Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Prelude

The Hilltop Mall loomed large over the twinkling lights of the city below. The holiday decor was fashionably early, as in months early. There wasn’t such a thing as too early in the world of retail. The anchor stores had large Christmas trumpets fastened to the walls outside. Of course Halloween was around the corner, but no one was concerned about running over that holiday if it meant getting people ready for some holiday retail therapy.

The inside of the mall boasted some early decorations too. In the mall’s ostentatious center, where the tall Greek columns soared to the ceiling, two men wound large strands of garland clear to the top using a lift that was brought in just for the occasion.

There were three major displays in the mall. They were working right over the large gingerbread house display. In just a few weeks it would play host to a Santa Claus photo spot. On the other end of the mall was a display that looked like a toy factory, complete with animated elves forever making toys for good little boys and girls.

The man on the lift came back down, having secured the last of the garland. “You can’t stay mad at me forever,” he said to the other man.

“Mark, you are underestimating me. Again.”

“I’ll give them back.”

“Not the point. It’s wrong. He’s an old man, and you took advantage of him.”

Mark got off the lift, and tried to block the other man’s path. “Kurt, I’m sorry.”

“You’re not. And that’s what makes it worse. You’d take it all again, if the opportunity presented itself.” Mark tried to stop him from walking away with a hand to his upper arm. Kurt shrugged him off. “You’re a thief.”

“I’ll make it right.” But just as the words left his mouth, a brilliant golden light descended down from the ceiling. They both looked up in surprise. “What the hell?”

A golden woman hovered over them. She floated down closer. Her eyes were fierce. Her hair billowed out around her face like endless, golden ocean waves. The men stood transfixed. She reached out toward Mark and said, “Thief.” Then his body was engulfed in golden light.

Kurt seemed to shake himself loose from his shock. He tried to move toward Mark. “What’s happening?” The woman looked to him and sent a pulse of energy his way, knocking him clear across the space. He hit his head hard against one of the columns. The last thing he remembered seeing was Mark, fading away with the golden light.

Chapter One

Dean laid all stretched out on the massage table that was one of four such tables in the newly re-opened Hilltop Massage Studio. It was a small shop tucked away in the corner of the Hilltop Mall. The mall had a lot of foot traffic, and business might end up being good in time, not that that was a goal. They were here because the Hilltop Mall was maybe haunted, and also because running a business seemed like a good idea at the time.

Dean thought that it was an elaborate hoax when Sam came into his room in the bunker with a case just before Halloween. Their busiest time seemed to usually fall later. Strangely enough, not much really ever happened on Halloween for them.

He had gone along with it though. Getting out of the bunker, breathing in the world with the windows down during the drive seemed like a nice way to pass the time. Dean had a tiny moment when they arrived at the mall. The whole thing was decked out in all things Christmas, and it was still October.

He pushed all of that aside though. Now here he was just one week later, and they were all somehow now running a small business. Things escalated pretty quickly.

Cas wandered back into the shop, interrupting Dean's reminiscence and took a seat on the massage table next to Dean’s. “Sam back yet?”

Dean said, “You see him?”

Cas actually looked around, like he thought he might have missed Sam or something. There was literally nowhere that Sam could hide in their little shop. Well, maybe he could have hidden in the back office, but none of them ever spent time back there. It wasn’t air conditioned. “Get any customers?”

“No, didn’t expect to either.” Dean grumbled and rolled into a sitting position.

“Perhaps if you didn’t look as if you’d died on one of our massage tables, people would want to come in.”

“Fuck off. This is dumb. I mean of all the ways to get access to the mall after hours, this is just,” Dean paused as if he were really searching for the right word. Instead, he just went with repetition. “Dumb.”

“It is, and I believe you suggested it.” Cas got up then and started tidying up the already tidy front counter.

“I was joking.”

Cas rolled his eyes and said, “Guess next time you’ll be more careful when you joke. Sam was looking for any solution, and you just toss out there that we can take over the massage parlor, and I can start pulling my weight around here.”

Cas actually looked irritated. Dean felt a little bad about the last bit, but the part about taking over a massage parlor was damn funny, and he had no regrets where that was concerned. “Look, you do plenty. That was a joke. This though,” Dean waved his hands around. “This is not what I meant at all.”

“Sam started to explain what you meant.”

Dean looked away a moment and said, “He did huh?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure why you thought I needed to work in a massage parlor, but Sam said that he’d be able to explain that to me later. Unfortunately you came back from the breakfast run this morning, and the explanation had to wait.”

Dean felt himself choking on literally nothing. Cas looked concerned. “That was a joke too. Sam won’t explain it right, so you should just let it go.” Dean started moving toward the entryway. Better to maybe stand outside of the business, try to draw people in. He glanced back at Cas who was absolutely staring at him. Yeah, here is safe. No fucking up shit out here. No explaining jokes out here either.

Of course Cas came out to stand at his side. “Should I approach people and ask them if they’d like a massage?”

“Do you even have a clue how to do that?” Dean asked.

“I have gotten much better at conversing with strangers. Sam said so at least.”

Dean ran a hand back up through his hair and leaned into the doorway. “Not what I meant.” He glanced at Cas then started surveying the crowds that were not coming through their section of the mall. “I meant, have you ever given someone a massage before?”

“I have.” Dean looked shocked. “It has been a very long time. I’m likely rusty.”

Dean absolutely did not let his mind wander over the idea of Cas running his hands all over someone. Shit. It bothered him a little that he no longer had a valid reason to offer to personally train Cas in the fine art of massage. “Well, okay then.” He was speaking just to fill the silence.

Cas was looking at him. He looked like he found Dean amusing. “Have you ever given someone a massage before?”

Dean answered quickly, “Well, yeah, lots of times. I mean, I’m no pro or anything, but I don’t get any complaints.”

“Now there’s a strong endorsement,” Sam said as he walked up from the other side.

Dean chose to ignore the comment and asked, “So you find anything?”

“The archives down at City Hall didn’t have the old documents on this land either. Pretty much everything is just, ‘empty land’ and then ‘mall.’ It’s like this place has never been anything before.”

Cas said, “Well, we know that isn’t true.”

“Yeah, we’re missing something, or someone is hiding something,” Dean agreed.

“Was thinking.” Sam moved past them into the shop. “If you two don’t mind keeping up appearances here for a bit longer, I’d like to take the sensor into the delivery bays around the building.”

“Have at it.” Dean came in and plopped down into one of the overstuffed chairs. “Cas and I got this.”

“Yeah, enjoy all of the honest wage earning.” Sam headed out. The place grew quiet again. Cas went back to the entryway to stare out at the rest of the mall.

Dean stared at him. It’s what they did. If they could just earn money from prolonged staring, they’d be wealthy men, well, a wealthy man and an ex-angel. Dean assumed Cas didn’t think of himself as a man yet, despite the fact that he chose to fall. It was strange to think about. Dean thought about it quite often too. Why give all of that up? It wasn’t that Dean didn’t get part of it. Angels were dicks after all, but the power that came with being an angel had to be better than what he had now. It just didn’t make sense, and Dean wasn’t sure how to broach the subject without sounding like an ass.

Dean wondered how long they’d have to pretend at this whole small business venture. Cas wasn’t wrong; it was partly his idea, but really it started with Sam. He found the case, and it was clearly their sort of thing, the golden woman that made a guy disappear. They tried investigating it in their usual FBI garb, only to find that they were late to the party. Some feds were already in town, asking questions. They didn’t want to deal with any of that, so Sam suggested just being a bunch of mallrats for a few days. They hung out in the food court, talked to people, and mostly kept their eyes open for any other weird stuff. Nothing came of it.

Then the next pair of disappearances happened. There were delivery tunnels running under one side of the mall. One of the business owners was down there, then he wasn’t. The security footage was grainy and cut out at the end, but it showed the guy glowing, then just disappearing. They wouldn’t have gotten access to that if it hadn’t been for Cas cozying up to one of the security guards. She was cute and bubbly and way too young for him, in Dean’s opinion.

Hell, everyone’s too young for Cas. Dean let his eyes roam back to Cas, who was still leaning into the entryway. So, they were no closer to figuring out what was going on, and they were starting to get weird looks from people when they tried to strike up conversations. They also needed to have regular access to the mall after hours. You couldn’t get that without owning one of the shops, so a plan hatched when Dean made his little joke.

In his defence, he wouldn’t have joked if another disappearance wouldn’t have occurred, this time in the massage studio. They saw this one happen. And when they started skulking around the now abandoned massage studio, people started needing a reason. Sam claimed that he was an employee, and that they were going to be running the place during the holidays while the owner took a much needed vacation. Somehow, people bought it. Now here they were. Sam had to take it one step farther though. He suggested that they actually work at the place, make some real money while they investigate. Dean couldn’t see the harm in that, but it didn’t really sound doable. Cas went along with the plan though, so who was he to complain?

Dean’s thoughts were interrupted by Cas moving his arm up to the topmost portion of the entryway frame, and that move pulled his shirt up just a little. A thin patch of tan skin peeked out of the space. When did he get sun there? As if that was the most important question. Dean licked his lips and kept on staring. He was gonna do this all day it seemed. Then Cas brought his arm down and looked suddenly professional. “Hello,” Cas said to someone that Dean couldn’t see from where he was sitting.

Dean could hear a woman’s voice and what sounded like an army of children. Cas was motioning into the shop. Dean stood up. A woman moved into the space, attractive, blonde with three kids fastened to her via backpack leashes. “I don’t think this’ll work. I don’t know what I was thinking. They were just so calm at home, and my back was killing me.”

“You don’t need to worry. As luck would have it, we are having a bit of a slow spell here. Dean will watch your little angels. He’s good at that. Don’t worry.” Cas looked at Dean and gave him a wink. Dean blanched. When did he start doing that?

Dean moved forward and stood in front of the lady and her kids. He came down to a squat. “Well, hello there little princesses.” They stopped tugging on the leashes and generally bouncing around to look at Dean. There was something to the way a kid will assess an adult. Dean turned up his smile, but made sure to keep it genuine. “Tell me your names.”

All at once they said, “SarahJanePenny.”

Dean pointed at each one and said, “So, Sarah, Jane, and Penny.” He held out his hand to each to shake and said, “I’m Dean. Nice to meet you all.”

The woman said, “Oh thank God they like you.” She started pulling off the leashes from her arm to hand to Dean. “I volunteered to watch them. My sister has been doing the A+ mom thing, and I thought she deserved a small weekend away with her husband. Turns out I’m not good at this.”

Cas laughed and said, “Kids are a handful,” as if he knew a thing about child rearing. “Come right on over here and Dean will try to be entertaining.” Dean scowled at him a little. I’m totally entertaining. Then he remembered that Cas couldn’t hear his thoughts or prayers or whatever this was.

Cas lead the woman to the massage table at the back. Dean pulled some stacks of paper out from behind the counter and said, “So, you all want to draw some pictures?”

The girls each seemed to consider his suggestion. One of the girls, Penny, Dean thought, said, “We want to build a fort like Cara makes when she babysits us.”

Dean considered this a moment. “I’m not sure we have the necessary equipment for a quality fort.” He looked around the shop and started considering his options.They had a ton of those foldable screens. The prior owner seemed to be interested in giving the place some sort of zen vibe. There were little red strips of cloth under the register and the place was tidy and calm. The girls were starting to move about a bit with restless energy.

“You just need pillows,” Sarah said.

Dean hummed in consideration and then smiled down at them. “I think we have a few in the back. Maybe some old boxes too. Wanna come see?” The girls started jumping up and down excitedly. Dean gave them a conspiratorial wink, and then raised a finger to his lips to encourage quiet. “We don’t want to be too loud while Cas works on your aunt’s sore back.”

“She slept on it wrong. That happens to my dad sometimes,” Sarah said.

Dean guided them into the back of the shop where a door lead to a room that was used for both storage and an office. He propped the door open and saw that they had plenty of boxes to work with. “You think we could make it work with just boxes?”

The girls seemed interested. Dean cast a glance back at Cas, who was already working on the woman’s back. He was really digging into her shoulder area. Dean wondered if she knew she was gonna get a deep tissue massage. Not my problem. He moved over to the pile of boxes and started pulling them out to the larger central area. “How big should we make it?” Jane asked.

“I don’t know,” Dean said. “You tell me.” Dean smiled and started stacking the smaller boxes into an approximation of a wall. “How about, you three build your fort on that side of the room, and I’ll build my fort across from you. At the end, we’ll try to knock over each other’s walls with some paper cannon balls or something.”

The girls looked surprised. There was something rather cute about the way that they seemed to go through the same emotions at the same time. Must be the triplet thing. The girls started working on their wall building with zeal, and Dean began his own. He figured they’d have maybe 30 minutes total. Most people didn’t get much longer than that at a mall.

They got more than 30 minutes. In fact, they got just over an hour before Dean noticed their audience. They’d been firing off little paper ball missiles at each other’s walls. Sam came back and got dragged into the effort. The girls pulled him into their team. Likely thought he was one of them with his long hair. Dean’s wall was holding up until Sam scooped up one of the girls so she could fire down missiles on him from above. They were loud and happy. Dean surrendered under a fierce storm of paper rain.The office was a disaster. Dean looked toward the door and saw Cas and the woman hovering there.

“You all should market yourselves to long suffering moms. Daycare and a massage, who could ask for anything more?” She smiled.

Sam laughed and moved over toward the door. “Pretty sure we don’t have the licensing for that.”

They all moved back out into the main shop. Cas took over the counter to ring up the massage. They hadn’t done a bit of business that day, so Dean wondered how much Cas would be charging today. They were always just making it up as they went along. Cas said, “Well, that’ll be sixty.” The woman looked surprised, and Dean couldn’t tell if it was the good kind of surprised or not.

“You sure?” Her tone was all doubtful.

“I believe so.” Cas looked toward Dean for a little help, but Dean didn’t do a thing.

The woman pulled out her wallet and a crisp hundred. She slid it across the counter. “Don’t need the change.” She gathered the girls and started to head out. “I might regret saying this, but you all need to charge more. That was the best massage I’ve ever had.”

Cas beamed a little. “Thanks for that. You have a nice day.” He gave her a little wave. The girls bounded out in her wake. Sam leaned into the counter. “Best massage she ever had,” Cas repeated.

“Yeah, don’t get all full of yourself, buddy.” Dean roamed on over to the massage table and laid down.

“At least he works,” Sam said.

“I worked plenty hard. You see how happy those kids were?”

“Yeah, they really perked up when I showed up.” Sam reached over to a nearby chair and snatched a pillow. He threw it at Dean, who caught it before it hit his face.

“So tell us what you found,” Cas interrupted.

“Got some noise down in the south corridor, but I didn’t see any reason for it.” Sam ran a hand back through his hair. “Honestly, I don’t know what to do short of burning the whole place to the ground and salting the earth in our wake. It just doesn’t seem like we’ve got a damn thing to go on.”

“So, I guess we’re gonna be here a bit longer then?” Cas said.

“Looks like it,” Sam said.

Chapter Text

The week passed, then a second, and it only took that long for them to develop routines. In the evenings they roamed through the delivery tunnels, and in the daytime they took turns “working.” They still weren’t busy, by any stretch, but they were bringing in some money. And word seemed to be getting out about them.

Sunday’s seemed like they'd be their slow days, so they set up a simple routine for those days. Dean would sleep in, and Sam would do the breakfast run before he’d head in to run the place solo. Cas thought he needed to start jogging, so Sundays were his day for that. On their first Sunday, he came in from his jog before Sam had gotten back with breakfast. Sweat glistened off of him. The motel that they were sharing wasn’t much. It had two beds and a pull-out. They took turns with the pull-out to save their backs. Dean was still in his bed. Cas pulled his shirt off and tossed it onto the pull-out.

“Hey, don’t put that there. You’ll get it all sweaty and gross,” Dean said.

Cas scowled at him. “My bed, my sweat.”

“Our room. Be considerate. Put your sweaty clothes in the bathroom.”

Cas scooped up the shirt still scowling. He took a step toward the bathroom, then he tossed it right at Dean’s face. Dean didn’t catch the shirt. It slapped him full in the face with all of it’s sweaty glory. “Oh, I forgot you have morning reflexes.”

Dean threw it back at him. “Asshole.”

“Well that was fun.” Cas took the shirt to the bathroom and hung it up on the back of the door. “You should go running with me, then you won’t be so…” He waved a hand around as if that was enough of a sentence ender.

“Yeah, no. Pass.” Dean got up out of the bed and started rummaging around for the day’s clothes. Cas started striping out of the rest of his clothes while still not being in the bathroom. Dean tipped back his head and let out a groan of absolute frustration. “Damn it Cas.”

“What?” Cas just looked at him, like he couldn’t understand a damn thing about him.

“What do you mean, what?” Dean pointed at the bathroom.

“I don’t get why you make such a big deal out of it. Your clothes are literally everywhere.”

“My clothes are clean. Also, you are hella naked. Sam’s gonna get back and open that door to a whole lotta Cas.”

Cas raised an eyebrow and asked, “So you want me to preserve Sam’s dignity or something? He’s seen me naked before. He really doesn’t care.”

Dean just rolled his eyes again. “Anyone walking by in that parking lot is gonna see your bare ass.” And because Dean was losing this battle, and because Cas was still very naked he added, “Think of the children, Cas.”

“You’re an idiot.” Cas picked up his clothes from off the floor where he had tossed them. He’s bending over. Damnit. He moved off to the bathroom. “Don’t think I don’t know what this is really about.”

He closed the door before Dean could say anything back. So Dean raised his voice. “What is this really about? Enlighten me.” He moved closer to the bathroom door and leaned against the wall next to it. He could hear Cas laugh on the other side of the door.

Cas yanked the door open and now they were right up in each other’s faces. Cas was still naked, because why would that change? Dean was telling himself repeatedly, Eyes up, focus. Dean sucked in a breath to steel his resolve, and that likely looked bad in hindsight, because Cas, that little fucker , rolled up his lip into a shit eating grin. Cas took a step closer. Dean’s gaze dropped, shit. He got the full vision, and he was not handling it. He wanted to handle it. Damnit. He made sure to focus again on Cas’ face. Cas was still grinning at him. He moved even closer to Dean. He practically had his chest all pressed up against Dean. And if Dean really minded he’d just take a giant step to the side, but he didn’t; oh no he so didn’t. He just stood there swallowing down all of his stupid words and worries and waited for Cas to do or say anything.

“You like looking at me.” Cas’ words weren’t what he expected, and he certainly didn’t expect them to roll over him like they did. His tone was low and graveled out in that way that was so Cas. It was comforting and at the same time it could be terrifying. Dean felt his heart beating all erratically. Is this what a heart attack feels like? Am I dying? He wondered if he was supposed to say something, offer up a denial or something. He just opted to stand there like an idiot. His eyes betrayed him again and took in a sweeping view of Cockstiel. Boner Town was on full display and Dean was in fact dying.

“I,” Dean choked out that one word then realized he had nothing.

Cas crowded up against him. He jabbed at Dean’s chest with his finger to punctuate each word. “You, Like, Looking, At, Me.” He stayed where he was, and Dean didn’t move. He could still feel Cas’ finger on his chest. Cas leaned into Dean’s ear. He spoke into the space, all low and rough. “I don’t mind.” He moved away from Dean then and went back into the bathroom, gently closing the door between them.

What the hell was that? Dean focused on his breathing. He knew what that was. He didn’t know what to do about it though. Well shit.

So, two Sunday’s in and Dean had to construct all sorts of scenarios that would keep himself from acting like an idiot when it was just him and Cas. It was his week on the pull-out, so pretending to sleep in was out of the question, especially given the way that things would play out if he did. Everyone had routines now.

The crap bed was killing his spine. He looked at the clock all bright on the nightstand across the room. It was nearing 11, and if past Sundays and now Wednesdays and Mondays were any indicator, Cas would be back any second, and he had things to cover up and clothes to put on, and the shame of the prior night to ignore.

Dean started getting out of the bed. His clothes were folded neatly on the dresser, as if he was trying to lead by example or something. Actually, the act of folding the clothes the night before had been about making Cas uncomfortable. Dean was not sure he’d succeeded. Well, there was discomfort all right, but it seemed more like it had been Dean that felt it.

Cas had been doing the nudist thing again, changing in the main part of their room instead of in the bathroom like normal people do. Sam didn’t even seem to notice. He just climbed into his bed, stretched his limbs out to the four corners and declared the day done with a “Goodnight.”

Dean just rolled his eyes. “Must be nice sleeping on that big, comfortable bed, Gigantor.”

“Had my turn on the pull-out, Dean. It’s your turn.” Sam rolled over to face toward the door with a very satisfied groan. Cas laughed a little and took his freaking time finding underwear. Dean could see the boxers. They were literally right there, but he’d be damned if he was gonna say a thing. Cas needed no more ammunition where Dean was concerned.

Dean was sliding off his shoes while sitting on the edge of his bed. Cas came over to the side of Dean’s bed and bent over to pick up his duffel bag. “The bed is really horrible.”

“You don’t say.” Dean delivered the words with a frustrated huff of a breath. He made sure to keep his gaze high. Damnit the boxers are right over there. Right there.

“Well, you’re more than welcome to take half of my bed.” Dean felt all of his muscles seize up. His heart did this crazy hiccup. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.  “Not like I use the whole thing like Sam over there.”

Sam apparently decided to defend his honor then by saying, “I don’t use the whole bed.”

“Sure you don’t, Sam. Go to sleep,” Cas said, sounding all sympathetic, like Sam needed that or something. He looked at Dean, and his lips quirked up into a little grin. He whispered, “He’s like a starfish, limbs everywhere.” Apparently Sam didn’t hear that bit. And because he whispered, Cas brought his face closer to Dean which also meant that he brought his still very naked body closer too.

I am dying. I am actually dying, and this is hell. His eyes dipped to the rest of Cas. Fuck. He quickly brought his eyes back up to the safe zone, but Cas saw. Does he even know what he’s doing? Cas licked his lips and moved back to his duffel bag. Dean got up and walked over to the boxers that were laying on the floor and stooped to pick them up. He tossed them to Cas, who caught them. “Looking for these?”

“Yeah,” Cas said as he started pulling them on. “I should have just asked you where they were in the first place, given that you’re always so concerned with my state of undress.” Cas smirked and got into his bed. “It’s funny how bothered humans are with nudity.” And a little quieter he muttered, “Some a great deal more than others.” Cas’ eyes raked over him. Dean wondered a little at what he was seeing. Surely nothing was too visible, too incriminating.

“You just don’t get it,” Dean muttered right back. He felt a little bubble of irritation. It was perfectly normal to want a little decency in the motel room that he was sharing with his best friend and his brother, HIS BROTHER. That wasn’t it though, and Dean knew it. The little bubble of irritation grew, because sometimes that emotion is just easier. Unfortunately for Dean, he channeled it wrong.

Cas just laid in his bed, watching him. Dean needed to change for bed. He pulled off the first layer, a plaid shirt. He folded it slowly and set it on the dresser. He reached for his fly and undid the button. He pulled the zipper down slowly. He made a point of not looking at Cas. He did hear the little hitch of a breath though, and felt a measure of pleasure at the effect his simple actions were having. I’m just changing for bed. Not a big deal. He slid his hands down his sides slowly to push the jeans down to the floor.

He bent over and picked up the jeans. He set them on the bed and reached over his head to pull off his t-shirt. Now that he was just in his boxer briefs he felt rather exposed, but he wasn’t one to do anything by half. He bent a little toward the bed to fold the shirt and then the jeans. He stretched when he finished and felt the little pop in his back that came with a good stretch. He moved the folded clothes to the dresser. He ran his thumbs along the elastic band of his underwear. He considered sliding them off too. Sleeping commando was not something he was really interested in doing. Sometimes, sacrifices had to be made.

He hazarded a glance at Cas. Dean felt that tightening in his muscles again. Cas was most definitely staring at him. Dean wasn't sure, but it seemed like Cas was enjoying the show. With a wink and a shimmy, Dean committed. His underwear went down to the floor.

Dean bent down slowly, picked them up, and folded them. He set them on the dresser with the rest of his clothes. He did not look at Cas. That might be too much at this point, but Dean could hear his breathing. Dean grinned as he pulled back the sheets and blankets to climb in. If he really wanted to win this thing, whatever it was, he'd take Cas up on his other offer.

Dean laid there in the horrible bed alone and smirked up at the ceiling in triumph. Then he heard movement. Cas was out of his bed. He was standing next to the pull-out looking down at Dean.

Dean stared back at him now, his chest puffed up, his muscular arms descending to clenched fists. “So you're going to sleep here?” Cas sounded irritated.

“Yup.” It was all Dean felt comfortable saying at first. Cas didn't move. He just kept staring down at Dean like he was waiting for something. “Got a problem with that?”

Cas tipped his head back and let out a rough gust of air. “So many.” He turned his gaze back to Dean then. Dean wondered what he wasn't saying. Cas turned away from him toward the bathroom. He went in and gently closed the door behind him. Dean heard the water turn on. Cas had taken a shower earlier that evening, but apparently that wasn’t stopping him from taking one again.

Dean rolled over and faced the front door. He pretended to sleep when Cas came back out. Dean did not look at him, but he was quite capable of imagining what he'd look like coming out of that bathroom with a trail of steam following him. And if he dressed before leaving the restroom, Dean was sure that whatever he was wearing would be clinging to his hips only by some miracle.

Dean tried not to move. The bed was a mess of noisy springs. He listened for Cas in the dark and willed his body to settle down. It was a long night, but eventually sleep came to him.

Chapter Text

Never sleeping naked again. Dean silently berated himself as he got dressed. He considered trading Sunday shift with Sam. Cas would just follow him there though, so avoidance wouldn't be accomplished. Might be easier being in public though.

Dean was pulling on his shoes when Cas came in. “Up already?”

“Yeah, this bed sucks.” Then Dean remembered the offer from the night before and did some covering. “Could be worse though.” He moved to the door. “I'm gonna take the first shift, give Sammy a break.”

Cas seemed to follow the sudden shift in the conversation. “I could go with you. Not like I have anything better to do here.” Predictable.

“You don't like hanging with Sam?” Dean wasn't sure why he was being difficult.

“Sam is very easy to be around. Much easier than some people.” He gave Dean a pointed stare. “Wait for me to get changed. I'm going with you.” Cas headed into the bathroom. Dean smiled a little, feeling like he temporarily won the public nudity war.

Dean got up and went to the window to look out at the world. His back hurt in every way. He'd have to find a way to make the bed tolerable if he was going to survive it this week. He missed his bed back home. He stretched and felt the pinched nerve in his back. It would be a long day.

“What tired of each other all ready?” That was how Sam greeted them when they walked in the door.

“Yeah, that's it.” Dean came up to the counter and added, “Cas and I'll swap shifts with ya.”

Sam looked skeptical. “Uh, why?”

“I think Dean's bored.” Cas came up to his side.

Sam laughed. “Well, I just got a double, so we'll be taking a loss if I leave, ‘cause I’m on a roll, and Dean is most definitely not.” They came up with terms for how they were paid. A double was when someone paid double the bill and let you keep it. They had a kind of competitive thing going on between them. Cas was winning, hands down. Dean was losing to them all. It wasn't even close.

“Today's gonna be my day to pull into the lead.”

Sam rounded the counter saying, “Unlikely.”

“Don't worry, Sam. We'll do fine. I usually manage to pull enough doubles to count for Dean and I both.”

“Rude. What happened to having your friend's back?” Dean went to the office. He was feeling the sharp pains kicking up in his back. He didn't want them picking up on how much pain he was experiencing. Cas would likely just offer up half the bed again, and that wasn’t fixing a damn thing.

He closed the door behind him. The office offered privacy, but the vents in the wall let sound through. He could hear Cas and Sam talking about him just as clearly as if he’d have stayed out there with them.

“You two work out your shit, or is this carried over frustrations from last night?” Sam asked.

“Who knows with him. Here's your brother, so you know him best. Why can't he just…” Cas didn't finish the thought.

“Most days I think you know him better. You know, profound bond and all that.” Dean could practically see Sam making air quotes as he spoke.

“Well, I'm not so sure. He's more frustrating than usual.”

Sam’s voice did that funny almost whine thing. “Yeah, about that.” There was a pause then, “What was up with the striptease business last night?”

“Oh, you saw that?” Cas sounded as uncomfortable as Dean felt.

“Yeah, remind me to buy an eye mask later so I don't accidentally see anything like that again.”

“Sorry.” Cas sighed and added, “I may have set that off inadvertently.”

“You mean with the whole, naked business he’s always riding you about?”

“Yeah, that. I don’t think I’ll ever get him. I mean, it is not like it has to be a big deal.”

“That’s just Dean though. He doesn’t know how to be happy, so he acts like an ass.”

“I don’t see why me changing in the motel has to stir up so much.” Cas sighed again. “Actually I do see why it does, but it’s irritating.”

“Yeah well, maybe discourage the Dean striptease business while I’m around, and if you need me to find alternative lodging, just say so. I’m down with giving you both a little time to sort your shit.” Sam sounded just as frustrated as Cas. Dean felt the heat of the office. His brow was getting all sweaty. He wiped his hands on his pants to dry them too. What the hell? Sam thinks we’re having some sort of couple fight or something. Dean considered going out there and setting them straight. Then he heard Sam again, “Well, I’m gonna head out. Turns out, I can get a temporary gig going on the new construction in the south corridor for the mall. They’re pouring cement and such for the new wing. If you and Dean can handle this then I can bring in more money there, and get access to that part of the mall.”

“We don’t really need more money, but if you would rather work there then go for it.”

“It’s not the money as much as the access. I’m thinking I’ll add salt to the cement and iron filings to some of the building materials. It should help with repelling the ghosts, at least on that end anyway.”

“Smart.” Cas’ tone was decidedly pleased.

“I’ll be back at the end of the day and catch a ride home with you guys.” Then Sam called out louder, “Bye Dean.” Dean didn’t reply or get up from the desk. He started to get up, but his back felt worse now that he was sitting. He closed his eyes for a minute and let the conversation roll around in his head. He wasn’t sure what to make of it all. It actually sounded like Cas and Sam were on the same page and that they both thought that he was being... frustrating. Dean opened his eyes and stared at the wall that separated them. I’m not being frustrating at all. It’s Cas that is acting all weird and shit. I mean who acts like that? Dean let his mind settle on some of those moments that they’d had these past three weeks. Cas was just changing for bed. It was more than that though, and that’s why he was riding him all the time.

Dean hadn’t let himself process much of that for more than a few minutes at a time. Every time he thought about the prospect of Cas and him or even just Cas all on his own being attractive, he shut it down. He was afraid, not of the attraction, but of what it would mean. Cas was his friend. Cas was also someone that, for all his years, had little to no experience with the kinds of human things that Dean imagined pretty regularly now. Cas couldn’t begin to know what it would mean to choose Dean in that way.

Dean didn’t think too highly of himself. It was one thing to know you’re a hero, and another thing to think you’re relationship material. And that was the kicker, because he was not looking for a relationship. You have to believe that you might live a little while if you’re going to go for something like that. He always figured he’d die in a blaze of glory someday, probably soon. Dean had sex, but it was casual. He couldn’t do that with Cas. Cas couldn’t be a casual hook-up, and he deserved better than a relationship with someone that had nothing to offer. So, what was the point in thinking about him or imagining any prospects for a future there? Instead, Dean let himself get angry or irritable, because that was somehow acceptable.

He could hear voices now out in the other room. Apparently Cas had company. Dean hunched over, intending to get up to go help out front, but his muscles fought him. He could feel the twitch of his pinched nerves, and that was enough to freeze him up right where he was.

There was a knock, and then Cas was in the room. “You done feeling sorry for yourself? We have customers.” Dean didn’t sit up. He wanted to. Cas was at his side. He immediately took Dean’s face in his hand the way he had so many times before when he would heal him. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

Dean was looking up at him now. The pain in his back was still there, but it was easing a little. “Got a pinched nerve in my back. It’ll pass. Don’t look so worried. I’m just old.”

Cas didn’t let him go. He looked upset. “I was trying to heal you just now. Forgot that I couldn’t.” His hand fell to his side.

“You’ve healed me enough for several lifetimes. This is just the price of being human.” Dean got up then. “We got some customers?” He pushed down the pain and gave Cas a half grin. It was more of a grimace, but Cas looked less worried, so Dean counted it a success.

“Yeah, a couple. I can handle both. You just rest.” Cas turned to go back out front.

Dean caught his arm though before he could go. “I can handle this. Give me a chance to catch up to you and Sam.”

Cas smiled and said, “Although that’s not likely, okay.”

Dean folded his hands together and cracked his fingers. “Challenge accepted.”

The massage was easy enough. The woman just wanted a half hour massage, Swedish, so light for the most part. Dean handled it well, and was able to ignore his own pain. Cas took the boyfriend and gave him a half hour deep tissue. Dean kept glancing at him as he worked. His arms were more muscular than they had been before, when he’d been an angel. Dean found it ironic. At the same time it made sense. He had strength that didn’t come from his vessel. Now he was human. Things were different. He worked out and ran. He beefed himself up for the cases.

It was easy to be distracted by a glance. Dean had to remember to look away every now and then. When the massage ended, he got his double, but so did Cas. He was no closer to beating either him or Sam today. He did feel a little pride though in the job he had done. They had no customers waiting, so Dean walked over to the overstuffed chair and fell into it. His muscles gave a little spasm of revolt. Dean winced, and Cas noticed. “You okay?”

Dean pushed down the pain, but it was no use lying. “I will give you literally one million dollars if you get me some pain meds or maybe just some Advil.”

Cas said, “I have no need for money.” He bent though and rummaged around behind the counter.

“Name your price then. I’m seriously desperate.” Dean tipped his head back and closed his eyes. He focused on the light that he’d been looking up at before he closed his eyes. The gently glowing orb of it was still present even past his eyelids. He felt a hand on his shoulder, right up next to his neck. A thumb rubbed subtly downward to meet the rest of the hand. Dean opened his eyes. Cas was looking down at him, compassion on his face, an angelic glow of light from overhead framing his form.

“Here.” Cas handed him four Advil capsules. “I’ll get you some water.”

“I’m good.” Dean tossed the pills into his mouth and dry swallowed them.

Cas looked disgusted. “You couldn’t wait ten seconds. Sometimes you’re just uncivilized.”

“Pain bad, pills now.” Dean smiled though to keep him from worrying.

Cas stepped back, and Dean regretted the loss of contact. “Come here. Let me fix you.”

“Pretty sure we established that you don’t have that ability anymore.”

Cas patted the massage table. “You’re right, I don’t have that ability. Thanks for the reminder.”  Cas tipped his head back, and Dean thought he needed to say something to fix this moment. Then Cas smiled and looked back at him. “What I do have, though, are a very particular set of skills.” He even gave his voice a little accent in his best impression of Liam Neeson from the movie Taken.

“Shit Cas, are you gonna smite me or something?” Dean got up slowly.

“I might. Can you get onto the table, or do you need help?”

Dean moved over to him and eased up onto the table. “So don’t do that deep tissue stuff. Pretty sure I can’t handle that right now.” Dean eased down onto the table. If he’d been thinking a bit more clearly, he would have declined Cas’ offer, but as it was he was hurting to the point of distraction.

Cas settled his hands on Dean’s back, and Dean felt him lean in next to his ear. “Despite the film reference, I do intend to be gentle with you.” Dean shivered a little as the words ghosted past his ear. Shit, this was a mistake. “Where does it hurt?”

“My lower back,” Dean answered. Cas’ hands ran down to Dean’s lower back. His thumbs pressed into the muscles there. Dean tightened up a little, but he did his best not to be obvious about it.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you.” Cas’ words came to him again from much too close. Dean controlled himself. He focused on the pressure of Cas’ hands on him. He was good at this. Dean was beginning to understand why he was making so much money from his customers. Dean was ready to hand him over whatever cash he had on him just to keep doing what he was doing. He was digging in the heels of his palms now in long strokes up and down his back. It felt like he was climbing up onto the table even and really putting his weight into some of it. Dean had seen him do that before with some of the customers. He was sure that Cas was doing the same with him, and he liked it. In fact he liked it a lot.

Time passed, and Dean hoped that no one would show up. He really didn’t want some stranger taking Cas away. He wasn’t feeling the pain as much. Cas was a bit of a miracle worker. “Shit, Cas. You’re good at this.”

“I know.”

“Humble too.” Dean laughed.

“Pretty sure you owe me.”

“Yeah, I’ll have to dig up that million dollars. Think you can give me a few days?”

Cas’ voice was back near his ear again as he pressed his palms into Dean’s shoulders. “Like I said before, I have no need for money.”

“Well, we’ve already established that I’m not as good at this massage business as you, so I’m pretty sure you don’t want me to return the favor.”

“Turn over,” Cas commanded.

“Why?”

“Because I told you to.” Cas waited.

Dean rolled over. Cas dropped the head rest and motioned for Dean to scoot down. “This is different.” Dean stared up at him. “You know my back was the problem right, not my…” Dean didn’t know how to finish the sentence at first, then seemed to find an end, “my front.”

“You act like you’ve never received a massage before.” Cas looked down at him, eyebrow cocked up.

“Course I have.” Dean paused a moment and thought a bit. “They all tended to just be foreplay, but I have absolutely been massaged.”

“So you’re telling me that the only times that you’ve been massaged have been during sex?” Cas was still staring down at him, eyebrow raised as he asked. He started sliding his hands under Dean’s shoulders.

“Well, not during sex per se.” Cas’ fingers were pressed upward into Dean’s back. His own weight now added to the experience. Dean closed his eyes as Cas’ fingers dug in just right. He let out a low moan of pleasure that he did not intend to share.

“Interesting.”

Dean opened his eyes. Cas was close again and leaning so that he could reach all the way down Dean’s back. Cas’ fingers were dipping just under the top of Dean’s pants to get at the muscles there. “What do you mean by ‘interesting’?”

Cas raked his fingers back up to Dean’s shoulders. God, that felt good. He wasn’t hurting anymore. It was all pleasure town now. “Just interesting.” At first Dean thought that he wouldn’t elaborate, and to be fair, Dean was feeling so good that he was willing to let that slide. Then Cas added, “You’ve only let people massage you if it was leading to sex. You view this as a sexual experience.”

“No.” Dean’s eyes opened again. Cas shrugged, but he kept doing what he was doing. Dean was going to make things clearer, but that might end the massage. He wasn’t sure what to do. “You think I’m expecting more here?”

“You did say you’d pay me.” Cas looked like he was fighting down a smile.

Dean rolled his eyes. “You ass.”  He laughed a little.

“Well, you did, and we did establish that I don’t need money and…”

Dean interrupted, “Okay, Romeo, funny.” Dean sat up and decided to change their course. “You really are a miracle worker. Nothing hurts now.”

“Good.” Cas stepped back and appraised him. “We need to do something about the sleeping arrangements. That bed is really not okay.”

“Yeah well, getting another room isn’t ideal either. Given how long we’ve been here and how long we might need to be here. That might eat up a ton of cash.”

Cas said, “I already offered up a solution, but you have issues.”

Dean got up off the table and stretched. Nothing popped. His body was relaxed and his muscles felt a little like jello. Dean turned back to Cas and saw that he was looking at him in a way that seemed pleased. His eyes held a hint of affection, and his smile was soft in the dim shop light. Cas moved closer and dragged his hand up Dean’s arm. Dean watched Cas’ hand, then croaked out, “I don’t have issues.”

“I think you do. If you didn’t, we’d have stopped doing this little dance years ago.” Cas leaned in closer.

A customer came in, and Dean stepped back. “Hey there, could I get a 20 minute?” A young guy in a button up asked as he moved toward the counter.

Cas said, “Of course.” He waved toward the table. “Lay face down on this table here.” He patted the table next to the one that Dean had been on previously. Dean knew that he should be doing this massage, but he was still dealing with Cas’ words. Cas just took over the job. Dean absently started straightening up the other table and then the counter that was already tidy.

Chapter Text

Sam came in that night, to help them out with the clean-up and to report out about his findings. He had on a pair of coveralls and a shit-eating grin on his face. “What’s up with you?” Dean asked.

“Nothing, just a good night is all.” Sam was at the register pulling money from the till to put into a deposit bag.

“Of course it was. Cas and I are professionals.”

Cas piped up then with, “Well, one of us is.”

Dean threw a wad of rags at him. He’d been using them to dust. Cas caught them and threw them back. “I totally pulled my weight. I had so many doubles.”

Cas came over to him and set a hand on his shoulder. “Yes you did. You did good.” He smiled at Dean like he was trying to pacify him.

Dean looked at his brother. “Don’t listen to him. I absolutely had as many, if not more doubles.”

Sam laughed at them and closed the till. “I honestly don’t care how many you had. This take is great. You all should work all the shifts if it’s gonna be like this.” Sam came around to the front of the register. “You two ready to close up and get out? I’m beat.”

“Sure, but Cas and I were thinking that we should look around a bit before leaving. Sarah’s on duty tonight, and she won’t mind us snooping around,” Dean said. Sarah was Cas’ security guard friend. Most of the good information that they had gotten on the disappearances had come from her.

“You guys mind if I head back to the motel? I’m not sure that I’d be good for anything at this point,” Sam said.

“No problem. Cas and I got this. You gonna need food?” Dean asked.

“No, I’ll just grab something on the way back to the motel.”

Sam unzipped the bag and handed some of the cash to Cas. “What’s this for?” Cas asked.

“Take Dean out to dinner. He looks starving after his hard day working.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Half that’s mine.”

“Sure it is,” Cas said with a smirk.

Dean got the EMF reader from Sam before they ventured out. The mall had an eerie vibe now that the crowds were gone and the lights were out. The Christmas music was still playing, and Dean wondered if it would get turned off. “Not sure I’m liking this place at night.”

“We’ve been here at night before,” Cas said as they rounded the corner to look at the elf workshop display.

“It’s different when the crowds are gone.” Dean came down into a crouch next to one of the oversized presents in the display. “It’s just like one of those liminal spaces or something.”

“Liminal?”

Dean stood back up and faced a large cartoonish elf that was hammering at a toy train. “Yeah, like those in between places.”

Cas hummed and moved around to the other side of the display. “Sam said that the guy in the hospital, Mark, he was talking tonight.”

“Really? When did Sam tell ya that?”

“You were putting away the towels. Sam didn't get anything new out of him. Mark said there was a ghost, and that she made Kurt disappear.” Cas shrugged. “It wasn’t anything we didn’t already know, thanks to Sarah’s surveillance footage.”

“Yup, Sarah’s just great.” Dean started wandering off toward the other end of the mall, leaving Cas behind. He wasn’t sure why he was so irritated all of a sudden, but something in his gut just felt all twisted up.

Cas stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me.” Dean realized that he was acting weird even as he said it. “I was just…” He tipped his head back for a moment. “I might be really hungry. Sorry.”

“Let’s get out of here then. We can come back and look at the displays later on a full stomach.”

“Sarah might not be here then though.”

“So what. We’ll figure it out. You need food.”

They drove out to the other end of town, past suburbs and tiny strip malls. Dean pulled into one of them and parked in front of a lively looking Chinese food restaurant. There were customers coming out with large boxes of take out and warm light was spilling from the large picture window.

They got out of the car and Dean said, “Saw this place online and thought it might be good.”

“Certainly looks popular.” Cas moved to his side and they walked to the door. “Should we take the food back to the motel or eat it here?”

“Here. I'm starving.” Dean held open the door, and Cas passed through. A hostess came over and directed them to a cozy table in the back. Dean's eyes roamed around the room. Everyone was a couple. This was a date spot.

He shouldn't have been surprised. All of the reviews said as much when he found the place online. Still, it was one thing to read it and another thing to see it while sitting in a booth with Cas.

“This is nicer than our usual choices.” Cas smiled at him, and Dean felt full of nervous energy. He smiled back and opened up his menu to give himself a distraction. When the waitress came to get them drinks, Cas ordered a tea. Dean ordered a beer. “I see you over there judging my drink order.”

“Never did understand tea. Tastes like wet plants. Just gross.” Dean set down the menu. “Do we want to get a few things to share? Was thinking the beef and broccoli.”

“General Chicken would be good.” Cas slid over closer to Dean. “How about this too?” He pointed at a noodle dish on Dean's menu.

Dean felt the closeness, the warmth of him all pressed up against him. “Sounds good.” Cas smelled like the cedar soap that Sam put in the bathroom at the shop. Dean found himself pressing back into Cas, seeking out more points of contact. “Will this be enough?”

“Maybe some egg rolls too.” Cas was still smiling like he knew something secret.

“What's got you so happy?”

“It was a really good day.” With that he leaned back into his own space, leaving Dean a little cold in his absence.

“Human for just under a year and already you’re a capitalist.” Dean closed the menu and set it aside.

“Not so much. I just like the feeling of a day like today. I was busy, and I helped people.”

“I guess it was pretty awesome.” The waitress came back with their drinks and took their order. There were a few moments of silence that passed between them as Cas fiddled with his tea cup. “You think we’ll be able to get back in tonight?” Dean asked to bridge the silence.

“I’m not concerned. If it doesn’t work out tonight, there’s always tomorrow. Sarah works then too.”

Dean felt the little bubble of irritation in his gut again. He did his best not to let it show. “I guess she never gets a day off.”

Cas raised a brow at him, and asked, “Why don’t you like her?”

“She’s fine.”

Cas moved back into Dean’s space again and lowered his voice into an almost whisper. “Do you think that she’s the one making people disappear?” He stared at Dean from too close. “I can assure you that she’s done nothing to stir up any suspicions.” Cas looked worried though. “You are the expert though.”

Dean swallowed and looked away for a moment. When he turned his gaze back to Cas, still so close, and he said, “I haven’t picked up anything about her, but it never hurts to be a little cautious.”

“Right. I just feel like she’s been entirely forthcoming, but I’ll do my best to look out for any signs that she’s less than what she seems.” Cas looked a little unhappy, and Dean wondered if he should say something positive about Sarah, steer him away from the upsetting feelings he was having. Then Cas added, “I thought you might have been having feelings of jealousy where she was concerned. I’m glad to know that it was just concern for our case.”

“I wasn’t jealous,” Dean said, a little too loudly. Cas raised a hand and set it on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m not.”

“I just acknowledged that,” Cas said with an eye roll. “Although, maybe I was a little premature in my assumption.” He gave Dean’s shoulder a squeeze and moved back to his end of the booth again. Dean didn’t know what to say, so he just focused on his beer. Time passed as Dean stewed. Cas finally ended the silence. “It’s been difficult.”

Dean looked at him, taking in his squint, and general look of frustration. “What has?”

“Being human. It’s been a lot to process, and I’m sure that I’ve been misinterpreting things all along the way.”

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean reached over and gave Castiel’s shoulder a little squeeze. Apparently this was how it was going to be between them, totally platonic shoulder touches instead of what Dean really wanted. He didn’t want to mess things up though, and his track record was full of key errors and endings. Shoulders were safe. “I wish I could fix that for you.”

“I wouldn’t change things. I just…” Cas took in a deep breath and tipped his head back against the booth seat. “I just wish I knew what you were thinking sometimes.”

“Huh?” Then the egg rolls came to the table, and they had a distraction.

Cas picked one up and took a bite, only to realize that it was scorching hot. He quickly set it back on the plate and did the huffy breathing around the mouthful to try to cool it down. Dean did his best not to laugh at Cas’ puffed out cheeks and obvious distress, but he failed. “I might change this moment,” Cas said once he finally swallowed down the food.

“Well, at least I was entertained.” Dean laughed and went for his own egg roll, hoping to not lose a layer of taste buds in the process.

Cas watched him, likely wondering if Dean’s experiences would mirror his own. Once Dean was committed to his too big bite Cas said, “I wish I could change some things about the past. I wish I could undo some of the hurt I’ve brought to you and to others that I care about.”

This time Dean moved closer. “I’m not hurting. You don’t need to feel any regrets where I’m concerned.” Dean waited a beat, and seeing no change to Cas’ outward feelings, went on, “You’ve always done what you thought was for the best. I know you had good intentions.”

“Well, we both know what they say about good intentions.”

Dean took a sip of beer, then said, “Yeah, but you’ve done far more for this world than you’ve done against it. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, so I’m plenty glad that you march to the beat of a different drummer.”

“I hope that at the end of things, I’ll have done enough good to make up for the bad. I owe the world much.”

The silence stretched again, and Dean let it. He felt much the same about his own choices. The world was certainly better for having him in it. Seeing the apocalypse world told him that. Still, so many had died because of his choices. Even Cas had died for choosing Dean over a simpler life in heaven. Angels were dicks though, so he couldn’t say he regretted Cas’ choice so much. “Do you regret it, being human now?”

Cas seemed to think about it, and something about the silent contemplation made Dean’s stomach tie up in knots. Then Cas spoke. “I should regret it. It’s a lot of power to give up.” He sighed then and added, “I don’t though. I got more out of falling than I ever thought possible.” The food came then, and Dean was left to wonder what Cas had really gotten. Seemed like a shitty deal if Dean was being honest. Sharing a bunker with a bunch of hunters, chasing down demons and other monsters, getting old. None of that sounds like an upgrade. “Dean,” Cas snapped his fingers in front of Dean’s face. “Eat.” He pointed at the steaming platter of food in front of Dean.

Dean dug in. His head a swirl of disjointed thoughts on Cas and the life he chose.

The meal was good. They left in better spirits. Dean cracked a joke as they were leaving and got Cas laughing. He set an arm up on his shoulders and pulled him into a half hug. “We should absolutely do this more often.”

Cas laughed, “What, get too serious, then eat our weight in food?”

“I don’t know.” Dean laughed and then said, “Yeah, I guess that’s exactly what I mean. We should do exactly this,” Dean waved his hand around, “way more often.”

“Anytime, Dean.” Cas’ eyes caught the light from the streetlamp in a way that almost made them glow. Dean remembered what it was like to have them turned to him with all that power glowing in them. Now they were just human eyes but still blue and somehow soothing. “You keep staring at me like that and I’ll have to assume you have intentions.”

Dean laughed and let him go. “Come on you nut. Sam’s likely waiting up for us.”

They got in the car and Cas said, “If we’re lucky Sam’s awake. He’s been snoring lately, and I’d like to be asleep before the Sam chorus.”

“Tell me about it.” Dean started the car and headed back toward the motel. “At least you’ll have a comfy night’s sleep in the real bed.”

“Offer still stands.”

“What offer?” Dean glanced at him then back at the road.

“Just the one where I said I’d share with you. The bed’s plenty big enough.”

“I’m good,” Dean said. He wasn’t. He could feel his hands sweating with the thought of it all.

“Suit yourself.” Then under his breath Cas added, “Stubborn.”

Dean responded, “I’m not stubborn. You took the shit bed. It’s my turn. No big.”

Cas stared straight ahead, and Dean wondered if he’d won the moment. Dean decided not to head back to the mall. Cas didn’t complain. They pulled into the motel parking lot and Dean shut off the car. Cas turned in his seat to face Dean. “The biggest regret I have is ruining Jimmy’s family, taking him away from them.”

It came out of nowhere, but the night had been full of deep moments. “He made quite the sacrifice saying yes.” Dean couldn’t disagree much with the shitty hand that Jimmy had been dealt.

“That he did. I should have found a way to give him back to his family.” Cas rolled his head over onto the seatback and continued to stare at Dean from this cock-eyed perspective. “I regret killing so many angels.”

“I suppose most of them regret trying to kill you,” Dean tried to give Cas something there.

“I spent years searching for you in Hell, and it wasn’t until we’d lost most of our garrison, that I left the others behind to find you. I was supposed to follow orders. I was meant to back up other more capable angels, but they failed at every turn. I left them to die so that I might find you.” Cas licked his lips. “I carry their deaths.”

Dean leaned his head to the side, angled it to mirror Cas’. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He reached out and set his hand on Dean’s leg. “I don’t regret leaving them. I just regret that they died in my wake. It's just more death that I am responsible for. Finding you, saving you, that’s never been a regret.”

Dean considered the miniscule gap between them, the taste of Cas that he could have. He licked his lips and let his eyes linger. The warmth of Cas’ hand on his leg was comfort. “I live with regrets too.” Dean glanced out the windshield of the car toward their room. Sam would surely be asleep by now. The lights were off. “I regret taking the Mark of Cain.” Dean swallowed.

“You did it to rid us of Abaddon. She might not have been killable otherwise.” Cas squeezed his leg in emphasis.

“Maybe. We’ll never know because I was impetuous. I leap before I look. I said yes to Michael.”

“To save your brother and Jack.”

Dean laughed a quiet mirthless laugh. “Yeah, but look how many died in their place.” Dean closed his eyes. “I regret a little of everything that has caused others to die.”

Cas nodded. “In that we are the same.” The silence lingered as they stared at each other. “It is also why I feel guilty for falling, for choosing to be human.”

“You gave up who you were, your power, your grace. It wasn't a reward.”

Cas’ lip curled up into a half smile. “In that you are quite wrong. I fell because I wanted to be human. Falling was selfish. There is a shortage of angels in heaven, suffering in the world that I could have helped to alleviate with my powers, but I chose this.”

Dean tried to understand. It never felt like a choice. It felt like sacrifice. “You did it to save people. It wasn't selfish.”

“It was the first solution I thought of because it was what I wanted. Any other angel would have found another way.”

Dean could feel the breath of Cas’ confession ghosting over his face. “Why?”

“Would I want this?” Cas finished the question for him. Dean nodded. “I thought that it was obvious.”

“Clearly no.”

Cas let his thumb slide back and forth on Dean's leg, reminding him of the hand that had taken up residence there. “Maybe if you think about it for a little longer, you'll figure it out.” With that, Cas got out of the car and strolled over to the room. Dean lingered and watched him go.

The next day Dean woke up with a spring stabbing him in the back. Sam was out and Cas was in the shower. It was unusual for Dean to be the last one up. Truth be told, he was hurting too much to roll on out of bed.

The bathroom door opened and Cas came out with so much stream that Dean asked, “Leave any hot water?”

Cas looked back into the bathroom and said, “Maybe give it a few minutes.” His eyes grazed over Dean. “You're hurting.” It wasn't a question.

“Bed's still shit.”

“Can you get up?” Cas moved closer to the bed and stared down at him. Small droplets of water glistened on his skin. The towel around Cas’ waist hung on to sharp hips by some miracle.

“I'm trying,” Dean admitted. He managed to sit up on the edge of the bed. “Success,” he said a little mockingly.

“Come here.” Cas held out a hand to him and pulled him up. Dean grimaced past the pain. “Tonight you are taking half of either mine or Sam's bed. No arguing.” He looked quite serious, so Dean didn't argue. “Lay down here, face down.”

“I'm already up, I might as well get ready.”

“Sam went in. Said he had some extra energy to burn or something. Told me that we should rest up and come in late.”

“Still, laying down doesn't seem like it'll help.”

Cas gently pushed him down onto the bed. “I think you are confused about how this is going to go. Stop arguing with me and just lay down.”

Dean laid down on his back. It stirred something in him to be told what to do. He liked it particularly when it was Cas telling him what to do. He shut down that train of thought and tried to concentrate past the pain in his lower back. “It should pass once I get in the shower.”

“Maybe, but I’m going to see if I can help it on its way first.” Cas sat next to Dean’s supine form. “Now roll over onto your stomach.” Dean did as he was told.

First Dean felt the warm drag of Cas’ fingers running up his spine then back down. It was a gentle, featherlight touch that made his skin tingle. Cas seemed to be tracing his muscles as if to figure out the lay of the land before committing to the massage that Dean knew was coming. “You don’t have to do this Cas.”

“I want to.” He began kneading the flesh just beneath Dean’s shoulders. “Too much pressure?”

“No.” Dean let out a breath of air he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “It feels great, just like last time.”

“Good.” Cas worked the muscles all the way down to Dean’s lower back, then asked, “Would it be okay if I straddled you a little? I could put my weight into the massage, and I think it would feel better for you.”

“Uh,” Dean’s brain was misfiring all over the place. “What do ya mean?”

There was a pause. “Just a second.” Cas’ hands weren’t on him anymore, and Dean turned his head to see where he’d gone. Turned out he hadn’t gone far at all. He was standing between the beds, putting on a pair of boxers and sweatpants. Dean got an eyeful of Cas in that moment, and didn’t know how to look away. Cas didn’t seem concerned, in fact he may have been grinning down at the effect he was having on Dean. He climbed back onto the bed, then threw one leg on either side of Dean, sitting slightly on Dean’s butt as he did so. “Didn’t think you’d want me doing this in just my towel.”

“Good thinking,” Dean’s voice cracked a little as he said it. Cas’ hands were back on him again, and the pressure was glorious. Dean moaned into the pillow, and Cas chuckled a little. Dean muttered, “Almost makes the crap bed worthwhile.” Then Cas was doing something magical involving his elbows and Dean’s lower back.

“I’m gonna take that as the best compliment, because I know what that bed is.” Cas’ voice practically sang with mirth.

Dean was impressed by his own resolve, because here he was with Cas kneeling over his ass, pressing pleasure into all of his sore muscles, and he wasn’t entirely losing control. He’d imagined a moment like this but with far less clothing. It was far from platonic, and Dean could very easily see this moment turning a very similar corner. “Cas,” Dean found himself accidentally groaning into the pillow.

Cas must have dipped down, because his voice was close to Dean’s ear now. “Dean.”

“We really shouldn’t make Sam work there for too long.” Dean just went with that, the pleasure ending sentence that allowed his brother to be a cockblock even when he wasn’t in the room with them.

Cas dragged his fingers down the entirety of Dean’s back two more times, grazing the lowest portion of what might not really be his back anymore. He raked his fingers up into Dean’s hair, and Dean hoped this would be a thing that went on for awhile. It didn’t though. Cas rolled himself off of Dean. Dean turned his head to face him. Cas bent down and picked up the towel he’d been wearing. He twisted it and gave Dean a quick snap on the ass with the end of it. “Get up, and get ready.”

Dean had already forgotten that he was the one that ended it. “Do I have to?”

Cas cocked his head to the side and said, “Are all humans as confusing as you?”

“Huh.”

Cas just rolled his eyes. “You are the king of mixed signals. Go take your damn shower.” Cas snapped Dean in the ass again with the towel.

“Ouch.” Dean got up though and stretched for the low popcorn ceiling. “Not my fault that you are good at this whole massage thing.” Cas got another snap in as Dean moved toward the bathroom door.

“Don’t take all day.”

They made it through another day. The sound of Christmas music seemed to be louder in the mall, almost like it had to compete with the noise of all the children being hauled around by their mothers. It would be Thanksgiving in just a few days and after that, Black Friday. They had plans to work that day, because the money was bound to be good. Tonight though, they’d stay until the place was clear and look for signs of their ghost or whatever it was that was making people disappear.

Cas took care of the money and locked it up in the safe in the back. Dean was running the carpet sweeper over the floor. The phone rang, so he set the sweeper aside and answered it. “Hello, Hilltop Massage Studio,” Dean said.

“It’s Sarah,” she paused and then added, “is Cas there?”

“Uh, yeah. You okay?”

“I’m fine. He just asked me if I’d be working tonight, and I wanted to check in with him.”

Dean called back toward the office. “Hey, Cas. Sarah’s on the phone.” Cas came out of the room and strolled over to the counter. “Here he is.” Dean passed the phone over to him.

Cas barely said anything, just a string of ‘uh-huhs’ and ‘yeahs’ filled his end of the conversation. He hung up and turned to Dean. “Ready?”

“So she’s available?”

Cas came around to the slide up door. “Of course. She’s meeting us here.”

“Oh,” Dean snagged his coat from the coat rack and put it on. He followed Cas out the door. He hadn’t spent much time with the woman. That had been Cas’ territory. She knew about the supernatural though. Cas had been quite honest with her after they watched the security footage. There was no lying about what was happening there. It was plenty obvious. Still.

Cas pulled the door down behind them and locked up. Dean saw Sarah rounding the corner. “You almost didn’t have to call. You could have just come on over,” Dean said.

“Just didn’t want to come on down to this boring end of the mall unless you all were gonna be here. Waited around for you two last night.” Sarah had her hair all tucked up into a ball cap with the security logo on the front. She looked annoyed, her lips pursed together.

“Sorry about that,” Cas offered. “I took Dean out to dinner, and we lost track of time.”

Sarah looked to Dean then back at Cas. “Oh,” she said as she looked back at Dean. “You two are a couple?”

Dean was about to deny it, but then Cas took his hand and said, “Going on six years.” Cas squeezed his hand and added, “Ever since Rexford and the most honorable honor bar.” He smiled, and Dean could read in his eyes that this was a story that he needed to go along with.

“Yeah, Cas and me, me and Cas, yep.” It was weak, but it would do.

“Huh,” Sara started heading to the center of the mall and waved for them to follow her. “Totally didn’t pick up on the gay vibe.”

“You really haven’t spent much time with me when Dean’s around. It would have been obvious.” Cas was grinning ear to ear now. “I never did get the memo on personal space where Dean’s concerned.”

Dean choked a little. “You little shit.” Dean squeezed his hand back.

Sarah handed Cas a stack of papers. “So I did a little digging about the stuff you were asking about.”

“About the construction and the site?” Cas asked.

“Yeah,” Sarah said and they stopped in front of the main Santa display. Cas let go of Dean’s hand and turned through the pages. “The building materials aren’t that interesting until you get to page three.”

Cas turned to page three. “Oh, they shipped in items from Greece.” It came across as almost a question. “They used it to form the pillars here.” Cas looked up at the pillars that framed the center of the mall. The whole mall had an ancient Greek temple kind of vibe. “I wonder if we could narrow down the region a little more.”

“The receipts on the back tell where the products came from and the name of the vendor.”

Cas turned to the copies of the receipts and ran a finger down the page. Dean looked over his shoulder. “Getting any ideas?” Dean asked.

“Eleusis. We’re going to have to look into this. There are many Greek entities that could be involved.” Cas turned to Sarah and asked, “Do you think the owners knew what they were doing?”

“No, they seem pretty oblivious to most things.” Sarah walked over to one of the columns and seemed to study it. “They don’t look like anything too special. Maybe I’ve just gotten use to them though.”

Cas came to her side. “It might not be the look of them but the materials used to create them.” He glanced back over his shoulder to Dean. “I wonder if the same materials are going into the new wing that Sam’s working on.”

“We’ll need to ask him.” Dean stepped away and made the call. Sam picked up right away. “Hey, Sam. Do you know anything about the materials being used in the new construction?”

“Nothing exciting. Why?”

“Seems the columns in the main part of the mall are made from some materials that came from Greece. The region made Cas’ spidey senses tingle.”

“Huh, which region?” Dean could hear Sam tapping on the keys to his laptop even over the phone. “Place called Eleusis.”

Sam sucked in a breath. “Oh, that’s important.”

“You got something?” Dean asked.

“Don’t even have to look it up. It's near Athens. That’s where the Eleusinian Mysteries were performed. They were the rituals surrounding the worship of Demeter, Persephone, and sometimes Dionysus.” Sam sounded quite confident.

“So why would any of them start snatching people?” Dean asked.

“Don’t know.”

There was silence for a moment. Dean looked off toward Sarah and Cas who were still looking at the columns. Sarah set her hand on Cas’ arm and smiled at him. Dean didn’t like it. Dean grumbled a little bit, apparently loud enough for Sam to hear.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Nothing. We’ll bring food back. We can talk it out.” Dean hung up and moved toward them.

Dean sensed that something was off a moment before it became obvious to everyone else. The columns began to glow, bright and golden. High up above them a woman took shape, hair billowing out around her head. Her eyes glowed brighter than the rest of her. “Thief,” she said.

Cas stood in front of Sarah. Dean came to his side. Neither of them had any weapons. Sarah whimpered behind them. Dean took a step forward. “Hey lady!” he yelled. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Dean, I don’t think that we should antagonize the maybe goddess,” Cas said.

She spread her arms wide and said, “I’ve been called to this place. And you are a thief.” She pointed at Sarah with a long, slender finger. A golden light surrounded Sarah.

“Please stop. She hasn’t done anything,” Cas begged. There was seemingly nothing they could do. Sarah tried to run, but the light seemed to hold her in place.

“Cas!” Sarah reached for him. Cas took her hand. Dean came to her other side and took her other hand. The golden woman quieted, and the light diminished. A moment passed and the woman faded to nothing.

“What the hell?” Dean finally breathed out into the quiet.

Chapter Text

Sarah didn’t want them to leave, so they stayed with her until the morning. Sam would take the next shift so they could finally sleep. They practically crawled back into the motel at dawn. Sam wasn’t even up yet. Cas started pulling off clothes and leaving a trail all the way to his bed.

“Don’t leave your shit everywhere,” Dean whispered. He stooped and started picking up each item. He piled them up on the dresser. Dean started undressing too. He sat on the edge of the pull-out bed and pulled off his shoes.

Cas came over and hovered over him, looking like he was dead on his feet. Sam grunted from his bed and rolled over to face the window. Cas moved off to the bathroom and closed the door between them. Dean finished changing. He raked a hand up through his hair and yawned. When Cas came back out to the room, Dean was just about to slide into the horrible bed. The springs gave up an angry squeal.

Cas came to him again, but this time he reached down and took Dean’s hand. He pulled him up from the bed, and Dean was just tired enough to let him get away with this. Cas directed him to the other side of his bed and pulled back the covers. He patted the bed and turned to go to his own side. Dean got in. He could already feel his body melting into the mattress. Dean closed his eyes for just a moment, then opened them as Cas got into the other side of the bed. Cas rolled onto his side and faced Dean. Cas’ eyes began to droop a little with sleepiness. Dean thought that it should feel funny being watched from so close as he fell asleep, but it was Cas, and he often got away with such things.

“Goodnight, Dean,” Cas whispered.

“Goodnight, Cas,” Dean whispered back.

Afternoon came and with it the warm comfort of waking slowly. Dean rolled onto his side and scooted back into the warmth that was wrapped around him. There was an arm around him, a hand placed square on his chest. He’d have stayed half asleep in this blissful arrangement if it hadn’t been for the extra weight of a leg that was unceremoniously tossed over his own.

Now Dean was rather awake, and yet unwilling to let that be known. Cas was breathing softly into the back of his neck. It was soft like a kiss. Dean nuzzled back into Cas a bit more. He knew he shouldn’t, but he could feign sleep if need be. He closed his eyes again and let all the little points of contact have his focus. Cas was all hard lines and muscles. Dean wanted to nuzzle up a little more. He didn’t. Cas tightened his hold on Dean, fingers gripping Dean’s t-shirt.

“Just keep pretending that you’re asleep,” Cas whispered into him.

Dean didn’t speak right away. He couldn’t move either, or he’d let on to the fact that he really was awake. Instead he gradually hummed out a reply, stretched, and disentangled himself from Cas. “Ya damn octopus.” He smiled as he said it.

Cas rolled onto his back. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages.” He winked at Dean. “Probably should have asked you to share my bed before.”

Dean got up with a laugh. “What happened to the angel that ran out of the brothel with a look of terror on his face?”

Cas got up and blocked his path to the bathroom. He took a step toward Dean. Dean moved back against the wall. “He became human, and he figured out a few things about attraction that changed his mindset.” He was close, so close that the moment felt both intimidating and intimate.

“You don’t say,” Dean breathed out. He didn’t know what else to do in the moment.

“Do you ever think that we might need to talk about things?” Cas let his eyes drop between them. Dean followed his gaze.

“Um, I don’t know what you mean.”

Cas dragged a hand up Dean’s arm. “You are frustrating.”

“Uh, Cas, what’s going on with you?” Dean knew, absolutely knew what this was. It was as blatant a flirtation as any he’d ever received, but it couldn’t work. Cas just didn’t get that. Denial was the only way to go here...for Cas.

Cas stepped away. “One of these days, maybe, I’ll let the last bit of my self-esteem crumble. I’ll stop waiting for you to figure yourself out, throw myself headlong into whatever rejection you cobble together to keep yourself from getting what you want.”

Dean sucked in a breath and Cas stepped away. “I don’t understand.”

“You keep saying that, pretending that. Maybe just don’t.” Cas turned for the bathroom and shut himself in.

Dean tipped his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He wondered if he’d made a mistake, if this path he kept running down was selfish, cruel. Cas’ eyes had burned into him. They were sad eyes that just wanted more than Dean was giving. He hadn't asked Dean for that though, not directly. Dean pushed it aside. He quickly got dressed and left the motel room. He had some toiletries at the shop. He’d fix himself up there.

Cas showed up an hour later, grumbling out a hello to Sam. Dean was in the back, totally not eavesdropping. “Assumed you and Dean would arrive together.”

“Maybe if Dean had decided to wait for me instead of running off that would have happened.” Cas threw open the office door and caught Dean standing there on the other side.

“Didn’t want Sam to be stuck here alone,” Dean said. His feeble attempt at a response drew Cas into the office. He kicked the door closed behind him. “Cas,” Dean started.

“Don’t Cas me.” He was pacing the office space now, and Dean didn’t know what to do. Cas snapped around and faced him again. “You know, never mind. I thought we’d have it out. I’d tell you. But no. I’m not gonna let you.”

“Not gonna let me what?”

Cas pushed past him. “I’ve made things abundantly clear. The least you can do is meet me halfway, a quarter of the way even.” He marched back out into the shop. Dean finally remembered to breathe. He came out to find Sam alone.

“Where’d Cas go?”

“Said he needed a break. Went to get coffee.” Sam came over to him. “What’d you do now?”

“Hell if I know,” Dean said as he slumped down into one of the chairs in the waiting area.

“You two were really cozy when I left. Did you freak out at him or something?”

Sam saw that. “He said I’m frustrating and then refused to explain that. He’s just in a funk. Last night with Sarah was rough.”

“Pretty sure this wasn’t about Sarah.” Sam came over and set his hand on Dean’s shoulder then took a seat next to him. “You care about him right?”

“Of course I care about Cas. He’s family,” Dean said with a slight rise in tone.

“He’s more than that to you. Don’t forget, I was around when you were mourning. I know what it looked like when you thought that he was dead. It was like you lost the most important thing in the universe. You gave up on everything. Then he came back. It’s been a lot since then. You two haven’t had any time to just sort your shit.”

“Of course I was miserable when we lost him.”

“Dean.” Sam leveled his gaze on him like he was almost sad. “I was sad when we lost him too. It was like losing a brother or a brother-in-law.” He gave Dean an encouraging nod, but Dean said nothing. “It was much more intense for you than losing a brother or even a friend.”

“I’m not sure what this has to do with Cas being mad at me. He thinks I’m frustrating. Well, he’s way more frustrating.” Dean knew he sounded whiney. He looked away from Sam.

“You never told him how it was when he was gone, never let him know what it did to you. He told me that you two talked about how it was good that he was back, but I know you. I know you didn’t tell him all of it. All he’s getting from you is anger at his clothes’ changing habits, and the patented Dean Winchester avoidance techniques. This isn’t sustainable. Cas lives with us.” Sam set a hand on Dean’s leg and gave it a pat. “Of course maybe that’s what you’re after. Maybe you’re telling yourself that if you push too hard, one day he’ll up and leave. You want that?”

“Sam,” Dean started. “I am not good at sticking things out. I’ve never been much good at even imagining the whole apple pie life. I want that for you. I want you to find some girl and a life. I tried doing that when I lost you. Someone had to carry on. Lisa and Ben were like my effort at making that life happen, the one you said we should have. Clearly that worked out great.”

“This is different though.”

Dean interrupted, “No, Sam. I’m still me.” He didn’t get to elaborate. A couple came in for a massage. They dropped the conversation, plastered smiles on their faces and set to work.

They closed up early. Sam claimed that they really needed to do research. They couldn’t argue with that. The shop after all was secondary to their purposes of being in the mall. Dean was starting to see it as something else though, the routine that wasn’t about killing monsters and running from or to death. They decided to work in the library downtown. They took up a small table in the back and Sam logged onto their wifi and passed the computer to Dean before marching off to the mythology section. It felt like the bunker before the crowds of hunters filled up the spaces.

“I’m sorry,” Cas said over his own laptop.

Dean looked up at him and said, “Sam and I talked. Apparently, I’m actually frustrating.”

“I doubt Sam means it the same way,” Cas said as he looked down at his screen. “Still, I shouldn’t have brought any of it up. It was wrong.”

“He reminded me that there’s stuff you don’t know, stuff that happened while you were gone the last time.”

“What do you mean?”

Dean closed the laptop. “When you died, I lost it. I fell apart. It was like I lost the will to live. I was cruel to Jack. I went on a case with Sam and even crossed over to talk with Billie.”

“You died?” Cas closed his laptop and looked anguished. “Dean.”

“I told myself that it was for the case, that I needed to save the spirits in that house, but it wasn’t. I wanted to be done. I never told Sam, but I’m sure he knew. If you hadn’t come back, I don’t know how much longer I’d have made it.” It was a lot to admit. Dean drummed at the table. Cas reached across and covered both of Dean’s hands.  Dean didn’t look up.

“I’m sorry.” Cas’s voice was low. Dean looked up at him then. “I’m here now though.”

“I am not easy to be around.”

“You’re easy enough.”

Dean gave Cas a half grin. “Thanks.” He turned his hands over in Cas’ and gave them a squeeze. “Thanks for always meeting me where I am.” He swallowed and added, “Even when it is frustrating.”

They went back to the shop and worked for a few hours. It was looking like they were getting nowhere. The library research time gave them nothing that they didn’t already know about Demeter, Persephone, or Dionysus. Cas knew more than the books told, and the internet proved to only reiterate the same tales.

Demeter was the goddess of corn and barley. She had a daughter, Persephone, connected to spring and all that seemed to embody that life giving season. She was stolen from her life by the god of the Underworld, Hades. Because of that, the Greeks claimed, we now have seasons. Demeter kept the crops from growing in the winter until her daughter was returned to her.

The Greeks worshipped Dionysus and Demeter with a deeper sort of devotion than other gods as they seemed to suffer and even die again and again. Dean felt a certain kinship with that.

Cas interrupted his thoughts with more on the case, “Perhaps the building materials came from a temple of hers.”

“Then we can’t fix that,” Sam said. “At least not without tearing the place down.”

“Maybe there's another way,” Cas mused aloud. “There must be a reason that she's doing this, if it even is her.”

“We need to figure out what these victims have in common too,” Dean added.

They talked it through and seemed to come out of it with nothing. Then Sam said, “What was it that you said she said to Sarah?”

“She called her a thief,” Cas said.

Sam hummed a bit and seemed to be thinking about that. “Was she stealing something?”

“Not that I could see. We were just standing there, looking at the columns.” Cas looked to Dean then. “Maybe we should ask her about her past. Maybe she has stolen something before.”

Dean shrugged and said, “Maybe.”

Cas headed for the door. “I'm going to go find her and ask.” With that he was out the door.

“You thinking you should go with him?” Sam asked.

“Always,” Dean grumbled, then seemed to realize that he'd said it out loud. “Nah, Cas can handle this.”

Sam went down another path. “What do you think of Sarah?”

“She's okay, a little handsy.” Dean shrugged again and added, “But she's fine.”

“What do you mean by handsy ?” Sam asked.

“It's nothing.”

Sam's voice took on a deeper tone. “So we're going to risk her life and maybe other people's lives because you don't want to explain?”

“It's nothing Sam. No Greek goddess would take the time to care about whether or not a girl was interested in Cas.”

“Sarah's interested in Cas?”

“Like I said it's nothing.” Dean wasn't looking at Sam. He busied himself with the closing rituals they went through. Sam stood in front of him at the counter. “What?”

“What was she doing just before the goddess showed up?”

“Nothing, Sam. She was standing next to Cas, looking at a column.”

“How close were they?” Sam asked.

Dean swallowed and said, “She had her hand on his arm.”

“And why do you think she's interested in him?”

Dean threw his arms out at his sides. “You can just tell. She's flirty with him. She toned it down a little when Cas said we were a couple.”

“Wait, what? You two are…” Sam started gesturing by mushing his hands together, seemingly to signify some sort of coming together. “When did that happen?”

Dean didn’t fall apart with embarrassment, which was a little amazing for him. “It didn't. He was just making that up, likely to get her to back off a little.” Dean's hands were sweating. He wiped them on his pants.

After a too long pause, Sam said, “So, she was stealing your boyfriend.”

“Cas isn't my boyfriend, and she wasn't stealing him.”

“What made the goddess stop?”

“Don't know. We held Sarah's hands and got between her and the goddess.”

Sam hummed again. “Maybe that act made it look like you approved of her.”

“That only makes sense if Cas is mine.”

Sam just smiled. Then he said, “Isn't he?” Sam walked out of the shop before Dean could deny it.

They came back together that night and ate in the motel room. It was Cas’ turn on the pull-out, but when Cas stood next to it, eyeing it with disgust, Dean said, “Don't even think about it.” Then he nodded toward the bed they'd shared the night before. “It's plenty big enough.”

Cas’ lips ticked up into a half grin. “Plenty big enough.”

Dean got into the bed and opened up a laptop to keep researching. Mostly, he just didn't want Sam to get another eyeful of him and Cas laying too close to each other. That just turns into conversations and words he can't take back.

Sam came out of the bathroom, freshly showered. He looked at the bed with the two of them propped up at the headboard staring at their laptops. “Aren't you two cute?”

Dean just rolled his eyes at him. He said, “You know, some of us are busy researching a case.”

“Did you learn anything new?” Sam asked.

“No,” Cas responded. “Honestly, I’m just not seeing how any of this makes sense. Why would Demeter go after Sarah?”

“Oh, Dean didn’t tell you my theory?” Sam started.

Cas looked at Dean, then Dean said, “It’s nothing. So anyway…”

“What was the theory?” Cas interrupted.

Sam, helpful brother that he is said, “Dean thinks that Sarah is interested in you.”

“She is, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” Cas looked at Dean.

“Wait, you knew that she was interested?” Dean asked.

“It’s rather obvious.” Cas shrugged. “I’m not an idiot.”

“No one’s said that you were,” Dean said.

“Regardless, her interest shouldn’t trigger a goddess’ wrath.”

Sam added, “Well, maybe not, but Dean thought she was handsy with you.”

“You did?” Cas kept watching Dean for a reaction.

“Sam, just drop it. It’s not a thing.”

Sam went on, “Apparently, right after you told her that you and Dean were a couple, she got a little handsy.”

“She may have touched my arm, but I wouldn’t call that,” Cas made air quotes, “being handsy.”

“Shoot me now.” Dean lowered his head into his palms.

“You thought she was being too forward with me, Dean?” Dean could hear Cas smirking as he said it. He couldn’t look up at him. Cas went on, “Why do you think I told her that we were a couple? I needed to make it clear that I wasn’t interested without causing any needless issues. I didn’t want her to stop helping us, and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

Dean finally looked up at him, and sure enough, he was grinning ear to ear. Sam chose to go on then, and Dean could have strangled him. “So, yeah, it likely looked like Sarah was stealing Dean’s boyfriend.”

Cas looked at him now. “Oh.”

“Yeah, we were thinking that the goddess might think she was a thief for trying to take you away from Dean.” Sam grinned all pleased with the full disclosure.

“That makes a kind of sense.” Cas set a hand casually on Dean’s leg. “Demeter would see it as similar to her situation. The taking of her child, of someone important to her, could be equated with the theft of a boyfriend.”

“But we aren’t,” Dean interjected.

Cas gave him a sidelong glance and said, “Close enough.”

Sam took a seat on his bed and faced them. “So, the others, though, they must have some sort of connection that’s similar. We just need to dig. I can head back to the hospital tomorrow  and you two can check on Al.” With a look from Dean, Sam was adding, “The guy that owned the massage place that we’ve been working in, geesh.”

“Oh yeah,” Dean said.

“So, we need to learn if any of them stole something that would have garnered the goddess’ attention. And we need to figure out how we stop the future disappearances.”

Cas nodded and added, “I am not sure that there is a solution. I really do think that your idea concerning the burning down of the mall might be all we’ve got.”

Dean said, “Pretty sure even we can’t get away with burning down an entire mall. Besides, there has to be a simpler solution. We just gotta think about it.”

“We’ve certainly got our work cut out for us,” Sam said. He slipped into bed and turned out his light. “Get some sleep you two. Tomorrow will be kicking our asses.”

The golden woman appeared at the construction site. It was the first time this had happened in the new part of the mall. All of the other times it had occurred in the main part of the mall. Sam had gone off for a shift and had seen it happen. It was a guy named Clark, big burly dude with not a bit of hair on his head. It was the first time Sam had worked with him. He was all bragging and swagger.

Sam just spent the time listening while they poured the foundation. He’d throw in a comment here and there, but nothing too grand. He didn’t mind the listening. Then Clark started going on about his many conquests. One of the women from the team joined them at this point, and Clark let his talk dry up.

Jill, didn’t look like the typical construction type. Her hair was long and wavy when it wasn’t tucked up into her hat. She had curves and piercing hazel eyes that were wide and captivating. Sam noticed that Clark was checking her out each time she stooped to pick something up or whenever she seemed to have her attention diverted elsewhere. At one point he nodded toward her and tried to get a silent exchange going with Sam.

Sam just rolled his eyes and kept working. At some point she left them for a few minutes. Clark said, “Now I would not kick her out of bed.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t.” Sam kept on working.

“Bet she’s got someone at home. She never goes out for drinks with the team after work.”

Sam looked up at him now. “Maybe she just doesn’t want to.”

“Doubtful.” Clark started pouring concrete into another empty frame. “I’m gonna see if she wants to go get a drink with the group tonight over at that bar, Kenny’s. Everybody from the team goes there. Betcha she says no.”

Jill came back and set right back into work. True to his word, Clark asked. Jill looked up at him then at Sam. “You going too?” She asked Sam.

“I hadn’t decided,” Sam kicked at some of the loose gravel at his feet. “Probably.”

Jill said, “Then yeah. Sounds fun.” She smiled and went back to work.

Clark came to her side and asked, “You wanna ride over to Kenny’s with me?”

“Ah, I’m…” Jill glanced over at Sam and then back at Clark. “I think I’ll just drive myself.”

“I could be your DD.”

“Nope, I’m good. One drink won’t do much.” She smiled, but Sam could see she was uncomfortable with the proximity.

Then Clark put his arm around her waist. “Ah come on…”

Sam stepped over and removed Clark’s hand. “Not okay, dude.” Jill took a step back.

Clark just looked at Sam, then said, “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing. Just don’t think you should be putting your hands on people without their consent.”

Jill chimed in then, “Besides, Sam and I are a thing. We just didn’t want to say anything, because work…” The lie rolled off her tongue easily. She gave Sam a pointed look. He nodded.

Clark stepped up to her and said, “Pretty sure I can take care of you way better than this sissy boy here.” Clark nodded back at Sam. To his credit Sam just laughed. Then Clark put his hand on Jill again. Sam would have stepped in, if a certain golden goddess hadn’t done it for him.  The light engulfed Clark, who proceeded to scream. Jill fell back into the cement. Sam pulled her free. Then as suddenly as she appeared, the light, the goddess, and Clark were gone.

Calming Jill and explaining Clark’s absence wasn’t an easy feat. Eventually, Sam had to leave some questions unanswered. He outright told Jill what happened; she saw enough anyway to accept the truth. The boss, though, that was where lying had to happen. Sam just claimed that Clark had stormed off after being rejected by Jill.

Everyone seemed to accept this. Still, it took some explaining. Sam went back to the motel to wait out the end of Dean and Cas’ shift at the massage studio. He could have met them there, but it seemed like he needed to do a deep dive into the research. Something had to be out there on how to appease Demeter.

Chapter Text

Thanksgiving passed and Black Friday was upon them. They decided to take a break from the case to just work that day. The money would be good, and they weren’t getting anywhere on the research anyway.

They were slammed with customers hauling large bags of purchases, wailing children, and plenty of neck and shoulder pain. They did their best to provide comfort, and the money ended up being quite good.

At the end of the night, Dean just gave up and stretched out on the massage table. He was sure that he could fall asleep right then and there. Then he felt two strong, familiar hands on his back. They dug into his shoulders and raked down either side of his spine. “You’ve gotta be tired, Cas.”

“I am.” He dug his thumbs in under Dean’s shoulder blades. “I never get tired of helping you though.”

“That sounded way cheesy, dude.”

“I’m fine with that.” They both laughed.

“I’m heading back to the motel. You guys ready?” Sam was already shutting off lights, as if they didn’t need to answer.

“Guess we should be,” Dean practically groaned into the headrest.

“I’ll finish you off back at the motel,” Cas said, close to his ear.

“I’m right here, Cas,” Sam said. Then Sam laughed. “Glad to see that you’re still tormenting my brother. Someone’s gotta do it.”

“It’s a job I’m highly qualified for.”

“Between the two of you, I get no peace,” Dean said as he sat up.

They practically fell into the beds when they got back. Cas did his thing where he dropped clothes on the floor with every step. Dean almost grumbled out a complaint, but felt too tired to do that. Then he noticed his own clothes weren’t exactly piled up in their usual neat way on the dresser. He’d dropped them at the foot of the bed. Dean hadn’t even pulled on sweatpants, and now it was too late. He was totally committed to the bed.

Cas didn’t seem to mind though or even notice. He was down to his boxers and a t-shirt. The room was a little on the warm side, which was odd for November. Cas reached over his head and pulled the shirt off. Well, shit. Dean thought as he found himself waking up. Cas poured himself into the bed, barely even looking at Dean. Sam’s breathing was already leveling out in the other bed.

If Sam wasn’t here I’d… Dean shut that thought down right away. Cas had his eyes closed as he laid on his back. Dean realized then that he was on his side, completely facing all this torment. It was not like him. He rolled onto his back. He noticed Cas’ eyes crack open. Then Cas rolled onto his side facing Dean.

“Goodnight, Dean,” he said. His hand snaked across the little bed gulf between them and came to rest on Dean’s chest.

Dean watched him. Cas’ eyes were closed. There was a gentle smile on his face. Dean settled a hand on top of Cas’ and said, “Goodnight, Cas.”

In the morning he was alone in the bed, but not alone in the room. He could still feel Cas’ hand on his chest warming his heart. He made a fist on his chest as if to hold onto that moment just a little longer. Dean let his eyes adjust to the near dark. Sam was clicking away on his laptop, eating something that looked like a burrito, a steaming cup of coffee sat on the nightstand next to him.

“Where’s Cas?”

Sam swallowed down his breakfast and said, “He went to pick up Claire.”

“Huh?” Dean sat up. “What’s she doing here?”

“I needed to get ahold of another credit card that still had funds on it. This one’s almost done. And though we have tons of cash at present, some things just need a card.”

Dean raked his hands up through his hair. “So she is just swinging by to drop it off?”

“I asked her to pop one in the mail a few days ago, and I mentioned some books from the bunker that I needed. She was planning to come down this way for something anyway. Said she’d bring the card and the books.”

“She gonna stay?” Dean looked around the messy room. “We should get her her own room.”

“Already on it. They should be getting back soon. You should put more clothes on.” Sam gave him a once over then returned to his eating and researching.

Dean got up and started picking up clothes from the Cas path. He also picked up his own. “I swear, he could have picked up a little before he left.”

Sam just looked at him over the laptop for a moment before saying, “Guess he knew you’d take care of it.” Sam was grinning now. “You certainly have gotten comfortable with him. What happened to the Dean that use to yell at him about his near nakedness, and frustrating ways?” Sam’s emphasis on frustrating was irritating. Dean just grumbled as he continued to clean up. Then Sam added, “You are apparently now a near nudist. Funny how times have changed.”

“I’m not nude. It was hot in here last night.”

“Really?” Sam smirked and added, “Maybe for you.”

Dean retreated to the bathroom with a shred of his dignity left. He resolved to wear more clothes next time, and to encourage Cas to do the same.

Claire’s flight got in, and Cas got her back to the motel just as Dean was exiting the bathroom. “Claire,” Dean greeted her with warmth and actual joy.

“Hey there, old man.” She dropped her bags on the bed and came over to hug him. She let him go and hugged Sam next. When she let him go she pulled out some cards from her pocket. “Here you go. You all should be set through the new year with those.”

“I’m guessing the books are in the suitcases?” Sam asked.

“Well, one of them has the books,” Claire said as she pointed at the larger of the two. “The other is just clothes. You know how weird it is to travel without weapons.”

“Can’t believe you flew here. Cars are way better.” Dean sat on the bed.

“I agree there, but planes are faster. Besides, Cas said you all have enough weapons to loan out if the need arises.” She sat next to Dean, and Cas and Sam sat on his bed facing them. “You all want to get me up to speed. Sam said a fresh set of eyes might help.”

“He’s not wrong there,” Cas started. “We’ve been so wrapped up in things at the mall, that we don’t see the danger until it’s already passed.”

“That hardly sounds like you guys.” Claire looked at Dean and said, “Should have called in the young guns sooner.” She smiled and gave his arm a not so gentle slug.

“Wow, getting strong there.” Dean laughed.

“Yeah, been busy. I think the steady hunting is toughening me up.”

Cas asked, “Any plans for college in the near future.”

“Ah, Cas, not you too.” Claire reached over and gave his knee a pat. “Jody rides me about college every other conversation. She tries to be subtle, but she's so not.”

“It's important,” Cas started.

“So's saving people.” She turned the Dean then and said, “So let's get to this haunted mall, so I can see what all the fuss is about.”

They took turns showing her around. Sam even took her to the construction site, which gave Dean some time to talk with Cas. There was something weighing on him, and Dean noticed it from the moment that they left the motel.

He waited until the most recent customer paid up and left. “A double.” Cas held up the cash and added, “First one of the day.” He closed up the till and came around the counter. He took a seat in the waiting area.

Dean took a seat at his side. “You okay?”

Cas seemed to deflate a little more. “I'm fine.”

Dean tipped his head to force some eye contact. “I taught you that, I'm fine , business. Talk to me.” Dean waited.

“Do you think she'll ever do the college thing?” Cas finally looked up.

“Who knows. She's pretty stubborn. Jody's been trying to get her interested, but that seems to just lead to push back from Claire.”

“I did this to her,” Cas murmured.

Dean set a hand on his shoulder. “She's not unhappy.” Dean squeezed his shoulder a little. “She's not even mad at you. I’d even guess that she kinda loves you.”

Cas laughed, a dry, mirthless laugh. “She loves the face of her father, the memories that seeing me can conjure up. I've brought endless pain into her life.”

“Cas, man, if that's true, then she'd deal out far more hate at you. Claire ain't shy about her feelings.”

Cas got up and began pacing the space between the chairs and the massage tables. “Dean, this is one of those times that you just need to let me be right. I know what I've done. I live with so many regrets, but what I did to the Novak family is unforgivable. Now Claire can't even imagine a safe, normal life for herself. She's just going to be a hunter, die a hunter.”

“Maybe not,” Dean started.

“Damn it, Dean!” Cas stopped. He couldn't face him. His shoulders sagged a little. “I stole every good thing from her. I've left her with nothing.”

As the words left his lips, a golden light filled the room. The golden haired goddess hovered over Cas. She whispered, “Thief.”

Dean spang up. Cas moved away from his grasp and let the light have him. “She's not wrong.” Then he was gone.

Dean was freaking out. He'd called Sam, and it went straight to voicemail. “Sam, she got Cas!” He then called Claire. She answered on the first ring. “You two have to get back. The goddess…”

“Dean, breathe,” Claire tried to calm him.

“She got Cas!”

“We're on our way back!” Claire hung up, and they must have run, because they were back mere minutes later.

Dean was pacing. “Sam, remember when I stole that Corvette?” Dean wasn't even really talking to Sam. He was practically shouting it at the ceiling. “Fuck! Or maybe that time I took that hundred off that frat boy in Michigan. Jesus, my whole life has been stolen.”

Sam grabbed Dean and shook him a little. “What're you doing?”

“He's trying to get her to come back.” Claire came to him. “That's what you're doing, right, Dean?”

“I can't do it again. I told him I can't!” Dean's whole frame shook. Claire pulled him to her. She held on even past the moments where he tried to shove her away.

Claire said, “We'll get him back. I promise.” Sam echoed her. Claire added, “I've even got some ideas. Just hear me out before you give up. All's not lost yet.”

They closed up and drove him back to the motel. Claire shared her thoughts.

“It's clearly not something that's happening to all thieves. If it were then we'd all have been taken immediately.” Claire was staying in front of them in the motel room. They got Dean to sit. “Hell, I came here with fraudulent credit cards for you guys. We're all thieves.”

“Then what made Cas different?” Dean asked.

Sam offered, “Maybe it only matters to her when the act is paired with real emotions.” Sam had one hand on Dean, imparting some comfort as he spoke. “With Clark, we were quite on edge. I might have tangled with him if the goddess wouldn't have arrived.”

“What about the first victims?” Dean asked. “They were just putting up Christmas decorations.”

“We weren't there,” Claire said, “But I bet they stole something, and I bet they were arguing about it. Somehow emotions were likely running high.”

“And Al was on the phone when we came in. We caught the tale end of that. Emotions were totally high there.” Sam folded his hands in front of him.

“Then there's the exception,” Dean said. “Sarah.”

“Not an exception at all,” Sam leveled his gaze on Dean. “She was blatantly flirting with Cas, having just been told that he was your boyfriend. Pretty sure you were feeling some emotions there.”

“Wait, what?” Claire looked at Dean. “Finally?”

Dean said, “No, Cas just made that up to let her down easy. Clearly didn't work.”

“But you can see that she's not an exception right?” Sam asked. Dean shrugged. “What saved her was you making it clear that she wasn't offending you, I'm guessing. You took her hand and got between her and the light.”

“And why did it take Cas this time? Why is this the moment that she thought he needed to go?” Dean felt like he was cracking beneath the weight of the day, the loss of everything.

“What were you two talking about?” Claire asked.

Dean looked at her. He felt like he was betraying a sacred trust. “You.”

“Me.”

“Yeah, he was feeling guilty. He thinks he ruined your life, stole every opportunity you could have had for normalcy.”

“I thought I made it clear that I was past all that hating and blaming business.” Claire threw herself back on the bed with a frustrated groan. “I’d say that saving the world pretty much makes us all square at this point.”

Dean said, “I tried to make him see it, but he was just so upset. Then she showed up, and I tried to grab him away from her.” Dean pressed his palms to his eyes and did his best not to let his emotions gain the upper hand. “He stepped away from me. He let her take him.”

“Well, that sounds exactly like him, like my dad too for that matter.” Claire sat up and said, “Sam and I have a half-assed idea that might just be a plan.”

Sam took over. “We were talking about the whole why business.”

“Why business?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, like why would Demeter do this? Why does she have some anger regarding theft?”

“That’s pretty obvious. I mean, her daughter was taken from her,” Dean said.

“So we were thinking we could summon either her daughter or maybe her daughter and Hades.”

Dean sat up straighter. “Hades? Like the king of the dead, ruler of the entire Underworld, Hades?”

“We started there as an idea.” Sam smiled and started pacing the room.

Dean followed his movements around the room. “I’m afraid to ask where you ended.”

“That got me thinking a little, and I was wondering if Hades and Billie have any connection.” Sam sat back down on the bed again. “This made me think that maybe, even if they aren’t connected, she might be able to help us out here.”

“She’s not a fan of us. Not sure that she’d be up for helping us retrieve Cas or anything like that.”

Claire said, “I hardly think we have anything to lose in the asking.”

Sam seemed to agree, and Dean knew there was no sense in fighting them. After all, he wanted them to be right.

Chapter Text

They had to wait for the mall to close. Luckily Sarah was working graveyard that night. She assured them that she’d keep them from being detected on the surveillance cameras and she even helped them set up.

“Do you think you can get him back?” Sarah asked in a whisper as they set up the spell.

Dean wanted to believe the words that he said, so they sounded pretty convincing once they fell out of his mouth. “Cas and I always find our ways back to each other. I’m not ready to believe that today will be any different.”

“He was not like anyone I’d ever met.” Sarah got a dreamy look in her eyes. “He was so genuine.”

“That’s Cas for ya,” Dean said as he stood back up. “This might be the part where you skedaddle. We’ll be dealing with some powerful beings and you shouldn’t be around for that.” Dean gave her shoulder a pat of appreciation. “Besides, they almost got you last time.”

“Will I be safe in the office?”

“You’ll be fine there.”

With that, she rushed off to the office. Sam came to his side. “We ready?”

“Ready as we’ll ever be,” Dean braced himself. “Claire, we can do this without you. No sense in you getting pulled into this too.”

“Don’t be dumb, Dean. If she thinks that Cas stole my prospects, well, I’ve got a few words for her about that.” Claire looked determined, and Dean didn’t want to fight that. “Come on, Sam. Let’s summon some death.”

Funny how something like that could be so normal for them. Dean and Claire flanked Sam and he performed the summoning ritual. Over the years they’d grown accustomed to the way that Death would choose to arrive whenever they felt like it. They came when summoned, just not at exactly the moment that they were expected and usually not to the location that they were expected. Billie continued that tradition.

Dean tried to maintain some sense of patience. He knew full well that the moment he lost it, that she’d show up. “Come on,” Dean growled out.

“Still as patient as ever, Dean Winchester.” Billie stood just behind him. Dean was proud of himself for not jumping. Claire actually jumped into a full on fighting crouch. Sam set a hand on her, and she straightened up.

“I’m hoping you know why we called,” Dean said.

“I’m guessing that someone you love died and now you want them restored, yadda, yadda, yadda.” Billie even rolled her eyes as she said it.

“Actually,” Sam said. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“Always is with the Winchesters.”

“Tell me about it,” Dean said.

Sam continued, “Would it be fair to say that, as Death, that you are all forms of Death, like every death god and such?”

“In some ways.” She folded her arms in front of her. The long coat that she wore gave her the appearance of being far taller. Her eyes flashed with fire, and all of them noticeably shrunk back from her. “I am the final word on mortality. Although, there are those that don the persona of Death, and do my bidding, they are just branches stretching out from me.”

Sam asked, “So would it be accurate to say that you are Hades, god of the Underworld?”

“What are you getting at, Sam?” Billie drew closer to him, eyes glowing brighter as she did so. “I’m not to be toyed with, summoned for your petty games. I’m Death, and you should show me some respect.”

“We respect you.” Sam didn’t back down as she loomed over him. “Strangely enough, we respect you a million times more than just about any other being we’ve encountered.”

She retreated a little. “Then why have you called me here? What is it with all of the questions?”

“We wanted to know if you are Hades?” Dean chimed in.

“He is part of me now that I’ve taken on this role.” She nodded as she said it.

“So, are you married to Persephone then?” Claire asked.

“And who might you be?” Billie circled her. “Not a Winchester, no.”

“Claire Novak. I'm a hunter.” Claire looked confident, but Dean was sure that this close scrutiny was getting under her skin.

“And you want to know if I am married to Persephone, Queen of the Underworld.”

“Yes,” Claire's voice cracked just a little.

“I suppose I am. I've not considered it much.” Billie moved away from Claire and redirected her attention to Sam. “I'm losing patience.”

With that Sam made quick work of the story, Demeter, people disappearing, Cas. “So we were hoping that you and Persephone might convince Demeter to stop.”

Billie closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them she said, “They are not dead. She is holding them in a type of limbo.” She clicked her tongue and said, “This won't do.”

“So you'll help us,” Dean asked, hope heavy in his voice.

“I'm not doing this for you.” She snapped her fingers and a small blonde reaper with wire rimmed glasses appeared. “Bring Persephone to me.” The reaper disappeared. Billie turned back to them. “I just don't like it when things are out of sorts. Also I'm intrigued by the prospect of meeting my…” A woman appeared at her side. “Wife.”

“Death, you rang?” Persephone's hair flowed down her back in rivers of dark chestnut brown. Her smile was wide and also intimidating. Her eyes glinted with a fierceness. Her golden, olive colored skin glowed as she approached Billie. She wore white linen, a long dress that billowed out on a wind that was only hers.

“Your mother is causing trouble.” Billie stepped closer. “It also seemed as though we should meet.”

“This form is new, but I’m no stranger to Death.” Persephone walked around Billie as if assessing her. Her features shifted to something less threatening, her eyes glowed golden, like her mother's. “I look forward to our time.”

Dean interrupted, “Will you help us?”

Billie shot him a fiery glance. She turned back to Persephone. “Mortals.”

“So needy,” Persephone added. “Still, if it involves my mother, I understand.” She turned to Dean. “She can be, difficult.”

“Can you get her to be less difficult?” Claire asked. “She has the last bit of my father. She has Castiel.” Gone was the hardened hunter that Claire usually had on display. Here was just a girl that had lost far too much, far too early in her life.

Persephone looked at her with something like sympathy in her eyes. “Perhaps we can speak with her.” She looked at Billie and added, “This time she has even taken people from Eleusis. If she continues doing that, then the few worshippers she still has will likely cease showing their devotion. She'll fade to nothing.”

“She's not in any danger of that happening,” Billie said.

“True for now.” Persephone closed her eyes and called out for her mother.

The golden woman appeared just past the Christmas display. She slowly walked toward them as if this all was normal. There was no posturing, no floating down from above, and no fiery glances directed at any of them. Demeter seemed to only look at Persephone. “My child.” Her honey sweet words sounded sad. “It has been so long.”

“Mother,” Persephone said as she stepped forward and pulled her mother into a hug. “I have missed you.”

“You are given six months in which you can return to me, but you don't. I fear I've truly lost you.” Demeter let her hands slide down Persephone's arms.

“Not truly, but it is time that you accepted the way that things are. I'm married, and my loyalties are divided between you both.”

Demeter choose to look away from Persephone now, leveling her harsh glare on Billie. “You've changed.” She broke away and circled Billie just as Persephone had before. “You are a minor improvement.”

“I'll take that as a compliment,” Billie said with a smile.

“Will you release my daughter, free her from her obligations to you?”

Billie looked to Persephone then. “She and I are bound to one another, but…”

Persephone interrupted, “I chose this, mother. I want this bond.”

Billie set a hand on Persephone's shoulder and smiled. “She's free to come and go, free to be as she wishes. I'm not holding her against her will.” Billie turned to face Demeter. “She's been free for some time now.”

“The old death did not free her,” Demeter said in a near whisper.

“Perhaps not in so many words, but she was not his captive, and she's not my captive either.”

Persephone stepped toward her mother. “Please,” she whispered. She leaned in and kissed her mother's cheek. “Let your anger go. These mortals don't deserve your wrath.”

It was then that Demeter seemed to notice the rest of them. Dean stepped forward. During the exchange he had considered what could be said. He just wanted Cas back. But why would a goddess care about his petty human desires. She looked smaller now than she had before. So Dean felt braver. “Demeter, goddess, I…” Dean faltered. He glanced back at Sam and Claire.

“Mortal,” Demeter puffed up a bit.

“You have someone that belongs to us, someone important.” Dean felt sweat forming on his palms. “He was an angel.”

“I do.”

“We,” Dean wiped his palms on his pants. He restarted, “I need him.” The words hung in the air between them.

“What if he does not want to return?” Demeter glanced at Persephone. The moment spoke volumes.

“He will,” Dean swallowed. “He just doesn't know that yet.”

Demeter waved her hand and Cas appeared in an unconscious heap near her feet. “It will be his choice.”

Cas stirred and sat up. He looked from Demeter to each other face, ending with Dean. “What happened?”

Dean came down to his knees at Cas’ side. “No time for that.” He took hold of Cas’ shirt and held on. “Tell her that you want to stay,” he paused then added, “with me.”

Cas shook his head, like he needed to clear it of confusion. He looked past Dean to Claire. “I deserve this, Dean.”

Dean took his face in his hands. “Stop being a martyr. Claire wants you back too.”

Claire stepped forward. “Please come back to us, Cas.”

Cas got up. Dean didn't let him go. Instead, he moved with him toward Claire. “I've taken everything from you.” His voice was heavy with anguish. “She made me see the full picture of what I've taken from you.”

“You haven't taken away everything, far from it.” Claire pulled him into a hug. Dean reluctantly stepped aside. “I miss them, everyday,” she spoke into his neck. “Not a day goes by that I don't think about them.”

“I'm so sorry, Claire.” Castiel pulled back to look into her eyes.

“I'm not angry with you.” She swallowed and continued, “You and my dad, you saved the world. You gave me a path that will do far more good in this world than anything I'd have ended up doing before.” She squeezed his arms. “Do you know how many people I've saved?”

“Still,” Cas started to argue.

“No,” Claire let him go. “No still. This is my path. I chose this path everyday. And you know what?” Her eyes glinted with fierce determination. “I'm happy. I shouldn't be, but I am. I'm saving people. I'm a goddamn hero.” She smiled. “Stay with us. Be a hero too.”

Cas seemed to consider. He turned to Dean, who nodded then said, “Stay.”

Sam finally spoke too, “You gotta stay Cas. I won't be able to handle Dean alone.”

Cas smiled a little and said, “I suppose that would be difficult.”

Dean said, “Hey.”

Cas turned to Demeter and said, “I'd like to stay with my family here.”

Demeter nodded. She turned back to her daughter. “Are you happy?”

“I am.” Persephone took Billie's hand in hers. “You should release the others too. They've learned their lesson, I'm sure.”

“They've been with me longer. It'll take more time for them to adjust back to this world,” Demeter said.

She waved her hand and the missing people reappeared at her feet. They all seemed to be asleep. “Thank you,” Sam said.

The immortals stepped aside to converse privately. Demeter and Persephone faded away together. Billie lingered. “Goodbye, Winchesters.” She smiled. “Try to enjoy some downtime. I think you've earned it.” Then she looked around the mall, taking in the decorations. “These bodies will likely regain consciousness in about a month. That’ll give you some time.” She smiled. “Merry Christmas.” With that she faded away.

Chapter Text

They decided to stick around. Al, the owner of the massage studio, was entirely unconscious. The others were too. With Sarah’s help, they got everyone to a hospital. The story was that they were all left at the mall, and no one saw a thing.

“So do we head back?” Sam asked.

Claire was settling into her room at the motel. Everyone was sitting on the beds. “I for one welcome the break. If you all don’t mind, I’m gonna stay here for a day or two just to recharge my batteries before heading back out into the world.” Claire rummaged through one of her duffle bags.

“How you feeling, Cas?” Dean asked for the millionth time.

“Same as before. I’m fine.” But Cas was sluggish coming into the room, and his eyes drooped like he’d fall asleep as soon as his head hit any pillow.

“Really?” Dean looked at him closely. He hadn’t stopped looking at him, sitting close to him, casually touching him.

“I’m unnaturally tired, but that is to be expected after the experience that I had with Demeter.”

Sam said, “Then it’s settled. We’re not going anywhere until it feels like everyone is okay enough for that. Rest and relaxation, that’s our focus.”

“What about the massage studio?” Dean asked. Sam gave him an look, his brow arching up high.

“You wanna keep working?” Sam asked.

“Well, the money is pretty great.” He looked at Cas and added, “It’s also nice to just do a job that makes people feel good.”

“If you wanna keep working ain’t no one stopping you.” Sam shrugged. “I suppose I should finish off the construction gig or at least quit at a more respectable time. We’re right in the middle of laying the foundation.”

Cas said, “Not to mention the fact that you have other interests there.”

Sam got up and made his way to the door. Dean asked, “What interests?”

“Nothing,” Sam said. “I’m going to head back to our room to sleep. Gonna need it if I’m working tomorrow.”

“What interests?” Dean asked again.

Sam was out of the room though, and Cas was laughing. “Maybe when you’re older I’ll explain the birds and the bees to you,” Cas said as he laughed again.

“Like you know anything about that.” Dean got up though and headed for the door. “See you in the morning pipsqueak.”

“That nickname better not stick.” Claire threw a balled up pair of socks at him. Dean caught them and threw them back. “Goodnight you two.”

“Goodnight,” they both said in sync. Cas slowly walked across the room, meeting Dean at the door. Dean opened it and set a hand low on Cas’ back to guide him through.

Cas slept beside him, breathing gently out of slightly opened lips. Dean watched him, and sent out a silent prayer of thanks to a god that likely wasn’t listening. He got out of bed slowly so as not to wake anyone. He wanted to get ready first and bring back breakfast.

He counted it a success that when he got dressed and out the door, neither Sam nor Cas stirred even a little. He was walking past Claire’s room toward the diner when her door opened. “Whoa,” she said. “Where are you off to?”

“Just getting breakfast. You’re up early.”

“No earlier than you.” She looped her arm through his and they walked on together. “Guess now I got company.”

“Good, you can help me carry their food back.” Dean smiled and felt the early morning air sting his cheeks. “You sleep okay?”

“Yeah, but I might just head back to the bunker on the way home to Jody’s.”

“Yeah? It’s pretty crowded there,” Dean said.

“I know. I’m hoping they can get me a case.” She separated from Dean and opened the door. “Sam said they might have something for me.”

“There’s always something.” They made their way to a booth and a waitress set down two menus and took their drink orders. They sat in silence for a few moments before she came back with their drinks and took their food orders.

“So you sounded a little bitter there, Dean. What’s up?”

“I’m just tired.” Dean stirred a little sugar into his mug. The diner was festive. He’d eaten there before, but hadn’t noticed just how much Christmas was taking over every square inch of the place. “I know it’s gonna sound weird, but this case has been like a vacation. We’ve been living other people’s lives, and I think I kinda liked it.”

“So you like giving strangers massages, huh? Yep, you’re a weirdo.” Claire pressed her back up against the wall and stretched her legs out on the booth seat. She tapped her fingers on the formica table top in time with the energetic Christmas music pumping out of the speakers in the ceiling. “At the same time, you’re not so weird. It’s likely pretty nice getting to just be like a real person.”

“Who’d have thought that being a normal person would be my version of a vacation.”

Claire laughed, “Yeah, only you guys would think that getting full-time jobs at a mall was a vacation.” Dean laughed with her. “So how long will you all drag this vacation out?”

“Maybe another couple of weeks. We don’t want the real owner to come back to a dead business.” Dean shrugged. “Pretty sure he’s gonna be out of it for quite a bit longer if Billie is to be believed.”

“I’m sure she’s right.” The food showed up then. “That was fast,” Claire said.

“They always are,” Dean said as he started digging in.

“Well, maybe you all should consider leaving here a little earlier, get back to the bunker in time for Christmas. And if you'd rather have the peace of a house full of teen girl hunters, you can come to Jody’s.”

“Yeah, we’ll see. I’m not gonna rush Cas.” Dean finished off his coffee and set it closer to the edge of the table as if to signal the need for a refill. “I think he’s gonna need some time to be back to his old self. He’s feeling far more exhaustion than  he’s letting on.”

“I’m glad he chose us,” Claire said.

“Me too.” They shared a look that said more. They ate the rest of the meal in silence.

They got back to the motel room to find Sam and Cas both awake and opening some big boxes on Sam’s bed. “What’s all that?” Dean asked.

“Massage oils.” Sam pulled one out. “Apparently, Cas here decided that we needed to order some fancy scented oils to try out.”

“Uh, that’s a lot of oil there Cas,” Dean looked into the big box as he said it. There were around fifty bottles of varied oils neatly lined up in the box.

“I may have misread the description. I thought I was ordering the small sampler pack.” Cas held one up and read the label, “Summer Sunshine.”

“Yeah, they may have a labeling issue. What even is that scent.” Dean reached out and took the oil from Cas and opened the cap. He gave it a quick sniff. “Huh, that’s not bad.”

Cas leaned over and took a sniff. He closed his eyes on the inhale. “Yes, that is what summer should smell like.” He reached into the box and pulled out another called, Winter Cocoa , which was just a chocolate peppermint scented oil. That one came with a warning due to the peppermint.

“Well, I’ll take a couple in with me.” Dean slid the bottle of Summer Sunshine into his pocket. He set down the takeout bag he’d been holding on the table. “Claire and I brought you two lazy butts breakfast.” He turned and gave Cas a pointed look. “I want you to rest while I’m at work. You still look exhausted.”

“Yes, mother,” Cas said with his most sardonic voice.

Dean turned to Claire and asked, “You’ll keep an eye on him today, right?”

“Of course. I said I wanted to relax for a day or so, and this seems like an entirely relaxing prospect.”

Once Sam and Cas were tucked into their breakfast and Claire was brewing some coffee in the too tiny motel coffee pot, Dean headed off for the mall. He decided to walk, leaving the Impala for Sam or Claire and Cas. He had a spring in his step, a warm glow building in his stomach with each passing moment. It was good to be alive--not a thought he had on the daily.

Seeing Cas well, and happy was enough. Dean whistled a jaunty little tune as he made his way into the mall and to the shop. He rolled up the door that sealed in the store front. Other shops were doing the same. He waved over to one then the other as the owners came to their places. The Christmas music started up in the middle of “It’s a Holly, Jolly Christmas.” Dean leaned into the corner of the doorway and let the edge of the wall press into the muscles around his shoulder blade.

It wasn’t long after the mall opened that Dean had his first customer, then his second, third, and forth. He shifted into auto-pilot and just worked his way through one body after the next. By lunch the waiting area was full of people sitting, waiting their turns.

He didn’t even notice when Claire and Cas came in. Dean glanced up from his work on his current customer and saw the two of them sitting in the waiting area, like they were customers or something. “You two just come on down to watch me work?” Dean grumped.

“Only a little.” Claire got up and stretched, her back popping loudly as she did. “Thought you’d like to go to lunch.” She angled her chin at Cas and added, “His idea.”

Dean finished up with his customer and rang him up. After the man left, Cas came to the counter and looked into the till. “Whoa, you’ve been busy.”

“Understatement.” Dean took a couple of twenties out, and slipped them into his pocket. He closed the till and came around to the other side of the counter. “We better leave now, before someone comes in and messes up the plan.” Dean locked up and put out a sign that said ‘Back in an hour.’

“I figured we could take Claire to the waffle place that makes sandwiches,” Cas said.

“I find the concept confusing. I think Cas just wants me to see waffles as a fine substitute for bread.” Claire laughed.

Dean thought she looked happier in this moment. It was cold out as they stepped out into the sunlight, free of the too loud Christmas music and crowds of shoppers. Claire’s golden hair caught the light in a stunning way. She smiled at Cas. “You been taking good care of the patient?”

“He’s surly and doesn’t do as he’s told,” Claire confessed.

“Sounds right,” Dean said.

“I’m right here.” Cas quickened his step.

Dean set a hand on the small of his back as they walked. “Really though, how’re you feeling?”

“Tired, but I needed to move. This will likely put me down for the night.” Cas glanced at him then back at the path ahead.

They got to the restaurant, a small, place on the outside of the mall. They made five types of sandwiches, all on waffles. The ladies that ran the place had relocated to the area from Louisiana. Halle was a happy soul. She bustled around the too small place, bringing out waffle sandwiches piled high. Dean gave her a wave, and she made her way over to the table that they claimed, one of the only ones left.

“Well, Dean it has been days since you’ve been in here.” Halle set down menus, but she really didn’t need to do that. With only five items on the menu, one didn’t have much to think about.

“Sorry, it’s been rather busy.” Dean didn’t even look at the menu. “I’ll have the Original, she’ll have the Parmesan, and he’ll have the Nutella.” Dean looked over at Claire and added, “You want anything to drink?”

“You tell me.” Then she looked at Halle and said, “I’ll have a Coke.”

“And coffee for us,” Dean added. Cas scooped up the menus and handed them to Halle.

Claire asked, “So I’m getting a Parmesan?”

“Kinda,” Dean started. “I ordered the three best things on the menu. We can take a bit of each. It’s like getting a sampler plate.” Dean was all smiles.

“So what’s in the Original?” Claire asked.

Cas said, “It is quite lovely. They make an apple slaw with ginger and honey that they put on the sandwich with an additional garlic aioli. So good.” Cas practically hummed with praise.

“I’m pretty sure he just likes them because they are sweet.” Dean reached over and set a hand on Cas’ shoulder. “You gonna make sure the rest of us get to try out the Nutella one this time?”

“Some food is too perfect to be shared,” Cas said with a smile.

“What’s in that one?”

Cas closed his eyes like he was remembering. He licked his lips and said, “They spread the Nutella on the waffle and then they add a buttered sugar cookie crumble to the middle. There’s a generous pile of whipped cream too. It is the closest thing to perfection the world has to offer.”

Dean and Claire both laughed, and Cas opened his eyes. Dean said, “It really is good, but I’m pretty sure Cas likes it all way more than is natural.”

Claire laughed again and said, “So this is why you take him here. You just want to see him get off on food.” She continued laughing.

“It has been enjoyable.”

Cas raised an eyebrow. “I just appreciate effort. It’s nice when people put love into what they do.” He looked pointedly at Dean then and added, “Besides, I have to get my fulfillment somewhere.”

“TMI, Cas,” Claire said. “I hardly need to think about that.”

“Apologies,” Cas turned to Dean and added, “I just enjoy tormenting him a little is all.”

“Yeah, picked up on that, Buddy.” Dean rolled his eyes, and Cas rolled his own right back.

The food eventually came, and Dean cut the sandwiches into thirds so that they could try out each. Cas, of course started out with the Nutella one. “Hmmm,” Cas rumbled out around a bite.

“You heathen. Eat the dessert last,” Dean said.

“I’ll do as I wish.” Then Cas took a bigger bite of the Nutella sandwich.

Happy eating sounds filled the inevitable silence that came from scarfing down their meal. Dean finished his chicken sandwiches pretty fast. He noticed that Cas was picking at one of his two remaining ones and eye-balling Dean’s last sandwich. Dean picked his up and set it on Cas’ plate, and took one of the chicken ones. Cas smiled, all big and gummy and dove into Nutella part 2.

They finished up and headed back through the mall, full and sated. Cas looked tired, but he didn’t want to head back to the motel. “Well, then you stay with Dean. I’m gonna check out some of the shops then head over to the construction site to say hi to Sam. I’ll see you all back at the motel later.”

Dean opened the shop back up and Cas came in. He sat on one of the seats in the waiting area, while Dean got set back up for more customers. Apropos to nothing, Cas said, “I like you better than Nutella Waffle sandwiches, in case you were wondering.”

Dean stopped wiping down the massage table and said, “Well, I’d hope so.” He walked over and sat down next to Cas.

“I worried that you wouldn’t think so, or more so that you’d think I didn’t feel things given our recent Demeter issues.” Cas looked down at his hands which were now folded into a tight knot.

“You chose us. You came back to your family. That tells me all I need to know.” Dean reached over and set a hand on top of Cas’.

“I let her take me though.”

“And I’m still mad at you about that. You can’t keep doing that to me.” Dean squeezed his hand a little. “You gotta keep staying, right here, with me.”

“Even when you’re frustrating?” Cas winked.

“Especially then. Unless you don’t want that.” Dean looked away for a second before looking back into the deep pools of blue that Cas had fixed on him.

“I want that. I don’t deserve that, so much good fortune, but I want it so much.”

Dean got up then. The intensity of the moment was too much. He felt his own walls crumbling. It was wild to him that Cas felt that he was the one that was undeserving. An angel, he felt undeserving. Dean shook his head. Seconds ticked by, and Dean didn’t face him. Finally he said, “In that, you’re not alone. I want that too.” He turned back to Cas and saw that he’d fallen asleep on the chair, his head tipped to one side, lips already parted on a breath. His hair looked soft and wild. Dean wanted to touch him, brush a finger over his lips, down his jawline. Instead, he got a blanket from the basket by massage table one. He laid it gently on Cas, and went back to tidying up the place.

The next day, Claire left, saying that, “Dean could take care of Cas just fine with a little help  from Sam.” She winked when she said it, like she meant something more. Dean had hugged her anyway, and so had Cas and Sam. When she was gone, there was a kind of sad silence that lingered in the room. Cas fell back into bed and was hard asleep in minutes. Dean stared at the lump of him in the bed for a moment before committing to going to the shop.

“You sure you don’t want me to go instead?” Sam asked.

“Nah, you had a long shift yesterday. You two can come by later if he’s up for it.” Dean opened the door to leave and added, “Don’t let him do too much. He really needs to rest.”

“You can trust me,” Sam huffed.

“I do,” Dean sighed. “It’s him I don’t trust. He’ll tell you he’s fine when he really isn’t just to come help out.”

“He learned from the best.”

“Sadly.” Dean smiled though, as Cas mumbled something and turned over to face the wall. “Anyway, see you both later maybe.”

When he got to the shop it was it was quieter than it had been the day before. The same Christmas songs crooned through the mall. The same shop owners greeted him as he set up for the day. The crowds were just less. Maybe they were all done with the shopping business. Dean called the hospital to check on Al’s progress. They needed to be sure to leave before he got out and came back to the mall to reclaim his business.

When he called, Dean claimed to be Al’s son. That gave him access to some information, though, Dean thought it should have been more difficult. “He’s still unconscious. The doctors are doing more testing today.”

Dean thanked them and went back to his business. A customer rolled in around 11, then no one else until well into the afternoon. He was just thinking of getting lunch when Cas and Sam showed up. “Getting hangry yet?” Sam asked.

“Was just about to head out.” Dean stretched out long and lean toward the ceiling.

“Well, I’ll man the fort, while you and Cas get food.” Sam started taking off his coat. “Bring me back something.” He thought for a moment and said, “A salad.”

As they walked out of the shop toward the food court, Dean looked over Cas. “You still tired?”

“Stop worrying.”

“I’m just checking up on you.”

Cas sighed. “I’m marginally less tired than I was before.”

Dean’s hand came instinctively up to Cas’ back. “Well, just keep resting up.”

“So it’s the food court today huh?”

“Didn’t want you to walk around too much.” Dean kept his hand on Cas’ back as they walked. “I’m guessing that once you’re a hundred percent again, we can head back to the bunker. Jack will likely want to have us back for Christmas.”

“Your mom called and said that they may have decorated.” They turned toward the food court and surveyed their choices. There was a gyro place. Dean walked up to it to order. Cas stopped him, “Don’t forget to get Sam’s salad.”

“It’s why I picked this place.” Dean put in his order, then turned to Cas. “You want anything here?”

Cas looked around and then ordered the same thing as Dean. They got their food and ate in companionable silence. Cas’ foot was pressed up against Dean’s. “We should shop a bit before we head back to the bunker. I think that Mary, Bobby, and Jack have bought presents.”

“Oh, I hadn’t even thought of that,” Dean said. “You been talking to them much since we’ve been here?”

“I check in on Jack regularly. Mary and I have spoken a couple of times.” Cas happily started eating his gyro..

Dean picked up his gyro to take a bite. “Any thoughts on what to buy them?”

“I want to get Jack an electric blanket.”

“He gets cold?” Dean tipped his head to the side skeptically.

“Not really. He just likes the warmth.”

Dean finished off his gyro a few minutes later and wiped his mouth. “Maybe I’ll get him a car he can fix up. We can work on it together like a project.” Dean smiled with the thought.

“Making my electric blanket look cheap,” Cas grumbled.

“It can be from both of us. You can help with the repairs.”

“Yeah, because that’s my specialty.”

“I offered.” Dean shrugged. “Besides, it’s about just spending time together.”

Cas asked, “What’ll you get your mom?”

“I have no idea.”

“I located a sword that I plan to give to her. It had some spellwork done on it that’ll make it very powerful in battle. I think she’ll like it.”

“Well, shit, Cas. How am I gonna top that?”

“Didn’t realize that this was a competition.” Cas shrugged and said, “It could be from both of us.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “That’d be two joint gifts.”

“Yeah,” Cas looked at him questioningly then added, “Is something wrong with that?”

“No, it’s just that you usually only do that when…” Dean got up and started gathering his trash. “Ya know, never mind. Sure.”

“Sure what?”

“Sure I’d like to be part of that gift.”

“Good, then we’ll be even. You took care of Jack, and I took care of Mary. We make a good team, Dean.”

Dean smiled at him and they headed back into the mall. “That we do.”

This time when they went home at the end of the night, Cas didn’t fall into bed in an unconscious heap. Instead he went off to the bathroom to take a shower, then casually slid into the bed like it was a normal night. Dean was still sitting up in the bed with his phone playing Words With Friends with his mom. Cas leaned over and looked at his tile bank. “She’s kicking your ass.”

“Yeah, I have words but nowhere to play them.” Dean reshuffled the letters to see if anything new came together.

“You can play off that triple letter.” Cas pointed.

Sam spoke up from his bed. “Hey, no cheating over there.”

“Like mom isn’t working with Bobby on this.”

“I bet she isn’t,” Sam said.

Dean pulled up his messages and asked her, Hey mom, is Bobby playing Words with you?

She replied back almost instantly, No, why?

Dean showed Cas but didn’t share with Sam. No reason. Sam just said that Cas couldn’t help me since you weren’t getting help.

Cas should be team Mary.

As if, Team Dean.

He snickered a little then showed Cas again. Cas replied out loud, “I’m popular.”

Sam asked, “What’s that about?”

“Nothing, we’re just messaging mom,” Dean said.

“Tell her we’ll be home in a few days.”

“Will do.” Dean typed in that they’d be home and sent it off. “You get presents for them yet Sammy?”

“I picked up some stuff. I’ll finish up tomorrow maybe after work.” Sam sat up more. “Speaking of, I have a shift tomorrow. Cas said he’d like to just go to work with you rather than staying here to sleep.”

Dean looked at Cas. “You do look way better.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Cas shimmied down into the blankets and sheets. “I’m ready to dive back into the work.”

“Then I guess we should try it. Any sign that you’re not feeling good or if you get tired, you can head back into the office, capiche.”

“I capiche,” Cas said with a grin.

They did well, and even Cas pulled off some massages. He got through half of what Dean did, but he was still impressive. It had been a good day, and Dean felt a bit of warmth blossoming in his stomach as he and Cas set about closing up for the night. Dean had found reasons to set his hands on Cas’ hips and snake his way past whenever Cas got himself between the massage tables. It meant pressing in close just a little. Now he was getting the carpet cleaner to wrap up his end of the night rituals.

Dean saw Sam’s tall frame wandering in and waved as he rolled the carpet sweeper over the already clean carpet. “I’m going to a bar with some of the guys from the construction crew,” Sam announced as he strolled in. Sam had a hard hat tucked up under his arm. He was wearing a pair of coveralls that were a bit dusty.

Dean started waving him back out into the mall. “I just cleaned in here. You’re leaving dust trails.”

“Geesh. It’s not that bad.” Sam talked to them from the doorway though. “Anyway, looks like it might be a fun night. You two could come if you wanted.” Somehow Sam didn’t sound like he wanted that.

“So you think Cas and I’d enjoy it?” Dean asked.

“Maybe. I mean, it might be boring to you too though. Lot of construction talk.”

“I think Cas and I will just fend for ourselves. Wouldn’t want to tire the guy out too much,” Dean said as he tossed a thumb over his shoulder in Cas’ direction.

“Sounds good.” Sam glanced over at Cas then back at Dean. “Was thinking I might not make it back tonight.”

“Oh, you got prospects?” Dean waggled his brows at Sam, then glanced over at Cas.

“Maybe. We’ll see. I’ll text you so you don’t worry.”

Dean wandered over to Cas’ side. “Ha, they grow up so fast.” Dean laughed and elbowed Cas a little.

“Shut-up.” Sam pushed off the door frame that he was leaning into and started to go. “See ya manana.”

“Bring breakfast,” Dean called out after him.

Cas finished bagging up the money from the till, and Dean went in the back to shut off the lights. There was an extra dose of silence hanging in the air between them. “You hungry?” Cas asked as they walked out of the mall and into the parking lot.

“Yeah.”

Across the lot was a burger joint that shone like a beacon in the dark. Cars were snaking out around the building and the laughter of teenagers rolled across the space to them. “Wanna get burgers again?” Cas asked.

“Sounds good. Let’s eat them there though. I don’t want to make the room smell all greasy.” Dean fell into step alongside Cas as they headed toward the place. The inside was too bright, but it smelled like heaven. They ordered, and when their food came, they got a small table in the corner. Dean twisted his chair back and forth as he picked at his fries. Cas sipped at a thick strawberry shake.

Dean was wishing he’d ordered one now. As if Cas knew what Dean was thinking, he tipped the shake straw toward him. “Here.”

Dean looked at him like he was going to ask if he was sure. He took the drink though without questioning it and sucked up some of the shake. It was good. He handed it back to Cas. Dean finished his burger and fries first. Cas was a slower eater. It was like he was trying to taste more. It was all still so new to him. Dean felt a deep well of pleasure wash over him as they sat together. He enjoyed the way that Cas seemed to relish the simple things. Dean especially enjoyed watching his eyes open wider as he tasted some new thing or another. Dean liked being the one to introduce him to such things.

Dean even thought that he liked being Cas’ guide more now, because he almost lost Cas again. He’d decided that maybe he should be a bit more appreciative out loud too.

Eventually they left the place and made their way back across the lot toward the Impala. It was way off at the far end of the lot, because Dean was so afraid of someone knocking a dent into it. Halfway across the long, dark walk and Cas’ fingers brushed over Dean’s knuckles. He felt the electricity of the touch run clear up his arm. A few steps more and Cas’ fingers were there again, this time they lingered. Dean glanced at him, but Cas just stared straight ahead. Dean stretched out his fingers, and Cas’ slotted into the spaces between. They walked onward like this, neither speaking or really looking at each other.

They got to the car and Dean reached out to open the passenger’s side door for Cas, like it was a date or something. He froze up a little, but only for a moment. Cas let go of his hand and moved past him to get in. Dean rounded the car to his side. He got in and they drove to the motel. If they’d started talking with each other, Dean could have made a joke. He could have turned it all south, but that didn’t happen.

His pocket buzzed, and he pulled the phone out as they turned into the parking lot at the motel. Dean shut off the car and looked at the message. Not coming home tonight. See ya in the morning. Dean tipped the phone to Cas, so he could read it.

“Good,” Cas whispered, then looked at Dean with something that Dean thought was rather fierce in his eyes. Cas got out of the car and stalked over to the motel room door, before Dean could sort out any of the thoughts that were rolling all about in his head.

Cas stood in the doorway waiting for him. Dean got out of the car and headed to the room. Cas didn’t move when he got close. Dean stopped at the doorway, and Cas reached out a hand to him. He threaded their fingers together again. Dean was coming up with jokes and ridiculous things he could say right now to change this, but he swallowed them back. Cas was looking at him. He pulled him into the room and closed the door behind him. The room was dark save only for what light could get past the edges of the black out curtains.

Cas pressed in close to him. Dean felt the wall at his back, the heat of Cas’ breath on him. He was sure where this was going. He’d be lying to himself if he said it wasn’t something he’d been wanting for some time. The old worries were there though. The old doubts and reasonable concerns. He’d never think this was good enough for Cas. Yet, here was Cas, pressing up into his space, clutching his hand, like he was afraid that Dean might run off.

Dean’s eyes had adjusted to the dark. He could see the slight parting of Cas’ mouth and he wanted to taste his lips, ruck up his shirt and get his hands on him, really feel him. He’d been showing enough skin lately, and Dean felt like it was just too much temptation to keep on ignoring. He didn’t make the move though. He just licked his lips and wanted.

Cas brought his other hand up to Dean’s hip. Dean sucked in a breath as Cas pressed his body against Dean’s. Cas let go of Dean’s hand and traced the side of Dean’s face, cupping it in his palm a moment later. Dean’s heart was hammering in his chest, and he was starting to think that the moment required some words. If he didn’t crack some sort of joke or lighten the mood a little he thought he might pass out. He opened his mouth and said, “Well…”

He didn’t get farther than that, because Cas surged toward him, cutting off whatever dumb thing Dean was going to say by kissing him. There was no finesse in the movement, just the hard rush of his body against Dean’s own. Cas’ hand slid to Dean’s back and pulled him in closer. Dean’s own hands hung loose at his sides, like he was still recovering from the shock. Dean focused on the way Cas’ lips felt and how he moved Dean’s head a little and pressed in more, parting Dean’s lips as he did so.

Dean could taste him now, the hint of salt that lingered from their meal, and the sweetness of strawberries. He thought he’d never be able to eat either strawberries or fries again without thinking of Cas’ lips or the feel of his body warm and solid against his own. A low moan of pleasure escaped his lips. Cas took that as encouragement and pulled him away from the wall.

Dean’s arms found the ability to move again, and he wrapped them around Cas. He held on as they stumbled back into the room. Cas’ legs came into contact with the pull-out bed that had somehow gotten pulled back out. It had to be Sam. Why Sam? So, here it was getting in their way. Cas fell back onto it, taking Dean with him. The screech of the springs and the groan of the whole frame should have discouraged them, but it didn’t. Cas clung to Dean.

Dean started scrambling to get Cas’ shirt up. His fingers fumbled at the buttons that ran up the front of his shirt, but he couldn’t get far in their current position. Cas wasn’t helping matters one bit. Dean left Cas’ mouth, to kiss his jaw, his neck, the smooth skin that lead to his shoulder. Cas was rolling his hips beneath Dean. The springs were sending up a loud complaint.

Cas pushed Dean up. Dean just stared down at him a moment, a little surprised. “This bed is horrible.”

“I know. We established that days ago. Can’t see why Sam opened it up again.” Dean smiled down at Cas beneath him.

“Get up,” Cas commanded. Dean complied, and Cas eased off the bed to join him.”Take that off,” Cas said as he waved at the shirt that Dean was somehow still wearing.

“Oh, thought maybe you were done with this when you told me to get up.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Cas moved closer to him. While he stood in front of Dean, he reached over his shoulder and pulled off his own shirt, tossing it onto the pull-out when he was done. “I’ve wanted this for what feels like forever, and finally, FINALLY, we’re here, and I am not going to do this on that bed when we have a perfectly respectable bed less than three feet away. You and I both deserve better than this medieval torture device.”

Dean just stared at him in the dark room. Cas’ words stirred up the old worries. He gave voice to them. “You deserve better.” It was a whisper of a statement floated out across the small space that separated them.

Cas reached out and hooked a finger into the front of Dean’s jeans and pulled him to him. “I don’t even deserve you, but I want you just the same. Didn’t even know what it was to want before or to really need something. You taught me that. You taught me what it was to need someone and the joy of being needed too.” Cas fell silent a moment, then leaning into the side of Dean’s face he whispered into Dean’s ear, “You know why I fell now, don’t you?”

“Because angels are dicks,” Dean replied.

Cas leaned back and looked at him. “I’m not sure if you’re being funny or if you really believe that’s the reason.”

“I don’t know Cas. I mean, getting away from all that had to be a relief. The way they treated you was…”

“That’s not the reason,” Cas interrupted. “I left for the bare chance of a life with you. I left to be close to you. It was the most selfish act I’ve ever committed, and I don’t regret it. I wanted you Dean. I wanted you to be mine in every way. I wanted to know happiness with you, and becoming a human was the only way that was ever going to be possible.”

Dean swallowed back the lump in his throat and pulled him closer. He wasn’t sure if he could look at him and say what he was thinking. “You didn’t have to fall for that. You could have had whatever you wanted without giving up your grace.” There was so much he felt about the situation, but the fact that Cas was going to die one day, the fact that he had to give up any part of himself, felt like too great a sacrifice.

Cas pulled away again and settled a hand on Dean’s cheek. “Them’s the rules.” He smiled. “If I want to be with you, be loved by you, live and die at your side, I can’t be an angel. In the end, it was an easy choice born from years of contemplation.” He sucked in a breath and added, “You mean everything to me. You must know that.”

And Dean did know that. He knew it even without Cas saying it. He felt it every time they were anywhere near each other. He felt it in the small touches, the way that they just looked at each other. It had been a long slow dance to this, but they were here. And even if Dean thought he didn’t deserve this, even if he thought that it might all be fleeting, gone with the next apocalypse, he was ready to hold onto this for as long as Cas wanted him to. And because of that, Dean found words that weren’t entirely stupid. “Well, okay then.” He smiled at Cas and asked, “What do we do now?”

Cas took his hand and walked him over to the bed. “We make the most of what will likely be our one night in this room without your brother sleeping less than three feet away.” Cas sat back on his bed, and Dean moved to the space between his legs. He reached out and raked his fingers back over Cas’ scalp. He traced out the lines of muscles that ran down Cas’ arm.

Cas undid Dean’s jeans and slid them free. Dean kicked them aside. “For a nudist, you sure are wearing a ton of clothes.”

Cas pulled off his own pants then and kicked them aside. Dean still stood at the edge of the bed looking down at him. “I’m honestly not sure what we do next here,” Cas said.

Dean felt a small laugh rumble up from his throat. He dipped his head down to Cas’ and kissed him. “Smart guy once told me that we were just making it up as we go. Seemed to work out for us then. It’ll likely work out for us now.” Cas leaned back into the bed, and Dean crawled over him. He settled his body gently on top of him. Cas wrapped his arms around him for a moment. They held each other like this.

Cas rolled him over onto his back and kissed him. He reached between them and palmed at the front of Dean’s boxer briefs. Dean rolled up into the pressure. They found new ways over the long night to draw themselves closer to each other. It felt good. It was easy like this. Dean made sure to slow them down. He wanted to savor it, knowing it would never be quite like this again, so new. They coaxed pleasure from each other like they knew exactly what was wanted, needed. Dean thought he could get use to this, to the easy way it was with Cas.

At some point before dawn, Dean rolled onto his side and watched Cas sleep. It was comforting. He hadn’t felt that kind of peace in his life before. Cas gave him that, and he’d make sure to keep it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes with that thought and slept.

Chapter Text

Dean didn’t wake up early, not by any stretch. When he did wake up though, it was because he had reached out to the space beside him, expecting to find a warm body. The dip in the mattress was empty. Dean cracked open an eye and looked at the space--no Cas. He rolled over, thinking that he’d maybe see a light coming from the bathroom. Instead, the bathroom door was open, and the room was empty.

Dean reached out to the nightstand where his phone was plugged in. He turned the phone on and looked at the time. It was nearly nine o’clock. On Mondays the mall opened at ten. He rolled out the sleepy stiffness in his shoulders and considered asking Cas for a massage later. He flicked to the messages on the phone. There was something from both Sam and Cas.

He went with Sam first. The first message was time stamped as having been sent at 8:00. Heading out to get breakfast. What do you guys want?

Then, twenty minutes later. Seriously, what do you guys want?

Clearly, Sam was losing patience. He texted the next string of words individually.

Answer

Me

Or

I’ll

Just

Get

You

Steamed

Veggies

Dean rolled his eyes at that. He considered all the places that Sam could go, and none of them had steamed veggies at this hour. Dean clicked over to Cas’ message next.

I went out for my Monday run. You looked too peaceful to wake up. I considered it though.

Dean laughed and clicked to reply. You should have. Come back. I’m awake.

Cas seemed to have gotten over his tiredness. Dean laid the phone on his stomach and stared up at the ceiling. It had water stains that looked a bit like either rust or blood. He considered getting up and heading out to find Cas, but the bed was too warm and comfortable for him to even consider leaving. The phone buzzed. Dean picked it back up to read it. Are you still in bed?

Yes.

Good. Stay there. Dean wondered if this was a good idea. Sam had to be on his way back. He stayed in the bed just the same. His clothes were somewhere, and he did not feel at all inclined toward finding them, especially not with Cas heading back to the room.

True to form, Sam got back to the room first, because if anyone was ever a bigger, more inadvertent cock block than Sam, well, let’s face it, no one is a bigger more inadvertent cock block than Sam. Dean felt the excitement that came with the sound of the door being opened only to have it sucked immediately away.

“Hey, Dean.” Sam’s hands were full of bags that he dumped on the table. He reached out to the curtain and drew it aside a little bit. Light came through the dusty window in a bright golden slash. Sam looked back at Dean and said, “Well, don’t you look comfortable.”

Dean looked down at himself, shirtless, and thankfully mostly under the sheets and motel comforter. “Yeah, just woke up.”

“Kinda late for you. Guess you didn’t get my messages.” Sam sat down at the table and started pulling out burrito shaped items.

“Just got the messages. Those don’t look like steamed veggies.” Dean grinned as he said it.

“Yeah, well I took pity on you. Just remember who has the best brother.” Sam leaned his chair back into the corner and unwrapped his burrito. “This room is nasty. Smells like a sweaty locker room.”

Dean looked away. “Well, you put a bunch of dudes in a small room, and it’s bound to get rank.”

Sam just dove into the eating. Dean felt his stomach grumble. He wanted to get up, but he was quite naked. He was pretty sure that Sam might make something of that, something that might involve Dean having to talk about feelings and such. Dean was not ready for that, so he stayed put. “You gonna come have breakfast?”

Dean sunk down into the bed a little more and pulled up the sheets to his chin. “Nah, gonna sleep some more.”

Sam’s eyebrow shot up. “You serious?” He leveled a glare at him. “Who’s gonna open up the shop?”

Dean shrugged and rolled onto his side to face Sam. He propped up his head on his hand and said, “You’re awake. Maybe you could cover first shift.”

“Shit, Dean. I have to work at 1:00. I was hoping to get a little down time here, like maybe down time that includes a shower.”

“You look clean.” Dean was struggling to come up with any good excuse. There was none.

Then the door opened and Cas was in the room. The sunlight outside was blindingly bright, and it must have been quite the adjustment coming in from there to the somewhat dark motel room, because Cas said, “Good you’re still in bed. Let’s fuck before Sam gets back.” He was pulling off his t-shirt as he spoke and kicking the door closed in his wake.

Sam nearly choked on his burrito. “Uh, Sam’s back buddy,” Sam said. Sam looked at Dean and asked, “So this is how you two talk when I’m not around?”

Cas said, “Sorry, Sam. Next time, I’ll say make love .”

Now Dean was choking. Sam laughed. “Dean’s trying to convince me to go to work for the first shift.”

“Oh.” Cas looked at Dean and started bending to pick up clothes. “I imagine you’re too tired to do that with all the construction work yesterday and your other prospects.” Cas smiled at him.

“Exactly. You know what, you’re my new favorite brother.”

Dean interrupted, “Hey!”

“Well, in my role as new favorite brother, I’ll go in for both of you. Dean can sleep more, and you can do whatever it is you do.” Cas nodded toward Sam as he spoke. He walked over to his bed then with a handful of clothes that he picked up from off the floor. Dean looked up at him and then glanced down toward his more hidden parts. Cas seemed to pick up on the look and let his own eyes rake over Dean. The slight curve of his lips told Dean that he was imagining all sorts of things. Cas set the clothes on the bed within reach. His hands ran over the pile until he came to Dean’s boxer briefs. He dragged them out of the pile and toward Dean’s hand. “You don’t get to sleep all day. I expect you to come to the shop to help out.”

“You sure you’re up for working solo?” Sam asked. “Just yesterday, Dean was worried you’d pass out.” Dean was still trying to process how it was that Sam was so calm about all that was happening here.

“I am fully recovered,” Cas answered. He watched as Dean snaked the underwear under the sheets to stealthily put on. Cas turned back to Sam. “Got a burrito for me?” He walked over to the table, bending down to pick up the t-shirt that he had missed during the earlier clean-up.

“Of course.” Sam waved over at Dean. “Apparently, he’s on a hunger strike or something.”

Cas threw his sweaty shirt at Dean. Dean caught it. “Get over here and eat.” Dean got out of the bed and tossed the shirt back at Cas as he did so. Cas caught it one handed without even looking at him. Dean sat on the side of Sam’s bed and snatched up a burrito. “So tell us about last night.”

Sam said, “Not much to tell. Got drinks with the crew. Hung out with Jill.”

Dean smirked, “Jill huh?”

“Yeah,” Sam said calmly, but Dean could see the color rising in his cheeks. “So, that bed better than the pull-out?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, feeling his own face heat up with the almost admission. Cas, the bastard, just grinned into each bite of his breakfast.

“I pulled out the sofa bed and took a nap on it earlier yesterday. Didn’t want to mess up the other bed in case you wanted to sleep there and let Cas have his bed back,” Sam said. “Guess you all didn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t coming home last night.”

Cas just shrugged. Dean was confused. Cas literally said we should fuck. How did Sam miss that?

“So, we gonna pack it up here soon?” Sam asked.

“Seems like it,” Cas said.

“Let’s give this place one more night,” Dean suggested.

“Sounds like a good plan.” Sam finished off the last bite and got up. “You need to shower before you go in.”

Cas got up. “Yeah, I'll be quick, then it's all yours.”

Cas set down his half eaten burrito and went to the bathroom. As soon as he closed the door, Dean got up and moved to Sam’s old seat. Sam was watching him. “What?” Dean asked.

“Not sure. Something's different.” Sam sat back down, this time in Cas’ old spot and just stared at him. “Can't put my finger on it.”

Dean ate the burrito and waited for Sam to catch up. Seriously, for someone that spends most of his time connecting the dots, Sam is absolutely failing right now. “Ya gonna keep staring at me creeper?”

“Nah, that'll get boring after a while.” Sam smiled and drummed at the table. “So I guess Cas is still trying to make you uncomfortable. Looks like he's moved on from nudity to taunting you.”

Oh. “Well, you know Cas.”

Sam was still watching him like he was trying to see something. Dean intended to keep this conversation from progressing. This was the short trip to Feelings Town and he needed time to figure that out for himself first.

Sam finally broke the silence. “Pretty sure you know this already, but…” Sam paused like he didn't know what to say next. Dean swallowed down the bite of burrito that was in his mouth. “I mean, you know he has feelings for you right? Like not brother feelings.”

“Okay, Sam. Enough of that.” Dean rolled his eyes to hopefully, effectively end the conversation.

“There's a reason why he's always giving you the eye and taking off all of his clothes around you all of the time.”

“We share a room, Sam.” A small silence stretched out between them.

Cas came out of the bathroom. Thank God. “All yours, Sam.” Cas was wearing his towel wrapped around his waist. Dean couldn’t even cover for the fact that he was staring. This is some high quality porn level shit right here. Sam got up and moved past Cas, stopping at the dresser to snag some clean clothes, because Sam decided early on that they were gonna be here long enough to actually unpack a little. Cas had his back to Sam and gave Dean a wink. He moved back over to the table and looked like he was considering eating the rest of his food. Sam went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Cas moved closer to Dean. “You’re gonna be late for work,” Dean said. Dean moved a little in his seat to face him. Cas moved into the space between the bed and the table. He stood between Dean’s legs looking down at him.

“So what.” Cas set a hand on either side of Dean’s head on the back of the chair. The noise of Sam’s shower turning on caused Cas to turn a little. His lips curled up. He leaned down to kiss Dean.

“Sam’s like right there,” Dean said, but he felt himself leaning toward Cas all the same.

“Like I said, so what.” Cas kissed him. Dean felt his head falling back into the chair a little as the kiss deepened. Cas broke the kiss and stood back with a slight look of disgust. “Your mouth tastes atrocious.”

“And they say romance is dead,” Dean laughed.

“You need to give that some attention before you come to work.” Cas waved a finger around in front of Dean’s mouth.

“Dude, I just got up. I was content to just keep on laying there. Not my fault you want to taste the rainbow before I’ve even had time to get all presentable.” Dean put his hands on Cas’ hips and pressed a kiss to his bare stomach.

“I just showered.”

Dean kissed lower, just below his belly button. “Umhuh,” Dean said between kisses.

“I’m gonna take the Impala. You’ll have to walk or Uber or something. That okay?” Cas moved his hands to the sides of Dean’s face and angled him up for some solid eye contact.

“Sounds fine.”

“Really?” Cas leaned down and pressed a kiss to Dean’s forehead. “Thought you’d fight me on that.”

“I trust you.” Dean started to slide his hands up under the towel along Cas’ thighs. Cas only let him get close to the goal before backing off. “Ah, come on.”

“Sam’s right there you know.” Cas moved to the other side of the room where his duffel bag was. Dean’s laughter chased him as he went.

Chapter Text

Dean had time to think as he left Sam behind at the motel. The walk to the mall wasn't so long. The path did meander though through some trees and past a little stream. It was a peaceful walk. He let his eyes follow the water as it curled around small rocky shores. He noted the way it reflected the sunlight that found its way through the trees. It was a stark contrast to the way the mall looked, all grey concrete and a mile of black asphalt all around. The stream seemed to disappear rather suddenly at the edge of the mall’s property line, and Dean could only assume that it ran onward beneath the ground. As he walked from the path to the parking lot of the mall, he couldn't help but let his mind slip over onto thoughts of the night before, how it was, and how he'd fallen so easily into it all after all of these years.

He didn't admit anything to Sam. It was too soon, Dean told himself. He wanted this thing for just him. Talking about it might change it too much. Dean thought about that a bit and realized that it might be more than that.

I’ll tell him soon enough. It’s only been one night. Dean nodded to himself, almost believing that he had it all worked out well enough.  Dean walked on with his thoughts until he came to the parking lot of the mall. He scanned the rows, looking for the Impala. He spotted her far off on the end of one of the rows, separated out from other cars by several empty spaces. It was where he would have parked had he driven. He felt a warmth run through him at the the thought that Cas knew him well enough to pick the right spot.

He strolled into the mall which was already bustling a little. He hoped that he wasn’t going to find Cas slammed with customers. He hadn’t exactly been hurrying to get into work. He felt pretty bad about that all of a sudden. Cas after all had been laid up pretty badly by Demeter. Here Dean gets one night of passion and suddenly he’s not thinking straight. He quickened his steps toward the shop.

Should make sure to give him a break right off. Dean made his way inside and saw a guy leaning against the opening. Dean began walking past him. “There’s a line buddy,” the guy said.

“I work here.” Dean tossed off a grin.

“Oh, sorry.”

Dean moved past him and saw that the seats in the so-called waiting area were filled. Cas glared at him a little as he strolled past. “The gentleman seated on the end is next.” Cas nodded over to the waiting area as he whispered. He looked stern, and Dean wondered how he’d repair the mood that they had lost in just over an hour. He certainly had ideas.

“Sorry,” Dean whispered as he moved off to get the customer going. The guy was reading from one of their rather old magazines. Dean stood in front of him and said, “I’m Dean. I’ll be giving you your massage.” Dean motioned to the table next to Cas. He pulled off his jacket and handed it to Dean. He then got onto the massage table face down. Dean hung up the jacket and asked, “Any areas that are bothering you more than others?”

“My shoulders. Maybe focus on that area for me.” The voice was muffled by the position that he was in, but Dean caught what he was saying just the same.

Dean braced himself against the table and dug into the guy’s shoulders a bit. He seemed to melt a little with the touch. Dean got his elbows involved and after a few minutes hazarded a glance at Cas. It was hard limiting conversation that he thought they needed to have right now, but the clients didn’t tend to want much talk happening while they were trying to relax. Cas looked at him and seemed to be mirroring his technique. Dean moved to the client’s head and dug his thumbs into the muscle that ran up to his neck. The guy actually moaned a bit with the effort.

Cas smiled across at him after that. Cas dug his own thumbs into his client’s shoulders, but didn’t get the same response. He walked his palms down the guy’s back and heard a little huff of a noise. Dean had to stifle a laugh at how proud Cas looked with that. They continued trying to one up each other for the next fifteen minutes. The people waiting were getting a bit antsy, so Cas ended first and rang up his client. He pulled a double.

Dean pulled a double too, a little while later. The guy also threw him a wink and seemed like he was going to start up a conversation. Dean was fine with chatting a little, but he had some more people to get through. The guy seemed to sense that and left. Cas was already working on his new client, and Dean got the next person on his own table in an attempt at keeping up. From the looks of things, they’d have a long day ahead of them. Too bad Sam’s not available.

---

By 5:00 Dean was just barely keeping himself going. He thought he’d be able to power through until the evening without feeling it, but they were slammed all day. Cas seemed to notice. He left his client for a moment and pulled the screen in front of the entrance. He took out a paper from behind the counter and a little tape. He was making a sign. Dean couldn’t read it from where he was working, but he hoped that it said, closed early. Cas went off, seemingly to hang it up and then came back to his client. They worked side by side. Dean liked watching the way Cas worked, the way his arm muscles flexed with his efforts. Dean liked thinking about how they had been the night before, how Cas’ arms had felt around him.

They cleared out the last of the customers, and Dean noticed that a few had come to the door, read the sign, and turned away. Dean walked out to read the sign. Taking my boyfriend out to dinner. We’ll be closing at 5:30.

“Really?” Dean came back in and started cleaning up his workspace.

“What?” Cas asked.

“The sign?” Dean waved in the general direction of the sign.

“I noticed that you didn’t take it down. Sounds like you don’t mind so much.” Castiel smirked.

“I certainly have no complaints about shutting down early. Can’t believe how busy we were.” Cas moved over to him in just a few graceful steps. “Invading my personal space there, Cas?”

“You complaining?”

“Not even a little.” Dean leaned down and popped a kiss on his waiting lips. “So where you taking me out to dinner?”

“Oh, no. You’re taking me out to dinner. I don’t want you to think I’m easy.” Cas stepped away a moment, then turned in a little circle. “This right here is boyfriend material.”

Dean laughed. “When did you get like this? What happened to the strange, dorky little guy I used to know?”

“I was never little.”

“Yeah, well, beg to differ.”

Cas came back up to him and nudged him toward the wall. They were eye to eye then, and Cas dragged his lips along Dean’s jaw. “Do you really?”

“I’ve been wrong on occasion.” Dean sucked in a shuddering breath.

“Where will you take me?” Cas asked on a breath.

“Anywhere.” Dean opened his eyes. “We made a shit ton of money today.”

“Well, then, let’s go. I know a place uptown.”

“Uptown huh? When’d you get all fancy?” Dean glanced down at his clothes. “We aren’t exactly dressed for uptown.”

“Well, then we better swing by the motel to change. I’ll try not to take advantage of you while you change.” Cas winked and walked past him to the door. “Grab the money, and I’ll lock up.

Dean did as he was told, then seemed to realize that this was the last time they’d be in the place. “End of an era,” Dean said.

Cas came back to his side. “Make sure to put Al’s cut in the back.” They’d been making sure to leave a bit for the original owner. They didn’t want to screw him over just because he wasn’t there. “I’m gonna miss this,” Cas said as Dean came back out of the office.

“Me too. It was nice feeling almost like normal people.” Dean looped an arm around Cas’ waist. They headed out together. They got to the car and let the low rumble of its engine do the talking for them. They headed back to the motel to find Sam already packing up.

“Sam?” Cas put a question on the name.

“I was just about done packing. I was gonna come down and get you all going.”

“Thought we were gonna stay one more night.” Dean started looking around the bed for any stray clothes.

“Yeah, about that,” Sam started. “Al is conscious. We gotta get outta Dodge before anyone discovers that we don’t belong.” He zipped up Dean’s duffel and tossed it to him. Cas was already taking care of his own. “You all leave the place decent?”

“Of course,” Cas said. “We’re not neanderthals.”

“You need to go say bye to your lady friend?” Dean asked.

“She knows about hunting and such. We exchanged numbers.” Sam moved into the bathroom and back out again, saying, “The bathroom is all clear.”

“So, to the bunker?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, let’s go home,” Sam said with a grin.

---

The car roared down the highway, the music blared around them, and the sun sank past the horizon. Dean thought he could go on for at least another four hours despite the long day they’d had. Sam was fiddling with his phone, and Cas was leaning up into the space between them from the back seat. Every now and then he’d comment on some passing bit of scenery.

“I got Jack a lockpick kit,” Sam said. He reached over and turned down the music. “Figured I’d start building up his collection of personal tools.”

“That’s a good gift,” Dean said. “Me and Cas are getting him a car and an electric blanket.”

“Really?” Sam scowled at Dean. “Really?”

“What?” Dean asked.

“You don’t think that’s a bit much? I mean, he’s only three.”

Cas laughed, “He’s hardly three. He’s seen way more in his life than any three year old. That has to count for something.”

“Yeah, what Cas said.”

Sam just shrugged. “Guess I need to go shopping again.” He tipped his head back. “Mom and Bobby are making a feast for all of us. Claire's there, and Jody will be coming out too. We should be back just in time for Christmas even with staying in a hotel tonight.”

“Funny, I didn’t realize how close it was. Guess all this honest work kept me from noticing.” Dean saw the lights of a small town up ahead. “I’m gonna exit and get some gas.”

He pulled into the bay next to the pump. Sam got out declaring that he was gonna grab some snacks. Dean and Cas got out too. Dean got the gas going and leaned back against the door to wait for the tank to fill. The windows of the convenience store glowed with golden late night light. The edges of the windows were trimmed with holiday lights.

Cas leaned into the space next to Dean, letting his fingers brush the back of Dean’s hand. He didn’t try to hold him. Dean rather preferred this in the moment. It was like so many past moments between them. Dean had spent years seeking out these minute connections, these subtle touches, and quiet comforts. He loved them for their simplicity. He also loved them for the way that they belonged only to them. Cas seemed to know that. He moved his hand back and forth just a little to let the touch feel purposeful.

“We gonna tell him outright?” Cas asked.

“Not just yet.”

“Why not?”

“I like having this just for me without all the talk of what it means,” Dean said as he looked directly into Cas’ eyes.

“What does it mean?”

Dean smiled and said, “Smart guy I know, once said that we had a more profound bond.” Dean leaned his shoulder into Cas and added, “Guess that bond is pretty damn profound.”

“When will we tell them?”

“When it feels right. Maybe in a few days.”

“So, should I sleep in my usual room when we get home?” Cas looked off toward the convenience store window as he said it. Sam was at the register. He’d be out soon, and the spell would be broken.

“Not unless you’re already tired of my company. I mean, I get it if you want some space.”

Cas interrupted him, “Not on your life.”

“Good then. Glad that’s settled.” Dean topped off the tank and returned the pump to its holder. Sam came out to join them.

“I’m gonna sit in the back and stretch out. You mind, Cas?”

“Not a bit.” Cas leaned in to look inside of the bag that Sam had. “You got me pork rinds.”

“Yeah, they may be nasty, but you do love them.” Sam pulled them out and handed them to Cas. “Got you some jerky, Jerk.” Sam tossed the bag of jerky over to Dean as he rounded the car.

“Thanks, Bitch.”

---

They took turns driving through the night. Somehow, now that the case was done and the bunker was the next stop, no one really wanted to prolong the journey. So, despite their initial plans to stay in a motel, Cas drove the final leg and was the one to pull into the garage. Dean was asleep next to him in the passenger seat, and Sam was quietly snoring in the back.

He shut off the car and Dean started to stir but didn’t wake up. The door to the bunker opened and someone came through. Cas just watched, letting the moment linger. After a long drive, the silence that comes from the killing of the engine can be a thing of glory. Jack came into the garage and stood just outside the car waiting for them to emerge. “We’re home,” Cas announced.

Dean woke up and Sam sort of woke up. Mostly he just grumbled and rubbed at his eyes. Cas got out of the car. “Welcome home,” Jack said all smiles. He was pulling Cas into a hug before he even fully got free of the car.

Cas hugged him back, good and tight. “How’ve things been here?”

“Calm.” Jack let Cas go and moved onto Sam, who was sleepily dragging himself out of the car. “Claire showed up, and we’ve been decorating with Bobby and Mary.”

Sam was being hugged during the exchange of information. “Missed you too buddy,” Sam said.

Dean came around the car and pulled Jack into a hug next. “So it’s gonna look like Christmas vomited all over our home, isn’t it?” He let Jack go.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Jack seemed to consider then added, “It’s festive.”

They gathered their stuff and followed Jack into the bunker. “I’m bracing myself for the worst,” Dean said.

“Everyone waited up for you. I thought you’d stay the night somewhere, but Mary was tracking your phones and said you’d all show up tonight.”

Sam said, “Really? How’d she figure out how to do that?”

Jack stopped mid-step and turned fully toward Sam. “Your mom is very smart, Sam.”

“I know, it’s just that…” Sam started.

“Boys, you’re home!” Mary came to each of them and hugged them tight. “Come see the mess we made of your place.” She took Dean’s hand and dragged him down the hall to the war room. “Not bad huh?” Mary was grinning ear to ear.

Cas stood off to the side, taking it all in. The room was entirely decorated with every Christmas bauble and strand of garland one could acquire. There was a very tall tree set up just beneath the staircase. There were more presents beneath the tree than Cas had ever seen collected in one place. “It looks amazing, Mary.”

The lights on the tree gave it a golden glow. She had made a type of garland for it out of old plaid shirts it seemed. Dean was walking up to it to get a closer look. “Did you cut up our shirts?” He was touching one part of the plaid garland with his fingertips now and looking back at her.

“Only the ones that were too far gone to be worn anymore. Seemed wasteful to just throw them in the trash.” Mary reached back and took Sam’s hand and dragged him over to the tree. “I even had everyone make something like an ornament to add to the tree. I wanted it to represent our little found family of hunters.”

Sam pulled her into a sideways hug. “It really looks great, mom. Makes me wish we’d come home sooner.”

“Well, at least we didn’t miss Christmas.” Cas set a hand on both Dean’s shoulder and also Mary’s. “I’m ever grateful to have all of you in my life.”

Mary let go of Sam and turned to Cas. She hugged him tight. “I’m grateful to have you in my life and in my boys’ lives too. Bonus son!” she declared into his shoulder.

“What is all this emotional stuff?” Bobby called out as he entered the room. “They were only gone a few weeks.” He was all smiles though. Then everyone else started pouring in from halls and rooms. Claire looked sleepy, but happy to see them. There was a lot of catching up and someone at some point made some strong eggnog to pass around.

---

As far as 3:00 am reunions go, this one was wonderful. An hour in though, and Dean was ready to crash for the night. Cas looked like he was barely keeping his eyes open, and he was leaning quite heavily into the doorway to the observatory. Dean walked over to him and took up residence at his side. “You should head to bed. I’ll follow you in a bit,” Dean whispered.

Cas looked up to the doorway that he was standing in, and Dean followed his gaze. Mistletoe. “It’s tradition.” Cas smirked.

Dean glanced around the room, and saw that no one was even remotely looking at them. They all had their little clusters of conversations going, and the eggnog made everything pleasant. He leaned in quick and pecked the side of Cas’ lips. “There, now go to bed.”

“Weak. I expected more tongue,” Cas said as he walked away toward the hall and the bedrooms.

Dean just shook his head. Cas would be the death of him. He made the rounds and said goodnight. He made his way toward his room, the sounds of all of the hunters humming in his wake. He pushed open the door to his room and found Cas already passed out face down in the pillow.

Dean quietly closed the door behind him and started pulling off his clothes. He slipped into the bed and scooted closer to Cas. He wrapped his arms around him and breathed in his earthy scent. “You really asleep?” Dean whispered.

“I’m really asleep,” Cas whispered back. He nuzzled deeper into Dean’s side though and wrapped his own arms around Dean too. “You sleep too.”

“Thought you wanted a bit more tongue,” Dean said as he kissed Castiel’s temple. “You really want to sleep?”

“Dean,” Cas had a little more force in his tone. “I love you. Go to sleep. I just need four hours.”

Dean pulled back. “Cas.” Dean poked at him when he didn’t respond. “Cas.”

“Dean, sleep, please.”

“You said you love me.”

Cas cracked open one eye and said, “Dean, I’m certain that I haven’t uncovered for you some great mystery. Obviously, I love you. Now if you love me, even a little, I’m asking for just the smallest bit of sleep.” His hand came up then and fully settled right on Dean’s face. Dean reached up and moved Cas’ hand down a little. He kissed Cas’ palm. He closed his eyes and smiled into Cas’ hand. He decided to be patient and to let Cas have the smallest bit of sleep.

---

Christmas morning came to them after a night of good eating and more socializing. The plan was to get up early in the morning and have piles of pancakes before tearing into the mountain of presents. Dean and Cas stayed up late wrapping presents and not wrapping presents, but Dean was entirely awake at 5:00 am. He wanted to get breakfast started for the masses before said masses woke up.

So far no one seemed to be the wiser about the changes in his and Cas’ relationship. They both managed to be the first up and sneaky enough to avoid detection for two whole nights.

Dean was pouring the first dollops of batter on the hot grill when Cas wandered into the kitchen. He immediately went to Dean, kissed him quick, then headed for the coffee. “Is it possible to die from a lack of coffee?”

Dean laughed and said, “Not likely, but you shouldn't risk it.”

Cas got his coffee and came to Dean’s side. He stood right up next to him as Dean flipped the pancakes over, revealing their golden sides. “I’m starving.”

“You’ll get the first pancake then.” Dean reached over and got a plate. Cas stayed right at his side, sipping at the coffee.

“Are we doing presents with everyone after this?”

Dean tipped his gaze to Cas and said, “Yeah. I’m pretty excited too. Jack’s gonna love the car.”

“I can’t believe you’ve kept this a secret for so long,” Cas said.

“Turns out I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.” Dean dipped down and planted another kiss on Cas’ lips.

Dean started flipping pancakes onto a plate for Cas just as Cas snaked his hand around Dean’s waist then down. He got a good handful of Dean’s ass. “Yeah, we’ll see how long you can keep that up.”

“Now you’re worried about me keeping things up. Clearly, you have no faith.” Dean laughed. He handed Cas the plate of pancakes just as Sam was walking into the kitchen. Dean took a small step to the side, making room for Jesus. Cas stepped back into his space and took the plate.

“Once your brother leaves, let’s go back to your room and make love.” Cas smiled and then glanced at Sam.

“You’re still harassing him I see.” Sam came to the counter and drummed away at the corner of it.

“Someone has to.”

“No, actually, no one has to,” Dean replied.

Sam just laughed and Cas joined him. “Well then I guess I shouldn’t joke with you then. From now on, I’ll only be serious.” Cas gave Dean a look that might best be described as a smouldering glare. “So once your brother leaves, let’s go get really naked together.”

“God, what did I walk in on today? You two.” Sam scooped up a plate. “Give me some pancakes so I can deal with this.”

Dean whipped up another short stack of pancakes and gave them to Sam. Once he had his sustenance, Sam retreated to the table with Cas. They ate silently for a few minutes, which Dean counted as a blessing. Still, he did wonder how Sam could be so clueless. “Dean,” Cas called over. “You might be the best pancake maker I’ve ever met. This is amazing.”

“Glad to be of service.”

“I might have to marry you, before it gets out what a catch you are.”

“Well, Cas, I’m not going anywhere.” Dean flipped some more pancakes onto a plate. His mom came in followed by Bobby and then Jack and Claire.

“Everybody’s stirring,” Mary said as she came to the counter for some pancakes. Dean got more plates out so that people could get their fill before heading to whatever table they chose. Dean was happy to see his closest people all gathered at the tiny kitchen table.

“It’s rather nice being able to actually celebrate a holiday without an apocalypse looming over our heads.” Bobby took one of the plates of pancakes from Mary as she came to the seat next to him. They were so in sync that Dean found himself feeling rather glad that they’d found each other.

Dean watched them for a few moments and then said, “I’m glad we all made it through that last mess.” He looked down at his pancakes then back at them and added, “Thanks for never giving up on me.”

Mary said, “Like any of us know how to do that.” She got up though and came to him. She pulled him into a tight hug. “I love you, Dean.” She pulled back and took his face in her hands. “My boy,” she said with such pride in her tone that Dean felt himself losing a battle with his emotions.

She let him go and then went to Sam. She took his head in her hands and planted a kiss in his unruly mop of hair. “Ah, mom.”

Then she came over to Cas and did the same. “My bonus boy.”

“I’m older than you by millenia, Mary.” She leaned in and kissed him on top of his head again.

“Doesn’t change a thing.” She smiled down at him then moved on to Jack. “Other bonus boy.” She hugged him to her side. He hugged her back. She just smiled at Claire. “Merry Christmas family.”

Claire said, “Merry Christmas.” Cas got up and hugged her to him. He didn’t even question the moment. She hugged him back. “Merry Christmas you idiot.”

“Rude,” Cas said into her hair as he kissed the top of her head.

“Fine, love ya or something,” Claire hugged his side tighter.

“Wow, you lot have a lot of girly feelings spilling out all over my breakfast here.” Bobby stabbed some pancakes and ate them with gusto.

Mary wandered back to the other side of the table and hugged Bobby, saying, “You can act all tough all you want, but ain’t nothing girly about telling people you care about them, especially when you’ve lost so much, so many times.”

She leaned down and gave Bobby a good, close look. He said, “Reckon you might be right about that.”

Cas let Claire go and walked back to Dean’s side. “Funny thing, isn’t it?”

Dean moved more pancakes to a plate and said, “What?”

“How often we’ve lost everything.” Cas paused for a moment as if he was really thinking through the rest, then he said, “You’d think we’d learn to always live life like it was ending, but we don’t. We guard our emotions, like we have so much time to do so. We worry about what people will think of us, and we don’t just live.”

“Are you talking about us or hunters in general?” Dean asked.

“I think you know.” The rest of the room fell quiet, and Dean wondered why they found this conversation so riveting. Dean shut off the grill.

“I think some hunters are just idiots. I mean, when you really think about it, life is always damn near over for us. Who would want to risk getting emotional with someone? Also, this life isn’t good for relationships.”

“You really think that?”

Dean looked away then back. “Most days. It keeps me from ruining anyone’s life.”

Cas went back to his seat, but he looked a little unsettled. Dean tipped his head back and let out a deep sigh. Sam was watching him. He said, “So, what the heck was that all about?”

Dean gave himself a three count. Three. Gonna do this. Two. In front of my family. One. And it’ll be alright. He took three precise steps to Cas. He stared down at him until Cas looked up at him. Everyone was silently watching them. “And then you meet someone that makes you want stupid things, like a relationship and an apple pie life. And even though you tell yourself that you aren't good at that whole love thing, you find yourself wanting to try for him.”

Dean reached out and cupped Cas’ cheek in his hand, then leaned down and kissed him full on the mouth. There would be no denying what this was to any of them. There’d be no going back, no claiming this was a joke, and no quiet dissolution of things if this just didn’t work out. They all knew and would know what this was. He let Cas go and stood to face his family.

They were all smiling at him. “You all owe me five bucks. Pony up,” Sam said.

They all started fishing out dollar bills, except for Jack. “I don’t owe anything,” Jack said.

“Yeah, well, that’s just a technicality,” Sam said.

“Wait, what?” Dean sputtered.

Jack said, “I said that you were already together even if it was just your souls. Sam said that didn’t count for purposes of the wager.”

“Wager, what wager?” Dean asked as he looked to Sam for answers.

Mary supplied the answer though, “Sam said he was pretty sure that things were going to escalate between you two any time now. Claire said, ‘Well, if it hasn’t happened by now, then it’s not gonna happen.’ To which Sam said, he’d bet five dollars that before the year was out, you two would change things up.”

“I thought it’d take another year. I mean, you two have mastered the art of the slow burn romance here,” Claire said. “I was hoping that I’d be wrong though, if that’s any consolation.”

Bobby chimed in and said, “I asked how long you two had been like this.” Bobby waved a hand out at them. “When they told me ten years, I said, well, this ain’t changing anytime soon and took the bet.”

Sam said, “I figured, you all just needed some encouragement or at least some quality time without me third wheeling you two.”

“Not like you were ever gone,” Dean said. He sat down at Cas’ side.

“I wouldn't say that. I was gone plenty on this hunt. And I was good at playing ignorant when things obviously progressed into Relationship Town.” Sam winked at them and threw in a little smirk just to make Dean feel a bit embarrassed.

“So you all knew?”

“Yep,” Mary said. “Sam called home just to tell us that we’d have to pay up, but that you two hadn’t come clean yet. This got the second bet going.”

Cas spoke up then. “You took bets on how long we’d wait to tell you about us?”

“Yep, and Sam won that one two.” Claire rolled her eyes.

Cas looked at Jack. “What did you guess?”

Jack said, “You already told us through your actions, so therefore, I should be considered the winner right alongside Sam.”

“Nope,” Sam said. “I’m the champion.”

Cas wrapped an arm around Dean and said, “Well, this makes everything a whole lot easier.” He paused a moment and added, "I was wondering how I'd explain the large box of massage oil I was giving you for Christmas."

"God, Cas," Sam said on a laugh. "Guess some things won't change. Glad you two worked out your shit."

"Me too. This'll make things much easier for Dean. He's not good at keeping secrets." Cas smiled at him.

“If you say so,” Dean grumbled. They all laughed and ate, and moved on to other topics. Cas’ hand didn’t leave the small of Dean’s back. The warmth spread through him, just like it always would. The day was looming, and it was Christmas, and somehow, everything was alright.