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Language:
English
Collections:
escapism (to forget that the world is a burning hellscape), Extraordinary SNS Fics💕
Stats:
Published:
2019-02-07
Completed:
2019-04-14
Words:
6,362
Chapters:
9/9
Comments:
55
Kudos:
669
Bookmarks:
86
Hits:
6,028

Punny Nights

Summary:

[1:20] Boo, you whore

[1:22] What?

[1:24] You’ve never seen mean girls???

[1:27] Can’t say that I have

[1:28] That’s it, we’re having a viewing party

[1:30] ...I’m going to bed.

[1:32] BOO YOU WHORE

 

In which Naruto is annoying and Sasuke is a little bitch.

Notes:

Naruto is regular, Sasuke is bold, Sakura is underlined, Hinata is italics

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: Late night drunk text shenanigans

Notes:

Naruto is regular, Sasuke is bold

Chapter Text

Sunday AM

[1:03] Hellooo neighbor!

[1:06] I don’t know my neighbors, and they certainly don’t have my number

[1:07] We’re phone neighbors!

[1:09] I’m going to need more than that

[1:10] Your number is only one digit off from mine, duhh

[1:13] And what, pray tell, made you decide that it was a good idea to text a random stranger at 1am?

[1:15] I’m boreddd

[1:15] I also may be a little drunk

[1:16] Maybe

[1:18] That explains a lot

[1:19] Maybe you should be going to sleep

[1:20] Boo, you whore

[1:22] What?

[1:24] You’ve never seen mean girls???

[1:27] Can’t say that I have

[1:28] Duuuuuuuude

[1:28] That’s it, we’re having a viewing party

[1:30] ...I’m going to bed.

[1:32] BOO YOU WHORE

~

[10:52] My head is fucking pounding

[10:54] How colorful

[10:55] Fucking shit motherfucking fuckballs

[10:57] That wasn’t a challenge

[10:58] And yet, here we are

[11:01] So we know why I was awake at 1am, now why were YOU awake at 1am?

[11:04] I’m in a constant state of insomnia. I never sleep.

[11:06] But sleep is one of the big 3, you gotta have sleep

[11:06] What if I sing you a lullaby?

[11:08] Now? I’m working

[11:09] Ooh, what do you do?

[11:12] I work in an office

[11:14] Aren’t offices closed on Sundays?

[11:16] The office is closed. Doesn’t mean I’m free.

[11:17] Man, that’s brutal. I hope they’re paying you the big bucks

[11:19] I suppose you could say that

[11:20] Movie night’s on you ;)

[11:23] Boo, you whore

~

Monday PM

[4:45] So you know I work in an office. What do you do?

[4:49] Me? Oh, I’m just a lowly waiter. Nothing fancy like...lawyer?

[4:51] Are you attempting to guess my occupation?

[4:52] Am I close?

[4:54] Not quite

[4:55] What do you dooo

[4:58] No, no, I quite like this game you’ve started. Go on.

[5:00] Oh, uhhh...Accountant?

[5:00] Insurance agent?

[5:01] Ooh, 007!

[5:03] James Bond does not work in an office, you heathen

[5:05] It’s cute how much you care

[5:07] Keh.

[5:08] Who are you, Inuyasha?

[5:10] You seem to forget I don’t know your friends

[5:11] My fr…

[5:11] Oh god, you’re one of those anime haters, aren’t you?

[5:14] Not a hater. Just not interested.

[5:16] Oi, what am I gonna do with you

[5:18] Well, considering I’m just a stranger in your phone, you can do whatever you want with me

[5:19] Ooh, kinky

[5:21] ...not what I meant

[5:23] TOO LATE, CAN’T TAKE IT BACK

[5:26] I’m changing the subject

[5:26] What’s the big 3?

[5:28] Huh?

[5:30] Last night, you said sleep was one of the big 3. What’s the big 3?

[5:31] Oh! Sleep, food, and sex. Obviously.

[5:33] Obviously.

[5:34] Personally, I think food is number 1 on the list. Especially ramen, mmmmm…

[5:37] I prefer a nice steak

[5:39] How basic

[5:41] Steak is not basic, steak is delicious

[5:43] Whatever you say, pumpkin

[5:45] Pumpkin? Is that what we’re doing now?

[5:46] It sure is, shnookums

[5:49] Please stop

[5:51] Awwwww puddin’

[5:53] I’m ending this now

[5:54] Cupcake, nooo

[5:59] Fine, but I will get you!