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English
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Published:
2016-06-27
Completed:
2017-04-14
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94,946
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17/17
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Dreamers at Best

Summary:

Josh decided that he loved everything about this band. Well, no, that wasn’t quite true. He loved everything about it, except that he wasn’t part of it.

In which Josh goes to see twenty one pilots for the first time, and finds that he can't seem to tear his eyes away from the lead singer.

Chapter 1: Whisper 'This is It'

Notes:

Portuguese Translation: [x]
Spanish Translation: [x]

Please do not ever translate this fic or any of my other fics using AI. Please ask before translating my work. Thank you for understanding!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It was honestly embarrassing how excited Josh was for this concert. He went to shows practically every weekend, so he really shouldn’t be that eager to check out another group of local guys at the Newport, right? But ever since his friend Chris had sent him that four-track demo of his new band - twenty one pilots - Josh had been waiting for this night. And alright, it was possible that he had gotten there a couple hours early to make sure that he could be right at the front. He kept telling himself that it was just because Chris was his friend, and he wanted a good view of the drums, but the truth was that Josh had never wanted to be in the front more than he did right now.

Fortunately, his efforts had paid off, and he had managed to get a spot at the front and center in the small pit. The crowd wasn’t huge, and probably a large portion of it was just Ohio State kids trying to find something not-boring to do on campus. But they were enthusiastic enough, and Josh felt right at home.

The band had started right away, with no preamble, jumping into a song that changed tempo and style so fast every few measures that Josh could barely keep up - and he loved every minute of it. He loved everything about the song; the crazy keyboard music, the drumming (although Josh had to admit that he was already thinking about what he would do differently) - and most of all, the lead singer, who was just completely going for it, with no reservations. Josh had never seen someone go so wild, and still manage to rap incredibly fast and hit every note of the chorus… he was awestruck. He wasn’t sure what he had pictured when he had been listening to the voice on the demo, but it wasn’t this. The kid couldn’t have been more than twenty or twenty-one.

The song began to fade out:

You... have no plans for me… I will set my soul on fire.... what have I become… I’m sorry.

Josh clapped along enthusiastically with the rest of the crowd, many of whom seemed as impressed as he did. The lead singer, still behind his keyboard and out of breath from the insanity that was the first song, grabbed the mic to address the audience for the first time that night:

“Thanks for coming; we’re twenty one pilots, and we’re gonna play some music for you… that was our new song, that we just wrote the other day… it’s gonna be great.”

Is he serious? Josh thought. This kid is intense. As he was speaking, an orchestral backing track began to play. Josh absolutely recognized this one from the demo Chris had given him - it was the first twenty one pilots song he had ever heard.

“Let’s make this night memorable, alright?” Lead Singer said. “I need your help.”

And then he was right back at it. He strolled from his larger keyboard to a smaller one just left of center stage, haphazardly flicking a sheet of paper off the keys. It was a crazy feeling to see this song come to life right before him, with Lead Singer dancing along like mad. Josh could barely contain his laughter and excitement as he watched him jumping around behind his little keyboard, which he was now picking up and placing on top of the other one to the right. He barely had time to register the sound of operatic voices in the back of the track, distorted somewhat by being sped up, before he was distracted by Lead Singer coming right at him with the microphone, lunging up to the front of the stage and beginning the song… and jesus, this kid could rap.

You split! And take in every time you see a fake and counterfeit, in the mirror you appear to see fear and whisper ‘this is it!’ In the mirror you appear to see nothing else but yourself as a face, a hollowed out space, leave me with a razor just in case…

Somewhere in the back of Josh’s mind, he felt a little bit guilty for dedicating 0% of his attention to Chris, but he could not peel his eyes away from this guy, as he finished the first verse and careened back to his keyboard for the chorus, and then - holy shit, he was back, and practically standing right on top of Josh’s head as he shouted the second verse, stamping his foot to the beat. Josh had two options: look directly upward and encounter an area of Lead Singer with which he was not sure he was ready to be intimately familiar, or stare straight ahead at his shoes. He opted for the latter. As he watched Lead Singer stamping his unlaced sneaker into the floor to the beat, he realized that he hadn’t felt this good in months. This music was alive.

Josh decided that he loved everything about this band.

Well, no, that wasn’t quite true.

He loved everything about it, except that he wasn’t part of it.

With the visual distraction removed, Josh was really able to start listening to the lyrics, which, somehow, were even more intense than he had remembered. It was about God and death and failure and hope and life. It was beautiful. It was this kid’s heart on a plate. It was the best song he’d ever heard.

He was overcome with the urge to wrap his arms around Lead Singer’s legs, drag him into the pit, and hug him until his ribs cracked, but he resisted. Instead, he remained mesmerized as Lead Singer returned to the keyboard for a final few shouts of the chorus:

It’s time to say goodbye… to the earth, and now my worthless life… cause everything I’ve ever made is dead now, inside the grave...

Josh had found his new favorite band, and he was never going back.

 

--------

 

The show had ended, and the crowd, along with Josh, were filing out into the slightly chilly night air. He hurriedly sent a text to Chris:

Josh: Hey man, you backstage? Wanna come find you. AMAZING show btw.

He responded right away:

Chris: Come 2 stage door, around left side!

Josh extracted himself from the throng and headed around the building. The stage door was propped open as a few guys loaded out some equipment, and he was able to find Chris quickly once inside.

“Josh!

“Hey, man!” he replied to the figure coming towards him, who clasped his hand and pulled him into a one-shoulder hug. “Sick job up there! I’m serious, you guys sounded amazing!”

“Thanks, dude!” said Chris, smiling. “Yeah, I could see you in the pit. You looked like you were having a pretty good time. He’s really something else, isn’t he?”

Josh swallowed. “Huh?”

Chris laughed. “Come on, man. You basically had your eyes glued on Tyler the whole time. Maybe I should be offended,” he joked.

Tyler. Lead Singer had a name now. Tyler. Tylertylertyler.

“Yeah, for sure, he was pretty intense,” said Josh, trying not to blush. Why was he blushing in the first place? There was no way he was going to let himself start crushing on Lead Singer. On Tyler.

He realized that Chris was trying to get his attention.

“Josh?” he said, waving a hand in front of his face. “I asked if you wanted to grab food or something. I just have to load the drums back in the van and then we could meet at Burger King, or wherever.”

“Oh,” said Josh. “You mean, like, just the two of us? Or would… the other guys be coming, or something?”

“Nah man, just us,” said Chris.

“Oh,” replied Josh, trying to conceal his disappointment, and finding his vocabulary to be increasingly limited as he wrestled with his brain, trying not to ask Chris what he really wanted to ask.

Fuck it.

“Canyoumaybeintroducemetotyler?” he stuttered out, stuffing his hands in his pockets from embarrassment. This was pathetic.

Chris looked confused. “I’m gonna need you to say that one more time, man.”

Josh scuffed at the ground with his foot and tried to act normal, like a totally 100% straight dude who just wanted to meet a friend of a friend.

“Just… I don’t know, I was thinking it might be cool if you could introduce me to Tyler. You know, so I can tell him his music is cool, but it won’t be awkward, because I know you…” he trailed off.

His friend just laughed. “Yeah, sure, man. Let’s go find him. You can tell him how much of a fangirl you are. But I’m going to warn you right now that he’s pretty straight, so don’t go getting any ideas.”

Josh scoffed noncommittally. He wasn’t getting any ideas.

He followed Chris through the cramped backstage area until they reached a small dressing room that contained two couches, a few speakers, and a very, very shirtless Tyler

He was getting ideas.

“Hey Tyler, s’my friend Josh,” said Chris casually, and Josh tried to look anywhere but at the geometric tattoo on Tyler’s left pec as he turned to face them. He was surprised to see Tyler’s face break into a huge grin when he laid his eyes on Josh.

“Dude! You’re Josh? As in drummer Josh, that Chris was talking about? From House of Heroes? I didn’t know that was you! I totally saw you in the pit tonight!”

Josh blushed, fumbling with his words. It suddenly felt like he couldn’t remember the English language.

“Yep that’s me,” he confirmed, holding out his hand for Tyler to shake. “Drummer Josh.”

Tyler laughed at the repetition of the nickname, and held out his hand. “That’s so cool. I’m Tyler Joseph.”

“Hey,” Josh said pathetically, as he shook Tyler’s hand. He was surprised at the firmness of Tyler’s handshake, proportional to his relative scrawniness. He shook Josh’s hand like he really was honored to meet him.

“Sorry,” said Tyler, “Let me just…” and he moved to pull the t-shirt he was holding over his head. “Had to change,” he finished, as his head emerged through the hole. “So sweaty. So, did you enjoy the show?”

Josh tried to keep up with the onslaught of words coming at him while at the same time trying not to watch the way that Tyler’s chest muscles moved when he raised his arms above his head. He swallowed.

“Yeah, man!” said Josh, trying to sound genuine but not overly enthusiastic. “It was honestly one of the greatest shows I’ve seen in awhile. Chris burned me a couple of your songs awhile back so I was really looking forward to seeing you in person. You guys, I mean. The band.” He mentally kicked himself.

“No way!” said Tyler. “That’s really cool. Most people have no idea who we are when they show up, or they’ve heard our name but not our music.”

Josh smiled nervously. “Yeah, I mean it was really just a few songs, but I was for sure into them.” Neither of them spoke for a minute while Tyler gathered up the rest of his belongings from the dressing room, shoving them one by one into a red backpack. Josh looked to Chris to break the silence, but he had stepped out for some reason. It was just the two of them. Josh knew that rationally, that shouldn’t make him nervous, but it did.

“Hey, what did you think of the new song?” Tyler said suddenly, and Josh noticed that something about the way he was looking at him had changed, his leading-man confidence shifting ever so slightly. “The one we played first?”

“It was fantastic,” Josh said honestly. It was like nothing I’d ever seen, he said internally. “Did you decide what to name it?”

“Nick is still counting the votes, but it looks like it’s going to be ‘Ode to Sleep.’ I think I like that one,” he said, looking questioningly at Josh as if seeking his approval.

“‘Ode to Sleep’ sounds sick,” said Josh, and Tyler grinned.

“Thanks!” he replied, his confidence returning.

Josh hesitated, and then decided to go for it.

“But my favorite for sure was the second song. That was on the demo Chris burned me, and, like, it might be the coolest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Tyler’s grin doubled. “Thanks, man! Wow… I’m…just so glad that you have so many nice things to say. Yeah, ‘Time to Say Goodbye’ is one of my favorites to perform, for sure.”

He had finally gathered up all of his things, and Josh realized that this was probably his cue to exit. But somehow he felt like he hadn’t finished talking to Tyler, although he wasn’t sure how to put that into words without it being awkward. As if reading his mind, Tyler spoke:

“Wanna walk out with me? Chris is probably out front or something.” Josh nodded, and followed Tyler back down the cramped hallway, through the stage door, and back into the chilly air.

“There you guys are!” said Chris, who was indeed already outside. “Thought I was going to have to come in there and find you. Oh and Tyler, you’re brother is waiting in the car. Said to get a move on.”

“Got it,” replied Tyler, turning to Josh and holding out his hand again. “Hey, again, nice to meet you. Thanks so much for coming to the show. It honestly means a lot.”

Josh could tell that Tyler really meant what he was saying.

“No Problem,” Josh said. And then, before he could stop himself … “Hey, maybe I could… give you my number or something? Just in case this loser -" he gestured to Chris “- ever gets himself into trouble and you’re in a pinch for a drummer.” Josh was pretty impressed with how fluently he had just managed to articulate that sentence.

Tyler’s face lit up.

“Yeah man, that would be rad! You never know, Salih could actually land himself in prison for good one of these days.” He pulled out his phone and handed it to Josh so that he could enter his number. Josh hesitated, before typing “Drummer Josh” into the space for his name, and then adding his number and handing the phone back.

"So yeah, we should maybe hang out some time," Josh said, fully aware of how dumb it sounded, and how many people probably said that to Tyler on a daily basis.

“For sure,” Tyler replied, sounding genuine as he took the phone back. “Alright, well I think I’d better skedaddle. But I’ll see you around, yeah?”

Josh smiled. “Yeah. For sure.”

And then Tyler was vanishing around the corner.

As Josh walked back past the front of the venue on the way to his car, he noticed a guy with sandy brown hair clearing off a table of merch, which included a few copies of a demo CD. Josh figured it might be the same one that Chris had burned for him, but just in case it wasn’t…

“Hey, sorry, am I too late? How much for the demos?” he asked the sandy-haired guy.

“Oh,” the guy replied. “Don’t worry about it, just grab one. I’m ready to clear out.” Josh thanked him, and made a bee-line for his car, slipping the CD into the slot before he had even turned the key in the ignition. Please have Time to Say Goodbye… Please have Time to Say Goodbye...

The sound of an orchestral backing tape filled his speakers, and Josh silently punched the air with joy. He was never turning this music off.

Notes:

Here is the link to the concert that inspired this chapter. If you can make it through the second verse and still be breathing, you're doing better than me - or Josh.

Also yes, I 100% believe that a 21 year old Tyler would say "skedaddle."