Chapter Text
Jason Todd was a peculiar child, Bruce knew. A great child, but still peculiar.
He was so many different things, sometimes contradicting himself. Sweet. Prickly. Kind. Suspicious. Smart. Sassy. Funny.
Most of all, though, he was Bruce’s.
Even if Jason didn’t often believe that.
Bruce had brought the twelve-year-old home just two months prior, but already he was attached. There was no other way to put that. He was attached. Jason had been his official foster child for two weeks, and Bruce was looking forward to the day he could stand in front of a judge, and make Jason his officially.
As long as that was what Jason wanted.
Because sometimes, Bruce wasn’t sure if Jason did.
“You know, convenience stores are way over priced,” Jason said, as Bruce led him into one near Gotham’s biggest park, “They always say you’re paying for the convenience, but there’s always a grocery store just a few blocks further with everything like half the price.”
“Hm,” Bruce said, nodding as he held the door for Jason, “Maybe so. But grocery stores rarely have the iced coffee I want.”
With a roll of his eyes, Jason said, “I bet your ice coffee costs like, five dollars, too.”
“3.79,” he said, smirking at how Jason rolled his eyes harder. “Go pick out a snack and a drink, I’ll meet you at the register.”
“Sure,” he replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. Sometimes it was difficult to make Jason pick things out, but at least with food he usually sucked it up and let Bruce spend the money.
Inside, Bruce wanted to stay at Jason’s side the entire time, keeping him within reach, but Jason was a fiercely independent child, and Bruce’s attention often chafed him.
The side effect of living on the streets for three years, completely alone and self-reliant, Bruce supposed.
It was a process, trying to teach Jason what was appropriate for children to do, and what was not. Trying to teach Jason it was okay to be protected, and cared for. It was okay to be reliant on someone else.
They’d get there. In the meantime, since the store was relatively small, and only had the one entrance, Bruce felt mildly comfortable letting Jason roam it on his own.
There were several other people in the store, but they were all doing their own thing, quietly picking out snacks. The radio played in the background, loud enough to keep the atmosphere peaceful, rather than the tense and awkward, of a completely silent store.
Bruce grabbed his iced coffee first, from one of the fridges and huffed a quiet laugh when he saw the drink was actually $4.79. Because of course Jason just knew the price of something off the top of his head. He could already hear the mocking he was going to suffer, when the cashier rang it up.
He took his time perusing the snacks, however. Looking at the dozens of protein and granola bar options. Jason was still looking at all the candy, three aisles over, so Bruce was trying to give him plenty of time to make up his mind, without the pressure of wasting Bruce’s time.
Jason could be funny like that. He waffled between loving Bruce’s attention, finding every single way he could to annoy Bruce, just for the laughs, and avoiding Bruce out of fear of bothering him, and wearing out his welcome.
No matter how many times Bruce told him he could never bother him, he still fell into those moods.
Then again, it hadn’t been that long since Bruce brought him home, all things considered. Jason just fit so well into the family, Bruce felt like he’d always been there. Like their family hadn’t been complete until he was there, having had a massive Jason-sized hole none of them had even noticed.
But it had been just two short months. And adjusting to a new family took time.
So Bruce would give him time.
Bruce was deciding between a cranberry almond bar and a pomegranate blueberry pistachio one, which sounded like a strange combination to him, but if it was being sold obviously someone liked it. He doubted the company didn’t do focus groups on it.
He had both in his hand, and was reading over the ingredients when he heard Jason’s voice ring out.
“Bruce,” he said, loudly, earning Bruce’s attention immediately.
Because his voice squeaked, in the way it did whenever he was panicking.
“What is it, lad?” he asked, clutching both bars in his hand as he quickly made his way out of his aisle and over to Jason.
To Bruce’s immense relief, he was still there, right where Bruce thought. Standing in front of the M&Ms. As far as he could tell, Jason had just been looking at the candy.
There was another person in the aisle, but he was casually walking in the opposite direction, a few bags of gummy worms in his hands.
Jason wrapped his arms around himself and trembled slightly as Bruce approached, and Bruce looked back at the other person, scrutinizing him a little more.
He was a broad man, about three inches shorter than Bruce, and seemed to just be picking out snacks. He grabbed a bag of cashews from the end cap, and caught Bruce’s eye as he did. But didn’t seem… anything, really.
“What’s wrong?” Bruce asked, kneeling down next to Jason and scanning him for any hint of injury. Any sign of what had upset him. Jason was a rather sensitive child, he’d come to learn, but usually he hid it very well under his street kid bravado.
It was only in the privacy of his locked room did Jason ever let go. Bruce had yet to be privy to such an episode, other than to hear the faint whimpers from the other side of the door. And he’d yet to gather enough courage to knock. Ask if Jason needed anything. Like maybe an ear to listen, reassurances, or even just a hug. If Jason would allow such a thing.
“Nothing,” Jason said, his voice doing nothing to mask how shaken up he was. He tightened his arms around his stomach and added, “I just— I thought you’d left me,” his eyes flitting away from Bruce, and back at all the candy.
Bruce frowned. He didn’t believe Jason for a second. Sure, Jason wasn’t completely secure in his place in the Wayne family, but he knew Bruce wouldn’t outright abandon him at a convenience store.
Right?
“Of course I didn’t leave you, Jay,” he said, reaching up and placing a hand on Jason’s back to rub a circle there. Jason tensed, as he always did, but then let out a quiet sigh and dropped his shoulders. “I was just picking out a snack. Did you find something you wanted?”
With a jerky nod, Jason reached out and picked out a bag of M&Ms, seemingly at random, and showed them to Bruce.
“Okay, buddy. Did you want a drink, too?”
“Yeah,” Jason breathed, before he took a deep breath and straightened up.
Bruce stood, and removed his hand when Jason pulled away. But Jason didn’t start moving. Instead, he looked up at Bruce, as if waiting for Bruce to lead him to the drinks.
It made Bruce frown harder. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, placing a hand on Jason’s shoulder and squeezing.
All Jason did was nod. Nod and lean into Bruce’s touch.
Which only made Bruce more concerned, not less. Because Jason did not like his personal space being invaded.
He tolerated it, sometimes. The random hair ruffle, or pat on the back. Just the small reassurances. But never more than a few seconds at a time, and never did he lean into it. Even when it made him smile. He just wasn’t at the point where he trusted physical affection, and Bruce got it. He did.
So what changed?
“Okay,” he said, a little unsure, “Did you want a Dr. Pepper, or something different?”
Dr. Pepper was Jason’s usual soft drink of choice, and it was what Bruce had fully expected him to pick out.
And sure enough, Jason nodded and said, “Yeah. A can of it.”
They walked to the sodas together and Jason kept himself glued to Bruce’s side the whole time. Every time Bruce put his hand on him, he took a deep breath, and seemed to relax further.
And all it did was made Bruce more concerned.
After they checked out and left the store in silence, they moved on to the park. The original plan had been to get snacks and eat them while walking around. Jason loved the city, and walking around Gotham’s main park was the compromise they’d come up with. The compromise between letting Jason roam Crime Alley alone and Bruce not wanting Jason in Gotham at all.
Bruce led them to a bench so Jason could manage the can of soda and bag of M&Ms easier before they did any serious walking. The bench was large, and Bruce fully expected Jason to sit on the edge, similar to how he always sat on the very edge of the couch, as far away from Bruce as he could be.
But he didn’t. He sat down right in the middle, right next to Bruce.
And again, it was weird how close he was. Jason never allowed himself to be that close to people. He did come close, sometimes. When they practiced self-defense. When Bruce was teaching him how to tie his school tie. The one time Jason had let Bruce hug him. But there was always a purpose. Never did he just… stay close.
Jason didn’t find comfort in being near, he’d thought. They hadn’t had that level of trust yet. He wasn’t sure it was even possible to gain that level of trust, with Jason.
With a kid who had been through some horrific things in his life, and suffered all sorts of abuse. Not that Jason had ever regaled Bruce with any tales, yet. But Bruce could tell. Just based on how he reacted to things.
And how he never let anyone close to him, for any length of time.
“Are you sure you’re okay,” Bruce asked, once again. He felt like a broken record, but he was at a complete loss of what else to do.
“Yeah,” Jason said, between handfuls of M&Ms, “I’m fine.”
Bruce put an arm up on the bench behind Jason, and said, “Okay. But if you’re not, you can tell me, you know that? You can tell me anything.”
“I know,” Jason said, offering a ghost of a smile as he leaned back, letting his head rest back against Bruce’s arm. He closed his eyes, for a moment, and took a deep breath before turning his attention back to his candy.
And again, it didn’t assuage Bruce’s concerns in the least.
- - -
The rest of the day passed in much the same manner. They walked around the park for a bit, but Jason soon grew bored. Bruce had expected him to be more active. Maybe run around some, mess around on the gym equipment, or even talk to the dog walkers as he pet every dog he saw.
But none of that happened.
Instead, Jason stayed right by Bruce’s side, as he just silently observed the world around them.
Eventually they started exploring the little shops surrounding the park. There was a rare and used book shop nearby Bruce just knew Jason would love, but Bruce didn’t want to start with that, so first he brought Jason into one of the many ‘tourist trap’ style stores.
Dick used to love these sorts of stores. Just a crammed pack store filled to the brim with random, crappy souvenirs and whatever the latest trend in toys was. He used to always look through the keychains that had common names on them, trying his best to find his own. No matter how many times Bruce told him, “You are not going to find a keychain with the name ‘Dick’ on it,” Dick insisted on looking, anyway.
Once he’d found a little New Jersey bike license plate with ‘Grayson’ on it, though, which had made him pretty happy.
Jason didn’t particularly like tacky things, not when it came to purchasing and owning such items. He did, however, typically enjoy looking around and making fun of everything.
So it was kind of strange how, when they stepped into the shop, Jason barely even looking around from where he stayed standing, right next to Bruce.
“I see at least seven different bat symbol designs,” Bruce said, quietly, trying to get Jason to perk up, even if just a little. Batman stuff was his favorite thing to make fun of.
Especially when the bat was drawn so horribly.
All Jason did was offer a ghost of a smile as he started following Bruce around the store, over to all the Batman merchandise. He looked around, but nothing apparently caught his attention, so Bruce moved on toward the huge wall of t-shirts.
Those touristy type t-shirts with ‘Gotham City’ written in about fifteen different fonts and designs alongside plenty of Batman related shirts, a couple Robin ones, and a handful other random sayings. Bruce pointed to one of the displays that read ‘I’m not saying I’m Batman, I’m just saying Batman and I have never been in the same room together,’ and asked, “What do you think? Should I get it?”
Finally, Jason smiled a little more, biting down on his lip as he often did, like he were trying not to smile. He shook his head after a second, and said, “You don’t even wear t-shirts.”
“I do so,” Bruce said, feigning outrage. Even though he was currently wearing a suit, without a tie, while they were having a leisurely walk around the park, “I wear them all the time.”
Jason scoffed, “Ya, like old ratty ones when you work out or sleep. My street clothes were in better shape than those.”
“Fine,” Bruce said, pulling out a 2XL from the bottom of the stack of shirts, “Guess that means I need new ones, huh?”
With a wide grin, Jason said, “I dare you to actually wear that.”
“I will.”
“Uh huh, I believe you,” Jason said sarcastically. He shifted at Bruce’s side, and actually started looking at all the different t-shirt designs.
“This is $20 on its own, or two for $25,” Bruce said, pointing at a sale sign, “so why don’t you pick one out for yourself.”
“All these are way too big for me,” was all Jason said, even as his eyes kept scanning all the various designs.
And while he was technically true, Jason still wore children’s sized clothing, he didn’t drown in S or XS shirts. “Extra small fits you fine. Plus, you can grow into it and wear it a bit longer.”
“Okay,” Jason said, skeptically, but he did step away from Bruce long enough to look at all the options more closely. Eventually, he settled on a grey shirt that simply said Gotham City on the front in a very basic font. It wasn’t quite as ‘fun’ as some of the other shirts, but Bruce was just glad he’d picked something out.
Besides, it was a little endearing how much Jason still loved his city. Even after it had treated him so badly.
“Want anything else?” Bruce asked, leading Jason away from the t-shirts and through the toy section, which was unavoidable on the way to the register.
As expected, Jason shook his head ‘no.’
Bruce would love it if Jason picked out something else, like perhaps one of the large Pokemon plushes, or a Gotham themed LEGO set, but a t-shirt was victory enough. Bruce was not going to push him any further.
Especially not when he was still acting so strangely.
After Bruce paid for the shirts and the two of them left the store, Jason’s mood hadn’t really improved. Despite his moments of smiles and banter in the store, his face reverted right back to a blank expression as they walked down the street.
Jason’s blank expressions were almost worse than his upset ones. When Jason went blank, it was usually because he was afraid of showing Bruce his real emotions. Afraid that his emotions would set off the adults in his vicinity, and bring harm down upon himself.
Whether Jason did that consciously, Bruce didn’t know. But it hadn’t taken long for Bruce to figure out that’s what was going on.
Bruce set his hand on the base of Jason’s neck and massaged his shoulders just a touch. Jason flinched, of course. Just slightly, but quickly relaxed into the hold as they kept walking.
“There’s a used and rare book store up the road, want to check it out?” Bruce asked, moving so his arm was slung over Jason’s shoulder, pulling him a little closer as they walked. He wasn’t quite hugging him, but it was almost there.
Jason didn’t seem to mind, either, because he looked up and asked, a touch curiously, “Rare books? Like what?”
“Let’s find out,” Bruce said, as they turned the corner of a block, to head the two blocks toward the store he was thinking of, “I’ve gotten a few gems there over the years, like my signed first edition of Alice in Wonderland.”
“You what?” Jason said, his eyes going wide, “How much did that cost?”
“Do you really want to know?” It had been quite an expensive find. More than the cost of most new cars, actually, but Bruce hadn’t been able to resist. It had beautiful illustrations in it, as well, and was an excellent addition to his collection.
“No,” Jason said, almost scornfully, “I bet you paid way too much for it.”
With a smile, Bruce stopped for traffic at the final crosswalk before the store. He gripped onto Jason’s shoulder to get him to stop, too, and said, “I’ll show you with when we get home, if you want.” He didn’t think he paid too much for it, but he supposed it was all relative. He’d gotten the book for a very good price, considering what it was.
But if looking at it from the perspective of ‘it’s a book’ and not ‘its a first edition signed book,’ he supposed it was a little pricey.
Regardless.
“It’s actually signed by Lewis Carrol,” Jason asked, looking back up at him, this time with a touch of wonder in his eyes.
Bruce squeezed his shoulder and said, “Sure is.”
“Wow.”
They finished the short walk to the bookstore, and once inside, Bruce let go of Jason.
But Jason didn’t wander. He looked around, obviously intrigued by everything, but didn’t take a single step further into the shop than Bruce did. “Go on,” Bruce said, motioning at all the shelves of books, “Look around.”
The look of pure pleading Jason sent his way, at that, only made the pit in Bruce’s stomach grow heavier. Because Jason was looking at him as if begging not to be left. Like the very last thing he wanted was to leave Bruce’s side, for any reason. Even to look at what was his favorite thing in the whole world. Books.
Jason loved books. So for him to be so shaken that he didn’t even want to look at them, if it meant getting out of Bruce’s reach…
“Lad,” he sighed, kneeling down so he was looking up at Jason, rather than looming over him, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Swallowing, Jason cleared his throat, as if to speak, but then all he did was nod his head.
“You can look around,” Bruce said, placing a hand on Jason’s back, trying to encourage him to walk around, “I’ll just be over there looking at what’s behind the glass. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I—“ Jason started, as he looked around the store again.
The store wasn’t empty, there were a couple other groups, as well as a few single shoppers milling about, but it was a decent sized store and did not feel crowded at all.
Whatever Jason was seeing, however, was apparently too much for him, because he shook his head and whispered, “I just want to stay with you.”
What had scared his independent little child so thoroughly?
“Okay,” Bruce said, patting Jason’s back as he stood, “I won’t make you do anything.”
He wouldn’t make Jason do anything, but he most certainly would be hacking into that store’s server to see if he could figure out what had happened. What had freaked Jason out so much?
Perhaps he really had thought Bruce left? Had someone walked out the door just before Jason freaked out?
Bruce walked over to the glass cases, as promised, and took a few moments to review all the titles. He smiled and nodded at the shop owner, Freddy, when he said hi, but otherwise they were left alone as they browsed.
Jason stayed right by his side, and only seemed mildly interested in looking at everything.
Likely because the prices of the books were prominently displayed, and several of them were priced well into the quadruple digits…
So Bruce didn’t spend too long browsing. He wasn’t really looking for anything, anyway. Alfred’s birthday wasn’t coming up, and Father’s day had already passed, so he did not need a gift for him, anyway. And that was typically why he purchased first edition books. As gifts for Alfred.
Perhaps he could also purchase Jason first editions for his birthday.
They wandered around the store, Bruce walking slowly to ensure Jason had plenty of time to peruse all the stacks. He wasn’t holding his breath for it, but he did hope Jason would pick something out. Or would, at least, linger on a book or two, so Bruce would know what to purchase him anyway.
Instead, about five minutes into their perusing, the shop door’s bell rang as two men stepped into the store. They were a bit boisterous, and immediately struck up a conversation with Freddy behind the counter.
Jason sidestepped, almost pressing himself into Bruce’s leg. If he were only two inches closer, he would be.
Bruce thoughtlessly put his hand on the side of Jason’s head, combing his hair back like he had done to Dick dozens of times before. Anytime Dick stepped so close. Because every time Dick had done it, he’d been looking for that affection. That little bit of reassurance from Bruce.
It wasn’t until his fingers were moving back to comb through Jason’s hair again did he pause.
But Jason didn’t flinch. Didn’t shy away. In fact, he leaned his head against Bruce and closed his eyes, taking a deep, steadying breath.
That pit in his stomach only grew heavier.
He definitely needed to review the security footage. And pay closer attention to the other person in the aisle with Jason.
What had they done?
“See anything you want,” Bruce said softly, as he combed through Jason’s hair again. When all Jason did was shake his head, Bruce said, “Okay. We can come back another time.” Perhaps the best thing for them to do was go home.
Go home so Bruce could figure out what had happened.
“Okay,” Jason murmured, easily following when Bruce turned to leave.
And when Jason didn’t even look back longingly at the books, like he did every single time he pretended he was ready to leave without buying something at a bookstore, Bruce’s stomach completely bottomed out.
He needed to get to the bottom of what the hell had happened to his little boy.