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if and when you're mine

Summary:

the ghosts of her past are clawing at her, trying desperately to pull her down with them.

she can’t seem to let herself fall for him — can’t let herself believe that the things he tells her might be true, even though she so badly wants to.

there’s miles and miles of space in between them and she thinks they’re going to die before they can close the distance.

-
this is a rewrite of my other fic get to you.

Notes:

this is a total rewrite of my other fic get to you, which can be read here!
i am immensely grateful for all the love i've received on that fic, and i have really been wanting to come back to it and finish it but i don't really feel connected to that version of it anymore and i was really struggling to figure out how i wanted to end it. i also would like to think my writing has improved over the last year, so i am excited to pick back up the fic that is so dear to me and hopefully make it look the way i wish it had a year ago. thanks again to anyone who's taken the time to read that version, and thank you to anyone reading this one!!

Chapter Text

Lost. 

Lost and alone in the streets of an unfamiliar city in a country she’d never step foot in before. Standing under a streetlamp for light, the sun long since set. A sitting duck as she tried, frantically, to make sense of her map. The fear and panic were quickly growing, gnawing at her gut, everything inside of her telling her to fight or flee. She tried, in vain, to remind herself that she wasn’t completely alone — and certainly not unarmed, but it did little to calm her nerves. 

While she tried and failed once more to read her map and get a grasp on where she was, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Her head shot up and she inhaled sharply. Nervously, she surveyed her surroundings, and found that every streetlight besides the one she stood under had gone out, bathing her surroundings in darkness. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears, deafening, until a voice from behind cut through. 

She turned around at breakneck speed, her Guardian manifesting behind her simultaneously. 

A man stood there before her, still partially obscured by the shadows. Her heart was in her throat as her Guardian made a move towards him. 

He put a hand up, stopping her in her tracks, and he took a step towards her, now fully illuminated by the streetlamp they both stood beneath. She stared at him with wide eyes, feeling stuck in place, like there was a weight on her shoulders keeping her there. 

He was impossibly handsome. Smooth, porcelain skin, all sculpted muscle, blonde hair flowing freely over his shoulders, and eyes as red as fresh blood, roving over her form with a hunger. Her mouth felt like sandpaper. 

“There’s no need for all that,” He purred, voice low and smooth as silk as he gestured toward her Guardian. 

She felt dizzy, off-kilter, confused, terrified. No one had ever seen her before. Her imaginary friend, her protector. 

“You can see her?” She asked, unable to tamp out the curiosity despite it all.

He laughed, and goosebumps prickled on her skin as the sound reached her ears. With his lips pulled back in some monster's imitation of a smile, she could see where his teeth came to two sharp points. 

“But of course.” He replied easily. “I’ve been looking for her, after all. Looking for you.” He took another step towards her, towering over her. “Do you know, you’re the only representation of the Minor Arcana I’ve been able to find? I had reason to believe you possessed the Ace of Cups. Evidently, my suspicions were correct.” His charming voice coupled with his intoxicating, unflinching gaze was lulling her into some strange sense of calm, despite every logical part of her brain screaming at her to fight or flee. The things he said only served to confuse her further, and the need to find out more drowned out every rational thought her brain was desperately screaming at her.

Her mind felt like it was on fire as she tried to put the pieces together, tried to make sense of anything he said to her. Minor arcana… Tarot cards? What did she know about tarot cards?

He was terrifying. He was handsome. He was probably crazy. He was charming. Maybe she was dreaming. What else could possibly explain any of it? Maybe that’s why the longer she stood with him the less she felt like she needed to run screaming. That’s the sort of thing that only made sense in a dream. 

“Who even are you? What is all of this?” She managed to say, the words coming out much sharper than they probably should have, but it earned her another devilish grin regardless. 

“I… am Dio.” He said smoothly, taking another step towards her and nearly closing the gap between them. He looked down on her, red eyes boring into her so deeply it felt like he was looking into her soul. 

“Tell me,” He hummed, and then he disappeared from her vision in a snap. She blinked, and he was gone. 

“What is it that you desire?” His presence was suddenly behind her, sultry voice whispering to her and his body just inches from her own. 

Next, he was on her left. “Riches?” Then her right. “Power?” He was in front of her again. “Admiration?” He asked, head cocked slightly to the side. Then he was gone again. 

She felt his warm breath ghost across the skin of her exposed shoulder, and his hand crept around her neck to clasp, gently, over her throat. He must have been able to feel the way her pulse pounded against her skin, like a dog rattling the bars of its cage. She felt dizzy. She felt high. 

“Loyal and adoring subjects to wait on your every need?” His voice was low and husky in her ear, and her knees felt weak beneath her. “Tell me your deepest desire.” His grip on her throat tightened, fingers digging into flesh while his free hand encircled her waist, pulling her flush against him. 

“Tell me what your heart yearns for.” His voice was like syrup, it radiated in her core. She felt like a woman possessed. So quickly the switch inside her flipped. She wanted him. She would do anything he asked of her, throw herself from the tallest building if he’d so much as implied he wanted her to. 

“Love.” She said breathlessly. “I want true, unconditional love.” Her voice nearly cracked at the end, but the words spilled out on their own. 

Everything after that was a blur. Flashes of skin against skin, a haze of heat and pleasure. She felt like she was outside of herself, like she was watching and feeling it all from behind a wall of glass. But she wanted it so badly, her desire like a wave engulfing her completely. She’d given herself over to him entirely, a slave to his every whim. He occupied her mind in a way she couldn’t explain, and she watched, detached, as she drowned in the all-consuming need to please him.