Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Colonel Caldwell." Hermiod's voice rang over comms.

"Yes, what is it?" Caldwell responded, just as he was boarding the ship from Atlantis's dark moonlit pier after a meeting, or more accurately, a scolding from Dr. Weir.

"There's been some connection issues with the sensor arrays. Doctor McKay is tampering with them and has refused to stop his work despite my advice."

"I'll talk to him." He responded, having a pretty good idea why McKay was being so handsy with his ship lately, and knowing anyone else that tries to stop McKay would probably just be chewed out anyway. After receiving the location from Hermoid, he arrived to find him under a console. "Back at it again, Doctor McKay?"

"I thought of a way to improve the sensor range of the Daedalus." He simply responded, still under the console.

"Without asking me first?"

"Well, it's an improvement. Thought you wouldn't mind." Rodney looked away from his work to Caldwell, as he squatted down beside him. "Unless you don't trust my abilities, Colonel?"

"No, I didn't say that." Yup, it was as he figured.

Rodney looked back at the tangle of wires. "Good."

"You should still ask me first."

The scientist didn't reply as he worked. They both knew McKay was going to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted to.

"Isn't it a bit late?" Caldwell pointed out. "Couldn't you do this tomorrow?"

"Couldn't sleep," Rodney admitted. "No point in just laying around looking at the ceiling."

"Doesn't your infirmary have something that can help you?"

Rodney avoided the question. "I'm not tired. It won't affect my work and if you don't believe me, you can have Hermoid check it over when I'm done."

"I already told you I don't have a problem with your skills. I believe you, Doctor."

"Good." He repeated, eyes glued to his work. Though Caldwell could tell McKay was masking what he really wanted to say.

"You did all you could." He stated, branching out the real topic on his mind if the scientist would admit it.

"No. I'm not finished. There's more I can do. There's plenty of other upgrades I can make to your ship. So many in fact, maybe I should stay on board for the next couple of months." Dr. McKay stated, adverting the real meaning.

Caldwell looked over the scientist, noting his hands were shaking as he worked. "As much as I appreciate your work, Dr. McKay, you're smart enough to know what I really mean... You shouldn't beat yourself up over it. What happened, happened. The point is you tried." Caldwell attempted.

Rodney winced at the Colonel's insistence of this conversation that he had been trying to avoid, but of course, he couldn't. It was all everyone talked about anymore. "And trying wasn't good enough." He mumbled harshly to himself. "And I failed. Big time."

"What happened on Arcturus was inevitable. The ancients who built the broken thing couldn't even do it, so you really shouldn't feel bad at all. The creators messed up. Not you."

He shook his head. "I was arrogant enough to think I could do it. It's all my fault."

"And I encouraged you to do it, so some of that blame falls on me also. The point is you can't let this ruin you, McKay. You're still brilliant, there's no point in constantly second-guessing your work all the time. Just listen to people's opinions when they do give them to you. You don't need to hide on my ship for that."

He sighed. "I still believe in my abilities."

"Then what's the issue?"

"No one else on Atlantis does. No one trusts my abilities or my judgment anymore. They all think I need to regain their trust and prove them wrong, but no matter what I do it's not good enough... You're the only one that still seems to actually believe in me."

Caldwell looked down at him sympathetic. "I'm sure that's not true.. I'm sure Colonel Shep-"

"No." He shook. "He's the only one, besides Elizabeth, that actually point-blank admitted it to my face, that I need to work on getting back to his good graces, but still nothing appeases him."

"Sheppard isn't one to talk. He woke the wraith after all." Caldwell pointed out as he continued to evaluate the scientist's shaking. "Doctor, when's the last time you ate?"

Rodney looked at him confused at the change of topic but was thankful for it. "I don't know, I haven't felt hungry lately with everything going on, why?"

"You're looking pale and keep shaking. We should get some food in you before you collapse." He put a hand on his arm to help him stand but McKay refused the assistance.

"I'm fine."

"You sure?" He asked skeptically.

"Why? Are you questioning my judgment too?" Rodney's eyes narrowed.

There was no winning with Doctor McKay one way or another. Especially when he was hungry and cranky. Caldwell stood. "Well, if you pass out at least you'll get some sort of sleep, but it would be a shame for that brain of yours to have a seizure, wouldn't it?"

Rodney gave that some thought. "Well... I guess I could be a little peckish." His stomach growled emphasizing that point, to his embarrassment.

Caldwell gave him a hand up and ended up having to take the brunt of McKay's weight as the man almost lost his balance from being on the floor so long and getting up too fast.

As they walked to the food court together, Caldwell spoke up. "Has it really been that bad for you on Atlantis?"

McKay looked ahead of them conflicted, then admitted. "People talk about me behind my back mostly, when they think I can't hear them, others stare, and a lot of my subordinates are no longer taking my constructive criticisms to heart. They don't see me as their head scientist anymore. Now they mostly defer to Zelenka. It's getting hard for me to get work done now that they don't respect my abilities and judgments. Things are taking twice as long as before because they keep double-checking every decision I make with Radek. Some have even disrespected me and told me off in front of the other scientists."

They got to the food court and grabbed some trays of food that were left out for the night shift. They took a table. McKay took in the comforting emptiness of the ship, then got to work on his food. He hadn't realized how hungry he was in a long time.

"So, you hide on my ship, each chance you get just to avoid the expedition?" Caldwell noted as he evaluated what he had to eat tonight.

McKay looked at him awkwardly. "Your crew are the only ones that submit to whatever I have to say. If I tell them to go away while I work they do so. Well everyone except Hermoid."

Caldwell slightly smirked. "It's not exactly a good thing that you keep scaring my crew, McKay."

He shrugged as he took a big bite of his food. "It's the only way I can finally work in peace without judgmental stares."

"I think Hermoid judges all of us."

McKay looked up from his tray wondering if that was Caldwell's attempt at humor or just an honest observation. "One pair of eyes I can deal with, not a few hundred."

"If it really bothers you so much-" Caldwell looked to him thoughtfully. "You can stay temporarily."

"Wait?" McKay lowered his sandwich stunned. "Really?"

"This isn't permanent. You can't avoid your problems forever."

Rodney looked away from Caldwell's gaze, feeling like he was being judged, what surprised him was what he said next.

"I appreciate the work you put into my ship when I have you because I don't have you that often. The same might go both ways. Maybe if you're gone from Atlantis for a while, they'll realize what they're missing and appreciate you more." He reasoned.

McKay stared at him shocked. "That-.. That's actually pretty smart, Colonel."

"I try to be." He went back to his food. "So what do you think?"

McKay looked distant as he took a sip of cold coffee, then looked to him determined. "It's worth a shot."

He nodded. "I'll talk to Doctor Weir about your reassignment tomorrow." He looked back up at him. "On one condition though."

"Name it."

"Don't scare my crew into quitting their jobs."

McKay smirked into his coffee cup. "I can't help it if I upset someone, Colonel. If you haven't heard, I'm bad with people."

"Can't you at least try to not be so harsh on them?"

"No promises I can't keep, Colonel."

Chapter Text

The next morning, Caldwell's eyes scanned Dr. Weir's office. It looked so.. 'Civilian', with all those anthropological statues and figurines. You'd hardly think it was an office for a commander of a military unit in a foreign and hostile environment.

He shook his head trying not to get into a personal judgmental mood before seeing Elizabeth. They didn't need a fight about military versus civilian leadership right now. Though he always did have his reservations about how she ran this operation, and now this whole situation of Dr. Weir and her chosen second in Command Sheppard, inadvertently running out her Chief scientist, only made him feel validated in his concerns about this place.

Elizabeth arrived in a confident stride, eyes glued to a tablet, reading reports. Sheppard was trailing behind her, much to Caldwell's annoyance. Of course, Weir wouldn't be alone. She's always followed by her love-struck puppy.

"Colonel." Sheppard eyed him. He lowered his head and responded in turn. "Colonel."

Dr. Weir looked up from her reports and looked to Caldwell, her eyes had a suspicious gaze to them as she eyed him. "Is there something I can help you with, Colonel?" She made her way around to her chair and set her tablet down, folding her hands neatly. Eyes looking up at him, with a diplomatic smile. "Is this about last night? My decision still stands. No."

Caldwell was reminded of their unpleasant argument last night before he had seen McKay. "This isn't about that... This is about a transfer."

"I told you, Colonel Sheppard is my 2IC."

"This isn't for me, Dr. Weir. It's for one of your scientists. You should check your email."

Sheppard took a seat in front of Elizabeth's desk and crossed his arms nonchalantly. "Did McKay make one of his minions cry again?" He jeered darkly, to which Caldwell blandly stared back.

Dr. Weir sighed as she began flipping through her emails. "I'll have to have another talk with him."

"Not this time," Caldwell stated bluntly as he watched Dr. Weir carefully. She stopped when she found the reassignment request. Her lips slightly parted in shock, and her eyes looked surprised.

"Elizabeth?" Sheppard leaned closer to her, instinctually knowing something was wrong with her body language.

She looked up at Caldwell. "McKay?" She questioned stunned. John looked over the email curious.

"You really thought he would just put up with the way you guys have been treating him lately?" He raised an eyebrow.

Sheppard eyed him. "He needed tough love. I would think you of all people would understand."

"He's not some disobedient cadet, Sheppard. He's a civilian, who was doing what he was brought into this galaxy to do."

"And now he just wants to pack up and run. Why? Because his ego was bruised?" Sheppard mocked and looked to the silent Elizabeth. "See what I mean? I knew McKay couldn't be trusted in the long term. A guy like him who only thinks about himself can't be a true team player."

Steven looked hard at the young cocky Colonel. "He's one of the brightest minds in two galaxies. Any research program would be dying to have him, and you just treat him like garbage."

"Well apparently, McKay isn't as smart as he's always saying he is, given what happened. As for other groups wanting him, have at him. I'm sure they'll be just as miserable."

"How many mistakes have you made, Sheppard?"

His eyes narrowed in a glare. "This isn't about me."

"He made ONE mistake, Sheppard. One. How many times has he saved your ass? Saved this whole expedition's collective asses? But no. It's not good enough."

Elizabeth's reserved behavior changed as she stared past Caldwell. "Rodney." Caldwell looked back behind him to see Dr. McKay standing in the doorway, eyes glued to the floor in shame. Having heard what Sheppard thought of him.

"Elizabeth." Rodney's tone was quiet and somber.

"Please, tell me you came to reconsider." Elizabeth looked on edge. Regret seeping in her voice.

"Actually... I just came to say goodbye.." His eyes flickered up, looking directly at Weir, while his peripherals caught Sheppard's disapproving gaze. Rodney cleared his throat, continuing. "And to suggest you make Radek in charge. Everyone looks up to him already and.." Reluctantly admitted, "He's a great scientist."

She stood and made her way around her desk, and stood in front of him. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes... Temporarily at least."

"I... I never meant to push you away."

"I know... It's... It was a lot of things. Not just you. I deserved your scolding."

She gazed at him sadly, then hugged him, to which he reciprocated. Sheppard rolled his eyes. "You're always welcome back. Whenever you feel like you're up for it." She stated.

"I know that's not true, but.. Thanks."

She let him go, watching him in earnest. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Remind Radek not to blow up my city while I'm gone." He lightly teased, and Dr. Weir sadly smiled. He then side glanced Sheppard. "Sheppard."

"McKay."

Rodney felt his heart sink. This was just like the trust talk all over again... But this time... He really did fail Sheppard's approval on his own. No impossible technologies or science involved. Just Rodney and his choice.

Sheppard looked away from Rodney to Caldwell. "Well, his attitude is your problem now."

"Check yours first, Colonel." Caldwell scolded, as he turned away to escort Rodney out. Once they were out of earshot, he questioned. "Do you have your things in order?"

Rodney looked up at Steven ruefully. "Almost... I want to say bye to a couple of people first."

Caldwell nodded. "The Daedalus isn't set to depart until noon. Just make sure you're on the ship before we leave." McKay nodded and Caldwell watched him go. His shoulders slumped and looking defeated. He figured McKay must be taking Sheppard's denunciation of him hard. Maybe after a while, he'll feel better.

--

Teyla's door chimed as she was doing her morning exercises. "Enter." Her door opened to find McKay with a basket of fruits. "Rodney?"

A stunned Rodney briefly stared at her doing the splits, and then shook his head. "Uh, hi Teyla. Can I-" He awkwardly glanced into her room and tilted his head. "Come in?"

"Of course," She responded simply and he stepped inside and set the fruit basket down on her bed next to her. She looked down at the fruit. "What are these for?" She briefly wondered if this was some Earth holiday Sheppard hadn't told her about.

"Oh, it's various fruits I've been collecting from all the trade missions we've been going on... I... I'm leaving.." He began to pace as he rambled nervously. "For a while. I mean, I'll come back... Probably... If Sheppard doesn't turn Elizabeth against me... Anyway, the Daedalus has a weight limit and I can't take everything so I thought you might like this.. fruit stuff for your tea or whatever. I-"

"McKay." Teyla's voice cut in mid-ramble. Her tone was cool and calm and Rodney stopped and looked up at her. "Slow down and take a deep breath.."

"Deep breath, yes, yes. That's good. right." He stopped and took a deep breath. Teyla got up and grabbed his hands, guiding him to sit down on her bed next to her. "You are leaving?"

"Yes."

She placed her forehead against his and Rodney felt the nervous guilty tension that he's had since his decision last night, leave his body. He lowered his shoulders and sighed deeply.

"Why?" She questioned as she leaned back and turned to her bedside table grabbing her morning brewed tea and pouring them both a cup.

"I... Things haven't been going good..." He glanced down at the liquid he was handed.

"That appears to be the nature of this Galaxy... Bad things seem to happen a lot to everyone."

Rodney suddenly felt guilty. He knew Teyla would never judge. She wasn't that type of person. Always kind to all... However, she was just a reminder of all these people in this galaxy terrorized by the Wraith... His problems didn't matter at all to anyone, did they?.. But-.. They mattered to him... "People... Hate me. I mean they always disliked me since the beginning... But now it's just so much worse. I know it sounds selfish and disrespectful. Especially with the Wraith threat but... But I... I can't do it anymore."

The way she was looking at him made him feel like he was being pitied... Did he want that?.. He supposed it was better than disapproval and distrust like Sheppard.. With that image in mind, he grimaced and avoided her eyes by looking into the teacup. He wasn't one for tea usually, but the scent was calming and he hadn't had any coffee this morning. So he figured, might as well take the caffeine how he could get it, and took a hesitant sip. As he tilted his head back he saw Teyla was eyeing him, so he awkwardly downed it. He felt the warmth pool inside him.

"You will always be welcome back, Rodney." Teyla's voice was light and full of promise. It only made him feel worse as he clung to his empty cup.

"That's what you say now until you realize how nice it is with me gone." He accidentally blurted out his darkest fear.

"Is that what you think?" Teyla questioned concerned.

He sadly looked away from her. "It's true, isn't it?.. That's how it was with my real family... They always blamed me for everything, hated me, then they were happy when I was gone. Never bothering to write or call. They expected me to grovel my way back to them, and I was too prideful to. Now it'll be the same all over again, but with my segregate family here on Atlantis instead, and it'll hurt twice as much."

Chapter Text

Rodney left Teyla's quarters in a sullen mood. He walked the cold corridors, avoiding the familiar gaze of random co-workers going about their day. Most would be heading either in or out of the mess hall around now as the breakfast shift came to a close. He didn't like it when the hallways where crowded. It felt claustrophobic and he hated the pointed glances they gave him. It always made him feel judged, whether it was intended or not. Lately, he had become to acutely aware of his surroundings, and those passing strangers. It didn't used to be like that. His routes were automatic muscle memory at this point. His mind could be completely lost in thought about projects, recent missions or his inner demons and the lack of outside concentration wouldn't matter in the slightest. He got to any required destination without a passing thought of acknowledging anyone. He missed those days. Now all he could do was think about those around him, and it was terrible. Why did it have to be like that?

A passing marine, that McKay recognized as Sergeant Bates, had been eyeing him since he left Teyla's room. As the two passed each other, he stuck his foot out. Rodney suddenly found himself hitting the ground, roughly landing on his hands. McKay winced as he gripped his tender left wrist. He quickly looked back and glared at him. "What the Hell, Bates!?"

Bates eyed him with a sneer. "Leaving that dirty Athosian's room, huh McKay? Should have know you're not only a solar system killer, but a betrayer to your own species."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Alien fucker." Bates spat in disgust on Rodney underneath him.

McKay cringed as he felt the spit hit him, and wiped it off in horrid disgust.

"The Colonel announced this morning in the mess hall that you're leaving." Bates nose wrinkled as he stared him down, and the speciest Sergeant gave him a parting kick to the rib, earning a hiss of pain from McKay. "Good riddens, and take the alien scum with you."

Rodney held his wrist gently as he slowly stood up after Bates departed. Co-workers that had watched the affair seemed disinterested now that the 'show' was over, and returned to their usual pace.

He frowned, at the others lack of care. 'Yeah.. Whatever.. Not like they could do anything now anyway.' McKay thought to himself. 'Or more like, they just didn't care too.'

Rodney found his way to the lab. He saw Radek already talking to the underlings. Hard at work, with the scent of fresh coffee, and hustle and bustle of trying to meet department deadlines, to show Elizabeth their process in review.

A few European scientists caught sight of him from near the doorway. They spoke openly to each other in French thinking he wouldn't understand, like they always did when they where mocking or criticizing him (much like Zelenka and his Czech rants). They never seemed to grasp he knew Canadian French from Quebec.

What they gossiped was something along the lines of:

"Did you hear?"

"Yeah, didn't everyone?"

"Do you think he was fired?"

"Well, it wouldn't surprise me with his attitude lately."

"Oh geeze, if he could be fired whose next?"

"Didn't you hear that they already got rid of Kavanagh?"

"Oh, so that's why the labs haven't been so gloomy."

"Yeah, now their both going to be stuck on the Daedalus together."

"Well, misery loves company, I suppose."

"It's going to be great having Radek as a boss!"

"Yeah, we won't have to put up with that cranky primadonna badger anymore."

Rodney sighed, looking down and left the lab.

Radek was busy and well.. He didn't want to draw anymore unwanted negative attention to himself.

He made his way to his room. Slinging his backpack over his right shoulder. His eyes loomed over the bare walls that once held pictures and diplomas scattered about. The emptiness felt so alien and unlived in without his human belongings to give it at least the bare minimum of a homely feel.

Atlantis would always feel like his true home. Even if it no longer had a piece of him to share.

The whole system and layout was memorized. There was no critical system or piece of tech untouched by him at this point. The city was as much an old lover as one so intimately known could be.

He closed his eyes feeling Atlantis's gentle hum against his mind through his ATA gene. He would come back to HIS city. His love.. At least he hoped so. He delicately touched a wall with his right hand and gave it an affectionate pat, then turned away from the emptiness and left.

He found his feet bringing him to the pier. His last goodbye.

He stared out across the sea. His mind began playing tricks on him, as he could have swore he saw Carson's ghost, tsk'ing and admonishing him about not going to the infirmary to get his wrist checked out.

Rodney softly chuckled. "You know me. I can't stand that softer science medical voodoo." Rodney's face fell into grief. "Especially by anyone other than you."

He closed his eyes and sighed. "You were my best friend, Carson.. I wish you were here with me now.. Things would have been so much easier with you here, beside me..."

Rodney's brow creased harshly in anguish. Another thing that was his fault. Another reason people hated him. Let alone an additional reason why he hated himself.

"If I had just gone on that fishing trip with you, you'd still be...."

Rodney slumped down defeated. "Alive.."

After a few minutes of mourning and regretful thoughts, he carefully sat down on the pier, watching the clouds, two moons and distant sun. It was nearly noon and soon this would be gone. He regretted not looking at the sky more often. Always held up and cocooned in the lab. Never really bothering to make time to do so. How much he condemned himself now for the time and beautiful views of the ever changing skies, wasted and never observed. 'What a poor excuse for an astrophysicist'.

Chapter Text

Rodney was beamed aboard, and Caldwell gave a formal welcome. "Welcome aboard doctor." Caldwell took note of a distant look in his eyes. He seemed lost in thought. "I trust you'll handle my ship with care?" Caldwell added, hoping to jog him out of his thoughts.

McKay knew what was said, but his mind was still dwelling on Carson. He half heartedly replied, "Oui, bien sûr."

"What?"

Rodney shook is head trying to snap out of his depressive spell. Work was always a good distraction. "Yes, of course. I'll get right on it. Your ship will be better than ever, Colonel."

"Good. That's what I like to hear. Now follow me." Caldwell took note of him holding his wrist delicately but said nothing, and led him where the crew quarters where located, and stopped at the room with the last open beds.

Dr. Lindsey Novak looked up from her bed where she was writing the last of her reports. She quickly stood to attention when she noticed her visitors, with a startled hiccup. "Colonel."

"At ease, Dr. Novak. You're getting a roommate." He turned to McKay. "This is where you'll be staying."

"Oh, Colonel. We're taking Dr. McKay to Earth again?" Dr. Novak asked, slightly curious.

"No. Dr. McKay will be joining our crew for the foreseeable future." Novak's eyes widened, and a hiccup of fear escaped her throat. "So I need you to update the duty roster and inform Dr. McKay of proper procedures." Not that Caldwell believed McKay would ever actually do anything by the book, but he had to at least look like he made an attempt so the finicky IOA sticklers wouldn't get mad.

"Yes, Sir." Novak squeaked intimidated as she stared at the Doctor.

Caldwell turned to McKay. "Try not to scare her too much."

"I haven't even done anything yet, and she looks like she's going to faint. If she freaks it's not my fault." McKay whined as he stared unmoved, with a slant frown.

Caldwell raised an eyebrow. "Just try to tone down the McKayisms?"

"McKayisms?" Rodney gave him a questioning look.

Steven sighed. "You know what I mean."

Rodney gave him a look that bore no promises and Caldwell left him to his own devices. McKay watched him leave then looked back at the frightened engineer. "I won't eat you."

"R-right, because you're not a wraith." Novak gave a forced nervous laugh. "Though.." Her tone got quieter. "Is it true Colonel Sheppard almost turned into a wraith?"

"An Iratus bug.. But yes, technically a wraith."

Novak winced and shivered, getting a horrible image in her mind of what that must have looked like.

"Well, not like it isn't fun sharing stories at Sheppard's expense, but my bags heavy. Which bunk is mine?" Rodney asked as he stretched his back.

"Oh! Right!" Novak looked back down to where she was reading. "This one is mine. The other three are all open."

McKay gazed over the bland bunks with disinterest. He'd been used to them before, on his few travel's back and forth from Earth from time to time. However, he supposed maybe he should actually care this time.. After all, this time his bunk may be a permanent one.

"Actually, I'm surprised you got situated with me."

"Because you're a girl?" Rodney asked as he stood at the bunk bed. "This isn't going to be weird is it?"

"Oh!" Novak smiled and waved her hand. "No, not that at all, Doctor McKay. It's just, I never get any bunk mates because.. Well.. No one can handle my hiccups for long."

"Great.." Rodney replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, they always ask to be reassigned so Caldwell just never bothered signing me up with anyone else anymore. I guess maybe the other rooms are full now?"

Rodney sighed and slung the bag from his shoulder off and onto the bed, wincing and hissing as he jerked his hand back as it stung with nerve-racking pain. He had momentarily forgot his wrist was so sensitive.

Novak looked up immediately at McKay, concern resonating off of her. Worried at what had caused such a sudden reaction. Her eyes looked down to him holding his wrist and then up to his face, where he was biting his lip in pained concentration.

"Your wrist?" She hiccupped alarmed.

"It's fine.."

"No it isn't! You're in pain! We should get the doctor."

"No doctors."

"It could be broken!"

"It's.. It's not that bad." Though the fact that McKay couldn't stop bracing his pain pulsing wrist, wasn't exactly convincing Novak, let alone himself.

"Why are you so against it? You don't have to be afraid of the doc."

"I'm not afraid." McKay stated sternly, taking offence.

"Then why?"

"Because.. They'll ask how it happened when they fill out the medical report.."

Novak frowned sympathetic. "Was it embarrassing? If it helps, I trip and fall all the time myself."

"No.."

"Then what?"

"....."

When McKay didn't answer, Novak frowned. "I'm sorry... But I still think you should get it looked at. Whatever it is, it's not worth trying to work with a broken wrist."

"Oh, so you're telling me what to do already, Dr. Novak?" McKay tried to intimidate but failed miserably. It was usually a lot easier for him when he wasn't in such mind numbing pain.

Novak gave him a smile. "Well.. At least you can tell Colonel Caldwell that you're getting less intimidating already!" She tried for positivity as she tapped the comms.

McKay mumbled a few français canadien curses under his breath.

----

Caldwell loomed over McKay, who was on a medical cot, getting examined by the doc. Caldwell crossed his arms exasperated. "Only on my ship a good five minutes and already in the infirmary. This is looking like quite the exciting employment for you, isn't it Doctor?" McKay gave him an unamused look. "What happened."

"What I told the Doctor. I.. I hurt my hand putting my stuff on the bed."

"Doctor, you're a bad liar."

Rodney waved his free uninjured hand to Lindsey. "Ask Novak! She was there!"

"He also has a couple bruised ribs." The doctor chimed in.

Rodney ground his teeth and side glared the doc. "Traitor." He mumbled.

Caldwell raised a hand to stop whatever lie he was going to tell next. "McKay, I know you didn't just hurt your wrist. I saw you being careful with it when you first beamed aboard. Now tell me what happened. The truth. That's an order."

Rodney looked conflicted.

"Was it something to do with Colonel Sheppard?" Caldwell tried.

"No."

"Then who?" Rodney looked away and Caldwell's gaze hardened. "McKay, I can't justify you being on my ship if I can't even trust you." McKay looked up startled. That got to him, though Caldwell hated to pull that card.

"You'd.. You'd kick me off the ship.. Just for this? Something I didn't even do?"

The defeated tone of voice and hurt look in his eyes sent a pain in Caldwell's stomach. He wasn't going to directly answer such a sensitive topic for McKay at the moment. Instead he responded, "I have to be able to protect my crew Rodney. And that includes you. I can't protect you if you wont let me."

After a moments hesitation, Rodney finally gave in and sighed. "Sergeant Bates."

Caldwell uncrossed his arms and looked on with interest. "What happened?"

"He thought I was..." Rodney's eyes slid away embarrassed. "Sleeping with Teyla.."

Caldwell eyed him. This.. Was not what he was expecting.. "So he was jealous and took it out on you?"

"No." Rodney shook his head. "He hates the Athosians, especially Teyla. He considers people who are friends with the 'Alien sympathizers' and bullies them as such."

Novak's eyes widened. "A speciest? And he hurt you!?" Rodney nodded. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because it would have just made people, especially the military on Atlantis, hate me that much more if I narked, and got one of their own in trouble."

"So, Dr. Weir is unaware of his behavior? Or how the military is protecting their own?" Caldwell clenched his jaw. The situation under her leadership was more out of control than he thought. It seemed every minute he spent with Doctor McKay, just revealed more and more darkness hidden inside the beautiful towers of Atlantis.

"Oh, everyone knows how Bate's feels about aliens. He isn't afraid to hide it.. He's been that way from the very beginning of the expedition.. I just don't think Elizabeth knows how physical he is with the people he bullies."

"I'll write him up. Command needs to know about this."

"But-" McKay rose to protest, which elicited an annoyed response from the medical doctor.

"No Doctor. I'll leave your name out of it if I can, but I wont stand by and let someone like Bates disgrace this uniform."

Rodney sat back against the pillow resigned. "It wont matter if you do or not... They'll know it was me."

"This is beyond you, Doctor. The safety of the Athosians and any alien stationed on Atlantis is at risk and a top priority." Caldwell looked once more back at McKay. "Is there anything more I should know?"

Rodney nodded, feeling a bit guilty at how selfish he was being now that Caldwell brought up good points. Though he had been honestly worried about Teyla's safety for awhile now.. He thought for a moment and added, "There's been altercations between Teyla and Bates before. None of them good. He was convinced she was a wraith worshiper that was bringing the enemy right to Atlantis's doorstep."

"And?"

"And she was innocent, of course. Actually it had been Sheppard who had accidently activated a Wraith relay device in the guise of a necklace and had given it to Teyla."

Caldwell knew he shouldn't be surprised. Sheppard.. Of course it had been Sheppard. Everything bad always seems to lead back to him, one way or another. "Can you give me the details of what exactly Bates did to you and Teyla? As well as this thing with Sheppard?"

Rodney nodded and Caldwell took a seat, ready to take notes.

After they where done he turned away, leaving McKay in the care of the Doc and Novak. He headed straight to his office to make his report now, while the details where still in mind. The report needed to be ready by the time they reached the midway point between the two galaxies. After all, he was sure the IOA and Command would need to have a few words with Doctor Weir and Colonel Sheppard.

Chapter Text

While getting his wrist braced and ribs evaluated, Novak brought McKay up to speed with ship procedures, and afterwards expressed quite the intrest in trading Daedulus and Atlantis gossip if he was willing after eating. McKay wasn't sure if he was interested in gossip, but the thought of maybe getting some tid bits about how Carter was in the Milky Way made him accept her dinner request.

Rodney eyed the small cafeteria. It almost gave him a slight bit of claustrophobia, as this time it was packed with the ships crew, unlike just last night with his one on one with the Colonel.

Novak led the way to the food line, and the two got their trays situated. "Oh!" She spotted a free space and gave a smile. "Peter!" She waved.

Kavanagh looked up from his tablet, noticed McKay, and his expression visibly darkened.

Everyone had given the notorious scientist a wide berth, as a consequence, he was sitting at the only table with seats open.

'Well.. This day can't get any better..' McKay thought bitterly as he reluctantly followed Dr. Novak.

"What are you working on?" Novak asked cheerily as she sat down next to the reserved man.

"Nothing that concerns you." He replied bluntly.

"Oh.. Right.. Sorry." Novak gave a sad smile regardless of the rejection.

Rodney sat down and looked at his food, hoping he could enjoy his dinner in peace without trading insults, but of course Kavanagh opened his big mouth.

"So?.. Dr. Weir finally kicked you out as well?" Dr. Kavanagh stated with a smug tone that easily read as, 'I knew you weren't better than me'.

"No. It was my choice actually." Rodney refused to look up at him, as he brought his fork to his mouth, and tried to focus more on chewing than the man sitting directly across from him.

"Ah, see!" Kavanagh raised a finger to emphasize his point proudly. "I knew Dr. Weir was doing something wrong to make all her science staff leave! Whether by choice or not!"

'Debatable.. But in Kavanagh's case, he was just a prick.' Rodney thought to himself as he chewed deliberately slow, trying not to speak out and break Caldwell's golden rule of 'not being scary'. Caldwell, (at least in Rodney's eyes), seemed mad at him already for not coming out clean about Bates from the beginning. He didn't want to test his luck on the same first day.

Rodney's lack of verbal dismissal seemed to make Kavanagh assume he was indeed getting through to people with his way of thinking, and he smiled proudly for himself.

"Well.." Novak looked between the two men and added quietly. "I don't think she's that bad." Kavanaugh gave her a look and she hiccupped self consciously.

McKay looked to Novak. "She isn't bad.. She just.. Trusts her people so much so that it becomes a problem.. To the point where she'll go along with however they are."

"Yeah." Kavanagh snorted as he lifted his drink to his lips, peering pointedly at McKay behind his spectacles. "Like how she's freely fine with you berating your scientists like children until they cry."

"They don't cry." McKay looked to the side with a pause of thought. "Much..." Rodney shook his head and looked back at Peter. "Besides if I scare them, then how are they supposed to work in the field with Wraith and all matter of enemies? If they can't handle the stress of my leadership in the lab, then how are they going to function during the pressure of a crisis? I'm doing them a favor. Separating the ones that are ready and the ones that aren't." McKay defended.

Kavanagh raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I have no doubt people in the Pegasus need to be strong, but that doesn't mean they need a dictator."

Rodney sat back in his chair. "I'm not a dictator."

Novak watched the two intently. She had expected gossip but this was even better. She caught sight of the Colonel in her peripherals, head down walking into the mess with a tablet. "Colonel! This table is free." She invited. Caldwell looked up, and Novak realized a bit late he had been really deep in thought. She hiccupped horrified to have disturbed his deep concentration. Caldwell didn't visibly seem to mind though and set out getting his tray.

With Novak's invitation, Caldwell looked up from his report and noticed his two, more notoriously known bad tempered scientists where deep in conversation. He figured he needed to evaluate their interaction and hoped things wouldn't get ugly. With that he grabbed his food and sat down on the other side of Kavanaugh.

"I wasn't talking about you." Peter replied as if it was obvious and McKay was being stupid. "I'm talking about Dr. Weir!"

Caldwell's attention focused more of the two with Elizabeth's name brought to the forefront.

"What are you talking about?" Rodney stated in an incredulous tone. "Elizabeth isn't a dictator!"

"She wanted me tortured for information, McKay!" Peter hissed. "When I did nothing wrong! All I did was try to send a report to the IOA on her performance!"

Caldwell winced, realizing this was during his time as a Goa'uld host. Those where dark times he tried not to think about... All those bad things he could have done..

"That was more Sheppard, actually." Rodney looked away. "He kind of.. Convinced her it was the best course of action.. If it wasn't for him there's no way she would have made the decision on her own."

"Yeah, the decision to set her big Wookie Ronon on me. Thanks."

"Atlantis was under threat.." Rodney tried to justify, but anyone could tell he was only giving a half hearted defense, even in McKay's eyes.

"Atlantis is ALWAYS under threat! That doesn't mean we turn into barbarians!"

"Did you get hurt?" Novak asked genuinely concerned.

"No.. But only because I fainted before that cave man could touch me. If I hadn't, who knows what that brute would have done! He could have killed me!"

As much as McKay wasn't a Kavanagh fan, he had to admit Sheppard's eagerness to allow torture on someone based on circumstantial evidence at best was a bit.. Disturbing..

"I'm.. sorry, Doctor." Caldwell apologized guiltily. If his Goa'uld hadn't tried to destroy Atlantis, the whole torture situation wouldn't have occurred. A civilian was persecuted for his own inability to control his body, and he was deeply ashamed of that fact.

"I don't blame you, Colonel. I blame Dr. Weir and her lapdogs."

Rodney looked down. "I.. tried to talk them out of it." He mumbled.

"Yeah, I know, but now you're trying to defend them! Why?" Peter demanded. "Is it because of the time you where in the jumper that got stuck in the gate? I wasn't going to let you die like Weir proclaimed! I was only doing my job, and she threatened to exile me to a barren world just because she didn't think I was working hard enough, and had a different view point than my peers!"

Caldwell looked up from his dinner startled at this. She threatened her own personnel in such a way? Seriously? He never imagined a diplomat such as Dr. Weir could be that cold.

"A jumper got stuck in a gate?" Novak repeated confused, but her curiosity in wanting details was promptly ignored.

"No." 'I've made that mistake before.' He thought to himself, remembering his first Command mission with Teal'c getting stuck in the gate. SG-1 got so pissed with him they sent him to Russia.. In that way, he could clearly see Kavanagh's frustration and point of view during that crisis. He himself had been there and done that, so he couldn't blame Peter for that. "I can't blame you for that Peter. I don't hold a grudge."

"Then why? Why do you and the rest of Weir's senior staff hate me so much?!"

"Because you where being a jerk to Elizabeth with that report.. She was only trying her best.."

"See! I knew it!" Kavanagh's eyes narrowed. "Anyone who criticizes her gets hounded by her groupies. I had legitimate concerns about what she was doing. The IOA needed to know, but I was the villain in everyone's eyes! I got demoted for doing what was right! Because no one can question the precious saintly Dr. Weir's decisions!"

Chapter Text

A few days later, McKay tried to get a head start on evaluating the current state of the ship's systems before breakfast. About half an hour into his overview, Hermiod's voice broke his concentration.

"Dr. McKay."

"Yes, what?" Rodney didn't bother looking up from his reading.

"Colonel Caldwell wants you in his office." The black-eyed alien stared at him and even though his voice never changed, McKay swore it took an accusatory tone. "What did you do?"

"What?" He looked up. "Nothing. I didn't do anything!"

"Indeed.." The alien looked away. Only a few days in and McKay was sure Hermiod was judging his presence on board already.

McKay made his way down and knocked.

"Enter." Caldwell looked up from his readings. "Doctor McKay."

"Colonel. Do you need something?"

"I was just trying to contact Atlantis." Caldwell noted the abrupt change in McKay's demeanor, from laid back annoyance to alert and warily. "At ease Doctor. It's not about you."

McKay furrowed an eyebrow and nodded, but looked unconvinced. "So what do you need me for?"

"I was trying to contact the counselor on Atlantis, to see if they had any serious concerns about the mental health of the expedition. If any show signs of violence or of any other potential victims that may have shared any similar cases of being attacked by their military colleagues to the therapist." Caldwell sighed and placed the report on his desk. "I knew it was a long shot given patient confidentiality, that there would be resistance, but I thought if I let them know we were investigating people would come forward. That's usually how these things go after all. One person says something, it finally breaks the ice and everything comes out at once like a dam. The problem is.. I didn't expect this much resistance to even get that far."

"What's the problem?"

"Atlantis is saying there is no counselor I can even relay my request to."

"Oh..." McKay closed his eyes sadly realizing where this was going."

"That's why I requested to speak with you, Doctor. Is it possible for you to contact the Counselor? Do you know who they are?"

"Atlantis.. Doesn't have a therapist... anymore..."

"Explain."

"Dr. Heightmeyer.. She unfortunately.. died awhile back.."

"Oh.. I see. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, it was... Horrible." McKay sat down in the chair opposite Caldwell as thoughts of Kate weighed heavy in his mind. It had been a while since he thought about her.. However, she didn't deserve to be forgotten. "She.. She was a really good psychologist.." McKay looked distant. "I saw her often... We... We even dated for a while.."

Caldwell looked on sympathetic. Many people have died in the SGC. Far too many. And the people left behind have to live with that daily. "Did you... Need to talk about it?"

McKay continued to look away from the Colonel and shrugged. "There's not much to talk about.."

"Understood." Caldwell didn't want to put any unnecessary mental strain on the scientist.

"Do you need anything more?" McKay asked quietly.

"No."

McKay got up to leave, but Caldwell raised his hand signaling him to wait.

"Actually.. Do you mind telling me.. How did Dr. Heightmeyer die?.. Wasn't she a civilian? She shouldn't have been in combat." It wouldn't have surprised Caldwell if Dr. Weir did indeed put her on a team.. After all, she has her head scientist on Atlantis's top team, which that logic in itself was a bit.. Questionable at best.. But understandable given certain technological missions.. Other missions though made no sense to him. For example, why send their top military team and their smartest scientist in the whole Pegasus galaxy, on a mission to trade for beans? Weren't there more important things they could be doing?

"Oh.." McKay looked down. "She wasn't in the field. She died in her sleep.. When an alien messed with her head."

"That's terrible." There were probably more awful aliens out there then anyone could count at this point. An alien that kills you while you sleep? Wow... Even more reason to keep anyone up at night in this line of work. "How did the alien get on Atlantis?"

"Sheppard touched a glowing crystal and accidentally brought the alien back with him."

'Oh, for the love of... There was never going to be a 'good accident' with Sheppard was there?' Caldwell restrained himself from voicing his displeasure about his fellow Colonel out loud and instead nodded, but he finally had to ask. "To clarify, the expedition never asked for a replacement?"

"They haven't." McKay confirmed.

"So the mentality of the expedition has gone unchecked since her passing?" Rodney just looked at him sadly and Caldwell pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation.

After a moment, McKay finally broke the silence. "It has been.. difficult.." He wasn't sure how much he wanted to admit, especially about his own.. 'mental needs' where Heightmeyer was concerned, but if it helped the people back in Atlantis, then maybe it was best he spoke up. They did need a new therapist after all.. For a lot of reasons.. Teyla was a good listener and a good substitute, but she couldn't do all the types of things a professional therapist could medical wise, regardless of how compassionate she was.

"Go on."

"Well.. Besides needing someone to talk to and diagnosing mental issues.. There's been the issue of..." McKay looked to the side, avoiding Caldwell's gaze. "Prescriptions."

"Don't the medical staff take care of that?"

"Well yes, but I mean getting the approval of specific prescription pills based on mental issues.. Some medications require a therapist to sign off on..."

Caldwell looked down at his report and began to type. "Can you verify this from first-hand experience?"

McKay paled. "Yes." He really didn't want to go into his own mental health.. Really.. Unfortunately, Caldwell had looked up from his note-taking and was waiting patiently for an explanation. "I.. sometimes.." Rodney looked to the side awkwardly. "Hallucinate people.." Caldwell gave no response, just looked down and continued typing. "Visual and auditory.." Caldwell's respectful silence made McKay uneasy, and whenever McKay gets nervous, he had a hard time keeping his mouth shut. So he kept babbling, despite himself. "It's really not a problem! Or that often!" Rodney suddenly announced, feeling like he needed to cut off any ideas that he may be crazy or not incredibly sane. "I started noticing it when I'd be left alone in stressful situations. The life and death type." He admitted thinking about all the times he had hallucinated Carter. He subconsciously began tapping his uninjured hand's fingers on Caldwell's desk. "Kate gave me a temporary trial prescription in order to see how I'd do on them, and they worked.. But once my prescription renewal ended, well.. It's been getting worse.." Rodney looked down feeling ashamed that his own brilliant brain could somehow betray his perception of reality. "They're now showing up even when I'm not stressed out.." After Beckett's death, Carson is almost always the only person he hallucinates anymore. First, he had begun showing up on the pier... It was actually kind of nice then. It was in a controlled sort of way, where he could visit and talk with him when he wanted. However, now it's gotten to the point where he could appear anywhere at any time.. McKay couldn't control it anymore, and it scared him. Caldwell looked up at him and Rodney quickly added, "I know they're not real. I've been ignoring them. It hasn't affected my work at all."

Caldwell nodded slowly. "I see."

"I'm not a schizophrenic." Rodney stated quiet but stern.

With that statement, Caldwell wasn't sure if McKay was trying to just convince him, or his own self as well. "I never said you were."

Rodney looked away pained. "You wont.. Tell Command all of that right?.. They'll probably pull me off of duty if they think I'm a nutcase."

Caldwell gazed at the distraught scientist. He was sharing much more than he needed too. He respected how much McKay could trust him with such personal information so quickly. He wasn't going to betray that unless he felt that it posed a threat, and from what he's seen, McKay was just as mentally capable as he's always been. "I won't, but we should see about renewing your prescription."

"Good, good." Rodney nodded relieved and lowered his chin at the mention of more meds. "Right.."

"Well, you can't be the only one who was relying on Dr. Heightmeyer. How come people haven't demanded a new therapist yet?"

"Well, for the most part, people can still get some types of medications if they're bold enough to ask for it themselves. Just as long as Heightmeyer prescribed it for them in the past and with refills left to spare."

"How are people getting these medications currently?" Caldwell asked frowning.

"Before people just would ask the medical staff to get whatever they needed through their supply requests to Earth, anything needed right away they'd try to make from scratch.. The medical staff was doing it's best, but with Carson.. gone.. People are having a harder time getting their medications. The new head doctor is young and.. well.. unapproachable to many.."

"Young and Unapproachable?" Caldwell furrowed his brow.

"Dr. Keller's twenty-three and.. has a reputation for being a bit.. er.. 'thirsty'.."

He really didn't want to ask but... "Thirsty?"

"From personal experience.. She tried to get with me and Ronon at the same time.. I was on board for a while, but.. It got really weird when I realized our age difference.. Also, there's this lesbian side chick she dates and goes drinking with.. Um.." Rodney tried to think, he was really bad at names sometimes..

'Yeah' Caldwell thought, 'with the amount of personal details McKay could so freely share, he definitely needed a therapist to talk too.'

After a moment he snapped his fingers. "Alicia Vega. Oh and I've heard other things.. Like I think Zelenka is one of her groupies too... I always hear him tell her that he thinks her hair smells nice.." Rodney rolled his eyes. "Her whole harem thing is weird. Let's really not get into it. Just know it makes it really awkward to ask her for certain medications... I've seen some of my minions try asking the other doctors and nurses, but any supply shipment has to be run by Keller, so.. some people just stopped asking. Either because they didn't want to embarrass themselves in front of the pretty doctor, or they think she's a bit too young and inexperienced to know what she's actually doing." Rodney tilted his head thoughtfully. "Or because she was too busy with her harem."

Caldwell decided he should not have opened that can of worms and it's probably best not to delve too deep into that topic for now. Though, wow... Only twenty-three and head doctor for Atlantis of all places?.. That's both impressive and scary at the same time.

Chapter Text

"These are quite the accusations, Colonel Caldwell."

Caldwell looked up at the the computer monitor that sat on his desk. On the screen, had the poised Camile Wray, the IOA's human resources officer. Her eyes over looking the report he had just sent, since arriving at the galaxy midpoint.

"Negligence, threatening, abuse of power, physical abuse, persecution of species, and a general lack of staff oversight..." Her eyes looked up from her reading and she regarded him. "Do you believe, Dr. Kavanagh and Dr. McKay?"

"I see no reason not to trust them."

"With only their word to back them up, they could be viewed as disgruntled employees."

"All evidence so far supports their claims."

Camile read off the list. "A report filed by Dr. Kavanagh, a medical diagnosis of few bruised ribs, a broken wrist, the testimonies of Dr. McKay and your own personal experiences and observations, alongside Atlantis being understaffed, isn't a lot of evidence to go off on."

"There's only so much I can do onboard this ship."

"I understand. I meant no disrespect, Colonel. However, if these claims are to be believed, both the civilian and military staff will need quite the shake up. The IOA will require a lot more convincing before they'll devote themselves to such an undertaking."

"Is what I've given you enough for the IOA to start a proper investigation?"

Wray looked conflicted. "It's.. difficult to say.. The IOA has been reluctant to address the problems they've been presented with from Pegasus. They don't want to take the blame if the war with the Wraith goes south."

"So, they're just going to ignore this?" Caldwell asked incredulously.

Camile thought for a moment. "Not unless we can show them their inaction makes them look even worse."

"How do I do that?"

"We. How do 'we' do that?.." Camile sipped her drink and eyed the monitor. After a moment she answered, "You can take me with you."

Caldwell gave her a questioning look and Camile clasped her hands around her drink and thought for a moment how to explain the political maneuverings of the IOA.

"Officially, the IOA won't want to announce their investigating Dr. Weir, as doing so means they'll have to make a decision one way or the other about her, so they wont hold a board meeting. However, if I go to Atlantis in a representative role, the board wont personally be in the line of fire. They'll feel more at ease that they'll have me as a 'fall guy' if things go south. Their hands are clean, since I'll be making this decision myself and be the one acting on their interests. I'll observe Atlantis, and we'll gather more credible evidence. This way I'll be able to give the IOA a proper representation on site and a personal overview of the situation. If there's enough evidence that I know they'll have to proceed we'll force the IOA's hand, it not then it falls to me and my jurisdiction."

"Will the IOA let you do that?"

"I've been their off world representative in the past on several of Command's off world bases, making sure everything is done to their standards. This is the same thing, just on a much larger and more prominent scale. "

"Understood." Caldwell found it rather pathetic of the IOA head committee, to care so much about politics, that individual IOA members have to put their own careers on the line just to get anything done, and have that seen as the norm. It's just sad. "If you don't mind me asking.."

"Go ahead."

"Why are you so willing to put yourself on the line for people you don't even know?" He asked, both curious and full of respect.

Camile's eyes slide down to her cup and she replied sadly, "Because I know what it's like to be persecuted."

"Oh... I'm sorry."

Camile thought about her time with Sharon, and how much hate they used to get. "Don't worry. It's fine now." She shook her head, getting her thoughts back to business.
"Besides, the International Oversight Advisory was made to oversee, coordinate, fund the Stargate program, as well as recommend or recall personnel. It's the base of which this organization was founded. It has a legit purpose,... Unfortunately, it seems overtime most of us have forgotten that in exchange for power and prestige. However, we all joined the IOA for a reason, and some of us actually remember why."

Camile tilted her head and added, "Though if this does work out well, I wouldn't mind a promotion."

Caldwell couldn't tell if her last remark was her teasing or serious. Instead he just nodded understandingly. "The Daedalus will be in orbit to Earth in 9 days."

"Well, that gives me some time to properly go over what you've given me so far, and begin preparing a case."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. We're just getting started."

Caldwell's comms chimed in from the communications officer.

"Colonel, we're receiving an urgent message from Atlantis." Lt. Mark Stuart reported.

"Understood." He looked back at Camile. "I have to go."

"I heard. See you soon, Colonel." The transmission cut off, and Camile looked to the side in deep thought about the case, then suddenly wondered how she was going to explain to Sharon why she wasn't going to be home for dinner for awhile.. Again.. Also, maybe by the time she comes back that ugly chair will be gone.. Hmm..

Caldwell made it to the bridge and took his seat. Elizabeth appeared on screen, her face full of concern. "Dr. Weir, what seems to be the problem?"

"Our long range sensors detected the Wraith and the Replicators.
They're coming."

Chapter Text

Back on Atlantis, Miko hurriedly went from one corner to the next in her quarter’s kitchen. Oven preheated to 350 degrees. Her hands skillfully separating six egg whites and egg yolks.

Her door chimed and she glanced up at it. “Come in.”

Laura’s eyes peered inside, scanning the busy kitchen setup. There was all matter of strewn about ingredients and abandoned pastry creations around the tiny room. An unusual sight given that Dr. Kusanagi’s quarters were usually so well maintained and tidy. “How’s it going?”

Miko signed exasperated. “Fine.” She added sugar, salt and vanilla extract to the egg yolks.

Cadman flopped down on her couch and stretched.

As Miko started beating her yolks, she looked to Laura and watched her swinging her feet over the couches armrest. Her black polished tap shoes reflecting light. “How are you doing?”

“My feet are killing me!” She admitted, as she toed off her shoes and sighed in relief when they were off.

Miko sifted the cake flour with baking powder over the egg yolks and stirred. “So the dance competition went poorly?” She asked confused.

“Oh no! It was great! Teldy won though. Girl has stamina of steal!”

“Ah.” Miko nodded absentmindedly, as she added cream and six tablespoons of sugar.

“Also Alison was such a wild child! You should have seen it!”

“You know I couldn’t.” She frowned, as she beat the mixture stiff.

“Ah yes.. A whole week spending all of your free time never leaving the cooking cave.” She rolled her eyes. “What cake is this? Number three hundred?”

“It has to be perfect!”

“The first one was perfect.”

Miko shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

“You want to impress,” Laura did air quotes, “‘your fearless leader’, I got it.” She looked her over and frowned. “Does he even know you’re going to all this trouble?”

“If he did, it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?” She answered pointedly, as she stirred one third of the egg whites into the egg yolks to lighten the mixture, and then began the process of folding the other thirds.

“I’m just saying, at this rate, you’ll have expanded all of your Daedalus personal acquisition rations you’ve accumulated the last year on this one thing.”

“He’s worth it.”

Cadman looked at her suspicious. “You really care about him, don’t you?”

“Who doesn’t?”

Cadman snorted, then quickly tried to suppress it at Miko’s sharp glare. She raised her hands defensively. “I’m sorry, but I honestly think you’re his only fan girl.”

Miko sighed. She didn’t know why people treated him so poorly. He was always saving their lives with his talents. Wasn’t all his hard work worth more than one mistake? She winced at the thought of Arcturus. If it wasn’t for that one accident, he’d still be here instead of on the Daedalus, and Dr. Zelenka wouldn’t be in charge. Not that Zelenka was bad, but.. He just wasn't Dr. McKay. It just wasn’t the same, and she missed him terribly.

“You don’t understand.. It has to be perfect, because I want to make sure he feels welcomed back.”

“You’re acting like he’s been gone for years and might never return?”

“Well.. What it he doesn’t? What if the Daedalus doesn’t treat him any better and he leaves there also? Right now, he’s only coming back because of the wraith and replicators that are zeroing in on our doorstep.. After this..” Miko’s eyes began to water. “What if I don’t ever see him again?”

“Oh, sweetie.” Cadman’s gaze softened. She got up and walked over to her. “Well.. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the gesture when he arrives.”

“You really think so?” Miko sniffed and dabbed her eyes.

Cadman gave her a hug. “I know it.”

Chapter Text

Some time ago…

Rodney walked down the hallways, shoulders slumped in defeat and exhaustion. He kept his head down as he walked, avoiding the judgemental eyes of people around him.

He had failed Project Arcturus. Most of all, he had failed in the eyes of his peers, and worst of all, John Sheppard.

As his feet took him the transporter in as quick a way as he could, without drawing to much unwanted attention to himself, he caught sight of John. “Sheppard!” He looked up to him warily. John turned around, annoyance in his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He stated guiltily.

“I got the email.”

Rodney looked past John, unseeingly, avoiding the disappointment in his eyes, as he began playing with his fingers nervously. “But I needed to say it in person.”

“What do you expect me to say? Apology accepted?” He questioned harshly.

His blue eyes darted left and right. “I.. I don’t know.. I just thought-”

“That’s the problem, McKay." Sheppard shook his head and turned to the side. "You think too much all the time.”

He winced at his biting tone and closed his eyes, so he didn’t have to see his frustrated gaze staring down at him. “I-I just meant.. I hope.. You still trust in my abilities..”

“I don’t.”

Rodney involuntarily took a step back, stricken with a pain in his chest. His simple instant words hurting him much more deeply than he’d care to admit to anyone.

“I.. I hope one day I can restore that... trust..” He cursed himself mentally at how pathetic and broken his voice sounded around John. The fact the Colonel had such control over his emotions and behaviour was upsetting.

He thinks Sheppard noticed something.. Perhaps he noticed the hurt that flickered over his body, at his words? A weakness in his personal shell he usually surrounded himself with. Because right before he touched the panel, he added salt to the wound that would be McKay’s undoing and he knew it. “I doubt you can.” He stated simply, clicked the panel and was gone.

The simple, nonchalant, curt, and more importantly, ‘honesty’ in his reply, left all hope out of Rodney, and he found himself on his knees in the middle of the hallway, suddenly hyperventilating. Eyes trembling as he gazed unfocused ahead.

--

Now…

Rodney sat at the conference table on edge. His fingers tapping his leg with anxiety. He was nervous, despite the comforting familiarity of the room. How many times had he been welcomed in by the sliding doors, ready to get a start on the day?

Today, the feeling of belonging in that room, earning his place at that table, was gone.

Colonel Caldwell was sitting at his left, while Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Weir sat straight ahead. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t stop staring at John’s leering of disapproval.

If there was one positive thing about Sheppard’s ability to catch his attention so completely, it was at least it that it helped Rodney from side glancing to Dr. Beckett. His ghostly hallucination sat so perfectly and at home in his old seat, that it physically hurt to acknowledge him.

“Dr. Zelenka has calculated that the Wraith will be here by noon.” Weir stated.

“The Hive is currently being chased by replicators, correct?” Caldwell’s eyes scanned the report.

“Yes.” Sheppard’s eyes peeled off McKay and stared at Caldwell suspicious.

“What preparations have you made?”

John leaned back in his chair. “We’ve secured railguns at various points around Atlantis and have the Jumper’s on standby, but it’s just a precaution.”

“A precaution?” Colonel Caldwell’s brow furrowed, as he looked up at the young Colonel questioningly.

“It would stand to reason that ‘when’ and ‘if’ they drop their engines, the replicators will just obliterate them for us.” Sheppard’s eyes flickered to McKay. “That is..” His eyes lingered just long enough for Rodney to fidget under the intensity of the gaze. “If McKay programmed them right.” He glared that last point then looked away casually, as it nothing. “Though, given recent events..”

Rodney felt that sting and looked down at the table. Caldwell glared at John in his defense, and Rodney felt a hand over his. It took a moment to realize he had been unconsciously giving his knee a death grip under the table, and Caldwell had secretly put his hand on his to stop him.. and maybe.. if Rodney thought about it,.. as some private protective gesture against the other Colonel. For some reason, the warmth and gentleness of the simple action, made Rodney take a deep calming breath.

Weir’s eyes swept over the Colonel's that had an air of hostility and edge around them and she added, trying to both take the pressure off, as well as make the Colonel as fully informed as she could, “We don’t know if they’re even aware of Atlantis’s location. Some scientists have suggested it could just be happenstance that they’re traveling in this direction, as they try to escape the Asurans.” She folded her hands on the table and glanced down at it. “However, as much as I wished it were true.. There are doubts of that theory.”

“Michael.” Rodney added absentmindedly as his eyes glanced to her.

“He knows where we are.” She nodded as she to looked Caldwell and McKay. “ So I’m not going to take chances and leave the fate of this expedition to guess work,” She looked to John, “or the replicators.” She looked to Caldwell. “That’s why I’ve asked for your assistance.” She looked around the table. “You are this galaxies best and brightest, and if we all can trust each other and work together, instead of against each other, I know we’ll make it through this.”

Chapter Text

After the meeting, McKay made a hasty retreat, refusing to look back. If anyone asked him why he practically jogged to a transporter and then to a lab, he would have told them that time was of the essence of course.

He made sure the lab he took was empty. He didn’t want to any awkward interactions right now. After all, he was bad at socializing at the best of times.

He didn’t have much time to prepare anything special, though most people would say his last minute ideas were usually his best. However, for right now he was just going to help make more bombs. He mentally told himself it would be the most helpful right now.

Something easy. Something simple.

“Something you can’t screw up?”

He glanced up at the familiar voice in his head, as he slid on some protective gloves.

“Oh, yes. Very funny, Sam.” He scoffed.

“I wasn’t trying to be.” He watched her sit on the edge of the workbench, and gracefully slide back, so she could comfortably lay down, while getting a good view of his work. Her unzipped, bright pink uniform, was starkly vivid and eye catching, against the standard grey hues of the lab.

“You’re a little early.” He muttered to himself as he glance at his watch under his glove, then back to her. “It isn’t last minute crunch time yet. That’s in a few hours.”

“Maybe for the Wraith.. But not for you..”

His eyes reluctantly slid away from her exposed blue lace bra. He had work to do. He couldn’t have a verbal sexy sparring match right now.

He looked down at the materials and got to work.

After about half and hour, he heard a worried hiss.

He backed up and looked at it carefully. “What? Do you see something?”

He glanced up at her and watched her wince, then stare at his work concerned, as she bit her lip. She shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

“No. Tell me. Did I miss something?”

He watched her tilt her head and observe him questioningly. “Do you think you did something wrong?”

He huffed. “I’m not the one who.. “ He moved his hands about trying to find the right words. “Made a noise of disapproval. You did.”

There was no reply and he frowned. He eyed the device carefully, then turned back to her. “This..” He pointed forcefully. “This is a test! You’re testing me!”

“Am I?”

He returned back to his work, and hunched over the bomb, he was currently working on. “Yes. You’re trying to make me doubt myself, but guess what Colonel, I’ve been making bombs since grade six. I have full confidence in my abilities!” He raised a finger and shook it. “This little mind game of yours, is not going to work!”

“What’s going on here?”

Rodney jumped started at the voice and looked up at Caldwell, standing at the entrance.

Steven’s eyes scanned the empty lab, then looked to Dr. McKay with an annoyed frown. “Is the Colonel taunting you on the radio?”

“N-no, I..” Rodney stammered and stood up flushed.

Steven watched his reaction carefully as he waited for an explanation. He saw Rodney’s eyes slid away and looked pointedly to a workbench, then quickly looked back at him, as if nothing happened.

“Colonel.” Rodney raised his chin up. His voice higher pitched than normal. “Do you need something?”

“Not particularly..” Caldwell wondered why McKay was changing the subject so abruptly. What was he hiding? “I came here to check on your progress.”

“Maybe you should tell him the stress is getting to you, lad.” Dr. Beckett suggested.

Caldwell saw Rodney glance to his right for a quick moment then looked back towards him warily. “Everything is right on schedule, sir.”

He nodded slowly. “Good. I have several strategies for the mission that I’m formulating for the Daedalus.”

“Ah.” Rodney nodded.

“It’ll be easier for you on the Daedalus.” Carson added with a nod. “This place.. It’s not good for your psyche right now.”

Caldwell looked across the room then back to the Doctor. “I’ll be doing them in here. I promise I won’t disturb you.”

“Here?” Rodney’s voice squeaked, then he frowned and tried to cover his anxiety, unfortunately much too late. “Wouldn’t that be better on the Daedalus?”

He moved to an empty workbench and sat down with his tablet. “I want to stay in close proximity to Dr. Weir. So we can both coordinate our efforts more efficiently.”

“He’s going to catch you in a mistake.” Dr. Brendan Gall suddenly appeared in McKay’s vision, sitting on a cabinet behind Caldwell and stated suspiciously. “Maybe he’ll even finally see just how damaged you are.”

“Don’t you.. Have an office here?” McKay tried, voice light with worry.

“... Yes…”

“Then.. Shouldn’t you be in there?”

Caldwell didn’t have a retort to that. The Doctor really didn’t seem to want this.. Didn’t he understand he was just trying to protect the civilian? “Normally.. Yes..”

Rodney stared at him for a long moment, when the Colonel gave no other explanation, he simply said, “Fine..” and started to pack some materials away.”

“What are you doing?”

“It wouldn’t be safe to expose you to such hazardous materials. I’ll move to a different lab.”

Carson made a tisk noise. “Sounds like a reasonable precaution, lad.”

Steven found it almost ironic. They were both trying to limit each other's exposure. Just to two very different things. “Never mind Doctor.. I’ll take the room across the hall.”

Steven got up reluctantly and walked to the door, just before he stepped out, McKay spoke up.

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

“What?”

“I don’t need you looking over my shoulder and making sure I do my job right.”

“I.” He felt a strange feeling in his stomach he didn’t quite understand, at the accusation. “That’s not what I-”

McKay cut him off with a scowl. “With all do respect, Sir. I know I can do my job, but if you don’t trust that I can succeed without supervision, then maybe it’s best you put your best people on it instead.” He slipped off his gloves, with his head down, eyes to the floor. “People you actually have confidence it.”

He was getting this all wrong. “Doctor, that’s not what I meant.”

“What else could he have possibly meant?” Dr. Gall asked and leaned in. “He’s just back tracking, because he thinks your too weak to handle the truth.”

As Dr. McKay walked past, avoiding his eyes, Caldwell, before he even knew what he was doing, instinctively grabbed McKay’s arm, stopping him. The Civilian looked up at him startled and wince, taking a step back. Suddenly, Caldwell felt guilt at his reaction and just as instantly, let him go.

“I didn’t mean to startle you.”

The scientist said nothing, and just continued walking away as he held his wrist brace tenderly to his chest.

Caldwell leaned back against the Wall and sighed.

What was he doing? Was he going about this completely wrong? He was so used to dealing with soldiers, that dealing with civilians was always a struggle. Let alone.. How was he supposed to watch over a broken one?

--

As Rodney walked down the hall in a somber mood, he was nearly collided into by a short minion coming from the adjacent corridor.

The minion bowed her head. “Oh! My most humble apologies!” When she looked up and realized who it was, her eyes widened and she quickly looked back down in respect, though McKay thought it was just to avoid looking at him.

“Dr. McKay! It’s wonderful to see you!”

His expression soured in disbelief. “Is it?” He looked her over trying to remember her name, but for some reason he was always bad at those.

“I.. I have prepared food in your honour.”

Rodney snorted at the rude joke, then when the girl glanced up looking bashful he gave her a confused, surprised expression. “You’re serious?”

She looked hurt. “Of course. Your return to Atlantis should be a welcome one!”

This… Was really.. Weird..

Rodney glanced down at his watch. Well… He supposed he had a little bit of time for a break and he was feeling peckish now that she reminded him of food.

“Okay?... Lead on.”

She flushed. “Right.. Of course.” As she began to lead him to her room she added embarrassed, “I’m very happy to see you again.”

“Well at least someone is.”

After they stepped through the teleporter and he found himself in one of the resident living area towers, he looked to her suspicious. “This isn’t a joke it is?.. Like we get there and it’s one of those, I can’t believe you fell for it moments.”

She stepped up to her door and opened it. “I promise you. It isn’t.”

His eyes widened stunned at the display. All the surfaces of the tables where covered in trays of different assortments.

“I..” He wasn’t sure what to say, and that was rare.

She bowed her head humbly. “I wasn’t sure what your favourite was.. So.. I made every dessert you usually ask for during our late shifts.”

“You..” He stared at her wide eyed. “You remembered all of these?” He couldn’t even remember what he had for breakfast three days ago.

She nodded embarrassed and gestured for him to enter and have a seat.

She sat across from him and kept her eyes low, with a little look of worry.

He looked from a tray to her, then back to the tray and cautiously picked up a cupcake.

“Oh, and don’t worry.” She spoke up suddenly. “Nothing has citrus.”

He peered at the dessert skeptical then took a bite. The frosting was mouth wateringly delicious.

He looked up at her stunned, as she bit her lip nervous. “This is amazing!”

“Really?” She gave him a relieved look.

“Yeah!” He had another bite. “Thanks.” He snapped his free hands fingers as he tried to remember her name. “Doctor...”

“Miko. You can just call me Miko.. If you want.”

He smiled. “Thanks Miko.”

Chapter Text

The Daedalus was a short distance away from Atlantis, hiding in an asteroid field, while the city itself remained cloaked. Just in case the Wraith didn’t know they were there.

Down in engineering, Rodney waited impatiently. His fingers tapping his console absentmindedly. He wasn’t used to not being at the forefront of conflict. To not see the action first hand, or even just not being on the bridge to witness it, was unnerving. He was the man to put out the fires before it had a chance to catch the wind. Being in this position meant he had to wait. To get informed with orders. A few precious seconds of knowing the situation could make all the difference, and that lost advantage was consciously eating away at him.

He glanced to the fidgeting Novak, who broke the tension with a nervous hiccup.

Hermiod narrowed his big dark eyes and said nothing as he returned his attention back to his console.

--

On the bridge, Colonel Caldwell kept stern vigil over the viewport monitor. He kept his eyes peeled, waiting for the FTL window to drop. The bridge was deathly quiet.

Suddenly, there was a flash as space shattered open and a hive crept out of the rip.

His crew held a collective bated breath, as they all watched the Hive and wondered its intentions.

Comms were silent, and Caldwell glanced at the station monitoring Atlantis’s situation. If there were any complications, he had to order them to jump back to the city immediately.

“Sir,” Communications officer Lt. Mark Stuart broke the silence. “The hive is broadcasting.”

“Put it through.”

“I know you’re there.” The voice of a man stated.

Caldwell’s eyes narrowed and he touched to Comms for Engineering.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” The voice continued.

“Dr. McKay. Do you know who this is?”

Rodney glanced up as the broadcast continued. “Drop the cloak.”

“Michael.”

“Sir. The replicators.” Navigator Lt. Colonel Patrick Bishop announced.

Caldwell turned his attention back to the screen and suddenly, their other rival appeared. It was an Asuran cruiser, hot on the Hives trail.

As soon as the Asurans dropped out of hyperspace, they cast a volley of energy weapons fire at the hive.

“They’re sustaining heavy damage.” Captain Kleinman reported as he kept a close eye on the Hive’s scans. Darts began to swarm out of Michael's ship in droves.

--

The doctors clamored over Hermiod’s shoulder as they watched the scans.

Kavanagh glanced up from the console at the others. “Maybe if we’re lucky, they’ll all kill each other.”

“That would be nice,” Novak replied. “We finally wouldn’t have to get involved for once.”

Rodney frowned. “There’s more to this. Michael wasn’t that dumb to launch a suicide mission.”

“Maybe he was desperate with that tail on him,” Kavanagh added. “With nowhere else to go, he came crawling back to Atlantis because he had no one else?”

“Or maybe..” Rodney’s eyes flickered of the many, many, dots that littered the screen.

“What are you thinking?” Hermiod asked as he blinked slowly.

He watched the dots, then snapped his fingers as half the darts attacked. They spiraled around the Asuran cruiser, firing on it from all sides, while the other half barreled down towards the planet below. “This was all a ruse. He knew he couldn’t outrun the Asurans so he gave them what he wanted, right on Atlantis’s doorstep, while he goes for what he’s really after!”

“But what does he hope to accomplish, being marooned in a dart all the way out here?” Novak asked. “Is he just gonna hibernate till he makes it to another planet with a gate?”

“He isn’t trying to escape. He came to Atlantis for a reason.”

--

The city rang with loud crashes, as darts suicided themselves against the Atlantis’ walls.

“We need those shields up now!” Weir commanded.

“Yes! Yes!” Zelenka replied hurriedly. He was already at the controls switching the cloak off and turning the shields on.

“How long will it hold?”

Radek’s hands fidgeted about, as he moved on to his tablet as he ran the numbers.

“Elizabeth,” Sheppard called over comms. “We’ll buy you more time, but I’ve detected eight darts that have already gotten through.”

“Thank you. We’ll handle those in here. Good luck.” Her eyes flickered to Bates and gave him a nod. He turned and took several soldiers with him, quipped with scanners.

“I want all available teams scouting the perimeter,” Bates ordered as he moved out of the command room.

Teyla grabbed her gear and was followed by multiple Athosian hunters.

“Not by you.” He glared at the alien civilians.

“We are here to help,” Teyla assured.

“Thanks, but we got this.”

“Atlantis is our home too. We will fight for it.” Bates walked past her and she continued. “The Wraith do not discriminate who they eat. We will fight to protect ourselves and you.”

“Fine! Just don’t get in the way!”

Back in the control room, Zelenka looked up from his ZPM energy readings and gave Dr. Weir a worried expression. “This isn’t good.”

“What's wrong?”

“Those darts outside are draining a lot of power. In minimal doses yes, but each time they slam into the shield it all adds up.”

Dr. Weir tapped her radio. “Any way you can stop those darts?”

“We’re working on it,” Sheppard replied sternly, as he eyed the enemy in his jumper.
Outside the shield, Puddle Jumpers flew over the city protectively shooting at the approaching darts, trying to take them out.

--

Back in space, Caldwell squinted as he looked over the scene. Remnants of the hive floated about uselessly, growing smaller in size against the bombardment by the Asurans until there was nothing left. The Asuran ship then began to make its move toward the planet.

“Bishop get us between that thing and Atlantis. Kleinman as soon as we’re in range you’re free to fire.” He ordered.

The ship began to fire upon them. The Cruiser changed course and began to fire back.

Caldwell felt the ship jerk at the impact. “Well, that got their attention.”

“Colonel, I’m picking up another Hyperspace window!” Bishop reported, and suddenly a strange-looking cylinder-shaped ship appeared.

“Kleinman, keep firing on the Asurans.” He clicked comms, “Lorne, Hocken, get those F-302s in the air. Don’t let that cruiser get to Atlantis. Hermiod, what am I looking at?”

Novak, Kavanagh, and McKay peered over the readings.

“The ship design appears as Asuran based, with a stargate,” Hermiod reported impassively.

“A stargate for what? Off-world fighter deployment?” Kavanagh asked.

Hermiod spoke up, “Colonel, I’m reading an energy signature from the structure. The Stargate appears to be powering up.”

--

In space, the platform finished its dialing sequence, and suddenly out of the gate erupted a massive beam that fired unto the planet below.

The view of the shield inside shimmered with red and orange hues.

Sheppard’s brow furrowed as he looked at the column of light. “This could be a problem...”

--

While patrolling a walkway, Teyla heard the muffled footsteps of someone approaching from the adjacent hall. “She raised her P-90 and slowed her pace. Eyes narrowing at the opening. A wraith appeared and she gunned down the drone, firing a full clip into the face. When it collapsed, she peered down at it cautiously until she was sure it was dead. Another figure followed suit. She raised her weapon again only to find Michael with his hands up unarmed.

--

Back on the Daedalus, people were rushing around trying to put out electrical fires and fix systems that the Asurans had damaged.

Caldwell watched, as several of their fighters had been blown to bits under the heavy fire, but a few of the F-302’s managed to weave around the Cruisers gunfire from below and sustain fire to the engines, unfortunately, the ship’s shields were still too strong.

He then turned his attention to the more pressing problem at hand. The Daedalus had begun to bombard the beam satellite, while the F-302’s distracted the Cruiser, unfortunately, to no apparent effect. “Put everything you got into it, Kleinman.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He tapped the Engineering radio. “Tell me you have some way of stopping that thing.”

The scientists looked at each other bewildered.

Novak gave an awkward defeated look to the men, then responded, “Unfortunately... No.”

“There has to be something that can lower that shield.”

Rodney straightened and brought his braced wrist to his chest, fingers curled subconsciously. “The satellite shields are being powered through the energy beam itself. As long as the people on the other side of that wormhole keep pumping power through, that weapon will remain operational.”

Kavanagh leaned forward. “I would suggest looking for whoever's making that connection, and quick.”

Rodney mentally did the numbers and looked ill. “There won’t be enough time.”

“Let’s try not to give up on Atlantis quite yet, Doctor.”

“By my estimate, Atlantis’s shield will fall in minutes.”

--

“Teyla, you wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man?” Michael’s tone was heartfelt.

Teyla lowered her brow, as she eyed the wraith hybrid. The way he was peering back at her, had an unusual warmth to it. “What are you doing here, Michael?”

“I could ask the same of you?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Why are you still on Atlantis with these..” He eyed the place disgusted. “People.”

“I do not have time for your mind games.”

“This isn’t one. I was being genuine.”

She aimed her weapon more forcefully, and Michael didn’t bat an eye. “Start talking, now.”

--

With the last of the darts defeated, either by a jumper or by suicide runs on the shield, Sheppard took the lead, bringing the puddle jumpers into the fight against the Asuran ship. He joined alongside the F-302’s and battered the Asuran shields until they weakened.

Just then there was another Hyperspace window, but this time it was the Apollo.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” Colonel Ellis stated over comms.

Sheppard smirked. “Better late than never.”

The Apollo began its volley on the cruiser as all groups attacked together.

Swerving left and right, in and out of the fire, Sheppard made his attack, until the Asuran cruiser’s integrity began to buckle, and suddenly, the ship exploded, just above the planet’s surface. Its pieces falling through the scorching atmosphere.

--

The scientists in Engineering spat out the situation at a mile a minute, which was a good thing considering they only had a hand full left.

As Kavanagh and Novak shouted complications and possible ramifications at each other, Rodney was in deep silent concentration. Blue eyes staring straight ahead unseeing until light caught his eyes, and they widened. An idea in his head.

“Caldwell!” He snapped. “Get back to the Asteroid field.”

“Why?” He asked as he nodded to his bewildered navigator to make the course corrections.

“Well, we need something big to put in between Atlantis and the device, until the city can move out of the way.”

“Move the city?! It can’t even power the shield for much longer!” Kavanagh’s voice sounded like Rodney was crazy. “Will the city even have enough power for that?!”

Rodney looked solemn. “We better hope so.”

--

Back in Atlantis’ control room, Elizabeth made her way down to the large window and stared out. “What is this?”

Zelenka’s readings pinged dangerously and just as Radek looked to Dr. Weir, it was too late. The shield buckled and a large blast broke through, narrowly missing hitting the main tower square on and instead skimmed the side. The impact threw everyone back in the blast while the tower's great window rained glass down upon Dr. Weir, as her head slammed down upon the floor.

Chapter Text

Just 5 minutes ago.

“Think people! There’s a giant laser right on top of Atlantis. What do we got?” Colonel Ellis demanded both crews, as the two pulled their resources. His hands on his hips, as he stared down the nerds though the viewscreen.

“Can we…” Dr. Lee began, then when everyone looked at him, he looked away. “No. Nevermind. It’s stupid.”

“It probably is, but let me be the judge of that.” Rodney crossed his arms. “What is it?”

“Well.. You know in those video games when you have a laser puzzle?”

Novak nodded. “I do. Those are fun.”

“We’re on a clock! Get to the point, Doctor.” Ellis commanded annoyed.

“Well.. Usually you have to find some way to move the laser or reflect it out of your path.”

The scientists all stared at each other not saying anything. Dr. Lee looked between them all. “I.. I told you it was stupid.”

“Yeah. That was stupid.” Rodney looked on ahead, shaking his finger in thought. “But that gives me another idea…”

“How about you share with the class, Dr. McKay.” Ellis responded unamused.

“Instead of doing the impossible and moving the gate despite it’s engines, which would prevent us from doing that anyway…”

We instead, move the city.

“Caldwell!” He snapped. “Get back to the Asteroid field.”

--

Now:

The asteroid bought them time, but not long.

“Just get it done.” Colonel Ellis spat over the radio, as Radek began ramblings in a panicked aggressive tone in his native tongue. When he was done with one nerd, he eyed the next through the screen. “Are you sure this will work?”

“It’ll work!” McKay snapped. Getting annoyed that even people who didn’t know him couldn’t trust in his abilities. He knew Atlantis. Knew what she was capable of and he knew how much zero point energy she had to work with. They’d get through this. He knew it.

--

People on Caldwell’s bridge watch in fascination, as the city rose from the world and entered space.

It worked alright.

Atlantis and her entourage of ships flew after her in the darkness of space.

Then a short while later, their comms buzzed.

--

“Rodney.” Caldwell’s voice rang solemn over comms.

McKay’s heart sunk at the tone. “It.. It didn’t work? Did it?”

“No. It did. However, we’ve received word… Dr. Weir is in critical condition. You may want to go see her.”

Rodney looked on unseeing. He took a moment to speak. “Understood.”

Chapter Text

Rodney gazed down at Elizabeth sorrowfully. She was lying on the hospital bed, still and pale. He laid his hand gently on hers.

"It's not your fault, lad." Carson murmured.

"No. It is." Carter looked hard at Carson, then looked towards McKay. "If he'd been fast enough with his ideas, this might not have happened."

"I'm sorry," Rodney said quietly, as he closed his eyes and gently squeezed her hand. "This is all my fault. I should have been here... I should have-" He stopped mid confession with a regretful sigh. Maybe things would have been different if he had been there. Maybe not... Regardless, he was there now and that's what he had to focus on. The here and now.

He opened his eyes and looked down at her sadly, then over to her bedside monitor.

He'd have to deal with the guilt later, for now, however, he knew what he had to do.

He took out his tablet and began the process of reactivating her nanites.

--

Bates was making his rounds, looking for more wraith when he spotted two still dots on his life signs detector. He didn't know why they weren't moving but given how far out they were from the labs and essential naquadah generator rooms, he figured it couldn't have been the scientists, and he knew where his men were located, so he decided to investigate.

He wordlessly signaled orders for his men with his free hand to patrol the other hallways nearby and take care of the other lone dots while he handled this one.

When everyone had their orders he continued and peered quietly around the corner for a line of sight.

He shouldn't be surprised.

He aimed for as clear of a shot as he could, which was right above Teyla's shoulder. He took the shot and hit Michael.

The wraith hybrid stumbled back and fell. He braced himself against the wall as he slumped down it.

Teyla spun around, readying another clip when she saw him. "Bates!"

He stepped out with his gun pointed and glared back at the Athosian, then proceeded to aim his gun at her next. "Conversing with the enemy, are we?"

"You are wrong. This is not how it appears."

Bates could trust his eyes more than this woman's words, but he'd humor her for Sheppard's sake. "Oh? And what's your excuse this time? You freed Michael last time and Sheppard bought your whole 'he took over your mind' act but there's no denying it now." He gestured his gun at both of them.

"He came to me unarmed with knowledge of a cure. He knows how to eliminate the need to feed. He just needs our help to mass-produce it."

Bates fought the urge to roll his eyes and instead glared. "You expect me to believe that load of bull?! After he just bombarded Atlantis with darts and brought the replicators to our doorstep?"

He stepped closer and Teyla saw the anger in his eyes and the way he aimed at her. She quickly pointed her P-90 back at him. "Lower your weapon. All you need is to see his palm to know it is the truth."

Michael watched the two silently. His slit eyes sliding between the two. He smirked, as Teyla took his side.

Bates shook his head sensing a trap. He felt it in his bones. They wanted him close to see his palm just so her wraith friend could feed on him and heal his gunshot wound. He was sure of it. "Even if I believed you, which I don't! How many Human lives did that man use to experiment on to get this supposed cure? He's sick, Teyla. We've seen his machinations."

She lowered her head slightly, unsure of how to respond to that statement.

Bates carried on feeling more and more righteous in his anger. Feeling verified in what he had been saying all along. "I knew it. You were a traitor. Always have been. Always will be."

"I am not. Whatever you think, I cannot let you kill him now. Not when he has the treatment that can end the wraith threat to the galaxy." Teyla warned.

"You want to end the wraith threat?" The smug look on the wraith hybrid's face only made Bates all the more sure this was a setup, and Bates' own eyes narrowed in determination. "I have the cure right here." He fired his gun.

Chapter Text

About twenty minutes later, Rodney could hear Sheppard arguing with Dr. Keller outside the isolated ward.

He studied Elizabeth's vitals. They were finally stable, and she was on her way to recovery, as the nanites continued to do their job.

He glanced over to the door as Sheppard's voice rose. He still couldn't tell what was being said but he knew John was pissed. That was probably his cue to leave.

He gazed sadly at Elizabeth one last time, before turning to leave. He peered outside the ward cautiously. A group of marines brought wounded in. He couldn't see all of them from his vantage point but he thought one of them might have been Michael.

Dr. Keller seemed relieved at the distraction of more patients and removed herself from Sheppard's fury to check on them. John's gaze followed her.

Rodney tried to use the opening to his advantage. He kept his head down and headed straight for the exit. Just as he walked through the door, however, Sheppard's gaze turned towards his direction to look for Elizabeth and ended up catching a glimpse of the fleeing scientist.

~~~

McKay decided to make himself useful, but preferably where he could do so alone, so he avoided the critical labs and the control room. He instead went a few floors underneath it to one of the less essential, but still important areas. After making his way out of the transporter he went towards the edge of what remained of the outer wall that had been grazed by the beam. Most of the structure remained intact, thankfully. However, there were places where the intense energy of the beam had warped and melted the metal just from the intense heat it gave off near it. Not to mention the huge amounts of shattered glass that littered the ground and left giant gaping holes where they used to be.

Rodney had started to run diagnostics when he heard the transporter open and steps approach. He kept his eyes to his work, to avoid the eyes of whichever engineer had been sent down here. Rodney suddenly found himself falling to his side in shocked pain, as a surprise fist connected with his jaw. Glass cut across his hands and arm as he landed on his palm.

He hissed and gritted his teeth against the pain that wracked his mouth, the sting of the cuts, and his tender wrist pulsed in agony as his weight landed against it.

He scowled, then bared his teeth, as he prepared a tirade of verbal insults instantly in his mind. It was his only real defense mechanism. As he looked up to his attacker ready to rant at him, his expression turned to shock and his confidence crumbled as he saw Sheppard's face. He stared up at him stunned and didn't resist as the Colonel's fists grabbed his uniform, lifted him and shoved his back against the hard burning edge of the shattered window frame. Rodney winced as jagged shards of glass jammed into his back and the scorching heat of the metal left burns.

"HOW COULD YOU!?" Sheppard screamed into his face. A wild tormented look in his eyes. "YOU MADE HER A REPLICATOR!?"

Rodney gaped. It took his mind a few seconds to register what was happening... That Sheppard was... "S-she would have died!" Rodney felt tears bite the corners of his eyes when that thought came to mind. No. He couldn't imagine that. "She had brain damage!... There was nothing else anyone could do..."

"SHE IS DEAD!" John shook him violently. "YOU KILLED HER!"

"No! No! I saved her! It's just nanites! They'll repair the damage! She'll live now!"

John's glare seared into Rodney's soul. He lowered his voice, but this tone felt like a growl, and it scared Rodney even more than the screaming. "As a monster." He spat. Then bared his teeth. "You know what has to be done now don't you!? What- What I..." Something broke John, who pushed down a lump in his throat as intense sorrow overwhelmed him. He looked off to the side. "have to do..." He shook intensely for a long moment then finally glared back at Rodney at the edge of tears. "To protect us?! To Protect this base!? DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE MAKING ME HAVE TO DO!?" He shoved Rodney down to the ground.

The scientist gasped as the breeze of the wind whipped at his head. He was slightly over the edge now. His head poking out through the exposed window where once was a mosaic window that ran down to the floor. If he wanted all he had to do was turn his head and he could see straight down to the city and water below. Rodney trembled as his fear of heights and his fear of Sheppard possibly pushing him out the window, made his chest swell with anxiety and panic. His already naturally fast heartbeat sounded like it might explode in his ears.

The Colonel knelt over him, clinging once more to his uniform. Tears strung down his face.

"John?..." Rodney's voice was barely above a whisper and the roar of the wind from so high up nearly drowned it out further.

John's tone was quiet and far too calm. "She's a threat now... You made her a threat."

Rodney's eyes widened. "She isn't a replicator! She's Elizabeth! Our Elizabeth! She just has nanites now. It doesn't mean anything. It's still her!" He pleaded, hoping to make him understand, and hopefully fast enough so he'd let him back fully on the floor. His neck was starting to hurt, suspected in the air like this.

John stared down at him. "And what if those nanites turn? What if they don't behave?!"

Rodney gaped at him. "They- they won't..."

"You don't know that."

"I do! Look I know you don't trust me but I'm not an idiot! I made the necessary adjustments to their code! They're harmless!"

"You're right...." John's grip tightened. "I don't trust you."

Rodney stared up at him sadly. "I... John..."

"Kill switch."

"Huh?"

"You said you modified her code. Then make a kill switch. Make it so we can turn them off."

His sadness instantly turned to outrage. "What!? No! That will kill her!"

"I know."

Rodney's eyes widened. "Y-you're.. You're crazy."

John pushed his weight harder on him as he leaned over him intimidatingly. "I wont have her blood on my hands, Rodney. You did this. You'll end it."

"FUCK YOU!" Rodney shook furiously. Any amount of remorse and sadness for not measuring up to the man was gone. All he could feel was hatred and disgust. "I'M NOT KILLING HER! YOU'RE INSANE!" Rodney suddenly began to thrash out under Sheppard. He wanted to get the hell away from him before he killed him also. "GET OFF ME!"

Rodney had some weight behind his movements but his thrashing was in vain, however, as John was expertly trained and a strong soldier. There was no way out.

"What the hell is going on here!?"

The two jumped startled as a group of scientists and engineers entered the floor and saw the pair struggling.

Rodney used his chance and gave the distracted John a hard shove. With the Colonel's weight off him, he momentarily lost balance, but managed to grip the searing hot window frame for support, searing his palm in the process as he pulled himself up. He quickly got to his feet and ran to the transporter. He didn't even care that he forgot his tablet, that had clattered to the floor in the attack. He just wanted to get the hell away from Sheppard and didn't dare look back.

Chapter Text

Rodney beamed back on board the Daedalus. As soon as he materialized, he strode away quickly, determined not to look at anyone. He was teetering on the edge of his breaking point and he just needed to get away from it all. To his frustration, his body was still shaking despite the adrenaline fading. He hoped it wouldn't bring any unwanted attention... And that wasn't even taking into account his burns and bleeding cuts, but he couldn't deal with those right now... He couldn't really handle anything at the moment, to be honest...

Unfortunately, Novak caught sight of him and bounded over with a nervous hiccup and a worried expression. "H-hey, how's Dr. Weir?"

Rodney ground his teeth. "Fine." He answered, but didn't stop. His back already to her as he stalked past.

"Oh, that's-" She paused and frowned as the scientist tried to abandon her. Something was wrong. She could tell by the way he was acting. She then saw his back and her eyes widened. She raced forward determined to catch up. "W-what happened?" Rodney ignored her and said nothing. This made her even more worried and her hiccups increased. McKay always talked. Especially if there was something bad that needed to be complained about. 'What could make him go silent?' She wondered.

When she got up close, she could also see he was shaking. "Hey. Wait!" She reached out and touched his shoulder trying to slow him down as well as be comforting, but as soon as she touched him he jerked from her touch and spun around to face her, stopping abruptly in his tracks, which caused her to accidentally collide into him.

He needed to be alone! He just wanted to be alone! Why can't he have that for a few minutes!? His emotions were everywhere and he just needed a damn minute to process this.

"Leave me alone!" He shouted, which started the nearby crew.

Novak stared up at him stunned. She tensed as she saw the anger in his face and backed away afraid.

Rodney's anger extinguished at her reaction, and his face fell, as he realized what he did. "I-... I..." He couldn't get kicked off this ship or have the crew hate him! This is the last place he had left! His eyes dated to all the stares he received from the crewmates around them, then back to Novak. The eyes... The looks... It was just like the ones he received on Atlantis... His shaking increased as panic built up in his chest. He lowered his chin, stared at the floor and whispered, "I just need to be alone."

With that, he turned away and left his audience behind.

He locked himself in his and Novak's quarters, and sat on his bed, with his back against the wall. Wincing as his skin stung on contact, but the pain fell to the background of his awareness, as he felt swallowed whole in emotions. He lowered his head in his tender hands.

~~~

He didn't know how long he sat there, huddled and staring emptily into the dark. All he knew was the ache and panic in his chest never faded.

There was a voice calling out beyond the door, but it barely perforated his awareness. He wasn't even sure what it was saying, nor did he care to find out, as he focused on his own tumultuous thoughts.

Eventually, the door slid open and the light of the outer hallway crossed his face. He squinted into the light, as a figure approached.

Words were said, questions asked, but they sounded muffled and distant. Everything felt beyond him and out of reach. Disconnected and numb. The world felt slow. He was confused and couldn't concentrate.

What was this?

He felt something touch his shoulder and the world jolted into focus as he scrambled away from the hand. "Don't touch me!" He screamed, as he back peddled from the bed and went as far as he could from the figure, which wasn't far in the tiny claustrophobic room. He huddled into the corner shaking, eyes wide and unseeing.

The man called for someone, concern evident, but the shadows hid his features. A person arrived. More words. More confusion. He didn't like this. He just wanted to be left alone! Why couldn't he be left alone!

He curled in on himself, hiding his face and blocking out his view of the rest of the world.

He felt something touch his neck and he swung his arms wildly at the invader but to no avail, then felt his world swirl and tilt as he fell unconscious.

~~~

He had gone to check on McKay after being informed of his outburst and mood swings. The man was upset and he figured he was beating himself up for not being there for Dr. Weir... What he didn't expect was to see the man wounded, confused and out of it.

Caldwell winced and felt a flicker of pain when the scientist shirked away from him and screamed. The man was unwell and clearly in shock, but it didn't stop Caldwell from feeling responsible and upset that he could cause such a reaction from a civilian. He radioed the doctor and they moved him to the infirmary after he was sedated.

To his reluctance, Caldwell was forced to leave the medical room so she could examine his body and treat his burns and cuts. A part of him needed to stay. Not only to see what had been done to him, but to keep vigil and protect him while he was unconscious, but there was no danger here on his ship, and the doctor insisted that he respect her patient's privacy.

"Hasn't he already been through enough?" She had asked. "There's no need to traumatize and violate him further."

So he stood outside the infirmary wondering what had gone so wrong. McKay was fine an hour ago, then he returns injured, withdrawn, and in terrible shock. What the hell, happened?

Steven felt his body tense and his expression hardened. His fist clenched.

He didn't know, but he was damned sure going to find out.

Chapter Text

Caldwell went down to Atlantis to access the situation. Not just what happened to McKay, but everything. How Dr. Weir was doing and how the security teams were handling any stray Wraith.

"Report Doctor." Caldwell crossed his arms and looked at the young Dr. Keller.

"There has only been a couple of casualties..." She led him over and her eyes drifted to the cots. Michael was restrained by the wrists in his bed, with a patch over an evident bullet hole over his torso.

Caldwell looked up to the sound of struggling and watched as Teyla was putting up a valiant but futile effort against multiple men who held her by the arms and were dragging her away. Before he could ask, Keller continued.

"She wanted to stay with him." She gestured to the Wraith. "But he has influence over her mind and she has freed him in the past." She frowned. "Given Bate's report, he might still be controlling her mind." Caldwell's gaze hardened at the mention of his name, but the Doctor didn't notice as she gazed down at her charts.

"Where is he now?"

"Hm?"

"Bates."

"Oh." She gave an annoyed look. "He should be here in the infirmary, but he insisted his injuries were only minor and that he had a job to do."

"What's the extent of his injuries?" A part of him would relish the chance of forcing the man under infirmary arrest and away from the rest of the personnel for a while.

"I didn't get a chance to properly check him out. It was just him and Teyla who had got into a fight before marines arrived to break them up, so I'm not sure how badly she would have hurt him, to be honest." She shivered. "She's deadly when she wants to be, but she's also very well restrained as well. So it's tough to say." She looked up at him. " As soon as he made sure Michael was restrained and guarded, Bate's left and demanded that Teyla be locked up." Caldwell gave her a look but her attention turned to where Weir was being kept in isolation. Her room was also flanked by soldiers. "Dr. Weir is stable..." She paused and looked uneasy.

He felt the weight of her unspoken words. "But?"

She turned to face him, but she couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Is she not going to make it?"

That seemed to surprise her and she finally looked up at him wide-eyed. "No, no!" She lowered her head. "Medically speaking she perfectly healthy..."

"Is she in a coma?"

"No... But I've kept her sedated for now."

He frowned confused. "Why?"

"Well..." Her eyes slid away. "The nanites..."

"Nanites!?" He looked at her shocked.

The young woman raised her hands defensively. "Look! I didn't know what he was doing, but it really was her only option!"

He was starting to lose patience. "Who? What are you talking about?!"

"Doctor McKay. Dr. Weir had brain damage... She wasn't going to make it, so Rodney messed with her dormant nanites to fix her."

Caldwell closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going to complicate things. Command and the IOA were going to flip.

"I'm a doctor." Keller continued. "I'm not going to do any harm or let anyone else harm my patient. So I have her sedated for her safety. There's no reason to kill her." He opened his eyes as she poked his chest. "And I'm not going to help you if you order me to."

He looked at her taken aback. Sure, he and Weir had disagreements, and she now posed a security risk, but he wasn't going to kill her unless she proved dangerous. And it shocked him that the Atlantis expedition thought he despised her that much to go that far. "I won't go that far unless it's absolutely necessary for the safety of everyone."

"Oh... I just thought since..." Her gaze drifted in thought but whatever it was she was thinking she didn't finish that sentence.

But he had to ask given these measures... His face hardened. "Is that why she's sedated?... Have the replicators taken her over?"

"No. Not that I've seen."

He paused for a moment as he let the situation and her condition sink in. He tried to think of what to do.

"Has she regained consciousness at any point? Does she seem to be herself?"

"She awoke briefly... She seemed fine." She tilted her head. She even accepted and understood why I had to sedate her when I explained to her what was going on."

"Good." He nodded to himself. She understands she's a security risk... He looked back at the doctor. "I'd like you to share your findings with my doctor."

The young doctor frowned taking offense.

He raised his hands to appease her. "I don't want any doubts or biases to potentially cloud judgments. If you're absolutely 100 percent certain she's in control share your findings with my doctor. If everyone agrees on the findings we'll awaken her under heavy guard and go from there." He decided.

Keller paused then nodded. It was a better option than leaving her sedated or in a medically induced coma or frozen in stasis for the foreseeable future. And miles better than what Sheppard wanted.

~~~

Caldwell checked in with Atlantis's security teams. The wraith had seemingly been dealt with, but to his surprise, there were reports of Asurans that had also made their way onto Atlantis during the fight. He wasn't sure how that happened, but there were guesses that it may have occurred during the brief moment the shield had collapsed.

Stranger yet, these Asuran's had freely given themselves up and apparently were asking for asylum. Something about ascension and not being like the others. He wouldn't know what to make of it until he met them himself, but the whole thing sounded bizarre. If this was a dream it sure was a long and uncomfortable one.

As of now, he left Sheppard's rarely used office and noticed a group of Atlantis expedition members staring at him around the corner of the hall.

He had noticed the congregation several times during his rounds but didn't know what to make of it.

His eyes slid away from the scientists and he began to walk in the opposite direction. He heard the team's footsteps behind him and he paused midstride. The group stopped right behind him. So close he could feel their breath on his neck. He turned and raised an eyebrow at his follower.

"Can I help you?"

Most of the group seemed timid and nervous. The person he took as the head of the group glanced around at the nearby military and pointedly at Sheppard's office for a moment then looked back at Caldwell. They had been hoping to wait for a moment alone with the Colonel but had no such luck.

"We..." The person paused eyes sliding back at the office, then at the Colonel.

The Colonel finally took the hint and motioned for the group to follow. "What are your names?" He asked, trying to ease the tension of his companions as they walked.

The group whispered to each other. They were still nervous about being so close to the marines, and they weren't sure if they should give away their identities, but chances where their army co-workers already recognized them from so many years working together. Among the group, Doctors Kusanagi and Coleman looked at their leader for their decision. Their leader gave in and turned to look at Caldwell. "Raven Oceana, Sir."

"Dana San." Said another.

He stopped at the vacant room he used as his own office and beckoned them inside. "Nice to meet you all." Caldwell tried for pleasantries and sat down at his desk then motioned for his companions to have a seat as well, but realized there weren't enough chairs for all of them. Thankfully it didn't matter as several refused anyway. Finally alone, they instead paced in anxious annoyance.

"We weren't sure who else we could report this to." Dr. Kusanagi babbled afraid.

Raven's face hardened and stated annoyed, "Given it being Colonel Sheppard and all."

Caldwell ground his teeth but didn't interrupt the tirade that was bubbling up from his visitors.

"My team was assigned two levels down from the control room." Raven started, with a furious shake. "And when we got there we found the Colonel on top of Dr. McKay!"

Miko finally sat down shakily and voice broken. "He was struggling and yelling and they were right next to a ledge and I swear I thought the Colonel was trying to kill him!"

Coleman sat beside her and wrapped her arms around her trying to comfort her as the young scientist buried her head in her shoulder sobbing. Coleman didn't want to admit it in from of Miko, but Caldwell had to know. "We tried to call McKay's radio but we haven't got a response." Miko sobbed louder fearing the worst.

Caldwell quickly raised his hands, realizing the group must have had no clue of his current condition. "He's alive. He's on the Daedalus getting treatment." There was a collective sigh of relief from the group and Miko's thanks were muffled against Coleman's shoulder.

Raven turned to face him and placed their hands on his desk, their voice stern. "Something has to be done about Sheppard!"

Caldwell raised his hand trying to stop and slow down their erratic speech, but he himself felt the boiling righteous anger returning. He needed to steady himself for just a while longer before he let himself do something he admittedly wouldn't regret.

"Start from the beginning and don't leave out any details."

Miko was too devastated for her leader to speak about it and Coleman was busy with her, so Dr. Dana San took a deep breath and began to explain.

He jotted down notes as best he could as the man's vision blurred and he saw red. By the time it was done they where both still riled up.

"You're going to hurt him right? Tell me young going to put that punk in his place!?" Raven demanded.

"I'll handle it." He promised. His eyes were stern and determined as he arose from his seat. "Thank you all." He went to the door then paused and turned back to them. He felt so sorry for them. None of this should be happening to them or anyone for that matter. "If any of you are worried about coming forward and don't feel safe in your own quarters, you may stay on my ship for the time being until this is sorted."

Miko finally looked up from her sobs. That was were her leader was. She wanted to go and see him.

Caldwell grip tightened on the door handle. At this rate, his ship was going to be full of Atlantis refugees. With Weir unavailable to lead in her situation and now Sheppard's behavior fully unchecked, he had to find the man and get this straightened out now before things only got worse.

He radioed the Daedalus and had a group of his crew beam down to guard them for their protection. He didn't know if they really needed it. To be honest it felt a little bit like witness protection but it was better to make the group feel safe given everything that was going on as well as aid and follow those who needed to claim some items from their rooms before transferring to the Daedalus.

He then radioed Sheppard, demanding to know his location and stormed his way towards the Control Tower.

~~~

What greeted him continued to stun him. Sheppard had rounded up the Asurans and the now awakened Dr. Weir and had made them converge on the gate.

Caldwell arrived just in time to see Weir look back for a long moment, before turning back to the gate. She took a deep breath then resolutely stepped through.

Caldwell immediately went up to the gate DHD where Sheppard stood with an empty distant look. Chuck was a few steps behind looking ill.

"What are you doing!? Where did you send them!?" Caldwell demanded.

Sheppard said nothing and Caldwell's eyes turned to the address that faded from the computer. He looked at Chuck and in as calmly as he could, lowered his voice, as shook. He annunciated slowly, trying to get through the technician's shock. "Where. Did. He. Send. Them?"

"Nowhere..." Chuck's eyes were filled with sorrow for Dr. Weir. "It was a space gate." He gulped. "In the middle of nowhere."

Chapter Text

Sheppard was quiet. A slight look of mourning on his face. He felt numb. Like a void had swallowed him whole. 'It had to be done.' He reminded himself. The words echoed in his mind but filled him with no comfort. No satisfaction. It was just a cold empty truth.

The look on Sheppard's face appeared like self-pity in Steven's mind and that disgusted him. Caldwell sneered and grabbed Sheppard by the shoulders and shoved him against the wall. It took all of his restraint not to go further. "YOU MURDERED YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER!" He barked in his face, trying to pull Sheppard from his detachment.

The Colonel in his grasp took a few seconds to even notice the action, and by then he was glaring at him. When Caldwell spoke the words, John winced and bit back the pain and heavy guilt in his chest.

"Someone had to make the call. They were all threats to this city." His eyes scanned the room, looking at the others, then stared back up at Caldwell. "We don't want to admit it but," He lowered his head. "She was."

"We don't know that!"

"We know what the Replicators are capable of!"

"We could have found other options! You had no right to just decide her execution!"

"I had every right!" John yelled back shaking. He looked away and lowered his voice. "No one else could do it. It had to be me. I'm in charge. It made it my responsibility."

Caldwell raised his fist and nearly hit him. Instead, he punched the wall next to the other man's head. The crowd that watched flinched at the sound that reverberated off the wall.

He really wanted to hit him. Needed to. But he couldn't.

Instead, Caldwell lowered his head closer to Sheppard.

"I won't stoop to your level." He hissed in his ear then backed up enough to look him down and in the eyes, and raised his voice. "You can go and play god with your own life in your hands." He ground his teeth. "But I won't let you play god with everyone else's."

He straightened himself and now looked to address everyone in the control room.

"Stargate Command was made to save people. To free people from their corrupt leaders and would-be gods. To save people from tyranny and unnecessary bloodshed."

He looked around the room then back to Sheppard. "Stargate Command is about options. About a better way. No matter how difficult or how impossible it seems. We rise above." He turned away from Sheppard. He didn't want to look at the man anymore but he knew he'd have to. This wasn't over.

"And if we can't act any better than our enemies... What does that make us?..." His eyes gazed around the room. "Right now we have to look to ourselves, our own system and leaders. We have to be better, or everything we've worked for, everything we fought for, believed in, and preached will all be for nothing." He lowered his head and gestured to the gate. "I won't let all the men and women who sacrificed themselves for our beliefs be in vain and I hope you won't either."

He turned back to Sheppard. "Colonel John Sheppard. I hereby place you under arrest where you will await court marshal. I suggest you don't resist."

Chapter Text

Several hours after the group of scientists had finished packing what few essentials they could bring, word had spread through the small community of Sheppard's arrest, alongside several others of the higher military ranks.

The hallways outside the cells were mayhem. Everyone had mixed opinions on the matter.

A large assortment of the Atlantis military was rioting for their Colonel's release.

Some of those that had known about what had happened with Weir where relieved, while others were on Sheppard's side that if he hadn't done what he had done they'd be overrun by Replicators.

Others were pissed and thought Caldwell was just trying to claim authority and had organized a hostile takeover. This idea wasn't helped any when soldiers from the Daedalus were used to kept watch of the cells and push back the sea of people.

All in all, the city was in chaos mode.

So yeah, the gang of three scientists that were ready to ditch noped out of there as soon as they could and made their way to get situated on the Daedalus.

~~~

Unfortunately, there were only two open cots on the bunk beds left in Novak and McKay's room, so the gang had to rock paper scissors for it.

"I'm sorry." Miko bowed her head when Coleman lost.

The scientist sighed and placed her sheets on the floor. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure this all will calm down soon enough and we'll be able to safely return to our own rooms soon enough."

"Let's just think of this as a sleepover!" Novak tried with a grin, hoping to cheer the women up.

"Yeah, a cramped, stuffy sleepover, where we breathe in each other's recycled oxygen in a tin can with no way to open the windows," Raven muttered grumpily, as she looked down at the others on her bunk bed.

"Um..." Novak blinked then hiccuped nervously. "Well, that's one way to look at it... But if you're all feeling claustrophobic on the ship, how about a tour then?"

As she opened the door Miko jumped close behind her. "Can we see Dr. McKay?"

"He's in the infirmary resting." The disappointed look in Miko's face made Vovak feel guilty and she quickly waved it off. "B-but uh... I- I guess it wouldn't hurt?"

The Japanese scientist lite up excitedly and quickly urged her to take them to him.

~~

Miko had practically gone insane with worry, as soon as she saw his condition. The woman had peered closely as his burns, demanded any and all knowledge from the doctor, who only told them he's fine, as she couldn't go into specifics with them, and then the scientist paced like mad around the infirmary rambling off in Japanese for a solid three minutes.

Coleman and Raven peered behind the others quietly keeping towards the back, and out of their younger ones warpath.

"Uh..." Novak glanced at the other two. "Is she going to be okay?"

Before the two could speak, Miko raised a finger and said something to them they couldn't understand, but it seemed like some sort of eureka moment by the way the girl's eyes lit up, followed by a mad grin.

The three stared at her for a second, before the woman was rushing out the infirmary. The others looked at each other confused.

It wasn't hard to find where the scientist had run off too. A clash of silverware, trays, and the banging of opening and closing drawers echoed the halls.

The group found Miko riffling through the caffeteria. She had the determined look of a woman on a mission, as she mumbled more to herself.

"Miko?" Coleman cleared her throat.

The woman barely glanced up before chatting away in her native language as she continued her task.

"English. Miko. English." Raven tried to get through to her.

"Ice cream!" The woman shouted in triumph.

Novak seemed very confused. "I-I guess-" She winced as a pan went tumbling to the floor, pushed aside in the search for the perfect bowl. "Caldwell won't mind..."

Raven frowned. "Miko, dear... I hate to break it you, but this is a military vessel." She dodged a can that was tossed in her direction and huffed. "I don't think they'd have ice cream."

"We'll make it!" Miko announced proudly as she showed off her prize. A large sack of dehydrated milk. Coleman made a face.

"Um... I don't see why we're having ice cream?" Novak blinked. "I mean. That sounds delicious and all but..." She glanced at the other two and whispered. "Is she having a breakdown?"

Raven shook her head. "This is normal. She just gets crazy about food." She looked to Novak and Coleman and whispered, "Also she becomes a bit of a tyrant whenever she's in a kitchen... We should probably go before she starts ordering us around."

Miko didn't hear her but answered Novak's original question. "Ice cream will help burn, yes!? Burn's need cold things!" The woman rambled as the other three watched the woman get a pitcher and filled it with water to turn the powdered milk into regular milk.

"Uh... I don't think that'll help." Coleman replied warily.

Miko pulled found a huge bag to make the ice cream in. Raven rolled her eyes at the size. Given both Miko's way of overindulging and constantly remaking things to perfection, they were bound to end up with hundreds of pounds of ice cream by the time she was satisfied. "Yes, let's cure burns with diabetes. Makes perfect sense."

Miko shoved the bag at her. "Put ice in this."

Raven looked down at the bag, then after a moment sighed and reluctantly did as she was told, but she sure wasn't going to do it happily. She looked at the other two and mouthed, 'told you so' and 'you better run while you still can'.

She glanced to the side at Miko as she shoveled in ice cubes. "We better be making enough for all of us and not just your 'honourable leader'."

"Of course." Miko waved her off the snapped her fingers and pointed to Coleman and Novak. "Find some vanilla extract and sugar." She ordered. Coleman did so without complaint. When Miko noticed Novak hadn't moved she looked to her and added. "You should know where everything is on this ship, yes? Well, help her."

Novak blanched. She was so going to get in so much trouble for this if they used up all the ship's reserves.

"Novak?!"

She winced as the short scientist demanded compliance. She hiccuped and stood to attention. "Y-yes, Ma'am. The ingredients are over here..."

Chapter Text

The next few weeks were troublesome for Caldwell, as mounting hostilities grew between the two military groups. So far nothing too bad had occurred, but Steven could feel the tensions growing.

As soon as he could, when the Apollo was in between galaxies, he had radioed Earth and informed Stargate Command of the new developments that had occurred with Dr. Weir's passing and Colonel Sheppard's arrest. Now everyone awaited the Apollo's return to Earth and their subsequent departure with the IOA representatives that would oversee the condition of the military on Atlantis.

Dr. McKay had recovered and was eager to get back to work after being overwhelmed by well-meaning scientists during his rest. Just several days before, Caldwell had glanced in the infirmary to find the man surrounded by a gang of scientists eating ice cream and gossiping about things that had happened since his departure from the city.

Currently, Caldwell had just entered the cells after being radioed by one of his men that guarded them, that a prisoner had wished to make a deal with him. It was not the prisoner he had expected.

"You're not Sheppard."

Caldwell crossed his arms, as he entered the room. "Sorry to disappoint you."

The hybrid peered at him with an evaluating gaze, before leaning back cooly on his cot nonchalant. "No matter. This is probably for the best."

Ronon, who was carefully guarding the Wraith's cage, kept glaring at the man the whole time with a look that made perfectly clear that he wanted to kill him as soon as possible. At Michael's last statement, he somehow looked even more pissed.

Caldwell glanced at Ronon's predatory unease. He had a look that communicated 'you better not believe anything he has to say.' He then looked back to the hybrid. "Get to the point."

"You and I both want the Wraith war to end. I have the means to achieve that end."

"And we're just supposed to take your word on this?" Ronon growled.

Michael ignored the brute's gaze and kept his focus on the man in charge. "You can't trust me and I can't trust you. So I guess we have that in common." When the Colonel seemed unamused, Michael's eyes slid away and added, "I have labs scattered all over the galaxy that already show promise."

"And where would these labs happen to be?"

Michael's gaze returned to his captor and squinted hard at him. "I can't just tell you where they are. You might take the research for yourselves, then kill me."

Ronon bared his teeth. "Does it look like you have any better options right now?"

"Maybe not." Michael shrugged. "But living in here seems to be a lot better than being murdered by replicators with everyone else right now."

Ronon made a grunted noise of disbelief that Michael would be content with that.

"I won't give up my lab addresses. I have to put them in myself."

"That's not going to happen."

Ronon turned his attention to Caldwell, "This is a waste of time! We should just kill him now!"

Caldwell raised a hand signaling Ronon to stop for a moment. He then looked down at Michael. "Perhaps we can work something else out..."

"Such as?"

"A way to slowly build trust?" Caldwell paused. "You don't have to give us your lab addresses, but give us some other useful intel and we'll make that cell of yours a little more livable and have some scientists work with you here for now." Ronon was about to protest when Caldwell continued. "Theoretically, of course. You'll have no access to equipment until trust is earned."

Michael was quiet for a moment.

"How about this..." The hybrid sat up and leaned forward. "I'll tell you where there's an Ancient outpost..."

~~~

His feet took him to the transporters.

The Colonel wasn't sure about the hybrid's deal, but the Wraith had given him an address as a means to earn some trust. He was suspicious that it may be a trap, but hopefully, a MALP would tell. The thought reminded him that that was just another thing he had disagreed with Sheppard on mission procedures. The past head staff rarely (if ever) used MALPs because apparently, they were boring to use. Caldwell rolled his eyes at the thought.

If all the scans went well though, he'd have to send a team... He felt a sort of swell of emotion at the thought.

He quickly shook his head, clearing the idea from his mind.

He couldn't get carried away. Maybe he shouldn't even follow through with the MALP either. Maybe it was best to just put the whole thing on hold until the IOA arrived and proper leadership got sorted?...

It was going to be a long few weeks, however... And the departments were antsy... And he was temporarily in charge...

Would a mission help morale?

It wouldn't get their minds off of their Colonel arrested, but it could at least give them something to do...

Caldwell took a deep breath in thought, then gazed out over the control room when he arrived.

It felt strange and out of place. Unreal and unearned.

He was acting in the position that he had wanted for some time now, but it was unfortunate how he had received it. He also knew it was temporary. He didn't know if the IOA would ever appoint a military leader over a new civilian leader. Honestly, he wasn't even sure there was going to be an Atlantis military branch at all at this point with how much of the rules and codes of conduct were constantly disregarded out here.

Everything wasn't under the best of circumstances, but when had it ever been?

Chapter Text

He's eating in Atlantis' cafeteria when he's radioed, "Colonel Caldwell." Chuck calls.

He tapped his comms. "Yes?"

"The Apollo will be arriving in orbit within half an hour."

"I'll be right there." He furrows his brow confused.

That was odd. How did they arrive so soon? It should have taken weeks to...

He shakes his head, as he lets the feeling of something wrong go. He's seen much weirder things and miracles happen in both galaxies to think ships arriving early should be anything special. Maybe Earth has made improvements to the engines?

He could only hope as much.

As it was, Daedalus' glorified bus stops too and from Earth were a lifeline to Atlantis' supplies. Not only did they fail to receive goods from Earth on their last rout, when they had to turn back Earth because of the Replicator threat, but now with more mouths to feed with his crew stuck on Atlantis for who knows how long, food was starting to dwindle.

Off-world trades had kept the base's personnel decently fed, but now things were slowing down. Whether it be harvest seasons or the fact they only had so much to trade in the first place without Daedulus getting them more things as well.

Overall, many might not have even noticed an issue in the first place. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary that is until the Deadulus crew had to start eating from Atlantis' cafeterias instead of its own.

Caldwell was a bit worried about how exactly they were going to make the trip back to Earth at this point without many non-perishable goods they could take. Off-world fresh fruits only lasted so long...

But the fact Apollo was at their doorstep was a huge weight off Caldwell's shoulders. They'd have brought a lot of supplies with them surely. There wouldn't be a problem.

As he arises from his seat. His chair scraping against the ground, causing McKay to look up from his tablet. He glances at him, then his tray pointedly. He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't have to. Caldwell pushes it towards him letting the doctor have his leftovers. As he starts picking through the remains, Kavanagh, sitting next to him, gives him a gross, disturbing look.

Caldwell blinks down at Rodney, feeling sympathetic. Although the doctor wouldn't admit it, he was having a hard time adjusting to being back in the city. He'd find him working easily by himself in some distant dormant lab, and sometimes even with a couple of his closest minions and he'd be the same McKay he'd always been. Barking orders at people as if he'd never left, but as soon as he'd enter a crowded, more public room, he'd look for the exit as if claustrophobic no matter the size of the room.

This wasn't helped by the building 'this' versus 'them' mentality of the Atlantis crew vs the Daedulus crew. Many of the expedition had started considering him a traitor, now that he was a part of Caldwell's crew. The Daedulus uniform he wore didn't help matters.

The worst room was the cafeteria. Both the expedition and the Daedulus crew seemed to sit on opposite sides of the room, divided by an invisible line. McKay had ostracized himself to a corner, eyes towards the wall and away from the looks of betrayal of the Atlantis personnel behind him. He couldn't bring himself to cross the room into Atlantis territory where the food sat and usually relied on other people to bring him food. Typically, Dr. Kusanagi or some of the other more kind scientists, but for some reason, Caldwell noted, none of them had shown up today. Perhaps busy with an experiment or something...

Caldwell paused. The passage of time... Again... How long had it been? He knew these things and had seen these observations as if they happened over the expanse of weeks but...

But why did it feel like no time had passed?...

Why did it feel like he's wondered these same exact things multiple times but had no actual recollection of them?

As if time was missing, but bits and pieces of facts leaked through.

He feels sweat roll down his temple and raises a hand to his forehead.

Since when did he have a fever?

"You're going to get whatever he has." Peter continues to McKay. Disgust heavy in his tone.

McKay glances over at him with something akin to annoyance and lessening patience. "We all already do, remember?" McKay shakes his head then picks at his food with a sigh. "Of course you don't."

Caldwell's brow furrows. What's that supposed to-

Before he can think too hard, his concentration is shattered.

There's a clang of a dropped tray in the cafeteria. He looks over to see an altercation between Stevens, (whose Lorens XO), and Major Marks. "Where do you think you're going?" Stevens asks.

Major Marks swoops up to collect his tray and puts it back on the dirty stack beside the door. He looks beyond the man.

It's only now Caldwell realizes the exits are guarded. What?... Why?... When did that happen?...

"Out." Marks tries to side-step the solid man wall in front of him, but Stevens steps before him again.

"Get back to your seat."

Caldwell leaves the table and heads towards them. He doesn't see McKay behind him push the tray away slightly to make room to lay his arm on the table in front of him and reaches for his pocket, bringing up a black marker.

Peter wrinkles his nose at Rodney. "You're so weird." He mumbles.

"What's going on here?" Caldwell demands.

"He's not staying put, sir," Stevens replies as if that made perfect sense. He turns his attention back to Marks. "You have to stay here. You can't leave the cafeteria."

Before Caldwell can demand an explanation, someone arises from their seat behind him, "We don't need your permission to do anything!" From the direction of the room, the challenge came from it was clearly someone from his crew.

Another one of his engineers arises. "Yeah, who are you to say we can't leave! We can go wherever we damn well, please! You don't own this city!"

There's an abrupt clamor of outrage from both sides of the room. Everyone yelling at once, Caldwell can barely make out individual voices.

"This is OUR city! You're just guests!" Some Atlantis member shouts.

"Were only stuck here to clean your mess!" Another Daedulus member shouts.

Some of the scientists look pained. "Do you guys realize your all taking our mission!?"

"They're going to recall us!"

"Were all going to be court marshaled!"

Voices get panicked.

"Everyone! Calm down!" Steven orders but the room is too loud. Too noisy. Too chaotic...

It's only now Caldwell realizes everyone looks so... Sweaty, red-faced and disheveled...

Its a sea of confused and hysterical people. He wants to do something but no matter how loud he yells no one hears him. It's like he's not even there... He tries the radio to order reinforcements but no one can understand him on the radio. It doesn't matter, reinforcements come anyway.

Caldwell's arm is shaken and he looks to see who was trying to get his attention. It was Loren. He had just arrived and was leaning against the door. The man is popping pills like candy. Caldwell frowns confused.

"Sir, the Apollo has arrived." He beckons Caldwell to follow.

Steven blinks. "Oh... Right." He turns back to the crowd, seeing the two groups start pushing each other.

McKay blocks his vision as he arrives beside the men. There's something in his eyes and expression that he can't decipher, nor does he have the time too, as they're led away by Loren and let past the cafeterias guards.

The sound dies down as the doors close behind them.

In minutes Caldwell is standing in the control room, looking down in front of the gate, waiting for the Apollo to beam their occupants.

The last moments in the cafeteria feel lost on his mind. Foggy but real. He shakes his head. He doesn't feel well. He reaches up and feels his forehead. He pulls back his fingers and rubs the sweat in between them.

When did he start having a fever, he wonders?

The thought scatters, as soon as light fills the gate room and in a flash, three people stand below them.

Camile Wray, Richard Woolsey, and Colonel Carter.

McKay tenses beside him, catching Caldwell's peripherals. He looks unwell. He isn't even breathing.

"Dr. McKay?"

Rodney gives him a quick uneasy glance for barely even a millisecond before his eyes are back on Carter. There's a question there, but he's not brave enough to ask it.

Caldwell has started to notice this behavior as well... Though like before he can't remember when, where or how he noticed it.

He reaches over and gives a quick little squeeze around his wrist. The act surprises both men, but Caldwell quickly dismisses the action and just accepts it. "It's okay. She's real." He whispers.

McKay lets out his breath and calms somewhat but not fully. He quickly leaves his grasp and takes down the steps more portraying nervousness than the confidence the scientist had likely hoped to portray.

"Carter? What are you doing here?" Rodney demands jittery and awkward.

"Nice to see you too, McKay."

Rodney raises a hand and brushes the comment in the air away. "Yes, yes, hello."

Sam smiles briefly, unperturbed by the scientist's rudeness and odd behavior. amused by the scientist's behavior.

Caldwell fell into step with the group. "Colonel."

"Colonel." Carter greeted back.

McKay rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"

Camile answers the question. "It seemed in our best interest," She looks to Caldwell when she says that, "that we should have an impartial third party, high ranking and highly respected military presence to oversee court matters and inspect military codes."

Woolsey cleared his throat. "Yes, Colonel Carter seemed to be the best choice for being so renowned and trusted by both the military and civilian scientists alike."

Calwell gives Carter an appreciative nod. "Your help is very much appreciated."

She smiles back at him. "Happy to be here."

The group begins to file up the stairs, just as Caldwell's radio crackles. "Sir." It was Loren's voice. Caldwell blinks. When did Loren leave? He never saw him go?

"Go ahead."

The sound of clashes can be heard over the radio. "The situation in containment is getting worse."

Right. How did Caldwell almost forget? He looks to several marines that guard the gate room and nods. They leave their posts. "Sending more your way, Major."

"What's going on?" Wray asks.

"A scuffle in the cafeteria."

"Well, no time like the present." Wray continues. "Let's see what work we have cut out for us."

~~~

"This is a lot more than a scuffle," Wray notes, dryly.

The cafeteria is even more chaotic and messy than what little he remembers when he originally left it. There's the shatter of glass as people throw plates.

Mr. Woolsey is aghast. "This is unacceptable!"

"Yeah. Try telling them that." Loren replied dryly from his post at the door. McKay notes he's popping more pills. Didn't- ...Wasn't he doing that earlier?... Should he write that down... Has he written that down already? He wonders.

The guards at the door are pushing people back, refusing them from leaving. It looks like what one would see with police in a riot.

Someone stumbles in the middle and collapses.

"Katie!" Rodney yelps and pushes past the marines. Carter springs to action and quickly follows concerned.

"McKay!" Loren barks but the scientist ignored him.

Rodney crouches over Katie trying to prevent her from being trampled on, as he instead gets smacked around instead. Carter is hovering over them both. Her eyes are closed and she looks pale and sweaty.

"Katie." Rodney gently shakes her trying to wake her. When she doesn't move he shakes her more roughly. "Katie!"

Sam bends down, ignoring the shoves to her body. "McKay!" She tries to speak over the commotion. "We should-" Before she could suggest picking her up, the woman's eyes spring open.

"O-oh, Katie." Rodney breaths out relieved though it's not enough to quiet his urgency in this situation. His voice quickens in panic. "A-are you okay? What happened? Come on, we need to get you up before you're trampled to death!"

She shakes her head squinting. "I-I'm fine... I think?" She then blinks up at him.

Rodney and Sam share concerned looks as they both take one side and heave her up.

"Who are-" Her eyes narrow confused at Rodney. "Who are you?"

He freezes like a deer in headlights.

"Katie, it's me. Rodney."

Nothing. No recognition. Her face is blank for a moment, then shifts to fear that something is wrong. Really, wrong. "G-get off me!" She pushes and thrashes her body trying to get out of their grip.

Camile looks to Colonel Caldwell. "What the hell is going on here?"

He shakes his head and genuinely replies, "I don't know... I really don't know."

Chapter Text

Everything next was a blur of forgotten memories lost to fever and sickness.

Rodney only remembers snippets.

The group went to see the doctor. A sick and tired Keller informed and reminded them of the mutated Kirsan fever strain that their new home had infected them with after Atlantis had been relocated after the attack.

Vague memories of when he worked with Carter. They set something up as Ronon and Teyla left Atlantis to get what was needed.

The moon above him in his lab, hanging in the sky, like a beacon. The room looked bleary through the sweat that dripped off his brow, down his red hot cheeks. A tablet. A picture. A message. Of what? He couldn't remember.

Then suddenly he was running through the halls, panting with sweat gleaming off him and his dark pen-marked arms. The sounds of angry yells as angry military chase him through the city as he kept on hiding.

All the while, he felt a pang of heavy guilt. Haunted with the vague sense of knowing that he was supposed to do something immensely important to everyone. If only he could remember what it was. He was sure that all this suffering was somewhat prolonged by him not doing the thing he was supposed to be doing and it was making him sick.

Well... feel sicker than how he was already sick.

...He was sick... Right?...

He felt like that was something he really should know and be certain of. Hypochondria filled his chest. Why wasn't he sure?...

Someone patted his arm. Another runner in hiding, perhaps? He wasn't sure. Nor did he remember their name... Hell, he couldn't remember his own name either, so whatever name his companion had clearly didn't matter at this point. The person taking the led peered around a door and kept motioning him on.

He glances through the same door as they snuck past, and saw rows and rows of cots, with the sick and dying. More guilt.

Suffering... Suffering and death... He should be doing something... It only he could remember.

At some point, as they move from place to place in a city surrounded by an ocean, he catches a glimpse of himself on a reflective surface of a handrail and looks down at himself. He peers at the scribbles of black marker, dotted and dribbled in sweat on his arms. He pulls up his shirt and sees the cryptic messages sprawled there too, on every expanse of skin left visible.

These... These must be important.

He reads and tries to remember.

---

A button.

A single damn button press was all it took.

...Okay maybe not all... He had to wait for Ronon and Teyla to get the supplies, but still.

Man... If only he had handcuffed himself to his lab...

Though... That posed other what if's, such as what if the angry crazy military mob druggies got to him in such a predicament... So... Maybe it was for the best...

Either way... Even that thought didn't help his guilt. This would all have been done sooner... So much less... pain... and death...

He gazed out over an ocean balcony, where peaceful waters lapped gently at the sides of the pier...

Wondering how many won't see the sunrise again.

He knew he shouldn't blame himself. He didn't cause the fever. He also didn't cause Loren and Bates to lock up Teyla and not believe her claims about the sickness which cost even more time. These things were all beyond his control after all.

But what he could blame himself for, were those few precious hours it had taken for Ronon to find him. Hours people grew sicker and weaker. All to get him safely to his lab just to push a single damn button would haunt his sleep for a while.

One rational part of his brain still said it wasn't. That he was sick too... But... He still couldn't shake the guilt. He should have tried harder. Locked himself in his lab. Sealed it tight! Something! Or hell made a code that triggered automatically when it was ready or made a sensory. Something! Anything other than what he did! Sure, he had limited time as his mind slipped, but he was a genius! He should have done better!

He wouldn't dare ask Keller to tell him how many had perished from the disease during that timeframe. He was a coward and he knew it and it made him feel worse. His mind made educated guesses of death tolls... (Well, as best as it could. He wasn't a medical doctor after all.) It made him feel all the more pained. An unknown variable can be anything and that variable being death was pure torture. But he couldn't muster the courage. He just couldn't.

He almost wished he'd get a lecture right now. To feel some sort of consequence for his accidental inaction. Instead, he heard nothing. People were busy dealing with the sick and the dead. Not to mention preparing for the coming trials.

It only made him feel all the more terrible that he was making a pandemic all about himself and his feelings of guilt.

He leaned against the railing, gazing below, as the moon reflected off the waves below. Shimmering and glinting in the darkness.

It wasn't so long ago he could have fallen into those waters and have been swallowed whole. Nearly three times in fact.

His fingers traced the scar upon his arm where Koyla's men had cut when they tortured him during the storm. Remembering Koyla pushing him up against the railing as the rain pelted them. The fear Koyla might throw him off in his anger and Dr. Weir kept pushing him to lie and delay the very angry and hostile man.
The next time being when the broken jumper plunging into those depths...
Then last... Sheppard...

So many times he had escaped death when others had not.

Was he lucky? He wondered. Or was this the universe's way of constantly punishing him for his very existence...

Chapter Text

Sheppard stared at the conference table, pointedly refusing to look up at Colonel Caldwell, the IOA reps or Colonel Carter, as the women read through the charges before him.

"Article 88. Contempt toward officials."

Wray looked to Caldwell and the man started to speak but Sheppard tuned it out. He didn't care to participate in this charade. It wasn't like they would really do anything to him. UCMJ articles could keep flying from their mouths for all they wanted, but at some point, their words had gotten mostly lost and numb to John's ears as it droned on and on, catching only bits and pieces. He didn't care to hear it. He knew, in the end, it was all pointless dribble. The IOA liked to mouth off mighty fine to pretend they were the hotshots on campus but they rarely 'if ever' followed through on threats. Preferring their desk lives to actually taking responsibility for anything in the galaxy beyond what paperwork was directly under their snotty noses. Once they got it out of their system, they go back to Earth and leave him and his city the hell alone. At least, until they needed to get on their high horse again, whenever that would be.

"Article 93. Cruelty and maltreatment."

He knew until they left, he had to keep some semblance of control. Even if he doubted the IOA would do anything, there was still the ever-present threat of whoever would be put in charge of the expedition now and what they might do to him. As it was, it was so-so hard not to push up out of his seat and vehemently deny everything. It was easier not to lash out if he refused to pay attention with all his might and keep ignoring their voices. The only thing he needed to do was say 'No Ma'am' or 'Yes. Ma'am'. It was the most they were going to get out of him in this farce.

"Article 117. Provoking speeches or gestures."

A part of him still had to wonder though, if the only reason he wasn't fighting back too hard was out of some misplaced guilt for Elizabeth's- No! He knew that was McKay's fault! He just... Just blamed himself for not stopping McKay or forcing him to reverse it... Yeah... That was probably it.

"Article 128. Assault."

He knew without a doubt that everything he had done was for everyone's safety. He was sure of it. He was also sure Carter would understand. She had been out there. Surely she'd make impossible calls as well. How many perished in that solar system that must have died without a Sun and all, he wondered?

"Article 133. Conduct unbecoming of an officer or gentlemen."

The room was closed around them, leaving the outside world unable to watch, though he was sure many of his men would be waiting outside, hoping for good news that wouldn't come. And he knew they too had their own hearing to get through.
If they thought he'd feel caged in with this private affair they were wrong. After all, this wasn't his first rodeo or his first black mark. At the thought, his mind wandered to thoughts of his time flying the great expanse of Antarctica. They threw him there last time when they wanted to get rid of him. He wondered what would happen this time. It's not like there were many choices. He knew too much and had too dark and blemished of a record to be accurately believed by people who didn't know him that he wouldn't be a leak risk to the public, so where did that leave him?...

"Article 118." Wray's voice paused as John's hearing suddenly sharpened and heard it clear as a bell, unlike the other charges. His breath unconsciously held. All three of their pairs of eyes were on him. He refused to look, but he could see their reflections, blurrily splayed upon the table's surface. Caldwell's gaze was piercing. Wray's expression was hard to read. Probably a skill all IOA mastered at some point. Carter's blue eyes were searching and probably pitiful if he had to guess.

John's ears rang, and his body felt numb as the IOA woman continued. Her voice unchanging, despite the fact its words changed everything in his life and in so many others, "For the murder of Dr. Elizabeth Weir."

The silence in the room could swallow him whole.

Suddenly, a burst of sound as Sheppard arose from his chair, it's back legs scratching against the floor. His eyes filled with fury. "She was already dead! She wasn't Elizabeth anymore! It was a replicator! And she was a security risk! She understood that! She went through willingly!"

"If Weir was dead, Colonel... And was a replicator... Why would she have done that?"

"Because..."

"Because... What?"

"......."

Chapter Text

Caldwell peered at Carter behind Weir's- her desk. "So, how does it feel? Being in charge?" He knew it was probably too soon to ask such a question. She had only just been given Command since yesterday's trial of Sheppard, but still, he didn't want to talk about him, (at all, if ever again, if preferable.)

"Oh, you know? Big chair to fill... Everyone's nice but... We all know I'm no Dr. Weir..."

There was a heavy silence as the two looked down.

"You know... McKay keeps asking if we could take the Daedalus out to the space gate." Caldwell said quietly and Carter nodded.

"I know... He's also asked me to let a puddle jumper get her."

"Do you think..." He hesitated then asked the painful question. "She really could have survived? And if she is, would she be..." conscious? He wanted to know but couldn't ask that part out loud. That sounded too disturbing of a fate.

The thought of her drifting in space in the dark, alive, alone, aware, and cold for all that time... It sounded haunting and horrid. Would she have gone insane? Or would she have ended herself to put her out of her torment?

The heavy silence returned, and Caldwell knew the question would linger heavily in his mind until he ventured over to check. He just dreaded what he might find and worse... What would they do when they did?

His mind went back to memories of McKay chasing through the Daedalus hallways with this exact discussion.

"Her brain should be healed by now! I'll just turn off the nanites!"

He honestly wondered if that would have worked if Sheppard hadn't thrown her into space. It probably would have. But now? Her body has been constantly exposed to the harsh freezing vacuum of space for so long whose to say her body's even in one piece anymore and not shattered into frozen nanite dust?

He couldn't say that out loud. He didn't want to hurt the scientist with such mental imagery. Instead, he just said he'd think about it.

And now, as he stared solemnly at Carter, he thought they both knew what he had to do. They'd have to see what became of her. Alive or dead it was a question that needed to be answered. One way or another.

--

They gazed out at the space debris beyond the Daedalus viewport. So many replicator bodies were frozen in various poses of screaming panic, hurt, anger, and betrayal. Many were broken apart as well. Missing legs and arms. Half-formed torsos and the like and a lot, A LOT, of icy dust particles, floating around them like glittering crystals.

Caldwell grimaced at the gruesome scene. All these frozen corpses, and not one of them was Elizabeth.

McKay's shoulder's slumped defeated and he shook his head. "She-she must have been taken by replicators!"

"And left the rest of their people?" Caldwell said quietly, feeling sorry for the distraught scientist as the man paced distressed and flailed his hands as he spoke.

"They were defectors! Or.. Or maybe it was the wraith! Either way, we have to find her!"

"Doctor..."

McKay looked to the helm. "Are there any wraith ships in the area?" He demanded questioningly, with an edge of panic and hope. The helmsman shook his head quietly.

"McKay."

His breathing grew frantic and his heart raced. "Then look again for anything else!" The scientist snapped and raised his arms helplessly in exasperation. "The Travelers maybe?! I don't know!?"

Caldwell reached out slowly and touched his shoulder. The scientist's head swung over to him looking spooked. "McKay." He spoke quietly. "She's gone."

"I know that!" He glared and brushed Caldwell's handoff. "We have to find out where she went!" His eyes darted side to side as his mind worked overtime. "Maybe- Maybe it was the Trust!"

There was so much pain in McKay's eyes and a yearning for hope, somewhere, anywhere in the cold darkness of space. He went up to the science station, Suzy backed away from, and gave him space as he peered desperately at the sensor readings.

His bridge crew turned to look at him hopelessly and Caldwell just gazed back quietly. No one spoke as the scientist flipped through settings, messed with buttons, and ever gave a monitor a loud smack for good measure.

Caldwell quietly prayed that Elizabeth would be the only person broken and beyond repair today.

Chapter Text

A week later.

Caldwell took a deep breath in an attempt to remain calm and collected, but it was difficult given this latest mission report as an annoyed team stared down him and Sam like they were ready for murder, which they were.

"So... Are we allowed to kill him?" Sergeant Mehra asked.

Caldwell looked over to Colonel Carter, who looked as professional as ever with no hint of surprise or any emotion in her eyes. It made him wonder how often she had witnessed this type of thing or worse.
"That's for his people to judge him."

"Yeah, but he drugged them all for who knows how long, and all they did was banish him. Maybe they were still suffering the after-effects and couldn't think straight." Teldy pointed out quietly as she shifted her weight from foot to foot uncomfortably.

"Dr. Keller assured me they are all inoculated, so that doesn't seem to be the case."

'Unfortunately', Caldwell thought but kept his mouth shut. He honestly couldn't believe Lucius Lavin got away with so much and for it to get laughed off as a joke, albeit one that gave banishment. Though perhaps it would be better than just having him just locked up forever and being a drain on the village's meager resources, given very few were probably doing their jobs and farming and the like and not just drooling over him. But still, he drugged, married, and slept with so many poor women. It made him wonder if those victims got a vote in his punishment or if it was just the men who laughed about it, or if the death penalty isn't a part of their people's beliefs.

"He still drugged us." Mehra pointed out as she chewed on some gum. "Aren't we allowed to enact our own justice too?" She blew a bubble and popped it loudly.

Carter sighed. "Either way, we don't know where he went."

"What if he strikes again on some other unsuspecting village? Colonels, permission to have my team investigate and try the gate's last dialed addresses." Captain Vega stated as she readied her weapon, looking ready to get moving and actually do something than standing around and talking.

"The Wraith currently occupies the herb planet as Teyla and Ronon found out, so that may keep him from trying anything too soon."

Caldwell looked to Carter. "Could we launch a tactical drone through the gate? Burn the rest of the plants?"

Carter nodded. "I can get Zelenka to rig something up, and we should pick an unoccupied planet to launch it through."

The team looked to them, and their leader raised an eyebrow in question.

Sam looked down. "You can return to the locals and ask where they sent him and look around... If he isn't there and gated elsewhere. You may proceed..."

There was a salute, and the women left. Caldwell heard the gate being dialed behind him as he turned to look at Carter as she radioed Zelenka about the drone. She then took a seat at Weir's- At her desk and signed. She stared at nothing for a moment until he broke the silence.

"What are you going to do... If they find him?"

"I don't know." She finally looked up at him and gave a small bitter smile. "You know... If Daniel were here, it would be a lot easier."

"Why?"

"Because... As much as I love Daniel, he would say something dumb like it's "survival of the fittest" and would think nothing of it even though it's rape." Her mind wandered as she remembered that on P3X-797 so many years ago.

Caldwell winced. "Yikes." He then peered at her equal parts concerned and confused.

"Yeah, well... What I'm saying is, at least everyone would be quietly pissed at him and not me if I end up screwing up and not meeting everyone's expectations with things like this."

Caldwell frowned. "No one would think that. Everyone thinks you're pretty perfect at everything actually..." It's why he couldn't be mad when she got the job to command Atlantis and not him. He knew she was perfect for the job. Everyone looked up to her. Soldier and scientist alike.

"Exactly my point." She shook her head, exasperated. "You blow up one Sun, and everyone thinks you walk on water."

Caldwell raised an eyebrow and couldn't stop a smirk. "You blew up a Sun?"

Carter took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. "Great... Don't go and start telling everyone okay."

Caldwell continued smirked as he crossed his arms casually. "Actually, that's not as impressive as you'd think."

"Oh really?" She cocked an eyebrow teasingly, wondering where this was going.

"Well, my scientist blew up most of a solar system, so... Just one Sun?... Yeah... Not that impressive." He teased. "You're gonna have to step up your game." He tilted his head. "Or not, since you don't want to be the best." He winked and she surprised him with a chuckle.

This was... Unexpected. The ease between them. Caldwell was glad. It had been so difficult before with Weir and Sheppard, but maybe this would work out? It was lonely at the top after all. It would be nice to make peace and a friend. Especially after... everything... His mind wandered to thoughts of his time as a host, and he tried to refocus his attention back to Carter instead as he forced his mind to run through more conversation topics.

"So... Any Earthly requests before the Daedalus leaves?" Sam taking the role had been unexpected when she first came out here, so he figured there must be something she'd have wanted to take with her if she would have known beforehand. That thought also made him wonder if he'd have to deal with an annoyed SG-1 when they returned, given that Carter had been suddenly taken from them without much fanfare or even a heads up for a going-away party.

"There... Are a couple of photos in my lab... Or, well, whoever they'd have given my lab to." Carter thought about the photos of Teal'c and O'Neill and smiled sadly, already missing them.

He nodded and smiled back sympathetic. Photos. There should be enough space for that, and it was nice she had asked for something that wouldn't take up much cargo weight which made it easier to add on without causing any problems. "That doesn't sound like an issue. I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks, Colonel."

"Anytime, Colonel."