Chapter Text
Kai couldn't sleep with the copious amount of guilt eating away at him. He stayed awake for the most part and tried not to feel creepy as he stared at Bonnie sleeping in his arms. She would never admit it, but she snored like a grown man which shouldn't have been as endearing to him as it was. Sometimes her brows would furrow as if she's upset with something in her dreams. Then, she'd relax back into his arms and a fresh look of contentedness transformed her features into something much more innocent. It was a look that Kai could only recall from memories of their childhood - when he wasn't pulling her hair, of course. When she was with Caroline on the swingset talking about God knows what, he remembered such a serene look on her face. She had no worries at all, aside from him making it his job to irritate her any chance he got. At some point in the night, she had rolled over and wrapped her arms around him. He had to adjust to the literal hug that they were sharing, but he didn't complain - not even as her hair splayed out in every direction and tickled his face or as his arm fell asleep under her torso. Eventually, he fell asleep, but he wishes he didn't.
He didn't quite know what to feel as he watched Bonnie practically sprinting away from him the following morning. He thought his point had clearly gotten across the night before. He thought they were on better terms. She let him cuddle with her in bed, lace their fingers together, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, kiss her neck. Why would she lead him on like that?
He didn't want to stress about it so much, but there seemed to be nothing else to do. She left him. It's not like he had enough money on him, either. He was stranded. All he felt now was anger, anger at himself, anger at Bonnie, and anger at Caroline for assisting her in ditching him. He knew Caroline had never liked him, not since preschool. It was either Caroline or the other annoying friend, Elena, there to stop him from spending time with her. He never trusted them, especially not after they spread rumors in middle school about him killing woodland creatures for fun. No one sat next to him again until 10th grade.
He wandered around the motel parking lot now, praying that one of the losers who had parked their car had been dumb enough to leave it unlocked. In the back of his mind, Bonnie scolded him, wearing that judging frown that could make the most innocent of men feel guilty.
Luckily, she wasn't around to see, so he had no room in him for crap like guilt.
He approached a jeep with an excited gleam in his eyes. And with no Bonnie around to tell him not to, he opened the door and slid into the driver's seat. With a flick of siphoned magic from his fingers, the car roared to life, instantly blasting a country music station. Kai cringed and turned the station into something a bit more nineties grunge. There was just something about driving through the city limits in a jeep, listening to Three Days Grace, and plotting the ultimate demise of his best frenemy's friends that made him all giddy and warm on the inside.
He thought about calling her phone to apologize for what he did and for what he will do, but he had more self-control than that. Got to make her sweat it out a little bit, quite like she did to him in seventh grade. The memory came back bitterly to the forefront of his mind.
------
It was the seventh grade and they were all together in science class. There were twelve tables of twos in the classroom, three in each row. Elena and Caroline sat in the middle row gossiping about how cute they both thought Matt was instead of paying attention to their teacher assigning lab partners. Bonnie sat with Tyler at the table in front of him and she was laughing hysterically. Kai rolled his eyes. Tyler's eyes were so focused on the ginger in the front row that he hadn't seen the obvious flirtation tactics that Bonnie was using.
The seat beside him was empty. He wished it were because someone had been absent and not because Caroline had spread a rumor that he killed wilderness creatures for fun.
She wasn't far off, he thought, but it was still rude to go telling everyone his business.
The teacher was announcing lab partners for some bullshit project that Kai knew he would never even start on.
"Elena and Tyler," their teacher announced. Hearing Elena's groan of distaste brought a smile to his face. Tyler looked just as irritated, if not angry. Kai folded his hands on his desk, suddenly interested in his school for once. Bonnie's face fell as Tyler stood up to go sit beside Elena. Caroline had been partnered with some other blonde know-it-all that the class didn't need.
Bonnie's shoulders tensed once he began staring at her. He smirked as he balled up a piece of loose leaf, then threw it in her hair. She turned, glaring.
"Stop it." She whispered angrily. He smirked.
"Oh, I'm sorry, is that annoying?" He asked. "As annoying as you giggling at everything Tyler says? Not even close."
"Bonnie...Malachai. Anything you'd like to share with the classroom?" Their teacher asked in a shrill voice. Kai only grew more amused, seeing as Bonnie looked like she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Most of the class turned to both of them like they were expecting some sort of show. Elena and Caroline were practically out of their seats looking ready to come to her rescue.
"Sorry, Ms. Wells." Bonnie immediately turned back around. Ms. Wells began listing off names again. Kai smiled to himself.
"Sweet little Bonnie," He whispered, knowing that she'd hear him. "Scared of disobeying rules. Scared of being anything other than what Ella and Coroline taught you to be. Frigid. Tolerant." He kept his voice relatively low. Bonnie's fists clenched. "You know, maybe that's why Tyler doesn't like you. You ever think of that? He usually goes for more carefree girls, like Matt's disgusting sister. You're probably an annoying little brat to him, so stuck up and mean and bitchy." He continued antagonizing her until she cracked.
"Fuck you, Kai!" She yelled, turning towards him in a fit of rage. The classroom gasped and grew quiet.
"Since it seems you two are so close, I'm sure you'll be even closer in detention together." Ms. Wells finalized. Bonnie gasped. Kai kept a smug look on his face, even as Bonnie and her pack of friends were glaring at him.
He was happy that day, especially since he knew it would be easier to annoy Bonnie. He would pinch her thigh when she was concentrated on taking notes through detention. Then, when she tried to retaliate he'd make an over-exaggerated moaning noise that would get her to stop. Everything was going well until one day Caroline and Elena ganged up on him after class. They thought they were intimidating.
"If you don't leave Bonnie alone, we'll tell everyone what type of guy you really are." Elena threatened. He shrugged.
"Go ahead. I don't even think you know what type of guy I 'really am'." He chuckled to himself.
"You're Satan! And you will not continue to harass our Bonnie. We'll make sure that you're never near her ever again. The most you'll see of Bonnie is the back of her head." Caroline added in.
"Oh, I think I like that idea, Bubbles," He smirked suggestively. It took Caroline a few seconds before she finally let out an, 'ew, Kai!'. He just chuckled to himself and walked away.
He didn't actually think that the two were serious. For the next following weeks, he was lucky to even see a glimpse of her as he walked down the hallway, seeing as they manipulated the teachers to have Bonnie seated in the furthest desks from himself. By the time he did see her again, she had a boyfriend and the Powerpuff duo oozed smugness. He never forgave them ever since.
---
Bonnie inspected the foreign splotch of purple and red hues on the side of her neck. It was just above her collarbone, the perfect place to be seen by the entire town. She had vaguely remembered him making it and she almost wished that she were in her right mind that night, maybe she would've slapped sense into him and made him walk back into his designated motel room. She felt the need to thank the heavens that her father hadn't seen it when she walked in the house that day. Unfortunately, Caroline and Elena had noticed it instantly. Feminine intuition, they called it.
It had been her last encounter with Kai Parker in days. She hadn't seen him around the school or in town, not even around his house. She wondered if he actually ran away, started a new life. It was bothering her more than she'd ever like to admit, especially since none of his siblings seemed to care. She ran into Jo at the supermarket the other day asking about him and his twin all but rolled her eyes. Next, she walked into the sophomore hallway to interrogate Dennis about his older brother, but he showed even less interest than Jo and brushed past her to get to class. She was about to stoop so low as to find little Luke and Olivia and question them instead. She had to face the facts: out of Mr. Parker, Mrs. Parker, Jo, Henry & Dennis, Rachel & Alissa, Luke & Olivia - she was the only one who genuinely cared about him.
She had tried her hardest not to make interacting with him a habit. Now, she checks he phone for missed calls from him like a second nature. But he never called. She figured he thought she needed space after what happened that night. It had been five days. She didn't appreciate all the space he was giving her, she finally admitted to herself.
"Bonnie, are you okay?" Caroline asked. She snapped out of her trance and returned to earth. Caroline and Elena sat in front of her with similarly concerned facial expressions. Right, she was at Caroline's house for their sleepover night, she couldn't space out anymore.
"I'm fine," she replied. The duo gave her raised eyebrows.
"Really? Because ever since that night -" Elena began. Bonnie held a hand up, shushing her.
"I'm fine."
"This wouldn't have anything to do with Kai...would it?" Caroline asked, looking as if she already knew the answer. Bonnie groaned. Of course, they had found out. Those two couldn't mind their own business if it were their jobs.
"Guys, just leave it alone," she stood from Caroline's bed. Elena and Caroline followed suit.
"Why wouldn't you tell us?" Elena asked.
"Because you wouldn't understand." She replied. She loves them to death, but the two of them have said so many horrible things about Kai Parker in the last dozen years. It has always been exceptionally difficult being friendly-ish with Kai while in the presence of Caroline and Elena, as they both would throw dirty, judgy looks her way. Most of the school had something out for Kai and if Bonnie was being honest, it was because Elena and Caroline would bad-mouth him to anyone who just so happened to pass by. Bonnie was by no means innocent to making Kai out to be a bad guy in front of large groups of people, but her friends' intentions were driven by pure hatred and desire to drive him out of their school forever. Kai was far too stubborn and unbothered to consider leaving because of some nasty things said about him, but that never stopped her friends. And she understood that they were only defending her, but at some point, they have to trust that she can deal with that problem herself, she's been through far worse.
"That's not true."
"You both hate Kai! And I know you think that I should hate Kai too, which I do sometimes, but...I don't. It's complicated and difficult and stupid, but I have a soft spot for the evil son of a bitch." She tried to explain. Elena gave her a look.
"Bonnie, we understand that you feel...close to Kai, given your history. I mean, we were all in preschool together. And you're his neighbor! But, I'm telling you, he's not exactly the sanest person in the bunch and honestly, you don't need that kind of drama in your life. I mean, look at you! You haven't slept in days! It's not healthy, Bon. We just want what's best for you." Elena explained, even as Bonnie began walking out of the room. Caroline trailed her, determination lighting her blue eyes. She couldn't keep watching Bonnie suffer over someone who would never be worthy of Bennett tears.
"You can't honestly be upset over this, Bon. You're the one who left Kai in the first place, you should be agreeing with us." Caroline grabbed her arm. Bonnie loved her friends, she'd risk her life to keep them safe. However, just based on how this conversation was going, she was also willing to kill them herself.
"I was hurt, Care! He siphoned from me and I didn't know how to react! He hadn't siphoned from me in years because that's just how much closer we grew to each other. You know the last time he did that to me was four years ago? And he didn't even want to do it, I had to make him do it because his abusive ass father did God-knows-what to him and he had to heal himself! So, yeah, I was hurt that he selfishly took my power without asking. But the rest of that night was just him apologizing to me - so much that I still hear his voice ringing in my ears! He just kept apologizing and holding me and making me feel like..." she trailed off once she'd seen their wide eyes. "I just had to get out of there. I never wanted to abandon him, I just figured he'd be here by now."
"I'd count this as a blessing, Bonnie. Kai has been interfering with your life for too long now, whisking you away to weird places on school nights and keeping you up with his psycho-whining! He's not your responsibility every time he goes off his rocker, Bon, he's crazy, just let him be crazy!" Caroline argued back. Elena sensed the tension beginning to rise and stepped in between her friends, hands raised in surrender.
"Caroline..." Elena stared at Caroline with wide eyes, silently telling her to chill out. Bonnie didn't even register the interaction, all too wrapped up in their reduction of her and Kai's relationship - whatever they had. Was it fair to say that her caring about what happened to Kai was an interference in her life? If that was the case, she shouldn't be around Caroline and Elena either. She can't help that she cares about Kai, that's just something that she can't get rid of.
"No, Elena, let her get this out. She's probably been holding it in for years." Bonnie crossed her arms, awaiting her friend's next dig.
Caroline didn't ease up on her anti-Kai pursuit, not even as Elena gave her another warning look. "You wanna talk about holding things in for years? How about this then: you and Kai made out in the storage closet during the freshman year Homecoming dance." Caroline outed accusingly. Elena gasped, turning to Bonnie as well looking like she didn't even know her anymore. "And you didn't even tell me! I had to find out from Tyler, who just so happened to be walking by at that time. I mean, I just don't get it. He spends his entire life being nothing but rude to you, pushing you, teasing you, getting you in trouble and you repay him with your body? You know, Bonnie, this isn't pre-school anymore and when a boy hurts you, it's not cute and it doesn't mean he likes you. It means you should stay away from him and find someone who would treat you with respect. But, I don't know, maybe after all these years you've begun to crave abuse from others."
Elena tensed. Bonnie glared.
"That's rich coming from you. How's Klaus doing, by the way?" Bonnie asked, knowing just how to get back to her self-righteous best friend. Caroline scoffed, but Bonnie could see right through her facade. Sleeping with Klaus has been haunting Caroline ever since it happened, it was a big grey area over her black and white world and she didn't know how to deal with it like a regular person, so she liked pretending as if it never happened.
"There's a difference between a meaningless fuck and allowing yourself to be Kleenex for someone."
"I don't know, it seemed like Klaus used you up pretty good." She was starting to get angry and her magic was practically urging her to put it to use. Caroline gaped at her, unsure of how to respond to that statement without calling her a bitch. Elena used the lull in conversation to jump in again.
"We've all made mistakes, alright? We've all liked bad guys, let's not tear each other down for it."
"Don't put my bad guy on the same level as your bad guys! At least, Kai can honestly say he's never killed someone innocent. Can yours say the same?"
"Woah, I'm just trying to help you out," Elena said.
"I don't need help, I'm fine. I'm not affected by hypocrites who point fingers." Bonnie gave a pointed look to Caroline who looked seconds away from vamping out. Bonnie took that as her cue to leave and she moved to grab her coat and started walking towards the front door without another word. They could make her out to be a naive little girl all they wanted, but they would never understand everything that she and Kai have been through no matter how much they psychoanalyzed her.
--
Bonnie paced back and forth in the comfort of her room, eyes locked in on her phone. He hadn't called her back, not even after two very embarrassing and frantic voice messages. Endless scenarios rushed through her brain, an insurmountable plethora of visions involving Kai - his lifeless body somewhere unknown, the terror on his face as he's being kidnapped by an unannounced town enemy, him seeing her call and not being able to answer because he was bleeding out. They were possible things that could happen, she realized, and that thought nearly made her have to empty her guts over the toilet. She could understand if it had been a few minuscule days that he needed to take off, but there was no way he was gone for one week without notice. He wouldn't do something so stupid, she thought as she paced herself into oblivion. They were in no way on the best of terms, but he was Kai and she was Bonnie. That had to count for something.
She threw in the towel as the evening approached, stopping her worried pacing and laying back on her bed. In one swift motion, she shimmied out of her skirt and rested on her comforter in just her tank top thinking about how she was gonna make up with Caroline and Elena. Some mean things were said that no doubt hurt all their feelings, but they've been friends for too many years to be ripped apart by their opinions on the guys they date.
But I'm not even dating Kai, Bonnie thought to herself. That's not fair.
The most that has ever happened between them is left in the memories of a dusty storage closet in the hallway of their school and that was just a drunken mistake. She always seems to make drunken mistakes with him. Realizing her mind was going back to its endless loop of Kai memories, she shook herself out of it and tried to focus on things that were far more important - like her friends, her family, and her schoolwork.
All that did was make her drift off to sleep and dream about what she tried to push to the back of her mind.
---
It was her first day of school. The room was bustling with kids that she had never seen before and little Bonnie had been careful enough to hide behind her father's legs as the kids raced around the classroom like a pack of wild animals. She remembered him leaning down on one knee before he left her, instructing her to try and make new friends. She could only nod shyly and cling to him one last time before he left her. Her teacher, Ms. Hoffer, gently took her hand and introduced her to the classroom. She stared in awe as Ms. Hoffer managed to relax the children and order them to sit on the colorful carpet in the front of the classroom.
"Class, we have a new student. This is Bonnie Bennett." She spoke.
"Hi, Bonnie!" The class yelled collectively. She smiled. Everyone seemed nice enough, especially the blonde in the front row that was waving frantically and bouncing up and down.
"See. Looks like you already have a new friend waiting for you. Go on and meet Caroline." She whispered down to her. Bonnie tasseled with her two pigtails nervously as she skipped over to meet Caroline. However, mid-trip, a short leg shot out and knocked her tiny frame off balance. She tumbled to the carpet ungracefully, getting hot with embarrassment.
"Malachai! Corner!" Ms. Hoffer yelled in the most gentle voice she could muster. Bonnie would never forget looking up at him for that first time. The kid had on jean overalls and a bright yellow shirt with hair swept all over his face. He stuck his tongue out at her and then ran into his designated corner. She hated him already.
---
It wasn't until first grade that Bonnie began retaliating against Kai's attacks.
She was on the multicolored carpet with Elena, building up the lego castle to rule all other lego castles. It was a large mess of random pieces stuck in places they surely weren't supposed to go in, but in the eyes of two companions, it was an architectural masterpiece. Until one angry boy decided to kick their creation until nothing was left of the castle. Elena didn't waste time in getting up and running to get the teacher to deal with it, but Bonnie was shocked and angry. She stayed right where she was on the carpet and glared him down. He had never seen her so angry at him before, so he backed away without so much as a word. Elena saw to it that he was punished accordingly, then decided to engage Bonnie into a Barbie game instead. What she hadn't known was that Bonnie finally felt something snap within her, finally wanted revenge without even knowing how to spell the word.
The following day, Bonnie still felt this ridiculous feeling in her chest and she knew it wouldn't go away until she had ruined something of Malachai's. So, after she saw how satisfied he was with his finger painting during arts and crafts, she had an idea. She waited and watched as the teacher praised him for his drawing, implying that there was hope for him after all. He smiled innocently, probably not used to hearing such praise, then took off his smock so he could wash himself off with the other kids. Bonnie knew that Mrs. Ripley always took a bathroom break as the kids were washing themselves off, so she took the small opportunity. She stopped Kai from running to the bathroom with the rest of their class.
"You didn't say sorry," was all she said. Kai shrugged. And with that, she ripped the finger painting to shreds. Kai watched in amusement as she did so, then he was confused as she moved onto the painting next to her and ripped that one too. Bonnie didn't stop ripping art, not even when Kai asked what she was doing. She handed him a few shreds, which he took without question, still standing shocked still in confusion.
And then she screamed.
"What's wrong with you?! What are you --" Kai tried to ask, but Mrs. Ripley was back and Bonnie had made herself cry and Kai was holding ripped pieces of other students paintings while his own was perfectly intact. "I didn't do it!" He tried to say, but it was too late. The rest of the class had gathered at the door to see him get sent to the office, all of them sending hateful glares. He took one last glance at Bonnie before leaving the room. She wiped her fake tears away and shrugged at him. He hated her.
---
It had been the beginning of freshman year. Bonnie was steaming with anger after Kai had tripped her in the hallways again. Without a doubt, every year, he had managed to trip her on the first day of school. This had been different, though. She was trying to be a different Bonnie, not the girl who would be referred to as Bambi for the remainder of the school year. The kids were already laughing at her as she pushed herself up from the ground. Afraid of people seeing her get misty-eyed, she rushed towards the bathrooms and hid inside.
Great, she had thought, the first day she learned how to apply mascara and she would ruin it because of her stupid emotions. She fully intended on staying inside the bathroom and wait for the bell to ring until the door pushed open.
"Bonnie! Are you alright?" Kai asked. She nearly screamed.
"This is the girl's room!" She pointed accusingly. He rolled his eyes, making his way towards her regardless. "Get out, Kai!" She tried again. He just grabbed her hands in his.
"What's wrong? I mean, you should've seen that coming, I do it every year. You never react like this." He stated, feigning a look of pure curiosity.
"I don't want to keep repeating middle school. Everyone called me Bambi - and they weren't even referring to how cute I am," she pouted, "we have to come to some sort of understanding this year. No more tripping me in front of the entire school." She requested. He thought it over comically, resting his hand on his chin and looking off into the distance as if the thought plagued him. Bonnie hit his arm.
"Alright. What do I get in return?" He asked suggestively, giving her a once over. She made a barfing noise.
"You can get real." She retorted quickly. Kai continued staring her down, knowing she'd cave eventually. "Fine. I'll let you borrow some spell books." She offered. He beamed, no doubt planning to do some damage of some kind once he got some new spells in his system.
"Deal. Hug on it?" He asked. Before she could decline, he pulled her into his arms and the familiar stinging sensation of having her magic ripper from her overcame her. She grunted in his hold but didn't push him away because she knew that he liked when she did that. Instead, her hand shot up to grip his hair, hoping that he'd feel half the pain that she did. He groaned back as she tugged on his hair and then dropped his head to her neck. The siphoning came to an abrupt halt as he kissed the side of her neck instead. She pushed him away then.
"See you at lunch, Bambi." Kai winked as he walked out of the girl's bathroom unnoticed.
----
Bonnie awoke with a gasp. It's like she just couldn't escape this guy! She settled back comfortably into her bed, staring up into darkness as she tried to make herself go back to sleep.
"Bad dream?" She heard Kai's voice, then thought that she'd begun to actually go crazy. "They weren't dreams, more like memories. Pretty cool, right?"
Bonnie sat up then and turned to see a dark outline sitting on the side of her bed.
"Kai?" She asked, still questioning her sanity for a moment. He chuckled.
"Please, refrain from throwing me into a wall or out the window, I'm super tired." He explained hoping it would save him from being lit on fire. Instead, Bonnie threw herself into him, arms wrapped around his neck and legs straddling his lap. Kai tensed up, unknowing that he was receiving a hug until she let out a relieved sigh. "Well, this is new," he cleared his throat.
"Where were you?" Bonnie whispered into his neck. Not one to lose an opportunity to hold Bonnie, he wrapped his arms around his midsection and squeezed. He loved holding her, he couldn't believe she was willingly letting him do it again.
"I thought you needed some space. Miss me?" He asked teasingly, but Bonnie was lost in the fact that he was here in the flesh with her, not hurt or in pain and so familiar. She smiled into his skin, loving how warm he was in contrast to her.
"Not even a little bit," she pulled away to look at his face, "we were about to throw a celebration party, actually. You don't know how many people wanted you gone for good."
He grinned as though she paid him a compliment. "No, I do. But you aren't one of them." He stated. "You like me too much." His hands traveled from her waist to her face, cradling her supple cheeks in his hands. She could barely make out his expression in the darkness of her room, but his eyes were bright.
"I hate you," she whispered as her own hands moved to grip his shoulders.
"You wish," he whispered back. Bonnie was grateful that the darkness hid her blushing face, but then she realized that he could probably feel her cheeks heating up, so she pushed his hands away. He leaned into her instead, pressing his forehead against hers, waiting for her permission to break whatever friendship rut they were trapped in.
"So, why did you hurt that guy?" Bonnie asked instead. He sighed.
"I told you. He gave me a bad vibe. I just wanted to protect you."
"You know I can protect myself." She called bullshit. "Stop lying to me," she pulled her face away from him, but he quickly gripped the back of her neck to move her back in.
"Fine. I hated him. Happy?"
"He didn't do anything to you." Bonnie tried to reason, but she knew that wouldn't matter to him.
"He had his hands all over you." He said as if the answer has always been obvious, which it was, but Bonnie wanted to hear him say it.
"I'm not yours." Bonnie made clear. "We aren't dating, we don't get jealous of other people, we don't get together to eat dinner and cuddle. You don't have rights to my body just because you're jealous." She explained bitterly. Kai frowned.
"Why not? Like, why aren't we dating?" He asked. Bonnie rolled her eyes, she didn't wanna go through this again. "Is it because of the merge? Because you know I've got that shit in the bag." Bonnie really pushed away from him this time.
"I don't wanna hear you brag about killing your sister." The moment they shared was over. She crawled out of his lap and back on her side of the bed. "This is why we could never work. You're selfish and cruel and you just don't care about anything!" She found her skirt on the floor and quickly pulled it back up to her waist, feeling extremely idiotic for jumping on Kai in her underwear. She hadn't even factored the merge into reasons why she wouldn't date him, but it was a cold wake up call. If Kai won the merge, he'd kill his sister, then probably his dad, and then he'd rule an entire coven which he'd probably just use to do his dirty work. He'd be a real-life villain with a clan and all. Did she really want to continue to defend him and stand by his side as he became who he was destined to be?
"Okay, fine, maybe I am. Maybe I don't care if I kill my fucking sister or anyone else in that house for that matter. Maybe I am cruel and unforgiving and all those other psychology buzz words that make you run back to your stupid friends," he snapped his fingers and the wicks from all of Bonnie's candles lit, casting a dim glow around them. Bonnie could see his face clearly now. "Maybe I don't care about anyone else but you! Does that make you upset? That I prioritize you above everyone else?"
"I can't be with someone like that, it's not healthy," she whispered. Kai walked around the bed to where she sat. She tried her best to avoid looking him in the eyes.
"We can't all be Matt fucking Donovan. Some of us are screwed up, okay? Some of us can never do healthy. Have never even known what healthy felt like to begin with! At least I acknowledge who I am. Isn't that like the first step to wellness or some bullshit? Listen, Bonnie, I don't know what I might do in the future. I just know that I'm not stable without you." He confessed.
"I'm stable without you." She replied. Kai laughed.
"Being bitchy won't get rid of me, you know I love that." He lent down to her level taking her face into his hands. "You are mine, Bonnie. And I'm yours. I don't care if you don't know it yet." He pressed his lips to her cheek before she could object. Bonnie closed her eyes and let the moment linger for a while longer. He stopped kissing her and she opened her eyes. "So, how've you really been doing without me?" Kai backed away from her and bounced back on her bed. Bonnie lied back as well, perpendicular to him and facing the ceiling. She decided to ignore his bold claims of their relationship and take the opportunity to vent.
"Caroline, Elena, and I had this stupid argument a few hours ago, actually."
"Let me guess. They ganged up on you about some vampire thing." He guessed. Bonnie wished.
"Not about some vampire thing. About you." She glanced at him from the side of her eyes. Kai's easy natured demeanor changed drastically and he looked at Bonnie with an intensity that he didn't have before. She wasn't an idiot, she knew that despite Kai acting like he didn't care what her friends said about him, he secretly hated their opinions and didn't want them to influence her outlook on him. In his eyes, they held the power they had over Bonnie over his head and tortured him with the idea that she would leave him like everyone else had. And he knew that Bonnie would trust their words over his, she had no reason not to, especially after he made an ass out of himself and siphoned from her to hurt an innocent man. She had every reason to lash out, but if Elena and Caroline got involved in their issues, there would be hell to pay.
"I know they only want what's best for me, but...they have funny ways of showing it. I said some horrible things that I wish I could take back. They probably think I hate them or something." Bonnie sniffed. Kai's angry expression softened once he noticed the water racing down her cheeks and into her ears. He moved closer, still not touching her body, but close enough so that she could feel him beside her. He's seen Bonnie Bennett cry handfuls of times, usually at his own doing, but he never thought he'd see her cry over her friends. Maybe she'd finally realize she was too good for them.
"If they think that, then they've never really known you. You could never hate them." Kai admitted to his dismay. He wished she hated her stupid friends.
She absentmindedly reached for his hand and held on as her watery eyes stayed fixed on the ceiling. He looked down at their hands wrapped around each other and smiled. That was an improvement if he ever saw one.
"I think we just need a break," Bonnie stated.
"It's alright. I'll be like your fill-in friend. I could go out and buy us some Nicholas Sparks movies and ice cream and we could spend all night gossiping and braiding each other's hair," Kai joked, making Bonnie laugh through her sniffles. "No, really, just say the word and I'll go full on Caroline."
"One of her is enough. I just need you to be you." She whispered, turning her head to face him. His smile told her that she definitely said the wrong thing. "But not too much of you. Nothing purely you. Maybe a nice mix of you and someone else, someone nicer." She quickly corrected herself.
"Anything for you." His tone became flirtatious as his eyes blinked up at her very quickly. She hid her blush under a heated glare.
"Stop that immediately."
"Stop what?" Kai asked teasingly.
"Talking like that."
"I'm not following." He bats his eyelashes innocently.
"Jackass." She murmured. Meanwhile, he was laughing at her annoyance and poking at her side playfully. She hit his arm to stop him. "Can you just promise me one thing?" She asked. Kai sat up on his elbow, turned to Bonnie completely as she struggled to find the words. "Promise that you won't...give up on everything. I know that's what you were doing the other night, running away and stuff. You can't run away from your problems."
"Would you rather I face them like you know I can?" He questioned in reply. Bonnie huffed, then sat up herself. She didn't want him to go on a murder spree, she just wanted him to be normal. Maybe that was asking too much.
"No, I just want you to stop tormenting yourself and everyone around you. All you do is sit around here hating yourself and projecting that on people who didn't even do anything to you! I can't keep hanging around you when you're like that and, honestly, I don't want to. You don't love yourself, you don't think you're good enough, and that way of thinking is making you act so impulsively." Bonnie explained, but he was already turning away from her.
"Psych class must've had a test this week or something. Glad I missed it. How's Tyler, by the way? I hate to say, but I kinda miss making his life miserable."
"Stop changing the subject."
"What am I supposed to fucking say to that? 'Yes, Bonnie, I hate myself so much that it's affecting your life, so sorry for the inconvenience.' How about you stop acting like my therapist and start acting like my fucking friend? I know that merely being in my lowly presence presents a giant moral dilemma in your mind, but maybe once you realize that addressing all my fuckups won't make you feel any better about yourself, you'll actually enjoy life for once." He spat out like he's been holding in those words for a long time. Bonnie recoiled from the blow. "I should get home before one of the twins decide to steal my computer or some shit. See you at school." And then he vanished from thin air.
Bonnie groaned into her hand and fell back into her pillows. Why couldn't she and Kai ever have a single good day?