Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Death changes people.

It's a common phrase, though when most people say it they typically mean how the loss of a loved one makes people reexamine their priorities or even just how some of the inner nastiness that people keep hidden comes to the surface on a loved ones death. Though I found it much more personally applicable to me, since it wasn't that someone else died and it changed me. I died.

And let me tell you, death is a bitch.

"Are you done waxing philosophically in your head again? Because we need to do this test before your four o'clock appointment." Annabel said. Annabel was my assistant, friend, and the picture of a southern belle. Minus the dress, this was a laboratory not a social event.

"I wasn't waxing philosophically in my head. I was thinking about that Qing wizard we met on our last excursion, because damn, he was working it." I replied. No need to have my assistant thinking she knows my inner thoughts.

The fact she knew legilmency was completely beside matters.

I receive a hum of disbelief from my cheeky assistant.

I turned my attention back to my work. Before I had died and been reborn as a witch I certainly wouldn't have thought that I would be known around the magical world for a job that required slow methodical work. Even now I'm fairly impatient and prone to rash acts. Except for this one thing. My work. My art. The one thing in any life I'd ever felt truly accomplished in.

"Alright time to test." I order.

I raise my wand, point it at my target and cast the spell.

"Avada Kedavra."

The green bolt of energy from my want rockets towards the target. A small cage in which a beetle rested, unaware of it fate as a test subject. The beetle, unfortunately, dies immediately. The thirteen rings of runes expanding out ten meters in every direction from the cage prove completely pointless.

I heave a sigh of frustration. "Annabel, mark down test Gamma-1,258 is a failure."

"Yes ma'am." Annabel nods, "I'll check the runes for stresses, seeing which ones were tripped."

I give a tired nod. "Thank you." I then walk over to the Improbably Comfortable Couch and flop into it, immediately feeling the stress from the failed test draining as I embraced a hug from clouds. Or really an ugly plaid colored sofa that had seen better days.

Say what you would about the wizarding community, but we made damn fine furniture. Everything in my home was spelled to be as comfortable as possible.

"Wrph uf mah meefin whuf."

"I can't understand you with your head buried in the couch ma'am."

I contemplate just keeping my head there before turning my head, "Who is my meeting with?"

"A representative with the Wizengamot." My assistant says carefully, her south Georgia accent tripping over the word Wizengamot.

"Wizengamot?" I ask.

"Yes ma'am."

"As in the the Wizengamot of Great Britain?" I say as my temper begins to rise.

"...yes."

"And did I not say that I don't want you to ever accept any jobs for anywhere in Great Britain?" I raise my Occulamency barrier up as I mentally curse. I had managed to make it thirty years in what I recognized as Rowlings Wizarding World without stepping foot into Great Britain and I had no intention of doing so now.

At least all of my actions that had me interact with a Dark Lord in this life were completely accidents. I have no intentions of going near one on purpose.

"You did. But I haven't accepted a job. All that's happening is an in person job offer. They promised to pay us with a Phoenix feather for our time."

I scowl. The fact that it is 1991 and someone is offering to pay me with a phoenix feather makes me feel fairly certain who it is that is setting an appointment with me and what it is that he wanted protected. Though a phoenix feather for just a meeting is a good price. Most feathers were bought up for wands and they were good components to use in my research.

I heave a sigh. Phoenix feathers, which are magically very centered on life and light, do have a good chance in being used somehow to find a counter for the killing curse. And buying wands and breaking them open for the feather is getting very pricey.

"Fine. I'll forgive you. This time." I say with a pointed finger. The effect somewhat ruined my my head still resting on the couch with my ass sticking up in the air.

"Thank you ma'am." Anabel says, clearly not bothered by my threat at all. I swear. Kids these days.

I cast a glance at the clock, the spelled unicorn on the clock was busy grazing on something that wasn't there instead of pointing at the correct time though.
Rather than yell for the magical construct to pay attention I instead just go with my gut and judge that it's probably about 3:30. I hadn't eaten anything yet either. And if I haven't eaten yet then...

"I'm a bad guardian." I say and stand up, "I'm going to make lunch and feed the Little Mogwai. I'll get you something too. It'll be ready when you're done taking notes."

"Sure, sure." Anabel said with a wave already jotting down notes as she went from rune to rune on the last ring.

I walked through the door of my lab and then stepped out of my wardrobe, giving a stretch that popped my back. I stowed my wand in my Victoria's Secret Compartment and walked into a completely muggle looking home.

Well a USA upper middle class muggle home.

Walking into the living room I manage to see that Lee was not wondering around looking for me, and was instead still completely focus on Mario Bros 3.

Good. He knew I had a lab somewhere in the house, he just didn't know where it was. I didn't need him poking at some Cockatrice Quills when I'm not looking.

"Hey kiddo. I'm going to make lunch. What'cha ya want?"

"No thanks Aunt Sephi. I had a peanut butter sandwich earlier." He said without looking up from the TV.

I smiled sadly. The little squirt was growing up and making his own lunches.

Though I suppose this year is also when most magical communities slap a wand in children's hands and teach them how to throw Jelly Leg Curses. Ah. Good times.

"Alright. Well I'm making lunch for me and Annabel now. If you want something too, now is the time to say something. Especially since I have a meeting-"

A knock came at the door.

Well that was too soon. Looking at an actually dependable clock showed me it is more than thirty minutes before my appointment is set. I sigh and go to the front door. There is another knock before I can get there.

"Alright, I get it. You're-" I open the door to reveal a dark skinned man in a three piece suit with cummerbund. The jacket was a metallic silver that seemed to ripple and move like a flowing river, the shirt was a deep black that had small points of glowing stars that moved based on what direction you were looking from and he gold cuff-links that probably cost more than the average American's yearly wage.

"Hey, Septima." The man said, "I came here to-"

I shut the door in his face.

Knocking again quickly followed.

"Go away Gordon." I growled back.

"Come on Septima, just let me in. It's important." Came his muffled reply.

"Get away now or I'll activate my static wards!"

"And having me laying on your front lawn writhing in electricity is better than just talking with me?"

"I promise, you being electrocuted is better than most things." I say as I grab my wand and begin to raise it up the chandler hanging above me, my wand already going to tap the ward combination I wanted on the dangling crystals to both get rid of my annoyance and make it so my neighbors don't notice that the man screaming and wetting himself.

"It's about Lee!" Gordon says.

My wand stops. The door opens.

"Get your ass inside." I let the man in, close and lock the door, and tap a very different set of crystals this time. To anyone not magic sensitive nothing would have seemed to change. Those with magic would suddenly feel a blanket of oppressions descend on them as their very own magic grew as thick an unyielding as syrup and refuse to do anything they commanded. No spells could form in the confines of my property now. Myself included.

Which is why I reached into my pocket and place one hand on my gun.

"Talk." I order.

"It's about the Midas Order. They're planning something at Ambrose Academy this year. They're planning on taking Lee."

"...fuck." I growl. The Midas Order has been a pain in my ass since school days. A more PR friendly version of the Death Eaters really. Instead of being racist their classicist. Which was just so much better morally, in their minds at least. "Why?"

"They seem to think you have something. I don't know what. An item, or even something you've researched. I'm not sure. But they want to have him grabbed and have you ransom it back."

"Why don't they try and do a made up search and seizure like they usually do?" I ask.

"They can't. You've established enough good will with the right people in power they can't just force it without evidence."

Well glad to see my years of work were good for something, but I also knew I couldn't always count on good will. Money and cleverly implied threats have a tendency to make good will not amount for much.

"Anything else?" I ask.

"Yes. I managed to confirm that Headmaster Magecraft is a member."

"Fuck! You bring all kinds of good news." I say, running my had through my pixie cut, idly wishing long hair wasn't so much of a hassle that I would let myself grow it out. If only to pull out at times like this.

Ambros Academy is the only academy on the Pacific coast of the USA. It is zoned for all witches and wizards in California, Oregon, Washington, and parts of Navada, Canada, and Mexico. A huge academy by Wizard standards. And Magecraft had been in charge of it for the last ten years.

"Standards have really fallen since we went there."

"Hey. I'm one of the charms teachers there." Gordon says in defense.

"As I said. They've clearly fallen."

Well I couldn't let Lee go there now. At least not this year, as much as I'd like for him to go to my Alma Mater, that wasn't going to happen now. Still, there was that time I spent as a teaching assistant in Smokey Woods. They don't usually accept transfers, but I might be able to leverage some connections there.

"Fine. Thank you for coming to tell me this." I begrudgingly say, looking down, "I know you risked something to tell me this."

I look up again to see Gordon's lips coming in at me.

One hand claps around his cheeks, the other opens the door, and I physically shove the man out the door, the man stumbling wildly trying to catch himself.

"What! Did I read that wrong or-"

I slam the door shut.

I hate when my plans were ruined. Still, I'm going to take him to Wavestum's to get his wand before we go anywhere. He made damn good wands. I use my own turtle shell wand to again tap at the chandelier and lower the barriers on the house again before turning away.

A knock came from the door.

"Listen can't you take a-"

An old man in bright purple robes stood on my doorstep. "I'm sorry. I am a bit early, thought I just thought you might want to know an upset looking man in very expensive clothes was staring at your house for a while when I arrived."

I close my eyes and count backwards from ten while raising my occlumency up to be as powerful as I could get it.

"Yes. Albus Dumbledore I presume." I say while extending a hand.

He reaches forward to return the gesture, shaking my hand with a grip so weak it surprised me a bit. "You presume correctly Miss Wickett. Thank you so kindly for meeting with me."

"Come on in. I was just about to make lunch if you'd like to join me."

"I would be delighted. I have heard much about you American's 'Hotdogs' and have been looking forward to trying one, if you have it."

A smile tugged at my lips. "Sure. I think I can set you up. I have some sauerkraut and left over chillie too, so you can get it right on your first try. Come on in."

Chapter Text

Septima restrained herself from seeming overly hostile to her half-expected guest. It wasn't Dumbledore's fault that a decade of history was crashing into her at the same time he came knocking.

Unless he was, but she tried to stay away from being that paranoid.

"So, I have your hotdog cooking, you want sauerkraut or chilli?" I asked as I made something that had damn near every European look at me in disgust.

Iced sweet tea.

"I am your guest. I suppose whichever you would consider the more American." Dumbledore responded.

Well, I could hardly resist an invitation like that.

"Alrighty, Chilli Dogs with a side of Freedom." I responded with a smile.

"Now, my understanding is that you are paying me a phoenix feather to speak with me. A pretty hefty payment for just a meeting. What can I do you for?"

"Yes, thank you. As you have no doubt guessed I'm looking for some assistance in setting up some further wards and defenses at Hogwarts. I recently came into possession of an item I wish to have as well protected as I could get it." The wizard stated as he walked over to a wooden chair at my table and sat down. "When I was- oh!"

Dumbledore adjusted himself a bit in the seemingly simple wooden chair.

"That is quite comfy." He stated.

"Thanks. All my furniture has been spelled to as comfortable as possible. I'm glad you approve." I responded as I went to the pantry to get the ingredient that would give my food that extra dose of Freedom.

"The work is well done." He complimented before leaning back and the solid wood chair leaned back with him. "As I was saying, when I was looking into the best person to place wards and protections it was your name that kept coming up. Your reputation precedes you. The vast majority of your clients I've contacted tell me that they felt you undercharged them for your services."

Ordinarily I would respond to such praise with denial or a humble statement in return. But this was about my work. And I did damn good work.

"Yes. I'm easily one of the top ten best in my field in the whole world. If you want it protected, I'm one of the best options."

"Indeed." Dumbledore agreed. "Always nice to see a witch that knows the value of her work. But I noticed that none of your work has landed you in the British Isles, despite frequent requests and large amounts of compensation offered."

I gave, or at least tried to give a dismissive shrug as I cast a warming charm on container of chili.

"I don't do what I do for money." I stated simply.

"No, you do not. As several villages in the Quing province can attest to after you warded their villages from their local vampire problem. You charged them a noodle recipe if the stories are to be believed." The old man said in way that was quite clear he believed the stories to be true.

"It was a good deal. I make some badass dumplings now."

A smile tugged at Dumbledore's lips as his eyes twinkled in amusement.

"I must say, you are probably right. But I also know that the Malfoy family has tried to have you put wards upon their home and were willing to pay you enough that you could have bought all the villages that you warded. St. Mungo's Hospital has also offered you quite the hefty sum for you to pay them a visit as well." The man took his half moon glasses off his nose and gave them a polish on his robes.

"It would seem to me that you have something against The British Isles Miss Septima."

Damn wizards that actually do their research before hand. They were so much harder to wave off.

"Alright, let me stop you right there. This isn't just about an object you want protected, is it? I doubt you'd have stated with all of that rigmarole without having another angle here. What do you really want?" I asked as I slapped a now cooked hotdog on a bun alongside a scoop of chili, a dollop of sour cream, and a sprinkle of Freedom.

My slightly crude response seemed only to please the owner of Death's wand. "Very well. I want you to not just put up protections on this item, but also several other tasks around the school that will take quite a bit of your time. So I would like to offer you a teaching position at the school for your time frame as well."

Hell's bells, I haven't stepped foot in Magical Britain specifically to avoid having to deal with the bullshit of this plot, but it seemed intent on reaching out and pulling me in.

Granted, I've still crossed paths with two other Dark Lords, been entangled in five separate conspiracies, and had way more attempts on my life than one should be able to get away with. But with those I at least didn't KNOW I was flinging myself into life threatening situations.

I slid the chilidog over to my guest and sat down across from him.

"And what makes you think that I'll accept your deal when I've turned down all those others? You going to offer me money? Magical ingredients? A fleet of house elves? I've been offered all that before. What could you offer?" I challenged.

"The only things you seem to care about Miss Septima." The old man's features softened and the weight of the world suddenly landed on his shoulders. "I offer my sincerest pleas that you help me. Very bad things are going to start happening in my home very soon, and I need all the help I can get to protect the lives of my students."

Damn it. Sincerity and the safe care of children. My greatest weaknesses.

"That's not fair." I muttered.

"No. It is not. But I believe you have a book you wrote that says one should never play fair in the protection of their home." Dumbledore stated.

Fuck. He read my book too.

I resisted the urge to childishly punch the air in frustration. He got me to actually consider taking the job. At this point avoiding Magical Britain was almost silly considering what I had already run into in my life, and I had a skill set well suited to what Dumbledore needed. Finding out that Lee couldn't safely attend Ambrose Academy also meant that this was opportunity to fix things for him as well.

While I stewed over his words Dumbledore took a bite of his meal. Fireworks shot out of the man's nose with the sound of gunfire before exploding into a red white and blue bald eagle that looked like it had both middle fingers raised.

The Headmaster of Hogwarts had a moment of stunned silence before letting out a long hearty laugh. He even slapped his knee.

"Served with Freedom indeed! You are right. This is the most American of hotdogs!" He continued to laugh and shook his head.

I couldn't help but let out my own chuckles. It was a bad joke, but one I loved. It told you a lot about a person in how they responded to the joke. Some were offended. Some gave polite laughter. And some, like my current guest, quickly took another bite to see if it did something different on the second bite.

It did. This time it was an American flag that said "Fuck Yeah".

Dumbledore continued with his amused laughter, though more subdued now that it didn't catch him by surprise.

"How many different effects does it do?" He asked.

"Just the two." I admitted. "It used to be three but now that Lee lives with me I figured flaming penises that say 'FREEDOM' are not appropriate."

I justified all this with the fact that in this life I grew up in the late sixties and early seventies. If it had been my first life...it probably still would have been the same.

"Yes, well I might have you only teach the older students then." The man waved away the phantom smoke left by the spell.

If all this was an act to make me like him, this was a damn good one. I could feel a slightly kindred spirit in the Headmaster. A desire to protect. The ability to take a joke. Finding flaming penises funny.

"If I were to come I'd need Lee to come too." I stated. "This isn't negotiable."

"Of course. I had expected nothing less."

"And you have to have a room for Annabel too. My research doesn't stop just because I'm there." I added.

"We have plenty of rooms. I'll put her down as a teachers assistant. Further, I can promise one phoenix feather a week for your research."

Damn that was a good deal. Phoenix feathers were plenty rare and were also the best ingredient I'd found to help resist the killing curse. It didn't stop it yet, but it was one of the best at slowing it down.

"You realize that if I do come, I'm going to be bringing my own problems too. I have my own secrets and my own dark wizards that wish to see me harm. Ones not native to your neighborhood."

My guest took a moment to shoot a flaming eagle out of his nose before he responded.

"Yes. Should they decide you are worth pursing you half way across the world I'm certain that I can assist you with them. You might not know, but I'm something of an accomplished duelist in certain circles."

Said the man that beat Wizard Hitler.

"I may have heard something along those lines, yes." I agreed.

Having someone like Dumbledore ready to back me up when my past comes knocking was a mighty attractive prospect as well. All around this seemed like a great offer, and I knew what was going on there so I couldn't even say it was too good to be true.

"All I can say is that I'll think about it. I have to talk with Annabel and Lee before I can respond."

Dumbledore gave a nod. "Understandable. I can give you a week to decide. Any longer and the school board won't accept any changes so close to the start of school."

"Yeah. That's fair. I'll owl you the message within a week." I said with a small amount of relief. It meant I didn't have to do it today, and not having to do something today was always a great feeling.

I stood up and went to my fridge to pull out a good buy present. A slice of apple pie. I put it into its own container and handed it over to Dumbledore.

"For your return trip."

"Oh? Apple pie? Anything magical about it?" He asked in interest, and probably also to make sure he didn't shoot fireworks on public transport.

"Yes. It tastes magical when combined with vanilla ice cream." I answered. "Also, you'll need this." I placed a small pink bottle on the container.

"Oh? And this potion is?"

"Pepto Bismol. After that chilidog you'll need it. Trust me."

The man arched an eyebrow but accepted my gifts and followed me to the front door.

"Well Miss Septima, it was a pleasure making your acquaintance. Should you decline the position, I would still love the opportunity to discuss more on your theory of magical counter-resonance when you have the time."

"Certainly." I responded. I would be a fool to turn down an offer from one of the premier magical minds of the world allowing me to bounce ideas off of him.

With a handshake and a wave my guest was gone, leaving only a very large decision in his wake.

"Sepi? How's that lunch coming boss?" Came Annabel's southern twang.

Damn. Forgot about that.

"Let's just hope I don't forget anything else important." I muttered to myself.

After all. If I went for this little adventure, forgetting things could get people killed.

No pressure or anything.

Chapter Text

"So Ambrose Academy is out." Annabel says after I relay the message about both my guests of the day. "Then how about Smokey Woods?"

I shake my head. Unlike me, Annabel went to Smokey Woods, a magic school located in the mountains of Tennessee. The school brought in children from all over the southeast united states, minus the southern half of Florida and the bottom edge of Mississippi. I spent a couple years there as a teaching assistant after I graduated from Ambrose Academy. It's how I got Annabel as an assistant.

"I'm going to try and give Principle Abernathy a call in a bit. But I'm not sure. He's had a sudden influx of students in the last few years and I don't know that he'll have an open spot." I take a sip of my iced tea and close my eyes. "Plus...well Lee might not exactly...fit in."

Annabel gives a begrudging nod. Lee's very Asian features would stand out starkly at Smokey Woods. He'd probably be the only Asian student in the whole school.

"But I wanted to get him a staff." Annabel whines. Unlike most of the wizarding world the wizards and witches that came through Smokey Meadows all used staves instead of wands. There were certain benefits to having a big walking stick instead of a small wand.

Like being able to smack a bitch upside the head.

"It's still possible. Plus I'd love to see Lee get a southern accent." I grin madly at the image. Lee would hate it.

"A posh British one would suit him though." Annabel adds, immediately making my mood sour. Annabel's own face grew somber at my reaction. "Why do you hate England so much?"

That was a tough one. I have never gone over my meta knowledge with anyone else. Aside from a drunken night that still had people looking at me like I'd grown a second head. At this point is was more the fact that I had never brought it up before that keeps me silently. After all, to do so now begs the question of why I didn't trust them enough to tell them earlier and I'm just not ready for that question.

Conflict avoidance at it's finest.

"I have certain information." I finally admitted. "Their Dark Lord, Voldemort, he's not dead. He became some sort of lich. He's there still lurking and wanting to hit it big again. No one can beat him unless they gather his McGuffins. Plus, ya know, all the racism." I admit in a dry tone, like one talks about earthquakes happening in other countries.

"Oh." Annabel responded in kind, though hardly flinching at the subject. The southern belle had experience the power of two different Dark Lords with me and a more personal hatred than racism before I came around. This wasn't anything particularly impressive to her. "That is a pickle."

"But their whole thing was blood purity right?" Annabel asked rhetorically, "Lee would be fine. He's pureblood."

"Yeah. And they'd call you a mudblood." I say with a shake of my head. "I don't need some pompous so-and-so getting me in trouble for asking me to punch him in the face."

"You won't have to." She says, picking up her cypress staff. The gnarled wood comes up to her chin when she is standing and is about two inches thick. The staff is topped with an egg-shaped geode that has a holes drilled in the seven places to give just a peak of the purple crystals inside. It also has the foot of a jackalope somewhere inside it, which acted as it's core. "Lucky here can change the minds of anyone stupid enough to say that around me."

"You would be both a foreigner and a muggleborn. Lots of the elites there will hate you for just being yourself."

"Right. And you just being yourself will work just as quickly." Annabel says with an eyeroll. "You put a bee in the bonnet of every upper crust snob we've ever crossed paths with."

"I still want to see if we can get Smokey Woods. If we can't it's basically no decision at all." I say in lieu of acknowledging the flagrant exaggeration of my apprentice. Upper crust snobs have only swore a blood feud with me a few...dozen times. Hardly worthy of note. I made plenty of them very happy with me and my work.

"What? No Ilvermorny?" She teases.

"God no." I reply, which results in a slap on my arm. "Oh come on. That's not in vain."

She glares at me.

"If there is a God that cares about me swearing by their name I'm going to be going to hell for plenty of other reasons well before that."

It's an old argument. One neither of us are ready to rehash currently.

"And you're sure he HAS to use a wand or staff?" She asks me.

"Yes. Our past is going to catch up with us eventually. He needs the combat abilities that comes with a staff or wand." A wizard doesn't always need one of those. Plenty of wizard communities don't use them. But those same communities tended towards long ritual like magic or potions, which historically do a poor job of stopping a wizard from apparateing behind you and cursing you when you step outside for a smoke or a to get groceries.

"Well if that's the worry you can always have him go to" Annabel slows as she she says the next part, Spanish didn't mix well with southern country accents, "Ile de Triangulo."

"Really? You are suggesting he go learn Hoodoo?"

"Of course not." She shakes her head, "I'm just sayin' that if combat mattered most to you, that's where you'd send him. You're looking for more than that."

I wince. It was a fair assessment. Ile de Triangulo was an odd mix of African, Native American, and European traditions that made for something very potent and impressive. If only it's magical community could stop from all killing each other. Grudges ran deep and old in Ile de Triangulo, and it had a bad reputation for good reason. Learning, and even using the Dark Arts was not optional. Being able to cast the Killing Curse was on the final exam for graduation.

"Fine. Yes. If only because he only knows English and his Mandarin has atrophied, Lee needs an English speaking school. So with all that it amounts to either Smokey Woods or Hogwarts."

"Well then why you sitting here like a bump on a log? Call Principle Abernathy and see if we can get Lee in." Annabel said excitedly. "I'd love to show him the Crystal Falls."

"Fine, it's what, 9 PM there? He's probably about to head to bed. I'll see if I can get ahold of him. Can you handle starting dinner?" I ask.

"Sure 'nuff." She responds as she hikes up her sleeves. "I think this will be a great pulled pork night."

I give a wave a agreement and waked away. I trusted most anything Annabel made in the kitchen. Being a first class potions maker seemed to pair well with being a chef.

I move with purpose to my study. There was a very real risk I couldn't contact the Principle if I didn't hurry. The man followed the creed "early to bed, early to rise" zealously, and it took some real convincing to get the man to allow students a curfew later than six o'clock. That's what you get when the head of your magic school spent most of his life as a farmer I suppose.

I open the top drawer of my desk and start to rummage through the various papers, knickknacks, paperclips, a few pieces of gum, and one or two items that should NOT have been in a drawer a child could poke around in. Finally I just lean down and put my head and the top of my torso into the seemingly small containment space.

"Ah ha!" I cry as I pull free the horn of a stag the length of my arm and the width of my torso. Unlike a normal deer horn though, this one was a transparent blue, almost as if made from glass. It was an interesting bit of enchantment in this thing. Deer shed their horns every year and the Ghost Deer lived indefinitely. Principle Abernathy had figured out to link every pair of horns that a single Ghost Deer shed so you could use it like a phone.

The feat was damn impressive, and it really made a name for old Jabidiah Abernathy. Still trying to figure out why he didn't just use an actual phone though.

I twist the antler's horns a bit, fanning them out for a better signal, then finally tap my wand against it's base and muttering "Communicus."

The base of the horn opened pealed up and away, exposing a dark abyss that had no business being in the semi-transparent material. The sound of banjo music and the crackle of a fire poured through.

"Mr. Abernathy, are you there? It's Septima."

The banjo suddenly cut out. There was the sound of things being moved around before finally an old voice that spoke with the very essence of Tennessee came through.

"Lil' Sepi! That you? What in the Sam Hill are you doin' callin a man this late. You ain't trying to start nothing is ya? Cause I'm still plum perfect with the missus."

"But Jeb. My love is pure, and burns in my loins with the fires a thousand suns." I state dryly.

"Oh. Well ya hear that Edna! Sepi's calling to steal me away from you!" He calls away from the horn.

"You can have him." I heard as a distant reply.

"You hurt me Edna, right here." The old man's voice moves back closer the horn, "So what can I do fer you sweetie?"

"Well, I've run into some trouble. It's about Lee."

"That youngin' you picked up?"

"Yeah. The school I was planning on taking him to has grown-" I hesitate for a moment. Jeb was the sort of man that moved mountains for children. If the stories are to be believed that was true in a very literal sense. The man wasn't meant to be trifled with. He also had the subtlety of a hammer to the face. If I wasn't careful he'd fly here and try and drag Abrose Academy's headmaster out of the school by his ear.

"It's grown inconvenient for us to go there." I finally decide on.

"Inconvenient? Do I need ta kick down doors and tan some hides?" He asks.

I hear vague muttering in the background. "I can too woman! I have the stamina of an ox!"

I shook my head. How this man ended up in any sort of political position was very much in question to me.

"No. Don't think you're there yet. But I was wondering if you had an opening for Lee there? I know this is a little last minute."

The line went worryingly silent.

After a full minute of tense silence the voice came back on.

"I'm sorry Sepi. I can't. I used every last one of my favors this year already. It's been a bad batch for some o' the firsties this year. I'm already over capacity by a mile." The voice on the horn sounded like he just said he had to put his own dog down. For all his faults, Principle Abernathy cared deeply for his charges.

I didn't have to ask what the issue was. It was a constant problem in Smokey Woods. Most of the students come from homes that were in the bible belt. Homes that were raised being told "Suffer not a witch to live." Most students were fine, but many others...well they needed someplace to go to get away from their parents.

"I figured that might be the case." I say with disappointment.

"Sorry Sepi. Though my ol' checkers buddy was askin' fer someone of your skill set recently. I pointed him yer way. He runs a fancy pants school in England. He might could help ya out."

I take a moment for the dial up tone in my head to clear up as my mind slowly caught up with what he just said.

"You're old checkers buddies with Albus Dumbledore?" I ask in shock.

"Sure enough am. He used to trade knitting tips with Edna first tho. Ain't that right Edna?"

That...sounds perfectly in line with what I know of Dumbledore actually. Though I'm not sure if the combo of Dumbledore and Abernathy being friends is cute, weird, or terrifying.

"I spoke with him already." I say. "He is willing to give Lee a spot, but I just wanted to see if I could get him into Smokey Woods first."

"I'd be pleased as punch to have you around again Darlin', but I think the old Pimple Pig school is your better option."

I give a laugh. I had never once heard Jeb ever call another Wizard school by it's correct name. I am certain he did it on purpose.

"Alright. Thanks Jeb. I'll send you some fresh fire-nuts before I leave California."

"No problem Sepi. Edna will probably have a pie waiting for you wherever you end up. You take care now. I gotta take my frustrations on your rejecting me out on my wife."

I roll my eyes. "You do that Jeb. Bye."

The connection breaks the whole in the bottom of the horn closes up.

Well. That was it then. Annabel will be disappointed. Still, there were a lot of positives for this. This was only the first year anyways, that was nothing. I could handle any of the trouble from that easy.

A 12 year-old managed it. I think I can get by. Besides, it's not like the Midas Order would travel half-way across the world for just one little key.

Chapter Text

"So have you sent Dumbledore that letter yet?" Annabelle asks from the stove.

"Better question. How's breakfast coming? I'm starving." I respond.

I feel Annabelle's glare at the back of my head and instead focus on the article about which Quafliump teams would make it to nationals.

"You ain't going to keep dodging my questions forever Sepi. You gotta get that letter out in the next three days." Annabelle lectures.

I'm pretty sure I am supposed to be her boss.

"I can't send the letter yet. I haven't even asked Lee if he wants to go there." I say while not bringing up that Annabelle and I have narrowed it down as the best option for him; unless he wanted to either learn a new language, or learn spell work that didn't use wands or staves.

"It's been three days. When exactly were you planning on having this conversation?" Annabelle asked as she flipped a pancake on the stove.

She was right. I am avoiding the subject. My mind had already accepted that Hogwarts is the best choice for him and his schooling. It is also a great boon to my research in multiple ways. However my heart, long set against the school, rebels against it, over all making for a witch that just can't be bothered to address the subject.

"I dunno. Later. Today probably." I respond.

"Mhm." Anabelle says in a tone similar to when a chocolate covered Lee claimed he hadn't had any sweets all day. "What time today?"

"Ya know. Later." I reply again as I pretend to be even more engrossed in what was in the newspaper in front of me. As if Quafliump scores were utterly captivating.

My feigned interest in the sports section did little as the paper was snatched from me and a smiling pancake was placed in front of me.

"Today is going to be a beautiful day!" The pancake said in a cheery falsetto.

"Stop avoidin' this Sepi!" She growls.

"Turn that frown upside down!" The pancake says cheerfully.

"I'll get to it. I just need a good time."

There was a moment of silence between us.

"I'm part of a delicious-!" Annabelle cuts the pancake off with a squirt of syrup into it's blueberry eyes.

"Lee!" She yells.

"Yeah?" The young voice calls back form the TV room.

"Ambrose Academy has bad guys in charge this year. Wanna go to Hogwarts?" She yells as she ignores my glare.

"The one British place?" Lee askes, ignoring the dangerous information in a way that only children could.

"Yep." Annabelle responds, not backing away from my glare.

"Are they a well known school? Will passing there mean something to the right people?" Lee asks.

Damn munchkin. What's he doing asking questions like that at his age?

"Yeah. It's world famous."

There was a moment of silence, which probably had more to do with the fact I heard the music of a power star being used than any sort of consideration on Lee's part. A little ditty then plays announcing Mario reached the end of a level.

"Yeah. That's fine. So long as you two will still be there." He yells back casually.

"Thanks Lee! Come get your pancakes!" She calls before giving me a triumphant smile.

"Start eating fast before I get soggy~!" The pancake sings.

"Do I need to write the letter too?" She asks.

I grumble and drag my knife across the pancake, cutting off it's mouth and gratefully shutting it up.

"No." I shove a fourth of the pancake in my mouth then continue with a full mouth, "But ha'm gonna get hem hish wan' today firs."

"Honestly Sepi. Do you want to raise Lee with no table manners?"

Lee comes running into the room and almost knocks his chair over as he leaps into it.

"Did you say we were getting my wand today!? When, when?" He asks excitedly.

"Happy Breakfast little boy!" His pancake sings at him.

"Hi pancake." He acknowledges before turning hopeful eyes back at me.

I take a gulp of milk before swallowing. Those eyes are deadly. They make the word "no" forbidden in it's area of effect. I glance down to get away from them. Instead I look at at my plate to see a blueberry face smiling happily at me. Well, smiling minus three quarters of it's mouth.

The pancake's apparent glee at being eaten was uncomfortable enough to have me look up at the still watery puppy dog eyes.

I apparently only hold the illusion of power in my own home.

"Yeah. We'll go after breakfast, before the rush." I concede.

"Yes!" Lee yells.

"Hooray!" His pancake cheers with him.

Lee then begins to consume his breakfast far faster than is healthy. Unlike me, he saves the pancakes mouth for last, the high pitched voice cheering on the boy's progress.

"Five bucks says his wand has a dragon theme." Annabelle says as she sits with her own breakfast. One that doesn't talk to her. She finds that off-putting for some odd reason.

Breakfast passes quickly and I bid Lee to run off and get dressed. I also head to my room and make myself presentable for the outside world. My teenage years proved that, unfortunately, even the most insular purebloods still know the difference between a bathrobe and an actual wizards robe.

That or it was the bunny slippers.

Still, I quickly change into the Septima special; a button up shirt with a collar with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of stonewashed blue jeans. My pixie cut needed only a muttered spell and a small sprits of hairspray. A quick smack in the face with Marigold's Makeup Masher and I am good to go.

Lee awaits me in the hall. The kid is growing up fast. He is still a bit short for his age bracket, but the 12-year old had managed to put on two inches in the last six months. Which makes him a 4'8" example of concentrated sweetness.

"You're taking forever Aunt Sepi! Let's go!"

Or an example of concentrated pain in the ass. One of the two.

"Yeah, yeah. Keep your overalls on Mogwai." I reply. "We're going. Head to the floo."

"Whoo!" Lee yells before running off.

"No running in the house!" I yell with the tone all guardians of children knew. When one must observes the forms of antient customs but knows they will to be no effect.

There was a reason the floors all had cushioning charms on them.

I set a sedate pace for the fire place as Lee runs back with the jar of floo powder, rather than wait for me to reach him.

"Well if you don't wanna go, you can just say so. No need to put on this entirely fake front of excitement." I state drolly.

"Ah, come on Aunt Sepi! There's no way you weren't just as excited getting your wand!"

I am entirely sure I had much less enthusiasm when I went to get my wand. Meta knowledge on what horrors awaited people in the wizarding world lead to very mixed feelings on my first outing to get my wand.

Then again, Lee knew that all too well too.

"You have no evidence, so your hypothesis is thrown out due to a lack of evidence." I respond simply.

Lee, in a show if intelligence that I can probably learn from, shut his mouth so that we wouldn't delay our trip any further.

I snort and take a pinch of the floo powder. "Dragon's Breath Hall." I state concisely before stepping into the fireplace.

The floo was an interesting sensation to me. I've heard over many years that different people have very different reactions to it. Some feel the sensation as speed, others heat, even other as an icy sensation.

For me, it was an odd sensation of the three. I feel fast and fiery wind slamming into my front, while an icy cold crawled up my legs and back. It lasts only for a flash. An instant so short I could only have defined it so well due to the frequency at which I feel the sensation. Then I step out into the toasty air of Dragon's Breath Hall.

The wizard community in California was an odd one in comparison to most of the world. Most magical communities in the world erred to congregating at old structures. Places that you could enter and feel the weight of tradition and history. Depending on how often magic has been cast at the location, that weight can be very literal. However, the California community flocked to the new. The fancy. The ostentatious.

Dragon's Breath Hall was all of that and more. The ceiling had more in common with a cathedral than a bar, stretching at least 50 feet up into the air. The struts of the ceiling were made of the interlocking skeletons of four separate dragons. The four skeletons looking the world like Atlas holding up the world, only instead they were holding up a chandelier studded ceiling while their heads all gazed at the middle of the room, their boney jaws roaring open as small spots of light poured forth from their mouths like their fires did in life. The fist sized balls of light swirled where they met in the middle before flittering off to dance among the chandeliers until their magic faded away and the light died.

It was flashy. It was needlessly expensive. And it was so fucking cool.

The opulence didn't end there though. Dragon's Breath Hall is more like a shopping mall than anything else. It has a massive long hall divided into two stories with more than fifty shops dotted along either length of the hall per story. In the very middle of the hall, directly under the meeting of the dragon's breath, sat an unnatural pond that holds water as smooth as a mirror.

Said pool perfectly reflected the ceiling. Only instead of artificial lights and skeletons, the reflections showed dragon's fire and four perfectly healthy dragons with bright eyes locked into the middle of the room. Meeting the eyes of the reflections never failed to make me feel like a rabbit being eyed by hungry owl.

The sound of the floo roars again and I give me a half turn to see Lee stepping through. His eyes lock on the dancing lights above us for a moment, not paying much more attention than a the average person would acknowledge a lightbulb, before he starts looking for Wavestrum's.

Getting a feeling of awe and wonder from a child raised in a wizard's house is hard. Granted, he's no stranger to Dragon's Breath Hall.

"Alright, come on kiddo. Let's get you a wand."

We take a short stroll past Zeta's Zoo of Magnificent Mammals, Frigg's Cauldron, and Delilah's Delicacies before arriving at our destination. Wavestrum's Wand Emporium, the best place to find a wand on the west coast. I step into the shop and immediately feel the tingle of magic in the air. Wand making was very magic intensive business, and any shop used to make them will always have a charge in the air that had magic just begging to be used.

Which is also why a wand shop is the best place to test wands too.

"William? You in?" I call.

"Septima? I'll be out in a bit." Says a voice that managed to crack like a teenager in the grips of puberty, then the owner of the store stepped out from the back room. William is an older man in his late 60's. His salt and pepper hair was clearly losing its fight against baldness, to the point that the man should really just shave it off. His skin an ambiguous caramel that came people's that live in sunny areas, though I know that his mother came from Guam and his father from Italy, and his whole front was currently covered in a fine green dust. "It's good to see you again! How is Alucious treating you?"

"The wand has been a good and loyal companion." I reply with a smile. Wavestrum's had a long history of naming their wands. I didn't know a single person who bought a wand here and hasn't had William ask after the wand by name every time they see the old man. He never forgets a wand.

"And you are...Charles, right?" He asks Lee.

People were a very different matter though.

"Um...no. My name is Lee." He says as if he were the adult talking to a child. "We've met four times before."

"What do you have going on back there William?" I interrupt before that could go further. I locked eyes to the dull green powder all over the man. "Working with more World Tortoise Shell?"

"Oh no." William said with a wave of his hand. "Outside your wand I've only managed to match three other people with one of those. A stubborn material for sure. Nope, I'm working with Green Kirin horn today."

I shake my head, as the man casually mentions working with a material that costs more than house. That is the difference between Wavestum's Wands and most other places. He doesn't just use wood for the wand casing, but something from magical creatures, in addition to the core inside. It also makes his wands ten times more expensive than most other places too. Even then his profit margin was small. But I personally knew his stuff was always dependable.

And he gives a lifetime guarantee on wands. Which usually just meant he re-forges the wand from the same materials free of charge.

"No. Lee is here to get a wand." I say while placing a hand on the kiddo's shoulders.

"Ah! That age already. My my my." William shakes his head and walks over to a display case to start pulling out wands. "Headed to Ambrose Academy already?"

I open my mouth to confirm. No need to spread my travel plans around.

"No. I'm going to-" Lee began, but then he caught my wince. That or he just realized that discretion had great value. "Somewhere else." He finishes.

"Not Ambrose Academy? Shame shame shame." William shakes his head before glancing to me. "I assume you don't intend to by a blonde?"

A blonde was slang for a "blank wand". The cheapest wands William makes; a core of boggart hair with a casing of coyote bones. A combo that always adapted to it's wielder and guaranteed a wand that would work for whoever wields it. It helped families with slim wallets spend money on other things. Like Abrose Academy's hefty tuition.

"Nope. I'm good for whatever wand he's matched with." I state as I grab Lee's hand to stop him from touching one of the available wands. "Don't touch until he hands it to you."

Lee scowls. "I wasn't going to touch it."

"Mhm. You were just helpfully going to nudge it from the edge of the counter."

"Exactly!" He says, nodding his head.

"Here you are young man. Kitsune hair and mandrake wood." William brought the wand towards Lee before pausing. "Point the wand only at the ceiling and definitely not at the wand case."

I shoot William a look, which he ignores.

"Also don't point it at us." I state.

"Oh. Yes yes yes. That too."

Priorities. William has them.

Lee takes hold of the wand, only for the wand to grow a ten inch long fox head that began screaming in a high pitch wail. I grab my ears in an attempt to block out the noise. William snatches the wand out of Lee's hand.

"Well that ones a failure." The man pauses. "Wait wait wait. Did you enjoy that?" He asks Lee.

Lee adopts a look of shocked insult. "No!"

"Right. Just making sure. Mandrake was a bad match." Will grabs another and places it in Lee's waiting, and much less excited, hands. "Try this. Minitour Horn and Gruffle Snot."

The wand sat inert in his hands.

"My my my. Interesting reaction." The wand is quickly removed and another is placed. "Coatle fang and Ent Sap."

This one immediately shot a blob of sticky green goo into the ceiling. The ceiling immediately rippled like a bowl of jello before the substance disappeared. As it will with most spells that hit it. One of my finer bits of work. Wavestrum's was my first big job. William had grown tired of his walls and ceiling needing constant repairs and I reached out to help.

The results spoke for themselves.

My focus drifts away from Lee as I look at the shop. It has changed a lot from when I first came in many years ago. Years ago it was a struggling store, first beginning it's business. William started with trying to make cheap and affordable wands for everyone. His business failed until he started selling the novel high end wands. The high society snobs ate up that their tools were made of not wood, but the very fiber of magical creatures.

The money that William got from their sales let him finish making the blank wands. A ground breaking achievement. But the needlessly expensive wands are what allowed him to turn the shop full of second hand furniture and mildew smells to a shop with spacious area, brightly lit display cases, floors of plush carpet, and walls and counters of Unnaturally White Elm.

"Wow!" Lee exclaims, making my gaze drift back to him. At some point the boy had managed to become covered in soot. However the boy had a small figure made of ethereal grey running up his arm. The figure looked reminiscent of a dog in it's build, but with a massive mane of and the face of a predatory cat. The creature came to Lee's shoulder where it stopped, stood perfectly still, then slowly faded away.

"Well, I believe we have our winner." William states happily.

Lee turns his gaze to white wand in his hand. The wand looks like twelve inches of ivory at a glance, the base of the wand thicker than most and the tip having a very slight upward bend to it.

"What is this?" I ask.

"Imperial Dragon's claw with a Foo Dog's tail as the core." William stated happily. "I never thought I'd get to sell this thing."

Of fucking course it was. And those two pieces had to be ludicrously expensive too, considering the rarity of Imperial Dragons and how stingy the owners of Foo Dogs typically were.

"How much is this? We looking at soul shattering or life of servitude." I ask in resignation.

"Oh not that bad. I'm giving you this at cost." William says before turning to Lee and giving a serious look. "I'm going to need you to take really good care of Bobert."

"Bobert?" Lee asked with a lemon face.

"And how much is cost for Bobert?" I ask.

"Hey hey hey. I name all the wands that come through here. I can't help it if they aren't all winners." He says as he gestures around at the dozens of wands currently on display.

"Oh." Lee pauses. "Can I at least change it's name?"

"Sure Lee. Now, how much is Bobert?" I ask again, more insistently.

William's expression cracked like glass. "I...suppose you can rename it. If you would be okay with the wand renaming you."

"Sure. That's no big deal."

I place a hand on William's shoulder and firmly turn him towards me. "How much is Bobert!?"

He tells me. The price is somewhere between ouch and boing.

"Wow." I breathe and loosen my grip. I turn to look at Lee clutching his wand to his chest like it were a new born child. "You're lucky you're cute kid." I mutter.

I reach into my expanded wallet and pay for fucking Bobert.

Chapter Text

"Well, you have your wand. Congrats kid, you have your first step to unlimited cosmic power." I said as we exited the store.

"Finally. You took forever to actually give him the money." Lee complained.

"Hey! That was a lot of money! My instincts were screaming at me to not let go of the bag and to make sure I paid him the right amount." I held up my hands as I walked out of the store and over to the clear fountain in the center of Dragon's Breath Hall

"You didn't need to count through the money six times though."

"That was all my cash, Little Mogwai. You got enough money to pay for all our bills?"

Lee rolled his eyes dramatically and leaned over to gaze into the pool below, the reflection showing what the dragon skeletons above us looked liked in their prime.

"Aunt Sepi, I know that wasn't all your money. You're way too stingy to spend all of your money on that."

"It was too all my money." That I had liquid outside of a bank right now.

"And all the money in your savings?"

"Well, yes, I do still have that."

"And in your IRA's?"

"The hell do you know about IRA's?"

"And in the stock market."

"Alright, don't beat a dead horse now. That stuffs all hard to access though."

Fine. I might have been what some people call filthy rich, but that's what happens when you know the major economic trends for several decades in advance. Plus when you are one of the foremost experts in magical shields and wards. Plus when your muggle dad was a major player in telecommunications.

That didn't mean one should be irresponsible with money.

"Uh huh." Lee said, unconvinced.

"Yes huh." I maturely responded. "But if you are going to be like that after I just bought a wand valued somewhere in the neighborhood of a sports car, I'm not going to talk to you."

I made a show of giving a humph and turning my head away from him to look into the pool of water.

"Oh come on Aunt Sepi. Don't be like that." Lee consoled as he giggled. Lee always had fun with me faking overly indignant response, so I made a show of finding something else to look at.

My eyes catch the gaze of one of dragon reflections. It's eyes burned with intensity and I felt a chill go down my spine. Dragons were the apex predators of the world. Humans just learned to gang up. Dragons were beautiful and dangerous and the reflection in the water managed to capture that so completely that it surpassed reality. I'd faced dragons without balking.

The eyes of these ones always gave me a shiver.

"I think Bobert could be an okay name." Lee stated, ripping me from my train of thought.

"Really? You're keeping Bobert as the name? Why?" I asked with curiosity.

"Cause it sucks when someone changes your name." Lee said simply, and without an ounce of sadness. It still sent a tiny stab of ice into my heart. Lee continued unimpeded. "It just needs an impressive title to make up for the name is all."

"A title huh? Bobert: Slayer of the Wicked and Conjuror of Icecream?" I asked, barely suppressing a grin.

"You can't make food with magic." Lee said with indignance.

"But you can make things that make food from ingredients. Basically the same thing." I teased.

Lee rolled his eyes.

Damn. He was about to be a teenager, wasn't he?

There was a brief lull as it become Lee's turn to gaze into the water.

"Why do you think they are so angry?" I asked. Lee looked up at me with questioning eyes. "The reflections of the dragons. Why do you think they're angry?"

"They aren't angry." Lee lectured in the way that only children could. "They're waiting."

Oh because that was way less creepy. Thanks.

"Come on brat. Let's show Anabelle your shiny new wand."

"Woo! She's gonna think it's so cool!" Lee yelled and ran off ahead of me towards the floo. If only I could bottle that energy somehow.
-----

Packing was a greatly simplified process for most witches and wizard. We had self sorting boxes. We had trunks that where expanded to carry an entire room's worth of knickknacks. We also had spells to have heavy furniture walk itself into one of those aforementioned bags. What wasn't so easy to breakdown and transport was my laboratory. The various ingredients, notes, and volatile substances required great care in order to make sure they were moved without being destroying my other furniture; or worse, ruining my research.

"Sepi!" Annabelle called from the other room.

"What?" I called back as I carefully removed the vial of quetzal venom from it's location to carefully place it in a transport box. I did so with all the care of a bomb technician. Which was good because if the liquid was disturbed too much it would begin to melt both the cork and even the bottle itself. Then I'd die from the fumes burning tiny holes in my lungs.

"Come here!" Anabelle called out, sounding indignant.

"No, you come here!" I growled through clinched teeth.

I hear Annabelle stomping into the room behind me and then clear her throat loudly. I was positive her hand was on her hip.

"Listen, I'm trying to not die here. So can you wait for me to finish this before you get all pissy?"

There was a gasp behind her before Annabelle walked closer and slowly brought up the containment box to make the concoction's time out of containment shorter. After it was safely placed down I turned to demand what had Annabelle in such a prickly mood and stopped short as I caught sight of her.

Half her face was painted blue as a white painted eagle sored on her face, occasionally being covered with painted yellow energy.

"Oh shit. What time is it?" I asked, my annoyance forgotten, while Annabelle's rolled in like a storm cloud.

"Three, Sepi. We're supposed to leave in ten minutes and you ain't gonna have time to get all painted up."

I winced. Lee had his heart set on the Quafiliump game. It would be the last one we'd be able to go to for the next year. The sport existed over in Great Britain, but it was not a particularly popular one. It was, however, the biggest sporting event in most of Wizarding America, a few places Quadpot dominated the sports scene, but there was just something about the combative nature of Quafiliump that captivated the American people.

I wasn't a huge fan of most sports, but Lee loved Quafiliump and with his passion I gained a bit of an appreciation for the sport myself. An appreciation that I played up to match Lee's fanaticism.

Anabelle did not have to fake any enthusiasm for the sport.

"You're gonna let that little boy down! He wanted to have the dueling eagles!" Annabelle yelled.

I refrained from pointing out that she was the one that hyped him up for the body paint and even still his eagerness for it did not quite match hers.

"Okay. We'll go now. I'll do the paint on the way. It'll be such a long wait in line to get into the stadium that I'll manage the spellwork before we get in. Let me spray some Smell Gone on myself and run a brush through my hair." I said, trying to satisfy her.

"Fine. But if you aren't out in five minutes, I'm gonna come here and kick your fanny out that door myself." Annabelle turned and stomped out of the room.

I was HER boss damnit! I was just rushing to do what she said because...of Lee, yeah, that was it.

A few hurried moments of rushing eventually saw me matching Annabelle's outfit, sans the paint. It was a white crop-top and a pair of jean shorts. Lee wore a pair of jean pants and nothing else. Well other than the blue paint over his entire torso, where a white painted boar quaked in place. We piled into my Oldsmobile, Annabelle driving, Lee in the back, and me riding shotgun as I slathered the blue paint on my right side, the opposite of Annabelle who had done so on her left.

Lee was practically vibrating in the back seat.

"The Thunder Birds totally have this in the bag! They always choke when someone gets their backlines and Pascal is the best Diver in the league!"

It took forever for me to know what Lee meant whenever he said stuff like that.

"I'm sure we are in for quite a game." I respond. Which was true. For a all that the sport was a combination of capture the flag and football it also required a lot of advanced forethought and planning. Many wizards called it Team Dueling. While this match wasn't the championship the two teams were the finalists for the championship from LAST year. It would make for a good last game for us to go to before we left the country.

"Nah, it's gonna be a shut out! My Thunder Birds are gonna tan their hides like a red-headed stepchild!" Cheered the embodiment of southern twang.

I stop myself from staring at Anabelle and instead shook my head. I guessed that making light of ones past was a way to deal with stuff like that.

"You did get the tickets right?" I asked the redhead.

"Of course Sepi. I'm not the one that forgets things." She said before sticking her tongue out at me.

"Moving is hard." I grumble as I smear another handful of blue paint on.

Most of the ride was spent with the two super fans hyping each other up and me trying to stay somewhere close to their enthusiasm. It was getting easier to do that as I understood the sport more, but part of me rebelled at doing so when I had long complained about sports being stupid. Even when I was on a sports team before.

After twenty minutes of driving we came to our exit. A small turn-off on the highway that led down to a river, the turn off had no markers and anyone who passed would find the dirt road utterly unremarkable. Following the path down we saw a man that looked as though he walked straight out of a John Wayne film. He wore a ten gallon hat and everything. He placed one hand on his wand holster and waved us over.

"You have your tickets?" He asked in a bored voice.

"Sure thing Sheriff." Anabelle joked before producing three slips of paper.

The man looked at them, removed a wand from a holster on his side, and muttered a spell to verify their validity.

"Alright. You're good. Coast is clear, pull in whenever you're ready."

We thanked the man and promptly drove our car into the river.

Rather than flood with water, our car was covered by a bubble that suspended us in a pocket of air as we drifted further away from the surface. Then we kept going. And going. and going. To the point that the afternoon sun began to dim, putting us deeper than this river had any right to be.

"Oh look! Kelpie!" I stated suddenly. The horse neighed as I spoke, echoing through the water. It's equine form ran through the water as though it was solid ground, the light above playing off its white and blue fishscales that covered it's body, gleaming like a jewel. It tossed it's mane as it trotted past us. "I wonder if someone brought it or if it's wild?"

"I sure hope not." Anabelle said. "That won't be good for any non-magicals for something as dangerous as a kelpie to be around."

"We'll make sure to tell someone tomorrow." I promised, which satisfied my assistant. We went silent afterwards, but I did not that we weren't in much of a dive anymore; most of our motion was taking us forward rather than down.

"Wow. That is a long line." Lee commented sadly.

I refrained form pointing out that the line is always long and instead looked to where I was supposed to go. Not that we had any control at this point. The bubble was taking us where we needed to go.

Car, trucks, vans, canoes, and longboats all sat in bubbles that slowly gathered from countless directions into one long line leading to our destination. The unoriginally named Neo Colosseum Maxima looked to haves stepped straight from antient Rome. The solid marble was an exact replica of the Coliseum in Italy, but as it was just after being built. At least far as outward appearance was concerned. Plumbing, lights, and few other functional changes were made. The structure was also covered in a giant bubble dome, keeping the inside of it dry and available to host events.

"How much longer?" Lee asked peering over my shoulder.

"Oh hell no. You aren't starting that!" I demand. "You are not going to spend every two minutes asking how much longer or if we are there yet. It takes however long it takes, and no, I don't know how long that is."

There was silence in the car for a few moments.

"Okay, but if you had to estimate-" Lee started.

"God dammit Lee!" I yelled.

Annabelle hit my arm.

Ah. Family car rides.
-----

After a small eternity in the car and then a larger eternity standing in a line outside of the car, we finally got to our seats. Center field and just below the VIP box. I could have gotten us into the VIP box but the people in said box were not likely to appreciate our state of dress.

I didn't want to be around most of the occupants of the box seats most of the time anyways. What kind of person came to a sports game and tried to separate themselves from the "rabble"?

I gazed out to the field in curiosity. Quafiliump was a sport that took place on what was basically an obstacle course, with walls, dips, nets, pathways, and pillars. The layout was always different too. The players nor the fans knew what they'd be walking into when the game starts. There was even many people that became prized Quafiliump arena stagers, because of the quality job they do making a fair and interesting match for both sides.

I used to set up the Quafiliump course back in Ambrose Academy and was told I was pretty good at it. Nothing on a professional, but enough to give me an eye for the art to have insight into the layout I was looking at.

"Flanking behind will be hard on the Thunderbirds this match, but the Boars don't have any good forward positions for their aggressive charges. The architect decided to ruin the greatest strength of both teams." I said. That made for an interesting game, it'll make both teams see how good they are at improvising.

"What!? Boo! Let the Thunderbirds soar!" Lee yelled.

"Yeah! Boo!" Annabelle agreed.

I suppressed a sigh and took my seat. Time to get swept up in the crowd and-

"Hello Miss Wicket. Fancy meeting you here." A cultured voice stated beside me.

Fuck. I knew that voice.

"Headmaster Magecraft." I greeted as calmly as I could before turning to see the man. He was tall, like really tall. I didn't know his exact height, but it was probably closer to seven foot tall than it was to six. He was pale, but not unnaturally so. He had an thick and immaculately kept mustache that curled into a spiral that drew attention to his button nose. His hair was a dignified salt and pepper that he kept about two inches in length. He had an open and honest face.

The most dangerous kind of face.

With him was Gordon, who managed to look surprisingly calm considering he had just ratted the Headmaster out to me a few weeks ago. If the Midas Order found that out I'm positive that I wouldn't see the man again. He had a mean poker face though. So there he stood beside the Headmaster, the two of them dressed like they were going to a high class Gala and not asking to sit right next to a guy wearing a beer hat.

"On your way to your box seats?" I asked, though in a tone that told them the answer that could be no, so long as it took them the hell away from me.

"Oh no, our tickets have us staying here today." Gordon said in a tone that was just polite enough that someone couldn't call him out on being snooty.

I barely restrained from calling bullshit. Magecraft was a known Quafiliump enthusiast. There was no way he didn't have a box seat.

"Right here? Next to me." I said dryly. "What are the odds?"

"Yes! Wonderful happenstance." He stated, ignoring my tone.

"Well, I am going to be doing quite a bit of yelling and having food with LOTS of sauerkraut. Not to mention drinking copious amounts of terrible beer. All of which I am quite certain that you would rather be a part of. So out of consideration of your position, I'm happy to pay your way into the box seats."

Well, Gordon would actually love all that shit, but he would never allow it to look that way in front of his fancy friends.

"That is quite alright Miss Wicket. I think I'd like to sit here for now. After all, I can't convince you to join my staff all the way in the box seats."

Ah. That was his game. He was trying to pull me into his web. I'd never much liked Magecraft even before I found out he was part of the Midas Order. The man had been the dueling instructor at Ambrose Academy before he became the Headmaster. As a dueling instructor he was...fine; he never put much effort into someone's training unless they showed promise, then he'd lavish them with attention.

"For what reason have I suddenly caught your attention, Edward?" I asked, calling the man by his first name. Such a thing didn't likely happen to him often. He was very insistent on politeness from those around him.

"Well I had long expected we would be receiving Lee at the school when his time came, and I've heard that your merry little band was running off to Hogwarts for the fall term!" The man tried to say with grandfatherly concern.

He did a damn good job of it too.

"Where did you hear that?" I asked harshly, but then scolded myself. Judging by the slight twitch of Edward's mouth, I probably just confirmed a suspicion by acting so indignant. The only people besides Dumbledore and Abernathy that even knew I was leaving the country were Wavestrum and Gordon; even then both of them didn't know where it was I planned to go. Gordon probably tipped them off in order to help cover his tracks as the leak. They might have gotten information about my plane ticket or just knew Dumbledore had visited me recently. Then I just confirmed their suspicions.

"Oh, just talk floating around. Rumors. That sort of thing. When one of our most distinguished alumni chooses to not send their child to us word really spreads. I figured you left because of a job offer, so I thought I might do the same to get you to stay." Magecraft stated, still in his standing position.

He probably didn't want to dirty his clothes with whatever was in the seats.

Which...that was fair.

"I would love to not have to move my whole lab but-"

"We'll match whatever offer Hogwarts is giving. Plus bankroll all your research during the next year." The Headmaster interrupted.

I raised an eyebrow. That would ordinarily be a deal I'd jump on. I had lots of research ideas that required ludicrous amounts of money with little chance of success. Were I on the schools dime I would feel absolutely no shame in burning through their resources.

But I had Lee to think of.

"I've already signed a contract with Hogwarts. I'm afraid that my position cannot be changed."

"Well what if we-"

"Perhaps I was unclear, Eddie." The man recoiled as if struck. Likely no one had called him Eddie in his life. It's the only thing I'd call him going forward.

I relished the moment.

I hadn't done well at dueling during my time at Ambrose, despite my best attempts. When I asked for help he always gave some sort of excuse on why he had better things to do. I had long fantasized about being able to throw his words back at him, and the opportunity finally arrived.

I was not too good of a person to let the opportunity pass.

"I believe I will give you the same advice you once gave me." I showed shark teeth. "It would be better for you to spend your energy on things you can actually hope to accomplish."

A dark look flashed over good old Eddie's face. Oh ho. He did NOT like that. How satisfying.

"Come on sir." Gordon suddenly spoke up, placing a hand on his superior's shoulder. "No sense talking to someone who has more bullheaded stubbornness than good sense."

The affable grandfather came back and the giant of man heaved a sigh.

"Yes, I suppose some people don't care for the greatness Ambrose can offer." The man shook his head. "You do this now, Miss Wicket, but don't worry. I'll be sure to remember you later as well."

Wow. That threat was covered so poorly it could get a job on a striper pole.

"As I too will remember all that you taught me at Ambrose."

A gong sounded and lights flared around the stadium. With the betting of drums the Boars entered their side of the field, arms thudding against the padding on their chest and feet stomping in time with the drums.

I turned away from the two men.

"Lets go Thunderbirds!" I yelled and stood to my feet.

I had a day to enjoy with my family.
---

Chapter Text

In my life, both my lives, I had always struggled with caring about sport teams. I always figured it took a level of investment and identification with the players and team that I just didn't have in me. Fanatics about it always felt kind of cultish to me. Never mind my standing outside of a theater for hours to see Star Wars while dressed like a Twi'lek.

I have, however, come to have an appreciation for the sport of quafiliump itself. Each team had a "base" that was their starting point and where the enemy team scored. There were four rounds and each round the teams had three balls, colored their team colors, that they could score by getting the ball to the enemy team's base. So far, a fairly typical sport even by mundane standards. What made it a sport I had an appreciation of, though, were all the other rules.

The sport was played on foot with wand in hand in a playing field that had more in common with a obstacle course than a football field. The players had their wands and they were allowed to cast some spells. However the spells were from a list that the league allowed to be used, and each team was only allowed eight spells, which had to be declared with the referee before the match. They could cast those spells as many times as they liked, but were limited to those eight spells in the match.

That's where the game really shined. Teams tried to outthink what spells their opponents would use, try to use spells that would spoil their enemies, or even more masterfully, turn their strengths into weaknesses. It had skill, planning, and it was entertaining to watch. In comparison I'd fall asleep watching Quiddich.

So while I still hated conversations about which team was better than the other, I could talk for hours on quafiliump tactics.

"Woo! Take that ya bind pigs! Ha!" Lee yelled as the Thunderbirds scored, ignoring the fact that the Boa Boars were still in the lead due to the very fact that they kept seeing through the Thunderbird forward's Notice-Me-Not charm.

"Yeah! They're tired! Push hard Thunderbirds!" Anabelle called.

"Change up tactics!" I yelled, doing my best to be part of their excitement, when I actually wanted to just sit and tear apart their strategies. It was the last round and it was anyone's game. The Thunderbirds had an early start, but the Boa Boars had gained speed through the second and third round. The score sat at 9 to 10 in the Boar's favor. The Thunderbirds would need to score with both their remaining balls to have a shot at victory.

I took a moment to look around the crowd as they went wild. Both sides were losing their minds at the intensity, from the large men with a horns that sounded exactly like a Thunderbird's cry when blown to the women on the front row in very little clothing and doing far more hopping than should come from just excitement this late in the game, to the guy selling firesnap peas and postpopedcorn that was staring at the game rather than doing his job. To the guys-

My blood ran cold as I caught sight of Quintus. The Midas Order's left hand man was lacking his usual fine tendermere suit and instead wearing a Thunderbird jersey. Probably one bought from the giftshop considering it still had the damn tags on it. He was attempting to blend into the crowd, though this seemed to be difficult for the hardened killer. He too apparently had trouble mustering the enthusiasm of his fellow standmates.

His gaunt features and seven foot height didn't do him any favors either. Knowing he was here allowed me to spot more of his cohorts in the crowd as well. My bad feeling deepened as I caught sight of Chalcedony, Quintus' usual partner in crime. The man's squat and muscled frame often reminded me a dwarf from Tolkien's works, complete with elaborate beard. He was a shrewd man that pounced on weakness almost by reflex. The two were a dangerous combination together. The five other people I managed to spot in a half circle around us were just the icing on the cake.

I barely noticed as the crowd began screaming again as the Thunderbirds scored another goal.

"You okay Aunt Sepi?" Lee asked, having noticed my sudden stillness.

I debated telling him I was fine and not to worry, but I hated lying to the kid. The last time I had, three years ago, he'd made me promise to never do so again. I tried to keep my promises.

I shot him a pained look and Annabelle caught on something was wrong as well.

"Sepi? What is it?" She asked.

"Quintus. Chalcedony." I said while giving a subtle nod to their places in the crowd.

Annabelle's eyes hardened and her hand drifted to the bag on her side. The fanny pack had been magically expanded to be able to hold her staff as well as a few other emergency items.

"We need to go. We can't-" I started.

"No." Annabelle put in, "They won't attack us in the crowd. If we get spooked and run there are probably more waiting for us in the halls. Probably at our car too. If we do anything too big right here they'll probably just have security descend on us. Our best shot is to lose them in the crowd when the game ends."

I hesitated before giving a nod. Annabelle was probably right. If we could get through the crowd and I could find a little hole to hide in for ten minutes we wouldn't have an issue, but if we leave now or I pull out my wand and started putting up charms we'd just have security hand our asses right to them on a silver platter.

"So the fun stuff is over, huh?" Lee asked. I looked down to see the boy slowly drawing his new wand out of his pocket.

I lightly slap the back of his head. "Oh put that away. You don't even know what you'd be doing with that thing." I chided.

He reluctantly complied.

"When everyone begins to file out, we could use a distraction." Annabelle said as here eyes darted to and fro. I glanced over at her paint covered form and sighed as a plan came to me.

"Yeah, I got one." I said with a shake of my head. "But we'll need to go to that exit." I pointed to an exit that had a group of enthusiastic Boa Boar fans that were very drunk on Rocker Rum.

"Alright. We'll head that way when the match is up and-"

The crowd went wild as the Thunderbirds scored again just as as they managed to destroy the Boa Boar's last active ball. The game was over.

We were out of of time.

The next few minutes passed by in a blur as I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I'd faced down plenty of bad situations in life before, many worse than this one. It still didn't make it any easier to handle. I was bad at fighting. I hated it. Which was why my greatest skill was making fighting me such a pain in the ass that the other person just walked away. Getting them to the point of walking away was always a bitch though.

The Thunderbirds won and the Boa Boars were left sore and angry and I was about to use that to my advantage. As the crowd closed in around us and we neared the drunken Boar fans I took out my wand and muttered a spell. In moments the body paint on the three of us changed to the red of the Boars.

Lee frowned as he looked down at his apparent betrayal of his team.

I slipped between one of the Boars fans and one of the Thunderbirds and raised my voice. "You fucking pigeons cheated, just like you fucking always do!"

"Excuse me? We cheat?" The Thunderbird fan said, affronted. "Who is that always tries to sneak in extra spells when they think the ref can't see? You stiff necked little-"

I punched him in the nose.

The crowd, rightfully, began to close in to stop me. The drunk Boar fans just registered a bunch of people rushing at a couple of girls and a kid in their team's colors. The riot started seconds later.

Annabelle drew her staff and I muttered a quick cleaning spell to get the paint off all of us as we huddled together and tried to sneak through the rain of thrown fits, shouted spells, and weaponized food.

"I should have known better than to let you do that dang distraction!" Annabelle shouted, her southern accent pouring out stronger than usual as someone's Smell Tar spell splashed against her back.

"Less talk more walk!" I ordered as I glanced behind me to see Quintus and Chalcedony start demolishing their way through the people between us, stunning spells firing off in pairs every second as they got closer at the rate of a horror movie villain.

"It's this easy to start a riot?" Lee yelled in wonder, not near as afraid as a child being hunted down in the middle of violent crowd should be.

"Yes."/"Only when Sepi's around." Annabelle and I said at the same time. I didn't waste my energy glaring at her.

Annabelle pushed forward through the front as I walked backward from the rear, keeping an eye on the chaos behind us. Lee was crammed between us and occasionally had his hand smacked as he tried to draw his wand.

I'd managed to block two Iron Foot hexes and blocked some suspicious Big Mouth Taffy from beaning me in the head when I noticed us speeding up. The crowd was thinning, meaning we'd be moving faster.

It also meant we were going to be getting less meat shields between the Midas Order and us.

"Sepi! I've got incoming!" Annabelle shouted from behind me. I cursed but didn't turn around. I trusted her and I would be stupid to take my eyes off Quintus and Chalcedony.

I looked left and right, trying to see something in my periphery that could help us, we were starting to come up short on options.

"Broom closet! Your right!" I called as I had to begin slapping down stunning spells from Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. I wasn't the greatest duelist, but I could backpeddle while blocking with the best of them.

I heard Annabelle begin casting spells behind me, meaning she was going to be busy, and her staff used two hands. I groped for the door handle and cursed when I couldn't twist the handle.

"Locked!" I yelled.

"Then unlock it!" Annabelle yelled back, the sound of her staff cutting through the air in intricate patterns behind me audible even over the chaos around us.

"I'm a bit fucking busy!" I yelled back as I frantically foiled spell after spell. "Why don't you-"

"Alohomora!" Lee's voice proclaimed followed by the door clicking open.

Little shit had been practicing with a wand without permission. Annabelle wouldn't teach him that and I damn sure didn't give him something that would let him access my Special Time drawer that he was annoyingly curious about.

"Annabelle, cover me in three! Lee, we will be having words!" I yelled.

I got a laughing "You got it Sepi!" and a sullen "Yes ma'am."

"One! Two!" I dove into the closet just as Annabelle did a half turn to place herself in the mouth of the door.

"Nebulamora!" Annabelle yelled as a thick mist began to pour from the geode on top her staff, slowly filling the hallway with fog even as she continued to cost shield spells to block the incoming attacks.

I cast a quick spell to keep the fog out before reaching into my pocket and pulling out my keys. I ripped the heart shaped keychain off the ring and released the shrinking charm on it. Then I placed it on the ground and pulled a piece of chalk out of my pocket.

Never left home without it.

The heart, when at it's natural size, was about half a foot tall and made of an epoxy material. At it's full size, the network of runes inside the heart were more visible. Dozens and dozens of runes sat inside different layers for various spells and effects, waiting just that last bit of work to make their potential come to life.

"Fight or flight?" I called as my hands drew complex rune arrays in chalk on the door frame. In seconds I complete work that would take most other people hours and with a popping sound a veil of dull orange energy filled the doorway. It wouldn't stop anything physical, but someone would hard pressed to get a spell through it now.

"Dealers choice!" Annabelle called as she twisted, whirled, and danced between spells, staff smacking into oncoming spells and popping them like soap bubbles. Wordlessly casting grounding and shielding spells and even getting off a few attack spells through the gaps. "I can keep this up for a bit longer!"

There was a reason she'd won every dueling competition she'd ever been in.

"Flight!" I called back and reached into my pocket and pulled out one of the other things I rarely left home without. An attunement reader. A lame name, but I wasn't great with names. It read the magical energies of a place and gave what was essentially it's magical GPS coordinates. That was oversimplified, as in the case of moving buildings and the like the location followed the building, however should the building turn from, say, a school into an office building the signature might change. How the place was thought of, it's history, and the sorts of spells cast there were all things that effected a locations attunement. It used to take days of research to get a place's attunement.

I made a handheld device that could do it in seconds. You just had to not mind carrying a dousing rod with dials on it in your pants.

"Lee! Take this, read me the numbers from right to left!" I ordered as I began making an...well equation was the best example, if math used musical notes and moon phases in addition to numbers.

Ordinarily, Annabelle and I would have just grabbed Lee and apperated away but the Coliseum Maxima had one of the best anti-teleportation wards placed on it to stop anyone from sneaking in without a ticket. It was near impossible to teleport out or into the place. I would know, I placed the runes myself.

It was thankfully only nearly impossible.

"501, 69, 4, 19, 1, 6." Lee read off the numbers. I scratched them down and began to do an equation on the floor.

"Turn the red dial twice, press the button, then tell me the numbers again." I ordered as I began doing what I could with the information I had, pausing only a moment to start give a few taps to the heart with my wand.

I fell into something resembling a trance, as I ignored everything but the numbers lee was giving me and my calculation.

A port key was useful, but it could only be used to get someone from one preset location to another preset location. If you moved the portkey to another location, it wouldn't work. After all, the location attunement changed.

Which was why I always kept a half completed port key on me.

Lee finished reading the numbers off to me, and in a few more seconds I had the answer. I few muttered spells and some cutting spells to carve runes into the epoxy and I was finished.

"Done!" I yelled. "Activating in five!"

"Mons Impetu!" Annabelle yelled as a wave of pure power flashed through the hall, scattering her fog away from her but also throwing everyone else off their feet, the spell even cracked my barrier on the door.

I picked up the heart and turned towards the door, holding it out. "Lee, grab hold of it and don't let go."

Lee's hand pressed against the heart as Annabelle stumbled into the room, with frizzy hair and several bloody scratches, but looked to be whole and healthy. She practically tripped into placing a hand on the heart.

Then the timer ticked over and we were abruptly pulled away with the familiar rush of port key travel.

In moments the three of us were deposited on top of the king sized bed in my room. We all collapsed into a heap. We just sat there for a moment in utter silence. Relishing in the simple fact the three of us had managed to once again get away.

I took a deep inhale that turned into wracking coughs.

"Annabelle! You're getting Smell Tar all over my bed!" I yelled.

Fury crossed the red-head's face as she growled out, "Well. God. Bless. Your. Heart."

I wisely backed down. I knew what that meant in Southern.

"Fine. I guess we can leave a little earlier than we planned." I stated instead.

"No shit." Lee groused, before letting out a cry of pain as Annabelle smacked his arm. "Heeey!"

"No cursing." Annabelle stated. Then she smacked my arm.

"What was that for!?"

"You taught it to him."

I was her boss, right? That's not my imagination? If this was the amount of respect I get, I might have some problems with my students at Hogwarts.
------

Chapter Text

"Do we need to pack the Thestral Hairs?" Annabelle called out as I frantically dumped armfuls of books into an expanded trunk.

"No. Hogwarts has those there. We can get them fresh." I yelled out before just tipping the bookshelf over so everything fell into the trunk. Organization could come when we didn't have a hit squad making its way towards us.

A few books didn't make it in, but I found myself not particularly caring. I could always buy other ones while gone. We were on a time limit. If they surrounded the house it would become a waiting game. They wouldn't be able to get in my house. It would take a dozen High Wizards to be able to even attempt assaulting my place while its defenses were up.

Hitting us in transit would be their better option. We had to move soon.

"Should I pack my Super Nintendo?" Lee asked.

"No, Hogwarts doesn't have TV's." I responded.

"Should I pack-" Annabelle started but I cut her off.

"We don't have time for this! Just throw what's safe to grab inside all at once and then we gotta head out!"

The sound of a bunch of glass bottles clanging together suddenly echoed through the house. I mentally ran my mind through the list. Clothes were good. Books done. Potion ingredients stored. We were set.

"I'm gonna send a message to Chiron. Get the luggage to the door." I called out as I pulled out my wand.

We didn't have the Knight Bus over in America but the California area did have Chiron. I opened my front door, held up my wand, and uttered a spell.

The sound of rapid comping of hooves echoed down the street a few moments later, then Chiron and his chariot rounded the corner.

I shake my head at the sight of the centaur. The chariot was a pristine example of a classic Roman chariot, if it had been decorated by a 12 year old that loved Hot Wheels. The entire thing was a bright red with blue and green flames painted along the wheels. The centaur himself wore a denim jacket and a Nirvana t-shirt on his torso. He reached up, removed the Walkman from his ears, flipped his Fabio like hair over his shoulder and looked at me through his aviator sunglasses.

"Where we heading?" His voice came, sounding every inch like one of the beach bums.

"We need to get to LAX as fast as you can get us there. Fair warning, we are being pursued." I said, reaching into a pocket and rummaging around for payment.

"A run and gun?" The centaur said, removing his sun glasses to stare at me, eyes sparkling with glee. "Righteous! It costs extra though."

I find what I'm looking for and remove a handful of coins just as Annabelle and Lee come outside with the luggage. I hand the coins over to the centaur who gave them a quick count.

"Right on. So if you hop on we'll-"

"And these for a bonus if you get us there without any problems." I said as I pulled out a golden apple.

The golden apples were not so big and important as muggle legend made them out to be. They were rare, but not especially powerful. They made for a good potion ingredient but otherwise didn't see much use. Centaurs almost universally loved them though.

"Right on! Load up and you'll be safer than a surfer in the tube." Chiron stated as he started to excitedly dance on his hooves.

I turned and gave a nod to Annabelle who started to load the luggage onto the chariot.

"Thanks Chiron." I said as we loaded up. We took our places and I muttered a sticking charm to keep the luggage and ourselves in place. "Hold on tight Lee."

The little monster was practically vibrating in excitement. "You're gonna go super fast right?"

"Sure thing little man!" Chiron said, slipping his Walkman headphones back on his head.

My face soured. I missed my car already.

"And here we go!" He yelled, starting his dash down the street. In moments our surroundings began to blur at the sides, going far faster than any residential street should allow. I tightened my grip as Lee's mad cackling began to send Annabelle into giggles too.

I tightened my grip and muttered under my breath, "This is why I have a fucking car."

The pit in my stomach was yanked to the side as the chariot took a ninety degree turn.

"Whoo!" Lee yelled. "Go faster!"

I wanted to tell him to slow down, but I had just paid him do this as fast as possible.

"You got it Goose." Chiron yelled backwards before stepping it up even further.

"Oh come on Sepi! We aren't gonna fall off, have some fun!" Annabelle yelled.

"I own a station wagon!" I yelled back, confident the statement said everything I wanted it to.

The sides of us I couldn't make anything out, though the sights before us were pretty clear, if rapidly growing larger before zipping past.

At one point I was certain I'd caught a glimpse of one of the Midas Order's goons on the street, but they were gone just as quickly. It was probably a trick of my mind.

I still started placing protections on our luggage and clothes. It was temporary stuff that would be gone in a few hours, but it helped me ignore Lee and Annabelle acting like this was some kind of roller coaster.

Then we slowed down and came to a stop in front of LAX. The major airport being one of the places that the muggles that knew of wizards had us place anti-apparition wards on. A wise choice, if one that meant I had to be subjected to Chiron's tender mercies.

"That was awesome!" Lee yelled and motioned wildly while I undid the sticking charm on our feet and the luggage.

"You can be my wingman anytime little man." Chiron said. "I need someone to fake being the driver of my horse sometimes because making them see my torso back there for illusions is hard sometimes. It'd be real handy if you wanted to show up sometimes for a free ride and to stop the muggles from asking for a permit or something."

"Lee is twelve. They would be more suspicious." I said with an eye roll.

"If my jedi mind tricks can make them think I'm the driver then I can get the little man some facial hair or something. We'd be good." Chiron said dismissively.

"We'll see." Annabelle piped in. Which was as good as a no, but harder to argue against.

"Come on. Grab your stuff. It's time to grab a flight." I said as we gathered our luggage, while nearby muggles found themselves wondering who took a horse and carriage to the airport.

"Chiron. Your apple." I said, tossing the golden fruit towards the centaur. Chiro caught it and immediately took a large bite of the thing.

"Righteous! You can call me any time!"

Annabelle looked at me in angst. "You gave him one of our golden apples!? We only had three of those Sepi!" She stated in irritation.

"Well we needed to get here safe. We'll get more of them later." I said as I hefted my luggage.

"We?" Annabelle asked, "You run up and pick it while I have to fight off all the magic creatures that are attracted to the tree. I do all the heavy lifting!"

"Then I'll fight them and you can pick the apples." I said with a roll of my eyes.

Annabelle descended into angry mutterings as we approached the airport entrance. The hustle and bustle of LAX was comforting. This many people around, almost all of them muggles, we would be safe from any reprisal.

A little line waiting later and we found ourselves at the ticket counter.

"Hey, Septima Wickett." I said as I passed forward my passport. "I have a ticket to take me to London coming up next week but I've had a bit of an emergency and need to take the flight right now if possible."

The woman on the other side of the counter gave me a customer service smile that matched her dull uniform.

"I'm sorry to hear that! Well I'm gonna see what we can do for you." The woman said before typing on the computer. Several moments of efficient typing later she looked up again. "We can see about getting you some connecting flights. In the next hour we have a flight that's going to Dallas, there will be a one day layover, then it'll take you to Nashville, from there it can get you to London. All around it will take you three days." The woman said simply.

My eye twitched. Those were some long layovers with a lot of time spent sitting in airports and waiting around. If I was going to Texas I'd be expected to make an appearance to family too. On the other hand, I have been wanting Abernathy to meet Lee...

"Sounds good, but can you find a flight from Nashville that's a few days later? I just two days or so."

"Certainly." The woman behind the counter stated before clacking a few keys. "Okay, I can have you set for 7 A.M. three days after you land. Does that sound good to you?"

"Yeah. Fine." I nod. "We'll need it for the two as well." I said pacing Lee and Annabelle's passports and tickets on the counter.

Annabelle and Lee had abandoned me for the overpriced allure of the gift shop. The traitors.

The woman changed the tickets over quickly. Probably too quickly.

Ah, to live before 9/11.

I take the tickets and make my way over to Annabelle. The red-head looks up as I approach.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

I raise an eyebrow. "Nothings wrong. Flights booked, we leave in an hour."

"Mhm. Then why did your face look madder than Wampus Cat in in a rainstorm?" Annabelle said disbelieving.

I let out a growl under my breath. "We have a day long layover in Texas."

"Oh." Annabelle said before nodding. "You better give your Pa a call then."

I hang my head down and sigh before fishing in my pocket for some quarters. "Yeah, yeah."

I passed the ticket to Annabelle and waited in another line to get to a phone. I put my quarters in, dialed the memorized number, and waited a few seconds until-

"RW Telecommunications, how can I help you?" A young and professional voice asked.

"Hey Brittney, it's Septima. Is my dad in?"

"Oh my God, Septima! It's been, like, way too long!" Brittney said, losing her veneer of professionalism. A woman that sounded like that much of a Valley Girl shouldn't also be the most competent secretary my father had found in decades.

"Yeah, it has been a while. Though I am in a bit of a hurry. Can you get Dad for me?"

"Oh, totally. Give me a sec." She said, then the line went to generic hold music. Hopefully the woman wouldn't take long. At times like this I grew confident that I stayed mostly in wizard society just to avoid hold music and elevator music.

"Okay, here he is! Give a girl a call back sometime!" Brittany said before a clicking sound, then my father's baritone came over the line.

"Hey Septima." Dad said, trying to sound warm. "I'm a bit busy currently. Could this be done over a Sunday dinner or-"

"No. I had some trouble. I'm getting out of town."

The line went quiet.

"Like I need to help you make a hole in the desert kind of trouble, or you woke up in the wrong person's bed trouble?"

"Somewhere in between." I said, leaning against the booth. "Midas Order tried to jump us at the Quafilliump game. I'm sure it will be completely ignored in the paper. We got away but I'm taking the flight to London early, but I have a layover in Dallas that's supposed to be for a full day."

"Anyone hurt? I can see about hiring someone who-"

"Dad. I love you, but anyone that would work for money to protect us is probably already in the Midas Order. We're leaving the area. They aren't going to follow. Though you might want to spend some extra time with Uncle Augustus."

"Yeah that- Wait, you're headed to Dallas? I'll tell Augustus to meet you there. He's been giving me a hard time about you not coming around."

Not wanting to spend time with my Dad's family? Why on Earth would I not want to hang around such delightful people?

I was glad the phone couldn't show my eyeroll.

"That's why I called. I figured you'd give him a heads up."

"Sure. I'll place the call. Stay safe. Maybe cast a few wards on the plane while you're in flight too. Just make sure there's nothing nasty on the plane."

"Oh, yeah, good idea. Thanks." I said. My Dad did have an ability to think ahead. Though I supposed that was needed in the CEO of a billion dollar company. "I gotta go. I'll see you Christmas time at the latest."

"Yeah, sure. Stay safe Septima."

"You too Dad. Try to stick at home or the office unless you get Uncle Augustus to go with you."

"I will make sure to-" His voice trailed off. "My secretary is lingering at my door. She never lingers at my door."

"Oh. She was mentioning wanting to talk to me again." I said dismissively. "Something about wanting to hang out more."

"Hang out? She never wants to-" Dad's voice grew more tense. "Septima. Have you been fucking my secretary?"

"Uh," I said, drawing the sound out, "You know what, I'm out of quarters. I gotta go."

"Seriously? Septima, come on, I gotta work with-" I hung up the phone.

I turn and leave the phone, making my way back to my assistant and my ward.

"Well, Agustus is going to meet us in Texas." I said with a sigh. "Which means we'll be spending some time with all of the Wickett clan."

"They're not so bad." Annabelle said.

"Yeah. They have an awesome Quafiliump course in the backyard! I can actually play a little this time too!" Lee said proudly.

I wanted to point out that he didn't know any spells, but then remembered his alohomora at the stadium. The kid might actually know dozens of spells that he neglected to mention. The little shit.

"We'll see." I said Though I knew that was where it was going. The family was nice enough, really. That wasn't what I was dreading though.

xxxxxx

"It's the same thing as firing a gun!" Uncle Agustus yelled, his sun weathered face a more vibrant shade of red than usual. I was pretty sure he was glaring as well. It was hard to tell though, his face was locked in a perpetual squint.

"The hell it is!" I said throwing my arms up in the air. "It requires intent and desire! Most people won't be able to use it in self-defense!"

The fight didn't take long to erupt. We landed, saw my uncle at the unloading area. He took us outside where he had a portkey waiting. We barely got through the front door and greeted my cousins and aunt before shit got started. Uncle Agustus knew this was a sticking point for me, but he never failed to bring it up in conversation.

"The times it can be used for protection are worth it! If a wizard wants to protect his home he should-"

"He should use a gun! This is TEXAS!" I said, flopping down on the brahemith couch. The monstrously sized bull being one of Agustu's hunting trophies that had been hollowed and taxidermized to be turned into a couch, complete with head and horns coming out of one side of the couch. Sometimes I could swear I heard it moo.

"You know that there are spells that will stop a bullet dead. The safest and best way to protect yourself is to use the killing curse to stop them then and there!" Uncle Agustus said, tilting his ten-gallon hat back. "Julius. Back me up here!"

Julius, my Uncle's oldest son, was sitting on the opposite end of the room grinning like a Cheshire cat and eating handfuls of caramel covered Wishpoosh Puffs, scattering their crumbs on his flannel shirt.

"You know I agree with you, but ain't nothing on this planet gonna change THE Septima Wicketts mind. You'd have a better time yellin for the cloud to rain outside, Pa. Though maybe you should point out how the killing curse is a deterrent to people." Julius said, eyes sparkling with mirth.

"Exactly! Whose gonna break into a wizard's house when he knows he can just be Avada Kadavarad to the pearly gates on an express trip."

I gave a side eye glare at my cousin. Julius' shoulders shook in laughter at the look. I was never sure where the man sat politically, but he seemed to just live to incite arguments. He would get two people going then he would just sit back and watch the flames. Part of me wanted to walk away just to deprive him of his amusement. But...

"It darkens your magic! It leaves soul scarring on the caster! There are better spells to use! Legalizing it will just make people use it and claim self-defense!" I said, looking for my own backup and finding no one. Annabelle and taken Lee and Julius' spawn into the back yard to play right about the time my uncle was making the first comment about Killing Curse Legalization.

"Better to have that than-"

"Alright, dinner time, shut your pie-holes and come get some grub."

Deborah Wickett was a woman whose body shape showed a passion for food. She was polite but curt and mended all wrongs with a spread of gravy.

"The only thing that shuts my pie-hole is pie." Julius announced from his chair.

"Well we got that. So move your keister in here and help your wife with making plates for the brood."

"Yes ma'am." Julius said, popping up to his feet and heading to the kitchen.

I gave an angry huff and started to follow.

"Septima. Wait." Uncle Agustus said, stopping me.

I resisted groaning. I did not want to have this conversation while there was food made by Aunt Deborah in the next room ready to be eaten.

"Look, dinner is ready, so can we continue this-"

"Nah, not that." He said with a shake of his head. "I spoke with your dad. He said you were in some kind of trouble but didn't give details. I wanted to see if I could help. You're not heading into anything dangerous are you?"

My irritation drained from me and I suddenly felt so very tired.

"I'm good. I'm heading away from the danger. Got a teaching job at a boarding school in London for the next year."

My uncle gave a nod of his head. "Don't stick your neck out too far if you can avoid it. We don't want Lee to- I mean...after Tiberius the family can't-" Agustus said haltingly.

I stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing like that. Tiberius was a far more brave man than I. The Midas Order is nothing like that the Blood Foot or the Wendigos. If I make it unprofitable, they won't expend the energy." I said in comfort.

My words did little to relax the man.

"I don't think you understand greed right Septima. The people that would buy a mithril toilet won't turn away from getting rid of an annoying enough thorn." He said with a shake of his head. "You have to be able to threaten them with a whole lot more than a loss of profit."

My gut churned. His words felt uncomfortably like truth.

"It'll be fine. I'm going to a school that has one of the most powerful wizards on the planet acting as my benefactor. It makes more sense to wait."

"I hope you're right." He said, voice pained. "Because if you're wrong while workin' at a school, it's them kids that are gonna pay."

A iced knife of anxiety stabbed into my gut, but my uncle twisted it just a bit more.

"And if these guys do show up at the school, you damn sure better use the killing curse."

With that, my uncle turned and left to go the kitchen, leaving me with ash in my mouth and bereft of apatite.

xxxxxx

Chapter Text

"Lee! We have to go!" I yelled to no effect. My ward had finally gotten a chance to use his new wand and play Quafilliump for himself and he seemed hooked. My only saving grace so far had been that my nieces and nephews were willing to stop for meals and bedtime and Lee couldn't just play by himself. The runt knew exactly one spell of any use in the game but damn if he didn't use it well.

I hated to pull the kid away, but our flight wasn't soon but the longer I stuck around the more likely it was that I'd get pulled into an argument. Plus this was a southern family and we'd say good-bye inside then talk for another twenty minutes, then we'd grab our stuff and stand in front of the door talking for another fifteen minutes, then we'd move out to standing in front of the port-key for another fifteen minutes. That didn't count the six hugs, thirty well wishes, and two slobbery kisses on the cheek.

That was just the way it worked.

"Lee! We gotta get going!" I called out.

"Sepi! Ten more minutes!" A voice whined that was not Lee, but Annabelle.

"Are you even packed!?" I yelled back.

"We're two points up!" My assistant yelled back in lieu of answering my question.

I am her boss, right?

"Aw, you ain't gotta be worried about rushing off yet." Uncle Augustus said with a dismissive wave of his hand it went to pat at his breast pockets in search of a cigar. "Besides, Debi's unicookies are about to pop out of the oven."

"I know I just want to make sure that- wait, Aunt Debi is making unicookies?" I asked aloud.

"Course she is. You think my wife is going to let you leave this house without some sweets for that boy and your girlfriend?"

"Not my girlfriend." I corrected absently before sniffing at the air to catch a wiff of the cookies. It was faint, but I could catch the slightest hint of chocolate chip cookies that, moments later, switched to that of a snickerdoodle. I hoped this batch would occasionally shift into Oreos too; unicookies changed what type of cookie they were every few seconds, even while you were eating them but Oreo rarely came up. I once went down the rabbit hole of trying to figure out why they never changed into Oreos and the best I could guess is that Nabisco has somehow magically enforced copywrite onto all omnicookies baked.

But that'd be silly.

"She's not your girlfriend?" Uncle Augustus said disbelievingly as he placed his cigar in his mouth and began fishing for his lighter.

"No. Just like the last dozen times you've asked." I said with an eyeroll.

"Nah. You just live together, raise a child together, and do everything short of shit together." He said wryly as he lit up his cigar before taking a deep drag. He let out a deep breath of smoke that made question marks in the air as he asked, "Then what exactly would you call it?"

"Platonic life partners." I answered promptly. It wasn't like Anabelle and I hadn't talked about this before. "We're more than friends, but the relationship isn't ever really going to be romantic."

"Shame. I'd be proud if we got her in the Wickett family, girl is a peach."

I shot my uncle a wry smile. The man made hating him difficult sometimes. He was a good judge of character and could be quite the charmer when he wanted to be. I just couldn't stand half of his political beliefs.

"If she keeps playing with your grandkids and eating Debbi's cookies, you might could convince her to let you adopt her." I suggested.

"Really?" Aunt Debbi asked as she entered the room. Her wide frame covered with an apron with covered in stains and flour. Likely she'd let one of the kids help her cook. "Do you think she'd accept if we asked?"

I wince and clasp my hands together, pointer fingers still extended. "Family is a bit of a sore subject for Annabelle; I'm honestly not sure how she'd take it. Though I do know that if you wanted to make a run at adopting her, you'd have to compete with Principle Abernathy for it."

The two glanced at each other and came to a decision without delay.

"She's in good hands." Debi said quickly before ducking back into the kitchen.

"Don't you ever tell him we considered." Uncle Augustus ordered firmly, the smoke from his cigar changing to symbols of skulls and ravens.

I couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped me. A deep belly laugh that I probably wouldn't be able to do at Hogwarts. I'd be expected to be "ladylike" there. I leaned into the laugh, relishing the moment.

"It ain't funny! The man walked into a Blood Foot base by himself and not only beat every single dark witch and wizard there, but brought down the whole damn building, wards and all. The only reason he's not the most bloodied wizard in America is cause the man can hardly be pulled away from the garden his school is built around." Uncle Augustus growled angrily.

"Yeah. Okay." I said dismissively. Intellectually, he was right, but it was hard to think of a man as scary after you've watched him dance half naked around a sunrise rose while crying tears of joy. Abernathy was powerful, not violent. There was a difference.

"Alright guys! The cookies are ready!" Debi yelled, though Annabelle, Lee, five other children and myself were all in the kitchen before she finished saying "ready."

There was a bit of frantic grabbing and a brief tussle over the last of the milk, but everyone was happily munching away at their sweets in short order. Though I spoke up as a peanut butter cookie turned into a molasses cookie in my mouth. "You two. No going back outside. Pack." Small crumbs flew from my mouth as I pointed an accusing finger.

There was a collection of groans from around the table. My cousin's spawn apparently quite taken with my tagalongs, though the oldest of them, Titus, gave a fist pump. I shot him a raised eyebrow.

"She keeps going after me because I'm the oldest and the closest to a fair match." He said while poking a thumb at Annabelle.

"And?" I teased.

"And it's still really not fair." Titus stated without shame; which was fair, Annabelle had literally won world dueling tournaments.

"You got promise Titus. Just keep at it and next time I come you might just take me down." Annabelle stated happily.

"Really?" He asked, looking up.

It took a lot of effort on my part to not shake my head "no" at him. Catching up with a world champ wasn't exactly a quick prospect. Still, it was good to have something to work towards.

"Sure! If you work hard and practice, you can do anything you set your mind to." Annabelle stated firmly. That was who she was, she believed in people and I just tried to not undercut her sentiments.

We balanced each other like that.

xxxxxx

The cookies turned into a brief lunch of sandwiches, which turned into an argument about the hunting of the endangered Appalachian Ridgewart, which turned into a frantic round of packing before we bustled out to the Port Key outside. A fifth round of hugs and goodbyes were given and I went to do a last minute checklist.

"Alright, I think we have everything." I announced as I did a last system check.

"Wait!" Aunt Debi called, rushing back waiving a plastic container. "You forgot your cookies." She handed the container over with a smile. "I also packed you a vial of Stuffing Stuffer, I know how much you like mine."

"You're too good for this world Aunt Debi." I said solemnly before packing it way in my bag.

"Oh. One more thing dear. Augustus told me that you were having some trouble with those old stuff shirts from back home. I got you something to help keep you safe." Aunt Debi said with all the honey of June Cleaver. Then the woman pulled out a fucking Desert Eagle and held it out to me grip first.

"Debi!" Annabelle gasped. "We are going on a plane and then going to be living in a school!"

"Oh. So you just want to be bringing your own then." Debi said with a nod.

"No! We aren't brining any guns with us!" Annabelle shouted.

"Really? Are you sure?" Debi asked, turning to me with eyes sharp and telling me quite clearly what she thought the answer should be. Though there was no world in which I'd grab the gun from her, Annabelle would kill me.

"Aunt Debi, don't you think it would be a bit irresponsible for me to bring a firearm to a school full of children that know nothing about firearms?" I asked.

A tense moment passed and Aunt Debi shoved the gun back into...wherever it was she got the thing from.

"Fine. You girls stay safe and write often. Lee, make sure to study hard and learn all you can." The woman continued as if she hadn't just suggested we commit several felonies.

Uncle Augustus' wife was not to be fucked with.

After that time was mostly a blur. Port Key travel, a frantic run to our gate at the airport, and then almost a solid twenty-four hours spent in an airplane before finally we landed in the one first world country I hadn't stepped into. After decades avoiding it, I was in Great Britain.

"So what's first? Are we going to Diagon Alley first? I hear it's the major hub in Great Britain's magical community. Or maybe we go see Big Ben and some other non-magical tourist stuff?" Lee asked with his nose in some travel brochure.

I wasn't even sure where the kid got it.

"I think going to the school as soon as possible is the best idea. We might come back to take in the sights before school starts though. Maybe even see if we can sneak you out here on some weekends." I promised as I shuffled with my luggage, being mindful to not jostle the thing overmuch. I was likely being overcautious; the damn thing had enough enchantments on it that it'd probably keep it's contents safe through a direct missile strike.

At the same time, if the contents in the damn thing spilled out it'd probably kill dozens of people at least. A lot of the ingredients I brought with me weren't safe to mix together.

"Aw, come on! We just spent forever on the airplane! Can't we go look around a little?" Lee asked, batting his eyes.

Ordinarily, such a tactic would be tempting, but jetlag was kicking my ass and I wanted nothing more than to sleep for the next ten hours. "No."

Lee sagged in defeat.

"Well Sepi, what's the plan?" Annabelle asked.

"We're supposed to head to the Leaky Cauldron and meet up with a guide that is meant to take us to the school. Great Britain has something called the Floo Network that's meant to take us to the school."

"Then that means we can ride on one of those fancy red busses to get there?" Annabelle asked innocently.

"You mean one of those fancy red busses that tend to swing by tourist spots?" I asked wryly.

"Oh, do they?" Annabelle asked.

I was not fooled.

"Fine. We'll take the tourist busses, but I don't want to hear any complaints from either of you when we have to get off, and you're going to carry him when the jetlag catches up to him." I said pointing an accusing finger at my employee.

"Sure, but that means you're pulling all the luggage." Annabelle reminded.

I stopped in place.

"You're getting the luggage and I'll carry Lee." I stated firmly.

"Hey, I'm twelve." Lee interrupted, clearly offended. "I can walk on my own. It's not going to be an issue."

"Mhm." Annabelle and I hummed in unison.

"I am! You can bet on it! I'll be awake the entire-"

xxxxxx

Three hours later we walked into the Leaky Cauldron. Annabelle pulling the luggage as I grunted under the weight of hauling Lee around. I wasn't so sure I made the right deal about who got what and I was also beginning to suspect Lee might actually be made of lead. The kid's weight could not be natural.

The Leaky Cauldron would ordinarily not be an easy place to find, but as someone who worked with enchantments and wards quite often the bar almost shown like a spotlight to me. The place was old and active. The wards on the place had dozens of layers on it with various styles as different people all worked on the thing through the years. Rather than take the whole ward down, they would just add a new layer on tweaking what was under it.

It rather reminded me of what a few tech savvy friends referred to as "spaghetti code" and as I stood in the door studying it I couldn't decide if I was horrified or awed by the thing. It was fascinating enough that I could almost ignore the fact I was stepping into one of the most iconic locations of the Harry Potter books.

"Excuse me Miss." A deep accented voice called, and the moment shattered as I turned to see who spoke and looked up. And up. And up. Finally laying eyes on the wild bushy hair surrounding the smiling face of a half-giant man. "Yeh wouldn't happen to be Septima Wickett would yeh?"

"I am." I said, putting on my best smile, trying to shove down the nervousness that suddenly rose in me. It suddenly hit me that I wasn't just in another country in yet another magical bar. This was the place I'd read about often in my last life. The place I'd fantasized about going. The place I'd spent most of this life being afraid of. The place where the friendly giant Hagrid was...but also the place the Death Eaters were. It was complex feelings, but Hagrid didn't need to be the one to see them, so I squashed them and held out my hand in greeting. "You must be Rubeus Hagrid."

"That I am Miss Wickett." Hagrid said, taking my offered hand. "Though I suppose I should be callin' you Professor Wickett."

"Please, if there aren't any students around, call me Sepi." I said as I suppressed a wince at the half-giant's firm handshake.

"I don't know if I can be doin' that at Hogwarts. Lots of students sneakin' around and poppin' out when ye least expect it." Hagrid said good naturedly. The massive man doing a wonderful job of managing to seem incredibly harmless.

As someone who had fought angry giants before, his ability to put others at ease despite his height was impressive.

"Yeah, kids are good at that." I admitted. Lee did tend to pop up right when I was saying or doing something I wouldn't want him to hear me say or do.

"So, this'll be Lee then?" Hagrid asked peering at the sleeping child in my arms before turning to my assistant and hold out his hand. "And you must be Miss Annabelle Turner."

"I am, yes. Pleased to meet you too." Annabelle responded as she shook his hand.

"Pleasure's all mine, Miss. Now, you lot have spent the whole day travelin' and I imagine you're lookin' to have a nice sit down. Why don't I take your baggage, and we can get you settled in at Hogwarts?"

With that, the half-giant took us to the fireplace where we had to rouse Lee from his sleep so that he could stumble through the Floo after Annabelle went through. In moments we all were escorted from the fireplace of an office and then out into Hogwarts itself. All the while Hagrid led the way and talked.

"We don't get many American Wizards out this way, much less in Hogwarts itself. Great place, Hogwarts, after you all are settled, I'd be happy to show you around." Hagrid said happily as Lee stared at the half-giant with his mouth half open. I wasn't sure if that was because it was the first time he'd seen someone so tall, or if it was because he'd just woken up. Lee didn't take waking up well.

Annabelle meanwhile seemed to have found a kindred spirit in the giant.

"Oh! That'd be great! I'm sure the school has a lot of history and secrets that we wouldn't find by ourselves." Annabelle stated happily.

"Well, I am Keeper of Keys and Grounds of the school. I reckon I know a thing or two."

"Oh I'm sure. Sepi and I have found in our travels that the Groundskeeper of any place usually has a better idea of what's going on than most anyone else at the school."

"Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm sure I can make sure you can always get to where yer goin."

"Well I look forward to seeing the gardens here. All the schools I went to were too warm to-"

Back and forth the two went as Annabelle fulfilled the major reason I had initially hired her. She was really good with people. I've seen the woman charm the most ornery of old men and appease the most prickly of assholes. She always managed to come across as knowledgeable and genuine without seeming overbearing.

I think it was the accent.

Still, more than her combat and potions abilities, I paid her to deal with people. I didn't do so great with people. I could learn to adapt and interact well with an individual and could even fake it for a crowd. I just didn't like to.

So, on and on the two chatterboxes went as we walked the halls of the school. At one point stopping at a stairwell as we waited for it to change positions before continuing. I tuned out their talking and just absorbed the location. Suits of armor, intricate tapestries, and living paintings were everywhere. Wizarding history was on display everywhere. The kind of history that Smokey Woods and Ambrose Academy just couldn't have on the simple basis they weren't old enough.

Most of all though, there was Magic. The capital letters well deserved. You could feel the charge of magic in the air, eager, mischievous, and astonishingly purposeful. Places that had a potent concentration of magic weren't exactly rare, but they tended to be wild or old and stubborn. Here it was eager to help, but also had a task. I wasn't sure if it was because of the enchantments on school or something more natural.

This was likely already researched, but I'd be interested in-

"Ah. Professor Severus, sir." My head snapped up and beheld the form of Severus Snape. He was shorter than I expected, being roughly average height for a man. Though I suppose all the descriptions I knew were from the perspective of a teenager that hadn't finished growing. The rest of the physical characteristics were spot on; a large hooked nose, willowy thin frame, pale skin and greasy hair. Though I did recognize something Harry Potter never did. The reason Snape's hair was greasy. I knew the look instantly. A concoction used to keep all hair and dandruff attached to the head that was necessary for all high level brewing. I'd always called it liquid hairnet.

Most people washed it out after they were done brewing but Snape seemed content to just leave the stuff in.

"Just showin' tha new professor to her-"

Snape had turned as well and the man's eyes widened and there was even a ghost of a smile on his face as he locked eyes not with me, but with my assistant.

"Miss Turner." The man said in surprise.

"Snape? Hi! It's been a while." Annabelle chirped happily. My head snapped over to her to ask why she was chatting with familiarity with the biggest asshole in the building. Which said a lot considering Voldemort was also somewhere in the building...in a manner of speaking.

"Yes. Championship of '89 I believe. A shame. I had hoped to rectify my defeat last year." Snape stated with something approaching a teasing tone.

What the fuck?

"Sorry, Sepi and I were in the Pacific Principality and things got out of hand, so I couldn't get away in time." Annabelle continued.

No, seriously. What the fuck? Did my assistant become friends with Severus fucking Snape somewhere without me realizing it? Was Snape just shitty to kids?

"A shame. Though if you are set to be the teacher here, I trust we can avoid the stupidity of the average new hire."

"Oh, I'm not the new hire. That's Sepi here." Annabelle said as she hitched a thumb over towards me. Severus finally seemed to realize that there was, in fact, other people there as his eyes turned towards me. The man had excellent control of his expression but the fact that he blinked four times in less than a second told me that something about me perplexed him. "I'm just here to be Sepi's assistant."

"You're an assistant?" Snape asked with affront and his lip curled as he stared me down. "And who, pray tell, are you?"

"Septima Wickett. The Runes Professor for this year." I answered with a smile that was kind and pleasant and not at all a snarling honey badger.

"I've never heard of you." The man continued and proved that it was, in fact, not just children that he was an asshole to.

"Okay." I responded simply before letting things lap to silence. I didn't need to justify myself to this man.

The sneer on the potion professor's face grew more sever and I debated going ahead and already laying in on him about his shitty attitude before the very large form of Hagrid stepped between us.

"You'll need to excuse us Professor. This lot just came in. Spent all day traveling, they did. I'm just off to show them to their room. If you'll excuse us." Hagrid said as he gently began to move Lee, who now seemed very much awake.

I continued after politely and with grace. Annabelle only had to stop me from flipping the bird at Snape's back once.