Chapter Text
When Xue Yang woke up Xiao Xingchens was asleep with his head resting on the bed. Xue Yang stared at him for a few minutes. He took note of how even his breathing was. How much more gentle his face looked, as if it could look any more gentle than it was. He also took note of how peaceful he looked despite being right next to Xue Yang. It made Xue Yangs stomach feel weird. He couldn't quite figure it out. Perhaps he'd gotten sick from spending too much time around Song Lan.
Xue Yang put the blanket around Xiao Xingchens shoulders before deciding to put him on the bed. He carefully picked him up and set him on the bed. Once he set him down he stared at him in confusion. Why did he do that? What compelled him to do such a thing? He wasn't sure himself.
He walked over to the window and took a peek outside to see that the sun had barely risen. The array wouldn't let him out for approximately another hour, unless Xiao Xingchen woke up before then, so he decided he was going to come up with a new hobby to bide his time. The only issue is, he didn't know what.
He could start a fire and burn the house down, he had the materials, but then the life he'd grown to like would burn with it. On the other hand he could get out of this crappy situation. Ultimately he decided against it.
He started carving into the wood with his nails. After about forty five minutes of this Xiao Xingchen started to move. Xue Yang watched him, taking a break from the giant gouge he'd made in the floor. He'd fix that later.
Xiao Xingchen yawned, stretched, then slowly starred to sit up. He than seemed to have a distressed look on his face as he sat up quickly. He looked both panicked and confused. Almost as if he'd forgotten where he was and why he was there.
Without thinking Xue Yang went over to him and gently grabbed his arm as he usually would've done in a situation similar to this prior to yesterday.
"Daozhang, are you alright?" Xue Yang was taken aback by his own voice. He sounded worried. Since when could he genuinely sound worried when it wasn't a life or death situation.
Xiao Xingchen relaxed a little before pulling his arm away. He then briskly got up and left leave Xue Yang confused and stunned for a few moments. Then it clicked, Xiao Xingchen had finally processed everything that happened yesterday and decided he didn't want to spend any unnecessary time around Xue Yang. He probably also remembered his undying love for Song Lan. Xue Yang found it absolutely disgusting.
He wanted to go after Xiao Xingchen and demand an explanation but he'd seem like a female trying to get back her ex who cheated on her. And Xue Yang was not that person. Plus, he already knew this was going to happen. He just didn't expect it to be so soon.
He decided to wait the fifteen minutes before heading out. When he did he was greeted by the sight of breakfast on the table and three people sitting at it eating. He casually walked over and took his spot. He then began to eat. Breakfast was silent save for the sound of their chopsticks and bowls.
After breakfast Xue Yang was in charge of getting produce so he and Xiao Xingchen went down to the market in an extremely uncomfortable silence. Xue Yang hated it. It wasn't necessarily the fact that it was silent, but rather that it was so awkwardly uncomfortable.
They made it to the market and only discussed the foods they'd be getting. Xue Yang However did buy Xiao Xingchen a pillow and blanket which he figured he'd just throw at him later, and he bought A-Qing a fox neclace to match her hair pin. He was really starting to question the things he was doing. Next he'd probably be picking out random things for Song Lan too.
On the way back Xiao Xingchen finally decided to speak. "Is there a reason I ended up in your bed?"
Xue Yang couldn't help but laugh. "Daozhang, is that the reason you've been avoiding me all day?"
Xiao Xingchen didn't answer.
"You looked uncomfortable, so I moved you somewhere more comfortable. We didn't sleep together if that's what you're worried about." Xue Yang only meant it as in sleeping in the same bed but Xiao Xingchens face started turning red.
Xue Yang wondered if he was thinking about him or Song Lan. It was probably the latter, after all, they were supposed to be cultivation partners before Xue Yang massacred Baixue Temple.
"That's not- I- Whenever I wake up in a new place, if I'm not in the same spot I was in when I fell asleep, I panic." When Xiao Xingchen said that Xue Yang breathed out a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding. "Doesn't matter now though. It's a one-time thing."
They neared the house and as they did Xiao Xingchen went quiet again. Xue Yang found this strange but didn't feel like prodding. Prodding lead to emotions, and Xue Yang can't do that. So, he let it be.
The rest of the day passed with Xue Yang occasionally arguing with Song Lan, A-Qing trying to convince Xiao Xingchen to throw Xue Yang out, and Song Lan and A-Qing giving him strange looks. Xiao Xingchen barely said a word more than necessary to him.
When Xue Yang gave him the blanket and pillow, Xiao Xingchen did manage to say 'thank you' but that was it.
The next morning when Xiao Xingchen woke up he didn't panic but he still ignored Xue Yang. The rest of the day passed in roughly the same manner as the day prior except A-Qing and Xiao Xingchen went out today. The next almost two weeks were the same as well.
Xue Yang did manage to get a lot of thinking done during this time, and he decided on one thing. He was envious of Song Lan for being Xiao Xingchen cultivation partner, even if it was brief. He just didn't know how to handle this realization especially since he now had to share a room with Xiao Xingchen. He hoped that this envy only ran as deep as lust and not some other emotion he'd have to try to figure out.
It already took him two years to understand happy, and not 'I just killed my enemies' happy, but contentment. At least he'd already been handling this 'lust' for about a year. It's just that in these last few weeks he'd come to notice it more.
Near the end of the second week Song Lan had to go take a trip to the market on his own for the first time. Xue Yang was glad to finally have him out of the house. Only issue is no one in the house would actually talk to him. Every time he tried to talk to Xiao Xingchen, he'd get a bland response followed by a half-assed excuse as to why Xiao Xingchen couldn't talk.
After a couple hours, Song Lan came back with the food. He looked a bit strange but Xue Yang ignored it figuring that he never actually got a good look at him until now. He set the basket with food down and went outside. With a couple vegetables to wash them. When he came back he smiled at Xue Yang, who returned the look with a glare.
Song Lan continued to smile which started to piss Xue Yang off. "Why are you looking at me like that? It's fucking weird." His fave was more expressionistic than Xue Yang thought it could be. Did he hit his head? This smile looked familiar.
"We live together, I'm not allowed to smile at you?" He really did look strange. Even stranger, an argument hadn't started yet.
"I didn't say that, but it really is fucking weird." Xue Yang narrowed his eyes. What the actual fuck was wrong with Song Lan?
Xue Yang decided he was going to find Xiao Xingchen and ask him. Maybe they finally made up and that's why he was in such a good mood.
"Then I'm going to keep doing it."
"Okay, you do that. I'm going to go take a walk around the yard to clear my head." Xue Yang turned to leave.
"Around the yard? Why not a longer walk?" Was this guy trying to rub Xue Yangs situation in? Or perhaps he has a horrible memory.
Xue Yang glared at him. "You know why." With that he went outside looking for Xiao Xingchen.
He found him behind the house tending to their small garden while humming a tune. It was a beautiful sight that Xue Yang wished he could look at all day. He approached him from behind and waited for a minute. Xiao Xingchen obviously hadn't noticed him so he made himself known. "Daozhang?"
No response.
"Daozhang?" His voice was a little louder now.
Still nothing.
"Bright moon and gentle breeze?" Xue Yang tried but to no avail.
"Xiao Xingchen are you trying to ignore me!" His voice shook a bit. He wasn't expecting that, but at least it got Xiao Xingchen to acknowledge him.
"What?" His voice was cold.
"Look, I understand why you're avoiding me, I think, but please listen." Xue Yangs voice was urgent.
Xiao Xingchen inclined his head for him to continue.
"Now hear me out. I know you have zero reason to trust me-"
Xiao Xingchen cut him off, "I trust you, but it's the fact that I do that scares me."
"Okay well, Song Lan is acting strange. I know to you this will sound like a good thing but, he's been smiling at me and moving around a little more cheerful. Did you have something to do with that?"
Xiao Xingchen shook his head. "No..? Nothing's changed. But it's good that he's making an effort."
"See that's the thing Daozhang, his smile is off-putting. It reminds me of someone else, and not to mention he looks different too."
Xiao Xingchen seemed to contemplate things for a minute before standing up. "Wait here and I'll go talk to him."
"But Daozhang-"
Cut off, again. "Xue Yang, please." And with that he left Xue Yang there, speechless. Xiao Xingchen really had a habit of cutting Xue Yangs sentences short.
"So much for that idea," he muttered.
He sat down on a log nearby and started drawing in the dirt. He ended up drawing Xiao Xingchen on accident. It was a good drawing, in his open, but it made him feel weird. So he got rid of it.
Xiao Xingchen came back out a while later. "He seems fine."
"Daozhang, I mean as little offense as possible, but you're easy to deceive. He looks off. I can't pin what it is, but his smile is too familiar and somethings wrong with his face. He also seems to have forgotten I can't leave the property without you or him accompanying me."
Xiao Xingchen seemed to think again. "I'll pay more attention around him but there's really not much I can do."
Fucking hell. This wasn't getting anywhere. Unfortunately this was the closest option Xue Yang had to actually getting someone to notice but it had to be fucking Xiao Xingchen. He wanted to stab someone right now. He won't, mostly because he can't, but he wants to.
He went back inside and decided, he didn't care what Song Lan thought, he was going to sit down and watch him until he figured it out. Song Lan didn't care, that confused Xue Yang more.
Then it clicked, his eyes were different. They weren't Xiao Xingchens calm dark eyes, but rather like that opossum Jin Guangyao's with their golden tint and hidden maliciousness. Xue Yang had to figure out what was going on.
He let things play out for a couple days buy the only thing that changed was 'Song Lan' becoming nicer and nicer to Xue Yang and flirting more with Xiao Xingchen. Xue Yang started drawing the Song Lan he remembered and compared it with the Song Lan of now.
Now all he had to do was figure put how to to get Xiao Xingchen to believe him. This 'Song Lan' was definitely someone from the Jin Clan.
That night he waited patiently in his room for Xiao Xingchen to come in. He didn't have to wait long. He heard the door open. He quickly pretended to be asleep.
Xiao Xingchen carefully stripped to his inner robes, folding his outer robes neatly and setting them on the floor. He then turned in the direction of his makeshift bed, on the floor near Xue Yangs, and went over to it sitting down. He then turned in Xue Yangs direction.
"Why are things so complicated with you?"
Xue Yang went to respond but Xiao Xingchen kept talking struggling to come up with words. "I want to hate you, after everything you did, but you haven't changed from when you were pretending to be my friend. I can't bring myself to hate you. I can only blame myself for everything that went wrong. I should've known it was you sooner. You're voice and manner of speaking was familiar, and I knew you were missing a finger. And before that, I let you stay without asking questions. Now, I know and I'm still letting you stay. I can't help but like you, but my brain wants to hate you. I hope you'll forgive me for my coldness." With that Xiao Xingchen turned around and layed down. His words sounded like a crappy poem that didn't even rhyme.
Xue Yang probably wasn't meant to hear any of that to begin with but it pulled on something in him. He decided to respond. "I wasn't pretending to be your friend Daozhang. If I could ever figure out how to forgive, I'd forgive you first, and you alone." He was too tired to think properly and wasn't thinking before he spoke. He barely registered was was coming out of his mouth as he spoke. And he probably would've if it wasn't for Xiao Xingchens reaction.
Xiao Xingchens head shot up in surprise. "You're awake?" His voice sounded panicked.
"Yeah.. but don't worry Daozhang, we both said embarrassing things. I'm glad you don't actually hate me though. Can we continue this conversation in the morning? I'm tired." Xue Yang yawned and he made sure it was audible. He couldn't fall asleep just yet though.
Xiao Xingchen nodded too embarrassed to say anything. He then layed back down.
Xue Yang waited about an hour to check if he was asleep, once he was certain he was, he git to work. Luckily for him, Demonic Cultivation was able to go undetected by Xiao Xingchens array.
_______________________________
The next morning Xue Yang was woken up by a distressed Xiao Xingchen.
"XUE YANG WHAT DID YOU DO?" Xiao Xingchen was mostly distressed. He immediately grabbed Xue Yangs face examining it. "Where did the eyes come from? Who did you take it from?"
Xue Yang stared at Xiao Xingchen still trying to process what was going on. Xiao Xingchen was giving him an expectant look, waiting for an explanation.
"Me, myself and I is where those eyes came from. Relax Daozhang. I needed to find a way to prove to you that Song Lan seems different. I think that rat Jin Guangyao sent a clone or something. Wouldn't surprise me if he mixed mine and The Yiling Patriarchs work to come up with something. I took out my left eye, cut it in half and forged two new eyes from them using demonic cultivation, I then proceeded to form them as your old eyes once were. I did the same for myself. Now I can present you with my evidence."
"Hold on. You dug your eyes out, cut them in half, re-sculpted them, and gave them to me?" Xiao Xingchens expression was a cross between, confusion, gratitude, and frustration.
"Yes."
"And all this to prove a point to me?"
"Technically, yes," Xue Yang said flatly. Xiao Xingchen looked dumbfounded. "So as I was saying, I have some proof, but first we're going to see how well your memory is." Xue Yang reached under his pillow and pulled out three pieces of paper.
At that moment someone knocked on the door. "Xiao Xingchen-Daozhang, is everything alright?" It was 'Song Lan' inquiring if Xiao Xingchen was okay.
"See, Daozhang this is what I'm talking about. He's never that formal," Xue Yang whispered to Xiao Xingchen.
Xiao Xingchen considerd his words before relaxing a little bit. "We're fine. Xue Yang just set me in his bed after he woke up and got ready. It startled me." Who knew Xiao Xingchen would lie like that to his precious Song Lan.
"Alright Xiao Xingchen-Daozhang. Holler if you need anything. I'm making breakfast." Xue Yang could hear his footsteps leaving the door.
"Explain!" Xiao Xingchen gestured to the papers Xue Yang was holding.
"This is Song Lan, correct?" He held up a picture he drew of Song Lan when he first started living there.
"Mn, It is." Xiao Xingchen looked confused.
''And this is also Song Lan, yes?" He held up the picture of current 'Song Lan'.
Xiao Xingchen nodded. "Yes. Your point?"
Xue Yang handed the pictures to Xiao Xingchen. "Tell me which one looks more like Song Lan."
Xiao Xingchen took them and studied them for a minute. "This one, the other one has a slightlyoff face shape and the eyes are wrong. They don'tlook like mine or his," he said holding out the first one Xue Yang showed him.
"See, that's what I thought too, but apparently the one that doesn't look like him is him." Xue Yang put away the first picture and held up another one. "This however, does look similar to the picture you're holding." He held up a picture of Jin Guangshan.
Xue Yang studied the two. "What are your saying?"
"I think Jin Guangyao took Song Lan to Lanling. I think Jin Guangyao forced one of his half brothers to use demonic cultivation to assume Song Lans form and sent him here."
"Why would he do that?" Xiao Xingchen wondered.
"Because he probably found out I didn't die when he wanted me to. So now he's got someone watching me." This was his best guess though not it made him worried about what Jin Guangyao would do in the future.
"How are you going to prove this?"
"If he used the method I think he did, I just need to undo it while he's sleeping. Or take a risk and stab him. Personally I find that more efficient." He chuckled. "Either way, he can't know we're onto him, so we'll only be able to discuss at nights."
"Can you do the ritual thing tonight?" Xiao Xingchen was uneasy with the possible situation they found themselves in.
"Yes, if that's what you want."
"Well you didn't really ask what I wanted when you gave me eyes." He tried smiling though it didn't really last.
"We'll do that then." Xue Yang stood up and started to leave.
"Xue Yang." Xue Yang turned towards him. "If this is an impostor, how are you planning on getting Song Lan back?"
"I've been meaning to get revenge on Jin Guangyao, so I'll just kill two birds with one stone. I'll even let you come if you want." Xue Yang smiled.
Xiao Xingchen nodded. Xue Yang threw him a blindfold.
"This one's lighter so you can see through it."
"What about- Nevermind." Xiao Xingchen tied the blindfold and left shortly after Xue Yang did.
The day passed relatively the same as the others. Xiao Xingchen pulled Xue Yang aside towards the end of the day under the pretense of 'discussing his punishment'. They took a walk down to the stream in silence.
After they settled on some logs they'd set-up a year ago Xiao Xingchen spoke. "The more time I spent with him the more I realized you're right. I'm sorry for doubting you."
"Don't worry Daozhang, I'm used to it." This wasn't going to be another conversation where Xiao Xingchen tries to express his emotions.
"I guess I'm just used to not trusting you and since Song Lan came here, I've gone back to seeing you how the world sees you, not how you are."
Xue Yang pulled off his blindfold and looked him in the eyes. "Daozhang, seriously, don't worry about it. I know you like and trust me." He half regretted pulling the blindfold away from his eyes because now he couldn't look away. He'd never noticed how beautiful Xiao Xingchens eyes were. Xiao Xingchen was looking directly back at his.
He couldn't help but think they made his face more beautiful. He wanted to touch Xiao Xingchens face and see if it felt as smooth as it looked. So he did, and Xiao Xingchen didn't stop him. He kept his hand there as he continued to look at Xiao Xingchen.
Xiao Xingchens cheeks dusted a light pink. To Xue Yang this made him look annoyingly more beautiful. He decided to rub his thumb across the color on Xiao Xingchens cheeks. Xiao Xingchen still didn't stop him, he seemed to be in as much if a daze as Xue Yang was. This caused Xue Yang to remember how envious he was of Song Lan for briefly being Xiao Xingchens cultivation partner. He wouldn't mind being called a cut-sleeve, being called names didn't bother him, so these types of thoughts never made him feel weird.
Then another thought crossed his mind: 'Why can't I be? He hasn't pushed me away yet.' And so Xue Yang moved closer to Xiao Xingchen just to see what he would do. To Xue Yangs surprise, Xiao Xingchen pulled Xue Yang flush to his body. Xue Yang didn't hesitate after that, he pulled Xiao Xingchens face down to his and kissed him. He wasn't sure why he did this, but he did and he didn't hate it.
Xiao Xingchen was stunned for a minute before he leaned into the kiss. Xue Yang found this rather pleasant. He never thought that in a million years that he'd kiss Xiao Xingchen and find it pleasant. He pulled away and was met with a sound of disappointment from Xiao Xingchen. His eyes widened a little at that
"Daozhang-" Xiao Xingchen cut him off by pressing their lips together. Xue Yang accepted this without complaint. This time however, he wasn't as content. He wanted more. He started suck on Xiao Xingchens lower lip. Xiao Xingchen made a small sound in his throat making Xue Yang want to hear more. He continued this for a bit before moving his tongue to be between Xiao Xingchens lips as he tried forcing it in. He didn't havev to try very hard because Xiao Xingchen opened his mouth almost instantly for him.
Xue Yang explored the inside of Xiao Xingchens mouth for a while before Xiao Xingchen started sucking on his tongue. It was Xue Yangs turn to make sounds of pleasure which were muffled by the kiss. He tried pressing himself closer to Xiao Xingchen. His face flushed red when he felt a growing erection on Xiao Xingchen. He pushed them down to the ground and got on top of him. He clumsily undid Xiao Xingchens sash and pulled his robes down to his waist.
Xiao Xingchen shuddered, his face was flushed entirely red. Xue Yang started kissing down his jawline. He started sucking on his earlobe. Xiao Xingchen let out a moan.
"Tell me when to stop Daozhang, okay?" Xiao Xingchen nodded in response. Xue Yang kissed down his neck sucking and biting in some areas. He eventually made it down to Xiao Xingchens chest. He sucked on his nipple for a bit using his teeth as he pleased. Both Xiao Xingchens nipples were hard and Xue Yang found it fun to play with them. Xiao Xingchen kept letting out moans as Xue Yang felt up his body and left trails of kisses down his chest to his stomach. He made it to Xiao Xingchens waistline and licked a line parallel to his waistband.
He decided that as much as he wanted this at the moment, he didn't want to accidentally force Xiao Xingchen into doing something he didn't want to. So instead he trapped Xiao Xingchens waist in his thighs as he went to kiss him again. This kiss was far more passionate than the last one. Once they were exhausted Xue Yang layed his head down on Xiao Xingchens chest.
"Did I ever tell you how beautiful I think you are? Thanks for not hating me Xiao Xingchen." Xue Yang smiled at him.
"Does this count as 'talking about it in the morning'?" Xiao Xingchen asked dazed.
"Yes."
"Can we discuss this after we get the Song Lan situation handled? I just don't want to be overwhelmed." Xiao Xingchen looked disheartened saying that.
Xue Yang understood What he meant. After all, Xue Yang probably wouldn't have a proper way of expressing himself. "Take as much time as you need Daozhang."
They stayed there for a while conversing in idle chatter before they decide to head back. Xiao Xingchen put the blindfold back on and got his clothes put on properly. They walked back hand in hand until the house came into view. Then they separated and went back to acting cold and distant.
The rest of the day was boring. Xue Yang spent most of it preparing himself for the ritual he was going to preform while 'Song Lan' slept. He made dinner and slipped some herbs in 'Song Lans' food to make him drowsy. And once he and A-Qing were asleep, he began.
It was strange having Xiao Xingchen help him with this type of cultivation. It made the process speed up so he wasn't complaining. Xue Yang finished drawing the talismans necessary for the ritual and set them up around the room.
He went over to 'Song Lan' and started. "Daozhang, can I have Jiangzai?"
Xiao Xingchen contemplated for a minute before handing it over. Xue Yang used it to cut his palm making a circle of blood around 'Song Lan'.
A breeze whiped through the room sending the talismans flying. The wind slowly turned red. Once everything calmed down the man on the bed was no longer Song Lan but rather a man who looked loosely like Jin Guangyao remained.
Xue Yang immediately tied him up and gagged him before he woke up. "We'll need him to find Song Lan. Now, I'm going to bed." He bandaged his hand as he walked back to his room. Xiao Xingchen followed. Xue Yang layed down.
"Daozhang, do you want to sleep in the bed too?" He wasn't sure why he was asking but he figured it had something to do with what happened earlier.
Xiao Xingchen said nothing but climbed into bed and layed down. "Thank you.. for the eyes..." after that he fell asleep. Xue Yang wrapped himself around him feeling content. He had no idea what these feelings meant but he didn't want to think too hard on it. He ended up falling asleep shortly after.