Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This was actually a nice evening out in the disco, not a single joke about your small breasts until now. Though your Friend said it was probably because everyone thought you were a boy with your short hair, pants, and T-shirt. Probably true but still.
Your small boobs actually weren´t that bad. You didn´t even have to wear a bra today with your loose shirt, and no dumb pick-ups until now.

Thirsty from dancing your ass off you went to the bar to get a drink. "One Crush Tear please!" You told the bartender, taking a seat at the bar.

"Wow, your breasts must be in the Guinness world records for being that small, dear."

"EXCUSE ME?!" You protested, spinning around your bar stool to face the one commenting with the kind of sexy deep voice. Which made you accidentally ram into his outstretched arm that was probably meant to be on your shoulder by now.
Instead, he got a (figuratively) full hand of boob. You stared at him in complete shock, turning redder every second. Because he was an incredibly tall skeleton guy with a bad boy aura, tall, scars, gold toot...smirking down at you with the most pleased but devious grin. And he wasn´t taking his hand away.
You just woke up from your daze when he lightly pinched your nipple. Face flaming red you pushed his arm away, hard, which unfortunately made your stool topple. You felt yourself falling and closed your eyes, bracing yourself for the impact. But you were caught in a bony embrace instead, the stranger had somehow gotten behind you real fast.
And now you were pressed flush against his body, his chin on your shoulder and his hands right under your boobs, slowly wandering up. As you wanted to free yourself again and tell him to kindly fuck off he whispered in your ear.

"Well, sweetheart. It seems I was right about your size." His hands crept up further, but you also felt a bulge growing in your back. He purred: "Since you could call me a ...collector of the goods you offer, I think I´ll make you the star piece of my collection."

Alternative version:
Its the 90s. You and your friends went out to boogie night and you wanted to get youself something to drink, when the skeleton next to you tried his best pick up: "Dang girl you sport some nice and tiny huhas, wanna have some fun in my van?"
You kicked against the barstool, hitting his legs with it and went away without a word, but with a nice drink.

Chapter Text

He put his long, hard, kind of…crusty? baguette (which is a metaphor for his penis) into her vagina and vajazzeled her with his french dressing.

Chapter Text

This time, everything was going smoothly. He had invited the madame to dine in his brothers restaurant and now they were ontheir way, back to his appartement, to drink a bit of wine and see what might happen. He was giddy as a kid, when he sat on the sofa, next to the beautiful madame.
She turned towards him, pure seduction in her look, as she eyed the bulge in his pants. “Oh chérie, is that the tour d´eiffel in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?” she purred. He looked into her eyes, returning the lusty stare. “Oh, well of course chérie.” he answered, opened his pants and pulled a miniature version of said tour out.

He slept wonderful this night, satisfied and alone.

Chapter Text

As without and Papyrus sat at the breakfast table, listening to the news, eating some croissants and drinking hot chocolate, or hot french dressing in Without´s case, they suddenly heard this:

-TRANSLATED FROM FRENCH-

“Well Chantal, it appears there´s a tiny, yellow bird attempting to fly up to the top of the tour d´eiffel. Rescue teams have been sent there and the police chef Undyne is screaming from the second floor. Let´s hope she can deescalate this situation!”

Oh, if that wasn´t the little monsterbird from underground. They looked at each other, determined, as Without grabbed Papyrus hands and immediately teleported them. With their gravity magic, maybe they could help. They landed in a crowd that had gathered around the base. Next to them, a human had their radio on.

“Update Chantal, I´m at the second floor now, and it seems the bird is above us now. Also Undyne doesn´t seem to use a megaphone? And just screaming? But we heard it from the ground!!”

The news reporter seemed a bit overwhelmed with the whole situation. Meanwhile the bird could still be seen, a small yellow spot, that was now close to the top! People began to cheer, screaming enthusiastic, as the bird got closer and closer. But OH NO! Screams were heard when a strong blow of wind hit the little bird, and nearly smashed it into the tower!

BUT IT STAYED DETERMINED!

With one last, mighty flap, it finally reached the top. The crowd exploded, rescue teams hurrying up, news team gathering at the exit, to interview the unexpected hero bird. When it finally reached the bottom again, this time by elevator, they stormed the poor thing.

It was on national TV now! Important questions were asked, screamed at the poor thing from all sides. And then, the unexpected! As the skelebros reached the elevator too, it showed a thumbs up, grinned and winked (like Lee from Naruto) and simply flew away. An angry Undyne chasing it, because technically this whole thing was still a crime.

Without couldn´t stop laughing, as the bird flew into the sunset, chased by Undyne who was chased by news reporters.
Guess he owed that bird 10 bucks.

Chapter Text

It was another boring day at the crêpe stall. Without had just gotten the fresh ones from his brothers restaurant, and noone was in sight, so he decided to take a little nap. A french skeleton needs his beauty sleep!

He woke up to a cute, feminine voice. “Uhm pardon? Could I get three crêpes?” A small, cute human girl was standing in front of him, wearing a striped dress and a cute, galaxy patterned hairband in her dark blue hair. Her eyes were a really light colour, nearly seeming to emit light. The sleeves went over her hands, it looked just like she didn´t have hands.

For a cutie like that, he could interrupt his nap.
“Well of course.” he said, readying the order. As he handed the crêpes over, they both noticed she couldn´t carry three of them, her handy were simply too small. She gave him a small, unsure smile, looking really embarrassed about this situation.

He frowned. That girl just made his day brighter, he didn´t want to be the one to ruin hers. So, impulsive as he was, he leaned over quickly and stacked it onto her head.

Her eyes widened and began to sparkle. “Hey, this may be a weird request but… can you stack more?” she laughed. How could he say no to that bright smile.
“Well, I´d like to stack a skele-ton of them.” he winked, and she laughed again.

And so they got to this point, him standing of the stalls roof and stacking crêpes on her head, until he couldn´t reach anymore. “Whelp.” he said as he jumoed down the roof. “69 is my favourite anyways.” he winked.
The girl let ouf a snort of laughter and blushed a bit, impressively not even making the crêpetower on her head move one bit. “Well, next time I want some fun, I might just do it with you, *sans* the crêpes” she winked, leaving his jaw hanging as she walked away, swaying hips and swaying crêpetower. Man, what a woman.

Chapter Text

Legos superspecialawesome Pokéventure!

It was a nice, sunny day in the forest. But the trees were standing so close together that the only place the sun could actually reach the ground was the broad path. Three trainers were following it deeper into the dark and mysterious woods. Even though many people would consider the forest scary, those three were excited to explore it. The air had a pleasant smell of damp soil and pine and even without much sunlight it was pleasantly warm.

A perfect day to discover a new region and catch some new Pokémon!

“Hey you guys, stop for a sec!” the leader of the small group called out as he suddenly stopped walking. “I saw something glowing in the forest!”

“What where?” “I didn’t see anything.” The others answered.

“Right there guys!” He screamed, pointing into the dark. Now the others could see it too, a pastel turquoise light appearing and disappearing between the trees, deep in the forest.
“Could be a ghost type.” The smart one mused “But I’ve read through the Pokédex and none of the Pokémon we could encounter in this region is known to glow in that color.” She added.

“Oh my god maybe it’s a shiny! Or an unknown one! OR A LEGENDARY!” the leader squealed. “Come on let’s GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he screamed, already running off into the woods, Smartie following right behind him.

“Wait guys! The old man from town warned us that the forest is cursed and that we should never leave the path!” The smallest of the group called behind them. Maybe they couldn’t hear him anymore or maybe they simply didn’t care, but they kept on going. He looked around, debating if it was safer to be with his friends or to be on the curse free path.

But when he saw a dark shadow going above him and heard the flapping of heavy wings, his decision was made in seconds. “WAIT FOR MEEEEE!” he screamed as he ran after them. Just when they all were out of sight, a cute little Butterfree could finally land on the nice patch of grass and flowers right next to the path. Finally, some silence!

Suddenly, the group came to a screeching halt. Meaning the leader suddenly stopped running and his companions comically bumped into him, sliding down nearly knocked out while he was standing stiff as a statue. In front of them was a creature unlike any they ever saw. A cat like monster with its fur glowing the pastel turquoise they saw from the path, but with all of its bones visible. It turned around, giving them a curious, friendly look. Apparently it hadn’t expected the group to chase after it.

“Whooooa!” all three said. “That’s so cool!” the leader marveled. “And so cute.” Smartie squealed. “Yeah if you mean cool and cute equal creepy as fuck.” Smallie added. The being gave him a scowl that made him back away, but was distracted when Smartie made a step towards it to hug it, getting ready to glomp her happily.

“WAIT NO HUGGING! I GOTTA CATCH IT FIRST!” the leader screamed, making Smartie step back and the being whip its head around to him, growling now. But he, not educated about even the simplest rules of common curtesy, already pulled one of his Pokéballs out.

“GOOO RAICHU!” “Rai Raichuuu!” the Pokémon roared as it sprang free from its ball. But before he could yell an order to attack, the strange being moved its head to its waist. Where, as they now could clearly see a belt was. A belt with Pokéballs.

Carefully grabbing one with its teeth, it threw its head back towards them, releasing the Pokéball. Out of the ball came a cat like Pokémon, the same size as the “Pokémon” he had wanted to capture.

“Umbreon.” It stated calmly, ready for battle.

If anyone were to witness this scene, they would surely have broken down in laughter at the flabbergasted expressions the three wore.

“What the fuuuuuuuuck.” was the only thing they could say before their brains shut down completely and they passed out.

Smartie woke up in the Pokécenter of the next town, feeling healthy and refreshed, wondering how her brain could dream of such strange things. But she kinda wished it was not just her imagination, she still wanted to hug that fluffy little cutie…

Two days later the guys came stumbling into the next town, looking haggard and out of their minds. When they started telling people that there was a Pokémon Pokétrainer in that forest, people laughed and called them crazy. Even more when they stated that strange being had robbed them blank too and released all of their Pokémon, only two liking them enough to stay with them and help them out of the forest. They were finally chased out of town after they tried to start a mob for chasing the being down.

The moral of the story is: Always go with hugs first.
And the legendary cookie can never be caught.

Chapter Text

He looked around the Christmas market, looking for his mate. They were supposed to meet up at the entrance 5 minutes ago, and he was getting nervous. To make his dilemma perfect, of course his phone couldn’t get a connection at this place. So, he had to choose between either waiting and getting nervous or walking for a bit, trying to get a signal and risk missing her.

Just as he was about to go with plan B he saw a flash of her red coat in the crowd, trying to get through to him. Relieved, he allowed himself a small smile and started walking towards her. He loved her wearing this coat. The same shade as his beloved scarf.

She just came home with it one day, beaming and told him “Look now you’ll never be able to lose me in a crowd AND we match!” The small gesture of consideration meant a lot to him. After years on the surface with his mate he still worried about losing her, about not being able to protect her, especially in big crowds.

His eyesight wasn’t that good due to his scarred eye. And even after years of therapy he couldn’t bear to wear his glasses anywhere but at home, where she could tell him how good he looked with them. Where no one would see them as a sign of weakness and use it for their advantage.

He had other ways to sense danger coming fast enough, but his reputation had always been crucial to protecting him and his brother Underground. How was he supposed to let go of that, especially with this many possible threats around? And with a new, very important person to protect?

Reaching her, he quickly hid the fond smile and scoffed.

“You’re late.”

“Yeah I’m so sorry. I wanted to be here early but my colleague had to leave for an emergency in the family and then some really sick kid had to vomit on the floor and the girl from next shift can’t stand the smell like really bad, so I was the only person able to mop it up and of course mop it up really good so she could actually work and well I missed the bus. And I would’ve been on time still but all these people made it so hard to go fast enough…” She babbled, trying to catch her breath.

“You’re excused. I’m guessing you messaged me, but our meeting point rendered my phone useless. So, me not knowing was partly my fault.”

She nodded, still breathing a bit heavy from hurrying over to him and her rambling. Her cheeks were red too. Just too cute, as always. He couldn’t be mad at her or even stern with her for too long. After all he had suggested the meeting point, so it was mostly his fault. And after a day like that, she really didn’t need him nagging at her over being five minutes late.

“Well then, shall we go? Where do you want to go first?” he asked.

“I’d like to look around the booths for a bit first. I still need to get some presents, for you brother for example.” She said, eyes looking up at him, pleading.
“Maybe you could…”

“Yes, I will help you, but we should really get going. We are blocking the path.” He proposed, taking her hand as they started to make their way to the entrance.

He tightened his grip when they entered the market, people around them slowing to a pace he could only call sluggish, people getting closer. He didn’t enjoy going this slow in a crowd, but he figured it would be nice for his mate after running around in the shop all day, so he didn’t mind terribly. After all, the people around them seemed fairly harmless and distracted by everything the market had to offer.

As the space between the booths got even narrower, it became harder to go forward, as the occasional person nearly bumped into her and then hurried on, not even apologizing, or thanking her for stepping aside. He scowled.

“Straighten your back and look ahead. Don’t look away when someone is heading towards you. Or we’ll never get through all of these assholes.“ He instructed, laying an arm around her shoulders and scowling for good measure.

And, of course, it worked. “That’s right.” He thought, a pleased grin on his face. “You don’t dare to mess with the Great and Terrible Papyrus or his mate!”

After one hour of walking from booth to booth in slow motion and looking at an overwhelming variety of the usual Christmas trinkets and a bit more unusual stuff, they had gotten through only one half of the market. Drained, they settled down on a bench below the big Christmas tree on the opposite end of the market.

He had insisted on getting them both a hot drink, apple cinnamon punch for himself and hot cherry wine for his mate. Now they were happily warming up (mostly their hands) and munching away on some roasted almonds he had gotten for them to share.

“Sorry that we couldn’t go on for longer.” She suddenly muttered. “Just, my feet were really starting to hurt.”

“There’s nothing to be apologizing for. This is quite nice. Surely nicer than having to push through this wall of imbeciles.” He answered a bit surprised.

When she didn’t answer and just kept staring ahead he silently confessed “I am exhausted actually. Going through so many people with my mind constantly going through scenarios takes quite a lot out of me. Nevertheless, it was nice to see you enjoying the atmosphere and the booths. And hey, you got that awful mustard pear liquor for my brother, so I guess the goal is achieved anyways.”

She snickered at that. “Hey, you were the one that suggested it and then made me taste it first to observe my reaction!”

Letting out a low chuckle himself, he pulled her against his side, her head resting on his chest and carefully wrapped both of his arms around her, trying hard not to spill any of their drinks.

“But I also got the vendor to sell it for only half of the original price.” He countered, tucking her head under his chin. They proceeded sitting and sipping in comfortable silence.
When their drinks were finally empty, she moved to return the mugs. Both standing, he grabbed her back and pulled her against him, tilting her head up to look into her eyes.

“You know,” he murmured “you are the one person that would make everything enjoyable for me. No matter what we are doing. And you know, the simple pleasures are my favorites. Like this” he said, a mischievous spark in his eye sockets, as he moved to kiss her, deep and affectionate.

They only stopped when they heard the sound of breaking ceramic. The whole ride home he proceeded to tease her about their four dollar kiss.

Chapter Text

YOU!!! On ice (aka you still haven’t watched Yuri!!! on ice you dipshit)

It was a nice Saturday afternoon and you and your friends had planned to meet up and go ice skating. The nerd part of the group (including you) had just recently finished watching the new, amazing anime Yuri!!! On ice and was burning to try out their “skills”. Well, mostly those who didn’t really do ice skating so far. You, having some experience from your childhood, knew your limits, unlike the others. You could do the most amazing, super fancy things: going forwards and going backwards. But it was nice to see people get excited, and the rest of your group would do things more casual anyways.

Currently, you were still waiting for the two animaniacs that initiated the whole thing, Undyne, and Alphys, Weeaboos grade A. They had wanted to gather some of their friends you didn’t know yet to join you, Alphys kept texting updates of their progress into the group chat.

BORN TO MAKE HISTORY
Small Al: We just gathered our friends. So sorry to keep you guys waiting, hope you don’t mind waiting too much. ^.^°
Small Al: I mean it’s sunny outside, so you should be nice and warm and not freeze. ^.^
Small Al: Wait omg don’t humans have like super sensitive skin sometimes?!!! And if you don’t put on sunscreen you get stuff like blisters and it will hurt and take ages to go away?!!!!! O.O
Small Al: I mean it’s still winter but… wait the snow should reflect the sunlight… >.>
Small Al: Sooo you’d be getting the double dose of sunlight, right?
Small Al: PLEASE TELL ME YOU PUT ON SUNSCREEN!!!! \°O°/
Cheesy Cameo: Al calm down, no one is getting burned and we are waiting in the shade anyways. No worries.
Small Al: Ok ok ok. We will be there in 5 minutes!
Cheesy Cameo: See nothing better than panicking to pass the time right :D

You heard your friend call “Ey Jelly, are you coming? The others just realized they need skates, so we’re going to rentals now.” You raised your head, looking at your friends and sure enough the group was already heading inside. You nodded, catching up to them and shooting the others a short message.

BORN TO MAKE HISTORY
Cheesus: We are already heading inside now, a few of the group need to rent skates. Meeting you inside!

Man, you’d never find out how in the world your friend managed to manipulate your phone into showing that ridiculous nickname instead of just showing “me”. Though you’d bet a good amount of money she somehow got Alphys to help. Smiling you paid your fee and quickly followed the others into the arena. There were already some people skating, hits of the 90s blasting as loud as the owners probably could without getting in trouble. Sitting down with the group you started to get dressed.

“Ha! Done!” Your friend exclaimed beside you. A glance revealed why: she wore plastic skates. “Don’t worry, I will wait for you except if they play Toxic. You know I can’t resist the dark side.” You laughed, already nearly done when the next song started, and just like a bad prophecy, it was Britney, “Sorry! Don’t be too jelly ok?” Your friend called out, already running onto the ice, nearly tripping over her own feet. Moron you thought, amused by her antics of dancing with the others. Not even a Moldsmal would call that a sexy wiggle.
As you finished tying your skates, you heard a sound like a horse running on bladed hooves, doors banging and Undyne screaming behind you. “WATCH OUT NERDS, WE’RE HERE!” Running past you in a split-second, she threw herself on the ice, Alphys in her arms. A tall skeleton monster, dressed for the occasion in lots of bright neon colors, ran after her. You couldn’t even make out what colors exactly he was wearing, it was just too bright. Apparently, all of them had already put on their entire skating outfits, including the skates, in the car. You hoped Undyne didn’t drive with those on.

They immediately joined the rest of your friends, who just had started a huge conga line, or, well, Undyne and the skeleton seemed to be pushing the rest of the group, the ones in front desperately trying not to crash into something or someone. You snorted, shaking your head. Maybe it would be best to wait until the next song, to avoid causalities. But where’s the fun in that? You decided to join them anyways. Not like things would get less crazy.

At least the monsters in your friend group seemed to know what they were doing, you had been worried since they told you they had only been ice skating a few times on a frozen pond, and that had sounded quite different from the ice skating you knew, because apparently, they were just sliding across the ice, trying to get a ball in a hole. But hey, you wished you actually gained money from ice skating too.

As you got up, you noticed another, shorter skeleton had sat down beside you during the shenanigans, grinning up at you now, while he blocked your path with his legs. “hey human. don’t you wanna greet a new pal?” He said, sticking his hand out to shake yours. You reached out to take it when you heard the first notes of “I will survive” and a memory shot through your head. Your eyes widened in recognition.

“Wait. Are you the guy Undyne warned me about? The one that always pranks his handshakes?” You asked, grabbing and inspecting his hand. Sure enough, a buzzer. “oh she warns people now? i’ll have to up my game. if it’s not too much effort. name’s sans. sans the skeleton.”

“Hey Sans. What a shocking introduction. Everyone calls me Jelly. Want to join the others now?” You said, waiting for him to move his legs.
“nah don’t think i can do that jells. but go on ahead without me.” You raised your eyebrows: So, there was a monster that couldn’t skate after all. Waiting here until all of you were done would be boring as fuck though. Smiling, you made up your mind. “Well, if you have a problem with skating, I can skate backward, so I can pull you until you learned to balance yourself if you want to!” you offered.

His grin widened a bit before he answered, “sure pal. mind helping me up?” he asked.

“Oh no of course not!” Reaching for his hand to pull him up you felt a shock when you touched his hand. Baffled, you just stood still for a second, eyes wide, when you realized that OF COURSE he still held the friggin buzzer. You took his hand even though you knew. A snort got you back into reality. “heh. seems like I don’t need to worry about getting new tricks after all. sorry, i’ll pocket it for now.” He said, taking the buzzer off.

You let out an amused huff. “Pfft. I ran right into that one. Let’s hope I’ll do better while skating. Come on let’s go.” You laughed, really pulling him up this time and making your way to the arena. Oddly enough he was already wearing skates too. Though, Undyne probably threatened not to let him into her car without them.

After you got on the ice you held out your hand for him to take. He was already standing on the ice, steady, but with one hand on the railing. In one swift motion he released the railing grabbed your other hand, looking pretty relaxed. Maybe he’ll get the hang of it soon, you thought, as you started to skate backwards.

Half an hour later you were still pulling him. The two of you had nearly crashed about 15 times, with him always only warning you last second, and whenever you had asked something like “Feeling up to do it alone now?” he had answered “nah, thanks.” while gripping your hands a bit tighter. But on the plus side, he kept you entertained with puns, though most of them had been plain horrible.

You noticed your friends starting to leave the ice for a break and some hot beverages.

“Let’s catch a break too ok?” You asked Sans, already going towards the exit.

“k jells.” he acknowledged, the both of you getting out and sitting down at the bench, next to the other skeleton.

“OH HELLO OTHER HUMAN FRIEND! I DIDN’T HAVE A CHANCE TO INTRODUCE MY AMAZING SELF TO YOU YET! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! YOU SEEM TO ALREADY BE WELL ACQUAINTED WITH MY BROTHER, SANS, SO I WON’T HAVE TO INTRODUCE YOU TWO I GUESS. ANYWAYS!! ANYONE WILLING TO PUT UP WITH THE LAZINESS OF MY BROTHER FOR THIS LONG HAS TO HAVE AN ADMIRABLE STAMINA AND A GENTLE SOUL, SO IT’S A PLEASURE TO PROPERLY MEET YOU!” he announced.

You blinked. Even though you already heard him on the ice, that voice was even louder now, sitting next to him, but it didn’t derail you for too long as you stuck your hand out to shake Papyrus’ “Well it’s a pleasure to meet you too! Everyone calls me Jelly so…” Wait. He said… Did that mean…

You abruptly turned towards the shorter skeleton. “Sans. This might be a strange question, but… do you know how to ice skate?”

“of course i do buddy.” He answered, laughter barely hidden. You curled into yourself, hands over your head and groaned. You could barely hear his brother lecturing him about laziness and the etiquette of using friends, silently recalling every time you talked about his inability to skate. He didn’t say he couldn’t skate once. Not even a hint. You didn’t ask if he could once. You just assumed, and he not only knew but he kept it going because he was friggin lazy.

“I WALKED RIGHT INTO THAT ONEEEEEEE.” You started laughing, startling them both. After coming down from your laughing fit, you returned your attention to Papyrus, “Ah Papyrus, thanks for defending me, but that was honestly my fault for just assuming. Though maaan you knew exactly what I was thinking right?” you inquired, and Sans, not being able to hold back his laughter anymore answered, “sure did.”

You groaned again. “Ok ok that’s borderline genius. But I’m afraid I don’t really have the energy to pull you the rest of the day. You’ll have to trick someone else now.”
“meh not that bad. had a pretty good run with you. though i guess i could treat you to a hot choc or something later, to make up for wasted energy. i mean, as pap just lectured me it’s only polite.”

You peaked up at that. Hot chocolate? Hell yeah.

“I think I’d like that” you answered, smiling. This was the beginning of something punderful.

Chapter Text

Red stared at the little jellyfish in its glass. In its own perfect little World, not depending on anything or anyone. It had been a gift from his brother, after they had come to the surface and he had moved out, finally getting that independency he craved. His brother had gifted him the jellyfish in the self sustaining biosphere because he let him keep the pet rock.

„AFTER A LONG AND EXHAUSTING QUEST I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE PERFECT PET FOR YOU, BROTHER! NOW YOU WILL NEVER BE LONELY, EVEN IF YOU DECIDE TO BE LAZY!“, he had announced and laughed proudly. It really was funny, because he hadn’t seen anyone for days at this point.

Moving out itself had been really nice. Red was free from everything that had annoyed him about them living together. No big brother nagging him anymore, his socks could stay wherever he wanted them to, he could get home whenever he wanted and bring home whoever he wanted. Though he really wished his brother would be nagging him now.

The whole appartement was a mess, a bad mess. Dirty dishes were starting to form new life in his sink, the couch was more socks than actual couch and his trash tornado had grown to a size, at which it soon would be the neighbours‘ problem as well.

Welp, not like he cared.

He turned his head away from the jellyfish, instead looking up at the ceiling. After not even a year in his own place the ceilings and walls all started to look yellowish, with stains and paint cracking and peeling. Like a place that has been lived in for too long. And maybe it was just that.

In the past when he had his episodes, when he would feel like nothing mattered he had just stared at the jellyfish for hours. Its slow, elegant movements had just captured his attention and calmed, no, soothed him. It was just the fact that this little jellyfish could survive forever in this perfect little world. It had always reminded him that nice things lasted a lot longer than he expected them to, due to his depression and experiences.

„heh, what a joke.“, he thought bitterly. The damn thing didn’t do anything to soothe him now.

It only served as a reminder of how fucking wrong he had been again.

In a fit of rage, he grabbed for the sphere, throwing it against his wall. Instead of shattering, it just bounced off the wall, sphere and jellyfish landing in a heap of clothing, unharmed.

He watched it,stunned for a moment before he started laughing hysterically. This was just too good.

„why is it you living forever?“, he asked into the silent room. His voice was quiet and hoarse from not using it for so long, and from the crying of the last weeks.

„why not him.“

Chapter Text

Two am. Two am on a weekday and Edge couldn’t sleep. This was throwing him off his perfect sleep schedule. And it wasn't because he wasn’t tired, oh no, he was very tired. And he didn’t even have to pull an all nighter or something. He had been lying in his bed for four hours, wide awake.

Just because he was so god damn pissed. His mind kept running in circles, not letting him rest. The whole day had just been one disaster after another, and while he did at least solve all the bigger problems, he didn’t get one minute to breathe and think. And then the incident at dinner. It was just supposed to be a nice outing with his brother, a weekly thing they did to catch up now that they didn’t live in the same apparment anymore. He was looking forward to it, just pleasant conversation and nice food he didn't have to cook.

But what he got instead was an awful evening, because the waitress at the place had been one he had a history with. Back then she had been angry about him complaining about her dog. He usually minded his own business, but the little dog had been right next to his booth, barking and jumping at him the whole time, and she didn’t want to remove him. And after the manager got her to bring the dog to the backrooms, she had passive aggressively ruined his dinner with everything she could. Just like tonight.

He also was angry at himself for not just leaving right away. But he liked the tiny italian restaurant, and they accepted his brothers weird relationship with mustard. And now he’d probably have to find another place, or complain about her again, or …

He sighed. There was no use, he just couldn’t calm down. He needed some distraction. Grabbing his phone from the nightstand, he began texting Slim. He knew there was a good chance the other was awake, always a night owl. And a day sloth, as he called himself, Edge thought, smiling, as he shot him a quick text.

Me: Hey, are you awake?

He went out of the chat and into his browser to read a bit more of that article he had found in the morning and still didn’t get to finish. Already engrossed in the world of axolotls, he nearly missed the incoming reply.

Slim: uh yeah? y are you awake though? is somethin up?

He tapped the preview, smiling slightly and replied.

Me: Yes, there is. Nothing urgent, it’s just… I had an awful day, “shitty” as you’d say. And I just can’t find sleep because my mind is still in stress mode. Any suggestions?

He saw the other typing.

Slim: well wanna taco bout it? *tacoemoji*

Edge made a face, typing again.

Me: *frisk emoji* Really? You didn’t even try with that one. And no, I don’t really. It’s not really something to be talked about more, I already vented with Sans but… I am still peeved. The whole day just left me drained and annoyed and now I can’t even rest properly. The only good thing about today was seriously a suggestion of an article about axolotls. That’s how bad it was. And I didn’t even get to read it. Maybe I am going to do that now, since I can’t find any sleep anyways…

He sighed, clicking into the article again. If it was the best thing about his day he might as well enjoy it. Ignoring the incoming beeps in favor to read another paragraph, he went back to the chat again.

Slim: ah i feel that.

Slim: thats shitty, “indeed” as you would say heh

Slim: is it that one article named forever young?
Slim: that was so good
Slim: had no idea these lil freaks were that cool

Ah, so Slim had read it too. Despite his still sour mood, Edge could feel a smile creeping on his face. Since Slim didn’t care that much about water creatures, it getting suggested to him was probably because of all the articles he sent him. And if he read it, mybe... Well Aquatic biology was just so nice. One day he would surely get a gigantic aquarium… he smiled, thinking of his dream. Just a big tank to separate the kitchen and living room. When he finally had his own house… another ding sound brought him back to reality.

Slim: so where in the article are you? i got an idea.

Me: I am currently at the part linking them to the discovery of stem cells? Why?

He waited for a reply, but instead his phone rang. Slim. He took the call, asking

“Slim, what is that idea. I don't think talking about stuff will help me...” He stopped as he heard the other begin to speak in his low, gentle tone.

“Axolotls exhibit Neoteny. Neoteny means that a creature can reach maturity without going through metamorphosis. In less extreme cases, it’s simply exhibiting juvenile traits after reaching adulthood. Axolotls are a great example of neoteny because as they grow bigger, they never mature. Unlike tadpoles or similar animals, axolotls hold on to their gills and stay in the water, despite actually growing lungs…”

Edge smiled, laying back onto his pillow. He always liked being read to. Putting the phone next to him, he closed his eyes and let the words wash over him.

Slim yawned at the start of the last part of the article. It really was late now.

“sorry, getting a lil tired myself” he apologized to Edge, getting no answer. Confused, he listened more closely, whispering “Edge?”. He was rewarded with a soft snore, followed by deep, relaxed breaths. Smiling to himself he put the phone next to himself and listened. Luckily he had unlimited minutes, he thought, as he finally dozed off too.