Chapter Text
Morning arrived, not that Nicholas was too thrilled about that. Crimson light poured through his windows, and Nicholas squeezed his eyes shut tighter. He curled into himself before rolling over to face a still sleeping Terry. Brows furrowed, Nicholas spat his pacifier out, aiming it perfectly to hit Terry in the cheek.
“Ah!” Terry yelped as he shot upright in bed. Nicholas burst into laughter, burying his face in his pillow as he cackled happily. “You asshole!” Terry fussed. He grabbed his pillow and wacked Nicholas gently on the back of the head.
“How am I an asshole?!” Nicholas asked, still laughing as he rolled onto his back.
“You shot your paci at me!” Terry continued to fuss. “I was sleeping!”
“Yeah, and I wanted you to wake up!” Nick said. “Good morning!” he said before dissolving into a puddle of giggles again.
Terry groaned as he threw himself back down beside Nick. “So…you’re not small, now, I’m guessing?” he asked after giving Nicholas a minute to settle down.
“I’m big,” Nick said, a little blush on his face. He grabbed his pacifier from between the two of them and stuffed it into his pillowcase. Terry grimaced. “What?”
“When’s the last time you washed that?” Terry asked.
“I wash it!” Nick insisted. He huffed, and he sat up to tower over Terry. “Besides, I don’t want my mom to come in here to check on us and see my pacifier sitting out…” he grumbled as he picked at his nails.
“I still think you need to tell her about your regression,” Terry said, earning him a glare from Nick. “Just saying! You showed her your new jacket with all that regression stuff all over it, and now she’s got questions.”
“Well, maybe we should go have breakfast in Hell, then,” Nick said.
“You mean in the place that caused everything from yesterday?” Terry questioned.
“Shut up.”
Terry rolled his eyes. He sat up, leaning against the wall. “Why don’t you want to tell your mom?” he asked.
Nicholas huffed. “It’s weird, Terry…” he said.
“Yeah, well, you told me. And Glenn,” Terry countered. “It was weird when you told me, but you still told me. That’s been working out pretty good for you, yeah?” He waited until Nicholas shrugged and nodded. “You didn’t super want to tell Glenn, but we did, and he was cool about it. He promised not to tell your parents and said he’d help if you needed it. He’s not even your parent, technically, so why was that easier than telling your mom?”
“I don’t want to tell her that I’m struggling so bad with all this shit that I have to be a toddler sometimes to deal with it…” Nick said. “Like, telling my mom that I regress is basically just saying that she and Dad messed up so bad that I need a redo. That’s not…I can’t do that to her. She worries enough about me…”
“Maybe if she knew what was going on and how to help, she wouldn’t worry so much,” Terry tried as gently as he could. Nick glared at him. “I know because of the Nick Close stuff, it’s harder to talk to your mom, but…she still wants to take care of you. You’re still her kid. I doubt if she knew you regress that she’d be upset.”
Tears stung in the corners of Nicholas’s eyes. He couldn’t cry, not this early in the morning. Not over something like this. “Mom lost Dad, she lost part of me, a-and I have a whole other set of memories of another her that I lost, too…it’s not as easy as just telling her that I f-feel small and scared…it’s t-telling her that everything is messed up…I don’t wa-want her to worry about anything else…” he said slowly.
Terry sighed, and he scooted closer to pull Nicholas into a hug. “She’s still your mom, and she still wants to make everything better. If she doesn’t know what’s going on, she’s going to worry more than if she knew you regress to feel safe.”
Nick sniffled roughly, keeping his eyes down on his lap. “I don’t want her to worry…”
“Then you should probably tell her what’s going on,” Terry said. He squeezed Nick’s shoulder. “She doesn’t have to tell your dad if you don’t want her to, and it doesn’t have to be a big deal. But she’s gonna worry more if she doesn’t know what’s going on.”
“Okay…” Nicholas whimpered. “I’ll tell her…” He wiped at his nose and eyes, trying to dry his face. “This is gonna suck.”
“I’ll be right here,” Terry said, hoping to reassure him. Nicholas smiled, and he rested his head on Terry’s shoulder.
A knock came on the door, then, and Morgan poked her head into the room. “Oh, you two are up!” she said with a little smile. As she took in the scene before her, though, she furrowed her brows in confusion. “Is everything alright…?” she asked, pushing the door open further.
Nicholas opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He squeaked, looking at Terry for help.
“Everything’s okay, Mrs. Freeman,” Terry said. He sat away from Nicholas just a little bit. “But, there’s something that Nicholas wants to talk to you about…” he said.
“What’s going on?” Morgan asked. She sat down on the corner of the bed, so Nicholas scooted his way into her arms. When he didn’t say anything after a few moments, Morgan decided to try getting the conversation going. “Is this about yesterday, with your jacket?” she asked. Nick nodded. “I wanted to ask you about it, because I was a little worried about what the patches on your jacket were for. I called Mrs. Stampler about it, and she told me that she noticed a few weeks ago that you slept with a pacifier…”
Nick squeaked, looking up at her in surprise. “You talked to Terry’s mom?” he asked.
“I did…” Morgan said with a nod. She looked over at Terry. “She was a little worried about what’s going on between the two of you, if it was something she needed to have a chat with you about.”
“It’s not really something to be worried about, though…” Terry said. He squirmed where he sat, sticking his hands under himself nervously.
“Well, could one of you explain it to me, then?” Morgan asked gently. “I’m not mad about anything, I just want to make sure you two are safe.”
Nick took a deep breath as he tried his best to muster up the courage. His heart hammered in his chest, and his face felt like it might catch fire. “It’s called age regression, Mom…” he said, voice breaking as he spoke.
“Age regression…?” Morgan questioned, confused. “What does that mean?”
“I-it means that sometimes, everything is really stressful and bad, o-or I think too hard about the Forgotten Realms, or I think about the Nick Close memories too hard…and my brain decides the best way to handle it is by, u-um…is by being a little kid again,” Nicholas explained. “I-I’ve been, um, been doing this for a while. I watch, like, movies from when I was little o-or play games from when I was little, a-and I’ve got toys and a sippy cup and a pacifier because they make me feel safe. A-and Terry takes care of me because he feels safe, too…”
For a moment, Morgan was quiet. Nick squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn’t have to see her face.
“I knew you were struggling, but I didn’t realize you were struggling that badly, Nicholas…” Morgan said. She hugged him tightly. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart…”
Nicholas’s eyes stung with tears, and he gripped his mom’s arm tightly with his hands. “It’s not your fault, Mom…” he choked out.
“When he’s small, he doesn’t think so hard about what’s wrong,” Terry said, hoping to explain a little more. “He can take a break from everything, or he can have a good cry about what’s wrong. Yesterday was a little bit of both…”
“That explains why you were slurring your words like that, then,” Morgan said.
“Words are hard when I feel small…” Nicholas explained. He swallowed hard, still waiting for this to get worse.
“He got upset about his dad and the Hell stuff, so he got small and came to me. I tried to help him feel better by making a battle jacket for when he’s small; it kept him pretty distracted,” Terry said. Morgan smiled at him, scooting further onto the bed so she could yank him into the hug.
“You’re a very good friend, then, Terry,” Morgan said.
“I do my best,” Terry said. Nick stuck his tongue out at him, and Terry rolled his eyes. “He’s kind of mean, though. He spat his pacifier at me earlier to wake me up.”
“Hey!” Nick whined. He kicked Terry’s shins in retaliation. Terry kicked back.
“Okay, okay, boys…” Morgan tried her best to not to laugh, but with two ridiculous boys, that was a bit difficult. “Well…thank you for telling me, honey,” she said, looking at Nicholas. She mussed his hair and kissed his temples. “I know it couldn’t have been easy to tell me about this, but I’m very glad you did. And if you need anything…I’ll do my best to help you, okay?”
“Okay, Mama…” Nicholas said. He hugged his mom, thankful this didn’t go horribly. “You can tell Terry’s mom, too, so she doesn’t try to talk to us about it…”
Morgan snorted a laugh at that. “I’ll tell her, then. Maybe she’ll even know a little bit more about this, and she can help you.”
Nicholas wrinkled up his nose, but he didn’t say a word.
“If you two are okay, I’ll go downstairs and start making breakfast, okay?” Morgan said.
“What’re we gonna have?” Nicholas asked.
“Mmm…probably pancakes,” Morgan said. She grinned when her son’s face lit up so brightly. He beamed a big smile at her, and he bounced in his seat excitedly.
“Uh oh,” Terry said, snickering. Nick glared at him. “Giving you sugar is not gonna go well, is it, Nicky?”
“Shut up, Terry,” Nicky fussed.
“Be nice, Nicholas,” Morgan fussed gently. She poked him on the nose as she got to her feet. “You two come downstairs in a few minutes, okay?”
“We will, Mrs. Freeman,” Terry said. Once Morgan left, Terry glanced over at Nicky just in time to see him collapse into his comforter. “I think that went well,” Terry said, ignoring the drama. Nicky whined loudly into the blankets. “Are you okay, Nicky?” he asked.
“I don’t knowwwwww,” Nicky whined. He rolled over to stare up at the ceiling, sniffling. “Mama’s worried…”
“She’s worried, yeah, but she’s a mom,” Terry said. “She’s doing her job, and she wasn’t so worried that she freaked out or anything. She just wants to make sure you’re okay.”
Nicky whined, covering his eyes with his arms before kicking his feet wildly against the mattress.
“Do you wanna take your cup downstairs?” Terry asked. Maybe if he got Nicky’s mind on something else, he could calm down.
“What!” Nicky yelped, sitting up with a big blush on his face.
“You told her you have it,” Terry said with a shrug. He dug into the closet and pulled out the Minions sippy cup, shaking it in the air. “At least this way, we don’t have to worry about you spilling anything or something.”
“I-I…” Nicky’s eyes were wide, and his face was bright red as he processed the idea. Would his mom worry more if she saw his sippy cup? Would she think it was just a return to his childhood?
Nicky held his hand out for the cup, so Terry handed it over. “I want chocolate milk,” he said, clutching his cup to his chest.
“With pancakes and syrup?” Terry questioned. “That is a lot of sugar.”
“I want chocolate milk!” Nicky insisted.
“Okay, okay, sure…” Terry sighed, holding out his hand for Nicky to take. Nicky snatched it up and got to his feet. The two of them made their way downstairs to the kitchen. Morgan had her back to the two of them as they came in, but she smiled at them over her shoulder.
Nicky climbed up onto one of the breakfast bar stools while Terry grabbed a cup for himself. Terry grabbed the chocolate milk out of the fridge along with the orange juice, pouring a cup of juice for himself and a cup of chocolate milk for Nicky. He screwed the lid onto Nicky’s cup before putting everything away, and he slid the cup across the counter toward Nicky.
“After that, you should probably just have water,” Terry said.
“Noooo…” Nicky whined. He jammed his cup in his mouth while he pouted.
“What’s going on—oh!” Morgan turned around, and her eyes fell on the sippy cup. “Where in the world did you get that, Nicholas?” she asked, turning back around to flip the pancakes in her skillet.
“Bought it…” Nick said. “Is it okay?” he asked.
“I don’t see why not,” Morgan said. She brought over plates for both boys. “As long as you clean it well, it should be okay.”
“I wash it…” Nick said.
“Can I see it?” Morgan asked. Nick handed it over, and Morgan unscrewed the lid. She took apart the stopper and bits of silicone in the lid to look it over, humming as she examined the lid. “After you’re done, I’ll clean it,” she said, reassembling the cup. “It’s not too bad, but I’d feel better knowing it was cleaned with some really hot water…”
“I didn’t know they come apart that much,” Terry said.
“Sippy cups are definitely hard to keep clean just because of how many pieces there are,” Morgan said. “I’ve cleaned plenty of them, though, so it shouldn’t be too bad.”
Nicky sheepishly picked his cup up and drank his milk. He didn’t want to make this harder on his mom…
“You okay, sweetie?” Morgan asked, brushing back Nicky’s hair.
“Yeah…” Nicky said. He sat his cup down and dragged his plate closer. “Sorry…”
“Why are you sorry?” Morgan asked.
“Cup’s dirty…” Nicky said.
“Cups get dirty, Nicholas, that’s okay,” Morgan said. “You don’t need to worry about it; I can show you how to clean it if you’d like?” Nicky nodded, so she kissed the top of his head. “When you two are done eating, I’ll have you help me, okay?”
“Okay, Mama…”
Morgan stepped away to get her own breakfast, so Terry reached over to take Nicky’s hand. He squeezed his palm, and Nicky looked over at him with a shy smile.
“You’re okay, Nicky,” he said. “She wants to help. She’s your mom.”
Nicky nodded. He just needed to learn how to clean his cup so that he didn’t make things harder on his mom. Then everything would be okay.