1 - 20 of 130 Works in Patty O'Connor
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Life is full of so many little disconnected things. What are the chances that they might all come together at exactly the right time, exactly when they're meant to, to form the perfect (odd) result?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 6
- Hits:
- 28
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This whole show would’ve been a hell of a lot shorter if they’d just kissed in the damn bathtub, if Kevin had done ONE chore, and if Allison had a gas stove.
(We're ignoring so many plot holes, in the name of making this as short and as gay as humanly possible. Join me on this journey)
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This takes place shortly after Patty and Allison meet in the bar in 2005, and shortly after Les Devin's death. Allison is convinced she is being haunted, and she is absolutely correct. By what, though? By whom?
(Only marked Mature because of the show content / out of an abundance of caution. Nothing explicit or graphic here for once. Technically mostly canon compliant).
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It is late summer, 2015, and Allison has taken a job as a paralegal, leaving the McRoberts household a mess and Patty as the only one caring enough to hold the bag. Worried that maybe Allison *is* having an affair with her boss, Patty decides to investigate, and winds up discovering more than she bargained for.
OR
PATTY COULD HAVE BEEN GAY SOONER AND I'M ONLY LEARNING THIS NOW???? (phrasing credit to calzones)
(I took the flashbacks from Chapter 5 of Kevin F**ked Himself and changed the outcome. And then wrote a bunch more words. Because why not.)
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This takes place shortly after S2E7, and Patty thinks that maybe Allison IS actually dead.
Patty's POV.
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In this story you'll find Season 1 Allison and Patty, characters whose edges haven't been smoothed out, who have learned no lessons, and who know nothing except that they are compelled to keep seeking each other out.
Sitting in the bathtub with Patty, Allison has an epiphany.
Everything that results is a little bit off.
For better or for worse...
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Nobody can pretend it isn't happening: Patty and Allison talk too much. They text too much. They're not even friends, and yet... here Patty is, in the middle of the day, scrolling back through old text conversations on her phone like some sort of addict, and sending EMOJIS for chrissakes.
If this isn't the end of the world, she doesn't know what the hell is. The worst part is that everyone else can see it happening too.
(Patty's POV)
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A couple years after canon, Allison has been set up on a string of middling to terrible dates. Fed up with her own love life, she decides to focus her attention on helping others. Well, one specific other.
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A seven year retrospective on Patty O'Connor and Allison McRoberts, seven years after the finale.
AKA I found the platonic explanation for them.
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Allison and Patty try to meet in the middle, and end up undershooting all they could be.
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If "Kevin F**ked Himself" was one possible post-canon scenario, we'll call this another alternative, which gives a *little* more credence to the cast and creator commentary on the finale (you know what I mean). Not too much credence, mind you, but enough to cause trouble.
Hat tip to a certain short-but-devastating KCFH fic that acted as some inspiration. After which I let my rom-com mentality take over . . .
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In a world without Kevin, would Patty and Allison still find their way into each other's lives? If they'd met sooner, if they'd been faster friends after bumping into each other at the bar in 2005, if they'd been given an opportunity to fall in love without all the obstacles, would they still want to? Would it be even remotely the same?
This is the skeleton of an old draft wherein I was revisiting and trying to come to terms with the ending of the show again—the idea that things happen when they're meant to, that life has a funny way of looping back, and the mind has a funny way of rewriting old memories that we'd rather forget.
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An ordinary love triangle? Not a chance! Much lurks beneath the surface.
Series
- Part 2 of Kevin Can Love Himself
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The horizon between yesterday and today by zarisdonut
Fandoms: Kevin Can Fuck Himself (TV 2021)
02 Feb 2025
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In the middle of the night, Allison storms into Patty's house with a crazy idea.
Series
- Part 2 of Femslash Feb '25
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Starts with dialogue from series 2 episode 6, then diverges. What if instead of just giving each other knowing smiles, they actually kept talking about their feelings?
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Allison McRoberts knows that there are about a million and one ways to say ‘I love you’. She thinks she might have even invented half of them, but it’s often hard to be sure. Usually they mean different things, or different things mean ‘I love you’ without using the same words… it’s all so hard to pin down.
The definition is a fugitive.
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What if they *did* kiss in the bathtub scene though? If we wildly speculate about their moms enough, we could maybe make it happen...
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Allison is a natural behind the shampoo station.
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Worcester does have a cultural heartbeat, if you look for it.
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Would You Still Love Me If I Was a Worm? by toosoapie
Fandoms: Kevin Can Fuck Himself (TV 2021)
18 Dec 2024
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"Patty"
"Yeah?"
"Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
"Allison, I swear to god."