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Chapter Text

It was cold, the dead wind rustled naked trees and everything was pitch black, elements from the environment only recognizable by white lines that made the silhouettes like a work of art by someone deep in sorrow.

The wind was probably the coldest one anyone could imagine, so cold that even the person made of the purest snow felt the need of cover from it.

What is it? Is not this what you desired? To be with your beloved in your own world?

The voice was filled with anger and it's blinding light made the other cover his face with his forearms

The other had thick, dark and burning chains around his wrists and ankles pulling him down so he couldn't stand from the black grass that swayed with the strong wind. His eyes were closed tightly as his wrists plucked out the grass, he couldn't stand the pain anymore, not aftet the furious wind ripped off all of his nine tails.

"There must be something that can be done!" The one still standing cried

Nothing else will spare the two of you from suffering the worst of eternal punishments for your sins

He wanted to hesitate, but he couldn't, not with his beloved suffering so much "But you are mistaking the facts! It is me the only sinner! I was the one who seduced and brought the morbid ideals! But I implore to not end with his existence since my life is his like his is mine, so by doing so it will be like ending both of us...and the void of two missing ones would be fatal." He explained.

The wind got even more aggressive as the seconds of silence felt eternal.

That being the case then I shall take on your proposal, I shall let both of you live, but listen to these words

The red thread you claim to have will be thorn but you will still see each other in every life and every reality

Your punishment for your offense will be to carry the memories of every single life you have lived and the knowledge of your sins, but the other one will have no memory at all and will be forbidden to become yours

You will be condemned to see your love every single time and live the same story over and over, give him all your heart as you claim, but never being able to receive the same from the other

He already felt his body tearing apart. "If it will mean that we get to see each other and he can live happily even without being able to remember me then so shall it be!" He said

He turned his head at some pained groans but looked back at the light when it got so intense it consumed the place

He couldn't see anything anymore even if he looked around for his love...

Its was all pure and painful white

......

"Mr. Shimotsuki?" The interviewer asked for the third time. She was starting to give nervous glances to the producers behind the cameras and the audience.

He was staring at the spotlight, strong and blinding light directly at him.

"Shun..." Hajime murmured and leaned a bit closer.

Everyone seemed to stop whatever they were doing when a single lonely tear rolled down his cheek. "I can't..." came out like a breathless whisper. He looked away from the light, but his eyes were empty and cold. "I can't do this anymore." He sobbed, this time it could be heard by everyone.

Before Hajime could do anything, Shun dashed out of the set, avoiding security and staff members. Hajime went after him, not minding at all that the live show was ruined.

He didn't know if it was the weird nature of the situation, something in the air or the fact that the lights were failing and leaving the hallways into darkness but something told Hajime that he had to run, he had to run as if his life depended of it. If he couldn't catch up with him in that one race, he had to do it this time.

There was quite long distance between them, but somehow his instinct told him where they were heading, even if the thought made a chill run down his spine.He didn't want to go there.

At the end of the halway was an open door leading to a balcony, Shun didn't waste time and climbed onto it, then turned to give one last glance at Hajime. "I'm sorry..." Was all he said as more tears fell from the lime eyes.

Hajime ran as fast as he could. "SHUN!"

But he couldn't do anything

He didn't make it in time

The white haired slightly spread his arms and let himself fall

Was in that second when Hajime knew how it felt when you heart completely stopped. He couldn't believe it. He thought for a second that it didn't happen and that was just another of Shun's tricks, but a dry sound accompanied by screams brought him back to reality and led his stumbling self to look down.

He propped his elbows on the spot from Shun had jumped just seconds ago and pulled his hair back as he stared at the shocking image of his fan, his rival, his equal, his friend, laying over the buried top of a car looking as delicate as always...

He wished someone had told him early that morning that it would be his last day with Shun Shimotsuki, the demon lord.

Chapter Text

"Did you notice anything off about his behavior that day?"

He stared into the distance with a blank expression, then he made a slight movement that resembled a head shake. "No, he was the same as always, saying weird things, making people get confused...making people smile in his odd way." He said.

"Did anything happen before that interview?"

He squinted a little as he tried hard to remember any detail he didn't notice before, but it came without results. "No, it was a normal interview for both of us in a live show and everything was going as it usually does, then out of nowhere he stared at the spotlight and stopped answering." He relaxed his eyes and let his head fall to the side. "And you know what happened next..."

"Did he mention any reason before jumping off the balcony?"

He kept staring at nowhere in particular. "He only said 'I'm sorry'..." He said slowly.

"What do you think he apologized for? Could you say it was the reason why he did it?"

His look suddenly turned into a glare towards them. "I wish I knew" He said.

- - - - - - -

He saw the people passing by, surrounded by flowers that didn't have smell for him, feeling as if he was in some kind of dusky picture and only listening to murmurs and sobs he didn't care to decipher. He was sitting and watching the people just like he liked to do, he kind of understood why he found it interesting, you can pick up various details about their behavior when you didn't actually interact with them.

He saw 5 young men that used to share the duty of bringing smiles along with him, looking like ships lost in a thick and dark mist without their beacon, probably wishing someone was there to give a cryptic point of view about the situation. He also saw other group of the same number, but this group would shoot more concerned looks at him than to the coffin in middle of the hall, something he couldn't understand. Why look at him when the one gone is in middle of the hall being exhibited like some kind of rare jewel in a museum? He was no more than other among the people dressing black.

"M-mutsuki..." A sobbing voice made him look up. He wondered when that person's mother had gotten there. She resembled him, but her presence didn't feel even close as how his felt. "Please t-tell me how happened, I want to know why...!" She was cut off by her own cries

He had no answer as for the why, he didn't want to have to tell the same short story he repeated over and over the day before. People expected him, as the last person that saw him alive, to have answers he wished to have but didn't. He stared blankly at the crying woman, not feeling with the energy or the right to do anything about it, he could have avoided this if he had ran faster after all.He just watched as the woman was carefully pulled away, probably to be comforted by someone actually capable of doing so.

He turned his head when he felt the shadow of someone over him and warmth on his shoulders, noticing it came from Haru's skinny -and maybe just a little larger than what they should- hands. He was telling him something, but he didn't bother to register it since it might have been more worried or reassuring words, words he didn't completely understand why were meant for him; shouldn't they be for his family? Or his second family, Procellarum. The only thing that could really differentiate him from the other members of both units was the fact that he saw it happening, so he didn't get why everyone insisted on throwing so much on him, who was he after all? Just like that person, they loved to throw things at him that he didn't understand, let alone deserve.

Everything in that funeral went as it was meant to, with that heavy air hard to swallow. The coffin was carried to where a pantheon built in time, worthy of a Lord like him, was located. Even though it was a pantheon, it was far from looking like an exaggeration or pompous attempt to idolize the fallen one, it was simple with marble details and those snowflake engravements that represented him so well; it was made in a way that just by looking at it you could only think it could only belong to him, for better or worse. Was he in his right mind and would have wondered how the Shimotsuki family had built it in such a short time, but then being he as loved and spoiled as he was, it was no surprise that they did everything to give their dear lord a proper place for his body to rest for an eternity.

Not everyone got the chance to actually get inside the pantheon, just his closest family, that including them, of course. There they got to give him one last farewell before burying and locking the memory of his presence in that pantheon to then let it slowly blur until it became just a name tied to stories. He did remember the blabbing voices that sounded more like a buzz in his ears, most likely words for the fallen Lord, but he just didn't find himself in the place he was standing, he didn't find himself in any specific place. He just wanted it to be over.

He felt the figures around him move and he just followed the flow, hoping it would mean this nightmare could end, but then he felt his hip bump against a hard but not too stable surface, making him turn and –for the first time since that night– face the facts.

The facts, the facts looked like a sculpture. Pale and smooth skin, silky white hair, face factions easily comprable to the ones of an angel, lime and mysterious eyes that...he could find but instead found white and long eyelashes. He had seen him sleep before, he had seen that peaceful expression before, maybe too paceful for someone that supposedly ended his life due to a great amount of sorrow.

He felt something filling him up, a realisation, a slap right across the face. "What are you doing?" He heard himself ask, staring directly at the man in the coffin. He saw him fall, how could he look so peaceful after ending his life on such horrendous way? Because he didn't do it, obviously.

He had seen him pull off crazy stunts before, so why wouldn't this be one of them. He didn't get an answer, so he looked up at the person next to him, who was giving him a confused look through a pair of glasses. "What are you doing?" He asked again, unsure if his own face was making an expression or showing his real confusion and irritation at all. However, he was too tired to care. "Take him out of there." He added while giving two soft taps to the glass. Might as well be more clear about it since people were still looking at him as if he was talking in a foreign language.

He saw the confused look shielding itself with the glasses twist into serious concern and then look at someone across him, who mirrored his expression. He couldn't tell if everyone was having a silent conversation trough facial expressions or if he was ignoring them again. "Hajime, let's go home ok?" He heard that familiar voice next to him said as his arm was hooked with his and he was guided to the exit of the pantheon. Good. He would have liked to see Shun sitting up and state that he would never forgive him for such a bad and tasteless joke, but he was contempt with the fact that the whole circus would be over.

That's what he thought until he heard the sounds of wood being moved and turned his head to search for the lime eyes just to find that the coffin was being moved into a whole in the ground.

He didn't know what got into him in that second, it was a mixture of confusion, panic and anger. Whatever he was feeling was enough for him to get out of the other's grasp and dash to the coffin until he found himself leaning all of his upper body on it. "What are you doing?! Don't put him in there! How will he get out later?!" He heard himself shout, though he couldn't recognize his own voice. He didn't like to shout. "Shun! This is enough! This is enough!" He growled, saying his name for the first time since that night.

Now he felt hands over him trying to pull him away and a lot of noise, but he kept telling him to get him out with no results. His eyes focused on a set of intense blue irises that contrasted with the reddish color around them. "Hajime, listen to me." He heard the owner of the eyes said firmly as the strong grip on his wrists that squeezed them at each word, probably because the grip belonged to him as well. "Hajime, this is real..." He heard him say and for the first time since that night he felt like someone talked in the same language as him, that told him what he was unconsciously asking to hear, maybe it was the feeling that carried his words, but it made him feel like those words were worth of his time and comprehension.

He blinked and felt his brow furrow. He needed more from this voice. He had been answering so much when he had so much questions himself. Didn't he deserve answers as well? This could be his chance right? "Is this happening?" He asked as a whisper, as if he wasn't the center of attention at that moment anyway.

He saw the eyes flatter, as if the question itself and the task of thinking about the answer was unbearable. He knew about that, because deep inside he knew the answer as well. "Yes Hajime, this is really happening." He heard him say. Perfect answer; Short, on point, easy to understand.

The whole idea of all of the events being a stunt was too mischievous, even for the Lord demon. He knew that. He knew that he would never make people suffer to this point over a joke.

Did the eyes also have the answer for that other thing?

"...Why? Why did he say sorry?" He tilted his head.

The blue eyes broke contact with his. A bad signal. "For leaving us like this...?" The curve in the tone of his voice was as devastating as the curve of an axe against your throat.

Hajime felt himself getting annoyed at the vague answer. "That's not it." He said as a matter of fact. He was frowning, still confused and now disappointed at the failure of the only person he had taken the time of voluntarily reply to.

There was only one person left that could clear the typhoon in his head, the culprit himself. He looked down at the wood, but in his mind projected the image of the laying man he had seen minutes before. "I don't get it...why did you say sorry? What did you do Shun?" He asked serious and even, as if expecting an answer and trying to not pressure him in order to not scare him.

He didn't get an answer.

"Sorry for what Shun? What did you do? You did nothing Shun!" He didn't realize he was hitting the wood until the pounds were strong enough to make others get alarmed and for the grip around his hand to get insaley strong. He could hear the owner of the blue eyes begging him to stop...that didn't stop him. If blue eyes didn't have the answers it would be nice of them to not get in his way to get them.

Still no answer.

He also didn't realize he was crying until he felt specific parts of his face get wet and his voice break "YOU DID NOTHING! SORRY FOR WHAT?" It was then when he a desperate cry that matched his own desperation made him get out from his trance for a moment and look at Shun's mother completely broken at the scene in front of her, which made him lower his guard and let strong force of teamwork get him out of there like a manequen

Nothing. In the end...he got nothing.

- - - - - - -

"It was good that only us and Shun's family got to see that..."

"Do you think he will be fine?"

"He is Hajime! He is strong! And we will help him get trough this."

"We should get professional help though...Kurotsuki is already arranging that anyway."

Hajime was sitting on a cold stone bench, staring blankly at the floor and pretending he couldn't listen to the members of his unit talk about what to do with him as if he was a little broken thing. He would give suggestions if he had taken a decision of what to do himself.

He only had the sting in his throat as evidence that he had really voiced everything in his head, unless he had imagined all of that and was under the effects of subjection; He doubted it though.

There was someone next to him that knew that he was taking the time to register everyone's words now, but was pretending not to. "Hajime... I know you tend to carry the burdens by yourself, but don't do it this time." He said and carefully placed a hand over his. "Not now." He added and got Hajime to turn his head and look at him. "Please, open up and let us all help you with this..." He showed him the saddest smile he had ever seen on that face ever since he knew him from school.

What about him? Who would help him? He looked sad too after all. Has anyone offered his best friend help because of this? Because he was no different form him, a member of the rival unit of the deceased.

Deceased, the word felt like dirt on his tongue, but it is the right word to use. He had to accept things as they came, didn't he?

He limited himself to take his hand and give it a soft squeeze. It wasn't a promise at all, but if nobody was helping his friend, it was the least he could do; which made his eyes lit up slightly. Hajime had to recognize that maybe they weren't the same, since he knew his eyes wouldn't lit up like that under any circumstances at the moment.

"What the hell was that?! You didn't have to bring Hajime if he wasn't ready." He heard a new voice; it a bit hostile but without any trace of venom in it.

"We didn't know that would happen." A softer voice explained. "You know that his way of grieving has been very...very quiet."

He thought about that and remembered that he hadn't really talked to that gentle voice since that day, so he could guess why his grieving would be qualified as silent.

"Really Aoi? Well Rui's grieving has been silent too and he didn't fucking jump over the coffin!" The hostile voice responded. "Kai is still talking to Shun's family trying to excuse whatever that was."

Hajime could feel the atmosphere changing, feeling fast, vivid, but not exactly in a good sense. It made him feel anxious, like he would soon have to keep up with a pace he really didn't want and have to deal with, noise and movement from others wrapping him.

"You, just stop ok?" That voice was quiet, but it surely felt even more aggressive and threatening if you listened to it well enough, a luxury Hajime had in his current state.

He just had to look up and see the firm hand over the redhead's chest. "This really is the thing we need the least right now." The voice added and it was then when Hajime realized that the brunette of clear eyes, more than angry, was pained, the same could be said for the redhead. "If you want to take your anger over something just wait until we get home and punch a pillow or something." The voice was so close to hissing that Hajime could have sworn that that's what happened, had he more confidence on his reception of the events happening around him.

The redhead limited himself to click his tongue and turn away. "SHIT this fucking sucks!" He growled to the wind.

Hajime felt like nodding at that, but honestly he didn't want to blow at a tornado or risk having the attention over him once again.

"I can't understand..." Another brunette stared at the dirt under them. "I think none of us really get what was in his mind but...should we have tried harder? Maybe that way we could have helped him and... things wouldn't have turned out like this." His voice broke at the last sentence between sniffs.

Hajime was somehow glad that he wasn't the only one who didn't have idea of why things ended up the way they did, that he was not the only one who wondered 'Should I have tried harder?'. At that time it made him wonder why they seemed to be doing better than him in terms of grieving, considering they shared some of his thoughts.

He saw blue eyes coming back and they fixated on him again with an expression he couldn't quite read.

He was giving the other unit a very hard time, he concluded.

"How is he?" The tallest of them all asked, eyes moving to the person next to him.

"He is calm; seems to be more aware of his surroundings now..." His friend explained.

Hajime felt his stomach flip at the thought of his friend describing him as if he was mental. Maybe it was time for him to make an effort to create a more 'sane' image, starting by using their names.

"Shun's mother understood the circumstances so everything is ok now...or at least as ok as they can be." Kai said and his brow furrowed. "But I think the real issue here is that Hajime is not really accepting this." He murmured.

That was a mistake. Hajime already knew that he was dead and realized that, in hindsight, the paceful expression he saw before was so different from the ones he had seen before it could just mean that the Demon Lord was all but sleeping.

The black haired let out a sigh. "No..." He said softly with a voice that he actually recognized. That of course made all the attention go directly at him, but he tried to focus on Kai's blue eyes only. "I have accepted it..." He added slowly, as if talking was an struggle for him, which was, considering he had to put all of the other thoughts and questions aside to focus on just talking. "He is gone..."

The last sentence made others face that fact again and get their faces bathed with sorrow for a moment.

Hajime extended his hand towards him "Kai..." He said and waited for the taller man to take his hand and kneel in front of him. He was glad that Kai understood what he wanted him to do, because he didn't want to talk more than necessary.

"I'm sorry for giving you and others a hard time..." He said honestly. He had never been one to rely much on other and he hated his current position of having to depend on Haru to talk for him or having Kai apologizing for something he did. "If possible, let me be..." He added.

Everyone including Kai seemed to be surprised and quite touched by the soft and vulnerable tone the often called King was using. Kai nodded in response, finding that there was no way he could trouble his fellow when he looked so broken.

Hajime pulled back his hand and got up, deciding that he had enough of the emotionally exhausting day and walking by himself to whichever car that would take him home.

The sun shining straight to his eyes blinded him in such a familiar way and he couldn't even understand why, but then he realized he really never understood nothing when it came to that person either. He wasn't interested on doing so anyway not like anything involving him mattered anymore. The lingering curiousity about his reason to apologize stayed there, but he supposed it would fade eventually, along with the look of those lime eyes.

The others watched him go, letting him be for now just as he asked.

"That Shun bastard..." You looked up at the sky and frowned. "He not only left, but took Hajime with him..."