Chapter Text
“Come on, Sam! It will be so much fun!” Jessica begged. It had been years since Sam had to shoot a gun, but he knew he still had the ability. That wasn’t what he was afraid of. He feared what his friends would see unfold in front of them. None of them, including his long-term girlfriend, knew of his past. None of them knew he hid knives, devil traps, and guns with silver bullets all over his apartment. None of them knew he kept one tucked into his waistband just in case something happened. But this wasn’t a hunt where he had to kill someone. He wasn’t going to have to hear the sound of a real gunshot, just paintball guns.
Finally, he sighed and agreed to go paintballing with his friends. He would keep that part of him hidden by not actively playing. At least he thought he could, but the moment the fake gun entered his hand he could feel his past trying to push into the future he was creating.
“You okay, Sam?” Jessica, his girlfriend, asked after seeing the way he held the gun.
“Yeah, sorry, I just haven’t had to shoot- uhm- gone paintballing in a long time. My brother always had the better shot,” Sam winced at that last sentence. He never spoke of his past or his family. The gun was breaking down the wall he put up.
“It’s okay. I’ve never gone before so you will probably have a better shot than me,” Jess grinned and dragged Sam into the paintball course. She stayed by him even after the game started. After the first shot flew through the air, Jess looked over toward her boyfriend and saw a look on his face she had never seen on him. She had seen that look on her uncle when he had Vietnam flashbacks, but Sam was barely in his 20s. He had never been to war or shown any other signs of PTSD. She watched as Sam’s eyes darkened with the look of a murderer before he started shooting with great accuracy.
The eighteen other people they were playing with were all out within minutes of Sam starting to shoot. Jess looked on in terrified awe as Sam shot perfect chest shots every time without flinching when a shot came near him. All of a sudden the murder in his eyes fell and he dropped the paintball gun onto the ground looking at his hands in horror.
“Sam? Sam? Sam!” Jess called to him but he was in another world. She reached out to comfort him or to ground him but he jumped away, pulling a very real gun out of his waistband and pointing it to the wired fence that kept them inside the arena.
“Oh my God! Sam!” Jessica felt tears fill her eyes in terror for not only herself but for Sam. Sam glanced at her long enough to put a finger to his lips to shush her. His hunter instincts had kicked in and he knew something was wrong, no something was coming. He crouched down and walked across the arena quickly, making no noise and eyes darting everywhere. He reached the door and when realizing it was locked he kicked it in and entered the little wooden shack where all the equipment was stored. He quickly exited the shack coming back into view of his horrified friends.
They all watched as his finger twitched at the trigger as he crept towards the spot he hadn’t stopped aiming at. The only sounds they heard were the safety being clicked off of the gun and Jess trying to hold back sobs. Sam suddenly froze and they could see him stiffen for a quick moment before he relaxed again.
“Either show your face or get the fuck out of here!” He boomed into the nothingness. Maybe he had lost it. Maybe he was seeing things and needed help. College students don’t tend to get a lot of sleep. Maybe it finally got to him.
Jess and the rest of the team crept out of the arena only taking their eyes off Sam when they entered the shack. “Son of a bitch,” they heard him say and they rushed out of the cramped shack, but couldn’t see Sam anywhere. “Sam?” Jess called out again.
“You’re lying!” they heard Sam yell from the nearby forest. Jessica bolted in the direction of his voice and came face to face with Sam holding a gun to a man’s head. The man, wearing a cheap suit and trenchcoat with messy hair and piercing blue eyes, showed no fear of the gun.
“Sam! What are you doing?” Jess cried out worried about what had happened to her loving, caring, nonviolent, boyfriend.
“Jess, get out of here,” Sam demanded in a voice that barely sounded like the one she was used to. The gun in his hand didn’t move, but the strange man behind it did.
“Jess? As in Jessica Moore? No, that can’t be right,” The strange man finally started to look scared.
“Why the hell do you know her name and my brother’s name?” Sam’s grip stiffened and his finger twitched around the trigger again.
“I told you, I’m friends with Dean and I can’t get a hold of him. I’ve called and called but he won’t pick up,” The trenchcoated man explained.
“Yeah and like I said, you’re a liar. Dean’s never had friends. He doesn’t get along with people. Besides, my dad would never let a Monster like you near him,” Sam scoffed. Suddenly the trenchcoated man fell to the ground holding his hands to his temples groaning loudly.
Jess sprinted forward to help the man on the ground despite Sam’s protest. “Sam call someone for help!” She called out, but Sam just stood there pointing his gun at the head of the man she was now holding. “Sam! Stop! He didn’t do anything!” She cried out, but she saw that dark look cover his eyes again and she quickly let go of the man and jumped out of the way. Sam then shot the man in the head with a scoff.
“Dean’s friend. Yeah, I’m not a dumbass,” Sam said as he started to march away as Jess looked on in horror and sobbed at what she had just witnessed, suddenly passing out.
“Sam Winchester!” Sam heard the man call out and he turned to see the man he had just shot standing up, blood still dripping from the bullet wound. “Sam Winchester. Son of Mary Campbell and John Winchester,” The man spat the name John with hatred. “Brother of Dean Winchester,” the way he said Dean was a drastic difference from the way he said John. He said it with praise and honor instead of venom.
“I don’t know what the hell you are, but you need to leave me alone. I’m not in the life anymore. Go find your friend. Find Dean. He’s probably in a motel room hooking up with some chick. Hell, go find John. I’m sure he will give you a run for your money. Just leave me out of things,” Sam huffed then stomped towards Jess, who was still passed out on the ground. He tenderly picked her up and carried her outside the woods where there was a cop car pulling up. “Shit,” he breathed out.
“What did you do to her?” one of their friends, Josh, asked accusingly. “Did you shoot her?”
“No! I would never hurt Jess,” Sam defended himself but he was getting antsy. “She just got scared when the gun went off. She passed out.”
“Then what did you shoot?” Josh asked, stalling for the police who were walking towards them.
“Nothing. I thought I saw something, but I didn’t. I didn’t mean to scare you guys. It was a false alarm,” Sam tried to explain, but his friend and the police officer who had now reached him were having nothing of it. Jess was grabbed out of his arms and his gun was removed from his waistband. Sam sighed as he listened to the cop read him his rights and got pushed into the back of a cop car. What have I done? He thought to himself as he rode to the station.