Archive of Our Own ^beta

They were on the train to Windrixville and Johnny couldn't get his mind to stop replaying the events at the park. He knew that there was no other way for him to get Ponyboy out safe without stabbing that soc, but that was only because Pony was there. The gang would never have forgiven him if the youngest Curtis brother was drowned while he could prevent it.

Johnny looked down at the head resting on his leg. Asleep, Pony looked much younger than his fourteen years. The younger still trembled a bit, probably from the cold, but it wasn't teeth-shattering anymore.

If he'd been much slower, the boy at his side would be a corpse and it would have been all his fault.

Then again, if Ponyboy hadn't wanted to go to the park it was possible that nothing would have happened. Or the socs might have found him again at the lot. That would have been different. If they had caught him again, Johnny knew there was no way that he would have drawn his switchblade.

The terror would probably have been just as strong as the last time, but without someone to keep safe there would be no extra push to fight back. The socs might even have killed him; then the gang would have done something stupid. Dally would probably be the one leading the way. If the socs killed him, Johnny felt he could live with it, but it would destroy his family and that thought hurt.

Didn't really matter then. By killing the soc and going on the run with Ponyboy, they may have hurt the gang too much already. Johnny shivered. The idea of never seeing the gang again, crashing on the couch at the Curtis house, hearing Two-Bit's jokes, or watching Steve and Soda arm-wrestle hit him like a heavy boot to the ribs. It hurt. That Ponyboy might never get to go home either was worse. Darry and Soda were Pony's brothers in blood, not just through the gang; and no matter how much Pony complained about fighting with Darry, Johnny knew love when he saw it. It was something he never saw in the Cade house, but was abundant in that of the Curtis family.

At the very least he kept them from finding their little brother dead in the park. Yeah, Johnny was no hero, but he sure would protect his family. Even if it meant killing another boy and damning his own soul. That switchblade in his pocket was just going to be a reminder while they hid out in the church Dally was sending them to.

The train was starting to slow; this was the stop. Johnny reached to shake Ponyboy awake and told him to jump despite seeing the boy wasn't completely conscious. Johnny jumped too, but the fall was made harder by the leg that had been put to sleep by Pony's resting on it. Now they would take a few minutes to gather themselves before asking directions to Jay Mountain. Then, he would focus on keeping them safe and as well as possible. He would take care of Pony again just like he did hours before.

Just like he would again if called to do so.