Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The thing about having one teen daughter and one 6 year old freeloader (who had been here long enough for Kogoro already develop some kind of fatherly protection over the brat) is that he wasn’t very trained for situations like the one he was currently in.

He had Conan standing by his legs, Ran cooking in the kitchen with some kind of sad look on her face and a very slow pace to her movements, and Kogoro couldn’t be more concerned.

The thing about Ran is that he knew she bottled all her feelings up. If she was sad, she usually brushed off any questions by saying she was fine and smiling. 

"Is Ran-neechan alright?" Conan asked quietly, looking up at Kogoro. Kogoro frowned, crossing his arms.

"Does she look alright?" Kogoro snapped a bit, crossing his arms and tapping his foot. "Something’s obviously on her mind."

"What do you think it is?" Conan asked, ever the curious little brat.

Kogoro sighed, exasperated. If he knew he’d be doing something about it! Kogoro stood up. “Ran, How long until dinner is ready?” He asked, leaning into the kitchen.

"Huh?" Ran looked behind her, like she just noticed she wasn’t the only person in the small home. "Oh…About 5 minutes?" 

"Alright, Save my portion for later then. I’m going out." Kogoro said and turned on his heel, ignoring any questions asked by Ran or Conan. "I’ll be back after dinner." He announced, putting on his jacket and shoes, leaving the room and not looking back at them.

Conan looked at Ran, who looked back at the food. Something about Kogoro leaving all of the sudden just made her look more sad.

"Ran-Neechan…Do you want some help?" Conan asked, standing in the kitchen doorway. 

Ran shook her head. “I’ve got it handled, Conan. It’s fine.” She smiled weakly at him and continued with her cooking. 

Conan stepped back and sat back down at the table, watching Ran with a worried look. 

—

Kogoro sighed, walking back to his agency that doubled as his home, a plastic bag in his hand. “Damn. I really should have eaten before I left at least…” Kogoro mumbled, his stomach growling. “Or at least brought a beer to drink…” 

Though, Kogoro knew he shouldn’t be drinking again. He had already had plenty today. 

Walking up the stairs to his home, he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. Most of the lights were off, a sure sign that the two living there had either resigned to their rooms, or by the tv. 

Walking into the dining room that doubled as a living room, he found one of the pair of two. Conan had fallen asleep at the table, his face in a book. 

Typical. 

Kogoro eyed the time on the clock. It was 10:54, they had a much later dinner tonight. Kogoro noted that in his head, to remember for later. He had to start getting them out to earlier dinners, eating at 9:30 to 10 every night wasn’t very good for them.

Putting the bag down on the table, he scooped up the 6 year old and carried him off to their shared room.

"Honestly, this brat should really learn to manage his time better…" Kogoro grumbled, and Conan stirred a bit. Kogoro froze up, eyeing Conan. He really didn’t want this kid to wake up all of the sudden.

They weren’t on the best of terms (Conan had even stated he doesn’t trust him and gives him the biggest “what-the-fuck-even-are-you” looks half of the time.) and if this kid woke up and saw who was carrying him? 

Well, that probably wouldn’t end well. 

Luckily, he made it to the room and managed to get Conan put into his bed and under the covers. 

"Should really invest in trying to give that kid an actual room…" Kogoro left the room, flicking off the light and grabbing that bag off the table, then turning back around to get to Ran’s room. 

Her door was shut, but the light was on. He knocked on the door. “Ran? Oi, open up.” He knocked again. 

Ran opened the door and the look on her face broke Kogoro. She looked like a kicked puppy, and her eyes were red. She had been crying.

Kogoro frowned for a second, then looked away, holding out the bag to her. “Get some rest.” Was all he said before turning around and going to the kitchen, walking quickly. 

Ran blinked, shutting her door again. The bag was a bit heavy, and cold…Ran opened it and a little surprised laugh escaped her mouth.

Cookie dough ice cream and a spoon. 

Ran sat back on her bed, smiling lightly. “Thanks, Dad.” She muttered.

Chapter Text

"So, What’re you supposed to even be doing here?" Kogoro asked from his desk, watching Conan dig through the craft bucket (which Ran generously let him borrow), pulling out some green felt to glue down onto the shoe box.

"Make a diagram of a park or forest." Conan said, not even looking up from his work. 

How did one kid managed to look so focused yet so bored at the same time? 

"Why d’you gotta make that? Extra credit?" Kogoro got up and walked over to hover, watching Conan piece together a little park scene. Why would this kid need extra credit? He had the highest marks in the class. (Though, that Haibara kid was catching up real fast.)

"It’s a project. I dunno why they made us do it." Conan looked up at Kogoro. "Science, I guess?" 

Kogoro shrugged. He wasn’t too interested in his son’s—

Kogoro shut off that thought right as it started. This was not his child. (But sometimes, It really did feel like he was.) 

Trying to ignore the fact that he just actually thought that, Kogoro sat down by the craft bucket. “I can help you. I’ll hand you things.”

"I don’t need any help." Conan mumbled, peeling glue off his fingers. 

"Who doesn’t want help from the great Kogoro Mouri?! Idiots, that’s who." Kogoro frowned. "Don’t use so much glue, brat." 

Conan gave Kogoro one of his ~looks~ (The ones that said “Are you kidding me right now did you just call me that how old are you”) and then resumed picking at glue.

Kogoro always felt a little bad calling the kid a brat or a jerk (Even if he was one sometimes) but he didn’t know what else to call him.

He could call him Conan. That’s a thought. But he loved nicknames, and giving them.When Ran was little he used to call her princess almost every day, And she’d give him the brightest smile and nod and agree that yes, she WAS a princess. She was the strongest princess of them all. 

Kogoro shivered at his thoughts.

Oh god, He was getting old. 

…Well, He’s 37. He hasn’t his the big Four-Oh yet but…The age of gray hairs and wrinkled ugly old person face was starting to press on his mind more and more. How he wished for a fountain of youth.

"Uncle, are you even listening to me?" Conan broke his thoughts. "I asked you to hand me some of that green felt." 

"Yeah, whatever." Kogoro grumbled, handing the felt off. 

Aaaand another instance where Kogoro mentally whacked his head. 

Anger and coming off as indifferent and irritated was a general thing he did when he honestly didn’t know what to do. (It was one of the reasons why Eri left him, he argued with her because he didn’t know what else to do because he was losing her.) 

Calling the kid brat and always being angry when he makes a suggestion was just a way of Kogoro trying to cope. Trying to accept who this kid was.

This kid was a lot more than he was letting onto be, Kogoro knew that much.

As he continued to hand Conan felt and little cotton balls to make trees and clouds, Kogoro decided that on that day, three things were realized.

One) He had to stop being so rude to Conan.

Two) It is extremely hard to force down his Papa bear instincts with this 6 year old waltzing around his home and acting like he had been there in the family since he was born.

Three) Elementary school kids have to make really really stupid things.

"This is a pain in the ass." Kogoro mumbled. 

Conan smiled a bit at that. It was very faint, and very small, But it was something. “Yeah.” He said quietly.

Kogoro realized a fourth thing that day.

This kid needed to smile way more often.

Chapter Text

Kogoro stares out the window, worried out of his mind.

Ran had been out the whole day, no calls, no texts, no nothing. It was pouring, a major thunderstorm crawled across the sky with lightning flashes and thunder cracks.

Where was she? 

The more rain that poured down, the more worried he got. The more minutes that ticked by, the more he'd wonder.

Where could she be? 

Conan sat on the couch, a book in his hands, but his grip was so tight on it, his knuckles turned white. A tell tale sign he was worried too. 

Kogoro stood up. Enough was enough.

He put on his rain coat, threw Conan's at him, and grabbed the umbrella. "Come on." was all Kogoro said, and they set out to find the wayward Mouri.

--

One whole walk to the park later, there she was. 

Sitting on a bench, no umbrella, no rain coat. She was soaked to the bone, but she didn't look like she cared. 

"Ran-Neechan?" Conan reached out a hand to her, and Ran looked over, realizing they were there.

"Oh! Hi dad, Hi Conan-kun. I-It's dinner time right? Sorry I haven't been home I got caught up in the rain and lost track of time and..." Ran listed on and on, rambling at this point.

Kogoro looked at her sympathetically. First at dinner a few days ago, and now this.

He swore that when Shinichi got back from where ever he could be, he was literally going to be dead. The headlines will read about Famous Detective Mouri goes to jail for manslaughter of teen detective, Shinichi Kudo.

"Ran." Kogoro held out an umbrella to her. "Let's just go home, yeah?" 

Ran grabbed the umbrella, nodding. "Yeah..."

---

Back at the agency, Conan retreated to his room with a sad expression, and Ran was about to leave the office to go dry off, but Kogoro stopped her.

"One second." Kogoro stopped her, and Ran stood by the door awkwardly.

"Do you...need me for something, Dad?" Ran asked, shifting from foot to foot. 

"When do you want me to judo-throw that detective brat?" Kogoro frowned, crossing his arms, and Ran let go of the door handle. 

"...What." Was all that Ran said. 

"Shinichi. He's the reason you were sad." Kogoro stated simply. 

"Well he was, but you don't have to beat him up, Dad." Ran laughed a bit. 

"Are you sure? Are you positive? Because I think I do." Kogoro persisted. Shinichi Kudo was going down.

"I'm sure, Dad. Thanks for the offer though." Ran snorted. "But besides, Wouldn't it be better If I was the one to beat up Shinichi? Or we could double team him." 

"That'd really scare him. I think you'd be enough just to take him down, no help needed from me." Kogoro ruffled Ran's hair affectionately. "But really, Ran, forget that brat. Thinking about lost love for too long can really get to you, and I don't advise it." Kogoro frowned. 

He had a lot of experience with lost love. Especially of the childhood friend variety. 

"Okay, Okay, Dad I get it." Ran rolled her eyes, smiling all the while. "I'm going to go get dry and make dinner." and with that, she left.

Kogoro ran a hand through his hair.

This whole father thing was hard.

Chapter Text

Kogoro sighed, starting up the faucet to change out the washcloth’s water, to make it cold once more. 

"I’m home, Dad!" Ran smiled when she entered the little apartment above the office, poking her head into the kitchen.

"Oh, Ran." Kogoro blinked, looking a bit surprised seeing her there. "I thought you had Karate today?" 

Ran put her bag down on the counter, opening the fridge. “I had someone take over for me.” She explained. “How’s Conan?” 

"Asleep." Kogoro snorted, turning off the faucet and wringing the washcloth with his hands. "The only reason he’s woke up is to eat lunch, and he ended up falling asleep in the middle of eating."

Ran laughed, picturing that. “I can bring that to him.” Ran shut the fridge, not finding anything to eat. “You’ve taken care of him all day, after all.” 

Kogoro handed over the washcloth, shrugging. “Hasn’t really been hard. I used to take care of you.” Kogoro grinned, and Ran almost threw the washcloth.

"I was an angel!" Ran defended, sticking her tongue out and smiling, making to way to the shared room of her Dad and Conan.

Opening the door quietly, she found Conan doing exactly what her Dad said he would be doing.

Sleeping.

He was curled up into a ball, hugging the blankets and drooling onto his pillow.

"Cute." Ran giggled, sitting down and rolling Conan so he was laying down on his back.

Although he slept for such a long time, Conan woke up easily. 
"G’mornin Ran.." Conan yawned, rubbing his eyes and putting on his glasses, still looking asleep. 

He probably didn’t even realize he was talking.

"Good afternoon, Conan." Ran smiled, "Sorry I woke you." 

"S’no problem…" He mumbled, "Where’s Dad…I thought he was takin’ care of me…?" Conan yawned, rolling back on his side, his glasses sliding off his face.

Ran blinked. 

Dad?

Like. Her Dad?

"He’s…busy right now. So I came in instead. Flip over again." Ran pushed Conan back on his back, taking his glasses away and putting them off to the side. She put the washcloth on his forehead, moving his hair out of the way. 

"Oh. ‘Kay thanks…:" Conan gave her a thumbs up (Very uncharacteristic of him. Must be the sickness. Ran thought.)

Getting up and leaving the room, Ran met up with her Dad outside in the living room. He was drinking a beer (He assured her it was his first one.) and watching some cop show on tv. 

"He’s still asleep." Ran said, sitting down on a different side of the table. "He said something before he fell back asleep though."

"Oh? What’d he say?" Kogoro asked in a bored tone. "Is it something about learning stuff in Hawaii or the tv?" 

"He called you Dad." Ran said.

Kogoro visibly stiffened, but relaxed after, a little quick. “That’s…interesting.” Kogoro shrugged, trying to play it cool.

He couldn’t fight the small smile on his face.

"Daaaad, Are you smiling~?" Ran grinned, leaning forward. 

Kogoro coughed, frowning almost immediately. “No.”

"Yeah, you were!" Ran clapped her hands. "You were so smiling!" 

"I was not." Kogoro deadpanned, giving Ran a bored look. "I could care less what that brat thinks of me." 

"Sure, Sure." Ran rolled her eyes. 

There was a silence before Ran continued. “…You know, I’ve always wanted a little brother.”

Kogoro snorted. “That’s stupid. Why would you want another of what you already have?”

Ran just smiled. 

Chapter Text

He knew there would be a time when it came down to the wire like this.

The perks of being a famous detective. Kogoro thought bitterly.

He knew it would eventually happen.

Someone was trying to kill him, and now he was cornered and stuck because the end was starting to seem more and more likely to come.

But he didn’t want it like this.

Gripping his steering wheel, Kogoro glanced back at his daughter and his (kind of) son, a very strong sense of dread and nausea weighing on him like a ton of bricks.

If he didn’t get them out, they were going to go down with him. This bomb strapped to the car would kill them all.

Kogoro didn’t want that. He didn’t want them to die. They still so young, dammit! They couldn’t just…

Kogoro took a breath, glancing down at his speedometer and his gas. The gas was leaking, as they established, but he still had the speed low so it was mostly okay for now.

For now.

He could barely even listen as Conan talked with Inspector Megure on the phone, police cars starting to gather round Kogoro’s rental.

There was something about Takagi coming up and getting the kids out, a plan Kogoro happily agreed to, only focused on saving them.

So, the plan proceeded, Takagi rolled up in a big van, smashed the window, managed to get Conan out (with one big scare of him almost falling out the window, making Kogoro’s heart leap into his throat, feeling his body go completly cold with terror for a second, until Ran saved the stupid kid.) and now it was time to get Ran out.

And then, the worst possible outcome happened.

The Road split, and there wasn’t enough room for his car and Takagi’s rescue van to fit.

If he stopped the car, it exploded.

He had to drive on, Ran still in the car.

So he did.

—-

He felt sick. Ran looked so sad, so lost in the backseat, staring at Kogoro with eyes that screamed “what do we do now?”

They were almost out of gas. The car would stop.

There was only one thing left to do.

Kogoro took a breath and handed Ran his jacket, not looking at her.

"Dad?" Ran started, but Kogoro quickly cut her off.

"Use that to cover your head…Roll when you land." Kogoro began, trying to battle this sick feeling and the sadness he was going through at the moment. "You’ll probably get hurt but…At least you won’t…"

Ran frowned, knowing what he was implying. “No way! I’m not gonna—”

"I’m sorry I was a bad Father." Kogoro said over her, looking back at his daughter. "Just do this. For me."

"Dad…" Ran hugged the jacket she was given, looking like she was mulling this over.

"You need to hurry." Kogoro insisted, glancing at the gas. Not much time now.

He had accepted death a long time ago.

—-

But it seemed death did not want to accept him.

As it turns out, when they drove into the tunnel, Satou had set up something with Megure to keep the wheels moving and the gas filled, long enough to let a bomb team move in and disable the bomb.

Kogoro watched with relief, glad it was over with.

Glad Ran was safe.

"Dad!" Ran called, running up to him and hugging him tightly.

Kogoro hugged her back just as tight, unable to keep the smile off his face. They were alive. She was safe. It was going to be okay.

Conan emerged from behind the truck that stopped the rental car, looking happy as well. He shoved his hands into his pockets and let out a small sigh seeing Ran and Kogoro, and Kogoro frowned when he saw the brat.

"Oi." Kogoro said.

"Y-Yeah?" Conan jumped, not expecting Kogoro to say something to him.

"Get over here, brat." Kogoro waved him over and Ran pulled back from the never ending fatherly bear hug, smiling at Conan.

Conan slightly jogged over to them and was taken off guard when Kogoro picked him up and decided to hug him as well.

"O-O-Okay Uncl—Hey, Ran-Neechan!!" Conan protested as Ran squished him into a hug too, laughing.

They were all together again.

Chapter Text

These are the days where he's at his lowest.

He's good at acting 90% of the time, fooling everyone into thinking he's fine and laughing about shit that he shouldn't laugh about and making a fool of himself in front of everyone.

He's very good at decieving people.

Nobody even knows that he picked up his drinking habit after Eri left, that he started to smoke more and get more stressed without her. Nobody knows that he struggled to even smile sometimes, but he does for the sake of getting people not to worry about him.

He hated that the most. People worrying about him.

It made him feel small and vulnerable, a feeling he despised because that means he could easily get hurt.

...But that's how he feels right now.

Staring outside the window of his office, having one open for the sake of some fresh air, he sipped his beer and watched the pedestrians walk around. He noted that there were a few cute girls, as he usually did.

(That girl with the grey scarf and blonde hair always waved at him with a bright smile, and he always waved back.)

But this wasn't enough to make him feel better. The cool breeze and a cute girl waving wouldn't be enough.

It hasn't been enough for the last 10 years.

He had given up on Eri a long time ago, as much as he didn't want to, but he had to. She obviously didn't want him back.

"Who would?" Kogoro snorted to himself, smiling despite having just degraded himself. He took another sip.

He spun in his chair, staring at the ceiling. Today was one of his lowest days.

All he had on the mind was better ways to insult himself, better ways to put himself down, things he should do to stop bringing his kids down, ways to convince them to get away from him because he's such a horrible--

"Dad!"

Kogoro jumped. "R-R-Ran?!" He shouted, clinging to the armrests of his chair. "Don't just come out of no where like that!"

Ran crossed her arms. "I've said your name over 6 times now."

Kogoro rubbed the back of his neck. "A-Ah, My bad! I was spacing out and..."

"Probably thinking about some beautiful girl." Conan's snide remark came from next to him, and Kogoro turned to see the brat had been standing by his chair the whole time Ran was here.

Kogoro frowned. "Anyway, what did you want?"

Ran smiled all of the sudden.

Kogoro knew this smile all too well.

"Well, if you would direct your eyes to the date..." Ran pushed a calander toward him and pointed at the day.

Ah.
Maybe that's why he was so upset.

He remembered the day, in the back of his mind.

His wedding anniversary.

"I'm not going out with Eri." Kogoro immediately said, frowning at his daughter, who protested with a loud "Ehh?! Why not!"

Kogoro didn't answer her. He didn't wanna see her. Not today.

(As if she'd ever want to see me, anyway. His mind bitterly added)

"...Then, will you call her?" Ran asked, looking timid and sad. Kogoro sighed.

"Yes, Ran, I will call her." Kogoro stood up, walking to the door and grabbing his jacket. "I'm going to go out for a bit. Be back later."

He left without another word.

Ran frowned, looking at his feet. "He's always like this today."

Conan looked up at Ran. "Maybe he just doesn't wanna remember? It's been a long 10 years, hasn't it?"

"I guess you're right..." Ran played with some of her hair. "I just wish he didn't look so sad every time he left like that. You can tell when he's got something on his mind."

"...Let's do something for him."

Ran blinked. "What?"

"Let's do something for him! Buy him something, I dunno!" Conan shrugged, a slight tint of pink on his cheeks, embarrassed that he suggested that.

"You know what, You're right!" Ran nodded, taking a determined stance. "Let's do something for him!"

And so, they did.

===

Kogoro was buzzed.

It was stupid, he hated it, he hated himself, he hated Eri, he hated the world, he hated today...

But, He mostly hated himself.

Ha hated his forced incompetence, he hated his failures, and he would never get over them.

Eri didn't pick up, after 6 times of calling her and leaving messages.

Maybe she really DID hate him.

Trudging up the steps, unlocking the door to the apartment, he walked to the living room.

His thoughts were deafening in the quiet darkness of the room.

He was about to give up and go to sleep, intent on sleeping away his sorrows and ignoring them completely (like he usually did), but something caught his eye.

On the table was a piece of cake accompanied by a fork, a book about horse racing, and a small note.

We saw this earlier and thought you might like it! Also, there's more cake in the kitchen. We bought a big one so go crazy.
(But not too crazy)
--Ran and Conan

The note finished with a small doodle of their faces, and a heart. (Ran's doing, probably.)

"Maybe I'll stay up a little bit longer..." Kogoro said slowly, sitting down and unwrapping his cake from the cellophane, and took a bite.

Kogoro smiled.

He had the best kids in the world.