ben feels better than the last. 

And Rey, well. She wonders how much longer she’ll be able to resist him. Wonders if she should just throw all common sense out the window.

Wonders if she might just have to take him up on his offer.  

“Come in.”

Ben swallows as he pushes Amilyn’s office door open. 

“Ben, what a surprise! Please, sit.”

Ben shuffles over to the seat in front of his colleague’s desk, noticeably stiff as he lowers himself down into the obviously-not-made-for-men-of-his-size chair.        

“We haven’t seen each other since the staff meeting in April,” Amilyn says as she moves her glasses away from her face. “To what do I owe this visit?”

Ben runs a hand through his hair before he begins.

“I’d like to tell you it’s just to catch up, but in actuality I was wondering if you’d be willing to do me a favor.”

Amilyn tilts her head curiously.

“Well. That all depends on what the favor is.”

Ben chuckles nervously. 

“Right. Well. So. My…” He pauses, deciding exactly how to word it. “My girlfriend is going into heat next week. Unexpectedly. I’d like to be available to help her through it. So I’m using all my sick days and taking next week off. I was wondering if you’d let my students sit in on a few of your lectures? You know, just so they don’t get behind.”

The room goes silent. It takes minutes for Amilyn to respond. When she finally does, it’s through tilted words. 

“Does your mom know?”

“What?”

“Does your mom know? About your girlfriend.” 

Ben turns red. 

“No. I’m not telling her until it gets serious and I have to.”

Amilyn raises her eyebrows.

“More serious than spending a heat together?”

Ben huffs, refusing to meet her eyes. Amilyn continues.

“Where are you keeping Benji?”

“Haven’t figured that out yet.” 

Amilyn sighs. 

“Look, Ben. Cancel your classes. Your students don’t need to listen in on a first-year English Lit course. They’ll rejoice in getting a week off.”

Ben stares down at his shoes, but Amilyn’s not done. 

“And you and I both know who would rejoice in getting to spend a week with Benji. If you’re being honest with yourself, it’s probably why you came to talk to me in the first place. I think you just needed the push.”

Ben closes his eyes, clenches and unclenches his fists. 

“Think about it,” Amilyn whispers. “She misses you.”

Ben knows this. It’s what scares him the most. 

He sighs, nods before exiting Amilyn’s office.

His phone weighs heavy in his pocket knowing what is to come. 

It’s time for Ben to call his mom.

He’s terrified. Knowing it could all be for naught. 

He doesn’t know what Rey will end up deciding, doesn’t know if she’ll even want him there for her. 

But he has to be prepared. 

He has to be. 

Okay. It’s official. 

Rey is addicted to Ben. 

Over the past week she’s developed a routine of sorts. As soon as she gets home from babysitting Benji, Rey bolts up to her room and perches atop her bed. She hides just far enough to the side so that Ben isn’t able to see her through his own window, and waits patiently for his bedroom light to switch on. She purposefully keeps her own lights off, shielding herself completely from his view. 

It never takes long for Ben to appear. 

She’s fascinated by the meticulous way he unbuttons his dress shirts. By the careful way he loosens his tie. 

She imagines being the one to unbuckle his belt as he slides out of his pants, as he pulls off his boxer briefs.

Sometimes she feels guilty for watching him like this. But then she gets another look at his perfect chest, and all other thoughts disappear instantly.  

Most nights she gets to watch Ben touch himself. 

Most nights she joins in on his fun. 

And when all is said and done, when Ben has flipped the light switch and bathed his room in darkness again, Rey finally switches on her fairy lights and stands in front of her window. 

Perhaps it is her way of paying it forward. Her way of evening the score. 

She doesn’t know if Ben watches her, can’t see him through her flimsy curtains and his darkened room, but she hopes he does.

She hopes he watches her as she strips off all her clothes. Hopes he watches her tease him. She hopes a lot of things, really. 

Most of all she hopes he still wants to help her out during her heat. 

Because Rey’s decided, now. 

Maybe she’ll end up regretting it later. Who knows. Honestly, who cares.

All that makes sense right now, all that Rey can seem to focus on, is the way she wants him.    

They way she needs him.

“Just like that, Benji. There you go.” 

Rey watches as the boy dips his hand into the fingerpaint curiously. He slaps his handprint onto the construction paper she’s laid out in front of him, giggling and squealing in delight.  

Painting the nursery has inspired Rey to get Benji in on all the fun, and the boy is clearly enjoying himself.

“The fingerpainting kit was half off,” Rey explains to Ben as he enters the kitchen in search of a Cliff Bar to eat for lunch. “Plus, you needed something to go on your fridge. It’s so empty in here. We have to make it look more lived-in and less like a showroom at Ikea.” 

Ben shakes his head.

“I dunno. The mortgage I pay every month makes this place feel pretty lived-in to me.” 

Rey rolls her eyes as she leads Benji’s pointer finger into the yellow paint, fighting off a smile.

“Whatever. Your genius son is painting you beautiful works of art. Be grateful.”

Ben looks down at the splattery mess that Benji’s currently working on. Even though Rey can tell he has a million retorts about how there’s more genius to be found in the wad of gum he scraped off the bottom of his shoe the other day, Ben lets Rey win this round.  

“Have fun you two,” he says simply as he bends down to kiss Benji goodbye.

Rey expects Ben to immediately stand back up, straighten his briefcase strap, and leave for work, but instead the man hesitates. 

She’s hyper-aware of how close he is, not daring to even move a single one of her muscles. She’s trying not to get her hopes up, but it’s hard not to when she can feel his steady breath against her neck. 

It’s sudden, the way he nestles against her nape, they way he leaves a scorching kiss against her sensitive skin.

“I’ll see you later,” Ben whispers, and the mood shifts. 

Rey blinks, feels a blush begin to blossom against her cheeks.

Ben kisses her there again, and Rey’s never been more aroused. She squeezes her legs together, attempting to relieve some of the tension, when Benji squeals and immediately jolts her out of the moment.

The boy has been unsupervised for literally twenty seconds and has already covered himself with paint. It’s in his hair. All over his face. 

Ben has the nerve to laugh. 

“Yeah. He’s painting beautiful works of art all right.”

Rey shoves Ben away, trying her hardest not to give in to the grin she feels coming. 

“Shut up and go to work already.”

Ben winks, before dipping his finger in the paint and dolloping it on Rey’s nose. She gasps dramatically, before doing the exact same thing to him. 

“You better get out of here before you look like Benji,” Rey threatens.

Ben holds his hands up in surrender, chuckling. 

“Okay, okay, I’m outta here. Jesus.” 

He sneaks one more kiss, this time on her lips, before running out the door. 

And Rey — well. Rey’s whole world shifts on its axis. She stands there in the kitchen for a good long while, delicately touching her lips with her fingertips. 

Ben just kissed her.  

She doesn’t want to get any of her hopes up, but for a second there it almost felt like they were a family. 

She looks down at the way Benji continues to splatter himself with the paint, and smiles.

Maybe, one day, they will be.

Ben practically sprints inside his house as soon as he gets home from work. 

Rey’s heat is so soon. He could smell the changes happening in her body earlier, and it’s been driving him mad all day. This back and forth that they have going on is fun, but he’s desperate for more. He needs more.

“Rey?” Ben questions as he peeks inside the kitchen and tugs his tie loose. 

Hmm. It’s empty.

Maybe she’s reading on the couch or something.

Ben shrugs his briefcase off and heads that way. 

“Rey? I’m home—”

He stops right in his tracks, because there Rey lies. Nestled up on his couch underneath a thin throw blanket. Fast asleep against the cushions, snoring softly. 

Ben exhales, knowing exactly what this means. Her body is forcing her to rest up while she still can.

Heat is coming soon. 

Maybe it’s stupid. Maybe it’s irrational. But in this moment, all Ben can think about is putting Rey to sleep in an actual bed. So he scoops her up into his arms, in love with the way her head instinctively nestles against his chest, and carries her up the stairs and into his bedroom.

He tucks her inside his sheets, and just about combusts. This. This is what he dreams about. Having Rey inside his bed. Finally.  

It takes everything in Ben’s power not to crawl in beside her. With gritted teeth he slowly backs away, shutting the door behind him as he makes his way back down the stairs.

Maybe he should just finish grading the essays he promised to hand back tomorrow morning. That’s sure to calm him down. 

So Ben sits at the kitchen table, red pen in hand, and pulls the essays out of his briefcase. He’s about to start grading when he notices a stack of colorful paper out of the corner of his eye.

It’s Benji’s paintings, Ben realizes as he reaches for them. They’re all different — some mere smudges, some consisting of more of a splatter effect. 

Rey was right. They make his heart swell with pride. He loves them. 

But it’s the final painting in the stack, however, that leaves Ben breathless. It’s far too complicated to have been made by his son. Rey must have painted this.

The painting consists of three stick figures. One is tall, one is tiny, and one is somewhere in between. The tall stick figure wears glasses and what Ben thinks is supposed to be a tie. The tiny one holds a little whale. And the regular sized one has shoulder-length hair and a pretty dress. 

It’s them, Ben realizes. Rey has finger-painted a picture of the three of them. It’s a shitty picture, sure, but it’s perfect to him. 

Ben loves it so much he hangs it on the fridge.   

It’s a lucky thing he finishes grading the essays before he falls asleep at the kitchen table. 

Ben wakes up in a mad dash the next morning, no time to even change his clothes or fix his tie before leaving for work.

He simply grabs for his stack of papers on the table in front of him, shoves them in his briefcase, writes Rey a note, and races out the door.

The sooner he gets home, the better.

Because today is the day. 

Today, Rey is finally expected to get her heat.

Heaven.

That is where she must be.

Rey’s groggy, delirious as she rubs against a soft pillow. Ben. It smells like Ben. Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben. He is everywhere. Surrounding her completely. 

How?

A cramp hits her out of nowhere, causing Rey to buckle over and growl in pain. The sudden movement brings back the tiniest bit of sense. Shit. 

Rey sits up straight, looking all around her and realizing that she never made it back home last night. Nope. Instead, she must have fallen asleep at Ben’s house.

And somehow ended up inside his bed. 

Rey jumps to her feet, feeling another cramp rip through her as she races out of the bedroom.

She’s still dressed in her clothes from yesterday. They stick to her through a thin layer of sweat. It’s gross. She wants to change. Better yet, she wants to strip, lay back down in that bed, and wait for Ben to get home. 

But first she needs to figure out what’s going on. 

Benji’s crying. Rey races inside the nursery and plucks him from his crib, silencing his whines instantly. She changes his diaper and dresses him in a cute outfit with overalls. The boy pulls on her hair as she races downstairs and into the kitchen.

The clock on the microwave reads 7:20am. Ben must have just left for work. 

Rey washes her hands and goes through the motions of mixing formula for Benji. As he sucks on his bottle, Rey moves over to the spot at the kitchen table where she left the art they fingerpainted yesterday.

But the paintings are nowhere to be seen. Only a stack of weird academic-looking papers lay in their place.  

She moves closer to the table and finds a note scattered in red pen. 

Rey,

You were asleep on the couch when I got home last night. Tucked you in bed. We need to talk when I get home. I just have to return these essays I spent all night grading and then I’m letting the class go early. I’ll be back to you soon. Promise.

Ben

There are some parts of the note she cares about more than others, surely, but Rey can’t help but notice that Ben has made a mistake. The essays he spent all night grading are right here on the kitchen table.

Ben accidentally took Benji’s paintings to class instead. Oh shit. 

Rey doesn’t even allow herself time to panic. She grabs the stack of essays and races over to where her car sits parked in the driveway next door. Thank god Ben had the sense to install a car seat in the back of her Ford Focus. 

Rey buckles Benji in as fast as possible and flies out of the neighborhood, trying to remember exactly how to get to Chandrila University. She’s toured the school a few times, back when she was still deciding where exactly she was going to attend. 

It all comes back to her as soon as she gets on the highway. 

The road isn’t too busy, but she doesn’t want to take any chances. Rey speeds down the highway. Normally, she wouldn’t dare go over the speed limit with Benji in the car. But this is an emergency.

The amount of distance she’s already covered would usually take her fifteen minutes to weave through. She’s cranked it out in five. 

Rey’s close to the campus now, minutes away if her memory serves her right. She reads the green navigational signs and merges into a new lane. 

She only has to take the next exit, and then she’ll be there.

Rey sneaks a glance down at the clock on the dashboard. 7:45. Ben’s class starts in 15 minutes. 

Wow. Rey’s impressed with herself. She’s feeling pretty good, when all of the sudden she’s hit by the most excruciatingly painful cramp. 

Maybe it was the adrenaline. Maybe it was the shock. Who knows. But for the most part Rey’s been ignoring her symptoms pretty well this morning. 

It’s impossible to do that now.

Her body is hot and flushed. Her mating gland is throbbing persistently against her neck. Slick is beginning to drip down her leg. And a sharp, insistent pain is rupturing throughout her lower abdomen.

Yeah. She’s in heat. 

Rey’s beginning to regret all of this. She should have just stayed home. Let Ben embarrass himself in front of his class. It would have been fine. 

Rey takes deep breaths as she turns into one of the university’s parking lots. 

She’s made it this far. There’s no stopping her now. 

Rey parks the car and quickly grabs Benji out of his carseat. In a daze, she races up the nicely-manicured sidewalk, in pursuit of the English Department building she remembers touring last year. 

Chandrila University is absolutely gorgeous in the summertime. Rey runs past a sprawling lawn filled with trees, surrounded by ornate brick buildings that tower over her. The space is all anchored by an eye-catching clock tower. It’s absolutely stunning.  

Rey blinks as she races by, wishing she had the opportunity to slow down and really take it all in. 

But she can’t.

The clock tower chimes loudly, signaling that it’s just hit 8 in the morning.

Rey finally makes it to the English Department building, holding tight to Benji as she runs up the steps at a record pace. She pushes through the door and immediately stops to catch her breath.

A tall woman with lavender colored hair looks at her with great interest. Rey decides she looks nice enough to ask for help with directions. 

“Can you help me out? I’m looking for Ben Solo’s class.”

The woman parts her lips and nods carefully, clearly amused at the sight of Rey. 

“Just down this hall. Third door on your right.”

Relieved, Rey thanks the woman profusely. She races down the hall until she reaches said classroom, stopping briefly to adjust her clothing and quickly run a hand through her hair before she pushes the door open. 

“Um, Professor Solo?” 

Ben’s at a loss for words, dumbfounded. How could he have grabbed the wrong stack of papers this morning? 

Embarrassed, he looks up from his briefcase to find one of his most eager students cautiously raising her hand.

“Yes?”

The student simply points to the door. Ben turns, and somehow there’s Rey. Standing by the door in yesterday’s clothes that she fell asleep wearing, holding Benji against her chest, and clutching a stack of papers in her free hand. 

“Hi,” she says simply, causing the entire lecture hall to burst out into laughter. Rey’s cheeks warm as Ben runs over to her, mystified.

“How?” he questions. 

“It’s not important. Here you go,” she passes over the essays with a triumphant smile. “Now get back to your students, Professor Solo.” 

Ben hesitates at her touch, because it’s then when her mouth-watering, incomparably perfect scent hits him full force. It practically knocks him out. It’ll be a miracle if he’s not sent into rut.  

“You’re burning up,” he whispers, trying to maintain composure. “Rey. This is...you are...you’re in heat.” His eyes are wide as saucers. “How did you even drive here?”

Rey shrugs off his concern.

“I’m fine. It’s no big deal. Don’t worry about it.” 

But Ben is already far past worrying. 

He paces to the front of the room and addresses his students again, all who are practically on the edge of their seats. This is lightyear’s above catching a glimpse of his lockscreen before he turns off the projector. Every one of his students is positively enraptured by this turn of events.

Ben slaps the essays down on the front podium, and the noise reverberates around the room. 

“You can pick up your graded papers here. As you can probably see, I’m having a bit of a personal emergency. Class is dismissed.” 

Ben ignores the excited hoots and hollers, the shocked gasps. He even ignores the prick who whistles. 

Instead, he stalks back over to Rey, grabs her arm possessively, and all about pushes her out of the classroom. 

“But—what about Benji?” 

Ben grimaces. 

“I’ve already worked it out. I just didn’t anticipate this happening so soon.”

As they reach the building’s main lobby, Amilyn approaches. She hastily reaches for his son. 

“I just got off the phone with Leia. She’s headed here now. I can watch Benji before she gets here. Now, you two need to get out of here before any other alpha catches a whiff of her.” 

Rey looks confused—but Ben decides it’s easier to explain later. Right now all he needs to do is bring her home. 

“Thank you,” he mouths genuinely, before hoisting Rey up into his arms and breaking out into a full-fledged sprint.

“BEN! ” Rey heaves, tightly grabbing onto his neck. 

Ben runs faster, speeding down the sidewalk, uncaring of the puzzled glances they are getting. 

“Look, I know we haven’t really talked about it yet, and I hoped we’d both be in a much clearer state of mind when he had this conversation, but it looks like that’s not gonna happen.” 

Rey pulls back to look him in the eyes as he finishes. 

“You need to tell me what you want.”

Rey’s breath hitches.

“What I want?”

Ben barrels through the campus’ busy quad, heading towards his spot in the staff parking lot. 

“Yes,” Ben pants as he sets her down on his car’s hood, fumbling for the keys in his pocket. “What you want. Because you do have options, Rey.” 

He finds his keys and unlocks the car instantly, practically throwing her in the passenger seat and racing to the other side.    

“Options?”

Ben starts the car, not even taking the time to buckle his seatbelt before he speeds out of the parking lot and back onto the highway.

“Look—I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted before. You’re it for me, Rey. I’m prepared to help you through this heat all week long.” 

He sneaks a glance over at Rey, who’s sweating buckets. Her eyes are glazed over, and she’s clutching her lower abdomen. He swallows before continuing.

“But if that’s not what you want...then I will lock you up in your bedroom and make sure you’re safe as you ride this out alone. It’s whatever you want, Rey. I promise. Whatever you want.”

He speeds down the road, driving more recklessly than he ever has before. They’ll reach the neighborhood any minute now. 

Ben needs to know if he has to fight through every single one of instincts and compose himself, or if he can give in to his most carnal desires and roughly drag her up to his bedroom, where he’ll fuck her—where he’ll knot her—all week long. He will do whatever she wants. Whatever she chooses.

He just needs to know. 

Rey gasps as he sharply turns the corner into the neighborhood. Not much time is left. Ben needs her to answer him. 

“Rey,” he says calmly, gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles have turned white. “What do you want?”

He looks over at her again, and sees that she’s stripped herself from the waist down. She’s in the process of parting her folds, of sticking one of her tiny fingers up inside her tight channel. Ben chokes on nothing, completely captivated by her.

“You,” Rey finally admits, meeting his gaze head on. “I want you, Ben. I want you to help me.”

Ben swallows. He has to make sure. 

“Help you do what?”  

Rey groans, moves to grasp his bicep. 

“Help me through my heat. Fuck me. Knot me. Please. I need you.” 

Ben exhales, eyes stormy as he allows his alpha to fully take over. 

That was all he needed to hear.

Chapter Text

Ben haphazardly parks as soon as he turns into the driveway. 

Two tires end up in the front lawn, but it’s the farthest thing from his mind. He practically slings the car’s door off its hinges and races over to retrieve Rey from the passenger side. 

She jumps into his arms, already rubbing herself against his pants and feeling the way his cock pushes against the zipper.

“Mmmm. Alpha. I need...”

Rey trails off, distracted by the way he presses kisses against her nape. Ben breathes heavy as he locks the car and bolts inside the house, clutching her tightly against him. He’s done restraining himself.

“I know what you need, baby. You need this big fat cock up inside you, need my knot to lock you to me. Need my come. Right?”

“Yes,” she whimpers. “Need all that. Now.” 

Rey’s omega has fully taken over. She strips off both her shirt and bra without a second thought, allowing the garments to fall unceremoniously onto his floor. Ben stutters in his movements, absolutely captivated by the sight of her naked in his arms. He growls, locks his front door before flying up the stairs and into his bedroom. 

Ben throws Rey on top of his comforter as fast as he can. Rey squirms, whining about how much she needs him, and Ben begins to rip his own clothes off. He’s frantic, and his fingers have a hard time maneuvering the tiny buttons on his shirt, but he gets out of the tailored-fit long sleeve eventually. 

When he’s fully undressed, Ben crowds himself on top of Rey and presses sweet kisses to her sweaty forehead. Wow. She really is burning up.

“How are you feeling?”

Rey sniffles.

“It hurts.”

She clutches her lower abdomen and looks up at him with wide eyes. 

“Please help me.”

Ben shudders, kisses her gently before he starts to line himself up. Finally. He’s fantasized about this moment every single night for weeks now.  

But Rey looks down at his cock and swallows, eyes wide. She grasps his shoulders, hides her face in his neck like she’s nervous all of the sudden, and Ben stops moving at once.

“Rey? You OK?”

“Mhm,” she insists, panting. “It’s just...I’ve never…”

She continues to hide her face from his view, to rub herself up against his chest.

“Never what?” Ben prompts, desperate for her to continue. He has a guess. A dream he never dared to think true. But, oh. Could it be? He swallows and gives it a try. “Spent your heat with someone?” 

Rey looks up at him and nods, but there’s something more behind her eyes. It leaves him soft, almost speechless. 

“What is it, baby?”

Rey exhales before she answers.

“I’ve never done this... ever.”

Ben didn’t know it was possible to feel this much bliss. He pulls Rey even closer to him, joyous tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.  

“You’re perfect,” Ben whispers, kissing her everywhere in sight. “You waited for me.”

Rey preens, so happy to have pleased him. She smiles up at him like he’s her entire world, like there’s nobody she’s ever wanted more. Ben trembles as he lowers himself down to rub against her slit, continues to praise her. 

“I have the best omega. My precious girl. Did so good, waited all this time.”

He brings the head of his cock to press at her opening, trying so hard to resist the urge to plunge right into her little delicate body. Rey whimpers softly as he moves against her, and Ben pants, slides his hands down to her hips and slowly begins to push inside.  

“It’s not gonna fit,” Rey moans, and Ben pulls back again. “You’re too big. Look, alpha.”

Ben looks down at his leaking cock, all angry and purplish-red, desperate to be inside of her. He understands that it probably looks intimidating, all eleven inches of it aching and throbbing against her slit. 

Rey doesn’t seem scared of it, though. Not with the loving way she rubs against it, the way she writhes. She seems to be worried that she won't be able to take it all. That she will disappoint him, somehow. 

Ben kisses her sweetly on the lips, caresses her cheeks in his hands. 

“It will, baby. It will. You’re made for me. Made for this. It will fit. All of it.” 

Rey blinks up at him.

“It will?”

“Yes,” Ben insists, nodding furiously.  

“Made for this,” Rey repeats as she arches her hips to rub her cunt against his cock, “Yes. Made for you. Oh, alpha. Now. I need it. Now. ”

Rey sucks in a breath of anticipation and spreads her thighs even further apart, gazing up at him with adoring eyes.

Ben will never forget the sensation of thrusting up inside her tiny little body for the first time. His cock is almost the length of her forearm — and Rey is a virgin — but still it slides into her with perfect ease. No resistance whatsoever. She rejoices, lets out the most heavenly moans as he fucks her against his bed, as her cunt clenches around his thick cock. 

“Gonna have you tied up on my knot for days, baby—oh. ”       

Ben’s every exhale is laced with a satisfied moan. He rubs a hand over her stomach and feels himself inside of her, stuttering in his movements at the sensation. 

“You were right,” Rey sighs, smiling blissfully up at him. “Made for this. So good. Feels perfect.”

Her muscles strain around his length, pulsating and contracting in a way that makes him lose his mind. He can feel her heart fluttering, and knows that his is probably beating just as hard. Ben simply kisses her, and hastens his pace as pheromones swirl in the air around them. 

“We can do this every day,” he promises. “Every day. You like that? You want that?” 

Rey nods, begins to match his movements by thrusting with him. Her cheeks flush pink as she grabs at his hair, as she laces her fingers through it. Ben holds her hips with both hands again, rests his weight on one of his elbows. He kisses his way up her neck, leaving marks in his wake. When he noses against her throbbing gland, Rey shivers. It sends Ben into overdrive.  

He slams into her hard, hips jerking as he shoots stream after stream of his cum up inside. He pushes into her as deep as he can, emptying himself with a desperate moan. He drives unbelievably further and his knot swells, locking him in place behind her pelvic bone.

Ben heaves, overwhelmed. Rey kisses him on the lips, wiggles against him. It draws out even more cum, and they both sigh at the feeling. 

“My alpha,” she whispers, before nestling against his chest. 

Ben shudders, wraps his arms fully around her.

“Yours.”

Ben refuses to pull out of Rey. 

He won’t do it. 

Not even when his knot deflates. Not even when they’ve finished a round. Not even when they take a moment to rest. Especially not then. That’s the best part. To just be warm inside her, all tight and comfortable and still. 

Ben’s already lost count of how many rounds they’ve gone. He was keeping track at first, but once it got into the double digits he figured it a pointless exercise. There is just so much more to focus on.

He hasn’t even gone soft. Not once. Simply remains hard as steel inside her. It’s heaven. He doesn’t know how he’ll ever find the strength to pull out. Can’t bare the thought of not being a part of her anymore. Maybe he’ll be able to in a day or so. 

Maybe.  

Hours go by in minutes like this. Ben simply keeps his massive body overtop of Rey and remains sung inside, thrusting real soft and gentle, in love with how hot and tight it feels. This is where he wants to be always.  

But eight hours in he begins to relent, suddenly aware of how long they could go at it like this if he let them.   

“We should try to get some sleep,” Ben whispers against her neck, peppering her with sweet kisses.

Groggy and drunk off of him, Rey shakes her head.

“No. More. I need more. Need you.”

She starts to move her hips, and Ben, well. He is so weak. So enamored. So quick to give in. 

“You have me.” He kisses her again. “My omega.”

Rey’s eyes open at that. 

“My alpha,” she coos. “You’re my alpha. Mine.” 

“Forever.” 

Rey smiles bright, kisses her way up his neck before whispering two words close to his ear. 

“Mate me.”

And Ben comes instantly. His knot locks firmly inside of her again.

“Rey—”

“Mate me. You said forever. Do it now.” 

His eyes roll into the back of his head. This is all he wants. What he’s dreamed about for weeks now. Ben looks down at the throbbing gland that protrudes out of the side of her neck. Rey presents it so sweetly for him, wraps her hands around his head and pulls him in close, pulls him right against it.

“Do it, alpha. Please. ”   

He grinds up against her clit, and then Ben can’t stop coming as he changes the angle and drives in even harder, thinking about nothing but spending the rest of his life with Rey. There’s nothing he’s ever wanted more than to bite down on her gland.  

But he can’t.  

It’s not right to mate her without knowing it’s what she actually wants. Sure, heat-ridden Rey loves the idea of being mated to him. Of course. But what about his everyday girl? 

Ben looks down at Rey, sees her gazing up at him so passionately, and he has to shut his own eyes and shiver.  

“I want to, baby. I do. But I can’t. Not right now.”

He kisses her again, thrusting more steadily now. Rey pouts, puffs her bottom lip out dramatically.

“You lied?”

“What—”

“You—you don’t want me?”

Rey attempts to maneuver herself away, and Ben sees red. He pulls her closer than ever before.

“NO. I want you. More than anything. I just can’t mate you right now. You’re not thinking straight. Soon, baby. I will soon.”

Rey isn’t satisfied by his answer, sulks against him. 

“Now, alpha. Why not now?” 

Ben grimaces, musters the last bits of his strength in order to not give in and mate her right then and there.     

“Because, baby. Trust me. We have to wait.”

He looks down at Rey, and sees that she has started to cry.

“I don’t get it.”

Ben hushes her, kisses her deeply. 

“I know.”

More tears fall down her cheeks. 

“She said we were made for each other. Do you not feel it? Do you really not want me?” 

Ben tightens his grip around her waist and fumes at the mere suggestion of him not wanting her, desperate to understand what she’s revealed.

“Who said that?” he asks, pounding even harder into her. 

Rey’s all too silent now.

“Who said that, Rey? Who?”

“M--my doctor.” 

Ben knows the legends about soulmates. He’s never even allowed himself to dream that he’d find his. That he’d have one.

“She did?” he whispers.

“Mhm.”

Ben comes again at the confirmation. He looks down at the irresistible omega writhing underneath him, and sighs at the rightness of it all. She is his soulmate.

He dips his head down to mouth at her gland, and Rey cries out in ecstasy. He sucks on it, licks, does everything except bite. He wants to. So badly. Especially now.

But he can’t.

It’s agonizing. 

So Ben does the next best thing. He shifts his mouth to the left a bit and bites down, breaking the skin and just missing her gland. 

He kisses his way back and continues mouthing at her gland, pretending like he’s bitten there instead. It doesn’t do anything to persuade Rey, however, and leaves him feeling less than satisfied.  

“Alpha, you missed!” 

Rey buries herself against his chest and whines. 

“Shhh. I know.”

It’s heartbreaking, the way she pleads for him to mate with her. There’s nothing he wants more. 

“Soon, omega,” Ben promises. “Soon.” 

He would keep her in this bed forever with him if he could. He’ll stop at nothing to prove it to her. 

Rey wakes, her stomach rumbling and slick piling up between her thighs.

Alpha? She looks around, but can’t find him anywhere. Oh no. For a moment, Rey fears he has left her all alone.

But Ben arrives seconds later with a tray full of food, squashing all her worries away.

“Hi baby,” he smiles, leaning down to kiss her on the lips. Rey deepens the kiss immediately, guides him back down to lay with her. 

“I thought you left,” she whimpers when they finally part.

“Never,” Ben promises. “Now open up. You haven’t eaten in three days. That’s my fault. I’m supposed to protect you. Keep you nice and fed.”

Rey jumps into his lap, attempts to maneuver herself back onto his cock as he reaches for the bunch of grapes on the tray of food he brought.

“You have to eat, OK?” he insists. “Then we can play some more.”

Rey huffs. 

“Can’t we play while we eat?”

She wraps her arms around his chest in the way she knows Ben likes, rubs her dripping slit up and down his straining cock. 

He sighs.

“Of course.”

Rey smiles, victorious, as she sinks down onto him. Her cunt clenches, and she’s certain that nothing will ever be better than this. Her muscles flutter as he fills her in just the right way. It’s an indescribable type of bliss, a feeling she never wants to end. 

“Now open up,” Ben coos, hovering a grape right outside her mouth. She lets him place the sweet fruit on her tongue.

“That’s my good girl,” he praises as she bites down and chews, quickly swallowing now that she’s become more aware of the extent of her hunger.  

Ben continues to feed her until there’s only one grape left in the bunch. When he places the final one onto her tongue, she closes her mouth around his thick fingers and sucks. Rey uses her back molars to bite down on the grape, tastes the burst of juicy goodness that explodes over her taste buds, and gladly continues to suck Ben’s middle and pointer fingers.

He doesn’t tell her to stop. Instead, he only increases the intensity of his thrusts up inside of her, swirls his fingers around in her mouth.

“Does that taste good?” he croons, voice unbelievingly deep. “Do you like that?”

Rey nods, releases the fingers from her mouth. 

He ghosts a smile, presses a chaste kiss on her lips before he leans back over to the tray of food. Ben picks up a couple slices of cheese and feeds them to her in a similar way he did the grapes, this time holding the tiny squares right outside her mouth as she nibbles. 

It goes on like this for a while, until he’s finished feeding her all the cheese as well as some sliced apples and charcuterie meats. Maybe it’s ham, maybe salami. She’s not entirely sure. Only knows that he feeds it to her with such care. 

It is nice to be taken care of. To be held, to be fed. Rey wants this to be her forever, thinks that if this were all life is she would be content in that eternity. No — more than content. She would be delighted. Thrilled. Overjoyed. 

“Alpha,” she whispers, blinking up at him.

“Mhm?”

“I want this every day. Please mate me. Please.”

Ben groans, almost as if in pain.

“I wish I could, baby.”

Rey huffs, beyond frustrated. So she does the only thing that makes sense in the moment. 

“If you had a mating gland,” she starts, angling closer to the spot where his neck meets his shoulder, “it wouldn’t even be a question.” 

Rey kisses the spot with such care, teases him with a few nibbles, before biting down and breaking the skin. More of Ben’s come pumps into her at the action, and it causes her clench around him. 

“You’d be mine right now,” Rey says wistfully, eyeing the mark she just gave him. “All mine, alpha.” 

Ben shivers at her words, grabs her face and kisses her deeply. She reciprocates, and they stay like that for a long while. 

When Ben finally pulls away, he keeps her head in his hands and looks at her, serious. 

“I’m already yours.”    

Rey comes back to herself slowly and then all at once.   

It is the little things that clue her in. That let her know it’s over. 

For one, she now feels how crusted her legs are from the dried cum and slick. Yeah, she needs a shower. Pronto. 

Ben’s bed sheets are completely drenched. Unsalvageable. If he doesn’t have a slick pad under there somewhere, he may have to throw the whole mattress out. 

Also — she’s hungry. Starving. Yesterday the only thing she craved was Ben’s come. Now she could really go for a cheeseburger. 

Speaking of Ben, he’s attached to her in almost every conceivable way. Both his arms and legs are wrapped around her like a human shield. His toes curl into her skin, and she can feel the steady way he breathes into her neck. It’s almost like he’s protecting her from the rest of the world. Allowing her only him. 

What does it say about Rey if she admits she wouldn’t mind living that way? With only him. Even now, post heat.  

And oh, god. She’s so full. Filled to the absolute brim. He’s balls deep inside of her, hard as iron, though his knot isn’t locking them together. 

They slept like this, Rey realizes. With him inside. 

It makes her shiver, and the movement causes Ben to blink his own eyes open.

“Hi,” he smiles, before pressing sweet kisses into her skin. “Did you sleep well?”

Rey nods, before she asks him the first question that comes to mind.

“Where’s Benji?”

Ben simply blinks. He looks down at the sheets for a few seconds before meeting her eyes again. 

“Sorry. Not used to normal conversation.” He blinks a couple times more, swallows. “I guess your heat is over then, huh?”

Rey nods.

“I think so.”

He exhales. 

“Right. He’s at my mom’s.”

And then Ben pulls all the way out of her. 

“Oof. Wh—what are you doing ?”

Rey’s never felt as empty and vulnerable as she does right now. But Ben simply rubs his forehead and shrugs. Damn. Why does that hurt so much?  

“I just thought…” Ben can’t seem to find the words, trips over his tongue. “I just figured you didn’t need me anymore. You know. In that way.” 

Oh. No. No no no.

Rey shakes her head, brings her right hand up to caress his face. She feels the way his usual clean-shaven cheeks are now scratchy with stubble. It’s teetering on beard territory. Guess they really did do nothing but fuck for an entire week.  

“I don’t think I can go without you anymore,” Rey admits softly. “In all the ways.”

Ben looks at her like he doesn’t believe she’s real. Like she’s been plucked right from his dreams.

“Yeah?”

Rey draws nearer to him. 

“Yeah.” 

He pulls her in close, leans his forehead against her own.  

“You don’t have to. You won’t. Ever. ” 

Rey kisses him. It’s the first time she’s ever initiated something outside of her heat, and Ben almost growls at the contact. 

They fall back against the drenched sheets and lay together for a long while, kissing and caressing and soothing each other’s deepest worries.

Rey loses track of time, but notices the change in the room when dawn breaks. Soft light floods the dark space, and it illuminates Ben’s face in the most beautiful way. She kisses the moles above his eyebrow and he squints, smiling as she works her way down the length of his nose, finally landing back at his lips. He gives a raspy, guttural laugh that never leaves his throat before kissing her back.    

“Can we take a shower?” Rey asks him a bit after they part.

“We?” 

Rey blushes.

“I mean—yeah. I just figured...you know what, never—”

“Yes. Of course we can shower. Come on.”

Ben pulls her up and out of the bed for the first time in a week. Her legs are wobbly, and now that she’s paying attention she does feel a little sore. Ben notices this and pulls her up into his arms. 

 “I got you,” he whispers into her hair. Rey swoons. 

He walks them into the bathroom and sets her down gently on the counter, before moving to turn the shower faucet.

Rey takes the time to glance over at herself in the mirror, and wow. She’s glowing. A heat well spent has worked wonders. 

Her eyes travel down her naked body, and find that bruises litter her skin. Rey runs her fingers over the marks at her waist and shivers. Oh. It’s all starting to come back to her. The way she writhed. The way she pleaded.

“All ready,” Ben says, walking back over to grab her from the counter. Rey jumps into his arms instantly, and he walks them underneath the stream.

“You got it?” he asks as he sets her back down on her feet.

Rey nods, though she has to steady herself against the tile.

“Yeah. Just have to get used to it again. You know, standing.”  

Ben looks down at her and smiles.

“I did a number on you, huh?”

Rey blushes as she reaches over for the bar of soap, but Ben beats her to it.

“Let me.”

Rey can’t find it in herself to refuse. Anything for him to take care of her again. Please. 

So Ben lathers the soap up in a washcloth before softly scrubbing her body. He starts at the bottom, working between her legs and up her torso before cleaning over and under her arms. It’s when Ben gets up to her neck that he pauses. Rey can feel the washcloth drip soapy water down her shoulder. She looks up to find him staring at the mark on her neck. 

The mark he gave her when he bit down and missed her gland. 

Slowly, Ben brings a finger down to give it the barest of touches, to run up and down the quickly forming scar. 

“You know why I didn’t, right?” he whispers.  

Rey shudders.

“Yeah. I do.”

She turns to face him, looks up at him with wide eyes.

“And I appreciate it. You wanted to make sure I was ready. That I was sure.” 

Rey runs her hands up his solid chest, stopping when she gets to his shoulders. Ever so carefully she traces the mark that she gave him, and it makes Ben close his eyes.

“But don’t think that I didn’t want it.”

Ben claps his hands behind her back and pulls her into him, eyes still screwed shut. The shower’s steady stream continues to fall, coating them both in water.

“Rey.”

“Because I did. I remember exactly how I felt in that moment. So yes, I am glad you gave me the choice. Thank you.”

Ben opens his eyes again as Rey finishes.

“But you must know, you have to know. In that moment, I wanted you to mate me. I really did.” 

Ben cups her face in his hands.

“And now? What about now?”

Rey sighs. That she doesn't know just yet. 

“My life—it would change forever.”

Ben nods, doesn’t even try to disagree.

“It would.”

He leans down and kisses her on the lips, and Rey sighs as she reciprocates. This just feels so right. Being in his arms. In his bed. In his life.

“We’ll figure it out,” Ben promises. There’s hope in his eyes, and Rey’s heart clenches. “I know we will.”

Chapter Text

“Where is she?”

Ben plays dumb, simply takes his screaming son from his mother’s arms and scratches the back of his head.

“Who?”

Leia rolls her eyes as she makes her way into his house, beelining for the living room. 

“You know who, Benjamin.”

Yeah. He does. Rey walked home about an hour ago, something about needing to make it look like she’d just spent a week-long heat inside of her bedroom. But there’s no way he’s gonna tell his mom about that. 

“Love what you’ve done with the place.” The irony seeps from her like maple syrup off a stack of pancakes. Leia has never been to this house. In fact, Leia hasn’t spoken to him in over a year. Well, okay. Technically it’s more like he hasn’t spoken to her in over a year. 

Ben takes a deep breath before he follows behind his mother. She stops in front of the photos that line the mantelpiece, and he follows suit.  

“Oh, wait. This is nice.”

This, of course, is a design choice curated and produced exclusively by Rey. She’s been sneaking photos of him and Benji ever since she first began babysitting, and recently displayed the best ones proudly above the fireplace.

Leia focuses in on a photo of Ben giving Benji a bath last month. Benji’s tugging onto Ben’s hair and attempting to pull him down into the tub with him. Meanwhile, Walter sits perched on top of the toilet seat, watching over bath time as he always does. 

Even Ben can admit the photo is adorable. He blushes, remembering how Benji had splashed Rey’s tank top so thoroughly it looked like she’d bathed in the tub with him. That was a good day.  

Leia purses a soft smile before she turns to face her son again.    

“He cried the entire week. I haven’t slept in over 72 hours.” She leans down and presses a kiss to Benji’s forehead. “But I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love him. I love him, I love him, I love him, and you’re not allowed to keep him from me anymore.”

Ben works his mouth in a funny way, unsure of how to answer.

“Well, don’t look so enthused,” Leia deadpans.

“I’m not trying to keep you from him.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Mom, I-”

Leia waves him off, finished with all the teasing for the time being. She grips Ben’s forearm tightly, squeezing two times before she lets go. It’s an acquittance of sorts, and it makes Ben feel oddly at peace. This is his mom. He hasn’t actively sought her out for a little over a year. And still she dropped everything to watch Benji for an entire week with little to no notice whatsoever.

Ben looks down at Benji — who is still crying, by the way — and knows that is only the kind of love a parent could have. Could give. 

Leia starts to make her way out of the living room and back into the foyer, and the word is stumbling out of Ben’s mouth before he can help it.

“Mom?”

She turns to face him again, and he shivers. 

“Thank you.” 

She just nods.    

“Of course.” 

Ben flinches a smile. His mother’s not finished.  

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the girl, though. I can smell her on you. I can smell her everywhere, actually.”

Ben cradles his crying son in his arms and leads his mother back to the front door. 

“Get out.”

There’s no bite to his words, and Leia smirks in response. 

“Yeah, OK. Call me.”

Rain pelts against Rey’s bedroom window, a slow but steady pulse that’s a couple minutes away from rocking her to sleep. 

She’s spent the past week in a bed, and, really, if she wasn’t so tired she’d be anywhere else right now. Preferably out for a run. Maybe on the back porch with a book in hand. But the truth is that Rey is exhausted, and this is probably for the best. She needs to be alone right now. Needs to think.

She remembers everything about her heat. Everything. The movies make it seem like a heat spent with an alpha drives the omega mad, causing them to function on hindbrain alone with no awareness of what’s actually going on.

It would seem that this is only partially true. Because, yes, almost every action Rey took was driven by her hindbrain. But she was aware of all of it. And she wanted all of it. So badly. 

She still does.   

The thing is, Ben is a man. An actual man. With a son. And a grown up person job and a house and a mortgage and multiple credit cards and a beard he shaves every morning and a substantial tie collection and a life.

Rey is nineteen. Practically a child. She has twinkly fairy lights above her bedroom window and a bubblegum pink backpack and a high school diploma and a debilitating fear that no one will ever really love her and, if she’s being honest, no idea what she’s doing with her life.

But none of that mattered when she was in Ben’s arms. It was as if the rest of the world floated away and left them alone together, the only two living things in the universe. Nothing has ever felt so perfect as having him so near, as having him inside. 

Rey sighs. She shifts, turning so that she can stare up at her ceiling. If she squints she can still make out remnants of those old glow-in-the-dark stars she got for Christmas when she was six. It makes her chuckle, remembering how she begged for them just to turn embarrassed of them a couple years later.  

Man, she was obsessed with those little stars. Made her dad arrange them just so. Rey wasn’t tall enough to reach the ceiling, and he was nice enough to indulge her. It was a painstakingly long process. Rey has always been very particular. 

That feels like a lifetime ago now.

She allows herself a small smile, shifting back to the side and hiding underneath her comforter.  

The rain continues to fall, and with it she finally drifts to sleep.

“Honey? Are you awake?”

Rey sleepily blinks as her mother creaks the bedroom door open. 

“Can I come in?”

“Mhm.”

Rey’s mom holds a glass of water in one hand and a bowl of strawberries in the other. 

“Figured you might need something to eat.” She sets the glass down on Rey’s bedside table and joins her daughter on the bed.

“How did it go?”

Rey rubs at her eyes and dives in for a strawberry. She gulps down the first bite, thinking of how to best answer her mom’s question. How did it go?  

It was life changing. Earth shattering. Mind blowing. “Fine,” she eventually says. 

“Oh? Well, I guess that’s good. Last cycle you said it was the worst week of your life.”

Rey wants to be done with this conversation.

“Yeah. I dunno. It wasn’t so bad this time.”

Rey grabs another strawberry and prays to whoever’s listening that she isn’t blushing. 

“Well, your dad and I got back from the hotel a couple hours ago. I think I’m gonna head to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner. I’m really surprised you didn’t eat more, the fridge is just about as stocked as it was when we left last week.”

Rey gulps. Her mother continues on. 

“Anyway, Mr. Solo called. He said that Benji has really missed you and that he could use some help putting him down to sleep if you were feeling up to it.”

Rey’s stomach does a million backflips.

“If you’re not up for it, he said he totally gets it.”

Rey takes another bite of the strawberry, eating her way up to the green stem. She’s never been more thankful to have beta parents, because there’s no way she’d be able to explain the spike of pheromones she just released. 

“Yeah. I think I’d be up for that.” 

Rey’s key doesn’t even make it in the hole before Ben’s thrown the side door open and pulled her into his arms.

“Oof, Ben, hold up—” Rey squirms, trying to wiggle her arms out from under his tight grasp, but the man’s strong and persistent. He holds her flush against his chest and presses scorching kisses up the length of her neck, stopping only when he reaches her lips. He flashes the happiest smile she’s ever seen him give, full teeth and everything. 

“You’re so cute,” Rey breathes, before kissing Ben right on those lips of his. He slowly loosens his grip, allowing her to rest her arms on his shoulders and thread her fingers through his hair. 

They stay like this for a long while, intertwined and kissing in the kitchen, before Rey hears the screams. She pulls herself off of Ben at once. 

“Oh my god.”

“What?” he questions, chasing after her lips for more. Rey slides down and off of Ben. He grabs after her, but it’s useless. She’s already halfway up the stairs and on her way to the nursery. Ben has no choice but to follow.  

“I thought that was just a ploy to get me to come over,” she whispers. 

“Well, I mean. It was, but—”

Rey pushes the nursery door open and Benji reacts almost immediately, exclaiming in pure delight. “I wanted to get some time in before he stole you away,” Ben finishes with a pout.  

Benji stands straight up in his crib, his entire mood shifting in an instant. He jumps up and down, babbling excited gibberish. Rey grabs him and the boy relaxes into her arms, perfectly content to be held by her. 

“He may like me even more than you do,” Rey jokes.

Ben grimaces. “Not possible.”

Rey just laughs, leans up to kiss Ben on the lips again. “I’m just joking.” She peers down at Benji. “You see how easy it is to get your daddy all riled up?” 

“Rey,” Ben warns. 

“He can be such a grump sometimes. But we like him anyway, huh? Yeah. We like him anyway.”

Rey nestles into Benji, delicately rubbing her nose against his. The boy giggles and drools, enamored with her. She kisses the tear stains on his chubby little cheeks, and pulls him tight against her chest.  

“Whatever,” Ben shrugs, feigning annoyance. He moves to cup Rey’s ass, squeezing tight before he pulls away. “Take your time. Come and get me when you’re done in here.”   

Rey rolls her eyes. “I think daddy’s jealous,” she says to Benji. “Do you think daddy’s jealous?”

“I can’t hear you,” Ben insists, holding his hands over his ears. “La-la-la-la-la!”

Rey shakes her head.

“Oh, Benji. I’m afraid your daddy might be a bigger baby than you.” 

Ben’s eye twitches. He leaves the nursery without another word. Rey just rolls her eyes and looks down at the precious little boy in her arms. 

“But we like him anyway, right?” Benji giggles. “Yeah. We like him anyway.”   

When Ben told Rey to take her time, he didn’t mean this much time. He’s been waiting for over half an hour, flipping through TV channels and hardly paying attention to the screen. 

Another minute goes by and Ben groans, fed up. He treks back up the stairs and peeks into the nursery. 

Oh.  

There Rey sits, nestled up with Benji in the rocking chair. They’re both sleeping soundly, holding each other tight. 

Ben’s heart just about bursts. It’s adorable. Before he can think better of it, he pulls out his phone and snaps a picture. He wants to remember this.

For a moment he just stands there and watches them. His two favorite people. Together. 

After a while, Ben leans down and carefully extracts Benji out of Rey’s arms. He lays his son down in his crib with a kiss on the head and exhales.

Just then, the rocking chair creaks.

“Sorry.” Ben turns his head to find a groggy Rey rubbing her eyes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Ben smiles down at her. “Come here.” He pulls Rey up and into his arms, pressing a chaste kiss to her temple. “I missed you,” he whispers into her skin.

Rey pulls back to look at him, a bit dazed. 

“I was just here.”

“But then you left.”

Rey looks down at the floor. She brushes her fingers lightly against his own before she responds.

“I’m gonna have to leave again.”

Ben doesn’t answer. Instead, he pulls her out of the nursery, down the stairs, and into the living room. He makes himself comfortable on the couch before draping Rey atop his legs. It’s silent for a few moments as they breathe together. 

“So your mom watched Benji?”

Ben tenses. 

“Yes.”

“She lives close?”

“Yeah. I don’t — I hadn’t spoken with her in awhile, but she was the only person who could’ve watched him for this long. She was thrilled to get the call.” 

“Oh.” Rey blinks. “I guess you won’t be needing much of me anymore, huh?”

Ben looks at her like she has three heads. She clarifies. “To watch Benji.”

“Rey, I only called my mom because I had to. I would’ve gone the rest of my life without doing it. But…”

He swallows.

“You needed me. I had to be ready for you.”

Rey looks up at him with those eyes of hers and Ben doesn’t know what to do. He’s reminded of their earlier conversation. It’s quiet for a few moments. 

“I don’t want you to leave,” Ben eventually admits. “I know you have to. But I keep thinking about what it would be like if you didn’t. If you never did.”

Rey just nestles further into his chest. 

“Let’s not do this now,” she finally whispers. “Can we just…” Rey sighs, looks up from his chest to meet his eyes. “Hold each other?”

Ben pulls her ever closer. “Of course,” he says. 

All Ben wants to do is hold Rey. All Ben wants is Rey. 

Forever. 

The long grass sways in the steady breeze. So does her hair. Rey lays against the checkered blanket, her sundress riding up as she splays out to gaze up at the clouds. Benji crawls over her chest, cooing about something, and Ben sits propped up beside her finishing his sandwich. 

They’re out in the meadow near the neighborhood's duck pond having a picnic. Today is Ben’s day off, so, technically, it’s also Rey’s day off, but there’s nowhere Rey’d rather be at the moment.

“Oh, look! A ladybug.” Rey points to the insect crawling up her leg. “Do you see that Benji? That’s a ladybug. Can you say ladybug?” Rey stretches it out phonetically, but the best Benji can do is mumble something that sounds like “Gagababado.”

“Well, maybe next time.” 

Ben just laughs. 

“We should probably get him to say easier words before we get him to say ladybug. Like Dada. Or Rey.”

Rey’s heart thrums at the idea of Benji saying her name. “Wow. It’s gonna be so fun to hear Benji talk. And also weird. But mostly fun.” 

“He should be saying real words already,” Ben insists. “I’m only a bit worried. And, by a bit, I mean I’ve never been more worried about anything. Ever.”

“Hey. Benji is a genius, remember? He probably knows how to say every single word and is just messing with us.” 

Ben shakes his head before he finishes the last of his sandwich. He lays down next to Rey on the picnic blanket, scooching so close she can feel the comforting heat his body emanates. She grabs for his hand, and he takes it immediately.

“When is Benji’s birthday anyway?”

“October 10th.”  

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“It’s just...I’ll miss it. I wanted to be here to celebrate with him. But I’ll be back in school by then.”

Rey thinks about how hard it is going to be to leave come September. How much she will miss them. Ben shifts even closer to her, his expression hard to read. He changes the subject. 

“And when exactly is your birthday?”

Rey smiles.

“August 2nd. This year I turn twenty.” 

Ben swallows. Rey watches his throat bob. It makes her blush. She decides this might be a good time to ask him something she’s been wondering. 

“So….how old are you?”

Ben nervously shuffles Rey’s fingers around before he answers the question. 

“Thirty-two.”

Something inside of Rey sings at the confirmation. She knew Ben was older than her, but to know exactly how much older...yeah. It does something to her. Her lack of immediate response seems to have worried Ben, however.  

“Does that…” Ben tries again. “Is that going to be a problem?”

Rey moves to cup his cheeks before she shyly shakes her head no. 

“It’s actually kind of hot.”

Ben’s full on blushing now. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. A handsome, older alpha wants to spend his time with me. Mmm.”

“Rey,” Ben warns. “Benji.”

That is all he says. What he means:

My son is here. Rey. We can’t do anything while my son is here. We are not alone. Don’t call me alpha again, because I won’t be able to restrain myself. Please. For the love of god. Stop.

She gets all of that from the tone of his voice. From the look in his eyes. Fine. She won’t take it any farther. Still. She smiles and kisses him on the lips anyway.

“My parents work late tonight,” she whispers against his lips. And Ben groans.  

They put Benji to sleep rather quickly.

It’s Rey who initiates this time. As soon as the nursery door is shut, she jumps up into Ben’s arms. 

“Hi,” she says cheekily, before kissing him. Startled, Ben immediately wraps his arms around her, supporting her body completely. It allows Rey to focus on other things. More important things. Like Ben’s lips. Ben’s neck. Ben’s ears. Ben. 

“I’m glad you shaved,” Rey says as she breaks to take a breath. “So smooth.”

Ben chuckles as he leads her into his bedroom. 

“Like the new comforter?” he asks, carefully setting her down on top of his bed. Rey nods as Ben tugs his shirt over his head. The motion is swift and skilled. Rey rubs her legs together in anticipation. “Tonight I’m thankful for express shipping.”

Ben joins her on the bed, taking hold of her waist and pulling her against him. Rey runs her hands over his wide chest and unwittingly makes a little breathy sound. She refuses to meet his eyes as she continues to trace his muscles with her fingertips. “I’m surprised your mattress made it out alive,” she admits after a few moments.

Ben kisses under her neck, working his way down and across her collarbone. It feels—yeah . Like everything she’s been missing from the moment her heat ended, from the moment they had to return to real life.  

“Now that you mention it, I should probably invest in a mattress with a better slick pad,” Ben muses. “If your last heat was any indication, I’ll need one of the heavy duty ones.” 

Rey shoves Ben a bit, temporarily embarrassed, before giving in with a little laugh. She moves her hands down to the front of his jeans, pulling at the zipper teasingly.

“I want to see you,” she whispers. “Please.”

Ben doesn’t leave her in wait. He pulls both his jeans and his boxer shorts off in an instant. 

Rey blinks, staring down at his body. His cock twitches under her careful gaze. It makes her shiver to see him so ready for her. Makes her needy. But—the thing is—Ben is huge. She knew this already. She has anticipated this, dreamed about this. His cock is long and thick and throbbing, leaking, even, as she stares down at it. 

But the last time Rey took it she was on her heat. Her slick is what made it possible for him to push inside. Yes, she’s wet for him. Positively dripping. But will it be enough?

Rey swallows.

“What is it?” Ben whispers, worried.     

Rey looks up to meet his eyes as she answers. 

“What if you don’t fit? In me, I mean. It’s just—you’re so...”

Ben swallows. Blushes. He takes a deep breath. 

“I’m an alpha, Rey.”

It’s Rey’s turn to blush.

“I know. But still.” She swallows. “There is no way you are all this big.”

Ben lets out a groan, hides his face in her hair.

“I…” He presses a kiss against her forehead. “God, Rey. I don’t know what to do when you say stuff like that. When you remind me that I’m all you’ve ever had.” 

At his words Rey’s entire body thrums. She shifts to sit in his lap and rubs herself against him. “Stuff like what?” Rey asks innocently. “Stuff like how big you are? Stuff like how much you fill me up? Because you do. To the brim.”

Ben shudders. 

“Look, Rey. I know it’s easier to take when you’re on your heat. We don’t have to if you don’t want—” 

Rey stops this train of thought all together. 

“I want you, Ben.” She’s a bit nervous, but mostly excited for him to be inside her again. “I just hope I can take it.”

The mood shifts. Ben digs his fingers into her waist, no doubt bruising the skin. It leaves her breathless.

“I’ll make you take it,” he says, voice all low and rough. Rey moans at his words.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” It’s final. End of the conversation. Rey’s heart beats wildly as Ben moves to pull her sundress over her head. She shifts out of his lap and lays next to him in just a simple bralette and panties.

“Look at you,” he breathes, moving to play with the wet spot between her legs. “So perfect.” Ben dances with his fingers, moving them around her most sensitive area. He rubs. Twists. Touches. Encouraged by her noises, Ben keeps at this for a while before he finally pulls the wet garment down and off her body.

Rey decides to speed things along. She unfastens her bralette and throws it away haphazardly, eager to feel Ben skin to skin.

“Ready?” Ben asks as he crawls overtop her. She whines, feeling the way his cock presses insistently against her stomach. “I’ll go slow,” he promises, lining himself up and stroking his shaft along her slit. Her body throbs at the contact, releases an abundance of new pheromones. Ben reacts accordingly. His face scrunches up as he’s hit with the fresh wave of her scent, and he stumbles, almost loses his balance. “A little bit at a time. You let me know how it feels.”

Rey nods and that’s all it takes for Ben to press inside, slowly, inch by inch.

It is like nothing else. It is not better than heat sex, not necessarily, just simply different. She feels the same amount of pleasure, as he is an alpha and she is an omega and they are made for each other. But there is something more primal about this. Satisfying in a different way. Her body is not helping like it was during her heat, where she just about sucked him in like a vacuum. No. There is much more resistance now. Ben is breaking her open.  

Finally Rey looks down, blinking at what she sees. Oh. She could’ve sworn Ben was further inside her already, but he’s not even halfway there. She watches him press in another inch, watches his cock slowly sink down into her. “Fuck,” she breathes, mystified.

Ben kisses her nape. “You’re taking it, Rey— you’re doing it. Look. I’m halfway there.” Rey pants, nods as she continues to watch him sink inside of her. “Look at you take this big cock. You’re writhing.”

“Mmm,” Rey whines and squirms. Ben curses, pulling her even closer before he sinks to the hilt in one final push. 

She is—she is floating. This is something beyond pleasure. This is more than she has ever known. Her heart flutters, her muscles contracting around him automatically, molding around his cock in a way that shouldn’t feel as comfortable as it does. The air has been knocked out of her.  It is so much at once—it is overwhelming, it is new. It is beyond reason. Rey is more than full. Stuffed. Gorged, even.

Ben kisses Rey’s shoulder and rolls his hips experimentally. They both groan at the sensation. Rey’s body clenches and grips him tight, her heels digging into the small of his back as Ben begins to rock them in the bed.

“Rey. You feel...I can’t even tell you how good you feel.” 

Ben sounds broken. He threads his hands through her own and pins them above her head, staring deep into her eyes. “I don’t want this to ever end.”

Rey is too blissed out to respond. She simply rolls her hips against his, and Ben understands. 

More. I need more. Give it to me. 

Ben pounds into Rey, pistons inside her with an intensity that is almost aggressive in its nature. His eyes never leave hers save for a blink. 

They both pant and groan and hold each other until she feels it—the press of his knot swelling inside of her. It should be impossible, there is no way she has any more room for him. And yet.

His knot balloons inside of her as he comes, filling her beyond measure and locking them together. Rey follows right behind him, so blissed out she can’t even determine where she ends and he begins. Ben presses a light kiss against her nape, right on top of her mating gland. Oh. Rey gasps at the contact, feels more of Ben’s come fill her at the motion. Maybe it never stopped filling her. She does not know. All she knows is that his knot pulses steadily, and that the feeling is so pleasurable she comes again herself.

All the while Ben continues to mouth at her mating gland. Neither of them say anything as he does this. But the silence speaks volumes. Rey knows what he wants. He wants to bite down. He wants to mate me. I might want him to mate me. Does that make me weak? I have always wanted more from life than to just be someone’s omega. But with each day that passes I question this belief more and more. 

I think I would love to be his omega. Can I want that? I think I could love him. Maybe I already do. 

Rey does not say any of these things. Instead, she looks down at the spot where they are conjoined. Ben follows her line of sight and lets out a shaky breath. Slowly, Rey unlaces one of her hands from his grasp and reaches down to graze her stomach. The fat bulge of his cock inside of her—as well as his knot—presses up against the skin. She traces the indentation of it, mesmerized. 

“Wow,” she breathes. Ben kisses her. “Yeah,” he agrees, in awe. “It’s probably gonna take a while for my knot to calm down. I...that was…” he tapers off. “Just wow.”

“Is it hot in here or is it just me?”

Ben smiles, pressing kisses everywhere he can reach. 

“It is. Shoulda turned on the fan before we started. But we were a bit preoccupied.”

Rey drags her nails up his back, scratching lightly. He groans in pleasure, and another load of cum dumps out of him. She chuckles. Sweat drips down her back, though, and while she’s comfortable with Ben inside of her she could really use a glass of water or something. Or an ice bath. 

Hm.  

“I have an idea,” Rey whispers in Ben’s ear.

“Do you?”

“It might be a little crazy. But I think mostly fun.”

Ben pulls back to look her in the eyes again.

“Yes?”

“We should go swimming. In my pool. Right now.”

Ben just looks at her, and he is not puzzled, per se, mostly just confused.

“But I am…”

“Inside me,” Rey finishes for him. “Yeah. That’s the fun part.”

“Rey.”

She takes his hands again.

“My parents aren’t gonna be home till 10:45 at the earliest. Benji is asleep. It’s perfect.”

“Rey. I am inside you.”

“Again. That’s the fun part. Nobody’s gonna see us.”

“But…” Ben breathes heavy. “They could.” 

Rey squeezes his hands. 

“Isn’t that kinda hot?” 

Rey’s reminded of the way she caught him staring at her through his bedroom window. She glances over at it, and he follows her line of vision. Ben gulps. 

“Well... yeah."

“Nobody’s gonna see us,” she insists, before kissing his chest. “But still. It’s hot to know that someone could.” 

Ben groans, digging his head into her shoulder. She turns her head and catches his lips against hers, kisses him hard. “You in?”

Ben blinks. He nods slowly. 

“I am so lucky,” he breathes out, pulling Rey tight against his chest and flipping them so that she lays atop him. “I’m gonna sit up. Wrap your arms and legs around me. Tight. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Rey does as she is told with a huge smile. Ben lifts them effortlessly from the bed, cradling her against his chest. He grabs a towel from the linen closet in the hallway before he walks her down the stairs. 

It’s dark outside, thank god, as Ben pries open the back door. 

“This is nuts,” he breathes out. Rey doesn’t disagree. He kisses her cheek before he walks them to the white fence that separates their two houses. Carefully, Ben opens the latch in the fence’s gate and enters Rey’s backyard. The porch light illuminates his face as he walks them toward the pool, and Rey can’t help the way her heart swells. He’s so handsome. 

“Ben?”

He looks down at her, eyebrow quirked as he sets the towel on a lounge chair.  

“I really like you.”

Ben smiles.

“I really like you too.”

And with those words Ben walks Rey into the pool, slowly stepping down the plastic steps and into the shallow end. He’s so tall that Rey isn’t even touching the water yet. She swoons. 

Ben wades them into the deep end, and finally Rey feels the cool water against her scorching hot skin. Rey squirms a little, adjusting, and tugs against Ben’s knot. He releases another load of cum and moans. “Rey.” His eyes are shut tight.  

“Mmm.” She kisses his shoulder. “Hold me at the waist. I wanna lay back.”

Ben nods. He pulls her waist tight against his as she falls back onto the water, floating effortlessly while still attached to Ben.

She looks up at him, and he stares lovingly back down at her. 

“I feel like I’m fucking a water nymph,” He says quietly, with traces of awe. “A siren. A mermaid or something.” 

Rey smiles softly. “I’m just a girl.”

Ben frowns. 

“You’re not ‘just’ anything,” he says after a moment. “You’re everything.” 

Rey does not know how to respond. Ben doesn’t seem to be waiting for an answer. He simply spins her around in a circle, smiling at her elated surprise. She can feel the way her hair fans out, feel the way water laps at her ears, feel the way Ben continues to pump cum inside of her, and she sighs. Perfectly contented.

After a moment Ben pulls Rey back up against his chest. They float together and kiss, still connected even after all this time. Rey knows that this means something. His body does not want to leave her body. Their compatibility is...something else.   

Ben floats them over to the side of the pool, gripping the wall before he begins to rock inside of Rey again. Oh. She moans, wraps her arms around his neck and hides in his shoulder. 

When they both fall apart, it’s with loud groans that echo in the empty backyard.

Rey pulls back from Ben’s shoulder and meets his eyes. He traces over her face with an intensity that makes her shiver. 

His eyes move away from her face, then. They trace down to the throbbing gland that protrudes from her neck. Ben’s left eye twitches as he stares at it. Rey knows that he is doing everything in his power to not give into every single one of his instincts and claim her then and there.

He looks back up and meets her eyes again. Says nothing.

Rey kisses him. Hard. She puts everything she has into it. Tries to make him understand.

The kiss lasts ages. Rey loses track of time. Eventually Ben wades them out of the pool. He leans down and picks the towel up off the lounge chair and wraps them inside of it. 

Rey shivers from both the air on her wet skin and the look Ben continues to give her.

She wonders how long she will be able to keep resisting it. Him. 

Ben kisses her again as he walks them back inside the house. His knot remains firmly snug inside of her.

Not much longer, she finally admits to herself.  Not much longer at all.      

Chapter Text

“You ready to go?”

Ben peeks inside the nursery to find Rey on the carpet with Benji in her lap.  

“In a sec,” Rey answers noncommittally. “He wants me to read Knuffle Bunny.”

“Again?”

“He’s going through a phase.”

Ben shakes his head. He leans down to scoop Benji out of Rey’s arms, and the boy lets out a tiny wail. 

“I know, I know. Worst dad ever. But we can’t be late.” 

Rey giggles, following Ben out of the nursery and down to the kitchen. 

“It’s just...he looked so cute pointing at the book from his crib. How can I say no to that face? Look at that face. Look at it.”

Ben smiles, peering down at his son. The boy wears a onesie with a dinosaur pattern and sucks diligently on a pacifier.  

“He is pretty hard to resist.”

Rey bites her lip as she opens the pantry, pulling out the container of strawberry puffs. Ben watches as she packs a little baggie full and sticks them in the side of the diaper bag. 

“Just like his dad,” she whispers a moment later, playing mindlessly with the bag’s zipper and avoiding his eyes. She says it in a voice so hushed Ben half believes he imagined it.  

“Yeah?” Ben dares.

“Yeah,” Rey confirms, finally meeting his gaze. 

And Ben — he still can’t believe it. That she likes him. That she lets him inside of her. That she wants him for however long this will last. He flusters, spilling a bit of coffee out the top of his overfilled travel mug. Luckily it misses his dress shirt. That would have been a bitch of a stain.    

Rey just laughs at him again. It is not mean, she is never mean, but it is almost cruel. She must know. She has to know, by now, how gone he is for her.  

Rey has filled every missing piece of his life. Has made him whole. Ben bends down to give her a lingering kiss before sliding his briefcase over his right shoulder. “Come on,” he breathes. “I wanna give you a proper tour before I have to teach.”

Rey grabs Benji’s diaper bag before following Ben out the garage door and into the car. 

“Tour?”

Ben flushes. 

“Uh. Yeah. I dunno. Thought it might be fun to show you around.”

Rey buckles Benji inside his car seat before hopping in the passenger side. 

“I thought we were just picking up my car? You know, the same one that’s been parked on campus ever since the events of Heat Gate 2019?”

Ben laughs so hard he can feel the skin around his eyes crinkle. “Oh, is that what we’re calling it now?”

“You have a better name in mind?” 

Ben gives a final chuckle before he pulls out of the driveway and onto the street.

“Yeah. I do.” He takes Rey’s hand and squeezes tight, careful to keep his eyes on the road. “How about...the best day of my life.”

Rey squeezes his hand in return but doesn’t say anything. A moment later she clears her throat. 

“You mean that?”

Ben finally looks over at Rey. It’s incredible, the way she pretends not to know. She has to be pretending. Right? He’s made it so obvious. So clear. She is all he will ever want, all he will ever need. 

“Yes. I mean that.” 

Rey gulps. Ben lifts her hand to his lips and presses a light kiss against the top of her palm. It trembles in his grasp. 

They say nothing more for the remainder of the car ride. They don’t have to. 

They’ve already said it all. 

Rey finds her car right where she left it. 

She looks at the hasty parking job and cringes. It’s clear there were far more pressing matters on her mind than fitting perfectly between the two white lines.

A quick glance up at Ben confirms that he’s thinking the same thing. She’d knock that smug look off of his face if it wasn’t so cute. 

“It’s a miracle I haven’t been towed,” Rey admits. “Seriously. Look at that.”

Ben just shrugs in response.  

“I know people.”  

Rey looks at him again, incredulous. 

“Of course you do.” 

Ben pulls Rey out of the parking lot and onto the sprawling quad. Hand in hand they walk the manicured pathways of Chandrila University, with Ben stopping periodically to spurt trivia about the school. 

All the while Benji sits strapped against Rey’s chest in the Comfy Cocoon, babbling nonsense. 

“He’s close to talking,” Rey says after Benji squeals particularly loud. “I can feel it. Any day now he’s gonna say his first word.”

“You think?”

“Mhm.” 

“I hope. We’ll see.” 

Ben kisses Rey again, seemingly just because he can, and her heart bursts. He kisses her a couple more times before leading her over to the English Department building.

“Ben,” Rey says after he points out how conveniently close the campus gym is located, “I applied here, remember? I’ve already toured this school. It’s really sweet that you wanted to show me around, but I’ve seen all of this before.”

Ben nods. Then smirks.  

“Alright. That’s fair. But, if I may offer a counterpoint—” 

Ben pushes open the English Building’s front door, the air conditioning so sudden against Rey’s skin that she gets goosebumps. He leans in and whispers the last bit of his sentence in her ear.  

“You’ve never seen my office.” 

Rey’s eyes widen. She stops all of her movements and just stares up at him.

“That is true.” 

Ben meets her stare head on, and she blinks up at him a few times before squeezing his hand tightly. Oh. Oh.   

“Professor Solo’s office?” she whispers. “I didn’t even make an appointment.”

Ben narrows his eyes. The edge of his mouth quirks as he squeezes her hand back even tighter.

“Something tells me he’d be more than willing to make an exception.”

To put it simply, Ben’s office is huge .

A mahogany desk stands proudly in the center of the room. It’s absolutely littered with papers. For any regular person, a desk with so many papers stacked atop it would almost certainly be considered messy. But this is no regular person. This is Ben, so each and every piece of paper is meticulously stacked and organized in a way that makes Rey’s head hurt. But it must make sense in that big brain of his. 

The nameplate at the desk’s edge reads Benjamin O. Solo, PhD. Rey’s thighs clench together as soon as she sees it. She isn’t quite sure why reading those exact words in this context makes her hot and bothered—it’s just his name, after all—but she’s almost certain it has everything to do with the PhD at the end.    

Rey moves over to look at the walls, where she sees Ben’s many degrees hanging proudly next to a framed photo of Benji and Walter. She wiggles the little boy’s arm, catching his attention and pointing the photo out to him. He squeals in response, and it makes her heart throb.

The best part of Ben’s office, though, is the bookshelf wall. That’s right. An entire wall. Made up. Of books. Shelves and shelves of books. Rey just about combusts on the spot. She’s never been so jealous.  

Her own personal pile of books to read over the summer has been staring her down each night, making her feel guilty for not reading more but not guilty enough to stop spending time with Ben. Still, Rey is pulled to the bookshelf immediately, and Ben laughs as she lovingly runs her fingers up the spines of his collection.

“You like?”

“That’s an understatement,” she breathes, pulling a well-loved copy of Pride and Prejudice off the shelf and smelling inside the cover. 

“Mmm. Old book smell.”  

Ben chuckles as he kisses the top of her head, pulling her back to his chest and holding her close against him. 

“Take as many as you’d like,” he whispers into her hair. “I mean it. Any book you want is yours.” 

Rey turns her head so she can look at him directly. 

“Thank you,” she breathes.  

Ben smiles.

“Of course.” 

He kisses her once again before he pulls away, removing his briefcase from his shoulder and moving to stand behind his desk. “I gotta write something down before I forget. A couple changes to today’s lesson plan. Hold on.” 

Rey watches him push his long hair up and out of his eyes before sitting down. He makes a few scattered notes on a pad before huffing out a little bit of air. He’s contemplating hard, probably trying to wrest a stray thought back into existence. 

As Rey watches him, she can’t help but think about what it would have been like to be his student. 

If she had made the choice to come to this school, would she have been in his class? Would they have gotten together?

Ben looks up from his notepad and smirks. Rey blushes, turning to hide herself in the bookshelf. 

Yeah. They would’ve gotten together. It seems inevitable at this point.   

Rey shudders, picturing the relationship that could have been. Quickies in his office between classes. Riding him on top of that desk of his. Fucking against the perfect bookshelf. 

Rey’s so lost to the fantasy, she jumps when Ben pulls her into him again. 

Benji babbles nonsense, and the reminder that she has a child strapped to her chest makes Rey feel super dirty and terrible and like she is quite possibly the worst babysitter of all time. 

“What’re ya thinking about?” Ben asks, kissing her on the cheek and working his way over to her lips. 

Rey shakes her head. “It’s silly.”

“I doubt it.”

Ben tickles her on the side and she gives in. 

“I was just thinking about...what it would have been like to meet you here. In this setting. Not as Benji’s super-hot dad, but as my professor.”

Ben gulps.

“Oh?”

Rey nods, embarrassed.

“And, uh….”

Ben pulls her in tight, finding her ear again. “You think it’s hot?”

Rey nods, squeezing her eyes shut as he nibbles on her earlobe. 

“Me too,” he breathes softly. 

Rey winces, so incredibly turned on. It’s not fair. He has to teach class. She has a baby strapped to her chest. But all she wants to do is fuck him right now. The look on her face must say it all because Ben coos in her ear, kisses her all over. 

“I know, I know. Later,” he promises. 

Rey nods. Ben looks down at his watch and lets out a sigh. 

“I have to go. Kiss?” 

Rey leans up to do so just as the door to Ben’s office whips open. A girl that doesn’t look much younger than Rey lets out a yelp, frozen like a deer in headlights, before she starts frantically apologizing.

“Oh my god, Professor Solo, I’m so sorry….I just had a question about the homework and I….I thought maybe you could help before class….but I...oh, I should have knocked, oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’m so stupid, but hey look it’s your wife! And, uh, your baby!” 

Rey and Ben stare at the girl for many moments. No one blinks. It’s almost comical. 

The girl must be beyond frightened by the look on Ben’s face, as she decides to make a break for it without getting any help with her question. She just turns around and runs away without another word.

“You scared her.”

Ben huffs.  

“She barged into my office and interrupted an important moment.”

“I was just leaving,” Rey insists.

“No. You were just giving me a kiss.”

Rey smiles, shaking her head and leaning up to give him the kiss he so desires. 

“There. Happy?”

“Very,” he grins into her lips. “OK. Now I have to go.”

“Have a good class, Professor Solo. I’ll miss you.” 

Ben groans. 

“That’s something we’re going to do more of later, right? The calling me Professor Solo thing?”

Rey just laughs and pushes him out of his office. 

“Maybe.” 

“You’re killing me here,” he says, walking backwards down the hallway and toward the lecture hall.

“See you at home, Professor Solo.”

“Rey.”

She blows him a kiss cheekily and shuts the office door, sinking down to the floor and grinning like a little school girl.

Yeah. She has it bad. 

She makes it about halfway home before she realizes that the student mistakenly called her Ben’s wife. 

Rey doesn’t quite know what to make of the way her stomach flips upside down and back again at the memory of the moment. 

She just grips the steering wheel a little harder, steals a glance at her blushing cheeks in the rearview mirror, and smiles.       

“I’m gonna need you to let me flip the page—oop, there you go.”

It’s late afternoon. The sun has found a way to creep in through the nursery’s curtains, leaving the space dimly lit. Rey and Benji sit together on the fluffy rug, reading his favorite book yet again.

“As soon as Trixie’s mommy opened the door, she asked, ‘Where’s Knuffle Bunny?’”

Benji laughs at Rey’s funny pronunciation. She always makes the parents have distinct voices, and he gets a kick out of it. The boy pleasantly blinks up at her, pointing at the pages as if he’s helping Rey out. She smiles down at him before reading the next line aloud. 

This is the third time she’s read Benji this book today, and he’s not even close to being as tired as he should be. Rey sighs. Maybe she should’ve just held him in the rocking chair until he fell asleep or something. 

But Benji wanted to read Knuffle Bunny, and Rey has a hard time telling Benji no.  

Benji looks down at the current page and points to the pictures. He gurgles, like he’s attempting to read the book himself. Rey laughs. 

“Mhm. Yes, right. That’s Trixie’s mama.” 

Benji tilts his head to the side. He blinks again before looking back at Rey. 

“Mama,” he says clearly, and Rey short circuits. Her heart beats outside of her chest, eyes widening as big as saucers. 

“I’m sorry, what. Did you just….did you just say...”

He gargles, making bubbles with his spit and pointing directly at Rey. 

“Mama,” he says to her again. 

“Oh, no. No, no, no. I’m not—”

Benji just giggles and says it again. Over and over. Now that he’s started he can’t stop.  

And Rey—she doesn’t know what to say or how to feel or what to think. Benji doesn’t really know what that means. He can’t. He wouldn’t. Right? 

That’s when it hits her. Oh my god. 

“You just said your first word!” 

Rey jumps up instantly, holding Benji tightly in her arms. She starts dancing all around, twirling and jumping around the nursery. 

“You genius! You can talk! You said a real word! AHHH!” 

She showers the baby with kisses, and Benji laughs the cutest little laugh, basking in all the attention. 

After a couple more minutes of this, Rey stops dancing and looks down at him. 

“We have to keep this between us, though. You know that right?”

Benji doesn’t respond. Obviously.

Rey sighs and settles down in the rocking chair, pulling her phone out of her back pocket. She opens the Photos app and clicks on a picture of Ben. She snapped it a couple days ago right before he left for work. It’s beautiful, really. Some of her best work. Ben stands in the kitchen, leaning up against the counter. The sun filters through the window and hits his face in a way that makes him glow. 

Rey holds the phone in front of Benji, pointing at Ben.

“That’s Dada. Can you say that Benji?”

The little boy just blinks up at her.

“C’mon. Dada. Da-da. It’s not that hard.”

But Benji says nothing.  

Rey scrolls to the next photo, ready to try again. It’s a selfie of her and Ben in bed together. They’re naked. His hair sticks up all over the place, and they both look half-asleep. Ben is kissing her on the cheek, and she’s biting her lip. 

Rey blushes, skipping past that photo rather quickly.

She keeps scrolling until she lands on something more tame. It’s another selfie, but this time it’s of all three of them. Ben holds his son, and Rey leans into them both, smiling wide. She probably should have gotten Ben to take the picture, with those long arms of his, but he’s pretty camera shy. It is getting better, but she’s no miracle worker. Ben will never initiate a photo, but he will also never tell Rey no.

Rey points at the screen again. 

“Look, Benji. Dada. Can you say dada?” 

Benji points to the screen himself, finger hovering over the image of Rey.

“Mama,” he says.

“Oh my god,” Rey deflates, falling back against the chair and huffing a deep breath. “OK. Look, Benji. I don’t care how long it takes. We are not moving until you get this. It might take hours. In fact, it probably will. Are you up for the challenge?”

The little boy doesn’t answer. Instead, he wipes drool off of his face and spreads it on Rey’s arm. 

“Lovely,” she deadpans. “This is gonna be a long night.”  

Ben’s barely made it through the door before Rey barrels into him.

“Hi,” he says, chasing after her lips for a kiss. When it’s clear something else is on her mind, Ben stops in his movements. 

Benji gurgles in Rey’s arms, and Ben looks down at his watch to check the time. 

“Why is he still up?”

Rey can hardly contain herself. She holds Benji out and points a finger towards Ben. 

“Benji,” she says. “Who is that?”

Ben is—confused doesn’t even cover it. He’s shrugging off his jacket, beyond tired and in desperate need to be inside of Rey at the earliest convenience, when Benji says it. 

“Dada.” 

Ben blinks. Once, twice, then a third time. 

“Did he just?”

“He did.” 

Rey’s teeth shine brightly as she smiles at him, and Ben can’t contain himself anymore. He picks Rey up in his arms, spinning both her and Benji around in circles. They rejoice, both squealing and laughing together.  

“He did!”

Ben lets both his jacket and his briefcase fall to the floor, caring only about this new development. Benji said his first word. Benji can talk. His son can talk.

“How did this happen? When?” 

Ben kisses Rey all over, not allowing her even a second to respond. 

“Earlier today,” she says after he finishes his ministrations. “We were in the nursery. I wanted to call you, but I thought it might be a good surprise.” 

Ben presses a good fifty more kisses into Rey’s cheeks, Rey’s eyelids, Rey’s hair, before nodding and laughing in disbelief. 

“The best surprise. Ever.”

Still holding them in his arms, Ben carries Rey and Benji into the living room. He sets them down on the couch and presses a kiss atop Benji’s head.

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispers into the fluff of hair on top of his son’s head.

Their initial excitement has morphed into something more peaceful. It is quiet for many moments. 

Rey reaches out for Ben’s hand. She laces his fingers through her own, squeezes three times. He looks over at her and starts to cry.

“Ben,” she whispers, taken aback. Rey leans in and kisses the lone tear that runs down his cheek. She looks at him with worry, but he shakes his head softly. 

“I’m just so happy,” he explains. “So happy.” 

Rey nods, presses her hands against his cheeks. 

“Me too.” 

Later, after Rey heads up to put Benji down for the night, Ben follows behind to wait for her in the hallway. He leans up against the wall and peeks in through the door crack.  

“Night night Benji,” Rey says, kissing the boy on top of his head. 

“Mama,” the boy exhales in return, snuggling up against Walter. 

Ben exhales, destroyed and put back together again by this simple interaction alone. 

Another tear builds up and falls down his cheek, unbidden.  

This. This is his family. 

His everything.  

The second Rey walks out of the nursery Ben grabs her.

“Hey, whoa, hold on, gimme a sec—oof,” she musters, better arranging herself in his arms. He kisses up her neck, just missing her gland, and her body cries out. 

She takes in his face and sees his eyes shining, still so full of emotion, and her heart soars. There is so much she wants to say. So much they need to talk about. 

“I’ve been waiting to fuck you all day,” Ben just about growls in her ear. 

“Oh,” is all Rey can manage as she lets herself get swooped up in his arms. 

So, later then. Yeah. They can talk later.

“Just kept picturing you here. Waiting for me. Had to hide behind the podium, got so hard.”

Rey groans, jumping up into his arms and nuzzling into his neck. He lifts her with ease, carrying her into his bedroom as she presses hot kisses against his skin.

“I can’t believe I got Professor Solo so hot and bothered,” she whispers.

Ben stutters, looking at her desperately. 

“You minx.”  

Rey gives him a soft smile as he sets them down on the bed. Ben is the only person to ever make her feel this way. 

Sexy. Desirable. Seen.  

He makes quick work of loosening his tie, and Rey takes the opportunity to properly straddle him. She presses her body flush against his own, looking up at him with needy eyes. 

“Fuck,” he lets out under his breath. 

She brings her fingers up to his face, hyper-aware of the way his cock presses up against her, and delicately traces the outline of his jaw. His pheromones are raging, and Rey can’t get enough of it. She swears his scent gets even better every time she smells him. More addictive. It’s like he’s an aphrodisiac. Crafted for the singular purpose to bring her pleasure, to drive her crazy. 

“What do you want to do, Ben?” 

He quirks an eyebrow. 

“Is it not obvious?”

Rey hums, shaking her head. “No, no, I mean…” she hesitates. Swallows. “Do you wanna roleplay?” 

Ben’s eyes widen. Rey blushes, fearing she misread everything. 

“We don’t have to. I remember earlier you said that it was something you were into, that’s all.”

Ben is speechless. His eye twitches, lips working around like he’s piecing his thoughts together. 

“Yes. I want to roleplay. Desperately. Holy shit.”   

Rey exhales. “You had me worried there for a second.” She kisses him on the cheek, moves to lay down in the center of his bed. “So, who am I? The lazy brat who seduces her teacher for extra credit? Or the innocent goody-two shoes that gets seduced?” 

Ben blinks, mesmerized by her. 

He looks down at where she lies on his bed with a steady gaze. Slowly, he begins to drag a couple fingers up and down her arm. He’s just barely touching, leaving behind goosebumps.     

It is suddenly so quiet in the bedroom. The air has shifted. 

“Neither,” he breathes after a moment. “I think you’re little Miss Niima. Teacher’s pet. You put an apple on my desk every single day hoping I’ll notice how short your skirt is as you walk away. You’re never late because you can’t stand the thought of letting me down. Every now and then you forgo underwear. You spread your legs underneath your desk, hoping I notice. I do.”

Rey shudders, so completely turned on. Ben finishes his thought. 

“And now I’m finally gonna do something about it.”

“Ben,” Rey musters, working her fingers between her thighs.

“Uh-uh,” he corrects. “Who am I?”

Rey doesn’t understand, until she does. Oh.

“Professor Solo,” she whispers.

He nods. 

“That’s right, baby. That’s right.” 

Ben kicks his shoes off and settles against the headboard, sighing like a man who’s just returned home after a long day of work. He never finished undoing his tie, so it just lays there lazily around his neck. After undoing a couple of his buttons he pats his lap, insinuating for Rey to come and take a seat. 

“Look at you,” he whispers as she settles on his thighs. “Front row seat to today’s lecture. How’s that feel, Miss Niima? You feel special?” 

Ben presses up into her, and Rey groans.

“Good, Professor Solo. It feels good.” 

He pulls her even tighter against his hard length, and she impulsively starts to move in little circles.   

“You wanna know a secret?”

Rey nods, panting as she grinds against him.

“You’re my favorite student.”

Rey blushes, remembering to stay in character with her reply. 

“Really?”

“Mhm. But you can’t tell anyone. Don’t want to be accused of favoritism, even though it’s true. I just wanted you to know.”

Rey drags her hands up and down Ben’s chest gracelessly. She shivers as she feels his mouth at the shell of her ear. 

“You wanna know why you’re my favorite, Miss Niima?”

Rey gulps. 

“Mhm.” 

“I would be lying if I said it wasn’t because of that sweet little ass of yours. Because that’s part of it. But it’s not all.” 

Rey shuts her eyes, grabs onto his shoulders for purchase.

“It’s because of how good you are at following instructions. You listen so diligently to all of my lectures, you never miss a single thing. Such a good girl. It’s remarkable.”

Rey swallows. 

“Thank you, Professor Solo.”

Ben rests his forehead against her own. She can taste his breath, his lips mere centimeters away from her own. 

“Miss Niima?”

“Mhm?”

“Do you think you can follow all my instructions tonight?”

Rey reopens her eyes and catches sight of Ben’s heated gaze. It burns right through her, a scorching inferno. He continues. 

“Do you think you can be a good girl for me?”

Ben’s hand moves up Rey’s body until it reaches her neck. He completely covers her throbbing gland with his giant palm and squeezes. Tight. She just about comes on the spot.

“Well?”

Rey writhes, so incredibly turned on. 

“Yes, Professor Solo. I can be your good girl.”      

Ben smiles before pulling her into a heated kiss. It lasts ages, and he gets lost in it, momentarily forgetting their act. When they eventually part, Ben presses a final kiss to her forehead and sits back against the headboard. 

“It’s time for your homework,” Ben says. “Pay attention and follow all of my instructions. I want you to get a good grade. Don’t you want to get a good grade?”

Rey nods, settling back onto his lap. 

“Good.”

He thrusts up against her. 

“You feel that?”

Rey makes a breathy noise that resembles yes. 

“I want you to take care of it for me.”

Rey shudders, and Ben smiles.

“That’s right. I want you to take care of this big, hard cock. You’re a bit overdressed, though.” 

He reaches down and unbuttons Rey’s denim shorts, making quick work of the zipper and pulling them all the way off. He then pulls the hem of her shirt up a few inches and slips a hand underneath, playing with her breasts through her flimsy bralette. He pinches one of her nipples, and Rey throws her head back in pleasure. 

“So. Do you think you can take care of it for me?” Ben asks, taking off the rest of her clothes and leaving her naked in his lap.

Rey bites her lip, playing into this role with everything she has. She looks up at Ben with wide eyes, desperate to please him. 

“I know I can, Professor Solo.” 

“Didn’t think you could get my dick any harder than it already was, baby. Holy shit. Such a good girl.” 

Ben reaches down and adjusts his slacks, grimacing and mumbling something under his breath. His cock is swelling up so much it looks painfully uncomfortable. Rey decides it is time to show him just how good of a girl she can be. 

Without another word, she sinks off of his lap and slithers down so she’s face-level with the front of his pants. Ben groans, immediately knotting his fingers in her hair. 

Rey presses her palm against his bulge, feels the weight of him in her hand. He curses again, tightening his grip and pulling her forward. She decides to quit teasing and finally unzips his pants, making quick work of taking him out of his boxer briefs. 

In a matter of seconds Rey’s holding his massive cock in her tiny hands. 

“Look at that,” Ben breathes. “Never been so hard in my life. You can’t even wrap your hand all the way around it. Fuck.”

The man radiates warmth. She’s caged between his legs, but she might as well be snuggling up against a raging bonfire. His cock is heavy in her palm as she traces a finger up one of the long, thick veins that runs up the side.

“Miss Niima,” he breathes out so ragged you would think she just shoved the whole thing down her throat. Rey wonders what sounds he will make when she finally does do that.  

The head of his cock is so red and desperate for touch, it almost looks bruised. Rey can’t wait any longer. She leans down and presses a kiss right to it, brushing her lips back and forth over the slit. Ben moans loudly. 

“Fuck, you love my cock or something? Giving it a pretty little kiss like that. I think you do. You love it. Tell me you love it.”

Rey blushes. She’s no stranger to Ben’s dirty talk, but it feels different tonight. She’s positively soaked, so turned on. 

“I love your cock, Professor Solo.” 

“That’s right. You do. Good girl. Why do you love it?”

Rey blinks up at him all cutesy-like. 

“I love it because it makes me feel so good. It’s so big, the biggest I’ve ever seen.”

Ben shuts his eyes and groans again, pulling her hair so hard it hurts. He quickly lets go, afraid he went too far, but Rey simply moans, in love with the rough way he handled her.  

She sits up a bit and pulls Ben’s pants and briefs all the way down to his knees, allowing her better access. She doesn’t wait for instructions. Instead, she nuzzles even further into him and presses equally sweet kisses to both of his balls. 

“Holy fucking shit,” Ben growls, sucking down gulps of air. “I think you’re trying to kill me.” Rey misreads his reaction and pulls away, figuring it’s too much for him or something. She starts to move but doesn’t get very far. Ben knots his fingers in her hair again, directing her right to his sack. 

“Suck my balls, baby,” he breathes. “Finish what you started.”     

Rey looks up at Ben with so much desire. She gives him a nice, big grin before diving right in. Cupping his sack, Rey presses even more hot kisses, trying her very best to be gentle. He squirms, watching her kiss, lick, and nuzzle him with a look of disbelief. Rey meets his eyes as she mouths at him, blinking in an innocent way that seems to drive him crazy. Ben murmurs encouragement the whole time, telling her how perfect she is, how beautiful, how he’s gonna write her the best goddamn recommendation letter and get her on the Dean’s List every single semester. 

Eventually, Ben wrenches her back up by the hair, sputtering curses and looking crazed. His balls are gleaming with spit, and Rey reaches out to lick them some more for good measure. 

“Fuck, baby. Hold on. Don’t wanna come yet. Gotta make this last. Holy shit, you’re good at that. So good. My good girl.”

Rey decides it’s finally time to focus on the giant cock that’s leaking and straining to be touched. She wastes no time at all taking the head of it into her mouth. 

“Yes, that’s it,” Ben breathes, pressing his palm against the back of her head. He lets his pointer finger brush against her mating gland, and she almost chokes. He chuckles. 

“Sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to distract you. Just wanted to make you feel as good as I feel right now. I’ll let you focus.”

Rey meets his eyes and bobs her head up and down, drool rolling out of her mouth and down her chin. Inch after inch she swallows his cock, in love with the taste and desperate for more. Yes. More of her alpha. Rey shivers, going dizzy with pleasure.  

“You’ve got more than half of me down your throat,” Ben praises. He sounds impressed. “And you’re still going. I’m so proud. Need any help, baby?”

Rey doesn’t wanna give up. She wants to prove she can do it herself, that she can take him all, even though she knows how impossible that is. 

“I think you need my help,” he coos, and Rey reluctantly meets his eyes and nods.    

“My star pupil. Always knows when to ask for help when she needs it. Never too proud to learn something new.” 

He cups her face and helps her along, so that she’s got all but a couple inches of him down her throat. “See,” Ben says. “Look at you. Now let’s get the rest of it. Relax, baby. I’m gonna push.” 

And he does. Somehow, Rey manages to lodge the entirety of Ben’s dick in her mouth and down her throat. She’s gagging, positively dripping drool out of her mouth, but she did it. 

Ben coos, and Rey preens with his attention. She’s starting to actually feel like this fantasy is real. Like Ben is her professor, and she’s just a smitten school girl desperate to shove his dick down her throat. 

Ben runs his fingers through her hair, tickles behind her ears. He bucks his hips, rocking slowly, gradually working her throat open. After a couple minutes he picks up the pace, fucking up into her throat hard and fast. Rey keeps her mouth open nice and wide, letting him use her like this and loving the way it feels to be filled in such a new way. 

Ben sweetly drags his thumb under her lip and cleans the spit he finds there. “I think I’m ready to fuck you now,” he says confidently. “A second more of this and I’m gonna shoot a load down your throat, I swear. You have the sweetest mouth. Sweetest everything. Can you feel my knot pulsing? Wouldn’t that be a sight. Your mouth. Knotted to me.”

Rey gurgles around his length, and he shivers. Maybe she should just use her words. As if he can read her mind, Ben sweetly allows Rey up and off of him. She comes up for air, lips all red and puffy and nods. “I’m ready, Professor Solo.” 

Ben makes a noise of approval, and she crawls back on top of his lap. 

“If I’m being honest,” Rey says, clearing her throat, “I’ve been ready for a long time. Since the first day of class even.”

Ben groans, bending down to catch her lips in a desperate kiss. 

“That makes two of us, Miss Niima.” 

He presses into her slowly, and Rey clings to his chest. She will never get tired of the way he splits her open, of the way he fills her to the absolute brim. He groans, pulling her down until they’re skin to skin and he’s all the way inside. 

Rey feels like she’s entered heaven. There’s no way pleasure like this exists in this realm. She must be somewhere new, somewhere that’s only Ben. He has overwhelmed all of her senses. 

“You like this?” Ben asks in between kisses. “You like fucking your professor? You like bouncing up and down on his cock?”

Rey cries out, reaching out for the tie that’s still lazily draped around his neck and tugging hard. 

“I love fucking my professor,” she breathes. “There is nothing better.” 

He slips his fingers down to brush them against her clit, and Rey shudders, mewling and canting ever towards him. Her head is swimming, so overstimulated as she sinks down on his cock for what has to be the hundredth time. They’re going at it so fast now, the pace increasing as they come undone. 

“I know you do, baby, I know you do. Such a fast learner. This was a breeze for you. You must be gifted or something.”

Rey hides her face in his shoulder, groaning as Ben guides her up and down and hits a perfect spot inside of her. He sucks red marks on her jaw, dangerously working his way over to her gland as he circles her clit with the pad of his thumb.

She can feel his knot enlarging, recognizing the familiar tug that is beginning to lock her body to him. Rey wonders how long she will be connected to him tonight. Sometimes it lasts hours. 

That is her favorite part, she thinks. Staring into his eyes as he pumps her full of his come, resting on his chest. Connected, sated, and happy.  

All it takes is a few more strokes of his thumb and Rey’s convulsing in his lap. She moans, burying her face in his chest and clenching him so tight he groans. Ben follows swiftly behind, digging bruises into Rey’s sides and pressing her down against him as if to make sure she never leaves his lap.

“Feels good, huh?” he asks. “Coming on your professor’s cock?”

“Yeah,” Rey agrees. “Feels good.”

She kisses him sweetly on the lips, and it’s the most chaste thing that’s happened in the last hour. Ben smiles as she pulls back and stares into his soul.

 “But being knotted to him is even better.”

Ben moans at her words.

“Rey.” 

She laughs at his expression and quirks an eyebrow. 

“I thought I was Miss Niima?” 

He chuckles, presses sweet kisses to her cheeks. 

“I think we can stop with that now.” 

She pouts. 

“But I never found out what my grade was.”

Ben rolls his eyes. 

“A+. Obviously.”

“Much appreciated.” 

He shuts her up with a long, heated kiss that lasts ages. Time slows. She forgets everything. Everything but Ben. 

“That was so hot,” he finally mumbles, eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy.

“It was,” Rey agrees. She squirms around a bit and feels more of his come pump up inside of her. Ben groans at the sensation.

“Like, I don’t think you understand how hot that was. We just fulfilled one of my most repressed and desired fantasies. I feel reborn.” 

Rey just laughs. 

“Next time we get to fulfill one of mine.”

He opens his eyes at that. 

“Can’t wait.” 

Ben moves them carefully down and under the covers, making sure he doesn’t tug Rey painfully against his knot as he settles them in the sheets. She curls up on his chest and just about purrs, so content. 

“That was rougher than usual,” she comments as she unbuttons his shirt all the way. 

“In a bad or good way?”

“Oh, amazing.” She wraps her arms around his chest and nestles into him. “But maybe you should hold up on the—um. Bruises.” 

Ben swallows, eyes blinking. “I never meant to hurt you…”

Rey shakes her head. Laughs. 

“No, Ben. I like the bruises. Love them. This is just for a little while. My friends are coming next week, remember?” 

By the look on his face it is clear that Ben had not remembered. He nods anyway. Rey kisses his chest and continues. 

“I like it when you mark me. Don’t stop. This is just for right now. I mean, what would I tell them? That I’m fucking the dad of the kid I babysit, and that’s why I have bruises all over my body?”

Ben does not answer. He runs his fingers up and down her back, scratching lightly. 

“I guess not,” he finally says. His voice is far away. Distant. Rey’s eyes soften at his weary tone. 

“What is it?”

He lets out a long breath. 

“Is that all I am to you? Just the dad of the kid you babysit who you also sometimes fuck?”

Rey shakes her head roughly, wishing she could go back in time and choose her words more carefully. 

“Ben, no. How could you—how could you think that?” She blinks rapidly, trying to keep tears from falling. “Ben. You’re…” She says her next words without thinking, ramped up on adrenaline and desperate to calm her alpha down. “You’re everything I never knew I wanted.”

Ben inhales sharply. He moves stray hairs out of her face and cups under her chin, gulping like he’s searching for the right words.

“Rey. I think you’d run for the hills if I told you everything you are to me.” 

His honesty surprises her. Rey lets out a small gasp, closes her eyes as he presses his fingers sweetly against her lips, seemingly just because he can and because he wants to touch them. She kisses his fingertips as a lone tear runs down her cheek. 

“What are we gonna do?” Rey asks, at a loss for words. 

Ben shakes his head. 

“I don’t know. I just know I want you. I want you with me.” 

Rey meets his eyes and he looks away. 

“But I would never ask you to do that.” He looks ashamed at even bringing it up. “To leave school.”      

Rey swallows, her heart so close to bursting she thinks she might explode.

“I just can’t shake the feeling that you belong here,” Ben breathes. “With me. And Benji.”

Rey is strong, but she’s not strong enough to hold the tears back any longer. 

“He called me mom today,” she whispers. 

“I heard,” Ben admits. “Earlier in the hallway, when you were putting him to bed.”

Ben smiles softly, and it’s beautiful and broken and so much that she can’t even begin to characterize. He breathes out. 

“I’ve never told you about his birth mom.”

Rey shivers. 

“You haven’t,” she affirms.  

Ben laughs self-deprecatingly. “There really isn’t much to tell.” He swallows something back and continues. “It was the night of my dad’s funeral. It was late. I was at a bar, drinking my regrets away, when she approached me. She said she was looking for something to take her mind off things. So was I.” 

Ben pulls Rey even closer to his chest. 

“She was cute. A beta, so she didn’t smell like anything besides her perfume. I took her back to my apartment and we spent the night together.”

Rey shuts her eyes, wanting to give Ben her full attention but also agonizing over the idea of Ben with another woman. She snuggles tighter into his embrace and remembers that she is the one on his knot right now. 

“Anyway. She left the next morning and I thought I would never hear from her again. Nine months later I wake up to a pounding at my door. There’s a woman I’ve never seen before, and a baby who I am told is mine. His mom died shortly after giving birth. Lost too much blood. And with no parent there, they decided to name the baby after me. Benjamin Organa Solo. Junior, I guess.”

“Oh, Ben…”

Rey kisses him, then. Puts everything into it. All her heart, all her strength, all her love. He reciprocates instantly. When she pulls away, they’re both breathing hard with tear stains on their cheeks. 

“It’s just been us two for so long. I never thought….” He lets out a breath. “I never thought I would get something like this. Like you.” 

She presses another kiss to his lips, and they both laugh softly. They’re a mess. But for some reason, that doesn’t scare her anymore. She’s so happy. Still crying. But happy. 

“You have me,” she promises gently. Ben closes his eyes at the words, and she finds herself repeating them. 

“You have me.”

Chapter Text

Rey stops by Ben’s house for a quick visit after breakfast. 

It’s his day off, so that means it’s also her day off, but that doesn’t stop her from walking right in through the back door. Ben’s made it clear she’s welcome at any time.  

The kitchen smells like bacon grease. Rey checks the stovetop, and sure enough there’s an extra piece lying in the frying pan. It’s for her, she realizes instantly. Ben saved her a piece of bacon even though she didn’t tell him she was coming over. 

Rey knows it’s because of his alpha instincts. The need he feels to provide for her in any small way that he can. But she also can’t help but think it might be more than that. That it might just be Ben. Ben being sweet. Ben thinking of her. Ben knowing her.

And that makes her heart thump erratically in her chest.  

She smiles down at the pan and takes the piece of bacon, eating it up in two quick bites. Delicious. Not too soggy but not too crispy either. Just how she likes it.   

Rey makes her way over to the living room, where she finds Benji crawling around in his playpen. The boy sees her in no time, squealing happily and making grabby hands in her direction. Rey laughs and joins him on the carpet floor.

“What are you building?” she asks Benji, motioning to the toy bricks that surround him. “A tower for Walter?”

All of the sudden Rey feels sturdy arms wrap around her waist and a kiss press atop her head. “Something like that,” Ben murmurs into her hair. “Though to me it looks more like the fallout of a disaster movie where a giant whale destroys the city. But to each their own.”

Rey just laughs as Ben tugs her into his lap. They watch Benji play for a couple moments as Rey traces figure eights onto Ben’s right palm, all nestled up against him without a single care in the world. It is quiet and content and lovely, until Rey asks Ben a question she’s been wondering. 

“Who named Walter?”

Ben looks down at Rey a little incredulously. 

“Uh. I did, Rey. I named Walter.”

“That’s what I figured.” She twists her face in a funny way, leans over, and picks up the stuffed whale. “Don’t you think Benji should’ve named him? He is his best friend and all. Just saying.”

Ben opens his mouth to respond, but closes it again seconds after. 

“Rey,” he finally says. “Benji is a toddler.”

“So?”

“So?!”

“It just seems a little unfair.” She looks over at the little boy stacking up his blocks in the playpen. “Maybe Walter is actually your best friend. Since you were the one to name him and everything.” 

Ben just chuckles and pulls Rey back against his chest. “Nope,” he breathes, almost inaudibly against her ear. “Impossible. You’re my best friend.” 

Rey blushes instantly. Ben presses sweet kisses to her reddened cheeks and holds her tight. “So,” he says after a second. “What’re your plans for the day?”

Because Rey can speak Ben, she knows he’s really asking if she wants to hang out and fool around with him all day long. She chuckles and shakes her head.

“I have a whole list of errands I need to take care of. It is my day off, after all.”

Ben huffs. 

“I forgot I gave you those.”

Rey slaps at his arm playfully. 

“Hush. I have to prepare for tomorrow.” 

Ben groans, hiding his face in her neck. “Me too. A whole week with my mom.” He sighs. “I miss you already.”

“I’ll be right next door.”   

“I know.” Ben kisses her again. “I’m glad you get to see your friends.” 

Rey smiles wide. 

“Kaydel’s flying in around 10, and the boys will get here around noon.” 

Ben’s grip tightens. He hesitates before speaking again.

“Boys?”

Rey nods. “Yeah, my friends Finn and Poe. We’re all on the swim team together.” 

Ben doesn’t say anything, and Rey can’t help but think she’s upset him in some way. 

“Ben?”

“So, these guys. Are they….”

Oh god. Rey rolls her eyes. 

“Really?”

“Look, I can’t help it. I just need to know.” 

“Finn is an omega.” 

He nods stiffly.

“And Poe?”

Rey blinks. She didn’t think this would be a problem in any way, but wow was she wrong. Oh god.  

“Is an alpha,” Rey confirms. 

Ben’s eye twitches. Rey can tell he’s trying hard not to overreact.  

“Were you planning on telling me that?”

Rey pushes his arms off of her and Ben just about growls. “I mean, if I’m being honest, the thought never even crossed my mind. I didn’t think it was important. Poe’s just my friend.”

Ben’s really growling now. Rey shakes her head and runs her fingers through his hair. “Shhhh,” she whispers, before giving him a sweet kiss. He chases after her lips when she pulls away, but she resists. There’s something important she needs to tell him. 

“You’re the only alpha I want, Ben. Promise.” 

He meets her eyes. They stare at each other as Ben finally calms himself down. Rey leans in and kisses him again, finding she really does mean it, and with an intensity so strong it scares her. 

Rey plays with her fingers as Doctor Kanata checks her vitals. 

“Temperature is at 98.4,” the woman reads off the thermometer Rey’s had lodged in her mouth. “A little low, but nothing we need to worry about.”

Doctor Kanata makes some notes on Rey’s chart before sitting on her stool and wheeling closer to where Rey rests on the exam table. 

“So.” The woman clears her throat. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.”  

Doctor Kanata nods, studying Rey politely.

“The new dosage of suppressants working out so far?”

Rey bites her lip. 

“I, uh. I think so. I’ve been taking them every day.” 

Doctor Kanata narrows her eyes and places her hands in her lap.

“Interesting. And would you say they’ve successfully dulled your awareness of your boss’s scent?”

No, Rey thinks. 

“Yep,” she says instead, too fast and too certain. 

Doctor Kanata pushes her glasses up on her nose.    

“May I be frank with you?”

Rey’s eyes widen. “Of course. What’s the matter?”

“You’re covered in an alpha’s scent.” The woman narrows her eyes a bit more and continues. “It’s strong. Potent. Normally, I’d just assume it’s because you work in close quarters with an alpha. But the way you smell right now is….it is not normal. In fact, it resembles what most mated omegas smell like, actually.” 

Rey’s frozen. She doesn’t know what to say. Can’t breathe. Doctor Kanata takes her silence as a sign to keep going.

“Additionally, having discovered last month that you and your boss are so extremely compatible that any attempt to stifle designation is almost sure to fail spectacularly, I have a hard time believing you when you say that the suppressants have worked and you can no longer smell him.”

Rey gulps.

“I had hoped for a miracle. But your pheromones no longer smell like your pheromones, Rey. They still have the notes of you. But it is different now. Your scent has mixed with someone else’s.” Doctor Kanata gets up and takes both of Rey’s hands, squeezing comfortingly. “Listen, I’m not going to judge you. I’m not going to tell your parents or anything. You’re an adult. But I just need to know the truth. It’ll help me know how to best take care of you.”

Rey finally finds the courage to speak.

“And what is it you need to know?”

Doctor Kanata raises her chin and meets Rey’s gaze.

“Are you, by any chance, involved with your boss?” 

Rey’s not quite sure why she does what she does next. Maybe she’s tired of keeping the secret. Maybe, subconsciously, she’s been waiting for someone to tell. Someone far enough removed as to not ruin anything. Someone who will listen. 

Someone who cares. 

“Yes,” she whispers. “I am.”

Is it judgement that she expects? Grief, maybe? Or perhaps simply for the entire world to collapse all around her? She’s not sure. Rey braces herself, fearing the absolute worst. 

But none of that happens. Instead, Doctor Kanata just nods understandingly and revisits Rey’s chart. 

“Well, I am going to keep you on those suppressants, then. Top notch birth control. Just let me know when you two start trying and I can prescribe you something that’ll help boost fertility—”

Rey shakes her head back and forth wildly. 

“Oh, no. No no no. I’m not...we’re not...” Rey huffs. “I’m sleeping with him, yes, but we’re not actually together, together. I mean—I guess we are. But I’m still in school, and I’m leaving at the end of the summer. So that won’t be for a while. If ever. I think.”             

Doctor Kanata blinks at her.

“It’s unwise for mated omegas to travel far from their alphas,” she eventually says. “Mated couples grow strong, unbreakable bonds. Both the alpha and the omega develop instincts that don’t allow them to stray far from their mates for long amounts of time. The consequences are....undesirable to say the least.” 

Rey’s face twists up. “Who said anything about being mated?” 

She looks down at her mating gland to make sure it’s still intact. It is. Rationally she knew that already. But all of this talk of mating….oh. Yeah. It’s doing something to her. Doctor Kanata told her she smelled like she was mated earlier. Mated. There is an innate, primal part of her that preens at the word. Mate. Mated. Being mated to Ben.  

That is the stuff of dreams. Her number one fantasy. A forever she can get behind.

And it’s also exactly why she can’t get any of her hopes up. There is just...too much in question. Rey knows she has to be realistic. 

She picks at her hangnail and avoids her doctor’s steady gaze. She avoids everything, really, including the nagging voice in the back of her head that tells her to just give in. She can’t. Not yet, anyway. After school...that may be a different story. But right now she is still a student. Still so young. 

Doctor Kanata is visibly confused. “So, you’re sexually active with your soulmate, and you like him — a lot — but you don’t plan on mating with him before you leave?” 

Rey hesitates.

“I—uh. I don’t know. I mean. No. I don’t plan on it.” 

Doctor Kanata taps her pen against the counter. She swallows once, before clearing her throat and asking a question that twists Rey’s entire world on its axis. 

“Does he know that?”

It’s been a while since Ben has spent a day alone with his son. 

It is nice. He doesn’t get full days like this very often. They laugh and read and lay together. Go for a walk around the neighborhood, eat lunch. Play an awful lot of peek-a-boo.

But after a while Ben realizes that an integral part of him is missing. Rey. 

It may be unhealthy just how much Ben realizes he misses her.  

It is silly. Rey is over all the time. She was just over this morning. But even still, it doesn’t feel right without her here. Ben aches for her. Benji does too, as evidenced by his pre-nap meltdown.

So when Rey finally does come through the front door hours later, arms filled with shopping bags and hair tied up in an overly messy bun, Ben wastes no time in pulling her into his arms. In kissing her. In holding her. 

“Hi,” she smiles, folding herself out of his grasp and making her way into the kitchen where Benji sits in his high chair. Ben can’t follow her fast enough. “I was just at Target, and naturally I found my way over to the toy section.”

“As one does.”

Rey laughs as she sets the bags down on the kitchen counter. 

“And look what I bought for Benji.” Rey pulls a colorful plastic tub out of one of her many bags. She points animatedly at the sticker on the side, which shows a little boy around Benji’s age playing with what looks to be a plastic slice of pepperoni pizza and a plastic T-bone steak. 

“It’s pretend food! Cool, right?” Rey doesn’t wait for an answer, just immediately starts tearing at the plastic wrapping around the tub’s lid. “I would’ve loved something like this growing up. Now Benji and I can play pretend restaurant. Or pretend grocery store. Or even, like, pretend dinner!” 

Ben props himself up against the kitchen counter and watches Rey tear open the colorful tub. She sits down at the table and shows Benji all the fake versions of the foods, everything from a tomato that separates in half thanks to velcro and a taco shell that you get to physically put different toppings into. Lettuce and everything.

“Do you like it?” She asks the boy. 

“Mama-mama-mama-mama!” He nods and claps, reaching for the fake taco shell.

“That means yes,” Ben translates. Rey laughs, continuing to pull more fake food out of the tub. The little boy is amazed, and Ben just smiles as he watches them interact. They’re in their own little world. Ben refills his plate and eats his second helping of dinner as he listens in on their (albeit, heavily one-sided) conversation. After nearly every fake food item has been discussed, Rey turns to look at him.     

“Hey, Ben?”

“Mhm?”

“Can you dig through one of those bags and pass me the Hot Cheetos? I’m hungry.” 

Ben frowns. 

“I made extra chicken for you.” 

Rey pouts.

“But I want my Cheetos. Pleeeeaaase.”

Ben snorts and gives in. Fine. But he’s still gonna make her eat a plate of chicken later. As Ben digs around in the Target bags, he comes across a small paper bag with a CVS logo on the side. 

Ben tenses. 

He should move directly past this. He definitely should not snoop. 

Easier said than done. He lasts two seconds with that mentality. Ben looks down at the bag and reads the short description that’s stapled to the front. It says:

REY M. NIIMA

DESIGNATION SUPPRESSANT 500 MG CAPSULES

QUANTITY: 60

DIRECTIONS: TAKE TWICE DAILY WITH FOOD. DO NOT LIE DOWN AN HOUR AFTER TAKING.

Ben blinks and drops the prescription instantly, letting it fall to the bottom of the shopping bag. Rey is on suppressants. Rey is on strong suppressants. This should not come as such a shock. Of course she is. She has to be, right?

Still. 

Ben had hoped….man, what had he hoped for? For Rey to get pregnant? His cheeks redden, embarrassed at even the passing thought. 

“You find them?” Rey asks, looking over from where she sits at the kitchen table. Ben nods, finally grasps the bag of Hot Cheetos in hand. 

“Yeah. I did.”                

He stifles down all his competing emotions and hands her the chips, pressing a lingering kiss against her forehead. Rey basks in his attention, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair and kiss him properly.

“I’m gonna miss you,” she whispers onto his lips. 

Ben pulls away instantly. 

“What do you mean?”

Rey sighs.

“We’ve been over this. I won’t really be around much this week, since I’ll be hosting my friends and all that.”

Right. He keeps forgetting. There’s nothing he wants less than to disrupt the routine they’ve developed over the past couple months.  

Ben sits down next to Rey and rests his hand on her upper thigh, squeezing possessively. She opens her precious Cheetos, the sound of the air escaping the bag deceptively loud in the now silent kitchen. She eats for a few minutes as Ben pouts. After a while he decides to say exactly what he’s thinking. 

“I want to start courting you. Properly.” 

Rey looks up at him with eyes as wide as saucers, disbelief evident in all of her features. She sucks the Cheeto dust off her thumb before setting the bag down on the table. 

“You want to—what?”

“I want to court you,” he repeats. “I want to tell your parents that I’m interested in you, and I want to be with you. Eventually. And, uh. Officially.” 

He seems to have rendered her speechless. Rey just stares at him, and stares at him, and stares at him, until, eventually, she says, “We shouldn't tell my parents.”

It’s Ben’s turn to stare. He clenches his jaw and squeezes her upper thigh again before answering. 

“Why? Your mom likes me.” 

“I mean, we can’t.”

Ben blinks. 

“They’re gonna find out sooner or later, Rey.” She doesn’t say anything. The silence is….deafening. And also terrifying. “Right?” he prods, less confidently now. 

“I don’t know,” she answers.

Ben shuts his eyes and pulls away. It was just this morning when Rey told him he was the only alpha she would ever want. It was just the other night, after the most mind-blowing sex of his life, when she told him that he had her. 

He was just starting to believe it, too. Ben is—he is dumbfounded, really. 

“Good to know,” he says under his breath. He scoots back in his chair and stands, eager to do something with his hands in order to distract himself from this terrible interaction. Like maybe split a block of wood in half. Or rather, less-intensely, load up the dishwasher. Yeah. That would be good.

He starts to move over to the sink when Rey jumps up and pulls him back down with her.

“Ben, please don’t do this. Don’t push me away.”

Now he’s actually a little bit mad.

“I’m not trying to push you away, Rey. Fuck. I want to mate with you. I just offered to court you. You’re the one who turned me down, not the other way around.”

Rey shakes her head violently, silent tears beginning to roll down her face. Ben softens and wipes them away instinctively, cradling her cheeks in his hands before he can think better of it. “I want that,” she whispers before pressing a kiss into one of his palms. 

Ben sort of explodes on the inside. Rey continues.

“There is so much that I want, Ben. I want you. I really do. But I also want the chance to be a normal college student. I have friends and a whole other life so far away from here.” Rey chokes a sad chuckle. “I used to want to get out of this town so badly...”

Ben caresses her cheeks and wipes another stray tear away.

“Used to?”  

“Yeah. Used to. Now, not so much.” 

Rey looks over at where Benji sits in his high chair. The boy smiles up at her as he slaps his dinner of shredded chicken pieces and sucks on his fingers. 

Ben kisses Rey on the forehead and gathers her into his arms. There’s no doubt she can feel how heavily he’s breathing, how he’s struggling to maintain his composure. 

“I’ll wait however long it takes,” Ben finally says, meaning it with everything that he has. “I’ll wait forever for you, Rey.” 

Her breath catches. 

“Really?”

“Really.” He kisses her, then, and puts everything he has into it. He can do this. He can. So, maybe he can’t tell her parents that he plans to court her. That doesn’t mean he can’t get on their good sides. Make them realize how perfect he would be for their daughter. 

Ben smiles against Rey’s lips. 

Oh, he’s got a plan now. 

Rey stands off to the side, rotating between obsessively checking her phone and looking out at where the arriving passengers exit from their gates. Supposedly, Kaydel’s plane landed seven minutes ago. Rey cannot wait to see her best friend. It’s been weird to go from seeing her every single day to not seeing her at all for two whole months. 

Kaydel is a dream college roommate. Not too messy, but not too much of a stickler about keeping clean either. She loves terrible TV just as much as Rey does. Every week they’d huddle together on the community room couch to cringe-watch (but also secretly love and obsess over) Riverdale together. It’s glorious and awful and always wonderful. 

Rey’s reminiscing when out of nowhere she feels two arms wrap around her waist and pull her in tight. 

“Hey stranger.” 

Rey jumps, terrified, before she connects the dots.

“KAY!”

Rey turns and pulls her friend in for a bear hug. They laugh and take turns spinning each other around, ecstatic to be in each other’s company again. It lasts for a good while until it doesn’t anymore. Kaydel stops so suddenly, out of nowhere. She looks at Rey, narrowing her eyes and tilting her head. 

“Uh, Kay?”

Her friend doesn’t answer. She simply sets her carry-on down on the nearest bench and carefully moves Rey’s hair away from her neck. Kaydel just blinks at the bare skin, and Rey doesn’t have the slightest idea what is going on.

“You aren’t mated,” Kaydel says.

Rey stiffens.

“Uh….nope. I most definitely am not.” 

“For a second there I thought….you smell like...” Kaydel drifts, picking her bag up and slinging it back over her shoulder. “I thought you got mated to someone and didn’t even tell me.”

Rey shakes her head.

“Oh my god, Kay, I would never.” She grabs her friend’s hand and starts to pull her over in the direction of the parking garage. “Plus, you know I’ve been busy babysitting all summer.” 

Her friend nods, but quirks an eyebrow.

“Then why do you smell like an alpha’s rubbed every single inch of his body all over you?”

Rey chokes but recovers quickly. 

“The kid’s dad is an alpha. I spend all my time at their house, so naturally I’ve started to smell like him.”

It’s a believable enough lie. Kaydel will definitely kill her after she inevitably discovers the truth. But for now this is best. Easiest to keep her in the dark for as long as she can. Or, at least until she makes a firm decision.   

The girls pile into Rey’s car and head out onto the freeway. Rey’s got one hand on the steering wheel and one out the window when Kaydel asks her next question.

“But is he cute though?”

“Hmm?” 

“The kid’s dad? Y’know, the alpha?”

Rey can’t help the blush that creeps up her cheeks. Oh, what the hell.

“Well….”

“Oh my god, he’s cute. I knew it.” 

“Kay. He’s my boss.”

Her friend just shrugs her shoulders and plucks her sunglasses out of her purse, sliding them on and sticking her feet up on the dashboard. 

“Hey,” Kaydel says all teasingly. “Biology is biology, baby.” She winks, and Rey groans. 

“I’m gonna barf.”

“Shut up. You totally wanna bang him.”

Rey doesn’t say anything, just lets her cheeks burn brighter than a tomato. This is fine. She’s not lying, but she’s also not not lying. Everything is fine.

Kaydel just laughs and slaps her on the arm before turning up the music. The girls scream Top 40 hits at the top of their lungs, and it’s some of the most fun Rey’s had in a long time. God, she missed this. So much. Rey looks over at Kaydel, and her heart bursts.

She tries to think about not seeing her best friend at all next year. She tries to think about dropping out of college. She tries to think about Kaydel getting assigned a new roommate. Continuing on with her life. Without her. And Rey, well.  

A little bit of her shrivels up just at the thought.  

Rey and Kaydel spend most of the afternoon catching each other up on their lives. 

Kaydel’s been interning at a design company, where her evil boss wouldn’t know a serif from a sans-serif font if it killed him. “It’s honestly tragic,” she sighs, sprawling out on Rey's front lawn. “Anyway. I can’t believe Poe took the wrong exit.”

Rey laughs and shrugs. “Doesn’t surprise me. He was probably too busy staring into Finn’s eyes.” 

Kaydel lets out a snort. 

“God, they’re so in love. It’s sickening.” 

Rey just nods and lies down on her back, soaking up all the lovely sunshine. 

“I bought s’mores stuff for tonight. Jumbo marshmallows and everything.” 

Kaydel moans. “Amazing. I haven’t been to a pool party in forever.”

“I thought it was gonna be lowkey, but my parents invited a bunch of neighborhood people.”

Kaydel purses her lips. 

“Will Mr. Hot Alpha Dad be attending?” 

Rey shoves her friend. “No. Ben will not be coming. He’s working.” 

“Booooo. I want a refund.”

“Shut up.” 

Kaydel doesn’t get the chance to retort, because at that very moment Poe’s truck turns down the street and barrels into the Niima driveway. Finn rolls the passenger side window down and starts screaming excitedly, and Rey and Kaydel jump up and race to meet him at his door. 

“WE MADE IT!” Finn exclaims as he jumps out of the truck and into their arms. Poe quickly puts the car in park before barreling over and joining in the group hug. 

“Ah, this is nice,” Poe sighs. “All is right in the world again.” 

Rey and Kaydel laugh, excitedly helping the boys with their luggage and listening to them explain exactly how they ended up driving an hour out of their way. 

“Look, it’s not my fault that all exits look the same,” Poe cheekily defends as he walks up the front stairs and into Rey’s house. 

“That’s why road signs exist, dumbass,” Kaydel teases. 

“Ah, yes. I have missed my beloved Miss Connix reminding me just how stupid I am every chance that she gets.” 

Rey laughs, following behind her friends, when suddenly she hears Ben’s garage door open. She pauses, looks over at his yard. 

An older woman exits the garage pushing Benji in one of his strollers. 

It has to be Ben’s mom. Leia, she remembers. Rey chokes, instantly nervous. Oh god. That’s Ben’s mom. She’s right there. Rey is fucking that woman’s son. Oh my god.      

Rey blinks a couple times before she finally comes to her senses. Her friends have gone inside her house already, and she should probably follow them before they come out here looking for her. 

She’s made it two steps before Benji notices her. 

“MAMA-MAMA-MAMA-MAMA!” The boy screams, pointing and squirming around in his little stroller seat. Rey freezes in place, looks back over at Ben’s front yard.  

Leia is looking at her pointedly, and Benji is clapping excitedly.

Oh god. Rey winces, waving to them both. 

“Hi,” she says lamely, crossing over to Ben’s lawn and bending down to meet Benji at eye level. The little boy gargles and reaches for her, sputtering ‘Mama’ every other word.  

Leia smiles softly. “You must be Rey.” 

“I am.” She blushes. “It’s—uh. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. My boys can’t shut up about you. I feel like I’m meeting a celebrity.” 

Rey laughs nervously, pulling her hair out of Benji’s tight grasp. 

“Not at all. Just little old me.” She means for that to be the end of her thought, but Rey continues on despite herself. “I love to take him for walks. Benji likes to sit by the duck pond at the end of the street. Sometimes we spend hours there. You two should stop by, he would love that.” 

Leia nods amusedly. 

“Thanks for the tip.”

Rey nods herself, feeling her face get hot. God. That was so dumb. Why did she say that? Why does she talk? Ever? Leia didn’t ask for any help, so why did she feel it necessary to give it? Rey decides to end the conversation before she makes it even worse. She stands and starts to walk backwards slowly.

“Well, I’m gonna….my friends are inside waiting...”

Leia smiles again.

“See you later, Rey. Sometime soon I hope.”

Rey just nods and waves goodbye. She darts up the front stairs and back into her house, trying to ignore Benji’s wails and the instinct to go back and calm him down. 

Ben gets home a little earlier than usual.

He didn’t have any meetings scheduled, and he’s up to date on all of his grading, so there wasn’t any point in staying on campus after his class got out. 

As he drives up his street, he’s accosted by the sight of cars parked up and down the side of the road. They’re all over. Up by the cul de sac, even parked in his own front lawn. 

Someone must be having a party.

He turns into his driveway and sees all the people running around Rey’s house, and realizes that it’s her. It must be. 

Rey is having a party. 

Ben parks, shuts his car door with a slam. Rey didn’t tell him anything about this. In fact, it looks like she invited everybody in the neighborhood but him. Great. That feels great. Super.   

“Hey, neighbor!” 

Ben turns to find Rey’s father waving a grilling spatula back and forth. “Great to see you, man!” 

Ben blinks. This is the perfect opportunity to enact his plan. He blasts a megawatt smile and walks over to the white fence that separates the two houses. 

“Hey, man! How’s it going?”

Rey’s dad smiles in return.

“I was just about to start grilling up some burgers. We threw a neighborhood pool party together last minute, you know my wife, she loves to entertain. Rey has some friends over and she decided to make a whole event out of it.” The man scratches his beard and smiles again. “You’re welcome to join us!” 

Ben puts his hands on his hips and smiles in return. Here goes nothing. He is going to make this man love him so much, that he’ll be thrilled to find out Ben’s interested in his daughter. 

Well. More than interested. Actively fucking. But, you know. Baby steps.   

“I’d be honored.” Ben points to the man’s apron and spatula, grips him on the shoulder. “Need any help on the grill?”

When mom said she’d invited a few families over tonight, Rey didn’t realize that meant she had invited the entire neighborhood. 

Yeah, it’s a full-blown pool party. Kids are running around in the grass. Teens are flirting in the pool’s deep end. Adults are chatting and snacking on chips and frosted sugar cookies.

Rey sorta wanted this day to just be between her and her friends. But whatever. It doesn’t seem like they mind. The opposite, really. They’ve already made friends with some kids that Rey went to high school with. She sighs, changing into a bikini and sliding on some flip flops before heading downstairs. 

She finds her mom making lemonade in the kitchen. 

“Hey sweetie!” The woman says, setting a sliced lemon down on the counter. “Oh, I love that suit.”

Rey blushes. “Thanks. Um, do you need any more help?”

“God, no. I already feel bad for making you help me set up earlier. Go hang out with your friends. Please.”

Rey smiles, gives her mom a quick hug. 

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

And with that, Rey slides open the back door and steps out onto the patio. Music blares through the outdoor speakers, and kids are splashing around in the pool. It sounds like summer. 

Rey scans the backyard, looking all over for her friends, when she sees him. 

Her heart stops. 

It’s Ben. He’s here. Rey blinks a few times to make sure she’s not imagining things, and sure enough he’s real. He’s standing next to her father over by the grill, wearing board shorts and a fitted T-shirt. He laughs hard at something her dad has just said, doubling over before regaining his breath and flipping a couple burgers. 

He looks….perfect isn’t even good enough to describe the way he looks. And so casual. Much more casual than she’s ever seen him dressed before. 

God, the way he fills out his T-shirt. Muscles bursting. She’s been standing there on the patio for ages now just staring at him like a fool. She’s being so obvious, but damn. Right now she really does not care. 

It’s like he can sense her eyes on him, because Ben finally looks her way. He physically reacts at the sight — eyes widening, mouth parting. A gaze so heated, dripping with lust as he looks her up and down. 

Rey swallows. Oh my god. It’s too much. She quickly looks away and returns searching for her friends. Common sense finally returns. How is Ben here right now? He doesn’t usually get home this early. 

She kicks her flip flops off over by a lawn chair, deep in thought, when suddenly she feels a pair of arms lift her up. Rey squeals loudly as she gets carried over to the edge of the pool’s deep end. 

The last thing she sees is Poe’s smiling face before she’s swiftly thrown into the water.

Everything changes instantly. 

Rey plunges beneath the water’s surface. What was once the loud rumblings of a party becomes nothing but the sound of water bubbling all around her. Though this came out of nowhere, she instinctively holds her breath and squeezes her eyes shut. Rey’s a strong swimmer. She stretches out her muscles, swims down even deeper.  

It’s actually sort of nice. She needed this. Something to force her to think. 

For a moment, Rey does nothing. She simply lays at the bottom of the pool. It is quiet. Warm. Still. A nice distraction from her own life at the moment. 

Maybe she doesn’t have all of the answers just yet. But she can choose to stay here a little bit longer. And, for some reason, that makes her feel better.  

Maybe she does stay down there a little too long, because after another minute she feels two strong arms wrap themselves around her and begin to pull her up to the surface. She knows these arms. Knows them like a second skin.

Sure enough, Ben’s face is the first she sees as she reemerges from the water. He’s holding her flush against his naked chest and Rey doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know what to do. The music blasts on, but other than that the backyard is completely silent. Rey looks around and sees that practically every single guest has gathered around the side of the pool. She sees her mom, her dad. Kaydel. They’re watching her expectantly with wide eyes.  

“Are you okay?” Ben rasps, breathing hard.

Rey blinks once, twice, before she shivers.

“Yes. I’m fine.”

Everyone gives an audible sigh of relief at the words, some even going far enough to clap. They disperse, and Rey feels so much better now that all eyes are no longer on her. 

“Thank you,” she whispers to Ben, meeting his eyes. The thanks is mostly for show. In reality, she’s sorta pissed that so much of a deal was made over nothing. He blinks, and Rey bites her lip. God, she really wants to kiss him right now. But she can’t. So, instead, she pushes herself out of his arms and swims over to the plastic steps in the shallow end.  

Poe meets her the moment she exits the pool, towel in hand and an apologetic look on his face.

“Rey, oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—it was just supposed to be—I thought it would be funny—” He takes a breath, stops tripping over his words. “Can you forgive me?”

Rey rolls her eyes and steps into the towel he holds out for her. “Poe. It’s fine, I promise.” She gives him a smile and a quick hug. “Everyone blew it out of proportion. I was just chilling down there, preparing to jump back up and scare you.”

Poe relaxes, instantly loosening up and smiling back at her.

“I knew it.”

Rey laughs, walking up the patio’s steps and making her way back into the house. “I’ll be out in a sec, just need to catch my breath. Too much excitement for one minute.”

Poe nods, running away to find Finn and start a game of chicken. Rey just shivers and wraps the towel around her as snugly as possible before stepping back inside her home. 

It’s empty. 

She treks through the silent kitchen and makes herself a glass of water, gulping it down quickly before heading over to the downstairs bathroom. 

She doesn’t use it often. It’s tiny, only consists of a toilet and a sink, but it’s perfect for what she wants to do now. Rey closes the bathroom door behind her and leans against the sink, turning the faucet and splashing a little bit of water on her face. She shakes her head and stares at herself in the mirror, bringing a hand up to detangle her hair. 

She’s breathing in and out, silent, when she hears a faint knock on the door. 

“Occupied.” 

But the knob twists anyway. The door pushes open, and in walks Ben. He locks the door behind him, clears his throat. 

“Hi.” 

He’s holding his T-shirt, twisting it around nervously and soaking it with water. “You tracked wet footprints through the house. I followed them.”

Rey nods. The bathroom is crowded with both of them in it. It’s definitely not meant for two people.

There are so many things she wants to say, why did you jump in and save me and why are you here right now among the top of the list, but instead she says nothing at all. Ben walks ever closer, dropping his T-shirt and holding her at her sides. He pushes her towel away and it falls, revealing her in all of her bikini-clad glory. 

“You have no idea what raced through my head,” he says softly. Rey meets his eyes. 

“Tell me.”

Ben lifts her up, then. Sets her on the sink and nestles up close between her legs, lets out a weary breath.

“You were down there for a long time. I thought….I feared….” He doesn’t say it, can’t bear to, but she knows. “Maybe there was a more rational part of me that knew everything was going to be fine.” He presses a kiss against her forehead. “But I just couldn’t take that chance.”        

Rey shudders.

“How are you here right now?”

Ben leans down and kisses under her neck, crowding her up against the mirror. 

“Your dad invited me. We’ve become great friends.”

Rey rolls her eyes. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.” 

Ben works his way up her neck and stops as he reaches her lips. “But that shouldn’t come as much of a shock, right?”

Rey threads her fingers in his long hair and exhales. 

“You made such a big scene. It was so embarrassing.”

Ben narrows his eyes. 

“I wasn’t gonna let you drown.”

“I wasn’t drowning.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know that.”

Rey pushes his hair behind his ears and sighs. 

“What if people saw you come in here after me? What if they suspect that something’s going on between us?”

Ben purses his lips. 

“Well, then they’d be right.”

“Ben.”

“What do you want me to say, Rey?” He looks exasperated, almost crazed. “I don’t have an answer for you. All I know is that one second you’re standing there looking at me, and you’re the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen in my life, glowing , and the next some idiot alpha who is not me has you in his arms. He’s thrown you into the deep end, the very same deep end where I’ve fucked you, where I’ve knotted you, where I’ve pumped you full of my cum.” 

Rey’s breathing staggers, disoriented as she listens to Ben’s words. He picks up on the way he’s affected her and sneaks a smug smile. “Yeah, I know you remember. I know how much you liked it.” 

Ben brings one of his hands down to play with the fabric of her bikini bottoms. He drags a couple fingers around lazily, just barely touching. It drives her crazy. 

“You expect me not to do anything? It was tortuous,” he rasps, voice impossibly deep. “Standing there. Not knowing if you were okay.” Ben sneaks a couple fingers into her bottoms. “Fuck, baby. So wet. This all for me?”

Rey nods, squirming as he finally rubs her clit in the way that he knows she likes.            

“Of course I was gonna do something. I waited as long as I could. But it was inevitable.” 

Rey is so turned on. The way he’s touching her, the things he’s saying…

“In me,” she manages.

“What?”

“In me. Your fingers. Now.” 

Ben groans.

“Fuck.”  

He doesn’t waste any time, immediately thrusting two up his fingers up inside of her. Rey clenches around him, moaning way too loud.

“I thought you didn’t want anybody to find out about us,” he teases.

Rey can’t even muster a comeback. The veins in his fingers. She can feel them. She can feel the blood pumping through his hands while he’s fingering her. 

It’s too much. All she can do is keep her legs spread as she takes it, as she feels his fingers slip in and out of her. Hard.

Rey’s close, she can feel it. But she wants more. She opens her eyes, panting, meeting Ben’s penetrating gaze head on as she opens her mouth to speak. No words are coming out, though.

“What is it, baby?” Ben tilts his head. “What are you trying to say?”   

Rey just about spasms on his hand as he crooks his fingers inside of her, and she reacts by reaching out and grabbing his cock through his swim trunks. Ben stops moving his hand and shivers. Fuck. He’s hard as iron. 

“Really?” he asks, hopeful. “You want to—”

“Yes,” she moans, tugging at his bathing suit and failing to pull it off of him. “But we have to be quick.”

Ben nods, swiftly pulling his fingers out of her and practically ripping his swim trunks off his body. He wraps his arms around Rey’s waist and tugs her bikini bottoms down to her knees, lining himself up and sliding in. 

Bliss. It’s instant bliss.

Rey cries out, hiding her screams into his shoulder and wrapping herself as tightly against him as she possibly can. Ben rolls his hips and creates a steady pace, using the sink to help him out a little but mostly supporting all of Rey’s weight in his arms.

“You couldn’t even wait a day, Rey. A day.”  

He presses his lips against her ear, and Rey could come from the sensation of his breath tickling her alone. 

“I think you’re addicted to me. Addicted to my cock.” 

Rey’s drowsy. So overstimulated, so full. Pleasure-ridden. She gargles against him, pressing kisses into the skin of his shoulder. 

“What’s that? I can’t hear you.”

“I am,” she slurs. “I-I love it.” 

Rey can hear the smile in his voice. 

“I know you are, baby. I know you do. I just like to hear you say it. Feels good.”  

He picks up his pace, chasing his release and driving Rey crazy with pleasure, when she hears Kaydel yell from the other room. 

“Rey? Rey, are you down here?”

Shit. 

Rey shuts her eyes. It’s like a bucket of cold water has poured over her. She’s alert. Petrified. Ben continues his thrusts, though he slows down considerably. 

“Yeah, in the bathroom,” she eventually yells back. 

Rey hears footsteps approach. “Are you okay?” Kaydel’s voice is louder now. She must be right outside the door. “It’s been a while, and I just wanted to check in on you.”

“I’m fine,” Rey musters. “Just finishing up. I’ll be right out. Promise.” 

“Okay.” There’s a short pause before Kaydel continues. “You sure you’re alright?” 

Ben thrusts up, and Rey almost squeals. “Fine. Perfect. All good. I’ll meet you outside with the s’mores stuff. Sound good?”

“Yeah, sounds good. Glad you’re okay. We were all pretty worried.”

“Yep. I’m fine. I’ll be right out. Just about done in here. See you in a sec.”

“Sure thing.” 

Rey hears Kaydel walk away, and Ben finally lets out a breath she didn’t realize he had been holding.

“Fuck, that was close. But you did so good, I’m so proud, you’re so perf—”

Ben doesn’t finish his sentence, because in that moment Rey pulls herself up and off of his cock. 

He growls, reaching for her legs as she pushes him away and tugs her bikini bottoms back into place. 

“I have to go.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“This got out of hand. I told you….” She feels herself getting worked up, takes a deep breath to steady herself again. “I told you we couldn’t do this. Not right now, at least. Not this week.” 

Ben just stands there dumbfounded. His cock leaks, harder than ever, all red and angry and desperate to get back inside of her. She cups his face in her hands and kisses him soundly. 

“Stay here. Don’t directly follow me. Fix…” she looks down and gestures to his cock, “This situation. Then you can come back out.” Rey picks up her towel and kisses him again, hand on the door knob.

“I’ll make it up to you, Ben. I promise.” 

And then she leaves him there. 

Alone.     

It’s getting dark outside. The sun is quickly fading in the evening sky. Almost all of the guests have left. It’s just her friends and family, now. 

Oh. 

And Ben.

They’re making s’mores outside in the fire pit. Rey sits next to Finn and Kaydel, watching the fire burn and crackle in front of her. She’s currently roasting a marshmallow. Poe’s sandwiching a Snickers bar and a jumbo-sized marshmallow between two graham crackers, and everybody’s waiting with bated breath to hear just how it tastes.   

This will probably be Rey’s last s’more. She’s had three already, and she’s not really craving another. But it’s not everyday she gets to roast marshmallows over a fire.  

Rey looks up and out over the blazing flames and meets Ben’s steely gaze. He’s sitting directly across from her, in between both of her parents. She gulps.

The fire crackles and pops as it separates them. There is so much Rey wants to be able to say. So many answers she wishes she had. Perhaps someone more brave would stand up right now and tell everybody the truth. 

She wants to be that brave. Wishes that she was. 

But Rey says nothing. Just simply stares at Ben through the flames. 

She stares so long she completely forgets about her marshmallow, and by the time she remembers it has already charred and slid off of her roasting stick. 

Later, when Finn and Poe are asleep on her bedroom floor and Kaydel is snoring soundly on the other side of her bed, Rey notices a light flicker on outside her window. It streams into her darkened room. 

Rey knows what it is. Who it is.

She silently creeps out of bed and goes to the window. Sure enough, there’s Ben across the way. He’s shirtless, wearing slouchy grey sweatpants with tousled, messy hair. He looks restless. Disoriented. 

Ben softens when he sees her, leaning forward and pressing his right hand against the glass. He mouths words. Rey tries to read his lips. Can’t. 

Instead, she mirrors his action. Rey presses a kiss into the center of her palm, and sets her own hand against the window. 

They stand there for a long time, so close yet so distant. 

Desperate for each other.

Chapter Text

“Your neighbor comes over here a lot.”

Finn reaches over to grab another bread roll from the basket in the center of the dinner table. Rey takes a deep gulp of her ice water. It’s painstakingly quiet before she responds.

“Who, Mr. Solo?”

Her friend nods, looking out at the backyard through the sliding glass door. Ben’s outside helping her father set up an inflatable screen and a projector. They’re having a neighborhood movie night, and Ben insisted on being a part of it. He even took off work.  

“I guess that is true,” she says, watching the way Ben’s arms flex as he sets up the screen. 

Rey’s mother smiles as she scoops up a generous bite of canned corn. 

“Ben’s a stand up guy. Really friendly. We’re lucky he moved next door. Right, Rey?”

She nods. Gulps. 

“Right.”

Rey’s mom continues to eat her corn, oblivious. The same can not be said of Rey’s three friends, who have undoubtedly noticed just how friendly she is with her neighbor. 

They haven’t said anything. Yet. 

But two days ago, when Ben was rocking Benji to sleep on his back porch, failing to hide just how closely he was watching Rey swim around in the pool, Finn gave her a look. 

It was pointed. Curious. A look that said I know what’s going on.

He did not look angry. Or upset. In hindsight, she doesn’t know why she ever thought he would be. Finn has never been anything but supportive.

But he did look at her with longing. 

It was not romantic. It was more like...he wishes she could find it in herself to tell him. 

Rey understands this. She wishes she could find it in herself to tell him. 

But she can’t. 

So she said nothing. 

The day after Ben jumped in the pool after Rey, Poe asked if she had started seeing someone. 

“No,” she told him, slowing down on her bike. “Why?” 

Poe shrugged, looked down at the asphalt. “You just smell like you have a someone, is all.” 

“I don’t,” she said as convincingly as possible. 

Kaydel overheard. 

“Rey just smells like her neighbor, Poe. You know, the one she babysits for.” 

“Oh.” 

Poe blinked a couple times, then looked over at Kaydel. They had a conversation with their eyes. Rey pretended not to notice, but of course she did. How could she not.

And now here they are. 

There is a lot of knowing and not knowing, and, mostly, Rey wishes she could find it in herself to make a decision. It never used to be this hard. She used to always know exactly what she wanted. 

But then there was Ben, with his impossible smell and perfect chest and irresistible lips, and everything that Rey thought she wanted immediately went into question. 

The second he came into her life she stopped having a plan. She stopped having any answers. She stopped knowing exactly where life was going to take her.

And, if she’s being honest, that terrifies her.

Rey takes another swig of ice water and squirms in her seat. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.  

The back door slides open, and Rey’s immediately drawn to Ben. He walks over to the kitchen island, seemingly mid-conversation with her father but zeroing in on her as soon as he makes it across the room.

Rey feels herself heat up a little. God. They’re so obvious, aren’t they? 

Her mom stands, grabs her empty plate and heads over to the sink.  

“All set up?” 

Rey’s dad nods.

“All set.” He slaps Ben on the back, and the man chuckles. “Couldn’t have done it without my man Ben here.”

Rey grimaces. Oh god. Time to evacuate immediately. She clears her throat and looks between all of her friends.

“Let’s head outside then, yeah?”

They nod, begin to collect their plates and bring them over to the dishwasher. All the while Rey can feel Ben’s eyes on her. It’s not that she doesn’t like it—the way he looks at her like there’s nothing else he’d rather look at—she just can’t deal with it right now. It’s too much. It makes her want to grab him by his shirt, drag him up to her bedroom, and have her happy way with him.  

And that can’t happen. Not right now, at least. 

Later, as Rey snuggles with Kaydel outside while they watch the movie, she can feel the hole that Ben burns into her head, his heated stare from where he sits a couple rows behind her. 

He’s daring her to look at him. 

She knows she shouldn’t. They’ve already made it so obvious. But after thirty minutes or so she finally gives in, turning her head to meet his eyes. She can’t help it. Ben lights up at the sight of her. He purses his lips twice, little pulses that look like he’s giving the air sweet kisses, and then points to the back door that leads to the kitchen. 

Oh god. She shouldn’t. She really shouldn’t. But it’s been days, and she misses him.

Fine. 

She nods as subtly as she can, and Ben smiles before getting up from his seat and heading to the kitchen. 

Rey turns to Kaydel and whispers something about getting them some more popcorn. The girl nods, asks her to bring her a soda when she comes back. Rey agrees, then slowly rises and makes her way to the kitchen herself. 

She’s in Ben’s arms the second she closes the sliding door. He wastes no time in kissing her, in bringing her up in his arms, in rubbing his nose up and down her neck and all over her mating gland. When he finally speaks, it’s with hushed tones and ragged breath. 

“Never again. I can’t take it, Rey. I can’t be without you like this. It’s too hard.”  

Rey buries herself in his sweater, rubbing against him instinctively and making little noises that sound like purrs. Scenting, she realizes through her pheromone muddled cloud of a mind. I am scenting him. He growls, pulling her even closer to his chest and kissing her wherever he can.

“I think you missed me too.”

Rey can hear the smile in his voice. She doesn’t even attempt to disagree, because he’s right. They both know he’s right. 

“They leave tomorrow,” she whispers instead. “And then it’s just us. I’ve been thinking...and I know exactly how to make it up to you.” 

He pulls away just enough to meet her eyes. 

“I love you,” he says, plainly and simply, like those three words don’t have the power to completely and utterly change her entire world. 

Rey’s mouth parts in disbelief, her eyes brightening and her heart filling up with so much air and light and love that all she can do is hold him, caress his cheeks, and let gentle tears stream down her face. 

She whimpers, so overwhelmed and happy she can’t speak. 

“I really do,” he whispers. “More than anything. You don’t have to say it back. But just know that I love you, and you’re it for me.” 

Rey swallows, ready to say something, anything, in return, when she hears the sliding back door creak open. 

Fuck.  

She immediately jumps out of Ben’s arms and turns to face the refrigerator, opening it quickly and hiding from whoever just intruded on their moment. 

“Oh, hi Ben. Rey.”

It’s Rey’s mom. Shit. Rey grabs the soda for Kaydel and discreetly wipes her tears away before she shuts the refrigerator and turns.

“I ran out of popcorn,” her mom says, reaching for one of the microwavable bags. 

Rey nods, tries her best to look put together. 

“Same here.” 

Ben smiles without teeth. He’s right where Rey left him, leaning up against the kitchen counter and shaking with barely contained rage. It’s actually a little scary.

Her mom puts the bag in the microwave, oblivious. Rey and Ben wait as patiently as they can. It feels like it lasts ages. Nobody speaks. The kitchen is completely silent apart from the sound of the microwave whirring and the occasional pop of a kernel.

Finally, the most agonizing 45 seconds of Rey’s life end. Her mother pulls the steaming bag of popcorn out of the microwave, opens it, and offers it to her. Rey forces a smile. 

“Thanks.” 

She reaches in and takes a couple pieces, before her mom offers the bag to Ben.

“Actually, no thanks. I think I lost my appetite.” 

Rey’s mom nods, shrugs.

“More for me, then!” 

She laughs, and Rey forces herself to as well, before her mom walks right back outside and shuts the sliding door behind her. 

Rey lets out a breath. 

“That was close.” 

Ben sighs. “It’s always close, isn’t it?” 

He walks over to her, kisses her on the forehead, and tucks her underneath his chin. Rey nestles into him.  

“Just...come over tomorrow,” he whispers. “Then we can revisit the whole you making it up to me thing.”

Rey kisses him on the chest, and then nods. One more day. One more day.  

She can do this.          

The morning that Poe and Finn leave, Rey cries.

She cries during breakfast, though it’s only a tear or two. She cries as they deflate the air mattresses they slept on, though it goes unnoticed by all parties involved. She cries as she helps load their suitcases in the back of Poe’s truck, when, finally, Finn realizes she has silent tears streaming down her face.

“Peanut.” He drops his bag and pulls her in for a hug. “Why are you crying?”

She pulls back and wipes her eyes.

“I’m just gonna miss you guys, is all.”

Finn pouts, brushes hair out of her eyes. 

“We’ll see you again in a little over a month, right? That’s no time at all. You won’t even find the time to miss us, I’m sure of it.” 

Rey hugs Finn again, head resting on his shoulder and eyes focusing in on the house that’s situated right behind him. Ben’s house. She closes her eyes, thinking about how possible it could be for her to not see her friends again for months, years, even, depending on the decisions she will have to make soon. 

“I don’t know, Finn. I think I could definitely be finding the time to miss you.”

Her friend smiles as he passes her off to Poe, who pulls her in for a bear hug of his own. 

“Are you crying because of us? That’s no good.” 

Rey laughs as she steps away from him, tears no longer falling but definitely still streaking down her cheeks.     

Kaydel hugs the boys now, albeit less dramatically. 

“Make sure you take the right exit this time.”

Poe rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You make ONE mistake…”

“Bold of you to assume you’ve only ever made one mistake.”

And then they’re all laughing, and smiling, and it’s so nice to be around her friends like this that it barely hurts to shut the passenger side door behind Finn. Her friend rolls down his window as Poe turns the key in the ignition, and Rey waves goodbye to the two boys as they back out of the driveway, jet out of the neighborhood, and, congruently, right out of Rey’s small hometown.

“And then there were two.”

Rey looks over at Kaydel, and pulls her in for a hug as well. 

“Not yet,” her best friend says as she hears Rey sniffle. “At the airport, fine. But not now. I can’t take it.”

Rey nods. It’s almost time to go drop her off, anyway.

The girls wait until the last possible moment, but eventually they have to gather Kaydel’s belongings, pack up the car, and head off to the airport. 

It’s an uncharacteristically quiet drive. Rey’s afraid she’ll weep the moment she opens her mouth, so she just decides it’s just better to keep it shut.

It’s even silent as Rey pulls into the parking garage. She puts the car in park and lets out a deep sigh, finally turning to look at her best friend.

“Hi.”

Kaydel smiles softly. She grabs one of Rey’s hands and laces their fingers together. 

“Hi.”

“I’m gonna miss you, Kay.”

Kaydel leans further back in her seat and pulls her legs up to her chest. She nods, squeezes Rey’s hand. 

“Hey, Rey?”

Rey traces over all of Kaydel’s features, committing them to memory, and lets out a breath. 

“Yes?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Rey shuts her eyes. Yes. But also, no.    

“It’s okay if there’s not. We don’t have to talk about it. Promise.”

Rey opens her eyes again, feels the tears begin to fall. Kaydel continues.  

“I just want you to know….that it is okay. That you are okay. That you are allowed to feel the way that you feel.” 

Rey shivers, tears falling unbidden now. It’s quiet again before she clears her throat. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Rey whispers. “What are other people going to think? What about...what about my plans for the future?”

Kaydel squeezes her hand so comfortingly before she responds.  

“Are you happy?”

Rey furrows her brow.

“What?”

“With him. Are you happy? Does it feel right?”

Rey lets out a breath. She blinks back tears before she nods. 

“Then that’s all that matters. Don’t think about what other people will think. Think about what you think. Don’t make choices for anyone else.” 

She smiles, wipes Rey’s tears away.

“Make choices for you.”       

Rey doesn’t even text Ben to ask if now is a good time to come over or not. She simply parks in her driveway, then walks right over to his place. 

The back door is open. She doesn’t even have to use her key. 

Ben isn’t downstairs. Hmm. Maybe he’s upstairs in his office? Rey treks up the staircase, planning at first to search for him but stopping as she walks by Benji’s nursery.

The boy is probably napping. It would be unwise to disrupt that. 

She opens the door to the nursery anyway. 

Just like she thought, Benji is fast asleep. Rey stands over his crib and watches him breathe in and out steadily. 

His little blankie has shifted off of his tiny body. Rey reaches down and drapes it back over him again, making sure not to tuck him in all the way. His feet wiggle, face scrunching up some before he settles again. 

Rey smiles, tracing the edge of the crib and staring down at the little boy.

Loud footsteps jolt her from her reverie, and in seconds Ben is there. He bursts into the room and pulls Rey into his arms, kissing her on the neck and working his way up to her ear. 

“I smelled you. That’s how I knew you were here. Why didn’t you come find me?” 

Rey kisses him on the lips before she answers with a shrug. 

“I missed him.”

Ben stops kissing her for a second to meet her eyes. He smiles, looks down at his son. 

“He missed you too.”

Rey lets Ben lead her out of the nursery. They shut the door carefully before he drags her into his bedroom and places her at the foot of his bed. 

“Finally. All is as it should be.”

Ben smiles as he bends down to kiss her again. It gets heated rather quickly, and soon  they’re tangled in each other’s arms, kissing in his sheets. After a couple minutes Ben pulls away and makes a mischievous face. “I have an idea.” 

Rey grins. “What?”

“For date night.”

She blushes. “Date night?” They’ve never...they’ve never gone on a real date before. Ben threads his fingers through her hair, nodding. “Yeah. Date night.”

“I’m listening.”

“Can I take you out to see the fireworks over the lake?”

Rey blinks. Right. Tomorrow is July 4th. Summer is more than halfway over. Time is flying by.  

“What about Benji?”

Ben hides in her neck, sucking little marks into her skin. 

“My mom will watch him. I already asked her to, actually.” 

Rey grins. 

“Someone was a little confident that I would say yes to this date.” 

Ben stops sucking on her gland long enough to kiss her on her lips. “That may be true. What’re you gonna do about it?” 

Rey laughs, reaching down to start unbuttoning his shirt, when she hears a wail from across the hall.

Benji’s awake. 

She pushes Ben up and off of her, and he groans. “Fine. He can have you for now. But you’re all mine tomorrow.” 

Rey kisses him again. 

“I have plans of my own, you know. I still need to make up for leaving you all alone in the bathroom, remember?” 

He grabs her by the forearms and gives her the most desperate, heated kiss. When they part he shakes his head ever so slightly back and forth, like he’s amazed she’d even ask such a thing. 

“Rey.” He shuts his eyes, breathes out. “It’s only all I’ve been able to think about. For days.”

She grins, kissing his nose before she jumps off the bed and runs to fetch Benji.   

“Can you pass the ketchup?”

Rey dips another fry in her vanilla milkshake before she shoves it in her mouth. Ben laughs as he hands the bottle over, clearly trying to stifle his amusement. Rey quirks an eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing.” Ben neatly dips a fry into the tiny dollop of ketchup on his plate before carefully chewing it down. “You’re just cute.” 

Rey takes a huge bite from her burger, wiping her mouth with her sleeve before she responds. 

“Cute how?”

Ben leans forward, grabbing her free hand from across the table and tracing little patterns on her palm.

“Cute, like, the way you splatter ketchup all over your fries. Cute, like, the way you slurp down your milkshake. Just cute.” 

Rey blushes, pulling her hand back to take another bite of her burger. They’re currently on their first official date. Ben asked her what she wanted for dinner, offering up the steakhouse and a sushi restaurant for options, but all she really wanted was a burger and fries. 

Now here they are. 

Rey finishes off her burger with one last bite, and Ben reaches out for her hand again. 

“It feels good to be out here like this.” He squeezes. “You know, in public. Together. Holding hands.” 

Rey doesn’t respond. It’s something she thought about beforehand, of course. But bringing up the we’re in a secret relationship conversation would evidently end in a fight. She knows this. And tonight isn’t about fighting. It’s about making things right with Ben. It’s about letting him know just how much she really likes him, how much she trusts him.

It’s definitely a gamble, being out in public together and not hiding the fact that they’re together. The diner they’re in is packed, and surely someone in here knows who she is. It’s something she’s trying not to focus on — the risk that she’s taking to be with Ben like this. The risk she’s taking by holding his hand, by even agreeing to the date in the first place. 

But, the truth is, it’s getting to the point where she doesn’t care. This past week was so hard, terrible, actually, and Ben was staying just next door. It seems impossible to think about actually spending months without him, miles away.

Rey just nods, squeezes his hand. It is nice to be here with him. It is nice to hold his hand. It is nice to forget about all the secrets and the hiding and just live out loud with him. 

Rey tugs her milkshake over and sucks down the last bit of it, deep in thought. Ben eats his last fry and clears his throat, watching her so carefully. 

“What are you thinking about?”

Rey smiles. 

“You.”

It’s not a lie. She is thinking about him. The admission causes Ben to blush. She’s proud of it — the way his cheeks flush, the way he can’t help smiling with all his teeth, the way he looks embarrassed, but not really.

He lifts her hand and brings it up to his lips, pressing the sweetest kiss to the top of it. 

“Ready for the rest of our date?”

Rey nods, and sooner rather than later they’ve left the diner and driven out to the lake, where several other cars have gathered around to watch the fireworks. The show is not set to start for another hour or two, but Ben insisted they get there early to find themselves the perfect spot. They park, and then Ben walks over to the passenger side to open her door. 

“Where are we gonna sit?” 

“Well, that’s the thing.” 

Ben takes her by the hands and pulls her to the back of the car. He lifts the hatch, and Rey laughs. Ben stuffed the back of the car full of plush pillows and comfy throw blankets. 

“I thought we could snuggle back here together,” he whispers into her hair.  

Rey grins before she jumps right into the mountain of blankets. She pats the spot next to her suggestively and Ben chuckles, climbing in after her and shucking off his shoes. He tightens his arms around her waist almost instantly, pulling her flush against him.

“You fit just right,” he whispers, and the sound of his deep voice makes her clench. Oh. She snuggles deeper into his chest and feels his heart race, knowing that hers is beating just as fast. 

They lay like this for a good while before she feels him shift. Ben leans down and completely devours her, kisses her like his life entirely depends on it. And, oh, he smells so good, he tastes so good, he’s everything. Time passes so quickly she can hardly process it, can hardly focus on anything that’s not him. 

But, then, it happens. 

A firework bursts in the air, booming over the lake and turning the sky into a dazzling display of bright red sparks. It’s gorgeous. The boom dissipates and fizzles out into a hiss, the red color vanished and replaced with a cloud of smoke. 

Rey breaks her kiss with Ben, mesmerized by the beautiful display. She gasps and laughs animatedly, so enamored by the beautiful explosions in the sky. Some are blue, some green, some a sparkling shade of gold. Many are that vivid shade of red, exploding over the night sky and falling swiftly over the calm waters of the lake below.  

Rey turns to look over at Ben, only to find him already staring right at her. She can’t fathom how he could ever be more interested in Rey’s expressions than the unbelievable show in front of them, but it looks like he is. It makes her heart thump erratically again, makes her lean in and kiss him with all that she has. 

And that is what they do for the rest of the firework show. They kiss, they hold each other, they laugh, they love, all while a fiery display burns brightly in front of them. 

They’re still kissing, even when the show is long over and most every other car has driven away. When they finally pull away, it’s with drowsy, lovesick smiles. Rey wants him. She wants him so bad.  

“Let’s go home,” she whispers in his ear. “Then I can begin to make things up to you.” Ben groans. He shoots straight up, pulls her out of the backseat and quickly shuts the hatch with a loud bang. 

The sound jolts them both. Ben looks at Rey, so deeply and with so much longing. She can feel his desire in her gut. They both race to their respective seats, and Ben drives with wild abandon as he takes them back to their neighborhood. 

The moment he parks in his driveway, he turns his head. Stares at her. Swallows. She watches his Adam’s apple bob, knows he is waiting for her to say something. Anything. She complies.   

“Wanna go upstairs?”

Ben nods fervently. He races to meet her at the passenger side door, reaches for her hand, and starts leading her to his house. 

But Rey has other plans. She plants her feet firmly on the ground. Ben tugs on her arm, not understanding. 

“What?” He sounds scared, like he’s terrified she’s changed her mind. 

Rey blushes. 

“I meant...upstairs to my bedroom.”

Ben does nothing. He just stares again. His mouth parts. After several moments of agonizing silence, he finally responds.  

“Your bedroom?” 

Rey nods. Ben takes a second, clearly spellbound. 

“You’re sure?”

And Rey nods again. She takes the lead, pulling him up the pathway to her front door and into the foyer, tiptoeing to the staircase.  

She continues pulling him all the way up the stairs until she shuts her bedroom door safely behind them. 

Rey feels the weight of this decision immediately. 

Ben is in her room. God. Ben is in her room. It’s like something from her fantasies.

Finally.  

He carefully lets go of her hand and ambles to the window, disbelief evident in all of his features.  He runs his fingers over her fairy lights, touches them so delicately. Like they are something sacred. Rey quickly flips the switch, illuminating her dark bedroom with their soft glow. 

Ben looks out through the glass, staring at his own bedroom window across the way. After a moment he smiles down at her, eyes misty.

“So this is what it looks like from over here. I’ve always wondered.” 

Rey hums, reaching out to lace their fingers together again. 

“Have you?”

He lets out a breath, voice quiet. “I have.”

Ben continues to take in her space, eyes widening with interest as he notices the leftover glow-in-the-dark star stickers on her ceiling. He smiles. “Cute.”   

He then moves to the other side of her bedroom, stopping dead in his tracks when he notices the garment right on top of her dirty clothes basket. 

“Is that my sweater?”

Ben moves closer, reaches out to grab it in shock. Rey walks over to him with her head down. God. So embarrassing.  

“Yeah. I, uh. I wear it sometimes. It’s comforting.”

Ben’s smile is blinding. 

“Do you now?” He preens, clearly delighted. Rey’s beyond embarrassed. She falls onto her bed and hides her face in one of her pillows. “Ben,” she whines. “Don’t make fun of me.”

Rationally, she knows she’s being overdramatic. But it’s humiliating. Ben laughs as he follows her to the bed, laying on top of her and caging her underneath him. “I’m not gonna make fun of you, Rey.” He peppers kisses everywhere he can reach. “I love you. I love that you love to wear my sweater.”

She still pouts, refusing to turn and look at him. Her reaction is only half-serious, but she’s curious as to how far he’ll go to make her feel better.

“Hey. What if I told you something embarrassing about me?” 

At this, Rey peeks up from her pillow. 

“I’m listening.”    

“I probably shouldn’t say this. You could push me out your bedroom door and quite possibly never talk to me again and it would be justified.”

Rey’s eyes widen. She turns to face him.

“What?”

Ben snuggles up even closer, pulls her into his chest.

“Remember that day when the sprinklers got us all wet? You went upstairs and changed into some of my clothes.”

Rey nods. “That’s how I got your sweater.”

“Well...you sorta left your clothes at my place. And I never gave them back.” 

Rey waits for the kicker. 

“And?”

“I never told you because…” Ben flinches. “I didn’t want to have to give you your panties back.” 

It takes a second for the information to settle in. But when it does…

Rey’s speechless. 

“Wait. So, you got off to my used panties or something?” 

Ben swallows. 

“Well...I sort of...get off to them. Present tense. It’s the only thing that kept me going last week.”

Rey...she does not know what to say. But she knows how she feels, which is overheated. She kicks off her shoes and presses a kiss to Ben’s neck, shifting to straddle him properly. 

“You aren’t saying anything,” Ben whispers. “That was so embarrassing, what I just told you.” 

Rey shrugs. 

“Maybe so.”

“Do you hate me now?” 

Rey meets his eyes.

“Is it bad if I say that it turns me on? The thought of you….all alone….holding my underwear in one hand and your cock in the other...” 

Ben groans. 

“Rey.” 

“Mhm?” 

He shakes his head in awe. “You drive me crazy, you know that?”

She kisses his neck a second time. 

“Tell me again.”

Ben pulls her up so that his lips just almost brush against her own.

“You. Drive. Me. Crazy. I love you.”

And then Rey kisses him. It is desperate. Messy. She puts everything into it, tries to show him just how much he means to her. It’s been a long week. It’s been a long couple months, really, and all she wants is to stop having to think for just a little while.  

She’s tired of constantly having to make decisions. Tired of all the not knowing. She wants to be driven by somebody else for a night, wants to give the reins over to someone else. Someone she trusts. 

To Ben.

And that’s exactly what she’s about to propose. When they part, Rey pushes off of Ben and bites her lip. “So.” 

Ben eyes her lips, just about chases them with his own, desperate to continue. “Yes?”

“About the me making it up to you thing....”

Ben scrunches up his face.

“Is that not what you are doing right now?”

Rey adjusts her sleeves nervously. “Sort of. But, more.” 

Ben pulls her back on top of him. “More?”

Rey lets out a breath. It’s now or never. 

“I want you to use alpha commands on me. I want you to tell me what to do and exactly how to do it.” 

She can feel Ben’s cock twitch at her words. He looks at her with desperate, unbelieving eyes.

“I—” He swallows. “I’ve never used an alpha command on someone before. Not like...not like this.” 

Rey refuses to meet his eyes, now embarrassed.

“I guess you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought….” She sighs. “I don’t know what I thought.”

But that is a lie. Rey knows exactly what she thought. She thought that she would get to spend an entire glorious night not thinking. She thought she could be temporarily released from the weight of her unmade decisions. She thought she could allow herself to feel. To love. Without having to make any decisions.     

It is silent for many moments. But Ben eventually lets out a ragged breath, shaking his head and mumbling under his breath. “I didn’t say I didn’t want to.” 

Rey meets his eyes. He stutters a bit, acting weirdly nervous all of the sudden. “I just never would have thought that you would ever be into that. It’s so hot, Rey. So hot.”

“Really?”

There’s no longer any nerves reflected back in the piercing look he gives her. Ben gets real close to her ear, mumbles in a raspy, deep voice. “You wanna know how many times I’ve fantasized about commanding you to suck me off?” 

Rey melts. She whimpers, begins to rub desperately against his achingly hard cock. Ben continues. “The idea of you, the person I desire most, completely at my beck and call...you think I wouldn’t be into that? Really?”

She blushes. “Well, when you put it like that…”

Ben presses a sweet kiss to her lips. 

“Are you sure?” he whispers, all serious again. “I want to. But...I need to know that you are sure.” 

Rey just nods. 

“I trust you,” she breathes out onto his lips. “More than anyone. Anything.”

Ben kisses her again before he sits up and maneuvers himself off the bed. He takes off his watch, slips off his shoes, and then stares right at Rey. 

“I need you to tell me when you’re ready. And then we’ll start.”

Rey swallows. She fidgets, looking Ben up and down. He looks calm. Collected. Rey trusts him. Completely. She may even be in love with him. 

“I’m ready.”        

 He nods. Clears his throat. Cracks his neck. And then, finally, he speaks.  

“Unfasten my belt.”

His words leave her breathless. It’s like a siren’s song, the way she’s instantly pulled to him, desperate to do exactly what he’s asked.  

Rey gets up on her knees and crawls over to where Ben stands next to the bed. She leans down and plays with his belt buckle, fiddling with it for a second before she finally gets it all the way unfastened.

“Good girl,” Ben rasps. He takes her hands and moves them over to his zipper. “Now get me out of my pants.

His voice. It’s….otherworldly. She’s never heard anything so perfect. Rey wants nothing more than to listen to it always. To make him happy.

She makes quick work of unzipping his pants. Ben helps her pull them down, and they fall right to the ground. Now he stands before her in only a button up shirt and his briefs. God, he’s so hard. 

They lock eyes. His own are so earnest, so narrowed in on her, with pupils so overly dilated she just knows how turned on he is right now.

She wishes he would use another command. It just feels so good. Perfect. Like being knotted. His words...they give her the most pleasurable buzz. She becomes pheromone drunk. It’s comparable to heat brain, the way it takes her over. Both freeing and arousing and, of course, out of her control. 

Rey decides that she loves the way that it makes her feel. This may not be an everyday thing, but god, does she hope they’ll do it again after this.   

“I want you to unbutton every single one of these,” Ben breathes out after a second, gesturing to his shirt. “But do it like this. After you unbutton one, I want you to press a kiss right on the new bit of skin you revealed. Understand?” 

Rey nods, giddy over her new task. She gets to kiss him and touch him and help him and oh, she loves him so much. She is so lucky. He is everything.

She reaches up to his chest and carefully unhooks the first button before pressing a kiss to the skin there. He is so hot against her lips, positively burning at the touch. It makes her clench. She wants him so bad.

Rey makes quick work of the buttons, kissing down his chest until she gets to the final one. It hovers right above his briefs. 

She presses her forehead to his lower belly, rubbing against his tummy so lovingly, before she kisses the very top of his underwear. It makes his cock twitch. She watches how it throbs, wishes it was in her right now. Ben lets out a choking sound.

“I want my cock down your throat.”

And Rey moves so fast, she may have never moved faster in her life. She pulls off his briefs and has the head of his cock at her lips in seconds, pressing kisses and giving sweet little licks. He groans, threads his fingers in her hair as she does what he’s commanded her to do. She moves quickly—and with great purpose—but this is not a chore. Oh no. This is a privilege. Rey’s filled with the most precious tingling sensation, out of her mind with pleasure at fulfilling this task for him. She just wants to make him happy. She loves making him happy.

He sure sounds happy, those grunts and moans and affections he’s throwing her way. “Perfect,” he lets out after a little while. “You’re perfect.” 

Her arousal grows with every single compliment she drags out of him. It only motivates her to continue making him feel good. She needs to. She has to. 

Ben pushes his cock further down her throat, and Rey swears she sees stars. It feels so good. She lets him have his way with her. Prides herself on how good she is for him. 

It’s then when she feels it, the all too familiar throb of his knot. Ben looks down at her. He tightens his hold in her hair, seemingly trying to make a decision, before he reluctantly pulls out of her mouth.  

Rey whimpers, licking around her lips and tasting a bit of precum. More. She wants more. She didn’t get to finish sucking him off. 

Ben finally joins Rey on the bed, then. His cock is straining, so red and swollen and over halfway to popping a knot. It looks hurt. It needs her. She can help. She can make it all better. 

Ben points to the middle section of the bed. “Lay there. On your back.”

She complies instantly.    

 Ben purses his lips as he looks her up and down. “You’re still in your dress. That won’t do.” 

Carefully, he pulls her dress up and over her head, leaving her only in cute little panties. They’re her favorite pair, white lace with pretty little pink bows. She knows how much Ben loves them.

He smiles as he pulls them off, and finally she’s bared before him. 

“Beautiful.”

Rey blushes. That wasn’t a command, just a comment. It’s a rare moment where she’s in control again. She’s painstakingly aware of the way she has put her life into his hands tonight. It took true vulnerability. Trust, too. 

He could easily mate her right now, if he wanted. He could look right into her eyes and say, “Tilt your head to the side. I am going to bite your gland, and you are going to let me. And you are going to love it.” 

And she would. And that would be it. They would be happy, and there would be no more hard decisions, and then they could be a family. He could do that. She has given him the power to. 

And, if she’s being honest, a teensy tiny part of her hopes that he will.  

Ben stares at her, and stares at her, and stares at her, and it is almost like he knows exactly what’s going on inside of her head, like he knows each and every one of her passing thoughts, like he understands. 

Rey gulps. But Ben does not say anything about that. 

No. Instead, he leans down and kisses her, kisses her with all of his heart and everything that he has, kisses her like it is the last thing he will ever do. He’s pressed flush against her now, and his cock still throbs incessantly, moments away from his giant knot ballooning. She needs it. She needs him locked inside. 

Ben breaks for air, gasping, as he speaks again. 

“Tell me that you love my cock.” 

And Rey almost explodes, because she does love it, she loves it more than life, she wants it in her always, she wishes she could exist only for it to be inside of her, loves the way it fills her, the way it makes her feel. She tells him all of these things in desperate, needy run-on sentences, and that is when Ben decides to finally press his cock inside of her. It fits inside perfectly, like it was made for exactly this.  

She moans. Loudly. Desperately.

“Thank you,” she repeats breathily, over and over again. “Thank you thank you thank you. I love it so much, thank you, I need it so much, I need it always.” 

And that’s the moment his knot catches. It pulses steadily, causing Rey to fall over the edge and find her own release. Yes. Finally. It feels so good, so right. Ben follows right after her, his heavy balls slapping against her skin and the steady stream of his cum beginning to fill her up. 

“Tell me how much you like this.”

Rey pants, threads her arms and legs around his body, trying to get as close to him as she possibly can.

“I love this. I love it. I love you. So much.”

Ben stops moving. He blinks rapidly, squeezes at her waist. 

“What did you just say?”

Rey whines, tries to move her hips in protest. Why did he stop? She needs him to start moving again. “I said that I love this and I love you and I need you to keep moving, please keep going, don’t stop, never stop.” 

Ben resumes with a frantic pace. He never really stopped pumping her full of cum, and, yeah, he’s knotted to her, but it just feels so good when he moves his hips like that, oh, she never wants him to stop moving his hips like that.

Ever so often Ben will tear his eyes away from her own and stare at the gland on her neck. Rey knows just how swollen it probably looks, can feel the way it throbs incessantly. 

All he does is stare at it. But Rey knows what he’s thinking. What he wants to do.

But he doesn’t. He just continues fucking her, continues kissing her, continues loving her. 

They go at it like this for hours. Every now and then Ben will use a command, but mostly it’s just them quietly intertwined together. After a while they’re not really fucking so much as Ben’s knotted inside of her. They’re simply laying in each other’s arms as he spurts her full of cum. 

“Hey Rey?”

She turns her head to look at him.

“Mhm?”

“Did you mean it?”

She doesn’t answer right away, but she knows what he’s asking. Rey told him that she loved him tonight. She didn’t mean to say it. But she did. 

“Yeah. I did. I do.”

And Ben just closes his eyes. He leans his forehead against her own and lets out a strangled breath. 

“That is very good to know.” 

Then he kisses her. It’s chaste, real quick and with no tongue. More of an acknowledgement. He burrows his head under her neck and starts to mouth at her gland. 

This is nothing new, something he loves to do. She knows he won’t bite down. If he wanted to do it like that, he would’ve done it earlier tonight. 

No. He won’t do it. She knows he is waiting for her to say the magic words.

“It’s sort of unfair. Don’t you think?”

Ben looks up from her neck. “What do you mean?”

“How alphas don’t have mating glands. Me, I only get one shot at having a mate. But you….you could have anybody.”

Ben grimaces. 

“I don’t want just anybody.”

And that is the end of their conversation. 

They hold each other, and they continue holding each other all through the night as they both sleep soundly. 

Eventually morning comes. Rey didn’t mean for Ben to sleep over, though she’s certainly not complaining. The sun peeks through Rey’s curtains as she wakes. Ben is still inside of her, though she can feel the way his knot has gone down. It may be a new record for them, though. Outside of heat at least. She smiles, noticing how she forgot to turn off her fairy lights last night before bed. Oh well. There were far more important things on her mind. 

Ben wakes a little while later when the sun is fully risen. He smiles, presses kisses to her chest as he rises and pulls himself out of her. 

They kiss some more, tangled in her sheets and blissfully happy, before it happens. 

Rey’s bedroom door flies open, a loud scream instantly piercing through the house. 

Flushed, Rey pushes Ben away to find her mother standing in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth dropped all the way to the floor.

Chapter Text

For a long while, Rey’s mother says nothing. She just stares. There’s a long sigh. Then:

“I’ll be downstairs.”

Her tone is hard to place. Distant. One thing is for sure, she does not sound pleased. Her words function as a dismissal to Ben, a faux polite way of telling him to get the hell out of her house. She turns and treks back down the stairs without another word. 

Rey had expected an explosion. Loud screams and accusations. Instead, she got this. 

It’s even scarier than what she had imagined.

Rey sneaks a look over at Ben. He lets out a shaky breath and reaches down to collect his rumpled clothes off her bedroom floor.

“I think that could have gone a lot worse,” he whispers as he maneuvers his underwear back on. “All things considered. For one, it could have been your dad who barged in instead.”

“Stop.”

Rey’s not in the mood. Not today. Not right now. 

“Hey.” Ben seems to realize how freaked out she is. “We’ll figure this all out. It’ll be okay.” 

She doesn’t say anything. Just fiddles with the bedsheet. Ben continues to get dressed, now standing next to the bed as he buttons up his shirt. 

“At least we don’t have to hide anymore.” 

There’s such confidence in his cadence. It is newfound, this hope he is radiating. 

It breaks her heart in two. 

“I’ll come over later,” Rey finally says, not meeting his eyes. “And we can talk about what this means.”

Ben stills. His hands hover above the final clasp, shirt almost buttoned all the way up. He seems to have stopped breathing. 

“Of course,” he eventually says. 

Rey dares to meet his gaze. She finds so much emotion reflected back at her. His dark eyes glisten with all of it. There’s still hope, but now also sadness, and—above all else—fear. 

He bends, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead. Rey shuts her eyes and breathes him in, savoring the moment. Savoring him.  

All too soon Ben pulls away. He nods stiffly before he leaves her bedroom, just as smoothly and consequentially as he entered.   

 And Rey begins to cry. 

It takes Rey about half an hour to gather enough courage to go downstairs. 

When she finally does, she finds her mother sitting at the bay window in the living room. She’s facing the glass, staring out into the front yard as she sips her morning coffee. 

Her mood is still hard to place. 

She turns as Rey enters the room, sets her mug down on the floor and gestures for Rey to join her.

They sit there in silence for a while. Minutes go by before Rey’s mom clears her throat.   

“You were over there a lot. I did wonder...” She stares out the window, sighs. “I wondered if something was going on. I figured it was only a crush.”   

Rey hides her face in her knees, says nothing. Her mother looks over at her. 

“How long?”

It is a question that she does not really know the answer to. How long since they consummated their feelings? How long since they told each other they were in love? How long since she has felt this way? 

Rey simply shrugs. 

“A while.”

Her mother nods.

“And you — you were planning on telling me when?”

It’s Rey’s turn to stare out at her front yard, to watch the dandelions and the long grass sway in the morning breeze. 

“I’m not sure,” she whispers. “I think...I think at first I thought if I didn’t tell anyone that maybe it wasn’t real. That maybe….maybe it was just a dream I was living. And that nothing would have to change. I would just get to wake up and think about how wonderful a dream I had and then move on.” 

She closes her eyes, blinking back tears she feels coming. 

“But then life kept happening and it got more and more real. And I realized it wasn’t a dream. It was life. And that real people were involved, and that I was hurting them.” 

She looks at her mom, quieter now. “I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

“Oh, Rey. Of course not.”

She reaches out for her daughter’s hand, squeezes tight. 

“So it was...you were…” She coughs. “Consensual?”

“Yes. Oh god.” Rey cringes, folds into herself.

Her mom nods. “I just had to make sure. You know...I don’t always get the whole alpha and omega thing. I’m sorry you didn’t grow up around people who really understood. But I want to. Understand, that is.”

It is sweet, the way her mother is trying. The way she has always tried. 

“I get the concern. The age difference and all.”

This gives her mom pause. 

“Is that why you didn’t tell me?” 

“Sort of? I mean, it’s weird. You and dad are, like, friends with him. He’s a real adult. And I’m just some college student on summer break.”

Her mom pulls her hand away, like she has just realized something. “And what about school?”

Another loaded question. What her mother is really asking: Are you ready to become a housewife at the ripe age of nineteen?

No. She’s not. And while Ben would surely not force her into the traditional stay-at-home omega role, who’s to say that deep rooted instincts wouldn’t take over after they were mated?

“I want to finish my degree,” Rey finally says. “And I know that makes things complicated. He thinks we can make it work. But if he’s here, and I’m away at school…” She shakes her head, hit suddenly with a wave of emotion. “I’m just not sure the time is right for us.” 

It’s a realization she discovers the second she speaks the words. Tears fall almost instantly. Her mother holds her, pulls her in and rocks her in her arms like she is only a year old. 

“Then, Rey, you have to tell him. You owe him that much.”

She just nods, soaking her mom’s shirt with tears. 

This is heartbreak, she realizes. This is the worst thing she has ever felt. It has to be. 

When Ben opens his front door, he seems to already know.

“You didn’t use your key.”

His voice is rough, eyes are tired. 

Rey holds out a thin envelope.

“I already sealed it in.” 

He looks down at the envelope in her hands.  

“What is this?”

Rey keeps her eyes focused on the doormat. She swallows.  

“I’m going back to school.” 

This is obviously not what Ben was expecting her to say. He holds on to the doorframe, grips it tight. 

“What?”

“I’m going back to school, Ben. Soon.”

He nods. 

“I know you are. And we’re gonna make it work.” 

“I don’t know how we could.”

Ben looks pained. He opens and closes his mouth several times, but says nothing.

“I love you, Ben. But I don’t think the time is right.” Rey stutters over her words, heart pounding in her chest. “I think we should stop. This, us.”  

It is quiet. Nothing to hear but the sound of the wind rustling the pine trees. 

“If that’s what you want,” Ben eventually says. 

It’s not what Rey wants. Not at all. What Rey wants is for Ben to beg. She wants life to be easier, for him to convince her to stay. 

He doesn’t. He won’t. She knows that he won’t. He is too good. 

Ben takes the envelope then, shuffling awkwardly in his doorway. He doesn’t seem to want to close the door. She doesn’t want to walk away. 

But she has to. She’s made her decision. Now she has to live with it. The question is how will she live with it? Without him? Without Benji? 

As if on cue, she hears the little boy wail from upstairs. He must be waking up from his nap. Her heart sinks to the ground.

“Tell him I love him,” Rey whispers. “Make sure he knows.”

Ben’s face softens a little bit. 

“He knows.” Ben folds the envelope in half, sticks it in his back pocket. “We both do.” 

Everything hurts. She feels completely awful.  

“Good,” Rey says. “That’s good.” 

She pulls on her sleeve, knows this is when she has to walk away. Their eyes meet for a final time, and it’s the worst thing she’s ever felt in her life, knowing that they both now know that this is the end. 

“Goodbye,” she breathes, on the verge of tears, doing everything she can to hold it in. 

“Goodbye, Rey.”

Somehow she finds the strength to turn around. 

Somehow she finds the strength to walk away.

Somehow she wills it in her to not cry. That is, until she makes it back into her bedroom. Tears streak her cheeks the moment her face hits her pillow, and they don’t stop for a long, long time.  

A month passes in both seconds and years. 

If you were only watching from the outside, you wouldn’t know that anything was wrong.  

Rey prepares for her sophomore year of college as best as she can. She orders a new bedspread for her dorm room. It’s light purple and dotted with tiny golden stars. She thinks that it might help her sleep better. Worth a shot.  

She swims laps out back in the pool, preparing for the upcoming season. Coach’s angry voice rings through her head the entire time, taunting her for slacking on her training. What? She had been busy.

Not so much now.   

She even signs up for the earliest move in date possible, reserved usually for those who have conflicts with the original weeks scheduled. 

It is not a lie when she calls the university and tells them she has such a conflict. 

Because she does. 

Luckily, they do not ask her to specify exactly what it is. They just tell her there is an open slot in a couple weeks, and that they look forward to seeing her soon. 

She is glad that they do not ask. Because, if they did, Rey would have to tell them that her heart is broken, that it is all of her own doing, and that it is so debilitating most days she doesn't even get out of bed in the morning. 

If you were only looking from the outside it may look like Rey is doing fine. But a simple step closer would tell even the least observant of people that she is suffering. 

It is early August, scorching hot and humid as ever, and Rey has never felt more miserable in her entire life.  

There is now only one day before she gets on a plane and flies back to school, and she has not seen Ben in a month.  

A month.

He lives just next door, but she has never felt farther away from someone. Her body aches for him. She is always tired and worn out even if she does nothing but lay in bed. And, save for sometimes swimming laps in the pool, that is where she always is. In her bed.  

When she’s lucky enough to fall asleep, her dreams are filled with him. Ben holding her. Ben kissing her. Ben braiding her hair and baking her pie and saving her from sudden death. Ben carrying Benji in one arm and her on his back as they stroll down a secluded beach. That dream is a personal favorite of hers. She lies awake most nights trying to figure out how lucid dreaming works so she can experience it again just once. 

She feels called to him, in the way that all omegas feel called to be with their alphas. That is what Ben is, isn’t he? Her alpha. Doctor Kanata had said so. They are meant to be. Destined. 

God, she must be the worst omega in all of existence. Lucky enough to have a soulmate and selfish enough to throw it all away. And for what? 

Rey hides under her covers. She is in bed, as she always is nowadays. She is wearing Ben’s sweater and nothing else. And she is crying. 

Because tomorrow morning she will leave. She will pack up and leave, and she won’t get to say goodbye to the only man she has ever loved, and it is all her fault. 

Rey cries and bullies herself some more until a little bit of common sense returns. It is not selfish to want things for yourself, Rey thinks. It is not selfish to want to get an education. It is not selfish to want to be young for however long you have left. 

She pulls her head back out from under the covers and huffs a breath, wiping her tear-streaked cheeks with Ben’s sweater’s sleeve.

It’s the only thing she has left of him. She wears it every day, soaking up the last bits of his scent that linger behind. She mouths on the neckline, buries her face in its material. Tries to taste him, smell him. Wants him so much it hurts. 

Rey hates that this is who she has become. She just….misses him.

She misses Benji too. They used to spend every day together. She became able to anticipate his every want, his every need. They were best friends. If Rey is being honest, it sometimes felt like she was his mom. 

She wishes she was his mom.

It wouldn’t be good for Rey to watch Benji anymore now that she and Ben are broken up. That wouldn’t be possible. But, god, does it hurt to not have either of the Solo boys in her life anymore. 

Some mornings Rey can see Leia arrive to babysit. She watches, perched at her bedroom window, as the woman walks up the stone path and into the house. 

Sometimes, if she’s feeling in the mood to hurt herself, she’ll even watch Ben’s car pull out of the driveway shortly after. She never looks at the windshield — wouldn’t be able to stand it for a second — but she can watch his car back away. It is enough to just know that he is in there. If she saw him, oh. If she saw him. 

She knows she would never ever be able to leave him again in her life. 

That is not all. 

Every night, as Rey readies herself to try and fall asleep, she notices the glow from the window just across from her own. From Ben’s room. 

Is he standing at the window waiting for her, hand pressed up against the glass? Is he seated on top of his bed, grading papers absentmindedly, hoping maybe he’ll catch a glimpse of her? 

Or maybe it is nothing at all. Maybe Rey is the furthest thing from his mind. Maybe it is just a bedroom light. 

Maybe Ben has moved on, and maybe Rey should try to as well. 

Rey cringes as she thinks that. Hm. 

So maybe it has nothing to do with her. That is possible. Probable, even. But Rey will just pretend that it does. She needs something to hold onto. 

Something to keep her going. 

When Ben pulls into his driveway, he sees Rey’s mom watering the flowers in her front yard.  

He hasn’t seen much of the Niima family in the past month. A few fleeting glances, polite smiles. Nothing from Rey at all.  

It hurts. A lot.

Ben isn’t quite sure why he gets out of his car and heads over to the white fence that separates their two houses. He’s certainly not expecting much, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

Besides. There’s something he wants to know.   

He clears his throat, and Rey’s mom finally looks over at him. She’s a bit startled, clearly not expecting him to try and speak with her, but flashes another one of those stilted smiles his way. 

“Ben.”

He waves, nods. “It’s nice to see you.”

“Likewise.” 

Ben glances up at Rey’s bedroom window. The curtains are closed, and her fairy lights aren’t on. They haven’t been on for a while, actually. 

“She’s miserable, you know.” 

Ben’s eyes snap back over to hers. “I’m sorry?”

Rey’s mom sighs. “Rey is...she’s trying. But I don’t know if she’ll ever really get over you.”

It should be impossible, but Ben feels his already-broken heart shatter again. He shuts his eyes, clenches his fists. “When does she leave?”      

“Tomorrow morning.”

And, oh, he was wrong. This is worse. Because now he knows when Rey is leaving, and she’s leaving tomorrow, and he loves her, he loves her so much he could just about explode, and there’s nothing he can do about the fact that she’s already almost gone. 

Ben lets out a strangled breath, one that he tries to disguise as a cough. It doesn't work. He just ends up sounding as broken as he feels. 

“That is...soon.”

Rey’s mom looks down. “It is.” 

He’s about to turn around and head inside his house when he stops. “It will always be Rey,” Ben says, surprising himself with his own words. “She is everything.” 

Rey’s mom nods sadly.  “I know, Ben. I know.”

He’s not really sure how he gets back inside his home, but he does. Leia kisses him on the head and tells him goodnight before she leaves. He goes through the motions of putting Benji down to sleep, before he cracks open a beer and sits on the couch. 

Rey leaves tomorrow. 

And he is going to let her go. 

He sinks into the couch and nurses his beer for about an hour, savoring it and wallowing in his own self pity. He feels like shit. Everything hurts. It feels like the most integral part of him has been forcibly ripped out. There’s a missing piece, a gaping hole. He’s empty. 

He falls asleep with all of his clothes on. When he wakes in the middle of the night, it’s with a headache and a crick in his neck. Rey’s almost gone. Rey’s almost gone. Rey’s almost gone. It’s all he can focus on. 

He never even got to give her her birthday gift. 

Ben stretches as he rises from his spot on the couch. He yawns, treks over to the kitchen to make himself a glass of water. The fridge door still boasts the stick figure drawing Rey made of the three of them. 

His heart aches for her.

Back in his bedroom, he readies himself to go to bed properly. Strips down to his underwear, brushes his teeth. Sighs. Keeps his light on and blinds open, just in case. 

He’s about to hit the hay when he stops himself. He pulls the bottom drawer in his bedside table open and takes out the gift he made for Rey’s birthday. It’s not for a couple weeks. He’ll never get the opportunity to give it to her, he realizes now. 

It’s a little scrapbook. Nothing special. Rey said she didn’t want anything fancy. She said all I want is you. His heart breaks again at the memory. How is it possible for a heart to break this many times?

He flips to the first page. It’s a picture of the three of them laying on the floor in the living room. Benji’s crawling on Rey’s chest. Ben’s taking the photo—his arms are the longest—and he’s not not smiling at the camera, but selfies are hard. It’s more of a smirk. Rey, on the other hand, is beaming at him. Teeth shining, dimples bursting. Staring directly at Ben.  

It is his favorite picture. He is so glad she made him take it. 

He quickly flips through the rest of the book, finds the little notes he left in the margins. 

Remember how much you loved my dinner on this night? He wrote next to a picture of them at the dining room table. Benji has smashed food on top of his head. Rey laughs, and Benji laughs back. I’ll have to make it more often for you. 

No place I’d rather be, he wrote on a picture he took of them together in bed. She’s asleep in his arms. 

I love the way you love him, he wrote underneath the photo he took of Rey and Benji both asleep in his rocking chair. And I love the way he loves you.  

Ben closes the book. Sighs, rubs at his eyes. 

He has to give this to her, he decides. He must.

Ben pulls some wrapping paper out of the closet in the hallway. He quickly folds a tiny card, writes a brief message. Wraps up the scrapbook. 

All he knows is that Rey leaves tomorrow morning. That could be at any time. He could miss her. He can’t miss her. 

So Ben ties his bathrobe around his waist, slips on his loafers, and walks over to Rey’s front porch. He leaves the present on the doormat. 

There. Good. 

For the first time in a long time, he smiles. Rey will get his birthday gift after all. 

And then the nagging voices appear in the back of his head. She’s trying to move on from you and what makes you think she would want this and who do you think you are? 

Maybe he’ll regret it in the morning. Maybe he won’t. Who knows. 

But as Ben walks back over to his own house, all he knows is that he had to give it to her. 

And he smiles again.  

Rey wakes before her alarm clock. 

She probably got five hours of sleep at best. That’s not too bad, all things considered. 

She dresses quickly before heading downstairs to make herself a pot of coffee. The sun peeks in through the window over the kitchen sink, forcing her to rub her eyes as she adjusts to the light. It’s too early for this.

As the coffee brews, she takes a moment to look about her house in the morning light. It’s so peaceful, all quiet like this. Nothing but the sound of the coffee dripping into the pot.  

Her eyes scan over to the suitcases that wait at the end of the stairs. Soon she’ll be stuffing them in the back of her dad’s car before he drives her to the airport. 

She’s really gonna go through with it, huh? 

The coffee finishes brewing. She pours herself a cup, deciding to drink it outside on the front porch to soak up the last bits of home that she can. Birds chirp the second she opens the door. She closes her eyes, breathes it all in. The air has a faint breeze and the warm sun feels so good on her skin. She will miss this.  

But then she opens her eyes, and her heart stops. Because, resting right there on the welcome mat, sits a small package. There’s a card attached. Rey, it reads, unmistakably written in Ben’s perfect penmanship.    

She bends, picks up the package with shaking hands, and quickly opens the tiny card. 

Your birthday gift. Perhaps now it functions as your goodbye gift. Have a good year, Ben.   

Rey gasps, pulling the package into her chest and hugging it tight. God, everything hurts. Will it always be like this?

She hurries back inside, shutting the door tightly behind her.

“Honey?” she hears her mother yell from the kitchen. “I wondered where you were. I’m making pancakes!”

Rey swallows back tears, frozen in the entryway. 

“Yum,” she musters. “Be there in a second.” 

Her brain runs on overdrive, so overstimulated from just this little bit of contact with Ben alone. Should she open the gift?

No, she decides. Not yet. She wouldn't be able to handle it. 

Later. She’ll open it later. On the plane, maybe. Yeah. That sounds good. 

Rey zips open her carry-on and sets the gift from Ben right at the top. 

The rest of the morning flies by. Sooner rather than later she’s giving her final goodbyes to her house. Maybe it’s dumb, but it’s a tradition that goes back years. Whenever she leaves for a long period of time, she makes sure to say goodbye to each individual part of the house. She waves goodbye to the swimming pool, to the kitchen, to the huge tree in the front yard. Her dad smiles at her, no doubt glad to see glimpses of a happier Rey. “Did they say goodbye back this time?” He teases. 

She sticks her tongue out at him. “It’s not about that. I’m not looking for a response. It’s more about me, and the act of letting go.” 

He pulls her in for a hug, ruffles her hair. “Yeah, I know pumpkin. I know.” 

Her mom exits the house and locks the front door, clears her throat. “We gotta head out soon, don’t want her to miss her flight.” Rey’s dad nods and hops in the car, mom following behind him and hopping in the passenger side. 

Rey swallows, and looks over at Ben’s house. 

“Goodbye,” she whispers, voice breaking. She waves at his house, staring at the large window by the front door. She’s just about to get in the car herself when the window’s curtain moves to the side.  

She sees him. Ben. 

He’s holding Benji in one arm and pressing his hand against the glass with the other. She chokes, not knowing exactly how to react. Her body sings with joy, her heart aches, her head spins. She waves again, fresh tears staining her cheeks, and he waves back. 

All instincts tell her to run directly into his arms right this very instant. She wants to. So badly.     

But she can’t. 

So, before she changes her mind, she jumps into her dad’s car and shuts the door behind her. 

“Ready?” her dad asks as she buckles her seatbelt. 

Not at all, she thinks. “Yes,” she whispers instead. 

And so he drives them away. 

Ben decides, right at that very moment, that he cannot let her leave. 

He looks down at Benji. The boy is pointing at the window, fixated on the spot where Rey was just standing outside. It’s the first time they both have seen her in a little over a month, and Ben’s reeling. 

Life doesn’t feel right without her. And by the look on her face just now, he’s sure she feels the same way. 

It is invigorating, this newfound spirit he feels coursing through his veins. It’s something more than adrenaline. He’s certain, now. He can not let her go.

“We’ve got to go to the airport.” 

Ben starts moving the second after he speaks the words aloud. His giant feet trip up the stairs in his haste, rushing around from room to room. In no time at all he’s put together a bag full of necessities. He’s not sure what’s going to happen, so he packs primarily for Benji. Diapers, a few onesies, bottles, baby formula. He sticks his toothbrush and a couple of Cliff Bars in the bag at the last minute, before deciding he can not spend another second in his house. They need to get on the road. Now. 

Quickly, he slips on a pair of slacks and an old sweater. Can’t show up at the airport in his bathrobe. He stuffs his wallet in his back pocket, grabs his son and his bag, and races outside to the car.  

Ben buckles Benji in his carseat before barreling out of the driveway. It’s a thirty minute drive to the airport on a good day. Forty-five with traffic. 

He presses down on the gas and just drives, refusing to worry about the consequences. “Never do this,” he says while switching over into a new lane. “Speeding is bad. I’m not setting a very good example.” 

Benji simply gurgles in response.

“I’m only doing this so we don’t miss Rey. Her plane...it leaves soon.” 

There are a few seconds of quiet, before Benji says, “Mama.” 

Ben shuts his eyes, nods. 

“Yeah, Benji. Mama.”

Ben drives, and he drives, and he drives, cutting people off left and right and going way over the speed limit, before he finally sees the green sign that indicates the airport is only an exit away. He lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. Somehow, he made it to the airport in record time. 

Nerves start to creep in as he turns into the short term parking lot. She’s here. She has to be. There’s no way her plane has left yet. Ben scours the area for her father’s car, focusing on those idling by the sidewalk. 

He quickly parks, grabbing his bag and his son, all the while continuing to scan the cars that line the busy street.

It would be easier if he knew which airline she was flying out of. But, because he doesn’t, he just starts at the end of the sidewalk and speedwalks his way up the line. He’s passed through both the American Airlines and Delta areas before he spots it. 

Rey’s dad’s car springs to life outside the Southwest drop-off zone. It drives away, and Ben sprints. 

This has to mean that Rey is already in the ticketing and check-in area. He races up the sidewalk and in through the automatic sliding glass door. People gape at him for his haste, but he doesn’t care. He’s singularly focused at the moment.   

This must be the first time in all of history where there aren’t any lines around the bag check area. Of course. That’s just his luck. He races over to the nearest flight departures screen, scanning quickly to find Rey’s boarding area. The screen changes, and he sees it.  

Flight 4379, Terminal 2, Gate A. 

And just like that he’s off. Ben maneuvers around the random families that block his path, following the signs and racing to the TSA line for Terminal 2. Benji’s beginning to  get antsy, pulling at his shirt and babbling less than enthused nonsense. 

“Shh, it’s okay.” Ben leans down to kiss him on the head. “It’s all gonna be okay.”

Finally, he comes across a painted sign that reads Terminal 2 with a huge left arrow. Ben picks up his pace, turning the corner down a long and narrow hallway. 

He knew the empty lines at bag check had to be the beginnings of some sort of sick joke — because it seems that this is where all the people in the entire airport have decided to congregate. The hallway is completely packed, filled to the absolute brim. There is quite literally a line to get into the room where you will have to wait in line for TSA. The stuff of nightmares.  

Ben can’t waste any time on this. He begins frantically scanning the faces of everyone in line in front of him, desperate to find Rey in the sea of people. 

He’s scanned every person that he can, but there’s an entire section of people in the front who are blocked by a thick column. Despite his height, he can’t see around it. 

Oh, well. Now it’s time to lie.

“Excuse me,” he says to the family standing in front of him. “But my wife is quite ahead of me in line...would you mind if I squeezed by you?”

They shrug indifferently, making just enough room for him to slide by them. Ben repeats this lie a couple more times until he can finally see past the column, and oh my god, there she is, there’s Rey. She’s at the very front, the next person who will be allowed in the line to go through TSA.

“REY,” he screams, pushing past people at this point. “REY!!!” 

She’s not hearing him. Maybe it’s the amount of people in the room. Or maybe she’s wearing headphones. Ben’s not sure. All he knows is that he continues screaming her name, pushing past people in a frenzy, when a TSA agent grabs him by the arm and stops him in his tracks. 

“Sir, I have to ask you to step to the back of the line.”

“Oh, no, you don’t understand, that’s my wife up there, and she—”

“Can wait for you at your gate. You have to wait in line just like everybody else, sir. We have a no cutting policy.”

“No, but you don’t understand, I can’t let her get on this flight, I can’t let her go into that room, I don’t even have a ticket—”

“You don’t have a ticket?”

“I, uh, well, no, but…”

“Sir. I’m gonna have to ask you to step out of line.”

“WAIT—” 

Ben watches as Rey walks right into the next room and out of his line of sight, effectively smashing his heart into a thousand little pieces. “But...but she was right there…I was so close….” he says as the TSA agent escorts him to the back of the line. 

“Sir, just a suggestion. Waiting in this line isn’t gonna get you anywhere without a ticket.” And then the man walks off, shaking his head as he goes. 

Ben sighs. The point was to stop Rey from getting on the plane in the first place, but whatever. The TSA agent has a point. 

He needs a ticket. Pronto.

Ben races to the nearest ticketing booth, where five other families stand in front of him. They all take their sweet time in explaining what exactly they need, and by the time it’s Ben’s turn he’s just about sweat through his shirt entirely. The ticket agent waves him up to the counter.

“Can I help you?”

“Flight 4379. We need to get on it. Now.” 

Maybe he could be a little less demanding, but he’s so over being civil. He needs to get to Rey. Now. The ticket agent nods, begins typing at her computer. After a minute or two she exhales, pouts. 

“Oh no. That flight actually just closed its gate and was cleared for takeoff.”

Ben’s heart sinks to the floor. He swallows, clenches his fists. “It—what. ”  

The ticket agent nods sympathetically. “Unfortunately, yes. Flight 4379 is probably taking off right now as we speak.”

“It’s…” Ben stutters, runs a hand through his hair. “It’s gone?”

The woman disregards his question.

“Would you like me to put you on the next flight out there? Another one leaves in less than an hour.”  

“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in his response. “Yes, get me a ticket.” 

“You got it.” 

And that’s how Ben finds himself squished between two random strangers in an economy class seat definitely not suitable for anybody of his size and stature, desperately praying that his son will not cry for the entire duration of the two hour long flight.

Who is he kidding? Benji will definitely cry. 

It will all be worth it, though. Ben stares out the tiny window at the empty runway. They’re about to take off. He’s nervous, of course. But he’s also determined in a way he has never fully allowed himself to express before. 

I’m coming Rey, he thinks as the plane starts to pick up speed. He pulls Benji into his chest, cradling him comfortingly. Within a few seconds they’re in the air, climbing through different altitudes quickly. One step closer to her. He shuts his eyes, breathes soundly. 

Wait for me. 

The way the sun shines through the cloudscape should comfort her. It really is gorgeous, how the light hits the fluffy peaks and casts dramatic shadows all around. 

Getting on the plane was supposed to be the right choice. The smart choice. Then why does she feel like she just made the worst mistake of her life? 

So no, the gorgeous view outside her window doesn’t make her feel better at all.

In actuality, Rey feels nothing but regret.  

Oh—and a deep ache in her chest. There's an insistent stabbing pain that feels like her insides are being shredded apart. This is more than simply heartbreak. Something is wrong. Very, very wrong.

But what? She hasn’t missed a single day of suppressants. Her heat isn’t due any time soon either. 

She needs answers. So, Rey decides to fork over the $8.99 for in-flight mobile Wi-Fi and quickly opens her Safari app. 

Terrible pain omega not in heat, she Googles. The first hit is a Buzzfeed listicle about the top five uncommon reasons omegas can experience severe pain outside of their heats. 

Oh joy.    

She scrolls, rolling her eyes at the words But are you sure you’re not in heat?  Yes. She is sure.

Most of the reasons listed are useless. She already knows that it has nothing to do with a rare month-long knotting session or taking expired suppressants. But reason number five gives her pause. It reads: Separation From Your Alpha, and yeah. That sounds about right.

To those omegas who have already found their alpha partner, beware traveling too far away from them. Many omegas experience extreme pain that is intrinsically connected to physical separation between a mated alpha and omega pair.* Though an outdated practice, doctors attribute its original purpose to the days in which alphas treated omegas more like possessions — the pain at separation forcing the omega to stay with their alpha mate forever or instead face severe, never-ending torture. It is said this is also where the term “heartbreak” originated, as the pain centers around the chest area where the heart is located. How far is too far? It varies. We recommend always staying within the same city as your alpha partner just to be safe.  

*While rare, this is also said to apply to certain unmated alpha/omega couples—colloquially referred to as “soulmates”—depending on the compatibility between said pairs.   

Sure, Doctor Kanata told her that it would be a bad idea to leave Ben, that there might be severe consequences. But Rey had no idea that this is what she meant. It’s agonizing, the pain she’s currently in. 

The worst part of all of this? It took her this long to realize exactly what she wants. She wants Ben. She wants him, no questions asked. She wants him, whether there be an excruciatingly painful ache in her chest right now or not. She wants him at his worst, wants him at his best, wants him to be hers always.  

She’s finished with her pride, done forcing herself to go through with old plans just because she was afraid to accept that her path had changed. Screw it. Her life did change this summer. It changed forever, and you want to know what? She’s no longer scared by that fact. No, she’s ready to embrace it. 

Oh, god, it was such a mistake to get on this plane. She needs to get back to Ben. She needs Ben. Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben. He’s the only thing on her mind. 

His gift. 

Rey reaches down for the backpack she shoved under the seat in front of her, quickly zipping it open and pulling out the present.

She tears into the wrapping paper, not caring at all about the mess she’s making. The present — it looks to be a scrapbook of some kind. Maybe a photo album? She flips it open and discovers it's both at the same time. Ben has filled the scrapbook with notes all over the margins, heartfelt musings that make her sob uncontrollably.   

She wants to fill scrapbook after scrapbook with stories about their love. She wants enough to fill an entire shelf, no, an entire bookcase. Yes. An entire bookcase stacked only with scrapbooks detailing the love that they share. She wants each and every one filled with pictures of them, of little inside jokes and cute memories and moments of their life together. 

Rey is not going to let her regret weigh her down. No. She is going to get off of this plane, and she is going to march right over to the ticketing booth, and she is going to fly back home. 

Back to Ben.

Chapter Text

It’s not that Rey is trying to move this slow, it’s just that this is all she can currently handle. The pain in her chest—it’s bad. Really, really bad. And it keeps getting worse. She cringes, thinking about the way she hobbled off the plane. The woman behind her asked if she needed any help. It was sweet, it really was, but Rey couldn’t help but snap at her. Yes, she had said. I do need help, but there’s no way you could possibly ever give me what I need. 

The woman scoffed before she scurried around Rey’s wincing form. It was pathetic, the way Rey mumbled an apology under her breath. 

Somehow she made it to baggage claim, somehow she retrieved all three of her suitcases from the luggage carousel, and somehow she’s managed to fit them all on an oversized cart. It’s just...she doesn’t really have the strength to push it. At least, not more than a couple feet per minute.    

So, yeah. Rey’s pretty much a wreck. She needs food. Food will make it all better. Maybe she’s on a bit of a time crunch, but this is something she won’t compromise on. She. Needs. Sugar. 

Her eyes light up when she finally turns the corner and sees the Auntie Anne’s kiosk a mere sidestep away. Rey uses all of her strength and pushes her cart right up to the counter, quickly swatting hair out of her eyes before she makes eye contact with the employee. 

“Hi. So—I’ll get two orders of cinnamon sugar nuggets, please. Oh, and one of those hot dogs wrapped entirely in pretzel. Yeah, one of those. With the cheese. Perfect. And a large lemonade. That’ll be it.” 

The man hands over her order, and she could cry from how good it smells. She thanks him so earnestly and profusely he looks at her like she’s a bit insane. Rey doesn’t care. She just pushes her cart over to the nearest empty bench and lays down, stuffing her hand inside the greasy bag to grab herself a pretzel nugget. She ends up grabbing two—they’re connected, how fun—and the joy she feels when she stuffs them in her mouth is indescribable. She feels whole again. It’s almost like the incessant stabbing pain in her chest is slowly fading away. But it can’t be, that would be impossible, because she’s here and Ben is back home and she made the choice to leave. 

She sits up and takes a sip of her lemonade before finishing off her pretzel dog. Hmm. The thing is, she’s starting to think her first instinct was right. Because the pain in her chest is most definitely fading. It’s hurting less and less and she feels almost normal, now, but that would be impossible. It has to be impossible, unless—

“REY!” 

She turns, and there he is. Ben. He’s racing towards her, clutching Benji in one arm and dodging everything that stands in his way. It doesn’t feel real, the way she instantly stands and charges toward him, the way she throws herself into his arms, the way she pulls his lips down to meet hers.

“Are you here?” She breathes into his mouth between kisses. “Did I fall asleep on the bench? Is this a soft pretzel-induced coma?” 

Ben laughs, and then Benji laughs, and then they’re all laughing and crying and holding each other. “I followed you to the airport. I saw you—I screamed for you—but I was too late.” 

Rey buries herself in his chest, rubs her neck into his shirt. Her body rejoices, his pheromones calming her instantly. She feels reborn. “I shouldn’t have left. I regret it. So much. Ben—”

He forces her to meet his eyes, cradles her chin in his giant palm. “Yes?”

“I want you. All of you, in every aspect, forever.”

“Forever?” His eyes are blown wide, and they shine with hope. She nods, leaning down to press a kiss in his hand. “Forever.” 

And then they’re both crying, and kissing, and smiling, and happy, and Rey feels that this may very well just be the greatest moment of her entire life. 

They decide against flying home immediately. The soonest flight they could get leaves in a couple hours, and Benji’s just too exhausted. 

“We could always move into your dorm,” Ben suggests.

Rey gives him a look. “Funny.” 

He shrugs. “I’m serious.” 

She considers it for a moment. “I guess it is a free place to stay for the night.”

Ben nods absentmindedly as he calls them an Uber. “And then we can leave first thing in the morning.”

Rey leans against him. His free arm wraps instinctively around her waist, pulling her tight against his chest. “Exactly. Right after I finish up at the Financial Aid office.”

Ben’s arm tightens further. 

“What?”

Rey twists around, now facing him. 

“I’m gonna withdraw from Coruscant University tomorrow.”

Ben was clearly not expecting this. “You’re...sure?”

She rolls her eyes.

“What, did you think I was gonna fly back and forth every single day?”

“I….didn’t want to assume anything.”

Rey shakes her head. “Ben. Listen to me. This is what is going to happen. I’m going to withdraw from school. Maybe take a semester or two off, depending on how I’m feeling. We’ll see. And then I’m going to apply to transfer to Chandrila University.” Ben’s eyes widen at this, and she smirks. “I sorta know one of the professors there. I think he could put in a good word for me.”

Ben brushes hair out of her face, traces her bottom lip with his thumb. He’s smiling. “Oh yeah?” 

She smiles back, and he bends down to kiss her. 

“Yeah,” she mumbles against his lips. “I think he sorta has a crush on me or something.”

Ben snorts. 

“Mm. Or something.”  

Rey’s dorm room is small. 

It’s always been small, even before there was a giant alpha taking up all this extra space. Ben curses as he hits his head on the ceiling, and Rey hides a laugh. He notices anyway.

“That funny to you?” 

“A little.”

“Hmph.” 

Ben crosses the room and bends, grabbing onto the frame of one of the room’s two twin beds. Rey hops on top of the other bed, cradling Benji against her chest.  

“What’re you doing?” 

Ben grunts, like it’s obvious. “Pushing the beds together. There’s no way we could all fit on just one of these things.” 

“Oh.” 

Rey lies back as Ben maneuvers the two beds together to form somewhat of a bigger bed for the three of them. When he’s finished, he settles down next to her to appraise his craftsmanship. It’s better than just a twin bed for sure, but Ben still takes up all the room. He’s practically on top of her. 

“Here.” Rey passes Benji over to him before she jumps off the bed and crawls over to one of her suitcases. She pulls out her pillow and a bedsheet. “This okay?” 

Ben nods, reaching his hand out to drag her back over to him. “Perfect.”    

She takes his hand and lets him pull her up beside him, fitting her right in his crevice. “Though I’d rather use you as a blanket instead.” 

She swats at his chest. “Ben."  

He laughs, playing absentmindedly with her fingers as Benji lets out a giant yawn. It starts a chain reaction, and Ben glances down at his watch. “It’s just about 5.” 

Rey sighs. “Wow. Early. It has been a long day though. Did he get any sleep on the plane?”

Ben snorts. “I wish.”

“Poor baby.” She kisses Benji on the forehead, turns to look at Ben again. “Why don’t you book our return tickets now before you get too tired.” 

“Done. Did it on the car ride over.”

“Oh. Wow.”

Rey makes her eyes all wide, turns to stare at Benji in the funny way that he likes. “You hear that, Benji? Someone’s eager to get back home.” 

The boy laughs, giggling and clapping as she continues to make funny faces at him.

“I won’t be shamed for this.” Ben makes an exaggerated face of his own, brings his hands up and wiggles his fingers by Benji’s little tummy. “Two can play at this game.”

Rey smiles. “What? The who-can-make-Benji-laugh game?”

“Exactly.” Ben continues to wiggle his fingers and make the same mischievous face.  

“Oh no, Benji…” Rey whispers. “That looks like the tickle monster.”

“It looks like the tickle monster…” Ben hovers his hands for a second before he tickles his son’s tummy with wild abandon. “Because it is the tickle monster!”  

And then they’re all laughing, and squirming, and squealing, and there’s no way Benji’s as tired as he was before. But Rey finds that she doesn’t care that they riled him up. 

Because, for the first time in a long time, she’s happy. 

“Can I borrow some toothpaste?”

Rey nods, balancing Benji on one side as she digs through her toiletry case with her free hand. 

Ben laughs. “Here, just give him to me.” Rey passes the boy over, and finally she finds the tube at the bottom of the bag. She squeezes a bit onto Ben’s brush before she does the same with her own, and then they’re both brushing their teeth. They make eyes at each other in the mirror, matching each other’s movements and smiling around their toothbrushes. The moment’s intimate, even if it is taking place in her dormitory hall’s shared bathroom.

It’s too early for there to be a stampede of girls trying to use the showers, as only a couple of students moved in with Rey today. Thankfully this means they’re left alone. 

Ben spits, maneuvers his head under the running faucet and gargles some water, before he spits again. “All clean,” he says cheekily, before pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll meet you back in the room.” 

Rey smiles. “Just gonna wash my face, I’ll be done soon.”

Ben leaves, and Rey sets about finishing the rest of her routine. She’s rummaging around her bag looking for her moisturizer when she finds it. 

Her bottle of suppressants.

Rey sighs. She pulls them out of her bag, rattles the pills around a little bit. The bottle’s half-full. She’s never missed a day of taking them. Never. Rey tilts her head, deep in thought. 

Does she need them anymore? 

She’s made her choice. It’s Ben. She’s chosen forever with Ben. And she doesn’t want to waste any more time. 

The things she’s heard about sex without suppressants….yeah. It’s enough to make her confirm her decision. Their sex is already so good….and the fact that she could make it even better?  

That’s all it takes. Rey treks over to the nearest stall, unscrews the lid, and pours all of her remaining suppressant tablets in the toilet, flushing them down without a second thought.    

When Rey makes it back to the dorm room, she finds Ben sprawled out on the makeshift double bed with Benji fast asleep on top of his stomach. She climbs in beside them, squeezing herself between Ben’s underarm and chest.

“It’s the fastest he’s gone down in weeks,” Ben whispers. 

Rey hums, nods. “He was tired.” 

Ben turns his head to look at her, entwining their fingers and thinking so loudly Rey can almost hear the gears working in his head. “He was.”

Rey pouts. 

“What is it?”

“Hm?”

“I know you. Something’s off.”

“Nothing’s off.” 

Ben squeezes her hand in bursts—quick pulses that sync up with their steady heartbeats. He just stares at her, traces his eyes over all of her features as if looking at her for the very first time. Rey blushes. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He whispers the word too quickly.

“Ben,” she says, bringing his thick fingers up to her lips before pressing sweet kisses to the tips. “Please. Tell me.” 

He lets out a deep sigh, one that seems to go on for ages, before he nods. He meets her eyes again, staring right into her soul.       

“I’m afraid that if I go to sleep I’ll wake up and this will have been a dream.” He swallows, breaks from her eye contact before he continues. “I wouldn’t be able to take it, Rey. I just need to know you’re here with me. I just need to keep looking at you. Keep holding you.”  

Rey winces. Those words cut deep into her heart. She loves Ben more than she’s ever loved another person. She vows in that moment to try her hardest to never hurt him this badly ever again. 

“It’s real,” Rey whispers, voice breaking. “I’m here. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” She squeezes his hand, shifts closer and presses a kiss to his forehead. “You have me. I’m yours.” 

Ben shudders. He breathes heavy, lets it out with a low whistle-y noise. Then he nods.   

“We’ll be back home soon,” Rey reassures him, careful not to wake Benji as she snuggles closer. “We’ll be back home, and we’ll hold each other every day, and we’ll always be together.” 

Ben looks down at his son, and then back over at her. 

“Rey, I’m already home.” 

Her heart bursts with love. She pulls Ben in for a slow and sensual kiss—one that starts innocent enough but quickly gains more and more heat as the minutes go by. She’s so aroused, so in love, so happy that she almost lets Ben take it too far. 

But, uh. Small problem. There’s a baby sleeping on his chest. 

Rey forces herself to pull away, and, predictably, Ben groans in protest. She just giggles at him. “Later,” she promises.

He groans again. “Fine. But Rey….you have no idea. It’s been over a month….” 

She pulls the bedsheet up and over them, eyes the giant bulge in his boxers, and swallows down her own desire before nestling into his side. 

“Trust me, Ben. I think I have a pretty good idea.” 

The sun cuts through the dorm room’s window early in the morning. Ben gets out of bed first, mumbling something about how much he needs a shower before he meanders out of the room. 

Rey takes her time. She cuddles Benji close, holding him up against her chest and pressing soft kisses to his head. She missed this boy so much. 

Only when he starts to get fussy does she finally get up for the day. She mixes his formula, prepares him some snacks. She eats a Cliff Bar herself, one she found stuffed inside Ben’s overnight bag. Not the breakfast of champions but she’ll take what she can get. 

After they eat, Rey lets Benji crawl around next to her suitcases as she digs through them in search of a cute outfit. Eventually she settles on a white sundress, both classic and flattering. She’s rummaging around for her sandals when she hears Ben come in through the door behind her. 

Rey turns from where she sits on the floor and smiles up at him. He’s wearing nothing but a towel slung low around his hips. Water drips down his chest, from his hair. She must be making moon eyes, because his gaze darkens when it meets her own. 

“Hi,” she says, nervous for no reason at all. “I’m gonna shower and then we can head out.” 

He says nothing. 

“Ben?”

He walks over to her, offers her his hand and helps her stand. His eyes are narrowed in on her, pupils blown wide.

“You smell….so good.” 

Rey blushes. “So do you.”

“No, I mean, you always smell good. But today….right now….” He leans down and rests his head on her shoulder, bending to rub his nose against her neck. “I didn’t think it could be possible, Rey, but you smell better than you’ve ever smelled before.”

She melts into his embrace, knees wobbling and arms shaking. He catches her—steadies her—and continues his assault of her neck.

“Trust me, I’m not complaining,” he whispers. “But how?”

Ben mouths at her gland, and Rey continues to fall apart. It takes her a minute to find her words, but eventually she swallows and tells him. “I might’ve...gotten rid of my suppressants.”

Ben pulls away at once. 

“You might have?”

“Er, I did.”

He looks at her like she is the most perfect thing to ever exist. 

“You—Rey. You’re going into heat. Unsuppressed heat.”

She lets out a breath.

“I...I didn’t think it would happen so fast.” She falls against his chest again, lets him wrap his arms around her. “But I’m ready. Are you?”

Ben groans. “Fuck.”

She slaps his chest. “Not in front of the baby.” 

“Sorry. It’s just….yeah. Yeah, I’m ready. Of course I am. Are you kidding?” 

She pulls back and meets his eyes.

“Then I think we have a plane to catch.” 

By the time they’ve finally tucked into their Economy Plus seats, Rey starts to feel the first of the cramps. 

Ben picks up on her distress. He reaches out and curls a comforting hand around her upper thigh. It’s not much, but it helps. Knowing he is here helps. Knowing that they’re hours away from pure bliss….yeah. It all helps. 

Benji sits on his dad’s left leg, and Rey has practically sprawled herself on top of his right side. They sit in comfortable silence as other passengers board, and it’s not long before they’re in the air. 

“I worked it all out with my mom,” Ben says as he reclines both of their seats back and spreads his legs out more comfortingly. “She claimed my car, so it’s gonna be ready and waiting for us at the airport when we get there.”

This makes Rey smile. “I can’t believe you got towed.” 

He shrugs, sheepish. 

“I was in a rush.”

She laughs, curling up against his arm. “Mhm.” 

Ben squeezes her thigh. 

“Anyway.” He swallows, before speaking softer than before. “Mom is gonna meet us there and then take Benji for the week.”

Rey shuts her eyes, body flooding with warmth as she thinks about what this means. She kisses under his chin, mouths at his neck. “You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?”

Ben groans, leaning into her touch. “That’s my job, Rey. To take care of you.” 

His words go straight to her core. She just keeps playing with him—sucking on his neck, nipping at his ear. The best part? She’s not even the slightest bit embarrassed. And, god, she can feel how much Ben loves it, how much the alpha in him preens at his little omega smothering him with affection.

After a while he clears his throat and kindly maneuvers her back over into her own seat.

“Hey,” she pouts, eyes furrowed and arms crossed. “Not nice.”   

She can tell that Ben tries his best not to laugh at her, but he does anyway. This makes her even more mad. She turns her head and faces the window in protest, still pouting.

“Come on, Rey. You know how much I loved it. But not right now.”

“I throw myself at you and you turn me away.” Rey’s not mad. She’s playing it up, purposefully being bratty and refusing to look at him.

“Hey.” He pulls her back to him, cradles her face in his hands and forces her to meet his eyes. “I wasn’t going to say it yet. Wanted to be sure. But now I think it’s inevitable. I can feel it. It’s happening.” 

Rey’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I’m going into rut.”

Air leaves her lungs at his words. “You’re…?”

He nods. “So, yes. Please continue teasing if you’d like me to end up taking you right here in front of all of these other people.”

Rey shuts her eyes, nestles into the warm hand that cradles her chin. She’s so ready for him, craves release more than anything. Ben tightens his grip.

“Oh.” He hums, as if realizing something. “Is that what you want? Do you want me to take you right here in front of everyone? Here, on this little airplane, where every single person will be able to hear you scream for me?” 

She moans, so horny that tears have started to leak out of her eyes. She nods up and down so fast. 

Ben curses under his breath. “You’re so perfect, baby. I wish I could do that for you. I would if I could.” 

Rey is...not well. Slick is starting to leak out of her and onto the seat, and her cramps are getting worse and worse. Maybe her sundress wasn’t the best idea. It’s starting to get messy. She clutches at her stomach and leans back against the headrest. 

Ben reaches for her hand, and she lets him lace their fingers together. 

“I’m sorry it hurts,” he says. “I will help you as soon as I can. I promise.”

Rey nods, wincing as a particularly painful cramp sets in. “I know.” 

“I love you,” he says, leaning closer and pressing a kiss to her forehead. He swallows, bending down to whisper into Rey’s ear. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to control myself.” 

Rey shuts her eyes, melts into his shoulder, and inhales his perfect scent. “I don’t want you to control yourself,” she whispers back. 

“I’m serious. If I go into rut...there’s no telling what could happen.” 

Rey shrugs. “Good.” 

He stiffens. 

“You don’t understand. I won’t be able to stop this time, Rey. I won’t stop.” 

Rey looks back up and meets his gaze, poised and serious. She wants him to know that she understands. She wants him to know that she is ready. 

“I said forever, Ben. That starts today.” 

He waits, as if anticipating for her to finish that statement with ‘just kidding.’ But she doesn’t. She stands her ground, staring back at him with nothing but love and pure conviction.

When he understands she’s serious, Ben exhales. He simply swallows, nods, then starts counting down the seconds until the plane lands.

It’s all a blur.

Rey vaguely remembers meeting Leia outside the arrivals gate—can picture passing Benji off to her. But it starts to get fuzzy after that.

Her body aches. Slick coats her thighs, squelching whenever she rubs them together. Which is often. 

Ben is with her. This Rey knows. He won’t stop reassuring her that he is here, and that he is going to help her soon. But soon isn’t soon enough. She’s tired, and overwhelmingly horny, and she needs him inside of her more than she needs air to breathe.

“Ben?” Rey groans, another cramp rolling through. 

“I’m here, baby. I’m here. Open your eyes. Look at me. I’m here.”

She hadn’t realized they were shut. Rey does just that, blinking as she adjusts to the sunlight, and turns to find Ben beside her. He’s driving. 

“We’re almost there,” Ben says as he takes his eyes off the road to look down at her. “Almost there.” 

Rey whines. The seatbelt is stifling. She uses all of her strength to press down on the release button, exhaling as she stretches out. Much better. 

“That’s not safe, Rey.” 

She scoffs, before falling over the center console and resting her head in his lap. “Hey, hey, baby…” Ben rambles as Rey nestles against the bulge in the front of his pants. “That’s not...you shouldn’t…”

“What?” Rey says drowsily. “Are you really gonna tell me you don’t want this?” 

He doesn’t say anything. Rey smiles. “That’s what I thought.”

She makes quick work of his zipper before pulling him out of his boxers. His cock strains in her hands, all leaking and desperate. Rey moans at the sight. “Missed this.”

Ben grips the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white. Rey peers up at him from where she lays with her head in his lap, and he steals a glance down at her. “Fuck,” he says, groaning as Rey strokes him. “You are perfect.”

“I thought this wasn’t safe. I thought you didn’t want this.”

She’s being cheeky, she knows. There’s no way in hell Ben would ever refuse. He doesn’t even warrant her comment with a response. Instead, Ben takes one of his hands off the wheel and wraps it around her head, leading her mouth directly to his cock. 

She takes it in all too willingly. Finally. He’s inside of her again. Her body sings with pleasure. 

“Feels so good,” he lets out, groaning real low and throwing his head back against the seat. “So good. You’re so good.”

He tightens his grip, threading his fingers through her hair as he attempts to steady his breathing. Rey just continues to take him inch by inch, swallowing him back as far as she can go.

“Can’t believe this...driving 75 miles per hour with one hand on the wheel and my cock down your throat...” 

Rey moans around his length, his words spurring her on. He groans again, not finished with his thought. “It’s unbelievable, that’s what it is. You’re unbelievable.” 

She loves sucking his cock, she really does. It makes her feel powerful. Special. Wanted.

But right now she needs more. Rey worms one of her hands down to her soaked panties, immediately thumbing around for her clit. Ben notices her movements and starts to coo. “We’re here, baby. We’re here. About to pull into the driveway. Don’t worry.” 

The car slows, and Rey carefully pulls herself off of his cock. It’s a messy situation. There’s saliva all over her mouth and chin, and slick has started coming out of her so fast it’s making pools on the seat underneath. She writhes as another cramp rips through her lower stomach, eyes squeezing shut as she folds herself up into a little ball.

But then there’s Ben. 

He’s there, and he’s holding her, and he’s running, and he’s taking off her pretty white dress and panties, and he’s laying her atop his bed, and he’s cradling against her—finally, skin to skin—and then he’s inside. 

Euphoria.

She has never felt anything better than this moment. Ever. Nothing can ever compare. All her pain, all of her suffering, all her mistakes and all of her pride—gone. It vanishes. She’s nothing except his, and it’s all she ever wants to be for the rest of her life. 

They moan simultaneously, allowing themselves to let go completely. A switch seems to go off inside of Ben. He’s sweet, of course, because he’s Ben, but he’s also rougher than ever before. Animalistic as he pounds her into the mattress. 

Oh, yeah. Rey remembers why. 

Ben is in rut.

His eyes are wild as they stare back into her own. He grabs onto her hips with force, taking a brief moment to settle completely inside of her before he resumes the frenzied pace from before. 

She’ll never get over the impossible way it feels. That’s the only way to describe it. It should not be possible for him to be able to fit inside of her. He is just too big. 

It leaves her breathless every single time. The stretch is delicious. She can feel every single ridge of him, every vein, how he drags along her walls. How there isn’t any room left inside of her, how he takes up all of it. How he fills her completely. 

“Waited so long….waited so long for this.” Rey whines at his words, threads her arms around his neck and holds on for the ride. “Done waiting. You’re all mine now. All mine.”

Rey whimpers, so in love with the way he’s talking to her. It’s different; and so, so hot. Ben is just always so nice. And there’s nothing wrong with that, she loves that, she really does. But sometimes Rey doesn’t want nice. Sometimes, Rey wants to be told what to do. Sometimes, Rey wants Ben to take control. 

And now. Finally. 

“You want to know what I’m gonna do?” Ben rasps hoarsely, relentlessly fucking her into the bed. There’s no way she can give him a coherent response. All Rey can do is nod and mutter a breathless stream of yes, hardly aware of anything but the way he’s making her feel. 

“I’m gonna fuck a baby into you.” 

Rey just about collapses. His words threaten to send her over the edge. She hides in his chest, moaning as he continues to rock her into the bed. 

At this point, she’s all omega. His words excite her, overwhelm her. 

“Gonna put a baby in you,” he grunts, pressing kisses into her cheeks. “Do you want that? Do you want me to give you a baby, Rey?”

He wants a real response this time, she can tell. 

“I want that. I want it so bad. Please, Ben.”

Rey flies off the edge on his next hard thrust, her mouth open in a silent scream as her back arches off the bed. She’s dissolved into nothing but pure sensation, held together by his hands, his mouth, his perfect body. She comes for what feels like entire minutes, and for all that she knows it very well could be. Her body clamps down hard around Ben’s cock, just as his thrusts grow sloppy and desperate. 

His knot begins to swell, and it shouldn’t be possible for her to feel any better than she already does. But. 

Somehow. 

This. Nothing compares. She has missed this, the sensation of being locked to him. The safety of it.   

He settles on top of her, slowing down enough to finally catch his breath. His pants turn into steady, measured breaths as he curls even tighter around her body. 

When it happens, it is not overly sentimental. In fact, Rey hardly registers it at first. But then it’s impossible to not notice, because he’s biting her neck. Breaking the skin of her gland. Changing everything. Irreversibly mating her to him for life. 

She gasps, raking her fingers carefully through the messy strands of his hair before tugging gently. He groans into her skin, refusing to let his mouth off of her gland. It’s his new preoccupation, and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to tire from it anytime soon. He cleans the irritated area, laves at the permanent mark he’s just made.

Rather satisfied with himself, might she add. It’s evident in the way he presses kisses, the way he nuzzles. 

Also, she just knows. She can feel him now, can understand exactly what he feels at any given moment. 

He feels like bliss.

And she feels like—she feels like she is finally complete. Like the missing part of her has finally come home. He’s coursing through her veins, he’s the blood pumping through her, he’s in her head and her soul and her heart. He’s there. 

And he’s never gonna leave.

Chapter Text

Rey should have studied more. 

Another session or two would have sufficed. She only allowed herself one day to cram over the weekend. 

Well, okay. Technically, Ben forced her to study. Her husband locked her in his home office with only her textbooks and a roast beef sandwich while he kept the kids busy for hours on end.

So, yes. Rey did study for her final exam. But she definitely could have studied more. 

Could have, should have. It doesn’t really matter. She is going to pass. The questions aren’t impossible, and there are only a handful she isn’t sure about. 

She finishes the last sentence of her short answer question before heading up to the proctor’s desk and laying her exam on top of the small stack. There’s a pep in her step as she leaves the classroom and makes her way through the hallways, turning left towards the faculty offices.  

No one questions her as she heads straight to the office she’s quite familiar with. His door is cracked open just a sliver. Not enough to welcome others in, but enough to let her know he is waiting for her.  

Rey knocks twice, before she pushes it open to find him grading papers at his desk. Ben perks the moment he sees her, immediately standing and making his way over. 

“You’re done?” His smile is wide, dimples digging deep into his cheeks. She could drown in them. 

“Mhm.” She laughs, holding on tight as he picks her up and spins her around, pressing kisses everywhere he can reach. “My smart little wife.” He sets her back down, but doesn’t let go. “What do you want for dinner?”

Rey shrugs. 

“Whatever the kids want. So, chicken nuggets. Or mac and cheese. Mac and cheese sounds good.”

Ben huffs. “Today is about you.”

“I want what they want. Plus, I’m not that hungry anyway.”

He smiles again, softer this time. “If you’re forcing me to have a birthday party then I’m forcing you to celebrate finishing your undergraduate degree.”

Rey hides under his chin, burrows into his neck. “We can celebrate on graduation day.” 

Ben is quiet for a moment before he relents. 

“Okay.” He bends, presses a kiss against her cheek. “I’ll be home in a couple hours.” 

Rey nods, although she doesn't remember why he’s staying later than usual today. “Meeting?”     

“Yeah.” He tenses. “Meeting.” 

His tone sounds...weird. Like he’s hiding something. Hm. 

She doesn’t push him on it right now. Instead, she untangles herself from his arms and kisses him goodbye. “See you at home.”

Rey never gets tired of saying that. Ben smiles back at her.  

“See you at home.”  

He doesn’t notice her at first. 

Rey stands at the preschool’s entrance, holding Ren close to her chest. Her daughter is awake, but she’s fresh off a nap, so she’s still a little groggy. She’s almost the spitting image of her father. Dark hair, golden brown eyes. Dimples.  

She picked Ren up from daycare first, knowing that Benji loves to say goodbye to all the other kids before they’re ever able to go home. Today there’s only a couple minutes of waiting before she hears the telltale scream. Ah. Finally. 

“MOMMY!!!!” 

The boy races over to her, clutching Walter’s tale tightly in his fist and smiling so wide he shows off the gaps of his newly-lost two bottom teeth. He runs right into her legs and starts pulling at the bottom of her skirt.   

“I had soooo much fun today. But now I’m kind of hungry.” 

Rey bends down to meet his level. “How about some chicken nuggets?”

He smiles and jumps up and down. That would be a resounding yes. “But I gotta say goodbye to all my friends first.” 

He runs away before she can respond, so Rey laughs and walks over to his cubby in order to gather all of his stuff together. She’s packing up his little backpack when she notices a piece of construction paper folded in half stuffed into its side pocket.

Curious, Rey pulls it out and opens it right up. Ren coos against her chest, pointing down at the drawing her brother made today.   

There’s a tall stick figure with a wide chest and glasses, a medium sized stick figure wearing a dress, a shorter stick figure holding a whale, and a tiny little stick figure crawling on the ground. Above them, there’s a big heart drawn in red marker. It’s them, Rey knows. Their little family.

Rey gets choked up as she looks down at it, already knowing it’s going to take the most prominent spot on the fridge. She loves it. More than words can say. 

She’s jolted out of her head by a quick tug on her skirt, followed by: “MOM, I’m ready, let’s goooo.”  

And there’s no arguing with that. She smiles, takes hold of his left hand, and escorts him all the way back home. 

Ben rolls his shoulder, fighting the urge to press against the bandage. 

Thankfully his dress shirt covers everything. He doesn’t want to give it away so quickly. 

He’s nervous. 

Sure, they’ve been married for four years now. And yeah, they’re raising two kids together. Not to mention the fact that they’ve already been mated for half a decade. Nothing should phase him by now.  

But this is different. It feels different. Better. And now he only hopes it will make Rey feel better too. 

Ben is not clueless. He notices the way Rey’s eyes linger on his neck while they hold each other in bed. He can feel the way they focus on the crescent-shaped scar he never fully allowed to heal. 

The scar she gave him. From their first heat together. When she told him, desperately, how she would mate him at once if only he had a gland.

Because that’s the thing, isn’t it? As fucked up as it is. Alphas can claim as many omegas as they want, while omegas only get to belong to one person.

And it doesn’t matter how many times Ben tells her, it doesn’t matter how many times Ben shows her, it doesn’t matter how many times she tells him she understands.

Ben can tell she worries about it. About the possibility of him and someone else. Not openly, not explicitly, not even often. But he can just tell. It’s there, underneath everything. Under all the good. 

It’s her biggest insecurity. Ben knows this. And no matter how many times he reassures her that he’ll never take another mate, that she is all he could ever possibly want, how incredibly useless he is without her, it’s there.

So that is why he did it. And, yeah, he probably should have asked her first. But he wanted it to be a surprise.

He hears noises coming from upstairs. Rey is probably putting Benji to bed by now. It’s later than he originally planned. 

There’s a single light on in the kitchen and a pot of mac and cheese left on the stove. He smiles, scooping a bowl for himself and settling down at the table. It’s not much longer before he hears faint footsteps plopping down the stairs and feels familiar arms threading around his neck. “Hi,” she whispers into his ear, cradling closer. “They’re asleep.” 

Rey settles her weight on his shoulders, and Ben flinches.

It’s instinct. The wound is still healing, after all. Rey quickly moves away, giving him a look. She sits beside him at the table instead. 

“Long day?”

Ben takes another bite before he sets his spoon down. “It actually flew by after I knew you were done.” 

She smiles just the slightest bit. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah.” He reaches for her hand, and she rests hers atop his immediately. She traces his fingertips carefully, working her way from his thumb to his pinky. It sends shivers down his spine. When she finishes, he clears his throat.  

“There’s something I want to show you.” 

Rey stills. Waits. But the dinner table doesn’t feel like the best place for this conversation. 

“You tired?” he asks, remembering just how big of a day this was for her. She has to be exhausted. 

She nods. He does too, and they wordlessly agree to rise from the table. 

Ben cleans out his bowl, meticulously pre-washing it before sticking it on the bottom shelf of the dishwasher. Purposefully stalling.

Rey’s already gone upstairs. He lets out a deep breath. It’s time. 

He trudges his way up to their bedroom, where he finds his wife in nothing but one of his old T-shirts. She’s perched on top of the bed. 

Ben shuts the door before going over to her, carefully unbuttoning his dress shirt all the while. One final exhale, then he meets her eyes.   

“You’re it for me.” 

Rey tilts her head, not expecting those words. She looks down at her wedding ring. “I should hope so.”

He chuckles, before tapering off into something more serious again. “I know you know that already. I just...needed to make sure you always know. So that if you doubt even the slightest bit, and you don’t want to tell me because you know it’s stupid, you will know.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Ben sits down beside her. He’s finished unbuttoning his shirt. It falls open, and he takes it all the way off his body before he turns. 

He hears her sharp intake of breath, feels her move closer. She’s noticed the bandage on the back of his shoulder. 

“Are you hurt?”

He faces her again. 

“There’s nothing I want more than for you to mark me as yours. For everyone to know at first glance. For me to belong to you.”

Rey reaches for his hands. 

“You do. You are mine. What are you—”