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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-07-05
Updated:
2025-08-17
Words:
11,443
Chapters:
16/?
Comments:
40
Kudos:
164
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2,998

Stupid Antics & Chaos

Summary:

Kageyama Tobio

I HOPE U STUB UR TOE AND IT HURTS SO BAD THAT U CAN’T PLAY VOLLEYBALL FOR THE NEXT MONTH

 

Tanaka Ryunosuke

looks like someone knows how to use his phone now

 

Hinata Shoyo

Gasps
TAKE THAT BACK

 

Tsukishima Kei

you did not just type that in chat

 

Sugawara Koshi

Come on guys
It was not that serious

In which a stupid group chat made by the captain of a volleyball team turns into the worst decision of his life.

Notes:

Hi! So… recently, I’ve been watching these haikyuu twitter posts on social media and they’re the most funniest thing ever so I decided to make my own but on AO3 and make them just message each other.

Also, because there is a lot of dark humor, cussing, “weird” jokes, and generally stuff not meant for people under 13, I put the rating at teens and up audience.

Chapter 1: limited edition

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Monday, June 30th

Daichi Sawamura has created a group chat

Daichi Sawamura added Sugawara Koshi, Asahi Azumane, Kiyoko Shimizu, and 10 other people

12 people are online

Daichi Sawamura changed the group chat name to “Karasuno”

 

Daichi Sawamura

Hello and welcome to the official group chat of the Karasuno volleyball team. This is STRICTLY only for volleyball talk, practice and schedule, strategizing, events, etc. No goofying around.

 

Nishinoya Yuu

I like how he says that knowing we won’t listen to him anyway

 

Tanaka Ryunosuke

daichi, ur so silly!

 

Tsukishima Kei

oh god.

it’s bad enough that I’m stuck with these losers at practice, but now this?

 

Daichi Sawamura

If you don’t like it, you can leave.

Also Noya and Tanaka, I am not joking. This is ONLY for volleyball.

 

Nishinoya Yuu

shut up old man

 

Daichi Sawamura

Excuse me?

 

Hinata Shoyo

YOOO WADDUPP!!,!,!,!!!!!!

 

Tanaka Ryunosuke

AYEE SHOYO MY MAN

 

Nishinoya Yuu

HINATA!!!!!!

 

Sugawara Koshi

And it's already chaotic

 

Asahi Azumane

This is such a bad idea

 

Kageyama Tobio

toss techniques

how to make good tosses

…???

 

Tsukishima Kei

…you do realize this isn’t google, right?

 

Kageyama Tobio

volleyball wiki

volleyball men

men with volleyballs

 

Ennoshita Chikara

I honestly don’t know what to say about this

 

Narita Kazuhito

what the fuck

 

Asahi Azumane

Lord have mercy🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

 

Kinoshita Hisashi

he makes me feel smart

 

Nishinoya Yuu

how did bro make it to high school

 

Sugawara Koshi:

Kageyama, I’m oddly concerned for you

 

Hinata Shoyo

BAHAHAHAHA KAGEYAMA WHAT THE HELL

 

Kageyama Tobio

why isn't it working?

oh.

 

Tanaka Ryunosuke

have you NEVER used an iPhone before??😭

 

Yamaguchi Tadashi

I’m more concerned on the fact that he tried searching up “men with volleyballs”

 

Nishinoya Yuu

aye, I mean

if the shoe fits🤷‍♂️

don’t blame a guy for trying

 

Tsukishima Kei

ijbol

why is he so stupid

 

Daichi Sawamura

Tsukishima.

 

Tsukishima Kei

What. The. Fuck.

THEY ALL SAID ALMOST THE EXACT SAME THING AND U ONLY GET ONTO ME?

 

Daichi Sawamura

Yes, now shut the hell up.

 

Tanaka Ryunosuke

OOOOO

CLOCK HIS TEA DAI

 

Daichi Sawamura

Shut up before I clock your face and break every 206 of your bones instead.

 

Sugawara Koshi

Daichi, I didn’t know u were down bad like that

 

Daichi Sawamura

Suga.

 

Sugawara Koshi

Yes daddy sorry daddy

 

Asahi Azumane

please stop the PDA

 

Hinata Shoyo

OMG GUYS, WE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT!!!!!

 

Tsukishima Kei

oh hell no

 

Nishinoya Yuu

OH HELL YES

GOOD IDEA SHO

 

Kinoshita Hisashi

dawg we just got out of school for summer break

 

Tanaka Ryunosuke

all the more reason why we SHOULD hang out

 

Yamaguchi Tadashi

I’m down!

 

Narita Kazuhito

^ as long as it doesn’t involve rollercoasters, I’m in

 

Kinoshita Hisashi

pussy

 

Narita Kazuhito

I’m gonna fuck u in the ass.

 

Kinoshita Hisashi

That’s fucking hot

 

Kiyoko Shimizu is online

Yachi Hitoka is online

 

Kiyoko Shimizu

what the hell is this conversation

 

Yachi Hitoka

I’m deeply disturbed.

 

Ennoshita Chikara

Just smile and nod

 

Tanaka Ryunosuke

KIYOKO, MY DEAR

 

Nishinoya Yuu

KIYOKO SAN

 

Kiyoko Shimizu

…😐

 

Sugawara Koshi

…Anyway, where do you wanna hang out, Hinata?

 

Hinata Shoyo

I was thinking about the mall!

 

Sugawara Koshi

The mall it is!

Meet me at the entrance at 4 o’clock.

BE PUNCTUAL. 

 

Tsukishima Kei

I don't remember agreeing.

 

Daichi Sawamura

Yeah, I’m not sure about hanging out

I’m kinda busy yk

 

Sugawara Koshi

One, I don't remember asking

Two, for someone who’s “busy” you don't seem like it.

I can see you through your bedroom window, lying on your Pokémon theme bedsheets and kicking your feet

 

Daichi Sawamura

 

Nishinoya Yuu

BAHAHAHAHA

 

Asahi Azumane

why do you have Pokémon bedsheets?

 

Ennoshita Chikara

The real question is, why the hell are u looking through his window?

Don’t you live like 20 minutes away

 

Sugawara Koshi

I was just strolling past

Let a man jaywalk gosh

 

Ennoshita Chikara

…that’s literally illegal

 

Hinata Shoyo

I LOVE POKÉMON TOO DAICHI-SAN

 

Kageyama Tobio

Fucking loser

 

Hinata Shoyo

I’m gonna finger you

 

Kinoshita Hisashi

woah there buddy

 

Kiyoko Shimizu

Can we please be normal

 

Ennoshita Chikara

There’s no normality in here

 

Yamaguchi Tadashi

Pokémon still goes hard after all these years

Also… what the fuck sho.

 

Tanaka Ryunosuke

Daichi, it’s okay to be a nerd

 

Daichi Sawamura

fuck all of you.

 

Sugawara Koshi

yes please 🙏 

 


 


In the “Karasuno” group chat

19:02 p.m.

 

Kageyama Tobio

I HOPE U STUB UR TOE AND IT HURTS SO BAD THAT U CAN’T PLAY VOLLEYBALL FOR THE NEXT MONTH

 

Tanaka Ryunosuke

looks like someone knows how to use his phone now

 

Hinata Shoyo

Gasps

TAKE THAT BACK

 

Tsukishima Kei

you did not just type that in chat

 

Sugawara Koshi

Come on guys

It was not that serious

 

Kageyama Tobio

NO FUCK U HINATA

DIE

 

Asahi Azumane

Violence is NOT the answer

 

Sugawara Koshi

Ur five finger forehead ain't the answer yet it's still there

 

Asahi Azumane

you’re not funny.

 

Sugawara Koshi

Idk I kinda thought that was funny

 

Yamaguchi Tadashi

I still wanna know what happened

 

Yachi Hitoka

Should’ve never gone to the bathroom 🤷‍♀️

 

Yamaguchi Tadashi

chichi, hop off my dick.

 

Yachi Hitoka

what dick?

ur peanut-sized one?

 

Narita Kazuhito

digital footprint guys

 

Yachi Hitoka

I’m gonna digital footprint these toes up ur ass 

And stick them in one by one

 

Ennoshita Chikara

               Replied to Yamaguchi Tadashi

Hinata told Kageyama that if he crab walked his way throughout the mall then he’d get a free limited edition volleyball from the “Mall Mall Corporation” for how good he did it

He ended up getting a warning from a security guard for “disturbing” the peace

 

Yamaguchi Tadashi

…what the hell.

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed, until next time!