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“Have you decided which restaurant you want to go to for your birthday yet?” 

A shaggy black head of hair shook, its owner not bothering to look up from his dinner plate. 

Ben, my soon-to-be sixteen-year-old son, had always been stubborn, but adolescence had made him even less communicative. Clearly, my insistence that he eat dinner at the table with his parents each night was torture. I tried again. 

“Would you like Lu to join us?” Lucinda Stynnix was Ben’s first serious girlfriend; too serious, in my opinion. I suspected Ben thought he was being sly, but the flush in their faces and the ramrod-straight way they had been sitting on opposite ends of the couch when I had gone down to the basement last weekend to do laundry fooled no one. I would need to remind Han that another abstinence talk was overdue. 

A shrug. “Do we have to have one this year? I’d rather just hang out with my friends.” 

I looked over to my husband for support, but Han wasn’t paying attention, pulling his phone out of his front shirt pocket despite our house rule about electronics at the dinner table. He glanced at the screen then turned it around to show me, like doing so would grant him absolution. 

“It’s Lando; I’m going to take this.” He didn’t wait for a response before standing and wandering out to the living room. Lando Calrissian was his former business partner from a venture that had ended shortly after we married, back before Han realized that he needed a more stable income if we were to have a family. 

It was odd to get a call from Lando at this hour. As he had back when he and Han were in business together, Lando lived in London; it had to be past midnight there. 

“May I be excused?” Ben’s plate was empty, and with Han jawing off with his old buddy in the other room, I didn’t have the energy to deal with his reticence on my own tonight. As soon as I nodded permission, he rose, dropping his dirty dishes in the kitchen sink before galloping up the stairs. Probably off to play that online game that I didn’t understand when he should be doing homework. 

I finished my meal in solitude before starting to clear the table. I was gathering the last of the drinkware when Han reappeared in the room. His eyes were red as if he had been crying.  

I was in front of him immediately, cradling his hands in mine. “What’s wrong? What happened?” 

Han took a deep, ragged breath. I could tell he was on the verge of breaking into tears. 

“Qi’ra is dead.” 

Qi’ra. Han’s ex. The one that got away. 

While they had already been separated for several years before I had met Han, I knew Qi’ra had been the one to break it off, and I had been wary of her when we dated. In those early years, I had always had the fear that Han would throw me over to return to her if she had asked. And now she was gone. 

“What happened?” 

“Hit by a car.” Han’s face crumpled, his eyes watering. “Just walking home from work.” He sniffed, pulling one hand away from mine to wipe his eye. “Lando called me from the hospital; he identified the body.”

Han pulled away entirely, burying his face in his hands. I pulled out a chair at the table and guided him to sit down. I sat down next to him, rubbing his back as he sobbed. 

“I need to look at flights,” he croaked when he had collected himself. 

“You’re going to the funeral?” Han notoriously avoided anything remotely death-adjacent. 

“I have to.” Han’s voice was painful to listen to; he sounded so utterly destroyed. 

I took a deep inhale, separating my feelings of disdain for the woman from those of my love for my husband.To have and to hold…

“Do you want me to go with you?” 

Han looked startled at the suggestion. He stared at me wide-eyed and vulnerable for a minute before lowering his eyes as if ashamed. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I felt my skin become hot. My husband wasn’t the sentimental sort; there was only one possible reason Han would go to a funeral and not want me there. 

I pulled my arms away from him slowly. “How long have you been sleeping with her?” 

Han shook his head, face still cast downward. “That’s not — that’s not what this is. We weren’t having an affair.” 

He looked up at me, face splotchy and eyes beseeching. “Leia, I swear —“ 

“Then why are you going to the funeral?” I crossed my arms, looking at him expectantly, anticipating one of his typical bullshit responses. 

Han sighed deeply, looking like another volley of tears was incoming. 

“It wasn’t an affair.” Han’s voice warbled, making it sound like that’s exactly what it was. “It was a one-time thing before you and I got married.”

I could feel my eyes narrowing subconsciously. “And you never had sex with her when we were married?”

Han winced, betraying the truth before he could speak. “Maybe a few times during our trial separation, but not since.” 

I felt myself growing angrier. We had briefly separated for several months three years ago as a prelude to a possible divorce. Han had begged me to take him back, and I had relented; he could be a scoundrel, but he was my scoundrel. 

And now I learn that he had run straight into Qi’ra’s arms, only to return to our home when she broke things off with him a second time. And what if she hadn’t? Would he still be shacked up with her in an English love pad, forsaking me, forsaking our son, forsaking our family? 

“And that’s why you have to go to her funeral?” I spat out spitefully. “To say goodbye to the great love of your life?”

Han shook his head pathetically. “No, not for her. For Rey.” 

“Rey?” 

Han nodded mournfully, another set of tears wetting his face. He reached out for my hand; I shook it off. 

“Leia, please." Despite what my son may think, I’m not a heartless bitch. When he tried again, I let him grasp it but kept my grip loose, refusing to offer him any active comfort. 

“After Qi’ra and I slept together, she had a baby.” I felt my gut turnover with a sense of foreboding. "My baby. My daughter, Rey.”

I was numb. I had been prepared to be devastated by confirmation of his infidelity, but not this. Never this. 

Above all else, the one thing I had held onto when comparing myself to Qi’ra was that I had born his child. I had given him a son. No matter what else she offered him, I had that. 

Apparently not. 

Han was staring at me, bracing for my castigation. I refused to give him what he expected. If I yelled, I would be a harpy attacking him after the death of his child’s mother and cede the moral high ground. I would transform from the victim to a fellow combatant, fair game for counterattacks. 

No, I would not give him that out. 

“Christ, Leia, say something.” Han’s pleas were desperate, but I was unmoved. 

I turned toward him slowly. “What do you want me to say, Han?” 

“I don’t know!” Han cried. “Something! Anything!”

Han liked to goad me into arguments, wanting to settle things immediately and move on. I wasn’t as impulsive as him, preferring to retreat until tensions had cooled, a habit born from a childhood of listening to my parents quarrel. 

He often accused me of being cold-hearted, misinterpreting my apparent composure for lack of caring, oblivious to the kindness I was bestowing him by holding my tongue. We both struck to wound when we fought, but I was better at it. Unrestrained, my blows could be fatal. 

“You’re emotional. You’ve just lost one of your oldest friends.” I patted his hand paternalistically and stood, eager to flee. “Go to London and do what you have to do. We’ll discuss what you did and the future of our marriage when you get back.” 

I doubted we would divorce. I had run through the options during our separation; it wasn’t worth it in my mind. At his core, Han had a good heart; I would rather forgive his transgressions and find a way to restore balance to our relationship than tear down the life we had fought so hard to create out of anger. Despite everything, I still loved the man. 

But I could let him sweat, feel some of that gut-churning pain that I felt. Have him learn what it’s like to fear he could lose everything, to feel the weight of the sword of Damocles hang over his head.

And besides, Qi’ra was dead. I had won. There was no risk of him leaving me now. I would get through this. We would get through this. Things would return to how they were before, but with me holding all the power. He would need to earn my forgiveness. He needed to seek atonement from me . 

“Leia, there’s more.” 

I felt a chill run down my spine. What else could there be? 

I turned slowly toward him. His face had become more serious and unabashed. 

“Leia, with Qi’ra gone, I have sole custody. I’m going to bring Rey back here with me.” 

My composure faltered. “Here? You mean live with us?” 

Han nodded firmly, and I felt my temper rising. “You want to bring your bastard child here, to raise alongside our son?”

Han looked pained but stayed silent while I seethed. How could he even suggest it? I had worked so hard to give Ben a childhood better than my own, one blessedly normal and free from family melodrama. Han’s desire to shelter Ben from the burdens of adulthood and protect him from the senseless brutality of the world was the thing I admired most about him. It had been our greatest shared purpose, our largest source of hesitancy before undertaking the separation. 

And now he wanted to disrupt that haven we had built, exposing our son to his perfidy.  

“You need to leave.” 

“Leia…”

“No.” If our snow-globe life was going to be destroyed, why did it have to be on his terms? “You can’t be here. Not right now.”

Han covered his mouth as he shuddered violently, a full-body paroxysm of a broken man.  

I pushed past my anger to take mercy on him. “I need time to think. I can’t do that, not with you in the house.” Han’s eyes were teary as they met mine, weakening my resolve. “Tomorrow. We can talk tomorrow.” I prayed that would be enough time for me to collect my thoughts.

Han’s lower lip trembled, but then he pressed it into a line with his upper lip before nodding slowly, defeated. 

He rose, knuckles whitening against the top of the chair as he pushed it under the table. He moved in silence, shoulders hunched and eyes focused on his feet, his fate accepted. I watched as he collected his car keys from the bowl in the foyer and slid into his boots. Only when his coat was on, and the front door was opened did he turn back to look back at me, eyes desperate. 

“She’s my daughter, Leia.” He shrugged. “I don’t have any other choice.” 

And that was the heart of it, wasn’t it? There were so many choices Han had made that led us here. 

And now it was my turn. The choices I made would determine our future. Did I finish what the trial period had started? Let him fly to London and greet him on return with changed locks and a stack of papers from my lawyer? 

Alternatively, could I allow him to bring another woman’s child into our home? Have a constant, physical reminder of his adultery underfoot? Play surrogate mother to the daughter of a woman I despised? 

And regardless of which decision I made, what in the world was I going to tell Ben? 

*****

I played out different scenarios in my head for hours, hating all of them. The only outcome that would allow our family to remain as it was now involved Han abandoning his daughter, which he would never do, and which I would never ask him to do. All other options split across two paths: Han leaving us to raise his daughter and Han bringing his daughter here. The thought of either was unbearable. 

I finally called Luke a few hours after midnight. A perpetual night owl, I knew he would be awake. I also knew he would have answered regardless, the one person in the world on whom I could always rely. 

“Han had an affair!” I wailed, bursting in to tears as soon as I heard the familiar voice of my brother. 

After cursing and pledging to commit homicide, Luke listened attentively as I shared the details of Han’s betrayal and how all my fears had come true. Luke was supportive, interjecting scoffs and sympathetic hums as I babbled. He waited until I had finished to voice his opinion. 

“I told you he would break your heart.” 

And he had. Luke had warned me about Han the first time they met, but I hadn’t listened, my eyes full of stars and butterflies in my belly.  

“And you’re wrong about having to raise Ben alone if you kick Han out. You won’t be alone: you have me. I can be there tomorrow if you want.”

There was that. It was comforting to know I could always return to the warm embrace of my brother. Han would throw a fit, the dislike mutual, but given his choices that put us in this situation, I was beyond caring about his opinion. 

“What should I do?” I curled my legs into my chest, pressing myself into a tight ball against the headboard. I wished my brother was there to wrap his arm around my shoulder, holding me tightly as he had when we were teenagers. 

Luke sighed. “Leia, we both know you’ve already made your decision. You chose Han long ago.” 

“That doesn’t mean I have to choose him now.” I wondered if he’d be able to hear my low whisper. 

“But you will. You always do.” 

My brother knew me better than I knew myself. Hearing him say it made me realize it was true.

“What about Ben? How do I tell him?” 

Luke snorted. “Make your husband do it. You shouldn’t have to clean up all his messes.” 

I bit my lip, considering his words and thinking on the detail that had been gnawing at me. 

“What about the girl?” I asked quietly. “What if… Luke, I’m so scared. What if we bring the girl here, and I can’t see past who her mother is? What if I hate her? Wouldn’t that make me a terrible person?”

I could feel the tenderness in his response in my bones. “Leia, the fact that you’re even worried about shows that you’re not terrible. And you’re not going to hate her: she’s you.” I stopped fidgeting with the edge of the comforter, stunned. 

“What do you mean?” I straightened my legs, feeling immediate relief in my low back; I was not as limber as I used to be. 

“A young girl who recently lost her mother moving in with a new family? Change the year to 1986, and it’s you.” I frowned; I hadn’t even considered the similarity. “Breha never judged us for who our parents were; she just saw us.” 

Luke’s words resonated, sparking something deep inside. We had gone to live with a distant aunt the year I turned twelve. Despite the cloud of scandal we arrived under, I had never felt anything but compassion and love from her. 

Perhaps that was my calling: to pay that kindness forward. I could refocus my anger into expanding the safe haven I had created for my own son to also shelter this lost girl. Recompense. 

“But what about Ben? He doesn’t know… he won’t understand.” 

“Eh.” I imagined Luke swatting his hand, dismissing my worries. “Maybe not, but he’ll be fine. Trust me, even if he doesn’t realize it right away, it’s good for a boy to have a sister.” 

Chapter Text

In hindsight, Ben Solo would recognize there had been signs in the morning that something was off. His mother had appeared at breakfast in a navy bathrobe, her flannel pajama set peeking out the edges. She hadn’t looked well, and when she declared she’d be taking a sick day, Ben had simply nodded and gone back to his cereal. 

He had likewise given little thought to his father’s absence. While Han typically joined the family for breakfast, he sometimes went in early when things were busy at the shop.

But Ben knew something wasn’t right when he rounded the corner to his street and saw his father’s truck in the driveway. It was entirely too early in the day for him to be home; Ben usually had the house to himself for a few hours each day after school.

He felt a prickling sensation deep in his gut as he approached the front door. It was like his body could sense a danger that his conscious mind had not yet detected. 

His mother was on the couch, scrolling on her phone. Now dressed for the day in a loose-knit sweater, she perked up when he entered, smiling softly as she greeted him. 

“Why’s Dad home?”

Leia pursed her lips. “Come sit down, honey.” She patted the space next to her before standing. “Your father will be down shortly — we need to have a chat.”

Ben’s heart plummeted into his stomach. His parents had asked him to join them in the living room for a chat only once before, back when he was thirteen, and they had told him his father would be moving out. Despite their subsequent reconciliation after a summer apart, Ben had anticipated the official divorce announcement ever since.

And now the time had come. His feet shuffled on their own to stand next to his mother, who gave him a quick squeeze before reminding him how much she loved him and assuring him things would be okay. When his father appeared a moment later, he pulled Ben into an uncharacteristically lengthy and tight embrace, only letting go when his wife said his name. 

Ben sunk down onto the sofa numbly, watching as his parents took their seats in the twin wingback chairs opposite the chesterfield, a barely united front. 

His father’s expression was pained; he looked like he hadn’t slept. Now in the presence of her husband, Ben could practically feel the anger wafting off his mother. 

That was different. Leia Organa was notoriously calm and collected. She had been incredibly matter-of-fact when previously disclosing their impending separation. 

“Ben, your father has some information he would like to share with you.” If there had been any doubt on who was at fault for their impending split, his mother’s phrasing would have removed it.  She looked over at his father expectantly. 

Han grimaced as if he were in physical pain. He delivered his words slowly and deliberately. “There have been times, in the past, when I have not been a faithful partner to your mother.” 

Ben glanced over at his mother, who was still glaring at his father. Obviously, she was already aware of the revelation, but her insistence on Ben knowing the reason for their divorce and making his father recite his transgressions was uncharacteristically vengeful. In the past, she had always kept the details of their marriage private, not sharing the particulars of their relationship difficulties with their son. 

“Her name was Qi’ra,” Han continued, regaining Ben’s attention. “We started dating back when I was your age. We were broken up before your mother and I started dating, but there were a few times—“ 

“He doesn’t need the details of your affair, Han,” his mother snapped. 

“Right.” His father sighed. He was wringing his hands, subconsciously rotating his wedding band. “She, uh, I mean we, have a daughter. Together.”

“I have a sister?” Han nodded, and Ben wondered if the child was a souvenir from his parents’ separation period when his father had left town. “Is that why you’re getting divorced? So you can go be with your new kid?”

“Oh, Benny,” his mother whispered, her expression softening.

“We’re not getting divorced.” Han’s voice was firm, but he glanced over to Leia for confirmation. 

Leia glared daggers back at him but slowly bit out a terse reply. “For now.”

“Then why tell me now? Did you just find out?”  Ben was speculating wildly, trying to make sense of things as his world tilted sideways. 

Han twisted his face in shame. “I’ve known…for a while.” 

Ben narrowed his eyes. “How long? How long have you known?”

His father sighed, collapsing against the chair back. He looked exhausted. “Since Qi’ra was pregnant.” 

Ben spun to face Leia. “Mom, did you know?”

She lifted an eyebrow. “That your father was having an affair with that eccentric, bohemian ex of his? I suspected. That he had another child? No.”

“Qi’ra wasn’t a bohemian,” defended Han wearily. “She was unconventional.”

Leia gave Han a dirty look, sending a warning that pushing back on her characterization of his mistress was not a wise course of action. 

Ben didn’t know how to respond to all this information. His father had an affair and another child?

“How did you find out?” He addressed his mother directly, not wanting to engage with his duplicitous father. He and his mother were clearly the victims here. 

Leia smiled wryly. “Your father confessed last night.”

Ben’s eyebrows shot up. “What? Why?” Why now?

Leia tilted her head towards Han, indicating that she expected him to be the one to answer. 

Han frowned. “Qi’ra died Monday. Hit by a car.” Ben noticed his father’s eyes were wet. “I have to take care of Rey; I’m her only parent now. I’m going to bring her here to live with us.” 

“With us? Here?” shrieked Ben, the information not computing. He gaped at his mother incredulously. “You’re going to let him bring another woman’s baby here ?” How could his mother even be considering this?

Leia pursed her lips. “As angry as I am with your father — and I am angry — the girl is innocent. I remember what it felt like when my mother died and how much it helped to be with family. And your father is her only family. I won’t punish her for the sins of her parents.”

This was too much to take in. His father bringing his lovechild to live with them, in their house, with his mother’s blessing? Was he dreaming? 

“Qi’ra was living in England,” Han broke in, taking advantage of Ben’s stunned silence. “I have to fly out tomorrow. Be there for the funeral.” His voice cracked. “Bring Rey back.”

“You’re going to fly with a baby — on an international flight — by yourself?” Ben’s mind grasped onto the absurd detail, welcoming the distraction it granted him from processing the full implications of the situation. 

“Rey’s not a baby,” Leia interjected before Han could answer. She smiled wickedly, turning towards her husband. “Why don’t you tell our son exactly how old his younger sister is? Let him work out how long into our marriage you waited before you decided monogamy was too challenging for you? How long you’ve kept this secret from our family.” 

Han squirmed uncomfortably, twisting his lips. “Your sister — Rey — will turn sixteen next month.”

*****

It was nearly two weeks before his father returned. Ben refused to speak with him on the phone, but his mother relayed his father’s numerous excuses for their delay. Apparently, dying abroad involved a lot of bureaucratic paperwork. 

It was for the best Han wasn’t there for his birthday; Ben wanted nothing to do with him after his revelations. His father could go to England and never come back as far as he was concerned. 

He still couldn’t believe his father had a daughter — a daughter almost the exact same age as Ben. It had always been a family joke that Ben was a honeymoon baby, born over a month ‘premature’ at a whopping 8.2lbs. For the girl to only be one month younger implied his father’s infidelities had begun near-simultaneously with his marriage. 

Sixteen. His father had another child, and she was a mere 32 days younger than him. 

Intellectually, he understood his mother’s desire to have mercy on the girl. He knew that she had also lost her mother at a young age. But he didn’t understand why she hadn’t kicked her husband out. Surely divorcing him and letting Han move to England — or Mars, Ben was indifferent —to raise his daughter would have still counted as being kind to the girl. How could she think it was a good idea for the girl to come here?

Whatever her reasons, Leia was not sharing them with Ben. She shut down every attempt he made to speak to her about his father’s treachery. Absent Han’s presence in the house, Leia had regained her composure and again demarcated discussions about her marriage as strictly off-limits. 

It wasn’t that he wanted his parents to divorce; he just had resigned himself to the possibility. He had missed his father the summer his parents had their trial separation, but he and his mother had managed. Living alone with his mother was definitely preferable to sharing a house with her, his cheating father, and a bastard half-sibling.

Yet here he was in the guest bedroom with his mother, conscripted into preparing it to transform into Rey’s room. Infrequently used, it had become a prettily-decorated storage space for things his parents didn’t want simply to discard but also didn’t want to deal with properly. Ben spent an entire Saturday afternoon helping his mother pack up old clothes for donation, sort through papers to be filed or shredded, and break down boxes for recycling. 

When they finished, the room felt impersonal and empty to Ben, but at least it was free of the detritus of their previous life. A life that no longer existed. 

Leia set her hands on her hips, surveying their work proudly. “You know, I had always hoped we’d get to put this room to real use. You weren’t meant to be an only child.” She looked at Ben, smiling wistfully. “It’s not the way I would have planned it, but despite everything else about this mess, I’m glad you’ll finally have a sibling.”

“Half-sibling.” Ben couldn’t fight the compulsion to correct her.

“There is nothing I wouldn’t have done to give you a baby sister when you were younger. You came along when we weren’t trying, but when we were, nothing.” She shrugged, unexpectedly peaceful. 

“Having Luke as a brother was the best part of my childhood.” She smiled fondly at the memory. “I always wanted you to be able to experience that special bond.” 

Ben snorted. Fat chance. 

*****

His traitorous father and his daughter were set to return for the airport just before dinner on Thursday evening. Leia had warned Ben they’d likely be exhausted from traveling and the time difference but promised him he could stay home the next day for some family bonding time. 

Ben would have preferred school. His mother had informed the administration of their situation, but the news had not yet trickled down to his peers. He wanted to enjoy a few more hours of normality before Rey enrolled Monday and infested every corner of his life. 

He had briefly considered telling his girlfriend about what was going on. He desperately wanted to talk to someone about his feelings on the matter, and it felt selfish to do with his mother, who had been injured more than he had. But he knew Lu was incapable of keeping secrets from her gossipy best friend, Kaydel. So he kept it inside, brushing Lu off when she commented on him being distracted. 

It was almost half-past six when Ben finally heard his father’s car putter into the driveway. He reluctantly trudged down the stairs to wait with his mother in the foyer. His father entered first, swinging luggage into the house like an overgrown bellhop. A willowy brunette followed, hair in a messy bun and a travel bag slung over her shoulder. Ben immediately saw the family resemblance.  

“This is my wife, Leia, and my son — your brother — Ben.” Han gestured quickly to each of them. 

The girl acknowledged them both with a nod, shifting her weight nervously. Eventually, she offered a meek smile and a shy wave. 

“Hi. I’m Rey.”

Chapter Text

Dinner the first night was a quick affair. Han regaled them with a summary of their journey, complete with complaints about the onboard food selection and traffic on the way home. He was suspiciously loquacious, almost like he wanted to preemptively fill the air with safe discussion topics and box out any potential unpleasantness. 

“What about you, Rey? Were you able to sleep at all on the flight?” Leia asked kindly. 

Rey shook her head. “No, I don’t do well on planes.” Ben noticed her voice had a British lilt.

“We hit turbulence about halfway in.” Han nudged Rey playfully. “Thought this one was going to blow chunks.”

“Dad!” squealed Rey,  rolling her eyes. Ben bristled at their comfortable familiarity. 

“Not while we’re eating, Han.” Leia lifted the ladle out of the tureen. “Rey, would you like more soup?”

“No, thank you, Mrs. Solo.”

“Organa,” Ben’s mother corrected automatically. “I kept my name.” She forced a smile. “But you can call me Leia.” 

Rey nodded. “My mum kept hers too.” Her eyes widened. “Not that she was married! Or thought about taking Dad’s name! I just mean I have her last name, not Dad’s.”

There was an awkward pause. Finally, Han placed his hand over Rey’s, squeezing it. 

“You can still have it if you want,” Han offered softly as Rey turned toward him. “I suggested it to your mother when you were born, but you know how she is. Was.”

“Stubborn,” Rey supplied, with Han nodding in agreement.

Leia must have felt just as uncomfortable as Ben at witnessing such an intimate familial moment in which they had no part. She stood and clapped her hands. 

“Well, you must be tired from the trip, Rey. Let’s go upstairs, and I’ll show you to your room.”

*****

Ben had intended to take full advantage of parent-sanctioned hooky and sleep in on Friday, but his mother had different plans. She woke him at eight, telling him that his father and Rey had already been up for several hours. Apparently, her intent to use the day to bond as a family had been sincere. 

After breakfast, his mother forced him to be present as she reviewed all the house rules for Rey, from not leaving until excused at mealtime to making beds properly each morning. 

“Curfew is eight on school nights, ten on the weekend,” Leia recited. “If you —“ 

“Eleven,” Ben interrupted. “You said curfew would push back to eleven when I turned sixteen.” 

Rey looked over at him warily, making deliberate eye contact with him for the first time. She looked significantly more alert and awake than she had the night before, her hair pulled back in a clean column of stacked buns. He returned the stare disdainfully until she turned away. 

“You’re right. I did say that.” Leia nodded slowly before continuing, either unaware of their brief exchange or choosing to ignore it. “Eleven on weekends. If you go out, you need to let us know who you’ll be going out with.” 

Ben tuned out the rest of his mother’s lecture prohibiting snacks between meals and the wearing of shoes in the house. He was mercifully given a break when Leia decided to show Rey around the house, explaining where they kept things like toilet paper and plastic bags. From his room, he heard them out in the hall, with Leia ending the tour by suggesting Rey take some time for herself to work on organizing her room and settling in. 

The reprieve only lasted until lunch, after which Leia suggested they play a board game. Ben couldn’t remember the last time he had played a game with his parents. It was something he had grown out of around the same time he had stopped wearing Batman pajamas.

“Ben, why don’t you show Rey around the basement, and you two can pick out a game for us all to play?” Leia suggested with overzealous cheer. 

“Fine.” Ben stomped over to the basement door, not bothering to check if Rey was following. He was already downstairs and staring disgustedly at the selection of games in the closet when she descended the stairs. 

“So… this is the basement, huh?” 

Both hands were in her pockets, and she offered a shy smile. Ben glared. 

“Wanna show me around?” she asked hopefully. 

Ben scowled, lifting his hand to point rapidly. “That’s the TV. There’s a bathroom behind the wet bar. That door leads to the laundry, and that one is a storage room.” He turned frontward. “And this is the game closet.”

Rey was silent and didn’t move. Finally, Ben broke down, looking over his shoulder. She looked concerned. 

He stepped back, waving his arm at the closet. “Choose something.”

Rey bit her lip, approaching the shelves. “What kind of games do you like?”

“I don’t.”

Rey bit her lip, shifting aside a dusty copy of Connect Four. “How about Monopoly?”

Ben scoffed. Rey jutted her chin and took a deep breath, placing it back on the shelf. She grabbed something small from a corner. “Uno?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Fine.” 

Rey sent him a look before closing the closet doors. He started toward the staircase. 

“Are you normally this much of an arsehole?” 

Rey’s sharp words halted him in his tracks. He turned around slowly to face her. “What did you say?”

Rey put a hand on her hip in a confrontational posture. “I asked if you are always this much of an arsehole? Or if I’m just a special case?”

“You think I’m an asshole?” Ben asked incredulously. “I’ve barely said five words to you.”

“Exactly!” Rey stomped her foot. “Since we’ve met, all you’ve done is ignore me or send me dirty looks. What did I do to you?”

“Are you kidding? You’re a product of my dad’s affair; did you really think I would want you here?”

Rey reared back. “And you think I want to be here? I didn’t ask for this either. A month ago I was living happily with my mum. Now she’s dead, and I’m an ocean away from everyone I know.” She huffed ruefully.  “Except, of course, for my father, who thought bringing me here to live with his family was a good idea.” 

Ben crossed his arms. “At least on that, we can agree. It was a stupid idea.”

Rey scrunched her face, staring at him intensely. She abruptly threw her arms wide as if in surrender. “So this is what it’s going to be? You are just going to be a jerk to me for the rest of our lives? You don’t want even to try to get along?” 

“Why should we? Neither of us asked for this. If your mom hadn’t died, we’d likely have gone our whole lives without knowing the other existed.”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “I’m not saying we have to be friends," she stressed. “But we live together now. We’ll be going to the same school. It would help if we at least tried to be pleasant with one another.” She shrugged. “After all, we are siblings.”

“No.” Ben was resolute. “We share a father. That doesn’t make us siblings.”

He snatched the card deck from her hand, storming up the stairs. 

*****

Ben had mostly avoided interacting with Rey for the remainder of the weekend. On Saturday, his mother had taken her to the doctor to get a physical for school and then out shopping for a few necessities. As far as Ben was aware, she spent the remainder of the weekend out with Han in the garage, keeping him company as he worked on his vintage Ford Falcon.

Monday was the beginning of the end, or perhaps, the end of the beginning. It started with Han driving them both to school to register Rey officially. Ben planned to disappear into the crowd as soon as they arrived, but his father insisted he come with them to the administration office. They were there early, but he still caught a few curious looks from students as they passed. Greenview had less than 300 students; Rey was immediately identified as an outsider. 

The principal, clearly not considering the possibility that they held anything but familial affection for one another, had designated Ben as Rey’s guide for the day. To ease the transition, the principal had put them in nearly all the same classes, aside from Spanish and the two periods after lunch,  segregated by gender. 

“Maybe Lu can show her around then,” his father suggested. Ben scowled. 

Han left, dropping a kiss on Rey’s head as he hugged her goodbye. Ben stepped back to avoid a similar fate, which earned him a tired smile from Han and an eye roll from Rey. 

Ben extended his hand out for Rey to pass him the card with her locker and combination. She handed it to him, eyeing him cautiously. 

188. That was in the freshman section. He exited the office, walking briskly, assuming Rey would follow. She did, almost jogging to keep pace with his long strides. He kept his focus forward, but he could see the interested glances from the other students.  One of the problems with living in a small town was that even unremarkable things were big news and worthy of attention. 

“So you’re a dick to Dad too, I see.” 

Ben glared over at Rey. She shrugged. Her hands were clasping the upper straps of her book bag like an eager kindergartener. 

“What? You won’t even let the guy hug you goodbye.”

“I’m not a child!” Ben snapped. 

“Yeah. Children are usually more agreeable after they’ve slept,” muttered Rey. 

Ben clenched his jaw, ignoring her until they reached the correct locker block. He tapped number 188, pushing the card back in her hands. “Have at it.”

Rey dropped to a crouch, reaching out to touch the blue metal. She frowned, eyes switching back between the lock and the card. She slowly looked up at him, eyes uncertain. 

“There’s no key.” Ben just stared back at her. Rey pursed her lips, examining the card and starting to spin the lock. It didn’t work. She tried again, with the same results. She looked back up at him helplessly. 

“Please, Ben. I’ve never used a lock like this before.” Her hazel eyes were wide and beseeching. 

Ben let out an annoyed huff but sank to his knees, nudging her aside. 

“You have to turn it three times clockwise to reset the pins,” he explained begrudgingly as he demonstrated. “Then you set it to the first number.” He looked at her expectantly. She held up the card.

“38,” she whispered. He lined the number to the indicator. 

“Then you move it to the left to the next number, but you have to go past it once.” He spun the lock again, stopping at the second number on the card. “Then to the right again for the third.” He turned clockwise again, landing on the final digit and pulling the door open. 

“Thanks.” Rey sighed in relief, moving her hand to the edge of the door. Ben slammed it shut, spinning the lock. Rey dropped her jaw, looking over at him in disbelief. 

He shrugged. “Try it yourself.” He straightened, leaning against the wall as she seethed. A few kids were mingling around, but they were freshmen and not bold enough to approach. 

At least she was a quick study, reopening the locker on her first try. He impatiently waited as she unpacked the empty folders and notebooks Leia had bought, setting a pink cloth pencil case on top before placing the near-empty book bag into the locker beside her windbreaker. She hugged the folders to her chest and stood, flashing him an unwarranted — and potentially false —cheerful smile. “What now?”

Ben rolled his eyes, pushing off the wall. “Homeroom. But first, we need to stop at my locker.” He again led her through the hall at a fast clip. Entering the sophomore section meant they were now surrounded by Ben’s classmates, who began to greet him by name. He nodded in acknowledgment but didn’t stop to talk to any of them. It was close to first bell. 

Lu was waiting at his locker, throwing her arms around him and pecking him on the mouth. “Ben! Kaydel said you weren’t on the bus today! I thought maybe you were still sick!” 

Right. On Friday, he had told Lu that he was staying home from school because he wasn’t feeling well. They had texted a bit over the weekend, but he had been vague about being busy with family stuff. 

He gave her a final squeeze before extricating himself to enter his combination. Lu leaned against her locker, which was located directly next to his. Unlike Rey, they both had top lockers; poor Greer Sonnel was smashed alphabetically between them. Fortunately, she was nowhere to be seen at present. 

“Anyway, since you bailed, Kaydel and I went and saw Before I Fall at the movie theater. I think you would have liked it; it’s one of those films that really makes you think about life, you know?” Ben grunted, unloading books and folders into the base of his locker. “Can I help you?”

Ben lifted his head at Lu’s aggressive tone. Rey was hovering awkwardly a few feet behind him, directly in Lu’s line of sight. She smiled shyly. 

“Hi. I’m Rey. Ben’s sister.”

Lu smiled in amusement, clearly misinterpreting Rey’s words for a joke. She looked over at Ben conspiratorially, communicating ‘can you believe this girl?’ with her expression. Her face fell when Ben frowned. 

"Half -sister,” he corrected weakly. 

“You have a sister?” Lu spit out in shock, her raised voice catching the attention of several bystanders. 

Ben pulled materials for his morning classes from his locker, slamming the door shut. “I’m not any happier about than you are, Lu.” 

Lu was staring at him in disbelief, mouth slightly open. “Is this a joke? I’ve known you since elementary school. You don’t have a sister.” 

Ben sighed. "Half -sister. And I didn’t know about her before.” 

“I was in London,” Rey offered. “With my mum.” 

Lu’s eyes narrowed, looking at Rey appraisingly. “London. Like the Parent Trap?” She turned back to Ben. “You have got to be shitting me.”

He shrugged. “My dad had an affair with her mom. Her mom died. Now she’s living with us.” The first bell rang. “And now I have to go introduce her to Yaddle. We’ll talk more at lunch, okay?” Ben tossed his head back. “Come on, Rey.”

Gossip spread like wildfire at the school. Although teachers had simply introduced her as Rey Clarke, the new student, everyone knew by lunchtime that she was actually Ben Solo’s bastard sister, a byproduct of some torrid transatlantic love triangle. 

“You really didn’t know about each other? Like, at all?” Kaydel had launched into interrogation mode shortly after Ben made introductions. 

Rey shook her head, picking absently at the Salisbury steak on her tray. “I didn’t know Dad was married until he told me I was coming here to live with him.”

“That had to be weird,” said Poe, Kaydel’s boyfriend. “Meeting your father for the first time right before you move in with him.” 

Rey frowned. “I mean, I’ve known him my whole life. He’s my father. I just didn’t know he had a family.” 

“And you never suspected?” pressed Kaydel. “Like, wasn’t it weird that he’d be gone for long stretches of time? How did he explain that? Didn’t your mom get suspicious?” 

Rey furrowed her brow. “He didn’t live with us. He and mum weren’t together like that. It didn’t seem weird; I knew he lived in the states. Lots of my classmates had parents who were separated.”

“Probably not any with secret families,” Lu muttered, squeezing Ben’s hand under the table. She had been holding it the entire meal in some new form of possessive behavior, forcing him to eat one-handed. 

“No, I suppose not.” Rey gave Lu a steady look. 

“So what did you mean, they weren’t together?” Kaydel tilted her head quizzically. “Was your dad just like a sperm donor, or —”

“Jesus, Kaydel! Can we talk about something else?” Ben slammed his fist on the table. 

Kaydel huffed, crossing her arms across her chest. “I was just trying to get to know your sister, Ben.”

“Well, leave my father out of it.” Lu stroked her thumb against the back of his hand supportively. 

"Our father,” Rey spoke quietly. When Ben looked up, she was staring directly at him. Her gaze made him uncomfortable, like she was challenging his very being. 

After a beat, Poe broke the silence. “So, uh, Rey: what are your thoughts on Brexit?” 

Chapter Text

After a few weeks, Ben and Rey had settled into a routine of mutual avoidance. She had developed her own circle of friends via their unshared classes and had immediately stopped eating with his group at lunch. He hated that everyone was so intimately aware of his family’s private affairs, but eventually, the novelty of their situation had worn off, and the school was on to the next thing, this time some nude snap Gentri had allegedly sent his teammates of his girlfriend.

Besides dealing with the practical implications of sharing a bathroom, Rey’s presence at home had become relatively noninvasive. Ben found that — much like his parents — she was easily ignored outside of mealtimes. 

Early on, after forgiving him for not telling her about the situation sooner, Lu had made a calculated offer to befriend Rey.

“Don’t bother.” Ben snorted dismissively, cuddling closer to her on the basement couch. “She’s not important. Just some girl that lives with us.”

“Don’t say that.” Lu pushed her lower lip forward in a sulky pout. “It’s weird to think about you living with a girl our age. If she wasn’t your sister, I’d be worried.”

"Half -sister,” Ben repeatedly tiredly.

Lu was right, though; it was weird living with Rey. While they avoided each other physically, some things were unavoidably intimate about sharing a space with another person. Ben was still acclimating to a second toothbrush in the cup on the counter, her flowery shampoo and conditioner in the shower caddy next to his, and tampons under the sink. He had stared entirely too long the first time he went to throw his dirty clothes in the bathroom hamper and saw a pair of her panties resting on top: teal, with mesh panels on the side. 

After a few more chance viewings, Ben had the frantic realization that hamper-based discoveries could go both ways and started burying anything he didn’t want her to see, like messy shorts or crusty socks, beneath other laundry. However, on more than one occasion, when he moved aside clothes to hide what he wanted to obscure, his hands came in contact with her underthings. It certainly wasn’t intentional; his subsequent handling of them was purely to make sure they looked like they hadn’t been disturbed.

Rey was his half-sister. He wasn’t interested in her like that; that would be sick. Ben resented Rey; he wasn’t attracted to her. Besides, he was dating Lu, the pretty strawberry-blonde, to whom he was not related and who had not turned his world upside down with her very existence. There was no contest. His comparison of their underwear was purely academic, that was all. 

Or at least that’s what he told himself when he started to dream of freckled, faceless bodies in teal panties. 

*****

Rey’s birthday was celebrated with little fanfare, just a simple family dinner at a moderately upscale restaurant in Cratertown per Solo tradition. Leia gifted her a set of small pair of gold hoop earrings. Han gave her keys to his truck, identical to the set Ben had belatedly received a week prior, along with the vague promise of driving lessons once she got her permit. No lessons had actually materialized for Ben yet. 

Ben did not get her anything. After all, it was her existence that had ruined his birthday. Yet a wrapped gift, purportedly from him, was buried among the stack of presents, no doubt his mother’s doing. 

In addition to the family dinner, Ben’s parents encouraged Rey to have a small party to celebrate with her peers. After initially demurring, she eventually agreed, planning a slumber party with a pair of her new friends, delayed a few weeks into May due to her birthday’s proximity to spring break and Easter. 

Initially, his mother had floated the idea of Ben staying over at a friend’s house the night of the party but had fortunately never followed up on it. Instead, he was simply banished from the basement game room for the night, which suited him just fine. Other than a brief kitchen run-in when the pizza had arrived, Ben was able to pretend Rey and her friends didn’t exist. 

That was, until a little after two am when he finally logged off his computer after playing League. He only planned to use the toilet and then head to bed, but when he walked into the hallway, he could hear voices echoing up through the open foyer from the first floor. Too curious to ignore, he tiptoed over to the railing so he could hear better. 

“Poe Dameron. In a heartbeat. No questions asked.” Ben recognized Tallie Lintra’s voice. “You can tell he knows what he’s doing.” A sigh and a clink of metal against porcelain. “Too bad he’s dating Kaydel. Lucky bitch.” 

“Hmm, I don’t think they’re having sex, though.” That was Rose Tico talking. “She only ever talks about them making out.” 

“Maybe she doesn’t kiss and tell, er, you know what I mean,” said Rey. 

The other girls laughed, and Ben smirked along with them. 

“Rey, the girl is the school gossip.” Tallie this time. “If anything remotely interesting happens in this town and she knows about it, trust me, we would have heard.” 

“In detail," Rose added. They weren’t wrong. 

“Like how we all know your brother’s got a massive schlong.” Ben gripped tighter to the railing in surprise at Tallie’s words. 

“What!” Rey squealed over the girls’ giggling fit. 

“Kaydel’s best friend is Lu, Ben’s girlfriend,” explained Rose. “She told Kaydel, and Kaydel told all the girls in our year.”

“I don’t want to hear about Ben having sex!” Rey hissed. 

“I don’t think they are having sex,” said Tallie. “Last I heard, she just started to give him head back around his birthday.” 

Ben rolled his eyes. Jesus, Lu, did you have to share everything with Kaydel?   

“Ew! Gross!” Rey squealed again. 

“Get used to it, babe. If he wasn’t dating Lu, I’d definitely go after him. He is fine." Ben filed that information away for later; he had always assumed Tallie was out of his league. 

Rey made a disgusted sound at Tallie’s pronouncement. 

“Hmm, not my type. His ears are kinda big, aren’t they?” Fuck you too, Tico. “Anyway, I thought you liked Poe?”

“I’m not picky. Just horny.” Laughter. “So what is your type then, Rose?”

“I like lighter coloring, like a blond, or maybe a redhead. Smaller ears…smaller nose.” 

More giggles. Ben frowned. He knew his ears were oversized but was his nose really that disproportionate? 

“Ben’s nose isn’t that bad,” said Rey. “It’s a bit like my dad’s.”

“Okay, so you don’t mind noses of questionable size,” said Tallie. “What do you like then? Do you have a crush on anybody at school?” 

Ben leaned over the rail like doing so was would help him hear better. He didn’t know why, but he was oddly curious to learn who Rey found attractive. 

“I haven’t really been here long enough.” Ben again heard the sound of metal scraping against a ceramic bowl. “I don’t know. I don’t think I have a type. I think I just want someone who makes me feel safe and cared for.”

“Safe?” scoffed one of the girls; Ben couldn’t tell which one.

“Yeah. I mean, my mum was always on her own and did everything for herself. She didn’t want to be tied down to anyone. But that just seemed so — I don’t know — lonely? Exhausting? I just want to be in a relationship where someone will take care of me. You know, worry about things, so I don’t have to.” 

The girls were quiet for a moment. It seemed backward to Ben; Lu was extremely independent. She didn’t even like him to pay for her on dates, claiming it was benevolent sexism. 

“Well, when you do find someone you want to date, let us know,” said Tallie, breaking the silence. “Rose and I have known most of the guys at school since kindergarten. We can tell you which ones used to eat paste.” 

“Snap Wexley,” Rose stage-whispered, followed by another round of laughter. 

“God, and he’s not even the worst!” Tallie laughed. “Come on. Let’s go back downstairs. If we stay up here any longer, I’m just going to eat more ice cream and make myself sick.” 

Ben listened as the girls cleared up their dirty dishes and retreated to the basement before he slinked back to his room. It was late, and he should have been tired, but he laid awake, replaying the girls’ conversation in his head. 

If asked, he wouldn’t have been able to explain why he spent so much time dwelling on tangible ways he could make a girl feel safe and cared for in a relationship. Or why the hypothetical girl had chestnut hair. 

*****

Two weeks before the end of the school year, Ben’s parents dropped another bomb on his life. 

“We have a surprise for you two!” Leia announced cheerfully at the end of dinner. “We’ll be spending the summer up at my brother’s cabin on the lake!” 

Ben scrunched his face. He had vague memories of family trips up his uncle’s cabin when he was younger. He mostly remembered being bored out of his mind. “Why?”

“Belated cocooning,” said Han gruffly. He looked as enthusiastic about the trip as Ben.

“What’s cocooning?” asked Rey warily. 

“It’s a chance for us to slow down, step back, and just spend some time as a family,” explained Leia. “Loads of families do it when they adopt older children.”

“But Rey isn’t adopted.” Ben didn’t like where this conversation was headed. 

“No, but her living here is new.” Leia flourished her hand dramatically. “Since she’s got here, we’ve all been busy with school and work; we haven’t had a chance to really bond.”  

“We… eat dinner together,” Ben offered lamely. 

Leia clapped her hands. “That’s exactly my point! We are all rushing around and haven’t spent quality time together. We need to remove ourselves from all distractions and just focus on being a family.” 

Ben sighed in defeat. “What week are we going? Lu’s parents invited me to go up to their camp. I was thinking over the Fourth —“

“We’re going to be there the whole summer, Ben. We’ll leave the Saturday after school ends and come back mid-August.” 

Ben stared at his father in disbelief; he must have misheard. “You’re joking. What about work?”

“I’m taking FMLA, and Chewie agreed to watch the shop for your father. He understands how important this is for the family.” 

Ben scowled. This was the second recent betrayal by his godfather. The first had been the immediate shine he had taken to Rey. Not that Ben noticed or was jealous. 

“You said we could go back to London this summer.” Rey squinted, looking at Han with narrowed, accusatory eyes. “You said I’d be able to visit my friends.” 

He grimaced. “Maybe we can go over winter break. Leia thinks, er, we think this is more important right now.”

“But the whole summer?” Rey was more distraught than Ben had ever seen her. Typically she was incredibly agreeable around his parents, still acting like a guest that could be thrown out if she was anything less than entirely pleasant. “Can’t we be a family in London?”

Leia shook her head. “No, the key part of cocooning is to shut the rest of the world out for a bit and just focus on being together. We can’t do that in a big city like London.”

“Or here, apparently,” Han muttered. Leia shot him a look. 

“What about our friends?” Ben argued. “What about Lu?”

His mother waved her hand dismissively. “You’ll see them all when we get back. Your father and I were often apart for stretches when we dated.” 

“Oh yeah? How’d that work out for you?” Ben snapped, jerking his thumb in Rey’s direction. 

Leia reared back, but it was his father who replied. “I think it’s best you go upstairs now, Ben. Unless you want to talk your way into being grounded until we leave.”

“With pleasure.” Ben shoved his chair back, not bothering to take his plate to the kitchen. He was already upstairs, hand on the doorknob to his room, when he realized Rey had been on his heels. 

“Can you believe them?” she asked incredulously. “The four of us alone together in a cabin the entire summer? It’s like the start of a horror movie.” 

He turned to face her. “Trust me, a serial killer on the loose would be preferable to how miserably boring the summer is going to be.”

“You’ve been there before?”

Ben nodded. “We went a few times when I was younger. I just remember there being no other kids around and getting duck rash.”

“Duck rash?” 

“Yeah, it’s this skin rash you get from swimming in the lake.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “This place is sounding more appealing by the minute.” 

Ben shrugged. “Look on the bright side. If we are lucky enough that a killer is on the loose, you’re the most likely to survive. The good girls are always the last ones left standing.” 

Rey laughed ruefully. “It will make one hell of a How I Spent My Summer Vacation essay.” 

“See? Bright side.” Ben joined Rey in smiling. It was, he reflected, perhaps the first genuine moment they had shared. 

Chapter Text

The cabin was even worse than Ben had remembered. Owned by his bachelor uncle, who used it as a writing retreat, it was not like the nicer cabins on the built-up side of the lake. The mattresses were lumpier, the lack of overhead fans more noticeable, and the walls thinner. The cell service was patchy, but that didn’t matter as Leia had confiscated all phones upon arrival and declared they would only be released on Sunday afternoons for two-hour intervals. 

“You can’t do that!” cried Rey. “You already took away my trip to visit my friends, and now you’re not even letting me contact them! Prisoners have more rights!”

“It’s necessary for the cocooning process,” Leia insisted. “We need to focus inward on the family; we can’t do that if our attention is outward.” 

“Are we allowed to go outside?” Ben asked mockingly. “Or do we not have yard privileges yet?”

“Ben,” his father warned. “Watch your tone.”

“Or what? You’ll ground me for the summer? Oh, wait…” That earned a laugh from Rey, but not his parents. 

“No, but now you get to clean up the yard with me. Make sure you put on sunscreen.” Han crossed his arms smugly. “And bug spray.’

Ben scowled as he climbed the steep ship stairs to the bedroom in the loft he would be sharing with Rey. Leia’s plan was already working; he and Rey were quickly bonding over their shared hatred of the entire situation. 

*****

“Your uncle has weird decorating tastes.” Rey traced along the spiky, edged wing of a model dragon plastered on the stand of a table lamp, one of several in the cabin adorned with the legendary creature. 

Ben snorted. “Yeah, well, Luke is a weird dude.” He lifted an ugly troll-like figurine from the bookshelf, dusting under it. “He’s a writer.” 

A few snide remarks and sass about Leia’s cocooning enforcement had earned them the collective punishment of cleaning the cabin while his parents picked up supplies in town. 

“What does he write?”

Ben shrugged. “He’s got a popular fantasy series. Something with magic and dragons.” 

“Hmm. My friend, Finn, was pretty into that stuff. I wonder if he’s read any of them. I’ll have to ask.” Rey laid the folded flannel blanket over the back of the couch. “Though the name Luke Organa doesn’t ring any bells.” 

“It wouldn’t. He uses a pen name: Luke Skywalker.”

“Huh. That sounds vaguely familiar. What is the series called?” Rey walked behind the island that ostensibly separated the kitchen from the main room. 

“Fuck if I know. I’ve never read it.” He glanced at Rey, who was giving him a strange look. “What? The books are like 800 pages long. Each." He shook his head. “I don’t think my mother’s even read them, and she thinks the sun shines out of Luke’s ass.” 

Rey twisted her lip thoughtfully. “You don’t like him, then? Your uncle.”

Ben shrugged. “He’s annoying. Makes everything about himself.”

“He’s letting us use his cabin.” Rey wet a sponge in the sink. “That was generous of him.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “I’m sure it was my mom’s idea. He never says no to her.”

Rey pursed her lips as she scrubbed the counter. “I’m not used to all these family dynamics. My mum was an only child, and so is Dad.” She paused suddenly, her face snapping up in alarm. “He is an only child, right? I don’t have more secret relatives, do I?”

Ben laughed, shaking his head. “No, just me. He doesn’t have any siblings, and both his parents are dead.” 

Rey nodded, looking relieved. “I knew about the parents. From what I’ve heard, I really didn’t miss much by not knowing them.” 

Ben tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

Rey lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. “They sounded like they were pretty awful, his father specifically.”

He couldn’t believe it; Han was very tight-lipped about his childhood. Ben barely knew his grandparents’ names or where his father had grown up. “Dad told you about his parents?”

Rey shook her head. “No, my mum did. She was more open about her past than Dad.” 

That stung. Ben knew that his mother had never met her in-laws, a fact she had repeated every time Ben had asked questions as a child. He clenched his jaw; why should Rey and her dead mother know more about his family than he or his mother?

“Her parents were pretty terrible too. She said that’s how they became close. Neither of them ever wanted to go home after school, so they’d just hang around with each other as long as they could get away with it.”

Ben scrunched his face, resentment suddenly replaced with confusion. “After school?”

Rey’s face fell, shoulders slumping. “You don’t know, do you? How my parents met?” She bit her lip contemplatively. “They grew up together. Childhood sweethearts.”

No, Ben had certainly not known that. Han had said very little about his sidepiece, and Ben had ignored it all. But now, he was morbidly curious. 

“How long were they together?” 

Rey sighed, gazing up at the ceiling. “I’m not sure. They started dating when they were teenagers and broke up when my mum moved to England. So seven, eight years, maybe?”

Seven years! Ben’s parents had been together less than four when they married. 

“And they only broke up because she moved?” Now that the seal had been broken, Ben felt compelled to know everything. He knew it was probably a bad idea, like picking a scab, but he couldn’t resist. 

Rey shrugged, lips twisted apprehensively. “Mum always said it was amicable, that they had simply grown apart as they got older.” Ben noticed she was wringing her hands, sponge forgotten on the countertop. “When I was a kid and asked why she and Dad weren’t together, she used to tell me that they still loved each other, but not how most mummies and daddies loved each other.”

She wet her lips, breaking eye contact to look down at her hands. “She said it was more how family loved each other. Love, but not in love. Like how a sister loves a brother.” 

They were both quiet for a moment, the cabin still as neither moved to resume cleaning. 

“Do you think they were together the whole time my parents were married?” Ben whispered, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer but unable to stop himself from asking.

Rey didn’t respond immediately, lips curled in pensively. After a moment, she shook her head slowly, eyes still downcast. “No. He visited at least once a year, but he usually stayed with the Calrissians, not us. He and Mum were always friendly with each other, but it was clear he was there to spend time with me, not her.” 

Ben could feel there was more; she hadn’t made eye contact with him. “What aren’t you telling me?”

She glanced up at him, and he could see the conflict in her face. “I think they were together a few years ago.” If the cabin hadn’t been so disturbingly silent, he wouldn’t have been able to hear her hushed words. “He lived with us for a summer. He slept on the couch, but.…” Rey shrugged helplessly. 

That must have been the summer of the trial separation. Leia had kicked Han out of the house, and he had simply moved in with his second family. 

“Mum made him leave.” Rey was still unburdening herself. “She didn’t like him being underfoot; it messed with her independence. I had hoped he would get a flat in the neighborhood, and I could keep seeing him every day, but —“ She gulped. “But he went back to America.” 

To his wife. To Ben. 

What if Rey’s mother had let him stay? Would Han have moved to London permanently, divorcing Leia and abandoning his son? Ben would have been the interloper then, spending his school breaks visiting his father and his new family. He wondered if Rey would have resented him as much as he did her for disrupting his life.

Ben scowled. “I’ll never be like Dad.”

Rey shook her head softly. “Me either. I know he loves us and tried to do what he thought was best, but….” 

“Yeah.” Ben nodded. He knew exactly what she meant without the words being spoken.

*****

“She wants us to spend the afternoons on self-improvement. My dad is taking up whittling. Whittling! He just goes out to the picnic table with this knife kit and handbook from Amazon and cuts wood for hours."  

Ben gesticulated wildly, despite it being an audio call and no one being around to see. As soon as Leia handed him his phone, he had bolted to the trails for some privacy, then spent the next hour addressing a series of increasingly angry texts from Lu before finally convincing her to accept his call. 

“Huh. That’s a real old-timey type of hobby. What are you up to? Knitting?” Lu chuckled at her own joke.

Ben scowled, kicking a rock on the walking path. “I was planning on just listening to podcasts or watching YouTube, but that requires a phone. Mom said I could listen to my uncle’s records, but his music is shit. So she gave me an SAT prep book to read.”

“Ew. I’m not even thinking about the SATs until after Christmas. Definitely not on summer vacation.” He could imagine the sour face Lu was making. “Can’t you nap? You said she won’t let you sleep in.”

“Right, she insists we’re all up and dressed by nine. And no, she won’t let me nap — I tried. At least not in the cabin. Maybe I should start taking walks and just find a tree to sleep under.” He looked up at the forest canopy thoughtfully. “I wonder if that’s what Rey does; she’s been disappearing with her sketchpad and art kit, but she never shows anyone what she’s drawn. Genius idea if she is.”

“How is it going with her? More difficult to avoid than at home, yeah?”

“Mmm.” Rey slept four feet above him and was absolutely impossible to avoid. “She’s not that bad, not really. She hates all of it just as much as I do; not just being here, but the whole mess with our dad. At least she’s better company than my parents.” 

“Beggars can’t be choosers, I guess.” 

“Yeah, guess not.” 

*****

Ben was truthfully starting to like spending time with Rey. She was surprisingly easy to talk to and had quickly learned how to make him laugh. 

Their blossoming friendship was cemented during their second week when she returned from a driving lesson and handed him a Soduku puzzle book she had purchased at the gas station.

“In case you need a break from studying vocabulary.” She had winked, and Ben could have kissed her. Soduku didn’t crack the top 100 of things he wanted to be doing that summer but still beat all the other options at hand by a mile. 

The family had settled into a routine. Each morning after breakfast, he and Rey changed into swimsuits, lathered up in sunscreen, and paddled away from the shoreline to set up a two-person floating recliner. As long as it didn’t storm, they could avoid Ben’s parents until they were called in for lunch. Ben hadn’t meant to start spending all his time with Rey, but she was literally the only other person around, and his mother was insistent they used a buddy system in the water. 

Talking to Rey for a few hours each morning while relaxing on a float in the lake turned out to be a surprisingly enjoyable way to pass the time. It was easily the best part of his day, a peaceful interlude before they were herded inside for communal cooking and post-meal socialization.

“I miss the tube. I hate that to go anywhere here, you need a car.” 

“Okay, what do you like best then?” Ben asked. “Is it American freedom? It’s freedom, right?”

Rey laughed. “Totally.” She shifted, momentarily dipping the drifter further in the water, her calves inching sideways on the edge of the float next to Ben’s head. “No, I do like that it’s less busy. London has so many people. It’s nice to have your own space.” She waved her hand at their surroundings. “Though this is a bit extreme.” She bit her lip. “I do like that we don’t wear uniforms at school. Wearing skirts in winter was annoying.”

“Wait, girls wear skirts to school in England? Maybe we should move there.”

Rey splashed him playfully. “Perv.” 

Ben splashed back. Rey glared at him. 

“Are you sure you want to do that?” she asked, a challenge in her tone. 

Ben considered his options, slowly lifting his arm back as if to place it behind his head, but at the last second, he straightened it to reach past the edge of the float to where Rey’s legs were stretched out next to him. He watched her face transition in slow-motion to horror as she realized what he was about to do, but she didn’t move quickly enough to stop him from tickling the sole of her foot. 

“Ben!” She squirmed, pulling her feet inward while splashing him. The greater distributed weight was causing her side of the hammock to dip deeper in the lake. He sat up so his hands could follow her retreating feet, causing the middle to sag further.

“What? Are you ticklish?” he teased. 

Rey thrashed, getting wetter now than she would have from a simple splash. “Ben, stop it!” 

“Make me.”

The movement was awkward due to the unsteady surface, but Rey somehow managed to launch herself at his chest, pinning him against the hammock. 

He was too shocked to struggle. Rey’s face was inches from his, her hair dripping water onto his neck. In the skirmish, one of the cups of her bikini had slipped, exposing a brown, pebbled nipple to the air. He looked at it longer than he should have.  

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t have tickled you.”

Rey nodded. “That’s right: you shouldn’t have.” She sat up slightly, oblivious that her movement caused her thigh to brush along his crotch. “And I’m sorry too.”

“For splashing me?” Ben supplied, trying to move things along as quickly as possible. 

Rey shook her head. “No, for this.” She latched onto Ben’s shoulders, rolling them both into the lake. 

*****

After that day on the lake, Ben began to take more notice of Rey’s physical body. It was like blinders had been removed. He found it impossible to ignore the swell of her small breasts above her swimsuit or the way her nipples poked against the front fabric when wet. It was unintentional, but he found the way she positioned her legs on the water hammock, pelvis twisted slightly toward him, to be seductive. Even the sundresses she wore around the cabin seemed to tempt him, showing tantalizing hints of smooth, bronzed legs. 

All of this was evidence that Leia’s cocooning had gone too far; he was lusting after his sister — half-sister — for chrissakes. Surely this was the sort of sexual deviance that only resulted from being isolated with blood relatives for weeks on end. It was a combination of lack of access to other options and teenage horniness — it was that simple. 

And Ben was horny. It wasn’t only that Lu wasn’t around — Ben also had no privacy to take care of things on his own. Leia discouraged them from spending time alone during the day, and he shared a room with Rey at night. 

Then, the stars aligned on one beautiful Tuesday at the end of July. Han and Rey left on a driving lesson, leaving Ben to take a walk with Leia. By some miracle, when they got back to the cabin, the car was still gone. His mother went down to the dock to read, and Ben declared his intention to shower. 

Which he would, eventually. But first, he would take advantage of having the bedroom to himself. After removing his shoes, he slunk up the stairs to the loft, pleased to see the curtains were closed. He laid down on the lower bunk, pushing down his shorts and taking himself in hand. 

He would probably have used his phone to pull up some reference material if he were at home, but he could do without. He thought back to a video he had watched a few months prior, with a naughty schoolgirl getting creampied in a classroom. He stroked himself as he imagined bending a faceless brunette over a desk, lifting her skirt, moaning — 

“Ben?” 

Ben stopped, cracking his eyes open. Had he imagined Rey’s voice? Was he actively fantasizing about her now too? 

Hearing nothing from downstairs, he decided he was going crazy — and probably to hell — and resumed his wanking. 

Suddenly, Rey’s face appeared at the edge of the bed, scaring the shit out of him. She was hanging upside down from the top bunk. 

“Ahhh! What are you doing up there?” Ben cried in a decidedly unmanly manner, curling towards the wall to cover himself. 

“What am I doing? I was napping. What are you doing?” 

“You’re supposed to be out with Dad!” Ben scrambled to pull his shorts up. 

“I was…we got back, and you guys were still gone. Dad dropped me off and headed back into town. He thinks the fan belt needs replaced.” 

Ben stared at the wall, willing her to disappear. This was a much more effective anti-masturbation campaign than warnings about blindness. 

“So, what are you doing?” Rey pressed. 

“Nothing,” Ben replied, grinding his jaw. 

“Oh, do you always have your dick out when you do nothing?"  

Ben glanced over his shoulder to glare at her. Rey was smiling wickedly. She shrugged, which looked weird upside down. 

“It’s not a big deal. I do it too.” What?  

Rey lifted an eyebrow. “Wanna race?”

“What?” he choked, now near certain he was hallucinating. 

“See who can get off first.”

“No!” 

Rey shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She disappeared into the top bunk.

Ben should have left then, run downstairs, taken a shower, jumped in the lake — something. But he was reeling from what had just happened, staying put as he tried to process it. 

And then he heard a whimper. And then a gasp. Both came from above. He had to be dreaming, or she had to be faking. 

He rolled on his back. “Are you actually touching yourself up there?” 

“Mmm,” moaned Rey in a way that sounded genuine enough to answer his question indirectly. 

“I’m still here!” 

“Mmm — then leave if you want.” 

Ben did want — didn’t he? Yet the sounds she was making were making him grow harder. Unbidden, the image of what Rey must look like while making those noises flooded his mind. He imagined her lying supine on the bed, legs butterflied apart, her hand moving rapidly between them. 

Almost involuntarily, he rubbed his length through his shorts. 

Rey let out another low moan, which made his dick jump. He essentially had no choice but to dip below the elastic waist and resume pumping — he was only human. It wasn’t like he tried to match the strokes to Rey’s pants…initially. 

“Decided to stick around?” Rey purred out smugly between hitched breaths. 

"Shut up!" he ground out lowly, not wanting to let reality seep in and distract from the task at hand. 

“I’m close, Ben,” she murmured huskily. “If you’re want to win, you’re going to have to move fast because I’m — mmm — almost there.” 

The throatiness of her voice was intoxicating. He could picture her back arching off the bed, pushing her tits skyward. He increased the pace of his movements, but it was Rey’s long groan of completion that sent him flailing over the edge, thick fluid splashing onto his stomach. 

Fuck.  

*****

>

Chapter Text

They got through the rest of the summer without bringing up what had transpired in the loft that day. After a few awkward days, they had settled back into their previous routine, sunning themselves on the lake while they chatted about nothing and everything, and trudging through mandatory bonding time. 

Ben still thought Leia’s cocooning idea was ridiculous, but in the end, she had been right: it had brought them closer as a family. Rey started acting like a typical teenager around Leia, pushing back without fear it would result in her being kicked out of the house. Ben was back on speaking terms with his father. Though not eliminated, tensions had softened during the many hours of driving practice they racked up. 

Most significantly, he and Rey now treated each other like siblings, or at least how Ben assumed siblings treated each other. That is, willing to hang out or talk when there were no other options but dropping each other immediately when anything remotely more interesting was available. 

With the start of school, they both settled back into their social circles, which did not include each other. In a school as small as theirs, they were not able to avoid each other effectively, but at least now they behaved amicably when alone, reminiscing about lame teachers or their classmates’ idiocy. 

A few weeks into the school year, Ben passed his driver’s test and officially inherited his mother’s old Honda, which was to be shared with Rey. Rey had expressed little interest in pursuing her own license, content to let Ben chauffeur them around, especially since it meant she could nap in the morning on the drive to school. 

Ben didn’t mind. He liked the freedom of driving; it was worth the inconvenience of occasionally dropping Rey off at her friends’ houses.   Having a car also meant he always had somewhere to be alone with Lu without fear of being interrupted.  

Like a private place for her to dump him. 

“We hardly talked the entire summer, Ben. It got me thinking about why we were even together.” 

Ben threw up his hands. “It wasn’t like I was avoiding you! I called you every week!” 

Lu waved her hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter. Not talking for so long made me realize that we were just together because it was convenient, not because we actually want to be together.” 

“I want to be together,” Ben insisted. “You know how much I like you.”

“As friends. We like each other as friends." Lu picked her words carefully. “But there’s no passion in it.”

“Passion? What the hell do you call what we did in the backseat last week?” Ben gripped the steering wheel. They were parked, but twisting the rubber of the wheel cover was a good stress outlet.

Lu rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I mean.” She turned so she was facing him across the center console. “Like, I texted with Kaydel every day this summer except for the week she was in Mexico and dropped her phone in the water. And I missed talking to her that week. But with you, there were times I’d go the whole week not noticing that we hadn’t talked until the phone rang and I saw you were the one calling. Do you get what I mean?”

“That you want to date Kaydel?”

“Ughh! No!” Lu sulked back against the passenger seat. “Just take me home, Ben.” 

By some small mercy, his parents were not home when he finished the awkward drop-off with Lu. They were on a regular date night kick,  some renewed attempt at saving their marriage. But Rey was home, her head popping up from the couch like a prairie dog when he came in from the garage. 

“Oh good, it’s you. I was worried it was Dad and Leia.” She lifted up a brown glass container for him to see. “Want a beer?” 

He shrugged, padding across the room to collapse onto the couch next to her.  She handed him the bottle.

“Where did you get this?”

“Dad has a few stashed in the fridge beneath the wet bar. I just made sure to replace the one I took out with one from the case in the garage.”

“Smart.” Ben took a small swig and passed it back to her. 

Rey raised her eyebrow. “Are you okay? You’re home earlier than I expected.”

Ben frowned. “Lu dumped me.”

Concern immediately flooded Rey’s face. “Oh, Ben, that’s terrible! Did she say why?” 

Ben snorted. “She said we lacked passion.”

Rey scrunched her face in confusion. “Aren’t you guys having sex?” 

“That’s what I said!” Ben stressed the answer with his hands. He blushed and, for some reason, felt the need to give more context. “We weren’t, though. Having sex, I mean. Like, not sex -sex.” 

Rey smirked at his verbal fumble. “Don’t worry, Ben. I’m sure you’ll have the opportunity to have sex-sex with a girl soon.” 

Ben was still rolling his eyes when she leaned across the couch, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a tight embrace. “You’ll be okay, Ben. Plenty of girls like you. Hell, even I like you now.” 

******

The first week without Lu was rough. Ben was forced to rebalance a decent chunk of his social life, returning to sit with his single male friends at lunch, Mitaka and Bodhi. He kept an eye on his old spot in the cafeteria, but it didn’t seem like Lu was in a rush to replace him. Or maybe she was just biding her time until Kaydel tired of Poe; he was still confused about that entire situation. 

Being single also meant his Saturday nights were decidedly less busy since it was considered date night for many couples, including his parents. He tried not to think about how lame he was becoming, choosing to stay in and play League instead of going out with people.  It wasn’t like he was a recluse; he still went to football games and afterparties on Fridays. He just wasn’t ready to be out and about on Saturdays yet. 

Rey had no such problem. In fact, since she had still dragged her feet on signing up for her driver’s test, the excitement of his Saturday nights had quickly become driving her and her friends places. He was a little surprised the second week in October when Saturday came around and Rey didn’t ask for a lift. Curiosity drove him to investigate, finally finding her on the back patio. 

“You aren’t going to Tallie’s?” Rey jumped, startled by his stealth appearance. 

Rey shook her head, setting the pad in which she had been drawing down on the glider beside her. 

“No. I didn’t want to go out this weekend.” 

“Oh. Uh, any reason?”

Rey shrugged, averting her eyes. Ben nodded at the sketch pad. 

“What are you working on?” Rey snatched the pad back up, pulling it protectively against her chest. 

Ben held his hands up defensively. “It’s cool. You don’t have to show me.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I was thinking about ordering—" 

“My mother.” The whisper was so low Ben almost didn’t hear it. He tilted his head, signaling he was listening. 

“It’s her birthday tomorrow. That’s why I didn’t want to go out tonight. I wasn’t in the mood to be around people.” She spoke softly, eyes focused somewhere around Ben’s feet. 

“I’m sorry, Rey.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’ll leave you alone then if you don’t want to be around people.”

Rey’s eyes met his. “You’re family. It’s different.” 

Ben took that as an unspoken invitation, walking over to sit down on the glider next to her. Rey slowly lowered the drawing pad from her chest, passing it over. 

Ben had never seen a photograph of Rey’s mother, so he could not judge how faithful a likeness the drawing was. The woman in the sketch had high cheekbones, almond-shaped eyes, and thick eyebrows. Rey had drawn her smiling. 

“No one talks about her. I get why you and your mum don’t, but even Dad won’t. It’s like he feels guilty or something. I just wish it didn’t feel like I was the only one who remembers her.” 

Ben pursed his lips. Learning about the woman with whom his father had cheated on his mother was something he had actively avoided. But Rey was in pain. 

“You can talk to me about her.” He passed her back the sketchpad. “Tell me about her.”

Rey looked at him doubtfully. “Come on, tell me something. What did she do for work?” 

“Consulting. She specialized in international business.” 

“Okay, I’ll pretend I know what that means.” The corner of Rey’s mouth upturned slightly. “So what was she like? Was she super strict?”

Rey shook her head. “No. She expected me to behave, but she was more hands-off than Leia. Maybe it came from her being on her own, but she wanted me to be independent. Like she wouldn’t tell me I had to do laundry, but she also wouldn’t have any sympathy if I ran out of clean clothes or feel compelled to do it for me.”

“Doing your own laundry sounds awful.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “It’s not that hard. And you have it even easier here — we didn’t have a tumble dryer.”

Their conversation about Rey’s mom continued, with the two falling back into the ease they had developed over the summer. Ben ordered pizza, and they moved inside to the couch as the daylight began to fade, with Rey liberating a few of Han’s beers for them to share. 

“Oh, oh! Another thing!” Rey slapped her hand against her thigh, a little tipsy. “She and her friend Elthree were super sex-positive. Like, to an embarrassing degree. Elthree even bought her daughter a vibrator when she turned sixteen. Jannah said she wanted to die.”

“I bet.” Ben was grinning as he took a sip of his second beer. “Do you think your mom would have gotten you one for your sixteenth?”

Rey shuddered. “God, I hope not. I do fine on my own, thanks.” 

“I remember.” The words slipped out before he realized he was saying them. 

Rey quirked an eyebrow, smirk on her lips. “Do you?”

Ben reddened. Rey leaned back against the arm of the couch, pulling her feet up. “I assume you’ve been getting plenty of practice now that you’re single.”

Ben spared a quick glance over at her. She was smiling smugly. 

“Think you can beat me in a race yet?”

Ben nearly dropped the bottle. 

“Joking!” Rey laughed and extended her legs, poking the side of his thigh with her toes. “But I am curious, what do guys think about when you jerk off?”

He looked over at her in disbelief. “Really? This is what we’re talking about? Aren’t we supposed to be talking about your mom?”

Rey shrugged. “I just told you she was very open about sexuality. Consider it honoring her spirit.” She lifted her beer in a mock salute before taking a sip. 

Ben rolled his eyes before lifting his own beer high and drinking. “Fine. I don’t know about all guys, but I usually think about girls and their tits.”  

“Like girls you know, or?” 

Ben gave a small nod. “Sometimes. Or girls from online. It really depends.”

“On what?” 

Ben shrugged. “What I’m feeling like that day, I guess. Sometimes you just get an idea and your body goes with it.” He paused. “What about you?”

Rey didn’t answer immediately, taking some time to pull her legs underneath her. “Not people, per se. More acts, if that makes sense? Like thinking about someone doing things to me.”

“Like what things?” Alcohol was making Ben bolder than usual. 

“Taking control. Taking what they want.” 

Ben wasn’t sure he understood but couldn’t form a follow-up question that wasn’t highly inappropriate. 

Rey cleared her throat after a minute of quiet and set her empty beer bottle on the coffee table. She stood up, walking over to stand beside Ben’s left knee. 

“Thanks for staying with me tonight and talking about my mum. It really did make me feel better.” She looked down at him shyly.  

Ben looked up, smiling gently. “Of course. What are brothers for?”

Rey smiled, bending down to hug him. The angle meant minimal torso contact, but he felt how tightly she squeezed behind his back. He placed his hands on her shoulder blades in a lame attempt to return the embrace. 

“I really do appreciate it, Ben,” she whispered. She pulled back, letting her arms rest on his shoulders as she looked him in the eyes, searching. 

Ben opened his mouth to assure her it was fine when she suddenly leaned in, placing her lips on his. 

It wasn’t a sisterly kiss. Those didn’t last long and certainly didn’t involve lip movement.  

But this one did. Ben was stunned, not fully processing what had happened until it was over. 

Rey looked him fearfully in the eye for a split second before pulling away entirely and running toward the stairs. 

He called after her and jumped up to follow but heard the garage door open. Cursing, he quickly gathered the beer bottles, rushing to hide the evidence of their drinking before his parents came into the house. 

Rey’s door remained steadfastly closed the rest of the evening. Ben desperately wanted to talk to her but wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. He laid awake in bed, brushing his fingers over his lips like some dumb kid who had just received his first schoolyard peck. He was unsettled to discover that despite knowing it was wrong, he still wanted to kiss Rey again.  

Chapter Text

If he hadn’t been so desperate to talk to her, Ben would have been impressed at how well Rey was avoiding him. 

On Sunday, other than mealtimes, she barricaded herself in her room and hid out in the garage with Han, even convincing him to take her out for driving practice. On Monday, when Ben thought surely she would have to talk to him on the drive to school, she got up early and took the bus. She interacted with him at school, as long as people were around, but was careful to never be alone with him. 

Ben put up with it until Thursday afternoon when he decided he had had enough. He went to her locker after the dismissal bell to wait for her. He was taller than most of the students and could see her approaching before she saw him. When she noticed him, her eyes widened slightly. 

“Ben, what are you doing here?”

“You’re riding home with me today.” He looked her directly in the eye, voice firm and arms crossed. 

Rey shook her head. “No, you don’t have to. I don’t mind taking the bus.” She stepped closer, expecting him to move, but he stayed still. “Can you move? I need to get into my locker.”

“Sure. As soon as the buses leave.” Rey shot him a look, annoyed by his answer. “Or you agree to drive home with me.” 

Rey grasped her books and folders closer to her chest.”Please, Ben. Just let me in.” 

Damn. He had not accounted for the puppy dog eyes. Pursing his lips, he stepped to the side, nearly colliding with Kaydel Connix, who was standing at her own locker. 

“Watch where you’re going! Oh, hey Ben.” Kaydel smiled brightly. “How have you been?”

Ben shrugged. “You know. Hanging in there.” 

Kaydel nodded vigorously. “Totally. Did you hear about what’s going on with Cad Bane? Who would have thought? You guys have calc together, right?” 

Ben tried to break away from the conversation, but Kaydel was relentless. “I just remember him being a troublemaker in elementary school. Like when he set all the computers to Spanish — bye, Rey — or when he’d hide the chalk. I guess you really —“ 

Ben looked over his shoulder to see Rey booking it toward the exit. He muttered a hasty goodbye to Kaydel and jogged after Rey, grabbing her bicep when she was halfway across the parking lot. 

“Nice try.” Rey sighed in defeat, no longer fighting as he led her away from the buses toward the student lot. 

They drove in silence for a few minutes. He focused on the road, but he could see Rey glancing over at him nervously in his periphery. She didn’t say anything until he skipped the turn toward their neighborhood. 

“Where are we going?” She sounded anxious and a bit alarmed. 

“Just to the Lookout. If we go home, you’ll just hide in your room again.” The Lookout may have been where Lu dumped him, but it was a reliably private spot, especially on weekdays. 

Rey huffed and crossed her arms, staring out the window as they drove up the hillside. The lot was nearly empty, with just one car parked at the far end.  Ben killed the engine, turning to look at her. 

“Rey, you have to stop avoiding me. We need to talk.” 

“There is nothing to talk about.” Rey continued to stare out the window, not facing him. 

“Rey, you know that’s not true.” He shifted, leaning his right side against the seatback. “You kissed me. We can’t just pretend it didn’t happen.” 

Rey squirmed in her seat. “Can’t we? Can’t we just move on and forget it?” 

Ben cast his eyes downward and spoke softly. “I don’t want to forget.”

Rey dared a peek over at him, catching his eye as he continued his confession. “I can’t stop thinking about it. How your lips felt against mine, your hands on my body…” 

“I’m sorry,” Rey apologized, rushing her words. “I’m sorry you have to keep reliving it.” She frowned, shaking her head. “I shouldn’t have done it. I was drunk. It won’t happen again.”

Ben reached across the console, grabbing her hand off her lap. “Rey, I want it to happen again.” 

Rey’s eyes widened but remained locked on his. “You do?” she whispered in disbelief. 

Ben nodded. “That’s why I can’t stop thinking about it. I want to do it again.” He stroked her cheek gently with his free hand. 

Rey sighed, shaking her head. “Ben, I’m your sister."  

"Half -sister,” he clarified patiently. “And so what?”

“So it’s weird!” Ben pulled back his hands as if stung. Rey tilted her head sympathetically, looking both apologetic and conflicted. “I’m sorry, Ben, but we can’t.” 

Ben was crushed by her words but knew she was right. Just because he had enjoyed it didn’t mean it wasn’t wrong. He nodded slowly, turning frontward. 

“Yeah. You’re right.” He sighed, glancing over at her again. “But can you stop avoiding me? I don’t like it. I miss hanging out with you.” 

Rey broke out into a grin. “Of course. I’ve missed hanging out with you too.” 

******

After their talk at the Lookout, Ben and Rey again fell back into a comfortable routine. They returned to chatting and hanging out but avoided any reference to or discussions of the kiss. Much like with the incident at the cabin, there was an unspoken agreement between them that they would put it out of their minds. 

But Ben still thought about it. Often. Rey officially became the default star of his wet dreams and jerk-off sessions. He may not have been able to have her in real life, but he wasn’t strong enough to banish her from his imagination. He hoped it was just a temporary fixation, that his mind would latch onto something else, and he’d move it past it.

But she was constantly providing fresh material for him. There were lazy weekends where she’d walk around the house in pajamas without a bra, nipples poking through and tits bouncing against the thin cotton of her top. Even her whining his name after he gleefully demanded rent for Boardwalk during mandatory family game night was transformed into something erotic, fueling his fantasies. 

It all led him to initially think he was dreaming one night a few weeks later when Rey appeared in his room a little after eleven, quickly opening and shutting the door behind her. But the Rey of his dreams typically didn’t look so upset when she tried to seduce him. 

“What’s wrong?” He hurriedly set his phone and earbuds down on the nightstand, fantasy football updates forgotten. 

“They’re fighting.” Rey’s voice was low and wary. 

He hadn’t been listening for it before, but Rey was right; if he concentrated, he could hear the raised voices of his parents. 

“Yeah…they do that sometimes.” Ben chose his words carefully. Rey did not seem comforted, hugging her arms against her chest.

“I don’t like it,” she whispered.  “It makes me nervous.”

Ben frowned. “It will be okay.” He tried to speak in a soothing voice, but his words lacked conviction. 

Rey shook her head rapidly, unconvinced. “You don’t know that!” she hissed. She shuffled over to the bed, sitting down on the edge near his feet. “What if they get divorced?”

Ben didn’t answer immediately. His parents divorcing was a subject he had thought of in detail many times. It wasn’t a particularly desirable outcome, but he had made his peace with the possibility. 

“Even then, it will be okay,” said Ben slowly, shifting his back against the headboard. “I’ve thought it all through before. Dad would probably move to the apartment complex where Uncle Chewie lives, if not into the same apartment, and we’d visit on the weekends.”

Rey gaped at him, not believing he was so calm about the topic. "We? Wouldn’t I go with him?”

Ben frowned. “I guess so. Maybe? I haven’t thought about it much since before you came to live here.” 

“It’s all I can think about.” She shivered, rubbing her arms. Ben looked closer and saw she was wearing sleep shorts and a tank, clearly ready bed. 

“Are you cold?” 

Rey shook her head in obvious self-denial, waving him off. “I’m fine.” 

Ben rolled his eyes, moving over closer to the middle of the bed. He lifted the covers. “If you’re going to be here a while, at least get under the blanket so you don’t freeze.”

Rey looked at him skeptically. “Just get in, Rey.” He was pleased to see she didn’t put up any further resistance, just a dramatic sigh as she stood and walked up to the top of the bed, sliding in next to him. She wriggled her toes against his bare legs. 

“Gah! Your feet are freezing!” complained Ben. Rey smirked. 

“Maybe I was a little chilly.” Ben rolled his eyes.

Rey picked absently at the bedspread, pointedly not looking at him. “Are you really not worried about them getting divorced?” 

Ben shrugged. “No more than I usually am. What’s got you so worked up about it?” 

“They are going to marriage counseling. Their first session was tonight.” She grimaced. “I don’t think it went well.”

Ben tilted his head, dubious. “How do you know they are going to counseling?”

“Dad told me when we were working on the Falcon a few days ago.” 

Ben frowned. “Neither of them said anything to me.” 

Rey looked over at him sympathetically. “I don’t think they meant to keep it from you. Or rather, I think they meant to keep it from both of us.” She shrugged. “I think Dad just told me because he knows I’m worried that I’m the source of their problems.”

Ben narrowed his eyes, shifting how he was sitting to face her more fully. “What do you mean?”

Rey lowered her eyes timidly. “Like, if I didn’t exist, Leia wouldn’t have known about the thing with my mum, and they would have just gone on happily with their lives.” 

“Rey,” Ben whispered softly. “Things weren’t perfect before you got here. Any problems they have existed before you.” 

“I know,” Rey replied mechanically. “That’s what Dad keeps saying.” She looked up at Ben sheepishly, the start of tears in her eyes. “I just don’t believe it. How does my presence not make things worse?”

Ben scooted over, wrapping his left arm around her shoulder in a side hug. “Rey, you being here makes things better, I promise.” Rey shook her head against his shoulder, denying his words. He hugged her tighter. 

“Look, they fought before, loads of times. They even separated for an entire summer a few years ago. But they’ve never gone to counseling before. Or I don’t think they have.” He rubbed his hand along her bicep in a comforting motion. “That’s a good thing, don’t you see? That means they are trying, really trying.”

Rey sniffled. “I guess.” She still sounded unconvinced. She shifted, wiggling closer into his embrace. 

“If they get divorced, do you think they’d let us stay together? Like, we’d both go live with Han, or Leia would let me stay here?”

Ben nodded, softly kissing the crown of her head. “I’ll make sure of it. Wherever you go, I’ll go too. I promise.” 

“You’re a good brother, Ben.” Rey’s voice was sleepy. “I don’t want to be separated from you.”

“I don’t want to be separated from you either,” Ben whispered back. He could make out a few of the words being shouted below. 

“Can I stay here? Just until they stop fighting?” Ben could hear the underlying desperation in her plea. There was no way he could deny her. He was used to being on his own when his parents fought and remembered how awful it was, especially the first few times. Ben was sure they would both find comfort in not being alone, complications be damned. 

“Of course.” She nodded gratefully, disentangling herself from him so she could burrow into the bed. He followed, shuffling downward so he was propped against the pillows. 

As he finished settling, Rey crept closer to him, placing her head on his shoulder. “Is this alright?”

Ben was too stunned to reply, just humming a short assent. After a moment, he dared to lift his arm and place it around her back. She didn’t say anything, just squirmed a little closer. His heart was still racing with the adrenaline from the situation when he realized she had drifted off. 

He studied her a moment, enjoying the opportunity to observe her without staring creepily. Oddly, for the first time in weeks, the sensation that bubbled up in his body from thinking intensely about her was not lust. Instead, it felt like something new, something he hadn’t felt before. Deep affection and attachment, paired with a desire to keep her safe. Perhaps this is what they called brotherly love. 

Chapter Text

Another Saturday night and Ben was again at home. This one stung a bit more than the others: it was Homecoming weekend. 

Not that he particularly wanted to dress up in a monkey suit and go to a dance in the school cafeteria. But it was one of those social milestones that seemed to exist solely to remind him that he was currently unattached with no prospects. He had briefly considered asking Tallie, remembering her overheard comment from last spring, but she had started dating Geno Namit at some point and was unavailable. 

It wasn’t really a big deal. It wasn’t like he was interested in anyone anyway. 

Well, not in anyone who he could publicly take.

He was surprised that Rey didn’t have a date. He had been so busy ignoring discussions about the dance on principle that he hadn’t realized that they had never explicitly talked about what her plans were for it until she plunked down onto the basement couch beside him. 

“So, what are we up to tonight?” She looked at him expectantly, like it was just an ordinary evening. “Can we watch another episode of Black Mirror? I liked the twist in the last one.”

Ben nodded hesitantly, still confused why she was at home with him and not out. “Why aren’t you at the dance?” 

Rey raised an eyebrow, giving him a look. “Why aren’t you?” 

“I didn’t ask anyone. But I swear I remember hearing that Beau Kin had asked you.”

“He did.” Rey sighed. “But I had to turn him down.”

“How come?” Ben leaned forward, curious. “I get not wanting to date him, but he’s a decent guy. You would have had fun with him.” 

Rey nodded. “I agree. I think we would have had a good time.” 

“Then why not?” Ben framed his question carefully, refusing to let himself hope.

“He wasn’t the first to ask me.”  Rey pulled her feet up on the couch underneath her. “Armitage Hux asked me the week before.” 

Ben narrowed his eyes. He was not a fan of Hux. “That guy is a prick.” 

Rey laughed. “Oh, I am with you there. But Rose has a massive crush on him for some reason.” She held up her hand before Ben could respond. “I know, I don’t get it either.” She shook her head. “Anyway, Rose would kill me if I said yes, so I lied to him and told him I wasn’t allowed to go as punishment for something I had done.”

Ben smirked; she was the picture of innocence in a ponytail,  jeans, and a cream-colored sweater. “What did you tell him you did?” 

Rey waved her hand dismissively in the air. “I didn’t. I just told him I wasn’t going to be allowed out that night, but my friend Rose had been hoping to go and suggested that he ask her.” She shrugged. “He bought it. I think he may have only asked Rose to get on my good side, but that’s never going to happen.”

“So that’s why you had to turn down Beau?” Ben asked, the pieces coming together. 

“Yep.” Rey nodded. “I need Hux to have a good night out with Rose and not be stewing about how I lied to him.” She lifted her arms wide above her head. “So here I am, ready to spend the evening watching Netflix and raiding the kitchen for snacks.”

“Wild night you have planned.”

Rey rolled her eyes playfully. “Oh? Am I keeping you from some quest or whatever it is you play on your computer?”

“They’re called matches, and you know it.” Ben smiled. “But your plan sounds better. You wanna get the popcorn, and I’ll grab a few beers? 

Just over an hour later, Rey was finally done complaining about how stupid she thought the animated Waldo was and how boring she found politics. 

“That’s enough Black Mirror for tonight, I think.” Ben switched off the TV, throwing the remote on the table. “What did you want to do now? I can show you how to play League of Legends since you are so curious about it.” 

Rey rolled her eyes but grinned. “No thanks. Not that level of desperate yet.” She tilted her head, looking at him in deep consideration. 

“Hey, Ben?” Her voice was tentative; he could tell she was choosing her words carefully. “Do you remember a few weeks back, when we went up to the Lookout after school?”

Of course he remembered. At her words, Ben immediately became hyperaware of everything. He saw the nervous look on Rey’s face and the micro-movements she was making, betraying the casualness of her tone. He felt his heart beating faster in his chest, and his palms grow sweaty. Ben took a final sip of beer before setting the bottle on the coffee table.

He made eye contact with her, nodding slowly. “I remember.”

Rey swallowed. “That day, you said you weren’t angry about me kissing you. That you kept thinking about it and wanted to do it again.” 

Ben kept staring at her but said nothing, not daring to potentially ruin things. She broke eye contact, looking down at her hands, which she was wringing. 

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot too,” she confessed quietly. “About us kissing.” She bit her lip, pausing for a moment. 

“I think I want to do it again too.” Her head lifted, wide eyes recapturing his. “If you’re still interested, that is,” she said in a rush, preparing to backpedal. “I know I said it’s weird, but it feels right, and —“ 

“I’m still interested,” he replied eagerly. He couldn’t believe this was really happening. 

Rey stopped her speech, breaking into a shy smile. She nodded, nervously tucking a phantom lock of hair behind her reddening ear. “Right. Good.” 

Ben slid over on the couch so he was directly beside her. “Can we start now?” he asked impatiently.

Rey laughed as she nodded, tipping her head up as he tilted his head down. 

The first kiss was slow and halting, as if they both were still uncertain or in disbelief that what they were doing was real. Then Rey opened her mouth, encouraging him to deepen it, which he did. He lifted his hand to the back of her head, threading his fingers through her hair to hold her close as they made out. Rey let out a little moan that went straight to his groin. 

He was kissing Rey — actually kissing her. It was long, languid, wet, and wonderful. She moved her hand up to grasp his shirt, fingers pressed tightly against his upper chest. 

“Everything okay?” Ben searched her eyes when they separated, faces only inches away from each other, breath mingling together.

Rey gave a short nod, voice breathy. “Yeah. Can we keep going?” 

Ben groaned, launching himself back toward her. He couldn’t get enough of her lips sliding over his, the way they were exploring each other’s mouths. He loved the timid way her tongue welcomed his when he first darted it inside and the way she grew more adventurous, probing back against him. It reminded him a bit of his early make-out sessions with Lu, but the little mews and moans Rey was making had a stronger effect on him than kissing Lu ever had. His cock strained against the zipper of his jeans in a full boner. 

He withdrew slightly, starting to nibble the corner of her mouth, working his way along her jawline to below her ear. She inhaled sharply, fingertips pressing more firmly against his chest and waist. She tilted her head, submissively exposing her neck to him. He almost lost control entirely when she whined his name softly. 

He attacked with renewed energy, worrying her skin against his mouth in a way he knew would bruise. He wanted to mark her as his, declare to the world that she was not available and that everyone else should back the fuck off. She didn’t object, raising her hand and weaving fingers in his hair. Ben couldn’t get enough of the ragged, sultry way she was breathing.

He needed more. He wrapped both arms around her, lifting her to sit on his lap. As he placed her down and she arranged herself, she shot him a staggered and unsure look. 

“It’s fine,” he whispered soothingly, leaning in to resume their kissing before she could object. It took a beat for her to reengage and do more than passively accept his gentle kisses. She rested her arms on his shoulders and around his neck, allowing him to pull her closer to his chest. 

Her movements weren’t intentional, but the weight and warmth of her body over his crotch were doing things to him. He desperately wanted to pull her hips down and rub her center against his length to buck into her. The double layers of their jeans at least made things less embarrassingly prominent, but she had to have noticed his erection by now; it was probably why she was hovering, putting her weight into the knees splayed on either side of his hips rather than relaxing down. That, or their height difference. 

Rey’s moans and enthusiasm had returned; all reason, everything other than Rey, had left Ben’s mind. He slid his right hand up along her back, easing it along her side to cup her breast. 

Rey stilled, pulling their lips apart and resting her forehead against his, eyes closed. He brushed his hand over her sweater gently. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, moving to kiss her cheek and then jaw. “Don’t be afraid. I feel it too.”

Rey nodded slowly against his neck, which Ben took as consent, starting to gently knead her breast. Gradually, she relaxed, arching her back slightly as his hands became bolder. He snaked his other hand around as well, this time sneaking under the hem of her sweater to settle on top of her bra. Rey inhaled sharply. 

His hands occupied, Rey was forced to keep herself upright, using the arms around his neck to stay vertical at the harsher angle. Ben didn’t know if her next move was intentional or just the result of her thighs tiring, but she gingerly sat down on his lap, core rubbing depravedly against his cock. 

He grunted; it was too much stimulation to take. Ben thrust upward, rocking roughly against space between her legs. 

Rey’s eyes fluttered closed as her breath hitched. He felt her fingertips dig into his nape. Emboldened, he did it again.

Rey’s eyes flashed open. “No! We can’t!” 

Before Ben could stop her, she was scrambling off his lap and swatting his hands away. “This was a bad idea,” she rushed out, moving away to stand a few feet from him. She was hugging her arms across her chest. Ben turned to face her but stayed seated. 

“No, it wasn’t!” he argued back. “It was a great idea! Weren’t you enjoying it?”

Rey looked at him despondently. “Of course I was enjoying it! But we can’t do that, Ben. We can’t have sex.” 

Ben stood, taking a tentative step toward her and speaking softly like she was a spooked animal. “Then we don’t have to have to. We can still do other things. Things that aren’t sex.”

Rey shook her head rapidly. "No. We can’t do that again. Any of it.” She bit her lip, eyes teary. “I’m sorry, Ben.”  

And then, for the second time in as many months, Ben was left to see her fleeing up a set of stairs, away from him.

Chapter Text

At least Rey wasn’t actively avoiding him like she had after their first kiss. He played along, letting her act as if the night in the basement hadn’t happened, but he hadn’t forgotten. If anything, their nascent exploration had made him want her more, adding more real-life reference points to call upon when he jerked off in the shower or in his room late at night, his mouth covered by the back of his hand to muffle the obscene noises he made. 

Today would be different. It was only a half-day at school before the holiday, and Rey had already announced her plans to hang out with Rose in the afternoon. That meant he would have an empty house to himself for several hours. He already knew what he was going to do, anticipation coursing through his body during morning classes, excited to the point of distraction on the drive home at noon. 

He headed straight upstairs; lunch could wait a bit. He was going to enjoy this opportunity to be loud and completely uninhibited. He tossed his book bag on the floor near his desk and made a quick pitstop in the restroom. As he began to walk back to his room, the open doorway to Rey’s room caught his eye.

He hadn’t really been in it since she had moved in. He’d stepped inside a few times to talk when she was at her desk, but they generally stayed out of each other’s private space. He crossed the hall for a closer look. Her bed was made, per household rules, and still sported the same impersonal gray damask comforter it had before its transformation. She hadn’t added much to the walls, but the pile of sketchpads and jars of colored pencils on the desk made it distinctly hers. 

Ben twisted his lip, considering. No one was home. He had the house entirely to himself. Why not change up the location too? 

Decision made, he stepped inside. He puttered around a bit, casually touching her things before sitting down on the bed. Her nightstand was fairly empty, just a reading lamp, a box of tissues, and a bottle of hand lotion. He picked up the bottle and sniffed; it reminded him of the scent he often faintly smelled when Rey was around. He set it down, swinging his legs onto the bed and settling back against her pillows. 

Here the smell of Rey was more pungent; he turned his head so he could bury his nose against the linen. He thought about Rey laying down in this exact spot each night. Did she touch herself before bed? Did she sneak her hand beneath the elastic of her pajamas, rubbing against her folds until she came? Did she think of him when she did? 

Ben moaned at the thought, moving his hands down to unzip his jeans, kicking them off entirely. He thought about her getting ready for bed, slowly removing her clothes, and strutting around the bedroom naked before donning pajamas. He imagined how her tits would bounce as she moved around, nipples hardening in the night air. Maybe it was then, when she was undressed, that she would lay down and spread her knees.

Ben leaned up, removing his shirt and dropping it onto the bed beside him. Then, deciding there was no point in pretense, he also shucked off his boxers. He reached down, taking himself in hand and giving his length a few short strokes. He imagined Rey hovering over him, taking him in her hand, lowering her head… 

He groaned, reaching over to the nightstand and squirting a bit of the lotion in his hand. He resumed, enjoying the olfactory hint of Rey and smoother glide. He closed his eyes, letting his mind merge scenes from porn and his recent experience with Rey into a fantasy of her riding his dick, undulating her hips against his as she moaned and whimpered like she had when he kissed her neck. He hastened his pace as he imagined her moving her hands to her chest, massaging her tits as he stuffed her full of his cock. 

He didn’t even try to suppress the groaned, needy noises he made as he got close. Fantasy Rey was babbling, telling him how good he was fucking her, how much she wanted him to fill her with his cum, moaning his name as she threw her head back, joining him as he crested…

“Ben!” 

Ben’s balls were already clenching, starting to spurt hot semen on his chest when he snapped his eyes open at the sound of her voice. Rey was standing in the doorway, eyes wide like saucers. 

“Rey!” he squeaked, too stunned by her appearance and his orgasmic haze to do much else. 

Rey dropped her backpack to the ground where she stood. “What are you — what are you doing?” she asked, overwhelmed and stumbling for words. 

“Fuck!” Ben scrambled for his shirt and boxers, torn between wiping his chest clean and covering his junk. “Why aren’t you with Rose?”

“Hux asked her to hang out instead, so she ditched me. Your friend Bodhi gave me a ride home.” She was clearly preoccupied, answering like she really wasn’t listening to what she herself was saying. 

“What are you doing in my room?” She took a deep breath, looking directly at him. “ I mean, I know what you were doing, but why were you doing it in my room?” she asked desperately. 

Ben reddened. He was trapped; Rey was blocking the doorway and his escape. He was caught red-handed, sitting upright on her bed, his cum-stained shirt balled over his front. There was no graceful way out of this. 

“I, uh, thought the change of scenery would be nice.”

“Change of scenery?” Rey repeated incredulously, clearly not buying his ridiculous answer. “And you chose my room?” She crossed her arms. “No one is home. Why not in the living room or the basement? You could have even used the Roku to stream porn from your phone onto the big screen if you wanted.”

She pressed her lips together, taking a step forward. “Why my room?”

She wasn’t blocking the door anymore. Ben thought he could probably sprint past her without making contact. Rey took another step toward him, catching his eye.

“Why did you come into my room, Ben?” she whispered earnestly.

The direct eye contact was making it impossible for him to lie. “I was thinking about you,” he confessed softly, voice barely audible. 

There was a sharp inhale of breath from Rey, but she held his stare, pupils dilating. 

“I told you we can’t,” she whispered weakly once she found her voice again. 

“I know.” Ben nodded slowly. “But that doesn’t stop me from wanting you.” 

It felt like an eternity passed as the two of them stayed still, continuing to hold each other’s gaze but not saying anything. 

Without any forewarning, Rey suddenly dropped her arms and spun around, stomping out of the room without a word. 

Ben was stunned frozen for a moment, not sure what was going on, but snapped out of it quickly, gathering  his clothes and darting across the hallway to his room. 

He came to an abrupt halt in the doorway, frozen still again at the scene inside that greeted him. 

Rey was splayed out on the top of his bedspread, her clothes scattered haphazardly on the floor, and her fingers circling between her thighs. When his eyes finally made their way up to her face, she looked at him triumphantly, offering up a sassy smirk. 

“What? You don’t like it when it happens to you?”

Quite the opposite. His dick, despite its recent performance, seemed very much to like the tableau, twitching behind his soiled clothes. 

He had never seen Rey naked before. Not properly. He’d never seen any girl naked before, at least not in person. He stepped deeper into the room, shutting the door behind him. He moved over to the bottom of the bed, watching her the entire time. He pulled his desk chair over, spinning it around to face her.

Rey’s eyes narrowed as he sat down, leaning his elbows forward to rest on his knees; prime viewing location. 

“Who says you get to watch?” The power behind her demand was dampened by the breathiness in her voice. Ben shifted in the chair, not even bothering to hide the start of his new erection. 

“It’s my room. You can’t kick me out.” He answered slowly; it took a great deal of concentration to form the words.

Rey hummed a neutral reply. Ben focused on taking her in, all the details of her body that had remained a mystery, even in bikinis. The small, pert nipples on her chest called out to be kissed and sucked. The trimmed patch of hair on her mound and the fleshy pink folds at her center, currently being explored by her delicate fingers, beckoned to him like a siren’s song. 

He stared at her for a minute, watching her leg jerk as she passed over her clit and the way her chest was becoming flush. 

He pounced.

He launched himself onto the bed beside her, chest hovering over hers as he captured her lips in a bruising kiss. Rey moaned into his mouth, grabbing at his shoulders. He broke away, brushing his lips along her jawline to whisper in her ear. 

“Tell me to stop, Rey. If you really don’t want this, tell me to stop.” 

Rey moaned as if in pain, rolling her head away from him. He nuzzled below her ear.

“Rey, I want you. I want you so bad it hurts.” He kissed her neck. “Are you going to run away again?”

Rey groaned again in protest, turning her head to look him in the eye, face vulnerable. Ben felt like a thousand years passed in the second she took to stare in his soul before she lifted her head up to smash her lips into his. 

Ben had never felt such joy before. Rey hadn’t pushed him away. She was naked in his bed. Even if she stopped things later like she had the last time, he knew she still wanted him. No matter what she thought about what they should or should not do, she wanted him. 

And she was enthusiastic about wanting him. She threaded her fingers through his hair as they made out, pulling him on top of her. She sighed contentedly when he brought a hand to her bare breast, thumbing over the erect nipple. Ben saw stars when she slid her hand down between them and circled her fingers around his erection. 

“It’s soft.” She blushed as she inexpertly stroked upward. “The skin, I mean. Obviously, you’re hard, but I mean —“ Ben cut her off with a kiss, thrusting into her hand. He was rewarded with a small gasp. Ben grinned against her lips, moving to nuzzle her neck as he repeated the motion.

Ben moved his hand down her belly to slip between the pink folds she had shown off earlier, growling lasciviously as he felt how slick she was. 

“Shit. You’re so wet, Rey,” he huffed near her ear. “My cock would slip right in.” The named organ jerked in her palm at the mention.

“Okay.” 

Ben lifted his head to look Rey quizzically in the eyes. He could have sworn he had heard her whisper permission. Her fingers tightened against his shoulder. 

“If you’re going to do it, do it now.” Her sincere hazel eyes latched onto his. “Otherwise, I’ll lose my nerve.”

He had to be dreaming, right? This couldn’t be real. She was asking him to fuck her; how could this be real?

Ben saw the embarrassment starting to rise on her face at his hesitation. Real or not — and god, he hoped it was real — he wasn’t going to pass up the chance to do what he had been fantasizing about for weeks. He smiled down at her encouragingly, nodding. 

He reached down to take himself in hand. Rey dropped her hand and moved it up to his shoulder.  He tried to keep his eyes on Rey’s face as he lowered down to brush his cockhead along her folds. Rey closed her eyes but spread her legs wider. 

“You okay?” 

Rey didn’t open her eyes but nodded. “Yeah. Just — yeah.”

Heart pounding, Ben used his hand to guide himself along her slit. He didn’t know much about sex thanks to their school’s abstinence-only education but knew enough from porn to know where to stick it. Still, even knowing what was coming, he inhaled sharply when he felt his tip notch against her entrance. 

Rey was biting her lip and holding firmly onto his shoulders, but she wasn’t stopping him. He experimentally pushed forward, surprised to encounter resistance. Rey let out a small whimper.

“Are you in?” she whispered. 

Ben blushed, thankful her eyes were still clenched shut. “Uh, part of me is.” 

Rey took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”

Ben withdrew slightly, then tried again, thrusting more forcefully this time, and was pleased to find he could slide in further. 

She felt amazing around his cock, the tight wet heat of her walls engulfing him. Rey squirmed against him, which felt even better. 

“You okay?” he checked, uncertain what he would do if she said ‘no.’ Rey nodded shakily, cracking her eyelids open to look up at him nervously. 

“Yeah, just let me know when you’re inside. Inside all the way.”

Ben nodded, turning his focus to seating himself fully. He tried (and failed) to mentally catalog all the new physical sensations he was feeling and the breathy vocalizations Rey was making as he steadily worked his way in deeper. 

He gave a solid thrust and finally bottomed out, feeling his balls lightly smack against Rey’s body.

“I’m, uh, in,” Ben mumbled. “All of me.” 

Rey exhaled forcefully, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly. “It’s a lot,” she confessed softly. 

“Are you, is it, does it hurt?” asked Ben, stumbling over his words. 

Rey scrunched her nose. “I just feel very full. Lots of pressure. I’ve never —”

“Can I move?”  It was taking immense self-control to stop from rutting into her with abandon. 

Rey looked startled but nodded slowly, granting him permission milliseconds before he pulled back and started to ram into her. Rey let out a throaty cry, digging her fingertips into his shoulders. 

Fucking Rey felt fantastic. Smooth, slick, and tight; he wanted to stay sheathed in her cunt forever. The little pants and moans she made in time with his pace were intoxicating. He surveyed her body, taking it all in, from the gentle reddening of her face to the way her tits bounced as he pounded into her. 

Rey was starting to babble. It was mostly an unintelligible jumble of moans and curses, but Ben’s chest swelled with masculine pride each time he heard her rasp his name. She lifted her legs, wrapping them around his lower back, keeping him close as he thrust into her wildly. 

“Ben, hmm, I’m close.” Rey was panting, her breath shallow. She writhed underneath him, moving her body to find the friction she desired. 

Suddenly, she dug her fingers into his shoulders, painfully. He watched as she threw her head back, wailing and arching off the bed, lips parted. Ben felt her cunt flutter around his cock as she found her release. 

He had heard her come once before at the lake house, but seeing her come undone was something else entirely and utterly magnificent. He paused to watch her, enjoying the way she wriggled against him, finally releasing her hands from him to rest lazily near her side, smiling up at him in a contented haze. 

Ben leaned down to capture her mouth in a quick kiss before beginning to rail into her with abandon, quickly thrown over the edge after watching her peak. 

He leaned down to nuzzle into her neck as he spilled inside her, oblivious to everything else. 

When he finally lifted his head, wholly sated and warm in his post-orgasmic haze, he was taken back by Rey pushing at him and grumbling to get off her. Did she regret what they had done? 

He withdrew, rolling onto his side to give her space. She scrambled to sit up, pushing him roughly on the shoulder. 

“Dammit, Ben!” she scolded angrily. “Why did you do that?”

Ben scrunched his face in confusion as Rey started to dab the inside of her thighs with a tissue, wiping away the mess he had left.  

“I’m sorry? I thought you wanted it.” 

Rey looked at him in disbelief, shaking her head before growling in frustration. “God, Ben. You’re such an idiot sometimes.” She launched herself off the bed, grabbed her clothes, and stormed off. 

He followed. He tried to talk to her through her locked bedroom door, but she had simply ignored him and cranked her music up higher. Ben finally accepted defeat and took a sobering shower, hiding in his room until Han got home. 

Ben was a bag of mixed emotions, thrilled to finally have had sex, to finally have had sex with Rey, but also confounded by her apparent anger and the way she had once again fled after physical intimacy. Intellectually, he supposed he understood her struggle. They were technically siblings, even if they hadn’t grown up together. Brothers and sisters weren’t supposed to have sex with each other. 

But she had admitted to wanting him the same as he wanted her, taboo or not. She had been the one to suggest they have sex. She had come on his cock. So why was she so conflicted about it? Why couldn’t she just accept, like he had, that those rules didn’t apply to them? That they didn’t need to deny what they both so clearly wanted? 

Ben sighed. She’d come around. She always did, after an initial freakout. He didn’t like her emotional crises, but he could tolerate them. It’s what a good brother would do, after all. 

Chapter Text

Ben’s uncle arrived at the house Thanksgiving morning in abnormally high spirits. Ben tolerated the hug Luke seemed insistent upon giving him, taking some satisfaction in how much taller he had grown than his uncle. Luke still towered his petite sister, but he now had to tilt his face upward to make eye contact with Ben. 

“And this must be Rey!” Luke was smiling, but Ben caught how his eyes examined her critically as they shook hands. 

Leia settled them in the living room; she had made it clear at breakfast that she expected the teens to spend the holiday with family, not holed up in their bedrooms. Ben didn’t particularly care for Luke’s intense personality or self-important stories, but tuning him out while he yammered on was better than the chores his mother would suggest instead. 

“You know, I would have liked to have met you sooner, but my sister insisted that the family had to maroon alone this summer,” Luke grumbled as he wiggled into a comfortable position in Han’s armchair. 

“Cocoon, not maroon!” Leia called from the kitchen. 

“Cocoon. Whatever.” Luke rolled his eyes, waving his hand dismissively. “All I know is it meant I wasn’t allowed to visit my cabin the entire summer since I apparently didn’t qualify as close-enough family.”

“It was a nice cabin.” Rey smiled soothingly. Ben had to stop himself from snorting. “We had a good time.”

“Bought that cabin when the movie rights for the Desert Jewel got picked up. Wrote all four books for Red Squadron there. Quiet. A good place to get away from the madness of the world and really be immersed in the craft, you know?”

Rey nodded. “Yeah, I did some drawing while I was there.” She pulled her legs up onto the couch, tucking her socked feet beneath herself. “My friend, Finn, is a big fan of yours — he’ll freak when he hears I stayed at the cabin you wrote your books.” 

Luke smiled smugly. “Your friend has good taste.” Ben rolled his eyes; stroking Luke’s ego was the way to his good graces. 

“He’s really excited about the new book. He said it has a female protagonist?”

Luke nodded. “Alayne.” His eyes shifted to Ben, his head tilted and sporting a gentle grin. “Your mother’s idea.”

Ben didn’t react. He didn’t care where Luke found inspiration for his writing. 

“Yeah, that confused me at first: that you had a different last name than Leia.” Rey leaned on the armrest. “Ben explained that you use a pen name. Skywalker’s a really cool name — how did you choose it?” 

Ben saw a more solemn mask slip over his uncle’s face. 

“Skywalker was our birth name. It was changed to Organa when we moved in with our aunt. When I started publishing, I chose to use it instead. My legal name is still Organa, just like Leia’s.” 

“Huh.” Rey nodded thoughtfully. “So, like a tribute to your parents?” 

“Something like that.” Luke’s tone was abnormally flat and hollow. “My publisher thought it would market better than Organa.” He paused for a moment before shrugging half-heartedly. “Now I wish I had used my legal name — be easier to get out of speeding tickets if I had.” 

“You could try not speeding, Luke.” Without Ben noticing, his mother had appeared behind the sofa, grasping the back of it with her hands as she faced her brother over his and Rey’s heads. 

Luke’s demeanor warmed as he smiled roguishly at his sister. “What’s the point of being famous if I don’t get any of the perks?”

Dinner was civil, with Luke, Rey, and Leia carrying the conversation. Ben followed his father’s lead, only joining the discussion when dragged into it. Luke talked a lot about himself and his work but listened politely to his sister as she told him about their summer at the lake. 

“I’m happy we went, but it was quite desolate.” Leia shook her head at the memory. “I don’t know how you stand it, Luke. Especially being there all alone.” 

Luke shrugged. “Eh, it doesn’t bother me. Removing all distractions allows me to focus on my craft.” Ben suppressed another eye roll as he took a bite of turkey. 

Luke chuckled, eyes sparkling. “Besides, who said I was alone?” 

His mother narrowed his eyes slightly as if uncertain on how to respond. After a moment, she broke eye contact with her brother, turning to address Rey. 

“So, Rey, what do you think of your first American Thanksgiving?”

“I’m enjoying it.” Rey smiled politely, though Ben could sense it was partially forced. “I’m excited to try the pumpkin pie. My mum always complained you couldn’t get real pumpkin pie in England.”

“You celebrated Thanksgiving in London?” Luke peered at her curiously. 

“Yeah. It was a small thing, not a national holiday like it is here. But we’d have a big meal and celebrate each year along with the Calrissians.” 

“Calrissian? As is Lando Calrissian?” Luke looked genuinely surprised. 

Rey scrunched her face, confused. “Yes…”

Han shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “Rey’s mother was good friends with Lando and his wife.”

“Was she?” Luke tilted his head. “Wanted to keep her close, huh? Had your old pal Calrissian keep an eye on her for you?”

Rey looked at Luke circumspectly but said nothing. 

“Qi’ra was the one who introduced me to Lando.” Han’s voice was low and gruff, like he was trying to contain his emotions. “They were friends long before I met him or Elthree.” 

“Kinda convenient, don’t you think?” Luke leered over his plate. “Your mistress palling around with your former business partner?”

“That’s enough, Luke,” Leia warned sternly. 

Luke shrugged, undeterred. “Just trying to understand. With all the trouble I’ve had in love, I looked to Han as an example of someone who stayed committed through thick and thin. Thought there was something wrong with me. Maybe I would have married Mara if I knew I could just keep fucking other women.” 

“Luke!” Leia scolded. 

“What?” Luke looked around the table as if seeking out an ally. “Are we not supposed to say the truth out loud?” He nodded toward Rey. “It’s not like you found her in a cabbage patch.”

“Rey’s my daughter,” Han growled, slamming his fist on the table. “Regardless of the circumstances, which are on me, she’s part of our family. Leave her out of this.” Ben watched his father clench and unclench his fist as he tried to regain his composure. “Just drop it. We’ve decided to move past it.”

“Have you?” Luke pushed back, clearly not picking up on, or choosing to ignore, the warning tone in Han’s voice. “Or did you decide and force everyone else to fall in line? What choice did your wife have —“ 

Han pushed back, springing to his feet. Rey startled and jumped against the back of her chair. Ben kept his head down; he could hear his mother pleading with them to stop.

“Leia made her fucking choice!” spat Han. “Are you just jealous because she decided to stay with me? If you knew her at all, you’d know no one makes her do anything! Jesus!” Han slammed the table then stormed out toward the garage. 

Ben risked a glance up; Rey was frowning. She looked over at Leia, communicating silently. Ben’s mother nodded, and Rey stood, fleeing after their father. 

“Why must you always start things with Han?” Leia cried.  “I told you we were working through things; you said you understood, that you supported me —“

“I do support you.” Luke’s voice was firm and calm compared to his sister’s. “I’ll always support you. I lent you my cabin and spent the summer in Iowa for chrissakes. But it was easier to accept your decision when I thought it was a short affair. When Rey mentioned Lando, I realized he’s been deceiving you for years, doing the very thing you swore —“ 

“Not now, Luke.” Ben was trying to make himself small and unobtrusive, morbidly curious about the conversation, but still knew it was his presence that had caused his mother to stop Luke from finishing his sentence. She was usually much better at making sure she didn’t raise her voice in front of her son. 

Luke laughed grimly, shaking his head sourly. “It is true what they say, isn’t it? We really do marry our parents.” 

Ben peeked through his hair; his mother glared at her brother but looked more uncomfortable than angry. 

“Han is nothing like Dad.” 

Luke smirked, swirling the wine in his glass. “I know.” 

*****

Tensions in the house had cooled off by the following day, aided primarily by the absence of Han, who had gone to the shop before Ben even woke up. If not actually contrite, Luke had at least made a play at reconciliation with his sister and was working on smoothing things over with Rey when Ben arrived in the kitchen. Rey appeared to be taking Leia’s lead in forgiving his drunken outburst.

Ben was less inclined to dismiss his words. He knew Luke was a prick, with or without wine. He agreed with his father; he didn’t understand why Leia was so lenient with Luke, never holding him accountable for his juvenile tantrums and behavior. It was a deep contrast to how strict she was with him and Rey. 

Luke left on Saturday, but Rey managed to evade Ben the remainder of the weekend, helping his parents with various Christmas tasks, from stringing lights outside with Han to making cookies with Leia. Finally, on Monday, a school holiday, he was able to corner her in the kitchen when he came down for breakfast, both of his parents at work. 

Rey was standing at the counter, spreading peanut butter on bread. He approached her from behind, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. She quickly shrugged him off. 

He slunk back. “Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you!” The ferocity with which she was wielding the knife against the bread betrayed her words.  

“Then why are you avoiding me?” Ben pressed. “I know you get scared every time we mess around, but I thought we agreed you wouldn’t —“

“I’m not scared because we had sex!” hissed Rey, dropping the knife on the counter and spinning around to face him. “I’m scared because we didn’t use protection, and you didn’t pull out! I’m worried I might be pregnant!” 

Ben felt his stomach drop; he hadn’t even considered that; he had assumed Rey would take care of contraception.  “Shit. Do you, do you think you are?”

Rey leaned back against the counter, shrugging. “I don’t know. My period isn’t due for a few more days. I’m not nauseous or anything.”

“That’s good, right?” Ben asked, unsure. 

“I guess.” Rey looked down at her feet, her voice conveying no confidence. 

An idea struck Ben. “You can take a test, can’t you? Like a pregnancy test?”

“Yeah. Though not until I miss my period.” Rey snorted. “I’d have to go down to the general store to buy it.” She looked at Ben derisively. “You think Shara will not mention to Leia that I bought one?”

Ben frowned. The store owner was good friends with his mother. Rey was right; everyone knew everyone else’s business in this town. 

He sighed. “So, what do we do?” 

Rey crossed her arms. “Just wait, I guess.” 

That sounded like a terrible plan to Ben. How long would they have to wait to find out? What were they going to do if she was?

He made eye contact with Rey, which broke him out of his reverie. Her face had fallen, clearly more upset and worried than angry or reproachful. 

“Hey, it will be okay,” he comforted instinctively, stepping beside her. She allowed him to embrace her, burying her face into his shoulder. 

“What if it’s not?” she whispered. “What if I am?”

Ben had no fucking clue what he would do. He couldn’t even begin to process that yet. No wonder Rey had been so distant — she must have been wrestling with options and possibilities since they had had sex. 

Wrestling through them alone.

”Whatever happens, we’ll get through it,” he promised. “We’ll get through it together.”

*****

Returning to school seemed to help them both at least pretend they weren’t losing sleep over what would happen if Rey did turn out to be pregnant. Until they knew one way or the other, Ben was reluctant to discuss specific options with Rey, but that hadn’t stopped him from googling all the information he could about early pregnancy and what it took to get an abortion in their state. Thank god for private browsing and his parents’ complete ignorance of its existence. 

Ben had no idea what she would want to do if she was pregnant. Would she want to get an abortion? Have it, but put it up for adoption? Keep it? 

Ben wasn’t even sure what he wanted her to do. Obviously, not being pregnant was the simplest and cleanest solution. They could pretend it never happened and continue with their lives as they were now. 

Yet, for some reason, Ben spent the most significant share of his time thinking about the scenario in which she kept the baby. The idea became less terrifying the more he considered it. He had always assumed that he would eventually be a father and have a family. And while he hadn’t planned to start in high school, he found he rather liked the idea of having a child with Rey. The logistics of doing so were intimidating, particularly if it were to happen now and not post-college, but he wasn’t ready to dismiss the idea out of hand. 

All that being said, when Rey bounded happily into the car after school on Thursday and gleefully announced she had started her period during gym class, his primary emotion was relief. He enthusiastically shared in Rey’s mini-celebration then began to drive them home. 

Rey was quiet, shaking her leg in rhythm with the radio as Ben let his mind wander. If’s had become What if’s, which somehow made it more morally acceptable in his mind to fantasize about Rey bearing his children, about her filling the role of the wife in his imagined future family. 

“We can’t risk that again.” Ben was pulled from his thoughts by Rey’s voice. Her tone was serious. 

Ben glanced over at her and frowned. Apparently, them hooking up had been a one-time thing for her. Unlike him, she didn’t think it was worth continuing their relationship or whatever term one used to describe their odd dancing around each other. 

It made sense, he supposed. Rey was beautiful and amazing. Given a choice, why would she be with him and not someone hotter or smarter? Or simply someone she didn’t share DNA with? He knew the fact they were siblings had caused her to pull away in the past. Maybe he needed to just accept that no matter how often he told her it didn’t matter to him, they were simply not going to work.

“Right,” he finally said, despondent. “I get that.” 

“We’ll just need to be more careful next time.” 

“Next time?” Ben croaked, positive he had misheard. 

“Unless you don’t want to do it again?” Rey rushed out nervously. 

“Of course I do!” Ben exclaimed loudly, afraid any hesitation could lead to her taking the offer off the table. 

He glanced over at Rey. She was smiling shyly back at him. 

Chapter Text

It quickly became routine for them to rush upstairs to Ben’s bedroom each day after school, taking advantage of the empty house. Ben had slightly more experience than Rey, having previously dated Lu, but Rey was as enthusiastic a participant as he was in their heavy makeout and petting sessions. 

Rey was initially resistant to removing any clothing below their waist, nervous from the pregnancy scare. Ben hadn’t protested; he was content with kissing, fondling her tits, and dry humping. He just made it a habit to go jerk off in the shower as soon as Leia got home. 

It wasn’t just the physical aspects of being with Rey that he enjoyed. He was thoroughly smitten, basking in the warmth of cuddling with her while watching TV in the basement, holding hands on the drive to school, or listening to her tell bad jokes. He simply liked spending time with Rey and wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. Even with other options — friends to hang out with, places to go — he just wanted to be with Rey. 

Living in the same house gave them ample opportunity to steal kisses and touches. Grazing hands beneath the dinner table and illicit touches obscured by a blanket during family movie night were only the beginning. Ben had never felt an adrenaline rush as intense as when he pushed Rey against the wall of the upstairs landing, mouth crushed against hers, his hand sneaking under her shirt to caress her breast as his parents’ voices echoed from the kitchen below. He was a man possessed. 

It was Rey who re-escalated their physical intimacy, unexpectedly reaching down the top of Ben’s jeans to encircle his length as he hovered over her on the bed. 

Ben’s eyes fluttered shut, and he let out a small groan as she stroked upward. 

“Maybe, if we’re careful, we can do more,” whispered Rey huskily. “Not sex, but you know, everything else.” 

“Yes,” Ben answered automatically, nodding vigorously. “We’ll just be careful.”

Which was how they started incorporating blowjobs and fingering into their after-school routine. 

For the first week, Rey was adamant careful meant only one of them could be naked at a time, though Ben soon convinced her that was rule overly cautious. They’d be safe as long as he kept his dick away from her vagina. He wasn’t going to deny himself the phenomenal sensation of dragging his cock against Rey’s soft skin out of a misguided abundance of caution. Besides, while it didn’t live up to his memory of sex, writhing against Rey and then painting her breasts with his cum was a very acceptable alternative. 

Still, the temptation was there. After teasing an orgasm out of Rey using the tricks she had been more than willing to teach him, he was often struck by a primal impulse to position himself between her legs and just bury himself inside. Outercourse was fine and all, but humans were meant to fuck. He wanted to have that again, to claim Rey fully as his, not just do it halfway. 

So, nearly subconsciously, he decided to try. He wasn’t going to actually enter without her permission, but he was going to do his best to convince her to grant it. As Rey finished cresting, her back arching against his chest as they laid on their sides, he slipped his dick between her upper thighs, close enough to her center to wet it with her arousal. 

“What are you doing?” Rey stammered softly, more curious than accusatory. 

“I just want to feel you.” Ben nuzzled into her neck, caressing her breast as he pumped slowly between her slick thighs. 

Rey shook her head, wriggling against him. “No. It’s too risky.”

“I’ll pull out this time. I promise.” Ben pressed his cock higher, sliding between her folds. She whimpered when he grazed her clit. 

“You can’t —mmm — you can’t go inside, Ben.” He heard her warning but was finding it difficult to obey the words. If he angled himself just so, it would be so easy to just push into her…

He kissed behind her ear and focused on tilting his hips at the optimal angle to hit her swollen nub and weaken her resolve. 

“It will be fine,” he murmured. Rey was panting; Ben thought she might be close to coming a second time. 

“We can’t,” she moaned, clearly as frustrated as he was, but then she started to grind down onto his cock. Ben cursed, savoring the new form of friction. He bucked more forcefully, growling into Rey’s ear as he felt her clench against him. A few minutes later, it took immense self-discipline to drag himself away and make sure he sprayed his load onto her back and not between her lips. 

Later, when they were cuddling under the covers and enjoying their remaining alone time, Rey reopened the discussion. 

“I’d like to have sex again.” Ben felt his heartbeat increase as she spoke. “But we’d have to use a condom.”

Ben frowned. Where the fuck was he going to get condoms? “Are you sure I can’t just pull out? I promise I will. I just didn’t know to the first time.” 

Rey huffed into his shoulder. “I can’t deal with that uncertainty again.” Her confession was soft and whispered. “Those few days when we didn’t know if I was pregnant or not was terrible. I don’t want to go through that again.” She snuggled closer. “Condoms are safe. You can fuck me as much as you want if we use them.” 

“And just where are we supposed to get them?” groused Ben. “You refused to buy a pregnancy test from the general store because Poe’s mom would tell Leia. Do you think purchasing condoms there will be any different?”

Rey wriggled against his side uneasily. “I don’t know. I haven’t worked it out yet. I just know we can’t have sex again without them.”

“Fine.” Ben sighed, not at all happy with the recent development. 

*****

Neither Ben nor Rey worked out a plausible method for acquiring condoms before Christmas the following week. It became largely secondary in Ben’s mind; he knew that they would be spending the holiday packed to the rafters at his great aunt’s townhouse. He’d be lucky to sneak a kiss, let alone attempt sex. 

Han loaded them into the car before dawn on the twenty-third. At first, Ben happily napped in the backseat, but at a pitstop a few hours later, Han forced him to take a driving shift, allegedly to get some more experience on the highway. Rey shot him a smug look as she leaned her head against the window to continue sleeping. Apparently, their romantic relationship didn’t trump sibling rivalry in all situations. 

Ben’s smile was triumphant after lunch when Han announced that Rey would be driving next, despite only having a permit. His smile didn’t even diminish when she scowled at him in the rearview mirror. Toward the end of the drive, when Han took back over to navigate the city, Rey punched him in the arm as she climbed into the backseat, perhaps with a little more force than she intended. Ben played up the pain, but she smiled affectionately when he looked over at her. 

Aunt Breha was ecstatic to meet her pseudo-granddaughter, greeting Rey warmly and making her feel welcome. She was decidedly less enthusiastic about meeting the woman Luke had brought along as a surprise houseguest. Her displeasure seemed to be shared by the rest of the adults in the extended family, who eyed Luke’s new girlfriend contemptuously.  

Jaina was dressed inappropriately for a Boston winter and was hanging off Luke in an intimate manner that felt obscene to witness. Ben saw his mother roll her eyes and knock back her wine when Jaina giggled at something Luke whispered in her ear. 

Beyond annoying his family with his unplanned guest, Luke had also created a minor logistics crisis. Aunt Breha had intended for him to take the second twin in Ben’s room and suggested that his friend share the double in Rey’s, but Luke insisted that he and Jaina stay in a room together. Several alternate configurations were discussed, with at least one under-the-breath muttering from his mother that the problem could be solved with a hotel reservation. 

Finally, Rey spoke up during a lull, pointing out that Luke and Jaina could take her room and she could bunk with Ben. Breha didn’t look particularly pleased by this suggestion; Ben knew she was traditional and probably didn’t like the idea of her unmarried adult nephew sharing a bed under her roof, but Luke cheerfully accepted Rey’s suggestion before Breha could object. Ben knew his aunt was too polite to tell him off, but his mother, her flute of wine now empty, looked prepared to. 

Exhausted from the long day in the car, Ben didn’t even have the will to try something with Rey despite the possibilities opened up by the new sleeping arrangements. After brushing teeth and changing into pajamas, neither had even suggested sharing a bed, each eager to simply get to sleep.

Most of the extended family lived locally and came over the morning of Christmas Eve. Breha’s children were a decade or more older than Ben’s mother, and in turn, their children, at least those that bothered to show up, were partnered off young professionals, more at ease with the rest of the adults than their teenage second cousin. Ben and Rey’s interactions with the extended family mostly involved answering the same questions about school and hobbies to each new relative with whom they orbited into conversation.

The only real exception was Lianna, who had a six-month-old baby with whom Rey was enamored.  Gavyn couldn’t even sit upright on his own, but Rey seemed fascinated, eagerly offering to hold him and listening attentively as his mother described baby-led feeding as he slobbered on a roasted carrot. 

Per tradition, after gift exchanges, the family launched into playing party games, concluding with charades, which Ben always hated. Rey was decidedly less jaded than him, whole-heartedly laughing as Breha’s son Prestor attempted to mime Blue Christmas while she held the sleeping baby in her arms. 

He and Rey finally got some alone time later that night after midnight mass, which, much to Rey’s irritation, did not actually start at midnight. 

“I’m just saying, why call it ‘midnight mass’ if it starts and ends before 11pm?” grumbled Rey. 

“I don’t know. It just is.  I don’t ask questions.” Ben tossed his tie into the open suitcase at the foot of his bed. “At least we’re home before midnight.”

Rey rolled her eyes, grinning. “You sound like an old man. You’re sixteen. It’s not like you don’t stay up past midnight all the time.” 

Ben shrugged. “Staying up to play League is a lot different than staying up to go to church.”

Rey removed her earrings, setting them on the nightstand next to her phone. She looked at him over her shoulder, smirking. “And what about fooling around with your sister? Is that worth staying up late for?”

“Always.” Ben was beside her in two strides, bending down to capture her mouth with his. It had been days since they had made out. 

Rey eagerly returned his kiss, sighing contentedly when he pulled her body flush with his own. When they paused, she smiled up at him, tugging him toward her bed.

“We shouldn’t,” he murmured reluctantly as he sat down next to her. “Not with so many people in the house.”

“We’ll be quiet.” Rey’s hands lifted to unbutton his collar. Ben nearly snorted; Rey was usually anything but quiet when they messed around. His retort was cut off by Rey pressing her lips against his. 

Once her fingers had finished unbuttoning his shirt, Rey jerked him forward to lay down on top of her, moaning softly as they landed horizontally on the bed. Instinctively, Ben’s hand crept under her sweater to cup her breast. 

Rey hummed and repositioned her legs so that her knees were parted, her skirt rucked up near her waist, Ben nestled between her thighs. He ground against her, the risk of discovery heightening the sensation. Rey moaned again, more loudly this time, as she squirmed against him. 

“You have to be quiet,” he admonished softly. His parents and Breha were below, but Luke’s bedroom was also on the top floor. “Can’t let them hear.” He nuzzled her neck. “Can’t let them hear how hungry you are for your brother’s cock.”

Ben wasn’t sure where that had come from, but Rey was apparently into it, wrapping her legs around his low back and groaning. Ben covered her mouth with his free palm. “Is that what you want, Rey?” Ben taunted in a whisper. He rolled his hips against her center. “You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” 

Rey moaned again, but he felt more than heard it this time. There was no way he would actually have sex with her here, and she knew it. What they were doing was risky enough. Besides, when he got to fuck Rey again, he wanted to hear every little whimper she made as he railed into her, not have to urge her to suppress her reactions. 

He thrust against her slowly, watching attentively as she breathed deeply and arched her neck. Then he heard a moan that definitely did not come from Rey. They both froze. 

“Mmm, yes!” This time he identified that the source voice was coming through the wall — the wall the room shared with Luke’s room. He and Rey looked at each other in horror. His hand slid off her mouth to the bedspread. 

“God, yes! Fuck me!” Ben sprang off Rey as if shocked. He hadn’t realized women actually talked like that outside of porn. And it wasn’t stopping; Jaina’s x-rated babbling continued. Ben was registering just how thin the walls were on this level. 

“Their sounds could cover ours,” said Rey hopefully, pushing herself up to sit next to him. Ben shook his head violently. Hearing his uncle having sex did more to crush his libido than a cold shower had ever done. He definitely didn’t need those sounds somehow becoming entwined with memories of fooling around with Rey. He might never be able to have sex again if that happened. 

“How old do you think she is anyway?” asked Rey. “I heard a few of your cousins joking when Luke was out of earshot about Jaina at least being legal. Do you know what that’s about?”

“No.” Ben really did not want to discuss his uncle right now, not when he was using so much of his focus to block out sound. 

“I saw her scrolling through TikTok. My guess is twenty-two, tops.” 

Ben recoiled. A particularly loud wail penetrated the wall. He jumped to standing, moving quickly toward the door. 

“I can’t listen to this anymore — I’m going to take a shower.” He didn’t even wait for Rey to reply as he rushed out of the room, Jaina’s wails chasing him down the stairs. 

Chapter Text

Christmas Day was a more intimate affair than the previous day. Breha’s children were celebrating with their respective nuclear families or with in-laws. Only the out-of-town guests — Ben’s family, Luke, and Jaina — were at the house Christmas morning. Ben couldn’t look at his uncle or girlfriend without hearing phantom echoes of last night’s obscene auditory torture. 

The opening of gifts went mostly as expected. He got the regular boring items from his parents, like clothes and shoes. He finally had to make eye contact with Luke to thank him for the electric razor, holding his tongue when his uncle made a dig about how he’d eventually get enough facial hair to need it. Rey insisted he open her gift last, waiting until he had already unboxed the fancy gaming mouse from Breha to excitedly pass over a tube containing a large mousepad with Aphelios and Alune from League of Legends on it. Apparently, she did actually listen when he talked about the game and the champions.  

Luke’s gift to Rey was extremely in character: an autographed first edition of his book The Polar Trench. Breha gave her a butterfly necklace, something Leia had undoubtedly picked out. 

Ben was proud of his gift for Rey: items she could use to decorate her bedroom and truly make it her own. The first package, a string of colored LED lights and a floral wall tapestry, had admittedly been lifted from a teen influencer’s gift guide on YouTube, but the second part was all his own. He had even talked to his father to make it happen, which was all worth it when Rey tore the paper off the last box to reveal a circular collage frame. 

He had only filled in four of the nine frames, taking his mother’s recommendation to fill the rest with patterned paper for Rey to fill later. The one in the upper left was of him and Rey on the back porch at the Labor Day cookout. Below it was a photo Leia had taken of Rey working with Han on the Falcon in the first few days after she had arrived at their home, her hair still pulled back in three stacked buns. In the upper-right was a photo of Leia and Rey on the dock at the lake from the summer.

The last picture had been the most difficult to acquire, a photo of a dark-haired woman holding up a chubby-cheeked toddler his father assured him was Rey. 

“How did you get this?” Rey whispered reverentially as she traced the photo through the clear plastic. 

Ben blushed. “Dad helped.” 

Rey looked up at Han for confirmation. He nodded solemnly. 

“Why am I not in it? Don’t I deserve to be on the wall?” Luke directed his complaint to Ben. “I know you have photos of me.” 

Ben frowned, getting ready to tell his uncle that he didn’t think it made sense to include a photo of an old blowhard like him alongside pictures of Rey’s real family, but Breha spoke first. 

“It’s photos of people with Rey, dear. We’ll take some later today. Then she’ll have one of you two together she can use.” She extended her hand out towards Rey. “May I take a look, dear? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a photo of your mother.” Rey nodded numbly, passing the frame up to Breha on the couch. 

She turned back to Ben with a closed-lip smile, tears and adoration in her eyes. 

*****

“You and Rey seem to have developed a strong connection.” Ben was keeping Breha company in the breakfast nook as she drank her tea. Han had tuned the TV to TBS’s marathon of A Christmas Story, and unlike Rey, Ben had declined to join him. 

“Yeah.” Ben nodded, smiling softly. “We get along well.”

Breha returned his smile, bringing the teacup to her lips. “I’m glad. Sibling relationships can be tricky.” She dipped her chin in the direction of the dining room, where Leia and Luke were having what looked like an intimate chat, no doubt taking advantage of Jaina’s absence. 

“I remember when the two of them came to live with me after Padme died. Initially, they fought with each other constantly. A way to work through their grief, probably. But they grew closer for it too. They’ve always been fiercely protective of each other.” She chuckled. “Luke gave your father a hell of a time when she first brought him home.” 

“Really?” Ben hadn’t realized the undercurrent of animosity between his father and uncle extended so far back. 

“Oh my, yes. Luke chased away plenty of your mother’s suitors when they were in high school. But your father wouldn’t be cowed.” She set her cup down in its saucer, looking at him directly and taking on a more serious tone. 

“I hope you know that your father does really love your mother.” Ben didn’t respond, continuing to fidget with the Advent wreath in the center of the table. 

“And he loves you too. Very much. I’ve known him for near twenty years. Regardless of what may have happened with Rey’s mother in the past, he is a good man.”

Ben begrudgingly shrugged to show his aunt he wasn’t ignoring her. He wasn’t mad at his father about Qi’ra anymore. As offended as he had been on behalf of his mother, at least it had brought him Rey. And his mother had seen fit to not resent her husband for it. At least not openly. 

“Parents aren’t perfect, Ben,” Breha continued to sermonize. “One day, if you’re lucky enough, you’ll get to be a father too, and you’ll understand that your parents are simply doing the best they can. They’re just human.”

Ben hummed noncommittally. Breha pushed back her chair and stood. “Come on, you can help me get lunch ready.”

*****

After lunch, Breha suggested they take some family portraits. This was not a Christmas tradition; everyone knew it was clearly meant to placate Luke after his morning complaints. Ben was mainly bothered by it because his mother insisted they put on their dress clothes from the prior night, excited by the opportunity to have a ‘nice’ posed photo of the whole family. 

Breha took charge, making sure all relevant combinations were covered. Ben and Rey were a little awkward together, cautiously not wanting to show any incriminating affection, leading Leia to instruct him to put his arm around her, telling them to ‘make it look like you like each other.’ Fortunately, she made no such plea when Breha swapped out Rey for an inexplicable uncle/nephew pic. 

Luke’s smile looked genuine with his sister, his arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind, a pose Ben had seen before in a photo of them as teenagers that hung on the hallway wall. The expression was notable in contrast to the forced smile Luke put on when he and Jaina cuddled in front of the tree.  Ben wasn’t sure how to interpret Luke’s expression for Rey but noticed his arm was slinked around her waist the exact same way it had been around his girlfriend’s a moment earlier. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of my parents together.” Rey’s voice was low, meant only for him. He turned away from where Leia and Han were posing, a pretty facade of normality. 

She smiled sadly. “I’m sure they exist, but they were never displayed.” She nodded to the living room wall,  covered in framed photos of the Organa family. “Not like this.” 

“You could ask Dad. He must have photos somewhere — he had the one of you and your mom.” 

The corner of Rey’s lips twitched upward. “Maybe.” She shook her head dismissively.  “But it wouldn’t feel right to put it up on my wall. Not in Leia’s home.”

“At college, then.”

Rey nodded slowly, face pensive. “When I have my own home, I want a wall like this. All the photos I have of my family, of my mother.”

Ben pulled a face, but Rey wasn’t looking at him and didn’t notice. He had never really cared for the cluttered collection of family portraits. It had grown over his lifetime, expanding with weddings and children. In what had once started as the array’s center was a black-and-white photo of a young Breha in a sleeved wedding gown beside her late husband. Spiraling outward were headshots of her children with shaggy haircuts and awkward family vacation photos that bled into across time as the distance from the center grew, like rings in a tree. 

“Checking out how good I looked in my grunge phase, huh?” 

Ben flinched at the surprise of hearing his uncle’s voice. Luke pushed between him and Rey, pulling Jaina behind. He tapped on a black frame of himself with long hair in a torn-up striped sweater.  

“Nice, huh?”

“Your hair was so blond!” Jaina squealed. Ben rolled his eyes. 

“Bleached. Really went for the Cobain look.” Luke grinned, oddly proud. 

Jaina giggled, reaching out to twirl a lock of his hair. “I thought you were a natural blond!”

“I am." Luke batted her hand away playfully. Ben curled his lip, the exchange uncomfortably intimate to watch. “My hair darkened as I got older,  just like my father’s.” 

“Are your parents on this wall, Luke?” Rey asked abruptly. “I haven’t seen photos of them yet.” 

Luke stilled at her question, his flirtations with Jaina dropped. “Er, maybe. I’m not sure — Breha’s adding new pictures all the time.”

“What are you looking for, dear?” Ben was impressed at how well she could hear conversations when she wanted for a woman in her eighties. 

“Rey was asking if there were photos of mom’s parents on the wall,” said Ben at the same time Luke answered: “Nothing.”

Breha frowned slightly as she stood, moving to a section a few feet away from where Luke stood. “There’s a picture of Padme over here at my wedding. And one in the hall from when we were children. In a brass frame, near the one of you in the bath.” 

Ben felt his cheeks warm; he hated that picture, the one his hair matted down and ears on full display, but his mother insisted it was one of her favorites. 

“What about your father?” Rey asked, looking past Breha to where Leia stood with Han. 

“No.” Breha’s voice was resolute, her face in a hardened expression he had never seen before on his kind aunt. “He lost his place on the wall years ago.” 

Rey opened her mouth, but Han spoke quicker. “That’s the takeaway. Never root for the Yankees, or you’ll be disowned.” He jostled the arm he had around his wife’s shoulders. “Right, Leia?”

Leia exhaled sharply, rolling her eyes and looking adoringly back at her husband. “Right,” she said slowly. “Good thing you’ve always been more of a football fan.” 

“Ugh, baseball is so boring. It’s such an old-people’s game.” Jaina looked over her shoulder at Luke. “You don’t like it, do it?” 

Luke pulled a face, shaking his head in shared disgust, making her laugh. 

Ben wondered if anyone else noticed that Breha’s frown simply deepened. 

*****

“Rey, you mentioned you had a good time at the cabin last summer.” Luke’s statement was a non-sequitur from the adults’ conversation about a Tom Hanks film. 

Rey’s head snapped up from her dinner plate. “Uh, yes.”

“I was thinking you should come up and visit again this summer. When I’ll actually be there, unlike last time.” Ben suppressed a groan; the only thing that would make the isolation of the lake house worse was being stuck there with his uncle. 

“Han and I will have to work, Luke.” Leia gave her brother a false smile. “We don’t all have jobs with the option to work from wherever we want.”

“You could drop them off for the summer. Let them spend it at the lake with me while you and Han have some time for yourselves.” Luke returned her smile in kind. “I’m sure it’d be good for your relationship to have some time alone.”

Leia pursed her lips, glaring.  

“What about me?” whined Jaina petulantly.

Luke patted her on what Ben hoped was her knee. “Of course, you’ll be there, baby.”

“I was thinking Ben and Rey would get jobs this summer.” Han directed this at Luke, but it was Ben’s head that snapped to look at him. His father had never brought that idea up before. “They’re old enough. Start paying for their own gas and saving for college.”

Luke waved a hand dismissively. “Pssh. I can give them jobs. I usually hire someone to type up my writing.” He smiled over at Rey like he was sharing a secret. “I still write longhand. All the best writers do.” 

He winked, turning back to address Han. “Millennials type fast, don’t they? She’ll be perfect.”

Ben rolled his eyes. His uncle was notorious for being a technophobe. He still carried a flip phone. 

“We’ll consider it, Luke.” Leia spoke before her brother could share what job he had dreamed up for Ben. “It’s still some time away.” 

Luke held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. We can talk closer to summer. I’m just saying, I’d be happy to have them.” He looked pointedly at Leia. “I want to be a good uncle, after all.” 

The evening was largely uneventful. Luke disappeared upstairs with Jaina, causing Leia to roll her eyes. Ben and Rey decided strategically to join the others in the living room, happy to have an entire empty story between them and the upstairs bedroom. 

“At least this should be the last time we have to see that Jaina girl,” huffed Leia, handing Breha a mug of tea before sitting down next to her on the couch. 

Rey tilted her head, looking up from the coffee table book on pre-Raphaelite art she had been browsing. “Luke said she’d be at the cabin this summer. Do you mean we aren’t going to go?”

Leia snorted, but Breha was the one to form a diplomatic answer. “Leia just means given Luke’s recent history with women, it’s unlikely he and Jaina will still be together by the summer.” 

“Ben said it’s unusual for Luke to bring anyone around for the holidays, but he brought Jaina. Doesn’t that mean she could be different?” Rey asked.

Breha frowned. “He hasn’t brought anyone around since Mara, that’s true.” She shook her head dismissively. “But Jaina is nothing like Mara.”

“Skinny, brunette, and too young to rent a car? Sounds exactly like Mara to me,” quipped Han, earning him glares from Breha and Leia before he wisely grabbed a gingersnap off the table, stuffing it in his mouth to prevent himself from saying anything else that would get him in trouble. 

“Luke just isn’t one to settle down,” Breha said calmly. “Leia’s the only woman he’s ever been able to tolerate at length.”

“What about Mara?” Ben asked. “I remember her being at several Christmases when I was younger.” Or rather, he remembered the willowy woman in several years’ worth of Christmas photos, but same difference. 

“Mara wanted children,” said Leia, removing the tea bag from her drink. “Luke didn’t.” 

“You also hated her guts,” said Han, this time not cowing to the glare Leia sent his way. He shrugged. “What? You did. You didn’t think she deserved your brother.” 

Leia huffed but didn’t deny the charge. 

*****

Luke and Jaina left after breakfast the next day, their departure dispersing some low-level tension from the house that Ben hadn’t realized existed until it disappeared.  There were a few informal drop-ins  by neighbors and family friends with whom Ben was expected to be social, but the visitor stream had stopped by dinner, allowing them to spend the evening relaxing. 

Rey broke out the book Luke had given her, curling up on the end of the sofa in front of the fireplace while the adults talked around her. Ben half-listened to his parents’ conversation with Breha about a woman named Amilyn while he scrolled on his phone, catching up on League news. 

He barely even noticed when Rey returned from the restroom shortly before eight, murmuring she needed to ask Leia something. He only registered how long she had been gone when he heard the front door open and popped his head up to see her peeling off her winter coat in the entryway, a Walgreens bag swinging from her wrist. 

She shot him a brief smile before jogging up the stairs. No one else commented on her absence or return when she arrived back in the living room a few minutes later, sliding back into the seat next to Han on the couch, a small knowing smile plastered on her face. 

It was only later, just before bed, when he learned where she had gone and why she kept grinning. 

“My period came early,” she explained, digging around in her suitcase while he sat cross-legged on the bed. “I hadn’t packed any pads, and Leia didn’t have any either, so she gave me a ten and sent me down the street to the drugstore to buy some.” 

Ben hummed with disinterest upon hearing the mundane reason for her absence. As there was no reason to fear her being pregnant this month, the arrival of her period hardly warranted celebration. If anything, it would probably just make her cranky and less willing to fool around the rest of break. 

Rey straightened to standing, holding something in her hands with a triumphant grin on her face. “I didn’t think about it until I was already there, so funds were limited. Fortunately, I found a five in my coat pocket.” She tossed a slim black box to him, which he caught easily, turning it over in his hands to recognize the iconic label. 

“I could only afford a twelve pack, but that’s better than nothing, right?” Rey’s eyes were sparkling in delight when he looked back up at her. He dropped the box of condoms on the bed, jumping up to capture her mouth in a kiss. 

“It’s a real-life Christmas miracle.”

*****

>

Chapter Text

The new year was off to a bright start in Ben’s eyes. Per tradition, his family had rung in the holiday at the Wexley’s house. He and Rey had joined the older kids in a game of Ghost in the Graveyard in the woods, the first round of which he mostly spent groping Rey’s tits as he pinned her against an oak tree. He hated that he didn’t get to kiss her properly at midnight, but the hand job she gave him when they were supposed to be looking for the ghost more than made up for it. 

A few days later was the inevitable return to school and classes, but it also meant his parents’ return to work and he and Rey having the house to themselves for two hours every afternoon. 

Which meant they could have sex again. Finally. 

Rey forced them to take it slow, not rushing directly to the main event just because it was an option again. Ben didn’t mind; he liked foreplay with Rey, especially when he knew it would eventually lead to him getting to plunge into her. 

But he did find discover he much preferred not using protection. He didn’t think it necessarily numbed sensation to the degree other guys claimed, but he missed feeling how wet Rey was, the feel of her flesh against his skin. He tried to compensate by slipping as close to her center as she would let him, teasing her folds before she insisted he needed to put a condom on. 

He couldn’t fully articulate why, but he also missed seeing his cum on Rey. It felt so wasteful to contain it in that latex sheath. Its proper place was spread across her breasts or preferably dripping out of her cunt. He didn’t have much need to watch porn now that he was banging Rey nearly daily, but when he did, almost all his search queries contained the word creampie. 

But if the option was fucking Rey with a condom or not fucking Rey, it wasn’t even close. It wasn’t something he intended to stop doing anytime soon. 

But even with Rey’s careful rationing of them, the twelve-pack of condoms didn’t last long. By late January, they were back in the same situation they had been before Christmas. 

“Tallie said Geno buys them off Poe. Maybe we could do that,” said Rey, snuggling against Ben’s side. It had been an entire week since they’d had run out of condoms and had actual sex. As much as Ben liked blowjobs, he didn’t think it was a sustainable solution. Rey certainly didn’t. 

“How is that any better than just purchasing them from the store?” Ben scoffed.

He felt Rey huff into his shoulder. “Poe’s wouldn’t tell Leia.”

“Yeah, but Poe will know I’m buying them.”

Rey made a derisive sound, moving to sit upright on the bed and retrieving her clothes. 

“Well, I guess we just won’t have sex then,” she said, clearly miffed as she tugged on her shirt. 

Ben rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll talk to Poe.” 

*****

Getting Poe alone required less effort than Ben had anticipated. The two were paired as sparring partners to practice takedowns in gym class. 

“So, uh, I heard you sell guys condoms.” Ben kept his voice low, not trusting the ambient noise to keep the conversation private. 

Poe lifted an eyebrow but didn’t hesitate, darting forward on the wrestling mat toward Ben’s right side. Ben dodged, spinning around to face Poe again. 

Poe was concentrated on the gym assignment, focused on Ben’s feet, not his face, as he responded. “I do. Why, you want some?”

“Uh, yeah. Maybe.” Ben blushed, averting his gaze momentarily. That gave Poe the opening he needed to lunge for his chest and knock him down, flat on his back. 

Poe was grinning triumphantly above him, propped up on his hands. “Two bucks a pop. You pay upfront, and I’ll deliver the next day.” He rose, extending his hand down to Ben to help him up. Ben took it, stretching his limbs out before they reset. 

“Who are you going to use them with?” Poe’s voice was casual, but Ben caught the undertone of genuine interest. “I didn’t think you were dating anyone.”

Ben shook his head, lie ready on his tongue. “I’m not. No one yet. I just want to be prepared.”

Poe nodded, dropping back into a crouch for the next round, clearly satisfied with the answer for now. 

The next day, Poe gave him a dubious look when Ben passed him a twenty-dollar bill. He and Rey had debated how many to purchase, but he wasn’t comfortable giving Poe more until he actually delivered. After a moment of awkward silence, the other boy shrugged and simply pocketed the cash. 

Poe’s mode of delivery was to shove a brown paper bag in Ben’s chest on his way out the parking lot the next day. “That cream will take care of your jock itch,” he murmured, in what Ben hoped was a ruse meant to distract Rey, who was walking beside him, from asking what was inside the bag. Ben nodded distractedly while Poe sauntered off and Rey smirked. 

Once they were off school property and away from prying eyes, Rey opened the bag and confirmed Poe had made good on the purchase. They were a different brand than they had bought previously, but they’d work just as well. 

Well, mostly. The sixth condom tore, but he noticed before he came, averting another Rey freakout. Poe seemed nonplussed when he complained. 

“That happens sometimes. But I thought you weren’t using them yet?” 

Ben glared but didn’t say anything. Poe looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before shrugging  dismissively. “Well, two thoughts. If you were using them with someone who could hypothetically get pregnant and you need the morning-after pill, I can’t help you. Mom keeps that stuff behind the counter in the pharmacy section, so I can’t do a dummy transaction to buy it.” 

Poe crossed his arms, examining Ben again, before leaning in closer and lowering his voice. “And if you’re using them with someone who can’t get pregnant, try using lube. I can get you some for ten bucks.”

Ben declined the offer, not wanting to do more business with Poe. But Rey convinced him otherwise when they needed to stock up again a week later. It wasn’t like they had a better option. 

“Sure. Twenty bucks.” Poe’s grin was electric as he leaned against the locker block.

Ben held out a fifty he had socked away from Christmas. The less frequently he had to interact with Poe, the better.

Poe smirked down at the bill but didn’t make any movement to take it. “You only want two?” Seeing Ben’s confused face, he clarified. “Twenty dollars each, Solo.”

Ben scoffed. “Is this some kind of peak pricing for Valentine’s Day?” He folded the bill, placing it in his front pocket. “I can wait.”

Poe shook his head. “Nah. That’s the new permanent price for you. Unless you want to tell me who you are using all of them with.” 

Ben reared back. “That’s none of your business!”

Poe nodded. “I agree. It’s not.” He shrugged. “But I’m curious. Kaydel doesn’t have any idea either. Quite the mystery."

“Well, it’s going to stay a fucking mystery because I’m not going to tell you!” Ben hissed, immediately checking to see if anyone had overheard. As far as he could tell, no one was paying them any mind, involved in their own conversations. 

Poe shrugged, clearly unbothered. “Fine by me. I’m saving up for a new car. I could use the extra cash.” 

“I’m not paying you twenty dollars!” Ben protested. “Two each is already a huge mark-up!”

Poe pushed himself off the lockers. “Suit yourself. You can always just buy them yourself. Nothing is stopping you.” He shrugged. “But if you want them from me, you either tell me who you are with, or you pay twenty.”

*****

If possible, Rey was even less pleased by this development than Ben. 

“God, why is Poe such an ass? Why should he care who you are having sex with?” She was pacing at the foot of his bed. He had stupidly decided to give her a purchase update before they started to fool around; now, he suspected that ship had sailed for the day. 

Ben rolled his eyes. “He’s probably bored. Or Kaydel is rubbing off on him.” 

Rey shook her head angrily, sighing in frustration. “I hate living in a small town like this. Why is everyone always in everyone else’s business.” She flopped down on the bed. “If we were in London, this would be so much simpler. There’d be tons of shops we could go to where people wouldn’t report back to your mom about what we had bought.” She growled. “And people there aren’t so uptight about sex to begin with.”

She rolled over on her stomach, looking over her shoulder at Ben. “Do you know the handouts they gave us in health class don’t even have the clitoris labeled? Vesta spent a full week on fetal heartbeats but only one day on contraception. And that lesson was just about how the only effective method is abstinence since condoms break and birth control pills kill embryos and give women cancer.” 

“Then I guess you going on birth control isn’t a safe option. I don’t want you getting cancer.” Ben laid down next to her. He knew it would have involved a doctor, but at least it had seemed safer than risking broken condoms. 

Rey rolled her eyes. “It’s not true, Ben. It doesn’t cause cancer. Half of sex ed here is just lies.” She sighed. “It’s not an option because I’d have to go through Dad’s insurance, which means he and Leia would know.”

“What about like Planned Parenthood or something?” Ben seemed to recall something on the news about them giving away free birth control. 

Rey shook her head. “Nearest one is a six-hour drive. I looked it up.” 

Ben tilted his head. “We could drive to Cratertown. That’s only a bit more than an hour. They have a pharmacy. Cut Poe out of the equation.”

“Dad gets an alert on his phone if our car goes too far away from the house.” 

“Wait, really?” 

Rey nodded, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yeah. I overheard him telling Chewie about installing the device. For what it’s worth, I think he’s more concerned about us driving safely than monitoring where we’re going.” She smiled weakly. “I guess Dad liked to drag race when he was our age.”

Ben rolled his eyes. He had heard that before, or at least heard his mother alluding to it when she thought Han was driving too fast. 

Rey bit her lip. “What if I ask Poe?” 

Ben shook his head. “He’s not stupid. He’d know you’re asking for me. Worse, what if he connects the dots between us?”  He pursed his lips. “What about Tallie? Or Rose? Can you have one of them get them for you?” 

“Not without telling them why I need them. What about Bodhi or Mitaka?”

“No. Poe would know immediately. And their parents are super strict. They catch more hell than I would if they went to the store.”

“Well fuck.” Rey rolled over, staring up at the ceiling. “What other options do we have? 

“If we want to use condoms? Pay Poe’s ridiculous fee or buy them ourselves and alert my parents that at least one of us is having sex. Or planning to have sex.” 

“I don’t like those options. Your mom doesn’t seem like she’d be chill with either of us buying condoms.” 

Ben grunted his assent and closed his eyes. His mother would be relentless, grilling him until he confessed who he was sleeping with and browbeating him into solemnly pledging to remain abstinent until marriage. There was a reason he had spent so much energy stealthily disposing of used condoms, ferrying them off in bags to dump in the school bins. If Leia had found them, he would never have another moment’s peace under her roof. 

“What if we didn’t?” Rey’s voice was soft and tentative. “Didn’t use condoms, I mean.” 

Ben opened his eyes, tilting his head to the left to catch Rey’s gaze. “Go back to how it was before Christmas? Fool around but not have sex?” He sighed resignedly. “I guess that could work. At least until we find another way to get them.” Who knew when that would be. Easter?

Rey bit her lip. “Vesta talked about natural family planning. Like, I can track my cycle and just not have sex on certain days. And if we pair that with you pulling out…”

Ben blinked, not quite sure he was hearing her correctly. “You’re saying we could still have sex? Even if we don’t have condoms?”

Rey’s shrug was barely perceptible. “Yeah. Unless you think it’s too risky —“ 

“No!” Ben barked, louder than he had intended. He pushed up on his elbow to look at her more directly. “I want to. It will be okay. You do the tracking thing, and we’ll just avoid sex those days like we do when you’re on your period.” 

Rey nodded slowly, a hesitant smile creeping onto her face. “Okay.”

Chapter Text

Their new contraception method was implemented relatively smoothly. Rey downloaded an app that tracked her cycle, and Ben installed a copy on his phone that linked to hers.  They abstained from vaginal sex when she was in a fertilization window, and he pulled out when she wasn’t.

It was heaven. He had missed the feel of Rey’s wet cunt around his cock, the debauched surge of power that came from watching his spend cool on her belly. 

But he wanted more.  He wanted to fill her with his cum, to leave his mark and proof of what they were somewhere she couldn’t just wipe off with a washcloth. 

“I want to finish inside,” Ben said as he thrust into her. The app said her fertile window had closed two days ago. “Let me come inside you.”

Rey groaned. “Ben…. We can’t.”

“We can if you let me.” He thumbed her clit as he rocked into her. “Just say yes.”

Rey moaned, wriggling against his hand and canting her hips up to chase the pressure. “Ben…” 

“It’ll be so hot, Rey.” He sunk in deeper, leaning down nuzzle her neck. “My cum dripping out your pussy.” He pressed a kiss beneath her ear. “I could come right now just thinking about it.” 

Rey let out a whine; Ben could tell from her face that her resolve was wearing. He cupped her breast, teasing the taut nipple. “Please,” he begged. “Please let me come inside.”

“You really like seeing your jizz on my vag?”  Rey asked incredulously. 

“Mmm,” Ben hummed. “I like seeing it everywhere on you, but I love seeing it there.” He snapped his hips in for effect, earning him a soft grunt.

Rey was quiet for a moment, her lips twisted in thought, face uncertain. “You can’t come inside — it’s too dangerous.” Ben sighed. “But you can come on me down there if you want.” 

Ben furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?” He moved his hand from her chest down to the top of her slit. “You mean here?”

Rey nodded, then turned away, face reddening. “Yeah, or like, at the entrance. Like, right outside the door.” 

Ben looked down to marvel at the incredible girl below him. He still couldn’t believe how perfect she was for him. 

Permission granted, Ben began to hammer into her with abandon, spurred on by breathy cries. When he felt his balls start to clench, he withdrew, tracing his cockhead along her seam.

He watched with vulgar fascination as his cum spurted onto her folds, dribbling down on the rim of the opening he had just vacated. When he finished ejaculating, he gathered it with his fingers, lightly tapping it inside her hole. It felt like the proper thing to do. 

The experience wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but it was progress. 

*****

“I already know what I’m getting you, but is there anything you really want for your birthday?” Ben had warned her to only have one drink at Kaydel’s party, but the rising and falling rhythm of Rey’s voice made him suspect she had not listened. 

Ben took his eyes off the road to glance over at her in the passenger seat.  “If you already know what you’re getting me, why are you asking?” He frowned. “Did Mom put you up to this? Because I already told her what she could buy.” 

“No.” Rey weaved her head, more than shook it. “I’m asking because I want to know.” She toed off her shoes, kicking them against the front of the footwell. “She got you headphones, by the way.” Rey leaned over the center console, arms propped on the armrest, torso twisted towards him. “So, tell me: what do you really want? If you could have anything?” 

Ben could see her mischievous grin out of the corner of his eye, illuminated by the dashboard lights as she stroked his thigh.  He smirked. “Well, I can think of one thing I want.” Rey raised an eyebrow, face still coquettish. “I want to come inside you again.” 

Rey withdrew, retreating back to her side of the car, face pained. “Ben, no.” 

“Why not? The app says it’s safe.” 

“It’s too risky.” 

“It’s not, though. Just the once.” He gave her knee a tight squeeze. “Please? For my birthday? You did ask what I wanted.”

Rey swatted his hand away. “I thought you were going to ask for me to blow you!”

Ben scrunched his face in confusion as he made a right turn. “But you blow me all time.”

“I meant now, in the car. You know, road head?” Rey’s arms were crossed. 

Oh. Oh!

Ben bit his lip. “Is that option still on the table?”

Rey rolled her eyes dramatically but moved the seat belt’s shoulder strap behind her. 

*****

“Thanks, Mom.” Ben set the unwrapped noise-canceling headphones on the table.  “Now maybe you’ll believe me when I tell you I didn’t hear you say something.” 

His mother laughed, shaking her head in mock exasperation as she compulsively gathered some stray scraps of the balloon-patterned paper that had wandered to her placemat. 

His father snorted before tipping back his beer. “Good luck with that one, kid.” 

His birthday was going surprisingly well. Perhaps out of guilt from the essential nonobservance that occurred the year prior, his mother had actually made a hot breakfast before school: chocolate chip pancakes. 

Despite being the model of innocent behavior at school, Rey had tempted him all day, wearing the low-cut shirt she knew he liked, her hair pulled into a high ponytail. It was a forbidden day according to the app, so proper birthday sex would have to wait, but that hadn’t stopped Rey from attacking him as soon as they entered the house, sucking him off in the foyer like her life depended on it. When she rose from her knees, there had been a wicked and triumphant smirk on her face. 

“My turn!” Rey handed him a flat, floppy gift, about the size of a composition notebook. It had the same crooked edges that were usually the hallmark of his father’s wrapping, a decided contrast to his mother’s sharp, measured lines. 

It was light. Suspiciously light. He looked over at Rey, but she was gazing at him expectantly with unbridled excitement in her eyes. 

He tore off the paper, revealing a plain manila folder. 

“Open it!” 

Ben did, revealing a charcoal sketch of his parents. The postures and hairstyles matched a photo that Han kept out in the garage from a vacation to Florida. 

“You drew this?”

“Uh-huh.” Rey nodded excitedly. “Mr. Bridger has been helping me with my shading.” 

Ben lifted the paper up to get a closer look and noticed there was another underneath, this one of him and Rey — the inspiration a selfie she had insisted they take during one of their movie marathons. 

“I know it doesn't have a nice frame like your Christmas gift to me, but it’s a start. They’re kind of an odd size, and I wanted to do more sketches, but drawing them took longer —“

“Rey, they’re perfect.” He turned to face her; Rey was beaming at him, eyes locked tenderly with his own. 

“Do we get to see these magnificent works of art, or are you going to keep them to yourself?” Ben startled, turning back toward the table and wordlessly passing the folder to his father as conversation resumed. 

He felt the back of Rey’s fingers graze his beneath the table.

*****

“One more gift.” Rey tilted her head toward her room as they reached the top of the stairs. 

“You’re not going to blow me while Mom and Dad are downstairs, are you?” Ben said quietly, following her into the room. “Because that would be hot.”

Rey rolled her eyes, clearly trying to mask her amusement as she motioned for him to sit on the bed. While he was reasonably confident that they’d hear anyone on the stairs and be able to right themselves before discovery as long as they stayed mostly clothed, they both knew that was not a risk they were going to take. 

“Here, the second part of your gift.” Rey handed him another manila folder she had retrieved from a pile on her desk, this one differentiated with a purple marker strike on the tab. 

Inside the folder was a sketch of a woman’s bare torso. Her tits and silhouette looked familiar. 

“This you?” Rey nodded shyly, sitting down on the bed next to him. 

“Yeah. We don’t do nudes in class, but Mr. Bridger lent me a book on forms that I’ve been studying. I have a notebook full of boobs.” She swatted his arm playfully when he smirked. “Not of mine. Just practice sketches. They don’t look anywhere as good as that one.”

“Well, yeah. Of course this one looks the best; they’re your tits. They always look amazing.” Rey smiled softly at him.  

She straightened, extending her hand out for the folder. “Unless you have a good hiding place for it, I was thinking we could just keep the folder here, with the rest of my drawings.” She winked. “Maybe I’ll add more self-portraits to it as I practice different anatomy parts.”

Ben gave a last quick once-over of the shaded charcoal nipples before relinquishing the folder. “I eagerly await the results of your next drawing practice on the human form.” 

Rey grinned smugly as she placed the folder in the middle drawer of her desk.  She turned to face him, leaning back and crossing her arms. “And what if I decide to practice noses next?” 

“You have a cute nose. But I was thinking lower.”

“Feet?”

Ben chuckled, standing and walking to stand immediately in front of her, crowding her body with his. “More around here.” 

“Ah…” Rey whispered in artificial surprise as his fingers grazed between her legs. “You know, I could use some practice with the male form if you wanted to pose for me sometime.” 

“Is that what you want for your birthday?” Ben matched her low purrs. “To draw my cock?”

Rey smirked impishly. “That depends. Do I only get one present?”

“If they involve us being naked, you can have as many as you want.” 

She laughed heartily, pushing him away. 

*****

Ben nipped along the curve of Rey’s necked as her back arched against him. His right hand kneaded her breast while his other wrapped around her waist, holding her back firmly against his chest as he pumped inside her. 

Rey was panting in sync with his strokes, little moaned whimpers escaping each time he rocked forward. 

“That’s it,” he purred. “You like when I take charge? Like when I remind you who is in control?”

Rey let out a strangled noise, turning her head to the side to bury it in the pillow.

“You see how I own your body?” Ben wrestled her hand upward from where she was rubbing her clit, splaying it flat across her lower abdomen. “Do you feel that? Feel the way your body belongs to me? The way it stretches to take me?”

Rey groaned, thrashing against him. He had come immediately the first time he had realized that he could feel himself through the skin of Rey’s belly. It was now an obsession of his to press down and marvel at how her stomach swelled with each thrust. 

“You gonna come on my cock, Rey?” Ben snapped his hips forward brutally, savoring the choked cry Rey made. “What would you do if I came with you while I’m inside? If I soaked your cunt with my cum?” He brushed his lips over her ear. “You like me taking what I want, don’t you?” 

“Mmm,” Rey moaned desperately. “Come inside.” 

Ben stilled, unsure if she was returning the dirty talk or actually granting permission. Rey glanced back at him nervously. 

“Are you sure?”

Rey bit her lip. “The app said it’s okay, right?” Ben nodded dumbly. “Then yeah. You can come inside if you want.”

Ben took a beat to acknowledge it was real, his dick twitching at the thought.

He twisted her roughly, capturing her mouth with his in a brutal kiss as he ground into her.

“I’m going to fill you up so good,” he panted into her ear. “Gonna fucking breed you.” Rey moaned as she rolled her onto her stomach. 

“You like that, do you? Like the idea of my cum inside you, of me claiming you?” Rey muttered something incoherent and ragged. He lifted to his knees and pulled her hips up to follow. 

“Think about how hot it will be leaking out of you, how it will cover your insides.” He felt her clench as he hammered savagely. 

“Imagine if it takes,” he whispered, leaning over her back and pumping more languidly.  “If the seed takes root and your belly swells with my child.”

“Ben!” Rey wailed, her body quaking beneath him as she met her peak. One of her hands clamped down on top of his against the mattress. 

“Oh fuck, fuck,” Ben cursed as he sprayed inside her. He held her tightly as their breathing slowed, his body still draped over her back. 

Rey wriggled backward as he softened. He withdrew slowly, leaving a creamy white mess in his wake. 

It was the hottest thing he had ever seen. The feeling of control and ownership that accompanied spilling inside him gave him even more pleasure than the actual physical sensation. 

Best birthday ever. 

*****

When Rey’s period came as scheduled, it gave them a boost of confidence in the app’s reliability. Although Rey initially claimed she had meant coming inside to be a one-time thing for Ben’s birthday, he was able to wear her down. Sex was still forbidden during her fertile window, and he had to pull out during the two buffer days on either side, but he was otherwise soon cleared to come inside the rest of the month. 

Surprisingly, Ben quickly discovered that Rey seemed to enjoy it as much as he did. Despite her caution regarding contraception, she egged him on, telling him to fill her up and about how much she wanted his cum. He could feel how wet and aroused she became when he talked about knocking her up and how pretty she’d look with a round belly and swollen tits; a hint of an ultimate ownership claim on her body. 

He would have loved to somehow extend the sentiment of ownership into her birthday gift — a necklace, or ring, something that declared she was his —but for propriety’s sake he simply gave her some art supplies she had said she wanted. 

Rey’s birthday also brought gifts from Luke and a renewed invitation to spend the summer at his cabin. Ben’s gift, already a month late, was a Visa gift card. In comparison, Luke had sent Rey signed copies of the last three books in the Red Squadron quadrilogy to complement the first one he had given at Christmas. 

All gifts were overshadowed by the unassuming envelope Han slipped Rey after dessert that contained a flight confirmation for two tickets to London the week after school ended. Rey squealed in delight, running around the table to embrace her father.

Ben was less enthused when he learned Rey and Han would be going, leaving him home alone with his mother. He got headphones for his birthday; Rey got a European vacation. 

“Why don’t mom and I get to go? I’ve never been to London.”

Han sighed. “It’s not for sightseeing. Just a quick trip to visit the Calrissians before summer starts since we didn’t make it at Christmas like I had promised.” 

Ben frowned at his father’s explanation, looking to his mother for an ally. She avoided his eyes, looking down at the tabletop. 

“It would be nice to have them there,” said Rey. “Show them where I grew up.” 

“Not this time, kid. Maybe we’ll do a bigger trip after graduation next year.” Ben shook his head at his father’s words; he didn’t believe for a second they would ever come to pass. 

*****

“Well, I hope you at least will have a good time in London,” Ben grumbled as he set the massive stack of Luke’s books on Rey’s desk. 

“I’m sorry you don’t get to go.” Rey wrung her hands anxiously, standing at the foot of her bed. “I’m not sure why; I’m guessing something with Mum that Dad didn’t want to get into at the table.” 

Ben shrugged. “It’s okay. Not your fault. I just want to spend the whole summer with you, not have you an ocean away.” 

Rey smiled gently. “It’s only one week. You’ll spend it playing games online with Bodhi and won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Oh, I’ll notice.” Ben sauntered over to her. “It’s a lot less satisfying to jerk off in the shower than it is to fuck you.” 

Rey grinned, biting her lip bashfully as she blushed. “We’ll be together the rest of the summer. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to get your rocks off.”

Ben sighed. “Are you still set on us going up to the lake?”

The household was split on Luke’s offer regarding the cabin. Han was clearly against it, maintaining, as he had at Christmas, that he thought the teens should get summer jobs. Ben agreed with him to a point; he also didn’t want to go to the cabin, with its spotty cell reception and lack of entertainment options. But he was also not particularly keen on spending his summer working at McDonald’s, or worse, his father’s garage. 

On the other side, Leia argued that Luke would benefit from their company and pointed out that he had offered to employ them, so it wasn’t like they’d be loafing around all summer. Ben suspected she also wouldn’t mind having an extended period alone with Han to focus on their marriage, which was perhaps why his father was so against them being away. 

Rey was the wildcard. Ben had caught her sketching scenes from the lake multiple times the past few months. He knew she had fonder memories of it than he did. 

“It was fun last summer!” Rey insisted, contrary to Ben’s recollection. “Just think, we can spend the whole summer alone together!”

“We can spend it together here too.” Ben frowned, resisting the urge to cross his arms and pout. “But here we won’t have to be around Luke.” 

Rey rolled her eyes.  “It won’t be that bad. No way he’s as strict as Leia. We could sleep in, and I bet we wouldn’t have a curfew.”

Ben scoffed. “Oh. Good. We can stay out as late as we want, hit all those clubs my mom wouldn’t let us go to last summer.” 

She smacked Ben gently on his upper arm. “Didn’t you like all the time we spent on the lake together last year?”

“Of course I did, Rey. But I like the idea of being with you here, where we have air conditioning and internet, a hell of a lot more than being trapped with Luke in a small cabin.” He captured a hand of hers in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.  “Besides, how will we have any privacy if Luke’s in the cabin all day?” 

“He won’t be inside all the time. He told me that he likes to write in nature and go for swims in the lake.” She stepped closer, nearly bumping into his chest as she inclined her chin near his ear, dropping her voice to a whisper. “We’ll get to share a room there. Spend every night together. You can send me off to breakfast in the morning with your cum running down my thighs…” 

Ben growled hungrily, pulling her flush against him as he ground his erection against her clothed stomach. 

Rey raised a finger to his face, placing it vertically against his lips as she grinned provocatively. “Patience, my love. Does that mean you agree we should go to the lake this summer?”

Ben looked at her intently, brown eyes beating into hazel. Without warning, he suddenly snapped his jaw open, sucking her finger inside. Rey closed her eyes, smiling, knowing she had won in more than one way. 

Chapter Text

Leia spent a few weekends dragging them to college visits, but after Rey’s birthday, their lives largely settled into a comfortable and familiar routine.  They carpooled to and from school together but were mostly in separate orbits during the day. After school was their time to explore and enjoy being with each other without fear of discovery. They were often able to sneak in some bonding time after dinner as well, even if it was just doing homework together or watching something stupid in the basement. 

Being with Rey was easy. If his parents were fighting, he didn’t have to explain to Rey why he wasn’t in the mood to talk — she already knew. Likewise, he could tell when Rey wanted her space and to be left alone with her sketchbook and when she actually wanted company and to talk about something bothering her.  

It was a blissfully uncomplicated existence, full of sex and few disagreements. 

Until prom season started. 

*****

Rey was tapping her fingers anxiously against the car door. Ben was confident it didn’t have anything to do with them; her period had come two days ago, so there was no chance she was worried about pregnancy, and they had had an epic makeout session in the basement last night after a deep heart-to-heart. Their relationship was golden as far as he could see. Maybe she was concerned about the SAT next week.

She didn’t keep him in suspense long. “Beau Kin asked me to prom today.”

Ben hadn’t been suspecting that. He gripped the steering wheel tighter, trying to keep his voice even. “What did you say?” 

“That I’d have to ask my dad, that I wasn’t sure if I’d be allowed to go or not.” He could hear the hesitation in her voice. 

“Well, tell him you’re not,” Ben replied bluntly. 

“Why?” Rey snapped back, irritated. “It’s not like the two of us can go together.”

Ben huffed. “Yeah, but it’s not like we have to go at all. Neither of us went to Homecoming.”

Rey didn’t answer. He glanced over at the passenger seat. Her arms were crossed, head turned away from him, looking out the side window. 

“Maybe we should date other people.” Her voice was low and unguarded, soft enough that Ben thought — hoped— that maybe he had imagined it.

“What? Do you not want to be together anymore?” Ben hated how desperate and pathetic he sounded. 

“Ben! Of course I do!” She placed a hand comfortingly on his leg, smiling adoringly. “I just mean…if we went on a few dates with other people, it might stop all the questions from people like Kaydel.”

Ben frowned. “Has Kaydel been giving you a hard time about not dating?”

Rey shook her head, withdrawing her hand. “No. Well, not exactly. She hasn’t been bothering me about dating. But she’s been asking a lot about you. She knows you bought condoms off Poe, so she’s been paying close attention, trying to figure out who you’re hooking up with.”

“Fucking Kaydel,” Ben muttered. “And fucking Poe too. Why can’t they mind their own business?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” moaned Rey. “Everyone in this town is in everyone else’s business about everything! Even Rose and Tallie have been trying to set me up!”

“Oh?” Ben was proud of himself for not saying what he was thinking aloud, which involved more cursing.

“Yeah. Rose really wants another couple to go on double dates with.” She shrugged. “Tallie just thinks I need to get laid.”

Ben exchanged a brief glance with Rey before they both burst out laughing. Rey shook her head amusedly. “God, if she only knew.”

After the chuckling died down, he noticed Rey shifting in her seat. “But she can’t know,” she said more solemnly. “No one can. That’s why I think it would be good if maybe we went on a few dates with people. You know, act like normal teens, so no one suspects anything.”

Ben shook his head. “I don’t want to date anyone else.” And I don’t want you to either. 

“It wouldn’t be real dating, just going out with people.” She turned toward him. “Don’t your friends ever ask about who you like or want to date?”

Ben shook his head. “Nah, we mostly just talk about school and League.”

“Hmm.” Rey shifted in her seat. “What if we just do prom? One night — that’s all.” Rey was using the same voice she used to convince their father that they really did need to stop for ice cream on the drive home. 

“Think about it. Practically all the upperclassmen go to prom. It would be weird if we didn’t. Dad’s already asked me if I’m going, and Leia has mentioned taking me to Cratertown for dress shopping.”

Ben sighed, knowing he had lost. “You really want to do this then, huh?” 

Rey shrugged. “I mean, I think it makes sense to, yeah.”

“Fine.” He gripped the wheel tighter. “But I’m not going to prom with Kaydel.”

Rey laughed. “Wasn’t expecting you to.” He could see her smiling in his periphery. “Tallie and Geno broke up. She’ll definitely say yes if you ask her.” 

Tallie — that was good — Ben could tolerate Tallie. “Alright. I’ll ask her tomorrow. And you’ll go with Beau?”

Rey nodded, shooting him a devious look. “Just wait, Ben. When we’re at the lake, neither of us will have to explain why we aren’t going out on dates or hanging out with friends. You’ll have me all to yourself.”

*****

Ben would never admit it aloud to Rey, but he had fun at prom. Tallie was phenomenally easy to get along with, even cajoling him onto the dance floor several times and dismissing his concerns about being uncoordinated. Based on the gleeful enjoyment in her eyes during the upbeat songs when they danced in a throng, it seemed Rey was having a good time too. 

During slow dances, he tried his best to be polite and stay focused on Tallie, but his eyes kept straying over across the room to where Rey was swaying with Beau. Ben frowned as she threw her head back, laughing at something her date said.

Tallie glanced over her shoulder, following his line of sight. “You keep looking at Beau and Rey — is everything okay?”

Ben’s eyes snapped back to Tallie. She looked genuinely concerned. 

“Oh, um, yeah.” Ben cleared his throat. “My dad just told me to keep an eye out for her tonight. Just making sure Beau’s being a gentleman.” 

Han’s wording had been more direct: make sure that scoundrel doesn’t take advantage of your sister.

Tallie laughed, her eyes sparkling with mirth. “Please, Beau? He’s not the type to cop a feel on the dance floor.  I bet they don’t do more than kiss tonight.”

Ben twisted his lip, eyes straying back over to Rey again. He didn’t want Beau kissing her. He didn’t like the way they looked so comfortable with each other, with Beau’s hands on her hips, her arms slung around his shoulders, like all the other couples. They weren’t a couple. Rey was with him. They were — 

 Tallie smacked him gently on the back of his neck, reclaiming his attention. 

“Calm down, Ben. It’s normal teenage stuff. They aren’t even dating. Rey already told me she isn’t going to sleep with him.” Tallie smirked, grinning up at him mischievously. “I, however, made no such promises. If you’re interested, I am all about the rebound. I’d love for the last person I banged to not be Geno.”

Ben looked down at her in surprise. He had been so focused on Beau’s potential encroachment upon Rey that he hadn’t considered that Tallie would possibly be expecting physical intimacy from her date as well. 

It was odd, really. A year ago, he thought Tallie was out of his league and definitely would have dated her without hesitation. He would have jumped at the chance to kiss her and bartered away his firstborn to have sex with her. But now… 

He still thought she was attractive. Pretty face, objectively nice body and tits. They got along well, his parents liked her, and she clearly was interested in him.

But Tallie wasn’t Rey. He wasn’t with Rey because there were no other options. He was with Rey because she was the only option for him. Rey blew every positive attribute of Tallie’s out of the water.

“You don’t have to look so scandalized.” Tallie rolled her eyes playfully. “I know you know I had sex with Geno. And I know you’ve had sex before too.” She shrugged. “It’s okay — I’m not saying we date or anything, but we can still —“

“How do you know I’ve had sex?” Did she suspect something? 

“You bought condoms from Poe. Why would you do that if you weren’t having sex?” 

“They, uh, were for a friend.” Ben’s lie came out quickly. Tallie looked at him dubiously. 

“Uh-huh. Well, like I said, I’m up for it if you or your friend is interested.”

*****

The rest of the official dance passed by uneventfully. Their group had plans to spend the night at the house of Rose’s date, with sleeping areas segregated by gender under the watchful eye of Millicent Hux. Ben would have preferred just to drive home and sleep in his own bed, maybe get in a bit of League before turning in, but apparently hanging out after prom and sneaking some booze was an expected ritual of the event. 

It didn’t take long for Ben to realize why Hux’s home had been selected: his father was away on business, and his mother had already taken her nightly sleeping pill before they arrived. 

“She’ll be dead to the world until the morning. As long as the girls are upstairs and we’re in the basement by the time she wakes up, we can do whatever we want.” Hux lifted a decanter of amber liquid off the drink cart, swinging it gleefully.  Like the rest of them, Ben had already removed his jacket and tie but was waiting until the girls vacated the upstairs to finish changing out of his formalwear. 

“I have some wine coolers and beer in the basement, but while the girls are upstairs changing, I thought us men could kick things off with some of my dad’s cognac.” He removed the stopper, flinging his arm in an unnecessarily broad swoop. “Not like the girls would appreciate it anyway.”

Ben watched with disinterest as Hux took a large swig directly from the container. He hadn’t really cared for hard liquor the few times he had tried it. Hux made a face as he swallowed, wiping his lips with the back of his hand as he passed the bottle to Beau. 

Beau accepted it gingerly, hesitant. “Won’t your dad notice?”

Hux waved him off. “Nah, not a chance. If anything, he’ll just think my mom drank it.” 

Beau still looked uncertain but gave a sharp nod, taking a short sip and looking like he immediately regretted it, coughing a bit as he passed the brandy to Ben. 

The glass had just touched his lips when Rose crashed through the doorway.  She was barefoot, her hair pulled back in a casual ponytail; she was still wearing her sequined dress. 

“Rey’s sick!”

Ben dropped the decanter roughly on the table, not caring if it broke. “What happened?”

“I don’t know! We were just talking and getting changed, then Rey started clutching her stomach and ran into the bathroom.”

“I’ll go check on her.” Beau was already walking to the stairs. 

“She said she wants Ben.” Beau turned back to look at them, face scrunched.

Had Rey really asked for him by name? It pleased Ben to think she wanted him  — and only him — but he worried about lack of subtlety. 

Rose shifted her weight uneasily. “I mean, she said she wants Ben to take her home.”

“Right.” Ben nodded, striding past Beau, intent on reaching Rey. He could hear the others’ footsteps trailing behind him. 

He found her sitting on the bathroom floor, her ruffled skirt spread around her like icing from a melted cupcake. Tallie was next to her, rubbing her back. They both offered him weak smiles as he entered. 

“Are you okay?” He crouched down next to her, pushing the back of his hand against her forehead, just like his mother had done to him when he was sick as a child. At least she didn’t seem to have a fever.

“I just want to go home." Rey’s voice tore into him plaintively.  

Ben nodded quickly. “Of course. Can you walk? I can carry you if you —“

“I can walk. I just need to go home.” Ben and Tallie helped her stand. Just as he noticed she was barefoot, Rose appeared with a pair of flats and Rey’s overnight bag. 

Beau reached out to take the bag. “I can take her. She’s my date, after all.”

Ben snatched the bag with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around Rey’s waist. “No. I’ll take her.” He could immediately tell his delivery had been too harsh from the way Beau winced. “I mean, my dad might kill you if you bring Rey back looking like this.”

“It’s not like she’s drunk. She just has a stomach bug.” Hux motioned behind Ben. “Besides, you have Tallie.”

Right. Tallie. Ben had entirely forgotten about that obligation. She was still on the other side of Rey, supporting her. Though it seemed to be primarily moral support, as Rey didn’t seem particularly unstable. 

Tallie smiled understandingly back at Ben. “It’s okay. Take Rey home.  I’m sure Beau will be a prince and drive me home in the morning, won’t you, Beau?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess I can, but wouldn’t it make more sense —“

“It’s fine, Beau. You’ll have more fun without me. No need to ruin your prom night too.” Rey shot him a small smile before tilting her head to face Ben. “Let’s get going — I don’t want to vomit in the car.” 

Tallie and Rose helped Rey settle comfortably in the back seat as he threw his bag alongside Rey’s in the trunk. As he drove away, they waved; the girls looking mildly concerned and worried for Rey, the boys looking like they were annoyed at the entire episode.

Shortly after he turned on to the first main road, Rey sat up, leaning forward to poke her head between the front seats. 

“Can we drive through McDonald’s? All that dancing made me hungry.” 

Ben rolled his eyes. “You just vomited. I hardly think fast food is a good idea right now.” 

“No, I didn’t. I just pretended I was sick so we could leave.” Ben’s snapped his head back. She shrugged innocently. “Watch the road!” 

Ben growled, returning his focus to driving and flexing his fingers against the steering wheel. “So you aren’t sick?” 

“Nope! Just hungry. Can we get a large fry? And nuggets?” 

“I was worried about you! Why did you lie about being sick?” He briefly caught her eyes in the rearview mirror before changing lanes. 

“I just didn’t want to be there anymore.” 

Ben scrunched his face. “You were the one that wanted to go there in the first place. Prom was entirely your idea.” 

 “Well, it was a bad one.” Rey sulked down in her seat. “You were right.”

“I usually am.” Rey rolled her eyes. “So why did you pretend to be sick?”

“I wanted to leave, and it was the first idea that popped into my head.”

“You could have just said you wanted to go home. You didn’t have to fake an illness.”

Rey shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it? And I didn’t have to explain why I wanted to go home.”

Ben twisted his lip. “Why did you want to leave? You seemed to be having a good time before we got to Hux’s.”

Rey ignored his question, turning to stare out the window as they drove down the main thoroughfare, finally smiling a few minutes later when he turned into the restaurant. 

A few minutes later, she was less thrilled when he successfully guarded the paper bag between his thighs, thwarting her attempts to steal it. 

“Ben! Come on! It was my idea to get food!” He again successfully swatted her hand away.

“I’ll admit, it was a good idea.” He grinned back at her. “Especially since we aren’t eating at Hux’s like we had planned.” He popped a fry in his mouth. “So why aren’t we? Why did you want to leave?”

Rey huffed. “If I tell you, will you give me my fries?”

“If you tell me, I’ll give you some of my fries.”

“Ugh. Fine. It was Tallie. I wanted to leave because of Tallie.” Her hand reached forward, palm outstretched. Ben ignored it. 

“What was wrong with Tallie? She’s your friend. You hang out all the time.”

“Yes, well, she doesn’t usually talk about how she plans to fuck my brother.” Ben was so disarmed by how brusquely she spoke he didn’t even attempt to stop her when she snatched the paper bag and absconded with it to the backseat. He really only registered that she had succeeded by the cooling of his legs, the absence of the unpleasant heat seeping through his pants. 

“You know I wasn’t going to sleep with her, right?” He tried to catch her eyes in the mirror, but she waved him off, stuffing a trio of fries into her mouth.

They drove in silence. She didn’t comment, but by the way she straightened when she realized he had passed the turnoff for their neighborhood, he knew he had her attention. Mercifully the lot to the park was just as empty and dark as he had hoped. 

Rey slid over and pulled her feet up onto the bench seat as he opened the car door to sit beside her. She eyed him cautiously, keeping the brown bag close to her chest as she continued to eat, clearly intent on not sharing. 

“You know you didn’t have to worry. Even if Tallie offered, I wasn’t going to have sex with her.” 

Rey nodded gently as she finished swallowing. “I know. But Tallie can be persuasive.” Then she added, quietly: “Plus, she’s beautiful.”

“Rey, you’re beautiful.” 

She blushed, lowering her eyes. They were playful when she raised them a few seconds later. “If you’re saying that because you want some of my fries, you’re too late. They’re all gone.”  Rey smiled triumphantly as she crushed the bag and tossed it toward the front seat. 

Ben shook his head at her nonsense, smiling inwardly. “Rey, I’m saying it because it’s true. I kept looking at you all night. I was jealous that Beau got to dance with you, but I didn’t.” He scooted closer. “Tallie caught me looking over at you so much she thought I was worried Beau was going to put the moves on you.”

Rey laughed, her eyes sparkling with warmth. Ben lifted his hands in mock defensiveness. “I know, I know. But I was worried he might try to kiss you.”

“I wouldn’t have let him.” She was still smiling, but her delivery was serious. 

“That’s good. I probably would’ve messed up my mouse-hand punching him if he tried.” 

Rey reached over to take his hand as her laughter tapered off. “I didn’t want you kissing Tallie either,” she said softly. “I was afraid she’d come on strong, and you’d play along as part of the cover.” She shifted her position, settling beside him. “Rose was talking about how she and Hux were going to hook up tonight, and then Tallie mentioned she wanted to sleep with you — I panicked. 

Ben rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, continuing to listen as she spoke. “I couldn’t stand the idea of you being with her. Faking being sick was the first thing that came to my mind.”

“You’re a good actress; I was worried about you.”

Rey’s face turned remorseful. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Ben threaded his right arm over her shoulder, pulling her in for a side hug. “It’s okay. I understand.” He grinned mischievously, making a show of looking around the car. “Besides, I think nailing my date in the backseat of a car is a much better after-prom tradition than drinking at Hux’s.”

“Ben!” Rey mocked being scandalized, but the look in her eyes betrayed her interest. Ben leaned over to start nibbling at her neck. 

“What? Do you really think I haven’t imagined fucking you in this dress since I saw you come down the stairs tonight?”

Rey swatted at him playfully. “You’re incorrigible.”

Ben shook his head, continuing to kiss along her jawline. “Nah, just incredibly horny for you.”

His mouth captured hers, and she moaned into him. His hand quickly made its way to her chest, enjoying how the low neckline made it easy to access her breasts.  Rey squealed in delight a few minutes later when he pulled her into his lap and tugged the bodice down. 

“Don’t tear it!”

Ben would have loved nothing more than to give in to his animalistic instinct and rend the fabric apart but behaved. It would have been complicated to conceal a torn prom gown from Leia. 

The tableau that Rey’s exposed tits were creating in the dim light, with her dark, pebbled nipples above smashed down white fabric, was stirring something in Ben. They usually had the privacy of an empty house to get naked, but he found something intoxicating about a partially clothed Rey. Something debauched and illicit. 

Rey moaned as he ran his hand up her thigh, firmly stroking the gusset of her panties. They felt damp and warm like they could barely contain the pulsing heat of her center. He tugged them aside, tracing a finger against her folds, surprised at how slick with arousal they were. 

“You like this, don’t you?” He nuzzled into her neck, tauntingly. “Like the idea of getting fucked by your prom date in the back of his car?”

Rey huffed. "Our car. And I’m not your date.” 

“You should have been. And it might as well be my car; you never drive it. You always make me chauffeur you around.” Ben began to rub the top of her slit, enjoying the accompanying sharp intake of breath. 

“You like driving me around.” Rey ground down against his hand, seeking out friction. “You like being in charge.”

“You’re right. I do.“ Ben smirked, retracting his hand from beneath her skirts to wrap both of his arms around her torso. He laid her down against the bench seat, her legs tangled up near his chest. He pushed her skirts up — so many layers of tulle — sloppily flipping them up onto her chest.

Rey twisted up to her elbows, punching down some of the inverted fabric.  “The zipper’s in the back. Help me sit up, and we can get it off.”

“No.”

“No?” Rey’s right eyebrow shot up, her pupils wide. 

“No, I’m going to fuck you in this dress.” He hooked his fingers over the hem of her panties, pulling them down her legs. He pushed her knees apart, lowering a hand to open her lips and expose her glistening cunt. She squirmed against him. 

“Gonna fuck you like this, your little pink pussy in a sea of white.” He gave a firm tap at the top, causing Rey to whimper.

Rey watched, breathing heavily, as he undid his fly and shoved the elastic of his briefs below his balls. He settled over her, pushing her head and chest back to the seat. He batted tulle away from his face as he propped himself up with one hand, using the other to guide himself to her entrance. Rey was soaked; it took only a few strokes before he bottomed out.  

“There will be so many photos from tonight online and around school.” Ben rutted deep as he purred into her ear. “Every time you see a pic of yourself in this dress, I want you to think of right now, of me fucking you in it.” He thrust in again to accentuate his words. 

“Ben!” Rey’s moan was somewhere between a gasp and a prayer. She brought her hands up to grasp his upper arms, her fingertips digging through his dress shirt.

“You like that, huh? You need to wear dresses and skirts more often.” Ben smoothed his hand down her thigh, pulling her leg higher to sit above his waist. “I want to be able to just bend you over a table and take you whenever I want.” 

Rey squirmed, tilting her pelvis up, breath hitching when he rocked into her at the right angle. “Don’t bring anything other than sundresses to the cabin this summer. I want easy access. Got it?” Rey nodded rapidly, arching her back as Ben massaged her breast. 

“And don’t bother bringing underwear either. Anytime we aren’t in the same room as Luke, I’m going to have you on riding my cock, you understand?” Rey was panting erratically now, her nods small enough to be mistaken for involuntary twitches. “Gonna spend the entire summer stuffing you full of my cum. Every morning, every night, I —“

Rey threw her head back, letting out a guttural groan so sensuous that hearing it tipped Ben over the edge as well. He could feel her cunt contract around him, milking his cock as he spilled inside her. 

It took several minutes for their breathing to normal. The air in the car felt thick and suffocating, the netted fabric between them scratchy against his skin. 

Ben was the first to shake off the afterglow, attempting to keep Rey’s hips at a slant as he pulled out carefully, trying to keep potential leakage inside. He awkwardly tugged her panties up one-handed, smiling as he finally settled them in place. 

He grinned down at Rey, giving her covered core a pat. “To protect your dress,” he said,  preemptively cutting off any discussion on why he came inside on a shoulder day. 

Chapter Text

The rest of the school year passed without incident. The second Saturday in June, Rey and Han departed on their trip, leaving Ben at home with Leia.  

It felt odd to get updates on her life digitally. Their lives were usually so entwined that he was always well-aware of what she was up to long before she posted it to her Story. But now he was subsisting on the dregs she posted on Instagram. They messaged, but he was better talking in person than online. 

When he woke Tuesday to pics of Rey smiling giddily holding up candy brands he didn’t recognize in a grocery store, he was struck with a pit of longing in his gut. In a moment of desperation, he sent off a text with that sentiment. 

He was heartened by the immediacy of her response, offering to call him before she went to sleep that night. Ben breathed easier. She still cared for him. She was still his. 

“Ben! How are things at home?”

Ben snorted, laying down on his bed, stomach full from dinner. “Oh, you know, boring as always.”

Rey chuckled; Ben felt his lips turn up involuntarily at the sound. 

“I’m sorry it’s been so boring. I really wish you had been allowed to come. I feel a bit guilty for having so much fun when you’re stuck at home.” 

Ben settled back against his pillow. “I wish I was there too. Not so much in England, but with you.” He breathed deeply. “I miss you.” 

“I miss you too, Ben.” Rey’s voice was softer and earnest. He could envision the sweet smile she was likely making and the way that, if they had been together,  her eyes would have looked up at him, wide and vulnerable. 

There was a moment of silence, but neither of them found it needed to be filled. 

“So you’re having a good time?” Ben finally asked, eager to hear her voice again. “I saw the photos you sent this morning; what the hell is a Lion bar?” 

Rey granted him another one of her melodious laughs. “I think you’d like them; they’ve got caramel and a bit of crunch. I’ll bring one back for you. I’m more a fan of pear drops myself.”

“Are you actually eating any real food or just candy?” 

“I’m eating plenty!” Ben could hear the smile in her voice. “I had tikka masala takeaway for lunch today just like a real Brit.” 

“Mmm. Gross.” 

“Ben, just because you don’t like curry doesn’t mean it’s gross. I’ve been eating so much — I thought I was going to be sick after breakfast yesterday. Finn was home to visit, so Elthree made a big fry-up.”  She sighed wistfully. “Worth it.” 

Ben heard the sound of rustling fabric through the phone, and he imagined her snuggling under a blanket. “That reminds me, I told Finn we were going to Luke’s cabin this summer. He’s really excited about the new book — something about a prophecy finally being fulfilled. I haven’t read the new series, only the old one Luke sent.” 

“Still more than me.”

“Ha, yeah. Anyway, he’s really excited about me working for Luke. I think he’s hoping I’ll give him spoilers or something.” She paused, and Ben could feel the silence. “He mentioned that there were some rumors online about the Skywalker family.” 

Ben frowned, shifting on the bed. “What kind of rumors?” 

“Dark ones. Finn couldn’t remember the specifics, so I started to look and fell down a rabbit hole on a few fan boards.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially.  “Do you think your grandparents could have been murdered?”

Ben felt ice run down his spine. “What?” 

“It’s just a fan theory. Some guy on the forum claimed to have attended a signing at a bookstore in Boston before Luke got famous. He said Luke told the audience he got the inspiration for the villain’s backstory in Desert Jewel from his own family’s dark past.” He could hear her moving around, almost like she was turning to face him for a transatlantic version of pillow talk. 

“There’s no record of it or anything. Just this one guy’s memory. No one on the forum could find Luke referencing it in any other interviews. If he ever did again, it was lost to time. You still there?” 

Ben grunted. 

“Someone did post a screenshot in the thread of an old newspaper article about a murder case in Illinois with the name Skywalker, but people in the forum aren’t convinced since they know Luke’s legal name is Organa, and they think he grew up in Boston.” 

“What did the article say?” Ben croaked, the churning sensation in his gut intensifying.  

“ It’s just a short blurb — I’ll send it to you. It’s probably nothing; it’s not even your grandmother’s name. I just thought it was interesting how deep fans get into conspiracy theories. There are essays on how Red Squadron is a metaphor for the Iraq war.”

They talked a bit longer, with Rey telling Ben how she planned to check out the National Gallery the next day and hang out with some of her former schoolmates. Ben was only able to half-listen, preoccupied with the information she had uncovered. 

“I’m going to go to bed now — I’ve been really tired this whole trip.” She yawned. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Rey.” 

*****

Second Murder Charge in Skywalker Case 

Espa — District Attorney Stenir has announced his intent to file an additional charge of murder against Obadiah Kenobi. Kenobi had previously been charged with aggravated assault against the victim, Anakin Skywalker, who succumbed to his injuries on Thursday. Kenobi and Skywalker were involved in an altercation at the latter’s home on July 20 th that resulted in the death of Skywalker’s wife, Amidala, with whose murder Kenobi has also been charged. Kenobi is in county jail awaiting trial. 

*****

Ben was numb after reading the article. Unlike Rey, he knew that his grandmother’s legal name was Amidala; Padme was just a family pet name.  He could feel it in his bones that the article was about his family; though sparse, the details fit. 

He checked the time on his phone; not even nine yet. He stomped downstairs, finding his mother right where he expected her, curled up in the living room with a Jodi Picault novel. He was unable to conceal his agitation, fists clenched at his side as he rounded the couch to stand in her line of vision. 

Before he even began to speak, she hurriedly set her book aside, her face scrunched in concern. 

“Oh, honey, what’s the matter?” 

“What happened to your parents?” He flexed his fingers, trying to appear calm.

Leia frowned, tilting her head. “What do you mean?” 

“I know they died, and that’s why you went to live with Aunt Breha,” Ben choked out shakily. “But how did they die?” 

Leia’s lips hardened into a line. “Why are you asking?”

“We’re they murdered?” Ben hated the way his voice cracked.

Leia paled. “Where did you hear that?” 

“Does it matter? Were they?” 

His mother held his gaze, visibly swallowing before nodding slowly. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

She wriggled on the couch like she couldn’t find a comfortable position. “It’s not really an appropriate story for children, honey.”

“I’m not a child!” Ben snapped with more sharpness than he intended. 

Leia closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “No, you’re not.” 

“So what happened? Why were they killed?”

His mother faced him directly, eyes beating into his. “The details aren’t important, Ben. Knowing them won’t make my parents’ deaths any less senseless.”

“Just tell me! I still want to know!” Ben insisted, nearly stomping his foot in frustration. 

“Well, it’s not something I want to discuss!” 

Ben took a small step back; he was surprised by his mother’s sharp response. His dad was the one who yelled;  she rarely lost her cool. 

Leia’s expression softened. She looked remorseful over her small outburst. Picking her novel off the couch, she stood, offering Ben a gentle, sad smile. 

“I’m going to head to bed. I packed up some of tonight’s leftovers to take to work tomorrow, but the rest are in the fridge; you’re welcome to have them for lunch. Just soak the pan after.” She gave him a quick squeeze as she walked past, wishing him a good night. 

*****

Ben sighed as he entered his room. His mother had admitted her parents were murdered, but he still wanted more detail, to know exactly what had happened. He knew his mother well enough to know he would get no more answers out of her.

Had it been a robbery gone wrong? Had his grandfather owed someone money? Were they killed so they wouldn’t testify in a trial? Those kind of details mattered. 

If his mother wouldn’t tell him, he’d just have to figure it out on his own. 

Google failed him. 

Luke’s name dominated the search results for ‘Skywalker.’ Excluding Luke and trying his grandparents’ names yielded four irrelevant links. Searching Kenobi was equally unfruitful. Despite the midwest apparently being littered with Kenobis, there were no mentions of any Obadiahs past 1980. He couldn’t even find the original site that the article posted on the forum was from. 

Out of desperation, Ben decided to read the Wikipedia page for Desert Jewel to see if it offered any clues to his grandparents’ fate.  According to the site, the book begins with an adventure-seeking farm boy hearing a prophecy about himself and the title jewel from his neighbor, an old wizard.  After his visit with the wizard, the protagonist returns to the family homestead to find it (and his parents) burned, kicking off the main quest storyline. A quick scan of the rest of the plot section informed Ben that the villain is later revealed to have been the one to have murdered the hero’s parents. 

Had Ben’s grandparents been killed in a fire? Could that have been what Luke alluded to when he said his family’s past inspired the book? Maybe Kenobi had set fire to their home?

Ben wiped his face sleepily before shutting down his computer; he would get no more answers tonight. He’d tell Rey what they found, and perhaps she’d have some ideas of how to investigate further. Who knew — maybe she’d be able to charm some information out of Luke when they were at the lake. 

Chapter Text

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ben thought Rey looked like she might puke, which would be a pitch-perfect way to kick off their summer with Luke. 

She nodded unconvincingly. “Yeah, I’m just not good on planes.” 

“At least it’s a shorter flight compared to London. We’ll be there soon.” Ben reached over, catching her hand in his. Rey nodded, taking a few deep breaths and closing her eyes. 

Ben scrolled through his phone with his free hand, debating whether to listen to music or watch some of the free streaming entertainment from the airline. 

“Did you know the first time I was ever on a plane was when Dad brought me here?” 

Ben lowered his phone, looking over at Rey. Her eyes were still closed, her face tense with concentration, resting against the plane window. “I was scared then. Not so much of flying, but of everything. My entire world was turning upside down. “ 

She cracked open her right eye to see if he was listening and looked relieved when she saw he was. 

“You’ve never really talked about it.”

Rey smiled glumly. “Well, yeah, it’s not a subject I like talking about.” She took a deep breath. “Visiting London last week brought it all up again.”

Ben frowned, rubbing his thumb comfortingly against the back of her hand. “Why didn’t you say anything? You sounded like you were having a great time on the phone.” 

Rey shrugged weakly. “I was…mostly. Being back at the Calrissians was hard. I stayed with them after my mum died.”

Ben squeezed her hand, wishing they weren’t in such awkward plane seats so he could move to properly embrace her. 

“Do you want to tell me about it?” 

“Not really. It was a pretty shitty time.” She squirmed a bit, rotating to face him, hand still grasped in his as she slumped against the window. “Elthree was the one who told me about the accident — she came over to the flat while I was doing schoolwork. They didn’t know much yet, just that she had been taken to hospital.” 

Ben nodded softly, encouraging her to continue. 

“Elthree took me back to their home to wait. Lando had gone to hospital after my mum. We all waited up to hear from him. I can still smell the lavender tea Elthree brewed.” 

Rey sniffed, wiping her nose. “It was late — just before midnight — when he called. I remember watching Elthree’s face change — I knew what that meant before she even said anything.”

Rey looked down at their entwined hands, breaking the intense eye contact. Ben followed her gaze; it was uncomfortable to see her in such pain. 

“What happened then,” he prompted gently. 

“It was terrible,” she whispered. “Thank god for Elthree. She was mourning too — she and mum were best friends — but she stayed up and held me in bed as I cried.” 

Ben squeezed Rey’s hand tighter as his entire body clenched at her words. The image of Rey bawling into her pillow supercharged his need to comfort her. 

 “Come over here.” He tugged on her arm. Her lip trembled slightly, but she allowed him to pull her upright and settle his arm around her.  “You don’t have to say anymore.” 

Rey shook her head against his shoulder. “No, I want to. It helps to talk about it.” 

“Okay.” Ben nuzzled the top of her head, kissing it lightly. 

“I talked to Dad a few hours later. Really early, like two a.m. Lando was home and talking to Elthree when he called.” She sniffled. “He told me that he was coming to get me and that everything would be okay. I didn’t know what he meant.”

Ben rubbed his arm soothingly along Rey’s bicep. “Did he tell you about us?”

Rey snorted. "No. I thought he meant that he’d move to London or something. Of course, that was never going to happen.” Rey snuggled closer to him. “He kept the focus on my mum until after the funeral. Looking back, I can see he was avoiding the topic.” 

“So when did he tell you about us and moving here?”

“The day after the funeral. We all went over to our flat. Elthree and I were going through Mum’s things, and Dad pulled me into my bedroom to talk.” 

She cleared her throat. “He told me I should focus on packing my things, so I asked where we were going to live. He got this really pained expression on his face — you know the one he gets when he’s afraid to tell Leia something she doesn’t want to hear?” Rey tilted her head up at Ben. 

Ben nodded. “Yeah, you mean this one?” He mimicked their father’s grimace.

“Yes! Exactly. I knew that meant something bad was coming. Then he confessed everything. About how the reason I never visited him in the states was he was married and had another kid at home. That my mum had known about them, but you didn’t know about us.” 

Rey shook her head ruefully. “I couldn’t believe he had kept that from me, like he thought he could keep it a secret forever. We talked at least once a week! He had never said anything that made me suspect he was anything other than a bachelor. I was so mad at him.”  

Ben nodded, recalling a similar experience when his father had shared Rey’s existence with him. 

“I said I wasn’t going to go. I begged Elthree to let me live with them, but she told me I had to go, that even if I was angry with Dad then, it would be for the best.” Rey sat upright against the seat, forcing Ben to move his arm off her shoulders. “She told me your mom was nice, that they had attended each other’s weddings and been friendly before they had kids.”

Rey looked over at him shyly, hands resting in her lap. “I was so scared. Scared of going to a new country, to a new school. Scared of living with Dad and his hidden family…” 

She grabbed his left hand in both of hers. “It was different this time, flying from London. The first time I didn’t know what to expect. All I had was Dad, and he was taking me away from everything I knew. But the time there was you.” She smiled up at him adoringly. “I was coming home to you.” 

*****

Luke was meant to pick them up from the airport, but he wasn’t there when they landed — or an hour after. The asshole also wasn’t answering his phone. 

He had insisted that they fly into the dinky regional airport because it would be a shorter drive for him, but that plan had been predicated on him actually showing up. With only one gate and a parking lot roughly the same size as the one at their high school, it wasn’t like they could have missed each other.

They set up shop in the seating area of the lone cafe, which inconveniently closed at four-thirty in the afternoon. Rey called Han after the second hour of waiting, unsure about what they should do. 

“He’s trying to figure out if he can book a hotel for us and have us check in on our own,” Rey explained, tilting the bottom of her phone up and away from her mouth. “Have you seen signs anywhere for taxis? I only see the rental car counters.” 

Ben shook his head. They weren’t even at the cabin yet, and his concerns about spending their summer with Luke were already being proved right. 

“No, no one is at the airline counter, but there is a security guard near the center.” Rey was kneeling on her chair, phone attached to the side of her head as she swiveled to better survey the area. “Yeah, I can go ask — hang on.” 

Rey was climbing off her seat when Ben saw her eyes narrow at something over his shoulder. He followed her eyes and saw a familiar figure in a navy baseball cap loping toward the airport’s entrance. 

“He’s here, Dad.” She clenched her jaw as she leaned into the hallway. “No, I mean Luke. Yes, I’ll tell him. I love you too.” Rey slid the phone into her jeans pocket as she waved her arm overhead. 

Luke appeared around the corner a minute later. “Ah, you’re already here! Plane get in early?” 

“No,” snarled Ben. “The plane was on time: you’re late. We’ve been waiting here for two hours.” 

Luke tilted his head. “Huh. I thought you were on the 5 o’clock.”

“We were," growled Ben lowly as he began to gather his things. 

Luke looked thoughtful a moment before breaking into a knowing smile. “I think I know what happened. You two were on the flight that arrived at five, not the one that departed at five.“

Ben opened his mouth to retort, but Rey interjected before he got words out. 

“Well, we’re here now and ready to go to the cabin!” Rey smiled brightly at Luke. 

Luke returned her grin, muttering something about needing to greet them properly and swooping in to hug Rey. He did not attempt the same with his nephew. 

Ten minutes later, they were squashed together on the bench of Luke’s ancient truck, their luggage thrown in the open bed. Ben didn’t understand why his uncle was driving the piece of junk; he certainly had enough money to buy a vehicle that wasn’t rusted out. 

“Tight fit, I know, but she handles roads beautifully in the winter.” Ben rolled his eyes. Luke would be the type of guy who referred to a truck with feminine pronouns. 

“It’s fine,” Rey assured him. “I don’t take up much room.” Ben didn’t see why Rey felt the need to mollify Luke; even with her small hips, her legs were pressed along the lengths of his and Luke’s thighs.

Luke was surprisingly talkative, asking them about the flight and how the end of the school year had gone. He talked to Rey about the London trip and made some joke that went over Ben’s head about dating an Essex girl when he was younger. 

“Now I promised your parents that I’d put you to work this summer, so it won’t be all fun and games like last summer.” Ben rolled his eyes at the scenery outside his window. Last summer had been tolerable at best. 

“There’s works that needs doing, but I’m not going to keep you locked indoors all summer. We’ll just let old Han think I’m a harsher taskmaster than I really am.” Ben watched him nudge Rey playfully as he winked. “What he and Leia don’t know can’t hurt ‘em, right?”

Rey smirked, smiling along.  “Yeah, and you’re not going to be as strict as them about us using our phones this summer, are you?”

“Nah.” Luke shook his head dismissively. “Though you should know I got rid of the wi-fi. Bastards tried to up the price on me. I told them I’d lived at the cabin before the internet existed, and I wasn’t afraid of doing it again.” He smacked the rim of the steering wheel for emphasis. “Wish I would have done it sooner: without a compulsion to check the web constantly, I’ve upped my daily output by two pages.” 

Luke sighed dramatically. “They still got their pound of flesh though; I had to pay them to keep the landline. Too risky to be completely cut off, and you know the place is a dead zone.”

Rey exchanged a meaningful glance with Ben, whose expression was a mixture of irritation and pessimistic smug triumph. They both knew from experience how unreliable the cell service was at the lake; they had depended on the wi-fi the few hours each week they had phone access, and even then, it had been slow. 

“Like I was saying, I’m going to give you two a lot of freedom this summer. You’re practically adults, so I’m not going to treat you like children. The upstairs is yours; I’m not going to be going upstairs to make sure you made your bed or your clothes put away — the stairs are too steep for me to bother.” 

That was welcome news. The promise of a private, permanently Luke-free area that he could share with Rey immediately gave Ben some vulgar ideas. 

“One thing to remember, though, is to announce when you’re coming downstairs, particularly in the morning. I sleep in the nude.” Ben’s face scrunched in disgust as Luke shrugged. “I’m not a nudist, but I’m also not used to sharing the place with someone I’m not fucking.”

Ben could not contain an audible groan, tilting his head to the side to rest against the passenger’s side window. 

“Hey now,” Luke scolded lightheartedly. “I said I’d treat you like adults, and it’s no secret that adults have sex lives.” He huffed. “Hell, you probably have sex lives, despite what my sister thinks.”

Ben wondered if Luke noticed how he and Rey both momentarily froze like an animal caught in headlights. 

“Speaking of, um, that, will Jaina be at the cabin?” Rey was wringing her hands in her lap. 

Luke laughed heartedly. “Ha, no! We broke up back in February — compatibility issues. She was always dragging me out to nightclubs when I was trying to write. No respect for the craft.” Luke switched lanes without signaling.

“That’s too bad.” Rey’s tone indicated that she didn’t actually think it was that great a tragedy. 

“Probably best that I’m not with anyone right now anyway. I’ll get more writing done, and it will give a chance for us to get to know each other better, right?” Luke squeezed Rey’s knee playfully. 

Ben watched the way his hand lingered. 

“I’m happy you decided to come up this summer. It’ll be nice to have guests.” He squeezed her knee again before moving his hand back to the steering wheel. “Family is always the best type of company.”

Chapter Text

They arrived at the cabin after dark. Luke’s claim about never entering the upstairs appeared to be true; it looked exactly as they had left it the previous summer, just covered in a fine coating of dust. 

“We could unbunk them,” said Rey, running her hand along the corner post of the bed frame. “Put them side-by-side to make a full-size.”

Ben nodded, crouched on the floor as he rummaged in his duffel. “Yeah, that could work.” He looked around the room thoughtfully. “Won’t leave us much space.”

Rey batted her eyelashes, tilting her head down slightly. “Is that a problem?”

“Nope.” Ben smirked, rising to stand. “Though we should probably wait until tomorrow. It’s been a long day.”

Rey sighed but nodded in agreement.  “Think we can both fit in a twin for one night?”

Ben was unable to suppress his grin. “Oh, definitely.”

******

Luke finally got around to telling them about their jobs at breakfast. Rey was to be his assistant, typing up his writing and notes, keeping track of correspondence from his editor and agent, and completing any other secretarial work that came up. 

“It’ll be harder than it sounds,” warned Luke. “You’ll have to learn how to read my chicken scratch and make sure I don’t kill any characters because I’ve run out of coffee.”

He shook his mug in the air for emphasis, looking pointedly at Rey, who smiled complacently. 

Luke maintained his direct gaze, raising an eyebrow expectantly. 

“Oh! You mean now?” 

“Please.” Rey jumped up out of her seat, rushing over to the kitchen. Luke turned towards his nephew.  

“Now, Ben. While Rey is assisting me with writing, I’ll depend on you to make sure everything else is running smoothly. Running errands into town to pick up groceries, stopping at the post office, you get it. I’ll give you money and a list.” 

Ben nodded. That wasn’t as bad as he had expected. He didn’t mind driving, and it would mean he’d actually be able to use his phone. 

“I also have some yard work and cleaning that needs doing,” Luke continued. “I have a list.” He passed Ben a folded piece of lined paper. The page was filled top to bottom with chores ranging from trimming shrubbery to resealing the dock. 

Ben pressed his lips into a thin line. That was the type of drudgery he had expected from his asshole uncle. 

Ben looked up from the paper. Rey was standing next to Luke, refilling the blue mug he held aloft from a glass carafe. Luke was watching Rey carefully, offering her an approving smile and a pat on the lower back when she finished pouring. 

“You’re a natural. I’ll teach you how I like it to be made later today.”

He took a sip of the fresh coffee. “I assume between the two of you, meals will get made and the cabin cleaned. I usually do a bit of writing in the morning, then take a swim before lunch. I tend to hit my stride in the evening after dinner — some of my best work’s come during the witching hour.” 

Ben made eye contact with Rey, wondering if she now realized that they had essentially volunteered to be Luke’s servants for the summer by coming here. 

“What about pay?” Ben asked brusquely. “You are planning to pay us, right?”

“Of course. I promised you jobs — what’s a job without pay?” Luke relaxed back against his chair, taking another sip of his coffee as Rey returned to her seat beside Ben. 

“I gave it some thought. You won’t be working regular hours, clocking in and out, so I had a hard time estimating an hourly wage. Plus, there’s the fact that I paid for your flights and am providing your room and board, so that has to be accounted for.” 

Ben felt his jaw clench; Luke was going to rationalize his way into them owing him money. 

“Technically, as an employer, I should be withholding social security and medicare taxes, but I thought if I just paid you in a single sum at the end of summer, we could pass it off as a gift and keep the government out of our business.” 

“How much, Luke?” Ben asked in a low growl. 

His uncle looked unbothered by his tone, gaze up and to the left, his lips twisted in thought. “For the whole eight weeks? I was thinking three-thousand.” 

“Total? Like for both of us?” Rey asked in disbelief. Ben agreed with her sentiment; he knew Bodhi had made just over twenty-five hundred before taxes working at the hardware store the previous summer for min wage. 

“Yes,” answered Luke sternly, crossing his arms. “Three thousand for each of you. I think that’s more than fair when you take into account all that I’m providing.”

“Yes, very fair. Thank you, Luke.” Rey nodded gratefully, nudging Ben with her foot. 

“Yes, thank you.” 

“Like I said, it will be harder than it sounds.” He shrugged.  “You’ll definitely earn it.” 

******

Their work began just after breakfast. Luke declared that he was forgoing his morning writing session and heading to the lake early due to the late start. He suggested they start by straightening up the kitchen and taking an inventory of cleaning supplies and food so they’d know what needed to be picked up in town. 

It was clear that Luke didn’t do much cleaning on his own. There were a variety of crumbs on the floor, and parts of the countertop were sticky. Rey started hand-washing the breakfast dishes while Ben cleared the counters and put food away. 

“So, you still think this was a better idea than just working in town this summer?” 

Rey rolled her eyes as she filled half the sink with water. “It certainly pays better.” 

“Not sure if you’ll say that after being Luke’s slave for a few weeks. Sounds like it’s going to be a lot of waiting on him hand and foot.” Ben placed the wheat loaf back in the breadbox. 

“It’s not going to be that bad.” 

Ben rattled the bag of coffee near her ear, earning him a glare. “I saw how you leapt up when he told you to refill his cup. You’re always so eager to please.” 

Rey huffed and returned to her washing as Ben placed the bag on the pantry shelf. He moved to stand behind her, looking through the window over her shoulder at the distant figure on the dock doing arm stretches. 

“Think he’s going to ask you to dry him off after his swim?” 

Rey groaned, flicking water at him. “Stop being weird.” 

“Just admit I was right and you were wrong about coming up here.”

Rey snorted, rinsing off a plate. “Uh, no. We haven’t even been here a full day yet.”

“Long enough. I was promised that I’d be getting tons of sex, but we’ve barely even kissed.” Ben pressed his body against Rey’s back, caging her against the sink as he nuzzled her neck. He watched Luke disappear beneath the surface of the lake. 

“Ben,” Rey chided softly as he ground his erection into her lumbar. “We’ll have plenty of time for that later.”

He shrugged, sneaking a hand around to twist her nipple playfully through her shirt. 

“Ow!” 

Ben knew he hadn’t pinched it harder than he usually did but humored her and switched to massaging it lightly for a beat. Rey was ignoring him, seemingly focused on rinsing a clutch of spoons.  

His hand drifted downward, starting to unbutton her shorts. 

“Ben,” she warned. “We’re meant to be cleaning.” 

He hummed into her neck as he pulled her shorts down to mid-thigh. “Keep washing, then.” 

Rey inhaled sharply as his hand slipped into her panties. She whimpered softly as he began to rub her clit, but kept looking forward, dunking a bowl into the sudsy water. 

It didn’t take long for her breathing to become ragged, her hands gripping the edge of the sink. He withdrew his soaked fingers, causing her to moan in protest. 

“You’re supposed to be doing dishes,” he murmured. 

Rey groaned but slowly lowered her hands into the soapy water, lifting out a cereal bowl. 

Behind her, Ben pulled his own shorts down beneath his balls and started to rub his tip against her ass. Rey squirmed against him, seeking contact as she inattentively rinsed off the bowl. 

He dragged the back of her underwear down slowly, then pressed forward, covering his length in her wet folds. Rey wriggled wantonly against him, eager to assist. He teased her a little longer before lining himself up with her entrance. 

He pulled her hips backward to get a good angle, then rammed into her roughly.

“Oh!” Rey cried out, bracing her forearms on the edge of the counter. 

Ben smiled with masculine pride at the debauched domesticity of the scene. Little housewife Rey, taking care of the home while he pounded into her wherever and whenever he saw fit. 

He smirked as he watched his cock bottom out inside of her again. Maybe it would be a good summer after all…

******

Their days fell into a routine. Rey’s spent most of the day side-by-side with Luke, either on the porch or in the cabin’s main room, dependent on his mood. Ben’s chores were primarily outside; the first few days had been spent cleaning out the shed and making a list of what Luke had (and mostly didn’t have) for the projects on his list. He had already been sent to town once to mail something to Luke’s editor and check the P.O. box. 

Evenings were their free time, with Luke settling in for a focused writing session after dinner and his afternoon relaxation period. Ben and Rey had gone out on the lake a few times but had soon begun to precede any swims with a trail walk that got them far enough away from the cabin that Rey could moan as loud as she wanted without fear of discovery. 

It was a good routine. It meant Ben got to start and end the day with his arms wrapped around Rey, and he could mostly avoid his uncle outside of mealtimes. It was a bit like the rhythm of school, except he could pop in earbuds and listen to The Dive while he worked, and there weren’t tests or homework.

It was more complicated when it rained the second week, trapping them all indoors for the duration. Luke declared that it was an excellent opportunity for Ben to tackle some indoor chores, like deep cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms. Ben hadn’t been thrilled but focused on his podcast while he scraped burnt bits off the oven, effectively ignoring the intermittent comments from his uncle.

It wasn’t practical to listen while he scrubbed the bathtub; the noise of the running water drowned out the host’s voices. He set his phone aside so he wouldn’t miss any updates about the ongoing League championship series.

Without the podcast’s constant banter in his ear, Ben became more attuned to the calm quietness of the cabin. The ancient record player near the fireplace was pumping orchestral music throughout, its volume low enough that if he paused his soap scum scrubbing, he could hear Rey’s typing and the subtle shuffling of Luke’s papers. He was getting ready to do the final tub spray down when he heard Rey’s voice. 

“Hey, Luke? Can you take a look at this? I think you used the wrong character name in this section.” Ben heard a chair scrape across the floor and footsteps.

“It’s in the scene here where Gillen is speaking to his ward about her marriage prospects.” 

Luke hummed. “And what’s the problem?”

“Um, her name is Alayne, right?” A grunt from Luke. “Okay, um, good. I wanted to check before I changed it.” 

Ben heard shuffled movements, followed by his uncle’s uncharacteristically tender tone.  “Does typing that make you uncomfortable?”

“Oh, uh, no. The name just tripped me up.” Ben knew Rey well enough to tell based on her voice alone that she most certainly was uncomfortable. He moved toward the door to interrupt them when his uncle’s words stopped him cold. 

“Is it the sex?”

“No, er, not exactly. Just, uh, he’s much older than her, isn’t he?”

Luke hummed in assent. “Yes, but Alayne is smart. She understands that being with him has advantages. Experience comes with age, and he has money and wealth to keep her safe.” A pause. “He’ll take good care of her, you see?”

“Mmm.” Rey was clearly unconvinced. “But Gillen isn’t offering to marry her, just to keep her as his mistress. He still loves Lysa.” One of them sighed. "And he’s her guardian.” 

“They aren’t related. Not by blood. It wouldn’t have been taboo for an older man, even one in a guardian role, to take a woman like her to his bed any more than it would be now. Just two consenting adults, you see?”

“I suppose,” answered Rey slowly. “But wouldn’t it harm her prospects?”

“Nah. Better to be the mistress of a lord than the wife of a pauper. He can provide for her in ways others can’t.” 

“But she loves Rory…” 

Luke huffed. “Well, Rory is going to die in a few chapters, so I think she’ll warm to the idea of being with Gillen very shortly.” 

His tone was becoming combative. Ben couldn’t stand it any longer, striding loudly into the main room.

Luke was hunched over the table, expression sharp as he turned to face Ben. Rey spun around, leaning against the table, papers clutched tightly against her chest. She looked relieved to see him. 

“Bathroom’s clean. Do either of you need to use it before I shower?”

Luke scowled and waved him off, picking up his pen to return to her writing. Rey shook her head, scurrying back to the chair in front of the computer. Ben watched as she flattened the lined papers on the tabletop next to the keyboard and resumed her typing. Within seconds, the calm quietness of the cabin had resumed, the routine restored. 

Chapter Text

Ben looked down at the handwritten list from Luke, thinking for the third time that he really should have rewritten it himself before departing for the store. There was no rhyme or reason to the ordering of the list, with random items like plastic wrap interspersed between lettuce and milk. Ben rolled his eyes at the requested alcohol— did the dumbass really think he’d be able to buy it for him? 

He scanned the list a final time before heading to the checkout to make sure he hadn’t missed anything, sighing when he noticed he had neglected to pick up deodorant for Luke. He steered his cart down the personal care aisle. 

A display of brightly colored boxes caught his eye as he passed, causing him to pause. Having some condoms on hand likely wasn’t a bad idea. It wasn’t like he was going to suggest that they start using them consistently — he wasn’t a masochist. — but it would give them some freedom during the next buffer window. 

Ben looked up and down the aisle. No one knew him from Adam here; he could buy whatever he wanted and have no one be the wiser  — and he could do it on Luke’s dime. He threw a box of Magnums in the cart and headed toward the front. 

Waiting in the queue, Ben idly pulled up the tracking app to see the next time they would even need to consider using condoms — it had to be soon. 

Huh. 

According to the app, Rey hadn’t logged her most recent period.  In fact, no symptoms had been entered since before she left for London. Maybe it was just a syncing issue? 

Despite his attempts to rationalize a benign explanation, he had a sinking feeling in his gut. Palms sweaty, he steered the cart back to the personal care aisle, grabbing Luke’s dumb charcoal-based deodorant off the shelf before stopping in front of a heavily pink section. 

Breathing deeply, he scanned his options, quickly becoming overwhelmed by the selection. After a moment, his fight-or-flight instinct kicked in; he grabbed a two-count box that promised early results and fled to the checkout. 

******

When Ben entered the cabin with the groceries, Rey immediately sprang up from the table. 

“Here, let me help. Is there much more in the truck?” 

Ben glanced down at her stomach as she approached as if expecting to see evidence that hadn’t been there a few hours earlier. He shook his head. “No, this is all of it.” He set the bags on the counter. “Where’s Luke?”

Rey shrugged, rounding the counter. “He went for a walk. Alayne’s giving him trouble again.” 

Ben nodded, barely processing her words as she took a cereal box out of the shopping bag. Thank god they were alone. 

“When was your last period?” Ben hadn’t meant his words to come out so bluntly. 

Rey stilled, the box of Cheerios suspended above the counter, halfway along its path into the cabinet. A few seconds later, she came back to herself, shoving the cereal onto the shelf. 

“I got it while I was in London.” She turned to face him slowly. “Why?”

“You didn’t enter it in the app.”

Rey frowned, twisting her lips in consideration a moment before nodding. “That’s right. It was really light. I remember thinking I’d wait to see if it got heavier before I logged it, but it didn’t, and I forgot.” She shrugged. “Remind me, and I’ll enter it tonight. It won’t sync to yours without internet, but we can at least track on my phone.” 

Ben pressed his lips into a line, uncertainty still gnawing at his gut. “Are you sure it was a period?”

Rey shot him an odd look. “What else would it have been?”

He grimaced. “Implantation bleeding.” 

Rey scrunched her face in confusion. “What? Implantation bleeding — what even is that?” 

Ben pulled his phone out of his front pocket, navigating to the webpage he had saved in his browser’s reading list, the result of some frantic googling in the grocery line and parking lot. He scrolled down to Other Signs and Symptoms of Pregnancy and handed the phone to Rey. 

 “Light spotting? That’s hardly abnormal, Ben. Periods can be lighter due to stress — I barely had one at all the first few months after mum died.” She looked at him dubiously, placing a hand on her hip as she passed him back his phone. 

“Nausea. You talked about how making Luke’s coffee made you want to throw up.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “That’s because Luke drinks fancy coffee from Ethiopia, not Maxwell House.” 

“Fatigue then. You’ve been going to sleep early — you took a nap Tuesday.” 

“It’s summer break. I’m allowed to be lazy.” Rey shrugged, though her voice sounded less confident than before. “It’s not like there’s much else to do here.”

Ben pursed his lips, recalling the symptom he read about that had given him the most pause. “Your tits have been sore.” 

“My tits?” Rey stared at him skeptically. 

Ben nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, they seem more sensitive lately. And they’re, uh, definitely a bit bigger.” 

Rey was quiet for a moment. “That doesn’t prove anything,” she said shakily, looking down at the floor rather than at Ben. “Maybe if my period doesn’t come next week, but we’ve been careful, there’s no reason to suspect…”

“I bought a test.” Rey’s eyes snapped up, looking at him in shock. “Two tests, actually. I mean, I only bought one box, but there are two tests in it.”

“You have a pregnancy test here?” Rey squeaked. 

“Yeah.” Ben nodded. “I thought — I thought we might need it.” He shrugged. “I also bought condoms, I —“

“Where is it?” Her tone had rapidly transformed from meek to demanding. She spun away from him, starting to rifle through the shopping bags. 

“It’s in the glovebox. I didn’t want to bring it in if Luke was around. Do you want me to —“

“Yes! Go, go get it now!” Rey shooed him with large arm movements. 

Ben rushed outside to the truck, retrieving the plastic bag containing the incriminating items.  Rey was still in the kitchen when he got back inside, shoving perishables into the fridge. 

Rey snatched the box from Ben’s hand, grasping it so tightly that the cardboard crinkled. She stared down at the box, breathing deeply. 

“It will be negative,” she murmured softly. Her eyes snapped up to his. “Right?”

Ben twisted his lips. “Only one way to find out.”

Rey chewed her lip nervously and reluctantly nodded her head. “I’ll go, um, yeah.” She pointed vaguely in the direction of the bathroom door before scurrying over and slamming the door shut. 

Ben was bursting with anxious energy, pacing for a moment before unbagging the rest of the purchases as a distraction. He had just finished putting away the pasta sauce when he heard a flush. The wait between that and the door opening while Rey washed her hands seemed infinite. 

“Well?” Rey’s face was unreadable, her arms wrapped around her torso. “What did it say?”

“It takes a few minutes.” Rey was jittery, swaying uneasily from side to side. “Can you come over here, please?”

Her question had been a desperate plea, her eyes teary. Ben bounded around the counter and across the living room. He wrapped her in his arms and tucked her head underneath his chin. As they waited, he rocked her gently, rubbing her back as they stood. 

Rey sniffed a few minutes later, pulling back from his chest. She had left a small wet patch on his shirt. 

“It should be done now.” She wiped her nose with the back of her hand.  “Can you look?” 

Rey was staring beseechingly up at him. Ben gulped before nodding slowly. 

Time felt like it slowed down. He felt more like an observer than a participant as they disentangled, and he walked over to the bathroom door. He could see the white test stick resting on the edge of the sink counter, a royal blue cap on its end. There was a heaviness in his stomach as he approached the sink, gripping its edge as he looked down. 

Two red lines. 

******

“What the hell are we going to do?” Rey was pacing across the carpet in the main room, the test clutched in her fist. 

Ben was still in a daze, watching from the bathroom doorway. Rey was pregnant — with his child. Not might be pregnant but was pregnant. He swept forward, stopping her mid-pace and gathering her in a tight hug. 

“Hey, calm down. It will be okay.” 

Rey growled, struggling out of his embrace. “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down, Ben! You’re not the one who is pregnant!” She brandished the test at him like a weapon, then stomped across the room and dropped down to sit on the sofa’s edge. 

Ben approached her cautiously, sinking down next to her. He wrapped his arms around her carefully, giving her time to brush him off if she wanted. Rey sagged into him, burying her nose into his shoulder, crying softly. 

He simply held her for a moment, rubbing circles into her back. “I’m here for you, Rey. Whatever you want to do, I’m here for you. Always.” 

Rey sniffled, her voice scratchy as she tilted her face up. “Why do you mean, ‘whatever I want to do’?” 

Ben grimaced, wishing this wasn’t a discussion they had to have. “I mean, there are options, right?” He shrugged. “We can see if there is a clinic nearby if that’s what you want.” 

Rey pulled herself back and upright, turning to face him. “Is that what you want?” Rey’s words were delivered slow and deliberate. 

Ben sighed. “Does it matter what I want? I thought being pro-choice was about letting the woman choose.”

Rey pursed her lips, then nodded. “Yeah. But I can still ask what you want.” 

What Ben wanted? His afternoon had been reminiscent of those stressful days after Thanksgiving when they had been waiting for Rey’s period and wrestling with possible futures. He had been relieved no real choice had needed to be made then, but he had thought enough about it to know what was in his heart now that hypotheticals were realities. But it wasn’t up to him. 

“It’s your choice,” Ben repeated slowly. “I’ll support you whatever you decide.”  Rey looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. 

“The idea of having a child now is crazy. We’re young and completely unprepared. The responsible thing to do would be to wait until we’re older.” 

Rey tilted her head. “Older?”

Ben shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, I know we haven’t discussed it, but I thought we’d wait until after college to have kids when we both have jobs and could move somewhere no one knows us, where we could be together in the open.”

Rey stared at him incredulously. “You’ve thought about us having children together?”

“Well, yeah.” Ben reddened, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, worried he’d revealed too much. “I always imagined I’d be a father. Who else would I make a family with besides you?” 

Rey gazed at him thoughtfully, her scrutiny palpable. 

“So that’s what you think we should do?” Rey asked softly. “Find a clinic and wait until we’re older?” 

Ben sighed. “It would be the responsible thing to do.”

Rey regarded him seriously, eyes wide and vulnerable. “But is that what you want ?” 

Ben searched her eyes, then shook his head sharply. “No. I don’t care that we’re young or that it might be a monumentally stupid decision.” He set his palm over Rey’s flat stomach. “I know it’s your choice, but I want this child.” He smiled sadly. “I love you, Rey. I always will. And if you let me, I’ll love our child too.” 

Rey smiled back at him, eyes full of tears. “So it’s not crazy for me to want to have this baby?” 

Ben felt tears of happiness begin to form in his eyes. He smiled down at her, shaking his head fondly. “No. Not crazy at all to want to have our baby.” 

Rey grinned, launching herself in his arms as they both gave into the crying that accompanied the largest, happiest, stupidest, best decision of their lives. 

Chapter Text

They had pulled themselves together and started preparing dinner by the time Luke returned from his walk. Fortunately, Ben’s uncle was still preoccupied with his book characters to notice the dopey glances Ben and Rey kept exchanging. 

He found himself smiling as he watched Rey chop vegetables, imaging her preparing food for their children in their home. He swore she was sporting a glow that had not existed that morning, one that they both basked in the warmth of, enjoying their shared dream.

“Do you really think it will be okay?” There was no need to specify what was meant by it. After a celebratory afternoon and evening, reality began to seep in as they cuddled in bed. 

“I don’t think it will be easy if that’s what you’re asking. But I think it will be worth it.” Ben gave her a short squeeze. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“No, just thinking about how this will change everything.”  Rey pulled back to prop her head on her own arm so they could see each other’s faces. “Before this, I had thought I might move back to London. Maybe go there for Uni.”

“You were going to leave me?” Ben felt his gut clench.

Rey shook her head. “No, I hadn’t thought it through fully. It was just an idea. Something I wanted to do.” The corner of her mouth twitched. “You could have come with me. I just thought I’d live there again before I was an adult and settled down.” She shrugged. “That was the rough plan, at least.” 

A rough plan that she hadn’t shared with him. “Yeah, but plans change, right?” She gave a small, conceding nod.

He took her hand, stroking the back of it as he spoke. “It will all work out in the end. I mean, your mom didn’t plan on having you either, right? And Dad sure as hell didn’t plan on his secret daughter coming to live with us.” 

He squeezed her hand. “There’s no reason we can’t move to London someday. Families move all the time. It may not have been your original plan, but we can make new ones. Together.”

Rey grinned brightly at him. “I like that. We’ll figure it out together.” 

Ben nodded, pulling her back in to cuddle. 

******

Real-world concerns continued to penetrate their little bubble of joy the next day. While emotionally even-keeled during the morning, Ben was surprised by Rey’s melancholy when he joined her on the dock after dinner. 

“Everything okay?” Ben dangled his legs over the edge, his toes grazing the lake’s surface. 

Rey nodded, keeping her eyes downward, focused on her swinging legs, her feet at no risk of hitting the water. “Just thinking about my mum.”

“Oh. Anything you wanted to talk about?”

Rey shrugged. “She was always on her own, you know? Did everything for herself — never wanted to depend on anyone, particularly a man.” She grinned wistfully. “She used to always say it was the two of us against the world, while I just wanted to have two parents like everyone else.” 

She looked over at Ben conciliatorily.  “Don’t get me wrong, Dad was involved, but he didn’t visit much, so she was effectively a single parent.” Rey twisted her mouth wryly. “I remember her dating when I was a kid. I always hoped she’d get married and I’d have a normal family like everyone else. But she never let things become serious. She wanted to stay independent.” 

Ben noticed tears forming in the corner of her eyes, her jaw trembling. “I could never understand why she chose to stay single. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t be like that. That I wouldn’t be alone.” She gulped. “Yet here I am, about to be a single mother, just like her.”

Ben’s heart broke as her voice cracked. “You won’t be alone. You’ll have me.” He took her hand, smiling gently. “And unlike Dad, I don’t have another family I’ll be spending time with. Just you.”

The corner of Rey’s lips ticked up slightly at his bad joke, but her demeanor quickly returned to maudlin.

“But I will be a single mother, at least officially. No one can know you’re the father.” 

Ben pursed his lips in frustration. While he knew intellectually that he wouldn’t have been able to openly declare paternity, there was an upsetting difference between knowing it in theory and hearing Rey say it aloud. He hated to hear it, even if he knew it was true. 

“You may not be able to list me on the birth certificate, but I swear, Rey, I’ll be there in every other way for our child.” He squeezed her hand tightly. “I’ll be the best dad, er, uncle, in the world.”

Rey smiled lovingly at him. “I believe you.” She sighed dejectedly, dropping his hand. “But there are still things I will have to do on my own.” 

“Like what?”

“Like being the girl who got pregnant in high school.” Rey pulled her feet up onto the dock, hugging her legs against her chest. “Meanwhile, you’ll play the part of the hero brother who stepped up to help his slutty sister when her baby-daddy abandoned her.” 

Ben frowned. Her words upset him, but he had nothing to say that would make them any less true. Her assessment of the future was accurate; she would be judged for letting herself become pregnant, whereas he would only benefit in social perception for being such a good brother. 

“Have you thought about what you’ll say when you’re asked who the father is?” Ben asked carefully.

Rey nodded. “Yeah, a bit.” She shrugged. “But I have nothing. I think my only option is to not say anything and refuse to answer when asked.” 

Ben’s frown deepened. “Dad probably won’t accept that.” 

Rey sniffed, throwing her hands up in defeat. “I know, but do you have a better idea? “

Ben shook his head remorsefully, lips still downturned. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes,  both lost in their own thoughts as they watched the sun begin to sink below the far side of the lake. 

“People at school will try to figure it out,” said Ben softly, breaking the quiet. “They’ll probably think it’s Beau’s. He’s the only guy you’ve gone out with.”

Rey nodded, jaw brushing against the top of her knees. “Beau is a good guy, but I don’t think he’s going to lie and say he was the one that knocked me up when he didn’t even get to first base.” 

Ben pursed his lips. “He doesn’t have to lie. As long as you don’t name anyone, even if Beau denies it, some people will still think it’s his.” 

Rey twisted her lip thoughtfully. “True. Even if I don’t confirm it, and really, even if I deny it, people will still suspect him in the absence of an alternative.” She shrugged. “People thinking Beau is the father probably isn’t the worst scenario.” She smiled at Ben glumly. “Lot better than them thinking it’s you, right?”

Ben scowled. He wasn’t angry at Rey but rather that what she said was true. He wanted to be able to claim that he was the one responsible, that the child growing inside her was his.

But he wasn’t stupid. Though they had never discussed it directly, Ben was sure Rey had done the same incognito web searches on their relationship that he had. And while there were a few states where them being together was not a crime, their home state was not one of them. Even if others confessed to similar experiences anonymously on reddit, he knew no good would come of the truth being known; it would be ruinous. 

Swallowing his pride, he spoke to assure Rey more than himself. “Yeah, you’re right. We can’t have anyone think it’s me.”

Rey was consumed in her silent mediation again. Ben watched as the sun sank beneath the tree line. 

She whipped suddenly toward, her thighs dropping down to the dock. “You don’t think there is a chance people will actually suspect you, do you?” Rey’s voice was anxious and desperate. 

“Why would they?”

“People know you bought condoms, but not who you used them with. What if they link us together?” 

Ben considered this, setting his lips in a thin line. “I don’t think that’s likely. It’s not like we act weird together in public. Me buying condoms to have sex with my sister is a pretty big leap. I don’t think people’s minds will go there, particularly when there is a more realistic alternative with Beau.” 

“But is he realistic?” Rey pressed. “Everyone knows how good a guy Beau is. He has his reputation for a reason. He’s not the type to lie and definitely not the type to shirk responsibility.  Won’t people believe Beau when he denies having slept with me?”

Ben faltered, Rey’s agitation rubbing off on him. “Even if — even if that were the case, why would people jump from Beau to thinking we are involved?” 

He could tell Rey was starting to spiral, her gestures and volume becoming erratic. “I don’t hang out with any guys other than you! Wouldn’t it be easy for people to put two and two together and decide to take a closer look at our relationship?”

Ben was becoming less confident, scrunching his face unhappily at the new rationale. “Forget Beau then. Can’t you say it was someone you met at the lake? A summer fling? It’s got to be early enough that you could pass off having had sex here and not at home.”

Rey rolled her eyes, clearly inconsolable with reason. “Oh yeah, and when Leia asks Luke who I spent time with this summer, what’s he going to say?” She sliced her hand violently in his direction. “You! Same problem.” 

Ben didn’t have an answer for that. “I don’t think there is anything we can do at this point. Worrying about it won’t get us anywhere.” Rey narrowed her eyes, irritated by his comparative calmness. He shrugged. “We just have to hope not naming anyone works.” 

Chapter Text

“No coffee tonight. I’ve got something special for dessert.”  

Ben looked up from the sink, confused. Luke always drank coffee after the evening meal, using it to fuel his second writing wave into the early hours of the morning. Furthermore, he didn’t have much of a sweet tooth; Ben kept a package of Oreos up in the loft for him and Rey since Luke appeared to have the same disdain for sugar as his sister. 

“Rey, dear, pass me a mug.” Rey nodded, setting the plate she had been drying down on the counter. Ben watched warily as she took a red one down from the cabinet that declared ‘Coster Noctem, First of His Name, High King of Ryloth, Emperor of Zeffo, and Badass Motherfucker’ and handed it to Luke. 

His uncle pulled a small plastic square from his shirt pocket, flipping it up between his finger with a flourish like a card in a magic trick.  “You guys want to take a trip?”

Ben turned off the faucet, pausing to see what Luke was up to. Beneath the sheen of the plastic, he could make out what looked like shriveled bluish-gray sprigs. 

Luke rolled his eyes dramatically when neither of them answered. “God, a bunch of nerds. You kids these days don’t know how to relax." He nodded behind them. “Rey, put the kettle on, would you? Better to cook these a bit first.”

Rey crossed to the far counter and silently flipped the switch. Ben kept it filled for her; she had been drinking the ginger tea he had bought for her to ward off nausea. 

Luke removed some of the bag’s contents, crumbling them over the mug. It smelled like dirt. 

“Just some magic to give me writing inspiration,” said Luke, winking conspiratorially. “I need something to mix it up — the plot is getting too similar to Blue Harvest."

Ben didn’t respond, going back to rinsing the dishes while they waited for the water to boil. Rey bumped him gently with her hips, nudging him over so she could pull a dry towel from the cabinet under the sink. She sent him a flirty, private smile as she took the last plate from his hands. 

“You really expect me to believe you guys don’t mess around?” Ben’s heart leapt into his chest.  “No need to be coy; Leia and I experimented tons when we were your age.”  

Luke shrugged, looking entirely unbothered. “Breha knew, not that she ever confronted us about it.” He leaned over the mug, laying his forearms on the countertop. “You know you can tell me. I’m not as uptight as my sister about this type of stuff. Stopped being fun once she met old Han.” 

Rey was also facing Luke, so Ben couldn’t see her expression, but by the way she was white-knuckling the dish and not even pretending to dry it, he could imagine it matched his own. 

“Not even pot?” Luke looked at them incredulously, shaking his head in disappointment. “Internet and computers — they’re ruining the country’s youth.  Too much time inside, not enough time outside, experiencing the real world.” He pulled his arms back, rising back to standing. “Twitter and Facebook do way worse things to young minds than a plant ever could.” 

Ben felt his heart rate returning to a healthy level; preachy Luke was an ass, but he knew how to handle him. Rey floated across the kitchen, bringing the kettle over to Luke. Ben hadn’t even heard it click off.  

“Tried some of the chemical stuff when I was younger, but I stay away from it now. Too many bad trips.” He poured the water, steam rising like a phantom out of the mug. “Stick to the natural stuff: that’s my recommendation. And none of this vape pen shit.” Luke raised the cup in a mock salute. 

“I’m going to go have a smoke on the porch while this steeps. You sure you don’t want any? Rey?” Rey shook her head rapidly, looking down at her feet. “Eh, have it your way.” 

He made to leave when Rey spoke. “What does it do, exactly?”

Luke smiled excitedly as he turned back to face them, waving his hand enthusiastically. “Ah, like dear Humboldt said, ‘I myself am identical with nature.’ It gives life a sense of poignancy, makes you feel one with the world and at peace— it’s transcendental."

He frowned at their lack of response, shifting into a bored lecture tone. “Most people experience hallucinations.  Some people wander outdoors, but I’ll probably crank the stereo up and stare at the ceiling for a few hours. Watch the show, you know? One time I saw a dragon battle in the woodwork that inspired the one in Elessia, and another time, all the trumpets sounded pink.”

Ben suppressed an eye roll.

“So, do you remember what you experience? Enough to write about it?” Rey’s voice was crisp and interrogative, like a litigator. 

Luke shrugged. “Enough. Helps clear my mind and bust through writer’s block.” He shook his head. “You kids are missing out. Best high, bar none.”

******

“Did your uncle really just offer us drugs?” Rey’s smile was incandescent as she stumbled up the stairs behind Ben. 

“I told you he’s a weird dude.” Ben tried to keep a straight face, but her giggles were infectious.

“God, Leia would freak if she knew.” Rey flopped on the bed, immediately scooting over to make room for Ben. 

Ben began to nod, crawling beside her. “Or maybe not — did you catch that bit where he mentioned my mom?” 

“Oh, you mean that part where it sounded like he was confessing to screwing her?” Rey giggled. “Yeah, I caught that.” 

“Gah!” Ben cringed, rearing up to sit on the mattress. “Don’t even say that! Those are the two people in the world I least want to think about having sex. Even individually, especially not together. ” He shivered. “I meant the part that made it sound like my mom used to take drugs too.” 

 “I know what you meant.” She smirked playfully, interlacing her hands behind her head. “And yeah, I mean, she probably did. I know Dad smoked pot.” Ben raised his eyebrows. “Mum told me they did back when they were teens.” 

Ben shook his head. “I don’t get it. My mom’s so strict now.” 

Rey shrugged. “I guess it’s different when you’re a parent.” 

Parent. He and Rey were going to be parents. Ben found himself smiling subconsciously at the thought of raising a child with Rey. 

“Do you think we’ll make good parents?” 

Rey looked at him thoughtfully. “Yeah, I think so.” She shrugged. “Don’t go having a secret second family, and you’ll be ahead of Dad.” 

Ben barked a laugh. “I’ll try to resist the temptation.” 

Brass-heavy music started up, blaring upward into the loft. Apparently Luke was settling in for his transcendental trip. 

Ben rolled his eyes; Rey smiled coquettishly. 

“You know, the music is very loud. If you want to give in to some temptation.” He watched as she suggestively butterflied her legs. “I think we’re safe from discovery.” 

Ben leered, eyes wandering appreciatively up her body. “Mmm. Probably a risk worth taking.” He stroked up her inner calf, mirroring her unhurried manner. “If he hears anything, we’ll just tell him he was hallucinating." 

Ben looked up at Rey’s face, expecting to see an amused grin but finding her deep in thought.  “You okay?”

“What?” Rey snapped back to the present, eyes returning to him. “Oh, yeah. I think we’ll be fine.” 

While they had managed a few early-morning sessions in bed while Luke slept, they had all been conducted under the pressure of concealment, with swallowed moans and faces buried in pillows. Ben longed for the privacy of after-school hours at home where neither needed to censor themselves. Luke’s blaring music was a pale substitute, but he would take the privacy they could get.  

Ben returned to slowly tracing his hands over her skin, reveling in the opportunity of unrushed foreplay. He dipped his hands under her shirt, outlining the lace of her bra. Rey squirmed.  

“You like that?” Rey hummed affirmatively. “I told you they were more sensitive.” 

Rey sent him a false irritated look but lifted forward to remove her shirt as he began to tug it up. He leaned down to kiss the tops of her breasts, his fingers kneading through the thin fabric. 

“I love your tits.” Ben cupped one, smiling in wonder. “They already feel heavier.” He unclasped her bra, admiring her bare breasts as the fabric fell down her arms, his fingers continuing to caress them languidly. 

“Just wait until they’re full of milk.” He leaned down, capturing a nipple in his mouth. Rey gasped, her hands burying in his hair. 

His lips remained on the sensitive bud as he snuck a hand downward, rubbing her belly. He tugged her shorts off her hips to get better access.

“I can’t wait until you start to grow.” Ben’s kisses abandoned her breast and began to march in a line down her front. “Makes me hard just thinking about it.” He pulled her shorts and panties down to her knees. Rey squirmed in anticipation. 

“I think about how it’s my baby inside of you. How I’m the one that put it in you.” He shook his head in awe. “Fuck, it’s the hottest thing ever.” 

Rey moaned petulantly. “Ben, just fuck me already! Please!” 

Ben grinned teasingly. “Eager, huh?”

Rey pouted. “Don’t be mean — I’m pregnant.” 

Ben growled, flipping her over to her stomach. Damn right she was pregnant — by him. 

He quickly divested himself of his clothes, then pulled Rey by her hips, forcing her up to hands and knees. He teased her folds with his cock. 

“Is this what you want, Rey? You want me to breed you like an animal?” He purred, leaning over her back. Rey made a pained moan that went straight to his groin, causing him to smile uncontrollably.  “Yeah, I think you do.” 

He returned to upright, lining up with her entrance, already slippery with her arousal. He punched in sharply, causing a wail from Rey that she partially concealed with a pillow. 

“I think you like the idea of being bred by your brother. Of carrying his child inside you.” Rey moaned, and he pistoned more roughly. 

“That turns you on, doesn’t it? The idea makes you just as horny as it makes me, doesn’t it?” Another rough brutal thrust. “You’re just as perverted as me.”

It came from somewhere deep in him; Ben wasn’t sure where. Something told him that she enjoyed being taunted, that the teasing was turning her on. He leaned over her back again, mouth close to her ear, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. 

“You wanted to get pregnant, didn’t you? Wanted to carry my child?” 

Rey shook her head and groaned in denial, but he could feel the effect of his words on her, the way she clenched around him, her cunt becoming wetter. 

“Oh, I think you did.” He pulled back to kneel perpendicular. “It’s okay. I forgive you.” 

His moves were becoming more erratic as he approached his crest. The staccato of Rey’s moans indicated that she was close as well. 

“That’s it, come on my cock,” purred Ben. “Come on your brother’s cock.” 

Rey did, her back arching beautifully as she shuddered and clenched around him. Ben swore as he felt the tell-tale clench in his balls. Rey groaned as he came hard, filling her with his cum. 

“If you weren’t pregnant already, you would be now,” he muttered, causing Rey to giggle. 

He withdrew slowly, watching with satisfaction as his seed dripped out of her, dirtying her inner thighs. He collapsed down on the bed, drowsily pulling her into a cuddle as they caught their breath. Their deep inhales were barely audible over the symphony blasting from the record player below. 

Ben was already drifting off despite the early hour when he felt Rey trying to slither out of his embrace. He pulled her back. 

“Ben, I just need to go pee.”  

He grunted, dropping the tension from his arm. He heard her scuttling around, shrugging on pajamas. 

“Okay, into the breach. Let’s hope Luke doesn’t think I’m a dragon and try to fight me.” 

Ben snorted. “Good luck.” 

He was asleep before she got to the stairs. 

******

Ben awoke to an empty bed, the first rays of dawn sun slinking through the thin curtains. It was quiet, that early-morning still from the lack of human activity. 

Rey’s side of the bed was cold. Ben frowned, hoping that she wasn’t dealing with morning sickness. She had been drinking ginger tea in the evenings, but Luke had commandeered the kettle water the previous night to steep his mushrooms, and they had skipped making her a cup. Fucking Luke and his desire to revisit his psychedelic youth. 

Ben tugged on a pair of boxers before descending the stairs. It was quiet downstairs too, a record spinning rhythmically, but the stylus pushed to the side. 

The kitchen was empty, with no sign of life other than Luke’s drained mug on the counter and a dirty spoon in the sink.  The bathroom was empty too. He popped in to use it quickly before starting to look for Rey with greater earnest. 

Thinking that she had maybe gone outside for some fresh air, he checked out the window over the sink but couldn’t see her by the dock or out on the side porch. 

Ben felt his heart rate begin to increase. Rey’s whereabouts had quickly escalated from a mere curiosity to a full-blown concern. Where was she? 

His eyes started to dart around the cabin. What if there had been some type of complication with the pregnancy, and she had passed out, knocking herself unconscious? Or simply tripped and fell? Luke’s ridiculous music had been so loud it would have drowned out her cries for help…

Luke. Maybe he had seen Rey. Ben marched over to the master bedroom door, knocking loudly but not waiting for an answer before swinging it open. He had accidentally had a few run-ins with his naked uncle already this summer; if it meant finding Rey sooner, he wasn’t scared of what he might see. 

Or so he thought. 

“Luke, have you seen —“ Ben’s words caught in his throat as he watched Luke snap up to sitting, not paying mind to how the top sheet fell, threatening to expose his junk. 

It wasn’t his uncle’s sudden nudity that stole the words from Ben’s mouth but the recognition of the equally nude Rey beside him, pulling the same top sheet over her chest in a pretense of modesty. 

Chapter Text

“Ben!” 

At Rey’s high-pitched squeal, Luke’s head whipped to his left, gazing at her like she had materialized out of a dream. 

The adrenaline that had started surging when he couldn’t find Rey was now pulsing in Ben’s veins. He had found her — she wasn’t hurt — but she was with him? His ancient, creepy uncle? It was too much to process. 

He was rounding the first bend of the trail when he realized that he had simply bolted, still dressed in boxers, his bare feet torn from the rough path. It would be stupid and painful to continue without proper footwear, but he couldn’t return to the cabin. Not yet. Not while he was still reeling from Rey’s betrayal. 

He had seen her eyes, and in an instant, he had known. They had been full of guilt and shame. 

Ben wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he saw Rey padding down the trail toward him. He had tried to burn through his anger by throwing countless pinecones deeper into the woods and batting sticks against tree trunks. He had already broken four and was working on his fifth — still without the desired effect. 

“Ben.” 

Rey’s voice was somewhere between a plea and a question. Her hair was wet and pulled into a high ponytail, her body guarded against the cool morning air with a baggy sweatshirt that nearly obscured her shorts. His sweatshirt. 

“How could you?” He brandished the stick toward her like a sword, warning her to keep her distance. 

“Ben, nothing happened! I would never —“ 

Ben scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You were in his bed. Naked. It was obvious what you did.” 

“It was meant to fool him, not you!” Rey stomped her foot. “I didn’t have sex with him. — I just made him think that we did.” 

“What? Why would you want him to think that he slept with you?” Ben made another broad swipe with his stick, enjoying the whistling sound it made cutting through the air. 

“The other day, we talked about who people would think the father is. I’m still worried that the suspicion will fall on you when there isn’t an alternative.” Rey twisted her lip nervously, an action matched with her hands. “This is a better misdirection than the Beau angle — and more likely to hold up. Beau and I didn’t even kiss, but if Luke thinks we had sex…”

“That’s a ridiculous idea.” Ben threw the stick violently toward the side of the trail. “And what if he wants to have sex again, now that he thinks you already have. Did you think of that?”

“No….” Rey’s lips were pursed, her face uncertain. 

“So what if he does? What if he comes on to you? Are you going to actually have sex with him?” How far was she willing to take this inane plan? 

Rey reared back. “No! Of course not! How can you even suggest that?”

“You slept in the same bed with him. Naked. When you knew he was high on mushrooms.” Ben took a step closer; she maintained wary eye contact. “What if he had woken up and found you there? What if he had tried something? Do you think you would have been able to fight him off?”

Rey was taking abnormally deep breaths, eyes wide. “I did it for us,” she offered weakly. “I wanted to protect us — protect our child."  

"I will protect us,” growled Ben. He needed Rey to see that, to not put herself or their child in dangerous situations. “How could you think naming my creepy pervert uncle as the father of your child would be a good idea?”

“It’s better than people finding out it’s yours!” Rey cried, hugging her arms around her torso. “Luke’s not my uncle. Can’t you see how that would be better?” 

Ben waved her off dismissively, still fuming. 

“Ben, I love you. I love our child. I want us to be together — for all of it.” She took a tentative step forward, reaching her hand out toward him like she was approaching a stray dog. “I’m scared, Ben. Scared of people finding out I’m pregnant. Scared of them finding out it’s yours.” She gently pressed her palm into his bare chest, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. “I’m scared they’ll split us apart if they find out…”

Ben’s heart softened. His anger and frustration were hopeless against his need to comfort Rey. “That’s not going to happen.” He stepped forward, squeezing her tightly against him, her face wetting his chest. “I won’t let it — I promise.”

“You don’t know that!” Rey sobbed. “That’s why I had to do what I did with Luke! I saw the opportunity, and I had to take it.” 

Ben’s arms stiffened, pulling back slightly so he could see her face. “What exactly did you do with Luke?” 

Rey shook her head. “ Nothing . When I went downstairs to pee before bed, he started talking to me. He wanted me to keep him company and read to him. He was like a kid; it was amusing to watch.” 

Rey’s hand snaked up to wipe her eye with the cuff of his sweatshirt. “He said he wanted to lay down, so I helped walk him to bed. He stripped and got under the covers — not like that — he always sleeps naked, remember?”

She cleared her throat. “Anyway, he started talking about how the magentas and the greens were really popping. Then I got the idea. He was hallucinating and wouldn’t remember what happened and what didn’t. I could make him believe anything — it was perfect.“ 

“The solution to our problem handed to me on a silver platter. The timing was right, it would explain any family resemblance, and it’s believable. I mean, it’s obvious Luke wants to fuck me.” 

“Obvious how?” 

Rey shrugged. “You’ve noticed how he acts around me. Complimenting me on my drawings. All the comments about how pretty I look.” She took a deep breath. “He likes to talk about sex when we’re alone. A lot. Obviously, part of it is because he writes sex scenes, and I have to type them up, but sometimes he’ll just talk about how fun sex is and tease me for being prudish.” 

Ben furrowed his brow, choosing his words carefully. “And what do you say?”

“I try to ignore him or laugh it off. He gets a kick out of making me nervous. He’s convinced I’m a virgin because I didn’t answer his questions when he asked about dating boys.” Rey tilted her head to the left. “Like the other day, when it was raining, and you were cleaning inside. He accidentally wrote my name instead of the character’s in a sensual scene. And a few days after that, I typed a chapter where the main guy has sex with a woman who looks exactly like me, even mentioning my freckles.” 

Ben saw red but tried to keep his voice steady, focusing on the story at hand, not the reasons he was going to murder his uncle. “So Luke was hallucinating?” 

Rey nodded. “Yeah. But he wasn’t getting tired. I kept waiting for him to pass out, but I fell asleep before he did.” She sniffled. “I woke up a few hours later; that’s when I took off my clothes. He never touched me, I promise.” 

“What happened after I left?”

“After you stormed out? He asked me what was going on, and I started crying. I ran to the bathroom and took a shower. I’ve been avoiding him — I came out to find you as soon as I had dressed.” 

Ben pulled her closer, tucking her head under his chin protectively. “Good. That’s good.” 

“You’re the only person I’m going to have sex with ever, I promise,” she mumbled against his chest, her voice strained and sincere. 

Rey still wanted him. She was still committed to them and their relationship. The incident with Luke wasn’t her wanting to be with someone else — it was a misguided attempt to protect their secret from being discovered. It was an idiotic idea, one he would have talked her out of had she brought it to him, but he understood her motivation. 

“I wish we didn’t have to hide it,” he whispered. “I wish we could walk down the hall at school, holding hands.” He kissed her crown.

“It didn’t bother me before that we couldn’t tell anyone about our relationship before. It was just for us, and that was okay.” He sighed, reaching his hand down to rest on her still-flat belly.  “But this? I want the whole world to know it’s mine.” 

Rey rested her hand over his, winding her fingers between his. “It is yours, Ben. And so am I. Always.” 

******

They worked out a strategy to salvage the mess Rey had created. Ben returned to the cabin, stepping gingerly to avoid cutting his feet soles up further, leaving Rey in the woods. 

Luke was pacing in the main room, dressed sloppily with unkempt hair. 

“Ben! I was wondering where you had run off to. About what you saw this morning —“ 

“I didn’t see anything.” Ben put his hands up in a defensive position. “What Rey does is none of my business.” He moved swiftly toward the staircase, hoping to avoid more conversation. 

“She kept me company during my trip — that’s all.” Luke’s voice was surprisingly even and calm. “She fell asleep before I hit my peak, but I didn’t want to wake her. I know how tired she’s been recently.” 

Ben frowned, pausing at the base of the staircase, but still avoiding making eye contact with his uncle. Rey had been sluggish recently, no doubt a side effect of growing a child. His child.  

“When I got up to grab some food post-peak, I thought about waking her and sending her upstairs before I went to sleep, but she just looks so peaceful.” Luke’s voice was starting to show a hint of emotion. “I covered her with a blanket. I don’t know what happened between then and when you came in, but it’s not what you think.” 

Fuck. Luke was apparently not as readily fooled as Rey thought he would be. She had initiated this half-baked plan, but he would have to figure out a way to finish it. 

“How can you be so sure?” Ben chose his words carefully. “Weren’t you high on drugs? Just because you don’t remember something happening doesn’t mean it didn’t.” 

Luke pursed his lips, looking very much like he wanted to say something but was holding his tongue. After maintaining each other’s gaze in an undeclared staring match for a minute, his uncle broke the silence. 

“Did you talk with Rey?” Luke sounded genuinely curious. “Did she tell you what happened?” 

“She didn’t have to,” Ben snapped, scurrying up the stairs and slamming the door before Luke could say anything else. 

******

Luke was gone by the time Rey returned. He had left a note on the table that he was going into town and would be back after dinner. 

Lunch was tense, despite it only being the two of them, the morning’s unpleasantness lingering. Ben desperately wished that they had a TV or something he could do to just zone out and not fixate on the details from the morning. He didn’t feel like floating on the lake or having a mundane conversation with Rey right now. 

“I wish you would stop being mad at me,” murmured Rey plaintively as she handed him the last plate to dry. 

“I’m not mad.” 

“You’re acting like you are.” 

Ben didn’t respond, wiping the dish dry in silence as he had all the others. 

“Ben, I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I know it was stupid, but I had to, Ben. I had to do it —“ 

He shushed her quietly, going so far as to lay a finger against her lips. “It’s in the past. It’s over now — let it die.” Ben turned away from her, putting the plate in the cabinet. He was ready for this whole thing to be over and forgotten. “I’ll take it from here. All of it. Just do what I tell you to, okay?”

Rey nodded meekly, gazing up at him contritely. “You’re in charge.” 

Ben couldn’t stop a small grin from appearing at her words. “That’s right, I am.” He looked down at her sternly. “But you seemed to have forgotten that. Forgot that I’ll take care of you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been so reckless with Luke.” 

“I said I was sorry, Ben, and I am. We’ll do it your way from now on, I promise.” 

Ben suddenly knew exactly how to relieve his lingering anger from the morning. “Get on your knees.” 

Rey glanced up at him, her face a mixture of surprise and confusion. 

“We’re doing things my way, remember?” 

Ben could see the puzzle pieces snapping together in her mind, the corner of her lips turning up licentiously. She nodded slowly, using the counter edge to steady herself as she lowered to her knees. She looked up at him expectantly, the height difference from her submissive position making him harder. 

“I think you need a reminder about who is in charge. Who will take care of you.” Rey’s eyes sparkled with anticipation. “Why don’t you show me you understand?” 

It wasn’t like he could stay mad at the mother of his child for long. 

Chapter Text

Luke was awake and already had breakfast on the table when Ben and Rey trudged downstairs the following day. Ben hadn’t known what to expect from his uncle; would he be defensive, apologetic? He had played various scenarios out in his head, thinking through how they could respond to each. 

What he hadn’t anticipated was his uncle proceeding as if the previous day had not happened, greeting them in his usual gruff manner and directing the conversation toward what they needed to achieve that day. 

“I’ve had a breakthrough in my writer’s block — I can see clearly now exactly what needs to happen!” Luke waved his arms animatedly, scattering buttered breadcrumbs across the table. 

He tore off a bite of toast, chewing quickly. “No need to type what I wrote Wednesday, Rey — we’re scrapping all of it. Everything after the siege at Foerost is wrong.” 

“That’s… a lot of pages.” Rey finally sputtered, her voice tentative. “The siege was one of the first scenes I typed.” 

“Sometimes, you have to kill your darlings.” He shrugged, resigned. “I should have plenty for you to type tomorrow.” He nodded across the table at Ben. “You can help your brother out today. Safer to have two people when using a ladder anyway.” 

******

Ben was unsure how he did it, but he managed to keep Rey and Luke from being entirely alone together. When Rey had rejoined his uncle inside to start typing his revised masterpiece, Ben had found many excuses to come into the cabin frequently. Luke noticed but only complained that he was letting bugs in with his near-constant door opening. Rey offered him a shy smile each time he entered. 

His avoidance plan fell apart on the fourth morning when Luke insisted that Ben run to town to gather the mail. 

“We are also out of bread. You might as well do grocery shopping while you’re there.” 

Ben frowned. He wasn’t keen on leaving Rey alone for several hours. “Okay.” He nodded slowly, eyeing his uncle closely, checking for predatory instinct but not discerning any. He twisted to face Rey. “Want to come into town with me?”

Rey’s eyes lit up, and she opened her mouth to respond, but Luke spoke first. “I need Rey to type up what I wrote last night. I lost a lot of time with the rewrites, and I need to get the next section to my editor by the end of the month.” 

“Surely a few hours won’t matter?” Rey acknowledged hopefully.  “I’ll be sure to type it all today, even if I have to work late.” 

Luke shook his head. “No. I need that part typed to work on the next bit.” He looked at them thoughtfully. “You can have the truck this weekend — both days, if you like — and do whatever you want. But today, I need you to work.” 

Ben exchanged a quick glance with Rey, who shrugged nearly imperceptibly. She squeezed his knee under the table.

******

Ben finished his errands in record time. He found them both sitting at the table working as they did most days, the picture of domesticity as he lugged shopping bags into the kitchen. Rey smiled — genuinely smiled — and he began to breathe easier. 

When he and Rey went for a float on the lake before dinner, she gave him a rundown of what had occurred in his absence.

“He said he wanted to talk about what had happened the other day, said that he had no memory of it. I was able to avoid telling him any details, but he kept pressing.” 

“What did you say?”

Rey dragged her hand aimlessly through the water. “I told him it was a mistake, and I hadn’t been entirely sure what we were doing.” She grinned wryly. “I really played up the blushing virgin angle. I told him that I had never had sex before and found the whole thing overwhelming.” 

“How did he react to that?” 

Rey twisted her lip, eyes focused on the patterns she was drawing on the lake’s surface. “It didn’t seem to bother him. He took the whole idea of us having sex in stride — didn’t even seem to care that he had taken my virginity.” 

“Well, he didn’t. That was me.” Ben ran his fingers playfully up her inner thigh. Rey giggled, squirming to avoid his tickles. 

“Ben, stop!” She flicked some water at him, and he obeyed, moving his hand to rest possessively, splayed across her abdomen. Rey seemed to find this acceptable. 

“Like I was saying, he didn’t seem to care that he had potentially deflowered me. He just moved closer, crowding me a bit.” Ben’s eyes narrowed. “He didn’t do anything. I think he might have put his hand on my back, but he didn’t try to kiss me or anything like that.” 

“He just stood there creepily?”

Rey shook her head. “No, he apologized. Said he should have been more of a gentleman and that the first time is always a lot to take in.” Ben could see she was fidgeting a bit. “He said we could try again, that it would be better when he was sober and in his right mind.” 

Ben growled despite himself. This was exactly what he had feared would happen when Rey first shared her idiotic plan, exactly why he had been so reluctant to leave Rey alone with his uncle. Luke wanted to bang Rey, and letting him think he already had was welcoming advances from the dirty old man. 

“Calm down. I told him it didn’t feel right, that being with him felt incestual despite not being an actual blood relation. He seemed ready to push back on that, so I told him how much I wished I could talk to my mother about having sex, then I said that maybe I should call Leia instead. That got him to back off.”

“Smart.” Rey blushed. “So he dropped it?” 

Rey nodded. “Yeah. He said he just wanted to make sure I was okay, that he didn’t want things to be weird between us. He said he wouldn’t bring it up again.”

“And that was it? Everything’s back to normal?” Had things really resolved so cleanly? 

“Yeah. Mostly. He just mentioned sex can be overwhelming and that he understands if the next time I do it, I want it to be with someone closer to my own age.” 

“That can be arranged.” Ben smirked, lowering his hand a few inches. Rey rolled her eyes, stretching back to soak in the sun as his thumb went to work. 

******

Things did surprisingly return to normal, or at least as normal as things could ever be with his egotistical uncle. Ben kept a sharp eye on his interactions with Rey but desisted from viewing him as a threat after a week of supervision. He would protect Rey, but he had to trust her to tell him if she needed him; they were a team. 

Which was not to say that he didn’t still find some of their interactions creepy despite Rey being unbothered by them. Mid-July, he overheard Luke complimenting Rey on something she was drawing on his way down to the dock. 

“Truly excellent work. You can really feel the passion. Forbidden fruits always taste the sweetest, don’t they?” 

Rey nodded along dumbly. Ben waited until Luke was out of earshot to wander across the porch and ask what he had been talking about. 

Rey angled the sketchpad toward him. It showed two people in a loving embrace, looking like they were seconds away from a rapturous kiss. 

“Is that supposed to be us?” He hissed, shocked that she would do something so brazen in the open. 

Rey laughed. “No! It’s Coster and Kathren from Red Squadron. ” She grinned. “Though they are siblings like us.”

Ben frowned. “They look like they’re in love.” 

“They are. Or were.” Ben raised an eyebrow. “They’re twins, though that wasn’t revealed until the third book. They only kissed on-screen, er, on-page, a few times before they found out,  but they have tons of sexual tension. Lots of fans ship them together.” 

“Even though they’re related?” 

Rey nodded. “I was surprised too, but I guess it’s a pretty common thing in high fantasy books. Plus, the actors who played them in the mini-series were hot and dated for a few months, so I’m sure that helps.”

She bit her lip. “You know, a lot of people theorize that Coster, not Kathren’s husband, is the father of her child. Luke has never confirmed it, but I watched a few fan videos on it, and there are loads of hints…”

“Is that why you’re drawing them? You think they’re like us?” 

Rey shook her head. “No, Luke wanted me to. He asked to look through my sketchpad the other day and said he liked my style. He told me he’d like to see my interpretation of his characters — he’s even paying me.”

“Really?” 

“Yep.” Rey unfurled a few pages from the top of the pad, revealing a figure that reminded him of the self-portraits she had gifted him. The woman in the sketch was wearing a flowing medieval dress, her hair pulled up in an intricate style. Aside from the drawing having markedly larger tits, it looked just like Rey. “He really liked this one of Alayne.” 

Ben frowned, not wanting to think about what his uncle would do with a busty drawing of Rey. “He asked you to draw her?”

“No, he said to start with whomever, and I figured she’d be easy.” She flipped forward a page. “Then I did Kathren — she’s my favorite.” She flashed a sketch of a female archer before flipping through a few more pages, returning to the embracing siblings. 

“He suggested I work on the characters from the Squadron books. I’ve never seen the mini-series, so he said I wouldn’t be biased by the actors.” She traced the edge of Coster’s sword with her finger. “He did ask that I work on this one — it’s the climactic scene from the first book, right after he saves her.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Figures he would make even your hobby about him.”

Rey smacked him gently with the sketchpad. “He’s paying me — that means it’s not a hobby. I’ll draw whatever he wants if it adds to our escape Greenview fund.” 

“And if he wants you to draw him naked?” Ben meant it to be teasing, but after speaking, he was afraid his words might have come out with a sharper edge than he intended. 

Rey smirked saucily. “Well, I do still need practice drawing the male form….” 

******

The trip back home from the cabin was significantly less eventful than the journey there had been. Luke had dropped them off at the regional airport with plenty of time before the flight and promised that he’d see them at Thanksgiving…which would be more than soon enough in Ben’s mind. 

There was a single three-hour layover on the way home. Unsupervised and away from the eyes of anyone they knew, Ben took full advantage of being able to be affectionate with his girlfriend in public. He held her hand while they waited in line at Auntie Anne’s and kissed her to wipe away the cinnamon sugar that dusted her upper lip after they ate. 

Unless someone was looking for it, they wouldn’t have noticed, but Ben was convinced he could see the slightest swelling in her lower stomach, physical proof of what was to come. He loved the  idea of her body changing, the thought of her bearing his kids, being the wife he’d come home to when he was older… 

He had grown used to sharing a bed with Rey, of being able to hold her while they fell asleep and coax her awake with a hand between her legs. Back at his parents’ home, the distance that separated them at night seemed unbearable at first, their time alone together restricted to the few magical hours after school before his parents returned home. 

Ben tried to keep an eye on the future and stay focused on when they could again truly cohabitate after they graduated. They both had done well enough on their SATs that neither felt the need to retake them, and Leia was badgering them about what schools they wanted to apply to and visit. 

He and Rey had mutually decided to focus on schools in Rhode Island and Ohio, where their relationship would not be a crime. Leia was baffled by the seemingly illogical mix of schools they had each provided and slightly upset that neither had shown interest in nearby colleges. 

It was good to plan for the future; Ben liked that Rey was also thinking about their relationship long-term, gamely comparing schools with art majors against Ben’s list of schools with good business programs. 

They built a nice little world for themselves the first few weeks of senior year, settling into a comfortable routine of sex, Netflix, and dreaming about their shared future together where they could be together openly.

Of course,  one aspect of their future could not stay secret. 

They knew it was impending, that it coming out was inevitable — but they also knew the little slice of peace they had hollowed out for themselves was about to be shattered. 

Chapter Text

“I don’t think I can hide it much longer.” Rey smoothed her hand over the small but insistent swell on her lower abdomen. “Loose tops are helping, but I’m growing too fast.”  

Ben readjusted his arm around her shoulders, reaching his other hand down to rest on the little mound, stroking it comfortingly. “It’s just because you’re lying back, and the fabric is draped against your skin. It’s not as noticeable when you’re sitting or standing.” 

Rey frowned. “The only reason I’ve been able to keep it a secret this long is because I don’t have gym until the spring, so no one other than you has seen my naked belly.” She twisted her lip. “I caught Kaydel watching me at the lockers this morning. You know that gleam she gets in her eyes when she’s rooting out juicy gossip? It’s like she knows something is up.”

Ben suppressed a groan. Fucking Kaydel — she would be relentless. 

“So, what do you think we should do then?”

Rey wriggled against him uncomfortably. “I think I have to tell Dad and Leia. They’re going to be able to tell soon enough — anyone with eyes will be able to.” 

Ben nodded reluctantly. Just because he knew it was coming did not make the prospect of it any better. “I’ll go with you; you won’t be alone.”

Rey resumed the anxious petting of her clothed belly. “We can’t like, do it together. That would be too suspicious.” Ben frowned; he hated when he couldn’t help. 

She hummed thoughtfully. “But maybe if I told them at dinner? It would still be me telling them, but you’d be there too.” 

“Yeah, let’s try that.”

******

Ben was full of nerves throughout the entire length of the meal. He ate mechanically, barely even registering the taste of food. He knew there had been a green vegetable and mashed potatoes but couldn’t have said whether he had eaten steak, chicken, or meatloaf.  Each time Rey began to speak, he held his breath, but they were all false alarms. Only when plates were about to be cleared did she clear her throat. 

“I, uh, actually wanted to tell you all something, if you have a minute?” 

Leia furrowed her brow but nodded, clearly picking up on the nervousness in Rey’s voice. “Of course, dear. Go ahead.” 

Ben could see Rey wringing her hands under the table, her eyes darting between his parents. His mother looked considerably more concerned than their father, who just stared at her expectantly.

“I, uh, I’m pregnant?” It came out like a question, like she herself was unsure.

He watched as his mother’s face immediately softened, her hand reaching across the table. Han’s face was just a wall of disbelief. 

“Oh, sweetie. Are you sure?”

Rey wailed in reply, the tears begging to drop. Her arms wrapped around her body in an attempt to self-soothe. It took all of Ben’s self-control to stay put and not embrace her. 

Fortunately, his mother was up to the task, hopping up and rounding the table, letting Rey bury her face against her stomach as she sobbed an apology.  Leia whispered calming sounds, rubbing her stepdaughter’s shoulders and upper back in that comforting way that mothers do. 

“How the hell did this happen? You’re too young to be having sex!” 

Ben’s attention was torn back to his father, whose shock had dissipated and been replaced with outrage. 

“Han,” Leia warned. 

His father stood forcefully, wagging his index finger at his wife and jostling the table as he did. “No, don’t ‘Han’ me!” He took a step to the right to stand across from Rey. “Who did this to you?”

Rey wailed again at his sharp tone, turning back to Leia, who shot her husband an exasperated look. Ben squirmed, terrified when his father’s wild eyes fell on him. 

“Did you know anything about this?” 

“What? No!” Ben shook his head vigorously, subsequently hoping that it didn’t come off as suspiciously exaggerated. 

“Ben, honey, you can go upstairs.” Although his mother was addressing him, her eyes were focused on Han, who had begun to pace along the length of the far side of the table like a caged animal. 

“Let him stay,” murmured Rey. “I told him this afternoon.”

Han’s head reared toward Ben, face red and livid. Ben shrunk backwards in his chair,  thankful for the few feet of distance between them that the table provided. His instinct was to take his mother’s offer and flee, but he knew he should stay there for Rey, especially after she had requested he do so against his mother’s suggestion. Still, he wished she hadn’t said that she had already told him when he had just denied having any knowledge to their father. 

“He told me that I had to tell you,” Rey continued mournfully with what Ben hoped was a strategic use of tears. “I’ve known for a while, but I couldn’t keep it a secret from you any longer.” 

Ben risked a glance away from his pacing father to Leia, who returned the gaze before pulling backward to speak to Rey. 

“Rey, sweetie, how do you feel about all of this? Have you thought about what you want to do?” Leia’s voice was soothing and reminded Ben of when he was young.

"Do?” Han curled his lip, frozen mid-stride. “She’s seventeen for chrissakes, Leia. There’s only one thing to do.” 

Like hell there was. This was Ben’s child. 

His mother chose to ignore the unsolicited commentary, her focus entirely on Rey, looking at her expectantly. Ben could hear Rey whisper a reply, but not what she said, her words for Leia and Leia alone. 

She nodded solemnly. “We’ll get you to a doctor then. See how far along you are. I’ll call about an appointment tomorrow, okay?” 

Ben watched the back of Rey’s head bob in agreement, framed by Leia’s hands still squeezing her shoulder blades reassuringly. 

“Who is the father?” Han’s voice was level, but each word was clipped as if it took him great self-control to put on a facade of calm. He was white-knuckling the corners of his chair’s top rail, tilting it back on its rear legs toward him. 

Rey twisted a bit in her chair, turning away from Leia but not quite facing their father head-on; her back was still toward Ben. Here we go…

Rey shook her head ashamedly. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want him involved.” She used the cuff of her sleeve to wipe her eye. Her voice was rough from crying. Ben longed to reach out and comfort her, to proclaim that he was the father, promise that he would be involved…

“Whether you like it or not, he is involved. He needs to take responsibility.” Han’s voice was adamant, the thin pretense of restraint breaking. Rey avoided eye contact, tilting her head toward the floor. 

“Not now, Han.” Leia’s words weren’t so much a rebuke as an exhausted plea. 

Ben recognized the look on his father’s face — the same one that used to send him running upstairs to get out of the line of fire before his parents started fighting. 

“Ben, honey, would you take Rey upstairs to lie down? Your father and I need to talk.” Leia must have seen it too. 

Ben nodded, eager to remove Rey from the situation. They weren’t even at the top landing when Han started to yell. Ben ushered Rey into her room in a futile attempt to block out the argument. They sat on the edge of the bed in silence, Rey sobbing softly into his chest as he stroked her back. 

It wasn’t long until they heard the front door slam and the sound of their father’s truck peeling out of the driveway. 

******

Ben didn’t know how, but Rey managed to find the strength to go to school the next day. She was not in the best of moods but admitted on the ride home that, if nothing else, the routine and relative normalcy were comforting. 

Han’s truck was in the driveway when they got home, a scene eerily reminiscent of the day Ben had been informed of Rey’s existence. He reached over the console and squeezed her hand; at least she wouldn’t have to face whatever awaited her inside alone. 

Han slumped sheepishly out of the living room at the sound of them entering the house, head bowed, hands buried in his front pockets. 

“Hey. Rey, can we talk?” 

Rey exchanged a quick glance with Ben before turning back and hesitantly nodding. Ben watched as she slipped off her shoes and padded into the living room after their father. Han motioned for her to sit down on the couch before sitting next to her. 

Ben wanted to hear what his father had to say, but marching into the room and taking a seat opposite them in the wingback didn’t seem reasonable. He settled for hovering in the kitchen, going through the motions of getting a glass of water and slowly drinking it. 

Han’s face was tired, and he looked wrecked, much like he had been when Rey’s mother had passed. Rey looked childlike next to him, her small frame swimming in an oversized sweatshirt. 

“I want to apologize for yelling last night. I was in shock, and I lashed out.” Ben was surprised at  how  genuinely contrite he sounded. “You came to us for support, and I made it worse. I see that now. I’m sorry.”

Han cleared his throat. “I know you’re probably scared. Pregnancy is … overwhelming. But I’ll always love you, no matter what. I’m here for you, kid.” 

Although blocked by the couch back, Ben surmised by the angle of his arm that Han had put his hand on Rey’s leg. Her lips were wobbly. 

“It’s not something we were prepared for, but when does life ever go as we expect it to? You know that as well as I do. It will be okay.” 

He heard Rey start to cry and watched as Han leaned forward to embrace her. Ben felt like an interloper, intruding on their private moment. He slinked up the stairs unnoticed as his father comforted Rey, rubbing her back and promising that everything would work out. 

******

On Monday afternoon, Leia pulled Rey out of school to go to her first prenatal exam. She had found a doctor an hour north in Cratertown. While his mother claimed it had been easier to get an appointment in the larger metropolis than at the local practice on short notice, Ben suspected she was conscious of how quickly gossip traveled and wanted some control over the narrative. 

As expected, Han arrived home before them. Unexpected was his appearance in his son’s doorway. 

Ben pulled down his headphones; he was at his desk, actually doing his math homework for once. Han gave him a cursory greeting before sitting down on the bed. Ben swiveled to face him. 

“I wanted to talk to you about what is going on with your sister.” 

“Okay…” Ben wasn’t sure where his father was going with this. 

Han reached into his back pocket, then reached over to hand Ben a small package. It was a three-count box of condoms in the same brand he had bought off Poe. Ben accepted it reluctantly. His father giving him condoms was not a scenario he had envisioned. 

“Don’t tell your mother — and don’t think this is me telling you it’s okay to have sex.” He sighed, dropping his hand down to his lap. “But if you are going to, at least be smarter about it than your sister and whoever she fooled around with.” 

How was he supposed to respond to that? Ben nodded slowly before dropping the box on his desk like it was burning his skin. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks.”

“I don’t care what your friends are saying. Trust me: pulling out isn’t going to cut it, no matter how good you think you are at it. That’s how we got you… and Rey.” And your grandchild, thought Ben. 

Han was moving his hands through the air as he talked. “Again, I think you’re too young to be having sex. But I remember what it was like to be your age.” He gestured toward the box on the desk. “If you need more than that —“

“I won’t.”

Han nodded like he was reassuring himself. “Good. That’s good. I wish I had given them to you sooner. Maybe if I had with Rey…” He frowned. 

Ben stared at his feet awkwardly, hoping his father would decide the conversation was over and leave. It was already skating dangerously toward a sex talk he did not want. 

“Girls always pay the higher cost, even though two people are involved. If Rey keeps the baby, it’s her life that will be affected.“ 

Ben involuntarily pursed his lips at the implication that Rey would not keep their child. 

“She’ll be the one making all the sacrifices. Meanwhile, the guy who got her in this situation will go on living his life like nothing’s changed. That’s not right.” 

Even without making eye contact, Ben could feel the intensity of his father’s gaze. 

“Do you have any idea of who it could be?”

Not lifting his eyes from the ground, Ben shook his head slowly. 

Chapter Text

“It sounded really fast, but the doctor said it was normal.”  They were upstairs in Ben’s room after dinner, filling each other in on their respective afternoons. Rey was gushing over hearing their child’s heartbeat for the first time, a much better story in Ben’s opinion than his retelling of Han’s awkward attempt at promoting safe sex. 

“We made an appointment to get an ultrasound next week. They want to see how far along I am.” Rey shrugged, resettling her legs underneath her. “They asked when I first missed my period, and I told them I had first noticed in July, but it may have been in June. I figured the vaguer the timeline, the better. Really played up being a clueless teenager.” 

“How was the rest of it?”

“Fine. Just normal doctor stuff. They took some blood and gave me a list of foods I’m not supposed to eat anymore. Then they did a vaginal exam which wasn’t fun, but according to your mother, I better get used to people looking down there.” 

She paused, frowning. “On the ride home, Leia asked again if I wanted the baby. She’s not telling me to have an abortion, but I think she is frustrated. She keeps talking about how much work babies are, especially if I’m doing it alone.” Rey picked at the fabric pilling on the comforter. “She said I should talk to the father about it…” 

Ben leaned forward, kissing her forehead. “Well, the father is very happy about it and very in love with you.” He took her hand, squeezing in gently. “You’re going to be an amazing parent, Rey.” 

Rey smiled shyly. “So are you.”

******

The next night after dinner, he and Rey were doing homework in their respective bedrooms when Ben noticed his parents walking in tandem down the hall into Rey’s room. Curious, he lowered his headphones. 

“—the ultrasound next week. We both think it’s really important that the father is there. It’s his child too.” Leia was being gentle, but Ben could detect the underlying firmness in her words. 

“I don’t want him there.” 

“Rey, if you’re going to keep this kid, trust me, you’ll want him there.” Han’s voice was fainter; he must have been further into the room than Leia. “Seeing your child — it does something to a man. When your mother told me she was pregnant with you, it was all abstract until I went to an appointment with Leia and saw Ben. I’m so grateful I could be there for so much of it. You shouldn’t deny the father a chance to be involved.”

Ben had to hand it to his father — the impassioned plea was almost enough to forget that he had been looking for someone to castrate when he learned that his daughter had slept with someone. Or that he had been balancing two pregnant women at the same time. 

“Dad, I don’t want him to be involved. He doesn’t want to be involved.” Rey’s voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper. Ben tiptoed to the doorway of his room; he could see his mother’s back from the sharp angle but no one else. 

“So you told him? Who is it?”

“It doesn’t matter, Dad. He doesn’t want to be a father. Not now, not ever. No ultrasound is going to change that.” She sighed, defeated. 

“It’s not Finn’s, is it? His father was a charmer too.”

“What? No! Of course not — he’s like a brother to me.” 

No one spoke for a moment, the silence in the air palpable. 

“It was just a summer fling,” insisted Rey tiredly. “We were never going to work in the real world. It’s better this way. I’ll love this child, and he can go on living his life uninterrupted.”

As Rey spoke wistfully about her imaginary lover, Ben noticed his mother turn slowly to her left, looking thoughtfully at something on the wall — the collage frame Ben had given Rey for Christmas.  She continued to stare at it, even when the quarrel between Han and Rey picked back up. 

“It doesn’t matter if he wants children or not. He needs to take responsibility for his actions, to support you —“ 

“I don’t need his support!” 

“Do you have any idea how much work a baby is? And how much harder it will be to do it alone?”

“Mum raised me by herself.” Ben could hear the wobble in her voice, the one that always preceded her breaking into tears.

“Your mother was an adult! She was capable of providing for you. And I took responsibility! I may not have been there in person all the time, but I didn’t run away from my obligations. You need to think about this practically. Leia and I can help initially, but what about in five years? Or ten? Think about it, who is going to help you with the kid then?”

Ben was across the hall in two strides. “I will.” He gripped the doorframe to stop himself from rushing further into the room to embrace Rey, who was currently gazing at him adoringly with wet eyes. “I’ll help raise her baby.” 

“Ben.” Leia’s admonishment was gentle, her smile sad. “That’s good of you, but it’s not your responsibility.” 

“So? It’s not yours to look after Rey, but you do. Why can’t I do the same for her child?”

She shook her head. “It’s not the same, Ben.”

“How is it different? She’s my sister. Wouldn’t Luke have done the same for you?”

His mother pursed her lips, eyes flitting to the collage frame again, but it was his father who spoke. 

“Let’s leave your uncle out of this.” He raised his palm toward Ben. “While I’m sure you’ll be a good parent someday, Ben — someday far in the future — your uncle isn’t a great example to use in an argument. No child deserves to have Luke as a father. Thank god he never had any.” 

He nodded toward the door. “Now go back to your room. Your mother and I still need to talk to Rey. Alone.” 

Ben frowned, reluctant to go, but Rey gave him a minute nod. As he turned to leave, he saw his mother’s eyes were still focused on the picture frame. 

******

Despite extended pleas and arguments from his parents, Rey stayed firm in not providing them with a name. The topic seemed to have been dropped for the time being, but all family time was tension-filled, every subject a powder keg. 

“I’m going to visit Breha next weekend,” Leia announced at dinner the night before Rey’s ultrasound. “It’s her birthday soon, and the cousins are having a little get-together to celebrate.” 

Ben frowned. He had thought Breha’s birthday was in the summer — he really ought to pay more attention to these types of things if he was going to be a responsible adult. 

Han sighed. “You weren’t thinking of us all going, were you?”

“No, just me.” Leia looked over a Rey, who was dragging a fork lazily through her mashed potatoes. “Luke will be there.” 

Rey’s eyes shot up, glancing over at Ben momentarily before realizing she shouldn’t. Leia’s eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly. 

“Anyway, while I’m there, I thought I could talk to her about Rey going up to live with her for a bit.” 

“What? Why?” Ben asked automatically. Han and Rey were also looking at Leia quizzically. 

“Well, since there is no father in the picture and Rey hasn’t ruled out adoption yet, it would be a good way to keep everything private and in the family. She could finish out high school in the city.” 

Ben opened his mouth to object, but Han beat him to it.

“We’re not hiding her away like it’s the fifties, Leia. She’s my daughter — she’s staying here with us.” 

Leia put her hands up in surrender but didn’t look too upset by Han’s objection. “Okay, okay. It was just an idea. I was only thinking of Rey and her future.” 

The rest of dinner was awkwardly quiet. 

******

Tuesday was challenging for Ben; Leia picked up Rey from school midday to go for her ultrasound in Cratertown. Even before their unsentimental father had expounded about how transformative the experience had been for him, Ben had wanted to go with her, see their child move, and hear its heartbeat. 

He wanted to be there. Rey wanted him to be there. But there was no way he could be there. Insisting he attend Rey’s ultrasound was a surefire way to arouse unnecessary suspicion into the child’s paternity. This would be another aspect of a normal relationship that they would miss out on, like kissing in public. 

Most days, it was fine; they were used to it. But on others, like this, it was unbearable. What other parts of his child’s life would he miss out on due to the blood he and Rey shared? 

Apparently, he wasn’t the only one having a stressful day. Both Leia and Rey were uncommunicative when they exploded through the front door in the afternoon, accompanied by that aggressive silence that hangs in the air after a fight. 

“So, how did it go?” Han smiled as he leaned on the counter, either oblivious to the hostility or hoping to break it. 

“Fine.” Rey’s voice was clipped. She tossed her shoes on the ground with unnecessary force. “Baby’s fine. Healthy.” 

“Did you get to see it?” Ben couldn’t stop himself from asking, hoping his parents didn’t pick up on the excessive excitement in his voice. 

"One of us did,” Leia huffed as she hung up her coat. “When the technician asked if Rey wanted me to stay, she said no."

“I’m going to go lay down until dinner.” Rey crossed her arms across her chest as she flitted over to the stairs, not acknowledging Leia’s words. 

His mother raised her arms in a helpless, exaggerated gesture, staring at his father.

Han sighed. “I don’t know. What do you want me to say, Leia?”

Leia rolled her eyes and moved over to where they were standing in the kitchen. “I’ve taken time off work two weeks in a row now to take her to doctor’s appointments, and she behaves like that! Silent treatment — the entire car ride home!”

“Well, did you do something that upset her?” Ben cringed at his father’s inability to read the room. 

“What did I do?” Leia gaped at Han. “She’s the one —“  

She paused as if suddenly realizing Ben was there. She cleared her throat and straightened her back. “What I mean is, Rey usually has such a sweet disposition. I don’t know why she is behaving like she is.” 

Han grunted. “Well, maybe she’ll feel better after dinner when she’s eaten.” He turned towards Ben, arms crossed. “Don’t you have homework to do?” 

******

Ben could hear the music blaring through Rey’s door before he even reached the landing. He didn’t bother to knock before he opened it, earning him a scowl from Rey that quickly dissolved into a soft smile when she saw it was him. 

"Ben.” She leapt up from her desk chair, embracing him as he closed the door. Her arms pressed tightly around his back, lingering noticeably longer than usual. 

“Are you okay?”

Rey pulled back, nodding. “Yeah. Your mom’s just being a total bitch.” 

Ben snorted. “What happened?”

Rey rolled her eyes, pulling him by the arm to sit next to her on the bed. “She wouldn’t shut up on the way there about how I needed to decide soon if I was keeping it. When I told her I had already decided and I was, she kept asking all these questions. Like what kind of job I was going to get to support myself and who was going to look after the baby when I was working. Stuff like that.” 

Rey huffed. “Clearly, she doesn’t think I should have it. She was annoying me, so when the tech asked, I decided I didn’t want her there for the ultrasound.” 

“Fair enough.” Ben hadn’t been subjected to an interrogation on the subject, but he had consciously avoided dwelling on those types of overwhelming questions. He knew it would all work out in the end.  “You said the baby’s healthy?”

Rey beamed. “Yes!” She pulled out her phone, swiping open the photos app. “They gave me a few printouts, but the tech let me take some video. Look!”

Rey pressed play on a poorly framed video, off-centeredly capturing a monitor with a fuzzy gray image on it. Even with the poor angle, Ben could make out a head and body. It was a baby, a real baby. 

“That’s its heart.” Rey pointed to a pulsing black spot in the body. “Well, his heart.” 

Ben’s head snapped up to look at Rey, who was biting her lip. 

“His?”

Rey nodded, smiling shyly. “Yeah. A boy.”

Ben felt giddy, his smile foolishly wide. He placed a hand possessively over her belly, which felt firmer and more real than it had just this morning. 

“Ben Junior.”

“No!” Rey laughed, swatting his hand away playfully. 

Chapter Text

Officially in her second trimester, Rey decided it was time to start making the pregnancy public with their peers. Neither of them thought it would go well, but as Rey pointed out, once everyone knew, there would be no going back or talk of hiding her away at Breha’s. 

Rey invited Tallie and Rose over to hang out after school, feeling more comfortable on her own turf. Ben knew it would be odd if he hung out with them since he never had before, but he was not above lurking outside Rey’s closed bedroom door and eavesdropping to make sure everything was going okay. 

After nearly ten minutes of listening to Rose complain about her parents and all the reach schools they wanted her to apply to, Rey finally got to the task at hand. 

“I, uh, have something I need to tell you guys. I’m, uh, pregnant.”

Ben recognized Rose’s laugh, but it was Tallie who spoke. “You’re not joking, are you?” There was a pause during which Ben could hear some movement inside. “Oh, Rey, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just, uh, I wanted you to know. To tell you before it gets around school.” 

“Wait, you’re going to keep it?” The incredulity in Rose’s voice made Ben clench his fist. 

“And you’re sure you’re pregnant? Like, you took a test and everything? I’m only asking because I skipped a period last year when I was stressed from AP tests.”

“Yeah, Leia took me to a doctor and everything. I even have pictures from the ultrasound.” 

Ben heard more shuffling, then an excited squeal from Tallie. “Holy shit, Rey! That’s like a whole baby! How do you have all that inside of you?”

He smiled when he heard Rey laugh. “He’s still little! About the size of an apple.” 

“His head looks like it’s the size of an apple,” teased Tallie. “How are you not huge?”

“I am! Look, you can see the bump when I’m not wearing loose shirts.”

“And here I thought you were just starting to put on some weight like a real American…”

“Tallie!” 

“I’m just saying, you’ve been eating a lot of chocolate recently.”

“Tallie!” Rey sounded lighter and happier than she had since they had broke the news to his parents. Ben was about to return to his room, confident in Rey’s wellbeing, when Rose’s shout cut through their laughter, stopping his retreat. 

“How are the two of you joking right now? This is serious! Rey, you can’t have a baby in high school! You’re seventeen! What about college?”

It was silent for a moment; Ben swore he could hear their breathing through the door. 

“You sound like my stepmom. She doesn’t understand either.” Rey’s voice was deceptively calm, almost tired from revisiting the topic. “I mean, yeah, it probably would have been better if it happened when I was older, but it’s happening now.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Rose, don’t slut-shame her!”

“I’m not slut-shaming her! You and I both have had sex. I’m not saying she shouldn’t have. But Rey, having a baby at our age is a terrible idea. Are you really going to keep it and be a teen mom? Not even, like, put it up for adoption?”

“Yes. I’m keeping it. It will work out. My family will help.” 

Ben heard Rose scoff. “And the father? Who were you having sex with?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Ben hated how small Rey’s voice sounded. “He’s not going to be involved.” 

“He’s said he’s not going to help you out? Well, that’s shitty. Tell me who he is, and I’ll go beat him up.” 

“Forget it, Tallie. I’ll be fine on my own.” 

“You had sex with a guy, he gets you pregnant, and you won’t even tell us who it is? What are you hiding?” Tallie’s voice was gentle, directly contrasting Rose’s accusatory tone. “God, it wasn’t Geno, was it?”

“No! Of course not. I would never do that to you.” 

“You wouldn’t, but he might. It wasn’t, like, an assault or something, was it?” Ben was barely able to catch the stage whisper. “Good. I’m glad to hear that, at least. If it had been, that would have made some of us seem like major assholes.”

“Don’t glare at me like that, Tallie. Regardless of how she got pregnant, I can still think it’s a terrible idea for her to be raising a baby when she should be heading off to college. You should really reconsider, Rey.” 

Ben had had enough. He gave a token knock but didn’t wait for a reply before swinging the door open. Rose was perched on the edge of the bed, near the foot, arms crossed over her chest, face stern. Tallie was practically cuddling Rey at the head of the bed, one arm wrapped protectively around her back. 

“Dad texted; he’s on his way home. Your friends need to leave if you don’t want to be grounded.”

Momentary confusion flashed across Rey’s face before his ruse clicked. “Right, sorry. We’re not allowed to have friends over on school nights, but I wanted to tell you guys in private.”

Tallie kissed Rey’s forehead. “Of course, babe. We’ve got you.” She slid off the bed, grabbing her things off the floor. “We’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?”

Rey nodded, pulling her legs up to her chest as the two made to exit. Rose offered no verbal farewell, but Tallie winked flirtatiously at him as she passed. He watched their descent down the stairs and verified their departure through the front door before returning to Rey’s room. 

“You okay?” Rey nodded half-heartedly as Ben nestled beside her on the bed. 

“I suppose it could have gone worse. At least Tallie doesn’t hate me.”

“Rose doesn’t hate you.” He blushed when Rey quirked an eyebrow. “I may have overheard a bit of what was said.” 

Rey rolled her eyes. Maybe hate isn’t the right word. But she’s one of my closest friends; if she reacted like that, what will everyone at school say?”

Ben frowned and thought for a moment before reaching down to squeeze her hand. “It doesn’t matter what anyone at school thinks or says. We’re going to leave this town after graduation. All that matters is that we have each other.” 

Rey sighed. “Just because it doesn’t matter doesn’t mean it’s not going to hurt.”

******

Ben told Bodhi and Mitaka at lunch. He chose the location deliberately, hoping the news would be overheard and start to spread without Rey having to inform people herself. 

It worked; Lu confronted him at their lockers the next day. 

“There is a rumor going around that your sister is pregnant.” 

“Oh yeah?” Ben gritted his jaw, pointedly focusing on gathering his books for morning classes. 

“Yeah. Speculation is Beau knocked her up at prom.” 

Excellent. The masses were making the paternity assumption they had hoped. 

He turned to face Lu, shrugging. “And what? Are you asking me if it’s true?”

Lu crossed her arms, sending him a sharp look. “Yeah. I am. He and I started hanging out this summer, and he claimed that he was a virgin. So yeah, I’d like to know if the guy I was about to start dating is as good a guy as everyone says he is or if he’s just better at lying than the rest.”

Beau a virgin? Fuck, that would complicate the misdirection. 

Ben stared into his locker to collect himself, sighing deeply before closing the door softly. 

He leaned down, cheek-to-cheek with Lu, lowering his voice like he was sharing a secret, though he knew his words would spread across the school by lunch. “Look, I don’t know about Beau. Rey won’t tell my parents who she slept with. But yeah, she’s pregnant.” 

“And she’s keeping it?” Lu’s voice was skeptical, mirroring his in volume. 

Ben nodded. “Yeah, she is.”

******

As expected, the news spread quickly, aided by Rey no longer actively attempting to hide the small bump on her lower abdomen. Ben had enjoyed the past few months during which he had the secret knowledge that Rey was growing his child inside her. Now it was on display, marking her as his for all the world to see. It stirred an even stronger sense of primal contentment deep inside him, unabated by the fact that no one knew the child was his. 

Rey’s reluctance to name her partner was like blood in the water to the student body, spurring rampant speculation on paternity. Beau had flat out denied that he and Rey had had sex, claiming they were only friends. Hux had backed him up and told everyone that Rey had gone home early after prom, kicking off a theory that she had already been pregnant at prom and suffering from morning sickness. So far, the only person who had been bold enough to ask directly about it was Kaydel, who Rey had summarily told to fuck off. 

There was another rumor flying around that Rey wasn’t naming anyone because the father was actually an adult, and she didn’t want to get him in trouble for having sex with a minor. The most popular bet for those who ascribed to that theory was Mr. Bridger, the young art teacher in whose classroom Rey often spent free periods. He hadn’t returned to teach this year, which only fueled the whispers. 

Ben hated what people were saying when they thought he couldn’t hear, but none more than those about how Rey was a slut or how dumb she was for getting herself pregnant. There was one particularly nasty rumor that Rey refused to name a father because she couldn’t, that she had slept with so many guys that she didn’t know who the father was. 

Ben had come close several times to throwing a punch when he heard some of the more egregious gossip. Only knowing it would make it worse for Rey had stopped him — though he had nearly given in to the temptation the day he heard Poe was running a Rey Clarke discount on condoms, purportedly to promote safe sex. 

Rey was putting on a brave face at school, but it was an act. Each day that week, she started crying as soon as they exited the school parking lot; all her suppressed emotions from the day finally allowed a release valve. She assured him it was just stress and that she really didn’t care what people thought, but he knew she was lying. While they had prepared for the judgment from their peers, neither had anticipated the cool reception she was getting from the staff. 

Whether it was from the rumors about Mr. Bridger, or the general belief that good students didn’t get pregnant, they both noticed a shift in how teachers treated her. Mrs. Vaunk had looked scandalized when Rey had asked her for a college recommendation letter despite having selected her for an English award junior year. 

At least her friends were supportive. While it was clear Rose still didn’t agree with Rey’s choices, she also didn’t abandon her. After a week, Rey reported that their daily interactions were essentially back to normal as long as the conversation stayed away from the contentious topic. However, Rose was no longer allowed to socialize with Rey outside of school per some fantastical belief of her parents that hanging out with Rey would increase Rose’s likelihood of becoming a teen parent. 

Tallie, on the other hand, was steadfast. She didn’t just stand by Rey; she doubled down on their friendship. She became Ben’s counterpart, stepping into the role of Rey’s protector during the parts of the day Ben couldn’t be with her. 

When the gaggle of girls they usually had lunch with started treating Rey like she was diseased, Tallie had marched across the cafeteria and slammed her and Rey’s trays down at his table. His friends were too in awe of Tallie and respectful of Ben to object. Ben suspected the way Bodhi stared at Tallie’s tits was another reason neither of them put up much protest when the presence of the girls became a daily occurrence. 

******

It took a few weeks, but the novelty of Rey’s pregnancy eventually wore off, and things settled into a new normal. Without new information, the same theories could only be rehashed so many times before people got bored and moved on to other topics, like the upcoming Homecoming dance, and if the real reason Carise had dumped DJ was that he was a kleptomaniac. 

It also meant that he and Rey had gotten back to their normal routine as well. No longer needing to help her recover emotionally from the school day meant that they had been able to resume their physical intimacy during their afternoon alone time. 

“I think they’re still getting bigger.” Ben’s hands explored Rey’s breasts gently, mindful of their increased sensitivity. 

Rey groaned. “I hope not. I’m down to, like, two bras that fit.”

Ben smirked, mouthing a tender kiss beside her right nipple. “Just stop wearing them. I won’t mind.” He squeezed her other breast, earning a squeal. “Easy access.”

“I think you already have plenty of easy access.” Ben smiled, leaving kisses along the underside of her breast, enjoying the satisfied little moans and squirms she made. 

He got a thrill as his hand moved lower, outlining the shape of the precious flesh that contained his child. Rey’s belly had noticeably popped recently, creating a silhouette that never failed to arouse him despite never previously thinking he would find a visibly pregnant woman sexually attractive. Whether it was the proof of his own virility that made his testosterone surge or the debauched innocence of Rey’s body, he couldn’t get enough.

He was just beginning to ghost his fingers over the top of Rey’s slit when she went still, bringing her hand to Ben’s shoulder to halt his movements. Her face was twisted in deep concentration, the same expression she wore anytime she thought she heard something that would portend their immediate discovery. Ben froze, straining his ears to listen for any indication that one of his parents had come home early. 

Rey slowly lowered a hand down to rest on her abdomen. Ben was captivated as he watched her face transform from apprehension to elation. 

“Ben! I can feel him move!”

Relief flooded him and was quickly replaced by excitement. “Really? Where?”

Rey grabbed his hand, pulling it upward to the top of her belly. “Right there! Can you feel it?”

Ben felt nothing. Rey’s skin was warm and smooth, but it was utterly quiet beneath his palm. 

He frowned. “Is he still moving?” 

Rey nodded eagerly. “Yeah. He’s tapping away. You can’t feel it?”

Ben shook his head, crestfallen. “No.” He painstakingly skated his hand over the area, hunting fruitlessly for vibrations. “I don’t feel anything.” 

Rey’s smile faded. “It’s subtle. Might just be gas.” 

Ben knew the backtracking was solely for his benefit. He shook his head, forcing himself to smile. “No, it’s good you can feel him.” He shrugged. “I guess I’ll just have to wait a little longer.” 

Rey placed her hand over his comfortingly, smiling gently. “You’ll feel him soon. I promise.” 

Chapter Text

After the blowup at the first ultrasound, Rey declared that she did not want Leia accompanying her to any future appointments. While their relationship had thawed since the inciting incident, it was still stilted a few weeks later when Rey was due for her next check-up. She was adamant that Leia would not be going with her, claiming that she would simply drive herself, seemingly with little regard for the fact that doing so would leave Ben without a vehicle and that he would be forced to take the bus home, and that, frankly — at least in Ben’s opinion – she was a fairly unpracticed (bad) driver.  

Leia had simply shrugged and made a comment about how she would appreciate not having to take time off work to ferry Rey to her appointment and that it would be good for Rey to get used to doing things on her own as she would be doing a lot of it in the future as a single mother. Ben was thankful his mother didn’t notice the scowl he made. 

Han had intervened before their sniping could escalate further, asserting that Cratertown was too far for Rey to travel alone in her condition and that he would drive her instead, even offering to wait in the car if she wanted to attend the appointment alone. That seemed to fully satisfy neither Leia nor Rey, but Ben was happy with the compromise; their father would make sure Rey was safe and not upset her with badgering about future plans. 

The new arrangement went even better than Ben had hoped. Dedicated time alone with Han did wonders for Rey’s disposition, ensconcing her in unconditional support that counteracted the pressure she was feeling from Leia and others about impending responsibility. She even permitted him to come into the exam room for the check-up, though Rey later shared with Ben that he had spent the appointment staring at the wall. Still, Rey found his presence comforting, the next best thing to Ben himself being there with her. 

In Ben’s mind, the greatest benefit from the father-daughter bonding time was Han’s abandonment of his paternity quest. On one of their drives, Rey confided to him how much the entire topic upset her to talk about. After assuring him it had been consensual, but the aftermath was emotionally painful, Han promised to never again ask her about the baby’s father. Not during pregnancy, not after. The child was Rey’s — full stop — that’s all that mattered. 

Saturday afternoon found the two Solo men alone at the house together. Leia was off doing something for her women’s group, and Rey was over Tallie’s helping her get ready for the Homecoming dance. With Han likely occupied watching college football, Ben already had plans to knock out a few League matches, something he was finding he had less time to do recently. 

Unfortunately, his father’s plans for the afternoon apparently involved Ben. When he came in the front door after dropping Rey at Tallie’s, Han was lying in wait in the kitchen, scrolling through something on his tablet.

“Welcome back! What are you getting up to the rest of the day?”

Ben eyed his father suspiciously as he toed off his shoes, choosing his answer carefully. “Homework.”

Han waved his hand dismissively. “Ah, that can wait. Come sit down with me for a bit.”

Ben frowned but reluctantly walked over, pulling out a chair around the corner of the island from his father. 

“I feel like we haven’t had a chance to talk recently. We’ve been so focused on your sister that I worry your mother and I have been neglecting you.”

Ben shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me.”

“It bothers me," said Han. “Everything’s been so busy with Rey that I hardly know what’s going on with you. I didn’t even realize you weren’t going to Homecoming until Rey mentioned it was this weekend.” 

“It’s not a big deal; I didn’t go last year either.” Ben traced a pattern on the countertop, avoiding eye contact. 

“Did you not go because of Rey?” Ben snapped his head up; his father was looking at him seriously.“I know you love her.” Ben felt his stomach drop. “I’m happy you’ve grown close. I truly am. When I first brought her to live with us, I was worried that it would be a bit like mixing oil and water.” 

Han shook his head, sighing. “Lord knows your mothers never meshed well.”  He leaned onto his forearms like he was grounding himself. “But Ben, you aren’t responsible for Rey’s choices. She decided on this path, not you. You shouldn’t miss out on the fun of being a teenager because of her. Rey not going to the dance doesn’t mean you couldn’t have gone.”

His father’s face was earnest; he didn’t suspect anything illicit between them. Ben breathed easier as the twisting sensation left his gut. 

“It didn’t feel right, going without her. Rose and Tallie are going; I didn’t want her to be alone.” Ben rolled his socked toes against the chair rail, burning off nervous energy to keep himself calm. 

Han sighed. “Ben, as much as we don’t like it, Rey’s going to miss out on a lot of things kids your age get to experience. If you limit yourself to only things she can do, you wouldn’t have been able to eat a turkey sandwich for lunch today, or go to college next year, or —“

“Rey’s going to college.” 

Han frowned. “Someday, hopefully. But not next year. Probably the community college up in Cratertown in a few years.” He smiled weakly. “Hopefully.”

“We applied to all the same schools.” Ben crossed his arms petulantly. “I’ll be there to help. She won’t be doing it alone.” 

“No, this is exactly what I’m talking about.” Han wagged his finger angrily. “College is meant to be a time of freedom. You’re meant to go to parties, meet people, and explore new ideas. You won’t experience all that if you’re stuck at home taking care of a baby.” 

"Rey’s baby,” Ben said coldly. 

Han groaned in exasperation. “Right. Rey’s, not yours. You can’t put your life on hold for your sister.” 

“Why not?”

“Why not?” Han gaped at him with incredulity. “Look at Luke! He was so dedicated to being there for your mother that he forwent living his own life to make sure she was happy. Do you really want to end up as a sad, middle-aged bachelor who has never had a healthy adult relationship because he’d rather live in a parallel reality?”

“Luke seems to be doing fine.” Ben nearly choked on his own words. How had he come to defend Luke of all people?

Han rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. Ben narrowed his eyes. 

“If you dislike him so much, why did you have us spend the summer with him?”

Han’s face scrunched in anger. “Your mother assured me it would be fine. She’s always had a blind spot when it comes to Luke. I had my doubts, but I didn’t realize how inattentive a guardian he would be.” Han sighed, slumping against the chair back. “Of course, I also didn’t realize I had to worry about my children sneaking out at night for trysts.” He gave his son a pointed look. 

Ben frowned. “We didn’t sneak out at night.”

Han raised a calming hand. “Ben, it’s fine. What’s done is done. I’m not going to punish you for it. Teenagers sneak out; it’s a right of passage. I did it too when I was your age.”

Ben shook his head. “I’m not lying. Luke always writes at night. We couldn’t have snuck out if we wanted to.” He shrugged. “Which we didn’t, because there was nowhere to go up there. We spent most of our free time on the lake, just like last summer.” And the rest of it fucking each other silly…

Han pursed his lips, looking at him in consideration for a moment. “You didn’t hang out with any of the other kids your age at the lake?” Ben shook his head. “Did you ever leave the cabin?” 

Ben rolled his eyes. “Of course, it wasn’t like we were prisoners. It was my job to run errands into town.” 

“What about your sister? Did she make friends with anyone around town or the lake?” Han’s tone was strangely curious. 

Ben shrugged. “Not that I know of. I guess Luke could have had visitors or gone somewhere when I was in town, but neither of them ever mentioned it. I think Rey was just typing up papers for Luke while I was gone.”

Han’s face was serious; this wasn’t a casual conversation for him any longer. “Did you do a lot of errands in town on your own?”

Ben nodded. “Yeah, I guess. At least twice a week.” 

Han’s lips were pursed tightly. “How was your sister with Luke? Did they get along?”

Ben could feel his heart beating rapidly from the looming deception. “Yeah, I think so. She never complained about spending all that time working with him.” He tilted his head. “Well, almost never.” 

“What do you mean?”

“There was a small stretch where things seemed off between them.” He wiped his palms on his jeans.  “Rey said it was nothing, that she was just upset he had cut all the scenes she typed to go in a different direction. I don’t get why she cared so much— she was getting paid the same regardless.” 

“What about Luke?”

Ben shrugged. “In the beginning, he was really friendly and spent a lot of time with us, but once the big rewrite happened, he was focused on his work and mostly ignored us.” 

“When did that start?”

Ben looked up at the ceiling. “Mid to late June? Definitely before the Fourth.” 

“And everything was fine between Rey and Luke after that?” Ben could practically see the gears spinning in his father’s head. 

“Yeah? I mean, maybe a little more distant, but they still were together all the time.” He looked up at the ceiling in a way that he hoped made him look thoughtful but was really to avoid his father’s eyes.  “He was nice to her on her mom’s birthday.”

"Qi’ra’s birthday?”

“Yeah. She was crying and really upset about it. She didn’t want to talk to me, but Luke comforted her.” Ben wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep building the lie, sure he would make it too complicated, lay it on too thick, or implicate himself some other way. “Why does it matter?”

Han twisted his lip. “Just thinking.”

They sat in silence a moment while Ben debated the best way to exit the conversation. Fortunately, his father did it for him. 

“You should go start your homework.” 

Ben bolted. 

Chapter Text

It was Wednesday, and Ben was looking forward to a few hours alone at the house. Han was scheduled to pick up Rey from school in the afternoon for her twenty-week ultrasound, which would give Ben several uninterrupted hours before his mother came home from work. 

While he loved spending time with Rey, especially time alone with Rey, there was something different about the peaceful solitude of an otherwise empty house. Whereas a year ago, he would have prioritized an unrushed wank, roaming around the shared living spaces with some trivial snooping oddly felt more appealing. Being completely alone had been a rare occurrence since Rey had moved in, and he was going to enjoy it. Maybe get some League in. 

His plans were thrown off when his sixth-period teacher got a call to send him to the front office for an early dismissal around the time he knew Rey was supposed to be picked up. Sure enough, she and Han were waiting for him outside the office door. Han muttered a greeting and quickly ushered them out the main entrance before Ben could ask what was going on. He lifted an eyebrow at Rey, who just shrugged and followed their father to the parking lot. 

When they reached the car, Han turned to face them. 

“Chewie got food poisoning from a breakfast burrito. I have to stay at the garage this afternoon.” He looked over at Ben. “I need you to drive Rey to her appointment. I told the school you had to go to the dentist.” 

“You want Ben to take me to my ultrasound?” Rey adjusted her hold on the strap of her book bag. Ben frowned; he wondered if it was heavier than she should be carrying. 

Han nodded. “Yeah. You have the address, right? Same place you went the first time.” Rey nodded cagily, stealing a glance over at Ben.

“Look, let’s not tell Leia about this, okay?” Han lowered his voice conspiratorially. “I’ll try to close the shop up early and get home before her, but if she gets there first, just tell her I’m picking up dinner.”

“Are you?” Ben asked. “Picking up dinner?”

Han rolled his eyes. “Yes. Fine.”

“Pizza. With cheesy bread.” 

Han raised a hand placatingly at Rey. “Yes, if it will buy your silence. Now get going — you don’t want to be late. He shooed them away. “And drive carefully!”

Ben and Rey scuttled to the student parking lot, grinning uncontrollably at each other once their backs were to Han. Ben was exhilarated; it was like they were playing hooky, the thrill undiminished by it being parentally sanctioned. Spending time alone with Rey out in the world was one of his favorite things. So much of their relationship was restricted to the shadows. 

Once the car doors closed, Rey let out a squeal of excitement. “I can’t believe you get to come with me! Ben, this is going to be amazing!”

Ben couldn’t stop smiling; Rey was glowing, also grinning madly. She made a cursory exam of the lot around her before leaning over the center console and kissing him on the lips soundly. He nearly whined when she pulled away. 

“We should get going,” she said softly, cheeks flushed. She fussed with her phone, pulling up the driving directions as he navigated to the main road. 

The drive was pleasant, a straight shot north on the highway alongside trees covered in a melange of yellow, red, and orange leaves. He and Rey fell into easy conversation, mostly about mundane goings-on with their classmates and a bit about his parents. He had already decided to not fill her in on the awkward conversation with Han from the weekend. While he knew she had exaggerated to their father how upsetting discussing the baby’s father was to get him to stop asking, Ben also knew it was truthfully a significant cause of emotional stress for her. The topic had been tormenting her since the summer when she first realized the danger of suspicion falling to Ben, leading to her freaking out, and flinging herself into his uncle’s bed. No need to rekindle that fire. 

Ben had also not told her about Han’s concern that he was putting his life on hold for her. Beyond it not being true, he knew it would upset her and create more friction at home. He was going to be there for Rey. Forever. 

As they exited the highway and approached the imaging center, Rey provided him with more detail on what to expect logistically at the appointment. He was surprised to learn that the ultrasound wouldn’t be done by a doctor but rather by a sonographer in a completely different building than her physician’s office. 

Ben took a seat in the waiting room while Rey signed in at the front counter. After settling down in the chair beside him, she reached over and took his hand. At first, it startled him; he was so accustomed to concealing their relationship that even this felt like a bold display of public affection. 

They didn’t have to wait long before her name was called. A technician who introduced herself as Joy led them back into a patent room and directed Rey onto the exam table. 

“Are you excited to see your baby today?”

Former Ben would have rolled his eyes at the rhetorical questions, but he was genuinely excited. Rey had sent him the video from her earlier visit but had promised him that being there in person would be better. 

Joy dimmed the lights and sat down in front of the machine. “Today, we’ll be doing some anatomy checks, making sure organs are developing correctly, and taking measurements to estimate the baby’s size and weight. Have you decided if you want to know the gender?”

“It’s a boy.”

Joy chuckled. “Well, I guess we know what Dad wants!” Ben’s heart swelled with pride at her referring to him as the father. 

“I didn’t have an ultrasound until my second trimester. They were able to tell the gender then,” explained Rey. 

Joy nodded. “Gotcha. Well, we’ll take a look this time too. And hopefully, get you some good pictures.” She winked. 

Ben watched as Rey rolled up her sweatshirt and helped Joy tuck a paper sheet over the waistband of her bottoms. 

Once Joy squirted gel and began to move the want against Rey’s skin, fuzzy gray masses appeared on the screen. Ben didn’t recognize anything as remotely baby-like; he subconsciously leaned forward as if getting closer to the screen would make the images clearer. 

His confusion made sense when Joy explained she was first examining the placenta and Rey’s cervix. Ben had an extremely vague understanding of both of those and was suddenly grateful he couldn’t make out much detail. He wasn’t sure if he had blushed or pulled a face, but when he looked up at Rey, she had an amused grin that he knew was at his expense. 

After that embarrassing moment, Joy moved on, and the screen was filled with an image Ben would remember for the rest of his life. 

He first registered a squirmy oval pressed next to a circle, and then the profile of a face. 

His father had been right; seeing his child made it real. So much more than watching Rey’s body grow or discussing it ever could. There was an actual human in there; their human. He now knew in his gut, in a way that had only been intellectual before, that he would never let any harm come to their child. He would burn down cities and fight menacing hordes — whatever was necessary to protect this family. 

He absently felt Rey grab and squeeze his hand. He managed to tear his gaze away from the screen to look at her. Her eyes were teary, but she was smiling broadly. Ben returned the smile, not realizing he was also crying until he felt the tear roll down his cheek. 

He was in a daze the rest of the appointment, brimming with a mix of emotions as Joy pointed out anatomical features and took measurements. His face hurt from smiling, and his throat ached from repressed tears. 

He was still floating on a wave of dopamine thirty minutes later when he waited in the hall while Rey used the restroom, grinning stupidly at the grayscale images on the thermal paper; his son was perfect. 

He slid the photos into his coat pocket when Rey emerged, doing his best to actually listen to what she was saying and not let his mind drift back to the scan. Once they were settled in the car, he reluctantly passed them over to Rey, wishing he could keep a printout for himself. People might start asking questions if they saw him mooning over a sonogram during class; a digital version would be easier to conceal. 

Rey seemed equally entranced by the photos; when he glanced over to the passenger’s seat, she was tracing the curve of the baby’s spine with her index finger, smiling softly. 

“I couldn’t stop looking at him either,” confessed Ben bashfully. “I think I’ve already memorized every detail in those pictures.” 

“I’m just relieved he’s healthy,” said Rey. “This was the big one where they check for all kinds of problems like organs not developing like they should. But he’s fine.” 

“He’s perfect." In his peripherals, Rey nodded in agreement. 

“I wish it said Solo,” Ben admitted quietly a few minutes later. “In the corner: Solo rather than Clarke.”

Rey let out a contented hum. “I wish I could name you as the father too.” 

Ben shook his head. “No, not just that. It’s your name on the picture. I wish it read Rey Solo, not Clarke.” He took a hand off the steering wheel to grasp her thigh. “I’d marry you if I could. You know that, right?” He looked over at her, eyes desperate. 

Rey nodded, smiling gently. As he turned his attention back to the road, Rey peeled his hand off her leg, clasping it between both of hers. 

“I know, Ben. I know how much you love me. How much you love us." She set their entwined hands against her stomach. “It will be okay. My parents never got married either.” 

Ben rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because Dad was already married to my mom.” 

He shot Rey a short but meaningful look. “But you’re the only one for me. Ever.” He pulled their joined hands up to his mouth and pecked the back of hers before returning his to the wheel. 

“I know, but it’s always nice to hear.” Rey sighed contentedly, leaning back against the headrest and tilting her face toward the car roof wistfully. “Being married isn’t important to me. I just don’t want to be alone.” 

“You won’t be. We’ll just live in sin.” 

Rey laughed. “I fucked my brother and am carrying his child. How much more sinful can I get?”

Ben smirked. “I don’t know, but I’m willing to find out.”

******

Rey was much more generous in sharing the sonogram photos than she had been the first time, nearly shoving them in her father’s face before he had even set the pizza box down on the counter. 

Han accepted them gingerly, flipping through them methodically. “Everything looked good then? I’m guessing yes, with the way you’re practically glowing.”

She was glowing, though Ben liked to think the orgasm he had coaxed out of her ten minutes earlier when they were purportedly studying had something to do with it as well. 

Rey smiled, taking back the proffered photos. “Yeah. He’s healthy.” 

“He?” Han broke into a grin. “You’re having a boy?”

Rey nodded excitedly, opening her mouth to respond when they heard a car pull into the driveway. 

“Shit.” Han ran a hand through his hair. “Remember, I was the one that took you to your appointment.” He wagged a finger at Ben. “And you were at school all day. Got it?” He tossed his head toward the dining room. “Now go get the table ready for dinner.”

Leia was through the door before they finished putting away textbooks. She greeted them before catching sight of the pizza box and raising an eyebrow accusingly at her husband. 

Han shrugged. “Rey’s appointment ran late, so I ordered dinner instead of cooking.”

Leia looked unamused but seemed to accept the excuse. “How did the appointment go?”

“Good. It went good, er, well. Baby’s healthy.” Ben rolled his eyes. How had this man been able to keep a second child secret from his wife for years when he struggled with this level of deception? 

Rey took mercy on her father, walking into the kitchen and offering the prints to Leia. “He was squirmy, but the tech managed to get a few good shots of him.”

Leia reached out slowly to accept the scans like she was afraid Rey might snatch them away if she seemed too eager. 

“Oh!” His mother’s hand flew to her throat as she saw the top photo. She looked back up at Rey, eyes already watery. “Rey, he’s so precious!”

Rey wrapped her arms around her torso anxiously, rolling forward on the balls of her feet. “Yeah, I think so too.” Ben could hear the crackle in her voice.

“Oh, come here!” Leia moved swiftly, pulling Rey into a tight embrace. Rey’s back was to Ben, but his mother’s face looked relieved, her eyes closed as she took several deep breaths. 

After a moment during which Ben and his father stayed still as silent spectators, Leia loosened her grasp and pulled back slightly to look Rey in the eyes. 

“Being a mother is difficult, Rey. It’s challenging and thankless, but still the best decision I ever made in my life. We’ll all be here for you.” She pulled away, wiping her eye, which Ben now noticed were watery. “I may only be your stepmother, but you better believe I’m going to be that child’s grandmother!”

God, if she only knew. 

Chapter Text

“Are you feeling okay, Rey? You haven’t touched your grilled cheese.” Tallie’s brow furrowed, eyeing Rey across the table with concern. Ben snapped his neck to the left to see how Rey responded, his own meal forgotten.

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine.”Rey picked up the sandwich. “Just got distracted. The baby is kicking a lot today.”

“Really?” Tallie squealed. “Can I feel?” She was out of her chair and moving to their side of the cafeteria table before Rey could respond, the grilled cheese still held aloft, suspended in the air. 

Tallie slid sideways into the empty seat beside Rey, hovering her palms over her belly like she was getting ready to tell a fortune in a crystal ball.

“Here.” Rey touched a spot on the upper right of her abdomen. “Though I doubt you’ll be able to feel anything.” 

Ben watched over Rey’s shoulder as Tallie placed her hand where indicated, her eyes lighting up excitedly. 

“You can feel it?” Ben stammered. 

Tallie nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, it’s like a little thrum.”

Rey turned her head towards him, catching his eye over her shoulder. “Do you want to feel?”

Her words were soft and intimate, spoken like they were at home, alone in his bedroom. He nodded, speechless. 

Rey’s eyes twinkled as she swiveled in her chair to angle her front towards him. As he lifted his hand up, she clasped it, guiding it to rest against the fabric of her shirt, placing her hand on top of his. 

For a moment, there was nothing. 

But then, just as he was beginning to doubt he would ever get to experience it, he was able to detect movement. First a nudge, then another one. 

His son. He was feeling his son move. His eyes locked with Rey’s, and for a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the universe. 

“Bodhi, Mitaka: do either of you want to feel?” Tallie’s voice interrupted the trance. “It’s really cool.” 

Mitaka shook his head with a fervor that would have been excessive if he had been asked to deliver the baby. Bodhi seemed less intimidated but equally uninterested, uttering a rapid and unequivocal, “No, thank you.” 

That was fine, really. Ben didn’t want to share this moment with anyone else. He had Rey, and they had their son. That was enough. 

******

Ben was riding high the rest of the day from feeling his son kick. Rey had told him the baby was most active at night, but that hadn’t stopped him from caressing her belly hopefully as they laid in his bed after school. 

“I can’t wait until we move out, and I can hold you whenever I want.” Ben nuzzled beneath her ear, where he knew she was ticklish. “The bedroom, the living room, the kitchen. Wherever and whenever we want.”

Rey snickered, wriggling playfully away from his nose. “The kitchen? You think I’m going to be your little domestic wife?” 

“Well, you were barefoot there the other day…” She swatted his upper arm, and he pulled her closer, dropping a few pecks on her neck. “No, you know I’m a better cook than you. Though I wish the wife part were real.” 

“You most certainly are not a better cook than me. Making sandwiches doesn’t count as cooking.” She sighed. “I wish the wife part could be real too.” 

Ben didn’t say anything at first, stroking her belly absently. “If we could get married, do you think you’d take my name?”

“What, Solo?” She hummed in consideration. “Maybe. People would just think it was from Dad.”

“But we’d know.” Ben propped himself up on his elbow so he could better face her. 

“Mmm. You really like the idea of sharing a name, huh?” 

Ben smiled warmly, bobbing his head shyly. He lifted his hand from her belly to catch hers. “It declares to the world that we’re together. That we’re a family.”

“Your mom didn’t take Dad’s name.” Rey lifted an eyebrow. 

Ben rolled his eyes. “My mom thinks women taking their husband’s names is some kind of sexism — erases their identity or something.” Ben couldn’t remember her exact arguments, just that it was a sentiment Lucinda had shared with his mother and bonded over one of the few times she had joined them for dinner. 

Rey shrugged. “Or maybe she didn’t want to change her name again. She was born a Skywalker, right?”

Ben twisted his lip thoughtfully; that was a possibility. 

“Solo’s not a bad name. Leia Solo works, but I do think Leia Organa sounds better. Same with Leia Skywalker — it’s just okay. Overall, Skywalker is a pretty cool name — I get why Luke chose to publish under it — but it sounds ridiculous with a lot of first names. Like, Rey Skywalker sounds terrible.” 

Ben pulled a face. Rey giggled. “What? How names sound is important! Why do you think girls doodle their names with their crush’s in school? Like Elthree — part of the reason she took Lando’s name was how much she hated her maiden name. Even though it’s long, she thought it was an upgrade from Vuffi.” 

Ben smirked. “Would Rey Solo be an upgrade?”

Rey grinned, shaking her head amusedly. “Maybe.” She took a cleansing breath. “I know my mother never would have changed hers. I know this is all hypothetical, but maybe it’d be the same with me.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “It’s not like it’s hereditary; you can change your name even if your mother didn’t.”

Rey smiled, and Ben realized she was teasing him. She tilted her head, looking up at him thoughtfully. “Did Leia follow in her mother’s footsteps? Or did your grandmother take on the ridiculous Skywalker name?”

Ben frowned. His grandparents were still very much a mystery to him. “I’m not sure. I think so.” 

Rey lifted herself up to her elbows. “Yeah, I think it was pretty uncommon not to back then.” She shrugged. “Want to have sex before Dad gets home?”

******

Later that night, after Rey had gone to sleep, the conversation about maiden names returned to the forefront of Ben’s mind. The article Rey had found on the fansite in June had listed his grandmother as Amidala Skywalker,  but her family called her Padme. What if, like Luke, she had both a legal name and a common one that people actually used? 

Heart-racing, he popped open a new browser window on his computer, searching for Padme Naberrie, her maiden name. 

Jackpot. 

The results page returned a few pages of links to sites about the ERA and women’s rights. With it right in front of him, Ben now recalled some passing mentions of his grandmother’s advocacy work. 

He clicked through the first few pages, but they were all about protests and causes, nothing about her death. Pressing his lips together tightly, he added Kenobi to the search terms. 

The top result was an older article by O.W. Kenobi, Reflecting on the Legacy of Padme Naberrie and the Progress on Violence Against Women, 25 Years Later. 

This July will mark twenty-five years since the death of Padme Naberrie, one of the midwest’s most ardent and vocal second-wave feminists. During her life, Naberrie advocated for numerous women’s rights of the era, including reproductive freedom and the Equal Rights Amendment. Although Naberrie is no longer with us, her fight lives on… 

Nearest to Naberrie’s heart was the plight of those fleeing intimate partner violence. She was a champion of financial independence, a founding member of the region’s first women-owned credit union. Naberrie was on the vanguard of recognizing how intertwined the themes were; today, financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases. 

Naberrie fought tirelessly for marital rape to be outlawed, something that would not happen nationally until 1993. Even today, many states have loopholes in these laws involving a victim’s capacity to consent, use of force, and nature of penetration. Were she still alive today, Naberrie would undoubtedly be fighting to make spousal rape an undeniable crime everywhere. According to the CDC, 9% of women have been raped by an intimate partner, with national surveys placing the percentage of women raped within marriage between 10 and 14%. 

Naberrie’s death was a horrifying reminder that all women are susceptible to violence, regardless of wealth or class. Her social work and awareness did not protect her from falling victim to it.  Twenty-five years after her death, homicide remains the leading cause of death among pregnant women in the US. A staggering 24% of all women report having experienced some form of intimate partner violence. At the time of her death —

The article continued, comparing the state of violence against women between 1986 and 2011. Ben skimmed it for more mentions of his grandmother’s name, stopping cold at the italic text at the bottom of the page. 

Naberrie was four months pregnant when she was killed in a domestic dispute with her husband in 1986. 

Ben’s mouth went dry. It was his grandfather who killed his grandmother, not Kenobi? That couldn’t be right; the article from the summer had said Kenobi was charged with both their deaths. 

He scrolled quickly to the top of the page; the author’s name was hyperlinked, taking him to a profile page. The headshot showed a pale, old man with a full white beard and bright blue eyes. The short biography noted that he was a guest columnist for the blog site, a Vietnam veteran, and the retired founder of a non-profit focused on mental health in the armed forces. The headlines of his other linked articles dropped buzzwords like toxic masculinity and stopping the cycle of violence . 

It took a few tries, but Ben found the website for the non-profit, Soldier’s Heart. Kenobi was listed on the board of directors, but the real find was buried in the History section of the About Us page. 

In the summer of 1986, O.W. Kenobi made a visit to the home of a close friend and fellow veteran. The man and his wife were arguing, a conflict that soon escalated when the husband attacked his pregnant wife. Kenobi attempted to defuse the situation peacefully, but his friend did not back down. The incident ended violently, with both the friend and his wife dead. After years of trying to make sense of the tragedy, Kenobi realized that his friend’s violence stemmed from untreated PTSD. He founded Soldier’s Heart in 1990 with a mission to provide other veterans the mental health resources they need to prevent similar tragedies from occurring. 

Ben pulled back from the screen, stunned and trying to pull it all together. Unless the author had multiple pregnant friends killed that year, the friend referred to had to be his grandfather. Which meant O.W. Kenobi was almost certainly the Obadiah Kenobi that had been charged with their deaths. But from what he read today, his grandfather, not Kenobi, killed his grandmother. 

That couldn’t be right. Both instances of that version of events were written by Kenobi, hardly an impartial source. He needed some other evidence. He bit his lip, thinking back to what had kicked off this genealogical chase at the beginning: an alleged comment from Luke in the 90s that the Skywalker family had inspired his first book. 

Ben navigated to the plot section of the novel’s Wikipedia page. The protagonist’s parents were killed in a fire at the start, which he had assumed, but never confirmed, was the detail that Luke had been alluding to. He scrolled further on the page, reading about the youth joining forces with two travelers on a quest: a girl who was clearly the female love interest and a young traveler who treated the hero like a brother. 

Ben had to force himself not to skim the multiple paragraphs describing their adventures and the different species they encountered; he didn’t want to miss any potential evidence. There were hints throughout the book that the title jewel was cursed, infecting the protagonist with anger and suspicion. In the book’s climax, the love interest, now newly pregnant with the hero’s child, confronted him about the dark magic. Influenced by the stone, he was convinced she was conspiring with the traveler-brother against him, and he strangled her. 

The brother-figure stepped in to stop him, and they engaged in a long fight, ending when the necklace holding the jewel was torn off, returning the protagonist to his senses. They rushed back to the girl, who was alive, but gravely injured, with the hero deciding to sacrifice the stone’s power to save her life. They crushed the jewel into a powder to feed his wife, reviving her. The book ended with the implication that their son would be immortal since he had absorbed the stone’s healing powers in the womb.

There it was, in black-and-white. His grandparents hadn’t survived, but Ben could see the parallels. His grandfather had killed his grandmother; how could his mother have kept that critical detail from him? 

His shock quickly gave way to anger. He stood, his breaths coming rapidly. His blood felt like it was coursing with energy, but he had nowhere to focus it. He wanted to yell and cry. 

He would end this. He wrenched open his bedroom door, heading downstairs to find his mother. 

Except she wasn’t on the main level; the kitchen light was on, but she wasn’t there. He was confused for a minute, then heard noise from the basement. Descending the stairs, he saw his mother folding laundry as she watched a baking competition on Netflix. 

“Ben, what are you doing up?” 

“You said your parents were murdered, but you didn’t tell me your dad killed your mom.” He strained to keep his voice at a reasonable volume. 

His mother’s knuckles tightened around one of his T-shirts. He held her gaze, refusing to break eye contact first. 

Leia sighed, closing her eyes and lowering her hands to her lap. “No, I didn’t. This is the type of detail I didn’t want to get into.”

“Why not? Why would you not tell me?” Ben felt the back of his throat begin to burn.

“I wanted to protect you from it.”

“Protect me? Ben yelled. “So rather than hearing it from you, I learn about it on my own?”

His mother didn’t try to argue; she simply looked defeated.  “Luke and I had to grow up knowing what happened with our parents.” Her words were spoken softly, neither defensive nor contrite. “It was a difficult burden to bear. I didn’t want you to have to carry it, ever.” 

It was silent for a moment, only interrupted by the sound of his own breath. “Why did he do it?” He finally whispered. 

She shook her head. “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “The generally accepted theory is he thought she was having an affair with his friend.” 

“Kenobi,” supplied Ben. 

Leia nodded. “Maybe she was; he was around a lot.” 

Ben took a step closer. “What happened to him — your father?” 

“He was badly injured in the fight with Obi. He died in the hospital a few days later.” She pursed her lips. “It wasn’t talked about at the time, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve wondered if it wasn’t some form of suicide. My father loved my mother more than anything; he would have rather died than be without her.” 

“Kenobi was charged with their murders,” said Ben carefully. 

A brief nod. “Yes. The police’s initial theory was that Obi had been the one to attack my mother and that Dad had stepped in to defend her. But the charges were dropped.”

Ben frowned. His palms felt sweaty. “How did they know it was your dad and not Kenobi? How do you?”

His mother made a pained expression. Ben lowered himself down on the far side of the couch across from her. “Just tell me, please.” 

His mother looked skyward; he noticed tears in her eyes. “Luke told them what happened.”

"Luke?” Ben reared back, colliding with the armrest. 

Leia nodded. “He was there. He saw it happen.” Ben stared at his mother in disbelief. “He was hiding. It was his Harriet the Spy phase; he was always eavesdropping and spying on everyone.” 

Ben took an uneven breath. “He actually saw the murder.” His mother nodded in confirmation. Jesus. No wonder his uncle was so fucked up. 

“What about you? Were you there?” 

She swallowed roughly, voice cracking. “No, I was at my friend Celly’s house, thank god.” 

They were both quiet for a moment, Ben’s head spinning from the influx of information. His mother eventually broke the silence. 

“I know you’re angry I wasn’t more forthright, but you’ll understand when you’re older that you’ll do anything to protect the ones you love from the viciousness of the world, even if that means keeping the truth from them.”

Ben nodded, vowing that as far as Rey or their child would ever know, Anakin and Padme Skywalker had died in a very tragic, very ordinary car crash. 

Chapter Text

Another doctor’s appointment came and went. There were no unforeseen emergencies at the garage, so Han was the one to accompany Rey. She had few updates from the appointment itself — everything was apparently on track — but returned with a pamphlet of classes offered at the affiliated hospital. 

“The pregnancy blogs I read recommend that at a minimum, first-time parents should do one on newborn care and one on childbirth. They also offer one on breastfeeding, which is apparently harder than it sounds.” 

Ben nodded, flipping through the booklet full of cheerful adults in pastel clothing, mostly in pairs. Some of the topics listed were expected, like feeding and diapering. Others, like cord care and infant CPR, required him to swallow down rising panic. 

“The pamphlet said Baby Care Basics should be taken in the second trimester. I’ll bring it up at dinner; there is a Saturday session in a few weeks.” 

Ben nodded again, managing to speak past his fears. “You mean for both of us, right?

“Of course.” 

Getting his parents’ blessing for Rey to attend the class was fairly straightforward. Initially, Han claimed it was probably unnecessary as caring for a baby wasn’t that difficult. After his wife barked in derision, he clarified that he meant learning to care for a baby wasn’t difficult. The last of Han’s reluctance was broken when Rey tugged on his heartstrings by sharing how worried she was about not knowing what to do. 

Convincing his parents that it was reasonable for Ben to attend was another matter. They were still concerned with how heavily Ben planned to be involved with raising the child. Her son attending a parenting class at seventeen was more than Leia seemed ready to handle, regardless of the peace she had made with Rey’s situation. 

Ben argued that he would be living in the same house as the baby until high school graduation, and likely longer. His parents were still dubious but finally relented when Rey pointed out that neither of them would have to spend a weekend morning in Cratertown if Ben accompanied her. 

Enabled by his parents' aversion to sacrificing their weekend, the Saturday before Thanksgiving once again found Ben driving north to Cratertown with Rey. 

Ben grabbed Rey’s hand, entwining their fingers together as they entered the building, the distance from their town once again granting them anonymity. Here they would be just like all the other couples, with him appropriately recognized as the father and co-parent, not an overly involved uncle-to-be. 

After a pitstop at the restrooms, he and Rey found the classroom and took a seat at an empty table on the right, halfway back. Other couples trickled in, but none joined them at their station. While Rey flipped through the printed material, Ben eyed the items on the tabletop with trepidation, particularly the creepily realistic doll. 

The course content was frankly overwhelming. Ben had never heard the term onesie before, but within the first fifteen minutes of the class, he knew that not only would they become a staple of his life, but also how to put one on without passing fabric over the baby’s face and that they needed to be washed before being worn. He started to take notes in a blind panic when they covered car seats; there were too many details to remember. 

The average American home was also apparently full of dangers, from uncovered outlets to open toilet seats. Ben didn’t know how they would test for lead paint when they started looking for apartments to rent. He could feel his palm sweating when the instructor began to discuss cord care; apparently, the umbilical just stayed attached, and you waited for it to fall off. He felt flat-out faint when they covered circumcision. 

He felt a little better when they got to bathing and changing diapers. It may have been a clean diaper and a doll, but at least it made him feel like he wasn’t completely incompetent. And honestly, the idea of poop scared him much less than parts of his child drying up and falling off did. 

The last section of the class was about knowing what was normal and what was a cause for concern regarding the baby’s health. It was an exhausting end to a three-hour session. How did anyone keep a child alive? How had the entire human race not died out centuries earlier? 

Rey could tell he was freaking out. In the parking lot, she held both his hands in hers and tilted her head up to look him in the eyes. “It will be okay, Ben. We’ve got this.”

“We do?”

Rey nodded. “We do.”

******

Like last year, Thanksgiving was celebrated with just their nuclear family, Luke, and Chewie. In a break from tradition, his uncle had decided to book a room at the local hotel, purportedly to avoid a night on the pullout in the basement with its wonky crossbar. Whatever his reasons, the end result was Luke spent the first ten minutes after his arrival detailing how the amenities at the Eisley Inn were not up to his standards. 

His mother’s strategic maneuvering prevented pre-dinner conflicts. Citing Rey’s condition to disqualify her from assisting in the kitchen, Leia instead recruited Luke and banished the rest of them to the basement to watch the Lions game. Everyone other than Leia managed to avoid having any substantive conversations with Luke until it came time to sit down at the table. 

“So, Rey, do you remember those character drawings I had you do in the summer?” Rey shielded her lips with her fingers as she continued chewing, nodding slowly at Luke. “I shared them with my editor; she really liked them. We talked about you maybe doing the illustrations for the 20th-anniversary editions of the Red Squadron series.”

“Really?” Rey squeaked. 

“Uh-huh.” Luke looked very proud of himself. “I thought it would be a good way for you to earn some income when the baby is young. Work you can do during nap time from home.” 

“That’s a very kind offer, Luke,” said Leia. “Isn’t it, Han?”

Han grunted in assent, his attention focused on buttering a roll. Ben was suspicious; it sounded too good to be true, like Luke was neglecting to mention a key contingency.

“It will take a while for the money to come through, though. The series won’t be republished for two more years.” Ah, there it was; Luke’s plan was never actually going to come to fruition, just something dangled out in the indeterminate future.

“So I gave it some thought,” Luke continued. “I don’t have any children of my own, so why not support the next closest thing? I’m going to set up a fund for the kid. I’ll have my lawyers set up a contract directing a portion of the royalties from Wretch of Tayron to you. It’ll be released this summer.”

“That’s very  generous, Luke.” Han’s tone was practically an accusation. 

Luke brushed it off, either pretending to be or actually ignorant of the tension emanating from his brother-in-law. “Eh, she helped me work through writer’s block this summer. My editor would still be waiting on the manuscript if she hadn’t been there.” 

Rey blushed, casting her eyes down at the table. Even at an angle, Ben could see her lips were turned up and eyes watery. Luke was relaxed fully in his chair, elbow resting on the top rail, surveying the table and looking quite pleased with himself. 

“I didn’t realize Rey was so intimately involved in your process, Luke.” Ben could tell his father was sniffing around for a fight; he was using his fake calm voice, the one that usually preceded an argument. 

His uncle shrugged. “Maybe not as involved as Leia used to be…” 

“Luke has always said it’s helpful to have a woman’s perspective,” interrupted Leia, staring warningly at her husband. 

“Right, exactly. One of the benefits of having a sister.” He glanced over at Ben, making a face Ben couldn’t interpret, then flourished his hand toward Rey. “Or a niece.” 

After dinner, Luke took his drink into the living room, urging Rey and Ben to join him and leave Ben’s parents to handle the cleanup on their own. Ben would have preferred dishpan hands to pontification from Luke, but staying with Rey was paramount. 

“Have you heard back from any colleges yet?” 

They shook their heads. “Not yet. Most schools don’t notify until after Christmas,” said Rey. 

“Where did you apply?”

Ben thought it was uncharacteristic that Luke was showing this level of interest in them but rattled off their top picks. 

“Hmm. I’d take Rhode Island over Ohio. I was a writer in residence for Brown’s MFA program a few years ago. Pretty area.” He tilted his head at Rey. “You applying to Rizdee?”

Rey blushed, shaking her head and looking down at her mug of cocoa. “No. I don’t have a strong enough portfolio.” 

“Too bad. Maybe next year, once you’ve done the illustrations for the anthology.” 

Rey shrugged. “Maybe. I’ll probably just go part-time wherever Ben ends up going. Or take a gap year.”

“Fair enough.” Luke nodded sympathetically.  “The arts don’t really require a degree. Though if you want one, I’ll pay for it.”

Rey’s head snapped up. “What — really?”

Luke nodded. “Sure. I was going to do the reveal at Christmas, but —“ He shrugged, then lifted his wine glass like he was making a toast. “Why wait to share the good news?”

Rey squealed, leaping up to hug Luke, chanting a stream of excited thank you ’s.

When she pulled back from the embrace, Luke patted her belly. “Be a good mom to that kid, yeah?” Ben scowled at the physical touch. “No need to be jealous, Ben. I’ve been putting money in your college fund since you were crawling.” Ben reared back, shocked by his words. “Don’t look so surprised. You’d inherit it anyway after I’m dead.”

“Really?” 

“Of course. Who else would I leave it to? My alma mater so they can build a library? Bah!” He waved his hands, a bit of wine sloshing onto his pant leg. “Of course I’d leave it to my own blood.” 

Ben scrunched his face. “But you hate me?”

Luke rolled his eyes, taking a long sip of his drink. “I don’t hate you. You’re just a little shit.”

******

Rey yawned. “I think it’s time for me to go to bed.” She rubbed her front. “Little guy wears me out.” 

Luke snorted, patting his food baby. “Yep. Same here.” After the middling laughter for his joke and a chorus of good nights to Rey, Luke rose from the couch, stretching his arms above his head as he dramatically yawned. 

“Time I should get going too. All that tryptophan has got me sleepy.” 

“I think it’s more likely the two bottles of wine we finished off that are making you drowsy, not the turkey.” Leia smiled knowingly. “You can’t drive like this; I’ll make up the pullout.”  She started to push herself up off the couch, but Luke raised his hands in front of his chest to stop her. 

“Absolutely not. That pullout is a torture device. I’d sooner walk to the hotel than try to sleep on that thing again.” 

Han shrugged and took a sip of his beer. He had joined the rest of them in the living room but barely said a word the entire evening, his brother-in-law’s presence making him grouchy. 

Leia flopped back against the couch, slightly tipsy herself. “Then we’ll have Ben drive you. I’ll pick you up in the morning, and we can grab breakfast before coming back here to pick up your car.”

Despite having never agreed to chauffeur his uncle,  Ben was pulling out of the driveway with Luke in his passenger seat ten minutes later. 

Luke swatted the radio off. “None of that.” 

Ben’s fingers clamped tighter around the steering wheel, the ticking of the turn signal unusually loud in the otherwise silent car. 

“It was nice of you to arrange for Rey to illustrate your books.” 

Luke grunted. 

Ben took a deep, calming breath and pushed on. “Rey’s been worried about being able to provide for the baby. Mom keeps scaring her about how much things cost.”

Luke shrugged. “Eh. The kid’s a Skywalker. It’s not like I was going to let it starve.” 

Ben froze, a chill running down his spine. He kept his eyes forward at the bumper of the pickup in front of them at the red light, choosing his words carefully.  “What do you mean? Rey’s not a Skywalker.”

“I think we both know what I mean.” Ben glanced over at Luke, who was staring at him pointedly. 

Ben’s eyes snapped back to the windshield. His hands were sweaty, and his heart felt like it was trying to escape his chest. “Rey’s never said who the father was. Are you saying something happened with the two of you?” Ben noticed his voice was higher-pitched than usual, his bluff coming out unnaturally fast. 

Luke scoffed. “That’s certainly what your mother is choosing to believe. And I’m sure that’s the story she’ll tell herself when she notices the family resemblance.” Luke flicked the grab handle above the door lazily. “That, and that I must have lied when I told her I had a vasectomy.”

Ben felt his soul leave his body. The car was dead silent as they drove through the business district, the holiday lights keeping the car’s interior bathed in a dim glow. 

“You know what I found fascinating about humans?” Luke asked rhetorically. “How self-centered we are. Not just in the world-revolves-around-me sense, but in the arrogance in believing that we are somehow special, that our thoughts and experiences are unique. But we’re all so fucking alike.” 

Ben tried to focus on breathing. He could see Luke slouched against the window in his periphery, almost like he was bored, staring at Ben appraisingly. 

“You can’t stand me, but you’re exactly like me.”

Ben bit down his instinctual retort that they were nothing alike; he didn’t dare anger Luke and upset whatever delicate balance was going on. Luke had all but said he knew the truth. Ben didn’t understand why he was allowing the falsehood of paternity to play out, nor was he going to dare to ask him. 

They rode in silence the rest of the way to the hotel. Luke lumbered out under the porte-co-chère, his movements a bit unstable. He steadied himself on the door, looking into the cabin directly at Ben. His gaze felt like he was staring into Ben’s soul. 

“You really should read my books. You’d learn a lot about yourself.” 

Luke shut the door, using the handle to place it back in its frame rather than swinging it closed. He double-tapped the roof before turning and drifting into the hotel lobby. 

Chapter Text

Ben took the long way home, driving out past the high school before looping back and returning to the neighborhood. He was desperately trying to calm his nerves, mind racing as he tried to process all that Luke had said. 

He was proud he had the presence of mind to park on the street — now he wouldn’t be woken up early in the morning to move the car to let his parents out. He was in a daze as he cut across the front lawn but was pulled out of it when he heard his mother’s voice. 

“Just because you don’t like him doesn’t mean his generosity has ulterior motives, Han.”

Ben looked to his right. The living room window was slightly ajar. He had a vague recollection from earlier in the evening of Luke complaining about how warm it was inside and his mother cracking it to let in the evening air. The end table lamps were still on, illuminating the curtains with a reddish glow.  

“Really?” Han scoffed derisively. “The man who is too cheap to get a hotel room suddenly offers to pay for the education of a girl to whom he has no blood relation? It doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots, Leia.” 

Ben felt his stomach turn over. This was the outcome Rey had wanted: for suspicion to fall on Luke. But now, knowing that Luke had worked out the truth, Ben was even more conflicted. For reasons he didn’t understand, his uncle was seemingly willing to take the blame. But what if Han confronted him? How much verbal abuse would Luke tolerate before pointing the finger at Ben? 

“You promised Rey you would stop harassing her about the child’s father. She told you she didn’t want him to be involved.  At this point, what does it matter if the child is Luke’s or someone else’s?”

“Because it’s Luke!” Han hollered. “I had made my peace with it being some dumb teenager, but not Luke. I knew it was a possibility before, but I didn’t want to believe it. But him throwing money at Rey like that? That sealed it; the bastard knows exactly what he’s doing.” 

“What exactly do you want to happen, Han?” Ben was struck by the difference in their voices; his father’s was angry and loud, while his mother’s was much more even, almost defeated. “Do you want him to say it aloud? What good would that do? Rey would still be pregnant. She’d still be having the baby.” 

“He’d be held accountable,” snapped Han. “He’d have to take responsibility for what he did.” 

“Luke’s already making sure the child is taken care of financially. Do you really want him involved more than that?” His mother’s voice was rising in volume and pitch. “What, do you want him to share custody? Have him take your grandson every other weekend, be there for all the birthday parties and soccer games? Is that what you want?” 

“Of course not!”

“Then what, Han? What will make you feel better?”

It was quiet for a moment. Ben was surprised how passionately his mother was defending Luke in the face of him having impregnated her teenage ward. If he hadn’t known the truth of the situation, Ben would have been angry at how much more eager she was to protect her brother than Rey.  Ironically, it benefited him now; Leia’s dissuading Han from reopening his paternity investigation helped him more than it did Luke. 

“He should be in jail, Leia.” Ben was surprised to hear how shaky and raw his father’s voice was. “He took advantage of my daughter, and now he’s throwing money at the situation — bribing her — to avoid facing the consequences. It’s not right.” 

“Han, Rey is seventeen.” Her voice had returned to a conversational volume to match her husband’s. “Whether you like it or not, she’s of legal age. It’s her choice who she has sex with.” 

“Not when it’s some creep old enough to be her father. Not when it’s Luke.” 

The vulnerability in his father’s voice was making Ben uncomfortable. He was beginning to feel like a voyeur, his eavesdropping suddenly feeling invasive. He rushed to the porch, pushing the door open and stumbling inside before he could hear his mother’s response. 

His parents’ heads snapped toward the foyer, looking backwards from their place on the couch. They both looked tired and distracted, neither expending the energy to offer a verbal greeting.

Ben tore off his coat and shoved it in the closet. “I dropped Luke off.” He kicked off his shoes, rushing as fast as he could. “Everything okay?” Leia gave a small nod and smile that wouldn’t have fooled anyone. “Good. I’m going to go play League.” 

He was halfway up the stairs before his mother even wished him goodnight. 

******

“Do you realize it was a year ago on Thursday that we first had sex?” Ben dropped a few pecks on Rey’s neck in a slow, unrushed pace, his arms wrapped around her from behind. She hummed contentedly and nestled closer to his chest. He had snuck into her bedroom after his mother had left Monday morning, longing for the summer when they had been able to share a bed. 

Rey chuckled. “You know the exact date?” 

“I had to look at a calendar. I knew it was the day before Thanksgiving. We had a half-day at school, remember?” 

“Oh, I remember.” Rey wriggled against him. “I was so worried after because you didn’t pull out, and I thought that I was pregnant.” 

Ben nuzzled behind her ear, grinning as he teased. “Nah, it took a couple more tries for it to take.” 

Rey laughed. “You say that like you wanted to get me pregnant.” 

“No, not then.” He traced a hand down her front, finding the hem of her nightgown. “But I have to say I’m quite pleased with how it turned out.” 

Rey squirmed against him impatiently as his hand moved under the fabric, mapping the stretched skin of her stomach. 

“Ugh, I’m getting so big.” Rey turned her head deeper into the bed. “I feel like a whale.” 

Ben propped himself up on his elbow. “Rey, you’re gorgeous. ”

Rey shook her head, face half-hidden by the pillow. “My belly is huge.” 

“Your belly is full of life." Ben inched backwards, coaxing Rey to lay on her back and look at him. 

“Do you have any idea of how horny you make me?” He moved his hands higher, skimming the undersides of her breasts. “And not in spite of your body; I mean because of it.” 

Rey shot him a dubious look. 

“It’s like a declaration that you’re mine.” He lowered his mouth near her ear, voice soft and intimate. “Your body is growing because it’s my child inside of you. Your boobs are getting bigger because they’re getting ready to feed my child.” He gave her left breast a gentle squeeze; Rey whimpered. “It’s the sexiest thing in the entire world. Knowing you’re mine.” 

Rey looked up at him adoringly, a shy smile on her lips. “You actually like all of this?” 

Ben nodded earnestly, leaning forward to capture her mouth. Rey responded immediately, weaving her finger through his hair and moaning into his mouth as he massaged her breasts. 

“You should fuck me,” Rey panted as she broke their kiss. 

Ben grinned. “Oh, yeah? You think so?” 

Rey nodded furiously. “Yes. I want you inside me now.”

“So demanding.” He dragged his hand tormentingly slow down the length of her body before finally dipping his fingers inside her panties. “Fuck, Rey — you’re soaked.” 

Rey nodded impatiently, wriggling for contact against his fingers and pouting when he pulled them away. “Help me sit up.” 

Ben pulled them both to a seated position and followed her lead as she began to remove her sleepwear. Despite how cumbersome her growing body was, Rey finished the task first, watching licentiously as he kicked off his sweatpants. 

“Lay on your back.” Ben raised an eyebrow but obeyed. His dick jumped when he felt her palm wrap around it. 

She pumped it a few times, eyes locked on his as she did. “I like your cock. It’s a lot of fun to play with.” 

“Mmm. It’s much more fun to fuck.” Ben tilted his hips upward, chasing her touch. 

Rey’s laugh was melodic. “Yeah, I’m quite fond of that too.” She released her hold and crawled on top of him, her wet center replacing her hand. 

Ben bit back a moan as she adjusted her stance, seeking a comfortable position. He reached his hands up to caress her extended front. If the baby was kicking, he thankfully couldn’t feel it; combining that with sex was a shade too close to having an audience. 

Rey hummed, covering his hands with her own as they explored the tight skin of her stomach before journeying up to cup her breasts. They still fit in his hand but felt fuller, more firm than they had previously. Based on the way Rey was breathing, they were definitely more sensitive. 

Rey shifted, reaching down between them to line him up at her entrance. She notched the tip inside, but the angle was wonky; she squirmed as she struggled to sheathe herself deeper. Ben took a few deep breaths, restraining himself from ramming upward. He didn’t want to hurt the baby by being too rough. 

Rey pressed her lips together, then lifted her hips to try again. Rey groaned in frustration when his penis slipped out entirely. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Ben curled up so he could cup her cheek. “Just try again.” 

Rey shook her head. “I like it better when you’re in charge. You should just do it.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Rey smiled sweetly. “You won’t.” She grabbed him by the neck, pulling him closer for a sloppy kiss. “My vag is about to push out a freaking child; it can handle anything your cock throws at it.” She rolled her hips teasingly. “I’ve been horny for days now. Do you worst.” 

Ben smiled predatorily. “Get off.” He nudged her hip with his hand. Rey scrambled obediently to sit on her heels next to him, practically vibrating with anticipation as he rose to his knees. 

He inched behind her, pulling her hips forcefully upward and throwing her off-balance. She caught herself on her palms, moaning huskily as she landed. 

Ben moved one hand to her lower back and used the other to strum Rey’s seam. Pregnancy had made her labia darker and swollen; it reminded him of a rose, with the petals opening for him to enter. 

Rey mewled as he began to rub his cockhead along her folds. She shifted backwards to urge him on.

“Damn, you are horny, aren’t you?”

“Mmm.” Rey squirmed again. “Please, Ben.”

She gasped as he snapped his hips forward, moaning in rhythm with his strokes as he fully seated himself inside her. 

“Is this what you wanted, Rey?” Ben’s hands roamed over her front, one teasingly stroking near her clit. “You wanted my cock inside of you?”

Ben watched her head bob as she nodded, her hair messily framing her head in the submissive position. She squeaked as he pinched her nipples, then moaned when he started using handfuls of her tits to leverage his thrusts. 

“I’m going to fill you with my cum,” Ben panted. “Keep you pregnant forever.” 

“Yes, Daddy.”

Ben paused mid-stroke, startled out of rhythm. “What did you say?”

Rey didn’t answer, suddenly silent. He thrust forward sharply, and Rey made a strangled noise. He leaned over her back, brushing her hair to the side to see her face. His voice was low and commanding. “What did you call me, Rey?”

Rey swallowed hard, studiously avoiding eye contact. “D-daddy.”

He pulled up, removing his hands from her body and nearly withdrawing his length from her entirely. Rey turned her head, eyes wide and scared. “Ben, please, it’s —“

He grabbed her hips and slammed back into her brutally, bottoming out in a single stroke. 

Thank god for porn; it allowed Ben to mentally sidestep reading too deeply into the name, blocking Han from his mind and focusing on how powerful it made him feel. Rey trusted him to take care of her and their child. She was submitting to him in all ways. 

He continued to rut into her possessively, spurred on by the choked moans she was making. He could feel her getting tighter, see the tremble in her legs, and hear her voice become higher pitched. “That’s right, come for Daddy.” 

And she did. Rey cried out, cunt clenching around him as she rode her crest, dragging Ben with her over the edge. 

They both collapsed to the bed staring at the ceiling as they caught their breath. 

After a minute, Rey rolled over on her side. “It wasn’t weird, was it? The Daddy thing?” Ben turned his head to look at her. “I mean, you seemed into it.” 

Ben grinned. “You did too.” 

Rey blushed. “Yeah. I mean… yeah.” She reddened further before shrugging shyly. “I figured you’ll be one soon, so…” 

Ben rolled onto his side to face her. He was quiet for a moment, letting his hand stroke her belly during his introspection. 

“Do you think he’ll call me that?” 

Rey hesitated, biting her lip. “I don’t know.” 

“I want him to,” whispered Ben. “I want him to know that I’m his father. I don’t want him to think that his dad abandoned him, abandoned you —“ 

“Ben, you are his father.” Rey grasped his hand, staring him straight in the eye. “Whether he calls you Dad or Uncle is irrelevant. You’ll be the man who raises him; that’s what matters.” 

Ben nodded reluctantly, face downturned. Rey smiled at him tenderly. "I can still call you daddy.”

Ben smirked, more from her attempt to cheer him up than being heartened by her words. He stroked her belly again. “Have you decided what we’ll call him yet?” 

Rey shook her head. Her list of nixed names was significantly longer than those she was considering. “If it was a girl, I’d just use my mother’s name, but I really don’t want to name him Han.” Ben was relieved to hear they were in agreement on that. 

“What’s at the top of the list?”

“Today?” She chuckled. “Liam and Ethan. Though Jacob might fight its way to the top again before the end of the week.” She readjusted how she was lying, moving onto her back. “What do you think?” 

“I’m still partial to Benjamin.” Rey rolled her eyes playfully; he only ever had the one suggestion. “What? It’s not like I’ll be using it much if you’re going to start calling me Daddy…” 

Rey laughed, then looked over at Ben, devolving into uncontainable giggles that only ceased when Ben surged forward, covering her lips with his own. 

Chapter Text

December flew by with schoolwork and holiday chaos. Halfway through the month, Rey attended a breastfeeding class in the city, accompanied by Leia. Neither she nor Ben had even tried to justify his attendance to his parents, but Rey filled him in on the important parts. The instructor’s recommendation about how partners should interact with the mother’s nipples in the third trimester was what Ben considered the most important part. 

Citing Rey’s delicate condition, Han had convinced Leia that they spend Christmas at home and forgo the annual trip up to Boston. While a long road trip would undoubtedly have been unpleasant for Rey at thirty weeks, Ben knew his father had jumped at any excuse to avoid spending the holiday with his in-laws and making the drive himself. 

This resulted in just the four of them in the living room on Christmas morning, drinking cocoa and listening to Han’s Trans-Siberian Orchestra CD. Breha had mailed gifts, including a crib for the baby that Ben immediately and foolishly volunteered to help Han assemble. She also sent along several boxes of items from Lianna of infant clothes and accessories that her son had outgrown. Rey teared up when reading the accompanying note from Lianna. 

Most of the gifts exchanged were unremarkable. Ben had bought Rey a few art supplies that she had said she wanted, and she had purchased a League of Legends pullover for him that he knew would involuntarily migrate to her wardrobe by next winter: safe, ordinary sibling gifts. 

His parents gave Rey an infant car seat, which spurred a minor debate on whose car it should be installed in before Han suggested they just buy a second base. Rey’s gift to their father — a mug bearing the silhouette of an old car that declared ‘My grandpa is a classic’ — amused Leia much more than it did Han. 

Luke’s gifts were simply thin letters. The one to Rey promised a forthcoming contract for her illustration work and further detail on the account he was setting up for her son. Ben’s was even briefer: a reiteration that there was a fund available for his education and a reminder to read his uncle’s books, which was met by a deserved eye roll. He didn’t even get his own envelope, just a piece of three-holed, college-ruled composition paper folded into thirds with his name scribbled on the reverse. 

“You know, Luke’s really grown on me,” mused Rey that afternoon as she held up a onesie from Lianna. She was sorting clothing into stacks across the foot of her bed by some logic Ben wasn’t privy to. Periodically, at her direction, he would retrieve a new bundle of clothing from the box or move a stack into a dresser drawer.  “I know he’s odd and a bit of a dick, but you can tell he actually cares.” 

Ben grunted noncommittally. Rey set the plaid onesie down in the middle pile and motioned for him to take the stack before grabbing what looked like a pillowcase with a neck hole.

“I feel bad for trying to frame him. Poor guy.” Ben listened as he carried the stack of tiny clothing over to the dresser Rey had cleared out for the baby. There were so many outfits; they’d be able to go weeks without doing laundry. 

“Thank god Dad agreed to stop asking questions about the baby’s father. I’m glad it never went so far that I had to name someone.” 

Ben was happy his back was to Rey, so she didn’t see him grimace. She was happy and unburdened.

Rey needn’t know that his parents did think Luke was the father or that Luke knew the truth — the real truth. Why tell her? What would knowing bring her? There was nothing she could do to change it.  

No, he was the protector. He shielded her from the violent history of his grandparents, and he would shield her from this. He alone would carry the guilt of what they had done to Luke. He would let her live blissfully ignorant of the truth, believing they had pulled off the perfect deception with no collateral damage. He wouldn’t tell her how their choices had reverberated throughout their family, further stressing already taut relationships. That would be his burden to carry and his alone. 

He put on a neutral face, turning back toward her as she placed a pair of dinosaur-patterned pants in the furthest right pile.  

“Yeah, we got lucky.” 

******

Ben had hoped to spend the part of the week between Christmas and New Year’s when his parents were working alone at the house with Rey, but those plans were quickly upended by Tallie, who had decided that week was the perfect time to prep Rey’s room for the baby. While he was called on a few times to help shift furniture or carry heavy things up the stairs, most of the time, he was shooed back to his room after his muscle was no longer required. 

Ben wasn’t complaining; he preferred throwing on his headphones to play League over listening to Taylor Swift as the girls consulted Pinterest. 

Tallie stayed for dinner on the thirtieth, and Ben was enlisted to drive her home afterward. Rey offered to ride along but broke into a yawn mid-sentence. 

“It’s fine!” Tallie waved her off. “Ben won’t bite.” She nudged him playfully with her hips. “Go get some rest; you’ll want to be able to stay up tomorrow night.”

Rey nodded, yawning again as she waved goodnight and ascended the stairs. Tallie smiled warmly at Ben as they shrugged on their coats and winter boots. 

“I worked it out, you know.” Tallie looked over at Ben as he turned out of the neighborhood. “The big mystery of who you had sex with.”

Ben clenched the steering wheel tighter, thankful that his gloves absorbed any nervous sweat. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Tallie nodded confidently. “You bought the condoms for Rey. That’s why you were so cagey about who you were having sex with.” 

Ben pursed his lips, unsure how to respond. Tallie looked more proud that she had pieced the truth together than disgusted by what she had uncovered. 

She shifted, turning her upper body toward the driver’s side of the car. “Do you know who she was using them with?” 

Wait, what?  

“I had hoped if I didn’t press that she’d eventually tell me, but she hasn’t.” Tallie sighed. “I know it’s not my business if she has sex, but she’s my best friend. If she had told me she was having it, I could have had Geno buy extra condoms or something.” 

“No, uh, she didn’t tell me.” Ben kept his gaze locked on the road ahead. 

“Did she say why she needed them when she asked you to buy them? Or why the guy she was sleeping with didn’t just buy them himself?”

“No.” Ben shook his head. “She said she wanted to be prepared. I didn’t know she was actually having sex.” He swallowed, trying to talk slower and not clearly transmit that he was lying. “I mean, not until she told us she was pregnant.” 

Tallie nodded thoughtfully. “You don’t think she was abused, do you?”

Ben glanced over at Tallie, whose face was uncharacteristically solemn. “I just mean, it’s odd that she told no one. I get if she didn’t tell your parents or didn’t want everyone at school to know. But no one? Not you? Not me?”

“She never said anything…” 

“Well, that would make sense, wouldn’t it?” Tallie tilted her head. “If she was scared of her abuser or ashamed of what happened, she wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“Maybe she’s just private.” 

“Maybe. I hope so.” Tallie slumped back against the car seat. “My mom’s sister was abused by a family friend when they were kids, so she’s always on the lookout for potential predators. She’s been putting all these ideas in my head, asking about Mr. Bridger and all of Rey’s male relatives.”

“Male relatives?” 

“Yeah.” Tallie waved her hand carelessly in front of herself. “She had this theory that your dad was abusing Rey.” 

“He would never hurt Rey.”

Tallie placed a hand over her heart. "I know that. But some fathers do.  And your dad was already on my mom’s shit list from cheating on your mom. I eventually told her that Rey had sworn me to secrecy but had confessed the baby belonged to a senior who graduated last year.” 

Damn. Tallie was much better at concocting believable lies than he and Rey were. Superior in its simplicity. 

“There was even a week where she was certain that you and Rey were having sex.” Tallie chuckled, shaking her head. “But you’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

Ben looked over at the passenger’s seat. Tallie was grinning broadly. “Well, half-a-virgin. I know you and Lu fooled around a bit. But that’s why you get so jumpy when I flirt with you, isn’t it? You bought the condoms for Rey but never used any for yourself.” 

Not trusting himself to speak, Ben just shrugged. 

“I wouldn’t have been so casual suggesting we have sex at prom if I had known it would be your first time. But Geno had just dumped me, and I really needed the rebound.” Tallie shook her head as if clearing thoughts from her mind. “But I’m at a much better place now. I’m ready to be in a full, real relationship again.” 

Ben nodded, flicking on the left turn signal and entering Tallie’s neighborhood, happy that this stressful conversation would soon be over. As he pulled into her driveway, Tallie placed a hand on his thigh. He looked down at it, then over to Tallie, who was staring at him with intense, sincere eyes. 

“You’re a really great guy, Ben. All the ways you’ve been helping Rey; you’re amazing.” Tallie took a deep breath. “She told me about the plan you have to share an apartment next year, having her take the baby to wherever you go to college. That’s going to be a lot, Ben.” 

“I know.” 

Tallie pursed her lips. “Ben, just because whoever Rey hooked up with is an ass doesn’t mean you have to step up to fill the role he abandoned. You should let yourself have a little fun.” She removed her hand from his leg, entwining it with his gloved one. 

“You can be a good brother without being a monk, Ben.” She stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. “I’ve always liked you, Ben. But you were with Lu, and then I was with Geno. The timing didn’t work. But I think we could be good together now. ” 

Ben recognized Tallie’s body signals: the almost imperceptible lean forward, the doe-eyes, the way her pink tongue darted forward to wet her lips. 

He was tempted. He liked Tallie. If Rey’s mother hadn’t died and she had still been on the other side of the Atlantic, he would have gladly been balls deep inside Tallie that very moment. 

But Rey wasn’t in London; she was at home, in bed, growing his child. 

“Now’s not a good time, Tallie.” She hid it well, but Ben could see the disappointment in her eyes. “Things at home are really stressful, giving everything that’s going on with Rey.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “You deserve to be the focus of someone’s universe. I can’t be that person right now.” 

Tallie nodded slowly. “When you can, let me know, okay? You deserve your own happiness.” 

Ben smiled genuinely. “You do too, Tallie.” 

Tallie returned his smile with exuberance, leaning over and kissing him sweetly on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, Ben Solo.” 

Chapter Text

Rey came home from her next doctor’s appointment waving a shiny purple leaflet labeled: A Guide to Your Birth Experience. Apparently, giving birth came with a thirty-question multiple-choice questionnaire on topics spanning mood lighting to whether to vaccinate the newborn against Hepatitis B. 

Fortunately, Rey seemed to have a strong opinion on many subjects, declaring circumcision an unnecessary American tradition and building several Spotify playlists for the hospital. Ben was happy to nod along with her choices, especially if it meant avoiding discussion about her cervix. 

The big decision to make was who her primary support person would be during delivery. Her doctor had recommended that person also be the one to attend the childbirth class with her, presumably where she’d also learn more about cervical balloons and other topics that made Ben queasy. 

Rey made it clear that she wanted Ben at the class and in the delivery room. Ben wanted to be there in theory, but actually being there scared the shit out of him. 

“You don’t think people will think it’s weird?” Ben set the pamphlet down on the top of Rey’s bedspread. “I mean, having your brother be there for the birth?”

Rey scratched her stomach; she had been complaining of it itching recently. “Maybe. But all pamphlets and blogs talk about how important it is for the mother to have who she wants in the room, and I want you.” 

Ben nodded hesitantly. “All right. Let’s see if we can get Mom and Dad to agree.” 

Rey apparently felt very strongly about the matter, giving it a hard sell at dinner the next night. His parents, much to Ben’s secret delight, were unenthusiastic. 

“The doctor said my support partner should go with me to the childbirth class.” Rey stabbed a piece of rigatoni with her fork. “Typically, that’s the father, but I’ll need to choose someone else.” 

Leia nodded. “Yes, Han mentioned the doctor had said that. If you let me know the date, I’ll make sure I’m able to attend.” 

Rey chewed her food for an abnormally long amount of time before swallowing. “Do you think you need to go? I mean, you’ve given birth before; you know what happens. Is it even worth your time?”

“While I agree the basics are unlikely to change, they’re always updating their recommendations on what is best.” Leia lifted her water glass. “Besides, it isn’t about me. It’s about you.”

Rey nodded, her forehead creased. She took a moment before making another attempt. “But wouldn’t it be good to have multiple people in my corner know what’s going on? Like, have someone go with me to the class who hasn’t given birth, like Dad? Or Ben?” 

Han choked on a garlic knot, diverting all attention to himself. After a few seconds of coughing and a sip of water, he shook his head decisively. “Not me. You don’t want me there. I have a hard enough time at your doctor appointments. I don’t think I can get over the mental barrier of talking about the details of my daughter giving birth.”

He raised his hands in surrender. “I’ll be there to support you at the beginning, but once it’s time to push …” He shook his head. “I can’t do it.” 

“Ben then.” Rey looked over at him, eyes gleaming, the goal of her attack strategy within her grasp. 

“Uhhh—“

“Rey, birth is a really intimate experience,” interrupted Leia. “Other than the child’s father, I wouldn’t have wanted a male relative there.” 

Rey took a deep breath, setting her forearm calmly on the table before pressing on. “I think Ben will keep me calm.” She looked over at him with lovey eyes. “I want him there.”

Leia opened her mouth to answer, but Han beat her to it. “No. Absolutely not. That shit is scarring. I’m not going to make him go through that. Not until he’s about to become a father himself.” 

Ben shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?” Leia admonished. “But I agree; it’s not appropriate for Ben or Han to be involved with the actual birth.” She extended her hand across the table to cover Rey’s. “Don’t worry, dear. I’ll be there with you the whole time, I promise.” 

Rey returned a polite smile, but Ben could tell she was disappointed. 

******

The childbirth class came and went. Although Ben avoided attending, Rey gave him an excessively detailed rundown of what he had missed. He tried to focus on massaging her feet, responding just enough for her to keep talking. He sweated nervously as she talked about effacement and cervical dilation. 

“You look like you’re going to be sick.”

Ben lifted his face, hoping she couldn’t see the truth in his eyes. “No, it’s, uh, fine. I’m fine.” 

“Uh-huh.” Rey shot him a skeptical look. “Leia said Dad got queasy when she was pregnant with you too.” 

Ben shrugged, sliding up the bed to lean against the headboard beside her. “You being pregnant doesn’t bother me. Childbirth is what scares me.” He set a hand on her rounded belly, sending her a suggestive look. “I’m actually quite a fan of you being pregnant.” 

Rey laughed. “You just want me to call you Daddy again, don’t you?” 

Ben smirked. “I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.” 

Rey grinned, entwining her fingers with his on the hand that laid on her stomach. “Well then, Daddy, is it okay if we don’t mess around tonight? I know your parents aren’t home, but my legs are still crampy. I just want to draw for a bit and then go to sleep.” 

A wave of guilt flowed through Ben. “Of course! Whatever you want. You know we never have to —“ 

Rey placed a finger against his lips, halting his rambling. “I know, Ben. It’s okay. I want you just as much.” She winked. “I’ll make it up to you after school on Monday.”

Ben sat up and nodded. He had an essay for English he should have been working on, but if he wasn’t going to have sex, he was at least going to treat himself to a few League matches as a consolation. 

“I guess I’ll leave you to your drawing. Do you need anything before I go?”

Rey pointed to her desk. “Just my sketchpad and pencil case.” 

Ben retrieved them, setting them on the bed next to her. He leaned over to kiss her on the crown of her head. “Anything else?” 

Rey smiled and started to shake her head before pausing abruptly. “Actually, can you grab my copy of Polar Trench off the bookshelf? I don’t know if I’ll need it, but if I don’t have it, I definitely will.” 

Ben crawled backwards off the bed and walked over to the mounted bookshelf on the wall over her desk. The crimson spine was not difficult to find; all of Rey’s physical books were written by Luke, aside from a pair of parenting guides. 

“You know, Luke keeps trying to get me to read this.” Ben padded back across the room, extending the book out to her. 

Rey flipped to a clean page in her sketchpad. “Maybe you should.” 

Ben scoffed. 

“Why not?” She shrugged. “It’s an incredibly popular series. You’ll probably like it; I did.” 

Ben shook his head. “Fantasy isn’t my thing.” 

Rey twisted her lip as she unzipped the pencil case. “I wouldn’t call it fantasy, per se. There’s some magic, but that’s not the main draw. It’s really the characters’ stories that matter. The fantasy world is just the backdrop.” 

Ben grunted, attempting again to hand her the book. Rey gave it a cursory glance but made no move to accept it. 

“You should try it. Read the first chapter.” She patted the bed beside her. “Come on, you can keep me company.” 

Ben rolled his eyes but settled back next to her. One chapter, then he was going to play League. Rey hummed with satisfaction, a small grin on her lips as she started to practice hatching. 

Ben grumpily cracked open the spine, flipping past maps and a title page with Luke’s ridiculous loopy autograph to land on one with a paragraph of short italics printed in the center. 

To my sister, Leia. You wrote the story with flesh and blood, I with ink and paper. 

“Did you know Luke dedicated this book to my mom?”

Rey nodded, still focused on her drawing warmups. “Mmm-hmm. He dedicates all his books to her.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. They’re really sweet. My favorite is in Desert Jewel. It’s something like, to Leia, my twin sister and twin soul.” 

Ben frowned but didn’t say anything. He turned the page and started to read the prologue. The people of Tattooine lived in the warmth of two suns for generations…

******

“Knock knock.” Ben looked up from his desk. His mother was standing in the doorway to his room. He lowered his headphones, wondering if she was going to ask him to help prep dinner before Rey and Han returned from Cratertown. 

“Your dad told me you got into OSU. Congratulations.”

Ben shrugged. “Thanks.” Leia walked into the room, perching on the side of his bed. Ben reluctantly swiveled to face her. 

“That was the last college you needed to hear back from, right?” Ben nodded. “Have you made a decision yet?” 

“Not yet. We need to see where Rey gets in first. But we’re leaning toward Providence.” 

Leia frowned. “Ben, I know you care about Rey and want to help her with her child, but you can’t do it at the expense of living your own life. It’s admirable, but you shouldn’t be making these big life decisions around her.” 

Ben crossed his arms. “It’s not like I’m going to community college in Cratertown or forgoing it entirely. I’m just making sure the school I choose also works for Rey.” 

“Ben.” His mother leaned across the space between them, setting a hand on his knee. He looked down at it suspiciously before raising his eyes to hers. “College is supposed to be a fun time. A time to meet new people and be young. You shouldn’t have to spend it changing diapers and washing bottles. You can still be a good uncle without stepping into the role of a father for the child.” She removed her hand, returning to her full-seated height. 

Ben was quiet for a moment, forming his response. When he finally spoke, it was low and preternaturally calm. “Why did you let Dad bring Rey here after her mom died?”

Leia pulled back, flustered. “What do you mean?”

“When Rey’s mother died. You didn’t kick him out of the house. You stayed with him and even let him bring her here to live with us.” He shook his head. “Everyone in town thought you were crazy for raising his illegitimate child.” He raised his shoulders. “So why did you do it?” 

His mother sighed. “Ben, adult relationships are complicated. Your father and I have a long history together. I’m not going to get into my reasons —“ 

“But you care about her, don’t you?” Ben interrupted. “Even though she’s not yours. Even though she’s physical proof that Dad cheated. You still love her, don’t you?”

Leia’s face softened. “Of course, I love Rey, Ben. But it’s not the same —“ 

“It is the same,” stressed Ben. “I may not be the father, but I love Rey, and I love her child too. It didn’t make sense to other people why you let Dad bring Rey here; maybe it doesn’t make sense to you why I want to be there for Rey. But it makes sense to me.” 

Leia studied him thoughtfully for a moment before standing. “You certainly have your father’s stubbornness. I suppose Rey does too.” She tilted her head. “She’s lucky to have you. Even if you weren’t raised together, you are a good brother.” She walked to the doorframe, turning back one last time before she departed. “You remind me of Luke.” 

******

February brought the end of the first semester and crunch time for baby preparations. Their guidance counselor had helped Rey preload her schedule with morning classes, giving her the flexibility to do the rest via self-study in the afternoon. Ben readily volunteered to help keep her up to speed on schoolwork during the weeks she’d miss class after birth. Even Han was pitching in, announcing that he would be working the late shift at the garage for the rest of the school year, which would allow him to watch the baby while Rey was in class. 

Rey was nearly always uncomfortable now. She complained about the baby constantly moving and how waddling across the parking lot at school made her short of breath. Her bump sat lower now, something she and Leia referred to as the baby dropping. She was cranky in the mornings and perpetually tired from poor sleep. 

Still, there was a bright spot in the month right before Valentine’s Day when Rey got her acceptance notification to a school in Rhode Island; Ben had received his the week prior. Providence had been their top pick, and now they knew where they would be living next year. Together. 

Despite all her complaints about the last month of pregnancy, Rey wasn’t going to be stopped from celebrating this important milestone. In Ben’s room after school, she swiped a pillow from the bed and threw it on the carpet. Ben raised an eyebrow mischievously, returning her smirk. 

Rey tilted her head up and kissed him soundly, moaning into his mouth as he cupped her swollen breasts through her shirt. They were still small enough to fit in his hands, but he loved how much fuller they felt. 

Rey pulled back slightly, grinning wickedly at him as she gripped his legs for support and sunk to her knees. 

“Are you sure?” Ben clasped the side of her torso under her arms, making sure she didn’t lose her balance. “We can lay in bed or —“ 

“I’m sure.” Rey’s reply was firm and a bit defiant. She rocked sideways a bit, settling into a comfortable position. She rubbed against the front of his jeans. “Don’t you want me to suck your cock?” 

He looked down at her. She was staring up at him submissively, waiting for his response. The blood rushing to this groin left no uncertainty of what he wanted. He would never get over the power rush  of Rey yielding to him, his to do with as he pleased. 

“Take your top off.” He could see Rey suppressing a smile as she shimmied out of her gray sweater, flinging it toward the bed. Her chest heaved rhythmically with deep breaths, eagerly awaiting his next command. 

“Bra too.” Thin arms reached behind her back to unhook the garment. Ben watched hungrily as she pushed the straps down her arms at a tantalizingly slow pace. 

Her nipples were darker, a creamy gingerbread brown. Each breast was capped with a stiff little bud, waiting to be latched onto. Ben smoothed his hands over them gently, basking in how heavy and full they were: ripe. He could not resist the temptation to give the tip on the end a short pinch, causing Rey to inhale sharply. 

“You like when I play with your tits?” He taunted, squeezing them more firmly on the second pass. “When we’re in Providence, I don’t think you should wear a shirt. Like, when we’re at home, you should always be topless. I want to see these all the time.” 

Rey squirmed at his words, sneaking a hand back toward his crotch, cupping the bulge through the fabric. She lifted an eyebrow in mock concern. “You won’t find that distracting?”

Ben shook his head in fake solemnity. “No, if I do, I’ll just fuck you.” He weaved a hand through her hair, cradling the back of her head. “Or, if we’re busy, I’ll just put you on your knees and have you suck me off.” Rey gazed up at him dreamily, biting her lip coquettishly. 

He tugged her head forward, causing her to nearly faceplant on his fly. “Why don’t you get some practice now?”

Ben kept his hand threaded loosely in her hair as a reminder of his ability to control but let her pull back into a more neutral stance. He watched attentively as her hands raised to undo his pants and pull his length out. He still internally questioned if Rey should be doing this in her condition, but he wasn’t stupid enough to ask a second time. 

Rey circled a hand around the base of his shaft and gave it a few experimental pumps. She looked up at him innocently, keeping eye contact as she licked a stripe along the underside of his dick, popping the tip into her mouth. Ben grunted, nudging her head forward and deeper. 

Rey was excellent at giving head: enthusiastic and ambitious. Ben thrived on the control, the command he had over her body and her actions; his to do whatever he wanted. There was something about her being on her knees — a beggar’s position — throwing herself at his mercy. It was intoxicating. 

Ben groaned as Rey bobbed on his cock, reaching down to tweak her breast. He knew they were sensitive — she had complained about discomfort several times — but they were too enticing to neglect. Rey whimpered as he manhandled them but didn’t pause her sucking. 

She looked so good with his cock in her mouth. He loved how she struggled to swallow him whole, inevitably gagging and having to withdraw but so eager. She was fucking perfect for him. 

He jerked her head back, his shaft slipping sloppily out of her mouth. He took it in his free hand, holding her still as he gave himself a few tugs before painting her chest with his cum. 

It made quite the taboo tableau: his semen splattered across his sister’s swollen breasts, white beads dripping off and landing on her rounded belly, gravid with his child. He knelt down in front of her, tracing along her lip with his thumb, marveling at how pliant and obedient she was, simply following his lead and making no move to clean herself. 

“You did such a good job, Rey.” She beamed at his praise as he began to lazily spread his spend across her belly, rubbing it in like a salve. “You look so good, covered in my cum.” 

Chapter Text

“Shouldn’t we be leaving for the hospital?” Ben was at a loss, watching Rey clench her fork as she breathed through another contraction. 

“Not yet.” Han twirled the spaghetti on his plate, apparently not bothered by the pained expression on his daughter’s face. “Still too far apart. A few hours before we need to leave at best.”

"Hours?” Ben had been panicked since the ride home from school when Rey confessed that she had started to have contractions during sixth period. 

“Early labor can last days,” Leia explained. She looked over at Rey sympathetically. “Though I doubt yours will last that long, dear.” 

Days?  Ben was already exhausted, and they hadn’t even left for the hospital yet. He continued to be the only one who seemed concerned for the rest of the evening. Aside from occasionally pausing whatever she was doing to breathe deeply for a few seconds, Rey seemed to be acting normal. 

Ben tried to focus on his history textbook, but his concentration was nonexistent, too much adrenaline pumping through his blood. How was he supposed to read about the Franco-Prussian war when Rey was across the hall in labor? League managed to provide a temporary distraction, but his heart wasn’t into it, so he eventually gave up and went to bed. 

His sleep was fitful. It took him over an hour to fall asleep, and he woke several times throughout the night. A little past three, when he left his room to take a piss, he noticed the door to Rey’s room was slightly ajar. Interpreting it as an invitation from the universe, he pushed it forward slowly. In the dim light, he could see Rey’s outline snuggled into the maternity pillow Tallie had given her for Christmas. 

She was angelic. Ben hadn’t seen Rey asleep for any appreciable length of time since the cabin. He realized suddenly how much he missed it. Unweighted by the responsibilities and stresses of the waking world, her face appeared younger, more innocent. It was the face he had first fallen in love with, the one he would protect at all costs. 

He clenched the doorknob tightly, using it as a physical anchor to prevent himself from striding across the room and gathering her up in his arms. He longed for the lazy mornings that started with her back pressed against his chest and ended with sleepy lovemaking. His body ached for the comfort of her arm flung across his body as they drifted off to sleep, of being able to turn in the middle of the night and see her next to him. 

Soon. 

A few more months until graduation, and then they could move to their own apartment and live as man and wife. He would hold her in his arms each night and wake next to her each morning. They would not be separated again. 

Ben gave her one final look before closing the door and returning to his room. After that, he slept soundly, dreaming of waking up in a sunny loft, his face buried in golden brown hair. 

******

Rey’s contractions, while progressing, still did not meet the threshold for going to the hospital by the time his alarm went off in the morning. Leia suggested Ben go to school while they waited, but Ben made it clear in no uncertain terms that was not happening. Han was calmer about the situation, going into the shop and telling them to call him if anything changed. Leia elected to work from home so she could keep an eye on Rey. 

It was a tense day. Ben could tell Rey was uncomfortable, but she pressed on, sitting with him to do schoolwork in the morning and agreeing to take a walk around the neighborhood after lunch. A little after three in the afternoon, she emerged from upstairs, hair still wet from a shower, and announced that she was four minutes apart. 

Ben sprang into action, haphazardly shoving his textbooks into his bag and sprinting toward the stairs to get overnight bags. He was soon frustrated by the languid pace of the others, particularly the debate between Leia and Rey on whether the contracts were sufficiently persisting. 

Mercifully, thirty minutes later, they were on the road to Cratertown. Leia drove, allowing Ben to sit in the backseat with Rey, holding her hand as she braced through the contractions. They seemed to last a small eternity to him; he hated how Rey’s face contorted in pain. He refused to actually time the interval between them; if he didn’t, he could dismiss the sense that they were coming more frequently as a warped perception. On the other hand, Rey had her eyes glued to the contraction app on her phone, pressing the big red button each time she squeezed his fingers. 

At the hospital, Leia went inside with Rey, tasking Ben with parking the car and waiting to meet his father, who was allegedly ten minutes behind them. Han actually arrived closer to thirty minutes later, and by the time he and Ben found their way out of the parking structure and into the hospital, they were able to pick up visitors’ badges and be directed to an L&D room. 

Despite his irritation at his father’s tardiness, Ben was happy he was there. While Han was not as composed as his wife, he was downright serene compared to Ben. Maybe this was the type of stuff they had gone over in the childbirth class, and he would have been more prepared if he had attended. But Ben hadn’t, so it was all overwhelming to him. He wouldn’t have even known where to go get a badge — or that he even needed one — if his father hadn’t been there. 

Rey was already in a hospital gown, propped up in bed, and hooked up to monitors when they got to the room. 

“I’m at eight centimeters!” Rey greeted them cheerfully. 

She was significantly less happy about it several hours later when she had not progressed significantly and was staring at Ben like he had committed the world’s gravest betrayal for simply stepping away to grab dinner with his father. He could feel the contempt wafting off her as she aggressively sipped orange juice through a straw.

Leia was in her element, interrogating the staff each time they came in and shooing Ben and his father out periodically so Rey could rest or have privacy for an exam. Just before ten, the nurse declared she was in transition, and Han declared that was the men’s cue to leave. 

Ben gave Rey’s hand a tight squeeze before he left. He felt like he was abandoning her in her hour of greatest need. He wanted to be with her and briefly considered digging his heels in and demanding that he be allowed to stay. Rey’s eyes seemed to express the same desire, wide and longing. He was grateful for his father’s hands, which settled on his shoulders and physically steered him out of the room. 

And then it was just him and Han, sitting in a sparsely populated lounge, waiting impatiently for updates. Ben twiddled on his phone a bit, but there was nothing on the internet that was more engaging than what was going on down the hall. 

“It’s after midnight.” His father’s voice broke through the cacophony of Ben’s thoughts. “Kid will share a birthday with you.” 

“Happy birthday to me, I guess,” Ben muttered. He had been so preoccupied with Rey and the delivery that he hadn’t even realized the date.

“I remember when you were born.” Han stretched his arm along the back of the chair between them. “You looked like a purple potato.” 

Ben recoiled. “A potato?”

Han nodded. “Yep. Only for a couple of minutes. But when I first saw you, I thought something had gone wrong. You looked like something out of a horror movie.” He grinned. “Your mother didn’t care. She was holding you on her chest before the nurses cleaned you.”

Ben twisted his lips thoughtfully. “Were you scared?”

“Terrified. A bit by all the medical stuff, but mostly by realizing that you were there. It wasn’t hypothetical anymore; I was a father for real.” Han shrugged. “Still a better experience than with your sister.” 

Ben furrowed his brow. “You were there when Rey was born?”

“Of course. How could I not after being there for yours?” Han smiled tenderly. “I would never have forgiven myself if I missed it.” He straightened. “Though your mother was angry at me for months for leaving her alone with a newborn to go to London to ‘sort out business stuff with Lando.’” He shrugged, smiling roguishly. “Worth it.” 

Exactly. How could he not be there for the birth of his child? Damn the consequences and his squeamishness: he was going to go into that room and be there for Rey. Resolved, he made to stand up when his father’s phone chimed. 

Han’s smile broadened as he read the message, holding the glowing screen up for Ben to see. “He’s here.” 

******

By the time Leia admitted them into the room, Rey was again propped up at the head of the bed, a tiny swaddle in her arms. She looked exhausted; the edges of her hair were matted in sweat, and she appeared ready to drift off at a second’s notice. But she was vibrant, glowing with an internal strength Ben had never seen in her before. She smiled drowsily as they entered and crowded at the side of the bed to catch a glimpse of the infant. 

“Do you want to hold him?” Rey asked Han. “You have to be quick, or Leia will snatch him away from you.” 

“He’s just so precious!” Leia cooed from her chair on the other side of the bed. 

Han expertly lifted the baby off Rey and cradled him against his chest. “Have you picked a name yet?”

With his father’s shoulders obscuring the view of his child, Ben focused on watching Rey. She was twisting the blue hospital blanket nervously between her fingers with her right hand. 

“Do you remember when I first came to live here, you told me I could have your name — the Solo name — if I wanted it?” Rey was rubbing the blanket between her fingers now. “I was hoping I could have it for him if you’ll still let me.”

“Anything you want.” Han was making googly faces at the sleeping child. He was in heaven; at that moment, Rey could have asked him for the pink slip to his beloved Falcon, and he probably would have signed it over without a second thought. 

“May I hold him?” Ben tried to keep his voice neutral, but he was impatient to finally hold his son, already resentful that both of his parents had the opportunity first. 

Han nodded reluctantly, with Leia instructing Ben to sit down and reminding him how to support the head and neck properly.

There were suddenly two distinct eras in Ben’s life: the eighteen years before his father had placed his son in his arms and after. The baby was tiny, not even the length of his forearm, but he was perfect. His son.

He had a dusting of brown hair, the same shade as Rey’s, and what seemed to be a miniature version of the unfortunate nose shared by the Solo men. Mercifully, he seemed to have been spared Ben’s large ears.  

“So, does my grandson have a first name?”

 Ben could see Rey nodding out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn’t focus on anything other than the child. 

“Last name Solo, after his grandfather. Middle name Clarke, after my mother’s family. And first name Benjamin, after his uncle.” 

Ben lifted his gaze to Rey; her love for him was radiating off her, practically tangible. His mother was making some comment about sharing birthdays and fitting tributes, but it was all background noise to Ben. 

He was here, with the woman he loved, cradling their sleeping son in his arms. In Rey’s face he could see the future ahead of them. They would move out of his parents’ house and into an apartment in a new city. They would be together, without shame, without hiding. Their neighbors wouldn’t know about their past and would just see them as a young, loving family; two parents raising their child together. Rey would do her drawings, and he would work to support them. 

Ben looked back down at his son. Maybe one day, they’d even have another child. 

After all, it’s good for a boy to have a sister.