Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

SIMON

I  bolt upright to that song again.

If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me

It can’t be!

“No, no, no!” I shout over the music. “The loop is over! I made it to Sunday! We fixed it!”

“It’s not my job to wake you up. Get an alarm clock you fucking numpty,” Baz says, sounding confused.

“This can’t be happening!” I yell as I rake my hands through my hair.

Baz runs out the door and I get out of bed and follow him. I start running down the stairs, then I trip. As I tumble, I feel a sharp pain.

Then I wake up covered in sweat.

It’s still dark. It was just a nightmare , I realize as I catch my breath.

It’s blissfully quiet. Baz is still asleep in his own bed. With a book on his chest.

I fell asleep while he was still studying so he must have decided to sleep in his own bed so he wouldn’t wake me up. Or he accidentally fell asleep.

But I’m burning up and I know he won’t mind, so  I get up, take the book off of him and slip into bed with him. He sleeps like the dead so I’m able to cuddle up to his cool body without bothering him.

It’s still going to be hours before breakfast so I let myself drift back to sleep.

BAZ

I wake up in a tangle of Simon’s limbs. He must have woken up sometime last night and gotten into bed with me. I’m grateful for the warmth. And waking up with the boy I love is nice too.

For a moment I consider slipping out of bed and playing the song to mess with him. But after the dream I had, the idea puts knots in my stomach.

I dreamt I was in one of the mornings from the loop I saw in Simon’s mind. It was strange. It was from my own point of view and I actually said, “It's not my job to wake you up. Get an alarm clock, you fucking numpty.” It felt like I couldn’t not say it. I didn’t want to say it so I just ran away. I don’t remember anything after that.

Plus our new relationship changes everything. There’s so many things I can do now, and so many things I can’t do. I’m not going to miss the physical fighting, but resisting the urge to torment him will take some getting used to.

I slip out of bed carefully and get dressed. Getting dressed before him means I don’t have to go into the bathroom to change while he’s getting dressed.

But he will miss breakfast if he doesn’t get up soon. Luckily, I don’t have to be sneaky about waking him up now.

“Simon,” I say softly, and pet his head.

He doesn’t move.

“Simon,” I say louder.

Still nothing.

“Scones,” I say louder.

He lifts his head. “Hmm?”

I roll my eyes and say, “You’re like one of those dogs that only responds to ‘chicken,’ because it thinks that’s it’s name.” 

“Sod off,” he says sleepily, and hugs a pillow.

I wish I could get back and bed with him and just stay there, but it’s Monday and we have classes.

“Get dressed, before we miss breakfast.”

At that, he jumps out of bed, hurries over to his wardrobe and starts stripping. He never used to do that in front of me before.

I know that loop was a horrible nightmare. But gods bless it.

I avert my eyes, but I also sneak glances. I know I shouldn’t, but I’m so used to stealing glances already. It’s the same as before, just without trousers.

When he turns around, I’m making heavy eye contact with the bathroom door.

“Ready?” he asks.

I nod and we walk out together. 

SIMON

It’s not a secret that Baz and I are dating. It’s actually all people have been talking about lately. (We haven’t told people about the loop because Penny thinks it’d be bad if people knew I could just wish things true with magic. So people are surprised how fast Baz and I went from being at each other's throats to at each other’s mouths.)

Baz sits with us now at meals. I told Baz his friends could all sit with us too, but he says Dev has a crush on Agatha he doesn’t want to encourage it. And I am over Agatha, but I don’t think I’d enjoy seeing Dev flirt with her. And I don’t think she’d enjoy it either.

I offered to sit with them. Just me. But Baz says the only reason they’re not cheesed off with him is because he told them he is doing this all to infiltrate our gang. And they wouldn’t appreciate my company. To be honest, I think even with the excuse they’re still a little cheesed off at him about us. I know Agatha is.

Yesterday, after Baz and I explained everything to Penny, she did her best to reassure Agatha about him at lunch. Agatha still isn’t totally on board, but I think she’s happy that if there’s something wrong, it’s Penny’s responsibility and not hers.

She keeps giving Baz and I uncomfortable glances. I’m not holding it against her. He is sitting with one arm around me and using the other to sip his tea. And I’m pretty sure all the hickies on my neck are visible. Plus until two days ago, Baz and I were practically fighting over her, and now she knows he was just using her to get to me and I still don’t know how I feel about her. So, she’s being more civil about it than I could have hoped for.

I would say Baz is oblivious to Agatha’s discomfort, but I know he’s not and just doesn’t care.

After spending a lot of time yesterday trying refresh me on all the material for my classes and helping me with my homework, Penny keeps chastising me about not using my time in the loop to study. “So, remind me again. When the day was slowed, and you were waiting for me to fix it, what were you doing instead of studying?”.

I blush and Baz smirks. Him and I both know I was reading The Captive Prince. By far, the smuttiest (and gayest) book I’ve ever encountered in my whole life.

“I- Uhh- Just reading a novel I found in Baz’s wardrobe,” I say.

“What novel?”

Her and I have a ‘no secrets’ pact. I don’t know what to say.

“You wouldn’t know it,” Baz says casually in my defense, then gets up and says, “Excuse me. I have to report to my minions on all the intelligence I’ve gathered from my mission.”

Then he spends the few remaining minutes of breakfast with Dev and Neil.

* * *

When I get to class, I sit in my usual spot in the back.

When Baz comes in I expect him to take his usual spot in the front with Dev, but he walks to the back and sits at the table with me. He smiles and takes my hand.

“What about Dev?” I ask.

“You’re more hopeless in elocution without my help than Dev is,” he says and squeezes my hand.

I don’t know how he does it. He makes me smile by insulting me.

We end up sitting together in every class. Penny doesn’t mind in the ones we also share with her. I think she likes this a lot more than him always trying to antagonize me into going off but she still rolls her eyes at us.

Baz cast on the other hand on himself to make himself left handed so he could hold my hand with his right while taking notes.

And he’s so patient with me throughout the day. It’s nothing like before. He helps me and doesn’t get annoyed when I struggle. And after a two week “break” I’m struggling a lot even after Penny’s attempt catch me up.

When I was trying to do the cleaning spell  I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch, I thought for sure he’d get frustrated. But he stayed calm the whole time and didn’t make fun of me at all. He just told me to say is very slowly and repeat it then speed up each time I got it right. I still can’t say it, but I’m getting better a lot faster than I usually do with tongue twisters.

When he leaned in and whispered, “later, when we’re alone in our room, we can practice twisting our tongues some more,” I think I probably turned scarlet from how hot my face felt. 

BAZ

Sitting with Simon in class is a lot more fun than I anticipated.

I enjoy school, but I’m normally so far ahead of the class I’m fairly bored. But helping Simon is entertaining. And Crowley knows he needs it. And not just because he’s out of practice. He’s always been in desperate need of help. He had only been getting by because of Bunce.

I wonder if this is how my mother felt when she taught. It’s surprisingly rewarding when he finally get something right.

But he keeps getting distracted by the other students giving us weird looks. Every time, I just grip his hand a little tighter and sneer at them. They always look away. No one is stupid enough to challenge me or The Chosen One. Especially after everyone saw Marcus’s face after Saturday. The combination of the footballs and Simon’s fists really did a number on him. And even though I know Marcus didn’t tell anyone what happened, and Simon didn’t tell anyone what happened, everyone knows what happened.

The weird looks will fade soon.

After our last class, Bunce asks us if we want to study in the library.

“I was actually going to study with Baz, if you don’t mind,” Simon says.

Bunce rolls her eyes but smiles and says, “I’ll see you at dinner.”

Simon and I hold hands all the way back to our room, and the moment the door is closed he throws his bag (with his laptop inside it) on the floor, and pins me to the door. His mouth is on mine before I have time to blink. His tongue is in my mouth before I have time to think.

I relish the way his tongue caresses mine. It glides over mine, teasing it until I start kissing back. Our kisses become increasingly passionate and sloppy, making smacking sounds.

We do this for what could be minutes or hours, until I hold him back a little. He still tries to reach my mouth but I say, “what happened to studying?”

“What happened to twisting our tongues?”

I grab his head and give him a deep and thorough snog, then pull his head back and say, “after we study.”

He huffs and picks up his bag and sets it on the desk.

“We could make this fun,” I say.

“How?” he asks, sounding dubious.

“I quiz you on Magical Words, and for each you get right, I take an article of clothing off but for each you get wrong, you take something off.”

“Strip studying?” he asks like it’s the best idea he’s ever heard.

I nod and sit on my bed.

“No books,” I say. “You should know all this from studying with Bunce.”

He nods and sits on his bed, facing me, looking excited.

“What does back on your feet do?” I ask.

“It helps someone up,” he says with a ridiculous smile on his face.

I take off my blazer and ask, “What does all thumbs do?”

“Turns all your fingers into thumbs.”

I am in love with a moron.

“Take your blazer off,” I tell him. He does.

I hand him a pen and paper, take out my wand and say, “ All thumbs! ”

He stares at his hands a bit confused then I tell him to write something. He tries but his hands are so clumsy, whatever he’s writing is illegible.

Luckily the spell only lasts a moment.

“How would you fix what you have written so others can read it?” I ask.

“Rewrite it,” he says.

I do my best not to roll my eyes. I don’t want to discourage him.

I tap the paper with my wand and say “ chicken scratch! ” and the words clear up. It just says his name.

He takes off a shoe.

“What does leave no stone unturned do?” I ask.

“It turns the room inside out, taking out drawers and turning them over so you can search it. I wish I knew that one when I was going through your stuff. I would have found your secret stash faster.”

I take off my tie and say, “show me.”

He takes out his wand and says, “ leave no stone unturned! ”

A couple drawers slide open, but they don’t come out and flip over and everything stays inside.

“How would you undo this?” I ask.

He doesn’t even bother to answer. He just takes off his other shoe. All the blood I’ve got in me rushes to my ears and cheeks when I look at his stockinged feet.

I point my wand at it and say, “ right as rain! ” Everything goes back to its proper place.

We do this for a while before we get to the point where I’m shirtless (I still have shoes and socks but I chose to take off my shirt first) and he’s just in his pants. It’s nice- Crowly, it’s beyond nice, it’s breathtaking- to be able to see him like this without pretending not to notice. But he looks nervous.

“I think we have a clear winner,” I say, smugly. I don’t want him to do anything he’s uncomfortable with so I’m going to end the game here.

He looks relieved and disappointed.

“How about the loser has to snog the winner?” I suggest.

He jumps to his feet and is on me in an instant. He’s pushed me onto the bed and climbed on top of me. The feeling of our bare chests pressed together is exhilarating. I almost regret prolonging this to help him study.

I put a hand on his hip and a hand in his hair while his tongue is deep in my mouth. He has boundless energy. I don’t think I’d be able to keep up with him if I weren’t a vampire.

His kisses trail across my face to my neck and he starts sucking. He has been relentlessly trying to give me a hickey. Every time he creates one it fades away in minutes.

He tilts his head back and groans. It’s incredibly sexy. I think I forgot how to breathe.

Then he says, “it’s dinner time” and climbs off me.

I quietly huff.

His stomach is like an alarm clock that goes off at the exact time for meals. Excluding for breakfast today and during the loop. Normally he’s up offensively early for breakfast.

As he’s buttoning up his shirt after putting on his trousers, he looks at me, noticing I’m not getting dressed.

“Aren’t you hungry?” he asks.

“No. I’m just going to stay here and read.”

“You haven’t eaten anything all day,” he says.

Technically that’s untrue. I went to the loo, ate a mint Aero bar then cast tide you over on myself.

“I’m not hungry,” I tell him.

He frowns and asks, “do you have an eating disorder?”

I roll my eyes.

I still hate saying this out loud, but I say, “I’m a vampire. I don’t need to eat as much as other people.”

“You need to eat sometime though, yeah?” he asks.

“Yes. Sometime . Not now,” I say.

“Why?”

I huff and avert eye contact before I say it. “I don’t like it when people watch me eat… My fangs come out.”

“Even with regular food?”

“Even with regular food.”

“I’ve never noticed,” he says.

“I’m careful not to eat in front of people. Especially people that have been trying to prove I’m a vampire for years.”

He looks away guiltily.

There’s an awkward silence between us for a time. But then he walks up to me and runs his fingers through my hair while I look away.

“You know I don’t care about that anymore, right?” he asks.

I have a two week catalog of his thoughts in my mind. I do know that. The daft fool thought my fangs were cool. They’re anything but.

He grabs a fist full of my hair and firmly forces me to look at him.

I’m afraid my breath hitched. I love it when he takes control. It makes me feel like he wants me just as much as I want him.

He looks me in the eyes for a moment then gives me a proper snog. 

SIMON

I walk into the room and I’m completely starkers. Everything feels unfamiliar, despite it being our room, but nothing feels wrong.

Baz is on his bed, shirtless. He looks at me and smirks.

“Take off your trousers,” I command him. I’ve been wanting to tell him that for a long time but it came out more demanding than I wanted.

Luckily he looks more than happy to oblige.

I walk up to him and hook my fingers in the waistband of his pants. Every bone in my body is telling me to just pull them down, but I resist so I can look at him for approval first. He nods and then I slide them down.

I aggressively yank him to the edge of the bed by his legs, then stand between them. He wraps his legs around the small of my back.

It takes all the effort I have to ask this instead of proceeding, but I ask, “are you sure you want this?”

BAZ

I wake up to Simon mumbling in his sleep.

I sigh, feeling frustrated. I was just having the best dream too.

I must have moved or something because Simon wakes up too. We’re facing each other and he gives me these slow and sleepy blinks.

“Go back to sleep,” I tell him quietly.

“Roll over,” he mumbles.

I do and he scoots toward me, pulls me into his arms and spoons me. I enjoy this more than I will ever admit to anyone ever.

I’m surprised I woke up from that. Normally I sleep really well on a full stomach.

When Simon came back from dinner he brought lots of food with him. More than necessary. He really wanted to make sure I had enough to eat.

Then we kissed for almost an eternity. But eventually he started smelling better and better and I realized I needed to feed. So I went to the catacombs.

Simon asked if he could come with me and I told him “fuck no.”

When I got back, he was asleep in my bed.

I considered sleeping in his bed so I wouldn’t wake him, then I realized he probably did that intentionally so I would get into the same bed as him.

I feel his hot lips kiss the back of my neck. Getting into bed with him was definitely the right choice.

Chapter Text

BAZ

Simon Snow has followed me into the forest.

He’s not supposed to be here. I’m hunting. I’m so hungry and he smells so good.

I try to keep my distance from him, but he keeps following me.

I cast hunting spell after hunting spell, but I can’t find anything. Not even a squirrel.

I’m so hungry.

My mouth is full of fangs and feels too dry. My stomach feels like a void.

Simon gets closer and I can hear his heart beating. I can smell him. He smells like a sticky cinnamon roll. I can smell the hot sweet warmth.

“Stay away,” I warn. I try to sound threatening but my fangs giving me a lisp.

I keep trying hunting spells, putting the weight of my magic into them, but I can’t find anything. I need to find something.

He keeps getting closer, and I growl, “leave, Snow!”

He doesn’t stop walking towards me, and I keep walking backwards until I hit a tree.

“Please,” I beg. I don’t want to bite him. I’m so hungry and he smells so good.

I’m panting and I feel tears welling and I say, “Run! Please!”

He looks pained and says, “I can’t.”

I grab him go in for the bite. 

SIMON

I wake up to Baz screaming.

He fell out of bed and when I look over, his cheeks are full. He’s looking at me, terrified. His face is wet. I can see it shine in the moonlight.

“Baz,” I say gently.

He ignores me.

After he catches his breath, he gets up and storms out of the room.

I sigh and lay back down.

We’ve always been plagued with nightmares, but I think we’ve both been having weird dreams every night all week. At least I have.

Some are good. Yesterday I had a dream that I was in The Captive Prince. I was Damianos and Baz was Laurent. We still looked like ourselves but I could just tell we were them. The setting and clothing looked like something from the book. But instead of fighting, we kissed. We kissed a lot. (Which we do while awake too.) (I still haven’t finished the book and Baz told me it’s actually a trilogy.)

The night before was another nightmare though.

I thought since we started dating I’d stop having nightmares about him biting me, but I guess not. But now he at least doesn’t seem to want to bite me in them anymore. And it’s partially my fault in them because I don’t give him space when he asks for it. I want to, but sometimes in my dreams I feel like I have control, and sometimes I feel like I’m acting out a part and it’s hard to break away.

BAZ

I’m starting to think sleeping in bed with Simon isn’t such a great idea.

I adore every second we touch, and waking up in his arms is the most angelic thing I’ve ever experienced. I didn’t even think I was capable of experiencing angelic things.

But I think having him so close while I’m not fully conscious is dangerous. I think I smell him in my sleep. This is the second time I’ve dreamt about biting him. It feels so real in the dream.

After the first one, I made sure I fed before bed every night. But tonight I did and still had the dream.

Now I’m hunting rats in the catacombs for the second time tonight. Apparently six isn’t enough.

I drain another four and I feel too full. I feel sick. Yet, I don’t think any amount of rats will make Simon smell any less tempting.

When I finally get back to our room, Simon is asleep in my bed. I decide to sleep in his.

* * *

I know Simon likes to get up early for breakfast. I’ve accepted that.

He gets up, quietly gets ready and goes to breakfast. Then he stuffs his mouth with scones and talks to Bunce for an hour or so until I get there.

This morning he had forgone the ‘quiet’ part of the routine. He’s mumbling to himself while moving about the room.

“Would you kindly shut up?” I say with a little more malice than I intended. I’m tired and it’s hard to be polite when he’s being so inconsiderate.

He keeps mumbling. It’s driving me mad.

“Please,” I beg, trying to be nicer.

He still doesn’t stop.

I finally sit up and shout, “shut up, you fucking numpty!”

I look around and he’s not here. The mumbling is gone.

Did I just dream that?

* * *

When I get to the dining hall, Simon’s eyes light up when he sees me and he waves me over. Bunce smiles and Wellbelove tries to look indifferent but fails. She’s definitely still a little bitter but she’ll get over it. (If she doesn’t, oh well.)

I sit down and see Simon has saved me a pot of tea and a cup. He’s turning into one of my minions.

I kiss him on the cheek and thank him. Only the special minions get kisses.

“Bunce, are you sparkling?” I ask noticing a shimmer.

She groans and Simon says, “don’t get her started again.”

“She didn’t even ask me!” Bunce says.

“She was just trying to be helpful,” Simon says.

“Well, she wasn’t helpful,” Bunce says, and looks at me. “Trixie did my laundry with hers.”

I sigh on her behalf. Having a pixie for a roommate would be a nightmare.

“Now,” she continues angrily, “there’s pixie dust all over my clothes and I can’t spell it out.”

“It’s just a slight shimmer,” I say.

“Look at my socks,” she says.

I peek under the table and her socks look like they’re made of glitter.

It’s truly horrific, but I look at Simon and can’t help but think that Simon would look gorgeous in nothing but glittery pants and socks.

“What?” Simon asks, shyly.

Crowley. I must be making a dumb face. I carefully school it to my usual unreadable expression.

“Have you tried spark off?” I ask.

“That could start a fire,” Bunce says.

“You think I don’t know a plethora of spells to put out a fire? I can literally put out fire with fire.” I say.

“How?” Simon asks.

“Fight fire with fire,” I say.

“Alright,” Bunce says. “Take away my twinkle.”

For a moment I think she said, “take away my twink, ” and I look at Simon and think gladly . Love apparently makes me stupid.

He gives me an odd look and I ignore it.

“Spark off! ” I say, pointing my wand at Bunce. It works like a charm. The sparkles lose their shine and disappear completely.

“Thank you, Basil.”

SIMON

I could swear, Baz was saying the weirdest stuff under his breath at breakfast. I heard something about glittery pants and twinks. But no one else seemed to. Maybe I just misheard.

I decided not to ask him about it. There’s more important stuff going on today.

For one, we have to talk about his nightmares. I’m pretty sure I know what they’re about. I’ve been having the same nightmare and I don’t get upset over it, so he shouldn’t either. I need to tell him that I know he will never bite me. Even if he isn’t sure.

For two, we have an exam in Magical Words right now. Baz and I have been playing that strip studying game all week and I still haven’t gotten to see him in his pants. Merlin, I’ve been studying hard to get him out of his trousers, but there’s too many spells. I don’t know how Baz and Penny remember them all.

The exams are placed in front of us. Baz says, “good luck,” and squeezes my hand.

I write my name at the top and look at the first question.

“1.) Name a spell to make yourself cry.”

Ugh. It’s not good when you don’t know the first answer on an exam.

I know Baz told me this one, but I remember thinking, “Why would anyone ever need to know that?” So, I just forgot about it.

Crocodile tears.

Did Baz just whisper that to me?

I look and he is focusing on the exam. He doesn’t even notice me looking at him.

I must have just remembered that. I write that down and look at the next question.

“2.) Name a sleep aid spell.”

Sleep like the dead. Sleep like a log. Sleep like a baby.

I look at Baz.

Don’t let the bedbugs bite.

His lips aren’t moving and he still isn’t noticing me looking at him.

How am I thinking of these so quickly? Did he wish me luck with magic? That’s cheating.

I write one down and look at the next question.

“3.) Name an offensive spell.”

Pinch punch first of the month.

I remember that one. I had forgotten about it until now.

Baz used it on me in our fourth year. It hurt. If felt like actually getting punched. When I did it back, he said, “slap and a kick for being so quick! ” That hurt worse. Then he did it to me again a month later, but added, “No returns of any kind , ” and the ‘slap and a kick’ thing didn’t even work when I tried to do it back.

I write it down and go to the next question.

Again, the answer just pops in my head. It happens with every question up until the last one.

I can’t believe Baz would cast a luck spell on me. I know I wouldn’t have gotten every question right without it, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have failed either. I know he’s called me a sorry excuse for a mage before, but I thought he was exaggerating to be a prick. I didn’t think he really thought so little of me.

Baz and I both turn in our exams at the same time.

I try to storm away from him to our room but he’s keeping up with me easily. Jammy bastard with his long legs.

“How’d it go?” he asks me when we get outside.

“I think you know,” I tell him.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” he says, stopping me by grabbing my arm.

“Of course you’re sure,” I say bitterly.

“You were improving. I know the exam couldn’t have gone that badly,” he says.

“I’m stupid, but I’m not completely stupid. I know you spelled me for good luck,” I say.

He looks at me confused. “I didn’t do that. I wouldn’t have done that.”

“Then how’d I know the answers?” I ask.

“Because we studied everyday, you dolt.”

Did I just know the answers?

“Yes,” Baz says and takes my hand.

BAZ

I can’t believe Simon thought I would have cheated. My mother was headmistress for Crowley’s sake. I would never compromise the validity of the school.

But now that the test is over, we can finally relax. I promised him I’d read him more Harry Potter. He asked me if I’d read him The Captive Prince, but I told him he can read that on his own. I definitely don’t want to read that out loud.

When we get to our room, he sits on my bed. Normally he’d be pinning me to the wall kissing me the second we were alone. 

I sigh and get out the Harry Potter books. I take out The Sorcerer's Stone and get on the bed with Simon.

“Before we read,” Simon says, “I think we should talk about the nightmares.”

I don’t want to say this. “I think we should both sleep in our own beds for now on.”

“No! They’re just dreams,” he says.

“Dreams where I try to bite you then wake up craving your blood. You really want that next to you while you sleep?”

“I have the same dream and it doesn’t bother me,” he says.

“You dream that I try to bite you?” I ask.

“Yes.”

That makes my heart sink. It’s perfectly understandable. And he absolutely should be afraid of me. But it still hurts to know it with certainty.

“Isn’t there a spell for nightmares?” he asks.

“I’ve been casting rest assured on us for years. I think we developed a tolerance to it,” I tell him.

“You’ve been casting things on me without asking?” he asks with his voice raising a bit.

“Your nightmares were waking me up. And we hated each other so it wasn’t like I could ask.” I didn’t hate you. I just had to pretend to.

He kisses me. He gives me soft gentle kisses.

It always takes me a moment to give them back. I have to remember that I’m allowed to. That I don’t have to push him away anymore.

But I eventually do give them back. I kiss him with the same loving tenderness he uses to kiss me. I set the book down and run my fingers through his golden curls.

He stops and says, “please sleep with me.”

For a moment my heart stops because I think he’s asking… But then I realize what he means.

“I can’t. It’s too dangerous,” I tell him.

“You’re not going to bite me. And even if you did, you’d be stuck with my pious face forever, and that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”

I roll my eyes then shake my head.

“I could never do that to you,” I say.

“Exactly!” He says.

“Not on purpose. But while I’m sleeping, who knows.”

“You wake up before you bite me,” he says.

He’s right. “How do you know that?”

He looks uncharacteristically thoughtful for a second then says, “I don’t know. I guess that’s what happened in my dreams, so I just. Forget it. I’m being daft.”

“What happens in your dreams?” I ask.

“You go into the forest and I follow you… You tell me to go but I keep following. Your hunting spells don’t work and eventually I corner you into a tree. You tell me to go and I want to, but I can’t. Then I wake up before you bite me.”

“How long have you been having that specific dream?” I ask.

“Just over the last week.”

Strange. I’ve been having the same dream for years.

“Years?” Simon asks.

… Simon?

“Yes?”

Oh fuck.

“What?”

Simon.

“Why aren’t his lips moving?” Simon thinks.

… Simon…

“Oh fuck. Baz? ”

Something is terribly wrong. 

Chapter Text

BAZ

“Shut up!” I yell in the quiet library.

“I wasn’t saying anything,” Simon whines.

“Well, you were thinking loudly,” I say.

“If you two are going to argue, can you do it in you heads please? Thank you,” Bunce says, without actually waiting for an answer.

“Sorry, Baz… ” Simon thinks.

It’s okay. Sorry for yelling… Just try to think more quietly, please.

This mind reading thing is a nightmare. I seem to be able to control what Simon does and doesn’t hear somewhat well as long as I’m actively trying, but he has no control over his thoughts. They fade in and out every so often.

You’d think someone who actively and successfully tries not to think would be better at this.

“‘Humans typically have multiple dreams per night that grow longer as sleep draws to a close,’ ” Simon reads in his head.

We’re all looking at books that have anything to do with dreams or telepathy.

“‘Dreams typically involve elements from waking lives…’ This is boring. I wonder what they’re going to serve at dinner. I hope it’s roast beef. If you have sex in a dream, are you a virgin? They better not serve black pudding again. Roast beef everyday, I can live with. But I draw the line of black pudding for more than two days in a row. What time is it?” he babbles in his mind.

I’ve been trying to read the same page of my book for over five minutes.

“Baz? BAZ? "

What?

“What time is it? ”

I sigh in my mind for his benefit.

Dinner won’t start for an hour.

“Okay. Thanks. ”

After we figured out we could hear each other’s thoughts, we tested some things. First we tried reading the other’s mind while the other tried to hide their thoughts. Mostly, Simon couldn’t hear mine. But I could hear all of Simon’s.

I tried to block myself from hearing Simon’s thoughts, but that doesn’t seem to work well. I would apologize for the intrusion but I already had two weeks of his thoughts from the loop in my head. More won’t make a huge difference. His thoughts are so innocent compared to mine.

“‘The ancient Egyptians believed that dreams were communications from the gods, or prophecies of what was to come.’ Baz is Egyptian. Am I a god? No. I think I’d know if I were. But then again I didn’t know I was The Chosen One.”

We tried physically distancing ourselves but that didn’t seem to affect volume at all.

“BAZ! ”

Yes?

“Someone wrote in this book. It says, ‘Roses are red. Violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly. But then I saw you.'”

And?

“That’s mean. ”

You know they can’t see you, right?

“I know. But it’s still mean. ”

It’s not even that good.

“Do you have a better one? ”

Roses are red. Grass is green. You’re the best thing to ruin my life. Was that mean?

Simon bursts out laughing. I can’t help but smile.

“What is so funny?” Bunce asks, a little annoyed. (She feels like Simon isn’t taking this seriously enough.) (She’s not wrong.)

“Snow is getting distracted by the graffiti in his book,” I tell her.

Simon keeps laughing and Penny glares at us, then gets up to find another book.

“Roses are red. Violets are blue. I love your hairdo. ”

That’s terrible. 

Roses are red. My boyfriend is Snow. This certainly makes him my only hoe.

“Hey! ”

Hahahahah!

“Roses are red. Baz is a Pitch. This certainly makes him my only bitch. ”

I think something that I’m afraid sounds a lot like “harrumph .” I have no idea if that slipped through and he heard it or not.

Roses are red. This is a sign. Simon Snow is all mine.

“Roses are red. A lion roars. You’re right. I’m all yours.

I lift his hand and kiss it.

He looks at me with his mouth slightly hanging open.

“He’s so beautiful. I want to kiss him, ” Simon thinks.

I grab Simon by the back of the head and start snogging him in the middle of the library.

Simon’s mind finally goes quiet.

He runs his fingers through my hair. I love his feeling his fingers glide over my scalp.

“Hey! Love birds!” Penny yells. “Do you two wanna be stuck like this forever?”

“Maybe, ” Simon thinks, hand still in my hair.

“You’re right,” I say and go back to trying to read.

Simon’s hand drops.

“This wouldn’t be so bad though, would it? ”

Simon. It’s hard to think while being constantly bombarded by your thoughts. If we could control this, it might be okay. But we can’t. And for all we know, things could get worse.

“Worse how? ”

I don’t know. 

SIMON

Thank magic, there’s roast beef.

I pile it on my plate like I’ve done so many times before.

Baz took the books up to the room while Penny and I go to dinner. I’m going to bring some up to him when we’re done. I don’t know how he managed to survive so long without eating in front of anyone.

When I turn to go sit at our table, I trip. As I fall my instincts are to save the roast beef and not my head. There’s a sharp pain and everything goes black for a moment.

When I open my eyes, everything is too bright and there’s a loud ringing sound that slowly turns into laughter. One person’s laughter.

When I sit up everything is spinning and I see Marcus standing over me.

“Did you surriously juss trip me?” I ask, slurring my words.

I feel nauseous and everything is hazy. My head is throbbing. I know this feeling. It’s a concussion. I got one once while fighting goblins.

Baz?

BAZ?

I need your help.

I look at my roast beef and despite my best efforts, the plate is still shattered next to me.

Next thing I know, Penny is helping me up and threatening Marcus.

I’m having a hard time following what they’re saying. I think Penny just threatened to spell his bollocks off.

“Why do you even bother?” I ask. “You know Baz n’ I could kick your arse.”

“You two are going to have bigger problems than me to deal with,” he says as Penny starts walking me out of the dining hall with my arm over her shoulders.

What does that mean?

Baz?

When we get outside I tell Penny I need to sit down. I sit down on the ground against the wall.

Baz!

“Get well soon! ” Penny says, pointing her ring at me.

It makes my head feel a bit better but I’m still tired and dizzy. Healing spells aren’t the best at fixing brain injuries. They don’t really work on mental illnesses either.

“Can you summon Baz?” Penny asks, looking worried. I don’t know if she can help me all the way back to the room by herself.

“I’m trying. I don’t think he can hear me right now,” I tell her.

“I wonder if I can wank before they come back, ” I hear in Baz’s voice.

Baz?

“Simon? ” Baz thinks in a surprised voice.

“Wait,” I say to Penny, putting a hand up.

Perfect timing. We need your help. We’re outside of the dining hall. Can you come and get us?

“Get you? What happened? ”

Penny will explain when you get here.

“I’m on my way. ”

“He’s on his way,” I tell Penny.

I lean back against the wall and take deep breaths.

After a couple minutes Baz thinks, “ Why are Simon’s thoughts so quiet? Where’s all the babbling? ”

I don’t think he meant for me to hear that. He’s pretty good at controlling his thoughts, but some slip out.

When he sees us, he jogs up to us asking, “What happened?”

“Marcus attacked him,” Penny tells him.

“I’m going to kill him,” Baz thinks.

“He didn’t attack me. He just tripped me,” I say.

“Are you alright?” Baz asks.

“I think he has a concussion,” Penny says.

“Do we need to take him to the hospital?” Baz asks.

“No. I just need to lay down,” I say.

“Alright,” Baz says, and gives me his hand. I take it and he hoists me up. He puts my arm over his shoulders like Penny did, but he has to crouch because he’s so bloody tall, and wraps an arm around my waist.

“Penny, can you go get a plate of roast beef?” Baz asks.

She does, and Baz starts walking me to Mummers House.

“I wish I could carry you bridal style,” Baz jokes.

“It would be easier,” I say.

“Are you serious?”

“Why not?” I say.

Baz looks around us and the coast seems to be clear, so he picks me up with one arm holding my legs and the other supporting my back. I wrap my arms around his neck. 

BAZ

After we got Simon in bed, Bunce and I start going through books again. Apparently Simon isn’t supposed to read, or sleep or do anything until he starts feeling better.

I’m a little concerned because I know I can hear him right now, but he isn’t thinking much. I constantly check in.

Simon?

“Yeah? ”

Are you alright?

“You can assume I am unless I pass out. ”

I frown at the thought.

Penny is making a list of possible causes.

“So, it could be a curse,” she says and writes that first.

“And,” she continues, “I was thinking, it could be a nature spirit.”

“How do you figure that?”

“You guys bother the dryads a lot. The nature spirits watch over them and they have been known to harass people that disturb the peace.”

She’s missing the obvious. I don’t know if this is like what my family does and they’re ignoring this problem or if it honestly didn’t occur to them. But they both know I’m a vampire. This is probably my fault. Vampires are known for having psychic influences. For all I know I have powers I don’t know how to control.

I know Simon didn’t explicitly confirm to Bunce what I am, but I’m sure has surmised based on him not explicitly denying what I am.

All I can think, while she makes her list is vampire, vampires, vampire.

“I think you’re missing the obvious,” Simon says.

Fuck. A thought must have slipped through.

“This is probably my fault,” he says.

Wait, what?

“I probably said something with magic by accident again,” he says, looking glum.

“Oh, Si,” Penny says looking worried.

“But maybe this isn’t bad. If I can talk to you without speaking out loud, I won’t accidentally cast anything anymore.”

“Simon. I told you I can’t think with you in my head. And I can’t talk for you all the time,” I say out loud.

“But this was probably my fault, and who knows what else I could accidentally do.”

“We shouldn’t jump to conclusions,” I tell him.

“Yeah. We shouldn't,” he thinks, giving me a look.

So he did hear my vampire theory.

“Baz is right. We should try to rule out the other possibilities before we jump to that,” Bunce says.

“But,” she continues, “we should add it to the list. Any other ideas?”

I’m about to say it could involve my vampirism when I hear, “don’t.”

We should consider it.

“We can consider it when the other stuff doesn’t pan out.”

Okay.

“No, that’s it,” I say.

“Okay. We should start trying to rule things out. I think the easiest one will be a curse. We have to make a curse test. We just need a ravens feather, a spriggan flower, raw milk, and tears of a virgin. That should be easy enough, right?”

When I hear “tears of a virgin,” I look at Simon wonder if he’s a virgin. We never talked about that. After a moment I realize he’s giving me a weird look, then I hear, “is he not a virgin? ”

Bunce mistakes our awkward looks for something else and says, ”For heaven's snakes, you two! It hasn’t even been a week!” (Not angrily. Just judgmentally.)(It’s not like she’s offering her own tears.)

Simon and I both start to correct her, but she raises her hands and says, “I don’t want to know.”

There’s an awkward silence, then I say, “Let’s also do what needs to be done for the nature spirits tonight. I’d like this to be over with before tomorrow. It’ll be a nightmare to have Simon in my head during class.”

“Alright. While we’re getting ingredients for the curse test, we might as well get what we need for the nature spirits. It should be easy as well,” she says and picks up a book called Exotic Creatures and How to Spot Them.

She reads out loud: “The Taphualae are nature spirits known to protect dryads and other magical creatures… They can play tricks on the psyche of a victim… To ward them away… Stevie Nicks and Gracie Slick… You’re supposed to bathe in fresh goat’s milk and aspects of nature.”

“Aspects of nature?” Simon asks.

“I think it means like twigs and flowers found in the Wavering Wood,” she tells him.

“How are we supposed to get enough goat’s milk to fill the bath?” Simon asks.

“I think it can be mixed with water,” I say.

Bunce nods. 

SIMON

They both left to gather the ingredients. I’m supposed to just lay here and do nothing. I feel better now though.

I did my best to explain to Baz how to milk a goat before they left. I hope he doesn’t hurt it.

I lay in bed for about twenty minutes before I get too bored and fish out The Captive Prince. I lay back on my bed with it and start reading where I left off.

“ ‘Trust you?' said Damen. 'You flayed the skin from my back. I have seen you do nothing but cheat and lie to every person you've encountered. You use anything and anyone to further your own ends. You are the last person I would ever trust.' ”

“Simon, you’re supposed to be resting.”

I feel fine now. How’s milking the goat?

The “out” part of our thoughts fading in and out are becoming farther and fewer in between.

“The goatherd came out to help me.”

Oh! Tell Ebb I said hi!

“We’re supposed to be keeping our telepathy secret, Simon.”

Oh right.

Something smells good. What is that?

“There’s a plate of roast beef for you on the desk.”

I didn’t mean for him to hear that last bit.

I think thanks anyways.

I get up and pick up the plate. They didn’t bring me any silverware so I just eat it with my hands.

“Simon. I think you should know I really do hear most of your thoughts. I hear pretty much everything.”

Oh. Sorry. I’ll try to think more quietly.

“I didn’t mean to complain... I just wanted to warn you that you have no privacy.”

Oh... Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.

After I think that, I realize the irony of it, then I realize Baz can hear that, then I realize Baz can hear me realizing Baz can hear that.

I try to focus on the roast beef. I don’t think this is what I was smelling. But it doesn’t matter because I’m hungry and it’s roast beef.

Do you mind if I keep reading? I’m really bored.

“Go ahead. We’re almost done anyways.”

Thank you.

I pick back up where I left off reading. I try not to think anything extra. I try not to make mental notes or anything that could disturb Baz.

When Penny and Baz get back I almost throw the book across the room so I wont be seen with it, but then I remember the cover looks innocuous so I set it  on the nightstand.

I see Baz grin and stifle a laugh.

They set all the things on the desk.

“First things first,” Penny says, “let’s see if this is a curse.”

She picks up a bowl and puts some milk and a vial of clear liquid in it.

Where’d she get the tears?

“I have no idea.”

“Okay. One of you will have to bleed in it,” she says.

“Simon… I don’t know if this will work with vampire blood.”

“I’ll do it,” I say.

I get up, call for the sword of mages, and use it to nick my thumb pad, and let a drop fall in.

“Simon,” Baz thinks sounding panicked.

What?

“My sodding fangs popped out.”

What do you want me to do?

“Ask me to take out your plate.”

“Baz? Can you take out the plate?” I say aloud.

He takes it and leaves without saying anything.

“That couldn’t wait?” Penny asks.

“The smell was making me nauseous. It’s a concussion thing,” I explain.

“Nice save,” Baz thinks.

Thanks.

“Okay,” Penny says, turning her attention back to the mixture. She dips the raven feather and stirs the mixture with it, then picks up the spriggan flower.

It’s beautiful and slightly glows green at night. During the day it looks like a regular columbine flower.

She removes the raven feather from the bowl and uses it to drop some of the mixture onto the flower. The flower loses all color and turns white.

“What does that mean?” I ask.

“No curse. It would have turned black if there were.”

“Fuck,” Baz whinges in my head.

Isn’t that a good thing?

“No. It means we still don’t know what’s happening and now we have to take a bath in milk and twigs… Just make sure the blood is gone when I get back.”

I take bowl, feather and flower to the window and throw it into the moat.

“Do you ever use the rubbish bin?” Penny chides.

I shrug.

She seems to find that to be an acceptable answer.

“You two are ridiculous.”

“Alright,” Penny says. “Let’s prepare the bath.”

We go in and start filling the tub. (Luckily the shower is a bathtub combo.)

She begins running the water then puts in some twigs, a few stones, some dirt, and a few wild flowers. Then she pours in the goat’s milk and swishes the water around with her hand, mixing it all in. It’s kinda gross at first, but now that it’s filling with water, it’s mostly clear water and not so bad.

Baz comes in and looks at it and thinks, “It’s still pretty disgusting.”

“Okay,” Penny says. “You need to soak in it for at least twenty minutes. I’m going to leave you to it. Good luck and see you at breakfast.”

She leaves and Baz and I are left standing in front of the weird bath.

Do we have to be naked?

“Pants should be fine,” Baz says aloud.

We both slowly take off our clothes. Baz has already seen me in my pants about three times now, but I haven’t seen him in his. I’ve been studying like mad to get him out of his trousers while strip studying. It almost feels like cheating to see him in pants this way. Maybe I shouldn’t look.

Baz pauses right before he’s about to take off his trousers. I look away and he says, “You can look.”

I look.

He slowly unbuttons and unzips his trousers, then slides them off, revealing tight black boxer briefs which are a perfect contrast to his perfect milky white muscular thighs. I want to bite them. I’ve never wanted to bite a thigh before.

I look up and he’s smirking. The areshole can hear everything I’m thinking.

My instinct is to tell him to sod off and give him a shove, but I don’t think shoving is allowed anymore (even if there were no anathema). I’m still a bit unsure of what is and isn’t okay now.

Baz kicks aside his trousers, steps up to me, places a hand on the back of my neck and looks into my eyes.

“All the moles on your body are like constellations, and I’ve been desperately wanting to kiss them for years,” he thinks.

Then he kisses me. He pushes his tongue in my mouth and I feel all the tension in my body leave.

Just as I start to kiss back, he breaks the kiss and carefully steps into the tub, and holds his hands out to help me.

I take his hands and he says,  “Careful of the sticks and stones,” as I step in.

It’s nice and warm at least.

I lower myself into the tub and I end up sitting on a pointy stick. I lift up just a bit to push it aside.

When Baz lowers down, I have to bring my knees up to make room for him. When he sits, some of the water in the tub overflows. He doesn’t seem bothered. He stretches his legs out and crosses his ankles next to me.

He reaches over the tub to grab his wand and says, “Set alarm for twenty minutes,” and sets it back down. That spell is new. Ever since Amazon's Alexa came out, spells for timers work really well.

I sit with my knees up for a while then it starts to get uncomfortable.

“You can stretch your legs out,” he says.

I do and some more water spills out. There isn’t a whole lot of room in the tub. It’s meant for one person. I end up with my feet on Baz’s lap.

Is this okay?

Baz nods.

This is fairly comfortable now. I lean back and relax.

I wonder where Penny got those tears. I can’t help but imagine her making Trixie cry then taking them. Or even Marcus, then casting a memory wiping spell. I know it’s a real possibility.

She could have used mine. Or maybe even Baz’s.

I know he can hear me think this, but I don’t know the words to ask.

“Yes, my tears would have worked too,” Baz says.

I feel a sense of relief. It would have been fine if he wasn’t a virgin, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one.

Baz start rubbing my leg lazily. I lean back and close my eyes.

We sit there quietly for a while. Even with the sticks, this is pretty relaxing. I don’t know when the last time I took a bath was.

“I’m not looking forward to the smell when we get out,” Baz says eventually.

Can’t we just take a shower and spell everything clean?

“I think we’re supposed to sleep after soaking and washing off would defeat the purpose.”

Oh well.

“We’re sleeping in your bed tonight,” he says.

“We?”

“Yes,” he says.

“What changed your mind?”

“Whatever odd forces are at work here, I think you were right about me waking up before biting you being a good indicator that I wouldn’t.”

“But it still makes me nervous, ” he thinks. And I’m not sure if I was meant to hear that.

A magical chime goes off, letting us know the twenty minutes are over.

Chapter Text

BAZ

I’m back to sitting with Dev and Neil at breakfast. I sip my tea and try not to look. But I do look because I’m a constant disappointment to myself.

Simon is at his usual table with his arm around Agatha Wellbelove. They’re back together now. They all laugh at something, then Simon and Agatha kiss. It’s like a kick to the chest to see, no matter how many times I’ve seen it before.

When Agatha turns to look at me, I smirk at her. Getting under Simon’s skin is my consolation prize for not being able to get on top of it.

When Simon turns to see what she’s looking at and sees me, I sneer.

He doesn’t look angry though. He looks pained.

I feel a pang of guilt for making him look like that.

Wellbelove uses her hands to make Simon look at her, then she kisses him again.

SIMON

I’m kissing Agatha and it doesn’t feel right at all. I don’t want to be kissing her.

Well. I do. But it’s more a compulsion than actually wanting to.

Something’s not right. It’s hard to think clearly.

I break the kiss. It isn’t easy and not just because Agatha is refusing to back down. But whatever is happening is important.

I look back at Baz. He’s not sneering anymore. He’s just watching.

It feels like trying to breath in a vacuum when I do this, but I manage to yell, “Baz!” across the dining hall.

BAZ

I cock an eyebrow.

His girlfriend has her hands all over him and he’s calling my name?

“You’re dreaming!” he yells.

That doesn’t make any sense.

There’s a spell to see if you’re dreaming. I take out my wand and cast, “Reality check! "

The tune of Everybody Hurts by R.E.M plays in bells. If it’s not a dream, it’s supposed to be a monotone.

I look back at Simon and he appears to be being molested by Agatha. He’s kissing her back but it looks reluctant and it also looks like he’s trying to push her away.

I get up and run to him.

He’s trying to talk in between their kisses.

“Make,” he says and she pulls him into another kiss. “Her stop,” he finishes when he gets his mouth free again.

I physically pull her off of him.

“This is your dream, Baz. You’re controlling it,” he says, catching his breath.

Agatha is squirming in my hands. “Let me go, Basil!”

“She’s not real,” Simon says.

“Are you real?” I ask him.

“Yeah, I think so.”

I concentrate really hard on making everyone disappear. I close my eyes and focus really hard on it. The chatter in the dining all goes quiet, then…

If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me

I open my eyes and Simon jumps out of bed wearing only pajama bottoms. We’re in our room.

“It’s not my job to wake you up. Get an alarm clock you fucking numpty,” I say, not wanting to say it.

“I think we’re in my dream now. I feel… Free.”

“That makes… One of us,” I say, struggling to say it. It’s like I have to go against every natural instinct to say what I need to say.

I start  walking to the door.

“Fight it,” he tells me.

I try. Merlin, it’s like trying to hold your breath for a long time. Too long.

I manage to walk more slowly for a moment. But just as I feel like maybe I’m about to gain control, I lose it and quickly stride toward the door.

I open it, walk through and slam it behind me.

Now everything is pitch black. Not even I can see. Are my eye even open? I can’t tell.

I focus really hard on opening my eyes.

Then my eyes do open.

I’m in my room again, but it’s night. I look next to me and Simon’s sleeping. He looks so peaceful.

He jerks and wakes up looking wide eyed and panicked.

“Are you alright?” I ask him.

“Are we still dreaming?

I take out my wand and say, “Reality check! ”

B flat plays, sounding like a hearing test.

“No. This is real,” I tell him.

“So, it’s not nature spirits?”

“No,” I sigh.

“That’s a shame. I kinda wanted to meet them,” I hear Simon think to himself.

I roll my eyes.

“Get up,” I say.

“Why?” he asks.

“We’re going to take a shower. The goat’s milk is going sour.”

We’re still both only in our pants. It didn’t seem sensible to get clothes dirty.

I go in and turn on the shower and wait for it to get warm. Simon sleepily walks up next to me, rubbing his eyes.

When it’s warm enough we both step in, still in our pants. First I get under the stream. I use my body wash and scrub it all over me. I even put it in my hair. I’m too tired to bother with the shampoo and conditioner routine. I just need to get all the nature off me.

“Should I be helping him? ” Simon thinks to himself.

My breath catches when I hear that. Crowley, I desperately want to say yes. But I don’t think now is the right time to be fulfill that fantasy, so I just pretend I didn’t hear it.

When I’m done I move out of the stream and gently push Simon in front of it. He sleepily rubs himself. He’s doing an awful job. I hope he cleans himself more thoroughly usually.

I sigh, then put some body wash on my hands and start rubbing him with it. I’d rather be doing this for fun than necessity, but I will not have my boyfriend smelling like sour milk.

First I rub it all over his back, then I massage it into his hair. He lets out a quiet sigh that’s almost a moan. I try not to think about that. I grab him by the shoulders and spin him around and wash his chest, then his arms, and under his arms. I don’t think he’s ticklish at all.

Once it’s all rinsed off, I put on hand on the back of his head, lean in and give him a kiss. Then I reach behind him and turn the water off.

We step out and towel off.

“Let’s put on some fresh pants, yeah?” Simon asks.

I nod.

I go get a fresh pair out of my wardrobe, then go into the bathroom to change while he changes in the room.

When I come out I take the blankets and sheets off Simon’s bed and throw them out the door.

Simon gives me a puzzled look and I say, “It’s already starting to smell bad. We’ll wash it tomorrow.”

When I get in my bed, he hesitates.

“Won’t we just have more nightmares again?” he asks.

“Not all of our dreams have been nightmares,” I say.

“... I really don’t want to kiss Agatha again,” he says.

The thought makes me sneer out of habit.

“Well, we can’t stay awake forever. We’ll have to sleep eventually,” I say.

“Oh! I have an idea!” he says too loudly.

“Cast that nightmare spell,” he says.

“We have a tolerance to sleep spells,” I remind him.

“Just trust me.”

I get my wand out and he puts a hand on my arm, pushing in some of his magic. It feels too good. It feels so good it actually scares me. Is this how he feels all the time?

The only time we’ve done this (in this timeline) was when I was casting the thought spell on him and he nearly fainted. I didn’t want to risk doing it again so I haven’t brought it up since.

But he’s doing it now and it feels amazing. I feel so powerful.

“Cast it,” he reminds me.

"I'm going to cast a different sleep spell. It felt too intimate to cast in the past. Is that okay?" I ask.

He looks curious and shrugs. I take that as a yes.

“Sweet dreams! ”

He lets go, smiling and I try not to mourn the loss of his magic. At least he seems fine.

We shift around in the bed to get comfortable.

I end up being the little spoon again. His forehead is against the back of my neck and his arm is around me, keeping me warm.

As I drift to sleep I suddenly feel weightless.

I open my eyes and I’m underwater, surrounded by colorful corral and seaweed. The song Octopus’s Garden is playing, sounding slightly warped from the water.

I turn around and see Simon.

“Is this your dream or mine?” Simon asks.

“I’m not sure. But I feel compelled to kiss you,” I tell him.

“I do too,” he says.

“Should we try to resist?” I ask.

“Why?” he asks, pulling me closer by the hip.

I had a reason but now that I’m looking into his blue eyes, I’ve forgotten it.

I kiss him and he wraps his legs around my waist.

* * *

When I wake up, I’m on my back and Simon is half on top of me. His head his on my chest, his left leg is in between mine and I can feel his… Manhood against my thigh.

I swallow so loud I think I woke him up because he begins to sir. His hips slightly gyrate against me and I desperately try not to think about the fact that there's only a thin layer of fabric separating it from me.

He stops moving, still asleep.

I don’t think I can take this anymore. I look at the time and it’s late enough that I can use breakfast starting soon as an excuse for us to get up.

But I’m not sure if I want to get up. The weight of him on top of me feels so good.

He slowly thrusts against my thigh, and if it wasn’t for my vampirism, I think it would leave a bruise.

I hear him moan in my head. I think I’m hearing his dream.

For Crowley’s sake. I’m going to need him awake when he does this. It doesn’t sit well with me to let this go on while he’s sleeping.

“Simon,” I say softly and pet his head.

He slowly thrusts against my thigh and I hear the moan in my head again, and I nearly yell, “Simon!” 

He sleepily lifts his head and says, “Hmm? Are we awake now?”

Just to be sure, I pick up my wand from the nightstand and cast, “Reality check! ”

B flat plays. We both let out a small sigh of relief. 

SIMON

When we get to breakfast we tell Penny about the dreams. She looks pretty worried and Baz looks tense.

“I guess after class we have to start from scratch to figure out what it could be,” she said.

Baz sighs, and says, “We have to fix this before tomorrow. I have another football game. I can’t play with him in my head.”

“Well, let’s just do that spell to see what I said with magic accidentally again,” I say.

“Or we can admit I’m a vampire and I’m doing this somehow,” Baz thinks to me.

“That’s probably our best bet,” Penny admits. (To my idea.)

Baz sighs again and says, “He almost feinted when we did that. I don’t want to do that again unless we absolutely have to.”

“Alright. We can go to the library after class and see what else there is,” she says.

Baz is looking at me like I’m wasting his time. Maybe I am. If I told Penny Baz was a vampire, I know she wouldn’t tell anyone. It just seems like we should keep it as secret as possible for as long as possible.

“Just tell her,” Baz whines in my head.

No. Not yet.

* * *

Throughout all our classes, Baz has been ignoring me. He’s been passive aggressive. He hasn’t been holding my hand, and he helps me as little as possible. He seems distracted.

We’re in our last class now. Greek. 

BAZ

“I wonder if it’s about the vampire thing,” I hear Simon think.

I’ve been trying to ignore Simon’s thoughts all day, but of course it’s about the vampire thing. This is obviously my fault.

“We should at least see if I said something with magic first. Or maybe it’s something else. There’s more books in the library,” he continues thinking.

I’ve had to listen to his incessant chattering all day. I can’t think. I haven’t been able to follow a word of any of the lectures.

Shut up!

“Sorry. I’ll think more quietly,” he thinks to me.

“Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.”

I slam my bag on the table, in the middle of the lecture, shove my books in and storm out.

“Where  are you going?” I hear Simon yell after me. 

SIMON

Penny looks at me like I know what just happened, but I just shrug.

Where are you going?

Is he ignoring me or can he not hear me right now?

I get up to follow him, and Penny gets up too. We leave the classroom and the hallway is empty. Jammy bastard and his long legs.

“Where’d he go?” Penny asks.

Where’d you go?

“I don’t know…” I say.

“Did you two have a fight?” she asks.

I don’t answer.

I don’t even know the answer.

“Let’s go to your room,” Penny says. “We can read more and see if we can figure something else out. Maybe that’s what Baz is doing.”

“Yeah, alright,” I say.

As we walk to my room I keep trying to talk to Baz.

Baz?

Are you ignoring me or can you not hear me?

Baz?

Are you mad at me?

Maybe he just wants to be left alone…

When we get to the room he isn’t there. (And the bedding does smell pretty bad.)

I sit on Baz’s bed. I think the milk might have soaked through the bed because there’s a slight sour smell still.

Penny starts picking up and going through books we’ve already looked at. She flips through pages she’s already read.

Baz… I’m sorry.

I’ve had Baz angry at me a million times. But this time it’s different. This time it really hurts.

Shit. I’m starting to tear up.

“Si,” Penny says, noticing. “Is he saying something to you?”

I shake my head.

“Something had to have happened. What were you thinking before he left?” She asks.

“I was trying not to think,” I say.

“And before that?”

BAZ

“I’ve had Baz angry at me a million times. But this time it’s different. This time it really hurts,” I hear Simon think.

It feels like a steak to the heart.

I didn’t think I’d snap at him like that. Just after so many hours I just lost it.

Now I’ve ignored him and hurt him. I can’t face him after that. So I’m just going to stay in the catacombs forever now. I will live here, feed off vermin and only come out at night to raid the kitchen. Rumors will start and people will think I’m an urban legend.

I’m sitting against a lumpy wall of skulls that are digging into my back.

Before we left this morning I grabbed my iPod and headphones. I thought it could be used to drown him out if I need to. I turn up the volume. I can still hear him though.

“I was thinking about Baz wanting to tell you he’s a vampire.”

I’m not sure if he’s telling Bunce that, or thinking them to himself. I can pretty much piece together their conversations based on what I hear him think, but I’m trying not to.

“Thank Merlin, Penny doesn’t mind.”

So I guess he did tell her.

Does that mean he’s given up trying to protect me?

SIMON

“Well, I figured he was. But I didn’t consider it to be a possible cause of this problem. I don’t know how to rule it out though. There’s not very many books on vampires,” Penny says.

I should have known I’m too stupid and annoying for Baz to be with for long. If it weren’t for the thought sharing, we’d have gotten to this point eventually. The process just got sped along.

I’m not crying, but my eyes won’t stop watering. No matter how many times I rub them off, the tears come back.

Penny sits on the bed next to me and hugs me.

“He’ll come back when he’s ready,” she says. “You two spend every waking moment together. And sleeping moments. He just needs time to clear his head.”

He’ll never be able to clear his head with me in there.

He’s probably being flooded with all my pathetic thoughts right now.

That means he knows how I feel and still doesn’t care enough to come back.

Well, fuck him. Even if he was annoying me to death, I wouldn’t leave him alone if he felt like this.

Fuck you, Baz. Fuck. You.

Now I’m really crying. I wish Penny weren’t here to see this.

I think Penny can sense this and says, “I’m going to go to the library and see if I can find out anything on this. I’m sure Baz will be back soon… But if not, then we get to find out if time apart affects the symptoms at all.”

She gives me another hug then leaves. 

BAZ

“But, what if being apart is what fixes this? ” Simon thinks.

It probably will be. I should have known being with him was hopeless.

He deserves better anyways.

SIMON

Once she’s out the door, I’m sobbing.

I’m sad Baz can’t stand me. I’m furious Baz can’t stand me. I’m afraid he’ll come back. I’m afraid he won’t come back. I’m afraid that being apart is the only solution to this. I’m afraid that’s what Baz wants.

And I’m so frustrated that I have no idea if Baz is hearing this or not.

I need to break something.

I get up and kick the leg of his bed a few times. It eventually hurts my toe and I have to stop.

I think about rifling though his stuff to find something to break. But then I remember the remembrance paragon.

Even though it was in another timeline and doesn’t really count, I think breaking that was the worst thing I’ve ever done. Worse than killing the dragon.

I do what I did last time I felt this hopeless. I sit down on the floor by his wardrobe, get out the remembrance paragon, and cry. The magical warmth that emanates from it is comforting in the most painful way possible. It reminds me of what I’ve done wrong and what I’ve lost but it still feels good.

I close my eyes and just focus on the feeling of the gem.

I fall backwards and open my eyes. I’m in the Wavering Wood. Did I just teleport?

Oh no.

The air feels too hot and too dry. There’s this horrible sucking feeling. Like the life is being sucked out of you.

The Humdrum is here somewhere.

I get up and look around and I see Baz about fifteen feet away. He’s getting up and looking at me too with a confused look on his face.

Then I see it behind him. It’s me, but I’m eleven in a ratty old T-shirt and baggy jeans, holding that red ball.

“Baz! Run!” I yell.

Baz doesn’t move. I run to him.

I grab his arm and pull but he doesn’t budge.

“We have to run!” I say.

The Humdrum starts laughing in that infuriating way it did last time. Like a child that got started laughing and just can’t stop.

“Baz! We need to run!” I yell, tugging at him.

Blood and yellow liquid starts getting sucked out of our pours.

“Wait,” Baz says.

“We can’t fight it!” I yell.

Baz takes out his wand and says, “Reality check! ”

O Fortuna plays in bells, but it doesn't stop the dread. It doesn’t stop the feeling like our souls are being sucked dry.

I pull on Baz again, but he still refuses to go.

“Close your eyes, Simon,” he says and takes my hand.

It’s hard to fight the urge to run, but I do. I close my eyes.

“Do you feel the warmth in your hand?” he asks.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Focus on it,” he says.

It’s hard to think over the laughter, but I try.

I feel the heat radiating up my arm from my hand. I tighten my grip and feel the gem.

The dry sucking feeling fades, the air cools down and the laughter dies out.

“Open your eyes,” Baz says.

I open them and I’m back in the room, on the floor with the gem in my hand.

Baz?

“I’m on my way.”

BAZ

When I get back Simon is on the floor. His eyes are red and swollen. The sight devastates me.

I immediately go to him, fall on my knees and hug him tight. Surprisingly, he hugs back.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, over and over again, and run my fingers through his hair.

He doesn’t say anything back. He doesn’t think anything either. I think he’s emotionally exhausted. Or seeing The Humdrum put him in a state of shock.

The Humdrum was more horrifying than I imagined. Is it actually that terrifying or did his dream exaggerate it?

“It’s actually that terrifying,” he says.

I wonder if more of my thoughts slip out than he lets on.

I put the remembrance paragon back in the drawer then help Simon up. I guide Simon to the bed, and he seems to know what I’m doing and gets on it. He scoots over to give me space to get on, and I do. I spoon him, hugging him tightly.

I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to cast rest assured or sweet dreams . I’m so sorry I ignored you. I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused. I’m sorry, love.

I kiss the back of his neck.

“Promise you won’t ignore me like that again? ”

I swear it.

Chapter Text

BAZ

We decided that whatever is happening to us can wait a few hours. It desperately needs to be set right but more importantly, Simon and I need to remind each other that we’re in this together.

I honestly don’t know which one of us decided another shower together was the way to do that but Crowley, it’s a blessing. 

Steam fills the bathroom as we undress, maintaining eye contact. My breath almost catches when I see him slip off his pants. I still look into his eyes. I’m not sure if now is the time to fully take in that view. 

I do the same and his eyes don’t falter. I’m not exactly sure what page we’re on but it appears to be the same one. 

He steps in and I follow. 

He stands under the stream, tilts his head back and lets me shampoo his hair like I wanted to last time. He closes his eyes as my fingers run along his scalp, making soft noises.

I carefully rinse the shampoo out of his hair, being mindful of his eyes.

I’m about to pick up the conditioner, but he smells so good. It’s not the hair product. It’s something else. Something very Simon. 

I move my face to his neck and kiss it. I want more. I crave it. There’s a pull in me that's bringing me down. So I kiss down his neck, to his clavicle, then down his torso until I’m on my knees. 

I feel ravenous. 

I want more of him, but I’m not sure what I want to take. 

I look up at him and he smiles as water bounces off him, catching the light and glowing, like he’s some kind of god. Which, he could be as far as anyone knows. 

I smell it and realize what I want. 

Before I can move back and get away, the once beautiful water runs red with blood and smells exquisite. My fangs come out and I feel rapt as he’s covered with flowing ambrosia. 

I sink my teeth into his side. 

If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me

I jump out of bed and Simon is screaming as the music blares at a near deafening volume. He’s holding his side shouting, “ TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF! ” over and over. 

I dash across the room and crush the iPod in my hand. 

I almost stumble on my way back to him as I’m hit with a few strong sensations. The room is freezing cold, there is a strong smell of rot, there’s a painful twinge in my side and the scent of his blood. 

I quickly grab for my wand and cast, “ Reality check! ” 

To my horror, B flat plays. This is real.

I stare at Simon as blood seeps through his nightshirt. I fucking bit him. How could I be so fucking stupid? How could I do this? I knew better. 

WHAT HAVE I FUCKING DONE?

I can’t breathe.

Do I run? 

SIMON

“ No. I can’t run. I can’t leave him like this. I could never. ”

I groan and lift my shirt to see the damage. It looks like a small shark bite. 

“Baz, put your mouth against this.” 

He looks at me in horror and asks, “Are you mental?” 

“I don’t think your mouth is this big,” I tell him. 

He stares at it, looking like a vampire in the headlights. 

I have no doubts that your mouth is very capable, but unless you can dislocate your jaw like a snake… Wait, you can't, right?

“ No, ” he thinks back quietly. 

He points his wand at me and says, “ Get well soon! ” 

He sighs in relief as the punctures seal up and the sharper pain goes away. There’s still an ache and redness. I think it’s going to bruise. 

Baz frowns at me and says, “I really need to go to the catacombs,” and hurriedly begins getting dressed, not bothering to change in the bathroom. 

I just sit, trying to wrap my mind around what just happened. I shiver. Why is it so cold in here? The window is closed. And why does it smell like death? 

When Baz reaches the door he stops, looks at me and says, “I promise I’ll come back. I just really need to feed,” then leaves. 

“ Oh. Please, can you get rid of your nightshirt and anything else the blood may have gotten on? ” He thinks, sounding nervous.

Sure thing.

What the hell was that dream? 

I bring the blanket over me to hide from the cold and the smell for a while, just waiting to calm down.

My mind is still blank with shock, but I hear Baz freaking out still. Probably looking completely composed as he walks past people who are leaving the dining hall from breakfast. 

“ What the fuck was that? Was that his dream? It couldn’t have been. But I tried to get away, and I couldn’t... But it felt so good. I’m more monstrous than I even realized. ” 

He’s not a monster. That nature spirit that bit me is. 

I would tell him that, but he probably heard it anyway and I should give him as much space as I can.

After a while, I decide the blanket is doing nothing to keep me warm, so I gather some clothes to take a hot shower to get the blood off me. (I throw the nightshirt into the moat, not bothering to try to spell the blood out.)

I can hear Baz casting hunting spells as I wait for the water to heat up. 

When it finally does, I recall the dream and eye the water suspiciously, slightly worrying it will turn to blood. If that happens, I have no idea how to clean it before Baz gets back. 

It was just a dream , I remind myself, then get in. 

The hot water feels fantastic and I just let it run over me for a while to warm up. 

I shampoo and condition my hair because the body wash gave it a weird texture.

Then I pick up the bar of soap. It smells… Oddly good. And not like soap. I instinctively bring it up to my face to sniff it and I feel some sort of craving. I bite into it. 

I quickly take it out of my mouth and frantically try to get the taste out with the shower water. It didn’t taste at all how it smelled. It just tasted like soap. Which I know shouldn’t be surprising. 

What the hell was I thinking?

When I get the taste out, I glare at the soap then use it the way it was meant for and make sure to clean where the bite was . It’s still pretty tender. 

When I get out and towel off, I look at the bite mark in the mirror. There’s no broken skin, but there are red teeth marks that go all the way around. Not fang marks. And the whole area is beginning to turn purple. 

The mirror cracks, making me flinch. I glare at it and give it a two finger salute.

“Fuck you, nature spirit.”

* * * 

I quickly go down the stairs and head to the dining hall. I see Penny in the courtyard, probably on her way to the dining hall too, and call out to her.

She stops and I trot up to her. 

“Did something happen?” She asks, probably seeing some tell on my face. 

“It’s nature spirits. I guess the milky stick bath didn’t work.”

“How do you know?” She asks, but there’s a faint sound, like a whisper that’s distracting me. 

I look around, trying to figure out what that is. It sounds familiar and it’s getting louder. Penny is looking concerned as I look at people walking past us, trying to see if maybe someone is talking... Or chanting? 

Baz? Are you listening to music?

“ No. But I hear it too, ” he thinks. 

It gets clearer and I hear, “ So much that I wanna do. ” 

“Please tell me you hear it too,” I plead to Penelope.

“Hear what?” she asks as it gets even louder.

It’s the song. The song. It’s Abba!

Baz, what’s happening?

I hear him for not even a second before the song gets so loud it’s blaring, “ When I dream I'm alone with you, it's magic, ” and I cover my ears and double over.

I let myself fall to the ground and I can’t hear myself think over, “ You want me to leave it there. ”

I’m afraid I’m going to go insane but then it stops and all I hear is a strained strangled sound that I realize is coming from me. I look up and Penny and a few others are looking down at me. 

Penny gives me a hand up and I take it. 

“ Simon? Are you okay? ” Baz asks. 

I think so. I made a bit of a scene though.

“ Me too. ”

Penny leads me away from other people then squeezes my hand surprisingly hard and looks me in the eyes so I’ll pay attention to her and asks, “What happened?”

“The song. It played the song. Baz could hear it too.”

She has a look on her face that’s telling me she’s making mental lists of “what we know,” and “what we don’t know.” It only takes a few seconds before she says, “We need to talk to the dryads.” 

“Why?”

“They’re the ones being protected. Maybe they have clout with the spirits.”

“Okay,” I tell her, “but first let me get some scones.”

She rolls her eyes and pulls me by the arm toward the drawbridge. 

“Pen, they can wait five minutes,” I groan as we walk.

“So can scones.” 

“It’s ten minutes each way though. They might run out.”

“Stop whinging. There’s a creature that could literally attack you at any moment.”

“When has there ever not been?” 

She glares at me but keeps walking. 

“ She’s right. Go now. I’ll save you some scones, ” Baz tells me. 

You don’t want to come with us?

“ I don’t think the dryads are eager to talk to me. They glare at me when they see me hunt. ”

They glare at everyone. 

“ Do you want scones or not? ”

I do.

“ I didn’t hear a please or thank you. I don’t save scones for louts. ”

I huff in my head for his benefit then try not to pay attention as I continue to hear a hum of his thoughts not addressed to me. 

Penelope and I reach the outer edge of the forest and head in on a path. The wind always makes an eerie howling noise through the trees here that scares anyone from going in. But once you actually go in, it sounds like any forest. 

When we start following the path, the sound settles into its normal quietness other than the calm rustling of leaves and the faint sounds of Baz’s thoughts. I imagined his thoughts would sound sarcastic and agitated but he actually sounds pretty dramatic and sulky.

I stop thinking about that and focus on the path. We take a turn onto one that’s harder to see because it’s rarely used. It goes deeper into the woods where we’re more likely to run into a dryad. 

“You must leave,” a voice hisses from behind me.. 

I turn around and realize we walked past one as she comes out from behind a tree. She floats with her parasol in a way that always gives me the creeps. Even her mossy hair seems to defy gravity as it’s locks lift and curl slightly. Her gown flowing behind her, fluttering as if weightless. 

“Already? I haven’t even said anything yet,” I complain. 

“You’ve burnt up your good will here, magician.”

“Just let me explain,” I plead.

“Your words are dangerous and danger follows you wherever you go. Leave, ” she says sternly as she begins to float around us, making us turn slowly to watch her.

I’m about to ask what she means and she shushes me. I look at Penny and shrug. 

“If he’s ever done anything harmful to you, it wasn’t intentional. We just want him to be left alone. He’s sorry for whatever he may have done,” Penny says.

“‘Sorry’ does not stop the danger that follows. ‘Sorry’ does not stop the deadness inside him,” She hisses, fingers tightening around the parasol, making it creak.  

“How many times do I have to save this forest for you to like me?” I ask, starting to feel slightly dizzy from her circling. 

She stops to glare and says, “You set it on fire. ”

“You remember that?” I ask in confusion.

She nods and I ask, “Why didn’t you say anything when we talked to you?” 

“Why didn’t you ask?” 

“I didn’t know I should have asked.”

She glares at me again for a moment then says, “You must leave.”

“If you ask for the spirit to leave, Simon will stay out of the Wavering Woods for now on,” Penelope bargains. 

“I have no name to offer and the dead inside him will return here. Leave,” She says then floats away.

I go to follow her but she disappears behind a tree and is gone. 

I growl with frustration and kick a tree.

“ Fuck, ” I hear Baz clearly in my mind.

Baz?

“ It’s nothing. I’m just jumpy. ”

“What did any of that mean?” Penny asks, looking deep in thought.

“I dunno. I rarely know what they mean. Maybe English isn’t their first language.”

She gives a slight nod, probably being surprised that might actually be a possibility. 

“Even though she didn’t say much, she gave us a lot to think about. Let’s go see if there’s any scones left, make some lists and see if we can figure something out. 

BAZ

Right as I’m about to leave our room, I tell Simon, “I promise I’ll come back. I just really need to feed,” then quickly head down the stairs. 

After yesterday, I don’t want him thinking I’m abandoning him again. I just desperately need this hunger to go away. The smell of Simon’s blood did not help the situation.

Oh. Please, can you get rid of your nightshirt and anything else the blood may have gotten on?

“ Sure thing. ” 

I walk at a brisk pace to the catacombs, trying to ignore the scent of everyone leaving the dining hall. Acting casual while craving essentially cannibalism is second nature to me by now so no one notices me anymore than usual.

But, honestly. What the fuck was that? Was that his dream? It couldn’t have been. But I tried to get away, and I couldn’t... But it felt so good. I’m more monstrous than I even realized.

“ He’s not a monster. That nature spirit that bit me is, ” I hear Simon think to himself.

I try to calm myself down, hoping that will help keep him from hearing me and try to focus on droning out his thoughts. 

What he doesn’t seem to understand is that spirit may be the cause of this, but it’s using my urges, my grotesque desires to terrorize us.

That dream. That nightmare. It felt debauched and pure. 

I’ve always considered vampirism as an affliction. But it’s more than that. It’s in my blood and in my mind and in my saliva for fucks sake. It’s not something I have. It’s something I am. 

Snow says he knows I won't bite him. He doesn’t know how good it felt to sink my teeth into him.

He should know. But now isn’t the time to tell him. I don’t want him thinking this is going to be a repeat of yesterday. 

I try to quiet my mind as I keep walking. 

When I reach the entrance to the catacombs, where no one can see me, I rush in. I immediately start casting hunting spells. 

I swiftly delve deeper and continue the spells. I quickly catch one and drain it but I need a couple more before I’ll feel comfortable going back to Simon. 

I cast again and another rat comes right to me. I snap its neck but it smells odd. It smells outlandishly clean. I sniff it and I must be losing my mind because it smells like soap. 

I bite into it and it tastes fine. No trace of the odd scent anymore. 

Hell and horrors, everything feels wrong and I can’t explain it.  

I run up the steps and leave, heading to the dining hall to meet up with Simon. 

As I near other people my hand spasms. I look down at it and it’s giving the bird of it’s of volition. 

I look up to see what it’s pointed at and see Philippa looking wide eyed. 

I’m only able to say, “Wait- no!” as she glares and stomps off before I have a chance to explain. Not that I even have an explanation for it. 

Bloody fucking hell, I’ve never felt so out of control in my life. 

I’m finally nearing my way to the dining hall and I start hearing something. I look around, hoping someone in the distance is singing, because if they’re not… 

“ Baz? Are you listening to music? ” Simon asks.

No. But I hear it too . 

The sound becomes more focused and I hear, “ So much that I wanna do. ” 

Oh, fuck me. It’s Abba!

“Baz, what’s happening?” Simon asks, panicked. 

“ I, ” is all I can get out before the song gets so loud it’s blaring, “ When I dream I'm alone with you, it's magic!” I cover my ears and it doesn’t help. 

It’s almost impossible to think but I take out my wand and cast, “ Reality check!, ” as “ You want me to leave it there, ” continues. I can’t hear myself at all or tell if b flat played. 

I try it again and again, not caring if it’s a waste of magic. Then the sound abruptly stops and I realize I wasn’t even saying the spell aloud.

People are looking at me, probably wondering why I’m acting like a madman, waving my wand about like an orchestra conductor with no orchestra and with magic-knows-what kind of look on my face. 

I’m suddenly filled with dread and ask, “ Simon? Are you okay? ”

“I think so. I made a bit of a scene though,” he tells me.

Me too, I tell him, feeling relieved. 

I give everyone staring at me a bored look, as if what they had witnessed was so mundane that they should be embarrassed for even batting an eye. Some of them walk away and some look confused. I roll my eyes at the latter, straighten up and stride into the dining hall. 

My minions are waiting for me with a teacup reserved for me.

I hear Simon and Bunce arguing about the Wavering Wood and scones, so I tell him She’s right. Go now. I’ll save you some scones.

“You don’t want to come with us?” he asks.

I don’t think the dryads are eager to talk to me. They glare at me when they see me hunt.

Dev and Naill shift awkwardly, probably thinking I’m looking at them disapprovingly. 

“They glare at everyone,” Simon says.

Do you want scones or not?

“I do.”

I didn’t hear a please or thank you. I don’t save scones for louts.

I hear him huff and it takes some effort not to smile, knowing Dev and Naill are looking at me. I don’t need people getting more confirmation that I’ve become deranged. Dating Snow seemingly at random was the first nail in the coffin and I’ve lost count of nails now. 

I go and fix Simon a plate of scones and secure a butter dish before returning to sit next to the minions, attempting to ignore the drone of Simon’s thoughts. They stare at the scones as I pour myself tea. Either they’re fascinated that I might actually eat in front of them, or they know it’s for Simon and are thinking Crowley-knows-what about that fact. 

After a few moments go by and they realize I’m not going to eat one, Naill reaches for one and I slap his hand away. I’m tempted to tell him that only special minions get scones but my ruse that I’m whoring myself out to Snow in the name of spycraft is feeble enough as it is. I don’t need to make that lie more obvious than necessary. 

“Are those for..” Naill says tentatively and I raise an eyebrow. He finally asks, “Snow?”

For the last week I think they might have been too shocked to question any of this. I honestly have no idea if their surprise is because it’s The Mage’s Heir, or if it’s a boy. Or maybe even the fact that it’s anyone at all for that matter.

“Yes,” I say, then pretend this conversation has lost my interest already by sipping tea and staring blankly across the room. 

I see them look at each other in my peripheral vision and ignore it. They’re useless. Snow and Bunce spend their time going off on adventures and saving the school and one day The World of Mages, and what do Dev and Niall do? Spend their time making sure there’s a pot of tea waiting for me. 

I look down at the scones. Fuck . I’m Simon’s minion. 

I’m probably as intelligent as Bunce and I’m far more skilled than Snow. I’m not as powerful as Snow and I’m not confident my formal education can always compete with Bunce’s experience. I know I’m extraordinary in my own rite. But compared to them, I’m essentially useless. They’re warriors that’ve survived every battle they’ve faced. 

I nearly pissed myself when the chimera I was responsible for attacked me before Snow saved me. I was kidnapped by numpties for fucks sake. When it really comes down to it, I’m basically inept. I’m a decent tutor, I’m a skilled footballer, and I can play violin at a near professional level.

But I’ll never save the day. 

I’ll save scones for Simon. 

I sigh at this realization 

Dev clears his throat and says, “Maybe you should include us on some of the details of your plan with Snow?”

It’s pretty clear he doesn’t buy my story but he’s also not sure enough to call me out on it. 

“The less you’re privy to, the better,” I say flatly. 

“We could help. If I got close to Agatha-”

I kick his shin hard. 

Fuck. I don’t know why I did that. 

Dev looks at me like I’m deranged and I just snarl, “ Leave! ” 

“ Baz? ” Simon asks. 

It’s nothing. I’m just jumpy.

I wonder how much of that he heard.

SIMON

When I get to the dining hall, it’s empty aside from Baz and a plate of scones. 

“Thank Merlin!” I say loudly, unsure if the sight of Baz or the scones is what’s causing the feeling of warmth in my chest.

I sit next to him and kiss him on the cheek before devouring the scones. 

Baz must be as tired as I am. He looks like shit. 

“ Thanks. You look like shit too. ”

I’m sorry! You know what I mean.  

He nods and I try not to bang my head on the table. I’m already bad at filtering my words. How can I filter my thoughts? 

“ Don’t worry about it. I’m not taking any of it personally, ” He thinks to me.

The first thought that comes to my head is a snort of laughter, and he thinks, “ I heard that. ”

You expect me to believe that you won’t take things personally?

He rolls his eyes and thinks, “ I’ll do my best to handle our situation by trying to think objectively. ”

Penelope snaps her fingers at us and asks, “Are you even paying attention?”

“Snow’s not, but I assure you, I am,” he tells her. 

Liar.  

“ I can multitask. ” 

As Penny continues to explain everything the dryad said, I smell something familiar but strange. It takes a moment then it feels like my senses come into focus and I realize it’s roast beef! 

“I think they’ve been serving meals earlier than usual on days we have football matches,” Baz tells me aloud. 

I feel a strong hunger from my stomach despite having just eaten three scones. It reminds me that I don’t think Baz has eaten real food in some time. 

“ I’m fine, ” he thinks.

“Baz, take the rest of the scones to our room. I’m okay to wait for the roast beef to be served.” 

He sighs and agrees then asks Penny to write everything that was said to and by the dryad so he could look it over while he eats. Once she does, he thanks her and leaves.  

While I wait for the roast beef to be set out, I complain to Penny: “Ya’know. If she knew the day was looping and knew what caused it, she could have saved me a lot of time and trouble, not to mention her forest would have never caught fire.”

“You know how magical creatures are,” Penny says, “they don’t like magicians very much.” 

“Why is that?” I ask. 

She shrugs and suddenly I’m recalling the countless goblins I’ve killed, not to mention the dragon, the school’s former admissions policies, the fact that the Pitches used to eat fairies and Baz even has to hide his rat juice problem.

Mage’s are kinda fucked. 

Penny has her thinking face on so I ask, “If you’re making lists, wouldn’t it be better to do it on paper?” 

“If it’s not written vertically, like a chalkboard, it’s not worth doing.” 

“You can hold the paper up vertically.”

She rolls her eyes at me and I wonder if eye rolling is extremely common or if I just bring it out of people. 

I see the roast beef being set out so I just shrug and get up. I fix both of us plates, both overfilled so I can eat her leftovers. I also grab one fresh teacup because I don’t mind using Baz’s but I don’t think Penelope would be willing to drink out of Dev or Niall’s cups. 

When I sit back down, that strong hunger I was feeling has oddly subsided. Not that that’s going to stop me. 

After my mouth is already stuffed, I remember to pour myself some tea before I choke on hot beef. Again. 

Penny spells it hot for me without even looking at it. 

BAZ

Bless Snow. I’m more than capable of tolerating hunger but the scones gave me an energy boost and now I won’t be as distracted from hunger during the football match.

I’m sitting at my desk looking at the paper Bunce wrote for me. I read it a few times. 

At the bottom of the page, where the dryad says she doesn’t have a name, I find that odd. What would her name or lack thereof, have to do with anything? 

I pick up a pen from the top of my desk and bring it down to circle that part. 

SIMON

As soon as the teacup is filled, my arm twitches, bringing my hand up to me and spilling hot tea all over my crotch. 

“I think you spelled it too hot,” I tell Penny, eyes watering. 

BAZ

I set down my pen and look at my lap as a very distinct and strange warmth spreads across my loins.

SIMON

I quickly grab a napkin (not mine - dunno who’s) and furiously start trying to wipe the tea off my trousers so it doesn’t look like I pissed myself. Not again. 

BAZ

I watch in utter horror as I lose control of my right hand and it furiously starts rubbing at my trousers in an indecent way. I try to will it to stop but it’s moving completely of its own accord. And my body is unfortunately… Reacting.  

SIMON

Out of nowhere, I feel a build up of pressure. The good kind you get when you’re alone in the shower when you know Baz won’t be back from his violin lesson for another half hour. 

A moan escapes my lips and I immediately cover my mouth.

BAZ

I hit myself in the face then hear Simon ask, “ Baz! Are you wanking?! ” 

Of course not! Are you?!

“ I spilled tea on my lap. ”

… For fucks sake. 

I lay my head on the desk, resigning as the realization sets in. 

SIMON

Penny looks at me wide eyed with concern. 

I lay my head on the plate of roast beef, resigning as the realization sets in.

Chapter Text

SIMON

I feel weird and spaced out. It’s hard to think clearly. 

I feel like I’m waking up now though, so I try to focus. Before opening my eyes, I concentrate on what I’m physically feeling, like Baz had me do when we dreamt of The Humdrum. It’s cold. It’s cold all over. I start hearing hushed tones, whispers and quiet giggling. I try to ignore the sounds like I did with The Humdrum’s laughter, but even after several moments, it doesn’t fade out. 

I give up and open my eyes. 

I’m standing in a crowd on the side of the pitch. People are all around me, staring. 

I look down to see if maybe I stepped in something, and then I see it. 

My clothes are on the ground. Shoes, socks, trousers, shirt and blazer. It hits me like a train as I realize I’m not wearing anything other than pants. My cheeks heat up so much it burns. 

I panic at how many eyes are on me. 

This is more horrifying than any monster I’ve had to slay. I don’t have to continue to live on campus afterwards with the monsters. 

“I’m- I- I’m really- sorry!” I say, trying to get a sentence out. 

Another realization hits me like a train. This has happened before. During my first year, I used to dream of this happening every now and again. 

Thank magic, this isn’t real. It’s also a relief that this nightmare isn’t as bad as the others. 

I look around for Baz but I don’t see him. He was usually here, sneering at me when it happened. Maybe Baz isn’t asleep too. 

“ Simon, are you asleep? ” Baz asks in my head.

Yeah. You’re not?

“Reality check worked. How did you fall asleep? You were supposed to be on the pitch, not moving so I can try to play.”

Wait. I’m actually on the pitch? Where are you?

“ Where do you think? I’m in the locker room, changing. ”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 

I grab my trousers and put them on as fast as I can, nearly falling in the process. Then I hurriedly put on the shirt and try to grab everything else and run. I think I left a shoe behind. 

I run as fast as I can back to my room, barefooted. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“ Snow, why in Guinevere’s name are you chanting that? ”

In the locker room, you- and I- I- we both-

“ Crowley on a crosswalk, ” he thinks, finally realizing. “ Where are you, Simon? I’m coming to get you. ”

No, Baz. The match is important. We can’t stop living our lives every time problems come up. I’m going to stick with our plan of me not moving so I don’t make you move. But I’m going to do it in our room instead of where people can’t see me. In fact. I’m just never going to leave the room again. The devil himself won’t be able to make me leave.

I hear Baz sigh then think, “ At least find Bunce to spell everything squishy so you don’t break anything or hurt yourself if you start running around trying to kick a ball that’s not there. ” 

Speak of the witch, I run into her, almost knocking her over. I have to drop all my other clothes to grab her so she doesn’t fall over. 

“Don’t call her a witch. You know she finds those Harry Potter terms sexist. ” 

“Sorry!” I say letting her go once I’m sure she’s up right then pick up what I’ve dropped. 

“What’s going on? Where’s your other shoe?” She asks. 

“I’ll explain on the way,” I say, walking, and putting my shirt on. 

She follows and I tell her, “You need to spell the room squishy.” 

“The whole room?” She asks, confused. 

I start running, so I ask, Baz, what’s going on?

I stop and he says, “ I was running onto the pitch. Do you need me to stop? ”

Keep running. The faster I get to the room the better.  

I run all the way to Mummers House, then tell Baz to stop. 

He does, but thinks, “ This is a very inconvenient time. They’re all staring, waiting for me to get into position. ”

Be grateful you’re not in just pants!

I start going up the stairs and I can’t tell if I just heard him laugh or not. When I get to the top and get into our room, I let myself flop onto the bed and think, okay, Baz, do your thing.  

As Penny walks in looking winded, she says, “So, I have to spell everything-”

She stops talking, surveying the room. 

“How long has it been so cold and disgusting smelling in here?” She asks.

Somehow it’s even colder than it was. I can see Penelope's breath.  

“The stench has been getting worse since the stick bath with the milk. The cold, I only noticed this morning.”

She looks into the bathroom and gasps. “The mirror,” She says. 

“Happened this morning.”

“Show me your bite mark.”

I lift up my shirt for her to see and then looking beyond worried says, “This isn’t a nature spirit. It’s-”

BAZ

Once I’m in position, I get shoved over and there’s a sharp pain in my temple. I look around from the ground, not seeing anyone or anything nearby. 

The other players are looking at me, but I don’t move to get up yet. I don’t think my head connected with anything but it’s still very painful. I touch it and it stings, then I feel my hand get hit by something. 

I look at it and realize my hands are both on the ground, and I never actually lifted one.

Fuck.

I make an effort to go limp and ask: Snow, what’s happening?

Instead of a response, I feel like I got punched in the face causing me to groan in pain. I smell something coppery that reminds me of blood but without the delicious flavorful scents. 

Simon! Say something! 

I keep pleading to him, hoping he's okay. The pain that explodes in my knuckles tells me he’s fighting something. I don’t know if I’m more panicked, knowing there’s a fight or relieved he’s in a position to fight back. 

Officials are trotting toward me to see if I’m okay, but I can’t get up or wave them off. If Simon is in danger, moving could sabotage his movements.  

SIMON

Jake from State Farm is looming over me. 

Somehow his khakis are doing nothing to convince me that he’s not a threat to me. They don’t mask the murdery look on his face. 

After he appeared out of nowhere, he just started attacking me while singing Take a Chance On Me. He shoved me to the floor, causing my head to hit the desk on the way down, slapped my hand out of the way to punched me in the face. I was able to get a punch or two in, but I don’t think they hit him hard. He must be pulling his punches too though, because he hasn’t really hurt me yet. 

“ When you're feeling down, ” it continues as it descends upon me, sounding neither like Abba nor Jake. More like if Jake hit puberty a few more times and got strep throat. 

Behind him, I see Penny ready her ring. I wait for her to spell Jake away, but then she just sings with him. 

“ If you're all alone, when the pretty birds have flown, ” they harmonize. 

Jake from State Farm looks back at her and she shouts, “ Jinx! You owe me a Coke! ”

He growls at her, then she casts, “ Stand your ground! ” 

His feet sink into the floor and I scramble away from him before he can grab me or something.

We both run out the door and as we’re going down the seemingly endless stairs, I ask, “Why the fuck is Jake from State Farm attacking me?”

“Who?” She asks.

“That guy!” 

“That was a demon!” 

“What? How do you know?”  I ask. 

“Well, aside from the smell, the freezing temperature, broken mirror and Merlin knows what else you left out before, it appeared when I cast ‘Speak of a devil.’”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck. Do you have any idea how serious this is?” She asks.

“Honestly, not really.” 

She makes an irritated huff, then says, “It’s the cause of all your problems and that’s only scratching the surface of what it’s capable of. But it can’t do anything until it gets me a Coke. Contact Baz. We need to get to the dining call.”

I learned not to waste time questioning her in situations like this a long time ago, so I just think: Baz?

“ Simon! What happened? ” He asks, sounding alarmed. 

We need to get to the dining hall for some reason. Are you able to leave the game?

“ I think my reputation for being mad as a hatter has already sunk in, so this won’t make it worse. ”

What?

“ I’m walking. Is it giving you problems? ”

I’m fine. 

“ I’ve spent the last twenty minutes pretending to be a Raggedy Andy, limp on the field. To keep them from prodding me to check for nerve damage, I had to tell them I was fine and this happens all the time. I didn’t want you getting distracted by a prick- ”

I get distracted by pricks all the time.

“ What? ”

Uhh-

“ Umm. Anyways, I’ve now abruptly left the field. You said the dining hall? Why? ”

“Penelope, why the dining hall?” I ask. 

“We need to destroy all the Cokes at Watford,” She says.

I’m about to relay that to Baz, but he says, “ I heard. But I have a better idea. Meet me in the courtyard. ” 

PENELOPE

“You idjits can hold hands later. We need to be quick. The demon can escape at any moment.” (Micha’s American TV habits are influencing me as badly as Harry Potter does with Simon. I’m almost tempted to call magic hoodoo and pray to Misha Collins for help.)

They’re staring at each other, hand in hand, thinking Morgana-knows-what to each other. 

They were nearly insufferable when they were enemies, then they were insufferable when they were dating. Now they’re… What’s beyond insufferable? Egregious?

“Aloud,” I remind them, putting my hands on my hips. 

Simon nods and Baz takes out his wand. 

Baz looks focused as he deliberately swishes his wand and Simon slurs, “ Release the evil! ” 

“What the fuck was that?” I ask, half out of frustration and half out of curiosity. 

“It’s a bit obscure, but that was a spell that should have turned all the Coke on campus into Pepsi,” Baz explains, as if that explains anything. 

“You didn’t say anything though. Everyone knows you can’t use complicated magic wordlessly,” I remind them, not even addressing Simon’s strange outburst yet. 

They give each other confused looks. I thought we at least figured things out once I realized it was a demon, but it seems like there’s a lot more to unwrap here. 

I tap my foot waiting for one to say something, then Baz asks, “I didn’t cast ‘Release the evil?’”

“Fuck a five feathered cockatrice! Simon cast it!” I start pacing as I think. “Best case scenario, he turned all of Britain's Coke into Pepsi. But he slurred it! It probably worked literally and released any number of bound evil things! Now the demon is free and the Coke is still-” 

“Bunce,” Baz says, derailing my train of thought. “It was supposed to be slurred and Snow doesn’t know the spell. Even if he’s the one who said it, I was the one behind the wheel.”

“Still! His magic is chaotic and hard to control.” 

“I’ve never had a problem with using his magic before.”

“Using… His?... Magic? ”

“Oh,” Simon says. “I might have left that part out.”

They look at each other again and I say, “ Talk. Aloud. Now. ”

SIMON

After Baz explained everything to her, she got excited and wanted me to try giving her some of my magic. 

“He’s not a human battery,” Baz tells her. 

“You didn’t seem to have a problem using it.” 

“Those were extreme situations. We can’t do this whenever. Imagine if The Mage found out,” Baz says. 

“What would be so wrong with that?” I ask. 

“You’re right,” Penny says to Baz, ignoring me, then goes into thinking mode, probably trying to plot our next move. After a moment she says, “We need to learn its name.”

“Why?” I ask. 

“It’s the only way to control a demon.” 

“Why do you know that?”

“First,” Baz says, “We need to get you shoes and a jumper or something. You can’t keep running around like this.” 

“I’m not going back to that room.”

He rolls his eyes and I feel mine involuntarily do the same.

“Come on,” he says. “Just follow me.”

Baz leads us back to Mummers House which has me on edge. I don’t know if Jake is still up there or if he’s already hunting for Coke. 

But Baz leads us through a side door. It goes down a hall on the ground floor. I’ve been here a couple times to hang out with Rhys but that was a long time ago. 

Baz knocks on a door and someone shouts, “Go the fuck away,” from inside.

Baz yells, “Put your bloody trousers on! We’re coming in either way!” 

“Fucking hell,” is yelled back. 

Baz opens the door and Dev yells, “What the fuck!” as he turns away from us to finish buttoning his trousers. 

I get nervous because I’m realizing I have no idea how serious Baz is about telling them our relationship is a plot. He must be nervous too because he looks like he’s gone ridged. 

“We need shoes.” Baz says. 

“What’s wrong with your shoes?” 

“They’re not for me. They’re for him,” he says, and nods toward me. “You know, the usual Snow drama. Evil entities afoot.” 

“Evil entities stole your shoes?” Dev asks, looking at me unamused.

“Just give him some shoes,” Baz says, sounding bored and slightly annoyed. 

Dev falls back onto his bed, putting a leg under the other and his hands behind his head, looking comfortable. “Closet.” 

I open the door and pick out a pair of trainers. 

Socks?

Baz gets me some and I sit on the other bed and put them on as Baz watches. It’s difficult to look away from him because he’s still in his stupid sexy football kit and for a moment I’m worried he’s going to make fun of me for struggling to tie my shoes. But once they’re on, Baz hands me a jumper and points a wand at me, making me flinch, then says, “ Get well soon! ”

“I wasn’t hurt,” I say. 

“Well, my head was throbbing and I didn’t hit it on anything,” he tells me. 

“You’re feeling his pain?” Penny asks and slaps my arm. 

“Oww,” Baz says calmly. 

BAZ

There’s no bathroom in Dev’s room. Only ours. So we have to go to the shared toilets. 

We had to dab at our noses in tandem because every time he tried, I’d just smack myself in the face.

Once that’s taken care of we go back to the room where Dev and Bunce seem to be glowering at her. No doubt he’s said something unnecessarily crude. I wouldn’t have brought them here if I had other options, but I don’t have an extensive list of friends and even if I did, everyone is at the match. 

I sit on Dev’s bed and Simon sits on Gareth’s. 

“Now that everyone has shoes, are we ready to talk about why a demon is attacking Simon?” Bunce asks, standing with her hands on her hips.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Simon asks. 

All of us stare at him, and he shrugs and says, “It’s The Humdrum, yeah?” 

Dev snorts, and I look at him completely unamused and ask, “What?” 

“You think The Humdrum took your shoes? Did it eat your homework too?” Dev asks. 

“You don’t know a damn thing about The Humdrum,” I snarl at him. I may not have seen it in person, but I saw it in that dream. That nightmare. The thing that has come to end us all, if prophecies are to be believed. 

“I know it sends deadly creatures. The only one who wants to undress Snow is you,” Dev says, probably understandably still angry about being kicked earlier. 

“Whatever it is, it is deadly. Whatever it is, it’s been fucking with us for a week.”

Dev sighs and says, “It’s probably just an imp.”

“What makes you think that?” 

“Niall might have mentioned Marcus having some sort of revenge plan involving an imp.”

“ Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? ”

After a moment I realized I’m not the one who shouted that. Simon did. 

“Why would I tell you?” Dev asks Simon. 

I involuntarily rake my fingers through my hair and frown at Simon. 

“Dev,” I say, making sure my words are coming out of my mouth, “why would you keep something like this from me?” 

“Oh, come on. You spent years making us listen to your whining about Snow just for us to learn it was really pining all along, then you start dating him and tell us it’s some sort of reconnaissance mission. How daft do you think we are?” 

“So you’ve been working with Marcus for revenge now?” I ask, raising my voice.

“Honestly, Baz. You’ve been a total dick. But I don’t give a merwolf’s cloaca about any of that anymore. You don’t complain about Snow now and this means Agatha isn’t getting back together with him, so this has all worked out for me.

I growl the growl Simon is trying to growl and Simon sighs the sigh I’m trying to sigh. 

I want to put my face in my palm but I don’t want to accidentally cause Simon to smack himself in the face.

“Well, this would explain Marcus’ threat from the day he attacked Simon,” Bunce says. “But that definitely wasn’t an imp. Imps don’t cause psychological torment. Does Marcus even know demonology?”

Dev gives a small laugh and says, “Definitely not. That’s why I didn’t take it seriously.”

“You know he has a creepy older brother who was into occult magic, right?” I remind him. 

“Yeah, but they don’t get along,” Dev says, as if that would stop a sibling from screwing another over. 

“Okay, so Marcus was definitely given some sort of summoning ritual. What’s our next move?”

“We get the name of the demon from him and try to banish it,” Bunce says. 

SIMON

Baz and Penny threw a snit when I tried to cast alohomora on Marcus’ door. Said something about it having the potential to explode like accio does.

I guess it was a good thing the words came out of Baz’s mouth and he wasn’t holding a wand so nothing happened. 

So I ended up using my shoulder to bust the door open, then Baz spelled my shoulder better. It didn’t hurt me but he said it made his shoulder hurt. 

As soon as we got in we saw the weird circular symbol burnt into the carpet.

I was going to search for clues, but then Baz said, “Stop. You might find something cursed.”

“Like actually cursed?”

“No. I mean like, dirty magazines with pages stuck together.” 

I don’t know what kind of grime would make pages stick together or how a magazine would even get dirty to begin with, but I took his word for it and sat on a bed.

Baz sat next to me and Penelope sat in a desk chair. 

“How much longer until the match is over?” I ask, interrupting the conversation about spells that could banish the demon. 

“Any time now,” Baz says, not bothering to check the time. 

“What if the demon finds a Coke before Marcus gets here?” 

“I don’t know,” Penny says, “... You might have to fight it again.” 

“I don’t think I can. When I move, this happens,” I say and lightly slap myself in the face. My hands don’t actually move, but Baz hits himself in the face. 

I laugh as he glares at me, but then I involuntarily flick myself in the nose. Then I laugh more because Baz says, “oww,” and his eyes start watering. 

“If we can’t banish the demon, can Snow just go off on it?” Baz asks Penny. “This is utterly ridiculous.” 

“Probably. But it’s not like he can control it. Someone could get hurt before he does,” Penny says, then adds, “Wait! If you could cast using him, maybe you could go off for him.”

“I couldn’t even begin to guess how to do that. It’s not like there’s a science to ‘going off.’” 

Marcus comes in and I move to shove him against the door. 

Except I don’t move and Baz walks into the wall causing my face to erupt with pain.

Marcus looks bewildered, then sees Penelope pointing her ring at him and he swallows. 

“We know,” she says. 

I stand and turn to face Marcus and it seems to cause Baz to do the same.

“Good for you. Now get the fuck out before I have you expelled for being in the boys dorm,” Marcus says. 

“Leave this room and I’ll break your spine,” she tells him. 

He sneers and says, “Like you could.”

“You haven’t heard the phrase ‘bend over backwards?’”

“You wouldn’t,” he says, staring her down. 

“I dunno about that, mate. She can be scary if she wants to be,” I warn him. 

“Do your worst,” he says.

“ Take a knee! ” Penny casts, causing him to kneel. 

“This is your worst?” he asks. 

“Please stop provoking her,” I tell him. 

“ Hold still, this is going to hurt! ” she casts.

I’m honestly not sure if that spell is even legal. It temporarily paralyzes people and makes them more sensitive to pain.

“What’s the demon’s name?” she asks. 

He says nothing, so she punches him in the face, putting her weight into it, causing him to yelp. 

“Crowley, Bunce,” Baz says, looking half shocked and half amused. 

I’m half horrified and half proud. I taught her how to punch like that.

His lip bleeds. It makes me think of fruit punch. 

She shrugs at us, then asks Marcus, “What is the demon’s name?” again.

“It’s not a demon! It’s an imp,” he says with tears sliding down his face.

“Your idiot brother gave you the wrong ritual. Possibly on purpose,” Baz says. 

“The name,” Penny says, raising her fist.

“I don’t know it! The ritual was simple. All I had to do was put a bunch of shit in a bowl and light it on fire to summon it, then offer it something for its services. My brother said if I used the spell to banish it, I wouldn’t have to pay up but the name of the thing and the spell was in Latin and written phonetically. I can’t read the fucking thing!”

“What did you offer it?” She asks.

“My first born,” he admits. 

“Well, I can’t let the demon take babies, so until we banish it, I’m gonna have to spell you.” She points her ring at him again and casts, “ Limp noodle! ” 

“No!” He practically screams. “Fuck! I’ll give you the instructions! Please, undo that!”

“Where is it?” She asks. 

“The drawer in the nightstand,” he says, tears still streaming. 

I reach into it, and surprisingly, my hands obey. I find a page of notebook paper. One side has a list of ingredient that include a fidget spinner and “the hair of a bald man,” and the other side says, “Stɪvənɪə‘ʧæl,” then under it, it says, “gəʊ tuː hɛl.” 

“Penny, can you read this?” 

She nods and I hand it to her. She looks it over and laughs. 

“This is English. The spell is just ‘go to hell.’”

I laugh but I think that’s coming from Baz.

“What about its name?” Baz asks. 

“I believe it’s Stevenear’chall.”

“It’s name is Steven?” I ask. “A demon named Steven? That’s like a vampire-”

“No, it’s not.” Baz says. “Again, Gampire isn’t a name.”

Baz huffs in my frustration. 

“Okay,” Penny says, “We have everything we need. This should be easy, but get ready for a fight.”

I try to clench my fists but see baz do it instead as I reach up my sleeve for a wand that’s not there. I don't even bother with The Sword of Mages. Even if I managed to summon it, I don’t want Baz to accidentally impale someone 

“ Stevenear’chall! ” Penny calls out.

The room dims as the lights flicker and the air chills cold enough for me to see my breath. 

“I want to leave!” Marcus cries. 

“ Speak of a devil and he shall appear! ” 

There’s a thundercrack and Jake from State Farm appears in the middle of the room. He’s holding a can of Coke, grimacing at it. He knows. He looks around at us, glairing, then looks at me and smiles like a shark. Like an actual shark. His mouth is grotesquely wide with rows and rows of pointed teeth.

Penelope points her ring at him and says, “ Go to hell! ” 

There’s a slight gust that gets stronger and stronger. Jake, or Steven I guess, starts laughing demonically. The sound reverberates off the walls. The air is swirling around the room, ripping posters off the walls and rattling furniture. 

“Why isn’t he leaving?” I shout over the noise. 

I try to back up but my legs don’t move. Then they do without trying. I think Baz is backing up for me. 

“Fuck! I’m sorry! Just get me out of here!” Marcus cries. 

“ Stevenear’chall! Go to hell! ” Penny yells again.

“Oh fuck!” Baz yells. “That wasn’t a banishing spell! Marcus’ brother was just telling him to go to hell!”

A chair gets blown by the wind and hits Marcus causing him to yelp again as he topples. 

Penny starts speaking in tongues: “ Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica! Ergo, omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te! ”

The floor under Steven turns bright glowing red. Chains lash out from beneath him and entangle onto him. 

Steven shouts, “NOOOO!” so loud the room shakes and he’s dragged down by the chains through the floor. 

The floor dims and returns to normal and the lights flicker to normal too. The air stills causing the posters to softly drift to the floor. Everything is quiet other than Marcus’ sobs.

“What was that spell?” Baz asks. 

“It’s from an American show. They use it to exorcise demons. I thought it was worth a shot.”

I raise my hand to look at it and it works. But I look over to Baz and he’s still mimicking my action. I rotate my hand to be sure. It’s like looking into a magicked funhouse mirror. 

“Why is this still happening?” I ask. 

“Hmm. I think it’s just the aftereffects from the demon. It should go away soon. Can you still hear each other’s thoughts?” Penny asks. 

Baz? Bazzz? BAZ?

Baz shakes his head at Penny causing me to shake mine. 

“Everything should be back to normal before tomorrow,” she says. “You two should get some rest.”

Baz and I both nod. I’m not sure which one of us started it. 

As we all leave, Marcus yells, “Don’t leave me like this!”

“You’ll be able to get up in a few hours. You’ll be fine,” Penny says, not even stopping. 

“What about my- my-”

“Your teeny weeny baby dick will be operational in a couple days,” she says and is out the door. 

When we get to the staircase, she asks us if we’ll be okay. We tell her yes and she tells us she wants to go and write everything that happened down because it’ll be good anecdotal evidence for if she ever wants to publish a paper about why Watford students should have access to Netflix. 

When we part, Baz and I go up the stairs in tandem so we don’t fall over. We make it to the room safely and take off most of our clothes in parallel and get into bed. Anything that needs to be dealt with can wait until tomorrow.

I almost remind him we need to cast sweet dreams, but the demon is gone. Jake from State Farm can’t hurt us anymore. 

Exhaustion quickly takes over and I fall asleep in Baz’s arms. 

Chapter Text

SIMON

I wake up in Baz’s arms. I’m cold and he’s so warm and smells so good, so I stay for a few minutes. There were no nightmares and our dreams weren’t shared. I feel so relaxed. But eventually I get up to use the bathroom. 

The sun stings my eyes so I squint as I walk. Once I make it to the toilet and make use of it, something feels off but I can’t place it. 

Someone who’s not Baz yells, “Snow!”

As soon as I’m done, I rush to the door and when I open it, I’m confronted with myself.

BAZ

“Crowley,” I say in Simon’s voice. 

“Who are you?” Snow snarls in my voice as he moves into a fighting stance. 

“I’m Baz, your boyfriend, you irredeemably dimwitted dolt.”

“Then why do you look like me?” He asks, still looking ready to fight. 

“Probably for the same reason you look like me.”

Confusion sweeps across his features and it’s not a good look for me. 

He steps back and looks into the mirror and is gobsmacked. He runs his fingers through what was once my black hair. He starts making strange faces at himself that are completely humiliating to see. I think he’s going for Blue Steel then trying to raise an eyebrow. 

Feeling curious, I move him aside so I can look at myself too. 

I never thought I’d look in the mirror and marvel at how gorgeous I looked, but Merlin and Morgana. I run my fingers over my face. It’s completely surreal. 

“Wait,” I say and rush to the bedside. I get my wand out of the nightstand drawer and cast, “ Reality check! ”

B-flat rings so loud we have to cover our ears. It keeps going, threatening to burst my eardrums. I’m about to cast silence is golden but then it stops and I stumble from the discombobulation.

That wasn’t supposed to happen, but it wasn’t musical. This isn’t a dream. But unless we’re in a reality that’s more real than usual, this doesn’t make sense…

I look down at the wand in my hand. My tawny, freckled hand. Then it dawns on me. I have Simon’s magic.

“How’d this happen?” Snow asks in my voice. “We banished the demon.”

I look up at him. I never realized how bloody tall I am. 

“I don’t think this is related to the demon. I believe this is unprecedented.”

“Penelope?” He asks.

I nod, and tell him to get dressed so I can use the bathroom.

“Uhh, Baz?”

“Hum?”

“Don’t look.”

I close the door, lock it then look. (The amount of times he’s invaded my privacy is staggering so I feel no remorse.)

I still have morning wood and it’s… Thick. 

It twitches and I gulp then take some deep breaths. My face is hot so I splash cold water on it. Is he always this bloody warm? 

I do what needs to be done. I don’t even know what to do with my curly hair, so I leave it messy as he would anyways. 

When I open the door, I see Simon wearing his trousers. And by that I mean, he’s in my body wearing trousers that are embarrassingly short on him. They don’t even reach his ankles. 

“For Chomsky's sake, Snow,” I sigh. 

“I didn’t want to put on your clothes without asking,” he huffs. 

“You’re choosing right now to be considerate for the first time in your life? Unbelievable.” 

He glowers at me and I wonder if that’s what I look like when I do it to him. It’s adequately menacing but it’s a bit difficult to feel threatened by yourself. It’s an odd feeling. 

“Put on my clothes,” I tell him as I go to his wardrobe and get out a school uniform.

I put on everything aside from the blazer because it’s uncomfortably warm. This can’t possibly be normal. But then again, it’d explain why he’s always opening the window at night. 

I take his wand, which will hopefully work better for me than my own now. I then roll up my sleeves and turn to Snow and see he’s put on my uniform. He’s still a mess and I will not allow him to leave this room looking like that. Even if my reputation is already in shambles at this point. 

I don’t think the tie looking sloppy on me looks as natural as it does on him, so I go fix it for him. He stands quietly, looking nervous. At least I think so. It’s hard to tell when his features aren’t his own. I hope I don’t naturally look nervous. I always assumed I had RBF and I was fine with that. 

If he is nervous, I don’t know what about. We’ll get this fixed like everything else that happens in his nightmare of an existence. 

Once I deem him presentable for the public, we head out the door and begin going down the stairs. It’s nice finally having control of my own movements even if it feels a bit awkward because of the different leg length. But it’s easy to maneuver without Simon’s stream of consciousness clouding my mind. This is the best I’ve felt since this all started. 

When we leave the building and join the small crowd of students heading to breakfast, Simon freezes. He hunches over, holding his hand to his face as if he’s going to vomit. 

He starts quivering, looking fearful and slurs, “ Baz. ”

“ Oh fuck. ”

Why the fuck didn’t I realize this was going to happen?

I frantically drag him away from all the people. I haven’t fed recently. It’s been too bloody long. He’s hungry. Of course he’s hungry.  

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I lead him to the wall that surrounds the castle so we can get to the drawbridge hopefully without running into anyone else. 

“ How do I make this to thtop? ” Simon slurs from my fangs.

“Just try not to breathe through your nose but keep your mouth closed enough to hide the fangs if we get near people.”

“ I’m tho hungry ,” he nearly whimpers.

There’s a deep ache in my heart. This is something I’ve feared him having to experience far too many times. 

“We’re going to hunt,” I tell him. 

We quickly walk along the wall and thankfully there’s not anyone around the drawbridge so, at a swift pace, we make it to the woods safely. 

When we’re deep enough in, I take out his was and cast, “ A doe, a deer! ”

I start to walk forward to cast again, but then one rushes right up to me. This usually takes a while to find one.

Simon immediately descends upon it, and I quickly warn him to snap it’s neck first. He does so expertly, which is a bit unsettling, then sinks his fangs into it. He’s feverishly sucking the blood from it and biting different spots trying to get more blood. 

Another deer quickly trots up to me and Simon gives up on the other one and kills this one too. He’s getting blood on his shirt, and I tell him to be careful but it’s like he can’t hear me. He continuously tries to suck it dry, getting blood all over himself. 

When it appears he’s completely drained both, he falls to the ground, panting and says, “I feel tho full but it dothen’t feel like enough.”

That was more than enough, but the truth is, the hunger is always there. Just enough to remind you what you are in case you forget. At least, for me. But I’ve had a long time to get used to it. 

He can’t be around people if he’s like this. He can’t even walk away from half a sandwich. 

“I’m going to try something. Something I’ve never tried on myself. Is that okay?” I ask.

He nods then his head snaps to the left and I realize another deer is heading our way. 

I point his wand at him before he can pounce on it and burst his own stomach and cast, “ Quench your thirst! ” 

He stills. Then he slumps as his whole body relaxes. 

“How do you feel?” I ask. 

“Better.”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that… You should have never… I should have... Are the fangs still out?” 

“No… Does this mean I could have been casting this on you the whole time?”

I look at his wand and consider this.

“I don’t know. When I cast with your magic, the spells are much more powerful than I expect, but they still do what they’re supposed to.. I’m not sure you would have the magical dexterity to have done it, but it’s hard to say.”

He nods, not looking too disappointed. He’s always believed his problems with magic are a result of his inability and not of his unprecedented supply of magic. It is a bit unruly but I think I can get the hang of it a bit better with some time.

… With his power, there’s so much I could do. There might not be anything I couldn’t do. The first time we kissed, I created an ocean in our bedroom without a wand. And I was drunk.  

I look at the wand in my hand again. I could do so much with this. The Mage. The Humdrum. Would they even be a problem for me?

“So, we find Penny now?” he asks. 

I look at him and noticed his front is covered in blood. Much worse than a sloppy tie. 

As he gets up, I approach him with the wand out. His eyebrows raise, probably wondering what I’m doing. 

I put as little magic into it as I can and cast, “ Out, out, damned spot! ”

The blood vanishes and the clothes might be a shade lighter, but other than that, it seems to have worked perfectly. 

“Whoa,” Simon says, impressed. “If I casted that on you, you’d be naked.” 

I give a small laugh at that and it’s a bit jarring hearing it in Simon’s voice. 

“Hm. Why were you able to refrain from biting me?” I ask, recalling how good he always smelled. 

“I dunno. Maybe it’s sorta the same way I shield people when I go off. It’s some sort of instinct.” 

Benevolent bastard. Is everything so easy for him? 

Luckily I’m much better at keeping myself composed, so going off shouldn’t be a problem for me. I’ve mastered internalizing rage. 

I brush all the grass and dirt off of him and lead him back towards the castle. It’s a much different feeling than I’m used to but I’m starving. It feels like my stomach is going to eat itself if I don’t give it something. I’m starting to understand his obsessive desperation for scones. 

As we cross the drawbridge, Simon says, “You never mentioned that deer taste like chicken bacon.”

“What the hell is chicken bacon?” I ask, knowing full well what he’s talking about. All blood has unique flavors that are hard to describe sometimes but somehow chicken bacon perfectly encapsulates it. 

“I dunno. But it was really good. Are rats that good?”

“Unfortunately, no. But hopefully we can finally get this fixed before you need to find out.” 

He sighs, sounding disappointed. Un-fucking-beleivable.

“You understand they’re diseased vermin, right?” I ask. 

“Yeah, but you don’t get sick from them. Wouldn’t I be fine since I’m in your body?”

“That’s not the point. It’s disgusting.”

He shrugs and says, “I guess. But it can’t be that bad if you do it.”

“It’s disgusting no matter who or what does it,” I say, not admitting that the taste isn’t the worst thing in the world. 

We walked the rest of the way to the dining hall. We got odd looks. At first I thought it was from my good posture looking abnormal in Simon’s body and him being slightly hunched in mine. But then I remembered that yesterday, Simon more or less streaked at the match and I went limp on the field. Not to mention all the other weird behaviors we’ve displayed over the last week. Even our one-eighty from enemies to boyfriends is still pretty recent. 

I can’t even imagine what people are thinking is going on with us. Perhaps snorting pixie dust. 

The dining hall is fairly crowded but Bunce is at our usual spot. There’s no scones saved. I suppose that makes me Simon’s only minion. 

I’m torn between going to her to explain what happened first or getting food first and letting Simon give the worst possible explanation to her, as he tends to do. 

I inwardly cringe at the idea of him, in my body, saying, “Penny! There were no nightmares but we were inside each other this morning! Also deer tastes like chicken bacon!” 

But I feel like my stomach will become so vacuumous it will create a black hole and swallow the Earth. Crowley knows if it’s possible with his magic. 

SIMON

Baz walks off to fix himself a plate. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him eat breakfast. He must have my appetite. 

I’m about to go to Penny, but then my shoulder is tapped and I turn and see Dev.

“Baz, can we talk?” he asks. 

“Uhh-” 

“I heard about what happened at the match last night. I just want you to tell you, I didn’t realize how far Marcus and Niall were going with all that.”

What would Baz say?

“Okay.” 

“And, when Niall found out I told you he was involved, he lost it. He said shit that even I wouldn’t repeat. Shit about both of us, so I don’t think he’ll be sitting with us anymore. I’m pretty sure he wants to kill me and is afraid you’ll kill him. If I wanted to kill you, it’d be a perfect hate triangle.”

I scan the room and see Niall and Marcus sitting together in the back. 

“You can sit with us,” I offer, realizing he has no one to sit with if Baz is with us. 

He perks up and says, “Perfect, because speaking of triangles, now that you and Snow are wanking each other’s wands, Agatha’s freed up.”

I’m about to shove him, when an ear splitting squeak screams, “ SIMON!! ” 

I turn my head and see Philippa run toward Baz. He takes a bite of a scone from his plate as she runs his way.

“There’s a geebler in the detention room!” She shouts at him. I notice there’s blood dripping from her hair. 

She appears to slow and sway as she reaches him and says, “I thought you should know,” before collapsing in front of him. 

Baz just stands there, eating his scone. Dick. So I run up to her and pick her up. She’s surprisingly light. I give her to Dev, who grunts slightly, and tell him to take her straight to the infirmary. 

His brows knit with confusion so I shout, “Go!”

I look to Baz and wordlessly ask him why the hell he’s just standing here.

Mouth full of scone, he says, “It’s just a geebler. Someone else can deal with it.” 

“Then why’d she run in here like that?” I ask him. 

“She’s always been a drama queen.” 

“No. You’re a drama queen. She’s just high pitched. Which, in case you forgot, was your fault.”

He sighs and says, “She was squeaky before that and you know it.” 

Rhys, who must have overheard this, gives him the most confused look ever. But I don’t have time to worry about that now.

“ We have to go ,” I tell him.

He sighs again before shoving a whole scone in his mouth and putting his plate on the nearest surface. 

We trot out of the dining hall, toward the building the detention room is in. As soon as we’re in sight of it, the massive geebler smashes through the stone wall then flinches at the hole it made and grows bigger. It keeps flinching at crumbling rubble, causing it to grow even bigger. They’re supposed to be the size of a chihuahua but have been known to grow up to the size of a doberman when scared. This one is the size of a goddamn mini cooper. 

It basically looks like a brown koala with large fox-like ears. Even though they’re distant cousins of drop bears, they’re not aggressive and nearly extinct. They started disappearing around the time the fairies did. I’ve never even seen one in person before but I’ve seen enough pictures to know this isn’t normal.

When it sees us running towards it, it flinches then gets even bigger, getting closer to the size of a Ford Focus. 

It jumps onto the side of the building, scrambling to get away. (Thank Merlin, Agatha isn’t here as part of a King Kong reenactment. She’s a good person, but she might break her wand to stab Baz and I with each half at that point.)

There’s people in there and the whole building is shaking from the geebler clawing its way up. Through the hole it made in the wall, I see people hiding under desks. A few familiar faces, but mostly first years by the look of it. A piece of the ceiling breaks and crashes right though a desk that thankfully didn’t have any people under it. 

I call for The Sword of Mages, but nothing happens. 

Fuck! I guess I’m not The Mage’s Heir anymore. 

“Baz! Call my sword!” I hastily demand.

“You can’t kill it! There’s so few geeblers left, they’re considered extinct!” 

“What are we supposed to do then?” I ask as another piece of ceiling falls, crushing another desk. 

A girl springs out from under one to try to get under the hole it made and escape, but a chunk of stone falls from it, narrowly missing her. She stumbles back. 

“You help them! I’ll handle the gebber,” Baz says.

“Help how?” 

“Hold up the wall over the hole to keep it from collapsing. If they ask how you did it later, I’ll say I spelled you strong. Now go!”

I worry for a moment about Baz using my magic in a high stress situation. When I’m calm, it’s not a problem, but if Baz gets agitated, he has no experience trying to control that. 

But I see more pieces of ceiling fall and crush another desk right next to one people are hiding under. Those desks are doing nothing to help them. 

I run to the hole in the wall and because Baz is so bloody tall I’m able to easily hold my hands to the top of it and make myself a pillar for the wall, keeping it from crumbling. 

“Everyone leave!” I yell. 

They look at each other in worry.

“ Now! ” I snarl in Baz’s voice.

They start running out from under the desks. 

BAZ

I’m a constant disappointment. To my friends, to my family, to myself. But I have no choice but to do this, and thank snakes people will think Snow is the degenerate for this and not me. 

I wait for the people on the bottom floor to evacuate, then I point Simon’s wand at the geebler, and gingerly sing, “ Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur! ” 

It’s working! The geebler stops climbing then after a moment It shrinks down a few sizes and begins sliding down the wall.

When it nears the ground, I continue with, “ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr! ”

It falls to the ground, presumably asleep, and shrinks to it’s normal size, roughly that of a potato. 

Simon is still holding up that wall. My body is strong, but not ‘hold up a building’ strong. I’m a vampire, not Spider-Man. 

This isn’t a spell, but with Simon’s magic it’s worth a shot. I cast “ Structurally sound! ” 

The building stops quivering and grumbling, and slowly Simon let's go and starts moving away. 

Looking around, I see teachers rushing to the building to evacuate it. Knowing Simon’s magic, the building could now withstand a nuclear bomb, but it’s probably better to play it safe. 

Simon goes to all the students that were inside, asking if they’re okay. They look nervous. Probably because they think he’s me. 

Miss. Possibelf rushes to me and says, “Simon! That was excellent spellwork!”

She puts a hand on my shoulder. I find it off putting but I don’t want her to think Simon is brushing her off. 

She continues with, “The Mage always said you were going to be a late bloomer. I didn’t doubt it, but it seems you’re finally understanding how to enunciate and emphasise properly. A song no less! Good work!” 

“Thank you,” I say, dipping my head slightly, not knowing how else to handle this conversation. 

She eyes me curiously then nods and heads off to help with the evacuation.

Ebb is here too. She’s picked up the unconscious geebler. Probably for the best. She knows how to care for animals and is very non threatening. 

I can’t help but wonder what it was doing here or why it got so big. I’m sure the staff will investigate it. 

It was fortunate this happened at such a strange time for Simon and I. If he were still in his body, he probably would have killed it. Even if I convinced him to push his magic into me like we’ve done before, so I could cast the song, I wouldn’t have been able to hold open the wall for the students to escape. 

My skill with words and speech with his magic, and his protective nature and combat training combined with my vampiric strength… It’s hard not to consider the benefits of this. 

I would worry about the torments Snow has to endure as a vampire, but the lunatic has no qualms about killing or biting into raw animals. And the fact that he’s able to act so casual around people is a testament to how well that spell worked. Somehow I feel that vampirism is more of a blessing to him than a curse at this point. 

He wouldn’t be able to graduate top of the class as me and I wouldn’t be able to even be willing to work for The Mage as him. 

The Mage doesn’t want Simon in my body. He only ever cared about Simon’s power. And he’d never be able to use me as a pawn the way he does with Simon. 

My family will never accept me like this, but being a queer vampire was pushing it anyways. 

Inheritance and perpetuating bloodlines was never something I cared for. All I ever wanted was Snow. And I have him. 

As we are now, our futures are not what they were supposed to be. But that already changed with our first kiss. 

We can’t live our lives as expected the way we are now, but we can do anything. I could do anything from live a normal modest life to toppling The Mage’s empire and making myself king. Snow can still save people just as he always has but with more strength and enhanced senses and without the constant fear of going off and hurting someone.  

And for all we know, this exchange of bodies could have been part of the prophecy all along.

SIMON

After making sure everyone with injuries has someone accompanying them to the infirmary, I look back to Baz.

He’s looking at me with a serene smile on my face. 

I smile back.

We did good today.