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Chapter Text

It was at some point after their first date, when Kravitz was visiting Taako at his place, that he found out about the go-gurt thing. They were in the kitchen, because Taako liked having something to do with his hands, and he liked cooking even if he rarely let Kravitz taste anything.

(“I have full confidence in my cooking, you understand,” he’d said once, “it’s just that it feels weird. Old habits die hard or some shit, right?” And then he laughed and transmuted sugar into edible rainbow glitter, just to see Kravitz raise his eyebrows because it was just so damn extra.)

Taako was making something complicated with chicken and wine and tiny purple berries and he kept taking furtive swigs of the wine.

“Is it any better than the wine at that pottery place?” Kravitz asked.

“Wouldn’t know, my dude,” said Taako, “it all tastes like key lime go-gurt to me.”

“I’m sorry, what?” said Kravitz. He laughed, but uncertainly. He couldn’t always tell when Taako was joking. It seemed he used the same tone of voice for pure nonsense, painful childhood memories, and playful observations about cooking. It was honestly sort of confusing sometimes, considering Kravitz didn’t have a lot of recent experience with social interaction in the first place. Let alone dating.

Taako looked up, bottle of wine in one hand. “No, seriously,” he said. “Magic spell gone horribly wrong. Well, moderately wrong.” He grinned. “Could’ve been worse, it could’ve been maraschino cherries.”

“Really,” Kravitz said.

“They’re a travesty,” Taako remarked, and sloshed some wine into the pan. It smelled good, and not at all like lime.

It was just one of those things, Kravitz supposed. One of those weird, wonderful, bizarre, absolutely over the top things that made up Taako. Sometimes it seemed the man was a patchwork of outrageous stories, of glitter and cocky smiles. And then he’d drop himself, boneless and shameless, into Kravitz’ lap and ask him, in that same tone of voice, when Kravitz was going to collect on his bounty.

“I’m not,” Kravitz said.

“Well, that’s almost a pity,” said Taako. “I heard from a very reliable source that I’m a good one. You could live like a king, Kravvy-boy.”

“You were,” said Kravitz, “but we got all that cleared up. No one’s hunting you now.”

Taako looked up at him from where he was draped over his legs and for a moment, Kravitz swore he looked disappointed. Then he said: “Not much point in you hanging around, then,” and Kravitz knew he hadn’t just been imagining things.

“It’s not-” Kravitz said, and stumbled. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he twisted his fingers into the soft fabric of Taako’s blouse, felt the pattern of the lace dig into his skin. “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Oh my god, are you blushing?” Taako said and it was an obvious attempt to rile him. A good blush required good circulation, for starters. Taako reached up, ran his fingers across Kravitz’ cheeks.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Kravitz. Taako’s fingers were so warm.

“Ooh, and now you’ve gone all severe,” said Taako. “Is that your go-to reaction to awkward situations? Get a bit of the old reaper voice out?”

To everyone’s surprise, most of all Kravitz himself, he said: “No, my reaper voice is the cockney one. You can tell I’m not on the job because I’m not calling you darlin’.” He was leaning forward now, his face in Taako’s hands, his dreads threatening to spill over his shoulder.

It took Taako half a second to find a witty comeback, which in Taako terms was half an eternity. “What if I wanted you to though?” he finally said. It wasn’t even that good a comeback, but something about it lodged in Kravitz’ stomach.

His hands were still on his face, too, fingers still but thumbs drawing gentle circles on his cheekbones.They were like fire. They were something Kravitz hadn’t felt in a long time, and not just in a purely physical sense.

“I could do that,” he said, “just not in a cockney accent.”

“I can live with that, babe,” said Taako.

Kravitz wasn’t entirely sure how they’d gone from that to Taako’s bedroom. It had happened somewhere after Kravitz leaned down for a kiss, somewhere after he’d whispered ‘darling’ into Taako’s mouth. It had happened before Taako had shoved both hands down Kravitz’ pants, thankfully, because Kravitz wasn’t sure he could’ve lived down being caught in the communal living room with an elf rummaging around his underwear as if it was filled with precious treasure.

“Taako, the door,” Kavitz said. Taako’s hands were so warm, setting him on fire from the inside out.

“Shit yeah, say my name,” Taako said, though it was a little muffled, given that his mouth was plastered against Kravitz’ neck.

“The door,” he managed.

Taako gave an impatient little huff and disentangled one hand to wave it vaguely behind him. He muttered: “Bibbidi bobbidi bugger off,” and a wall of force sprung up from the floor, to block off the door opening entirely.

“I suppose that works,” Kravitz said weakly, and then he went “oof,” because Taako was shoving him backwards and down, onto the bed. He let himself fall, hoping that this time there were no sharp surprises between the sheets, and Taako stumbled after him, ending up with his mouth on Kravitz’ and his knee dangerously tucked between Kravitz’ legs.

“Taako,” Kravitz said.

“That’s right, say it,” Taako said, and absolutely plastered himself against the length of Kravitz’ body.

“Hey,” Kravitz said, and tugged on Taako’s sleeve. It wasn’t enough to pull him away (thank god) but it caught the elf’s attention.

He looked up, and his eyes were just a little darker, his breathing a little heavier. “What’s wrong, my dude?”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Kravitz said. “The cold.”

“I mean, I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little weird.” Taako smiled. “But I like to think you’re warming up to me.”

“That’s terrible,” Kravitz said, with a smile.

“Hey listen,” Taako said, “I hear sharing body heat is very efficient, what do you say?”

Kravitz stifled a giggle. “You’re awful.”

“I think you mean I’m fabulous, and also very hot.” Taako leaned in for another kiss, only to come up for breath with a grumbled: “Fuck, why do you have so many buttons on your pants? What’s wrong with a zipper, Krav? Velcro, even? I would kill for tearaway pants right now.” He fumbled, fingers working furiously until, with a victorious grunt, he’d worked open Kravitz’ pants.

Things were a bit hazy after that, which was why, Kravitz rationalised, he came so late with the reply: “Yes, you are.”

Taako lifted his head, shot Kravitz a quizzical look. He’d been kissing Kravitz’ stomach, for some obscure reason, but Kravitz was not one to complain because it was sending butterflies all up and down his body. He could feel it in his toes. “I’m what now?” Taako said.

“Very hot,” said Kravitz. “Please don’t stop.”

“Oh, you know just what to say,” Taako cooed, and with a wicked grin, he ducked down again. Not his stomach this time, but right on Kravitz’ cock.

Bit by bit, Kravitz felt the warmth spread. It was like sitting in the sun on a hot summer day. It was like a warm bath. He felt every touch, and he felt something else. He felt his own blood, pumping through him. Mainly headed south, to be sure, but flowing nonetheless.

He felt alive.

He felt Taako suck him off with the same passion the man put in everything else he did. The cooking, the wild fashion statements. Kravitz reached down blindy, and find that Taako was reaching up to meet him halfway. He tangled his fingers with Kravitz’, and squeezed.

“Taako,” Kravitz said, when he thought he might dissolve entirely. “Darling,” he said, and faltered. Taako squeezed his hand twice, and somehow he knew it was all right. The fact that Taako seemed to double his efforts really helped to remove any lingering doubts.

It took him a moment after that, blinking up to the ceiling, before he managed to gather himself. The heat was already fading, and his skin felt cool and unfamiliar. Especially in those places where his skin was also slightly damp.

Kravitz raised his head and caught Taako in the middle of sticking his tongue out, matter of factly licking Kravitz’ cock one last time, as if to catch any errant drops.

Kravitz raised an eyebrow, and Taako grinned back at him from between his legs.

“Tastes like key lime,” he said.

Kravitz’ nearly choked on his own breath, but he was still too spaced out to mind, much.

“Same texture, even,” Taako said.

“Oh my god,” said Kravitz.

“You can call me Taako,” said Taako, and sidled up to come face to face with Kravitz. “Or darling, I like that.”

“You’re horrible,” said Kravitz. He reached over, took Taako’s face in his hands, and kissed him. Lazily at first, but it was soon apparent there was still a fair bit of urgency there, for Taako if not for himself.

“Hold on,” he mumbled, and shifted a leg out of the way, slipped a hand under Taako’s oversized shirt. The shift in position had him breathing in Taako’s neck, just under the jaw, and he could feel Taako jerk. “Interesting,” he said, against Taako’s neck. Under his hand, he felt an answering twitch.

“Right there, Krav,” said Taako, and then there was something that could’ve been words, all muddled up when Kravitz finally found his way into his horribly gaudy galaxy leggings. They were tight, tight enough to crush his hand against Taako’s erection, and tight enough to crush all sense out of the elf.

“Is this okay?” Kravitz mumbled against Taako’s neck. He gave a quick stroke, and Taako’s arms slammed around him, fingers scrambling against his shirt.

“Oh shit, oh fuck yeah,” Taako went, and a full-body shudder went through him.

“Not to disparage my own skill,” Kravitz said, “but I get the feeling you’re exaggerating.”

“Don’t underestimate your hands, babe,” Taako said. He was tense against Kravitz now, pushing up whenever Kravitz pumped down. “Though-” he gasped and went: “fuck,” quietly before he tried again: “Though I admit I’m a little pent up. Remember the Chug’n’Squeeze?” Kravitz squeezed. “Something about your hands in that clay, my dude. I’ve been horny for fuckin’ weeks.”

“Is that why you call yourselves Tres Horny Boys?”

“No, that was mostly bad judgement,” Taako said. His voice was getting less steady as he spoke, more high-pitched and wavering as he struggled to catch his breath.

“It’s-” Kravitz paused, ran a thumb across Taako’s cock. It was like holding a flame. It was like holding an increasingly damp flame, sweat and friction and the unforgiving fabric of Taako’s leggings all conspiring together. “I was gonna say it’s not that bad but no, it’s pretty bad.”

“Too late to change it,” Taako said, “I’ve already had t-shirts printed.” He laughed, and halfway through it turned into a drawn-out cry. Kravitz pressed his lips against Taako’s neck, jerked him off hard, and tried not to wonder too much if someone was lying awake right now, listening to Taako scream his name. If nothing else, it was flattering.

“You have elegant hands,” Taako said as Kravitz was wiping off his fingers. “Wait, is that a handkerchief? Does it come with the suit?”

“Yes it is,” Kravitz said. He leaned over, mopped up Taako. Taako stretched, sighing contentedly under his touch.

“Very fancy,” said Taako. “I love a stylish man.”

Kravitz smiled and looked down, at Taako. He was all sprawled out, his lacy shirt hiked up across his chest, his leggings pulled down at an awkward angle. There wasn’t an inch of him that wasn’t naked, covered in glitter or lace or blue and purple nebulae.

“Me too,” he said.

Chapter Text

Kravitz woke up the next morning and realised he was very warm.

He didn’t usually sleep, seeing as he spent quite a lot of his time either on the astral plane, or as a semi-corporeal skeletal reaper. Skeletons didn’t sleep. But he did have a human form, and that was the thing about human forms. Stay in one long enough, and all the little mortal needs start catching up.

He’d forgotten what it felt like to wake up, all fuzzy around the edges as reality slowly crept back in. Turned out, it was nice.

As the world came into focus, he realised he was so warm because he was cradled in Taako’s arms, his face pressed into the crook of the elf’s neck. Taako, in turn, had somehow flung both legs around him. It really shouldn’t be possible, or comfortable, but here they were.

Kravitz closed his eyes again, unwilling to finish waking up. That was when he heard someone say his name.

It wasn’t Taako, he was still asleep and in any case, the voice was too far away. It was also too feminine, and sounded slightly tinny.

Kravitz blinked, tried to figure out where it was coming from, and after a moment peering groggily around the room, he concluded the sound was coming from his trousers, lying discarded by the foot of the bed.

“Crap,” he mumbled, and started peeling Taako off of him. He slid himself across the mattress, carefully shimmied his legs free, reached down to fish his stone of far speech out of a pocket.

“Kravitz, are you there?” the Raven Queen said. She sounded almost bored, and Kravitz could imagine her in her favourite chair, stone in one hand, head resting in the palm of the other, calling him on repeat for at least half an hour.

“Good morning, boss,” he said, very quietly.

“Oh hey, there you are,” she said. “I can barely hear you, is something messing with your reception?”

“Uh, no.” Kravitz glanced over his shoulder. Taako had rolled over and was now hogging all the blankets. “I’ve got to be quiet. Speaking of, unless there’s an emergency, I would appreciate it if I could sit this one out.”

There was a moment of silence. Then, the Raven Queen just went: “Hm.”

“I’ve never taken personal time off,” Kravitz said, “not in two hundred years.”

“Hmm,” she went again. Something tapped, like nails on a table. She tended to do that when she was thinking, and it was usually best to just let her finish her thought. Kravitz took the opportunity to have a good yawn, holding the stone away from his mouth.

“Don’t tell me you’ve finally got a social life,” the Raven Queen said and he could hear the smirk on her face.

“You make it sound so unlikely and I resent that,” said Kravitz. She cackled at that, and he had to grin, himself. He supposed they had an odd relationship, but he’d found early on that it was easier to be friendly with his boss. After all, they were going to have to put up with each other for a while.

He felt something shift on the bed, then, and when he looked behind him again, Taako had managed to creep quite close to him.

“Hey,” Kravitz said, “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Hey babe,” said Taako. His shirt was hanging off one shoulder, and the creases from his pillowcase were etched into his right cheek. “Who’s that tearing you from my sweet embrace?”

There was a slight cough from the stone, and Kravitz said: “That would be my boss.”

“Oh, hi,” Taako said, drawing the word out until it sounded like it had three syllables. He draped an arm across Kravitz’ shoulders and leaned in real close. “Listen, listen. Can I borrow cha’boy Kravitz for a few more hours?”

“You must be Taako,” the Raven Queen said. “I hear you’ve died nineteen times.”

“Oh well, only technically.” Taako sniffed. “And none of them definite. Though I will admit that I’m to die for.”

The Raven Queen let out a noise that might have been a stifled giggle. “Well,” she said, “it’s not an emergency. Take the day off, Kravitz.”

“That’s excellent news,” Taako went. He reached over to flip the off switch and just before he did, he added: “If you’ll excuse us, we’ve got things to do. Specifically, each other.”

Kravitz could hear the Raven Queen burst into laughter, and then the connection cut off. “Taako,” he said, “you just told my boss that we’re sleeping together.”

“Yeah, do you mind?” Taako draped himself more fully across Kravitz’ shoulders. “She was gonna find out sooner or later.”

“True,” Kravitz sighed. He reached up, rubbed a thumb across Taako’s cheek. The crease was still there.

“Hey, Kravitz,” Taako said.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t do that,” he said. Kravitz pulled away his hand but Taako shook his head. “No, no, my dude, not that. Keep doing that, that’s fine. I mean the way you tried to sneak away. Don’t do that.”

“You’d rather I wake you up?” Kravitz said.

“Yes, absolutely.” Taako took a deep breath. He refused to meet Kravitz’ eyes for a moment, and then he said: “I don’t like waking up and someone not being there when I know they were just there. It’s not right.”

“Okay,” Kravitz said, and kissed him on the cheek, right where the crease was. Then, because Taako was warm and the feeling of his skin under Kravitz’ lips was basically the best thing, he kissed him again.

“Let me make you breakfast,” Taako said. “Pancakes?”

“That sounds lovely,” Kravitz said.

Between Taako’s hands and sleeping in it, his shirt was irreparably rumpled. That was why Kravitz found himself sitting in the kitchen in his suit pants and a t-shirt that said “hot mess” in hot pink across the chest, wholly unsure if this was any better than just wearing his ruined shirt. Still, it make Taako grin every time he looked over, so he supposed that was worth something.

“Do you want a hand?” he asked.

“Sure, why the hell not.” Taako all but shoved the bowl of batter at Kravitz. “Mix this up a little, all right?”

Kravitz stood by the counter and mixed while Taako went and got the pan nice and hot. There was none of his usual flair and showmanship in it, he was just feeding magic into the fire, calmly holding a few fingers on his other free hand over the metal. There was a very slight smile on his face. Kravitz realised he no longer counted as audience.

They barely talked, but it was a peaceful silence. Kravitz spooned in the batter and Taako cooked with efficient, professional grace. There wasn’t even a bit of glitter or turning salt into sugar until the very end, where Taako turned a whole jar of honey purple with the flick of a wrist, and then turned to beam at him.

“Hey, this is nice,” he said.

“The breakfast or the cooking together?” Kravitz asked.

“Both, you dunce.” Taako dropped their plates on the kitchen table. “It reminds me of-” He turned his head.

Kravitz sat, arms crossed. “Reminds you of what?” he prompted.

Taako shook his head, shook the fuzzy look off his face. “You know what, I don’t remember.”

“Your traveling show?” Kravitz dipped a finger into the honey, tasted it. It was almost jarring to find that despite the bright purple colour, it still tasted just like regular honey.

“Hell no,” Taako said. “I mean, I had a blast but that was all performance, right? This, right here, would be way too homey for an audience. They’d boo me right off the stage if I didn’t at least flip these suckers twice as high as my wagon.” Taako prodded a pancake with his fork.

“No room for that in here,” Kravitz mumbled, around a mouthful of pancake.

From around the corner, a door slammed open and there was an almost frantic pattering of bare feet on the staircase. Kravitz turned in time to see a grinning dwarven face peek into the kitchen, a stray patch of clover hanging onto his beard.

“Hey boys,” said Merle, “do I smell-” His eyes landed on Kravitz and the fingers of his wooden hand twitched on the doorframe. “You’re not Magnus.”

“Are you sure?” Taako said. “I mean I know Magnus is a completely different shape, and also not black, but are you really sure? I mean, how can you tell?”

“In my defense,” Merle said, “there are spells for that. But you’re not, are you?”

“No,” said Kravitz.

“Shocker!” Taako called, hands thrown up into the air.

“Hi, Merle.” Kravitz put his fork down, wished he was wearing something a little more dignified. “It’s been a while. No hard feelings, right?”

“Quite the opposite when it comes to me,” Taako said.

Merle ignored him with practised ease, and looked Kravitz over. “That depends. Are you still hunting me?”

“No, I’m not,” said Kravitz, and cracked a wry smile. “All a bit of a misunderstanding.”

“I see, I see.” Merle’s eyes flicked down, to the heaped plates. “All will be forgiven if you give me some of those pancakes.”

“Don’t push your luck, homie,” Taako said.

“No, that’s only fair,” Kravitz said, and pushed his plate towards Merle. Taako turned a stormy expression towards him, but he added: “I can always have a taste of yours,” and winked.

Taako looked surprised for a split second, and then a smile took over his face like a sunrise. “Oh, hell yes,” he said.

On the other side of the table, Merle picked up the plate. “I’ll leave you two alone before I ruin my appetite,” he said.

“Housemates, right,” Taako mumbled, but he was still smiling.

They sat by one of the windows a little later. The view was dizzying, from an angle that reminded Kravitz of the ravens his Raven Queen sometimes used to spy on the world. This was higher still, and the artificial moon made its way across the sky strangely.

“I should put a rug over this thing,” Taako said.

“Don’t like the view?” Kravitz found himself drawn back to Taako, his hair still loose and a little tangled from the night’s sleep.

“I’m not-” Taako glanced over and narrowed his eyes. “Hey, not that I mind you staring at my face, Kravvy-boy, but is there, uh,” he gestured, “something on my face?”

“No,” Kravitz said, and in a wild urge he added: “Do you want me to braid your hair?”

It was worth it, just for the way Taako’s eyebrows shot up. “You can do braids?”

“Sure.” Kravitz said. “The Raven Queen isn’t all feathers, you know.”

“Oh my god, you have slumber parties,” Taako said.

“They’re not-” Kravitz started.

“You have slumber parties and you braid each other’s hair and paint your nails,” Taako interrupted him.

“Well no,” Kravitz said, making a mental note to hide the nail polish. “Do you want me to do this?”

“Sign me the fuck up,” Taako said, voice pure delight.

It was strange, or rather, it was the opposite of strange. It was comfortable, and that was freaking Kravitz out just a little bit. He couldn’t explain any of this. The way Taako and his unfortunately-named crew were always getting themselves killed, and it never seemed to stick. The way things gravitated around them, as if they were a weight on the world and everyone else couldn’t help but find themselves being pulled in. The way Taako had taken a good look at him and seemed to have decided this was something he wanted.

The way Kravitz had taken a look in return, and decided: what the hell, let’s give it a shot.

“Tell me something about yourself,” Taako said.

“What do you want to know?” asked Kravitz. Taako’s hair was finer than the Raven Queen’s, and it kept slipping through his fingers.

“Well hey, if I knew I wouldn’t be asking.” Taako leaned backwards. Kravitz had to nudge him back in place or risk his hands being trapped.

“Stay put,” he mumbled, and twisted Taako’s hair into the beginning of a passable fishtail braid. “About me.” he said and paused, scrambling for something interesting to say. “How about this: I once published a book of poetry under a fake name as a favour to a dead woman.”

Taako doubled over with laughter, pulling his hair from Kravitz’ hands and ruining the the braid. “You were a ghost writer!” he wheezed.

Kravitz smiled. “Funnily enough, that’s what the book was called.”

Kravitz didn’t leave until that evening, and when he kissed Taako goodbye, he felt like he was warming himself on a fire one last time, before going out into the night.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Taako said.

Kravitz looked around, two steps away from the door. It was really only force of habit that had him leaving the apartment before opening a portal for himself. He could’ve done that in the living room for all the difference it made, but somehow it felt wrong.

He looked back, and Taako was leaning in the doorframe, lit by the soft glow from inside and the colder glow of the real moon above. He was wearing a long skirt now, and his hair hung in a lopsided fishtail braid. It was the best Kravitz had been able to do, considering he just wouldn’t sit still.

“How could I be?” he said, and stepped through the portal.

He didn’t notice at first, because his head was still up in the clouds. Because he’d been so warm, for a day or so, and the cold was numbing him.

He stepped through the portal and while it was always cold, this time it felt like breaking through a night’s worth of frost on a shallow lake. Not just cold, but actively resisting him.

Once he noticed that detail, he noticed the waters beneath him, the dark sky above. Dark, dark and silent. There were usually stars, there were usually lights in the water.

Kravitz hovered over the surface of the dark lake, taking in an astral plane that had never been so silent. When something bubbled up from the waters below, he darted down. The tar reached up for him, and pulled him the rest of the way.

Fortunately for Kravitz, skeletons didn’t need to breathe.

Chapter Text

The first time Kravitz surfaced was brief and disorienting. He clawed to the surface, raking at the tar. It was everywhere. Weighing down his robe, wrapped around his limbs in sticky tendrils.

He broke through the surface, which offered more resistance than it really should have, one hand flailing and the other clenched tight around his scythe. For a moment there was a dark sky above him, cold air around him, and then the sea of tar pulled him in again.

It pulled him deeper, some hidden undertow in the goop that was trying to punish him for even trying. It wrapped around him until he couldn’t see, couldn’t feel anything but pressure on all sides, could barely move. That wouldn’t do, though.

He kicked as much as he could, fought his way back up and after what felt like weeks of struggling, he found the surface. This time, and the time after it, were much like the first. He lost track of time, lost track of anything else but the tar. He started wondering if there was even anything left, if he would ever see anything but this blackness.

Still, he struggled, and the next time he broke the surface, he thought he saw something: a rift, and through that rift; a familiar voice. He tried to turn towards it but the tar took this opportunity and dragged him down again.

The fifth time he was desperate, panicked. He kicked and he struggled and be would have screamed if there wasn't tar in his mouth, blocking up everything. He was getting tired, as much as his skeletal form could get tired, and he was starting to get afraid.

Not the immediate fear that he’d felt since the moment the sea reached up and grabbed him, but a deeper fear. It whispered in his ear: what if he couldn’t get free from this?

The tar was thick and sticky and seemed to have a mind of its own, and that was why he didn't stop kicking when he surfaced. He thrashed his way to shore, dragged himself out and up and even then, the stuff tried to follow him. A swift swing of the scythe put an end to that, and then he was free of the tainted sea.

He pulled himself to his feet, took a few more steps away from the bubbling shoreline, and opened a portal back into the material plane.

Nothing happened.

“Oh, fuck me,” he mumbled, and rummaged in his robe. They were a bit sticky, but there was nothing to be done about it and anyway, he'd used feathers that were in worse shape. He laid them out, all five, and called on his connection with the Raven Queen.

It wasn't much of a surprise when nothing happened. Still, it was a blow.

Almost as an afterthought, he fished out his stone of far speech. It took only a moment to confirm it was producing absolutely nothing, not even static.

Kravitz turned towards the shore, where the formerly tranquil waters bubbled and pushed at its boundaries. It was the only thing that moved, between the starless sky and the black sand and the jagged line of the stockade. He was stuck here, and it seemed all his options at communication were cut off.

He felt acutely alone, and that was unsettling. He wasn't used to being so alone. It wasn't just that he was trapped here, and couldn't reach his boss, or the material plane, or Taako. It was the astral plane itself. This could be an eerie place, sure, and he was used to being the only thing that was more or less alive in here, but that wasn't the same thing as being alone. He was used to looking down at the sea, which should have been clear and not made of living tar that wanted to eat him, and seeing in its infinite depths the souls of the dead. They glowed and dances in the waters but now there was only a black, roiling surface.

Calling it unsettling was really too mild. If he wanted to be a little more honest, it was really fucking him up.

Kravitz stood on the sand and reviewed his options. He was trapped and alone. There was only the tar, and he didn't think it could be reasoned with. He'd take anything over having another go at that thing.

He turned, towards a black silhouette against the black sky.

Further up the shore, the black sand made way to black rocks. They were smooth, polished by the tides and the passage of time and the wind that sometimes blew across the astral plane, and Kravitz had to walk carefully or risk slipping. He left sticky footprints, black on black, and the occasional glob of tar, spat up from some recess of his skeletal form.

He was still spitting up tar halfway along the island. A little exasperated, he raised his scythe, brought it down on the black rocks with a ringing thud. A cold blue fire raced along the wooden shaft, up and around his hand. It engulfed him, robe and all, and bit by bit, burnt the tar away.

When he arrived at the stockade, he almost felt presentable.

There was a sound here, something other than the angry sea. It was a soft whispering, from a dozen voices all at once. Kravitz couldn’t make out anything it was saying, but it was a sound and it was something other than the tar and it meant he was no longer alone.

He raised his scythe, and something clicked behind the massive iron doors. Kravitz gestured, and they opened. He walked through, into the Eternal Stockade, and found thousands of eyes, drawn in whispy white strands, staring at him. The inside of the building was mostly hollow, a spiral staircase winding up the outside wall, passing through evenly spaced landings. There were ghosts everywhere. On the stairs, on the landings, just floating in the emptiness of the stockade.

Kravitz scraped his throat, and the whispers stopped.

“Hello there, my lovelies,” he said, piling on the accent. There was silence and he coughed, added: “You’ve seen the sea outside, have you?”

“Not many windows here,” someone said and a single soul on the first landing leaned forward, leaned both arms on the railings. He was sharply defined, which meant he couldn’t be that old. Kravitz could make out his sunglasses, the ghostly spider on his tabard.

“Enough for you all to have a gander,” said Kravitz. “Hello, Brian.”

Brian waved a hand. “Hello, darling. You know we don’t like you, right?”

“That’s fair,” said Kravitz.

“So long as you know it.” Brian hoisted himself over the balustrade and came drifting down. “I’m only speaking the general consensus, you understand, I don’t agree at all, but it was generally thought quite a spectacle when you landed in the goop out there.”

“So you’ve notice the sea,” Kravitz said.

Brian pulled a face. “Dreadful situation. This neighbourhood is going down the drain, if you ask me.”

“Would you like to do something about that?”

“Now, what on earth do you want me to do?” Brian cocked his head. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, dear, but I’m in the slammer. In fact, you put me here.”

“I can take you out again,” Kravitz said.

“Oh yes, that’s an excellent plan,” said Brian. “Me against a sea of tar? I’ll be ghost-food, and what will that get me?”

Kravitz grinned. It showed on his skull as a flash of blue flame. “Not you,” he said.

Brian raised a hand to his chest, rocked back on his heels. “You cut me to the bone. Well, what passes for it in my current state.”

“I was thinking about Legion, my pal,” Kravitz said.

“Oh,” Brian said. He dropped his hand. The affected look faded from his face, replaced by something sharp. “Oh,” he went again. “I like what you’re saying.”

“What do you reckon?” Kravitz gestured at the silent ghosts around them. “Are you all up for another go?”

“I think we can be persuaded,” Brian drawled.

Things went a bit strange after that.

The first they noticed of the portal were two flashes, close together. They weren’t exactly light, and they weren’t exactly colour, but they brought with them a depth, a realness, that had drained from the astral plane whenever the tar had come in. The third time, they were ready, Kravitz and Legion. They were ready to attack, to fight back, to bring some more of that depth back into the world.

With the portal, light and warmth flooded into the astral plane, but something else came as well. A blue flash, and then a green one. They came rushing through like a seal had been broken, like they were trying to fill a vacuum and instantly, Kravitz knew. He saw shadowy shapes dance across the tarry sea, and he knew. His hand clenched around the handle of his scythe, and he turned towards the portal, towards the material plane. That was where the bulk of the Hunger would be.

“Alright, my friends,” he said. “Who’s up for kicking some arse? There’s early parole in it for you.”

Legion roared, and Kravitz stepped through the portal, only to find Taako, his Taako, standing there in the middle of a sapphire mirror the size of a town like it was no big deal. There was a manic cast to his eyes, and he was warm as ever when he kissed him, and it was all Kravitz needed to know he was doing the right thing.

That was the day they all saved the world.

Chapter Text

The first time he got some proper time alone with Taako after that wasn’t until nearly two weeks later, when they were getting ice cream.

(He wasn’t counting the brief check-ins, or the chats they had over the stone. Those were nice, but they weren’t enough and it baffled Kravitz how quickly he’d gone from eyeing the stone of far speech, wondering if it was too soon to call, to demanding a proper date because it had been too damn long.

He’d been delighted when Taako had said: “You know, Krav, you’re right. This is stupid. Let’s get some ice cream.”)

They went down to Goldcliff, because it didn’t matter where they went, Taako was going to be recognised regardless. Half the city was a mess, but the other half was picking up the slack and despite the absolute ruin, the general mood was one of celebration. After all, they’d made it. They’d won.

“You know, you don’t have to do that for me,” Kravitz said as they walked towards the square. It was quiet for now, they’d managed to sneak in mostly under the radar. Taako had two scoops: mocha and pomegranate. Kravitz just one: key lime.

“Do what, babe?” Taako said.

“The disguise,” Kravitz said. “You’re gorgeous no matter what.”

Taako snorted. “Not to rub you the wrong way, Kravvy-boy, but I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for Taako.”

“So long as you don’t think I expect it from you.” Kravitz shifted his ice cream over to his other hand, hooked his free arm through Taako’s. “Does it bother you?”

“I mean, yes,” said Taako. He wasn’t looking directly at Kravitz. “It’s my face, of course it bothers me. Every time I look in the mirror it bothers me. But you know what really gets my goat?”

“What?” Kravitz said.

“Fucking Lup,” said Taako. “She’s the pretty one now. I can’t believe she died and still got to be the pretty one. Fuck.”

Kravitz took a good look at Taako. He’d finished his ice cream, and was left with an empty cone, but Taako was still going. “Is it,” he said, carefully, “that you’ll never again look like each other as much as you did?”

Taako was quiet for a moment, furiously licking at his ice cream. It was starting to melt, and he was in a race to prevent the melted ice cream from getting all over his hands.

“Hey, Kravitz?” he said, once his hands were safe. “Go fuck yourself.”

Kravitz laughed, because he was getting better at reading these situations and there was really no mistaking the faint quirk of Taako's lips.

“No really,” Taako said, and the quirk grew to a smirk. “You can go ahead and fuck yourself tonight, my dude.”

“Oh well,” Kravitz said, and adjusted his shirt collar. He could see Taako’s eyes track his fingers, drawn down by the movement. “If you think that’s gonna intimidate me, I’ve been a reaper for two hundred years. I have some experience being patient.”

Taako sighed. It was a long, dramatic thing. “And a lot of experience with the bone-zone,” he said. “Babe, you’re gonna need it.”

Kravitz managed not to laugh, though it was a close call. “I can’t believe you just did that,” he said. The two of them walked arm in arm, around an old fountain in the square. Inside the fountain, its roots in the shallow water, was a cherry tree. It was beautiful and despite the season there were still a few blossoms here and there, hidden between the leaves.

“It was too easy, my dude,” Taako said. “If you didn’t want me to do it, you shouldn’t have set it up. That’s what I keep telling Magnus, too, when he gets angry about the wood goofs.”

“I’m changing the subject,” Kravitz said, and Taako laughed. “Have you picked a new place yet?”

“Why homie, want to move in with me?” said Taako.

“I want to know where I can find you,” said Kravitz. “And no offense to your friends, but--”

“Yeah, no,” Taako cut him off, “I’m done with Merle stealing my food. I haven’t decided yet, but I’ve got, oh, a few months.”

“Are you waiting for something?” Kravitz asked.

“Just a matter of timing,” Taako said airily.

They stood by the fountain for a moment, relatively alone and secluded. The square was almost empty, the neighbourhood quiet except for the wind in the trees and the sounds of the city rebuilding. Kravitz tossed his empty cone into the fountain. He never liked the taste of those anyway.

“It’s not that I don’t look like her,” Taako said, and Kravitz knew who he was talking about. “We haven’t looked the same since we were, like, nine. And by the way? We were fucking adorable, you better believe it.”

“God, I bet,” Kravitz said. “Did you have little matching outfits?”

“No, but I can tell you we left matching scorch marks when we were practising magic.” Taako gave him a sidelong grin. “We were little monsters.”

“You two still are,” Kravitz said.

“Shut your filthy mouth,” Taako said. “No one can say that about my sister but me.” His grin faded, but his tone of voice stayed the same: deceptively light. “Every time I look in the mirror I’m reminded I’ve lived a decade without her. I feel like I’ve betrayed her.”

Kravitz looked at him, at Taako. There’d been times, over the past months, where he’d caught Taako staring into space, trailing off in the middle of a sentence. It hadn’t happened often, and it had never seemed all that significant at the time. Looking back, he had to wonder.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” he said. “Especially when Lup is probably dying to do it for you.”

Taako snorted, elbowed Kravitz in the ribs.

“I mean, I’d almost worry sometimes,” Kravitz continued. “The way you two talk to each other? But then, you seem to enjoy it so I have to assume it’s all good.”

“I can really tell you never had siblings,” Taako said, and stuffed half his waffle cone into his mouth.

“Not like you and Lup,” said Kravitz. “But I don’t think anyone’s like you and Lup.”

“Look,” Taako said, and had to stop because he was spraying crumbs everywhere. He swallowed, tried again: “Look, are you trying to flatter me?”

“I don’t need to,” Kravitz said. “You already know you’re amazing.”

“Okay, I know for sure you’re trying to flatter me,” said Taako. “For sure.”

“Is it working?”

With a flick of the wrist, Taako flung the remains of his cone into the fountain. He threw a slightly sticky arm around Kravitz’ neck and kissed him and his lips tasted of coffee and pomegranate juice and sugar. He was warm, as warm as ever, but for some reason Kravitz felt less like he was burning. It was like that, now. Maybe he was getting used to the heat. Maybe he was just warming up.

There was a polite cough right next to them and Kravitz jerked, pulled away. For a bewildering moment, he didn’t know where the noise had come from. Then he blinked and the shape to the left of him, brown and green, bark and leaves and a wreath of soft pink petals, moved.

“You know,” she said, picked up a soggy waffle cone, “I think this is technically littering.”

“What, are you gonna arrest us?” said Taako.

“Uhm,” said Kravitz.

The woman, the dryad, laughed. “No,” she said, “I’m not a cop anymore. Even if I were, I didn’t always stick to the rules.”

“You were a pretty shitty cop,” Taako said.

“Hey now,” the woman said.

“But an amazing racer,” Taako finished.

“Excuse me,” Kravitz said, feeling increasingly out of the loop.

“Hi,” Hurley said, “I’m Hurley.”

“This is Kravitz,” Taako said. “My boyfriend, natch.” He made finger guns at Hurley.

She giggled, and went: “Yeah, I figured. Hey, I just wanted to warn you, there’s a pretty big crowd heading this way. I think you’re busted.” She paused. “I also wanted to say, you know, thanks.”

“Don’t thank me,” Taako said, “you’re still a tree.”

“Sure beats being dead, though.” She smiled. “Tell the guys to visit us sometime.”

“I’ll tell Magnus,” said Taako, “but I’ll go ahead and spare you Merle. I can only see it going one way and that is badly. You’re welcome, by the way.”

As it turned out, there really was a crowd, and they picked that moment to come streaming into the square. In a moment, the place was busy again. It felt like a festival and Kravitz supposed it was, in a sense. After all, everyone had something to celebrate.

After, when they were heading back up to the moonbase, Kravitz said: “Next time, I’m taking you somewhere quiet, like a mountaintop or the astral plane.” He said it with a smile though, because Taako, well. Taako had loved the attention.

He really couldn’t mind too much when he remembered the look on Taako’s face.

“Sure, babe, so long as you take care of transportation,” Taako said. “Sooner or later someone’s going to object to the use of company material.”

They were in one of the spheres, and as they rose Kravitz found himself glad of the warm weight of Taako against him, of the transparent glass. He’d never had a problem with confined spaces before but things kept changing on him, whether he wanted them or not.

“One last thing,” said Kravitz, “about Lup.”

Taako jerked upright, from where he’d been leaning on Kravitz. “Oh shit no,” he said.

“Not like that,” Kravitz said, hurriedly.

“It better not be, my dude,” said Taako. “I love you, but she’s my sister.”

Kravitz swallowed a brief tremor. “No, I’m not going bounty hunter on her. You know I can’t pretend I didn’t notice she’s a lich, though.”

“What are you getting at?” Taako said.

“I’ve had a chat with the Raven Queen,” said Kravitz, “and I can offer hear a deal. Her and Barry. Do you think they’d like being reapers?”

Taako blinked at him, cocked his head. “Oh shit,” he said, and grinned, “that is baller.”

As it turned out, Lup agreed, though her choice of words was ‘sick’.

Chapter Text

Taako didn’t hold a proper housewarming party until over two months later.

Towards the end of the evening, when only the closest core of Taako’s friends and family remained, Lup turned to him and said “Hey Taako, your party is dying down.” She was wearing green, and every time Kravitz caught sight of her it was a shock. Not just because she looked so much like Taako, more so now she was no longer a being of pure magical energy, but because he’d just gotten used to her in red all the time.

“Thank god,” Taako mumbled. He’d been getting increasingly agitated for the past twenty minutes, and was quickly reaching a breaking point.

“What do you say,” she said, an evil shine in her eyes, “we turn that tacky-ass pool of yours into wine?”

“Okay, first,” Taako said, held up a finger, “my pool is fucking fabulous and I will not hesitate to throw you in.” He’d held up a second finger. “And second, hell no. You’re all uninvited as of now, get out of my house.”

“There it is,” Kravitz muttered to himself. It earned him a raised eyebrow from Lup.

Merle, who up till then had been cradled in the loving arms of a massive potted fern, looked like he was about to object. Then Taako had added: “Everyone except Kravitz,” and a knowing look went around the room.

“Looking to christen the new place, huh?” Lup said.

“Breaking in the furniture?” Merle added, with a waggle of his bushy eyebrows.

“Okay, ew,” said Taako.

Merle threw up his arms. “Hey, she said it first!”

“Yeah, but I can take it from her,” Taako said. “I don’t want to hear it from you, you plant-lusting maniac. Get your hands off my fern, by the way, you’ve been fondling it for an hour.”

“She’s sensitive,” Merle said, and everyone just sort of stared.

Magnus was the one to break the horrified silence, when he went: “Okay, buddy,” and simply reached down, slung Merle over his shoulder. “Let’s give them some space.”

“Yeah, let’s,” Lup said. Barry had left two hours ago because he’d nearly fallen asleep in the punch, so it was up to her to provide her own punchline. She did so with judicious application of finger guns. “I’m sure these boys know how to fill it.”

“Lup!” Magnus said.

“No, no,” said Taako, “that’s fair. You make it too easy, Magnus, we keep telling you. Now get lost.”

“You two are just too good,” Magnus mumbled, and trudged out the door. Merle waved, from over his shoulder, and Lup blew a kiss before Taako slammed the door.

“Thank god!” he called out. “Peace, at last! Peace, and privacy.”

“Not to put too fine a point on it, but you’ve had the place for months,” said Kravitz. He idly stacked a few plates, then gave up. The living room was a mess, and it was going to have to wait.

“The time wasn’t right,” Taako said, eyes still on the door.

“Well,” said Kravitz, “She’s back among the corporeal now, so we can all stop hanging around the pod.”

“You know, I can’t wait to actually lock the door and know for a fact none of those doofuses are gonna come strolling in,” Taako said. He turned, aimed a sly smile at Kravitz.

Kravitz held his arms out. “You don’t have to.”

Taako turned and without a sound, blinked out of existence. He popped back moments before crashing into Kravitz, and Kravitz had just enough time to say: “Show-off,” before he was being kissed furiously.

They left the living room for what it was - though Kravitz had no doubt they’d get back to it eventually. He carried Taako upstairs, feeling his way around because it was kind of hard to see with a face full of horny elf.

“No, no, bathroom,” Taako said, when Kravitz reached for the bedroom door.

Kravitz pulled away, went for the bathroom instead. “What are you planning?” he said.

“You’ll see, Kravvy-boy, you’ll see.”

Kravitz had seen the bathroom before. He’d actually seen the whole place before, but neither of them had spent much time in it before today. He didn’t remember it being quite so big, or so lavish. It was barely a bathroom anymore. It had a walk-in sauna, for fuck’s sake, and a giant recessed tub.

“Surprise,” Taako drawled, from where he was still draped around Kravitz’ neck.

“What is all this?” said Kravitz. “This wasn’t here two weeks ago.”

“I’ve done some redecorating,” said Taako, and disentangled his arms from around Kravitz’ neck. He ambled over to the tub, bent down to turn on the taps.

Kravitz shook his head. “Taako, you only just got this place.”

“All the more reason to make it perfect now,” said Taako, “so we get maximum pleasure from it.” He turned, flashed a grin at Kravitz, and threw off his jacket in one fluid motion. It landed on the floor in a sequined heap, and things pretty much escalated from there.

Taako’s shirt joined his jacket, then Kravitz’ jacket did as Taako pulled it off him and tossed it aside, fingers already fumbling with Kravitz’ tie before the jacket hit the floor.

“I am starting to hate your taste in fashion, my dude,” Taako mumbled. Kravitz’ shirt tonight was especially fancy, with tiny pearl buttons. Taako was scrambling at them, his fingers awkward with impatience.

“You liked it this morning, darling,” Kravitz said. He nudged Taako’s hands away, popped open the buttons himself.

Taako watched, fingers fixated on his hands. “That was before I was trying to get you out of it,” he said.

He lunged the moment Kravitz had undone his shirt. At some point, somewhere between Taako flinging off his last scraps of clothing and Kravitz’ realisation he still had his socks on, he found himself pulled into the tub.

“Wait,” he said, pulled away from Taako’s kisses.

“Don’t tell me it’s the tub,” said Taako. “Is it the tub? You having second thoughts vis-a-vis sex in a tub? Because I’m gonna level with you, babe, I’ve been looking forward to this like you wouldn’t imagine.”

Kravitz laughed. Taako was pressed against him and the only piece of clothing left on either of them was Kravitz’ socks. “No,” he said, “I can imagine. And that’s not it.”

A few minutes later, when the water had come up to around their thighs, Kravitz said: “So, in the tub?”

“Hell yeah,” Taako said. He turned, taking Kravitz with him, and flung himself down on a low stone seat.

Kravitz moved in close between Taako’s legs, leaned down to press his face in the elf’s hair. “Is it because I’m cold?”

“Stop freaking out about that,” said Taako.

“If you mind-” Kravitz started.

“If I mind, I’ll let you know the first moment,” Taako said. “You wouldn’t be able to miss it, because I’d be shrieking like you just dropped ice cubes down my pants.” He tugged at Kravitz’ arm, trying to pull him closer.

There wasn’t much closer Kravitz could go, so he turned his head and nuzzled against one of Taako’s long ears. It twitched, in tune with Taako’s cock, under water and just brushing up to Kravitz’ leg.

“Oh shit,” Taako said.

“Is this okay?” said Kravitz, breathing each word against his ear.

“Yeah.” said Taako. “That’s just short of perfect, Krav, if you could just,” he tugged again.

“I physically can’t get any closer,” Kravitz said, and kissed Taako’s ear. It perked up, and Taako’s grip on him tightened for just a brief moment.

“Sit your ass down,” Taako said. “I can’t take this.”

“Hmm,” Kravitz went, and blew out a slow breath.

Taako shivered and said: “You absolute asshole.”

“You don’t mean that,” said Kravitz, and he lifted a knee to the tiled bench, just next to Taako’s leg.

“I love you, but you’re a dick,” Taako said. He squirmed, tried to shift their positions but Kravitz very deliberately settled himself, knees on the bench and ass perched just on Taako’s knees. “And a tease,” Taako said.

“You’re pouting,” said Kravitz. He raised a hand to Taako’s face, kissed him on the lips. Before he knew it, he had wandered back to Taako’s ear.

“No, listen,” Taako mumbled. “This is wholly unacceptable. You need to be much closer.”

Kravitz scooted closer. The water around them rippled, small waves eddying up against Taako’s chest. He was sitting right up against Taako, skin against skin. He didn’t know if it was the hot water, but it seemed to him the difference wasn’t so great now. Despite that, it still felt like fire. A different sort, that burned low and deep.

“Well, this is just worse,” Taako mumbled. His hands were on Kravitz’ shoulders, and they were gripping tight.

“So tell me what you want,” Kravitz said, right into Taako’s ear.

“Get fucked,” Taako said. “You, specifically.”

Kravitz stifled a chuckle. “By you?”

“I mean, yeah,” said Taako. “Do you see any other devastatingly handsome elves in this bathroom?”

“You could’ve just said yes,” Kravitz said, and he braced himself on the edge of the tun one-handedly, using the other hand to hold Taako steady as he sat squarely onto his cock.

“Oh, yes,” Taako went, using his unique talent of making a three-letter word sound like an entire sentence.

He buried his face against Kravitz’ shoulder, and somewhat distractedly, Kravitz realised that mean his left ear was brushing into his face. On a whim, Kravitz leaned in and bit at it, gently. That got him at least seven more syllables worth of sound, though none of it was intelligible.

“I’ve found your weakness,” he said.

“That’s hardly fair,” said Taako. His hands had wandered to Kravitz’ hips and he was pushing, bucking in the warm water. “You know mine, but I don’t know yours.”

Kravitz held on tight. It felt like his breath was being knocked out of him, and for a moment the water was sticky against his skin, pulling at him. He struggled to breathe, but Taako’s hands were on him, and he was in him, and he was warm and full and absolutely, deliriously alive.

He let out a shaky breath and said: “That would be you, Taako.”

“You’re a softie,” Taako said, “you big, bad reaper man.”

Kravitz had no answer for that, but that was okay because he was too busy feeling good. He figured Taako would forgive him for the lack of a witty response. After all, when Taako came it was with nothing but a soft moan against Kravitz’ collarbone, and then no words at all for a little while as he reached down and helped Kravitz the rest of the way.

They sat there for a moment, and then Taako freed one arm from their tight hug to reach over the lip of the tub and press a hidden button. Streams of bubbles broke the surface of the water. One of the jets was right next to Kravitz’ knee and the bubbles rushed along his skin on their way up.

“I should’ve known it was a bubble bath,” he said, and shifted. “That tickles.”

“Hell yeah, my dude,” Taako said, sounding nothing less than perfectly satisfied.

“You’re so over the top,” Kravitz said. “Was it everything you imagined?”

“I’m exactly the right amount.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Kravitz mumbled. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he said it.

Taako grinned up at him. “And I don’t know. I think we should try again, just to be sure.”

Kravitz snorted, pushed himself up with shaking arms. “Tomorrow,” he said as he climbed out of the tub.

He was still warm when Taako joined him in the bedroom. Compared to the bathroom, it was surprisingly understated, so long as the wardrobe doors were closed. Kravitz opened his arms wide and Taako dove right in, curled up against him.

“It’s weird,” Taako said, after a moment. “I’m so used to being on the road, sharing a wagon. Or a ship.”

“You’ve got a house now,” said Kravitz. “Think you’ll get used to it?”

Taako sighed. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I could get used to this. Of course, I still need to name the place. They’ve all had names; the Starblaster, the Secret Moonbase, the Zesty Wagon.”

“Oh my god,” Kravitz went.

“Look, to my credit, I didn’t name the Starblaster.” Taako paused, “Not on my own, anyway.”

“The wagon?” Kravitz managed.

“Yeah, that one’s on me,” Taako admitted. He was quiet for a moment, and Kravitz started to drift off. Then Taako said: “Taakotopia.”

Kravitz groaned and went: “No, I’m not living in a house called Taakotopia.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from Taako and Kravitz cracked open one eye. Taako had covered his mouth with both hands, but he still managed: “Okay homie, you -- you think of a better one.”

Kravitz yawned. “Hmm,” he said. “Gingerbread house.” That sent Taako into a fit of giggles, and it took Kravitz another half an hour to actually fall asleep.

As much as they tried over the following weeks, naming a house turned out to be more difficult than expected. In the end, Lup got so sick of the whole process that she took matters into her own hands. They returned from a brief vacation to find her lounging by the front door, above which hung a shiny new plaque that read: “Abraca-cottage”.

(“Hey, that’s wrong and I am offended,” Taako said. “This is a mansion, not a cottage, you dingus.”

“Just leaving you some room to improve,” said Lup, and just like that, the house was named.)