1 - 20 of 259 Works in Suicidal Sam Winchester

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Solar comforts Sam while he’s in detox

     

    Sam doesn’t know what’s real

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    772
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    18
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Sam hates himself after demon blood was forced onto him again

    An old (now fallen) angel friend from before Lucifer rose is here to set things straight

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,189
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    43
  3. Tags
    Summary

    How Sam and Dean viewed their father relied heavily on what they did and did not know. John Winchester was the kind of man you loved despite his faults or hated despite his efforts.

     

    (READ THE TAGS‼️ )

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    682
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    118
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “我说真的。”Sam的语气很冷静。
    “你在开玩笑吧。”Dean干巴巴地说,“不好笑。不要开这种玩笑。”
    “我没在开玩笑,”Sam死死盯着屏幕,录取邮件在他眼前虚化、发焦,他猛地站了起来,手机开了免提,大步走到厨房,把煤气灶全都打开,“听到声音了吗?”“搞什么鬼、”Dean喃喃着,和Sam愈发平静的声音叠在一起,“如果你不跟我走,我就自杀。我说到做到。”
    “搞什么鬼、”Dean大声叫了起来,“Sam,搞什么鬼!”
    “我不会让你跟着爸爸去送死。”Sam笃定地说道,“如果你非得那样,我就死在你前头。”

     

    //Pre-series,前期发生在Sam大学期间、跃进式向后期发展。

    极端控制狂Sam,Dean单性转,半原作向
    Sam噩梦幻象Dean惨死、强行将姐姐留在身旁;Dean在安抚Sam的同时偷偷猎魔,装作一切如常。两个人都以为一切在控制之下。
    直到嫉妒与控制的走偏、谎言的败露、恶魔血的显现……事态迅速失控、变得愈发疯狂。

    警告:非自愿性行为、underage、他人/主角(为激发主角嫉妒设置、非拆cp行为)、详细暴力描写、狗血、修罗场

    Language:
    中文-普通话 國語
    Words:
    14,908
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    593
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Sam spared one final glance at the burnt ruins of his home. With his life gone, Sam wished for death.

    __
     

    It wasn’t like Sam completely abandoned all food in an instant. Whether it was a life on the run, or life as a homeless college freshman; time, money, food, they had always been scarce. The only difference now, was that Sam had no tactical reason to limit his intake of food. He was just doing it. Deliberately.

    __

     

    The very obvious factor Sam hadn’t accounted for was that losing weight was noticeable. Very noticeable.

    “Sam, you are killing yourself.” Dean shouted, loud enough to make Sam flinch. “You are killing yourself, you see that? Tell me you see that.”

    “Yeah, well, maybe I want to!”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,050
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    172
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    1,600
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Sam is sick and is going to turn into a monster. He doesn’t want to go through that, and he could never let Dean die with him. And Dean? Well, he never had a choice about it.

    or

    What if Sam makes a drastic decision before they realize that all the people infected with Croatoan in the town have disappeared. Dean, for the first time, had no say over Sam.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    990
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    427
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Sam's always known there was something wrong with him. Sam's always coped with this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,112
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    518
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Sam is so unstable. His self-harm gets worse and Dean notices, and it comes to a head one day. Sam can't be fixed.
    (This is a part two in a series.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,557
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    645
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Sam has had about enough of Lucifer. He's not even real and Sam can't seem to get rid of him. He just wants to go to sleep. Why won't he let him sleep?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,902
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    919
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Sam opens his eyes, and sees the Devil.

    He’s not real. He’s not real. He’s not real.

    “What’s the difference?” Lucifer argues with the voice in Sam’s head, and isn’t that funny. Lucifer’s tone is still soft, Lucifer always talked to him softly, never raised his voice. “I’m here for you, and I’ll never leave you. You know that, don’t you, Sam?”

    Sam squeezes his eyes shut.

    “I won’t leave you, not like how you left me.”

     

    (AKA, what if Sam fell in love with Lucifer in the cage, and his hallucination reflected that?)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,403
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    460
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “First time?” A man’s voice startled him. Sam turned to see an older gentleman with an inviting smile. Sam nodded. “It’s good you’re here, then,” the man said. “Good on you for taking the first step. Come on.” He held the door open. “In you go.”

    Sam took a shaky breath and stepped inside. A dozen pairs of eyes flicked toward him, filled with curiosity and empathy. His skin crawled. How was he supposed to spill his darkest secret to a room full of strangers?

    The man nudged him gently. “Each one gets easier,” he said. “Find a seat. You might not feel so alone by the end of this.”

    Sam took a seat in the circle, the folding chair creaking beneath him. He felt too warm, despite the room’s chill, his body struggling to acclimate to this new environment. The others chatted and smiled, a stark contrast to his turmoil. It was too normal, too mundane, and for a moment, he wanted to walk right back out the door.

    But he stayed. As much as he didn’t fit in here, he knew he didn’t fit in anywhere else, either. And maybe that was enough reason to be here.

    or as Sam struggles with his demon blood addiction, he finds solace in a group of strangers when he feels hopeless and alone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,012
    Chapters:
    34/34
    Comments:
    194
    Kudos:
    185
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    4,658
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "Why? You gonna hate me any less? Am I gonna hate myself any less?"
    "You'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself"

    Set after 5.04 The end.
    .
    .
    .
    “Sam”
    His brother’s voice put his brain’s self-pity party on hiatus.
    “Yeah?”
    Dean looked at him with a little concern and another expression he couldn’t quite place. “You okay, man?”
    Again, Sam almost laughed. “Yeah, I’m fine”

    He's not. He's really not.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,258
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    166
    Kudos:
    905
    Bookmarks:
    210
    Hits:
    22,120
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Collection of the song-inspired one-shots.

    Ch. 1: Destiel series finale fix-it. Slight whump + fluff.
    Ch. 2: Heavy angst. Sabriel & Destiel. Hurt/No comfort

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,036
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    160
  14. Tags
    Summary

    After Charlie's death and a bad hunt Sam gives up. He makes a decision that changes everything.
    ~~
    “Your brother has yet again done something with drastic cosmic consequences.” Sam squeezed his eyes shut, unwilling to see the hatred and disappointment on Dean’s face. “Samuel.” Death called and he couldn’t have rejected the request if he’d tried. “You would give up all that you have worked so hard to accomplish, all that you are, and live a subservient life instead?” Sam swallowed thickly, blinking rapidly as he tried to figure out how to say what he needed to say.

    “If it means none of my mistakes happen, all of those lives saved,” Sam couldn’t stop his eyes from darting to Dean once but was taken aback by the stricken look on his face. “Of course I would.” He turned back to Death who was gazing at him like a bug under a microscope. He guessed that’s what he really was to something as powerful as Death. The horseman nodded once as he stood.

    “Very well."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,540
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    828
  15. Tags
    Summary

    When Dean tells him to walk away, he does it. There's nowhere to go this time. Sam should know better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,197
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    325
    Kudos:
    803
    Bookmarks:
    182
    Hits:
    22,946
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Er biss die Zähne zusammen und versuchte zu vergessen, was er bereits vergessen hatte. Nein, nicht vergessen. Verdrängt. Verdrängt und ausgelöscht. Die Erinnerung verbrannte bis zur Unkenntlichkeit, nur um dann wie ein Phönix aus der Asche wieder aufzuerstehen und ihn in all seiner Pracht zu verspotten.
    „Ich gebe mir solche Mühe, dich in den Wahnsinn zu treiben“, säuselte Luzifer in einem widerlich fröhlichen Ton. „Und du tust es ganz allein. Nicht wahr, Sammy?“

    Nach den Ereignissen von Staffel 7 Folge 14 „Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie“ wird Sam mit der Quelle seiner Angst vor Clowns konfrontiert. Luzifer tut alles, was er kann, um Sam in seinem persönlichen Albtraum gefangen zu halten. Aber es ist nicht Luzifers Erscheinung, die ihn erschreckt, sondern die Realität seiner eigenen Erinnerung. Die Erinnerung an sexuellen Missbrauch, die ihn bis zur Unkenntlichkeit zu verzehren droht.

    Series
    Language:
    Deutsch
    Words:
    1,008
    Chapters:
    1/4
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    73
  17. Tags
    Summary

    His teeth were clenched as he tried to forget what he had already forgotten. No, not forgotten. Repressed. Pushed away and erased. The memory burned beyond recognition only for it to rise again like a phoenix from its ashes to mock him in all its glory.
    "I'm trying so hard to drive you crazy," Lucifer purred, his tone disgustingly cheerful. "And you're doing it all by yourself. Don't you, Sammy."

    After the events of season 7 episode 14 "Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie", Sam is confronted with the source of his fear of clowns. Lucifer does everything he can to keep Sam trapped in his personal nightmare. But it is not Lucifer's appearance that frightens him, but the reality of his own memory. The memory of sexual abuse that threatens to consume him beyond recognition.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,410
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    670
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Season 1 Episode 21 Of SPN Recreation

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    251
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    392
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "No," John whispers in horror, now realizing the atrocity that Mary has already understood. He sways forward, as if unable to help himself, and that large man throws out a large palm in warning to keep away.

    (Or: the one where Anna takes Sam back in time to try and prevent the apocalypse. By taking himself out of the equation.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,158
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1,050
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Sam has been left alone in motel room after motel room, leaving only him and his thoughts. This time it gets too much for him.

     

    CONTENT WARNING FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS!!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    877
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    697

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