Chapter Text
“Would you still love me if I were a worm?”
“What?” Perry responded predictably, closing the fridge and abandoning his search for food.
“Would you still love me if I were a worm?” his boyfriend repeated.
“JD-”
“Come on.” JD cut off whatever complaint he was about to make.
Perry sighed and took a seat across the table from JD. “Okay, fine. Would I still love you if you were a worm?”
“That’s the question.” JD nodded solemnly.
“Like romantically?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
JD gasped, rather dramatically. “Perry, what the hell?!”
“Belinda, you just asked me if I could be in love with a worm.”
“But the worm is ME!”
“Okay fine, let’s consider. Can worm Newbie kiss me?”
“Maybe not in the traditional sense, but-”
“Uh uh uh - can worm Newbie drive the kids to school?”
“Is that all I am to you?”
“Can worm Newbie even talk to me?”
“Probably not.” He conceded, glumly.
“I rest my case. I would not love you if you were a worm. But I don’t think that’s a problem, seeing as you are, in this reality that we’re all actually living in, a human being.”
“What if we were both worms?”
“If I say yes, is this conversation over?”
“I’ll know if you’re lying!”
“Oh c’mon, you know I don’t have the imagination for this! Do worms even experience love? Maybe I’d be a thriving asexual worm unencumbered by an annoyingly whimsical worm partner.”
JD sighed. “Honestly, that sounds about right for worm Perry.”
He then went to report his results to Turk.
VB: He said no :(
CB: Dude! So did Carla!
VB: I’d still love you if you were a worm
CB: Back at you buddy
Perry checked his own phone while JD was undoubtedly complaining to his other life partner.
Carla: You get the worm question?
Perry: What the fuck was that?