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Chapter Text

He should’ve known it was a trap. He was already on to Lupin. Disappearing every full moon, an uncanny aversion to wolfsbane and silver, a strong sense of smell. He knew he was a werewolf, and like a fool be had been baited into following him while he was going to transform by Sirius Black of all people.

When Snape had gone down into the tunnel he expected to catch Lupin with his pants down, well, in the figurative sense. But he was met with barely dressed Gryffindor who looked absolutely mortified and yelled at him to get out of there. Before Severus could even get out a quick jab or even give the other teen a good glare, Lupin started transforming.

He’d never forget the gruesome pop of bones extending into an unnatural shape and the half-human howls of agony that were let out before he was face to face with a snarling werewolf. Snape had always thought he’d die young. Life wasn’t exactly on the up and up for him. If it wasn’t Potter and his gang going too far one day (like today) or his father beating him to death, then he’d get tied up with the Death Eater mess that his friends always preached to him about.

Snape may not have been a Gryffindor and on a bad day he could be a bit of a coward, but if he was going to get mauled to death by the inhuman form of one of his enemies, he’d do so with both eyes open and a stiff upper lip. Despite, his brain telling him it was a stupid idea to literally see his death coming, his eyes pried open to see sharp teeth already gnashing.

Forcing down a whimper he fixed his face into a glare. When he met Salazar Slytherin in the afterlife at least he could tell the founder he went down with a look that would make him proud. The beast let out heavy breaths in his face, the dog breath caressing his cheeks was not doing wonders for his dignified last moment. The iridescent eyes of Lupin found his own glassy ones and they stared into each other.

“Come on then you stupid dog! Get it over with!” He yelled. His death had been prolonged enough and if he was going to die, he wasn’t going to give the beast the satisfaction of catching him off guard and striking, “Eat me already!” Snape yelped as the cage of teeth came apart and Lupin’s jaw opened. His only regret would be never being able to hex his father into oblivion like he dreamt about every night he went to bed with bruises.

What he was expected was a mess of mangled teeth right into his shoulder. Or better yet his neck. At least then he’d be taken out brutally but swiftly and lose blood faster than he felt pain. Instead of all that, he got a wet nose trailing his neck, a soft whine, and a lick on his cheek.

“What the fuck?” Snape wasn’t one for language like that, he’d leave those kinds of remarks to the recently foul-mouthed Avery, but it was said in complete surprise as the snarling, teeth gnashing werewolf was now acting like a touched starved puppy. A furry head had made its way under his right hand as Lupin tried to get him to pet him. Not knowing what else to do, Snape let his fingers comb through the wiry fur.

“I know you can’t understand me, but aren’t you supposed to be a little more than an oversized lapdog?” Everyone knew what werewolves were supposed to be like. Running through the woods killing any wildlife they come across. Creatures only fueled by instinct with no reasoning. And yet here Lupin was trying to lick closer and closer to his mouth.

“No! Bad dog!” Snape scolded pushing his head away. He froze for a moment expected to be bitten or worse, but instead, the creature whined and put his head down in his lap. He moved back until he was propped on a wall, only for Lupin to throw more of himself onto him in an attempt to make him stay put. Looks like he was spending the night in the shack even if the damn thing fell asleep, his life couldn’t get any worse.

“Snape! Snape! Oh Merlin, Snape!” Nevermind.  

Bursting through the tunnel came a dishevelled James Potter, who he knew was most likely expecting to see the torn up remains of one Severus Snape. So imagine his surprise when instead he saw a very much alive and unharmed Snape sitting against the wall with a sleepy werewolf in his lap.

Snape looked up, his mask of indifference putting in overtime since he now had to deal with Potter after hours. The bespectacled teen stood before them with his mouth hanging open.

“Snape, you- but Moon- I mean Remus- but he’s- how did you-“

“Can you form a coherent thought before opening your mouth. You sound like you are in the middle of having a stroke.” At his jab, the Gryffindor closed his mouth and his lips went into a firm line.

“I don’t know how you calmed him down, but you need to get out of here,” James said walking towards them. As he came within touching range, Lupin’s eyes snapped open and he leapt up growling, stopping James in his tracks.

“Looks like you’re the one who needs to go, Potter,” As much as Snape was enjoying the half betrayed half-frightened look on his tormentors face, he did hope that the other teen wouldn’t try and come closer.

Potter then, like he could read Snape’s only good intention his way and sought to crush it, took a purposeful step forward and tried to go around the werewolf. Giving him no chances, Lupin’s growl deepened as his eye trained on James.

“Hey Moony, it’s me, James. Look Snape needs to go. Thanks for not killing him and all. After he’s back in the castle I’ll come back, okay? So just let me,” as James pulled his hand back fast enough for the momentum to pull him to the floor as the werewolf snapped at it. Seeing his challenger vulnerable, Lupin towered over James snarling and ready to strike.

“NO! Bad dog! Lupin heel! Sit! Stay! I don’t know just leave him alone!” Snape yelled standing up. James’ eyes widened for two reasons. The first one being the fact that Severus Snape was scolding a werewolf like he was training a puppy and the second being that said werewolf responded as such.

Crawling practically on his belly, James watched his lycanthrope friend place his muzzle on Snape’s foot. Snape sighed sitting back down but huffed as the werewolf rolled over and whined. He wiggled around with his belly exposed until he realised that the raven haired Slytherin was paying him no mind, instead he tried to get more comfortable against the wall.

“What do you want now? Good job not eating your friend mutt,” Snape said patting the beast’s muzzle. Letting out a happy yip, a sound James had never heard before from the werewolf, he tried to lick Snape’s face. As soon as the wet muscles made contact with a pale cheek, Snape blushed and pushed the head away like it was some uppity dog and not a werewolf.

“I told you not to do that! Go to bed already!” The teen chided wiping his face free from saliva while also glaring at Lupin as he got comfortably repositioned with his head resting in Snape’s lap.

“What did you do to him? Is it a potion? A charm? Does it only work on you?” James was firing questions off before he even thought them through. From what Sirius told him Snape had pretty much figured out that Remus was a werewolf on his own and this was meant to scare him even though it was stupid. But now he was here and seeing his once violent friend resting peacefully in the lap of their nemesis.

“Believe it or not I didn’t do anything. He’s just like this,” Snape said crossing his arms. He obviously wasn’t happy about the developments.

“Okay, but did you see him change? Was there something different? Do you have ancient runes or-”

“I saw him change, realised Black sent me here to be eaten by a werewolf, made peace with my death, and then didn’t die. Now I am going to sleep Potter so please do me a favour and either shut up or leave.” Nodding James scooted closer. Seeing no reaction from the lycan and only a raised eyebrow from Snape he moved again. When he was once more within range, Lupin growled causing him to scoot back an inch or two. Pleased with the teen’s distance, the growls subsided and so James stayed put.

By then, Snape had already leaned back and closed his eyes, his chest rising and falling evenly. The tension slowly dissipated from his face as he allowed himself to get some much needed sleep. His pale skin shone in the moonlight and for the first time, James noticed how long his eyelashes were.

Shaking his head, James still couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The first time they’d been with Lupin in the shack, after taking their animagus forms, of course, he tried to eat Peter, eat him, and kill Sirius. But now he turned all obedient lapdog with Snape. With Snivellus of all people! It didn’t sit right with him.

He was glad that Snape wasn’t torn to shreds or turned into a werewolf, but seeing him there, his stomach getting nuzzled by Lupin and his hands gripping onto the werewolf while he slept. James didn’t like that.

Deciding there was nothing he could do, the raven haired teen closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall asleep as well.

                                                                                                               XX

James’ eyes opened slowly as the first bits of sunlight hit his eyes. Not seeing the red and gold canopy he was used to, he quickly sobered up as his mind helpfully supplied him with memories of the night before.

He looked to where his friend was to see that Snape had taken his leave and all that was left Remus covered in his red trimmed cloak. Looks like Snape cared enough to make sure the Gryffindor was warm before he left. For once after a night of transformation, there were no wounds on him, proof that he spent the entire time cuddled up with the Slytherin.

“Hey Moony, wake up,” James said rolling him around. Those green eyes opened only to slits before Remus popped up, almost hitting James in the chin with his head.

“Where’s Severus?!” He yelled looking around for any evidence of him. In his shock, the stag animagus ghosted over the fact that he used Snape’s first name and instead chose to focus on his practically naked friend looking for the Slytherin.

“Do you remember last night?” James asked as he watched the other teen get up and start dressing.

“Of course, I remember! I always do. I didn’t attack him Prongs. It was- I don’t know- just different this time! Usually, it’s like I’m tied up in the back of a carriage or something and can only see what happens but this time I had my wits about me to some extent. No scars, I’m not exhausted,” Seeing as how the prefect was bouncing around while trying to make himself look presentable, he surely had a full night’s rest, “I may not have been in control it was so much better,” Remus replied with a growing smile on his face. His voice was absolutely giddy. He then blushed a bit and looked back at his friend, “Sorry about snapping at you by the way.”

“It’s whatever Moony. I’m more curious as to why you didn’t attack Snape,” James asked looking at him. He expected the obvious answer, “I don’t know” but instead Remus’ blush darkened.

“That doesn’t matter! What matters is that Snape calms the wolf and I need to tell off Sirius for that stupid stunt,” Remus said, his expression darkening. If Snape wasn’t whatever he was, he most definitely would have been killed or bitten, Remus would’ve executed, and Sirius would’ve been expelled. James opened his mouth to agree when a completely different thought hit him.

“Shit. Do you think Snape will say anything? The bastard might expose you! What if he goes straight to the Ministry!” James said pulling both of them out of their rage at their friend’s idiotic actions. Looking at each other they quickly went through the tunnel and left.

Running into the castle they were relieved to see the earliest risers out and about. At least they weren’t too early returning. That however made James wonder how Snape had managed to sneak back in. Climbing up the steps to their tower, they whispered the password to the Fat Lady and entered. Remus’ face had gone back to being angry as they made it to their room door. As the opened it, they found a pacing Sirius and a distressed looking Peter.

“Moony I’m-”

“Save it. I rather hear your apology when I don’t feel like hexing you,” Remus muttered as he grabbed a clean pair of clothes and his bath items, “I’m gonna go take a shower.” With that, he stormed off making sure that even the door felt his rage.

“Did you get Sniv- Snape out in time?” Sirius asked actually looking worried.

James turned to him, trying to look angry but not as pissed off as Remus had been. While he agreed fully with his friend’s anger, he didn’t want to pile up on Sirius, “What you did was so bloody stupid! You could’ve made a murderer out of Remus just to teach Snape a lesson!”

“So he’s fine? You got him out in time?” Sirius pressed on desperate to clear his conscious. James paused not knowing if he should share the developments with Sirius just yet. He was sure Remus wouldn’t care and it’s not like he needed Snape’s permission. But he already didn’t like what happened and he wasn’t keen on repeating it.

“I didn’t have to save Snape. Moony, the wolf...likes him?” James phrased it more as a question when he said it. It still didn’t make sense to him as to how and why the werewolf chose to like Snape instead of attacking him and if Remus knew why he didn’t share.

While the other two looked at him in astonishment, James began changing into a clean uniform.

“Likes him?” Peter echoed from his bed. For a moment James had forgotten he was there.

“Yeah he acted kind of like a regular dog when Snape was there,” he said adjusting his tie before tossing on his robe.

“I also tried to attack James,” Remus added from the doorway. His hair was still a little damp, as he claimed drying spells made his hair feel weird.

“You what?” Sirius added with his mouth hanging half open. Forgetting he was in trouble with the green eyed boy he pressed on, “Why would you be nice to Snivellus and attack one of your best mates?” Remus blinked before walking into the room and grabbing his things for class. Without so much as a look at Sirius, he left for breakfast.

“Looks like he’s still mad,” James said a little sympathetic as the curly haired teen deflated. Peter added his own sympathies as the trio got ready for class and made their way down to the Great Hall. As James entered he already spotted Remus sitting away from their usual spot with a few other prefects. It wasn’t the first time Remus had been mad at them and it probably wouldn’t be the last. He needed his time away and after a while, he’d be back with them.

Sitting down, James served himself, putting as much food as he cared to eat on his plate. Soon enough his eyes roamed over to the Slytherin table to see Snape sitting down between Rosier and Avery. Across from him was Regulus trying, and failing, to engage him in conversation. As they all talked around him, his nose was still in that book and a quill was in the hand that should have had food in it. No wonder the teen was so thin. Snape looked up and glared, however, it wasn’t at him. Following the line of sight, he saw Remus giving the Slytherin a small smile before looking away.

“Right James! James!” Sirius called before playfully punching him in the arm. He turned to his friend with an undignified huh, “What are you even looking at? Evans is on the other side of the table.”

James shook his head, “Nothing, just thinking about stuff.” Sirius nodded solemnly before returning to his own food and re-entering his argument with Frank Longbottom about Quidditch or something.

His eyes fell back on Snape as the other boy got up. He motioned for Regulus to sit back down as the younger teen got up to follow him. James got up as well, telling Peter to tell Sirius he went to get something from the room and he’d meet them in Potions. As he walked out he passed Remus and brushed a hand on his back to get his attention. Soon enough he was followed.

“What are you doing?” Remus asked once he caught up with him. They walked down the halls until they found Snape waiting outside the Potions classroom still writing in the old book he carried around.

“Snape!” Remus called. If he actually was a dog, his tail would definitely be wagging. He bounded forward stopping short when the Slytherin got into a defensive stance.

“What do you want?” Snape spit out glaring over the top of his book. James knew his wand was concealed behind it, ready to strike them if they drew their own.

“We just wanna make sure you won’t go squealing about what happened last night,” James said eyeing those pale hands for any sudden movements. Snape could be a tricky bastard when he wanted to.

“I have no interest in exposing your mutt,” Remus frowned a bit at the name calling, “Besides knowing Dumbledore he’d sooner try and shut me up than let me tell anyone about what he allows on school grounds. If that’s all you wanted then sod off,” he ground out, though it sounded more tired than anything.

“Well that’s good,” Remus said taking another step closer. James wanted to reach out and pull him back, but he squashed the weird feeling, “Anyway the-”

“Severus!” The three of them turned to see Regulus Black speed walking down the halls. His neutral expression was replaced with a sneer as he saw the two Gryffindors. His wand was out in a flash as his eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, they were being civil for once. As hard as it is to believe,” Snape said walking towards his housemate. Regulus’ eyes didn’t leave them and neither did his wand until Snape laid his pale hand on the other teen’s and pushed it down. Both Marauders tensed at the ease in which the raven touched the other teen, “Reg, stop.” The frosty expression melted for a second as Snape let a small smile spread across his lips. James huffed, greasy git never smiled at him, “Don’t you have History of Magic? That’s on the other side of the castle. You’ll be late if you don’t go.”

Regulus pouted like a scolded child, “But you told me not to follow you and then they,” he pointed an accusing finger out at the pair, “Followed you. I was concerned. And it’s not like Binns will notice if I’m there or not. He probably doesn’t even know he’s a ghost.” Snape rolled his eyes as Rosier and Avery walked down the hall along with a lot of other students heading to classes.

“Go to class Reg. I’ll be fine Rosier and Avery are here now,” with one last look, the fifth year nodded and walked off nodding to the two older Slytherins that he passed. Rosier and Avery soon flanked him and continued walking as they started their daily argument about who would get to mooch off of Snape’s potion prowess that day and who would be stuck actually trying with Wilkes.

“Well, that was weird. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look like that, not since the last time he spoke to Lily,” James said turning to Remus. The once happy kid, was now sporting the same pout that was on Black’s face, “Okay, what’s up with you?”

“James, can you keep a secret?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“I like Snape.”

“You what!” Both teens looked up to see a scandalised Sirius and a wide eyed Peter.

Chapter Text

Usually, during potions, The Marauders had two camps. One being James and Sirius who would goof around, show off, and tease Snape from the back of the room. The other was Remus and Peter who would actually do the work taking notes, though it would mainly be on Remus’ side as Peter wasn’t the best academically, in the front. Today, however, the whole room felt the atmosphere shift as James and Remus were together right behind Snape and his partner of the day Wilkes (the Slytherin had gotten tired of Avery and Rosier’s arguing and told the leftover to sit with him) and Sirius and Peter were in the back of the room in the typical goof around spot.

“Well, I see everyone has taken to switching up their partners again. No matter,” Slughorn said looking over the four changes, “Today we will be brewing the Draught of Living Death. It is a bit complex so you will all partner up and only need to use one cauldron. Whichever group has the best potion,” his eyes unconsciously went to Snape, “Will be excused from this week’s essay assignment on Everlasting Elixirs.” Avery and Rosier had the loudest groans of the class as almost everyone glared at Wilkes. He just got off the weekly assignment guaranteed.

James went to go get their ingredients as Remus readied their station. While there he found himself next to Snape who was next to Peter. The plump boy made it painfully obvious that he was staring right at the Slytherin. Sensing he was being looked at, Snape glared down at the shorter teen through his curtain of hair. It made him, on most occasions, look like something out of a horror book, but at times James found it endearing how he’d hide behind it like he was a shy first year.

He had to admit at that moment it didn’t even look greasy. If anything it was pretty dry looking.

“Do you need something, Pettigrew?” Snape snapped. Peter shook his head and looked away. James was sure he heard him squeak.

“He was just distracted by your big nose Snivellus,” James quipped back. All because their friend group was on the rocks right now didn’t mean he would let Peter treated like that. Snape looked up at him, his hair falling out of his face as he did so. Unlike years ago when they were scraggly little first years and every taunt made him flush, there was no blush adorning his cheeks as he was about to fire back his own quips.

“He should be more distracted by his piss poor grades, but then again Gryffindors aren’t renowned for their brains,” Snape replied smoothly. It was no secret that Peter wasn’t academically gifted and honestly was near the bottom of the school grade wise. Before James could think of another remark, the Slytherin turned on his heel and walked back to his seat.

“Don’t know what you see in that piece of work,” James hissed as he took his place next to Remus. This whole time, he thought that his friend chose that station because he wanted to be close to the board and pay attention but now he could see that Remus was in the perfect position to sneak glances at Snape’s face. From his place behind Snape, James could see Wilkes face pretty well, so he knew Remus could do the same.

“Maybe if you didn’t spend the last five years tormenting him you’d know what I know,” Remus muttered as he began to add in the infusion of wormwood until their potion began to change colour.

“You make it sound like you guys were actually friends or something,” he scoffed as he added a few grams of powdered asphodel root. The potion turned a very light pink. They both looked at each other and then the instructions. Pink was pink, right? Taking a peek at Snape’s cauldron James saw that his potion was already lilac. It hadn’t even been an hour and he was almost done.  

Realising he wasn’t answered, the animagus looked at his friend to see the tips of his ears were pink while his face remained impassive, “Fourth year, Hogsmeade weekend when the full moon was on Thursday and I stayed to recoup. Snape had a bad cold so we ended up staying next to each other for most of the weekend. He wasn’t that much of a prat, especially after kicking my arse in chess a few times. He ended up being pretty civil with me after that, but only when you all weren’t around. Well until last year,” Remus’ whispered sadly. Their potion had started to smell like sulphur at that point.

“How long have you, you know,” James didn’t want to say the actual words, saying those words would make it more real than it already was. While he was okay with Remus liking blokes, there was something...off about him liking Snape. Sure they were both smart and actually liked to read and do homework, but they didn’t go together, James thought anyway. But if his friend liked him he could accept it, or at least tolerate it.

“First time on the train, I thought he was pretty,” they both blushed at the word choice. James had to admit he wasn’t wrong. Big eyes, pouty lips, and long hair that framed a soft, roundish face. James thought they could’ve been friends until he had to open his big mouth and said he wanted to be in Slytherin, “From there I thought it was just infatuation until that weekend. Then I’d go study with him sometimes and we’d even talk about stuff. Never anything past the surface, he didn’t trust me enough yet. Then the Lake happened and he hit me with a stinging hex the next time I approached him,” Remus’ face fell.

“Oh my, it smells a bit putrid in here,” Slughorn coughed as he opened the small cruddy window. A disadvantage of being in the dungeons. James looked around to see that the only potion that looked somewhat normal was Lily and Mary’s. And even then it was only because it wasn’t in danger of bubbling over.

“Well done Mr.Snape. Perfect as always,” And Snape’s. Of course, Snape’s was perfect. The clear liquid with matching vapour was poured into a few vials by Slughorn as he happily told the Slytherin pair that they were excused from the essay. Wilkes grinned widely as he turned to gloat at Avery and Rosier. The pair had green sparks coming from their cauldron.

Wilkes laughed at their predicament before nudging his partner and causing him to look back. Snape’s eyes widened almost comically at the state the rest of the class was in, “Rosier,” he called getting his housemate’s attention. The rest of the class paused as well. The only time Snape spoke up in Potions was to either retort at James and Sirius or give some life saving advice. The last time he had spoken up was to commanded Mary MacDonald to put more eye of newt in her potion unless she wanted it to catch fire and therefore had saved three other stations, “Please put moonstone in your potion,” with that he turned back around and started cleaning up.

“Why, that’s not one of the ingredients?” The Slytherin asked even though he already pushed his partner towards the ingredients cupboard to get some.

“So it doesn’t blow up in your face. After that lower the heat so it solidifies. It’s too far gone to be salvaged,” at his words everyone else who had green sparks began to do the same.

“And what about us Sevvy, what do you suppose we do?” James asked in a sickeningly sweet tone. He heard Snape growl at the unapproved nickname before he whipped around. His expression soon went from angry to passive as his eyes flickered to their cauldron.

“You’re going to kill someone with a potion like that,” he pointed out. Their potion wasn’t that bad James thought. Sure, it wasn’t the clear liquid that Snape produced but there was nothing wrong with a murky potion.

“W-What’s wrong with it?” Remus’ stuttered out. James cringed at his friend’s nervousness. It was Snape. Unless he was brandishing his wand at you there was no reason to be nervous around him. He could even hear a scoff from Sirius but paid it no mind. Snape grabbed their ladle from his hand without even thinking about it and began stirring it before throwing in more asphodel. The potion then cleared up a little but not as nice as his own was.

“Not enough stirring, ingredients not added in their correct proportions. This would probably stop someone’s heart if they drank it as is, so if you were trying to create a poison then good job,” Snape supplied snidely. It was like he had a potions encyclopedia in his head.

“Oh. Then how many times did you stir it?” Remus asked again perking up a bit at the fact that the object of his affection was talking to him in a way that didn’t include the usual insults.

Before he could get an answer, Wilkes tugged on Snape’s sleeve giving a dirty look to the two Gryffindors. The raven turned to his housemate and sighed when he was presented with an unfinished arithmancy sheet and five galleons. Thin pale fingers pocketed them anyway before grabbing the quill and filling it in.

Remus watched as Snape made quick work of the sheet and received a smile and a clap on the shoulder from Wilkes in return. Like he usually did, Snape brought out the same old potions textbook, opened it, and began writing. Remus knew he must have been inventing a new spell or tweaking a potion seeing as Snape bit his bottom lip every few seconds allowing red marks to grow and fade from the pressure of his teeth on the pink flesh.

He always wondered if they were soft despite the rough treatment Snape gave them. He knew his hair could be, if the greasy git would just listen to him and invest in some shampoo or make a potion or something, it would be for sure. He wanted to gag the day he learned the Slytherin washed his hair with the same soap he used to clean his body. But his lecture about hair care went unlistened to as Snape assured him he was perfectly fine with being plain and having his hair the way it was. The once dry hair was now oily and no doubt would get worse as the day progressed. Potions always made it worse.

“I know you like him and all but this is starting to be weird. How did Peter never notice you doing this?” James muttered failing to pull the prefect from his staring.

“He always had homework to finish,” Remus replied easily without moving his eyes. Snape bit his lip once more, but this time he allowed the plump flesh to slip out slowly from between his teeth. For someone who took an odd sense of pride in being “plain”, Snape was surprisingly provocative, even in his worst moments.

Remus was ashamed to admit the incident at the Lake gave him a bit of a hard on. He wasn’t a sadist by any means but seeing those long pale legs that only appeared in his dreams. Seeing how the wet boxers clung to his form, outlining his assets like the cling wrap his mom used to save food. He nearly cried from the shame when he wanked to the image the day Snape ended whatever truce they had.

He mentally winced at that memory. He knew it was best to give Snape space, he was utterly humiliated and lost his best friend. But after a week of not seeing the pale teen, he felt the withdrawal. He longed for the snappy repartee that Snape could give him. He lived for the small smug smiles Snape had when he finally realised the “compliment” he was paid was an insult and the silly eye roll he got when he figured that a few of them were genuine.

Using up all that Gryffindor courage that never seemed to be around when James and Sirius were picking on him, he went to Snape’s spot in the back of the library, right next to the Divination books no one seemed to touch. When he couldn’t find him he knew the boy would be in the Astronomy Tower trying to brew in secret. Being foolishly optimistic, the Gryffindor way, he expected to at least have the chance to apologize but before he could even open his mouth he was hit with a stinging hex to the chest. He still didn’t know if it was sloppy aim or a small kindness that it wasn’t to his face.

If only he had the backbone to stand up to his friends. To tell them that what they did was idiotic and needed to stop. To tell them how he truly felt and confess to Severus. He could have saved Snape from humiliation, saved his friendship with Lily. He could have been his hero.

Remus shook his head. It wasn’t time for his weird fantasies where he stood up to his friends, saved Snape from making his mistake, and then got to take him back to his room and pull off his soaking wet-

A loud band ripped him out of his thoughts as he jumped back and almost out of his seat. Like the whipped sod he was his eyes immediately flew to see if the Slytherin that occupied his thoughts was okay. Snape was turned around looking at the back of the room. He simply shook his head before pulling a snickering Wilkes back to look at the charms essay that he was now being paid to revise.

“Mr. Black! Mr. Pettigrew! What the devil did you two do?” Eyes widening, the lycan looked back to see grey soot covering both Sirius and Peter. While the taller of the two rolled his eyes as he shook the powder form his head, Peter already started to babble.

“It had green sparks so we added moonstone like Snape said! But it blew up!” he sounded halfway to tears and judging by Sirius rubbing his eyes, he’d at least have an excuse if he cried.

Slughorn sighed before waving his wand and cleaning them up, “It would do you well to listen to all of Mr.Snape’s instructions next time. Five points from Gryffindor but I think the eye stinging should be punishment enough so no detention. Do clean up your station.” Sirius glared at the professor and then at Avery and Rosier whom were still laughing.

Before he could set those eyes on him, Remus turned around and started cleaning is own station, the first half of double potions would be over soon anyway. Maybe he could try chatting with Snape during the break, he seemed more susceptible to conversation. The near deafening bong of the Hogwarts’ bell alerted them that it was finally time for their ten minute break.

“Sna-”

“Sev!” Remus bristled at the voice behind him.

“Looks like your husband is here,” Wilkes sniggered to the sighing raven. The sixth year closed his book and put it in his cloak like he usually did before standing up. Even though he was very aware that his stomach would burn with jealousy, the lycan turned around like most of the class had to see Regulus Black at the door of their classroom.

Remus didn’t like him for what he wanted to believe were many reasons but really only boiled down to jealousy. Whereas he’d be frozen in fear after barging into a class of older students and having everyone including the professor looking at him like he’d grown another head, Black looked calm and collected. Suave even. His eyes weren’t fluttering about trying to avoid eye contact with anyone but instead focused right on Snape.

“Why are you here?” Sirius glowered.

The (perfect, stupidly perfect, who even had teeth like that) smile fell from Regulus’ (stupid) face as he formed a glare to match his older brother’s, “That doesn’t concern you. Fuck off,” he hissed. In recent weeks things had become much worse between the two, especially after Sirius’ disownment.

“Language,” Snape muttered passing the teen and walking out of the room.

“Don’t be upsetting the wife now Black. We still need him to cook dinner tonight,” Rosier cooed mockingly causing the younger Black to roll his eyes. A whistle from Avery made him huff and leave the room as well.

“You’re going to snap your quill in half if you don’t calm down,” James supplied from beside him, “Wanna help me with this transfiguration essay to get your mind off of it?” Remus rolled his eyes.

“Sev, don’t mind their comments! You’re not my wife or anything. I mean you’re a man!” Regulus said trying to smooth it all over. Snape gave no kind of response as he stopped walking and turned to his housemate.

“What do you need Regulus? I was busy,” he crossed his arms feeling his book dig into his sternum as he did so. He could feel the breakthrough coming for the formula he had been working on. But he was still missing some information about lycanthropy. Maybe if he asked Lupin- No. He couldn’t know what he was up to.

He didn’t really care for Lupin per se or his affliction but he always wanted to be a great potions master and if he could cure, or at least ease, lycanthropy he could get his name in the books for sure. He already knew the main component needed to be Wolfsbane but he was still shaky on the rest of the ingredients. Not to mention if he was going to try this, he needed a good supply of ingredients. He wasn’t keen on digging into his savings since he was dead set on moving out right after he graduated but if he created the potion he could probably get funding for an apprenticeship anyway.

“You can afford to not be nose deep in a potions book for a few minutes, at least for your favourite junior right?” Regulus said with a smirk. Snape knew, it wasn’t like it was a huge secret, that the fifth year harboured affections for him. Even if the boy didn’t make it obvious himself (which he did), his housemates surly did as their usually jokes about Regulus’ clinginess changed last year from Snape being his mummy to being his wife.

To save them both from having to confront that mess, Snape played the romantically dense fool. As long as he pretended to not get the deeper meaning and the wide eyed kid before him was too scared to confess, then they’d be fine.

It wasn’t like there was anything wrong with Regulus, anything wrong with him that was his fault anyway. His first flaw was his likeness to his brother. As much as Snape tried he couldn’t look at the younger without seeing his tormentor’s face as well. The second reason would have to be that he still saw him as a snot nosed firstie instead of the growing teen.

When Regulus had first come to Hogwarts he looked up to, like most did, their Headboy, Lucius Malfoy. Lucius’ words carried weight and he chose often to praise Snape for his smarts despite him only being a second year. While most (his roommates) took that as an opportunity to mooch off his brain in exchange for extending their Slytherin fraternity (and parents money) his way, Regulus idolised him. It soon became commonplace to see him with the first year trailing after him.

He saw it as a minor annoyance, but nevertheless, he allowed the kid to be clingy. His only brother was in their rival house and his cousin, Narcissa, was a bit distant with him due to being busy with her OWLs and all her free time being taken up by Lucius. He never had anyone but Lily and he knew how hard it was to be alone. So he allowed it.

He wasn’t expecting for those shining eyes to go from watching his hands while he worked to taking peaks at his backside. But after hearing Mulciber get on Black’s case for being “too bloody obvious and frankly creepy” he knew the feelings of adoration had changed to romantic affection.

“I wanted to see you. We didn’t finish our conversation from earlier,” Snape raised an eyebrow, “The one at breakfast. Were you even listening to me?” Regulus pouted, his cheeks puffed out round.

“I told you I was busy. Do remind me of what you were discussing.”

“Where you were last night. I saw you sneak out and I thought you were going to work on your potions in the Astronomy Tower again. I went to bring you a blanket cause last time you fell asleep there and caught a cold but you weren’t there. Where’d you go?” He stepped more into Snape’s personal bubble, something that for some reason he was allowed to do.

“Doesn’t matter,” he replied dryly, “I don’t need a keeper, Black.” He knew the younger hated being called his last name by him but he needed to establish some distance.

Looking a little crestfallen, Regulus’ face quickly reset with his lips forming a firm line as his eyes brimmed with determination, “No. You don’t get to shove me off like that. I’m not like Rosier or Avery. I actually care about you, you know. I don’t like you hiding stuff from me.” A warm hand was placed on his arm.

Snape took a step back making it fall away, “Nothing happened. Stop worrying for nothing. Now get to class or you’ll be late,” with that he turned on his heel and started walking back to class. From behind him, he heard the fifth year tell him that their conversation wasn’t over, but knowing Regulus, he’d give up if given the silent treatment.

Before he walked into the room his gut told him to wait. There was no doubt in his mind that as soon as he walked in Black would attempt something for speaking to his little brother. He probably didn’t even care that he almost got someone killed last night. Getting his wand out he hid it in his sleeve, ready to deflect whatever stupid hex, jinx, or curse was headed his way.

As he walked in it was as time slowed, out of the corner of his eye he saw Black stand, his arm moving. He thought his motion would be covered by the portly teen beside him and to give him some credit it was. But after years of torment, Snape was forced to be more vigilant.

His wand slid into his hand and he pointed it in Pettigrew’s direction and whispered the spell for the hover charm. As Black rose to full height, Peter’s body rose up as well and caught the hex. Not even caring to look back at the mess, the Slytherin waltz back to his seat and sat down. He heard a ‘ribbit’ and hoped for the worst.

“Mr.Black! 30 points from Gryffindor for that stunt! Take Mr.Pettigrew to the infirmary this instant so he can get his head returned to normal.” So it had been that dumb frog-face hex. Rolling his eyes at the childishness, he got out his notebook and prepared to take more notes. Merlin knows he needed to now that Avery and Rosier would demand help on their essays.

“Hey, Snape,” choosing to ignore the voice of the prefect behind him, he looked down and continued to do his work, writing down Slughorn’s notes as well as make his own in the margins. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why the lycan wanted his attention still. He agreed not to share his dark secret and not to peep a word to Dumbledore about Black’s actions. He would think they’d leave him for at least a week just to make sure he wouldn’t squeal.

Chapter Text

There were not many silent moments between the Marauders. Ever since the day they met on the train, there had always been jokes, laughs, and banter. Even in their sleep, they managed to make noise with their tossing and turning from never really expelling all their daily energy. But now someone could drop a quill in their room and the sound of the feather touching the floor would be the loudest thing.

Remus sat next to James on his bed while Sirius sat next to Peter on his. The short teen’s head had returned to normal but a few greenish-yellow warts still remained. They had finished their lunch extremely early all knowing that they had to talk out the rising problems in their friendship before James and Sirius had to head out to Quidditch practice. Last time they had a row, the captain locked them in the equipment shed until they talked it out due to their lack of cooperation on the pitch.

“Guess I’ll start since we’re all here twiddling our thumbs,” Sirius made no reservations in showing his foul mood. Remus thought he had no right to really be in one but here they were, “I’m sorry for sending Snape down there. I didn’t think before acting and could’ve fucked up all of our lives.”

“I forgive you,” the prefect said. He was still mad. It’s not every day one of your best friends sets you up to be a murderer, but he knew acting mad wasn’t going to fix anything between them. Silence overtook the room again as no one knew how to approach the big nosed elephant in the room. The way Sirius had looked at him when he heard his secret made him feel so small. It was like the time he divulged to a childhood playmate that he was a werewolf, just to watch the disgust spread on their face.

Peter had looked scared. Like Remus asked him to spend the full moon out of his animagus form. He figured that had less to do with his crush on Snape and a lot more to do with the impending fallout of their friend group due to the gravity of the situation. Peter wasn’t always the most fun to be around and if they all stopped hanging out and reminding each other to include him, he was probably scared none of them would choose to be by his side anymore. That wasn’t true of course, they would never abandon him like that, Peter was a dear friend.

“So,” James started. Remus mentally sighed, leave it up to Prongs to make it as awkward as possible, “Moony, is there something you’d like to say,” he said leaning forward as to lead him into speaking.

“I like Severus,” he declared. He didn’t mean to use the Slytherin’s first name considering the teen himself bristled when he did. But he didn’t think of that, “I don’t care if you don’t like it nor accept it. Those are my feelings.” He knew none of them had a problem with him liking blokes. When they jokingly asked if he had any other secrets third year after finding out about his monthly issue, he had come out to them. They’d all taken it in stride with Sirius even saying he was bi-curious himself.

“But of all people, Snape? Fucking Snivellus? When did that even happen? We’ve been picking on him since day one?” Sirius was standing now as he yelled. He was always bad at containing his emotions, especially when upset. Remus understood, he really did, but that didn’t make him any less pissed off.

“No, you picked on him! I never raised a word or wand against him!”

“Well, you never stopped us!”

“How was I supposed to! If you hadn’t noticed I didn’t have any friends! I am a werewolf Sirius, the last thing I wanted to do was lose the only people who wanted to be my friends despite my illness. So I never said anything, it wasn’t like it went beyond stupid hexes and some name calling but then-” he could feel himself start choking up. He hated fighting with his friends and even more exposing his insecurities. He was a prefect for crying out loud but was too much of a coward to stop his friends from tormenting the person he liked.

“Then the lake happened,” Sirius finished. The anger had faded from his face as he watched his friend wipe away the tears collecting in his eyes, “I mean it wasn’t like you guys had anything going on right?”

“We had a truce of sorts. He tolerated me when you guys weren’t around. Don’t you remember all those times I needed to study in the library alone for a few hours during fourth and fifth year,” he said as he slowed his breathing.

“So what you’re saying is we fucked up your love life? Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” Sirius groaned before flopping back onto the bed. Remus wasn’t sure if it was frustration at his crush or at himself but Sirius looked like he was tearing himself apart.

“How could I? We all just met on the train and he declared himself a future Slytherin. I didn’t know what to do other than stand on the side,” at his words Sirius’ eyes widened. Those grey eyes looked into him until he couldn’t take it. He looked to Peter instead to see him looking at the floor and biting his lip.

“The tra- since first year? You liked Snape since first year and never said a word? Merlin Remus,” the prefect swallowed. His friend rarely used their real names these days, “So is it too late?”

“What?” James said looking at him.

“Is it too late. For Snape to forgive him.”

“Wait. So you’re just going to accept it? Like that?” The lycan asked as he put his hands on his hips. As much as Sirius liked to believe he was nothing like his family he was just as attached to his prejudices and opinions and was not a fan of changing them.

“You already said I didn’t have a choice but to right? And you’re my friend, even if I think your crush is terribly misguided, I want you to be happy. So is it too late?” Sirius said with a small smile. For how much of a troublesome prat the Gryffindor could be he was always nice to him, the bond of the outcast as he called it.

“I don’t know. I want him to spend the next full moon with me but I don’t know how to ask,” he said sighing. He knew he had to take it slow, Snape probably was only being civil because they were and he’d soon ignore him again or worse.

“Moony?” Peter finally spoke up and called all their attention to him, “Do you think Snape calms the wolf because you like him? Like he’s,” Peter’s face slowly grew more red which clashed violently with the warts that remained on his face, “like he’s a potential mate or something.”

“That doesn't make any sense. We’re his best mates and he’d probably attack us if we weren’t animagi,” James said, his face contorting in confusion.

“Not that kind of mate Prongs,” Sirius said shaking his head like a parent whose kid thought five came after three, “Moony doesn’t attack us because we’re pack now. But what Wormtail means that Sniv- Snape calms the wolf because Moony wants to shag him.”

“I do not want to shag Snape!” He did, he really did. He had many, many dreams about it, especially leading up to the full moon but he refused to tell any of that to his friends.

“Oh come off it mate. You’re a healthy sixteen year old, I’d be more concerned if you didn’t want to do him,” the brunet rolled his eyes as Remus flushed.

“Wait so in your wolf form you want to-”

“ENOUGH!” He yelled silencing them, “We are not discussing my nonexistent sex life with Severus.”

“Merlin’s balls you already calling him by his first name. You’re whipped aren’t ya,” Sirius teased. It was like he wasn’t even objected to the idea anymore, “So, Operation Seduce the Snake is a go?”

“Pardon?” Remus yelled. His mouth fell open as Sirius’ smirk grew wider, “I already hate this idea.”

“You haven’t even heard it yet Moony it could be good. Name’s catchy too, right Wormtail?” Peter nodded at James’ words causing the lycan to groan before getting comfortable on the mattress.

“Okay, so in short, Snape hates us. Probably me the most, then Prongs, then Wormtail, then you. So, in order for him to forgive you, we’re gonna be nice to him,” Sirius exclaimed like it was the easiest thing in the world, “If Prongs and I are nice to him then he’ll think you made us and he’ll be your friend again. Then you work that bookworm magic on him and before you know it you’ll have your own cuddly little boyfriend.”

“That sounds like a horrible plan. Knowing Severus he’ll think it’s a trap. Especially if you and James start being nice out of nowhere. I don’t want to scare him.”

“Snape may be a stubborn little git, but no one is immune to Gryffindor charm,” James said with a wink. Remus knew somehow he was going to regret this.

“So, tomorrow we begin. This may be the hardest thing we’ve ever had to pull off,” Sirius said, “But we wouldn’t be the bloody Marauders if we didn’t!”

“Okay, talk.” Sirius looked up from his broom after the last curve to put a B in it. He finally learnt the right spell to engrave it and wasn’t taking chances on messing up his Nimbus 1500. He saw James’ inquisitive stare and cocked his head to the side. He wasn’t really sure what his friend meant.

“Um, I think we’re gonna win the cup this year?” He didn’t really know what to say so he said the first thing he thought of.

“No. I mean why are you okay with Moony liking Snape all of a sudden? Just this morning you tried to hex him and when you overheard it you looked ready to strangle someone. Why the sudden change of heart?” James asked as they stopped walking. Sirius would have rubbed his neck, but he still have wood shavings and dirt from practice (why they had to do ground drills in a flying sport he’d never know).

“‘Cause he’s my friend,” James raised one eyebrow, “Look, one time Moony told me that he was afraid no one would ever love him. Not like friends, but you know romantically. When he was a kid he had some friend that he had a kiddy crush on and he ended up letting it slip to them what he was and they abandoned him. He never had friends from then until he came here and met us let alone a boyfriend. Snape already knows and isn’t putt off by it and Remus likes him so you know. This is his chance to have someone. I can’t let my dislike of Snape ruin that. You see how happy he is when he talks about him. He’d kiss a hippogriff on the beak if it meant getting to be near him again.”

James smiled warmly at him before clapping him on the shoulder, “No joke, that was probably the most heartfelt thing I’ve ever heard. You can be such a sap when you want to,” he shrugged the chaser off playfully as they continued walking back to the castle. As the walked up the familiar path back to the castle, they stopped as the bat like form of Severus Snape caught their eyes.

“So, wanna start the plan now?” Sirius asked as his eyes landed on the same form. Snape had a basket in his hand, no doubt sneaking off to the Forbidden Forest to get more ingredients for whatever potion he wanted to make.

“We can’t just go up to him. He’ll be on guard. Look at him he’s already clocked us,” James noted. The slow measured gait that Snape usually walked with was noticeably faster as he hurried away from them, “Maybe we should let Moony make the first move on him. It’d probably-”

Before the brunet could finish the Black family outcast (well one of them anyway) thrust his broom into his friend’s arms and went bounding after the Slytherin.

Sirius had to admit it, despite being made of bones and having the complexion of an anaemic vampire, Snape could run. All those years he spent running from them could probably get him a place on one of those muggle track teams. Looking around, the animagus frowned. He had no idea where he was. For all their fun in the forest on full moons, he usually let his nose lead him around and not his eyes. Without his heightened olfactory senses, everything looked pretty identical.

“What do you want Black?” he heard the familiar monotone of Snape but couldn’t see him. Figures he could make his way around the forest with ease considering the number of times he came in to get some weird plant.

“Well a way back to the castle for one, but primarily to talk to you,” he finished with his trademark grin. The same one that made girls want him and guys want to be him. No one could see it and not be overcome with the desire to talk to him.

“Piss off.”

Except for Snape.

“I can always just tell-” He stopped himself from talking. His goal was to get Snape to like him, threatening to tattle on him to a professor made him like some firstie wasn’t gonna work, “Look, I’ll even put my wand on the ground, no tricks. You can trust me,” He heard a scoff as he carefully placed his wand on the ground. He took a few steps back from it and smiled as Snape came out from behind a tree with his wand pointed at him and a basket in his arm. He looked like the girl from the muggle story about the wolf. Little Red Robe or something.

“What do you want Black?” Snape asked, onyx eyes not moving from his form.

“I already told you, I wanna talk.” The raised eyebrow told  him to elaborate, “Just, you know, be civil. I can help you get your ingredients too.”

“Civil?” The Slytherin scoffed, “When have you ever been civil? You tried to get me killed last night!”

“In my defence,” he started looking away in guilt, “I don’t really have one. I thought it’d be funny to give you a scare until I realised that Moony could hurt you. He just hadn’t tried to hurt us in years and I kinda just forgot he was dangerous. It was dumb. I’m sorry,” Sirius never thought he’d see that day he apologised to Snape of all people but the only reason he wasn’t expelled, Moony wasn’t en-route to execution, and Snape still alive was because of Moony’s big crush.

He got lucky.

Really lucky.

“You’re only saying that because you think I’ll squeal to Dumbledore. I already told Potter and Lupin that I didn’t care enough to so you can take your apology and go.” While he did understand why the future potion master wasn’t all that eager to accept the apology of his bully of about five years who just that morning tried to hex him, he still didn’t like that his sincerity was automatically denied.

“I’d be happy to leave, but I’m kinda lost. Not everyone runs around in here as much as you do,” he says looking around. He could have just transformed into Padfoot and smelled his way out but Snape didn’t need to know he could do that yet and he wasn’t going to reveal what could be a future advantage.

“Suffer,” Snape said before backing up to the trees again.

“You can hold my wand the whole time. No funny business. You know the way around here and I really rather not wander aimlessly until they send a rescue party.” If Snape denied him again then he’d transform and find his own way out. He hoped that wouldn’t be the case though.

Snape’s eyes narrowed as lines formed on his forehead in contemplation. He slowly walked forward again and picked up the wand on the ground, “Don’t lollygag, don’t provoke wildlife, and don’t eat anything you think is edible,” Snape said as he turned and walked into the woods. Sirius smiled and jogged up until he was right next to him.

“So what are we looking-”

“I said you could come, not that you can talk. I don’t want to hear your mindless chatter while I work,” Snape said increasing his stride. Again the Gryffindor was left wondering just what his friend saw in the asshole that was Severus Snape.

Walking deeper into the woods, Sirius began to look around. Sure they had Quidditch until late afternoon but sunset shouldn’t have been that soon. Looking straight up he noticed that it was not the sun that went down, but the thickening foliage that blocked out more and more light.

Hearing a noise, he stopped. There were many noises in the Forbidden Forest, but this one wasn’t like the small rustles and occasional squeaks and growls they heard. It was the sound of a horse. Well, the hooves of a horse. The familiar clop was drawing closer to them.

“Keep your mouth shut if you want to live,” Snape hissed to him. Before he could disregard the Slytherin’s words and speak anyway he saw why he said them.

“And who might this be Severus?” A centaur. He knew there was a herd of them in the forest but he never thought he’d actually see one. From what he knew they hated wizards and how they “looked down” on anything not human enough with their classification system. From what he remembered from Care of Magical Creatures, centaurs chose to identify as beast because they didn’t want the same classification as vampires.

“A nuisance. He followed me and got lost. We were deep enough in that he may have stumbled upon someone else before he made it back to the castle so I brought him with me. I mean no disrespect for our space Ronan,” Sirius baulked at how Snape bowed his head.

The git barely respected Dumbledore but here he was showing submission to some centaur. Before he could say anything a hand went to the back of his head and pushed it down so he bowed as well.

“I trust that he will not be back again. The elders do not take kindly to untrusted wizards in the forest. Only you and the half-giant are welcome here, and even then that oaf is on thin ice. Firenze will be happy to see you, he’s tending to the,” the centaurs green eyes landed on Sirius for a moment, “delicate herb you asked about. He also may have something else for you,” with a small smile and a familiar twinkle in his eye, the male galloped away.

“You’re friends with the centaurs? I thought pureblood supremacists don’t talk to halflings and beast,” Sirius knew he was supposed to be nice but he was too astounded to care.

“Please stop speaking like you know anything about me. How can I even be a pureblood supremacist if I’m a halfblood who grew up in the muggle world,” Snape’s words were chillier than the November air.

“You’re friends with Avery and Wilkes and Malfoy and Mulciber and that psychopath Rosier. Everyone knows the wanna follow that Voldemort guy like Bellatrix did!”

“I’m also friends with your brother. And who else would I be friends with Black if not my own house? I’m already a halfblood amongst purebloods, I don’t need to be a chicken in a pit of snakes as well,” he responded.

“So you’re not gonna be a Death Feeder?”

“It’s Death Eater and what I do with my life is none of your business Black so shut up,” there wasn’t much bite to the command as they came up to a plot of land that had been tilled. Rows of herbs that Sirius was sure he was supposed to recognise from his potions class were planted.

Snape then did something Sirius had only seen a few times before, he smiled. He looked out at the plants and smiled. It wasn’t a smirk like when they got in trouble for a prank or that fake smile he put on when jokingly told to cheer up by Rosier. It was a real smile. One so soft he felt like even him breathing too hard would make it fall from the Slytherin’s face.

“Severus, my friend,” a younger centaur trotted up to them. Unlike the older one from before he barely paid attention to Sirius as he walked a circle around Snape.

“Hello Firenze,” Snape’s smile grew wider, “How is your divination going? I’m guessing it has something to do with the surprise waiting for me?”

The centaur huffed playfully, “There you go again ruining my surprises. Can you never play along and let me actually surprise you for once. But yes I have something pertaining to that,” finally Firenze’s eyes ghost over Sirius. Unlike the other centaur, the icy blue eyes held some curiosity along with the typical glare of mistrust. The blond then looked at Snape for an explanation.

“He followed me in here and can’t get back to the castle on his own. You’ll never be seeing him again unless he’s dumb enough to come back in here,” Snape supplied as he crouched down and ran his fingers across the leaf of a plant.

Sirius’ mouth twisted into an awkward smile as he was further scrutinised by the centaur. Sirius was not easily intimidated as he was a tall person of high social standing. The only person that had large gains on him was Hagrid but the half-giant was as scary as a tap dancing ferret.

But Firenze was big. His equine half was already substantial with well formed muscles under his blond fur. His human torso was the same, as Sirius did not miss the abs and broad shoulders on him. He could probably pick him up and throw him.

“He does not wear your colours, Severus. He’s not a friend, is he?”

“As I said, he followed me here,” Sirius looked up as he noticed that Snape was much further away than he thought he was. The centaur huffed again before posturing and turning to go deeper into the garden.

Not knowing what to do, Sirius stood there watching. Snape still smiled and he had to admit when watching the Slytherin not be a git, he was kinda cute. There was something awe inspiring about how he became a different person. It was so new and intimate. Like he was getting closer to the Slytherin’s soul.

The Gryffindor’s eyes narrowed as he watched the Firenze hand a small crystal with a blue glow to Snape. With one last word, they parted ways.

“What did he give you?” Sirius asked trying to get closer to the basket, “the blue glowing rock,” he added before Snape could deny it.

“None is your business. It is for me and me alone. Now pay attention,” Snape stopped short and veered around to look at him, “You need to be more careful than you ever have in your life. Do you understand me? If you fuck this up for me I will hex you into insanity if they don’t kill you first,” Sirius blinked in surprise.

“I didn’t do anything to your centaur friends! How did you even become friends with them anyway? You-”

“I’m not talking about that. And if you come back here to find the centaurs later I will not negotiate with them for your return. Not even Dumbledore will be able to help you. Anyway just don’t do anything stupid, which I know will be hard for you, but try,” Snape’s words were ice. The teen who picked herbs and talked to centaurs was gone and ruddy mean Snape was back. Though Sirius wanted to say something equally as griping back he couldn’t formulate the words in time as Snape turned to leave.

“Hey wait up!” Sirius ran until he caught up with him. The basket on his arm was now free of the glowing blue crystal. It was probably in his robes. As the walked in the forest the sun began to set leading to Snape taking out his wand and transfiguring a stick into a torch.

“Make yourself useful,” he said handing it off to Sirius. It was creepier being in the forest at night and Sirius knew by now that James was getting worried about him. It was almost dinner time.

They came to a clearing, one that Sirius stopped at the edge of before entering. It was obviously enchanted as, despite the rest of the forest being illuminated by moonlight, it glowed like the midday sun was overhead. The ground went form the regular leaves and dirt to a large patch of healthy green grass despite it being November. Before he could ask Snape what was going on he saw that the Slytherin had put down his basket and taken off his robe. He brought out his wand and tapped a small figure in his hand making it grow. In his hand now was another basket full of apples and carrots.

Slowly, Snape walked into the centre of the clearing and waited. Sirius wanted to follow him or even yell but before he could do anything, it wasn’t like he was going to think about his actions and weigh them against each other before randomly choosing one or both, he saw it. Everyone knew of them, has seen drawings and heard descriptions. Even muggleborns and muggles knew of them without knowing the existence of magic.

Snape was being approached by a unicorn.

Sirius’s breath hitched as the white coated equine looked at him. It’s glittering white mane splayed over its back. It took a few thundering steps towards the Gryffindor making him stumble back and fall to the ground. From his place on the forest floor, the looming beast was massive with its golden hooves ready to end the perceived threat. He must have been the stallion of the herd.

Snape made a soft clicking sound, getting the stallion’s attention before holding out a carrot to him. With a flare of the nostrils, the stallion trotted back to Snape and accepted the offering. Snape’s hand then touched the stallion, moving up into muzzle, between the eyes and to the horn. Then he snapped it off.

Sirius gasped waiting to see Snape get kicked or bitten for what he did but instead, all he got was two sets of eyes looking at him warily.

“Unicorns moult their horns from November to December Black. Did you really think I would forcefully rip out a unicorn’s horn?” Sirius didn’t answer that which told Snape all he needed to know.

A loud whiny cane from the forest as a few mares and foals came to the clearing as well. They stopped waiting for their leader to decide he was done with Snape and walk away. When he did, the bolder colts were the first to rush the Slytherin nudging him for treats. Their gold and silver bodies ran around him trying to get his attention. For the second time that evening, Sirius saw, or in this case, heard, Snape do something he’d almost never seen. He laughed.

No, not laughed. He giggled. He’d heard Snape’s rumbling chuckle under his breath that sometimes turned into lighter mocking laughter, but he’d never heard him giggle. It was light and airy but still deep enough to not be mistaken for a girl. It was weird.

He watched Snape give away treats and pet the foals before moving on to feeding the mares and taking their horns as well. Maybe this was why despite his dark appearance (that wasn’t quite that dark anymore), Snape excelled at Care of Magical Creatures.

“Let’s go, Black, dinner will be in half an hour and you smell.”

Sirius would retort back but Snape smelled like herbs, apples, and unicorn essence. He smelled good as fuck.

Chapter Text

Peter thought of himself as a good friend. He knew he wasn’t good looking like Padfoot or good at sports like Prongs or even really that smart like Moony. But he was there for his friends, even when he was scared shitless by the prospect of getting in a bunch of trouble or being eaten by a werewolf.

So naturally, when Moony said he had a crush on Sniv-Snape. He was torn. It was no question that Remus was the nicest to him and always made sure he was included where James and Sirius would sometimes forget about him in the rush of being popular.

But then Remus said he liked Snape. They weren’t supposed to like Snape.

And then James was okay with it. Which again was unnatural.

It would’ve been unfair of him to go to their side especially since Pads would be left alone. Plus, they were the ones acting weird anyway. But then Remus explained himself and Sirius accepted it. And if he was being honest, the only reason he didn’t like Snape was because Prongs and Padfoot didn’t. He barely talked to him despite always being there to support his friends’ pranks.

So when they suggested that they should all try and be friends with Snape, well he had to try too.

“Hello, um, Snape,” Peter squeaked out. The library wasn’t a place where he would usually, or ever, be found. This was for someone like Remus who liked to study and read and learn. Not him who was more than content with just barely passing his OWLS.

Pitch black eyes glared at him over the top of a thick book. If he was any more of a coward, maybe a first year again, he would’ve turned tail and ran. Snape’s glares had gone from mean pouts to something downright terrifying in the last few years and if he wasn’t often on the receiving end of them, he would wet his pants at the sight.

“What,” it was one word said with so much contempt and he wasn’t even the one who directly picked on him.

“What are you reading?” Whatever plans he had for an intellectual conversation flew out the window after he opened his mouth to greet the Slytherin but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.

“Can’t you read or are you dumber than I thought?” Snape’s words, like always, were knives to his small amount of self-esteem. Sure he didn’t like to study but that didn’t mean he liked being called dumb. Not everyone could barely study and somehow pull O’s and E’s out of their asses like James and Sirius.

Looking on the book he noticed it was about magical diseases. He never thought of Snape as the healer type, especially since he’d always been one to send the hexes that sent you to a healer. But Snape was good at potions and Moony said he could create spells so who knows.

“Oh, um are you-”

“Cut to the chase Pettigrew,” Snape spat out his name like it was a bad bite of fruit, “What do you want?”

“So what you’re telling me is you wussed out and ran?” Sirius asked looking down at Peter.

“He’s scary! I don’t know what you saw with all that unicorn stuff but he’s still scary!” Peter would not be called a wuss for running from Snape and he let them know it.

Remus sighed, not everyone could survive with those dark pools Snape had for eyes staring into the pits of their soul.

“I still don’t believe that. Snape of all people is cool with centaurs and unicorns? What is he, a fairy? No pun intended,” James added quickly as Remus gave him a dry look.

“It’s okay Wormy. The first time I tried to talk to him, he asked me if I could afford to be away from the two arses I was supposed to be kissing. He just takes some getting used to. If you show him you aren’t a threat and don’t act afraid, he’ll warm up to you.” Remus supplied with a wryly smile. He knew that his friends were still projecting the Snape they created onto the Snape he knew.

Where they saw scathing remarks from cruel wit that left verbal scars on the psyche, he saw a gifted mind that could pull words together so eloquently even if they were used to call him some kind of rude name that he’d need a dictionary to figure out.

Besides, they didn’t know the real real Severus that he saw when even Severus thought no one was around.

One day while he was not stalking Severus (he was stalking him very much so with the map and everything) he had seen him come across someone’s wandering cat and give it some chicken he’d snuck from the hall and play with it for almost an hour. It was no secret he loved animals to anyone who ever truly watched him interact with one, even if he tried to put on some uncaring facade.

“I have an idea,” Sirius said with his usual smirk. His eyes were sparkling; not with malintent, but something just as bad. Remus closed his eyes and sighed knowing there was only one way this would end up being a dumb idea, “I’m gonna go to him as Padfoot. He likes animals right so I’ll befriend him while being a dog!”

“So you’re going to become his animal companion and then reveal you’ve been a human, that he hates by the way, all along? That sounds like a recipe for disaster. He’ll probably feel more betrayed than anything else,” Remus said, shaking his head. He just said they needed to gain Severus’ trust and here Sirius was suggesting he pretends to be an animal to get closer to him.

“He seems like the type to talk to animals. It would be a good way to find out stuff about him!”

“Sirius no. He’d kill you if he knew he told you anything about him while he thought you were just a dog,” Remus said, shaking his head. It was quite obvious that Sirius didn’t always think things through when he had an idea, but he never knew it was this bad. Then again, it was his crackpot idea of scaring Snape with a werewolf that got them into this.

“Fine,” The brunet relented with a pout before his face gained a new, brighter look, “We can still get him a pet though! Hagrid probably knows where we can get something cool for cheap. He’s a Slytherin right maybe we can get him a runespoor or something!”

“We are not buying Severus a quad X rated beast or any pet for that matter!” Remus yelled throwing his hands up in frustration. Though he did rather like the idea of Snape with animals and in the part of his mind that he hated, he loathed Sirius for getting to see his crush interact with bloody unicorns, he knew getting Snape a pet would probably end in a huge mess.

“Pads is on to something though,” James added, “You should think of getting him a gift. Maybe a cake that says ‘Sorry my friend sent you to what could have been your death’,” James’ comment was met with two glares and a weary look, “Too soon?”

“What does Snape even like?” Peter asked opening the parcel he got from his mom. Like every time it was filled with his favourite sweets.

“Apart from Potions, Dark Arts, and Evans, he looks like he hates everything,” Sirius quipped as he stole a few of Peter’s biscuits.

Remus smiled, “He actually has a big sweet tooth.” Snape had a habit of chewing muggle bubble gum when he was studying. He said it was a memory trick; chewing while studying and then chewing the same flavour during the exam would help him remember what he revised. But Remus knew better than to believe that spell inventor, potions extraordinaire Severus Snape needed a chewing gum memory trick to get straight O’s on his OWLs.

“Snape likes sweets? Is everything we know about him wrong? Next, you’ll be telling us we’re all actually colourblind and he’s been in Hufflepuff this whole time,” James said with a scandalised look on his face. Remus rolled his eyes. If they spent as much time getting to know him all these years instead of bullying him then they’d know that he’s only a “greasy git” out of defence.

“So I guess it’s your turn Prongs, he probably hates you the most now, so maybe you should be the one to get him something,” Sirius said. James let out a “hey” and the other two looked at him oddly, “ We bonded in the forest and he helped me get back to the castle so he obviously likes me a little bit,” Sirius reasoned rolling his eyes at his disagreeing friends, “He grew up like a muggle right, get him some muggle things. What muggle things does he like Moony?”

Remus paused, of all the things he did know about Snape, the teen never talked much about muggle stuff. Even when their conversations strayed from academic topics he still chose to discuss wizard matters. Other than the muggle brand bubble gum he had no idea what muggle stuff Severus liked. The only person that did-

“I think we need to enlist some help.”

                                                                                                             XX

Lily was a nice girl. She also had one of the fiercest tempers of anyone he knew, only being outclassed by her ex-best friend. Even after last year’s incident and the fallout between them, he knew she forgave Severus even if she didn’t completely reconcile with him.

James had made the mistake of thinking it was okay to joke about the Lake to her, assuming she’d laugh along with him at the embarrassment of the Slytherin.

He got a hex to the face.

So he knew it was very important that they tread lightly in this area. If he wanted an answer that came from her mouth and not the end of her wand, he needed to be as careful as possible.

“Hey, Evans! What kind of muggle shit is Snape into!” So bringing Sirius with him to ask was most definitely a mistake. Lily waved off her friends with a kind smile, which evaporated as she turned away from their retreating forms to glare at them. Her wand was already in her hand and Remus could tell they had a good ten seconds to explain themselves before she made teeth grow from their eyebrows or something. He gulped as she raised her wand right to Sirius’ face.

“Lily,” Remus said stepping in front of Sirius and shielding him from her wrath, “Remember the thing I told you last year about our old mutual friend,” he let out a relieved sigh when her eyes widened in recognition and her wand lowered just a little, “The guys know about it now.”

“Remus John Lupin,” Full name territory was never good, “You really told them after what happened last year? Tell me the truth did they beat it out of you?” Sirius yelled out in objection getting an eye roll form the redhead in return.

“No, um,  worse. There’s a lot for us to catch up on and-”

“Then we’ll do it now. Let’s go,” she turned on her heel and walked away expecting them to follow without even allowing an objection.

“She’s pretty but sometimes I wonder what Prongs sees in her,” Sirius muttered as they followed.

“He likes that she wants absolutely nothing to do with him whereas you enjoy when people fawn all over you,” Remus teased getting a sideways shove in response. They walked through the ancient winding corridors until they came to the familiar History of Magic classroom. No one would ever think to come in there especially after spending an entire period being bored to death by Binns. Lily took a seat and gestured for the pair to sit in the row before her.

“I want to know all of it, no hiding anything from me,” She said crossing her arms.

Remus took a deep breath. He knew he could trust Lily, she had always been kind to him and had been friends with Severus, “Okay. Well to start, I’m a werewolf.” He waited for a gasp or worse, a scream but instead all he got was a pair of slightly wider eyes.

“Oh my god, he was right. I thought he was just trying to find a reason to be suspicious of you because you’re friends with James,” Lily said biting her lip. He didn’t know if she got it from Severus or if Severus got it from her.

“Wait, do you mean Snape knew?” Sirius asked leaning in.

“During fourth year he brought it up with me. He said he’d been tracking your mood and that you always seemed worse off near the full moon. I thought he was just trying to find a reason to distance himself from you since you started sitting with him in the library.” Remus ignored the pang that he felt when he realised his crush was probably a lot more reluctant to start their tentative friendship and instead sat there shocked. He always knew Snape was observant but he never thought he was watching him of all people.

“Did you tell him you were one? I thought after last year you weren’t on speaking terms anymore…”

The two Marauders looked at each other before Sirius nodded solemnly, “I told Snape to go down to where Remus transforms-” before he could finish his statement, Lily decked him in the face.

“YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU TRIED TO KILL HIM!”

“I didn’t think it through!” Sirius yelped as he deflected another hit from the green eyed beauty. Knowing better than to try anything, the lycan just watched as the girl switched between berating, cursing, and swatting at his friend. After about a minute, Lily calmed down and like nothing ever happened and Sirius didn’t sport a bruised jaw, she asked Remus to continue.

“Well he went down there and um since I like him and Moony- the werewolf me- likes him too I didn’t hurt him. And James came and I growled at him because he tried to take Severus away,” he paused to allow Lily to chuckle, “And so now I want him to come with me during the next full moon.”

“And that’s why we wanna know what muggle stuff he likes, cause we’re trying to get him a gift,” Sirius added rubbing his jaw and wincing as he poked a now purpling bruise.

Lily narrowed her eyes at them before speaking, “If you hurt him I will kill you.” Those words were more targeted towards Sirius than him but he Remus nodded all the same, “He’s really fond of marshmallows, Shakespeare, and he has a soft spot for messy hair but not too messy. Rugged but classy,” she said ruffling his hair a little.

“Thank you, Lily, I really appreciate it,” he said with a smile. Now all he had to do was find a way to get muggle marshmallows, memorise some Shakespeare, and find the balance between his neat hair and James’ permanent bedhead.

James felt off. Sure a lot happened in the last couple of  weeks with Snape being sent to the Shack and all the things that followed but it was different. He found himself staring at Snape. A lot. Not glaring, not glowering, not trying to get his eye contact so he could do something to Lily or make a rude gesture but staring.

At first, he thought it was because of Remus. Since talking with Lily he had undergone some changes such as only using his fingers to comb through his hair and reading all the Shakespeare that the library had to offer. They also had to find a courier service that would deliver them muggle items so he could get some marshmallows. One pack of normal ones for Remus to give him and a pack of Halloween themed ones that were shaped like cauldrons and witch hats for James to give him.

But now he knew the staring had little to do with his friend’s crush. But he couldn’t help it, the more he watched the more he noticed things about Snape that he never saw before. His so-called greasy hair actually looked quite dry in the mornings only taking a real downward turn after potions. His skin was a bit healthier looking going from the yellowish tint of their first year to a pale with a subtle grey undertone. His eyes were as owlish and dark as ever but more than in their younger years where he attempted to narrow them by always having a half-lidded look.

He also noticed that unlike before, now Snape was rarely alone. Before, if he wasn’t with Lily or in the library with Remus he was usually alone and avoiding people. Now he was approached by all members of his house with Rosier and Regulus being closest to him. Speaking of Regulus, the fifth year looked like he was pleading with Snape while the older teen ignored him.

James smiled as the owls flew in with that morning’s deliveries dropping letters and parcels before students. He watched as his own owl dropped two parcels in front of the Slytherin. One was marked with the antlers of a deer and the other with the moon. Remus had thought that Snape wouldn’t get it, or at least wouldn’t get James’ as he didn’t know they were animagi but judging from how he looked up and sought out the two of them, he must’ve figured it out.

Regulus had stopped his pleading and instead was interested in who sent Snape something. He picked up on him one of the parcels, and upon realising it was the one he sent, James frowned. Stupid Regulus not minding his business. He’d been calling the kid a lot more names these days, mainly in his head but still. The prat didn’t know when to let up, coming to all their classes so he could walk with Snape. How did he even get from the Astronomy Tower to the Transfiguration wing that fast?

He smiled when Snape snatched it away and tucked them in his bag before getting up and walking to the door. Regulus got up after him and before James thought about it, his wand was in his hand and a hex was cast at the younger Black’s feet. He smirked when he fell on his face.

“Prongs, did you do that?” Sirius whispered next to him. He didn’t respond as he watched Snape stop and turn around to look incredulously at his junior. James willed the raven to just continue on his way out but he walked back to Regulus to help him up. Something James couldn’t hear was said to them which caused Regulus to blush and Snape to glare at Rosier and Avery who in turn smiled back viciously.

Regulus dusted himself off, saying something that made Severus look like he’d just swallowed a nasty potion and caused an uproar at the Slytherin table. Snape grabbed him and pulled him roughly, dragging the flailing fifth year out of the Great Hall.

“Hell was that all about. Last time I’d seen those slimy snakes all riled up was when they got the old Defense Professor sacked,” Sirius said, his brow furrowed as he watched his brother get dragged out of the hall.

“Dunno,” James ground out before shoving more scrambled eggs into his mouth.

                                                                                                                XX

“Severus,” James greeted sitting across from the Slytherin. The onyx eyed teen looked up with a weary look before sighing and going back to his book.

James frowned, almost saying his name again until he spotted the familiar purple plastic of the marshmallow bag peaking at out from under the worn leather bag.

“Did you like your gift? I picked out the Halloween ones, they reminded me of you,” James said again with another smile. Snape still didn’t look up content with ignoring the Gryffindor’s presence, “Severus. Severus. Sev. Snape. Sevvy. Severus Snape. Sev-”

“You’re worse than Regulus. At least he understands when someone is ignoring him,” James frowned at that. He didn’t want to be compared to Regulus, especially if he was worse than him, “What do you want?”

“To know if you liked the marshmallow.”

“I’m eating them, aren’t I?” Snape replied going back to his book. James glanced at the title and felt the same piercing heat, the kind that was so hot it was cold, that he felt whenever Snape read stuff like this.

“Why are you reading that garbage?” Dark Creatures and Dark Origins; it was called.

“Because I want to. Maybe if you actually picked up a book you’d learn the joy of reading as well,” Snape replied almost robotically as he turned the page. His eyes widened at whatever he saw. Whatever he saw that was far more interesting than James.

“I do read. But I don’t read stuff about the Dark Arts like you.”

“You obviously can’t read because this isn’t about the Dark Arts. It’s about Dark Creatures,” Snape sighed, “Look,” he said closing the book and setting it down, “Do you actually need something or are you here to bother me? I’m sure you have better things to do than waste time with ol’ Snivy.”

“Does Regulus like you or something?” That wasn’t what James wanted to respond at all. He had many other things to say but that was the one that came out of his mouth first.

“Something,” Snape droned out before he began packing up.

“What do you mean by that? Does he like you? Do you like him?” James asked rising from his chair as the Slytherin did.

“Mind your business Potter. Isn’t that what you and your galloping gits always tell me?” He shot back pushing past the bigger teen. James caught his arm and pulled Snape back, “Let go of me you-”

James had kissed girls before. Yes, he liked Lily but he wasn’t gonna turn down every skirt that came his way, especially for something as simple as a quick snog. They were all kinda the same. Soft lips, curves to hold on to, flowery scent, small hands that went into his hair.

Kissing Snape was nothing like that.

His lips were chapped from all that biting he did and the angle was weird with his nose pressing into James’ cheek uncomfortably. The arm James held on to was as thin as a girl’s but less in a dainty way and more in a malnourished way. Snape also wasn’t kissing back. As soon as their lips touched the raven had frozen.

A sickening crack rang through the library as James was pushed back, his hand flying to his nose. Blood gushed out of his nostrils and seeped between his fingers like the weird green slime that would come out of the dungeon walls.

Bleary eyed, he looked to see a red faced Snape. Not red like when he was enraged or like when he was embarrassed. Those reds were fleshy and soft. Still human coloured. His face was unnaturally red. Like someone had hexed his head into a tomato or caused all the blood in his body to rush upward.

His hand was still in a fist, shaking in its follow through motion. His eyes were glassy like spheres of obsidian and filled to the brim like a goblet of water. He staggered back like a newborn equine before turning and bolting out of the library.

                                                                                                            XX

James’ heart was racing. He had just washed the blood from his face and hands and looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. A purple bruise was forming on his nose but from what he could tell, it was broken. That was good. A bruise was easily explained away.

But James had bigger problems than telling a white lie to his friends.

He kissed Snape.

He liked Snape.

He liked his friend’s crush.

He liked and kissed his friend’s crush.

Fuck.

It was kind of a no brainer now that he thought about it. He probably liked Severus for a lot of the same reasons he liked Lily. He was cute even though James spent the last five years telling him he was anything but. He was undeniably smart as hell. He was also funny despite most of his jokes being insults towards him. And he wanted nothing to do with him.

James swallowed hard. Remus liked Snape. Remus was one of his best friends. He couldn’t just steal his best friend’s crush.

Even if he did see Severus first. And talked to him first. Remus has said nothing to him on the train ride but his name and he asked Snape all the questions.

But Remus already claimed to like him first. James groaned. At least he now knew why he hated Regulus so much.

Regulus jumped up when the common room entrance opened. After the mess that was breakfast, he’d been waiting for Snape to come back to the common room so they could talk about it.

However, instead of entering with his same brooding poise he almost fell through the door. Standing up straight, Severus looked at him before trying to hide his face.

But those few seconds were enough for Regulus to see the pain in his expression. Glaring at the few prying eyes in the room, all of which had decided that what they were doing before was much more interesting than Snape’s situation, the fifth year grabbed his older friend and dragged him to his room.

“What happened?” Regulus didn’t mean to sound angry but he already knew the only people who could do this to Severus were his brother and his idiotic friends. He knew they did something to Snape a few weeks ago and now they did something else. He was sick of them.

Snape shook his head while violently wiping his eyes. He whimpered just once before taking in one more shuddering breath, “Nothing happened.”

“Nothing? Fucking nothing? Severus stop lying to me! You’re crying on my bed, you don’t get to tell me nothing happened!” In his fury, Regulus grabbed the collar of Snape’s robes, “Who did this?” He hissed locking on to onyx eyes. If this were a different situation, he would have blushed at their proximity.

“Reg, it doesn’t matter,” Snape whispered. The timid quality of his voice made him relax his grip and sigh. It wasn’t fair that just by calling him that nickname the older teen could calm him down.

“It matters to me. You matter to me. Just please, tell me who made you like this? Who made you cry?”

“Potter.” Regulus usually prided himself on being more in control of his emotions than Sirius. He knew of the infamous Black temper that plagued his mother, cousin, and brother. He always told himself he was more like his father or better yet, Narcissa, and able to reign in his strong emotions.

That all went flying out the window when it involved Severus.

Marching through the corridors, Black knew his face must have been full of righteous anger as even Filch flinched as he passed him by. He had no idea where his brother and his friends would be so he marched right up to the stairs leading to Gryffindor Tower.

As opposed to what should happen, the more Regulus waited the angrier he got. Whatever Potter did made Severus cry like he had been humiliated again. Wasn’t last year enough torment? He got the stupid muggleborn, he had no reason to still be bothering his Severus.

“What do you mean you walked into a bookshelf?” His anger nearly exploded as he heard his brother’s voice. Turning around he spotted Potter walking with all his friends. The side of his nose spotting a large purple mark. Perfect target.

Without thinking twice, Regulus rushed the groups of older boys and swung his fist right into the Chaser’s face.

“Regulus what the fuck!” Sirius yelled pushing him back. His brother looked furious as he took his wand out, ready to duel him in the hall. The other two helped up Potter who was holding his nose, blood dripping to the floor.

“Any of you approach Severus again and I’ll kill you,” his voice was devoid of any emotion that he felt. The wide eyes that met his gaze almost brought a smile to his face as he knew he was taken seriously. He wouldn’t actually kill any of them, but he’d definitely cast an innumerable amount of hexes on them if they didn’t heed his warning.

As he stalked back to the dungeons he could hear his brother yelling something at him and the sound voice of his friend telling him to calm down.

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe he did that to you! He’s such an asshole! We actually start being nice to Snape and now he decides to get back at us?” James nodded along casting another cooling spell on the handkerchief that he held to his nose. On the bright side after two hits to the face, his nose wasn’t broken but it still swelled like it was. 

“Sirius it’s fine,” James said cringing at his own stuffy voice. At least the blood had stopped flowing, “He likes Snape so he’s defensive about him.” 

“You didn’t even do anything though! The only one of us actually talking to Snape is Moony and he didn’t punch him in the face.” The named Marauder had gone to the library to find a selection of sonnets and dragged Peter along with him so the other boy actually did some homework. 

James sighed. He knew exactly why Regulus was mad at him. Snape probably ran back to the Slytherin dorms crying or something and like the overprotective sod he is, Regulus just had to be his knight in shining armour and come defend his honour or some shit. 

“Hey Sirius,” James said sitting up. The shaggy haired teen stopped pacing and looked at him with both eyebrows raised, “You’re my best mate, right?”

“Yeah?”

“So can I tell you something important? Something that you can’t tell Remus or Peter?”

Getting a concerned look on his face, one that meant he thought James was either dropping out of dying, Sirius rushed to his side and sat down on the bed next to him.

“You can tell me anything Prongs. But is it really that bad that you can’t tell the others?” James groaned, running a hand through his hair. Now Sirius thought he had some disease or something. 

“I’m not dying so please stop acting like I’ve got a blood curse. It’s about Snape, I made him cry.” The Gryffindor admitted. Like night and day, Sirius perked back up. 

“Oh, I thought you were about to say you had to leave Hogwarts or something. And so what if Snape cried, you probably didn’t do anything that bad to deserve getting punched,” he said flippantly, “I know we’re supposed to be nice to him and all but it’s not like you threw him in the lake again, so Moony probably won’t be mad. What’d you even-”

“I kissed Snape.” 

Sirius’ words died in his mouth. On reflex James pulled his arms up to guard his face, he’d be damned if he got punched again. 

“I’m not gonna hit you but I fucking should! What do you mean you kissed Snape? Why the hell would you do something like that? It’s not even funny!” Oh. Sirius thought it was a joke. 

James sighed, “It wasn’t meant to be funny. It wasn’t a prank or a joke-”

“Then why would you do something-“

“I like him!” Again Sirius’ mouth ran out of words, “I like him so I kissed him and he hit me.”

Before James could explain himself more, Sirius jumped up and began pacing. 

Shaking his head, he looked back to James, “No. You can’t like Snape.”

“Excuse me?” 

“You can’t like Snape,” Sirius repeated, “Do you even like him or are you just starved for attention?” James was taken aback by the words. Him? Starved for attention? Sure, he was used to being the centre of the group and dictating their actions to get Lily’s attention; but he didn’t like Snape because it was Remus’ turn to woo someone. 

“Of course not! I’m not some spoiled brat with a new sibling. I’ve always liked him, I just didn’t realise it first,” James argued mumbling the last part of his sentence. He was the reason Remus was around Snape long enough to like him anyway. If it wasn’t for him and his unrealised feelings then Remus wouldn’t have developed his crush. 

“Well, Remus said he liked him first so you can’t. Besides, don’t you have Evans? You spent how many years trying to get at her and now it’s all for nothing because you think you like Snape?” 

“I don’t think I like him, I know I like him,” James said getting up from the bed. He was the one who always sought out the Slytherin. He was the one who looked up his name on the map in the middle of the night just to see if he was still in the Astronomy Tower and he was the one who got out the cloak and went to watch him. 

“You bullied him for years!”

“So did you!”

“Yeah, but I don’t fancy him now do I?” Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to keep calm. He walked up to James, trying his best to look down on his friend despite their meagre height difference, “Look, Snape is Mooney’s shot at love. You,” he said poking James in the chest with his finger, “Aren’t going to ruin that with some last-minute play.”

James gritted his teeth but nodded. Remus deserved to be happy even if it was with Snape. And James wasn’t a shitty friend. Besides, if Snape rejected Remus then he would be fair game and James would swoop in and woo him. 

“Are you going to say anything to Moony?” James asked. With how mad Sirius was with him he wouldn’t put it behind him to expose his feelings to their mutual friend. Piercing eyes looked into his own for a few moments before Sirius shook his head. 

“I won’t say anything but stay away from Snape. I mean it James, stay away.”

James Potter is an idiot. Snape knew that from the first time he met him. On the train, he was rude and arrogant and stupid. From idiot, he turned into an unyielding bully, malicious pranks, hexes, and then flashing his pants for half their year to see. 

He hated James Potter. Until recently. It all started with that night in the shack, he did try to save him, and not for his friends’ sake. He came down the shack yelling his name, absolutely terrified that he actually died. He stopped being an asshole for the most part too, as did the rest of the Marauders. 

But that stupid kiss.

It had to be a prank. There was no other reason James Potter would kiss him if it wasn’t to torment him. Even if they were pretending to be nice, it was just a set up for some big prank. Maybe they’d make him fall in love or some rot and humiliate him in front of the entire school. 

Waving his wand over his parchment, Snape dried the wet ink of his essay. Next year was NEWTs and he’d be damned if he got anything less than an EE because the Marauders tried to hinder his learning this year. Snape tiptoed to the edge of the bookshelf and peaked around it. He usually sat in the divination section of the library, no one read that stuff so it was usually secluded and very quiet. It was also where Potter did that accursed act and where he would expect him to be again. So today he sat in the only place more secluded, the magical language section. No one, absolutely no one would be looking up a book in Gobbledegook or a reference manual for Fae’len. 

The coast was clear, only a couple of Ravenclaws he’d never met were around the corner, noses shoved into books like his own usually was. It would take him twenty seconds to make it to Madam Pince and check out his book. From there it would take five minutes to make it to the Slytherin dorms. It was lunchtime now so while there was a chance he could run into someone in the halls, it was unlikely. If he was able to-

“Hello, Severus.”

It took every ounce of willpower, harvested from Salazar Slytherin himself to not yelp in terror. His jaw was painfully tight as his heart jumped up into his throat. All of that planning for nought because Remus fucking Lupin managed to materialise behind him. 

“What do you want Lupin?” he spat. The werewolf had the audacity to look taken aback by his acidic tone like he didn’t know what happened yesterday. The four of them probably laughed all night long at how poor Snivvy cried after being kissed.  

“Are you okay? You look rather pale,” the prefect asked, his large hand gently reached out. If he was more unhinged, Snape would’ve hissed like a cat, maybe even bitten him like a rabid mutt. That would surely send his message for them to piss off and leave him the hell alone.  

“I’m always pale or have you only decided to notice me after I found out your little secret?” Good, now they were both paler than the parchment in his bag, “Piss off Lupin. And don’t buy me any more garbage.” The balled up plastic in his bag taunted him; yes those marshmallows were delicious enough to power a patronus with their memory, but he didn’t need them thinking they were going to buy his silence with cauldron shaped sugar snacks. 

“Sev- Snape,” Lupin started pensively, “What Sirius did was wrong. You should’ve never been told about the Shack-”

“Well obviously! He-” A gentle hand on his cheek stopped him from continuing. Lupin’s hands were large for his stature, like a puppy of a large dog breed. Warm with boyish roughness, they caressed his cheek gently before moving to cup his jaw. 

His head was tilted upward, and for the first time, he met Lupin eye to eye. Lily had nice eyes, her shade of green was bright as polished emeralds and gleamed when she smiled. But Lupin’s eyes-

 They were much softer green, befitting his personality. In the warm library light, flecks of gold shimmered hypnotically in those jade pools. Snapping out of his trance, Snape noticed the distance between them had shortened to where a breath could be shared between their lips. Lips that Lupin’s eyes were looking-

“Stay away from me!” He growled, shoving the taller boy away. Without waiting to hear a response, he rushed to the front desk to check out his book. Madam Pince was one of the only faculty members, along with Filch, to dislike the Marauders, even Lupin. Not only were they loud, disruptive, and (three of four anyway) did not care for books; their first major prank involved flooding the library. That always ensured that the library was safe for him as long as he stayed in the librarian’s line of sight.

After he checked his book out, a reference guide for magical plants, he booked it to the dungeons. 

XX

“Did you see Potter?”

“I wonder what happened?”

“Do you think it was Snape, I never knew him to be physical!”

Severus Snape was the subject of rumours before, a lot of rumours. In his first year, he was half-troll, a vampire in his second, a dark arts fanatic in third, the son of that Voldemort guy in his fourth, and a marked Death Eater by his fifth. At least all those other rumours had no actual proof, well except the dark arts one. But really, they thought his father was somehow the Dark Lord Voldemort? Wouldn’t he be dressed nicer or at least treated better by his housemates if that was the case? 

This year, however, the rumour was aided by the big honking bruise on Potter’s face. Gryffindors sneered, Hufflepuffs cowered, Ravenclaws (though one would think they were “too intelligent” to engage in gossip) turned up their noses at his supposed act of violence. One would think Slytherins would at least be happy he did something, but no. While some, namely Rosier thought it was about time, a lot of them thought he was taking care of his issue like a muggle. Evidence of his “poor breeding” they said. Even the professors gave him wary looks. 

“The one time I do nothing, everyone is sure as shit it’s me,” he grumbled stabbing into his dinner. To make a bad day worse tonight’s main dish was salmon. He hated salmon. 

“Sorry, I was pissed. But maybe they’ll leave you alone now that they know you have someone in your corner,” Regulus said with a smile. In another world he’d really be a perfect guy, he was well off, well mannered, good looking. And of all people he liked him, Severus Snape, a no name halfblood with a muggle father. But they would never work out, particularly for the last reason. 

Walburga Black would be dead and rolling in her casket before letting her “good” son associate with him more than he already did. Regulus probably had choices laid out for him anyway. His pick of perfect pureblood daughters to marry and produce the next generation of purebloods with. 

Besides, Regulus still looked too much like Sirius and that was enough to ruin any fantasy he could entertain about them. 

“There’s a Hogsmeade weekend right before winter holiday, do you want to go together? Not like a date or anything, just as friends. Because we’re friends and friends can go to Hogsmeade together and get butterbeer. Or tea. But that means going to Madam Puddifoot’s and that’s more of a date place and like I said it’s not a date it’s just-”

Severus allowed the rambling to fade into the background as he contemplated his next move. Obviously, with what happened with Lupin, the Marauders would change tactics. They’d need to split up if they wanted to target him while distracting Regulus as well. Logically that would split them in teams of two, Lupin and Potter to him and Black and Pettigrew to Regulus. Sirius would have no qualms fighting his brother, he’s a brute, and Pettigrew would be there for “back up”. Potter would try and hex him but as long as he was ready for the disarming charm he would have a fair chance at a fight. Lupin was a wild card, the coward never tried to cast a spell on him, especially not that he was a prefect. But any professor would believe his version of events.

“Oh sure Regulus,” Snape answered the question absentmindedly as he brought his goblet to his lips. Why did they always drink pumpkin juice in this place? It’s not even that good. Would it kill wizards to drink copious amounts of literally anything else? 

“Really? You’ll come home with me for winter holiday?” 

So this was it huh? Death by pumpkin juice. Severus Tobias Snape, just sixteen years of age. Dead by choking to death on pumpkin juice in the Hogwarts Great Hall. What a way to go, so befitting of a child of Slytherin house. 

A large hand came down on his back rather harshly, “Merlin Snape. You just accepted an invitation, a bit rude to die on your host after,” Rosier laughed as he brought his hand down again. Maybe he was the half troll, those slaps were hard enough to leave hand shaped bruises. 

“You can stop hitting me now,” Snape coughed out, smacking his hand away, “I’m sorry Regulus but what did I just agree to?”

With a roll of his eyes, Regulus spoke, “During the summer we had family over for tea, Narcissa and her parents. We talked about,” Regulus leaned in and whispered, “Andromeda and her less than tasteful marriage.” Snape didn’t need to see the look on Regulus’ face to know that it was a less than pleasant topic. A pureblood daughter from a pureblood fanatic family eloping with a muggleborn. That conversation was more toxic than an abandoned nuclear waste site. 

 “That got us on the topic and my dad brought up the disappearance of Eileen Prince. Apparently, your mum was supposed to marry my uncle, Alphard.” Snape’s nose scrunched up at that. His mum, married to a Black? There was a possibility that he would have been a cousin to the stain on humanity that is Sirius Black? Gross. 

“So you told them about me?” 

“No, Narcissa did. When my mother said she wondered about what happened to her, Narcissa told her mum married a muggle and produced a very talented son. She mentioned your friendship with Lucius and that you're the smartest student in the school and interested in dark arts.”

“So they wanted to meet me after that?” That didn’t make any sense. Him being smart and liking dark arts didn’t erase the fact that he was the son of a disgraced pureblood and a muggle. Even if it did he was poor where the Black family was one of the wealthiest in Britain. 

“Not at first. Mother berated Sirius for not being as good as you and admonished the rest of us for associating with an ill-bred halfblood. Father didn’t say anything other than it was good you were making something of yourself instead of being a waste to society.” That sure made him feel better about himself. 

“How does this lead to them wanting me to come over to your house for holiday?” 

“Well, you know how Narcissa and Lucius are engaged,” Snape nodded, “He came to pick Narcissa up for dinner and ended up having a private conversation with mother and father. After everyone left and Sirius went to his room they asked me to invite you over for winter holiday. Mother even smiled when talking about you.” Damn Lucius and his inability to not parade his little halfblood wonder around. If Snape knew impressing his then sixth year prefect with his knowledge would end with him being invited into the den of his enemy he would’ve pressed the hat to put him in Ravenclaw.

“Regulus, as much as an opportunity this would be, I don’t think I should come home with you.” Him, in a home of pureblood supremacists and Sirius Black? To put the cherry on top that bitch Bellatrix could come over for Yule supper and it’d really be a show. She was still holding a grudge for him hexing her heel to snap the night of the seventh year Yule Ball.

“Just think about it, okay? You still have two weeks to change your mind. I’d really like it if you came,” he said, grasping Snape’s hand in his. A hand so soft and even toned, with a perfectly manicured thumb that stroked the back of his own calloused, potion stained hand with yellowed, bitten fingernails. 

“I promise to think about it. In the meantime, we can go to Hogsmeade together.” 

“James,” Remus called out. He didn’t want to do this but today’s conversation with Severus, if he could call it that, meant something was up.

“What’s up Moony?” James asked. His bruise had gotten much better throughout the day, going from a deep purple to a dingy yellowish colour. It still stuck out amongst his skin and marred half his nose but at least he didn’t look like his face was turning into a grape. 

“What happened between you and Severus yesterday? I thought it was getting better but now Regulus is threatening us and he won’t talk to me. I know it’s hard for you to change your behaviour so quickly but what did you even do to make Regulus come after you like that?” If he could apologise then Snape would let him close again. The next full moon was during break and if he wanted Snape to go with him instead of staying tucked away in the dungeons he needed to get back in his good graces fast. 

“Oh well um,” Remus frowned as James looked away from him, “I might’ve brought up his parents. Not in a bad way!” James hurried to finish, “I just asked about them. Ya know making conversation and stuff. I didn’t know it’d be a sore spot for him. I didn’t think I’d muck the whole thing up, I’m really sorry.” 

The prefect could do nothing but sigh. It wasn’t super obvious during most of the year, but Snape didn’t have the best home life. Their fervent dislike blinded his friends from the more obvious signs of abuse Snape suffered which made their grand debut on the train ride back after each summer. He would carry himself in a way that wouldn’t agitate bruised ribs, a stance Remus was quite familiar with, and his face was noticeably gaunt. Third year he came back with a limp and still his friends pranked Snape the next day. Remus made sure to carry all the heavy tomes Snape tried to bury himself in for the next two weeks because of it.

“Yeah, that was a no go for sure. I’m sure he’ll forgive you in time. It’s Regulus I’m more worried about.” Sirius’ brother was the worst thing to happen to Remus’ love life. 

Potential love life.

As soon as he entered Hogwarts he stuck to Snape’s side as often as he could. It was cute, watching him scamper after Snape and ask him all kinds of questions. Even the nickname the other Slytherins saddles Snape with was adorable. Regulus’ mummy. It was cute, really cute until the younger boy called him a filthy Gryffindor and told him to find a different table to sit at despite having a project to complete with Snape. It got even less cute when the nickname changed from Regulus’ mummy to his wife. 

“He’s overprotective for sure,” James muttered, “But I’m sure you can smooth things out with Snape before the full moon. He always stays for break so it’ll just be the two of you here. He’ll be more comfortable that way and you can use all your charms on him,” James said, giving him a flirty wink. 

“Speaking of charms, how are things going with Lily? I think she’ll be more open to you since we’re making peace with Snape.” 

James rubbed the back of his, eyes shifting away, “Eh. Since she helped us out with the marshmallows and almost flayed Padfoot alive for the Shack I thought it’d be best if I gave her space. Ya know, some time to miss me. Didn’t that Shardspear guy say absence makes the heart grow fonder or something?”

“Shakespeare, James. And I don’t think he said that, but good quote.”

XX

“You alright Moony?” Peter’s voice came from behind him. 

He wasn’t alright. 

He wasn’t fine.

He wasn’t even the tiniest bit okay.

Because Regulus Arcturus Black made it his mission to never let Snape get a single moment alone. Any time he spotted the already incredibly elusive snake, the fifth year was behind him like a damn shadow. Didn’t he have OWLs to study for? How the hell was he planning on passing if he did nothing but follow Snape around all day? 

As soon as class was over, there he was in a flurry of black and green to escort Snape to his next class. Like he fucking needed it anymore. Maybe a year ago when Sirius would try and hex him in the halls and James would yell out insults he needed a bodyguard but now it was just insulting. 

With the exception of James’ blunder, the Marauders had been perfect little angels where Snape was concerned. No hexes, no insults, no pranks, nothing! Yet for the first time in four years, Regulus Black wants to play the faithful knight. It’s bullshit.

“I’m fine Peter. Just stressed about potions.” It was one of his harder NEWTs courses, one he was surprised Peter got into with them. Either Slughorn had low standards or Wormtail was smarter than he acted. 

“Well if it helps, I saw Snape going to the library alone. Sirius’ brother is still at quidditch, I think.” Poor Peter had to jump back to avoid getting slammed in the chin by his friend’s head.

“Quidditch!” How could he have forgotten! Regulus was the Slytherin's seeker and had quidditch practice. Throwing on his shoes and grabbing his wand, Remus raced out of the tower. If he hurried, he would get at least a few minutes alone before Snape was whisked away behind the secret wall of Slytherin house. 

Ignoring the burn of his lungs and throb in his legs Remus pushed on. He had to make it to the library in time. If he just talked to Snape everything would be better. He’d tell Regulus to back off, he’d stay with him during the full moon, he’d kiss-

“Hey watch it!” Morgana’s saggy tit.

“Oh looky here, a little lion out caught out of his den,” Rosier sneered, brushing himself off. Of all the people to bump into, literally, it had to be him. 

“Well, are you gonna apologise or keep gawking at him like a stunned house elf Lupin?” Avery asked from behind him. Of course, he wasn’t alone. Snape seemed to be the only Slytherin that didn’t travel in a pack. Even Malfoy ran at least three deep at all times. For a house of self-servicing arses, they stick together more often than Hufflepuffs. 

“Excuse me.” As he tried to go around, Mulciber stepped out in front of him. 

“Now, now, Lupin. What’s the rush? Got a date to get to?” He asked mockingly. Brown eyes widened before a sick smirk came over his face, “On your way to the library aren’t ya? Gonna jump Snape’s bones while his husband is away?” The three of them laughed, smiling down on him with vindictive pleasure. 

“Well little Regulus isn’t around to defend his poor wife, so it looks like we’ll have to do it for him, won’t we lads?” Rosier asked, wand already in hand. 

“Or you can come to the library and study for potions like you said you would. I can’t help you during the exam, you know.” Like a guardian angel, Snape appeared. Only instead of carrying a protective zeal, he looked rather bored, “At least Lupin can pass on his own, something I think three purebloods should be able to do without my help.” 

If they were dogs, the three Slytherin’s would have their ears down and tails between their legs as they began walking towards the library. Soon enough they passed Snape, who gave Lupin an appraising look. 

“You don’t look like you have anything wrong with you, so you truly are just a bumbling idiot. Next time watch where you’re going. I won’t always be around to keep you from becoming their next dark arts experiment.” The Gryffindor swallowed harshly at the thought. Poor Mary was still scared to death of Mulciber and he didn’t even get to do anything to her.

“Thank you, Severus.” 

“Whatever.” 

Chapter Text

“I already regret this,” Severus said, pausing on the first carriage step. Once upon a time, Hogsmeade had been a wonderful place to go. He never had much money but Lily was always more than willing to share with him and they could still just look around. That ended in fourth year when Lily started spending even more time with her other friends and their Hogsmeade weekends came to a halt. 

Since then he only ventured to the town a handful of times when he desperately needed potion supplies, but even then those weren’t necessarily on Hogsmeade weekends. And now here he was, snow blanketing everything in white fluff, about to go back.

“Oh come on Sev, we’re not even off school grounds yet.” When had he become Sev? Regulus must be feeling brave if he was using that nickname so freely now. Then again he’d usually have an automatic reaction to anyone calling him that name and Severus couldn’t muster the energy. 

But the last couple of weeks had Snape exhausted. Apparently, since they had no major, life defining test his year, Professors thought it’d be better to give them more homework. Back to back essays, a project, scheduled and pop quizzes? They wanted 6th years dead before they even reached final exams. 

Not to mention he was still absorbed in his own personal projects. Lack of headway aside, there was still more material to read and books to cross reference. Sadly, there were no secondary source texts for him to read, no one else had at least compiled any information together with curing lycanthropy in mind. The most he found were a few manuscripts for werewolf repellents and poisons but no attempts at a cure. 

Snape was smart, very smart, but there was a difference between tweaking potions recipes and making up a completely new one yourself. You had to have herbological knowledge, an advanced understanding of potion reactions, and take into account all external factors. While spells could be affected by wards and other spells, the phase of the moon doesn’t affect how strong your blasting curse is. 

Meanwhile, starting a potion on the wrong day, using ingredients harvested with the wrong tool or at the wrong time, or even using mineral water instead of spring could all ruin a potion or make it dangerous. With nothing but ingenuity, making a cure was going to be hard work. 

On top of all that, the winter holiday starts Monday morning and he somehow managed to kick his decision on going home with Regulus until now. Two days left until he will either be on the train back to London or hiding from Regulus so he can’t be forced into going. 

“Maybe if you went to bed like a normal person, you wouldn’t be tired,” Avery said offhandedly before grabbing Snape’s wrist and yanking him in. A strong hand pushed Snape down on the bench before he could fall over, the pressure on his stomach causing him to grunt. Avery was the first of his roommates to notice that Snape would stay out past curfew or leave in the middle of the night. Unlike Rosier and Mulciber, nosy bastards, he never cared enough to ask what he was doing. He just reminded him to not get caught and lose house points. 

“Yeah! What are you even doing out there? Can’t potions wait until morning?” Rosier prodded, “Or are you doing research again? Sneaking into the Restricted Section? Or are you going to the-”

“Is this a bloody interrogation? The Aurors might scout you at this rate,” Snape exclaimed frustratedly. This was all so very tiring. In retrospect, he knew there was a very low chance of Regulus letting him stay at the castle since he agreed to think about it- a phrase that apparently meant yes to the younger Slytherin- so maybe staying up half the night to work on a potion was stupid.

But, yesterday was the new moon and his first trial potion. His research had some obvious gaps that could only be filled by a certain Gryffindor but the idea of dealing with those hooligans again made him uneasy. Though it took some getting used to, going to school in peace was a pleasant experience and he wasn’t in the mood to get entangled with the Marauders again. 

However, considering his potion failed spectacularly, contacting Lupin might be worthwhile.

“Yeah, sure Mulciber,” Snape answered before he could stop himself. Too many years of pretending to listen to his housemates talk nonsense conditioned him to respond to questions he wasn’t listening to let alone comprehending. He was already facing the consequences of his offhanded agreement just to do it again. 

“Really? I thought you’d say no to this?” Regulus answered with a frown. What the hell did he just agree to? 

“Snape may be a lot of things-” rude much “-but he’s still a lad like the rest of us. You can still come, they just won’t serve you Firewhisky,” Mulciber said. Firewhisky? Three Broomsticks would never serve them Firewhisky. Unless…

“We’re going to Hog’s Head then?” Snape grimaced slightly. He didn’t have anything against the place, really. Okay maybe he did, he heard that the dude who ran the place was Dumbledore’s brother. He couldn’t really stand the headmaster and apparently, those feelings were passed on to the man’s kin. Oh and that guy had some weird thing with goats apparently?

Hog’s Head was also said to be a place where the backwater of magical society gathered. Dark wixen, vampires, hags, and the like, but he wasn’t scared of that or anything. Many students went there, especially on their first trip to the town, but Hog’s Head didn’t have the same cosy atmosphere as Three Broomsticks and the menacing old barman creeped them out. Lily never wanted to venture there, so neither did he. 

“Yeah. Heard they got another barman and he never asks questions if you look old enough.”

“Why are we drinking in the middle of the day?” Snape muttered but it fell on deaf ears as the other sixth years rallied. 

“You’re really going to drink Sev?” Severus had never touched alcohol in his life. Good emotions weren’t necessarily attached to that stuff but he already agreed and backing out would put the others in a mood. The last thing he needed after this already exhausting trip was to hear his roommates lament about his “little bitch” behaviour. 

“It’s not like I’m going to get drunk.” He could control himself, obviously. He didn’t even get how people accidentally get drunk. When you feel impaired, just stop drinking. Besides, he still had to spend time, alone, with Regulus after and being a little buzzed would probably help with that.\

XX

“I can’t believe that worked,” Regulus sighed as Mulciber placed two bottles of Firewhisky on the table. The barman barely looked older than them and that old guy was nowhere to be seen as Mulciber ordered for them.

“Oh lighten up, he gave us six glasses so you can drink too,” Wilkes said as he popped open a bottle. It was truly a sight to see, a table of six underagers in the Hog’s Head Inn with two bottles of Firewhisky. If a professor walked in and saw them now, there’d be hell to pay. Then again the faculty avoided this place like the plague, choosing instead to drink at Madam Puddifoot’s or Three Broomsticks if they could stand all the students. 

“No thanks,” Regulus replied, “I think I’ll order a Butterbeer or something,” he said before getting up. Soon enough, five glasses were filled and passed around. As Snape picked up his glass, his heart was about to beat out of his chest. There was no reason to be nervous, it was just a drink. It wouldn’t kill him or anything. No one got alcohol poisoning over one drink and he doubted he’d be anything like Tobias. Yet here he was, feeling so incredibly small with a tumbler of firewhisky in his hand. It wasn’t even a whole tankard or bottle like with butterbeer. Just a short glass with the ominously warm amber liquid. 

“What’re we toasting to?” Rosier asked, slapping Wilkes shoulder when he attempted to take a sip of his drink.

“Why do we need to toast to anything at noon? Let’s just drink and be done with it. Why did you get so much anyway?” Regulus chastised as he sat back down with a bottle of Butterbeer. Popping the top off he brought the bottle to his lips only for Rosier to start groaning.

“Can’t even have a decent toast with me best mates,” Rosier lamented, a smirk threatening to break his downtrodden facade. 

“For the love of- fine we can toast. A toast to the Quidditch team, may we kick Gryffindor’s arse!” Regulus said, bringing up his bottle. Snape almost followed along before the others started booing. 

“There’s better things to toast to, especially today. Eh, Snape?” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Apparently, whatever he said was hilarious considering the table erupted in laughter. Were they already drunk or something?

“A toast to your date. May we finally have peace in Slytherin House after Regulus gets a proper shag!” Snape tried to respond, red faced and sputtering as Regulus avoided eye contact and took a long drink of his Butterbeer. Any attempt at speaking was muffled by the loud cosigning of the rest of his roommates. 

Giving up, Snape looked at the glass again. Didn’t people drink because it made them feel better or something? Picking up the glass he held his breath and tipped it all down his throat. 

Fucking hell! Why was it spicy? 

Snape fought back a gag and the punch of red hot cinnamon. No wonder it was called Firewhisky, he felt like he was on fucking fire. After the taste of cinnamon subsided, the flame roared in his belly, spreading down to his toes, up through his throat, and even to the tips of his fingers. His face became increasingly hot as sweat beaded on his brow. 

“Merlin Snape, it’s not a fucking shot? Never knew you had that in you!” Huh? Looking at the others, all their glasses were only missing a couple of sips, none of them empty like his. 

Oh. 

“It’s not too bad.” Is what he thought he said but according to the astonished looks on everyone’s faces, it did not come out like that.

“Holy shit. Are you already drunk? Off one glass?” Wilkes asked in awe, “How much of a lightweight can you be?”

“It’s cause he eats like a bird!” Avery tutted, shaking his head.

“You drank on an empty stomach? Severus!”

It wasn’t like he was planning on drinking today. And he did eat breakfast! Two pieces of toast, one sausage, and a whole glass of juice. 

“I’m nah drunk!” The raven slurred. Huffing, he shrugged off his coat, it was way too warm for him to be wearing that no matter how light it was. Grabbing the unopened bottle, Severus attempted to pop the top. He could show them that he wasn’t drunk at all. 

“I think you’ve had enough Sev,” Regulus said, plucking the bottle out of his hands and placing it out of reach. 

“I thought you liked me.”

“What?” Regulus squeaked out.

“You said you like me but you won’t even let me drink some more and I’m not even drunk!”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Regulus asked incredulously.

“So you don’t like me?”

“What? No, I mean yes- er no? I like you very much Severus- ” 

“Oh bloody hell, come off it Black. So what, he can’t handle a drink, you’re gonna be with him all day anyway. No harm in letting him have a bit more,” Rosier said, filling Snape’s glass with the other bottle.

“Don’t give him more!” Regulus snapped trying to grab the glass. But in a move way too quick for an inebriated person, Snape snatched it first. 

“I can handle a drink, Evan!” Snape huffed before downing the glass again. It went down much easier this time, he didn’t even feel the need to gag. The same warm feeling enveloped his body once more, making his jumper very uncomfortable. 

“Atta boy! Having fun, Severus?” Rosier said, taking a big sip himself. 

His head felt like mush, his body was increasingly warm, and he could barely form a coherent thought. He was having the time of his life.

“You’re red!” Snape pointed at Rosier’s face before devolving into a fit of giggles.

“Okay, now he’s definitely drunk,” Avery said before taking the laughing teen’s glass away. 

“I’ve never seen him laugh before,” Wilkes said reverently, “Thought he wasn’t able to.” 

“Wait, this is the perfect time! Snape!” Mulciber exclaimed.

“Hmmm?” 

“What do you do all night?”

A devious smile grew on Severus’ face, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Laughter rang out as Mulciber sat there stunned. Severus Snape, making jokes? Was the world coming to an end?

“How the hell am I supposed to go anywhere with him like this?” Regulus groaned. 

Anyone who’d seen Snape before could tell something was wrong with him. His usually pale skin was flushed red, his seemingly permanent scowl was replaced by a small slanted grin and his cold obsidian eyes melted into inky pools, brimming with emotion. 

“I’m fine!” Snape said, shooting up from the table. Only to immediately fall back down into his seat. 

“Life isn’t fair” wasn’t something that usually applied to James Potter. He was wealthy, smart, good looking, and athletic. People liked him, wanted to be around him, wanted to be him. He was the only child, a miracle baby, to the most doting couple in the universe and grew up extremely loved. Life was always good for him, if anything he made it unfair for others. 

“Does it look bad?” Remus asked after running another hand through his dirty blond locks. His hair was tousled instead of its usual neat look. Lily said Severus had a thing for messy hair, a trait that fit James much more than it did Remus. 

A lot of things about Snape fit James more than Remus. Snape liked to study so he needed James to show him how to have fun. He was afraid of flying, something James was good at and could help him overcome. His worst (he still pulled off an EE at least on it so was it really his worst?) class was transfiguration, something James was the best at! He was amazing at potions and James was a little less than adequate. If opposites attract then James was the perfect match! It’s not his fault he wasn’t able to realise that until recently. 

“It looks fine mate, if you keep messing with it, it’ll look bad,” Sirius replied before smoothing out a few stray hairs. James held back a sigh. Only a few months ago, he was excited for this day. They’d go to Zonko’s and buy loads of supplies, get a bunch of sweets at Honeydukes, and he’d try to get Evans to have a drink with him at Three Broomsticks. But now they were going to try and get Remus and Snape alone for a “talk”. Snape obviously wasn’t happy with them and Regulus, James gritted his teeth, he was still playing guard dog. 

“Didn’t you say you saw Snape get on a carriage this morning? We haven’t seen him anywhere,” Remus said. Sirius had been the one to announce that he saw Snape get pulled into one of the carriages this morning. But after an entire hour of walking around, they had yet to see a single lock of greasy black hair. 

“Avery practically dragged him in there, he has to be around here somewhere.”

“Even if we do find him, how are we getting him away from the rest? Even if he’s just with Regulus, how are we supposed to get him alone with Moony?” James asked. They were literally looking for people that disliked them, immensely. If anything, looking for him now would just annoy the Slytherin more and make Moony lose his chance.

An insidious part of James echoed that that wouldn’t be a bad thing. If Moony lost his chance then Snape was fair game after all. 

“We can distract them, right Prongs?” Sirius said with a pointed look. Then again even if Remus blew his chance, Sirius would probably arrange James’ marriage to Lily himself so Remus could have another go.

“I mean sure, but what if he’s not alone? We don’t even have Peter.” Since Gertrude Pettigrew was on her last leg, most would be at 113 years old, Peter went to go visit his great grandmother one last time before she inevitably kicked the bucket leaving them a man down. Slytherins on the other hand travelled in packs. It was rare to see any of them alone, even Snape eventually got corralled into a group. Especially when Malfoy was still around.  

“They might leave if Severus tells them to,” Remus replied, his cold struck blush darkening, “I ran into a couple of ‘em when I went to see Severus in the library. He made them leave me alone.”

James and Sirius stuttered to a halt. 

“Snape made them leave you alone? Since when did those guys take orders from him?” It was rather impossible to imagine a couple of prideful pureblood sons taking orders from a muggle raised half-blood. The idea alone made James’ head spin, more so than the fact that Severus saved Remus from whatever dark experiment he was about to become.

“He was tutoring them and told them off for wasting his time. They left me alone after that. Maybe if we can convince him that I just want to talk he’ll tell them it’s okay,” he explained.

“You’re way too optimistic. I doubt Regulus will even let us get a word in,” James mumbled. Snape had the right to be upset with him over the kiss, it was probably his first one. Was Snape the kind to consider that a special thing though? The thought of him kissing anyone was a completely foreign concept until he actually did it. If Snape was sentimental over his first kiss, well James was much happier it was him than anyone else. 

“And whose fault is that?” Sirius hissed pointedly. Then again Snape obviously had a terrible reaction to it so maybe, stealing his first kiss wasn’t something he should feel happy about. The Gryffindor trio walked near aimlessly, peeking into all the places they assumed Snape would go, yet the elusive snake was nowhere to be seen. The apothecary? Near empty. The Caudron and Quill shoppes? No luck. He wasn't even at the herbology shop? A bust. Even after that, they checked places Snape probably wouldn't be but even those were empty of him.  

“The only place we haven’t checked is Hog’s Head. I doubt they’d go there though. The barkeep isn’t a fan of students.” Remus said as they stopped in front of the building. 

It was a bit rundown, not in the whimsical, nostalgic way of Ollivander’s but more in an abandoned area kind of way. James remembered when they tried to go in their third year. Sirius was convinced that a place like Hog’s Head wouldn’t care for the law and they’d be able to get served actual alcohol. The apparent hag convention that was in town kept them from venturing in though, three of them outside were already eyeing Peter and nearly made him piss his pants.

Just as the three teens were about to circle back to the town centre, the door of the inn busted open and someone staggered out.

“Holy shit.”

James liked Snape. He wasn’t a classic beauty or anything, but there was something there in that ever brooding expression. His eyes, though cold, could light up in fury and his downturned lips would curl up in anger. 

There was a strange mystique around him when he made potions, all awkward movements vanished as he became graceful in a way James could only imagine. And that voice, Merlin that voice. Going into fourth year, James couldn’t wait to show off his deepening voice. Sure it still cracked every so often but he was becoming an adult. But then Severus showed up with the voice of a grown man, all traces of his lighter childish voice gone and replaced by a dark, sombre tone. 

But James never really considered his body. Snape was small, waifish really. He surely sprung up in the last couple of years, going from the shortest guy in their year to being a bit taller than average. The most he ever saw of Snape’s body was when he pranked him after OWLs. Even then he wasn’t really looking at him, instead, basking in the crowd that gathered to watch. His feelings towards Snape were never really sexual in nature.

But that was about to change. 

“Where are your clothes?!” Sirius yelled, looking away. Snape eyed them, head cocked to one side. If James was not distracted by the expanse of pale flesh that made up Severus’ torso, coupled with two perky nipples surrounded by a dusty pink areola; he would notice how Snape was swaying around, flushed in the face.

“Sev I told you to wait!” Regulus yelled coming out of the building, arms full of clothing, “You’re going to get sick again. Come put these on.”

“But I’m hot!” He sure was, James unconsciously wet his lips as Snape moved around, oversized jeans resting just below his hip bones. It reminded James of that picture of a pop star he saw in one of the Muggle Studies project displays. James’ illusion was cut when a jumper goes over Snape’s head, hiding away all the skin James just discovered. Like a child, Snape wiggled around, moving his limbs into awkward positions that forced Regulus into grabbing his arms and forcing them through the proper holes. 

“I’m hot.” Snape pouted. Pouted?

Call it shock or awe, James was in it as the Severus Snape was in front of him whining. Severus Snape, the bloody dungeon bat himself, was whining like a petulant child right in front of him. 

“I don’t want to,” Snape whined as he shrugged off his coat once more. Before it could completely slip off, Regulus pulled it back up and began to button it up.

“I am not hunting you down to make sure you take medicine and go to bed on time, so you will be wearing this coat. Take it off again and I swear I’ll use a sticking charm on it, don’t tempt me Sev.” The younger teen then took out his wand and cast a warming spell over Snape much to the other’s obvious discomfort. 

There was something wrong with Snape. At first, Remus didn’t see it, he was far too busy…observing Snape’s exposed torso for him to immediately notice but he wasn’t okay. Despite the cold weather, Snape claimed to be hot, was red faced, and had sweat beading on his brow. Sadly, though Remus never really considered it sad until now, the new moon meant Moony and the hyper senses he came with were dormant. If he could smell Snape then he’d definitely know if he was sick.

“What’s wrong with him?” Remus asked, stepping towards the pair. How could Regulus force Severus outside in his current condition? Was he that desperate to have the potioneer at his side every waking moment?

“Piss off Lupin,” Regulus spat. He enveloped Snape’s hand in his own and yanked the off-balance teen to his side.

“Ow,” Snape whined, pressing his ungloved hand to his forehead. Worry shot through Remus’ body at the action. Snape wasn’t well.

“He shouldn’t be out here like that!” Lily didn’t say Severus liked guys who got aggressive but he doubted the raven would be angry with him for making sure he got the care he needed while sick. That would show that Remus was responsible, Snape seemed like the type to like responsible people.

Pulling Snape fully behind him, Regulus took a step forward and glared. Though a lot of people said so, Remus didn’t really see much resemblance between the Black brothers. Sure they had similar features but they didn’t look any more similar than the Black sisters or any other siblings did to each other. They weren’t some uncanny doppelgangers that forced you to look twice when you saw them. 

But at this moment, the teen before him was an exact replica of Sirius when he’s pissed off. His grey eyes held the same alarm raising glint that always meant someone was about to get their feelings, if not their body, hurt. 

“Stay out of our business, you keep sniffing around Sev like you mean something to him. Severus wants nothing to do with you, Lupin! Now, fuck off so I can take care of my friend.” To hell with that sticks and stones nonsense, words hurt a lot. A punch to the face would’ve hurt less than the verbal lashing he was just delivered. Whatever was left of his nerve was just ripped out of him as Remus froze in shock. 

Snape was mad at James, but that’s because James did something dumb. And deep down he didn’t expect Severus to ever really get along with James and Sirius nor did he think Peter would ever warm up to him. But they were okay. Sure things got messy and Snape didn’t like him for a while but things were better now. He had to want something to do with him, right?

“Merlin, Regulus! Whatever happened to having manners?” Sirius yelled, stepping out in front of him. 

“It’s just brutal honesty, not my fault Lupin is sensitive to the truth,” Regulus shot back, using a line Sirius had said not long ago in defence of his own “critiques” about Snape.

“He’s concerned about Snape. He’s sick,” James added offhandedly with a gesture to Snape. Said teen was swaying around gently, eyelids closed halfway with a rosy complexion. 

“That is my concern. Severus is my housemate and my friend.

“I’m hungry,” Snape mutters to himself, breaking the tense atmosphere, “Regulus I wanna eat.” Snape took two steps before being pulled back by the hand still connected to Regulus. The raven glared at the connection before attempting to pull his hand out of the other Slytherin’s grip. 

“Sev we’ll go get something in a minute. Can you wait please?” Like night and day, Regulus’ tone was much sweeter and a thousand times softer when talking to Snape. 

“You three,” Regulus snapped, looking back at them, “Leave us alone. You do know what a date looks like, don’t you? Pretty rude to interrupt, isn’t it?” 

A date? Remus frowned as Regulus pulled Snape away. He dragged a sick Snape out in the cold just for them to have a date? Since when did Severus return Regulus’ affections? Only yesterday was he still shrugging off the younger’s advances.

“We have to do something. Regulus can’t just drag him around when he’s sick, right? A professor should be able to help us,” Remus argued, shedding off his shock. Sadly, both he and Regulus were prefects so he couldn’t just pull rank and take Snape back to the castle but a professor could.

“Um guys…I don’t think Snape is sick,” James said slowly. 

“What do you mean he’s not sick? He was red, sweating, and dizzy as hell. He obviously has a fever or something,” Sirius argued. Remus frowned, he knew James might be mad at Regulus and maybe even Snape but he promised to try. Why would he deny the Slytherin’s obvious illness? 

“I know but look in the window,” James added pointing towards the inn. Raising an eyebrow, Remus peered into the cracked window to see the rest of Snape’s Slytherin gang downing a shot of-

“Merlin’s bollocks, Snape's drunk.”

Regulus was the responsible one. Where Sirius would run and hide from their tutors and sneak outside to see the muggle world, he stayed in and did his work. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to follow Sirius, his brother begged him numerous times until he realised he could spend more time outside if he didn’t bother.  Part of him could understand his brother’s curiosity, they lived surrounded by muggles and could see them and their world just by looking out a window. But Regulus was scared. 

His grandfather told their tragic history like they were bedtime stories, recounting the various witch hunts muggles went on to snuff out all wixen.  They terrified him to the point of nightmares, ones so real he could feel the pyre’s smoke in his lungs or himself being dragged down into frigid depths by the weight of a large rock. 

So he chose to be the good son. The one that never ventured outside and wondered how electricity worked. He absorbed and regurgitated his parents’ words back to them because that was all he ever knew.  However, Regulus wasn’t a mindless doll, he formed his own opinions soon enough. Muggles couldn’t be all bad and with all the technology things they made they weren’t really inferior. Wizards didn’t go to the moon after all. Besides, if their worlds were completely separate Severus wouldn’t exist. 

But despite all that, he couldn’t just stop. After a decade of playing the good boy, he was stuck in that position. His dad didn’t even acknowledge Sirius if he didn’t have to and the only time his mom paid him attention nowadays was to chastise him for not being like Regulus.

It was only a matter of time before Sirius was officially disowned or left of his own accord. Then all of his responsibilities would officially fall to him, Regulus, the perfect son. The son that cared about blood purity, hated muggles, would marry a pureblood witch and produce heirs to continue his family line. 

“Regulus I want a sammich. With steak and cheese. Melty cheese. Like in America,” Severus whined as he was pulled in the direction of the nearest restaurant. 

“I’ll get you that if they have it, okay?” He smiled at Snape’s content face. The redness has gone down and faded out into a soft pink. It made Snape look like one of those cherubim-like garden ornaments. 

Yes, Regulus was the responsible son. And at that moment he decided to be responsible for Severus Snape. He pulled them into the small eatery, a hole in the wall place that could barely fit an entire classroom’s worth of students. It wasn’t the most popular location, the owner wanted to serve authentic muggle cuisine in an authentic muggle setting. 

Magic wasn’t used in the cooking and nothing on the menu came with any effects. Though it took a great amount of warding, they were able to use that electricity stuff in here without the magic in the area making it act strange.  While Regulus wasn’t sure what Snape meant by a “steak sammich with melty cheese like in America” he allowed the hostess to seat them and started looking at the menu. 

“Is this the thing you want?” He asked, pointing to a picture. Philly cheesesteak they called it. Thin slices of cheap steak, melted bright yellow cheese, and caramelised onions stuffed into what looked to be a halved bread roll. He had sandwiches before but those were tea time snacks. They were made with cucumber and cream cheese or smoked salmon and lemon butter. 

Nothing like the sandwich he was looking at. 

“Yeah! It’s good!” Snape said with a goofy grin on his face. Maybe just maybe it wasn’t that bad that Snape got drunk. Sure he took some wrangling but this side of him was absolutely adorable. 

“Okay so we’ll get those, do you want the chips or the onion rings?” The pair settled with getting a side of each, muggle fizzy drinks, and a glass of water for Snape. Apparently, all muggle drinks would do was make you burp and even then it was just the carbonation that did that not magic. 

“Do you eat this often?” Regulus asked. It was from America after all so he doubted a restaurant in Snape’s neighbourhood sold it. Maybe his mom made it. 

Snape frowned at the question, “My dad used to make them. Before..” Snape waved his hand around like that was supposed to explain anything.  Regulus leaned forward, pressing the elder to continue with his eyes. Snape never, absolutely never spoke of his father. It made sense, no use speaking of a muggle in a house known for blood purity but still, Snape acted like he didn’t even exist. 

It wasn’t his place to pry but details about Snape’s life outside of Hogwarts were scarce. He acted like his whole life only existed within Hogwarts’ ancient walls and anything that happened in the muggle world was nonexistent. It was only by accident that they learnt his mother was Eileen Prince, all because Snape dropped his potions textbook and they saw his secret moniker. 

Regulus was Snape’s best friend, as bad as it was he felt like he was owed some information. Snape knew so much about him and Regulus didn’t even know his hometown. 

“Before what..” Regulus pushed, it’s not like it could be too bad. 

“Before I was stuck being a freak.” Regulus felt like he just got slapped. A freak? Is that what Snape thought of himself? He knew liquor loosened the lips but this was-

“He was so nice before. We were happy and he would make this when he got off work early on Friday,” Snape paused to sniff harshly. Tears gathered at the corner of his eyes, threatening to spill out at any moment, “And then I ruined it. I did magic and- and he was so scared. I didn’t mean t-to hurt him an- and then they were fighting and yelling and I tried to stop and be good and he-” Snape’s words dissolved into sobs as tears rolled down his cheeks, “He hates me so much. I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t and-”

Snapping out of his initial shock, Regulus quickly switched to sit on Snape’s side of the booth. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay Sev, I’m here,” he said, wrapping his arms around the sixth year. Tears soaked through his robes as their bodies shook from Snape’s sobs.

Regulus ran his hand up and down Snape’s back, rubbing smooth circles into his skin. No wonder he never mentioned that asshole. His father must hate magic and by extension Severus. 

“It’s still your favourite right? Well, now it can be our favourite. Your father doesn’t know what he’s missing, giving up on a son like you.” He would move Heaven and Earth to rewrite Snape’s memories. After today he would assure the raven would only associate his favourite sandwich with the good memories they would make instead of the memories of that man. 

“Thank you, Regulus. That’s the nicest thing anyone ever said to me,” Snape smiled at him through his tears. Merlin and Morgana drunk Snape was going to be the death of him. 

“Sev, can I do something?” The older boy tilted his head to the side so perfectly. It was almost an invitation to lean forward and-

“Here’s your food boys, sorry for the wait. The griddle was on the fritz again. I threw in some extra chips and rings for ya. Call if you need anything.” Their waitress said, dropping their meals in front of them. 

What a way to ruin the mood. 

“Regulus, what did you wanna do?”

“It can wait until after we eat,” he replied looking at the spread in front of them, “I’ve never tried any of this stuff before, what should we start with?” The words made Severus light up and begin explaining what each thing was and how it was made. 

Only muggles would think to batter and fry literal pieces of onion. 

Chapter Text

Pain. 

Dull aching pain spreading all through his body. His head alone felt like it weighed a ton let alone each individual limb which was now made of lead. His eyes were probably crusted shut and judging by the rank taste in his mouth, he didn’t make it to the bathroom last night to clean up. His stomach churned and bubbled like a first year’s cauldron. 

Prying his eyes, Severus hissed at the light despite it being the soft glow of the dungeon. Sometimes he didn’t like how dark and dreary the dungeons could be but if actual sunlight hit his eyes they’d disintegrate. 

“What happened?” As he searched his memories the last blasted thing he could remember was downing fire whisky like an idiot. He must’ve gotten drunk. 

He got drunk.

Severus bolted up and regretted it immediately. He put a hand to his mouth before leaning over the side of his bed. It was too late to grab his wand and summon the rubbish bin as the contents of his stomach emptied on the floor. It tasted much, much worse coming back up. What did he even eat yesterday, an entire restaurant? Merlin and Morgana, it just kept coming. Did he not digest a single thing? 

Grabbing his wand and banishing the mess, Severus decided that all sudden movements were banned for the day before casting scourgify on the surrounding area. 

He got drunk. He, Severus Snape, someone who stuck to the rules (most of the time) and earned house points from McGonagall herself for it, got drunk, underaged, at the Hog’s Head Inn. Oh first year Severus would be so ashamed. What’s next? He starts smoking too? Gets a tattoo on his face? 

Peeking out from his curtains, the Slytherin frowned at the empty room. He woke up later than Wilkes. No one wakes up later than Wilkes. Maybe he needed to take a sobriety pledge. 

It was Sunday, and the day before break. He didn’t need to get to breakfast on time anyway and it would go much later than usual. And honestly, skipping it would be great. He could probably sleep for the next decade and then some.

He still had yet to turn down Regulus and at this point he might have to disappear for the next twenty four hours anyway and what better way to do that than falling asleep in some warm corner of the castle. 

Then again his body just caught up with the world and was telling him he was now incredibly thirsty and needed to replace the contents of his stomach. Maybe some tea and toast would do him well before he vanished for the rest of the day. Toast with lots of butter. And maybe some sausage. And bacon. And eggs. Does alcohol give you a bigger appetite or did he just want to clog his arteries with grease? 

Crawling out of bed and entering the bathroom, Severus was pleased to see he didn’t look like he hurt himself or made any permanent decisions. He heard before that people would get tattoos and piercings while they were drunk and he certainly didn’t want any of those. What would he even get a tattoo of? A cauldron? A snake? Tacky. 

Besides, it’s not like he knew of any shop to get that kind of thing done around here. Then again, he heard some muggleborn had a piercing gun and would give you one for a few knuts. 

Regulus wouldn’t let that happen though. 

Fuck. 

Regulus. He spent all day, drunk with Regulus. Searching his memories, the Slytherin groaned when all that came up was nothingness. He spent hours with Regulus, in public, and doesn’t remember a single thing. 

“One of you deities out there has to be real, right? Whoever pulls through I’ll become a devotee immediately,” Snape whispers before turning on the faucet. Time to face the music.

XX

The thing about being an unlikeable weirdo with few friends is that you get used to people talking about you. People have had the name Severus Snape in their mouths since the first time he got into it with Potter and they never stopped talking. Rumours about him persisted, no matter how stupid they were. He was so disliked that even his good traits were either being used for evil or were points of envy. 

Couldn’t even be smart without it being undeniable proof that he was after world domination or something. 

That being said, Severus Snape was no stranger to being stared at and talked about. But today felt…different. Instead of spiteful snickering and mean looks, people looked at him in…awe? 

“Are you sure he did that? He doesn’t look any different.” Snape strained his ears to hear the reply but sadly got nothing. So apparently he did do something yesterday, something that had the castle talking.  

Two Ravenclaws immediately shut up as he passed them, their eyes following him like one of those creepy moving portraits from muggle horror films. As soon as he was out of an earshot they crowded together and began whispering. 

“It can’t be true-”

“No, Abbot saw it! Clear as day! Besides, no one else has a honker like him.” Rude. 

Walking into the Great Hall was never much of an event. Most people didn’t notice stragglers who came late for a meal, especially on a weekend. And yet when he stepped in a noticeable hush spread across the room before the talking picked up with fervour. 

What the fuck did he do?

“Um Severus?” SEVERUS???

Snape whipped around to see two Hufflpuffs behind him. He’d never seen these two kids before in his entire life. First years by the look of them. The pair couldn’t be older than 12, a honey haired girl with wild purple eyes and a much shorter boy with tightly coiled black hair and thick lensed spectacles. 

“Yes?”

“We just wanted to say thank you for yesterday. Clyde and I had lots of fun! The others did too but they’re too shy to say anything. You’re not as bad as people say you are,” the girl said with a growing smile. Rude. 

“Janie, you can’t say it like that! She means that you’re nicer than anyone gives you credit for. We really did have a lot of fun and um thank you. Have a good holiday Severus.” Clyde said before dragging Janie to the Hufflepuff table. Immediately the pair were descended upon by their yearmates, many throwing curious glances, small smiles, and hesitant waves his way. 

Bloody hell was that one of the sixth year Hufflepuff prefects smiling at him? 

“What the fuck did I do?” Snape demanded sitting down beside Regulus. Forget the formalities and the greetings. No one was hearing so much as a “hello” until he knew why baby Hufflepuffs were thanking him. 

No one met his eyes. Even Rosier, of all people, looked away from him with a tense look on his face. 

“We tried to stop you. But you were too fast,” Wilkes started, “It was like you were possessed. You just saw them and-“

“And what?” Snape hissed, making the other teen shrink back. 

“Well after your uh date, we went back to the castle. None of us were that sober except for Regulus. And well we tried to get you inside before the professors saw and we really did try Snape. But you’re slippery when your drunk and you took off and-“

“Oh for fuck’s sake, you started playing in the snow with firsties. Is that what you wanna hear? You, big bad Severus Snape played in the snow with a bunch of first year Hufflepuffs. You made snow fairies and built a fucking snowman. You even enchanted it to sing. Happy now?” Rosier said, looking like he wanted to vomit. 

And just like that, in one afternoon, a six year reputation, gone. Six years of building up Severus Snape, the unapproachable dungeon bat. The one that all the first years heard to avoid, the upper year that inspired terror with just a glare.

Was seen playing in the snow. 

With first year Hufflepuffs. 

“I’m ruined,” Snape moaned, putting his head down. 

“I wish I could say it’s not that bad mate but it is. You were hugging them,” Mulciber lamented, “You told them to call you Severus and you called them adorable.”

“I will be jumping from the astronomy tower after breakfast. Please don’t try to stop me,” Snape said mournfully, “How could you let me disgrace myself like this?”

“We tried to stop you! You told us to leave you alone so you could have fun! It was like you were a totally different person,” Mulciber argued, “None of us knew you’d be a cuddly drunk.”

A cuddly drunk. He, Severus Snape, was a cuddly drunk. 

“I’m never touching alcohol again. That garbage is evil.” Prohibition should’ve taken off in England. 

“It’s not that bad. People will forget about it by the time the holidays are over,” Regulus said, setting down a cup of tea before him, “Does your head hurt? You were really out of it yesterday.” 

Snape took the tea and sipped it, Regulus always made his cuppa exactly like he wanted it. He never recalled telling him he preferred it without sugar and just a hint of cream but somehow Regulus picked up on it. 

“I’m fine. Just hungry,” he said, piling his plate with eggs, sausage, and toast with strawberry jam. His housemates gave him odd looks which Snape promptly ignored. His usual morning meal consisted of a cuppa. He also had one piece of plain toast if he was feeling particularly peckish. 

Biting into the first sausage Severus almost moaned. He never remembered food being this good. No wonder Tobias ate up what little they had, every morsel was a delicacy. 

He usually thought the eggs were bland, not even having a decent amount of salt to them, but today it was the best eggs he’s ever had. Greasy food had to be a cure for this post drunk nonsense. 

“Did you not feed him on your date?” Wilkes asked as he watched Snape devour his third sausage. 

“Maybe they were too busy snogging to worry about their stomachs,” Avery quipped, looking away from the entrance, “By the way what was with your brother and his mates yesterday? Heard they were running ‘round town like mad. Lost something apparently.” 

Snape raised an eyebrow at that. What could they have lost to make them act like that? Potter’s coin purse? 

“They were being idiots like usual that’s all,” Regulus answered calmly. The others instantly dismissed the question and went on to other topics but Severus eyed the fifth year oddly. 

Regulus was raised a proper pureblood. He was raised with strict manners and therefore always sat with proper posture in public. It looked natural on him and yet his straight posture now looked odd. His spine was a violin string, one wound too tight. It looked unnatural. 

“You’re upset,” Snape whispered before taking a bite of his toast. 

“Those three are the most infuriating scum brained idiots to walk the earth,” Regulus sneered as he looked in the Marauders direction, “Pettigrew as well but at least he wasn’t there in the flesh to participate in their stupidity.”

Okay a bit more than upset. Not remembering anything, Snape chose to not push the issue. Regulus looked like he would leap across the hall and strangle Lupin if he had to speak anymore about the Marauders. 

Instead he chose to shift just a tad closer to Regulus, enough that they could feel each other’s body heat. Usually that was enough to get Regulus to relax but whatever happened must’ve really gotten to him. Snape knocked his knee into Regulus’ before settling his thigh against his. The younger teen then relaxed, letting his body push back against Severus’. 

Like every morning, the owls flew into the Great Hall dropping the letters and parcels sent to students. And like every day, Severus expected nothing. 

He didn’t own an owl, his mother didn’t own an owl and only sent him 3 letters a year at most. He was too poor to order anything and had no one else to be exchanging letters with anyway. 

An eagle owl dropped a letter and a shrunken parcel right in front of Snape, almost landing in his dinner. So maybe he did have one person he exchanged letters with. 

“Malfoy sent you something?” Avery asked. A pointless question really, you could spot a Malfoy letter from miles away. You’d think the family had a monopoly on silver envelopes. 

Ripping the letter open, Severus began to read it. 

Severus,

Forgive me for my impatience but I will skip the usual formalities. Narcissa and I hope to see you this winter holiday at the Malfoy Yule Ball. Seeing as you will be in the home of Lord and Lady Black, it should be quite easy for you to attend this year. My father is very interested in meeting you as well as one of his acquaintances.

We already went through the hassle of preparing your outfit. Formal dress robes and a pair of handmade loafers. If the tailoring is incorrect, Lady Black will be more than willing to aid you in getting your robes altered. 

We will see you for brunch the day after you return from Hogwarts, nothing formal I assure you. 

The handwriting then changed to one he recognised as Narcissa’s. Her letters were much more fluid that Lucius’ and she dotted her I’s with tiny circles. 

I hope this letter finds you well, Severus. Please do not give Regulus a difficult time, you know how much he adores you. Do not fret about my aunt and uncle. They will make the effort to be civil; they are well aware of exactly who is looking forward to seeing you. Tuesday cannot come fast enough my dear, be well until we meet again. 

Lucius and Narcissa 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Fuck! There goes his plan to hide until it was too late. If he didn’t go now… 

“Now you’re upset,” Regulus grumbled before pressing closer to him.

XX

Unlike other people in this world, Snape knew he had to pack and pack now. He refused to be like many others, scrambling the morning of to shove anything they could grab into their trunks before breakfast. He would not be the idiot that forgot their socks and parchment. 

Opening the door to his dorm room, Severus stuttered to a halt, surprised to find Rosier sitting on his bed. Before he can say anything, the blond produces his own silver envelope. Taking note of his bed, laid out on it were countless bottles and containers. French words in fancy script taunted him with their horrid hidden meanings. 

“Cissa knew if she sent you all this beauty shit you’d throw it in the bin.”

“So she sent it to you,” Snape replied. 

“And I’m gonna make sure you use every last one of them. I’m not risking my arse because you don’t want to look presentable. There are going to be some very important people at the Malfoy’s ball, Snape. Can’t disappoint them now can we?”

“No, I suppose we can’t,” Snape answered through gritted teeth. 

“Do you want to choose what we start with? Or are you going to be an arse about the whole thing?” If Rosier didn’t sound so defeated, Snape would have made the entire experience hell. 

But he knew very well how much Rosier hated anything resembling dress up games. Turns out even Bellatrix was just a little girl once, one that wanted to put bows in her younger cousin’s hair and lipstick all over his face. 

“Doesn’t matter. Let’s just get this over with.” 

What followed were the most torturous four hours of his life. His mouth tasted like chalk with the amount of teeth whitening potion Rosier made him swish around. After each and every rinse, green eyes peered into his mouth and tutted before filling up his cup again and commanding him to rinse. Finally, Rosier nodded in approval before showing him the new toothpaste that he needed to start brushing with. 

His scalp stung from the force at which Rosier washed through his hair. It didn’t help that the blond was very vocal about his dislike of Snape’s hair texture. Somehow it was dry and oily at the same time; greasy wheat as the blonde put it. After a ridiculous amount of washing, Rosier put a mountain of sweet smelling foam on his head and ran it through his hair. To make it worse, prior to the foam his hair was assaulted by a pair of scissors. His mum never cut that much off when she gave him a trim before the school year. 

“Do I look like a bloody woman to you? I am not putting curlers in my hair!” 

“They’re going in your hair so shut up and hold still damn it.” 

His scalp stung with each and every curler rolled into his head. To make it worse, every time he winced- “Ow! Rosier what the fuck?!”- Rosier would hit him with the brush.

“Stop fucking moving or I’m starting the whole thing over. Merlin, Snape you’re worse than Andromeda was.” Is this what women have to go through? It fucking sucked. Weren’t there spells for this or something?

“I’m not putting that poison on my face Evan,” Snape snarled as he attempted to bat the bottle out of Rosier’s hand, “We just washed my face, why are we putting more shit on it!”

“Because it’s a bloody routine Severus! There are multiple products. So hold still and let me put this on your stupid face!” 

Whatever that was, it stung and smelt nasty. They had washed his face, twice, because apparently you need two types of cleanser. That was followed up by the poison Rosier put on him, a thick cool mud like mask that smelled like dirt, and finally two types of moisturiser. 

“There. Done. And you look human for once congratulations,” Rosier said flatly before going to his bed and collapsing on it. Snape turns to look in the mirror and freezes.

It was him. Undeniably him. He had the same nose, the same facial structure, and yet.

Raising a hand to his head, Snape ran his fingers through his hair. It was soft, luscious even. Instead of being stuck straight, stringy, and weighed down by grease and potion fumes it was light. Bouncy. Merlin, his ends even had a slight wave to them. 

His skin had lost its yellowish pallor leaving him with an even skin tone. His skin itself was nice, blemishes gone. And his teeth, while still crooked, no longer looked like he’d never been to the dentist for a cleaning. 

He looked… 

“Merlin and Morgana,” Snape whispered in awe. 

“You look good mate. Really. And don’t tell Regulus I said that though,  before he tries to murder me in my sleep,” Rosier said before dragging himself out of his bed and to the door.  

“We skipped lunch so don’t miss dinner,” he added before leaving. 

Shaking himself out of his stupor, Severus began packing his trunk. He didn’t own much so it wasn’t like it was hard to put it all away. The last item he grabbed was his potion ingredient collection bag. He probably wouldn’t need it at the Black’s residence considering they lived in London but Lucius might let him in the Malfoy greenhouses and he’d surely need it then. 

Picking it up, a blue crystal fell out causing Severus to gasp. He’d forgotten all about Firenze’s little surprise. He was supposed to sleep with it under his pillow and experience whatever divination the crystal held in his dreams. 

Shrugging, Snape put it in his bag. He was already planning on finishing his winter assignments on the train ride, he’d need something to keep him occupied at the Blacks. 

“Snape’s got mail,” Sirius said as he peered at the Slytherin table. It wasn’t hard to figure out who sent it. If the eagle owl wasn’t clue enough the blinding envelope it held was. 

Each house of great importance has their own signature stationary. Malfoys use silver, the Averys royal blue and of course Black for our own house. 

“Malfoy always sends him letters, doesn’t mean much,” James said, mouth half full of eggs, “Besides, he’s not the only one who got something.” 

One must fully chew and swallow their food before speaking. The last thing one would desire is for food to fall from their mouth like an animal at the dinner table. 

Sirius frowned looking back at the black envelope before him. He didn’t write to his parents. Even on his first night, when every student rushed to write home about the train and what house they ended up in, Sirius went to bed. 

It’s not like they cared anyway, of all the things they ridiculed him for (his house, his friends, his grades, his behaviour) him not writing to them was never an issue. It’s not like they sent him any letter either, well until now. 

“I don’t know why they bothered. They should know I’m just gonna toss it,” Sirius grumbled before picking it up.

You are a Black, Sirius. Others cater to you and your whims. If you receive an unwanted correspondence, simply dispose of it. Others should know their place and where they stand with their betters before attempting to make contact. 

“And yet you haven’t. Just read it, Padfoot,” Remus said. Always coming in with logic wasn’t he. Ripping open the envelope, Sirius frowned as he unfolded the parchment. His mother didn’t even bother sending howlers after first year and they sent him a letter now in sixth. In the past if they really wanted him to know something they’d just tell Regulus to tell him in their letters to him. 

Sirius, if you wish to still be part of this family in any capacity be at King’s Cross Station tomorrow evening with your brother. If you do not appear we will assume that you no longer wish to be a Black. 

Furthermore, your brother invited one of his housemates to our home this Yule. Severus Snape is not to be the victim of your foolishness as he will be a guest in our household. 

-Father and Mother

“WHAT!” Sirius jumps up as he reads over the last part of the letter. His eyes find the Slytherin immediately. He’s sitting with Regulus like always and giving him a look like the rest of the Great Hall. A hand grabs his robes, yanking Sirius back down into his seat. 

“Padfoot what the hell?” James hissed before glancing at the staff table. McGonagall’s piercing gaze was already upon them, threatening them to make one more disruption. 

“Snape’s going to Grimmauld Place for break,” Sirius said before throwing the letter down on the table. Two hands race to grab it, Remus not so delicately snatching it from James’ fingertips. 

Golden green eyes flit about the page before Remus finally drops the offending letter in front of James. 

“How in the world? Your parents hate muggles,” Remus moaned. Half blood or not, purity was what mattered most. Even half bloods that couldn’t name their muggle ancestors were classes below purebloods to the Blacks. His family meticulously kept that damn family tree, more like a family wreath, going for generations with anyone who stepped out of line blasted off. 

And yet Severus with a muggle father is not only being invited but Sirius is expected to be on his best behaviour because of his presence. 

“Well we have to stop this, right? You said Snape wasn’t interested in blood purity and stuff right but your parents will definitely try and change his mind.”

“Aren’t you disowned?” James asked, snapping them all out of their worry. Sirius furrowed his brow, he surely assumed he was. 

“Well we had a row, worse than anything on the last day of summer holiday. The hag said if I left I was no longer their heir and I did. Thought she blasted me off the tree for that,” Sirius recounted thoughtfully. It didn’t make any sense, Walburga Black was not sentimental and it felt like they’d been at odds since Sirius learnt to talk. Then again he never heard anything about Regulus being heir and Uncle Alphard didn't reach out to tell him anything had changed with the family. Did Regulus even know he technically left the family? 

“Well you can still be her son and not her heir. You may have been disinherited but not disowned,” Remus added, “But either way, how are we going to stop Severus from going?” 

Authority is everything Sirius. People will fall over themselves to do what you ask because you are a Black and that alone carries all the authority you’ll ever need. People submit to power, even if they don’t want to. 

“Dumbledore.”

“What?” James asked. 

“Dumbledore‘a the headmaster, if anyone can stop a student from leaving the castle it would be him,” Sirius explained hurriedly. 

“Yeah but how are we going to convince Dumbledore to not let Snape leave for break? In case you forgot, staying at school for winter holiday is the alternative option,” Remus said dejectedly. 

“You’re my best mates right? You trust me?” Sirius said. The three other Marauders sat up at the change in tone. Sirius was…serious. 

“Of course we trust you,” Remus responded resolutely, James nodding at his statement. 

“Good. I’m sorry lads,” Sirius said before taking out his wand. With a swish, James’ and Remus’ plates flipped, launching eggs, sausages and toast into their faces. 

“MR. BLACK!”

XX

The Headmaster’s office is not somewhere Sirius liked to go. Despite often finding himself here, it usually ended with him leaving the room with a detention or five. 

“Is everything alright my boy, you caused quite the commotion at breakfast?” Dumbledore asked gently. With a wave of his hand, a tea set popped into existence with two steaming cups before each of them. Sirius picked up his before taking the teaspoon and adding sugar. 

There will be times when you must play the game Sirius. To be straightforward is to be naive, it is to be vulnerable. Your intentions are your own and not for the others. You are not to ask others to act but to convince them that your ideas are their own so they act anyway. 

“It’s nothing. Just acting out I guess,” Sirius shrugged, parroting the same excuses his father gave for his behaviour in the past. 

Dumbledore gave him an indulgent look before pushing a plate of biscuits towards him. Sirius took one, tossing it in his mouth without care. 

“My parents sent me a letter,” Sirius said without looking at the Headmaster. He kept his eyes down, stirring his tea despite the sugar being long dissolved. 

“I see. I take it the letter was not pleasant?” The headmaster asked gently. 

“No the letter,” Sirius sighed, “the letter- the letter was fine. They want me to come home after what happened in the summer, guess they forgive me or whatever.” 

Sirius peeked up at Dumbledore. The man seemed to be waiting for him to continue, blue eyes unmoving behind half moon lenses. 

It is always important to hold back Sirius, only say enough to pique interest. Others, especially the lesser, are always more invested if they think they are being let in on something. 

Sirius stirred his tea once more before taking a measured sip. 

“Was there something else in the letter?” Dumbledore asked softly. 

Sirius sighed before placing his tea down. He let his shoulders sag as he looked off to the side. With his left hand he picked at a stray thread on his robe. 

“My parents told me I had to be on my best behaviour ‘cause Regulus is bringing Snape home for break,” Sirius nearly smiled at the flash of shock that came across the headmaster’s face. It wasn’t often Dumbledore looked anything but serene or jolly.  

“I see. I understand that may be difficult for you Sirius, are you thinking of going home with The Potters for the holiday or staying here with Remus?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really care about that but…” Sirius trailed off. Dumbledore leaned in just a hair, just enough that Sirius knew he had him. 

“Are you concerned about Mr. Snape?”

“Yes,” Sirius answered mournfully, “It’s just- well Snape’s not…he’s not that bad. He at least doesn’t deserve to spend the winter holiday with my family. You know how they feel about muggles,” Sirius lowered his voice for the last part. 

“I heard some rumours about that Voldemort guy and the kind of things he does to people like Snape. I guess I’m just a little worried.” 

Dumbledore nodded in sympathy, his brow furrowed at the new information dropped on him. Hopefully, Dumbledore would do exactly what Sirius wanted him to. 

“Is there anything else you wish to discuss, Sirius?”

 “Not really. I don’t even know why I brought it up to you; guess I just needed to talk it out. Thank you for listening, Headmaster.” 

“Anytime my boy. You have detention with Professor McGonagall soon, correct? Let me write you a note to excuse your tardiness.” With a quick snap of his fingers, a piece of parchment and quill appeared. The quill wrote so fast Sirius thought it’d set the parchment aflame before the note folded itself up and deposited itself in Sirius’ hand.

Information is vital, Sirius. It is the difference between life and death. Get it whenever you can. 

Sirius opened the note as soon as he made it around the corner from the Gargoyle. 

Please see me as soon as possible. Urgent matter concerning Mr. Snape’s winter holiday plans. Please bring a copy of the school codes.

-Albus Dumbledore 

A grin broke out on Sirius’ face. 

Chapter Text

As unique as every individual is, most people fit in a box. A large, generalising box but a box nonetheless. There was a line between what was good and what was bad, what was right and what was wrong. Blood purity for example, was wrong. People who believed in it were bad. 

Despite this fact, Severus Snape didn’t fit neatly into a box. 

Albus took his time to learn about every student who walked through his halls. Of course, he did not know every last detail, even he couldn’t contain all that information, but he knew the most important facts. 

 The Prince family was not considered a dark family but blood purity was still part of their family charter. Eileen passing any of those sentiments to her son was unlikely; she married a muggle and he was friends with a muggleborn after.

But now, it seemed that purebloods had a point about breeding true. His father’s muggle blood did not keep that word from Snape’s lips. 

And yet he apologised. Prostrated himself until he was driven away. That was not what an unrelenting blood purist did. 

“Anything yet?” Albus asked as he turned another page. McGonagall only sighed in return before taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes. 

Severus Snape was absolutely brilliant, one of the brightest students Hogwarts had ever seen. His potions ability was leagues above what was expected from even the best students his age. 

He was a favourite of Flitwick, mastering charms moments after they are introduced. His duelling ability was also incredible, sadly it was mostly displayed in spats with the Marauders. Spats that all started because of one fact, Severus Snape was a Slytherin. 

Not a hatstall that chose one over the other but a tried and true child of Salazar. A child that was intrigued by dark arts. A child that walked hand in hand with those that would go on to fight for Tom in this war. 

Now Albus Dumbledore did not believe Snape to be a lost cause, already fallen head first into the intoxicating pull of Lord Voldemort. Unlike his housemates he was not raised with supremacist ideals nor did Albus believe Eileen would push him towards the man. Despite being in Slytherin she was always nice to anyone nice to her and incredibly unassuming. 

But the risk was still there. 

Many things in their world changed in recent years and despite their isolation, Hogwarts was not exempt. The divide between houses had only grown wider and students chose sides before they were even sorted. 

Albus took a sip from his tea and checked the time. It was well into the night, the headmaster and his deputy having started their search after completing their nightly duties. He stifled a yawn and turned another page. 

In the grand scheme of things, Snape should have been insignificant to that part of society. And yet, he was invited to the Black household. 

One of the privileges of old age was that Dumbledore taught generations of students at Hogwarts. For every current student, he taught their parents and for some even their grandparents. 

He had the privilege of teaching Walburga Black transfiguration which also meant he had the privilege of being told a half blood like him should be more respectful to his pureblood betters. Yes, Walburga was such a precocious eleven year old.

Orion was much the same, not bothering to listen to his charms professor because “how can a mudblood teach a pureblood anything about magic? I have more magic in my pinky than she does in her entire body.” Orion ended his first term at Hogwarts with a P in Charms and a failed attempt at showing his parents that he “really did learn his charms”. The young heir returned obedient and ready to learn in the new year, keeping his comments about the professor to the privacy of the dungeons. 

That being said, being the half blood son of an impoverished muggle and a disgraced runaway pureblood; Severus Snape should not even be able to say the name Regulus Black. 

The fact that they were close was already baffling but if Sirius could turn out the way he was, Regulus may also not share his parents extremist views on blood purity. At least when it came to halfbloods. 

While he knew that Snape was intelligent and excelled at magic, unless he was doing miracles the Blacks shouldn’t have allowed this. Either they changed their ways or someone influenced them. Knowing the Blacks, it had to be the latter. 

The only person Albus could think of that could convince the Blacks to welcome Severus into their home was the exact person Albus prayed for Snape to never meet. 

Albus knew Tom. As much as the man would say the Headmaster knew nothing of him nor his powers he knew Tom Riddle. One must investigate the enemy if they wished to defeat them and he spent many years researching Riddle’s mysterious past. 

A poor half blood with a muggle father and a disgraced pureblood mother. A poor boy with great magical talent, placed into Slytherin house where despite starting at the bottom of the pecking order was able to gain connection to heirs of powerful dark families. 

When Snape was sitting next to Lucius Malfoy at breakfast within three months of starting at Hogwarts, all he saw was Abraxus and Tom. For them to meet would be like handing Tom another version of himself, one he would undoubtedly take pleasure in moulding into the same being he was. No Albus would not, could not, allow this meeting to pass. 

“How did it even get to this?” Minerva sighed, turning another page of the school codes. How did it get to this indeed? By all accounts Severus Snape should be a complete outcast. Shunned by the school for being Slytherin, shunned by Slytherin for his blood and upbringing. 

At least that’s what people would assume. 

But Albus wasn’t ignorant. He saw the way Snape and his housemates were. While it was easy to write off the scion of dark families, one was always to remember that they were also children. Shaped by their upbringing but still children who laughed, played, and made friends. 

Though it took time and undoubtedly a handful of duels, Snape, one by one, collected his housemates as companions. And as for Regulus Black? Snape didn’t need to collect him. 

It wasn’t uncommon to find the younger Black brother trailing after Snape only weeks after arriving at Hogwarts. 

“I’ve found something we can use. School Code number 3918, Subsection B. Students must inform their Head of House of a change in holiday option more than 12 hours prior to departure, unless they have a signed statement from a guardian. As of now Mr. Snape is still marked as staying for the holidays,” McGonagall said tiredly. The pair had been at it for hours, trying to find any way to keep the young Slytherin at school.

“Excellent. I shall inform Horace to call Mr. Snape to my office at the start of breakfast tomorrow.” 

XX

Dumbledore put on his most serene expression as Severus Snape walked into his office. He certainly grew from when he first came to Hogwarts.

It wasn’t easy to forget Severus Snape. Long pitch black hair hiding a set of incredibly dark eyes. He was much shorter than every boy, and most girls, in his year and thin as a thestral. 

If he closed his eyes Albus could see Snape and Miss Evans holding hands as they ooh’d and ahh’d at the enchanted ceiling and floating candles. The way they whispered to each other with bright nervous smiles. 

He thought the boy a shoe-in for Hufflepuff then, especially when his friend went to Gryffindor. But no, within just ten seconds of the Sorting Hat being placed on his head, green and silver were spelled on to Snape’s threadbare robes. 

Albus blinked as Snape came closer. Matter of fact the teen looked quite different than he did yesterday at breakfast. Being the headmaster, Albus knew better than to think poorly of his students’ looks and economic standing; Hogwarts was open to all. 

But Albus also knew well the signs of poverty, spending most of his early years trying to keep his family above it. 

Severus still had the same worn robes and ratty knit wear on but Albus took note of his appearance. His hair was in a better state, washed and trimmed. His skin had lost its yellow pallor. It seemed some cleaning up was in order, purebloods were still a picky lot. 

“You asked for me, Headmaster?” Snape said plainly. 

“Yes Severus, I noticed you appear to be dressed to leave Hogwarts? As far as we were aware you were staying for Christmas holiday,” Dumbledore said. 

“Oh,” Snape said, eyes slightly widened, “I was invited to someone’s residence this year so I decided to leave the castle. I didn’t think that was an issue,” Snape said with a bit of reluctance, “Is it an issue?”

“Well my boy,” Albus ignored how Snape cringed, “There is a deadline for changing your option. We do require a signed statement from one of your guardians before we can allow you to leave the school at this time. It is a liability issue, I do hope you understand.” 

Dark eyes narrowed as Snape studied him but Albus did not falter. This wasn't the first or last time he would endure Snape’s scrutiny. As his lips parted to speak, Dumbledore beat him to the punch. 

“School Code 3918, Subsection B. I’ve had many years to memorise all of Hogwarts rules and regulations, my boy. If you can get us a statement by the end of the day, I will personally escort you to wherever you need to go.” Snape nodded solemnly. 

“Is that all Headmaster? If so, I'd like to go unpack.” 

“Yes Mr. Snape.  Ah, and do make sure to appear for Christmas dinner. Hagrid was quite upset you skipped last year,” Dumbledore replied with a smile. Perhaps today he saved Snape from a horrible fate, or maybe he only delayed the inevitable. Either way, Tom and Severus would not be meeting this Christmas.

“What do you mean you can’t go?!” Regulus exclaimed. It was all set up and everything. He spent weeks corresponding with Kreacher so the elf knew exactly where (the guest room across the hall from his room of course) and how (muted earth tones, softest sheets, fireplace always flickering, lavender sprigs throughout the room) Severus’ guest room was to be. 

“School rules Regulus. I doubt even Slughorn knows about this one but according to the Headmaster, I decided to leave too late. Give your parents my apologies,” Snape said with a shrug as he took a sip from his tea cup. This was a disaster. 

“But isn’t there anything we can do? There has to be! People have last minute plans all the time?” 

Snape frowned, his cute pink lips tilted downward, “Dumbledore said if he had a written statement from one of my guardians by the end of the day, then he would take me wherever I needed to go himself. We both know I’m not getting one of those in time.” 

Regulus deflated. Yes, Snape would never get one of those in time. His disgusting father didn’t even allow them an owl so poor Ms. Eileen could only send her son a letter whenever she could find the money to send it through the muggle post.  

They’d never get a statement in time. 

“It’s not that bad Regulus. Maybe we can try again in the spring.” But the spring wasn’t Yule! He had so many plans, so many ways he could make Snape fall for him. 

He already plotted with Kreacher to make Snape’s en suite bathroom malfunction so he had no choice but to use the one Regulus used to share with Sirius. He could see it now, the two of them relaxed in the baths surrounded by chamomile and mint that Kreacher added to the water. A soothing potion as well to help Severus relax. 

He’d pretend he wasn’t peeking at Snape until it came time for him to nonchalantly ask if the older teen needed help scrubbing his back. And then he would get to rub soap all over- 

“What was that?” Regulus said when he realised Snape was waiting for a response. 

“I said give this to Malfoy. He’ll probably send them back but still,” Severus said, dropping a shrunken package in his hand. 

“Malfoy! That’s it Sev!” Regulus said before making a motion for Snape’s satchel. The older teen allowed it, watching him carefully as he pulled out the necessary supplies.  He didn’t have time to write something long of drawn out, just a simple, straightforward message: 

Lucius,

Dumbledore is keeping Sev at school, he needs parental permission to leave, written. Get it.

-Regulus

He’s sure his soon to be cousin-in-law would understand the lack of proper etiquette. 

“I’ll see you later, Severus, at my house!” Regulus exclaimed before bolting up and taking off.

An owl would travel way faster than the train and if he sent off a letter now then Malfoy could have Snape out of Hogwarts before dinner. 

Rushing out of the Great Hall, Regulus collided with someone else. 

“Terribly sor- oh,” Regulus said with his lip curled back. Contrary to popular belief, Regulus did not hate James Potter the most out of the Marauders. One would suspect since Potter “stole” his brother away, he would be the main one to earn his ire followed closely by his idiot older brother. But no. 

“Regulus,” Lupin replied in surprise.  

Remus Lupin was the worst thing that ever happened to him. He’ll never forget the day, third year, his first Hogsmeade weekend, already ruined because Severus fell ill.  He thought himself a genius. He’d buy Snape ginger candy and fancy tea and it’d be a fast track to his senior’s affections. Just to walk in and see Snape laughing with him over a game of chess. He should’ve stayed to take care of Severus so that he didn’t need to go to the infirmary. Stupid Regulus, stupid! 

After that he caught Lupin around Snape all the time. Always hovering like an annoying bug, waiting for everyone to leave before he approached Severus. If Regulus just so happened to forget that day’s potion lesson and begged Severus to reteach him, well it’s not his fault Lupin was too much of a coward to approach him then. 

The corner table in the back of the library was supposed to be their spot anyway! Severus didn’t even bring Evans there because she liked to sit by the door. But no Lupin got to sit there, next to Sev at that! That was his seat. 

What his brother and Potter did to Snape the next year was awful but it did ensure that whatever was budding between Severus and that cur rotted worse than a hag's leftovers.  It’s not like he let Snape go unavenged either. Regulus took great pleasure in convincing Kreacher to help him pull a prank of his own on the four of them. To this day no one knows who tampered with the Marauders breakfast on the last day of term causing them to puke all over each other on the train. 

And if Lupin had it the worst out of the four of them, well that was just Kreacher being attentive to his master’s emotions. 

“Don’t speak my name vermin.” Regulus sneered before getting up. As he tried to continue on his walk, Regulus couldn’t help but notice the Gryffindor was too distracted by something behind him. 

Looking back, Regulus growled.

Severus could be so very enticing when he was distracted. Even more so after what Evan did to him yesterday. His slender hand pushed his bouncy hair back out of his dark eyes as he tried to focus on his book despite the excited ruckus of breakfast.  The same eyes that always caught the light just enough for deep brown to reflect, ruining the illusion of pitch black voids only to tempt you with rich brown pools.

How many people could be so utterly captivating by just reading?  

Regulus was supposed to be the only one privy to these things. And yet here Lupin was, unabashedly watching his Severus. Cheeks stained pink and eyes all wide and soft. Disgusting cretin. 

“Keep your eyes to yourself Lupin, or don’t,” Regulus snorted, “This is the last you’re seeing of Severus until the New Year.” His words snapped the Gryffindor out of his staring, causing those golden green eyes to look at him instead. 

“Snape always stays for the holidays,” Lupin stated very, very matter of fact. A stern frown on his lips. 

“He won’t this time,” Regulus said, clenching the letter in his fist, “I’m making sure of it.” He already wasted enough time on the worm. Nose in the air, he ignored the yelp from Lupin as he stepped on the Gryffindor’s hand and walked to the owlery. 

The owlery was not his, or anyone’s, favourite place in school. It stank first and foremost. Even when students had to clean it during detention it would only remain nice and tidy for all of one hour before the owls resumed defecating everywhere. 

Making sure to avoid any messes on the floor, Regulus made his way to Barnaby. The large black owl always carried an air of confidence, as if saying it was ready for anything. 

“I need you to get this to Lucius Malfoy as fast as you can Barney. My entire winter holiday is at stake here.” After feeding the owl a small treat and stroking its beak a few times, Regulus watched him bolt off into the morning sky. He needed this to work or his entire holiday was ruined. 

“What did you mean you’re making sure of it?” 

Regulus sneered as he turned. Lupin’s face was flushed from exertion and pulled into the most intimidating look he could offer. No wonder he always needed Sirius to back him up, he was a boy dressing up as a man. 

“Didn’t I tell you not to stick your nose into the business of me and mine?” 

“Snape isn’t yours,” Remus answered darkly, his eyes almost gleaming as he spoke, “If he was you wouldn’t be so jealous.” 

“I’m jealous?” Regulus asked lightly. He stalked towards the prefect, taking note of his clenched fists. He never did notice how large Lupin’s hands were, nor his arms. 

“What would I have to be jealous of? Severus is my best friend, he adores me. He may not love me the way I love him but it’s only a matter of time really. You on the other hand,” he said, jabbing a finger right into Lupin’s prefect badge, “Have a lot to be jealous of. On his best days, Sev tolerates you. That’s it. He doesn’t like you, at all.”

Lupin looked down, frown deepening as his shoulders shook. Was he about to cry? It wasn’t anyone’s fault the prefect couldn’t handle hearing the truth. 

“Wasn’t it your mates that ruined your little friendship with him? I wasn’t there but I heard quite well how you did absolutely nothing while Potter exposed Sev’s undergarments to an entire crowd. Too busy collecting wank material, Lupin?” 

With a growl, Remus shoved the younger teen up against the owlery wall, his face drawn into an animalistic grimace. His canines were almost too sharp as Lupin’s lips curled in a snarl. Grey eyes widened as those large fists gripped his robes, strong arms pinning him in place. 

“L-let go of-“

“Shut the fuck up Regulus,” Lupin spat out his name like it disgusted him to say it, his voice dripping venom. The Slytherin tried to avert his gaze but much as he wanted to look away those glowing golden eyes wouldn’t allow it. They stared straight into his soul.

“I know I fucked up but I’m fixing it. We both know that Severus will come around eventually. That’s why your so fucking desperate to tie him up with you and your lot. Just know when he’s where he belongs I’ll make sure he stays far away from you.” 

He couldn’t breathe, either from shock or from the way Lupin’s hands were pressing into his chest. Fear, one so primal, so instinctual, gripped his heart in its clawed hand. Any sudden movements and the beast before him would tear him to shreds. 

And in an instant, the moment was over. Lupin ripped away from him like he burnt himself. The idiot then stared at his own hands as if they had a mind of their own and decided to jack someone up against the wall without asking his permission first. Without a word, the Gryffindor turned and bolted, nearly slamming into the wall in his haste to escape. 

“Fucking hell,” Regulus whispered as he slid down the wall, his school robes be damned.

Puberty is an embarrassing and sometimes rather awful experience for most people. Acne, mood swings, hormones out of whack, not to mention all the weird little quirks along the way. Remus went through puberty as well like all other growing children however, no one ever warned him that when he hit puberty, the wolf did too. 

As the wolf matured, Remus’ senses became sharper. Better vision, better hearing, better sense of smell. His friends thought it was awesome that he could tell what Peter ate for dinner last night from the smell of his burp. They thought it was less awesome when he puked from smelling James and Sirius after a tough quidditch match. 

The closer it got to the full moon, the worse it affected him. While he learnt to ignore his heightened senses he couldn’t ignore his mind. Everything was coated with a werewolf veneer. Where he’d usually be happy to share, even allow his friends to snag a sausage off his plate, now the thought of any of them touching his stuff made him want to snap and growl. 

It all came to a head when they played a prank. He should’ve realised it then that Snape meant something to him. If he didn’t take off towards the infirmary the second he watched the giant bubble of water burst above Severus, it wouldn’t have been pretty. 

With the way he shredded up the bed in the private hospital room, he could only imagine what he would’ve done to his friends. 

He was only thirteen then and just like he learnt to control the other awkward things of puberty he learnt to keep the wolf back. 

Well until today. 

“Moony we’ve been looking all over for you? We wanted to say bye before we left,” James called from down the hallway. 

Remus turned away from his friends and took a few deep breaths, the last thing he wanted was for them to feel bad for him and want to stay. 

As selfish as it was, he needed this time with Severus. As much as he loved them, his friends were liabilities to his plan. James pissed him off, Sirius annoyed him and Peter was a complete non-starter. They were trying, truly, but a few weeks of kindness weren’t enough to erase years of unwarranted harassment. 

Once they were gone it could be just like fourth year again. He would meet Snape in the back of the library, both of them working on their holiday homework. They’d lean into each other, close enough for him to feel Severus’ body heat and catch the scent of chamomile from his breath. 

They’d whisper about all sorts of things for hours on end. Once more, he’d have those eyes only on him; once more, Snape’s eyes would crinkling in mirth at all his bad jokes. 

Unless Regulus really meant what he said. 

“Remus are you alright?” Came Sirius’ voice from beside him. Looking at his friend, Remus couldn’t help but feel guilt gnawing at him. As much of a twat Regulus was, Sirius wouldn’t want his brother to be treated that way. He felt even more guilty for the words that were about to come out of his mouth. 

“Sirius, I think you need to go home to your family.” 

“What? Why?” Sirius yelled, shock all over his face. 

“I just ran into Regulus, he was sending a letter off and said that he was making sure Snape wouldn’t stay for the holidays. He just seemed so sure. It could be nothing but…”

“It could also be everything, fuck me. Moony your first kid better be named Sirius,” the other teen groaned.

“Middle name maybe,” Remus said sympathetically. 

“Here,” James said before shoving a small item into Remus’ hand, “It’s my two way mirror. Pads has the other, use it to tell us if Snape’s left the castle. No point in Padfoot going back there if he’s not there.” 

“I knew you had a brain under all that hair Prongs,” Sirius laughed before getting shoved playfully. 

“Thank you, you’re the best mates anyone could ask for,” Remus said with a smile. Despite the slip up, it was truly amazing how fast his friends turned around with Snape. 

He definitely expected to have to fight them on it for at least the rest of sixth year. 

“Yeah, yeah, go get your snake,” Sirius said.

Chapter Text

It should be a blessing. A sign from the universe that it was looking out for him. Despite little experience, Severus was not ignorant to matters of the heart. He had a girl as a best friend, one with an older sister at that, so he didn’t have much of a choice when it came to partaking feminine things. Whether it was attempting manicures or playing in Tuney’s makeup, he joined in because that’s what Lily wanted to do and they were at her house. 

While he didn’t enjoy the majority of it, those romance novels had a hold on him. He can’t help it if it's good entertainment. Some of them were really well written. 

That being said, he knew what a romance looked like or better yet what a lot of women wanted as romance. It’s exactly why Potter never got Lily to like him, instead of focusing solely on her, he focused on what he thought was an obstacle in his way. Now that obstacle is gone and he still doesn’t have the girl, how funny. Maybe he should’ve used his bloated allowance on flowers instead of dungbombs. 

One summer, they read all of Jane Austen’s works and though most of the societal norms that were observed and criticised in them were bygone nonsense to muggles, wizards still played by some of those rules.

Regulus inviting him over is the beginning of the end. Meeting the family is always the last stage before a man proposes. If he found favour with the Blacks and was pulled into the Dark Lord’s service then being with Regulus would be inevitable. 

It’d be stupidly dangerous to reject him before all those purebloods. Even if they’ll call him an uppity half blood for marrying above his station, he’d be a wretched, ungrateful half blood to not accept a marriage offer from someone of Regulus’ standing. 

He rather be uppity than ungrateful, especially when it came to the Blacks. They’d probably cut his head off and put it next to their elves for his disrespect. 

He should be happy that Dumbledore pulled that rule out his arse. He should be relieved. 

And yet…

As much as he preferred the castle to his own house, that didn’t mean he wanted to spend every holiday here. Muggle holidays never meant much as a kid, they didn’t have money for presents, decorations, or even a decent meal. 

If they were lucky the church or the school would give them a ham or chicken for Christmas but they wouldn’t really have much else to go with it other than some bread and whatever pickled veg his mum grew in her garden and canned. 

While he could do without all the muggle stuff, he couldn't do without the magical ones. His mum made him observe them all from Imbolc to Yule. They usually did their celebrations away from Tobias’ eyes and it was the only time his mother did magic anymore. 

 No one at Hogwarts really observed them. Even the purebloods of Slytherin barely did anything for Samhain or Imbolc and they were usually home for the other holidays. 

He knew the Blacks would observe Yule, a traditional Yule. The kind from his mother’s childhood. The kind that made her eyes sparkle. Severus would watch his mother come to life in a way she never did any time else. She’d paint a masterpiece with her words, bringing him into her memories of the past. Her hands would envelop his own as she walked him through the rites and rituals. Even if it was just for a few hours, Severus felt like for once he was talking to Eileen, not Mrs. Snape. 

He hasn’t seen Eileen in years and Mrs. Snape looked worse every time he returned home. 

Regulus was persistent and The Dark Lord already knew of him, the only thing Yule with the Blacks would do is speed up the train wreck his life was already becoming. 

Would it be so bad to have one good Yule before it all went to shit? 

Either way, it didn’t matter now, the train departed hours ago taking his chance at Yule with him. He should be focusing on the positives, at least he finished half his winter assignments. 

It was already late afternoon and despite his reputation, he did enjoy getting out in the sun and fresh air. He needed time to clear his head before he’s forced to be in Lupin’s presence as well. Merlin knows the werewolf would sit next to him with Dumbledore abolishing House seating for the holiday and honestly being bothered was the last thing he wanted. 

Remus Lupin was…confusing. Severus could swear he hates him all he wants but he knows the truth. When he thought of Lupin he was confused. It was easier to hate him before the incident. 

He may have suspected Lupin’s lycanthropy for a while but it wasn’t until that night that he truly thought about what it meant. Lupin was a werewolf and Severus prided himself on being above common ignorance so he couldn’t hate him because of that fact. He knew muggle depictions of tortured souls fearing the moon was closer to the plight of actual werewolves than the psychotic, cannibalistic, feral beast that wizards framed them to be. 

Fear of the curse became hate for the man and werewolves like Greyback only exasperated things. People like Lupin, well they get the short end of an already rotten stick. Maybe if the circumstances were different, maybe if Lupin was a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff they could at least be friends. But that wasn’t the reality they lived in and there was no point in thinking of possibilities when he had real life to worry about. Lupin was Lupin and he was Snape and that was all there was. 

Snape got up and stretched, it had been a couple of hours since he started working his way through his assignments and that meant he earned himself a break. If he was careful enough, he could probably make it outside and take a walk around the grounds without Lupin spotting him. 

Pulling on his cloak, Snape walked through the mostly empty dormitory. Slytherin House was always the emptiest during the holidays. Most of the students in his house had access to libraries and labs so the upperclassmen did not face the same dilemma when it came to having Hogwarts’ resources when studying or going without for the holidays. 

As he made his way out of the dungeons he kept his head on a swivel and footsteps light. Lupin could be a sneaky bastard when he wanted to and he refused to be caught unaware. As he made his way outside, he passed a couple of students. While many in the school had issues with him, it seemed his “wild day out with the lads” did something to rehabilitate- ruin- his image. People smiled at him now. 

Gross.

Outside was deserted and for good reason. The wind was cutting through his threadbare cloak, sending a chill straight to his bones. If he wasn’t already set on taking this walk he would have gone right back inside. Maybe if it was snowing on top of the wind he would have. With a swirl of his wand, he casted a warming charm on himself and pushed ahead. 

The snow crunched underfoot as he made his way around the school grounds. While he hated many things about this place, he could not deny Hogwarts’ beauty. Everything was coated in a blanket of white and if he paid attention he could see snow sprites darting around. If he went near the Forbidden Forest, he knew he could see more and if he went to the Unicron Clearing he could watch the foals playing in the snow. Maybe he could stay there instead for the duration of the holiday. 

Snape shook his head, Lupin can't be that bad that he’s considering sleeping on the forest floor. As he passed by the entrance to the school grounds, he heard the distinct crackle of apparition and turned to see a man walking towards the school. He was too far to make out any distinct features other than his long dark robe and fair hair. 

Maybe one of the professors had guests for the holiday, it wouldn’t be the first time. Last year McGonagall’s niece visited, though just for Christmas dinner. 

After a few more minutes of trudging in the snow, Snape decided that was enough for one day. The waterproofing charm he casted on his shoes only lasted so long. As he made it inside the castle the first snowflakes began to fall and the wind only picked up in speed. Looks like he was right on time. 

Checking the nearest clock, it was still an hour until dinner. Maybe he should get started on his letters. Even though he was too poor to buy gifts, he still wrote his well wishes to Lucius and Narcissa each year. They’d probably skin him alive if he didn’t. 

“Severus!” Snape flinched as he heard his name called. He was almost home free, the dungeons were within his sight. Turning around he came face to face with the timid smile of one Remus Lupin. 

“Lupin,” Snape replied.

”I was wondering if you’d like to play a game of chess after dinner tonight? Gryffindor’s pretty empty so no one would fuss if you came up there and it’s really cozy,” Remus started before he noticed Snape’s frown, “O-or in the library if that would make you more comfortable or even your common room!”

“I think we both know my common room is out of the question Lupin,” Snape sighed, “And I have plans after dinner.”

”We can do our assignments together! And I’m not bad at potions,” Snape raised a brow, “I’m not hopeless. You said so yourself. I could help with your projects or I can keep you company. I won’t get in the way and-”

”Lupin, if I sit next to you at dinner, will you stop pestering me until Christmas?” That was at least 48 hours without being bothered. 

”Will you actually talk to me or just sit there?” Remus asked with a pout. Pathetic little puppy. 

“I will speak to you. I’ll even laugh at your dumb jokes.” Lupin smiled at him before nodding. 

“I’ll see you later then!” Remus said before taking off. 

Snape sighed and leaned against the wall for a moment. Thankfully it was free of green sludge or he’d spend the next hour trying to scrub it out of his robes. Walking to the common room door, he whispered the password and entered. Alone at last.

Until an elf popped in. 

“Mister Snapey is needed by the Headmaster right now this minute!” The elf said before making its way towards him. House elves were not the most beautiful creatures. Honestly, Severus thought they looked like aliens from those weird science fiction shows Lily made him watch. He always thought, no matter how well they were treated, they always looked pitiful. 

”Why?” Snape asked. The elf looked at him, big eyes widening even more with fear.

”The bad man is here for Mister Snapey. Mister Snapey should be very careful.” 

“What bad m-” 

Apparition sucked. His body felt like it had just been pulled through a thin tube and then forcefully reshaped back into his original form. If he hadn’t skipped lunch he bet he would’ve lost it right now. Not bothering to thank the elf for almost killing him, Snape leaned against the wall and glared at it. 

“What bad man?” Snape asked again, glaring at the shaking elf.

”Pinky not supposed to talk bad about guests but he’s a bad man! Pinky knows! Pinky didn’t mean to listen but Pinky heard hims sayings he’s gonna take Mr. Snapey from school! Headmaster is not happy!” 

Take him from school? Regulus may have sent an owl this morning but there was no way that Lucius would be here that fast? Stomach settled, the teen pushed off the wall and began his journey up the spiral staircase. If Lucius did manage to pick him up then he could at least try and look a bit more presentable. First, he tucked his shirt in, the “correct” way as his friend so often nagged him to. He then released his hair from the haphazard ponytail he put it in and brushed it out with his fingers. He shoved the front pieces out of his face as well, lest Lucius tease him for hiding his new appearance. 

Minding his manners, Snape knocked on the door and waited until he heard the Headmaster call him in. 

“Good evening,” Snape said. Or more so it was all he could say. His tongue refused to move and his lips pressed shut in an instant. Lucius was not here to pick him up.

“Why don’t you take a seat child, we have one last issue to discuss with the headmaster before you’re allowed to leave. The elves are packing up your belongings as we speak.” Severus moved with all the grace of a robot before taking a seat next to Abraxas Malfoy. 

This was not how their first meeting was supposed to go. Not at all. He was supposed to be dressed in those stupidly posh robes and pulled in front of the man by Lucius. He was supposed to say a few stilted words while being appraised like a show dog and Lucius would do the rest. He wasn’t supposed to be here alone with the damn man! 

Abraxas was tall, taller than Lucius and just as broad. His whitening hair was shorter than his son’s, pulled back into a sleek shoulder length ponytail that was held with a green ribbon. 

His face lost the softness of youth, all hard edges and jutting angles with the slightest wrinkles near his eyes and mouth. 

“Now Headmaster, I have given you the proper document and it is getting close to dinner time. We both know Walburga despises tardiness so it would be greatly appreciated if I can get Severus to Grimmauld Place as soon as possible.” 

Snape had never seen the Headmaster look so tense. His  brows were drawn together, wrinkles appearing on his forehead. His usually smiling lips were downturned in a stern frown. 

“My boy, if you could please take a look at this note, I just need to confirm with you that this is your mother’s handwriting,” Dumbledore said before passing the note to him.

I, Eileen Snape, give my son, Severus Snape, permission to leave Hogwarts for the full duration of the winter holiday and spend it with the Black Family. Please do not send any owls for follow up questions, my husband does not enjoy them.

Eileen Snape

Snape blinked and reread the note. There was no mistaking the handwriting, he’d known his mother’s elegant script anywhere. But how the hell did Malfoy pull this off? How did he know where they lived? He never told anyone about Spinner’s End, he barely even mentioned Cokeworth at all! No one wanted to hear about his muggle father nor his poor little muggle neighbourhood. 

“This is my mother’s handwriting,” He said, heart racing. Abraxas went to his house. He saw the dirty hovel with his own two eyes. Evidence of his poverty and sordid background. He saw his mother, once a pureblood heiress now a destitute shell of a woman. He met Mrs. Snape. 

He may have even seen fath-

“Well, if everything is in order then we must be going. Now where is that elf?” As if summoned, Pinky appeared with Severus' shrunken trunk, his shrunken school bag and his potion collection bag, at regular size. Taking the items he shoved them in his pockets before donning his bag. If either of the elders had anything to say about it, they didn’t voice it. 

“Please be careful Mister Snapey,” Pinky murmured before popping away. Severus was deathly quiet as the pair descended the steps. What could he even say? Sorry you got soot and grime on your dragon leather boots? I hope no one tried to rob you when you got to my neighbourhood? Please excuse my father’s behaviour, he's mentally unwell? 

“I expect that your grades are still up to par? Top of your year, correct? A friend of mine at the ministry was kind enough to share your OWL scores with me and I must say I am impressed. Almost all Os with an EE in transfiguration,” Abraxas said. His voice was light and unrestrained. It felt more like he was talking to a close acquaintance or a neighbour rather than some random kid his son picked up from the gutter. 

“The subject is more difficult for wizards with certain strengths. If I recall your wand is good for duelling, we’ll have to put your skills to the test.” 

Snape couldn’t focus as the man prattled, only nodding and saying “yes sir” where it seemed to fit. 

“Sickle for your thoughts Severus?” The man asked as they made it outside the building. The wind blew viciously as snow fell in large, heavy clumps. Warmth filled Severus as the older man flourished his hand over both of them. 

”My mother, was she well? Um she tends to get sick in the winter.” It’s not like he could say anything else. Oh Mr. Malfoy I hoped you enjoyed your refreshments. Yes the warm half empty bottle of beer and whatever his mum was able to scrounge up with the five pounds she had for grocery shopping must’ve filled you right up. And I do hope the lack of heat made you feel right at home. Tell me did my father call you a freak,  a demon, or both? 

“I did not meet with your mother Severus. I had an elf copy her handwriting from one of the old letters I had from her.” 

“What- sorry- excuse me,” Severus interrupted himself, his cheeks increasingly reddening, “You and my mother exchanged letters?”

Abraxas smiled at him, albeit a small one, “Yes. Eileen and I were friends. I can admit it now, in my advanced age, that my talents did not lie in potions. Without her help my father would have sent me to a potions seminary for the summer instead of Crete. She was brilliant. Even when she decided to explore the muggle world she still wrote to me. Sadly her last correspondence was through the muggle post telling me to stop sending owls, something about her muggle husband not liking them.” 

Severus bowed his head, eyes focusing on the snow covered ground. 

“You were born then, I didn’t receive a photograph but she told me about you, her little Severus. A shame that she didn’t take my offer.”

”Your offer?” Snape asked, head snapping up.

”I knew there was something wrong with the muggle. He was worse than the other ones and I could feel her fear of him in her correspondence. I offered her an out. She may not have been welcome home immediately but at the very least I could set her up in the manor. Be it pride, loyalty, or love she chose to stay. After that, we never spoke again.”

Severus forced his legs to keep going, if he stopped he would collapse. His mother chose to stay. Even Abraxas could tell Tobias was demented and she chose to stay. She stayed and doomed them both to a life with that man. He tried to force the revelation into his subconscious but for once his little trick wasn’t working. She had an out. She could’ve left. Everything they suffered was her fau-

“I don’t understand,” Snape whispered. And he didn’t. All the times Tobias had raised a voice or worse- a hand- to them. Was he nicer then? Obviously not if Malfoy begged her to leave. 

”Being away from our world for so long, perhaps she thought her marriage contract was still active and sought to avoid it. Though I do believe Edward would’ve adopted you as well. He was smitten with your mother.”

“Edward, sir?”

“Oh Lord Nott. I believe his son is a year ahead of you. Yes he was betrothed to your mother since they were children, pity Eileen never took to him.”

“Can’t you get in trouble for something like that? She broke a contract.” He heard about magical contracts before and how horrible it could be to break one. You could lose wealth, status, property, your life. Your magic even! 

“Edward loved her too much to cage her. It left him broken but he let her go. Married someone his parents chose and moved on as best he could. He sent her countless owls however, begging her to at least return to Prince Manor. He adored your grandfather and the poor man was left in such a state after your mother left.” 

Severus never put much thought into the magical side of his family. His mother only ever mentioned the Princes vaguely even when he asked her about them directly. They were an old and small family. Wealthy but not on the level of the Malfoys or the Blacks. 

 He always assumed it was because they weren’t good people. He knew how awful purebloods could be and if his mum was interested in muggles then of course they’d be at odds. 

Then again he always assumed his mother was like him. Unpopular, lonely, and hated by her father. While his father hated him for magic, his grandfather hated her for her mundane interest. It always made sense, why else would she cling to Tobias if not because he was all she had? If she had friends in the wizarding world, why didn’t they stop her from leaving? 

Eileen was a victim of circumstance. Naive, lonely, and trusting. Being with Tobias had to be a better alternative than her life in the wizarding world because his mother wasn’t stupid enough to choose a man like that if that wasn’t her only option. Without Tobias she’d be destitute in a world she didn’t understand and no one to turn to. 

But that wasn’t true.

The pair continued their walk until they were beyond the school gates. Abraxas held out his arm and after a moment of consideration, Snape took it. 

“Do hold on, it will be a bit unpleasant.”

With a sharp crack the pair blinked out of existence. 

It was even worse the second time. Still thankful for his empty stomach, Severus forced himself to stay upright and continue walking. 

“You’ll get used to it after a few times. Apparition is an important skill but it’s both dangerous and unpleasant to learn.”

“Yes, sir,” Severus muttered. Looking around, the teen realised they were not in a residential area, instead in Diagon Alley.

“Sir, I thought we were going to be late,” Snape said apprehensively. 

“Oh of course not, the train doesn’t arrive for another 90 minutes. In the meantime, we need to run a few errands. Your wardrobe leaves much to be desired.” 

“There’s no need, Lucius already provided me with clothes for the ball sir,” Severus said as his face flushed. 

“And what of tonight’s dinner, or tomorrow’s breakfast? You’re not dense Severus, Lucius was more than willing to fetch you from school. Why do you think I came in his stead?”

Snape wanted to shrug but after being hit with a mild stinging hex by Narcissa for his “awful habit” he knew better than to do it. 

“You have accomplished a lot despite your blood and your status, Severus. More than any other in your position can hope to achieve. Do you think the Dark Lord wants to meet you because we asked him to?”

“I assumed I was brought up in conversation somehow,” Snape answered carefully. Truthfully he thought all of Lucius’ bragging about his halfblood wonder made the Dark Lord curious. That eventually he’d meet him and be deemed worthy enough for a small role in his plans. Preparing potions or something. 

“Severus, the Dark Lord was the one who brought forth your name.”

“What?!” Fuck keeping composure. 

“He is very invested in you, though I can only assume why. He questioned us on you and Lucius’ first task was bringing you to meet him.”

Shocked didn’t even begin to describe his feelings. The Slytherin searched Abraxas’ face for even the slightest hint of a lie. It didn’t make any sense, he never published any of his potion improvements nor did he show off his spells. The Dark Lord had no reason to know about him and yet Abraxas’ face was shockingly open. 

“I don’t understand, I’m no one.”

“You’ll find that many think the same. But in the end what they think does not matter.”

“Only what he thinks matters,” Snape responded. 

“Precisely. Now Narcissa already passed along your measurements so this will only be a fitting and pick up. It isn’t much.”

Severus hated rich people sometimes. There were many reasons but the number one being that they didn’t live in reality. Abraxas told him that they weren’t picking up too many items and yet the amount of shoes he was given was more than he’d owned in his entire life.

There were dozens of outfits, each carefully crafted from material that he was too poor to concern himself with. He couldn’t even afford regular silk let alone acromantula silk. 

Severus worried at his lower lip, picking off tiny pieces of dried skin. His uniform was shrunken and put in his bag as he was encouraged to change into one of his newer outfits. At the very least, they fit his preferred style. Dark colors, simple designs, no frills. Surveying his options, Snape’s hands immediately grabbed the all black set. Thinking back on his lessons, he didn’t remember any taboos about colours to wear when visiting someone. He put the set down, grabbing the green one beside it instead. Can’t go wrong with that one.

Judging by the approving look Abraxas gave him, he must’ve chosen right. 

Another reason Severus hated rich people was that they spent money like it was nothing. With each ding of the till, Severus’ eyes grew wider and wider. 

40 galleons for his shoes, 60 galleons for a shirt! His heart rate climbed with the total, until it reached a jaw dropping sum of 560 galleons and change. 

“Severus, all you have to do to repay me is keep achieving. Consider this an investment from the Malfoy family.”

“Yes, sir.” Purebloods were supposed to be…not like this. He was prepared for a more extreme version of what he went through in first year. He was prepared for backbiting, for thinly veiled insults and high expectations. All the lessons he did with Lucius and Narcissa were necessary armour to ensure he wouldn’t be looked down upon. He was supposed to spend all this time trying to prove himself just for Abraxas Malfoy to take him out for shopping and tea.  

“Thank you sir, for everything,” Severus said, keeping his head down. They sat outside a cafe, two cups of steaming tea between them.

“It’s of little consequence, though I must ask that you forgive me for overstepping,” Abraxas said as he reached into his pocket. He brought out a velvet purple bag closed by a golden chain and handed it to Snape, “It is usually the parents’ job to present this gift to their child upon their 17th birthday, though I doubt yours will. Since your birthday is after the start of term, I decided to give it to you now.”

The bag was heavy in Severus’ hand as he opened it. He already knew what it was but even with the weight in his hand, he still couldn’t imagine it. Purebloods weren’t known to give freely, even folk giving to charity had its purpose. Abraxas may have told him the clothes were an investment but getting him a coming of age present was too sentimental for that. 

This was more akin to currying favour or ensuring loyalty. But his loyalty to Lucius was a given, for years now, there was no reason for this.

The watch was cool in his hand, textured with engravings. Removing it from the bag he turned it slowly, taking in each and every detail in awe. It was engraved with asphodels around its circumference and a cauldron in the center. He realised the engraving was enchanted as a snake peeked out from the cauldron and flicked its tongue out at him. 

Opening it he was met with a small picture of himself, Narcissa, and Lucius at Lucius’ graduation inside the cover. The clock face was ivory with obsidian Roman numerals and golden clock hands held in place by a small diamond.  

“Lucius and Narcissa aided in designing it. I hope it’s to your liking. Congratulations on becoming an adult Severus. I hope to see all you achieve in the future.” 

If Abraxas noticed him blinking away tears the older man didn’t mention it. 

“Thank you sir,” he whispered as he put the watch back in its pouch, “I won’t let you down.” 

Life wasn’t fair. That was on repeat in the mind of one James Potter for weeks. Ever since he told Sirius he kissed Snape he’d been worse than Lily was at making him leave him alone. Even a look that lasted “too long” was grounds for getting elbowed in the side or kicked in the shin. 

And now, Remus is that much closer to getting Snape. Though it usually isn’t wise to doubt the Malfoy family, even James didn’t think they could get a handwritten letter from some random witch in Cokeworth. James didn’t even know where Cokeworth was despite his past obsession with everything Evans. 

Snape was staying in the castle. Alone. With Remus. Remus with his puppy dog demeanour and everlasting persistence was bound to get Snape to warm up to him. And then Snape would spend another full moon with him and then they’d fall in love and get married and have babies and leave him to be miserable for the rest of his life! 

“You good mate?” Sirius asked from across the compartment. Without half their friend group it was just the duo occupying the space. Turns out train rides are boring when you don’t have four people to play a game with, Peter to go scare people in their compartments nor the ability to prank anyone. 

Their stunt at the beginning of the year- enchanting the exits with a clown nose jinx- earned them a stern lecture about proper train etiquette and meant no funny business on the train lest McGonagall flay them alive. 

Because of that, Sirius spent the last hour looking at magazines and trying random spells while James was deep contemplation. 

“Just thinking.”

“About Snape?”

“Ye- No! Hey!” James yelled when Sirius narrowed his eyes at him. It wasn’t like anyone could read his mind and find out what he was thinking about! And so what if he thought about Severus? He could think about anything he wanted; it was his mind! 

“I haven’t done anything to him or even talked to him!”

“I know. Just make sure it stays that way, if you don’t remember you already fucked up once,” Sirius said giving him a look. As much as Sirius pushed away from his family he surely kept the traits, nothing could make you feel smaller than the icy, condescending eyes of a Black. 

“Yeah whatever.” How could he forget? The one moment when everything made sense, when just a few seconds stretched out to eternity. He could’ve stayed just like that until he died and now he’ll never have the chance to do it again. 

Unless…

“If Snape still doesn’t like Remus by the end of seventh year is he fair game?” James ducked in time to dodge the spell heading straight for his head. 

“Sirius!”

“Don’t ‘Sirius’ me! Are you really asking me that? It’s about principle Prongs even if Snape doesn’t like Remus that doesn’t mean we all get a go at him! If I asked you that about Evans last year how would you feel?” 

James frowned. He would’ve tackled whoever said that, maybe even walloped them.

“But it’s different!” It really wasn’t. 

“James Fleamont Potter I swear,” Sirius growled, “If Snape doesn’t want Remus then we leave him alone. All of us. You don’t get to try and make a move. Besides, he hates you or are you suddenly forgetting everything we did?”

“He doesn’t hate Remus!”

“That’s different and you know it! Just leave him alone. Remus and Snape are probably a done deal anyway, there’s no one else around now.” 

And wasn’t that the worst. Remus and Snape alone. Together.

James groaned at the thought, falling back until he laid across the seat. It wasn’t fair. 

“Stop moping and change, we’re almost at the station anyway,” Sirius said as he stood up, “Look on the bright side with Snape staying at school, I won’t have to go back to my parents and we get to spend winter holiday together.” 

James struggled not to smile at that. He already has everything planned from their prank potion experiments to their muggle world excursion. His parents also promised to take them to Norway to see the Northern Lights on Christmas Eve. The elves would surely fill a basket with all their favourites to take with them and if they were lucky they’d get to see all kinds of winter creatures. 

With renewed vigor, James got up and changed as well. As much as he adores his house, wearing his school clothes got tiring and he much preferred his muggle jeans. Maybe when they made robes out of denim he’d wear them more often. 

As they pulled into the station, the pair collected all their items, haphazardly stuffing them into whatever trunk they could before closing and shirking them down. 

James turned to the open door only for Sirius to pull him back with a tense expression on his face. A moment later, Regulus and Rosier walked by and then a second after them the other Slytherins that Snape hung around also passed. 

“Close one. Good boy Padfoot,” James chuckled as Sirius elbowed him playfully. The pair then exited, wishing a good holiday to other students they knew as they made their way out of the train. 

“Wanna hide under the cloak? It’s gonna be a shitshow if your parents see you coming home with us.” Or at least James thought so. He had the unfortunate experience of hearing one of Walburga’s rants when he was fire-calling Sirius. Even through the floo she was as loud as a banshee and twice as shrill.

Sirius shook his head, “She wouldn’t make a scene in public. It’s unbecoming for a member of the ancient and noble House of Black to do so,” Sirius said with a snooty posh accent, “She’ll probably ignore me and disown me for real.” 

As they continued walking they paused, seeing Regulus rush into a train compartment with a dejected Rosier following. Mulicber rolled his eyes and made to get off the train only for Wilkes and Avery to each grab an arm and force him to stay still. 

“The hell was that about?” Sirius asked. The pair looked at each other quizzically, only turning back when they heard the car door slam open. 

Regulus stepped out with a nervous smile on his face, his hair going from a low ponytail to a fluffy mane of brushed out curls. 

Rosier chuckled as he tossed a mirror to Wilkes and the teen reluctantly held it up for the fifth year to study himself in. 

“I don’t know why you’re making a big deal out of it. You saw him this morning,” Mulicber lamented, still being held in place by a smirking Avery. 

“And I didn’t look like I’d been riding in a train for hours this morning,” Regulus said bitingly as he fixed how his hair fell for the fifth time. 

“You owe Lucius big Reg. Honestly, I didn’t expect him to pull that off, where does Snape even live?” 

Hearing the words the two Gryffindors flew into the compartment next to them and scrambled for the window. 

“Fucking hell,” James whispered in astonishment. Because on the platform stood Severus Snape. 

Severus Snape in what looked to be a deep conversation with Abraxas Malfoy and Sirius’ parents.

“Well this fucking sucks. I guess I’ll see Norway next year.” Sirius lamented before conjuring a robe to hide his muggle outfit. 

“I’m sorry mate,” James said. He meant it, truly he did. And he would miss his best mate this holiday, however a part of him was jumping for joy. This was a bloody Christmas Miracle! Snape wasn’t with Remus and Sirius would make sure to get between him and Regulus. Everything was looking up for him after all. 

“Padfoot? What’s wrong?” James flinched at the sound of Remus’ voice. Sirius held the mirror in his hand with a grim expression. 

“Malfoy got Snape out of school, we’re looking at him right now. Plan B is in effect.”

“WHAT?! Are you kidding?!  I just saw him two hours ago! He even agreed to eat dinner with me,” Remus cried. 

“I’m not kidding, I’m-“ It was now James’ turn to elbow his friend. He loved the guy but one can only hear the same joke so many times before it got stale. 

“Don’t worry I’ll keep Regulus from stealing your little snake away. I’ll talk to you later tonight, okay?” 

“Okay,” Remus sighed. Even in the tiny mirror a look of devastation was clear on his face.  It made James feel a little bad, Remus was his friend but he was also- unknowingly- his rival in love. 

“Have a good holiday Remus,” James said, attempting to tame his smile. He couldn’t look too happy at the situation after all. 

The pair walked off the train and with one last sigh, Sirius bid his friend goodbye and made the walk to his family. Judging from how Sirius’ parents froze upon seeing him, they weren’t expecting Sirius to come back either. 

“Poor lad, I’ve seen people happier to go to Azkaban.” James flinched at the voice behind him before breaking into a huge smile. 

“Dad! Mum!” 

“Hello Jimmy, let’s go home. Make sure you write to Sirius every other day, he’ll surely need it,” Mrs. Potter said as she wrapped her arms around her son. 

“I will!” How else was he supposed to make sure Regulus was being kept in check? 

Chapter Text

As if this day couldn’t get any worse. Severus held back a groan as the Black family recovered from shock. He may not be a gambling man but even Snape would throw down a few sickles if the stakes were that low. Sirius Black willingly returning to his family for the holidays? It was laughable to even consider it. 

From the moment they met, Sirius Black made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t like, and didn’t like, his family. He didn’t want to be in the same house they were in, he didn’t want to wear the clothes that they did, nor did he want the same connections they had. He didn’t even want to be called the same name they were called. 

As many jokes as he made about it, Regulus said Sirius resented being the third of his name. It meant that no matter what he was attached to the legacy of his family. A legacy that he hated with every fibre of his being. 

So why the hell was he standing with them on the platform? 

“Mother, Father, you look like you’ve seen a dementor,” Sirius said with a smirk. He then ruffled Regulus’ hair, much to the younger Black’s indignation. Severus turned when he heard a soft sigh next to him, just in time to catch Abraxas Malfoy rolling his eyes. Undignified, as Narcissa would say but even she would make an exception for this. 

“I will see you at the ball, Severus,” Abraxas said softly with a small smile, “Please do be careful. Check your bed before sleeping and your shoes before stepping into them,” he added with a not so subtle glance at Sirius. 

With a snap, the older wizard was gone, taking what was left of Snape’s confidence with him. Even if he knew the Blacks were intense, nothing could truly prepare you for the double grey gazes of Mr. and Mrs. Black. Even with Abraxas next to him, his image improved and his academic prowess preceding him, their eyes picked him apart. 

He was a prized mongrel before the judges. He strutted perfectly, looked up to par, and didn’t bark out of turn. But no amount of meticulous grooming and strict training could turn him into the purebred pup they were looking for.  

Well that’s how he felt anyway. Despite their frosty demeanour the pair was cordial. They asked after his health and complimented him on his grades. Walburga even did something close to a smile when he mentioned he liked to duel. 

Still, a mongrel was a mongrel even with a gold collar and a well known handler. Until Lucius and Narcissa arrived tomorrow for brunch he’d see how well they’d treat a stray in their home. 

“I’m glad you’re here Sev,” Regulus said as he bumped shoulders with Snape. Severus’ eyes flickered to the Black couple, fully expecting two annoyed glares but they weren’t even looking at him. 

No, the pair focused their attention on Sirius doing his best toddler impression. 

“What are we eating for dinner?” he asked petulantly, “It better not be-”

“You will eat whatever it is or you will not eat at all. You are far too old for this childish habit. Whether Kreacher prepares roast, wellington or stew, you will eat it or be sent to your room hungry. I will not have that behaviour, not now,” Walburga glowered. As much as Sirius tried to distance himself from them, he had the same exact glare as his mother.

“Whatever,” Sirius said before catching his eyes. A maniacal glint shone in his eyes, one that sent Snape’s heart to his stomach. 

“I can’t believe you brought Snape!” Sirius said before throwing himself on him. Snape yelped as he was forced to bear the weight of the Gryffindor. What the hell were they feeding them over there? Sirius weighed a ton.

Chancing a look at the Blacks again, Severus wanted nothing more than to throw the stupid mutt off of him. 

“I was not aware you two were…friendly,” Mr. Black said in trepidation. 

“We are n-”

“Sevvy and I are mending our relationship. It’s very long and complicated so I won’t bore you with the details,” Sirius said, arms still caging Snape in a hug. 

“I don’t think relentless harassment for years counts as a relationship of any kind,” Regulus said before yanking Sirius back by the collar. Snape chanced another look at the Black couple just to see two looks of resignation. 

“Sirius, I’m sure you remember the conditions of your return. Do stop molesting our guest,” Mr. Black said. All three teenagers frowned uncomfortably at the word choice. 

“Whatever, can we go?”

“Yes you petulant imp, now hold your mother’s hand.” Sirius looked at Walburga’s waiting hand and swallowed deeply. He shakily reached for it, going back and forth in hesitation. Growing tired of his antics, the woman just grabbed his hand only for Sirius to gasp and let out a painful yowl. 

“It burns!” He howled much to his family’s ire. Snape looked around to see the crowd on the platform trying to ignore them all. Either they were used to this nonsense or too afraid of the Blacks to be caught staring. 

“Will you stop that?! You are an adult Sirius,” Walburga hissed, her knuckles turning white as she gripped her son’s hand harder. Sirius pouted for all of one second before breaking out into another smirk. He quickly grabbed Snape’s hand and pulled him to his side leaving Regulus to hold on to Mr. Black. 

Snape closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose. Now that he had something in his stomach, he prayed it would stay there. Apparition truly was the worst. 

With a pop, the same nauseating compression squeezed Severus’ stomach but he could admit it was more manageable this time. They had popped right into the foyer and what greeted them there was a sight he wouldn’t forget. House elves were always odd looking but even he could admit some, very few, seldom any, were kinda cute. 

Not conventionally, but in a weird way like one of those ugly dogs with a gnarly underbite. But this elf was not one of those elves. He was old and his age showed very, very much. 

“Kreacher welcomes Mr. Severus Snape into the Master's home,” the elf said with a bow. Before he could say anything back, the elf was already snapping its fingers and ridding them of their outer robes and luggage. 

“Dinner has been prepared for the family,” Kreacher said, giving Severus one quick look before popping out of sight. Now he wasn’t an expert on elf behavior or anatomy, and the poor thing was wrinkled to hell but Snape swore they glared at him. 

“That’s Kreacher, he just needs to warm up to you,” Regulus whispered. Ah, so it was a glare then. 

The house was dark in both atmosphere and colour. Dark wood floors, black and grey wallpaper, low candle light. It was like one of those haunted attractions that popped up around Halloween. As dark as it all was, it wasn’t dark enough to hide the opulence of the place. He spotted accents of gold and silver that added a fae like shimmer to everything. 

Snape followed the family through the halls, portraits of stern ancestors and beautiful moving scenery lined the halls. He didn’t dare look at any of the portraits despite their eyes following him and their muttered words bouncing off his ears.

Just like the foyer, no expense was paid to the dining room. He was never more grateful for all those annoying lessons than now as he spotted his table settings. More than one fork and spoon, different kinds of knives, all silver, obviously. He even had a golden charger under a porcelain plate painted with what looked like liquid gold. The napkins were even embroidered.

Though it wasn’t a formal enough dinner for there to be escorts and all that nonsense, he still thought to sit at the right of Mrs. Black. Much to his chagrin, Sirius then sat next to him as opposed to the other side of his mother. Regulus sat across and his father at the foot of the table. The table was shorter than he expected, only seating six but it could probably extend as needed. 

As soon as they were all seated the first course, soup, appeared before them. Snape almost grimaced at his soup, it was a light soup. Narcissa said that ladies traditionally had a light soup while men had a darker one. And yet his soup was the same as Mrs. Blacks’ while everyone else had darker soup. 

Picking up the soup spoon, with a practiced hand he began to eat. It was delicious, made with some kind of bean, garlic, and cumin. There was also a slight tang, maybe from lemon. 

“Is the soup to your liking Severus?” Mrs. Black asked in between spoonfuls of her own soup. 

“Yes madam, it’s delicious.” 

As her eyes were on him, Snape made sure to eat as perfectly as possible. He could only imagine the kind of insults she would think up if any of his soup landed on her pressed white table cloth. 

“Why’d you get girl soup?” Sirius asked, leaning over to look into his bowl. Many years of practice prepared him for this moment. Snape took another measured spoonful while using his other hand to pinch the damn idiot under the table. 

Sirus inhaled sharply and glared at him but didn’t make a fuss as he backed up. 

“Sirius,” Orion admonished sternly. Sirius huffed and rolled his eyes before continuing to eat his own soup. 

As soon as they were finished, the bowls vanished and new plates popped up on their charger plates. It wasn’t chicken, Snape knew that much. It was still a bird of some kind that had been seasoned and roasted to perfection. The entire plate was divine, perfectly golden potatoes, steamed vegetables and some kind of deep red sauce over the meat instead of a gravy. 

“So Severus, next year you take your NEWTS, will it be all the same subjects as your OWLS?” Walburga asked as she cut her roast. 

“Mostly madam. I dropped Care of Magical Creatures and I’m doing one for Spellcraft instead,” Snape answered. He didn’t have anything against the class or professor Kettleburn but if he ever wanted to learn the life cycle of a niffler, he could pick up a book and read about it. There were much better uses of his time than that. 

“Spellcraft? I wasn’t aware Hogwarts reinstated the class,” Orion chimed in curiously. 

“Oh, they didn’t. I’m doing independent study. The fundamentals of spellcraft are taught in Charms so it wasn’t difficult to make the jump with the proper resources.” 

“Severus has created many charms,” Regulus added, “Potions as well. I’ve never seen someone brew the way he does. It’s truly remarkable.” Regulus smiled at him reassuringly. Looking at the Blacks, both parents seemed to be in light contemplation, not exactly smiling but their expressions were far from displeasure. 

Sirius however, looked bored.

“Enough about school stuff, what’s your neighbourhood like Snape?” 

“Uninteresting,” Snape said with a glare. 

“You grew up muggle, didn't you? Didn’t you have muggle friends and stuff before going to Hogwarts?” 

“No, I did not.” He didn’t have any friends until Lily and she was a witch. Her parents don't count and his throat would sooner swell shut than allow him to refer to Petunia Evans as anything other than Lily’s sister. Not to mention the woman herself would have an aneurysm if she heard him refer to her as a friend. 

“Despite your unfortunate pedigree it seems the better traits came to fruition. Repulsion to muggles is normal for pureblood wizards. Not sure what happened with this one,” Walburga said with a pointed look at Sirius. 

“That’s a bunch of bullshit and you know it. Snape was probably just a shut in,” Sirius argued. Shut in was a nice way to put it. Loser was probably on the tip of his tongue too. 

“Mind your language boy,” Walburga hissed before turning her attention back to Snape, “How is your mother Severus? Eileen did cause quite the commotion when she disappeared,” Walburga asked. 

Severus nodded, careful not to show any nervousness. He knew what was next. 

“She’s fine. In her last letter she was a bit under the weather.” Her last letter came  just a week after school started and his reply to it went unanswered. She wasn’t dead at least, someone one would’ve told him by now. 

“And your father?” Walburga asked pointedly. There it was. 

“I don’t speak with him,” Snape replied automatically. It was the truth after all, unless screaming matches, insults, and beatings counted then the last time he had an actual conversation with his father was before he started Hogwarts. 

The corner of her lips went up at that. 

“You don’t speak with your dad because he’s a muggle?” Sirius asked, slamming his hands on the table. Their glasses trembled, drops of water slipping down the sides. 

“The details of Severus’ relationship with his sire are his business Sirius,” Regulus admonished. 

“That’s his dad!”

“Drop it Sirius!” 

“It’s his fucking father Regulus!” 

“Sirius!” Walburga shrieked. No wonder they called her a fucking harpy. 

“Quiet.” 

Just like that all three of them sat back in their chairs, mouths closed. Orion was angry, not that Snape’s untrained eyes could see it. No his anger was apparent in the way Sirius sat in his chair, back straighter than a ruler. In Regulus’ eyes, his normally steady gaze flitting about the room. In Walburga’s lips, pressed into a thin line as if to prevent herself from speaking again. 

“We have a guest. I expect my family to show them their best.” The rest of dinner was uncomfortable to say the least. Conversation went between him and Orion with barely any comments from the others. 

“That was a lovely meal, thank you for your hospitality,” Snape said as the last of the dishes disappeared from the table. Not even dessert was enough to change the atmosphere. 

“It’s been an eventful day, I’m sure you’d like to retire for the evening,” Orion said as they got up from the table, “We will be having light refreshments in the morning if you’d like but the next meal will be brunch. Have a good night Severus, boys.” With that, the couple left walking off to Merlin knows where. 

“I’ll show you your room Sev, it’s the guest room across from mine,” Regulus said before grabbing his hand and pulling along. They went up the stairs and entered a corridor with a few doors. 

“That room is Sirius’, that’s our bathroom, and that’s my room down there,” Regulus pointed out as they walked down the corridor. 

They stopped at the end of the hall, Regulus beaming as he opened the door. 

“I hope you like it, I tried to make it suit you.” 

The room was big. Bigger than the entire first level of his house on Spinner’s End. The bed was enormous, the fireplace even more so. He had a sitting area complete with a chair, a sofa and a table. There was another door which undoubtedly led to an en-suite bathroom. The walls were a light olive green with ornate cream coloured patterns that matched well with a similar coloured bedspread. 

“It’s a lot to take in. I like the colours,” Severus said with an uneasy smile. He felt as if he touched anything a security guard would appear out of nowhere and tell him off for it. 

“If you really like it, we can make it your official bedroom for when you come over! And the decor is temporary right now but we can keep it this way or you can change it anyway you like. Kreacher would be happy to help!” Snape wasn’t so sure Kreacher would be happy to do anything other than kick him out. 

“Thank you Regulus,” he said. The younger teen’s hand was warm around his as he led him to the couch. They sat down, knees bumping against each other. Despite the scent of lavender throughout the room, his heart beat erratically. When was the last time he was alone with Regulus like this? 

“I’m really glad you’re here Sev. I always hated leaving you at school every holiday. But now you can come home with me.” Regulus smiled wide, his fingers brushing against Snape’s cheek. It wasn’t a hold but still, Snape couldn’t look away from him. Long, practiced fingers trailed up his face and pushed inky black locks behind Snape’s ear. Regulus always did hate when his face was covered up too much. 

“I’m happy to be here too.” In a way he was. Regulus was his friend and despite the thought of the Yule ball making his heart sink, all the other days of holiday were free for them to enjoy. 

“Sev, do you remember what happened during our…outing at Hogsmeade?” Oh brother. Anything after he idiotically downed all that alcohol was a blur. 

“Bits and pieces, why?” 

“I, I um- I just wanted to say I had a great time.” Regulus scooted closer, their thighs resting against each other. His left hand moved to rest on Snape’s knee, his thumb tracing circular patterns. 

Snape snorted, “I was piss drunk and you had to take care of me. I doubt it was that great.” 

“It was. You’re cute when you're drunk,” Regulus said, making both of them flush, “And I liked being alone with you, it was like we were in our own world. And I’d like to do that again. Not the drinking bit but going somewhere alone with you.” 

“Regulus-”

“I know you don’t feel the same way about me but I still want to prove to you that I’m good enough for you. So please consider going on a date with me, a real one.” 

“Regulus this isn’t about you not being good enough for me. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“But you have me. You’ve always had me and you make it sound like a chore. I’m not a scared little firstie without his brother, clinging to the first person that’s nice to me. You’ve never been a replacement for Sirius, not to me. I’ve always wanted you,” Reglus pleaded, taking both of Snape’s hands in his. 

“Regulus, I don’t know what to say.” Or rather he didn’t know how to say it. How could he even begin to reject Regulus now? It’s not that he didn’t expect this conversation to happen but so soon? Snape thought he’d at least have until after the Yule Ball when everything fell into place and seemed inevitable. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Regulus whispered before leaning in.

A sharp crack caused them to jump apart. Kreacher was obviously glaring at him now. It may have been hard to tell before under all those wrinkles but the disgusted curl of the elf’s lip gave away exactly how he felt. 

“The madam prepared these for the guest,” Kreacher spit before practically shoving a stack of white clothing into his hands. 

“Thank you Kreacher,” Regulus said pointedly. Despite his job being done, the elf stayed put, staring defiantly at Regulus as the teen started back. Snape wasn’t familiar with how bonding between an elf and their family worked but he was pretty sure it didn’t include telepathy. 

Kreacher then snorted and walked to the door. He opened it but instead of leaving, he looked to Regulus expectantly. 

“Good night Sev. We’ll speak in the morning, yeah?” Regulus sighed before leaning over and kissing his cheek. A soft snarl came from the elf causing Regulus to glare at him before following the little beast out of the room. 

Once he was alone, Snape flopped onto his bed. Fuck propriety, he was exhausted in every sense of the word. Sitting up he unfolded the garments Kreacher gave him just to groan in disgust. 

They were nightgowns. White lacy abominations. He doubted anyone other than Walburga wore anything similar. Actually she may not even wear them considering how short they looked. They probably stopped above his knees and there were no bottoms given with them. It wasn’t like they just bought a pack of them either, each one was a different delicate design. At least they were soft.  

After all this, he deserved a nice bath.  Going through his luggage he got the expensive soaps and lotions Narcissa sent him and went into the bathroom. 

Like everything else in the damn house, the bathroom was spared no expense when it came to decoration. The tub was large with multiple handles for water and other bath essentials.  

Not bothering to test anything new, Snape filled the tub with hot water and added in his orange scented soap. If he also poured in a soothing solution that was between him and Lady Magic. 

All this money was good for something. His own family had a wash tub that could barely fit him as a child and unless you were a prefect or quidditch captain, Hogwarts just had showers. Being able to lay back and stretch out in a bath was luxurious. His body was engulfed in steaming hot water that melted the day away. If he got to enjoy this every night, maybe it was worth it to get with Regulus. 

Sadly, all good things must come to an end and before he turned into a prune, Snape got out of the tub and drained it. He could hear Evan in his head as he went through the multi step process of skin care. 

And to top it all off, he put on the nightgown. Forget his knees, the damn thing stopped at mid thigh. Stepping out of the bathroom, Severus groaned. As if his night couldn’t get any worse. 

“Get out.”

“And here I thought we were friends,” Sirius replied from his place on the couch. 

“Despite our history, at least have some respect for a guest and allow them to rest, undisturbed.”

“Our history,” Sirius muttered, “You know I never really thought you were that much like them. I mean you were friends with Evans and half muggle. But look at you, not even talking to your own dad.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Severus growled. How fucking dare he?

“I don't? A wanna be pureblood so desperate to fit in that he disavows his own fucking father! What? You want to be one of them that damn bad? To think I felt bad for you!”

“Shut up Black!”

“Your mom even ran away from them all! She was supposed to marry into the Notts you know! And she ran away because even she could see through all this evil bullshit just to have a son desperate to be taken in by them!”

“Shut the hell up! You know nothing about my mother or that man she ran off with! You think I resent my father for being a muggle? I’d hate him even if he was a fucking wizard at this point! He’s a useless, shitty waste of space!”

“But-”

“But nothing! I know the only muggles you’ve probably had the pleasure of actually talking to have been Mister and Mrs. Evans but a lot more of ‘em would see our kind dead.”

“He’s your father!”

“So? Believe it or not Black but not every muggle is accepting once they learn their child has magic. If he knew what they were, my father would wish me a bloody squib. The same way you don’t get along with your parents, I don’t get along with my father. Next time you talk to Lily ask her about her fucking sister and see what she says.” 

For once in his life, Sirius looked heavily chastised. 

“Your dad hates magic?”

“Yes and he hates me too so no, I don’t speak with him. Get out of my room.” 

Sirius got up and slowly approached Snape like one would do an angry dog. 

“Sorry, really Snape I am,” he said before holding his hand out. Snape rolled his eyes before grabbing it to shake only for Sirius to pull him into a hug.

“Get off of me you fucking cretin!” Snape raged, hitting Sirius’ back with his fists. 

“Nope, not until you forgive me for making you sad. You know they say couples shouldn’t go to sleep angry.”

“If I didn’t know you were already mad this would confirm it, let go of me you crazed buffoon.” 

“Not until you forgive me.”

“Fine I forgive you, now let go!”

“You have to say: Sirius I forgive you and you’re my favourite Black.”

“Accio wand!” Snape yelled, holding his hand out for the ebony wand to fly into.

“Okay okay! No need to get hasty, Merlin Snape I was just having a laugh,” Sirius whined as he felt the tip of the wand press into his back. He released the shorter teen, holding his hands up in clear view. 

“Also, what’s with the nightgown? Didn’t know you liked girl clothes,” Sirius said as he slipped out of the room. 

This was going to be a long, long holiday.

“Kreacher, I can't believe you! You were supposed to be nice to him,” Regulus chastised, “How is he supposed to feel welcome here if you're acting like this?”

“He’s not a pureblood. Master Regulus is to be the heir and-”

“He’s the love of my life! Mother and father are going to allow it, so please treat him kindly. Please Kreacher, I love him.” Kreacher was his first and greatest ally, but he couldn’t forgive him if he messed this up.

Whether it was paranoia or premonition, he knew this was his last chance. His last chance to finally break down that last irritating wall between them. If he failed now, Severus would never love him back; and as much as he loved Kreacher, he’ll be damned if the elf’s the reason Snape rejects him again. 

“He’s really amazing Kreacher and he always treats the elves at school well. Please just try, he knows you’re being difficult and it reflects poorly on all of us.” As he expected, the elf’s shoulders dropped. When it came to the honour and reputation of the family, Kreacher would always shove aside his personal feelings. It’s the only reason he put up with Sirius. 

“Kreacher will behave better. What is…Mister Snape’s favourite tea?” Kreacher asked, avoiding eye contact. 

“He really likes assam blends, the bolder the better. Not Earl Grey though, he doesn’t like bergamot. And for refreshments tomorrow morning can you make sure we have melons, cut in cubes. They have to be sweet too.”

 Snape was picky when it came to fruits. He never ate them whole, only cut up into pieces. He didn’t care for stone fruits nor did he really like blueberries. Citrus was a safe bet but the only fruit he’d seen Severus actively go for were melons. 

“As you wish, master. Sweet dreams,” Kreacher replied with a bow before popping out of the room. 

Tomorrow will be perfect. They’d have refreshments in the morning and then he’d show Snape the library. They’d have brunch and Lucius and Narcissa would make Sev feel more comfortable around mother and father. 

Then they’d spend the rest of the day together, alone. Mother and father would have last minute business before everything took a break for the holidays; and hopefully Sirius would bugger off to Diagon Alley or run around with muggles in the square. 

And he’d be left with Severus. Alone. Finally alone. No Lupin waiting in the wings to muck it all up. Stupid git was stuck at the castle and the next time he laid eyes on Severus, he’d already belong to someone else. Everything would be perfect. 

Regulus rolled over on his bed and smiled into his pillow. It was all coming together.