Chapter Text
You’re used to making a lot of mistakes in your life. It’s almost like second nature to you now. You normally make spontaneous decisions and deal with the consequences later. But you don’t want to do that with Joel. You know he’s a good man, despite the events of *that* night. You feel yourself pining for him over the next few days while you actively avoid him. You don’t want to contribute to anything that will make him feel bad or feel regret at. So you set yourself with a steely determination to give both of you space. You don’t trust yourself around him right now, so you find yourself coming up with any excuse you can to avoid the situation.
“Joel is heading over here later, we’re gonna order in some food and watch the cowboys game if you wanna join” your dad brings up happily.
“As much as I’d enjoy watching a bunch of beefy football players go at it, I’ve got plans already” you reply.
Your dad chuckles at your response before asking if you need a ride anywhere.
“No it’s fine, thank you though. Erm… he’s coming to pick me up” you trail off.
“And dare I ask who ‘he’ is?” Your dad asks sarcastically, shooting a grin at you.
“Just a guy I met when me and charlotte went out the other night” I say as vaguely as possible.
After deciding you needed space from Joel and also needed a distraction, you’d replied to the guy who asked for your number at the bar. You soon learnt his name was Andrew after an awkward text conversation where you had admitted you couldn’t actually remember his name. He took it in good nature though and was quickly asking if you wanted to go on a date with him. You’d agreed to it and had set a date and time for him to come pick you up.
You spend the late afternoon getting ready. Taking time to shower, moisturise and curl your hair. You select your favourite black dress that shows off your figure and are just finishing off the last touches to your make up when you hear a knock on the door. You pay it no attention as you glance at your phone and see you’ve still got 15 minutes before Andrew is due to pick you up. Grabbing your purse, you make your way down the stairs before coming to a stop. Joel is stood in the hallway, talking to your dad. Upon hearing you he looks over and you watch his eyes trail up your body before locking on to yours. His usually soft brown eyes are dark and glowering as he takes you in.
Your dad looks over in your direction too, smiling. “All ready for your date kid?” he asks in an upbeat tone.
You cringe internally but give him a tentative smile and nod.
“Where you off to?” Joel’s deep voice grumbles.
“Just out with a friend..” your voice trails off, not meeting his gaze.
He just hums in acknowledgment but you can still feel the burn of his eyes on your body. Before anyone says anything else, your phone buzzes once and you glance it.
“My ride is here, don’t wait up” you say, looking at your dad.
Your dad tells you to have fun before heading into the lounge. You’re left in the hallway with Joel and you can’t help anxiously shifting from foot to foot. You finally pick up the courage to look at him and clock the torn look on his face. You don’t say anything and go to walk past him and then you feel his fingers digging into your shoulder.
“Call me if you need anything” his low voice says to you.
Nodding at his words, you wiggle out of his grasp and make your way out the door before you can turn back and touch him.
You head out on your date and find yourself having a surprisingly good time. He takes you to a semi decent bar, lets you order whatever you want and trades stories as you both drink. You’re laughing at a stupid story he’s telling you about how he once fell into a lake trying to rescue a dog before the creature casually swam round him and climbed out like nothing had happened when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. You pull it out when Andrew goes back over to get you more drinks and glance at the screen.
You swallow when you see Joel’s name and read the message:
*having fun?*
You know you should ignore it but you’re slightly tipsy now and your impulse control is seriously lacking. Guess you’re a sucker for punishment. You message back.
*lots of fun, thanks for the concern*
He replies straight away.
*can I pick you up when you’re done?*
You roll your eyes, why can’t he just leave you alone. You’re trying to do the right thing for the first time in your life. You type back as casually as possible.
*don’t think my date would like that*
You watch Andrew start to make his way back over when your phone buzzes again.
*I don’t really give a fuck baby*
You stare wide eyed at his message and hastily tuck your phone back in your pocket. Trying to calm your racing heart and the heat pooling between your legs, you gratefully take the drink offered to you and take a large gulp. You pick up your conversation and enjoy the easy southern charm that he lays on thick for you. You’re silently cursing yourself because he’s funny, he’s easy to talk to and he’s so god damn handsome. But you can’t help your mind wondering to think about a man with scruffy, curly hair and molten eyes and calloused hands that make you weak in the knees. You clearly missed out on the good sense chip when you were born. Andrew excuses himself to go use the bathroom and swallowing the feeling of being a complete bitch for so many reasons, you reach for your phone. You text Joel the bar you’re at and it doesn’t take long before he’s messaging you back.
*be there in 10*
You drop your phone on to the table and finish off the dregs of your drink. You look up guiltily as Andrew makes his way back to you, a goofy smile on his face.
“You want another drink or we can go somewhere else” he says, soft eyes looking at you.
“Actually… I have a ride picking me up” you blurt out.
His eyes flash with confusion.
“Sorry.. did you not enjoy yourself? I thought we were having a good time” he says, a slight pout on his lips.
“No! I really had a great time” you say reaching out to touch his hand. “Just.. my dad wanted to make sure I got home safe” you stutter out, the lie making your cheeks heat.
Andrew looks at you curiously but lets it slide. You kind of wish he’d kicked up a fuss to make you feel better. He insists on waiting outside with you whilst you wait for your ride. You’re making small talk before you watch Joel’s truck pull into the car park. Telling Andrew your ride is here, he pulls you into a hug and leans in to whisper in your ear:
“I had a great time, maybe we can go out again sometime?”.
You give his arm a squeeze and tell him you’ll text him before making your way over to the truck and climbing in. You don’t really know what to expect considering how things were left between you and Joel. Neither of you say anything as he pulls out into the road and starts to drive back in the direction of your house. Alcohol making you brave, you’re the first one to break the silence.
“Why did you text me”.
“I don’t know”.
“Why did you ask to pick me up?”.
“I don’t know”’.
“Is there anything you do know?” I say sarcastically, my impatience is picking up.
He glanced over at me once before speaking:
“Don’t be a brat”.
You fix your gaze to the road ahead of you, not daring to say anything else.
Soon, you’re pulling into your street but you don’t pull into your driveway.
You glance over at Joel as he switches off the engine, his hands are gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles are taunt and white. You let the silence shroud you both whilst you fidget in your seat. After what seems forever, Joel looks over at you and he sighs softly.
“Do you want to come into my place?” He asks softly.
Not trusting yourself to speak, you nod and get out of the truck. He joins you and guides you into his house with his hand at the base of your back. You step inside as he flicks on a lamp that bathes the room in a soft glow. You anxiously stand there, fiddling with the hem of your dress as you watch him drop his keys onto a side table.
“You want a drink or anything” he grunts, moving past you.
“No I’m good thanks,. Joel.. what are we doing?” You ask, your voice small and confused.
He stands across from you with his arms crossed across his board chest and fixes you with a pained look.
“I don’t know what I’m doin’” he admits as he drags his hand through his hair.
You step towards him slowly, not wanting to spook him. He’s so tall compared to you, you have to stretch your neck up to look at him. Cautiously, you reach out and place your hand on his chest. He flinches slightly but doesn’t pull your hand off him. You let your hand rest there until he relaxes slightly. He looks down at you and his brown eyes are so dark that it’s almost hard to distinguish any of the warm shades that you’re used to seeing.
“I shouldn’ have brought you here” he whispers.
“Then why did you?”.
He pauses for a second, considering your words and letting a shaky breath leave his mouth before taking your hands in his. He leans down and presses his lips to yours. He’s warm and tentative and you can’t stop from lacing your hands around his neck to bring him closer. He groans into your lips as he backs you both towards his sofa. You feel your legs knock against it before he’s gently lowering you down so you’re spread out on your back. Not wanting to be apart from him, you grab his shirt and pull him down onto you.
He grunts at the motion but settles down on top of you, greedily taking your mouth back to his and running his large palms over your body. Joel takes the lead and presses you back into the sofa, dominating the kiss between the two of you. Your whole body tingles with the feel of him over you. He breaks apart for a moment, gazing into your eyes.
“Is this ok? Do you want me stop?” He asks, slightly out of breath.
You know if you say no that’ll he respect it but you don’t want to. “Please don’t stop” you beg.
He pauses for a second before tilting his head in acknowledgment before grabbing your ankles and tugging you down the sofa beneath him.
He returns to searing your exposed skin with wet kisses. His teeth graze along your neck and collar bone before lowering to your chest. His fingers trail up the inside of your thigh and you moan at the sensation. His fingers continue ghosting over your skin till they’re rubbing on the outside of your underwear and it’s his turn to groan when he feels how wet you are. You rock your hips against his fingers as you try to get some kind of relief. He tangles his fingers in your hair and tugs sharply which makes you arch and expose your neck more. He takes advantage and sucks softly at the skin there. You’re squirming under him as all of the sensations overwhelm you. Joel pulls back and you’re about to beg him to keep going before he’s pushing your dress further up your body. Your anxious mind momentarily panics about being so exposed to him but you don’t get time to dwell too long before he’s shuffling back slightly and his hot mouth is pressing soft kisses up your thighs. You tangle your fingers in his curly hair which drag a low moan from him. He continues his torturous pace up your body and it’s like he can sense your impatience because he slides his fingers into your underwear.
“I should leave you like this after the stunt you pulled the other night” his voice sounds muffled against your skin.
“I didn’t start it” you whine in response, trying to get him to move his fingers.
He chuckles at that and slides his fingers up through your wet heat, bumping over you clit in the process. The groan he gets in response has him humming in scarification. He’s got you right where he wants you and he knows it.
If your mind wasn’t clouded by pure sexual frustration, you’d probably hit him for his cockiness. Instead you’re begging him.
“Please Joel”.
“Tell me what you need baby” he drawls between pressing more kisses to the inside of your thighs.
You moan and grind against his fingers. Apparently that’s all the encouragement he needs because before you can beg more he’s shifting above you again. He takes your lips in his and kisses you fiercely before pushing two thick fingers into you. You moan into his mouth and arch your hips up to meet the thrust of his fingers. The noises you’re making must stir something in him because he picks up the pace. He moves them in and out hard and with pace, hitting the heal of his hand on your clit with every upstroke. You’re panting now and can feel that tight coil of pleasure low in your belly.
“Joel” you manage to gasp out.
“What is it baby? What do you need?” His voice is strained now and you take time to look him in the eyes. They’re dark as night and it only makes you clench.
“More” you manage to pant out.
Understanding the message, he adds a third finger whilst capturing your lips in his. Your breathing becomes more unsteady as he pushes you towards your orgasm. He continues kissing you like a man who will never get the chance again and between that and the pace his fingers are pushing up into you it makes you feel dizzy. He bends his long fingers inside you which sends a jolt through your body and you’re moaning so loud that you worry his neighbours are going to hear. You vaguely think how you’re going to be sore tomorrow at just this but you can’t find yourself caring. You want to remember the feeling. He continues pushing in and out until you feel your orgasm overwhelm you. You clamp down on his fingers and he slows down gradually, drawing the pleasure out of you. When you sink down, he pulls his fingers out and looks down at you. Looking intently at you he pushes his fingers into his mouth and moans softly. You feel your cheeks blush at the intimacy of it.
You lie there panting slightly before Joel pulls your dress down again.
“That was….” You let your words trail off.
Joel looks at you, that pained expression on his face again. He stands up and reaches his hand out so he pull you up. His hair is all ruffled from your fingers and he looks adorably out of sorts.
“I… I shouldn’t have done that” he says, taking a step back from you and looking at the floor.
You feel anger flood your body.
“Well it happened” you say, crossing your arms across your chest.
When he doesn’t meet your gaze you snatch up your purse and march to the door.
“Kid wait-“
“No. You don’t get to fuck with my head with whatever this” you angry growl, holding your hand up to him.
He stops his movement towards you and looks at you with something in his eyes. It’s not until you’re storming out his house with tears stinging your eyes that you pinpoint that look. It was regret.