Chapter Text
She was a cultured, farmed pearl, like every pearl in Homeworld. She was impure in color and not perfectly round. Pink Diamond had a pearl made specifically for her once. Pearl was just a hand-me-down. So she didn't understand when Pink Diamond chose her from White's collection of fancy cast-aways- almost perfect enough to be White's Pearl, but not quite- and then, didn't customize her. She could change the form of her body to be anything Pink wanted... But Pink chose to keep the default fancy setting.
After snooping around with Pink, she knew there were beautiful, natural pearls out there, and they were not servants. They were far too rare. They eluded everything and everyone, and it seemed to Pearl that the Diamonds feared them. She ached for their perfection, their rareness, and the way it came naturally to them.
Pink allowed her to talk when she wished, except around the other Diamonds. Pink enjoyed her company and always wanted to talk with her, and so Pearl would chat on and on about various things, hoping to make Pink happy.
But Pink was miserable, and nothing Pearl tried ever seemed to alleviate her sadness. Perhaps if she were a more pure pearl, or perhaps if Pink had given in and customized her to her liking, she would be able to make Pink happy.
So one day, in the privacy of Pink's room, she asked. "Why didn't you customize me?"
Pink's eyes went wide, then softened. She leaned forward and cupped Pearl's face in her hands. Warm. Soft. Electrifying. She smiled, the kind of smile Pearl lived for. "Because you're beautiful just the way you are."
And Pearl knew, right then and there, that she was in love.
---
Pearl was content to dote on Pink, hoping to impress her, to make her happy, and maybe to earn her affections- but no, Pearl pushed that away. Pink was the most important thing, wasn't she? It didn't matter what Pearl felt towards her.
Not until they came to Earth. Suddenly, when they interacted with humans, Earth-made gems, the whole beautiful world, Pearl mattered. Pink made an effort to show her so.
"Your feelings matter, Pearl," she'd say, and Pearl would begin to believe it. She began to get angry with those who treated her like they didn't. She was angry with the other Diamonds, with many of the Homeworld gems. And she was free to indulge in her feelings a little, surely? So she became more talkative, more passionate, more her. And Pink loved it. It made Pearl feel warm all over.
Over many years on Earth, they watched humans. They learned their customs, learned of their mortality, and learned how precious everything on Earth was. How much love there was.
They watched humans court each other. They would bring gifts like flowers or jewelry to confess. They would lock lips to show affection. It looked so wonderful, and Pearl began to imagine kissing Pink's soft lips, being her everything, meaning the world to her.
And so, after many years on Earth, Pearl tried to confess.
Pink had permanently taken on the Rose Quartz persona, beautiful as ever. Fittingly, Pearl had prepared roses for her. Roses, humans said, were the flower symbolizing love.
Pearls weren't supposed to confess their undying love for their Diamonds. Pearls weren't supposed to be anything more than humble, loyal servants. But pearls also weren't supposed to abandon Homeworld and join a massive rebellion.
And so Pearl went to find Rose, with the roses behind her back. She went straight to her and Rose's spot on a grassy hill underneath a flowering tree, looking out over all the beauty of Earth. But when she crested the hill, she dropped her flowers.
Rose had brought some human man to their spot. And she was kissing him.
Pearl ran. She ran until she collapsed, sobbing, onto the grass. She thought that hill was her and Rose's special spot. She thought...
It was like her gem was not only being shattered, but ripped apart, slowly, deliberately. She cried into her hands until she couldn't cry anymore. And then she picked herself up.
He's just a novelty. A human. She'll lose interest sooner or later.
And she did. And that's the thought Pearl maintained to keep her heart from breaking, over and over as more men would come into Rose's life. Pearl waited for the perfect moment to confess, and finally be special to Rose again, or perhaps for the first time.
In the mean time, Pearl strived to impress Rose, to make the men jealous, to pull Rose back to her. Eventually, Rose would get over this novelty of humans. She just knew it.
Except she didn't. She met Greg, and Pearl was certain he was just another phase, until Rose told her the news that shattered her internally.
"I'm giving up my form to make... A human." Her smile was bigger than Pearl had ever seen it.
Rose didn't tell any of them until it was too late. Pearl wanted to scream. What happened to her feelings mattering? Rose was once again, doing what she wanted. And Greg... It was like he really, officially took her away. At first she despised him. But eventually she realized they shared the same pain.
Pearl didn't know who she was without Rose. Rose was the one who showed her she could be someone. So who was that someone now that Rose was gone?
"You're beautiful just the way you are."
"Your feelings matter, Pearl."
"Let's run away together, Pearl!"
Rose's voice was constantly in her head.
"Don't tell anyone."
"I'm giving up my form."
Her life. She was giving up her life.
"Talk to me, Pearl."
"Isn't the Earth so beautiful?"
"I
Love
Him."
"To make a human."
Pearl could never make her smile like that.