Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Previously…

The Doctor locked his eyes to hers, at the same time taking both of her hands in his and planting kisses on her fingers, one by one, no trace of lust in this action. I'm so glad you're with me, safe and unbroken, my beautiful Rose…

This time, Rose has only smiled.

Persistence

Chapter Four

Her smile was wiped off her face the next instant by none other than the Doctor. "This has turned out nicely, don't you think, Rose?"

"No," she was glad he was too stunned to try and keep her from getting away. How could he even think of it like this?

The Doctor gulped. "You know what, Rose Tyler? You are not the only one suffering here, so you could just do me a favour and keep quiet. You are not the one who's had to make sure Donna forgets everything about me and about our travels and-"

Rose gave him a sad smile, before getting off to her room. She knew the Doctor had to live through this devastating loss all on his own. Just in case he felt like talking about it, she's made two cups of tea.

He did come to find her, not long after. The tea was still steaming. "I am sorry, Rose. I didn't mean to frighten you with this outburst, it's just-"

"It's fine," she assured him. The hard look in her eyes, however-

The Time Lord was not used to be given such looks... Especially not by Rose.

"Are you still angry at me for-" He knew what he'd attempted to do had been wrong in so many ways, but Rose could not sulk at him for this forever! She was the one making him… And everybody around – happy! That was what his- his- that was what his persistent pink and yellow human had to be! Happy!

Rose spoke with an unnatural calmness, having put her cup aside, only barely noticing him having done the same. "With no tears left to cry I have no choice but to be angry. You have hurt me. Even after all this, after I have returned…"

To him, above all –

"You have chosen to- to give me away, as if I were a… a slave, or… or some useless thing!"

The Doctor understood she was right, guilt embracing him like an old friend. "Never again," he breathed into her fair hair before kissing her softly on the lips.

Rose backed away from where she was sitting, startled. "Is this only so much I deserve? A kiss from pity? Or is this a I am so sorry kind of-"

She was furious… And very, very sad. Not even the TARDIS could enlighten her mood. Even if she tried.

"I won't... I can't give you anything more, Rose... Would if I could- I'm sorry," he muttered, hardly able to meet her wide eyes, full of unmasked sorrow. There it was, the hard look in her eyes again.

She breathed in, succumbing to the inevitable. Only this time, her pain was deeper and stronger than ever. The Doctor did not need to know any of this, of course.

Rose cleared her throat, having made sure her mental barriers were truly up first.

"Sure thing. I'm sorry, too," the Londoner spoke drily, unable to control the sarcasm seeping through her words. "Sorry the only thing to make you say it is when it's too late." And even then, you hadn't… You should have, could have-

The Doctor panicked. "A second more, just a moment… And I would have! I swear it, Rose!"

Keep your oaths for someone else… She turned and left the room without a backward glance.

This time, she did not reply to his inquiries… Knew there was no way for him to find her, unless she chose otherwise. Or believed it to have been so… Until the Doctor did find her, a wide grin on his face. Obviously, Rose did not need to know just how much pleading and bribing it took to have convinced the TARDIS to lead him to her.

"You have never told me how you did happen to acquire the telepathic ability, Rose."

The girl was too surprised to even be mad at the ship. "Oh. I have acquired a great many things. The TARDIS... She's never really left me." Kept me going, even when I have begun doubting in everything.

He eyed her fearfully. Curiously. "You almost have, Doctor, but the old girl remained here with me, always," she placed her hand on her heart.

As you were in mine, the Doctor allowed his thoughts reach her mind, not really caring to hide anything from the pink and yellow girl. Not any more.

Rose pretended not to have caught that, even if she was trying her best not to grin at him.

"I have answered your question, Doctor. Answer mine. Can you promise me you won't run after every beautiful highborn lady there is?"

The Doctor shrugged, amused. "Still mad at me about Reinette?" He smirked.

She slapped him. Hard.

"Ow!" He whined, knowing full well this was well-deserved.

"Reinette was too good for you," Rose stated.

Having momentarily forgotten his reddened cheek, the Time Lord could not stop the biting words from escaping his lips. "Or are you, Rose Tyler?"

"I could never have abandoned the man I love, for one thing," she spoke with a shrug, her eyes void of emotion. The Doctor's breath froze in his throat. How much was she capable of now? How much didn't he know? How different was this woman from the unbelievable companion he has grown to love?" The Time Lord realised he didn't care. Rose Tyler was here, and nothing else mattered.

"You never have," he smiled. Rose, his Rose… She has returned to him, for him, the Doctor knew that now. The unexpected kind of a smile she sent him – he has not dared to expect any smile from her at this moment, if he was being honest – was challenging.

The Time Lord has had a lot of choices before him, Rose knew… But she was not going to stand in his way now, whatever the reason. She had no right.

The conflicting emotions in Rose's mind were hard to decipher – because of her conscious efforts to make them so, very likely – but the Doctor did not want to go back now. Did not want to stop, not with her. Not ever again. Only go forwards, wherever that was going to take them.

"Rose, I-"

She looked at him, the raw emotions on his face making her want to either slap him again or kiss him… Up until there was no way back.

Rose did none of that.

"Oh, Rose-"

"If you want to tell me something, please, go on," she muttered, having uselessly attempted to keep the uninvited and unwelcome uneasiness away from her mind.

"I can't… I simply cannot do this, I-"

Do this. Why did this ring a bell? Rose sighed, expecting for the worst. Of course he couldn't. "Do you want me to leave, is this it?"

"No. Anything but that."

She couldn't leave. Not in the forever she'd promised him, not-

The Doctor eyed her pleadingly. "Can't you just stop?" His words have turned out harsher than intended. "For a second?" He hurried to add, almost uncomfortable all of a sudden.

Rose nodded. She knew she could probably find all the most important answers in his mind… Even if merely considering this felt incredibly blasphemous. With no words said openly, no confessions made to ease the process, her hands were tied.

The Doctor had to think of it himself, Rose knew. But he has been so close, it was so easy to-

Show me, she encouraged him softly, not daring to as much as touch the Doctor.

Taking a breath, he approached her. Her words have apparently affected him greatly. 

"You know I'd never leave you for any high-born woman. Ever. For any woman, for anyone, Rose."

This was unexpected. She could barely utter something in response. "Ever?" She echoed, afraid to breathe.

The Doctor was now impossibly close to her, his words only heard in her mind now. You are too important for me, Rose. I have lost too much already. Could not risk losing you.

This was very beautiful. She was almost ready to give in. Almost. "You mean you can kiss whomever you choose, as long as I stay by your side? Is this how you see it, Doctor?" Rose had to force herself not to back away from his embrace.

Then, he gave up and placed his hands on her temples ever so softly.