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Chapter Text

jeongguk was having a hard time.

between the very public idol life he lived and the private life he wished to have… he was having a hard time. of course, he was grateful for the position he had in the entertainment industry, being one of the top idols of his time and having the long history to back him up despite his young age. having started young was both a blessing and a curse.

but at this point in his career, jeongguk was basically a professional at everything idol-related. from situational awareness to fan-flirting to scandal avoidance, he just about knew how to handle it all. he was loved by the general public, both in his homeland and abroad. every now and then, he would have an existential crisis about the weight of it all but for the most part, he handled pressure tremendously well; loved it even.

and although he was outwardly humble about his conquests in stardom, he was mature enough to admit that he was a selfish man through and through. he wanted to be the best in his field. he wanted to have the best in the word for himself, whether it were objects, songs, choreography, concepts, he wanted the best.

perhaps it was that part of his personality that made dating so hard. jeongguk was a very physical man, as if his built body and love for exercise didn’t already explain that about him. and he wasn’t the blushing virgin he used to be when he had debuted 12 years ago. he was 28 now. and this 28 year-old loved sex.

okay, that sounds kind of bad. but he didn’t mean it in a hedonist way. sex was just another means of exercise and self-expression to him, albeit a very personal and intimate one. and as much as he loved sex, he loved being in love more. he valued relationships. closeness. intimacy for the sake of intimacy. he sure didn’t shy away from one-night stands but jeongguk always preferred the comfort of having a partner.

he liked to think that he was a good lover. but again, he was having a hard time.

he wished he could balance his idol life and his private life in a better way but over time, he found that one would always overtake the other. and because he was so dedicated to his job and of course, his fans, he would drop everything for his career, even if it meant sacrificing his relationships. again: selfish. through and through.

it was a familiar pattern.

he had been dating choi sara for almost a year now, with their one-year anniversary being just a few weeks away. she was a korean-american model who mostly worked in the U.S with some months in the year dedicated to working in Korea. they had met at an afterparty for brands they were both ambassadors for and hit it off instantly.

it was hard finding time to get together but they had always made it work. he was the busier one out of the two of them but he still tried his best to make time for her when it was possible, whether it was flying out to wherever she was or  consistently keeping her updated whenever he was on the move. to be honest, for a couple that’s been dating for a year now, he feels like he still rarely knows her. he feels his interest waning. maybe that was also part of the problem.

again, he was having a very hard time.

after releasing a few mini albums throughout his career and featuring on a lot of other korean and international artists’ songs, it was finally time to release his first full-length album.

his agency had brought up the idea of creating this album a few months ago and he had been absolutely elated. but days after the proposal of this big project, he realized how big of a deal this was. he was already so busy and now he had to add working on this album to his ongoing daily list of things to do.

but his brain was absolutely empty. no thoughts. no concepts. no clear path as to what he wanted to do for this album.

every night, after whatever schedule he had, he would hole himself up in his studio, writing and writing and writing, only to trash everything he made at the end of the night. it didn’t help that because it was fashion week, he was expected to keep his weight at its possible lowest since he was a Calvin Klein ambassador and had multiple photoshoots and events to attend to. his brain felt like it was glitching out from exhaustion and lack of sustenance.

ding!

can you reply?

jeongguk cursed under his breath as he finally checked his notifications. there were some from jimin-hyung who was his manager, some from random acquaintances, and a lot from sara.

he checks the time stamps to see that his girlfriend has been texting him nonstop, the first few checking in on him and the recent ones whining about how he must not love her anymore because he was ignoring her. he rolls his eyes at the dramatics before reluctantly replying.

hey, sorry for disappearing on you. my company finally gave me the green light on my album and i’m trying to figure it all out. i’ve been stressed about everything going on. i’m really sorry, love.

immediately, sara replies.

god, jeongguk. I was fucking worried about you. at least send me a text before you go awol. you do know that i’m your girlfriend, right? i get this album is important for you but i expect you to at least think of me too.

jeongguk blinked. yes, he knew he was in the wrong, but he was expecting a more understanding reply from his girlfriend. he’d think his consistent efforts throughout their relationship would show his sincerity and perhaps the amount of stress he’s been is getting to him. he didn’t want to fight.

i know, sara. and i’m sorry, i really am. i’ve been insanely busy with fashion week and promotions for my features and this album. it’s been a lot. i promise i’ll make it up to you.

he was being honest. he was having a really hard time. he understood that it was also hard for sara to deal with the consequences of his lifestyle but he hoped that their feelings for each other were deep enough to get through hurdles like this.

whatever jeongguk. you’re not the only one who’s having a hard time here. just call me when you’re finally ready to come out of hibernation.

at that, jeongguk becomes livid. he didn’t think he deserved that kind of treatment from his partner. sara had the tendency to be a little bratty and sometimes spoiled, which were personality traits jeongguk didn’t mind. he often found it cute. but this was different. this was the first time he failed to communicate with her but was sincere in his explanation and apologies. why the fuck did he deserved to be berated like this?

swallowing down his anger, jeongguk decides to give her a call. he’d rather talk this out now than let negative feelings pile up from them over time.

his phone doesn’t even finish it’s first beep before sara is exclaiming, “jeon jeongguk!”

her tone is shrill and a little accusatory, making jeongguk jump a little and he almost drops his phone on his expensive equipment.

“jesus, sara, you scared me.” he sighs out.

“well you’ve been ignoring me for weeks! i get that you’re busy but i’ve been having a hard time too! you don’t think fashion week is dragging my ass too? i have like 50 runways to walk!”

jeongguk once again has the urge to roll his eyes. she always did love to exaggerate her workload. he recognized real game when he saw it, especially coming from the fact that he himself came from nothing when he entered the entertainment industry. but sara was a silver spoon. her parents were fashion directors for global brands and she stepped into the model world thanks to their connections. she wasn’t afraid to mention them at any given time and was aware of the opportunities that she had because of them. wherein jeongguk treated his career with both passion and desperation, sara was cruising through hers; not taking things too seriously and pulling away from projects if they proved to be too difficult. this was something he and sara did not get on too well about.

but jeongguk tried to be patient. he didn’t want this relationship to end like his previous ones. he took an apologetic tone and softly said, “i’m sorry, baby. what’s been going on? what’s stressing you out?” he knew that she wouldn’t be this bratty if something wasn’t going her way at work.

just as he expected, sara lets out an exasperated groan before she whines, “god, jeongguk, i’m damn near ripping my hair out everyday. there’s this new guy who just has about everyone in a chokehold and he’s in every fucking show. there were a couple I really wanted to get into and the final selections were between me and him and all of the brands chose him!”

he can hear the tone of disgust in her voice. jeongguk hums at her ranting. “maybe he has connections?” jeongguk tried. but his mind supplies, more connections than choi sara? unlikely.

“I honestly don’t know. I haven’t heard anything about his family so I’m not sure.”

“what’s his name?” jeongguk asks.

“you might have heard of him since he’s becoming a lot more popular in korea. his name’s kim taehyung.” she says with disgust.

jeongguk toys with the syllables of the name in his head. kim taehyung. it sure was a pretty name. and it did sound a bit familiar but he pulls blanks on a face. he honestly wasn’t that interested in the model world.

before he could saying anything, she keeps going. “and I don’t get it! sure, he’s pretty and all, but other than that, I don’t see anything attractive about him. he’s probably fucking the show coordinators just to be picked. fucking greedy bastard.”

and just like that, jeongguk’s anger comes back twofold. has she always been this much of a bitch? “choi sara, don’t talk about your fellow coworkers like that.”

“what the fuck, jeongguk? why are you taking his side? your girlfriend’s upset and you don’t even try to comfort her?”

jeongguk sighs and brings a hand to his forehead, rubbing at his temples a little bit to alleviate the headache he can feel forming. “it’s not that i’m taking his side, you know I’m always going to be on yours. but it’s not right to talk about someone like that.” he pauses to think about how he can make sara feel better about this whole situation. “look at it this way, don’t you have a lot of shows you’re going to be in? I bet there are some that he tried getting into but didn’t. and you did. just focus on doing well at the shows you’re in. the coordinators who didn’t choose you will regret it when they see photos of you on the runway.”

sara giggles at his words before agreeing, “you’re right, babe. i just got caught up in the heat of it all since i swear to god, everyone keeps talking about him.”

“see? that’s my girl.” jeongguk finally smiles for the first time, relieved that she didn’t sound mad anymore.

“yah, don’t think that I forgot about how you ignored me for so long, jeon jeongguk. you better make it up to me by coming to one of my shows.” he can hear the pout in her voice.

jeongguk gives a little wince at the request. his schedule was so stacked that as he mentally sorts through what the next few weeks look like for him, he can’t think of where to fit a visit in.

“are you in korea or america?” he asks as he looks through his calendar app on his phone. everyday is blocked out in red by the hour. when was he going to have free time?

“america. new york, actually. so you can visit when you come for the CK show.”

jeongguk blinks as he pulls up the day of the Calvin Klein show he promised to go to. lord behold, it was in new york. it was at the end of this week. it was currently sunday.

“okay, baby, I promise I’ll visit. but you know I can’t stay for long.”

“i know, jeongguk. i just can’t wait to finally see you again after so long. don’t be a dick and keep me updated. love you lots! see you in a few days!”

and the line cuts off.

jeongguk looks at his now dark phone. she hadn’t even asked him how he was. it makes him realize that throughout all of their phone calls and every time he visits her, he was always the one giving her his utmost attention, asking questions and exploring what her life was like when he wasn’t there. he doesn’t remember the last time they talked about him or his problems.

have they ever?

they had great sexual compatibility. that, he couldn’t lie about. but what else was there other than that?

jeongguk sits in silence just a bit longer. what did this relationship do for him other than add on to his stress? why was he trying so hard for this relationship to be different from the rest when the girl he chose seems to be too similar to those he eventually let go of anyway?

ding!

it’s from yoongi-hyung. a tiny spike of anxiety crosses him because although they were close friends, hyung was also his producer and he has absolutely nothing for him in terms of ideas for his album. but to his surprise, yoongi-hyung wasn’t texting him about music at all.

wow, lucky you. says the text. ever so mysterious, yoongi-hyung was. attached to it is a youtube link.

when he taps on it, the shorts video is still buffering as he reads the title, “who is rising star kim taehyung most excited to see in fashion week?”

oh. this was the man his girlfriend was just talking shit about. jeongguk bites his lip a little as he waits for the video to load. it had just been uploaded four hours ago but it already had hundreds of thousands of views.

and when the video loads, jeongguk’s brain sort of turns off. he damn near almost drops his phone from the shock of what he sees. 

to describe the man on his screen as beautiful was not nearly enough to justify what jeongguk was thinking. pretty? gorgeous? well, yes. all of the above. but it was more than that. this man was absolutely stunning. ethereal, even. it didn’t help that he was dressed in all white, looking like an actual angel from heaven above. behind him was a runway setting, so this must have been a behind-the-scenes interview. jeongguk doesn’t know (doesn’t care) but he keeps staring.

honey blonde hair, huge, sparkling eyes, tall nose bridge, high cheekbones, soft jawline, beautiful lips, moles that peppered his skin as if the stars themselves had kissed him in a previous life…  he was a sight. he watches the changes of expressions on kim taehyung’s face as the interviewer says something to him.

wait, they’re both speaking. oh, kim taehyung is blushing as he looks at the camera. his eyes go into crescents as he laughs about something the interviewer seems to have said. and then the video blacks out.

wait, what?

he needed to see that again.

he starts the video over and god, was this man pretty. no wonder he was a model. he realizes that he had been so distracted by kim taehyung’s beautiful face that he didn’t even register the interview that was happening.

“kim taehyung-ssi, you are looking stunning as always,” taehyung bashfully smiles and bows his head towards her. respectful, jeongguk’s mind supplies. “you’ve been mentioned by a lot of models and celebrities alike when asked about who they’re excited to see, but I want to flip the question on you and ask who you’re excited to see this season.”

the model seems to be heavily considering the question, long, slender fingers coming up to his chin to stroke an imaginary beard. the interviewer giggles at his action, which makes taehyung chuckle before saying, “gosh, I’m honestly so excited to see all of the sunbae-nims in every show.” he babbles a long list of names and jeongguk realizes he has a dazed smile on his own face as he watches and listens to the man on his screen go on and on about what seems to be every model ever. there’s a spark in the model’s eyes that make you believe what he’s saying; that he truly is genuinely excited to be in the presence of all these other people.

“i’m also excited about choi sara sunbae-nim, who was going to be my partner for chanel this season but it didn’t work out.” taehyung deflated as he mentioned the last part, but the interviewer must be so charmed by him and his enthusiasm to the question that she actually reaches out to pat his head now that he was pouting.

jeongguk understands the interviewer. there was an air of both innocence and authenticity to kim taehyung that was so captivating, even in a clip that was only a minute and a half long. but the mention of his girlfriend sobers him from his fascination for the man on the screen. what was he even doing? ogling another model.

and maybe he was fucked up considering he should be on his girlfriend’s side but watching the man’s personality glow in this video, he feels that sara could not have been more wrong about the way kim taehyung was rising to the top. he actually now feels a little uncomfortable with the fact that sara was saying such disgusting things about this man but anyways, it was none of his business.

wait, why did yoongi-hyung even send him this?

the video still has about 20 seconds left. after the interviewer pats taehyung’s head, she chastises him a little, “focus, kim taehyung-ssi! pick one celebrity you’re excited to see. just one.” but her soft smile gives her away.

kim taehyung ponders the question for a moment before shyly saying, “maybe…” and he looks down at the floor as his fingers nervously play with each other. and then he looks up at the interviewer before looking straight into the camera with a blush, “jeon jeongguk-ssi?”

and oh.

jeongguk actually does drop his phone this time. it doesn’t even register in his mind that the corner of his expensive ass limited edition keyboard has just been cracked. his mouth is agape and his eyes are wide as the scene replays in his head.

jeon jeongguk-ssi, he said.

that was him.

his name. out of this beautiful man’s mouth. excited to see him. him? was he sure?

in the span of however much time it was taking to finish watching this video, jeon jeongguk forgets that he is in fact a celebrity. the celebrity, actually. the biggest idol in k-pop industry who was at the forefront of expanding it and breaking into international pop.

he forgets his own place in this world because of how otherworldly kim taehyung seemed to be.

woah, woah, woah. he was getting way too in his head about this.

he hears a giggle from his phone before it cuts out and jeongguk is scrambling to pick up his phone from the floor and rewind to the part he missed.

he plays it again; the shy, almost bashful way kim taehyung says his name.

the interviewer reacts immediately with a squeal, “oh my goodness! yes! you two would look amazing together!” she gushes.

taehyung earnestly listens to her and his shy giggle feels like a strike to the heart. the video ends. jeongguk carefully places his phone down on his desk as he leans back on his chair and stares at his ceiling. both hands cup his nose and mouth area as he tries to process what he just watched.

for a few seconds, his brain actually feels empty.

then, he snaps back up on his chair, giving himself a little slap on the cheek because what the fuck? so what if this random model mentioned him in an interview? he’s seen numerous clips of models and celebrities alike mention him in other scenarios similar to this and he’s never reacted like this before. hell, even the first time sara told him she loved him didn’t incite this kind of reaction from him.

yeah, kim taehyung was pretty. (unbelievably so). so what? he had a girlfriend. this information was completely useless to him. if anything, it had jeongguk mentally groaning at the way sara might react to the interview if she saw it. he’s surprised she hasn’t already, seeing how the video was trending at #2 on YouTube. he can’t even imagine what the reaction was on twitter or instagram, where his fandom thrived the most.

he picks up his phone and texts yoongi-hyung.

and how do you expect me to react to this? he sends.

immediately, his hyung is calling him. jeongguk groans. didn’t the universe know that he could only take about zero to one phone call a day before losing all his social energy? despite his reluctance to, he answers.

“hi, hyung.”

“I bet you dropped your phone at one point when you watched the video, huh?” is the first thing yoongi-hyung says to him. jeongguk can hear the smug smile on his face.

he sputters and flushes at the accusation, “w-what the— i absolutely did not do tha—what the fuck, are you watching me somehow?” he warily looks up around his studio as if to find a hidden camera somewhere.

yoongi chuckles before saying, “you freeze when you see pretty people, jeongguk-ah, it’s the only time you ever lose control of yourself other than when you’re being competitive.”

jeongguk curses under his breath because his hyung knew him so well. “you know what, fuck off. he’s not that pretty.” a lie. the biggest lie. it feels like a cardinal sin when he says it but he must deny everything pertaining to his reaction to kim taehyung. maybe it would make it less real.

“that’s actual horse shit, but I’ll just take your word for it. maybe you’ll cross paths in New York in a couple weeks.” he can hear the smirk in yoongi’s voice and jeongguk is not liking the implication of all of this.

“hyung, you do realize that I’m in a relationship, right? choi sara. we’ve been together for almost a year now.”

“oh, still? I’m surprised.” and to make matters worse, jeongguk knows he’s not lying, he can hear the genuine surprise in his voice. there’s no teasing whatsoever.

“what the fuck? of course, we’re still together. what does that even mean?”

there’s a bit of silence before yoongi hums and says “you’re no good together. I thought you would break it off sooner.”

jeongguk blinks at that. he feels slightly affronted but another part of him is not at all angry at his hyung’s words. he did not even want to begin to try uncovering what this meant for him. he had way too much on his plate to go into even deeper shit like do a deep dive on his feelings.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that. anyways, don’t mention this guy again, okay? i’d really rather not cross paths with him at all.”

“that’s some crazy wishful thinking, jeon jeongguk. your girlfriend is a model. he’s a model. your paths will cross.”

and jeongguk knows this. but the less he thinks about kim taehyung, the better.

“oh, why is that?” and there’s that teasing lilt to yoongi’s voice again. fuck. did he say that out loud?

“sara doesn’t like him,” he said blankly. “she said that he probably slept with all the fashion directors to get his spot on each show or something. she was mad because she didn’t get into the ones she wanted.”

there’s a slight moment of silence again.

“listen, jeongguk-ah,” yoongi’s voice is slightly deeper and his tone is a lot more serious than the light teasing one he kept throughout this whole conversation. “if I hear that shit being spout in real life, especially from your silver spoon of a girlfriend, you might just have to look for a new producer and overall friend. i’m not tolerating any of that disrespectful shit.”

jeongguk knows he should defend his girlfriend. he knows that. but all he says is, “jesus christ, hyung, okay. who the fuck even is kim taehyung to you for you to threaten me about our friendship?”

“you know what? don’t worry about it. as you said, the less you think about him, the better, right? keep it that way. and try to keep his name out of your sweet, sweet girlfriend’s mouth.”

again, jeongguk knows he should probably defend his girlfriend but he complies to his hyung’s words immediately, “okay, hyung. i’m sorry.” he doesn’t even really know what he’s apologizing for, but kim taehyung seems to be important to yoongi somehow so he really doesn’t want to step on his toes.

yoongi sighs and his voice softens a lot when he tells him, “i know you haven’t been inspired lately. maybe do some self-reflection about the people and things around you that’s blocking your creativity. don’t box yourself in, okay, jeonggukie? and make sure to take care of yourself. bye.” then he hangs up.

as he stares at his now darkened phone, jeongguk is horrified to see that something wet has just fallen on it. oh god, he thought as he brought his fingers up to feel for his eyes. he was fucking crying.

“fuck, what the fuck am I even doing?” jeongguk laughs a little incredulously as tears keep falling from his eyes. 

don’t box yourself in.

fuck.

but he feels so—

he doesn’t even know.

he feels stuck. he feels rooted in place with no direction around him seeming like a good way to go. he feels overwhelmed by everything he needs to do; with everything he feels like he needs to accomplish. he feels lonely in this whole fight to keep himself from stagnating.

but he couldn’t afford to be fucking depressed. he needed to get shit done. he harshly wiped away his tears and turned his phone completely off. he put his headphones on and reached for his keyboard, pausing when he feels the big crack on the hard plastic.

jeon jeongguk-ssi. the bashful whisper plays in his mind. a small smile creeps its way on his face.

yes, he’s fucking jeon jeongguk. no writer’s block was going to stand in the way of this album’s completion. he had two days before he had event after event after event lined up on his schedule and a sane person would probably take a short vacation or do anything to avoid work, but absolutely not him. he was getting shit done.

except he got absolutely nothing done.

despite the fact that he holed himself up for those two days to work on writing something, anything, he once again scrapped all of his ideas because they were fucking awful. he only left his studio for proper hygiene upkeep and protein bars. he tried to ignore the way black spots would dot his vision when he got up too fast. one glance at the time after several hours of frustration told him that he did in fact have to go to sleep at some point tonight so that he can be some sort of rested by 4 AM the next day when he has to do his CK fitting.

by the time he gets in his bed, he’s exhausted. his body thanks him as he stretches under the covers. he mindlessly scrolls on his phone as he waits for sleep to take him.

ding!

it’s a text from sara.

did you see the kim taehyung interview that went viral? he’s obviously trying to get in your pants!

jeongguk rolls his eyes and throws his phone across his king-sized bed. god, he really didn’t want any drama with his girlfriend. he closes his eyes and takes a few relaxing breaths before reaching for his phone.

he pulls up naver and his thumbs hover over the keyboard for a few seconds. he really shouldn’t do this. he really, really shouldn’t. he won’t. he throws his phone again.

he waits a few minutes to see if he would fall asleep and of course, he does not. he growls when logic succumbs to curiosity in his head and he once again grabs his phone, pulling up naver and typing ‘kim taehyung’ onto it.

down the rabbit hole he goes.

every photo that pops up on kim taehyung’s engine search could probably be hung up in the louvre. for someone who appeared so sweet in the interview jeongguk watched a few days ago, he was a force to be reckoned with on the runway. photos and videos alike captured his air of grace and power. it seemed effortless for him to be up there as hundreds of cameras dissected every angle of his face and body, almost begging for a flaw. but there were none.

kim taehyung was the perfect model. able to portray concepts and invoke the designers’ desires on the very clothes he donned with ease. and from what jeongguk gathered, kim taehyung was unafraid of tackling on different styles, going from british elegance in one photoshoot then traditional korean gowns the next. from soft, pastel tones to harsh darker palettes. he was probably a designer’s dream.

it fascinated jeongguk how expressive his face was. but then again, this was a feature he immediately noticed in that interview.

he scrolled through some articles highlighting taehyung’s emergence in the modeling scene inspiring a lot of brands and a number of them utilizing him as their muse. choi sara was right. kim taehyung did seem to have a chokehold on everyone who met him. jeongguk’s eyes widen as he sees the brands that apparently coveted kim taehyung: chanel, celine, gucci, louis vuitton, yves saint laurent, and the list seems to go on forever. trust and believe that jeongguk was no stranger to the idea of brands vying for him, but even he, who was at the top in his field, had taken more than a few years to catch the attention of these international brands. which made jeongguk all the more curious.

where did this guy come from? perhaps he was a silver spoon like sara. interestingly enough, despite his doubts and disbelief at kim taehyung’s sudden rise to fame, not even once did he entertain the idea of the model being promiscuous to achieve all of this.

but as hard as he tries, jeongguk essentially ends up with no substantial information regarding his background. just the basic stuff.

kim taehyung was his real name. his birthday was december 30— oh. he was only 20. the profile he was looking at says that he made his model debut at 18 after being discovered in the background of a famous rapper’s music video. jeongguk’s eyes widen in disbelief because what the fuck? it was yoongi’s music video. so the two definitely have some sort of connection. but it wouldn’t make sense if they did know each other only for yoongi-hyung to bring him up to jeongguk now. hyung kept a very close circle and he tended to introduce jeongguk to those he got close to. he shakes his head to dispel the suspicions that creep in his mind. yoongi-hyung wouldn’t do any of this without good reason.

anyways. 20 years-old. there was an eight year difference between him and kim taehyung. it wasn’t a big gap by any means but still… a gap. he and sara were only one year apart with jeongguk being the younger one. he tended to go for older people. not that him going for anyone had to do with kim taehyung. it was just a thought.

jeongguk was certainly impressed though. kim taehyung was quite definitely a rising star. this much success in just two years was unheard of. he keeps scrolling. keeps looking. keeps being fascinated. he listens to the model’s short interviews and realizes the depth of the man—no, the boy’s voice. kim taehyung was just a boy. but his voice sure was that of a baritone. the contrast was mind boggling.

as he falls asleep to an interview of kim taehyung talking about his favorite jazz songs, jeongguk realizes that perhaps he had just opened pandora's box. 

Chapter Text

“jesus, jeongguk, you lost a lot of weight.”

the man in questions stands as still as he can as jung hoseok, dear friend and beloved stylist, takes his measurements one last time for the array of clothing Calvin Klein was going to have made for him for their show in New York.

he’s trying his hardest not to fall asleep as he stands for what feels like hours but has actually only been 20 minutes. he sleepily mumbles, “been stressed out. full-length album coming. maybe. i don’t know anymore.” he deeply yawns.

hoseok can’t help but ruffle the younger one’s head as he finds his sleepy self so cute and jeongguk just lets it happen. but hoseok feels bad for him, remembering the way that jeongguk always complained about how it was insane how his company still hasn’t let him make a full-length album and now that it was finally happening, the younger one seems to have lost all passion for it. but perhaps he couldn’t truly say that since this was jeon jeongguk he was talking about. he was nothing if not passionate when it came to his craft.

“inspiration will hit you out of nowhere, jeongguk. i bet you keep holing yourself in your studio to be ‘productive,’” hoseok dramatically makes air quotations as he says the word, “but you’re not actually getting anything done. I used to do the same, now I just let inspiration hit me organically.”

jeongguk has his eyes closed as he listens to his hyung multi-task giving him advice and noting his measurements. he knew it was all true. but not working on the album seemed counterintuitive to being productive so he couldn’t just do that.

“speaking of organic, you need to eat more.” hoseok lightly slaps his bicep to signify that he can move from his t-pose. “have a burger or five. with some fries and a chocolate milkshake. Klein wants you to be lean, not withering away.”

jeongguk peers closely at his face in the full body mirror in front of him. he angles his head side to side then backs up to look at the lines of his muscles. “is it that bad?” he didn’t think he was getting awfully thin.

hoseok softens as he sees the younger one essentially check himself out. god, he really needed to stop seeing this muscle bunny of a man as a baby but it was so hard to separate that lone, scared kid jeongguk used to be pre-debut to the strong man he is now. it was something their friend group had a hard time doing. “jeongguk-ah, you look great. objectively, you have the body of a greek god. Calvin Klein is going to be on their knees for you because the photo-opts are going to be so good. but as your friend, I worry about you.”

hoseok comes up behind him as jeongguk stares at him using the mirror. the older one once again ruffles his hair as he says, “you gotta take care of yourself or else you’re going to burn out. what would namjoon and jin-hyung say, huh? or yoongi-hyung?” he makes a point to poke jeongguk’s stomach every time he mentions a name, cringing a little at how hard the surface was. “what are you? a wall of muscle?” hoseok mumbles as he shakes his hand from the poking.

jeongguk chuckles before nodding and saying, “I got it, hyung. five burgers, fries, and a chocolate milkshake. I’ll eat that immediately once fashion week is over.”

“uh-uh, I expect you to gain some weight by the time the show actually happens. I’m going to use your last measurements instead of the ones I took today because they’re more similar to the body weight they prefer for you. you have to eat more, jeongguk-ah.” hoseok says with his hands on his hips, voice full of authority despite jeongguk being the one to hover over him.

jeongguk rolls his eyes in playful annoyance before giving him a bright smile. “okay, hyung, thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

he’s almost out the door when he hears hoseok yelp, “wait a damned minute, jeon jeongguk! don’t think you can sneak right out in that atrocious outfit. you have a full day of interviews and the brands you have partnerships with will whine and whine at me if you keep showing up in your dismal all-black clothing. go change into that outfit I left in the fitting room for you. now.”

jeongguk curses under his breath. he was so sure he could get away with wearing what he wanted for the day. but perhaps it was for the best. showing up for professional video shoots in a muscle tank and shorts would have probably looked bad.

by the time he changes into the outfit hoseok prepared for him, jimin-hyung is in the office talking to hoseok. they were both giggling to each other about something.

“what’s so funny?” he walks up to them with a small smile.

if jeongguk didn’t know him so well, he wouldn’t have taken note of the way jimin’s smile faltered. but not even a millisecond goes by before jimin catches himself and he’s whistling and smiling, “there’s my handsome boy. that fit is doing your muscles wonders!”

what was that about?

hoseok tilts his chin up with pride and crosses his arms. “duh, I styled him. i know exactly what looks good on him. if only he had even a slight interest in fashion other than black, white, and. fifty shades of grey, there would be hope for him to style himself.”

“hey, I don’t appreciate that.” jeongguk mumbles. but he does always appreciate hoseok’s styling. he always maintained the perfect balance of jeongguk’s personal tastes with current trends and what brands send him as sponsorship gifts. he was the perfect stylist. the outfit in question was a stylistically tattered black leathered jacket from balenciaga with a matching white tee tucked into dark navy jeans that tightly fit his thighs and flared out unobnoxiously at the bottom.

“I don’t care. you look good because of me. well, better because of me. you always look good.” hoseok fondly rolls his eyes before walking away. he disappears deeper into his office after he waves them goodbye.

jimin tugs jeongguk’s sleeve to lead him out to where the car is waiting for them. jeongguk settles in his seat, hoping for a nice nap before tackling the day. the sun hasn’t even risen yet.

jimin scrolls through the ipad he’s holding, recounting to jeongguk what his schedule for the day is.

“we’re heading over to chaeyoung’s shop to get your makeup done and do some color testing for what makeup style you’re going to have for your shows in New York. then right after, you’re going make a guest appearance at a cooking show. that should take a few hours. then you have to film some content for balenciaga. hence, the outfit. after that, we’ll go back to the company for some stuff you have to sign off on, okay?” jimin asks him jovially.

jeongguk groans. it didn’t sound like a lot but he knew that each schedule was going to take forever. but he lives for the hustle so he tersely replies, “okay.”

he closes his eyes and reclines his seat so that he can relax as much as he can. he doesn’t think jimin-hyung will allow him a nap given how talkative he is this morning. the other man is explaining into detail about his schedule when jeongguk interrupts, “what were you and hoseok-hyung giggling about earlier?”

jimin pauses. bingo. so it was something. if it were unimportant, jimin-hyung would merely ignore his question and keep talking about business.

jeongguk opens his eyes to look at the man in question and he sees jimin giving him a hard stare. he unapologetically stares right back. after a few seconds, the older one caves.

“ugh, we were talking about taehyungie’s interview clip. you know, the one where he mentioned you.” jimin mumbles as he redirects his attention on his ipad, pretending to be busy.

jeongguk quite literally does a double take because huh? taehyungie? that was not just a random way to call someone you don’t know. was jimin familiar with the model? well, given that jeongguk was suspicious that yoongi-hyung knew this kim taehyung, if that were true, it wouldn’t be farfetched to assume that jimin-hyung would know him too. with the two of them dating and all.

“taehyungie? do you know this guy or something?” he asks with a raised eyebrow, body now turned towards his hyung.

“n-no! not at all! I mean, I know of him. everyone who has an interest in fashion knows of him, s-so you know, hoseokie-hyung and I were talking about him since we like to keep tabs on his projects and it’s crazy because he just happened to mention you in an interview! a-about fashion week, yep. and i-it went viral. so, we talked about it.” jimin’s eyes are shifty as he pretends to still be focusing on his ipad while also glancing at jeongguk every now and then.

jeongguk’s eyes narrow at his hyung, who glances at him from the corner of his eyes but his body is hunched over his ipad. suspicious. he keeps his stare on him long enough for jimin to crumble under the pressure. “what?!” he yelps. the older one finally turns the ipad off.

“you’re being suspicious. did you know that yoongi-hyung sent that video to me? told me that I was lucky.”

at that, jimin immediately wears a shocked expression. he’s taking his phone out of his pocket with angry, quiet little mumbles that jeongguk can’t quite hear.

“told him not to… I can’t believe he… my baby taehyungie…” is all he catches.

“seriously, jimin-hyung, do you expect me to believe that you don’t know kim taehyung? I mean, taehyungie, really?” jeongguk says a little incredulously because his hyung could not possibly think that he was that dumb, right?

jimin is still angrily tapping away on his phone but he doesn’t even bother to answer him, he just says, “don’t call him that. and get out, we’re here. I’ll go and get coffee for you and the girls, so go without me.”

true enough, their driver puts the car in park as he waits for jeongguk to leave. he stares at jimin-hyung for a good solid minute before rolling his eyes and exiting the vehicle. not before thanking the driver, of course.

he was going to get answers one way or another. plus, he really shouldn’t care about kim taehyung as much as he did. but he rationalized that he was just irked by the idea of his close friends keeping secrets from him. yes, that was it.

jeongguk checks his phone as he’s going up the building, seeing that sara has been texting him updates of her fittings and rehearsals. she also sent some photos that— although appreciated—really weren’t appropriate for him to look at as he attends to business, but he’s just a man. as he scrolls through the notifications, his eyebrows quirk up at some of her texts mentioning.

ugh, kim taehyung is at it again.

I fucking hate him. he’s a piece of shit who’s trying to get my boyfriend’s attention.

he needs to know his fucking place.

jeongguk rolls his eyes. he still hasn’t responded from when she asked him if he had seen taehyung’s interview the night before and he still isn’t responding now. truthfully, he has no interest in talking to her. nor the energy. plus, all the negative attention sara was giving the younger model was just distasteful.

he exits the private elevator and makes his way to chaeyoung’s room. halfway through, he’s met with some girls he recognizes to be chaeyoung’s assistants and they start walking alongside him with clipboards that seemed to contain collages of some sort. they start talking to him at the same time, asking what color palettes he prefers for what look. he’s a little overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of questions but thank god he sees the woman in charge herself. he walks a little faster and never has he been more grateful for his long legs.

“chaeyoung-ah!”

she turns around and immediately swoops in to his rescue.

“my goodness, girls, don’t overwhelm the man. give me all of those.” chaeyoung says as she takes all of the clipboards. she takes one glance at jeongguk’s face before flipping through the collages. “these are a yes.” she hands two clipboards to one girl. “these are a no. go look for other reference photos to make them better.” she gives the rest of the clipboards to another girl. everyone walks out of the room.

jeongguk puffs out a sigh of relief as he sits himself down in the makeup chair. “that was so cool.” he smirks up at her.

chaeyoung rolls her eyes before lightly swatting at his head. “ya, don’t flirt with me, it’s weird.”

he sorely rubs at his head and cringes. “i’m not fucking flirting!”

he appreciated their dynamic. although she was a few years younger than him, she's been in the makeup industry almost as long as he's been an idol. they were pretty close friends, which was why they spoke so casually with each other.

“yeah, yeah, yeah, let’s just get started. I have to test a lot of things on your skin so all you have to do is sit there and look pretty. and I swear to god, don’t fall asleep. I need your eyes open.”

jeongguk groans but nods. he’s going to be confined to this chair for hours. where the hell was jimin-hyung and his coffee?

he settles in. he switches from mindlessly scrolling on his phone and pulling up the notes app to write random lyrics down. he looks up when he’s asked to. he answers when chaeyoung asks him for his opinion for his preference for the color or style of whatever she’s doing.

“okay, guk-ah, I finished the eye makeup selection. you can take a nap, if you want.” chaeyoung smirks at him through the mirror. and this is why he fucking loved her. she was great at balancing professionalism with being his friend.

he doesn’t even say anything before he’s closing his eyes. then he immediately goes in and out of sleep. he fails to hear the knock on the door and someone coming in asking for chaeyoung’s signature. but he does hear this: “…the products we ordered for taehyung-ssi are on back order so we have to…”

his eyes open immediately at the name and he watches the interaction between chaeyoung, who stepped away from him, and her assistant. they’re speaking in hushed tones because he was sleeping but he hears the way chaeyoung’s voice has softened when she says, “oh shoot, taehyungie really liked those three colors too. message pony to see if she has them and if she’s willing to lend them to us. otherwise tell two of the girls to drop by some of the shops around here. we need to get those colors as soon as possible.”

chaeyoung sends the girl on her way then she walks back to jeongguk’s chair. “oh, you were awake?”

he nods. “you know kim taehyung?”

the younger woman smirks at him. “do I know him? babe, I’m his makeup artist too, of course I know him.”

right. he forgets that this woman quite literally does every A-list celebrity’s makeup in korea. jeongguk is afraid that it’s going to be awkward since he brought him up because he doesn’t even know what to say about him. but thankfully, chaeyoung has no problem talk about the model.

“god, that kid is so fucking cute. and beautiful. almost criminally so. like, i’ve seen a lot of beautiful people in my career, with you being one of them, don’t worry,” jeongguk slightly scoffs but he smiles because he knows she’s being genuine. “but damn, kim taehyung is one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in my life.”

jeongguk hums at this, not knowing what to do with this information. it wasn’t quite new to him, since he was well aware just how beautiful kim taehyung seemed to come across on screen.

“that boy is a makeup artist’s dream. I’m not even kidding, jeongguk-ah. he might be an angel, he’s that pretty. i barely have to do any work because the canvas is just that perfect.” chaeyoung rants as she gently applies powder on his face. “and he’s so nice, too. this new generation of models have serious attitude problems but he’s one of the few I genuinely like. the kid is almost too nice.”

it was a great compliment. chaeyoung had high standards for clients and friends alike. although her shop was very famous, she assigned herself to very few celebrities in which she would be their main makeup artist. jeongguk lucked out that she ended up liking him.

too nice, huh?

“I know you’re chronically offline but have you seen his most recent interv-“ chaeyoung is cut off by jimin’s familiar high pitched voice yelling, “park jimin graces you with his presence and coffee!”

he bursts in with a handful of bags.

soon enough, all of chaeyoung’s employees are crowding the room to take a cup of coffee. jimin personally takes one to jeongguk who stays in the chair. when everyone has dispersed, jimin lays down on the guest sofa in the room, once again on his ipad. jeongguk tsk’s under his breath at the act of nonchalance from his manager.

“so, how’s it been?” jimin idly asks from his spot on the sofa.

“good, I have the colors settled for all of his fashion week looks, so we’ll place the order by the end of  today to secure everything needed for them. i’m essentially just finishing his makeup for the day. we also talked a little about taehyung!” chaeyoung said as she gently dabbed something on jeongguk’s face with a sponge.

jeongguk watches jimin through the mirror. he can tell that the older one was trying to maintain his image of nonchalance, but he doesn’t miss the way jimin’s hand stills over his ipad as his brows furrow.

“oh?”

“chaeyoung here was just telling me about how sweet, pretty, beautiful, and angelic he is. and that he probably farts sunshine and rainbows.” he says with a roll of his eyes, teasing smile on his lips.

“yah! I didn’t say all that! but that last part is probably true too.” the younger woman says with a grin. she goes back to doing his makeup so a calm silence falls on them. but from where jeongguk can see jimin through the mirror, the older one still seems to be slightly nervous. why the fuck did taehyung seem to be such a sensitive topic for him? and for yoongi-hyung too? he wanted answers.

thankfully, chaeyoung just seemed to be taehyung’s number one fan so he doesn’t have to figure out how to bring him up. “jeongguk-ah, did you see his latest interview where he mentioned you?”

jimin sits up at this, eyes a little panicked.

“the one about fashion week? yeah, I did. it was sweet.”  jeongguk said amicably, not wanting to give too much way. they didn’t need to know that he spent more than a few hours looking the model up they night before.

chaeyoung blinked at him. “no, the most recent one,” and at this, jimin is standing to hover behind jeongguk’s chair, eyes really panicked now. jeongguk’s own eyes widen at her words. there was another one? “the one about his favorite song.”

jeongguk takes his phone from the table, immediately pulling up youtube to search what chaeyoung was talking about. surely enough, he doesn’t even need to search anything because it’s the first video that pops up on his suggested page.

and good lord was kim taehyung a sight to behold. even the thumbnail of the video looked like it could be the cover of a magazine. how could a person be that pretty? he taps on the video immediately and he sees as he glances at the mirror that chaeyoung and jimin are also watching.

when the video loads, jeongguk is once again struck by just how fucking beautiful he was. he was dressed casually, in a blue sweater and blue jeans, very much giving off-duty model vibes. he still looked impeccable. and whoever was filming definitely appreciated the view in front of them too, as the intro of the video were just multiple angles of taehyung’s beautiful face. it makes jeongguk curious  as to what that beautiful face looked like in real life. was he as beautiful as he was on screen?

in 3d? his mind supplies.

huh.

focusing back on the video, taehyung’s thin figure was standing behind a short pedestal that had a bowl on top.

“kim taehyung-ssi!” a voice off-camera yells, startling taehyung a little. cute, jeongguk can’t help but think. “please pick a random ball in the bowl and crack it open to answer one of the special questions your fans have submitted for you!”

taehyung gives a determined nod as he swirls his hand inside the bowl, giving it a good stir to pick one out. the camera man zooms in on his wrist and hand, probably trying to show off taehyung’s slender wrist and long, thin fingers. was everything about this guy pretty? it didn’t seem quite fair. jeongguk was fairly [very] confident about his own looks but even he knew he didn’t hold a candle to the boy’s beauty.

taehyung picks one out with an “aha!” followed by a boxy grin. his eyes sparkle as he shakes it around a bit and for fuck’s sake, who allowed this kid to be so cute. the boy cracks the ball open with a little pop! and he reads the question aloud. “what is taehyungie’s favorite song these days?”

he keeps his eyes on the paper for a moment after reading it, apparently already in deep contemplation. he once again strokes an imaginary beard just as he did in the first interview jeongguk saw from him and all three of them watching the video slightly chuckle at the act.

“hmm…” taehyung looks up at the ceiling. he then looks at the camera with a slightly tilted head. jeongguk subconsciously brings his phone closer, wondering what taehyung will say. obviously, from what chaeyoung said, it’s one of his. but he wonders what it will be.

then, taehyung says albeit a little shyly: “born singer by jeon jeongguk-ssi?”

jeongguk blinked. he wasn’t expecting that. it was a song that he held close to his heart. although loved and adored by his older and more hardcore fans, it was a song that was relatively unknown by the general public. despite its long history, he had only recently released it on an official album on a whim. he had re-written that song after one of his idols, j-cole, released it just a few days after he debuted with the help of namjoon and yoongi. it was a song that to him, thoroughly explained his identity as an artist. but he had also released it at a time when he was far, far away from being anywhere near being popular.

in the video, the film crew “ooh”s and “ah”s at his response. a voice off-camera says to taehyung, “we’re not too familiar with that song,” he feels chaeyoung mumble a “I’m not either,” behind him and jimin lightly chuckles next to her. “but can you tell us why it’s your favorite?”

“I think…” taehyung politely keeps his hands clasped in front of him as his eyes wander to whoever asked him the question off-camera. “that it greatly shows the pressures of the industry even when you’re so purely determined to succeed right from the start. i’m not a singer or an idol so I don’t know jeongguk-ssi’s specific struggles but I’ve had my fair share that I can relate to in this song. you can really feel the love and passion he has for his craft. plus, he was so young when he first released it and now look at him. he’s at the top of the world, as he deserves! ” taehyung ends with a cute little giggle. the crew off-camera also laugh light-heartedly. the video cuts out.

jeongguk’s mouth hung slightly open as he listened to the model through the screen. throughout his years, he has heard many celebrities compliment his work. however, for the most part, shout-outs were often not genuine; they were often said with some sort of hopes or expectation of reciprocation. call him paranoid, but jeongguk was quick to doubt a person who threw him senseless flattery, which everyone seemed to throw at him. having come from a small company and having to work himself from hell to the top, he realized just how fake everyone in the industry was; from ignoring him or throwing him looks of disdain in his younger years to the ass-kissing that often happened now when he did choose to publicly show up to things, he hated it all. jeongguk was fucking proud of his status, his journey, his struggles. the only thing he slightly regrets is the coldness he’s gained as a consequence of having defenses against the fake dancing of the industry.

but hearing taehyung’s words and the lightness of which he said them were a breath of fresh air. nothing about this kid screamed fake at all. quite the opposite, he could tell that he was being sincere. the softness of which he explained how he related to the song to the child-like wonder and proudness his voice carried when mentioning how jeongguk deserved to be where he was now. it was sweet. jeongguk couldn’t help the small smile that formed on his lips. he spared a glance up at the mirror and saw chaeyoung looking at him with a knowing smirk and jimin looking at him with a look close to horror.

“you like him.” chaeyoung stated with a smirk, not even bothering to say it as a question.

jeongguk immediately grimaced when he realized he indeed looked like a love-sick fool. he slapped a hand over his mouth to wipe away the disgusting smile. “yah! don’t rub your face! your makeup’s not done yet!” chaeyoung reprimanded him, slapping him on the shoulder. she goes back to doing his makeup, touching up any areas jeongguk might have messed up with his carelessness.

he pockets his phone, wanting to forget the entire thing but he couldn’t lie; that video boosted his ego a hundred and ten percent. he appreciated genuine compliments when they came and when they came from angelic models that looked like kim taehyung? him and his high horse were galactic.

“you,” jeongguk gestured his head towards jimin-hyung through the mirror, who stayed silently staring behind him. “why are you so quiet?”

jimin was a person who was boisterously loud. he was literally just yelling at the top of his lungs when he got here and now that the topic of kim taehyung was on the center floor, he was mute. wasn’t that just fucking suspicious? jeongguk was getting tired of beating around bushes and he couldn’t stand the idea of one of his closest hyungs keeping secrets from him.

that seemed to wake him up from his stupor though, jimin swatting him on the shoulder as he tells him, “don’t talk to me like that, jeon jeongguk, I’m your hyung.”

“you obviously know him. but you’re hiding it from me.” jeongguk challenges.

jimin flinches. jeongguk presses harder to get him to crack. “in the car, you didn’t want to talk about this new video, huh? that’s why you were stuttering on and on about the other one. why do you hate the idea of me knowing about kim taehyung? he’s the one that keeps talking about me.”

something shifts in the air and jimin all of a sudden looks more poised, more serious, as he straightens his shoulders and looks jeongguk dead in the eye. the younger one almost flinches. he does indeed forget sometimes that this person is his hyung.

“that’s true, he has been mentioning you a lot as of late. and taehyungie usually doesn’t talk about idols like that.” chaeyoung ponders out loud. “you should feel lucky, jeongguk-ah.”

jeongguk shrugs, not wanting to give too much away about how good it makes him feel that someone as drop dead beautiful as kim taehyung has been giving him attention. “well, he is hot as fuck, so yeah, I do feel lucky.”

“you’re right,” jimin-hyung snaps, his attitude doing a complete 180 with how serious and stoic he suddenly seemed. “I do know him. but this is something that we can talk about later. and again, jeongguk-ah,” jimin leans down behind him and continues to stare at him dead in the eye through the mirror. this time, jeongguk does slightly flinch. “I’m your hyung. treat me with a little more respect, yeah?”

“okay, boys, cut it out. no drama in the makeup room unless it’s for fun, you know the rules.” chaeyoung rolls her eyes as she lightly pushes both of them away from each other. “jeongguk-ah, you’re done. both of you get out of here and stop fogging my room up with your testosterone.”

jeongguk gets up from the makeup chair as jimin straight up just walks out the door. jesus fucking christ, he was so confused.

when he gets in the van, jimin is dead silent. his driver takes the liberty to tell jeongguk where they were going next, to which he just gives the poor man a small smile and a nod. it was going to be quite a long, awkward drive.

in the first ten minutes of the drive, jeongguk tries to rationalize the situation. he didn’t think that jimin was being quite fair, given that he didn’t know what was going on but jeongguk felt that he was being treated like the bad guy. the root of the problem was kim taehyung. he hates the way he gets a little uncomfortable at the thought of him. it wasn’t necessarily negative… quite the opposite actually. but it was that fact that made him uncomfortable. he has seen, met, admired, and been admired by many beautiful people. hell, his girlfriend was one of the most beautiful women in the world and he wasn’t even biased in saying that.

but there was something inexplicably different about kim taehyung. there was a gentleness he wore like a cozy blanket in his casual self but once he stepped on a runway or a photoshoot, the switch would give anyone whiplash. all of a sudden, the air around him would change; as if he was some sort of celestial being. he was graceful and regal, commanding and domineering in however short span of time he was given to body a look. but it was also the way he was flexible to concepts, never rigid in his expressions or too afraid to pose himself a certain way despite how silly or strange it may look to an outsider. not that anything he did seemed silly or strange. kim taehyung can just about do anything and it would probably be the most beautiful thing in the world.

what the fuck, no. he takes that back. see, this was the problem. he does’t know where this taehyung-fanboy mode would randomly come from but it was not appreciated. when faced with the model, he took on an attitude that he’s never even had for his girlfriend. snap the fuck out of it, he tells himself. everything about this is really starting to piss him off.

“okay. we really need to talk about this, hyung,” he finally snaps after a little bit of contemplation. jimin-hyung doesn’t even flinch at his outburst, so far from the flustered reaction he got from him when he first asked about taehyung earlier that day. “you become cryptic and on your toes whenever kim taehyung is mentioned but then ignore me when I ask about him. and he’s the one who keeps mentioning me in the first place. and I know that yoongi-hyung somehow know him too. so give it to me straight: what’s your relationship with him?”

jimin’s eyes stay glued to that fucking ipad, seemingly unbothered as he slowly scrolls through something. jeongguk waits what feels like an eternity before jimin slowly turns his head towards him while still nonchalantly looking down at what he was reading. “tell me something first, jeongguk-ah.”

there was a coldness to his tone that made jeongguk flinch. he only ever heard jimin-hyung like this when he was about to give him the scolding of his life; when he does something so completely dumb and irrevocable. but not one to back down, jeongguk keeps his stare strong and unmoving at his hyung as he slightly tilts his head to gesture for him to keep speaking.

“what are your thoughts on kim taehyung?” this felt like a trap. it was like jimin was just casually asking about the weather, but jeongguk knew better. this was definitely a loaded question. but again: jeon jeongguk did not fucking back down.

“he’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life.”  jeongguk said with a bit more honesty than he was expecting even from himself. but it was easy to wax poetry about someone as ethereal as kim taehyung. he doesn’t know what he was expecting from his hyung, but he was not expecting jimin’s head to whip towards him with a look of absolute betrayal. his nonchalance was completely gone.

“and?” jimin says expectantly.

“what else do you want me to say?” jeongguk’s voice gets a little higher in slight indignation.

“I just want you to be honest, jeongguk-ah. what have your thoughts been since taehyung started mentioning you publicly?”

the way jimin-hyung words the question throws jeongguk for a loop. is he implying that taehyung talks about him privately? he takes a second to gather his thoughts, wanting to be careful with what he says because it was so very obvious that his hyung was protective over kim taehyung.

“he’s stunning, hyung. when yoongi-hyung sent me that first video of him, I actually dropped my phone when he said my name. and then I did in fact search him up for hours that night. he’s absolutely fucking beautiful and charming but so different from the other models in the industry; from anyone in the pop culture industry in general, for that matter. there’s just something about him that draws people in.” that draws me in, he thinks but doesn’t mention. “and the fact that he talked about born singer that way? you know how much I love that song. I don’t know, hyung. but he’s absolutely stunning.”

it’s only when he’s done speaking does he notice the way the look on jimin-hyung’s face has morphed into one of absolute horror. jimin loudly bursts out, “do you fucking hear yourself right now?”

even their driver flinches at the outburst, so jeongguk instantly reacts by yelling, “what the fuck is your problem?”

“do you not remember that you in fact have a girlfriend?” jimin seethes.

jeongguk rolls his eyes. “what the fuck does she have to do with this?”

jimin looks at him incredulously. “everything, jeongguk-ah, everything! did you hear yourself just now? I’ve never heard you say anything like that about your current girlfriend or any of your past fucking girlfriends for that matter. and I’ve been there for all the relationships you’ve been in!”

fuck.

he did have a good point. and jeongguk knows. he knows that this interest, this infatuation was wrong. wrong because he very much did in fact have a girlfriend (who he’s been ignoring for days on end) and even more wrong because it was the kind of interest he’s never had before. and he didn’t know what to fucking do about it. it already pissed him off but jimin-hyung pointing it out to him so derisively (in front of their poor driver too) was pissing him off even more.

so he reacts in the good old fashioned-way: not well at all. “what the fuck is it even to you? you keep questioning me like you’re accusing me of something and I still don’t even have a clue why. who the fuck is kim taehyung to you? and yoongi-hyung? you’re both hiding something from me and I hate it, hyung,” his voice starts to crack out of frustration because what was this confrontation even about?

at the vulnerability in his voice, jimin softens. he momentarily sigh before extending a hand to rub at jeongguk’s shoulder comfortingly. “I’m sorry, jeonggukie. you haven’t done anything wrong. yoongi-hyung and I do know kim taehyung. very well, actually. we know him because his gra—“

“I-I’m so sorry to interrupt,” their driver says with what seems like despair. “but we’re nearing the next location and jeongguk-ssi needs to look through the recipes he’ll be partaking in for the cooking show.”

jeongguk groans. they were finally getting to the nitty gritty details of all this commotion and of course, something just had to get in the way of it.

“we’ll talk about this some other time.” jimin says. he’s already looking back at his ipad and pulling up said recipes for jeongguk to go over. there were notes and annotations on each page for jeongguk to remember or keep in mind. sometimes, jeongguk forgets that jimin-hyung is actually really good at his job and does probably more than what he deserves.

he guesses he really will just have to wait until they can finally talk about the mystery behind jimin and yoongi-hyung’s relationship with kim taehyung.

except they absolutely do not have any time at all.

the days that follow are filled with a flurry of fittings, recordings, guest appearances, interviews, and fruitless nights of jeongguk spending time he should be sleeping trying to write for his album instead. before he knows it, he’s on a flight to new york. he’s tired as fuck and it shows. he’s always irritated so he does everyone a favor by being quiet and mostly keeping to himself. he hasn’t even seen jimin-hyung in a few days because he had to inspect a few sets that the company wanted to use for future photoshoots. his patience for everything in the universe is running very, very thin.

as he’s trying to catch some sleep on the plane (to no avail), his assistant manager lightly taps him awake. fuck, he was not in the mood. was it okay to fire him over this? even jimin-hyung never woke him up whenever he tried to catch up on rest over a flight.

“what?” he growls.

“u-um, I’m so sorry, jeongguk-ssi. our company is asking you to do a performance at the Calvin Klein afterparty. i-it seems like they’re not taking no for an answer.” the man is hunched in himself as he nervously tells jeongguk the bad news.

“who the hell is ‘they’? I’ve discussed this with my team already. I won’t do it.”

“t-the head of the company asked if you’d be able to. and that if you do the performance, you can have a slightly extended vacation in new york. a f-few days at most.”

namjoon-hyung approved that? his anger immediately goes away. he would basically do anything namjoon-hyung wanted him to do and would additionally do anything for a couple days off. “fine.”

the man sighs in relief before walking away. jeongguk brings up a hand to his forehead, massaging the area as he sighs in exhaustion. he doesn’t know why he goes through his phone because it always stresses him out. he mentally groans at the ridiculous amount of texts he has from sara.

god, he knows he’s the asshole here, but she was fucking insufferable. it really dawned on him when they had last talked that she did not care about his wellbeing whatsoever. not one of the onslaught of texts she’s sent recently has to do with asking about how he’s been or what’s going on with his life, always just about her and her getting angry that he hasn’t been replying. he’s getting over this shit.

he doesn’t know when he falls asleep but the rest is appreciated when he finally arrives at new york in the crack of dawn. jimin-hyung is greeting him at the arrival area and jeongguk makes sure to give a slight wave and respectful bow to the many fans who are waiting behind make-shift fences in the area too.

once they’re settled in the van, jeongguk takes his mask off and is blows out a puff of air in exhaustion. jimin doesn’t even go through any niceties before he’s giving jeongguk the run-down of what his schedule is going to look like for the next two days. god, he really wants some fucking coff—

“here.” jimin cuts himself off from his long summary to whip out an iced americano from god knows where and hands it to him. god bless park jimin.

“anyways, you’re seeing hoseok-hyung today for your final fitting. it’s going to take a while because of the added performance you’re doing but he had other looks planned for you that he fortunately set aside in case you needed extras. then you’re going straight to rehearsals at the venue the afterparty will be in. you’re only going to be performing a couple songs so it should go smoothly. you can decide on the final setlist once you arrive but namjoon-hyung already made one with songs he knows you won’t need much rehearsal time with. then—“ and jimin drones on and on and on and on.

jeongguk leans his head back on the headrest of the seat as he takes all of the information in. it was going to be a tight two-day schedule, but the light at the end of the tunnel were the promised few days he had off. speaking of, “hey, how much time can I get off since I agreed to the performance?”

jimin pinches him on the thigh and he yelps and rubs at the area. jimin reprimands him, “yah, was that the only thing you were thinking about?”

“no! fitting today, rehearsal later, finalize the setlist, pre-recorded show interview, then tomorrow morning, soundcheck, show appearance, afterparty performance, post-show interviews, boom.” jeongguk lists off as he counts on his thigh. when he finishes, he flashes jimin a smug smirk.

“ugh, I forget that you’re good at your job.” jimin deadpans.

“hey, that’s mean.”

jimin rolls his eyes. “you get five days off. technically seven but in your last two days here, namjoon-hyung arranged some studio time with a couple famous producers that are in town. they’re gonna pitch some ideas for your album. sound good?”

that sounded fucking fantastic. it gives him the motivation to push through everything he needed to do to make it to the end of these next few days.

his good mood is cut short when his phone rings.

ding!

it was sara. twitter exploded when you arrived in new york. so when are we finally going to see each other? attached was a photo that made him cover up a ‘cough’ (he choked) with his mouth. she was naked in what looked like a dressing room. jesus. he might have thought she was insufferable but she sure was hot as fuck. and he had five days off? god, he hasn’t gotten laid in so fucking long.

ding!

sara again. can’t wait to see you, honey! there were another two photos. in both, sara was in the middle of a group of girls and boys, extending her long arm out to take a selfie of all of them. they were all making some sort of face at the camera, huddled close together. he assumes they were fellow models. he looks at the photos with disinterest and he’s about to turn his phone off when a tiny (correction: huge) detail catches his eye.

there, in the far back of the picture, as if he was quite a distance away from the group, was kim taehyung. he looks so small that he could have went unnoticed due to the distance, but jeongguk knows those beautiful features by now. even from afar, his face was fucking angelic. he zooms in on to focus on him. in the first photo, he’s turned away from the camera. though pixelated, the angle of his soft jawline is still strong and pronounced and his nose is piece of art. he has one hand braced on his other arm, which is hanging limp and straight. his shoulders curl inwards, as if he was trying to make himself smaller. in the next photo, he’s looking at the direction of the camera although his body is still angled away. his body language and the way that he was so far from the group said many things about what was going on in the photos.

he was being ignored. or left out. most likely both.

jeongguk’s grip on his phone tightens. he almost hoped that sara was dumb enough for this to be an accident, but he knew how much she hated his guts.

“jeongguk-ah?” jimin nudges him to get his attention.

he looks up at jimin and the older one is poking his finger onto his forehead. “stop glaring at your phone, you’ll get frown lines.”

jeongguk swats the hand away but cools his expression. “my skin is perfect.”

jimin has no rebuttal so he just asks, “what’s got you frowning so much anyway?”

the idol bites his lip as he thinks about whether he should tell jimin-hyung about the photos or not. he’s been dying to finally continue their conversation about kim taehyung but he’s sure that jimin will be pissed off about the photos. which means he’ll be pissed off about sara, which means he’ll be pissed at jeongguk. he internally grimaces at the thought. but he couldn’t just hide it. so he gives jimin his phone to look at the photos.

“ew! ew, ew, ew, ew! what the fuck, jeon jeongguk! why the hell would you show me that?” jimin screams as he throws his phone at jeongguk who actually catches it despite being surprised. their driver flinches in surprise at the outburst too. (their poor drivers, jesus.)

“what?” jeongguk picks up his phone and oh. he couldn’t help but laugh. he guesses he accidentally went back to sara’s nudes. oops. he swipes until he’s back on the most recent photos and then once again hands the phone to jimin, who has one hand covering his forehead, his index finger and thumb rubbing at his eyes as if trying to wipe away the memory of what he just saw. jeongguk laughs again when jimin grimaces and hesitates before once again taking the phone.

but once he sees the photos, the air around jimin changes once again. god, jeongguk really was not used to seeing his hyung so serious. he can tell that the older one saw exactly what jeongguk saw.

he can see how tightly clenched jimin’s jaw is when he hands jeongguk back his phone. the younger one is slightly uncomfortable as the older one proceeds to stare out the window, tapping his index finger on the leather that lined the car’s window. he would have appreciated it more if jimin went back to summarizing his to-do list for the next two days. the silence treatment was just weird.

“hyung?”

“yoongi told me about what sara said about taehyung, you know.” jimin says quietly as he continues staring out the window. jeongguk wracks his brain as he tries to recall what it is jimin was alluding to.

right. sara had told him she wouldn’t be surprised if taehyung had slept with fashion directors to get a spot in shows.

jeongguk stays quiet as he allows jimin to keep talking. this was the first time that jimin-hyung himself was initiating a conversation about taehyung so jeongguk did not want to ruin it.

“he’s a sweet kid. he hasn’t been in the industry for long but he’s worked hard. crazy hard. in a lot of ways, he reminds me of you. well, the younger you,” jimin softly chuckles, voice a little quiet. “bright-eyed and determined. but ignorant. he wants to get along with everyone. you lost that attitude very quickly, but he still wears his heart on his sleeve.”

jeongguk intensely listens. the words are easy to believe. the way kim taehyung presents himself even in short interviews seemed genuine and open to anyone and everyone who wanted even a little bit of his attention.

jimin finally turns his full body to face jeongguk. “listen, jeongguk-ah. I love you. you know I’d damn near do anything for you. but your girlfriend is a piece of shit.”

jeongguk doesn’t even feel an ounce of anger his words. he opts not to react.

“we know taehyung through his family,” jimin confesses. “it’s a long, complicated story, but just know that we’re as fond of him as we are of you. yoongi-hyung and I owe his family a lot.”

okay, he could accept that. of course, he was still curious. “is he a silver spoon or something? what do you mean you two owe his family? did they give you money?” he did not want to see his dear friends be hounded by debt collectors or something.

jimin chuckles, knowing exactly where jeongguk’s brain was going. “no, jeongguk-ah. I mean that his family took care of us when yoongi-hyung and I were younger. we probably wouldn’t be here today if it weren't for them.”

those were big claims. it makes jeongguk feel the depth of gratefulness jimin seemed to have over taehyung’s family.

jimin’s eyes harden as he fixes a stare onto jeongguk’s face. the tone he uses borders on somewhere between dark and threatening. “we’re severely protective over him, as you probably have been able to tell whenever I talk about him. I won’t go into detail right now because we’re in a severe time crunch but when it comes to him, jeon jeongguk, I want you to avoid him like the plague.”

jeongguk’s eyes widen at the words. “what? why?” there’s a hint of indignation at the end of each question and he knows he sounds like he’s whining.

“aha! so you weren’t planning to ignore him?” jimin says as he points an accusing finger at him.

he’s getting severe whiplash. on one hand, yoongi-hyung had been the one to show him who kim taehyung was and even told him that they’ll probably cross paths. and on the other, jimin-hyung was essentially threatening him to stay away from the model. actually, now that he thinks about it, he remembers telling yoongi-hyung that jeongguk was better off not thinking about taehyung, nonetheless seeing him. and look at him now. eating his own fucking words. 

“well, my girlfriend’s a fucking model herself, hyung. kim taehyung is also a model. I can’t just avoid him like that. it’s not like I’m gonna go out of my way to speak to him if I do see him.” perhaps.

jimin gives him a blank stare before he rolls his eyes and huffs out, “you freeze when you see pretty people and lose control of yourself, I do not trust you at all.

“woah, yoongi-hyung said those exact same words to me in this same exact situation,” jeongguk shivered. “I got fucking goosebumps, hyung.”

“that’s my man!” jimin says pridefully. “but seriously, I never even want you to look at taehyungie, you understand? I need you to think with your brain and not your dick if you ever see him. I really wonder why the hell he’s been talking about you so much in public anyway…” jimin says the last part so quietly that jeongguk doesn’t hear.

jeongguk sputters at what he does hear because what did jimin-hyung really think of him? he must have said that out loud because he hears a blank, “you're a whore,” from jimin.

jeongguk opens his mouth to defend himself but he comes up empty. he has absolutely nothing to say that because it very much was true. his long list of past relationships could attest to that. he quirks his head to the side in admission to the accusation. jimin laughs.

“anyways, we really need to decide a few things for the next couple days, so let’s get back to work. I think we’re almost at hoseok-hyung’s studio.” jimin says as he gets back on his ipad.

jeongguk once again leans his head back on the headrest, ready to single out keywords of whatever jimin’s about to tell him and ignore the rest.

“by the way, jeongguk,” said person hums in response, telling the other he was listening. “you might as well just break up with sara. I literally just called her a piece of shit and you didn’t give two fucks.”

the idol groans. he’ll deal with her later.

“focus, hyung.” and back to work they go. 

as soon as they arrive at hoseok-hyung’s studio, he’s being measured by some assistants as he waits for the designer.

“you didn’t gain any weight, jeongguk-ah.” he hears hoseok say as soon as he walks in.

“how do you know just by looking at me? I might have. check my measurements.” the argument is bound to fail though because he himself knows that he’s relatively stayed the same weight since they last saw each other. he might have even lost more weight with how stacked his schedule has been.

“I have eagle eyes. of course I can tell.”

jeongguk doesn’t argue with that because hoseok is quite literally never wrong.

and he continues that streak as his assistants relay his measurements and yep, he has in fact lost weight. hoseok rubs at his forehead as he writes something down on a clipboard. “what happened to burgers and milkshakes?”

he sighs. “no time.”

“well, it’s a good thing that I ended up making a bunch of outfits that vary in size just in case something like this were to happen.” hoseok claps his hands twice and makes show hands at the door.

immediately, three clothing racks are rolled into the room and jeongguk groans at the sight. he was only making a few appearances so why does he have to try all of this shit on? with his veteran status, he knows why but it doesn’t make it less annoying dealing with all these fittings only to pick out one or two outfits in the end. but he immediately snaps himself out of his annoyance when he remembers that when he gets through these next two days, he gets almost a week off.

a week of sex and music.

“hit me with everything you got, hyung.” he says determinedly.