Chapter Text
Kakashi saw it appear out of the corner of his eye. Kakashi in all his years of being a ninja he had never seen anything like this. Whatever it was seemed to flicker in and out of existence like its very being was unstable. At first he had thought he had been placed in genjustu or something but this appeared this appeared to be very real. The object stayed firmly in place even after Kakashi chucked a kunai at it. In fact that was what seemed to finally solidify it into reality and it was… a book set? Kakashi’s kunai had pierced the cardboard box holding the books but otherwise they were unharmed. Why on earth were they here, though? And who had sent them? Questions raced through Kakashi’s mind as he approached the set and picked one up. It didn’t seem to be giving off any chakra and had no visible explosive tag, but Kakashi remained cautious nonetheless. Being a child soldier will do that to you I guess. Or just a ninja in general.
Kakashi finally lifted a book from the cardboard holding them. It was a simple black book, with the cover showing two pale hands holding a bright red apple and in big curvy letters the title read, Twilight. A book Kakashi had never seen before was odd. As a frequent visitor to every book store and library in Konoha, Kakashi thought he had seen every book they had to offer. Maybe it was a banned book filled with secrets and forbidden jutsus but why would someone just leave that out in the open? Kakashi turned the book over and began to read the back ‘huh a vampire romance, not exactly banned book material’. Now Kakashi was really confused as to why he had never seen this book before. He spent most of his time in the romance section, sure for erotica and not for Y.A. but still if a new romance book was released he would be the first to know! There must be a hidden secret in it!
The book was completely normal, Kakashi concluded after absently flipping though most of it. A little dumb sure, but completely normal. Why anyone would send these from anywhere was beyond Kakashi. Though Kakashi did feel an overwhelming urge to do something with them…it would be a waste to let these mysterious space books just sit here. And he had three perfect genin to choose from. Kakashi ruled out Naruto first there was no way he would read them and even if he did Naruto would probably do incomprehensible damage to these mystery books’ pages. Sakura would probably enjoy these but she didn’t need anymore unhealthy romance/bad boy propaganda in her life, so it was the responsible thing to do to never let her near these ever. So that left Sasuke…the poor boy does need a hobby Kakashi chuckled to himself. Kakashi will just tell him he needs to read them to make himself stronger or something and he’ll do it. This might be Kakashi’s greatest plan as a sensei to date.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝
“You're late again, Kakashi-sensei!” Oh Sakura’s screaching voice is always a pleasure to hear at nine in the morning.
“Sorry I got lost on the path of life.”
“That’s always your excuse!” Sakura’s frustration was more than evident in her voice.
“The path of life is always such a twisty and unpaved path for me.” It’s not like that wasn’t true. “Anyway, time to start your training for today.”
Kakashi silently giggled to himself the whole day. He could barely remember what he was trying to teach then in the first place. He could not wait to give these books to Sasuke and watch him finally put that angsty mind to good use. Oh maybe he’d even write overly depressing fanfiction! The boy desperately needed something to do besides stew angrily alone in his apartment.
“Kakashi-sensei, why are we digging up earth worms and just putting them back? In what way will this remotely help our ninja training?” Sakura groaned. She was the only one still doing the activity despite her complaining though. Naruto had gotten distracted early on and Sasuke was just sitting there.
“Oh I don’t know, I just wanted you to.” Kakashi replied nonchalantly before going back to his book. “Anyway if you don’t want my expert training I’ll just end class early.”
“Y’know Sakura if you want to get stronger you should really be training more.” Sasuke scoffed out like he had actually been doing anything. Sakura had that look like she wanted to yell at him but was holding back. She really should scream at him, Sasuke deserved a good verbal berating to keep his ego in check. Kakashi just wasn’t going to be the person to deliver it.
“Well if this is training then I don’t need it to get stronger!” Naruto yelled out with too much passion for three in the afternoon.
“Tch, you're such an idiot Naruto. Don’t you know you can only get stronger through training. And training with a high level jounin no less.” Sasuke grumbled back. Kakashi was too tired to listen to them bicker back and forth for hours. He really didn’t feel like teaching about nothing for another three hours.
“I’ve decided we’re ending early and stop yelling. Have a nice afternoon or something.” Kakashi sighed out. “Oh and Sasuke please stay back. I have something important to give you.”
Sasukke looked briefly surprised but that soon turned to excitement. Just as Kakashi expected, he probably thought Kakashi was going to give him extra lessons to make him stronger. No, Kakashi was going to give him something much more special. Look, icha icha paradise was the only reason Kakashi hadn’t killed himself yet, Sasuke deserved an age appropriate romance book as well.
“Why did you want to stay back sensei?” Sasuke said in the most nonchalant tone he could manage over his excitement.
“I told you I have something important to give you.” Kakashi replied without looking up from his book.
“And that is?”
Kakashi reached into the bag he had been carrying and pulled out the slightly damaged book set he had found. He gingerly placed it in Sasuke's hands.
“And this is what exactly?”
“Just read it.”
“Okay sensei, if you think this will help in my training.” Always about training with that kid, damn get a hobby.
“Ya ya now I have my own book to read.” Kakashi lounged back and began reading again.
“As if you hadn't been the whole time we were training.” Sasuke mumbled under his breath.
“I heard that!”
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝
Sasuke examined the books he had been handed. They didn’t look that out of the ordinary, they weren't even scrolls, they just looked like normal fiction books. Sasuke wasn’t sure why Kakashi had given these to him, but surely they were important. Surely Kakashi wouldn’t give him these for no reason, right? Sasuke opened the book and peered at the first page.
I'd never given much thought to how I would die - though I'd had reason enough in the last few months - but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.
Wait, was this just a fiction novel? Surely not…Sasuke should keep reading to make sure. He would stop if it was just a fiction novel though, because he didn’t have time for stupid entertainment….
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝
Sasuke was fucking exhausted. Not because he had spent all night reading Twilight obviously not, because that had turned out to just be a stupid romance book. And certainly not because he spent an hour drawing Edward Culleen fanart because why would he do that.
“Wow Sasuke you look horrible!” Naruto declared far too loudly for Sasuke’s exhausted brain to handle right now
“Hey you take that back. Sasuke does not look awful, he always looks good.” Sakura snapped back. Christ Sasuke was too tired to deal with this right now;
“Tch stop worrying about what I look like and start worrying about training.” Sasuke grumbled without much bite.
“I don’t think you can train right now. I’m not even trying to one up you this time. You look like you're about to fall over.” Naruto pointed out. He didn’t even sound like he was trying to piss Sasuke off.
Naruto looked extra stupid today. His hair wasn’t quite brushed correctly leaving it to awkwardly stand up on one side and his ugly orange jumpsuit looked like it hadn’t been washed in days. His eyes were an overly bright and creepy blue and not at all like Edwards warm gold eyes. Not that Sasuke cared about the book at all or was comparing Naruto to the main love interest. It was just they were both going against their natural instincts of a predator and what not. Naruto as the nine tailed fox jinchuuriki and Edward as vampire both had to suppress a part of themselves down so it made sense for Sasuke to compare them. Naruto’s eyes also went a sort of red when the nine tailed fox got close to the surface, just like when a vampire fed on human blood. Not that Naruto was cool enough to be a vampire. Naruto was super lame and Sasuke never laid awake at night thinking about him or anything, why would you think that?
“Damn Sasuke, did you sleep at all?” A familiar annoying sensei huffed out. Couldn’t he ever announce himself normally? What happened to hello?
“Anyway we got a new mission! This woman wants us to spy on her husband and see if he’s cheating!” Kakashi sounded genuinely excited. “If you ruin this Naruto by refusing to be stealthy. I will never talk to you again.” Sasuke sometimes wondered if Kakashi wished he had a byakugan instead of a sharingan just so he could watch drama more easily.
“Why are you just talking about me! I’m so stealthy.” Naruto yelped out so loudly he might have broken several sound barriers.
“I think you just answered your own question. Now let’s go before you explode anymore eardrums.” Kakashi deadpanned back.
Sasuke was so tired he couldn’t really focus on the mission. Turns out he was cheating with a high up political figure from another nation and if this got out it could cause a huge war or something. It didn’t seem that important. Sasuke had better things to do at home. And they weren’t drawing fanart or writing self insert fanfiction of the stupid book series Kakashi gave him, because all those books were stupid.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝
“You understand my pain because you have been through so much yourself ...I was wrong about Bella, you're so much better than that prep in every way and much prettier too! Edward looked up at him with his blue orbs like limpid tears.”
…Wait Edward didn’t have blue eyes. Sasuke can’t believe he made that mistake. Blue eyes were so ugly there's no way Sasuke would ever like anyone with blue eyes. It didn’t matter to his writing though, his pain and very deep thoughts were being expressed beautifully. His main character Onyx Sha’dow Demented Grackle Way was very damaged and tragic and deserved to be with Edward way more than that prep Bella. Much like Sasuke he had black eyes, because the vampires had black eyes when they thirsted for human blood, and Onyx always craved the blood of the innocent. It was going to be a masterpiece when it was done, but that was enough writing for today. He had something more important to do.
Sasuke had decided that being a vampire would be extremely useful for his goals. He wanted to be stronger and they were faster than any human and practically invincible. Sure there was that whole human blood thing, but the Cullens didn’t drink human blood so surely he wouldn’t either.
Anyway since Sasuke couldn’t actually find a vampire to bite him he would just have to dress like one and make himself shine like one. He also briefly considered gold contacts but then decided his black eyes represented his consuming hunger for power and pain.
Sasuke wasn’t sure how to make body paint. So he did the only logical thing: he went to the makeup store and bought an obscene amount of glitter eye shadow. If it could paint his eyes there was no reason it couldn’t paint his body.
Sasuke heard a knock on his door a few minutes into his glitter endeavor. Shit he didn’t want anyone to see him with only half his vampire skin on.
“Hey Sasuke I came to bring you something to help you sleep.” Sakura’s overly chipper fake voice echoed into his apartment. "...Why is everything covered in glitter?”
“Nothings covered in glitter.” Sasuke felt like a kid getting caught destroying his parents' favorite vase.
“No literally everythi–I mean…I guess not then.” Sasuke hated Sakura’s fake nice persona she always put up around him, but right now it was his saving grace. “I’m just gonna leave this here. See you tomorrow at training Sasuke!”
Tch. The vampire did not concern himself with things like sleep, they were a creature of the night.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝
Sasuke’s body was heavier than lead and he was starting to wonder if becoming a chunin was worth all this trouble. Yes he wanted to get stronger to avenge his clan. But Edward Cullen had also tried to live a life of revenge against those he deemed as wrong and all that did was destroy his soul. Also Sasuke’s writing career was really starting to take shape. He had made Edward more fox-like and goofy, but just to explore the dichotomy between him and Onyx not because he was thinking of Naruto while writing. But no he can’t continue his masterpiece, he has to be in the ‘forest of death’ with his annoying teammates, fighting beasts and ninjas. Ughh why was life so unfair to him this was like the worst thing that ever happened to him besides his entire extended family being brutally murdered by his own then beloved brother.
His body felt like it might give out at any second. That Orchimaru guy had bitten him and since then his body had felt like it was just going to decay beneath him…Wait he had bitten him with fangs. Wait, is this it? Was he finally going to become a vampire like he had dreamed? He felt like he was dying but of course he did. He had to die before becoming a vampire. Sasuke happily let himself give into his exhaustion. He hoped Sakura wouldn’t freak out too much over his death while watching them. He found her annoying, but he didn’t want to traumatize the poor girl. But even if she did freak out, she’d get over it as soon as she saw his awesome and powerful vampire form. Naruto is going to be so jealous that Sasuke is the vampire and not him. Sasuke spends his last few seconds of consciousness fantasizing about his new vampire life.
Sasuke quickly fell into ominous dreams. All of them involved his brother killing his clan and then egging him on to go and get more powerful. Sasuke wondered if becoming a vampire would finally make him strong enough to beat his brother. He would never go with that Orchimaru person that turned him, that guy was obviously one of the evil vampires the Cullens fought against. Should Sasuke start his own vampire coven? Who would even join it? Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi for sure. Not that he was attached to them or anything. It's just he had gotten used to them and it would be better dealing with them than a new person. Still he heard his brother's taunting voice ringing in the background of every new dream.
When Sasuke finally snapped back awake the unconscious bodies of a team were littered around him, with Sakura cowering just in front of him. He didn’t recognize the team but they looked as if they were from the sound village. Sasuke could feel a new power lurking just beneath the surface but it wasn’t like he had expected. His senses hadn’t sharpened, his body didn’t feel made of rock, and most telling of all blood was everywhere and he didn’t even feel the smallest urge to drink it. That weird snake guy just bit him for no reason! Well maybe some reason because he definitely did do something to Sasuke, but not enough to justify biting someone. How dare he get Sasuke’s hopes up about something like this! Sasuke would resent this guy for all eternity. After he killed his brother he would kill Orchimaru for this. Nothing could stop him from that. If he was the dramatic type Sasuke would fling himself on the ground and declare it but he had too much self respect for that, currently.
But he would not rest until Orchimaru faced justice for his vampire crimes.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝
(Epilogue)
Sasuke woke up in the middle of the night with his head in his hands to a harsh poking in his ribs.
“Sasuke..Sasuke.” Sakura whispered into his ear.
“What…it’s like three am Sakura.” Sasuke groaned.
“Rember that time you painted yourself with glitter eyeshadow when you were twelve to look like Edward Cullen?”
“Did you wake me up just to remind me of that?” Sasuke could barely manage the energy to be embarrassed.
“No. It just felt like a good ice breaker.” Sakura whispered back.
“An ice breaker to what?”
“Ok…So this relationship is terrible for both of us. I thought I loved you but like I think I’m a lesbian and you’re only with me because you're expected to be.” Sakura said very matter of factly.
“Ya that’s fair. But you couldn’t wait till a reasonable hour to bring this up?” Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to be sad. Their relationship was extremely awkward and forced on both ends.
“No. Because I realized I was in love with Ino and never loved you in that way like five minutes ago.”
“Well shit. Ya see I knew I was gay since I was like ten.”
“You knew you were gay since ten and still got into a relationship with me?” Sakura sounded too offended for a woman that admitted to being a gay woman forcing herself to be in a straight relationship not ten seconds ago.
“Ya like you said: I felt like I had to get with you and carry on my clan's blood line.”
“Y’know what, whatever. It’s fine, at least we can agree this was awful from all angles.” Sakura went to get out of bed. She would probably be moved out by tomorrow. Knowing how scary her determination could be.
“Yep good luck with Ino, I think you’d be good for each other." Sasuke didn’t really know what to say.
“And good luck with Naruto. You too idiots should have gotten together long ago.” Sakura laughed back.
“What…I am not in love with Naruto.” Sasuke sputtered back in shock.
“Ya you are. Why else would you make Edward Cullen look and act like him in your weird Edward Cullen x Reader fic.”
“That was not on purpose…wait you read that?”
“Ya I did and what kind of a name is Onyx Sha’dow Demented Grackle Way? Like seriously?”
“Shut up I was literally twelve when I wrote that.”
“Anyway, it’s what spent me spiraling originally. Because like duh you're in love with Naruto it’s so obvious it’s not even funny.” She sounded so sure. Sasuke thought back to every interaction. Every longing glance and obsessive thought. The fact that he thought of their accidental kiss before almost dying several times. His stupid blue eyes that Sasuke could probably paint from memory.
“Wait, am I in love with Naruto.” Sasuke sat up right in bed.
“Ya dumbass.”
“Oh my god I’m in love with Naruto.”