Chapter Text
I don't hear anything after that slipping more into the dark confines, that is my mind, getting trapped in memory after memory, everytime I try to escape getting pushed into a new one by a demon off my past........
I open my eyes to a dark room, looking around, I feel the cold breeze washing over my body, what? A breeze? There's no windows in my room?, I sit up quickly, I feel my stomach turn as I see my surroundings
Oh no, I'm back here, this is a nightmare, the thin blanket covering my naked body rolls down around my thighs
I feel phantom feelings of hands over my body, gripping onto my thighs and around my waist, I move my hands to feel around my neck, I press on my skin, feeling the past bruises there
My stomach turning again at the memory off what happened for me to get them,
The door swings open, banging against the wall, leaving a mark that will never go away, two off Jyps personal guards walk in, the big, buff, bulky one is the one that done this to me, I try to remember that this isn't real, it's just a dream, it's just a dream, but I can't stop my body from automatically reacting, I move my back as close as I can to the side off the bed and curl up into a tight ball,
The bulky one slowly walks up to me, Wait I know him? I remember him, "Hannie, baby", he slowly smiles, oh I know who he is now, my hands start to tremble, "Hey, hey, baby, don't worry", he fakes sympathy, he quickly grabs my hands, taking hold off them, I gasp quietly
No no this can't be real, I know its a dream, I don't want to be back with him!
I look up at him with big eyes, my eyes quickly watering, it's a dream, its a dream, but it feels so real, like I am back there, 11, being manipulated by Choi Eun-ae,
He takes hold off my chin, I blink tears rolling down my cheek, he rubs the tears off my cheek, kissing them as he wipes them off,
I whimper, unable to stop myself, he kisses all over my face, "shhh, shh Hannie, I'm sorry for hurting you, I promise I'll be better"
I can't stop myself from nodding my head, I don't know why I'm doing everything I done this same night in the past, it's like I'm in my body but I don't have control off what I do or say, if I could actually speak.
More tears fall down my face, and I can't stop myself from tucking my head into Choi Eun-ae chest, my shoulders trembling from how hard I am crying, Choi Eun-ae wraps his arms around my bare waist bringing me closer to him, I feel like I'm trapped
He wraps his arms tighter around me, squeezing my bones tight together, I groan at the feeling, the air getting hit out off my lungs, he strokes my hair with his hand, putting his other hand around the back off my neck, I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling excess tears drop down my cheeks,
Choi Eun-ae wraps his arms around the back off my thighs, lifting me up onto his lap, I breathe heavily through my noise, putting my lips close to his ear, to try and get the courage to speak to him, I tremble in his hold , Eun-ae strokes the nape off my neck, "Hannie speak up, sweetie" he grips tighter onto my hair, pulling on it sharply, I gasp at the sharp pain, I quickly wet my lips, I whisper quietly, my voice breaking half my through, no no no don't talk to him!! Run away!, "E-eun-ae, who is the ma-man you came in w-with", Eun-ae laughs sharply, bitterly, I flinch up, finally trying to get off him, Eun-ae pulls my hair tighter, dragging my head up to look at him, I whimper at the feeling and the look on Eun-ae face, the dark, knowing look.
I scream inside my head, move!! Get up!
Eun-ae smirks, sickenly at me, and looks over at the guy in the room, Eun-ae waves his hand up, signalling for the guy to come over,
The guy slowly walks over and smiles at me,
Eun-ae speaks, "Hannie this is Kang Gunen, he's a friend off mine"
I nod, why aren't I running!!?
Tears roll down my cheek, Eun-ae grasps onto my cheeks, holding them between his hands, the man Gunen strokes my hair, I flinch at his touch but then Eun-ae squeezes my cheeks in warning, making him try to relax and sink into Gunen hand stroking my hair
Eun-ae lifts me up by my thighs, dropping me onto Gunen lap, Gunen wraps his hands around my waist, I squeeze my eyes shut trying to ignore the hands on me
I hear Gunen speak, "Hannie don't be scared ill be slow",
Eww I forgot how disgusting he was
Gunen lays me down, crawling on top off me, I start silently crying again, feeling Gunen touch my thighs
I gasp awake, tears rolling down my face even harder now, I whimper, gasping, trying to slow down my breathing, I can't, I can't breathe!! I gasp in sharp breaths, feeling panic wash over me, I feel nausea entering my stomach, making saliva pool in my mouth, I quickly stand up still hyperventilating, I stumble out of my room, putting my hand over my mouth to try and stop throwing up
I walk up the steep narrow stone steps, stumbling down the hallway to the bathroom in the east section off the palace, I gag, quickly falling down in front off the toilet, I throw up in the toilet bowl, I rest my head on the toilet seat but then my stomach starts to turn again and I gag and throw up, I dry heave into the toilet the only thing coming out is this white stickly goo from my stomach, I silently cry, my shoulders moving up and down,
I never want to relive that again, I had nearly forgot about Eun-ae and Gunen, I don't know were they are, or even if they're still alive, I only remember Eun-ae age from back then, he was 33 if I remember correctly, so he would be 41 now
I hear echoing footsteps from behind me, I flinch, turning my head to see Hyunjin walking up to me, he has a sad, sympathetic look on his face at the smell off my throw up and the tear tracks on my face.
But then he seems to wake up and he puts back on his persona, his face turns into disgust, I curl up tighter into a ball, wiping the tears off my eyelashes
"Ewww Jisung, can your stomach not handle one day of real food??!, what did you eat in the streets??"
I stand up on trembling legs, and flush the toilet, "leave me alone Hyunjin!" "I can't deal with you!!"
I try to walk past Hyunjin but he grabs onto my arm, tightening his hold on me, I try to break out of his hold but he doesn't let me go, "let go off me!!!", he looks worried for me, for a second he studies my face, but then his face turns back to normal, turning in disgust, and he pushes me against the wall
I cry out as my back hits the wall, my fight reflexes kicking in without even thinking about how I'm not supposed to be able to beat a member of the inner core
I quickly buck my knee up to hit in-between Hyunjin legs, he let's go off me crying out in pain, I quickly grab onto his shoulders pushing him against the wall, I get up close into Hyunjins face, I spit out, "don't fucking touch me again you ferret" Hyunjin looks at me with wide eyes, looking shocked, finally I've done something to shut that asshole up, I hear footsteps coming, so I push Hyunjins shoulders one more time and then walk away
I hear Hyunjin walking the other way, shit I shouldn't have done that, he better not tell anyone about this
I wrap my arms around my body, I still feel Eun-ae and Gunen hands all over me, I walk over to the lounge room, there's no point trying to go back to sleep, I'll just have another nightmare, I pick up one off the furry blankets in the corner off the room and curl up in one off the white triclinium (it's like a sofa) (the link is a picture off one)https://images.app.goo.gl/jp2WUmaCvm3cyXy16
I wrap the blanket around me, resting my head on my knees, closing my eyes, my eyes sting from how much I've cried, I stroke my hands over the soft blanket in a therapeutic motion, I hear someone walking in but I don't look up, slowly falling asleep.
When I wake up I am laying down, with the blanket wrapped around me, I slowly open my eyes rubbing them, and looking over to see who is in the the room with me, I hear quiet whispering between, two people, I squint my eyes trying to see who they are, Minho and Seungmin are quietly talking, holding pieces off paper, I yawn, sitting up.
Minho looks up at from what he is reading and smiles at me, I quickly look down, getting that feeling in my stomach again and I feel my cheeks get hot again,
Seungmin and Minho start talking again, looking like their going over the papers in there hands,
I hear Seungmin talking, "J.one has gone MIA, he hasn't done any crimes in 2 days and the last time he gone more than a day without doing one crime was when he wiped out the whole Marchetti clan"
Oh they're talking about me again, they're not even right I didn't kill all off them I had to bring the children and the wife off the leader to Jyp, I scoff inside my head
I curl up into a ball, I hear new people walk in I look up seeing Hyunjin, Changbin and Chaeryeong walk in, I narrow my eyes at Hyunjin.
Hyunjin avoids Eye contact with me looking nervous, he quickly walks over to Seungmin, curling up beside him, and hugging him, hyunjin kisses Seungmin cheeks and I faintly see Seungmin blush, kissing him back
Changbin walks over to minho, saying something but I can't catch what he says, Changbin and Chaeryeong then walks over to me and my heart drops thinking they know my real identity but they just walk over to sit beside me, after that Ryujin, yeji, Jeongyeon, Nayeon walk in, is this a meeting I didn't know about? They never asked me to leave so I assume it's fine for me too be here.
Nayeon walks over to me sitting at the other side off me from Changbin and Jeongyeon follows suit, the rest off the girls walk over and sit on a different seat, they all start talking and I turn round to Nayeon asking what is happening, she replies, "Chan and Jeongin are meeting with some foreign ambassador and is going to bring him here, I think he's from Florence or something", I whisper to her, "do I need to be here?" She nods, "Yes!! Off course you need to be here it's good for training and also people will see Jeongyeon new trainee",
I sigh, earning me a glare from Jeongyeon, I smile innocently at her, trying to do my best doe eyes,
I hear Changbin and Chaeryeong bickering playfully, I almost think I could get used to these people, but another side off me thinks how lonely I am, I wish I could have what they have but I have Yongbok, atleast I know him. no I need to get this mission finished quickly and get back to Yongbok, I'm worried about him
the door swings open a second later to reveal Chan and Jeongin, followed by
Eun-ae!? Oh no please he better not recognise me!