Chapter Text
Bruce stared at the three white sticks in his hand for what felt like an eternity. The bright pink plus signs were burning a hole through his eyes.
Why now?
The condom must’ve broken the last time they did it. Or the time before. Or maybe the time before that. Not that he could test this theory anyway, the remains of it long gone, existing only in the trash mountains off of Gotham.
He absently stroked his thumb across the display screen, trying to erase the result. What was only supposed to ease his mind was manifesting the worst of his anxieties.
Could he even do this?
Bruce and Clark had been married for nearly three years now, but kids had been a discussion Bruce kept putting on the back burner. Every time Clark brought it up, he never failed to change the subject. Shutting it down like cops at a frat party. Bringing up everything from the next black tie event they needed to attend to more desperate measures like talking about Clark’s favorite baseball team in its place. The idea of being a parent was something Bruce wasn’t ready to handle.
Yet, it had finally reached the point where he couldn’t avoid it any longer.
Bruce jumped from his seat on the toilet when he heard a knock on the door. He lost track of how long he had been in there.
“Babe…” Clark said softly as he knocked on the door again. “Is everything okay in there?”
“I'm fine,” Bruce replied quickly. “I’ll be out soon.” He shoved the tests into his pocket. He didn’t want to risk the chance of Clark seeing it. Not now, yet not sure when.
Was this even the right time?
The older man walked out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth. “All yours, Clark.”
The taller man looked at him a little perplexed before leaning over to kiss his cheek. “Thanks, B.”
Bruce gave him a small smile before Clark closed the bathroom door. He ran his hand through his hair before having a deep sigh. He needed to figure out what he wanted fast.
It wasn’t that Bruce liked keeping secrets. He was just good at it. However, this wasn’t one of those secrets Bruce would always be able to keep so easily. While he didn’t feel completely terrible, his appetite was off. Certain smells made Bruce feel nauseous, and he was more prone to fatigue during the day. He also spent more time in his closet, burning a hole in the mirror, trying to see if any changes were already happening, wanting to make sure his body wasn’t betraying him just yet. It had been about a week since taking the test, and he wasn’t any closer to telling his husband the news.
“Good morning, handsome.” Clark smiled at him when he woke up. Bruce studies his face as the sunlight crept across their bedroom, making Clark’s blue eyes look iridescent like the water off the Fiji coast where they spent their honeymoon. Bruce couldn’t help but fall in love all over again. “How’d you sleep?”
“Pretty good,” Bruce lied. He had spent a decent chunk of the night awake, his insomnia working overtime as he strategized his plan.
Why was this the thing that scared him the most?
“That’s what I like to hear.” Clark leaned over and kissed him softly. “I can make us breakfast if you want to stay in bed, enjoy this lazy Sunday for a bit longer.”
Bruce almost protested until his stomach started rumbling. He didn’t have much to eat last night, his mind occupied with other things, to truly focus on his meal. “That sounds quite nice actually. Thanks, dear.”
Clark gave him one more kiss before getting up from their bed to make a mess of their kitchen as he made breakfast the only way he knew how. Farm style. Despite it being the two of them, Clark never failed to make a feast. You can take the boy out of Kansas, but you can’t take Kansas out of the boy. It made sense with Clark’s past of working long hours on his family’s farm before he even started football and baseball practice. He grew up needing the energy, and as he had somewhat of an active lifestyle, a hearty American breakfast was still the way to go.
Bruce gave him the head start, lounging in bed a little longer, before mustering up the willpower to head downstairs. He wished he hadn’t.
The strong stench of eggs and bacon assaulted him as he walked to the kitchen, his stomach churning in an instant to protest as he rushed to the nearest bathroom. Just as quickly as it started, it was over, what little he possibly had in there heaved into the toilet. He stayed on the ground for a minute as he tried to catch his breath, gripping the porcelain rim as he fought back burning bile, his hair glued to his forehead, while his legs trembled every time he tried to stand. Morning sickness has finally decided to rear its ugly head and beat his ass.
“Bruce…” Clark rushed to his side after getting the eggs and bacon off the stove. “If you’re not feeling well, you don’t have to lie to me.”
“I’m fine.” Bruce curtly told him. Still bracing for another wave as he took another deep breath in, his head throbbing. “I know what I can handle.”
“Babe, you practically green,” Clark reasoned. “I’m taking you to bed and getting you some crackers and water instead.”
“I told you I’m fine,” Bruce repeated, more annoyed than before. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I know you hate being sick, but you won’t get better trying to fight through it.”
“I’m not sick.”
“You threw up and your skins calmly,” Clark reasoned. “What else could it be?”
“I’m pregnant.” Bruce blurted, the words rushing from him like a flood. He studied every inch of his husband’s face, looking for any sign of acknowledgment. It was the longest there had ever been silence between them.
Clark stared at him as if looking through him. As if seeing Bruce for the first time, all the parts of him that the older man tried to suppress. All his hopes. All his wants. All his needs. All his desires. And all his fears. Bruce had never felt so raw and vulnerable before as his eyes looked away from him. He felt like a deer caught by its predators.
“You’re… you’re pregnant?” Clark stammered, making sure he wasn’t losing his hearing.
Bruce nodded as he took another deep breath. All his senses heightened in this moment as he tried to predict what Clark would do next. Like he rehearsed in his head a million times this week. Replaying every scenario he imagined. This is what he wasted his time on instead of coming clean.
Was he starting to reconsider this? Was this the end?
“How long have you known?” Clark asked, going into reporter mode. Bruce would blame it on his journalistic desire to get to the heart of the matter.
“A little over a week.”
A week?! When were you going to tell me?”
“I’ve been spending all week trying to work up the nerves,” Bruce admitted. “I’m still unsure how I feel. I want to be happy, but I also see all the ways I’ll screw up. Do you really want a kid with me, Clark? Are we ready?”
Clark sat down next to him and wrapped his arm around Bruce’s shoulder, making sure there was no gap between them. “There’s nothing more that I want, babe. I think about it often. How lovely it would be to have a family with you. How you’re the only person I want to have one with.”
“I’m not sure I’ll be the best they need,” Bruce added, leaning his head against Clark. “What if I’m not able to give them all the love and support they require. What if I’m not enough.”
“That’s nonsense,” Clark replied. “I think having these concerns is proof enough that you care. We won’t have all the answers, but we’re a team, B. We get to learn and make these mistakes together.”
Bruce nodded and leaned his head against Clark’s shoulder. “Like we always do.”
Clark nodded and kissed the top of his head before touching their foreheads together. He helped Bruce up after a while before they made their way back to the kitchen. Clark got a glass of water and some toast prepared for his husband instead, wanting him to take it easy for now. “If you want more let me know, babe.”
Bruce nodded as he took a slow bite of the plain toast. This was all he needed. He smiled back at Clark. “Thanks.”
“It’s my pleasure,” Clark replied before sitting next to him. He kissed Bruce’s cheek before digging into his meal. Simply enjoying his company, his smile grew wider as he continued processing the news. “It might not be the way you wanted to tell me, but I’m thrilled, dear. This is the best news I’ve ever heard.”
Bruce nodded before reaching for Clark’s hand to give it a gentle squeeze. “You’re the only person I ever want to do this with.”
“Glad we’re on the same page.” Clark kissed his cheek again. The conversation shifted to their growing family, Clark's eyes lighting up every time he talked about the baby. Seeing how much love was pouring out of one man helped put Bruce’s mind at ease. They could do this. Maybe they wouldn’t know all the answers, or be perfect, but they had each other, and that was more than enough.