Chapter Text
The 'P' in Park Sunghoon stands for ‘paranoia’.
That‘s what Heeseung always tells Sunghoon, but Heeseung also isn‘t the one who almost tripped down the stairs and broke his neck first thing in the morning and then almost became a victim of hit and run on the short way (twenty meters across a four-lane-street) from the school dormitories to campus! Sunghoon is.
Okay, both were his fault. Kind of. Sunghoon was too busy trying to study for his English pop quiz (he can never remember the spelling for neccessarry… necessary? Neccesarry? Neecesary? Fuck, he's so going to fail the quiz) to watch where he was going, so he missed like three steps, and he accidentally jaywalked. But this is important for his survival, too! If Sunghoon messes up his perfect grades, then he messes up his full-ride scholarship to Decelis, then he messes up his immaculate standing with all of the teachers, and then he messes up his chances to get into a good college and work towards a nice future.
A nice, imaginary future that flashes behind his eyes once a day, as he almost dies yet again. Today, it was a truck. Yesterday, it was a flower pot falling from the school‘s third floor. Tomorrow, it could be too much cheese on his pizza slice. Sunghoon is never safe from death. It‘s horrible. It‘s tragic. Sunghoon will die before he ever gets to hold a boy's hand romantically.
“That is your biggest concern?” Wonyoung giggles behind a prettily raised hand in front of her pretty face over lunch. There is no need to pretend she has an image to keep in the student council's office. “That's so lame.”
“Excuse me?” Sunghoon complains, because it's not lame. He's a romantic! He wants to experience some romance before he dies. “Just because you aren't interested in dating doesn't mean everybody else feels like that, too.” Trust Sunghoon on this. Wonyoung does not care one bit about dating, he has tried. It was pathetic and fruitless. Sunghoon kind of wishes he would die from tripping down the stairs and being hit by a truck just to escape the embarrassment of remembering his attempts.
“Yeah, but, Sunghoon, you're a bit desperate,” Jake tells him ever so kindly and comforting. Why is this guy Sunghoon's best friend. Jake doesn't know anything, he's been dating Heeseung for three years now. “I bet you'd get a crush on the next new person that you meet, just to be delusional again.”
“Delusions are half of the fun of crushes!” Sunghoon argues his point, because they are. Crushes are funny because Sunghoon can delude himself into being happy, and isn't that just what he needs to distract himself from the fact that he's choking on a potato?
Wait, what –
“Sunghoon!”
—
“Student Park Sunghoon, please come to the secretary’s office immediately.”
Oh shit. Oh no. What did Sunghoon do now? He's in the middle of math class, he can't just leave. Jake's notes are incomprehensible and he explains new topics like a college student, which means that Sunghoon will not understand at all!
Not only that, but having him called to the office via the school speakers means that every student has heard it, and now all of his classmates are looking at him curiously, even turned their heads towards where he sits in the third row, and he has to walk across the entire classroom with eyes glued to his back because he has to be a main character and sit next to the windows. Oh God. Oh fuck. Why is he so bad with people looking at him when he literally has to give announcements and speeches in front of the entire student body in the auditorium once a week. This is his worst nightmare, right after dying alone.
So Sunghoon, as normal and quickly as possible, to not make himself look like a weirdo, makes a run for the hallway. Just be normal, it can't be that hard. Right? Right.
‘How did I become student council president.’
‘Dashing looks and awkward charm?’
‘None of these people even wrote my name right.’
This better have to do with his duties as a student council president. If they're calling him in to tell him he's lost his scholarship, or – God forbid - he's not even in the top 5 in the year anymore, he's going to cry so hard. Fuck dignity, Sunghoon has academic validation to seek.
—
Never fucking mind. Sunghoon has pretty boys to look at, and Jesus fucking Christ, is Park Jongseong pretty. Woah. Wow. Okay. Cool. Wow.
‘Jake was right,’ Sunghoon thinks as he stares at the boy in front of him, 'I'll crush on the next guy and get a little delusional.’ Jake would also totally understand why Sunghoon can't help it. Because Jongseong is about as handsome as he is also intimidating, and that says a lot. Sunghoon is easily thrown off his game, sure, but never intimidated.
But this Jongseong guy, he's intimidating all around. From glaring eyes, to sharp features and an everlasting frown. He's a bit shorter than Sunghoon, but he's carries himself with a hint of confidence and he’s also sleeveless, holy shit –
“He'll be your go-to-person for any questions about our school,” the secretary chirps and points at Sunghoon with a pleased smile. Right. She hates doing her job, that's why showing the transfer students around suddenly falls under Sunghoon's duties.
Transfer students like Park Jongseong, holy shit. Sunghoon needs to play this cool, or the first impression he makes on him – and the other transfer student who Sunghoon willingly pushes into the background of his vision – is that of an incompetent fool. He's calm and collected and competent. Sunghoon has the image of a student council president to maintain all year round, this is just part of his job. So what if Jongseong is super attractive and totally his type? Sunghoon is a professional (loser).
“I'm Sunghoon,” he introduces himself and holds the door open for the both of them as they leave the office. One quick, perceptive glance at the other boy's name tag in his fiddling hands tells him ‘Yang Jungwon’. How cute! What a cute name for a cute little boy. “How come you two are transferring in the middle of the semester?”
“Oh, eh, jobs and such,” Jungwon sputters, caught off guard by Sunghoon's question. Was it so unexpected for him to ask? It might be a sensitive topic, shit. Sunghoon should know better than to ask invasive questions. “It's a bit complicated.”
And that is Sunghoon's cue to stop talking about it.
“Well, either way, I hope you settle in just fine,” he laughs nervously. Great, he already sounds like a loser. This is so unlike him, Park Sunghoon, the most handsome student crush of boys and girls alike, to stutter like a fool, but of course he has to do it in front or Park Jongseong, who has done nothing but stare at Sunghoon for the entire time. Oh God, he needs to stop staring or Sunghoon will humiliate himself even further. “Uhm, let's go to the student council office to get your uniforms first.”
That was a bad call. Sunghoon completely forgot that he was drying his sports uniform in there. And his underwear.
“I'll clean up first!” Sunghoon yells and slams the door shut in their faces after he scrambles inside. This is embarrassing. Sure, the student council slacks off here and there. They're students, after all. But drying one's underwear in the office is a bit… weird. Sunghoon admits, he's weird. But he's got a good reason to do it, okay? His clothes were drying in his dorm’s living area but Heeseung decided to smoke weed and then, the smell clung to Sunghoon's clothes and he wanted to air them out! What kind of student council president smells of weed? None, that's what kind.
Scrambling and stumbling, Sunghoon drops his socks twice and curses under his breath as he quickly stuffs all of his clothes into his sports bag, scurrying around to also clean some of the paperwork and opened snacks lying around. Fuck. Why does the student council have to be so messy? Okay, nobody actually comes into the office without making an appointment first, but they could still try to keep a neat appearance.
Sunghoon kicks one of the neon green bean bags to the side and opens the wooden door with an almost crazed grin, “Okay, done!” Because, really. He doesn't want Jongseong to think of him as a slob. Or Jungwon. Jungwon should also think that Sunghoon is a reliable person who has his life together and isn't two seconds away from being in shambles. This is not just about Sunghoon's dumb and funny crush on Jongseong, this is about his appearance and image, okay? He'd like to keep that for everyone's sake, and also so people will forget that one time he got so jealous of a transfer student who was hitting on Wonyoung by flaunting his great English (the fucker was from the US, he better speak good English) that Sunghoon tried to impress her with his English skills and blurted “Hawaii you” into a suspiciously quiet dining hall. His dignity hasn't quite recovered from that yet, but neither Jungwon nor Jongseong know that. And they should never learn about it, but with Sunghoon‘s non-existent luck, Seungmin is going to expose him anyway, or Wonyoung herself. Menaces, the both of them.
“The student council does everything the school board is too lazy to do themselves,“ he explains when he opens the door to let them into the office. It used to be a small classroom but was turned into the student council‘s office when they kept using it as meeting room. “Like, distributing the uniforms for new students, club funds, planning the school events and competitions. Or the tutoring. If either of you have any subjects you have troubles with, you can always come to me and we can see who‘s free for you guys. If your uniform gets ripped or something, you can go to the sewing club.“
“You have a sewing club?“ Jungwon snorts and looks around. Ah. Perceptive little kid, good thing Sunghoon cleaned up.
“And a knitting club, and a crocheting club, and,“ Sunghoon cuts himself off, “actually, I think all of those were merged into the home eco club because the clubs didn‘t have enough members alone.“
“How long have you been president?“ Jungwon inquires further. Superficial questions to keep small talk going. Good. Sunghoon can‘t small talk to save his own life.
“About three years in a row now,“ Sunghoon likes to brag about it. Not only does it look good on his basically non-existent resume with no other accomplishments, but he‘s also been dedicated to his job. Before Sunghoon, the school was going down the shitter. Yeah. The school’s good reputation? Sunghoon did that. And God, did he work hard for it. The old student council were lazy bums who stole from the club funds and couldn‘t be bothered to organise any events or other things like a welcoming committee (fine, Sunghoon also didn‘t organise a welcoming committee, but that‘s because he knows this school inside out and would rather do it himself), so Sunghoon‘s first task as student council president was to choose other hardworking students he could depend on. His first two choices, Chan and Jake, were the perfect candidates because they were capable and goal-oriented, as well as model students (yes, even when Chan only made it because Jake introduced him to Sunghoon). Wonyoung volunteered, saying something about a women‘s quota on the team, and Seungmin basically blackmailed his way into the student council by collecting weird videos of Sunghoon while he was in the ice rink. Either way, Sunghoon‘s era better go down in the history of Decelis Academy. “I‘m usually the one who shows transfer students around.“
Frankly, they‘ve only had two transfer students in the last three years. But that‘s still two people who had to be shown around and guided into the boarding school lifestyle. And two people who took the spare school uniforms that Sunghoon usually orders in bulk. That‘s why, when he opens the closet where he stores the spare uniforms, he‘s met with an awkward lack of uniforms. Shit. He really though he had more on stock.
“Uh, that‘s… unfortunate,“ Jongseong comments. Sunghoon can see that! He‘s just an unfortunate soul, with no spare uniforms. Great. Now he looks completely unprepared for them, even though it‘s technically not his fault because he wasn‘t even told there would be new transfer students. Thanks a lot, Miss Secretary!
“That‘s okay,“ Sunghoon laughs awkwardly and closes the closet again to hide away his embarrassing failure, “I‘ll show you to your dorm, and then we can go to the city and get the right size in the shop. And a bunch of spares.“ Sunghoon likes to be prepared.
—
Sunghoon was not prepared for Jungwon and Jongseong to live in his shared dorm with Jake and Heeseung. That‘s why he coughs into his fist as Jongseong stares at the empty and messy cups of ramyeon on the sink after Sunghoon opens the door to the dorm. Fuck. Why does the first room have to be the octagon-shaped communal area anyway?
“My – Our roommates,“ Sunghoon stammers through a possible lie he could tell to save his face, “We‘re not very clean. Right now. It‘s mock exam week.“ Yes. Great. Now Sunghoon sounds like an idiot who can‘t balance his studies and chores. Husband material in its rarest form. Jungwon doesn‘t seem to mind at all, instead opting to drop the bag on his left shoulder on the floor with a quiet, cheerful ‘Let‘s go!‘. Jongseong meanwhile makes a beeline past the couches and dining area to the kitchenette and throws the cups into the overflowing trash. He scrunches his face with distaste, and Sunghoon wants to melt through the floor and disappear forever.
“Jay, stop embarrassing him!“ Jungwon scolds him and drags Jongseong – Jay? – away from the trashcan that he was about to empty out, “Sorry, he‘s a bit of a clean freak.“
“I – Too much trash attracts bugs!“ he argues weakly but lets himself be dragged back to Sunghoon at the main door anyway with a pale face, “At least let me make sure I don‘t shit myself when I have to use the kitchen.“
Okay. That‘s a little embarrassing. But also really cute.
‘Weird,‘ Sunghoon smiles to himself, ‘He doesn‘t look like the type to be scared of bugs.‘
“That‘s cool, I needed to do it anyway,“ Sunghoon waves lamely and looks around. Jake‘s room is the first door on his right, Heeseung‘s is the second door on the right. Between their rooms is their shared bathroom. Technically, the rooms are supposed to be occupied by two students anyway but Sunghoon used his student council privileges to get a single room for himself and his friends. Fine, maybe he does abuse his power a little.
Sunghoon‘s room is the second one on the right, which leaves the only empty room to be the first one on the right. Which means that Sunghoon has to share a bathroom and give up his ‘his own bathroom‘ privilege. Man, life is rough.
“Your room is this one,“ Sunghoon announces, like that was the plan all along and Sunghoon didn‘t have to use his great deduction skills to figure out which one is unoccupied. He opens the door and is immediately attacked by a wall of thick dust swirling up from the wind he creates, so naturally, he proceeds to aggressively cough his lungs out. Literal dust is out to kill him. Sunghoon can never catch a break from merely surviving his environment, or humiliating himself in front of the people he‘s deluded himself into having a crush on.
Thank God Jongseong doesn’t seem to mind, instead even going as far as patting Sunghoon‘s back in a sad attempt at comforting him. Oh God. He’s Sunghoon‘s life saver. Now Sunghoon has to date him.
“Are you okay?“ Jongseong mutters to him and continues to rub his back, “Are you allergic to dust or something?”
“No,” Sunghoon heaves and forces a nonchalant grin – as nonchalant as he can be while fighting death once again, “Just breathed in too much, I’ll live.” He will also cry himself to sleep tonight. Who on earth is loser enough to die from inhaling dust, right in front of their forty-five minutes long crush? The answer is simple; Sunghoon is.
“We so have to sweep the floor,“ Jay agrees and peers inside the room. It‘s not exactly the dream interior, only equipped with two twin beds pushed to opposite walls, two desks and two closets, as well as two wall shelves and a circular carpet that has definitely seen better, less dusty days. “After we got the uniforms.“
Thank God he doesn‘t seem to mind that Sunghoon doesn‘t clean unoccupied rooms that he never even sets foot into. The kitchen was already a bad impression, Jongseong does not need to think of Sunghoon as someone who never cleans. Just to prove it, Sunghoon kicks the door to his own room open, the two beds pushed together into one, the blanket on top neatly folded, and even his desk in pristine cleanliness. There‘s not even a pair of socks somewhere on the floor.
“This is my room,“ he tells them almost too eagerly, “If anything‘s bothering you, just walk in. I can‘t hear knocking most of the time.“ Because Sunghoon, for some reason unbeknown to himself, can only study when he listens to classical music blasting at full volume. Maybe even an opera. Either way, Jake and Heeseung always have to literally slap Sunghoon in the face to get his attention.
Technically, he knows he‘s setting himself up for humiliation. What if Jongseong wants to ask him something and just walks in while Sunghoon is changing into sweatpants? What if he catches Sunghoon in the middle of a nervous breakdown? All of those situations and more sound like problems for future Sunghoon, so he sticks to his words with a wide smile. Good job, Park Sunghoon. He‘s sure to regret it later on.
—
“You can call me Jay, by the way.”
Sunghoon almost breaks his neck from how fast he turns his head to Jay. He looks like an idiot, hands clinging desperately to the stacks upon stacks of differently sized uniforms he‘s trying to carry by himself, and his eyes opened wide (not that Jay looks any different with his own uniform thrown over his arms). Okay. Cool. They‘re on nickname basis already and they‘ve known each other for one afternoon.
‘I‘ll kiss him by the end of the week, holy shit.’
‘Can you not.’
‘No.’
‘What do you mean, no?’
‘I mean no, Sunghoon. Get a grip.’
‘This super hot guy just offered me to call him by his nickname, I’m gonna kiss him by the end of the week.’
‘Then at least say something. Before Jay‘s head explodes.’
‘His what will what.’
Jay’s head is not about to explode, but if his ears get any redder, he might turn into a living tomato – like, actually a living tomato. Sunghoon has never before seen someone turn this shade of bright red, and it’s slightly concerning.
“Uh,” he adds eloquently, “My friends call me Hoon sometimes. But only when they make fun of me.” Nice. Very good impression he’s making here, introducing himself as someone who is weird enough to be made fun of. What does ‘only’ even mean in this context. Sunghoon wants the ceiling to fall on his head. “Actually, please don’t call me that.”
“I – yeah,” Jay easily agrees and nods dumbfounded. Reasonable reaction, because what Sunghoon just said is pretty dumb. Why does having a crush mess with all of his braincells, how is Sunghoon supposed to get a boyfriend like this. “I’ll go try on the uniform.”
“Okay,” Sunghoon smiles because he doesn’t know what else to do with himself, “I’ll go pay for these in the meantime.”
Jay hurries out of sight into one of the changing cabins, and Sunghoon can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes him. Great. Cool. Nicknames. Today just keeps getting better and better – or worse. First, the stairs. Then the truck. Then the announcement in the middle of class, and then meeting Jungwon and Jay and humiliating himself as student council president because he was drying his socks in the office. Then the kitchen in the dorm he has to share with Jay. Now ‘Hoon’. Sunghoon pays for the spare uniforms in the hopes that the sheer sum of money the student council has to pay will distract him from his misery. He really has other things to focus on, even when he deliberately lets harmless crushes run through his mind because he doesn’t want to think about all of his responsibilities. Whatever.
No, not whatever. Where is Jungwon?
“Jungwon?” Sunghoon calls out as he stuffs the uniforms into a big paper bag (save the planet and all that stuff), and looks around for the boy who just seemingly disappeared into thin air. The top of his head doesn’t peek out from behind the shelves and he doesn’t respond to Sunghoon’s call. “Where did you go?” Which is kind of a stupid thing to ask, considering that Jungwon is nowhere to be seen or heard.
“I think he went to the restroom,” Jay tells him from behind the curtains of the changing cabins, only to be proven wrong when Jungwon calls out, “Please help me. I got stuck in the necktie.”
‘What.’
When Sunghoon carefully draws the curtains to Jungwon’s cabin back, he is met by the sight of him with his arms tangled and tied in the air, caught between the fabric of the striped necktie. How did he even manage to do this, not even Sunghoon struggled with a necktie this badly when he started middle school.
Group Chat: HeeJake+Thirdwheel
Sunghoon
Guys help
How do u untie a tie
Aussie boy
U loosen the knot
Sunghoon since when do u struggle with ties
Math failure
Unknot it
Deknot it
U know what I mean
Sunghoon
[1 image sent]
Its not me
Math failure
Oh damn
Looks like abstract performance art
Aussie boy
Performance art is always abstract
Actually nvm wtf happened here
And who is that -`д´-
Sunghoon
I have no idea
Jungwon just was like this when he came out the changing cabin
Jay is trying to help him
Nvm
He just got entangled too ㅠㅠ
Aussie boy
That doesn’t answer the question who these people are
Who tf is jay
Why are you dressing strangers in our school uniform??
Math failure
I know! Transfer students (´ з`)♡
Sunghoon
Ten points to heeseung
Now help us before I also get tied up and cant type
Math failure
Uuuuh kinky
Aussie boy
Transfer students??
Hoonie…
No.
Sunghoon
Too late
Jay is like rly fkn hot
Aussie boy
He looks more scary than hot to me
Math failure
Well
U arent into bondage that’s probably why ;)
Sunghoon
TMI
TMI EW
But yea mark me down as scared and horny
Aussie boy
WHAT did I say about crushing on the next person?!
Sunghoon
That its very likely to happen ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა
And u were right
Now help me untie this tie
Jahdd
Aussie boy
Sunghoon??
SUNGHOON??!
OMG NO
Math failure
Human pretzel pile :D
Aussie boy
NOT the time lee heeseung!
—
Once the sun sets and Sunghoon finally manages to detangle himself, Jay and Jungwon from the deathly knot of Jungwon’s necktie (it took way too long), he can take a proper look at how the uniform fits them. Read: he can ogle Jay in the uniform because, yeah, sure, sleeveless guys are hot, but Sunghoon is a bit of a weak man when it comes to modesty and suits. Holy fucking shit, Jay in a suit. His honey-tanned skin makes the white dress shirt look like it’s glowing, and even though Jay is not wearing the blazer, Sunghoon can stare at his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the forearms they don’t hide. After the somewhat loose pant legs got fitted to Jay’s legs, they now end just above his ankles, revealing a sliver of white socks. Is this what the people during the Victorian ages felt like? Sunghoon understands them fully.
“That was… something,” he huffs and tugs at his already loosened necktie. Sunghoon’s is also hanging loosely from his neck, because it wasn’t just something. Sunghoon is traumatised and can still feel the fabric of the necktie digging into his throat, cutting off his airways. That’s right. He almost suffocated from a school uniform. Today is just not his day. “Jungwon, are you okay?”
Jungwon looks far from okay. In fact, the poor boy is trembling as he tugs at the necktie that Sunghoon tried to tie around his neck as carefully as possible, and his hair is sticking out in every possible and every seemingly impossible direction. If it weren’t for those two things, Jungwon would look like a model student.
“I’m good,” Jungwon insists and smiles weakly with empty, wide eyes. It’s unsettling, and it triggers something akin to fear within Sunghoon. This is what a serial killer looks like. “Are we ready to go back?”
Sunghoon checks his paper bag one last time and decides, “Yea, let’s go back.”
—
Jungwon is still so out of it from being almost strangled to death (poor boy, near death experiences must be new to him) that Sunghoon decides to just show them around the next day, after all of them got settled in the dorm. They make a quick stop by the student council office to drop off the uniforms and to quickly introduce Jay and Jungwon to Seungmin who was working overtime, and then hurry over the street to the dormitories across where Jake and Heeseung greet them… warmly.
“Do I even want to know,” Jay deadpans and stares at them sprawled across the two couches in the living area, eleven cups of ramyeon scattered on the floor surrounding them.
“I won,” Jake declares completely out of breath and pumps his fist weakly in victory, “I ate six.”
Great. Wonderful first impression there, Jake. Totally not lame and uncool and weird, and why is he Sunghoon’s best friend if he can’t even help him romance a guy he just met? How on earth did Jake and Heeseung even start dating? Life is so unfair.
“Please tell me there is still food in the fridge,” Sunghoon complains and kicks his shoes off into the next corner, “At least eggs and kimchi.”
“There’s mint chocolate ice cream,” Heeseung offers not so helpfully, because none of them even like mint chocolate ice cream! Why do they have mint chocolate ice cream in their fridge? Only weird people like to eat ice cream that tastes like toothpaste for dinner. Oh God, Sunghoon doesn’t have anything to make dinner with and show off that he’s husband material except for mint chocolate ice cream.
“You could’ve warned us that the transfers are moving in with us,” Jake groans and miserably fails to sit up on the couch. Instead, he just flops back with another groan and a weak kick that lands nowhere.
“I assumed the bags and luggages were hint enough,” Sunghoon sighs and shakes his head. Never mind. Jake may be book smart but he’s rarely been able to prove it in real life. Like that one time he was convinced that with enough force, he could walk up a tree and ended up breaking his arm. So much to being the best student in physics.
“They weren’t,” Heeseung hums, and he actually manages to sit up and flash Jungwon and Jay a wide grin, “Welcome to hell!”
Jay gasps.
Jungwon straight up faints.
(Sunghoon has to make dinner with two eggs and half of a tomato, which, unfortunately, doesn’t impress Jay at all. It doesn’t help that Sunghoon burns a hole through the pan.)